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#what a weird thing to try to humiliate someone who is otherwise just minding their own business
aashi-heartfilia · 5 months
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The hypocrisy of Jinshi and MaoMao
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*light novel spoilers*
I just love how hypocritical MaoMao's nature is. She yells at Jinshi for being a 'Masochist' and yet we see that she's no different. Now, by definition Masochist is a person who drives sexual gratification from their own pain and humiliation, plus it relates to Jinshi's tendency to do self harm (like burning his skin with a brand)
And what is MaoMao's most favourite thing in this world?
POISON
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She literally takes pleasure in consuming it and no one can convince me otherwise. Plus she uses dangerous plants and animals and snakes whatnot in the name of her so-called experiments. Her dad may call her a 'mad Scientist' but that is a direct indication of self harm.
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And she calls Jinshi a Masochist.
I mean, think about it! The amount of anxiety she gives to Jinshi! She came prepared with a vomit inducing medicine but even she had no idea whether it would work or not. She was just hoping it would work in the salt chapter.
And the same goes for her hand, on which she has conducted countless experiments. One flower even burned her skin and its marks never left her skin. She said it was all for her hobby. What kind of weird hobby is that? Maybe, our little adorable mad scientist is just like that.
One brands his own skin, while the other takes heavenly pleasure in consuming poison.
So my point is, Jinshi and MaoMao are not that different as one might think they are and that's why their dynamic works so well.
Let's look at the excerpts from volume 5:
She didn’t know how long they sat that way. All she knew was that Jinshi was looking down at her with a faintly triumphant expression, as if he saw that the breath had reached every corner of her body now. He wiped away the tears that had sprung to her eyes as she struggled to breathe. It was then that Maomao felt a flash of intense anger. “I said that if you were going to kill me, you should do it with poison,” she told him. “I refuse to let you poison yourself,” Jinshi said, his fingers tracing her lips. “You can’t pretend you didn’t know that you were one of the candidates. As much as I’m sure you’d like to.” He wasn’t done, either: “Who was that man, anyway? I’m sure you’re not a dancer.” So he had been watching them! “I was just paying for my drink,” Maomao said. “It didn’t cost much.” She tried to look away, but with his hand on her head, she really couldn’t.
Jinshi just choked her and yet he refuses to let MaoMao poison herself. A lot of people misinterpret this scene, and don't like it all that much, saying it was just fanservice stuff but this is how I see it: Jinshi wasn't trying to kill MaoMao, he was just trying to make MaoMao submit to him for once (even if the way he did it was very wrong, but guess he's kinky like that). MaoMao is actively trying to harm herself and Jinshi loves MaoMao a lot, he cannot just let her kill herself.
It was more about him trying to exert his dominance in their weirdish - complicated relationship and that also backfires on him as we see in the next volume that MaoMao escapes Jinshi's grasps using Pairin's techniques.
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And then they both continue to avoid each other in the entire next volume! Because they both realised that they have crossed boundaries.
They both are hypocrites.
And they both refuse to accept their feelings.
In one of the later volumes, she gives Jinshi a piece of her mind on how he should tell her everything clearly, unequivocally, what he feels, and he literally declares that "he will make her his wife", which is nice and all but look at the wording MaoMao used here....
Excerpts from LN Vol 7, chapter 19 called "A man and a woman play the game"
"You’re forever telling me I need to use my words, Master Jinshi, but are you in any position to criticize? Everything you say to me, everything you do, it’s like it’s calculated to save you from ever having to actually say what you mean! To make me figure it all out! You know, you remind me of someone. You act exactly like a man who used to come by our brothel all the time. He was in love with one of the girls, but he would never just come out and say it. He thought it should be obvious from the way he acted. He was so sure he had a good thing going with this woman that he never sent her so much as a letter. I remember how forlorn he looked when someone else swooped in and snatched her away! He kept coming to the brothel after that—to get drunk and whine to the ladies. Well, in my opinion, he could have avoided all that heartbreak if he’d told the woman how he felt. Clearly, unequivocally, so that she knew where they stood. It was the least he could have done!”
Everything came out in a torrent. She felt like she’d said it all in one breath. It was strange, she thought, to hear so many words come out of her own mouth. She was mystified. Jinshi was no less startled, but the shock soon left his face, replaced by something else. He got up off the bed and stared down at Maomao.
Shit. Now I’ve done it. She’d given him a piece of her mind, and he was about to give her one back.
“So I should be clear, should I? Unequivocal? I should say what I mean? If I did, would you actually listen to me? Is that what you’re telling me? I’m going to hold you to that! Right this minute. I’ll say it all. Don’t plug your ears—listen to me!” He grabbed her hands as she was in the process of trying to put her fingers in her ears. He took a breath. He was looking at Maomao, but somehow he seemed almost embarrassed. Finally he managed, “Now listen to me, y—I mean, Maomao! Listen close! I am going to make you my wife!”
It's one heck of a chapter and I suggest you give it a go! The title of the chapter says "A man and a woman play the game" as if to emphasize the very fact that both Jinshi and MaoMao are playing the game.
Jinshi has never confessed his true feelings before this chapter and only implied that he wanted to make MaoMao his wife.
The implications were heavy though on Jinshi's part, and as smart as MaoMao is, anyone would have guessed that MaoMao was one of the candidates for Jinshi's consort. Even the clothes she received (the ones she wore to the banquet) were also provided by Jinshi along with the hairpin. It is never stated outright but seeing as the hairpin was from Jinshi, the clothes are also implied to be the same.
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More or less she's always deliberately ignoring the possibility of having anything to do with him, that is more than professional. Some may call it denial, I call it dense. Maybe, to some extent, she herself is not aware of her feelings because she never lets herself feel anything.
Even Suiren pointed it out pretty early in the manga, that maybe it's MaoMao's way of being reserved. We need to keep in mind that MaoMao is an unreliable narrator and it's more of what she does, rather than what she says that makes a difference.
Even in the chapter that I have quoted above, she had every reason to leave Jinshi, she wasn't working for him after all. But she stayed to make tea for him, even after the fact that she had a long day too. She was almost just as exhausted as Jinshi and yet she was there preparing medicinal tea, so that he could get a better sleep.
Maybe she herself is yet to realise just how deep her feelings run. Till vol 12 she seems to have accepted them, but she still is yet to acknowledge their depth. Maybe it's because of her childhood.
It's not a traumatic backstory but MaoMao had a sad childhood nonetheless....
She was raised by her grand uncle and her real father was eccentric, who scared her. Her mother must also appear to be kind of demonic to her, since she was desperate enough to cut MaoMao's Pinky finger and send it to Lahan. So it's safe to say that MaoMao never received proper parental affection. And adding to the fact that, a brothel is not exactly an ideal place for raising a child.... especially when the birth of MaoMao was the one thing that brought the brothel to its knees...even if being born wasn't her choice.
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Plus MaoMao stated it herself that when she was a baby, no one would come to sooth her until their work was finished, implying that even if MaoMao and her brothel sisters are close, they are not that close. A mother's love is different and she never received it. No one can love you more than your mother and MaoMao was deprived of that. She soon realised that no one was coming. Life is hard and she has no choice but to face it!
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So, she got interested in poison.
Maybe she doesn't love herself or her life as much as she says / pretends she does. She's always like "yeah, I would very much like my head to be with my body" and "if I stay low profile maybe I can survive here" etc but maybe deep down that's not the case. Maybe that's why she loves poison so much. The implications are crazy.
And to break MaoMao's shell, Jinshi has no choice but to be a bit more forceful at times? At least that's how I interpret that choking scene. Jinshi was angry at MaoMao because she deliberately suggested him to marry consort Rishu and danced with Rikuson.
Even if Jinshi never said it outright, he was giving hints the entire time.
But well the tables turned and MaoMao topped him instead, lol (vol 7) and later we even see that our little stray cat has accepted Jinshi and she's ready to be in a relationship with him (vol 12).
Plus she is intrigued by the process of birth (she wants to eat her baby's placenta, it's kind of uggghhh.... but anyways, that MaoMao we're talking about, she's just weird that way)
Maybe not after too long she'll realise that if she has to give birth, she can only have it with Jinshi and no one else.
~Sunshine
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nyaagolor · 1 year
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Very silly chart about the sv characters and weed
Protagonist: your mileage may vary but mine only befriended Koraidon because she was high as shit and thought it was a really big wingull
Nemona: She took those anti-drug PSAs to heart. Not only does she think marijuana will kill you and has never smoked before, but if she saw someone else smoking she would put out their joint and give them a stern lecture. She's still student council president at the end of the day and she will NOT tolerate la hierba diabla
Penny: Being a stoner transfemme catgirl furry is basically a prerequisite to being a cybersecurity expert at this point. This woman has DEFINITELY played Minecraft while high out of her mind
Arven: He is completely unfamiliar with weed outside this one weird brownie recipe he saw online once, but good lord he needs some. Get this man an edible immediately he needs a nap and a release from the cruelty of existence
Sada and Turo: Got the idea for the time machine while high, this is a hill I will die on
Jacq: He has enough cortisol in his bloodstream at this very moment to kill a small mammal, I think he needs something to chill him out. He's so air-headed that it probably won't affect his outward behaviors anyway
Miriam: Medical marijuana was getting popular so she got curious and tried it, telling absolutely no one. She hated the cotton-mouth feeling, so she hasn't touched it since, and says she's never tried it when people ask
Dendra: She's an athlete and they drug-test so she couldn't try it even if she wanted to (and trust me, she wants to)
Saguaro: He was never interested in it because it smells bad >n<. Try as he might to hide it, he's a bit sensitive and didn't want to be around something so stinky
Salvatore: He was in the poke-netherlands once on a study abroad trip and rolled the worst blunt of all time. He was so thoroughly humiliated that he didn't even end up smoking and was asked to leave. The memory still haunts him. He doesn't like to talk about it
Tyme: Smoked a few times when she was a teenager and hanging out with Ryme-- ironically in their youth, it was Tyme who was the rebel! She hasn't done it in a few decades though, it's not really her thing anymore
Raifort: She'll try anything once, but didn't like the feeling of being so sluggish and tired so she didn't do it again
Clavell: You know that video with Clavell as Dwight? "Clavell finding marijuana is more dangerous than most people smoking it"? Exactly that
Katy: Smells too bad for her to even think about trying it. Also she's petty and too many people asked her if she can bake weed brownies, so she avoids it on principle now
Brassius: He's a grass gym leader, what do you think. Also I hc he has a chronic illness so he takes it medically to help with the pain. His studio smells downright rancid
Iono: Got high on a since deleted stream. She ended up staring directly into the camera for like three hours and falling asleep drooling, which was so embarrassing that she erased all records of the stream from existence and swore never to touch it again
Kofu: This is a man who looks like he would make MEAN cannabutter. He just has the vibes
Ryme: Smokes sometimes at parties and other social events, but not all that frequently. Grandma's still got it, plus it helps calm her down before a seance
Tulip: Tried it once after being offered it at an afterparty, but didn't like how it made her feel. She likes to be at the top of her game At All Times and this was not the way to do it
Grusha: Takes it medically for his chronic pain, but that's about it. Wouldn't use it otherwise
Rika: Just look at her.
Larry: Tried it one (1) time and didn't like it. Prefers regular cigarettes
Poppy: She's four.
Hassel: He ran away from home to be a musician he definitely had a stoner phase. Also he's besties / husbands with Brassius, so he's more than familiar with weed. I think because he's a schoolteacher and works with kids he doesn't do it much anymore though
Geeta: I'm honestly not sure how she fits into this, only that she's on the Nightmare Blunt Rotation of every Paldean
Giacomo: He can pretend all he likes but he's still a student council president at heart, he is mortified by the very concept of smoking weed. Someone offered him a joint at a rave and he lectured them for a half hour on the importance of caring for your body. He may look like a stoner but do not be fooled
Mela: Acts tough but she's kinda scared of the prospect of smoking weed. Don't tell anyone though
Atticus: He heard about this ancient Johtoian technique of ninja relaxation and tried to hotbox his room once. This resulted in an academy-wide fire scare because he set off every smoke alarm in his hall. The director was less than thrilled about this. Rumor has it the smell from Atticus' homemade herb and weed blend still sticks to the walls
Ortega: His opinion on weed is irrelevant because no one in their right mind is going to deal weed to a 14 year old nepo-baby in a pastel pink suit
Eri: Actually shockingly responsible and healthy at the end of the day-- illicit substances aren't part of her workout routine. Will probably give you a look of disapproval if she sees you smoking, but ultimately that's your business
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itsbeaker-bxtch · 2 years
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Over-analyzing Vidcund pissing himself
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Vidcund Curious has this very unique and weird memory of him wetting himself. The next one is none other than his break up with Circe. Memories are supposed to introduce a character's past (and personality) to a player. The two events being so specific and so close together imply that one lead to another. It's all could be just a funny joke to emphasise how Vidcund is a pathetic Sims... but I think there is more to it...
