#this feels surreal but I’m just posting this and now I’m going to sleep

[koffeenoe]

Kisaki with his hair down 💛

#illustration #my fanart #tokyo revengers #tokyorev #kisaki tetta #kisaki #helllooooo peopleeeeeeeeee #how many years have passed since the last kisaki art omg 😭 #this feels surreal but I’m just posting this and now I’m going to sleep #hope you’re havlng a good day #have a good rest in case you’ll sleep #just like me #lol #VIVA KISAKI TE AMO #💛💜

[flowermiist]

A warm heart - Prologue

Click here to read new chapters... ♡

Pairing: John Price x Fem!Reader

Sypnosis: Some time ago, you started a cooking channel on YouTube as a way to relax, have a proper hobby and teach others your favorite recipes as you improved your own culinary skills too. Fame wasn’t something you wanted, you were more than happy with your 50k subscribers... Yet you never thought you’d stumble upon one of them.

Word count: 1.k

A/N: So I’m really excited since this is my very first fic... I still haven’t planned it much but I’m already working on the first chapter as I post this!! If you have any suggestions or comments please leave them below. Comments and reblogs are always so welcome and appreciated.

John had gotten back from base two days ago, he had spent nearly three months stuck in Egypt with some CIA members and his SAS team. Time there went slow, it felt like it would never end, most intel they could gather was messy but the missions were successful.

Sitting on his couch and with his already third glass of scotch, John knew his stomach wouldn’t actually settle for alcohol and a cigar – It was too late to go out, most places would already be closed by now – except for some street food carts and dingy local pubs. So now, both his exhaustion of having spent his whole day locked away in his office finishing reports and filling out documents was mixing with his empty stomach and possible upcoming migraines making him way too irritable and tired to even attempt going out and getting something – Not like he was even in the mood to do so.

If this moment had been one of the irritated man’s childhood caricatures, a lightbulb would have gone on above his head as he remembered the few basics he had gotten from the grocery store in the middle of the road on his way home while getting back home from base. The captain let out a deep grunt as he got up from the couch, grabbing the empty glass of scotch and the TV remote to turn it off and walk to his kitchen.

Opening his pantry, he only saw the basics, some canned tomato sauce and a single bag of spaghetti. John sighed as he grabbed those two ingredients and hopes that it would at least taste decent enough not to make his headache worse. Internally cursing himself for not getting more things from the store – not being home for too long did limit a lot of his comfort and meal options when it came to getting back after a long time, buying food that would expire too soon before going to work would only mess up his pantry and fridge.

When it came to cooking, he wasn’t exactly an expert. Yes, he could defend his culinary skills by making a good English breakfast and a cup of tea but besides that? Yeah, no. Yet for some reason, John didn’t want to admit the fact that he had grown too accustomed to the meals he’d get at base or the pickup he’d order whenever he was home. Almost embarrassing that an officer specialized in unconventional warfare or any kind of missions would find it more difficult to cook for himself than to deploy to the most dangerous and broken places on earth.

Luck had jumped out of his window and the spaghetti ended up tasting horrible to say the least – Was it the sauce? Was it expired? Or did John just get horrible at cooking at this point? Too tired to care, the gruff man washed the dishes and went to sleep. This culinary war wasn’t over.

The following morning was busy, the captain went out for a morning jog then continued finishing up the last reports. His house had been too quiet for his own liking because when a man like John Price has gotten too used to the chaos and noise of all the places he deploys to and filled with all kinds of people, being in his own house feels almost surreal. Almost like he doesn’t belong here, like all he can handle are the noises that will not leave him alone with his thoughts eating him alive.

His own perseverance and stubbornness did not allow him to give up when it came to cooking, he was a grown man for crying out loud! No goddamn way he could be able to handle all the things he sees in his line of work but couldn’t handle himself in the kitchen – he thought.

Closing the other tabs on his laptop, he entered YouTube. After searching for basic recipes to challenge himself, he came upon certain channel – “Y/N’s kitchen diaries.”

Not even ten minutes later, he was already taking notes and focusing on every single detail.

John had prepared one of the recipes for dinner after yet another visit to the grocerie store, a less rushed one this time and somewhere that wasn’t in the middle of an isolated road. Meticulously following every single step shown by the woman in the videos – he liked her voice, it wasn’t like one of those annoying cooking shows from TV that would be filled with ads for kitchen tools and nonsense chatter, it even felt as if he had some company with the video – “Here we have our final result.” She spoke softly as she was showing the results, John looked at her video then back at his plate – It looked and smelled good. “As you can see the chicken is juicy and the smoked paprika gives it that extra flavor. Now our broccoli has that chewy yet soft texture, I personally sprinkle some salt on top of it but that is up to your liking.” A small pause before she spoke again, by then, John was already placing the plate on the dining table before grabbing his phone as the young woman spoke the final lines of the video. “Thank you for watching – don’t forget to comment down below if you have any suggestions or any recipes you’d like me to try. Bye Bye!” – The video ended and John had a small smirk on his face, both proud of himself and amused by how well this went. He clicked on the “subscribe” button and left his phone on top of the counter, walking towards the dining table and taking a seat.

The moment you got home, you kicked off your high heels, grunting from the relief as you stomped on the floor a few times – getting that relief of your feet getting accustomed to flat ground again. Putting your purse aside, you make your way towards the kitchen where you open the fridge and take some leftovers from yesterday and place the plate in the microwave – this gives you some time to rush to your bedroom and get your laptop to continue editing one of your videos, a new lasagna recipe you had been improving and recorded a video of.

While making your way out of your bedroom, you hear the little musical alarm of the microwave going off. You wanted to record a little something to start with the next video; yet you knew you didn’t have the enough ingredients to do so and neither did you have the energy to edit and record at the same time, not tonight at least – “Will do it tomorrow…” you mumble to yourself as you open your laptop and set your plate on top of the coffee table of your living room. – “Thereee we go...” you almost moan the moment your body falls down onto the couch, finally getting some rest.

You took some time to check your channel, seeing if there was anything interesting – YouTube was the only platform you uploaded your cooking videos to as you didn’t see it as a big deal but rather a hobby you enjoyed and relaxed with, the rest of your social media was pretty much private and not about your recipes or small food vlogs. Learning how to edit videos by yourself hadn’t been an easy task – but to you, it was worth it as it helped you clear your mind and not seem too crazy while talking to yourself in front of a camera. Before starting to make videos, you talked to yourself while doing tasks, eventually it just came into your mind – Why the hell not? You wouldn’t seem too crazy if you talked to a camera and recorded things for yourself, right? It was a good reason to talk to yourself, not an excuse. Starting your channel had been a rather spontaneous decision you took two years ago with the difference that nowadays, you are more frequent with your content than you were back then.

Sighing in relief, you turn off your laptop since you had finally finished the last details of the video. You were already stripping off your clothes on your way to the bedroom, not caring about tonight’s shower but rather tonight’s rest, you’d do everything tomorrow.

#captain price #john price #call of duty #john price x reader #cod #cod mw2 #captain price x reader #captain price x you #fem!reader #romance #cod x reader

[bonbunnydreams]

waking from the nightmare

sunday x fem reader (he calls you his 'sweet girl' once) hurt/comfort post 2.2 so 2.2 spoilers

a/n: very self-ship coded but finishing 2.2 gave me a lot of feelings regarding Sunday and this was how I decided to cope. Was debating about publishing, but honestly the world could use more soft sunday content. he deserves nice things.

The long nightmare is finally over.

While the rest of Penacony had awoken from their dreams, that was the moment your nightmare had begun.

After the fall of the dream, Sunday was nowhere to be found. Despite Robin's intuition that he was indeed alive, it was not enough to soothe you. You spent long nights in his manor, tossing and turning as you struggled to sleep without knowing his ultimate fate. Your eyes always red from crying by the morning.

In the end you were the one who had to plead with members of the Bloodhound family, the ones who had found his injured form, to let him go back to you. Eventually, they relented, unable to look at you as you wept and pleaded for them to let him go. That everything that had happened was not his fault, not truly.

Now you lay beside him in his bed. Your head resting against his chest as he holds you to him. It's a surreal feeling to you, after being partially convinced you may never see him again.

Your eyes water at the thought. His hand instinctively reaching to caress your hair, threading his fingers through the strands.

"I... I'm sorry... You shouldn't... shouldn't have..."

You look up at the sound of his voice, shaking your head. A quiet sniffle escaping you.

"N-No, Sunday... You don't... you don't need to apologize for anything... You didn't... you were just trying to do what you thought was right. You aren't... you aren't a bad person..." You murmur softly through your tears, wiping them away with a balled fist as you try and fail not to fall apart in front of him.

"Little dove..." He whispers, softly, the golden hues of his eyes softening as he lifts a hand to your face. Wiping away your tears with his thumb. "You are so kind, so good... Too sweet for your own good... But that has always been what drew me to you, isn't it?" He gives you a half smile, the wings beside his head fluttering slightly for a moment. “How you remained so kind, so understanding despite all the pain the world put you through... How you never let it change you, twist you into something else.” He pulls you closer, holding you protectively to him. Settling his chin atop your head as you weep silently against his chest. Your fingers curling against his nightwear, clinging to him as if you feel afraid, afraid he might be taken from you again. “Promise... promise me you will stay, please... Sunday. I just... I was so afraid, afraid I would never see you again...” He hushes you softly, brushing his fingers through your hair again. His free hand moving to rub small circles around the small of your back. “Of course, my sweet girl. I promise. I will not leave you alone again, I’m here. Rest, little dove. Everything will... will be alright.”

#hsr x reader #sunday x reader #honkai star rail x reader #2.2 spoilers #sunday hsr x reader

[glojo]

❥ Beg For It, Petal.

» RATING › 18+ [M I N O R S D O N O T I N T E R A C T] » GENRE(S) › smut/fluff » PAIRING(S) › geto suguru x female!reader x gojo satoru » WORD(S) › 2.8k+ » SYNOPSIS › You simply want to make breakfast for your boyfriend's but they have something else in mind. » SMUT WARNING(S) › oral (female receiving), fingering, squirting, gojo & geto kissing, a smidge of dirty talking, allude to sub!geto, allude to anal, praise kink, begging, nicknames (petal, peach, love, pretty girl, honey, & gorgeous), loads of cuddling between the three of you, vacation vibes only! (half-ass edited so beware lol) » POST DATE › 03/21/2024

thank you for reading! & remember: you nice, keep going.❤️ comment/reblogs(s) and like(s) are totally welcomed! › read more work here: masterlist ‹

It’s merely morning when the sun begins to rise, casting a surreal glow into the room. Your body and mind decide to stir as you wake from your slumber. The black curtains hardly catch the glare that hits your face when you try to turn over. It’s then that you realize you’re laid snug on top of Satoru. You can feel his even breath against your neck as he smushes his face against your chest. His grip on your waist is tight and it stops you from being able to turn like you want to.

“Stop.” Satoru groans when you shift your body, leaving Suguru to grab you from his arms (or more importantly, before you can get up to leave). His hold is much firmer than Satoru’, his face is buried in your neck and you can feel him press soft kisses against it.

“Pretty girl,” Suguru chuckles the moment you moan. “Where are you trying to go, honey?” His eyes remain closed, his voice is soft but raspy and for a second, you melt into his embrace as he smothers you closer to his chest. One of the things you love to do is simply listen to this beautiful man talk. His voice is so calming and reassuring that you often fall into this state of bliss. You appreciate the feelings both he and Satoru give you while you're tucked into their arms. A sense of safety and security that everything will be alright. You close your eyes and savor the moment, knowing this feels like home.

“You’re staring, baby.” He wolfishly grins, bringing his hand up to caress your bottom lip. “It’s still early… It's only eight and you’re already trying to leave us.” Glancing over at the clock on the dresser, you realize he's right. It's eight forty-three and honestly, you can use a little more sleep. “Sleep.”

“I want to get up though,” You whine as he only chuckles about how cute you are. You want to get up, take a shower, maybe even get breakfast started for them but you can't do that since Suguru won't let you go. “And It’s not that early, ‘Gu. I could be cooking breakfast right now. I’m hungry.” As if on cue your stomach growls, alerting him of the basic need that hasn't been met. “Suguru…”

“But I’d rather you stay here.” He peeks through his left eye to get a good look at you. The ray of sunlight shining through the balcony door just right to radiate not only the room but you too. An angel in disguise. He can't help but reach up to brush his thumb against the side of your cheek as you lean into his warmth. You can't lie, you love being sandwiched between both of them and right now is no different. “That’s why we hired people for this so you wouldn’t have to move a muscle, honey.”

