#thank you so much for making the financial part of this hardship easier

[foreverdolly]

i could fucking cry. personal thank you to scout, @abswifey and myka for the gifts to my venmo. genuinely overwhelmed by the love and thoughtfulness. if you give me your @‘s i would love to link you all in this post so that you get all the follows and recognition you deserve for your kindness and selflessness.

#overwhelmed by your kindness #thank you so much for making the financial part of this hardship easier

[dragonfly0808]

Do you have any headcannons for the characters parents? I always imagined Brandon’s parents being a very strong and loving duo basically the opposite of stellas parents

Bloom- We all know Vanessa and Mike are just so supportive and loving and positive so I won’t talk too much about them.

Stella- We been known.

Flora- her biological dad left so yeah, screw him. Her step dad and her mom love each other and are a very healthy relationship. Her step dad is super supportive of her mom’s career and dreams. They put Flora and Mielle above everything else.

Musa- Uh… well they were very loving and supportive and laid back before Wa-Nin passed away after that… her dad lost it… just a little bit.

Tecna- her family are all very loving and above all, accepting. Tecna is autistic, Naten has ADHD and I think Zila would be very anxious earlier in life but all of their lives were a lot easier thanks to their parents being so willing to make adjustments, like always asking before touching Tecna, making sure Naten has healthy outlets for his infinite energy, teaching Zila grounding techniques, etc. They are just a very healthy family.

Aisha- her mom is way too controlling and that has impacted Aisha in a pretty bad way. I headcannon that her parents had an arranged marriage and, while they do care for each other and are friends, there were never a lot of romantic feelings there.

Sky- his dad is… yeah. His mom is pretty absent since she’s very silent and complaicent. They had an arranged marriage and straight up are indifferent towards one another.

Brandon- his parents are very loving. They struggle financially cause Eraklyon sucks but have never taken it out on one another and if anything, their hardships have brought them closer.

Helia- His parents are Specialists and they absolutely adore each other but would get into fights over how to raise Helia, with his dad wanting him to be a traditional Specialist and start his training very early on and his mom wanting him to have more freedom. They went to family therapy after Helia’s suicide attempt and things are a lot better now for everyone. Though they both still feel guilt over what happened.

Riven-…………… well…. His dad was kicked out of Red Fountain and his mom got pregnant right as she graduated Cloud Tower and things were rarely good. Riven’s mom just decided to leave eventually.

Timmy- his parents are a bit absent and their love has faded a bit over time, though they still love each other, they just don’t express it very often. They are a rich couple that cares a lot about image and public opinion. They do have their moments in which they are truly as in love as they were in the beginning, but those are kinda rare. For the most part they just kind of do their own thing.

Nabu- His parents didn’t have an arranged marriage and are both very buisness oriented and they kinda worked together and built their buisness from the ground up and become very successful. They love each other a lot but aren’t very expressive people, so they can come across as cold with each other.

#Winx club #winx #winx rewrite #winx headcannon #winx bloom #winx stella #winx flora #winx musa #winx tecna #winx aisha #winx sky #winx brandon #winx helia #winx riven #winx timmy #winx nabu

[apolonia102812-newsletter]

Got Life Insurance? You May Not Have Enough

Your workplace life insurance policy may not be enough if anyone relies on your income or the care you provide.

You probably need life insurance if your death would cause financial hardship to someone else. If the only coverage you have is through your job, though, you may not have enough.

Fortunately, buying life insurance has gotten easier in some ways during the pandemic. Plus, coverage may be cheaper than you think.

The rising COVID-19 death toll has led more people to at least think about their life insurance needs, and many have taken action. One in 4 Americans who have life insurance say they purchased or increased their coverage because of COVID-19, according to a NerdWallet survey conducted Oct. 29 to Nov. 2 by The Harris Poll. Many of those who purchased or increased their coverage were motivated by fear of being diagnosed with the disease (30%) or knowing someone who had (29%).

A survey by insurance industry trade group LIMRA this summer found nearly 6 in 10 Americans (58%) say they have a heightened awareness about the importance of life insurance, and about 3 out of 10 (32%) who were shopping for life insurance said it was in response to COVID-19. The number of term policies, the most popular type of life insurance, rose 10% in the third quarter compared with a year earlier, LIMRA found. That was the largest increase in 18 years.

“Obviously, the pandemic is making people much more sensitive to their mortality,” says Alison Salka, LIMRA research director. “So we see more people aware of the need for life insurance.”

Still, LIMRA has estimated that 30 million American households don’t have coverage, and another 30 million don’t have enough. The average coverage gap between what people have and what they need is about $200,000, LIMRA says.

“There is a perception about, ‘Well, I have it at work, and that’s got to be enough,’” says Marc Cadin. “Most people have not done the work to really understand what would happen if they were to prematurely die.”

Employer-provided life insurance policies are typically capped at certain dollar amounts, such as $20,000 or $50,000, or limit coverage to one to two times an employee’s annual pay. That may seem like a lot, but parents with young children may need 10 times their salary or more to replace their incomes until the kids are grown. (Other types of insurance you may get from your employer, such as accidental death or critical illness policies, generally are too narrowly focused to protect you adequately.)

Even if your need is more modest — your partner requires your income to pay the mortgage, for example — an employer-provided policy might fall short. Plus, you typically lose your coverage if you lose your job, as many Americans have during the pandemic.

Having your own policy means your beneficiaries will remain protected. And thanks in part to the pandemic, you may be able to get coverage faster and without a medical exam.

Increasingly, insurers are automating and accelerating the application process, LIMRA’s Salka says. Instead of sending someone to your home to check vital signs and collect blood and urine specimens, some insurers are waiving exams or are exclusively using exam and lab data provided by the applicant’s physician. This trend was already underway, but social distancing and other pandemic challenges mean more insurers are adopting these practices, Salka says.

Life insurance is often cheaper than people expect, Cadin says. A 30-year-old woman in excellent health might pay $193 a year for 20-year term policy for $500,000. A 40-year-old man, also in excellent health, might pay $341 for the same coverage.

Term insurance covers people for a specified period of time, which is typically 10, 20 or 30 years. Term policies are significantly less expensive than permanent life insurance, which has additional features such as a cash value that can be borrowed against and that grows over time.

But the higher costs of permanent policies can tempt some buyers to skimp on coverage. If you do need life insurance — and you probably do if someone would be financially impacted by your death — then your priority should be getting enough.

How much is that? A life insurance calculator can help you refine your estimate. You may want to replace your salary for 20 or 30 years if your children are young, for example, and perhaps provide a college fund. You may want to add in your mortgage balance and any other debts. If you’re a stay-at-home parent or other unpaid caregiver, consider how much it would cost to hire someone to provide those services and for how many years. For example, your kids may need a full-time babysitter until they’re old enough for school and then a part-time one until they’re in their teens.

Once you have a total, subtract your “liquid” assets, such as savings accounts, college funds and any life insurance you already have. That’s the amount of life insurance you should start shopping for, without delay.

Credits: Liz Weston

Date: Dec 17, 2020

Source: https://www.nerdwallet.com/article/insurance/got-life-insurance-you-may-not-have-enough?trk_location=ssrp&trk_query=life%20insurance&trk_page=9&trk_position=10

#areteautomation #lifehealthadvisors #bestforhealth #healthtips #knowledge

[jazzistolkienfanfics]

Stress - Fili x reader

May I request a Fili x Female!Reader where the reader is starting to get really stressed and it's starting to get to her and Fili makes it all better? 

@dark-angel-is-back​ of course! i tried to give this one an actual plot rather than centring it around romance 😅

Type: Imagine Pairing: Fili x reader Summary: being the only financial support of one’s family isn’t easy Warnings: ‘shit’ Word Count: 1338 words

Y/N let herself stare wistfully at the stall of pastries in the marketplace. She was sure that her siblings would love the sweet breads and treats, and the beautiful smell overwhelmed her.

But the Dwarrowdam shook her head, slipping her fingers into her pocket and feeling how few coins were there. To put it quite simply, she didn’t have the money for such luxuries. Y/N needed to save that money for necessities.

She wandered around the marketplace, doing her best to buy the cheapest things - a new dress for her little sister, as her old one had been frayed to pieces, meat for dinner, some fruits and vegetables, and one tiny bag of sweets for her siblings. There were four people in their family - Y/N, and her two younger sisters and one younger brother. She figured the kids deserved a little something. 

Y/N’s basket was becoming heavy, but she didn’t complain. She was all her siblings had - their father had fallen in battle and their mother died of a deadly disease. Y/N could never complain, because it wasn’t about her. It was about them.

They got smaller and thinner every week, and they were suffering from it, though they tried to hide it with their chins up and happy smiles. Y/N was so proud of them, but they were too young to help her. Too young to work, nor to understand the intricacies and rules of their unfair world. 

She ventured out to the edge of the forest, bending to pick some athelas for the medicine cupboard, some herbs for dinner, and some flowers for her little sisters (she also collected one for her brother, though he didn’t like them much). By now, her basket was almost overflowiit ng, and lugging it several kilometres back home would not be an easy task.

But she thought of her poor siblings, alone at home, hiding behind the barricaded door, missing their older sister. Y/N felt so guilty for leaving them alone - she’d left for her first job far before dawn, and she’d finished her third one at sunset.

It was now dark, and Y/N’s arms were trembling with the weight of the heavy baskets. She pulled it along, having long given up on holding it in her arms, and now dragging it along the cobblestones.

Scrape. Scrape. Scrape.

It had been a hard day.Y/N had been beaten in her second job at the forges, for dropping a hot sword on her overseer’s foot.

“You stupid girl!” he yelled, hitting her across the face/ “Why did I hire you?“

Y/N was so hungry and exhausted that she almost gave up, but she saw the wooden door of her house ahead of her. She knocked on it, whispering to her siblings, “I’m home, guys. It’s Y/N.”

They opened the door - a girl of twelve, a boy of nine, and another girl of six flying out from it, immediately taking her basket from her.

She saw the hunger in their eyes, and the familiar tear tracks.

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” Y/N whispered. “Here, help me make dinner.“

They did so - slicing the meat off the bones and putting them into stale bread as sandwiches. The bones would be turned to soup later.

Her siblings took the gifts, thanking her profoundly, and they ate hungrily.

“You guys get into bed, okay?” Y/N said, faking a smile. “I’ll be right there.”

The three children ran into the only bedroom, laughing and talking about the lollies they’d be able to eat tomorrow. Y/N opened the door cautiously, sitting outside on the steps. 

She lowered her head into her hands and began to cry soundlessly. Of course, making any kind of whimper would single her out as a target - and she had to be strong for her brother and sisters. How they could be so happy every day was beyond her.

Everything was getting to her. The stress, the lack of money, how alone she felt. The night was the only time when she could fall apart - because at the mercy of the darkness, nothing could hold her together.

“Excuse me? Are you alright?”

Y/N bolted to her feet at the voice, having not heard the footsteps of its owner, drying her tears with two quick swipes as she took in the asker of the question.

He was a handsome Dwarf, with long blond hair in several braids. Y/N noted that his beads were plain silver - he courted no one. He seemed the sort with a persistent ready smile, though now there was only kindly concern in those blue eyes.

“I’m fine,” Y/N lied. “Sorry you had to see that.”

“Don’t be sorry,” the Dwarf said. “And don’t apologise. What’s wrong?”

Sometimes, telling things to a stranger, who had no preformed opinions or knowledge regarding you, was far easier than telling things to your family. Y/N found herself telling him about the hardships of her life in the recent years. He listened well, and showed such believable worry and empathy that the darkness faded away.

He stared at the ground for a moment after she’d finished talking, evidently thinking about something of great importance. 

“I’m so sorry,” he said finally. “I know what it’s like to lose family. I haven’t been in the situation you’re in, but I can at least understand some of your pain. I have a younger brother, like you do - you understand how we’ll do anything for them.”

“Yeah, I do.” Y/N found herself smiling at this stranger.

He dug his hand into the pockets of his large coat, and pulled out ...

“Holy shit,” she gasped, in a display of cursing that she didn’t normally use in front of strangers, but somehow, this man didn’t feel like one. “That’s-”

“Mithril,” he confirmed, handing over the stone. It was definitely larger than her palm, though not too big to hold with one hand. The metal was silver, but hints of all the colours imaginable were also woven through it, sparkling in the firelight of the street. “Sell it to the wealthiest vendor you can find - they will give you a lot for it. Enough for you to not have to worry about your siblings again. I can find you a better job, and another home, if you wish.”

He nodded towards the dilapidated structure they stood outside of - one storey, practically falling apart. 

“Why-” Y/N stuttered, confused. “Why would you do this for me? I am but a stranger.”

“Because I believe in kindness,” the Dwarf said. “I know its effect. And I know what loneliness feels like - when all you have are your younger siblings. You deserve better than this.”

“Thank you,” she said, tears swelling in your eyes again. “Thank you so, so much.”