So. Did Circe break up with him because of his accident? As I said, the two memories being mentioned one after another is not a coïnsidence. It's supposed to tell a story, otherwise, there would be other events in between. I personally consider the prima guide as a lore/canon bible and if we take a closer look, Vidcund accident may hide something more sinister. When describing bladder failure, the prima guide reveals that neat Sims will be disgusted and mean Sims will laugh. Well, unfortunately, Circe is both. If she saw the all things, this could have led to a break up. Vidcund, as the main victim, should have a short-lasting memory. Yet, he remembers it years after ! If this accident lead to such a life-changing moment, him loosing the love of his life- no wonder why it somehow became a long-lasting memory. I think there is little doubt to have about the link between the accident and the break-up, although if you are familiar with my theories, I think it was the last straw for Circe in a relationship that was doomed to fail. Now, there is something I can't get out of my mind: 
How and why did Vidcund ended up in this situation?
Let's read what the prima guide says about needs: 'Unless you're actively preventing a Sims from fulfilling her needs, and she has access to the objects she requires, you shouldn't normally see need distress ». So, two things here.
First, in TS2 Sims will automatically want/try to fulfill their needs. The question is, did Vidcund had access to a toilet? This may seem like a silly thing to ask, but it really bothers me. Like, where could he have been where there isn't even a toilet? All community lots in Strangetown have one. Let's not even mention residential lots. Did he somehow was so absorbed into something he « forgot » his need? Was he having such a fun time with Circe, he let his bladder go into failure? According to the prima guide, that's very unlikely. Sims who are near needs failure can't engage in fun activities and will limit social one to quickly fulfil that said need.
Second, what does the guide means by « unless you're actively preventing a Sims from fulfilling her needs? ». Did someone prevent Vidcund from going to the toilet? I really think that's what happened. All of this was a setup to humiliate our poor Vidcund. A coup elaborated by a very, very malicious Sims. Loki Beaker, of course.
If we look at Circe, Vidcund and Loki's memories, we can get a better idea of how their relationships evolved. Vidcund went steady with Circe, he had an accident, they broke up, Circe kissed Loki. Loki remembers becoming best friends with Circe before kissing her. Considering you need to know a Sims for a « long » period of time before having such a friendship, we can assume Circe and him became good friends when she was still with Vidcund.Circe and Loki relationship developed very quickly. I say that because in their adult life, the two were taking their sweet time building their love, they'd rather work on their careers... Anyway. I think that Circe and Loki went closer and closer as time went by and they soon realised how good of a match they were.The thing is, Circe is a very loyal girlfriend. I know you may think otherwise as she had an affair with Newlow, but she clearly stated that she was taking pride in being faithful to her husband. I'm sure Circe is a terrible and cruel person that have a weird moral sense. She couldn't be with Loki if she was with Vidcund, and Loki perfectly knew it. 
That's why he prevented Vidcund from going to the toilet, by locking the door (or even locking Vidcund himself) so he had no ways of relieving himself. Loki plan was perfect: bladder failure is a huge fear for Teen Grow Up Aspiration and would make Circe laught and being disgusted with her now ex. Even Loki’s name, referencing the god Loki, suggests this mischievous side of him. Also, that would explain how quickly Circe kissed Loki after her break up, the two of them being so close already.
That cruel joke clear the path to Circe's heart, making Vidcund seem like a loser who can't take care of his needs, leaving him with a mortifying memory that scared him for life. That also explains why he hates Loki that much. He took everything he had: his love, his reputation, his pride. His rival Being a better scientist than him, Vidcund hatred could only grow more and more.
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yandere--stuck · 3 years
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The god of sleep has no dreams of his own. When Hypnos sleeps, it grants him the opportunity of visiting those of others, drifting along as on a gentle river. It’s comforting. Shards and glimpses of lives that aren’t his own, of people and places that won’t ever mean the same to him, the visions indirectly threaded by his fingers. There are far too many dreams for him to make, which is why most aren’t. He brings them to sleep, and their bodies do most of the work.
Regardless, it is his domain. Every mortal needs to sleep, whether they like it or not, which makes him an inevitable part of their life. A third of every human’s day rests in his hands. As payment, all he wants to do is observe, to be in their company. (Hypnos likes humans. They don’t notice him in sleep, or worship him in their days, but he doesn’t mind. It’s easier to handle being ignored when it’s not their choice, when it’s impossible for them to notice him, rather than his mom’s cold eyes passing through him like he’s a sliver of mist.
At least when he’s among the dreams of the living, he’s less alone. There’s no judgement, but no praise either.) With how many mortals and dreams there are to go around, it’s rare for him to visit more than once. Though it’s much rarer for anyone to take note of him. Most people aren’t aware they’re dreaming while doing so, being swept along by their dreams instead of having control, but you’re not one of those. You’re blessed with lucidity, morphing bits and pieces of the experience as you go. Most importantly...
You see him. You laugh. “Well, I didn’t think I was lonely enough to make up some guy to keep me company… Guess you learn something new every day!”
In one motion, you pinch his chin between your fingers and pull his face towards yours. He lets out a surprised noise, at the fact you can touch him in the first place, and the movement itself. And it’s a high and squeaky sound, one that makes him want to curl up in his blanket and slip from this dream to the next. You make no comment on it, only smiling wider.
“Ooooh, your eyes are golden! So pretty… Glad my subconsciousness has good taste, at least.” You add the last part to yourself, laughing again.
You don’t think he’s real, just some made up character of your dream. It’s no surprise you aren’t aware that you can’t dream about someone you’ve never seen before. For now, he’s glad to have you believe that. It’d be more humiliating if you knew a god was making such a fool out of himself, heat rising to his face. His tongue is limp in his mouth. When was the last time someone called him pretty? Had anyone ever called him that, and touched him so carelessly? You save him from the burden of speaking up first.
“What’s your name? Do you have one?”
He hesitates. If you knew who he was, you wouldn’t treat him the same anymore. “I don’t! But, um-!“
Hypnos knows and accepts what others think of him, knows that he’s no good at his job or much else, but if there’s one thing he would excel in, it would be here. He straightens his back a bit from its usual slouch, the tips of his feet grazing the ground as he floats. “I’m here to make sure you’re going to have a grand old time, you know? I know aaaall about having fun in dreams! Why, you could call me an expert! At your service.”
He does this stupid little bow, and immediately regrets it. You laugh, but not at him, and people don’t usually find him this entertaining, he thinks, and if you keep this up, it will become one of his favourite sounds.
“Alright, mister dream expert,” You say with a grin. “What did you have in mind?”
He helps you float like he does, and assists you at conjuring up whatever idea pops into your brain. Hypnos expected you , but that’s not all you do. You try to ask him questions about himself, even if you supposedly don’t think he’s real, and you actually listen. And when you tell him about yourself in return, he does the same. It’s fun, he’s having a good time, and he’s disappointed when he’s jolted awake because of someone walking too close past him. He’ll have to apologise for suddenly disappearing next time. (Next time? Does he want there to be a next time?)
Hypnos makes a habit out of visiting you. You’re not always aware you’re asleep, sometimes your dreams are the same as any other human’s. He savours those days too, at the insights into your life it offers him. However, it’s most enjoyable when you look at him with bright eyes and talk to him, and laugh at things he says and joke around at this side. There’s a warm tightness in his chest around you, he’s happy, he is, but also impossibly nervous to mess up and have your smile turn into a sneer. It’s surprising you even still want to be around him, if past experience is anything to go by, he isn’t any good at not annoying people. But you’re different. You haven’t insulted him at any point, either! You must really be some blessing.
Hypnos thinks he likes you. A lot. He’s never thought of it before, whether this is allowed or not. Never considered the possibility of forming a close bond through dreams. Hypnos decides that it is, and who would he even ask, isn’t he the deity of sleep? He’ll make his own rules, number one being that it’s totally a-okay to have dream friends! That you visit and think about all the time and spend all your time thinking up new fun ideas for! And sometimes you scratch their name into the margins of your lists while zoning out! He’s getting off track. (And, well, this all seems more like a problem exclusive to him…) What he wants most is to have you down here with him, to touch you and feel something, to have you around while you’re awake and asleep.
But to do that... It would be an offense to all sacred rules to meddle directly with the path the Fates had set out for you. Perhaps they’ll have some mercy on him for being family. Either way, he’s going to falsify your cause of death in the records. He's tired of being a bystander in your life. Hypnos doubts whether you can even remember him when you wake up. He isn’t exhausted in his normal way however, it’s no tugging at his eyelids or yawns hidden behind an open palm. This hurts. It’s an ache, an empty hole beyond his ribs. Your warmth needs to fill it, he’s sure. He wouldn’t be able to stand and watch as your life blossomed, how you would inevitably love someone else, be happy and forget about him all together. (It’s unfair. He's never had anyone that wanted be anything of his. Not a friend, not family, not a lover. And now you’re here, the first to not see him as a disgrace, and now he should let himself be stopped by some old rules?) Because compared to what someone right there with you could give, what did he have to offer? If he believed everyone else, he had nothing of worth to give anyone. All he had was this love, what he thinks is love. But you laugh with him, you seem happy, and what he knows of human life is suffering. So many terrible deaths, so many unresolved emotions, so many wishes that never came to be.
Hypnos could save you from it all. You would never have to worry about anything again. But he knows how much humans fear death: It’s reflected so often in their worst nightmares, after all. The last thing he wants to do is scare you.. How surprised you’ll be at suddenly finding out he’s real, not just a figment of imagination!
He’s giddy. The two of you could have be together forever! (And if you didn’t love him back, why would you smile at him like that? Why did you always say you were happy to see him return? He has neither experience in friendships or relationships, but he shares those sentiments, so you must love him too. Otherwise… He doesn’t want to think about it .)
So he visits you. Hypnos floats above your bed, watching down upon you. He caresses your face as you rest, watching you through lidded eyes. You called him it first, but you’re pretty too. He doesn’t care about your hair being a mess, or the dried drool on your chin, or how you lay in a weird position, legs and blanket all tangled up. Your soft breaths are adorable, and he wants to coo at you, to make your face turn warm instead of his.
The thought of his brother seeing you and taking your soul makes him uncomfortable, he wants this vision of you to be only his.
Your eyes crack open with a little groan and before you have the chance to struggle or cry out, he presses a kiss against your forehead, forcing some of his raw power into your frail, mortal body.
It shouldn’t hurt. He asked. Your form was never meant to take godly powers, it’s too overwhelming, destroying you from within, and you go limp within a second. It’s like you fell asleep. A sleep so deep you will never awaken again. (i know hypnos doesn’t govern dreams his sons do but i had an Idea,, hope u enjoyed!!)
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(THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE OH MY GOSH!!!!! You're so talented, this is written so beautifully, it's amazing!!!!
I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!! SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO POST!!! I've had a busy past few days ^^; I also hope it's okay that I had to edit it, or it'd be a big block of text, hehe. Thank you so much again!!!! 💚💚💚)
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astaroth1357 · 3 years
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The MC is a Valkyrie
Demigod MC Series: Intro
Greek: Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades, Dionysus, Demeter, Athena, Hades Pt. 2, Poseidon, Ares, Hestia, Nyx
Norse: Valkyrie
A bit of a change of pace this time! No worries, I'm not done with the Greeks or anything. I just had this idea and wanted to get it out. 
Valkyries aren't really demigods, but are a part of Norse myth as the minor divinities that help choose and deliver fallen warriors to Valhalla to join the ranks of the einherjar (the souls who will fight when Ragnarok comes). Valkyries are depicted as women who are fierce warriors in their own right. Despite their place as the gatekeepers of the Chosen, they've been said to sometimes take heroes and mortals as lovers or take residence in Midgard posing as daughters of royals/nobility. 
Lucifer 
At first, they thought they grabbed an heiress - which would have been bad enough - but then the MC grew wings, drew a spear, and asked who among them wanted a glorious death...
How hard is it to find ONE damn human on Earth? Isn't that realm supposed to be full of them??
Diavolo was thankfully able to talk their winged friend down from skewering Asmo and accepting the exchange on behalf of the human wo-… Midgard. 
Living with a Valkyrie is different for sure. The MC is a proud woman who takes her role very seriously and she's seemingly deemed him and his brothers as candidates for einherjar (despite being demons).
He's tried many, many times to explain to her that they're not interested, but she's unconvinced. Now the MC watches his brothers like a hawk waiting to cart one of them off to Valhalla! Any mortal wound could be an excuse...
He's had to save Beel and Satan twice from getting dragged to that infernal palace… For whatever reason, she seems to have taken to them the most. Is it old Norse culture to favor the brash and strong? He has no idea...
At the very least, she knows better than to try to drag him into her little plans. Though he's sure he could qualify for the einherjar (obviously, why wouldn't he?) he has no interest in leaving his life here behind.
To think he'd actually have to put surveillance on his own brothers for their safety… But they're not going to get drafted into some ancient Norse war, not if he can help it.
Mammon 
She’s an heiress… An heiress!!
Well, her human world identity is an heiress to a well-respected (and rather magical) rich family but that still technically counts! She’s crazy loaded back there! He’s in love!!
The only problem is that in the Devildom she doesn’t have a cent.
… and the fact that she keeps trying to get him killed. That’s also a problem.
In a way, things are not as bad and exactly as bad as that sounds. The MC apparently wants him to go to Valhalla (dope) but she can’t just take him there… He technically has to die in some kind of “vallent battle” first.
Her solution? Pick fights with nearly anything that moves and drag him into it!
Honestly, it’s pretty annoying… Sometimes he just wants to have a fun night out without getting into a barfight, you know??
