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#to do not only what's expected or asked of you but what you
landosjpg · 3 days
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from my pov | ln
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lando norris x fem!reader
word count: ~1.0k
warnings: heavily implied body dysmorphia, disordered eating, insecurities, COMFORT
note: based on this request. despite of the previous warnings and this being more of a comfort blurb, i feel the need to clarify that i am NOT encouraging these behaviors and, as some sensitive topics are discussed, please DO NOT READ if this could be triggering for you or have any kind of negative impact on your mental health. i am also writing this from my own experience with these topics; everyone’s experience is different, so please be respectful.
and last, but obviously not least, if you’re going through something like this (or through anything, really) PLEASE REACH OUT! and if you’re not ready to do so, for whatever reason it might be, reminder that my messages are always open for anyone who needs a little rant or anything i could potentially help with.
and lastly, i don’t know how i feel about this one (yes i’m insecure about everything i post, leave me alone) so please share your thoughts with me as always <3
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it had started only a few weeks ago. summer was around the corner, and inevitably, your social media was filled with girls in tiny crop tops or “summer body” posts.
normally, you wouldn’t pay too much attention to them; you liked your body the way it was.
but this year it was different. the stress of the past few weeks had a bigger impact on you that you ever expected.
the first time you noticed you were trying your summer clothes on. the skirt you loved being a little tighter than the last time you had used it.
it was only a few pounds, no one could really notice. but you could.
you shouldn’t have give it a second thought, but insecurities got the best of you and that very same moment you had decided that you needed to do something about it.
you would just stop snacking in between meals. you had it all under control, and in to time you would feel good about yourself again.
that’s what you told yourself.
but your rule of no snacking soon turned into skipping breakfast quite often and trying to make your meals as light as possible.
but you found yourself checking your body in the mirror more often than not whenever you were left alone.
“i’m back!” you heard your boyfriend announce, followed by the sound of the front door closing.
you felt your heart skip a beat at the thought of lando finding you like that, so you tried to put on your clothes as quickly as possible and wiped your tears from your cheeks before walking out of the bathroom.
you slowly paced to the kitchen where you knew he was, one of his hoodies over your body and your eyes inevitably red and puffy.
when you entered the kitchen, you didn’t even need to say anything for him to knew you where there, even with his back turned to you.
“got us dinner,” he said, taking the food out of a white plastic bag. “your favorite.”
you could feel his smile even when he still hadn’t turned to look at you yet, and it broke your heart a little that you weren’t in the mood for some junk food.
when your eyes met his, his face softened at the sight of you. he knew you were feeling down, but he also knew better than to ask. you would tell him, eventually.
“go choose a movie,” he uttered, voice tender. “i’ll be there in a second.”
you nodded and walked to the living room, sitting on the couch and trying to find a movie that could lift your mood up. just a little bit, at least.
it worked, for the last half of the movie; it eased off your worries for some time, and you found yourself lying on top of your boyfriend, worries about your recent insecurities now gone for a while.
you heard him sigh, his fingers brushing your hair softly as you rested your head on his chest with your eyes closed.
“tell me what’s up,” he whispered. “you’ve barely touched your food.”
“i’m not hungry,” you answered, making him roll his eyes.
“don’t lie to me.”
despite his insistence, he wasn’t mad; his tone was still gentle, and one of his hands slipped under your shirt to softly caress the skin of your waist. the touch that normally would have made you feel instantly better, this time making you tense a little. and he noticed, so he squeezed your side, urging you to speak.
“i just haven’t been feeling good lately,” you mumbled after a few seconds, your voice muffled as you were hiding your face in the crook of your boyfriend’s neck.
“hm?” he only hummed in response, kissing the top of your head and waiting for you to explain further, not really wanting to push you.
“i’ve put on a few pounds these past weeks,” your words were barely audible, voicing your insecurities was never an easy task.
lando heard you, though.
“that’s not a bad thing.”
“but it is,” you cut him off before he could add something else. his hand slowly rubbed your back as he took a deep breath. “you’re only saying that because you’re my boyfriend.”
he chuckled, “don’t be silly.”
lando squeezed you in his arms and planted another soothing kiss to your temple, trying to find the correct words to say.
“i’m not saying that just because i’m your boyfriend,” he said, his voice almost a whisper. he held your chin and made you look at him. “you’re gorgeous, baby. everyone can see that.”
your lips formed a little pout as you heard your boyfriend’s words, which he was quick to kiss away.
“and nothing will change that, ever,” his eyes met your teary ones, the corners of his lips perking up at your vulnerable state.
“but i…”
“nuh huh,” he cut you off immediately with a slight shake of his head. “no ‘buts’, love. you look perfect to me.”
he softly tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear as he spoke, his eyes soft and his touch gentle when he then cupped your cheek.
“i wish you could see yourself with my eyes,” his whisper made you sigh as he nuzzled his nose softly against yours, comforting and sweet. “you’re the most beautiful girl i’ve ever seen, baby.”
“do you really mean it?” your eyes fluttered closed as you spoke, eyelashes resting on your cheeks.
“of course i do,” you could hear the small smile on his lips as he reassured you once again, the fingers that slowly creeped up the side of your body tickling your skin.
a sigh escaped your lips, your arms circling around your boyfriend’s neck as you pressed your lips against his in silent gratitude.
how lucky of a girl you were, you thought, for him to be just yours.
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waitimcomingtoo · 3 days
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The Script
Pairing: Peter Parker x reader
Synopsis: you and Peter break up once you find out his secret and he falls apart
Masterlist
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“We broke up.”
The words fell out of Peter’s mouth as he pulled his mask from his tear stained face. Ned turned around in his desk chair and pulled his earbuds out of his ears.
“What? No way.” He laughed dismissively at the assumed joke until he noticed the red rim around Peter’s eyes.
“It’s true. She broke up with me. She doesn’t want to be with me anymore.” Peter repeated through a childlike cry.
“But I thought you had a date tonight? Did something happen?”
10 minutes earlier
“Peter?”
Peter froze in the alleyway and stopped looking for his backpack. He turned around slowly and saw you standing there under a harsh street light with his backpack in your arms. The webs he had shot on it to keep it secured against the wall were still hanging off.
“It’s you? You’re the Spiderman?” You asked in a voice barely above a whisper. You were looking at him with a mixture of betrayal and confusion as you clutched his backpack like you were a child with a teddy bear. Peter still had his mask on so he stayed dead silent.
“Say something.” You seethed, a newfound anger in your voice and eyes. Peter gulped and nodded his head, knowing there was no point in lying.
“I am.” He said, making your face crumble when you heard his voice. You held the backpack tighter and stared at him as your face crumbled.
“What are you doing out here? Did you follow me?” Peter asked you.
“No. You never showed up to our date. I called you when I was walking home. Alone. I heard your phone ringing in this alley way. It was in your backpack. Here’s your stupid fucking backpack.” You said through clenched teeth and threw the backpack at him. He caught it with ease and dropped it to the floor.
“There have been Spiderman sightings on Youtube for years. Years. You never told me?” You asked and surveyed every inch of his suit as you saw it up close for the first time.
“Nobody knows.” He said quickly. “I mean, May knows. And Ned. And a handful of people I work with. But that’s it, I swear. I don’t expect you to understand this all right now but please believe that I have to keep my identity a secret for my safety. And your safety too.”
“You don’t expect me to understand?” You laughed and tilted your head to the side as if to ask if he was serious.
“I just mean that I know this is a lot to process right now.”
“It’s not a lot. You’re the Spiderman and you never thought that was something I should know. I had to find out on accident after getting stood up for the hundredth time. But, sure, I’m glad Ned knows.” You nodded and looked up so your tears wouldn’t fall.
“I would’ve have told you eventually. I just needed more time. If people knew who I was, everything would change. I wouldn’t be able to help people there way I do now. I couldn’t tell anyone.”
“Since when am I just “people”and “anyone” to you?” You shook your head. “How could you keep this from me for this long? We’ve been dating for over a year. And I’ve known you since middle school. How much time did you need?“
“I don’t know. It just never felt like the right moment to say it. I wanted to tell you so many times.”
“You just never did.” You shrugged. Peter recognized that the situation was quickly escalating and you were not reacting the way he always imagined you would.
“I don’t understand why you’re getting upset right now.” Peter said calmly. “I thought you’d be happy to understand why I have to miss so many dates and flake all the time.”
“You thought I’d be happy to learn that you’ve been lying to me for our entire relationship?” You laughed again as tears fell down your face.
“I wasn’t lying.” He defended. “I just couldn’t tell you the truth yet.”
“Yet. Right.” You smiled tightly. “We’re over a year in but haven’t gotten to the point where you can be honest with me. I see.”
“I am honest with you. This is the only thing I’ve ever lied to you about. I promise.” He said and tried to step closer to you. You immediately stepped back and hugged yourself.
“I thought you loved me.” You said as you stared at the ground.
“I do love you. How can you even question that?” He laughed in shock. You looked up at him and he saw that your anger had turned to sadness.
“Peter, you stood me up countless times. Tonight included. You let me cry myself to sleep for so many nights. All those times I walked home alone after already getting to the restaurant or watched movie by myself through tears because you couldn’t bother to show up. You knew I was feeling insecure lately about the distance between us but you still decided to say nothing to cue me in as to why it was happening. Do you know how painful it is to feel someone you love pulling away and have them tell you your suspicions are all unfounded? How long would you have let me feel that way if I hadn’t caught you tonight?”
“I…I don’t know. I’m sorry. I didn’t think about how this was affecting you.” Peter said quietly.
“Of course you didn’t.”
“Look, I know this is really upsetting now, but I’ll make it up to you. I promise.” Peter said and put his hands on his shoulders. You pushed him off of you and took a step back. Peter gulped and wondered how he was going to make it out of this conversation alive because he had never seen you reject him like this.
“You always say that. And you never do. I have a long list of things I’m still waiting for you to make up for. Why should I believe this time is different?” You asked him and folded your arms.
“It will be different. I promise. I’ll fix this. Stop walking away from me.” Peter pleaded and reached out to touch your face.
“It’ll be different. You promise. You say the same thing every time. And yet, I always end up crying over you. I shouldn’t have to cry over a relationship I’m still in.” You said as you pushed his hand away from you. An anxiety built in Peter’s stomach as he was used to you telling him it was fine every time he had disappointed you in the past. This time was clearly different and he didn’t know what to do. You turned and started to walk away from him so he quickly followed after.
“Where are you going?”
“Home, Peter.” You said without stopping.
“No. You can’t leave now. We have to talk about this. I’ll listen to whatever you have to say. You can take it all out on me. Just don’t go, please.” Peter begged as he stepped in front of you to stop you.
“I don’t want to cry anymore, Peter. I’m done. This is done.” You cried and pushed past him to keep walking. Peter froze when he heard you use that word and felt his blood run cold.
“What? Done? Done with what?”
“With you. With us. With all of it. I’m not doing this anymore. I’m breaking up with you.” You said as you turned around to look at him. Peter felt his stomach drop and could barely hear you over the sound of his heart pounding in his ears.
“What? We can’t just break up. I love you.” He protested as he got that feeling in his nose that told him he was about to cry.
“That’s not good enough for me.” You shook your head.
“What?”
“You can say you love me as much as you want but until you prove that, I can’t be with you. I won’t be with you. I’m done.” You repeated and turned to walk away again. Peter quickly ran after you and dropped down to his knees in front of you.
“No, no. No. Please. Don’t leave me. Please. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, baby. Just give me one more chance.” He begged as he took both your hands. You looked down at him for a long time as you thought things he wished he could hear.
“Please.” He whispered, barely audible. You looked up again but it was no use to stop your tears from falling.
“Say something.” He pleaded and squeezed your hands.
“I’m saying goodbye.” You said after a beat of silence. Peter made the mistake of letting his hopes build up during that silence. He stayed on his knees as you pulled your hands out of his and walked away. His tears fell rapidly down his face and it wasn’t long before his heartache turned into misplaced anger. He got off his knees and turned in your direction.
“You’re not being fair.” He called down the street. You stopped in your tracks and turned around.
“Excuse me?”
“This isn’t fair. I didn’t ask to be bitten. I didn’t ask for this life and all this responsibility. But it happened to me and I’ll never know why but I do know that I have to do something about it. I wish I could be a normal guy my age and take my girlfriend on dates, but I can’t. I have a duty to this city to protect it. I hate that it’s true but sometimes, I have to chose helping someone in need over spending time with you. You’re acting like I went out of my way to neglect you on purpose.”
“I understand that you didn’t choose this, but you could have told me all of that from the start. Then maybe I would’ve been more sympathetic. But right now, all I can think about is every little lie you told me to keep me in the dark. Oh, I’m sick. Oh, I have homework. Oh, I have to help my boss with something. Tonight, you told me you weren’t gonna make it to our date because your aunt needed help with something. You didn’t even care enough to lie about what she needed help with. But, yet, at least I got a lie tonight. Sometimes you just don’t show up.”
“I had to lie, okay? Do you have any idea how much danger I’d be in if you let it slip who I really was?”
“So is it that you couldn’t tell anyone or you couldn’t trust me not to tell?” You asked as you walked back up to him.
“You know how you are. You tell your friends everything.” He said coldly.
“Are you seriously saying this is my fault?” You raised your eyebrows.
“I’m not saying it’s your fault.” He sighed. “I’m just saying that you’re being kind of selfish right now.“
“I’m being selfish?”
“Yes, you are. It’s selfish to expect me to prioritize you over the safety of-“
“Of who?” You cut him off. “Of literally all of New York? Of the world? Where does your domain of responsibility end? Who do you prioritize me over? Where do I rank? When do I matter to you?”
“That’s not fair.” Was all he could say because he didn’t know the answer to your questions.
“You know what else isn’t fair? Making me have to be the only bad guy here. Because the funny thing is that I would have been proud of you. I would have been honored to be the girlfriend of someone who risked their life and gave their time to protect people they didn’t even know. But you never gave me the opportunity to feel that way. You chose to lie to me. You chose this over me every single time. You never chose me. That’s why we’re breaking up. I would have understood if you needed to prioritize saving lives over dates with me but I cannot understand you lying to my face every single day for years. I spent birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, and countless nights staring at the empty seat I saved for you that you never showed up to. So no, I don’t think I’m being selfish right now. I don’t think it was selfish of me to share my boyfriend with all of New York.”
Peter was quiet again as he processed what you had said. There was no way to undo what he had done and it was clear apologizing wasn’t cutting it this time.
“I don’t know how to be without you. You’re my best friend. None of this matters without you.” Peter said in a small voice. You sighed and felt sympathetic towards him for just a moment.
“Peter, you were and always will be my first love. That’s always going to mean something to me. But now I have to look back at our relationship and never know what was real and what was a lie. If you’re not going to choose me, then I will. I’m done waiting around for you. I’m done.”
“Please, don’t give up on me. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He croaked out.
“But you did.”
“I know. I know I did. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, baby. I’ll never stop trying to make things right.” He pleaded and tried to reach for you again.
“Don’t bother, Peter. You need to stay away from me for a while.” You told him in a calm voice.
“What? How long?” He blinked in disbelief.
“I don’t know. A long time.”
“But can we at least be friends? Like we were before?” He asked desperately.
“We can’t be friends.” You shook your head and turned to leave again.
“What? Not even friends?” His voice cracked as he called after you.
“I can’t be your friend. I can’t be in any kind of relationship with you. That’s what I’m trying to say here. I don’t trust you.”
“Ever?” He squeaked out. “We can’t ever find our back to each other?”
You didn’t answer him as you walked home alone. Peter stood on the sidewalk for a long time, unsure of what to do with himself now. He wanted to run after you and get you to see his side, but he knew that would just make things worse. You had said what you needed to say and he had to respect that as much as it pained him to see you walk away. Instead of going after you, he swung to Ned’s house and climbed through his window.
“We broke up.” The words fell out of Peter’s mouth as he pulled his mask from his tear stained face.
Peter let a month pass before he tried to speak to you again. Minus a few texts and voicemails left on particularly miserable nights, he had left you alone for the most part. But after counting down the 31 painfully long and quiet days without you, he went up to you in the hallway on campus one day.
“Hey.” He greeted you with an anxious smile. You stopped walking and looked behind you to make sure you were the one he was talking to.
“Hi.” You said with knit eyebrows of confusion.
“How are you? How have you been?”
“I’m fine.” You said flatly.
“Did you just come from class? Was it okay?”
“Um, I really don’t want to be mean here but why are you talking to me?” You asked him. Peter blinked in surprise at your response and lost all the confidence he had built up.
“Oh, um. I don’t know. We haven’t talked into a month. I was giving you space.”
“Why’d you stop?”
“Stop what?”
“Giving me space.” You replied. “I still don’t want to talk to you.”
“But it’s been a month.” He pointed out and realized how silly he sounded as it came out of his mouth.
“Okay? We ended a year long relationship and years of friendship. We can’t just go back to normal after that.”
“But…but we’re different.” He stammered. “We were different. I thought, I don’t know, maybe…”
“Maybe what? I’ll just forget about the shit you put me through?” You asked when he trailed off. He shut his mouth and went quiet and you couldn’t help but feel bad at the deer in headlights look he had in his eyes.
“Peter, I told you.” You sighed. “We can’t be friends.”
“I know we can’t go right back to how we were but we don’t have to pretend the other doesn’t even exist.” He insisted.
“No, Peter, you’re not understanding. I won’t be your friend. I won’t even fake niceties with you. I’m not trying to be mean but I don’t want you in my life in any capacity. I’m not changing my mind on this.”
“We can’t just never speak again. Our story can’t end like this.” He said quietly and you could tell he was on the verge of tearing up.
“It wasn’t supposed to. But it is. So please, just leave me alone.” You asked calmly so that he wouldn’t break down.
“I can’t. This is killing me. You and I not being together doesn’t make sense to me. Please. I’ll do anything to make this right. I still love you and-“
“Peter. Please. We’re at school.” You cut him off and uncomfortably looked around for who was listening.
“You’re telling me you don’t feel anything for me anymore? Because I don’t believe that. I know you. I know you can’t shake things that easily.”
“I didn’t think so either. But I’ve never been hurt like this.”
“Then can we please go somewhere and talk? I’ll listen this time. I swear.” Peter pleaded and stepped forward to touch your arm. You stared at him for a minute and looked sympathetic so he thought you might say yes.
“I can’t.” You said finally. “I have class. I have to go.”
“Oh, okay.” He nodded in disappointment. “Maybe some other time then. Just please know how sorry I am for hurting you.”
“You don’t need to keep apologizing, Peter.” You sighed. “I’ve moved on. I think you should too.”
“You’ve moved on? Like, with another guy?” Peter blinked a few times to stop the tears he felt threatening to spill out at this new bit of information.
“Not that it would be any of your business if I did, but no.” You amswered. “I just mean that I’d been mourning our relationship before it even ended so I accepted our breakup a long time ago. I’ve moved on now.”
“Were you really that unhappy?” Peter asked in a small voice.
“Well, yeah, Peter.” You admitted. “I loved you when you were around but it felt awful the nights you were gone. I felt completely alone a lot of the time. And even when you were with me, I was never sure you wanted to be there.”
“I always wanted to be with you.” He promised. “If you ever believe something I say again, just know how badly I wished I could have been there with you.”
You chewed your bottom lip and stared into his eyes as you tried to decide if you should believe him or not. You swore never to believe another word out of his mouth but his tired eyes seemed so genuine that you knew there must be truth to his words. But even if he was telling the truth, that didn’t matter to you anymore.
“I can’t talk about this right now. I have class.”You repeated. “Get some sleep tonight, okay? You don’t look so good.”
Another month went by and Peter was starting to feel used to not speaking to you. The thought of it beginning to feel normal to not have you in his life scared him so he called you up one night and listened to your voicemail with tears in his eyes. By month three, he pretty much just felt numb. He was falling to pieces very quickly and you were the only one who could save him. He’d seen you around on campus and sometimes get a pity wave if he stared too long. Every so often, he’d follow you home but keep his distance on rooftops. He swore you knew he was there as sometimes you’d stop and look up. He made no effort to hide but you made no effort to seek him out.
Peter was on his nightly patrol one night when his police radio started going crazy. He heard the words “bus crash” and “pile up” being reported over and over so he picked up his radio to listen for where it was. Once he had a location, he swung to the bridge and landed in the middle of the scene. Peter saw one of the large city buses on its side and twenty some cars piled up behind it. Police officers were already on the scene and helping people but Peters senses were telling him danger was still present.
“How can I help?” Peter asked an officer.
“Usually I don’t like seeing you at crime scenes but you might be able to help us. A bus is about to over the side of the bridge and our extraction guys are having a hard time getting onto the bridge with all the traffic.”
“Which bus?” Peter asked and looked around.
“It’s over there. Bus Q8.” The officer pointed out. There was a bus hanging over the side of the bridge with its nose pointed towards the water. Peter could see people inside trying to stay calm so they didn’t shake the bus.