She leaned forward, kissing the handsome Dwarf on the cheek, blushing furiously as she pulled back. His cheeks were also dusted with red, and a wide smile had stretched across his face.

“You know,” he said, studying her, and really taking in how beautiful she was for the first time. “I’m going on a quest. 13 Dwarves so far, but they won’t mind if you joined. I’ve got a good feeling about you.”

Y/N laughed. “Oh, I’m not the adventure type. Besides, I need to look after my siblings. We’re all we have left. I’ll wait for you, though ...?”

“Fili,” he said, taking her hand and kissing it in an adorably gentlemanly fashion. “And I promise I’ll come back to you ...”

“Y/N,” she said, with a smile.

Fili stepped forward, and gave her a warm hug. “Don’t let the stress get to you, okay? Do things for you, not for them.”

He scribbled a quick note of recommendation for a better, higher-paying job, kissed her cheek, and left, humming a low, sweet song under his breath.

Y/N watched him go, clutching the mithril in her hand. And she couldn’t stop herself from grinning.

Maybe life isn’t so bad after all ...

@dark-angel-is-back​ i’m sorry if this isn’t what you wanted! i kinda got carried away ...

EVERYONE REMEMBER THAT YOU CAN SEND ME ANY QUESTION AS PART OF THE 100 FOLLOWERS CHALLENGE!

#fili #fili x reader #the hobbit #x reader #you #the hobbit x reader #request

[mayakern]

hi maya! i've been following you for years and you've been a big inspiration to me! i'm moving back to my home state in 9 months and when that happens i want to be a full time artist. i've started emailing art directors and opened up commissions, but generally i can't get people to engage with my work. i'm coming to you because i've seen you try so many things throughout the years. if you have any insight, or if i need a reality check, it would be greatly appreciated! thanks for reading!

i don’t know you and i don’t know your situation so i can’t give you any specific advice, so i’ll try and just type out some general “i wanna do art online” tips:

1. make your art easy to find. whether that’s a separate art blog or a prominently displayed art tag, just make sure people can find it within 1-2 clicks!

2. keep practicing, keep doing things you enjoy, keep posting. online following is a snowball. it goes painfully slowly for ages and ages and ages. once it starts to pick up, the rate tends to increase exponentially. there’s also a lot of luck involved. it’s hard to predict what will or won’t resonate with people, so just try to make sure that you genuinely enjoy whatever you make.

3. if you approach working professionals/people you admire for help, demonstrate off the bat that you are familiar with them/their work and keep your email/message brief and be polite. well known/popular artists get a lot of cold emails/messages from all sorts of people, and most frequently from people who just see a follower count or a popular post or something and cold email them without any care or specificity to them as a creator. these sorts of emails usually get dismissed out of hand. 

if you are looking to someone for help, be sure there is something specific about them that resonates with you that’s more than just “i see you are popular or successful and i also want that.” no one really likes getting those emails/messages because it feels like they could go to anyone as long as they had a high enough follower count or worked at X company. instead, look at their work or accomplishments and go “this aspect of this person’s work speaks to me, they work this job that interests me, i want to learn, etc.”

AND AGAIN: KEEP IT BRIEF. it’s really tempting to want to perfectly explain yourself/your situation, but you are a stranger and most people working in art are pretty busy, and you are not the only person sending them this kind of inquiry.

for art director stuff specifically, i recommend reading through @dearartdirector. i’m not an art director so i can’t help with that.

4. remember that online following/popularity and success are NOT the same things. i know plenty of popular artists who struggle financially, who can’t break into the industry. i know tons of working professionals who have very small online followings. i know in this hyper connected world, it is very easy to conflate those two things. DON’T DO THAT.

5. similarly, it is very easy to compare yourself to other people and to feel inadequate because others seem to have an easier time of it. this is a horrible illogical thing your brain does to spite you, don’t listen to it. you don’t know other people or their stories. you don’t know their struggles. lots of people work very hard and experience hardships that you will never be aware of, but it will seem externally like they have an easy time of it. it’s the old duck in the pond thing -- above the water they look serene and easy, underwater their flippers are going crazy to churn water.

6. it is okay to fail. everyone fails. it is not shameful or a waste of your time. it is just part of being alive and trying to do something you love.

7. similar to 6 -- be careful with your notions of what failure even means. it’s ok to not work in art, it’s ok to work part time, it’s ok to do whatever you need to do (that doesn’t hurt others) in order to find your way to a happy and sustainable life. similarly, being able to make money off your art is not necessarily a question of skill. there are... a lot of factors. you should not tie your worth to money in general, but you especially should not tie your value to your ability to monetize your art.

8. this is going to be an unpopular one... do not let your passion or desperation control you. sometimes the healthier thing is to not pursue something you love. i had to give up comics after years of making them because even though i loved them, they were terrible for my mental and physical health. it’s ok to love something and let it go and it’s ok to let your goals change. it is not worth ruining your health just for the privilege of making things. 

there are a lot of exploitative companies that will try to leverage this to make you take work for terrible pay and no rights. those jobs are never worth it. it is almost always better to do a non-art job and pour that time and love and passion into a project you care about, rather than being someone else’s cheap labor.

9. make friends who are around your age and skill level. i know it’s tempting to want to reach out to artists you admire and try to befriend them -- but it is not comfortable on the other end. usually those artists will be significantly older than you and in a different place in their lives and from their perspective, you are a stranger who is only interested in them because they make a thing you like. it’s a very awkward situation to navigate because you are not treating that creator as an individual, but rather as the conduit for Content You Like.

it is important to find peers to learn and grow with. real, genuine friendship will do so much for you as a person and an artist.

also -- older creators who are very receptive to young, untried artists and who easily let them into their space on the pretense of friendship or mentorship... i won’t say this is always a bad thing, but it can be indicative of bad intentions. there is an inherent power imbalance in that sort of relationship and there are people who will exploit that. this is a painfully common practice

this is a sour note to end this on, but it is a very important one. recently we have seen many industry pros in comics, games, and animation get ousted for exactly that sort of behavior. it sucks that it is a thing we need to look out for -- but it is.

#ask #long post #art tips #faq #xollos

[wipbigbang]

2021 Round - Artists Claims (Round 2)

Round 2 of claims for artists are open! The second round will go this week and then I'll post a new round on Thursday, opening it up for thirds. Everybody spread the word! We have 70 story summaries below for you to choose from, and this round, you may choose 2 stories to do art for! Just use a different check in ID with each sign-up.

This year, art claims are working a little differently than in years past. We are using a google form to streamline things, which should make things easier both for you as participants and us mods. To claim a story, the form requires email, check in ID, and the identifying number of your first choice of story. Putting your top three choices is best in case your first or second has already been chosen. Please be sure you've read the FAQ before claiming.

Click here to claim a story!

Shadowhunters (TV) #51 Title: An Omega Transaction Pairing/Characters Magnus Bane/ Alec Lightwood / Jace Wayland Rating: Explicit Warnings/Tags: Omegaverse AU SummaryWhen Alec presented as an omega his whole life changed for the worse. He was sent away to be taught how to become a 'proper' omega, his parabatai bond to Jace muted. After suffering years of abuse, Alec finally sees Jace again. Jace explains that as part of a truce with the Downworld Alec is meant to become mate to the Downworld leader; the Alpha Magnus Bane. Alec agrees to the mating bond to escape his hellish existence and on the condition his friend and follow omega, Andrew Underhill, is saved as well. What starts out as a practical and useful transaction for everyone involved becomes complicated when Magnus falls in love with his omega mate and Jace’s buried feelings for Alec reawaken. The question is….will Alec return the two Alphas’ affections, or has he been hurt too much by Alphas in the past to dare open his heart again? And what about Valentine? What is he planning and how does Alec fit into it? A romantic Malace story of love, change and building a family of your own choice. #53 Title: Runaway Love Pairing/Characters Magnus Bane/ Alec Lightwood Rating: Explicit Warnings/Tags: No Warnings Apply Summary A story of surviving hardship, the love for family and finding someone to love in the most unusual places. Maryse and Robert were de-runed as punishment for supporting Valentine. Despite Robert’s protests Maryse steals away two baby boys left in Valentine’s care at the time; Jocelyn’s abandoned son and Jace. The family go to the Mundane world with a two-year-old Alec while Maryse is pregnant with Izzy. Without proper papers the family struggle financially and Robert sinks into a spiral of self-hatred and depression while Maryse fight to get money for the family. Robert’s mounting debts due to his drinking and gambling ends up being collectively owned by Magnus Bane. As they can’t pay back the loans, Alec decides to go bargain with Magnus to see if there’s something other than money the Warlock might want…. #54 Title: Sobriety and Cigarettes Pairing/Characters Magnus Bane/Jace Herondale/Alec Lightwood Rating: Mature Warnings/Tags: Smoking; references to alcoholism, addiction and rehab; recollections of past road trauma; sexual references; angst; moderate language Summary Jace and Magnus just walked out of an AA meeting. Neither of them have licences anymore so they’re both waiting for a bus to take them home. They’ve been waiting a while. #55 Title: The Crumple Zone Is My Heart Pairing/Characters Magnus Bane/ Alec Lightwood Rating: Teen Warnings/Tags: Graphic Violence Summary Alec Lightwood has been hiding from the Clave since he became a werewolf. Now his two worlds are colliding, and threatening to crush him between them. AU of the first few episodes of the show, with ensemble cast #56 Title: When An Angel Kneels Pairing/Characters Magnus Bane/ Alec Lightwood Rating: Explicit Warnings/Tags: BDSM AU Summary Alec is a sub but given how Idris treats subs, excluding them from all leadership positions and considering them too ‘weak’ to be warriors, Alec has kept it a secret for years, thanks to his sister and his parabatai bond with Jace. However, one fateful encounter with the powerful Dom and Warlock leader Magnus Bane changes everything not only for Alec but for the Shadow World in general. A worldbuilding BDSM AU with a focus on self-acceptance, equality, trust and learning to love. #57 Title: Wings Pairing/Characters Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Isabelle Lightwood/Simon Lewis Rating: Explicit Warnings/Tags: Graphic Violence, Temporary Character Death Summary A Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicles AU. Izzy is Sakura, Simon is Syaoran, Alec is Kurogane, Magnus is Fai. "Simon and Izzy are childhood friends in a desert country known as Clow. Izzy is the princess, and Simon is a simple architect excavating ancient ruins. Alec is a warrior in Idris, directly serving under Empress Helen and her warrior wife, Aline. Magnus is a mage from Edom, desperate to escape his past and the King. Across the dimensions, all four are facing adversity and must leave their worlds to request a wish from the Red Witch. There is no such thing as coincidence: everything is connected."

#shadowhunters #magnus bane #alec lightwood #isabelle lightwood #simon lewis #Jace Herondale #malace #malec #simon x isabelle #simon x izzy #magnus x alec #magnus x jace x alec #signal boost #looking for an artist #fanart #wipbb2021

[hobbitsetal]

Hobbs’ Dating Advice, Compiled

i’ve been married a whole year, so obviously i know everything.

...okay, definitely not, BUT I have had the benefit of wise advice from wise people and the benefits of seeing various friends and family members go through this whole dating thing, so let’s lay it out!

Before you date someone:

1. Figure out what you want from a relationship. I personally have always wanted to get married. I went into dating relationships with the knowledge that either we would marry or break up, and I went into relationships with the mindset of figuring out which outcome I wanted. You can communicate and set goals more effectively when you know what you’re working toward.

2. Figure out what you want in general. Where do you want to be in 5 years? in 10 years? What would you want to share with somebody? Do you want a family or do you want to be a free spirit? Feelings will fade, but goals can remain and unite. I personally want the whole white-picket-fence-and-kids deal, and I wanted a man who shared that goal. I want to take dance lessons and travel, and I want someone who will do that with me. My sister doesn’t want to marry. If she ever goes out with a guy, it’ll probably be just for fun and without an eye to anything serious.

3. Figure out what is non-negotiable. What are your deal-breakers? Figure those out now because you should have a set of standards to hold your relationships to, not a relationship to form your standards. I want kids. I want to be a stay-at-home mom. I want someone who is welcomed into and becomes part of my family. I married a man who fits these values. Religion and faith fits into this category. How important is spirituality to you and what would you want it to look like? I was very specific--Reformed or bust--but many people are comfortable marrying someone of different background--Catholics marry Protestants, Buddhists marry Christians. It depends on how seriously you take your beliefs. I have thoughts on this, but let’s pretend I have chill. This should be a mixture of common sense and personal. Don’t date someone who has anger issues. Don’t date someone who lies to you. Don’t date someone who wants something completely different from you. For me, it’s common sense to marry a fellow Christian. But it’s entirely personal to marry someone who shares my specific vision for how to serve in my local church. Less is more. These are your deal-breakers.