At least the MC can handle herself… Hell, he was her "babysitter" but she barely even needed him. A lesser demon once made the bad idea of trying to cup her ass and lost a hand for his trouble…
Though, what this amounts to is the MC starting something then fighting alongside him like back-to-back badasses while looking for any excuse to scoop him up and fly him to Asgard!
Why does he put up with this? Well for starters human world rich is still rich, all he has to do is get himself a portal then he's living the high life! And secondly, well… what's the harm?
Sure, she technically wants him dead but he's the secondborn! The list of people who can take him down is so slim that it's not like he's in any danger. She even fights with him so things are a piece of cake!
Is this a case where he's 100% more forgiving because she's rich? Yes. Absolutely. But a golddigger's gotta eat somehow, right?
Leviathan 
Is it weird to be jealous over someone not wanting you to die...?
Okay, that's an oversimplification but Levi can’t help but feel snubbed that the MC doesn’t have any interest in taking him to Asgard. Like, none! And why not??
He’s strong! He’s tough! He’s part snake too! Don’t the Nords have a thing about that? Like, there’s a giant snake they’re all worried about?? Maybe he could communicate with it!
Logically, Levi knows that he really shouldn’t press her on this… MC is pretty much a Grim Reaper with a Norse coat of paint and Asgard doesn’t really sound like his speed. No anime, no video games, not even cable! It’s just eat, train, and drink all day… Ew.
But still… What makes him an odd one out? 
At best, she just knows he wouldn't be happy there. At worst, she's underestimating his skill… or maybe she's gauged him just right? He's always known he was weak!! 😫
Oh well... at least she's not a bore to be around. Far from it. She treats EVERYTHING like a life or death trial - he's pretty sure that if he challenged her to rock, paper, scissors she'd commend him for his bravery and swear on her sisters that she won't lose.
He once made the mistake of inviting her and Simeon for a game of Devil Party and they both got so into it that they nearly had a duel to the death as a tiebreaker… 
Thank Devil that the game had a pre-programmed minigame for that kind of thing… It would have gotten messy otherwise.
Well, even if his other brothers go to Asgard, he can just chill out here with Lucifer and Asmo… right…? Actually, no, that sounds horrible! MC, he changes his mind!! Take him too!!! 😭
Satan 
How many times does he have to say that he doesn’t want to go to Asgard?!?
Well, okay that’s not entirely true. Out of scientific curiosity, seeing the godly realm of the old Nords would be fascinating but he doesn’t want to stay, which the MC seems to have trouble understanding…
He’s not even sure why she's singled him out for einherjar status… Any one of his brothers are powerful beings in their own right and he’s not particularly, uh, “even-tempered” himself...
His best guess is she saw him wipe out a handful of lesser demons at some point and declared him Ragnarok material. He always ends up throwing around at least three of those idiots a week so checks out… 
If he's being honest, her very existence raises so many questions… Does this mean that Ragnarok is real? Will the human world be swallowed up by the sea? Will the gods of Asgard fight and die as a new world is established? When??
Unfortunately, the MC won't tell him when it all will come to pass (he suspects even she doesn't know) just that Loki will trigger it… Someone keep tabs on that guy.
Until then, he just has to put up with her attempts to convince him but his patience is wearing thin… He's pretty sure he threw a bookshelf at her once but she caught it anyway so yeah...
He did challenge her to a proper duel too but… well let's say she's a Valkyrie for a reason and leave it at that. (Being saved by Lucifer was so humiliating… He's done here, move on already!!)
Asmodeus
First things first, she's gorgeous. Beautiful! Divine! (Literally 🤭)
Now that that's out of the way… She may also have a screw or two loose.
Like, he gets it. She's a Valkyrie and snapping up strong souls is her thing but come on… Mammon? Really? Why would he get into Valhalla instead of him, huh??
Why can't he get to go to the beautiful afterlife of the old Norse with all their strapping warriors, lovely maidens, and endless partying?? It's not fair!!
Ugh… and now she's got him sounding like LEVI! How frustrating…
Well, it may not be that bad. According to MC, he'd have to do battle training in Valhalla and that wouldn't really agree with his beauty routine. Like dirt, sweat, blood, and muscles? No thanks! Not for him.
He asked MC if he could get some kind of pass, but no dice… Maybe he could still convince her to let him vacation there… Or go for a visit? Just one? Surely that couldn't be so bad right?? He's heard that Thor looks NOTHING like people think he does and he's so curious!!
The closest he's ever gotten was challenging the MC to a fashion contest for a visit, but he dropped that idea quick when she proposed that they somehow include a wrestling match in the dressing room (and he knows she didn't mean the fun kind...)
As much as he'd love to get skin-to-skin with MC, the idea of getting locked in a chokehold was less appealing for some reason. 🤔
Ah well, he'll just have to make due admiring her wonderful body clothed for the time being… There's something to be said about muscular ladies, no?
Beelzebub 
So she’s almost convinced him to join the einherjar like twice now…
He’s not the best at making decisions when he’s hungry and the MC keeps hyping up the food… Apparently it’s really good up there and MC says that she’s never seen an empty platter... Just thinking about it makes his stomach do backflips.
Thankfully for him, Lucifer usually steps in before Beel can sign his soul away and reminds him that he can’t just abandon the family for a meal, even if it is a feast.
You'd think he'd be annoyed but Beel isn't really bothered by her habit of trying to bring everyone to Asgard. At least not on a personal level.
Like Lucifer, he doesn't want to see his family broken up so he'd rather she wouldn't… But she's a Valkyrie right? It's what she does. It's not like she can help it.
In a weird way, he also thinks she means well. She just respects them and wants them to have a good afterlife. It would be kind of sweet if they didn't have to die for it first…
If he's being honest, he's not that worried about it anyway. His family is pretty tough, not a lot in the Devildom can take them down. As long as they're careful, everybody should be alright. 🙂
Maybe he could get MC to make some Valhallan food for them in the Devildom… Or he could get one of those immortality apples?? Though those would extend his life wouldn't they…? Oh well...
Belphegor 
Belphie's attempt to kill the MC went something like this:
Belphie: *switches to his demon form* "I can't believe you actually trusted me!"
MC: *blinks* "Oh. So you want to challenge me then?"
Belphie: "What?"
MC: "Ah, now I see! You want to fight to prove your valor then die by my hand??"
Belphie: "What are yo-??"
MC: *summons wings and golden spear* "I like your spunk, demon!! Fight me with all you have and perhaps I'll take you to Valhalla! May you join us in our fight as a brother!!"
Belphie: "What the hell are you talking about!?!"
To his credit, he put up a good fight and probably would have gotten into Asgard if Lucifer hadn't intervened to save his life.
It can be said that the MC's Valkyrie-hood took Belphie completely by surprise. Sure, he thought she was a little weird for a "human" but challenging him to a duel to the death? That came out of nowhere!
His uneasiness about her only grew after he found out that she's been literally trying to get Beel killed! How in the world were his brothers so relaxed about this?? She's insane!!
So say what you will about the MC, but she's managed to do the impossible. She got Lucifer and Belphie to make up and work together on something! (i.e. making sure she doesn't send them all to their deaths)
Between Lucifer monitoring his brothers and Belphie watching the MC, they'll keep everybody in the Devildom where they belong. That's a promise!
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cuttoothed · 3 years
Text
For the second day of @jonmartinweek, mostly for the prompt "injury", though also a little bit "love confession" (by omission).
Set directly after episode 92. Content warnings for mild descriptions of Jon’s canonical injuries (blood, burns).
*
Things are...tense, when they go back down to the Archives. Actually, “tense” is probably an understatement, after finding out that Elias murdered not only Gertrude Robinson, but also the unknown man in Document Storage—who as it turned out was none other than Juergen bloody Leitner.
A lot to take on board, all in all.
Basira seems to have accepted her new employment status with eerie calm, and starts setting up at Sasha’s old desk (oh god, Sasha’s dead, has been for months), fetching notebooks and folders from the stationery cupboard and arranging pens and highlighters in a desk tidy. Daisy is nowhere to be seen—thankfully, Martin thinks, because she was even scarier than usual in Elias’ office. Melanie storms off into the stacks and there are sounds of shouting and things hitting the floor, which Martin is in no hurry to investigate. Tim sits at his desk with his feet propped up for about five minutes, then stands up and says: “Fuck this, I’m off to the pub.” He doesn’t invite anyone else to go with him, and Martin thinks their presence probably wouldn’t be welcome.
Jon arrives in about half an hour later, smelling of fresh cigarette smoke. Normally Martin would disapprove, but the way things are right now he’s tempted to take up a few bad habits himself. Jon looks...exhausted, defeated, his shoulders slumped wearily. His clothes are smudged with dirt, and there’s drying blood crusted around the injury on his neck; the bandages on his hand are starting to slip, revealing the angry, raw burns beneath.
Martin’s not sure he’s ever been so happy to see someone in his life.
Jon gives him a small, tired smile as he passes, then heads into his office and shuts the door. Martin knows that no sane person would try to go straight back to work looking like they’d just been through a war zone and still with an open wound; he is also aware that Jonathan Sims is the sort of person to do precisely that. He hesitates for a few moments, then makes a decision.
He fetches the first aid kit from the break room, and goes and knocks on Jon’s door. It’s a firm knock, a knock that he hopes says “I’m coming in whether you like it or not”, because it’s not beyond Jon to try to avoid them all for an extended period.
“Come in,” Jon calls, and even his voice sounds exhausted. When he sees Martin enter the room, his expression softens in a way that’s difficult to parse. Is he just relieved that it isn’t one of the others? Or is he actually pleased that it’s Martin?
It’s been two months since Jon went into hiding while suspected of murder, and the last time Martin saw him he had been quite sure Jon was planning to—to hurt himself, somehow. Before that, though, there had been a time when they were...well, close, in a way. Jon had let his guard down around Martin, in the midst of being so suspicious and afraid. He had trusted Martin, when he didn’t trust anyone else, had eaten lunch with him and talked about boring, ordinary things, the tight set of his shoulders relaxing just a little. He had even laughed, sometimes. It had been, despite everything, one of the happier times in Martin’s life, and if that’s not pathetic he doesn’t know what is.
“Hi, Jon,” he says.
“Martin,” says Jon, his tone soft. “It’s so—ahh, how are you?”
“How am I? You’re the one with a bloody great gash in your neck and looking like you put your hand in a fire.” Martin brandishes the first aid kit. “You really should go to the hospital, but I know it would be a waste of my time suggesting it.”
“Thank you for bringing that,” Jon says. “I appreciate it. You can just leave it on the desk.”
“Nope,” Martin tells him cheerily, setting the kit down and opening it. “I know you, Jon. If I leave it with you it’ll still be sitting here untouched tomorrow. Plus, I got my first aid certification when I was working in the library. It’s probably expired now, but I think it still counts.”
Jon looks as if he’s about to protest, but then he huffs a breath that might be a laugh, and nods in concession.
“All right then,” he says.
Martin snaps on a pair of disposable gloves and directs Jon to sit on the desk and undo the top two buttons on his shirt, so Martin can examine the wound on his neck. It’s shallow, fortunately, and the bleeding seems to have already stopped. Martin cleans away the crusted blood as gently as he can, though Jon still winces a few times.
“What happened?” Martin asks, as he smears on antibiotic cream.
“Daisy. She, ah, she decided that I was dangerous. Needed to be dealt with. Fortunately Basira was able to convince her otherwise.”
“Bloody hell,” Martin mutters. He’s not sure why he’s surprised; he’s always felt afraid around Daisy, like a rabbit being in the same room with a fox. But he just sort of assumed it was typical Martin fear of, well, everything. He never thought Daisy would actually hurt any of them. He applies a bandage carefully over the wound, and then turns his attention to Jon’s hand. Unwrapping the bandages reveals the red, blistered mess beneath, and Martin hisses in sympathy.
“Please tell me you went to the hospital for this.”
“I went to a walk-in clinic,” Jon says. “They cleaned it up, gave me some antibiotics and painkillers. They, uh, they did recommend I see my GP for follow up monitoring, and that I should get a referral to a physiotherapist, but, well, it’s been a busy few days.”
“Jon,” Martin sighs, exasperated, and Jon smiles a bit shakily.
“I know,” he says. “I will go to a GP, I promise. It’s just a bit tricky when you’re wanted for murder. Anyway, it seems to be healing rather well, all things considered.”
Martin considers whether to apply antibiotic cream, but the skin doesn’t seem to be broken, and he knows it’s best not to touch the area more than needed. Instead, he rewraps it with clean, dry bandages, being sure to keep them loose.
“How did this happen?” he asks, to distract himself from the fact that he is, technically, holding Jon’s hand. Jon gives a self-deprecating laugh.
“I, uh, I was trying to get information from a devotee of the Lightless Flame. This was her price.”
“The Lightless Flame? That cult—from the statements?”
“The same. As it turns out, a—a lot of things from the statements are real. Unpleasantly so.”
“I—yeah, I sort of figured that out when Tim and I got trapped in these weird corridors for days by that Michael...thing.”
Jon’s face blanches, his brows furrowing.
“You—god, Martin, I didn’t know. Are you—I mean, you’re okay, obviously, but— Have you seen Michael since?”
“No, and I hope I don’t.” Martin feels faintly nauseous at the memory. He doesn’t realize his hands are trembling slightly until the fingers of Jon’s hand, the unburned one, touch his wrist.