“But I wanna do it…” You frown, “I-It’s not t-the same-”

“Oh, but It is.” You don't see the smirk present on his face the moment he feels you bury your face in the crook of his neck to attempt to hide. “It's okay to relax. It's your vacation as much as it's ours, Petal. Just sleep.” He says, settling back with you in tow and you lose your breath. You can’t believe how beautiful this man is. He laughs, leaning back to rest his head against the pillows again. You snuggle into his chest, tracing circles on his collarbone.

As time goes on, Suguru’s out like a light again, and you decide to maneuver yourself back between them to get comfortable. Both men snore, one louder than the other. You feel Satoru cuddle up into your back as his hand finds your stomach. He rubs against it as both play tug-a-war with your body to see who gets more to cuddle with. 

The warmth feels good. And the butterflies in your stomach make you feel alive as you’re laid up and fiddling with Satoru’s fingers. 

It's times like this you cherish. The moments where Suguru isn’t in one of his moods and Satoru isn’t off doing god knows what. And neither of them has to leave for days on end. It makes you wish you could stay like this forever and keep them chained to the bed but sadly, you can’t. At least not in the way you want to. Suguru might like it. Satoru? Not so much. Then again, who truly knows? As much sex as you and Satoru have, you haven’t tried that yet. 

Which is surprising in itself and well, you make a mental note to visit a sex shop down the street from your apartment complex one of these days. 

Glancing at the clock again, it's nine-ten and you can't justify laying in bed much longer than you have. You want to see the scenery and all that so you decide it's time to get up and shower. You can even feel the grime of last night's activities start to feel crusty and gross and you can't take it anymore. You run a couple of scenarios through your mind or rather, solutions so you can get up and move freely without waking your boys.

Solution one. Try with all your might to wiggle your way out of their grasp. In which, you do but that plan ends in utter failure when Suguru groans for you not to move again. He turns over to throw his arm over your waist to keep you still. And with Satoru's hand awkwardly sprawled on your ass, they've got you locked in place again. 

Failure.

Solution two. Try to put a pillow in your place but, of course, that was also a failure because they can tell the difference. Hell, they won't even allow you to get up long enough to do the switch.

You're exasperated as you roll over to stare at the ceiling, groaning to no one but yourself. You glance to either side of you. They look adorable with Suguru’s face buried in your chest now and Satoru’s face mushed against the pillows, it makes his lips pucker. You just want to kiss both of them but right now is not the time.

Solution three. Try ripping yourself from their grasp. You try for about five minutes until you realize that's futile.

“Really?” It only serves to annoy you when you hear Satoru chuckle, no doubt listening to you struggle. And if he’s awake then you know Suguru is too even if he doesn’t utter a word. You just want to get up! Your stomach has been growling for a hot minute and you're hungry and gross and ugh!

���Just stay with us, Petal.” How can you say no to that? You don't know but you fix your mouth and tell them to get up when Satoru leans in close. His lips barely touch the skin of your neck and you can feel his gust of breath on your neck that sends a shiver down your spine.

“I was going to make us breakfast though…” You gasp the moment he nibbles against your ear, his warm hand resting against your thigh. So close to where you would like it to be but not right now. You try your best to sit up again but it’s no use. With them holding you the way that they are, you’re shit out of luck. “Well, can I at least take a shower?”

“Mm-mmh,” Suguru mumbles while kissing your shoulder. “Later...”

You roll your eyes at your boyfriend as a sigh falls from your lips. For both of them to be grown men, they’re acting like straight children right now but giving up is the last thing you want to do. Hunger overtakes everything. So you wait, somewhat impatiently for what seems like hours. You knew they were going to fall asleep again soon. 

It was just a matter of time. 

You end up wasting time on your phone, playing some mobile game Satoru told you to download until you hear both men snoring a little louder than before. 

With a shift of their bodies, you're finally able to slip out of their arms to get to the bathroom. You made it your mission to take a quick shower, trying to figure out what you want for breakfast. You don't want to linger in case they wake from their slumber again and try to tug you back into bed. Or you know, in case they decided to hop in the shower with you because breakfast will never be made then.

“Aww,” You coo, seeing them closer with Satoru’s face buried in Suguru’s neck while his leg is hiked onto his front. The blanket covers nothing but their lower half. his arm loosely draped over his tiny waist. Suguru’s waist was a gift from the heavens, you loved it. Especially whenever he’d wrap your legs around it.

You quickly shake those thoughts before they even enter your mind, instead, you snap a picture to tease them later. 

Waltzing over to the drawer, you pull out one of their band shirts, a random one they let you have (since they had so many), and settle for some black panties. Being comfortable was the main thing. 

Stepping out, you close the door quietly and start toward the kitchen. Searching through the fridge to find something to make something simple came to mind, a little bit of both of their favorites.

You're so into what you are cooking, that you don’t hear the door to the suite bedroom open. You also don’t hear either man making their way to the kitchen. 

“Baby?” Satoru whines, wrapping his arms around your waist. You’re startled, mind drawing blanks as you almost drop the hot skillet.

“J-Jesus,” You giggle, turning to face him to push him away, “You scared me.”

“I’m sorry,” Satoru smiles. He peppers kisses down your neck as his hands caress your inner thighs and you can feel the start of his bulge poking into your ass. Suguru stands from the island and pulls you to stand in front of him while Satoru sandwiches you from behind.

“I’m trying to cook,” You whine, feeling Satoru’s hand dip into boy shorts as he rubs his finger over your slit. You throw your head back with a soft moan. Suguru steps away long enough to turn off the stove so the food doesn’t burn, but he steps forward to pick you up and wrap your legs around his waist to sit you on the counter. Neither one says a word, Satoru attacking your neck to hear you groan as Suguru kisses your lips, your body melting into their touches, “I just wanna finish cooking...”

“Maybe we just want you for breakfast,” Satoru growls, nipping at your earlobe before yanking your underwear down and off your body.

“You can finish after we’re done,“ Suguru teases, “You’re already so wet for us, Petal.”

“Fuck yeah, she is,” Satoru smirks, tilting his head so he could get a good look at you. You’re blushing softly, the tint of red turning you into a tomato. “Was it from me touching you or is it the thought of what we’re going to do to you.”

“What’s turning you on, baby?”

“‘Toru…” You don’t want to say it out loud, resulting in you simply nodding your head. Of course, they’re not falling for it. Suguru grips your chin a little harshly but you can’t help but nibble on your bottom lip. Your cunt clenching around absolutely nothing at the blatant show of dominance. Satoru knows that look on your face, you’re slowly falling into that headspace of yours but Satoru doesn’t want you to completely lose yourself. 

At least, not yet.

“Words baby,” Suguru mutters, kissing the corner of your mouth once you take a deep breath to try and ground yourself. 

‘We need to hear you, Peach.”

“Yeah! Yes! Please…” You’re breathless as you throw your arms around Suguru who gets a grip on your thighs to be able to pick up and move you to the kitchen island. You’re going to need more room for the orgasm he’s about to give you. Your hips buck the moment he starts to slowly ease his middle finger inside you. 

“So tight.” Suguru places kisses on your trembling thighs, and all the while, Satoru hops onto the island to settle behind you. He’s glad he sent the chef and maid away for a couple more hours. Let’s be real though, they would have gladly given them a show too. He didn’t care but he knows you do.

“You’re so wet, Peach.”

“She’s sucking my fingers right in.”

Satoru chuckles, bringing his finger to press into your clit before rubbing it while Suguru's fingers continued to pump in and out of your cunt. The sounds cause both men to grow hornier as they watch your orgasm build, you're falling back against Satoru’s chest as he moves to the area above your clit. Suguru takes the opportunity to roll his tongue over your clit before flicking it a couple of times.

“That’s it, love.” Satoru kisses his way down your neck as your mouth falls open and your breathing continues to pick up. You’re right there if the way you try to squeeze your thighs around his hand and Suguru’s head says anything. It’s so hot. Fuck, you’re fucking gorgeous. “Let Sugu take care of you. Feels good doesn’t it?”

You moan in response, reaching for Satoru to bring him closer for a heated kiss. Your eyes close as he wastes no time, his tongue dancing with yours for dominance but ultimately winning.

“Taste sweet.” You throw your head back once more when Satoru starts to play with your bottom lip, gently running his thumb over it. You take it into your mouth, rolling it around your tongue and sucking on it lightly. You can feel how hard he is in your back, wanting to take care of them like they were taking care of you. You let go of his thumb with a soft pop as Suguru leans up to face both of you and quickly runs his palm back and forth over your clit.

“Please- ‘m- Fuck!”

“That’s it,” Satoru teases, running his tongue up your neck and over that spot that makes you shudder. “Don’t be shy, love.”

“Let it out, Petal. Let us hear you.” He whispers, looking at Satoru whose eyes are fixated on you. He wants to taste you until you scream their names. Nibble at your exposed skin until you’re whining for him to stop. He loves the sex-crazed look you get in your eye when you’re about to cum, especially when it’s directed towards him. 

Their faces are so close that Suguru's lips hover not quite touching yours as Satoru is still buried in your neck.

You’re fucking dripping onto the counter, their goal obvious once they catch each other's eyes again and smirk.

“You going to squirt for us, Petal?” Suguru keeps going, hearing you whine but your moans grow louder the moment your body lets go. He leans down, not wanting it to go to waste as his hands slow down but his tongue makes up the work. He continues to lap at your pussy as Satoru watches with sharp lust-filled eyes. 

“Taste good?” Satoru asks as Suguru smirks, giving your pussy a lasting kiss before coming up to meet you and Satoru. It doesn’t take long for Satory to grip his chin to tug him closer. Running his tongue from his chin to his mouth before making out and tasting you all on Sugur’s tongue. Satoru moans into the kiss as Suguru deepens it, all the while, you try to catch your breath before leaning forward to rub Suguru through his boxers.

“Fuck…” Suguru gasps, feeling you lap at his neck while Satoru still has his tongue in his mouth.

This is fucking heaven and god, he doesn’t want to break this.

“Beg for it,” Satoru smirks, pulling away from Suguru but keeping him close enough to feel his breath on his lips. “Beg us to take care of you.” You give Suguru’s cock a gentle squeeze before leaning back against Satoru’s hard chest.

Suguru closes his eyes, swearing he could cum right now. Your gaze is so intense that he knows he’s going to be in for it once you get back to the room.

“Satoru. Petal. Please touch me.” He’s practically begging both of you to do what you want with him. 

“You think that was good enough, Peach?”

You grin, pushing him down to kneel in front of you. 

“I think you can do better than that.”

Satoru hums as both of you stand in front of Suguru with wide grins on your face.

“I know he can too. Guess we’re going to have to fuck it out of him, right Suguru?”

And god, does Suguru's mind grow completely cloudy just thinking about it. 

He can’t fucking wait.

© GOJOLATTE 2024 ➳ ALL RIGHTS RESERVED  PLEASE DO NOT Copy, Translate, Re-Upload, or Steal ANY of my work. Thank You, Beautiful People!

#❛ 🌷 𝚌𝚢𝚗𝚗𝚊 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚜 🖊 ❜ #suguru geto x reader #gojo satoru x reader #suguru geto x gojo satoru #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #gojo saturo #geto suguru #geto x reader #suguru geto #gojo satoru #jjk satoru #satosugu #suguru x reader x satoru #jjk

[meganslife]

Pen pals - p. parker (part three)

read part one and part two if you haven’t already!!<3

pairing: TASM!Peter Parker x Fem!reader

summary: as summer approaches, you and peter have plans to meet each other. also, who the hell is spiderman?

warnings: none :3

a/n: HOLY MOLY I AM POPPING THESE OUT VERY QUICKLY. i already have the 4th part written butttt i’m not gonna post it right away bc suspense is fun;) anyway, enjoy!

When June rolled around, You and Peter had a plan to meet in person. It was going to be a week-long visit. You’d be staying in Queens with Peter and May.

The trip itself was all planned out. You had plane tickets that Peter insisted on paying for, but you ended up buying them instead. You’d be landing in New York on July 1st, and leaving on the 8th. A week wasn’t nearly enough time to make up for years of letters, but it would have to do.

