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mooncurses · 2 months

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To add to the current trend of calling out the bullshit that Zionists spout, here's a collection of not so fun facts for my friends outside of Italy.

Some of you may have heard of how Ghali, one of the most famous singers in Italy who is of Tunisian descent, has been criticized by Israel's Ambassador to Italy Alon Bar, who accused him of spreading hate just because he called for a ceasefire in Gaza. Then to remind us all of how much of a grip on the balls of our entire nation Isr*el has, a letter recounting the October 7 happenings was read on air to "balance" things out politically speaking (as our useless Deputy Premier and Foreign Minister stated, whatever the fuck that means). On his part Ghali responded with confusion and honesty, simply saying that as an artist he's always going to use his platform to talk about what he thinks is important, besides the fact that he's always been supportive of the Palestinian people since he was a kid (thus reiterating how their struggle has NOT started on October 7). In no part he ever invoked anything but peace, and yet he sparked controversy.

Of course what this episode merely sheds light on is the shameful and blatant climate of selfcensorship that has taken over the Italian mainstream media. It's not even an isolated accident: just days prior another contestant of the Sanremo festival, Dargen D'Amico, was attacked by the mainstream press after he dared take a minute after his exhibition to remind everyone that with our silence we are all complicit in the deaths of countless children right now. Sure enough he was forced to apologize "for getting political" the very day after.

To protest this cowardly and disgusting attitude that has become the standard in Italy, a peaceful sit-in was organized today in Naples in front of RAI (the public TV network that broadcast the Sanremo festival and that is funded with tax payers' money). After the protestants tried to hang a pro-Palestine banner on the fence of the building, police brutality quickly ensued and several people got hurt after being hit in the head with batons (you can find a video of the whole scene unfolding here).

So the thing here is that you can see how the top brass of our government desperately wants us all to just be complacent in the killing of Palestinians at hands of Isr*el. Much like what happened with the bombing of Rafah carefully made to overlap with the Super Bowl, the pro Isr*el Western governements very much hope that our silence can be bought with as little as good old panem et circaenses. And I've gotta say, at least in the case of Italy, it's almost like in doing so they forget how we young people were taught about genocide in the first place.

They drilled an acute awareness of what genocide looks like into each of our heads throughout our whole grade school life. We would hold our yearly minute of silence for the victims of the Holocaust on Remembrance Day without fail, we would read "Se Questo È Un Uomo" by Primo Levi as early as eight grade and analyze it thoroughly. We would study Hannah Arendt's philosophy while focusing especially on her ideas about the banality of evil that she witnessed during the Nuremberg Trials. Most high schools organized mandatory conferences with Holocaust survivors as speakers and visits at the local synagogue, as well as extra curricular activities (I'm talking weeks long train trips to Dachau and other concentration camps while accompanied by members of survivors associations and historians) to further spread awareness about the horror of the Holocaust and make sure that we would never let it happen again, that we would take a strong stance against it if the situation ever called for it.

And now we are living through the first genocide that's being documented live for the whole world to see and yet apparently nobody can say nothing about it. The countries that so far have taken a strong stance against Isr*el are so few it's absurd considering the enormous amount of damning evidence of war crimes, human trafficking, and ultimately ethnic cleansing that Isr*el is carrying out. It's even more absurd if you think of how casual the Isr*elis are about all of this, perfectly knowing that as long as they are backed by the world's largest powers they are basically untouchable. The banality of evil for real.

But here's the thing. Isr*el is just a country run by the military and made up of brainwashed ultranationalist colonialists, who think it is their birth right to kill every last Palestinian and mock their suffering because that's what they've been told confidently their whole lives. They think that the suffering their people lived in the past made them beyond moral reproach today, that their right to self-defense can spill over to offense and nobody will ever blame them, and they are so convinced of this that they will respond to actual accusations of genocide and war crimes simply by saying "that's antisemitic" and moving on.

Even just recalling the words of Holocaust survivors who spoke up about genocide has stopped clicking in the heads of many people because they see everything pertaining to the Jews as exceptional in its political, social, and historical dimensions, even when it's not. To better explain what I mean let me summarize another fun fact from very recent happenings in Italy. This last January 27, on Remembrance Day, several protests by young people of Palestinian descent and other supporters were held in various cities to condemn Isr*el's actions in Palestine, despite having been forbidden for "security reasons" after some complaints of the Jewish community called for the protest to be rescheduled. Some of the words that were written on the banners that the protestors held are quotes of Primo Levi, a writer and Holocaust survivor who passed in 1987. The aftermath of the protests was basically centered around Noemi Di Segni, the president of the Union of Italian Jewish Communities (UCEI), who said that the remembrance of Levi's words should be left to Jews, and then called for an end to the "verbal violence" against Jews that pro Palestine stances imply.

"Cease the fire of words against us is what we say to those who continue to accuse Israel of war crimes and genocide, with slogans based on nationality and faith, giving credence only to Hamas propaganda and giving new life to prejudices that we had hoped were extinct," Di Segni said. She also said that this kind of "Islamic suprematism" should look for quotes elsewhere, basically.

The funny thing here, however, is that the words that Levi originally spoke and that Di Segni and many other Zionists say have been "appropriated" by Palestinians were words that were never meant to be exclusively related to the Holocaust and the persecution of Jews specifically. All the contrary, they invite caution especially by reiterating that everyone needs to retain awareness of the horrors of genocide, because anyone (even Jews themselves in theory) could let such unspeakable things happen again if they let themselves forget. These are the words:

"Se comprendere è impossibile conoscere è necessario, perché ciò che è accaduto può ritornare, le coscienze possono nuovamente essere sedotte ed oscurate: anche le nostre". (trans: "If understanding is impossible then knowing is necessary, because what happened can come back, the consciences can again be seduced and obscured: even ours.")

This is important because to imply as Di Segni did that the Holocaust is a self contained episode in history, that words of warning against genocide in general can only be used in the context of a particular genocide that happened over 75 years ago, is the exact opposite of what survivors like Levi wanted the world to think.

The title Levi gave to what his English-language publishers called “Survival in Auschwitz” was “Se Questo È un Uomo” (“If This Is a Man”). The Nazis’ crime, he believed, was to treat the Jews as if they weren’t men—human beings. But the Jews’ suffering, he said, did not make them better people, or give them special rights. They had to observe the same moral standards as anyone else. Levi abhorred what we now call “exceptionalism.” This affected his views on Israel. He repeatedly condemned the Israelis’ treatment of the Palestinians. When, in 1982, the Israelis stood by as the Christian Phalangists massacred the Palestinians at Sabra and Shatila, he called for the resignation of Ariel Sharon and Menachem Begin. “Everybody is somebody’s Jew,” he told a reporter, Filippo Gentiloni, from the Italian newspaper Il Manifesto, and he cited the abuse of Poland by the Russians and the Germans. At that point in the interview, printed on June 29, 1982, Gentiloni closed the Levi quote and added a sentence of his own: “And today Palestinians are the Jews of the Israelis.”

Anyways, keep calling things as you see them. It may piss off some people, but it's the only way things can actually start to change in such a mud pool of empty politics and performative activism such as what we're witnessing in most Western countries.

#palestine #italy #sanremo #free palestine #anti israel #ceasefire

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kaylor-lovestory · 1 year

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DEBUNKING THE “KARLIE BETRAYED TAYLOR BELIEF”

Disclaimer: this post is taken from Reddit and it was put together and posted by this user : OddDragonfruit6179 I just made it into Tumblr post.

This is for people who might be new to Gaylor side of the fandom and to those questioning the “betrayal” surrounding Taylor Swift and her masters and Karlie Kloss. This is also an answer to anonymus messages about the line in the song It’s time to go believed to be about Karlie Kloss / When the words of a sister come back in whispers that prove she was not in fact what she seemed not a twin from your dreams she's a crook who was caught.

PSA - Personally, I exist as a Gaylor because I love interpreting Taylor's Queer themes that don't specifically revolve around certain muses & the beautiful way they can exist on their own. I am also not 'Late-Stage'-Anything, haha. But, saying that, it's amost impossible to ignore the elephant (or Giraffe) in the room when it comes to Karlie & Taylor's storytelling since Reputation. It seems there are some very firmly-held beliefs about 'what happened' (including Gaylors), and a lot of them revolve around the idea that Karlie 'betrayed' Taylor during the Master's Heist era of June/July 2019, 'feeding information to & siding with Scooter Braun' - which are often used to debunk Gaylor interpretations as a blanket shut-down. Given the latest drama with Selena & how she recently spoke up about slandering Taylor on TikTok, it reminded me of how we have a lot of evidence from both Taylor & Taylor's inner circle that this was probably not actually the case, and how quickly rumours & interpretations get adopted as 'fact' without any proof - something I think Taylor's also tried to get across with her music, too. I wanted to do a little deep-dive into this side of things to remind us all that we simply cannot believe everything we hear - there's always a lot more to celebrity stories than the loosly-held general beliefs :)

What was the big 'betrayal' in 2019?

If you're new here, welcome! The supposed 'betrayal' revolves around Taylor's Master's Heist in summer 2019, when Scooter Braun (millionaire celebrity manager) bought Taylor's entire back catalogue of music, leaving her without ownership of all her previous music. Taylor was at a turning point in her career, having just ended the 13 year contract that she'd been tied into since she was 15, and was just about to release her first fully-owned album 'Lover' She wanted to buy all her past music, allowing her to have full freedom & ownership going forward - yet it was allegedly sold to Scooter from underneath her, meaning he would be the one profiting from all of her life's work from Debut to Reputation & leaving her without any ownership rights of all her past work. (This is now why she's re-recording her 'Taylor's Versions' of her past albums.) How does Karlie tie into this? Karlie had been a huge part of Taylor's life since 2013. As Gaylors, most of us believe they were much more than friends & Karlie was the main muse for Reputation (2017) & multiple songs on Lover (2019). Karlie had signed with Scooter Braun in 2015. In 2016, Scooter was involved in the Kimye 'Taylor Swift is over controversy', being included in a photo Justin Bieber posted online to taunt Taylor (which Justin later said Scooter had nothing to do with). As she was Scooter's client, Karlie was immedietly caught up between Scooter Vs Taylor rumours, leading her to tweet this:

In early 2017, as the Kimye drama grew, Taylor stopped sharing her private life on social media. From 2017-2018 she releases Rep, goes on tour, ends her contract with Big Machine & begins working towards releasing Lover. All the while, rumours are consistently following both Taylor & Karlie about 'whether or not they're still friends' because they'd not been seen together. A lot of people believe they were still in each other's lives (there are multiple masterposts going into the possible romantic side of things), but the narrative is all over the place: In March 2018, Karlie tells the NY Times: 'don't believe everything you read' & that she and Taylor as still 'very close'. In July 2018, Karlie announces that she's engaged to Josh Kushner and Taylor doesn't publicly comment. In August 2018, Karlie attends the Rep Tour & is brought to the front pit when Taylor sings 'Dress'. In October 2018, Karlie has her first 'wedding' with Josh (up for personal interpretation if this is Lavender or not) - Taylor doesn't publicly comment. The same month, Karlie's YouTube shows her apartment is still full of photos of Taylor & her family/friends (not Josh):

In the first half of 2019 Taylor is finishing writing Lover, which include themes indicative that she is extremely up/down, full of anxiety & has push a 'lover' away: "I'm terrified if you ever walk away" (Cornelia Street), "We were crazy to think this could work, but we might just get away with it" (False God), don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you" (Cruel Summer), " jump from the train, I ride off alone" (The Archer), " blew things out of proportion, why'd I have to break what I love so much? I need to say hey, it's all in my head, I'm the one who burned us down, sorry that I hurt you, I don't do this to you, I don't wanna loose this with you" (Afterglow), "Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts, I look through the windows of this love, even though we boarded them up, chandalier's still flickering here" (DBTC)

What actually happened in Summer 2019?

Taylor begins promoting the release of Lover. In April 2019 she unveils a butterfly wing mural which looks extremely similar to Karlie's butterfly wings from the VS Show where they met & then continues to be ridiculously gay-on-main. She releases You Need To Calm Down, where she's the Sherriff of the Gay trailor park with Bi hair, and ME! on Lesbian Visibility Day... there's endless flagging in clothing/theming. She was getting very 'loud'. Many people believe she may have been leading up to 'coming out' officially, either with the album and/or the Miss Americana documentary that was in the process of being filmed. On 23rd/24th June, Karlie has her second 'wedding' (a big party). Taylor doesn't attend. Scooter does (he's close friends with Josh).

