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everlarkficexchange · 3 years

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Hanging in the Balance

Written by: @ameliaodair

Prompt #29: I want to request a fic where Katniss and Peeta almost lose their first child and it makes their love and relationship even stronger. [submitted by anonymous]

The prompt pretty much says it all. On their way to visit Katniss’s mother, Katniss, Peeta, and their daughter fight for their lives. When Peeta wakes from the devastating crash, his life— and Katniss’s are forever changed as their sweet, baby girl has the fight of her life, with her life hanging in the balance.

Thanks to the amazing @taylerwrites for her magical beta skills!

Rated T for difficult situations

Warnings: (almost) losing a child

Hanging in the Balance

“How long has it been since the last time we saw your mother?” Keeping his eyes focused on the road and his hands firmly gripped on the steering wheel, Peeta glanced over to Katniss, his beautiful wife of six years.

“I don’t know, maybe … Actually, I think the last time we saw her was just after Prim was born; oh my god, I can’t believe it’s been that long. Oh, Peeta, did you rem—” Katniss tensed up, thinking they had forgotten an important item on their checklist.

“Calm down, Katniss. Trust me,” Peeta gave his wife a charming, yet reassuring smile and reached for her hand. “I went over the list three times before we even left the house, and then once more after loading the car up. We didn’t forget a single thing. And if, by chance, there is something we forgot, I’m sure it can be duplicated at the nearest department store.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Katniss murmured, catching a glimpse of the back of their daughter’s head before slowly relaxing into the passenger seat next to her husband.

“In fact, I’m almost certain we brought enough stuff with us to stay for a year,” Peeta gently joked with his wife, in hopes of easing her nerves. He knew the real reason for Katniss’s high-strung demeanor, and her incessant need to be in complete control. She had lost her younger sister when she was just a little girl and it nearly broke her. Peeta still wasn’t convinced she had recovered from that loss.

Katniss and Peeta were childhood sweethearts. While Peeta knew from the moment he entered his kindergarten classroom that he was destined to be with the beautiful girl with the stunning grey eyes, raven-colored braids down either side of her face, and a voice that could bring a stuttering, toothpaste-stained shirt little boy to his knees, it took Katniss a little longer. It required some convincing, but Peeta was persistent and finally, at seven-years-old, Katniss accepted his friendship-invitation. And the lovesick fool that Peeta was decided he would take what he could get. So, for years, they were friends— best friends.

Peeta was there the day Katniss’s sister, Prim, died. He had sat next to Katniss, gripping her hand like a lifeline while they stood vigil by Prim’s bedside, and watched as she took her final breaths. And it broke him too, but not like Katniss. She was devastated beyond belief— for so long. And for so many years after that devastating tragedy, Katniss vowed to never have children … she could not bear to love another person with so much of her heart, only to have them ripped from her life. They dated for five years before she finally agreed to marry him. And then it was another four years before she agreed, and quite apprehensively, to try for a family.

“I think I’m going to get off at the next stop for some gas and we can stretch our legs. It’ll be nighttime soon and I’d rather you guys not wander around in the dark in some backwoods city I don’t know.”

“You worry too much, Peeta,” Katniss chided, taking Peeta’s hand and entwining their fingers. She brought their conjoined hands up to her lips and placed a kiss against the crest of his knuckles. That’s why they were perfect together— because they balanced each other out. When one was overcome with fear and anxiety, the other was always there to level the other one out.

Peeta got off at the next exit and followed the signs to the nearest gas station, which was less than a mile away.

“Don’t go to the Shell, go to SHEETZ,” Katniss pleaded with her husband when she saw the direction he was headed.

“Why? Shell has better gas.”

“SHEETZ has cleaner bathrooms. Please baby,” Katniss whined, knowing the use of the pet name, in addition to giving him the wide, puppy-dog-eyes would be enough to melt his hesitation.

“Okay,” he conceded, “Anything for my girls,” he gave Katniss’s hand another squeeze as he stopped at the four-way intersection and then gently accelerated on the gas when he saw the coast was clear. Ever since their daughter, Prim was born, Peeta drove like an old man instead of a man in his late twenties— precious cargo and all.

“PEETA!!!!!” Katniss screamed when a set of headlights came barreling straight for them.

“Mr. Mellark? Mr. Mellark, can you hear me?” Peeta opened his eyes and tried to sit up. “Mr. Mellark, how many fingers am I holding up?” The uniformed man asked him as he waved his fingers in front of his face and shined a flashlight into his eyes.

“Three. Where’s my wife? Where is Prim?” Peeta responded, shoving the medic’s hand out of his face as he attempted to sit up again. “Where am I?” Peeta demanded, turning his head from side to side, surveying the small space he was in and called for his wife, “Katniss?” But she wasn’t anywhere in sight; as far as he could see, he was alone in the ambulance with these three strangers— medics.

“Sir, please calm down. You were in an accident. My name is Pollux and I am a paramedic. You have sustained some rather severe injuries. We are rushing you and your family to the nearest hospital.”

Adrenaline flooded Peeta’s veins, his heart accelerated until he was fuming, “WHERE is my wife and my daughter? Where are they? Are they okay? Please, you have to tell me,” he demanded, oblivious to the steadily increasing beeping in the background and needing some answers before his anxiety consumed him.

“They were air-lifted from the scene of the accident; we should be arriving at the hospital any moment now. We’ll know more upon arrival,” Pollux offered sympathetically and craned his neck to his shoulder to speak into the microphone attached to his uniform, “Hey Castor, what’s our ETA?”

Peeta didn’t realize there was already an IV connected into his arm, or that the paramedic injected something into it, which was the reason everything went black.

2 days later:

“Well! There are those marvelous blue eyes I have been hearing about! Good morning Mr. Mellark, my name is Dr. Trinket.”

When Peeta opened his eyes, everything was fuzzy at first. He blinked a few times until his vision slowly adjusted, and this Dr. Trinket came into view. She was a beautiful doctor, there was no denying that. Probably in her mid to late thirties with short, curly, blonde hair— so blonde it almost looked pink … and she was in the traditional hospital scrubs you normally see doctors wearing.

‘Seriously, bright pink scrubs?’ Peeta thought, wondering if he could go blind just by looking at her for too long.

“Can you tell me your name and date of birth?” Dr. Trinket asked him, shining a light into his eyes. “Good, good. Pupils are equal and reactive.”

Peeta recited his name and birthday for Dr. Trinket, and she nodded, satisfied with his response. “Do you know where you are?” Dr. Trinket asked, checking his reflexes.

“Um … a hospital?” Peeta thought that seemed obvious.

“And do you recall the circumstances that brought you here?”

Peeta closed his eyes and tried to pull the memory from his mind, only to come up empty.

“Mr. Mellark, you were in an accident,” Dr. Trinket began filling in the blanks for him, “You suffered a slight concussion in addition to a hairline fracture to your femur. After assessment upon your arrival to Tribute Center Regional Medical Facilities, you were rushed into surgery to repair your injuries. You have a splint on your leg and should heal just fine. I foresee a speedy recovery as long as you stay off your legs. Do you have any questions for me?”

Flashes came sputtering back, hitting the back of his eyelids like one of those slow, stop-motion picture films from Dr. Trinket’s words. “M-my w-wife and daughter—” Peeta croaked, his voice still dry and hoarse from days of not using it.

“Nurse, nurse, can we please get Mr. Mellark some form of oral hydration to quench his thirst?” Dr. Trinket pressed the call button on the remote by his bed and spoke into the intercom, “I bet you are just parched, aren’t you Mr. Mellark?” As upbeat and gregarious as the lovely Dr. Trinket appeared to be, he was not fooled by her deflection.

Before he had the opportunity to ask about his family again, a woman with kind eyes entered the room, carrying a styrofoam pitcher of water, a small tower of cups, and a handful of straws. She poured Peeta a cup of water and offered it to him.

“Thank you,” Peeta smiled at the woman, who returned his smile, and then disappeared from the room just as quickly as she entered.

Peeta took a long sip of water through the straw and wasn’t sure anything had ever tasted so good in his life. But then he met Dr. Trinket’s eyes and asked the question that was looming over them once again, “My wife? My daughter? K-Katniss and Primrose Mellark?”

Dr. Trinket’s face fell, and then she looked at him with so much pity, which only compelled Peeta to immediately jump to conclusions.

“No, no, they can’t be!” He cried, covering his face with his hands.

“Oh, no! No, no, my apologies Mr. Mellark. Your wife currently rests in a medically induced coma. She had some minor swelling on her brain, so the doctors felt it was necessary to allow her body adequate time to heal. She should be waking at any moment and her prognosis is optimistic!”

Peeta took another sip of water and braced himself for what came next, “And P-Primrose, m-my daughter?” Peeta faltered, afraid of her response. She was barely two years old; if he and Katniss were injured this badly, what happened to her? She was so tiny, she was—

“Your daughter’s—”

“Prim,” Peeta insisted. If his daughter’s condition was as critical as he feared, he would not allow the staff in this hospital to treat her as another ‘number’. He’d heard of horror stories and patients being neglected because of arrogant doctors. No, they would call her by her name.

“My apologies; Prim is in the pediatric intensive care unit. I do not know much about her case, but your daughter’s doctor will stop by shortly with an update on her status. I shall page him now to inform him that you are finally conscious. His name is Dr. Abernathy.”

“Okay,” Peeta nodded.

“I must warn you Mr. Mellark, Dr. Abernathy may come off a bit abrasive, his bedside manner needs much work, but—"

“Is he good? Will he save my baby?” Peeta implored; he could care less about the doctor’s bedside manner, all he cared about was if the man was good at his job. All he cared about was if he could save his baby girl.

“I may be a bit bias … but yes. He is the best. It is a fact that he is a world-renowned critical care pediatric surgeon. You will not find a more qualified physician in all of Panem.”

“O-okay, that’s good,” Peeta stuttered, feeling more optimistic as Dr. Trinket walked toward the door.

“Um … Dr. Trinket, if you don’t mind me asking, but why are you biased towards this doctor?”

“He is my husband,” Dr. Trinket answered proudly. “Oh, and please call me Effie, ‘Doctor Trinket’ is my mother … and besides, it makes me sound so old!”

“Mr. Mellark, I’m Haymitch,” a man with scruffy blonde hair covering his eyes strutted into the room. He had a white coat just like the other doctors Peeta had seen cruising the hallways, but this man looked far from any doctor he had ever met. Sure, he had the arrogance the other doctors seemed to have in spades, but he did not share the chiseled and clean-shaven faces he had witnessed on some of the other medical staff. He looked up, and above the breast pocket of this man’s jacket, the name, Dr. H. Abernathy, was inscribed in elegant script onto his coat.

So, this was Dr. Abernathy, Peeta thought. “It’s— it’s Peeta. Y-you have news about my daughter?”

“Yes, Primrose Ellis Mellark, twenty-six-month female,” Haymitch began, flipping through his notes. Then he dragged a chair across the room, its legs scraping against the floor, finally planting it next to Peeta’s bed before he took a seat in it— backwards. Dr. Abernathy— Haymitch put his notes away and crossed his arms over the back of the chair to look Peeta in the eye.

Yes, this was unlike any doctor I’ve ever come across before, Peeta thought to himself, but not necessarily in a bad way.

“Mr. Mellark, Peeta, I ain’t gonna lie to ya, yer little girl is in pretty bad shape. Thankfully, she was properly strapped in the car seat, and rear-facing at that— which is what will probably save her life. Most parents don’t follow the PAP guidelines—”

“I’m sorry, what is PAP?”

“Oh, my bad— I mean … sorry. It’s the Panem Academy of Pediatrics— you know, the guidelines— uh, the riff-raff of all the do’s and don'ts pertaining to childcare and whatnot. Anyhow, most parents turn their kids around before it’s time so they can see them … but uh— yeah— she’s beat up pretty bad, we’ve removed all the shards of glass from her skin and stitched up all the residual lacerations.” Peeta cringed at the doctor’s extensive description of his daughter. “She suffered some internal damage to her organs—”

“When c-can I see her?” Peeta stammered, interrupting the doctor and fighting back tears that were threatening to spill over.

“Soon. I’ll have someone page your nurse once she’s stabilized, and then we’ll get someone to bring ya up there. Ya got any other questions?” Haymitch asked Peeta, squirming to get out of the chair.

“Has … has anyone told Katniss— my wife?” Peeta warily asked the doctor. Part of him was hoping that Haymitch had already told her, while deep inside he knew it had to be him to deliver this crushing blow.

“No, not yet. I have to round on a few patients and then I’ll be stoppin’ by her room.”

Peeta gulped, “Would it—”

“Sure kid, it’s all yours. It’ll save me the trouble of havin’ to do it,“ Haymitch gruffed.

Geez, Dr. Trinket wasn’t kidding about his bedside manner, Peeta silently ruminated, all the while, wondering how in the world those two were married.

“Katniss? Katniss, baby, can you hear me?” One of the nurses hunted down a wheelchair and rolled Peeta into Katniss’s room. The sight of her broke his heart. She was lying there, unconscious and connected to an assortment of tubes and wires. As he sat by Katniss’s side, he found comfort in the steady beep, beep of her heart monitor, which he hoped was a good sign. He reached for her hand, holding it in his own, and closed his eyes, silently willing her to wake up.

I … I can’t do this alone; please Katniss, please wake up, with a quivering lip, he silently pleaded to her.

“Shouldn’t she be awake by now?” Peeta looked up and asked the nurse.

“I’m so sorry Mr. Mellark, but it isn’t an exact science. Patients can wake up anywhere between a few hours, to a few days once they’re weaned off the medication.” Katniss’ nurse, Annie informed him with a sympathetic smile.

“It’s okay, I understand.” Although Peeta was frustrated, he knew it wasn’t Annie’s fault and forced a smile to his lips.

Peeta wasn’t sure how much time had passed since he first arrived in Katniss’s room. He had already twice refused to return to his own room; he didn’t care about himself. All they wanted him to do in his room was rest, and he was perfectly capable of doing that from the comfort of his wife’s room, if not better. If he went back to his room all he would do is worry; at least in Katniss’s room, which was just across the hall, he could attempt getting a little rest.