“I’m so sorry, Martin,” he says. “When I realized a-about Sasha, about that thing, I hoped I could take care of it myself, spare you and Tim. I never wanted to drag you into all this.”
“I don’t think there’s much avoiding it,” Martin mutters miserably. “And you didn’t seem to mind dragging Melanie into it, while you were on the lam.”
“I shouldn’t have asked her for help either. It wasn’t fair to put any of you in the position of aiding a suspected murderer.”
“I never believed you did it,” Martin tells him fiercely. “It just would have been nice to know you were okay, you know?”
“I know, and I’m sorry. I—I wanted to contact you, but it seemed too risky. I knew the police would be watching you, since we’re friends. Or—or at least friendly.”
Everyone I’ve talked to says you and him were close. Martin had been ridiculously pleased by the accusation at the time, and he feels the same now, with Jon’s injured hand cradled in both of his. Jon trusts Martin with his wounds, his vulnerability. Jon wanted to contact him; Jon thinks they’re friends.
“I—” Martin starts to say, and he doesn’t know if his next words will be I missed you or I worry about you or some humiliating romantic confession blurted out and impossible to take back. He draws a deep breath, and instead says: “I’m glad you’re back, and that you’re okay. I don’t have that many friends, I can’t afford to lose one.”
He says it like a joke, and mercifully, Jon takes it as one, and gives a relieved laugh. Martin realizes he’s long since finished bandaging the burn and is now just sort of...holding Jon’s hand; he releases it, reluctantly, and Jon smiles, lifting his other hand to touch the bandage on his throat.
“Thank you, Martin,” he says, hopping down from the desk. “I appreciate it, really.”
“As a token of your appreciation, you can go ahead and make a doctor’s appointment for that hand,” says Martin firmly, closing up the first aid kit.
“I will,” Jon says solemnly, and Martin believes him, but he’s also going to check in and remind him at the end of the day because Jon has a tendency to forget about trivial things like his own wellbeing. It’s just who he is, and Martin’s made his peace with it, like he’s made his peace with being utterly, hopelessly gone for Jonathan Sims.
“I was going to make some tea, if you fancy,” he says as he opens the door. “You look like you could use a cup.”
“Oh, yes, that would be lovely, thank you. Oh, and Martin?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m glad I’m back as well. I—” Jon hesitates a moment, then says: “I missed your tea.”
It’s not much of a declaration, but Martin understands what Jon means by it; for the two of them, it means a lot.
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mcheang · 3 years
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Exclusive
Edna Mode was a renowned designer, famed for her harsh but accurate critiques, her fierce and practical lines, and of course, being the designer of the majority of superheroes.
And now she was hosting a fashionista gala, inviting those worthy of a Mode gala. As for those asking for an invite, Edna just asks who they are and calls security.
Lila, as the self-proclaimed BFF of Ladybug, and Gabriel’s muse, had already boasted of receiving the glamorous invitation. It didn’t just come in an envelope, it came out of the sky in a rosewood chest, accompanied by a bottle of wine and canapés. (Or so she says. Adrien and Marinette rolled their eyes. Chloé wasn’t paying attention)
Alya: Girl, I’m so jealous. But hey, maybe this will be a good thing. After all, Adrien is going with Kagami. Chloe will just stick with her mom. That means it’s a chance for you and Marinette to know each other better.
Oh yeah, did I mention that everyone knows Marinette is MDC?
Lila forced a grin but didn’t want to make any promises.
Imagine Lila’s rage to know she wasn’t given an invite because she was just a model. Adrien was the heir to a fashion company. She was not.
With all the bragging Lila did, she can’t back out or Chloe and Marinette will call out her absence. (Chloé learned about Lila being a guest from Sabrina later from gossiping)
So, she stole Marinette’s invitation. She did some editing and made her own customised invite, brandishing it for her class to see.
Marinette saw her invitation missing, rolled her eyes and reported the theft to Edna. Plz, everyone knows Edna invited her. She didn’t really need a piece of expensive paper.
The day of the gala arrived, and Lila brought out her invite.
The guard looked at his clipboard. “You’re not on the list.”
Lila: No, but I do have an invite. Obviously someone must have made a mistake with your list.
The guard snorted. “If that’s the case, then your fingerprints and eye scans should have already been registered. That’s what opens the doors.“
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Lila gulped and thought about sneaking in with the next guest. But no such luck. Security made sure one person entered at a time.
As the security guard moved to push Lila back into the crowd of fans, Lila cried out that she knows Ladybug and Gabriel.
Guard: what’s your point?
Lila: You’ll be fired for this!
Guard: Yeah, yeah. I’ve heard this all before.
Another guard just scoffed. “You’re only a model. One of many in the industry. Miss Mode doesn’t care for models.”
Lila: what are models if not the face of fashion?
“Spoiled, stupid little stick figures with poofy lips who think only of themselves” Edna herself was at the entrance, wondering what was causing the disruption in her guest entrance flow.
Lila: How can you say that? Then why would Ladybug be my Best Friend?
Edna: the day Ladybug says she is your Best Friend is the day I wear crocs. And I don’t mean crocodile leather.
Edna points at a random guard. “You, get this so-called model out of the way. She is blocking the queue.
Oh by the way, Edna calling out Lila was caught on camera by the reporters.
One of them questioned why she was kicking out Gabriel’s muse when his son, a supermodel himself, was invited.
Edna: I did not invite the boy because of his face. I invited him because I saw potential (basically she realized he was Chat Noir. She would never invite Adrien otherwise. As seen from her quote, she doesn’t have a high opinion of models) That is, if he ever gets out of his father’s shadow. Because, let’s face it darling, what can Adrien do besides look pretty and play with swords and piano? You would think the boy would be in part of business meetings, but no. At this rate, Gabriel needs this gala to get out of that stuffy house. Realize that maybe his parenting methods are flawed compared to some other talented figures here. Look at Miss Kagami, focused on upholding her family legacy of fencing. MDC already knows how to run her own business after learning a bit from her parents. Even Audrey’s daughter has been joining in on becoming a fashion critic and throwing parties for political parties. But I must go, my guests await.
Back inside the party, guests were avoiding a seething Gabriel’s eyes. He had come to scout out the superhero guests, only to be called out by Edna on live tv.
Marinette went up to Edna and asked one of her fashion idols why she burned the Agrestes in public.
Edna: do you think Gabriel would change his parenting ways if we did not expose them to the influential figures of this industry, as well as the public eye? I guarantee you Adrien will be allowed more freedom of choice, lest Gabriel wants his son to be known as a coddled boy who can’t even make his own decisions.
Edna didn’t bother softening her sharp voice as she says these words.
Adrien flushed.
Quickly changing the subject, Marinette asked why Edna hated models.
Edna: it’s not that I hate them personally. I just hate their jobs and what they represent. Models nowadays are beautiful only according to the world standards. People who see them want to be like them, never mind that the models they see on the screen are airbrushed to unrealistic and impossible perfection. Now models focus only on their own appearance, trying to maintain their beauty as time ages them. They go on diets and become superficial. Whereas outside the modelling industry or such like, you don’t need to be stereotypically beautiful to be worthy. Where your worth is measured in kindness and bravery and talent and intelligence and anything beyond superficiality.
Adrien overheard and he frowned, not liking the idea where his appearance on ads is not exactly right. He only joined the company to make his father happy. But maybe it’s time he stepped into the business side of things and exit the modelling world. Bonus: no more Lila!
Edna snorted, “Though I must admit Gabriel surprised me with his newest model. Her attitude is lousy but she doesn’t strike me as a model. She just doesn’t have that model walk. But enough about the old man, my dear MDC, let’s talk about you. I love your gender-neutral line. And was wondering if you would like to join me in creating my next line of clothes for the Incredibles. A rare opportunity but I like style. Now take this offer before I change my mind.”
Marinette: wait, do I have to fly over or-
Edna: you are too excited, darling, but don’t worry, my assistants will send you the details.
Why are the Incredibles getting a new look? The kids are growing up and Edna wanted to move on to new styles.
As Marinette was flabbergasted, Audrey congratulated her for landing the job. Kagami and Adrien also beamed at her good fortune.
Even the Incredibles admitted they looked forward to working with her. Violet was a big fan.
Gabriel was seething and thought about akumatizing himself but come on, one villain against a room of superheroes? No thanks.
Drinking a glass of wine, he eventually admits that Edna had a point, however loudly and rudely it had been announced.
He would not be around forever and he wanted to leave the company in Adrien’s hands. In order for that to happen, his son needs to know business (if he can’t design, he can hire designers)
And yes, Lila was a lousy model. She survived by shooting with professional models who managed to overpower her mediocre work. But a deal was a deal. Besides, her contract was only for a year.
After the gala, Adrien happily quit modelling (aka Lila) to spend more time with his father, learning about how to run a company.
Marinette and Edna proudly claimed credit for the fashionable Incredibles.
Violet also became the talk of the school for her MDC exclusives.
Lila had been humiliated on air. Alya hesitated but finally did her research. At the end, she collapsed over the ruined credibility of her blog. But she can still get revenge by informing the principal, Ms Bustier and Mrs Rossi what Lila lied about. The perks of being a class vice president for a busy class president is that she also has the contacts list for emergencies.
Considering how Lila framed Marinette, there would be no suspension or detention. Only expulsion. Good luck finding a new school when Edna’s gala was a global topic.
When Lila returned to school for her last week (it takes time to gather evidence and get the attention of busy adults), nobody wanted to talk to her or even exchange glances. She quietly kept to herself, hoping for this to blow over soon. She was still a model working for Gabriel. She could befriend other supermodels (as if. Like they would want to befriend her after Edna called her out)
Hell, even her jobs were down. Gabriel just told her to take test shoots to fill up her portfolio until the hype died down (aka her contract expired)
When Lila was expelled, she was ready to be akumatized into Chameleon again. Except one problem. Everyone avoided her like hell so how could she kiss her target. Even Adrien was told to stay away lest his reputation be tarnished.
Ok, I admit it. I was hit by “I’m no Angel” quotes as I wrote this. But seriously, does anyone feel weird at the idea of trying to become thinner when your weight is just right, all the while you know there are people out there even thinner than you are and are starving, not because they want to be stereotypically thin, but because they cannot afford food?
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nightowlwriting · 3 years
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summary: fjord takes care of the mighty nein. you take care of fjord. (part 4/13 of the kindness series, a thematically connected series of c2/exu imagines)
word count: 2.7k
warnings: mentions of self-hatred, bullying, lack of self-confidence
note: idk why this one took me so long and, honestly, it was almost super nsfw lmfao
masterlist - request - support my work? - ao3
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Fjord is a man who appears to know exactly what he needs and when he needs it. You’re not so sure. You tend to hang back when the group talks to people, or finds jobs for coin, just to watch. That’s what you like to do - get information, tuck it away, use it later.
It just happens that sometimes you end up watching Fjord. There’s no reason, not really. He’s the leader by default, no matter how much Nott will say that it’s Caleb. He does most of the talk, smiling all coy and leaning against things to charm the party’s way through whatever Gods forsaken situation you end up in. It mostly works, with some exceptions. There are things you begin to notice in the nights after Fjord has failed to charm someone with a well-placed wink, or a sir or a ma’am. He makes the fire just a little bit larger, stacking logs and kindling and using his flint so that Caleb doesn’t have to use his magic. He cooks heartier food, sometimes even disappearing and coming back with a skewered animal from the forest to add to the pot of simmering soup. He takes the first watch and doesn’t wake anyone until halfway through the second watch so that everyone can sleep longer, even if it makes him crabby the morning after.
You come to a conclusion. Fjord takes care of people when he feels like he’s not enough. He overcompensates in his acts of kindness when something he does fails - but why? To make you all stay? To make sure you know his worth in the group? To make up for whatever he sees as a downfall? Honestly, you’re worried it’s a little bit of all three. You’re not really sure about how the mind works - that would be more for Molly, or Caleb honestly - but growing up in an orphanage with children who pick and prod at your every physical characteristic cannot be good for a person. Especially with Fjord insisting that he doesn’t have a last name, despite the times that he introduces himself and you see it die on his lips before he can say it. There’s something there, but you won’t pry. People deserve their secrets. They deserve to keep something for themselves.
If he wants to keep his last name, that’s fine with you. If he wants to keep the self-loathing inside of him until he explodes, well, that’s not fine with you. That’s why when you realize that he decompresses by making himself useful, as if the group might dismiss him just because a few people were immune to his charms, you decide to do something. No amount of reassurance from anyone will convince him otherwise and the rest of the group tends to shrug away from his slightly overbearing kindness when something goes south. Caleb, Beau, and Molly are just uncomfortable with it while Jester is usually too engrossed in journaling, Tusk Love, or talking to the Traveler. Nott is somewhere between Caleb and Yasha (uncomfortable and straight-up not around to be doted on.) And… Well, that leaves you.
