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#sorry. this sickness is new and has dragged on for 10 days and im ready to fistfight god and die in the process
barbietoiles · 5 months
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Yuri qtubbo save me......... Save me yuri qtubbo........
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nobutfredweasleytho · 3 years
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YOU JUST DON’T LISTEN(F.W)
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Summary: Fred’s ex girlfriend writes him a letter to explain the how him using her wrecked her emotionally.
Warnings: angst, like a lot of angst, depressed Y/N, mentions of self doubt, a little swearing, mentions of parents not loving correctly, used reader. Let me know if I missed anything.
A/N: Major thank you to Gabriella @onlyfreds for being an amazing person and encouraging me to write whatever this mess is. I am forever grateful to you
(The font is terrible Im sorry im just getting used to working on tumblr)
Fred Weasley checked the muggle clock on his nightstand. 10:30 AM. His mom will call him for breakfast anytime now. He has been awake for quite some time if he can even count the 30 minutes he tried to sleep but couldn’t, not when every time he tries to close his eyes his mind and eventually dreams are clouded by her. By the last time he looked at her, how devastated she looked, How her face was wet from her tears and her eyes bloodshot red, but the thing Fred will never be able to forget is her voice. How raw and vulnerable she sounded while saying the most horrible thing’s anyone has ever said to him, but he can’t blame her, he has no one to blame but himself because in the end it was he who caused all of this and now its come to bite him in the ass. He hears the door open and his twin brother George enters.
“Mom says breakfast is ready and she wants you downstairs. She says she’ll drag you herself if you don’t show up again today.”
“Tell her I’m not hungry and I’ll come grab a bite later.” I really don’t feel like being surrounded by other people right now. Not in this pathetic state I’m in. Besides it will take me willpower I don’t have to not hex Ron into oblivion.
“Well she will not take no for an answer and I wont either. What’s done is done now and you’ll have to face the world someday so start with your own family because everyone down there is worried sick about you and the least you can do is show your face once in a while so they know you haven’t died of starvation or sleep deprivation.” George has worry written all over him and I’m sure the rest of the family has it too. I feel even more like shit for worrying them.
“Fine. But I come back here if she is mentioned are we clear?”
“We weren’t gonna mention Y/N anyway now lets go moms worried sick for your dumbass.”
Breakfast was going smoothly with Ginny and Ron being exited for Quidditch season, Harry and Bill discussing the unfortunate events of the Triwizard tournament last year, dad asking Hermione about a rubber duck whatever that is, but the most shocking thing is mom asking me and George about the joke shop products. George is doing most of the talking but still the fact that shes even asking is awesome. I was finally feeling peaceful this whole winter break until I heard a hoot outside the window.
“I thought it was Tuesday but since mail is here does it mean its Friday already? Oh how fast time is going.
“No Arthur honey you are right it is Tuesday, Bill or George can one of you see if that owl has the owners name attached to it and bring whatever letter he has here to see who is it for.”
Bill got up from his seat and went to the window next to the countertop to look at the mystery owl. “Do we even know a Y/N Y/L/N?”
The room went quiet. The only thing that could be heard was the owls hoot asking for its treat. Bill seemed not to realise this as he took the letter from the owl, gave him a treat and sent it on its way.
“To Fred Weasley from Y/N Y/L/N… Who’s Y/N is she the girl you’ve been crying over this whole time huh Freddie?” Bill chuckled but I just grabbed the letter. I had no time to even be mad at him because once again my mind fogs up with only her. I couldn’t help but feel relieved and the happiest I felt in a long time. She has forgiven me. Y/N forgave me. That has to be it. Why else would she send me a letter?
“I had a great time with you guys but there’s important matters for me to attend so I have to go to now. Thanks mom the breakfast was amazing as always.” And with that I sprinted towards my room, locked the door and examined the letter in my hands. It was a bunch of them in here. I went to mine and George’s worktable threw some papers that were on top of it to make room for these letters and carefully opened the envelope.
The first thing that I grabbed was a photo. It was a polaroid of me and Y/N on the Gryffindor common room. Happiness filled my heart when I started remembering this night. I looked at the back of the polaroid and surely enough there was a writing on it.
Fred and Yn on the Gryffindor common room at 1 AM the night she turned 17. Listening to ABBA’s “Dancing Queen”. Picture taken by major 3rd wheel George Weasley.
Tears filled my eyes when I remember this night. It was the night I looked at her the way I always should have. Not as a replacement of someone who didn’t care about me.
The next one was also a polaroid photograph but this one I don’t remember being taken. It’s a picture of Y/N teaching me how to play the guitar. I can make up that we are in her dorm but not more as the picture is taken in black and white. I look at the back and surely this one also has a writing on it but the handwriting doesn’t look familiar at all.
A drunken Y/N accompanied by a even drunker Fred trying to play the guitar in the middle of the night. If I fail my charms exam tomorrow I’m killing you both but right now you two look adorable. Picture taken by Cho Chang.
The third one is an actual letter. I chuckle looking at the handwriting. Always so precise and not even one line out of place. I always thought Y/Ns handwriting always contradicts her hot headed persona but it’s actually really cute. I start reading the letter and my heart stops.
Dear Freddie,
I can only imagine the shock that receiving a letter from me would cause you right now especially after our last conversation.
But I have a lot to get off of my chest and I wont be able to move on if I haven’t said it all. Call me a coward but I was really scared to ask you to meet me so I can say it in person, but maybe that’s what I have always been. A coward. A coward because I get scared when someone wants to enter my life, a coward because I hate trying new things at the expense of failing, a coward because I should be able to confront people who brought darkness and sadness to my life.
But one thing I will admit Fred Weasley is that I wasn’t a coward when It came to loving you. It was the first time that I let someone come into my life and heart the way you did, and it will probably be the last. Throughout our “relationship” if you can even call it that as it was more of you customizing me to be her, to be someone I’m not. But that’s why you even talked to me is it, because I reminded you of her.
The signs were right in front of me and I feel stupid enough not to have seen them. But I guess people are right when they say love is blind. Love is such a funny thing to me as the first time I experienced the right kind of love was through you. But that was me creating stuff in my head. You didn’t love me no, you loved the idea of me. But I loved you. I loved you more than anything or anyone I have ever loved, I loved everything about you. But you just don’t listen. You don’t listen to anyone around you. Not George, not your other siblings, not Lee or any of your other friends for that matter, not your professors, but most importantly you don’t listen to me.
You didn’t listen when I told you that the love my parents gave me was only because I reminded them of my brother, the love my old friends back home gave me was one of interest. Everywhere I go no matter who I talk to no one will love me for me. I came to accept that until I met you.
You were funny and crazy and brave and oh so gorgeous. You were basically everything I looked for in… well everything. In a friend or in a partner it doesn’t matter. I thought you saw me for who I am. A broken teenager with issues but that at the end of the day was deserving of love. Oh how wrong I have been but no more wrong than you. You knew this but you just didn’t listen.
That makes us both horrible people now does it. Me who thought you were some kind of savior or some kind of saint and selfishly wrapped myself around your love and you who used me because I remind you of your ex girlfriend who broke your heart. But mine is excused I feel like and yours isn’t.
You would have kept me going for who knows how long just so you can live your imaginations you had for someone else.
Did you think about her the first time we slept together?
Was I not enough for you Freddie?
Was I too clingy too soon?
Is it my hot temper that gets the best of me?
So many questions will be left unanswered on my end because frankly, I never want to speak of you again. Sure I am deprived of love but I will not take it if its not directed directly at me.
I still care about you and will continue to support you and George on whatever you set your mind into. I was waking through Diagon Alley last week and saw this little store with a “for sale” sign. It’s right in the middle of Diagon Alley. I hate how my first thought went that you would have loved it but I seem to do that a lot recently.
I’ll get dressed and think would Fred love this skirt or this shirt.
I start applying lipstick and I’ll think will Fred love this color.
I start eating and I’ll think does this look good enough that Fred would’ve stolen a piece of it when I’m talking to Ginny.
I don’t even know why I am telling you this. How pathetic I’ve become clinging into someone that doesn’t want me.
Anyway I’ve probably bored you enough with my ranting but I wouldn’t have been able to move on unless I said everything that felt heavy on my heart. I also attached some photos I thought you’d like to keep seeing as now you can see yourself with Kayla without having the burden to be near me.
Say hi to your siblings and Harry for me.
Have a nice life,
Y/N
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unalivejournal · 3 years
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u mentioned only reading kripke era fic do you have a reclist 👀👀👀and if not could you link some of ur faves cuz the stuff that gets circulated the most right now is all like late late seasons fic and kripke era is my favorite too but im having trouble finding that many fics for it or even seasons 6-10 era which im fine with also. its just that like. the last five seasons were so bad that it makes fic generally worse too because people have to jump off of just Thee stupidest plot choices no matter how good their prose skills might be. but anyway yea if u have recs that would be awesome :)
hi anon i was thinking abt making a reclist and u just gave me the perfect excuse thank u
jess adamilligan’s kripke era fic recs
from making this ive learned that i never bookmark ANYTHING. sorry all of these r like….. 10k and under. i DO read longer fic but i don’t have any kripke era longfics bookmarked & tbh i prefer short oneshots
season one gen
disclaimer because it’s unfortunately needed: NONE of these are w*ncest! they’re all completely tagged as gen and i did not read them with the intent of consuming ship content.
Coaster Park by fogsrollingin, 10.4k, G, gen
Coaster Park had been experiencing an unusually high frequency of technical difficulties. Dean wouldn't have pulled a shift treating nauseated, heat-stroked, or dehydrated park-goers for that if he could've helped it, but when 'technical difficulties' were accompanied by rumors of things moving and stopping on their own in front of the operators' eyes, Dean had to throw down.
No historical tragedies or disasters in the area, ectoplasm, or EMF. Dean's only lead was a battered-looking kid that'd been coming to the park every day since it'd all started.
really interesting au fic! slightly ‘it’s a terrible life’. dean winchester is a hunter/EMT and sam wesson is a college kid destined to die on a roller coaster ride.
two basic motivating forces by sahwen, 7.8k, T, gen
He can’t cry, it’s not allowed; even as a child he was hushed into silence, whether his tears were from a long car ride or a late night or a raging fever. It’s never been an option, it’s never been an available outlet, and it’s not about to start being one just because he’s having an emotional breakdown on the bathroom floor.
Sam isn't only afraid of clowns.
BIG emetophobia tw (both for graphic depictions of nausea/vomiting and for the fact that this fic is about sam suffering from emetophobia) for this one but it’s my favorite sickfic. portrays anxiety over getting sick really well and is a fascinating examination of the different ways that sam’s fear of loss of control can manifest itself. also has lovely brothers content <3
Let’s Start at the Very Beginning (Remix of Just as Easy as 123) by nwspaprtaxis, 4k, T, gen
Dean’s functionally illiterate and Sam’s determined to remedy it...
PLEASE READ THIS ONE god it’s so sweet. dean never learned how to read properly due to his nomadic childhood and sam teaches him how.
dean/cas
Broadway Musical by Griftings, 9k, M, m/m
This is the day that marked the Holy and Blessed Union of Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle.
The merging of prominent bloodlines is always a grand occurrence, but breeding pedigree hunter families like Winchester and Harvelle is something to be rejoiced. It is also something to be meticulously planned, which thankfully the Host is very good at.
Or, the romantic comedy where Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle are destined to get married, Castiel is given the task of playing matchmaker and fails terribly, the entire Heavenly Host becomes a sitcom audience, God warns against male pregnancy, and Jimmy Novak is incredibly unimpressed with angels in general.
somewhat of a fandom classic and the humor holds up wonderfully. a very silly fic completed with commentary from angel radio throughout the entire thing.
Sappiest Season by dollsome, 2.7k, G, m/m
In which Dean and Cas have to stop an evil Christmas tree (like you do), and it requires a little fake couple action.
hilarious little s5ish fic. one of the first i read when getting back into spn. i don’t want to spoil anything but this is my favorite pick me up and i still giggle randomly whenever i think about it
The (Mostly Accidental) Courtship of Dean Winchester by tuesday
Angelic marriage rites were never intended to go quite like this.
another fandom classic. ik this one is recced a lot but how could i NOT include it. dean and cas get married (mostly by accident) and they’re huge cunts about it
the one thing in the galaxy god didn't have his eyes on by prufrock, 2.4k, T, gen + m/m
“Wait,” Dean says. “Let me get this right. You can fly, right—you can teleport—but you can’t drive a car?”
or, after the events of S5E03 "Free to Be You and Me," Dean teaches Cas to drive. Cas finds it stressful
im always a sucker for a good ftbyam fic. also i can’t drive so. resonation
So Says The Sword by komodobits, 85k, E, m/m
The briefing was simple: ‘Stand guard over the Michael Sword until the battle is ready to commence. Await further instructions.’
Castiel doesn’t mind working security duty; he was briefed shortly after the initial salvation of the Sword from the pit, and again before taking up his position. He knows what to do. However, it’s easy to forget that the green room isn’t real. Time moves differently there, the space ever-changing to make a prison of mountains, cathedrals, salt flats, orchards, and whatever Castiel was led to believe about Heaven’s greatest weapon—Dean Winchester is something entirely unexpected.
NO introduction neede. i think everyone on spntumblr has read this already but still. if you haven’t then i am demanding that you read it NOW. tbh i’m just adding this one so that i have at least one long fic here 😭
the weight by @myaimistrue, 3.5k, T, gen + m/m
“Do you…” Bobby sighs. “Listen, Dean, do you have something you wanna tell me?”
It’s the conversational equivalent of being punched in the stomach.
Or, Dean works through some things with Bobby's help.
WHEN I SAW THE USERNAME I GASPED I HAD NO IDEA THIS WAS U. anyway i Love coming out fics idk why i just do. the world is ending and dean comes out to bobby
canticles by 2street2car, 10.3k, T, m/m
“But you know something? If I couldn’t get you laid, at least I gave you a good first date.”
feat: footsies at a Ruby Tuesday, stargazing, the recreation of an iconic "Dirty Dancing" scene (no, not that one—the other one), and practicing for When You're With A Girl.
another ftbyam fic that skepticalfrog (i believe?) recommended a while back. made me feel at least 28 new emotions
Epilogue by JayneL, 28k, E, m/m
Bobby is here, swearing somewhere above and behind him; and Dean is here, talking about 2014 like it's a foreign country; and Sam is here, and is not Lucifer. Which means-- Bobby is here, swearing somewhere above and behind him; and Dean is here, talking about 2014 like it's a foreign country; and Sam is here, and is not Lucifer. Which means--
Cas is no longer when he was. Lucifer sent him back.
Coda to 'The End'.
2014 cas gets sent back to 2009, feelings ensue etc. i don’t remember all the details of this one bc it’s been a while but it’s really good
bonus
currently reading
Fragile As We Lie by perilously, 11k, E, f/f
Dragging Bela Talbot out of perdition isn't so much a decision as it is a frantic choice based on gut instinct. Her soul is bright, if fractured, and Anna yearns to do good again after the perversion of free will that immediately preceded her death.
Bela's no ordinary human, though; she's prickly and damaged and beautiful, and Anna doesn't want to leave her side. So maybe they can figure out how to navigate post-resurrection, post-Apocalypse-that-wasn't Earth together.
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hollowedwing · 3 years
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Isekai-ed into Hawk's Life
Hawks x gn!winged!Reader
Warnings: ⚠️ Death!(at very beginning, it is an isekai), mentions of death throughout, some angst(??maybe not yet??), slight cursing
THIS WILL NOT FOLLOW A SPECIFIC TIMELINE IN THE MANGA
(so sorry i just, love, love, the idea of having wings)
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(this is all my art, it is on IG, im just too embarrassed for people who know me irl to potentially find this xD Even though none of them have tumblr 👀 if you somehow recognize it...props to you?)
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tbh, I can’t decide if I want this to have more than 1 part. 
Word count: ~1,800
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You were on your way home from a long evening at your part time job. Before that you had already taken 2 finals that morning too.
You dragged your feet, exhausted, as you headed towards the crosswalk. Stopping at the edge as the traffic light turned green, you decided to pull out your phone and decided to watch a speed paint from your favorite artist who recently released a new video.
It just so happened it was a Hawks speed paint 👀
The light turned red and you slipped your phone into your pocket as your started to make your way across the street
little did you know this would be the last time you'd cross the street
A wild driver came barreling down the road, no regards for civilians or traffic lights, probably drunk or high or just someone out for blood.
You stood there like a deer caught in headlights as your life flashes before your eyes
You can barely comprehend what's happening as you felt pain engulf your body and suddenly you were unconscious
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Keigo tiredly stumbled into his large apartment, kicking off his shoes and shrugging his jacket off by the door
He wants nothing more than to just flop down and pass out. The HPSC has been giving him hell lately about god knows what.
He let out a long sigh and headed towards the bathroom to do his nightly routine
As he finishes up, he drags his feet towards his bed and flops down face first into the comfort of his pillow and sheets
Keigo falls asleep almost instantly after getting into a comfortable position, worn out from a long day of work
What he wasn't expecting was a loud "thud!" coming from the main room. He jolts up from his bed, feathers ready to attack.