“Mr. Mellark?” Annie slowly crept into the room. Peeta had fallen asleep in the chair next to Katniss’s bed, the cramp in his neck proof of the poor position he was in.

He jerked up when he heard Annie’s voice. “I know you don’t want to leave her side, but Doctor— I mean Haymitch just called and said we could bring you up to see your daughter. Would you like to—”

Peeta jolted up from his chair, forgetting about the injury to his leg for a moment until the pain shot up his spine.

“Oh no, no, no, I will get your wheelchair and take you up there. You wouldn’t make it to the elevators,” Annie smiled.

Annie rolled his wheelchair in from outside the room and wheeled Peeta to the PICU floor.

“So, does everyone call Dr. Abernathy by his first name?” Peeta tried to fill the uncomfortable silence with small talk.

Annie chuckled from behind him. “Yeah. He and Dr. Trinket— Effie; they don’t like formalities. They claim it helps eliminate the doctor/patient barrier; something about trust and bonding.” Peeta nodded and thought, ‘Yeah, I guess that makes sense.’

“Okay, I guess … I can see that. Have you worked here long? Do you know … is he a good doctor?” Peeta hoped he wasn’t being too intrusive, he just needed to know if Haymitch was as qualified to care for his daughter as Effie claimed.

“Haymitch? Oh, yes … he’s the best. If it were my son lying in a hospital bed— no matter where in the world I was, I would want Haymitch as his doctor. Heck, I would gladly pay him whatever he wanted and have him flown to whatever corner of the world I was in.”

“Wow, that’s … impressive. So, you have a son?”

“Yes, Nick is four years old,” Annie stopped and flipped her name badge over, stretching it out in front of Peeta’s line of sight to reveal a picture of a little boy with the greenest eyes, and wavy, sun kissed golden-blonde hair.

“He’s adorable … he’s going to be a heartbreaker when he’s older,” Peeta smiled, his heart aching to hold his own daughter.

“Thank you. His name is Finnick— well, Finnick Junior, after his father, but we just call him Nick. Oh, look! We’re here!”

Annie wheeled him into the PICU and spoke with one of the nurses who helped him to the “Scrub Room.” ‘Johanna’ first demonstrated the process of “scrubbing down,” which meant vigorously washing your hands with a medical scrub brush that contained a special, hospital-grade antiseptic soap. When it was his turn, Peeta “scrubbed” for exactly three minutes while Johanna stood over him, observing with her stopwatch in hand throughout the entire process. On the one hand, it made him feel self-conscious, but on the other hand, he was glad the staff was this precise. Then she checked his temperature, because, under no circumstances was anyone permitted to enter the unit with a temperature above 100.3. The last step was donning a sterile gown, gloves, and a facial mask before finally being allowed to see his daughter.

“So, if someone leaves and comes right back just a few minutes later, they have to do this all over again?” Peeta asked Johanna.

“Every single time—no exceptions. Hospital policy—or, well, Haymitch’s policy,” Johanna chuckled.

Prim looked so tiny in the incubator she was lying in, it reminded him of the ones you see premature babies in. It brought back memories of the day Katniss gave birth to their daughter, Peeta, silently thanking the heavens that his and Katniss’s newborn baby was full-term and healthy. He just hoped luck was on their side this time, too.

Peeta’s entire body quivered with trepidation when his eyes landed on his daughter. Prim was covered in stitches— they stretched across her entire body; on her arms, legs, her chest, and covered a majority of her face and head. It looked like they even had to shave a portion of her hair to place some of the stitches. She had IVs inserted in both her arms, a tube down her throat, and a tiny nasal cannula blowing oxygen into her nostrils. Peeta’s eyes began to sting from the sight of his beautiful Primrose, and the closer he inched toward her, the harder his eyes stung. Until finally, the dam broke, and the tears began pouring from his eyes, followed by uncontrollable sobs escaping his entire body.

“Oh, Primmie baby, I am so sorry. Daddy is so sorry; do you hear me?” Peeta cried to his little girl.

“Is she … will she make it? Do you think— can she— will she survive this?” Peeta looked up, meeting the nurse’s eyes, and wiping his face with the back of his sleeve.

“I honestly cannot give you a definitive answer Mr. Mellark. These little ones tend to have a mind of their own. Right now, it’s kind of touch and go. I would say that if she makes it through the night, then she’s got a standing chance. But I’m going to tell you something, I’ve seen babies much worse than your daughter bounce right back, but— on the flip side, I’ve seen others with barely any injuries—” Her words trailed off, hesitant to complete her sentence, but Peeta knew what she meant.

They didn’t make it. Peeta sucked in a breath, mustering all the courage he had to be strong for his daughter. What would he do if Prim di— if she … he couldn’t even think the word without his chest feeling as if thousand-pound bricks were smothering him.

“Why is that? What makes the difference?” He forced the words out. If Prim was to survive this, he needed to know.

“I think … Now, this is just my opinion, but I truly believe it depends on how hard they’re willing to fight. Their will, their drive to live. Right now, I would say, and perhaps this does nothing to ease your mind, but … hope and pray. As a veteran PICU nurse, I truly believe in the power of prayer. Talk to your daughter and let her know that you are waiting for her; that you are counting on her to survive this.” Peeta nodded, understanding what the nurse meant. “Give that beautiful little girl something to fight for,” Prim’s nurse finished with a kind smile.

“What was your name again? I’m sorry, I didn’t catch it, and how long will you be Prim’s nurse?”

“My name is Portia Rose, and I’ll be here all night,” the kind nurse replied, with an equally as kind smile. Peeta wondered if it was fate that brought them together. His daughter, named after Katniss’s lost sister, and this ‘Portia Rose,’ their names having an uncanny similarity.

“Peeta, Peeta what happened?” Katniss croaked, knowing something was wrong the moment her eyes opened and her husband’s tear-streaked face came into focus.

“Katniss, there was an accident. What is the last thing you remember?”

“I remember, we were going to the gas station … you wanted to stop before it got dark. We … we were on our way to see Mom … and then … and then … Peeta, what happened? Where is Prim?” Katniss asked, pushing herself up with her hands to straighten her position in the bed.

Water pooled in Peeta’s eyes and he bit down on the inside of his cheek to stop the flow of tears. He had to be strong for Katniss, he couldn’t show weakness, not yet. Not now.

Peeta poured Katniss a cup of water and handed it to her. “Here sweetie, I bet you’re thirsty.”

Katniss took the cup and pulled the water into her mouth, “Peeta, you’re scaring me. W-what happened?”

“Katniss, we were in an accident; w-we were hit head-on by a drunk driver.”

Katniss felt the heat spread through her face, and then slowly, it radiated to the tips of her fingers and toes. “And Prim?” She asked hesitantly, suddenly feeling nauseous and dizzy.

“She’s okay for right now. The doctors are taking really good care of her.”

“Okay, that’s good. That’s really good,” Katniss smiled. Peeta could see the tears welling up in her eyes and knew she was biting down on the inside of her cheek to quell her tears as she nodded. He instantly knew that something wasn’t right; this was the opposite of how Katniss should have reacted. His Katniss would be screaming, throwing a fit— demanding to get out of the hospital bed, adamant to see her daughter. But this was more like … like denial. He saw this once before … when her father died. Granted, that was years and years ago when they were barely teenagers.

Peeta observed Katniss for a few hours, occasionally leaving to check on his daughter. He knew the staff in the PICU were taking exceptional care of his daughter, and something told him his wife needed him more. After his most recent visit to Prim in the PICU, he made sure that Portia knew how to reach him in case … in case she needed him.

When Katniss was given “out of bed” privileges, she walked around the room, cheerful and full of smiles as she chatted jubilantly with her mother on the phone. She acted as if their daughter’s life wasn’t hanging in the balance just a few floors above them.

“Mom’s on her way Peeta, she should be here tomorrow,” Katniss informed Peeta after placing her phone on the bedside table.

Concerned for his wife’s emotional stability, Peeta spoke with one of Katniss’ nurses to find out when he could take her to their daughter.

“I don’t see why it should be a problem, she does seem to be basking in the river of ‘De Nile’,” Dr. Cinna noted, trying to lighten the mood. “Perhaps seeing Primrose with her own eyes will open her mind to the truth,” Peeta smiled, shaking Dr. Cinna’s hand; he was the first one to refer to their daughter by her name unprompted, and Prim wasn’t even his patient. It was at this time that Peeta decided that he liked Dr. Cinna— that he was perhaps his favorite doctor as of yet. Dr. Cinna provided Peeta with a wheelchair for Katniss, after first making sure Peeta’s legs were strong enough to haul her to the elevator.

“Come on Katniss, let’s go see our girl,” Peeta suggested, rolling the wheelchair up to Katniss’ bedside.

“Okay, sure. Mom’s on her way Peeta, she should be here tomorrow.”

“That’s good Katniss, I’m glad,” Peeta tried to feign enthusiasm. He frowned, wondering if she realized she just told him this only minutes ago.

Peeta wheeled his wife to the elevators and then pushed the “12” button that would deliver them to the PICU unit. He followed the arrows and pressed the button on the intercom, waiting patiently for someone to answer them. Johanna immediately recognized him, and took them through the same procedure from earlier of scrubbing down, a temperature check, and donning the sterile gown, gloves, and mask before Johanna led them to their daughter.

“Peeta, what— what are we doing here? I thought you were taking me to Prim?” Katniss asked, all traces of joy disintegrating as she was wheeled to Prim’s bedside.

“Katniss, honey— this is—”

“Oh, baby! Prim, baby, oh my God, what, how—” Katniss’ eyes filled with tears as she craned her neck up to meet Peeta’s eyes.

“No, no. NO!” Katniss screamed, standing up from her wheelchair, glaring daggers at Peeta. “NO, this is NOT happening!” Katniss shrieked, bolting from the room. Peeta did not follow her, he knew she needed time. The wheelchair was only precautionary, Katniss’s main injury was the concussion, which had healed during her medically induced coma.

He pulled a chair up to his daughter’s bedside, stuck his gloved hand inside the isolette and began to stroke her tiny hand. He needed her to know he was here for her and he wasn’t going anywhere.

“Oh, my sweet, sweet baby girl. My beautiful, beautiful, Primrose; Mommy, and Daddy are here for you and we’re not going anywhere, do you hear me? Mommy is just scared right now, and she will be back really soon. Oh, Primmie— we love you so, so much and we need you to get better. Oh, Prim; I know you probably don’t know this, or understand it, but you are the light of our lives. You have to get better, okay? Please fight, Primrose; you have to fight. I don’t think Mommy would survive if we lost you, I don’t know if I would survive. I know that’s a lot of pressure to put on such a little girl, but … but—” Peeta closed his eyes, held his head down, and did something he hadn’t done since he was a boy.

He prayed.

“If there is anyone out there who can hear me, anyone at all, I—” Peeta began, pleading with the powers that be as he sniffled, wiping his eyes with his free arm. “Please save my girl, she is my world, my everything. And— and my wife— Katniss needs her Primrose. I’ll do anything; if it’s a life you want— or need, take mine instead. Prim is just a baby; she hasn’t had time to live yet. She still needs her first day in kindergarten, her first best friend—a first boyfriend and a first heartbreak. I’ve lived, I’ve had all those things and more. I’ve lived a happy life, but please, just please, don’t take my girl.”

“Prim …” Peeta began after a moment, hoping to reach out to the sister Katniss lost so many years ago, “if you’re out there, and you can hear me, please … please look over our girl. Please, don’t … you can’t take her, it’s not her time,” Peeta sniffed again, his head perking up from the sound of footsteps behind him.

“Mr. Mellark?” It was Dr. Abernathy— Haymitch, looking no worse for the wear.

“Hi, Dr. Aber—”

“Haymitch. Call me Haymitch.”

Peeta nodded and met the man’s eyes, “Peeta.”

“Peeta, we’ve done everything we can for your girl, now it’s up to her.”

“What does that mean?” Peeta asked with a befuddled raise of his brow.

“It means that medically speaking, there is nothing more I can do for your girl. Now, it’s up to her, whether or not she’s willing to fight. If she gains consciousness before the night’s over, I am optimistic that, in time, she’ll make a full recovery.”

“And if she doesn’t?” Peeta asked, trembling with fear as he awaited the doctor’s answer.

“Then it’s not likely she’ll wake up at all, and then … we’ll discuss extraordinary measures. But let’s not cross that bridge until we get to it. In my experience, kids will fight to live if they have somethin’ ta fight for.”

“Thank you, Dr.— Haymitch. I … I need to find my wife— what are visiting hours?”

“I’ve cleared it with the nurses; you and your wife can stay as long as you want.”

“Thank you,” Peeta smiled and shook Haymitch’s hand, eager to find Katniss. As he made his exit from the PICU, he noticed Haymitch taking the seat next to his daughter and cleared his throat. Peeta slowed his pace, straining to hear what the doc had to say.

Haymitch cleared his throat once more and began to speak in a soft and gentle voice that Peeta almost didn’t recognize from the hardened doctor. But it was— without a doubt, him. “Listen, sweetheart, I know you don’t know me and all, but my name’s Haymitch and I’m your doctor. I know you’re little and all and you probably don’t understand how the world works, so, I’m gonna tell ya. You see, doctors give orders and patients are s’pposed ta listen. I’m the doctor, you’re the patient, got it? Alright, well now that that’s settled, I’m ordering you to stay alive, alright kid? That’s all you gotta do; stay alive. I’ll do the rest.”

With that, Peeta went on a quest for his wife, knowing his daughter was in good hands.

After Peeta wheeled Katniss to their daughter’s bed, it all hit Katniss like a ton of bricks. That was her daughter lying in that miniature hospital bed. Her Primrose. She had already lost one Primrose; she wouldn’t survive losing another— she just wouldn’t. Unable to face the truth, she ran from the room and took the elevators to the top floor. Once she exited the elevator, she went to the nearest door, which led to a stairway. She took the steps two at a time and passed through another door that opened up to the roof.

