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#what im scared of the most is the pain like just thinking abt the whole ordeal is making me shiver
yearningheart · 2 years
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pepprs · 2 years
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the way i am going to need to be tranquilized and sedated to get through tomorrow. god fucking help me
#purrs#particularly from like 1:30-3:30 specifically. i do not know how i will be able to get work done. i do not know how i am going to be able to#not fucking die. i really feel like i am going to pass out. i can’t do this i really truly genuinely cannot#every time i remember. like just… there are implications of this i have not even THOUGHT OF yet. that haven’t even crossed my MIND that are#still so engrained in my life and way of thinkjng and being. and i don’t know ifim gonna make her uncomfortable or panicked or guilty by#sobbing my eyes out not to mention other people witnessing that but there is NO WAY im gonna be able to not sob hysterically. this is#legitimatelt one of the most painful things that has ever happened to me in my whole life which says something about how much pain i have#experienced as a human being and how ridiculous it is that im freaking out over this LOL. but ummmmmm. this is……. this is so bad. i think#everything after tomorrow will be very hard (because i’ll miss her terribly) but it’ll be okay because it’s like this is the reality and now#we have to just like move forward and yeah im gonna have breakdowns on here abt how i feel like we aren’t properly grieving it or whatever a#and how i want time to like cope with it and not keep movi ng at 38472974mph WHILEALSO trying to not convey panic. but it’s been this#excruciating mindfuck of a situation bc she’s still HERE. STILL USING THE ‘WE’ THE DAY BEFORE SHE LEAVES! LIKE WHAT IS GOING ONBNNN THE COGN#COGNITIVE FUCKING DISSONANCE OF IT ALL!!!!! and like seeing her and having her stuff still around and whatever is um. it’s bad. it’s really#making it hard for me to accept that this is happening. so tomorrow is it then and we will drag ourselves through it and i swear to god i#will be hysterically crying. maybe even as i walk in and see her there knowing it’s the last time. LOL. like how do i not…. omgggggggg 😍😍😍😍😍#this is so so so bad. why is this happening. not only is it embarrassing and humiliating but it’s like girl thisis an office this is work it#it’s really not that big a deal. BUT IT IS. TO US. TO ME. WHY IS SHE DOING THIS? i am about to punch the WALL. but nothing will help or make#it better until time passes or if she randomly decides not to do it. idk .i just can’t believe it. im so angry and sad and hurt and scared.#tomorrow will straight up kill me. it really actually seriously will. i don’t know how im gonna get through it. LOL#delete later
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wormswurld · 3 months
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shoutout @femcelfuneral for reminding me abt felix absolutely coming apart the second ollie starts to play with his nipples 🤤 like jesus christ the sounds that would come out of that man would be Heavenly...
like thinking abt felix n ollie playfully arguing and ollie (being the fucking weird freak he is) decides to pull on felix's nipples to ????? shut him up??? get a reaction out of him??? assert dominance?? who knows! but felix's brain just immediately shuts down like !!!! "ollie, mate, i seriously dont- nghhhhh...." and his pretty face just twists up due to the short lived pain, his mouth going all slack, eyes quickly rolling back,, and ollie just looks at him like Oh Shit I Just Discovered Something About The Both Of Us lmao
after this new found Reaction ollie likes to play with them whenever he gets the chance absolutely reveling in the power he holds over felix,, this probs leads to felix wanting to get his nips pierced 😊 yet it's too embarrassing to get them done at a tattoo shop so ollie does them instead..."you ready felix?" ollie questions, eyes quickly raking over felix's shirtless body, taking in the vastness of his his chest and the way it rises and falls. hes so cute when hes nervous. "u-uh yeah, im ready ollie" felix responded anxiously, hands fidgeting with the sheets beneath him. slowly leaning over as not to scare felix more (not that it mattered anyway) ollie positioned himself eye level with felix's nipple. with small needle in hand, ollie looked back up at felix as for confirmation before piercing his rosy colored bud.
without missing a beat, felix let out a high pitched gasp, his hands struggling to ball into a fist as he felt the the pain permeate through his warmed flesh. "fuckfuckfuck..." felix muttered, throwing his head back in pleasure as ollie swiftly slid the small metal bar into his now puffy nipple. and oh, why don't you look at that. felix is bleeding. god, piercing him was one thing, but seeing him bleed was a whole other level of arousal ollie never knew he could feel. throwing all semblance of normalcy out the window, ollie leisurely licked at the small trail of blood left from the piercing. "nghh-no ollie please..." felix begged, this causing ollie to quicken the pace of his tongue gliding over the now gone crimson colored liquid that once marked felix's skin. and that's what did it. the most guttural moan made its way out of felix's mouth, as a wet spot began to spread its way across the front of his blue boxers. with that ollie decided to stop his actions, finally getting what he truly wanted out of felix. complete power and control. in that very moment felix was his and the light sheen on blood over his lips and chin proved that.
i have no clue what the fuck came over me with this. i just started writing shit...OOPS! thank u for coming to my ted talk that turned into an unexpected oneshot lmao love yall (u can tell i had to stop myself from continuing lol its late and i need to calm tf down...) 🤗
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quirkle2 · 1 month
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oh nooo that's quite a bummer :( but i'm very glad that i helped brightening up your day :") tbh your writing brightens up my day too (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)
AND WAIT I'VE BEEN ACTUALLY QUITE THINKING ABOUT WHETHER ZOMBIE MOB HAS FOUGHT OFF A ZOMBIE WHEN I ASKED IF HE HAS EVER BITTEN SOMEONE and since you brought it up, well, would be okay to ask about the details of how it went 👁️👁️ (also him fighting off a fellow zombie to protect tome got me sobbing)
- 🪻
aww im glad my silly little words brighten ur day!! ur so sweet :]
and yes, it went horribly <3! tome prolly wasn't paying attention as closely as she should've been and got herself surrounded by a crowd. to be clear, that's not Always dangerous, since zombies arent like,, after ur brains in this constantly. but these zombies did look quite hungry, and human or not, she looked like a good meal,,
she had wandered off a bit from mob n ritsu, but mob heard the commotion first. tome has a big fucking baseball bat in this au that she likes to swing around, but a baseball bat can only get u so far in terms of self defense. she thins the horde but there's simply too many of them
mob lets exactly One zombie grab her and yank her toward them before he goes ballistic
watching zombies fight is a lot closer to watching wild animals fight than anything else, and it gets quite horrid sometimes. since their bites aren't rly "dangerous" to each other beyond the typical Oh No a Chunk of Flesh is Gone (not even painful for them, since their nerves r.. less than functional), the fight is a lot more close up and gruesome than a fight against a zombie and a human would be. humans usually back away from zombies immediately and try not to touch them at all in fear of getting bitten; zombies don't need to care abt that
most of the horde realizes that this meal isn't going to be easy and they wander off, but a few more hungry, more desperate ones try to rip into mob's throat at the first sign of defiance. it's not exactly a fair fight; it's like 1 against 4, so he's sorta bound to lose
thankfully ritsu shows up and shoots two of them down (he's Terrified of shooting mob by accident, but either way he'll probably die, so) and tome gets the last one with a good swing to the head. ritsu rushes to mob and is horrified by the amount of blood dripping from his neck and his arm; tome is equally as shocked, but she's mostly thinking, "ive Never seen a zombie defend a human before"
mob's neck is thankfully mostly just scraped up and clawed, but there Is some gruesome punctures where canines sank in and tugged. it's a lot worse along his arm that's bitten and gouged beyond belief. he loses a lot of blood here, but the whole nerves-no-longer-work thing is a blessing in disguise atm; he'd be in a lot of pain otherwise. while ritsu and tome are patching him up w shaky hands he simply glares beyond their shoulders like he thinks he's still in danger, even when they tighten the bandages. it's like he barely notices what they’re doing
his strangely alert behavior makes them think abt the possibility that maybe mob Knows he could've easily been shredded apart there, and he's a little scared and worked up abt it. the only reason he managed to fight as long as he did without dying is prolly bc the other zombies weren't as well-fed as mob—they were kinda weak and shaky from days of no food, but mob has humans taking care of him and keeping him fed 24/7
they're all shaken up by it pretty good.. tome is still reeling from the fact that mob defended her so valiantly, and ritsu is quietly horrified by the idea of another zombie killing mob instead of a human. he doesn't know which is worse
#qktalks#anon#zombie au#this isn't the first time ritsu has had to kill a zombie btw ^#this is just the first time he's had to kill one since he started seeing zombies in a different light#it was either letting his brother die or killing a zombie. ritsu's upset that he had to make that decision at all#but he's not afraid to say that the decision was incredibly easy to make#it sucks that he had to kill one but . for mob ? literally anything goes#ritsu checked tome over after they took care of mob too. tome's very surprised when he's rly gentle abt it#ritsu's been known to .. lose his head a little in moments of stress#and sometimes he snaps at tome bc of it. he never means to he's just..worked up#but this time he's kinda fretting over her and it opens her eyes a little bit#ritsu has indeed grown to care abt tome a lot. they bicker Most of the time but it's usually not very serious#in all the excitement tome just hadn't rly realized that until now. ritsu is so high-strung that it's hard to get a read on his softer side#but now he's not just directing his softer side to his brother‚ but to tome as well#i have 15 more tags to explain smth i wanna make clear btw let's hope i don't start rambling abt smth else entirely#so i've been using a lot of vocabulary in these au posts that hint toward mob being ''special'' or ''abnormal'' in his behavior#he is not special or abnormal in any way#Every zombie is like that. every zombie has a personality‚ and a gentler demeanor hidden behind that desperate starvation#and remnants of their past selves in there somewhere#mob is simply one of the only zombies that have been taken in and cared for and treated like a sick person rather than a monster#as i've said before most people just.. either run away or shoot them between the eyes when crossing paths with a zombie#they don't give any of them a Chance. mob is a very very lucky zombie.#he is healthier than most other zombies and he is treated far better#and the way ritsu constantly talks to him is actually great for his health ! gets those rusty gears in his head rollin#exercises that brain‚ even if‚ to ritsu‚ he's only responding in odd gibberish#that's only one of the things ritsu gives him that other zombies never receive in their lifetimes#i'd say mob prolly ? has one of the longest ''zombie lifespans''#most zombies either die of starvation‚ dehydration‚ or sleep deprivation within a few weeks#he's lived a long zombie life !
