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lynnielovestlou · 23 days

Text

abby x anxious! virgin! reader

synopsis: abby teaches her an anxiety-ridden virgin girlfriend how to have sex.

cw: NSFW , abby x reader , smut , abby talks you through it , thigh riding , sub! reader , soft dom! abby , afab! reader , dry humping , use of pet names

masterlist

abby's been your girlfriend for a few months now, but you've been putting off having sex with her. solely because of your stupid nerves.

the thought of being naked in front of someone, then hearing your noises and seeing your face and touching your most intimate spots that nobody has reached before. it made you panic just thinking about it.

but abby knew of your fears. she was patient, and she cared about you more than anything on god's green earth.

so when your twice-weekly date came around on a friday night, something felt off. you'd been horny before, and usually you knew how to take care of it, but not quite like this. your legs were tingling and there was an ache where aches shouldn't be.

of course abby, being the observant girlfriend she is, noticed your squirming halfway through the movie the two of you were watching.

"what's wrong, baby?" she asks, looking down at you with a furrowed brow.

"huh? nothing." you respond quickly, crossing your legs and leaning against her shoulder.

abby knew better than to believe you, "you okay? you seem squirmy."

"i'm okay." you respond, a little too quickly. her suspicions only rose because of your soft and nervous tone, "just feel a little weird."

"weird how? you got a stomach ache?"

"no."

"then what–" she stops what she's saying, a shit-eating grin growing on her face, "oh."

you don't respond, biting your bottom lip and unsure what to do. you could sneak away to the bathroom to try to get off on your own. but you know abby has been waiting so patiently for this moment.

"youre horny, yeah?"

your heart sinks in your chest. it took you a moment to realize how she figured it out so quickly. she saw your squirms and the way your thighs flexed every once in a while, trying to create some friction for yourself.

she spreads her thighs apart a bit, creating a perfect manspread. she taps her lap, "come sit. let me take care of it for you."

"abby, i dunno.."

"baby." she says, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, "i promise i can make you feel so much better than your pillow can. c'mon, sweet pea."

you hesitate, nibbling on your bottom lip. your heart was in your throat, and you were fidgeting with your earlobe. one of your anxious habits.

she tugs your hand away from your ear, kissing your knuckles. she gently tugs you forward into her, "i won't hurt you, sweet girl. c'mon, honey." she guides you by the hips to straddle her lap. she rubs her thumbs up and down the soft plush of your thighs, "let me show you, okay?"

you nod, swallowing the lump in your throat. she takes her shirt off first so that you don't feel embarrassed to do the same. once she's down to her black sports bra she slowly takes yours off too, giving you time to stop her if you wanted.

but you don't, so she keeps going.

once the two of you are both in your underwear, her warm and bulky hands settle on your hips, "you okay?"

you nod, unsure where to put your hands. she notices this and laughs softly, "i'll walk you through it, okay?"

"okay..."

"tell me what you do to your little pillow when you feel like this, baby."

"i.. um.." you struggle to get the words out, your cheeks red from embarrassment, "i put it between my legs."

"hmm.." she hums, "then what?"

"i like.. clamp it there."

she plays with your hair, her entire hand embracing the side of your head, "and it makes you feel good? riding your little pillow?" you nod sheepishly, resting your head on her shoulder, "show me."

"what?"

"i want you to make yourself feel good. i know you wanna." she says, kissing your hairline.

"abby, i dont know how–"

she gives your hips a little squeeze, starting to guide you to grind on her lap. the cloth of her boxers rubs against the sheer fabric of your lacy panties, the feeling alone making you gush. you whimper as you feel yourself getting wetter. you're tempted to get off her lap so she doesn't feel the dampness coming from your cunt. she notices you starting to hover, so she pulls you back down. "don't be embarrassed. i want to see you feel good." she guides your hips to move a bit faster, and you moan in response, "can i touch you?"

you look at her, confused because she's already touching you.

she glances down at your crotch rubbing against her lap, then she looks back up at you, "down there, sweet girl. please, honey. wanna feel how wet you are."

you nod, your nerves starting to dissipate.

she snakes a hand down your stomach, her fingertips sliding into your panties. when the pads of her fingers meet your folds she groans, "oh, baby... you ever been this wet before?"

you shake your head, rubbing yourself against her digits.

"there you go, grind down just like that, mhm."

her words of encouragement make you speed up a little bit. she beams at you, so proud that her girl is finally comfortable enough to let her feel you in such an intimate place.

"gonna go inside, okay?" she says before slipping two of her fingers inside your sopping cunt. you moan at the intrusion, your movements switching from back and forth to up and down.

abby chuckles, kissing your cheek. she's so happy that she can finally see her baby in this light. on her lap, a moaning mess, "you're so pretty, mama."

you smile and open your eyes to look at abby. she pecks your forehead, rubbing tight circles around your swollen bud. you clean around her and she pulls you closer so your chest is flush against hers. she knew you were close before you did, guiding your hips to bounce on her fingers faster.

when you finally come undone you mutter tens of 'thank you's' into her ear. you'd made yourself feel good many times, but you'd never felt quite like this.

"thank you, abby." you whisper to her.

she nods in response, "no need to thank me. next time you feel like that, you come to me, m'kay?"

you hum in agreement, closing your eyes and starting to drift to sleep.

#lynnielovestlou #lesbian #the last of us #queer #fanfiction #fanfic #abby anderson #lesbian smut #abby anderson smut #the last of us x you #abby x you #abby x reader #abby anderson x reader #tlou x reader #abby tlou #smut fanfiction #abby anderson x fem reader

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the-modern-typewriter · 1 year

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Hello, hope you're having a good day.

Could you write a snippet about a civilian taking in an injured stranger. The stranger is maybe a past lackey or assistant for Villan hiding from him. Villan appears at the civilians door asking kindly for them back🙂 Civilan is torn between keeping them away from villan or handing lackey over for their own saftey.

The second the door opened, it clicked exactly why the stranger had seemed so naggingly familiar. The civilian swallowed. They looked the villain up and down, slowly, like maybe that might make him disappear again.

It didn't.

The villain stayed standing on their doorstep, a perfectly pleasant smile on his face.

The civilian's fingers twitched on the door frame.

"Don't," the villain said. "Insurance won't cover me breaking your door down. May I come in?"

"I'd feel a lot better if you didn't." It came out raspy.

The villain gave an understanding nod. "Perhaps you'll send them out instead then?"

"Them?" the civilian squeaked. "I - I don't -"

The villain tilted his head, giving the civilian a gently chiding sort of look.

The civilian's mouth clicked shut. Their fingers flexed on the door again, mind racing through their options.

The villain stuck his hands in his pockets, seeming perfectly inclined to wait.

"...are you going to force your way in here if I don't?"

"Yes."

"Right."

There was a beat of silence, and the civilian shifted squirming on their feet. "They're hurt. They seem -" The civilian cleared their throat. "You're not going to hurt them, are you?"

The villain's pleasant smile broadened a fraction; an offering of white teeth. "Of course not."

He was lying. The stranger's reactions, their sweating nightmares and soft cries of restless terror made that all too clear already. It had been a stupid question to ask. Maybe they'd simply hoped the lie would be more convincing; their guilt assuaged.

"Right," the civilian said again, faintly.

They scanned the night sky for any convenient heroes. Anything, really. The evening was quiet. The sound of late night TV drifted soothingly through their neighbour's wall.

They couldn't afford to pay for a new door.

It wasn't like they could stop the villain, was it? Any defence they put up would just be bravado, idiocy. Telling the villain 'no' might feel good for all of three seconds, right before it changed absolutely nothing except how much the civilian got hurt in the process.

The civilian bit their lip, studying the villain.

"Would you prefer I bribed you?" the villain asked, kindly. They fished their wallet out. It was sleek brown leather. Fancy like. The villain extracted a few hundred in crisp notes; enough to make the civilian give a strangled little wheeze.

"No, thank you," the civilian said. They wrenched their gaze from the cash. "Um."

"I'm not interested in you," the villain said. "Beyond being grateful that you offered them assistance when they needed it. We can keep it that way."

"You're not going to kill me?"

"I considered it," the villain said, in the same kind voice. "Nothing personal for you. Just a punishment for them, you understand, for thinking that there's anywhere they can go."

The civilian flinched.

The villain gave a theatrical wince. "Too malevolent?"

"A bit."

"I'm on a time schedule," the villain said. "So if you'd just...step out of the way or go get them. I'd hate to squash you."

"I'd hate to be squashed."

"Ah, The Princess Bride." The villain swept forward, ruffling the civilian's hair. "I love that movie."

The civilian didn't mean to step in the way. It just sort of happened.

They imagined the villain's former right hand, inside, huddled looking terribly small under a fluffy blanket on the sofa.

The villain raised an eyebrow. He turned what felt like his full attention on the civilian for the first time.

The civilian nearly passed out on the spot. They squared their shoulders. "I think they know where to find you. If they, you know, want to."

"Darling."

The civilian squeezed their eyes shut for a moment. They drew a steadying breath.

"Perhaps," the villain said, "you'd like to go and ask your guest what happens to people who cross me. Perhaps you'd like a story about one of the many, many times they hurt someone like you because I asked them to. How healed are they now, do you reckon?" The villain placed two fingers beneath the civilian's chin, tipping their head up. "Enough to break every bone in your body if I ask really nicely? It might get them back in my good books."

"You said you wouldn't hurt them."

"And I won't. Do you think they'd try and protect you so sweetly, if the tables were turned? You know who they are. What they are."

The civilian opened their eyes. They looked at the villain.

The villain dropped his hand, and put his wallet back in his pocket. He did not step back.

"You have three seconds, love, or I'm coming in."

The civilian went and fetched the villain's former right hand - still feverish and halfway to broken - helping them to the door with an arm around their waist.

The former right hand didn't seem surprised to see the villain, though their grip tightened on the civilian for a heartbeat. Like the civilian, they scanned the empty, black skies for salvation.

There was only the villain, who assessed his former right hand for a moment, noting the limp.

"Tell me, if you want to live," the villain said, idly, to the civilian. "What they are."

Guilt, rancid and world-ending, rose up the civilian's throat.

"They're yours."

"Damn right they are."

The villain offered the former right-hand a steadying arm, a crutch, with that same pleasant smile on his face.

The ex right hand shot them a look, muttered a half-delirious "sorry" and "thanks" to the civilian, and painstakingly shoved past and began to walk down to the car.

The villain winked at the civilian, and followed.

The civilian never saw either of them again.

#villains #writing #short story #short fic #fic #ficlet #fiction #creative writing #villain

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fruitcoops · 6 months

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Hey! I hope all is well. I really enjoy your account and I want to thank you for all your hard work to run it, it doesn't go unnoticed.

I also had a fic rec if you wanted to think about it. I'm craving a good harvard finnlo story, where they are being very obviously in love with each other but won't admit it. I know you have something like it, but I just love every different take on this

I hope you have a wonderful week:)

Fic O'Ween Day 5: Ritual, with our favorite silly little lovebirds to put in Situations. Mega love to @noots-fic-fests for the fest and @lumosinlove for the Harvard boys :)

The impulses seemed to catch him when he least expected it. Frenetic, nearly frantic energy—pale hands flexing and teeth worrying marks into a thin lower lip. Fingers fidgeting, ripping at essay edges, tapping pens like Morse. It surged in him and filled his face with blossom-pink. Turned his ears red. It was as if the urge forced itself free and wrested control of every bit of him. That, Logan could relate to. Urges had never been gentle with him, either.

“What do you mean?”

Finn fixed him with a quizzical look. “New York? The city?”

“No, I—yes, I know.” The glorious blip of attention was gone, focused once again on a haphazard backpack. “Why?”

Paper rustled as Finn waved a vacant hand. “Just needed to.”

Logan frowned. “Is Alex okay?”

“What?” Confusion deepened the crease by his mouth; Finn didn’t bother looking up. “Far as I know.”

“So you’re going all the way to New York for a weekend, and you’re not driving—”

“Gas is expensive.”

“—and not even going to a game?” And you’re not taking me? It coated his tongue like the caramel from Finn’s Dunkin runs. He stomped the thought down before it could threaten his teeth. “Don’t you have an exam next week?”

“It’s fine.”

“Harz—”

“It’s fine, man,” Finn repeated, shooing him gently aside to dig around in the dresser for socks.

Logan pushed himself up on the edge of Finn’s desk and watched him rummage. He was tight around the shoulders and jaw; his hoodie sleeves were pulled all the way to the heels of his hands. The redness in his cheeks lingered in a soft arc. Maybe overheating, from the radiator. Maybe he was just frustrated. Knowing Finn, eight different emotions and a million thoughts were on rotisserie. Logan bit the inside of his cheek. “Is it…is it your mom, or…?”

He fell quiet when Finn straightened, socks in-hand and brows pinched in the middle. “Logan, what are you talking about?”

You’re leaving on one of our only free weekends and being cryptic about it. Also, I can’t come, and I’m going to think about that for the next several days whenever I wake up and your bed is still made. “You’re being weird. Stop it.”

“Why am I being weird?” Finn half-laughed, resting his hip against the dresser.

“You’re spending eight hours on a train to visit home when you have a car, an exam, and a free weekend to just hang out.” Logan shrugged. “It’s weird. There’s a party tonight. Don’t you have a fanclub to look after?”

Finn’s brow arched with amusement. “Who, you?”

“Non—fuck off, god,” Logan grumbled, kicking at him when he passed. Finn’s laughter lit up the sunset shadows in the corners of their room.

“I’m literally fine, just missing home.” Finn tossed the socks into his bag blindly, already reaching for something else. “I guess Alex just had a buddy get traded and he’s kinda down, so we’ll probably just hang out. Video games, movies. The usual. It’ll only be an hour or so to the station if I take the subway. And I’m not worried about my exam, anyway.”

The tension in his neck told a different story, but Logan wouldn’t press. A stressed Finn was a distracted Finn, and he was allowed to be selfish for every bit of focus when he was about to leave. “Do you need a ride?”

Deodorant, toothpaste, and a third paperback made their way into the duffel. “I’m taking the train.”

“A ride to the train station, dumbass.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that.”

Logan tossed a wool cap at him. “That’s why I offered.”

Finn finally paused for more than a breath; his forehead pinched, and Logan watched him draw his lip back between his front teeth. “Isn’t there a party tonight?”

“Ouais.” Finn was looking at him like that meant something. “Quoi?”

“Don’t you want to go?”

“Do you need a ride?” Logan countered.

“No.”

“Do you want a ride?”

Finn glanced out the window. His nose scrunched on one side. “Kinda.”

Logan spread his hands. “Then I’ll take you. Easy.”

“But—”

“Non.”

“Okay.” Finn looked at him for a long moment, then smiled, almost to himself. “Cool. Thanks.”