Katniss ran to the edge, leaning against the banister; not to jump, but just to look out into the sky.

For the first hour, she cried. She cried and cried, trying her best to convince herself that wasn’t her Prim lying in that bed, but someone else’s baby. It couldn’t be her daughter, it just couldn’t. The universe couldn’t be that cruel, right? But deep down, she knew it was. And then, she was consumed with guilt—for wishing that fate upon someone else’s child.

During the following hour, she did something she hadn’t done since she was small, since her own parents forced her to do it. She didn’t necessarily believe there wasn’t a God exactly, but she didn’t really believe there was one either. But what if there was? Would he still listen to her after all the years of silence?

Deciding it was worth the risk, on the off chance there was some kind of higher power out there, she begged, she pleaded for them to save her little girl. And then, she resorted to begging, dropping to her knees as she bargained her life away. She didn’t know that at the same exact time, her husband was doing precisely— the same exact thing. She was on her knees sobbing when she heard the door whoosh open, her husband’s beautiful blue eyes piercing into her own grey ones.

“Katniss, are you okay?” Peeta asked her, worry glazing over him from the sight of her on her knees.

She wanted his comfort, needed it even. But then, she was angry at him. No, not angry, but furious, enraged. This was all his fault, after all.

“Go away!” She shouted at him, seething with rage.

“Katniss, what?” Peeta shrunk back, hurt by her rejection.

“This is all your fault Peeta. If you hadn’t— YOU’RE the one who wanted kids, not me. If YOU hadn’t convinced me to have kids, this wouldn’t be happening. We wouldn’t be losing her.” Katniss stood up and inched herself closer to Peeta, sending him a cold, icy, glare.

“You don’t mean that Katniss,” Peeta told her, holding his stance with pain-filled eyes. He knew deep down that she was just hurt and needed to channel her frustrations elsewhere. Lashing out at him was the easiest, and fastest way to achieve that goal.

The closer Katniss got to Peeta, the angrier she became. The tears began streaming down her face until she could no longer hold back the uncontrollable sobs. She began hitting and pounding her fist against his chest, she was so angry. But Peeta didn’t budge. He didn’t try and stop her, he just stood there, taking each hit and allowing her to use him as her own personal punching bag. He knew it wasn’t actually him she was angry at, she just needed somewhere to divert her anger.

Peeta pulled Katniss into his arms and within seconds she ceased pounding his chest. He held her, crying his own silent tears while Katniss sobbed in his arms. Once the tears subsided, Katniss looked up to see the pained expression on her husband’s face, in addition to the tears streaking his cheeks and she felt … guilty.

“I’m sorry Peeta, I’m so sorry. Oh, Peeta, I— I’m sorry, I didn’t mean what I said.”

“Shhh, sshhh. I know, I know,” Peeta whispered into her ear, stroking circles against her back as he tried to comfort her.

“I can’t lose her Peeta, I— I won’t survive if I lose her.”

“I know Katniss, I know. Me too. But … but I won’t survive if I lose you. So, let’s pull ourselves together, go to our baby girl and give her something to fight for,” Katniss sniffled and nodded her head. Together, they walked back to the PICU to be with their daughter.

They re-entered the PICU and headed straight for Prim, only to see a swarm of nurses huddled in a circle; in what looked like them holding vigil at their daughter’s bedside. One look on their faces and Katniss and Peeta knew something was wrong— devastatingly so.

“I’m so sorry Mr. and Mrs. Mellark, her vitals are steadily declining. It won’t be much longer now; would you like to hold her before— before—”

“I … I wasted so much time,” Katniss cried, nodding as the tears streamed down her face. One of the nurses pulled up a rocking chair for one of the parents to sit in. Peeta was adamant that Katniss hold her first— just in case.

They opened the tiny incubator and placed Prim in Katniss’s arms, draping a blanket over them while another nurse made a call to Haymitch.

“Oh, baby girl, momma loves you so much. Mommy and Daddy love you so, so much sweet girl.” Katniss hummed through her tears. “You are so special Prim, so, so very special, my sweet, sweet girl. You are so special and so loved and …” Katniss sobbed through her tears, placing kiss after kiss to her little girl’s forehead. Peeta squatted next to Katniss and with one hand, he linked their fingers, and with the other hand, he stroked his little girl’s foot. The floodgates were open— he didn’t think he could cry any harder until he heard Katniss’s beautiful voice singing the lullaby to their daughter.

Deep in the meadow, under the willow

A bed of grass, a soft green pillow

Lay down your head and close your eyes,

And when they open, the sun will rise;

Peeta’s heart plummeted in his chest as he heard Prim’s heart monitor “flat line.” As difficult as it was with the splint on his leg, he inched closer to his wife and daughter as they both cried and overwhelmed Prim with kisses. They showered her with as much love as they could muster, telling her how much they loved her. They told her how special she was and how they would never forget her. As badly as it hurt Peeta to say the words, he finally told his baby girl that it was okay for her to go. The last thing he wanted in this world was for her to suffer.

The nurse reached up to silence the heart monitor when, suddenly, the steady beeping from the machine resumed all on its own.

“What the—” the nurse exclaimed just as Haymitch burst through the door.

“I thought you said code red?” Haymitch growled, seeing the normal heart rhythm on the monitor.

“She—she flatlined, and then— she just— came back,” Portia stuttered in complete bewilderment.

“Little slugger had something worth fighting for, what’d I tell ya?” Haymitch chuckled, looking at the teary-eyed parents.

One Year Later:

“Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you …” Katniss and Peeta sat on either side of their daughter on her third birthday, slightly less than a year after the devastating car accident that nearly took her life.

“That is one happy little girl,” Effie looked up and smiled at her husband. “Thanks to you,” she added in a whisper.

“Yeah, yeah.” Haymitch pretended like he didn’t care, but Effie knew—she always knew; he cared too much.

“What did you wish for, sweet girl?” Katniss asked her daughter after she blew her candles out.

“A baby brudder,” Prim said, her face smeared with chocolate frosting and a mouthful of chocolate cake.

Simultaneously, Katniss and Peeta’s eyes locked and Katniss inadvertently reached up to palm her belly.

“Should we?” Katniss mouthed to her husband who gave her a slight nod.

“You’re going to be a big sister Prim, but not for a few more months,” Peeta informed their daughter, loud enough for everyone to hear.

“Yay! I like wishes, Mommy!” Prim squealed, wrapping her tiny arms around her mother’s neck.

#ameliaodair #prompt 29 #Springtime edition 2021 #submission

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hariosborn · 3 years

Text

sirius black fic rec list!!

okay but imagine having sirius black fall in love with you...a concept 😌

the feeling that we’re meeting again by @writesowhatnext

cross house relationships!!!!! literally yall are missing out if you project yourself into the same house as your lover!! you’re missing out on the tension, the passion, the romance!!! and once you get out of hogwarts and that tension is still there!!! post hogwarts sirius!!! hes so hot!!! and grumpy >:) you can never go wrong with slowburn fics!!

the risk of love by @with1love1anu

ive been following anu for foreeeeeever and she never fails!! her writing is always so good and shes one of my favorite marauders era writers <33 you’ll see as you go down this list - but i love pining fics like im obsesssssed!! ooo and this one has a hint of best friend james and it just makes the story 10x better!

breakfast in bed by @wondernimbus

when authors are 14 years old but can write flawlessly even though i struggle doing simple short stories in english class 😘not but fr ysa is such a good writer xx. breakfast in bed! what would yall eat 🤔if we’re talking abt english food (like food from england) idk what they eat over there tbh but i would pick roasted potatoes and waffles for breakfast :) wait actually no i wouldn’t, id probably do french toast with powdered sugar, strawberries, and french fries. ik it sounds weird but i had that the other day and i teared up, it tasted so good. but in this fic they have something even better!! have you ever wondered what it would be like to have toast, strawberry flavored muffins, and fruit for breakfast, all from the comfort of your bed, with the one and only sirius black? well look no further bc this fic has that and everything more!!

godmother by @blisfvll

jen does it again!! coming through with the godmother!reader x godfather!sirius fics <33 (shes on this list three times bc she just writes so much good sirius content 😫) not to be morbid but when im gone i want someone to talk abt me the way sirius talks about the reader 😔i just love the way the sirius talked about her so lovingly and treated her like this ethereal being and painted her like this angel bc that must be so comforting for harry knowing that not only are his parents looking after him but his angel of a godmother is too ♥︎

oh shit + pt2 by @im-a-writer-right

big brother remus am i right! as the oldest child, i love reading fics where im the younger sibling bc i just want someone to be able to look after me and care for me and be protective abt who i date bc they’re like “ i just don’t want you to get hurt” 😔 but anyways - this was a rlly cute and funny fic! i love snarky sirius and butthead james and overprotective remus and scared of falling for her brothers best friend reader :) if you like those all too you should read this one 😌

warnings by @blisfvll

i felt like i was watching a short film! i loved this one! its so well written that you can like watch the play by play of everything happening in your head, like its sooo good! im sorry i keep putting so many angsty fics on this list 🥺👉🏼👈🏼 they’re just all so beautifully written and jen is such an amazing writer <33

just a natural fact by @iliveiloveiwrite

MILLIE!! YOU DID IT AGAIN!! guys if you are not following millie pls do i freaking love her sh*t and shes so far been on every fic rec list ive made :)) back to the review tho! im a very big fan of those timeskip fics like where theres a scenario for every year at hogwarts - and this one is one of those and i just - AGHHHGH!!! idk if this counts as a slowburn but like as someone who injects themself into the hogwarts timeline and pretends to be studying for her NEWTS when shes really doing AP work - i love reading about study sessions w remus where sirius tries to interject himself so he can be close to you 😊i dont want to spoil anything but like the tagline “Break my heart. Break it a thousand times if you like. It was only ever yours to break.” RUINED ME!! and you know what! i’ll do it again! i will read this fic and let it ruin me three more times and ten more times and however many i feel like! so yes, if you couldn’t tell, i love this one, and you guys should totally read it

die for you by @blisfvll

i like to torture myself with sad fics so now im passing them along to you so we can all cry together ;( domestic life with sirius is something so very personal to me 😌so ofc i jumped at the idea of being harry’s godparent along w hubby sirius! but do not be fooled by my review - this one is sad - but its totally worth it!!! the things we do for baby harry am i right?? i am right 😌

wrapped around my finger by @remusishotterthansirius

jealous sirius jealous sirius jealous sirius!! oooo and when he growls >:)) i love the idea of being like this unattainable magical being in sirius’s eyes and you’re just like completely unaware of his feelings and it just adds to the mystery about you like imagine him sitting with the marauders by the black lake and him picking at a flower being like “she loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not” and then him being all sad and pouty once the petals are all gone and he was left with ‘she loves me not’ :(( but n e ways - this was so cute and so masterfully written and i just love everything this author puts out so do not be surprised if you see at least one of their works on every single one of my hp fic rec lists >:))

misunderstandings by @imagineitup

oof this one really played with my heart! you know those fics where someones feelings are painfully obvious and you just want the other person to finally realize so they can both be put out of their misery and then go on to have this cute relationship BUT NONE OF THAT CAN HAPPEN UNTIL THEY COME TO THE REALIZATION THAT THEY ARE CAPABLE OF BEING LOVED!!! i love those fics and this is one of them :)))

thats all for my recs! sorry this ones so short - ive been drifting in and out of life, and school has been hard for me. there was a lot more to this list but a lot of my favorite writers have left tumblr so i dont have as much to share w yall 😔and theres obviously so many more amazing writers out there, im just sharing what i know! i’m thinking of just finishing up the other fic rec lists i have and then im going to move over to anime recs! ive been obsessed w haikyuu lately and theres a lot of fics i want to share with others - so if you guys don’t stick around for that i totally understand - but don’t worry im not making that switch till much later ✌🏼love you all so much! hope you’re all taking care of yourself, but dont worry if you’re not, its always a process so don’t put too much pressure on yourself to get stuff done and make sure to celebrate what you do get done! congratulate yourself when no one else will, and remember i’ll always be in your corner cheering you on!

happy reading!

- love, hari !!