*******
Reader's pov(?)
*******
You groaned as you hit the floor. Your head was spinning and it feels like a truck just hit you
oh wait...
You suddenly became more alert, looking around in a panic, expecting to either be on the road and injured or in a hospital of sorts. What you didn't expect was a wooden floor inside of a random apartment.
You felt around your body for any signs of injury, but all you found were a set of wings on your back- wings?? Hold up. Why did you feel wings what kind of sick joke was this?
Your thoughts were racing as your breathing picked up. What was happening? Didn't you just get hit by a vehicle? Why are there wings in your back? Where are you even?
Feeling around in your pockets, you found your phone and whipped it out, trying for anything. You turned it on, the harsh light of it illuminating your face, you tried to send a text to your best friend, but alas, it wouldn't go through. Actually nothing on your phone seemed to work. You checked your location settings, for some reason it said Musutafu, Japan.
Wasn't....Wasn't that the location that most of Boku no Hero Academia took place?? This can't be right, this has to be a dream right? There's no way that you could have actually ended up here unless...
Then it hit you.
You read your fair share of isekai series back when you were alive in your realm. Mostly manhwas of characters getting reborn into another person's body, but, never actually reincarnating as yourself into another world.
That was the only thing you could think of. You must have been reincarnated into the Boku no Hero Academia world. Except as yourself.
In all honesty, this is not how you thought you'd go out. You didn't know what to expect after death, but this definitely wasn't it. After all, this was a fictional setting, wasn't it?
Well, not anymore because now you're living in it! Smh.
That would also probably explain the wings on your back. This was you now. You have a bird quirk.
Now, all you have to do, is figure out where the heck you are.
Just as you are about to stand up, feathers zip towards you, pinning you to the ground
You hear footsteps begin to come towards you. You don't know if you should be scared for your life considering you've already died once or ecstatic because, you knew for a fact, this could be none other than Hawks' apartment.
The winged hero finally emerges and stares down at you, crossing his arms over his chest.
He says in a low, gravely voice from sleep, "Who are you, and how did you get into my home?" You stare back up at him and nervously chuckle.
"I'm not sure you'd believe me if I told you." You nervously sigh out.
"Try me." He demands, sounding a little more irritated now. You sigh in defeat and start to explain your situation.
"Do...do you know what an isekai is?" You said sheepishly while turning your gaze away from his. He kind of gave you a confused head tilt and just a vibe that said “No”. You sigh again and explain it to the best of your ability. Hawks becomes more and more interested and confused as you talk, but nods a long slowly. 
“So...you were reborn here, but as yourself? Wait- does that mean you died before!?” He asked, disbelief and fear ran through his eyes. You looked at him in bitter amusement.
“Apparently I did. The last thing I remember of my world was getting hit by some truck or car. The dude clearly did not know how to drive. I had the right of way I was pretty sure at least. I mean, the light was red, usually that means pedestrians can cross the street? And plus he was going wayyy over the speed limit,” you begin to ramble on, the reality of actually dying setting into you. Hawks noticed the panic beginning to set into you and released you from his feathers. He crouched down next to you and grabbed your shoulders gently.
"Hey, hey, hey, look at me, you're ok now, right? You're here, and not dying in the middle of the street still. You're here. In Musutafu," he said trying to calm you back to reality. Well, what was your new reality. Your mind was racing. Trying to put together a coherent thought. 
You look up to him, with a panicked look still in your eyes, thoughts started to come out of your mouth as your brain was trying to catch up with the situation. "I'm... I'm in Boku no Hero Academia and, and you’re Keigo... standing... right in front of me..I have wings. I have wings? Jeezus I have fucking wings. And I’m dead in my own world. I don’t know anyone, well, wait, technically, I do know people, just-Oh gods! I’m so sorry, that name slipped out! I- I, I’m really sorry Hawks." Even in your wild state, you noticed Hawks tense up at the sound of being called Keigo by a total stranger, and were able to get out an apology. That was progress? You were slowly coming back to reality.
Hawks froze up a bit at the sound of hearing his real name mentioned. At first he wasn't sure if he believed your tale of the isekai situation, but after this he might have to reconsider it. He opted to shake off that weird feeling for now and focus on different matters. 
" I-I don't know what I'm supposed to do now? I have nowhere to go or to stay. I'm in a whole different freaking universe! My phone doesn't even hardly work here. And I have a pair of wings on my back!" You puffed them out angrily. Hawks glanced behind you and his eyes widened a little. You in fact, did have a set of bird wings. Kind of owl like wings. Not near as big as Hawks', but definitely big enough to fly you around.
Before Hawks could process the words coming out of his mouth, he was already asking you, "Would you maybe like to stay with me? I can help with your quirk too." He glanced away awkwardly. You looked towards him in disbelief.
"Dude, are you sure? We literally just met like 10 minutes ago? I mean, I'm all for it, I have nowhere else to turn to, but if you really really don't want me here, I will politely step out of your life." You so badly wanted to accept his offer on the spot, but being the considerate, mostly sensible human you were, you gave him the option to back out. Hawks shook his head.
"No, no, it's alright. You can crash here. Uh- I mean- stay here! Sorry!" You giggled at his comment.
"Well thank you very much!"
"It's all good. I have a spare bedroom you can occupy for the time being. I'll give you some clothes to sleep in that'll hopefully fit. Accidentally bought a couple things in the wrong size without looking. " (a/n: just...just assume its your size, or oversized, whatever's comfy idk) He jumped up and headed towards his room to grab you the clothes. You still sat on the floor. Still amazed at everything that was occurring.
Hawks walked back into the room and tossed you the clothes. "Hey uh, you know, you can get up now, sorry for holding you down earlier.."
You blushed and scrambled to stand up, "Oh no! It's ok! I understand. This would definitely warrant that kind of action. Some random stranger crashes into your apartment at like 1am. I completely understand. Honest."
He let out a small laugh and wearily brushed his fingers through his hair. The adrenaline of everything finally wearing off. He could feel the tiredness setting into his aching muscles again. “Ah, well, I’m going to head to bed now. The room is down the hall at the very end that you can stay in. I’ll take you out training tomorrow evening if that’s alright?”
You gave a nod of understanding and followed him down the hallway. “Goodnight Hawks,” you sang as he walked into his bedroom. He gave a hum of acknowledgment and closed his door. 
Making it into what was now your room, you changed out of your clothes so fast, eager to rid yourself of the past hours events. 
Not gonna lie, you could not figure out how to properly get your new wings into the shirt, even with the holes and snaps in the back. Your mind was too exhausted to even process this new skill. So you ended up going to bed without the shirt on and just settled for putting the sweatpants on. 
You figured it’d be good to just pass out asap. You were sure if you tried to recount the recent events, you’d spiral into a panicked mess. 
You shut your eyes tightly, willing yourself to sleep, trying to only think of positive outcomes for the future. But to be honest, you didn’t know enough about anything in this realm to think rationally about anything good. 
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I prooobably didn’t proofread this as much as I should have
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smokahuntis · 3 years
Text
Weightless
Nothing Personal
Pairing: Javier peña x reader
Warnings: set last name, cursing, mentions of sex and death. Masterbation, night mares.
Summery: he embassy calls in a new agent to assist agents Peña and Murphy
Authors note: I’m back and I’m going to try and start a series! Based on the album Nothing Personal by All Time Low. This would be chapter one.
Word count: 3.4K
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Manage me, I’m a mess
“Agent (y/n) Carter” the ambassador said as she gave them the files “she will be joining, this is everything you need to know in her and she will be here later today.
Javier nodded as he picked up the file “of course, madam ambassador” he stood with a crooked grin and looked her over “and may I say, you look amazing in pink” he said softly and kindly. Steve just rolled his eyes and walked towards the door.
“Keep dreaming Peña” she shook her head and let them leave to review the file.
Turn a page, I’m a book half unread
“Agent Carter ” Javier handed Steve the file. “ ‘DEA’s finest’” he mocked and lit up his cigarette as he set back. Letting the smoke fill his lungs as he took a long drag of his Colombian cigarette. He watched Steve waiting for his opinion.
Steve only chuckled and set the papers down “I went to academy with her...” he said, javiers eyes lit up before he shook his head
“I didn’t mean-“
“We aren’t friends it okay” Steve chuckled.
I wanna be laughed at, laughed with, just because
“Oh- okay... okay...” pena leaned back again as the smoke clouded the humid air around them.
“She was always an overachiever, no one really liked her in my class” he chuckled and put the file away. “Way to smart to be choosing dea, but there she was. Didnt talk to anyone, didn’t let anyone talk to her.” He shrugged “I’d be surprised if she talked to us”
I wanna feel weightless and that should be enough
“So beware shes a bitch?” Javier chuckled and put his cigarette out
“Yep” Steve got up and grabbed his empty coffee cup. “Want a coffee?”
“Not from here...” he shook his head and got up.
“You know back home I always chose Colombian brew coffee, and now I’m in colombia and I don’t see why I thought it was good” Steve chuckled as they walked together to get a drink at the coffee place across the street.
“I’ve spend out money on more valuable things then coffee machines that aren’t from the 60s and beans that aren’t 2 years old” Javier joked and shook his head as they strutted the halls. They were such a duo, splitting them into a trio is a sin, but they’d have to get used to it.
Well I’m stuck in this fucking rut
Meanwhile back in LAX (y/n)’s brother tried to convince her it wasn’t worth it. “Colombia is dangerous right now, you could get killed- or- or worse!” Thomas said following her.
“What’s worse then dying?” She watched him with a bit of a cocky grin.
“You could end up like- like Kiki” he said without thinking before she grabbed her brothers collar roughly.
“You don’t say a damn word about Kiki... plus” she let him go and wiped her Dainty hand on her white button up. “After what the US did to the Sinaloa I think I’m safe from that” she sighed and kept walking.
“(Y/n) listen- please... I can’t loose my sister, not to- Pablo Escobar” he grabbed her hand. She turned and looked at him with upset eyes. “You’re all I have left...” he whispered
Waiting on a second-Hand pick-me-up
It was true, she was all he had left, dad was away over seas and mom was gone. Their oldest brother died years ago, it was just her and Thomas. But they were both adults now, she could do what she wanted, and she had been. But now she was a little worried for Thomas.
“I’ll call, and I’ll visit when I can, just go home Thomas... I’ll be okay” she said looking at him, before the warning for her flight went off, 10 minutes now. “I love you, I have to go” she hugged her younger brother before she left.
I’m getting over getting older
(Y/n) looked over her files on the plane, she knew it was a matter of time before escobar knew who she was so she didn’t hide it. She didn’t care, she knew he was almost untouchable. Almost.
(Y/n) had been all over for the DEA, her most frequented place however was Mexico. She worked in Mexico for a long time, she was young and stupid and she kinda thought it was the DEA’s way of getting rid of waste, expecting her to die at the hands of the Sinaloa. However she returned very much alive, and very much tearing open at the seems. She still has nightmares of her time there, but she didn’t care, she had to keep going, for him.
If I could just find the time
Javier set up the stuff in the meeting room before he made his way home for the night. His little two bit apartment given to him by the Embassy. It was nice, he knew that, but it always felt cold and empty, that’s why he filled it with girls, smoke, alcohol smells. It was like a fucking bar. He tried to not bring work home with him but he couldn’t help it most nights, things either bothered him to much or had to be done sooner then later. Some days he wanted to feel weightless, and those days he could escape the heavy burden of people lives depending on him. The ones he couldn’t save, or the ones he’s trying to save. He was trying so hard, but he couldn’t escape.
He needed air, that’s what it was. Right now when he felt his chest collapse on him, he needed aid, real air. So he was quick to make his way out the door and to the front steps of the apartment building, he almost didn’t see her. The (h/c) girl standing there at the steps with her bags. He almost took her out, but he stopped in time.
“I’m- im sorry uh- can I help you?” He asked clearing his throat as he looked at her. She pulled her hood off and looked up at him holding her bags close to her
Then I would never let another day go by
“This is the embassy apartments right?” She asked with a soft shivering smile. He was quick to answer, maybe to quick.
“Yea! Yea this is- this is them yea... you’re-“ he started but she cut him off.
“(Y/n) Carter, yes- hi- um- sorry I didn’t mean to cut you off I’m just tired and cold and really want to get inside. He nodded understanding, completely forgotting why he came out here as he looked into her eyes, illuminated by the yellow street lights behind him.
“I’ll show you to your apartment” he smiled and took her in, she was just across the hall from him. Her apartment identical in most ways, however her kitchen was bigger and so was her bathroom.
I’m over getting old
“Thank you, you must be Agent Peña” she smiled as he got the key from the leafy palm in the corner, unlocking her door for her.
“That I am” he smiled and helped with her bags. If he was going to be stuck with her he wanted to be nice. He didn’t want another agent, him and Steve were doing just on their own, but the embasssy expected things to be done instantly, but they are putting to many cooks in the kitchen.
“Thank you for helping, you didn’t need to” she smiled and set her bags down on the bed and looked at him.
“Of course” he smiled and set her things down with the rest. “So, we’re you invited or did you request to be transferred”
Maybe it’s not my weekend
(Y/n) looked at him and pushed hair behind her ears and shook her head. “I requested it actually, I requested it months ago really but-“
“Why would you want to be here? You know what’s happening-“
“That’s exactly why I want to be here” she stood straighter and looked at him. “You need all the help you can get it seems- and I understand if you don’t want me here because I’m a women”
“No! No no- no that isn’t it I promise” he said feeling a bit of his earlier panic come back, but it was only a little. “I don’t care you’re a women I’ve seen your file you’ve done amazing things but we were doing just fine without you...” Javier said looking at her, his hand up in defense.
“Then why did the embassy want me here ASAP?” She asked crossing her arms.
“Because they think we are stupid or something... they expect things done instantly and it’s impossible.” He explained. She nodded and sighed
“I understand that feeling. But I’m here to help... I promise” she looked at him as the moon light filtered threw her window
But it’s gonna be my year
He nodded and sighed “I’ll just let you get some sleep, I’ll see you at the office” he walked out of her room, giving her one last look as he smiled “goodnight Agent Carter” he walked out to his apartment again.
(Y/n) sighed and unpacked all she could tonight and took a few melatonin and went to sleep, trying to get on the schedule.
It wasn’t hard for her to get up in the morning, making her own coffee and getting ready early. She wanted to be there before them so she could go over things and get caught up. So getting ready quickly she tied her hair up in a tight ponytail and made her way to the office. She was always on time or early, wanting to get ahead of things or finish work so she didn’t have to bring things home.
I’m so sick of watching all the minutes pass as I go nowhere
Javier however, couldnt manage to get himself out of sleep. Stuck in a long nightmare that has his body aching and sweating to wake up but he was stuck there, in that spot in the sticky cotton sheets. He tossed and turned but al he could see was the blood, every scene he’d been to, it took a toll on him. He couldn’t help it anymore, couldn’t hold them back, couldn’t stay up and drink a shit ton of coffee and just keep going.
He was hurting himself even more trying to ignore it. He was lost in a sea of sound, until finally he woke up, alone and covered in a thin sheen of sweat.
“Fuck....” he shook his head and got out of bed, throwing his things in the wash before he got in the shower. He felt so exhausted from sleeping, that’s not right. He hated this constant feeling, it was so much. He couldn’t even escape at home. Seemed the only time he felt fine was when he was baring himself inside a women of the night and telling her how perfect she was, only to wake up alone and try to relive that moment in the shower by himself.
This is my reaction to everything I fear
It was no secret, Javier Peña was a ladies man. To get in the head of the cartel he slept with the same women as the cartel, did it work? Yes occasionally. But it wasn’t that anymore, it wasn’t just work, it was a form of escape now. Was he a sex addict? Yes, most definitely. Did he care? No, because it was release in more ways then one and that’s all he wanted.
He did have a talent tho, remembering every name, every face. Every women. He was a talented man. But right now that didn’t matter, what mattered to him in this moment was making himself feel weightless as hot water ran down his body. He was alone last night, after showing (y/n) her apartment he went home and to bed. So he had nothing to relieve, no face to see when he closed his eyes. Oh... how he was wrong.
Cause I’ve been going crazy, I don’t wanna waste another minute here
There she was, the beauty he met last night. (Y/n) carter. Why was she what he thought about right now? He just met her. She was his partner and he’d only see her face and hands, that’s not even enough for a weirdo to get off. But it was enough for him to wrap his hand around his throbbing cock and leaning his head back as he stroked himself.
His chest heaving and his eyes rolling back as he pumped his fat cock in his hand. Soft grunts escaped his mouth before the words left it “(y/n)... fuck...” he groaned.
He didn’t even know the girl and he was getting off in his shower to her.
This could be all that I’ve waited for
He didn’t know why he felt like this, but in his mind he had her on her knees, her lips wrapped around his tip as she took him down her little throat, just that image made him let out a loud moan. Soon his balls tightened and he was coming all over her face, and down the drain.
He shook his head as he opened his eyes and looked at the mess he made. Causing him to sigh heavily and clean up before he got dressed and ready, trying to get the idea out of his head. It was his first day with her, and he wanted to fuck her. Wow.