“This is why you have a roommate.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” He still seemed pleased, despite his huff. Logan would never understand. It was delightfully entertaining all the same. He swung his feet while Finn finished up—like this, he could practically follow the path of Finn’s disorganized mental checklist.

“I don’t suppose I’ll be allowed to actually drive you there,” he joked when Finn slung his (full to bursting) duffel over his arm.

That got him a snort of laughter. “There will never be a day you’re allowed to drive my car while I’m in it, Tremblamalay, unless it’s a fucking hearse.”

“I’m a good driver!”

“I didn’t say you weren’t!” Finn propped their door open with a foot and snagged his keys off the hook. “Don’t yell at me.”

“I’m not yelling.”

“You basically are.”

“You want me to yell? Because I can yell at you. Ah—”

Logan broke off with a curse as a pool noodle swung from the open door to their left. “Oh, hey,” Percy said, shock falling to a smile in an instant. “Where are you two off to?”

“Train station,” Finn answered. He cocked his head. “What’s with the shit?”

“Party, duh. Heading home?”

“Just for the weekend. Lo’s driving me.” Something in Logan’s stomach gave a giddy whirl at the jerk of Finn’s chin. It fizzled into a puddle of goo when he cracked a half-smile. “Well, he’s driving back.”

“Oh.” Percy nodded. “Damn, we’ll miss you guys tonight.”

Logan frowned. “I’ll be here.”

“I thought…”

“I’m driving back,” he repeated. “Back from the train station.”

Understanding dawned on Percy’s face, then bemused surprise. “You finally did that separation ritual, huh? Something slashed the sutures sticking you two together? You might keel over the second you cross the state line, you know.”

“Wow, Marsh, you’re so funny,” Finn parroted with a loud and brash HA HA that made Logan grin, but Percy just snickered to himself and let them through with gentle smacks to the backs of their heads.

“Go forth, young men!”

“It’s West!” Finn corrected.

“Go West, then! Or—northeast, I guess.”

Finn let Logan through the front door first (what a fucking gentleman, god, Logan was not going to survive him) before closing it with a pointed slam. “I’ll get the—”

“Passenger seat,” Finn interrupted. He swooped his bag out of reach when Logan went to take it from him. “Nuh-uh. Go sit.”

“I’m being helpful.”

“You’re going to break my trunk.” Finn shook his head. “She doesn’t need to be closed that hard, Tremz. She’s a lady.”

Logan wrinkled his nose. “Please never refer to your car as a lady ever again.”

A theatrical demonstration of proper trunk-handling was the only response Finn gave. Logan watched him come around the side of the car while he buckled in, running a hand through his hair and twirling his keyring around one finger. Logan knew what that hair felt like. Mink-soft and thick. A little wavy, when he let it grow out. It had pressed against his cheek on the bus oh-so-many times, when Finn nodded off ten miles from the nearest gas station and the roads were too bumpy for Logan to sleep.

He wondered what Finn would do if he reached out and touched it now, while he adjusted the radio and hummed to himself. The energy vibrating under his skin had calmed to a low current. If Logan could tap into it, maybe he could be brave enough to find out.

“Speak!”

Logan jumped. “Quoi?”

“Oh, it does work,” Finn said, seemingly pleased. “Logan, sit!”

“Get fucked.”

#logan tremblay #finn ohara #finnlo #harvard finnlo #coast to coast #lumosinlove #sweater weather #my fic #fanfic #fluff #weekend trip #fic o’ween 2023 #percy marshall

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frecklystars · 8 months

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hi!! idk who else to ramble my thoughts to but the ken brainrot is in full force. i hope this is ok 😭😭 but i cannot stop thinking about ken's expression right after the 'SUBLIME!!' scene when barbie goes 'yay! :))' and walks in the mojo dojo casa house. and this man. just puts his hand on his chest, sighs in relief and just fuckin has the most obvious heart eyes face i've ever seen. this boy is WHIPPED I'M😭😭

tbf i'd be like that too if barbie said 'please' in that voice. she is so 🥺

HI IT'S ALWAYS OKAY TO TALK ABOUT THE BARBIE MOVIE IN MY INBOX IT'S ALWAYS WELCOME!!!!!!! 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

BARBIE'S LITTLE "PLEASE" AND HER STEPPING CLOSER TO HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT HER BC SHE'S BARBIE AND SHE'S SO PRETTY AND SHE SMELLS SO GOOD AND SHE'S LOOKING RIGHT AT HIM 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 you're right man I'd honestly pass out if she looked at me like that SDLFJKSLFSDF

AND him sighing in relief is so telling about how. like. he doesn't even want any of this patriarchy shit, you can tell how everything he does is really truly sincerely for Barbie and how much he's lost himself over trying to be with her. he wants the Kens to be recognized and respected, yes, but most of what he's doing is all for Barbie's respect specifically. he's relieved that she's finally under the "spell", relieved that the things in the Real World that are forcing (in his POV) women to cater to men, is finally working in BarbieLand ...Kendom... KendomLand? and you spend so much time seeing him be such a jackass in this later half of the movie, and it's that sigh that tells you it's not his true personality. he's just some stupid hot dude with an obsession for his girlfriend he was literally molded for. and horses. and he's never run anything before and he doesn't love doing it but he's doing it because what else is he rly supposed to do... he's already made this tremendous screwup and he just keeps rolling with it because WHAT ELSE can he do if he's SO FAR GONE NOW he can't just say "oh nevermind guys I change my mind" so he keeps going and isn't this supposed to be great? isn't this supposed to make him feel so good? but he doesn't feel good. it doesn't feel great. how empty has he felt up to this point? when Gloria and Barbie and Sasha are all talking while Barbie is kicking off her pastel blue clothes, having her existential crisis while Gloria is trying to explain "that's life", you can see Ken in the background dropping to his knees and curling over himself, hugging himself, looking at the floor. and Tall Ken is trying to get him to stand up but Ken won't budge. how long was he hurting over it? kicking Barbie out of her house, throwing out her clothes, brainwashing her friends, he's convinced himself surely she won't come back after he did all of that. they can't even be friends after this. like that other Ken who said "I don't even care about being Ken anymore, I just miss my friend Barbie," our Beach Ken was probably having similar thoughts. he just misses his friend Barbie. he's fucked everything up so monumentally and it's hitting him so hard in that moment.

and then. and then. Barbie shows up. she's at his door to his dreamhouse mojo dojo casa house. batting her lashes. smelling like cupcakes, probably. pleading to be his long term long distance low commitment casual girlfriend. he's beyond relieved. he thinks all of this isn't for nothing if Barbie can just finally look at him. not even with love in her eyes, but to just look at him and simply want to be in his life. finally it's her holding onto every word he says, finally it's her looking at him the way he used to look at her. AND IT'S ALL!! PACKED!!! INTO THAT SIGH, THAT LITTLE SMILE, THE HAND PRESSED TO HIS CHEST AUGH

all of that aside ---- he looks like such a snack in his denim ripped sleeve outfit, I'm sorry. I'm absolutely weak for Ryan Gosling's smolder and Ken flexing his muscles while brooding and spewing the most bullshit nonsense about "kendom. land. kendomland. land of the free of the men... kendomland" is the hottest thing in the world. NOTHING going on upstairs ❤

#barbie movie spoilers #and i swear to god me obsessing over ken isnt me missing the point of the movie #I JUST REALLY LOVE A HOT MAN WHO CRIES. OKAY #anonymous #asks #💕 I'll fight for you!! - ̗̀🐎🏖️✨ ̖́-

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bas-writes · 1 year

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So, I watched the RED Movie yesterday. I have very mixed feelings. I'll explain everything under cut since I want to talk about scenes & plot & involved characters.

So far, a short non-spoiler review:

-> if you're not 100% sure you DON'T want to see the movie, don't hesitate and get yourself a ticket, this is one of those made to be enjoyed in cinema, the experience won't be the same at home

-> if you want to see this only to see your blorbo in action...you most likely will be disappointed, unless your blorbo is Koby, Barto or Usopp

-> if Uta's design & everything told about her in promo materials didn't convince you to like her...you most likely will be disappointed too

-> ...actually, you will have much more fun, if you stop treating it as a movie and start to think about it as high budget music video with Ado's pirate-sona. a big animated fanfic with a quirky OC

-> if you can wait, do yourself a favor and watch it AFTER you read this week's chapter, you will thank me 🤭

And now to the juicy meat.

I went to cinema knowing well this is NOT a movie for me. I'm a manga-only fan, I know anime only in bits and RED is my first OP movie ever. The info revealed in campaign didn't make me enthusiastic, especially given how much they push Uta on the pedestal. Frankly, if not for sis who really wanted to see it, I'd not move my ass to cinema.

But I did. And much to my surprise, I did enjoy it lol Wouldn't call it a good movie (maybe it is for OP standards, no idea), but wouldn't call it a waste of time either. Just a fun thing to watch together with a bunch of nerds, so you can make weird noises when your faves show up.

Uta for me was the weakest point of the movie. Not because I find her a bad-written character (I actually like what they made with her but that's later), but because she has like, 0 chemistry with characters on screen. Her relationship with Shanks and Luffy are limited to very short flashbacks and a few scenes with Shanks at the very end. Luffy and Uta interact with each other but I just...didn't get a feeling they're old friends reuniting after years. I mean, compare it to how Luffy reacted to Ace in Alabasta. Everytime Luffy and Uta met, it felt like a staged scene, and given that a majority of movie is played in alter-reality, controlled by Uta's mind, it gives one whole additional layer of that weird, fake feeling.

Following with the weak points: there's a whole lot of characters who do NOTHING. If we cut all the fight scenes but the finale, a good part of the cast has nothing to do. They just...are. Because they're Strawhats/popular characters. But even with those fight scenes... Zoro, one of the most important characters in the serie, got more or less the same screen time as a fucking chibified fursona of a ship. Even Shanks and Luffy, 2 of 3 main pillars of the movie, don't do that much. Really.

Honestly, fight scenes but the last one disappointed me. I'm a simple One Piece simp: I want to see my blorbos flexing muscles in crazy fights. I know this is not the essence of plot, but it's the flavor. One Piece wouldn't be One Piece if it wasn't boiled in broth made of bloody, sweaty tits, goddammit. In RED majority of fight scenes are edited like AMVs. With insane graphic quality, but with the same chaos and level of cuts and edits. Plus Uta being Uta through majority of screen time. Which is...UGH. The way she fights is really interesting! Whenever she does it, the jaw just drops! I wanna see her fighting with that power! Not look at heavily edited idol performance!

Luckily, at some point movie finally chills down and lets the plot breathe. And once it stops being an AMV on speed, it becomes quite interesting. Especially with the way it flashes out those few characters who got something to do. BIG kudos for choosing less obvious ones for pushing the plot motor: Bartolomeo, Koby, Blueno, Usopp (feat. his daddy issues). Koby was the absolute MVP. Holy fuck. I hope this is just a foretaste of what we're going to see in manga.

Fan theories connoisseurs will be over the moon with the number of symbols and wink winks. Not gonna lie, I focused on lyrics on purpose, to avoid sensory overload from those shaking AMVs and was surpirsed how much info is hidden in them. Like one, big teaser for the upcoming events.

I wonder how many connections will be revealed later. The robots from library? Hell, guess what just happened in chapter 1065 👀 They weren't lying that events aren't canon - but lore definitely is.

The animation & music combo is INSANE. Especially when they let Ado sing instead of pushing her to perform as a candy idol girl (the opening song made my skin crawl jesus christ that was horrible). Gods, the more crazy Uta gets, the better songs get and when the music goes low ohhhhh yes, that's the good shit.

NO FANSERVICE. IN ONE PIECE MOVIE? MORE LIKELY THAN YOU THOUGHT! Except for one very toned panties joke and one not-moving panel from the credits there's literally no fanservice. Null. Zero. Nada. And they let female characters fight to their fullest! Nami, Robin and Brulee do in comparison as much as other background characters.

The final is. IS. I swear, it's one of the best directed fights I've seen in One Piece EVER and hello, forget about the non-anime thig, I watched the famous Katakuri vs Snakeman and the Rooftop. The combo of powerful music, smooth animation, characters cooperating in perfectly-balanced yet unexpected teams, the multi layered attack lead by Usopp and Yasopp, Snakeman-Nika fusion & Shanks finish, fuck, I swear, I was shaking.

I hope this is how final fight in OP will look like. A whole team of our faves from various fractions against Im maybe? 👀

Loved how balanced the humor was. Characteristic for One Piece yet, tamed. Nothing too perverted, nothing too gross, everything chaotic as fuck. Love you, Bepo.

But my favorite part is probably the way they handled the conflict and the case of who's a villain. Don't wanna say too much cause imho this is something everyone should interpret according to their own judgement, but liked how they placed the core in the moral dilemma between bringing relief and utopia for the cost of freedom and remaining free but having to face the reality (oh, someone was inspired by The Matrix). Should I run into lie to comfort myself? Is it a wise idea to try and shield someone from consequences of their actions, even if they were not fully conscious? Does one have a right to decide what's good for others?

If not for the BULLSHIT finish, I'd say the second part saved the movie in my eyes. Sadly, it added to a bad aftertaste. Well, at least I have the OST. And soon-to-come shirtless snake gifs.

Overall, not a tragedy, thing more enjoyable than irritating even if you are easily distracted by things you don't like (like me lol), worth spending money and time even if for just watching an AMV on big screen.

And the obligatory traditional number scale: 4/10 as a stand alone movie, 6/10 as a meat for OP fan, 10/10 of Law's hairy leggies my beloved.

#bas mumbles #bas watches one piece

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shera-dnd · 2 years

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Y'ALL! YALL!

I watched the new Matrix with my girlfriend last night AND OH MY GOD

That movie is Lana Wachowski forgetting how to give a fuck

It's nearly 3 hours of her flexing and flipping people off

She basically tells Warner Brothers to go suck her dick in the first hour of screen time

This bitch was so tired of people using "redpilled" to mean the dumbest most bigoted shit, that she decided that subtlety is for cowards and weaklings

Lana Wachowski is the most powerful bitch in Hollywood and she should be feared!

also if this isn't enough of a ringing endorsement there are like an ungodly amount of spoilers under the cut

The idea of making the Matrix a video game inside the new matrix (both the movie and the simulation I guess) was kinda fucking wild

We legit have characters going "the Matrix is a trans allegory", "no it's about crypto fascism", "no it's obviously about anti capitalism", within the first half hour of the movie

Note that this is followed by an actual agent of the matrix shutting down this conversation by saying that the games are about guns, explosions, and bullet time, and that no one cares about anything else

The fact that they fucking name drop Warner Brothers in a scene just to then frame them as a bunch of assholes dragging Neo back into a franchise he can't deal with anymore

And the queer allegories just won't fucking stop!