Within a week after he's at this party with Josh & Karlie, Scooter then flies to Nashville and completes the sale of Taylor's masters. The sale is partially funded by the Carlyle Group, who is in business with Kushner Companies (Josh's family's business).

On 30th June (the following weekend), Taylor announces that the Master's Heist has happened & how distraught she is. Lots of celebrities speak up against Scooter & many of his clients (Demi Lovato, Justin Bieber etc) speak up in defence of him. Karlie remains silent & doesn't make a statement either way.

On 3rd July, Perez Hilton starts stirring shit by saying that 'Taylor is no longer close to Karlie because she found out Karlie was telling things about her & her career to Scooter! It began circulating that 2 of Taylor's close friends, Ashley Avignone & Claire Winter had liked the tweet, 'confirming' that this was the case to those that follow gossip sites. Karlie is then photographed at events/lunches/trips with Scooter multiple times throughout the rest of 2019 - further ‘cementing' this idea for fans.

The final blow for this theory came when Taylor released Folkmore (2020): in the song 'Time to Go' she sings "When the words of a sister come back in whispers, that prove she was not in fact what she seemed, not a twin from your dream she's a crook who was caught", which many fans immedietly assumed was about Karlie.

Where are the cracks in all this?

Taylor's other friends: Obviously, social media is only a partial glimpse of a story, but it is very suggestive of behind the scenes information. The reaction to the current Selena controversy was what reminded me of her friendship with Taylor, after she stuck up for Taylor on a video of Hailey Bieber. Selena's been very close to Taylor since they were teenagers. In October 2019, shortly after the Master's Heist, she did an interview where she was in tears talking about how important her friendship with Taylor was, and how much she loved her & her family:

...so she would've been very much on Taylor's 'side' if Taylor has had an awful betrayal from Karlie, right? Yet in November 2019, just 5 months after the Masters Heist , she's very publicly supporting Karlie, too:

..and they have both consistently continued to support eachother ever since, right up to Selena's latest birthday:

In terms of social media, many of Taylor's current close friends & people she's worked closely with continue to follow Karlie (despite following a very limited number of people). This includes Taylor's oldest childhood friend, Abigail (who only follows 285 people - Karlie still follows her back), Haim The Band, as well as Danielle & Alana Haim on thier individual accounts, and Sadie Sink:

Karlie also continues to follow Taylor herself and Taylor's brother, Austin:

We also have two more of Taylor's very close circle, Ryan Reynolds & Gigi Hadid, liking posts about Karlie's 30th birthday in 2022:

What about Perez Hilton's claims? Baring in mind this is the ONLY 'evidence' that exists to support this story, I tried to find the original tweets about 'Karlie telling things about Taylor to Scooter', and low & behold: they're ALL gone. That includes Perez's & the 'Taylor Swift Updates' tweet that was supposedly liked by Taylor's friends. Gone, deleted, non-existent. Why would they have been deleted if they were true & Taylor wanted that story out there? Who made sure they were, from all accounts involved, and only those? Interesting.

What I did find, however, was some tweets and likes from the same friend, Ashley Avignone, discussing how none of Scooter's clients have been able to speak out against him or leave him because of their contracts (this would include Karlie):

What about Karlie 'siding' with Scooter & continuing to work/hang out with him? There were definitely pictures of Karlie continuing to spend time with Scooter after the Masters Heist. However, she was under contract. She never defended him or tried to reason about what he'd done. In fact, she left Scooter as soon as she possibly could. She hasn't been seen with Scooter since 2019 & she signed a new contract with a different manager in 2021. It's also relevant to note that Taylor's other close friend, Ed Sheeran, was also managed by Scooter at the time & didn't speak up publicly either. Taylor reportedly attended Ed's wedding in September 2019, yet Ed continued to stay with Scooter & publicly party with him well into 2021 (so, clearly, if there is an issue with Karlie it wasn't just because she continued to work with Scooter in 2019).

Last but not least, the music:

Throughout her albums since the Masters Heist, Taylor has consistently written about heartbreak & betrayal in different ways. Although 'It's time to go' has been grabbed by many fans as 'proof' that Karlie betrayed her, but most stories just aren't that simple. Taylor is a storyteller. One song doesn't equate to every emotion/situation that Taylor was feeling. As many of us do, I believe there's a clear arc of Taylor painting a picture throughout multiple songs, of how she thought she had been 'betrayed' & the pain of that, but later realising she was just blaming the person she had loved in order to get through it all. Others have done amazing, full analysis of these songs, but in terms of 'betrayal' specifically: In Hoax we see the raw pain of feeling hurt by the one she loved alongside what happened with the Masters Heist (this song is full of Karlie references & Taylor very clearly says she was writing about both love & the Masters Heist in the LPSS): "My eclipsed sun, this has frozen my ground / You know I left a part of me back in NY / You know it still hurts underneath my scars from when they pulled me apart, but what you did was just as dark, darling this is just as hard."

In Closure, we see that she's harbouring a lot of anger & isn't ready to move forward or past her pride: "Yes I got your letter, it wasn't right the way it all went down, looks like you know that now / I know that it's over, I don't need your closure / I'm fine with my spite / Guilty, guilty, reaching out across the sea that you put between you & me"

In Coney Island, we begin to see her taking accountability for her own role in the relationship breaking down in the first place (which ties in with Afterglow): "Sorry for not making you my centerfold / It gets colder & colder as the sun goes down / What's a lifetime of acheivement if I pushed you to the edge / Did I leave you hanging every single day / Did I paint your bluest skies the darkest gray?"

In Happiness, we see this accountability clashing with the hurt she still feels about the way it all ended, but ultimately acknowledging she can't make Karlie the villain (suggesting she never actually was one) & wants to forgive her whatever role she did play (when she's ready). Hope she'll be a beautiful fool who takes my spot next to you, no sorry, I don't mean that, I can't see facts through all of my fury / I can't make it go away by making you the villain, guess that's the price I pay for 7 years in heaven / All you want from me is the green light of forgiveness, You haven't met the new me yet, but I think she'll give you that"

Later, in The Great War, we see a continuation of reflecting back on the same themes - telling the story of feeling hurt & betrayed, shutting the other person out, but realising the other person was also being equally hurt by it all / was never the person she should've been blaming: "Cursed you as I sleep-talked, tore your banners down, took the battle underground / I drew curtains closed, drank my poison all alone" (processing her pain through putting an end to the loudness of Lover & writing Folkmore). "Somewhere in the haze got a sense I'd been betrayed/ telling me to punish you for things you never did, so I justified it" (Taylor's acknowledging once again that the other person hadn't actually done what she thought they had) "You drew up some good faith treaties / Tears on the letter / My hand was the one you reached for" (could be a callback to the letter' in closure & suggests the person was trying to make peace). "Your finger on my hairpin triggers, soldier down on that icy ground, looked up at me with honour & truth, broken & blue, so I called off the troops" (icy ground could be a callback to 'you have frozen my ground' back Hoax).

So where does that leave us?

Who the hell knows? No one does, but I love reading all the theories when the rest of the music is tied into it all! But in regard to there being a 'betrayal', given how there was never any concrete evidence that Karlie did anything wrong in the first place (& how the only tweets alluding to it have mysteriously dissapeared), the continual association with Karlie from some of the closest people in Taylor's life, Karlie leaving Scooter at the first chance she got & the arc of the 'thought i was betrayed but I was really just heartbroken & being dramatic' story from Taylor, I am now a firm believer that there wasn't a 'big betrayal' from Karlie in regard to the Master's Heist.

The rest of it is all up for guesswork. Taylor definitely felt betrayed by something at first. We know there were already break-up songs on Lover written before the Master's Hiest which suggest Taylor was the one to push her lover away, yet they were still dappled with hope that she'd get them back. Potentially, Karlie had already been pushed away & had sought security in her long-term partnership with Josh/decided to marry him. After the engagement & 1st wedding, this is when we see Taylor's very 'loud' Lover Era - could this have been an attempt to 'prove herself' to Karlie & make a statement about what she was willing to do? However, Karlie was already comitted to Josh & had gone through with the 1st wedding. Within a 1 week period of June 2019, Karlie doubled down on going through with her 2nd wedding to Josh & her manager bought Taylor's Masters, making it extremely risky for Taylor to continue to make a career-changing choice of 'coming out' (if that's what she'd been intending to do). Could it have been orchestrated by Scooter (& Josh?) in order to keep Taylor closeted? Could Josh have been involved financially in order to put a stop to the rumours about Karlie after they'd already comitted to marriage & keep his business deals/ family connections safe from speculation? Could Karlie simply have been trapped in the middle of all of it & torn between her loyalty to both Taylor & Josh, causing an already heartbroken Taylor to 'kick the cat' and initially put the blame on Karlie for the way it all happened? (If you factor in the possibility that both Karlie & Josh might be closeted & had eventually comitted to a consentual Lavender Marriage, it makes the risk of Taylor exposing them even bigger. Josh was tied up in Billionaire conservative circles & relied heavily on his business partnerships in the Middle East & Asia, as well as pressure from the Trump side of the family. We have no idea what kind of pressure he & Karlie may have been under behind the scenes).

Who the hell knows - but if Karlie had directly, intentionally been involved in such a big betrayal to Taylor, I HIGHLY doubt her best friends/family would be having anything to do with her.

Folkmore shows a clear theme of working through different, conflicting emotions, & then in Midnights we're back to seeing the Karlie-coded songs being portrayed as a big, authentic love (not one that was hate-filled or hurtful)...so at the very least, I'm definitley on the team of believing they have worked through whatever they needed to & have drawn a line under it all :) + a little update since the Eras tour started we have seen some of Karlies friends attend the show such as Derek Blasberg (her long time best friend), Cara Delevingne…Gigi Hadid revealed she will attend the Eras tour and go to as many shows as she can and she was just recently seen with Karlie in Mumbai. I hope this post made some things more clear for everyone not knowing this side of the story.

#kaylor #taylor swift #karlie kloss #taylor and karlie #taylorswift #karliekloss #taylors version #swifties #eras tour #debunking #betrayal #reputation #lover #folkore #evermore #midnights #reddit #gaylor #mastersheist

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celtic-crossbow · 8 months

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Some Things, Only God Can Forgive

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Setting: Alexandria

Warnings: Implied/mention of teen pregnancy, mentions of premature birth, implied/mentions of CSA, mentions of domestic violence

Summary: You’re hurting and have to share something about your past in order for Daryl to understand.

A/N: I’ve allowed parts of my life to wiggle their way into my writing before but this may be the most personal thing I’ve ever used my writing to vent about. I implore you to read the warnings and not venture further if any of those will trigger you. Also, the decision the reader made in her past may be controversial. Please, just… be gentle with me on this one. I needed the outlet badly.

Gif by @daryl-dixon-daydreams

He found you sitting on the grass near the graves of the loved ones Alexandria had lost. You didn’t seem to be looking at the makeshift crosses, instead staring up at the sky, all orange and purple as the sun bid you goodnight. He approached you carefully, having seen you struggling throughout the day; tears you had tried to hide during your chores and the way you were so easily frustrated with yourself and would storm off to god knows where before returning like nothing had happened.

“Hey.” Daryl said quietly. His knees cracked as he lowered to sit next to you. He mimicked your pose, stretching tired legs out in front of him but chose not to move when you drew your knees to your chest and wrapped your arms around them. The position made you look so small.

“Hi.” You answered, barely loud enough for him to hear.

“Y’okay?” The archer tried to keep his gaze on the darkening sky but found his eyes sliding over to watch you when you sighed.

“No.” You whispered. He started to ask what he could do, what you needed but you didn’t give him a chance. “I need to tell you something.”

That wasn’t reassuring. “Ya can tell me anythin’.” And you could, he hoped you knew that. His temper had calmed over the last year and a half. He found himself to be more thoughtful, his need to be quick to anger diminishing, though not completely absent.

“Before the world fell,” you started, but your lip began to quiver. He watched you struggle for a moment but you seemed to settle. “Before the world fell, I was a mom.”

Daryl tried not to let the surprise show. Out of all the things you could have told him, this was not on his bingo card for the year. You had both spoken of your lives before the turn. He knew you had never had it easy, but a kid? Not trusting his voice, he hummed his acknowledgment and nodded for you to continue. You still weren’t looking at him but you must have seen because you did.

“I was still a kid myself when he came along. I had no idea what I was doing.” You laughed but it was humorless and somehow made his heart ache. “Still, he was perfect. He was so small because he came early, but fuck, he was a fighter.” When the tears started to flow, the archer went against his better judgment and wrapped an arm loosely around your shoulders. You didn’t object. In fact, he wasn’t sure you even realized he had done it.

