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#so now that they're going again (the words) the temptation to keep writing as long as possible is immense
sk-lumen · 2 years
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do you think as a high value woman, it's fine to have one night stands probably once in a while? as long as you're doing it on your own terms?
Hi darling,
Listen, I can talk about high value mindset and elegance for hours, but at the end of the day, your life has to work for you.
I know it's not easy, in this day and age, to resist the temptation of casual hook-ups (or FWB, F buddies and whatever other situationships). Because of how society at large is set up, it's easy to feel lonely, disconnected, hungry for some deeper connection. If anything, I would say society as we see it today was designed to keep people this way: unhappy and disconnected. Media normalizes it, men are taught to feel entitled to it (or at least to normalize it as well), and that leaves many women thinking they have no choice but settle for crumbs if they are to have their needs for affection/intimacy met.
Or, there's also another side to the story. Men (or any gender, goes either way) that are heartbroken from past relationships find themselves emotionally unavailable or unable to invest 100% into a relationship again, they're still healing. But they also don't want to be deprived of affection, intimacy, feeling wanted or loved, even if for a night/arrangement.
I'm not going to say it's easy to say no. We're all human. We have needs, whether they're physical, mental or emotional. That's one truth, that I find no point denying.
Here's another truth: by principle situationships are a bad idea because at the end of the day, most often someone always ends up hurt, usually you as the woman. You give the most (your sacred feminine energy, your nurturing, your body, your health, your time)... and receive the least (a night of pleasure or let's be real, not even that much). Women become emotionally attached through physical intimacy; you can negotiate your way around that fact with self-denial bravado or intellectual discourse all day, but it doesn't change it. And that's the least of worries. As a woman, you can get pregnant, or you can end up with who knows what STDs or STI's - and yes, that is an essential, mature, responsible conversation to have with yourself and the respective partner(s). You can't toy with your health like that.
That being said, if "on your own terms" is your loophole to having it both ways, both having your high value mindset and your emotional/physical needs met... if that means only getting involved with men that you've carefully vetted in every important sense of the word, and you find that this arrangement works for you now and then, then power to you, and I say that unironically. Just make sure to check in with yourself often and well, check with your intuition that it's the right thing for you.
I would never judge a woman that chooses to do so. I will always celebrate a woman's right to choose for herself. Making messy choices doesn't mean you suddenly lose your high value woman status, it just means you're human. But you do owe it to yourself to learn from the past, and make better choices for your overall happiness.
And listen, this glow up lifestyle is not a religion, there's no bible of rules or values you have to hold yourself up to infallibly or you're out. What I and many other ambitious, lovely, go-getter ladies write about here on Tumblr are all guidelines and sensible advice to help you forward. The focus is to find what works for you. What helps you become your best self.
(PS: I used male/female gender dynamic because that is the focus of my blog, that is what I have experience with and as such can best advise on. But you can apply this regardless of gender dynamic or orientation.)
Hope this helps.
Much love,
Lumen
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i-love-you-all · 2 years
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HI im very VERY starved for tremorbolt content but since ur The tremorbolt person do u have any songs that remind u of them? I'm making a playlist to feed my hunger and i wanna get a buncha sova x breach vibe of songs on it OKAY THATS ALL
- fishy
Ooh song association :)) Yeah, I like to use music to give me inspiration for stories/events and I like using them to get me in a certain mood sometimes. Idk how many of them give off the tremorbolt vibe tho lol. I listed like 20 songs and how/why I used them (bc not all of them fit perfectly). It's p long tho so under the keep reading.
Eyes Blue Like the Atlantic by Sista Prod, Subvrbs - Because I imagine that Breach has nice eyes when he's not pissed or anything. Blue stands out well w his red hair too, so I like to use this as the backdrop when I want fluff from Sova's POV about Breach.
ocean eyes by Billie Eilish - Same deal as above but for angsty/conflict heavy scenes.
R U Mine? by Arctic Monkeys - Used for inspo for Tangled in Red, esp Breach's inner conflict. "And satisfaction feels like a distant memory" and "Are you mine tomorrow or just mine tonight" were great starting points for Breach's doubts.
Weak by AJR - Again for Tangled in Red, I used this song as inspiration for the theme of being unable to say no because you're just too weak to do so and the temptation is just too great. So in the beginning of the story obv, this comes into play many times lol.
Boy Like Me by New Medicine - The singer is singing abt a girl, but just switch a few things around and I could see this being from Breach's POV pre any relationship with Sova since it's all about this girl being uninterested in the singer, yet she's the only one the singer wants.
Death of a Bachelor by P!ATD - I think in every story so far, I've had Breach and Sova in a contentious relationship that turns into a sexual relationship before they start to actually like each other as people. So I think the lyrics and the message fit well from either side of just falling for someone and not really wanting to? At least that's how I see it.
3AM by Mads Langer - Just holding onto someone and wanting them so much that nothing else matters as long as you're w the other person. This theme works for a lot of ships but given the... possibly explicit nature of the lyrics, I associate it w breach/sova the most.
Sight of the Sun by fun. - Another song about transitioning into love. It's cute and a good backdrop for when I wanna write some fluff. "For once, there is nothing up my sleeve. Just some scars from a life that used to trouble me. I used to run at first sight of the sun, but now I lay here waiting for you to wake up."
Dixie Boy by April Smith and the Great Picture Show - It's a song about jealousy and possessiveness? Basically warding off other potential suitors of the love interest. I used this for inspo for a bit of writing that hasn't been published yet... So... semi spoilers? I won't give away for what story. Maybe one day it'll be clear.
Young God by Halsey - I know the song is probably deeper than what I took it ask, but it played into how I imagined their fwb era would be because they aren't really friends, just two people using the other. The line, "And if you wanna go to heaven, you should fuck me tonight" particularly makes me think darker reasons behind otherwise consensual actions and it reminds me when I write that these two don't start off liking each other.
Bad Word by Panicland - Probably the closest song to just making me think of Breach/Sova. Just a bit of pain for every bit of passion. Bc i love pain in stories and fanfic :))
Body Talks by The Struts - Back to just liking each other physically stuff. it's about reading body language and feeling like the other person is interested even if they're trying not to show it. I like to imagine Breach teasing a stone-faced Sova until he finally gives in and admits that he's wanted Breach too.
Guillotine by Jon Bellion - it's about loving someone despite all their issues. I used this for an old original story I may restart one day, but I've been reusing the main characters so if you've read all my stuff the names and ppl are familiar. But yeah this song I like to see as a promise between Breach and Sova to have each other's backs.
Just My Type by The Vamps - "Cause I need this more than just a one night stance... times like this call for true romance." Basically driving each other crazy but still liking them. So, with how Breach and Sova differ in how they play/plan/work, they don't get along well. However, they still find things about each other that make it impossible to leave no matter how bad it can get. Yes, this is kinda inspo for a story so again, no spoilers?
Kiss With A Fist by Florence +The Machine - How I see the two of them pre any relationship or just at the start of one. Not much more other than it's fun to write to when thinking about arguments between them.
Never Saw It Coming by The Federal Empire - Just being fine on your own until something just flips the switch and you fall in love. Neither of them saw it coming, but Breach and Sova are start to get closer to each other despite the supposed conflict.
Clear My Head by Daði Freyr - Post fight music for the two of them. It was useful for when I was writing for Tangled in Red. The more recent ch and stuff.
Let Go by Jay Joseph - "I don't really wanna break your heart. How do people ever get this far? Just know that I might stray." Another song I write breakup/angst to for Tangled in Red so I think of tremorbolt now when I listen to it.
Symptoms by The Bad Haircuts - Another "maybe this is bad for me" kinda relationship song, but I like the doubts in the song.
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Hello! I absolutely love your way of writing Prussia! You capture his goofiness but also his insecurities and that is truly beautiful! I have a request, maybe a scenario of sorts. Everyone is writing these stories or senarios of Gil teasing Ludwig to hell and back about liking someone- but I kinda wanna see how it would go if Gil had a HUGE crush and it somehow got out and Ludwig being the younger brother decides to get back at him and decides to tease Gil with no mercy?
Oh my goodness, thank you Lovely! I do try my best~ ^_^;
Really love this request, and especially love any excuse I get to write Gil and Lud interacting with each other. I hope you enjoy!
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This was a nightmare.
A horrible, horrible nightmare.
He was going to wake up any second now...
...or not.
Shit.
He hadn't expected to see you tonight, wasn't expecting to see you again until this weekend. He didn't have anything planned, didn't-
This was fine. It was fine. Everything was fine.
So long as Mei, Mattie, and Michelle kept you distracted, he didn't have to worry about you even noticing him. Which-
Yeah. That was for the best. He couldn't risk tripping over his words and saying something he shouldn't.
Again.
He swirled his wine again- one of Fran's vintage, if he remembered correctly- content to simply hang back and watch, your laughter somehow still reaching him even from this far away. He had a little time to kill anyway; Kirkland and Honda had disappeared somewhere just a few minutes ago, and Antonio was too busy chattering with Scot and Kenya to even give anyone the time of day right now.
He wasn't even going to bother with Franceypants; last he saw the blond was floating around still pretending he was the host for the evening. And Mathius-
Prussia quickly looked away, fighting a laugh.
Mathius was just a little preoccupied.
It was fine though; it was better to be alone anyway. No one to judge how much or how little he was eating, no one to yell at him for half-slouching in his suit, no one to berate him for- God forbid!- using the wrong fucking fork.
It was definitely better to be alone, especially as there was no one who would notice how hard it was to keep his eyes off of you-
"You've been staring."
-apart from his over observant younger brother, apparently.
Trying to act as if everything was normal, Gilbert took a sip of his drink, feigning detachment. "Your point being what exactly?"
He dared to risk a brief glance at the other man, mask firmly in place, daring him to question his authority. Unimpressed, Ludvig simply raised an eyebrow as he sat in an empty chair, soon glancing in your direction. Some sort of knowing look came to the younger's face, and a small smile was threatening to break his carefully crafted composure.
"Why don't you just go talk to them?"
It was bad enough thinking about trying to face you alone, bad enough dealing with the twist in his stomach, bad enough trying to keep himself from overthinking how the weekend ahead was going to go (somehow he had agreed to spend all of Saturday and Sunday with you), and just thinking about it-
It was bad enough trying to keep his act together when it was just the two of you. But the added risk of trying to face you in front of all of them-
"They're enjoying themselves just fine without me."
"Hard to believe you wouldn't want to be the center of attention."
Half-hurt by the comment, Gilbert shot a scathing look at his brother. "I'm not that bad!"
Ludvig offered him another look, and Gilbert paused for a moment to reflect, before begrudgingly attaching an addendum to his statement. "...Usually."