Neo and Trinity seeing themselves differently from how the world sees them

The constant mention of binaries just for them to be discarded entirely

Trinity having a completely normal heterosexual life with her husband Chad (FUCKING CHAD) but only finding true happiness in riding her bike, which is one of the few moments when you can "catch glimpses of her true self"

THE FUCKING MATRIX PUTTING THEM INTO COMPHET BULLSHIT

The main fucking bad guy being basically a fucking conversion therapist

The entire new crew for the new ship being like queer as all fuck. Like my girlfriend was making a joke about like "wow you know they're all queer because their idealized selves look like THAT" and not 3 seconds afterwards a dude says that he'd absolutely tap Neo's ass

Neo and Trinity actually saying they're gonna abandon subtlety and pain rainbows in the sky

Also Niobe has a wife in this. Good for her.

Speaking of the fucking real people outside the Matrix

We have good machines now!

Congratulations on making it very clear to those weirdos that, no the problem isn't outsiders and people different than you, the problem are those who choose to uphold an unjust system. Maybe people will actually learn that this time

Also I find it fucking hilarious how much older existential threats kinda get made fun off

Agent Smith? Keep going on and on about how he and Neo are so alike and how they're destined to meet again and again and- oops looks like someone forgot they're still just a toy in someone else's play house

The Merovingian (or Merv how he gets called in this) is just an angry french boomer who can't shut up about things he doesn't like and that no one takes seriously AT ALL!

Anyways I could keep talking about this movie for another like hour, but at that point i'd just be retelling the whole story

Just watch the new fucking Matrix, it's so good and so stupid in all the best and gayest ways

#the matrix #matrix resurrections #self indulgence

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imerdwarf · 3 years

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Love At First Crash

Summary: your car gets taken to the repair shop where you meet the man who will repair it for you.

Prompt:

Pairing: Mechanic!Bucky x Reader

Warnings: flirting, mild angst, idiots in love, happy ending 🥰

Word Count: 2,128 (I AM SO SORRY)

Author's Notes: This is for @the-ss-horniest-book-club's Drunk Drabbles 💜 my first time writing for mechanic!Bucky, thank you so much @jobean12-blog for checking it and giving me your thoughts 💜

It's been just a few days since you've visited the repair shop and met the owner Bucky Barnes. His charming smile made your tummy feel like you had a swarm of butterflies fluttering around inside.

His tight white tank top was pulled so tightly across his chest that his pecs could be seen. His black jeans that sculptured around his thick thighs to show off those thigh muscles, his mechanical outfit was matched perfectly with his black boots.

Your footsteps echoed off the bare concrete walls and floors as you entered the repair shop back from the back entrance. The metal shutters with a dangling chain link was rolled halfway up and a dozen of motorcycles parked next to the doors.

The distant quiet music from the digital radio did very little to quieten your footsteps. Bucky had heard you and rolled himself out from underneath your car. He smirked up when he saw you approach him.

"Hey there doll." Bucky showed off his perfect pearly whites and that was the same smile that gave you the butterfly feeling.

"Hey Bucky," you smiled back and sheepishly shoved your hands in the front of your pockets. You had originally opted to call him James, but he beefy man insisted on Bucky since his close friends and family called him by that name and James had sounded so foreign to his ears.

Bucky stood up, his biceps flexing under his movements and you couldn't stop the creeping flush. You cleared your throat and looked at your car.

"She's looking good!" Bucky's smile grew wider by how excited and happy you were.

"Yes you are," he muttered under his breath but you heard him say something. Your head snaps towards him and grin.

"What did you just say?" Bucky blushed and now it was his turn to clear his throat and rub the back of his neck, unknowingly with his greasy padded fingertips which left a black streak.

"I said she is, she won't be too long in here actually, a few more days." He wanted to exhale his sigh of relief when you nodded your head and looked back at your car.

"Great, you're the best Bucky!"

Bucky was absolutely beaming from the praise but it wasn't a lie, Bucky really was the best. He was so the best in fact that you found yourself daydreaming about the beefy mechanic days after you visited him at the shop.

You were laying on your couch listening to the birds singing outside and staring up at the white ceiling with your hands resting on your stomach thinking about that gorgeous smile of his. You loved the way his hair was always slicked back into a bun and how his shirt was always grease stained, a sign of a hard working man. You knew he was working hard to get your car back on the road as soon as possible, he kept in touch to let you know how everything was going.

You were falling for him, fast and hard. He was all you could ever think about, he was all you dreamed about and he lived rent free in your head.

Your gut clenches from the thought that realistically, he is probably in a serious long-term relationship with a much more beautiful woman, one that must make him happy because he was always in a good mood and always smiling.

Your chances of ever being with him were really slim, and it was such a bitter pill to swallow. He was just a crush and that is all he would ever be. But it didn't stop you from creating scenarios in your head with him. What your evenings would look like cuddled on the couch watching movies, listening to music or just talking to each other. What kind of food you'd cook him, would he kiss you as a compliment? In your head he does.

You wonder what it would be like to have him underne—

"Y/N!" Wanda's voice suddenly breaks through your thoughts and you blink back to reality. You mumble a response and Wanda finds you laying on the couch staring up to nothing, again, "still daydreaming about your hot boyfriend?" She teases and you scoff, sitting up to glare at her.

"He is not my boyfriend. Never was, never will be." Your face drops when you said it out loud, as though it suddenly dawned on you.

"But you have a crush on him right?" Wanda pushes and you regret ever spilling the beans to her in the first place, of course she is never going to let this go.

"No." You lied.

"Then why does he make you look so sad?" Damn it Wanda, "look, I'm not here to pressure you but my brother is back in town and we are meeting at the bar tonight! He misses you and wants to see you!"

"Bucky misses me?!" You may have zoned out again thinking about Bucky. Wanda rolls her eyes and laughs lightly.

"No! Pietro! But I'm sure Bucky does kiss you... I mean miss you!"

You smiled, great now another thing to add to your scenarios.

"What time?"

"8pm sharp! Don't be late!" She kisses your cheek in a friendly manner before skipping out of your door and leaving you alone with your thoughts. You had a few more hours to lay here and do nothing but think about him.

***

The bar was crowded when you arrived and you headed towards the bar to order a drink when Pietro came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist. You screeched out when you turned around and saw it was him, pulling him into a tight hug and keeping your hands on his forearms as he kissed your cheeks.

It might have been innocent, but from where Bucky was stood, it seemed like the two of you were an item and his heart dropped into his stomach and his mood turned sour.

He had no idea you were with Pietro, he knew him because he's a well known lawyer with a lot of successful cases under his belt so he couldn't blame you for being with someone with a clean job while he went to work everyday in a greasy repair shop.

He's only met you a dozen times but he doesn't remember you ever smiling that brightly at him when you were in his repair shop.

"You're brooding." Natasha, one of Bucky's oldest friends told him as she sipped her dry red wine. Bucky rolled his eyes and swished his beer around in his hand.

"I'm fine." Bucky scoffed and turned his angle away from Natasha.

"You're in love." Bucky again rolls his eyes and tries to ignore her. He tries to ignore you both, he tries to contain the jealousy that desperately wants to come out and say something about the way you're not even pulling away from Pietro.

"I'm leaving," Bucky tells Natasha, chugging the rest of his beer before slamming the bottle down on a nearby table, he turns to Nat and points a finger in her face, "and don't follow me."

The catch-up with Pietro was nice, it's been a few years since you've seen each other and he was telling you about his new wife when you saw Bucky storm out of the bar over his shoulder. Your eyes widened, never even noticing he was here and oh god, how this must have looked. Your heart sunk when you saw a redhead follow in his direction, that must have been his girlfriend.

Your mood to stay in the bar any longer was diminished and now all you wanted to do was go home and be by yourself.

You excused yourself from Pietro's grip and bid Wanda a quick goodnight before making a quick exit out of the bar and heading straight home.

Your thoughts kept you up the whole night. You couldn't sleep and tossed and turned throughout the cold night. You kept thinking back to the way he stormed out of the bar, if only you had seen him sooner.

Wanda entered your home early the next morning to find you already sitting up at the kitchen table nursing a hot cup of coffee. You looked exhausted and she could tell you haven't slept.

"Hey." She whispers, putting her hand on your shoulder, "are you okay?" You nod your head and sigh, not being in the mood to talk about things right now.

"I'm fine, just tired from last night." It's a lie that Wanda seems to accept for now.

"Barnes called." Wanda sighs and your head snaps up, "your car is ready to be picked up. I'll go and get it for you so you can rest." You feel upset that he couldn't or didn't want to call you but called your emergency contact instead.

"O-kay."

"I'll be back in a bit!" Wanda leaves quickly, jumping into Pietro's car and rehearsing the conversation in her head before she confronted Bucky.

Bucky was wiping his dirty greased up fingertips on the rag he had stuffed in his back pocket when Wanda arrived with Pietro. He saw him drive off shortly after she got out and Bucky refrained from rolling his eyes.

He was probably going home to you. He thought selfishly to himself. He mustered the biggest smile he could but it didn't fool Wanda.

"Wanda."

"Barnes, you called?"

"Yeah, Y/N's car is ready."

"And you couldn't inform her why?" Wanda queried, noting the disappointing look that swam in his eyes.

"I didn't think Pietro would like that."

Wanda bent over and held her stomach as she laughed. Bucky's eyebrows pinched together in confusion, "What's so funny?" He snapped, angry at how this whole thing was completely unfair.

"I'm sorry- it's just- it's just- oh god- Pietro is my brother and he's married." Wanda said between breaths.

This only infuriated Bucky even further, "good for him but I don't need to know how happy they are together!" He needed to chill and calm down. Jealousy was not a good look.

"He isn't married to Y/N. She's single, has a crush on you, maybe even hopelessly in love with you but that's fine if you want to-"

"She's what?" Bucky asks shocked, there's no way a pretty dame like yourself could love him. He's too basic, too plain.

"Why don't you drop me home in Y/N's car and take her car back to her yourself and you'll see what I mean." It was an offer he couldn't refuse. If Wanda wasn't pulling his leg, and you really were single, he needed to get to you before someone else did.

***

It's been well over an hour since Wanda left to pick up your car. In that time, you managed to take a shower to release your tense muscles, take something for the pounding headache and change into an outfit.

You were really excited to get your car back, making a promise with yourself that you'll be a lot more careful this time and try not to get into more car crashes.

You heard the engine in your driveway and you leapt towards the front door with a smile on your face, your smile growing even wider when you saw it wasn't Wanda behind the wheel, but Bucky. You couldn't put your finger on why you were so happy to see him, maybe it was a little hope he didn't hate you after all.

He got out of the car and strolled up towards you with a matching smile on his own face. His hands were in his front pockets and he looked amazing dressed in all black with a black leather jacket.

"Hi!" Your dam almost breaks, you were awake the whole night worrying about what would happen and then he didn't call you himself this morning about your car, it was easy to jump to conclusions, "I'm so happy to see you."

"Doll, I'm sorry I didn't call- my thoughts- well, I mean my feelings got in the way and I let my jealousy shine brighter than the sun." He chuckled shyly.

"Please you don't need to explain, it's me who owes you an explanation. You see, Pietro and I are—"

"No need doll. Wanda told me everything. It's a pretty warm day, Steve is covering for me back at the shop and I wondered if you'd like to head down to the beach with me?"

You grinned and looked down to your feet before looking into his eyes again, "I can make a picnic?"

"Sounds like a date!"

"A date it is."

Taglist: @smokeybluebrooke-lyn @pinkdiamond1016 @whatrambles @bestofbucky

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getitinbusan · 3 years

Text

I've Got A Coupon (18+)

Part 2

Namjoon: A Massage with a Happy Ending

Warnings: 18+ consensual sexual poly relationships. Always swearing, Safe sex is implied. Don't read smut if you can't handle the 🍆💦

Words: 1650

Valentine’s Day, what do you give 7 men who already have everything?

Sitting down, you create a series of Love Coupons and place them in a bowl…

Erotic movie night

Massage with a happy ending

lap dance

Voyeur, look but don’t touch!

Naked Chef, dining al fresco

Trip to the sex shop

Location of your choice!

Calling them to the kitchen they each take a turn picking their present.

Series Masterlist

6:30 am.

Joon was an early riser. Knocking lightly you were hoping he was still asleep.

No answer. Trying to silently open the door you slipped inside holding the handle so it wouldn't tip him off with the click. Loud snoring came from across the room and you could just make out his outline from the rising sun filtering through his curtains.

Tiptoeing closer you dropped your robe. Picking up the fluffy white duvet you slid underneath. God he was warm. He stirred with a sigh and moved closer, his arms wrapping around you instinctively. Namjoon was comfort. His peaceful presence could have easily lulled you into slumber if it weren't for your mission.

"Joonie," you whispered. "Hey, wake up."

His dimples popped as he groggily smiled. "Good morning. It's so early."

"I wanted to make sure you started the day off right."

Pulling the last envelope from the pocket of your robe you laid it on his chest.

"Massage with a happy ending." His cheeks turned red.

"I think you deserve to be taken care of Joon, will you let me do that for you?"

"I'm a little afraid I'm going to get too used to this…" He moved his body closer, hands hovering over your stomach. His fingertips, not sure of which way to travel, skimmed over your skin giving you goosebumps from the delicate touch.

"What would be so wrong with that?" Your lips lingered on his.

"I want you too badly to think of any excuses right now."

"Good, lets start."

Jumping out of the bed you threw your robe back on and retrieved your pile of equipment waiting in the hallway.

"You really went all out."

He seemed surprised as you set up the table.

"No half measures Namjoon. Now get that gorgeous ass over here."

Pulling the sheet off the bed he wrapped himself up.

"You know what a happy ending is right? You're just going to have to take that off in 4 feet."

He was flustered, always so shy in his gentlemanly way. Closing the gap he abandoned his modesty beside the table. He was hard as a rock already standing straight out red and excited.

"Should I lay on my back?"

Pulling the cover from the table you raised your eyebrows at him suggestively. "That's totally up to you, this is a milking table."

Never had a jaw dropped further and more dramatically than his.

He needed encouragement. Walking over to him you let your fingers slide down his chest, "Why don't you lay down on your front and I'll just give you a massage for a bit. You won't even see me until you're ready, okay?"

His large hands reached out and cradled your face. "It's not that I don't want to look at you. You're so fucking beautiful, I'm just a shy idiot."

"We can work on that." You couldn't help but smile at him, "now hop on up here."

He got on the table and lay face down.

"We're gonna ease into this okay?"

He nodded.

Digging through your bag you brought out the bottle of massage oil. "This may be a little cold, are you ready?"