As mid-June approached, you’d been doing a lot of research on things to do in New York. One of the first things that came up when you researched was a vigilante named Spider-Man. You laughed at the name, thinking it wasn’t creative at all.

Then you texted Peter about it right away. Spider-Man was in New York, after all.

‘Who’s this Spider-Man guy?? Twitter says he’s in New York’

‘Spider-Man? He’s kind of silly.’

‘How so?’

‘Umm… He shoots webs out of his body and wears a spandex suit no matter how the weather is. Kind of silly and weird if you ask me.’

‘Are you researching about New York?’

‘Possibly. I was looking up things to do!’

‘Oh, sweetheart. There’s nothing that could prepare you for New York.’

‘Don’t worry, I’ll find us things to do.’

‘I wanna see this Spider guy.’

‘Do you know what he looks like?’

‘He’s super mysterious. I’m not sure how to feel about it.’

‘I think that’s the point, Y/N. He’s a vigilante, you know? He probably doesn’t want anyone to know anything about his personal life. It could be dangerous for him.’

‘You’ve put a lot of thought into this.’

‘Thinking is one of my passions.’

‘Spider-Man has a really nice ass.’

‘PHONE ON THE COUNTER. NOW.’

Peter was slightly off about Spider-Man. You could just feel it. But, it didn’t really matter.

Soon enough, you’d be in Queens. You’d be eating May’s beautiful food and hugging Peter.

You fall asleep with your phone in your hand, and your heart full.

~

The last day of June finally came, and your heart was pounding while packing your suitcase.

It was surreal. In a matter of hours, you’d be over 2,000 miles away from home. The distance between you and Peter would be broken. You’d finally get the hug from Peter that you’ve been yearning for.

When you set your alarm for midnight to wake up for your flight, you couldn’t sleep. Peter was texting you so many sweet words. He was so lovely, you wanted to cry.

‘May is so excited to see you.’

‘I’m also really excited.’

‘I can’t even sleep.’

‘You’re gonna be even prettier in person.’

‘Peter, stop. I’m trying to sleep. I have to wake up at midnight and you’re waking me up with your sappy words.’

‘You love it;)’

‘See you soon, lovie.’

Eventually, you dozed off.

Peter, your pen pal for three years, was finally going to be within your reach.

You were beyond excited, but also slightly nervous.

Either way, it would be okay.

- read about me and find my masterlist here :3

#tasm peter #peter parker x reader #tasm peter parker #peter parker #peter parker smut #mcu peter parker #mcu peter x reader #spider man 2099 #spiderman atsv #spiderman #spilled thoughts #spilled words #spilled writing #writing #ao3 #art #poetry #fanfiction writer #fanfiction #literature #writers on tumblr #poem #writers and poets #love

[hanginwithhkatie]

Hey everyone! I got another update this one’s a bit longer and more personal. It’s a bit heavy too just so you know.

I’m starting to feel a bit better. I’m getting really close to 100 followers now so I’d really like to thank you all SO much. Sometimes I literally can’t believe the support I’ve been getting lately, it feels like one long dream.

Lately I’ve had a real rough go at it, my self confidence has been not great. A lot of the time I suffer from feeling like I’m not good enough to have made all the wonderful friends and followers I have made here. Many of them are creators who inspired me long before I started posting here and it feels almost surreal. I know that’s totally crazy but rationalization has been something I’ve had difficulty with lately

The stress was definitely effecting my art negatively. I found myself getting super frustrated and unable to draw for more than a couple minutes at a time. After making such huge breakthroughs in march I felt like my skill was degrading again, and I lost a bit of my confidence to even try for a bit.

Most days have been going to work, barely struggling through my anxiety and then going home. I would either immediately go to sleep or heavily distract myself to try and take my mind off things.

A lot of things have been contributing to my stress, my feelings of inadequacy in where I’m at in my transition, the fact I’m trying to find a house to rent, a few events going on with my family (and the general uneasiness that is my transition with my parents), and trying to make enough money to make the move go well.

A few days ago it got so bad at work that my stress bubble just popped and I came close to breaking down. Strangely that event has seemed to wrap me back around to a more neutral state of mind, I’ve been calling it an “stress overflow”.

Currently like I mentioned I’m doing a little bit better, I’ve been dog sitting for my family for the past few days which was also helpful.

It’s been really hard lately, and I don’t like to bother people with stuff like this so I’ve been trying to contain it all myself, which has not been working super great.

I wanted to put this out there to give more context to what’s been going on with me lately as my last post wasn’t too descriptive. I genuinely care about everyone here so much, I don’t think I’d be able to function without you. I want to try and be more open about what’s going on in my life especially here. I think it would help me a lot.

I know this is. Kind of a ramble almost but thank you for listening. I can’t thank this community enough for accepting me and making me feel like I genuinely matter.

#cw dysphoria #cw anxiety #update #thank you

[shini--chan]

May I request a birth scenario for the 2ps. You can do either side first and make 2 separate posts.

There is one ask further up in my ask box asking for the dreaded birth scenario with the 2p axis anyway, so I’ll just be doing the 2p allies for now. Warning for implied non-con, manipulation & coercion. You’re reading this at your own risk.

Yandere 2p! Allies – Dreaded Birth

America

“Not like you have much choice, cupcake”, Allen lazily drawled from his place next to you. He had tidied himself up for the birth, and it was downright surreal to see him in a blue overall with a hairnet and mask. Exhausted as you were from pressing the baby out, you had nearly not recognised him for a moment.

“You are not the mother of that…”, you began weakly only to be cut off by him.

“Yes, I’m the daddy and you are the mommy and you’ll act the part. Taking care of another human being will be good for your mental health. We talked about this sugar. You are just acting like this because you just had a difficult birth and post-partum depression is already setting in. Plus, you’re anxiety is showing again.”

Allen would quickly see what you are up to and would do his best to stamp it out as soon as possible. He would have possible caught on to your true feelings on the matter long before the deliver would have taken place with how you would be more emotional and prone to lash out in the weeks leading up to the event. As such, he would have a plan in mind to deal with you.

Would either take you to a small country hospital or a hippy commune to have the birth. There, he would either know the people very well, letting him be the more credible person in the room, or it would be a group of complete strangers that wouldn’t care about your fate and therefore have no incentive to intervene.

Would likely give you a joint or cannabis tea afterwards to make you calm down. Promises would be made and he would have a serious heart-to-heart conversation with you, doing his best to sway you. If else, the carrot and the stick will have to do.

Canada

Sighing Mark turned to the midwife, asking: “Mind leaving us alone for a minute? I have to have a word with my wife.”

“Please don’t go”, you stated. “I don’t want to be alone with him.”

Cassidy, as she was called, looked uncertain between you and Mark, not knowing who to heed. She probably also sensed that something foul was afoot, having likely been in similar situations before, situations where not everything was as it seem on the surface.

“I had a fight with my honey-buns before the contractions started. With everything that happened today, she is probs more mad at me than she usually would be.”

“Alright. I’ll just be by the door. When you have finished comforting her, not hesitate to shout”, the woman said somewhat hurriedly, and then scurried out of the room. Typical – she just wanted to believe what he had said, because the alternative would be so extremely troubling. Now you were alone with the wolf.

Mark could do his best to construct the situation as just an unfortunate series of events. Though, because he wouldn’t be the most sociable and suave guys, he would likely leave opening that you could easily exploit. Taking with the nurse a bit or some other person witnessing the awkward scenes, and you could have a very willing accomplice that could help you escape and even testify in court.

Aside from that, would sit on your bed and do a long lecture, while holding the baby in his arms. Would chide you of disturbing the sleep of the little one if you would raise your voice and reprimand you for being so heartless as to rejecting such a cute and helpless thing that would suffer dearly without your aid. If it initially wouldn’t work, then he would have the following weeks to convince you.

China

Zao raised a thin eye-brow, a rather emotional gesture for such a stoic man. Or at least, for when he wasn’t under the influence of anything. Ignoring your protests, he shoved the baby in your arms, forcing you to take it unless the small tumbled to the side of the narrow bed you had just given birth in and smash its head open. The midwives had just finished washing the wax off the pliable body and swaddled the boy in blankets. After handing the father his child, they had all filed out doubtlessly in accordance to some preplanned schedule.

This China wouldn’t leave much room for argument. He would ensure that events would be framed to make sure that out of the two of you, you would be viewed as the evil doer. The people around you would offer you a lot of unsolicited advice on child rearing and ensure that would be doing your job of a dutiful mother. Should you fail on doing that, they would be the ones to lecture you and shame you. That could or couldn’t be Zao’s intentions, yet the outcome would be that you would feel the pressure more acutely, since it wouldn’t just be some crazed faux-lover telling you what to do.

It would be one of those circumstances where he would continuously invite people over, just to force you into the role of mother. Other’s would gossip and look down on you if you wouldn’t, after all.

All the time, would act as if you are not protesting against motherhood – shoving the child in your arms, leaving you alone with him and assigning you the role of primary caretaker. He is not going to feed the boy, would you let the kid starve? You know that you could go to jail for child abuse if you’d do so.

England

Oliver giggled softly, bright blue eyes shining.

“What did you say, poppet?”, he asked brightly. His appearance made you step back. He was covered in blood, your blood to be exact, seeing that he had played midwife.

You had hoped that the deliver would have meant that you would have been allowed to see other people. Sadly, he had deftly dashed your hopes by doing the task himself. It shouldn’t have surprised you – the mere notion of you in somebody else’ arms drove him berserk.

“Nothing, dear”, you answered quietly, feeling tears well up in your eyes.

Oliver wouldn’t hesitate to go full batshit insane if you would ruin his dream of a happy little family. He would desire, no require a sweet little life with a darling sweet wife and a cute tyke to be happy, so don’t dare tear that away from him.

If you would insist on being difficult, he would go one of two routs. The first one would be dragging you to his personal torture chamber, disregarding that you just gave birth, and torturing you a few hours. You would only be allowed out every once in a while for a quick clean-up and to breastfeed the child.

Or he could play the long game by turning the child you would hate so much against you. Then he would have an ally in keeping your behaviour in check. Perhaps, that route would be so much to his liking that he would force another child on you and repeat the whole process.

France

Francois carelessly snipped the finished bud of his ciggerette towards the rublish bin. It missed and rolled on the floor, vanishing in an arc behind the bin. Sighing for the untempth time this hour already and looked up at you. You were staring at the craddle with bitter contempt, as if the squeaking child had gravely insulted you. This was slowly going too far. Sure, he had would also be more peeved if he would be bleeding from his genitals for over a month and stretched skin turned into a wrinkly flap of tissue. "It is not as if she tried to kill you so stop trying to set her on fire with your eyes", he tiredly commented. Affairs like this made him even more tired than usual. Maybe there was still some German beer in the fridge to calm his nerves. "And yet she still nearly did", you curtly snip back, all to happy to let out your anger now. Ah yes, there was that. On good days Francois could easily forget that you nearly died during childbirth. Partially, he had been angry at the baby for that, at least in the beginning, however, unlike you, he was a rational person and worked quickly to overcome his misgivings. - Francois' solution would just be to shrug off your responses and wait. Surely you would have only been hysterical at the moment and given a few weeks you would surely calm down. If not, then he would resort to violence - burns and choking and attempts to impregnate you again. - Though, that would only be the case if he would still want the child. If you could argue your case well enough, then he would put the child up for adoption. That would be the outcome anyway, if he would find the child to be too difficult he would give it away, regardless of your feelings on the matter.

Russia

Victor raised his eyebrows in askance and then his expression proceeded to melt into one of mirth. The usually stone expression vanished, the corners of his eyes crinkling and his mouth forming into a smile that had too many teeth. Hiding the lower half of his face inside his signature red scarf, he looked even more sinister. That was when it came to you - his happiness stemmed from giddy anticipation. You had just broke one of the rules in this elaborate game of cat and mouse, you had just given him an exuse to act out his crueller fantasies. Normally, you were more careful, but this time, you had lost it all because you had allowed your emotions to get the better of you for the fraction of a minute. Those red eyes, twinkled down at you as he carefully laid the buddled little babe in your lap. You felt a shiver run down your spin as he patted your messy hair. The gesture would be affectionate, if you didn't know him. Ice gathered in your belly and you found yourself frozen with dread. "I'll keep your words in mind", he said softly, and with that, you knew that you were doomed. - Victor would use this as an excuse to let out his pent up anger and frustration out on you. For a few weeks, you would become his emotion punching bag. Of course, it would be constructed so that you would likely not suffer permanent damage. Emphasise on likely, because that could change very quickly if would provoke him. While standardly a very collected man, when he would already be swimming in anger, he would lose all tolerance for bs. - During that time, he would still have you tend to the child. Your treatment of the little one would determine if your punishment would be extended or shortened as well as the intensity of it. Of course, he wouldn't tell you of this - it would just be more fun for him to have you figure it out yourself. - Such an "event" could occur again and again during the life of your child, depending on your behaviour towards them. Family is something that Victor would take extremely seriously.

