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chirpsythismorning · 1 year

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Idk what’s worse, the fact that there are milkvans out there that believe El commissioned Will’s painting, or that a majority of milkvans believe she didn’t, but still think everything Will said to Mike in the van scene applies to how El feels about Mike as well. And honestly, how could they not? Mike looked very happy and emotional hearing Will's words in the van... no shit they're hoping that's how El feels.

But El never called Mike the heart. El never said she needed Mike and always will. Those words coming from Will's feelings for Mike, then being used to inspire Mike to give his monologue to El, was disingenuous bc it was never El’s feelings being responded to in the first place.

‘It only works if it comes from you’

That’s the whole problem. It didn’t work bc it was coming from Will, not El.

IF everything Will said applied to El, why not have it come from her?

No, but seriously??

Is s5 just going to open up to El apologizing to Mike for ignoring him after the monologue, followed by her just repeating everything Will said with her own twist and Mike being like cool!! That works for me!

The problem with making the narrative choice to instead focus on Will's feelings at the forefront, only to follow it up with El's identical feelings, does nothing but make the whole thing fall flat.

Instead of seeing this main couple voice their love for each other themselves, I gotta have her brother do it for her?? And only then after he does it, can I see her do it in like a 2.0 version of sorts????

So many milkvans are willing to acknowledge that Mike and El’s dynamic throughout the series is riddled frivolous conflict more than anything, with little to no time dedicated to showing the development that actually matters. They say they wish the show spent more time with them actually face to face acknowledging how they both feel verbally without the constant cloud of some other third party interfering, causing them to have issues. They say that this time though, they think the Duffers will magically pull through for them and go from what they believe is shitty writing to ‘good’ writing, based in terms of how they'll handle Mike and El's relationship in s5...

But that's not realistic on any front, milkvan, byler or otherwise.

And that's a big part of the problem, bc they know the pacing has not been great for them, and they NEED the show to just give them Mike and El so they can be happy, but that's not how you build up suspense for a love story. And dragging out Mike and El any more, would just be a repeat of every other season before. They reached their peak and so they can only down from here. That's kind of the whole point.

One thing to note is that the Duffers always create conflict for the incompatible couple early in a season, so that the audience doesn’t feel too uncomfortable with the idea of considering the other option that’s at the forefront for the rest of the season.

This will ESPECIALLY be the case for byler, bc Will already has home wrecker allegations as it is. And it's also a highly controversial queer ship, and so people are going to be making claims left and right that it’s wrong bc of xyz.

They just wont be able to have byler scenes loaded with romantic tension all season long, more than any other season, and with the story making it more obvious they want us to root for them, while also having Mike and El still be together. And it's simply bc the reality is the Duffers have a record of doing the complete opposite of that.

This is also endgame territory, so there is a serious pressure on the writers part to get their audience to be closer to rooting for byler than denying it even being possible. Meaning they NEED the audience to be watching their first kiss and, for better or worse, be thinking, FINALLY just get it over with already!

Also what's El's supposed to be up to while this is happening? Are we assuming she's just stringing along waiting for Mike to get his shit together? Like Jesus!

El has every right to say her piece and get that shit over with, by episode 1 or 2 at the latest. She could be a focused on Max and her family and friends, which if you'll note also includes Mike and Will, but instead this time without the pressure of her having to hope that something will turn around and suddenly Mike will decide he finally loves her... She doesn't deserve that.

Byler is clearly the route they are taking. If that is the plan, it's time to make this separation so that the audience is finally confronted with viewing Mike and El without the constant rose tinted love at first sight goggles, and instead give them a chance to be their authentic selves.

And I think El, being a character that could barely speak in s1, that her not getting her own voice in this situation is fucking serious. El not being able to say those words to Mike herself, like there's a reason for that. And so when she finally does get to say how she feels, there isn't going to be any room for subtext or misunderstanding, not on the audiences part nor Mike's. El has always been pretty clear about what she wants and I think that will apply in s5 now more than ever.

#byler #no but srs i try to imagine their version of the show and my brain sort of just freezes up #is their dynamic going to just completely shift and they'll communicate perfectly #after barely communicating at all at the end of s4?#like they know that milkvan need to be together by now to make sense and that's why their version has them happy right away #bc they cant allow themselves to see it any other way #bc it would just literally be a repeat of every other season...#somethings gotta give #give el her voice to say how she feels for herself #and don't be mad when it turns out her brothers feelings don't exactly match up with hers #you know.. the words mike smiled captivatingly too...

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worldwatcher3072 · 10 months

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Embracing Consciousness:

The Power of Being "Woke"

In a world riddled with racism, bigotry, misogyny, and intolerance, the term "woke" has emerged as a beacon of hope, inspiring individuals to confront social injustices head-on. However, this powerful term has not been without its controversies. In this blog post, we'll explore the essence of being "woke" and the necessity of embracing consciousness to combat the negative forces that plague our society.

The Dark Side of "Wokeness"

As with any movement, the "woke" culture has faced its fair share of criticisms. Some argue that it breeds self-righteousness and performative activism. Indeed, the pursuit of virtue signaling and the desire to outdo each other in the Wokeness Olympics can divert attention from the very issues it seeks to address. However, let us not forget that the core of being "woke" lies in awareness and empathy, not in empty gestures or hollow statements.

The Real Enemy: Ignorance and Intolerance

On the other side of the coin lie the true adversaries - ignorance and intolerance. Racism, bigotry, misogyny, and other forms of discrimination thrive when people turn a blind eye to systemic inequalities and perpetuate harmful beliefs and behaviors. Being "woke" represents an awakening, an acknowledgment of these issues, and a determination to challenge the status quo.

Fostering Empathy and Understanding

At the heart of being "woke" lies the cultivation of empathy and understanding. By embracing the experiences of others and actively listening to their stories, we gain invaluable insights into the struggles they face. Only through empathy can we break down the barriers that divide us and build a more united and compassionate society.

Education as a Catalyst for Change

Being "woke" is not about flaunting buzzwords or empty rhetoric; it's about educating ourselves on the intricacies of social issues. Delving deep into the roots of racism, sexism, and discrimination allows us to develop a nuanced understanding of these complex problems. Armed with knowledge, we can challenge misconceptions and advocate for informed solutions.

Turning Awareness into Action

Awareness alone is not enough to dismantle the structures of injustice. To make a real difference, we must translate our consciousness into meaningful action. Support for marginalized communities, participation in grassroots movements, and collaboration with like-minded individuals can lead to tangible progress. Being "woke" demands proactive engagement, not passive indifference.

Uniting for a Common Cause

As the world becomes increasingly polarized, it's crucial to remember that the struggle against discrimination is a collective battle. Rather than letting the term "woke" divide us, let us unite under the banner of compassion and equity. By seeking common ground and acknowledging the humanity in each other, we can bridge the gaps that separate us and work towards a brighter future.

Being "woke" is not a one-size-fits-all label; it represents a journey towards consciousness, empathy, and positive change. While it is essential to address the negative aspects associated with the "woke" culture, we must not lose sight of its fundamental purpose - to challenge racism, bigotry, misogyny, and intolerance. Let us embrace being "woke" as a call to action, to educate ourselves, foster empathy, and unite in the fight for a more equitable and inclusive society. Together, we can build a better world for everyone.