Squeezing the oil in a stream down his back he squirmed at the sensation. You could have been nice and warmed it, but you liked the idea of the cold liquid making his nipples hard.

"You've been working out huh?" You began sliding your hands over his skin. "You're a lot bigger than when we last hooked up."

You could feel him flexing his triceps under your fingers. “It suits you.”

Working the oil over his entire backside you wanted to up the stakes. "Is it okay if I get on top of you? It's better leverage to work out those knots."

"umhum," he mumbled face down into the pillow.

Grabbing the oil you quickly drizzled it down your front before climbing on. Straddling his back you rubbed yourself just above the swell of his ass. He moaned at the feeling of your pussy sliding down his skin.

"How's that feel?"

"So, so good Y/N."

Laying flat against him you placed a kiss between his shoulder blades and pressed your breasts into his back. Your arms smoothed down over his as you rocked yourself against his muscle.

"Joon, I know this is for you but I'm so horny." You kissed the back of his neck, "Do you mind if I get myself off on you?"

"Fuck baby girl, rub your pussy wherever you need it."

Raising yourself, the mirror was in front of you. You could see the reflection of his cock hanging through the milking hole, a small slow dripping string of precum dangling from the tip.

"If you're comfortable you should lift your head up and watch, there's a great view."

As you rubbed yourself over his swell your hands kneaded his back muscles. He stared at you, watching you get off on him. "Fuck you've got pretty tits. I wanna feel them on my back."

Letting your breasts hang your nipples dragged over his lubed skin. The sensation of the oil and the rubbing was too much, you couldn't help but moan the closer you got to your high.

"That's it baby, cum all over me, make me all sticky."

The table was rocking precariously under your enthusiasm and his cock was swinging back and forth through the glory hole.

"Joonie I'm so close."

He flexed his glutes and with a few more passes your clit was satisfied.

Collapsing for a second you lay heavy on top of him trying to catch your breath. "Thank you," you mustered.

"Don't thank me, you did all the work."

Lifting yourself to get off of him, sticky cum threads pulled between you. "That's so hot." He sat to turn himself and couldn't resist running his finger through it and sticking it in his mouth.

"Let's do you now, are you ready for your turn?"

He was in a daze, with a half smile and popped dimple, he could only nod.

Grabbing some pillows off the bed you made your way under the table. Something about his penis just hanging there waiting, made it seem so much more suckable.

"So gorgeous Joon." You licked his tip, teasing it as another ooze of precum dripped in anticipation. "I'm going to milk every drop out of you Daddy."

His moan of approval was loud.

"Do you like that? Do you want more?"

"Suck me please I want it so bad." He begged as you continued to play with the the tip, squirming under the torturous build up. "Take it all like you did last time.”

"Do you think about that? Think about me sucking and fucking you in the practice room?"

"Every day since." His breathing was heavy.

"Do you get off thinking about my cunt wrapped around your cock?"

You gave him a big deep suck, you could picture his face scrunched up in pleasure and it made you want to cum again.

"I can't stop. Whenever you bend down I can see your pretty tits in your low cut shirt. Such a bad girl never wearing a bra. I've rubbed myself raw just thinking about you."

"I put on that show just for you. When I catch you looking, I always think about your mouth on me."

You rewarded his new inhibition with positive reinforcement. Ringing your hand around his base tightly you took him into your throat.

"Next time you need to get off I want you to tell me. Promise you’ll use me instead of your hand, that you'll fuck my cunt open and fill me with your cum."

He was making so much noise if anyone was walking buy they'd probably think he was recording.

"Tell me, tell me you promise."

You were whiny, feeling the need to cum again your pussy was pulsing. Something about bringing Joon, who was so reluctant, to the point of surrender was the ultimate turn on.

"Yeah, I promise...I promise...Fuck I'm close."

Removing your mouth you slid your hand up and down his shaft pumping a few times before letting go. Sitting for a minute, not touching him, He was distanced from his impending orgasm.

Legs swung over the table, he reached for your hand pulling you up and onto your feet. “You should be careful what you beg for, it might be more than you can handle.”

He walked you backwards until your legs hit the bed. "No more fucking around."

You grinned, achievement unlocked.

Kneeling in front of you he picked up your knees until they were bent and pushed them wide open. Staring down at your pink heat he slid two fingers inside of you. Moaning as he curled them you were left disappointed when he pulled them back out.

"Look how excited you are."

He held them up and showed you the sticky display before rubbing the wetness all over this cock. Pumping twice to make sure he was coated his dick hung waiting in limbo until he plunged himself inside you. The loud moan that followed was from the pure satisfaction of being stretched so completely by his girth.

His thrusts were slow and deep, bottoming out, holding and then dragging back out against your clenching walls. "Your little pussy likes that huh?" He rammed back in. "Next time you pass me in the hallway this is what I want you to think about."

"Fuck, Namjoon you're so fucking good. Why are you so god damn reserved? We could have been doing this for months."

He lowered himself, his body heavy on yours, his fingers gripping your hair. The slight pain with the immense pleasure shot white lightning through you. He pumped harder as you clenched and came all over his cock until he too found his release shooting his hot cum deep inside you.

Forehead to forehead he kissed your lips.

"Happy ending indeed."

Part 3: Hobi - Lap dance

#BTS smut #namjoon smut #bts #namjoon #bts poly #studio sessions #noonasinnetwork

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all-about-seggs · 3 years

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Gojo Satoru Relationship headcanons -

Satoru is a guy who have many different sides to him so he's definitely a catch.

(P.s LOOk at his Lips)

His type of s!o :

💜 Many people consider him attractive and he knows it but that's not a criteria he considers when it comes to love.

💜I can see him being attracted to someone who can stand up for themselves or atleast be independent. He's not someone wholl be able to entertain a clingy s!o for a long time because of his work and the goals he has set for himself, so relationships are already in the backburner for him.

💜Would be a plus is you have a sassy/ sarcastic side. He LOVES friendly banters and back and forths, Satoru's a tease and he'll let you know that form the start.

💜Someone who tries to pry or force him to tell something that he doesn't want to is gonna be a difficult match for him. He may love you but he wants his space as well.

Catching feelings :

💜He has to be really in love to pursue a relationship with you because of all the danger that comes form him job he'll try not to get too involved with you if his feelings are not that strong or if there is no initiative from your side.

💜Years of training has made him become the master of his own emotions so if you don't want to let him slip through your hands you better act first. He'll probably tell himself to forget about his growing Love for you and might try nonchalantly refusing to meet you by making work an excuse.

💜If you decide to work for it and the time is right, he'll tell you in the most casual tone that he is in love with you. Tbh I think he'll definetly refrain from using the word love( even tho he feels it) since it's a very heavy term for him.

💜It's not because he has commitment issues, it's just that he finds it better to keep it solo. It's easier to overthrow the sorcerer's higher ups committee when he doesn't have anything to lose even if things go downhill.

💜In the end, it'll be your persistence that makes the relationship happen. And he'll secretly thank you everyday for sticking with him:).

The start :

💜 The type of boyfriend who shows his affection by teasing you. Whether it is by finding your tickle spots or by his words, he'll find every tiny pet peeves you have and use them strategically to annoy you.

💜 He would make the most sickeningly innocent puppy dog face afterwards that'll make you reconsider wopping his ass.

💜 Satoru's playful, flirty and annoying when things are going good and there is no death threats looming over the both of you.

💜 Makes indecent sexual innuendos at random intervals during the entire day( a bonus if you're easily flustered bc then he JuST WOnT STop).

💜 He is talkative when he wants to be and with you he can talk about almost anything, the new movies he watched, cafes he saw while slacking off at work, some sweets or snacks that you should try. He's a chatterbox and can keep any sort of conversation going.

💜 Satoru prefers to keep things light so he won't talk about his work all that often. If you ask, he'll just keep it to all the funny embarrassing stories of his students but that's the extent to it.

💜 It's not because he doesn't trust you, it's his own sense of responsibility towards you that makes him want to protect you from his dangerous lifestyle. You know what you were up for before entering in a relationship with him and that's exactly why he wants to make you happy by keeping you in the light.

💜 Although Satoru seems like the tough love kinda guy, he's occasionally soft for you. So expect a bit of coddling at the beginning atleast. He'll eventually tell you all about the Jujutsu world if you're just a civilian and the other things that you're not aware of.

💜 Probably tries to act cool and flex a little when you're with him and his students. Megumi gets exasperated really quick because of his exaggerated reactions and cheesy talk( yep he is and he does it on purpose).

💜 Loves making his students uncomfortable with a extra amout of pda when you are around. Otherwise, he holds back on physical affection when you're outdoors, just to be on the safe side.

💜 Expect a lot of snacks and sweets as souvenirs whenever he goes on his ' business trips' (he never goes into details about where he's going tho).

💜 Movie nights are a given everytime you get together on a weekend. He loves watching those dark movies where the main character gets an untimely and gruesome death or just straight up trashy horror movies that serves as a comic relief ( He never stops chatting during these but you don't stop him cuz his comments are just too funny).

💜 He's dramatic and goofy everytime you go on dates and tries to pull cringey pick up lines just to make you laugh but you know how much of a smooth talker he can be. Tho he'll never stop calling you dessert based nicknames (the guy's got a sweet tooth afterall).

💜 May have tried to make you jealous on purpose by reacting to a couple of girls that tried to hit on him. (Pls don't get actually angry he was just trying to see if you were the jealous type or not). If you are though, then boy does it inflat his ego or what. He'll tease you constantly about it.

💜 Usually doesn't plan dates he's more of an impromptu or just go with mood kinda guy. So your date spots are gonna be pretty random. But hey, the foods always good.

💜 Most of your dates are during the daytime cuz he's running his shady errands at night but when he's free during that time as well, he'll take you stargazing or someplace high with a good view and just relax.

💜 Overall Satoru is a pretty easygoing guy who both is casual and passionate in a relationship. As a naturally calm and level headed person he never steps out of line (atleast not on purpose). Fights are not a common occurrence between the two of you cuz he hates the thought of it. And even if in a situation where you are upset with him, he gives you space and talks it out whenever you are ready. He's a patient guy.

A/N: Hello! Thank you for reading this, I might make some changes in this later if i feel like I depicted him wrong cuz I've only seen the anime. If you have any ideas or suggestions of your own please leave a comment!

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk gojo #gojou satoru #gojo satoru #satoru #jjk headcanons #headcanons #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #fluff #ramblings

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bodyswapmischief · 4 years

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Glitch in the System: A Love Story in Quarantine

(This story is a little different from what, I normally post, in that is doesn't involve body swap or transformations. But, I really loved writing it. And, hope you all enjoy it to)

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!!!" Carter yelled from his room. The walls of the house reverberated, with his voice.

"Shit, dude! Whet the hell happened," Elijah came hurrying in.

"The restaurant called me. Somebody got the Corona-Virus. Now, the whole restaurant is going to close," Carter sighed out.

Elijah smiles and gives a small laugh, "Welcome to the club. Think about it this way, now you have time to relax ..."

"No, no, no, I can't do that. I need to be on the move, I need to do something to keep busy. I can't just sit on my ass all day watching T.V, no offense." Carter interrupted.

"None taken," Elijah said sarcastically. "Just, wait. I was like you when this all started. I'll give you a day, and you'll see there nothing else to do. You'll even learn to like it." He forewarned.

"Yeah, no, I am going out. So, see you later. This quarantine is not stopping me." Carter proclaimed as he gather his stuff and walked out the door.

...

After attempting to live a normal life, during quarantine, Carter came back to the apartment defeated. "Elijah was right, there was nothing to do." He thought to himself. But, his thoughts quickly faded, when he walked back into the apartment. He began hearing the sounds of women moaning, in sexual pleasure.

He began walking into the living room and there, with his shorts off, ilwas Elijah. He rhythmically pumped his rock hard cock, as his own moans blinded him to the fact that Carter walked in on him.

"No way! Your masturbating on the couch," Carter said perplexed. He wasn't sure if he should laugh or be mad. "The couch is the neutral zone, dude, you can do that shit in your room. I fucking eat here."

Elijah heart stopped, as he turned his head to look at Carter. With lightning speed he put on his shorts and turned off the T.V. "Oh, fuck! Dude ... I wasn't doing anything."

"Bro, I literally just saw you. It's no big deal. I'm going take a shower and try to forget what I just saw." Carter said annoyed.

"Yeah for sure, it just that I didn't expect you home so soon and your usually at work, when I do it so.." Elijah tried to explain.

"Bro. Just stop it ... why the fuck would you tell me you've done it more than once, on the couch ... I didn't need to know that shit! Fuck, dude!" Carter said frustrated.

"Okay, I'll keep my mouth shut. It's just my stress and this awkward situation ... I'm fucking rambling. It's just been hard containing this horny beast, during quarantine." Elijah referred to his cock. "And, Roxy's parent's won't let her come over, so I haven't been able to get my daily dose of sex." Elijah finished with a nervous chuckle and his face turning red, with embarrassment.

"Hey look dude, really it's okay. I'm not that mad about it. I'm more going through shock ... ha. In fact it's going be one of those times we laugh about in the future. The time I saw your dick and caught you masturbating." Carter sighed trying to calm his friend down. "Shit, I feel your pain. Ever since this whole quarantine started the booty well, has been drying out for me, too. In fact, it's been completely dry as of late." Carter continued. "Not going to lie, been masturbating non-stop ... but I have the decency to keep it in my room." He laughs.

Carter proceeded to go to the shower, while in an embarrassed fog, Elijah started straining out the apartment. Elijah was able to calm down enough to start watching tv. After some time passed, Carter came back out. Elijah was worried that Carter was going to say something but, was happily shocked when he just sat next to him.

"So what are we watching." Carter asked.

"Oh, it's a new netflix documentary about this crazy tiger guy and some chick that killed her husband. It's the first episode, so I'll just start it from the beginning." Elijah answered.

As time passed, the two young men found themselves growing more sleepier. The hours moved to the the early morning but, both guys were too invested into the show. Both, unaware of how heavy their eyelids were getting.

...

Carter felt heavy, but strangely comfortable and safe. Even with his eyes closed, they were blinded by the sun in the living room. The soft couch around him, his dick was rock hard. As, he begun to pulsates on something firm on top of him.

Elijah started to wake up as he felt something under him move. His own dick becoming aroused. And pulsating in return. He felt some rock hard cock rubbing at his stomach. Meanwhile, Carter started felling some pressure enlarge and grow against his thigh.

Simultaneously the illusion caused by the sleepy fog wore off, as both boys realized what was happening. They both opened their eyes and saw each others face. In a panic Elijah jump off his roommate and Carter got up off the couch.

"Dude what the fuck were you doing, to me!" Elijah yelled.