He felt more than heard the taller's snicker, conveniently hidden away by his own drink. Gilbert glared at him, half-debating the pros and cons of fratricide. He miraculously resisted temptation, instead dismissing his irritation in a heavy sigh, before offering a nod towards his companion, tone playful once again.
"No Feli?"
Lud feigned a shudder, a small hint of sarcasm hovering around him. "I finally managed to escape."
Gil fought a laugh, feigning solemnity. "A valiant achievement. I'm proud."
"Oh, halte die klappe," came the reply, Ludbug's tone indicating he wasn't nearly as annoyed as his expression would imply. Gilbert simply snickered to himself, his attention once more drifting your way when he heard your laughter once again.
It seemed Mattie had said something he shouldn't have, your short burst of laughter quickly suppressed as you placed your hand over your mouth, seemingly embarrassed by your reaction to his words. Matthieu, to his credit, seemed positively delighted by it, for a moment his own laughter as carefree as Al's often was.
Gil didn't even realize he was smiling until Lud was smacking his arm, just light enough to grab his attention. Irritated, he rubbed the assaulted spot, glaring. "What!"
Unfazed, Ludwig went straight to the point. "What's with you tonight?"
Denial was a good option, right?
"Nothing. I'm fine."
Oh, yes. Definitely a good option, Gilbert.
He didn't even sound convincing to himself, here.
Lud, unsurprisingly, remained unimpressed. "Somehow, I'm finding it hard to believe you."
Maybe a bit more petulant than necessary, Gil threw a retort right back to him. "You never seem to believe me anyw-"
"Gilbert."
"Ludvig," he taunted in the same tone of voice, conveying both a challenge and a command for the younger to drop the damn subject.
Ludvig sighed deeply, closing his eyes with the effort of the breath. Gil didn't quite catch what he was mumbling to himself, but he could have sworn he heard the word "child" in there somewhere. Part of him resented that, but he also knew it wasn't too far off at the moment.
For a few blessed minutes, silence reigned over their table, giving him a chance to breathe again. He tried his best to look at anyone, anything, that wasn't you, but you were directly in his line of sight, and there were only so many times he could make eye-contact with Ivan before things got awkward.
"You're staring again."
"You can't prove a goddamned thing."
He heard Lud huff a laugh at that, only half-paid attention to whatever the hell the kid was saying. You were talking passionately about something, some of your facial expressions and hand movements-
He found himself grinning when you caught his gaze, your story interrupted just long enough to give him a beaming smile and an excited wave, before you were right back into storyteller mode, one that had Matt shaking his head and hiding his face behind his hand.
"...You know, Gilbert? I'm starting to think you have a crush."
"Shut the fuck up."
Shit.
Shit.
The demand was just as damning as a direct admission, and for all that was still holy in this world, he wished he could take it all back. Especially-
"Don't you dare."
-when his younger brother's grin was filled with unspecified intent.
"Well, isn't that something?"
"West-"
Ludvig was positively beaming now, a superiority to his posture that translated entirely to pure Hell for his senior. Gilbert silently wished the floor would swallow him whole, could feel his cheeks warming despite his best efforts.
No. No no no no no.
The attraction he could deal with. He could lie to himself for a hundred years if he wanted! But-
"Why, brother... You're blushing~"
"I swear to God if you-"
The threat was waved off, Ludvig daring to snicker at him, the little shit! "There isn't a damn thing you could do to me, Gilbert."
Prussia seethed, narrowing his eyes, voice lowering in warning. "Don't push your luck, kid. I helped bring you into this world, and I can just as easily take you back out of it."
Lud rolled his eyes at the too-familiar statement, that fucking grin still on his face. "Of course you could. But then who will you bitch to about 'Bauer Sucht Frau'?"
He should have learned with Freidrich; younger brothers are absolutely not worth the headache they bring. With an irritated huff, he fell back into his seat with a slouch, crossing his arms and scowling at the world at large. "I hope Aster eats your Crocs."
The silence that settled around them this time was far more awkward.
Gil supposed he deserved the teasing; God knows he had dealt plenty to both of his brothers over the years. It was only fair, really, that Karma chose now to bite him in the ass.
"For what it's worth..." Gil refused to even look at the younger, merely continued scowling down at the table. The younger's tone had softened, and somehow that stung even worse than the teasing from earlier.
Ludvig sighed at Gil's lack of reaction, making the elder jump slightly when he dropped a firm hand to his brother's shoulder. "You won't lose much if you just told them."
There was an odd knowing tone to Luddy's words that he didn't care to look into, especially when his first thought, his first concern...
No.
If he told you, then he'd risk losing you, risk losing this friendship he had with you.
He couldn't-
"Just think about it?"
He wouldn't, not in a million years, but he knew he'd never know peace again unless he said otherwise.
"No promises, but I'll try."
"Gut." And then the hand was gone from his shoulder, and Ludvig was sighing tiredly, rising from seat with sheer force of will. "I really should go find Feliciano before he sparks another international incident."
Gil couldn't fight his snort at that, though his arms remained crossed over his chest. Angling his head back to look at Ludbug, he couldn't help the devious smirk that crossed his lips. "If I remember correctly, there were two people involved in said incident."
Lud's expression could have frozen the Mediterranean, but it only made Gil cackle in delight.
It was with obvious struggle that Germany forced away his frustrations, schooling his features back into the mask of stoicism no one really believed anymore. "Will you need a ride home?"
Gil waved him off. "Honestly thinking of ditching early. This party's a bust." At Lud's look- another one meant to question the elder's intelligence- he frowned. "Seriously, Luddy, I'm fine."
Luddy rolled his eyes before finally offering a parting nod. "I'll see you at home then."
"Yeah, yeah," he half-mumbled, before temptation overcame him.
Turning sharply in his seat, Gil put a hand next to his mouth, making sure to amplify his words in as obnoxious a manner as possible: "At least keep your pants on this time!"
Revenge was a dish best served with enough fanfare that the entire banquet hall heard it, made even more exquisite by the clenching fists at his brother's sides, and the very, very, very aggressive sigh Germany used to compose himself, not once sparing Prussia a second glance as he walked away.
Left alone once again, Gil found his gaze, unwillingly, drawn back to you, remaining laughter fading away.
You were sitting now, alone for the first time all night, fatigue clearly showing in your posture.
He sighed to himself, fighting a frown, an idea starting to take shape, one he could already hear Lud-butt encouraging.
Loathe as he was to admit it, his brother may actually have a point.
Maybe it was time to stop being a coward.
He sent the text before he could second-guess himself, a tight knot of anxiety forming in his stomach as you checked your phone, cheeks warming when he forced himself to pretend he was watching Sadiq's arm-wrestling match with Séamus, hyper-aware of the moment you looked his way.
Sometimes the best strategies were the ones sparked by spontaneity.
He could only pray that would be the case tonight.
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Thanks for reading!
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bruhstories · 3 years
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Vogel und Jäger
Summary: You accidentally witness a murder, but the murderer takes pity on you. Pairing: Zeke Jaeger x Fem!Reader (mafia AU) Warnings & Content: murder, language, angst Word Count: 1.7 k
A/N: i've been dying for a mafia au with zeke so here's part one of the series Vogel und Jäger. i have two more chapters drafted, and i'll try to post for this series weekly so i can write some moooore for it.
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Bang!
The blood-curling sound was familiar to your ears. A gunshot — followed by the gurgling of a man.
Bang!
Another shot and the gurgling stopped. Panic settled in your heart, making you jump back and knock the metallic bin which served as a shield against the perpetrators.
Shit.
Footsteps drew closer and you began to pray. Running was futile. Running was always futile. Your throat was dry, your mascara was smeared all over your cheeks from all the tears, lips chapped and bleeding.
Our Father, who art in Heaven...
The cold muzzle of the gun pressed onto your forehead and you shivered, breath hitching, eyes glued to the wet pavement.
Hollowed be thy name...
The Mafia never spared any witnesses, you knew that all too well, even if you happened to be in the wrong place, at the wrong time.
Thy Kingdom come...
"Hey, boss, we got a girl."
"Kill her."
"No, please!" You threw yourself at the feet and mercy of the armed man. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! Please, I'm only nineteen!" Through the sobs, your voice was still melodious, syrupy. So sweet that the boss stopped in his tracks.
Thy will be done...
Another pair of footsteps approached, tentatively, not as eager as the first person. You still haven't looked up, too scared to even blink, to even breathe.
On earth, as it is in Heaven...
"Hand me the gun, Yelena."
"As you wish, boss."
You felt someone crouch down next to you, someone dressed in expensive clothing, by the look of the trousers and polished shoes.
Give us this day our daily bread...
"You've got a very pretty voice." He lifted your chin up with the barrel of the gun, chills running down your spine.
"T-thank y-you..."
"Can you sing, little bird?"
"Y-yes."
And forgive us our trespasses...
Finally, you looked at the perpetrator — spellbinding grey eyes, platinum blonde hair slicked back and a matching goatee. His gaze was either boring or pitiful.
"Lucky you, we're hiring."
As we forgive those who trespass against us...
Anxiety coiled in your stomach, words caught up in your throat. You were still praying, unaware if this was all a sadistic joke or a miracle.
And lead us not into temptation...
Dark lashes fluttered, more tears streaming down your beautiful face as the gears in your head turned in a desperate attempt to understand what was happening.
But deliver us from evil...
"Hiring?" Your voice went up an octave when you saw the small stag pinned to the man's chest. The Jaeger family — the most feared mafia family in Paradis City.
For thine is the kingdom...
"A pretty voice like yours shouldn't go to waste." He got up and offered you his hand.
And the power, and the glory...
Reluctantly, you took it, helping yourself up and chewing your lower lip.
For ever and ever...
"T-thank you!" You told him, slender fingers squeezing his hand tightly. "I owe you m-my life."
Amen.
"Correct. Your life, your soul, your eyes and ears." He walked you to a car and opened the door for you. "Yelena, take us to the club. We've got business to discuss with my little brother."
•°.•°.•°.•°
Your eyes wandered all over the soundproof office, situated one floor above and opposite the stage. Every inch of the bar, the seating areas, everything was visible from that room. You tapped a finger on the wide window, eyes narrowed at the idea that it might, in fact, be bulletproof. These men were not playing, and you were now their property. The door opened and you jolted at the sound of music filling the office as your saviour walked in with two other people.
"This is my younger brother, Eren. You already know Yelena. I assume you know my name."
You nodded.
"Zeke Jaeger."
"Good girl." Zeke was pleased with your answer as he poured himself a glass of bourbon.
"I thought we didn't spare any witnesses." Eren shot you a look that made you regret being alive.
"Settle down, little brother. Tell us your name."
"Y/N, sir. Y/N Y/L/N." You swallowed, fingers fiddling with the hem of your blouse in an attempt to calm your nerves.
