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emma-needs-attention · 5 months

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I don’t shave every day. It’s not that I don’t “need” to; I have very dark, dense facial hair that grows quickly and remains pretty visible after shaving. When I do shave, I don’t try to cover it with makeup (beyond some powder to reduce redness). In most other ways I present very feminine, but I always have fairly obvious facial hair.

And it makes me feel terrible.

I started electrolysis a couple months ago. It’s excruciatingly painful, expensive, and it takes forever. In an hour-long session, my electrologist is able to remove hair in only a small region (about 1 square inch). A few weeks later, much of that hair comes back. I am told that it will take two to three years of regular treatments to remove it entirely. On top of that, I apparently have a condition called Post Inflammatory Hyperpigmentation, which causes the skin in affected areas to darken after treatment. For nearly two months after completing a single pass over my upper lip, my mustache was more visible than it had ever been, despite having significantly less hair.

And it made me feel terrible.

I know this is the best way for me to permanently remove my facial hair, but I just canceled all of my upcoming sessions and at the moment I have no plans to begin again.

If I could pay to have my facial hair instantly and completely removed I would empty my savings account. I am intensely aware of it any time I go out in public. If it makes me so uncomfortable, why do I not do more to hide it?

I feel incredibly privileged for a trans woman. I have a loving, supportive family. I have a well-paying job. I live in a very accepting area. I have never had a single person say anything negative to me about my gender identity, which was certainly not what I was expecting when I came out. It is important to me that I be visibly queer, and in my privileged position I am able to do that without fear. A year ago I didn’t think I would ever transition; now I want people to know that I’m trans.

I am disappointed with myself for wanting to remove my facial hair, for changing my voice. I am determined not to have to do more work than a cis person does. Cis women don’t have to shave their face every day. Cis men don’t have to shave their face every day. Why should I? This is who I am, what my body does. Shouldn’t I be proud of that? Am I not supposed to love myself the way I am?

But by that logic, why am I even transitioning in the first place?

I am doing more work than a cis person does. Cis people don’t transition, and transitioning takes effort. I know that there are cis people, both men and women, who do shave every day. Am I lying to myself? I’m a trans woman; aren’t I supposed to want to get rid of my facial hair? Shouldn’t I be trying harder? Doesn’t this give me dysphoria? Am I pretending not to have dysphoria so I don’t have to put in the effort? Does the fact that I’m not trying harder make me… I don’t know, less trans? Non-binary? Is it ok for me to call myself a trans woman? Am I lying to myself?

As a woman who was a man until thirty, there are things about my body that I must accept, that I won’t be able to change no matter how much money I dump into my transition. I’m tall, I have broad shoulders, I have large hands. No amount of surgery or hormones will change these things.

But there are many things that I can change, and while none of them are requirements for being a woman, they may still be changes that I want to make. Where do I stop? Am I finished transitioning when I’ve done everything that is physically possible? My goal isn’t to “pass,” at least not in the way that word is generally used. In a time when cis women are being assaulted because people think they’re trans—because they don’t “pass” as women—the idea of what it means to pass becomes blurry. Often when we say that we want to pass, what we really mean is that we want to be conventionally beautiful.

I am a woman. Therefore, I look like a woman. My transition goal is to pass as myself. I’ve spent the last year trying to figure out who I am so I can look like her. I don’t care whether people see me and think “that’s a woman.” I want to be able to look in the mirror and think “that’s me.” But it can be extremely difficult to separate your own image of yourself from society’s idea of what you should look like. Am I self-conscious about the size of my body because it doesn’t feel like me, or because I’ve been told that women should be smaller? There are tall cis women, there are broad-shouldered cis women, there are cis women with large hands. Those traits don’t make them less womanly.

For the aspects of my body that I do have control over, I am stuck wondering whether I am changing things to become myself, or changing them because I have internalized that the way I am is wrong. At the moment, facial feminization surgery is something that I think I might like to do. But how do I know that I want to do it for the right reasons? I don’t hate my face, but when I catch a glimpse of myself from certain angles I can’t help but think that it isn’t feminine enough. What I should be asking is if it’s Emma enough, but how can I know that? How do I know who I’m supposed to be?

I feel like I was supposed to be a cis woman, but… why? Who am I to say that I wasn’t supposed to be trans? That I wasn’t supposed to transition at thirty, to have both a male puberty and a female one? Being trans has made me more self-aware, more open-minded, more empathetic. The totality of my experience is what makes me who I am. Maybe there’s a world in which I was assigned female, maybe there’s a world in which I was put on puberty blockers as a kid. But the girl in those worlds isn’t me.

Loving yourself and wanting to change are two feelings that can coexist. I tend to think of body positivity as simply accepting yourself as you are, but it is more nuanced than that. As a trans person, who I am inside is not the same as who I am outside. Which one am I supposed to love? I do love myself, but I also love who I could be. I’m transitioning so that someday they’ll be the same person.

Over the past year I have become both my biggest supporter and my biggest critic. I constantly tell myself how pretty I am, how brave I am, how fucking cool I am (hey, nobody else is saying it and it’s true). This forced positivity has been fantastic for me. I can confidently say that I truly love myself for the first time in my life. But I sometimes feel guilty that I don’t love myself more.

I can’t help but stare at myself in the mirror all the time now. I actually bought a new mirror so I didn’t have to walk as far to do so. I’ve taken more selfies than I did in my entire pre-transition life. After many months on HRT, I finally see myself in my reflection. But my eyes refuse to focus on my stubble. Sometimes I catch myself thinking “I’m going be so beautiful once I get rid of this facial hair,” and it feels like a betrayal. Fuck you Emma, I’m already gorgeous.

#trans #transfem #transgender #lgbtq #comics #essay #art #cw dysphoria

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giannaln4 · 4 months

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Away For Valentine's

lando norris x fem reader

summary: McLaren had the fantastic idea to launch their car on Valentine's day, and as much as you reassured Lando he didn't have to worry about it, he still wanted to make it up to you (1k words)

warnings: none, just fluff

a/n: heyy everyone! so this is the very first fic i'm posting so please let me know what you think! i'm honestly pretty excited to get started with this blog so hopefully you guys like what i write. anyway please send some ideas my way!

↺ back to navigation — send me a request!

Valentine’s Day was off the table this year, and so was everything you had planned for you and your boyfriend.

You were disappointed when he shared the news with you, but you couldn’t be mad at him, not when it wasn’t his fault.

He saw the disappointment in your face, and how much you were trying to hide it by just smiling and nodding, your head finding a spot on his shoulder to avoid eye contact. He appreciated you understanding the situation, like you always did, but that didn’t mean he didn’t feel guilty.

“I know we had plans-”

“Lan, don’t worry about it” You took a deep breath before looking at him again, trying to get rid of the sadness in your face “I mean it, we can do that some other time”

He was about to say something but a quick kiss on the lips stopped him. You proceeded to look at him, offering him a small smile and a glance that he knew meant ‘I don’t wanna talk about it’, so just nodded as he smiled back.

A few weeks go by and his winter break was coming to an end, meaning soon he’d have to leave the comfort of your shared home and go get started with his preseason duties. That’s something you were used to, having to see him leave for long periods of times but it barely ever affected your relationship. He always made sure he made enough time for you, even when the time difference was huge and he was feeling tired most of the time, he needed to make time for you. Your love for each other was so strong that, at the end of the day, you were just relieved you still had each other even if all you had was a five minute call every day.

But still, sometimes it was hard to see him go, and this time was one of those times.

The night you knew would be your last one with him before he left he decided to take you out on a date. Fancy clothes and an even fancier restaurant were your plans for the evening, and you knew he was trying to make up for Valentine's Day. It wasn’t the same, of course it wasn’t, but you still enjoyed every second of it.

The food, the small talk, the jokes, the stupid stories, the shy glances, the small touches, everything was perfect, almost making you forget he was getting on a plane in a matter of hours, but your smile slowly faded as soon as you remembered.

The ride back home was quieter than he would’ve liked, but he knew exactly what was going through your mind, and honestly he couldn’t blame you cause his mind was flooded with the same thoughts.

As soon as you got home he ran around the car and opened the door for you, offering his hand and kissing yours as soon as he took it. You smiled softly at him and you made your way to the door. Once you were inside, you dropped his hand to take off your shoes and tossed them somewhere close to the door, sighing in relief as you started walking towards your room.

“Mhm, come back here” He whispered as he grabbed your hand and pulled you back into him

“There you are” Lando smiled softly at you as his lips found yours. After a moment he broke the kiss, and both of his hands found a better spot on your waist as he started to move along the off-tune song he started to hum. You couldn’t contain your smile, quickly trying to keep up with him. You moved together in a slow dance, it was like your bodies were in perfect harmony.

Lando was looking down at you in pure admiration, almost as if he was trying to memorize every centimeter of your face so he wouldn't forget it while he was away, but you didn’t dare to look up, scared you would make eye contact with Lando and you wouldn’t be able to take it, so you safe option was to rest your head on his chest and pray you didn’t mess up. Although it wouldn’t matter if you did, you were just in the comfort of your living room anyway. But you didn’t wanna mess up.

He eventually stopped humming, hoping the silence would encourage you to look at him, but when you didn’t he moved one of his hands to cup your check, making you look at him. For a moment your eyes lock, making the silence feel very loud and Lando couldn’t help but smile at you, and you immediately blushed, but tried to play it off.

“You’re a terrible dancer” He laughed and you narrowed your eyes playfully and softly hit his shoulder.

“You’re one to talk” You joked, locking your fingers behind his neck and giggling when Lando scoffed.

“Maybe we should go out to dance and I could show you all of my moves” He started to move again, bringing you closer to him.

“I thought you didn’t like slow dancing”

“I do if I get to hold you this close to me” He replied, once again finding your lips.

This time the kiss was longer, both of them savoring each other’s lips while they still had the chance “I’m sorry about Valentine’s” He whispered once he pulled away, your forehead resting on his.

You giggled at this. You had assured him a million times he didn’t have to worry about that, and he still apologized every time he remembered “You need to stop apologizing”

“But I am sorry”

“I know, but it’s not your fault” You hand fell on his hair, slowly stroking his soft curls “And I had a great time tonight, so I’d say love is not dead”

He laughed at his, dimples appearing as his eyes vanish for a moment “I still wanna make it up to you”

“You will” You replied as your head fell back on his chest “But for now I just wanna enjoy this” You closed your eyes and inhaled his scent, and after a moment of complete silence you can feel him start moving again, his soft hums interrupting the peace his heartbeat was giving you.

#giannaln4 writes #lando norris #ln4 #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #lando norris x y/n #lando norris imagine #lando norris fanfic #lando norris one shot #lando norris fluff #lando norris smut #f1 #formula 1 #f1 x reader

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eddiemunsonw · 2 months

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Snow Storm

Steve Harrington x Fem!reader

Summary: You're on a 'date'. Sort of. You're really not feeling it, especially when you realize that the guy has been lying. Steve, witnessing it all during his shift at Family Video, is more than happy to meddle a little.

CW/Disclaimer: Hmmmm things start to get a little heated and sexy but nothing too dramatic. So... idk. Mention of porn?

Author's note: I have a tendency to post fics out of their season, it seems

Words: 3435

Steve’s POV

He watched as your eyes followed the section of horror movies slowly, scanning each title to try and remember if you had seen them before. Next to you, a guy stood impatiently as he eyed the curtain that separated the adult section. Steve watched with interest, as it was all that was currently happening in the store apart from a regular who looked into the slapstick classics on the other side.

“Come on, I just wanna see.”

The guy sighed, nudged you with his arm. You were having none of it and Steve couldn’t help but wear an amused smile. Eventually, when you had picked out two movies, you followed him towards the curtain. Steve, feeling particularly menacing today, quickly left the counter and approached the curtain just in time.

“Hello there! ID’s please.”

He held his hand open and you took it out immediately, showing that you were 23, a year younger than he was. When the guy handed it over with some reluctance, his curiosity piqued.

“Oof, sorry dude, can’t let you in. It’s 21+”

“What? Since when?” the guy responded, but Steve clocked something much more interesting.

“Clark… You said you were 24. Jesus this is why I never wanna say my age first,” you groaned and rolled your eyes. Steve bit down on his lip to stop himself from smiling, but it was too hard not to.

“Damn, why’d you have to lie to the lady? That’s not cool,” Steve added on.

Your POV

“You weren’t supposed to know. Now come on,” Clark mumbled and attempted to pass the curtain but Steve quickly moved in between, the smooth glide of his body grabbing your attention.

“Still a no, Bud.”

You were already tired of his pushy behavior earlier, so while Steve had him occupied, you entered the adult section. You didn’t even want to go in there, but it was better than staying.

“Grab some deepthroating! And some lesbian porn?”

Steve’s POV

Steve shook his head at him as he leaned against the wall right next to the curtain.

“Jesus, dude. Are you trying to make her run away from you even harder?”

“Shut up,” Clark grumbled, side eyeing him with annoyance.

“Hm, no,” Steve said, a small smile on his face. “Not for a pipsqueak like you.”

“Oh fuck off, says the failed jock whose daddy no longer funds him so he has to do a shitty job like this one, the highlight of his day being to be a total asshole to a guy trying to have sex with a girl.”

Steve stared ahead of him, taking a deep inhale before replying.

“Yeah. Sure. That’s a neat description of you and me both. Emphasis on the trying.”

“The day’s not over yet.”

“Oh but it is, pipsqueak. Cause you’re gonna turn around and leave now.”

They looked at each other, eyes dark and challenging. Steve wasn’t sure what came over him. He just knew that he needed to do you the favor of getting rid of him.

“The hell I am,” Clark bristled.

Steve chuckled darkly. Woah, when did he become this super villain huh? Hmm. Interesting.

“Oh you are. She wants you gone and so do I.”

“You don’t know shit about what she wants.”

“Let me go ask,” Steve said as his hand lazily slid the curtain aside. “What’s her name again?” he asked, pretending like he hadn’t checked your name on your ID. He didn’t wait for his answer and walked behind the curtain despite his protests. This, however, made him miss out on the emergency alert on the radio.

“We interrupt your favorite tunes for an important message. The blizzard is getting worse. If you haven’t yet, go home. Chances are you won’t be able to if you wait much longer.”

Clark, however, did. Besides, he wasn’t that much of an idiot. He knew he had lost his chances with you the moment he tried to get you to grab his favorite porn videos. Whatever.

Your POV

“So… see anything you like?”

His voice startled you, but at the same time it was met with relief from your end that it wasn’t Clark. Steve slowly walked closer and quickly noticed you didn’t seem interested in any of it in the slightest and chuckled.

“Or are you just planning to stay here forever until he leaves?”

You shrugged.

“Something like that. Also, you don’t just ask a lady about her favorite porn, Harrington.”

Delighted by your response, he cocked his hip against the wall as he crossed his arms with a grin.

“I mean… we both already know Clark’s…” Steve said jokingly, earning a smile from you.

“All men are the same,” you sighed. Steve pouted and scanned the titles for something interesting.

“You say that now but… wait until you find out that my favorite is actually… Granny getting a— nope, nope, forget I started that sentence,” Steve said quickly as he put back the tape he just had in his hands.

“All the grannies over the world are crying right now,” you said sadly, a smile on your lips.

“Too bad, I’ve set my eye on girls who actually are the age they say they are.”

“I’ll admit that’s the most interesting belated opening line I’ve ever heard,” you said dryly.

“As long as it catches your intrigue, I’m satisfied,” Steve said with a playful, cocky grin.

You grabbed a tape and smirked, holding it out for him.

“So I’m guessing you don’t need yourself a… Satisfyer 2.0, then?” You asked, holding up the tape which had sensual “instructions” for a vibrator.

Steve laughed and shook his head.

“These satisfy just fine,” Steve said, holding up his hands. Your mind drifted off to what he could do with those big hands. Not just to himself but to—

“… left?”

Steve had apparently just asked you a question.

“Huh?”

He smirked and nodded towards the curtain.

“I think he left. Just heard the bell above the door.”

“Maybe someone came in though…” you wondered out loud.

“Maybe. I’ll go check.” He spun on his heel and approached the curtain when—

“Wait—” It was out before you knew it. Steve halted, turned back around and looked at you patiently.

“Yeah?”

“If he is in fact not gone, can you… get rid of him somehow? I normally wouldn’t ask but he’s just such a—”

“Dick.”

“Yeah…” You smiled a small smile and watched as he approached you again. His eyes were on you, taking in even the smallest changes in your expression.

“So is he like… your boyfriend?” Steve asked softly. “Or uh, was?”

You chuckled and shook your head.

“Nah, this was the second date which I had reluctantly agreed to.”

“Why’d you say yes?” Steve asked curiously. He followed your movement as you skimmed some more tapes and smiled at the playfully quipped corner of your mouth. “I mean, it didn’t look like you wanted to be here.”

“I didn’t. I just… I kind of never said yes but he just showed up on my doorstep and then I felt too bad to not go with him, so… yeah. Didn’t know he had plans to rent some porn and spend the second date in his bedroom or whatever.”

Steve crossed his arms and nodded thoughtfully.

“Hmmh… yeah that sucks. Well, I’ll make sure there won’t be a next time,” he said as he shortly winked at you and once again turned on his heel, this time actually continuing his walk through the curtain. He was out there for a few minutes when he turned back with a frown.

“Uh… Y/N? We’ve got a little… hiccup.”

You approached him with a frown of your own and followed him to the front, unsure what to expect. What you certainly didn’t expect, was to see a snow storm going on outside.

“Apparently there’s a code red. Just heard a repeat of it on the radio but it keeps breaking up. They urge everyone to stay inside until it’s over.”

Steve stuffed his hands into his pockets and stared ahead. It was the worst storm he had ever witnessed and the fact that nothing had seemed to be going on apart from some gentle snowfall surprised him.

“Stay… here?” you asked eventually.

“I mean, yeah? You can’t drive in this weather, it’s too dangerous. So is walking. So…”

“But I can’t just…”

“Hey, I don’t bite,” Steve said softly, nudging your arm with his own. “Besides, Clark seems to have left after all. Maybe he heard the warning and decided to bolt? If so, very nice to let us know as well but I will say that I wasn’t nice to him, so…”

You smirked.