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sadhorsegirl · 1 year
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need it on the official record that i do love moiraine and lan's relationship sososo much!!!
i love the implicit understanding they have with each other, based partially in the fact that they are both heirs separated from a crown for very different reasons. moiraine and lan are both people who cannot go back to where they came from, whether they want to or not. so there is this shared sense of loneliness, and drift that they share, wrapped up in the idea that they probably aren't going to survive the last battle (or even the journey to it) and would rather sacrifice themselves than have anyone they care for or, in moiraine's case for some people deem more necessary to The Pattern (although to be fair to her, this often still means having a certain level of care for them she just um. wasn't raised to know how to show any healthy positive emotion i don't think) moving in companionable silence eternally Searching™
i've grown increasingly haunted by this exchange they have at the end of new spring:
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like............"surrender after you are dead. yes." is the sentiment set up as one of the core values of their partnership starting from the very moment she decides to ask lan to be her warder. surely, this will end well for all parties and will NOT have any tragic implications!
it sets up this really harsh poetic symmetry (surprise) when they have their Big Fight™ in the great hunt. moiraine LITERALLY invokes how they first met with funny little jokes abt him throwing her in a pond to get his defenses down so she can jump scare him w an intense re-examination of their relationship. the whole fight is basically her forcing him to think on his toes so she can examine him at his most basic emotional level in order to try and expose the truth abt how he feels, going from playful to painful at the flip of a coin lol. and he's aware of it!!! him calling her out on it and her answering back w patented Aes Sedai Speak, in a relationship that should be free of such manipulation.....
the real master stroke here, though, is the fact that the chapter is from moiraine's pov. we get to see her own inner thoughts about it and see that beneath the devastating chess game she's playing she's just as heartbroken at having to play it. the argument is really a crystalization of what makes her such an interesting character for me -- she is leveraging absolutely brutal social dynamics in order to, from her perspective, HELP someone she cares for deeply.
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essentially, moiraine is saying that in his love for nynaeve he's found something to live for beyond sacrifice and that means that their bond to each other must be terminated. he can create a new life, and bc she thinks she understands how everything will play out moiraine thinks she is just cutting down the time before he realizes he can and will ask for her to dissolve the bond anyway. he isn't wed to death anymore, leaving the heavy implication that moiraine still is.
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which sets us up for something really interesting for them in s2 i think! while their relationship in the show seems to generally be under less strain than it is where we see them in the mainline series, there remains another crucial difference btw the books and the show -- moiraine has siuan!!!!! im rly excited to see how that comes into play in terms of any potential interpretation of this fight/the breakdown of lan and moiraine's relationship bc it makes her decision to push him away feel even more hypocritical and rooted in her tendency to be self-sacrificing to the point of self loathing.
tldr for anyone just trying to figure out what this might all mean for season two according to one singular poster on tumblr dot com: in the books moiraine feels very........time to burn all bridges so no one can chase after me on my suicide mission basically and i can't say im NOT excited to see if that's where she ends up in the show (to live is to suffer etc etc)
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inkybinkyboink · 3 days
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marauders weed headcanons bc guess what baybee??? im a free man motherfucker 🙇🏻
let's get it out of the way, peter hogs the joint. im sorry.
normally this like. doesnt bug me all too much but he's too scared to even smoke it
he just holds it and it just burns away
peter you're wasting good weed!!!
james is excellent at re-lighting the joint without a lighter (or magic)
sirius gets really fucking paranoid if it's not the right strain
remus is stoner extraordinaire (i will die on this hill)
sirius is the best at sneaking food from the kitchens when they all get the munchies
their favorite place to smoke is the shrieking shack
though, i reckon they probably plan their excursions bc can you imagine smoking in the shrieking shack and then realizing you're fucking starving but the castle is like all the way back up the hill
i would die
i would crave death
remus does more weed than the other three
it helps with his chronic pain and i wouldnt be surprised if he has some sort of special prescription for it
i know it's the 70s, but im not abt to figure out the specifics
remus and sirius are each others favorite pillows when they're both high
it helps james get to sleep and stay asleep
peter cant take more than like 3 puffs or else he gets weed shakes
the others will help him stay calm and massage spots on his shoulders to help him relax
i can also see them doing this for sirius though id assume sirius wants remus to do it more than the other two
sirius having a really bad high and remus walking him through it, trying to soothe him to sleep so he can sleep it off
remus having a pain flareup and calling it quits at like 6pm, going to hide somewhere in the castle to smoke and not think about how much his hips hurt
dude. listen. stoner room of requirement.
i mean its. the room of requirement. if im a stoner who requires a comfy place to hide out with a comfy couch and good lighting, in theory that should appear.
peter gets the most munchies
james has the craziest thoughts
sirius falls asleep the quickest
remus is the least anxious
god stoner remus actually makes me feel whole as a person
i feel like remus likes being alone when he's high, more than he likes a blunt rotation
god they rlly are the dream blunt rotation
them talking shit while stoned
when remus indubitably goes to live with sirius at 12 grimmauld place they light a joint "for old times sake"
thats a lie, remus never quit, he just wanted to help sirius unwind
remus helping sirius cope with what happened with him getting falsely convicted and sent to azkaban by smoking a joint with him every night on the steps and just talking
not about prison, or what happened, even
just...talking
about anything sirius wants
it helps him re-familiarize himself with the world around him without getting too spooked.
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teadrop-12 · 4 days
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Hello! Been following you for a while now, and I was just wondering if you have any hc for uno/djinn?
Oh I absolutely do (also so sorry for this taking so long)
ace guy. I dunno abt romantic attraction but I know he’s ace to me
of course he’s got trust issues with literally every single person he meets. Not blaming him for that
not allowed at children’s birthday parties
was married for 6 minutes before he stole their car or something
genuinely? If he knew Geetha he’d be scared of her. Like she’d send the most vile death threats known to man to him if she knew his location.
this man is a mess
after everything that happened (like when the mentors were younger. and abandonded him.) he kind of involuntarily got a new sociopathic mindset, which i think can be seen with like, how he treats the people he works with.
like his treatment of dos, leaving her to die and openly admitting it in front of her, as well as manipulating rizwan for almost only his own benefit
. this could also just be like. that one motto like "no connections no pain" or something like that.
but also i think he was kind of close with rizwan, which is why i think he got more distraught with the thought of him betraying him (which he eventually did.)
i like to imagine he was kind of interested in becoming a detective? like he did go to a bunch of uni classes for criminalistics and forensics but after he got into MATA i think he solely focused on that.
it is definetly a regret of his.
ok this has a few heavy hitters now
before rizwan came in, Dos was the strongest numeros agent besides Djin, and unknowingly they took her dna in order to clone her (which turned out to be rudy). after they decided to terminate rudy, rudy ran away and thats how she was homeless, and since Djin knew about the whole experiments and everything, thats why he went to follow rudy at that time and bring him to MATA.
small rant. why does every former inviso agent fucking hate rudy. what did she do
like when i was younger i used to think like "oh maybe she was such an annoying kid" and now im thinking NO??? SHE WAS A KID!! KIDS ARE ANNOYING!! THAT DOESNT WARRENT THEM BEING BEAT UP!!
im so sorry this took so long and theyre not too great!!
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zai-doodles · 1 year
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Ok ok last question then I’ll stop bothering you lol (but I eagerly look forward to anything you will say in the future about fairytail!)