“He was my world. Kept me going between the beatings and the other shit life would throw at me even after I ditched his asshole father.” You drew in a deep breath and the small smile you had managed to find faded. “He grew up. He was 18 a couple of years before the first walker turned.”

You remained silent for a while. Daryl wasn’t sure if you wanted to share anything more but he remained where he was and waited. Finally, you looked at him, tears in your eyes and an expression that would haunt him for the rest of his days.

“That little girl didn’t deserve what he did to her, Daryl.” The bowman’s heart all but stopped. What were you saying? You turned away again, this time staring at the ground in front of your feet. “And he did it over and over for years. He wasn’t even a teenager when it started.”

Jesus.

His arm around you tightened. He couldn’t help it.

You sniffed and rubbed at your eyes and nose a little harder than necessary. “I found out just before his 19th birthday. I kicked him out of my house and turned him in, but the legal system did what it does best. Failed. I don’t even know what happened to him. We never spoke again.” Your face screwed up again, more tears cascading over your cheeks. “She was just a little girl.” Your face disappeared against your knees, hard sobs wracking your small frame.

Daryl did the only thing he could think of and pulled you toward him, finding you willing to bury your face against his chest and cry while he held you. What could he say that would make even the tiniest bit of that raw pain you were carrying any better? His lips pressed against the top of your head, his hand rubbing circles across your back. The sky was black and littered with stars when you finally calmed down enough to pull away from him.

“I’m sorry.” You offered, seeing the dark spot on his button-up shirt.

“Ya ain’t got nothin’ to be sorry for.” He made sure to be extra gentle when he thumbed away the remaining wetness below your eyes. You offered him a small smile when he leaned forward to press a kiss to your forehead, much like Carol had done for him only a few months prior.

“I should have told you before now.”

“Don’t make a bit’a diff’rence.” The corner of his mouth lifted into a little half-smile when you met his eyes questioningly.

“It doesn’t?” Your voice broke on the last syllable. “You still love me?”

“Course I do. Ya did right by that girl even when it meant ya had to lose someone ya loved. Weren’t no easy thing to do.” Daryl allowed his knuckles to whisper down your jaw. “The hell ya think that’d make me—oomph!” He nearly toppled over when you launched yourself into his chest, your arms winding around his neck in a hold tight enough to restrict his ability to breathe properly.

“Thank you.” Your hold loosened but didn’t fall away.

“For what?” The archer asked, managing to climb to his feet with you still thoroughly attached. His hands came to rest softly on your waist.

“For being everything I thought I’d never see of love.”

Daryl felt a familiar sting in his own eyes, fighting back the urge with a hard sniff. The two of you stayed that way for a while longer when you suddenly pulled back and grabbed his hand, yanking him toward the cluster of houses. He stumbled comically before righting himself with a grumbled ‘the hell, woman’ but soon fell in step beside you, listening to you list off the food items the two of you had at home and ponder over things to make for a late dinner.

Of course, he still loved you. The archer was certain there was nothing you could tell him that would ever change that.

#murda writes #daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon fanfiction #the walking dead #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl dixon x y/n #daryl dixon x you #daryl dixon x female reader #writing as a coping mechanism #writing as therapy #Spotify

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heyidkyay · 5 months

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And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part Four

Matty Healy x reader

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way?

Authors Note: IT'S TAKEN A WHILE BUT IT'S HAPPENING, MATTY AND MOUSE ARE SO CLOSE. Hi:) Hope you enjoy this part, finally throwing them into the same building!! Lot's happening in this one!

Warnings: Mentions of rehab, struggles around body image

Masterlist

🐭 @/petitesouris 13m Early start, hoping it's a good session today!

The next week rolled around slowly and it had been one of the most agonising waits of my life.

I’d constantly been emailing with the Primary Talent Team for the last few days, back and forth, just trying to work out which date and time would best fit both our schedules. It’d been gruelling. And the entire exchange would have gone a whole lot easier if it hadn't been for the fact that it had all been centred around them and based on their terms and conditions. Not forgetting the mile long list of Do’s and Don'ts they had also attached to their most recent email, which had been oh so fucking thrilling.

To be honest, I might not have minded it if my whole life had only revolved around the radio show. But as proud of it as I was, and as incredibly hard as both Adi and I constantly worked, I had other priorities that took precedence. I loved the show with all my heart but it could never be my entire life. Not with Teddy waiting for me back home at the end of each day, relying on me alone to raise and feed and clothe him.

Not that Healy’s management could comprehend that, or the fact that I had a schedule and a set routine. They didn't know when to stop and pushed and pushed to get what they wanted. And I could only fight back so much. Which meant that I’d ended up dropping Teddy off at Finn’s place a whole two hours earlier than usual just so that Adi and I could prep for the dated interview.

So, with that in mind, it was safe to say that I wasn't in the perkiest of moods when Adi bounded breathlessly into the studio that morning, a lot later than expected.

"I know, I know, I'm late!" Adi immediately squawked as she hurried on over, the door behind her slamming shut in her wake. "But I have good reason! I hardly slept last night, too excited for all of this!" She added as she threw her knitted tote bag down in its customary corner, the one I’d brought her the birthday last, and tossed her phone and throng of keys down with a clatter onto her paper-filled desk.

I rolled my eyes, but was unable to negotiate with the amused smile that pulled at the corners of my mouth. “Still had time to post a quick photo though. Don't think I didn't see it, Adeline- you tagged the show."

Adi’s smile was blinding when she spun around to meet me, brown eyes wild and full of mirth.

“Figured since you still haven't a clue about how Instagram works that you just wouldn't see it, my love!" She retorted whilst throwing herself down into my desk chair and kicking her Doc clad feet up onto the table. She shot me a smug smirk.

“Cow. And oi, I’ll have you know I’ve caught on since Circa ‘18!” I defended, but relented upon seeing Adi’s arched brow. “Fine, I had Finn explain it all to me one night after a bottle of wine. But the point still stands.”

Adi’s raucous laughter bounced around the loft and I could only roll my eyes once more before huffing. 2018 had been a rough year for many, but mostly me, seeing as I’d accidentally posted a quick shot of me in the tub for the group chat to my story, exposing a little more than I’d like to our show’s following.

Adi stared back at me in disbelief, loosening the bun of unruly curls that had been strung together by a silk bandana, which also seemed to match the colour of the very short shorts she was wearing.

"He'd had to have been a saint in another life to have dealt with an indisposed you for that long."

I scoffed at that, but couldn't help my own trickle of laughter. “I sent Teddy round to his the next day with a box of chocolates- you know, those fancy ones he’s always banging on about?” Adi hummed her assent. “Felt proper bad about it all. Took him ages to teach me how to stop going Live.”

We both laughed.

“Waste of time that was, should’ve just brought the chocolates here! Knowing Finn, he only helped ‘cause he found the entire sodding thing hilarious.” Adi supplied, pulling a pack of chewing gum free from her jacket pocket.

Snorting faintly, I denied her offering of a piece with a wave of my hand, and went back to fidgeting with my phone, distracting myself again from my plume of thoughts. I spun the device round and round, slowly enough so that each edge made contact with the wooden desktop.

“You alright there, babe?” Adi queried after a while, and I glanced over to see her eyes now trailing the movement. “Ted doing alright?”

I stilled and then hummed, watching as she turned and went about fumbling her way through an array of wires that sat on my desk, most of which were already hooked up to the monitors. It was a task Adi did most mornings, even when I’d already ticked it off the list, ever the perfectionist, wanting to double check that nothing would go wrong with the day's show.

“Oh yeah, all’s fine. Teds is already obsessing over Halloween, ranting about what costume he wants to get this year. But August has only just passed, Ads.” I groaned, thinking back to the previous evening when Teddy had spent a good portion of his bath time rambling on about what every other kid in his class was going to be.

Adi peered back at me, the extremity of the grin she wore wrinkling the corners of her eyes. “Just kids, ain't it? We were the same, you'll miss it in a couple of years.”

I supposed she was right, but only because I didn’t have much of an experience to look back on. Halloween had just been me and mum in the woods up by the creek, collecting flowers and eucalyptus for the wreaths we’d make, then reading old stories by the fire.

“Don't remind me, please. I don't want him getting any bigger!” I sighed all too dramatically before standing to head on over towards the printer, picking up everything I’d sent off earlier from out the tray.

“It's the way of life, babe. So, when do you reckon Teds will end up towering over you?”

Adi simply chuckled when I stuck a finger up at her from over my shoulder, not even wanting to pay that idea any thought at all. Teddy was my baby, I couldn’t picture him all grown up.

“I should mention that I saw your tweet, by the way. Guessing you're nervous for today?” Adi added after, her tone a little softer than normal, catching me off guard enough that I actually stilled in place before I turned to face her.

“And you’re not?"

Adi’s mouth quirked upwards when she shook her head, dark ringlets moving with it.

“Why would I be? This is fucking huge for us, M! The exposure that we'll receive alone could really give us the big break we've been searching for- I honestly can't even begin to believe it.”

I gnawed on my bottom lip as I lingered over her words, then pushed back the thought of me having been the one to deal with the stress that was Healy’s management team to the back of my mind. Adi didn’t deserve that, I’d always been the one to deal with all the crap happening behind the scenes, and besides, Adi had a right to be excited. I only wished that I had the ability to join in on it.

“I just don't want to start up any more unnecessary drama, Ads.”

Drama was the very last thing I wanted, knowing that this whole thing with Healy could easily blow up in our faces if we didn’t go about it the right way. And if shit actually does end up hitting the metaphorical fan, then… I wasn't sure I'd be fit enough to handle it. Handle the backlash that would surely follow and affect the show, the only source of income I had. And without it, both Teddy and I would be royally fucked.

Apparently my lack of response had Adi rolling her eyes, adding an extra flare of dramatics to it by flicking my ear as she passed me by. “Don’t be such a worrier, babe. It’ll all work out, always does with us, don’t it? Besides, how can it not when I have a face as gorgeous as this?”

She winked, flashing me her famous grin.

“Tart.”

“Slag.” Adi easily countered.

A breathy chuckle escaped me and I shook my head before returning to the wad of papers I’d been rifling through. “Sorry to disappoint, but it’s the radio, babe. No one will be seeing that gorgeous face of yours, or the way your arse is currently hanging out of those shorts.”

Adi cut her eyes at me from across the room, but they gleamed under the studio’s lights. “Don’t be jealous. We both know you love it.”

“Jealous? I’m a mum!”

“A fit one.”

A laugh bubbled up out of my throat at that and I couldn't find the energy to deny it, so I just shook my head.

“Anyway, you’re wrong.” And at my confused look, Adi continued on, grinning wickedly as she waved around one of the large devices she’d since picked up and cradled in her hand. “We are working with the camera’s today. Sort of why I'm here setting them all up. See?”

“Wait, we’re filming?” I gawked, and my eyes felt like they were just about ready to bulge out of my head as I sat up further to shake my head at her. Mouth already dry. “Non. No, Adi. No one ever mentioned that! I can’t.”

“They called yesterday demanding it. Just as you left to pick up Teds- it must've slipped my mind. I'm so sorry, hun.” Adi revealed sheepishly, her face scrunched up in an apologetic wince as the camera rig dropped to her hip. “But don't worry, yeah? I promise it'll all be sound and then we'll be well on our way to becoming the UK's biggest radio show!”

I reverted back to worrying at my bottom lip, chewing on it as though I hadn't eaten for days whilst I tapped an anxious rhythm into the arm of my chair. I couldn’t do the cameras, not today at least.

“Trust me, Mouse. It’ll be alright. You’ve done it before and you can do it again. No one will say a thing.”

I wished I could fucking believe her.

***

The Sun @/Thesun 16m Matty Healy spotted out in London today! The singer has been relatively quiet for the past few days- somewhat strange for the wayward frontman- but will this all change now that he's been seen? (Link) H @/user1 18m um, what? he’s where?? Adi @/AdelineWells_ 19m Long day ahead but we're very excited for today's show! Big surprises in store for you lot, so who's looking forward to it?? @/petitesouris @/Mouseonamic Indie @/user2 21m @/AdelineWells_ AHHH hope it's another Adi's All-Knowing segment!! Urmymedicine @/user3 23m Did anyone else see Jamie’s ig post?? He says to keep an eye out- AN EYE OUT FOR WHAT?? Talk! @/user4 11m I feel like I've been hit by an unnecessary amount of information

***

Matty’s bleary stare made an attempt to focus on the blurring buildings that passed them by as the car cut through the paved streets of London. Grey just melting into another varied shade of grey.

