percy: it doesn't have to be a big deal that you hugged me lol
percy, internally: AHHHHHHHHHHH SHE HUGGED ME KADFJHSKJLGASLDFKHJ PLAY IT COOL PLAY IT COOL
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Annabeth: I regret getting you that blender for Christmas
Percy, sipping waffles: Why?
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will: are nico and percy still at the zoo?
annabeth: yeah, percy's been sending me pictures of animals all day
will: really? all i've gotten from nico is a 5 second video of a lizard falling over with the caption "moron. this is you"
will: i love him
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Annabeth: are lobsters mermaids to scorpions?
Percy: Annabeth it's three in the fucking morning.
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The Mark of Athena:
Annabeth: Percy! Glad to have you back at last. Come meet everybody. This is Jason Grace, he’s -
Percy, eyebrows raised appreciatively: Large and muscular.
Annabeth, flatly: A leader of the Roman demigods, actually.
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At the zoo
Annabeth Chase: What are they in for?
Percy Jackson: Annabeth, this isn't prison.
Annabeth Chase: So they can leave?
Percy Jackson: No, but-
Annabeth Chase (pointing at a meerkat): I bet that one murdered someone.
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Percy: Annabeth and I are having a baby.
Nico: That's gre-
Percy, slamming adoption papers on the table: It's you, sign here.
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Annabeth: Percy, how could you possibly have gotten into this much trouble in one day?
Percy: Not to brag but it didn't even take me the whole day!
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jason: were you and annabeth kissing?
percy: no! of course not!
jason: her lipstick’s on your mouth
percy: …we wear the same shade
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Annabeth, watching the news: Someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today!
Percy: *walks in covered with ink* Well, maybe the squid was being a dick.
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Annabeth: *looking at Percy’s résumé* so you’re saying you’re creative
Percy: yeah
Annabeth: and what do you create
Percy: problems?
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percy: *talking a lot*
annabeth, trying to get him to be quiet: did you know that silent men have 30% larger penises on average?
percy:
percy: i don’t care
percy: *keeps talking*
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Percy: And you know what the worst part is?
Jason: That you have to get over this without calling Annabeth for the 20th time?
Percy: No
Percy: Yes
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annabeth: i value you almost as much as the library.
percy:
percy: thank you?
annabeth, whispering to grover: how was my flirting.
grover, whispering back: THAT?? was flirting??
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Annabeth: the house is burning and you can save either me or the cake, what do you choose?
Percy: that's not fair, the cake doesn't have legs.
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Annabeth, over Iris message: I need you in my cabin right now! I’m under attack!
Percy, flatly: Are you sure it’s a real spider this time, or is this like the dandelion incident?
Annabeth, stressed and defensive: It moved like a spider, Percy!
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