This could be everything I don’t wanna dream anymore
When he got there she was already liking over things, remembering faces and writing in her notebook. She looked peaceful there, just staring at a cork-board of killers and drug lords. He could tell quickly this is her environment.
“Hey” he said setting down his coffee and taking off his brown leather jacket. She turned with an other bright smiled and looked at him, her smile lit of the room and made his chest feel tight, but not like his panic the night before, this was warm and different.
“Hey” she said in her silk tone as she set her note book down. “ I hope you don’t mind I’m taking my own notes.”
“Not at all, whatever makes you comfortable” he smiled at her softly. At that moment Steve walked in with his own coffee and pen. He was way to quick to notice the look in javiers eyes, the interest he had in her.
“Thanks” she smiled before looking at Steve “Steve Murphy, wow... hi” she smiled and shook his hand.
“Hey Carter, it’s been awhile” he chuckled and shook her hand
“It’s been more then awhile” she smiled and looked up at him
Maybe it’s not my weekend, but it’s gonna be my year.
“Well it’s good to know we have a good agent on our team” he smiled. “So what are you working on”
“Just taking my own notes so I can memorize things faster and get caught up” she smiled at them.
“Oh did you color coat them too?” He asked a little to condescending. She sighed and caught on quickly but went on.
“No I did not. I’m not a preppy teenager.” She stated simply before walking back to take notes.
“While you do that we are going to go do real things okay?” He grabbed his coffe and walked out with Javier. (Y/n) was pretty used to sexist comments or people thinking she couldn’t do things so she brushed it off, however Javier didn’t.
I’m going crazy, I’m stuck in here
“What the hell was that?!” Javjer looked at Steve and closed the door as they got into their little office.
“What was what?” Steve asked and set his things down.
“You being an asshole to her, what did she do to you?” Javier said taking up for her.
“I don’t know Javier what’s up with you? Staring at her like you’re guess engagement ring sizes!” Steve argued, they argued way to often. Like a married couple really.
“I was not!” Javier scoffed “I can’t be nice to my new coworker?”
“Just yesterday you were dreading her! And now you have heart eyes all over her” Steve said
Maybe it’s not my weekend but it’s gonna be my year
“I don’t have heart eyes, I’m just looking at her, damn” he sat down and opened his earliest files and started work.
“I’m sure” Steve shook his head before starting to work.
Soon (y/n) made her way to the office and walked in and almost fell over with a heart attack “my god, how do you work in such mess” she asked looking around.
“Mess? I think it’s pretty clean” Steve said looking around
“The only clean place here is my desk and it’s still covered in papers. “ she looked at him and set her things down.
“ okay I’ll admit, it’s a bit messy, but we know whether everything is” he leaned back. Just as he said that, Peña who wasn’t paying attention spoke up.
“I can’t find that file from yesterday” he sighed, giving (y/n) the perfect example.
“See!” She looked at Steve.
“Okay fine, we could organize...” he sighed.
I’m so sick of watching am three minutes pass as I go nowhere
After hours of cleaning the office was organized and they found things much easier, so much quicker and efficient. So much so that Javier could ask
“Okay now I need the First Medellin file” he said softly and it was quickly put on his desk.
“See that’s not bad...” (y/n) smiled softly and looked between them.
“But we just wasted so much time doing that” Steve said
“But we are going to save so much more now that it’s organized” she crossed her arms. She was right, organizing the office was the best decision they’d made all year, it helped get things done faster and cleared their minds.
And this is my reaction to everything I fear.
It was a small thing, to organize the office, but when Javier got home he decided to clean the apartment too, washing the bed sheets and making everything up after. Cooking a meal instead of ordering. Just have a day of cleaning up and doing normal people things, it made him sleep better already. The nightmares had calmed down and everything was fine. He was peaceful for a moment, a minute, a few seconds. And then there it was, the scream that made (y/n) drop everything and go to his apartment, he left the door unlocked so it was easy for her to get in and get to his bed side instantly.
“Javier!” She said grabbing his shoulders and shaking him awake. He was starting to sweat again, just as she grabbed him, her touch alone calmed down the terror of his mind, causing him to wake.
“(Y/n)...” he whispered tiredly as he looked at her, she was in a robe, her hair wrapped loosely in a towel.
“Hey buddy” she smiled softly, trying to comfort him in anyway. She didn’t know anything about him but she wanted to try her best to make him feel better, to make him feel weightless.
“What are you doing here...” he asked laying back. She pushed his hair out of his face and massaged his scalp softly as she spoke.
“You screamed and I came as soon as I could... I thought something happened” she answered and watched him, he was gorgeous here, with the moon light covering his glistening chest, highlighting his face and messy hair.
“I’m sorry- I- I didn’t mean too” he said as he sighed.
“It’s okay... I understand... I used to do the same thing after Mexico” she admitted. They barely knew a damn thing but they both felt comfortable with each other.
“How did you get it to stop...” he asked
“Well I did go to therapy but it never seemed to help, so I did what I did as a kid, I get something to read and read till I can’t keep my eyes open, it makes your mind think on the topics of the book rather then the other mess...” she whispered and pulled his covers back over him. He nodded and smiled “I could read to you tonight if you want...”
“You don’t have to do that”
“I don’t mind... get comfy I’ll find something...” she smiled and went to get a book. His eyes trailed her long legs as she walked out to get a book, why did he feel so open and comfortable with her, he just met her.
Cause I’ve been going crazy, I don’t wanna waste a minute here
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Taglist: @thinemineours @morgannope @thisis-theway @onabouteverything @blxwjobsforclones @a-dorin @everythinggeeky
This will be a series I hope, so if you want to be tagged in this or more Javier peña stuff please let me know!
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defkooka · 5 years
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I KNEW | HENDERY
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Pairing: Hendery x Reader
Summary: You’ve always been by his side. You probably knew him better than he knew himself, but those forbidden feelings always lingered in the air. It just comes down to what you’re willing to do about them.
Word Count: 2.8K
Scenario: requested!!! prince!au, angst?, romanceee
A/N: okay so hendery is one of my wayv biases and i kinda, maybe, accidentally got carried away with this... but im not sorry hehe. also thank yo to the amazing person who requested this! i just kinda went with what my mind told me and it YELLED to do a prince au so here you are :) pls keep requesting i love reading your comments lol. 
NOT PROOFREAD YET
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“Do I look okay?” He asked as you finished buttoning the last of his shirt that stuck perfectly to his body. His black hair swooped to one side exposing his face that laid no imperfections, his two silver earrings that his parents were very against; but he still did during his ‘rebel’ days. You still laughed at the memory of him sitting in the chair, gripping your hand tightly as they put the needle through his earlobe. It was one of your happiest memories.
You slid the jacket over his shoulders and inspected it to make sure no thread was out of place. He ran his large hands over the soft fabric as he patted it down to get the wrinkles out and looked himself over.
“You always do my prince. Perfection.” You said as you backed up and watched his gaze meet yours through the giant mirror that took up most of the space in the giant white wall in his even bigger room. His bed laid a mess from you having to literally drag him out of it because he ‘refused to get up this early’. His words, not yours.
“You always say that. You kinda have too.” He chuckled and turned around to look at you better, he played with the silver rings on his hands as he did so. Something that he always did when he asked your honest opinion about something and he was anticipating your answer.
“It’s the truth prince Hendery. You’re the most handsome man I’ve ever seen.” You looked at him sincerely and gave him a small smile. It was true. He was the most handsome man you’ve ever seen. Ever since you were kids, Hendery has always been the apple of your eye and nothing in this world could change that. 
Henderys family had been in reign for years. His great grandfathers crown passing on to his grandfather, then passing it on to his dad; and soon to him. They were royalty at it’s finest, and also the kindest people you have ever met. Not like your typical spoiled kings and queens.
Then there was your family. They served his family for generations, your mother growing up along is father and taking care of all his needs, meals, clothing, anything. She was his guide through life, making sure he made all the right decisions as king and being his support system. Like his adviser.
Now it was your turn to do the same thing with Hendery. 
You two played along side one another growing up, instantly becoming the best of friends; You two were inseparable. You took naps together, played together, and even went as far as eating every meal together. You two were even closer than ever during your teenage years, you were there for everything. His first day of high school, his first kiss, first girlfriend, and first heartbreak. You were always the one that was left to take his heart and mend it back together, making him smile and hope for better days. And along the way; you fell in love with him.
You would think that spending so much time with someone will eventually make you sick of being around them. But it was the opposite with Hendery; it made you crave more of him. You wanted to be there for every smile, every laugh, every tear, and every time he was angry. But you knew you couldn't. 
He had to get married soon, to someone on his level. Not the right-handed woman. You meant to guide him through his life, to make sure he was making the correct decisions. Not love him.
Henderys loud laugh brought you back to reality as he rolled his eyes and took a seat on his chair, slouching down even though you have constantly told him to fix his posture.
“I don’t wanna goo!” He whined for what felt like the thousandth time in the last 20 minutes.
“Well too bad. You have too, you’re dad wants you to meet the princess.” You felt a sting in your heart as the words left your mouth. Even the thought of Hendery getting engaged, and then married to one of the princesses almost brought tears to your eyes. 
You knew. 
You knew that one day it will eventually happen, and that you would have to stand right there and watch it all pass in front of you and not being able to do anything about it. It scared you, but at the same time it was your fault for feeling this way. 
No one said that you had to fall in love with the prince. It was a mistake you committed and now there was no turning back from it.
“I don’t want to meet any princesses. I have one right here.” He grabbed your wrist that was absentmindedly folding the mess of clothes that laid on his bedroom floor. Blood rushed to your face making your cheeks turn a bright red. You shook your head and scoffed to try to hide the dramatic red of you cheeks and turned to keep doing your task.
“You and I both know I ain’t no princess.” You laughed and placed the clothes neatly on the side of his bed.
“You are to me.” You heard him say from across the room and you felt your heart sting once again. In a good and bad way.
“Come on. We have to head downstairs now.” You made your way to the door and waited until you heard his footsteps behind you to continue to the dining area of the palace.
“What do you think she’ll look like?” He nervously asked as he walked next to you. Hendery was never the one to do good around new people he meets, he tends to get shy around new people even through his humorous personality.
“She’s probably really pretty.” You blurbed out. Every time he had a dinner with his parents and another family you always got nervous. It meant that he was getting introduced to another princess that he’ll perhaps marry. You prayed that every time there was always something about them that Hendery didn’t like. And its been working up to this point. 
But you knew it was wrong. The one thing that you wanted most in this world was for Hendery to be happy, even if it wasn’t with you. 
But you couldn’t help the anticipation that creeped up your neck every time he came back and ranted to you about how he didn’t like the princess personality, or how awkward the whole dinner was without you there. You knew it was wrong, but you still did it.
“Please don’t make me go in there along.” He clinged onto your arm like a kid. Your body tensed and you turned to look up at his big brown eyes that captivated you. Hendery could feel how tense you were under his grip and he quickly let you go as he furrowed his eyebrows and looked over your face.
“Are you okay? You’re very tense today.” He looked at you with worry in his big eyes and you almost melted at that look. 
“I-I’m fine. You don’t have to worry about me.” You assured him and nodded as you grabbed his arm and finished leading him to the big ball room where the dinner was being held.
You stopped right before the big silver doors and turned towards him to see him biting his lip and messing with hands.
“Are you nervous?” 
His eyes snapped down at you for a second and they snapped back back towards the big doors before he answered. “A little. I know I’m not gonna merry. I’m still not ready for this whole marriage thing, but I just have a bad feeling about this.” 
“Its okay, don’t be nervous. Everything will be fine my prince. Just remember I’ll be waiting upstairs as soon as that clock strikes 10. You can get through this dinner just as you got through the rest Hendery.” You gave him an encouraging look as you too stared at each other for a few seconds longer than usual.
All of the sudden you felt him pull you into a tight embrace as he snuggled his head between the crook of your neck. You have hugged Hendery dozens of time, but this time it felt different. Like this hug held every piece of emotion he had and just wanted to share it all with you.
“Thank you Y/N. I wonder how the hell am I going to get through life without you here by my side. I love you.” He whispered the last part into your hair as he slowly pulled away and held your stare for a little longer, before letting your body go and heading inside the bright ballroom.
You were left standing dumbfounded as his words. Hendery always shares his appreciation for you every chance he gets. But not like this. It’s usually a casual ‘Thank you” or a ‘Couldn’t have done without you’. But this time even though it wasn’t very long, it felt like he just spilled his heart out to you with every word that left his mouth
You blinked a couple of times before snapping yourself out of your daydream and before someone caught you staring off into space like an idiot.
It would be a long time for the dinner to be over so you decided to make your way up to your room and catch some rest before you met up with Hendery.
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What was just ‘resting your eyes’, turned into long hours of you snoring your life away. By the time you woke up it was already past midnight; which meant that Henderys dinner ended hours ago. 
He was probably off looking for you and soon gave up after not finding you, you thought.
It was probably too late to go wake him up so he can tell you everything about the dinner, so you decided to get up and go get yourself a cup of water.
You opened your door and silently made your way through the long corridors of the enormous palace. You passed by Henderys room and felt curious of to what he’s up too. He’s definitely sleeping so I shouldn't bother him.
You hurriedly went to the kitchen and got yourself a glass of water and quickly came back up. 
On nights like these the castle was quiet, all the staffs were exhausting and went right to bed knowing that they had to get up during early hours in the morning. But these were the most peaceful of nights. You and Hendery would sneak off and watch the stars when you were teens in complete silence, stealing quiet glances at each other. Those were the days you were careless and didn't care about ‘rules’, you just enjoyed spending time with him and being around him.
You passed by Henderys room once again and the urge to open his door just to watch his sleeping figure surged back up. This time you didn't stop yourself from slowly and quietly opening the door to his pitch black room, the only source of light was the bright moon that shone through his window, outlining his silhouette that sat up on the edge his bed.
He refused to have curtains in his room, saying that “natural light was the best kind of light and it helps me photosynthesize”. Again. His words, not yours.
A quiet sob came from where he was sitting up on his bed, his hands covering his face as his shoulders bounced up and down. Your ears perk up at the sound of his sobs that almost broke your heart. You silently closed the door behind you and the sobs stopped. He automatically knew it was you in his room, since you were the only one who can come in without knocking.
“My prince, whats wrong?” You almost ran towards his bed, quickly dropping to your knees in front of him and holding his wrists trying to pry them from his face.
“I-I can’t d-do it.” He said between sobs. Hendery hated to cry in front of people, especially you. He thought that if people witnessed him cry; they would view him as weak. And if hes weak, they would think he isn’t ready to take the thrown.
“Hendery, what happened?” You sat next to him and brought his head to rest against your shoulder as he silently cried; letting out quiet sobs every once and awhile
You stopped asking him questions after a lack of responses from him and just let him cry on your shoulder. You ran your fingers through his black hair, letting them gently massage his scalp; which through the years you learned that it helps to relax him.
After a few minutes he finally calmed down and just stayed there, face buried between your hair and neck.
“Hendery, please tell me whats happening. It’s the only way I can help you.” You lifted his face out of your shoulder and held it between your hands like it was the most precious thing in this world.
“There’s nothing you can do. So whats the point?” He coldly replied. You watched the dry tears on his cheek, his eyes red and puffy, and his hair a mess from probably constantly running his hands through it.
“What happened down there? Please tell me.” Your eyes begged for him to open up to you and finally tell you what was so bad that has led him to crying; which is something that never happens.
“They married me off to her. They didn’t ask me. They just handed me over like some worthless possession. They want me to just get married to a person I hardly know? Without even thinking about my feelings?” he spoke almost as if he was talking to himself.
You felt your heart drop to the pit of your stomach, feeling as if the walls are just crashing down on you. The blood in your veins ran cold, and you held in every tear that was threatening to spill out because this wasn’t about you. It was about him.
He took your silence as a cue to keep going, “They said they’ve given me enough time to pick, that coronation is coming up and I need to be married now.” He looked down at his hands that laid on his lap, intertwined with yours.
“I-I” You couldn’t find the right words to say as millions of emotions and thoughts came into your body as fast as they left.
“You know, I always dreamed that the girl I got to marry was you.” His words made you snap your head up and looked at him with disbelief. “Since I was little and I proposed to you that day at the playground with a stupid candy ring; I always knew-” He paused as another hot tear rolled down his cheek. He caught his breath before starting to speak again.
“I knew that you were the girl I wanted to get down on one knee for. You were the girl I wanted to rule this kingdom with. You were the girl I wanted to have kids with and grow old together. I always wanted it to be you.” Tears were now rolling down your face as you stared at him.
“Why are you waiting until now to tell me this? Right before you’re about to get married.” You looked at him through teary eyes and watched as he silently looked over every feature on your face with full adoration in his eyes.
“Because I cant have you thinking that I never loved you. That I didn’t spend nights awake just waiting until the next morning for you to burst into my room and drag me out of bed.” He laughed and you chuckled as the tears kept flowing, soon enough it would be a pool of tears in here.