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hongism · 8 months

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Can I just say the grip that MOC has on me??? absolutely insane. Like I may rival Hongjoong type of insane, the way you write each character!!!like no character seems to be less complex or pushed in the background they all have such depth about them, same with the planets and side characters too! I absolutely love story telling like this and ugh I could gush about how much I love this story all day.

I wanted to ask questions about MOC but then I realized that all my questions would lead to more questions-

BUT I was thinking about moc hongjoong and it kinda occurred to me that he treats everyone differently and that wouldn’t be a problem if he was normal but now it makes me just side eye him?? Because I do believe that you can see the common denominator of his personality despite who he talks too(like Minho alluded) but it makes me wonder, if mc never actively went against his authority would he had still felt the need to manipulate her from the beginning? Or would he have just done it out of instinct but in a different way?

ALSO I was kinda confused? because everyone in moc likes to speak in riddles about their motives and feelings😭 But Hongjoong is so adamant that he doesn’t need MC even though Seonghwa insists(at the time at least) that he does. Does Hongjoong actually feel like he needs mc?

And I’ve been wondering Mc and Joongs dynamic, it seemed like be “good” at times. Ex: the times they’ve gone to save San together or when he sorta lets her off the hook for things. But it so easily gets flipped at any moment😭is that just because the hate is so strong on both sides that it’s just thin ice? or like revealed does Joon only let the good moments happen when he’s deciding what will make mc the most docile in the moment?

Also is the way Mc feels about Hongjoong(her wanting to be needed, the hatred so intense that anything is ammo, and this hatred going into obsession and in turn obsession making her want him so bad) similar to the way Hongjoong feels about Mc?(I use the term “feel” loosely but the intense hatred, obsession to break and mold her into what he wants)

Basically I think i’m asking does any part of Hongjoong hate Mc so much that it’s turned into “oooo he wants her so bad”like it has for mc(bc this child gives me second hand embarrassment sometimes but same) or is it just the “oooo the captain has a list major issues and mc is challenging a crazy person, therefore he’s just gonna act however makes mc fall in line) kinda like with his scene with Yunho where he was thinking “this simply won’t do.”

This ask is so long I’m so sorry idk what I’m talking about and I never have! No pressure if you can’t answer these yet because I have a billion questions about so many things in MOC that I won’t ask right now BUT I just wanted to tell you how much I admire your work.🥹🤍

hongjoong type of insane pls 😭 but rly thank you so much!! im so glad the characters read well and feel balanced across the crew bc that's one of the harder things to balance with the story haha <3

hongjoong does indeed treat everyone differently hehe part of that has to do with how he runs the crew, where he lets them decide how they want to be treated, but part of that is also just down to him and his personality too! there is indeed a common denominator like you mentioned as well! now, if mc never actively went against his authority, yeah he would have probably been way more normal towards her! which ofc makes it like damn girl you could have had everything you wanted at the cost of what? a slight bit of obedience? but then it wouldn't have been nearly as exciting or fun skksksk there definitely would still have been some manipulation on his part, mostly because that is something deeply rooted in him and something he constantly feels is necessary for 👁️reasons👁️

hongjoong very much puts up a front of not needing y/n, but he very much needs sirens. he knows that she's one, and he hates that that in turn means he needs her but he is adamant that his need for her is solely bc of what she is, not her as a person

hongjoong's mood towards y/n is highly dependent on her own mood towards him. when she acts more hostile, then he responds in kind. hongjoong reacts in extremes, and he does so to everything y/n does. there are times where mc does behave more obediently, and we'll see hongjoong be more lax in those moments, but he also very much likes to let her off the hook on certain things solely bc he wants to see her fail and be able to sort of have this "see, you failed, you need me to make the decisions for you" manipulation tactic

i think it is safe to say that their mutual hatred-obsession-strong lusting is on both ends to an extent but hongjoong wants mc to want him badly enough to make her look stupid bc he's a total psycho LKFJSLD but still we've seen seonghwa call him out point blank for being stupidly obsessed with her too so ! but it leans more on the side of what we saw him do with yunho <3

thank you so much again i love answering asks like this, i'm so sorry it took me such a long time to respond 🥹🥹🥹

#moc: spoilers #caly answers

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venusstadt · 4 years

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Lana, Don't Use Black Women To Make Your Point.

(DISCLAIMER: This article was originally published 5/21/20 on Medium.com, prior to the creation of venustadt.com. As such, my opinions may or may not have altered since the text below was originally written. This article has been re-published here to track my growth as a writer.)

Alternative singer-songwriter Lana Del Rey, the artist behind albums “Born to Die,” “Ultraviolence” and most recently the critically-acclaimed “Norman Fucking Rockwell!”, released a statement on Instagram Thursday lashing out at critics of her music. Lana specifically referenced “the female writers and alt singers” that bash her for “glamorizing abuse.” She received praise from her fans and other celebrities for her post; however, she also got a lot of well-deserved criticism.

Lana Del Rey isn’t the first person to express distaste with their critics. Nor have these critics been very nice to Lana. Back in September 2019, NPR writer Ann Powers penned a review that, though positive overall, seemed to be riddled with backhanded compliments about Lana’s lyrics, aesthetics and feminism.

The problem with Lana’s statement wasn’t her takedown of critics or expression of her experiences with “the culture” that she is questioning. It was her invocation of popular black artists, as well as her implication that there is no place for women who look and act like her within the current sphere of feminism, that had many people, particularly black women, scratching their heads.

Lana starts her statement by name-dropping several popular female artists: Doja Cat, Ariana Grande, Camila Cabello, Cardi B, Kehlani, Nicki Minaj and Beyonce, in that order. She goes on to say that, since these mainstream women are allowed to sing about “being sexy, wearing no clothes, fucking, cheating, etc.,” she should be allowed to sing about what she calls “being embodied, feeling beautiful by being in love even if the relationship is not perfect, or dancing money” without “being crucified” or being accused of setting the feminist movement back.

“Let’s be clear, I’m not not a feminist,” Lana goes on to write, “but there has to a place in feminism who look and act like me — the kind of women who says no but men hear yes – the kind of women who are slated mercilessly for being their authentic, delicate selves, The kind of women who get their own voices and stories taken away from them by stronger women or by men who hate women.”

Lana’s desire to share her experiences through her art is fair. All women should be able to sing about what they desire without undue hatred or malicious critique. But the implication that the artists she chose to name drop—all black women, except for Ariana and Camila—have not received similar, if not worse, hatred and criticism was not the way to make that point.

Black women as a whole often face criticism for their expressions of their sexuality and have been for decades. These critiques are often rooted in misogyny and anti-black racism, which merge to form misogynoir, or the “specific hatred, dislike, distrust, and prejudice toward black women.”

The black women named in Lana’s statement are no different. Beyonce has been criticized many for being too sexual or pandering to the male gaze. She has also faced gendered insults and racist boycotts due to her alignment with issues like Black Lives Matter. Nicki Minaj has been attacked for being a bad role model and allegedly promoting the message that women are only worth their bodies. Cardi B, who has been quite open about her former job as a stripper and its influence on her music, has been criticized for rapping about “dancing for money,” a critique that her and Lana, according to Lana’s IG statement, apparently have in common.

What’s worse is that Lana implies that there is no room in modern feminism for a woman like her: an “authentic, delicate” white woman who croons about toxic heterosexual relationships, the apparent antithesis to the “stronger” black women listed above who she feels overshadow her.