#harry potter #marauders aesthetic #marauders fanfiction #marauders imagine #sirius x y/n #sirius x reader #sirius black #sirius and regulus #fanfic #fanfiction #fic rec #fic reading #reccomend me #fanfiction reccomendations #fic reccomendations

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thebigqueer · 3 years

Note

hiii! could you write a fic/headcanons of leo, nico and will. i had no idea that was a ship until recently and i love it!!! and i want to read how they get together. in my mind solangelo is already dating (bc leo is in no condition to date after canon) and after leo comes back (after toa5) they became friends and eventually they confess to leo (when he already got over calypso and is better emotionally y'know?). no pressure if you don't feel like writing this tho :)))

hhhh anon im sorry i absolutely would love to write this for you into like an actual fic but it takes me a long time to write fics :(

but! i can def give you headcanons! after all they’re like fics but in outline form and much less grammatically correct! but if i do make a fanfic, i’ll be sure to post it. maybe you’ll like it! can’t make any promises i’d write it anytime soon though cuz i have a few more projects on the line but you know... i’m def considering making one after everything i’ve written in this post...

okay exactly yes i totally agree that leo only gets with them after he’s emotionally stable & after toa5

this is straying from soldezangelo a little but i made a post here about what i personally think should have happened w/ leo’s ending in HoO, if you’re interested in reading it. i’m gonna make the following bullet points based on that

but tldr: i’m just basically saying that i wish caleo ended up leaving ogygia as friends so that leo didn’t get that forced romance on him

so he stays at the waystation for a while with calypso (only as friends; like they’re staying there and are really adorable friends) and all the while he’s really thinking only about himself and his well-being. he goes back to high school and keeps up with that project he’s doing w/ other kids and giving them opportunities to make things (GOD THAT WAS SO CUTE)

then leo decides that maybe for the winter, he’ll go back for a trip (i also hc that piper and percy and annabeth go to chb for the same winter so that some of the seven see each other!)

there, he meets will and nico, but i think mostly he’s interested in talking w/ nico. so they talk a lot. nico expresses how angry they were for leo dying like that and scaring everyone, and leo says he’s sorry but he had to. i think this also provides nico and leo the perfect opportunity to talk about jason, since they were both really good friends with him. and nico also understands that it was leo’s decision and his sacrifice. but they also talk about how leo’s sacrifice kind of... felt weird. since in the end, they still lost the storm but the fire lived on (ehehhehe idk if that made sense but i was tryna be smart lakjsdlfkj)

i think that opportunity ultimately provides nico and leo to get along a LOT better with each other, and they both realize that they actually have been through a lot of similar feelings. by which i mean theyre both so fuckin mentally unstable and they relate to one another.

nico talks about how he’s been in a relationship with will for a while, and leo’s happy for him, really. but i think a small part of him is jealous, too. not because “oh god here’s another couple im supposed to worry about after ive just started getting over this ingrained idea of needing romance to solve all my issues and feeling like i belong,” but more because i think leo’s always been a little attracted to nico since they were on the argo II with each other. i don’t think he ever acted on those feelings, especially since a lot of the people on that ship were more judgmental towards nico and he probably felt like he had to be as well (by the way, none of this is an excuse to leo’s treatment of nico, or, by extension, an excuse for anyone’s treatment of nico on the argo II.)

leo apologizes to nico about how he treated him, and nico smiles and tells him it’s fine. like, nico has had his own bout of personal growth as well, especially in the past year. he doesn’t - and won’t - forget how people treated him, but now he’s learning to just let it go, in a sense.

and i think this is when leo and nico kind of develop underlying feelings for each other.

leo and nico probably hang out a lot, but will also joins becuase he’s nico’s boyfriend, and nico loves to have him tag along. so i think leo feels a little intimidated by will, like “damn my crush is really just bringing along their boyfriend huh??”

and leo’s like. so jealous. like “ugh why does this hot golden ray of sunshine have to ruin everything. why is he always around. he’s so fucking distracting. like hello i’m trying to simp for nico but he’s so gorgeous for the both of us.” and then it hits leo that oh wait oh fuck he actually likes both of them and that “intimidation” he was feeling was mostly just him being attracted LMAO

leo and will get a bit closer through nico, and then i think the two of them are like very joke-y with each other, and they totally connect with each other about texas and being absolute fucking NERDS (since they are both canonically absolute dumbass nerds HSDHFSLFKDJ)

and leo’s struck with how cute he is omG

and then nico’s like “wow they’re both so glowy aslkdjffdj HHHHH”

and then will’s like “damn they’re both so dark and mysterious”

and also not to mention they all totally relate about mental illnesses, abandonment issues, and the like. i mean, after everything that’s happened to all three of them (since will has been through like two wars, has lost two brothers, and has probably lost a lot of lives and feels guilty for it) they probably really relate to each other about always feeling... this dark uncomfortableness inside them. a void. they get really deep about mental health, and i think nico actually suggests to both of them that they should all talk to dionysus, just like he does (because, as we all fucking know, love cannot fix mental health and it doesn’t matter how much they’re all attracted to each other, they will not cure each other just because they’re in love)

i think somewhere in the relationship between will and nico, a tension starts to build up a little. they’re not really sure how to exactly deal with teh fact that they like leo (and neither of them actually admits it to the other because they like the other as well and they really are not in the mood for a “”””love triangle”””)

but the funny thing is, they probably all talk about it with dionysus in their separate times. and Mr. D is just. he’s so done.

SLKDJFKLSDHFLJSDKFSDKJFSFDLJK - Mr. D falling asleep at night thinking about this soldezangelo thing because he thinks it’s really funny that they all like each other but don’t wanna admit it

he totally suggests that nico and will talk about it together, and after lots of hesitation, will is probably the first one to come outright and say that he likes leo as well. and nico’s like “OMG WHAT ME TOO. like i really like you but i also really like leo...”

so they’re both actually really relieved, because they didn’t really want to break up with each other but they didn’t really want to keep lying to each other, either.

and they tell leo, and then leo’s so happy because lKJSDFJLSLDFK YALL I LIKED YOU FOR THE LONGEST TIME

and bada-bing, bada-boom, ya got yourself a little soldezangelo!!!!

i hope you liked that!!! i’m actually tempted to make this into a fic now, but since it’s already in headcanon form is there a point? hmm... imma think on this though. thank you SO MUCH for the ask!!!

#soldezangelo headcanon #leo valdez headcanon #nico di angelo headcanon #will solace headcanon #soldezangelo #leo valdez #nico di angelo #will solace #rick riordan #riordanverse headcanon #riordanverse #trials of apollo #toa #anon tag #asks

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kinktae · 4 years

Note

no idea if anyone has said this yet but i feel like kiri only told jk she wanted him to spite y/n and that she has no desire to get back together w him 🤭

bitchin 8 asks because i suck

spring2787 said: Pls tell me my son didn't do that to her in bitchin 8.... Ahhh.. Jeon Jungkook.. You dumb brat... 🥺

Anonymous said: You’re such an amazing writer, like damn you have SO MANY PEOPLE invested in your stories that you now have 1247294 people ganging up on jungkook and forming protection squads for y/n 🤣🤣 I’m so excited for what’s to come !!!!

Anonymous said: Ummmm.... I just binge read all of bitchin and let me tell you that it WAS LITERALLY THE BEST THING IVE EVER READ! I LOVE THE SOCIAL DYNAMICS BETWEEN YN AND JUNGKOOK AND I ESPECIALLY LOVE YARAS PERSONALITY

cheeky-kookie said: Hey bb just me dropping in to give my opinion on the Bitchin' Chapter because I havent done it yet & you know how whipped I am. JK did a big uh-oh and fucked up. Hes confused. Kiri came and it's what he wanted forever. My theory is that it probably didnt feel like what he wanted after the fact and that's why he met up with MC. ALSO, the MC is upset (understandably) but she cant blame him bc she has given him no hint that there could be something there. Overall, good chapter :) Still whipped.

Anonymous said: I "kombucha girl"-ed to y/n telling jk she would never fall for him but I've decided it's what she (bitchin!jk) deserves 😤😤

unknowntalesx said: oh my god that anon went off 😂😂 nd the other anon has a good point! he might be very confused and wanted to see if y/n had feelings but alas the dirty dickin was still dirtyyy, oh meathead, i lovE bitchin

yourdelights said: watching everyone freak out over bitchin makes me very glad that i decided to wait and read it all after it's finished. i'll still end up suffering, i'm sure, but i'll get all the suffering done in one shot. like ripping off a bandaid after wetting it first.

Anonymous said: Lmaooo I'm over here sipping on my tea, waiting for Yara to wear her black latex suit and give little Jungkook a visit.. Honey, you've got a big storm comin 🍵🍵

Anonymous said: I feel like Kiri is going to cheat on him again and THEN he'll finally have the big revelation that oc was the right girl for him all along

Anonymous said: the real question is: is kiri going to use what happened and jk “cheating” on y/n with her to hurt y/n 😶👀

Anonymous said: Lmaooo I'm over here sipping on my tea, waiting for Yara to wear her black latex suit and give little Jungkook a visit.. Honey, you've got a big storm comin 🍵🍵

Anonymous said: I feel like Kiri is going to cheat on him again and THEN he'll finally have the big revelation that oc was the right girl for him all along

Anonymous said: the real question is: is kiri going to use what happened and jk “cheating” on y/n with her to hurt y/n 😶👀

Anonymous said: rose i really hope u know that we want to y/n to have an least a moment with taehyung in this goddamn fic called bitchin

Anonymous said: thank god we just ship y/n with tae in this house right

Anonymous said: we are going to beat jk’s ass after all that shit he did with y/n 😤 meanwhile i wanna say a very important thing: taehyung WOULD NEVER do that lmao bye

Anonymous said: Me after reading about what Jungkook did to OC in bitchin08: I hate to say it, I hope I don’t sound ridiculous, I don’t know who this man is. I mean, he could be walking down the street for little bitches who don’t know how to process their feeling and need to get their shit together before a pissed off best friend come to chop their dicks off because he couldn’t keep it in his pants, and I wouldn’t know a thing. Sorry to this man

anonbebe97me said: Please, for the love of God, update Bitchin’ soon. I literally felt it so bad when he admitted what he did. My entire heart collapsed. I cannot even. Your writing is so good- I genuinely laughed during so many moments in this series and you might be my favorite writer. Seriously, I love you

Anonymous said: bitchin’ is legit the best thing ive ever read

Anonymous said: Same anon who has a (metaphorical) hole in her chest now...This fic is written so beautifully and I feel like I didn’t express that in the previous ask... it’s too good and damn why I did I have to get emotionally attached to these characters because now I’m genuinely Devo 😪 but still looking forward to what comes next (whenever it comes :))

Anonymous said: Damn chapter 8. Of bitchin’...BROUGHT ME TO TEARS. But I know your a great author so I BEG IT WORKS OUT AND THEY GET BACK TOGETHER BECAUSE I AM TOO EMOTIONALLY INVESTED AND THERE IS A HOLE IN MY CHEST FROM THE ANGST OH MY

Anonymous said: So I was putting off Bitchin 8 for a little bit because I didn’t know if I could handle it. I don’t know why a fictional story has me so effed up, but it does. So tonight I read it and OMG now I’m all angsty and upset! Why do you do that to us? Suchhhhh a good fic and amazing writing, but whyyyyyyy must you make us feel this way. This boy needs to get his shit together and just love her already. My heart can’t take it. 🤦🏻‍♀️❤️

madjammil said: I am waiting with bated breath for part 9 of Bitchin'! Part 8 had me all distraught 😭

Anonymous said: Will Y/n fight Jungkook? 🤧😂

cuteipat said: Should I prepare tissues or not?

toomuchdaegu said: art 9 dropping on my birthday, that is very much adequate

sydney--chan said: Your new mobile theme looks really good babie 🥺🥺 I cant wait to get my heart stomped on again during bitchin' 9!!! You're the only person I'll allow to do that to me HEHE hope ur doing well luv u ❤❤❤

wallbitjch said: Bijj stop teasing us 😤😭 huuhu but thankyousomuch ok 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘💕 bitchin foreva

Anonymous said: fanservice is gonna be yara x tae i KNOW IT

Anonymous said: Fuck Jungkook. Stan Yara.

Anonymous said: YOU MADE ME FALL IN LOVE WITH BITCHIN' KOOKIE OMG until chap 8. 🤡 You nice keep going.

Anonymous said: so, either taeyara shit happens or y/ntae shit happens... bro lowkey kinda wanna have y/ntae just to piss jk the fuck off man like fuck u jungkook

Anonymous said: I can’t wait for this Bitchin update. You better heal my heart. After last time, I shouldn’t trust you, but I’m placing my heart in your hands once again. Don’t hurt me. Jk you’re the best. I love you.

Anonymous said: When I say I'm not ready for pt. 9 of bitchin' I mean, FUCKKKKKKKKK NO I DON'T WANNA CRY STILL CRYING OVER PT. 8 😫

Anonymous said: It's a shame to do this while i'm drunk but i just want you to know that i love you and i will probably Fall asleep when you Will post pt 9 of bitchin' but i really really love the way your posts and your writing make me smile, giggle and dmkdldldldldlldldldldl scream when theres no Word to descrinw how i feel. I love you, please, have a great night know that you maks my heart boom boom 🥺🥺🥺💜💜💜

cheeky-kookie said: I re read Bitchin' 8 and almost cried because Jungkooks heart was breaking slowly I just- Hes an idiot but he cares for MC

Anonymous said: if kiri doesn’t drop dead in this chapter imma take matters into my own hands 😡 also chop off jungkook’s dick, he doesn’t deserve it

paolaa9700 said: Don’t gonna lie, I hate you for making me wait for the new chapter of Bitching until 4am (in my country). But you think I’m gonna stay awake until that hour just for that? Well you are right cause I’m gonna freaking wait. I’m already so nervous oh my god, oh my god! I can’t put in words how nervous and happy Im 😂

Anonymous said: mskjxjsmksksdkdjndlskxjbfbjc i just read pt.8 of bitchin and eye- fuck why did you do that to me? 😭 (also i think i’m new here, but i just want to say i’ve been reading your work for almost an entire year and it never ceases to amaze me! 💗)

tinievmin said: YOUR NEW THEME IS SO CUTE OMG!!! Also, I’m so excited for bitchin’ pt 9 but I’m terRIFIED THAT ILL STILL BE MAD AT JK ))):

rebekahoofblog said: im READY for pt 9, got my reminder SET. bitchin makes me wanna draw jungkook until i pass out boutta make more fanart i love ur writing the most 💞💞have an amazing day

#ask

4 notes · View notes

simkjrs · 6 years

Text

msa ch5 asks (and others)

Anonymous said: AAA FROM 'MEET ME IN THE WOODS'- i know that lyrics!!!!! nice!!

*finger guns* nice!!

Anonymous said: -also thank you for existing you beautiful beautiful person! 😘

i think i might have accidentally deleted (or answered separately?) the first half of this ask but nonetheless thank you

Anonymous said: OK first thing: the chapter was awesome! amazing job! Second thing: the entire chapter was basically deku 'mildly' freaking out while being thoroughly pissed the entire time

it really and truly was. izuku as that one macro that’s like “this string is held up through pure stress alone”

Anonymous said: mr compress weeb confirmed

look at his custom made villain costume and tell me he isnt that kind of guy

Anonymous said: god. Msa!izuku is /fifteen fucking years old/ and he has to deal with /so much shit/. Can someone just put him to bed and let him nap for a year, maybe

yes! maybe not a year though.

Anonymous said: God bless the new chapter gutted me and the flipped me inside out showing my true form, that of a big fan. Thank you for the blessing that is MSA

this is such a gruesomely funny image. thank you

Anonymous said: hey just read msa for the around the 9th time. you ar e so good at writing, the way you write character interaction is incredible. you should be proud. this is literally the best thing ive ever read.

