will: are nico and percy still at the zoo?
annabeth: yeah, percy's been sending me pictures of animals all day
will: really? all i've gotten from nico is a 5 second video of a lizard falling over with the caption "moron. this is you"
will: i love him
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Nico: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?
Percy: Several traffic violations.
Jason: Three counts of resisting arrest.
Leo: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.
Frank: Also, that’s not our car.
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Nico, half passed out in an infirmary bed after shadow travel : my boyfriend will get upset if he sees you touching me like that
Will : I'm your boyfriend
Nico :
*heart monitor beeps faster*
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percy after seeing 13 year old nico raise an army of living fucking skeletons: my chemical romance was right teenagers scare the living shit out of me
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Percy: one of my talents is being stress
Annabeth: do you mean being stressed?
Percy, looking at Chiron who's downing 6 aspirins: I don't think-
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Jason: So let me get this straight.
Percy: More like let me run this bi you.
Leo: Let’s see how this pans out.
Reyna: Stop. We should ace-ess the situation.
Piper: Lesbian actual team of functioning people, okay?
Nico: I’m gay…
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Leo Valdez: “There’s something seriously wrong with you!”
Nico Di Angelo: “...Coming from you, that's actually a little worrying.”
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Leo: Okay, I’ve come up with a 3-step plan to get Will to marry you!
Nico: . . . Okay . . .
Leo: Step one - invite him to play Truth or Dare
Nico: Oh gods
Leo: Step two - wait until he picks dare, which he will because I’ll be making chicken noises at him
Nico: Leo no
Leo: Step three - DARE him to marry you!
Will, from the other room: It could work!
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Percy: *reading a newspaper*
Headline: BREAKING: Nico di Angelo and Will Solace reportedly spotted in gay bar
Percy: okay? "Fork spotted in kitchen?" Come on now
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Nico to Will: Would you like to stay for dinner?
Persephone, from a different room: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?!
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Nico: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it
Jason: Just rip the bandage off.
Nico: It’s Percy.
Jason: Put the bandage back on.
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Kissing Booboos
Nico: OW!
Will: What happened?
Nico: Paper cut
Will: Aw, here *kisses his finger and it heals*
Nico: Why'd you do that?
Will: Well, kissing booboos can help make it feel better
Nico:
---
Nico: Valdez. I need you to punch me in the mouth
Leo:
Nico:
Leo: Finally!
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Nico kiss marry kill : Percy, Will and Jason
Nico : kill Percy. And... kiss Will and marry Jason
Will : OK WHAT
Jason : I'm honoured, but are you sure you wouldn't prefer to marry your boyfriend...?
Nico : no bc then id have to kiss you, which is cheating. But I can sign legal marriage papers with you and then we don't kiss, so it won't be cheating.
Jason : I see. That's clever
Leo : I just love the lack of hesitation to kill Percy
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