It was still far too bright for the beginning of September, the remaining weeks of summer only just tittering away now, and Matty couldn't help the scowl that had long since settled into his hollow features.

One of the very few things he liked about the city was the fact that it was almost sure to be gloomy during the colder months. But it seemed as though the sun was shining a little brighter today, much to his chagrin.

A dull pain throbbed at either side of his temples, it’d been there since he’d been forced awake, and so he'd had to wind the window all the way down as soon as they'd set off to keep the nausea at bay. He silently regretted not turning in early last night, but it couldn't have been helped. It was hard to stay asleep without his usual nightcap, and even then, it was harder to dismiss the memories that plagued his mind without downing half a bottle of something or other.

A frigid wash of air wound its way down his throat as he took a long breath, his mind slowing a tad as the afternoon breeze trickled across his skin. But soon enough Matty’s calm was broken and his attention was then caught by Jamie, who sounded just as thwart as he felt.

“You even listening to me, mate?”

Jamie’s undeterred voice filtered through the back of the car, a short lived sigh following in its wake.

Matty merely rolled his eyes from behind his darkened sunglasses and proceeded to slump further in his seat, lolling his head to the side so that his focus was now within the car instead of on the distractions of the outside world.

His gaze trailed its way across the dark leather seats and blacked out windows before it finally ended up landing on his manager, who was kitted up in one of his many sharp shirts and a pair of formal fitting trousers. A right snazzy twat.

Matty could appreciate their pattern though, Jamie hardly ever ventured too far into the world of fashion, so the burgundy tartan was a sight to behold.

He soon fixed Jamie with an apathetic stare from across the backseat, fingers already itching for a fag, or maybe something stronger. He couldn’t be arsed with the mindless bother he’d been sent to complete today, really didn’t want to be dealing with a roomful of people that were there to assault him with an extensive range of hard-hitting questions, or have any more unwanted cameras shoved in his face in truth.

But here he was, doing it.

Following orders because that was what it took to be a puppet. He was too tired to be tugging on any strings today though, simply wanted to get the afternoon over and done with, hopefully without any repercussions, so that he could fall back into bed.

“Matty, mate.” Jamie huffed, his face having fallen into a pitiful expression that Matty didn’t quite like looking at, but couldn’t seem to look away from.

For a while, he'd been fearful that he'd pushed his luck all too far with Jamie, as well as the rest of the band too he supposed. But it seemed as though the guy had a thing for redemption, because he was trying his fucking hardest to annoy Matty into growing the fuck up.

“Look. I know you don't like this anymore than I do, but it's your job, mate. You ain’t got much of a choice here. But think of it this way, right. It's better you being here, doing this, than drowning away in your own fucking sorrows- thought you'd given up drinking since rehab, anyway.”

Matty’s jaw clenched involuntarily at the reminder. Rehab. What was it with everyone and always bringing it up? He’d been too fucking gone on painkillers to have given a second thought to the little amount of alcohol that particular shit show had provided. Could hardly call it a rehabilitation centre either, not when you were constantly surrounded by other abusers who were practically there on a getaway, just finding other means to entertain themselves with.

Jamie broke the silence just as Matty’s mind began to spiral, and Matty couldn’t help but be rather thankful for it.

“You just gonna sit there then?” Jamie snorted, obviously trying to fill the tense quiet now, “Normally you’d have told me to piss off by now.”

“Piss off.” Matty murmured, turning his focus back to the window.

The car seemed to be slowing down now and Matty furrowed his brow when they came to a gentle halt outside a block of buildings.

“Where are we?”

“Outskirts of Islington, I think. Not too far from the studio.”

Matty didn't get much of a chance to reply- not that he'd had one, Islington never did manage to bring up the most fondest of memories with him- because Jamie had all but jumped at the chance to exit the vehicle, opening up the sliding backdoor to escape into the stream of daylight.

With a tired sigh, Matty ran a hand through his mussed hair before he made a move to join his manager, clicking his neck slightly as the bottoms of his leather, heeled boots clacked against the cobbled pavement.

There was the usual musty scent that lingered throughout the city as he took a breath, but the smell of petrol was somewhat stronger here. Hardly anyone was wandering down the backstreet they had pulled into though, and those that did didn't linger too long on either him or the extravagant hired car that he'd been sanctioned with since having been struck with yet another driving ban.

Craning his head up, Matty could tell that there wasn't much to the building they were standing outside of. A commercial unit, three stories or so. Its brick exterior worn and dotted with timber sash windows. It was quaint enough, but not what he was used to when it came to things like this.

"Alright. A quick debrief before we go in." Jamie started, already fixing the faint creases in his otherwise pristine shirt, caused from where he’d been sat working in the backseat. “This is the same show that you had a bit of a spat with earlier this week, alright? So you'll be meeting the same girl that spoke out about your, um… Well, your image and publicity, and all that crap, generally speaking."

Jamie’s eyes flitted around them before he was back to typing away on his phone again. Fucking thing was practically attached to his hand, made Matty wonder how the hell he managed a wank.

But then he caught onto that last bit of his sentence and furrowed his brows, throwing Jamie another quick glance, not quite comprehending.

“Why we even here then? Thought your lot had a right mare dealing with all that.”

Jamie had the decency to look a tad bit sheepish as he started to lead them over towards one of the heavy-duty doors that adorned each of the surrounding units.

“They think that by doing this, it will clear up any allegations. They just want you to right your wrongs, I ‘spose. Make it known that what went down was just a 'misunderstanding' of sorts.”

“Right my? For fucks sake, Jamie! I was shitfaced! And if I remember fucking rightly, this supposed presenter spoke some actual truth. How the fuck am I meant to deny that and clear this whole fucking mess up?"

Matty was quite close to fuming now. It was always the same thing, again and again. The lies were never ending. So much so that he could hardly even recognise them from the truth anymore, everything had seemed to mould into one.

Jamie had since paused, his hand resting on the door's brass handle whilst he gave Matty the best smile he could possibly muster up. "Matty, mate, I'm sorry. Listen, I thought I could-"

Matty cut him off with a throaty scoff.

"Don't make out you're sorry. Not when you're just here ‘to do your job’. The only thing you're sorry for is the fact that you've got to be here at all, to suffer through all this shit with me and put up with the added drama. Just do me a fucking favour and keep your half-arsed apologies to yourself, mate."

Jamie looked genuinely taken back by his vicious rant for once, and somewhat hurt too, but Matty paid it no mind. He knew where to hit where it hurt, and he often didn’t stop until he tasted blood. The band knew that better than most.

"You act like you're here for me, when all you really care about is goin’ by the book and following the rules. Fucking grow a pair and apologise to me when there's an actual ounce of sympathy behind it." He spat back, teeth grinding as he clenched his jaw, glowering at the man standing before him.

Matty shoved past his startled manager before he could linger on his words and pushed his way through the door. Fisted hands already making their way into his pockets as his nails dug crescent shaped moons into his palms in a desperate attempt to take the edge off of his vibrating anger.

"Ah, good, you're already here then! Thought we'd heard voices!" A cheerful lilt called out just as Matty rounded the short hallway, Jamie hot on his tail, and came face to face with a girl, who was leaning heavily against the metal rail lining the steep stairwell.

Matty winced at the brashness of her greeting, eyes narrowing behind his sunglasses at the very force of her presence. She had a mane of thick curls bundled atop her head, lips lined red and lashes winged with a heavy liner. She was definitely younger than him, but not by much, and he could only guess as he approached her, that she stood at a similar height to him too when she wasn't prancing about on metal staircases.

His fingertips trailed across the paperboard carton he had stowed away in his jacket pocket as Jamie hurried on over to meet the woman- a beaming smile now replacing his previously dejected look. Matty bit into his cheek at the sight of it.

"Yeah, sorry if we're late! Hey, it's great to meet you, I'm Jamie and this is obviously Matty." Jamie greeted with an incessant smile Matty couldn't bring himself to look at, before his manager was gesturing towards him- the disgruntled singer he was always stuck babysitting- and then reaching out a hand.

"Adeline, but my mates call me Adi." The girl, Adi, chirped as she took Jamie’s palm in her own, her eyes flitting towards Matty long enough to get a good once over. A gesture Matty returned. "It's great to have you both here."

She wore a grin so large it practically surpassed the honey brown eyes that brightened her face. Her teeth were white, if not a little crooked, and the force of her smile showed off the metal piercing that sat against her front teeth.

"We're honestly really excited to have you on the show! We'll have a proper laugh and just chill, so there's no pressure or anything. Mouse is upstairs, by the way. Still have to set up the final bits and bobs." Adi added, her enthusiasm somehow never faltering. "You'll love her! She's the main man round here, the one who started up the show and all that. You'll be speaking to her once we begin, but depending on how everything goes I'm hoping to join the two of you at some point."

Matty merely hummed in reply, which earned him a slight jab to the ribs from Jamie, one he tried not to lash out at. And Adi’s eyes slitted a tad as she followed the gesture, though Matty noted she gathered herself rather quickly.

"So, is that all of you then? No one else to meet?" Jamie wondered politely and Adi chuckled in retort as she began to lead them up the shifting staircase, giving them both an eyeful of her long legs.

"Nah, you're in the clear. It's just the two of us running things around here."

Matty worked his jaw at her response, whilst the sound of his boots hitting each metal stair reverberated around them.

"And that works?" He couldn't stop himself from asking.

Adi's head snapped back to find him, eyes peering over her shoulder as she rounded the first small landing and started on the next set of stairs.

"Mouse was on her own for a long while before I came along. We cope fine on our own though. We might not be as big as some other radio shows at the moment, but we've got a good relationship that works well within this industry. She can be stubborn, whilst I can be pushy, and even when we butt heads over things, we're able to make up in the end for the sake of the show. I don't know how it would work, throwing someone else into the mix."

Matty gave her a curt nod.

"So, Mouse?" Jamie questioned just as they bypassed the second floor, continuing up the staircase. Matty could hear the curiosity that lined his voice.

Adi flashed them another grin. "Mouse. It's what she goes by."

"Oh?" Jamie prodded, prompting her even further. He had a right thing for nicknames, loved hearing the stories behind them or something.

"Don't know how it came about, in all honesty. You'll have to ask. But it's been her pseudonym ever since she started as a kid."

Matty’s ears perked up upon hearing that, but it was Jamie who quizzed her.

"She's been doing this since she was a kid?"

"Technically. But no, it started out as a Twitter account, just her venting her thoughts and opinions on the music she loved. And trust me, teenage Mouse was just as cut throat and sarcastic as she is now- maybe even more so- but people loved it, still do. The idea for the radio show came about a couple years later, and that was that."

Adi stopped talking just as they reached the very top. The staircase had led them straight into an open plan room, where a large leather sofa separated the sitting area from the tiny kitchenette in the far back corner, and where half of the living space had been overtaken by a recording booth.

Matty blinked. It wasn't at all what he had been expecting.

"God, this is insane." Jamie suddenly crowed from beside him and Matty followed his manager’s wide eyed gaze to where a skylight had been fitted overhead, giving them a clear view of the bright blue skies they'd just escaped from.

"I know." Adi spoke through a breathy exhale, her eyes twinkling as she grinned up at the oversized window. "It was what sold us on the place, honestly. That, and the access we have to the roof."

She gestured over towards the closest window to the stairs then and Matty found a fire exit hatch sat just on the outside of it.

"Don't think the other tenants renting out the spaces below even know about it. Well that, or we've just been lucky enough to never to catch one another up there." She chuckled and Jamie joined her.

Matty’s hand tightened around his pack of cigarettes, eyes lingering on the hatch. But before he could ask if he could get a quick look at it, Adi was waltzing her way across the room and over towards the kitchen.

She waved them closer and gestured towards two sofas and a vintage looking armchair that should have looked somewhat out of place, if it hadn't been for the rest of the mismatched furniture that littered the space. From the mint green fridge shelving a chaotic range of mugs, to the wearing Victorian coffee table, which was hilariously similar to the one Matty’s grandmother had preened over whenever guests had gone to visit.

"Tea, coffee?" Adi asked and Matty dipped his head as he took a perch on the edge of an armchair facing the tele box. It looked well over two decades old and he questioned the last time he'd seen one that'd had a DVD player built into it.

"Coffee. Black."

Adi raised an amused brow but didn't comment, looking towards Jamie. "And you, Glasses?"