I think I got your thoughts on Nalu, but what about other ships? You said Gajeel and Levy are your fav ship, could you tell us more why? What about Gray x Juvia? Do you have a least favorite ship?
(And don’t be sorry for rambling a lot/your posts being long! I really enjoy reading your thoughts!)
bestie i literally love u i never have the chance to post my ft hc stuff im THRIVING
aight so im going to make enemies with this post i can feel it in my bones gjkfdhgsfdkj
however i just want to say if u like these ships thats completely fine and if you read them diffrently than i do thats also dope
so lets start positive!! i LOVE gajevy sm its so perfect i just ljdghfkjd
no listen like the thing that gets me abt gajevy is how it elevates gajeel as a character SO MUCH and gives levy so much agency at the same time, like u cant tell me ft would have embraced gajeel the way they did if levy didnt CHOOSE to forgive gajeel in some capacity and like fuck imagine ur GAJEEL in this situation like bro wakes up everyday and this is just his life
gajeel lost metalica at a young age, and (i dont remember too much of canon but im pretty sure its implied he just kinda fucked around until phantom tropue picked him up which yikes) like this CHILD was on his own most of his formative years and then got picked up by a super shitty abusive group of ppl and he just LEARNED to blend in, like yea metalica made him kind of a punk but he was a KID so during those years he was alone he probably just closed himself off to survive and learned to prioritize himself over everybody else and to do that it takes a level of desensitizing urself to others pain
and like ok again im playing hard and fast with canon but i THINK its implied he like, had done a lot of bad shit with them or whatever right? like what he did to levy and fairy tail wasn't NEW, so when the events in canon happen and he ends up at fairy tail, in my mind that's the FIRST TIME he has to face how HIS ACTIONS DIRECTLY HURT SOMEONE
and not only thats but someone who OBJECTIVELY DIDN'T DESERVE IT
like ugh gajeel just,, having to learn to let himself care but also it fucking sucks bc it just makes it set in more and more what a bad person he is (he isnt but he thinks he is) THEN FUCKING LEVY PULLS UP AND JUST?? IS THE BEST???
she literally blows thro all his expectations of her bc at this point i think hes use to dealing with ppl being afraid of him bc that ssomething he understands and control, what he DOESNT understand is her being NICE to him and it makes him RESPECT her and its so out of no where that by the time the GMG roles around and gajeel has fully accepted the fact that he indeed has emotions like everyone else, ONLY TO HAVE TO FACE LEVY BEING SCARED OF HIM AGAIN
learning to put others needs above his own and being empathetic in his own fucked up way
ok enough positivity time to make ppl mad
gonna link my juvia is a lesbian post here bc it sums up a LOT of my feelings on gruvia but the tldr is that my personal hc is that juvia is a lesbian with a serious case of comp het from trying to fit in with other kids growing up and it literally was just never corrected until she got to fairy tail and actively started to form friendships
the main reason i dislike gruvia is that it paints gray as the one who needs to change in order to accept juvias feelings and not just cuz he needs to grow as a person and learn to allow himself to be vunrable.
like grays arc doesnt ONLY center around juvia but its a big part of it and juvias growth CENTERS around gray and we can talk about the the borderline misogynist idea of having a female character whos damn near whole identity is her feelings for a man where she never grows or learns meaningfully but instead just very slowly chills out more so from being sidelined than growth but i digress i just dont like them
last is jerza,, i just dont like em,, jellal is really boring in my opinion and he had a lot of potential but meh? his redemption is neat and his history with erza has potential but i feel like the point of erzas arc is about growth and moving on and while i think her and jellal can still be friends and have each others back she still has so much healing to do after tower of heaven
idk i dont see a lot wrong with jerza i just feel like its a lil bland and not my cup of tea
and yes queer platonic nalu is my life id die for them actually and i have more stuff about natsus abandonment issues and how they carry into his relationships with ppl but imma stop bc this post is long jgkfhgdjhfdjk
tldr: i love gajevy, actively dislike gruvia, very meh about jerza, love qpp nalu
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magnoliamyrrh · 1 year
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Thank you for talking about all this even through it's uncomfortable. I'm from the Balkans too and I went through some similar things, but I did not know it was such a common experience until I read the other anons and your experiences. I have never really told anyone about it and I still have hard time knowing how to feel, but I think what my Aunt did technically count as being molested? When I was still rather young she would "play" with me down there often and it would always feel overwhelming and too much. It has always made me feel odd looking back at it, and it disturb me to realize that she probably made me orgasm, but because it was not forced or painful and she was nice and because it was normalized for family to grope and sexualize in general I never complained or knew it was wrong and I have never known if it counts as actually being abused or not. But I guess... I am starting to realize that was not really normal
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hey <3 yea, of course. i think its helpful to talk abt this shit for once, this culture of silence and shame and normalization doesnt seem to have rly helped any of us. thank you for sending this too
no its.. its definitely not normal, and im sorry you went through any of this anon <3 v much sending u a hug. we have just... for sure normalized a certain level and kind of pedophilia and incest in the balkans, particularly with young children, and its... really fucking weird. i totally get what you mean, i grew up w a v similar thing for years, and its v confusing and conflicting to grow up and realize it.. wasnt ok..this whole thing w messing around w little kids like that in the open and noone seeming to have any issue w it whatsoever bc they find it cute or endearing or playful or harmless or whatever the hell is just. really fucking weird. really weird. i still have a rather hard time trying to wrap my head around it bc i just.... really don't fucking get it ?? ive never been around a kid and thought oh yea hey you know what would be cute. doing that. and yet somehow this was just. fine???
and i know what you mean. often when you think of abuse or csa you think of something that is traumatic and violent and forced and leaves you feeling scared and violated and... its real odd when its not like that, and when it was just kinda a normalized thing that didnt necessarly seem bad or unpleasant or unwanted or traumatizing in the usual sense, tho personally i do think it definitely fucked me up. i think it makes it harder to know how the hell to feel about it, or how to feel about these people frankly.... i really dont know what to make of them. is this pedophilic behavior? yes...? do i think theyre pedophiles......???? yes? no? both? i have no idea, it doesnt seem like the sort of thing they do to get themselves off but rather bc its just.. normal to them and a normal way to show affection even though it is most fucking definitely not, and its definitely abusive. ..... I don't know. it really is all such a confusing entangeled mess, and I still cant believe weve somehow reached the point culturally where this stuff is just so normalized. im sorry again that uve been through this too anon im wishing u all the best and may you find some peace with all of this <3
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i feel so BETRAYED obv you didnt promise me anything…
BUT CMON PREGNANCY??? YALL DIDNT SEE THAT GIRL ON TIK TOK WITH HER 200+ REASONS TO NOT BE PREGNANT. SERIOUSLY.
(/j) BUT IM STILL VERY MUCH ANTI PREGNANCY
i also forgot i was alive for a hot min but I’m back and have things to say🤌🏻
sooo everyone wished for soft non-con and i get your point but 👀 nobody know the chemistry rough non-con can have … not in a romantic way but in the we get to know how FAR a character will go and how fucked up they truly are to hurt their love
maybe im trippin 🤥 but i was team rough non-con for this ch. although if the others want soft i cannot blame them
ill freak out reading it either way 💅🏻 #choppingoffgyusdick
and lord soobin??? okayyyyyy
us dressing like a whore??? GIRL- FUCKIN -BOSSING
and everyone talking abt loser lover ending???
i read that fic a bit ago and it fucking BROKE me, i think i read the whole thing abt 3 times (not within a week or anything) i just came back to it and it broke me EVERY time
i was sobbing the first time and staring blankly at my wall the second time… tryna process everything. like the things they did to each other and especially that last ch. where reader fucks gyu and streams it literally killed me
i was so disappointed in their behavior and so emotionally invested srsly it broke my heart when you described beomgyu curling into himself… or the way he didnt want any of it but did it still for reader all the comments of the viewers… like it was written so well it truly hurt me😭🤌🏻 AND I READ IT AGAIN???? LIKE DO I HATE MYSELF WHY???