I’ve been listening to Lana for years and enjoy most of her songs, especially those from the “Born to Die” and “Paradise” eras she is most likely referencing in her statement. But to pretend like the current wave of feminism uplifts black women while pushing white women like Lana Del Rey to the side is a blatant reversal of the truth.

As stated previously, many of these critiques against the black women Lana mentions come from a place of supposed feminism that centers white women and applies double standards to black women (double standards that Lana so desperately disregards and even attempts to appropriate to get her point across). No matter how intersectional it claims to be, mainstream feminism is largely built by white women for white women and has been since the beginnings of the US women’s suffrage movement in the late 1800s.

Many of the early suffragettes were violently racist, and these attitudes trickled down into second-wave feminists and the feminists of today. It’s why you have people like Bette Midler believing that it’s perfectly fine to invoke the infamous John Lennon and Yoko Ono song “Women is the N***** of the World” and making excuses when they rightfully received backlash, or why a popular YA author can lead an attack against a black college student for an innocent comment on a book.

In spaces like these, black women are often forced to choose between their race and their gender in a way that white women are not. And when black women point out the racism in feminist spaces, they are accused of being “angry” and “divisive,” much like those criticizing Lana’s statement currently are. If anything, Lana is a perfect addition to the assortment of neoliberal, individualist white feminists who prop themselves up at the expense of others, especially women of color.

It’s fine for Lana Del Rey to fight back against critics. But when she throws black women under the bus and ignores their struggles, she proves that she’s just as much a problem as those she speaks out against.

#lana del rey #racism #misogynoir

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sciivfhospitaldelhi · 7 months

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Understanding Female Infertility: Exploring the Journey and Options in Delhi

The path to parenthood is a cherished dream for many, yet it can be riddled with unexpected challenges, including female infertility. In the bustling metropolis of Delhi, where world-class healthcare facilities thrive, there are renowned infertility hospitals and clinics offering hope and solutions for those grappling with fertility issues. This blog aims to delve into the intricate topic of female infertility, shed light on its causes, and discuss the available options at infertility hospital in Delhi, all while addressing the ever-important aspect of fertility treatment costs.

Understanding Female Infertility

Female infertility is a complex issue that can result from various factors. Recognizing the signs is pivotal to seeking timely assistance. Here are some common indications:

Irregular Menstrual Cycles: Irregular periods or a complete absence of menstruation may be indicative of hormonal imbalances or other fertility-related concerns.

Painful Periods: Severe menstrual cramps or pelvic pain during menstruation might signal underlying reproductive health problems.

Abnormal Vaginal Discharge: Unusual or excessive vaginal discharge can be a sign of infections or hormonal imbalances that can affect fertility.

Painful Intercourse: Pain or discomfort during sexual intercourse can be symptomatic of conditions like endometriosis or pelvic inflammatory disease.

Age: As a woman ages, her fertility naturally declines, with a significant drop in conception rates after the age of 35.

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS): PCOS is a prevalent condition that affects hormone levels and can lead to irregular ovulation.

Previous Health Conditions: Certain medical conditions, such as diabetes, thyroid disorders, or a history of reproductive health issues, can also impact fertility.

Seeking Solutions at Infertility Hospitals in Delhi

In Delhi, a plethora of infertility hospitals and clinics stand ready to provide support to those dealing with fertility issues. Manned by adept fertility specialists and equipped with state-of-the-art medical technologies, these centers offer an array of diagnostic tests and treatment options to identify and address the root causes of infertility.

Fertility Treatment Costs in Delhi

The cost of fertility treatments in Delhi exhibits a wide range, influenced by factors like the type of treatment, its complexity, and the specific clinic chosen. Common fertility treatments encompass the following:

Ovulation Induction: This method involves the use of medications to stimulate ovulation and is often a more economical treatment choice.

Intrauterine Insemination (IUI): IUI treatments tend to be moderately priced and are generally less costly compared to advanced treatments like In Vitro Fertilization (IVF).

In Vitro Fertilization (IVF): IVF is a more intricate and costly procedure, at times necessitating multiple cycles for successful results.

Egg Freezing: This option is available for women who wish to preserve their fertility for future use.

Conclusion

Understanding female infertility is the first step toward seeking help at infertility hospitals in Delhi. While fertility treatment cost in Delhi may vary, it's crucial to consult with fertility specialists to determine the best approach tailored to your unique circumstances. With expert guidance and support, many individuals and couples can surmount infertility challenges and embark on the journey toward realizing their dreams of parenthood.

#infertility #ivf treatment #fertility #ivf clinics #infertility treatment

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treatnow · 11 months

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BRAIN WOUND UPDATE #6: Other Than Honorable (OTH) and Relation to BLAST, TBI / PTSD

BRINGING YOU CURRENT INFORMATION ABOUT HOW TO HELP TREAT AND HEAL BRAIN WOUNDS: CONCUSSIONS, TBI, PTSD This report brings you information about how service members are being separated from the service with Other Than Honorable (OTH) discharges. One organization, USJAG.org, is succeeding at ensuring that injured, ill, or wounded active-duty service members are separated with benefits, honors, and dignity intact.

********************* SGT Jerrald Jensen is one of over 100,000 service members issued Other Than Honorable discharges since 9/11. The majority are combat veterans, most with undiagnosed or mis-diagnosed brain wounds. A Pulitzer Prize-winning series catalogs SGT Jensen's travails, along with multiple others caught up in a surreal legal web that is merciless, even when confronted with documented BLAST injuries and diagnosable brain wounds. Though changes in law may allow a Veteran with an OTH to get some health benefits, the losses are punitive and life-altering. OTH, bad conduct, or dishonorable discharges can prevent employment, ability to obtain a security clearance, and assuredly taint self-image and mental attitudes. While the system needs retributive justice for certain kinds of conduct, the use of diminished mental capacity due to brain injuries to expedite separation from service is a travesty. This tragic misuse of military justice continues as more details come to light about the BLAST injuries sustained by combat veterans. Even firing your own weapon, much less larger caliber weapons and M777 howitzers, can cause brain damage. As we wrote about the Marine Battalion in Iraq, the damage done to dozens of Marines resulted from unprecedented combat. 'The artillery battalion “fired more rounds in five months in Raqqa, Syria, than any other Marine artillery battalion, or any Marine or Army battalion, since the Vietnam War.” During a Marine Corps Times roundtable discussion in 2018, the former senior enlisted adviser to the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff said 35,000 artillery rounds were used to kill ISIS terrorists “by the dozens." 'For comparison, 60,000 rounds were fired by the Marines and the Army during the First Gulf War. And during the initial invasion of the Iraq War, over 34,000 artillery shells were fired." Unprecedented firepower, and unprecedented and undocumented brain damage. True, mental health problems accompanied that wounding, but root cause analysis would have found mitigating circumstances for the behavior that followed. The military is not alone in downplaying or ignoring the ravages of repeated brain wounding. The International Conference on Concussion in Sport once again failed in October last year to recognize brain wounding as a potential cause of Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy. Even, perhaps especially, the world of sports appears willfully clueless about the links between brain wounding and physical, mental, and behavioral deterioration. Dylan Hartley, former Captain of the all-England rugby team, is too familiar with brain wounds from his playing days. He is not part of the suit being brought a group of former players against World Rugby, the Rugby Football Union and the Welsh Rugby Union, for "failure to protect (the claimants) from the risks caused by concussions". He did, nevertheless, experience the plethora of traumas that led to his feeling "virtually broken" prior to his treatment and transformation with Hyperbaric Oxygenation in Dubai. Rugby worldwide is awakening to the long-term damage that can be inflicted on the brain playing high-level impact sports. They are following a path being trod in many sports. The NFL is still not able to come to grips with the documented links between head trauma and the post-mortem proof of a life lived with degenerative CTE: 345 out of 376 brains of dead former NFL players riddled with brain wounds caused by CTE. Hundreds of former college athletes are suing the NCAA. The claims are that “For years (the NCAA) has kept players like Matthew Gee and the public in the dark about an epidemic that was slowly killing college athletes,” Alana Gee's lawsuit said. “Long after they played their last game, they are left with a series of neurological conditions that could slowly strangle their brains. . . . problems ranging from headaches to depression and, sometimes, early onset Parkinson’s or Alzheimer’s disease." BLAST injury, contact sports, falls, assaults, strokes, concussions. In one sense, Other Than Honorable discharges are the least of a Veterans problems alongside the slow deterioration of the brain. As we continue to insist: Heal Brains. Stop Suicides. Restore Lives. Use a proven, scientifically validated treatment: Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy. TreatNOW. Information provided by TreatNOW.org does not constitute a medical recommendation. It is intended for informational purposes only, and no claims, either real or implied, are being made. Heal Brains. Stop Suicides. Restore Lives. TreatNOW Read the full article