“Q8? My girlfriend takes that bus.” Peter’s mouth went dry as his head shot back to the bus teetering over the edge of the bridge.
“Then you better hurry.” The officer called after Peter. The bus was on its side so Peter opened up the emergency hatch on the top and climbed inside. He calmed down the people on the bus one by one and assured them that he was there to get them to safety. As he spoke to the passengers, he kept an eye out for you but didn’t see you in any of the seats. You normally took the bus home at this time and Peter found it hard to believe this was the one day you didn’t.
“Was there a girl on this bus with a purple backpack? She was wearing brown converse and a jean jacket today. Did any see her?” He asked the passengers.
“Yeah. She was sitting over there.” Someone answered and pointed to the back of the bus. Peter went to your seat but only found your backpack.
“This is her backpack. Where is she?” He asked and felt his fear rise quickly. He looked around and saw that the back door of the bus was opened. He pushed the door open a little more and the bus wobbled at his movement.
“Did she leave?” Peter asked with his panic evident in his voice.
“She was helping a few people get out of the back until this little boy ran out. She told the mom she’d go find him. I haven’t seen her since.” Someone else informed him.
“Okay. Thank you. I’m gonna get you guys to safety.” Peter promised. He helped people out of the back of the bus one by one after securing the bus to the bridge with his webs. Once he was sure everyone was out safely, he began to search for you. He had an anxiety like nothing he had ever felt as he searched through the crowds for your face. As he looked around the scene, he heard a woman talking to a police officer about a girl falling over into the water. Peter felt his hair stand up and approached them.
“Excuse me? Was the girl who fell into the water wearing brown converse?” He asked and hoped the answer was no.
“I think so.” The woman replied but couldn’t be sure.
“Can you tell me what happened?” He asked.
“This girl helped me get my son after he ran off the bus. He had climbed into an empty car nearby to hide so she climbed in to get him. But the car fell into the water before she could get out herself.” The woman replied as she clutched her son to her chest.
“Did…did the car go under?” Peter asked with a dry mouth. The woman looked pained at his question and he already knew her answer.
“When I looked over the side, I saw it sink under the water. I’m so sorry. There was nothing I could do. Did you know her?” The woman asked and placed a hand on Peter’s shoulder. The police officer started asking Peter questions but he couldn’t hear anything. He felt like he was about to pass out and stumbled backwards. He took off running towards the side of the bridge and looked over into the water. The rocky river water looked especially treacherous that night, sending a sick feeling to Peter’s stomach. He wasted no time and dove into the water in search of you. He swam down and eventually found a car in the water but when he pulled the doors open, there was no sign of you. Peter quickly swam up to gasp for air before going back down to look again. He did this five times before he exhausted himself. He dragged himself onto the little patch of grass at the base of the bridge and laid on the ground. He pulled his mask off and let out a guttural sob as he covered his face with his hands. He knew he had to pull himself up and help the people on the bridge but his entire body felt like lead. He rubbed the saltwater out of his eyes and took another minute to recover. As he rolled over to get himself up, he made eye contact with you.
“Peter?” You asked in a shaky voice. You were wet from the river and holding yourself as you slowly walked toward him.
“You’re okay?” Peter asked as he got up off the ground. You were shivering from the cold and he wished desperately that he had something he could cover you with.
“Yeah. I managed to get out through the trunk of the car. I was on the other side of the platform when I heard you crying. Did you go looking for me?” You asked when you realized he was wet too. Peter was still in stunned silence at the sight of you okay after accepting that you had likely drowned.
“You’re okay.” He said and started to get all chocked up again. Peter took a step forward and opened his arms to hug you hit stopped himself. He stepped back and hugged himself instead.
“What are you doing?” You wondered.
“Giving you space.” He said seriously. It made you laugh for some reason which he didn’t understand but he didn’t question it.
“Shut up.” You said when your laughter stopped.
“I didn’t say anything.” Peter said as you threw your arms around him. He stumbled back in surprise but then hugged you back tightly. He buried his face in the crook of your neck and slipped his hands into your hair to hold you closer. It felt like muscle memory to hold you again and the chill in his bones was gone in seconds.
“That was really scary. When the car fell into the water. I couldn’t breathe.” You choked out and he held you tighter.
“I know. Shhh. I know.” He whispered in your ear as you struggled to catch your breath. You pulled away just a little so that you could look at him.
“I thought of you.” You admitted. “When I was trying to find my way back to the surface. I was so tired and my lungs felt like they were going to explode but I just kept thinking that I needed to see you again. That’s what kept me going.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t get to you sooner. I should’ve been here.”
“It’s okay. You’re here now.” You smiled sadly and touched his face. Peter returned the sad smile, the kind the made his eyes crinkle. But as he stared into your eyes, he couldn’t help but think of the things you had said the night you broke up.
“I should’ve been there for you a lot more than I ever had been.” He began. “You didn’t deserve to spend all those nights alone wondering where I was. I should’ve been a better boyfriend to you. I should have just told you the truth. I don’t even know who I was protecting in the end. I told myself it was you but that’s not true because you still got hurt and I was the one who hurt you. And I’m so sorry for that. I’m so fucking sorry. I’m sorry for all of it.”
“Peter, you don’t have to do this right now.” You assured him.
“I do. Because I don’t know when you’re gonna talk to me again and I have so much I have to tell you. So I need you to know that I’m sorry for all the times you got dressed up for me and just never showed. I’m sorry I let you think the distance between us was all in your head even though I felt it too. I’m sorry for all the calls and texts after we broke up because I could never stay away from you. And for following you home everyday because you looking up when you thought to was around was the closest to an encounter that we had most days. And I’m sorry that I clearly didn’t love you hard enough if you were able to move on so quickly. I guess the absence of my love wasn’t much worse than the presence of it. Or maybe the presence of it already felt like an absence. I know I was barely there in the end. I know you deserve better. And I hope you get better. You were always the best part of me and now I’m just the loser who got really lucky that a cool girl liked him and found a way to fuck it all up.”
“You didn’t fuck it all up.” You smiled sadly. “We had a lot of good times too. We were happy.”
“Not enough for you to stay. Which I don’t blame you for. I wish it didn’t take losing you to realize how much I needed to change but it did. So I don’t blame you for being fine without me. You’ll always be fine. You’re better off now without me in your life and I’m just falling to pieces. I guess when a heart breaks, it doesn’t break even.”
You started at him for a moment as your eyebrows came together. You let out a short laugh and expected him to do the same but he just looked confused.
“That’s that song.” You said finally.
“What?”Peter frowned. “What song? I’m pouring my heart out here.”
“I’m falling to pieces, yeah. I’m falling to piece, yeah. Cause when a heartbreak no it don’t break even.” You sang quietly and Peters eyes went up in surprise.
“Oh shit. It is that song.” Peter realized. “Damn it. I thought I made that up. I’ve been listening to The Script a lot lately. Especially the one that’s like “cause if one day you wake up and find that you’re missing me and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be.” I’ve been blasting that one so much that May had to take my speakers away. So then I started scream-singing it and she threatened to kick me out.”
“It’s so like you to accidentally quote a popular song and think you made it up yourself.” You laughed softly. “You said I so confidently that I genuinely believe for a second that those were your own words. But no. It was just the musical stylings of the popular early 2000s band The Script.”
“The Script are the only people that understand me right now.” Peter mumbled, making you laugh again.
“You laugh but they make the best music for yearning.” Peter continued just to make you laugh again. He smiled at the sight of you laughing at something he had said after so many months of silence between you. When your laughter died down, you looked at him for a moment the way that you used to.
“I don’t want you to yearn anymore.” You told him and gave his hand a squeeze. Peter understood what you were getting at and nodded his head.
“Do you think we could try again?” He asked in a soft voice. You smiled a little and took a step closer to him to rest your hands on his chest.
“I think so.” You answered.
“I swear, everything will be different this time.” He insisted. “I won’t leave you lonely anymore. And we can take it at any pace you need. Just tell me what I can do to earn back your trust.”
“I don’t know. I think maybe I can trust a guy who dives into the Hudson River for me.” You said with a coy smile as you nodded towards the water.
“I really hate to do this right now but that’s actually the East River of-“
“I don’t care.” You laughed and pulled him into a kiss to shut him up.
Tag List 🏷️
@thebookwormlife @imanativeofswlondondahling
@tom-hollands-wifey
@whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings
@imyourliquor-youremypoison @andreasworlsboring101
@peterparkoure
@justcallmehitgirl @jackiehollanderr
@emmamarshmellow @unbelievableholland
@sovereignparker @every-marveler-ever @undiadeestos @eridanuswave​ ​
@solarxmoonchild @canyouevencauseicant
@quaksonhehe @lovelessdagger
@thesuitelifeofafangirl @marshxx @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie
@maybemona
@alexxcorona113 @lethal-wisdom
@pandaxnienke
 @officialsimppage @peterbenjiparker @itsemohours
@freakofmusic25 @tomholland85
@olixerwxxd @leilanixx
@whereismytelephone @so-very-asleep @white-wolf1940
@spideyspeaches @hihiweezing
@mathletemadison  
@dhtomholland @insomniac-nerd-posts-things @prancerrparkerr
@hallecarey1 @adayasgeorgia @blackwidowisthebest @imawhoreforu
@ciarahollands
@nellabellaa @pinklxmonade @boogywoogywoogy
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liliavanrougelover · 2 days
Text
Would the TWST boys wake up to your alarm?
Summary: Would the TWST boys wake up to your alarm and how would they react to it?
Characters: All NRC students (-Ortho)
Warnings: none(?) (please correct me if I'm wrong)
A/N: I'm working on the Riddle SMAU, but it's taking longer than I expected. Enjoy these silly head cannons while you wait.
Riddle Rosehearts:
Yes and he’s grateful for it. His mother made him wake himself up. She didn’t allow him to get an alarm clock and just expected him to wake up, and that’s not exactly an easy thing to do. While he’s happy, he is used to waking up earlier than you. He probably gets up at 5:30- 6 am, I could never. He would either set up an alarm on his phone or ask if you could set one on your phone. If you set one for him on your phone, he would be grateful, but if you didn’t, he would understand. On the mornings where he wants to sleep in, he would turn off his alarm and let yours wake him up.
Trey Clover:
Yes. He would wake up to your alarm, but he doesn’t. Why? Because he has his own alarm. His alarm is set to the same time as yours because he’s not willing to get up at the crack of dawn. If you sleep through your alarm, he’ll wake you up with breakfast in bed. He’ll make sure he knows what you like for breakfast and he’ll make sure to make it perfect for you. He likes making breakfast for you so much that you may find your alarm has been silenced.
Cater Diamond:
Yes and it upsets him. He groans, flops himself on top of you and tells you to turn it off. If you do, he’ll nuzzle into you and fall back asleep. If you don’t he’ll climb over you and turn it off himself. If you want him to wake up, you’ll have to wake him up yourself. He has made a few magicam posts about your alarm. “Their alarm is the only thing I dislike about them.” -The first post Cater made when you first slept over. He tells you to turn the sound down or you’re never sleeping over again. The ideal volume is none. He’s asking you to delete it.
Ace Trappola:
It takes at least 3 alarms to wake him up and if you have that, he’ll be upset. He doesn’t like waking up and when he wakes up from an alarm? He’s not happy. He’ll reach over you and try to turn your alarm off while sleepily complaining. You can’t even understand what he’s saying because his words are all slurred and quiet. Once he’s fully awake, he’ll make complaints that you can understand.
Deuce Spade:
It takes 2 alarms to wake him and he’d be glad if you had that. He’s slept in more than he likes to admit so he’s very glad that your alarms wake him up. He���ll be a bit confused at first and ask you what that noise is. You’ll have to remind him to get out of bed or he’ll just sit there trying not to fall asleep again. He’s happy your alarms wake him up and he lets you know.
Leona Kingscholar:
It takes 5 alarms to wake him up and he hopes to the sevens you don’t have that much. If you do have that many alarms, he’ll be pissed. He’ll straight up tell you to delete it. He’ll make you delete it. If you don’t then he’ll send you back to your dorm. If you’re really adamant about waking up, he’ll get Ruggie to wake you up.
Ruggie Bucchi:
It helps him wake up. He’s used to waking up early to get him and his grandma breakfast so he naturally wakes up early. If your alarm is natural volume (not too loud, not too quiet) he’s glad that it helps him. If it’s loud, it’ll scare him. He grew up in a pretty cut-throat environment and he’s used to something trying to attack him. Please, turn your alarm down for him. If it helps you wake up, he’ll wake you up himself. Just please turn it down or turn it off. His poor heart can’t take it.
Jack Howl:
He wakes up earlier than you do. The first thing he does when he wakes up is go for a jog so he doesn’t hear your alarm. He doesn’t even know you have one. When he gets back after his jog and you’re still asleep, he’ll wake you up and offer to make you breakfast. It’s just bland cereal and milk though so if that’s not what you like, make your own.
Azul Ashengrotto:
He wakes up early. It’s what a good business person does. He’s very tired when he does though. He’s groggy and he’s trying to keep his eyes open. But, you see, he grew up in the Coral Sea. The Coral Sea is known to be a very dangerous place. Jade has said that it’s very cut-throat, so Azul has gotten attacked (probably) more than once. He hears your alarm and is sent into a full blown panic. He’s fully awake now. He shakes you awake and tells you that something’s attacking. You have to turn off your alarm and explain it to him. He eventually gets used to it. Remember to be patient with him when he wakes you up the moment your alarm goes off.
Jade Leech:
Jade has his own alarm. He wakes up really early but is still groggy. He’s thankful to have your alarm wake him up as well. He would wake up from his alarm and just kinda sit up in bed and stare at the wall, and then your alarm goes off and he finally gets out of bed. He’s especially grateful if you wake up from your alarm so he has someone to talk to while getting ready. (And he totally won’t convince you to wake up Floyd for him /s).
Floyd Leech:
Oh no. You need a new phone. The alarm goes off and Floyd lunges at it and crushes your phone. And when you get mad at him, he blames you. He tells you that you should’ve turned it off before it woke him up (Like he didn’t destroy it the second it went off). He’ll buy you a new phone if you can make him feel better after being woken up like that. Maybe turn off your alarm when you sleep over again.
Kalim Al-Asim:
He doesn’t have an alarm. He has people to wake him up so he never needed an alarm. He’ll wake up when your alarm goes off and thinks someone’s calling you. He’ll just nuzzle into your arm and murmur about someone calling you. When you tell him it’s your alarm, he’s confused. He thought everyone got woken up by other people. Whenever he hears your alarm go off, he hurries to turn it off so he can continue cuddling with you.
Jamil Viper:
He has his own alarm, but sometimes it’s best if he doesn’t wake up to it. His alarm goes off super early, like 5 am early. With how much he does, he’ll sometimes sleep through it. The first time you slept over, he slept through his alarm, but woke up to yours and he assumes someone changed the time his alarm goes off. Even though he claims that he hates sleeping through his alarm, sometimes he’ll turn it off before going to bed so he can wake up with you.
Vil Schoenheit:
He also has an alarm that goes off earlier than yours. He’ll be in his bathroom doing early morning skincare when he hears your alarm go off. He waits a few minutes before returning to see if you woke up. If you didn’t, he’ll wake you up and tell you that you should wake up the moment your alarm goes off. If you did, he’ll ask how you slept and tell you to brush your teeth, take a shower, etc. etc. (If your alarm is super loud, he’ll ask about your mental health).
Rook Hunt:
Rook is the lightest sleeper in the school. It’s his hunting instincts. In fact, if you asked him, he’d say he never truly feels like he’s asleep (He says it more theatrically). So, technically, no. Your alarm doesn’t wake him up, because he wasn’t asleep. He’ll tell you how beautiful your alarm sounds. It could be set to a tornado warning sound and he’ll still think it’s beautiful (just like you). If you don’t wake up from your alarm, he’ll continue to lay in bed with you. You don’t move, he won’t move.
Epel Felmier:
Your alarm wakes him up and he’s grumpy. It doesn’t matter what wakes him up, he’ll be grumpy. He needs coffee. He wakes up and just curls himself around you. If you insist on getting up, he insists you bring him coffee. If you make him get up, he’ll groan and complain, but get up anyway.
Idia Shroud:
He has his own alarm. He calls it “Ortho”. He’s used to Ortho coming and waking him up, so when your alarm goes off, and wakes him up, he’s confused. Was that his phone? Is someone calling him? Oh sevens, he hopes not. When he realizes it’s your alarm, he calms down. He had a mini panic attack when he thought someone was calling him. If you didn’t wake up from it, he just pokes you and if that doesn’t wake you up, he just lays back down.
Malleus Draconia:
Malleus doesn’t know what an alarm is. Your alarm goes off and he shoots up in bed ready to attack whatever broke in (At least it woke him up?). You just have to sleepily explain what an alarm is. Every morning he forgets and still thinks something or someone broke in. Give him a bit of time to let it sink in. He’ll get used to it, eventually.
Lilia Vanrouge:
Lilia has his own alarm. Five to be exact. None of them wake him up. So, why would your alarm be any different? Lilia is a heavy sleeper, especially if he spent the night playing video games. The only way to make sure he gets up is to drag him out of bed. He thanks you for getting him up and offers to make you breakfast as a “thank you”.
Silver Vanrouge:
It doesn’t wake him up. His own alarms don’t wake him and neither does yours. I mean, a loud alarm would wake him, but he’d also rush to grab his sword because he thinks someone’s attacking. You’re gonna have to wake him yourself. Just shake him awake and tell him to wake up. He apologizes for making you wake him up, and it’s best to just accept it. You can try and tell him it isn’t his fault, but he’ll keep insisting until you “forgive” him (there's nothing to forgive).
Sebek Zigvolt:
He wakes up the moment it goes off. He's up and ready to fight. He looks at your phone, sees that it’s an alarm and asks what’s happening. Just like with Malleus, you have to explain what an alarm is. He doesn’t approve. What do you mean you can’t wake up on your own accord? He thought that was just Silver. He offers to wake you up in place of your alarm. The offer is not as nice as it sounds. He essentially yells in your ear to wake up. The alarm is better.
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pomefioredove · 2 days
Text
boop
summary: booping them + their reactions type of post: headcanons characters: third years additional info: is short, platonic or romantic, reader is gender neutral author's note: this would've been good to post for the tumblr april fool's event but I missed out so you're getting it now instead!
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𝐓𝐫𝐞𝐲 𝐂𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗
hmm... okay!
trey often navigates his interactions with other students based on his interactions with his siblings
there's an order to human behavior, after all
especially with the underclassmen shenanigans (he's really seen it all at this point; don't ask)
none of his siblings, however, have walked up to him unannounced and booped his nose
not yet, at least?
it seems to make you happy though, so he just smiles
half of his job as vice housewarden is "going along with it"
he's pretty used to nonsense
𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐝 ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗
he's editing something on his phone the first time you try and doesn't even notice it
...and the second time, and the third
it becomes a sort of routine for you
tentatively trying to see how many times you can get away with it before he finally notices and says something
and it only spirals from there, of course
you'll up to him while he's talking to someone else, boop him, and walk away
(much to the other person's confusion)
does he notice? yeah, of course
do you need to know that he notices? ...maybe not
he likes the attention, just let him have this one
𝐋𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐚 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫 ⋆˚⸙˖°༄✩⊹
he gnaws your hand off
okay, not really. too messy for him
(and the consequences would be such a headache to deal with...)
but he is all grumpy because you woke him up for that
"What was that supposed to be? -_- Don't do that again,"
rolls over and goes back to sleep
you're lucky he reacted as nonchalantly as he did tbh, lions don't like being pet, and he could've kicked you out of his room in a heartbeat for that
(maybe you get a special pass to be annoying)
note to you: don't do that again
𝐑𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐇𝐮𝐧𝐭 ˚⊹˚₊🕊 ˚✧ ₊
boops you back right away
does he necessarily know what that means? no, but he'll find out soon enough anyway
and based off your body language and expression it seems like a gesture of affection
...which he's all too happy to return
(he's so excited to be touching you affectionately he could explode)
now every time you see each other you end up going back and forth for hours
"boop!" "boop!" "boop!"
that's one sure way to give Vil a headache
(you may or may not end up temporarily banned from Pomefiore for disturbing the peace)
𝐕𝐢𝐥 𝐒𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐞𝐧𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐭 ˚⊹˚₊🕊 ˚✧ ₊
you'd assume he gets annoyed, right?
well, he's a little surprised at first (people just don't go around touching him, after all)
then he just smiles
"Remember what we said about asking before touching, hm?"
you're lucky he thinks you're cute
(if not a little strange)
like, so lucky
congratulations on being the only human on earth who gets away with casually touching his face like that
𝐈𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐒𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐝 ₊✩‧₊˚⊹༄˚₊모‧₊
well. what do you expect
his eyes widen and his face (and hair) go pink and he internally freaks out (but externally just stands there)
"Um... What was that for?"