“What did you say to him?”

“Nothing, nothing. I mean, genuinely, I didn’t say much. Just that he had to fuck off, using different wording. He didn’t seem all that ready to leave when I went to look for you though.”

“Oh well, good riddance.”

“Agreed.”

Steve walked forward and locked the door, putting the closed sign up front just in case.

“Let’s go to the back, it’s warmer there. And there’s a coffee machine.”

And so your “Stuck at Family Video with heartthrob Steve Harrington” began.

Once you were settled around the table in the break room, Steve gave you an odd glance. It was hard to figure out what he meant by it, although his frown disappeared the moment he got up from his chair.

“Coffee? Tea? I think we even got a few of those instant hot choc packages,” he offered, his back already turned to you as he searched the cabinets.

“Oh, hot chocolate sounds nice actually. Is it just me or is it… still kinda cold, even here?” you asked hesitantly. Steve nodded ruefully and grabbed two mugs from the cabinet he was currently facing.

“Ah, yeah… it looks like the heating is struggling again. I could kick it to see if it helps but… chances are it’ll get worse.”

“How could it get worse?”

Steve shrugged.

“Beats me, but I’m speaking from experience. Sometimes it does the trick and other times it really, really doesn’t.”

“Let’s not risk it then. At least we have a warm drink, right?”

Steve nodded and grabbed the kettle. You watched him busy himself with putting it on, emptying the hot chocolate powder and grabbing two spoons. He was humming along softly to whichever song he seemed to have stuck in his head and shot you a smile when he caught you looking.

“So what do you usually—”

Suddenly, the room turned pitch dark. You heard Steve swear softly when he shuffled back towards the table and bumped into a chair.

“Uh… okay. That’s… kind of a problem,” he mumbled as he managed to sit back down. “No hot choc I guess, sorry. No… heating either. Maybe we should check how the weather’s doing?” he opted.

“Yeah, sure.”

There was a small strip of light seeping in from the doorway, slowly turning brighter as you adjusted to your surroundings again. Warm fingers teased your arm before your wrist was grabbed and Steve helped you up. As he opened the door, the brightness of the snow outside was almost blinding. The thin windows made it a lot colder at the front, making you shiver as you watched the outside. It wasn’t just snow anymore, as heavy hail rained down, large enough to leave dents into cars. Steve groaned and let go of your wrist.

“Let me check if I can get the power back on,” he mumbled, more to himself than to you. He grabbed a flashlight from below the counter and went to the back again. After a few minutes, he returned, looking apologetic.

“Sorry, nothing. I guess it’s my fault you’re stuck here, huh?” he sighed. “If I hadn’t bothered Clark as much you’d be on your way already. Or if I just… I don’t know. Sorry, I guess.”

“It’s not your fault the weather decided to fuck us over, Steve,” you said with a soft smile which he returned with some hesitance. “What do you usually do for fun around here?”

Steve gave you a wry smile.

“Watch movies?”

“Ah, yeah.”

There was a short silence until Steve clapped in his hands and rubbed them together. “I’ve got this huge blanket in the back, brought it here once because Rob, Robin, my colleague, gets very cold easily so sometimes we’d just huddle under the blanket during breaks and stuff. I think we might as well sit out here, at least it’s light… for now.”

You nodded, smiling as you thought of Robin Buckley. You knew her of course. Not super well, but well enough to know she was nice.

“Yeah, it’s already getting dark, huh? A blanket sounds good though.”

Steve nodded and once again disappeared for a short moment, until he returned with a bright blue blanket, which he partially draped on the floor in front of the counter before he motioned for you to sit down and wrapped it around your shoulders. He joined you after grabbing you both some water and put the other end around his shoulders once he settled down.

“How’s this?”

You were really trying not to let it get to you that you were cozying up to Steve right now. Heat was radiating off of him and it made you wonder if he was actually cold, or if he was basically doing the whole “it’s better to stick together for body warmth” kind of thing. With the addition of clothes, of course.

“It’s nice. Better than without for sure,” you told him softly. Steve’s shoulder brushed yours and soon enough you felt the pressure build up until he was actually resting against you. Not in an uncomfortable way at all. It was really… nice, actually.

“Your parents? Do you think they’ll worry?”

“Ah, no. My mom’s visiting my grandma in another state actually and my dad’s no longer around, so. Doubt he can worry,” you joked lightly. “What about yours?”

Steve snorted, then realized it probably wasn’t all that funny and shrugged.

“Dunno, they’re somewhere in Europe now, I think? So no.”

Another silence. It was by that point that you remembered how little you actually knew about Steve Harrington. Sure, he had been popular in school for some time, and then he wasn’t, and then he graduated. But you had never really talked to him other than giving him a pen or two in English class. You were from different social ladders, really. Although, right now you felt quite equal to him, somehow. Which felt weird, considering he looked like a freshly cut out of a painting model and you were… you. Mr handsome decided to steal you away from your brain, which honestly, was a good thing.

“Hey, wanna play a game?” he asked, peering into your eyes as he leaned forward a little. You watched him with newfound curiosity.

“What kind of game?”

“I spy with my little eye.”

“Isn’t that just called “I spy”?” you wondered aloud.

“Dunno. So. Yes?”

“What else is there, right?”

Steve grinned and rested his head against the counter.

“That’s right. Okay. I spy with my little eye… something green.”

“That tape,” you said as you pointed. Steve leaned into your space, following your hand.

“Which one?”

“The green one.”

“There are maaaany green ones.”

“The green one with… Fuck I can’t read,” you sighed as you tried to squint. Steve laughed warmly, which you could feel the tremble of against your shoulder. “Okay so. The sci-fi shelf, yes? Fifth on the second row.”

“Aaaah, I see it now. Nope!”

“You knew that wasn’t it from the start.”

“I had to make sure.”

“Mhm, sure.”

Steve grinned and nudged you with his shoulder before tapping your thigh with his hand.

“Your turn, your turn!”

He left his hand on your thigh. Oh shit. Yeah, you were totally normal about that. You could still think. You could definitely still find some kind of object that you could use—

“Wait, I didn’t even guess it, how is it my turn?!” you questioned. Steve, who had been looking at… somewhere that wasn’t your eyes, quickly lifted his eyes to meet yours and grinned.

“Right. Guess!” “Your vest?”

“You are absolutely right. See? Your turn.”

“It wasn’t— okay. Hm… I spy with my little eye… something red.”

“Your cheeks.”

“Shut up, my cheeks aren’t red.”

“They are a little.”

“If you keep talking about it, yes, they will turn red.”

“Oh? Is that so?”

Once again Steve leaned forward to look you straight in the eye, this time lifting a hand to cup your cheek gently. “Hm, they’re a little pink at the very least.”

You could feel the heat rising to your cheeks and took his hand off your cheek as you looked away. Steve chuckled softly and turned his hand around so he could grab yours.

“Fine, then… the bike outside?”

“Nope.”

“Damn, I thought that was it for sure. That red blob of paint that Keith never managed to get off the ceiling?”

“That’s it!”

Steve grinned at you and gave your hand a squeeze. For a moment you had forgotten about his hand, too drunk on his animated face. Fuck.

“I spy with my little eye…” Steve turned his head to look at you and smiled. “Something pretty.”

“What?”

“Purple! Purple.”

“My shirt.”

“So clever.”

It was getting darker rapidly and soon enough, even your little game became harder to play. You did some other ones, word games, guessing games, whatever you could think of. The blanket was wrapped closer around you both now, as the store became colder without the heating. You sat hip to hip, your arms a little awkward sometimes although neither of you really minded.

“Would you have stayed here if I hadn’t been around?” you asked softly.

“Hmm, nah, I don’t think so.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t really care if— I mean, I’d only be risking myself in that case.”

“That’s a bad reason. You’re just as important.”

“Am I?” Steve asked, and for some reason you felt like he needed an honest answer.

“Yeah, you are, Steve.”

“Hm…” A beat of silence. “I spy with my little eye… someone pretty.”

“You can’t even see.”

“I’ve memorized her by now.”

“Is it the blonde babe cardboard cutout?”

Steve, not expecting that answer at all, burst out laughing.

“Fuck, no,” a giggle, “it wasn’t.”

“Oh… hm. What about that girl from the ring? Samara?”

“Shush.”

“Or the woman from that movie where—” “Ssshh.”

You felt his hand cup your cheek and it was as if your heart was gonna jump out of your chest at any moment now. His breath tickled your cheek, warm and comfortable against your cold nose. Your lips parted on their own, eyes closing even though there was only an outline of his face to see.

“You sure it’s not the blond babe?” you murmured teasingly.

Steve giggled softly and shook his head, causing the stray strands of his hair to tickle you a little.

“Positive.”

A faint sound of lips being licked, and then his lips brushed against yours. Soft and pliable, eager to taste yours. He hummed softly, pleased, as he pulled you closer. You were easily pulled into his lap as his tongue teased your bottom lip for access. Hands smoothed up and down your waist, the blanket forgotten as your kiss provided enough heat between the two of you. It was silent, save from the gasps and soft, pleasant hums leaving you both. He gently moved his hips while simultaneously guiding yours, a gentle moan leaving him as he found a rhythm. His lips found your neck and your hand made its way into his hair to have something to grasp onto. One hand found the hem of your shirt and he was about to lift it up when—

Brightness. Light. The electricity was back on. Meaning… everyone outside could see you. If there had been anyone, that is. Still, it broke the moment instantly as Steve dropped his hand to your thigh and looked up at you.

“Shit,” he murmured, a lopsided grin on his face. “They really know how to spoil the fun today, huh?”

You smiled down at him and turned around to look outside, one hand resting on his chest for balance.

“Hm… I don’t know. It seems safe to go back home.”

Steve dug his fingers into your hips with eagerness before leaving a soft kiss on your lips.

“Your place or mine?”

end.

If you enjoyed reading this, please know that comments and reblogs are highly appreciated :) Likes are lovely but sadly do nothing to spread the fics around! Help your favorite writers (not saying me - in general) out like that so you can continue to enjoy consuming the free work they put out, it's a win-win.

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misserabella · 1 year

Text

new blood

ellie williams x fem! reader

enemies to lovers!

part 2!

summary; you had finally found joel, the man that had taken away your father. surprises show on the faces of his allies when you join them, instead of hunt them down for revenge, ‘cause you were already a prey under the eyes of your sister; abby. but there’s one of them that seems to take a special interest in you: ellie williams.

cw for this chapter; blood, weapons, chains, hostages, fighting, broken bones, threatening, mentions of abuse and imagery (abusive parent), drug usage (weed)…

REMINDER: english is not my mother language so i apologize if there are some mistakes <3 !¡ either ways, i hope y’all like it. <3

REPOSTS AND COMMENTS ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!<3

Please, under no circumstances, repost my work on any other sites. I do not consent to anyone taking my work and posting it as their own.

Another day begun, and just like the last… you didn’t know how many days you’d been her, chained to this wall, but what you knew is that they all started the same way.

One, Two, Three Clicks, a knock and the door was opening.

Bright green eyes found yours, and as always, you ignored her, just like you ignored those who accompanied her. Every and each day they did the same. Came for questions that you wouldn’t answer. Came for something that you wouldn’t give them. How much would they keep you here? Would they get rid of you eventually? Would you rot here?

You kicked the still full trolley that they had left for you the night before towards the girl that stood at the front of the group. She looked rough, with freckles decorating her cheeks and a scar his right eyebrow. Her hair was up in a half messy bun, and there was a gun hidden underneath her green combat coat. It was cold. You could see it in the way her fingernails were turning just the slightest purplish.

The food spilled, and the water wetted her boots, but you didn’t care, she didn’t either. It had been days since you’d eaten. But you were clever. Who told you they wouldn’t drug you? Humans were scary, the real monsters in a world filled with them.

She simply approached you, boots heavy, a thud accompanying her walk as she threw something towards you as well; your backpack. You were quick to grab it, ripping it open and taking out your dagger under the vigilance of the whole group. She never stopped getting closer and closer —even if you were pointing at her with a weapon that you were more than ready to use—, until she had crouched down in front of you, bits of her hair cupping her cheeks.

“You’re not scared.” you muttered and the auburn haired simply shrugged. “Then unlock me.” you ordered and she smirked.

“How about a ‘thank you first’? If you can’t recall, I’m the one who told them to not shoot you.”

“Why would I fucking thank you? I’m chained to a fucking wall!” you hissed and she arched her eyebrows. Your grip tightened around the switch blade.

“If you kill me they’ll kill you.” she said, and nodded towards those who stared at you through the other side of the room.

“I’d like to see them try.” you smiled.

Two men and three women counting with this fucking asshole talking to you.

That’d be easy.

“What do you say? Want me to give you a matching scar on your other eyebrow? Maybe one across your neck would look good.” the girl simply stared at you, not even startled by your threat. Her green eyes never left yours, not even when she got up and gave you her back to get to the door. “Fucking let me out!”

But the door was closing, and you were left alone once again, completely trapped.

“Fuck!” you smashed the glass of water that stood on your new food trolley —the one that she had brought you for the morning— against the door, smashing it to pieces.

And that’s when it hit you. That’s right. You just needed to break.

“Okay! Let’s try this again.”

You were laying on your side when you heard her, the door opening with a creek along with the wood floorboards underneath the weight of those who had entered the room. You were giving them your back, trying to stay as still as possible, nor even breathing.

You didn’t answer, didn’t even turn. You were getting out of here.

Your lip was bleeding due to your teeth digging so harshly on its flesh, pain shooting through your veins.

Breathe.

The silence that came after that was terrifying, even more the sound of their guns cocking.

Breathe.

Something was wrong. You knew they knew. But they didn’t knew what exactly. So you had an advantage. You just needed to move your pawns the way you needed to and you’d be able to scape.

Steps became closer, and your breath almost hitched. Just a little bit more…

“Hey.”

You moved so fast it was almost impossible to follow, your body suddenly rising and swinging the chain that had had you captive for days. You dodged the bullet that her gun sent towards you and tugged from it when the chain had surrounded her wrist, sending her weapon far away from her reach.

You smiled as you pressed your switch blade against her neck once you’d managed to press her back against your chest, her hair was ticking your skin, and guns were pointing directly to your head.

“Huh-uh…” you chuckled, raising your eyebrows to the group that now threatened you. But you had now the upper hand. “I wouldn’t shoot if I were you. Wouldn’t want her to become my shield, right?”

The red head stood completely still, her green eyes on the oldest man of her companions. Bingo.

“Oh don’t look at me like that, old man. I swear I’m a good girl.” you pouted, still pressing the blade harder against the unknown girl’s neck.

“Ellie-“ he tried and come closer, but Ellie rose one of her hands, stopping him.

Ellie, Ellie, Ellie, Ellie, Ellie….

“Clever girl.” you muttered against her neck, and she hissed.

“You broke the chain?” she inquired and you chuckled.

“Not exactly.”

That when they all noticed. The hand that was holding the blade… It was broken, all bruised and bloody, shaking in pain but still ready to kill if the occasion called for it.

“You broke your hand?” the old man that had tried and step closer to help Ellie inquired, his eyes seeming shocked, even impressed by how far would you go to survive.

“Great, so the pops still has great sight.” you rolled your eyes, and he glared at you, his grip tightening around the gun. “You see… It was great. This whole cheap free hotel, nice food, comfortable floor to sleep…But I was getting pretty fucking tired of being your dog.” you shrugged. “So if you let me go… I promise not to bite.” you smiled, the threat on your eyes sending shivers down the spine of anyone that could ever lay eyes on you.

“You see… That was great.” Ellie suddenly said, and your hand shook against her neck. “The whole I’m so fucking crazy I’m gonna fuck up my hand and scape. But your plan is fucking stupid.” you frowned, but soon enough you were groaning when she suddenly grabbed your fucking hand and simply squeezed it, pain shooting down your spine.

In just a matter of seconds she had you pinned to the ground, your switch blade meters away scattered on the floor.

“You fucking bitch!” you seethed, trying to scape her hold, but she simply squeezed harder, digging her fingertips on your bruised and swollen skin.

“Oh, but I though the dog here was you, aren’t you?” your chest rose at her words, and before she could look away, you had spat on her face.

“Let me go.” you repeated, even if you knew you now were the one in trouble.

“Not until you tell me how you found us.” she answered, and you simply quieted down. “Answer me.” you cried out in pain when she twisted your wrist. The pain was making you see red.

“Ellie…”

“Shut it Dina.” she hissed, and you almost swore you could die when she banged your hand against the floor, making your head spin. “Answer me!”

“Joel!” you whimpered, breathy, sweat decorating your skin. “I came…, for Joel.” you muttered and the whole room fell silent. “And from that silence… I’m guessing it’s one of you, isn’t it? You two have aged since the last time I saw you… But I’d never be able to forget those names…” you smiled, and you saw her whole body stiffen up. “Even if it was years ago that he killed an entire hospital full of people just to save you, isn’t that right… Ellie?” her jaw tightened.

“Who are you?” the old man stepped closer, and you stared at him.

“Just the daughter of the surgeon that was supposed to cut her open.” you shrugged, and you shook when his finger pressed just the slightest against the trigger. “Woah, calm down pops. I’m not here to kill you, just to warn you that they’re coming after you.”

“Who? Who is coming after him?” Ellie inquired and your eyes were back on hers.

“Abby. My dear sister.” you scoffed, and moaned in pain when she tugged on your broken hand. “Fuck.”

“And why would you help us?” Joel spat, a visible frown on his face.

“Because you helped me first by killing that son of a bitch.” you answered. “And because she wants me dead too.”

You hissed and the woman simply sighed, finishing up with the bandaging of your broken hand.

“This… I don’t even have words for this. So you’re telling me that this group lead by… Abby, is coming after Joel to take revenge on him?” a man with brown long slicked hair sighed.

“How many are them?”

“About twenty.” you bit down on your lip when the curly haired tightened the bandages so your hand would be immobilized.

“Weapons?” Joel inquired, right beside the man who had just asked you. They looked similar. Maybe brothers.

“Guns, knives… Pretty much the same stuff you guys have.” you shrugged.

You could feel that pair of green emerald eyes burying into your skull from across the room, but you’ve decided just to ignore it and live peacefully with yourself.