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frostfall-matches · 1 year

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[ matchmaking... match made! ]

@jemlalune : [ match report ready! ]

your match is…

✦ Trey Clover

You’re looking for someone who is willing to listen to you without judgement, someone who is calm and on the kinder side… and Trey seems to match those points the best! On top of that, your personalities have both similarities and differences, meaning a relationship should be both familiar and interesting. Many of the students at NRC are pretty fussy; they’re either not particularly friendly, or their humor comes off as sharp and needlessly harsh. Trey definitely has his playful moments, he loves to tease people when they don’t expect it, but he’s not really malicious with his humor. He will play off of your humor well! You wrote that you can’t take a joke very well, and he’s not likely to make any jokes that jab at any of your insecurities; you become a bit more playful here and there with those you’re close to, and he’ll welcome the lightheartedness and affection and return it.

When it comes to your avoidance of serious conversations, Trey can actually work around those situations really well. Whether you fear confrontation in a general sense, or you’re worried about trying to manage your emotions in the heat of the moment, or whatever else might contribute to your avoidance of serious interpersonal problems, Trey is really understanding while also being firm about the situation. He’s responsible and will not let you run away from the problem, even if he understands why you might want to. Thankfully, discussing serious issues with Trey isn’t terrible; it could be much worse! He allows you plenty of time to speak your mind and reflect on the situation, and he can relay his side of things without dismissing your feelings and perspectives. Still, he will get frustrated if you repeatedly and indefinitely avoid conflict, whether it’s with him or someone else.

Trey would be relatively well-equipped to deal with any issues surrounding your sensitivity; after all, he’s had to deal with Riddle for much of his life. Still, don’t get the idea in your head that he’s just “putting up” with you - he really does care about you and he doesn’t mind that you react more emotionally to things! Trey tends to be in his head a lot, so it’s nice being around people who are more expressive and let themselves feel things. He reads people well, so he’ll be able to quickly pick up on things that upset you, even when you try to withdraw from others. And, ever the caring friend and partner, he is more than willing to help you out, whether you need space or comfort. He might fall into the habit of just placating you instead of getting to the root of the problem, but he’s willing to take the initiative on finding a more permanent solution if there’s a particularly persistent issue.

Trey definitely has acts of service as one of his main love languages. He loves baking and enjoys sharing with the people close to him. He absolutely will make you all of your favorites and try out recipes that might suit your fancy. And, yes, even if you might not enjoy how passionate he gets about it, he will make sure that you know that he deeply cares about your oral hygiene and overall health, lol. Trey has a lot on his plate as a vice-housewarden, but that makes it all the more meaningful when he goes out of his way to make your life a little bit easier. On the other hand, while he may not default to physical touch as one of his main love languages, he is more than willing to initiate and reciprocate physical affection. Go ahead and drag him down to cuddle, or surprise him with kisses when he’s trying to focus on something - it’s worth it to see him get a little flustered, and chances are you’ll get a quick hug or kiss in return.

Trey isn’t as big into sports as some people (hence why he’s in the science club instead of one of the several sports clubs at NRC), so he definitely understands some of your grievances with team sports. Sure, he’s used to this expectation of needing to perform well and the pressure of people relying on you to do your part (thanks to Riddle and his role as vice-housewarden), but he wouldn’t say that it’s a particularly enjoyable sensation; not until it pays off, anyway. Still, despite your grievances with team sports, you still participate in them (or at least volleyball), so you must get some enjoyment out of them! He’s supportive and encouraging of your interests and well-being: if you’re looking for a reason to keep enjoying sports, he’ll remind you of that rewarding feeling when things go well and when you and your teammates support each other. If you’re genuinely looking to move away from sports, he’ll help you try out new hobbies.

Speaking of new hobbies, he’d probably really like it if you shared your interest in music with him. He seems the type to find a handful of songs that he likes and listen to those indefinitely because it’s a lot of effort for him to find new music, lmao. Yes, he knows he can just let the algorithm and auto-play work its magic and play him some recommended tunes, but he has to be in a certain mood to add new songs to his favorite-music-repertoire. However, if you two are hanging out and relaxing, play him some music from your playlists! It’s a good way to expose him to new music, and he can always ask you for more curated recommendations.

#user matchup #twst #request

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v-writes-2202 · 2 years

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Scapegoat

I am the chum they throw in the water to attract sharks. I am the steak they toss to the angry dog, to distract him long enough to avoid a nasty bite. The excuse, the alibi, the kid who threw the baseball that shattered the window, nevermind the fact that we are all playing in the yard. The root of the problem, the complication of whatever cancer that killed the body. The bodyguard. The butler who tries the food before the royals to ensure it is not poisoned.

The scapegoat.

I accepted this role with vigor. I started fights with no intention of finishing them, in the hopes that my sisters, my mother, my little brother, would not have to bloody their knuckles. I take on more than I can handle, without regard to how twisted a spiral will result from this. I put myself, my needs, my body, my mind, on the line, to protect my charges. My sisters, my mother, my little brother. I am the thing that stands in between. I am the thing that takes hit after hit, until I fall, to ensure the blows are blunted against all I have pushed behind me. What is one more black eye, one more split lip, if it means others will not have to endure the same? What is a bad reputation and dirt smeared onto my name if it can wrap up our family’s issues with a neat little bow? What are all my issues if they cannot explain why mom and dad don’t love each other anymore? If they cannot explain why our family is falling apart? If they cannot masquerade as something pathologic, disguising the fact that they are just symptomatology? I will gladly take the fall, if it means my charges will endure this disease with a little less pain. It is my job. It doesn’t matter that it will ruin me.

Now that the smoke has cleared, now that the fire is extinguished, now that the fallout has subsided, I am still in the trenches. I am still spiraling, ruining, enacting old screenplays I am no longer cast in. But it was worth it. To me at least. Transference. Their pain has become my burden, and knowing what it feels like, I would take it on every fucking time. I am glad to be the problem, regardless of what it is costing me. I will take the angry phone calls, and the awkward dinners where I pretend my sister is too busy with work to attend. I will take the inauthentic apologies and the manipulative riddles trying to justify beating a kid, I will take the pressure of “don’t say no,” the pain of childhood artifacts, the role of the shoulder to lean on, even though my own life is an absolute disaster, I will take on the novelty of dependency because of that, will take on the role of organizer of family gatherings, will come up with appropriate excuses for all those who don’t want to attend without losing face, will argue with whatever fucked up shit the “bad” relatives come up with in defense, etc, etc.