"You see, Eren, Y/N can sing." Zeke opened a drawer and pulled a gun out. More guns, more panic. Your eyes widened and your plump lips quivered when he aimed the gun at you with one hand, glass of alcohol in the other. "Sing or I paint the walls with your brains."
Your legs almost gave in at the threat — you knew it wasn't an empty one, and with all the courage you could muster, you closed your eyes and sang the first song that came to your mind, fucking Kiss from a Rose.
Your voice seemed to coat the people with honey, all three of them somewhat relaxing at the sweet sounds coming from your vocal cords.
"See, I told you she can sing." Zeke put the gun back in the drawer and closed it, swirling the bourbon in his glass before finishing it.
"Where do you live?" Eren crossed his arms, still suspicious of you.
"Historia's." You told him, eyes drifting to the ugly fur rug on the floor.
"The orphanage?"
"Yes."
"But you said you're nineteen." Zeke intervened, a brow quirked at you.
"I am. I try to help as much as possible in exchange for a bed and a roof over my head." You explained, eyeing the white couch that looked so incredibly comfortable.
"Just sit down already." Eren scoffed and you rushed to the furniture, mumbling thank you’s over and over.
"And why were you on that street tonight?" Yelena spoke for the first time since you came to the club. You looked at her and she seemed just as suspicious about you as Eren.
"I... the man you k-killed... he was... I'm-"
"A prostitute." Zeke nonchalantly interrupted you.
It was true. People like you, orphans, didn't have the privilege of being properly educated and finding well-paid jobs. Paradis was a jungle, and you did everything you could to survive. Everything.
"Well on the bright side you don't have to do that anymore." Zeke shrugged as he sunk deeper in his chair, feet on the desk, but you sensed he wasn't entirely honest. "You do have a beautiful voice, and our last girl had some... business to attend to, so you'll be taking her place."
"Is this why you called me here?" Eren sighed, leg impatiently shaking.
"Don't be stupid, of course not. I need Armin to prepare this month's tax reports and I need you to keep an eye on the police. They're sticking their nose in our business again, and I want them out of it. You two can go. Y/N, you stay." Zeke waved his hand and Eren and Yelena left, music briefly filling the office again.
You twiddled with the cushion in your lap, waiting for your new boss to say something. Being in that room was nerve-wracking, and you felt the air grow thick. Eventually Zeke took off his glasses, fingers rubbing the bridge of his nose as he sighed.
"Sir?" You dared, voice feeble and frail.
"What?" He clicked his tongue and you instantly regretted speaking.
"Sir, I'm not educated, but I've been on the streets long enough to know that every man or woman has a purpose..." You placed the cushion back. "...and a price. What's my purpose? I doubt it's only to sing."
Zeke nodded, fingers tracing the wooden desk.
"You're right, it isn't just to sing. It's to distract."
"Distract who? And from what?"
"You're asking an awful lot of questions for someone who's just witnessed a murder. You best not go to the police." He narrowed his eyes, piercing your soul. You sighed and walked to the desk, taking a seat opposite Zeke.
"It's not... my first murder." You confessed to him.
"Oh? My dear, you're full of surprises. Pray, tell. Drink?"
"Yes please." You answered, throat dry as a desert. "I can't go to the police. And even if I could, I wouldn't." The drink earned a disgusted look from you, but it was better than nothing. "Two years ago, I ended someone's life. He deserved it, he broke into Miss Historia's orphanage and tried to... to..."
"I understand." Zeke stopped you. "And if you go to the police, they'd do a background check on you." He continued, satisfied that he had a leverage in case you decided to turn against him.
"Exactly. And Historia helped me so much, I wouldn't want to put her in danger. So, I'm asking again, distract who from what?"
Zeke walked to the window, telling you to follow him. He pointed at two men, a tall blond one, and a short brunette one.
"See those two? They're policemen. They work for us, but we suspect they're double agents." He explained before pointing at three other men. "Those we suspect of being Marleyan mobsters. You see, Y/N, we have a lot of enemies. And we must keep our guard up every second of our lives."
You nodded, perfectly understanding Zeke's words. Paradis was a chess board and only the filthy rich played — the rest of you were pawns.
"Sir, you spared my life, and I know I can't ask for anything in return. But please, please don't drag Miss Historia into this. The children there did nothing wrong." Tears pooled at your eyes, rolling down your cheeks and you wiped them with the back of your hand. "I swear my loyalty to you."
"For someone uneducated, you're extremely clever." Zeke's voice was serious. You half-smiled at the compliment, but you knew the mess you got yourself into cut your lifespan severely. "Can you shoot?"
"No, sir."
"It's alright, Mikasa will teach you. Sleep on the couch tonight, I'll have Yelena bring you a blanket. Tomorrow you'll swear an oath in front of the family. And if you want to protect Historia, you'll move out of the orphanage."
You nodded. You understood that mingling with the mafia endangered everyone you loved, but you couldn't stop yourself from crying the entire night. Historia was but a few months older than you, yet she gladly took you in when she invested in that orphanage. Now you had to leave everything behind for her safety — and yours.
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Loki x Reader
1989, chapter 3
"Her heart belonged to someone who couldn't stay"
Summary: It's hard to find the one, but even if you do find him it's always going to be a daily struggle to make it work. Can you even make it work after he broke your heart? The answer to that is complicated, but it all started when you found each other again in the Stark tower- and that's where our story begins.
Word count: 5,300
Warnings: mild angst, violence, badly written missions(I'm sorry), fluff
A/N: this song is so fun, and as always with this series I suggest listening to the song of the chapter. Let me know if you want to be tagged!
A/N: a big thank you for @chrissquares for making these amazing dividers! And thank you @nacho-bucky for beta reading this!
No one is allowed to repost my writing or steal or copy my work! Reblog on tumblr is fine.
Series masterlist
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"Hydra is moving fast and advancing, tomorrow they are going to make a move on a not so secret lab in Germany which works on energy cores, we do not know the exact thing that they are after but we are going to stop them from getting it. Reindeer games you are quite familiar with Germany so try not to take over it this time." Tony projected then the layout of the place. You didn't dare look at Loki, you already knew the scowl he had on his face, barely distinct but you knew it was there.
"Why can't we just warn them today and ambush Hydra?" Clint asked from the end of the table. But you didn't look at him.
You strategically chose your sit, no temptation to look at Loki, not returning the looks that you knew he would send you. No memory of just earlier today. Hell, you still felt the ghost of his lips on yours.
"We suspect that with the knowledge, they might try to strike a deal with Hydra and in exchange of money, they will give them the supply they want. It's safer for us if they start on bad terms and we step in to make sure it all ends."
"We only got a handful of the weapons they created, so be aware of that and stay safe. That lab is intricate and big. Bucky and Clint will be on guard outside, take out any Hydra agents that may lurk guarding outside. The rest of us will spread out to protect and evacuate the relatively innocent folks, and the others take out the Hydra super guilty folks. Point Break, Horny Head," you bit back a laugh. "Try to see if there is anything Asgardian in the Hydra weapons."
You were the first out of the door after it ended. You were not going to wait to see what will happen. You almost felt like a prey, his prey, and he was about to catch you any second now.
"Y/N, are you not going to stay?" Steve asked when you were about to head out making you turn to face him, your eyes couldn't help but momentarily wander who Loki who thankfully had his eyes lowered. "We were going to review the mission details."
"Oh no, I'm feeling a little tired today," you tried to hold Steve's eyes but you knew he knew you better than anyone here, well almost. "Just fill me in tomorrow."
You did not see the look Steve gave the raven haired god when he watched you leave.
How could Loki not stare?
Just a couple of days ago his life was empty of you, and then you entered it again knocking the breath out of him just like the first time he saw you.
And just a couple of hours ago you were in his arms and he was kissing you like he did that one time he came home to you after a hard day with his father, and hel, you kissed him like you did that time he came back from a long fight after a week of being absent from your touch. Your kisses always reminded him what he was fighting for, despite the treatment from his family, he fought through to get to his solace, to get to you.
And now he is back to nothing.
And you are back in an empty room where his presence still lingered. Just like the night he left.
Out on the hanger, you were on the open quinjet ready to go when you felt a presence behind you.
"What exactly can you do?" you turned to him after you tightened the dagger strap on your leg.
"Why does it matter?" you went further inside the quinjet, at the very least you didn't want wondering eyes on you.
"I want to know what happened to you." The question made you look back at him. You couldn't figure him out now, he was just as different as you were but that's not it- he left you, no explanation, and now he is here kissing you and wondering about you as if he actually cares. But then again, why would he leave if he cared?
"I don't know what happened, I started to feel bad and I thought it was just a virus or something, but then I started seeing things… and then I just had these powers." You sighed, there were too many incidents before you understood what was happening.
"Nothing prompted it?" he pressed. He was almost towering over you now as you stood against the wall.
"No, not that I know of at least."
"What are they?"
"I can manipulate people's vision and emotions. I alter their reality as I like and control what they'll feel." You looked down then. "That's what I did to you."
"You put me in the invasion in New York, making me scared." You only nodded to him, you didn't like using your powers but sometimes they are needed. As if he read your mind. "You know that it's-"
You saw Natasha and Tony walk into the quinjet then, followed by the two supersoldiers who found you in the corner. You saw the strange look on their faces.
"I know exactly what it is Loki, now we need to focus on the mission." You walked around him and went away, sitting in the co pilot seat next to Natasha.
"Anything interesting happened today?"
"No Nat, nothing. Let's just get to that lab." You helped her start everything, ignoring the look she gave you at the answer.
"Thor?" Steve called to the god as the two went aside to talk out of earshot.
It was colder than you thought. Now you could only pray to any god out there, maybe Greek just strictly out of spite, that the lab will be much warmer.
"At this point, I think we lost the element of surprise boys." Natasha said through the comms as you drove towards the lab, snow covering the ground mostly white but as you got closer and more agents appeared it started to look red.
Bucky and Clint were on top of the trucks, shooting the guys that were securing the lab building from a distance.
With Thor and Loki taking down the guards on the tower, blasts came from besides you.
"Bucky, on our right, take them out." You yelled to Bucky who turned and blasted the vehicle and the agents in it.
"They're out, now could you just try to keep us steady? I don't want to fall off of this thing." He complained as you made another twisted turn, avoiding getting wrecked into a tree or a guard tower.
"You're a goddamn supersoldier, I'm sure you'll manage. Plus, it seems like we will have to leave the vehicle behind soon." You looked at the blockade just before you and Natasha.
"In three?" she asked and you nodded to her, pulling out your guns and shooting the men in front of you.
Then the blockade hit the cars. Bucky, Clint, Natasha, and you jumped out of it and over the blockade, knocking some of the guards.
You looked up and saw Loki fight. You've never seen him fight before.
He brought down yet another tower, pulling out knives out of nowhere and then disappearing behind the guards and he knocked the tower to the ground, its wooden form breaking down in pieces.