“I still don’t understand it. Why would you make it all the way here to warn us?”

“I already told your, pops. Shit, you really need to check your hearing.” you rolled your eyes. “I’m just thanking you for killing my father that’s it.” you thanked the woman who you recall had been called Maria before when she had finished up with your hand.

“You’re… Thanking me.” you nodded. “For killing your father.” you nodded again and Joel blinked in confusion. “Why?”

“Why what?” you asked.

“Why are you thanking me for killing him? Shouldn’t you be siding up with your sister and coming after me?” you looked at him and then away, falling silent.

You got up from your seat and took your bag. They all watched you put your coat back on and push your gun on the back of your pants.

“Does it really matter? Just take the fucking help and try not to die.” you spat. It was obvious the venom and bitterness on your voice. “I’m done here. I’m leaving, probably to the other side of this fucking country to live in a farm or some shit until the day I peacefully die.” you pulled up the zipper of your coat. “I would say it was nice meeting you. But you treated me like pure shit, so I’d be lying.” you said before making your way towards the door.

“Wait.” Joel’s brother, now known as Tommy, interrupted your leave. “Why don’t you stay? At least for a couple of days, you’re safe here and they would find you. Once we take care of them, you won’t need to hide anymore and leave. At least let us thank you for helping us.” you stated at him, then at the rest.

“I don’t take charity.” you said. “I’ll leave now.”

“You really wanna go?” that was the first time you’ve heard her talk in hours. You could help but look at her, at her auburn hair, freckles and green eyes. “Since you’ve been in the same room for days, you might have not noticed the fact that we’re in the middle of a fucking storm.” and as if the world was trying to make a point, a loud bolt of lightning came crashing down the sky. How the hell hadn’t you heard those before? “And it will get much worse.”

You took a deep breath. Fucking hell.

After a few moments in silence you talked, sighing.

“Fine. But once it’s gone I am too. I’m not fucking staying for tea parties.” you spat.

And just like that, your cage had expanded from a room to the whole town.

Your hand hurt like hell. And you were fucking exhausted. But you couldn’t sleep. Wouldn’t sleep as long as she’d be there.

“Are your ever gonna put that thing down?” her green eyes met the switchblade on your hand.

You were back at her house, where Maria had placed you from the time being until she could find a clean and fixed place for you to stay.

“I think we both know the answer to that.” you answered, squinting your eyes, to what she rolled hers.

“Whatever. I’m gonna smoke. You enjoy your little psychotic breakdown.”

You watched as she made her way towards her side bed table and took a metal little box out of it before coming back to the salon, where the two of you had been sitting.

“Weed? Seriously?” you inquired, eyebrows rising when the smell hit your nose once she had opened the lid.

“I’d better be high if I’ll be sharing my house with you. It’s survival instinct.” she shrugged and you scoffed.

“Bitch.”

“That’s all? Damn, you really know where to hurt don’t you?” the sarcasm was palpable on her voice, and you rolled your eyes.

“Whatever.”

You two fell silent, and you simply stared at her roll the blunt with her slim yet long fingers, lick the paper to seal it and burn it just the slightest so it would have more firmness.

She took a big inhale once it was lit up.

You shrugged your jacket off, uncovering your shoulders and arms, more comfortable now on only your white tank top.

Ellie’s eyes landed on the exposed skin, the emerald shifting once she had took in the multiple scars that decorated them, along with your shoulders and back.

“Pretty aren’t they?” you sarcastically scoffed, and that’s when she noticed that she had been staring for far too long.

“Clickers?” she inquired, taking another drag of her blunt.

“My father.”

Her face fell, her breath hitched as you looked away.

“Let’s say I wasn’t his favorite.” you shrugged. “And that he was a fucking alcoholic with a lot of bad days.”

Ellie looked at you, silently, listening. She felt sorry for you. She never got to have a father, nor a biological one at least, but just to think about how your own blood could have done something as brutal as that to you…

“So now you might understand why I came here. How grateful I am to Joel for having ripped him out of my life. He saved me.” you muttered, still not looking at her.

Long minutes passed by in complete silence.

You two didn’t interact until she slowly but softly offered you her blunt. You rose your eyebrows before accepting it, taking a drag of it and slightly coughing.

“This shit’s strong.” you bitterly said, but still took another long and deep drag, already feeling slightly lightheaded.

“Why thank you. Appreciate it.” she smirked and your mouth slightly fell. “Best in Jackson.” you laughed at her confidence, your laughter filling and warming the room.

You offered it back to her, and as the time passed you two shared it in a deep silence.

Soon enough it went out, and Ellie got up, eyes tired and body heavy.

“Gonna go to my room. There’s more blankets on that basket in case you need ‘em.” you nodded. “Night.”

“Night.”

And with that you laid on the sofa, eyes unable to close. But it was okay. You couldn’t truly remember the last time your mind had been quiet enough to sleep. Ellie stood up all night as well. And the silence in between the two of you couldn’t be any more loud.

a/n; this has been sitting on my drafts for far too long. part two? 👀

ellie williams masterlist! <3

xxx

2K notes · View notes

lieslab · 15 days

Text

Youtiful

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Pairing: og8 X gn reader

Summary: You're feeling insecure about different things and your boyfriend is right there to make you feel better.

Genre: Comfort/hurt

Word Count: 4.2K

A/N: Requestee, I hope I did you right by this one. I think some of these make more sense than others, but I tried my best. For the rest of you that are reading my ongoing Felix siren AU, that's getting updated soon, and then the final request in my inbox will be posted and then we'll be up to date. So if you have a request, drop it in the inbox.

_ _ _

Chan:

When Chan came home from work, he expected you to greet him like you always did. He expected your smile and your sweet voice. He expected the twinkle in your eyes and the excitement that flowed through you as you practically skipped into his arms.

What he wasn’t expecting was your voice without the accent. He stared at you in shock as you greeted him. With his lips turning down into a frown, a similar frown found your face.

“Are you okay?” Your eyes scanned him. “Did something happen at work?” You couldn’t tell what was wrong and it was worrying you.

“Your voice,” he started.

“What about it?”

“Why are you talking like that? What happened to your accent?”

“My accent? Oh, right.” You stepped back and your fingers began to knot together. “Well, I’m trying to break it and stop doing it. I know the fans don’t like it, so I-”

“Don’t do that.”

“Huh?”

“Change yourself for the fans, don’t do that.”

“But I-”

“I don’t care what the fans think. You’re mine and I think your accent is cute. Don’t let them get to you, sweetheart. You have the cutest voice that I’ve ever heard.”

“But sometimes you don’t like it either,” you objected. “Remember how I say certain things and you laugh at me?”

“Aw, I’m not laughing at you in a bad way.” A grin lit up his face and he stepped closer. He gently cupped your cheeks. “I laugh because sometimes you pronounce things in a different way and I think it’s cute. You give me cuteness aggression sometimes.”

He gently cupped your cheeks and continued. “It makes me feel so happy. You get a little upset because I keep laughing and it’s adorable! I could listen to your accent all day. Plus, I have an accent too, remember?”

“Oh, right. I do love your accent and I would be upset if you tried to get rid of it.”

“Exactly! So go back to your accent and let me love you how you are. Look at you!” He cooed and gently squished your cheeks. “What a cutie pie!”

“Ew! Don’t call me that again!” The sound of your natural accent poked through and caused him to giggle. He squished your cheeks harder and his grin widened. Your cheeks went bright red as you tried to escape.

You could try all you wanted, but he wasn’t going to let go until he proved his point.

_ _ _

Minho:

“And then he hit me! Can you believe that?” His hands went up into the air and he sighed. “Kim Seungmin, that little shithead, hit me! I nearly threw him across the room.”

You hummed softly and continued to weave the yarn around your sticks. You had been crocheting for the past twenty minutes when Minho showed up and began to ramble. You didn’t mind it, but you hadn’t spoken once. You kept listening and nodding or occasionally humming.

When Minho finally realized it, he stared at you with a raised eyebrow. “Are you okay over there?” You nodded without a response. “Are you mad at me?”

You shook your head and continued. Your concentration didn’t leave the navy blue strand of yarn. You wrapped it around the hooks and continued making your scarf in peace.

Minho sighed, walked over to the couch beside you, and dropped down. He placed his head on your thigh and glanced up at you. Feeling the warmth, you looked over and your eyes met his.

“Why aren’t you talking to me?”

“Because I talk a lot and I figured you should do most of the talking this time.”

“Talk a lot?”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed that I talk a lot. I ramble a lot and it’s probably annoying for you. I’m listening, just so you’re aware. I can’t believe he hit you, that’s practically elder abuse.”

A quip of a smile began to appear on Minho’s face until you went back to crocheting without another word. He didn’t like that you thought you talked too much. He liked your rambles and loved listening to you.

“I don’t like it when you sit here quietly without speaking. It makes me feel like I’m talking to a statue. If I wanted to date a statue, I’d just go snog one at the art museum.”

You didn’t respond. You were briefly distracted by fixing the yarn that had tangled around the metal hooks. Your eyebrows furrowed while your fingers worked to unloop the near knot that was forming.

When you didn’t respond, Minho sat up. He leaned over to your ball of yarn on the ground and glanced at you. Your gaze was still set on the hooks. Without a word, he leaned down and gently grabbed the neatly wrapped ball.

You didn’t have time to react. With a manic giggle, he took off grabbing the ball of yarn. He instantly began to unravel it while he ran. Your jaw dropped in shock.

“Minho! Give it back!” You cried out as you stood up.

“Talk to me!”

“You jerk!”

You watched as he laughed and zig-zaged through the apartment unraveling it all. You weren’t mad, you were just shocked. It caught you so off guard, you weren’t sure how to react.

“I said talk to me! Speak! Do you want me to offer you a treat?”

You yelled as you chased him throughout the apartment. Curse words flew out of your mouth and he kept jumping onto furniture and leaping off of it.

By the time he collapsed, you were right beside him. Both of you were panting heavily and sheer sweat soaked your foreheads. After a few seconds, Minho finally spoke. “Have I ever said I love your voice?”

“You could have-” You sucked in a deep breath. “You could have just said that.”

“What’s the fun in that?”

“I’m going to kill you.”

“Good luck mustering up the strength after that workout.”

“Asshole.”

“Glad to hear your voice again, babe.”

_ _ _

Changbin:

Trigger warning: mentions of food, weight loss, calories, skipping a meal, and bingeing.

“Why aren’t you having a bowl of the delicious soup you made?” Changbin asked.

You were strung over the side of the couch and hanging upside down. Your hair hung down towards the floor and your arms dangled freely.

“Because.”

“Because is not a good enough answer.”

“Well you see,” you started, “I’m trying to lose weight.”

“Oh?”

“And before you throw a hissy fit, it’s one meal I’m missing. Don’t you dare make a big deal out of it. I know how many calories I’m supposed to have and all. I already talked to my doctor and I-”

“So…you’re skipping out on a meal for lower calories?”

“I want to make a specific dish for dinner, but it has a higher calorie count. I figure that if I skip this meal, I can eat more for dinner and then I-”

“I don’t mean to be rude, but are you sure that it won’t lead to a binge?”

“What happened to believing in me?”

“What happened to attainable goals?”

“This is attainable! Why can’t you believe in me for once?”

He walked over and plopped down beside you. “I always believe in you. Why do you need to lose weight anyway?”

“Because I don’t feel good about my body and I want to do better.”

“Promise you’re not going to go to super extreme lengths?”

“Yeah, but honestly-” Using your core muscles, you jerked yourself back upright. Your eyes found his. “I’m shocked that you’re not lecturing me.”

“Please believe that I would like to, but I’ve also cut meals for weight loss on some days. I trust that you’ll be careful with this and do it in a way that won’t damage your body. Just remember that you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“I know I don’t have to, but sometimes change is good, isn’t it?”

“I think it depends on the type of change and how it’s created.”

Your eyes wandered over to the soup. You spent a good chunk of time chopping up vegetables and beef for the vegetable soup. It was a little cooler outside and your stomach rumbled. You finally pulled your eyes away, trying to distract yourself.

“You know that you can have a small bowl, right? You can have a small bowl now and you can join my workout later. There’s a treadmill at the gym. I know you’re not a fan of lifting weights. You can look pretty and watch Binnie get big and strong.”

“That is so tempting.”

Changbin picked up his bowl, grabbed a spoonful of the soup, and began to loudly slurp it. Your glare instantly sent him into laughter. You huffed and got up.

“Where are you going?” He called after you.

“To get a small bowl of my soup. If you lied about the treadmills, I’m going to drop a weight on your foot.”

“You don’t even have the strength to pick up the amount I lift.”

“If there’s a will, there’s a way.”

_ _ _

Hyunjin:

For the third day in a row, you weren’t home when Hyunjin was home. He frowned and kicked off his shoes. He deposited his bag in your shared room and waited for you to get home.

Hours later, it was pitch black outside. You fumbled with the lock and your keys. Hyunjin was on the couch, scrolling through Instagram, when the jingling caught his attention. He was up within seconds and rushing towards the door.

When you finally got the door open, Hyunjin smiled softly at you. “Hi, baby.”

You stumbled forward and practically collapsed in his arms. Panicked, he wrapped his arms around your waist to keep you standing. “What’s wrong? Are you alright?”

“I’m so tired.”

“I can’t believe your boss is making you stay over so late an-”

“I’m choosing to stay over later.”

His eyebrows scrunched in confusion. “What? Why? Baby, you’re barely getting enough sleep and you ar-”

“The extra money is good.”

“You are literally unraveling at the seams. You already have plenty of money.” He gently brushed your hair behind your ear. “You don’t need to earn more money.”

“I need more. People are speculating that I use you for your money. I have to show them that I-”

“Woah, woah, woah. First of all, that’s nobody’s business. Second of all, you don’t do that. You already make enough and you’re going to kill yourself if you keep this up. Your body isn’t meant to only sleep for four to five hours a night.”

“I need the money.” Your eyes slipped shut and you kept babbling half-awake. Hyunjin pulled you inside and shut the door behind you. “Just a little more,” you mumbled.

“Baby, you know I love you, right? I’m not going to let you keep pressing yourself like this. Thank goodness it’s Friday because you need some sleep.”

“I’m supposed to go back tomorrow.”

“Don’t worry about that right now.” He gently scooped your legs from beneath you and carried you bridal style. Your head fell onto his chest and you let out a sigh.

“That’s it, there you go. Don’t worry about work right now, just focus on my voice. I’m going to get you ready for bed and then we’re going to cuddle and go to sleep, okay?”

You let out a soft hum in agreement. In the bedroom, he slowly pulled you out of your work clothes and slipped your exhausted body into pajamas. You didn’t fight back against it as your head fell towards your chest.

When he was finished, he crawled into the bed beside you and tugged you closer. He pressed his lips to your temple, leaned over, and switched off the light. “Sleep tight, I love you.”

The only response he got was your soft snores. He chuckled and tugged you closer. As long as you were okay, he was happy.

_ _ _

Han:

“Okay, so I’ve got the newest anime and all of our favorite snacks. We’re going to order from your favorite restaurant later and have takeout for dinner.”

You were calm, cool, and collected as you laid out the plan. Han blinked in shock and glanced down at all the snacks you had brought. He wasn’t expecting this, you just showed up and announced you had a surprise in tow.

“Where are the gummies?” He asked.

Your face fell a little as you internally panicked. “Gummies? What gummies? Did I forget to pick up some? I didn’t know you liked those I-”

“The ones that you like? You said you got our favorite snacks. You always eat them first. They’re like the patties from SpongeBob, you love them!”

“Oh, those.”

“Couldn’t find them?”

“I didn’t want them.”

“Why?”

You shrugged, “just didn’t feel like it.”

“Oh?” He sat down on the couch beside you and watched as you put the movie on. “You didn’t have to do all of this for me. I feel like I’ve been spoiled.”

“I wanted to watch the new anime too because,” your voice raised in pitch, “it looked good.”

Your voice only changed like that when you lied. Han’s eyes narrowed at you and he glanced down at the snacks again. Something was off about your behavior, but he couldn’t place it.

“What?”

“Why are yo-”

“Oh!” You forced yourself to smile. “The show is already starting!” You shoved a pack of his favorite chips into his hand and turned your attention to the screen.

Half-way through the movie, Han noticed you weren’t paying attention. Your eyes were on the wall and you looked a little lost. Actually, you looked pretty sad.

After realizing it, Han grabbed the remote and paused the movie. The sudden silence grabbed your attention and you glanced over. Noticing the pause symbol in the corner of the screen, you looked at Han.

He was staring back at you with a look of confusion. Nerves began to bubble up in your gut, but you held it back. “Is something wrong?”

“I think something is wrong with you.”

“Why?”

“You’re acting off.”

“No, I’m not.”

He snapped his fingers together and glanced back down at the snacks. “That’s it! Where are all your favorite snacks? No wonder it looked so strange. The stuff you usually snack on isn’t here.”

“So?”

“You don’t even like anime movies!”

“That is no-” Your voice cracked and your eyes widened in shock. You cleared your throat and continued. “That’s not true.”

“Yes, it is.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Why are you acting so differently? I don’t like it. Did something happen?”

When your bottom lip quivered, he crawled closer. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

“You’ve been distant,” you muttered weakly. “I thought you got tired of me. Maybe if I liked more of the things you liked, maybe you’d like me more and pay more attention.”

He felt like pure shit. He tugged you into his arms and rubbed your back. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t even realize it. The band is having a comeback and I’ve been stressed. I’m really sorry, I had no idea.”

“I love you for you and I don’t want you to change who you are. I love you and I love that we have our differences. It makes for good conversations and sometimes I like arguing and bickering with you about our dislikes.”

“These are gross,” you mumbled as you held up the pack of candy that you had been forcing yourself to eat.

“Nuh-uh!”

“Yeah-huh!”

Han pounced on you and began to tickle the sides of your torso. You screeched and the bag went flying backwards. Candy littered the carpet, but neither of you cared. As you laughed and squirmed, a grin grew on his face.

He liked you for you and nobody was going to take that away from him.

_ _ _

Felix:

“Goodnight,” you mumbled as you climbed into bed beside Felix.