It is expected now. That I will be the fuck up. That I will be the reason for everyone’s pain. Fine. If that helps you, fine. I’ll take it. If it helps you, I will take it. Perhaps I am misguided, perhaps I have misinterpreted my role. Maybe I really AM the reason for all your burdens. If that is true I am sorry. Just know I have tied my absolute hardest to take the weight from your shoulders. To be the messenger, the bait, the distraction. The scapegoat. I mean you no harm. I want to protect you.

I hope that I was able to dilute it, all the toxic waste headed your way. I hope it wasn’t for nothing. I hope my messes were enough to keep you clean, as illogical as it sounds. I hope I could take enough of the dysfunction to let you stay functional. I hope my shoulders are heavy enough that yours are weightless.

#mental illness #parental abuse #abuse #PTSD #depression #anxienty #problem child #creative writing #writer #writing #prose #trauma #ptsd

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witchywomenrool · 2 years

Text

For witches with self-doubt

Opening Wounds.

I grappled with why this week was titled “opening wounds” flipping back and forth between the readings, the talk about Taino roots, and the Blackboard heading staring back at me.

I used to find museums as a safe place of solace, but after interacting with them below the surface level, they are riddled with significant issues.

As someone who is about to graduate with a master’s degree in museum studies, I was particularly drawn to the ideas of curation, archiving, and performance art and the overwhelming amount of anger that bubbled up in me while thinking about the way GLAM(Gallery, library, archive, museum) institutions handle social issues and personal narratives. The idea of Othering people of color for the sake of entertainment or an exhibit is revolting in every way. I’m going to sound like a crazy liberal but I’m going to say it:

As a future museum professional- if you are not a part of the solution, you are the problem.

People are not exhibits. Museums are usually wrong about history. If a museum is not actively trying to decolonize, they are pro-colonization. Museums should be places for positive social change.

I have had too many classes that we have discussed whether museums should be safe spaces, what to do with “controversial” history such as Confederate statues, and if we should keep stolen bodies in collections because they are “good to study”. I cannot even fathom any of these topics being up for “debate”. Museums should not be places that you pick and choose which side of history to display and should strive to make the world a better place, even if you are located in a conservative community.

I cannot imagine supporting an institution that aims to dehumanize and minimize the experiences of humans and I will fight to fix the system from the inside out. If it cannot change, I will act as a strong anti-museum activist and hope it crumbles.

As someone who is continuously shoved into a metaphorical closet, I cannot imagine being complacent with seeing others being treated as less than. Anyone who has had an inner struggle with self-acceptance can relate to being an outsider and when given a chance for power should do whatever they can to empower those who do not have a voice.

I feel like because of my personal experience, I feel passionately about improving museums. I am intertwining my own narrative as a form of auto-historia teoria by trying to support those who have been silenced. I feel like maybe my mission for doing a master’s degree was to not become a person who works at a museum but instead a person who challenges museums for the better and I cannot imagine a better reason to get a degree.

This is for all the witches who have struggled with self-doubt, you are worth it.

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libra-kirishima · 3 years

Text

Misc. BNHA Characters + Their Toxic Traits

Shinsou Hitoshi

Awful trust issues

Which causes him to obsess over you constantly

"where are you?"

"what are you doing?"

"who are you with?"

"what time are you going to be home?"

"why didn't you take me with you?"

He asks you these every 20 minutes or so when you're out without him

And his trust issues make him feel like everything you tell him is a detective riddle where he has to find out where the lie is

If you tell him you're at the train station when you're technically still on the train but it's nearly to the station he's absolutely going to point it out to you.

"how are you at the train station already when it says it won't arrive until 5:00? It's 4:45. Is something wrong? Are you okay? Where are you really?"

He's also developed serious anger issues after he started training with Aizawa. Not at Bakugou levels of anger issues, but they're there. And they're subtle.

He would never take them out on you. Shinsou would genuinely rather die than take his anger out on you.

But even though it's not directed at you, it's always there bubbling under the surface.

He feels like, as your boyfriend, he has a right to intervene in some of your personal affairs

Meaning that if you have someone making you uncomfortable or someone you have a problem with, he's going to lash out at them on your behalf and sometimes it's fucking humiliating

Almost got himself arrested when you got catcalled while the two of you were at the mall

Made one of your friends cry after you got into a fight with her and vented to Shinsou about it.

Togata Mirio

Toxic 👏 Positivity 👏

God bless him he just does not get it when you're not feeling too hot.

He's just absolutely oblivious to your bad moods.

"Why are you upset about it babe, at least it's over now! :)"

And the same thing goes if you ever have self esteem issues

Absolutely oblivious to any reasons why you might dislike yourself, and doesn't even try to sympathize or find the root of the problem.

Mirio gets over things really quickly and expects you to do the same.

20 minutes after the biggest fight of your relationship he sat next to you and asked what you wanted for dinner as if nothing happened

Canonically has too much energy

And will not stop if you can't keep up with him. He's just go go go all the time.

Always feels the need to be doing something. Does not understand the idea of chilling at home. Does not get the urge to take a break.

A little bit tactless

Feels like he can be 100% honest with you, but he can't differentiate between being honest in a way that supports a healthy relationship and being honest in a way where he says something to hurt your feelings.

Has a hard time taking the blame for when he does something wrong. He always wants it to be on both of you. Even if it's completely his fault, the closest you're ever going to get is "well we both said and did things we shouldn't so let's just accept it and try to move on"

Amajiki Tamaki

Tamaki's toxic traits are the exact opposite of Mirio's in a lot of ways

His anxiety issues cause him to never want to address any issues he might have with you or in his relationship

So he buries it inside himself without mentioning it

If you feel like something is off, you'll mention it and rather than admitting to you what's on his mind he'll tell you it's fine and bury it even deeper within him.

And keeps burying his feelings in and trying not to resent you more and more until one day something happens and his emotions erupt out of him and he's crying uncontrollably on the floor

You're trying to console him to the best of your ability all while thinking to yourself "????? Where did this come from? What the hell happened?"

Additionally, if you want to bring up problems you have with him or your relationship you have to approach it like you're playing 3D chess

Because if you make one wrong move, he shuts down and blames everything on himself.

In these cases he doesn't even try to understand where you're coming from or think of what's the best way to address it. He thinks everything is his fault and he's damaged your relationship.

Doesn't like to tell you if he's feeling down because feels like it would burden you and he doesn't think that's what a good boyfriend should do

Thankfully you've gotten pretty good at detecting when something is off with him and coaxing it out of him

But this has caused him to take it for granted sometimes and so he gets kind of upset when you can't read his mind and know something is wrong with him

Thus beginning the cycle of bottling his emotions until he explodes

He feels like he doesn't deserve you and sometimes uses it as a method of guilt tripping you

He's really pessimistic sometimes and it drains the energy out of you. Unintentionally sucks you into his doom spiral.

Yaoyorozu Momo

Chronic self-esteem issues

Desperately seeks out reassurance and she doesn't find it from you she's going to find it from someone else

But she's usually quite shy so she tends to get it from you

Yet she doesn't explicitly tell you that she needs reassurance, instead choosing to cling to your side and desperately hopes you give it to her.

