#what will go wrong next that just absolutely fucks my mental health into the earth

[floral-hex]

It’s almost 6 in the morning. Can’t sleep. Admittedly lonely. So I’ll type a little text post to feel like I’m actually “doing” something.

Doubled my vilazadone. Started buspirone. I’ve been on a diuretic for my ears (it’s complicated) for about a week now, but whether it’s coincidental or not, my hearing has been pretty great since I started. But hearing comes and goes, so we’ll see if this holds in the coming weeks. My body is having trouble adjusting to all of these new meds, but I think it’s starting to rebalance itself. Chemicals, man…

Okay, I really don’t know what else to say here. Just bored on a Saturday night… well, now Sunday morning. Might go eat some captain crunch. I just started the buspirone and I think it’s maybe making me.. eeeeee 😬😬😬😬… you get it? Not anxious, just on edge. They said take before bed to get used to it, but maybe they meant “hey, take as you’re falling asleep, because if you’re awake when it kicks in, you will stay awake.” Or maybe it’s just normal loneliness and anxiety keeping me up. Who knows. This seems like a downer post, yeah? Sorry. It’ll be positive, ya. I’ll go make some cereal, watch some tv, you all can do whatever you’re doing this morning. There are some birds chirping outside, I’ll see if my cats are awake, it’ll be nice.

#I don’t know if there’s any real way to come on here and tell people you’re lonely without it just coming off as depressing & off putting #like… what are y’all supposed to do about that? #you can’t rightly come through the phone and sit in bed with me #I just… blegh… need to be around someone in the flesh #or I don’t. whatever #anyway… #I’ve been rewatching Lost after… wow about 10 years. I don’t think ever finished it tho but damn it kinda fucks #and I’ve been pretty into Death Stranding #good distractions #there was about a week or two where I literally had so much anxiety I couldn’t daydream. just constant doom thoughts #but now I’m back to my little dumb world building in my head all the time #telling myself I’m going to write books or something but I never actually sit down and do it but still… it’s nice #of course I always have this sword of damocles hanging over me of when the next huge wave of anxiety will hit me #what will go wrong next that just absolutely fucks my mental health into the earth #buuut that’s why I started these new meds. #that’s why I have an appointment with a new therapist this week. #have to be prepared for the next time the sky falls down #jeez okay this is getting too heavy #I forgot what I was going to do. I’ve just been mindlessly typing #oh yeah. gonna jack it then eat some cereal #okay bye I love you #text

[twothpaste]

i'm interested to hear about Porky for that character meme

First impression: The first time I saw Porky was in Smash Bros Brawl when I was like 12, and I was probably about as bamboozled as every other kid back then. I remember being creeped out and a little captivated, wondering what the hell could possibly be up with this rampaging kid / old man / ??? In some kind of life support mech??? Like damn these Mother games must be crazy. (Proceeded to emulate Pokemon instead for the next 6 years 🤸)

Impression now: Oh, I see! He was The Best Villain In All Of Media. That's what was up with him. He carved out a corner in the back of my brain where he's been living rent free for a decade. If I think too hard about him I go off the rails and sometimes become cataclysmically sad. Awesome.

Favorite moment: The entire Empire Porky Building is a mesmerizingly monolithic character study unto itself. But his climactic speech when you finally reach him at the 100th floor is like. God. Fucking hell. Where does one even begin. The surprising eloquent conviction with which he speaks, after a whole dungeon of childish taunting. And then, it's actually such a thin veneer after all. He's deluded himself into thinking he's a godlike visionary, but everything he declares about "humanity" is so insecure and immature and downright wrong. The unnerving spite and tragedy of it all. The urge to pity him feels like a bellyache. How you know where he came from and what a hapless child he used to be (and maybe still is) - but to the people of Nowhere?? They've got no fuckin' clue. And he doesn't belong here, but at the same time, he embodies every individualistic capitalistic apocalyptic thing they tried to shove under the rug and forget about. Just. Agh. Turns my brain and bones to jelly.

Idea for a story:

Unpopular opinion: He's not "insane," or mind controlled by Giygas, or gone "crazy" in the aftermath of Giygas' influence. A thousand lifetimes are sure to do something to a guy's head, sure - and I'm sure his mental health ain't great - but like?? Everything about him hits so much harder if he is of relatively sound reasoning (like every other capitalist), and if he's acting on his own will. Stripping him of his psychological agency renders him so thematically & conceptually toothless to me, idk. If he was just acting zany & evil 'cause he was out of his mind or whatever, then none of the shit he does or says really means anything!! Giygas brought out the worst in him. Aloysius and Lardna conditioned him to make terrible choices. Porky chose to spend 3842389 years committing atrocities unto mother Earth and mankind.

Favorite relationship: His friendship with Ness is so bittersweet, and his use of Claus as an extension of himself is both harrowing and fascinating. I think my fav is his narrative dynamics with Lucas though. How they both faced cruelty at the hands of shortsighted adults and the world at large, but learned completely different lessons from it. How Lucas, presumably a boundlessly kind and forgiving person, gets pushed to his absolute limit with this guy. How he's gotta grapple with the ethics of Porky's fate, whether or not he deserves to spend eternity trapped by his lonesome. How Porky coerces this humble farm kid into the role of Ness, chasing the high of his friendship and rivalry. How he calls Claus his "double," right in front of Claus' actual double, just to drive the knife in deeper. How he thinks he represents the grim reality of human nature, while Lucas stands tall and faces him as a shining counterpoint. Everybody explode now.

Favorite headcanon: Uhh shit I dunno what my favorite is. The Masked Man is based on one of his original comic characters he used to draw when he shouldda been paying attention in math class. He had a crush on Ness and didn't know what to do about it and now it's the whole universe's problem. He has a laughably poorly-informed admiration for Ronald Reagan, 'cause his dad spoke highly of him. If he were just a guy in the 2020s, his goal in life would be to usurp Elon Musk by being exactly the same but "smarter" and "more competent" (he would fail because he's neither).

#hm. long. #thank you 🙇 #ask tag #2thtalks

[ch3rryc0kezer0]

Here are some extracts from my notes app, taken during my first listen of Being Funny In A Foreign Language by THE 1975, track by track:

THE 1975

- piano!

- sounds really big if that makes sense

- “i’m sorry if you’re living and you’re seventeen”

- the flute outro!!!!

HAPPINESS

- BANGER

- “YOU SHOW ME WHAT LOVE IS NOW IM ACTING LIKE I KNOW MYSELFFFFF”

- the bass line <3

- the pew pew noises are my favourite things

- SAX SOLO

- WE NEED MORE SAX SOLOS

- THE MUSIC DIDNT DIE EITH KURT COBAIN, BUT RATHER WHEN PEOPLE STOPPED UTILISING SAXOPHONE SOLOS!!!

LOOKING FOR SOMEONE (TO LOVE)

- GUITAR!

- absolute banger already?!

- “a supreme gentleman with a gun in his hand looking for somebody to love”

- “I WANNA SHOW HIM HES A BITCH” YEAH! FUCK! HIM! UP!!!!!!!!

- “I wanna fuck him up so good” YES MATT! FOLLOW MY EXPERT ADVICE!

- according to spotify it’s about school shootings????

- pumped up kicks pt 2 i guess

- “i was all bang bang bang bang” oh see that makes the shooting part make sense

- “but the boy with the plan and the gun in his hand was looking for somebody to love” i reallyyyy like this lyric

- the writing on this album is so good wow

PART IF THE BAND

- the strings wow

- reminds me of coldplay

- “i always used to bust into my hand” hmmmm 🤨

- “you gotta talk about the people baby” god i love the delivery of this line

- OH THERES A FLUTE SECTION

- I LOVE FLUTE SECTIONS!

- “i fell in love with a boy who was kinda lame” girl same

- chorus sounds like something the Oh Hellos would write

- harmonies <3

- oh there’s a

- a

- what is it called

- xylophone!!!

- “communista keisters” cute… what does that mean

- “i like my men like i like my coffee; full of soy milk and so sweet it won’t offend anybody” having a little giggle

- the outro is so pretty with all the layering strings

OH CAROLINE

- sounds spicy

- “i’ve been suicidal” oh. never mind.

- “if i’m undecided, you decide for me” hmm that doesn’t sound much like a healthy relationship

- “you always on my mind, oh oh caroline” SWEET CAROLINE BA BA BAAAA

- “getting suicidal? it’s honestly not for me” yeah it’s not for many people either bud

- they’re really doing a great job with their outros wow wow wow

IM IN LOVE WITH YOU

- sounds so good from just that guitar tone alone 😫

- love that hann told him to write a more sweet love song cuz they’d made too many dick jokes in their songs 😭

- “laying down a list of the going wrongs” me with my pro-con lists

- whatever acoustic guitar they use for their albums needs to be in my house IMMEDIATELY

- THE RASP ON “in love WITH you!”

- THE BRIDGE HOLY SHIT

- i love the bridge!!!

- “DONT FUCK IT, YOU MUPPIT” BAHAHAHAHAHA

- “Been counting my blessings and thinking this through”

- this is my favourite song so far

- their outros man 😫

ALL I NEED TO HEAR

- party time is over now i think

- sad piano ballad?

- yes party time is definitely over

- that guitar tone holy mary mother of christ

- “i get out my records when you go away” so he’s a swifty?

- “people are talking, i miss what they say” oh that’s GOOD

- i don’t have many thoughts for this one??

WINTERING

- i love the talking at the beginning of the song

- OH THE ALBUM IS HAPPY AGAIN

- sounds folk-y

- i love folk

- “johns obsessed with fat ass and he’s ten years old” what on EARTH is john up to?

- “grade eight but she’s got no soul” i not a year eight but twinsss!

- the writing in this song specifically is so beautiful

- like it feels really nostalgic

- “olivia’s been a vegan since ten” oh me too (not really)

- “I SAID WOMAN, YOU ARE 64 YEARS OLD!!” HAHA

- “i came for my stuff not to argue bout nothing” inchresting

- i want to be home on the 23rd too

- i’m actually so homesick right now and this bloody song has just reminded me

HUMAN TOO

- talking at the beginning!

-good grief we’re back to being sad

- the piano tone wow wow wow

- this better not be a mental health song cuz they always suck

- “so tell me you’re a human” i think i am but i’ll go confirm next door

- “quite like seeing myself on the news” matt you attention whore

- not the biggest fan of this one but it’s still pretty

ABOUT YOU

- THE INTRO!!!

- IT SOUNDS LIKE THE END OF A COMING OF AGE FILM

- GOD I LOVE THIS ONE

- “i know a place, it’s somewhere i go when i need to remember your face” prettyyy

- reminds me of heroes (the version by peter gabriel, not david bowie)

- “it’s not my fault that i’ve fucked everybody here” mate it is??? also you SLAG

- A WOMAN?!

- her voice is stunning wow

- WHO

- IS

- SHE

- (update: she’s hann’s girlfriend awww)

- “i miss you on the train and i miss you in the morning” god that feeling of longing for and missing someone hurts so much why would they remind me

- mirrorball by blondie would go well with this in like a mashup

- SAX SOLO ROUND TWO!!!

- god i love this song

- it’s in a major key but it’s so gothic sounding which i adore

WHEN WE ARE TOGETHER

- i didn’t realise there was another song

- what a pleasant surprise :0

- the guitar is so nice

- “central park is sea world for trees” what does that even mean

- i can’t tell he’s english when he sings and it makes me sad

- like i thought they were american when i first heard their stuff, and didn’t know they weren’t until i googled them and watched an interview

- “you ask about the cows wearing my sweater” okay how high was matt when he wrote this line?

- VIOLIN SOLO WHAT THE SHIT

- “i’m a racist and you’re some kind of slag” ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE

- “i thought that we were fighting but turns out i was just gaslighting you” OH THATS GOLD

#the 1975 #matt #album review #being funny in a foreign language #being funny in a foreign language the 1975 #this band is my everything #like you don’t get it #they #are #my #life

[bagog]

What On Earth Has Happened

Hey, no story here, no experiments. Just a play by play of an awful year in my life. Please don't reblog. Trying to just get it down in one place for people who care about me. Long, sob-story beneath the cut.

Air - 'Things are looking up!' I had started to drift a bit from tumblr. The porno purge came and a lot of my friends trickled off the platform after that. I went back to school, attempting to score myself a Masters degree in something that would pay enough to get me out of Student Debt. I was doing great, picking things up fast. I got a new job at a company doing pretty menial work, but the people I worked with were great conversationalists. The work didn't involve dealing with customers at all, paid well, and was small and accomplishable tasks. Essentially I was being prepped to take a better position at the place once I had my Masters. Covid happened, then. Earth - 'The Whole World Sucks Right Now' My company was "essential," so I continued going to work, now on weird schedules. The company I worked for was profiting off Covid, all the while making fun of it as an overblown conspiracy, even as their own epidemiologist urged them to take better precautions. Work became hard to swallow. Water - 'When your lowest place could be lower' The apartment I shared with my boyfriend flooded. The lowest place in any sewage system is typically the bathtub, such that if it backs up, it does so into that tub. Our lowest point is the toilet. So the apartment flooded. Three times. Roots growing through the sewage outflow meant that, often, you needed to wait a solid hour between toilet flushes, or else the toilet would back up with such gusto the sewage would slosh down the hallway and into the living room. We mopped many times. The problem was finally fixed 8 months later, necessitating our having to camp because our house had no water. Fire - 'To destroy all you've done' One afternoon, I smelled burning. Going to our bedroom, I found our shelf a column of flame. I could barely breathe for all the smoke, but I managed to grab a blanket and beat the fire out. On the other side of the room, the pages of the books upon another shelf had begun to crisp from the heat, the blinds on all the windows were warped. The whole apartment had been about to go up. I'm kinda scared of fire now. Heart - 'When moving is too much to ask' Personal health sorta hit a new low. Migraines kept me out of work for two full weeks. I have seasonal foot pain, I always assumed from hiking for a living in my 20s. Turns out it was gout, all the while. Gout is exceptionally painful: it's like a messy pile of razor blades in the ball of your foot every time you step down. At work, I could barely stand. Walking from my car to the door became something I needed to psyche myself up for. Not a lot can stop a gout flare-up once it's in full swing, so I just had to wait it out. For a month. Two. Some of the worst sustained pain I've been in. Little did I know that, in January, come the kidney stones. Kidney stones feel awful. Feel like total shit. Gout and kidney stones are comorbid--brought about as a result of the meds I take to help me focus. So any day I don't drink enough water is a day when my kidneys or my foot just starts aching. But going back to September of 2020... Homophobia - 'goddammit' Finally things are looking better. I'm limping quickly again. Then I am called into the HR office. I am told that two sexual harassment charges have been brought against me. I'm told that one individual has alleged that I, while in the restroom, used a reflective toilet brush to attempt to peep him under a stall wall. I did not do this. I do not understand--reflective toilet brush?? wtf. The second allegation: I just straight up looked over a stall at a guy. I didn't do this either. I'm asked to defend myself, I ask who or date or time of day. I am given nothing. I remark that I don't think I'm tall enough to see over the stall, and I do not understand about the toilet brush. Of the ten minutes of the meeting, I spend 8 of them trying to get my head around how a claim about a reflective toilet brush has me here. "Would you like us to go now to see if you're tall enough to see over the stall? If that would help your defense?" says the HR head. "Yes, I

would," says I. We did not go. I am told that the accusers have no reason to be collaborating, or to even know each other made a claim. This is bullshit, because it was a company of 80 people, and only a quarter of those employees used the restroom where my alleged harassment was to have taken place. Before I am dismissed from work for the day to go home and wait to find out if I'll be fired or not, I march into the HR office once more and say "I hope none of this is happening because I'm gay." The HR head looks positively offended. I got fired cuz I'm gay. Next day I got a call. They'd come to the "objective truth" (that phrase is burned in my mind), and were terminating me. Apparently they discounted the toilet brush rumor, after all. But they really honestly believed I looked over the stall at a dude. Nightmare - 'No Fear One Fear' Let me tell you something: this is a nightmare. This is my honest-to-god nightmare. I've been terrified of getting accused of something in a bathroom since I was 11 years old. I am incredibly self-conscious and careful in public restrooms. To be fired? From a place full of people I like? And all of them will think I'm a pervert. My boyfriend worked at the same place. He would now have to work there every day dealing with people looking at him and wondering what he must think of his boyfriend. That sent me on a spiral. I'm still out of work, almost a year later. It would have been the worst mental health crisis of my life if it wasn't for my boyfriend, my support network, and the meds I've finally been able to get ahold of. Oh, also. My two accusers? Were roommates. HR knew they were roommates. They basically collaborated on a story to get me fired. The story circulating around the place (I still have acquaintances I talk to working there) has dropped the reflective toilet brush entirely. I guess they thought it was too unbelievable. So anyway, the people who accused me are now telling a different set of events than what I was told. Absolute horse shit. Tried to go to my city's human right's council to see if my situation warranted further attention. I gave my side of the story--including tales of the straight manager who had had enough harassment charges brought against him that he was no longer allowed to meet female staff--which indicated I'd been treated differently and wrongly. My old job made an impassioned argument that the committee violated their First Amendment rights(?) ('Freedom of speech' is the biggie with the First Amendment, for people who cba re:USA). I won the vote!! But one member of the committee was missing. So there weren't enough people for the vote to pass. Dismissed. We took it to the EEOC to make an official federal complaint. Just a week ago, an agent of the US Government patiently explained to us that these laws are literally designed to fuck over the worker and protect the employer unless they are epically stupid, and unfortunately, mine had not been epically stupid. So there's nowhere to go, no recourse to be had. It's over, I guess. Family - 'How to sum it up quickly...' My family hit me with the old soft-disown. No more calls, no more communication. They think they are loving me by not having contact with me. By depriving me of my family, they hope it will make me realize that the path I'm on is destructive, and I'll return to them living an upright life. No. I'm living an upright life, now. And if my family can choose to throw me away, then they are not a family I choose. Then my dad hit me back two months later, absolutely gaslighting me and pretending we never had the disown conversation at all. Reality - 'I don't know who I am anymore' I have trouble knowing what's real, anymore. Every message my dad sends on the surface seems loving and supportive and plaintive. I feel I must be the one in the wrong. I got fired for bullshit reasons. It doesn't feel real. "My family can't possibly have ceased contact with me: that's one of those things I know can never happen!!" But that did happen. So what else that feels real, actually isn't? I do

mean to be so dramatic, and I won't apologize for it. But I truly do feel like my mind has been pretty thoroughly unseated by the last year. Whoever I am, I'm becoming someone different. More distilled, at very least. I've discovered a lot of things about myself: trauma that has likely led to a lot of my mental health problems. Discovered I actually have RAGING ADHD, and it has robber me of a lot of things I wanted to do, and now is sort of consuming me completely. I'm looking for help. Trying to get better. Here's hoping. Every bold point above could be its own book, for all my thoughts about them. But enough of that for now. Love you. Thanks for reading.