THATS SO MANY TIMES, IM ASTONISHED YOURE NOT SICK OF IT YET!!! i hate staring at my writing too long it starts feeling all faded out and boring!! im really happy to hear you like it so much!

Anonymous said: As soon as Izu/ku woke up on the table I started screeching simk. Not okay!!!

haha im so sorry!!!! but overhaul literally wouldve experimented on ai/zawa and he DID experiment on eri this is completely in character of him

Anonymous said: Overhaul/Skin Beast: hi yeah can I get a fucking uuuuuhhhhhhhh experiments/faces? Izuku: Experiment machine 🅱roke *flies away with eri*

completely accurate summary of the chapter

Anonymous said: every day I long to become the amount of salty msa izuku is

valid but every day i long for msa izuku to receive the love and support that he needs

Anonymous said: sweetie noooooooo

i have no idea what part of the chapter this is referring to but first of all, big mood, and second of all, valid

Anonymous said: hello you hurting because so am i!

i am hurting. while i was writing the chapter i kept looking at the screen like “i’m doing this? i’m really going to do this?” but overhaul is like that and i cant deny him the one salient characterization point he has

Anonymous said: UNICORN DAUGHTER HAS BEEN RESCUED THANK ITS GREAT

[my longest yeehaw ever]

Anonymous said: Since I might not get any sleep tonight because of flight plans and I might forget tomorrow and the next day, Happy thanksgiving! I'm thankful for your awesome stories~

Anonymous said: Happy Thanksgiving! I remembered!

happy thanksgiving!! im thankful that you enjoy my stories <3

Anonymous said: good job! i love it. and i’m crying. where did all this blood come from?

We Are All crying blood at this chapter

Anonymous said: Just read the new chapter and all I want to do is keysmash into your inbox. The chapter! Was so good! Izuku being sassy and angry and traumatized but still trying! And Eri! I'm so glad she's with Izuku now. Deku-niisan! I don't have words! And Rappa? Rappa! Also, that poem you linked is really neat. Grow up grow strong and focus your fury. Kind of feel like this is the theme for these two trauma children. Great work!

someone in the comments described izuku as “thoughtlessly kind” and i was VERY emotional over that because it’s such an excellent descriptor of the kind of person izuku is... he’s still trying, because that’s just who he is

deku-niisan to the rescue :^)

i’m really glad you enjoyed the chapter! thank you!

@zintiay submitted: Normally I get really annoyed when a character refuses to use an ability that would let them fairly easily deal with those around them. In this case though, you have done a really good job displaying why he doesn’t want to use this option, as well as what it takes for him to be willing to use it, that I mostly feel sad for deku that he was forced to let Eri’s spirit possess him, instead of getting caught up in the hype of an awesome moment

Honestly though, that’s also my reaction to the chapter as a whole. It was full of interesting world building and was generally an awesome chapter, but it was also well written enough that I also feel Izuku’s emotions and mostly just feel melancholy now.(Seriously, when I look back on it, “I invite you in” opened the gateway to an awesome and well deserved ass kicking, but it’s mostly just heart breaking. Why can’t I just enjoy Izuku kicking ass? Why?)

ahaha yeah, i try to have good reasons for why characters do or don’t take certain actions, and this whole fusion thing is something he keeps REALLY close to his chest... i’m glad that carried across well! it is very sad though that he feels cornered into using this ability.

thanks for reading!

Anonymous said: Just wanted to say thank you. I think this sounds weird, but you finishing up chapter 5 of msa actually helped motivate me and I managed to finish my essay for a class.

OH? i’m glad to hear that! congrats on finishing the essay!

Anonymous said: This chapter was so fucking perfect I'm crying diamonds. What in all heavens and hells are you, you godly creature? I am so bloody happy you exist in this world. In this time line. I love your stories so damn much!

thank you so much!! i’m really happy to hear this <3

Anonymous said: I love how just Done with everything msa Izu/ku is with everything. The fact that the only person he treats like a Person and not another threat to his Cryptid Status is Er/i and he just brings her home. I just. I LOV UR WRITING OK

it’s because eri pings None of his danger senses and All of his “i have to do something about this” senses. izuku is constitutionally incapable of helping someone in need.

and thank you!! i’m glad you like it!

Anonymous said: I hope you know that i was able to read about half a page before i fucking died laughing i lov msa de/ku so much

i try to serve my darkfic with a large side of comedy

Anonymous said: I have the vivid image of msa Deku running into Aizawa by accident and just slowly walking backwards before turning to the sky and yelling "I HAVE DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY! I! DO NOT! HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT AS WELL!!!" while Aizawa slowly comes to the conclusion that he must adopt and save this troubled child.

this is hilariously close to some future scenarios i have in mind

Anonymous said: seeing a new chapter of msa honestly made my heart skip a beat in excitement. i have SO MANY questions and thoughts about this universe, i think i could ask you questions for hours, it sparks my imagination and curiosity in the best way. but for now, i just wanted to sincerely thank you for choosing to share your story and thoughts and ideas with all of us! it's always a delight, and i don't take it for granted at all. thank you, and i'm wishing you all the best always!!

thank you so much for this message!! it always makes me happy to know that others are enjoying this story as much as i am <3 i hope the best for you as well!

Anonymous said: What I expected in MSA ch.5: PAINPAINPAINPAINPAIN What I got: PAINPAINPAIN also Izuku adopts Eri, and Rappa for some reason (or did he adopt them!?!? DUNDUNDUN)

i cant publish a chapter without doing something a little fun, right?

also im laughing at the idea of izuku adopting rappa, a fully grown man, as opposed to the other way around. izuku would hate this concept if anyone ever said it to him.

Anonymous said: so is msa iz/uku's tragic backstory basically being a walking disaster for all of his life until the point where he would have, in canon, met all might, and the msa version of the all might/one for all is the Temple and the subsequent ShitStorm™?

nope! the temple is something else

Anonymous said: 💖💖💖💖💖💓💖💓💓💕💕💓💕💕💕💝💝💞💝💟💟💟💟💟💟💞💝💝💝💝💝💟💟💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘❤❤❤❤💙💚💚💚💛💙💚💜💚💛💚💜💙💜💚💟💞💗💞💟💟💜💚💛💚💘❤💘❤❤❤💞💟💝❤

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Anonymous said: i was stuck in a car for 3+ hours tonight but when i saw msa ch5 was up i was so excited, i spent the whole ride reading and re-reading it, it’s fantastic and you are too! <3

wow thats some dedication!! i hate reading in the car. thank you and im glad you liked it!!

Anonymous said: simk pls tell me we get roommate shananigans it would make my entire life. just a tired teen, a middle age man literally off the street, and their prepubescent daughter/little sister/niece/etc.

oh yes absolutely. this is a vital part of the au. don’t forget the cat

Anonymous said: hi hello i just want to say that your writing is amazing and gives me life and i get really really really excited every time you update. thanks for blessing us with such good fic <3

thank you so much!! i’m super glad to hear <3

Anonymous said: so izuku not only has eri but also the guy most likely to have been in kumite from bloodsport at his place. great job kiddo. (i mean that both genuinely and sarcastically)

izuku’s existence just naturally warps the reality he lives in into a circus show

Anonymous said: thanks to that one ask i can't stop laughing at the scenario of msa izu trying to get groceries and is seen by kiri / aizawa / tbh any hero. rappa and eri is with him and izu just stares at the heroes dead in the eye and leaves the place. he swears to never return there ever again

also hilariously close to some scenarios im contemplating

Anonymous said: DID MSA!DEKU EVER CATCH A BREAK ONCE IN HIS LIFE??? DID THAT EVER HAPPEN, SIMK. OVERHAUL IS UP THERE W ENDEAVOR I CANT BELIEVE U MANAGED TO MAKE ME HATE HIM THIS MUCH SNAKDNANFKW (btw? how much of a fucking RIOT would it be if the heroes did the exact same thing in canon, and when it came to the actual retrieving eri part theyd just find someone waving frantically "SHES ALREADY GONE, YOU IMBECILES. YOU FOOLS"

overhaul is easily hatable if you just extrapolate from his canon actions. cant wait for him to get fucking clowned

i think it would be really funny but kind of depressing if the heroes did that. izuku please help them

Anonymous said: u really dont fuck around, do u, simk?? this is really a chapter that i just read i really saw him getting experimented on by overhaul for real??? I REALLY SAW HIM DISMISS IT AS IF IT WAS ANY OTHER DENIAL WEDNESDAY???? DID THAT BOY EVER CATCH ONE (1) BREAK IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE?? also DAMN! HE Really Fucking Did That HUH HE BUSTED HER OUT OMG.. CANT WAIT FOR THE SIBLING RELATIONSHIP FEELINGS THING :') (also how much of a fucking RIOT wld it be if the heroes busted eri out but (1/2)

but when they ARE actually at the 8ps hq they just?? dont find her??????and everyone there is like "SHES ALREADY GONE YOU IMBECILES. YOU FOOLS." (2/2)

i really dont fuck around!! i hope!! i decide on a track and i stick to it!! as soon as i finished the first scene i knew that overhaul was going to Do That and i spent a few days agonizing over it and asking myself if i was really ready to go all the way with this. if i was really going to write it! i did write it. i am still occasionally in disbelief.

yes. sibling relationship all the fuckin way

Anonymous said: Is what happened at the temple the thing that made MSA Izuku give up on being a hero?

nah izuku giving up on being a hero is more just pessimism, cynicism, and paranoia trained into him by years and years of dealing with spirits and believing that he shouldn’t exist

Anonymous said: this is all really silly but uhh,,, isn't izuku loosing credits? has his mother been informed of his absences? does he have anyone who can help him catch up with the missed material? is our boy going to graduate?

i dont really know how credits work in japanese schools, or how the absences thing works... he’ll be fine though, pinky promise

Anonymous said: Eri pulls back and looks up at them curiously. “Deku?” They peer down at her. She’s so small! She’s so near! “You look different. You…” She reaches up, and they bend down obligingly. Her hand touches something attached to the skull above the eyes -- my horn, the kirin whispers. “You have a horn like me,” she says, full of wonder, and touches it again. THIS ENTIRE FUCKING PART GOT MY HEART BEATING SO FAST. I LOVE THEM!!!! ILOVE HOW ERIS SPIRIT IS NOT A TOTAL ASSHOLE TOO!!!

trauma kid solidarity!!!! i am so excited for these two you have no idea

i, too, love it when a spirit shows a basic modicum of decency and is NOT Like That to izuku

Anonymous said: "neptune" by sleeping at last gives me very kiri/msa!deku vibes

cool, i’ll check it out!

Anonymous said: Angry msa!izu/ku: acts like an alley cat, threatens to break a villain's dishes, talks a lot of bullshit, also kind of sad and depressed. Angry™ msa!izu/ku: frightens the hell out of everyone just by looking at them, makes everyone question their life choices, makes them feel small and insignificant and makes fun of said life choices, not exactly human.

yeah. i love msa izuku and his anger is Valid

Anonymous said: This chapter: Rappa: fight me MsaIzuku: no Rappa: fight me pls MsaIzuku: no Rappa: let me fight the people around you? MsaIzuku:....... Fine

this is a really great summary of that conversation

Anonymous said: Izuku's threat to throw all of M. Compress' dishes on the floor like that is the Worst thing you can do to someone made my entire day thank you

i’m really glad because this was the funniest threat i could think of besides “i’m going to break into your home and piss on your bed”

Anonymous said: HE'S JUST A KID SIM

you know i had to do it to ‘em picture

Anonymous said: Msa is just so so amazing!?!? I honestly love it so much. The way you write is so wonderful and it's practically doubled by the fact that the entire idea for the au is also wonderful. Izu is amazing and I love him. Thank you thank you thank you :')

aahhh im really happy you like it!! thank you for reading & supporting!!

Anonymous said: Rappa: "let me join you" ; msa!Izuku: "absolutely fucking not" ; Rappa: "I can be ur meat shield" ; msa!Izuku: *clenching and unclenching his fist, glaring up at the god he does not believe in as he leads Rappa and Eri to his home* "I fucking hate you"

izuku’s one weakness... trying to help others

Anonymous said: iirc, guardian spirits are bound to their respective charges by proximity but can still move around, but do they have to be close by when the quirk is used? Or will the quirk not be as effective?

nah, they don’t need to be nearby, one cool effect of being bound to a human is that the human has a store of the guardian spirit’s energy

Anonymous said: Thoughts on the game OFF? Played it recently and it gave me Msa!spirit world vibes. The use of man made substances making up the natural world (e.g drinking plastic not water) just really stuck with me as something bizarre and very second intonation like. Although if you do explore the spirit world I guess you might have something maybe more mythological in mind? (Also the soundtrack is stunningly eerie).

never played OFF but i love its aesthetic so much

Anonymous said: I'm gonna print msa out and it eat it. gochisousama

pfft itadakimasu

Anonymous said: Hahahah holy shit that new chapter dialed things up to, like, 22 instead of 11 holy shit izuku oh no. (“Achievement Unlocked: 5+ Levels Of Trauma Added At Once!” msa!izuku: can I get a, uuuuhhhhhhh, refund?) skin creature is super creepy and perfect fit. Btw, side thought - however the heroes find out abt this whole mess, I bet they feel really guilty (shit, izuku puts foot in mouth and accidentally says smth. Kiri: horrified izuku: makes it worse by trying to leave topic) thx I Love it. V good!

once i committed i had to go all the way...

the ensuing conversations between izuku and the heroes are probably going to be kind of funny, and also a little sad. im looking forward to it. thank you for reading!

