#incorrect percy jackson quotes
Percy: You know what I realized?
Nico: That some thoughts are better left unsaid?
Percy: Nice try, but no.
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Annabeth: I'm dumb
Leo: I'm cold
Percy: I'm dehydrated
Jason: I'm alive
Jason: Beat that!
Nico: Um, well
Will: C'mon, Nico, admit it and you'll win this discussion!
Nico: I don't want to win any stupid discussion. It's not even a discussion!
Nico: I am sunshine
Will: FINALLY! You agree!
Nico: You know what? I'm straight too.
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new camper: but wait, do dragons exist?
malcolm: sadly, yes
new camper: but how?? their wing proportions and weight contradict so it’s impossible for them to fly
malcolm: i have no idea how any of this stuff works, only that monsters exist and they want to kill me
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Riordanverse charcters as things my friends, family and I have said.
Annabeth: Percy, do you know the X word?
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Mr D: I assure you, this type of idiocy will not be tolerated
Percy: Is there another type of idiocy you'd prefer?
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percy, skating into the big house with clout goggles and a rainbow smoothie: chiron, your not gonna fucking believe this
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Chiron: I want to show you a picture from last night that really upset me
Leo: Okay but in my defense Piper bet me 50 cents that I couldn't drink all that shampoo
Chiron: that's not what i- you drank SHAMPOO?
Leo: What?! No! You're the one farting bubbles
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Will, talking about Nico: One time he couldn’t decide whether he wanted to call me ‘pretty boy’ or ‘baby genius’ and he ended up blurting out ‘pretty baby’
Nico, embarrassed: ShutupShutupShutupShutup-
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Nico: What if whenever you cracked your knuckles your fingers started to glow like glow sticks?
Will: Go to sleep
Will: Wait! I could read in the dark!!
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Nico, handing Dionysus a card: Here you go
Mr. D: What’s this?
Nico: It’s a father’s day card. I know you’re not really my father, but...
Nico: Why are you crying??
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Nico: Can you tuck me in?
Will: You just handed me a shovel-
Nico: Yeah, just spread the dirt over me as evenly as you can, thanks.
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Clarisse: Alright, let's tell each other a secret about ourselves. I'll go first: I. Hate. You.
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Nico: Ah yes, baguettes, the snakes of bread. We'll take two of your freshest yeasty eels, good sir
Will: *looking close to tears* Please, ignore him
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YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUCKED UP. In the last olympian tyson was given all these honours and gifts for bring Poseidon's armies to their rescue and stuff and it was all well deserved but what about Nico?? Nobody said anything to him??? And his job was so much harder because Hades was being a whiny asshole?? And he still convinced him to help Olympus and it was like, he was appreciated for like two days and then everyone forgot about it and STILL he helped them in hoo and didn't become a whole ass villain. I-
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Apparently Jason passed out:
3 times in the lost hero
5 times in the mark of Athena (yikez)
once in the house of hades
And twice in the blood of olympus
So homeboy basically passed out 11 times in a five book series
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Will would call Nico kitten, not because it's cute and romantic and stuff but because Nico actually does remind him of a kitten. Feral. Unapologetic. Can destroy you if wanted.
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Nico: You don't wanna date me, William. I'm a handful
Will: *with a completely straight face* I have two hands though
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Ethan: I know we don't see eye to eye...
Luke: Because you’re short
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which myth did Nico read that convinced him that his ancestors were rolemodels of heterosexuality, like which one???
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Jason: Let's go over some self defense techniques, shall we?
Will: *punches Jason in the throat*
Jason: Usually you warn people before you do that
Will: But Nico told me the element of surprise was crucial
Jason: Okay he's a good teacher. But after punching someone in the throat you should say something cool like "choke on that"
Will: Right but they're not experiencing choking. They're experiencing airway trauma. Ooooh, how about something like, "Better get some corticosteroids to treat that laryngeal fracture"
Jason: Okay yeah, that was a very informative and polite. But maybe add a dirtbag on the end?
Will: But a dirtbag is a very important part of the vacuum. I don't see how it's an insult
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