Has a hard time voicing what she wants and needs just in general

Doesn't want to scare you off so it takes her a long time to feel like she can be authentic with you

Has a tendency to talk about you behind your back when you do something that upsets her

Rather than being direct she tries to hint to you that she's upset through proxies

You can't help but wonder why you have to hear about problems in your relationship through Jirou

Or even worse, through Todoroki

Wants you to hang out with her friends but hates when she hangs out with your friends

Always wants you to think and act the same, or at least very similar.

Another person that feels like you need to be perfect

And if she doesn't think you're there yet then she will coach you on it

Doesn't ever want you to meet her parents despite her having met your family already.

Simultaneously wants attention while absolutely hating having it

Never tops. Ever. Doesn't even entertain the idea of doing so.

Wants to be in charge of everything. Prone to micromanaging you.

Stubbornly refuses to ask for help.

When you move in together you have no say in how the place is decorated. Like always, she wants to do everything by herself.

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astraltrickster · 2 years

Text

I think this post is also the root of a lot of my internal conflict over a lot of critiques of fandom - a lot of complaints about shallow enjoyment of media, of people only looking for mediocre white boys to ship and disparaging anything else, of derailing posts about serious real life issues to talk about a cartoon, of people expecting all stories to be a straightforward escapist romp with positive morals and holding everything to that standard and attacking people for liking anything that doesn't live up to it-

The latter three are...something of a problem - less of one than than they look like due to sampling bias (stupid takes get clicks + we post blorbo here, sir), but a problem nonetheless - but individual wank-riddled fandom blogs aren't the root of it. The root of it is high school English classes that teach symbolism as an absolute so you can fill in the right bubbles on a standardized test, with no regard to whether students are actually learning analysis or not, and the corporations getting their hands on fandom and encouraging this shit because shallow engagement is accessible and won't end up revealing that the source isn't as great as it seems in the hype, and keeping people talking about your product keeps people buying.

This is a problem that has to be solved by filling in the media literacy education gap and rejecting the corporate encroachment on fandom spaces, not shaming individual people for Doing Fandom the Wrong Way or demonizing fan culture wholesale. It is a problem that is reflective of an environment that created it, not a grassroots societal collapse a la Idiocracy.

Of course we have more wank in fandoms now than we did 15+ years ago - fandoms are BIGGER, so by the 1% rule alone we're going to have more bullshit, even before accounting for the fact that corporations have been moving toward astroturfing this shit for a WHILE now (remember Twilight and the Team Edward vs. Team Jacob marketing?). Of course there's a lot of bad fan content - 90% of everything is crap; most of the people creating it are either kids, or adults who are just getting back into creative hobbies after having the creativity beaten out of them as kids and never developing their skills since then; this is just part of the experience when you remove the skill floor of a professional publisher (side note, I love[/s] how it's always "don't be afraid to make bad art as long as you're having fun making something" until said bad art is a cliche slash fic), and it will be there even after Disney et al. stop encouraging the shallowest of readings so a sizeable audience refuses to take a more analytical look at their media junk food to find that it's all formulaic nonsense held together by hype, pointless grandeur, and applied phlebotinum - and more damningly (as there is nothing inherently wrong with junk food media!), is pushing out all the mid-range studios by sheer volume.

Tl;dr: a lot of critiques of fan culture are mistaking the symptoms for the cause.

#fandom

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prof-peach · 3 years

Note

Hi Peach! I work in freshwater ecology researching aquatic native and invasive plants, and I'm curious about a few things. Do symbiotic grass type Pokemon like Venusaur or Torterra ever get accidentally infested with invasive plants? Also, how easily might a grass type adapt to a submerged or shoreline aquatic environment from a terrestrial one? Would seed bed, winter bud, or bulb availability affect the latter?

oh my god finally an excuse to rant about invasive plants affect on pokemon, as a grass type professor, let me tell you i've battled invasive species with some patients for years. They can be incredibly stubborn and difficult to manage at the best of times, and at the worst, impossible to handle, and devastating to the host.

Venasaur tend to dodge a lot of bullets, their body has a quite potent toxin within it, so a lot of plants don't take ahold of them. With their habitats and behaviours, they suffer worst with reoccurring Fungal infections, and viruses more than invasive plants.

Torterra on the other hand is incredibly prone to invasive growth. Part of their must-do care routine is to weed their shells. You have to or they get sick, lethargic, and weak. This will lessen their chance of survival during winter, slash their stamina, and make battles far tougher, meaning they're more likely to get hurt and not recover from it. We had one come in with invasive knotweed all over it not too long ago, it was choking the tree out, near enough putting the pokemon into dormancy from its lack of energy. Left alone, the plants will consume the pokemon entirely, so we isolate, remove issues, restock soils gradually, and wait. If caught early its not a big issue, theyre tough pokemon for sure! but years of neglect can take its toll. In the wold they barter with other pokemon or members of their herds to help remove problem-plants, which shows them exchanging goods and services much like humans do, an interesting insight into their behaviours.

Other species that get invasive growth include Trevenant, often wrapped in life sucking ivy or choked out by invasive honeysuckle. Crustle are an unusual one that often can become overgrown, riddled with Ice plant. Damp Kanto sandslash are prone to moss. golem and their evos are known to have plants wrapped around them, cracking into their tough shells, weakening their defences. We've certainly seen onix with moss, and one with a full natural bonsai pine tree growing out of its body. Sceptile don't often have invasive species, but can attain illnesses that create their own body to start to become invasive, growing far more than normal, often in an erratic pattern. Carnivine can get crowded out in their habitats by stuff like 'horses tail' or 'skunk cabbage' (both kind of dumb names hah).

Honestly i could go on and on. This is like, the bane of my existence. Some of the species we handle are riddled with microscopic seeds, or rooted into so deep they've got tissue around their internal organs, making surgery to remove it dangerous. Bane of my existence.

As for adaption to aquatic locations in grass types, it's actually really common, but often takes a few generations to be efficient. Torterra have variants resembling Mangrove trees, and float around the shallow oceans in hotter climates. A lot of grass pokemon will rot if too wet, but if you notice you're partner or a wild pokemon is always damp, and seems to be just fine, watch them carefully, they may have a change in their form or function as they evolve (this obviously excludes grass/water dual types like lotad ect). Often enough if you find a grass type breeding with something more aquatic in nature, the offspring will probably be more tolerant, but wont always show true physical adaptions right away.

hope you feel a little more informed! I do love to go off about those pesky invasive plants ahah

#pokemon #prof.peach #peach talks

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minor-solemnity · 3 years

Note

hi omg i love you so much!!!! every time i see you post i get so excited!!!!! if requests are still open can you please write over protective tom! i'm a simp for tom x reader when he is super protective over her! thank you😘😘

Eee, thank you! You’re the sweetest omg <3 I really hope you enjoy this! (We all simp for super protective Tom, don’t we? I definitely do)

Tag List: @naps-and-lemons @jinxqsu @riddles-wifey @cakesarecute @mostlynonsense

The Dark Forest

“Stand up for me, and stay close now.” You follow his instructions, the basket and the flowers lying forgotten at your feet. There is something about the way Tom’s holding himself, his back is a straight line of tension, his shoulders are taught, the grip on his wand rigid. He looks like he’s ready for a fight.