Idia might be a little more familiar with the conventions of a boop than anyone else
it's what you do to adorable little animals, right? like kitties and puppies?
so... why are you doing it to him?
if you say you "just felt like it" he might believe you
if you say it's because you think he's cute he will be avoiding you for the rest of the month
good luck!
𝐌𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐮𝐬 𝐃𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐚 ✩⁺₊°⊹ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ☽。°⊹
blinks.
has zero clue what you meant by that
but you seem happy with yourself so it couldn't have been a bad thing, right?
"I'm unfamiliar with that gesture. Is that a greeting from your home?"
you explain that it's a sort of affection you show towards cute things
"Oh, well... you're quite brave. I'm honored,"
he's definitely all sunshine and rainbows for the rest of the week
he's all but giggling and kicking his feet back and forth
no one really questions him
and he doesn't really explain
(if Sebek finds out you booped the heir to the throne of Briar Valley as if he were a kitty cat he will gnaw your hand off)
𝐋𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐚 𝐕𝐚𝐧𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐞 ✩⁺₊°⊹ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ☽。°⊹
pleasantly surprised, doesn't even question it
he is adorable, after all, he can't blame you for wanting to be affectionate with him
boops you back, of course
after all, aren't you just the cutest thing too?
if you try to walk away after booping him he will find you to return the favor
will somehow make it a competitive sport
waiting for you around corners, hiding in every nook and cranny so that he might catch you by surprise and boop you
(he is totally keeping count of who's ahead)
it makes the school a warzone for like a solid week before Silver's pleas to "please be normal about the prefect" finally work
(AKA Lilia gets bored of it and finds another way to be close to you)
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imaginaryf1shots · 16 hours
Text
His Girlfriend | Lewis Hamilton
WC: 7.4K
Lewis Hamilton x Verstappen!reader
Max Verstappen x reader!sister
PART 1
Summery: After your fall out with Max you try to find yourself.
Warnings: age gap(age not specified) mention of abuse, Jos Verstappen is an a-hole, Max is also an ass, bad childhood, bad father, cursing, alusion to smut but no actual smut
AN: So much love for the first part, I read all the comments and took them into consideration, hope you like this, and the ending. It’s a bit different from what I had in mind when I first started this.
Masterlist
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Max goes back to his room with Kelly, he’s a robot walking. Going on autopilot. Kelly is surprised when she sees him back so soon, she expected that she'll have to have to call him and ask when he’ll be back for him to leave you. He had been saying how he hadn’t been spending as much time with you lately.
“Why are you back so early?” Kelly asks but it was like she was talking to herself, Max went to the bed and sat down, his gaze was on the floor, before he placed it in his hands with his elbows on his knees. “Max?”
Max slides his hands up to his hair and pulls at the strands, Kelly stands in front of him, and he looks up at her and shakes his head slightly. “Fuck, Kelly, I fucked up, I fucked up badly.”
“What happened? Did you fight?” Kelly asks gently, taking his hands in hers.
“Did you know who she’s dating?” Max asked and Kelly shook her head.
”No, she said that you'd get mad if I knew and didn’t tell you.” She’s frowning at the state Max is in. “Do you know?”
”It’s fucking Hamilton.” Max mutters and his eyes well up with tears that he doesn’t allow to escape, tears of frustration and tears of anger.
“As in Lewis Hamilton?” Kelly asks for confirmation and Max nods his head with a small yeah. “What happened? What did you do?”
“I said some messed up stuff, how could I be so… so cruel to her.” Kelly sits down besides him and pulls him in for a hug, Max sounded so broken, he falls easily into her embrace.
”I’m sure she’ll forgive you if you say sorry.” Max shakes his head, and Kelly doesn’t know if it’s a ‘no’ for the fact you won’t forgive him, or he won’t say sorry. “Okay, just when you’re both calm you can talk about it, y/n, loves you too much to stay angry at you for long.”
Max doesn’t say anything and just lets her hold him, all his anger bubbled down to nothing but heartbreak.
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Lewis texted you when he was done with his meeting but you didn’t reply, but he made his way to your room anyways, you could be in the bathroom or didn’t hear your phone. When he walks in he sees the only light on is the lamp by the sofa, and he sees your figure on the bed under the covers. He moves slowly in case you’re sleeping, he goes to the side of the bed you sleep on. Only when he’s so close to you does he notice your shoulders shaking.
”Baby, hey, what happened?” Lewis says in the softest of voices, his hand lands on your shoulder and he kneels beside the bed, you slowly look up at him and he sees how distraught you are. He saw you crying a couple of times, mostly after a rough day with Jos bothering you, but he’s never seen you like this. Your face is as red as a tomato, wet with tears and puffy eyes and hiccuping. Lewis gets up and opens his arms for you. “Come here.” He sits on the bed and you just fall into his arms, the only arms in the world right now that could give you comfort. Lewis holds you and shushes you until you calm down. Once you’re calm enough he asks you what happened, and you just spill everything, Lewis stays silent through the whole thing, but his eyes go to the watch he forgot and guilt consumes him. He knew how worried you were about Max finding out about the two of you, he wanted to be there with you when you told him, and now your relationship with your brother cracked.
”Let’s get out of here.” Lewis suddenly says and you look up at him, tears still slipping out of your eyes every now and then.
”W-What?”
”Let’s get out of here, where do you want to go? It’s officially summer break and we can do and go wherever we want.” Lewis has the smallest smile, you shake your head no.
”No, we can’t just leave.” You blink a couple times, trying to understand where he’s coming from.
”y/n, love, you’ve always been where Max is, and you told me before you want to try and do things on your own, now is the perfect time, a month of just you and me, we can do whatever we want, no plans, nothing, just us trying whatever we want whenever we want, freedom.”
”That does sound nice.” You say and Lewis kisses your cheek softly.
”Yeah? You’re up to it?” Lewis asks cupping your cheeks, it takes you a moment before you give in and say yes. “Let’s go then.”
”Wait now?”
”Yes now! What better time than now.”
”I guess you’re right.”
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And Lewis was true to his word, he took you wherever you wanted and did whatever you wanted. It was so liberating, waking up and wanting to do something to just do it without second guessing yourself. Your phone was turned off all that time, you called your mum and assured her you're fine and you'll be off grid for the summer break. She could tell that something was wrong and when she asked you, you just told her that you had a fight with Max and to not tell him that you called.
Max did call her asking if she saw you and she said no, leaving him confused, you had nowhere to go but Monaco or go back to your mother's house. Victoria also gave him no answer, he had a feeling you were with Lewis but Lewis was posting on his Instagram and was online and there was no sign he was with anyone. He was also doing things Max didn't think you'd like.
Lewis's phone was filled with photos of you both but those were for you both only, you also got a camera and it was filled with all the memories you both made, memories you want to hold onto forever. Lewis took you skydiving, he took you surfing, he took you diving, he took you racing with street cars, he took you karting, he even took you caving. You went from one country to the other, he even took you home to the UK and you met his family, you met his nieces and Roscoe. Everyone was very welcoming to you, and you weren't the only one giving love you were receiving as you were giving and it was a nice feeling, a feeling you didn't know how much you missed until you felt it. Lewis's family dynamics is so different from the one you grew up in, his parents are divorced but the divorce didn't affect his family like it affected yours, his parents are civil and respectful and Lewis grew up with love and positivity even when they had nothing.
”What are you thinking about?” Lewis asks softly, you’re both in a bathtub in the Maldives enjoying a relaxing time after surfing for hours, the sun has yet to set. Your hands were on Lewis’s thighs near his knees, his arms resting on the sides of the tub. You hummed softly before you leaned your head to the side and up to be able to see his face.
”You.” A soft laugh escapes his lips and you smile, feeling the vibration of his laugh against your back.
”What are you really thinking about?” Lewis asks again and you breath in and out slowly, still looking at him.
“You.” You say again and if asked you a thousand times you’d still say him, he’s all you think about, he’s consuming your thoughts and your feelings, he’s all you can feel and all you can smell, he’s filling your senses and you don’t want him to stop. Lewis’s nose nudges yours softly and he leans in capturing your lips in his own in a passionate kiss, you cup his face feeling his beard before your hands moves to his loose hair out of the braids or twists he has while he races, you tug slightly making him groan, his hand moves to your back to pull you closer. “You’re all I think about.” You manage to say between kisses, turning in the tub so you’re straddling him. Your hands moving from his chest to his shoulders. Lewis nibbles on your bottom lip soft sighs leaving your lips, the kisses slow down and Lewis pulls back only a fraction.
”You’re all I think about too, all of you love.” Lewis says and his hands move from your waist, one up to your neck the other down to your butt.
Let’s say you both came out of the tub when the water was no longer warm, it was far too cold when you stepped out of it.
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The summer break was over and Lewis was in the paddock and racing. For the first time in your life you’ve missed a race that Max was in, it caused your anxiety to kick off but there’s no way you’d be back and support him after what he said. So you gathered your things from the small Monaco apartment custody of Max, and flew to your mother’s house, also custody of Max, but it was either that or to move in with Lewis. He did offer but you wanted to wait, your relationship already progressed faster than normal, and you wanted to think about what you want to do in your life. Spending your time with Lewis made you realise how much your life revolved around your brother and it’s now time for you to find your own thing, it’s overdue.
You discover from your mum and sister that they still don’t know what happened and besides telling them that Max said some hurtful things you don’t elaborate. This is between you and your brother and you know for a fact they’ll both get upset with him if they know the whole thing, And after everything you still care about him. You also found out that your father is pissed that you dropped off the face of the earth and no one was informed of it before, not because he cared about you but because you were the one managing Max’s social media and they had to scramble to find a replacement for you in a record time.
After a race where Lewis finished 2nd you called him to congratulate him and you guys facetimed for hours.
”Have you thought about what you want to do?” Lewis asked you, he was going through some of his clothes to find an outfit for the dinner he was having with his LH team.
”I’m not 100% sure yet, but I want to do something with racing. I've thought about a lot of things but racing has always been my life and even though I’m not a driver I want to be in motorsport one way or another.” You tell him laying on your bed with your phone propped up against a spare pillow to show you. “The other shirt looked better.”
”This one?” Lewis asked, holding the sage green shirt he was holding, you hum and he places it on the bed. “We can think of something, motorsport is always in the need of jobs, we can both think about it.” There’s a moment of comfortable silence before Lewis remembers something. “Did you tell your mum about me?”
”Not yet, I will before the next time I fly to see you.” You tell him, your mum has been curious but she isn’t pushy, when she saw you weren’t up to it she didn’t press further.
”And when is that?” Lewis asked, picking up his phone, it’s been three weeks since you last saw each other, not a lot of time, but since you first met you haven’t been away from each other for that long.
“When do you want me?” You ask him moving onto your stomach and place the phone against the headboard.
”Yesterday.” You couldn’t help but giggle, a smile stretches against Lewis’s lips. “Do you want to come to the next race? See how it is inside Mercedes before we go to Ferrari next year.”
You absolutely love how it’s ‘we’ and not ‘me’ you’re both going to Ferrari in Lewis’s mind. “That’ll make me the person that went to three different garages in the smallest amount of time.”
”Well, I’m for one glad that two of them are because of me.” Lewis was now laying on his back one arm resting on his head, the other one holding his phone up. “But seriously, do you want to come to the US with me?”
”I don’t know.” You mumble suddenly not sure, you weren’t ready to see Max yet, and you don’t know when and if you’ll ever be ready.
”Hey, if you’re not ready, that's alright, you can come whenever you’re ready.” Lewis the ever understanding man that he is comforts you. “You can also come and we’ll find a way to sneak you in without anyone seeing you.”
”No, no it’s okay.” You say nodding to yourself, maybe going and facing whatever comes your way is the best thing to do to get over what happened, you won’t be able to avoid your brother forever, he is after all your brother. “We don’t have to hide, I miss the paddock anyway.”
”Believe it or not but the fans miss you too.”
”Miss me?” You ask him confused, you haven’t really been online much.
”Yeah, #wheresy/n was trending all week.” Lewis informs you amused and you laugh at that.
“Really?” You ask intrigued.
”Yeah, the first race you missed, fans have pointed it out and you weren’t there for the Dutch Grand Prix so that made them wonder even more.” Lewis heard Max being asked about you but he didn’t answer the question and just dodged it, but Lewis wasn’t about to tell you that. He also wasn’t about to tell you that Max hasn’t said a word to him, not that they were ever talkative but Lewis was on the podium with Max and Max usually talks with whoever is on the podium with him. But Lewis would take a silent Max over an angry Max for your sake any day of the week.
And so you packed your bags, met Lewis in the UK airport before you flew together to the US. You always loved the Austin GP, but experiencing everything with Lewis felt different. It felt new. Lewis’s team were informed of you and they were ready for the media storm heading your way once you hit the paddock with Lewis and not Max after dispersing for almost two months.
You got dressed with Lewis for the media day, not in team kits not in RedBull colours but in an all new outfit that fits you and who you want to be, also an outfit that’s worthy of Lewis Hamilton’s girlfriend.
Walking in the paddock, all the cameras turned to you both, Lewis had his hand laced in yours. Uncaring for all the screaming and shouting from fans and camera men alike. Everyone was shocked to see you both together. There was no hint, no rumours, no sightings, no nothing.
“Are you okay?” Lewis asked in your ear so you’d be able to hear him clearly.
”I’m alright.” You say and give him a smile, and the poker face he had melted into a smile.
By the time you reached the Mercedes hospitality, you were sure the whole grid heard of you coming with Lewis. The hospitality was different from RedBull, Lewis had to go change and get ready for the media, so you were left with one of his team members, she showed you around. Took you to the garage and everything, she pointed to Lewis's driver room, and everything. You sat with his team while he went to do his duties.
Lewis was on for the sofa press interview this week, Max wasn’t so that was good for him. Lando, Yuki, Charles, Logan and Lewis were the ones doing it for the day. Lewis was in between Lando and Charles.
Charles was already there when Lewis turned up, they were talking to each other before Lando came and took the other seat besides Lewis, he was fresh with gossip that he wanted to confirm.
”Lewis, mate, is it true?” Lando was a bit giddy with the information, like a small kid who was about to be told Santa is real.
”What are you talking about?” Charles was the one to ask, he felt like there’s gossip that he wants to be in on.
”Lewis and y/n.” Lando whispered and had his head tilted so none of the media could see his lips moving. Lewis smiled and Charles looked at his future teammate with wide eyes.
”Verstappen?” Charles had to be sure they’re talking about the same person.
”Yep.” Lewis said popping the ‘p’ he looked overly happy with himself, Lando laughed and patted his shoulder.
“That came out of nowhere.” Lando commented and Lewis shrugged.
”Not really.” That caught their attention again.
”Since when?” Charles asked.
”Most of the season.”
”Wow.” Was all Lando could say.
”And Max?”
“Not happy.” Lando is close friends with Max, he’s bound to know and Charles is the biggest gossip with Pierre; they know everything going on in the paddock. Charles also knew y/n for most of his life. Everyone that ever raced against Max when they were karting knew the female, she’s always been there, not just nice to Max and his teammates but his rivals as well, especially when they were kids.
”That’s going to be tough.” Charles mumbled.
”Yeah, y/n has been going through it.” Lewis informed them the smile on his face was gone, he’s seen first hand how much it affected you. Max has been the number one person in your life for as long as you could remember.
“Poor girl.” Lando knows how much Max can get when he’s not happy.
Before the trio could go on further they were interrupted by the conference starting. Both will head to Mercedes to see you after, you’ve been friends with a lot of the drivers, seeing the ones that live in Monaco a lot.
Back in the Mercedes garage, someone came and told you that Max was waiting for you by the front. You sighed and stood up, knowing your brother he wasn’t about to leave until he could see and talk to you. So as to not cause a scene you just went to see him, it was bound to happen anyways.
Your brother did not look happy or comfortable standing there, the Merc crew were giving him some looks, but he didn’t shy away from them. His eyes saw you and followed you as you came out of the garage. You both moved a bit to the side, barely out of shot of prying ears.
You both faced each other in silence for a long moment, it felt awkward and unnatural. Something you both felt for the first time ever with each other.
”What do you want Max?” You ended up being the first to speak, otherwise it felt like you’d just stand there for hours.
”You disappeared.” Max said, you crossed your arms and took a deep breath.
”Yeah, I had to.” You tell him frowning. Max swallows and nods to himself.
”I was worried, didn’t know where you were, what you were doing.” Max tells you and you don’t doubt that he was worried for you, but it didn’t matter anymore.
”I told mum that I was okay.”
”Yes, but we’ve never not talked for that long.” Max’s voice may have betrayed him a little there because you heard how hurt he is.
“And who’s fault is that, Max?” You ask him, moving your hand around.
”Not mine.” You scoff at his words rolling your eyes. “y/n, we were fine before you started seeing him, he’s the problem not me.”
“Were we fine? Really? Because I’ve never felt better or happier than when I’m with Lewis.” Max had to take a moment to process your words, and he’s trying not to get angry.
”I thought you were happy?”
”I thought so too, but it looked like we were both wearing rose coloured glasses.” You tell him honestly. “Max, I’ve been following you around my whole life, helping you in any way I can, and I’ve loved it, I wanted to, but you’re old now and you’ve achieved your dreams and what about me? What have I done? What have I achieved? What's my name?”
”You never said any of that before, I thought you were happy with me, with the team.” Max was really having a hard time accepting what you were saying, but he knew that it’s true and valid, and if he accepts them as truth would mean he’s the worst brother ever for not releasing any of this.
”Max, I was happy, but it wasn’t easy for me and dad hasn’t been making it easy for me, I had to get away from this.”
“What does dad have to do with this?”
”You can’t be serious?” You chuckle dryly and roll your eyes. “Even RedBull employees have noticed hell Hemlut told dad to keep out of the garage, Max dad has been abusive to me, to us, I’ve always tried to protect you from it and not make it as hard, but you have to have seen it or felt it.” Max’s face was blank and that made you scoff. “Fucking hell, Max, the first day Lewis and I talked he saw the bruises he knew, how could you have not known? Or you chose to ignore it.”
”No, no I didn’t, I…” Max didn’t know what to say, you looked at him and he looked at you before he turned around and just left. You stood there stunned for a moment, shaking your head before you turned back to look at the Mercedes garage.
“y/n!” Someone calls your name and you look only to find Lily running towards you with Alex trailing behind, you open your arms for the golfer and pull her in for a hug. You’ve always had a good relationship with Alex from when he was Max’s teammate and thus you met Lily and formed a good relationship with her. After sharing a long hug with her you greeted Alex and you stood talking for a while, catching up, confirming the paddock rumours, and having a laugh. Lando was the first person to join you, before Kika and Alexandria did as well. And so some people joined some left but this spot near Mercedes you stood talking to everyone.
By the time you were back in the garage it was time for lunch, Lewis was in his room after he came, said hello and left you with your friends. You knock on his door hearing a come in, you open the door and walk in.
“Hi.” You say softly and make your way to the sofa he was sitting on, you lay down your head in his lap and close your eyes.
”Hi.” Lewis’s hands move to your hair to run through them and you close your eyes. “I heard Max came around.” You hum but don’t say anything or open your eyes. “Want to talk about it?”
You tell him what happened between the two of you, all the while he’s nodding and giving you one word answers, by the time you’re done, you’ve sat up and Lewis has one hand on your knee in comfort.
“Well, love, I think you just give him time, he needs to process everything.” Lewis knows that you want to fix whatever’s been broken between you and Max. “In a few days or a week he’ll call you and you’re going to have to talk again, he wants to fix this as much as you do.”
”I don’t know.” You mumble.
”I know, trust me.” Lewis says and raises your chen so he can meet your eyes.
”I trust you.” You say and lean in to peck his lips.
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Well Lewis was wrong, Max didn’t come to talk to you in a few days or a week, Max came after a few hours. You were in the room you shared with Lewis after the long day you had on track, you already showered and dressed in one of Lewis’s shirts and panties, not planning on seeing anyone or going out.
So when you heard someone knock on the door, Lewis went to see who, he was dressed in some basketball shorts and didn’t have a shirt on, his braids out of the twist he does at the back of his head.
“y/n.” Lewis called your name, making you get off the bed and towards the door, walking out of the bedroom of the suite you see Max standing there glaring at your boyfriend while Lewis was looking at you, not seeing the looks your brother is sending him.
”Max… I didn’t expect to see you here.” You say surprised and confused. “Come in.” You look at Lewis for approval, it is his room after all, but just steps aside for Max to enter. You sit on the sofa and Max sits across from you, you look at Lewis wanting him to come sit with you.
”Can’t we talk alone?” Max asked and you look at him, the words ‘yes’ at the tip of your tongue, a force of habit that’s proving harder to break than you’d expect.
”No, I think it’s about time we talk, all three of us.” You end up telling him instead, Lewis throws on a shirt before joining you on the sofa, his knee hitting yours. Max isn’t happy about Lewis joining you but he has no say in it. “Why did you come? We talked today.”
”I know, but it- I just feel like we still have so much to say still.” Max says and you nod, for him to go on. “y/n, look I spoke with mum and she made me realise a lot of things, I’m sorry that I didn’t realise how much dad has been hurting you, I don’t know how I didn’t realise it before.”