“I want to marry you. And only you.” You stared at each other as silence fell in the dark room, but soon enough realization started to hit you.
“You can’t marry me Hendery.” The look on his face fell when he heard the words that left your mouth. “You’re meant to be a king. I’m just there to take care of you. What will people think when they find out that you married the adviser?” You looked at him with sad eyes and tried to pull your hands from the tight grip on his lap, but failed because he just ended up holding them tighter.
“Does it look like I care what people think? I fell in love with YOU. I didn’t fall for the amount of money you have, or what family you come from. Its always been you.” He let one of his hands come up to caress the side of your face and you couldn’t help but lean into his gentle touch.
“I don’t want you to regret this.” Your other hand came up to hold the one that laid on your cheek and ran your thump over the top of his hand, feeling the softness of his skin.
“Trust me, the only thing I ever regret doing is not telling you this any sooner.” A smile came upon his features as he looked from your lips to your eyes; asking for permission.
You slowly leaned in and he met you half way. Your lips slowly melted into one another in a soft gently kiss. He leaned away to look you in the eyes. “I love you so much” He whispered against your lips.
 “I love you too” You replied before he closed the gap once again and rejoined your lips into a more passionate kiss as your lips danced against one another.
You knew. You always knew that he was the one made for you.
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A/N: This story was actually pretty decent i’m not gonna lie. Definitely doing a part 2 to this in the future ;)
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edgeofmyniall · 5 years
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masterlist
this isn’t edited bc i have a migraine and i only just finished this. so im sorry my bad dawg, but let me know what you think.
I spent the entire day scrolling through social media instead of talking to Niall. Occasionally, he would make a comment, but mostly we rode while listening to the radio. There were no singing outbursts or talking to get to know each other- just us not talking so we wouldn’t talk about our “almost kiss”. Something I dreamt about last night.
It replayed in my mind over and over until I woke for the day. Our lips almost touching, almost knowing how they feel against each other. Our skin shivering and our chests rising and falling as we try to catch a breath. The way his fingers felt against my wet skin, his nails digging into my back as if he was begging me to become closer to him. Like he actually wanted me.
We had a moment. One speck of time that was ours that no one can share or take away. Something I can’t get back. Something deep down I know that Niall regrets.
We pass through towns that I won’t remember, but our moment- that wrinkle in time will be etched in my brain under my Niall folder. We stop around lunch at a local diner, but we hardly say a word to each other. I catch Niall looking over his menu at me, but he quickly looks away. His lips are pressed into a hard line, like he’s forcing himself not to talk. Almost as if him not mentioning what happened between us is killing him on the inside. The waitress takes our order and I, for the life of me, can’t figure out why Niall keeps looking at me like he’s trying to figure what he’s looking at.
“Can you take a picture already? It’ll last longer.” I jolt, my voice cuts through the air, sharp and unjaded like a sword. His mouth hangs open a little. That was all that was said between us until we stopped at the family Bed-N-Breakfast in the cold town of Bend, Oregon.
It was cold, wet, and raining. Very cold. One could probably be used to this weather if they were accustomed to it, but I’m not. I like the hot, humid weather with the sun shining down on me. I hated the cold. I hated how you could never get warm, but in Bend, I never thought I would I learn to love the cold.
The older lady, maybe in her late fifties, greeted us as Niall opened the door. Her bright and cheery smile warmed up my cheeks which were now rosy due to the wind chill. I tucked my hair behind my ear and settled for a small smile. Niall looks at the lady and says we have rooms here for the night. I pay no mind to him as I notice the pictures of children and families posing for the camera lined along the walls. Each family was quite different from the other. Some had two parents and children, some had one parent, others had only a couple.
“What’s with the pictures?” I ask as the lady hands Niall the room keys.
“Well, dear, I’m glad you asked,” her voice flows through the air. She’s so soft and welcoming. “Everyone who stays with us gets to go on the wall. You may never remember staying here, but we want to cherish each person who has come into our lives. So we’ll get your picture tomorrow morning.” She smiles as Niall hands me the key. Our rooms are right beside each other. I wanted to as far away from Niall as I could. The farther apart I am, the better off I’ll be. The less of a mess I am, the better the song will be. Because deep down, I know that once we finish the song, it’ll be over. I’ll be just another girl to him. Just another one of the desperates that he only texts for a night in.
But it’s like the universe wants us to be together. And I don’t know why. First the motel, and now this.
This.
As I turn the key inside the door, I feel Niall’s hand drag along the curve of my back. I look up and it seems like he doesn’t know what he just did. That he doesn’t know a million bolts of electricity are jumping through my body or that my stomach is in knots. That my head is spinning and I feel like I’m floating through air when I’m around him. That he doesn’t make me feel like a rock. I feel alive. I feel confident. I feel wanted.
I'm seeing stars as I open up the door. I quickly close the only barrier between me and Niall. The only thing stopping me from kissing him is the metal lock on the door. I run my hands through my hair and close my eyes. I still see Niall’s plump lips pouting for me. My dripping wet hair tangled onto his bare chest- the way my legs wrapped around his waist so easily in the pool water. Our shivering bodies trying to stay warm.
This all has to be a dream. No one in their right mind could want me like that.
If he only knew.
I lay across the foot of the bed when I feel the slight buzz come from my back pocket. I pull my phone out and there is a text from Sylvia.
“Thought you might want to get a leg up on this.”
I click the link and it brings up an article from The Sun. There in all of our “after morning almost kiss” glory was a picture of Niall and I standing by his car outside the motel this morning. The picture is fuzzy but you can’t deny who is in the capture. I read through the article- I’m numb to every word that is used against me. I’ve been hearing it since my childhood, but this...this time it’s different. Each word cuts me like a knife opening a wound.
Seems like ex-boyband member has found a new love interest. The plus size daughter of Ashley Diana was seen leaving Sacramento Inn with Niall Horan this morning. Could it be a new fling, or has Niall finally gave Townes the attention she wants? Sources claim that the couple spent the night in one room together, but were caught practically making out in the pool. Must be the cold air that has given Townes the chills.
There in all of my wet glory was a picture of me waiting for Niall to open the door last night. The Sun had blurred out my nipples, thank God, but I can’t help but feel so embarrassed.
Maybe Niall is finally figuring out that bigger girls are better. Another source claims that they are working on a new single for Townes’ up and coming sequel album that we hope will do better than her last, Escape. Do you all remember that one? Neither do we!
I shouldn’t, but I read the comments.
She could have killed Niall being on top of him like that.
She should know better than this!
Get off Niall, you fat whale.
I exit out of the article. I try to stop the tears, but there’s no use fighting them. I’ve been called a lot of things, but this is a first of being a fat whale. I text Sylvia thanks and I tell her to have a plane ticket ready. I look at the time and it’s nearing 10 p.m. and I feel the sudden exhaustion from riding all day. How can one be so tired from doing nothing all day?
I did do something. I tried forgetting the way Niall makes me feel. How his touch sends fire through my body. How my skin burns for his lips. I tried fighting against myself, and I failed. If there is one thing I have learned from this trip is that Niall makes me feel alive.
I quickly dress myself in my pajama shorts and an old tshirt from my high school. The faint scent of him catches my attention. It must be a daydream because no one is here. This shirt has been washed too many times for his cologne to still linger. I refuse to let that part of me in.
I climb into bed, feeling the warmth of the blanket on top of me when I hear a soft knock on the door.
In my heart, I know who it is, and for once I wish I’m right.
I am.
The door slowly creaks when I open it and there are the pair of sea blue eyes I couldn’t get out of my head staring back at me. He smiles sweetly and for a moment, I don’t feel upset.
“Ya okay? Read the article.” I nod my head.I’m anything but okay. “Don’t seem okay. Can I come in?”
Niall coming in could be a lot of things. He could come in and we talk. Talk about us, the article, what almost happened between us, about the trip, or hell we could talk about anything but us. It could lead to us calling off the trip. It could end up with the both of our naked bodies tangled in my bed for the night. It could end up with me finally opening up to someone about my past. Letting him in could do a lot more damage than I want, and in all certainty I’m not sure that’s what I want.
But I do. I let him in. I open the door just enough to let his body slide past mine. He’s in nothing but his boxer briefs when the moonlight from the window hits him. He sits himself down on the spot where I body was previously occupying, and he taps his hand on the spot of the bend next to him. I lock the door and I feel my thighs jiggle as I take every step. My stomach bounces and I can all but keep myself from crying. He doesn’t want me.
“How ya feeling? Dan Wooten is dick. Pretty sure he jacks it off to his mom,” Niall’s trying to make me feel better, but all I want to do is crawl under the covers and forget the world exists.
“I’m used to it,” I say my voice is cold like the air in the room. I shiver from the lack of clothes I’m wearing. I cross my arms across my chest to help cover my nipples which are poking out at the moment. “Been called a lot worse before.”
Silence fell between us like a blanketed curtain covering up the truth. It wasn’t awkward or weird, just forced like every time I have to interview with someone. But it’s too much for Niall to handle.
“Don’t think yer a fat whale. If ya were a whale, ya be a blue whale. They’re the biggest whale-oh fuck!Not-Not saying that you’re big or too big for me. Um they’re quite beautiful actually. They’re very graceful despite being so large. Uh shit, what was the other one? Oh yeah, they always move even when they’re asleep. Quite cool. Not that I just looked them up or anyting. For fuck’s sake, I was tryin’ to make ya feel better, and I called ya a whale. Way to go Horan.” Niall’s attempt to make me feel better is awkward, and charming. His word vomit sends a warm, fuzzy feeling that begins to burn in my stomach.
“You looked them up right after the article, didn’t you?” I nudge him with my elbow. A smile spreads across my face like a sickness. And Niall is the virus.
“Yeah, I did.” He sheepishly rubs the back of his neck with his hand after I exposed his secret. He half laughs as he nudges back, but unlike me, he rests his hand on my thigh. His fingertips pulsate against my skin and I feel like all but setting myself on fire. I can’t stop looking at his hand, the way it smoothly lays across my thigh that is much too big for him. It’s like my thigh is the Pacific ocean and his hand is a lone sailboat. I sigh, remembering how I felt last night when Niall almost kissed me. It felt like a dream.
But it wasn’t. It was reality. For a sheer moment, Niall wanted me, even if he didn’t mean for it to happen. It was real for me.
Niall rests his forehead against my ear. His breath send shivers down my spine and goosebumps along my skin. My breathing hitches as I try to find air. Niall has knocked the wind out of me by a single touch.
��I think yer beautiful just the way ya are.” Niall whispers, and my head spins. Everything I’ve done, fighting myself and fighting off Niall has been for nothing. I’ve done myself no good pushing him off when all I want is him pulling me in. “Yer me whale.”
I turn my head in, resting my forehead on his.His blue eyes lock into my brown ones I hate how addicted I’ve become to Niall. He has consumed my thoughts and all he’s done is make me feel like I’m an actual person. For a moment, I forget why Niall even came in my room in the first place. I forget that I’m not what people think I am. The only thing on my mind is that Niall is next to me and he just called me his whale.
I shake from the cold, at least that’s what I’m assuming. Niall’s hands wrap around my body and pull me on top of him. He throws the covers over our bodies and I feel the warmth of Niall’s body escape to mine. I fall off Niall and lay my head in the crook of his arm. He must have only taken a shower before he read the article because he smells of fresh aftershave. Niall tucks my hair behind my ear and I look up to him. He sits up on his elbow, making my head slide down his arm. This is the moment I’ve been dreaming of over and over. He plants a gentle kiss on my forehead before peppering me with kisses down my nose. My lips part as I kiss his chin, feeling the rough patch of his beard on my nose. His lips met mine and I feel the warm slick of his mouth as he opens mine with his tongue. He begs for entrance, and I let him in. He cups around my cheek, setting my skin on fire as his tongue rolls over mine. He drags my lower lip with his teeth as he pulls up for air. I reach up and push the tendrils of hair out of his face. He kisses my wrist gently, and smiles.
We lay in bed half the night kissing each other until our lips are raw. When I fall asleep, I thank God for cold weather.
I wake to find my bed empty except for a breakfast tray of chocolate chip pancakes with a side of peanut butter. I reach for my phone and I see a text from Niall.
“Gone to get some coffee. Be back soon.”
I smile as I begin to paste the spread over the pancakes. With each bite, I fill up with the thoughts of last night consuming me. It isn’t until I finish showering that Niall returns.
He walks into the room bearing two cups of hot coffee and I’m standing there in my bra and underwear. His eyes go wide as I stand frozen in the room. He can see me and all my flaws, all of my stretch marks, lumps, and handles. He sees it all, and he’s taking it in for whatever it’s worth. Niall quickly pulls the two cups of coffee up to his eyes as I scramble around for the cream sweater I layed out. I pull the turtleneck over my head and quickly tug at my jeans. Once dressed, I take the cup of coffee from Niall.
“Thank you,” I say for both the coffee and for hiding his eyes.
“Shoulda knocked. How was breakfast?” He’s looking everywhere but me.
“Good. Think we should get going. Don’t want the lady to think we’re makin’ babies or anything.” OH MY GOD. I did not just say that. I pull my hair into a ponytail and grab my bags, not pay any attention to Niall. We make our way to the lobby and the lady insists on taking a picture. Niall and I set our bags down and stand beside each other, our arms intertwined at our backs. The lady pulls out an old polaroid camera and as I smile, she clicks the button to make the flash appear.
“Let’s get another one. This one is best for you two.” She smiles as she begins to wave the picture through the air. I hold on to the white plastic and smile again-Niall’s grip tightens.
It isn’t until Niall packs our luggage into the trunk when I see the picture. Niall is looking down at me as he smiles. Like he’s enjoying my presence. Like he actually might like me. No wonder the lady said we were better off with this one. I place the picture on the dash, right under the gas gage.
When Niall climbs in, he smiles and grabs my hand after he turns out of the driveway. The rain still patters against the windshield, and for once I am thankful for the rain.
“Off to the cabins.” And I never felt more alive.
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Never Caught A Feeling This Hard
request: Can you write a Snape x hufflepuff student scenario when idk(female) reader hates him and she just tries to ignore his attitude but when he once again takes points from her house, she just snaps at him. And she leaves the classroom and tries to ignore him as long as possible. Please make it really angsty and sad cause I love having my heart broken. But a fluffy ending x3 if you're comfortable I'd appreciate a heated kiss but if you're not then a confession from both parties is ok☆
Summary: while your almost an expert at potions, your friend Y/F/N isnt that bright with the subject. When Professor Snape yells at your friend and takes points away from their house, you being a Y/H, stand up to Snape and tell him off. Flabberghasted at your outburst, he only follows you with his eyes as you storm out of the classroom. While Y/F/N thanks you, they say Snape requested to see you. Embarrassed at your show in front of the class, you refuse to see him and change your seat to the back with Y/F/N. When Yule Ball comes around, your last one ever at Hogwarts, Snape decides its the right time to approach you. Feelings are revealed with angst but happy ending.
note: yuhh another posty lyric, this was a request so dont hesitate to send some in! im sorry this is a bit late, i got a summer sickness/cold and ive slept the entire day away. anyways, enjoy!
warnings: ill come back to this when im done, like one curse word and teacher x student relationship
6-28-18
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Grabbing your potions textbook, you and Y/F/N made ways to Professor Snape’s classroom. Throughout your years, even before coming to Hogwarts, potions had become your best subject and some even told you that you were better than Hermione. She had even been amazed at your brewing skills.
You friend Y/F/N, on the other hand, wasn’t as gifted with potions as you were. However, her charming skills superb. But with Snape being such a hard-ass teacher, it was tough to get help or even a ‘good job’ from the man.
Heading into the classroom, you and Y/F/N sat up front as always. You had always liked sitting front and center, wanting to show you teachers you were there to learn. You assumed it was because you were a Y/H.
Snape swiftly walked into the classroom, shutting the windows behind him. Today was like any other day, except he mentioned the day before that your class would be learning a tougher potion; Veritaserum.
Walking up to the front of the class, everyone got quiet. Snape nodded, ”if you listen carefully to today’s lesson. . .I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death — if you aren’t as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach.”
At that, you let out a snort of laughter. Snape met your eyes and a small smile formed, gone as quick as it appeared. The professor then turned his attention to the class, telling them what to grab and to open their textbook pages to 394.
Glancing to Y/F/N, you smiled, “I’ll get your book ready and you can get both of us ingredients, yeah?” They nodded, writing down the ingredients and rushing off to get them.
Coming back, you grabbed your own ingredients from your friends shared part of the table. “Thanks for getting them Y/F/N,” you said, making them nod to you.
Reading the book, you set your cauldron to the required heat and crushed some ingredients together. After waiting a few minutes, you put in the materials and stirred, waiting for the potion to turn green. You noticed Snape walk past your table and tap against a vile of liquid, then tapping your arm. Letting out an “ahh,” you put the vile in.
Next was kind of a blur. A tiny explosion next to you had occurred and the sound hurt your ear. Y/F/N laid on the floor, rubbing their head. “Hey,” you said, rushing to their side, “you ok?” They nodded, “yeah. . .I don’t know why that happened?”