"Fuck, dude! I just felt something on me, I didn't know it was you. And, why the fuck am I trying to explain myself. Why the fuck were you sleeping on me!?" Carter yelled back

"I don't fucking know ... I guess we just crashed on the couch and in our sleep our bodies position themselves like that. Fuck, fuck, fuck!." Elijah let out.

"First, I catch you masturbating and now this. You did this on purpose you fucker. You wanted me to help relieve you of your sexual urges. I'm not fucking gay bro." Carter yelled, with his voice shaking.

""What the fuck. I ain't gay either. And, you just talked about how you couldn't get pussy either. And, you were the one that started rubbing your dick on me!!." Elijah retorted.

"Okay ... okay ... this is what's going to happen. We are going to spend the day as far apart from each other as possible. We are going to try forget this and move on. We were half asleep, it didn't mean anything. right?." Carter panicked.

"Yeah, exactly, it meant shit." Carter tried to reassure himself.

They guys walked past each other awkwardly, trying their hardest not to walk into eachother on the way to their rooms. Hours passed, and both guys starting forgetting, about the awkwardness of the morning. Endless content of videos, movies, video games, helped clear their minds.

Carter was getting restless and decided to do some work around the house. There were always things breaking and he never had time to fix them. Elijah also needed new scenery, as he was getting tired of being in his room. So, he went to the living room, to continue his t.v. viewing. The guys looked at eachother awkwardly but they continued what they were doing.

Carter started working around the house, trying to find anything that needed to be fixed. Moving around heavy furniture was the workout he needed. He removed his shirt that started to cling to him do to his sweat.

Elijah awkwardly glanced, at him. "Was he really doing that, after what just happened this morning." Elijah thought to himself. He saw as sweat dripping down his roommates body. It glistened as the sunlight reflected off his body. His abs, biceps, chest, and shoulder working to together, as the flexed and relaxed, to move the heavy furniture. "Thank god we didn't go to sleep with our clothes off. I'm glad we had layers of clothes between us. It would have been way worst, if we were having skin to skin contact." Elijah continued thinking.

He couldn't keep his eyes off his friend. And, his dick was getting hard, as thoughts of his dick pressed against Carter's warm muscular thigh came rushing back into his mind. He started imagining fucking and getting fucked by his friend. He couldn't take it anymore, so he rushed into the bathroom and went into a shower. He started jacking off. He tried to change his thoughts, but images of Carter were stuck in his mind. He tried to think off his girlfriend but it wasn't doing anything, for him anymore.

He started crying, as he kept masturbating to images of his friend. He took his cock and pumped it with the beat of his thoughts. Imagining his shirtless friend. Fucking his friend. Both of their bodies tangled in the act of love. He tried hard to think of anyone else. He thought of his girlfriend, but within a second his mind returned to Carter. He thought of hot female celebrities, but their images couldn't stand the flood of Carter in tight clothes that revealed his gym body. He even tried to think of other guys ... male celebrities, guys at the gym ... but not even they held a light to his sexual attraction for Carter.

He felt it in his core. At this moment he wasn't straight anymore. He wasn't even gay. He only had sexual feelings for one person and the person was Carter. After an hour in the shower, Elijah leaned against the shower wall panting with excasty. His body extremely tired. He couldn't believe how many times he cummed. But, for now his sexual urges seem to be satisfied. But, with his stomach rumbling, he knew he needed to eat something after the steamy masturbatical workout session he just had in the shower.

He walk out and saw, Carter, who by now was done and watching TV. A little embarrassed from what happened this morning and more embarrassed by his thoughts in the shower he said, "Hey, I'm going to cook some food, you hungry."

"Sure," Carter said not looking away from the T.V. Time continued to pass, until the aroma from the kitchen was becoming stronger. His stomach started growling, so he turn his head to see the progress of the food. He saw Elijah working hard. Food stains on his shirt from the spaghetti sauce he made. He looked so cute the way he worked. He was lucky to have him as a friend and a roommate. Unlike Carter, Elijah didnt go to the gym. But that doesn't mean he wasn't fit. He kept himself healthy with daily runs and the occasional hiking trip.

Carter wanted to go up and hug him from behind, and give him a kiss, like a good boyfriend. Then images of the morning popped up in Carter's mind. What the fuck was he thinking. He's not dating Elijah. "I'm not even gay, " Carter thought to himself." But that didn't stop the images of imagining Elijah sucking his dick. And he licking Elijah's ass. As he sat, trying not to think of his friend like that, his dick started growing excited by the thoughts.

"Um dude, I going for a drive ... I've been cooped up in here to long. I need some air." Carter said gathering his things and rushing out the door.

"But the foods almost done." Elijab said a little annoyed.

"I'll eat it when. I back, I just need to go." Carter said in sexual pain as his dick was angry about being ignored.

He drove and called up his list of chicks, until one accepted his offer of sex. He was also glad because she was one of the hottest chicks on his list. He got there and straight away they started making out. But every time Carter blinked or closed his eyes he saw images of Elijah. As, his one night stand began to strip, his erection started going down. The big juicy ass, the nice pair of tits, no longer pleased him. He could feel himself panicking, as she started to strip him of his clothes.

"What your not hard yet." She said unsurprised. "And your so tensed. I got a solution for that." She proceeded to sit him on her chair. Taking his flaccid dick she began to suck. He knew he should be enjoying this, but his dick wouldn't get hard. He closed his eyes, to try imagine something that would turn him on. But, still only thoughts of Elijah filled his mind. And with these thoughts, his dicks began to harden. It was rock hard. The hardest it ever been and made even slightly bigger. He opened his eyes, but as soon as he did he saw the chicks naked body. A body he once loved looking at, but it was causing him to lose his erection. So, he closed his eyes again, as she finished sucking him off.

His dick stayed hard, and now it was his time to please her. But, as he brought his dick to her vagina, the erection started fading. "Hey look this is not working. It's to much effort and I don't like that. Your obviously going through something. You haven't been yourself. Comeback when you got your shit dealt with." She said as she got off the bed and started getting dressed.

Carter felt so embarrassed. "Yeah, I don't know whats wrong with me. No hard feelings?" He shyly looked at her.

She similed, " You aren't the only guy on my list, I can call up. But, you are ... or were the best." She jokingly sighed, as she winked at him.

On, the way home his erection came back. And, the thoughts of Elijah flooded his mind. In the garage he stayed, until he masturbated for an hour. Ashamed of himself he walked into the apartment.

Carter walked in to hear Elijah moaning his name. He walked into the living room, where Elijah was sitting on the couch. Elijah was wearing Carter's dirty clothes, from earlier that day. Shorts wrapped around his ankles, and dick poking out of his briefs, he was jacking off while looking at shirtless picks of Carter on Instagram

"What the fuck!"Carter yelled. Elijah got up with lightning speed. To scared to say anything. Carter came closer and pushed Elijah onto the couch. Elijah started bracing himself, in the fear that Carter was going to start kicking the shit out of him. A few seconds passed. "Fuck," Carter said. Elijah opened his eyes, as he saw Carter begin to kneel down. His mouth staring to envelop Elijah's dick. Instantly both of their dicks became rock hard. There were no longer need for words as they performed the dance of love.

Elijah began to help Carter strip his clothes off and Carter helped position Elijah, so that both of them could suck each others dick in unison. Elijah enjoyed the big muscled body on top of him. He felt safe in Carter's strong arms. Carter enjoyed finally having someone he could care for and love. He no longer needed a fuck list. He just needed Elijah. He loved that he could wrap his arms around Elijah's smaller yet fit body.

During a plethora of orgasms, and taking turns fucking each other, they moved throughout the house and into Carter's bedroom. They laid next to eachother panting form the intense sexual workouts they just did. Their bodies still tingling from the orgasmic rush. They cuddled like that for minutes, slowly relaxing their heart rates and bodies.

Finally Elijah broke the silence. "So what does this mean?"

Carter was shocked by the question."What do you mean?"

"What does this mean for our friendship. Is it going to be awkward around us. I mean l ... I'm no psychologist but the only reason this happened is because of the quarantine. We both are young horny guys ... and we couldn't get sex anywhere else. So, we went to eachother to get our sex fix. So, after quarantine we should psychological revert to normal." Elijah tried to explain.

Carter's heart was a little hurt. "Do you really feel that way. Or, are you just lying to yourself. I know you feel it, too. Some happened to us. There's this energy we share, now, for some reason. If you're saying this because you think that's how I feel, your wrong." He started getting choked up. " I fucking love you, and after the sex we just had, I know you love me to. And, your theory is worng, I was able to get a sex offer from one of the hottest chicks on my list. But I could only think about you. So tell me there's something between us. Because, for the first time I'm actually feeling happy. I found a part of me that been missing .. it's you. I need you ... I need this whatever it is."

Elijah eyes began to get watery, seeing Carter's pain. "No your right, there is something between us. It the most powerful feeling I've ever felt. I can't even think of my girlfriend the same way. I feel nothing for her. But, sitting here with you ... it feels ... it feels like home." Elijah smiled, but started thinking. "So, this changes a lot. I'm going have to break up with my girlfriend. Are we gay, now? What are our friends and family gonna think..." Elijah started to ramble.

But, Carter brought him out of his thoughts, "Don't worry. What ever this is; it is different. I don't feel straight anymore. But, I wouldn't say I was gay. That implies I like guys in general. The truth is I only like you. Elijah, I'm only attracted to you. This love between us it's strong. As long as we are together we can face anything. So, what if my family disowns me or we lose some friends. I'd trade everything I have for you." Carter said shaking from the truth and deep passion of his words.

"I feel the same. I only love you, too. Carter." Elijah smiled up at Carter. And Carter wrapped his muscular arms around Elijah. And, Elijah pressed his head on Carter's muscular chest. Elijah own arms wrapped around Carter. And, Carter felt safe and loved by Elijah smaller yet muscular body. They were both strong. They were in it together, whatever the future held. They were roommates, friends, equals, and now lovers. And, they both smiled knowing that with a radmon glitch in the universe, they found true love.

#male #body #swap #mischief #mental #transformation #tf #story #stories

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itsmoonphobic · 4 years

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Moonbow at it yet again with a new Mcyt AU-But like what else am I supposed to do?I got so much positive feedback for my royalty AU that I decided to come up with a new AU! Plus I binged all the Ocean's movies and like the main one that inspired me was Ocean's 8,that movie slaps!If you haven't watched it yet you definitely should!!Anyway-Like I said my family and I just moved and I'm getting an extreme haircut today(lmao) so I'm pretty busy but don't worry the first chapter of "Royal Buisness" is going to be out in a few weeks/months!!Love u all and hope u like it <3💤💙

📷Target Spotted💻 (Mcyt Spy AU)

Sleepyboisinc(S.B.I) -> my absolute favorite bois ♡

-The sleepyboisinc originally started of as a joke.A few five year olds have the dream of becoming secret agents and start their own Buisness.

-No one really took it seriously back in the days when the three boys would draw and write down ideas for advanced technology devices and gadgets,I mean c'mon it's only natural for kids to grow up with dreams.The childish roleplaying on the playground eventually stopped but the dream stayed.Everyone simply thought that the trio would forget about their ideas in a few years and "grow up".

-Well they were wrong.Nobody could have predicted that the three of them continued with their "shenanigans" through all of their years in highschool-

-Techno,Phil and Wilbur stayed in touch while growing up. The three of them developed such a stron brotherly bond that at some point they left out everyone else and only shared their time with eachother.Their families informed them that they should be more open and extroverted but the three of them are stubborn.

-Time skip to College.Techno went on to study Psychology and English,Wilbur went to start a musical career and Phil- he just kinda disappeared?He didn't tell them where he went to college or what he was doing after school.

-So after two years of somewhat going their separate ways and two years of Phil missing without a single trace,both Techno and Wilbur decide to meet up and look for him. What the two didn't expect is that that night their childhood dream would become reality.

-Turns out that Phil,during those two years,secretly developed the S.B.I foundation.Techno and Wilbur couldn't believe that he managed to do all of this by himself and honestly?They were more than impressed and happy.It was their life long dream afterall and the fact that Phil made it all possible was absolutely overwhelming and appreciated.

-Phil explained everything.He told them that he didn't expect it to actually turn out this good and work functionality but it did!Phil also didn't accomplish it by himself but he hired a few poeple they could use on their side.At this point Techno and Wilbur were even more in love with their new jobs that they immediately dropped out of their previous occupations.

-He showed them around and the two of them were awestruck.Phil couldn't help but smile and laugh at their reactions since he only expected it to be this way.Phil didn't have to show them how things work becouse they created and designed all of this together,Phil was only the one who made it reality.

-Everything looked like from their drawings.The whole aesthetic of the building the S.B.I was located in was amazing.The outside looked like nothing special,and that's the way it's supposed to be.People weren't ment to get suspicious and curious.So making it look like a simple buisness was perfect.

-The only thing Techno and Wilbur weren't familiar with was the new staff so Phil gladly introduced them to eachother! Techno could already tell that there are a few poeple who he clearly won't get along with aswell as people he sees himself working with quite okay.As Phil watched them interacting he couldn't help the wide smile forming on his lips: The sleepy bois are finally reunited :)

Techno N.(Blade):

Techno is one of the best if not the best spy and the one with the biggest amount of action going on.His loyalty and dedication to his job are insane.Even back when they were kids Techno was always the one to stick up for Phil and Wilbur and make sure that the kids who bully them never show their faces again.

Techno is tough and clever.He thinks before he acts.His movements aren't exactly the most precise ones but they are definitely swift.Not to mention that there are times where instead of intimidating the target into getting out the information they need Techno turns to violence.He does apologize for it afterwards though so it's chill.

Techno is a professional at his finest.Getting caught?Never. Messing up?Not Techno.Tricks or traps?Don't work- During his training arc Techno learned the ways of a spy in and out. When Techno wants something to happen or go his way he only focuses on said thing and leaves it aside once he achieves what he wanted.

Techno prefers to work alone,he is extremely shy and introverted so it isn't easy working with people he's not comfortable around or familiar with.His social anxiety is not really a big help either- (Protect him) Another fun fact is that Techno's ADHD makes him struggle with his big focus ability.But everyone in the company knows it and they know that he can't do anything about it. •Accepting friends am I right? :)

Techno is the only employee that Phil let's in on the biggest news and insights first(Apart from Wilbur) and he is also the only one he trusts with the more dangerous weapons.Techno is really good with those!

Techno's missions are the ones that mostly need to be taken care of at night-His sleeping schedule is messed up so Phil gave him the night shift.Of course Phil has days where he strictly tells Techno to take them off so he can take care of his health and sleep.Techno refuses but knows that it makes Phil happy so he takes days off for him (I love their relationship <3)

Techno's job is his number one priority.Due to the fact that he used to study and specialize in psychology as well as in English and it's History Techno is very smart. His intelligence and usage of certain words tend to confuse other people and Techno would do it on purpose just to see the expression on their faces.