4. Build a circle of people whom you trust and who value you. Friends or family, you should have someone who has your back and knows you well. Relationships tend to be a tangle of emotions and giddiness and hormones. Friends and family aren’t the ones daydreaming about your lover’s eyes; they’re the ones asking if your lover respects you. You need people who can evaluate your lover objectively.

When you’re dating someone:

1. Evaluate them. I think it’s easy to discourage yourself from being “too intense,” or “throwing them out too soon,” but remember that list of non-negotiables? That comes into play here. I’m not saying ask them to lay out their five-year plan or say how many kids they want on the first date, but I would strongly recommend figuring out their goals as soon as possible. First date, figure out if you like them. I’m a huge fan of dating someone who’s already a friend, but that’s not always possible. My husband and I met while he was going to school in Kentucky, while I live in Louisiana. Our first conversations were over text message and Skype, and we talked about theology (a shared passion, as well as evaluating each other’s beliefs and compatibility with our own beliefs), books, movies, fictional characters, and tv shows. We got into the “so, how many kids do you want?” discussions after we entered into a formal dating relationship. But we also worked through our checklists of important things as early as possible. If he hadn’t wanted kids, no matter how charming and fun he was, I would have ended the relationship. If he hadn’t fit any of my non-negotiable items, I would have ended it. They’re deal-breakers for a reason, and that reason is that I decided long ago that I would not want to build a life without those values and goals.

2. Spend time around other people. This goes back to your circle of trusted people. They know you and they can see better than you how you and your lover interact with each other. When I dated my second boyfriend, I was much less interested in him than I thought I was, and my poor mother attempted to point that out to me. When he came over and played video games with my brother, I’d hang out with my mother in another room. I was so caught up in the pleasant feeling of being liked that I truly did not see how little I was actually interested in the person who liked me. Outsiders saw it. Outside viewpoints are crucial. The flip side is what do other people think of your lover? What do they think of you? A major factor in my relationship with my husband was how highly his friends spoke of him. They could tell me his flaws, if asked, but in between teasing him and flirting with me (thanks, David), they went out of their way to tell me what a great guy he is and how lucky I was to be dating him. He had no reason to impress them. He had every reason to impress me. Their opinions mattered a LOT. And related to the flaws, other people may see stuff you need to work on. Maybe you’re not communicating well. Maybe one of you speaks meanly to the other. If an outsider can comment on the flaw, the two of you have a chance to work on the flaw together. This will help you determine how well this relationship stands up to adversity.

3. Learn to communicate. There’s a reason this piece of advice seems to pop up whenever dating is mentioned, and that reason is that if you (or they!) cannot make your preferences and desires known effectively, your relationship will be doomed to frustration. Whether one of you is afraid of upsetting the other, one of you is adverse to conflict, or one of you has been trained to prioritize others to the point of personal detriment, if you cannot overcome blocks in communication, you cannot learn to function as a team. One of the hardest and most rewarding aspects of dating my husband was learning to call him out on his flaws. It hurt, it sucked, and it was miserable for both of us, but I learned I can trust him and he learned he can trust me. I can trust him to work on the things that hurt me and to prioritize my emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being. He learned he can trust me to be truthful with him at personal cost to me, and that he can trust me to be true to our shared values even when, in the short-term, compromise would be easier. And speaking of compromise, good communication should make that possible. Whether it’s where to spend holidays or where to put the couch or what movie to watch, good communication and good compromise takes your partner’s needs and desires into account and balances them with your own.

4. Figure out how you treat money. I’m putting this one early because this needs to be a consideration. Which of you spends, which of you saves? What are your money habits? Can you trust each other to respect financial boundaries? My husband spends; I make Scrooge look philanthropic. But since we communicate well, we can talk about when to spend money and on what. Sometimes I really do not want to buy that thing he swears he needs and cannot accept his reasons. More often, it’s truly important to him and we agree to buy it. But it’s a team effort and we both enter the discussion fully aware of the other person’s spending habits.

When you’re getting serious:

1. Ask yourself if you can live with this person’s flaws. If they never learn to stop name-calling, if they never overcome that road rage, if they’re always emotional over silly stuff, can you live with that? Everybody has flaws. Nobody is perfect. You will never find somebody who lives up to all of your ideals. So can you live with this person’s flaws?

2. Have you had a chance to see each other at your worst and at your best? I spent part of our early relationship chiding my husband for sulking over stuff. He had the opportunity to call me out on some bare-faced hypocrisy when I chose to throw a fit over something. I’ve seen him road-rage; he’s seen me weasel out of commitments and pretend desperately I am completely unaware of this Very Important Deadline I’ve been procrastinating on. And I’ve seen him apologize for certain behaviors, prioritize something he’s not interested in for the sake of loved ones, learn to bite his tongue to promote peace in familial relationships, and accept challenges and hardships for the sake of crucial goals. His best makes the flaws easy to accept. His best tells me he is worthy of my trust and my admiration. His best makes me want to live with him and share my life and soul with him and help him overcome his flaws so he’s the best all the time. His best makes me want to write essays on why women should envy me. His best has to outweigh his flaws.

3. Does your trusted circle agree that this is a good person for you? My family loves Alex. Their concerns and caveats were heard and discussed. Sometimes we worked on issues; sometimes we determined that their viewpoint wasn’t completely accurate. But my family as a whole agrees that he and I are well-suited to each other, with common interests, common goals, and complementary personalities.

Remember every relationship is different because every personality is different. It’s okay to date multiple people (me). It’s okay to date one and be done (my husband). Your life is always going to be somewhat different from other people’s lives.

#relationships #dating advice #we're just going full mom today

[the-blue-fairie]

I’m so sorry things are difficult. I know the pandemic has made dark days seem darker and longer but it will get better. You’re beautiful. Your words and kindness have touched so many of us that follow you. You’re a gem and we’re lucky that you’ve chosen to be so open and share so much of yourself with us. I’ve never dealt with dysphoria myself and I can’t speak on how to best handle those hardships. I can tell you that you should feel free to experiment with your hair. It’s yours, it’s for making you feel beautiful. Do what you want with it. I wish there was more I could say to express how sorry I am that you feel stuck. Stuck in a room and a lifestyle and a look but change is just about the only thing in the world you can really count on. Things will change. They will improve. You’re not deteriorating. You’re not wasting anything. You’re growing. Every day you get closer to where you want to be, even if it doesn’t feel like it. Even this feeling right now is bringing you closer to it, painful as it is. Feeling stuck is one of the first steps to moving forward. It lets us now that we’re ready for change and it pushes us to move. Even in doing something as small as changing up our hairstyles or reaching out on the internet for some kindness. We move further away from where we were and closer to where we’re going. I wish I was wiser and that I could offer substantial help. Just know things do get better, always. And that you’re wanted, you’re appreciated, your words-your experiences-your life it’s not being unfulfilled, even these slow painful months of the pandemic. I found your blog during quarantine and it’s changed things for the better for me. Thank you for that and I just wish there was more I could offer you. ❤️

Thank you, anon. I’ve been reading and rereading this message and I’m touched by your going out of your way to write it, to go to such lengths to reach out to me, and I hardly know what to say in response, except to thank you again. Thank you. 

I wish that I felt like I was... getting closer to where I want to be. But the truth is, I do feel like I’m deteriorating. I’m going bald and a part of me hates myself for that, for not acting when I could have... even though I wasn’t acting for a reason, because of family I felt scared to come out to, but then when I finally got the chance... the pandemic upended all my plans. 

And that makes me still feel guilty because... I could still move forward now. I wasn’t moving forward before because I was living with family who were helping me financially as I was going through college and I always said to myself, “When I don’t have to worry about tuition or a roof over my head or all the things my family make easier for me, I move forward.” And that day came, but... with the pandemic, I’m still living with family. Still living under the same roof - and in some ways, it’s a place of privilege. I don’t have to work in a time when so many people are on the front lines because of my family’s support.

But if I go out, they’ll ask more questions even than they would pre-pandemic. “Where are you going? Could you be exposed to covid? And then could we? Are you putting us all at risk? And where are you going that you won’t tell us?”

I’m an adult and I feel like I’m still bound by the same ties I was as a child - still trapped in the same pattern. Even though I could see the light at the end of the tunnel after getting my Master’s.

I’ve... come so far in some ways, but I still feel like I’m stagnating.

I’m sorry to vent to you like this, anon, but your message was heartfelt. And again, with all my heart, thank you. I’m glad that you found my blog and, if you want, we could talk together sometime, if you’re willing to message me. I tend to be quiet, usually, but eventually I’d respond. Thank you for your kindness.

Thank you.

[crystaljins]

Good riddance.

Characters: Jimin x Reader

Word count: 2k

Synopsis:   Is it too much to ask for a normal rooommate?

Jimin x reader. Roomates-to-lovers

Notes: The first of my requests to celebrate reaching 1000 followers! This is dedicated to my beloved queenie who always leaves the sweetest asks for me! She requested “Jimin +  moving in to an apartment/college!au style “ And this mess of a fic is what she got, unfortunately. I’m not too fond of it myself- I’m battling some mean writer’s block! But the concept is cute, at least.

Warnings: None

“Thank goodness.” Taehyung says warmly through a mouthful of freshly baked cookie. Jimin reaches for a cookie too, savouring the soft, dough-y texture and the richness of the slightly-melted chocolate chips. He closes his eyes in contentment for a long moment. “I’m so glad your crazy roommate finally moved out.”

“She wasn’t crazy.” He says with a sigh. The apartment is clean and smells of freshly baked cookies. He can hear his new roommate humming cheerfully in the next room. After baking some cookies, he had decided he’d do some cleaning. Because cleaning is apparently a hobby for Jimin’s new, eerily perfect roommate. Life is good. No, it’s great. He can’t remember the last time he had a peaceful afternoon like this. “She did move out really quickly, though.”

And he’s glad of it. Good riddance. It’s about time fate cut him some slack! He’s had a string of increasingly bad roommates over the past year and his most recent one was the worst of them. It all started a year ago, when he discovered his roommate of three years had been sleeping with his girlfriend for almost the entire time they had lived together. Needless to say, he had required a new roommate as soon as possible. He lived in a nice apartment but it definitely required a two-person income to meet the rent demands and he wasn’t going to live with that lying jerk a moment longer. Only, finding a new roommate was easier said than done.

The first of his bad string of roommates had been Toby. Toby had been nice enough at first. He never left dirty dishes in the sink and he always checked first with Jimin before using the washing machine to make sure Jimin didn’t need to use it too. He had paid his rent on time too, which had been the priority. Post-graduate students don’t make a lot of money and Jimin didn’t have any income to spare if his roommate was late on paying rent.

The problem with Toby was Toby’s girlfriend. She was a nice girl in small doses. She smiled a lot and always made small talk with Jimin on the awkward occasions he was alone in the living room with her. But she and Toby fought a lot. Which isn’t a huge problem- every relationship has their communication bumps and hardships. But their fights weren’t normal fights. They would scream at each other at weird hours of the night and one time Toby’s girlfriend had gotten so mad she had taken a plate and thrown it against the wall. It had shattered to the point that super glue could do nothing for the plate. And it was a nice plate too! It was part of the set Jimin’s mother bought for him when he first moved to the city for his studies. Needless to say, Jimin had requested that Toby find another place to stay the next morning.

Of course, Toby was sorely missed in comparison to his next roommate, Bertha. The problem with Bertha was that she had a cat. As a disclaimer, Jimin loves cats. He thinks they are sweet and he’s always wanted a cat of his own. But Bertha’s cat was no ordinary cat. No, it was a demon, summoned from hell with a fetish for human toes and a propensity for leaving poo nuggets in inconvenient areas. Cats are supposed to naturally use litter trays! Why the demonspawn, or Mittens, as Bertha fondly called him, reviled the litter tray so deeply is a mystery for the ages. Needless to say, Jimin had tolerated that for as long as he could. But then Mittens had decided he would take a nice bite of Jimin’s big toe while he was napping on the couch one day and Jimin had ended up in hospital. Who knew cat bites were so dangerous? Bertha had offered to move out straight away and had also paid for Jimin’s hospital bills as long as he didn’t make her put her beloved demonspawn to sleep. She hasn’t contacted him since. 

He wishes he could say that Bertha was the worst of his roommates but she wasn’t. There was Michael, who had a creepy taxidermy obsession. And Angela, who only washed her hair during the full moon. He doesn’t even want to say what Seungmin was like. There had been no end in sight to his string of bad roommates.

Then you came along. You actually hadn’t undergone Jimin’s usual selection process, which was his first mistake. He had developed pretty strict selection criteria after suffering through so many bad roommates. But you had managed to bypass all of that thanks to your older brother Yoongi. Yoongi is a nice, calm guy. He has helped Jimin a lot in the past, especially during the cheating-girlfriend fiasco. So when Yoongi had mentioned that his younger sister was moving to the city after changing degrees, Jimin had been quick to offer up the extra room in his apartment. By that stage, he had seen the worst of the worst when it came to crazy roommates- there was no way someone related to Yoongi could be any worse than the nutcases he had dealt with this far.