”It’s because she’s been doing it for years.” Max looks irritated that Lewis spoke but he bit his tongue and said nothing. “You got used to it, it didn’t trigger anything inside of you.”
“That may be true, I just… I should’ve realised how much of an ass he is to you.” Max couldn’t meet your eyes, you take a moment to know what you want to say to him, not wanting to make or do or say anything just based on your emotions because you know your emotions will always choose him over you.
“Look whatever happened with dad happened, and I’ll never hold that over you and or blame you, it was all my choices and my actions and I’ve lived with it and I’m over it.” You tell him and Lewis takes you hand in his, you look to your side and see his soft supportive smile, you squeeze his hand and smile a little. “What I want is for us to get over whatever it is that’s bothering you about me being with Lewis.”
”And deciding to do what you want.” Lewis adds and you both look at him a bit confused, Lewis sighs, it looks to him like as much as you’ve both realised there’s still so many things in your dynamics that needs to be realised and fixed. “From what I understood, it looks like Max is upset that you’re doing things not with him or doing things for yourself without going back to him.”
You and Max look at each other and you go back to your conversation earlier that day and you realise that what Lewis is saying is true.
“No, look, whatever you want to do we’ll do it, you gave up so much to help me and support me and I’ll do the same for you.” Max says. “I want what’s best for you, yes I’d prefer if it’s you being with me, but whatever you want I’m okay with it.”
”Just not being with Lewis.” You state and Max looks at Lewis and sighs.
”I don’t think I’ll ever be happy or approve, but you look happy and Lando told me you’ve done so much… but why does it have to be him?” Max sounded desperate, he wants you to turn and break up with Lewis and just find someone else.
”Why Kelly? Why is anyone with anyone?” You ask your brother, wanting him to see.
”I love Kelly.” Max says instantly.
”And what? I don’t love Lewis? I love him Max, and he’s the single best thing that has ever happened to me.” You tell Max with tears gathering in your eyes and a squeeze to your hand. “It’s Lewis now, and it’ll be Lewis next week, and it’ll be him until he’s sick of me.”
”Not planning on it happening.” Lewis tells you softly, Max looks at you both, looks at the softness Lewis is showing you, he’s allowing you to say and do whatever you want whilst being there to support you. To have your back.
”You’re an adult now, y/n, you can do whatever you want to do, I’m not happy but if being with Lewis is what you want then I’ll try to be fine with it.” Max concedes but for some reason it rubbed you the wrong way.
”No, no.” You shake your head, and stand up and look at your younger brother, tears leaving your eyes. “You don’t get to tell me you’re unhappy, you don’t get to do that. You can’t tell me you’re ‘okay’ with it when you’re not, max, you know how much I love you, you’ve been my number one person since I was a child, I thought of you the first and last thing every day, I took care of you and helped you and protected you and never ever asked for anything I’m asking you now, to be happy, can’t you be happy for me?” Max stays silent and you wipe the tears away. “Fuck you Max, honestly just fuck off.”
You storm off to the bedroom slamming the door, before slamming the bathroom door as well, leaving the men alone.
”Look Max, I respect you as a driver, but you have to understand where she’s coming from.” Lewis says to Max calmly. “When you said whatever you want to do WE’LL do, you have to realise that you and your sister aren’t one, you’re not one being, your achievements are yours not hers she’s a part of your team but that was by circumstance, by a choice she made when she wasn’t even 13 yet.” Max once again stays silent, his mind is turning and churning. “I love your sister and I want you to know that she’s my number one priority right now, and I don’t think she’s ever been someone's top priority, so let her be happy, and like she supported you, it’s your turn to support her.”
Lewis leaves Max alone and goes to find you, Max hears your sobs followed by Lewis’s soft and comforting words. He hears you letting go and spelling your emotions relying on Lewis. He realises that he’s been lacking as a brother for so long, he’s never been there for you like Lewis is right now, and he’s known you for less than a year.
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Next day you didn't go to the track, your eyes were puffy and you hadn’t slept well, so Lewis left you sleeping in the morning with a text telling you to stay in for the day. Half way through the day Kelly turns up, you spend the day talking and catching up. Your current relationship status with your brother has no affect on your relationship with her. Kelly has always been one of the closest people to you, yes it’s because she’s dating Max and by default you spend a lot of time with her, but in a way she’s been like an older sister to you, or just a sister that you can tell everything in a way you wouldn’t with the younger siblings in case they get upset or you’d ruin their innocence.
She told you all about P and what she’s been up to, you showed her pictures of everything you’ve done with Lewis and told her about all the places you’ve been to. You shared a bottle of wine, ordered some room service and enjoyed yourselves. No talk of F1 or boyfriends or brothers, just two girls having fun, and it was something you needed.
Quali day you made it to the track with sunglasses and a Merc LH44 hat on your head in a less in your face approach when getting into the paddock.
”Hey, y/n.” Susie Wolff greeted you when the cars were out on track for FP3.
”Hi, it’s so nice to officially meet you.” You say pressing your cheeks to hers in greeting, you’ve of course seen the woman before but you’ve never actually talked to her.
“You too, how are you doing? Hope the Mercedes garage is treating you well.” Susie says.
”Yes, everyone’s been welcoming and lovely.”
”That’s great, I actually wanted to talk to you about something.” She says and pulls you gently to the side so you’d be able to talk comfortably.
”Yeah sure, what’s going on?” You ask her, having no idea why she’d want to talk to you about.
”I heard from Lewis that you’re looking into jobs relating to racing.” She said and you’re surprised to say the least. Lewis hasn’t told you anything about it. “And I have an offer for you.”
”Please.”
”I’ve heard how involved you’ve been with Max and that you’ve done well in karting as well, so I think that we can find you a spot maybe as a manager at first in F1 academy and then we can see where to go from there.” The smile that breaks onto your face is so big and you can’t help it, it’s caught on camera from afar, the text under your name saying ‘Lewis Hamilton’s partner’
“That’s a dream come true, thank you so much.” You give Susie a hug, and you can’t wait to get back to the hotel to say/show your thanks to Lewis. You both start talking more about the academy, working with women, what the job will entail, what's to expect and what other things you’d like to do. Overall it was a very lovely and beneficial talk to the both of you.
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Race day comes and you’re watching from the Merc garage, the race was intense but for a rare moment for the team in 2024 both drivers are doing well, and Lewis is up front fighting with the top 4 cars. You’re anxiously watching hoping for a good result for your man, and as the race goes on it’s looking fiercer, and you find yourself hoping that everyone’s safe out on track.
A good outcome comes out of the race with Lewis coming in 2nd after Max, you’re beyond happy, clapping and cheering with the team. You don’t wait for the team and start to make your way down to have a good spot for the podium, somehow you end up standing between Mercedes and RedBull, right next to Kelly. Just like old times. You both wait, like old times. But you’re waiting for different people now, each of you is waiting for her boyfriend.
Lewis makes it back first, he runs over to the team and they hug and congratulate him, before he takes off his helmet and balaclava and pulls you in for a kiss by the back of your head. your hands land on his shoulder and you’re scrounged by the screams of the teams around you. Lewis pulls back and you’re both smiling, he kisses your forehead and turns to leave. He just passes Max who puts his hand on his shoulder to stop him. Max has already taken his helmet and balaclava off, meaning he had seen you and Lewis kissing. You hold your breath as you watch saying Kelly’s name.
”Don’t worry.” She tells you as she watches the scene in front of her unfold.
”Take care of her.” Max says to Lewis, it’s only the two of them that heard it, but Lewis nods and takes Max’s outstretched hand, they shake for a moment.
“Always.” It’s Max’s way of saying he approves and he supports them being together. You finally breathe when Max lets go and heads to you guys, he quickly hugs and kisses Kelly before he turns to you. He gives you a smile that you return and he kisses your cheek before he turns and celebrates with his team. Tears gather in your eyes but with the amount of cameras around you well them away.
There’s still a long way for you and Max to go, you haven’t forgiven him but this is a step. He’s still a tad bit apprehensive about Lewis but he’s trying, maybe one day he’ll see it and he’ll be okay with this relationship and it’ll all be alright. But Max has to let you go and give you the freedom to do what you want, he’ll try to be better for you, he’ll try to earn your trust once more. He knows he has a lot to work on and he’s willing to do that, for you, because you’re his number one.
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Bonus Scene - Jos gets what he deserves
You and Lewis went out to celebrate with the team, and you’re thrown back in memories of when you first met, so much has changed. You’re no longer single, you wanted to go to the club even if you’re only having one drink and Lewis is having none, Lewis wasn’t forced to come as well, his team showed up for him. You’re both in so much better spirits this time around, you didn’t sneak away, you danced together. Lewis is singing to you as you’re dancing and you’re laughing, smiling and having the time of your life.
Walking back in the hotel you were laughing as if you’re drunk, maybe drunk on love. But alas, Jos can’t ever see you happy and let you be, that man has no sense of awareness or care, because why is he calling your name in the middle of the hotel lobby? Is it night time? yes. Is the lobby practically empty? yes. Is it still a public space? yes. Do the couple of people still have phones? yes.
All the laughter and happiness is stripped out of you in an instant, Lewis who was pulling you after him stopped, you both turn to look at Jos to see your father angry stalking towards you two.
”What-“ You barely managed to get the word out before Jos was throwing his arm to grab yours, with Lewis’s driver's reflexes he managed to pull you behind himself so your dad’s hand barely brushed against you.
“Whoa there man, what are you doing?” Lewis was boiling with rage, your hands holding his shirt the only thing that kept him from punching Jos.
“Step away, I want to talk to my daughter.” Jos stated glaring at Lewis, he was trying to make himself look bigger than he was, you were shaking with fear, memories from when you were younger flooded your mind.
”No, you’re not talking to her.” Lewis said through gritted teeth his hands turned into fists.
”This is family business.” Jos said back.
”I don’t care, she’s my family now.” Jos was getting angrier every time Lewis talked back to him. “You’ve got no right to talk to her, you’ve never even cared about her, we all know why you want to ‘talk’ to her and it’s not happening. y/n, is none of your or Max’s business anymore.”
”y/n, tell him to step away and come here.” You flinched when you heard your name coming out of his mouth.
”No, I don’t want to talk to you.” You tell him trying to muster all the courage you have in you, it’s been such a long time since you’ve seen him this angry, it’s like the old him came back.
”Don’t be an idiot, and come here.” His hand was pointing and waving around as he talked.
”No.” You shook your head, Jos having reached his breaking point tried to come near you once more, but Lewis moved, making you still behind him and out of your father’s reach. That made Jos angrier and the angrier he got the more he started doing things without thinking. You know your dad, you know his tell-tales, his ticks and his signs. You learned them, you had to learn them to be able to live and survive with him. Maybe it was the clench of his jaw or how he leaned on one leg a bit, maybe it was the small twitch in his eyes or maybe it was all those at once. But all you knew is that you pushed Lewis to the side, making him stumble and for a hand to come in contact with your temple. A small scream escapes your lips and gasps around the lobby, You stumble and fall back on your hands and knees harshly. Lewis is shouting and cursing grabbing your father by his shirt pushing him away, and security were on the both of them in seconds, Where were they a few moments before you had no idea. Once they got a hold of Jos and separated Lewis and him, Lewis was by your side helping you up. cupping your face in his hands, looking at the red spot, that’s bruising fast.
”Are you okay, love?” Maybe it’s a stupid question but he had to ask.
”Yeah, just a bit dizzy.” At your words Lewis led you to a sofa and sat you down. The police were called and you were handed ice, the dizziness has long since passed when the police arrived but a headache was killing you. Being in the US and how everything was already complicated, you didn’t press charges and even refused to go to the hospital wanting this day to end already.
Lewis bless him was acting as if you were dying, his arms around you to help you walk, leading you to your shared room, ordering more ice and painkillers, he took off your shoes and helped you slip out of your dress and into one of his shirts, he took off your make up for you and he moved the blankets for you to slip under them before placing them back on. You sat leaning on the headboard and the lights were dimmed.
”Lewis.” You say once he sat down beside you on the edge of the bed, he hummed his eyes not straying from your face. “I told you before we started dating that I have a lot of baggage and you said it’s okay and there’s no baggage… do you- do you still feel the same?”
”Of course, love, sweetheart, everything you’ve been through is just going to make us stronger, besides, it can only look up from here.” Lewis reassured you and takes your hand and kissing the back of your knuckles, you flip your hand and cup his face rubbing his cheek.
“I love you so much.” You tell him tearing up, the emotions he evokes and moves inside of you are too much, they’re all good and warm and lovely, but they’re too much.
”I love you too sweetheart.” Lewis turns his head to kiss your palm multiple times. “And I promise that one day, I’ll make you Mrs. Hamilton and I’ll give you the family that you deserve.”
”I don’t have to be a Hamilton, you’ve given me more than I could ever ask for.”
”It’s still not what you deserve, I’d give you the whole world if you asked me to.” Lewis places his forehead against yours softly and carefully not to hurt you.
Jos didn’t face any legal consequences, but videos of the accident were leaked online and the internet was eating him alive. RedBull had to come out and say he’s not allowed in their premises again. You heard from Kelly about the fight he had with Max about it and how Max cut him off, and out of his life. You didn’t care about that though you were just living your life with Lewis and focused on your new job, doing what you wanted, happily.
Main taglist:
@gnatthefly . @mochimommy2002
Taglist:
@itsapurrfectstorm . @seasonswinter . @runs-with-sciss0rs . @jajouska . @princessria127 . @thecubanator2 . @shelbyteller . @sugyomama . @emily-b . @torossosebs . @champomiel . @daemyratwst . @six-call . @jaydaaasworld . @ironmaiden1313 . @dilfsaresohot . @fearfam69691
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hotpinkstars · 3 days
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PREGNANCY CONFLICTS - boothill x reader
- boothill "passes" a few days after you announce your pregnancy. he's soon returned to you as a cyborg, and has a rough time with all of the realizations he discovers during your pregnancy.
- thank u guys sm for all the compliments im getting in my inbox about my idea and my writing i love every single one of u guysssss 💋 💋 and now the fic for my idea is finally here! i hope you guys enjoyyyyy
- mentions of insecurity, PREGNANCY, boothill is sad in this shdjfjsks so pretty much hurt no comfort in a very mild way, "M,d,y" means month, day, year, his way of death is not canon i made something up!!! wc 1.5k
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Boothill has always talked about being a father. With how optimistic about your guys’ future he was, you could already tell he’d be a great, great father. So when you announced your pregnancy to him, he was ecstatic.
He spun you around in the air, putting you down to kiss you passionately. To him, all of his dreams have come true. As if you’ve given him a strong purpose in life, to not only protect you but to protect his little, and hopefully more to come.
“Thank you,” he mumbled into your shoulder as he held you tightly. “Thank you for giving me such an opportunity.”
But then a few days after you announced it to him, he went missing. You spent day and night trying to contact people, get cops on the case, and go out there with someone yourself and try to find him. The cops brought a necklace, splotched in blood, with your initials on it. Saying they found his body and it was barely recognizable. They knew it was him because of the necklace around his neck and the wedding band that was stuck on a stray tree branch.
As both of those were returned back to you, you felt as if you couldn’t look at them without absolutely breaking down. You were set under the impression that he was gone forever. You felt horrible- not only for yourself, but the life you assumed your baby would have, being born into a world where they only have a mother who's trying her absolute best to provide and make sure their life goes as smoothly as possible.
On the 16th week of your pregnancy was when you heard a knock on the door late at night. Who could it be at this hour? You irritatingly got up and walked over to see who would be there.
It was who you were least expecting.
Boothill.
You stood there, unable to register what was happening. You had a hand on your stomach and the other was gripping the door handle. He stopped and stared at you back before beginning to speak.
“Y/n,” he said, nearly a whisper before he took a step closer to you. You didn’t step back, which was a good thing in his eyes.
“Boothill? What- how- huh?” You were absolutely speechless, unable to register the man standing in front of you. He’s dressed a lot differently then how you last saw him- he looked so western. He was western before he was pronounced dead, the accent is what got you in the first place. He’d always go to bars and all of that.
But he never looked so… out of place.
You’ve never seen the boots he had on before. You’ve never seen those pants (why do they look so slutty?) and his shirt was a whole other thing.
But the thing that intrigued you the most was that he was still standing, alive in front of you, but with a fully metal body.
“Come in and explain yourself,” you sighed, turning around and leading him into the all-too-familiar place. It still smelled the same way it used to, flowers and vanilla. He sat down on the white couch, leaning back into the same fabric he knew all that time ago.
But the difference was, he couldn’t feel it.
“How are you here? There's no way you’re real,” you shake your head, standing up and leaning into his face. You grab his chin lightly, turning his head both way before running your hands through his still silky hair. “Answer my questions.”
“Alright, shoot em.”
“When did you get me pregnant?” You ask, still looking into his now different eyes.
“Four months ago. You should be 16 weeks now.”
You nodded. “When's my birthday…?”
“M,d,y.”
You nodded. He was on it, and it’s convincing you even more that he was your Boothill.
“Lastly, why are you metal?”
“My body was destroyed. Y’ probably remember it,” he looked down at his hands before bringing them up to your cheek. You slightly flinched from the chill before nodding for him to continue his story. “I don’t remember th’ exact details, but jus’ say it was a failed mission.”
You looked at him up and down before sitting beside him.
“D’you still… love me?” He mumbled, almost soft enough that you’d miss it if you weren’t paying attention.
You took a moment of silence before responding to his question. “Of course I do. You’re my husband, Boothill.”
To that he smiled and brought you into a strong kiss. One passionate and greedy- he’s been starved of you as you have of him for the past four months. Once he broke it off, you both connected your foreheads before going back into a full blown make out session.
Your pregnancy is incredibly taxing for the cyborg to handle. Instead of flesh and blood he has metal. He can’t feel you, and to him, it’s the worst feeling in the world. He truly wishes he could turn back time to right before the night of the accident.
He wishes he was able to return home safe, so he could be there for your whole pregnancy. He basically missed the entire first trimester!
At this point, you marked 32 weeks. Your pregnancy was very noticeable and Boothill took a lot of pride in being alongside you, shedding his insecurities as soon as he left the house.
He’s always been a very clingy man. He’s always wanted your touch and attention whenever he’d get home from whatever it was he’d do for work during the day, and he’d always receive it.
But now, he needs to use his head to feel you. He’s always found lying down on your stomach in his free time, so he can feel his child. He is unable to feel kicks with any other parts of his body, so he relies on that.
“‘Hill, I need to go to the bathroom. You might need to move in a second here-” you started, but he looked up at you and began to speak over you.
“Alright, alright… but’cha better come right back, please?”
You nodded before shuffling out of the bed, motioning for him to get up and help you off of the mattress and up on your feet. Once he easily pulls you up, he flops back down as he watches you close the door connected to your room.
He thought hard in those two minutes you were gone. Very hard. To the point he thought he was going to have a breakdown.
He regretted everything. He regretted engaging in the enemy's tricks. He regretted leaving you lonely for so long. And what he regrets most is returning to you like this.
A hunk of metal, who can be destroyed as many times as possible. He’ll always be able to have his body replaced. His head and hair were the only human thing about the man.
He believes you deserve so, so much better. You deserve a man who can live his life to the fullest and actually be able to be there for you during your vulnerable times, and not let grief get in the way. You deserve someone capable of giving you more children in the future, and he believes your baby deserves a dad who can be there for him and be normal.
He might even be worried about judgment. He’s not sure. He feels so emotional yet so dull at the same time.
“Boothill? Is everything alright? You’ve been staring at the same spot on the wall for the past minute,” you said from next to him. How did he not even realize your presence?
“Hah? Yea, I’m fine. How’re ya’ feeling?” He says in his usual tone, trying to swiftly play off his thoughts not even ten seconds ago. “How’s baby doin’ in there?”
You let out a soft giggle before placing your hand on his cold knee. “We’re well. I’m concerned about what just happened with you though. Tell me, what is on your mind?”
The man sighs and shakes his head before resting it back on your belly. “Nothin’ to worry your pretty head off about.” He simply left it at that and nothing more.
When it came time for labor, he was truly nervous. Every attempt he made at trying to make physical contact with you in that time failed, because his hands were either too hard or too cold. He backed off and watched from the sidelines as you brought his little baby girl into the world.
He so desperately wanted to hold her, and you could see the urge in his eyes. She looked so much like him. She had his gorgeous silky black and white hair with your eyes. He thought she was an angel brought from heaven.
Once he finally got to hold her, he was told to keep her swaddled in the blanket she was wrapped in. All was well until she started crying due to the cold of his arms, and the baby was taken off into tests before he could even blink.
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reminiscingtonight · 2 days
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A Chaotic Sort Of Love
Alessia Russo x Williamson!Reader
Word Count: 707
A/N: You can’t expect Taylor to drop an album and me to not write a crackfic about a song
[WOSO Masterlist]
“I have something to tell you.”