May I add that Techno is very calm and sarcastic.He also tends to be very polite and cold which makes poeple uncomfortable sometimes.His ego and confidence are both massive aswell which has it's ups and downs!

Techno is really good in cartography(Maps).During highschool Techno unintentionally desroyed everyone in Geography.He didn't like the subject he was only a natural at it.(If you couldn't figure it out already I obviously had to put in an SMP Earth reference)

Techno is one hell of a pilot.Poeple seriously question themselves how he is so good at flying planes or helicopters.Why complain though?A talent like that could come in handy any time when needed.

Phil W.(1ZA):

The boss and founder of the Sleepyboisinc(S.B.I)

Phil was the one who made all of their childhood dreams come true,and he's very proud of how far he himself and his friends have come!

Phil goes on missions on very rare occasions.His main job is to stay in his office and make sure that things run smoothly and the way they are supposed to.

He counts and is known as the information center and the backup for his agents.Him going on missions is very risky since he always has to be available during everything.His main priority is that all of his agents and friends come back safely and most importantly alive from their jobs.

Becouse Phil is mostly stuck in his office busy with paper work,he can read his agents like an open book. Phil's ability to instantly make someone feel welcomed and loved can either be seen as comforting or scary.One look at you and Phil knows exactly what topics to talk about.He can't but choose to use that ability to his advantage.

Phil is a very caring and kind person.He is the definition of wholesome!S.B.I is pretty lucky to have such a understanding and nice boss to work with.

Phil tends to keep his eyes on the troublemakers(I will get to them later 👀)and Techno especially.The first one is pretty self explanatory since the nickname says it all.Techno on the other hand is in Phil's sight not becouse he's a brainless idiot but of his health issues.

He is a very patient and empathetic person it isn't in his nature to be angry or mad at someone but when he is it gets scary.To have Phil actually mad it you,you would have to fuck up big time.Poeple who have experienced Phil being angry with them have nightmares till this day.He won't be violent and he won't insult you but he will hit you where it hurts the most,he will fo under the deepest parts of your skin. (Not physically but mentally)

Phil knows the right time to be serious and the right time to have fun and joke around with his friends.After a successful mission the crew would go out and celebrate their victory.Phil has to make sure that all of his idiot agents don't get too drunk so that no laws will be broken and no unnecessary information will be spread around.Gotta keep up a good rep am I right?

Everyone in the company sees Phil as a big father figure.I mean who wouldn't?The vibes he gives of remind everyone of an overprotective dad.Whenever somebody of his agents has a problem their first instinct is to go and talk to Phil about them.Phil will gladly listen and cheer them up when he needs to <3

Wilbur S.(Dirty Crime Boy):

Wilbur is the S.B.I's decoy and undercover specialist. His biggest flex is that becouse he is so handsome and charming,Phil decided to let him be the distraction. This guy could flirt with anyone and he would have them wrapped around his finger in no time.

There is just something so exciting and addictive to taking on different personalities and outfits.Wilbur can pull out any look or personality trait.His favorite one would have to be a musician,he doesn't have to act around too much since he's in his natural habitat. Wilbur sometimes has way too much fun with his job.

There are times where Wilbur is asked to perform somewhere so that Techno or whoever is on a mission with him is able to do what they need to do.He will get caught up in the moment and forget that he is on a mission so when Phil tells Wilbur's partner to drag him off stage and calm him down they immediately do so.

Apart from that,Wilbur is extremely good at what he does.You know those guys in movies who will drug other poeple's drinks and stuff to either rob them or drag them someplace else?Yeah that guy is Wilbur. His suave attitude and velvety voice makes everyone want to have a drink with him :)

Wilbur has the power of blackmailing on his side.This guy knows everything about everyone.You smoked weed with your ex on a highschool party?Wilbur knows it all.Some shit you did when you were home alone three weeks ago?Wilbur has all the details.He knows so much shit that people who work with him are genuinely scared to get close to him just couse they fear that he will know all their secrets.

Somehow Wilbur is able to get any information that is required for a certain mission.Your grandma's name?Blood type?Favorite type of cacti?Wilbur has it all memorized in his head.Phil may have all the needed information but Wil has the dirty secrets and past shit someone has gotten themselves into.

Wilbur's favorite person to work with has to be Techno.Not only becouse of their brotherly bond but becouse Wil knows that if he's stuck somewhere Techno is always around and will get him out.Wil simply enjoys Techno's company,he doesn't talk much so it gives Wilbur enough time and silence to talk about his day or something stupid that pissed him off.

Becouse Wilbur has to work undercover and make sure that he doesn't get recognized,he is fluent in multiple languages,his most requested ones are: German,French and Spanish!!(My personal headcanon I know Wilbur doesn't speak all three of them fluently)

Wilbur is the one who gets send onto missions that require to travel to a different country.Most of the time Wilbur happily agrees but on rare occasions where he feels as if something might go wrong or when he has a bad feeling about some place he will desperately try and get Phil to send someone else.

Tommy S.(Innit) ->Proud Inniter btw <3

Sixteen years old and already a spy?Tommy is living the dream of surely everybody in his highschool.Being light and quick on his feet Tommy's job is sneaking in and pickpocketing.Need a unique antique located in a safely secured safe?Tommy's got you.A wallet with a credit card or ID?Tommy already has it.Maybe it's a watch or a jewelry piece?It's Tommy's now.

Tommy's outgoing and energetic personality is a huge boost to the company.Whenever an agent backs down from a mission,Tommy will immediately call them out for being a coward.Tommy has the mouth of a sailor so him calling you a piss baby or bitch boy is completely normal to everybody working in S.B.I

They are pretty much used to it that Tommy has no filter when it comes to his opinion on something.He is brutally honest and isn't afraid to call you out for you bullshit.Tommy can be a little too open minded from time to time which gets him into dumb situations.

Tommy has the stupid ability to make everyone hate him the moment they meet him.Tommy tends to start fights or arguments against multiple people who are way stronger and taller than him.He doesn't think before he acts and just dives head in.

Almost 99.9% of the complaints Phil receives from other companies or his familiars are from Tommy.Even though Tommy promises Phil to stay out of trouble and keep his attitude to himself,he still manages to break those promises the moment someone insults his friends or makes fun of him.Phil seriously needs to teach him some proper manners-

"The business bay" is a small alliance that Tommy has formed in S.B.I,long story short it's all the younger agents (Tommy,Toby,Bitzel,Deo and Luke)in the company working together in a group.(Mostly just becouse all four of them go to the same School and Tommy needs people to steal homework from-)

Tommy seeks attention and admiration in any shape or form.Call him an "Alpha male" and you've got your name secured on "Keep them safe" list.The only other person Tommy admires,apart from himself is Techno. Literally the smallest "good job" or "well done" sends Tommy's ego over the edge.He will brag to everybody who is stupid enough to listen to him.He will constantly try and impress Techno in any way,which ends up in Tommy getting too ahead of himself and getting embarrassed for being so clumsy.

Wilbur and Tommy have a wierd relationship.One minute they are normally interacting with eachother and the other they are trying to kill eachother.Tommy complains about Wilbur all the time,about how annoying he is and that he thinks that he's best- Though when it comes to having eachother's backs that rivalry is put aside and they work together to save both of their asses.

Neither Techno or Wilbur will admit it but when Phil sends either of them to get Tommy's ass out of some shit he has gotten himself into the two of them are worried and get very protective over him.Sure Techno teases and ignores Tommy to no end and Wilbur annoys the living shit out of him but both of them make sure to take care of Tommy like their little bro.

AHHHHH IT'S FINISHED!!ANOTHER AU HAS BEEN WRITTEN QJSJWKKQ-Sorry guys I'm very excited about this AU,I have been working on it for a few days now and I had to write down all my headcanons and ideas!Don't worry my royal AU is still a work in progress so keep in mind that the first chapter will come out soon!I hope you guys enjoyed my Spy AU and ofcourse any kind of feedback is welcomed! Love u all <3 <3

#mcyt au #minecraft youtubers #minecraft #mcyt #spy #spy au #secret agent #au #alternate universe #technoblade #ph1lza #wilbursoot #wilbur soot #tommyinnit #tommy innit #timedeo #tubbo #bitzel

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judgement-free-sideblog · 5 years

Text

Dancing lessons.

Barry Berkman x reader

Hi there! So I was watching Friends yesterday and I came across the one where Joey speaks french, and then I was thinking about how in season 2 Barry already has his Headshots, and I wanted to write something about a false ability he could have put on his resume.

So this will be an 8 part series, and I will try to update it at least twice a week but can't promise anything.

Summary: Barry is finally cast in a feature, the problem? He said he could dance and now he can either disappoint Sally or found a way to learn some steps.

Warnings: Swearing, cheating maybe.

Part 1 ● Part 2 ● Part 3 ● Part 4 ● Part 5 ● Part 6 ● Part 7 ● Part 8 ● Epilogue

Part 1

A sharpie written ad in the door said: "Joe's friend callbacks" that could give him an idea of how unimportant this character was, because so far he didn't even had a name, nevertheless he was happy that they had call him back for a reason other than "You look good on the poster"

Although he was suspicious the "minor" changes Natalie and Sally had convinced him to do to his resume was the reason, he could not blame them, at first the page was empty and depressing, and now he appear to be a very compelling person, maybe someone he would like to be. Someone who could speak french and Italian, and had formal training in at least three styles of dancing, tango, salsa and tap.

Worst case scenario, they had said, there is someone better than you first and is just another bad audition. And so far it hasn't been a problem, people usually overlook that because they didn't need that on their movies.

But now it was different, there was at least three men in front of him and four behind all of them more or less his height and complexion, waiting to re read the lines for the upcoming movie, a place to dare dreaming. As far as he understood it was a drama about a men seeking meaning in life, and Barry was trying to be the best friend's best friend, he would have five scenes in the whole movie and was merely an excuse to make exposition questions and be gone for the rest of the movie.

Not a bad place to start, Sally said, and he might actually make connections and even find an agent. So he was there for some reason dressed with black loose pants and a loose blue shirt, just like the rest of them. Finally after another half hour or so the casting assistant exited the door and call for him.

"Hi, I'm Barry Block, reading for Joe's friend" He said looking at the people behind the table and he notice another woman there dressed as a ballerina, he was not entirely sure why.

"Fine, in this scene you are just finishing dancing with your partner, then Joe" The director point at a man who was already cast as the lead best friend "Yeah, Joe will call you to ask you something and then the scene starts"

Barry did as he was told, and when he was in the middle of telling Joe to go help the lead build the boat of his dreams or something like that the director interrupted him.

"Just one sec, Barry was it?" He said and Barry was already feeling the whole you are not what we are looking for speech coming. "It says here that you dance?"

"Um hum" He muttered every second more disconcerted.

"Tango? Janice you do tango right?" He asked the ballerina.

"No Andre, I only have a career in dance but I don't do tango" She said rolling her eyes "Of course I do" she and when the director look at her in exasperation.

"Then is settled, unless any of the other guys can dance we will go with Mr. Block here"

"Excuse me what?" Barry said a little lightheaded.

"Oh this scene, we originally wanted to have a big ballet dancing sequence that inspire Daniel, the lead to follow his dreams, but we scratched off because of the budget but since you can dance you and Janice can do a small version of it." Talk with Sophie on the way out we start on monday.

"Sure, thanks" he said with a calm voice and walked out to find the cast assistant.

"Mr. Block?" She said now a little more nice than when he entered in the morning. "You'll have to sing some documents and we will be ready"

"Sure, yeah fine, one question tho, what exactly does he mean Andre with me dancing with Janice?" He asked trying to sound casual

"Oh well since they are just adding the sequence I will say that they will tell you exactly what they want in a couple weeks and then you will have to rehearse with Janice and film it by the end of the next month" She said like it was no big deal.

"Two weeks?" He asked again and she could see that he was nervous.

"More or less, but I figure since you are an actual dancer that would be fine right?" He nod not very sure of her statement and she start looking in her purse and finally give him a card. "Look I won't tell you how to do your job, but if by any chance you are not convinced of what to do, you should go here, she may help you"

***

He shut the door of the apartment with enough strength to make one of the frames in the wall shake, of course he was furious. But it wasn't your fault and you wouldn't put up with his temperament. After 5 years of marriage Alan was finally beginning to understand that it was better to walk away and let things cool down before any of you could say something too painful.

And what could you say? You told him before you get married that you didn't want children and he married you anyway. He was not able to change your mind, that was no reason to scream and fight like that. You shake the thoughts from your head and pick up you bag, ready to walk down to the studio.

Your friend Sophie had made you a call earlier asking for your help with another lost case, and usually those pay well so you could surprise Alan with a nice dinner and maybe you would let him convince you to open up at the idea, at least for long enough to live peacefully.

You could tell who your new student was the minute you entered the studio, your assistant was talking with the other couples for the romantic dance lessons and he was in a corner looking at the door like he was planning an escape.

You take the attending list and seek for his name, Barry Block, you hope is not a sing of how hard will it be to make him move, but his large frame was telling you it will.

"Mr. Block?" You called him apart once you were dress in more comfortable clothes, he walked towards you and you could see he was at least 1 feet taller than you. "You work with Sophie right?"

"I do, I ... she said you could help me amm..."

"To make your dancing believable, yes, don't worry you are not the first nor the last actor that lies on an audition, but for future reference put something more achievable like learn Russian" You said part serious part kidding "Learning tango is complicated and demanding, is not just sexy dresses and fancy music, but since this is the land of dreams I can teach you a couple things"

"That would be great, and again I'm so embarrassed that this happened, but I need the job"

"Well that's another sad part of the story this class ain't cheap, and there's only so little I can do for you in three weeks"

"That's not a problem" He said immediately and took a little envelope from his pocket and gave it to you "This is for the first two lessons"

"Excellent, then we can start" You look at his clothes, jeans and a hoodie and very uncomfortable sneakers "You may need to change, and also stretch a little, we don't want accidents" you pointed to the dressing room and let him borrow a more lose pant and proper dancing shoes.

You finishes your lesson with the other couples and after and hour he, you and Macy your assistant were the only ones there.

"Ok for starters, that's not stretching" you told him once you saw he couldn't reach his toes. "Come sit here" You told him and sit in the middle of the floor with your legs completely extended and asked him to do the same.

"I'm not very use to this, I'm in shape as much as I can but this is different" He said awkwardly trying to reach his toes the way you did yours.

"If you don't mind me asking Mr. Block, why do you need the job?" You said standing up and helping him bend his back. "I don't think they will pay you more than I'm taking from you"

"Is not about the money" he said simply and took the hand you offered him to stand. "I need to prove myself I can be an actor, a real one, also my girlfriend is recording a show and I..." he star touching his hair distracted.