It’s not that you mind Fjord’s constant doting after he perceives something to have gone wrong, but it’s hard to let him in. Your life before the Mighty Nein wasn’t exactly peaches and cream, either, but you know that he needs this. He needs to feel like he’s doing something for someone or he’ll break. You only notice that, though, after a particularly rough, rainy day of trying to get information out of people for a job. Fjord had forgotten something important which threw off the communication and sent everyone you were working with into an angry tizzy. By the time you make it back to the tavern, everyone is soaked to the bone and cranky, even you - and you tried your best to avoid getting out in the rain. What you really want to do is go back to your room and change out of your wet clothes and then go to fucking bed, but you hold back. The group disperses one by one until it’s just you and Fjord left at the bar, and before you can make your leave you see his hands shaking. His hands, which are large and calloused and strong, are shaking like a leaf in the wind. There’s no other outward sign that he’s feeling stressed or upset, and that surprises you. It also worries you. This is not how Fjord acts when something goes wrong. He doesn’t sit at the bar and brood over an ale - he mother-hens his friends until they’re sick to death of hearing his deep, drawling voice.
The combination of these things is probably what makes you pause halfway out of your seat, eyes narrow and trained on him. He makes eye contact for a brief second before looking back down to his drink. You know that approaching and asking him if he’s okay will get you nowhere but you can’t leave him alone at the bar, not when you know he’s stewing on every mistake, every misstep, whether they really happened or he’s just overanalyzing his movements. He’s your… He’s more than a friend to you, despite the fact that he doesn’t know that and you don’t show it outwardly. Fjord means too much to you to be able to let him sit and spiral into a funnel of self-doubt. You know that it will be weird to put your pride to the side and ask for help, but you also know that you don’t really need help.
But asking Fjord for help means that he’ll feel better and you think that’s a very good reason to shelf your pride for a night.
He barely looks up at you when you approach, still dripping all over the tavern’s floors and hesitant to speak. He doesn’t speak, either, just takes another long pull from his ale to bide his time until you leave. (Probably.) You take the leap first and say his name. “Fjord.” He doesn’t look at you. “I know we’ve all had a bad day,”
“You can say that again,” He snorts.
“We have,” You stress, one hand finding the hilt of the dagger on your waist for some sort of comfort. You’re wildly uncomfortable and can feel the urge to run, get away, flee building up in your gut. If you’re not careful, it’ll spill out your mouth and you’ll be forced out of the tavern for the night in humiliation and self-preservation. “It has been one hell of a day today. I do not want to be alone.” Your sentence cuts off briskly and Fjord looks up in surprise. Your face mirrors his - untamed surprise. You had really opened your mouth to ask if he wanted to find a table and listen to your vent but what came out was I do not want to be alone. You blink and think what the fuck? Before Fjord is shaking off his surprise and standing.
“I suppose I can give Molly the room for the night.” He extends an arm towards you but doesn’t look at you. He’s doing a much better job of hiding how strange you’re acting than you are but still, you’re not going to let this opportunity pass. You wrap your own arm around Fjord’s and he begins to lead you toward the stairs. “Anything specific bothering you?”
“Nothing really,” You hum as you respond, hoping that by allowing him past your walls that it will help him, “Today is just a bad day.” Fjord halfheartedly agrees and your nerves shoot through the roof when he leaves you at your door, explaining that he’s going to warn Molly that he won’t be in the room tonight. You nod at him and slip into your own room, leaving the door cracked so that he won’t feel awkward about entering. Your laundry is everywhere and you grit your teeth, doing your best to hold back a scream. God damnit, you’re about to have the man that you have a crush on in your room and today is the day you threw your laundry all over?
It doesn’t even matter that he’s traveled with you in carts where there is no possible way to not overlap on laundry slash unmentionables. You still dash about, shoving your laundry into a pile in the corner and covering it with your weapons and shield just before Fjord raps his knuckles against the door frame, calling your name. You shiver and invite him in, wringing your hands as you stand in front of the unlit fireplace. “Are you okay?” He’s so earnest and it makes you feel… A little bad. You don’t want to say no to having Fjord be with you overnight because his presence is so calming, but it’s also… He’s not in your room because…
Ugh. “Fjord,” You say before you can stop yourself, “Okay, so, you can’t be mad but I noticed when things go wrong you’re really, really hard on yourself and you shouldn’t be. And I also noticed that when you’re hard on yourself you dive into taking care of other people because, I don’t know, maybe it feels like you’re doing something good? I’m not sure, but I really meant to ask if you wanted to talk but then that came out instead but I can’t let you stay in here if you don’t know why I asked.” He stands there, taking in what you’ve said, and then shakes his head. Your room is dark - too dark for you to see whether or not the small smile on his face is actually there or if you’re imagining it. When he chuckles, you’re more apt to believe that Fjord is actually smiling even after the day he’s had. “Um,” You finally cut the silence, “Please say something.”
“You mean to tell me,” He drawls, stepping slowly closer and removing his chest plate. It’s like his mood has gone a full 180 from where it was when he left you outside of your room, “That you looked so awkward and like a li’l kicked puppy because you wanted to help me feel better?” He sets his chest plate on the table, coming into your sight as your vision begins to adjust. You don’t get a good look at what’s happening on his face because you look away very quickly, setting your jaw.
“Well, when you put it that way,” You grumble and cross your arms, “You just like to help people - it makes you feel better.”
Fjord comes to a stop in front of you and sighs, but doesn’t say anything. Your hands begin to shake and honestly, you regret your stupid fucking decision to try and help Fjord out. You wouldn’t be here, standing in front of him and purely humiliated, if you didn’t look at him and notice so much. He finally responds, one of his hands coming up to touch at your bicep and then trails up until he’s cupping your shoulder. “I do like to help people,” He’s speaking more from his chest than his mouth, and you can almost feel the rumble through the grip he has on your shoulder. It’s not tight but it’s there, heavy and comforting. “I didn’t think anyone noticed.”
“I notice a lot,” You supply, tugging your chin away when Fjord tries to use the other hand to make you look at him. It’s only after he says your name in a soft voice that you look. You’re surprised to see that he looks soft… Soft and fond. “Please,” You whisper, uncrossing your arms to grab both of his wrists. You’re not even sure what you’re asking for but the way that you whispered please is the closest to begging that you’ve ever gotten.
“Please?” Fjord says, sounding incredibly confused but soft at the same time. You shake your head, trying again to look away from him. He ducks down, catching your eyes again, “It’s just me, remember? This is why you asked me here, isn’t it? To help you feel better?”
To your horror, you feel yourself mist up. “I invited you here so you could feel better, Fjord. I don’t want you to be so hard on yourself, and the only time I’ve seen you calm down after a bad day is when you’re taking care of one of us. I thought… Even if I don’t really need to be taken care of, that would help you. I just want… I want you to feel better.” He steps closer toward you, caging you into the rough stone of the fireplace but doesn’t speak. You’re almost worried that Fjord is going to cold clock you, but then he does something that you expected even less.
He surges forward and kisses you. Every part of him nearly engulfs you - the hand on your shoulder moves to the back of your neck, anchoring you to him, while he groans deep in the back of his throat. Your hands scramble for some purchase to express your surprise, landing on his hearty shoulders, clenching in the fabric of his shirt. You sigh into Fjord’s groan, and press as close as possible to his body heat. No matter how much you don’t want to admit it, you’ve been craving this: closeness with another person, pressing tight against their body… You’d be lying if you didn’t admit that when you thought of that, of intimacy, that you pictured Fjord. You just didn’t think he pictured you.
Fjord surges forward again, and you feel the soft scrape of tusks against you when he opens his mouth to breathe, keeping his nose pressed tightly to yours. “I didn’t think,” He says, accent thinner than you’ve heard previously, “I never dreamed that you would feel…”
“Oh, I feel,” You tell him, slowly moving your hands until you can intertwine your fingers behind his neck, “I feel so much, Fjord.”
“You never said…” He sneaks another kiss between his words, dropping his hands to squeeze at your waist, “You never even let on that you see me this way.”
“I do a lot of looking and not a lot of showing,” You remind him - it was something he had said to you when you first joined his group. I always catch you lookin’, but you never show. It’s terribly funny because he’d said it while the Mighty Nein were all naked, sudsy, and sharing a bathhouse at Molly’s insistence. The group had a field day with that and still does. The memory is apparently still fresh in Fjord’s head because a blush creeps high over his cheeks and he looks away, flustered. “You’re strong and pretty and beautiful and you take care of us so well. Even when you’ve had a bad day. I look up to you so much, but at the same time I want, perhaps selfishly, to take care of you in ways that you might not take care of the group.” He almost looks surprised at what you’ve said, but then it melts into a look of soft adoration. Fjord kisses you again and then drags his lips lightly over the arch of your cheek before he rests his head on your shoulder where he inhales deeply, his breath tickling your throat. You can feel his hands contracting against your waist, like he wants to touch and feel but is settling for keeping them where they are and feeling the soft give of your flesh. You know your heart is spinning at what feels like a million miles per hour, and you know that he can probably hear it, too. You can’t find anything in you that cares, though, because you’re so close to Fjord. He smells like saltwater, you realize. Not in a way that it seems like he’s been coughing it up again, or in the ocean, but just sort of… Naturally. Like he’s always smelled that way. Like you’ve always known he smelled that way. Like you were always meant to know and to find comfort in it. You pull yourself closer, relishing in the way that you hold each other, and Fjord sighs. You can feel the way that he relaxes underneath your hold and you relax, too.
This… This is the way that it’s supposed to be. This is how you can do for Fjord what he’s done for your team - except different. Except more.
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astro-rain · 3 years
Text
delicate; b.barnes
chapter fourteen - “pinky promise”
delicate masterlist
word count: 2.1k
synopsis: bucky and the reader reconvene after the events of the previous night, figuring out what they need to do from there. pinky promises are endearing but they don’t prevent the effects of distressed regret & emotional frustration.
pairings: bucky barnes x fem!reader
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She awoke with wet regret staining her cheeks. She remembered falling asleep with shame, liquid guilt seeping out of her eyes. Slowly and silently weeping herself to sleep while drunk. What a colossal fucking mistake she made. She felt terrible, and she could only imagine how Bucky felt. She needed to apologize. Immediately.
She found that her shoes were still on when she got out of bed.
"Oh, Christ," she huffed at her messiness.
Regardless, she grabbed a jacket for protection from the chilly Wakandan morning air before rushing to the door, determined to find Bucky as soon as possible and apologize profusely for the previous night.
She opened the door but before she could dash out, she smacked directly into what felt like hard wood. Wait, no. The "hard wood" was a chest, and that chest belonged to a person... it was Bucky. Damn it.
"Sorry!" the two exclaimed simultaneously.
They both backed up.
"Y/N..."
"Bucky."
"Can we talk?"
"Yes. Please."
They awkwardly made their way into the room, eventually sitting side by side on the end of her bed. The air was quiet and void of their usual content and lighthearted atmosphere. Both of them sat staring straight forward.
"Bucky, I... I am so sorry about last night. I know being drunk isn't an excuse for being unprofessional, but I really have no other explanation as to why I'd ever do something so inappropriate. I feel awful and I can't imagine how uncomfortable I've made you. I will completely understand if you don't want to work with me anymore. I can talk to Shuri or T'Challa and we can find someone else to take my place if—"
"Woah," he turned to her, slightly alarmed. "Slow down, slow down. Who said anything about replacing you?"
"Well, I just thought after...last night, you'd rather have someone else work with you. It probably wouldn't be wise to continue treatment with me after certain... professional boundaries have been damaged."
"I'm not working with anyone else."
She looked at him bewildered, but he looked dead serious.
Y/N shook her head. "I—"
"Look, I'm not a therapist and I don't know the criteria of your 'professional boundaries'... But you were drunk. It happens. I don't think any less of you because you had a little too much. Believe me, I've been there."
"I know, but it's not necessarily the drinking that was the problem. It was... my actions."
"Right. And I don't think leaning a couple inches is really grounds for leaving Wakanda."
It was more than just "leaning a couple inches," and she knew that. She was humiliated by her drunken errors, but it was seductively dizzying to be that close to him. In the moment, she relished in every second, every atom of hers that was touching him. However, it was the afterthought that was the problem, the realization of what she had done and how wrong it was.
"Bucky..."
"I'm not working with anyone else."
"I'm not the only good therapist, you know."
"But you're my therapist. I don't want a new one."
"And I don't want to disrupt your progress, but there's no way I can keep treating you after last night."
"Why not? What's gonna happen if you do? Nothing."
"It's not that simple."
"Nobody was here. No one knows but us. There's no way you can get into trouble."
"It's not entirely about getting in trouble. It's about the nature of our relationship and how that change can impact how effectively and ethically I can treat you."
He was quiet for a minute, thinking.
He shook his head, looking down at his feet. "We can work something out..."
"I don't think so, Buck..."
"So you're just gonna leave then?"
"I think that's what needs to happen."
He turned his head to her, making deliberate eye contact.
"Y/N, please."
"All I wanna do is do right by you, and I can't do that after I've compromised our relationship."
"But you didn't compromise—"
"Bucky," she exasperated, "Can you please try to understand?"
"Can you please try not to be so hasty about things? Our relationship is fine. You don't need to leave."
Stubborn. He was being stubborn. But, all she could see was strong will and passion. That was the problem. All his faults morphed into aptitudes when they filtered through her perception.
"I really care about you, Buck. I just want you to have access to the help you need, and as much as I hate to say it, I don't know if I can be that help anymore."
"Can't we just try?"
"Try what?"
"Just... hear me out. We can continue the sessions as if nothing happened, and if everything is fine, then great, but if not, then you can go."