Leah’s deep in conversation with the other Lia when you interrupt. 
The locker room’s mostly empty by now, only a few of your teammates still hanging around. 
You’ve planned this entire thing out to the T. Even down to who’s still in the locker room. There’s not enough people around where news of what you have to share would spread like a wildfire, but there’s still enough where the necessary people would stop Leah if it all got out of hand. 
Alessia’s meekly standing beside you when your sister looks up. Lia simply shrugs when she’s given a questioning look. Despite the two of them being the best of friends, you still go to the older girl for advice quite often. But whatever this is about you haven’t told her a thing.
Leah gestures for you to continue. 
You swallow nervously. “Okay. Well. Less and I… we’re dating.”
And just like that, the air turns frosty.
“You and Alessia are what?” Leah’s eyes instantly narrow as she fixes her gaze upon the striker by your side. Despite towering over both you and Leah, Alessia wilts, her height doing nothing to dissuade Leah from taking a menacing step forward.
You shift yourself so that you’re between the two blondes. “Relax, Leah.”
“You want me to relax? Well I want you to not be corrupted by two-left feet, stumbling, doe-eyed… giants!”
Someone snorts from across the room at Leah’s floundering insult, and Leah’s quick to send her glare after its owner.
You roll your eyes. “I want you to relax because I’m actually pregnant. That’s what I wanted to tell you.”
Leah jerks her head back so suddenly you’re a bit worried about whiplash. Her eyes dart between you, Alessia, and then your stomach. She’s silent for a moment, mouth opening and closing as she looks for something to say. “You’re what?”
You shrug, letting out a loud sigh. 
Leah takes another tentative step forward. You can feel Alessia stiffen a bit more behind you. But this time Leah’s only focused on your stomach. 
“Are you really--”
“No!” You slap Leah’s hand away before it can make contact. “I’m into women Leah. This woman,” you gesture backwards towards Alessia. The blonde instantly drops her eyes, internally groaning at the way you continue to rile up your sister. “I’m not pregnant. But you should’ve really seen your face when I said I was.”
Leah reaches out again but this time you’ve already darted away towards the safety of the older Lia. 
The Swiss woman looks mildly amused, holding out a hand to stop your advancing sister. 
“But--”
“They’re young but your sister is her own person.”
“What if--”
“Own person,” Lia repeats, raising an eyebrow in challenge. 
It always amuses you to see how much your sister defers to Lia when the Swiss woman takes charge.
Leah’s nose flares in annoyance, but even you can see when she decides against challenging the other woman. “Fine. But just let me get this straight--”
“Nothing straight about this at all, Lee.”
“Dude,” comes an exasperated sigh from across the room. You look up to see Katie shaking her head at you, pinching the bridge of her nose in annoyance. 
You know you’re in for it when even Katie thinks you’ve gone too far. 
To your surprise, however, Leah simply takes a deep breath in. When she finally exhales, she seems less peeved. She shrugs, turning towards her locker to shove her clothes into her bag. “I’m sure you can be dating worse people. Less is nice enough.”
“That’s it? No lecture? No scaring Lessi away from me?”
“No. But I just-- hold on.” Leah grabs your arm, stopping you before you can dart away to your own locker. You meet her eyes head on, not really sure if she’s going to tear you another one or not. From the corner of your eye you can see Lia tensing again, but her next words have you all relaxing. 
“You’re not pregnant,” Leah asks, double checking just for her sanity.
“No--” Alessia pipes up from beside you, shaking her head. 
“Not yet,” you grin.
Leah curses when you duck under her outstretched hands. “Get back here you imp!”
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t3ag3rs · 3 days
Text
♡ younger! s/o x bakugou headcannons !
YALL DONT THINK OF THIS IN A P3DO SENSE, I MEAN IT IN A WHOLESOME WAY. PLS DONT ATTACK ME. fair warning: this is HEAVILY unedited...
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you first meet each other when your mom invites his family over for lunch due to her and his mom working together. (yes this is gonna be a moms friends son trope bc thats whats happening to me 😈).
you walk down to greet the family- completely expecting to see the ugliest boy youve seen in your life. only to find out hes a ua student, built, and ofc... super fucking hot...
bakugou just stares at you blankly as you walk up and say hello to his parents and him.
recognizing his mom, you give her a hug with a big smile as she does the same.
"y/n! meet my son katsuki! hes a year older than you, but you two should get along just fine!" introduces mitsuki happily.
all you manage is a nod in response as you meet his gaze again. "um... nice to meet you bakugou.." you say smiling slightly. "just call me katsuki..." he responds gruffly as he stuffs his hands further into his pockets.
"y/n.. why dont you take katsuki upstairs and let him play on my ps5?" says your dad jokingly as he nudges your shoulder. you roll your eyes with a grin before motioning him to follow you back upstairs.
as you turn on the ps5 you hand him the controller, "we only have cod right now..." you say apologetically. "so, i heard you go to ua right...?" you ask questioningly as you sit on the other side of the couch facing him.
"yeah im in the hero program" he responds focusing on the game playing in front of him. you nod you head thoughtfully at his response "what year are you in katsuki..?"
"im in my final year, what about you...?" he says finally glancing back at you with his carmine eyes. "uh... im in 3rd year" you say fumbling over your words slightly.
"damn your young.." he chuckles as he shakes his head slightly, "hey at least im not about to go to college.." you retort with a small smirk.
bakugou cant help but grin at your response, "you calling me old shorty?" he asks with a slight smirk.
you internally melt at the sight but remain composed, "hey, im just being realistic here.." you respond as you raise your hands up.
"realistic my ass.." he mutters quickly turning back to the game, "what ass are you talking about katsuki?" you ask with a laugh.
suddenly, you hear the sound of laughter and turn to see his head thrown back as he struggles to keep himself composed, "you- you should not being saying stuff like that shorty..." he says in between chuckles.
throughout the rest of the time you and bakugou start talking more and more, almost as if you two were old friends reconnecting. heck, even his parents were surprised to see him actually talking to you like a normal person.
just before they leave you stand by the door quickly responding to a friends message. "shorty.." he calls, making you look up to see him handing you his phone. "lets stay in touch so i can keep an eye on ur bratty ass.." bakugou gruffs blushing slightly.
you widen your eyes but quickly agree as you type in your number. "ill text you soon shortcakes.." he grins before ruffling your hair and walking out right beside his parents.
All you can do is stand there rooted in your spot with flushed cheeks, grinning like a delusional idiot
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Yoongi Fic Recommendations
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a - angst f - fluff s - smut
⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
Series
In the Margins (a s f) ⊹₊⋆ You weren’t sure what he would look like. His writing made you think of a cabin nestled among tall pines, a well-worn cardigan, a scotch neat, and a wistful wisp of smoke seeping into the air from the bowl of an unattended tobacco pipe. What stands before you now is a studio apartment in the city, cigarette butts, coffee stains, and a scowl. There’s definitely been a mistake.
Fix You (f a) ⊹₊⋆ When you take in a stray cat, you have no idea he’s secretly a hybrid trying to escape his past. Can you help him heal?
desolate (a f s) ⊹₊⋆ you just wanted a cute little normal cat to keep you company. so you're not really sure how you ended up with the grumpiest hybrid on earth that seems hellbent on making your life difficult.
One Shots
Set Me Free (a f) ⊹₊⋆ Tired of being told how to live his life and unsure of where he stands in the world, Yoongi--your soulmate--yearns to be free. When you give him what he wants, it causes a rift in your relationship that seems irreparable. 12 years later, you find him back in your life. Can you mend your relationship? Do you even want to?
back-burner (a f s) ⊹₊⋆ sometimes you felt like you were the back-burner of a two-decade-long friendship. how could you ever compete?
Love Language (a s f) ⊹₊⋆ Your boyfriend obviously loves you, but his silence has you questioning if he *wants* you. If you could only get past your damn insecurities maybe you could appreciate what you have.
27 Phone Numbers (f) ⊹₊⋆ Yoongi has gone through twenty-seven phone numbers over the last ten years, and you haven’t changed yours since high school. 
sweetner (f s) ⊹₊⋆ You used to know how he sounded when you were wrapped around him, but circumstances have pulled you apart and sent you scattering in opposite directions. Feelings shouldn't reappear so easily by simple words, but when you find yourselves in the same place once again, this is exactly what happens.
One Chance (f) ⊹₊⋆ A musical genius, a guy with a bad reputation, your assigned partner for your final project. And the last thing you ever would have expected.
Seasons Change (a s) ⊹₊⋆ Min Yoongi and you, through the seasons, break up and come back together. Nobody said love was easy.
All That Holly, Jolly Sh*t (a f s) ⊹₊⋆ You haven’t seen or heard from Yoongi since he broke your heart five years ago, laying out a logical list of reasons why you were better off breaking up. When a Christmas Eve blizzard traps you together for the night, you have no choice but to examine how few of those reasons are still true. And if they’re not… where does that leave you?
Now We Reign (a s f) ⊹₊⋆ when working on a collab together makes you and Min Yoongi seek comfort with the other, you discover there’s more to life than loneliness. Only, hurdles mark your path in Min Yoongi’s life, and it’s unclear what the outcome will be. Will you be destroyed by him and his world, or will you learn to reign over it, together with him?
take five (a f) ⊹₊⋆ you're min yoongi's nurse and you have a crush on him, and he gives you five chances to ask him out - he never said anything about accepting though.
The Final - Day 02 (s) ⊹₊⋆ You've been Yoongi's go-to companion for the past few years, well aware that's all you were going to be. Despite your very real, growing feelings for the rapper, you took what you could get every time. Now, you're backstage at day two of the final leg of his tour when another member takes an interest in you. Will it be enough to make Yoongi realize he's got competition?
hello soulmate (f) ⊹₊⋆ your first day on the job doesn't turn out the exact way you envisioned
Sugar Rush Ride (s) ⊹₊⋆ You produced a song based on your hidden desires for your fellow producer and promised yourself that tonight, things would change. You were done pining after him, but then he arrived at the listening party.
fuck being friends (a f s) ⊹₊�� as if watching the guy you were hopelessly in love with hook up with another girl each weekend wasn’t enough, he also happened to be your best friend, making things extra complicated. and it only gets worse and worse once he finds you crying in the bathroom at a party one night.
Take One (s f) ⊹₊⋆ There are three things which Yoongi was certain of. One, he was a big star in his field of work. Two, he had a huge cock, one to rival many of the largest names in his industry. Three, he can only find pleasure these days in written word. 
Illicit Favors (f s) ⊹₊⋆ When your editor tells you to re-write the chapters of your book because the sex scenes are weak, suggesting you write them from experience, what do you do when you lack any kind of sexual experiences in general? You go to your friend and ask him for help with it.
Bet On It (s) ⊹₊⋆ What's a little wager between enemies? How about if it's your body on the line?
subscribed (s f) ⊹₊⋆ you find out that youtube isn’t the only site he uses to satisfy his subscribers. what do you do with that information?
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hazelfoureyes · 2 days
Note
Hi sorry if this is a weird ask but my birthday is the 24th and I would love it if I could wake up that morning to both Lucifer and Alastor absolutely ravishing reader. Just pure smut and aftercare please
I did fem reader I hope that’s okay, it’s who I write the most so I thought maybe you just wanted what I commonly wrote. sorry it’s a little late, and also shhh it’s a secret because I can’t write birthday stories for everyone due to time. But you were the first to ask and you asked so far in advance so—
Surprise!
「warnings/promises: Alastor x FemReader x Lucifer, smut, barely a plot, tug of war, you are the rope, slight kink with breath play and restraint, attempt at aftercare, lost balloons, mention of dead deer (roadkill)」
🎂 Minors please no 🎉 🎈 this an an 18+ only party 🥂
You weren’t sure what you were expecting when the typically reserved Alastor now (seemingly) tipsy invited you to his room. He was always touchy, but the more he drink the longer his hands would stay on you. So naturally you said nothing at all and followed him out of the parlor.
And you had no idea what to think when the King of Hell saw you being pulled by the wrist and stopped you both.
There was some bickering about where you were going and what Alastor thought he was doing. The overlord making a joke about height and size. The former angel mentioning experience. 
Soon both wrists were being held but by different demons.
Ripping you apart seemed like a possibility, but somehow you ended up in an even more difficult situation to accept than second death.
Both refusing to go to the other’s room you were dragged to your own. 
Arguing around you, you were moved and turned before Lucifer snapped his fingers and your clothes fell off you at the seams. You turned to see both men nude and slowly leading you to bed. No complaints, you enjoyed just following their directions.
You couldn’t be sure how they came to their final agreement but soon you were lying on top of Alastor, impressive cock rubbing against your clit and a large portion of your lower stomach as Lucifer was fucking you from behind. The way he angled did feel practiced, so the king of lies wasn’t bluffing earlier.
Alastor's body was so warm under yours, the leaking of his precum spreading across your skin with every thrust from Luci’s hips. Your swollen clit and wet lips were sliding up and down Alastor’s base, stroking him harshly as you had no power over the movement.
“Good girl,” Lucifer’s hands roamed down your body, “Let me hear your voice.”
You could barely speak, the feeling of Luci’s large cockhead dragging along your walls was keeping your mouth busy with moans.
Another surprise, Alastor’s arms coming up and wrapping around you tightly. Any space between you was gone. With your body immobilized except for where your hips moved as you were pierced by Lucifer, Alastor began to hump up against you for the chase of release. The faster he moved, the louder and more uncontrolled your noises became.
“Stop being selfish, roadkill.” A yank of your hips pulling you a little too harshly down on Lucifer, ass flush with his crotch. A small scream into the radio demon’s chest.
“Now those are pretty sounds.” Alastor said through gritted teeth, ignoring the devil entirely.
Another tug of war, but not with your wrists. One man’s hands on your waist holding you still so he could rut into your soft flesh. The other man’s hands on your hips so he could bring to meet every thrust into your now dripping cunt. 
“Ffuuuck,” Luci clamored on top of you, hips pistoning down like an animal with a singular unmet need. “Gonna cum.”
Why did he feel the need to tell you? You could feel him already pulsing as he pressed against your cervix. Yet the words alone sent a shot of electricity to your lap.
As Lucifer’s hips slowed, Alastor took the opportunity to regain control. It wasn’t clear if he knew how good it felt when he rubbed against you. You clenched around the still stiff and twitching cock buried in you and focused on the increasingly wet slip of Alastor’s shaft over your swollen clit. The pressure of Lucifer’s body weight pressing you down added a new level of arousal you hadn’t felt before, the feeling of being held down, of your breath being restricted just in the slightest. Quickly you found yourself reaching a breaking point, a small mountain you barely made it to the crest of before Alastor came across your stomach and his own, your chest not escaping the impressive shot. The small movements of his hips afterwards and the feeling of him cumming so much pushed you over the cliff and into your own orgasm. 
Lucifer hissed above you, “Woah, that’s— you’re gonna make me cum again if you keep squeezing like that.” With a pat to your ass he pulled out and dismounted. Your shakey arms you lifted yourself off of Alastor, who was already holding a towel and wiping his chest clean. He was muttering to himself about something, his face screwed up at the sight. When you fell face down back onto the bed Lucifer crawled over Alastor to sit just below the swell of your ass, hands rubbing up and down your back. A groan, a mix of pleasured massage and painful bullying of sore muscles.
He was shoved off of you, Alastor rolling you over gingerly to wipe at your stomach and attempt to get your blanket clean as well.
“Definitely worth the brief nudity, dear.” His usual smile soft, you were confident it was a compliment.
Lucifer popped up again, a jack in the box of human proportions, “You’re an ass.” He reached for you hand and rubbed circles into your palms as he spread out the often used muscles there. “Feeling okay?” You nodded, a chill coming over you.
Alastor’s turn now, a green glow and a snap and you found yourself clothed again. Not your clothes, but you didn’t particularly care. Alastor was back to his usual attire, but for some reason Lucifer remained stark naked except his large hat. Had it been there the entire time?
Before you could find the will to ask, the doors burst open with a loud blaring honk of an air horn, “SURPRISE!” The hotel staff and star resident cheered, “HAPPY BIR-,”
“What in the actual the fuck.” Angel pointed at the obvious.
“Dad!”
“Nah I’m out.” Husk let the balloons float to the ceiling and left.
Vaggie pinched the bridge of her nose, eyes clenched with not-at-all hidden aggravation, “What the fuck, you were supposed to trick her into going to the library Alastor! We were waiting for like 30 minutes! Pendejo.” 
Alastor shrugged, “Eh I had a better idea.”
A loud noise above you, a kazoo having appeared in Lucifer’s mouth. His hands shot up with an exhausted excitement, “Happy Birthday!”
why do I love writing reader being walked in on??
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luveline · 2 days
Note
Missing my zombie!steve husband 🫶🏻
quiet day at the camp… hope something bad isn’t brewing… zombie apocalypse au <3 fem, 2k
Steve loves the sound of the river, but he only allows himself a moment to lay down on the riverbank during laundry hours. 
You stand knee deep in the water with your pants and sleeves rolled up, the corrugated metal of an old shed roof that’s been repurposed into a washing board held to your chest. It was pointless to roll your sleeves up, you’re soaked to the bone, even your hair, but the summer sun keeps you warm. 
“Don’t get too hot!” you call. 
“I’m fine,” he says, unwilling to shout. 
“He’s fine!” Robin shouts from beside him. “Numbskull.” 
Steve stares at you, locking you in, so to speak, the nice shape of your hip and stomach, the mess of your wet hair. Tonight, he’ll help you fix it, but there’s no rush and no hurry to dry off while the sun is out, and the fences are up. He turns onto his stomach. Grass tickles his cheeks. 
“You sure you’re okay?” Robin asks quietly. 
“Fine. Can you tell me if she needs help?” 
“Sure.” He listens to the sounds of her moving, likely pulling the slim lengths of her legs against her chest to hug herself, the tan leaves of a book spread out just in front of her. 
Steve could really go for a cigarette. You swapped the last box you found for toothpaste, isn’t that how it always goes? You and Robin found a cheat code in the apocalypse, nicotine with a capital ‘N’. You swap Arctic chewable for socks without holes and boxes of Marlboro’s for the bathroom essentials. Everybody wants them, and you’re great at finding them. Steve never thought he’d crave a cigarette again considering he wasn’t addicted, having smoked for a couple of months in high school to feel cool with his friends, stopping when his mom asked him to. He doesn’t remember why. She’d asked, and he’d listened, as he used to do. Swim team, cross country, basketball, lifeguard training, mowing the lawn, not upsetting his father, taking out the trash, vacuuming, no drinking and driving; task after task after task. Some of it was easy. He liked doing the dishes, and he loved taking care of his mom even if she didn’t feel the same. 
Not that it matters now. Does it matter now? He’s never gonna see her again. She’s a memory. She’s a bad memory, most of the time. 
The more he reflects on it, he decides. She was a bit shitty, but she’s his mom, and she’s likely gone, so he’ll try to remember the cookies they made together and the way she’d smile at him after she tied his shoelaces before school. And also the mean fucking bitch she’d turn into when she drank two glasses of wine. 
“What are you thinking about?” Robin asks.
“That’s the wrong soap,” you say from the river. Your voice floats over the breeze. 
“Fuck off, soap is soap,” Eddie says, your not-so-new friend, Steve’s sworn enemy. 
“I’m just saying,” you laugh. “Look, I’ll wash, you rinse.” 
“I’m thinking about that time,” Steve begins, holding his hand out toward her, open but not expectant, “when my mom and dad came home early from his business trip in Missouri and found us sleeping together.” 
“I’d never heard your dad laugh before,” Robin says. 
“My mom really didn’t like you after that.” He smiles as she takes his hand. They were a lot more touchy, pre-apocalypse. He misses that sometimes. 
“I don’t even think she thought we were dating.” 
“She was disgusted.” 
“She said we were being weird teenagers.”
“I guess we were. I never had a friend like you before so maybe I can’t blame her,” he says. He has something special with you, you’re a best friend because you’re half of his heart, but Robin was his first proper best friend, and remains it. “I missed you a lot when we were stuck in Indiana. There were a ton of times where shit would go wrong and I would get mad at you because I knew you’d know how to fix it, but you weren’t there.” 
“You’d get mad at me?” Robin asks, squeezing his hand. “You jerk. Be mad at yourself.” 
“Can you wait for me next time?” he asks.
Robin’s quiet, then she laughs, “I’m nodding but you can’t see.” 
He wonders how she’s feeling. He admits to not doing that much in the past. Not that he didn’t think about how he made others feel, he was always worrying about that after Nancy, but he can’t say he thought of it in the moment. Steve forces himself to sit up and offer his arms for a hug, which Robin gladly accepts, her frazzled laugh on his neck as he pats her back. 
“Are you okay?” she asks. 
“You know Y/N says I’m possessive?” 
Robin leans away, fingers curled around his elbow. “You’re fighting?” 
“No, just. She says I’m possessive, that I get mad about, you know, my people.” 