#personal #depressed writing #life update #2020 sucked

[heckpup]

Hmmmmmm Time for the Part 2 of the Immortal Tommy AU I cooked up with my raw materials in the middle of the night

:DDDDDDDDD What fun. I have also now decided that Tommy's new wings are now phoenix style (cause he's immortal now, innit?), in flames, but only at the tips (so far, this will change the older he gets) and only if he wants them to be. Had he still been mortal, they probably would've been just a regular red, and so that is what they look like when they're not on fire.

Also, I'd like to imagine that the old worlds from when we were kids (with borders and that didn't go on forever and just stopped and dropped off into the void, right? I know me and my friends loved to find the corners and try to go through. Good times.) are what the god's personal realms are like. Not enough room for rebellion, since there's not enough room to run from an angry god/goddess. If you go to the edge, you can look at/travel to other worlds as well. Most gods don't bring other people into their worlds anyway, but *shrugs*

Edit: (I can't believe I forgot this I'm so sorry ;-;) TW:Mentions of bl00d, Mention of de@th, mentions of m@n!pulat!0n and g@sl!ght!ng, mentions of t0rture.

Just thought I should mention + explain.

~

"Hey Clara?" Tommy asks from a small tree, letting his feathers move gently in the wind.

"Yes, Tommy?" Clara calls from below, looking up at the young immortal. Tommy glides down to meet her on the ground, and he looks up at her a little sheepishly.

"Do you think that since, well, you know, I'm recovered and shit, I could visit those bitches from the SMP? I kinda just want to, uh, blow up at them, sorta. I just- its a lot of untapped rage and I really just wanna scream at 'em, you know? It's totally ok if you think I shouldn't I mean, you are the biggest man- er, woman- here, just wanted to ask, but uh-"

"Tommy." Clara cuts him off with a small smile, and a bit of mischief and malice (And anger, as well) twinkling in her dark eyes. "I think that's a wonderful idea. Besides," She begins to walk over to the edge of their small world, "they need to understand what they did, and its never good for us immortals to hold grudges over mortals. Could cause some unplanned problems in the far future."

Tommy beams, and Clara begins mentally preparing for the showdown with glee. "Tommy, how do you want to do it?" She asks, inner drama queen squealing.

"Well-" Tommy tells her- "-I really want it to be big and dramtic, you know? Like lightning and thunder, and like things bursting into flame and shit. I could probably do the flames myself, but do you think-" He looks up at her expectantly.

"Of course!" She says, patting his shoulder. "A storm fit for a god. It would be only fitting, of course. I am going to come along, of course. Just in case there are any unexpected developments, like more dramatic effect."

Tommy nods. "Yeah! Those bitches aren't gonna know what hit them! But, do you think you could stay invisible 'n shit for it? I still wanna do this by myself. I don't-" He cuts himself off, feathers ruffling. "I wanna yell and bitch about it, and I want to do this on my own. Like an important milestone on my recovery." Clara nods in agreement.

"Right, right. For the lightning though, is there any houses you want to keep out of harms way? I plan on hitting a lot of houses, just to get people up and moving."

Tommy thinks for a minute. "Uh, maybe hit close to Ranboo's house- he's the black and white hybrid, he's always been pretty nice to me- and Sam and Puffy and BadBoyHalo. Sam put Dream in prison a while ago, and Puffy and BBH gave me some gifts the night before you picked me up. So, they're clear from property damage, but I still want to see them. Defintely break Dream out, I want to yell at him though. Wait, maybe I can break him out, like teleport him away from the prison and show off my new powers and shit- anyway, maybe save Niki as well, she was always nice."

Clara nods and begins to locate the small world that she pulled Tommy from so many years ago. "Goodness!" She laughs. "It's been a while since you looked down at this one, isn't it?"

"Yeah, haven't had much time to think shit about those old bitches." Tommy begins to search with her, quickly locating the small SMP, being recently cleared of the red bloodvines that had plagued it for a while.

While they plan, they laugh, and Clara is reminded of how far the young godling had been when she whisked him away. His old SMP hadn't deserved him, not even for a second.

~

Tommy and Clara were watching from the clouds as the little people in the SMP ran around panicked about the storm that was destroying a lot of their houses. Tommy watched with glee and satisfaction as the majority of the SMP (save for Dream, of course) gathered in the newly rebuilt community house to discuss the looming problem.

"Dream has to be behind this, Sam!" Fundy growled out. "He's the only one that has this kind of power!"

"You ready?" Clara asked Tommy, after waiting for him to be perfectly positioned under one of the next lightning bolts, aimed at one of the doorways to the community house. Tommy nodded and lit the tips of his wings, prepared for the force of the bolt to push him back down to the earth.

The lightning hit, and Tommy found himself being thrown down and pushed to the ground.

The first thing he noticed was that the bolt left little sparks over his body and his wings were a little more lit up than usual.

The second thing he noticed was that everyone in the community house was looking at him.

He stood up and, with a great amount of false confidence, strode into the room. Tubbo was staring slack-jawed, as were most people in the building. Phil's face was incredibly pale, to the point that Tommy actually began to worry about the man's health. Ranboo looked at him wide-eyed, but then Tommy saw recognition flash and a smile began to creep onto his face.

But the person that Tommy had his eyes on the most was the no-longer transparent form of his elder brother, well and alive again.

"What's up, bitches?" Tommy grinned, and suddenly the room was alive with shouts and yelling and holy Prime, Tommy probably should have prepared more for this reaction but he hadn't even known Wilbur was alive but oh, Phil's yelling about how Tommy left him and-

"Tommy, how could you? You've been off to who knows where? Where the fuck have you been? How could you leave us?" Phil's void-black wings ruffled, and Tommy didn't even think before responding,

"I've been off healing, bitch! You know, from all the trauma you adults forced on me? And the gaslighting from Dream? The manipulation? It took me years to get over that shit, and the god's world-time runs slow! I spent a whole fucking year trying to understand that what you bitches put me through was fucking wrong, and I was not alright! I left you all here because you left me when I was at my fucking WORST! YOU LET A SIXTEEN YEAR-OLD FIGHT IN FUCKING WARS AND GET EXILED! YOU EXPECTED ME TO TAKE THAT SHIT LIKE A FUCKING ADULT? FUCK NO!" Tommy's wings flared out and he could feel the heat radiating off of it, his flames responding to his anger.

"Thomas Minecraft-Innit, I am your father, how dare you-"

"Oh, you're my father now? Now, after you abandoned me, neglected me, left me in the dust? You cared more about your fucking war buddy than your own two sons! Wilbur was more of a father than you were, and then you fucking killed him!"

"Tommy-" Tubbo tried to interject.

"AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON YOU TUBBO! DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID? YOU LEFT ME AS WELL, YOU LEFT ME WITH FUCKING DREAM! YOU EXILED ME, AND FOR FUCKING WHAT? A SAD POSITION IN A COUNTRY THAT YOU LET DREAM PUPPETEER ANYWAY! WE FOUGHT THAT WAR TO GET AWAY FROM DREAM, AND THEN YOU FUCKING LET HIM RIGHT BACK IN!" Tommy raged, turing on his ex-best friend. "Oh, speaking of-" He snapped his fingers and then Dream was in the room with them, wearing an orange jumpsuit and looking around wildly.

The room let out a great outburst, which, to be fair, was expected.

But then Dream took one look at Tommy and decided that it was a-fucking-okay to try and re-manipulate Tommy again. As if he didn't notice that Tommy was much older, much more healed and much more powerful than before. (Or that could just be him. Clara did tell him that gods- and even godlings- could change their age and appearance, and sometimes it was involuntary and depended on emotions and metal stability. Tommy did actually feel much younger. Maybe it was from being in this place, this world, and being in front of the person that hurt him most. That would make sense.)

"Tommy!" Dream cried with unusual glee. "You're here to help me, aren't you? You finally came to your senses about your best friend, right?" Tommy only raised an eyebrow in response, not giving him an answer. "What, not going to give an answer to your only friend? Tommy, I stayed with you, I kept you company when no one else did, remember?" Prime, how long did Dream think he had been in that prison for?

Tommy only shrugged and then pulled out a sword and dashed up to Dream, keeping the blade on Dream's throat. "You mother fucker. You are the biggest bitch boy I've ever, and I mean ever, had the pleasure of knowing, bitch boy. You are the absolute worst thing to ever happen to me, you know that? You killed me twice, and for what? Gratification of knowing you killed a teenager? And then you tried to gaslight me, manipulate me into doing your sick shit for you? That's the most fucked up thing I've ever known, Dream. I'm going to enjoy taking this life from you." And then he swung, embedding the blade into the wall behind where Dream's body had once been.

TommyInnit killed Dream with [A Final Blow]

Dream made the achievement [Banned?]

"Tommy what-" Tommy turned to look at Technoblade, who was looking blankly at his chatlog.

"Oh, don't worry too much about him. He'll just be stuck for a few days in the ban-void, and then he'll come back on his own." A great number of people paled, knowing the ban void, when you were still on a world, meant that you were subjected to great amounts of agony as your body tore itself apart and tried to pull its code back together. And Tommy had just taken one of Dream's lives, too!

"Tommy, what happened to you?" Phil asked, horrified.

"I grew up," Tommy said with a smile. "And now I have the rest of time to spend continuing to grow and live. Becuase now, Tommy Innit never dies."

Techno rushed at him suddenly, axe swinging. It caught the edge of Tomm'y neck, and Tommy took the chance to grab Techno by the scruff on his, and lift him up, also while feeling his body grow older. Several gasps were heard around the room at the sudden change. "What were you trying to do there, Technoblade? You can't kill a god." And then he let Techno drop to the ground, before touching the part of his neck Techno had sliced.

His hand drew away with golden ichor.

#writing #text post #tommyinnit #clara #gods and goddesses au #winged tommyinnit #listen they like the drama ok #immortal tommyinnit #tommy is now some sort of minor god now #phoenix tommyinnit #DREAM IS IN PRISON POGGGGG #part 2 #philza minecraft #bad parent c!Philza #technoblade #Dream #Dream smp #Tubbo #I'm afraid of Wilbur Soot hes tol and lanky #c!dream can die in a hole #THE BAN VOID #ITS WHAT HE DESERVES #heckpup writes

[chaoticdean]

Do you believe the SPN writers owed us the "right" ending? (This is a serious question!) And if so, what was it? Would you require a "happily ever after" for all the characters involved? Is the mental health of the audience a priority when creating a story? I know, a lot of thoughts, but I'm v curious!

Well, I think any writers of any show owe their audience the “right” ending. That being said, I still firmly believe that what we got as an ending (that englobes 19 and 20, btw) resulted from corporate fuckery rather than from the writers shooting themselves in the head with their own gun. If you’ve been attentive enough for the past few seasons, you’d have noticed the theme and the clear meta storylines being laid out by the writing team, and the way season 15 all up to episode 18 was absolutely, utterly, completely following that path. The way both episodes 19 and 20 can be separated from the rest of the season is a clear hint at what happened, and that’s also why it can be this easily disregarded.

Now, back to your question. To me, the right ending involved several things.

Dean getting to speak his truth: not only did that involved the situation with Cas needing to be addressed in any way, but that also involved getting Dean to let go. To me, Dean was always going to die at the end. What I didn’t picture was his death being this meaningless, on an insignificant hunt, only with Sam by his side, delivering a 5 minutes speech that could’ve been avoided in favor of calling a goddamn ambulance to save his life. I expected something along the lines of Sam and Dean raiding Heaven in their final battle against Chuck, and at the end of it Dean choosing to stay behind, choosing the Afterlife and having something with Cas while Sam went back to Earth to live his life as the Leader he was always supposed to be. Which brings me to my second point.

Sam rising up to the leadership position he was always supposed to get: I think I made a post sorely for this at some point, but long story short Sam’s storyline has been carefully crafted since season 1 to end at a point where Sam was supposed to become the leader of this big old hunter family in America. Yet, he ends up closing up the bunker (effectively turning down everything he’s worked for for the past 3 decades of his life, everything Dean, Cas and their entire extended family fought for), and runs off to live a meaningless life with a blurry wife and a proxy kid he names after his brother. This is nowhere close to anything they’ve ever laid out for Sam’s path, and I don’t even understand how Sam stans can be okay with where he ended up. He spends the last 4 decades of his life mourning his brother and turning his back on everything the show made a point of crafting for him. He never becomes the leader he was supposed to. He never gets back to Eileen. He apparently forgets everything about the past two decades of his life. Again, the show makes a point of telling us “you thought what we showed you for 15 seasons was real? Well, here’s our #1 character turning his back on everything we made a point of carefully tell, because non of it mattered”

Cas’ place in the finale: Parts of what makes no sense is the fact that Cas disappears in the Empty after ep. 18 and nothing about it gets addressed later on. I’m not even talking about Misha being in the episodes, because if Covid really was the excuse here (hint, it’s not, but bear with me regardless) there were SO MANY easy ways to explains this storyline without needing Misha to be on screen. You’re telling me there was no way to grab an extra to wear one of the trenchcoats and sit next to Jensen in the Impala? You’re telling me there was no way of adding ADR at the end of 20 to add a simple “Hello Dean” to the scene, before Sam appears in Heaven? You’re telling me there was no way of having a Winbros conversation about what happened? Castiel’s absence makes no sense, if not for the fact that he’s been a core character of the show for 12 years, and not having him at the end felt like a punch to the guts. Castiel was also deeply linked to Dean’s character arc, and his absence leaves Dean’s storyline entirely incomplete (which, I may have to add, is completely hysterical judging by the fact that he’s literally the second main character of the show). I’m not gonna go on and on, but basically I pictured Castiel being there when Dean came along, and being part of the reason Dean makes a choice of staying instead of going back. 

There are a lot more things to say. The complete disappearance of Eileen in favor or Sam getting a blurry wife. The complete erasure of the Found Family angle they made a point of cultivating for so long. Basically, 19 and 20 felt like the whole series being ripped away to pieces and the show telling us that it was all a lie. The “right” ending, to me, involved Sam and Dean finally being at peace. It involved Sam finding Eileen again and working up to the leadership position he was always supposed to get. It involved Dean finally making a choice for himself instead of thinking as a 2-unit with Sam. It involved Dean speaking his truth to Cas. It involved the co-dependence finally being bid goodbye.

Would you require a "happily ever after" for all the characters involved?

No, because at the end of the day this is Supernatural, this is not necessarily the picture-perfect show for a “happily ever after”. That being said, you can have a satisfying ending without it being happily ever after. Dean choosing to stay in Heaven is essentially Dean choosing to metaphorically die. Sam and Dean finally going their own way in different realms is fulfilling and satisfying, but doesn’t really qualify as a happily ever after either. 

Is the mental health of the audience a priority when creating a story?