or the fact reader has to leave soobin, or the time soobin noticed reader being more invested in gyu than in him :(((( it made me want to give soobin ALL THE ATTENTION he deserved
or that one time where reader was like saying how gyu is only her toy and should act like it and instead of being a brat gyu just allowed it like he was actually broken and did everything for her to keep him… or the way she described him like a dog or her pet on stream
GOD THE EMOTIONS, I READ IT A WHILE AGO BUT ITS STILL AAAAA IT STILL KILLS ME TO THINK ABT IT
ill probably be just as sad abt yamqn but your writing is hella good and idk being invested in the story and feeling the characters feelings is kinda the goal isnt it
im excited where we are going to go with yamqn but im also a bit scared ill cry my eyes out again😭😭😭🤌🏻
- ❄️
listen i'm the biggest pregnancy anti out there and i live in an arab country where marrying and having a child is considered an absolute must in life but i've already managed to beat down my parents into giving up on me ever having a child so i get it lmao but again if the pregnancy is important to the plot of a story i'm writing then that's what i'm gonna do lmao
offf i keep going back and forth on the noncon thing even after most everyone said they want it soft because i feel like there is a lot of emotion involved in that scene and gyu is hella stressed and upset and he might not have the capacity to be soft in that instance but at the same time he doesn't want to hurt her and he is in a sick way happy to have her ahhh it's so complicated
the way you're describing lover loser makes ME wanna read it again lmao i'm just addicted to broken gyu
and the ending for this fic will probably be just as heartwrenching as the lover lover ending 😭 but we love pain here
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icharchivist · 2 years
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I LOVE MISUMI SO MUCH AND I WANT TO GIVE HIM A HUG. okay deep breaths now. uh. i went through captain sky's pirates! for the longest time i misread the play title and was CONVINCED they were like sky pirates like they were all in airships and stuff and honestly. i actually didnt realize they weren't in flying ships until i watched the play which was over halfway thru reading the event. um. clearly i was hoping too hard that i ignored everything else lol. but seriously... why else would the captain be named sky...
anyways gosh. its been a whole 3 months since clockwork heart! now that it's summer (fitting season for this troupe lol) im gonna go thru some more a3 though i think. let's see the actual event...
well first off the lil intro with part of the older summer troupe's play did make me go and read the first chapter of one piece haha. just for the Vibe. the paper airplane competition they had was so fun and i personally related w/ tenma prototyping his paper airplanes and having it absolutely suck because that's so me like taking something so extremely seriously that i forget that precision engineering isnt like actually feasible so all this theory is functionally useless and that i also don't know any aerodynamics theory in the first place. but also “don’t you know that paper airplanes fly farther if you put all your love into them!?” this is so funny i could never say that. pfft i just looked back to the notes i was taking and i was like "oh its paper airplanes because SKY pirates!!!!" i cannot read apostrophes.
i also was like "omg tsuzuru didn't faint immediately" only for everyone to also comment the same thing haha so i knew that wasn't gonna last... i mean i assumed he was trying not to faint bc he wanted to talk abt that original script paper thing but i also noticed that he faints very specifically after people compliment him on it so i like to think he was so relieved that his body gave out.
when they're discussing the play there's a part where yuki talks abt costuming and kazunari talks about like the design colors and the accents and stuff and i was just like !!! bc it's like! that's what sardine search started! with kazunari discussing design aspects with yuki... and now he feels comfortable enough to just talk about it! i loved how natural that was.
also it's been a while since i went through the og summer troupe bc i was sitting there like "wait did people not KNOW misumis grandpa did scripts?" like i didnt remember the script thing specifically but i remember he was an important mankai person for sure. bc its like.... well, why else was misumi living there huh.
i was very happy muku was the second lead in the play! although i am kind of sad tenma didnt play francoise lol... literally i was sitting up in my seat like. my fic idea of tenma saying he'd play a female role real??? but i guess the short jokes wouldn't have worked then.
and then for most of this event i felt Deeply Concerned for misumi and wanted to give him a hug. like it's all like it was a cute "tenma's scared of ghosts!" thing when they found him but also he was just living out there alone? he’s got great athletic skills but how long has he been living out there alone. I’m really asking how long. he's not that old how long was it. his grandfather died six years ago it how long has misumi been living alone how long has he been on the run. “gramps was the only one who didn’t abandon me. he was the one who made sure I wasn’t alone.” i am so worried about him. and misumi's whole thing with not being able to remember hakkaku's face Really got me! like that's just such a painful thing and like. idk. personally as someone who can really only visit some of my relatives very rarely i definitely get him.
anyways the treasure map! that was so cute. also i didn't remember how muku and kazunari's room looked,, it was so fresh feeling. oh wow! muku and kazunaris room looks so fresh and nice. tenma hiding a self help directionally challenged book is also so hilarious. yuki re: yuzo “how is that geezer always so free? does he really have a job?” how are YOU free, yuki??? you have TWO jobs (acting, costuming) AND ur a student!
when they couldn't find the last treasure box i immediately called it like "i bet what he liked most was being able to hear the troupe perform. bc those precious memories w/ his friends is what he treasures most" and i pretty much nailed it on that account i feel. i am so glad madoka is the one who showed up to meet muku and izumi bc he is actually a good kid which made me feel so relieved. the my master's mesmerized by mystery event made me cry because i felt so bad for homare and this made me emo but i didn't cry which is great. also when muku and izumi first try to talk to him i think it's so funny that muku's like "maybe tenma and yuki would have done better..." if u let tenma and yuki do it they would have gotten arrested 100%.
still i got extremely sad when madoka was like "“so he’s still alive…” like izumi’s inner voice is like oh! he’s smiling hearing about him! guess he doesn't hate him after all :) meanwhile fucking sirens going off in my brain like madoka had literally no assurance on whether his brother was alive or dead. what the hell. anyways the “…if I always hung around such a weird person, I’d start acting like one, too.” i want to engage misumi's parents in mortal combat. that's such a real feeling tho, i definitely remember growing up like madoka with regards to parents being like don't be like your older sibling AT ALL (though not to such a serious extent as him). even the way he immediately picks out st.flora by saying that's where smart people go...
after they got the final treasure box back i finally watched the play lol... moments that stood out to me. misumi's outfit is GREAT although i wish there were triangles on it. i think it is SO funny that blackbeard is not only a woman but their name is francoise. that's so funny to me. like they're not even elegant enough for that name when they're not disguised. also henry being like "ya u guys were too miserable to steal from so I hung around" is so funny to me. and misumi is like. not even that tall in comparison to muku and yuki which is so funny to me. so i like to imagine when sky is like "the smaller they are, the more famous they be" he like solemnly takes off his platform boots like it'll gain him instant fame somehow. also jonny gives massive unpaid intern vibes to me. also with the whole triangle island thing and the treasure box... are we sure tsuzuru is not like a precog or something because there's similarities to real life and there's this which is something else.
and the paper airplane coming back at the end was so cute! though... misumi's father works for mr.kamikizaka... that's the god troupe guy! god. also im squinting at when misumis dad is like do paperwork and im like. is this guy... profiting off of his kid's script labor? or is he perhaps repurposing hakkaku's scripts... evil. madoka please be safe.
some other minor notes i did NOT miss yuzo going "back then, he was still…” um sir. have something to say abt izumi's dad perhaps? i'm realllly curious as to why the whole mankai troupe went no contact. the ending with the fireworks was so cute! the whole summer triangle thing, too, like god. they are all just Best Friends and that is their treasure! it's so sweet. also the way summer troupe makes fun of tenma like very nicely bc tenma is just like so. bluffs all the time but is also stupid sweet to the troupe is like... idk. i love it when tenma and yuki bicker it just feels like something that grounds the team it feels so natural yknow? it's so nice. also i listened to the song for this play and the inst is so fun!
that's about all the thoughts i had... just three events between me and nocturnality now :)
MISUMI EVENT LET'S GOOOOO
it's already long so, my own reply/thoughts under the cut :3c
Misumi deserves all the hugs in the world and that's final! god. AND HELP THE MISREAD. To be fair there IS a pirates in spaceships play way further down the line (tho it was never covered by the EN server) so it's not THAT far fetched. I feel like "Captain Sky" works for Misumi in the sense of both, freeing himself from his family in a way that can be aiming for the sky, and in general the fact Misumi finds a lot of solace in the nightsky especially. We see it in this event with his love for the summer sky and especially the summer triangle, which, for him, equals his ultimate happiness, but also how he has a fascination with the moon as we see from his crossbackstage with Tsumugi. Angstily, i could imagine that at a time his loneliness was at its peak he found himself some happiness in looking at the Sky, so eventually this name can be an extention of that: of this freedom but also of this sense of belonging that he found there. But if any of that is to take for granted it also means we need to start considering that Tsuzuru is a witch for figuring it out. That's a thing.
BUT YAY welcome back, it's so good to see you again :3c it's always a pleasure to see you go through a3!
And omg for the vibe that's pretty sweet. And YEAH the paper airplane is so cute!! Also a call back to the fact a competition also happens in Misumi's base SR's backstage i think? and just, man the way it comes back to haunt us. But RIP on you relating to Tenma in that moment this is so funny. Tho it's really honestly pretty sweet especially to see Tenma being so… childish. I've rewatched the anime recently and by god, Tenma gets to be so silly and participate in so many childish things as time goes by that i forgot just how much he had to play the adult for his job and how he denied himself some happiness like this unless it was for acting in movies. So everytime he gets to have silly moment like that my heart melt. Sweet kid… (also if you want to suffer i have to let you know that the Stageplay of a3 has Misumi and Madoka have a duet about paperplanes: part 1 & part 2 )
HELP THE TSUZURU THING. Tsuzuru fainting best running gag, i'm sorry Tsuzuru for your suffering but we must all admit it's endlessly funny. Also i love that you pick up he collapses as soon as he's complimented. The relieve from the stress that was basically holding him awake for that time help.