Is that what it would take for him to be okay with her leaving? Is that what it would take to make her departure less of a complete upheaval? There was no way this would work, she thought. But what were the lengths to which she would go to make the transition smoother? Was she willing to make sacrifices to help ease his hardships? She reflected for a minute.
For him, she would. For him, she considered, she'd do most anything.
"Okay," she said after brief contemplation. "We can try. But you have to keep in mind, the entire time, that I still might have to leave in the end."
He smiled, sincerity almost suffocating her. "Thank you."
"Promise me you won't be disappointed if I end up having to leave."
"You want a pinky, blood oath, or spit shake?" he asked, jokingly.
"Bucky," Y/N deadpanned.
"Well, it's not like we need to promise, because you won't have to leave... 'cause everything will be fine."
God, she hoped so.
"Promise me anyway. Just in case."
"Fine. I promise. You have my word."
She held out her hand to him, pinky finger raised high.
"Make it official."
"You know I was kidding?" he asked.
"I know. But you brought it up, so now you're payin' the price," she smiled, feeling herself momentarily slipping back into their dynamic. "Officially promise me with your pinky, James."
In acquiescence, he lifted his hand up to hers, pinky extended, and wrapped their fingers together. As it turned out, her hand had desires of its own and begged for additional contact. It yearned to smooth over the skin of Bucky's hand and press their palms together. Her hand wanted to intertwine the rest of their fingers and hold on ever so tightly. It wanted to hold on and never leave Wakanda, never leave his side.
As it also turned out, the hand is not the mind. These were surely not Y/N thoughts. Definitely not... Desires were kept repressed and no actions were taken. Sorry hand.
Their fingers stayed connected for just a few brief seconds of silence. Not nearly long enough for it to be awkward or for them to get second thoughts about the integrity of their agreement. Their fingers disconnected.
"So..." Bucky started, "are things gonna be weird now? With us?"
"They don't have to be, but I guess it depends."
"On what?"
"I don't know. Whether you're upset with me over what happened - which you have every right to be."
"Upset with you? No! Not at all. It seems like you're more upset than I ever was."
"I'm only upset because of what I did!"
"Well, I'm only upset because you're upset, so... stop being upset."
"I-..." she sighed. "Okay. I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry too. Are we good?"
"You don't have anything to be sorry for..."
"Just say we're good."
She let out a nervous laugh.
"Fine, we're good. I'm just surprised at how you're so cool with this."
"Well, friends bounce back quick, right?"
Her demeanor changed. The mood sunk.
"Bucky..."
"No, no. Don't sit there and tell me that now we aren't friends. You just pinky swore with me," he said with a meek smile, attempting to lift her mood back up. "C'mon, that counts for something."
She looked down at her hands, suddenly missing the skin-to-skin contact. "I just think it might be better to be more professional and less... personal."
"Better for who exactly? 'Cause I know it wouldn't be for me."
She turned her head to look at him, face earnest and contrite. He only looked confused and a little mentally disheveled.
"I want to make this new... plan thing work. If you don't want me to have to leave, we have to reinstate some sort of boundaries, Buck."
"So boundaries means throwing away being friends?"
"I'm not throwing it away. I want to make sure we can be successful, and to be successful we have to be a little more..." she took a breath in, hating how much she kept bringing up this word, "professional. We gotta have more good days than bad, you know?"
A few beats of silence passed them by. Bucky's expression softened to a dangerous level of sincerity.
"I think you are my good days..."
Y/N tore her gaze away. She couldn't do this. She wished he wouldn't say such gentle things; she was trying so hard. The tension in her heart began to frustrate her. And it was because of him. She wished her emotions weren't always so escalated in his proximity.
"How long were you outside for?" she changed the subject.
"All night."
"What?!"
"Just kidding. Only for a couple minutes. Why are you changing the subject?"
"I'm not."
"You really are. And you're uneasy."
Trying to deny feelings was harder when someone else called them out.
"Stop trying to analyze me."
"M'not analyzing. I'm just reading you."
Reading her?
"Reading me?"
"Yeah. You were looking at me, but now you turned away. You're bouncing your leg but otherwise you're completely still, tense, like you are when you're nervous. You're also turned away from me... kinda like you don't wanna be near me."
Yeah, because her heart felt like it was going to burst.
She stood up, walking away from him and his infuriating correctness. How dare he know her like that? Anger bubbled in her stomach. She faced him, arms crossed over her chest, as if shielding herself from his prying efforts to understand her personality. How dare he decipher her.
"Really?" she huffed, amped up nervousness morphing into irritation. "You barely slept last night, and it's not just noticeable because of the bags under your eyes. You do this thing when you're tired - you blink really slowly and then rub your eyes. It's subtle. How's that for reading? Oh, and you're more uncomfortable about having one arm than you let on. When you sit next to me, you always make sure to sit so that your arm is on my side. In fact, you're so bad at tolerating uncomfortable that you refuse to even think about getting a new therapist - even though it's the right thing to do - because you don't want to deal with the change."
She took a breath after expelling her vexation. Bucky stared at her with wide eyes, never before hearing her angry, much less at him.
"That's not why..." he all but whispered.
"You know I can tell when you're lying, right?"
"Apparently not," he rolled his eyes. "And I thought we made a deal."
"I think you should leave."
He looked up at her. "Y/N.."
She turned away from him, deciding she couldn't handle looking him in the eyes.
Glancing at the door, she muttered, "I'll see you at our next session."
"But— I thought..."
"A deal's a deal. I'll see you, Bucky."
The room was eerily silent until Bucky decided to move. She could feel his eyes on her, searching for something, anything out of her. Perhaps she was hasty, but there was no room for second thoughts, second emotions. She completely steeled herself. Feeling around him was just... a lot. A lot to deal with. Maybe too much.
"Okay," he said, voice quiet. "I'll see you... I guess."
With that, he left. He left her in an empty room with empty feelings and an empty hand. She looked down at that hand, the very same one that wrapped its finger around his in the lighthearted simplicity of a juvenile gesture. Joy with Bucky was like that - simple. Being happy was effortless with him. Yet, it was so troublesome to be displeased with him. She could sense another distressed night sleep coming her way.
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delicate taglist: @bakugouswh0r3 @thefridgeismybestie @strivingforelegance @ilovespideyyy @xpurpleglitter @bluelakeee @darkacademic2 @nickkie1129 @eclipsedplanet @paradisedixon @crazy-beautiful @coffee--writes @lauxrens @lilithknight1111 @buckybarnesishot310 @softladyhours @alwayssandy @quxxnxfhxll @those-sea-green-eyes @hero-ically @devilswaldorf @cc13723things @buckys1thiccbih @maravderofthephoenix
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writing-good-vibes · 3 years
Text
charles lee ray and carrie white friendship headcanons
a long but barely thought out list of headcanons because i am so invested in this concept. mostly these are about the positve parts of their friendship. added a cut just because it's a long post. more notes in tags.
i am a sucker for "friends who apparently hate each other but stick together because they have no one else"
this is exactly charles and carrie
well they don't hate each other
but from an outside perspective they don't seem to really like each other either
they only hang out because they are the biggest losers in school and no one else will talk to them
*creepy outcasts*
no one sits with carrie at lunch so one day charles does because her table is empty and he doesn't want to sit with other people
so he sits down at the other end of the table like "do not speak to me"
and carrie is just like, wide eyes, fear, "okay"
and that is the start of a beautiful friendship
weird kid solidarity
their reluctant friendship is a long time in the making, it takes months for them to even really speak to each other
slowly charles starts sitting closer and closer to carrie on their otherwise empty lunch table
until he starts sitting opposite her
she is split between being strangely happy that someone is willing to sit near her, when she has been banished from everyone else's table
but she knows what people say about him
he is No Good
even her mother knows that charles ray is to be avoided, he's a sinner, he's ungodly, he will lead her to sin if she even goes near him
but carrie sees something about him. she's very observant
she's already starting to question the morals and beliefs of her mother, maybe not everything will send you to hell ?? she wants to be normal !!
befriending charles is probably not the best route to normality, but it's something
she feels less scared at lunch knowing charles is there to watch her back
she starts reading while she eats lunch because charles is there to protect her
he would rather die than admit this but he would protect her if he had to
they start talking at first just about school stuff, charles is bad at doing homework and will sometimes get the answers from carrie for classes they are in together
one time someone tips milk over carrie's lunch tray as they walk past
but charles promptly sticks his foot out to trip them
"leave off her, asshole"
eventually he's like "you know, you can call me chucky, I prefer it"
he calls her caz
they both have terrible parents
unspoken agreement that they both Understand(tm)
carrie learns not to ask about it when chucky shows up to school with a black eye
this happened enough times for her to just be extra nice to him on those days (even though she is always nice)
she lends him books she think he'll like
usually ones that she reads in the library that she can't take home with her because her mother would Not Approve
her favourite recommendation for him is catcher in the rye
he brushes her off at the time but does actually read what she gives him
will mention something about it to her over lunch so she knows
her niceness confuses him
years of abuse have made him rough and mean, but carrie is still soft and good
she has the softness he wishes he still had
partly why he wants to protect her, she's like the sister he never had
as weird as he thinks carrie is, Chucky roasts her mom all the time to try and make carrie feel more normal
like "Yeah your mom's a religious nutjob, all her 'everything is a sin' shit? total bullshit. you'll be fine caz, you're the last person who'll be going to hell"
doesn't stop him from ripping on carrie too sometimes, like "will you quit following me around, I don't want people to think I like you"
will still walk to class with her
carrie manages to convince her mom that she has compulsory study hall after school, so she will be home late
goes to chuck's house when his dad isn't home (which is frequently)
carrie is surprised by the crucifix that hangs on the living room wall in the ray household but doesn't say anything about it
they listen to the radio because carrie isn't allowed music at home
they have very different tastes once carrie becomes familiar with what they play on the radio
she likes simon & garfunkel and the beatles
chuck likes black sabbath, pink floyd and led zeppelin
their song(tm) is sound of silence
he walks her home, but leaves at the corner of her block so her mom doesn't see because of the one time
one time he got too close to the house and her mom saw
carrie was in the cupboard all night
and a purple bruise bloomed over her cheek the next day at school
chucky doesn't say anything about it but he gives her a candy bar or something because that's what nice people do
when The Incident happens, he doesn't see her till the next day
"I heard about what happened in the locker rooms" he says when he sits opposite her the next day at lunch
"you did?"
"everyone did"
carrie is still obviously upset, but charles, as tactless as he is, is like "Why worry? everyone knows, now you can just move on."
she's like ??? "but it was so humiliating"
chucky, ever the gentleman goes "so what? you're on the rag and your wacko mom didn't tell you about it before, things can only get better from here"
she's highkey embarrassed to talk to him about it but he's surprisingly chill about the whole thing
honestly he's just used to the rumour mill and having people shit talk him so he wants to at least take some of the worry/embarrassment off carrie
in another life, maybe they would be together and have a normal life, but that's not what this life had in mind for either of them
(they don't even tell each other this, but secretly they think of themselves as chucky and caz vs. the world)
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shorkbrian · 4 years
Text
Fine
Prelude -  I had some more classes start today, so I will probably not have time for hardly anything. We’ll see. But please be patient with me, I appreciate y’all
Pairing - Izuku Midoriya X Reader
Prompt - @lbrownsugarbbyl mentioned in a comment that their birthday was a few days ago. Hope this suffices, I'm sorry I’m really bad at writing stuff for people lasjhlfhals
Warnings - NSFW, dub con, Pseudo-incest, pussyjobs,
Music - https://open.spotify.com/track/5XeFesFbtLpXzIVDNQP22n?si=kLjNx2bbTiWzW37DHZuB8Q
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It’ll be fine.
Everything’s fine.
That’s what Izuku tells himself everyday when he heads up to your room five nights out of the week, fresh from college. He knows your schedule, you get home half an hour before he does on Wednesdays and Thursdays, a full hour on Monday, Tuesday, and Friday. 
That gives you enough time to shower, brush out your hair, change into something comfy. Izuku always finds himself wishing he could give you one of his shirts, one of the large ones that would reach down to your thighs. He wishes he could see you wearing that, nothing else.
But Izuku understands that there are limits. Limits to what he does to you, limits to what he can ask of you.
You always find a way to push his limits, make his resolve crumble away into dust, thick dust that chokes him as he drowns in his sins.
Izuku spends almost all of his time in your room now, waiting for bedtime, waiting for when he can climb into your bed, lay down beside you, be close to you.
He knows he’s needy, maybe more so than what’s normal. But he likes listening to you talk to your friends on the phone with him draped over your back, likes sitting against your feet doing his homework while you do yours. Izuku likes being around you, needs your presence and your company to feel stable, to feel okay.
Things are different now, different because of you. He always used to be so anxious and nervous, easy to push around and bully. But then his mom had met your dad, and he had met you. 
You had been such… you had been a life saver, literally.  You were the one that had come up to the school roof while Izuku was contemplating following Bakugou’s advice to take a swan dive. You had his bento box in hand, presumably looking for your new step-brother to tell him he forgot his lunch. Izuku had burst out crying the second you opened your mouth, dropping to his knees and scrubbing at his eyes. It was embarrassing, humiliating, his head hurt and so did his heart. Everything was bad, bad bad bad, but then there was you.