Jamie only chuckled at the name referring to the thick rimmed frames he often wore. "Tea, please. Milk, two sugars."

"Be with you in just a sec!" Adi winked in reply and pulled four mugs down from the fridge.

"Cheers." Jamie thanked her, smiling all the while, before a look of remembrance crossed his face. "So where's this famous Mouse of yours then?"

And as though someone had answered him, Matty looked up to find the door to the recording booth opening and watched as someone stepped out to join them.

112 notes · View notes

transmutationisms · 2 months

Note

came across a post by astriiformes (astriiformes(.)tumblr(.)com/post/742882591316803584/hi-i-just-learned-about-the-scientific-revolution) that objected to Kuhn's theory of scientific revolution on the basis that they felt it leant in to the "great men of history" model. I never understood it this way, but I haven't read the book—I thought it was more about explaining the lag between accumulation of evidence that goes against the current paradigm and full paradigm shift. thoughts?

kuhn's model of 'paradigm shifts' is certainly prone to inviting 'great man' explanations of scientific developments. i would even go further, and say that this is due to a fundamental issue in kuhn's methodology, which is a tendency toward idealist analysis that fails to consider material and sociological factors. astriiformes points out that these days, kuhn is more popular with economists and political scientists than with practicing historians of science; this is true and not a coincidence.

astriiformes also walks through a valuable line of objection to kuhn, which is that the scientists we tend to credit with having made singlehanded discoveries were in fact usually embedded in vibrant scientific communities and ongoing debates, and were influenced by their contemporaries as well as their intellectual forebears. this is all true. another critical angle to interrogate here, and one where the Great Man often pops up again, is in kuhn's version of how scientific ideas are actually adopted: in other words, how he considers a 'paradigm shift' to actually occur, even once we assume the idea in question has already been formulated. let me chuck a few case studies at you because it's easier than talking in generalities.

for much of the 20th century, the 'standard story' of galileo's trial and imprisonment was that, having dared to become a lone voice defending heliocentrism, he was made a martyr to truth by the church, which was threatened on theological grounds. however, in the last several decades historians of science have studied much more seriously the patronage networks of renaissance italy: the structure of funding and epistemological authority whereby a scientist like galileo secured money, university or court positions, and respect by gaining mutually beneficial relationships with various nobles and other wealthy people. galileo had defended heliocentrism prior to the church's crackdown on him and his work; so had certain other astronomers. although it's true the church had theological objections to what galileo was saying, they were pretty much forced to tolerate him as long as he had sufficient patronage protection: wealthy, powerful people using their social clout to defend him. but this fragile truce was shattered when galileo lost the support of certain of his patrons, particularly some jesuits, in the early 1630s and thus became a much more vulnerable target of church censorship. it was only at this point that the church placed him on trial and then eventually under house arrest, and forced to recant.

evolutionary ('transmutationist') ideas were not new by the time darwin published the 'origin' in 1859. most french biologists at this time supported some variant of transmutationist ideas, and even in britain, transmutation of species had long been hotly discussed in the edinburgh medical schools in particular. the challenge for the wealthier london gentleman-naturalist set was that transmutationism had previously been associated with radical, materialist, atheist politics (this was precisely what appealed for many in edinburgh), and although evolutionary ideas had circulated in the wider reading public, these had typically been carefully framed to remain compatible with dominant anglican morals (eg, robert chambers's 'vestiges' of 1844). so, why were charles darwin's ideas accepted where others had been suppressed, ignored, or mired in controversy? a few reasons: again, a strong patronage network and powerful social connections (familial and personal); also, darwin very consciously avoided talking about human descent in 1859 (he did not do so until 1871's 'descent of man', which remains less widely read to this day) and avoided open avowal of materialism or atheism in his published works. furthermore, despite what lay histories may suggest nowadays, darwin's ideas were not embraced immediately or uncritically. they circulated piecemeal, with the help of 'popularisers' like haeckel and th huxley whose teachings often varied pretty widely from what darwin actually said or thought. and, prior to the 'modern synthesis' unifying 'darwinian' evolution with mendelian genetics, one of the most common objections to darwin's ideas was that he had provided proof of no actual mechanism of heredity, which resulted in a retrospectively fascinating period of anglo and french scientific writing between about 1890–1940 that often circulated the claim that darwin had been proven embarrassingly wrong, and it was jean-baptiste lamarck who had instead been vindicated by the biologists of the middle victorian era.

louis pasteur has historically been credited with ushering out the last vestiges of 'miasmatic' and 'environmentalist' theories of disease in france, and replacing them with good solid bacteriology. this is simply a misrepresentation of scientific beliefs among the lay public, technical experts like public health officials, and even working scientists under the third republic. because hygienists and sanitation engineers had spent much of the 19th century creating professional prestige for themselves as managers of the insalubrious environmental factors plaguing particularly the urban poor, you can imagine they were not generally thrilled at the proposition that someone had actually confirmed the existence of a microscopic 'germ' of disease, a foreign entity that could be studied and eradicated by a laboratory scientist with entirely different credentials and training. so, as it became clear that the actual eradication part was still a challenge, and that disease risk did not strike all people or demographics equally, french hygienists by and large simply altered their rhetoric a little. yes, germs existed—in fact, clearly, these were what the hygienists had been protecting people from all along by encouraging cleaner air, open spaces, gymnastic exercise, &c! this is the root of what's now known in the historical literature as the 'sanitary-bacteriological synthesis'—not an overturning of an old 'environmentalist' paradigm for a modern bacteriological one, but rather a melding of the two that enfolded pasteur's and koch's discoveries whilst still shoring up the professional authority of the hygienists and sanitarians.

in all three of these cases you can see how a strictly kuhnian analysis of 'paradigm shifts' over-emphasises the role of the Great Man (here in his guise as Genius Scientist) because it overlooks critical factors like the social and professional networks that actually allow knowledge to spread, and the professional and pecuniary interests that motivate people, consciously or not, when they evaluate new theories or ideas. galileo did not suffer from 'failing' to spark a paradigm shift, any more than darwin singlehandedly succeeded; their ideas circulated, mutated, and provoked on the strength of relationships as much as pure cerebral Theory. pasteur's claims likely could not have achieved the renown they did, had they not been helped along by hygienists who saw in them a change to re-form and reinforce their own profession and authority.

kuhn's work was an important departure from earlier positivist, largely teleological histories of science: the 'paradigm shift' allowed people to talk about massive and notable changes in science without having to accede to a model that assumed constant, linear progress. in this sense, much of today's history of science (still a comparatively immature and evolving field!) belongs to a citational lineage that will eventually pop up with kuhn's name. but, methodologically, kuhn leaves a lot to be desired, because his analysis is generally founded in an intellectual history that configures Science as a world of disembodied ideas unburdened by social, material, and economic considerations and practices.

#hps

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bradshawssugarbaby · 4 months

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Wherever You Will Go - Derek Hale x Reader

A/N: Inspired by the song Wherever You Will Go by The Calling

pairing: Derek Hale x Reader

warnings: angst-ish with fluffy ending, mild swearing, pining, toxic relationships.

word count: 2.4k

“If a great wave shall fall, and fall upon us all, well then I hope there's someone out there who can bring me back to you”

You and your friends piled into your usual booth at the bar, the same one you frequented so many times years ago when you still lived in Beacon Hills, barely old enough to drink, and with no real responsibilities of adulthood to your name apart from the odd phone bill and college tuition payment. Your friends had always called you sheltered, although back then, you didn’t really know what that meant. You had led a cushioned existence until your early twenties came, sick of being the well-behaved, pampered princess your friends and classmates thought you were (and really, you had to admit now looking back, they weren’t wrong), you rebelled. It started with being more open to attending parties, going out with friends every time they invited you, rather than turning them down to study as you usually did.

Then, you met him.

At this point, you weren’t even sure what it was about Derek that reeled you in, other than the fact that he was everything your parents didn’t want you to date. Reserved, mysterious, rebellious, and often the centre of controversy - you knew Derek was the exact opposite of who everyone expected you to end up with, and that seemed to make you want him all the more at the time. He’d been resistant towards you at first - shrugging you off with a cold shoulder the first time you’d attempted to flirt with him. He was always so closed off, and he liked it that way.

Everyone you knew warned you that he wasn’t the type to open up and make you swoon with romantic gestures or musings of love - all things you’d talked about wanting from a partner - but once you did start to break down the walls he’d built, you couldn’t deny the fact that he was a different person under the persona. He was caring and passionate, even if he didn’t convey his feelings very well most of the time. Behind the frosty cold exterior he’d created for himself, was someone who just wanted to be loved and appreciated, someone who was scared of losing the people he was close to, and someone who was building up walls to guard themself from getting hurt.

Your love for Derek was hard and fast - you fell almost instantly when he rejected you the first time. You’d spent your whole life always getting what you wanted, and the fact that he’d denied you without as much as a second thought that first time made you crave him all the more. By the second attempt at conversation, you’d changed your approach from flirtatious to friendly, and you’d begun to wear down his resistance little by little, with Derek offering to buy you a drink by the end of the night. By that point, your friends had gone home, and you’d forgotten entirely about how that had meant walking home alone in the dark.

Derek sarcastically made a comment about not wanting to be questioned by the police if you didn’t make it home safe, with him being the last person you were seen with, and offered to walk you home. The next morning came the first text message, a simple, sarcastic, “Did you make it into bed without dying?” from Derek. Your reply was something along the lines of “Barely, but I’m here. Thanks for walking me home.”, and from there, you thought that the conversation would trail off, fizzling out and leaving you with nothing more than a one time gesture of friendliness from him. However, something ignited between the two of you - and to be honest, neither of you knew where it came from or why, but to everyone on the outside looking in, they’d say Derek fell as hard and fast as you did.

That one time text exchange turned into daily text messages checking in to see how you were, what your plans were, what his plans were, how he was, if he was planning on being at the bar again when the next night of drinking with your friends rolled around. From there came sneaking Derek into your bedroom window like a pair of high school lovers, forbidden from seeing each other past curfew. One night together turned into a weekly occurrence, and the weekly escapades of sneaking Derek in or you sneaking out turned into nightly rituals of hooking up in any space that was deemed discreet enough to hide your indiscretions.

All the old memories of your relationship with Derek came flooding back to you as you sipped your tequila sunrise, but just as quickly as they came, you were brought back to your senses by the sounds of your friends laughing and joking about their old college boyfriends. You blinked your eyes a couple of times as you stared off into space before snapping back to reality and looking to your friends, who were now glancing at you with raised eyebrows and sideways looks to one another.

“You still with us?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Just, thinking is all.” “Oh god, here we go.” Your friends all collectively let out a playful groan as they laughed, shaking their heads. Natalie, the least reserved of your group, looked at you with a knowing smirk as she put the straw of her drink to her lips, taking a sip.

“You were thinking about Derek, weren’t you? Wanting him to just walk through that door and sweep you away or some shit?”

“No, but weren’t we just discussing college boyfriends? He was my college boyfriend for two years,” you retorted dryly as you sipped your drink, shooting Natalie a dirty look as she teased you.

“I don’t think any sane person would call what you and Derek had a “healthy relationship”. You literally snuck him around like he was some kind of fugitive.”

“I did not. We just…liked the privacy.”

“Well, the way he ended things alone is reason to stop thinking about him. He was an asshole.”

You felt yourself fighting the urge to defend him and his actions, but you couldn’t deny the fact that Derek had ended things abruptly with you, and that you’d been heartbroken at the time. You knew he had his reasons - he had secrets and he was trying to protect you from them.

He was scared and didn’t want you to get hurt or risk losing you to something beyond his control, so by making it his decision to let you go, he figured you’d both be better off for it. At the time, you’d argued, stamped your feet, threw your fists against his chest, all but begging him to reconsider, but you knew it was futile, and that his mind was made up. It’d crushed you, but part of you always knew that when your relationship moved at the speed of light, it had to come crashing to a halt at some stage. It just happened sooner and more abruptly than you’d expected. Still, despite you understanding he was doing what he thought was best for both of you, part of you resented him for how coldly and nonchalantly he’d done it. How he’d just ended things without as much as giving you a chance to fight for your relationship.

“It was three years ago. I’m over it,” you responded coyly as you sipped your cocktail, trying to brush off your lingering feelings, or drown them in alcohol.