You pulled them up to their chair again, “doesn’t matter as long as you-”
Snape had slammed his hands on the desk, “what the hell were you thinking?”
You friend retreated back, “I-I’m sorry sir, I h-honestly don’t k-know what I did wrong.”
The professor scoffed, “of course you didn’t, you ignorant child. 10 points from Ravenclaw.”
You scowled, “sir! They made an honest mistake, we all do! Any other student here would have made the same mistake, so leave them alone. You never have any consideration for any os us; we are learning this class, not experts. Some excel more than others, but we all are experiencing this for the first time. So please sir, lay off.”
With that, you grabbed your bag and shuffled out of the room, leaving a wake of wide eyes behind you. Snape followed your figure with his eyes, unable to believe that you, his favorite student, had just caused a scene by picking a fight with him. He grumbled when you left, “get back to work.”
After your outburst at your favorite professor, you decided to head back to the Y/H commonroom. You failed to notice that class had ended and Y/F/N walked into the room. “Hey,” they started, “I’m not supposed to be in here but thanks for sticking up to Snape. I appreciate it. . .but he told me to tell you that he wants to see you.”
You nodded, “right, well. .no probelm, Y/F/N. He was being so out of line. Though I’m not sure if I want to face him. Thanks for telling me, though.” They nodded their head and walked out, going to their next class. You assumed you should get to class, too.
The next day, you had potions first which made you happy but also very gloomy. You were getting the worst class over and done with, but first of the day? Pass. Heading into class, you grab Y/F/N’s hand and drag them to the way back before Professor Snape walks inside. Pushing your hair to the side, you hide your face and rest a hand on the side of your head when Snape walks by you.
You and him did not look at one another the entire class, only focusing on your new potion to make;  Amortentia the love potion. You and Y/F/N already knew it was an easy class, having made the potion aside from class before.
You both did everything right and Snape added 5 points to each of your houses for having been done first. You didn’t give the professor a second glance, just nodding at his words of encouragement. Y/F/N gave you a small smile, but continued to write down notes for a reminder of what different potions consist.
Finally, it was the night of the Yule Ball, your last one ever. Cedric Diggory asked you to be his date and of course you said yes. Grabbing Y/F/N and some other Y/H pals, you wandered through Diagon Alley and past Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes, waving to Fred and George from outside. They waved for you to come inside and you sighed but smiled.
The twins went up to both sides of your face, each giving you a kiss on the cheek, “hello gorgeous!” You laughed, “hello, hello. Now what do you hooligans want?”
Fred handed you a bottle of Amortentia as him and George talked, “a bottle of love,” George then whispered, “for Professor Snape.”
You jumped back and let out a fake laugh, “ha! As if. . .seriously though, what do you want?”
The twins looked to one another then back at you, “no joke, little lady. We’ve seen the way you look at him.”
Just then, Ron came up to the brothers and you on the stairs, “how much for this?”
Fred and George looked at the item, “5 gallons.”
Ron chuckled, “how much for me?”
With that, the two taller boys nodded again, “5 gallons.”
You let out a laugh as Ron looked offended, “Y/N! But, I’m your brother.”
Fred and George shrugged, “10 gallons.” The twins then walked off, leaving Ron confused and you staring at the love potion in the bottle.
Getting your dress, you decided on a long red sleeveless dress which had light ruffles at the bottom and small parkles over it. There was a bow that went across the middle and you fell in love.
It seemed different putting it on, having the potion given by your favorite twins in your bag. You pulled it out and sniffed it, noticing it smelled like Professor Snape; bitterness and old shoes with a spiff of charcoal. Appealing, really.
Walking into the ball with Cedric, he hooked his arm with yours. You smiled at each other and he kissed the top of your head like a good friend would. Throughout the night, you both stayed together until you went off to go to the bathroom. However, before you could reach the bathroom, a hand pulled you behind a large column.
You gasped and your eyes met anothers; Severus Snape’s. You furrowed your brows, “professor? What?”
Snape pulled at your waist and rested a hand at the side of your head, “you. . .pest! You’ve infested my head with images and thoughts of you, just you, and I cannot stop.”
Your eyes squinted at Snape’s words, “what the hell! Wha - what do you mean. . .Severus?”
The professor’s eyes wandered along your face, stopping at your lips, “I. .I love you. And you’re my student. Stay after the party, I want to see you again.” With that, he walked away and left you by the column. You headed back to your table with Cedric and spent the night with him until he decided to head to bed.
“Goodnight, Y/N. . .thank you for being my date,” Cedric said, making you smile.
You gave a bright smile as you kissed his cheek, “thank you for asking me. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Every person had left by now, Professor McGonagall saying her goodnights to you. Smiling, you saw Snape appear out of the shadows, “may I have this dance?”
You nodded, “of course.” Snape offered his hand and you accepted it, standing up and resting a hand on his shoulder and his on your waist. Your other hands joined together, dancing together.
After dancing to the sound of nothing, you both stood by the window, looking out among the land of Hogwarts. You smiled at Severus, “it’s a perfect night. . .for us.”
Snape gripped your waist, kissing your cheek lovingly, “it is, indeed. I wish we could have this. . .forever.”
You looked up at him, glancing at his lips, “we can. When I graduate, it won’t matter.”
He rubbed his thumb along your waist that was covered by the dress, “you could have someone your age, who you desire.”
Putting a hand to his cheek, you shifted his face towards yours, “you are all I desire, Severus. Only you.”
He leaned down, capturing your lips with his, “if that is what you desire, so be it.”
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pavle-fredfox-blog · 6 years
Text
The 4th wall breaking Missadventures of the 55189th
                               World 2687 “Lunaris I”
Location :site *****
Leutenant Pavle“The Emperial forces are struggling to take the location.We are going in to take one of the rebel HQ’s.Wish us luck”.
Commander Alexander “Where is the back up unit”.
Soilder “Sir they were ordered by RC 15 to take out a key position”.
Explosions go out in the distance and a mech the size of an elephant falls from the sky.
???? “GOD DAMIT, they have anti-mech systems.I will try and regroup with...”
Leutenant Pavle“Negative private stay there and try helping the push a little.”
RC15 “Remember i want the leading officers Alive”*comunications cut out for 2 seconds*”your punishment for failure will be severe this time,and no explosives until the taget is secured.”.
Leutenant Pavle “OK squad split up me and 3 of you to the right,4 go straight,and 4 go right,the rest decide where to go”just as he said that 25 anti-mech turrets pop out and shoot down 15 out of the 20 squad members (counting those that made it there).
“Ok change of plans we will all take out these turrets and slowly try one way after the other.Also we will go from the left to the right and then throu middle”.
The 5518 mech corp squad a was wondering for about an hour throu the whole sector and ended up destroying enouf of the hq that the rebels had to retreat.the commanding officers mostly escaped except for the few that were eather injured,captured or sleaping.The victory at the HQ forced the rebels to reatreat about 10 kilomiter’s and for them to thin out their line a bit.    
Leutenant Pavle “Ok men lets go party,i hope that HQ dosen’St change the plans in the last second”
RC15 “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Willian Shakespeare right???.Oh and you were are right about that we changed the plan.The enemy has a communication’s outpost 150 Killometers here,if you capture it we can  try to encircle the enemy force in this region.”
Leutenant Pavle”Wow your on fire today commander.Also woud it not be easier if you just used your magic to whipe them off the face off the universe.”
RC15”Eh im to lazy to do it,Plus i have to manage the rest of the front”.
Leutenant Pavle “Well you heard her LETS GO I DONT WANT TO GET US EXECUTED FOR TREASON.Also will we get any reainforcements,we are kinda low on men.”
RC15 “Not my problem”.
Leutenant Pavle “Great,i hope the reward wont be a day off like last time”.
                           Operation Starnberg
Leutenant Pavle”After the order was given out we were teleported to the location,We rushed to end it....”
Corporal Volnus “Sir the enemy has 8 Anti-Mech Batteries (one battery is one Artilery gun), 2 on every side.It looks like its the main Communication tower “ *Communications cut off*
Leutenant Pavle “CORPORAL VOLNUS..REPORT IN WHAT IS HAPPPENING.CORPORAL JOVAN WHAT IS HAPPPENING REPORT IN................I HATE PLOT ARMOUR...SORRY PILOT ARMOUR”
RC15 “Jeez calm down its just corporal Volnus a lazy son of a **** and that guy from earth Jovan.Now take out the communications or i will”
A light started shining so bright that it was seen across the system
A loud scream was heard across the system
“I WHO SHALL AWAKEN HAVE AGREED TO LEND MY DRAGONLY POWER,THOSE WHO HEAR THIS SHALL KNOW MY NAME,I AM INTURION.SCREAM MY NAME IN PAIN AS I GRANT REVENGE ON THOSE WHOM I SEE FIT TO DIE.LETS GO ,YOUR TRAIN TO PURGATORY AWAITS.So call my name scream INTURION!!!!!!!!!”.
Screams coud be heard across the system,as Leutenant Pavle started to become deformed,His body slowly turned into a mix of a dragon and a human.During the entire time he screamed “I am the one who calls upon this anchent power,oh holy dragon awaken at the sound of my scream for INTURION I SUMMON YOU”
                                          2 mounths later
Leutenant Pavle “ I remember waking up outside of my mech surrounded by a field of dead people coloured red both me and the corpses.One of my arms had “Scream my name and i shall grant you power.But i shall take your life force away.Every hour shall become a year with my power” writen on it.
The doctors started to remove him from the healing equipment when a man rushed into the room.He carried a letter that was signed by RC15.
Pavle opened the letter,it said :
Congratulations on your promotion General Pavle,You not only managed to take out the enemy leadership and their communications but also 15025 rebel soilders,2500 Anti-Mech batteries,250 Mech’s and also destroyed a Usnik class dreadnough.You shall become leader of the new 55189TH Extermination Force or better known as EF.”
I remember that he cried when he read that and then he said “I WONT GET BOSSED AROUND YES”.
The doctors laughed at that and then he said “i forgot to tell you you have an order to go to your army and train the soilders.Also they want you to get an special unit to go with you.You coud call them the Black blood battalion,i mean i hope you find who blead black just like you did 2 mounths ago”.
General Pavle “That is how the name of our Battalion came to be.There was another battalion like that,I cant remember the name,let me ask the guy who created the timeline.”.
                             END RECORDING
                                                              RECORDING .....
General Pavle”The training of the Black Blood Batalion is going great.It sucks that i must also manage the Extermination Force.Well i guess i better get to training i heard there may be new recruits coming soon.But it is not certain until the Maze ends.Today is 2 years from operation Starnberg and 2 years from death of my best friends and comrades Steff Sergeant Jovan and high sergeant Volnus.”
He looked sadly with a bit of anger,you coud see the flames in his eyes ready to become reality.He scremed the name Inturion after and imagined himself ripping RC15 to shreads.That all got out “SO TELL ME HOW ARE YOU SLEAPING EASY,HOW ARE YOU ONLY THINKING OF YOURSELF.SHOW ME HOW DA F**** DO YOU JUSTIFY TELLING ALL YOUR LIES LIKE SECOND NATURE” RC19 heard that and replied “OK SHUT THE FUCK UP IM LISTENING TO A GUY BEING TOTURED IF YOU DONT SHUT UP YOUR NEXT”
General Pavle “Listen mark my words one day one day YOU WILL PAY YOU WILL PAY.Karma’s gonna come collect your dept (sais RC15 silently)”
RC19 “SHUT THE F*** UP LAST WARNING”
General Pavle”Also one thing,when is the next maze??”
RC3 “Next cicle and you better shut up i don’t want RC19 to get you frst *smiles*”
General Pavle “Thanks RC3 but i just want to ask how much time do i have to run??”
RC3 “5”
General Pavle “THANKS NOW BYE”
He ran like no person did before.He was able to run away from RC3 for a good 10 seconds,then he triped and fell off the hill and was about to fall into the torture chaimbers
General Pavle “FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU”
RC3 “OH YES”
It was at this moment Pavle knew he fucked up,so he pulled a pistol out and said “I always was a peace of s**** and if i coud, i woud kill myself,but its elegal OUCH with OUCH all of the read coats”.
And then he pulled the trigger to see his clip was empty, and then he saw a big as f*** rock heading for his face, he coud hear in the distance
You guess what happened next.He barely dodged the rock but fell into the chambers hitting his manly bits on a covenietly placed “steel mat that had sharp bits” and he screamed in pain so much that RC19 took her headphones off and started dancing to it.RC3 stoped and started laughing.
General Pavle “I...guess if im gonna die like this,then i will say this NOW WE ARE ALL SONS OF BITCHES”
RC3 “He knows he wont die and will just be healed right??
General Pavle “JUST LET ME DIE YOU SICK F***.I hate my life,i hate everything. You sick twisted F***”
RC3 “Who are you talking to???.Eh never mind you know what will happen”
General Pavle “I hate myself right now i wish that the mind eraser is going to be manufactured soon”
                                                     2 Hours later
General Pavle “Welp thanks for that doc.i realy hope RC3 wont stay here for a long time”
Random medic “Dont worry she wont.but you are an unluck guy.Your being sent off to a far off planet  with RC35 to take out a mayor rebel stronghold.It is rumoured that a person who can fight Read Coats is there”
General Pavle “Welp i guess its good to move away from this place...it reminds me of operation Starnberg.I lost all of my best friends and comrades in the frst 15 minutes of the mission”
Commander Wilhelm “Well i guess im not the only poor bastard assigned to that planet.I lost about 15 houndred men in the frst 30 minutes”.
He said that with a small anger in his voice.He looked at General Pavle and said “I know what you have been throu,RC15 was my commander too.She forced us to deploy behind enemy lines and try to take their commander.It is to bad she put the coordinates to be in a minefield 200 Kilometers away from the location.It was also near their artillery corp. so i lost most of my battalion in there just to end up getting there with 15 men.Out of which only me and 2 others survived”
General Pavle “You know if i didn’t lose anything i loved and cared for i woud have had a different reaction.For now i coud not care less”
RC15 “Hate me,YOU CANT ESCAPE ME and you are NEVER gonna change me”
General Pavle “Shut up IM DONE TAKING YOUR SHIT.LEAVE ME ALONE OK,I DONT WANT TO SEE YOU UNLESS IM FORCED TO “
RC15 “WELL FUCK YOU”
Suddenly 15 red lights start flashing around General Pavle.He noticed it and barely escaped the houndreds of red chains coming out of the light.RC15 scremed at him “BE A GOOD BOY AND DIE LIKE YOUR FRIENDS VOLNUS AND JOVAN”.Pavle screamed at her to shut up.But she kept repeating it until...
General Pavle “I Who shall awaken am the Banished dragon.I am the one who laughs at the Red Coats,i Greave when i see the Blue Caps.I shall become one of the 3 Great Dragon’s Inturion.I shall drag you to the void for your judgement.”
He screamed out loud to summon him cause the dragon’s can say nah bruh
“ INTURION”
A light shined,as bright as a star.A voice called out a name.But the only reply was
“I am Inturion and the unification has just begun.I shall punish you for thy sins and then i will get a little vacation”.Pavles body started to change shape,as an armour made of purple appeared on him.The arour looked similar toa medival knight,While having a crusader-ish helmet.
The station shaked like there was an earthquake.In a millisecond Pavle travelled 500 meters and hit RC15.I will call her by her name from now on.The name is Isidora
Isidora was able to barely dodge it.She hit Pavle in the chest,he did not shake at all.He punched her in the face.Her shield broke and Isidora got thrown 50 meters back just to hit a wall.About 25 red lights the size of a normal person’s head pop up above Pavle.2 THOUSAND chains come crashing down chasing him throu the room.Pavle charges throu the door breaking it.He runs off heading to the Hangar,Isidora chases him there constantly summoning thousands of shains that chase him.Each time one of those gets close enouf to him he dodges it.It took them 10 seconds to travel 150 kilometers from the medical bay to the hangar.RC3 was preparing to leave when she saw what is happening she joined in.The fight got bloodier.The entire fight Isidora screamed
“DIE LIKE THE REST”
the entire time.Pavle Screamed back
“I fight for what i feel is right.You know if i don’t then WHO will fight for what is right,who is gonna fight for the weak.AND IF IT COMES TO IT TONIGHT I WILL BE READY TO DIE”.
After he said that a big Purple light started to go out of his eye,he pushed RC3  away she hit a wall 200 meters away from the fight.The crew that was in the hangar was shocked some one coud stand up to red coats,none of them tought it was possible to defeat one of them but two was a thing they tought only the god can do.He jumped back 50 meters,while also screaming “DJOLE I SUMMON YOUR BLADE TO SMITE JUDGEMENT” .A blade of purple light 15 meters long.It took Isidora                    15 Nanoseconds to attack him.He blocked her and kicked her back 55 meters.He sliced off her thumb at the same time.RC3 jumped and kicked him in the face,he tried to punch her but she dodged,then Isidiora punched him between his legs.There was no Dragon armour on that bit.He screamed so loud that the entire ship heard him scream
“DONT PUNCH THERE”.He kicked her in the head and knocked her out.A red light the size of a person poped up above Pavle.RC3 kicked Pavle in the face and 2 TONS of chains fall on him.Pavle falls unconcus,his body reshaping to how it was before the battle,His armour disappeared,after the chains cleared out,RC3 started to laugh and she said “Welp looks like he almost killed you RC15,”
RC15 “He....woud have succeded if you did not join in”.