Anonymous said: Okay, I'm just catching up on the recent chapters of msa and this is what I've been getting so far Everyone: you have to understand- Msa izuku, restrained: no

correct. msa izuku refuses to accept your terms

Anonymous said: Ahaha, geez, MSA chapter 5 was A M A Z I N G. Poor Izuku. Geez, the scene where he's tossed into his cell and just spends fifteen minutes crying and freaking out hurt so bad. And he remembered to (try and) call for help!!! Hopefully he tries again in the future, when it'll work (hopefully). I also got very excited by the Kirin!!! Like, holy smokes!!! Someone who actually doesn't want Izuku to suffer, and is willing to take steps to make that happen!! Yes good!! Plz timewalker protect this child

thanks carwash for being like the only friend izuku has

the relationship between izuku and the different spirits hanging around his house is probably going to be pretty fun. i know i’ve pulled a lot of bullshit in the past two chapters but i still have some new fuckery to introduce. i hope you are all excited for this

Anonymous said: would any other human be able to learn to speak in the second intonation in the msa au? Did msa deku learn the second intonation from someone, or is it just something he's always known?

1) good question! i haven’t decided yet. 2) he learned from someone else! who you will find out soon

Anonymous said: me: nobody has to get owned today. please, please put down the markers and step back msa izuku: Fuck oyu.

i totlaly forgot this was a thing but you know what? yeah. im laughing this is such a fitting quote

Anonymous said: you know by far one of the best aspects of msa izuku is just. He is a constant Power Move. and yet he would probs hate that. like this boy wants to be left alone and get some fuckin peace but in all his interactions whether he intends to or not he just fuckin busts a fuckin Move and its like holy shit holy fucking shit he did that.he did That. He doesnt want to do That he doesnt even realize its happening and thats why its a fuckin Power Move. Love this au i LOVE ur work and love ur storytelling

reminds me of @salvainterra‘s description of izuku: “izuku is both an unstoppable force and an immovable object and its through this paradoxical existence that hes reached the ultimate tier of not giving a fuck. good on him”

thats the secret behind it all!

Anonymous said: I love msa chapter five but I'm so worried about Izuku. He's a single teen parent of two now and he keeps missing school, how will he graduate and get in a position to follow his dreams of being alone and doing calligraphy if he misses so much of school that he doesn't get a diploma???

he will be ok!

hey im really laughing at this because youre really including rappa as one of the people izuku adopted?? is this a thing now??

Anonymous said: (in msa) I am so glad you had Izuku save Eri omg. that poor child has been through enough (but also, omg the suffering you're putting Izuku through (it's great, keep going)). I'm super keen to see where you take this!!

i know im really putting izuku through the paces. while i was writing the first half of ch5 i kept telling myself that this was all for eri’s sake but MAN that was dark

thank you! im excited to pull some more bullshit. im glad you’ve been enjoying the story so far!

Anonymous said: Me reading the new msa chapter: ‘a family can be a Kirin, a girl who can disintegrate people, a supernatural teenager, a street brawler and perpetual sadness’ seriously tho it was really great and I loved it!!!

MFLNDLFKSDJF AND PERPETUAL SADNESS IM LOSING IT!!!

don’t forget the mysterious shadow spirit who may or may not be a cat

i’m really glad you liked the chapter!!

Anonymous said: bc of allmights style i think of one for all's spirit just being a fucking american on the fourth of july with american flags everywhere and waving a minature flag threateningly and i cant stop thinking about it....

fortunately for us, that is incorrect

Anonymous said: "Okay I've finally caught up on the backlog of work I've got, let's check in on my favourite blog and writer SIMKJRS and see what they're up to recently." *sees that you updated like a week ago* aaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

jflskdfj glad you’re excited for this!! i know i only update like once in a blue moon,

Anonymous said: hey i just want to say that i love everything about msa; the writing, the story, the imagery, ALL OF IT thank you for making such a wonderful gift!

thank you!! im grateful for your support <3

#ask #ask compilation #msa stuff #msa ch5 #feedback #thank you all for the support...#some really good gems in here

110 notes · View notes

writings-andstuff · 7 years

Text

Coincidences Part II (Bucky x Reader)

You guys have waited way too long for this and for that I’m sorry. But here it is, so I won’t start it with my usual long-winded preamble.

Happy Reading!

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (Modern AU thingy)

Words: 5046 (yikes, that’s the longest fic I’ve ever written)

Warnings: The usual tiny bit of swearing

Excerpt: For a moment, you wonder how this became your life. Yesterday, you were just another girl worrying about everything except her lack of a love life. Now that’s all you can think about because you’re flirting with a complete stranger. How insanely insane is that? For all you know, he could be a forty-something year old dude with three ex-wives and a beer-belly that could carry triplets. Somehow, though, you don’t think that’s likely.

Series Tags: @melanie451 @sebstanwassup @colagirl5 @winenighthoe @lovemarvelousfics @gotnotfeature @sebastianst-n @alwayshave-faith @hollycornish @iggytheboywonder

Tags: @langinator @fairchild21

Your name: submit What is this?

New Message from Mr. Catarcs

3:42 a.m u up?

You blink your eyes blearily and shift in bed. The sheet is wrapped around your legs like sweaty vines, constricting your movement. You growl angrily and throw them off, sitting up and relishing in the cool air of your apartment. Despite the frigid cold outside, you somehow still manage to wake up sweating. Maybe you’re a mutant.

Glancing over at your phone, it dings again to impatiently let you know that you still haven’t opened the text that woke you up. Usually your phone is switched to silent because of your job at the diner. There are always so many phones going off that it’s almost impossible to tell which is which. It’s just easier having your phone on silent because then you’re never worried about whether your phone is ringing or if it’s someone else’s. It saves you a lot of unnecessary anxiety.

But ever since last night’s conversation with James, you decided that you wanted to hear your phone ring with a text. It’s the first time in your life that you don’t want to miss a text.

You pick up the offending piece technology and swipe it open. Sure enough, the text is from James and you grin despite the fact that this message is the same one that woke you at—you squint at your alarm clock—3:49 a.m.

Deciding you are both thirsty and in need of some time in the open air of your apartment and not under the suffocating sheets, you get up and stretch. The floors are cold as you pad to the kitchen and fill a glass with water, shooting a text back to James.

3:51 a.m I am now

You wait for an answer while downing your glass of water and putting the empty glass in the sink again. Maybe he fell back asleep when you didn’t answer right away.

For a moment, you wonder how this became your life. Yesterday, you were just another girl worrying about everything except her lack of a love life. Now that’s all you can think about because you’re flirting with a complete stranger. How insanely insane is that? For all you know, he could be a forty-something year old dude with three ex-wives and a beer-belly that could carry triplets. Somehow, though, you don’t think that’s likely.

You have no proof of this, and absolutely no reason to believe he isn’t a creep except for a gut feeling. You resolve to ask his age whenever he decides to answer you.

You think about that. He could lie to you and tell you that he’s 20 when he’s really a lot older than that. The only way you’d truly know is if you meet him in person.

Suddenly you’re a little dizzy. This is just way too much to worry about at four a.m. You decide to just talk to him. You genuinely like his personality, and you don’t have to worry about all that other stuff until you actually meet him. If you actually meet him. That’s a big, neon-colored, flashing sign in the middle of absolute nowhere if.

Your phone dings and you look over from where you’re clutching the counter. You don’t notice how hard you were gripping the counter until you pull your palms away and it stings, lines etching themselves across your palm.

4:03 a.m srry didnt mean to wake u

Before you can even formulate a response, he’s texting you again. A double text. Gasp.

4:04 a.m just couldnt sleep. i was wondring if u wanted to talk

You tilt your head at your screen. He’s up in the middle of the night, and the first thing he does is text you? Why? Does he not have other people he can talk to? A stupid part of you, the same part that wants to meet him in person, thinks that maybe it’s because he wants to talk to you.

Maybe he does. Probably not. It’s too much to hope for. All his other friends are probably asleep. Regardless, not answering is not an option. Well, it is, but it’s not one you’re likely to explore, not when your chest has those freaky bubbles in it and your stomach is doing that stupid flippy-thingy. Nope. This, you decide, feels like High School when a cute boy texted you first and the instinct to giggle shot up to level 12.

4:06 a.m alright. what about?

Capitals, Y/N. What the hell happened to capitals?

You take your phone and pad back into your room, perching yourself up against the headboard with your knees drawn up to your chest and your phone in your hands as you wait for a response. Worrying your bottom lip, your mind drifts to work. You’ll have to get up in about three hours to be at work on time. Man, you’re going to be tired.

It’s then that your phone dings. You decide then that talking to him makes it worth the fatigue.

4:11 a.m twenty questions?

4:11 a.m Fine, but since you woke me up you have to go first.

The three dots that mean he’s typing pop up three different times before the response finally comes through.

4:15 a.m whatd u go to school 4?

You laugh.

4:15 a.m getting down to the nitty gritty personal stuff I see

You think for a moment. Telling him what you do isn’t divulging too much about yourself, so you decide it’s okay.

4:16 a.m lol yup thats me. i want the deep personal stuff. might just ask what ur fav color is nxt

4:16 a.m 1. editing; 2. sorry, that’s sacred info

4:17 a.m 1 ah i understand y ur a grammar nazi now…2 obviously

Thinking for a moment, you decide that favorites are just too cliche. Any conversation anyone has with some new friend ends in questions that start with “What’s your favorite…” You really want to know how old he is, but you figure you need an ice breaker before you get to the actual nitty gritty.

First, though, you must take the bait to piss him off:

4:19 a.m What would you have done if I hadn’t gone to college?

With a yawn, you lie back down and curl on your side, sitting your phone on the nightstand in front of you with your eyes glued to it. Once you realize that staring at it isn’t going to make him type faster, you turn over.

You’re totally not too eager. There’s no—

Ding!

You flip over so fast that you rip the sheet from the other side of the bed and end up with half of it between your stomach and the bed. It pulls from the bottom corner of the bed and is slightly uncomfortable, but you don’t care.

4:22 a.m high school?

4:23 a.m I didn’t go to high school FOR anything

You’re not sure if the use of caps-lock is weird, but you send it off anyways, deciding that emphasis on that one word is crucial to your meaning. He replies within seconds.

4:23 a.m i mean dunno bout u but i went to learn

You laugh, probably louder than is necessary.

4:24 a.m Touche. What’d you go to school for?

4:26 a.m repeating questions isnt alowed

Frowning, you wonder if he actually didn’t go to college. Should you push it? Maybe you should just change the question. There’s a part of you, the curious part that wanted to be a reporter when you were young, that really wants to know.

There isn’t too much time for you to think all of that before he’s texting you again. Usually, you’re the one to mercilessly double-text. James, it would seem, has you beat in this department. Also, you didn’t want to double-text a complete stranger.

Before you even look at the text, it hits you again: this is a complete stranger. The thought of not answering enters your mind again, but you push it down. No harm in just talking if neither of you meet, right? Right?

Right.

4:27 a.m i joined the military right out of HS

It’s a real Oh moment, and you find yourself staring at your screen as if it’s a real person. The military? What are you supposed to say to that? What’s the protocol for a text that you’re not sure how to answer? Should you just leave it alone? No; if you leave it alone then he’ll think he freaked you out. He hasn’t. Your brain is just short-circuiting on an answer.

Should you think him for his service? No. Not yet. You don’t want to call too much attention to it in case he doesn’t want to talk about it or he’s had bad experiences, but you’re still not sure how to respond. Have you taken too long already?

You summon up some courage and type out a message.

4:31 a.m Oh wow. Well, what would you have studied if you had gone?

You cringe, totally not meaning for that to sound like you were completely skipping over the issue altogether. James doesn’t seem to mind though, if his response is any indication.

4:32 a.m hmm history i think. ive always liked ww2 4 some reason

4:33 a.m well you’ve got AP european history girl right here. 1 of only 11 in the whole senior class to take it.

4:34 a.m well, smartypants i get 2 q’s bc u asked 2

You feel that you handled that effectively, and you were already beginning to formulate a plan in your head while he thought about his questions.

See, you know next to nothing about the military or what it’s all about except that it is for valiant people who want to serve their country. You can respect that, but you want—nay, need—to learn more. Convincing yourself that it’s purely for research purposes and not for anything else.

Regardless, you need to know more. It’s probably better to get it from someone who has been through it rather than from some cold, impersonal online source. And besides, you just so happen to know someone who was in the military. Someone who, in fact, lost a limb in the line of duty: Bucky Barnes.

As far as you know, Bucky lost his left arm in the military. You’d asked him before how he lost it and he hadn’t answered you, opting instead to change the subject to Steve and his new (at the time) art studio. It had been suspicious, but you understand that it must not be easy to speak about something like that.

You’ll have to go talk to Steve tomorrow morning to get Bucky’s number, but you think that maybe you’ll treat him to lunch in exchange for him giving you some details about the whole military thing. At the company, you get an hour off for lunch, which is just enough time to go out, interrogate a friend (respectfully, of course), and head back before the hour is up.

The plan was formed and you had your head already set on it. By the time James’ reply comes in, you’ve tuckered yourself out thinking that whole plan out. It is really late—er, early—after all.

4:41 a.m 1 how was ur day 2 how r u likely to spend a friday night

4:43 a.m I feel like I’m taking a Buzzfeed quiz

You yawn again and type out your answers.

4:44 a.m my day’s just begun. it’s four a.m. And probably reading or something

You put your phone down, thinking that you’ll just leave it there and wait for his reply, but you end up turning over and falling asleep.

In the morning, you turn your phone on silent again while you get ready for work, playing some music while you apply some light make-up.

It turned out that James hadn’t answered you anyway, so you would have been up waiting for a text that wasn’t going to come. Good thing you passed out.

Glancing at the clock, you notice that it’s 7:02 a.m and that Steve should be up. You don’t have to be at work until 8 and it’s not a long bus ride to get to work so you figure you can spare half an hour to haggle your best friend into giving up Bucky’s phone number. You wonder why you haven’t thought to get it sooner, figuring that you just never needed it.

You and Bucky only ever hung out with Steve or the rest of the gang. He was a friend of yours, but the two of you had never been too close in the two years of knowing each other. That said, you had heard a lot about each other even before meeting from Steve, and Bucky had expressed in the past how annoying he found it when Steve was constantly mentioning you in casual conversation.