“Really? Let’s test that theory, because I think he just walked in.” Your head spun around a little faster than you should have considering the tequila you had coursing through your veins at the moment, your eyes looking towards the doorway expectantly as you held your breath before your gaze landed on him. Sure enough, there was Derek, haunting your otherwise uneventful night out with your friends like a nightmare personified. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to see him again, but for every happy memory that came to mind, a dozen reminders of how you’d felt when he left you would accompany them.

“I doubt he’ll say anything, and even if he does, I’m over it,” you reaffirmed, nodding your head as you looked back at your friends seated around the table.

“You’re right. He never did talk much. I always wondered what exactly you saw in him. He was always so…weird.”

As you opened your mouth to defend your relationship with Derek, you stopped, letting out a slight huff instead. You knew your friends were baiting you at this point, trying to get you to prove that you weren’t truly over Derek. And really, how could you be? He was your first everything - your mother warned you that you never forget your firsts, and as ridiculous as you thought she was at the time, in Derek’s case, it was true. You still loved him, as much as you hated to admit it.

You still loved the way his lips would turn up into a smirk whenever you said something he found amusing, like he was trying his hardest not to smile in public out of fear his reputation as a stoic, reserved individual could be blown. You loved the way his eyes weren’t quite green, yet weren’t quite hazel - sort of a colour all on their own. You loved the way that he would steal a kiss when he thought no one was around, his hand resting on your waist as he pulled you in to his body, holding you as close to him as physically possible, your body heat radiating between you. It had always been like he was starved for your touch, despite having seen him just a day before, and as soon as he held you close, you could see everything in him relax, all the tension and trauma he’d been holding on to, melting away for a brief time with you.

Turning your attention to your empty glass, you frowned as you excused yourself to head to the bar. You felt your friends watching you closely, almost protectively keeping a gaze on you in case Derek should approach with an unwanted reunion. You let out a sharp exhale as you tried to collect yourself, having not stood this close to him in three years, at least. You couldn’t let him get to you. You knew what would happen if he even as much looked in your direction. You’d get pulled back in within an instant - faster than your heart could beat. You couldn’t let yourself do it again.

You pretended to not see Derek, indifferent towards him, pretending he didn’t exist. Ordering yourself another drink, you leaned against the bar, your back turning to him in hopes he wouldn’t even see you there. However, sooner than you could request for the drink to go onto your tab, a leather jacket-clad arm extended in front of you, holding a credit card in its hand. The smell of Derek’s cologne enveloped your senses, pulling you in, intoxicating you as it wrapped around you.

“I’ve got it, thanks,” you responded, yet finding yourself unable to push Derek’s hand away, knowing for sure that if you as much as brushed your hand against his, you’d be a goner for sure.

“I insist,” Derek said, without further argument.

Your drink was handed to you and the moment it entered your hand, you pressed your lips to the straw, taking a drink. You needed the alcohol if you were going to deal with Derek once again and confront your lasting feelings for him once and for all. You turned to face him, your expression cold and and collected as you looked at him, trying to avoid direct eye contact.

“Thanks, but that was entirely unnecessary.”

“I think I owe you a drink, at the very least.”

“I would have settled for an apology.”

“Fine, consider it my way of apologizing,” Derek said coldly, shrugging his shoulders with indifference as he nodded his head.

“That’s a pretty piss poor excuse for an apology, but ok,” your tone was bordering on cruel as you spoke to him, it almost surprised you how non-caring you sounded.

“Look, maybe I didn’t do things right the first time,” Derek’s voice trailed off as he spoke, almost sheepish as he stopped just short of admitting guilt for how your relationship deteriorated.

“You think?”

Derek sighed as he dragged one of his hands over his face in exasperation and frustration, almost as if he was struggling to find the words to speak, and to make you understand him. He huffed as he looked down at you, shaking his head as if making a desperate attempt to formulate his thoughts before opening his mouth.

“Fine, I admit it. I fucked up. Happy?”

“Not really. That doesn’t make three years of you never really explaining why you couldn’t be bothered to give me a chance just magically go away, Derek.”

Derek furrowed his brows, shaking his head again and sighing. His hand snuck its way around to your waist, pulling you in towards him with one smooth fluid motion. Part of you wanted to push him away, humiliate him by dumping your drink over him and storm out, but the other part of you knew that you’d been craving something like this for the last three years, and you weren’t about to throw it away, especially if it was the last opportunity you might have to kiss him.

“I’m sorry,” He whispered, almost inaudibly as he breathed the words into your ear.

“That’s more like it,” You felt yourself smirking as he held you close to his body, knowing for a fact that you wanted him as badly as he wanted you and vice versa. The feel of his hand on your body made your heart race, sending shivers up your spine as he gently gripped your hip.

“You know, if you’re willing, I have three years to make up for, I think,” Derek murmured, his lips brushing against your ear in the way he always did when he was trying to be affectionate towards you.

“I think I could make room for you in my busy schedule. You’ve got a group of girls who think you’re the enemy though, Derek. You may have to charm them too,” You grinned, nodding your head towards your friends who all looked ready to get up and fight Derek until they saw the grin on your face.

“Let me make things up to you first, then you can decide if you want me to try my hand at grovelling to them too, ok?”

#derek hale x reader #derek hale x you #derek hale fanfiction #derek hale fic #derek hale x f! reader #derek hale x female reader #teen wolf fanfiction #teen wolf fanfic #teen wolf fic

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jaypea00101010 · 6 months

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A single design problem I have for each D&D 5e class

Made this a thread over on bluesky and figured might as well bring it over here. Not really big problems in most cases, but just, small things that I feel WotC should tweak in all current 5e classes.

Artificer: No clear weakness.

A single class that can make great a great support character, DPS character, tank, single target attacker, stealth character, etc

Obviously needs to be built spesifically for each of these, but every other class has at least one thing they can't do.

Barbarian: No force resistance

Slightly cheating because it's not inherently a problem with Barbarian, but recently more monsters have been using Force damage instead of B/P/S, and barbarians should absolutely gain resistance to it while raging at higher levels.

Bard: Full-casting

Bards are designed to be a jack of all trades, it's right there at 2nd level, but they seem to have missed the 'master of none' bit.

Full spellcasting up to 9th level, a pretty solid spell list, and spells they don't have they can take with Magical Secrets anyway, even 9th level ones.

Cleric: Turn Undead

A holdover from older editions, turn undead in my opinion just doesn't make for a good universal option on clerics.

I'd much prefer something like spirit guardians or spiritual weapon be reworked into their universal channel divinity.

Druid: Universal Wildshape

Probably controversial, but I have similar problems with wildshape that I do turn undead, it's good, but a weird universal option.

If I'm a druid getting my powers from stones, plants, or the stars, why can I also turn into a ferret? There should be a few options to pick from instead.

Fighter: Action Surge at Level 2

Action surge is such a good feature, usually it's just some extra attacks, but the fact you have the chioce is great....

That said, I think it coming online so early incentivises unintentionally incentivises multiclassing, casters dipping for 2 spells a turn mostly. They've somewhat fixed it by limiting what actions you can use it for in OneD&D, but I personally just feel it should be later level rather than limiting it.

Monk: Ki Dependancy

This doesnt' need explaining, everything for monks costs ki and it really doesn't need to, they should get resource free disengage and dash, or have ki recover faster.

I had an idea for a ki recharge of 1 min, but less points overall, so you have all points for every fight

Paladin: Oaths at 3rd level

You get your power as a paladin from a sacred oath you swear, so why do you only choose that oath at 3rd level?

That's like a warlock only deciding their patron at 3rd, or a cleric only deciding their god at 3rd (Yes 1D&D does this and I hate it).

Ranger: Spells Known

Why do rangers, the class that's meant to be about being the best prepared for the wilderness and natural areas not have prepared spells?

It just seems so obvious to me, and I've got no idea why it's not done like that already?!

Rogue: Is Pretty Good

If anything I'd say that I'm not a fan of skill floors like reliable talent, and expertise not letting you use it on other tools is a bit strange, maybe the large subclass level gap?

Yeah overall I'm a fan of rogues though, they're just solidly made.

Sorcerer: Spells Known

They tried to fix this in Tasha's with subclass spell lists, and I think that's good idea generally, but letting them swap them for (admittedly limited) options from 3 different spell lists is also weird

Just give them subclass spells they can't swap, or maybe can swap fron one list and you're good.

Warlock: EB is a Cantrip

Eldritch Blast is a good spell. Too good to be honest with multiclassing at least, it's one of the reasons PalLock is such a good combo.

EB should scale with Warlock level so be a feature not a cantrip, or cantrip scaling with warlock level like it was in that One D&D UA that they then reverted.

Wizard: Subclass Theming

Tying wizard subclasses to schools was a bad idea, and what we've gotten outside the PHB seems to be an attempt to go back on that.

It also means they don't have room to explore all of each school, I'd love a teleport or summon focused wizard but school of conjuration smashes them together weirdly

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bonnieisaway · 2 months

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anyways while I was editing earlier we have almost a precise ranking of power for the shadow killers despite most of them not actually ever saying/their official ranking never been mentioned. and most of this is either just mentioned in passing or can be guessed from the way the show presents them. up to season 4 spoilers ahead btw

so like, obviously Seven (in his prime, at least - do you think the second spot ever took his when he disappeared btw? like do you think there was a time where he was just labelled missing for ages before somebody else became number one?) was rank number one, it's said and talked about like a million times, Seven was conclusively the highest ranked and most powerful shadow killer by 18 years old.

along with this we hear one other thing: Green Phoenix is mentioned to be the (physically) weakest Shadow Killer. given how much people are sticklers for the rankings we can presume this puts him at the lowest of the seven, even if he chose to appear weaker than he is and his focus is majorly on cunning and wit rather than martial prowess, I assume this is where he's offically ranked honestly

everyone else has never had their number mentioned - or if it was said in some obscure place i don't know it's not on the wiki, but let's be fucking for real nothing is on the wiki seriously one of us might wanna update that thing one day anyways - but I believe we can roughly guess where the rest of the killers rank given by their actions in the show and the order which the show presents them.

which - this might be a controversial one tbh - puts Redtooth fairly low on the list. he is physically more powerful than Green Phoenix, but Green Phoenix is able to outwit Redtooth twice, and Green Phoenix is technically the one who kills Redtooth. But also, Seven at fairly low strength was able to fight Redtooth and almost won on his own. Redtooth is also mentioned in season 4 that naturally, he was physically weak and actually struggled with picking up qi and such - he does not have a natural nor honed talent and his power ENTIRELY relies on the Blood Demon inside him. So he's easily outwitted, he's physically weak without the Blood Demon which, up until season 4 was still restrained heavily, Seven is able to handle him all the way back in season two. Notably, Dai Bo and the rest of the cast are unable to handle him however, even though most of them are built to handle aggressive opponents liked Redtooth.

But it's mainly the fact he appears and is 'defeated' so early in the show that makes me truly believe he ranks so low. Obviously we probably haven't seen the full capabilities of Redtooth and most of the cast however, and this is a ranking with the seal. Obviously he seems to be set up to absolutely rock White Fox's shit in season 5, but it's still really important to keep in mind that this is purely the Blood Demon.

after him the other shadow killer we have the most information on is Blackbird, who Seven ultimately beat into the fuckin ground but boy did we sure almost die getting there!!

So from what we know about Blackbird, from season three, is that unlike Redtooth, he is physically strong, and similar to Green Phoenix he's largely driven by his trauma and his need to validate something that's missing within him, but his weakness seems to really only be his own ego - his weakness (aside from the sun like a fucking vampire. cringelord) is when he can't win, when he is struggling, his frustration is ultimately his downfall. This is one of - if not the only - few fights where 'prime' Seven - or even just Seven as he is now - does not appear to be physically stronger than somebody, and he's actually just barely faster than Blackbird (being able to fucking FLY he's still got a bit of an advantage but Seven's reaction time is evidently quicker, and Blackbird comments that Seven's ambushes and speed used to be infamous - a prowess that Blackbird is almost capable to keep up with) but he wins the fight with wit and outsmarting them. And ultimately, Blackbird's weakness was himself.

Which is a lot to say he's really strong. But it's hard to place him anywhere on the leaderboard without a key thing that Manjusaka says:

"It seems you're the best after all," as she turns to Blackbird. This is (presumably) the direct translation, because in English Manjusaka actually says something different that I wanna touch on again later, but she turns to Blackbird and says he's the best after all. Which would imply: Blackbird took the spot for number one when Seven was missing. Blackbird had been second to Seven in the league - and some of his contempt for Seven may be because of that. This conclusively puts Blackbird in the number two spot for me.