He should have been more careful. You really gave all the other roommate’s a run for their money. You would offer to make him dinner and then set the stove top on fire. His favourite shirt had been ruined in the evacuation. You were hopeless at doing the dishes- he’s had to buy at least three new sets of dinner plates since you moved in. You had broken the vacuum cleaner, clogged the shower drain, smashed a window… You were supposed to ease his financial burdens, not create them! And you just kept inserting yourself into his life- inviting yourself to movie nights, charming his friends so they invited you along to parties he attended. At least he could just go for a walk or meet up with friends when his other roommates grew to be too much- there was no escaping you, however.

Which is why he’s glad you moved out so suddenly! As far as roommates go, you were terrible, with all the annoying and frustrating habits to boot and since he didn’t have the heart to kick you out, it’s better that you left on your own. And without any warning so he didn’t have to stress about you moving out or anything horrible like that. Just… bam. He woke up and you were on the doorstep, bidding him an awkward farewell. He’s glad things ended up like this. His new roommate can cook, never sets the apartment on fire and offered to drive Jimin to work since his car broke down.

“I’m highkey glad she’s gone. She kept ruining our movie nights.” Taehyung continues. “If she made me watch Monster’s Inc. one more time…” Taehyung trails off and shudders at the recollection of your weird obsession with the movie.  Taehyung whirls on Jimin. “But I did always wonder. Why did you give in to her?”

“What do you mean?” Jimin asks, reaching for another cookie. He’s going to start putting on weight with the way his new roommate feels a compulsion to feed him but honestly it would be worth it. Taehyung frowns and tilts his head at Jimin. It reminds Jimin of the way Taehyung’s dog looks when it comes across something new and puzzling.

“Well, you could have said no to her at any point.” Taehyung points out. “When she asked to tag along to our movie nights or when she insisted on cooking dinner or even when Yoongi first suggested she move in with you. The whole time, you could have refused. But you let her do it. You knew what the outcome would be and yet every time… you kept saying yes.”

Jimin goes silent at Taehyung’s surprisingly astute observation. The warm chocolate chip cookie, previously delightfully warm and delicious, now tastes like ash in his mouth.

“Would you like to know what really happened?” Taehyung asks, leaning forward with a sharpness to his eyes that wasn’t there before. Jimin shrinks slightly beneath the gaze of his oldest friend.

“N-nothing happened. We just decided to go our separate ways.” Jimin points out, internally cursing himself for his stutter. “It’s just cause she’s Yoongi’s sister. I felt obligated to be nice to her.”

“Cute.” Taehyung answers with a smile. “But also a blatant lie. Jimin, I know what you look like when you have a crush.”

Jimin’s not sure why he feels like his heart suddenly freezes in his chest. A… crush? On you?

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Jimin answers with an uneasy laugh. “I don’t have a crush on her. Taehyung, she turned my uniform shirts pink a few weeks ago because she accidentally left her underwear in the wash.”

“Well, that’s a shame then.” Taehyung says with a dramatic sigh. “I guess her moving out because of her feelings for you was the right move then, huh?”

Jimin blinks a few times and it takes him a second to comprehend what Taehyung is saying.

“Feelings… for me? She moved out like that because… because she had feelings? For me?” Jimin questions and he wishes he didn’t sound so desperate and hopeful but he’s temporarily lost control over the emotions in his voice thanks to Taehyung’s shocking announcement. Taehyung grins widely.

“I thought you didn’t have a crush? Then you shouldn’t care about the real reason she moved out.” Taehyung says smugly and as much as Jimin loves Taehyung, he could honestly strangle him in that moment. 

“Taehyung.” Jimin calls warningly and Taehyung actually breaks out in laughter.

“The night before she moved out, she was actually planning to confess to you.” Taehyung explains. Jimin swallows past the dryness in his throat as remembers the night in question.

You had been acting strange all day, a bit antsy, and every time Jimin stepped into the kitchen to make sure you hadn’t set any accidental fires, you had shooed him out.

Of course, true to your nature, the familiar smell of smoke had filled the apartment while Jimin was distracted taking a phone call with his landlord. Jimin, fully prepared for your kitchen mishaps, had rushed in with the fire extinguisher at the ready. Of course, the food you had tried to make had been inedible before it caught fire, but it entered new levels of inedible when covered in flame retardant. You had stared at the food with a weird look in your eyes and Jimin had helpfully suggested you order takeout.

The night had gone smoothly from there and the two of you had watched a movie. You’d bid him goodnight with a smile on your face and the next morning you were packed and ready to move out. Just like that. No warning. You had been smiling and having fun with him with no indication of what you were planning and then suddenly his apartment was empty and dark. And he was forced to admit a horrible truth to himself:

You’re not the worst roommate he’s ever had. No, you’re probably the best one. Not because you’re perfect or because you have no bad habits. But because you’re you. Full of energy and sincerity and affection and the day you moved out you accidentally broke Jimin’s heart. As pathetic and stupid as it is, he had liked you. A lot. And it hurt when you suddenly moved out like that, despite his attempts to pretend otherwise.

“As silly as it is, I think she moved out because you inadvertently rejected her that night.” Taehyung admits, shaking his head. “That’s what Yoongi thinks, at least. It’s the most words I’ve ever heard from him and they were all to insult you.”

Jimin winces, but he has more pressing matter than Yoongi being mad: You have feelings for him. Feelings. For him.

“Did you really say that she’s the biggest pain you’ve ever come across? While she was making you a nice dinner to confess her feelings?” Taehyung asks curiously. Jimin winces when he recalls that yes. He had said something along those lines while in hysterics following yet another fire-related incident. He was going to lose his deposit on the apartment at this rate.

“I… might have… said something along those lines.” Jimin finally admits. His jaw drops as he puts two and two together. Taehyung smiles widely. “Is... is that why she moved out? Because of some stupid panicked words I said while our apartment was on fire?”

“What are you going to do about it if that’s the case?” Taehyung asks. But Jimin is already on his feet and grabbing his coat. He’s out the door before Taehyung even completes his question.

Jimin’s new roommate pokes his head out the door.

“Was Jimin going somewhere?” He asks, glancing around curiously. “Did he not like the cookies?”

Taehyung shrugs and turns to Seokjin.

“He’s just going to have an important talk. Now, about your roommate situation…” He trails away and stares at Seokjin curiously and then warmly at the cookies.

“I have a spare room if, for some mysterious reason, you find yourself homeless in the next few days. I have a feeling you’ll need it.”

#btsboulangerie #jimin x reader #park jimin x reader #jimin fluff #park jimin #writing #1000followersdrabble

[birdlingstarot]

🌻 Hi, I hope you are well 💖, I was wondering if you could do a reading on whether I am on the right track if I devote myself to what I am most passionate about (music), it is what gives me happiness but I am still nervous, I am afraid of failing in what I love most and not finding happiness again 😞. I am a rather shy person but it is what I am most passionate about 😔, I just want to know that. - Nico🐑 P.S.: Your readings are amazing, you give me super nice and relaxing vibes 💖💕💓

Hello  🌻 Nico🐑!

Thank you so much for your compliment, I’m really happy to hear that. That’s really sweet of you 😭😭. I hope to be of help to you.

A little birdie told me this 🕊

View on you devoting to music.

Dragon

Your passion for music is very high and you could even feel called to pursue it. Music makes a strong impact in your life and helps you reflect upon yourself as well. We believe that you could feel the calling and had been for quite a while now. One of the main indicator is that you feel as though you are being the true you. 

As you go down the path of devoting yourself to music, you would find yourself transforming, improving, becoming more confident and feel truer to yourself. 

However, this does not mean that you will go down a smooth path, similar to any other paths you or others take. In fact, in these moments as you go through hardships, remember to find and look for the beauty of it just like how you are doing now towards music. 

You are strongly guided and protected as you walk down whichever path you choose to. However, there is a strong indication that devoting yourself to music is the preferred path for you to take in this lifetime. 

In addition, you are advised to stay open. This could be in terms of the type of music you would like to make or pursue as well as career paths (related to or not related to music). This could lead you into a path where you might be required to juggle both creating and doing the things you enjoy and are passionate about as well as a job where you are less passionate about but is doing for the financial security.

This should not discourage you in pursuing as you might even be able to have financial security from doing the things that you enjoy, creating the type of music you enjoy. In fact, this reminds you to be especially open to trying other forms of music as you learn and grow. Remember that people can change, preference can change, the things you are passionate about can change (in regards to music creation and/or type of music) as well.

Being open and seeing things as they are, staying and being true to your feelings are something for you to remember. You could be especially prone to being stubborn on sticking to a particular path of music genre when you might not enjoy it as much as you though due to your interest initially. This is to tell you that in that moment, whether you enjoy certain parts of your journey and learning process or not, you must always (at least try) to be true to your own feelings. You can enjoy the music genre and not enjoy the creation process and vice versa. During these times, you might be required to pick one over the other and you should choose based on how you truly feel, whether ou enjoy it or not, and not based on others’ preference for you.

Mouse

The quiet nature of the mouse is an indication that you are hesitant to ask and reach out for help in times of need. You have a knack for noticing tiny details, especially regarding your passion and career, which makes you detail-oriented. 

However, this puts you at risks of an excessive need to control everything and become anxious when things does not go as planned, even if it might be a small hiccup in the process. This puts you into a position where you have a more limited vision of the world and around you as well as making you fearful, especially of the future. 

Added to your quiet nature mentioned above, backed by your current shy personality, it puts both you and the people around you in a poorer position. You have to recognise that it is okay and even encouraged for you to reach out and ask for help from peers, seniors, teachers and mentors, especially so after you had exhausted your plans and strategies as well as that there are people around you that want to help you, however you might had pushed them away or were waiting for you to reach out in case they might step out of line if they were to intervene.

In times when you feel out of control, stressed and overwhelmed, you could very well and easily lose sight of your original goal and intention. This is when you should step back and observe. Taking time out to focus on another or create another passion project for yourself could greatly help in those times to relieve stress, take your mind off the source of great stress for a while and gain back your sense of control which would all in turn help you calm down and be able to better deal with the initial situation.

You might feel in the dark now, as well as at times in the future, but there are many potentials and outcomes for you to discover and take. In the dark, even the smallest light can be seen and only then could they be more obvious then ever, waiting for you to recognise them.

Be open to others and accept others into your comfort zone and into your life. Don’t (always) curl yourself up and approach others especially if you need help. It will be a good experience and learning experience for you as well as others, so don’t worry too much about things and overthink. You cannot be sure of how others perceive things, especially so if you did not ask them or confront them first-hand. 

It’s okay to be careful but don’t let it stop you from cutting off potentially amazing relationships with certain people.

Elaboration on the Mouse. 

3 of Pentacles

This is about teamwork. You would need to work with people as in any other circumstances related to career. This signifies a close bond within a small group of you, likely three, who understand and shares a passion. This could mean being in a band or working closely together with different roles (ranging from songwriters, managers, singers to even starting a small company, such as artist, manager, CEO etc.). 

In your journey of devoting yourself to music, there will be mountains which you can climb by yourself (which could be make easier and/or more enjoyable with the help and support of people, like-minded peers, who you would help and support - remember all relationships should be give and take, as equal as it could possibly be) and those that you can only climb with working together with others. Generally speaking, you will have to learn to work with others in your journey - this is not strictly conformed to people who are passionate about the same, exact thing as you are, but also include those that enjoy music but prefer a more indirect position such as managerial positions, mentors, technical equipment, stage effects, video making to name a few.

This also indicates that you must focus all of your efforts in this journey. Discipline, hard work and strategy are needed in this journey. Be prepared for things that you can be but don’t shy away from things that are unexpected. Just try it, you never know if you might be given another chance and even if you were, you’d never know when it might appear again. Try it while you are young because, as much as it is disagreeable, there is a stigma that you should be more knowledgeable when you become older and people might not be as forgiving if you were to try it when you become older. Of course, this does not mean that everyone you meet will be that way or you should stop trying new things as you grow older, but rather something you should be prepared to face as everyone else in any other career or passion.

If you ever become weary or overwhelmed, rely on others as teamwork and the strength(s) of others could very well be required to conquer the mountain.

VI - The Lovers

This very well indicates that you could find life-long relationship(s) which you could experience the thrills of desire, achieving and not achieving them, while building a solid foundation together, respecting and honouring each other. This is a great joy! A great union!

You could very well find people who you could really trust and be more courageous with. People who you feel very understood by and vice versa. With them, you could very well feel the limitless potential out there and be courageous to explore, together and otherwise. 

This could represent a strong bond of friendship where each of you support and help the other, advice each other. However, a romantic partnership is a strong potential as well. This is likely developed through a mutual love and passion for music. 