RC3 “Well i guess i was not wrong about him.
            200 Years later on station X-55189
Pavle wakes up hearing a siren and he hears a voice.”Coution The Inturion is waking up!!!”.
Pavle opens his eyes and hears “Are you sure he is alive,i don’t want to lose my rating i healed 20 thousands soilders.I WONT LET MY RATING GET RUINED BY ONE GUY WHO IS IN A COMA FOR 200 YEARS.Now let me do my job”. He uses his magic glowing eye to try blinding Pavle while yelling “WAKE THE F*** UP AS****”.
Pavle wakes up and said” STOP IT”
Dock stitches sais “Great thing you woke up after 200 years i guess??.I got a list of things to tell you.
1st from the Read Coats GET THE F*** WORK
2nd from grand admiral GET THE F*** TO WORK
3rd  from most soilders i met HOW are you
4th from RC3 you ok??
5th  from i donno who but it sais that RC15 is not to blame for the death of Volnus and Jovan.
And now there is 5 minutes till the mission begins now get ready and lets go.meet you on the field”
General Pavle “IS RC3 near me??”
Stitches “no she is not even in the station”
General Pavle “YES YES YES”
Stitches “she is in a transport shuttle docking in the room next to you”
General Pavle “FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU”.
Pavle hears RC3 coming to the room,and he asks Stitches
General Pavle” PLEASE HELP ME DONT LET HER CATCH ME”
Stitches “ You have to go on a mission so i suggest you just put this on and run into the hangar bay and prepare for the mission”
Stitches hears a sound of doors breaking.RC3  asks “Is he up alredy”.Stitches starts running to the hangar,gets into his titan and drops down ,while falling he talks  to Pavle saying “You know your not the squad leader anymore”.Pavle responds by saying  “SORRY I CANT HEAR PEAPLE TALKING ABOUT THEIR AUTHORITY.
       THE END OF CHAPTER 1
GENERAL PAVLE “ IS HE REALY GONNA END IT LIKE THAT”
      Planet 559986 “Lucifor”
Location : Site 26
General Pavle “So what happened in the period of 200 years in which i overslept”
Mayor Boris “Nothing much,the rebellion got annihilated and RC15 got her thumb back after you cut it out,RC3 has killed 50 peaple who semed similar to you.And she is the one who asked that you don’t get killed”
Pavle hears Stitches screaming “ Dont give General Pavle ANYTHING.You know you shoud remove anything that can kill,AND ASK A READCOAT TO BE ON STANDBY IF HE TRIES TO LEAVE”.A random soilder asks “Why don’t we just send him to the front”.Stitches replies “DO YOU KNOW ABOUT FRIENDLY FIRE,THIS ISNT A GAME,HE CAN STILL SHOT PEAPLE ON OUR TEAM”.Stitche’s titan asks “Why don’t we just take his guns???.Stitches “Becose i am not an enginer and im not sure i can find a enginer who can remake a titan out off thin air”.Then a soilder ask “Why do you think that will happen “
Stitches said “My eye lets me see magic that people posses.And i am getting sick loking at him.DO YOU KNOW THAT HE ALMOUST KILLED RC3 AND RC15??.PLUS THOSE WEAPONS ARE OF HIS DEAD FRIENDS.IF YOU WANT TO BECOME AIR THAN GO AHEAD”.
A rebel platoon broke throu the lines and got to the camp,one of them shot at the tent General Pavle’s tent.He shot one of the few things one of the few gifts he had from his dead comrades.That was the last straw.
RC3 is currently doing paperwork on her ship,she gets a call.She looks to see its from Stitches.She answers it and sais “OK WHY ARE YOU INTERU..”.The call ended,she heard a loud scream from the planet.She tought it was some one being burned in the planets volcano that was nearby,which had direct communication lines with her.She then heard a loud shout
“OH BANISHED DRAGON,THE ONE WHO GIVES DEVINE PUNISHMENT.THY SHALL AWAKEN FROM THY SLUMBER.JUSTICE SHALL BE SERVED FOR WE ARE DONE DREAMING THE CENTURIES LONG DREAM.INTURION PRIMUS.”
Pavle’s body started to reshape,His fist reshaped into a human-dragon hybrid, and strong enouf to kill a person.His legs became a mix of human and dragon.His armour Was purple,with a mix of glass and steel being used in his helmet to both protect his eyes and improve his eyesight.That material was used to make cube shaped glasses near his eyes.The rest of his armour was made of unknown material.The armour was coloured in a drak shade of purple.The eye part was coloured crimson red.
Back on the ship RC3 is boarding a shuttle to get to the planet.Everyone on the ship told her not to go.Even the pilot refused to fly her down there.She ended up sending the pilot to her private torture chaimbers,then she used her magic powers to fly down.She travelled 1500 kilometers in 10 seconds.She came just to hear him say the final words of the phrase.
General Pavle “I WHO SHALL AWAKEN AM THE EMPEROR THAT FELL FROM THE VOID’S GRACE.I AM THE ONE WHO BRINGS  JUDGEMENT.I AM THIS DIMENSIONS FRST EMPEROR.I CAME TO SHOW THAT  I AM STILL ALIVE,AND NOW BY THY LAW I SHALL SEND YOU TO THE DEPEST SECTOR OF MY PURGATORY.A PLACE WHERE LIGHT DOSENT SHINE,A PLACE WHERE DEATH DOSENT SHOW UP,A PLACE WHICH THE GODS DONT DARE MENTION.A PLACE WHERE ONLY THE VOID LORD CAN ROAM.AND MY PERSONAL REALM.FOR I AM INTURION PRIMUS”.
A purple light started to shine.The rebels started to run.The entire camp with their titans headed to the “Inturion free heaven”.On the frontline the fighting stoped,RC15  gotten out of her tent to see what is happening and then she saw the light.She muttered “I...inturion”.As the look on her face turned from a happy smile into an expression of fear,a fear she never had before now.She rushed to the sight where the light was seen.
The camp site is coloured in red,Pavle is no where to be seen,same as RC3,a distress call was sent to other RC’s.25 kilometers from the sight a battlefield coloured red with blod.Blod from both the imperial and rebel soilders.Pavle stands coloured in red,on a plain that he created after he cut a moutan into air.He said “Your officiali welcome to the land of the f***ed”.RC3 stood behind him,shocked at the power he has,a single rebel soilder comes out of the ground,he had to move the bodies of his fallen comrades just to get out of the trench that was turned into history.The soilder screamed “IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY,AFTER YOU DID ALL OF THIS,DID YOU NOT HAVE PEAPLE YOU CARED FO..”the soilder was stoped by pavle teleporting  26 meters from him,pointing his spear at him.Pavle screamed”i had,they were killed by men like you.AND MY BOSS RC15 INSULTED THEM AND TOLD ME TO GO ON.SHE KEPT ON INSULTING THEM AND ME TILL 200 YEARS AGO I ALMOUST KILLED HER.DO YOU UNDERSTAND”.The soilder looked at him with frear,sorrow,and a feeling of anger,yet there was sorrow.Pavle told him “I shall grant you mercy,i shall send you to the void lord,you don’t deserve hell”.Then the rebel soilder just disappeared.RC3 saw that and she started to show human emotions.RC15 arrived by that time,it took her a full minute to fly 2500 kilometers.
Red lights lighted the sky above Pavle,he smiled behing the helmet.He then asked “So shall we finish this then”.he asked looking at RC15.She smiled and responded “This shall end in your death”.As she said that a giant laser came from space,the laser was the size of a small village.RC15 smiled and said over the communications “Its good to se you arrived RC2.Oh RC 5 and RC 10 are here too??”.
As she said that Pavle came out off the blast with a scratch on his hand wich he used to absorb most of the blow.He LITERALY took the magic out of the attack and used it to power his defense.
General Pavle “NOW I AM MAD.PAVLE SMASH”
RC 15,RC 3,RC 2,RC 5,RC 10 “NANI??”
General Pavle “LIMIT BREAK”
Stitches “Hello there”
General Pavle “GENERAL KENOBI”
Stitches “I AM NOT KENOBI YOU PEACE OF SHIT”.
Stitches attack Pavle with a blade of pure red.Pavle barely dodges it.He then screams “LET ME FINISH THIS DAMIT”
Stitches “NO YOUR GOING A BIT TO FAR.YOUR RUINING THE STO..I MEAN THE PLANET,YOU KILLED SO MANY OF BOTH OUR AND REBEL MEN.”
General Pavle “LET...ME...HAVE....MY REVENGE”.As Pavle said that his body started to shape-shift to more of an dragon than a human.As the transformation was happening he screamed “I AM A DRAGON AND AS A DRAGON I SHALL FIGHT”.
Stitches wastes no time attacking Pavle.Pavle manages to dodge all of Stitcheses sword slashes.Stitches tried to slash him 35 times in a fraction of a second.Pavle then proceded to counter by faking a kick,just to punch Stitches in the face and to send him flying about a kilometre back.Pavle then proceded to say “I AM A LION AND I WANT TO BE FREE.DO YOU SEE THE LION WHEN YOU LOOK INSIDE OF ME...LION’S BLADE I CALL UPON THY”.Stitches got up and said “THAT SON OF A B****”.Then he ran 1kilometer in a second,barely managing to hit Pavle’s hand. Which was enouf to push Pavle 50 meters and to trow his sword 2 kilometers away”.Pavle then said “I TOLD YOU TO LET ME KILL THAT BI***”.Richa...i mean Stitches replied with “SHUT UP WE HAVE THE SAME POWER,IF YOU RLY WANT TO DO IT THEN YOU HAVE TO BEAT ME,AND I DONT WANT TO CLEAN YOUR SHIT.LIKE LITERALY”
Then Stitches screamed “STOP OR I WILL HAVE TO END THIS ENTIRE S*** HERE.I HAD FUN TOO YOU KNOW”. As he said that he punched Pavle in the head,then he did a back flip while also hitting Pavle with one foot in the manly bits and the other foor hit him in the head.Pavle then screamed in pain from the kick in the b****.
General Pavle “CMON MAN YOU TOO.WHAT WILL THIS BECOME A RUNNING GAG”.
RC 3 “Is it just me or does everyone not know what is happening”
Fives “HIS CRINGE LEVEL IS OVER 9 THOUSAND”
General Pavle “Wait a sec  Stich”.As he said that he teleported behind Fives and put his hands infront of his eyes and said “GUESS WHO”.
Fives responded with “MEDIC”.Which got Stitches angry cause he came into a fight to tell a joke and then called for a medic when he got into truble.Then he said “I WONT LET YOU KILL HIM.I ALREDY HAVE ENOUF WORK”.
General Pavle “Wrong and now THY SHALL DIE”.As he said that he snaped Fives’s neck.After that he jumped back,and said “WILL YOU LET ME FINISH NOW”.
Stitches “YOU CAN CS:GO GO TO HELL”.
General Pavle “CMON MAN NOT THA....”.As he said that he triped on a stone..agen.
General Pavle “NOT AGEN..”
He fell down into a trench  and hit his head on a bayonet.Then RC3 said “Do you ever get that feeling of DEJA VU”.
General Pavle/Stitches  “CMON YOU TOO”.
RC 3 “What?? I just said i got a feeling of seeing something before”.
RC 1 “Lets get this over with.”.
Stitches “Il let you handle this.I promise not to interfear”
General Pavle “I think its not neded.I am on the limit of going into another 200 year coma.But i might as well take that b**** out “
RC 15 “WHO DO YOU CALL A B*********”
She tries to summon the chains.But failes due to the loss of mana.After Pavle sucked her mana and the mana of RC 5,RC 2 AND RC 10.
General Pavle “OK THIS IS LIKE 2 GODS FIGHTING WITH STICKS.”
Stitches “You know we used to much jokes.YEAH IM BREAKING THE 4TH WALL DEAL WITH IT.DEAL WITH IT!!!!.What overused joke can we put here.”
General Pavle “WAIT NOOOOOOOOOO”
Stitches “DO YOU KNOWS WHAT THE EMPERORS FAVORITE DRINK”.HE LAUGHED
EVERYONE “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”.
Stitches “ITS MAUTAN-DEW IT”
General Pavle”I AM DONE WITH THIS SHIT.I CANT TAKE IT.YOU RUINED THE ENTIRE THING.IF WE ARE DOING THAT THEN WE MIGHT AS WELL MAKE US  RED COAT LEADERS”
Stitches “DID YOU NOT READ THE ORIGINAL BOOK”
General Pavle “THERE IS NO BOOK.YOU DID NOT EVEN FINISH IT”
Stitches gives him an USB stick with the story.Pavle procedes to say “TO HELL THY SHALL GO”.As he said that the USB burns into ash.
General Pavle “WHERE IS YOUR STORY NOW”.
Rich...I MEAN Stitches sais “ YOU VOT M80 I HAVE 9 THOUSAND OF THESE.BRING IT ON”
General Pavle “Isnt that to low”
Stitches “I actually have 4 Million.I just had to do the cringy joke”
General Pavle “FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU”.
Pavle goes into a come becose Stitches ruined his mood.Now since i have to sinc my timeline with his i will say he had a bit.NOW F*** YOU RICHARD FOR RUINING MY CANNON.
Stitches “4TH WALL BREAKING TIME”
General Pavle “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”
Stitches “Now i made all of the too much anime like sh** non cannon for the main time line but there is INFINATE TIMELINES.”
General Pavle “STILL F YOU”.
Stitches “WE HAVE NO OFFICIAL CANNON WE ARE LIKE RICK AND MORTY WE HAVE MULTIPLE TIMELINES BUT THERE IS NO MAIN CANNON”
General Pavle “ F YOU FOR THAT “
Stitches  “STOP USING ANIME REFRENES.THIS STORY  NOT A MANGA ITS NOT A ANIME.”.
He got PTSD from the anime.also F**** the writer.
                                    2 IRL Weeks laters
*Doors explode* Peaple with red masks looking like the youtube logo break the 4th wall and the wall of the room we were joking at.
Youtube “ COPYRIGHT OPEN UP.WE ARE TAKING OVER.YOUR UNDER ARREST FOR ABUSING COPY RIGHT LAWS.”
Stitches “ I ONLY DID ONE RICK AN”
Youtube soilders shoot Stitches and say “SHUT THE F UP.NO NAMING THE SERIES”
General Pavle “YOU ACTIVATED MY MEMECARD.”
Youtube Soilders “NANI”
General Pavle “CO-WRITER PROBLEM.I SENT YOU THE ENTIRE STORY AND NOW YOU NEED TO READ IT TO DEATH”
Youtube Soilders “FUUUUUUUUUUUU”
General Pavle “OK LETS FINISH THIS BIT”
Stitches “Ok but i still get to do the trap card joke”
General Pavle “NOOOOOO”.
Stitches makes a cute cat face
General Pavle “FINE...Y0U WIN”
Stitches “ Pavle out of story F**** YOU FOR FORCING ME TO DO THAT...”
                    Back to the story
General  Pavle “WELL NOW THAT WE FINISHED BREAKING THE WALL”
RC 3 “what wall???”
General Pavle/Stitches “WE ARE NOT EXPLAINING IT”
Stitches “But i coud do a deapool joke here”
General Pavle “No i am wriing this so i say no.NOW “
Pavle starts smiling at Stitches and has a look on his face that sais “ITS MEME TIME”
General Pavle “ITS TIME TO MURDER THIS TRACK”
Stitches “DONT”
Pavle charges into Stitches and stops moving all of a sudden
Stitches “YOU ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD”
General Pavle “NOOO DONT DO IT”
Stitches “THE ROCK MEME”
Pavle trips on a rock and slides on the blood of the rebels hitting his Manly bits onto a Red coat that had her foot up.HE WENT FROM THE SPEED OF LIGHT INTO 0 WITH ALL OF THE IMPACT BEING CONTAINED IN HIS MANLY BITS AFTER HE ACCIDENTLY SLIDES ONTO A RANDOM READ COATS SHOES.WICH HAVE SMALL SPIKES AT THE BIT WHERE THE FINGERS ARE AT
General Pavle “I..hate...you”
General Pavle “I AM GOING TO WHIPE THIS PLANET CLEAN FROM THE SH*** STAIN YOU CALL THE RC’S”
RC  1 “Shut the f** up.If you stop i will give you my home made Palacinka.”
General Pavle “DEAL”.
Stitches “Your THAT easy to bribe”
General Pavle “SHUT UP.”
Stitches “WAIT DONT”
Stitches “DONT YOU DARE”
General Pavle “IN SERBIA YOU DONT BRIBE WITH MONEY”
General Pavle “YOU BRIBE THEM WITH PANCAKES”.
Pavle stood up.He sent his spear back to its realm.