Kneeling down beside him, using your sleeve to wipe at the snot and tears smeared all over his face. Pulling him into a deep hug, cradling his head against your chest, asking him to breathe with you, deep breaths, slow breaths. 
You never asked what he was doing up there - it was pretty obvious - even to someone new to the school - how badly Izuku was bullied. 
But you, oh, his beautiful step-sister, you never treated him like that.
You were kind, soft smiles and soft hands as you walked with him between classes. He forgot about the mean words and vicious jabs thrown his way when he was with you, instead focused on the way your lips moved as you talked, the soft, girlish tone of your voice. You were an angel in his eyes, both figuratively and literally.
All throughout high school, izuku stuck by your side, and you let him, encouraged him even. Let the male press into your side during lunch, let him squeeze next to you on the bus, let him follow you around like a lost puppy. He still had yet to hear a mean word, an insult, a derogatory remark towards him fall from yours lips. You were too good for that, his sister, his /savior/. College is when the problems started.
And by problems, Izuku means attraction. You managed to snag yourself a boyfriend, your attention shifted from Izuku and onto this new person. Someone else besides Izuku was taking up your time, and it hurt. 
It wasn’t hard for Izuku to spin lies about you to your “boyfriend”, to the idiot who thought they were entitled to your time. Something about using your boyfriend, about only being with him because he had money. Of course Izuku knew none of that was true - you would never! But Izuku needed you to himself.
He proceeded to subtly ruin every relationship you formed, even those that were just “friends”. All Izuku knew was that he needed you attention, all of it, no exceptions.
And you never figured out why you friends drifted away, why you couldn’t hold a boyfriend for more than a week before they were spitting in your face. It seemed like Izuku was the only one who was constantly there for you, through thick and thin. As time passed, it became easier to forget about trying to meet new people, easier to just be complicit and accept that Izuku was all you would ever need, just like you were all he would ever need.
He was there for you! Just like you were there for him, all those years ago. Izuku made sure to stress to you that you could go to him for /anything/. Homework help? He’s putting his glasses on and scooting over so you can sit down beside him at the dining table.  Trying to decide on dinner? Izuku will help, opening the fridge and offering to make something for you.  Need to run to the store for “feminine products”? Izuku is already shrugging his coat on, snatching the keys off the counter and telling you to go lay down, he’ll get anything you need.
He’ll do anything you need.
And he knows how long it’s been since you’ve had a decent orgasm.
Izuku convinced himself that he was just being a good brother, being a good man, as he bought you a vibrator. Your moans had sounded so forlorn in the shower, as if whatever you were doing wasn’t enough, like you wanted, no, needed more. 
And he knew that some would think it’s weird that he sits outside the door as you shower, hell, he could see you wrinkling your nose as he presented you with the vibrator. But it’s just Izuku, nervous, needy Izuku. You know how he hates being alone.
He’s able to convince you to accept the toy. And the next time you shower, he knows you’re muffling your moans in case he’s sitting outside (where else would he be?), but Izuku swears he can hear the quiet buzz of the toy, and he can definitely hear your delicious little whimpers as you cum.
It all goes downhill from there.
In some dark, cobwebbed corner of his mind, Izuku registers that it’s weird. It’s odd that he’s so obsessed with his sister, that he’s so attracted to you. But he didn’t want to be attracted to anyone else, he didn’t want to need anyone else.  And he certainly doesn’t want you having, wanting, anyone but him.
It’s fine, everything’s fine - He had said that first night, crawling into your bed with you. He repeated it softly as he slipped his hand up your legs, pet your cunt through the thin fabric of your pajama shorts. It’s what he had breathed into your ear when you tried to wrench his hand away, when you gasped at his boldness.
You knew how needy he was, didn’t you? This wasn’t weird, it’s fine, just Izuku missing you. Plus, he just wants to take care of you. Won’t you let him?
Izuku smiles into your neck when your hands stutter from pushing him away.
Everything’s fine.
The touching progresses. It’s only under the cover of darkness, under the cover of your blankets. It always starts with Izuku crawling into your bed, waking you up with a gentle kiss to your forehead.  No matter how much you try to tell him otherwise, Izuku knows you need this. He knows it feels good too, he’d done extensive research.
Playing with your pussy, feeling your juices slide down his fingers, rubbing and tapping at your clit, playing you like a fiddle. Occasionally a hand will reach up and tweak a nipple, massage your breast, send liquid fire thrumming through your veins. Izuku likes seeing you arch back, mouth opened and eyes rolled back in pleasure as his hands work you over. It’s almost enough to satisfy him. But he’s so needy. 
It’s one of his limits, he’s only gonna touch you. He’s not gonna take his pants off, he’s not gonna pull his cock out, no matter how hard he is, no matter how uncomfortable it gets. He doesn’t want to make you uneasy.
But just like his other limits, you shatter his resolve on keeping this limit firm. You’re just so wet and receptive to his touch, rolling your hips against his hand, muffing your little gasps and moans into your pillow. Izuku can tell you want more, that you need more, something thick and hot and soft pushing at you clit, something bigger than his fingers.
so it’s fine, everything’s fine as he pushes down his pajama pants, pulls his thick cock out of his underwear, lets it rest up against your pussy.
He has to clamp a hand over your mouth to keep you from screaming. Explains that he’s no gonna go inside, he’s just gonna help you feel even better. You’ll let him, won’t you? He’s made you feel so good already. 
When you hesitantly nodded, obviously not convinced but not actively fighting, Izuku smiles and removes his hand, pressing another kiss to your forehead.
When he wraps a hand around himself, the pleasure zings so fast up his spine that if he weren’t already laying down facing you, he would’ve fallen over. Izuku lets his cock head rest against your clit, lets the tip rub against your ltittle button on each quick stroke of his fist. 
He knows it probably isn’t as intense as when he stimulates your clit directly, but you seem to be enjoying it all the same, shivering and bucking your hips closer to him. 
It feels so good for Izuku, fucking into his tight fist, slide eased by your wetness, pressing the blunt, drooling head of his cock against your rosy little nub, making your squirm and moan so sweetly.
He cums right after you do, letting his cum paint the outside of your pussy, make it messy, adding to the slick wet that was already there. 
From there, izuku isn’t shy about pulling his dick out every other night. It becomes a common occurrence, pussyjobs and Izuku humping you, thick cock sandwiched between the puffy lips of your cunt. He never fails to take care of you - if you don’t cum before he does, your brother will always graciously finger you until you squirt.
It’s fine, everything’s fine as long as he doesn’t go inside, right?
That’s one of his limits.
It’s fine, he won’t cross that line
Hopefully.
733 notes · View notes
charmspoint · 3 years
Note
how was it ^-^
Let's seee. It was good, perfectly enjoyable, it reads fast and i was never really bored with it. I'd give most chapters like a 7/10 and then chapters 71-82 like 8 or 9/10 and then back to like 7/10 and the ending was weird but also kinda sweet in its own way.
Now to preface anything else: This isn't my type of manga. I can easily see it being a 10/10 for someone who really likes fight scenes and death and gore and what not. I'm not really into that, I'm a character and story driven person which is why the manga as a whole scored as just goodish to me while chapters 71-82 which kinda make a lot of emotional and psychological aspects of the chapters before them come to culmination scored a lot better. You know I don't GET fights. Chainsaw man was very gory but I didn't even really register it. Like because of all the gore I feel I heard people say it has horror aspects but I never really felt scared or off put or anything. It was just kinda like 'oh a lot of people are in pieces rn, okay, that's a thing that's happening'. So yeah that's why the score is the way it is, it simply isn't a manga that focuses on things I like and that's perfectly alright. I couldn't buy into the hype like I did with jjk and I certently didn't feel 'oh this is the best thing ever' like I felt with witch hat atelier.
With all that out of the way let me talk long and hard about Denji and sexual aspects of the series in a surprisingly positive light:
I like Denji as a character. I think he's still a bit rough around the edges but he's not a character made for introspection so that's fine, you really kinda have to take what he says and how he acts and think about it because the author won't do it for you. That being said, I think Denji is probably the most compelling shonen protagonist I've read so far. Like when I read bnha or jjk I see Izuku and Yuji and I'm like 'this is a shonen protagonist'. They are a likable character but they won't be your favorite character. They are largely made for japanese high school boys to project themselves on and I'm not a japanese high school boy. That being said, Denji feels like a character of his own and not something meant to be projected on to. Honestly if anyone projected on to Denji I'd be worried about them. But that makes him probably the most compelling shonen protagonist I've ever read. You just wanna dig a shovel into his skull and go 'man kid ur fucked up'.
I know when you first read csm you were off put by Denji because it felt like a manga put a pervert character as a protag which is naturally off putting and I can 100% see that. Now be it because I was warned about it first or something else, I didn't actually find fanservice jarring at all. It kinda was integrated into the world in a way that made me think 'yeah of course it's like this'. This is a very grim and rough and drty world and things in it would be just like that. It is a story about base desires and sex is one of those. These are people who expect they will die any day now and Denji is a person who's just now getting to experience a somewhat decent standard of living. Here's a thing I noticed though: even as Denji thinks many sexual things (which, he's a teenager, that's normal) he's actually very respectful. I don't think I've ever seen him touch anyone without their permission, in fact i think things like that mostly happen to him. Like example how Power comes in just as Denji is in the middle of his 'i wanna touch some boobs' phase. You would almost expect that what happens next is we see him try to grope Power as she's sleeping or something. But no, he doesn't do a thing until she asks him to help her save her cat and he gets to touch her boobs for it. And it's like this with p much every other sexual encounter through the series. Both partners are consenting and getting something out of the whole thing. Sexual aspects are used as normal bartering chips in a world where your whole body is a bartering chip. It's normal and no one is forced into it. I've told you before that my biggest misgiving with fanservice is that it's often based on embarrassment and unwilling participation of the girls. Like fanservice isn't fanservice because you saw a boob it's fanservice because you saw a boob when you weren't supposed to, when the girl didn't want you, when she's angry or scared or embarrassed because you did. A lot of fanservice feels very much like taking something from the girl, debasing and humiliating her for the sake of watchers/readers satisfaction.
Despite all it's sexual jokes and themes and everything else Chainsaw man never once made me feel like that. It never once made me feel like the author expected me to gain sexual satisfaction out of debasement of female cast. Which is why even though boobs and naked women are literally all over the manga I didn't mind it at all. It stopped being fanservice and became just a natural part of characters lives as sexuality and sex is a natural part of real world.
Back to Denji.
So I mussed a bit about Denji and Maslow before but here it is in total
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Denji is 16 years old and at the beginning of the series he's just starting to have his physiological and safety needs met. Like he doesn't live like a human being at the start of the series and Makima recruiting him is A BIG CHANGE for him. Like for a good while Denji is like 'Now I have three meals a day and a place to sleep at so I'm good with whatever'. He's given reliable sources to fulfil his needs and he's given a way to keep those sources stable. He has a job, it's not a good job but he has it. He has a place to live and a theoretical safety net. He's immortal so there's nothing to fear in the death and injury department which means the otherwise unsafe job is perfectly fine for him. Now what Denji gets stuck on through most of the series is Love and Belonging. Because you can't just give someone love like you can give them food (not that Makima doesn't try). People are more complicated. Compromises need to be made and human connections are hard to establish, especially if you are someone like Denji who has no idea how to interact with others aside from obeying orders. This is why his need for love and belonging first manifests as a sexual need (that and he's an allo teenager). Human connections are hard but sexual contact doesn't have to come tied with connections so it's easier (if unsatisfactory as Denji finds out with Power) to achieve. A lot of Denji's personal growth is tied to him finding out that this need can be fulfilled by other things alongside sex. This is why I love chapters 71-82 so much because they are really a culmination of Denji's emotional journey in that category. Along the way along with sexual love he finds romantic one. He wants to spend time with girls he likes, he wants them to like him beyond the sexual. Of course sexuality is always an aspect of it but after that scene with Power it's never the only thing. Human connection, understanding the other person, knowing them, loving them, making them happy. And it all culminates in the familial love he finds with Aki and Power, taking care of someone and being taken care of for no other reason than they are your family and you love them, you care for them, you want them to be well and happy. There's this scene with Power later on when they are taking a bath together and Denji is like 'huh we are both naked but it doesn't feel naughty at all'. He's stopped seeing Power sexually because he started to see her as his sister and it's just really nice, those few chapters we get to see them as a family are really nice.
By the end of the series Denji starts checking off the esteem box too, by people accepting him and loving him and him feeling like he wants to respond to that, but I feel like that aspect and possible self actualization will be more explored in part 2.
There you have it, my essay about why Denji is the most compelling Shonen protagonist I've ever read :)
Also I really liked the girls in this series, it really isn't afraid of letting it's female characters be weird and gross and in Makima's case just plain evil and I appreciate it for that. I just wish Quanxi got more time and things to do but she's a side character and it's not her fault she's cooler than the whole main cast (Power best girl tho).
I feel like I talked a lot already about what was my most important take away from the whole thing but yeah, in general: pretty entertaining read, would probably be a complete blast for someone who's invested in fights, a little thin on psychology and emotion for my tastes but when it delivers them it delivers them good.
Also I like how it basically ended on 'you should give people more hugs' it was cute
Additionally I think the authors idea to basically release manga in seasons like you would an anime is straight up genius I hope that more mangakas start picking this up because it allows them more rest in between big arcs.