[I am getting a vision that you (who has a more feminine energy) are more directly related to performing, such as a singer, while the other (who has a more masculine energy) is watching whether in a recording room, during a hang out together, living together or even in the audience seats. The roles could be reversed as well. The more masculine energy will likely be the one to approach the more feminine energy and the common topic brought up will be music, other than the usual ‘is this what you do?’, ‘how long had you been doing this?’ etc. Music will be a topic commonly brought up and bond over with, especially with asking each others’ opinion on certain music, genre, trying out or listening to new genre or new songs that came out etc. (it will really be a long conversation, they are very interested and very willing to hear you go off about them, your passion and what you do, whether it is your enjoyment, ranting or otherwise). Music could very well be almost always playing to fill the comfortable silence or in the background while both of you converse or do other activities such as cleaning or 🤭.]

No matter the case or nature of the relationship, you and the people involved will feel very satisfied, happy and supported in this relationship. You could very well metaphorically be the ‘sun’ in each others’ lives.

Encouragement for you. Suchlaph - Angel of Verdancy 

Let your roots take hold and let the gaze of Suchlaph fall upon you. With open hands, Suchlaph denies decay and entropy. All is verdant where Suchlaph wanders. It is the season of blossoming.

Nature could really help you in your life, clearing your mind and helping you think through things, gaining new perspective(s). This could be as simple as growing a house plant, taking a nature walk, hiking a hill / mountain to outdoors camping (near the woods / in the woods but remember to take care of your safety, camp with others too, go stargazing alone or with people (friends, family, peers etc.) too!)

You might find your gaze wondering and noticing branches, flowers or seeds more often than not when you are on the your path, they serve as a form of indication that you are on the right path. They could come in different forms, other than the common nature, trees and plants, they could appear in paintings, plays etc. Don’t deliberately seek them out but rather let yourself wonder. 

Another indication you are on the right path is when you pray (a desire for growth, not just in materialistic abundance but for learning, emotional and spiritual abundance) and show appreciation for your experiences (both the more positive ones and the not so positive ones). Remember, not all negative experiences are purely negative, there will always be something to be gained from there and could even be greater than what you could gain from the seemingly more positive ones. Be receptive and appreciative of that. 

This also indicates that you are strongly protected and guided on this nurturing journey of growth in your life. This does not mean a smooth ride and there will still be challenges so be prepared for the thrilling adventure 🤩!

There is something amazing to be gained on this journey / adventure and is very unlikely to be found in other paths. This ‘something’ is strongly connected to your happiness, self-esteem and confidence. You could very well create something(s) amazing as well! Something(s) you can be proud of, no matter what others may say.

Challenge(s) you might face on your journey. 23 - Revenge

[This is by no means to deter you from your path (all paths has their own respectively challenges), but rather something to prepare yourself for, to hopefully be able to better handle them when they come or arrive.]

There will come a time / times when you would experience great grief and/or anger, both emotions could very well fed off and to each other. This could arise from injustice or unfairness such as your work being copied and no justice was served as well as a lack of support and a potential of being berated by close people, from family and friends, especially family. 

There is probably something that people close to you frequently brought up which could very well be along the lines of ‘pursuing music is a ‘future-less’ career / path’ or might even consciously or subconsciously insult your work and/or passion (even the artists you might look up to), sometimes even going as far as to make you feel as though you are being berated by them. 

From these potential situation(s), there will come a time where you will explode in anger or in fear or sadness (becoming depressed). To fight or to continue down the same spiral? This will be the standstill in your life and/or journey where there will be a need for a decision to be made, yet there is seemingly no decision to come about for the ‘fight’. There might not be a decision or you could be willing yourself, consciously or subconsciously, to not see it. 

It is a truth or realty you don’t want to see. 

There might not be even an ‘end’ to this ‘fight’. Know what you are fighting for, know the worth of what you are fighting for, stand your ground. This is what makes you happy. This is what is important to you. 

The decision might not be a happy or desirable one nor would the outcome, but this decision you make would not be something you can avoid forever and will keep coming back to haunt you if you don’t make one. 

Even if there is a fight, it is a losing battle for all parties involved, but there will be a need to, to get points across and whether the other parties hear it, understands it or disregard it. It is a last attempt and at the very least, you can said you’d tried and leave with a potentially lesser amount of regret. 

Sometimes, the ‘fight’ can result in changing of views and compromises which is the better or even the best outcome possible. Sometimes, people need to see the impact of certain things on people at high force to realise it and finally regard it with the respect that they should had portrayed from the start. This could go both ways, you and the opposing party(s). 

Be firm and know what you believe in, especially in yourself. Don’t lose sight of it and end up being a fight where you just insult and degrade the other person. Always remind yourself what you are fighting for.

This could also be representative of the fight for opportunities as well. The career or placement you are interested in could very well be very competitive and at that time, it time for you to step up to the plate, be confident in yourself and perform, to fight for that position. 

An area of improvement would be your confidence. You would need to learn and gain confidence in yourself, your abilities as well as others, those that are supporting and helping you. To not be shy in expressing your interest and passion because that is what people are looking for, after people will become more attracted to you, to help you and support you on your journey. 

In all paths, not everyone will support you and not everyone will actively dissuade you. This is the norm and you should learn to be comfortable in your own skin in this environment. Don’t let what some others say stop you from going after what you want and had worked hard for. Learn to pick out constructive criticism and support from the not so constructive ones. 

All the best in your journey! 😁

Ask us for help if you need or want any, we’re open! 

[P.S. If you had created or ever create something, please let me have a listen! Youtube or other platforms. I’m very interested! 🤩🤩🤩 Also, DMs is open if you ever just want to talk or rant as well.]

We hope this had helped you, 🌻 Nico🐑!

For now, the little birdie shall return home 🏡 ~ Ring our doorbell whenever!

Rest well 💤 ~

[doomedandstoned]

Chicago’s Black Road Announce ‘Witch of the Future’ & Drop Single

~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~

No two bands are the same. They all start out differently, and for their own reasons. Tim M. and Suzi Uzi of Black Road decided to form the band out of what felt like pure necessity. Tim had many riffs built up from almost two decades of guitar playing. Upon showing many glimpses of skill and songwriting knowledge to Suzi, she decided to try and form a band. There was an inherent need to get these riffs and songs out to the world. In June of 2015, Tim chose the name Black Road, and the rest is history.

Upon naming the band, the couple had an uncertain view of what direction the band might take. Anthony Petrucci was asked to join in on bass, and within one month of jamming, the trio recorded an acoustic rendition of a song Tim had brought forth from his past. “Innocent Woman” can still be found on the SoundCloud account for Black Road. After much reflection, the group decided they wanted to play out as a band and needed a drummer. Dennis Franco, longtime high school friend of both Tim and Suzi’s, was asked to join in on drums. A second guitarist was also involved, Eddie Salinas. Eddie and Tim had played alongside one another for years in high school. Along with Dennis, they were known as the main guitarists during the years they and Suzi all attended the same school together.

Photographs by Matthew Vineyard

After an unorganized, but ultimately fun first gig together, the band went through immediate lineup changes. Black Road lost its second guitarist, and became a 4-piece. Another gig opportunity presented itself in November of 2015, and then-current drummer Dennis was unable to perform. A fill-in was quickly found at the music store Suzi worked. Andrew Becker became Black Road’s full-time drummer going forward, after learning the entire set as a fill-in. For about 10 months, the band wrote more songs, became tighter, and performed several times together. The lineup then changed once more in September of 2016.

Former drummer Andrew was the first one to take a step out of the band for musical differences. Suzi had quit smoking to improve her vocals and had gotten much stronger and more confident. It was then that Tim had the “okay” to pull out the heavier metal riffs he had been holding back. Simply to allow Suzi time to get stronger and the fact that heavy songs can be harder and more taxing to sing, the band hadn’t written too many songs that would be considered metal. Since this was the direction Tim and Suzi wanted to go, Andrew and then one week later Anthony, both decided they wanted to pursue other musical endeavors.

Film by Billy Goate

A drummer who had previously made contact with Suzi online immediately stepped in, Robert Gonzales. It was clear from the first time jamming with him that he would become a member of Black Road. The last thing to find was a bassist, and there were some folks who auditioned and did not end up working. Without realizing he was under their noses the entire time, bassist Casey Papp stepped forward as a local who had already seen Black Road perform and supported the band. He came to audition and Tim knew right away that he fit his style of playing and would make an excellent addition to the lineup. A couple jams later, the band was announcing the new members on Halloween of 2016, and they remain to this day.

Black Road was eventually noticed by DHU Records label head Robert Black. There were several demos out online, all recorded by John Morrison. In August of 2016, Black Road had signed with the label out of the Netherlands for a vinyl and cassette release. This may have prompted the eventual split with the former members, but it was a great source of inspiration to everyone in the current lineup. In the time the band was going through all of this, BloodRock Records (Italy) label head Enrico Spallarossa took notice, and signed the band to another deal for a CD release. There was a sense of urgency but also excitement, knowing the songs the band was learning and eventually writing together would be printed on multiple physical formats. in January of 2017, local friend Brad V. Earl tracked and recorded the band’s debut EP. It was released October 6, 2017.

Photograph by Matthew Vineyard

There were many hard lessons learned during the recording process, and the same can be said with most bands. These experiences with demos and album recordings made the eventual full-length album much easier to conceive and execute. The “Black Road EP” was well-received, and completely sold out on all formats. The band knew what they wanted and now did not want to happen for the next time they attempted the recording process. The band went through many hardships, struggled financially, and survived some intense times together...only making them stronger. The songs were written from life experiences and shared interests. The full-length album “Witch of the Future” contains songs completely written by the current lineup, whereas the EP had songs written from both incarnations of the band. An initial, separate recording session of a single track for “Witch of the Future” was done prior to the full-length, to test the capabilities and sound at Roosterbat Studios. It was released late 2018 on Bandcamp in the digital format.

The recording sessions varied, as they always do. There were bumps in the road both technical and personal. The window of time to record was limited. Already planned were a music video shoot and two tours quickly following, so the album needed to seemingly be done by then. In the time the band and labels were waiting for the mixing to be done, DHU Records proposed a 7” inch single vinyl release, and Suzi immediately said yes! Thanks to original artwork created by Shane Horror, a mock-up became a reality in less than a month. 50 copies were printed and the tiny clear vinyl sold out in a mere 20 minutes. It was also thanks to the quick work of John Becker that the single was made possible. He and Alec Haley tracked, recorded and mixed the full-length album at Roosterbat Studios. It was then handed over to DHU Records favorite Tony Reed at HeavyHead Recording Co. for mastering on all formats. Over 2 years in the making, “Witch of the Future” can finally be brought to the present. It is the culmination of the band’s progress, triumphs, and failures.

Album Notes

Tim M. lead the songs as usual with his soaring riffs. Melodic and harmonic, they set the tone for the vocals. All lyrics and vocals are done by Suzi Uzi, with Tim doing backing vocals on a few tracks. There is synth and tambourine sprinkled throughout, but not overdone. Robert Gonzales took charge of the recording sessions! He absolutely nailed his drum takes during the live recordings, while Casey Papp complimented his every beat with some killer, amazing bass.

After having super solid takes, vocals and guitar solos were added, as well as percussion and synth, to round out the sound. The ambience of the studio and the relaxed nature of the entire process comes out in the album. The single "Witch of the Future" was first released as a live track in 2017, then again in 2018 as a standalone digital single. It was completely redone in the studio and is released as the title track for this album. “Blood on the Blade” was released for the music video and as a single, but has been remixed and remastered for the “Witch of the Future” album release. A bonus track in included in the digital release, previously released as Side B of the “Blood on the Blade” 7” vinyl single.

From The Band

“There were many people who helped bring this to the light. Artists like Nick Gurley have helped make a name for us by presenting one-of-a-kind pieces inspired by the music, that made a lasting impression. Music videos can be found thanks to Don Corthier and Liza Moon, which have been the source for thousands of people discovering Black Road. Friends have helped record demos, take photos, and get video up online for others. All of the support from reviewers, blogs, and interviewers have helped get people involved and interested in following the band. We feel so humbled by hard-working people like DHU Records and BloodRock Records, and we are honored to be on their roster! It is a community effort, and we are one big family. We wouldn’t be here without you all, and we are eternally grateful. We live by the golden rule and the future looks super bright. Thank you for being a part of this journey trippin’ down Black Road with us!”

First Single

And now, Doomed & Stoned proudly presents the single "Hash King" from 'Witch of the Future' (2019) by Black Road, coming to DHU Records on Halloween, with pre-orders beginning on Friday, September 13th.

Give Ear...

Follow The Band

Get Their Music

#D&S Debuts #Black Road #Chicago #Illinois #DHU Records #Stoner Rock #Blues #Doom #Metal #Doomed & Stoned

[gg-astrology]

@scoups_bf on Twitter asked Seungcheol from Seventeen his birth time at a fansign, and he said roughly around 9:00 in the morning, in case that gives any insight into his chart.