"Y/N look out!" you heard Steve calling out to you, he came in with his motorcycle, knocking out a Hydra agent who was about to attack you.
"Thanks Steve!" you called him and went to move away and fight.
"No, hop on, I need coverage." You nodded to him despite his bowl of crap. Hopping on the motorcycle behind him, you shot whoever was in sight. You got closer to the lab and in front of you a new rush of agents lined up. "Thor, we need you here."
"Oh no," you groaned. "You're going to do something really stupid, aren't you?"
"No."
"He always does something stupid, Y/N you should know him better." Bucky retorted and you laughed.
Thor came up besides the two of you. Getting down behind some rocks you guarded them.
"It seems like they are lining up for us."
"How kind of them" Thor raised his hammer and Steve his shield and it pounded as they hit each other, the energy sending the guards and the tank flying, obstructing them and their weapons.
Almost at the lab, a tall man stood in front of you, he had a weird shaped weapon in his hand, before you could advance and use your powers on him, the sky suddenly turned dark, you saw lightning and then his pointed weapon shot lightning energy towards you. It was too fast but you were whisked away before it could hit you. One of Loki's hands covered your head while the other snaked around your middle.
He pulled a long spear and was about to shoot it forward when he saw the man had disappeared.
"Brother have you seen that?" Loki called to Thor who ran next to the two of you. Loki still held you, but you pushed him away with a small thank you, looking at Thor instead and taking a few steps backwards.
"What was that?" he looked at his brother.
"It can't be, I destroyed it long ago." Thor shook his head.
"You saw what happened, it had to be it. Nothing else could do it." The blue eyes turned to you. "Are you okay darling?"
"I'm just fine, I can take care of myself." Pulling out your own knives, you saw Natasha and Pietro up ahead. "And don't call me that."
After you left Thor came up to his brother.
"What are you doing? What is going on with her? Loki were you-"
"That is not your business, stay focused on the fight. We need to find that weapon they used."
The inside of the lab was quieter than outside. Tony and F.R.I.D.A.Y detected the German scientists and you split up to look for them, and hopefully take whatever energy core Hydra was here for.
Jumping a story down, it was weirdly quiet.
"Hey guys, I'm in the east wing, something feels wrong." You waited but nothing came back but static, "Guys? Fuck."
Turning around you saw Hydra agents coming out of a door you hadn't seen before, they started to shoot at you, coming from both of your side, you used one guy for coverage, making them shoot at each other. Locking eyes with one of them, he soon fell with a scream, eyes foggy. You slit the throat of the guy you used and focused on him instead. In a field of enemies, he got up and shot everyone he saw around him. Once satisfied you let him fall down alongside all the others he shot.
You saw other agents coming your way but there he was again, Loki pulled you behind him and shot daggers forward and duplicating himself. You saw a couple running away to what you only assumed was another secret door but you lost them as you turned a corner.
"Guys, there's nothing here." The captain voiced through the comms.
"The comms are working again, great." You sighed.
"What do you mean there's nothing here?"
"I'm saying that this was a trap, there wasn't anything special that these scientists were working on, this is not what we thought it was."
"How could we have been wrong here?"
"I don't know but we have to go now, I don't like this."
Soon enough on the quinjet you tended to Clint's wound, he took a nasty shot. And your wounds weren't near as bad.
"Could they have had something that seemed insignificant to them but Hydra needed it for something?" you heard Tony talk to Steve.
"No, they weren't working on anything right now. The lab was for research, not for weapons."
You picked up on another conversation then.
"We have to tell father what we saw, Loki."
"No, I searched the building, and I didn't see the guy nor his weapon. Father will just send an army here when we don't even know what it is we are searching for." Loki reasoned.
You just tried to clear your mind and focus on helping your friend.
The sunset painted the rooms a lovely shade of orange from the windows. It was quiet as people were either resting, or in the infirmary. You walked through the hallway leading to the Avengers elevator to take you to your room.
He came in front of you from the corner.
"Y/N,"
"Hi." You didn't know what to say now, he saved your life twice today.
"Are your wounds alright?" you let him inspect your hands and arms. This was new to him too, seeing you fighting like this.
"Don't worry, they'll heal." He still didn't take his eyes off of you, his delicate petal out here fighting and risking her life.
"Let me heal them." You leaned on one wall as he stood in front of you, covering your wounds with his hand. You heard him mumble a chant and your skin tingled. You told yourself it was from the spell.
Then he looked up at you, and the look in his eyes was one straight out of your daydreams.
"I should just tell you to leave but-" your breath shuddered, your mind trying to make peace with your heart's will.
"I never stopped thinking about you and I." He admitted, you put your hands on his chest and slowly they slipped up to his shoulders.
"I heard that you have some other girl now, I heard they'll be a wedding soon." The pain in your voice did not go unnoticed.
"It's true, but I never thought I'd find you again. That was arranged, nothing happened yet and nothing will happen."
"I never stopped thinking about you too." You bit your lip and pulled him closer to you. "We know exactly where this leads, why go in circles?"
"My love, we can just call it even. We can't ignore this forever." His hand caressed your cheek now, you leaned into him.
"We're always going to come back, aren't we?"
"I'm afraid so, my dear." Your lips finally met, and you let every worry and fear go away, kissing him back with just as much passion and love.
And there it was again.
The first kiss.
"Will you stop messing it up?" you laughed at Loki as he tried to get the music player to work until he finally gave up and let you do it.
"That thing is just stupid midgardian technology, there is no use to it!" he complained as you magically managed to get it to work, a soft melody fell upon the room.
"I finally got you to agree to teach me, this is far from useless!" you laughed as you came up to him, playing with your dress as you twirled in it. You moved the furniture so you could dance in your living room.
"I don't understand why you even want to learn it, no one on Midgard knows it and it is not like you have balls around here anymore." It was quite barbaric to his taste.
"Yes but I want to learn this dance, I bet it is super pretty and elegant," just like you, you thought but didn't speak up. "I bet the balls there are amazing."
Loki showed you the right position and took your hand. He brought you close and prayed that you won't be able to hear his heartbeat.
"They are. Maybe one day I'll take you to see it," you had a bright smile on your face then. "You know, just so that these lessons won't be for nothing."
"Of course, whatever you say." You held onto him tighter as you almost fell. "I expect a nice dress too, I can't come to Asgard with a human earth dress."
He laughed at you, but it turned into a groan when you stepped on his feet, supposedly it was accidental.
"While you look beautiful in this dress, I bet you'll look just as beautiful in an Asgardian dress," you looked up at him surprised, you forgot how close you were, hel you forgot completely about the dance as you just stood there and swayed back and forth. "Like a true Asgardian goddess."
Loki didn't mean to say that but once it left his lips he couldn't even feel embarrassed about it, no he didn't even feel vulnerable when he saw the way you looked back at him. You moved your stare between his lips and his eyes.
"Do you really think that?" you whispered, scared to break whatever it is you have built in this room, in this moment.
"Absolutely." He closed the small distance and he already knew that he was a goner, you took his heart and mended it with your own. He could feel your passion in it, in your first kiss. He'll be damned if it will be your last. You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him ever so closer, deepening the kiss. He smiled then before you pulled away just a bit, a huge smile graced your face and you lit up the room. Your red lipstick was smeared a bit, your bottom lip was swollen, and he wondered if he ever told you how much he liked it when you put this lipstick on.
"This was inevitable, wasn't it?" the smile never left your face and he didn't know what he did to deserve you.
"I'm afraid so." You couldn't keep in the giggle that escaped you, this man will be the death of you, you were sure of it.
He had never felt as loved as he did in that moment.
The kiss after a bad meeting.
Loki got to your home as soon as he could, he couldn't wait to be in your arms. His father was- well, his father as usual. He just needed some peace right now, and that was you.
He walked into your apartment, he saw your computer open on your desk with various papers all around it but he didn't see you.
"Darling?" Loki called you and you pocked your head out of the kitchen. You immediately took off the apron and went to him, he smiled at you even though he knew you'd see right through it- you always did.
When you reached him, you gave him a tight hug, playing with his hair until you felt him relax under you.
Then you pulled back and kissed him so delicately but it was all he needed. Your kisses surely had some magic laced in them, because you somehow made him feel completely content.
"I love you." He whispered to you.
"You what?" you must've heard wrong. You told him you loved him months ago, but you understood that he needed more time, it was harder for him to open up like that. But while he didn't say it, he surely made sure you felt it that night. Sleeping was not included in that.
"I love you." He repeated and you smiled, going to say it back, "Do I smell smoke?"
The kiss after he came back from war after a week of not seeing you.
The moment you saw the green shimmer from the living room, you got out of your bed and all but jumped on your boyfriend as he took off his armor. He managed to balance himself and you, but then you pulled away from the hug and attacked him with a bruising kiss, you gave him easy access to your tongue and tried to pull him closer by his hair.
"I missed you so much." You leaned your head against his forehead, you both panted heavily. "Are you okay? Did you get hurt?"
He could see the moment the light bulb in your head lit up and he chuckled, he shook his head but he let you see for yourself, he knew it would calm you down.
You lifted his shirt up and saw the small cuts on his stomach.
"You're not okay! Loki come on, I need to clean these cuts." You dragged him to the bathroom and pulled out your first aid kit.
"Darling, I'm a god, these small cuts don't affect me." He rubbed your back but you didn't listen to him.
"And I'm your girlfriend so shut up and sit down. Maybe you got hit by a poisoned spear or something that is like- I don't know what's up there but I don’t care!" he saw how worried you were, eyes bloodshot, he hated to leave you. So he nodded and let you take care of him, his hand raked through your hair calming you down. He had never felt more cared for, or loved.
You swore at him all kinds of curses, telling him to stay safe and be more cautious.
He swore he was going to marry you someday.
Asgard felt different now. After you went back to your room, with a smile that you tried to hide but he caught, he and Thor went back to Asgard- they needed to check some stuff to make sense of what they saw. It was night now so luckily most of the people were sleeping. Most but not all.
As the princes walked through the corridors, lady Iyllir was there with her maids, which she quickly pushed away when she saw them.
"My princes, I am so glad to see you back in Asgard, it's almost midnight now how come you are still with your armor?" she frowned at the cuts and light bruises she saw in the dim light.
"We just got back, and we are both very tired so we are going-" Thor put a hand, keeping Loki in place.
"It is really late, I'm sure my brother will be happy to escort you back to your chambers?"
"Oh that would be great, thank you my prince, have a good night!" she bowed to Thor and took Loki's outstretched arm. He sent a nasty glare at his brother but walked with Iyllir towards her chambers.
"I hope you are okay, your cuts still haven't healed." She took his hand, gently examining the cuts.
"I assure you I am fine, these cuts will be healed soon. Midgardian weapons cannot wound me badly." He gave her a smile and she only nodded.