Good fucking lord, YES. It SHOULD BE a priority. I assume this is in relation to something I wrote a while back, where I basically said that the ending they wrote was dangerous. And I stand by it. This ending sent so many wrong messages to the audience of a beloved 15-year-old show. “We made you think that family didn’t end in blood? Well, we lied, and that’s why the ending of Supernatural will consist of sorely Sam and Dean, with the meaningful appearance of OG Bobby at the end of it”; “Speak your truth and you will be silenced”; “you’ll never be free from trauma so it’s better to just choose to bleed to death and die”. I think I could go on for hours, but you get the idea. This ending was dangerous, and I wish they’d considered the trauma that would unleash on their own fandom because it’s making me insane. I’m glad I’m at a point in my life where I can take care of myself, but a couple of years back that would have been enough to set me back on my own destructive path. And it’s making me sick to think that it probably did put many fans down to the point where it fucked with their sanity. 

Yes, it should be a priority. Obviously, it wasn’t a priority when crafting an ending for Supernatural.

Sorry, that got excruciatingly long. I hope that answered part of your questions, but feel free to reach out for more!

#at this point i feel like this ending is going to drive me insane for years #corporate fuckery #spn finale #finale fuckery #is this meta? #idk #jus.meta #spn 15x19 #spn 15x20

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

hawkeye squared for the otp meme please? 🥺

as usual, i feel i need to suggest the idea of Lin Manuel Miranda as Clint, though I just saw a gifset of Manny Jacinto, and he is ALSO a great option

What was their first impression of each other?

“WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?”“

As awful as it is, I LOVE them having their meet ugly when Clint thinks it’s a gangbusters idea to attack a teenager on a date in a carriage in central park. like. what a dumbass. also, both of them being all “I’m Hawkeye!” “no you’re not, I’m Hawkeye!”

What is their ship name?

Hawkeye Squared. It’s just cute. At some point they get asked (by a drunk Tommy, probably) what the square root of Hawkeye is, if it can be squared. Obviously, the square root of Hawkeye is Lucky the Pizza Dog

Describe their relationship dynamic.

two wrongs don’t make a right, but two competent individuals make a team of idiots.

I don’t know--they’re just so human with each other. They run with superpowered super special people, and that affects how they see themselves. I think they forget how breakable they are, and at the same time they’re really aware that they’re normal. (and maybe, they’d never admit it, feeling inadequate sometimes). With each other they get to be human, and they get the ordinary human stuff they have to deal with. 

They’re really competitive, but in a fun way. Their underlying competitiveness also makes them strive to be better. 

In some ways, their relationship is a meeting in the middle--Clint coming up, Kate coming down. Clint wants to be more together, less reckless, less one night stand with mob molls. Kate wants to be less...rich bitch. More aware of how money has made her life easier, how her life experiences aren’t typical. 

They each want to be more stable for the other, they just want to be there for each other. They’re both messes, but it’s better when they are messes together.

What was their relationship like before they got together?

Manatee and mento.

No no just kidding. Most of their friends and Avengers coworkers think they had a mentor/mentee relationship, but the only think Clint has mentored Kate in is how to get horribly injured.

That’s one of my favorite things about their relationship. Kate was Hawkeye completely independent of Clint. She was a team leader, she had her shit TOGETHER, but the instant she hung out with Clint for any length of time she transforms into a garbage can person. 

Their relationship trajectory is definitely idiots to friends to lovers. Their relationship status has been “in cahoots with” for almost as long as they’ve known each other. They’re just....their relationship is like Shane Madej and Ryan Bergara’s. Like, that’s not the dynamic, but it’s the feeling, you know?

They joke about being in love with/married/non-sexual life partners forEVER before one day it’s like “ha ha oh SHIT am I joking??”

How would they describe each other?

they each think the other is one of the best people they know. And that being together makes them want to be better. 

if Kate isn’t listening, Clint will absolutely admit she’s the better shot. NOT BY MUCH, but if he HAD to say, that would be his answer. She’s a total badass. He’s John Mulaney’s every monologue about Anna. “My partner is a bitch and i like her SO MUCH” “she does not give a shit what anyone thinks of her” “i’ve never been supervised before” “she’s my HERO”. Seven drink Clint will just talk about everything about Kate that he likes. Many, many Avengers can attest that this is a very long list.

If Clint isn’t listening, Kate will say that Clint is one of the best men she’s ever met, and he looks BANGING in a skirt. He wants so much to do the right thing and even if he gets it wrong he just keeps trying and how can you not be inspired by that? He inspired her to be better and kinder and try harder, and keep trying, keep fighting. There’s always someone to help. Being a hero isn’t just about stopping dictators bent on world domination or fighting aliens. It’s not always about the world. Sometimes it’s about your neighborhood, or your building. Sometimes it’s just saving a dog. Clint’s always reminding her that being a hero isn’t about the size of the heroing. It’s just about doing the right thing.

What do they love about each other?

everything they tell people about each other, lol. 

They love that they’re both superheroes, that they’re both Hawkeye. That they keep trying and keep trying. 

What do they have in common?

Coffee, dogs, cars, purple, arrows

What are some differences between them?

I feel like they both have weird ideas of what’s normal as far as childhood experiences, but while Kate’s tend towards “what do you mean you didn’t have a nanny and a fencing instructor and a music tutor” and Clint’s are more along the lines of “eat all the food because you don’t know where your next meal might come from”

Kate also takes better care of cars than Clint does. She’s also a better chameleon than Clint--she can blend into different scenarios better than he does. It helps that Kate likes doing it more than Clint does. 

What made them realize they were in love?

A million little things that added up to mean “I can’t imagine my life without you”. But probably when Kate bounced to LA after their Big Fight and they realized they did Not like being apart from each other. They didn’t call or text during that time and it was MISERABLE. They’re slightly codependent. They know it. It’s fine.

What are their love languages?

they’re actually really big on words of affirmation (i have to look up love languages every time i get to this question so i give actual love languages answers) it’s never big flowing speeches but they’re always telling each other “good shot” “good coffee” “you’re amazing hawkeye” “i know hawkeye” and physical affection of course. They’re very big on consent in all situations so Clint has taken to signing stuff like “wanna cuddle” “hey can i hold your hand” etc etc (steve and bucky see them do this and pick up the habit). physical affection also includes patching each other up when it’s not a hospital worthy injury

Do they get married? Who proposes and how?

eventually and on accident

they’re partners for YEARS and everyone thinks they’re banging, and then when they finally DO start banging nobody thinks they are. so they’re in this weird limbo of being in a healthy committed relationship that none of their peers know about despite seeing it all the time. 

so they accidentally get married for a job, or one of them is like “Fuck! i field our taxes jointly this year, we gotta get married!” (i have no idea how this mistake happened. Is Jarvis in cahoots with Jonas and Viv to set them up? Probably)

You know how Winona Ryder and Keanu Reeves were like “wait, did we get for real married on the set of Dracula years ago?” like that vibe is also good. That Clint and Kate TECHNICALLY got married when she was like. twenty for undercover reasons. And never realized it. so they’re going to file paperwork and some poor wage drone is like “uh, we already have paperwork filed on a ms. bishop...AND a mr. barton” *frantic clicking* “uh, it looks like you’re already married???”

they have a fake fight over missing anniversaries. every single one of their friends has a moment of “why did hawkeyes happen to me”

they have a wedding that’s mostly just a huge party. Kate gets kidnapped by von Doom (he promised he would! they have a weird friendship) Billy and Steve fight over who is going to officiate. somehow eli wins. all of clint’s exes dance with kate. all of kate’s exes dance with clint. wade declares himself both groomsman and bridesmaid, staving off the inevitable fight of who “got” Wade (that Kate would have won, no sense in hurting Clint’s feelings, that’s Wade’s opinion)

the proposal happens after the wedding. they want to get the most bang for their buck, and they’re both petty little shits, so Kate “surprises” Clint with a proposal at some big snooty gala Derek Bishop is hosting. during the gala and the flood of paparazzi, they “accidentally” “escape” for a makeout sesh and “inadvertently” lead the press to evidence of Derek’s criminal activities. they get engaged and he gets arrested in the same night. it’s a very productive proposal.  

What would happen if they never met?

not an option. they always meet. even if a universe is missing one of them, the multiverse will find a way to make them meet, even for a short time. they represent something greater-than-self for each other, and they both need that. it’s easy for them to get tangled up in their depression, their ptsd, their mental health issues and feelings of inadequacy, but --

it’s like. “i’m not alone” there’s someone else out there. and some days it’s like, you know what, I bet he/she is fucking up my good name. I have to get up and do something. some days it’s like there’s someone else out there with my name. it’s okay for me to take a break and breathe. everything is going to be ok.

Who dies first? How does the other one react?

Kate, by thirty seconds TOPS. they die saving the universe, of course, and specifically an angry mama cat

they die sprawling next to each other, bleeding out, Clint internally, Kate externally. her blood haloes around her head and she’s talking to Clint, voice weak and it’s a miracle his hearing aids are still working, because as much as he doesn’t want to hear this he doesn’t want Kate to feel alone, and she’s saying how she’s scared and she can’t feel her legs and she flails an arm at him and he catches her hand, pressing kisses to her bloody knuckles

and then Kate stops talking, he can’t hear her breathing and she’s still, so still, and he drags himself closer to her carving in to what little time he has left on this earth and he doesn’t care, kisses her still-warm face, gently closes her glassy eyes. sobbing, he pulls her to him. “I’m right behind you, girly-girl.”

Are there any love rivals?

yes and no? I think Clint would consider Kate’s team as a whole a threat to his monopoly on Kate’s affections. But I also don’t see them being very monogamous all the time. I think they’d very easily and happily expand to a polyamorous relationship. they’re both such nerds about it, too. like, they KNOW the other is awesome, naturally everyone wants part of that awesomeness, and they deserve to have people in their lives who think they are awesome. 

they are also weirdly possessive in a lot of ways. at least, Kate is. Clint likes people claiming ownership of him, of belonging. Clint can belong to other people, but Hawkeye is hers. Because hawkeye is her, and hers, and it’s a tangled mess of ownership and pronouns but they get it, and everyone else leaves the weird Hawkeye stuff alone for the most part.

Describe your favorite moment of that ship!

moments of realization. when they realize they’ve been platonically married for YEARS and maybe they want to be....carnally married as well??? and then just. UST for MILES. Staring. looking away. staring again. getting caught staring! oh no! the terrible, horrible, gut churning moment of being found out, of “this won’t hurt our friendship or our working relationship, i swear, do you want me to leave?” followed by the other party suddenly barreling into them, initiating a frantic makeout and grinding sesh, the RAGE that they could have been doing this for how long???

What do other characters think about this relationship?

“so are you guys together for real now, or what?” and “lmao no you’re not fooling me again! nice try though.”

there are so many people who don’t believe they’re a for real couple. and to be fair, there was that once time they pretended to be a couple and did a registry and everything. i’ve said it before, though, that someone could walk in on Kate and Clint banging and just be like “huh. weird Hawkeye thing” and never once think “oh my god clint and kate are an item”

Kate could literally be pregnant with Clint’s baby, they could be buying a house together, they could be on the Newlywed show, and most of their friends and teammates will be all “psh, codependent much? you gonna paint the outside of the house purple or what?”

Describe or write a really fluffy scene!

honestly anything goopily domestic. the sigh of relief when they both drop their go-bags in the entry way and realize they’re home. slow dancing in the living room. Kate telling Clint to start a load of laundry, only he pretends he can’t see her signing, so she throws an orange at him. Clint’s being honored at some pompous thing he hates or Stark has him on stage for some Avengery thing and Kate signs obscene or funny things to him and he has to keep a straight face.

Describe or write a really angsty scene!

all about the hurt/comfort here

so this is a post-Battleworld kind of thing. Everyone’s been flung to different universes and 616 doesn’t exist anymore and nobody knows if their friends are dead, if they’re ever going to see them again. 

And Clint spots Kate (she’s bossing people around because she’s good at it, in every universe, he notes) but he’s not getting his hopes up. he’s seen a lot of Kates, and they’re all good, they’re all great, but they’re not his Katie-Kate, It’s not fair to compare every Kate in the multiverse to one single solitary Kate that he happens to like more than anything else, but screw fair, right?

Kate spots him. And she doesn’t really react, and Clint’s bracing himself to deal with Kate but not quite Kate, and they’re both making painfully polite small talk and he eventually says something about coming from 616 and it’s instantaneous, the change in her. “What the fuck did you just say, Clint? Clinton Francis Barton I swear to god if this is a joke--”

and it’s the Correct Kate, everything is good, great, wonderful, and then they get arrested for public indecency. 

Talk about a headcanon you’ve never talked about before.

I don’t have a lot of headcanons for them, tbh? their braincells are repellent to one another. put them together and they’re just idiots trying to make their way in the universe. 

oh! individually, they are so unlucky, but put them together and it kind of cancels out? their together jobs have the best outcomes. and their together jobs are how they acquire all sorts of random stuff. like an apartment building, a yacht, a Mars rover prototype, a child, a few extra spouses...

What does a typical date look like for them?

pizza, coffee, petting their dog and strangers’ dogs. takeout, stopping an armed robbery, cleaning up injuries, snuggling on the couch with popcorn or shave ice. they’re also working on a duo acrobatic routine in their spare time.

What’s a really significant moment in their relationship?

when Kate comes back. she leaves and it sucks, but she comes back and they don’t know where this is going, but they know their partnership is vital, and they’re going to make it work

(also when Clint let Kate drive the skycycle)

#clintkate #hawkeye squared #kate bishop #hawkeye #clint barton #ask meme answers #my stuff #Anonymous #NO ONE is drift compatible liek the hawkeyes

[hopeless-starry-kingdom]

You are the Cause of my Euphoria │Draco  Malfoy

Draco Malfoy x Reader

Summary:Draco is the cause of your Euphoria but to get to your euphoria there is heartbreak

tw:toxic relationship,cursing,and mentions of sexual acts

!!!!!!I AM NOT ROMANTICIZING TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS.I AM TAKING A SCENE FROM EUPHORIA AND TURNING IT INTO MY OWN LITTE REMAKE.PLEASE DONT THINK THAT I AM ROMANTICIZING THIS FORM OF RELATIONSHIP!!!!!!!!

“First of all, ew. Second of all, ew.”You said as you watched Draco grope Pansy Parkinson from her ass as they danced. He was taunting you. Playing his little game he always did when you two get into a fight. Letting Pansy hang all over him but this time it was more extreme. The Yule Ball lights danced off you and the platinum blond as you stared each other down. It seemed you were the only two in the room full of wizards and witches.

The argument in question took place a week ago when Draco seen Cedric Diggory walking you to Potions. Cedric was a good friend and also sat next to you in class. He was asking for help on one of the recent assignments and since you were so good at Potions, you of course helped him. Draco had always been the jealous type. He didn’t like the stares you got from boys in all houses when you walked down the halls together. He’d pull you extra close. He didn’t like that some of them were bold enough to float a note or two asking you out or telling you how pretty you looked that day.

So when Ron, knowing Draco’s jealous tendencies and wanted to piss him off, called out to you. He told you how gorgeous you looked in a skirt. This sent Draco into a rage and turned the poor red head into a Weasel. You yelled at Draco and told him to turn him back and that it wasn’t necessary.

But you also had a small green monster in you. You didn’t mind when Draco got attention from the other girls. It only irked you when Pansy couldn’t keep her slimy hands off him and wouldn’t stop praising the ground he walked on. So you set her robes on fire when you and Draco had gotten into another one of your “splittings”. That’s what everyone at school called it. The splitting happened after every argument and one of you would end up walking away and saying how done you were with the others antics and it was over.

Sometimes the fights were over small things. Like the way Draco would kiss you hungrily when he knew people were looking. And sometimes big things, like the way Draco’s father would treat him and your guys’ relationship.

But that was the thing about your relationship, you loved each other to the ends of the earth, you would say. In an argument with you mother to defend him when you brought him over for Christmas, you told her that you’d kill for him and he’d do the same for you. And it was true.

There was no one else that you could picture the rest of your life with. It will always be Draco. Sure your friends and others would say its a bit toxic, with all the arguments and plotting against each other. Maybe it was just the Slytherin in both of you. But after your screaming match about what happened last week with Cedric, you knew he was in the wrong for getting wrongfully jealous and the way he was dancing with Parkinson, all you saw was red.

You glared are the couple as Pansy danced with him and he sent you a sly look.

“Y/N..” You friend warned at the table your group sat at. None of you had dates. Sure people asked you once they heard about yours and Draco’s splitting (because no one dared to ask you while you were actually with him. They were all scared). But you didn’t want to go around prancing with a new guy like you usually did. You actually wanted to solve the problem this time. But Draco had another idea.

Draco smirked at you as your death glare continued.

“Y/N, don’t.” Another friend warned as you got the same look of revenge on your face. What set you off was the way Draco had turned her and began to run his hands along her stomach “Y/N, don’t do—”

“Fuck this.” You snapped before Hermione could finish and stood up, looking to find someone to dance with. You seen Blaise sitting with his friends and approached.

“Do you know how to dance?” You asked and Blaise looked at you ,surprised. Him and Draco were friends and you knew that it would piss him off, royally. When he stared behind you, you knew he was looking at Draco. You huffed when you knew he was going to deny your request so you left to find Cedric.