The next three we have even less information on, so it's really hard to put them in precise spots. As for Manjusaka though we have this: she is very cunning and manipulative, and the other Shadow Killer we know to be infamous for their cunning and wit was the lowest ranked - because the ranks seem to have FAR more value in raw martial prowess and strength than wit. Along with this, Manjusaka never actually works alone. In English in season 3, when she turns to Blackbird, she says "I guess we're just better together," which puts a lot of emphasis on her working with somebody, and emphasis on the fact that she's USING the fact that Blackbird is so high rank so that she can be powerful by proxy. She's also the only one who seems to defend her other Shadow Killers - though they aren't immune to her own scrutiny, Manjusaka outright kills three people for shit-talking Redtooth.

Along with this - Manjusaka dies to Green Phoenix (coughprobablycough) and leaves her as an opponent Seven will never (probably) fight. The Shadow Killers have kept appearing in an order of higher and higher ranking, and Manjusaka is the third to ever appear, and of the three, ALL THREE have died and one came back. Just like, the order these characters have appeared in, they usually appear in increasing power and every season has ended with Seven fighting or about to fight a new, powerful Shadow Killer. Manjusaka dying already leaves her feeling fairly low ranked, given the pattern the show has exhibited.

Manjusaka is also tied to Shimen and are inseparable - what Shimen and Manjusaka lack the other make up for. Shimen appears slow yet viciously strong and stone faced, he's nothing but muscle and qi, and Manjusaka is fast and stealthy - she teleports around, she uses deception and poisons to best her enemies. They're also hardly ever depicted apart. They're only separated twice - when Shimen leaves the fight with Blackbird due to general disinterest, and when Shimen and Manjusaka split up in season 4.

(these two symbols fading into each other feel like they represent Manjusaka and Shimen)

They're constantly depicted together and fluently work together. They coordinate easily when that's not the normal for the Shadow Killers - infighting is banned and that's it, they aren't required to get along. But these two are two inseparable halves of one whole, they are both arguably strong on their own but they have glaring weaknesses that the other fills. Their weaknesses, to a point, are when they're separated. This also would seemingly put them next to each other on the ranking - together it feels like they make up one, unstoppable person, and it makes sense that separately they are at similar ranking/strength, just simply excel together, and weaker rankings would be the most likely to bond together to form stronger ones.

Not to mention, Manjusaka dies on screen at the end of the season four and that's it, and Shimen's fate is left entirely unknown because he doesn't appear again and only the leader approaches Green Phoenix. But during the opening for the entire season we see one shot of Shimen we never actually see during the season:

Shimen left alone and unconscious without Manjusaka. And he leaves the Blackbird fight unharmed, he obviously leaves the encounter with Ouyang Zang (is that his name ? straight up might've misspelled it sorry ) alive because he appears again afterwards, and it seems to imply that without Manjusaka, Shimen is left weak and vulnerable. So these two, to me, feel like they're exactly next to each other on the rankings - and possibly ranked somewhere in the middle

Which now only leaves White Fox, who we know the least about personality wise but we've seen some of his martial abilities (AKA: hey guys I can make a nitrogen bomb from my finger. wanna see) and watched him fight the prince of Stan, which does lead to the conclusion that he is fairly powerful, though it seems it's not really physical strength but his qi, speed, and reflexes that let him overpower his opponents. Given the rankings I've given the other Shadow Killers it naturally leaves him at a semi-high spot.

Which leaves me with my final (guesstimated) ranking of the Shadow Killers, with Seven during his prime, Redtooth's seal still not broken:

Seven

Blackbird

White Fox

Shimen

Manjusaka

Redtooth

Green Phoenix

Shimen and Manjusaka feel interchangeable in their spots, honestly? And I would almost put Redtooth above Manjusaka ...? But it kind of feels natural that he's below her. Also, I went back and skimmed the show to see if anybody else was introduced by ranking, given that a lot of people in the show had been previously, and I only found these scenes:

Which are all only labelled 'the seven greats' according to the translation, unless somebody here speaks Chinese and their rankings are actually said/implied in the Chinese characters and Netflix just didn't translate it which wouldn't even surprise me honestly Netflix just fucking does that sometimes

so yea 👍 that's my estimation on the rankings of the Shadow Killers maybe the show will prove me right eventually. this post took me like 2 hours to make. help

#scissor seven #killer seven #wu liuqi #seven #scissor 7 #analysis #manjusaka #blackbird #white fox #green phoenix #shimen #redtooth #bonnie is once again going stir crazy without content #absolutely nobody is surprised #honestly the rankings feel kind of weird #i supposed they're based only off kills or something similar.. ?#or maybe it's because we haven't seen the full potential of a lot of characters #but majusaka lowkey feels like she should be SO much lower #and shimen should be SO much higher #and i dont even know how redtooth truly is a shadow killer. i'm thinking the last one before redtooth called in sick /j #i mean they are all undoubtedly insanely powerful #i think just analyzing their combat and how theyre talked about for #the past 2 hours of my life has mentally isolated me from the fact that these are the 7 best in the world

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oceanallaround · 4 days

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Just some thoughts on almost driver team pairings and the potential butterfly effects from each, all very much AU.

Lewis Hamilton decided Mercedes was just too big a risk from McLaren in 2013. This resulted in their second choice (Hulk) joining Nico Rosberg instead, both giving Hulk podiums and wins and giving Rosberg the 2014 championship a couple years ahead of schedule. Maybe Lewis as Niki Lauda’s number 1 choice in a fading McLaren still joins Mercedes in 2015 but he’s joining a team where Nico is their most recent champion and as such their competition over the next few years is less resentful and Nico has the confidence to fight without mind games . In short brocedes but they were both champions before becoming teammates and it changes everything.

Carrying on from this thought in normal 2016 Nico Rosberg tells Toto he’s retiring at the end of the season regardless of the outcome far earlier than he actually does and they do manage to sign Hulk before he signs with Renault again ending his podium drought.

Toto gets his wish and when Valteri is struggling in 2018 on his one year contracts he actually does manage to sign Max Verstappen from 2019. Does this mean there’s a Max v Lewis championship battle ahead of schedule? I can definitely see it for 2020 in the HAM-BOT-VER podium era as well as 2021 of course. Knock on effects involve Daniel Ricciardo staying on at Red Bull and although I can’t see him beating Lewis or Max in 2021 the dominance of the car in 2022/3 may have made him a world champion if losing his edge was a result of his McLaren days rather than a natural progression. If it was a natural progression it is also more likely that Charles could have had a proper shot at the championship in 2022 as he did beat Checo (barely) even with Ferrari being Ferrari that year and it would be interesting to see how dominant Red Bull would have been in 2023 potentially without a driver that’s 15 seconds ahead- I can see multiple race winners for a start even if they get the championship.

A long shot that would likely never have happened but Sebastian Vettel returns to Red Bull in 2021. Ferrari drops him early on in 2020 (let’s say Checo never won that glorious race and he stays on at what becomes Aston Martin for a straightforward swap) and Red Bull was very much looking for a more experienced driver and what’s a better storyline than having Seb return to partner Max? This has ramifications of if Seb got his edge back and it was a three way title fight in 2021 plus he stays longer in the sport with a fast car, or if he was more a Checo/Valteri figure but managed to take valuable points off Lewis (let’s say Silverstone) for a less controversial end to the championship. You also get more of a relationship between Max and Seb instead of just parallels and likely some weirdness from Charles about that too. It’s definitely a bit of a middle finger to Ferrari as well.

The Ferrari Driver Academy does the sensible thing and does not listen to Haas about wanting German sponsorship. Thus Mick goes to partner Kimi at Alfa Romeo instead and gets a more functional team to develop in. Would definitely be curious to see if that would have made a difference!

Ron Dennis does not put a rookie in the fastest car on the grid but still speed runs his progression. As such Fernando gets his third world championship and Lewis still gets his a year later (sorry Kimi).

Oscar Piastri does in fact go to Alpine. This could mean Daniel Ricciardo stays on another year at McLaren with no broken contract when the car actually does get fast (would be interesting to see if he could make that work or not) and also that they might have a spare seat in 2025 where they would court one of their favourite sons for a Carlando reunion in a McLaren that could potentially fight Ferrari long term. Alternatively Alpine is breaking apart at the seems and Mark Webber still does his a plus managing and gets Oscar out of there for 2024 anyway. For 2023 it would mean that Pierre Gasly stays on at Alpha Tauri and that whole mess of Alpha Tauri musical chairs is avoided.

BONUS. Honda pushes for Max to join Aston Martin in 2026 just as he’s potentially looking for an out from Red Bull amidst new engine regulations and an uncomfortable environment. We know they want to work with Max again already. There may not be a championship fight but we do get Alonso and Max as a chaotic and sensational teammate pairing doing more than the car is capable of and a team where all drivers, manufacturers, and financial backers are properly pushing in the right direction. Or maybe he joins after Fernando takes a step away from driving and is in the back room pulling in those points with Lance still around.

BONUS. I just like to think of the pure chaos that would be a George and Max teammate pairing that is not going to happen but would be pure gold. Max gets infinitely annoyed at Mercedes for not knowing how to build a car but has enough experience fighting for wins and podiums in previous not too competitive Red Bull cars that he makes the best of it but George makes it very very hard at times and he is so not used to a teammate that won’t just get out of his way at this point that the “princess dickhead” tiffs become very common. George has a bunch of resentment that he’s not treated as first driver even now and from his side he’s not about to let Max pass just because he’s Max Verstappen and it’s just very funny to watch. Alternatively (in very much crack territory here) Horner has enough of Toto posturing about Max and signs Checo for one more year before stealing George in 2026. Toto shows up for a duel at dawn.

#f1 #f1 fanfic #brocedes #nico rosberg #lewis hamilton #max verstappen #nico hulkenberg #daniel ricciardo #oscar piastri #george russell #mick shumacher #the backwater contracts of this sport are one of the best things

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grizzlybeartist · 5 months

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some miscellaneous John Ward nsfw headcannons :] 🔞

-Anything even bordering on public play is off the table, not just because of his generally somewhat shy nature, but because this man cannot stay quiet to save his life. At first it might be more subtle, little gasps and sighs during foreplay, but as the night carries on those small noises will morph into full needy whines, desperate moans, and pleading whimpers of your name.

-This man is submissive, this surprises no one. He doesn't really know how to dom LMAO—He's also mostly a bottom, though he likes topping just fine. He'll generally defer to whichever you want him to do, early in your relationship this might be due to nerves, not wanting to mess up somehow, but as time wears on it's more out of a desire to please you. For safewords, you use the traffic light system, since it's easy enough to remember.

-This one might b a lil controversial but listen. this man is catholic. this man is queer in the 80's. this man is a PRIEST. he likes cnc. he likes feeling like he doesn't have a choice in the matter, feeling "forced", it lets him relax and not overthink the fact that he's enjoying it, since well, he's "helpless", isn't he? This is by far the most "extreme" thing that he enjoys, his tastes are generally more tame.

-I don't think he would be the biggest fan of bondage on the receiving end. Something light is fine, maybe handcuffs or a blindfold, maybe a shibari design that doesn't restrict his limbs too much. But if he feels actually trapped he'll start to panic a bit.

-While we're talking abt kinks, this man has a massive corruption kink and doesn't even realise it, though in the context of being the one getting corrupted. A holy man, a man of God, being tempted and led astray by someone he just can't resist, that layer of "we're not supposed to be doing this", it excites him, even if he can't exactly pinpoint it.

-Not the biggest fan of impact or pain play, the most intense he's comfortable with is being spanked with your hand or a ruler, and once it starts to cross the threshold from fun mild sting to actual pain he's likely to yellow out.

-He does, however, enjoy when something ends up leaving marks. Hickeys, scratches down his back, indents around his wrists from being bound, he'll end up looking at those little tokens later with a bit of pride and a lot of love for you—thinking of them as a physical manifestation of the bond the two of you share.

-On the rare occasion that he takes a more dominant role, he is very gentle. He's worried about hurting you, so he'll end up tying any ropes a bit too loose, and won't feel comfortable striking you in any way. He will, however, make you cum until you literally pass out, for lack of a more tactful way of putting it LMAO

-On this topic, edging and overstimulation are two of his favourites, especially if you combine them. You will have him head empty, no thoughts, legs shaking, begging and whining, in no time. He's so obedient that you don't even necessarily need to tie him up for this, if you say "hands off", he'll keep them off.

-He's bad at dirty talk LMAO. Both of you will end up giggling at whatever he tries to come up with. He loves hearing it though! Especially if you mix in some praise, and just the smallest bit of degredation. You'll have him melting in no time.