General Pavle “But let me send RC15 to the realm of the F****ed for about 2 weeks aka the time i am likely to be in coma for.Also Richard.THANKS FOR THE PAIN OF GETTING STABED IN THE **** OVER 7MILION TIMES”.Then pavle fired a portal shot into RC15 he missed...then he fired agen.and AGEN he missed,then he fired 2 more shots and missed both.then he ran out of bullets,he had a poscicle and then passed out from losing his powers.BUT ONLY THEN he accidentally shot a reserve round and hit RC15 and sent her to the realm of the f***ed.
Pavle woud end up being unconcius for 2 Weeks.Stitches ate all of his pancakes,and said a few flity like thing to RC1 without realising it.When Pavle heard that happened he sent Stitches to the realm of the f****ed for 2 weeks and returned RC15 just to tell her.
General Pavle “IF I EVER SEE YOU AGEN YOU WILL BE STUCK IN THE REALM OF THE F***ED FOREVER”.
                           END OF CHAPTER 2.AND PART 1 OF THE STORY.
Timeline and the creation of the universe : Richard Mann
Writing the current story : Pavle “Fredfox”.
All characters here were eather made from real peaple or got the names from real peaple.And cause some characters do some stupid or sadistic stuff it dosent mean they are like that IRL.This is an overexaturated and Comedic F you and a good story that i just wrote my take on and added a few names to un named characters.There will probably me more.I hope some one actualy reads this
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sexxxlovemusic-blog · 6 years
Text
Screaming.....
I really dont understand what is going through my head, because it's seriously nothing.... at all!! yet I feel like I want to cry all the time. And I come home to your arms and it all goes away. I'm going to start these stupid pills again, maybe if they make me sick my mind will understand that I'm okay and dont need them or something so I can stop having this constant war in my head. Fuck I have such a headache.... and all I want is the day to be over so I can fall asleep in your arms, even though I just woke up not to long ago.....
I just want it all to be over in my head. I wish help was more affordable. I could probably really use someone to talk to so I can get over everything from my past. I just want to be completely happy. I want my mind to just stop putting me in a dark place even though nothing is currently wrong. Everything is amazing right now, I live on my own with my one and only true love, I have a family and a job and a couple friends I can count on but dont see often enough... Yet i guess i just dont feel good enough to be a part of it all.. my mind makes me feel like a waste of space or waste of time.....
The other day I got a flower from my man, as I look at it now I feel happier and I know for a fact I am loved. And.... like I said.... everything is fine! So, why does my head hurt and not feel fine? I want it to go away!!!! I want to lift this darkness off my shoulders and just watch it disappear forever. Hmmm... maybe I've got like..... a personality disorder or some shit like that. My mind seriously takes me out of anything and just sticks me in a hole of bad and horrible things. And I can be perfectly fine the next day. And just keep jumping in and out of this hole multiple times through the week........ And I feel like I'd bother anyone if I say another word about not being happy when I truly have nothing to complain about....
So here is my rant of nothingness. Meh.... I know I reminisce about the past a little to much, yeah I miss my past friends and wish I could go back for some things to keep..... like my mom for sure is the biggest one.... And there is a big reason why these "friends" aren't in my life anymore and I just need to move on... I know that's not a healthy thing to do and I just need to keep looking at my future and stop turning back...... But my future scares me, I dont know where I'm going to end up, or how bad im going to mess up, if im going to end up with a cute family of my own, or if my kids are going to hate me, or if im even going to have kids........
Will I end up alone and be grumpy like my dad? Or will I end up traveling the world like I dream of doing and have the brightest of days? Or will life get the best of me at a young age like my mom....... It's so scary to think about.
I hate not knowing... And living in the moment is kinda a drag for me, doing the same thing every day, work, sleep, eat, clean, have sex once in a while, the most amazing sex I've ever had. Haha! But, yeah, idk, mostly the same things every day. Maybe I should get into drawing again. Or writing even... even though i am not good at them in any way shape or form. Haha. There's a reason why i almost failed every class i took ever. I want to see something new, go somewhere i haven't been.
Maybe this vacation next week, instead of going somewhere that'll make me sad, maybe we can go to something new. Granted, this place that makes me sad, it also has some of the best memories, it's my childhood, it's my family, its.......not there anymore.......
And now I'm crying...... oh how I wish it was still there..... How I wish my family reunions were still there, how I wish my man could meet all the people who are now gone forever....... The people who I truly loved most, the ones my dad got alone with, my dad doesn't like who's left as much as the ones who are gone.... I'm not close with the family that I have now. I'm the outcast and I know at least a couple who might be judging me for my decisions.... And all the people that are gone were the outcasts too...... my mom, the gay uncle who gave us the best times at the park, my.... great aunt?? I cant remember, but she was so sweet and lovable and cute and always took care of me when I fell as a kid, when she was gone, the house was gone thanks to her nasty daughter...... Then there's all the others who taught me how to play golf which is the closest thing I now have with my dad...... I'm pretty sure every single one is gone now......
I haven't seen any of them in I think over 10 years now..... sigh....... I wish I could go back and just see them all once more and give them all the biggest hug, I was just a kid back then and never got to tell them all goodbye....... I wish I could walk through our house again, play slapjack in the living room and watch the old VHS movies I'd bring every year...... I wish we could go looking for arrowheads again, and pet the horses or play horseshoes even..... listen to the heavy rains in the trailer. Or be huddled up close to everyone in the house as it hailed..... Listen to my grandpas stories again and pay better attention to them, I was the stupid child who always had headphones in while in the car so I didn't listen........or I wish I could play poker with him and my cousins again... I need to go visit him and grandma soon...... He can hardly talk or walk anymore so his stories are all with him now..... God damn.......
......There's just so much, my family was big and I took it for granted, I thought I'd have so much more time, and now it's not so much and it's going to be separated even more...... I just feel like I didn't get enough time with anyone...... I didn't get as many hugs as I wanted. And I know they are gone and there is nothing I can do.... but I wish there was...... just for a split moment even...... its just to hard for me not to think about them all...... I miss it all so much..... They need to come back.....
So hey..... that's where my head is..... I can probably keep going but this post is already long enough...... I am totally fine in the moment, but my past and my future have me in a turmoil in my mind.... there is to much I wish I could have back.... And to be with them again requires death, which I'm not quite ready for.....
I am pretty, I am strong, and everything is fine in the moment.... for the most part.. I'm gonna go cry for a while before work, then I'll pretend like I'm okay and put that fake smile on my face for the hours I am there. Then who knows..... Come home and cry some more in your arms. Or maybe I'll be okay, we shall see I guess...
I'm sorry this is such a long post. But I just needed to post something. And.... well.... this is it..... Thanks....
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I saw your post that ya don't have many prompts and I thought I'd try??? So Like I love love love sick betty and honestly I just want all of her precious friends worrying over her and my heart just melts omg..
(I love me some Betty Cooper anon, she’s my princess and pride and joy thanks for the prompt!! Also sorry my Beronica shipping ass can’t stop whoops!!)
Betty Cooper was the girl who did everything for everyone, and never herself.
She was a giver, and was the ray of sunshine in everyone’s lives. She was the friend who was always there for others, and it was practically impossible for anyone to dislike her.
Betty Cooper was there for Archie Andrews his whole life, supporting him with his music career and listening to his songs always. She gave him feedback, lifting his spirits.
Betty Cooper was there for Kevin Keller when he felt frustrated or upset, and was always there to reassure him that there was nothing wrong with him and made him feel safe.
Betty Cooper was there for Jughead Jones in his lowest days, offering him love and kindness when he clearly needed it. She defended him from the whole town when he was ostracised for matters out of his control, his shining light that made him feel like he belonged.
Betty Cooper was there for Veronica Lodge every day. She was destined to be with her, souls intertwined by some greater force. Betty supported Veronica and served as a light when all things in her life seemed to go dark. The bit of purity when all things seemed to become corrupt with filth.
And of course, her friends loved her back.
So when Betty was in need, it was only natural for all her friends to give back.
Jughead was first to take action when Betty walked into the Blue and Gold’s offices, pale, all colour drained from her face besides fevered cheeks and dark circles.
She had come in about forty five minutes before school, feeling bad she hadn’t had much progress done on an article so decided to get a head start. Luckily, Jughead had already been there about 10 minutes prior, due to Archie dragging his reluctant ass over to school because of early football practice.
“Betts!” Jughead exclaimed, rushing towards her and feeling her cheek with the back of his hand.
“You shouldn’t be here!”
Betty smiled at him reassuringly, “Im fine, Juggy, just didn’t get a lot of sleep..”
“Didn’t get a lot of sleep?! It looks like you haven’t slept in days!” Jughead exclaimed, watching as she began to walk shakily.
“Jug, I need to finish this article for Cheryl..she really needs it,” Betty rasped. Following Cheryl’s suicide attempt, she needed the support of her friends more than anything. Her and Jughead had decided to get all the people who cared about her to write a little something for her, and Jughead had done more than he should’ve for the article already. She needed to finish this.
“Then I’ll do it, Betty!” Jughead insisted, rushing to her side as he watched as a wave of nausea hit her, wrapping an arm around her waist to support her. He lead her to the couch and dropped her gently there.
“No, Jug! You’ve done way too much already, Jug. It’s not fair on you–with all you’ve been going through..” Betty attempted to sit back up but Jughead gently pushed her down so she was lying down.
“No way, Betty. Let me take care of you for once,” Jughead pleaded.
“Jughead, you’re a great caretaker, really, but you’re going to get sick! You know your immune systems awful!”
Jughead shrugged, pulling his phone out and shooting a text.
Fuckhead Jones III: Yo Betty’s sick meet me at the blue and gold
“Well, I won’t be your only caretaker,” Jughead smirked.
Justin Gingerlake: Omw lemme get reg out of my way
Kill me Keller: What?!?!?!?! Coming!!!
Ronnie Weasley: I can’t believe jughead jones is saying “Yo”…anyway I’m coming
Betty groaned, “Jughead!”
“What?” Jughead said sheepishly.
She softened, curling up and snuggling herself, “Jug, you got your computer? ”
“Hmm, yes, why?”
“..Can you please read out one of your poems to me? They’re very relaxing.”
“Hmm..they are a peer into my melancholy emo soul, completely exposing my vulnerable, despairing being contemplating our very existence..” Jughead joked.
“But for you Betty Cooper, of course.”
Jughead opened up his laptop and opened up a file, clearing his throat as he recited a hopeful poem, a complete different take than he usually took in his art, in his clarion, dramatic tenor voice.
Betty closed her eyes and immersed herself in his art.
Archie arrived first, a glass of water and his guitar bag in his hands.
“I brought you some water, Betty,” Archie grinned, drenched in sweat.
Jughead fake gagged, “Ugh, Arch, you reek! Clean up, will you?”
“I would have used perfume, Jughead, but you’re severely allergic, remember? Do I need to remind you of the Andrews Construction Dinner incident of 2016?”
Jughead groaned, “Don’t.”
Betty laughed hoarsely, “You’re a saviour, Archie Andrews. Also, I don’t smell a thing, Jughead’s just being a dick.”
Archie laughed then pulled a chair towards the couch and helped her sit up, far too weak to do it herself. He propped up a pillow so she was comfortable, sitting next to her and rubbing her back comfortingly as he helps her drink up the glass of water.
Betty winced as her head began to ache intensely, her head throbbing and pounding.
“Archie, you’re really a star,” Betty thanked quietly, as to not strain her voice.
“A star that’s going to be big one day,” Jughead said softly.
“In fact..Archibald over here’s written a new song, would you do the honours and play it for Elizabeth here?” Jughead grinned.
“Oh..it might make the headache worse,” Archie said.
“No, Arch, please..I love your songs.”
Jughead raised his eyebrow and smiled, watching as Archie unpacked the guitar and started to pluck melodically at the strings.
Kevin came in on the last chorus of Archie’s song, holding a damp towel.
“Oh, Kev!” Betty cooed.
“The moment I heard my best pal was in need I came as quickly as I could,” Kevin smiled and squinted at Archie.
“Not quick enough,” Archie teased.
“Fuck you, Andrews, and your annoyingly toned body,” Kevin hissed.
Archie laughed, packing away his guitar and sat down on the table with Jughead, typing away on the computer.
“Betty, have you been overworking yourself?” Kevin cooed softly, helping her lie back down on the cushion and gently draping the damp, cool towel over her forehead.
“No–”
“Yes she has,” Archie and Jughead said in unison.
Betty released a soft sigh of relief at the cooling touch of the towel, some of the discomforting heat slowly melting away.
“Kevin, you’re the very best..”
“No Betts, you are. You’re always working for others, but you gotta give back to yourself sometime. But don’t fret, we’re right by your side,” Kevin smiled kindly, as he dragged a chair next to the couch.
He cracked his knuckles to which Betty let out a noise of delight.
“Kevin, are you about to give me one of the infamous Keller Massages?”
“You bet I am, for my best gal,” Kevin grinned, as he softly massaged Betty’s temples, circulating them so that the intensity of her headaches slowly subsided. He rubbed slowly and gently, easing away her troubles and sorrows so she was only surrounded by love and support.
Veronica was the last, but the moment she burst through the doors of the Blue and Gold, in complete sweats, all their questions regarding her tardiness was answered.
Veronica was carrying a multitude of items, a luxurious furry blanket, a packet of medicine, a thermos of soup, tea bags and a box of chocolates.
“Well, that was not expected,” Archie blinked.
Jughead smirked, “That was the only thing that was destined to happen, Archie.”
“I’m so sorry I’m so late, Betty! The moment I heard you weren’t feeling well I tried to get everything ready ASAP and I ran all the way here!”
Veronica set down all her items onto a table and approached Betty, kneeling down so she could be in eye-to-eye level. She frowned at seeing her so ill and weak. Betty Cooper did not deserve to be sick. She was too good to be sick.
Betty chuckled fondly, “Ronnie..you didn’t have to..”
“Oh Betty! My poor angel,” Veronica frowned as she ran over to the table and draped the luxurious blanket over her entire frame, tucking her in to the blankets protectively.
“Are you warm enough? You must feel awful,” Veronica doted.
“Ronnie..I’m fine,” Betty giggled, feeling a lot better by Veronica just being there.
“I even got you these chocolates from Belgium, trust me, you’ll feel a lot better..”
Betty could only giggle, “Ronnie..”
She cleared her throat, “..but we are going to be late..”
“What?! No, Betty, you’re going home!” Veronica insisted.
“Can’t–my mom is away on a reporter story and my dad is out of town on a different story,” Betty explained.
“Then just stay here and I’ll give you a ride home later!” Kevin butted in.
“I can’t stay here!” Betty protested.
“We’ll tell the nurse you’re comfortable here, and don’t feel up to moving up there,” Archie suggested.
“She won’t listen to you, Arch!” Betty chuckled.
“I’ll tell her,” Jughead piped up, the gang knowing full well how soft the old nurse was on Jughead, seeing as how often he ended up in her office.
“I’ll even get us all excuses to look after you!” Jughead offered.
“No way! You can’t all look after me!” Betty protested.
“Well, at least Veronica,” Archie butted in.
Betty and Veronica blushed.
“U-uh, w-what?” Veronica stammered.
Kevin laughed, “Oh my god, let’s all stop this hetero bullshit, we all know that Veronica here is the best option here.”
“Agreed,” Jughead and Archie nodded.
“Well, we’ll leave you guys to it! I’ll drive you home later today and we’ll all check up on you later, yeah?” Kevin beamed, heading out the door as Jughead and Archie said their goodbyes as the two headed over to the Nurse before class.
Veronica chuckled as they left, and gave her a warm smile.
“Have you eaten anything today?”
Betty shook her head, “..I kinda forgot..I was in a huge haze this morning.”
“Well, I’m here to the rescue,” Veronica said kindly, her voice so warm and loving Betty swore her chills were abating.
Veronica began to boil some water in the kettle Betty had brought in for Jughead’s coffee addiction, and when it was done used it to make her a nice peppermint tea.
She opened up the soup in the thermos and passed it to Betty, who had managed to sit up while she had done so.
Betty sipped at the soup with delight, the flavours absolutely delicious and creamy, “Veronica, this is great..”
“Anything for my best girl,” Veronica cooed, watching in satisfaction as Betty ate up the soup.
Once Betty had finished, Veronica began to pop open one of the medicine packets and passed her the pill along with the peppermint tea, to which Betty obliged. Betty sighed in contentment, eyes closed in satisfaction as the aroma and tastefully sweet tangs hit her.
“Veronica..you really didn’t have to do this all for me..You’re the best,” Betty whispered softly.
Veronica blushed lightly, “..Of course..Betty, you know I…really care about you.”
“You know, you’re like this..oh jesus..this is really stupid..but you’re like the best thing in my life right now, this absolutely perfect light..”
“..Ronnie, I’m not perfect,” Betty whispered weakly.
Veronica softened, “Of course. That’s not what I meant, but in my eyes..all of your faults and little things..they add up into this beautiful beautiful person who feels like perfect. Someone so..wonderfully crafted, yet flawed..but always striving for the good.”
Betty smiled softly, “Veronica..”
“You give all the time Betty..I’m just..so glad I can give back for once. To thank you for blessing me with your company,” Veronica said softly.