Which wasn’t hard becuase he was always surrounded by people. You grabbed his hand and said “Let’s dance.” Thats all that it took for him as his friends gave him wolf whistles as you dragged him deeper into the dance floor and past Draco. He had stopped his dancing as he stared at Cedric gripping your hips and swaying with you. You turned and started to rub your back onto his front while rubbing your hands down your dress clad body. Draco glared at you and you only tilted your lips up before taking your hands and rubbing them up Cedric’s side of his head.

“I guarantee you Y/N and Draco are going to get married.” Hermione said as she sat down at the table and watched the scene unfold “They’ll probably divorce like three times and in some strange way live a pretty happy life.” Your friend added.

“Yeah.” Harry agreed, then Ron, and then everyone at your table was nodding their head.

Back on the dance floor, the music was becoming more upbeat and you upped your antics. Your moves becoming more sultry and seductive and it had Cedric blushing but had Draco fuming. He tried to match your heated moves but eventually gave up once he seen Cedric whisper something in your ear and you smirked. He dropped his hands from Pansy and marched outside for a breather. You saw that he was now gone and Pansy was left confused, alone, and quite embarrassed in the middle of the dance floor.

You rolled your eyes and turned to Cedric, “Nice moves. I’m going to go sit down now.” You gave him a smile but before you could leave he caught your arm.

“Do I have a chance with you? Or is it always going to be Malfoy?” You sighed as a lump formed in your throat. You truly didn’t want to lead Cedric on, he was a good guy with a kind soul. But he was right, it was always going to be Draco.

“I never wanted to mislead you,Ced. Honestly. It’s just me and Dray—”

“It’s complicated and you have history. It’s fine. I understand. My advice?Stop trying to one up one another. It’s not healthy and frankly not good for either of your mental health.” You laughed because of course Cedric would be giving you life advice in the middle of a school dance.

“Thank you,Ced. I’ll try.” You smiled at him before walking back to your table.

“Well that was quite a show. Is it my turn?” Everyone glared at Ron and Hermione punched him in the shoulder “Ow!”

“Whatever. I just want to go back to our dorms. Tonight was absolute shit.” Everyone sighed and agreed but then Harry spoke,

“Uh, Malfoy’s heading this way.” Everyone but you straightened out as he approached.

“What do you—”

“Shove it,Weasel.” Draco cut Ron off and you glared at him. Draco always found it a mystery how you managed to become friends with the Golden Trio, considering they were from a different house and different status. You had taught him that though they may be different from him and you, they weren’t different at all. Houses shouldn’t matter, the blood that ran through their veins shouldn’t matter. It did take him awhile to realize where you were coming from and what you meant but you were right, and he realized his mistakes and apologized to them. But that didn’t mean they still didn’t irk him to a certain extent.

“Y/N get up.” He demanded and you rolled your eyes with a scoff “No.” You didn’t like how he spoke to you sometimes either. Like his father to his mother.

“Just get up.”

“Why?”

“Can you stop being so bloody difficult and come dance with me?” He hissed and everyone looked around the table at eachother.

“Why would I dance with you?”

“Becuase it’s a fucking slow song.Come on get up.”

“Piss off, Malfoy.She doesn’t want to go with you. End of story.” Harry stood and tried to defend you and you smiled at him but looked back at Draco.

“You’re despicable. But fine i’ll dance with you.” You gave in and stood. Grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the other teens who were slow dancing.

He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you close to him. Your hands snaked around his waist as well and you layed your head on his chest as the song played.

“Sometimes I hate you.” You whispered

“I know.” He replied

“You’re cruel, psychotic, and a jealous freak. And sometimes I don’t like the way you make me feel.” You admitted and your voice cracked as tears began to well in your eyes and cause your throat to tighten. The same thing happened with Draco.

He was trying to get better at this. He didn’t want you to fell like there was no love in the relationship. He did love you. You were the light of his life. You were his patronus. He didn’t mean to get overly jealous or possessive but he just wanted you to himself and he couldn’t bare the thought of someone else being with you the way he is. It physically hurt to watch you walk away from the numerous breaks you two had. He didn’t want this anymore. He didn’t want to break your heart anymore than he already has. He wanted to give you unconditional love all the time, no more jealous kisses or possessive grabs. He swore to himself that after seeing you with Cedric.

You sniffled, “It’s not good for us.”

“I know.”And just as he was about to apologize and swear to you, one last time you spoke “And I know that I’m not the best girlfriend either and Im sorry but maybe we shouldn’t be together.” You hiccuped and Draco shook his head at the thought of you not being in his life. He gently pulled back and intertwined your hands “I love you.”

“Me too...But I don't want to hurt you anymore. I don't want to feel like this anymore. We both deserve better.” You replied and everyone was unaware of the conversation going on, they payed no mine to the couple and the relationship being torn down.

“I don't want anyone else, Y/N. Im sorry, we’ll fix this. We always do, darling.”He cupped the side of your face and rested his forehead against yours. You raised your hands and gripped the back of his platinum locks and brought his lips to yours. You knew that fixing the issue would only lead back to where you stood now. So you pulled back from his lips, him chasing yours as you stared up at him with teary eyes

“I’ll see you around,Dray.” And then you walked away. Away from the boy you loved but also away from constant heartbreak.

#draco x you #draco fanfiction #draco malfoy #draco x reader #draco x y/n #draco #Dracomalfoy #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy x y/n #draco malfoy oneshot #draco malfoy x you #draco malfoy fanfic #harry potter

[ghostgetter]

That would be Gold Rush

When Keith thinks of Lance, he thinks: loud, eccentric, supercilious. Over the years, he’s had the luxury of learning more about him, like how he’s exceptionally considerate, especially when anyone around him is at their lowest point. Or how passionate he is about the things he loves. Or, even, regardless of his occasional arrogance, Lance was actually pretty good at the things he put his heart to.

Sharpshooter, indeed.

Now, after wars have ended and the peace has claimed everyone’s hearts, there is a certain epiphany Keith has had for his righthand man.

He may potentially, possibly, in some fashion, be in love with him.

It is utterly horrifying.

Keith has fought aliens twice his size, defeated empires, lead the most powerful robot and defended the universe, but this makes his skin crawl.

Whenever Hunk talked about legitimate romance and his love for Shay, Keith never thought twice about what it was like. Love and being with another person never came close to his ideals and imaginations while he was growing up. He needed to be with the stars, to find what was calling him. A lone-wolf that yearned for a family.

Now? Now he yearns for Lance.

Quick brushes of hands, stories of his family, his compassion and support when Keith would feel like collapsing in on himself after a rough assignment with the Blade. His overall being, which has now collected in his own imagination when he lies in bed, or in a tent in a galaxy far from Earth, where Lance is next to him, holding his hand and simply existing.

Keith doesn’t think he’s wanted something more in his life.

Like water rushing his veins, he comes back to Lance snapping his fingers in his face, his own way, way too close as he leans forward on the McClain’s sofa. It almost looks like his Altean marks are sparkling.

“Universe to Keith.”

Keith blinks several times, trying to right himself. He pushes his hand out of the way, “The snapping is unnecessary.”

“It is when you’re in LaLa Land,” Lance says, going back to swigging his beer back. “You weren’t even listening to me about Veronica!”

“Right, sorry,” he apologizes, “Long mission.”

“S’okay, I figured,” Lance is always understanding and empathetic when Keith visits the farm. He has his mother make the best soup Keith has ever had in his life, next to Hunk’s own, and gets a guestroom set for him and Kosmo, who is already napping upstairs. He puts a warm hand on Keith’s shoulder, and of course electricity rushes down his arm, sparking in his fingertips. “We can just watch NASA and make fun of them if you want.”

Keith smiles softly. Shiro’s always been the brother he’s needed growing up, the shoulder to lean on, the support he desperately craved. Lance is his own brand of supportive. Carefree and funny and kind. He’s like gold, rare and sought after by hundreds. “I’m okay. Tell me about Veronica.”

“Well, Veronica became an instructor at the Garrison. Took over for Iverson and stuff, so I think the mental health of the cadet’s is gonna be a bit better.”

“Oh, thank the universe,” Keith says, “I hated that man.”

“I figured, hotshot,” Lance jokes, “Wasn’t hard to miss when you tried punching him one time during class.”

Keith turns, only the slightest bit ashamed, “You were there for that?”

Lance flicks him on the head, Keith recoiling and glaring back, “I was in your class, stupid! Geez, I’m still so annoyed you don’t remember me.”

Keith rolls his eyes. “I’m not apologizing for not remembering some of the worst years of my life.”

“The Garrison wasn’t awful,” Lance sets his arms on the back of the couch, fingers brushing Keith’s shoulder. “I mean, Veronica actually wants me to come…join her?”

Keith lurches forward, gaping. “Really? Lance, that’s amazing!” Because from what Keith knows from visits and friends, Lance hasn’t stepped foot anywhere related to space in over a year. Hasn’t gone to the Garrison at all, according to Shiro. Hasn’t had any interest in going to space again, according to everyone else.

“Yeah, as an instructor,” Lance chuckles. “Can you imagine, me? Instructing?”

Yes, Keith thought, Absolutely. And he’d be amazing at it. Because, sure, Keith gave him a hard time back in the Voltron days on his piloting skills, and for some odd reason, Lance showcased some sort of desire to outshine Keith in flying, but he was good. Keith may have been the best pilot, and flew like he breathed, but Lance flew with passion, with pure heart.

Before Keith can voice Lance’s acclaim, his strengths, Lance sighs and shakes his head. He brings his hands to his knees and squeezes them under his jeans. It’s almost like a cloud washes over the living room, and it’s darker. Sadder.

“I dunno if I’m ready for anything…space-related,” Lance says. “With Allura…I dunno. I’m still…y’know?”

Yeah, Keith knows. It’s been a year and a half since the war ended, and Allura left them, left Lance, behind. He knows Lance still holds a torch for her, who doesn’t? He spends his time telling her stories to aliens and humans alike. He nods stiffly, looking down at his own beer before putting it on the coaster sitting on the long table in front of him.

“Yeah, I know.”

Lance takes a drink from his bottle, “Right.”

Right. Keith holds in a long exhale, swallowing instead and pushing himself off the sofa.

“I gotta go outside for a sec,” he says, his mind wandering and his chest constricting.

“What?” Lance sits up, sniffling. “What’s wrong? Um, do you need me to come with you?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Keith snaps, and he hates it. He hates that it burns off his tongue and how bitter the taste of it is. He walks towards the foyer and turns to look at Lance remorsefully. Lance looks downtrodden and confused, standing up after Keith, because he’s compassionate like that. Because he cares about him. Keith swallows and turns away, then softly says, “I just need to be alone.”

“Oh,” Lance frowns, “Okay.”

He closes the door behind him, and steps off the porch, crossing his arms and just breathes.

Deep, deep breaths, because he will not cry, he will not scream up to the clouds covering the stars he knows shine behind them. He will not break down in front of the hundreds of pink flowers covering the green in front of him, which still gleam in the dark of night.

He hates this so much.

To be with Lance is to imagine myths and legends. Like the juniberry flowers that cover his front lawn, to be in love with him is to wilt and decay eventually. Because, and Keith will attest to it, Allura will always be in his heart. Even if his feelings were to be reciprocated, if ever, he’d always be second best.

Keith never tolerated being second to anything.

He wipes his glove-covered hands down his face, trying to drag the stress with them. His chest constricts and it hurts. He never asked for this, and he remembers telling Shiro that once he figured out he’d fallen in love with Lance after too many recollections of their time together in Voltron, Lance’s support, the fucking abyss that showed the wisps of his past and future; of a scrawny boy with short brown hair standing up to Keith’s bullies, of a taller boy with looking out to the sea with a ring on his finger, slowly turning towards Keith before blinking out of existence, too scarce to tell who it was but Keith knows now it was Lance. It was always Lance.

“Ugh,” he finally voices, fingers grasping onto his leather jacket. “I’m such a dipshit.”

He knew how Lance felt about Allura. And frankly, Keith knows how Lance feels about him: a guy that runs away from his friends, his feelings. It sweats off his body, out of his pores; it’s not like he hides his traits well.

“Keith?”

Because of course he’d follow after him, even when he asked to be alone. That’s Lance, after all. He turns around as the wind whisps at his longer hair. Under the porch light, Lance’s skin twinkles like gold.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Keith chokes out. He curses at himself, emotion wrapping around his throat. He sniffs, rubbing at his nose. “Fantastic.”

Lance is silent for a moment, watching him, contemplating. He tilts his head and looks on sadly, before opening the door behind him. “Come back inside. I’ll grab your 80’s movie pack and make some hot chocolate.”

Keith crosses his arms, looking away, because he can’t look at Lance under a spotlight as if he’s some…some celestial being. His hair even falls into his eyes handsomely when he looks at him, waiting, and Keith doesn’t want to fall any farther than he already has. He needs to reverse these feelings, in anything. Slam on the control shift and buck his ship out of here.

But Lance is like the Sun, and Keith succumbs to him like gravity.

After a sigh, he walks back up to the porch, up to Lance, who closes the distance and brings Keith into a tight hug. He wraps his lengthy arms around him and pulls him in close. Keith’s eyes widen, shocked and overwhelmed with the feeling and the scent of Lance, until his nose tickles against Lance’s soft skin and suddenly he’s calm again. He breathes in deep and wraps his own arms around him, turning his face into a steady shoulder.

At least Keith has this.

#klance #fanfiction #voltron #xxmine #yo...i did it i'm that deep i finally.....did it #btw. post canon so like. lance has his marks if that bothers you!!!!! sorry #otp: we had a bonding moment

[volleyball-dontknowher]

hsksjsjss can i get an emergency request? i had a super shitty week and i just kinda wanna get sucked into the earth for a while. can i have some loving kenma fluff, like he's comforting his s/o who's SUPER insecure about how they look and think they're not pretty enough for him? (you can include some nsfw too, 'cause who isn't horny when they're sad?)

Hello lovey!! I am so so so so so sorry to hear you have had a bad week, I hope that things get better for you, and if you need someone to talk to or someone to send you too many pictures of their dog I am here for you any time!! I did include a couple of things I do when I get insecure and I hope that you like it <3 and always know I love you and I think you are so beautiful and absolutely sexy as shit (in a non-harrassing way, I love you) 

Insecure 

Words: 2.1k 

Warnings: Some NSFW and fluff

You knew that Kenma had an internet following, and a passionate one at that, you knew that he had millions of fans who would swoon over his every action and you had to know that because well, he was your boyfriend

What you didn’t know was that other people would make fun of the things that you were already insecure about 

You hated how you looked and couldn’t stand the thought that others did too, you found yourself obsessing about your appearance and trying all of the dumb things to make you feel prettier even though you knew that none of it would work

Most days you could get over it and brush it aside for the sake of your mental health as well as the sake of your relationship, but this week had been so stressful and so shitty that everything had been building on top of each other causing even looking in the mirror to be agony

You had received tons of comments pointing out how your nose wasn’t right for your face and how your smile was so uneven that it made you look like a Disney villain and you couldn't help but take it to heart because that’s what you thought about yourself anyway and these strangers were just telling you facts and helping you feel as though you were useless

You knew that Kenma was going to be working late tonight, it was a launch day and he always tried to get everything done before leaving the office even though he never liked to work later than he had to away from home, but this was good for you, that meant you didn’t have to change or try to look happy about the things that were secretly crushing your insides 

You spent the day laying in bed watching TV and scrolling through your social media’s as you compare yourself to the pretty girls that seemed to appear everywhere without any flaws, you ended up getting yourself more upset than before, as you let the tears run down your face and decided to take a break from your phone and just focus on the episode of Criminal minds that was on

This was good for you because well there wasn’t ever anyone crazy attractive on there and you were more focused on trying to solve the case before the detectives did 

You ended up just sitting there mindlessly for several episodes before you heard the door slam shut, you couldn't help but be paranoid as you jolted upright in bed, worried that someone was now breaking into your house, before you had time to react you heard Kenma’s voice call out your name, not once but three times in a panic looking for you 

You cal his name back quietly in hopes that he wouldn’t come and find you, you were wrong, of so wrong, Kenma came into the bedroom immediately and the moment he saw you his heart dropped, you were sitting there alone with tear stains down your face

This was the last thing that he ever expected to come home to and he knew that he had to say something and figure this out with you 

“Hey,” he started, looking at you with but worry, as he dropped his bag and climbed into bed with you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders as he rubbed up and down your arms and placing a quick kiss to your temples, “what’s wrong love?” he whispered, lips pressed against your hair, he was trying not to panic, but seeing you so upset makes everything in him worried

You didn’t know how to answer him, opening and closing your mouth several times in an attempt to try and get the words out, instead, your eyes started welling up again instead, you couldn't help but start crying again

Kenma had no idea what was wrong and didn’t want to upset you more, “Y/N, I love you, and I know we can get through this together. You are so kind, and intelligent, and sweet, and loving and beautiful, I love you more than anything.” he said, which felt uncharacteristically unlike him, but everything he said was the truth, he really did love you with everything he had