#yandere 2p hetalia #yandere 2p allies #yandere 2p russia #yandere 2p america #yandere 2p england #yandere 2p china #yandere 2p canada #yandere 2p france #x reader

[cinnamonest]

Thank you to that one anon in this post the other day for giving me the slightest bit of encouragement I needed to justify more jiejie content because I have been thinking about it so much, so I will go ahead and ramble on a bit more about it

I'm thinking about married life for poor big sis... Little sis is great but I especially love the big sister dynamic because of how different it is from the little sister/meimei one, because 1) she's fully aware of how fucked up everything is, 2) she's always viewed her brothers as annoying little pests rather than respectable authority figures, looks down on them rather than little sister who looks up to them, but is now forced to be obedient and submissive to them anyway, which is far more humiliating >:) -- While they don't exactly look up to her per se, there's still this sort of desperation for approval in a way only little siblings have, that isn't present with the little sister/meimei. Like, big sis is this figure that has always been older and more mature, that has often had a scowl towards them and is annoyed by them... They want to earn her love!

There's this bizarre duality of approaching you as a normal little sibling would, desperate for approval and recognition, yet a complete lack of respect. Like "big sis look at this thing I did aren't you impressed do you love me now... Oh and also get on your knees" -- the switch can, and often does, happen that fast. In many ways, your relationship remains sort of the same as it was... you just have a lot more responsibility added, now that you're obligated to fulfill their needs. It's like heaven for the boys... before they were so limited, only able to grope big sis in her sleep and spy on her naked, and to be able to go from that to having full permission to fuck her at any moment... it's surreal, and feels like a blessing.

You don't really remember the first few days, actually. You're fairly certain it's because you were in some state of shock or disbelief or something like that, and that's probably for the better that your only memories of the first night or so is just you not struggling too much -- you knew there was no point -- and that you were more or less mentally consumed by the sheet willpower to take it and alleviate your discomfort to the best of your ability. Not that you weren't still stretched out and sore for days on end... and not that that soreness excused you from needing to get right back to your responsibilities the next day.

If you thought things were bad before... it's infinitely worse now. See, for the average young man, once they've had a mere crumb of pussy in their lives, they tend to become addicted to it. It seems like each time in your life you think "I really can't get any time to myself!", fate seems to find a way to make it so much worse that you bitterly laugh at how you thought before was bad, and wish you could go back. This time is no different. There's more of an infatuation with them now. And they somehow become even more clingy, especially in the physical sense now, too. Before, they would trail you, always stand nearby, and you thought that was bad enough. There was still some hesitancy to get too close, afraid of annoying you. Now, they get touchy without hesitation, coming up and wrapping arms around you and resting their head on your shoulder.

Of course, you still get some respite when they're off with the knights, but those precious hours feel so short to you, it seems like they're barely gone before they're back again. The schedules overlap significantly, so in total about 6 hours, give or take the ten minutes the journey from the city to the estate takes. It always feels so much shorter, especially because you're still basically forced to perform tasks for their sake while they're gone. Sure, they're gone... but you're still cleaning up their clutter and washing their clothes and making their food so it doesn't really feel like much time to yourself at all.

But unlike they might have been with a younger sister, with big sis they're not as much taught to view her as some precious fragile thing that needs to be handled delicately. Nor does Father provide any instructions on how to fuck you properly -- he assumes you can do that much, right? Surely it can't be hard to teach them what they're supposed to do.

Unfortunately, it is. Something about the lack of blood to their brains in those moments must give them some memory issues, seeing as they seem to forget your instructions from previous sessions quite often. Primarily, all that stuff you said about timing and mood... They're not exactly... Flirtatious. Nothing quite like the romantic fantasies you've had, the love novels you read with leads that are charming and say all the right things that make you feel fuzzy inside just to read, or even some of the more witty and charming individuals you had a few dates with back before this all began.

No, you don't get any flirtatiousness or setup, it's more just a tap on the shoulder and questioning what you're doing. You eventually reach a point where you can tell based on their tone of voice, this way of asking "what are you doing?" or "hey, put that down for a second" that carries a very clear message of why they're approaching you. At least you can convince yourself that getting picked up and carried back to the bedroom (if that measure is taken, rather than just bending you over a surface) is somewhat like those romance novels.

Not that you even always get that much warning and decency, though.  Sometimes you're just getting cock shoved inside of you at random moments. They're young and horny and big sis is supposed to be the older sibling and thus the mature one here right? Which means you need to be patient and tolerant and receptive without any hesitation to propositions for sex at random times throughout the day. They have needs and they certainly cannot control when your services and functions are going to be necessary for him to go about his day.

Diluc's a lot worse about that, sometimes he doesn't say anything, he just sees big sis's thighs and ass while she's bending over the countertop or digging through a cabinet or something (and due to the no panties rule this means very visible exposed pussy, it's nonsensical to expect anyone to resist that). The primal brain takes over and thus he kinda doesn't think about what he's doing, his brain just says 'must breed' so he comes up behind you and shoves it in without so much as a warning. He still mumbles an apology when you yelp and clench, but now that he's already stuffed inside you it would be cruel for you to force him to pull out. Okay, there are times he has to, such as when he realizes you were working on food and have something on the stove, in which case he'll give you a moment to turn the heat off or move the container... then he can bend you back over the countertop. Cooking can wait, his need to drain his balls into his sister's womb cannot.

They continue to be little pests in every conceivable way. You get woken up repeatedly in the middle of the night from shifting and getting tugged this way or that. You're constantly being called from across the house while trying to complete this or that task, and then the moment you finally get to come back to it, there's another voice calling you from the other side of the house. Ugh.

Probably the most lamented aspect of it all, really, is what used to be your one source of solace in this nightmare of an existence: bathing. It was the one place you could be free for a little while, have some privacy, some time to yourself... and now you don't even have that. Showers and baths mean big sis is naked and who in their right mind would miss out on such a thing?? Granted, you still try, sneak off and strip down and enjoy maybe two or three minutes of warm water before footsteps wander in. How come you didn't tell him?? Well, he needs a bath too, so... thankfully the bathtub only fits two at maximum, so if the other one wants a bath with you he has to wait until tomorrow.

And speaking of things that only one at a time can do, because big sis is such a comforting, familiar presence, you sometimes bring out some childishness in them. They still have that immature desire to get big sis's praise and approval all the time and, more infuriatingly, to be the favorite. After all, you have to have a favorite, right? It was much more blatant when they were little, but even now you still pick up on this subtle tension, each one indirectly seeking affirmation that he is, in fact, the favorite. Or at least, the favorite for today. Seems to be a bit of a back-and-forth, which means each day is a struggle to hold said title. One day, one of them may do something that upsets you, which results in the other becoming noticeably happier (and more smug) for the next day (while the other seethes and sulks). 

Likewise, if one does something that makes you particularly happy, it's only a matter of hours, even minutes, before the other comes along with some gift or act of labor or impressive thing to try and outdo the first.

On the bright side, you can manipulate them with this, which is part of why you pretend not to notice and generally don't call them out on their rather childish need to outdo each other. You can pit them against each other and utilize jealousy to get them to do what you want. At some point you told them separately that 'well, *he* takes it nice and slow, and I like it better that way... why can't you be like that too?' and, even though it was a massive lie regarding both at the time, that's how you convinced them to actually invest in foreplay, which saves you some soreness at the very least.

You just try to save your energy for when you need it around them, but then, the worst possible scenario you could imagine becomes a reality: they get put on completely different schedules.

Meaning they will working at different times.

Meaning one of them will always be there.

The wonderous 6 hours or so you had before has vanished and life has officially become hell.

Diluc tends to prefer night shifts, so you're stuck with him during the day. Because he gets back in the early hours of the morning, he tends to wake you up shifting into bed, and due to the timing (and because he's a guy who needs his sleep or he'll be grouchy), he sleeps until noon-ish. Yet, Kaeya wakes up around 9 in the morning and has to leave, so you have to be up when that happens because how is he supposed to eat if you don't make him food?? And how is he supposed to have a good day without getting the necessary have-a-good-day sendoff kisses before leaving? So you need to be up at that time, but you also need to be ready around noon, too.

You learn to time it perfectly as the days go on, because on one hand, Diluc wakes up hungry and needs food, but on the other hand, waking up by himself to an empty bed with no sister to cuddle is less than ideal. Thankfully most days the maids can just bring you food so that you get more sleep, even though you sometimes have to convince them to keep helping you.

And speaking of them, you don't have anyone else to complain to, so you rant and whine and complain to the maids... you don't blame them for their lack of response. You know they'd get in trouble if they encouraged you, so it's no wonder they just nod and say dodgy things like I'm sorry you feel that way or I hope you feel better about it soon... they're your only outlet, though. And your Father? Hah, any complaints about what's being done to you turns into a lecture on how you shouldn't be so harsh, so many people would be so glad to have brothers who love them so much, your stubbornness is the only thing preventing you from being perfectly happy, blah blah. Talking to him just leaves you more upset.

That being said, to your dismay, your Father does become an intrusive figure in your sex life, if you can call it that.

  It's horrifically embarrassing and awkward. While you're still the primary figure responsible for teaching, he just wants to ensure that his boys are getting the maximum usage value out of what has been given to them. After all, it would be a shame if there was some function of yours going unused and unenjoyed! They'd be missing out, and that can't stand. Especially because he realizes you might be inclined to, selfishly, not share helpful information, or even misinform them.

Which, to no one's surprise, it turns out you did. He's disappointed, but not shocked. You've been lying to avoid things you don't want to do. In particular, you've gone out of your way to try and avoid sucking cock -- you said it's bad for your health to swallow, said your throat still hurts even a week after the last time, and they don't really know any better, being as sweet and loving as they are, so they assume you're telling the truth. You also said something to the effect of that it's bad for their health to cum so many times they're shooting blanks, so they start stopping earlier in the day and not reaching that point which saves you somewhere around 3-4 'sessions' a day. Thankfully, Father is there to catch your lies and dispel both of those misconceptions.

You just have to be trained. And he's easily able to provide you with that. In fact, you need to have dedicated sessions to do so, getting throatfucked on a daily basis to train your gag reflex. Start off fairly gentle, so he says, they can increase intensity with time.

And they need to not be deterred, nor show weakness, when you gag and try to jerk your head back -- that's instinct, he says, of which getting rid of that is the entire purpose of said training. So, while they can feel bad for you when your eyes water and you whimper, the best course of action to take in that situation is just to give you some words of encouragement, but absolutely do not let you pull your head back before you've had your throat stuffed the designated amount of time, or you'll never get adjusted, and we can't have that now can we?

  It's also probably best to tag-team said training -- you try to grab at their thighs and push as hard as you can, but again, that's just instinct, so your Father says, they need to just ignore that. Either the other needs to hold your arms behind your back, or, if there's only one there at the time, just tie your arms up before starting. There's also a best way to hold your head -- here, like this, watch, thumbs on the temples, two fingers above her ears, the other two wrapped around her jaw, then jerk her head back and forth like this...

Which brings us to the fact that, yes, it's only a matter of time before your Father fucks you too. For instructional and training purposes, of course. Someone has to show them how it's done. And even when neither of your brothers is around, you can be the one receiving instruction on how to improve. No, no, stick your tongue out a little more, you want to focus the sucking motion with your cheeks, not the roof of your mouth. Arch your back here, not like that, this way raises your hips up better and makes it easier... no, no, see, when he fucks into you from behind, your whole body rocks back and forth with the motion, try planting your feet more firmly and bending ever so slightly so your knees are against the desk, that way each thrust slams into you without lurching you forward, makes it more intense for both parties. Besides, his advice makes things easier and feel better for you too. See, you don't have to crane your neck with each bob of your head if you just tilt it like this, much easier right?