Hey there! ❤️❤️❤️ Thanks for telling me, I was quaking so hard when I saw this ask late night… I checked it out @seungcheolsboyfriend ​/ @scoups_bf on twt ✨definitely did God’s Work for us and took it upon himself to Ask The One True question… (also this is a Win for the gays 🏳️‍🌈congratulations!! I’m so happy for you!!❤️)

[Below Cut: A lil bit more on Choi Seungcheol’s  Natal Chart  ✨ ]

Note: This is an abridged version, a little more censored about the private stuff in his natal chart. ❤️ I give/take around 8.30am, 9am, 9.30am for this one ❤️ I decided to use Whole Signs to get a clearer look ✨ It’s just my thoughts/opinions so please read with discretion! ❤️ This is just to maybe hopefully add a little more to the Seungcheol Overview I did earlier ✨

Definitely the first thing we all noticed was that the rising could probably fall between Libra /Virgo ❤️ And isn’t that just so?? fitting for scoups?? ❤️ I think I cried seeing his talent triangles (his tiny trine and 2 sextiles) – Pluto rx (Scorpio) Uranus/Neptune rx (Capricorn) and Saturn rx (Pisces). 

And the other one with Mars (Libra) Jupiter (Sagittarius) and Sun/Venus (Leo) 

The one thing that got to me was his Pluto rx (Scorpio) and Uranus rx (Capricorn) exactly at 27′49 (so 0′00) — so much power, intensity and transformative power. Strong desire, no matter what house it’s actually in. 

When it’s in a talent triangle (with all retrogrades) that’s a lot of self-transformation, regeneration and assertion in one’s strength– to come through as a talent, foundation, and ability to use his own empowerment (through hardship/challenges) to connect and bring changes to people around him as well.

With retrograde, there’s a lot of energy that’s spinning inwards (towards the person). Internalized energy is common, especially with Saturn (choosing to put on a brave face, hiding fear of uncertainty. Of not making ‘the right choice’ – guilt and doubt associated to the this) Uranus/Neptune (restlessness, suspicion of others, wanting to rebel but also abiding/hiding to look like the norm)  and Pluto (fear of manipulation, of vulnerability. Fear of betrayal or looking ‘weak’)

With all of that in his talent triangle, it makes sense that whilst those are part of his strength— but it also has potential to heal, become balanced and understood. One of the thing that stood out immediately was his Chiron/Ceres being pretty close to the ASC.

Chiron and Ceres being close to his ASC (whether it falls in Libra/Virgo) – points to potential for someone who may strongly identify with healing of others (after understanding their own pains) lots of dedication and nurturing, also being nurtured by others (it can also indicate food and fashion, organizing and managing other’s life, giving advice and caring about their health/how they look physically – as indicated by Virgo Ceres)  

Ceres and Chiron in 12H or 1H– whether it’s conjunct to the ASC or not– can also indicate a person’s conscious awareness (or addiction) to their own well-being, their physicality (behaviorally, how they treat themselves). With Virgo as an earth and mutable sign, it’s nature combined with Chiron/Ceres can make someone feel/think a lot of their self-consciousness. Bringing an emphasis on their health, mental well-being, services to others (which they’ll have to struggle and work through– as indicated by Chiron, in order to bring it to the fore-front and help/heal others as well)

It plays a significant role on the person’s behavioral pattern, their mentality and how they’re perceived, as well as how they see themselves. There’s a lot of service, ‘giving back’ nature when it’s in the 12H/1H. In embodying this health (or personal mental well-being/strength) or spiritually healing/giving to others with it— scoups’s asc (no matter whether it’s Virgo/Libra) will also show signs of this demonstrative, practical ‘giving back’ nature as well. 

It’s so cool to see this– because Ceres can often indicate reactivity. Whether it’s spiritually or up-front, it wants to be nurtured and likes being taken care of.

There’s a shy subtle side to Virgo Ceres/Chiron — where on one hand they do want to be acknowledged/subtly taking care of others. Yet on the other hand they may sometimes not speak, or ask for the things they truly want/need. Because their internal energy is through demonstration—so a lot of people with these aspects (especially in these houses) may often show that they want this/that. But won’t ask for it/expects others to read and understand their gestures for something.  

His Sun and Jupiter being in domicile, while Mars lies in detriment within the other talent triangle– gives power to his self-assertion, energy, knowledge and wisdom to shine through. Libra Mars may be in detriment (whether it’s in 1H or 2H) – but the emphasis here is that he may be able to learn, grow and let others lead if he knows he’s being slightly too dogmatic/forceful at a given time (context).

It makes more sense to look at them together, his Libra Mars (1H/2H) would point to areas in the house where he’ll have to ‘let up on’, instead of using his Sun/Jupiter to ‘guard’ against others for (lessons in personal vs others, letting others into their personal– shifting/adapting what’s ‘theirs’ into ‘ours’— houses in 1H/12H, 11H or 3H/4H)  

Traditional values runs strong, especially what’s learnt at the beginning/childhood and what was nurtured/taught to him to value (boundaries). He may guard it fiercely, but within that. The talent triangle might teach him how to grow/learn and make the best of it by using it differently.

Evaluate his own identity/self-assertion, his appearance (keeping an image) financial/material assets that he may be possessive over (has to do with self-identity and kinda…the fear of having that autonomy/things associated to his personal well-fare/being taken away from him)— these can point to his Libra Mars protecting/guarding itself by being irrational, clingy/possessive or what we might call “selfish”– over those areas (wanting to be ‘fair/just’ to itself– but within that, wanting to ‘share’ itself/good-will with others)

Sun/Jupiter could be in 11H/3H or 12H/4H. There’s a generous nature to both Leo and Sagittarius. Giving and caring. It may be nobby heads most of the time, but within the 11H or 12H (for his Sun) – there’s a compassionate nature that could appease this Libra Mars. 

Helping him learn how to heal, give and share himself with others. This is like a ‘gate’ – and then Jupiter in 3H/4H may need a little abit more explaining. Jupiter ultimately wants the best things for the ‘family, siblings, roots and traditions’.

Although the concept or idea of these things can be static/stagnant on what’s considered ‘family, siblings, roots, values, tradition’ – there’s ultimately a highlighted expansive nature to Jupiter. 

What’s considered his ‘roots, siblings, families, traditions’ can benefit a lot depending on how he grew up surrounded by (what’s considered those things). Jupiter can share, protect, guide (‘let up’) and be generous with those it identifies with, grew up alongside. It becomes proud and protective, over those they care about and shares itself to.

Good-will is prominent in this other talent triangle, but seeing his placements possibly being in 11H/12H (Sun/Venus/Pallas/Vesta/Mercury) – especially with Sun/Venus conjunct (4′) really makes me happy because he’s such a genuinely good-willed, sometimes protective but also very nurture/wanting to be nurtured–progressively healing and half the time, a self-sacrificing/self-assertive dichotomy of an individual.

It’s also genuinely nice to see how Aquarius Pars Fortunae could potentially be in 5H/6H. Health is a thing with Seungcheol— particularly if he needs to control/use it well in order to manifest that Chiron/Ceres ASC stuff properly (looking out/after himself). Aquarius Pars Fortunae talks about a little more refinement, particularly on the personal areas (how they treat/think of themselves and thus– how they exert/show it to the world). When their fortune comes flooding through, it has to do with how structured, progressive, refining and adaptable they are.  

This also helps in cutting back on Moon in detriment (Capricorn), dissecting and refining his ego/self and thoughts about what/how he should manifest. If he can use some of the Aquarius’s realigning, some re-thinking/shaping and not let his Leo/Capricorn sun-moon control his ego/emotions– he would benefit a lot from his health improving, and having an easier time being independent/stable away from extremities/bad behavioral habits or core prejudice (coming from the roots/traditions) as well.

Alot of health and taking care of himself stuff for Seungcheol ❤️ But potentially it’ll be good on cutting down and helping that retrograde triangle as well ❤️ While there may be a lot of ‘strength’– there’s also a lot that talks about self-healing, self-regeneration and we shouldn’t forget about that especially w/ own  Pluto/Chiron as well ❤️

I hope this is?? good?? ❤️ I hope it makes sense at least ❤️❤️ Again, this is just my little take on it so please feel free to do your own reading/research as well! ❤️

EDIT: oh yeah and here’s:

Virgo ASC 💜

Libra ASC ❤️

and

Leo Sun - Capricorn Moon 👅 | 

From the Sun-Moon Catalogue  ❤️ (we’re still trying to get all of them!❤️ So if you have one of the missing placements, feel free to request it in!❤️)

#svt astrology #seventeen astrology #choi seungcheol #scoups #svt scoups #svt seungcheol #cheollie #kpop astrology #svt scenarios #svt imagines #svt reactions #scoups imagines #scoups reactions #scoups scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen reactions #seventeen scenarios #anon #asks #seungcheolsboyfriend #seungcheol seventeen #seventeen seungcheol #seventeen #svt #seungcheol astrology #scoups astrology

[thereseoutspoken]

10 things I wish I knew (and told myself) at 20

20 is still a very young age

When I just became 20, I felt like I was a full grown woman, for the very reason that I was already out of my teenage years. I felt like I was already mature, and independent, and I felt like I should be serious with my life because I am already old enough. I couldn’t say these assumptions were all wrong. But I wish I could have told myself that 20 is still a very young age. It was an end chapter for my teen spirit, but twenty is only the beginning of a new one. Basically, at this age, you shouldn’t feel too old yet. Yes, you can still play dress ups on Friv, feel giddy over a childish crush, not know how to use the ATM machine, and still want your mom’s assistance during dental check ups. You have your entire life ahead of you to grow and learn. Right now, at twenty, just take things slow.

     2. Taking risks is different from gambling. Avoid the latter.

I have been told countless times by friends (and even the guy I fell in love with) that I should learn how to take risks. I should have listened. At times I am such a coward for not even trying. So yes, I should have listened when they said I should take some risks. But when they told me to take risks even though things are uncertain, I’m going to get hurt, or even if it’s not worth it, I disagreed. Know how to take risks… and when to take risks. Sometimes taking risks even if it’s not worth it could lead to so much pain, which also requires a great amount of time for healing. You could have used the time for healing for waiting on something you could have deserved at the right time, but instead you used it for risking on something uncertain and unworthy (At least there’s the learning part, though). So I tell you this: learn to take risks at the right circumstance. Do not gamble on ambivalence.Because part of taking risks is knowing (and internalizing) what’s at stake.

      3. You will fall in love with the wrong person and you don’t need to force them to be the right one.

Part of growing up is learning to open your heart to love. And part of loving is welcoming the pain, and accepting the things that are beyond our control. Sometimes, when we fall in love, we set aside their bad qualities because we love them. Sometimes it gets toxic and the hurt never stops yet we remain because again, we love them.

We just love the person so much that we want to make them better by changing them, or we change for them to adapt to their standards. But that shouldn’t be the way it is. If you want to change, do it for yourself and not for others, the same way change should transpire to them. It’s not your role to change who people are. More than that, you can’t make them right for you when they are obviously the wrong one.

I get that it’s not love if it doesn’t hurt, but if it puts you in agony more than it makes you feel safe and secured, then it’s not the love you deserve. Self-worth over feelings. At all times.

That’s why when you fall for the wrong person, don’t force them to be the right one. You’ll just end up draining yourself because you will be the only one left trying to keep the relationship together.

    4. As much as you will gain new friends, you will also lose some and that’s okay.

Every year I meet new people who, in the long run, become friends. That didn't change when I was 20. I established such awesome relationships with new friends and it felt so good—extending my circle a little bigger. But as much as I gained new companions, I also lost some. Some were because of big fights, others were just…well, we simply grew apart and realized we didn't need each other for our personal growths. At first I felt disappointed that it had to end that way. But then a vlogger said in one of her YouTube videos that “you don't grow up if you don't lose friends.” And I started to think that yes, she was right. In order for you to grow, you have to let go of what's keeping you from being a better version of yourself. If your relationship with anyone gets toxic, drop it. If it's not doing you any good anymore, calmly walk away. Part of growing up is letting go of what's hindering you from flourishing. Just be thankful for the ones who stayed and bid your silent farewell for the ones who left (or needed to leave).

    5. Start planning what’s next for you

You don’t need to figure everything out all at once. Life is still a blur at 20. But that shouldn’t stop you from envisioning what’s next for you. Commonly, at 20, people are already looking for a job, planning out their career path especially after graduation. I couldn’t say I wasn’t pressured looking at my friends being busy making resumes, travelling to different towns, being  wanted by two or more companies, and there I was… not knowing what to do with my life.

I don’t regret where I’m at in life right now. But if I could turn back time, I wish I’d have made concrete plans for my future self. 