AND YEAH GOD THE YUKI AND KAZUNARI THING. honestly this is what solds me so much on those events and that i can't imagine skipping directly to act 2's main story: not only the characters grow a LOT during those events but you get to also see the direct results of how it affected them. From Sardine Search we know Yuki was doing it all on his own and was overwhelming himself and Kazunari didn't feel like he could share his design ideas with Yuki, and in the end the two of them realizing they can lift each other up by being a support on that regard, and the fact that Yuki especially opened enough to let Kazunari have a place in his creative process, that the closed off kid opened up and that the kid who wouldn't know how to assert himself now find his place proposing ideas to Yuki and seeing the two of them discussing on tandem, and being so excited and building each other up… god!!! this is so good. I love to see them heal and grow after each event and keeping the lessons they learnt up. It's so touching.
And omg yeah i think Misumi mentions gramps but like, in a whisper? And even Izumi isn't sure she caught it. So the rest of Summer doesn't specifically get it, i think? i'm not sure, else Izumi heard it. I know the anime did away with it with just, not having Misumi bring it up at all DLKFJDLF but yeah! people didn't know! but yeah like, this is also the obvious thing as to why Misumi felt he could come living here help.
Muku being second lead was SOOO good, i'm so happy with seeing him becoming more assertive and confident on that regard. He did shine so well after all of this! And DLKFJLDKFJ Be the change you want to see in the world, go write this fic! Tenma deserves it. But yeah alas they needed to mock Yuki on his heigh, typical. (Tsuzuru revenge fantasy of making fun of Yuki's heigh as payback for the Villager C thing)
And god yeah… yeah. Misumi's whole story is seriously so heartbreaking. I think a3 works the line between comedy and tragic very well in a way, where Misumi's introduction was really funny because it was burrying the leads of the implications of how tragic it is that he's there thanks to how silly the situation was, and then, when finally it addresses the tragic it's like oh. right. that was here from the start i forgot. For how long Misumi had run off, he does mention that he's been here since "before there started to be noise in the theater", which means he has been here for at least before Spring. Initially i would have thought it meant that he must have been here for a couple of months before Spring started to act there, if he can take this event as a temporal mark. But then thinking about it, Matsukawa mentions that the room has been haunted for a very long time and that's why he never came in and it makes me wonder if Misumi's marks aren't skewed by loneliness to the point it means nothing: could have been years since he's there. Which makes more sense as to why Madoka thought he was dead. If Misumi had been gone only for a year or so, i feel like this wouldn't have been Madoka's first thought, so……….. Personally i'm inclined to think he perhaps stayed one or two years after his gramps death with his family and the more lonely he felt + the grief, the more he felt he couldn't stand it, and eventually he came back to the one place that could make him think of the only person who made him feel like home: Mankai. This was my Detective Work™ of "trying to read between the lines but especially between my tears" But yeah man him forgetting Hakkaku was so sad 😭 poor kid.
The tresure map part of the event was adorable! I love the tidbits into seeing the other summer people being silly in that search, it was adorable. AND HELP at roasting Yuki there :sob:
And waaa you know their heart so well 😭 And oh boy Madoka. he's such a good kid…. I'm glad at least you kept yourself emotionally stable! this is a plus because this event personally just murders me in more way than one. ALSO HELP "i think it's so funny that muku's like "maybe tenma and yuki would have done better…" if u let tenma and yuki do it they would have gotten arrested 100%. " this killed me on the spot. you're 100% correct.
And GOD yeah. yeah Madoka's reaction raises a hundred of red flags about his parents this is terrible. AND YEAH let's engage Misumi's parents in mortal combat this is so fucked up. Like the implications of both how they isolated Misumi, making him know he was too weird for them, isolating Madoka from him, Madoka being too young probably to process it other than "i don't want to shame my parents so i'll do what they tell me even if i don't understand why" and only realizing how fucked up it was once Misumi was gone, but even so, the fact he thought he was dead probably means his parents are either telling him so, or that they just never bring him up at all and so he jumped to conclusion. It's honestly really fucked up.
As for relating to the situation, oof. I feel you for that. And yeah little tidbits about me but my elder sibling ran away from home when i was 6yo never to be seen again and yeah, so, this event did a particular amount of psych dmg to me in a way i could never anticipate. I related a lot to Madoka's situation on that regard, and perhaps project some of the uglier aspects of what a situation like this means on him, but by god. This is so cruel. And like, out of this experience, Madoka was having the "don't be like your brother" when he was still here which in itself was damaging, but with on top of that him running away it adds another level of pressure on Madoka of "not abandonning the family like my brother did". There's this type of pain that, even if you manage to process that it was for the best that they left because you eventually process how badly the family has treated him (and perhaps even you in the process), the absolute pain of the abandon, of being left behind, and especially feeling responsible on "if i wasn't a silly kid who pushed him away perhaps he would still be here, but also, wouldn't it have been more pain for him?" and therefore not wanting to put your family through that again, and just. Listen. Madoka is a mess. I'm claiming Madoka i'm giving him so many psych problem, my city now. So even if his family would be better off without Misumi, the idea, the social stigma, of the younger doing the same, would in itself be either a present or a subtextual pressure on Madoka and god this kid must be going through it. And on top of that "even if he manages to process it was for the best" is something he can only do NOW that he knows Misumi is alive. Honestly Madoka's relief made him take it in in such a mature and graceful way for such a kid. takes deep breath sorry this event touched on something extremely primeval in me and it makes me take it in all of the complex ways, and honestly it baffles me how well a3 did capture this experience. Because goodness it's an insane one, and for a minor character (at this point at least) i feel like they did such a good job to portray some nuances on that regard. And back to Misumi it's also just a nightmare for him as well, he had to sacrifice his little brother to be able to move on and be happier, but also with the belief his brother, whom he loves dearly, hated him. It must be so painful when he gets to think about it and it's just. god. so much.
aNYWAY, the play now. It's sUCH a fun play i love it so much. but yeah mood Misumi deserved more triangles. AND HELP THE COMMENTS ON FRANCOISE. Very true, very true. i LOVE Henry in this play, he's so so funny and honestly seeing pure and cute Muku play "Bloody Henry" was incredible. I love how we can still buy him. Innocent face to hide his bad intentions yeah? so good. Muku ever since he joined Mankai like "i want to play a prince, but if i can't i will be the biggest thug of the play", godspeed baby. "so i like to imagine when sky is like "the smaller they are, the more famous they be" he like solemnly takes off his platform boots like it'll gain him instant fame somehow." THIS IS SO FUNNY this is the only way i'll picture it now. And god right, such a good play. AND YEA LEGIT TSUZURU IT'S BECOMING TERRIFYING. Tsuzuru doesn't write, he gets possessed by the spirit of whoever is going to be the lead of that play and suddenly he writes something that will force you to face an intense buried trauma whenever you want it or not. Fucking terrifying.
The ending was really adorable as it is. And yeah oof the fact the father works for the God Troupe really makes it so sour. Even if Misumi and Madoka manages to patch things up they still have this thing separating them… how unfair. And yeah i read it that way too of, the father profiting of his son's writing. Whenever Madoka writes from Hakkaku's plays or are 100% original, he's clearly being exploited lol. but hey "don't disappoint me like your brother" must be a hell of a motivation. Dipshit. I will fight their parents myself. and Adopt Madoka. That's the least i can do.
And god yeah. yuzo still so mysterious… share your secret with us. Please. we need to know. I really want to know toooo. And YEAH THE FIREWORKS WERE SO CUTE. I'm so glad it's becoming a tradition for them, it's honestly so so adorable. And the summer triangle really pushed Misumi's obsession with triangle from cute to so meaningful i'm bawling everytime he talks about them. IT's such a sweet scene. And the fact he finds all of his friends to be his treasure is just. bites fist. it's adorable i'm so happy for them. And yeah god, re what i was saying at the begining i love to see Tenma just being silly and having a good time. I remember some Itaru's minichat where he also brings it up (try this link) and it's so soft to me. and yeah god mood, i love their bickering, i love this troupe, it has such a nice dynamic and vibe and you can feel them just. being much happier everytime they get to be together. It's so sweet. I love them. And the song for this play is SOOOO GOOd, Misumi's voice actor went off with it it's so pretty. Also i've seen it live and by god. He goes ham it's 😳 okay!
Thank you once again for sharing all of your thoughts, it's really always a pleasure to read them ❤❤❤❤ The a3 experience will always bring tears to my eyes truly.