“Goodnight, honey.” His eyes were glued down to his Nintendo Switch. He was saving his game when a flash of white caught his eyes.

He glanced over with a raised eyebrow. You shifted further beneath the blankets to get comfortable. A white sock hat had slipped over your head. Confusion began to fill him as he watched you.

You let out a sigh and shut your eyes. Felix put away his device and slipped beneath the covers towards you. “Honey, why are you wearing a hat to bed?”

“My forehead is too big.”

“What?”

“My hairline is receding and you can’t see it now. You don’t have to look at my five-head this way. I’m saving your precious eyes from damage.”

“There is nothing wrong with yo-”

“Oh, you can say that now, but you haven’t seen what the last hairstyle I did looked like. More hair fell out and I’m fucked. I should get this hat super glued to my head.”

“That’s an awful idea, honey.”

“I’d be doing you a favor.”

“It can’t be that bad.”

“Yes, it can. I look like an old fuck! I’m still so young and yet it keeps falling out. I look like Megamind.”

“Well…Megamind is cute to some people.”

The scrunched up look on your face made him roll over and bury his face into the bed to stop from laughing. You playfully whacked his shoulder and spun around. Jerking the blanket around you tighter, you pulled away.

“Wait!” He cried out and pulled himself up. “Where are you going? No, no, no! Don’t do that! Don’t leave me! Baby, please, I’m sorry!” He rolled closer and wrapped his arms around your back.

“You’re being mean,” you mumbled.

“I know and I’m sorry. I wasn’t lying though. I’d love you even if you were bald. Do you know why it’s happening?”

“I don’t know, but I feel like a failure. Maybe it’s the dying and bleaching of my hair or maybe it’s genetics. Maybe I really am getting old.”

“No, you’re not getting old. I mean you are, but you’re making it sound like you’re ancient.”

“I feel like it.”

“How about this? Tomorrow I’ll talk to the stylist that does my hair. I’ll ask her if she can recommend something. If that doesn’t work, maybe we can try something else. Try not to worry too much. You’re still beautiful, I promise.”

“Seungmin would laugh at me and compare me to Chan.”

“But you’re not dating Seungmin, you’re dating me and I love you just the way you are.” He reached back, flipped off the light, slipped his hand down, and gently pulled off your hat.

“I can’t see you in the dark, but I know that can’t be too comfortable. Plus, it might pull on your hair and make it worse. Focus on my cuddles instead.”

“You’re like a koala.”

He laughed and curled his body tighter around yours. “Yeah, but you love me and my koala cuddles.”

“Always.”

_ _ _

Seungmin:

He didn’t mean to catch you in the bathroom, but he did. You smiled and then frowned. Your mouth contoured in another way and then you frowned again. Over and over it went and it happened.

“Hey you, what are you doing?” He stepped further into the bathroom and wrapped his arms around your waist. His chin rested on top of your head.

“Do I smile funny to you?”

“What do you mean?”

“A trio of girls asked me for a photo earlier since I’m your significant other. As they were walking away, one of them said that I smiled funny.”

“You look funny too.”

Hurt flashed in your eyes and Seungmin’s grip around you constricted. “Baby, I’m kidding. You know I love how you look and I love your smile.”

“My teeth could be straighter.”

“Don’t do that. Who cares? Plenty of people have crooked teeth. They make you unique and-”

“That didn’t make me feel any better.”

“I could always shove my tongue in your mouth via french kissing.”

“Seungmin!”

“If I’ve learned to like my smile, you have to learn to like yours. We have cute smiles and the next time I hear you say something bad, you can choke on my tongue.”

“When you put it like that, that’s disgusting.”

“And so is self-hatred. We’re hot and sexy and people wish they were us.” He stood up straighter, kept his arm around the front of your waist, and pulled out his phone.

“What are you doing?” You asked.

He pulled up his camera and pointed it at the mirror. “Smile big for me, baby. I’m gonna send this to the group chat and remind the guys what they’re missing out on.”

_ _ _

I.N:

An eagle screech and a loud crash came from the kitchen. It jerked I.N out of the livestream that he was in. He quickly apologized to the fans, insisted he’d be back soon, and ended the live. Rushing into the kitchen, he called your name worriedly.

He stopped once he got in the kitchen. You were in tears and standing on top of the counter top. Your bare arms and legs were speckled bright red. He was worried he was bleeding until he realized that the scent of tomatoes hung in the air.

Glancing down, a jar of pasta sauce sat shattered all over the floor. It was everywhere too. It was on the floor and slathered the hardwood. It dotted the fridge and a large puddle mapped out in every direction.

“What happened?”

“I couldn’t reach the stupid sauce! I hate being short! I hate it!”

“Oh, you poor thing.” He walked around the mess and came over to you.

Since you reached adulthood, you’ve always been short for your age. Due to genetics, you barely made it past five feet. Everything was a struggle when you were short.

I.N naturally put things on the shelf and you couldn’t reach them. The two of you had a taller fridge and you could reach the bottom freezer just fine. The upper shelf that the milk and bottled drinks went on was another story.

When you went out with I.N on a busy day, you always had to cling tight to his hand. You were always afraid you’d get lost in the crowds. You hated being so short. In your eyes, there was nothing good about it.

“Are you injured?”

“My height has been injured since birth.”

“I’m being serious. Were you cut by the glass? Do I need to take you to the hospital?”

“I should sue my parents for emotional distress.”

“Come here, baby.” He carefully lifted you up and off the counter.

“You’re going to get sauce on you.”

“I don’t care. Let me get sauced up, I can always shower. Let’s go get you cleaned up and out of these tomato covered clothes.”

You felt like crying again. You were having one of those days where it felt like everything had been going wrong. Too many things had built up and this was your breaking point. Frustration and annoyance had built up and now you were left defeated.

“There’s nothing good about being short,” you mumbled.

“I don’t think that’s true. Just because you’re short, it doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. Changbin is short too, remember? A lot of the band is short and-”

“They’re all taller than me.”

“But for our group, we’re pretty short. You don’t think we get intimidated when we see our taller seniors? How about award ceremonies? Imagine talking to a reporter that’s multiple inches taller. I feel short sometimes too, but you know what?”

“Huh?”

“You don’t have to let your height define you. Sure, you might be short, but I bet tall people wish they were your size sometimes. When you’re super tall, you get noticed a lot.”

“But I could be average height.”

“And I’m glad you’re not. It makes it easier to find you in crowds. I’m always looking down and I’m forced to remember what your shoes look like. I get to notice things, like your clothes, that I might not pay too much attention to if you were taller.”

“Plus, you’re good at hide and seek. In cars, airplanes, and trains, you have more room to spread out because you’re shorter. It’s better than being taller and feeling like you have little room.”

“I guess I didn’t think of that.”

“Plus, you have a shorter range of motion. If you ever get violent with someone, you don’t have to hit very far. Taller people tend to have longer limbs.”

“I see your points.”

“I already know that you shop in the kids section for your jeans. Technically, you get to save money because that stuff is cheaper.”

“Oh, yeah!” You smiled. “How does it feel to pay full price for jeans?”

“It makes me feel broke afterwards.”

“You have so much money!”

“So? Doesn’t mean I like paying so much on a good pair of jeans! If you can complain about being short, I can complain about the price of jeans. They’re outrageous!”

He continued rambling on and on while leading you to the bathroom. By the time he got there, he was angry and out of breath. He put you down and huffed.

“Innie?”

“What?”

“I love you.”

He blinked and a smile began to fill his cheeks. “Yeah, yeah, I love you too or whatever.”

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ |

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leafydahbeafy · 18 days

Text

“Do you ever stop talking?”

Summary: You and Sal are chilling in his car thats parked out by Wendigo Lake.. some feelings lingering in the air.

Word count: 1.4 k

content warning: nothing real bad here, fluff!! Sal smoking cigarettes, mild cursing, slight cringe at the end

A/n: first time ever posting my writing so don’t eat me up like hounds alr 😭? I don’t mind criticism and I’d appreciate it. Thanks! 💕

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Cmon, light me”

“Fine fine”

Fake reluctance was plastered on your face as you leaned over the center console of Sal’s car with a lighter held firmly in your hand, holding it out for Sal to light his cigarette. You flicked open the hood and pressed your thumb down on the fork, a small flame emitting from the lighter. The soft glow of the flame being the only light shared between the two of you in the old dingy car that you are sure is being held by a thin strand and is destined to break down on the two of you at any point in time.

Sal couldn’t help himself as his gaze shifted from the lighter to the light from the small flame that caressed your face and outlined the features on your face. It awoke a feeling inside of him that almost felt suffocating from how intense it was. A feeling he so desperately tried to fight away and to bury them in the very deepest pits of his chaotic mind. But yet you always preserved and shone as bright as the sun in his mind. A rigid smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, One that could not be seen though, as you couldn’t see it behind the prosthetic mask that covered his brutally scarred face.

Without another word being shared between the two of you, Sal stuck the cigarette through the mouth slit in his mask and placed it in his lips. He leaned forward with his eyes still trained on your face as he let you light the cigarette he held in his mouth. It took everything in you to stop yourself from squirming underneath his yearnful gaze, the unspoken chemistry that you and Sal shared was becoming increasingly harder to ignore. No one person could thrill you in the way that Sal does, no one.

Sal moved his face away from the flame, shifting in his spot as he leaned back into the car seat. He took a long drawl from his cigarette, puffing out the smoke from his nose as a soft sigh of content escaped his lips. You watched in awe at how mesmerizing this man was, the way his hair so perfectly fell across his shoulders and for god's sake let's be honest even just the way this man breathes has you stumbling over yourself. The hum of music coming from the radio had drowned out all other noises as you found yourself getting lost in your thoughts.

Sal’s gaze had flickered back over to where you were sitting in the passenger's seat, the corners of his eyes crinkling as a smile spread across his lips at your daydreaming state. A chuckle rumbled in his throat which almost immediately snapped you out of your whirlwind of a mind. Your eyes shifted up to meet Sal’s amused look, a faint blush spread across your face that you desperately tried to hide by fake coughing. This only caused Sal to become more humored by your actions, his eyebrows raising as he stared at you in amusement.

“Whatcha thinkin’ about hm?” He hummed as he took another drawl from his cigarette, the slight rasp to his voice had stirred the butterflies that flapped wildly in the confines of your stomach.

“Oh… nothing much..” You responded with a forced smile that you used to hide behind your true feelings. In reality you wanted to grab his stupid face and scream “GOD I LOVE YOU, YOU IDIOT”. But yet you didn’t.. You wished you had the confidence to do so. You were always more of a quiet, introverted person that primarily kept to themselves. Well that was until Sal barged into your life like a hangover after a night of hardcore drinking and clubbing with your friends. At first he was a headache and a parasite you so desperately wanted to get rid of as he had started to disrupt the very foundation that you had built your life upon. But as a parasite does, he had weaseled his way into your heart and now here you were. Sitting together alone in his car by Wendigo lake after he had hit you up, asking if you wanted to sneak out with him.

You had gotten so warped with the thoughts that ate at your very being that you hadn’t noticed the electric blue-haired boy shifting in his seat, getting up into your face. Realization at the close proximity of you two had finally registered in your brain and a more prominent blush crept up onto your cheeks as you sucked in your breath in anticipation. Sal’s face was mere centimeters away from yours and it made it impossible to fight back every urge to kiss him. He didn’t even seem to notice your flustered state as his desirous gaze had delicately traced over every feature on your face.

He eventually moved his head back ever so slightly, his eye glossing over as he pondered, “Nothing huh” He whispered thoughtfully with a click of his tongue before his gaze returned to normal and flickered back over to look into your eyes as if he were dissecting the look in your eyes for something. “Doesn’t seem like nothing, no shame this is a safe space. Sal’s little therapy box, here you can tell me your deepest.. Darkest secrets and they won’t ever leave this car” He continued with a more amused glint to his eyes “I pinky promise.” He held out his pinky to you with such a serious look to his face that it almost made you burst out laughing. He was dead serious about this pinky promise thing huh?

“It’s nothing that serious!! I was just thinking that’s all!” You rushed out while waving away his pinky that he so generously held out for you to accept in a soul binding promise “..at least nothing I can say aloud..” you had whispered the last part out under your breath but much to your dismay Sal had caught that.

“I’m sure that isn’t true.” His eyes softened as he reached out to put his hand atop yours in what was meant to be in a comforting manner but only strived to make the situation worse for you. A tingling sensation spread through your hand to your whole body from where his hand lay on yours. You let out a breath that made your body shudder in response as you tried to formulate words on your tongue.

“Sal…” His name was like honey on your tongue “I.. do you like me..?” you regretted the words as soon as they left your lips, god you wish you could just shove them back down your throat. Sal’s look of confusion didn’t help with how you were feeling either, his eyebrows furrowing softly as he stared at you.

“Of course I like you. Why wouldn’t I?” No man has also ever made you facepalm as much as Sal has. You couldn’t help but look up at him with a look of bewilderment.. Was he serious? There’s no way that flew over his pretty little head.

“I– no Sal I er meant.. Do you.. Like like me?” You could feel yourself cringe at your own words “Oh for fucks sake, im done with tiptoeing around this. Ahem. Sal, do you love me at all? Not as a friend, romantically.” Your voice trembled ever so slightly, the most serious look you could muster was etched across your face so Sal would know this wasn’t a joke. You were dead serious.

“Do I love you?”

The words echoed off of Sal’s tongue in such a way that it made you wince slightly, “I shouldn’t have said anything! Sorry–! God.. I'm such an idiot.” You rushed out, the last part came off as a whisper as you retracted your hand from his “I Just– I don’t know. We always seem to be hanging out.. It seems like it’s more than just friends.” Due to your rambling you had noticed the sound of someone unbuckling straps, “And– and I’m.. i’m such a–”

Calloused fingers firmly held either side of your face and before you could even get another word out, Sal’s scarred lips ghost over yours and bring you in for a short yet passionate kiss, your brain overheating at the action as a feeling of ecstasy washed over you.

“Do you ever stop talking?”

“Oh shut up.”

#sal fisher x reader #sally face #sally face x reader #x reader #sal fisher

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ultralightpoe · 3 months

Text

Question? - Bucky Barnes

Authors Note : I always thought this one was unfinished so I never posted it but it's gotta be released from the drafts so here it is folks.

Word Count: 5800

Warnings: mentions of murder

Requests: OPEN

Main Master list - - Midnights Event List

(Thank you for the gif @falcvns )

x Enjoy! x

I remember

Therapists were no help to your situation, this much you were sure.

They tried, they really did. But there was no answer to your grief. Your family were good people and there was no doubt in you that that’s what got them killed. But you were supposed to meet the same fate as them, the only thing that went wrong was the fact that you managed to escape after watching the Winter Soldier slaughter them.

He had a moment of hesitation, one moment of pure eye contact as his hand inched for the knife that had been meant for you, and you had bolted.

And though the therapist tried to help you with the trauma, but there was no understanding. You watched your entire family get slaughtered, and then years later their killer would be renamed a fucking hero.

You were cursed with the memory of it all, scarred for life.

And the rest of the world was not.

It was your burden to bear.

Good girl, sad boy

Big city, wrong choices

We had one thing going on

I swear that it was something

'Cause I don't remember who I was before you

Painted all my nights

He spots you the day he moves in, carrying a simple duffle bag as he tries to hide in the back of the elevator. Sam had helped him move what little belongings he had earlier in the day, and tried his best to talk to him about what little things he had in the first place.

But Bucky didn’t listen, or tried not to. Truth was he was trying his best to add more to the collection, but it was hard. There was some stuff he couldn’t shake. And there was some stuff that Sam didn’t understand, the way people looked at him.

It was a 50/50 most of the time. Sometimes they smiled and were excited once they recognized him. Sometimes, like his last landlord, they freak out and get rid of him as fast as they can.

His last landlord broke his lease, as fast as he could, and Bucky struggled to find another apartment. Sam and Sarah helped him, and since the landlord was breaking the lease Bucky was able to get his rent and security deposit back. Not that it mattered since he was getting paid from the government anyways.

The elevator was beginning to fill up, an older lady with a dog on a tiny leash followed by a younger kid with his mom. He pushes himself further back into the corner, trying not to make eye contact with the mom not wanting to scare her. An older man limps in, says something flirty to the older woman before leaning against the wall. Some kid with a ragged beard wearing a colorful hoodie comes in, his eyes red and glazed, music blasting in his headphones as he nods to everyone before turning to the front. He smells of skunk as Sam would say and Bucky has to hold his breath to stop from inhaling it. His heightened senses forming a headache quickly.

But then there was you walking in.

Unlike the others he watches as your eyes mark everyone, then mark all exits and safety paths in sight before entering the elevator. He watches as you cross your arms, moving to press your floor before stopping and seeing it had already been pressed.

You must know everyone in the elevator already because when the doors start closing your head snaps to take one more look, and he watches as you spot him. He immediately casts his eyes down, keeping his hands in his pockets which makes it hard to watch your reaction. But he hears you inhale before turning back to the front.

He lifts his eyes then, only to see that you were watching him from the reflection of the doors. Clever.

There was something familiar, what was it about you that rung through his mind.

His heart speeding up as his eyes narrowed, through the distorted reflection he tries to recognize you. It’s right there, right there right there. If he could see your actual face then he can-

You whirl, eyes wide and your face flushed as if you just saw a ghost right as the doors open on the third floor. It wasn’t the right floor but within a flash you are running, sprinting from the elevator and dashing for the staircase.

He can do nothing but watch, while the others all turn to each other with odd expressions while Bucky blinks.

It’s clear then, it wasn’t Bucky that knew you. It was the Winter Soldier.

A color I've searched for since

But one thing after another

Lost in situations, circumstances

Miscommunications and I

Have to say

By the way

I just may like some explanations

It wasn’t him, it couldn’t be. It was just your imagination.

The view from the elevator was distorted, and you couldn’t actually see him but the second he narrowed those eyes, you saw him. Him that stormy night, the small step and the way his hand reached for his knife, the notch in his brow before you bolted.

You tore through the streets, hearing people yell as you bumped into them. Your breath was wasted and your body tight as you ran and ran and ran.

The only reason you stop is because a loud honking sounds out and a hand is snatching you back with a yell right before you get plowed by a red car driving faster than light.