"I miss our time together, you are great company. I hope you are staying longer this time."
"We will be staying for a couple of days I assume."
"Oh, great, so tomorrow we can go to that nice garden that you said you will take me to!" she gave him a kiss on the cheek quickly before turning around and walking into her room. "Goodnight, my prince."
He groaned to himself, he did promise to take her there. He pondered about it as he went back to his room. The lady and he had quite a good time- that was before you came back into his life. He walked the long way around to his room.
"This place really is beautiful like you said." The redhead looked around at the flowers that were around them and the tall bushes that created a barrier from the outside of the garden.
"They have been using magic to grow the bushes around the entire ground, making them into walls of this place." He remembered what his mother told him about this place.
"Thank you for bringing me here, I never knew this place existed." She smiled at him and sat on the ground next to him.
"It's my pleasure," and for a moment those barriers made him go back to a couple of months ago, when he would wander around in thought about the lovely lady his father brought for him to meet, soon to arrange a marriage. "Did you manage to finish the book I gave you?"
"I did, it was really interesting. I find history fascinating so the book was splendid to read."
They talked like this for a few more hours, talking about books and exchanging stories.
Before he knew it, Iyllir got closer and closer to him, sitting right beside him. The silver tongued prince went silent when he saw her lean in, all the while smirking at the look on his face before returning her gaze to his lips.
He considered his options. You were his only love, perhaps you always will be, but will you stay after all that is over? Can he still come back to you? He remembered the reason he left, the moment was scorched in his mind but now things were different. Maybe this time he will be able to stay, would you let him? After all, all you agreed about was temporary, just for old times' sake.
Their lips touched now.
"I can't." Loki said, before leaning back from the offended girl in front of him.
"Why not? Our parents brought us together to marry."
"Perhaps yes, but while you are great company I am not ready for this yet. We should go back, I have a meeting to attend to soon."
When they got up, she refused to take his hand. It was a silent walk back.
"Thor, are you sure you checked it all?"
"I did Loki, the vaults were lacking multiple weapons. They were old ones. Do you think you could tell exactly what is missing?"
"I'll do my best." The vaults closed behind them and Loki started to scour the items present, while trying to find the missing.
"I saw you were taking a walk with lady Iyllir today."
"What about it?" Loki went deeper into the place, looking at the empty stands and mentally taking note of all the items that should be there.
"I also saw you were around Lady Y/N a lot. You still haven't told me how you know her." Thor studied his brother, following him to the big closet.
"I was on earth and I happened to meet her, I did tell you."
"I'm not as big of a fool as you think I am, I can see the way you look at her. And the way she looks at you."
Loki didn't know if he was relieved or frightened as he found a way out of this conversation when he opened the doors.
"My wand, Thor my wand is gone!" Loki's eyes went wide alongside Thor when they saw the other weapon that was missing.
"This is ridiculous, why is he throwing a party in the middle of this mess? We can't waste time Thor, we need to tell them what those Hydra mortals have." Loki scowled as he got through the people dancing in the crowded room.
"Will you keep it down Loki? These mortals don't know a thing. I'm sure Tony will listen to us when we find him.
Looking around the room, he saw several other faces he recognized, and then he saw you- grinning and laughing with a guy he did not recognize. One of the mutants- was her name Wanda? She came up to you with a hug, and joined in on the conversation. Maybe it wasn't like what he thought. He hoped so, when you looked straight at him. In the daze, he looked at the tight little skirt you wore, his mind was lost and didn't notice when you reached him. The crowd seemingly closing around you, a barrier that let you be alone without watching eyes.
"See something you like?" you smiled at him, he couldn't help but return it, not ashamed of looking at every inch of your body before answering you.
"Yes, very much" he put his hands on your waist, bringing you closer. You put your arms on his shoulders, keeping him close.
"We said we will start anew, right?"
"Yes." You leaned your head on his chest, and the two of you started swaying not along to the music but to your own heartbeats.
"I missed this, Loki. I missed us." You confessed to him, he didn't have to answer, you knew.
"Did I ever tell you how much I love that red lipstick of yours?" you chuckled and lightly kissed the side of his. He sighed at the contact and your heart fluttered at the red mark your lipstick left on him.
He brought your chin up with his hands and didn't spare a second before attaching his lips to yours. He didn't know how he survived without your kisses, without your touch. He actually did know, it was hel. He would go sleepless at night, conjuring up figures of you beside him but that could only help so much. When he missed you most, he would go to Heimdall and ask about you. He was the only one that knew after all, he was the only one who knew about his only weakness. But then so many things have happened, some distracted him from the loss of you until he got used to it, and some… some he had to keep you in his mind just to survive through the very worst things that were inflicted upon him.
But now that you were in his arms again, he knew it will be even harder to let go of you if you asked him to leave afterwards. And he made sure to show you how much he still loved you in the kiss until you parted and looked at him, your eyes begging.
"Take me home, Loki. Take me away."
With the temptation, it was something he couldn't deny the both of you.
The minute he teleported the two of you to your room, your lips were back on his, pulling him with you until you hit the bed.
You made quick work on taking off the white shirt he wore, as he unzipped your skirt, letting it fall to the ground before he picked you up and laid you beneath him on the bed.
You looked up at him, feeling whole again remembering all those other times you were just like this, he always had the same James Dean type daydream look in his eyes, right before he made sure you remembered who your heart belonged to.
He promised himself to show you how much he missed you, and make up for all those years apart.
You spent the next few hours devoting yourself to each other, you were sure everyone could hear you scream his name in pleasure. But you didn't find it in yourself to care when he made you feel this good.
"What do you mean you didn't get the weapon?" the agent backed away, scared.
"We didn't expect it, and besides- he was there!" begging for his life, he hoped he will get out of these woods alive, the weapon in front of him was powerful enough.
"Who was?"
"There were more of them than usual, we didn't expect him to be there- we couldn't get the weapon!"
"You will be given one last chance to do this right, if you fail I will make sure you pay the price for it."
He was then handed the weapon, wrapped in a cloth.
"Do you remember how to use it?" the agent considered it, before he grabbed it in its hilt.
"And this stone heals it, right?"
"Exactly, use it when I'm gone."
He did just that, pulling out the sword, examining the weight of its powers, looking at the gem stone, then turning back and stabbing the other agent behind him. He let him bleed, before finally taking out the stone, and he watched in wonder and the wound healed. This will be fun.
Tags: @ayybtch @buckys-other-punk @chaoticpete @madcrazy50 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @the-departed-potato @rogerrhqpsody @onceupona-happilyeverafter-love
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dysphorie · 2 years
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fanfic 20 questions game
(I'm gonna answer this solely from my current ao3 account, rather than including my old account like i did last time)
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
30!
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
167,855
3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
Naruto, marvel (stucky), star wars (kylux), dc, slipknot, motionless in white, technically marilyn manson tho I tend to see those characters as independent contractors lmao
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
Filth: kinktober 2019 (127)
The last temptation of chris (80)
See you in hell, boys (64)
Crash into me (60)
The lost art of keeping a secret (53)
5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?
I do, usually. Like i make a concerted effort to, but I've totally dropped the ball on my last fics and it's been so long that I don't feel like I can go back and reply to them now :/
6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
Oh god. I write so many angsty endings. Probably "neckfreak" or "strange glue"
7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?
I'm gonna go with "of recklessness and water", and "see you in hell, boys"
8. Do you write crossovers? If yes, what’s the craziest thing you’ve written?
Eh, i think atm I've only really written slipknot x manson members, and none of that has been that crazy tbh, but i have a BIG crossover event coming in the future of a fic, and that's kinda exciting
9. Have you ever received hate on a fic?
Uh aye, it's me we're talking about here lmao
10. Do you write smut? If so what kind?
I basically exclusively write smut, and idk how to answer what kind. Like, the smutty kind?
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Thankfully not (not a whole fic anyway), and if i ever did i would go absolutely tonto on whoever was stupid enough to try
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Not that i know of
13. Have you ever co-written a fic?
Hell yeah! All the time, mostly with @wolfbad! And i want to write with @incredizort again
14. What’s your all time favorite ship?
Ugh this changes all the damn time. But probably 4/7
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
One where chris has jim prisoner in his basement. I just...can't get a grip on it
16. What’s your writing strengths?
I write good porn apparently. Idk what else, answers on a postcard plz
17. What’s your writing weaknesses?
(I'm leaving marina's answer here because yes same)
fucking pacing. also i can only write one thing in slightly different flavors but don't look at my fics too closely or you'll see they're all the same exact fic with various names plugged in
18. What’s your thought on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?
I wouldn't personally because i have exactly nil skill with languages other than english and i don't want to get things wrong, but like idc if other people do it
19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?
Excluding the stuff i wrote in school that i didn't realise til recently counted as fanfic, it's naruto
20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?
"In another life", always
I tag @skin--slave @incredizort @wolfbad @ijustdontknowsometimes @acidtonguez and anyone else who wants to do it!
(And I'm leaving cady's comment at the bottom here)
If any of you ever have any questions about any of my fics, or want to ask questions about details in my AU's, please send me an ask! I would love to discuss further.
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santastic · 3 years
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the big, bad wolf || hwang hyunjin oneshot
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》》 pairing: hyunjin x female reader
》》 summary: every year, you and the boys celebrate halloween with a party at hyunjin's - who just so happens to be your mortal frenemy. every year, you all dress up. this year, however, you decide to make it a bit more interesting: everyone picks an outfit for their random secret santa partner. it seems like a bit of innocent fun, but felix has an idea...
》》 word count: 2.4k
》》 genre/tags: halloween au, not quite e2l but e2 like...sexy tension???, suggestive themes (mostly just implications), a little bit of crack lmao
》》 warnings: cliche cheesy dirty flirting (come on hyunjin you're better than this), thicc romantic and sexual tension, reader is a simp in denial, suggestive themes, implied smut at the end, talk of biting but no actual biting, reader has dom vibes, hyunjin is bold until someone else is bolder
》》 notes: my first oneshot on this blog! I already wrote a halloween drabble, but I felt like writing something bigger than that and my friend (I see u vi) inspired me by suggesting some spicy hyunjin content. n e ways, happy halloween everyone! and if u don’t celebrate halloween, I hope u have a lovely weekend <3
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Halloween is always fun with your friend group. I mean, it's fun anyway - lots of cheap candy, neighbourhood celebrations, an excuse to get way too drunk - it's just a lot more fun with eight other crackheads.
You guys have a sort of tradition going by now, even though each year is a bit different. Hyunjin throws the party, Minho brings the alcohol and hides it from Chan until it's too late to stop everyone from getting shitfaced, Jeongin and Felix bring ungodly amounts of candy, and Jisung is a skeleton (literally every single year - it started when you called Tate Langdon's skeleton makeup hot, and it never ended).