#nsft #written #john ward #john faith #faith the unholy trinity #john ward headcannons #john ward x reader

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multifandumbmeg · 1 month

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Can I say something potentially controversial? I haven't been in this fandom long enough to feel out the prevailing opinions so here's a take:

Idk why people hate on [redacted, not trying to start shit] when John B is right there.

I'm so (not) sorry but like- as someone that was and is so fucking lucky to have grown up with an absolutely ride or die tightknit friend group like the OBX kids, FUCK JOHN B.

Why? Because he's the only one that never checks in on JJ. He makes faces when JJ eats ROTTEN FOOD in his house like "wow ur so gross lol" like he doesn't know that boy LITERALLY DOES NOT HAVE FOOD AT HOME. He straight up ignores JJ in one episode when he actually tells him, "can we eat first? I haven't eaten in two days" like?!?? He disappears and leaves all his friends hanging when he finds [spoiler, iykyk]. He causes discord by bringing Sarah in where she was EXPRESSLY UNINVITED instead of talking it through with Kie first. He ignores Sarah's warning about the Nassau house and nearly gets them both killed. Meanwhile:

Pope expresses concern over JJ's situation multiple times, by hugging him, apologizing, and checking in. He's a kid and he doesn't know what to do, but he clearly does what he can and worries about JJ. He goes along with the group's schemes even when it jeapordizes his whole future and the life his parents are trying so hard to set up for him. He talks through emotions with Kie when theyre friends and does his best not to hold all the mixed signals against her after dating. And while I don't think he's right for it, he also criticizes Kiara for not being there wholeass when John B's dad disappeared, which shows he was. He's always getting into conflicts with and hurting his parents for John B's schemes.

Kiara not only comforts JJ, she's also the ONLY one to confront his dad (despite the danger). She offers to go in with him when he has to talk to his dad. She makes the connection between his reckless behavior and his fucked up childhood. She also checks in on John B numerous times in the first season because she knows he's avoiding and suppressing the trauma of his dad being most likely dead. She also calls ALL the boys out consistently, but usually with a lot of tact and kindness for acting out on the feelings they're avoiding.

Obviously JJ self-sacrifices for his friends all the time. Taking the fall for Pope, risking his future committing crimes to help his friends, and often risking his life for them, or making deals others wouldn't to get them out of a pinch quick. He also tries to call John B out for risking his and everyone else's lives on the incredibly slim chance his father is still alive and trying to leave a trail of bread crumbs early on. In fact, he seems to be the most realistic and honest about Big John when he's talking to John B, and the others criticize him for his lack of tact, but he's the only one who seems to realize feeding into delusions isn't a kind thing to do in the long run. He goes in INSTANTLY when he finds out Pope got jumped, he goes feral when Kiara gets kidnapped (long before he realizes there's any chance of dating her), runs headlong back into a fight with 4 or 5 guys when Raefe insults her, loses his job publicly defending John B from murder accusations etc etc etc...and let's not forget after getting beat half to death by his dad, emotionally trainwrecked because no matter what he does he seems to lose, he blows the money on what? A car? A boat? His shitty house with no food? NO. He orders a bunch of shit he can enjoy with his friends and spends the whole evening setting up fucking christmas lights in the trees despite the amount of evident pain he's in just so they can all be happy and have something TOGETHER. And I'm just gonna stop there because the list literally drags on like crazy, he does everything for his friends, especially John B.

And what has John B done for his friends?

Hmmmmm well there's that one time he stops JJ from starting a shootout with the entire sheriff's department and going down swinging by turning himself in.

Now on the other hand, he repeatedly manipulates his friends into doing things they don't want to or shouldn't do, often at the risk of their lives. He basically spends all of season 2 on a revenge quest, culminating in him not even considering that he should comfort his girlfriend when her father dies in front of them. Repeats what other people say about JJ being "just like his dad" despite knowing both his circumstances and that it's a trigger for him. There's that one time he goes home for the gun to kill Ward and basically ATTACKS all his friends to get through without talking about it?? And never apologizes?? Isn't ever concerned about Pope's scholarship, or in any way sensitive to the fact that he's BLACK and so much of what they get into involves his own generational trauma?! Is told several times Kiara's on the verge of being sent away to a Troubled Teen camp and straight up never once acknowledges or comments about that at all? Shows up to confront Topper and Sarah at Kiara's parents' party, knowing full well she's on thin ice and her parents DO NOT like any of them right now, including having just had a blowout with JJ, who insists on staying out of it.

Honestly, he got real tired of [same spoiler] by the end of season 3, so I'm hoping now they're dead in season 4 he's finally gonna wake up and start looking after his friends more because up to this point? Dude lacks empathy to a criminal degree and has a mad case of toxic main character syndrome.

Just like...as someone who was considered "the glue" to my own group of extremely troubled youths, all of us traumatized to fuck, this dude is failing with flying colors. Please look outside yourself and your romantic relationship some fraction of the time.

#obx #outer banks #John b hater club #Longass rant

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melonteee · 9 days

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Agenda piece is so incredibly funny to me, like i completely disagree with everything those fans say but omg it so funny seeing them lose their marbles over zoro vs lucci lmao

In a more serious tone, i have been in this fandom for about 6 or 7 years now (around wci, although caught up in early wano) and i kinda think that it is getting less toxic. Yeah, there are still many incredibly toxic fans that are just terrible to other people, especially lgbtq+ and female fans, and completely disrespect the story they are supposed to be fans of, but most people are a lot more chill and are more focused in theories and in story telling, as well as more open, compared to how it used to be some time ago. The fact that we have created the name agenda piece and are openly laughing about it, even as it has existed forever, speaks a lot about the new attitudes of the fans, and i m very glad to see it.

One Piece is in that weird area where there are a bunch of older fans who stick to their uh, agenda? Another bunch of old fans who have grown just to enjoy it, and now TWO sets of new fans who either have that excitement for the first time, or have been met with the controversies for the first time and it's making them angry LMAO

All fandoms are the same though, and I genuinely mean that. You just gotta find your corner where you wanna see what you want, and talk to the people you like, and you'll enjoy it much more. I think it's just about opening and making those chill spaces that makes a difference. As funny as 'agenda piece' can be, majority of fans on that side don't take it that seriously. I think we all have to learn to just laugh it off sometimes u know

#ask #melonask

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markantonys · 5 months

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I keep seeing comments (mostly from show onlies cause they don't know what's coming) regarding the Randlayne scene "oh God not another love interest like enough already." he has a lot of love in his heart! Leave him alone! Plus he deserves to have nice relationships now that he's out of that abusive relationship with Lanfear. I just have a bad feeling that people are gonna be really shitty about the polycule

yes, rand has so much love in his heart! he's not being greedy or trying to two-time anyone or to get 3 for the price of one, he is just Full Of Love! and he does deserve happy relationships after lanfear. BUT it isn't all about him, because elayne also deserves happy relationships with people who see her for who she is as a person, after spending her whole life lonely and surrounded by people who only see her title or want to use her for her position! aviendha deserves happy relationships where she can always have her heart shaded and where she can express vulnerability without fear of feeling shamed! min....................exists. djkfjg okay this is showverse, so show!min deserves happy relationships with people who care about her as a person and don't just want to use her for her viewings!

now, with that out of the way.............of course people are going to be shitty about the polycule. the majority of readers are already shitty about it and i won't be at all surprised if many show-onlys go the same way (though i'm sure rafe & co are well aware of how ~controversial~ a romance it could be and will do all they can to make it as ~palatable~ to a general audience as possible)

it feels like readers are split into 3 categories on the subject:

people (lbr, straight men) who fetishize the polycule for their own male power fantasies, but think that aviendha and especially elayne are too Annoying and too independent to be Good Girlfriends and that min is the only one who "deserves" rand since she "doesn't have any plot obligations to get in the way of being his girlfriend" (yes, that is a real sentence i once saw someone on reddit say with their whole chest lmao). i suspect this was the majority back in the day, but thankfully nowadays it's mostly a minority on reddit. these people want the show to have rand get to fuck elayne and aviendha, but only have an actual relationship with min.

people who think that one man having 3 girlfriends is inherently Misogynistic and Cringe, regardless of how consensual it is, how happy the people involved are with the arrangement, and how much agency the 3 women have within the relationship to set their own terms and call shots. this is the majority nowadays. these people want the show to split the polycule into two monogamous pairings, rand/min and elayne/aviendha.

a small fraction of people who genuinely enjoy the books' attempt at portraying a poly relationship and think it is a pretty good attempt for something written within the constraints of early 2000s mainstream fiction, even if it isn't perfect. these people want the show to keep the meat of the book polycule but just make some updates for the times, such as making textual the subtextual romance between elayne & aviendha and making min feel like she actually likes the poly aspect rather than that she's just putting up with it because she wants rand.

i think that the show-desires of group #3 are most likely to be met, but the beliefs of group #2 are the most prevalent, and so it's inevitable that people are going to be assholes about the show's version and start on that same shit of claiming that rand having 3 girlfriends could not possibly be anything other than Misogynistic & Cringe, while completely ignoring all the context that makes it, in fact, an equitable, consensual, happy, healthy, and pretty damn queer relationship. the Self-Described-As-Woke Internet Fandom Crowd is all over alanna's F/M/M throuple but as soon as it's F/F/M with rand/elayne/avi, they'll be crying Straight Male Fantasy. that's just how it is, unfortunately! some people just judge based on surface-level ~optics~ and refuse to take actual context into account.

speaking of surface-level optics, people will also be mad about rand getting more love interests what with egwene and all of that, so i'm thinking the show needs to a) have egwene and gawyn meet early in season 3, b) give them the most adorable and romantic meet-cute of all time, and c) make gawyn as babygirl and as lovable as possible so that everyone immediately jumps onboard the idea of him being egwene's new love interest and then won't mind as much if rand gets with aviendha later in the season. yes, this is all a purely objective proposal here, not at all me trying to cater to my own wishes djkfjgh

thinking of timeline, i'd bet they do the randgwene breakup quite promptly in 3x01, specifically because they need to start getting the audience adjusted to the idea of them not ending up together and there's no real sense in beating around the bush about it - the longer they postpone the breakup, the worse the audience reception of their subsequent romances will be, and i doubt rafe & co want that. i think the breakup will be entirely mutual, and amicable enough that egwene would give avirand her blessing later in the season and it would feel genuine (tho we may see some rand-egwene tension lingering since their relationship starts to grow mistrustful around this point in the books).

during 3x01 we might get some seeds planted for randlayne and possibly avilayne, but i wouldn't expect anything more than Vibes at this early stage. then, fingers crossed for a gawene meeting in caemlyn in 3x02ish to reassure everyone that rand won't be the only one getting new love interests! and then avirand will be the slowburn of the season, and they'd probably only juuuuust get together by the end, by which time hopefully people will be onboard with it - they should have a lot of good development time throughout the season to really build up to it and get the audience invested, and enemies/irritants-to-lovers is such a popular trope!

pair that with discussions of aiel polyamory and more randlayne & avilayne hints, and we're ready for elayne to join later; i definitely don't expect randlayne to happen before avirand, because i'm not sure there'd be a way to do that without it feeling rushed and audiences potentially feeling that egwene's toes are being stepped on. shuffling the order a bit to go for the avirand slowburn first and then add elayne afterwards just makes a lot of sense with the deepening of randgwene compared to the books. rand can't be getting into another relationship immediately after THIS version of the breakup (and particularly not with egwene's bestie), so it'd work better to have his first post-breakup relationship be the slowburn that takes most of the season to come to fruition. and they can reshuffle stuff to allow elayne a season 4/late s3 reunion with rand & avi, so that she can get involved at that time rather than at the beginning of s3.

(now, with rand/selene, obviously that relationship felt rushed & out of nowhere to the audience since they got together offscreen, and so people were very quick to complain about it, particularly for egwene's sake. but for this relationship, that's kind of the point. we're meant to see that the relationship means a lot to rand, yes, but we the audience aren't really meant to feel particularly invested in it ourselves, even when we think she's just a nice innkeeper. we ARE meant to feel a bit indignant on egwene's behalf, i think, because one of the central tenets of this season was that you can't and shouldn't do things alone, so we are meant to see that rand going solo has hurt his loved ones as well as himself. but with rand's actual endgame romances, totally different ballgame - rafe & co want us to truly enjoy, support, and feel invested in those, and so they'll be handled much differently than rand/selene, and hopefully will likewise result in different audience reactions.)

#answered #anonymous #wot book spoilers

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