    6. Try something new, even if you start out being bad at it.

I am always known for being a writer. If my name gets mentioned to people who barely know me, they usually say “you know, the journalist” or “the writer-slash-editor from Crusader”. A part of me is happy and proud that I have already established that image for myself. But somehow, I wanted to do new things. I wanted to branch out from writing because I felt like writing was the only craft I knew what to do; so I delved into photography. I always had a thing for good photos and also aspired to shoot such epic sceneries or emotions. I didn't have the equipment though, so I just borrowed from friends. I had a couple of photos published in the official page of the student pub, and also had several shoots with friends. But I knew I wasn't that good yet. I still had a hard time with the camera settings, my photos get blurred most of the times, and I still had a lot to learn. But the worst thing about exploring new things is being discouraged to excel at it. I have been told I am not considered as an artist, or that I should just stick to writing, or I should stop feeling like I'm an artist. Aside from the fact that my skills in photography aren't really that exceptional to be worthy of a handshake or an “artist” label, I gave up on photography because the people around me didn't believe in me the same way I put myself down for not being good enough.

And that was one of my regrets. I should have told myself that “hey, it's okay. You are still a beginner. Allow yourself to learn and improve.” I focused too much on my insecurities and other people's comments that I had to let the craft go. But now, I will pursue it once more.

You, wanting to learn more is okay. You, starting out as a loser is definitely normal. But you, surrendering because you feel like it's not for you just because you suck at it or people discourage you, is undeniably unacceptable. You do you. Soon you will be great at it and you will thank yourself for not giving up.

    7. 20 isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. Bask in the rain, overcome the storms.

The day I officially left the teenage life, I asked 20 to be better. 19 was rough for me, so I hoped 20 would be a lot easier, with a more stable emotional and mental state. Buuuutttt, I was wrong. It was actually pretty worse. Right now I’m just laughing at those struggles, but back in the day, I didn’t even know how to make it through the storm.

Needless to say, if 20 was a weather, she’d be a moody bitch, because it wasn’t consistently bad. There were also good days where I was thankful to just relax in the pouring rain or be happy because of the sunshine that reflects my soul. Actually, this doesn’t only apply when you’re 20. You can experience hardships and get through with it at any age. And that’s what makes surviving beautiful— you get to witness seasons and the weather change, and through it all you can finally say, “I made it past the gloomy days.”  

    8. Start being extra responsible.

I always wanted to work in Manila, but my parents do not quite agree with that plan. My mom would say things like, “Who would take care of you there?”, “Are you sure you’re responsible enough to live on your own?”. When I get sick or fail to do what she instructed me to do, she’d say, “See? You don’t even know how to take care of yourself.”, “You can’t be that irresponsible when you are in Manila.” So I thought about it for a long time. I know I am independent. But am I responsible?

I changed my goal from wanting to prove my mom that she was wrong, to proving myself that I can make things work on my own. Now I do things that adults do, like getting a TIN card, or spending for myself with no allowance from my parents. Maybe these are just little things, but they are stepping stones to being a responsible adult.

You have to think like you’re preparing yourself to live in Manila or any place far from home. Imagine how you can handle things without their financial support or physical guidance. Not only will you learn not to rely on them all the time, you’ll also grow and learn new things that can help you in the long run.

    9. Invest on things that you feel would help you be better.

Being 20 for me was full of negativity. A lot of things made me feel bad, and in result I got emotional and would often cry. But I learned that just like medicines, there are things in life that could relieve you from pain. All you have to do is invest on the ones that could make you be or feel better. In my case, I invested more on my spiritual growth. Some of you may not be (so) religious, but trust me when I say you have a God you can rely on. If you lift your inhibitions and worries to him, he will lighten your load.

Another thing worthy to invest on is self-care. I have been such a mess and would often cry in desperation because I didn't know how to get rid of the emotional pain I was feeling. But a good friend of mine, Winstar, made me a pinterest board full of tips on how to handle anxiety and execute self-care. It was great being reminded that I had to make myself better and I had to focus on my well-being, too.

    10. You are at your own pace

There are times when I can’t help but feel jealous over people who, at such a young age are already successful. While I’m just at home scribbling on my laptop, other people my age are already making a name for themselves. Some are already full-time employees, or opening their own businesses. Others are on their way to law school or med school.

On the contrary, I also have friends who are still starting out with their plans in life. Some friends would tell me, “You’re even lucky you’re done schooling. I’m not even graduating yet.” or “You’ve reached so much in life, while I haven’t even achieved anything yet.”

And it became clear to me: we’re the ones making competitions for ourselves with others. Perhaps the system and the society is pushing us to be this and that, to achieve this and bring honor to whom. But we’re only putting so much pressure on ourselves trying to race with the progress of others when in fact we have our own pace.

So what I have learned from all of this is: focus on your growth, your progress, your own fulfillment. Others may already be at their 4th lap while you’ve just started the engine. But so what? Others’ finish line is not your finish line.

You haven’t found the right career yet? You’re extended in college? Others are already getting married but you’re still single? That’s perfectly fine. Just continue the drive and soon you’ll get there.

#writing #creative writing #narrative #self love #self care #20 #life #literature #better #lifestyle #advice #wordsofwisdom

[mirronx]

Mirron Talks Craft: 001

Granted I doubt I’ll write one hundred of these things, let alone more than that, but if I do I won’t have to add another zero later on. Little things like that would be kind of annoying to me.

Anyways, I said I’m going to try to talk about my magical practices more, so here I am. I’m Mirron, and if you’re seeing this chances are you’re some kind of magical practioner. Or you wandered into the magic section of Tumblr in which case welcome. Today I’m going to talk about my basic ritual set up, why I go through the steps I do and in the order I do, and just generally try to solidify this aspect of my practice.

I’ll start by saying I don’t turn everything into a full fledged ritual. Magic doesn’t require a huge ostentatious setup each time you want to practice. But like many things I find that the more work you put into things the better off it is overall. How much work you want to put into it is dependent on what all you’re doing. For instance I regularly do divination work without much more than a simple cleansing, I don’t find that it’s really necessary for me. This can vary from person to person, but the rule of thumb is to make sure you maximize your effort. If it’s too much work for too little gain drop some stuff, and even if it’s all helpful sometimes you don’t need more help.

That being said, I’m going to walk through the full blown ritually stuff, so let’s get into things.

Section One: Pre Ritual.

1. So the very first thing, before anything else you want to do, is actually make sure you have everything you need and prepared everything you can ahead of time. For me at least I find that if my focus is wandering or I’m stuck trying to look up something last minute because it feels important it kind of throws my rhythm. It’s extremely mundane, but very important. I recommend a cheat sheet of sorts if you really want a more formal structure. While trying to memorize everything is fine and well sometimes that can be very difficult. It’s a lot like giving a speech. Doing the entire thing off the cuff can be difficult, but trying to rigidly follow an outline isn’t helpful either. So simple guidelines. If you like to do any sort of music or incense and it isn’t part of a specific act of the ritual this is where I’d start it up too.

2. For clarification I’m defining ritual as whatever it is you’re actually going out to do. You can certainly do the next two steps on their own but I tend to use them as a build up for more. Which brings up to the next step, laying a foundation/warding.

If you’re magically active chances are you already have wards up. I find that setting a ward on top of that though helps. Part of that is it focuses the intent, and part of it is that it helps get me into the right mind frame. I tend to think of it as setting walls (whether they’re more round, flat, or pointy can vary on what your intent with the ritual is, I won’t get into that but those are the categories I think of walls like typically). One for each compass direction, and then above and below. There are numerous ways you can go about this, but typically the way I think of it is calling on guardians in each direction. The idea being that once you’ve properly warded/set the foundation/cast the mold you move on to the next step.

3. Step three is where actual cleansing comes in. Different people will switch the order of steps two and three, or even view them as the same thing or do one rite to establish both. There isn’t a wrong way to approach it I find, but I find separating them out, at least conceptually, is helpful. As for why I prefer to establish wards before cleansing I think of it as walling off the specific area from outside interference (exceptions for things I specifically call on) and then clearing it out. If I reversed it to me I’d want to clear a larger area than I’m necessarily working on and then block it off. It also to me makes sense to focus on what you’re doing and then start doing it, but this is based on how I’m framing things.

For cleansing there are a number of ways. I favor a variation of the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram, tweaked (heavily) for my Pagan sensibilities. Incense is a common way (if using incense do be sure to have proper ventilation, it’s easy to forget this and in my small room it gets very heady if I don’t open a door or window), as well as various other chants or practices. What’s important is that you have established your sacred place, and are now cleansing it of impurities. This is where you will work and do your magic.

Ritual

1. So now we actually come to more ritual heavy acts. But even here there are still various things I tend to do before I actually start working. I like to, for lack of a better term, charge the atmosphere with the specific kind of focus of what I’m doing. If you’re wanting to do a ritual that involves water you’d want to bring in water energy. If it’s judgment you’d bring in... I don’t know, Saturn-feeling energy, so on and so forth. By bringing in the energy and saturating things you help to fill the vacuum of energy you created when you did the cleansing. Nature abhors a vacuum, and I find this is true in magic as well. By filling it with what you want you don’t have to worry about anything later on messing with it.

2. Here is where I call on the deities, spirits, and other entities I’m working with. All work can be made easier with help, and it doesn’t hurt to ask. I’m... exceedingly informal (granted from what I can see Tumblr isn’t too off from that normally), so I would probably just state what I’m doing and ask for any help from any entities I’m currently working with that feel they can help. You may want to approach it more concretely. My general statement is something to the effect of “if there are any deities or spirits I’m working with who feel like helping I would appreciate it. Please take from the energy I gathered and lend your aid.”, or something to that effect. I tend for a more impromptu in the moment request so it’s hard to think of the specifics. The intent being that you aren’t “forcing” anyone to help if they don’t want. I’m not a fan of that kind of framework that you see in ceremonial magic. Voluntary help is the only way, and the offering of energy is good too as a show you’re willing to properly compensate them.

3. And now we actually come to the main thing you’re trying to do. Are you crafting a comprehensive sigil? A love spell? Financial hardships? Actually crafting a spell is a whole thing that I want to dig into, but for now I’m leaving this area kind of open. There is a lot that can fit in here. Today for instance I’m going to consecrate my ritual items for a specific thing I’m going to start doing, which will involve a lot of chanting as that’s my favorite method of raising energy.

Post Ritual

1. After all of that work I find that divination is helpful to make sure that everything went smoothly. If it didn’t you don’t want to take down your entire setup before trying to problem solve. Maybe it just needs a bit more effort in a particular problem area, or maybe it needs to be rethought entirely. If you did divination before hand it shouldn’t be anything too major with any luck, but sometimes that happens. Whatever the case divination to see how things went to me makes sense.

2. Thanking all who helped. Even if that’s just the universe and magic itself I find that offering thanks is important, even more so if any specific entities were involved. If you have any sort of specific offerings now would be a good time for them, and if not then taking care of it on your own time is a good idea. Either way thanks for the help you receive is important. None of us do this all alone, and thanking yourself too is important, even if that seems unusual.

3. And here you dispel the energy that wasn’t used and take down the wards. I find that if you aren’t intending on keeping them up it’s not too difficult to do that, which is why it’s lumped in as one step. Another cleansing ritual, with the intent being to dispel any remaining energy (the spell should have taken what it needed already and moved on, so don’t worry about impacting the magic) you didn’t use.

And... that’s it, more or less. It’s not always going to be followed that rigidly, but I’ll tend to involve all of those steps and roughly follow that order.

#personal #witchcraft #magic #pagan

[podcastdx]

Parkinson's Caregiving

Our guest on todays show is Elizabeth "Liz" Coy.  She is a full time Business Development Executive, and now also a caregiver for her dad who has developed Parkinson's.  

People with Parkinson’s disease rely on caregivers for a wide range of support — from driving them to doctors’ appointments to helping them get dressed. As the disease progresses, dependence on caregivers increases substantially.

Caregivers can help people with Parkinson’s adjust to the disease’s effects on the body. And knowing that a loved one is cared for can help the entire family adjust to the diagnosis.

But the person with Parkinson’s disease isn’t the only one who should be cared for.

Caregivers must take care of themselves too. Being a caregiver can be a complicated — as well as a physically and emotionally draining — experience.

Here are 12 ways to handle your role as a caregiver without neglecting your own well-being.

  1. Educate yourself

As caregiver, it’s important for you to become familiar with all aspects of the disease. This will ensure better care for the patient and easier transitions for you as the disease progresses.

It will take time and continual effort for you to learn about the many varied Parkinson’s symptoms and how to manage them. As time goes on, you will also need to learn about medication regimens, which can be complex.

Several organizations, including The National Alliance for Caregiving and the Family Caregiver Alliance, provide assistance and care specifically to caregivers. These caregiver support groups offer:

education seminars

enrichment resources

connections to other individuals in similar situations

2. Prepare

Parkinson’s disease begins very slowly. It typically starts with a small tremor in one hand or difficulty walking or moving. Because of this, the role of caregiving is often thrust on a person with very little warning or a chance for preparation.

But once the diagnosis is made, you will lessen future stress by preparing now for the road ahead. Much of the work can wait, but you will want to start thinking now about the basics, such as:

Who will do food shopping and prepare meals?