Instead of calming you down it only made you cry harder, “I’m not pretty,” you choked out between sobs

Kenma had never disagreed with anything more in his entire life, “Y/n, how could you say that?” he questioned, pulling you closer to him

“I’m ugly, my face, my body, my weight, my everything, it’s ugly,” you cried out. This time Kenma was the one opening and closing his mouth, he had no idea why or how you felt this way and he just wanted to make you feel better and that didn’t work, he couldn’t imagine what made you feel this way, “I’m fat and I hate my face and I don’t know why you are with someone that is as ugly as me,” you continued on your tangent, unable to stop yourself 

This was the last straw, Kena pushed you down onto the bed and laid on top of you, pinning you down with his hips, “Y/n, I am with you because I love you, because I think you are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever set my eyes on. If you could only see yourself through my eyes then you’d see nothing but beauty and you would find yourself too gorgeous for me. I can’t imagine looking so beautiful and not seeing it, you are stunning Y/n and I want you to know that when I call you pretty I mean it with everything in my heart. You know me, and you know that I don’t lie, there’s no reason to and I could never exaggerate your beauty because there is just so much of it.” he says, never breaking eye contact with you. When he is done, he leans down and kisses your forehead, “You’re beautiful here,” then he kisses your temple, “you’re beautiful here too” then he kisses your nose, “you’re beautiful here too,” he murmurs as he goes to do the same to each of your cheeks

“Stoooop Kenma,” you try pushing him off of you but he just smacks your hands away

“Y/n, you are beautiful everywhere and if you don’t see if then I am going to show it to you,” he gives you a mischievous little smile before kissing your lips lightly and moving down to kiss your jaw and your neck, “You are gorgeous.” “You are stunning.” “I love you.” He continues as he kisses down your body, his hands roaming up your shirt as he slowly pulls it off of you

His lips make contact with one breast, then the other, gently licking and sucking on the delicate flesh, making you moan out his name

Kenma had the tiniest smile on his face as he continued kissing down your sensitive skin as he praised every part of your body, telling you all of the things he loves about you 

When he reached your waistband you couldn’t help but shiver as he left open mouth kisses on your hips as his cold fingers slipped down inside the elastic and slowly pulled them off of you, his eyes glancing back up at you, pupils blown wide as he continued kissing down your hips and stopped right before your panties, he toyed with the fabric before looking up at you and sliding them off

“Fuck” he panted as he saw how exposed you are, “beautiful” 

He began kissing down your hips and placing gentle little bites along your thighs, scattering little marks as his eyes stayed focused upon you, never once breaking eye contact 

His head slowly shifted down between your legs as he licked one slow stripe up your throbbing core

You let out a breathy moan as your fingers went to his hair and pulled gently 

“Fuck, you’re so fuck,” he moaned before going back to licking your dripping core, after a few long strokes his tongue wrapped around your clit and began flicking it quickly as his fingers began stroking your heated core before pushing two completely inside of you and curling them perfectly to hit the best spots inside of you 

A whiny moan left your lips as you tried to raise your hips closer to Kenma but he wasn’t having it, he pushed your hips right back down, “don’t shy away from me, let me enjoy you,” he moaned before pulling his fingers out and replacing them with his tongue, his arms wrapping around your thighs and pulling you closer

You couldn’t help but let out a long needy moan as his tongue pulsed in and out of you, licking up all of your wetness as his fingers went to your clit and began expertly rubbing circles into it 

Your hands were tugging Kenma’s hair as he switched back and forth from long deep licks to quick and shallow ones, as he held you close to his face enjoying your juices smearing down his face

 Quickly your orgasm approached as Kenma replaced his tongue with his fingers and began driving three into your desperate hole as his mouth and nose pushed into your desperate clit, giving it the stimulation you needed as he hummed lightly, sending vibrations straight to your clit 

You were a moaning mess at this point and couldn’t help but whine as he perfectly hit all of the spots inside of you as you felt yourself come undone beneath him, moaning his name as he continued to lick and suck you clean 

When he was finished licking every part of you clean he slowly pulled back up your panties before laying down next to you 

“I love you,” he whispered before pulling you on top of him, “every single part of you,” he starts, looking straight into your eyes, “you are my dream, when I would dream at night I always imagined a girl just like you, I want nothing else, you are perfect,” he sighed before kissing the top of your head

You couldn’t help but start tearing up at his kind words, “Kenma-” you started

“Shh, no but’s no if’s nothing, you are gorgeous, and I love you,” he coos as he rubs your hair, “if you ever think anything like that again, tell me, right away, okay baby, I’m gonna make you see just how beautiful you are.” he smiles before cupping your cheek in his hand and placing a quick kiss on your lips

You lay there for a while before he nudges you off of him and starts rummaging through your clothes 

He pulls out an outfit for you and smiles weakly at you, “you tried this on and loved it, now you should wear it out to dinner,” he stated, smiling even bigger

You instinctively shook your head no, “Kenma, I can’t wear that out,” you stammer

“Why not?” he questions, “It looks amazing on you.” 

“Kenma bab-”

“Kenma what?” he sasses you, “when you tried it on you were glowing, now put it on and let’s go get Thai, okay?” he smiled at you

You couldn’t help but feel giddy putting the outfit on, you secretly did love how it looked on you, you just got nervous about what others would think about you in it but every time you would glance around nervously at dinner Kenma grabbed your hand and said one word, “beautiful” 

He even went as far as taking cute pictures of you for your Instagram and smiling at you, telling you how good you looked after every single one, not only did Kenma make you feel amazing, but he also took the most gorgeous pictures of you that you’ve ever seen, he kept smiling at you and telling you his favorite part of each picture as he scrolled, one he would complement your smile and the next he would complement your beautiful eyes, then your gorgeous pose and when you got blushy he just shrugged and sent you the pictures telling you that he said what he meant and that you really are that pretty 

He even let the two of you get some cuteeee pictures together which is rare for Kenma because he prefers to not take pictures at all, but you two got the best pictures together and it ended up being both of your new screensavers, and every time you saw Kenma open his phone to a picture of you he always gave it a little smile and a pause before going on to do whatever it was he needed his phone for

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu kenma #kenma #kenma kozume #kenma headcanons #kenma imagine #hq kenma #kenma fluff #kenma x reader #kenma x you #kenma x y/n #kenma kozume x reader #kenma kozume nekoma #nekoma kenma kozume #kenma kozume fluff #kenma nekoma #nekoma #nekoma imagine #nekoma headcanons #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu reader insert #haikyuu kenma fluff #kenma is actually really sweet #emergency request

[xxrat--punkxx]

JUMPING ON THIS BAND WAGGON

Ok here’s my 2020, tw//mentions of suicide and abuse

(Strong start lmao) 2020 sucked ass lemmi tell ya. This year was a fucking train wreck from the start, ur hay I got character development so who cares. Well let’s start with a review, bad things first.

Yall remember when everyone was scared shields of COVID?. Lol. But that’s stating the obvious. When we went into lockdown I was first like fuck yeah summer lol, but then the threat of ‘staying home for the rest of the year’ set in, bing in my first year of sixth form I really understand the stakes of exams next year. So having to stay home for the rest of the year freaked me the fuck out. I literally couldent cope, having to do all classes online was fucking hell, they were never zoom classes either, just ‘lmao do the work and hand it in’ which was near impossible for me. I was also in the constant ‘oh no I’m so stressed but I will do NOTHING about this lmao~’. As the days turned to weeks and inevitably MONTHS, my mental health said buckle up bitches. Days were spent sitting in my room on my phone doing NOTHING, meanwhile this perpetual notion of stress played in my head yet there I sat not having the will or motion to move.

Then my parents got involved. Now THATS when shit went from pretty crummy to awful, now I was living with them constantly I was able to see who they really were with no real filter. And oh god do I have issues, I didn’t even fucking know. Every day was an argument, my mom was the worst, the MANIPULATION, the constant ‘you're tearing this family apart’ or ‘so I’m the problem?’ Or the fucking indecent playing the victim. And I all only just realised, that they have been doing this ALL MY LIFE. Dad got involved but he was just physically violent, only twice tho. The worst part was my work, admittedly yes, I didn’t do everything I was given, but I tried, I really did with what little motivation I had. But with just one ‘oh your daughter hasn’t handed in this work’ I was a ‘lazy, good for nothing failure’ to quote ‘who will never go anywhere in life’ so I’d spend the rest of the day crying while they play the victim bury saupying I was abusing their love and just using them for money. But the next day be like ‘oh I’m so proud of you you're doing so well’ having that statement being completely unrelated to the previous events. This was constant. So that’s that story. I won’t talk much about Black Lives Matter because we all know about how that went. But it really affected me, I found myself crying over the victims multiple times. And the lack of support for the movement my peers or family showed made it fucking worse. Crying was a common occurrence for me now, mental health really taking a nosedive, being too scared to call myself ‘depressed’ or ‘mentally ill’ to any extent because I know I’m faking it and just want validation. That was also constant. Fun times huh.

BUT IT GETS WORSE 🥲, then I had to go back to school, awful to fucking abhorrent now. Year two of sixth form fun right? Sure, if u take away the ‘no free time period’ or the wanting to kill mystery for literally a whole 3 weeks. That was my lowest peak. Ever. I’ve never wanted to kill myself before then, don’t like that feeling. Shocker huh. That mixed with the constant anxiety of nothing is right anymore and also needing to succeed at school all made one healthy dose of ‘.exe has stopped working’ juice. Yet I played the fool, acting happy as if nothing had happened, or was happening at least, and venting by imagining scenes in my head with fictional characters lmao. Telling myself ’u can’t kill yourself because u don’t deserve too and ur just asking for attraction’. Then midterms happened blah blah blah, stress but I’m numb to it now that whole story.

But that’s not to say there wasn’t a silver lining.

Onto the good things finally, yes the year was probably one of the worst years I’ve been through in my life it did not go without its positives. For example early this year I got into borderlands properly, I finally explored the fandom and had a look at what it was like. Albeit a slow process considering I was still predominantly on Instagram at the time, and finding a community of a fandom on there is impossible. I started browsing Pinterest or the Internet for images that would link to my favourite characters, Who were to no ones surprise is the calypso twins. Pinterest led me to artworks and artworks led me to the infamous Lazulizard. Who I cherish all my being. Three weeks later after looking at her entire tumblr blog and stalking her of pretty much all her content (sorry for that by the way) I found border-spam. By this point I didn’t have tumblr and I had no intention of getting it seeing as an ongoing war I’ve had with myself since 2012, declaring I will be the bigger man and never get tumblr, which in hindsight was an awful mindset. Seeing as tumblr is probably one of my favourite places on Earth right now. But after also stalking border spams account, again sorry, and starving her of any content she’d ever posted. I was happy that this fandom although as niche as it is was actually getting content. At the time spam and lazu were absolute gods to me. Being the sole producer of a fandom I probably wasn’t even in properly, having both impeccable writing and impeccable art like good God. I would often think ‘wow wouldn’t it be incredible if I actually got to talk to them one day’, now look at me I’m doing commissions for both of them good God. And to be short joining tumblr felt like a fever dream and it’s probably the greatest thing I could’ve done this year, my parents are wrong, talking to strangers is amazing.

Something notable of mention this year as I actually got to figure out who I am as a person, I was able to find my own style and to find my interests, specifically in what I liked in terms of clothing. I thought I was LOL 2012 goth hipster but no apparently I’m manic Pixie dream girl. Going from pink is the ugliest colour in the world to having it be the only colour I will ever wear. I made some pretty big choices this year like cutting pretty much all of my hair off and dying it for the first time. Thanks strict parents for only letting me do that one now. But like I said I went to a character Ark and you know what I like it. I also played BioShock fallout and horizon zero dawn for the first time this year starting to really feel like a proper epic gamer, good lord kill me, and falling in love with all of them almost immediately. I also figured out on a plant mum and I’m into vulture culture although my parents have to disagree with that one. Asking to buy an Horse and fox skull somehow scared them a little bit can’t seem to figure out why lmao.

So a conclusion, Fuck you 2020 you made me miss two comic cons and I will never forgive you for that shit I am SO mad. But I will give you the benefit of the doubt you did make me meet some absolutely incredible people who I consider my friends, despite going against every single Internet safety law I was ever taught as a child. But you know what who gives a flying shit I love you guys. So that’s what I wanted to say. I want to say thank you to everyone on here and everyone is following me or even interacted me with on that matter. You mean the world to me and I really fucking mean it. Are you going to be nothing but amazing ever since I walked onto this fucking hell hole. And what I go through all of this bullshit again if it means I ended up here? You know what I think I just might. So again I thank you and I hope your year didn’t go as badly as mine, and fuck it bring on whatever the fucks next!

Honourable mention of this year was The time Elisa actually complimented me and I cried a little bit and had a panic attack but you know that’s for another day

🥺💕

#I literally drew nothing this year #like this is all of it lmao #I didn’t post a lot of this stuff because hmmm #but omfg my evolution of tyreen art lmao #that one in January was the first time I ever drew her #I literally got into borderlands in January snd now look at me #consistent style who? #actually a lot of this is collage work huh #that digital December is a surprise #I’m nearly finished just gotta do effects #but my productivity said 📉📉📉📉📉 #yeah I used to draw angel a LOT as well lol #borderlands #troy calypso #tyreen calypso #lilith the siren #my art #ocs #kiatei #rhys the company man #patricia tannis #angel the siren #uhhhhh #2020 summary #tw mention of abuse #tw mention if suicide #long post

[hearthandhomemagick]

Cottage Witch Journal Entry - New Beginnings in Imbolc

It’s all an internal process. 

Imagine a tiny version of yourself, sitting in an empty, maybe even run-down room. You are surrounded by four blank walls and no décor. You have supplies and tools and options for how you fabricate this room, it is ultimately your choice on how you shape it. You can change it, you can adjust and repaint it, and you can even tear down certain walls, or build new ones with doors. All in all, this room is your choice and responsibility to maintain. 

The catch, though, is that this room is your responsibility and yours alone for the rest of your life on Earth. So, you can literally do whatever the fuck you want with this room, including private parties, public parties, etc. But you own it.

Now, imagine, if you could, inviting someone into your room. This is risky, but some are more comfortable with company in their room than others. A person comes and goes, leaving a sticker on your wall. Another person takes some flowers from your garden. Someone shows you a new section of your home you’ve never thought could exist. And another takes you to a place you wish you never knew existed. And then there will always be that one. The destructive, hard hitting and absolutely draining person who comes and takes everything you have before trashing the place and leaving you in shambles and surrounded by fire.

Addendum, imagine you isolate in your room, and are surrounded by so much beauty and art that you have curated. The room has always been one shape, but you’re comfortable and choose not to let others in. You have a bunch of internal thoughts and personality included in this room, but you are also haunted by the thoughts that never grow past their negative connotations. And when you look in the mirror, that shadow seems to hover around you as if it were an old friend. You make your own choices and own independence, but at the cost of lack of growth and understanding of others experiences. You eventually get used to the frozen feeling suffocating you in this room.

I bring this all up for it applies to the conversation at hand. 

Your entire life is completely shaped by your experiences, how open you are to influence, and how you process your experiences. I notice a lot of people, more recently, allowing a massive amount of people to influence the way their internal room is shaped and decorated. Example, when I was going home one night from karaoke, after having a rough night and not having a lot of fun, I decided to sing as loud as possible in my car so I could start feeling better. I get to a stop light and immediately feel this gut feeling of “you’re being watched.” I look over and the driver next to me had been laughing and recording me the entire time. I gave him the “wtf” look and sped off. That one person hurt me so bad in that moment that for well over a year I didn’t sing in my car or anyone else’s car. I had convinced myself that everyone was watching me from that point onward, and got sketched out doing something that provided me a sense of release and therapy. I allowed someone else to alter and change my room. From then on I started just trying to “blend in” and get by in society without people noticing or pointing me out to make fun of me and my flaws. But that’s not a way to live.

I shouldn’t live under the influence of other peoples realities. Of course, I am responsible when my actions affect someone’s reality, but to act is if we know what’s right for a person is ridiculous. This is where people start living for other people, including myself. There’s always a healthy amount of interaction to have with people, though, so as to be completely aware that they are living a life just as detailed and intricate as our own. Seeing others perspectives could lead us to something wonderfully amazing, so long as those perspective don’t dictate our own.

Ultimately, everyone is on their own spiritual journey so unique to their situation that it’s hard to figure out what is truly the right way to “live”. It’s easy for any of us to say, “This works! You should do this!” and it comes from a good place. We want to share our experiences with people so they may not have to endure the same thing. 

Here’s the deal, it may have worked for you, but it may not work for someone else. Your way of living is your own. Your wisdoms come from a place of history in your own life, and it is your responsibility to navigate your morals from a personal stand point, an understanding of others perspectives, and a logical stand point. It is NOT your responsibility to form another persons life, opinion, choices or spiritual journey. That’s all personal, Darling. 