Not that making you feel good isn't also important. That's the trick to getting you fully trained, you have to have a sort of rewards system in place. Besides, your brothers like it too. They're actually rather fascinated by it, it's something new and exciting, just like getting to explore your body in the first place. Look at how big sis clenches and trembles when you touch her here or there, it's so mesmerizing to watch.

...But in particular, there's something very satisfying about big sis being very very mean, saying nasty things and getting an attitude, and watching her melt in pleasure. That's a very useful tactic Father taught them directly, for whenever she's fuming mad and chewing them out, being very loud and improper and ranting. When you first bend her over or lay her down and open her legs, she gets even more upset -- are you serious?! I'm not done talking! You -- you -- stop, no-- no, no, don't you fucking DARE-- and cuts off with this cute yelping sound when you shove it in. 

The way her voice goes from low and snarling to these high-pitched little cries when you move, the way her face goes from all contorted with anger, to eyes going wide when it goes in, and finally to that look of pleasure where her eyes roll back and she whimpers -- it's euphoric. Besides, afterwards they can watch her go about her tasks with that occasional little shiver she does whenever cum leaks out and runs down her thigh.

There is one more issue, though, speaking of your reactions. You used to at least try to masturbate while they would be gone for the day. You still do, at least at first. But there's an issue. See, they do get days off. And there is a very distinct difference in sex with big sis on those days, they think... she cums a lot easier when they have a day off. As much as she seems to fight it and writhe away... well, it's okay, because one can hold her down while the other works her to orgasm, so it works out. But she still cums... that is, when they're with her all day. But on the days when they have work and come back, it seems like big sis doesn't cum so easily.

There's really only one explanation for this: she's been doing it to herself on her own time. She's having so many orgasms that, by the time they get back, she can't have many more for them! And to be honest, part of you does do it out of spite too... but it backfires when they find a way to deal with it by, as usual, being annoying little siblings that snitch to Father and ask him how to handle this grave situation. It's a pretty big offense, you know, and thankfully Father agrees that it's intolerable behavior. Knowing you, though, he says with a sigh, there's no point in simply making a rule, because you won't follow it, that's just how you are, you've proven time and time again that you don't listen to the rules. So, other measures will be necessary.

It's not the weirdest request poor Wagner has ever gotten, but it's certainly up there... he doesn't question it though. It's easy, since it's all leather, but soon your Father comes back with a nice little belt... it's shaped sort of like underwear, made to loop around your hips and under your cunt and fastens nice and snug to make absolutely sure you can't touch yourself. Wow, you sure have some spirit left in you, it's been a while since you fought something this hard. It takes all three people to force it onto you -- you more or less snap and lose whatever little dignity and pride you had left, and more or less thrash and kick and squeal and beg because the absolute last thing in this world left keeping you sane is the sweet relief and catharsis of daily orgasms and you'll be damned if you're forced to depend on those two brats for that too.

But you will be, alas, it gets secured in place anyway, so from now on, if you want to cum, you're not going to be the one causing it. They'll gladly help you out whenever you want though! Your father is rather upset with you about the whole incident though, pulls you aside for a while because what was that display just now?? He expects better from you, you're being a terrible influence by acting so immature.

Really, you ought to work on controlling your emotions a little better... after all, you're supposed to teach self-control through example. And if the example you're presenting is a complete lack of-self control, then that will just encourage them to have no self-control either... and you probably won't like what that means.

#jiejie can't catch a break rip 😔 #more to come eventually #.jiejie #in.tg

[tailoredshirt]

Tagged by @paper-storm for WIP Wednesday. I don’t usually gave enough coherent material to make it worthwhile, but here’s a snippet of the fluff/smut one-shot I’m currently fighting with. (Snippet is just fluff, no smut.)

And I don’t know who to tag! @cinnaluminum @punkrockgirlalmighty @detective-giggles @bubblesandroses8 or lmk if you’ve already posted.

"So you're gonna love this. Nancy is trying to organize a trip to Vegas for a joint bachelor party."

Carlos tugs the clean tank top over his head and looks over at TK, who is sitting in bed, propped up against the headboard. "Let me guess. Marjan and Mateo are already on board."

"Uh huh. And she keeps sending me pictures of weird hotel rooms?" TK holds up his phone so Carlos can see it.

Carlos squints. "Is that a bowling lane next to the kitchen?"

"Kinda cool, right?" TK says, smiling. "But probably ridiculously expensive."

Carlos plugs his phone into the charger and climbs into bed next to him. "The only wedding related text I got today was from your dad asking if I wanted to try a vegan Mexican place he found that does catering."

"Hmm," TK says, pressing his lips together to smother a smile.

Carlos turns off the lamp. "Yeah. You're going with us."

TK closes the distance between them with a kiss. "Deal."

Carlos settles his hand on TK's hip as his eyes adjust to the darkness. They're in the guest room, which doesn't look that much different than it did fifteen years ago, except that his mom replaced Carlos's baseball posters and Astros 2005 World Series pennant with framed pictures of his cousins. TK has stayed over several times, but having the man he loves sleeping next to him in his childhood bedroom still feels a bit surreal.

"What are you thinking about?" TK asks quietly, smoothing a thumb over Carlos's eyebrow.

"You," Carlos says, sliding his hand up TK's waist to pull him closer. "How was your shift?"

"Fine. Busy. Couldn’t wait to get over here to see you.”

Carlos’s heart flip-flops the way it always does when TK says something sweet. It feels like they’ve been in their honeymoon period for years now, minus the breakup. TK still drives him crazy with love and lust, and it’s nice to know that TK feels the same.

“Me too,” Carlos says, leaning forward to kiss him. “I missed you this week.”

“No more overtime,” TK says, poking him in the stomach. Carlos grabs his hand and holds it to his chest.

“You will be pleased to know that Jackson will be back from paternity leave next week.”

“Thank god!” TK says dramatically, and Carlos rolls his eyes. “Sorry, I’m sure that sucks for him and his wife, but I just want my husband back—” He presses his lips together, eyes widening, and smothers his mouth with his free hand.

“Did you just—” Carlos gently tugs on TK’s wrist to pry his hand away from his mouth. “You just called me your husband.”

“Shut up,” TK says, smiling so wide he can barely talk. “We’re getting married in two months.”

“And you’re already calling me your husband,” Carlos says, sneaking an arm around TK’s waist to pull him closer.

“Just want you to get used to it,” TK whispers, licking his lips before he kisses him.

#911 lone star #tarlos #wip wednesday

[jonathantaylorthomas]

OK, Swifties. You liked the fairytale fictions and indie-cred boast of Taylor Swift’s pandemic alt-folk records. But you’ve been yearning for the intimacy you felt when she knocked out those confessional bangers, haven’t you? Well, the wait is over. Playing Midnights will make you feel as though you’re sleeping over at her house while she spills secrets and settles scores into the night. Over a series of murky electronic grooves (mostly co-written with Jack Antonoff), the pop star unpacks her darkest dreams, deepest doubts and cruellest thoughts. All the while she keeps things just cryptic enough to keep the tension crackling and the speculation buzzing.

That said, she’s already stopped speculation about the opening track, “Lavender Haze”. “Gaylor” fans who’ve stuck (rather doggedly) to a queer reading of Swift had hoped that the song might be a coming-out track because of the colour’s long association with gay culture. But in an Instagram post, Swift explained that she had happened upon the phrase while watching Mad Men and found it was vintage slang for a dreamy love glow. Against the throb of a synth bass, she appears to be addressing the misogynistic media obsession with whether or not she’s marrying actor boyfriend Joe Alwyn, with whom she’s been settled since 2016. “All they keep asking me / Is if I’m gonna be your bride / The only kinda girl they see / Is a one night or a bride” she notes (you can hear the eye-roll). But as the vocal layers build, she shakes off the judgement effortlessly: “Talk your talk and go viral / I just need this love to spiral.”

The slower, grimier texture of “Maroon” is a dive back into a past relationship (place your bets). Describing the affair, Swift sings of it decaying from the initial pink of cheap rosé to the “rust that grew between telephones”.

She’s on her best, self-scrutinising storytelling form on the excellent “Anti-Hero”, which lyrically sends zinger after zinger bubbling up through the fuzz of distortion. She unpicks the unwieldiness of her stardom with terrific, surreal imagery. “Sometimes I feel like everyone is a sexy baby / And I’m the monster on the hill / Too big to hang out / Slowly lurching towards your city / Pierced through the heart but never killed.” She skewers her acts of public kindness, too: “Did you hear my covert narcissism / I disguise as altruism / Like some kind of congressman?”

Things get funnier as the singer, whose fortune is estimated at around $750m, slur-growls: “I have this dream my daughter-in-law kills me for the money / She thinks I left them in the will / The family gathers round and reads it / And then someone screams out ‘She’s laughing up at us from hell!’” Swift lays into her “niceness” again on the poppier swell of “Bejewelled”, on which she warns a guy that she has the capacity to light up rooms (and all the boys in the band) if he doesn’t pay more attention.

“You’re on Your Own, Kid” digs into a catchy-cute guitar melody – flecked with pretty pings that echo her early pop – as Swift looks back on the days when she sang her songs in the parking lot. Lines about starving her body, hoping for the perfect kiss, are a nod to her Romeo and Juliet teen dreams. This sweetness is balanced by the vocal distortions and rhythmic lurches of “Midnight Rain”, on which Swift revels in her role as a heartbreaker. By the time she gets to noirish rap “Vigilante S**t”, she’s relishing her shadow-self, ripping into a cheating lover. “I don’t dress for women / I don’t dress for men,” goes her predatory purr. “Lately, I’ve been dressing for revenge.” As ever, Swift drops just enough filmic detail to conjure a scene: an envelope handed to a wife who’s now driving her ex’s Benz. And there’s some classy-sharp wordplay about the guy who was “doing lines/ and crossing all of mine”. Through it all, the low vibration of the synth is stalked by the treble rattle of a snare drum. The effect is of a woman in stilettos hunting a shadow.

There’s been some excitement online about the teased track “Karma”. Many thought it would address her spat with Kanye West, and that it might have been taken from an album lost during that time. But the swipes at a “spiderboy, king of thieves” waving a “web of opacity” would suggest it’s about her ex, Spider-Man star Jake Gyllenhaal (who famously dumped her by text, breaking her heart and inspiring the album Red which she recently re-recorded). The album ends with “Mastermind”, which seems to be about Alwyn again – and includes a confession that, like “all wise women”, she engineered some aspects of their romance. “I’m only cryptic and Machiavellian because I care…” Ha.

The subtle melodies of Midnights take time to sink their claws in. But Swift’s feline vocal stealth and assured lyrical control ensures she keeps your attention. Turn the lights off and let these songs prowl around you. Just don’t expect their meanings to settle too biddably into your lap. Swift’s always as elusive as she is allusive.

[edmchu123]

Said I was gonna post everyday over break but have yet to post so here’s an update. Day after I got back home I flew to Japan but had a layover in Taiwan first. Coincidentally I was on the same flight as Katerina cuz she was also going to Taiwan. Flew a total of about 18 hours and then finally landed in Japan at 9 AM. I’ve been sleeping everyday at around 9 PM naturally and waking up at 8 AM and don’t know why I’m so tired now. I feel like I shouldn’t be jet lagged cause I landed in the morning and slept like the whole flight. Anyways I’ve just been here in Japan chillin and eating great food. The wagyu and curry here is so bomb and cheap and I could literally eat it everyday. It’s also so nice and snowy here, and my first time witnessing snow so it’s very surreal. Maybe I will consider the east coast in the future? I made a snow Angel and also had a snowball fight with my brothers which was very fun. Have yet to make a snowman but maybe I’ll do that at retreat (considering I finish my HAPY article). That’s it for the update hope you guys are having an amazing break I miss all of you and can’t wait to see you guys when we get back <3.

[luneevenfall]

Camp nano day 9

I always keep writing like, until 10-15 minutes before midnight and go "OH CRAP I HAVE TO UPDATE ON NANO OR IT'LL BE COUNTED AS TOMORROW!" lol

so anyways, a little lower but still 7k today! I'm at the point of the story where shit is easy to write (lots to do lots to see)

I'm not even sure what scene to do for this one, but since I've been pretty consistently posting lesbicious longing I decided that this will just be my theme. That or lesbicious suffering!