How will medications be stored and administered?

What will have to change in the home setup to keep things safe and easy?

Of course, everything doesn’t have to change at once. And your loved one can probably share in a lot of it in the beginning. Talk with your doctors and other medical professionals about when and how much to restructure your lives.

As your loved one’s Parkinson’s progresses, their mental abilities will likely diminish. They will be less able to make decisions and plan.

At that point, prioritizing planning ahead will help both of you. Using an app may be helpful to make daily schedules as well as reminders for appointments, visitors, and special occasions.

3. Be involved

When a loved one is diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, treatment for the disease should begin almost immediately. This is a time of major change not only for the person with Parkinson’s but also for you, the caregiver.

Doctors strongly encourage caregivers to attend doctors’ appointments. Your input may help your doctor understand:

how the disease is progressing

how the treatments are working

what side effects are occurring

As Parkinson’s disease progresses, dementia may make the patient’s memory worse. By going to the appointment, you can help remind your loved one of what the doctor said or instructed. Your role during this time is especially important to the treatment plan.

​4. Establish a team

Many family members, friends, and neighbors will be happy to help if you need to run errands or just take a break. Keep a handy list of people you can call on occasionally when you need help.

Next, designate which people are the best to call on for specific situations. Some people may be more helpful with certain tasks, like grocery shopping, mailing packages, or picking up children from school.

​

5. Develop a support group

Caring for a loved one can be deeply satisfying. It’s a chance for your family to draw together as you face the challenges of Parkinson’s disease head-on.

However, providing emotional and physical care for someone with an illness can become stressful and, at times, overwhelming. Balancing your personal life with caregiving can be difficult. Many caregivers will face periods of feeling guilty, angry, and abandoned.

Of course, you don’t have to experience this alone. Support from other family members or professionals can help:

relieve stress

reevaluate approaches to treatment

offer new perspective on the caregiving relationship

Ask your doctor or your local hospital’s health outreach office for contact information for a Parkinson’s disease caregiving group. The person you’re caring for will likely also benefit from being part of a support group.

Support groups allow for open communication with other people facing the same struggles. These groups also provide an opportunity to share suggestions, ideas, and tips among the group members.

HEALTHLINE RESOURCE

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LEARN MORE

  6. Seek professional assistance

Especially in the latter stages of Parkinson’s disease, caring for your loved one may become more difficult. When this happens, you may need to seek professional care from a care facility or organization.

Certain symptoms and side effects of Parkinson’s disease may be best treated with professional assistance or home health nurses, or in a nursing home environment. These symptoms and side effects may include:

difficulty walking or balancing

dementia

hallucinations

severe depression

  7. Hire outside help if you need it

At some point, you may feel that both you and your support network are stretched thin. You’re tired, and you don’t feel comfortable asking friends and family to pick up the slack.

But the yard really needs upkeep. And the house isn’t as clean as it should be. And suddenly, it seems, you’re totally out of food, as well as the energy to go grocery shopping.

Hiring a gardener, a house cleaner, or a grocery delivery service can help if this is an option for you. Your physical well-being will thank you for it.

  8. Build a good relationship

Caring for a loved one with Parkinson’s can place a great deal of stress on your relationship. A person you love is changing both physically and mentally, and both of you are needing to adapt.

The Michael J. Fox Foundation recommends keeping communication as open as possible and being flexible with your changing roles. Be aware that some changes, such as new apathy or irritability, is not directed personally at you.

If both you and your loved one are willing, consider consulting a therapist together. You can work through any of the anger, denial, or upset you are feeling, and find ways to keep your relationship healthy and loving.

  9. Manage your stress

As caregiver, you are going to feel stress. You may feel fear, anger, helplessness, and more as you meet new challenges every day.

It’s important for you to know what triggers your stress and develop practices to manage your emotions and release them effectively. Journal writing, going for a walk, or calling a friend can all help.

Other coping skills might include:

Do something you enjoy. Tend the garden, talk to a neighbor, or read a book. Take at least a few minutes every day to enjoy yourself.

Try deep breathing. Even spending 1 minute taking 10 or so deep breaths can give your mind a rest and your energy a boost.

Get a massage. Getting a massage can release stress and give you the much-needed sense of being cared for.

Try a TV show. It’s OK. Be a couch potato for a half-hour or so. Watch your favorite TV show. It may help distract you from difficulties.

Exercise. This is one of the best stress-busters there is. Make time for it and find one you enjoy.

  10. Be realistic

As a Parkinson’s caregiver, it is sometimes hard to remain rooted in the here and now.

In one moment, you might harbor hope that your loved one will somehow miraculously return to normal and be themselves again. In the next moment, you might think differently.

These are the times to take a few deep breaths and focus on how things truly are in this moment. Ungrounded fears and hopes can distract you from carrying on with life as it is.

If you need it, professional help can teach you tools and tips for how to do this. Mindfulness training, talk therapy, and meditation are all avenues you might explore.

  11. Pay attention

The Parkinson’s Foundation points out that part of caring for your own mental and emotional well-being comes from noticing and understanding the changes both you and your loved one are experiencing.

The physical abilities of your loved one will change over time — and sometimes very suddenly. It is up to you to notice the change since they may not. By paying attention to these changes and managing them, you can make the road ahead easier for both of you.

You also have to keep a close eye on your own changes. ResearchTrusted Source shows that Parkinson’s caregivers frequently experience depression and anxiety, and their quality of sleep often diminishes.

  12. Care for the caregiver

Whether you’re a spouse, parent, child, or friend, your role as a caregiver is to be on call 24/7. You’ll likely feel as if your entire world revolves around your loved one, while your personal life takes a backseat.

ResearchTrusted Source shows that caregiver burden is high among Parkinson’s caregivers, who likely face emotional, social, physical, and financial challenges as a result.

As the demands of caring for a loved one increase, many caregivers neglect their own health. It’s important to be proactive and take care of yourself. Keep current with your own medical appointments and healthcare needs.

Other things you can do to stay in shape include:

eat a balanced diet

exercise regularly

get proper sleep

schedule social activities for yourself

get temporary respite care when you need it

  Takeaway

Caregiving for someone you love who has Parkinson’s is a major undertaking that can bring changes and challenges to every aspect of your life.

You will likely face emotional and physical hurdles, but also joy and the pleasure of helping someone you love. A brief prescription for succeeding as a caregiver includes:

educating yourself

asking for help when you need it

taking care of yourself

Don’t be shy about asking your medical providers, caregiving organizations, friends, and family for help. You need to do everything you can not only to help your loved one, but to also keep yourself healthy and positive as well. (credits to Healthline)

Check out this episode!

#health care #medical #podcastDX #illness #surgery #recovery

[melasvera]

Painless. Fearless. Reckless. (Bendy x Reader). Part 1

A/N: So, real quick. There is going to be a sort of a prequel I'm writing along side this story about Henry's life called "The Life and Times of Henry." It's not required to read to understand this, because they are both being written at the same time. It's just there to give my little head cannon on Henry.

I have this story pretty much mapped out in my head, just got to get it down.

I'm going to try my best to make sure that the Reader is not OP or Mary-Sueish. I'm giving her flaws to try to even out her inability to feel both fear and pain.

Yes, I am using two characters I used in another, unrelated fic. The two fics do not correlate, I just like my characters and I'm to lazy to create two totally new ones when I want the same personalities. Basically, I'm lazy.

This is pretty much just a setup chapter.

Enjoy!

“The Powers That Be” tended to flip-flop on what kind of hand you should be dealt with. Sometimes the cards they gave you were a blessing; loving and caring parents, good friends, no financial issues, artistic talent, and passing grades. Life would be great, if The Powers that-just-won’t-leave-you-the-fuck Be didn’t turn around and give you a rotten hand; such as your health.

Your body was pretty much in good condition. No failing organs, no abnormal cell growth, nothing truly hospital worthy, but that could change at the turn of a dime.

See, you were born with the inability to feel, or more correctly react appropriately, to pain. Pressure could be felt, so could temperature, but you didn’t react like you should. 

You didn’t cry, you didn’t flinched, you didn’t do anything. In fact, you never could tell when something painful happened to you.

The doctors said you had congenital insensitivity to pain, or CIP for short. This lead to you parents being overly attentive and concerned for you well being. They were always worried you would be one of the people who died in childhood because of your condition. Especially after that one time you fell out of a tree and walked away with broken ribs, and some pretty severe gashes, without knowing anything was wrong with you.

And your health issues didn’t end there.

It was sometime around your seventh birthday when your second “issue” was discovered. It was amazing that it was found out at all, since you didn’t experience many of it’s physical symptoms, and what you did could be easily mistaken for your constant mishaps with your CIPs.

You were just going in for a CT scan to see if you had fractured your skull in your latest incident when an eagle-eyed technician spotted something rare. Or, well, even rarer than CIP.

Calcification centered around your medial temporal lobes. Closer examination showed that your amygdala was utterly destroyed. Tests showed that while you still experienced most emotions you could no longer feel fear.

You were fearless and could not feel pain.

And for a child, for anyone really, that was dangerous to your well-being.

Your friends and family got even more protective of you after that diagnosis.

This lead to your parents deciding it would be best to be brutally honest with you when teaching you about the world, and to not sugar coat anything for you. Despite how much it hurt them they figured it was better to have you worried, which was the closest to fear that you could get, and vigilant than naive and careless.

It was repeatedly drilled into your head what was considered “good” and “bad.”

You shouldn’t go up to hug random strangers without someone you knew, because you never know if that person will use you the way no child should. No matter if they offered you candy or pleas to help find their lost dog. Doing that is “bad.”

If someone points some kind of weapon at you or a loved one that is bad and it would be best to get away as fast as you can, and don’t forget to call the cops because you wouldn’t want that to happen to someone you knew, they, or you, could be killed! And that would make mommy and daddy very sad. Which would “bad.”

If there is anything going through your skin it’s more than likely “bad” and should be dealt with accordingly.

Blood oozing for more than fifteen seconds is more than likely “bad” and should be dealt with accordingly.

No matter how interesting or cute any creature is, stay a good distance away. They may try to hurt you and no one would be able to get you to a hospital in time. Also “bad.”

No matter how much someone bugs you don’t take the drugs or drink they offer, you have enough problems to worry about. Doing so is “bad.”

Going anywhere alone is “bad,” because the world is mean to girls who go to places alone.

If you don’t know if something is “good” or “bad” call the people in your contacts, they’ll set you right. If they can not be reached call 9-1-1 and explain your situation.

Your parents even helped you remember the types of faces people make when scared, uncomfortable, or in pain, which helped you out a lot when it came to figuring out social cues. You weren’t up to par to most people, but you were good enough to function in most settings. And if you tripped up, that’s what your friends were for.

Devon and Ryan, your childhood friends who took it upon themselves to help you not kill yourself. They both understood that you couldn’t truly comprehend some things, no matter how hard you tried, and you were forever thankful for them. You’re certain that if they weren’t in your life to prevent you from doing something “not good,” you’d probably be dead by now.

They, and your parents, all helped you survive to your current age of twenty, almost twenty-one.

You were in college now, had been for almost four years, alongside your two friends. The three of you had decided upon the same school, one that would suite all of you, and, with some help from your and Ryan’s parents, were renting a decent sized house nearby.

That was a good thing that was dealt you, the fact the your mother was a high-profile defense attorney, and that she was more than willing to lend you three money for a house until you all could get decent jobs.

Ryan’s parents would help when they could, but they needed the money more often than not. Devon’s parents, on the other hand, refused to help their son in any way, shape, or form as long as he continued to hang out with his “hellbound” friends.

Devon’s parents were against the idea of their son living with a women he wasn’t married to, especially one with your….. abnormalities, and with a guy whose “sinned” as much as Ryan has. It was a good thing Devon was old enough to make his own decisions concerning where he lived.

The three of you found it hilarious how many people believed you were sleeping together in some kind of polyamorous relationship.

Well, you and Ryan did, Devon found it a nuisance seeing as any girl he went after either didn’t want to chance the rumors being true or hoped that they were.

You were just good friends who decided it was easier to function as adults together than alone. Nothing more, nothing less, but it seemed not many people were inclined to believe any of you.

Despite everything, your life was good. It just came with a few extra hardships, but that’s what made everything interesting.

And then Life, The Powers That Be, or whatever you want to call them decided to throw another curve ball at you in the form of a dare.

You never should of left home.

A/N: Let me know what you think, or if you have any ideas.

See a mistake? Please let me know! I'm lazy a hell and tend to miss things when I look over chapters. Plus I have moments where it seems like I don't know English.

#bendy and the ink machine #bendy x reader #x reader #bendy the dancing demon #fanfiction #reader-insert #fanfic #batim #batim bendy #bendy the demon #bendy the dancing devil #reader insert fanfiction #the ink machine #posted on ao3 #posted on wattpad #posted on fanfiction.net #posted on quotev #painless fearless reckless #painless #fearless #reckless #part one