The Forbidden Forest is a strange and remarkable place. From afar, it looks like a solid wall of black that fades into hazy mist regardless of the time of day. You’ve always held a certain fascination with the forest, spending a lot of your free time edging the perimeter and peering in through the thicket, trying to get a glimpse of what lies within. You’d given up Care of Magical Creatures as an elective when you had learnt that Professor Kettleburn had made it quite clear to you that he had no plan to ever lead students inside. It had been one of your favourite things to complain about in fourth year, and your secret hope that you’d one day find an excuse to venture beyond the borders.

You suppose the phrase be careful what you wish for was penned for situations such as the one you find yourself in now.

You trudge along the narrow path, one hand gripping your wand and the other holding onto the wicker basket that Professor Kettleburn had given you to collect the stella syriaca flowers before sending you and Tom off into the forest. The only light source you have is the lumos you’ve cast to guide you through the forest and the pale, white-blue light your wand emits turns the forest into a strange imitation of nature. In this light, at this moment, you can almost convince yourself that the trees and the undergrowth are abstractions of nature, an impressionist’s depiction of what a forest might look like.

This in itself isn’t a problem - you’re not so easily scared that the dark and unfamiliar are frightening in themselves. The problem is that you’re fairly certain that you’re being followed. Not that you’re going to mention this particular concern to Tom. He’s already been dragged out to the Forbidden Forest unnecessarily because of you, you don’t want to annoy him with your paranoid imagination. “Tom, do you have any idea where we are?” You ask, trying to keep your voice and calm. You don’t want him thinking that you’re scared, not when it’s your fault that you’re both in this mess.

“If the directions that Kettleburn gave us are to be trusted, we should be nearly at the clearing,” He responds, and unlike you, he doesn’t sound like he’s pretended not to be scared. He just sounds unbothered by the situation, like this is as normal as a trip to the library or a walk around the lake. He glances down at you and frowns slightly as he takes in your clenched fists and tight expression. In the light of the lumos, his concerned expression turns sinister, strange shadows forming under his eyes and distort his usually beautiful features into something otherworldly and dangerous. When he talks though, his voice is soothing and calm, “Are you alright? I would have thought that you, of all people, would enjoy this particular punishment.” You hum in response, unwilling to voice your current thoughts but unwilling to lie either. Lying never works well with Tom anyway - his talent for spotting lies is as good as his talent for the art itself.

“I’m just sorry that I dragged you into this mess,” You murmur, which isn’t a lie. You are sorry that he’s had to give up his evening to escort you into the forest. “You shouldn’t have to do this just because I was being an idiot.” And the fact that this is essentially all your fault rankles you immensely. The issue is… Well, the issue is that you don’t really have anyone other than yourself to blame. No. No, that’s not entirely true. You can definitely blame the school for your current situation; it’s insane that they would send students out into the Forbidden Forest at night unaided and alone as a punishment. Professor Seprenta’s petty desire to take out her frustrations on her students by sending them into potentially perilous places is nothing to do with you. But the circumstances leading up to your detention?

Well, that’s all you.

You wish you could pass the blame but frustratingly you can’t. You decided all by yourself that it would be a good idea to sneak out after curfew to practise summoning circles. It’s also your fault that you’d (stupidly) chosen an empty classroom that just so happened to be next to Seprenta’s office and had forgotten to cast a silencing charm. She’d found you, chalk dust up to your elbows, scattering bay leaves, lavender, and mandrake roots in the four corners of the room.

Needless to say, she hadn’t been impressed, and you’re still not entirely sure if it’s because she caught you out after curfew or if it’s because Seprenta has a weird grudge against any magic that doesn’t involve the direct use of a wand. Either way, it hardly matters now. What matters is that you had been landed in detention and Tom is the one who volunteered to watch over you, ostensibly to make sure that you didn’t skive off, but in reality, you know that it’s because he doesn’t like the idea of you venturing off into the forest alone and without protection.

Next to you, Tom stills and grabs your shoulder, using his leverage to turn you in place until you’re face to face. “I would appreciate it if you didn’t take responsibility for my own actions, it’s terribly narcissistic of you.” He says and despite the insulting nature of his words, you find yourself reassured. Tom is… not the best at kind words and sweet nothings, not unless he’s employing them to get what he wants that is. When he’s being honest, he has a tendency towards bluntness that borders on rude. It says a lot about his feelings towards you that he is rarely charming and sycophantic. “If I hadn’t wanted to come with you, I wouldn’t have, so please, save your guilt for when you need it.”

With a small, weak laugh you nod, “I’ll keep that in mind… Thank you.” Even in the alien lighting, the small smile that lifts Tom’s lips is pleased and soft and maybe a little surprised. The fact that he so rarely hears honest thanks is more than a little heartbreaking. The pair of you continue forwards, Tom leading the way and you following close behind, ever conscious of the… thing watching from the shadows.

You’d first noticed the thing about twenty or so minutes into your exploration of the forest - a silent shadow, no bigger than a bulldog, that flickered in and out of existence in your peripheral vision. You’d not paid it much attention, to begin with, there were plenty of strange things that lived in the forest, after all, and you’d been confident in your assessment that the professors wouldn’t actually put you in the way of any real harm. That confidence has diminished the further in you’ve gone, even with Tom by your side. Now, when you catch a glimpse of it, the shadow looks bigger - maybe the size of a large sheep and a lot more defined. It melts into the darkness whenever you try to get a better look, but you’re fairly sure that it’s more solid than it had been when you’d first seen it.

You tell yourself you’re being paranoid, that the stories the ghosts like to tell you about what goes on in the forest at night have finally gotten to you, but the longer you walk, the more certain you are that there is something in the shadows. “…Tom? Tom, I think something’s following us.”

“I’d be surprised if there wasn’t, darling. You know as well as I do that these woods are alive with more than just birds and trees.” His words are not at all comforting and you find yourself growing annoyed with his flippancy. What you might lack in foresight, you make up for in common sense and your senses are telling you to pay closer attention to the shadows that encroach and creep and linger all around you.

“Tom, I’m being serious. Something is watching us.” He must pick up on the vaguely panicked edge to your words because he stops again and flicks his wand in a complicated motion and a vibrant flame erupts from the tip, floating just above your heads. You give yourself a moment to marvel at his ability before the matter at hand takes precedence and you cast around to try and catch sight of whatever it is that you’ve been seeing. “It was… It was right behind us,” You say, scanning the trees for any sight of the thing. Whatever it is, it’s nowhere to be found. “I swear it was here.”

He hums in response, and when you look at him, you can tell that he’s sceptical. Still, he sends the ball of flame in the direction that you’re pointing and the light seems to reverberate around the dark forest, revealing leaves and branches and thick patches of undergrowth but no moving shadow. Satisfied, he flics his wand again the flame extinguishes. “Keep an eye out - if you think you see something again, tell me.” You nod and bite your lip, pressing a little closer to his side as you continue your trek. You feel like a small child, huddled under your blankets to hide yourself from the darkest shadows in your bedroom. Fear is a funny thing, it’s an almost tangible emotion, prickling the back of your neck and sticking to you like sand on wet skin. Still, you’re almost at the clearing and then all you need to do is pick the flowers and get out.

The stella syriaca flowers only bloom at night, the tiny flowers growing in spherical clusters. Under the glow of your wand, they blossom pearlescent and delicate, like miniature moons rising from the forest floor. You set the basket down and begin to pick the flowers, careful not to crush the petals as Tom watches over you. “You don’t fancy helping?” You call over your shoulder and somewhere above you, Tom breathes out a huff of laughter.