“Hina, are you alright?” “Hm, what do you mean?” Hina questioned as she tilted her head. “You’ve just been kinda… quiet since we left the ramen place.” “Oh, that?” Hina waved her free hand at Ayumu dismissively. “It’s nothing, I’m just a bit tired.” It was something. She wanted to ask about her birthday. Was she really going to be so much of a coward that she’d delegate that to asking over texts? It’d be so much better if she asked in person. “If… if you say so. If there is anything, don’t feel afraid to speak up.” Ayumu reassured her, reaching her free arm over to pat Hina’s head on top of the cap; it was a bit awkward with the way they were walking, but she appreciated the gesture nonetheless, cozying up to Ayumu the whole way. “Don’t worry, it’s… really nothing. I’m… really happy we did this. Even if it was a bit silly.” Hina couldn’t help but smile timidly as she looked down at their feet, down their bodies, still pretty amused at what she saw. “It was pretty dumb. But hey, I actually kinda like this outfit. I’m keeping it.” Hina was incredibly happy to hear it. “What about you?” “I’ll keep it. Though I still do think I look like a kid trying to be cool and failing.” Hina couldn’t help but laugh at herself as she looked down her body; it just felt a little surreal. “Trust me, you don’t look like that at all.” Ayumu looked towards the night sky, refusing to face her. “In fact, if I didn’t know better, I’d think you wore stuff like this all the time. You look like a model.” Hina blushed, unable to form a good reply to something like that, instead moving her hand down Ayumu’s arm to hold onto her hand, locking their fingers together. There was no hesitation and neither of them made any move to stop it. Touching each other had become entirely too natural. Surely, they just looked like friends to most others, especially right now; no one would see two girls holding hands and find anything strange by it. That’s what she told herself, at least. That this was still just “friendship”. She sighed to herself ever softly, but Ayumu seemed to notice, holding her hand a little tighter. “Are you… really sure you’re ok?” “Yes… I’m fine. Sorry. I think I just need to get back and sleep.” They had been stalling this entire time, but finally they arrived at the station. Well, perhaps it wasn’t “finally” in her mind, but “already”. How splendid it wouldn’t be for them to just spend an eternity, just the two of them, with nothing else in the way. If such a world existed, perhaps right now, they would call each other more than friends.

And yet, the world was not so simple, for they had expectations put onto them. There were restrictions that they followed. If they had not been idols, would it have been different? The train was surprisingly empty, and it was mostly just the two of them; Hina was mostly left alone with her thoughts as they sat down in the seats, leaning on each other. All that kept her company in her reverie was the rustling sound of the train on the rails, and the warmth of Ayumu’s shoulder against hers. She watched the night sky through the windows across the aisle, as the scenery passed them by. Ayumu’s hand never left hers, even as they got up to leave the train, only briefly parting to walk out through the ticket gates on the other end. They walked until they came upon that familiar intersection. Hina stood still for a moment, shuffling on her feet, not wanting to let go of Ayumu’s hand. “It’s late.” Ayumu finally spoke up, as if drawing attention to the fact that they were just standing there without letting go of each other. “Mhmm.” Hina hummed in response, turning her gaze down to look at their hands. “We… should really go home…” “… Yeah.” Ayumu finally let go, albeit very slowly. Hina felt a little lonely, even though she knew that they had to. The urge to ask to go to her house was huge; if she did, what would happen? Instead, she watched as Ayumu turned around; her silhouette looked beautiful in the moonlight, the new outfit enhancing her slender frame. “Goodnight, Ayumu.” “Goodnight. I’ll see you… at practice.” Hina watched her go, until she turned the corner; that was when Hina finally pulled the jacket around her body, feeling the cold seeping in as she made her way back home. If only she had even the smallest little smidgen of courage in her body, she would’ve probably had the ability to move forward with this relationship. Instead of that, however, she walked this path home. Alone.

Oh, the miseryyyyy

I think tumblr found the excerpt too long so I had to split the indentation pls don't look at it too hard

#my ocs #original character #oc #sapphics #sapphic #camp nano july 2023 #lesbian #camp nanowrimo #this is getting painful #50k words baybee #my writing #the urge to make them kiss is HUGE #lgbtq+

[uptoolateart]

All the Missing Pieces

Chapter 18 now posted:

Marinette answered on the second ring. ‘Adrien. I can’t believe it’s you!’ She appeared to be on a sofa, and she was even more beautiful than the images he carried in his memory, which often soothed him into sleep at night in the sparse room he shared with Felix. Bunkbeds, as if they were children – an experience they’d never shared when they were younger.

‘It’s so good to see you again,’ he said, his heart throbbing and one thought circling his mind: You could just go home. Except, he couldn’t. Someday – but not yet.

‘Are you okay? You look…well, sunburnt. Have you been spending all your time at the beach or something?’

‘Gardening. You see all the land they have here?’ He turned the phone around to give a 360 view of the ‘back garden’ where he was sitting at the wrought-iron table.

‘It’s a little dark.’

‘Okay, well. We spend a lot of time out here. It’s kind of a meditative thing. I’ve got really into it. It feels like I’m giving back, after, you know, burning half the garden at the mansion. The monks are teaching me how to brew my own tea, too. Like a mindfulness exercise.’

‘O…kay.’ She shifted on the sofa, a level of luxury he’d started to forget existed.

‘Master Fu never did anything like that with you?’

‘Well, I mean…he made me tea, sure, but um…no, he…he never did anything like that with me.’

‘Is it just me or do I detect some actual jealousy in your voice?’ he teased.

She rolled her eyes. ‘It’s not jealousy. Just…it’s a little surreal, me being the Guardian but you being the one actually living with the Order of the Guardians.’

‘Maybe you should try a retreat like this sometime.’ He suppressed a laugh at the thought of how freaked out the monks would be at a beautiful woman – the most beautiful woman – suddenly coming to stay with them.

‘Right. I’ll schedule that in, shall I? I’m sure Regine won’t mind me disappearing for a month.’

Adrien grinned. ‘Is she tough?’

‘Like you wouldn’t believe. I knew an internship like this would be hard work, but that woman is demanding. There is a difference between a Personal Assistant and a slave, isn’t there? I mean…no one’s told her that, but…surely….’

Now he was laughing. ‘You could just use my connections to –’

‘No. We’ve been over this. When I succeed, I want it to be because I was good enough, not because I know Adrien Agreste. You need to do your thing right now and I need to do mine.’

He definitely understood that. ‘Well, I’m sure you’re doing amazingly. Have you managed to show anyone your work yet?’

‘Oh yes. There’s this man who delivers the post. I’m sure that’ll launch my career.’

‘You never know. He might be best friends with the head of costuming on some TV show.’

She sighed. ‘I know. I try not to get carried away by fantasies, but I confess those kinds of dreams fill my head all day.’

Playfulness crept into his voice. ‘Just those kinds of dreams?’

Keeping reading at Ao3

#ml fic #mlb fic #ml au #mlb au #ml aged up #mlb aged up #married adrinette #adrinette #adrienette #miraculous fanworks #ml adrien #ml marinette #ml felix #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #felix fathom

[brainrattlers]

Play It Cool - Tyson Jost (17/n)

Author’s Notes: I dragged my heels on this chapter so hard - I’ve dreaded writing this chapter for literally MONTHS. It dredges up a lot of feelings from March with *the trade*. I’m wishing I could write the next chapter right now, but it’s hell week at work and I’m pulling double-duty as my coworker is out with COVID at the moment - and it’s nearing 2:30am so I should probably get some sleep before I tackle chapter 18. 

Pairing: Tyson Jost x OFC (AJ)

Warnings: Language. Angst. (It’ll get better I promise!) There are a lot of feels going on, especially with the trade. Typos. I’m fixing them when I edit after a few hours of sleep.

Word Count: 5128. Yep, LONG CHAPTER.

Chapter 16 can be found at https://brainrattlers.tumblr.com/post/692092027971796992/play-it-cool-tyson-jost-16n-authors-notes

At this point, Tyson was getting used to navigating life with limited use of his mouth, and a lot of protein shakes that first week after his major mouth surgery to repair a broken jaw and to save his teeth that took the brunt of the puck to the mouth in the Calgary game. He was longing for food that he could chew, but was still under orders to avoid things that were anything more than “soft.” 

AJ was the doting girlfriend, trying to make foods that were high enough in protein (that weren’t just protein shakes) but tasted other than vanilla, chocolate and banana. Smoothies were concocted to give some variety of flavors, but still trying to hit his necessary nutrition needs. Tyson honestly looked a few pounds lighter by the end of the week, and it made her nervous seeing him that way. 

Through it all though, Tyson continued practicing and playing. The following week found the team playing Calgary yet again on March 13th. AJ put in for another vacation day on the 14th, Tyson’s birthday.

However there was something that was eating at her though, and shouldn’t quite put her finger on it, but AJ absolutely felt the need to be at the game that Sunday.

Not surprising was AJ at the glass in 120 during warmups, holding yet another sign.

Hey Tyson, birthday milkshakes after the game? My treat!

Upon seeing the sign, he swung around to AJ by the glass, attempted to kiss the knuckles of his glove but instead forgot that the fishbowl was there, and didn’t quite make the connection with his lips he hoped for. The two beamed at each other through the glass as they fistbumped as per tradition. 

The big surprise though was Alan Roach’s booming voice over the PA system announcing the starters for the night.

“STARTING AT CENTER, FROM ST. ALBERT, CANADA… TYYYYYSONNNNN JOST!”

It was rare that Tyson was a starter, but you would not believe how loud AJ cheered when hearing that declaration. His ice time had been diminished so much in the last few games, that it seemed surreal he was starting. But AJ was on her feet, screaming as much as her heart and lungs would let her. 

Tyson did a small lap before taking his rightful spot in the center of the lineup, eye contact and a big smile shared with AJ. But there was still something that didn’t sit right in AJ’s stomach by this. It wasn’t a big matchup though, so neither team started their big guns. She tried to play the nerves off though.

Was a relatively quiet game for Tyson, despite wearing a fishbowl and still checking a few guys from the Flames. In fact, it made AJ cringe seeing Tyson take on Big Z at center ice, checking him into the boards. Zadorov, despite being a former Avalanche player, is not one you really want to hit. The man is nicknamed “Big Z” for a reason. But Tyson did it anyway, and no doubt AJ cheered with the collision.

The Avs pulled out a 3-2 win, with Nate scoring two of the goals, Mikko the other. It may not have been Tyson scoring points, but AJ still cheered for her friends in the win. AJ waited in the hall for Tyson to get cleaned up and to head back to his place. The two had made plans to celebrate Tyson’s birthday with breakfast before practice, as the team was heading to the airport after to head to Los Angeles.

AJ made Tyson’s favorite, waffles (although homemade and not Eggos, which he was instantly in love with) with bananas, almond butter, and a bit of maple syrup, and a few strips of bacon (that was more for her than him, but she wasn’t going to tell him that). The two talked about their upcoming week, and what they hoped to accomplish, in between bites. AJ felt bad though, she didn’t have a present for Tyson yet, but he was okay with that. In his eyes, waffles and bacon were enough for him - he had everything he wanted in AJ.

Tyson reluctantly went to practice, but not before making out (lightly) with his girlfriend just a touch before getting in his car to head out.

Letting him have a good 10 minute head start, AJ then followed Tyson to practice, meeting up with Jess. Thankfully there was still drop-in hockey going on that morning, and the team hadn’t taken the ice on either rink at the practice facility. The two sat there chatting over oatmilk lattes from Starbucks across the street which Jess graciously snagged for both before arriving. 

The target was walking around the Avalanche rink and was going to go over to the Hamilton rink to work with the goalies early before the rest of the team took the ice. Both AJ and Jess leaned over the railing as Tyson was shuffling by. It was as if Jess and AJ telepathically counted down, and exclaimed…

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TYSON!”

Tyson looked up with a big smile. “Thank you very much, ladies!” 

That smile stuck with him for most of practice. It was a relatively short practice as the flight was leaving at 2:10, but AJ didn’t get any time with Tyson after. He snuck out the other exit at the practice facility as a number of people were there looking to get autographs. He did text from the airport though, apologizing for not stopping but also was avoiding a couple of the autograph seekers - he had spied one that had been pestering him a LOT lately to sign a handful of things each time. It was becoming an issue with a lot of the players, and they were starting to just simply not stop to sign autographs unless they were really feeling it. Today, Tyson just wasn’t. His heart hurt that he wasn’t getting to spend the rest of his birthday with his family or AJ. But it was part of the job.