And owo Nocturnality soon!!!! The very normal event that i can be soooo normal about. Normality. LEt's GOO
OH and the next 3 have some of my fav moments but also i feel like i've been saying this about every a3 events DLKJFDKLFJDFLK. At least the good thing with a3's event is that even when it's not about your fav you will always find something worth your emotions. So great. Can't wait to see your thoughts on what follows :3c
Thank you once again for sharing it all ❤❤❤ have a nice day!
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pepprs · 3 years
Text
hm. sure am not making anything easier for myself by doing what im doing and yet im doing it
#wasn’t going to post abt it but. ​i left a yr ago this week and like. all of the anniversaries are painful and hard and idk how to like. dea#w it. it sounds so pretentious like ohhhhh poor me i studied abroad so im special andquirky and different 🤪🤪🤪 but it was so hard for me to l#leave home and say goodbye and i didn’t know it would be a goodbye for good bc of covid and like. it’s so dramatic but i rly do feel like im#reliving the shutdown.. like MY shutdown. of my life here and it just ummmmmm hurts 😍 and like adding stuff to the tag and listening to sad#music and whatever doesn’t make it go away and probably makes it worse but idk how to deal w like. anniversaries of grief ever and well this#week is just ummmmm hard ♥️ ABD idk how im gonna deal w my phone reminding me where i was a yr ago for the next like 7 weeks lol. just need#get thru early march and then i’ll b fine but today was ummmmmm a lot and monday will be too and i feel hollowed out w grief. but i also#know i shouldn’t only see it as sad bc i was incredibly fortunate to have that opportunity and it changed my life for the better in so many#ways but that perspective shift is hard esp when i get like this. yeah ♥️#purrs#brighton#like it really has been one WHOLE YEAR since i was last on campus and saw some of the most important ppl in my whole life in person. ok 😍#ok not to like keep adding on to this it jjst is insane to me THST i was so scared to leave and i had reason to be and i didn’t know it. wtf#if i had known what was coming i don’t think i would have gone. but then again this is the middle of the story and maybe post covid i’ll#think abt it differently but rn.. i mean ik it probably wouldve been more traumatizing to be home for the shutdown like i would’ve gone#absolutely insane. but. like the timing of all of this was and is just so fucking SHITTY and i wish i’d had a little longer w everyone here#like i know i needed brighton and i don’t regret it except for when i do ♥️ bc i miss my old life so much. im insaaaane im crazaAaAaAy 😍
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gogolstoelicker · 2 years
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Giggles
We've got like practically a whole chain of BSD characters in Twisted Wonderland. So what if Akutagawa was there? We've got alot of agency members, time to bring Mafia into the mix. Evil ass
Twisted Wonderland with an Akutagawa!like MC
warning(s): mentions of killing, mentions of blood
notes: this is so funny to me bc imagine insulting mc and they just Rashomon everyone's ass
i added everyone bc pain and suffering sounds funny to me /j
You're extremely violent and ruthless when it comes to work, all the while maintaining a stoic and detached figure. Your composure is frequently broken by rage, however. You're quick to lash out whenever something doesn't go your way.
You seem to have a Social Darwinist perspective of the world. You believed that the weak deserves to die and yield to the strong.
Heartslabyul:
ace and deuce definitely learned the hard way not to piss you off LMAO
like they were causing trouble and u just rashomon their ass
esp ace (and grim)
and yknow in the prologue when ace mocked you? yeah
you probably rashomon his ass then
he was scared of you bc AREN'T U MAGICLESS?? WHAT IS THIS??
i mean he sure still bother u here and there after he got over his shock
can't help it man, you're his best friend
trey saw u and go "ah yes. another mentally ill friend🤗" /hj
honestly you're probably a little bit appreciative of trey
only a little tho
mostly bc of those pastries he makes
u try to avoid cater bc hes trying so hard to get ur emo ass to appear on his magicam
u probably tried to destory his phone once
but u got scolded by trey
u listen to trey for some reason?
talking to u is like a landmine bro
cater can ask a perfectly normal question like "do u like dogs?"
and u just go "not really, a wild dog bit one of my friends in the slums before so i was forced to kill all the dogs there"
and everyone at the table just stared at u like 🕴
riddle doesn't like how u do whatever u want
i mean u followed some rules if u think they're convenient but other than that, n o
and control that temper of yours! great sevens, he's getting a headache from the amount of times he had to collar u so u won't destroy heartslabyul or the whole school in general
Savanaclaw:
honestly? while you almost destroy everyone there
i think this kind of mc will get along with ruggie the most
i mean they do both grow up in the slums, so there's a lot of things they can relate to that others couldn't
(bsd beast spoiler: think of that one scene in the beast manga where akutagawa and atsushi are bonding over how their lives were before they got to where they are. it's smth like that)
you would rather die than admit it but you quite enjoy talking to ruggie
there's just something that you guys know that others dont bc you both grew up in the slums
like importance of food, and the fight for a notebook
one time, everyone caught u having a small smile on your face talking to ruggie
literally everyone: 😮😦
ace felt betrayed u smiled at ruggie and not him btw
"iM yOUr beST FRIend🤬🤬"
as for leona? u don't really care abt leona?
like leona is leona!!
but u guys might not get along too well tho
as for jack, you might get along with him a little
he believes u shouldn't do thing halfheartedly and u agree with that
he wants to be stronger, u wanna be stronger
is that u running on the tracks with jack at 5 in the morning?
oh see! u guys are bonding alr!!
Octavinelle:
if it isn't for your friends, the whole coral sea and monstro lounge would be destroyed
like thank god jack is strong enough to hold u back from lashing out completely
jade thought it was amusing but a bit bothersome
floyd thought it was funny and definitely tries to piss you off on more than one occasion
azul shakes in his seat thinking about the cost he will have to pay if u ever actually destroyed monstro lounge out of rage
and knowing u, u probably won't even help him pay that cost
so he ordered jade to uh
keep floyd away from u
that one time u lashed out is enough warning for him to be careful with you
esp when it seems like u don't even care abt ur comrades and is focused on destroying the things around u and the source as to why things doesn't go your way
honestly? u guys probably don't click KSKSK
Scarabia:
kalim thinks you're cool!!
like you're so strong and your ability is so cool!
I've said smth like that many times alr i am very sorry kalim!
jamil tries his hardest to keep kalim away from u cause like
you're very likely to kill him
like there's a 90% chance you would
5% you would try to avoid before killing him bc you got annoyed
4% you would do it when jamil's not around
and 1% that you wouldn't
jamil doesn't trust u at all
not that u cared ofc
kalim, however, always followed u around if he saw u walking down rhe hallway
like oh!! is that the prefect?!?!????
and then he dropped everything and ran up to u
better start running if u don't want him to bother u abt ur ability
Pomefiore:
smile will u?
vil said when he saw u
like he had never seen u smile at all! you're gonna get wrinkles that way, smile!
rook, however, isn't too bothered by this
you're beautiful the way u are!
like ur ability, the way u carry urself, ur appearance overall
its all simply BEAUTÉ😍
epel doesn't mind much
but you're so strong damn‼️he wants to be like that too‼️
and the way u do whatever u want no matter what the faculty or dorm leaders told u?
he's shaking, wanting u to take him as a student or smth
uh oh someone pls stop him
you're from the mafia? who cares!
ok maybe he cares a little
being from the mafia sound scary
but hey! all that matters is that u won't kill anyone here right?😁
right?😅😥
Ignihyde:
ah yes, emo with the emos
like idia gloomy and you're gloomy too
probably don't even acknowledge each other
like if you guys encounter each other in the hallways, u guys just walked past each other
maybe a small head nod as a greeting but other than that, n o t h i n g
u got into fights alot
and u have a lung problems so u were coughing all the time
one time u even coughed out blood
so ortho tried to look out for u!!
u almost lashed out at him since u don't want to be pittied(how do u spell)
but u got used to it over time!!
like he rushed over to u to help and u just
let it be
like stay there and let him do some treatment and analysis
mostly bc u know no matter what u do, he'll insist on doing this
Diasomnia:
ah yes, emo with the emos(2)
u think u and sebek could get along well bc of that hatred for humanity (well not really for sebek)
but in truth, it just sparks fights between the two of you
bc you're still a human and sebek is ❌anti human❌ apparently
lilia have met many kinds of people in his long life and during his travels
so he have probably met a few people like u so he knows how to deal with u!!
you're about to lash out? well better not try to lash out on him, he was a general yknow^^
silver is always on his guard with you
and esp knowing that you're from the mafia???
yeah he's def on his guard
malleus doesn't really care what or who u work for
he wants a friend who doesn't fear him
you dont fear him but u seem to have no interest in being his friend
he's pouty about it
if u look his way, you can see him sulking abt u not wanting to be his friend
this is a threat. be. his. friend.