“I hardly see why I should - this is your punishment, is it not?” He counters, wry humour coating his words and you roll your eyes but laugh nonetheless. Now that you’re in the clearing, you don’t feel so afraid, the knowledge that you’ll soon be out of the forest bolstering your confidence. Silence falls upon you and you get lost in the monotony of plucking the flowers, the repetitive actions lulling you into a daze so much so that you don’t immediately notice the rustling in the trees towards the edge of the clearing or the way that Tom’s posture tenses and his eyes turn to slits.

You startle when his hands brush the top of your head, and you look up at from where you’re kneeling on the ground to see what the problem is. Tom looks… He doesn't look scared, which you think is probably a good thing, but he does look agitated. His expression is shuttered window, no light or levity flickers behind the darks of his eyes, no ironic smile curling his lips. You only ever see this side of him when someone displeases him in a particularly grievous manner and he’s never looked at you with that cold blankness that reminds you of ice storms and black tar. You spare a thought for his enemies because you imagine you’d probably drop down dead in an instant if he were to ever turn this particular expression on you.

When he talks, his voice is tight, “What did you think you saw earlier?”

“A… I don’t really know—” Tom makes a low, irritated sound in the back of his throat and the hand that’s resting on your head tightens slightly. “—It was like a moving shadow out of the corner of my eye. It disappeared whenever I tried to look at it, but I think it was getting bigger the deeper we went.” You can’t keep the nervousness out of your voice as you scan the perimeters of the clearing, trying to get a glimpse of whatever it is that’s got Tom on edge. The darkness of the forest seems to loom and though you can’t see anything, you can feel it watching you, can feel the way it sizes you up the same way your cat sizes up mice in the courtyard before she pounces. You’ve always thought it was cute - the way her eyes would grow large and black and her lithe body would scrunch up before she attacked. You don’t find it cute now, though. Not when you’re the mouse.

Tom hums in response and he almost sounds relieved, though you can’t think of a single reason why. “Stand up for me, and stay close now.” You follow his instructions, the basket and the flowers lying forgotten at your feet. There is something about the way Tom’s holding himself, his back is a straight line of tension, his shoulders are taught, the grip on his wand is rigid. He looks like he’s ready for a fight. “Stop the lumos, darling.” At your noise of protest, he shoots you a quick smile which you think is supposed to be reassuring but in reality, looks vaguely foreboding. “Trust me.”

“Nox. Happy now?”

“Ecstatic.”

“Oh, yeah, you sound really— Merlin, what the fuck?” The shadows in front of you shift, and something big and black and not really there seems to collect in the near pitch black. Vapours in the air that pool and swirl until they coalesce into a shadowy thing the size of a shire horse. For a moment, it just hangs there, waiting and watching and anticipating.

And then it lunges.

In the grand scheme of things, your life is relatively unimportant. You’re not so narcissistic that you believe that the world will be irrevocably changed or diminished if you were to meet an untimely end - sure, your family and friends would be sad for a while, your cat would wonder why you’re no longer around to give them treats and ear scratches, but nothing would fundamentally change if you were to die. You know all of this and still, you’re staring down the proverbial barrel of a gun and the only thing that’s running through your mind is, Dear Gods, why me?

You realise in this instant that you are not made for combat. This shouldn’t be a surprise to you - you’re pretty good at Defence, but you’ve never enjoyed duelling. In contrast to your frozen reaction, Tom responds immediately. The rigidity of his posture melts into something fluid and instinctive, and he’s stepping in front of you in one smooth motion and slashing his wand through the air in the next. Violet light arches through the darkness and the thing rears back, as though wounded before it pushes forward. You scramble backwards, staring in horror at the thing. In the spell-light, you can see now that its body is made up almost entirely of shadows - living, sentient shadows that join and divide around a curling skeleton. The only thing standing between you and the shadows is Tom, who is in his element, a whirl of controlled energy and deft wand movements. You’ve seen him duel before, but only in the relative safety of Defence Against the Dark Arts, and watching him now, in an environment where he doesn’t need to hold himself back, where every ounce of his focus and skill is directed at a real-life foe inspires awe and wonder and fear inside you.

The thing slinks around the two of you and tendrils of shadow and darkness curl out and whip at Tom’s feet. You think it must realise that of the two you, Tom is the more immediate threat. Tom leaps out of the way and advances, seemingly without fear for care for his own safety and you’re dimly aware that you’re yelling for him to get back and away. He either doesn’t hear you over the sound of his own casting or he doesn’t care - he just keeps moving, ducking neatly out of the way of another tendril as he sends a jet of golden light that splinters and pierces the monster’s shadows. You keep a tight grip on your wand, trying to think of any spell that might do something against an incorporeal monster.

The monster lets out a shriek and you’re not sure if it’s in pain or just angry but Tom is already moving again. He reaches for you blindly, not taking his eyes off the thing that is currently writhing on the forest floor. Before it can get a chance to recover, Tom raises his wand a final time and the bright white light of a lumos encompasses the shadow being burning and blinding until all that remains is a charred husk a skeleton that matches no anatomy of any creature you’re familiar with.

“Are you alright? Are you hurt?” In contrast to the surety with which he duels, his voice is wrecked, a kind of frantic worry lacing his words. When his hands find yours, his grip is tight to the point of it being painful, as though he’s half-convinced that if he lets go you’ll fade into the shadows along with the monster.

A feeling of warmth and affection surges inside of you, far stronger than the fear that courses through your veins and you grip his hand back, clinging just as tightly to him as he is to you. “I’m fine— Tom, are you okay? I’m sorry for dragging you out here with me,” You say, anger at having gotten him into this mess and anger that the school would harbour some kind of shadow demon in the forest forging your voice into something sharp and hard.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” He says and you’d be insulted by the way he brushes you off if it weren’t for the way that his thumb brushes your knuckles as he pulls you closer to his side. You know him well enough to hear the unspoken worry in his words. “This is exactly why I came with you.” You know he’s telling the truth. Since you’ve known him, Tom has always had an uncanny ability to know when you’ll need him, has always been there to help and protect you. Usually, that involves editing your essays and handing out detentions to people who trouble you, but you shouldn’t be surprised that he’s taken his chosen role to heart and would gladly put himself in harm's way if it meant you didn’t have to.

Nestled against him like this, you feel the fear that’s been with you since you first entered the forest fade, leaving behind a tired sort of fondness and relief. He’s still glaring at the place where the thing used to be, still tense and stiff as though he’s waiting for it to rise up and start attacking you both again. Tentatively, you reach up and brush your fingers against his jaw, willing him to turn and look at you, so that you can see for yourself that he’s okay, that he’s still here, with you. After a pause, he grants you your wish and your heart quickens at the ferocity lingering in his eyes. “Thank you,” You breathe and just like that, something shifts in the air around you and the tension leaches out of him.

He leans down and brushes a kiss against your forehead and you wind your arms around his back, one hand splayed firmly against his shoulder blades, the other running through the short dark curls at the nape of his neck. “I’m okay, I promise. Thank you for being here.” And you’re not just thanking him for tonight, though are you grateful, you’re thanking him for every instance he’s stepped in to look after and protect you.

“I’d never let anything happen to you, you must realise that by now.” He murmurs, and in the hushed silence of the forest, you can hear the unspoken promise clear as you can feel the warmth of his hand in yours.

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