Everyone (except Jisung) keeps their costume a secret - unless they're Chan and Felix, in which case they do couple costumes and keep it a secret from everyone else. Sometimes you even decide on a theme, like the year before the last, where everyone was supposed to dress as their favourite Pokemon. This inevitably led to intense fighting roleplays to assert dominance as your respective type, and in order to spare your reputation in the neighbourhood, you decided the next theme would be a little less wild.
This year, the theme was 'secret Santa costumes', meaning you each picked a random name from a hat to decide who you would be buying a costume for and a few days before Halloween, you were given your own costume to wear to the party by whoever pulled your name from the hat of destiny.
Technically that's not how secret Santa works, but no one questions Chan when it comes to holiday business.
You just so happened to get Jisung, and while the temptation to keep the skeleton thing going just for the meme was definitely there, you ultimately decided he should be a classic bedsheet ghost - except with no eye or hand holes cut out. You know, to add a little sprinkle of chaos to his already very chaotic life.
The lovely boy who decided your spooky fate was Felix, who had coincidentally been in charge of buying Hyunjin’s costume too - when you asked why, he said it was because the number of people was uneven, so he had kindly volunteered to take on an extra. You had honestly expected him to pick something weird or wild for you, so you were quite surprised by the outfit he had settled on.
"Is this...little red riding hood?" you had asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you stared at the dress and hood in your hands.
"Yep! I saw it the other day and I thought it would be nice to go for one of the classics, you know?" he had explained, smiling as if he was ever so proud about his decision. Something about the hint of mischief in his eyes made you suspicious, but you had let it slide. "You don't mind, right?"
No, you didn't mind. You had given Jisung a ghost costume, so you didn’t really have room to speak on the originality of Felix’s decision. Besides, the dress didn’t look too cheap, nor did it look especially short, and the hood-cape made you feel way too powerful for someone wearing a $20 Target costume.
So you really didn't mind at all, until it came to the day of the party. Now, as you stand in the doorway to Hyunjin’s apartment, you suddenly mind a lot more.
”Lee Felix, I’m going to decorate the lawn with your fucking intestines, oh my god!” you whisper-yell to the boy who conveniently manages to dart away with the excuse of needing to help Jeongin open all the candy bags. Your angry eyes follow his retreating blue form - Chan picked his outfit this year, and of course he decided Felix should be an Among Us character.
Everyone in the group knows about the slight tension (read: obvious beef) between you and Hyunjin. Technically speaking, you’re friends. He invites you to his parties, you hang out with him when he’s with the boys. It’s just that neither of you can stand each other, because you’re both very bold and even more stubborn.
Whenever the two of you are together, you bicker like children and it’s pretty much endless. You could probably throw insults (and the occasional murder threat) at each other all day if the other members didn’t interrupt, and on those days you’d be more than happy to teach Hyunjin a lesson with a nice, strong punch in the nose if the opportunity were ever to present itself.
So, with this in mind, it’s quite clear why you’re planning Felix’s murder when you see Hyunjin walking around as the big, bad wolf.
You’re genuinely considering sneaking out the front door before anyone else sees you and running back to your apartment (because Felix just so happens to be your ride home), but fate decides to mess with you and suddenly, Hyunjin locks eyes with you from across the living room.
The way a huge smile instantly graces his pretty face sends a rush of butterflies, followed by anger, through you as you stare back at him. His clip on wolf ears are admittedly quite cute, but the fake fangs he’s wearing send your thoughts in a very different direction. As he makes his way over, you suddenly wish you had followed Felix to the kitchen - at least they keep the alcohol in there. In his living room, you’ve got no choice but to deal with Hyunjin while sober.
”Well, would you look at that? Seems like I found my little red riding hood.” he teases with a wink, leaning against the wall beside the door.
When you scoff at him, he gives you another big grin and you can’t help but stare at the fangs again. The vibrant blue contact lenses he’s wearing make his gaze feel intense even when he’s smiling, and the way his long, blonde hair falls freely gives him a glow that’s both angelic and positively demonic. He looks so annoyingly handsome, as per usual; if only his personality wasn’t the personification of the words ‘cocky asshole’. You can’t help but think it’s a huge waste of beauty.
“Excuse me-” you begin, ready to start the first round of arguing, but he cuts you off like the annoying brat he is.
“You’re excused,” he says, thinking his comment was very smart, and if it wasn’t a night meant for fun and games, you might’ve killed him on the spot.
“Fine, excuse you. I’m not your little red riding hood. In fact, I’m not your anything, thank you very much,” you snap, brushing past his tall figure as you head to the table the boys have set up to the side. There’s an array of Halloween-themed food, prepared by Chan, and you settle for a red velvet cupcake decorated with black frosting and what you assume are meant to be cat ears poking out of it.
“Right, sure, but we’re still matching tonight. It’s kind of like-”
This time, you cut him off. “It’s not like Chan and Felix. It’s not. We’re not wearing couple costumes, so don’t say it.”
He shuts his mouth (finally) and you take it as your cue to leave before he says something else to piss you off. Unfortunately, he seems to have the desire to ruin your night further and chooses to follow you on your journey.
“So anyway, I guess this was Felix’s plan, right?” He gestures to your costumes. “Unless you had something to do with it, that is.”
You don’t bother to address the second part of what he said and instead just nod, scanning the room for the previously mentioned mastermind. As soon as you can get your hands on that boy, you swear you’ll slaughter him for subjecting you to Hyunjin’s torturous teasing all night.
“He was already on thin ice after trying to tell me Bulbasaur is a better starter than Charmander, but now he’s actually dead to me,” you growl out once you spot him sitting beside Minho, laughing happily with his classic red solo cup and a slice of chocolate cake. Jeongin sits beside them, tearing open bags of candy with no assistance from Felix, because of course he was lying about helping him earlier.
Hyunjin laughs softly and you curse your heart for skipping a beat at the sound. Sometimes it feels like your head hates Hyunjin while your body is stupid enough to like him, and it’s part of the reason why you hate talking to him so much. Every time you stop throwing insults and sass at him and instead sit back and listen to what he has to say, a part of you realises you don’t exactly have a proper reason for disliking him. He’s not all that bad, and sometimes you even find yourself laughing at his jokes and witty remarks.
But you’d really rather not go through the endless cycle of those thoughts right now, especially when the cause of your problems is standing beside you eating a chocolate bar.
“I have to say, though,” you comment as you turn to look him up and down, “the big, bad wolf concept suits you pretty well.”
Before he can accept the compliment, you continue. “You’re both big, hairy beasts who dress like grandmas.”
The obvious offence on his face is so satisfying you almost wanna snap a photo to reflect on this moment in the future, but you refrain from doing so. He would just pose anyway, and the photo would probably end up making your stupid heart flutter again.
“Well, at least you think I’m big. Besides, if dressing like a grandma gets me closer to eating you, then I suppose it’s a sacrifice I’ll have to make,” he whispers in a husky, seductive voice that kind of makes you want to choke-slam him, but you suspect he might enjoy that anyway.
It angers you when he makes flirty comments like that, because as annoying as they are and despite you knowing full well he only says it to get under your skin, it still makes your heart race every time. Maybe in another universe, Hyunjin is a sweet boy who innocently flirts with you and brings you roses instead of a big, bad bitch who’s just acting like a horny teenager. Annoyingly enough though, you think you’d fall for him either way.
You turn away with the intention of finally escaping to the kitchen to grab something to drink, hoping to settle the thoughts dancing around your head, but he reaches for your wrist. The feeling of his fingers pressing warmth into your skin just makes your head spin even more, and you’re so distracted you don’t pull away from him.
"Aw, don’t run away now. Are you scared of me, little red? There’s no need to be, I’m just joking. I won’t bite unless you beg me to."
You pull your arm back as soon as the words leave his mouth. Hyunjin has a lot of things (a severely irritating personality, a stupidly handsome face for such an asshole, a loud voice solely meant for pissing you off on a daily basis, the list goes on), but the thing he definitely has most is the fucking audacity.
However, the most annoying part by far is the way you feel your face heat up when you register the last thing he said. You’d rather die than let him make you flustered, so you shake your head slightly to clear those thoughts from your mind and look him in the eye again.
"Scared? Me?" you scoff, staring him down with a steady glare and if he was anyone else, he'd probably shiver in fear.
Unfortunately, he is not anyone else. He is Hwang Hyunjin, and Hwang Hyunjin does not shiver; he beams with a smug grin and makes your blood boil.
"Mhm. Look at you. You’re basically dressed as my prey tonight, babe." He purrs the pet name like the absolute fuckboy he is. "And sure, the real you is feisty, but you're all bark and no bite."
The overly confident, proud smirk on his face makes him look like a damn peacock flaunting its feathers, and you decide then and there that you'll do anything to get rid of it.
"All bark," you echo his words, walking towards him slowly, "and no bite, huh?"
You swear you see his eyes widen for a split second at your change in demeanor before the stupid smirk returns, and the little rush of victory you feel from catching him off guard is enough to keep you walking forward.
His gaze never leaves yours, especially when you're standing on the tips of your toes in front of him, noses just barely brushing against each other. Your hands grip his shoulder to balance you, and you run a finger over his collarbone up towards his cheek, where you gently cup his face. The small distance between the two of you means you can hear his slightly uneven breathing and see the curiosity swirling in his bright blue eyes as he waits for your next move.
You reach a hand up and thread your fingers through his long, bleach blonde hair, and his breath hitches when you gently tug at it. Even his wolf ears almost seem to droop submissively. He doesn't dare move, but his eyes keep flicking down to your lips and back up again.
"Now, that's just not true at all, is it?" you whisper, tilting your head as if waiting for an answer, but he can't find the words to form a witty response. It’s about time he learned some manners, really, even if he needed your guidance for that.
"I'm warning you now," you continue, "you might wanna watch your tone. I might look like your prey, but I promise I bite harder than you do, babe."
You make sure to emphasise the pet name, purring it in the same way he did minutes before. He bites down on his bottom lip, and the way his fangs press into them makes you lick your own lips nervously. It seems as though he can't take the tension anymore, because he goes to lean in and finally close the distance between the two of you as his hands find your hips.
Of course, you'd never let him have that control, especially after his bold attitude from earlier. Even though the temptation to lean in is certainly there, you step away from him and smile sweetly.
"Learned your lesson yet, puppy?"
He doesn’t respond for a moment, clearly still taking in what just happened. When he registers your question, he tilts his head to the side as if in thought - the way a dog might, funnily enough - before he hums quietly.
“I’m not sure. Maybe you should teach me once more, little red,” he suggests, voice low and slightly breathless, “but preferably a bit more in depth this time.”