Now think of this, when you offer advice to someone that worked out for you and they get excited to use it, only to find out it didn’t work at all for their own situation. At that point, it is just as much your fault the situation failed as much as it is the person who took your advice in the first place. Sometimes, it’s better to wait to give advice until it is asked, and then ask yourself whether your input is necessary or would offer a sustainable difference in the other persons life. 

Ultimately, everyone’s choice is their own, and when you pressure someone to choose what you would typically choose, you take away their freedom and power. This is where the balance of your life and it’s experiences come in. Learning to balance external and internal experiences and how they affect you/how you are receptive to them can be extremely complicated. This is especially so for people who simply don’t wish to reflect on themselves, because they feel as though the world has wronged them in some way or that the rose colored glasses are more favorable than the reality they must face. 

That’s not my Spiritual Journey, though. In the end, their eyes look back at them in the mirror and reflect reality. And, in time, they will understand lessons they didn’t before, but it’s not my responsibility to teach them those lessons. Again, it’s their journey, not my own. They have to want to know, want to learn and want to grow. 

I say all of this to simply throw out there some food for thought. Are you truly responsible for yourself, or are you pushing blame on others? Now, that’s not me saying, “It’s your fault this happened.” but rather me asking if you are being responsible for yourself after what you experience? You have every right to feel whatever you feel, especially if you are hurt. But you will only ever feel that feeling if you are not willing to heal and move forward. Ultimately, it is your choice, and it’s okay to take that route if you feel it is justified. But you are responsible for your feelings, no one else has power over that unless you give them that power.

I guess what I’m trying to say here is that no one can be responsible for your bedroom except for you. And you have to be gentle with yourself in the process, otherwise you put more pressure and damage on your room.

Balance is key, even when we have extreme moments in life. If we give ourselves margin to grow, space to breathe, capacity to listen, and time to slow down, life becomes easier to manage. When you get caught in the current of a river, they say to relax so you don’t lose energy. When you flow with the current, rather than against it, you prevent yourself from drowning and have an easier chance at grabbing something to stop you and slow you down. It’s a survival tactic, and a great one for your mental health. Then again, is it even my place to tell the fighters to stop fighting? Who knows, truly. Complicated Concepts.

I simply wanted to open these thoughts and elucidations, and hope someone can read this and offer conversation or dialogue so we can talk about these concepts. I appreciate all of you and hope you have a wonderful day!

Happy Imbolc!!!

#philiosophy #witch #witchcraft #journal #journaling #cottagewitch #balance #spirituality #understanding #mentalhealth #dialogue #foodforthought #newbeginnings #imbolc #conversation #bedroom #simile #metaphor #literature #communication #healing #concept #energy #love #selflove #selfawareness #responsible #responsibility #survival #awareness

[nerdzzone]

Light After Dark: Chapter Five

Summary: Brooke Harris was trying her best to be grateful. As the world tackled the COVID-19 pandemic, she was healthy and safe and so was the rest of her family, but her dreams had very quickly been crushed by the economic fallout. Trapped on the quaint island of Jersey with nothing, but free time to wallow in her mistakes, Brooke’s mental health was taking a hit, but when she collides with a handsome stranger she starts to realize that the future might not be so bleak and there might still be a light at the end of the tunnel.

Pairing: Henry Cavill x OFC

A/N: Any names or info about Henry’s family is completely made up and all the gifs I found on google (feel free to contact me for credit if they’re yours!). I would love to hear any feedback on the story so far! :)

______________

May. 5. 2020

"Mum!" I shouted from the kitchen as I admired my creation on the counter. "Where exactly do the Cavills live?"

I heard brief footsteps before my mother's head popped into the kitchen.

"Oh, wow, Brookie," She gasped. "That looks incredible!"

I grinned proudly at the beautiful cake on the counter. It was three tiered and designed to look like Superman. The top being his head, the middle being his torso and the bottom being his bottom half. Complete with cape, curl on his forehead and Superman logo all made out of fondant icing.

"Thank you. Do you think I could walk it over or would I need to take the car?"

"Hm, walking might be safest," She mused as she grabbed her phone off the counter to take a picture. "It's not far and I can come with you if you don't mind. I wouldn't mind saying hello to Marianne."

"That would be great. I'd feel better having someone else to help support it."

"Perfect!" She nodded. "Honestly, darling, this is magnificent. The detail is amazing."

"Thanks," I smiled. "I just need to change quickly and we can go."

She didn't answer as she was so wrapped up in photographing my work so I scurried off up to my room, buzzing with excitement.

****

May was always a tricky time for choosing how to dress. It wasn't overly warm, only about fifteen degrees, but the cool weather we'd had the week before made it seem a lot warmer than it actually was. Carrying the cake would be tricky and I didn't want to show up to Henry's house all sweaty and gross, but I also didn't want to show up dressed for the middle of summer and have him think I was insane.

I groaned as I tossed another shirt disapprovingly onto my bed and heard a giggle from the door.

"Are you struggling?" Cassie teased as she moved into the room and sat on the bed. "It looks like a hurricane has been through here."

"I don't know what to wear," I whined. "I've not seen him in person since we've started talking, I want to make a good impression."

"You're just dropping off a cake, Brooke, you're not even going on a date."

Her statement was intended to calm me down and take the pressure off a bit, but it did the opposite. My cheeks heated up and I suddenly felt incredibly silly.

"I know," I bit my lip as nervous anxiety bubbled in my chest. "I'm blowing it out of proportion, aren't I?"

"A little bit," She nodded. "It's nothing to stress about, hun."

"Was I stupid for making the cake at all?" I asked, "Is it too much?"

"What?" Cassie's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Why on earth would it be too much? That wasn't what I meant at all. I just meant that you don't need to get yourself all worked up over something silly like what to wear."

"It's just weird," I groaned, dragging myself away from my closet to sit on the bed next to her. "We've been talking for almost a month now, but it's hard to figure out where we stand when we can't actually see each other in person. I don't want to overstep if maybe I've read the signals wrong."

"Okay, well, first of all, he asked you to make him a cake so even if he only asked you because he knows you're a baker and he wants a really nice birthday cake then you're still not overstepping," She reminded me. "And second of all, I've seen your conversations. He likes you. He'll be just as excited to see you again as you are to see him."

"Do you think so? I mean, I think we're flirting, but I'm notoriously bad at reading the signs and he's fucking Superman for god's sake, why would he want to flirt with me?"

"Because you, my darling sister, are hot," Cassie smirked. "And you're funny and sweet and thoughtful. You're a total catch and even if he is Superman, he's the lucky one in this equation."

I couldn't help, but smile at her kind words, knowing she meant every one of them.

"Thanks Cass," I said softly, feeling some of the nerves in my stomach dissipate slightly. "I just don't want to get ahead of myself. It's fun talking to him, but it's hard when you can't actually meet face to face."

"Well, from all the giggling that comes out of this room when you're talking to him on the phone, I would say that you have nothing to worry about," She assured me before standing from my bed and heading to my closet. "Now, let's find you something to wear."

By the time Cassie was done styling me I was wearing a long black sleeve shirt under short style overalls. It was a good mix of warm, but cool for a sunny spring day.

"Are you sure I don't look like I'm dressed up as a farm girl?"

Cassie giggled at my question, but shook her head.

"No, you look adorable," She insisted. "And it shows off your legs. You have great legs."

I looked down at them in the mirror and thought they looked pretty average, but I took her word for it, thanked her and headed back downstairs to meet my mum.

"I thought you said 'quickly'," She scoffed as I walked back into the room. "You've been gone almost half an hour."

"That is quick when you're getting ready to see the man you've fallen in love with."

I spun around to scowl at my dad who'd appeared by the kitchen door.

"I'm not in love with him," I argued. "We're just friends."

"Quite the extravagant cake to make for a friend," He teased. "You've never made me anything like this."

"I make things for you all the time," I mumbled, letting my hair fall in front of my face to hide my red cheeks. "Just because I'm living at home again doesn't mean you need to tease me like I'm fifteen."

"You just make it too easy, Sweetheart," He grinned. "But I'm sure your boyfriend will love his cake."

I groaned as my mom smiled and scolded her husband on my behalf.

"Alright, we should get going," She told me. "If we leave it much longer we'll catch them in the middle of their supper."

She was being dramatic, it hadn't taken me that long to get changed, but I nodded and slipped my phone into my back pocket before gently lifting the cake off the counter.

****

The walk over was slow going. It should have only taken maybe ten minutes to get to the Cavill's house, but I was so terrified of dropping the cake that it took almost twice as long. Focusing on that was a good distraction though and by the time I was placing the cake stand on their doormat I felt less nervous and more excited for him to see it.

Once it was safely placed on the ground, I knocked loudly on the door and scurried back to where my mom was waiting on the other side of the porch, six feet away.

"I hope he's the one who answers the door," I thought, voicing it out loud to my mother. "Or someone might end up very confused."

She laughed quietly beside me as the door swung open and Henry was standing there only a few feet away. They say that you tend to build things up in your mind when you go without it for a while so there was part of me that had thought there was no way Henry was as handsome in person as I remembered. But he was.

My breath caught in my throat for a minute as he glanced down at the cake and then up at me with an ear to ear grin on his face.

"Happy birthday!"

"Wow, thank you so much," He chuckled. "I didn't think you'd actually make me a cake."

I dropped my jaw in an exaggerated way before rolling my eyes.

"You absolutely did," I insisted. "I was worried if we didn't get it here soon you'd come looking for it. You've mentioned it almost every day."

"Alright, I did," Henry admitted with a smirk as he picked up the cake. "But, wow, this is next level. It's amazing!"

All the commotion had drawn a crowd to the door that came into view as Henry moved the cake to a little table on the porch and set it down.

"Sue! Hello!" A woman called as she made her way outside. She was around my mother's age so I assumed she was Henry's mum. "How lovely to see you!"

"Oh, it's lovely to see you too!" My mum smiled. "Brooke said she could use some help carrying this cake over so I jumped at the chance. Isn't it awful being cooped up at home all the time?"

"Gosh, it's just terrible."

"Mum," Henry called, interrupting the little reunion as he lifted up the dome I'd used to protect the cake. "Look how amazing this is."

There was a chorus of 'wows', impressed gasps and various other praise and I felt my cheeks go red from the attention.

"Did you make this all from scratch?" Henry asked as a curly mass of brown hair flew through the door and over to the table. "Whoa, careful Alfie, don't knock it down."

Henry grabbed the boy, who looked to be about eight, gently by the shoulders to stop him from getting too close as he stared at it wide-eyed.

"That's so cool," He whispered in awe. "It looks like Superman!"

"It looks like Uncle Henry!" Another, slightly younger, boy shouted as he scurried over as well. "When Uncle Henry's in the movies!"

"I'm glad you think so! I tried my best to make it look like him," I smiled, drawing their attention away from the cake and towards me. "And yes, I did make it all from scratch. But I did wear a mask and gloves the whole time and I thoroughly sanitized the kitchen before I started so it's completely germ free. Not that I have any germs to pass on, I promise."

"What a strange time we're living in that you have to provide such a disclaimer when giving your friend a cake."

That observation came from an amused woman standing in the doorway and, as if he read my mind, Henry spoke up.

"Sorry, I should do some introductions," He realized. "Brooke, this is my mother and Father. My brother, Simon, and his wife, Louise, and their three kids, Alfie, George, and Amelia. Everyone, this is Brooke and her mother."

My mother spoke up before I did, informing him that she'd met them all before at one time or another, but once she was done I offered an awkward wave.

"Hello, everyone! It's nice to meet you all."

"I can't believe that after my brother almost broke your ankle, you made him a birthday cake," Simon smirked as he balanced his daughter on his hip. "It's not poisoned, is it?”

I giggled as Henry rolled his eyes.

"It was just as much my fault as his," I insisted. "It's just unfortunate for me that he's as solid as a brick wall."

"Sometimes those muscles do more harm than good," His mum smiled fondly, putting her hand on his shoulder. "Now, who wants cake? You'll stay for some, won't you?"

My mother leapt in before I could answer.

"Oh, that would be wonderful!”

There was a flurry of commotion as Marianne rushed off to get plates and the kids immediately started arguing over which piece of cake they wanted. I heard Henry softly clear his throat and, when he caught my eye, he nodded his head to the side. He didn't wait for me before sneaking off quietly down the stairs and I followed, but not before catching the knowing look my mother was throwing at me.

"Be careful," She warned quietly. "We're still in a pandemic and you're still vulnerable."

"I know," I assured her, biting back the urge to remind her that I wasn't a child and could look after myself. "I won't be long."

I rushed off after Henry before she could give me anymore advice or we caught anymore attention.

****

I found Henry just around the side of the house standing in quite a spectacular garden.

"Happy Birthday," I repeated with a smile, alerting him to my presence as I walked closer until I was the appropriate distance away. "Are you having a nice day?"

"I am, thank you," Henry returned my smile. "It's been as relaxing as can be expected in a house full of children, but it's been nice seeing them all try to make my day special. Until you came and upstaged everyone."

He playfully shook his head at me and I felt the nervousness fade away. He may be drop dead gorgeous, but he was the same Henry I'd been messaging.

"I didn't mean to," I insisted with a laugh. "You wouldn't shut up about the cake so I had to make it something special!"

Henry chuckled at that.

"Seriously though, I really appreciate it. Thank you very much," He grinned at me, making my cheeks heat up at his praise. "It must have taken you hours."

"It took all morning," I nodded with a smile, not admitting that I got up at just after six am to make sure I had enough time. "But it was really enjoyable actually. I haven't felt much motivation to bake fun things so it was nice having an excuse to get back into it."

"Oh, well then you're welcome."

His words were said with a smirk that made me roll my eyes, shaking my head, but just as I was about to tell him to be quiet a massive black and white ball of fur came bounding around the corner from the back of the house.

"Oh my gosh," I gasped. "Is this Cow?!"

Henry barked a laugh at that as the big dog ran around both of us in circles, his tail wagging at top speed.

"It's Kal," Henry corrected. "But yes, this is my dog. He's probably incredibly thrilled that he's getting to meet a new person for the first time in months."

I smiled and squatted down to wrap my arms around his neck.

"Awe, well, I know we're supposed to keep our distance from people's pets now too, but how could I resist you?" I cooed to the dog who danced in place while licking my face. "My goodness, you're the sweetest thing I've ever seen!"

"He is pretty great," Henry agreed, a hint of pride in his voice, but after a few more moments of me fussing over his companion he spoke again. "You know, I've always liked how Kal stole the attention away from me, but I think this might be the first time it's actually making me a tad bit jealous."

My head snapped up in his direction, worrying for just a moment that I'd actually upset him, but the soft smile on his face put me at ease. Nevertheless, I stood up, much to Kal's dismay.

"Wow, Henry, that's pretty self-centered," I teased. "I know it's your birthday, but that doesn't mean the attention needs to be on you every minute of the day."

"It doesn't? I was under the impression that was exactly what it meant."

"Nope," I shook my head. "It just means that you're one step closer to those senior discounts."

"Oh, please," Henry rolled his eyes. "Thirty-seven is really not that old."

"I was debating getting you a walking stick to go with the cake," I teased. "You know, because you might need it any day now."

Henry glared at me for a moment, but it quickly melted into a laugh.

"If I'm days away from needing a walking stick with these muscles," He paused briefly to flex his biceps which, despite making my breath catch in my throat at their size, earned an amused shake of my head. "You must already be a cripple with those weak ankles of yours."

"Oh my god, I can't believe you just did that," I laughed. "Trying to impress me again, are you?"

"I don't have to try," Henry smirked. "I can tell you're impressed."

I opened my mouth to protest, but resigned myself to a simple shrug as I crossed my arms.

"Well, yeah, okay, of course I'm impressed," I admitted with a smile. "You're sculpted like a Greek god."

"It really is mostly for practical reasons,"  He informed me, his usual humble side returning as he scratched Kal's head. "You can't wave swords around for hours without hurting yourself if you're not strong."

I cocked my head to the side suspiciously.

"I don't remember Superman using a sword."

"He didn't, but there was a lot of dangerous stunt work and did you see the suit they made me squeeze into? I had to be in top shape or it wouldn't have fit."

"Alright, that's fair," I nodded before a realization hit me. "Oh my gosh, do you even eat cake?"

Henry stared at me blankly for a moment before laughing.

"On my birthday? Of course I do!" He nodded. "I do try to keep a pretty healthy diet, but on holidays or special occasions I don't restrict myself too much."

"Thank goodness," I breathed a sigh of relief. "For a moment there I was panicking that I should have made you some kind of healthy protein cake creation instead."

He pulled a face at that suggestion, making me giggle at his over the top look of horror.

"If you're going to do cake, you have to do it right!"

"I'm glad you think so," I smiled. "Because there is a lot of sugar in that icing. It's probably about a thousand calories a slice."