“ARE YOU CRAZY LADY?!” Someone screeches, pulling your attention to the face yelling into yours. “You nearly got killed, stupid!”

“S-sorry.” You manage to mumble out, trying to figure out where you ran to. “Where am I?”

“Jesus christ, someone call 911!” He snaps, keeping a hand on your shoulder as people crowd around. “How many fingers am I holding up?”

You couldn’t concentrate, you could barely see. The Winter Soldier was back, and he was coming for you.

You were in trouble.

Can I ask you a question?

Did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room

And every single one of your friends was

Making fun of you

But 15 seconds later they were clapping too?

Then what did you do?

“You’re being crazy.” Someone laughs, drawing Bucky’s attention from where he sat on the couch. It had been a week since he moved in and he was still on edge with the new surroundings, every sound drew his attention. The windows were still bordered up and he made sure no one could get in.

The tv, though it was on, was kept on silent so he could keep an ear out which is what he was doing right now when he heard it.

“I’m not being crazy.” Another voice, one thrilling enough to make his heart speed up, sounds out with a clipped tone. Defensive and hurt. “You didn’t have to walk me up, okay?”

“Oh come on. Please don’t be mad at me-”

“I’m not mad. I get it. I can’t sleep on your couch forever.” The clipped angelic voice sounds out once more. “I just….. I could have sworn that…. I’m fine.”

The sound of a door swinging open follows before both of the voices head inside and he finds himself heading closer to the door in an attempt to hear them. It’s not like he has to try hard with the super hearing, their voices catching quickly.

“I just think you need to keep going to therapy. I know you said-”

“I am still going to therapy, okay? The only reason I called you is because the hospital wouldn’t let me be released without someone.” The voice snaps back. “Can you just go? I already feel embarrassed. So just go.”

The door opens quickly after that and Bucky finds himself peering out the peephole of his door as you lean against the door watching the other person storm off as you stay there. Once your friend is out of sight he watches as your eyes trace over all the doors in the hall, calculating and nervous, before they land on his door and you watch for a moment.

He doesn’t know what pulls him to do it but he opens the door, pretending to be looking as if he heard a sound.

“You hear something?” He asks, still pretending to look. He hears you inhale sharply and finally he looks up to see your eyes on his arm, tears welling up as you freeze there. “I…. um.”

What could he say? What could he say to someone he had obviously wronged but doesn’t remember it? How could he make it better?

“I’m sorry.” Good way to start. “Whatever happened I am sorry. But it’s important to know that I…. I have been cleared of-”

That snaps you out of the daze as you push back into your apartment and slam the door quickly.

Shit.

Did you leave her house in the middle of the night?

Did you wish you'd put up more of a fight?

When she said it was too much?

Do you wish you could still touch ...her?

It's just a question

A sound had woken you up from your dreams, pulling you from the deep sleep quickly and sending every bolt of fear through you. There had been a loud bang, and you pulled from the princess sheets your mom had gotten you for your birthday, the face of snow white staring back at you as you leaned across Belle’s face to look out the window.

A strike of lightning has you shrieking out, dashing from the bed in a your alien pajamas as you run across the hallway to your parents room, barging through the door to climb onto their bed and find your mother. They were normally in bed by now, but you were shocked to see that neither of them were there.

So you jumped up at another strike of lightning, crying softly before running down the hall to see if they were in the living room where your sister often watched her cartoons.

You didn’t think anything when you slipped in the red liquid by your brother's door, and you missed the red handprint swiped by the wall next to your sister's door.

When you spot your moms figure on the couch you let the sobs free as you run to her side and force yourself under her arm to cuddle her. She doesn’t hug back, and this pulls another sob as you look up to see a red slash across her neck, reaching a hand up in the dim lighting to see pull at the necklace.

Only there is no necklace and you soon realize it’s a cut across her neck, your hand coming back bloody and warm. A loud scream pulls from you as you stand up, looking around for you dad sti screaming your lungs out.

That’s when you see him, slashing across your fathers throat quickly before turning to you, his blue eyes narrowing in on you right as you move.

He takes one step forward, but then grunts as if in pain, like he was fighting himself as he stared at her. His hand reaches for the knife strapped to his thigh and like a bolt you dash out, the rain hitting you as you scream and run anywhere you can.

Half-moon eyes, bad surprise

Did you realize, out of time

She was on your mind

With some meathead guy

That you saw that night

But you were on something

“Her family used to take in strays apparently, and had a safehouse filled with kids escaping Hydra. Dad was a scientist, and knew how to get all the kids out until Hydra caught them. Sent the Winter Soldier not long after.” Sam reads out as Bucky walks with him across the pads of the gym, keeping his eyes trained for the person they were here to look for.

“Figured that much.” He sighs out, remembering the way you looked at him. “What are the chances I end up across the hall from her?”

“Not high. Fate or something.” Sam sighs, closing the phone before he spots the figure. “What are you planning on doing?”

“I can’t lose another place to live, and I doubt she can either. If she’s scared there is a reason so I have to find a way to fix it. Which would be better if I knew what I did.” Before Sam could ask anything else they are upon their target, giving him hard eyes.

“Captain Black America.” The man grunts, a smug smirk playing at his lips as he lifts more weights. “How ya doing?”

“Cut the crap.” Bucky snaps, clenching his fists. “We have some questions.”

It was one drink after another

Caught in politics and gender-roles

And you're not sure and I don't know

Got swept away in the gray

I just may like to have a conversation

You didn’t know what to do, you were stuck.

Breaking the lease would screw you over, you couldn’t hide at your friends places forever and you couldn’t stay in your apartment forever. The Winter Soldier lived across the hall from you. The man that slaughtered your family lived across from you. The only correct solution you could come to? Getting black out drunk.

Somehow you ended up in your apartment building, blinking at the elevator buttons as you lean your head against the wall in an attempt to stabilize yourself.

“Now what are you doing out so late missy? Work keep you again?” The voice of Mrs. Day sounds out, a small touch on your shoulder as she and another figure enter the elevator. You couldn’t concentrate on either of them.

“I…. wenf ou…. The bwar… bwar… ber.. I went-tt to the b-” At some point you give up, eyebrows pinching together as you point to the buttons on the elevator. You miss your button, sliding down the wall.

A hand shoots out to catch you before you hit too hard, making sure you land softly before pressing the level you needed.

“Oh dear, back in my day girls never went to the bar.”

“Screw you Mrs. Day.” You blurt quickly before you realize what you said and your hand slaps over your mouth. A deep chuckle sounds out as you shake your head. “No. I didn’t say that.”

“She didn’t.” Someone mumbles. “It was someone else.”

“It was someone else.” You agree.

The elevator dings and the old woman scurries off as you close your eyes and lean against the wall. “I’m gonna sleep here.”

“You okay?”

“I’m gonna sleep here. This is where I sleep now.” You slur out, waving your hand around with your eyes still closed as the elevator closes again and you lay back down. You actually manage to haze out a bit before a ding sounds out again and someone puts their hands under your shoulders and lifts you easily.

“I live on the 5th- go to bed.”

“Okay. I gotcha.” The voice huffs out a laugh, carrying you easily before they get to a familiar door. “You gotta key?”

“Nooooo.” You giggle, opening your eyes a little wider. “It’s unlocked.”

“No, it isn’t. You sure you don’t have a key?”

“No key. Call me if you need let in and I’ll be there, okay?” You mumble, pulling out your phone and lifting it to your ear. “I’m on my way to unlock the-”

But before you can finish your sentence a wave of nausea hits you, you lurch forward quickly and hit your forehead on the door harshly, sliding down the wall and onto the floor below.

“Okay. Okay. Take it easy.” The deep voice hums out, and you are lifted once more before they walk across the hall and unlock their own door easily.

You are wrapped with the deep scent of a calming earthen scent, with a bit of a licorice scent that makes you giggle out. “Licorishhhhh.”

“I’m gonna set you down on the couch, okay?”

“I love licorice. Just so you know.” You continue before being set down, without question you curl up on the couch in a small ball.

“There is a glass of water by you and a trash can. But the bathroom is down the hall. Okay?”

“Is it raining?”

“Yeah, just started.”

“I don’t like when it rains.” You whisper out, a blanket put over you gently before you pass out fully.

Can I ask you a question?

Did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room

And every single one of your friends was

Making fun of you

But 15 seconds later they were clapping too?

Bucky was torn between hiding out in his room until he heard you wake up and run, but the other half of him wanted to keep camped out in the main window area to make sure you were okay. From the spot you had passed out on the couch it was the perfect vantage point for any sniper, even with the newspaper he had.

So, after hours of deliberation, he ended up on the floor by the windows, facing you as he slept on the floor. The surprise came when he himself passed out, on the floor by the windows.

He slept without a single nightmare, the image of your drunken smile keeping him sated.

He only wakes up when the sound of feet padding across the floor sounds out, sitting up quickly right as he hears your body crash onto the bathroom floor before you retch into the toilet. A grimace pulling at his face as he tries to zone it out before shuffling around and standing to trudge to the kitchen.

He starts a pot of coffee, grabbing a couple eggs from the fridge and shuffling to the stove. Making as much noise as he can when you come waddling out, your head twisting around the corner with wide eyes as he turns to attempt a smile.

Your face falls slack and you turn quickly.

“Wait! Wait. Just take a second.” He rushes, holding out both his hands as you dash to grab something to hold over your head. “Please don’t throw that.”

“I’ll scream! If you’re here to kill me I’ll scream!” You rush out, stepping back, tripping over the blanket that he had thrown over you last night and nearly falling back.

“I could have killed you last night and I didn-” He stops short as he realizes that is a terrible point to make. “Okay. Hold on, wait. Just- I can make you eggs and or coffee. Or both, you don’t have to choose. You can have both. Anything you want.”

“Why am I here?!”

“You.. you were drunk and didn’t have a key okay?”

“It’s under my door mat- WHY AM I TELLING YOU THAT?!” You blanch, stepping back again. “What is this thing? It’s weird.”

“It’s an old radio….. I stole it.”

“You stole it?”

“I stole it.”

“From where?”

“The….. my exhibit at the…. It was mine so technically I didn’t steal it and just took it back. It’s fair.” He can’t fight the heat filling his body as you take a look around, mouth falling open as you finally take everything in. “My sister gave it to me for my birthday the year before…”

“My sister got me a radio once.” You mumble. “Well it was this princess cd player thing that played the soundtracks of princess movies. I wore down the mulan cd so much that my dad pretended to sit on it and break it because he couldn’t handle hearing the skip in the songs anymore.”

“Was your sister here the other day?”

“What? No.” You huff and he feels his chest loosen up a little bit when you seem to relax. “My sister is gone. My whole family is…..”

And just like that he watches your eyes harden again, your spine tensing as you glare. “So I got drunk and you brought me here.”

“Yes.”

“And you slept in the same room?”

“That’s where I always sleep. It’s… the best spot to hide from snipers and it’s in the corner so no one can sneak up on me.” He answers. “I wanted to make sure you didn’t choke on your puke too. Do you want eggs?”

Then what did you do?

Did you leave her house in the middle of the night?

Did you wish you put up more of a fight

When she said it was too much?

Do you wish you could still touch ...her?

It's just a question

If someone had told the seven year old you that you would be sitting across from the Winter Soldier on his dining room floor eating scrambled eggs and chugging straight coffee as you both played a round of 20 questions.

“I’m sorry, who drinks straight coffee? No sugar or milk or- this is bad.”

“You want to waste your question on that? You sure?” He asks, leaning to pour you more coffee.

“No! No. I…. why did you steal the radio back?”

“Because it was the last thing my sister gave me. And I just found out she died in a nursing home…. alone .” He shrugs, scratching at his forehead. “And…. it’s mine. They are displaying my stuff in a museum.”

“Must feel a little weird.” You nod. “They are actually displaying a gun you used in the smithsonian, the JFK shooting.”

“That’s not me. Well it is but….”

“Can I ask…. about…… “ You want to ask, so desperately, but you don’t want to piss him off. Not to mention that you hated when people asked you about your past.

“I don’t really want to…. “ He mumbles. “But I think that you must have questions and I do owe you answers.”

“Do you remember everything?”

“No. Not at all. Which might sound cowardly when I say I’m thankful for that. They kept me in their trance.” He answers, moving to give you more eggs before you shake your head. “I…uhm - well when I moved in and you recognized me I searched you up. The person who… for lack of better term the person who used me for the task, well I got them arrested when I got out. He was the 4th person on my list.”

“Have….” You go to ask another question about his years as the soldier before you see the look in his eyes, the nervous energy leeching off of him. So you switch, giving him a break. “You ever been to rome?”

“No. Have you?” He asks back, a look of relief on his face.

“No. But I always wanted to. There is this exhibit at the museum wh- shit. I gotta go.” You realize, moving to snatch your purse. “Oh my god I have work. I’m sorry for leaving a mess. Thank you for….”

You stop short, realizing you are thanking the man that killed your family, blinking slowly as a wave of guilt washes over you. What would they say? They would be so disappointed in you.

“I have to go.” He doesn’t say anything as you dash out.

Does it feel like everything's just like second-best after that

Meteor strike?

And what's that, that I heard, that you're still with her

That's nice, I'm sure that's what's suitable

And right

But tonight..

The building you work in looked more like a morgue in Bucky’s humble opinion, but he tried to get that image out of his head as he walked through the front door.

He didn’t know why he was here, but for some reason he was drawn to you, and he just wanted to be near you. The game of questions you had played this morning had been…. Fun. He learned a lot about you. He now knows your favorite color, dream vacation destination spot, your weird dreams about the titanic.

“Good morning, do you have your badge?” The front desk asks, smiling at him.

“Oh… uh no. Sorry. I don’t work here.” He blushes, coming up to the desk. “My friend does.”

That was a blatant lie, he was sure you would not consider him a friend but he was gonna give it a shot. But a moment of fear passes through him that she might recognize the lie.

“No problem. Can I see you I.D. and the name of the person you’re here to see?” She hums out and he nods, pulling out his I.D. and muttering your name.

“Oh! You are here for her! She is the best. The only one that wishes me good morning and actually shows me her badge.” The girl gushes, moving to the phone and dialing an extension. “Hey this is Maya from the front desk. You have a visitor here… yes…. James Barnes?”

Her eyes widen for a second and she turns back to Bucky. “She doesn’t recognize the name-”

“Try Bucky Barnes.”

“Okay, Bucky Barnes.” She smiles through the phone and then nods before hanging up. “She will be down in one moment.”

“Great. Thanks.” He attempts an easy smile even though his stomach is in waves, trying to even out his jacket as he waits for you to come down. His chest clenched in a panic as he tries to calm himself down, taking a deep breath and keeping his metal hand in his pocket so the receptionist doesn’t see it from where she is still staring at him from her desk.

“How long have you worked here?” He asks after a moment, trying to release some of the awkward tension in the room.

“Three years. I was a temp for the first couple months but now I am full time.” She explains, fixing her hair nervously. “So are you two dating? Because, not to be weird or anything, you two would be so cute.”

“Oh, no we just live in the same-”

“And she is just so nice. And you seem nice too so-” Before she can keep going in you appear from the elevators with wide eyes, your badge swinging from side to side as you march towards him.

“Hi Maya.” You mumble out at the last second, shooting her a quick smile which makes the girl beam. Before she can say her reply you are turning back to him with those same wide eyes and snatching his elbow to lead him outside.

“Are you crazy? Do you know how many pr people are in this building and will send a bunch of paps after you.” You snap, blinking up at him as he tries to come up with a decent reason as to why he is here.

“I… okay well I figured you would need to leave for lunch so I came to get lunch with you.”

“If you forget about the fact that it involved a little bit of stalking then that would be nice.” You huff, shaking your head from side to side before shrugging. “I get to pick.”

“You know the area best.”

“I get to ask questions.”

“Sure. “ He answers, though he begins to get nervous, his mouth going dry. If you kept looking at him with those eyes he would answer anything, no matter what.

“Awesome, starting with the big questions.” You smile, leading him down the sidewalk as he clears his throat to try and remain cool. “How long does it take you to clean the arm?”

Relief washes through him as he follows your lead down the street, smiling a bit.

Can I ask you a question?

Did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room

And every single one of your friends was

Making fun of you

But fifteen seconds later they were clapping too?

You had no clue what you were doing, guilt and shame coated your every move as you walked with Bucky through the market, watching a mix of people turn to glare or smile at him.

It was weird, weeks ago you would have been one to glare, hell you had glared at him through your tv hundreds of times. And here you were, walking beside him like you were the closest friends in the world as he searched for plums.

Your days were spent questioning each other, all light stuff when the sun was out. If you were born in any other century what would it be? Do you think you’re more of a sunshine or moonlight person?

Then when the sun goes down the questions turn deep. You learned about his memories as the Winter Soldier, you came clean about that night in your memories.

You were betraying your family, by falling for this man you were betraying your family. It was the one thing that had been bothering you for the past 3 weeks.

Like right now, when the biggest urge you were fighting was to grab his hand and hold onto it as you both moved to avoid bumping into people, your palm sweating as he sent a quick look your way to make sure you’re okay before moving to a stall that had plums.

“Are you okay today?” He asks, feeling around for the perfect plum as you pick up the jars of honey not too far off.

“Yeah. I’m fine.” You lie, setting the jar down and moving towards him to avoid talking to the worker, your hand catching on his lower back before you snatch it back. “How many plums do you need?”

“I. Like. Plums.” He scoffs. “Would you rather be a bee or a flower?”

“Flower, 100 percent.”

“That was….. A really quick answer.” He smiles, paying the stall worker before, leading you both away. “I would want to be a bee.”

“You would be a bitch of a bee. You would not last a day as a bee.”

“I’m sorry?!”

“Not a day.” You laugh, throwing the bag you had been carrying around over your shoulder as he looks a little closer at you.

“You want to tell me what’s been bothering you?”

“You ever feel guilty… for like you family?” You blurt, eyes welling up. “Like you’re disappointing them?”

“Because you’re friends with me?” He asks, his voice tight.

“Are we friends?” You blurt, it’s not meant to come out that way, but it’s the first time you’ve heard him reference you both as friends. But the second his face falls you realize your mistake. “Wait, I didn’t mean it like- wait.”