- ᴇ ɴ ᴅ -
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(A/N: AHHHHH I haven’t written a oneshot in SUCH a long time oh my god,,,,, it was a lot of fun tho even if I’m not super confident writing full things. this one was short anyway so I kinda feel like it doesn’t count, but I’m still v happy to finally post my first skz oneshot! I hope you enjoyed it and thank you for reading <3)
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© santastic  —  all rights reserved. reposting, translating, copying and/or stealing is prohibited. ask permission if you wish to create anything inspired by my original ideas.
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gizkasparadise · 5 years
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your writing is absolutely gorgeous! would you write a gendrya post battle reunion maybe where they're both worried the other was dead mixed in with jon and davos and sansa realizing what's going on between gendry and arya? a girl has a thirst and ao3 isn't providing. ha tho i guess that's a bit specific
jon.He doesn’t feel anything as dawn breaks. His legs move by themselves, one foot in front of the other. He doesn’t even know where he’s heading until he hears his boots crunch on the snow. The noise makes him look down.
There’s bodies in front of him. So many, that he almost misses that of Theon Greyjoy. When he does, he lets out a shaking exhale, tries to register the information. For now, he fails, and steps around him. His arm is heavy, Longclaw dragging behind him in the snow, making a shallow trench.
It’s Bran he notices first. His brother sits under the red leaves of the weirwood, expectant. At the base of his chair there is a pile of shards, some already blown away by the wind.
Jon swallows. His knees are buckling from exhaustion, but he stays standing.
“Where’s Arya?” He finally manages. Because he doesn’t know how he knows but he does.
Bran doesn’t smile. He doesn’t look at what’s left of the Night King or Theon or even at Jon, really.
“She didn’t expect to live,” is all he says. “But she did. And now everything’s changed because of it.”
Jon can’t even frown. “She’s alright, then?”
For the first time, Bran has something close to a grin. “She was worried. But stags survive winter just as well as wolves.”
Jon is too exhausted to parse the meaning, and instead gives to temptation and lets himself fall into the snow, surrounded by two of his brothers.
(later, he sees them in the courtyard. sees how her hand grips his forearm, how he squeezes his eyes closed as though in pain when he buries his face in the crook of her neck. later, he will have questions. but later is not now, and so jon closes his eyes and listens to the wind)
davos.He’s happy to see the lad made it. It’s not that Davos had his doubts, exactly, but he didn’t expect any of them to see the dawn and the Baratheon boy keeps finding himself in trouble. The smoke doesn’t clear, but the noise of battle does stop--some silences more deafening than others.
Davos wipes the back of his hand across his forehead, squinting his eyes and walking toward the center of the Winterfell courtyard. It’s where the survivors are gathering, regrouping to collect their dead. Gendry is collecting weapons from them, face grim.
He claps him on the shoulder. “Long night, wasn’t it?”
Gendry looks at him, and there is something miserable in his expression that seems to go beyond the carnage they stand in. His eyes are narrowed, hard.
“You heard anything ‘bout the Starks?” He finally mutters, and his gaze drops down to some kind of staff in his hands.
Davos shakes his head. “No, not yet.” Then he takes a guess: “’M sure Jon’s fine. The boy’s had nine lives and I’m sure something felt it right to give him another.”
Gendry swallows, and the nod he gives is tight. Davos thinks, for an odd moment, that he’s near tears. He brings his other hand to Gendry’s opposite shoulder.
“You going to be alright?”
His looks at the ground again. His inhale is ragged, and then he steps back.
“Work to be done,” he whispers, and then he leaves before Davos can say another word.
(later, davos sees them in the stables. her hand cupping his face and his expression entirely transformed by a smile. and the old man will laugh to himself, happy to find that it’s not all misery and hardship for the young)
sandor.He’s the first one to notice her, stumbling out of the snow and trees and into the piles of rubble.
“You mad bitch,” he greets.
Arya looks up, and he recognizes what her glassy eyes and pale face mean. He’s seen it. He’s had it. He thinks about the Red Woman and her fire, and not for the first time he wonders what terrible fucking choices he made to end up where he is now: covered in the dead, wondering what some feral girl saw and why he fucking cares.
“You’re not dead,” she says flatly.
“It’s not the first time I’ve been left to die.”
After a moment, he does what he thinks is best, and tosses her a skin.
She almost misses it, and that’s when he realizes the sorry state they’ve found themselves in. But she lifts her trembling arm and bites out the cork. Spits it on the ground. Good, he’s finishing that if she’s not.
“Tastes like piss,” she says, before she drinks it all.
“Not my fucking fault, is it?”
The glass fades from her eyes as she wipes her mouth with the back of her arm. Her eyes dart up and down his body.
“You alright?”
He grunts.
She nods. “Then stop being such a miserable bastard.”
She walks past him. He turns his head, and sees her heading toward that twat with the hammer.
(later, he’s there for the bloody fucking wedding)
sansa. She doesn’t have time to process what’s happened to her, what’s happened to her home, before Winterfell needs her. She isn’t as strong as some of the others, but she works as best she can to bring the bodies out, to lay them with respect so they might be identified. After that, she is surrounded--by hugging, by crying, by screaming. And so she wears the mantle of the Lady of Winterfell before she can of Sansa Stark, doing her best to unite children with their families, to take inventory of what has been destroyed.
So much has been destroyed.
“Sansa,” Tyrion says to her side, as they work side by side to attend to the wounded soldiers (her stitching is still neat, still beautiful). “You ought to turn around.”
She does.
Across the courtyard, she sees a short, dark haired girl limping toward the back of a tall man with a hammer. Sees her hand reach out and tentatively grab a fistful of his shirt. Listens, as the man lets out a strangled noise caught between a laugh and a sob before he envelopes her in his arms and lifts her feet off the ground in a slow, half-circle.
Sansa does not realize she’s crying until Tyrion hesitantly hands her a handkerchief.
“Maybe we’ll have happy songs of this yet,” he muses.
Sansa closes her eyes, and for a moment lets life instead of death wash over her.
(later, she and her sister will go back to work, but for now, she leaves it all be)
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feelingsdusk · 6 years
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A/B/O world where Bs are a neglected minority (A45/B10/O45), even if they're some of the most important members of society. Because Bs are immune to pheromones. Stiles is a B undercover spy. On a mission, Stiles poses as A/O (with fake pheromones, gotta love the R&D) and gets chosen by A/O Peter, who has issues with normal dynamic stereotypes (O's are airheads, A's are controlfreak douches) and Stiles doesn't set his hackles up like all the others. And Stiles just wants to complete his mission.
Worse than worse.
Peter is so, so tired right now. He has been for a while, actually. Of society, his family, his circumstances. So. Very. Tired.
The last thing he wanted was to have to attend a ball that will leave him with the same sour taste in his mouth as always in the end. Arrogant alphas, simpering omegas, all of them slaves to their own hormones and pheromones and no better than animals. No amount of alcohol can wash the foul taste that's already building in his mouth, barely one hour in.
Sadly, he had no say in the matter and here he is.
Then he spots him. He doesn't know what makes him pay attention, but he's glad anyways. The man is gorgeous, but that's not what catches his attention. What makes Peter giddy is the way he manipulates the alpha in front of him into snapping so badly that security sweeps in. Then the man feigns being horrified when Peter is sure he's ecstatic. It's beautiful and, since Peter has never been one to abstain from what he wants, he tells him so.
"So beautiful," Peter drawls and then he has to contain a delighted laugh when the man turns, a spark in his eyes that says that he's ready to destroy Peter.
Suddenly, Peter is not tired at all.
---
He called it.
Stiles fucking called it.
Did he say that loud enough for the ones in the back?
No?
HE CALLED IT.
There.
When he eventually gets out, he's going to repeat that until he loses his voice. And then he'll write it down, make copies of it and shove it in their faces. He'll let them keep their copy. Hell, he'll even frame it for them. The remaining copies will be stuck around the office, toilets included.
Because he called it, fuck dammit.
He said the mission was going to be the worst thing ever, and, just as he expected, this mission has turned out to be the worst thing ever. What's worse than the worst thing ever? Is that a thing? It has to be. Because once Stiles had to spend an entire week in the sewers and that was supposed to be the perfect example of the worst thing ever. And yet this is worse. So there must be a term whose definition is "worse than the worst thing ever".
And the mission isn't even over yet.
From bad intel to really bad luck, everything that could go wrong has gone epically wrong. (There's a horse hoof-shaped burn on Stiles' butt that's stinging like crazy, that's how bad the whole thing has gone! A hoof-shaped second degree burn! Stiles will have a hoof tattoo-like mark on his butt for who knows how long, fuck dammit!) Stiles is going to kill the intel and development people, he doesn't care if Danny or Lydia get pissed off for Stiles destroying their respective departments. This shit calls for retribution! The equipment failed, the intel was wrong, they deserve anything Stiles dishes out. Everything went wrong because of them!
Ok, fine, not exactly all. He's already gotten what he needed from his target's computer... even after said computer's OS crashed and nearly caught on fire. Physically. As in flames coming out of... Ok, whatever. Let bygones be bygones and all that shit. Stiles, hoof-shaped second degree burn on his ass cheek or not, needs to chill. He has the data and that's all that matters.
Now, he just has to figure how to send said data to base and then beat it. That would be wonderful. But, of fucking course, because this mission is the worst of the worst things ever, something is jamming the signal, which has made him lose contact with his handler and he hasn't been able to transfer it to headquarters. Sadly, that means that he has had to transfer the data to a memory stick (after having to patch the damn thing that was just seconds ago on fire with what he had in his pockets) and now he has to physically carry it outside the building. Which is no good but he'll have to make do.
He's taking a vacation after this.
(After making intel and development pay, that is.)
---
Just... fuck his life, ok?
His partner was able to slip out unnoticed but as he was trying to do the same, security showed up out of nowhere and he had to retreat towards a toilet or risk being caught otherwise. And sadly, an atypical and abrupt increase in security can only mean one thing: the breach has already been found out and they're trying to locate the source.
Maybe Stiles hasn't mentioned this before, but he really, really hates this mission.
(He has.)
(Like at least twenty times over the comms before he found himself alone.)
(After that he's been chanting it in his head.)
It's already been twenty minutes since that happened and he hasn't been able to leave yet, which just adds up to the shit-ton of things that have gone wrong in this operation so far. Right now, his only consolation for all his troubles is that Deaucalion and every single member of his merry band of human waste are going to be drawn out handcuffed in broad daylight when the bosses finally get their hands on the intel Stiles is carrying right now.
But first he has to leave this fucking place, dammit.
Which, again, brings him to his current situation, in which he's stuck in a ballroom, trying to make an alpha completely lose his shit out of sheer irritation and enjoying every second of it despite the dire circumstances. Now, Stiles would normally try to curve his vindictiveness when he's posing as an omega, but in his defense this alpha was asking for it. Begging. On his metaphorical knees even.