I was being a bit dramatic, but it earned a full body laugh from Henry and I felt a warming in my chest at the sight. He was such a lovely person to be around. Lovely might seem like a boring description, but it fit him perfectly. He was genuine, funny, easy to tease and quick to tease back. He was constantly impressing me with how down to earth he was and he had a very calming presence that made all my anxiety melt away. He made me feel lighter.

He asked a few questions about how often I made such fancy cakes, about the different techniques involved and how I'd come up with the idea and for the first time in a few months it actually felt good to talk about my baking. I'd been really crushed by my failed attempt at opening a bakery. Sure, it wasn't really a sign of my skill or business management abilities, but opening a bakery just for it to be permanently closed a few months later was pretty defeating. It had left a bad taste in mouth in regards to baking anything that wasn't practical food.

We got lost in our conversation only pausing when a deep 'boof' came from the dog that had been circling us. He was staring in the direction of the gate so we followed his gaze and saw Henry's tiny little niece toddling towards us. A grin burst onto Henry's face, making my heart melt just a little bit.

"Hi, sweetheart," He cooed as she came over before lifting her arms to be picked up. Henry did so happily, resting her on his hip. "Did you enjoy the cake? It sure looks like you did!"

I laughed as he wiped some of the icing off of her cheek. It was all over her face as she smiled up at him and nodded. She shyly told him that it was yummy, eyeing me suspiciously the whole time.

"This is my friend, Brooke," Henry told her. "She made that cake for me. Can you say thank you?"

"Thank you..."

She still seemed wary, but I smiled in what I hoped was a reassuring manner.

"You're very welcome!" I told her. "Now, I can't remember what your Uncle Henry said your name was, can you remind me?"

"Amelia."

"It's lovely to meet you, Amelia!"

As I spoke, her mother appeared at the gate, relaxing in obvious relief when she saw Amelia in Henry's arms. She shouted over asking if we were okay with her, but Henry waved her off before turning his attention back to the child.

"Can you tell Brooke how old you are?"

She held up two chubby little fingers and I held back an 'awwe' at the sight.

"Two? Wow. Uncle Henry must seem pretty old to you then," I teased him earning a roll of his eyes when she wasn't looking. "He's thirty-seven!"

"Well, she is almost three," Henry clarified. "So she's almost as old as me really."

"No!" Amelia protested, disgust written all over her face. "I'm little!"

"You're little?" Henry gasped in mock shock. "Weren't you just telling me the other day that you're a big girl now?"

She shook her head insistently and I laughed at the pair of them.

"Don't worry, Amelia. He keeps trying to say that I'm as old as him too and I'm six whole years younger."

She giggled at that and looked up at Henry before scrunching her nose.

"You're old."

"Thanks for that," Henry laughed, shaking his head in my direction. "I'm not old, Amelia. Don't listen to her."

He tickled her tummy making her squirm and giggle in his arms. It would have been almost impossible not to laugh along with her, but once she got herself under control her face got very serious as she leaned in to whisper something in her uncle's ear.

"Oh, I'm not sure that will be possible," Henry chuckled earning a very over the top, but heart-wrenching pout from his niece. "Your birthday is a long way off, we might not all be here together by then."

From what he said, I had a rough idea of her request, but I gave Henry a questioning look, prompting him to elaborate.

"She wants to know if you would make her a birthday cake on her birthday."

"Oh, honey, I would love to make you a cake if you're still here on your birthday," I smiled. "When is it?"

She mumbled something incoherent as she rested her head on Henry's shoulder so I turned to him again for clarification.

"July twenty-ninth."

"My birthday is on August fourth," I told her. "That's pretty close together, hey? Maybe I can make a giant cake for both of us!"

Her eyes lit up at that suggestion.

"A fairy princess one?"

"Is that what you would like?" I asked as she nodded frantically. "Then it's a deal. If we're still here on you birthday, I’ll make us a giant fairy princess cake to share."

She grinned at that information and wiggled to be put down before running off through the gate under Henry's watchful eye, presumably to tell her parents the exciting news.

"What a sweetheart," I smiled. "She's adorable."

"She is and she knows it," Henry chuckled. "But she's quite quiet and calm so she tends to get overshadowed by her brothers who have an endless amount of energy. It's been hard for them having to stay home so much so they end up with most of the attention because if they're left to their own devices someone usually gets hurt."

"It must be hard not being able to go to the park and burn off all that energy."

"Exactly," Henry nodded. "But luckily the garden is fairly big so there's a lot of football and playing chase with Kal, anything that lets them blow off some steam, but Amelia doesn't like those things so I've been trying to spend some time with her too. She loves reading so we've been doing a lot of that while the boys wreck havoc."

"That's very sweet," I smiled as my heart fluttered at the thought of the giant, muscled man in front of me sitting with his tiny niece curled up in his lap as he read to her. "She must love that."

"She does and really, I do too," Henry admitted. "Don't get me wrong, I love running around with the boys, but it's nice to have those quiet moments too. It's one positive thing that's come out of this whole mess, getting to really bond with them all."

"I've felt the same with my niece," I nodded. "She's probably about the same age as Alfie and I always made an effort to see her as much as possible, but it's nice to have an excuse to be around all the time and really get to know her little personality."

"It is and honestly, I can't wait to have a family of my own," He confessed with a sheepish smile. "So it's nice to get some practice in."

A smirk slid onto my face.

"Well, after seeing you with Amelia, I'm sure you'll be a super dad."

Henry shook his head at me and sighed dramatically, but despite his incredible acting skills, he couldn't help, but laugh.

"You're hilarious," He told me, his words dripping with sarcasm as I grinned proudly at my joke. "Always have a pun ready to go, don't you?"

"They just come to me," I giggled. "It's a gift."

"If you weren't such a good baker, I'd suggest you do stand up comedy."

His words were once again laced with sarcasm, but I just smirked.

"Maybe I'll do both," I shrugged. "Maybe that was part of my downfall, there wasn't enough comedy to go along with the pastries. I should have set up an open mic."

"Ah, yes, because it's well-known that the British just love the awkwardness of amateur comedians."

"True, that might be a bit too cringey," I admitted with a wrinkle of my nose. "But I could have at least come up with some clever, play-on-word names for everything. What a missed opportunity."

"It was, especially for someone as clearly multi-talented as you."

I couldn't help, but laugh at his flat delivery, but quickly forced it into a glare.

"Alright, that's enough sarcasm out of you," I playfully scolded him. "We both know that I'm at least funnier than you and really, that's all that counts."

"I think we both actually know that it's the other way around," Henry raised an eyebrow. "Or was that another one of your jokes?"

I shook my head at his teasing, but before I could argue, Henry's brother shouted over to us.

"Henry! Brooke! If you want some cake, come get it now before George eats it all!"

A tiny voice shouted his protests at being blamed as Henry and I laughed.

"Well, it sounds like we should get back before I don't even get to try my own cake," Henry chuckled. "But thank you, Brooke. All jokes aside, I really appreciate that you put so much effort in to making me that cake."

"Don't worry about it," I assured him, feeling my stomach flutter at the genuine kindness in his eyes. "Just because we're all in lockdown, doesn't mean that you can't have a nice day. I'm glad I got to help make that happen."

Henry smiled and nodded understandingly before walking past me towards the gate. We'd stayed pretty much six feet apart the whole time we'd been talking, but he broke the rule as he walked by, brushing his hand just briefly against mine. It was subtle and fleeting, but his pinky wrapped around mine and squeezed gently.

He didn't even stop walking so as fast as it happened, it was over. Perhaps I was just feeling rather touch starved from not being near anyone but my family since our last meeting, but the brief connection left me buzzing. I'd always assumed the novels and movies that describe the electric sensation when two people touch were being dramatic, but it suddenly seemed very real. My skin felt like it was on fire and it was suddenly like my mind had gone completely blank of anything that wasn't how soft his skin felt.

Kal broke me out of my trance with a lick to my hand and I took a deep breath to get myself back down to earth. I thought to myself how embarrassing it would have been for Henry to see what an effect his simple action had on me, but when I looked up and saw him standing by the gate with a smirk on his face I was pretty sure that he was very much aware.

#Light After Dark #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill fic #henry cavill x ofc

[agoodsfpage]

“This is Morgan Winters, Barely Alive on GLNS News!” - Part 1

Hey!  Posted this here and on the forum. Those of you who know me there will know this will not be the first time I've posted the first part of a story, promised to deliver more, and then abandoned the project within, like, an hour, but trust me, guys... I'm going to finish this one this time. I can feel it in my bones.

Anyway, something about the concept of a news reporter catching a cold has been weighing on my brain for just the longest time so I bring you this first part, in which our news reporters does *not*, in fact, catch a cold yet.

There is a little bit of sneezing and illness stuff at the end, but this is mostly about setting the scene, establishing some characters. I feel like actually having some kind of plot is a nice minimal standard to achieve with storytelling, but this might be why I'm always too lazy to finish telling them. If I do fail to post the second part of this one, my next story will just be called 'woman with a cold who is sneezing' and will just be about someone, like, going to various places.

With that in mind, do feel free to remind me to pick this up if you actually really want to see where this story (kind of inevitably) ends up going.

And, excuse the poor formatting. It is not my strong suit.

"...and despite facing calls to resign, the counselor has confirmed he'll remain in his post. From GLNS, this is Morgan Winters, back to you Alex."

   Morgan yanked the earpiece out from her ear as quickly as she could, and ran a hand through her long black hair.

   "How was that?" she asked Derek, from behind the camera, who gave a simple thumbs up in response. "Good," she said. "Now get me out of here. It's fucking freezing, and these old government buildings never seem to have any heating" "We got a taxi waiting for you outside to get you back to the studio" he replied, as he rewound the footage. "Think we're going to end up back in the van, though, if you ask me. Molly just took a phone call from the boss. Suspect she's going to be looking for you any minute now"

   Morgan rolled her eyes and sighed. "Of course she is. What now? World's tallest scarecrow just collapsed? Local teen gets tongue frozen to lampost? Or are we going to interview the mayor's husband again, and hope he's sober enough to string together a full sentence this time?"

   Derek shrugged. "I don't commission 'em, Morgan, I just film 'em. You'll have to ask her." "I'll have to avoid her, more like. I'm going to the office. I have a mountain of work to catch up on. I don't have time to do some twee interview with Farmer Dan about Potatofest '22, or whatever they want from me." "You do what you want. Taxi's that way, though. Next to the van" Derek replied, smirking, pointing to the east side of the building, and not taking his eyes off of the footage.

   Morgan sighed and made her way to the city hall car park. She spied her taxi from across the road and started to walk towards it when she heard her name in an all-too-familiar and all-too-cheerful tone of voice.

   "Slow down, Morgan" Molly called out, from behind her. Morgan closed her eyes, silently cursed her luck, and turned around to face Molly, who was dressed in a garnet-red beret, that (in Morgan's humble and, admittedly, uninformed opinion) badly compliment her curly, silver-blonde hair.

   "I am so sorry, Molly, I almost forgot to wait for you," she said, forcing herself to smile. "That's alright, I'd just disappeared to make a quick phone call" Molly replied. "From the station," she said after a slightly uncomfortable pause. "Oh, they're always bothering us while we're busy. Well, I best be going, I need to get back to the--" "Could you do me a favor, Morgan?"

   Morgan gritted her teeth, her green eyes lightly glazing over as Molly carried on.

   "You see," Molly continued barely registering Morgan's expression, "the public health department just got in touch. It's that time of year when colds and such things are going around, you see. So, the department was wondering if we could send a reporter down to a local physician's to do a quick cold and flu safety report"

   Morgan shook her head. "No, Molly, no, absolutely not. I told you, I'm done with these... nothing reports. I'm a serious journalist, alright? I have a degree-- two degrees! Two degrees, I have a Bachelors in Communication, and a Masters in Media and Journalism, okay? I should be covering far more serious topics than this. Health- public health isn't even something I know anything about. Can't you ask Alice to do it?" "We did ask Alice to do it!" Molly replied. "And?" "She can't" "Why not?" "Caught a cold."

   Morgan rolled her eyes. "Well, what about Steve or Michael? They should be grateful for any work at this point, to be honest" "No, look, the department wants *you*. They've seen you! They think you have a really down-to-earth personality and a great presentation style. Perfect for delivering this kind of message."

   Morgan paused. "They asked for me?" "Yes" "...and they think I have a great presentation style?" "Absolutely" "And a down-to-earth personality?" "Yeah, maybe. Anyway, look, if you do this, there's sure to be some more work coming your way. Good work, too. Not these fluff pieces, not these interviews with outraged retirees. You get to do what you want." Morgan really thought about it. "...No more local food and culture festivals?" "No more anything, just pure you." "...Fine. Fuck you, but... fine." Morgan replied. "When do they want me?" Molly looked at her watch and looked back up at Morgan. "Half an hour ago."

--------

   It was not often that Morgan got to visit the more affluent side of town. She lived pretty far from here, and the people who did live here were wealthy enough to keep the cameras away from their neighborhood. While she wasn't thrilled about this assignment, she couldn't help but gawp at the mini-mansions, and luxury restaurants that lined the streets.

   Still, all the money and lawyers in the world couldn't keep out the common cold. Almost every face she could spot from the van, was adorned with a red nose, or a tissue pressed tightly against it. Morgan shifted uncomfortably in her seat, as she turned her head towards her phone. She was really starting to regret this.

   After a short drive, in which Molly had to negotiate with an incredibly congested toll-booth operator, the van pulled up outside the district's medical center. Derek scrambled out of the van to get the equipment ready, while Morgan and Molly went inside to meet the nurse they were going to be interviewing.

   "Hey," Morgan said approaching the receptionist at the front desk, who was busy scribbling some notes into a pad. "Morgan Winters, I'm with GLNS news. This is Molly, I was told you both spoke on the phone about an interview?"

   The receptionist looked up from her notepad and something instantly struck Morgan about her appearance. The long, wavy red hair, Morgan had already noticed from a distance. The bright blue eyes were distinctive but didn't immediately catch her notice. No, Morgan's attention was right away drawn to the sore, red rim that ran around the woman's nostrils, that was accentuated by the sudden and thick sniffle she gave.

   "One moment..." she muttered, barely managing those precious m's and n's that would have lent clarity to what she said. She casually reached over a small PA system on her desk. "Ndurse Halloway? GLNS are here" she muttered, or something to that effect, at least. Some tinny, staticky voice gave a robotic reply, and the receptionist looked back up to Morgan. "Just take a seat with the oh-others... ih-ISHIEW!"

   Morgan was grateful that the receptionist was able to grab a tissue. Still, she would have liked it all the more if the receptionist had actually managed to bring it to her nose, some time before letting out the surprising sneeze.

   "Ugh... 'scuse mbe" she mumbled, using the barely touched tissue to blow her already sore nose. "Was the last one standing up until I came in this m-mordi-ih...it'SHIEW!" she sneezed again, clearly an aftershock from the previous sneeze, but this time, thankfully, with the tissue ready to catch it.

   'Last one standing...' Morgan mentally repeated with a degree of exasperation, before directing Molly to sit beside her in the waiting room.

   "We better make this quick, alright? I'm already regretting every second of this..." she whispered to her assistant, as the woman beside her, blew her nose for the fourteenth time. "Why, what's wrong?" she asked "What do you mean, what's wrong? This place is gross. I feel gross. I want to go back to the office, where it's... I mean still gross, but less gross than this" "Oh, hush. Don't worry about it, it's just a quick interview, bit of filming of... doctor-y things, and we can do the V/O back at the studio" "I don't know how you can be so calm about this" Morgan snapped, as the man next to Molly launched into a coughing fit. Molly simply shrugged. "I'm not bothered. I had my flu shot" she said, confidently. "Do flu shots protect against colds?" asked Morgan Molly paused for a moment. "I mean, yeah, of course, they do. They're basically the same thing. Wouldn't be much point in a flu vaccine if you're just going to get a cold anyway, surely!"

   Morgan was skeptical, but before she could open her mouth to object, she heard her name called from the reception.

   "Ms. Widters?" the receptionist asked, holding a tissue to her nose as she spoke. "Ndurse Halloway will see you both dow..." she managed, before sneezing three more times into the tissue. As she pulled it away, Morgan winced at how sore and red her nose was starting to look. At that point, Morgan realized that there was nothing she could do to protect herself. From the moment she walked into the health center, she was a dead woman walking.

#snz #snz kink

[peachy-beomie]

Holding You In My Heart (Until I Can Hold You In My Arms) <KUNTEN>

Genre: Fluff

Pairings: Kunten (Qian Kun x Ten Lee)

Word Count: 1,643

Warnings: None!

Synopsis: COVID AU in which Kun sets up a bunch of cute zoom dates for him and his boyfriend.

A/N: I got bored and I really want to start working on my masterlist so I decided to post this :D

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29410125

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Join Zoom Meeting

{zoom link}

I stare quizzically at the email that pops up on my screen, interrupting my FRIENDS marathon. The message comes from none other than my boyfriend Kun, who’s been spending all of quarantine so far looking for ways for us to go on dates.