"You don't want to be left behind? Yeah I know what is like" You said to him. "Well in that case I would do my best, but for real you have to stop being so rigid" you said taking him by the hips and he flinch with surprise to then let go a chuckle

"I'm sorry" He said and you nodded and put your hands on his hips again "First we are going to have to work on that posture, lower just a bit your hips and bend your knees" You said pushing him down a bit.

"Like this" he said flexing down so much that he was almost at your height.

"Not at all, I'll show you, Macy come here" You call the girl who was already hiding her laugh behind a magazine, she put on some music on his phone into the speakers and walked towards you.

You took her by the waist and started just making simple walks at the rhythm of the music, showing him how he had to bend his knees but not making it all that evident, then when the next song star going faster you started making more quick moves and shen it turn slow you drag your leg inside slowly, and embraced Macy pulling her closer to you.

"Ok, I can definently not do that" he said once you were done, and you felt flattered to se some amusement in his face.

"I know, but we will figure something out" you smile at him and turn off the music to again trying to make him bend his knees properly.

#barry berkman x reader #barry block #barry hbo #barry berkman #barry berkman edit #Bill Hader #barry fanfiction #dance #tango #angst #comedy #drama #romance #sally reed

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houseswolo · 4 years

Text

Day 17 - 'Tis The Season To Be Thirsting

"Oh come all ye Forceful..."

The last of our Thirsties to be showcased:

Wilson

(Tumblr: @wilsonthinks66 | Twitter: Wilsonthinks66 | Ao3: Wilson66)

What got you into Star Wars?

When a certain Adam Driver revealed his beautiful face in The Force Awakens 😍 helloo handsome

What made you a Reylo? Lightbulb moment!

"You're not alone." "Neither are you."

I think I told Luke to piss off and let them kiss!

Why do you write / make art?

Because why not?! I write when I have that little niggling idea that just won't go away.

The Object of your Thirst…

Oh so many but if we're sticking to the Star Wars it's got to be the beautiful Adam Driver and my favourite ginger Domhnall Gleeson

Which Adam look do you like the best?

Unwrapped and bare chested 🤤😍

Which Adam avatar/ role do you like the best?

Flip Zimmerman, I think my stomach literally flipped (pun intended 😏) when Adam wheeled around on that chair 💦💦

Which part of Adam do you like the best?

A part? How can you only pick one part.

Favorite Star Wars Movie

Probably The Force Awakens, it was the film that made me watch the others in preparation, although Rogue one is a close second.

What do you like to write / draw / paint the most?

Don't judge me but I love writing angst obviously with a well earned happy ending. This is what I want to write as I've made a promise to myself to focus on what I enjoy reading/writing and not worry about others' opinions.

**Eyes the dark Evil Rey idea that won't leave me alone recently**

We'll get to you soon.

(HS: Dooo eeeet!)

Your TRoS Prediction

They all live happily ever after... Hux included 🤞❤️ no I know that may be too optimistic but I do hope we get Bendemption 😍

If you were an aesthetic... (colors, images, feels....)

Red and black are my favourite colour combination, although I adore autumn colours too🍁🧡

What's your ideal environment for writing / creating?

Silence 😂 seriously I am so easily distracted that I need solitary confinement 😅 which may be why I sometimes struggle to finish fics.

Are you a dom or sub?

Switch baby! 🤘 For the perfect partner I'll be whatever they need 😏

What's the most exotic/wierd place you've gotten intimate?

I've spent most of my life at yards, I'm not going to miss the opportunity to roll about the straw barn, now am I? 🙊

What's your kink?

Who doesn't love a good Dom but on the flip who doesn't love a well-behaved sub? 🤷 I'm easily pleased.

Use three words to describe yourself

Loyal, kind (I hope I come across as such) and argumentative sometimes because I can fall out with myself if I'm that way inclined 😂

Meaning behind your nick / ID name

Well it's my name and I wasn't feeling imaginative 😅

Are you a big spoon or little spoon?

I'm a don't touch me while a sleep spoon, solitary spoon 😘

Do you like it rough or soft?

See if you pick one, you lose out on the other. I'm too greedy for that.

Favorite fic you read

Unexpected by pontmercy44. The first star wars fandom fic I ever read that introduced me into this world, I guess.

Favorite fic you wrote or favorite art you made

Decades to Fall for Sunshineflying. A reyux fic (don't shoot the multishipper!) That I just loved writing and wish that every fic was that easy to create. 😍❤️

Favorite SW character besides Kylo and Rey

Oh well this is so hard for me umm 🤔 maybe that ginger General of First Order... I struggle to remember his name 😘 love me some Hux

______

Taz

(Tumblr: @tazwren | Twitter: WrenTaz | Ao3: TazWren & TrashcanWren)

What got you into Star Wars?

Literally, a lightsaber being stuck into my hand, at 7yrs, and being asked to be Vader to my cousin’s Luke Skywalker. I’d never heard of SW till that moment, and I fell headfirst into the Dark Side and in love with the galaxy far, far away! Its been the one franchise that as been a constant for me, the whole time growing up, and I’ve loved having something SW to look forward to every few years. SW and Reylo lifer! 😁😁😎😎

What made you a Reylo? Lightbulb moment!

“You are not alone.” The minute Kylo/Ben said those words, I was gone for Reylo. No true villain would give a flying fuck about his so-called adversary’s mental and emotional health. When their hands touched? I screeched in that theatre! And I may have yelled at Luke as well. Walked out and hunted for Kylo/Rey fanfics and the rest was history!

Why do you write / make art?

I do because the stories show up and make it impossible for me to do anything else but tell them. They buzz and breed and drown out all other sounds, like manic mosquitoes. They can be quite a nuisance that way, but... *throws up hands* ... I gots to do what they tell me to do! 😆

The Object of your Thirst…

Uh, do I even need to answer this? Adam Douglas Driver, Mr.Sensitive-on-a-stick, BDE Boss hisself 😎😏

Once I discovered him, all others ceased to exist for me. (Hugh, who? Chris, what?)

Which Adam look do you like the best?

I like Adam every which way, but my favorites are with facial scruff and slightly shaggy hair - Phillip Altman meets Ben Swolo. Oooh, anytime he is a sweater (or half out of one!) or with his shirtsleeves rolled up. So, um, yeah... 😁

Which Adam avatar/ role do you like the best?

Philip Altman is BAE - he always lightens my heart. And Ben Solo? He owns the frickin’ thing. So yeah, anyone who knows me, knows one ain’t enough 😏

Which part of Adam do you like the best?

His face - it’s so emotive and expressive! His eyes, those lips, that smile that launches a gazillion ships. His hands, his strong-ass arms. That glorious mane of hair. Have I mentioned them tiddies and the tree-trunk thighs?! Oh, and when he flexes his back, and...

Uh... let’s just say, everything Adam?

Favorite Star Wars Movie

The Last Jedi was the most beautifully written and shot movie in the entire franchise, with a depth of characterization and exploration of symbolism that was brilliant. This will always rate as the best for me. A close second, and one I will always love, is Empire Strikes Back. That was quintessential Star Wars and an amazingly good watch - snark, action, angst, love, betrayal, rescue, OMFG!

What do you like to write / draw / paint the most?

Until I started writing Reylo, I’d never been able to write fiction. I could never visualize the stories. And once I started, I haven’t been able to stop! I’ll write anything Reylo, I’ll try writing anything at least once (so, yeah, there may be dark fic as well one day!). My style defaults to either mildly angsty, or humour-laced fluff, or depraved smut. So, not sure what that says about me 😂

Your TRoS Prediction

Bendemption. Reylo. *mic drop*

If you were an aesthetic... (colors, images, feels....)

Blacks, Reds, Greys, slashes of bright turquoise and white and ochre. Blue and white-striped awnings shading an alfresco cafe, overlooking a green ocean. Bright, city lights, reds and yellows glinting off the black water of a bay. A busy airport, with the scents of perfume from Duty-Free as you zoom past it.

If you were a candy bar, what would your name be?

The Ever-lasting Gobstopper 😂

What's your ideal environment for writing / creating?

In a hotel room, on my own. In the back of cab, in the window-seat of an airplane. At my desk, looking out through the window as the breeze blows through the trees, and the Burn This playlist keeps going on repeat.

Are you a dom or sub?

Both? Both is good.

What's the most exotic/wierd place you've gotten intimate?

On the back of a bike, in the middle of the night, stopped at a traffic intersection.

What's your kink?

Size. Hands. Humour. Fidelity, and yet threesomes (go figure, I’m depraved). Mild Dom. Intelligence and thoughtfulness. Hair. Fuck it, Adam.

Use three words to describe yourself

Loyal, funny, organized-chaos (its a thing, trust me!)

Meaning behind your nick / ID name

I’ve always had Taz as a nickname, for the Warner Bros Tasmanian Devil (yes, I’ve been known to be exactly like that! 😂). Wren is a nod to Kylo Ren, and the fact that one of the earliest fanfics I read had Rey naming her son ‘Wren’ as a backhanded pointer to Kylo! So I’m, Taz, a Knight of Ren.

Are you a big spoon or little spoon?

I can be both, till I fall asleep. Then, pls leave me tf alone 😬😁

Do you like it rough or soft?

Both - why choose?!

Favorite fic you read

There are so very many in this amazing fandom! The one that I’ve loved from the beginning, though, is The Art of Broken Pieces - a beautifully written Bendemption fic.

Favorite fic you wrote or favorite art you made

God, this is hard! My recent favorites are Brooklyn Bridge Blues, Caught Between Beats, and A Taste For Two - I like that I’m able to explore a variety of stories and emotions through them. I’m most proud of Confidences To A Stranger because I was able to explore a storytelling medium that I hadn’t before.

Favorite SW character besides Kylo and Rey

Padme Amidala - she reminds me of my mother and grandmother, both of whom were strong women, who got shit done, while always taking care of their people. She was a queen in more than just name. Han Solo - I am weak for a scoundrel/villain/bad boy in a leather jacket, with a hardass, snarky exterior that hides a heart of gold. The reluctant hero.💙

____

Meet the other Thristies! Thirst Order Advent Calendar Day:

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16

cc: @tazwren @drnucleus @ashtyntaytertot @deadlikemoi @nite0wl29 @thereylowritingden @houseplaidam @housedadam @house-crylo @housereysistance @my-jedi-life @shestoolazytologin @koderenn @thoseindarkness @areylofan @lostinqueue-ffa @queenoferebor @cosmo-gonika @roguesinside @wilsonthinks66 @dangertaylor @lilia-ula @wandering-minds-found @looc-at-me @hopelesslyreylo @ferashacosplay @andabatae-writes @semperfidani @reylo-fade-to-grey @cb-lainey-schooled