If there's a word Stiles despises, it's defective, with unnatural or it's various synonyms right after it on the podium. Especially so if they're being used to describe another human being. They get his hackles up and his level of viciousness goes first through the roof and then the stratosphere. Easily.
When he was a teen he would even get violent, but time (and the anger management therapy the State of California, his crying omega mom and disappointed™ alpha dad forced on him) toned down his knee-jerk reaction to those words. Don't get him wrong, his view on the whole thing is still pretty much the same, he has just learned to dish out his response in a much more undetectable and productive way.
Because, by definition of the majority of the population nowadays, Stiles himself is defective and unnatural. Doctors have tests to know it before babies like Stiles are born so that the parents can knowingly decide if they still want to have a Beta child or not. In some parts of the world people like Stiles are sacrificed, in others they have to be terminated before they're even born or face being persecuted and killed along with the parents that dared to defy the law and had them. Never mind that if an Alpha, an Omega and a Beta are examined side by side, physically speaking they are almost identical. The only thing that's different is that Betas can't produce any of the two kinds of pheromones or smell them when they're being emitted. That's it. The rest of their bodies work just fine. They have to eat, drink and sleep to survive just like everyone else. If they are female, they are perfectly able to get pregnant; if they are male, they can impregnate a woman. Just like every Alpha or Omega on the planet.
But again, since Betas lack of the equipment to process pheromones, don't go into a heat or a rut, and lack those instincts associated with them, they are defective. Hell, the very term "beta" is a slur that comes from the programming slang (first version of a program that has the necessary basics for it to run but it's incomplete). Betas may have made it their own, but that doesn't change its origins. That's the kind of world Stiles lives in.
And this asshole Alpha, who apparently also finds Omegas utterly vapid and vexing, has packed more Beta slurs in the twenty minutes Stiles has been there blending in than what he can stomach without popping a vessel if he doesn't answer somehow.
Admittedly, Stiles was running on a short fuse to begin with, but he knows he would have done this anyways because it may provide the necessary distraction to slip out unnoticed.
And no one beats Stiles at being an asshole, so by now he has lost count of the number of times he's had to bite his cheek and mask his glee covering his face coyly with his flute of champagne to avoid giving himself away. Asshole Alpha looks about ready to give in to the temptation of strangling him and it shouldn't be this amusing, but it is. Immensely so, in fact. Especially since Stiles is keeping up the hare-brained and innocent act flawlessly and drawing every single omega in the vicinity into the conversation, thus managing to crowd Asshole Alpha quite effectively.
A small pleasure in a completely shitty situation, that's exactly what this is. Now, if he could just leave somehow... But no, impossible. Security is still at every door and Stiles has no way of getting out without being caught with the memory stick and photographic evidence he has on himself.
Asshole Alpha finally snaps and lets out a threatening growl. Stiles forces himself to back off frightened instead of snickering delightedly, copying the reaction of every Omega around himself down to the distressed whimpers at the (he guesses by the reaction) onslaught of angry pheromones. Two guards swoop in almost immediately and make the man accompany them. He resists the temptation of waving cheekily at him as they drag him out and joins the horrified and appalled whispering left behind instead.
"So beautiful," someone drawls at his back and Stiles bites back an irritated groan before turning around to look at most possibly Asshole Alpha, take two.
His breath catches slightly when he takes in the new Alpha's appearance. Ok, wow. Asshole or not, that's one fine specimen of a man. Like, top model worthy wow. Stiles never thought he'd see anyone other than Tony Stark (who cares if it's a fictional character?) who would do justice to a goatee, but holy shit.
What. He may hate people and the dynamics they're run by, but that doesn't keep him from appreciating eye candy, ok? That's a completely different matter, after all. Also, eye candy or not, Stiles will destroy him anyways if he's a douche. It will even be sweeter, because good looking alphas are the epitome of privilege and the thought of being played by an Omega doesn't even enter the realm of possibilities for them.
"Hi," he chirps sweetly, looking at him through his eyelashes and tilting his head just so. Alpha's smile widens and Stiles fights a smug smirk. He's going to destroy him.
"Hello," Alpha purrs. "My name's Peter."
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domestic-harry · 7 years
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fics when the hate each other but end in love??? and fics when one of them admire/has a crush for the other but doesn't have like a close relationship (i mean that they aren't so good friends it seems they're already a couple!) thank you baby!
Hate to Love Fics
Love Is A Rebellious Bird  : Louis is the concertmaster of the London Symphony Orchestra, Harry is the New! and Exciting! interim conductor/ex-cello prodigy who “has made Mozart cool again” according to Esquire Magazine (Louis hates him immediately, which is definitely why he internet stalked him in his dark bedroom late at night that one time), and Niall is the best.  Zayn and Liam are around too.
Unbelievers : It’s Louis’ senior year, and he’s dead set on doing it right. However, along with his pair of cleats, a healthy dose of sarcasm and his ridiculous best friend, he’s also got a complicated family, a terrifyingly uncertain future, and a mortal enemy making his life just that much worse. Mortal enemies “with benefits” was not exactly the plan.Or: The one where Louis and Harry definitely aren’t friends, and football is everything.
Soft Hands, Fast Feet, Can’t Lose : American Uni AU. Harry Styles is a frat boy football star from the wealthy Styles Family athletic dynasty. A celebrity among football fans, he knows how to play, he knows how to party, and he knows how to fuck (all of which is well known among his legion of admirers). Louis Tomlinson is a student and an athlete, but his similarities to Harry end there. Intelligent, focused, independent, and completely uninterested in Harry’s charms, Louis is an anomaly in a world ruled by football. A bet about the pair, who might be more similar than they originally thought, brings them together. Shakespeare, ballet, Disney, football, library chats, running, accidental spooning, Daredevil and Domino’s Pizza all blend into one big friendship Frappucino, but who will win in the end?
Young & Beautiful : Louis, to his horror, attends an elitist university in which the name Zayn Malik means something, Niall Horan doesn’t stop talking, there are pianos everywhere, and Harry Styles, only son of a drug-addled, clinically insane ex-rocker, has a perfect smile and empty eyes.
Where Your Heart Is : Louis is ready for his brand new adventure. So what if he suffers from a genetic condition that prevents him from being touched? College is going to be awesome. It has to. Karma kind of owes him right now. Forget about his overprotective mother, or Liam– his entirely too chipper step brother– or his mess of a roommate. Forget about the gloves he has to wear at all times. He’s here to expand his knowledge, write and drown himself in books – No matter how distracting ‘Hallway Boy’ may be– The obnoxious, flirty frat wannabe determined to become the bane of Louis’ existence.Or, a college AU set in San Francisco where two lost boys who seemingly have nothing in common find inspiration, each other, and themselves in the process.
Learning to breathe : He’s playing football at one of the top universities in England and he should love everything about his life right now, but instead he’s moving backwards. How does your past fit into your present? Louis is still figuring it out.
Shake Me Down : Harry’s new to college, fresh out of Catholic school and conversion therapy camp, and Louis runs the campus LGBTQIA organization.
You Drive Me Round The Bend : In which Louis is a spoilt rich kid who’s always on the phone while he drives and Harry is a struggling musician making his way down the mountain. It’s just a matter of time before they crash and burn.
Wings to Break Your Fall : Strip club AU. Harry’s work and family are keeping him busy. He really isn’t looking for a relationship, doesn’t want one. He just wants Louis. Problem is, Louis has other plans.
Dance To The Distortion : Louis accidentally breaks Harry’s camera lens and in order to get it fixed, they decide to participate in a romantic couples study. The only issue is that they are not actually couple. Well that and the fact they cannot stand each other.
Resist Everything Except Temptation : The one where Louis is the commodore’s son who is forced to become a part of Harry’s crew when he is captured. 
With a Whimper : Dystopian AU. Louis has been alone for too long to remember how not to be, and Harry has too much to worry about to deal with a scrawny, wild, stranger.
You’re Cold And I Burn : Louis’ love for pretty colors and aesthetics, paired with his immense passion for painting beautiful flowers has stars in his eyes and thoughts of a successful career.unfortunately, budding artists will struggle at first, so, cue the unwanted roommate. it only gets worse when the new addition is a sarcastic, flirty, and style-ignorant annoyance. all complete with a dingy leather jacket and a vast array of tattoos.
You’ve got to see yourself from far and wide: Harry and Louis meet at a very early age under all the wrong circumstances, which leads them to absolutely loathe each other for years on end. Eventually they both make it as professional football players in (very) rival teams, but are suddenly bought by the same club and depend on one another to either make it or break it at the height of their careers.With a side of sports journalist (and bridge friend) Niall, teammate Liam and wannabe football rep Zayn. They say that there’s a fine line between love and hate. That line might as well be shaped as a football trophy. 
Walk That Mile : A Route 66 AU where falling in love was never part of the plan.
Tainted Saints and Velvet Vices : A self-fulfilling Hogwarts AU in which Louis is new to seventh year and Harry is the resident devil-may-care Slytherin set to make his entire experience a living misery. Due to less than favourable circumstances they’re forced to forge an unwilling, tentative relationship for their own survival. Repressed emotions, decidedly unromantic ballroom dancing, Triwizard Tournament tasks, creative jinxes and twilight flying above the Forbidden Forest ensue. 
Pining (without being close friends) Fics
In This Light: Harry is a wardrobe stylist who likes to live in the moment, and Louis is a popstar who looks dreamy in double breasted jackets. Harry never stood a chance.
Way in the World : The one where Harry has a knee injury and an embarrassing crush on Manchester United’s pretty number ten.
Adore You : Against his wishes, Harry spends the holidays at his family’s summer estate, and is reluctantly pulled into a courtship he didn’t ask for. Harry doesn’t want to get married, but Louis does. They don’t fit, but then again they really, really do.
Home To You : At fifteen, Harry wrote his first song for an oblivious seventeen year old Louis Tomlinson. Ten years later he’s a singer/songwriter who cant find any words for his second album and Louis is a closeted actor tired of LA. They both try to run from the things weighing them down and in the process, they find each other.
Just Tell Me the Song and I’ll Sing It  : Louis is an architecture student who can only think about the future. Harry is a baseball player who can only think about right now. Both are lonely for different reasons. Boybands bring them together.Or, this may just be a long love letter to Louis’ voice, I’m not sure.Based on the following prompt: Harry and Louis are university students who go to the same bar on the weekends. The bar has karaoke and Louis likes to sing Disney/Musical/Boyband songs sometimes. Harry thinks he’s cute so he starts singing Disney/Musical/Boyband songs and flirting with him while he’s on stage.
Sun-kissed Hurricane, Perfect Storm : Harry is the quiet kid in the back of his statistics class who writes a lot and dreams about Louis’ cheekbones . Louis needs a statistics tutor ASAP before he flunks and the quiet kid in the back of the class seems like a good choice. Harry wants to help Louis however he can and Louis wants to see how much he can make Harry blush. 
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