Unfortunately, that gnawing feeling AJ had in her stomach was worse as she and Tyson texted back and forth. He sent a photo of a pie that the Avs socials team got him for Pi Day/his birthday. Bonus was that he was just starting to get to have soft foods again. The text exchange was fine, but it was just a feeling she couldn’t shake. And to be fair, she’d been feeling it for a few weeks, but definitely didn’t want to say anything.

And before you think the worst, no, she wasn’t wanting to break up with him. That was the furthest thing from what he anxiety was.

The plane was taking off, and Tyson sent his typical, “Text you when I land. Love you baby.”

The afternoon was spent with Jess and AJ hitting up the mall in Cherry Creek. They might have raided Lolli & Pop, getting various candy. But seeing the Coffee Crisp bars just made AJ think of Tyson. He would always give her shit for liking such “a terrible candy bar.” But every few weeks, a package would arrive from either his mom or grandparents, and there would always be a bar in the box with a tag to make sure to give to AJ. They even questioned her taste in candy, but hey, different strokes and all that.

With the plane on the ground in California, both AJ and Jess received texts right around the same time from their respective partners. 

Tyson: On the ground. Miss you so much already, this isn’t how I imagined spending my birthday, missing you. I didn’t even think that last year on my birthday I’d be missing someone so much on my next one.

AJ: I miss you too baby. Make sure you call your family, I’m sure they miss you too. I at least got to eat breakfast with you this morning.

Tyson: And surprise me at practice. Tell Jess I said hi? 

AJ grabbed Jess, taking a selfie together, waving in the photo and sent to Tyson.

Tyson: Are you at Lolli & Pops? Don’t tell me you bought more Coffee Crisp.

AJ: >.> Maybe I did.

Tyson: Remind me why I love you? That candy is awful.

AJ: I could list a lot of reasons, but I’m betting you’re probably almost to the hotel. Call tonight?

Tyson: Of course. Gotta call mom and the grandparents first, but you know I always want to talk to you right before I fall asleep.

AJ: Love you Maple Syrup Man.

Tyson: Love you Eggo. Talk to you tonight.

AJ rejoined Jess as they finished doing some laps around the mall, looking at shoes that Jess was eyeing, and AJ popped in MAC to snag some mascara. Finally after dinner and a few drinks they called it a night - both were expecting phone calls shortly after. 

The guys would be out for dinner somewhere and then likely just head back to the hotel, even though a majority would probably be out a little longer. Nate was always early to bed regardless. This time last season, Tyson would have been out with a few teammates, probably finding an eager woman at a bar to get into a little mischief with… but since AJ, the allure was not there. He just wanted to hear her voice when he couldn’t curl up with her at night.

Finding her pajamas, AJ crawled into bed. Maple the Bear was in Tyson’s spot, wearing an old tee she might have borrowed from Tyson’s closet (much like Tyson would borrow her hoodies).  Tyson left some of his aftershave in his drawer at her apartment, and AJ was known to dab a little onto what would be Maple’s pulse points (if you can imagine what the giant teddy bear equivalent would be comparatively). She sighed as she rested her head on Maple’s chest, taking in the scent of Tyson still on the pillow underneath the bear.

The buzzing of AJ’s phone snapped her back into the moment. It wasn’t a call though, Tyson was calling through Facetime. Quickly she tried to look somewhat presentable leaning up against Maple.

“Hey baby! Is… that Maple behind you?”

“Yeah, wasn’t that the point of Maple? You told me to curl up with him when you weren’t here… don’t tell me you’re jealous of your own gift spooning me.” AJ laughed. 

But Tyson could see something was amiss, the laugh and the eye crinkles she normally sported while smiling weren’t matching up. He sighed.

“Something’s been up with you the last two weeks or so. You going to tell me?”

AJ hated the fact that she was an open book to Tyson. Or maybe she didn’t hate that. She loved the fact that he was the only one that managed to pick up on her vibe being off, or at least called her out on it at some point. 

It was AJ’s turn to sigh. So much for playing it cool.

“I don’t want to talk about this, especially when it’s still your birthday,” AJ quickly changed the subject. “How is the family?”

“They’re good, but you’re not getting out of this original conversation. What is wrong? You know you can tell me anything.”

She swallowed hard before thinking about how to even word what was on her mind. “You remember the conversations we had like a month ago… about the trade rumors? I… I’m just not feeling good about this. The deadline is coming up fast and… I…”

AJ stopped herself before she started crying. What most everyone around her had no idea about was that she was trying to keep the worried thoughts pushed down, but it got to the point where they’d bubble to the surface and panic attacks set in. Even just the night before, before AJ left for the game, she threw up from making herself worry. She knew it wasn’t healthy. And even then, AJ would kick herself and tell herself she was being stupid about this - it was Tyson’s job, and as he said, “part of the business.” But then more negative thoughts crept in, like “what if he moves, and finds someone else? Someone blonde, size 0… all the things I’m not but he wants.”

Being a video call, there was no hiding the emotions brewing behind AJ’s thinly veiled facade. 

“Damn it, I wish I could hold you right now.”

AJ huffed out a chuckle.

Tyson didn’t take offense to it. He knew one of her mantras had always been “it’s better to laugh than it is to cry.” He could see AJ not making “eye contact” with him, and it was making him wince a little too. 

“I mean it baby, I should have just dragged you here with me. If you take one thing away from this phone call tonight, please know that if I go somewhere else, that changes nothing between you and I. If I had my choice, you’d just move with me. I know it’s only been five months, but… you’re one of the best things I’ve got in my life.”

Tyson had never admitted his feelings were that intense. They always had said that he would hope she would come along but never wanted to push that - if Denver was home, they’d just make it work. But this time, he came forward with his feelings. AJ could see Tyson’s eyes were glassy through her tiny phone screen. 

AJ let out a breath she didn’t even realize she was holding, and the tears started falling silently. “Damn it, I wish I was there so you could hold me. I don’t even know what to say right now, Tyson.”

Both of them laughed, wiping their eyes. They sat in silence for a few moments, letting it sink in. AJ was still processing the words Tyson told her, hitting just how much he cared for her. The beauty in this was that Tyson was not expecting to a) tell her that, but even better was that b) he wasn’t expecting anything in return. He played his hand, and knew it probably was a lot to digest, considering he wasn’t even quite ready to say that. But his heart was, so he didn’t even give his brain a chance to intervene. The payoff was seeing the dark cloud that was shading the woman on his phone screen was lifting, metaphorically at least. The smile that broke through when she wiped her eyes again made it all worth it to him.

He was the one to break the silence though.

“And yeah, I am a little jealous of Maple. Don’t be making moves on my lady, Maple. Wait, is that my shirt? First he’s trying to steal my woman, and now he’s also wearing my clothes?!”

AJ laughed, and the eye crinkles returned, even if her cheeks were still damp.

Tyson’s heart was bursting seeing this.

Unfortunately having to go back to work the next day, AJ had to be the one to say she needed to head to bed soon. The two did the stereotypical “NO YOU HANG UP” business, and they finally did after telling each other to have sweet dreams, and how much they loved each other. 

AJ pulled Maple’s arms around her, and curled up into the sheets. 

Tyson pulled one of AJ’s hoodies from his bag, and put it on before hopping into bed himself.

Tuesday was much like most first days back at work after a few days off - lots of fumbling around and finding your groove. AJ was working on a few laptops, and got a text from Tyson nearing her morning break time - he was waking up and getting some breakfast before morning skate at the arena. 

Tyson: Hope you’re having a good one (kissing emoji) Hope work goes fast!

AJ: Rough morning, but getting better. Lunch can’t get here fast enough. Talk to you after the game?

Tyson: you know it.

AJ: (heart emoji)

It wouldn’t even be two hours later until that nagging feeling AJ was having proved to be a gut feeling coming to fruition. Sitting there eating her lunch and watching some Tiktoks that Jess had sent, suddenly AJ’s phone was blowing up.

Mel: Are you okay?

AJ: What are you e…

AJ didn’t even get to finish her text when three more came in, one from Jess, one from another friend, and then Tyson’s name flashed on her notifications.

Tyson: Baby, call me when you can ASAP.

That feeling of needing to throw up hit like a ton of bricks. 

Mel: If you need to talk, you know I’m here.

Jess: HOLY FUCK 

Kennedy: AJ I am so sorry

Nate: What the hell is going on? Do you know anything?

All AJ could glean from the constant influx of texts and DMs is that Tyson had been traded… to Minnesota. The enemy. (Well, one of.)

AJ’s hands shook as she tried to call Tyson per his request. Unfortunately it went straight to voicemail. She tried again, and the same thing happened. All she could think was that he was making a lot of phone calls, and fast. And probably was getting thrashed with calls too. 

Thankfully a few moments later Tyson’s image appeared on her phone’s caller ID. She was barely able to slide the icon to answer.

“Baby, I’m so sorry, I can’t talk long but… I’m at the airport heading to Minnesota. I feel awful, this… this isn’t supposed to be happening like this.” Tyson’s shaky words were met with the sound of sniffles on the other end of the line. “I… fuck. What I said last night… I meant it. Just… just promise me you and I are going to make this work. I barely got out of the hotel and the guys were getting on the bus to head to the arena and Joe called me and told me what happened… I didn’t even get to say bye to the guys.”

AJ’s voice wavered, “I promise… just… just call when you can. Have you talked to your mom?”

“Yeah, a few moments. Fuck, I gotta go, the plane is taking off. Can I call tonight? I promise you too. I just… we…”

“We’re going to make this work.” AJ could hear the fear of the unknown in Tyson’s voice. She tried to put on her own brave voice. “We got this. Just need to unravel it all and figure it all out. I promise… I promise.”

AJ could see Tyson nodding on the phone in her head. She could hear him audibly swallow.

“Part of the business,” he whispered, more to himself than to AJ. “Talk tonight when I find out what the hell is going on.”

“Yep. Love you.”

Tyson found a little bit of familiarity to ground himself with. “Text you when I land. Love you.”

As soon as the call ended, all hell broke loose emotionally with AJ. She packed up her lunch, and actually sat in her car for the last 20 minutes of lunch and straight up bawled. How could something that the two of them talked about and made it out like it was no big deal suddenly change everything? And if this is how she was handling it, truly, how was Tyson handling it?

Unfortunately with lunch over, all AJ could do was go back inside and try to focus on fixing things and closing tickets. Doubly unfortunately, with every new text and DM notification, it was just a reminder of how things got really fucked up really fast. Sure, they both promised each other, but those fears of not being good enough and him finding someone else wherever he might end up came roaring back. Work would be a distraction for a few moments, but then the tears would be fighting their way to the surface.

The WAG group texts were exploding with words of encouragement and reaching out with individual texts. Guys from the team were texting to find out what happened, why Tyson just flat out didn’t get on the bus without saying anything. 

Although it wasn’t her story to tell, she told what little she knew - Tyson was traded to Minnesota, and it was tearing him up that he didn’t even get the chance to say goodbye or anything. With the Avs playing that night, it wasn’t like Tyson could call everyone and say what he needed to.

Jess offered up dinner at her place, but honestly AJ just wanted to be alone. Which is exactly the opposite of what she truly wanted, but there were a lot of feelings on her side she needed to work through. And a hell of a lot of messages to respond to.

And then one more unexpected text came in that AJ really wasn’t prepared for.

Laura Jost: Hey hon, you doing okay? Let me know if you need to talk. (heart emoji), Mom

Afternoon break finally happened, and AJ took a few minutes to text back and forth with Laura. While this was the first big trade Tyson had ever been through, his mom was being strong for everyone. She was the one that dropped him off at UND. She was there when he left UND and went to Colorado to play for the Eagles. And the Avalanche. If anyone knows the feeling of dealing with the unknown, it was Laura. 

Laura was being the rock that AJ needed, saying so many things that soothed her. In a funny turn of events though, Laura had to ask AJ for a favor as well. 

Tyson literally was stuck in Minnesota, with the travel suit he was wearing, a tee shirt, pair of shorts, and flipflops… and three pairs of underwear because AJ instilled in him this weird fear about getting stuck somewhere without a couple extra pairs of underwear. And one of AJ’s hoodies. (In fact, AJ was a little mad, that was one of her favorites.) However this was not a good match for the weather in St. Paul in March. 