“I like being with you too, Ronnie..it all feels so nice..just me and you here..” Betty whispered.
Veronica felt her heart soar and insides melt, completely warm and tingly. She couldn’t help but begin to stroke her hair softly, brushing each strand of luscious blonde hair carefully and tenderly, like she was made of magic. To Veronica at least, she was made of magic.
Veronica fondled with her hair for a little bit, taking in all of the wonder that was Betty Cooper in this beautifully silent moment. This was all a reality, and she wasn’t just some princess from a fairytale, she was real.
Betty broke the silence, a smile coming to her lips, “..Veronica..come here..”
Veronica hesitated, stunned, but was pulled in by Betty who began to cuddle her lovingly, a little influenced by the fever but genuine all the same.
“Sing to me, please?” Betty mumbled.
Veronica blushed, but finally controlled herself enough to lightly sing.
“If you be my star, I’ll be your sky,you can hide underneath me and come out at night..when I turn jet black and you show off your lightI live to let you shine..I live to let you shine..But you can skyrocket away from meAnd never come back if you find another galaxyFar from here, with more room to fly,but leave me your stardust to remember you by…”
“That’s sweet,” Kevin whispered by lunch time as he walked in, Archie and Jughead right behind him, smiling along as they admired the sight.
A sight of two sweet girls intertwined with each other, holding each other close, never to let go.
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kristie-rp · 5 years
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[2016] A Series of Coincidences is Called, “The Universe is Having You On”
Prompt: Found their phone number in a library book au
1.
“Todays’ the day,” Xavier declares to his breakfast – scrambled eggs and toast, because his dad takes being a chef very seriously don’t laugh, Xav – and then gives a determined nod. “I can absolutely do this.”
And maybe he could, but when he gets to school and hangs out all day, even having the stupid note – something he did purely because he overheard her complain that she’s sick of being the messenger for her more popular twins notes, I want some for me, damn it – all prepared and written out ahead of time, ready to slip into her locker or, if he’s feeling particularly brave, into her notebook. The one with the little sketches all over it.
It’s not until after school, when he’s waiting for Isaac’s chauffeur to give them a lift to karate, that he finds out what happened. “Didja hear?” Isaac asks, more attractive with his actually decent looking facial hair (especially for a 14 year old, which, what) and his flawless olive skin and expertly quaffed hair, as he flops down on the stairs where Xavier has sprawled out, face-down on the concrete. “The hot twins got expelled. You know – the one that thinks she’s a dude and the one you have a boner for.”
Xavier does know. He sits up just to tear the little note to shreds. So much for that, he thinks, and in a dramatic teenaged fit later that night, he gives up on the idea of Pandora Rodriquez, gorgeous artist extraordinaire, and then on romance altogether.
2.
It’s ridiculous but Isaac dares him to do it and the new guy encourages the whole thing, so Xavier writes his mobile number on a post it and sticks it in the book he was hoping had information for the stupid class project that he doesn’t want to do. This is what he gets for hoping art history is actually interesting, and as he packs up to leave he swears the terrifying librarian with her magenta hair and dark skin knows exactly what he just did (judging by the snickering from the shelves, the womans boyfriend definitely knows), because she just keeps staring at him. He smiles uneasily and gets the hell out of there, forgetting about it once Vincent and Isaac finish teasing his damn unfortunate self (“You actually did it? Dude, you could’ve just pretended.” “Shut up and do something about your gigantic bisexual boner for the new guy,” Xavier snaps and hits Isaac with a pillow, because he’s still paranoid the librarian will show up and scold him for abusing books despite the fact that he lives on the opposite side of town to the library).
It’s a week later when he gets a text from a number he doesn’t recognise.
(3:43PM) so does this thing help at all with th project on “obscure fuckin artists” or
(3:44 PM) ? what are you talking about
(3:44 PM) who is this by the way
(3:50 PM) hellloooo? 
(4:22 PM) soz not soz. ur number’s in this book. at the library. that was u, rght? 
(4:24 PM) oh. yeah. 
(4:27 PM) but that book was rubbish. i ended up just googling
(4:27 PM) asdhfkldsahfkdlfkjsa 
(4:28 PM) u srs? 
(4:32 PM) IM AT THS HOLE FOR NO REASON FML 
(4:34 PM) breathe, random angry text person
He doesn’t get another text back that day, but he and the unknown number are in contact for a long time yet.
3.
College is fantastic. And by that of course Xavier means he hates it. He tells his cereal as much one morning, never mind that he isn’t even a college student, waiting for Isaac to quit hogging the fucking breakfast. “I hate college.” Just for good measure, he texts the random angry text person (now called ‘poxy paint’ because why not) from sophomore year the same thing.
(7:43 AM) u wke me up for ths shit 
(7:45 AM) you want problems? my roommate sings in the shower
 He snorts, because he can hear Isaac singing fucking Keep Moving On in the next room, and it’s mornings like this that he regrets renting an open plan living space. There’s a bathroom and one closed off room, which sucks because Isaac, as the one who actually has the sex life, is the one who gets dibs. Xavier’s still pining after a crush he had in middle and high school (he regrets nothing, damn it, except for a stupid ripped up note that melted in the rain six years ago).
(7:50 AM) coffeeeeeee
(7:52 AM) nyway. u still wanna meet me? coz im free today
 (7:53 AM) i can come to that shop thing if u want? sis nd her friends want to do smth “cultural” or w/e
 He stares at his phone for a full two minutes before grinning at his cereal, dropping the spoon. “I could actually meet them? Do I want to? Will I ruin everything?
“Quit talking to your fucking food!” Isaac calls. Xavier calls back that he should fuck himself while he’s in there, then texts back.
(7:56 AM) sorry that took so long 
(7:57 AM) the show starts at 10 if your serious. convention center and all 
(8:03 AM) ill b th chick wiv the twin, a lost boi and a crown 
(8:05 AM) i’ll be waiting for you your highness
4.
Vince helps out with the stall, because Isaac has advanced quantum physics or whatever the fuck he’s studying now. Xavier doesn’t care enough to know for sure, and wouldn’t even have an idea it was physics if he hadn’t tripped over a book that morning (“Why is a physics textbook next to the shower?” “I need that for class!” “Noooo? And here I thought you had it for light reading.” “Alright, no need to be sarcastic.”), but it means that he and Vince are manning the stall. Well, Vince is manning the stall. Xavier is mostly just being anxious and doodling little animals running around in circles. When the guy his roommate still has a bisexual boner for (even after they actually did something about it that one Thanksgiving break) became the most responsible person in his life, he doesn’t know, but it’s nice listening to someone other than him argue that his art is worth the price he affixes with little removable tags.
“Vince?” a confused voice chimes. Xavier rolls his eyes – it isn’t the first time someone has recognised the guy who will always be “the new guy” in his social circle – and looks up to scan the room for the crown, the twin and the ‘lost boy’ once again. Seeing nothing, he sighs and looks back at his doodles. “You’re the awkward artist dude?”
Vince looks positively delighted, Xavier discovers when his hand cramps and he looks up yet again as he shakes it out. “Oh my god, you’re the mysterious textee? Seriously?” Maybe he wasn’t there for the event itself, but he knows the story about Xavier’s gigantic crush, courtesy of Isaac himself. He turns to Xavier, says unnecessarily loudly, “Hey Xavier, I didn’t realise it was my Pandora.”
The look Xavier shoots him could wither a sunflower, but Vince just jumps to his feet, gesturing for Pan to come around. “You know what, you two should absolutely take care of things here, I want a break anyway.” He grabs the other guy – who’s mostly just standing there looking bewildered – by the hand and drags him away, borderline skipping. The other girl raises an eyebrow at the one with the – with the crown?
“Is this the guy,” she asks, except it doesn’t quite sound like a question.
“Uh,” the girl says, eloquently, then turns to him. “Phone.”
Xavier points at the counter, baffled, and lets her go through the thing, unlocked to play music as he works. After a moment she emits a triumphant little noise and nods at the other girl – who shakes her head and leaves – and drops the phone on his page. “Hey, so, this is a little bit weird, but – I think I’m the person you’ve been texting for, like, six years or something.” She taps her head; a glance has Xavier realising he didn’t look close enough to spot the fucking crown. It’s paper and bright pink, covered in so much glitter and beads that he’s not sure it’s not just stuck to her hair with glue.
And, worse, he knows her. “Holy shit.” Because maybe Vince thinks this is his Pandora, but before she was his she was his, Xavier’s, in his dreams at least. “This is going to sound absolutely insane, but – you went to Saint Jude’s and got expelled, didn’t you? You’re, uh, you supposedly set something on fire?”
“It was for art,” she retorts, indignant, “why?”
“Because I was, uh,” and he mumbles the last part as quickly as he can, wanting it over with as his cheek turn bright fucking red, “planning on asking you out literally the day you got expelled.”
She starts laughing a minute later, and then, out of sheer desperation, so does he. At this points it’s that or cry.
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xlmurchison · 6 years
Text
In my own words
On the 9th February 2014, I found out that I was to become a mother. Exactly a year later, on the 9th February 2015 I decided to attempt to take my own life.
I’ve always spoken really openly about my journey as a mother, and battling postnatal depression ever since it happening really, firstly as an attempt to recover and secondly to help others who are, or who know someone going through the same thing. I feel the best thing I ever did was associate myself with charities related to this issue, this week ITV border aired a news piece I filmed 3 weeks ago with a charity called “fixers” however, through the various things I’ve done, not often have I managed to actually give my full story to anyone. So here it is..
I’d been married to Duncan for 5 months when we found out we were expecting our first child. Lots of emotions running around at that time, we were 19, still really getting to know each other (we’d been together 18 months but at that age you change every day) but excited, because it was something we’d wanted from the day we’d met. Family always meant a lot to us, for different reasons but we were always set on having one together! The first few weeks of pregnancy was basically just morning sickness and lots of bleeding, we had an emergency scan at 9 weeks as we thought we’d miscarried, but fate had other ideas! There it was, a tiny little bean, moving away! Safe to say we were smitten!
The difficultly then lied with actually getting ourselves ready to be parents! I was nervous and always worried I wouldn't be a good enough mother, Duncan takes everything in his stride so he wasn't phased, and on the 11th October 2014, at 11:11pm, Evie Louise Murchison made her grand entrance into the world, screaming, moving, with a tonne of black hair! She was everything. 
My postnatal depression journey began there-after, she was the perfect child, slept all night, fed well, was so content. The trouble was me, I didn’t at any point feel good enough.. I did everything a mother should do, my baby was happy, healthy and loved beyond words but slowly, I let every bit of love I had for myself disappear, wrapped up in guilt and a dressing gown I spent most of my days at home, hidden where I could be happy in not feeling judged. And trying to desperately to convince myself motherhood would come at some point. 
Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months. I’d tried to get some help for my mood however being given 10mg of citalopram and being told, it’ll be fine eventually.. my condition didn’t improve, none-surprisingly really! I was beyond anti-depressants and the feeling that everything would be okay, I wanted it all to end. I didn’t want to be a burden anymore and I didn't want to live my life feeling like I wasn't good enough. My daughter deserved better, my Husband did. For years Id felt like an embarrassment to my family, like I didn’t fit in, so after a weekend in Fleetwood with Evie and Duncan, and a family member deciding to let loose and call me a child pretending to be an adult, and a terrible excuse for a mother, I decided that on Monday 9th February 2015, I’d take fate into my own hands and say goodbye to the life I was so ashamed to live.
I felt calm on that morning, it was the first morning in what felt like forever I’d felt in control of my life, I’d had bacon for breakfast (at that point I didn't even like bacon) and placed Evie in her cot for her morning nap, it lasted a couple of hours so I knew I had time to think about it properly, about what I was going to do, if i’d tell anyone, if I really wanted to go through with it, turns out I didn't need to think too long on that one. It wasn't up for debate at that point. After gathering any pill I could find, painkillers, antidepressants.. I took them all, slashed my wrists, and blacked out. Prior to taking the last few pills I’d sent a series of messages.
To my parents “Im sorry I’ll never be good enough” - No response
To my husband “I love you” - His response “i love you too”
To my mother in law “look after Evie and Duncan, I love them both more than the world” - Response 3 text messages, more missed calls than I could count, a 20 mile trip in about 10 minutes and ultimately, she saved my life.
Dipping in and out of consciousness inside an ambulance hearing words like cardiac arrest, and we need to get her to hospital fast, I didn't even flinch, I’d already accepted the fact I wanted to die, so I couldn't care less if they lost their battle with me. The whole hospital experience was a blur, one of the first things I remember asking Duncan was if my parents had responded to my text, Duncan replying “no” set my mind back into overdrive and he saw the visible effect it had on me, so he made the decision to change my phone number and stop all contact for a period of time, in the hope my feelings of not being good enough would be lessened, and we could focus on getting me better. We both knew I loved Evie, I just needed help in getting my mind used to the idea that she loved me too. 
The morning after I left hospital social services came knocking at my door. Instead of “how are you feeling” it was “are you sorry for what you did?” and “how much of a risk are you to this child because your emotions are clearly getting the better of you and she's suffering for it”... this beautiful baby cuddled into my chest, smelling of talcum powder, freshly washed baby grows, sleeping peacefully. Totally neglected. Obviously at that point I wasn’t so numb anymore, the experience hadn’t troubled me, however It had made me think that I should maybe pick the broken pieces up of myself and try gluing them back together. So after a few weeks thinking deeply about life, and a therapist telling me I was a child trapped inside an adults body and I couldn't control my emotions or my anxiety (shocked!) I’d googled postnatal depression help that made times I’d slowly started feeling better. Enough to start telling my story, I wasn't ashamed anymore, I began to see the benefits of speaking out, those words “Me too” became music to my ears, and I couldn't help but think, maybe if I keep doing this, someone will benefit from it, someone might speak up, get help, or they might realise they struggled too. If one person benefitted from me telling my story, openly, honestly, in its entirety, then me going through that would be worth it. And exactly that happened.
3 years on I still have my days where I struggle, you see a 3 year old is very different to a 3 month old, she talks, she now has attitude, now she actually knows how she's testing my patience, and she tests it good! those baby days were actually the easier days. However, it doesn't mean i’d swap them any time soon. I’m still quite scarred by those feelings, and the guilt still bothers me every day. I nearly took away my daughters opportunity to have a mother, I nearly ruined the family I wanted so badly. I have a career now, Evie is in pre-school, we’ve been married 4.5 years, and we are genuinely happy. We are a normal family, we have a faults and sometimes Duncan struggled with my moods, because living with someone who suffers extreme anxiety isn't easy. sometimes he has to push me to leave the house and go to work, other times he has to drag me down to reality because I'm convinced I could run a business and take on the world. I’m difficult, and stroppy, and I beat myself up all of the time about everything that happened. However my determination to help other families outweighs all of the negatives. 
There are so many statistics with regards to postnatal depression. Figures are great but how many women are missed? Men are hardly accounted for.. The horrible truth is it can affect anyone, and I want to change that, I want women to share their stories, I want to hear me too! I don't want any other mum feeling like they aren't enough, because believe me, if you are reading this and your sitting there thinking “this is how i’m feeling” You are enough, If I could give a women, or man a DVD of memories showing them how many times they’ve been enough id personally deliver one to every parent on this planet. Every nappy change, every tear dried, every lullaby, nursery rhyme or personal rendition of whatever is number 1 on the charts at that time, you’ve been enough for that baby, and that, is all that matters. The world is strange, naturally you are created to have children, and before you know it you are sat at the end of a bed doubting that very decision. I was left sitting on the bathroom floor watching blood pour from my arms thinking that my life would have been better wasted than lived feeling nothing but guilt. Like I say this experience hasn't made me super mum, its made me a mum who thinks she has a level of control, but I know I'm not perfect, but I know I am capable of giving Evie everything she needs, we are best friends because I fought so hard to be just that. I still fight every day, telling myself the amount of love I give her is enough to fill 3 people let alone just her. But now i’m given the opportunity to make a big difference, people say “she's that girl who had PND isn't she” and my friends say, yes! she is! 
Believe it or not, I’ve had people tell me I'm embarrassing for actually admitting I was so weak I attempted suicide, I’ve had family, yes FAMILY members tell me they wish I’d of died. People stopped talking to me, people laughed at me. Mental illness isn't weakness, it takes some strength to get back up and dust yourself off, it takes strength to fight back against your own mind, to force yourself to feel better. I hate going to work every single day, I hate pretending I'm confident and easy going. I hate meeting people, trusting people. If my own family can laugh behind my back what would friends say? But i’ve learned over the years who I can trust and who I can't, and most of all I’ve learned to never judge anyone. 
These words are honest, unedited and without a doubt the hardest words I’ve written. I know nobody really wanted to know the gory details, maybe you’ve read this and you think I love the attention, believe me, if I could pretend for the rest of my life that I’ve always been an awesome mother, but I haven't and part of the journey was admitting to myself that I fucked up. And that I could maybe help someone else. If you’re feeling any which way like I did, please tell someone, tell me, a friend, family, someone who hardly know but trust. Help is out there. Help isn't far away and in whatever form it comes it, there will be a life after this. 
Keep Strong 
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