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Ramshackle:
oh grim def got his ass chop chop
the three ghosts too
you're probably the boss there now LMFOAOAOA
well i mean, you are a prefect. its only natural that u are one in ramshackle
but grim and the ghosts are definitely scared of you
like damn u almost destroyed the whole dorm and for what😔
but it's all good!! you warmed up to them one time!!
and it's now their core memory
like the prefect??? who almost killed us multiple time just protected us and told us not to die???
and they even suddenly started helping around??
what's next?? are the sun and moon gonna come out at the same time??
and idc what anyone says, you'll probably get along well with grim too
maybe you would just brush off the ghosts and their pranks
and even tho grim kind of makes u wanna do several capital crimes, i would say you two would get along well since you both grew up in the slums
talking to u is a landmine(2)
the ghosts asked what do u do for a living and u said smth abt killing people
they asked abt ur friends in the slums and u said they all got killed except for u and ur sister
everyone in the dorm:😱😱😱
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omiscurls · 3 years
Note
hi! (this request is heavily inspired by a kdrama i just watched called sweet home lmao) could i request a childe x gn reader fic where childe and the reader r both severely injured and the reader had to kill someone for self defense and as theyre running away the reader feeling super guilty is like “i’m so terrible i killed someone” and childe is trying to comfort them and they find a place to rest while being both on the verge of death and the reader is like “i killed someone, i’m so scared that it’ll be my last memory”and the childe is like “try to forget abt it it’s ok” and the reader is like “u don’t think abt either too” (yk implying like oh don’t think abt the ppl you’ve killed before childe, bc im assuming he’s killed a lot of ppl) and he’s like ok with a sad smile and they die together in each other’s arms holding hands?)/?:))2 help this is wayyy to detailed i’m sry but if u want the reference scene it’s from this video , they show the specific scene in time stamps 0:57-2:56 again i’m so sorry if this is too detailed or if u don’t wanna write it!!! tysm <3
memory
a/n oh my god that is just my kind of angst, thanks for the request and i hope you'll enjoy!!
prompt: honestly? dying with tartaglia (that sounds like a creepy tv show's title and i'm proud of it)
contains: tartaglia
warnings: angst, death, blood, major character death, self-blame, murder, more blood, really a lot of dying and bleeding, please do not proceed if you're not comfortable with the topics
adrenaline was probably the last string that had your body moving and functioning in any way. the blood in your veins made you deaf, only capable of noticing the sounds of it pumping behind your ears, head pulsing like a bomb about to explode.
your whole body shook, and you felt a metallic taste on your tongue, covering your mouth with your hand to prevent throwing up, which you predicted would happen in a matter of seconds.
"hey!" you finally heard childe yell, sounding distant even still, when you lifted your gaze away from the body before you and noticed he was standing fairly close. "come on, move, or his buddies" he said pointing to the lifeless man beneath you "might just come to get revenge"
with that he took your arm by the waist and pulled you along with him.
you stumbled over your own feet, and almost fell down every couple of minutes. your lungs started to burn after mere seconds, and you couldn't even find breath to tell him to slow down. you also knew he couldn't, having better self-preservation instincts than you, he understood the situation you two were in better.
fuck.
you looked behind you, to the spot where blood painted the grass red under a pile of dead bodies, some of your allies, some of your foes, but from this kind of distance, you couldn't even make out which one was which. your gaze fell down to your hands, covered in sticky redness as well.
you just killed somebody.
it wasn't even the consequences that frightened you, it was the sheer act of life leaving his eyes before he fell down, of his pupils staring at you in one last beg for mercy before freezing like that for the eternity ahead, for how his body seemed to have gained weight in a matter of seconds, almost pulling you down with him. the ringing in your head got more intense as you choked on a strained sob.
"they're dead" you breathed out, making your partner laugh sarcastically.
"good guess" he answered, his grip on your arm loosening as the both of you climbed up a hill.
"no, you don't understand, they're- dead dead! i- i didn't think i-" you stumbled over your words, panic settling in your eyes as you tried to comprehend the situation.
"what, you didn't think that if you pierce a person through with a blade they're gonna die?" he asked rhetorically, back almost slamming against a tree, sliding down to the ground with a breath of relief. "fuck, looks like i got pierced, too" he noticed, looking down onto his side, the grey material of his uniform getting dark and sticky. he hissed, trying to lift it up, and gave up on his attempts, instead opting to look at you.
you didn't sit down, but kept staring forward with the most frightened expression he had ever seen you wear. eyes wide open as you searched for answers in thin air, hands shaking, moving up to cover your mouth.
“hey” he whispered way gentler than before, urging you to sit down in front of him “it’s okay, it was only self-defense. you did kill them, but you didn’t murder them or anything, it was kill or be killed”
his words held so much confidence in what he was saying, you almost felt comforted. he really did master the art of bending the truth to his liking, didn’t he?
“i did it, what if he was someone’s father, or brother, or whoever else, what if i just destroyed someone’s world? he was a human being just as much as i am, i had no right-“ you started relapsing into panic, hands gripping on your hair, head moving down to hide between your legs.
only then did tartaglia notice the huge wound right across the back of your thigh, and several others. fuck, he instantly thought, whoever did it knew what he was doing, cut you in a very specific place, with intent to kill.
he couldn’t even fight back the wave of anger coming crushing at him, but bit his lip instead of saying anything. there was no way the both of you could get to a safe place in time.
he used to be so passionate about continuing to live, normally he would’ve just throw you over his shoulder and run, until his legs gave out, but now, he didn’t even have the energy to stand up. he barely could move his hand, and the more he tried to fight it, the more tired he became.
the feeling of helplessness was eating him alive, both from not having any way of providing you safety, and for not protecting you earlier, not to mention how he couldn’t find the right words to say to you now.
“listen” he started carefully, waiting for you to stop sobbing. “it’s painful, killing someone. it leaves a hole inside you that you don’t know how to cover. it makes your thoughts twist and fight back against you, it makes you want to leave your own head for how bad you feel. it sucks, believe me, i know. you didn’t deserve to have to feel this shitty. i’m- i’m sorry. for not shielding you well enough.” he said bluntly, not a hint of comfort or the usual beating around the bush that he used every time he intended to coax you. just pure, brutal truth. for once.
“it’s okay” you mumbled quietly. your head felt heavy on your shoulders, and you felt how it started to fall off its support. the numbness in your legs, this sort of stressful feeling of being constantly out of air- “i don’t want to die, though”
the sentence felt like a whimper, a cry of help, but tartaglia knew there was exactly nothing he could do.
“am i gonna die?” your voice felt a little stronger, laced with fear, and you lifted your eyes back onto him, in search of a “no” that you knew you wouldn’t find. “i’m gonna leave this world with killing a man as my last memory” you laughed bitterly, before laugh became a cry, and tears mixed with sweat on the surface of your cheeks. “that’s the worst fucking death i could ever imagine”
“baby, look at me” he asked calmly “come here”
when you moved to sit on his side, his hand, sticky from blood, intertwined its fingers with yours, and squeezed tightly.
“look. we’re sitting on a hill, under a tree, the sun is high up in the sky, a meadow below us, it’s a perfect date!” he laughed so authentically, you almost believed it was true. “we’re on a dream date, isn’t that amazing? and look.”
with that, he tilted your head towards his, and kissed you softly and shortly.
“i love you.” he said in the calmest manner he could force out “is that a better memory?”
you placed your head on his side, attempting to hug him even a little bit, tears staining his uniform even more.
“i don’t want to leave you.”
“i’ll be right behind you. guarding your back, like i always do. after all, i promised to always protect you, right? death won’t change my plans.”
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astrochemstry · 3 years
Note
Heeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy how are u? Can i please have some headcanons for the main four eddsworld boys with a reader that drink a lot of coffee with no sugar? Thank you!
Hello anon!! Doing good and Thank you for requesting :D this is an interesting request huhu
This can be interpreted as romantic and platonic
Gender neutral reader
EDD:
Scared
Intimidated
Why???
This guy loves cola
Sugar
Su ga r
And if hes drinking coffee, it hAS to have sugar
“How do you drink that???? Why?? whY?? How?” “with a cup and swallowing it”
Hes okay with it but just intimidated as hell
Especially since you keep drinking it a lot
“Im just concerned Tom, what if they die from all that Coffee?” “You drink Cola everyday- now find the answer.”
He makes coffee puns btw
“Hey! You better stop drinking a latte-” “oh theres a cup of coffee! Where has it bean your whole life?”
He even got Matt into it lmao
“Edd, we’re going to the mall-” “I can’t fully espresso my excitement!” “oh my god.”
He once broke your coffee maker and managed to buy another one
“Hey (Name)-” “Look, Edd, i don't-”
And then you see him holding the box for the coffee maker and a coffee in his other hand
“I made a pot of coffee, espresso-ly for you.”
What a dork
MATT:
Ah the ginger bread man
bro is terrified of coffee
If you thought Tord just punched him
weLL GUESS WHAT
BRO POURED COFFEE ON HIM
STEAMING HOT COFFEE
Not on purpose tho
Matt and Edd tried to scare him and he was drinking Coffee so
Anyways
He does think its bad for you to drink A LOT of coffee
“(naaaaaameee) stoooooop!! That coffee is distracting you from my beautiful face!!”