“Right. Isn’t everybody?” 
“I never thought I did. I’m not, like, too proud most of the time.” 
“Steve, this is super introspective,” she says, frowning, smiling, a weird expression somewhere melding in the middle of happy and concerned. “Are you sure you’re okay? It’s fine if you’re not.” She laughs shrilly. “I woke up the other day and cried and then ten minutes later I felt fine. I’m far from okay.” 
Steve glances past Robin’s head to watch you in the river. You’re sitting down amongst the stones. It really isn’t too deep, water to your ribcage washing suds down to Munson, who’s smiling at you kindly, not smarmy or flirting, just smiling. 
“Why did you cry?” he asks quietly. 
“I missed my cousin, I think.” 
Steve curls his arm behind her head and encourages her in for a fiercer hug. 
“Think we should probably go help them,” she mumbles. 
He takes it for the brush off that it is; sincerity is too much to take, sometimes. If she wants to be evasive about it that’s okay, she already took the leap and admitted to getting upset. 
“I cried thinking about Y/N’s hands the other day,” he says. 
“Steve.” Robin rubs her eye with the heel of her hand. “I don’t even know what to tell you.” 
“What? I’m trying to show you I’m pathetic so you don’t feel bad.” 
“I know you’re pathetic, and I don’t feel bad.” She climbs off of the ground and brushes broken grass off of her legs. Steve climbs up next to her, nudging her with his elbow. “You’re mucho pathetic. It’s kind of crazy.” 
“I think I might try and drown him,” he says conversationally. 
“Why now?” 
“Why do you think?” Steve asks, toeing off his shoes and peeling off his socks, nearly pitching forward on the wet bank closer to the river.
You and Eddie look up as they approach from different spots of the water. Your smile at seeing him winds him for the thousandth time, just so happy to see him, so in love with you he doesn’t even know what to do for a few seconds. “Hey, honey,” he says, “can I help?” 
“Now you wanna help?” you ask, gesturing to your soaked front. 
You’re messing with him, and he doesn’t care anyways, you can talk to him like crap if you want to. He shuffles down from the mud of the riverbank and into the water, cold and wet like a shock against his ankles, softer as it climbs to his knees. You’re sitting where it’s more shallow, opposed to Eddie on his knees and almost drowning further down. He puts his hand on your wet shoulder and kneels down in the water beside you. “Wanna hug?” you tease. 
Steve hugs you. Doesn’t care that you’re soaking or that the water is freezing against his crown jewels, though he shivers by your ear, prompting your laugh like bubbles in his own. “It’s cold,” he says. 
“Freezing!” 
Not to be a freak, but he can feel your chest pressed to him, and he knows you get achy in the cold. He wraps his arms doubly behind your back and rubs at your sides. “How much laundry’s left?” he asks. “We’re gonna get hypothermia. Again.” 
“You didn’t get hypothermia,” you remind him, folding into his space. “Steve… is everything okay?” 
“Do I look mopey today? Robin just asked me the same thing.” 
“You don’t look mopey, but you’re being touchy. You’re cuddling.” 
“How am I not supposed to cuddle you, dummy? I’m keeping you warm enough to function right now. Without me you’d be an ice cube floating down the river.” He leans back to hold your face in one hand, your cheek under his thumb, water racing down his wrists and your neck. 
You push against his hand gently with your cheek. 
“Sorry,” he says. 
“What for?” 
For lots of things. “I didn’t realise how cold the water was. I would’ve come to help you.” 
“It’s fine. I scrub everything and then Eddie catches it. We’ve only lost one pair of underwear,” you say. “The river’s like a long washing machine.” 
“How much do you have left?” he asks. 
“Nothing. I was just about to get out.” 
“Couldn’t have told me that before I came to get you?” 
“No,” you say, lifting your chin. Not challenging, but close. It’s an offer, Steve decides, kiss me or don’t kiss me. You don’t seem to realise he doesn’t decide, he needs you. If you always wanted to kiss him, you’d always be kissing, all the time, everywhere. 
Steve gives you a quick peck. “Come on, let’s go set up the line.” 
You somehow, together, make your way back to the tents without freezing to death after throwing your clothes on a drying line between trees. It’s warm enough that stripping down to your skivvies is mildly pleasant (away from the eyes of the other campers). You get dressed in the softest clothes you own upon Steve’s insistence, sweatpants and a dark hoodie, three pairs of socks and the tent door left open, before he lays you down on the sleeping bag, and settles between your legs, his full weight bearing down on you, his face nestled in the damp crook of your neck. 
“I couldn’t kiss you the right way,” he confesses. 
“Why?” You pull mildly at the ends of his hair. 
“‘Cos I always want more than one kiss.” 
“That’s a strangely romantic way to say you wanted to make out with me,” you whisper. 
“It’s not like that,” he insists, even though he does want to, and he did in the river, and he does all the time.
“You’re getting kinda heavy, Steve,” you mumble. 
“What?” 
“It’s a good thing.” 
“How dare you.” 
“We got sorta frail for a bit.” You wrap an arm around his head, tip of your nose to his forehead. 
“Yeah. Lucky we’re in camp Eddie now,” Steve says. 
“I never thought I’d hear you say that,” you murmur, so close to sleeping Steve can tell. You just need a feeling of security to nudge you over the edge. 
“Lucky we’re together.” He climbs off of you slowly so as not to rouse you too much, kissing your slack cheek as he settles on your shoulder. “You and me. I don’t care where we are.”
He ends up falling asleep not long after you, lulled by the rhythm of your light snore. 
321 notes · View notes
loveinhawkins · 9 hours
Text
When Steve gets to his last year at Hawkins High, it feels like some kind of veil has been lifted right in front him. Or maybe it’s more that the veil’s actually been slowly lifting for years, and he’s noticing it all the more because it’s no longer there.
Either way, when he receives his yearbook, it doesn’t seem like the huge deal that his younger self would’ve made it out to be; he flicks through the pictures half-heartedly, doesn’t even care when the candid ones taken at sporting events catch him in unflattering poses, lip jutting out in concentration.
If he tried to voice his disinterest, Henderson would probably spout off some precocious shit about societal expectations, and Steve would pretend to nod sagely before stealing whatever dorky hat he happened to be wearing—it’s not like he could let the little shit suspect that he occasionally had a point, Steve would never hear the end of it.
The yearbook signings are predictably inescapable: people passing their books back and forth in class or in the cafeteria—and that one’s a risky move, with the threat of drinks spilling on the pages, whether accidental or malicious.
Steve thinks the fever’s dwindled out until he spends a free period in the school library. The seniors typically all bunch together in one of the far corners, the spots with the comfiest seats—loners included, like the perks of age for once outweigh the usual ridicule.
But that silent truce is not exactly being upheld, Steve notes—Eddie Munson is sitting alone at a nearby table.
It becomes painfully obvious when the signing starts up again. There’s a cluster of girls on the yearbook committee who initiate it, and soon every senior in reach is either passing over their own book or signing one.
Almost every senior.
It’s not like Eddie’s the only person ever to be held back. He’s not even the only one to be held back for next year, either: John Nelson off the swim team is in the same position, and he’s still been asked to sign.
But Steve knows that’s not what the source of exclusion is, not really.
He’s gotten good at spotting silent cruelty—good at avoiding it too, before his popularity gave him a temporary shield.
It’s all just bullshit, he thinks. It’s been a recurring thought lately.
He brings out his own yearbook because he knows it’s expected. When it’s finally passed back round to him, he ends up right near the seat opposite Eddie’s, just by chance.
But actually sitting there is his own choice.
He can tell that Eddie has spotted him even though he’s not looked up from whatever homework he’s doing; there’s a silent tension in the way he’s holding his pen.
Steve mulls it over before he asks the question. It could blow up in his face, but what did that matter, really? In the grand scheme of things, it would hardly count as a major embarrassment; it’s not like it’d be any more mortifying than telling his dad that he didn’t get into any colleges whatsoever.
So he pushes his yearbook across the table, because what the hell.
“Wanna sign?”
Eddie glances up. There’s a guarded look in his eyes, and Steve can almost hear him mentally replaying the question.
“Pardon?” Eddie says with pointed emphasis, like he’s daring Steve, let it drop and we’ll say no more about it, Harrington.
Steve doesn’t take it back. He shrugs and flicks open the yearbook, finds a blank spot and taps it once with his finger, a silent offer.
Eddie stares like Steve’s a riddle, like he’s wondering just who the show’s for—but the other students have turned away, have gone back to their seats, yearbooks temporarily forgotten.
Eddie’s hold on his pen relaxes, ever so slightly.
“You sure, Harrington?” he says. There’s still a wary edge to his voice, but there’s an undercurrent of something else, too, like he’s secretly amused despite himself. “Haven’t you heard what folks say? I could curse you.”
Steve scoffs. “That all you’ve got? I’ve dealt with way worse, man,” he says mildly.
A corner of Eddie’s mouth twitches into a surprised smile. Then it’s gone almost like it had never been in the first place, his gaze turning thoughtful rather than defensive.
And obviously this isn’t Eddie’s first rodeo at the whole senior year thing. Steve wonders if there’s a veil that’s been lifted for him too, wonders if he can see straight through it right now.
The bell rings.
Eddie stands up, gathering his stuff.
Steve thinks that’s the end of it: something that’s neither a success or a failure.
But then, lightning fast, Eddie darts across the table and scribbles something on the open page. Slams the yearbook shut and pushes it back over, and it feels like a challenge, like some of his caginess is back—like he’s just daring Steve to reveal that it had been a joke all along—
“Bet you’re counting down the days till you can hold your own copy, huh?” Steve says dryly, as he stuffs the book into his bag.
It’s a risk; he knows Eddie could easily take it as pure ridicule, could misinterpret it as Steve throwing the failed school years back in his face.
Eddie just shakes his head, but he could be laughing—the moment’s gone too quickly for Steve to know for sure.
“Nah, Harrington,” Eddie says easily, thrown over his shoulder as he leaves, “those things aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on.”
Steve doesn’t check the yearbook until he’s home. He eventually finds Eddie’s signature, simple black ink right in the upper corner of one page.
Good luck, Steve. —Eddie
Some of the letters are bunched a little too close together, drifting upwards on the blank page, as if they usually need lined paper to guide them—left-handed, Steve thinks vaguely.
Within a sea of scrawled nicknames and loudly enthusiastic messages, Steve finds that he kind of likes how mundane Eddie’s truly is. Likes the sign off with minimal fuss. Just “Eddie.” Likes how he was just “Steve”, too.
And yeah, if anyone needed to be told good luck, Steve thinks, with the kind of amusement that only comes from distance—pictures his past self, freaking out about monsters come to life.
He slots the yearbook into his bookcase. By summer he might forget about it all together, left to gather dust as he works for 3 bucks an hour, but for now he marks its significance: something real, hidden alongside the bullshit.
378 notes · View notes
railingsofsorrow · 1 day
Text
don't walk out
[spencer reid x reader]
summary: “we can fight and we can be mad but we can't leave.”  pairing: s.reid x gn!reader  w.c: 1K warnings/content: implied abandoned issues; argument; silent treatment (brief); language; angst.  A/N: guess I'm on a roll today. I just love some angst. 
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“is that supposed to make me feel better?”  
lights had barely been turned on when you spat out a response, breaking the tense silence. your apartment was tidy, nothing out of order, even the pillows where settled two on each edge of the couch like you always did before leaving for work.  
it was the expected. three days away on a case didn't exactly mean your house would turn upside down, would it? unanimated things didn't move on their own. but one thing that was turning upside down was your mood. not only did the journey home came with lots of turbulence, but Spencer had to make an unpleasant comment that made your blood boil. was it wrong that you just wanted to not look at him right now? you were even considering not sleeping beside him tonight. 
“for fucks sake.” you mumbled under your breath when he had stayed silent. he's ignoring you now. great. throwing your work bag on the couch, you didn't even take your shoes off as you moved back toward the door. you can't handle his passive aggressive act and you certainly won't handle his silence treatment.  
“where are you going?” he called out, shuffling out of the bedroom upon hearing the sound of keys dangling. no. no, you're not leaving, are you? “what—” 
“i'm gonna take a walk, spencer.” 
it didn't take a second for him to rush over and stop your exit by blocking the door. “what are the car keys for then?” desperation clouded his tone and you felt guilt building up in your chest, but it wasn't bigger than your frustration.  
“I'm gonna drive.” 
“at this time of the night? you hate driving at night.” 
“are you my father?” he almost flinched at your sharp tone. okay, he deserved that hostility. he's been nothing but rude to you the entire jet ride back home. it's not that you did anything — even if you had done something, it does not justify the way he was treating you —, the case had been hard. it involved kids. the team wasn't fast enough. he wasn't fast enough. you almost got hurt. it was a lot to absorb in a short amount of time.  
he never wanted this: you walking out while you were mad at each other. no. you had made a deal long ago. you both were laughing after your first stupid argument, something about forgetting to fold the laundry.  
“okay, but we can be like this, right?” you said, nudging him. “we can fight and we can be mad but we can't leave.” 
his eyes soften and he almost turns to mush. he understood then that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. and yes. you would be mad and you would upset each other but leaving was off the table. he could do that. there was nothing he'd want more. 
but now he'd cross a line. didn't he? how dare he do that? how dare he cause you do want to walk out? 
“i'm sorry.” spencer is still at the doorway when you ask him to move. he won't move. he can't. “i really am. I shouldn't have said that. it was out of line.” 
“really?” you snap. he hears the edge in your voice and the crack. it breaks him. he just wants to hold you, he never meant—means to hurt you. “then why did you? why would you even think about something like that?”  
he holds back his breath of relief once you've put the keys back in the bowl. the lump in his throat diminishing slightly. 
“i was upset. angry— at the case. the whole situation, not you.“ he clarified. “sweetheart, i'm sorry. I didn't mean it.” you're searching his face for some indication of lie that you won't find. “i'm sorry.” 
“you're an idiot.” your anger is gone, there's just frustration now. maybe at yourself, because you can't really stay mad at him as he stares at you with those eyes.  
“i am,” he admits, no ounce of hesitation in his tone. he's fairly certain he is, in fact, an idiot. “i'm sorry.” he repeats and he will repeat over and over again until you forgive him. he will beg if he has to. “don't leave, please.” 
and that is not fair. it's not. he can't make you mad and say sorry and all will be forgiven. he can't look at you with those eyes and think things will be magically fixed. 
but then your armor cracks. suddenly, his behaviour makes sense. 
we can fight and we can be mad but we can't leave. 
“i wasn't going to—” you're ashamed at this point. you were so blinded by anger that you'd do something you promised to never do. “you know I wouldn't leave, right?” then his desperation in reaching the door before you makes sense and you're taken back to the moment you promised not to walk out in a fight. that's exactly what you where about to do.  
“i'm sorry.” you say, staring at the keys in your hands. “i didn't think before acting.”  
spencer nods slowly, taking a step closer towarss your frame. “and I didn't think before speaking. I'm the one that should be sorry.” 
you caught a glimpse at his twitchy fingers and takes one of his hands into your own, letting the keys slip to the floor as you yank him to your arms. he only complies by squeezing you against him. and finally, both of you have what you've been craving since this case started: each other's comfort.  
and then, you repeat. “i wasn't going to leave, you know that, right?”  
“yeah.” he burries his face into your neck and his voice is muffled by your skin. “yeah, I know.” 
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taglist: @lilyviolets ; @whore-for-spencer-reid ; @yeonalie @ninkieminjaj ; 
359 notes · View notes
yeonzzzn · 13 hours
Text
devilish: sjyn + lhs
epilogue of chilling & killing 🔪 | spotify playlist
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pairing: jake x afab!reader + heeseung word count: 2.3k
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synopsis: you go visit heeseung in jail for one final interview about the ghost face cases…learning more than you expected.
genre: ghostface!heeseung, ghostface!jake, journalist!reader
warnings: swearing, mentions of blood, m*rder & sexual themes, heeseung and jake are insane (as always <3) I think that’s it!
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Heeseung chuckled when he saw you sitting on the other side of the glass, his heart smile reaching from ear to ear. 
He sat down in front of you, tilting his head, “Awe, what did I do to deserve a special visit from you?” his voice echoed through the small holes in the glass, his voice a tiny bit muffled. 
You cross one of your legs over the other and stretch your arms out, hands resting on your knee, “I came to ask questions.” 
He chuckled again, “There’s the journalist YN we all know and love.”
“You don’t even know me.” 
Heeseung smiled, tucking his bottom lip between his teeth then releasing it, eyeing you up and down, “How’s Jay going?” he asked, tilting his head in the other direction, “You know, after you stabbed him three times.” 
You tried to not react, not to give him what he wanted: to see you break. “Jay is fine,” you said calmly, “He was released from the hospital yesterday.” 
Heeseung nodded, “Didn’t think you had it in you to be so feisty.” 
You still didn't react. But you had to agree with him, you didn’t think you’d have it in you either to attempt to kill someone until seeing the way Jay was hovered over Jake with Jake’s blood spilling on the floor. 
“So,” Heeseung said, sliding his cuffed hands onto the table, index finger touching the glass, “How did…” he glanced up to the ceiling, then back down at you, “how did Jake figure me out?” 
You leaned forward, resting your elbows on the table, “It wasn’t hard, Heeseung. Not after piecing everything together.” 
“Oh?” his eyebrows raised, “Tell me more!” 
“You slipped up,” you lean back in the chair, “First, you let me see your watch when you attacked me.” 
Heeseung shrugged, “That wasn’t something I was planning on, it didn't cross my mind. Sunoo had my longer gloves at that time and once I saw you leave your apartment, I had to ask fast.” 
You continued, “Second, after you attacked me, when we were discussing the murders, you specifically said, “we’ll catch him,” that narrowed it down to males specifically. So we had the watch, and what you said.” 
Heeseung stared at you, “Jake figured me out just by those two things?” 
You raised a brow, “I wasn’t finished. Besides, he is…you know. He knows how it all works, I suppose.” 
Heeseung had to give you that one, Jake was one smart motherfucker. 
“Jake went over all the cases again, looking at every piece of information given until he found the missing puzzle piece.” 
“He always was a good detective,” Heeseung leaned back in the chair, lowering his head at you, “Still will make a damn good one.” 
“Jake wasn’t one hundred percent sure it was even you,” you sighed, “But the more he thought about it, the more sure he became. Jake went into the film office, finding nothing that said it would even be pinned to Jay or Jungwon. Then he searched the investigation office, used his brain, and found Sunoo’s ghost face attire. That was another strike in your box, that you had help. The last bit of confirmation was how Jay attacked us. It wasn’t the same movements as when you attacked me. Plus anytime you talked to Jake as ghost face, you said his full name. Jay slipped up and called him Sim.”
Heeseung locked his jaw, anger raising through him at how he could have gotten away with everything if fucking Jay didn’t fuck that one up. 
You saw his gears turning and you smiled, “The only last bit was to draw you in and confess.” 
Heeseung evilly smiled, “Your boyfriend used you as bait to catch me,” he laughed, “he was so confident that he risked your life, all to catch me?” 
You looked to the floor. It wasn’t a risk Jake wanted to take but one he felt that needed to be done. Jake researched everything about Heeseung and took notice of every little thing he did towards you, it was obvious Heeseung had feelings. Jake knew Heeseung wouldn’t fall for a meeting if Jake was the one to call it, it had to come from you no matter how much he hated it. 
“Why did you do it?” you asked him once more, “Why drag Sunoo in on this? How many people did he kill?” 
Heeseung smirked, “I assume you already tried speaking to him and he gave you nothing.” 
You didn’t have to acknowledge it, you knew Heeseung already knew you spoke to Sunoo. All Sunoo did was stare and smile at you and occasionally giggle, “I want to know about the past department head too.” 
Heeseung sighed, leaning forward again, “I’ve always been obsessed with killers and how their brains worked. All the crimes they commit and how they do them. Watching plenty of documentaries growing up and different types of crime TV shows, it always made sense to me to become a forensics investigator,” he shrugged, “You probably could assume how excited I was when the ghost face killings started happening,” Heeseung chuckled at the memory of the first body that popped up on the news, “It was all exciting. Like a serial killer was on my campus. It was crazy. I rushed to the first murder scene.” 
He made eye contact with you, “Then there was you,” you swallowed, waiting for him to continue, “It was love at first sight. Seeing how you wrote in that little journal of yours, taking pictures and investigating. I knew I was in love.” 
“You don’t know me…” 
“Oh, but I do,” he bit his lip, “I followed you around everywhere. I looked up every piece of information possible and learned everything. I know how you like your coffee and you’ve never drank coffee near me.” 
The hair on your arms raised. Heeseung stalked you for so long and you never knew. 
“I spent so long trying to figure out how to approach you, to make you mine while at the same time, my obsession with ghost face grew. And then Jake joined your team,” Heeseung’s eyes grew with hatred, “I hated him the moment I saw how he looked at you. He looked at you like you were the ones who aligned the planets and slapped the stars in the sky.” 