It was the same with Bucky for you. Steve had been talking about his best friend Bucky ever since you had met him. It was in that way that you and Bucky had gotten to know each other sort of inadvertently.

Heading out the door and across the hall, you knock on Steve’s door lightly a few times. He’s a light sleeper anyways, and you don’t want to wake the whole hall with loud knocking. You only opt for knocking this time in case he’s not decent or something. Otherwise, you would have used your key.

Sure enough, Steve answers the door within a few minutes, clad in flannel pajama pants, a white V-neck, and holding a steaming cup of coffee. It smells amazing, and you realize then that in your rush you’d forgotten to make yourself some.

“Got another one of those and half an hour?”

Steve raises an eyebrow but steps aside to let you in. He’s a morning person, so you were sure on your way over here that you wouldn’t receive any resistance.

“What do you need?” he asks you, pouring you a cup of coffee not unlike how he’d done it the night before. He pours in a generous amount of milk and some sugar before stirring it and handing it to you, just the way you like it.

Blow, sip—“Mm,” you hum. “I need Bucky’s phone number.” You say it as nonchalantly as you can manage so as not to raise any flags to Steve, but by his surprised expression you can tell that you’ve raised them all.

“Bucky? Why?”

You shrug like it’s no big deal. “He has some info that I need.” It sounds so covert and cheesy that you almost giggle, but you manage to keep your composure while sipping your coffee again.

Steve tilts his head to the side almost imperceptibly, leaning his back against the counter across from you as you sit at a stool by his island. Said island juts out from a wall to half-enclose the kitchen area like a wrap-around ‘J’ with the island as the tail.

After a few moments of silence, it becomes clear that Steve is waiting for you to elaborate, and when you don’t indulge, he sighs, setting his cup down and crossing his arms.

“Okay, but don’t call him now,” Steve says, already ruffling in a drawer for a pen and paper. “He—he has trouble sleeping, and he needs as much of it as he can get before he has to work. And he’s taking Friday off so he has to log in more hours to make up the difference.” Steve hands you a piece of paper with numbers scribbled on it.

“Got it,” you said, taking the paper and sticking it in your bag. “Thanks, Steve.”

“Yeah,” he smiles at you. “No problem.”

You stand and head to the door, plan in motion and feeling good about it. Then you remember something and turn as you’re walking toward the door.

“Steve?”

He lifts his head from where he’s still standing in the kitchen sipping his coffee. You realize you’ve left yours there, but decide that it’s okay. You’ll survive. Somehow.

“Yeah?”

“Mom is bringing over pasta around two, but I won’t be home,” you can already see his eyes lighting up. “I told her to make extra and that you should be back by then. Can you—”

“—keep it here until you get home?” He knows you so well, it’s scary. “Yeah, but don’t expect me not to try some of it first.”

You fix him with a warning finger. “I’ll be over at seven and I will expect there to be enough for dinner and lunch tomorrow.”

He holds his hands up. “Hey, we all know my metabolism requires a lot of calories per day, and two is just in time for a late lunch.”

“Steve,” you warn.

“Alright,” he laughs. “I’ll leave some of your mother’s pasta for you for dinner.”

“That’s all I ask.”

You walk back over, kiss his cheek, take one more sip of your coffee, and then leave.

You tap your foot on the ground impatiently as you wait at your desk for the clock to turn from 11:29 to 11:30 so you can head for a bathroom break to call Bucky and find out if he’s busy for lunch.

James hadn’t texted you all day, but you figure that’s okay. He doesn’t always have to text you. He has a life. You push him mostly out of your head, or you try to. You fail miserably.

He’s the reason you’re meeting with Bucky anyways. As much as you don’t want to admit it, that’s the truth. Of course, you can’t tell Bucky that. You’ll just sound stupid. And then Bucky will tell Steve and Steve will have some sort of “talking to strangers is bad” intervention with you. You definitely don’t want to endure that.

11:30 hits and it’s officially been half an hour since your actual bathroom break. You don’t want to call attention to yourself in the office that you share with a whole bunch of other people in too-tightly-packed cubicles. You grab the slip of paper Steve had given you and head to the elevator.

By the time you make it to the downstairs bathroom, you realize that you forgot your phone upstairs on your desk. Great. Now what are you going to do? If you go back up to get it, you’ll look suspicious. Of course, you shouldn’t really care what your coworkers think of you, but you do. Everybody says they don’t care about peer acceptance but most actually do.

It’s human nature.

You sigh angrily and look around. The lobby is all marble floors and a little shop where they sell overpriced snacks and drinks. There’s a desk to the left of the elevator bank with one woman sitting in a black wheelie chair making and taking phone calls.

Can you just ask her to borrow one of her phones? There’s an empty seat next to her. Maybe you can explain your situation and just ask this woman if you can borrow the phone.

The only thing is that you don’t know this woman. Your supers rented the office space with the endless rows of cubicles from the people who owned the building. This woman obviously works for the building management, and not for anyone you know.

You decide it’s better that she doesn’t know you. It’s less personal. You can call Bucky, discuss details, and be done with it.

You sidle over and lean on the high desk. Its polished marble top is so high that you have to lean over it a little to see the woman. She’s plump, with dark hair, blue eyes, and a squished face. She looks the opposite of friendly. She’s wearing a black headset that you realize is some sort of Bluetooth.

You wait until she is done speaking to talk to her.

“Um, hello?”

She doesn’t look at you for a moment, reaching up instinctively as if she thinks you’re in her headset before she realizes she’s speaking to a real person. She eyes you.

“What?”

You were right to guess she wasn’t very friendly.

“I was wondering if I could borrow your phone,” you say kindly. “I have to call someone and I accidentally left my phone upstairs.”

She looks bored and eyes you for another second before looking back at her computer screen. “Just go up and get it.”

“It’s urgent,” you lie. Man, this is going to be awkward after you make the call right in front of her and she finds out its personal.

She eyes you again. “You have five minutes.”

You smile at her. “I’ll only need three.”

You wait as she plops one of the black phones on top of the counter, and it’s so high that you have to go up on your tiptoes to see the number pad.

“Type extension 382 first, then the number.”

With that, she gets back to her work and you pull the phone from the receiver. You flatten the paper on the desk and do as she instructed.

You wonder if he’ll even pick up. This will be an unknown number to him, and you know that if it were you, you wouldn’t answer.

It rings three times before a familiar, gruff voice answers.

“Hello?”

“Bucky? It’s Y/N.”

He sounds surprised. “Y/N?” There’s a pause, a honking noise, and then he sounds as if he’s realized something. “Steve gave you my number.”

“Yeah,” you say. “I had to call you from a work phone, though.”

You catch the woman looking up at you briefly and can tell she’s annoyed that this is a personal call. You’re sure this call needs to be as short as you can possibly make it or else you’re afraid she’ll just cut it herself.

“Oh.”

“Listen, are you busy for lunch in, like, half an hour?”

Bucky thinks for a moment on the other line and the lady looks at you again, her gaze becoming more venomous. You’re pretty sure that once she looks at you a third time she’s going to end your call for you.

Just as you’re about to scold him for an answer, Bucky speaks up.

“Yeah, I’m—”

You feel bad, but you have to cut him off.

“Okay, great. Meet me at the Deli down the street from Steve’s studio at 12 sharp. My treat.”

Bucky chuckled on the other end. “Your treat? What do you need from me?”

You smile despite the situation. “Just your brain.”

“Sure you don’t want Banner or Stark for that one?”

“I’m sure,” the woman was giving you her last angry glare. You had to go. “See you then, Buck.”

“Looking forward to having my brain probed. Bye, Y/N.”

You hang up, thank the lady, and make your way back upstairs as fast as you can. 12:00 can’t come quick enough.

Bucky wonders what you want to talk to him about as he drives a company truck to the deli and parallel parks a couple blocks down. The flatbed of the truck is filled with mismatched pieces of junk, from broken computers to the plastic from the top of a printer. It’s all stuff that can be broken down and reprocessed at a plant.

The city is taking down an old building and putting a new office building up in its place. It’s Bucky’s job as the assistant to take all the not-so-useless junk and dispose of it somewhere where it can be reused.

He doesn’t have to be at the plant until two, and he finished loading everything up early, so he has about two hours or so to spare.

Walking into the Deli, he’s hit with a wave of merciful heat and he immediately pulls his coat off. The deli is small with few patrons a small line for take-out. One woman is sipping an iced coffee through a straw while she types madly on a computer. Two men are sitting at a table wearing yellow vests and eating huge subs. Bucky wonders if he would have ended up as one of them, working for the DPW if he hadn’t begun working with the demolition company.

It takes him barely a moment of looking around to find Y/N sitting in a corner flanked by two windows with an empty seat across from her. There’s a wrapped sandwich and a water sitting on the table in front of the other seat.

She’s smoothing out the wrapper of her own sandwich as if the creases in the paper wrapping are offending and should not be allowed to exist.

“Hey,” he says, walking over and taking a seat in front of her.

She looks up at him and smiles. “Hey,” she shoots back, and then nods to the sandwich. “Got you a BLT.”

Bucky’s suspicions are steadily growing. He pulls the paper from around the sandwich and lays it on the table as Y/N had done, though he couldn’t care less about the creases. He looks between the sandwich and the girl, eyeing both with the suspicion of someone who thinks he’s being played.

“What’s this about?” he asks.

She swallows and puts her sandwich down, looking like she’s about to ask him a ground-breaking, life-changing question. Her eyes quickly flick over to his arm and he’s suddenly very sure he knows what this is about.

But that’s strange. Yesterday—or really early this morning—he was talking to Y/M/N about him having been in the military. Now Y/N is eyeing his arm like she really wants to ask what happened but she doesn’t want to sound impolite.

Then there’s the fact that they’re both editors. That’s weird. And how Y/N reminds him of Y/M/N.

He’s an apopheniac, he has to be. He’s seeing coincidences where there really aren’t any. It’s his brain playing tricks on him. In truth, maybe he just wants this strange girl to be Y/N. Though, probably not. Then again, maybe this whole time he thought he was jealous of Y/N for being so close to Steve, he was really jealous of Steve for being so close to Y/N.

That thought derails him so fast that he doesn’t hear it when Y/N actually asks her question.

She lets out a breath as if it’s a load-off to finally ask him, and he’s struck with the realization that if he says he didn’t hear her, she probably won’t take it well. He waits for her to say something else, but when she doesn’t he takes a leap of faith based on her glance at his arm.

“You want to know how I lost my arm,” he says, rather than asks. If her expression of shock and discomfort is any indication, he’s screwed up.

Big time.

Shit.

“I mean,” she straightens in her chair. “I guess—it’s sorta part of it? Yeah.”

She sounds so lost and he feels so bad.

He still has no idea what her original question was though. ‘Part of it.’ His thoughts drift back to his earlier conversation with the girl he’s been talking to over text. The military. Could that be what Y/N wants to know about?

No, it’s just too weird. There’s no way. But he has to know.

“The military? You want to know about the military?”

She nods, looking slightly guilty. “Yeah,” he tries not to let his breath of relief show, “I—uh, fact-checking. I’m fact-checking an article.”

Bucky nods slowly, sandwich forgotten. She’s a terribly liar. “You’re a terrible liar.”

Sitting back as if she’s been punched in the gut, she blinks once, twice, three times—“I’m not lying.”

“Your body language gives you away.”

“Is that something you learned in the military?”

Bucky chuckles. “That’s something I learned from a whole lot of spy movies. Seriously, why do you want to know?”

She takes a bite of her sandwich and speaks around it. Altogether, not the most sexy, but that’s okay.

“Research,” she says slowly.

Bucky creases his eyebrows. “For?”

“For a project?”

“If you’re going to lie, at least lie with conviction,” Bucky says. “One of these days, I’m going to teach you how to lie the right way.”

Laughing, she pulls her chair in a little more and sits forward. The picture of seriousness, she says, “Alright, if I tell you, you need to promise me you won’t tell Steve.” She sounds reluctant to tell him at all. This must not have been her plan.

Bucky draws a cross over his heart with his index finger. “Cross my heart or hope to die.”

She shakes her head. “Gotta be stronger than that. You have to pinkie promise.”

He gasps dramatically. “Not a pinkie promise. This must really be serious.”

Reaching over, she swats his arm. “Buck, I’m serious.”

“Okay, okay,” he surrenders, holding up his pinkie. She links hers with his and he’s momentarily struck by how soft her skin is. Then it’s over. “Tell me.”

She steels herself, he can see it. Jeez, it must really be something serious or she wouldn’t be swearing him to secrecy using childish, yet efficient tactics. It strikes him that she tells Steve everything, same as him, so for her to say she doesn’t want him to know must mean it’s not necessarily something good.

He lets himself think for a moment that she might be about to confess that she’s the mystery girl he’s been texting. It’s much more likely, though, that she’s about to tell him she’s got feelings for Steve or something.

Steeling himself as well, he waits as she takes a deep breath.

“I may or may not—”

“You may,” he corrects. She glares at him.

“—have answered a text from a guy who was trying to text someone else—”

This is where Bucky stops listening and his internal monologue becomes one word:

Fuck.

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stillcian1675 · 7 years

Text

scrapped; i am you, you are me

This is a Woohyun-centric fic that’s kind of crack. Male idol Woohyun meets female judo/weightlifting female Woohyun (Woohee). It’s terribly cliché with shoujo manga tropes lol. It’s not impossible to continue but I guess it really is quite cliche to the point where I don’t feel like investing more time to write it. And uh, I don’t know, I feel like I unintentionally created a potential love line (or hints of it) with how Woohyun and Woohee stumble into each other and I’m not sure what to do with that.