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

Text

School Project | Janis & Jimmy

Asia: I literally can't find any songs from 1916 wtf 😟😞 what are we going to do??! Daniel: Did they even have radio then? Asia: idk let me google it 🤔 Daniel: pretty sure they didn't, some kind of teacher joke, like Asia: omg it's really old though look! Asia: [sends him a link about when radio was invented] Janis: yeah the songs don't have to be from the time Asia: ?? that sounds so fake are you sure? Janis: 'Create a soundtrack for a movie version of the 1916 Easter Rising. Use songs from any era and genre but they must describe the mood and/or details of the event. Explain why you feel that each song matches the event.' Jimmy: 👍 Asia: oh 👌 Janis: feel free to go 'round the pubs and ask if any of the old fellas remember decent rebel songs from the time Asia: OR there's literally been like TV about it we can just 👀 what they used Asia: like get Liam Neeson chatting away and put a 🎵 over it 🙄 Janis: I doubt RTE could afford decent royalties Janis: not at all offensive to put it to elevator music, like Daniel: yeah, me mam watched that, it was crap Jimmy: Let's face it, weren't gonna be a patch on Taken 3 Daniel: [sends the 'I will find you-' gif] Daniel: Classic Asia: [sends the Taken 3 soundtrack whatever that is] Jimmy: properly sets the scene that Janis: Wow, it's like they stole the plot verbatim Janis: Wonder if you're the first person to 👀 that, Asia Asia: I like haven't even seen the movie though Asia: I'll take your word for it, babes Asia: cos of course YOU have Janis: 🤯 your mind, babes Janis: ask Dan here, it's a classic Daniel: Truuuuu Asia: 💙 Liam but like I'm so adhd I can't even Jimmy: and here I thought we had something special, girl 💔 Asia: ??! Jimmy: don't trouble your beautiful 🧠 Daniel: 😏 we'll leave, yeah? Janis: Reckon they've got it covered Asia: OMG! 🤫🤫🤫 I've got a boyfriend, new boy, can you NOT Jimmy: 💔 obvs Jimmy: he is that you 👀 more of me than you do of him, but alright Janis: long as you channel that 💔 into your song choices, we'll all survive Janis: just Jimmy: 👍 Daniel: 🥧 Asia: 🙄🙄 Asia: wall to wall Taylor 💔😢🎵 any era of hers tbh Janis: yeah, London Boy would be well fitting Janis: what Taylor song is your favourite, Dan? Daniel: errm, I dunno Daniel: don't really rate her Asia: 😱😱😱😱 Janis: 😱😱😱😱😱 Janis: this is the level of dramatic we're aspiring to, lads Jimmy: if any lass would marry someone right before they get 💀💀💀 Janis: new take on the break-up song Jimmy: bad blood was obvs written with all this bollocks firmly in mind Jimmy: Katy Perry who Janis: she has a boyfriend, mate Janis: you've been told Asia: !!! Janis: v you belong with me, am I right Asia: don't encourage him ugh Jimmy: 💧🎸 Janis: 😏 Janis: babes, he's incorrigible Asia: is that a 1916 word? wow Janis: I'm method Jimmy: 💔 for you we ain't gotta do a 🎭 Janis: my lack of exposure is a tragedy for another day Daniel: what do we actually have to do though? Daniel: still don't get it Jimmy: 'Create a soundtrack for a movie version of the 1916 Easter Rising. Use songs from any era and genre but they must describe the mood and/or details of the event. Explain why you feel that each song matches the event.' Daniel: yeah thanks mate Daniel: Janis, you seem to get it, you come explain it to me so I can catch up with these 2 Asia: she's NEVER had a boyfriend, Dan 😉 Daniel: What's that got to do with anything, like Asia: 🤭🤭 okay boy we all 👀 you Daniel: Shut up, Asia Asia: RUDE Daniel: I'm just trying to get this done, but you've just made me more confused Asia: aw babes Asia: just pick some songs from your gym playlist Janis: I'll do it, send you copies, don't worry Jimmy: you're alright, I need to pass this Janis: Yeah, so do I Janis: and I don't need this Jimmy: I'll do it Jimmy: the rest of you piss off Janis: What do you even know about it Jimmy: You're a expert, are you? Janis: I've been here longer than 5 minutes Jimmy: dumb and dumber have an' all, they don't have a clue Asia: UM excuse you! be more bitter that I won't go out with you, new boy! Janis: Christ Janis: we can't have multiple versions or we'll fail for not working together Asia: duh so let's work together Janis: OR let the one person who actually gets it do it and you get to crayon your name on at the end, alright Jimmy: Now that's agreed, I'll crack on Janis: Yeah, 64 is a LOT of colours to pick from Janis: have fun Jimmy: so funny, you Jimmy: get a smaller pack, rich girl Jimmy: not everything needs to be a flex Janis: 12? Janis: Gutted for you Asia: Size matters though, babes Jimmy: that's why your boyfriend keeps chatting about your bra size, I get it now Jimmy: Tah babes Asia: what? Jimmy: you heard Janis: as you're all busy here Janis: I'm off to do this project Daniel: I'm not Daniel: you going library, I'll help Jimmy: you heard 'an all, girl Jimmy: you ain't doing nowt Janis: Not to repeat Asia, but you what Janis: And why not, Dan Janis: majority rules Asia: this is SO not cool I have 🔥💡 Janis: And I'm sure Jimmy wants to hear 'em all Janis: see who's playlist ends up better Asia: UGH Janis: no doubt you wanna be on my team so bad Asia: you're being so anti-feminist rn Janis: I don't wanna be on that team either, you're alright Asia: !!! JANIS Asia: you like have to Janis: you can report me to Gloria and co Asia: I'll report you to sir Janis: 😱😱😱😱 Asia: mhmmm that'll be your face when you fail Janis: you've got the most experience there Janis: and I've got valid reason not to work with you Asia: no you don't Asia: pms isn't a valid reason Janis: don't let the feminists hear you Asia: 😑 Janis: yeah, that's what I thought Janis: never mind the lads don't wanna work with you either, you ain't said shit to them, have you Janis: 👌 fake solidarity Asia: I don't need to pass anything this badly EVER 👋 Janis: Toodles Jimmy: Can we focus now you've had your domestic or what? Janis: 💔 sorry I finished what you started, loverboy Jimmy: wrong 🌳 weren't it? Janis: Oh, you like the tall one? Janis: Cool, let's focus Jimmy: 👍 Daniel: 🌁🦍 Jimmy: stop flirting with me, lad Jimmy: I get that I'm 💪 but we said we were gonna focus Daniel: Didn't know your taste in hench lasses went that far, but I'm good thanks 😬 Janis: this chat has been nothing but rejection, sad face Jimmy: I'm method an' all Jimmy: Getting the british to fuck off out of it was top, Dan if you need a hand with the whys and wherefores Janis: Imagine that Jimmy: Yeah, gutted you're just a rebel with no cause, sweetheart Janis: Truly, how much tragedy can I withstand Janis: tah for your concern Jimmy: don't keep us in suspense, Dan's got a proper head for figures Janis: so's Asia's lad, let's add him to the chat then Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: go on Janis: Dan, you keep up with what this one is called? Daniel: 🤷😂 Jimmy: throw a 📌 at the map Daniel: Dylann went out with her before but he dumped her 'cos she's psycho Daniel: pity the poor cunt Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: RIP our unknown and fallen brother Janis: we should do 16 songs, for the 16 executions Jimmy: And split it into days Jimmy: somehow Janis: That works Janis: Dan, you do the maths Jimmy: could be first two, middle two and last two, sir is obvs all about the vibe Janis: 👍 Janis: just avoid actual songs about it, 'cos all anyone is going to do is a google and throw them on, like Sir ain't heard the national anthem Jimmy: duh Janis: alright, Asia Janis: nice of you to join us, again Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 🤮 Jimmy: protesting a bit hard there, mate Jimmy: we get it, you're method Janis: you might but Dan asked for help Janis: just that nice Jimmy: 👌 Daniel: Now you've stopped talking about old popstars, I get it Janis: See? He gets it Janis: maybe throw in a couple Yankee rebel songs, some fucking Les Mis, yeah, show we do without being #basic Jimmy: A+ Janis: I told you Jimmy: I weren't listening Jimmy: soz Janis: saved yourself some 'work' if you had Janis: your loss, not mine Jimmy: I'll live Janis: 💔 it's not a play again Janis: it'd be great craic to kill you for extra credit Jimmy: have a word with sir, I reckon he'd be about it Janis: I will Janis: all teachers are sadists Jimmy: nowt I can't handle Janis: 🦍💘 Janis: we remember Jimmy: Dan ain't been able to stop thinking about it Janis: 🤤 or 🤮 Dan, what's the truth Daniel: Piss off, I've told new boy I don't fancy lads, or lasses that look like 'em Janis: He can't take a hint, babes Jimmy: I can barely read any of this, there's the truth for you Janis: Heard it does that Jimmy: you catholics Janis: You don't know we're Catholic Janis: RUDE! Jimmy: if it were me all along #plottwist Janis: save it for the play, kid Jimmy: 🤞 Jimmy: love that spotlight, me Janis: that's not a #plottwist Jimmy: if everything I said were, you wouldn't be shocked, girl Janis: know your audience, I guess Janis: know it's Sir, not me, like Jimmy: nah, he's got the rotten 🍅 already out Jimmy: it's the accent Janis: he's method as well Jimmy: lot of that going about Janis: yeah, everyone is well 🤮 over your accent Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: everyone's well 🎭 is what I meant Jimmy: but tah for that head's up Janis: you're telling me Jimmy: I just did do, yeah Janis: 👏 Jimmy: save that for opening night Janis: Not that nice Janis: maybe if you were as helpful as Dan here Jimmy: I get it, you've got your hands full giving him one Janis: 💔 show must go on Jimmy: 👍 Daniel: 'least we can get Asia to present to the class now Jimmy: 🥇 she'll do an' all Jimmy: *job Daniel: 😍😍 Jimmy: she's got a BOYFRIEND, Dan Jimmy: sort yourself out Daniel: 😒 Daniel: tell your face Jimmy: no need, you've done it for me Jimmy: Tah, my dear Daniel: you're so weird, new kid Jimmy: 💕 Daniel: I'll message you with any songs I find, okay Janis? Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [sends her some songs he's already thought of 'cause we know he's that bitch about music] Janis: [a long enough time to actually listen so you probably think she's not replying] Janis: Yeah, those are alright Janis: [sends own list of a few songs] Jimmy: [again actually listening to them] Jimmy: nowt wrong with them either Janis: so that's 7 down, 9 to go Janis: easy Jimmy: [sends one that he's not sure of so maybe she could find a cover version that sounds better or something cos teamwork baby] Jimmy: ? it's a bit Janis: know what you mean Janis: this [cover] is less ? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: That's alright Janis: we could do some kaiser chiefs or Franz Ferdinand for the WWI refs Jimmy: [songs by them that would work which I'm not googling] Jimmy: We need more lasses on here though Janis: 🥇 feminist, you Jimmy: piss off Janis: alright, I won't put in a good word for you with Asia, calm down Janis: [some punk ladies] Jimmy: she's got a tongue in her head and she never stops using it so you're alright Janis: So I hear Jimmy: and me Janis: Gutted, serious Jimmy: 💔🎻 Jimmy: [some different lady bops he likes better than whatever she suggested, bit rude] Janis: Those works too Jimmy: they work better Janis: How Janis: explain your whys and wherefores, tah Jimmy: lyrically Jimmy: in tone Jimmy: and with what else has made the list Janis: Way to be as vague as that prompt, boy Janis: you can have [this] and [that] but I want [this] from my list Jimmy: [a more specific rant about exactly why then because he's that bitch] Jimmy: you can have [song] and [song] from yours Jimmy: we should take out [song from earlier] Janis: Fine Janis: actually write some of that down though, you know Janis: not in this groupchat but where you can get your ⭐ Jimmy: ✔ Jimmy: [quick sketch he's done for like cover art number 1] or [2] ? Janis: I prefer the 2nd one Janis: looks more like an album cover to me Janis: though I like [an element of] in the first one so do that too Jimmy: [enough time to have passed that he can do a finished rough sketch of that] Jimmy: I'll chuck you the finished one to colour in, in a bit Jimmy: as you've got more crayons Janis: BCE Janis: don't reckon you'll want your masterpiece ruined Jimmy: if you don't wanna put the work in, I'll do it Janis: I'm just saying, I'm no artist Janis: I'll fake up an ad for a benefit concert, happy? Jimmy: Alright, calm down Janis: 🙄 Janis: whatever, take the compliment Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'cos why not? Jimmy: 1. you ain't my art teacher Jimmy: 2. who the fuck are you? Jimmy: 3. I don't want it Janis: 1. I didn't call you the next Lichtenstein, I just didn't say it was shit Janis: 2. literally irrelevant to working on this project and I'm not trying to tell you or ask who the fuck you are Janis: 3. Ignore it like a normal person then Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: Jesus, confirm stereotypes much Jimmy: Confirming or denying owt is irrelevant to this project an' all Janis: tell your face Jimmy: your boyfriend already tried that line Jimmy: didn't do nowt for him either Janis: That's it, that's the joke Jimmy: Nah, joke's that you paddys reckon you've got decent craic Janis: some of us prefer subverting stereotypes Jimmy: 👏🏆 Janis: [the poster ting and some more songs] Janis: that make 16 yet? Jimmy: [sends a few more himself] Jimmy: that does Janis: Hallelujah Janis: x4 that shit and give her a pronunciation guide Jimmy: 👍

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neptunecreek · 7 years

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Net Neutrality Won't Save Us if DRM is Baked Into the Web

Yesterday's record-smashing Net Neutrality day of action showed that the Internet's users care about an open playing field and don't want a handful of companies to decide what we can and can't do online.

Today, we should also think about other ways in which small numbers of companies, including net neutrality's biggest foes, are trying to gain the same kinds of control, with the same grave consequences for the open web. Exhibit A is baking digital rights management (DRM) into the web's standards.

ISPs that oppose effective net neutrality protections say that they've got the right to earn as much money as they can from their networks, and if people don't like it, they can just get their internet somewhere else. But of course, the lack of competition in network service means that most people can't do this.

Big entertainment companies -- some of whom are owned by big ISPs! -- say that because they can make more money if they can control your computer and get it to disobey you, they should be able to team up with browser vendors and standards bodies to make that a reality. If you don't like it, you can watch someone else's movies.

Like ISPs, entertainment companies think they can get away with this because they too have a kind of monopoly --copyright, which gives rightsholders the power to control many uses of their creative works. But just like the current FCC Title II rules that stop ISPs from flexing their muscle to the detriment of web users, copyright law places limits on the powers of copyright holders.

Copyright can stop you from starting a business to sell unlicensed copies of the studios' movies, but it couldn't stop Netflix from starting a business that mailed DVDs around for money; it couldn't stop Apple from selling you a computer that would "Rip, Mix, Burn" your copyrighted music, and it couldn't stop cable companies from starting businesses that retransmitted broadcasters' signals.

That competitive balance makes an important distinction between "breaking the law" (not allowed) and "rocking the boat" (totally allowed). Companies that want to rock the boat are allowed to enter the market with new, competitive offerings that go places the existing industry fears to tread, and so they discover new, unmapped and fertile territory for services and products that we come to love and depend on.

But overbroad and badly written laws like Section 1201 of the 1998 Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) upset this balance. DMCA 1201 bans tampering with DRM, even if you're only doing so to exercise the rights that Congress gave you as a user of copyrighted works. This means that media companies that bake DRM into the standards of the web get to decide what kinds of new products and services are allowed to enter the market, effectively banning others from adding new features to our media, even when those features have been declared legal by Congress.

ISPs are only profitable because there was an open Internet where new services could pop up, transforming the Internet from a technological curiosity into a necessity of life that hundreds of millions of Americans pay for. Now that the ISPs get steady revenue from our use of the net, they want network discrimination, which, like the discrimination used by DRM advocates, is an attempt to change "don't break the law" into "don't rock the boat" -- to force would-be competitors to play by the rules set by the cozy old guard.

For decades, activists struggled to get people to care about net neutrality, and their opponents from big telecom companies said, "people don't care, all they want is to get online, and that's what we give them." The once-quiet voices of net neutrality wonks have swelled into a chorus of people who realize that an open web was important to their future. As we saw yesterday, the public broadly demands protection for the open Internet.

Today, advocates for DRM say that "People don't care, all they want is to watch movies, and that's what we deliver." But there is an increasing realization that letting major movie studios tilt the playing field toward them and their preferred partners also endangers the web's future.

Don't take our word for it: last April, Professor Tim Wu, who coined the term "net neutrality" and is one of the world's foremost advocates for a neutral web, published an open letter to Tim Berners-Lee, inventor of the web and Director of the World Wide Web Consortium (W3C), where there is an ongoing effort to standardize DRM for the web.

In that letter, Wu wrote:

I think more thinking need be done about EME’s potential consequences for competition, both as between browsers, the major applications, and in ways unexpected. Control of chokepoints has always and will always be a fundamental challenge facing the Internet as we both know. That’s the principal concern of net neutrality, and has been a concern when it comes to browsers and their associated standards. It is not hard to recall how close Microsoft came, in the late 1990s and early 2000s, to gaining de facto control over the future of the web (and, frankly, the future) in its effort to gain an unsupervised monopoly over the browser market.

EME, of course, brings the anti-circumvention laws into play, and as you may know anti-circumvention laws have a history of being used for purposes different than the original intent (i.e., protecting content). For example, soon after it was released, the U.S. anti-circumvention law was quickly by manufacturers of inkjet printers and garage-door openers to try and block out aftermarket competitors (generic ink, and generic remote controls). The question is whether the W3C standard with an embedded DRM standard, EME, becomes a tool for suppressing competition in ways not expected.

This week, Berners-Lee made important and stirring contributions to the net neutrality debate, appearing in this outstanding Web Foundation video and explaining how anti-competitive actions by ISPs endanger the things that made the web so precious and transformative.

Last week, Berners-Lee disappointed activists who'd asked for a modest compromise on DRM at the W3C, one that would protect competition and use standards to promote the same level playing field we seek in our Net Neutrality campaigns. Yesterday, EFF announced that it would formally appeal Berners-Lee's decision to standardize DRM for the web without any protection for its neutrality. In the decades of the W3C's existence, there has never been a successful appeal to one of Berners-Lee's decisions.

The odds are long here -- the same massive corporations that oppose effective net neutrality protections also oppose protections against monopolization of the web through DRM, and they can outspend us by orders of magnitude. But we're doing it, and we're fighting to win. That's because, like Tim Berners-Lee, we love the web and believe it can only continue as a force for good if giant corporations don't get to decide what we can and can't do with it.

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