The plan was that Laura was going to fly out to Denver to pack up a few things Tyson was requesting. AJ was going to go over later that week to get a few things ready for him, and then Laura was going to fly to the Twin Cities to deliver it all. AJ agreed to help as much as she could. With break over though, AJ had to get back to work, but promised to keep in touch with Laura through this to get logistics all figured out. 

Finally home for the evening, AJ sat on her sofa, lost for a bit. She didn’t even realize an hour had passed when her phone started buzzing in her pocket - thankfully not more texts she had to respond to, no offense to everyone checking in, but it was mentally exhausting. Instead, a head full of curls filled her screen before they disappeared as Tyson lifted his head up.

AJ just smirked, seeing the neckline of a hoodie that definitely wasn’t Tyson’s burgundy one he tended to live in if he wasn’t in someone else’s. 

“Seriously, is that my Wizard World hoodie?”

All Tyson could do was look down and chuckle as he realized it was. “Sorry babe… I had it with me and… well, it’s the warmest thing other than my suit jacket I have.”

Taking the initiative, AJ addressed the elephant in the room.

“What the fuck happened?”

Thankfully Tyson had a fairly long flight halfway across the country to process everything. He still didn’t have a lot of details, other than he had a good talk with Sakic, and then an even longer talk with Guerin. All of those things that Tyson had wanted two years prior… a chance to actually grow his game… was happening. Tyson harbored no hard feelings with the Avalanche organization (although AJ sure did, but more on that in a bit). He was in a position where he was going to play with some top talent, but not a team that was so top heavy that his ice time was going to be sub 10 minutes. The idea was to help him develop his game in areas he was never given the opportunity to. 

Tyson talked for what seemed like an hour endlessly, but that makes sense - his world just got flipped upside down and he was also using this as a way to talk out what was going on. But it finally occurred to him that AJ was just nodding and listening.

He wished he could somehow convince her to take him up on his offer he gave not 24 hours earlier - that she could just move there with him. To him, it seemed like a no-brainer - they were constantly at each other’s places every night lately anyway. And following the conversation he had with his grandpa back in February, it felt like the right pieces were falling into place. AJ wouldn’t have to have a job right away, and if he had his way, at all, but he knew she’d be stubborn and still want to work. It was something he could make happen for her, either way. But it was going to be her call.

Tyson’s mind and mouth finally slowed down enough to realize he should ask how AJ was holding up. He could see how puffy her eyes were. He hated seeing it just a week and a half prior in the hallway before he was whisked off to the dentist for a long night of oral surgeries. He hated seeing it now. 

“It’s been a day. But you said it… part of the business. I had to get through work this afternoon… amazing how many friends I realized I had…” AJ gave a small smile, “lots of messages I probably still need to respond to. Jess offered to have me over tonight, but… I needed some time to breathe. Probably like you. Where even are you at? Did they put you up somewhere?”

The conversation flowed, with AJ finding out that Tyson was at a hotel a few blocks from the arena and the practice facility - Tyson moved his phone around showing his new “home” for the foreseeable future. It looked like an extended stay place, complete with a little kitchen, tiny living room that led into a bedroom and a bathroom. He explained he had dinner with a couple of people from the front office to talk more about everything. In fact, he was expected to be in the lineup the next night.

This put AJ in a conundrum.

Who was she supposed to cheer for? The Avalanche had been her team forever - through the Stanley Cup wins early on, to the low points where they were absolutely awful… and then the last few years even if they would have a 2nd round exit for the last three years.

But Tyson, the man that stole her heart… was now going to be wearing a jersey that he would have issues seeing the colors properly of. It made her question a lot of things.

“I can’t say I’ll be cheering for your team but I’ll certainly be cheering for you, babe.”

Tyson couldn’t help but laugh. The two talked more, and AJ could see the sheer exhaustion overtaking Tyson. He mentioned his mom coming to pick up some of his stuff, but she didn’t tell him that she was already in cahoots with her.

“You know you’re in the land of Target HQ, right? Go buy some damn warm clothes until your Denver-wear arrives! Alright, I need you to get some sleep, you have a game tomorrow night. Text me tomorrow if you get a chance? I know you’ve probably got all sorts of media engagements and practice with your new team…” 

Tyson looked at her with confusion, he hadn’t told her anything about his schedule yet.

“Mel told me a few things of what I could probably expect.”

“I’m glad you’ve got people looking out for you there still even if you’re not one of them anymore.”

“Doesn’t make them instant enemies. At least not until a couple weeks when you guys play us. Er, them. Fuck. I don’t even know what side I am on anymore!” 

It was this very moment Tyson knew that AJ was trying to figure out sides, and that meant she was contemplating at least splitting loyalties to teams between hers and his own. This also meant she was not giving up on him, which gave him a sigh of relief.

Sleep wasn’t much of a thing for AJ, but she wasn’t going to keep Tyson up late, especially now that he was an hour ahead of her. Instead she let him get to sleep - he was used to sleeping in hotels, so this was no different. But her night was mainly spent texting Jess… and she started the grieving process and was flying through the different stages in record time.

Tiredness setting in, clearly AJ was pretty sad to start with. Then the texts turned to anger, with her recounting Tyson’s story about how his development chances were taken away by the Avs top brass - while it was nice that they had that much faith in him to pull him from the Eagles so soon, he never got the opportunity to really tune his game up before moving onto the Avs in a more permanent fashion. Tyson had made peace with that, especially now that he was getting almost a second chance with the Wild. And finally the texts came to a close with admitting she was going to cheer for him. It was just going to be a difficult decision when it comes to COL vs MIN games.

Acceptance.

AJ literally went through most of the stages in one night. That has to be a record. However an incredible weight was lifted from her. The heavy anxiety was gone. The big scary thing that she was worried about happening… did. But as of right now… things were like an extended roadie. All that bottled up emotion that made it hard to breathe at times was gone.

She also realized in all of these texts, Jess wasn’t responding. She apologized in one more text about the whole thing, and promptly fell asleep after being emotionally drained via text.

Spotify blared something from AJ’s rock playlist, waking her up to get ready for work, and two texts were in her inbox.

Jess: I am so sorry, I fell asleep last night after the game and all those feelings are valid! And it’s okay to cheer for him! That’s your man!

Tyson: Morning from St. Paul. Miss your bedhead, Eggo. (heart emoji)

#Tyson Jost #Tyson Jost x OFC #TysonTuesday #Play It Cool #Josty

[vivenciann]

a mandatory birthday post

lately when somebody ask me about my age i would go with 22 or 23 when in fact i am 24. i don’t know when since aging become so scary to me, that it still feels surreal that i am now closer to 30 than 15. and being 25 feels real old Old, that years ago i thought i would be married and have my life figured out at 25.

in fact, being in my early 20s feels confusing. i don’t know if anything i do in my life now is right, future seems blurry sometimes, i feel so distant with a lot of things and people, there are a lot of times when i just feel so tired and i want to sleep all day—times where all this crazy thoughts and questions have this fierce fights in my mind. there are times when i wish i would stop being the greatest judge of my own self. there are times where i really really want to feel content despite of everything that’s happening in my life and mind.

in my early 20s, birthday doesn’t feel the same and not as exciting as it was before when i was a teenager. on the contrary, idk since when but i always feel a little bit (or a lot) sentimental on my birthday. and i don’t know the exact answer to why it feels gloomy—even when i receive so much love on that day, even when i dont receive that much love on that day, even when i just spend all my day on my bed and doing nothing on that day—it still feels a little bit gloomy.

but today as i turn 25, i want to be grateful for everything i have in this life. it’s not everyday i’m having my birthday in lampung, and it’s been years (more than 10 years i think?) since the last time i got to spent my birthday with my grandparents. the moment my grandma said happy birthday while hugging me—that was when my tear drops. the fact that my grandpa is the one who realised today is my birthday and tell my mom rightaway (she forgot cause tomorrow is eid and everyone is busy) made me shed another tear. everyone and everything may come and go, but today i want to be grateful for what i have. let’s take a pause today and pat myself on the back. it’s been a long journey.

happy birthday to me, thank you for surviving.

Metro, 9 April 2024

21.30

last day of ramadhan

[30306-home]

should’ve posted above song first, explanation at the end of this one:/

12:01am march 4 2024

i feel like i’m going to explode. or i need to and am totally paralyzed. this has literally officially consumed me. like it pressing with all it’s weight on every second- literally. i’m so stuck right, and it’s like i’m realizing okay, you’re not finding the door and could have wondered past it without knowing 4 months ago, 4 minutes? i’m tired, i can’t explain anything, overwhelmed is easy next to this, my hands and knees are bleeding, i’m can’t stand this, i’m physically depleted, i’m not present. i’m acting because i can tell, i’m too on edge, everything is so twisted, i don’t recognize or trust it, i saw my reflection i realized today and it felt life it was so surreal… i just completely forgot or or have been so in my head that i haven’t registered seeing my reflection… how that’s the measure of how detached i am from the coherent world happening around me. i haven’t thought to look in a mirror because, the only sense i can make is that it’s one of a million other mundane mindless things, just markers of what degree of trust i’ve actually let go of? like how i’m laying here now and bursting at the seams with all the willpower in the world, but you need trust in order to move with willpower, something? it’s like, i don’t know if i’m getting that right or wrong just like everything else, but there’s something grounded just enough to say, okay, what feels unreal is real. this is real, but you’re just screwed now.

stress of not understanding something you’ve experienced knowing so well really messes you up. you can’t distinguish anything from anything anymore? everything is possible not what it seems, and when that starts getting into you whole world, just… what?? the toll on my health is beyond an alarming reason to snap to, get to wherever i’m nearly killing myself to. and is far behind my priorities, feels like just a real annoyance. even though i have some concept of it literally not being sustainable… i can be in denial, which i’ll be the first to admit i absolutely am, it’s moving at a pace that i’m just not at. cortisol/adrenal glands, off the rails- nothing to do with my regular stuff to manage. and one EXTREMELY stupid symptom to recently emerge (again, inconsistent with other stuff, stress induced, no doubt) is these mini narcoleptic episodes happening all-the-freaking-time (for the most part, not while i’m writing right now, but totally unpredictable and uncontrollable… example, yesterday it seriously took me and hour/two(?) to write my dad a TWO line text! because i was going in to an unconscious sleep state, repeatedly, waking immediately, repeatedly, faster than i could type a full word. and those two lines are nothing legible… its not like i eventually really finished the text, i was sending bit by bit, and thankfully he knew what was going on so wasn’t alarmed. if it were someone else, i wouldn’t have kept torturing myself with trying- but when i do it’s because it’s THAT INFURIATING, and i ALWAYS think i can get myself out if i really try, no. must give in and wait. on. it. wait it out. i have a dentist appt tomorrow and can basically count on it happening there… sorry dr stewart, but i’m not going to be able to control my muscles to stay still for you, my bad if your scalpel or whatever goes through my cheek? (since your probably wondering, yes, i am driving, but can feel enough warning to get in a parking lot, open my sunroof, and, wait). sunroof’s are my saving grace, really, much safer than cracked windows that weirdos can mess with for turning off car but getting air.

check out how i just spent that hour and a half. so perfect. (i’m sorry, i’m at a fuck it, i’m frustrated beyond, giving into complaining (not good) and i seriously apologize, maybe i think a explanations will help? help what, don’t know?).

i’ve been up till 7 or 8 each morning circling in the minimum novel’s worth i’ve already written- that what it’s also so stupid, but cause it’s not like that’s even the problem… it’s too much for me to read just to find where to cut and paste💦

i also tend to weasel out of it even if i do with the idea of mention others with out them knowing. i know and i think you do that there’s nothing sneaky it gossipy about it… that some of the content, but i’m pretty sure i’m wayyyyyyy overthinking. naturally.

bless, all of it🙇🏻‍♀️🧸🌈

OMG ANNA YOU HAVE TO SPEAK!!!! AT LEAST MOVE PAST EVERYTHING STRAIGHT TO END BECAUSE THATS THE ONLY PART THAT REALLY MATTERS BECAUSE IT’S THE RACE WITH TIME PART, AND THAT THE ONLY….. thing of it all.

i wonder if i could manage trying that strategy?

correction: the past 2 hours.

how are you?

i was listening to an old go to in emergency record and heard a song i’ve heard a million times in a different context than what it’s literally about- i love when that happens. anyway it was a way that reminded me of you and brendan.