“It’s fine. I’ve got it.” He snaps out, keeping his eyes away from you. “I’ll see you later.”

“Wait. No. Okay just give me a chance to explain here.” You rush out, trying to stop him from walking away. “This has been a big adjustment, weeks ago I hated you. Okay? You killed my family so I’m sorry that this was-”

Someone bumps up into him from behind, and you have to take a step back to avoid hitting him, his eyes narrow at the movement as you blink at him. His lips curl as his head tilts, and he blinks.

“I… I remember you.” He whispers, hands clenching. “You were wearing alien pajamas.”

“You remember?”

“I…” And it was a remake of that night, you both staring at each other with his eyes narrowed and you getting ready to bolt. He looked green.

And then he bolts, dashing from you so quickly you barely have time to blink.

Then what did you do?

Did you leave her house in the middle of the night?

Did you wish you put up more of a fight?

When she said it was too much?

Do you wish you could still touch ...her?

It's just a question

He couldn’t breathe, something was bursting in his chest and it was painful, so fucking painful.

He knew you, that hatred and fear in your eyes brought everything back. The night, when you were just a child and he had….. He had… He was going to pass out.

His door slammed into the wall so hard it left a dent in the plaster before he slammed it shut again and dashed to his room to snatch his duffel. He needed to go, he needed to leave. Find somewhere else to be, anywhere away from you.

He was a monster.

He hears the door swing open, your footsteps following and you come into view soon after, your eyes wide as he continues packing.

“Bucky. I’m sorry.” He breathes out, snatching a shirt before you come into view and snatching the shirt before it can hit the duffle bag. “Please, just give me a chance. Buck, I am sorry.”

“No. I’m sorry.” He grounds out, moving to grab something else. “I’m sorry.”

“Buck.” You try again, moving to grab his shoulders to stop him.

“Don’t. Please don’t.”

“Bucky, come on.” You snap, wrapping your arms around him to get him to stop. “Please don’t. Can we just talk about this. We can figure this out.”

“I…. I can’t.”

“20 questions. Let’s play 20 questions.” You rush out.

“No, let’s not. No more questions. We’re done here.”

“No we’re not.” You snap out, wrapping your legs around his like a koala so he would stop trying to run away. “Would you rather be a tie or a bra?”

“I’m sorry?” “A bear or a tiger?”

“That is terrible. A bra, and a bear.” He huffs, trying not to look at you.

“20 questions. You can’t leave now that we’ve started the game.” You mumble, staring up at him with wide eyes.

“That’s the dumbest thing I have ever hear-” He stops when you lean up to press your lips to his softly, your eyes closing as his entire body tenses for a moment before completely melting into it, his hands moving to thread through your hair.

You moan when he deepens the kiss and his heart just about stops before he tears away. “I never thought….”

“Neither did I.”

You play 20 questions every night, sitting together on your shared living room floor, with whatever show he wanted to catch up on playing in the background.

He plays with your hair from where your head lays on his chest, humming softly.

“Would you rather be a plum or a grape?” You whisper, fingers tracing a pattern on his pajama pants.

“Plum.” He answers quickly, tugging your ear which makes you gasp.

“I was so close to falling asleep.” You groan, slapping his hand away. “You are such a pain in my ass.”

“But you love me.”

“That I do.” You hum, moving to sit up. “Your question.”

“Would you….. Will you….” He clears his throat, sitting up straight as you give him a weird look. “Will you marry me?”

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #marvel #marvel smut #marvel imagine #marvel angst #marvel fluff #marvel fanfiction #winter soldier imagines #winter soldier imagine #winter soldier smut #winter soldier fluff #winter soldier x reader

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imagineanime2022 · 1 year

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They Find Comfort In Your Demon Form

Lucifer X Reader, Mammon X Reader, Leviathan X Reader, Satan X Reader, Asmodeus X Reader, Beelzebub X Reader, Belphegor X Reader

Requested: Anon

Request: Heya! I'm coming from where you posted the finding comfort in the demon brothers nonhuman forms. Do you think you could do that but in reverse, as in the MC is a demon and they pull at their own horns/tail/wings? The bros are still demons but the mc is a new demon like in nightbringer. That or can I request a part two with the dateables. Mainly Dia I luv him so much

Warning: Stress, Anxiety, disliking body image (Asmo), feeling of not belonging.

Lucifer

📚 You had seen him looking at your wings, they were large and laid out behind you, they were pitch black and technically matched his. 📚 They almost seemed like they had a metallic shine to them, he was fascinated by them but he never dared touch them. 📚 Diavolo had ordered you to help Lucifer and his brothers settle in so you became closer with him as you helped keep his brothers out of trouble. 📚 Lucifer was never going to ask you if he can touch your wings, so if the offer is there, then you are going to need to actually offer it to him. Once he touched them the first time, you’d find that he subtly brush his hand against them if he was overwhelmed by or straight pissed about something to stop himself from lashing out at someone.

You had just finished talking Lucifer through some of the documents that Diavolohad sent over, you reached back stretching your arms over you head, you wings stretched to full length behind you as well, the rainbow shine running down them as they moved in the light “any particular reason that you keep staring?” You asked. “Your wings… They’re big for a demon?” He asked. “Yes. They made me a target” You nodded. “When I was younger, I used to trip over them all the time, the weight of them would cause me to topple over and I wished that I could get rid of them.” “What changed your mind?” He asked. “When I was big enough to use them.” You smiled “I remember flying above Devildom for the first time, watching the city light below me, I can fly far and fast.” “I assume that was how you got your job as the royal errand runner?” He asked. “And landed this job, I’m probably the only demon down here that can get a message back to the castle before any one of you causes real trouble. “So are you going to touch them or just keep staring?” “T-touch them?” He asked. “Yes.” You answered with a slow nod and a large playful smile. You reached out, taking his gloved hand and gently slipping off the glove and guiding it back to the wings that rested behind you. “They’re soft.” He mumbled softly, he left out comforting thought it was in the list of descriptive he’d use. “I’m sure yours are too.” You said softly as you pointed at his wings, they flexed as if agreeing with you and you giggled softly. “Maybe one day I’ll get to test my theory.”

Mammon

💳 Mammon never meant for it to become a habit but you were there all the time and because you were slightly shorter than him, when something startled him he grabbed the closest thing and that happened to be his horns. 💳 You didn’t even really notice that it happened until he started to mess with them when he talked about some punishment from Lucifer. 💳 It took some time to realise that it was a comfort thing but when it started happening in his sleep. 💳 You had never thought of your demon form as comforting but if it helped him then who were you to complain.

You watched as Mammon threw his bag somewhere in his room while you put yours neatly to the side “are you okay?” You asked. “Mhm ya fine.” He answered falling face first on the bed, you looked at him and rolled your eyes. “You want to try and actually be convincing?” You asked as you crawled up the bed until you were lying facing him. “Mm.” He hummed a noise before turning his face so that he could see you. “What’s going on?” You asked. “Nothin’” He answered. “Got something to do with Lucifer?” You asked. “Mm.” He hummed. “Right, well you obviously don’t want to talk about so how about this instead?” You reached down and grabbed his hand moving it up to your head, where he started to trace the rivets and patterns on your horns. “He yelled at me again, apparently I’m supposed to stop all ma brothers from doin’ whatever they want.” He grumbled as his fingers moved down to the bottom of your horns when he played with your hair for a second before going back to your horns pressing your fingers against the points. “You and your brothers are pretty uncontrollable.” You nodded and he looked at you, you smiled as you reached over and took his glasses off his face, folded them and put them on the side table behind you. “Whatcha mean ‘m uncontrollable.” He glared at you. “You tried to dognap Cerberus.” You reminded him and he grumbled before starting to laugh, his hand resting heavy on your head. “Feel better?” “Yeah I guess so,” He answered.

Leviathan

🎮 Levi had spent most of his time in his room but in order to earn his trust you brought him never figurines and Ruri comics. You wanted to show him that you meant no harm and that you didn’t judge him. 🎮 One night he invited you to watch a movie with him, you brought some popcorn and settled on the new sofa in his room. He didn’t realise that he was doing it but his tail stretched out behind him and slowly started to wrap around yours. 🎮 You tested the occurrence when you were next with him and found that it happened again at a meeting with his brothers particularly when all attention was on him. 🎮 Mammon is likely the one that points it out, Levi gets flustered and runs away and you have to chase after him to explain that it wasn’t a problem.

You knew where he had gone but you went to grab the gift that you had brought him before heading to his room, you knocked on the door “Go away!” Levi yelled through to door and you sighed. “Levi, can we talk?” You asked. “Why would you want to talk to me?” He asked. “Why wouldn’t I want to talk to you?” You asked, you weren’t expecting the door to open so you jumped slightly when he appeared in front of you. “Are you here to make fun of me?” He asked. “Make fun of you?” You frowned “do they do that a lot?” “Some of them.” He mumbled. “Well I’m here with a peace offering.” You pushed the limited edition figurine that he had been talking about for weeks into his hand. “How did you get this!?” He asked. “I have my ways.” You winked as your tail reached out to tap his. “What happened earlier…” His cheeks turned red at the mention of what happened “don’t worry about it, I’m not bothered by it.” “I’m sorry it's just…” He looked around before pulling you into the room and closing the door he pressed his hands either side of your body resting his forehead on your shoulder as he powered through the sentence. “It helps when I feel less anxious.” “It does?” You asked. “Y-yeah.” He answered nodding so you lifted your hand to run through his hair. “Then do it as much as you want.” You said softly. “I want you to feel comfortable and if that helps then I’m happy to help.” It was then that you felt him tense, he must have realised the position that you were in but you were quick to distract him. “How about we watch that show that you were telling me about?” He stood straightening himself immediately, it was easy to forget how tall he was considering he was always slouching, he pulled you towards the couch getting everything that you needed for the viewing party and finally when he sat down his tail wrapped around yours the way that it always had.

Satan

🐈 Satan was angry all the time and he felt like he could destroy anything but you never seemed to be afraid of him. 🐈 His tail was his most dangerous weapon, he lashed out with it constantly, he destroyed furniture and hurt other demons but he couldn’t hurt you. 🐈 He didn’t understand what happened the first time but after a few attacks he realised that your skin hardened where there were demon marks. 🐈 The fascination started when he touched your skin for the first time when you weren’t protecting yourself, it felt like velvet, it was so soft a stark contrast from what you had shown him before.

You and Satan had become rather close, you were the only one that seemed to be able to say more than 2 words to him without making him unbelievably angry. Today however Lucifer seemed intent on his lecture at the dinner table. Your hand rested on the arm of your chair, you could see Satan’s hands balling up so you reached over gently linking your hands, his longer fingers resting against the mark on the back of your hand. “Relax, ignore him.” You said and his grip tightened around your hand, you hardened the skin where he was pushing the most pressure and he seemed to stop for a second. “I didn’t know that you could do that?” He asked. “Huh?” You asked, looking at him. “With your skin.” He mumbled. “Oh well you seemed to like it when it was soft so I didn’t want to harden all of it but, you are super strong.” You informed him “your nails are sharp too.” “Oh sorry.” He attempted to let go but you tighten your grip. “No it’s okay, it doesn’t hurt like this.” You promised.

Later that evening you were in the library with Satan and he sat with a book in hand, you were sitting next to him reading through some texts from Diavolo, you jumped when you felt him touch the skin of your hand again he made it seem like he didn’t even know what he was doing “you know you can just touch it, you don’t have to act like it was an accident.” You said. “What are you talking about?” He asked. “How about this… when you feel angry you come find me instead, I can withstand whatever and you get to touch the safety blanket.” You shrugged. “The safety blanket?” He asked and you looked at him and held up your hands. “But for now we can pretend that nothing is happening.” You suggested lifting your legs and laying them over his lap. “Do you have those patches on your legs too?” He asked. “What do you want to know?” You asked, he narrowed his eyes before pinching at the kin that covered your shin. You giggled “only time will tell.”

Asmodeus

💅 Asmo had always been proud of his body and while his body hadn’t changed on a base level there were differences. 💅 You noticed the way that he looked at himself, he seemed lost like he didn’t know how to navigate something that was his, afraid to touch it for fear of ruining something, you hated it. 💅 Asmo would often sit and trace the demon marks on your body, and tell you how much he loved them, how different they were from anything else that he had seen before 💅 So you vowed to help him see his body the way that he saw yours, as a work of art.

You sat in front of Asmo on his bed, you twisted your head as you looked at him “what?” He asked. “Do you not like your new demon form?” You asked. “I don’t dislike it.” He answered he took your hand tracing the mark that started on your wrist and snaked up your arm. “But?” He asked. “I never thought that I would have a demon form, I don’t know how to be a demon, how to act, what to wear.” He explained, you had both somehow moved closer in the time that you were talking and he was now tracing the marks on your shoulder. “Is that the only thing that bothers you?” You asked. “Mmm.” He answered with a hum. “So what you're saying is we need to go on a shopping trip and see what demon clothes make you feel good?” You asked as his hand moved down to yours and linked your fingers, he seemed hesitant to agree and you looked at him and smiled “trust me let me show you.”

The next day you both headed out to look for some new clothes for Asmo, your attention drawn to a white jacket you smiled as you pulled him over, he was still tracing the shapes on your skin even if he couldn’t see them. “What do you think about this?” You asked as you held it out to him, his eyes seemed to move over the jacket before looking around the store, it seemed like he was building an outfit in his head, you smiled as he walked over to a rack where there was a pink shirt and then another where there was a pair of burgundy skinny jeans. “Try it on.” “You think?” He asked. “Trust yourself.” You winked, he walked into the changing room and when he finally came back out you walked towards him “I think you look pretty good.” He looked at himself in the mirror and smiled. “I don’t know how to thank you.” He said softly. “Just trust and look after yourself, you're the avatar of lust, you are built to know what is best, never doubt your instincts.” You winked, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

Beelzebub

🍔 Beel didn’t want to worry anyone, he knew the adjustment was going to be difficult but he didn’t realise how much, the hunger that he felt was so intense and it seemed like nothing he did relieved him of it. 🍔 You never seemed afraid of him when he talked about how hungry he was, you’d sit in front of him between his legs, usually facing out into the room. It was subconscious at first he played with your hair around your horns but when the hunger got really bad he’d squeeze, you never complained in fact it was like it never happened. 🍔 One day he asked you about it and you told him that you didn’t actually feel pain in your horns so the only thing he had to be careful of was breaking them but he had never been close to doing that. 🍔 It became the tell for you when he needed food, if you were around his hands would find your horns and rest there, tracing them until the hunger died down.

Lucifer had called some kind of house meeting so all the brothers were gathered in the living room, Beel had sat on the sofa with you in front of him where you always were, it was subtle at first his fingers started running through your hair as you both listened to whatever Lucifer was saying, Belphie glanced over at you both as Beel’s hands moved towards your horns, he saw that you reached into your pocket Belphie tensed but then you produced a large packet of gummies and passed them up to Beel, who made a happy sound of compliance as he opened the packet and started eating, his free hand running over your horns pressing against the point before running back down, he gently pressed on your horns causing your head to fall back on his thigh, he put one of the gummies on your tongue and smiled whispering a small thank you.

After the meeting Belphie was the one to stop you, you smiled as he fell in step with you and Beel heading towards the kitchen ��what was that in the room?” Belphie asked. “What?” Beel asked, Belphie raised an eyebrow and you smiled. “Beel plays with my horns when he is hungry.” You said, “I don’t know what started it.” “Beel?” Belphie asked as he looked at his older brother. “Well, everyone always looked scared of me when I said I was hungry, you know… It kinda scared me too. One day when I was hungry (Y/N) was here and she didn’t run away, I don’t know, I didn’t mean to touch them but you never flinched and then you said that it didn’t hurt, they were sturdy and helped me to forget about being hungry for a while.” He explained, you smiled at him as you linked your hands. “Don’t try to forget about it, promise me you’ll just tell me, even if you just play with my horns, then we can get you something to eat okay?” You asked. “I’ll always have something for you, I promise.” “Really?” He asked. “Really.” You confirmed as you handed him a chocolate bar that you had in your pocket. “Woah… I can have that?” He asked. “Course.” You nodded as he took it, opening it and mumbling a thank you just before he stuffed the treat into his mouth. Belphie didn’t say anything but he hoped that you never left his brother because he’d need you for the rest of his demonic life.

Belphegor

💤 Belphegor literally had no idea what he was doing because it always happened when he passed out like a narcoleptic. 💤 No matter if he fell asleep before you appeared or right next to you, he found your wings and used them as a pillow. 💤 His new ability to walk dreams caused him restless sleep especially when he was around people he didn’t know but for some reason when his hands twisted into wings he managed to properly rest. 💤 You never mentioned it, so you had no idea if he knew that he was doing it but you didn’t want to risk it stopping if it helped him sleep.

You walked into the library after looking for somewhere quiet to finish off the work that you had to do for school, you assumed that they were all avoiding the room because Belphie was sleeping in there, you sat on the sofa careful not to wake him and you got comfortable with everything that you needed. You were about an hour in before he started tossing and turning, you looked down at him before casting your eyes around the library and noted that there were a couple of people that had fallen asleep over open essays and research papers, you were sure that they were probably having stress dreams of some kind, you looked back over at Belphie and stretched your wing out to cover him both shielding him from the light and the sleeping demons, his he and reaching up instinctively taking hold of the feathers and settling again. “You're the only person that can do that.” You jumped as you looked over at Beel who must have come looking for his brother. “I’m not doing anything.” You shrugged and he looked at you both. “He feels safe with you, he’s probably never going to admit that but I’ve seen him looking for you when he’s awake, you know he just needs to know that you're there.” “Surely, you make him feel the same way.” You said as he shrugged. “Kind of, it’s different with you though.” Beel informed you. “You think?” You asked as you looked over at Belphie who had somehow gotten closer to you on the beanbags. “Mm.” Beel hummed. “Well I promise that for as long as I can be here with you and your brothers I will be whatever he needs me to be.” You said as you reached into your bag throwing him a small pack of biscuits “get to practise I’ll keep an eye on him and we’ll meet you once practice is done.” “Alright see you then.” He got up and headed off. “Finally.” Belphie muttered and you glanced down at his slightly opened eyes. “Go back to sleep, we've got a couple of hours before we have to leave.” You said and sighed snuggling into your thigh and carefully guiding you wing to cover him.