When COVID hit, Kun and I were forced to confine ourselves in our respective apartments, limiting contact. It hasn’t been too hard thus far, we call and text everyday without fail. Simple good mornings and silly pictures of my cat sufficed for the first month or so. But as the quarantine dragged on, I began missing Kun’s face more and more. We hadn’t been on a proper date in god knows how long, and it was starting to impact my mental health.

Curiosity consumes me as I click the link, awaiting whatever dorky plot Kun had conjured up. Within seconds his lopsided grin filled my screen and drew a small smile from my lips.

“Hi Sunshine!” He greets cheerfully, the familiar pet name bringing warmth to my cheeks.

“Heya baby, what’s this about?”

“Nothing, just missed you.” Kun’s tone has a hint of mischief that doesn’t go unnoticed by me. But playing along with Kun is way more fun than interrogating him.

“Mmm not as much as I missed you. You sure there’s no special reason for this?” I can see Kun’s eyes sparkling despite the low quality graphics.

“Weeeeellllllll I suppose I did want to ask if you’d want to go on a date?”

“A date? How would we do that?”

“Like this!” Kun gestures eagerly at the screen. “Through zoom! I found all kinds of fun things we can do.”

“And when would we do this?”

“I mean I’m free now…” Kun suggests, eliciting a giggle from me. Sometimes Kun’s cuteness is unbelievable.

“That works for me. What’d you have in mind baby?” Kun’s eyes sparkle mischievously.

“Wanna get your ass whooped at Mario Kart?”

“In your d r e a m s Qian.”

⏳

After that initial date, zoom dates with Kun became a frequent occurance. Kun wasn’t kidding when he said he had a lot of ideas. He set up so many dates ranging from movie nights (“You know he comes back in the next movie right?” “TOM HOLLAND IS TOO HOT TO DIE KUN.”) to a talent show consisting mostly of magic and Louis ignoring my attempts to make him do tricks. I began to look forward to each and every one of the meetings. Especially if it’s my turn to plan the date (“It’s more fun playing Just Dance against you cause you’re uncoordinated and I always win.” “Shut up.”). Dates with Kun made quarantine far more tolerable, though I still missed cuddling with Kun. The teddy bear he sent me as a replacement was a kind gesture though.

I hold it close as I watch Kun struggle to repeat the steps I taught him. A small chuckle escapes my lips, and Kun immediately turns to me with a pout.

“Don’t laugh, I think I’m doing alright.”

“Oh yeah at this pace you’ll be in level 2 hiphop in no time,” I joke, only laughing harder at the huff Kun lets out. “I wasn’t laughing at you darling, just thinking about how much I love you.” The older boy looks slightly stunned by my confession but he’s beaming from ear to ear within seconds.

“I love you too Sunshine.”

***

“It’s way too salty.”

“I told you the recipe didn’t call for a cup of salt but you wouldn’t listen!!!” I giggle at my exasperated boyfriend before putting the failed noodle dish in the sink.

“Maybe I should hire a better teacher.”

“Good luck finding someone else who’ll tolerate your bullshit like I do,” We both chuckle at that. “Are you available for another date Friday night?”

I pretend to think it over before shrugging, “I suppose I can fit you into my schedule.” Kun glares cutely at me through the screen. “What do you have planned?”

“It’s a surprise.” Kun wiggles his eyebrows for emphasis.

“Sounds mysterious.”

“Well if I recall correctly you love suspense,” Kun muses, “You in?”

“Of course.”

Kun tries to keep up his mysterious demeanor, but the way he visibly lights up at my confirmation is impossible to miss.

“Then I’ll see you in 3 days sunshine.” And with a final wink, he ends the meeting.

Cheeky fucker.

⏳

Finding the patience to wait for Kun’s surprise proved quite challenging. I couldn’t help but mull over what on earth the older man had planned. The existence of the mystery lifted my previously sour mood, but I couldn’t for the life of me solve for x while Kun’s gleeful words raced through my head.

After nearly an hour of staring at the same math question, I decide planning my outfit would be a better use of my time. Considering I have no idea what Kun is planning, I try to pick an outfit that’s casual but also pretty. I didn’t want to overdo it (it’s only a zoom date after all) but I also wanted Kun to know I tried. I tear my closet apart for about 20 minutes before settling on my favorite white tee and jeans. I also opt to do a little makeup, knowing Kun would appreciate it. Showering, makeup, and hair take up the rest of my time and before I know it, it’s time for our zoom date.

It appears I wasn’t the only one looking forward to the date because even though I logged on a whole 5 minutes early, Kun was already waiting to admit me.

“Someone’s excited.” I tease, proud of the light pink that dusts kun’s cheeks

“I’m the host, what’s your excuse?” He chuckles lightly. “You look gorgeous Sunshine.”

“Not so bad yourself,” my teasing tone barely disguises the obvious want in my voice. Cause Kun. Looks. Adorable. It’s not that he’s dressed up, not at all actually. He’s dressed somewhat similarly to me, drowning in a plain collared long sleeve. The sleeves are long enough to cover his hands, giving him sweater paws that make him appear not only soft, but tiny. His chocolate brown hair is mussed up, only adding to the overall image. To top it all off, he seems to be wearing a little bit of lip balm. I have never wanted to kiss someone so bad in my entire life.

“You frozen there lovebug?” Kun’s amused comment breaks me out of my stupor.

“Nope, just enjoying the view,” I wink nonchalantly once again relishing in the blush rising up Kun’s neck. “So what’s your plan?”

“You should be finding out in about…” He checks his watch dramatically, “5 minutes.” I could only giggle in response as I watched my boyfriend, eyes gleaming with mischief. As I may have mentioned previously: Kun is a dork. He enjoys setting up dates a lot (maybe a bit too much). He likes to come up with weird creative ideas for us to try. It’s one of the things I love most about him. And the way his gaze is flitting every which way and his legs are bouncing all over the place is a clear sign that he’s extremely proud of whatever he’s planned.

A few minutes of mindless chitchat later, I hear the doorbell ring. I give Kun a knowing look as he pretends not to know what’s going on. I open the door to see two boxes of take out from my favorite restaurant. I turn to Kun on the screen.

“You didn’t.”

“Oh, but I did sunshine.”

As I open the delicious smelling box I see that he’d gotten my favorite dish as well. He’d remembered every detail of it. A few tears escape my eyes against my will. Kun seems confused and concerned by my reaction, his beautiful features melting into a frown.

“Did I get something wrong? I swear I checked like 8 times to make sure I just--”

“No Kun it’s perfect,” I smile wetly. “You got everything right baby, I’m just really lucky to have you.” Kun nods understandingly grinning to reveal his dimple, and all of a sudden I’m hit with a wave of sadness and longing. I want nothing more than to be there with Kun, to caress his cheeks and bury my head in his chest and kiss the freckle under his brow that I love so much. I’m hit all at once with the realization that I miss being with Kun, and suddenly the tears are streaming down my cheeks. Kun stays silent, patient as always and it only makes me want to cry more.

“I miss you so fucking much,” I whisper between sobs. My vision is far too blurry to see how Kun is reacting to my outburst. “I hate this stupid quarantine, and the stupid virus, and stupid zoom. I just w-want to hug you so bad kunkun.” My voice breaks at the end of my sobs.

“Aw baby, I know. Any time we do these dates I can’t help but miss everything about you. You mean so much to me and not being able to see you has been torture. But don’t worry too much Sunshine. This is not permanent. I’m confident we’ll be able to see each other again.” Kun’s eyes are practically pouring out affection and genuineness.

“I’m sorry for ruining the date.”

“If you don’t hush right now I’m going to find a way to Zoom slap you,” Kun teased. “You have absolutely nothing to apologize for and you haven’t ruined anything. We can just eat and watch a movie together yeah?”

There on my couch, as I lost count of the hours going by with Kun’s voice in my ears: I realized that despite the unideal situation, we’d be okay.

KUNTEN PIC OF THE DAY:

#kpop #kpop fanfiction #kpop fluff #nct fanfiction #nct fluff #nct #nct 2020 #nct kun #nct ten #kun nct #ten nct #wayv #wayv fanfiction #wayv fluff #wayv kun #wayv ten #ten wayv #kun wayv #qian kun #ten lee #chittaphon leechaiyapornkul #li yongqin #kunten #kunten fanfiction

[asagi-s-garden]

It’s time for Dumb Headcanons-

For whatever reason, Kara is the one to carry her and Lena’s first born child, she can’t just vanish for almost a year without saying anything though, I mean what kind of hero would do that?

So she makes a public announcement right after officially finding out that she’s pregnant that she’s “going away for a few months on a personal journey”

Now the thing is, Lena knows her wife, she knows her very well, and she knows that her watching from the sidelines as Alex and the others keep the city safe is going to be incredibly painfull for her, so she decides to take Kara on a vacation for the first few months of pregnancy

Once they get around the second trimester they’re going to have to go into seclusion in a special fortress that Clark and Kate built for her that’s like half Fortress Of Solitude and half Batcave that’s structured to both keep enemies out, and keep Kara in, because they know their girl as well as Lena does (Alex tunes in from skype from time to time to tell them what they’ve done wrong specifically because she knows how crafty Kara is and is just “mmm nope you see that little crack in that wall right there? Yeah she could get through that, I don’t know how, but she could”) Ofcourse freinds and family are welcome to visit because it’d just be cruel otherwise but anyway

Lena knows Kara, she knows that staying cooped up in one place for 5-6 months is going to be hell enough as it is, the full extent of her pregnancy would be a NIGHTMARE, but she also is a little afraid to stay in National City during the first 3-4 months because that would equally be disasterous on Kara’s mental health, seeing shit go down and not being able to help, so she decides to take them on vacation instead, to some of the most peacefull places on Earth, like the New Zealand countryside and a small town in Switzerland and a tiny island that she may possibly own, it seems like a solid plan to begin with, until....

Proof That Lena Luthor Is Supergirl

That’s the headline that starts popping up about four days after they leave and it’s just everywhere, conspiracy theories that Lena is Supergirl because she “vanished“ at the same time that Supergirl left

Kara thinks it’s hilarious, it’s the best laugh she’s had in a week and that’s saying something considering how much time she’s spent watching cute cat videos on the private jet

They have to cut their vacation short so Lena can go back to National City every few weeks, show her face for a few days, and then leave again

Everyone starts making it into an inside joke that they have to be very carefull not to share outside of The Circle of those in the know because otherwise something might slip, Brainy in particular thinks it’s bizarre that Kara just keeps getting more pregnant everytime she comes back and yet somehow no one has tried to pin Lena’s wife, who’s pregnant, as the superhero who has to mysteriously vanish for nine months (because against her better instincts Kara does mention at the press conference that she’ll be returning in June, wich is about nine months from when she announces her departure, somehow no one has picked up on it, until they start with the Lena theory and go “AND HER WIFE IS PREGNANT AND DUE IN JUNE, COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT-” evidently they’ve decided that Lena is leaving because Kara is pregnant, wich isn’t wrong, but still somehow off)

By the time baby Kira Zor El Luthor is born (they made the conscious decision to break from the “L” tradition in Lena’s family only to end up with the “K” tradition in Kara’s completely by accident; their second born will be named Luka and Alex is going to headdesk so hard she bruises) half of National City has started to believe that Lena is Supergirl, somehow, and she and Kara- as Supergirl- have to actually appear together in public and shake hands with people to prove neither one is a hologram before anyone lets the theory die

Other less cohesive headcanons about this insanity-

-Kara insists that she take care of Kira when she wakes up in the middle of the night because to be 100% honest sleep is a luxury, not a necessity, for her- that’s not even being careless with herself, that’s just.... a legitimate fact... she doesn’t really HAVE to sleep very much as long as she’s under the yellow sun so why on earth should she deprive Lena of it???

Lena: Really, it’s ok, I’ve had a lifetime of being denied sleep so at this point I can actually function with out it :)

Kara: That.... that in absolutely no way makes me feel better...... also I have super hearing so I’ll hear her first anyway, there’s no need to wait for you to wake up..

Lena: Oh no that’s fine, I’m hypervigilant and paranoid so I’ll wake up as soon as she starts crying, no superpowers required! :)

Kara: That just makes me feel even worse?????? B-Besides I have a Kryptonian lullaby I can sing to her that works like a charm

Lena: Oh that’s so lovely, I have an old Irish lullaby my mother taught me right before she died that I can’t wait to sing to Kira as the literal only good thing that comes from my family legacy :)

Kara, near tears: ...Have I done something to you today????? ;_;

Lena: ...no?? why???

-The amount of food they go through during Kara’s pregnancy probably could have sustained a small country for atleast a month, it doesn’t seem to matter how much Lena thinks she’s stocking up ahead of time, it’s never enough and she inevitably always has to buy more the very next day, it takes the combined efforts of Barry and Kate to help keep things stocked so Lena isn’t having to constantly be leaving the Bat Fortress (it was the name Kate and Clark finally decided on and no one has the right to veto it no matter how much certain people want to) to restock, they start this Superhero Delivery Service as a Bros Being Bros type of thing, just freinds being freinds and loving their pregnant super freind so very much but after a week it turns into a ruthless competition of what, ultimately, is the better resource- speed or money, Barry has the Speed Force but Kate has every method of transportation imaginable and also drones and by the time Kira is born a rivalry has slowly simmered between them, the likes of wich goes right back to the type of “Who’s faster?” rivalry Barry has with the Supers, that probably won’t end even after they both die, Kara has mixed feelings about being the inadvertent catalyst for this but Nia thinks it’s the best thing that’s ever happened and she and Mary are placing bets

-Lena knows that Kryptonians don’t exactly have the same health issues to worry about that humans do but Kira is going to be atleast part human isn’t she? So Kara has to be willing to step up her health game wile she’s pregnant right??? Nice theory, no dice, Alex tried to warn her but Lena Luthor doesn’t lose and when she wants something she gets it................ unless that something is getting Kara to have a healthier diet, then there’s no force on any planet in any universe that can help

Lena: An apple

Kara: A dozen doughnuts

Lena: One apple

Kara:  ...Sixteen doughnuts

Lena: *gently places an apple on the table*

Kara: ....*stares intensely at the box of doughnuts, unblinking*

Lena: ....What are you doing?

Kara: I wonder if I try hard enough if I can develop telekinesis

Lena: No-

-True panic is Lena taking care of Kira at the office wile Kara is off doing the superheroing for the first time in months (nanny? nope, not in this house, the child never leaves our sight, we die like moms) and Kira starts giggling and levitates out of her bassinet wile Lena is on a conference call so her investors are met with a frantic Lena keeping her voice astoundingly level and clear wile running around the office chasing her floating baby, they mostly just get glimpses of her jacket from time to time and, if they ask, are only met with “I have a child now” and absolutely no other explanation

-For the first time since being on Earth Kara is faced with the cosmic joke that is Earth’s gravity during her late months of pregnancy because everything is wobbly and waddly and holy RAO HOW IS IT SO HARD JUST TO GET OFF OF THE FLOOR!?!?! SHE COULD FLY TWO MONTHS AGO AND NOW IT’S A MAJOR STRUGGLE TO PULL HERSELF OFF OF THE COUCH WHAT THE FUCK!?

-Kate has managed to live through four years of having actual freinds who have started to reproduce and never once has she reacted with more than marginally more interested than what she had during Crisis when Kara tried to hand Jon to her, but in those four years all of those freinds have been straight, to be fair, and there’s something a little different about seeing other lesbians with babies that’s mildly more tolerable, first it was Alex and Kelley, then it was Kara and Lena, Sophie and Mary keep cooing over the babies and Kate doesn’t really get that........ until she’s visiting Kara and an alien attacks and Kara is just “hold my baby-” and flies out the window and Kate is Stuck with a sleeping four-month-old and no ability to get to a phone without waking Kira up so she’s just kind of frozen like that for the foreseeable future and when Kara comes back Kate is laying on the couch, Kira sleeping on her chest, looking incredibly relaxed

Kate: Oh you’re back, we’ve had a lovely time

Kara: Awwwwwwwww, see? You are good with babies <3

Kate: Mmmm still going to have to disagree on that but your’s is... not... bad...

Kara: Sooooooo you’ll babysit sometime? :3

Kate: Nope, this last half hour was enough thanks

Kara: Wait until Sophie hears you lasted an entire half hour ;)

Kate: Just hold off telling her for about fifteen years or so, I don’t think we’re ready to live in a world where I can tolerate this for an entire thirty minutes yet

Kara: lol ok

Years later when she eventually ends up taking after her cousin and having a couple of orphans with her name on them she insists to Sophie that it’s Kara’s fault because “that time she made me hold her kid for half an hour did something to me I just know it”, Kara pops in one day after hearing this and just goes “You’re welcome~” before flying off again

And finally-

Kara: Lena honey I think Kira is a little too young to be getting her first suit tailored...

Lena: But she’s already a year old...???

#supercorp #supergirl #kara danvers #kara zor el #lena luthor #kate kane #barry allen #clark kent #ficlet #headcanon #not!fic