You already knew Jake was interested in you since way before he even joined your team, he’s admitted that much to you. But hearing Heeseung say it made your heart race. Like it was fated that Jake would always be your endgame. 
“So I started following him around,” Heeseung confessed, “It didn’t take long for me to figure out…his secret.” Because of course it didn’t, “You should have seen how angry I was. Knowing the man I loathed because he had feelings for my girl was also the same man I obsessed with and looked up to? The mixed emotions were crazy.” 
You stared at him, “I can imagine, and I’m not your girl.” 
Heeseung frowned, “My admiration for him outweighed my feelings for you,” he looked away from you, “At least, at first. Not until I followed him off to your apartment, seeing how you figured out his secret and still let him fuck you on your kitchen floor.” 
“Jealousy is an ugly thing, Heeseung,” you whispered.
“Not so ugly when you felt him fuck you in public all because Jay was hitting on you.” 
You roll your eyes, “Continue your story.” 
Heeseung laughed, “Eager are we?” you narrow your eyes at him, “I stalked him enough to learn his patterns and the types of victims he goes for. The brand of knives he uses, even the cloak, and where he got his mask. I studied everything, all just to take him down, steal his title and his girl.” 
Maybe Heeseung was crazier than Jake. 
“But I had to get close, needed a reason to get close. So I committed a few murders and dumped my mask as a middle finger to him knowing it would piss him off. I learned how to bug devices, and was listening in when the news was on. It was the perfect time to introduce myself, then go commit more murders,” He shrugged again, “I needed to get close to you and your team. So I pitched to the dean about us joining together, but he told me to ask the department head. And as you know, she was murdered.” 
“I’m going to assume she turned you down, saying to stay out of it?” 
“You’re the department head for the journalism club for a reason,” he smiled, “She told me no. So I dressed up as ghost face and murdered her right outside her dorm room,” he sighed, “That’s when Sunoo comes in.” 
You laughed, “He caught you, didn’t he?” 
Heeseung nodded, “He watched me slit her throat and started acting like a fanboy, begging me to let him join me. He’s a major ghost face enthusiast.” 
It made sense. 
“Sunoo even knew I was a copycat,” Heeseung snickered, “He did his research just as much as I did. The only thing is he didn’t know who the original was until I told him. Then we started plotting together.” 
“And you had him do your side work.” 
“You’re on a roll today!” he clapped his hands together, “and to finally answer your question, Sunoo only stained his hands red once. The rest was all me. I wanted it to be all me.” 
“Why?” you asked with a shaky breath. 
“Again,” he leaned forward, “To destroy Jake. Destroy everything he was and what he had built. To murder him and take up his ghost face mantle and make you love me instead of him!” Heeseung clenched his fists, “I could have continued his legacy and had you at my side. Oh, the way I’ve dreamed of being in his position. Getting to be the one to be ghost face and come home to you every night and fuck you so so good. With Jake completely out of the picture. You were such a fucking tease with how you drew me into you, I knew it was too good to be true but I couldn’t help myself. Feeling your legs wrapped around me and lips brushing against mine, getting to finally touch you…” 
Your ears turned red and you stood from the chair, “You’re fucking crazy!!” 
Heeseung stood up quickly, leaning closer to the glass, “Says the one who is fucking a serial killer every single night.” 
You shook your head, “He’s changed.” 
Heeseung laughs a bit too loud, it echoing against the walls on your side of the glass, “Has he though?” he smirked, “Where is your boyfriend at right now? Do you know?” 
You swallow, thinking of all the places Jake could possibly be right now, not giving him an answer. 
Heeseung leans closer to the glass, his breath fogging it up, tapping his index finger against the glass, “I think we both know where he is right now, YN.” 
You slowly backed away, blowing off his comment, “We’re done here.” You turn on your heels, quickly pressing the button to buzz yourself out of this room. 
Hessung’s laughter could still be heard, “You know where he is, YN. Use that brain of yours!” 
You exited the mental hospital, quickly walking to your car and climbing inside, dropping your face into your hands and taking a couple of deep breaths. 
Heeseung’s words echoed in your mind over and over on repeat to the point you were driving yourself crazy. You sat back in the seat, glancing at the time on your dashboard, it was almost seven pm and you couldn’t help but wonder where your boyfriend could be, letting Heeseung’s words sink in and not wanting to actually know the truth. 
Jake’s laughter echoes across the empty alleyway, pulling his knife out of this random guy's chest, his blood splattering across Jake’s new mask. He lifted the all-white hockey mask up to the top of his head and pulled down the black bandana to his neck. 
“Awe fuck,” he breathed, staring at the blood dripping down the blade of his knife, “Feels so fucking good to slash with my favorite weapon again,” he coos, “It’s been too long.” 
Jake laughed again, leaning down and pressing the knife to the man’s neck, his eyes widened, and cried out of fear as he looked up at Jake, pleading with him. 
“Yes, I’ve missed seeing those desperate looks,” he pressed the blade more against the man’s neck, and Jake’s smile turned into a frown, “That damn copycat forced me to change my whole persona. My mask and outfit too. Such a fucking shame.” Jake slides the blade in and through his throat, blood going everywhere including Jake’s near face, it being the killing blow. 
He stood to his feet, wiping the blood onto his long-sleeved shirt, staring at his reflection on the blade. Jake’s corners of his lips curled upwards, him not being able to hold back his giggles that once again became a laughing fit. 
“Ahhh,” he sighs after calming down, dropping his hands to his sides and staring up at the nighttime sky, “YN is going to murder me once she finds out where I am,” his smile just grows more, “But that’s just the thrill of it all, knowing she could end me at any moment.” 
Jake walked deeper into the alleyway, grabbing his things. Who knew just chilling and killing could be this much fun? Mostly now that Heeseung took the fall for his plus Jake’s crimes. Jake could start fresh and rebuild what was taken from him. Oh man, he couldn’t wait to see the look on your face once he’s home. His cock twitched with anticipation just thinking about it.  
He tossed the knife up, catching it at its hilt then tossing it again, “We are so back.” 
‧₊˚✧T H E E N D✧˚₊‧
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cys-fic-library · 3 days
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Nighttime Affairs (The Ghoul/Cooper Howard x Reader)
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You and the Ghoul, Cooper Howard, have a complicated relationship with each other. One which involves him paying you some nightly visits when he passes on by that little home of yours out in the lonesome wasteland.
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Warnings: 18+, smut, vaginal sex, fingering, bit of orgasm denial, bit of dirty talking, creampie, biting (its cooper i dunno what you expect, he's going to bite you), oral - reader receiving, complicated relationship, bit of yearning/pinning, fluff, cuddling, kissing, splash of angst, not beta read
Pairing: The Ghoul/Cooper Howard x gn!afab!Reader (reader's gender is never mentioned but they do have a vagina)
Wordcount: 4256
a/n: made the smut a bit angsty at the end there by mistake. whoopsie daisies. Anyway, like it says above readers gender is never mentioned. But they do have a vagina (because I have a vagina, and I want to fuck the ghoul). Nothing about reader's chest is ever mentioned either. Also I usually write fluff/non smut fics, and only tend to post that. I have written smut before, but this is just my first time actually sharing some of it. So like ;-; Okie dokie? okie dokie.
Dividers by @/saradika-graphics (much love j ❤️)
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Nights in the wasteland were always a deadly affair. All sort of creatures made themselves known—both human and non-human alike—never having the friendliest of tendencies. It was why you always made sure that your windows remained boarded up. Double checking the door of your home to be firmly locked, before finally making your way to bed.
You always kept a gun hidden beneath your pillow as you slept. Easy to grab in case of a break in. Acting like a sort of safety blanket. Hoping that such a comfort would help you sleep soundly, though most nights you still found it difficult. Restlessness haunted you. Plagued your mind. Never truly able to rest easily—not with danger lurking around ever dark corner. 
 Sometimes that unease proved helpful. Such as tonight, while on the brink of sweet slumber, there had been a shift in the room. The sound of worn floorboards creaking jolting you awake. It wouldn’t be the first time some wanderer had tried to get the jump on you in the middle of the night. 
Hand quick to grab your gun, you point it at the new body in the room. Adrenaline pumping in your veins. Heart on edge. Ready to fire at a moment's notice. 
“Easy there sweetheart.” 
Your tired eyes blinked. Once. Twice. Trying to clear away your sleep clouded vision enough to properly comprehend the familiar figure currently standing in the center of your tiny room. 
“Cooper?” 
The Ghoul grinned at you in the darkness. Hazel eyes almost seeming to shine from the moonlight that managed to filter in. His head had tilted to motion to the gun in your hand. An amused hum leaving him. “Bit of a rude way to greet your guests.” 
“Wouldn’t call you much of a guest.” You lowered the gun and rubbed at your face with a sigh. “More of a nuisance if anything.” 
“Aw, your words wound me darlin’.” His words drawn out and mocking, as he feigned being hurt, before he had turned from you to continue removing his gear. Setting it all wherever he liked in your room. Acting almost as if he owned the place. Not a care in the world that he was currently invading your home uninvited. Again. 
You could only seem to roll your eyes as you watched him. “What are you doing here so late?” 
“Oh just passin’ through.” The Ghoul said with a casual hum. Pulling out his own gun, its barrel glinting just as his gaze had earlier, before he set it on your nightstand. The tossing of his hat onto your bedpost quickly following. “Needed a place to stay.” 
It hadn’t been a question. He wasn’t asking. Never really did when he chose to invite himself into your home. It used to scare you way back when you first met the Ghoul. You never knew if the next time he came would be the one where you met with a bullet. 
But you learned quickly that Cooper only ever did what he felt he needed to. Wouldn’t take the life of someone he found to be useful. He didn’t kill pointlessly like that. Everything had a reason with him. Even if you couldn’t quite see it at first. 
“Well why don’t just make yourself at home then.” You grumbled. Annoyed. A bit more bite to your words then usual. Though it hadn’t seemed to phase him in the slightest. 
“Already on it sweetheart.” 
You glared at him, but he continued to barely pay any mind to it. As you went to put your own gun back beneath the pillow, you had laid down again. Rolling to face the wall, and letting out a tired breath, as you tried to settle. Let the exhaustion claw at your mind and allow your eyes to flutter close. Trying to ignore him just as he did to you. “Just don’t make a mess.” 
The Ghoul hadn’t replied. Which had been a surprise. He always seemed to have something to say. But there was none of that. Instead there was only the sound of more shuffling in the room before the bed finally shifted with his added weight. Pulling you back from the brink of sleep just enough, as he joined you among the tattered sheets.
 Your bed was cramped. Meant for only a single soul, and yet that never seemed to bother him as he fit himself in how he liked. It didn’t take very long for you to feel the press of his cool body against yours. An arm finding itself around your waist, as lips sought out your neck and trailed over your skin. 
“Sleeping.” You said. Quiet. But still you shifted. Legs parting ever so slightly. An invitation you knew he wouldn’t refuse. 
You allowed him to take what he wanted—his true reason for being here—and he did so greedily. Without any ounce of hesitation, bare fingers smoothing down and slipping past the waistband of your pants into their front. Immediately finding the prize he wanted. Your breath hitching as they ghosted over your clit. Teasing. 
“Then sleep.” Lips caressed your ear. His breath hot on your skin. Rough hands had molded you into his liking. Feeling yourself growing wet beneath his fingers all too quickly, as two of them slipped into your heat at first chance. “Don’t bother me, none.” 
Desire bloomed inside you. Arousal coiling tight. He left marks where he could. Harsh kisses that had teeth grazing your skin. Fingers moving inside of you to pull any sound from your lips that he could. Touching you in ways that had you burning, as if you would be engulfed in flames at any second. Toying with your body and purposely bringing you so close to the edge without ever actually bothering to send you over. 
“Stop teasing.” You had shifted again. Trying to provide more space for his devilish hands.  Moving yourself against him to seek the feeling you so desired—that last bit of pleasure that he denied you so easily, and would continue to do so. 
“I thought you were sleeping.” His words had a teasing tone to their depths, as he nipped at your skin. Pressing himself closer. Grinding. His own arousal hard against your hip. Just as worked up as you were it seemed. But somehow still not nearly as desperate. 
“Was trying to.” You sighed out a moan. Leaning impossibly close into him. Hand gripping at his wrist tight as he worked you. Letting his touch consume your very being. “Hard to sleep with someone messing around in my pants.” 
The Ghoul chuckled. “Well let’s fix that then.” 
And suddenly his hands were slipping away. 
You felt your eyes open at the loss of him. Hadn’t even realized they were still closed until that moment. You had gone to protest. Reaching out in the darkness to try and stop him from leaving. But he hadn’t gone far. He had moved you to lay fully onto your back before you could really react. Your pants and underwear removed by him in an instant. Lost to the dark depth of your room's floor. Not to be seen again until morning light. 
The Ghoul loomed over you. Eyes amused, and hands gripping your thighs. He spreads your legs out for himself wide. Exposing your arosural bare before his gaze into the open room. Fitting himself comfortably in between. Almost like there was nowhere else he belonged in the world. Ready to devour you whole. 
And what was worse is that you’d gladly let him do so too. 
“Fucking filthy thing you are.” He had whistled as he looked down at the debauched display he had made of you already. Fingers moving below to run along your dripping lips. Sending another shiver of pleasure up your spine. “You’re soaking and yet I’ve barely done a thing.” 
You couldn’t help but squirm a bit beneath him. He hadn’t bothered to remove any of his own clothes, save for the jacket and gloves he must have tossed somewhere in your room. He never really did remove his clothes when fucked you. Couldn’t remember anytime you had even seen him without a shirt. 
At first you thought he had been shy over his predicament. He wouldn’t have been the first ghoul you met to have struggled with the change after all. But that had been a foolish thought, because Cooper Howard wasn’t ever shy. It was just another thing he couldn’t be bothered with. 
It wasn’t worth it to him to remove, simply put. Probably even still had his boots on at the moment. Trucking sand and only god knows what into your bed. You’d usually lecture him for it. But like with many things tonight, he wouldn’t give you the chance. 
Before you knew it he had leaned down to put his mouth on you. Sucking at your clit. Lips and tongue working you in all the right places. Fingers gripping your thighs to keep you open for him. Devouring you whole, almost like he had been starved for days. 
It didn’t take much of this for you to be brought to that edge. It had been so long since you last saw him—last had him—and his skillful tongue had your orgasm approaching rapidly. Your one hand fisting the sheets below while the other reached for his scarred head. Pulling him in impossibly close. Trying to keep him there. But true to his nature just as you felt those sparks begin to fly he stopped. Lips leaving you and letting your pleasure fall. Hot breath only fanning over your soaked folds. 
He did this often. Riled you up to the point of breaking. Allowing your pleasure to grow high before sending it crashing down again suddenly. Denying that bliss you always found yourself so desperate for when with him. 
Most nights you were brought to tears by it. Begging him to let you have that sweet release. Frustration with his teasing at its peak. Tonight you did not beg or plead though, not yet at least, instead you sat up to lean onto your elbows. Insult for him at the tip of your tongue, ready to lecture him for all he was worth, but any complaint you had quickly died in your throat.
 The Ghoul had bit your thigh. Hard. Whether to silence you, or just because he wanted to, you didn’t know. You just gasped. Trying to pull away, though his hands remained firm. Fingers digging into your skin almost too harshly and holding you in place. Only finally pulling back just enough to swipe his tongue over the mark he left. 
You had winced from the pain, the mark aching, but despite it your arousal only seemed to course through you still. Stronger even. “That was just mean.”
“You like when I’m mean.” He smirked as he sat up again to overlook you. Your blood still staining his lips. “Besides, you’re supposed to be sleeping. Remember?” 
“Yeah and who’s fault is it that I’m not?” 
“No idea what you mean sweetheart.” The Ghoul had let go of your legs then. Leaning back onto his knees to free himself. Belt unbuckling to pull out his aching cock. Squeezing himself briefly before guiding it to your drenched hole. Teasing at your folds.  “Just here enjoying what was given to me after all.” 
It was quick the way he entered. No ceremony or grace. No time to say another single word between you two. Barely gave time for you to gasp again. Sending a shock through your system. He didn’t wait. Thrusts downright filthy as he took you all for himself. Both of your moans and heated breaths filling the room. The air suddenly feeling suffocating and hot. 
Your hands had gripped at his forearms, hoping to ground yourself and failing miserably, all while his own fingers dug into your hips. You tried to meet his own cruel thrusts, but the rhythm he had set  was unrelenting. Pleasure all too consuming. He was right. You liked when he was mean. Liked how rough he was—enjoying how he just took and took from you. He filled you in ways that you knew ruined you for anyone else. And yet still you loved it all so very much. 
You were getting close again. Could feel your peak just at the horizon. Waiting to burst. You moved your hand. Fingers desperate to finally bring yourself that last bit of pleasure to send you over the edge that you’ve desired all night. The one he’s been denying you all evening. But of course he notices immediately. Knocking your hand away before you get any chance. 
“Not yet.” 
You all but whine at his words. Almost pathetically so. Tears finally prickling at the corner of your eyes from being denied by him once again. “Cooper.” 
“You know the rules.” He thrusts a little more roughly as if to punish you. A warning. “You take what I give you.” 
“Please.” 
“Look at you, the mess you are.” He groans out at your begging. Eyes burning hot with desire. Thrusts still unwavering.  “You’d let me do whatever I want to you if it meant I fucked you, wouldn’t you?” 
He had chuckled as you could only seem to nod. Clinging to him. Any kind of words from your lips caught between gasps and moans. You were so overwhelmed. The air was too hot. Everything felt too much but too little at the same time. And it was all because of him. The Ghoul who seemed all too good at taking you apart piece by piece. The mess you were was his fault, and he knew it—reveled in it.
 You could never seem to get enough of him, and he knew it too. He could give you everything or nothing, and you’d still thank him for each little bit of it. He was the same. Even if he would never admit it. He always needed more of you. Both of you were addicted to the other. Needed to feel him just like he needed to feel you. Like a chem neither of you could shake. Didn’t want to shake. 
Cooper’s thrusts had begun to grow sloppy now. His breathing more ragged. Hands squeezing your hips so tightly you were sure to bruise by morning. Your head was swimming. Drowning in the pleasure and losing it in the feeling of him. Mind too far gone to think of anything else. A mere mess of moans and gasps, as tears streamed down your cheeks. So close to unraveling at the seams for him. All just for him. 
When he reached his end he didn’t give you any kind of warning save for a low moaned fuck. Making sure to thrust into you deeply. As far as he could go. His cum filling you to the brim as he did. It was only then when his fingers found your clit again. Rubbing the nub in harsh brutal circles that finally sent you crashing over as well. Ripping your orgasm from your body like he was owed nothing less. 
“There you are, take all of me.” He groaned out as you squeezed and clenched around him. Breathless. Eyes watching how you came undone. Making sure to take in every bit of you that he could as you lost it beneath him. “Come for me darlin’.” 
Your nerves felt on edge as the pleasure wrecked through your system. Body shaking while you could only seem to cling to him tighter. Hands fisted into his shirt and your legs squeezing around his hips, trapping his form to yours all while riding out your orgasm. 
It wouldn’t be until the high began to dwindle where your mind would begin to clear again. A gentle throb at your core. Your body relaxed in his arms, limbs growing heavy, and breath beginning to return. The night's air starting to feel cool against your heated skin. 
He hadn’t pulled out yet. Just stayed inside with the mess he made, as you both came down from your pleasure. Your oversensitive walls still clinging to his softening cock despite how completely wrecked you felt. Eventually you had almost felt sticky laying there—covered in your own sweat and grim. You tried to move away. Trying to free yourself from his grasp, but the hand he still had on your hip stopped you. Squeezing gently. 
“Cooper-” You had begun to question him, eyes fluttering open and looking to Ghoul who still hovered above, but found yourself unable to finish when you finally met his gaze. Breath and words caught in your throat all over again. 
Intense. Soft. There was a strange feeling that swarmed there in his eyes. Something you weren’t quite used to seeing from him. Something you just couldn’t place. It surprised you when he leaned in. Made your heart flutter—stomach flip—as his lips found yours. 
The Ghoul rarely kissed you, and when he did it was rough. All teeth and bite, just like everything else about him, but this kiss wasn’t anything like that. There was an odd softness to it. So gentle, and unlike anything you had ever shared with him before, but it was good all the same. Left your heart feeling like it was going to fall out of your chest right then and there.  
 It had all been fleeting though. That fluttering feeling. That sweet kiss. Lips pressed to yours only for a moment before they were gone again. Like it had never happened in the first place. Just another piece of memories from him to add to your imagination. Never to be addressed. 
There wasn’t a word spoken between you as he finally pulled out from your sensitive walls. The touch of his body—his hands—leaving you, as he moved to settle at your side again. He didn’t look your way, but you couldn’t help lull your head over to gaze at him. Still stuck in that dreamlike feeling. Watching. Quiet as he leaned over the bedside to rummage around in his bag. Pulling out the vials you had seen him take so many times by now. 