Request Here!!

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keysorsomething · 7 months

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Easing Into it

Chapter two of The Shape :) Thanks so much for all of the support

1 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

Cross-posted on Ao3

Nikto had…. changed after your interaction in the armory.

Usually distant, both physically and emotionally, Nikto had started doing… odd things. Like, when you stand next to each other, he slowly shuffles into you until your shoulders meet. Sometimes he’d lower his head down close to your neck until you could feel his hot breath through his mask on your skin as he stood ever-threateningly behind you. You weren’t sure what that one was about, but you’d feel him burning holes in the back of your skull as he studied the back of your head.

You two hadn’t talked about what happened that night, but it was clear to see. He wanted more. You had given him a taste of water after days of walking through the desert. Something sweet after years of having nothing but bland, lifeless mush. He was trying to hold himself together, but each stroke of your fingers against his chest - well, not even really his chest, his chest plate, had driven him insane. He still felt it. At night, in his bed, instead of the memories of the pain he experienced in that room, the feelings ghosting over him were your fingers. Gentle, cautious.

You were yet to tell him you were trying to scare him off. You’re sure you won’t ever. You almost feel bad. Looking at him these past few days, he looked much… better. His eyes were usually red and shiny as if he spent the whole night crying and he was about to start up again at the smallest inconvenience. It was absurd to think of, the strong semi-standoffish stoic man crying so much. At all. He always looked a bit like someone with the firm belief that boys don’t cry.

But that had to be the answer - he was crying. Or maybe not sleeping. Or maybe he sleeps with his eyes open. Anyway, what he was doing before had stopped. Or at least been doing it less (more?). His eyes looked like he was blinking on occasion, which was actually mildly upsetting because there goes your Christmas present for him.

You shake your head to get rid of the train of thought when you feel him press his side further into yours. He’d even started eating in his room and then rushing out just to sit with you while you ate. It was kinda cute. He seemed a little like a puppy. A big, scary puppy that your neighbor insists on putting down because he scares her kids.

You take a sip of your drink, eyes flicking to him and then back to your food. He didn’t talk like this, like how he used to not talk to you when he’d stand there, watching your every move. You guess this was the next phase of his study of you. He was a very curious being, you guessed.

“Nikto,” You address him, placing your drink down.

“Да?” He asks as he says your name. His blue eyes turn down to you. His eyes are downturned, and almost… beautiful when they aren’t all red and puffy. The white is shiny, like fancy pearls on a necklace. And the blue of his irises is only ever more blue. A striking icy lake that you’re daring to step on, hearing as each step causes it to crack.

He was suffocating you. The pressure of his fingers against your jugular notch had never quite left since it first met the squishy flesh. Your lungs stopped fully expanding.

“We have to talk,” He stiffens up at the words, his back straightening so much that his shoulder stops touching yours. “Nothing bad, I just,” You lower your voice. It was loud in the Mess Hall, but you didn’t want anyone to overhear. Did this count at fraternization? Not that you think it really mattered, this being a PMC and all. And you weren’t sure if anyone who was there would actually scold you for it. You decided not to risk it. And even if nobody was gonna clock you and write you up, you’re sure Nikto would not like anyone to overhear. “I wanna know what’s up-” you pause “-man,” you tack it on, but quickly feel like you shouldn’t have. Who the fuck calls a guy like this man?

“What do you mean by that?” He says your name as his eyes narrow down at you. He scoots away from you ever so slightly.

“You… you,” You aren’t sure how to phrase it, so you instead stand, wrap your hand around his bicep, and pull him out of the room. This was not going to look like what it was, but you didn’t care. Well, you did, as you walked past the former Shadow Company table, feeling Roze’s confused eyes on your back and hearing Graves chuckle. But that didn’t matter.

So what if Graves thought you were freaking it in the storage closet you so ungracefully push Nikto into. Nobody listened to him anyway. It was hard to when he was the dude that had the American flag bedsheets.

Nikto was very stiff. He had no clue what to do, and he did not like being forced into the small, dark room. You turn the lights on, step into the closet, and shut the door behind you. You sigh heavily, trying to formulate your words.

“Nikto,” You start, trying to figure it out. “So, you’ve been,” The wording is lost on you more as each one comes out. “You don’t have to sneak contact from me, you know?” You figure it out. “I’m willing to help.”

Nikto still looks scared, eyes flickering around. You bet his first thought was some Russian form of “buy me dinner first”. This looked much, much worse than you meant it to.

“Not like that,” You correct, and he just eyes you more confusedly. “I mean, not yet..? Look,” You sigh, covering your face in your hands. “I mean,” Your hands extend, pulling his face into them. He doesn’t yank back right away, but he sure looks like he’s going to. “Relax,” You whisper to him, gently dragging your thumb across where the fabric of his mask meets the blast plate. The metal is cold on your skin, and the fabric is rough. Very rough. He shivers hearing your whisper.

Huh, you didn’t take him for a guy who would have an autonomous sensory meridian response. His eyes quickly relax, fluttering shut. You just keep stroking with your hand, thumb pad petting the high part of his cheek as your other fingers meet his neck and under his jaw. Your other hand reached up and stroked two fingers over his forehead. Like how you had touched his chest that night. You weren’t sure if he felt anything you did up there, but it felt right.

His head turns to the side, letting you pet him as you please. This is so fucking weird, you think to yourself, but he doesn’t push away. You whisper to him, random reassuring nonsense. Mostly just to watch and feel as he shivers hearing it. He leans forward slowly, inching closer and closer until his head rests on your shoulder. Your hands have to move at that point, down to his shoulders and upper back.

“Okay, Big Guy, stay awake,” You tell him, no longer whispering.

“Feels good,” He grunts out. He takes a moment to figure out the word for it in English, before giving up. “дрожать,” he mumbles, resting his head in the crook of your neck.

“I know, but you gotta stay awake,” You tell him, and he moves back, his spine popping as he does. He rubs his masked face, sighing lowly. You brace your hands on his shoulders, he looks wobbly. He eases back, standing to his full height.

“We… would like to do this again,” He announces, voice a low whisper.

“Well, I can do that for you, Nikto,” You tell him, watching as his eyes dip down to the floor. “I, uhm, I’ll come by your room tonight?” You offer and quickly feel his gaze wash over you.

“Да, tonight,” He nods. You sit in silence for a moment for a while, before he pushes past you. He opens the door, disappearing around the corner as he once more melts off into the walls. You take a few steps to follow him, stopping in the doorway.

You hear a soft sound from behind the door and turn to look behind it. Your eyes quickly settle on a group of your other coworkers, hiding behind the door. They were eavesdropping on you.

Horangi waves at you, trying to hold in a giggle. Roze’s hands are on his shoulders, she was probably leaning over him to hear better. Klaus stands behind the two of them.

“See you tonight,” Klaus mocks. Fucking Santa. You huff, rubbing your forehead as you beg them to not say anything to anyone, especially not König or Nikto. Any form of confrontation was going to get your ass killed.

You ask them to at least let them have tonight. They all agree, willing to let you have one last night of fun before you die. Though you feel it’s going to be more petting and a lot of whispering, and no real fun.

#nikto cod #call of duty #cod mw2 #nikto x reader #mwii nikto #call of duty modern warfare #kortac

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shuamorollss · 2 years

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CUTE THINGS THEY DO WHEN YOU DO THEIR MAKEUP — ot7/gn!reader

note: honestly thought abt posting this only as a hyung line imagines BUTT i changed my mind and wrote for the maknae lines bc i love them all 🤭💕💕 I'm sorry of the maknaes are kinda short and half-assed. I just wanted to get rid of my writers block T_T

tags & warnings: established relationship, fluff!! >< smiled while writing heejakewonki tbh HAHAHAHA . . . not proofread

perm. taglist! @jangwonie @jungwonize @butterflyy-ningg @w3bqrl

♡ ! — Heeseung only accepted your offer to put makeup on his just so he could feel you so close. Though he couldn't stand it just staying still and watch how you gently stylized his face, and with your adoring face so close to his... How could he not react to that? He'd swiftly yet gently just place both of his hands on your cheeks out of nowhere whilst you’re still putting his makeup, afterwards began to drown you with compliments that you didn't seem able to resist until you became a red-faced mess so close right in front of him. " God. how are you so so pretty? I could kiss you right now. "

♡ ! — Jongseong would just look into your eyes, admiring your focused face a few inch closer to him. he didn’t want to just stay still and wait until you finish doing his makeup. He can’t stop himself from suddenly kissing your nose out of nowhere. A few times he did this you were surprised but you got used to it eventually. He never seems to grow tired of placing sweet peck on your nose whenever you finish a part of doing his face.

♡ ! — Jake is such a cutie. he always gets ecstatic whenever you tell him you wanted to put makeup on him (please he gets so excited to the point he's the one to prepare your makeup kit for you!). and by the time you are applying makeup on him, whenever he gets the opportunity he would boop your nose with his finger. he would do it when you're least expecting it, so you get startled whenever he does so. It was slightly anmoying but you couldn't help but giggle and smile whenever he does so. He's just so cute. too cute.

♡ ! — Sunghoon would be a real tease. Even you couldn't last long going too close to hoon. He's a funny fucking dude cause he'd initiate an unnecessary staring contest with you; just having eye contact with him could make your face red as hell. " How cute. " that's what he says whenever you make a pause and try to breathe as fast as you can, following with him cupping the both of your cheeks, gently pulling you right in front of his stunning face once again. " I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please continue. "

♡ ! — Sunoo tells you stories, fun facts, kdrama criticisms, or just tell whatever the whole time you do his face. Kind of distracting though you don't mind since he's really balanced so it's easy for you to follow and do his look. You actually enjoy him sharing his insight to you during a supposedly really quiet process. After that he offers to do yours as well, " I look so cute! Come on love, i'll do yours. Let's match looks! "

♡ ! — Jungwon actually LISTENS to you!! Quiet and obedient the whole time. Though would lose his shit by the time you get to do his eyeliner. Also by losing his shit— what I mean is that he'd suddenly kiss you whilst doing his eyeliner! He just couldn't take it " How can I not kiss you? you were so close. too close. "

♡ ! — Ni-ki is honestly so stubborn. Would take a while to finish his makeup. He teases too much but it's tolerable. As much as you want to be frustrated, you couldn't. You like him like this and for some reason, you could focus better. After that he would just let your forehead lay on his for a short while, while your noses are in direct contact. " I know it hasn't been anytime long but i miss your face this close to mine, so let's stay like this for another few minutes. "

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melanieph321 · 11 months

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Ruben Dias x Reader - I Cry

This one is sad 😔

And this will be the last fic of my own before I write requests again.

Reader tries to hide her post pregnancy depression from Ruben.

Enjoy!

Everybody was so happy, smiling faces all around. They were passing around the baby, kissing it's head like it was baby Jesus himself. All you could feel was darkness. A darkness so deep that you wanted to put a knife to your wrist and go down with it.

This was the first time Ruben's side of the family saw the baby. His aunties and uncles almost got into a fight over what it's name should be, since you and Ruben had yet decided. What's the point, you thought. What's the point of giving the baby it's name now when it wouldn't respond to it until three years time?

"What's the matter?"

"What do you mean?"

At some point of the night you caught Ruben's eye. Perhaps it had been the way your gaze stared blankly into space whilst everyone around you sparkled with joy. Ruben had nudged his head towards the door, wanting for the two of you to go outside and grab some air.

"You're doing that thing again." He said.

"What thing?" You frowned, however, you knew exactly what thing Ruben was referring to you doing.

"It's like your not hear, with us." He said.

You could hear the pain in his voice. The pain that the darkness within you was causing him.

"I wish you would talk to me." He mumbled. "Tell me how to fix it, fix you."

"You can't." You said, tears sliding down your cheeks.

Ruben turned to look at you but you moved away, hiding your face.

"I want to try." He said, desperation in his voice.

You shook your head. "You'll hate me if I told you the truth."

"Why would I hate you?" Once again he attempted to touch you. This time you let him and he hugged you from behind, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist. "Please Y/N, tell me somthing I can do to make you happy again?"

"Get rid of it."

"What?"

Your voice was so weak he was almost unable to catch what you said.

"Get rid of what Y/N? What do you want me to get rid of? Anything, I'll do it."

He was desperate to have the old you back. The one that smiled with the sunrise and laughed at noon. The version of you he fell in love with.

"The baby." You said, voice quiet.

Ruben's grip around your waist loosened.

"Y/N." He said, voice stuffed and unrecognizable. "You don't mean that."

You raised your head to look at him. "I do, Ruben."

He stumbled backwards, almost tripping himself on the threshold of the poarch. "B..but, why?"

He couldn't understand it. But who had ever understood depression?

"Because she will hate me Ruben." The tears flooded down your cheeks, burning your skin. "I'm not good enough for her. I won't be able to love her like I should, to take care of her as I should."

You closed your eyes as Rubens tight embrace smothered your whole being, shielding you beneath his strong arms.

"Don't say that." He whispered, collecting you in his arms. "You're not in this alone, you're with me, remember?"

There was a sense of relief, a relief that he was there, holding you in a time where you weren't sure if your legs could hold you up anymore.

"I'm here, please tell me that you know I'm here."

His arms trembled around your body.

"I know you're here." You whispered and suddenly the trembling stopped.

Ruben brought you arms length, his hands cradling your face.

"I'm here for you, always." His hands dried your tears.

"I know, I know." You muttered, a sensation of guilt overwhelming you. How could you tell him such a thing? To get rid of the baby. Ruben was never going to look at you the same after hearing such a dark request leave your mouth.

"Look at me." He said, raising your fallen chin with his hand.

"We'll get through this, together."

You nodded. "Together."

He bent down to kiss you, your wet cheeks cold against his nose. Ruben didn’t budge, instead his arms pulled you closer, pressing your body against his, showing you that even in your darkest hour he would always want you the same.

#fanfiction #man city #manchester city #ruben dias x reader #football imagine #ruben dias #ruben dias imagine #ruben dias angst #depression #footballer x reader #football angst #footballer imagine #football x reader #football

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st-armand · 11 months

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Author’s Notes: Ha, yall thought that the Plug!Hobie fic was gunna be posted first, gotta keep yall on your toes. I finished this first so here it is <3 Also any content by me about Hobie his age is 21-24. Im also looking for people to beta read.

CWs: Mention of piercing gone wrong, suggestive, stealing, not beta read

Random Hobie Brown Headcanons

He has/had more piercings, notably a pair of sub-clavicle piercings, a belly piercing and nipples piercings (I know other people headcanon him as having a prince albert, but god I know that shit hurts so we’ll be skipping for now). He took those out because they kept getting caught in the frayed fabrics of his clothing, and especially worse his spider suit.

His final straw was amidst fighting a foe, he sustained several injuries, but he was horrified looking at the ripped skin of his clavicle, frantically looking for the bar and the flesh still attached, he did, but it was deep in the crevices of his suit and didn’t find it until after repairing it.

That was enough to get rid of all his torso piercings.

Hobie is extremely anal retentive when it comes to the upkeep of his piercings though, every night, maybe except those he’s really incapacitated from battle. He spends so much time in the morning carefully soaking q-tips in saline to clean the puncture holes, if he can take the jewelry out to let it soak in peroxide for a few hours.

You both fight over the real estate of the sink and its mirror, until you ask (threaten) him to get you a vanity so you both can have space to get ready, he does and its gorgeous; a vintage one he found abandoned on a side street.

But this doesn’t stop him taking up vanity space.

“Feel pretty sitting here luv”

Hobie is of Jamaican heritage, I headcanon that his grandmother is his only living relative, and he dedicates so much time taking care of her in her old age, despite their arguments about Hobie being able to be free, and not held down by family. She knows she won’t have many years left, and she may want to embrace him in her love for these final years, but she also doesn’t want him to feel a great heartbreak at the loss.

That being said he visits her every few days, stopping by for some beef patties, jerk chicken, curries of all kind, taking home the bulk containers of sorrell and ginger beer, Grandma Brown doesn’t question how her lanky streetlight grandson has gotten so strong and fit over the last few years, or how he’s able to take the large crates back to his flat.

She has her suspicions and theories, but she would rather not pry if it could end in harm for the both of them.

When he’s off being spiderman, or doing shows and odd jobs, you take up the mantle, visiting Grandma Brown and aiding her around the home, Grandma Brown gets to sit back comfortably as you take over cleaning and seasoning the chicken, she trusts you to remember all the ingredients she uses to make Hobie feel like he’s still a child with how nostalgic the food makes him.

She genuinely loves having you around, but she also loves to tease her grandson, “Don’t know what you see in that boy, he should kiss the ground you walk on darling,”

And that’s not to say he doesn’t. The undercurrent of his unruffled attitude, is an adoration for you, he loves you in a way he can’t even put into words for his songs. He thanks whatever cosmic source there is for dropping you in his lap, like a starved dog given shelter, and cared for the rest of its life.

Sometimes you catch him staring at you deeply, teasing the inside of his lip piercing with his tongue causing it to wiggle around, youre locked into his penetrating gaze, you feel critically wounded by his affection, it always comes in sudden frothing sea waves, cooling your body, leaving you to yearn for the warmth of the sun that is his love.

Hobie isn’t the type of punk to wear sexually suggestive clothing, but he does use riskier photos of you or the both of you, faces obscured or cropped, and edited heavily with grain to make it look vintage, he takes them to a vendor he works with closely for band merch and has them screen print the design on shirts for the both of you, loves wearing them during concerts especially to ward off erratic fans.

You let Hobie pester you about getting a piercing, which you know you can’t handle the pain for, but you humor him.

“Luv ya need some metal on that leng face of yours” He’ll say every few weeks, despite knowing the answer, insanity is doing the same thing knowing the results won’t change, Hobie’s fine with being insane if it means maybe one day your resolve will crack and he can see you two with matching jewelry.

He often ponders about what gems and metals would look best, the color, the shape, the size, and how all these can complement that enticing face of yours.

Steals you clothes (duh not original, but considering my taste of clothes…), and I don’t mean a few pieces here and there, he actively searches for things that will compliment your wardrobe, and in the span of a few months together your closet has doubled in size.