Uh he tried it once actually
When he got zapped by that gun which makes u forget?
He saw ur coffee and went “oH????”
He uh didnt know how to make coffee with the coffee maker
So he just drank yours
Hes runNing around hES up the rooftoP HE brOke ur coffee maker and probably at Eduardo’s house now
In the end he swore to never drink coffee again
He woke up at a dumpsite after he didnt feel so energetic
But i mean he can be unaware sometimes and he doesnt even realize hes drinking your coffee
He wonders why theres ‘mud stains’ on his face after he leaves the kitchen
But deep down, somewhere,
He knows.
TOM:
Ehh hes just neutral about it? but
Concerned tho abt u drinking coffee a lot
Very concerned
“Im just concerned, Edd. I don't want them to die after some- coffee crash-” “Ok- didnt i talk to you about this before? Also you drink smirnoff all the time.” “Touche.”
Hes the one hiding the coffee from u whenever it gets too much
Tried to hide the coffee maker, broke it but managed to get away with it actually
But felt guilty and did tell the truth to you
Tord drinks coffee too and youre coffee buddies and hes uh
“Stay away from this guy hes dangerous” “we’re literally drinking coffee?”
Yeah not after The end
CouGHCOUGH COUGH SNEEZE
I mean it could be expected he hates the coffee bcs Tord drinks it too buuuuut
that aint gonna stop him from trying new things just bcs some guy he hates drinks it too, hes a mature guy
Anyways
Hes tried it before and he drinks it only when hes feeling tired
Vv tired and stuff
One time Edd got everyone (except Matt) to drink coffee with sugar
Actually i mean mixing it with his Cola
Yeah
Tord didnt like it, tasted weird but he felt REALLY energetic
Though the aftermath wasnt so good
Edd, of course, loved it but said “still not better than the real thing.”
And actually Tom likes it too
“Not like smirnoff buut, its good.”
He actually drinks with you from time to time since Tord went off
Hes pretty chill abt it tbh and sometimes forgets you drink a lot
TORD:
Like the last three, concerned but
Hes just yolo, your life, your problems, your pain tbh
He drinks coffee
Not that much like everyday
I mean when he was still livin with the guys
But since he left and went around to make some thing
Cough
He stays up a lot to finish a project
coUGH
So he needs coffee to energize the fuck outta him
Though it doesnt affect him that much now, cant be energized with something hes tasted for like 365 days and 2 years
So before he went away
You guys drank coffee together
Like you and him will get out of your rooms and make coffee
“Tired?” “very.”
And yk just chat about stuff
Pretty chill stuff until you get close
Bro starts making challenges
Even worse than cola in coffee
“I think i can sneeze the coffee out of my nose- hey lets try it whoever does it fir-” “oh my god”
Actually he started selling some of them using your coffee maker
Managed to make a couple of cash
But he broke it
Yes all 4 of them broke your coffee maker equally
He used his recently gained money for it lmao :’)
Actually you don't see him much with coffee
Most of the time he drinks it inside his room or at early mornings
He invites u to hang out tho
Coffee and bird watching
Until he shoots one
Pretty good shot tho
oK so he leaves the gang to pursue a dream
COVUUUCHHCHGHCOU GH COU GH
You guys keep in contact through skype, zoom whatever app you wanna use lol
You guys just drink coffee with cameras on while working on stuff
And having a convo
“Hows the gang?” “same old same old, what about you?” “eh, been alright.”
And uh after The end, bro still drinks it
But it aint making him energized
Oh boy does he wish he didnt ban cola
Co U GH
Overall, very chill with the coffee and he doesnt drink it with sugar either
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akuutaguava · 2 years
Text
FUCKI I CANT POST ANYMORE SHIT ANYWAYS I LOVE YOU TIMBLR AND THE PEOPLE ON TUMBLR HAVE A GOOD REST OF UR DAY
SHIT IM ACTUALLY NOT GOING TO SURVIVE WITHOUT WRITING WEIRD THOUGHTS
Ahahahahaha im gonna have to rant on insta i hate life good bye
Better idea: type on this post and this post alone lets see how chaotic this gets
I am queercoding rn
IVE BEEN FEELING HUNGRY THE WHOLE DAY TODAY AND THE MOMENT I CAN EAT I DONT WANT TO WHAT KINDA FUCKERY IS THIS
actually sobs ive seen so much i want to reblog
I hate this godamn limit whatthefuck
Now people will go back to this random post and can’t see my posts popping up every two minutes
FUCK YEAH CASAVA CHIPS :D
My thoughts need to be documented even when i cant post on here
This used to be a post abt me talking abt killjng peoples dogs but who knows anymore
SOMEONE HMSSAVE ME AH
I HAVE A LOT OF ACCOUNTS THAT I NEED TO POST ON WHATTHEFUCK
SHIT THESE CASAVE CHIPS ARE SO GOOD
Bussing bussin frfr
I hate the people who made me not be able to type anything here today shie, apollo, ghoul im talking to you guys /j okay dw
Tempted to go bald and really embrace the mental illness
My mandarin caused havoc on like seven people today lmao
It got everywhere holy shit
Actually about to fucjing cry i hate nkt being able to post shit whathefuck its only been a day but WHY
Found out one of shed eerans songs is like the most famous song in the world and i actually want to end my life oml
Im going to play bsd mayoi to distract myself from this sad fate
AXTUALLY SOBBING TUMBLR CAN YOU STOP PLAYING AND JUST LET ME POST SHIT
FUCK YOU TUMBLE
just kidding haha only joking ily bbgorl
Phobic? You think im scared
Parents will be like don’t do drugs and then make you want to do them
Boutta die im talking abt liking hot evil dilfs what has my life gone to without tumblr
Physically pained
Mentally drained
JESUS CHRIST I NEED TO SNEEZE BUT I CANT I ACTUALLY HATE THIS
Gender? Isn’t that a spice?
ACTUALLY FML MY COMPUTER IS 12% IM GOING TO CRY AL MY CLASEES REQUIRE A COMPUTER TODSAY FUYCKM
yet another day with a substitute who hates my guts for no reason (she has a reason) 
im probably going to go home i feel actually so sick rn 
WHATTHEFUCK I JUST SAW A MEME MY TEACHER SHOWED US IN IT WAS SHAKESPEAR GOING “i put the lit in literature” THATS IT IM JUMOING OUT THE WINDOW 
art = are
dost = do
doth = does
'ere = before
hast = have
'tis = it is
'twas = it was
wast = were
whence = from where
wherefore = why
nay = no
twas over yonder
LMAO FUCK TOU SCHOOL I’M LEAVING
OUT OF THAT HELL HOLE :D
Actually so happy i don’t need to do science now fuck yeah
GAH I FEEL LIKE SHIT LMAO
Im pretty sure everyone thinks im skipping fuck you guys im not
THE CICADAS ARE STILL HERE FUCK
I hate the invention of long hair we should all just cut off our hair my ling hair sucks
Stopped to say hi to the ants :D
What a great lifw we would have if we were all just… orbs floating through space
Now is not a good time to be walking on a bridge over a highway
We made it off the bridge without commiting ded :D
I hate walking slow holy shit
Time to go die in my bed because i can’t really post on here anymore and that makes me sad and want to die
Tumblr media
IHATEYOUIHATEYOU GO DIE IN A HOLE
AHIT AHIT SHIT AHIT SHIR MMY PARENTS WANT TO WATCH BUNGOU STRAY DOGS HOLU SHIT THEY WILL ACTUALLY HATE IT AND ME AND EVERYTHING AND MAKE ME SELL ALL MY MERCH HOMY SHIT IM ACTUALLY GOING TO DIE WHATTHEFUCK SOMEONE HELP
I need another post for that but tumblr is a bitch
ACTUALLY FUCK I SLEPT FOR LIKE FOUR HOURS I WAS SUPPOSED TO FUCKING STUDY FOR TEO TESTS HOLY SHIT AHHHHHH WHATTHEFUCK SOMEENE AHHH NI U HATE NOT BEING ABLE TO POST HERE WHATTEHECUKDS 
I WOKE UP AND I ACTUALLY FEEL SO SHIT LIKE I FEEL LIKE NOTHING MATTERS AND THERES NO POINT IN LIVING SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF THIS HEADSPACE 
BRO THE ONLY THING THATS BEEN KEEPING ME GOING TODAY IS WAITING TILL 12 AM SO I CAN FUCKING POST SHIT I JAT THIS APP
I ALSO CANT EVEN FUCKING MAKE DRAFTS AND THAT MAKES ME WANT TO UNALIVE 
dont mind those last posts, anyways three more hours until you guys get mass chaos :D goodbye for now and i’ll see you when i can actually fuckin post
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