You still hadn’t a clue to what they were really. Knew it kept him from going feral, but beyond that you knew nothing. Which is how he liked things typically. He never told you too much. That’s just what it was always like between you two. You hadn’t even known his name till quite recently. 
It was during one of the last few times he had visited, if you recalled. Between moans and bated breaths. Pleasure so close to reaching its peak when he first told it. Cooper. You still remember how desperate he sounded. Caught off guard by the unfamiliar tone from the Ghoul you were beginning to know so well.  Name’s Cooper darlin’. And you’d never forget the way he practically crumbled to pieces as you said the name back. Soul exposed to you in ways you never thought possible with him. 
Honestly, you didn’t even think he had a soul until that moment. 
The Ghoul hadn’t been back for months after that night. For reasons you could only guess at. There was a point where you didn’t think he’d ever be back to seek you out again. But of course he was always full of surprises. Almost half a year passed until you saw him again at your doorstep. Acting as if nothing had happened since last, like he hadn’t been gone far longer then he ever had before. Familiar bite and taunting words greeting you fondly. All back to his normal self—or what was normal of him to you at least. 
“Cooper?” 
He inhales the chem. Doesn’t pay you any mind in the slightest. Which is fine. Doesn’t stop yourself from shifting closer to him. Allowing for one of your hands to trail up his chest. You feel him pausing briefly at your touch, and your eyes meet his as he glances your way. He’s unreadable as he gazes at you, hazel eyes holding yours for a mere second, before they’re focusing back to his life saving vials. 
He doesn’t go to stop you though, so you take the chance to tuck yourself into his side. Head resting on his chest. Your eyes feeling heavy once more as you do. But still you don’t sleep yet. Not when you know how little time you have left with the Ghoul. So instead your fingers draw shapes over him, and play with the button of his shirt he still never bothered to remove. 
“Thought I told you to fuckin’ sleep.” His voice brings you away from your thoughts, as he finishes up with his chem. Sounding almost annoyed, probably was, he’s not one for showing much bouts of affection after all. Doesn’t even really like when you’re clingy either. But somehow that still doesn’t stop his free arm winding itself around your waist. Holding you close.  
“Cooper…” 
“Sleep.” The Ghoul’s voice had been quiet but firm. He had pulled his hat from the bedpost to wear again, tugging it to rest over his closing eyes. “Some of us got shit to do in the morning.” 
You didn’t bother to point out how he had been the one disturbing you up till this moment. There was no point in arguing with him though. He wouldn’t listen—a stubborn bastard through and through. 
Not that you could find a good reason to do so anyway. Especially not with how your eyes kept trying to flutter shut, or how comforting it felt laying there in his arms. Listening to his breathing. His very subtle heartbeat somehow loud to your ears. 
When sleep finally took you it would be peaceful for once. Something about knowing the Ghoul was there made you feel calm. Even though you knew that it should have been the opposite. He was deadly. Could kill you in a second. But somehow that hadn’t bothered you in the slightest. Not anymore, at least. Instead it made you feel at ease.
 Safe.
The sun would be barely rising as you woke to the early light. Gentle rays illuminating your small room in a warm orange glow. You had stretched, yawning, before naturally going to feel for the Ghoul that had invaded your home last night. His spot had been empty, of course, long grown cold now that he didn’t occupy its space. 
He never stayed for long. Any night he spent with you he was always gone before you ever had the chance of waking. It’s just how he was. How things were meant to be between you two. You had understood since the very beginning, all those years ago when first taking him into your bed. 
And yet still your fingers ran over the spot. An ache settling in your heart. You knew there was no reason to be sentimental. There was no reason to miss something that wasn’t truly yours. But there was a part of you that did. A piece of you that wanted more than this—wanted what you couldn’t truly have for yourself. 
The Ghoul, Cooper Howrad. You wanted him. More than just for sex. His heart, his soul. You wanted it all. Every piece of him. Craved it even. More than you ever desired something in your entire life. That thought of being his, and him being yours rattling around in that silly little heart of yours. 
He’d never allow it. 
Sighing, you pulled your hand away from his spot and sat up. Wincing. You had almost forgotten about it. The bite mark he left on your thigh still painful. Carefully you looked it over. He hadn’t taken a chunk out of you. Thankfully. Just left you looking like some sort of chew toy like he usually did. 
It wasn’t worth a stimpak. Not like you’d ever consider using one anyway for such a minor injury. It would be a waste otherwise, and being wasteful out here meant death even on a good day. 
Sometimes you wondered if that was why he marked you up so much. As if he knew you wouldn’t bother to heal them so quickly. You wondered if he enjoyed knowing that your body carried signs of him for days. Bites and bruises like some sort of possessive claim. Every mark from him a reminder of just who exactly had left them there in the first place. 
You doubted it all the same though, he probably just thought it was fun to bite and mark you up. Probably did it to everyone he spent the night with. You were sure there were others. Even if he’s never said so, you weren’t dumb enough to think otherwise, as sad as it made you to think about sometimes. 
Leaving bed, your morning would end up being the same as any other. You’d get yourself ready, tidy up the room, and eat what little food you had. After you’d work the day away. Maybe even head into town for a little bit before heading back home. The simple mundane routine so natural to you now that it went about like clockwork. Doing what you needed to survive before the sun would fall again. The moon taking its place easily in a sky painted by shining stars. 
And as you’d lay in bed once more. You’d look out to the wasteland through those cracks in the boarded window. Wondering if he’d show, eyes searching for any kind of sign of him. Waiting—hoping—for the Ghoul to arrive again. 
But of course, he wouldn’t.
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mrsbuckybarnes1917 · 3 days
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2: UNWELCOME DISTANCE
Previous chapter < MASTERLIST > Next chapter
Dinner with Bucky didn't go as well as you planned and now you're suffering from the outcome of being ditched in an autumn thunderstorm.
Word count: 3.2k
Warning: feelings of betrayal, shitty communications skills, illness (upper respiratory tract infection) description, Coney Island and cotton candy, jealousy, Bucky... Barnes is a warning
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The following morning, you woke up feeling a little worse for wear. You buried your face in your pillow willing the tickle in your throat and at the back of your nose to disappear. A small groan left your lips as your attempt to sleep in was thwarted by the aching throughout your body. Sitting up did little to make you feel better, other than shifting the balance of mucus in your sinuses, making you sneeze and worsening the scratchiness of your throat. You looked up at the clock, you’d missed the breakfast time that you were expected to attend, but there weren’t any messages on your phone expressing concern from your friends.
A throb of self pity and doubt flashed through your mind. Did any of them even care? You had lost Bucky to another woman, but clearly none of your other friends had noticed your absence. You weren’t special, you’d only been invited to join the Avengers Initiative because of your powers. The thoughts were just forming, your mind ready to spiral into a storm of insecurity, when there was a knock at your door. Each movement felt like wading through molasses, and even sitting up seemed like an insurmountable task.
"Cricket?" Steve’s voice permeated into the room.
"Coming!" At least that was what you tried to say, your voice coming out as a small croak. You padded over to the door barefoot and opened the door to find Steve’s kind face looking down at you.
His concern was etched across his features as he took in your disheveled appearance. Dark circles clung to your eyes, and your skin had lost its usual healthy hue.
"Hey there, sunshine," he greeted, his voice gentle. "How’re you feeling?"
There was only one word that would succinctly sum up your emotional and physical state in that moment. "Shit," you mumbled, sniffing at the fluid that was threatening to leak from your nose.
He reached out, his hand cool against your feverish skin. His touch was comforting, grounding you in the midst of your misery. "You definitely have a fever," he confirmed.
As if to affirm his observation, your body pitched forwards in a violent sneeze, which you barely had the time to catch with the inside of your elbow. You ended the outburst with a pained groan, as the back of your throat burned.
Steve’s concern deepened. "You need rest," he said firmly, steering you back into bed. "I’ll make you some tea."
You followed his instructions without protest, not having the energy to argue. It would be best for you to stay in bed, you’d get better quicker with rest, and it was a great excuse to avoid seeing your best friend and his girlfriend. The practical side of you would use the excuse that you didn’t want to expose anyone to your germs. At least Steve would be protected by the serum, so you didn’t need to worry about him hanging around. So with a clear conscience, you snuggled back under your covers to wait for Steve’s return.
As he disappeared towards the kitchen, you sank back into your pillows. Maybe losing Bucky wasn’t the end of the world. Maybe having a friend like Steve was enough—a warm presence in the midst of your feverish chaos. And as the wind whistled outside, you realized that sometimes, friendship was the best medicine of all.
Little did you know that on his way to the kitchen, Steve ran into Bucky as he was leaving your room.
"Steve?" Bucky called after his friend.
"Hey, Buck."
"What’re you doing?" The real question he wanted to ask was ‘why are you leaving Cricket’s room?’.
"Just grabbing some things for Cricket. She isn’t feeling very well."
"What?" Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed with concern. "She was fine yesterday!"
"Well if you hadn’t left her alone to get drenched in that storm, she probably wouldn’t be so miserable." Steve hadn’t meant to be so harsh with his words, but you had interrupted his beauty sleep the previous night and he was feeling rather disgruntled.
"What’re you trying to say, Steve?
"You shouldn’t have left it so long to tell her." Steve was referring to Priya and how long he'd kept his relationship with her private.
"That’s my decision, Steve." Bucky countered, defensively.
"I know. But maybe you should think about why you were so ready to tell me, but not Cricket."
Bucky clicked his tongue against the roof of mouth, dismissing Steve's comments. "I'm gonna go and see her."
Steve thought about objecting, but decided against it, opting to fetch the things he had promised you.
Bucky’s footsteps echoed down the narrow hallway, each one a heavy reminder of his own recklessness. The storm had raged outside, rain pelting against the window panes like a thousand tiny fists. But he hadn’t been there to shield you from it. Instead, he’d left you alone, vulnerable, and now guilt gnawed at him like a persistent rat.
Your room was dimly lit, the curtains drawn shut against the gray morning. Bucky hesitated at the threshold, his knuckles grazing the wooden doorframe. He’d never been good with words, especially when it came to matters of the heart. But he had to try.
"Cricket?" His voice was soft, almost tentative. He stepped inside, the floorboards creaking under his weight. There you were, cocooned in blankets, your face pale against the pillows. The storm had taken its toll on you, and he cursed himself for not being there.
You stirred, eyelashes fluttering open. "Bucky?" Your voice was a whisper, fragile like a spider’s silk. "What’re you doing here?"
He crossed the room in two strides, perching on the edge of your bed. "I… I heard you weren’t feeling well." His fingers brushed against your forehead, checking for fever. "Steve told me."
You managed a weak smile. "Steve’s a tattletale."
"He cares about you," Bucky said gruffly. "We both do."
"I feel bad for dragging him out of bed last night."
"Cricket, why didn't you tell me you didn't have any way to get back home. I would have brought a car instead of my bike."
You shrugged, “I didn’t think I had to.”
He had been so caught up in his plans to introduce you to Priya that he hadn’t even considered the possibility that you might need a ride home. He had assumed you would find your own way, and he was just starting to realize how selfish that had been. He should have been more attentive, more caring. He laid a hand on your arm, “I’m sorry, Cricket. I should have been more thoughtful. I wasn’t thinking.”
“Yeah, I got that.”
“Cricket, please, let me make it up to you. I was looking for you this morning. I made your favorite pancakes," Bucky continued. "Thought you could come and have breakfast with me and Priya, before I take her home."
"Sorry," you shrugged, hating this conversation more and more. Why was Steve taking so long to return?
"I was going to spend the day with her, but if you want, I can come back and we can watch some movies."
"Don't cancel your plans on my account." You rolled over, facing away from Bucky.
Your behavior stung, but he couldn't blame you for being angry. He swallowed hard, the lump in his throat threatening to choke him. "I’m sorry," he whispered. "For leaving you out there."
"See you later," you mumbled and Bucky knew he had been dismissed. 
Bucky couldn't shake the guilt that weighed heavily on his chest as he walked away. He had always been a good friend, someone who looked out for others and made sure they were taken care of. But in his excitement to introduce you to Priya, he had neglected to consider your needs.
As he walked away, Bucky couldn't stop replaying the conversation in his head. He had let you down, and he wanted to make things right.
Steve appeared a few moments after his departure, his arms laden with homely remedies and a bowl of soup which smelled incredible. Your stomach rumbled hungrily in response, making you blush.
"Here, take this first," Steve shoved a bottle of DayQuil under your nose.
Begrudgingly, you accepted the painkiller gratefully and then proceeded to slurp up the soup. "This is delicious," you hummed in approval.
"Hey, when you're feeling a bit better, I was thinking I could take you out somewhere… cheer you up a little." Steve stuttered towards the end as he saw surprise on your face. 
You swallowed your mouthful of soup before cracking a smile. “Steve, I'd like that.”
Steve smiled back at you. But suddenly, he reached out, grabbing the bowI in your hands, having noticed the slight hitch in your breath. A sneeze rocked your body forcefully and you groaned.
“Thanks,” you accepted the bowl back from Steve.
"No problem. Don't want to make a mess."
“No,” you sighed, finishing the soup in a sad silence.
“Want me to stay?”
“No, it's okay. I'm just going to go back to sleep.”
Steve took the empty dishes and kissed your forehead, glad that it didn't feel as warm as it had earlier. “Feel better, champ.”
You sure hoped you would.
*
A few days later, you were back in fighting form. But much to Bucky's chagrin, he could never seem to catch your attention for more than a passing nod or wave. He wanted to make things right with you. He missed you, he wasn’t used to being so close to you but not being able to talk to you properly. He had the sneaking suspicion that your distance might not just be ill-timed schedules. Were you avoiding him? He wondered if you were still angry at him for not giving you a ride back home after your dinner with Priya. A feeling of melancholy settled over him as he speculated on all the things he could have done that made you take a step away from him. Every reason under the sun spiraled through Bucky’s mind except the real reason for your withdrawal.
Bucky had hoped that meeting someone else, someone who was interested in him would help him push away the feelings he had for you. Closure. That’s what they called it in the movies these days. But this didn’t seem like it was going quite the way he had anticipated. In fact, rather than feeling happier, he felt more tortured than he had before. Maybe going out with Priya would take his mind off things, so he decided to give her a call and schedule a date, she had a way of soothing his turbulent thoughts. Not as well as you did, no one understood him quite like you did.
*
Steve was true to his word, and had whipped up a surprise plan for the two of you to spend the day together. He had chosen a Wednesday, explaining that it was a good time as the place would be less busy. He made sure you had dressed warmly, in spite of the sunny weather. 
"Don’t want you getting ill again," he smiled as you got into the car with him.
"Is that why we’re not taking the bike?"
Steve shook his head, knowing how much you loved riding motorcycles.
"So where are you taking me?" you asked. You’d been trying to get Steve to tell you for the last few days, but the tight lipped Captain had resisted all your wily techniques at information extraction.
"Coney Island."
"Ohh!" you exclaimed. "I haven’t been there for years!" You laughed before a thought popped into your head, a memory. "Are you sure you want to go there, Steve?"
"Why wouldn’t I want to go to Coney Island?"
"Well, I heard about… the… Cyclone Incident."
Steve blushed. "Bucky telling everyone that story, huh?"
"Afraid so." Your smile was soured slightly by the shadow casted by Bucky’s name and you turned to stare out of the window, letting Steve drive in silence.
Steve shook his head. He wanted nothing more than for both his best friends to be happy, and for the two of you to be happy together was the ultimate goal. He hoped that one day both of you would come to your senses, but until then, he would do his best to support you both.
The weather turned out to be fine and you had shed your top layer before even leaving the car.
"Oh come on! Stop being such a dad! We can always come back to the car if it gets chilly!" you responded to Steve’s disapproval.
"Come on then!"
It was a beautiful day filled with laughter and joy between you and Steve. He was glued to your side, treating you to all the rides, indulging you when you wanted to ride the Cyclone repeatedly. Every time you got to the end of the ride, you’d turn to him and make sure he wouldn’t spill his guts. Steve rolled his eyes dramatically as you laughed hysterically.
"What next?" Steve asked. "And don’t tell me we’re doing that again."
"Come on, the girl letting people in definitely has a crush on you! Why do you think we got on for free the last two times?"
Steve grabbed your wrist, "Come on!" He led you away from the rides, over to a cotton candy kiosk, dropping a few notes into the vendor's hand and selecting two cones. You took the liberty of grabbing the blue one from his hand and tucking into it before he had the chance to object.
"Bet I can eat this faster than you can!" Steve suggested slyly.
"Oh, bring it, Rogers!" You tore the stick out of the candy cloud and scrunched it up into a tiny ball, sticking it in your mouth and letting the sugar dissolve on its own.
Steve, who had taken several large bites, looked up in confusion and awe. He eyed your empty hands, then put his finger on your bottom lip, pushing it down and peering into your mouth. 
You indulged his disbelief, opening your mouth and sticking out your tongue. "See, all gone! I win!" you smile with glee.
"Wow!"
"You forget, I was the youngest of five! I had to learn to eat fast or I’d lose out." 
Steve chortled quietly at your story. "Fine, what do you want as your prize?" He waved around at all the game stalls, letting you pick your prize.
You gazed around, contemplating your options when you spotted a giant stuffed wolf. "That one!"
Steve was true to his word and threw every bean bag with perfect aim and you pointed at a white plushie which looked a little different to the others. 
"Why don’t you take this one?" the vendor tried to shove a dark gray wolf into your arms, but you declined.
"No thank you, I’d like that one please." You selected one which had been stuffed on a high shelf, away from the others of its kind.
"Honey, this one’s going in the garbage, look at him, white body with one gray leg. It’s a defective product, they made a mistake in the factory. Happens from time to time."
But you were adamant, you wanted the white wolf with the transplanted leg.
"Whatever you want, miss." The vendor handed you the soft toy, which you hugged to your chest. There was something about him that you wanted to keep safe.
Unbeknownst to you, you had been spotted by someone unexpected. Bucky had had a similar thought to Steve, he had brought Priya to the ‘island’ on a quiet weekday for some harmless fun.
"Jamie, look!" Priya tugged at his sleeve. "Isn't that Cricket and Steve?"
Bucky's head whipped around so fast, he almost had empathy for whiplash sufferers. He frowned, eye searching the crowd in the direction of Priya’s outstretched hand. He couldn't believe that you would come here with Steve. He had often suggested a trip to Coney Island to you, but you'd never managed to make the time for it. So seeing you here with Steve made his insides burn with jealousy. Another part of him, his guilt-ridden conscience told him that he didn't deserve you. Naturally, you'd choose the classical hero, Steve. He was the golden boy, even when they'd been kids, Steve was the trouble maker, but somehow Bucky was the one his parents mistrusted. 
"Yeah," he grumbled.
"Let's go over and say hi!"
"I'm sure they don't want us to interrupt them." Bucky vetoed the suggestion with a sulky expression.
"Fair, I mean I wouldn't want anyone interrupting our date either." Priya smiled, taking Bucky's hand, leading him away. Bucky stole one last glance at his two best friends, a deep ache settling inside him as Priya dragged him away from you. 
*
Over the next week, you and Bucky drifted through the compound, both longing for the other but not quite able to find it within yourselves to seek the other out. For you, it was a simple matter of avoidance. You'd made the mistake of touching the flame and now you suffered the burn. But for Bucky it was different. He couldn't understand your absence and he knew nothing of your pain.
He could feel the frustration building up inside him, until one day he caught you returning to your room. And every one of his thoughts and accusations came pouring out.
"What is it? Why’re you upset with me?" Bucky demanded.
"I’m not upset… it’s not- I’m hurt. You hurt me. It’s not that you did something wrong. In fact you haven’t done anything wrong. It’s just that I thought you’d share something big, like dating, with me. But you kept it secret. For four months! I thought we told each other everything. I … I just expected-" you shrugged. "And that’s the problem here. My expectations were wrong, and I’m ashamed. But you didn’t do anything wrong. You have nothing to apologize for. But somehow I feel like I’m going to lose you."
"You’ll never lose me, Cricket."
"But Buck, I already have. Like she said… she’s your best friend now." Bucky opened his mouth to interrupt, but you put your hand out to stop him talking. "I just need some time to deal with that. Is that okay?"
"I didn’t mean to hurt you," he mumbled. The sincerity evident in his tone and face.
"I know, Buck," you sighed. "I know. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel guilty. Please, I want you to be happy. I’m happy for you."
"Please, let me make this up to you." Bucky grabbed your wrist, desperately.
"You can do that by making sure you take care of yourself. I’m always going to be with you, on missions and stuff, partner," you patted his upper arm. "I just think that our friendship’s going to change a little… and I just need some time to get used to that."
"Is this because of Steve?"
"Steve?" you repeated after him, feeling confused by the change in topic. "What does Steve have to do with this?"
"Are you together?"
"What? No! Bucky, why would you think that?"
"I just…" He shrugged, not quite able to bring up seeing you at Coney Island, or the moment of closeness you had had with Steve the night he had introduced you to Priya.
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