This is probably like the 3rd Woohyun/Woohyun type (ish) fics I’ve written but this is meant to be platonic? Like Woohyun and Woohee are supposed to just help each other figure out their lives and work through their insecurities, which manifest themselves differently in both of them since they have different circumstances, but which are inherently the same type of insecurity anyway. But given how much words were invested into just how they met each other (1.1k ish below), it would take a long time to get to them knowing each other well, let alone learning of each other’s insecurity and helping each other get through those. So yeah. But I still kind of dig the whole male Woohyun being a little more vain/caring of his appearance while female Woohyun is the other way, she cares too much about proving that she’s strong and cool. But deep down they just want to prove themselves while working against society’s perception of them agggdjlkajkldf I don’t know. I have feels for the premise, not sure what to do with the fic itself.

---

I am you, you are me

To be fair, Woohyun should have realised that something was weird when the shopkeeper of the secondhand shop kept coaxing him to take the mirror by the corner of the shop, even giving him a huge discount for it. Unfortunately, he doesn’t because the lady behind the counter suddenly giggles and then shyly calls him “Woohyun-oppa” behind lowered lashes and he thinks the discount is just a fan trying to be nice. So he takes the mirror, discounted price and all, and brings it home because he’s been meaning to get a full-length mirror for his bedroom anyway. This is how it starts.

Woohyun’s out of the shower, a towel tied around his waist, hair still dripping when he walks past the mirror. Reaching over to his bedside table, he gets a cotton pad, dousing toner on it and begins his nightly routine. As he moisturizes his face, he glances occasionally at the new shiny surface in his room. Over the last year of living alone without a mirror in his room, Woohyun’s gotten used to doing this without a mirror, but now he stares at his reflection as he pats the serum onto his face, because why not? He has little dark smudges under his eyes, he notices, a consequence of writing music and lyrics late into the night and he lightly traces a finger on his puffy undereyes, sighing a little. Figures. He digs out the eye cream he’s gotten lazy with using and dabs on yet another layer of product. After what seems like forever, Woohyun’s finally done, and he’s putting all his little bottles back into his drawer when he suddenly catches sight of something strange.

Was that…something white in the mirror?

This. This is why his mum has told him never to put a mirror in his bedroom, and Woohyun had thought her superstitious but now he’s beginning to sweat a little.

It’s not a ghost, don’t be stupid. Just look up, and you’ll see it’s something lame, maybe a shirt hanging behind, Woohyun mentally chides himself, but he still takes a while before he finally gets the courage to look up. And he immediately startles himself, because –

What the fuck?

He doesn’t fall off his bed, or scream or anything like that, but it’s close. Because, instead of himself reflected in the mirror, there’s someone else. Sure, that someone else has the same face as him, and their eyes are about as wide as his probably are at the moment, but that’s about where the similarities end. Because, that large white t-shirt on their body? Not his; no, he’s in just a loose flimsy towel and nothing else. But that’s not even the weirdest bit. The weirdest bit is, get this – the person in the mirror that looks like him? Has boobs. Boobs. (Boobs which are rather sizable, if you ask him, but maybe that isn’t what he should be focusing on at the moment.)

Woohyun definitely doesn’t scream (he really doesn’t!) but if you ask his neighbours whether they hear a weird strangled cry that night, they’ll tell you that they did.

II.

The first thing Woohee does when she realises the face in the mirror isn’t hers – well, no, it looks like her, sort of, but thinner, more gaunt, with darker circles under the eyes – is to punch it. Granted, that’s not the smartest move – breaking a mirror is seven years of bad luck, or at the very least, a heck lot of cleaning up – and she counts herself lucky that her fist doesn’t reach the reflective surface of the mirror.

(She’s kind of scared to touch the mirror right now anyway.)

The person on the other side of the mirror flinches, as if expecting to be hit, and she blinks, taking a moment to feel bad because she genuinely doesn’t mean to do anything – it’s just a reflex, to punch, if an unbecoming one – and she almost immediately bows in apology until she realises this is a mirror she’s facing.

A mirror that isn’t showing her her own reflection, but some mostly naked guy with a towel around his hips and whose face looks like her, she reminds herself. It sounds like a bad dream.

…wait, dream? On a whim, Woohee pinches herself, yelping in surprise when it hurts, and she stares harder at the mirror – the guy doing the same, curiously – but it doesn’t say anything about why the new mirror her dad got for her is showing something that is distinctly not a reflection of herself or her room. Still in a daze, Woohee reaches for the mirror before she realises what she’s doing.

III.

One moment Woohyun’s staring at the mirror, wondering how it’s even possible that he sees a girl with his frigging face in it, and the next moment he suddenly has an armful of something warm falling onto him. He doesn’t fall with his back to the ground but he does stagger a little, before he realises –

“What the actual fuck?”

The girl is standing in his bedroom. And she’s in his arms. Against his chest. She looks as stunned as he is, eye whites visible around her iris and he steps backwards involuntarily, hands up in the air in defense, as if he hadn’t already touched her accidentally (caught her, okay, prevented her from falling flat on her nose), but apparently he’s not fast enough because he still gets a blow in his jaw.

“Aw, what the hell?”

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry –”

“Do you punch everything you don’t understand?”

The girl looks at him, mouth opened in a look halfway between apologetic and uncomfortable, and Woohyun suddenly realises his towel has dropped in the midst of everything.

Great.

IV.

She tries to avoid her gaze, but it’s kind of hard when the guy has a nice body, lean and muscled.

Nam Woohee, get a grip, now’s not the time.

She clears her throat, getting the guy’s attention, and now that he’s looking at her again, she’s not sure what to say.

“Uh.”

A raised brow, a look passed between her and something behind – right, the mirror – and Woohee turns. There’s a mirror behind her, nothing like the mirror in her room save for the fact that they’re both full-length and it takes her a while to realise that something’s wrong.

“This… is not my room.”

The guy frowns at her like it’s obvious. “Of course not, this is my room. So w-who are you and how did you get here –”

“Did I …pass through the mirror?”

The guy stares at her like she’s crazy. “Are you serious?”

Woohee looks down at her bare feet, realises with a start that she’s wearing only a large t-shirt and shorts because she had been about to sleep. She crosses her arms over her chest. “Well, no I don’t know,” she gets out, slightly annoyed now, “All I know is one moment I was in my room, and then suddenly I’m here.” She pauses. “Where am I anyway?”

#infinite #scrapped #scrapped fics #woohyun-centric #fanfics #my fic #woohyun #nam woohyun #woohee #nam woohee

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kaedekayano · 7 years

Note

001; Kanzaki and Kayano. 002: Gakushuu Asano

oh boy i’m abt to get so excited and emotional fuck adkaldjahdhdjsd

kanzaki/kayano

when I started shipping it if I did: i don’t remember tbh. i always lowkey shipped it haha, but i don’t think i really realised it until @wassailtofivehundred was like !! yukikae !! and also i saw cute fanart and i rewatched a couple episodes (kyoto trip ehh) and i was like, fuck i really ship this. also a lot of it was b/c around december (the time i published be your own hero) i started liking kayano a lot more and then that made me salty bc nagisa/kayano was so poorly written and an injustice to her character. she deserved a person who she had actual chemistry with, and i think kanzaki is definitely that person (or one of them).

my thoughts: pure!! good!! beautiful and amazing!! i love it!! so much!! i’m working on a v v long yukikae kayano-POV fic right now and i’m excited to show it to y’all b/c i have trouble expressing how much/why i love characters/ships until i have a fic to support it, haha. but anyway i think kanzaki is really good for kayano b/c she’s so understanding and caring, and kayano is good for kanzaki because — look they just care so much abt each other okay they’re so Good.

What makes me happy about them: so good. so pure. so beautiful. they’re just healthy for each other and i love the idea of kayano’s best friend supporting her through all the shit she’s gone through because fuck, man, kayano’s mom and sister are dead, the only “friends” she had, she built her friendship on a lie, the teacher she tried to kill and then turned out not to be guilty is dead anyway (bye bye, purpose that kept her going for a year despite all her issues), the person she was for a year was a lie but — not all of it, okay, deep down kaede kayano/akari yukimura is still a good caring person and kanzaki knows it even if she did lie and the two of them supporting each other and I just — yeah

What makes me sad about them: i’m always full of salt about kayano so :/ i don’t like it when people don’t acknowledge the kayano arc happened/kayano’s real personality is very different from the one she pretended to be/she lied to the class for a year? yeah matsui just decided to forget about it and sideline her because he’s a shit writer and what the fuck is continuity, but that doesn’t mean you should follow his example. so it’d be great to see those issues acknowledged!! give me kanzaki understanding kayano did fucked-up things and is a messy person who was not the kind, cheerful, sweet girl she pretended to be and loving her anyway!! (acknowledge and justify the kayano arc for why it happened without throwing logic out the window, and i’ll personally send you a thank-you card)

things done in fanfic that annoys me: there are two fics on ao3 for yukikae, lol (i’m planning to remedy this because inexcusable!!). one is kayano third wheeling karmagisa w/ like 5 lines of actual yukikae (no offense to the author, the fic is fine, it’s just Not Yukikae). the other is green’s fic and admittedly there isn’t a lot of overtly romantic yukikae but it’s a really good fic and there’s good worldbuilding and concepts and y’all should read it

things I look for in fanfic: having it exist. that’s what i’m looking for. that being said, see above rant, because while there aren’t many fics about kanzaki (beautiful daughter pls love her more), there is plenty of fic about kayano and it is almost never accurate. it makes me sad. accurate, well-done characterization is what i Live for

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: both of them, okuda. as previously mentioned, kanzaki, maybe yada? for kaede, rio, also yada, maybe kataoka (it’s mentioned kayano admires her and i don’t think that was a lie, akari seems like the type of girl who recognises and respects strength and competence in people). um. the 3-E girls are all good in general haha, the only person i can think of off the top of my head i’d say no to is okano with kanzaki because okano dislikes her and kanzaki is uncomfortable with that, so. :/ although seeing them work past it (and okano getting past her own insecurities regarding her femininity) would be cool, so even then, i can’t say Absolutely Never. just not nagisa/kayano pls

My happily ever after for them: sometime in their mid/late-20s, they move into an apartment together and own lots of books and cute stationery and various trinkets. also a cat. maybe other pets, like a hamster or a dog. kayano is a successful actress all over again but keeps her relationship with kanzaki not secret but lowkey. kanzaki is away from her parents and likes her job and reads a lot of books. their friends come visit them pretty frequently and the neighbors think they’re adorable. they’re happy.

who is the big spoon/little spoon: omg fuck i suck at this kind of thing. i think kayano would be the big spoon and kanzaki the little spoon but i don’t think they’d mind switching

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: um theyre fond of reading and decorating things (apartment they move into together) and baking and taking walks together. probably taking walks with the dog tbh. that was like 4 i dont know sorry im still in the developing stages of headcanons for these two ive only been highkey invested in this ship for like a month and a half okay

gakushuu asano

How I feel about this character: today i started thinking about him completely out of the blue, with no prompting, and then i sat down and wrote 4 pages in my notebook about an AU where ikeda doesn’t die and gakuhou remains a good dad. last sentence is “in another world, gakushuu asano is healthy and happy and okay.” this is pretty much how i am all day every day i love this child so much he’s just. i see a lot of myself in him (hes relatable okay) and he’s so amazing and brilliant and full of curiosity and potential and i!!! love!!! him!!!! i want him to be happy so much!!! i love him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

All the people I ship romantically with this character: karma (obviously haha), um. fuck. im really fond of renshuu (like really fond) but i usually ship it as ren having a one-sided crush on gakushuu that eventually concludes in ren realising shuu’s crushing unattainability (also i hc gakushuu as ace arospec and he’s kinda ehhh abt romance in general. projecting? me? yeah) and dealing with it and they become really really good best friends even tho it makes ren’s heart hurt a lil bit but mostly its okay. fuck i had a fic abt this i started months ago that i never finished i gotta do that but yeah i envision the virtuosos’ dynamic as being very very complicated in general. oh yeah i cant believe i said i ship karma/gakushuu only once in this post so far so anyway i ship karushuu i love karushuu karushuu is love karushuu is life

My non-romantic OTP for this character: the virtuosos of course its not like i wrote like 1k+ of meta on this hahahaha also gakushuu/isogai, gakushuu/kataoka (why cant we see his respect for her acknowledged as well i know isogai gets his own ep and all but kataoka is still important and is also a class rep :/), gakushuu/nagisa a little bit (i used to be super into it and i still kinda like it), i actually really like the idea of platonic!karushuu because those two are cute boyfriends but working their way from enemies to rivals with grudging respect for each other to best friends?? it’s good

My unpopular opinion about this character: he and karma are not the same person or quite frankly anywhere close to it. there’s lots of parallels they’re good narrative foils but seeing people act like gakushuu is just a recoloured karma makes me sad. pls no my son is so complex and wonderful and different pls pls understand this he’s not just karma akabane with orange hair he’s his own character and such a good one

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: he goes to MIT and is separated from his father’s awful awful toxic influence and lives a happy brilliant successful life and is emotionally okay. i mean it’s not non-canon hahaha but seeing it onscreen would’ve been cool. we can assume that happens anyway tho b/c it’s gakushuu. uhh seeing him interact with his mom onscreen (or like, seeing his mom at all) would’ve been really cool!!! for who i imagine his mom as, i pretty much just think of @cosmicyue‘s hideko asano headcanon :)

my OTP: karushuu obviously. ohh man i love these two nerds so fucking much okay. they hate each other so so much but they also have this respect for each other alright if i start talking about why i ship karushuu (something ive actually never done on this blog bc i dont want people to think im trying to push karushuu on everyone ajdkakdkajsh; theres hardly a shortage of karushuu shippers around) then im gonna b here all day and this is already really long. ill shut up

my cross over ship: none i dont rlly think about AC in relation to other fandoms tbh

a headcanon fact: i have so many. fuck. um one of my favorites (ive mentioned it before but) is that the asanos are both fluent in 3+ languages and they talk shit about people they look down on in those languages when they’re around those people, just to make people uncomfortable.

send me a ship, a character, or five characters

#gakushuu #ac #ask #yukikae #anonymous #also if my complaining abt nagikae bothers anyone (which i totally understand dw) let me know and i'll tag it :)

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