Ok now that's it for real this time.
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ofmythsandmadness · 3 years
Text
stop moving | d.h
you do diego’s eyeliner. 2k words.
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NOTES: gender neutral. long haired diego. i don’t know why i’m writing this and i kinda hate it lol, i rarely write this sort of thing but y’know. i’m going to check all messages, notifs & messed gems in the morning, i’m really only posting this and ghosting again, bc i know otherwise i’ll never do it. and y’know, i want to feel productive about something. take care folks <3
BUY ME A COFFEE HERE. | CHECK OUT MY OTHER WRITINGS HERE.
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"CAN YOU PLEASE STOP MOVING?!”
Hot breath stings your trembling fingers as Diego huffs a laugh; it’s barely a sound, a mumble of a chuckle, but you feel it vibrate through your body and hit your hand and it almost does you in. You almost just give up and confess your undying attraction, right then and there. And as though you need more contact, even more of him pressing against you, egging you closer to the precipice that will surely be your infatuated doom. 
“You’re the one who asked to do this, you don’t get to complain.”
“Well, you wanted it. You agreed to this!”
“I--” another exhale against your hand, another peal of laughter following shortly. You've half a mind to clamp his mouth shut with it, if it wouldn’t ignite yet another ill-thought fantasy of yours. “This was still your idea.”
Your smile buds and blooms despite your brain begging your lips to be still. You can’t help it; he’s too good at weaseling into the cracks of your composure. One look, one soft chuckle and you’re set for life. It doesn’t help that you’re basically on his lap, cradling his face in your hands like he’s a baby, and his own fingers tap-tap-tap away on your hips, creating a rhythm no one else but you can make out. Honestly, you’re surprised you haven’t totally cracked yet, this close and this personal.
“Shut your eyes.”
“They are shut.”
“No they’re not!” you poke lightly at the fluttering lids. Your lip snags on your bottom lip; a poor attempt to hide a giggle. “I can’t do this with your eyes open.”
“D'aww…” his lids shut as he groans. “So I’m just supposed to sit here? Let you draw on my face in total darkness?”
You click your tongue, half in disapproval in his exaggeration, and half because you’ve won yet again against his stubbornness. “I won’t be long. Suck it up.”
“Sure. Y’know, I have siblings; I know how long it takes them to do makeup, and-”
“-stop moving, asshole!” Your free hand tugs ever lightly on a strand of hair, one of the many that’s slipped out of his ponytail. Repressed thoughts flash in sultry red across your thoughts and you swallow, quickly letting the hair go. “I-I need you to stay still, or this will take forever.”
Diego sighs and his grip tightens around your hips. Before you know it, he’s moving you. “Then stop wriggling,” he grumbles, flattening you against his legs. You’re basically straddling him, at that point, and your mind goes absolutely blank at how much more intimate this feels. Does he notice? Or is this just another friendly motion you’re yet again reading into?
Your mouth tastes of cotton balls and it’s dry as an Arizona summer. Still, you manage an ‘okay’ before readying your pen again. All you can hope for is a steady hand, though by the way he still holds your waist, and how your mouth lingers mere inches from his lips -- well, you’re coming undone.
It’s just eyeliner, you tell yourself. Your hand rises and swipes; black begins to pool its deep colour against his lashes, low and thin. The line builds taller, thicker as you work, extending out to the corner of his eye. As he breathes, and you try to remind yourself how to, the eyeliner pen works its shaky magic and draws the slightest tinge of a wing against his skin. 
“How’s it going?”
At least he’s kind enough to mumble it, though his face still shifts under your hold. Once more your tongue clicks. 
“It goes better when you don’t speak.”
He swallows his laugh; you know, because you feel his throat work as you hold his head steady. It’s strange and exhilarating, to be so close and still so far away. You want to cradle his cheeks gentler, to hold his face with the heart of a lover, but you’re terrified he’ll recognise your touch and realise your feelings. So you barely touch him and remind yourself to be professional about this.
It’s eyeliner, not a rom-com.
“I’m bored,” he whisper whines. 
“Shh.”
“It’s too quiet.”
“Shut up,” you mumble, patting his cheek gently. “M’working.”
“Y/N...”
You pull away and sit back on his thighs. His left eye doesn’t look half bad, but if he keeps talking… “You can’t talk, ‘else it’s gonna look bad!”
“Then you talk!”
You baulk. “What?”
“I’ll be quiet,” he swears, pouting up to you with eyes still shut, “but please, say something before I lose my mind.”
“Well, I-I-what about?”
“I don’t know. Anything.” He smiles softly. “I like hearing you talk. Don’t care what about.”
You could die right then and there. It’s a simple compliment, it’s really the bare minimum, but you’re already head over heels. And just a couple of soft spoken works are all you need to do you in and nearly keel you over, still straddling his muscular thighs.
“Uh…” you cough, forcing out the giddy tremble that threatens to take your voice. No lovesick teen voice today, thank you very much. “Okay. I don’t have much to...well, the other day, I saw my coworker totally wipe out leaving work.” You pause, expecting some reply, but he stays silent. “And he... he ate so much shit, he might as well dunked his head in a gas station toilet. And - and you know, normally I’d try to sympathise, but when you always make a point to park in my parking spot, I don’t care. Brett’s such an ass. And I don’t blame him, cause he’s got an asshole name -- Brett can’t be anything else but an asshole. So it's his parents fault probably but still, I…”
You continue on, slipping from the topic of your coworker to the free muffin you got with your coffee last week, to the prospects of buying a pet to keep your apartment less lonely, and to what probably felt like a thousand and one things ranted at him. All the while your hands continue, making neat work of a task that had just felt impossible.
And miraculously, aside from a chuckle thrown now and then, Diego stays silent. Maybe he actually means it. Maybe he does like your voice -- or he’s so bored he’s falling asleep, you don’t know. But it’s okay, you don’t let yourself linger on that, too content with taking in his relaxed features and the gentleness of the afternoon sun on the two of you.
“Aaaand….there!” With a triumphant shout, you throw the eyeliner to the side and your hands plunge towards the sky, fist-pumping like you’d just won the lottery. Your body bounces up and down on his lap like a child meeting Santa; in your excitement, you barely notice. “You’re done!”
“That’s it?”
“Yup.” You grabble for a mirror, looking away from him for a moment as you reach for the handle. Wiping it off, you’re focused solely on making sure the glass is clean enough for him to see himself in, and your brain is distracted enough to totally forget what you’ve even done, enough so when you look up, all you have is,
“Oh.”
Look, you know Diego is an attractive man. You’ve known since the day you met; he’s a beautiful guy, a handsome asshole who wormed his way into your befuddled heart before you could even learn his name. He’s pretty enough that if he wasn’t so set on his weird vigilante career, he could probably shoot for being a damn supermodel. He’s a catch! But all those years of knowing that and feeling like that could not prepare you for the sight in front of you.
Diego squints at you, cocking his head. “Is it okay?”
“I…” Delicate black lines his upper lash line, making his deep brown eyes stand out even more. He’s smiling still, full lips curving up to only make your heart pound faster. A strand of his hand falls across his face, painting the gentlest of shadows but it doesn’t bother his pretty face. “I...no, no, yea-ah…”
“Wow,” he laughs, jabbing a finger into your side. “Eloquent.”
“I-I-shut up,” you stammer. You force the mirror into his hands and look away. You’re still on his lap, still straddling his lap and the logical part of your brain begs you to get it together and fall off, already. But the stupid, foolish, absolutely idiotic part leaves you paralysed. “Just look for yourself.”
You squeeze your eyes shut and wait for him in the silence. There’s nothing, though, for achingly painful seconds, until the mirror shifts down. “Huh.”
“Huh, good? Or bad?” 
“I wasn’t expecting this.”
“Really? What’s wrong?”
“It’s not bad,” he assures you, his smile evident in his tone. “Just different. Don’t know how to feel about it.”
“O-oh...well, if it makes you feel better, I think it looks great.”
“You do?”
Oh, dammit. That came out with way too much enthusiasm, didn’t it? Your legs are concrete as you shift, face angled towards the floor. Hopefully he’s strong enough to push you off him when your body literally catches flame from humiliation. 
“You look good man,” he mocked back to you. But he’s grinning, egging you on like a child who knows he’s got you twisted around his pinky finger. “Come on, say it like you don’t have a gun to your head!”
And maybe you do, maybe you’re holding the revolver to your temple, just asking to get screwed if you dare speak beyond the most stilted compliment you’ve ever extended to someone. He’s a friend, you remind yourself; friends are allowed to compliment the other. They’re allowed to say they look good and not make it a thing, even if they wish it was a thing, and--
“--hey? You in there?”
“Sorry,” you say to the floor. You swear a thousand curses before looking back to Diego. And, yeah -- he still looks impossibly good. The ageing afternoon sun falls just perfectly against his skin, flushing him into the being of a god, standing in your apartment while you, a mere mortal, remains stuck to his thick thighs.
You gulp in air desperately, trying to catch your gaze on something, anything else -- but nothing sticks. He’s still there, inches from you, desperately aching for you to stare at.
“No, uh, yeah. You look - you look hot.”
Wait.
That wasn’t--
“-I look hot?”
That isn’t what you were supposed to say.
“I,” you have literally nothing to save yourself. This is the end! You’re young Leo and Rose is shoving you off the door and into the icy waters, and you’ve just got one last look at pretty Diego to satiate the freezing burn before you succumb to it. “I...wasn’t...that wasn’t what I meant.”
He has no right to look so smug. But he does it anyway. He leans away from your hands as they flutter through the air on their own accord, looking at you through half-lidded pools of caramel. “You don’t think I look hot?”
“Don’t,” you warn, with little strength behind it. “Don’t twist my words.”
“I’m just asking.”
He leans back in. You’re almost touching again. 
Is this weird? This is definitely weird.
You swallow back the lump in your throat and stare back at him. This all feels like fifth grade all over again -- awkward, sticky and like every move is the wrong move. But you can’t stop yourself from playing into his hands, because that sly, shameful part of you wants this more than will ever be admitted. You want him to look at you like this, like you could hang the stars if he asked you to...and you want him to pull you closer, as he does, and mean it.
Could he?
“Would you hate me? If I thought you looked hot?”
Diego head cocks to the side as he seemingly contemplates your words. A nudge meets your side; you look down to see his hands once again reaching for you. Though it's on their own accord this time, gently landing on your left hip, then the right. You shiver.
“That depends,” he says slowly. His eyes narrow, black wings just barely crinkling in. “D’you mean it like, ‘oH, that’s so-oo hot, woW-’”
Your laugh is hardly a whisper. It cracks even before your lips. “Come on.”
“Or, do you…” his fingers dig in a little more. They nudge at the fabric of your top, daring it to move enough so they could cradle the flesh hidden underneath. “You mean it the other way?”
Heart in throat, all the courage you can possibly muster with it, you mutter, “the...other way, probably.” Then a second later, “is that okay?”
“Mm…” His fingers finally reach your skin. You shiver under his touch, warm and unflinching as they brush against the soft curves. Diego’s face comes towards your own and you force yourself not to move. But he doesn’t stop, instead he goes past you, brushing his plush lips against your earlobe. “I would say...that if all this took was making you do my eyeliner, I shoulda asked years ago.”
“I, okay...don’t play with me, here--”
“--I’m serious,” he protests lowly. His lips leave your ear but they don’t run far. Instead, you find them a brush away from your own, just as you were minutes before. Only this time, you don’t try to clamp your mouth shut and skirt away from the touch. You nudge your nose against his own, exhaling softly as more skin meets the heat of his own. “You think I just let anyone sit on my lap like this, without thinkin’ it could be more?”
You shrug like this is normal. Like you’re perfectly at peace with the universe and the way you’re wondering how his tongue would taste, pushing back against your own. “I mean...do you?”
“No,” he chuckles low. “No, I’m...not into friendly lap dances, actually.”
“O-oh. Mm.”
He pulls you closer. He wants you closer.
“Diego…” You’re unravelling. You’re fucking unravelling, unnerved by his voice and his hands and you’re putty in them, all inhibitions sliding away like you’re three drinks in. His hands by your sides leave their marks against your skin; you can feel the pads of his fingers, burning into your skin like they were molten iron and not just mere brushes. “I...”
“Tell me.” He sounds cocky. He has a right to be, even if you’re damned to admit it. “Tell me what you think.”
Your hands shiver up his forearms, clinging to his bare shoulders as he pulls you impossibly closer. Your mind’s going a mile a minute and you refuse to listen to a single thought. You’re only feeling him.
“Y/N…”
“Fine,” you huff, with a smile. Your noses brush again; your eyes flutter shut with his image imprinted against their lids. “I think you look...hot as hell, Diego.”
“Yeah.” He’s grinning; you can hear it in his voice, that smirk that makes your gut flip like a damn rollercoaster ride. “S’what I thought, baby.”
And then he kisses you.
A/N: i normally hate writing oblivious characters but this wasn’t even intentional really. every time i try to write something remotely sexual i just lead the reader into ‘oH tHiS iS jUsT wHaT fRiEnDs Do’ and ‘iT’S wEiRd rIgHt’. to my defense...i doubt you’re on this page reading this expecting good sexual tension. i’m not the tua writer for that; let me know if you want recommendations for that because trust me, there are better authors for that. for now, you get this. <3
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