One day you say you’re interested in latex, he’s going to barter with some craftsperson to get you a few items to experiment with, maybe a few gloves.

You say you want to be corporate goth (I don’t see people ever adding corp goth to their alternative reader fics) ? He’s nicking the most gorgeous pants and skirt suits he can find, getting accessories and sitting beside you as you customize the outfits together.

Like high fashion, Thierry Mugler or VW? He has no problems with linking up with Black Cat to get into stock warehouses and design studios to steal some, Black Cat teases him by saying ‘You owe me for this bug.’ But she gets compensation by nicking a bunch of clothes for herself.After the fact they bound off in separate directions carrying webbed satchels of merchandise.

You know he stole them, in fact youre proud he was able to do it with ease.

(He doesn’t tell you Black Cat helped him, you wrongly assume they are attracted to each other, but Black Cat is actually a lesbian, he’s seen her in costume as a spectator of a dyke march parade under the guise of ‘watching out for the community’, he doesn’t tell her he’s seen her sneaking off into a civilian woman’s apartment, he’s happy to keep the city safe enough for everyone to nurture love.)

You wear these outfits with pride, sauntering down the street as an orchestra of gawks, and stares fills the area, blown away by the complexities of the outfit, and attention to detail to every complimentary aspects of the look, the essence of slay cunt one could say.

When Hobie’s there walking alongside you, he lets a hand glide to your lower back, urging you to walk faster, whispering into your ear,

“Walk faster luv, don’t you wanna give them a show?”

And scene. Hope yall enjoyed these, I aint great at british slang so be patient and give tips!

Comments, questions, criticisms? Let me know!

Request are OPEN

#hobie brown x reader #hobie brown #hobie headcanons #across the spiderverse #atsv #atsv hobie #hobie brown x black!reader #miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara x reader

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fanficsforheartandsoul · 5 months

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Happy Ending | Simon "Ghost" Riley x Fem!Reader

Note: This has been ghosting around in my head for some time now because of the song "Wallpaper" by Megan Cromwell. I noticed that whenever I don't have the pressure of a request in the back of my head for a story it's much easier to write. That's why I wrote this rather easily and quickly. I just wanted to post something again lol. So yeah, have some good ol' super dramatic angst. I'll be more active again hopefully.

Fandom: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare II (2022)

Warnings: Angst, Heartbreak, Unrequited Love, Mentions of NSFW Stuff, Trauma, Reader has some Issues

Summary: Ghost wants a happy ending but not with you.

Word Count: ~2k

If you want to be tagged in my stories send me a pm with the fandom/character name! Or comment on the fic :)

Masterlist

Call sign: Vigil

"We can't do this anymore."

You had known from the start that sleeping with him was a bad idea.

Generally, people advise you against sleeping with a co-worker. Because it makes things complicated. Even more complicated when you're both in the military.

Because technically you’re not allowed to fuck, your actions could be clouded by emotions, potentially risking not only your but the lives of your fellow operators as well. But that little clause in your contract was printed in that tiny font, and so you decided to ignore it.

It didn’t stop you from getting involved with your lieutenant. You were never a big fan of rules after all. Your rank as a sergeant after so many years of service in the military said enough about that.

But at the start, you truly believed that a physical relationship with him wouldn't cause trouble to you or anyone else.

You thought you had it under control. At least in the beginning.

Yes, you had been attracted to him since your first meeting when you had signed your contract with Taskforce 141. Mysterious men were your thing, and he embodied such a man with his skull mask.

So yeah, you did allow yourself to daydream about him, and have some dirty thoughts every once in a while. It wasn’t like you were the only one.

You were attracted to him and you knew he was attracted to you. It was mutual and actually pretty obvious.

You could feel his searing gaze on you just a few days after you had joined the taskforce; the way his eyes trailed up and down your body. The looks he gave you were charged with want.

But attraction doesn't necessarily lead to a romantic relationship, right?

He was a good-looking man in your opinion; tall, rugged, buff, with muscles and fat in the right places, just the way you liked it.

His face couldn't be considered conveniently attractive yet that made it so much better for you. The arch in his brows, the dark eyebags, the scars on his cheeks, his cheekbones. He was your type. And his rough appearance fuelled the fire in your lower stomach and your imagination.

What was the harm in joining him in the sheets and having a bit of fun? It wasn't like you loved him.

That’s what you had asked yourself.

It was much better to get rid of your pent-up frustration with him instead of a toy or a rare one-night stand when you were off-duty. And damn, was he good in bed.

Rough, fast-paced, keen to try out every possible position, and not shy of pleasing you. You could've expected it. He was a man who wasn't afraid to get down and dirty. Dirt, blood, sweat, and other fluids... It didn't matter.

Short summary: It was pure ecstasy every time.

You two had lots of fun together in lots of different positions and locations, and that was all it was. Just some fun.

No strings attached, as you both declared at the start. Just fuckbuddies.

"I'm not a relationship kind of guy, Y/N" he had told you after you had spent your first time together.

You had snorted because shit, you weren't either. Both of you were too broken and bruised by the baggage of your pasts. Your traumas would probably weigh you both down in the long run. So you were fine with the line he had drawn between you.

It was okay. No emotions, no obligations, no lovey-dovey shit, just a means to an end.

Just a meeting in your room after a mission, a phone call on your days off, then a quick meet-up in a hotel. Just pleasure. Not love.

Until it wasn't just that anymore.

You two had settled into a routine where he would join you in your room late every other night.

After you had pleasured each other enough, he would leave soon after, and somehow - with time, you began to miss the warmth next to you on your bed.

The feeling came slowly creeping, and it took you by surprise.

You never asked him to stay; you didn't dare cross the line. To ask for a bit more affection. But you wished.

That he held you just a bit closer during the act. That he remained next to you just for a few more minutes after it. That he kissed your scars, your lips. That he touched you as if you were something, someone precious to him. Someone important.

Sure, you liked it when he treated you like an unbreakable object when his grip left bruises on your body - in a way, they satisfied your need for more. They marked you as his. But just for once, you wanted to be treasured by him. To feel that you meant something more to him.

You didn't know when your feelings for him had turned into a fluttering mess in your chest. He wasn't just a means to an end anymore. You valued him. Not just as a soldier who had your back. Not just as a friend. But as a man, a partner. A man you wanted close to you. For the rest of your life. No matter how long that would be.

Because Simon had done something no one else had been able to do before.

He made you wish. For a future. A future with him.

He made you wish to be better, to be a little less broken. To pick up the pieces that had once made you whole. You wanted to be better. A better version of yourself. For him. To have a chance to be truly happy. To get that fairy tale life others dream about – you once had dreamed about when you were younger, your shoulders lighter.

His attention made you excel, it made you stronger, faster, harder. You were just better when he was around. A better soldier, a better woman, a happier person.

And you thought, no, believed that he understood that. That he helped you to be better. That you needed him. Not just in your bed, but by your side. As your other half.

You both were people of few words, so you thought that through your actions, your eagerness during missions, and your gentle touches during your time together, you conveyed all these feelings. That he got it, saw how you felt about him.

But you never spelled it out. Never said; I've come to love you.

Just let these feelings simmer under your heart, hoping that one day he'd get what you felt for him.

"We can't do this anymore, Vigil."

You'd love to say that it came as a surprise when he, one day, called you to meet up and told you these words.

But you knew subconsciously. Felt it. Long before he actually said the words, they were coming.

His calls had been less frequent, his visits rarer, and to your confusion, his eyes began to look different whenever you saw him. They looked clearer, and happier.

Only after you saw him at the party after your successful operation in Chicago did you understand. He did look happier.

But not because of you.

And only then did you realize that your brain had played a trick on you. You were so consumed by your feelings for him that you didn't realize how big the rift between you two had gotten.

He laughed.

Simon Riley laughed heartily for the first time since you knew him. Not just one of his usual chuckles that he reserved for your or Soap's jokes.

No, true deep laughter that came from deep within his chest.

And all because of a joke that the woman next to him had told him.

You didn't know her; you had never even seen her face before. She was a complete stranger to you, and yet Ghost rested a hand on her hip as if she belonged to him. As if she was his fucking girlfriend.

Soap looked at you, then who you were staring at.

"That's Ghost's new lass, I heard. Can't believe that guy found someone before us, eh? Surprised me too, I tell ya."

His words were like poison, and you tasted bile in your mouth. So much made sense to you now.

"Why not? I thought you liked it?! I enjoy it every time."

"That's not relevant anymore. I'm just telling you, Y/N. This thing is done. I won't come here anymore."

"But-"

"Let's just forget this happened, alright?"

"...."

"Okay."

You hadn't even been able to argue. Or tell him your feelings.

After all, you were the one who said you could never be in a relationship with him or fall in love with him. It was pathetic to get back on your words and admit it in front of him.

So you just shut your mouth and accepted his words for the time being.

A tiny voice in your head whispered that you could tell him your feelings later when he calmed down a bit. When he started to miss you.

You knew the whole situation with Hassan was getting to him and the others, so you cut him some slack. You thought he would change his mind. Believed it. Blindly.

But now, here you were. Looking like a fool. Feeling like one. Being one.

And the thing was, you couldn't even say anything to him.

He was the one who made you happy. Who made you want to be better. Less traumatized, more whole.

You could see in his eyes that she was that to him. Not you.

So, what right did you have to intervene?

You wanted him to be happy, after all.

How could you deny him that? You both had gone through so much.

She seemed to be the complete opposite of you. She basically glowed in the room, her smile radiant, and her aura was light as if the world had blessed her to never know hardship.

Her frame was soft, and her skin unblemished, untainted by the cruelty and darkness that existed in the world.

You couldn't help but compare yourself to her.

Your cracks, the marks of your trauma, made themselves known through various scars on your body. Your hands were rough, covered with old blisters; so unlike hers, and you were all jagged and sharp edges, while she looked so cute and bubbly.

You could see her appeal, and it hurt to think that way, but in another world, in different circumstances, you could see her as your potential friend. She just had the appearance and aura of someone who people gravitated toward. A soothing soul.

In that sense, you could understand Ghost. Why he searched her side. But you fucking hated it.

As lovely as she seemed, right now in this bar; you couldn't help but despise her.

She took him from you.

A voice whispered in your head. The ugliness of that thought made you want to throw up, because didn't it prove that you weren't completely right in the head?

Ghost wasn't your property. He had his own free will, and just because she appeared didn't mean she stole him away.

After all, he never belonged to you anyway.

This was probably why Ghost didn't chose you, you thought to yourself. Your ugly jealousy and possessiveness were rearing their heads.

I wouldn't choose myself either.

You felt like crying, but you couldn't even do that.

You hadn't cried for years now, and although the pain in your heart was worse than any of the bullet wounds you had received during your career, not a single tear welled up in your eyes.

You were truly broken. And the man who could fix you wasn't at your side. He would never be.

You looked at the two of them once more. An ugly thing clawed at your chest, begging to get out. Your vision turned red. You clenched your fists.

You had to get out of here. Now.

"You okay, Vigil?" Soap asked next to you, noticing that you seemed a bit off.

"Yeah. I just- think I didn't turn my stove off. I got to go."

You mumbled before you turned around and hurried to the exit of the bar. Soap tried to protest, but you were out the door before he could even finish his sentence:

"But you just arrived- Damn... off she goes."

He sighed and looked towards that woman and Ghost. They made eye contact. As if Simon was already looking at him. Or you.

#call of duty #call of duty modern warfare ii #modern warfare II #modern warfare 2022 #simon riley #simon riley x fem reader #x fem reader #ghost x fem reader #ghost x female reader #ghost #soap #john soap mctavish #simon ghost riley #soldier reader #141!reader #special forces reader #fem reader #fanficsforheartandsouls

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stevessunglasses · 1 year

Text

when in doubt, always blame a man

note: this was supposed to be posted ages ago, but i couldn't figure out how to write the morning after. i still don't know how, so have this as is lmao. it’s a fun meet ugly.

this comes from the prompt: you got drunk, knocked on my door at 4a, obnoxiously flirted with me and then vomited all over my feet, now it’s the next day and you’re hungover and don’t remember anything and my firm belief that steve can only flirt when drunk.

word count: 2k

warnings: second hand embarrassment, vomit

It was rare that you got a full night's sleep in your apartment complex. Something or someone always managed to wake you up. It could be your neighbors arguing, a too loud radio, police sirens, your cat stepping on your stomach; anything, but always something. For the past two weeks however, you’d been blessed with undisturbed sleep. You had forgotten how wonderful it felt to be well rested. Every day seemed so much lighter, and easier, and you felt so much more productive. You were caught up on chores, with no piles of laundry or dishes, and had been acing your classes with no need for all nighters, and even had time to hang out with your friends a couple of times a week. It was the best you’d felt in months.

So when you woke up at 3:37 a.m. to someone pounding on your door, you were rightfully pissed.

You groaned, turning over and pulling your pillow over your head in a desperate attempt to ignore them. The pounding continued for a moment, before stopping. You sighed, and settled deeper into your bed, ready to drift back to sleep, when -

“Robin!”

Ugh. At this point, if you didn’t get rid of them, your neighbors were going to blame you.

“Robbieeeeeeeeee!”

You threw off your blankets, rolled out of bed, and contemplated getting dressed before deciding against it. you were wearing a shirt that, While not workplace appropriate with a slogan of WHEN IN DOUBT, ALWAYS BLAME A MAN, fell to mid thigh and boxer style panties. If someone was going to drunkenly wake you up this late, they got you in your truest form.

You didn’t turn on any lights, instead walking down the short hallway to your front door with your arms outstretched like a zombie. At one point, you tripped over your cat, resulting in angry hissing, swearing, and a mumbled apology.

“Robinnnnnnnnnnnn!”

Rolling your eyes at whoever was in the hall, you swung your door open, completely ready to rip them apart for waking you up, only for your wrath to get stuck in your throat.

The drunken stranger was hot.

He was tall, with thick brown hair somehow styled and messy at the same time, with a pair of aviators resting on the top of his head. His white button up was open to the middle of his chest, showing off a silver chain and equally thick chest hair. A brown leather jacket, black jeans rolled at the ankle, and white nikes completed the look, but you didn’t care about that. You were far more focused on his square jaw, pretty lips, and kissable moles.

“You’re not robin,” the drunken stranger slurred, causing you to make some terrible noise that was somewhere between a scoff and a laugh. “You’re like, way hotter than robin.”

You watched his red rimmed hazel eyes trail up your bare legs, and a surprising sense of confidence settled over him. You were wearing a shirt that came down to mid thigh, but the look he was giving you made you feel like you were wearing something far more scandalous. He straightened from his slouch and a smirk pulled at his pretty lips. An arm came up to lean against the door frame, showcasing his already impressive biceps, and allowing a bigger gap in his shirt to see his chest.

“Honey, you can blame me for whatever you want, whenever you want,” he said. “I mean, goddamn, I was already having a good night, but you just made it a million times better. I must've been a saint in another life to get to meet you, sweetheart.”

“Alright, casanova,” you laughed. “I'm glad you’re having fun, but Robin’s not here, so time to go, okay?”

“Who cares?” the man said, pushing away from the door frame to instead lean against it with his shoulder, crossing his arms in front of his chest. his biceps seemed even bigger like that, making you unconsciously lick your lips. “I just met an angel.”

“Says the saint,” you said, unable to help grinning at the cocky man in front of you.

“Or a sinner in need of saving,” he offered with a shrug. “Whatever I am, I'll happily worship you. The only heaven I'll be sent to is when I'm alone with you.”

His tongue slowly traced along his bottom lip, making you flush from head to toe. How were you supposed to respond to that? His hazel eyes remained steady on yours, and you found it impossible to look away.

“I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies,” he whispered, voice rough and husky. “I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife. Offer me that deathless death, good god, let me give you my life.”

You blinked, shaking your head slightly to clear the fog of his spell. “Wait. Are you quoting Hozier?”

The man blanched and his eyes widened. “No?”

“Oh my god, you totally are! Take Me to Church. My lover’s got humor; she’s the giggle at a funeral,” your voice was terribly off pitch, but you didn’t care in the slightest. You were having too much fun watching the man cringe. “Knows everybody’s disapproval, I should’ve worshiped her sooner. Who doesn’t know it?”

“Okay, wait-” he said, straightening away from the frame and swaying slightly. He looked unsteady on his feet again, but you weren’t paying attention.

“Have you used that before?” you laughed. “There’s no way it worked.”

“It’s romantic,” he complained, rubbing the heel of his hand against his eye.

“I mean, yeah, he is, but why would you use such well known lyrics? Why not do something like make your good love known to me or just tell me about your day or even honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips, we should just kiss like real people do.”

“I was going off worshiping you but kissing will do. Here, shut the door. Lemme try again.”

You giggled at that, lifting a hand to cover your mouth to try and quiet the noise. The man grinned, thrilled at being able to make you laugh but it turned into a pit when your giggles settled and you shook your head at him.

“No,” you said, still softly smiling. “It’s late. You’re drunk. You need to go home!”

“I just met my soulmate, and you want me to go home?! Take mercy on my poor, drunk soul and give me your name and number at least,” he said as he dramatically slapped a hand to his heart.

“You won’t even remember me in the morning,” you shook your head affectionately.

The man threw his head back and scoffed. “I totally will! I haven’t blacked out in years.”

“Then tonight’s the night.”

“Nope. You’ll be ingrained in my memory, honey.”

He leaned forward again, stumbling slightly with the momentum of his movement. You reached out to catch him, but he waved off, instead pointing a finger in your face. His hazel eyes caught yours and froze you in place and time, and you were certain that even if he woke up tomorrow with no recollection of you, this man and this night would be seared into your mind.

“I was gonna quote more Hozier to you but that was the only song I know.”

“You’re ridiculous,” you said, unable to stop smiling.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered.

He was still leaning so close that part of you felt that you could feel his breath across your cheeks. You watched as his gaze flicked from your eyes to your lips again and again. Your heart was racing, racing, racing and god, please don’t let this be a dream. He stepped closer, lifting his hand to rest on your face, his thumb caressing the apple of your cheek. His eyes flicked back and forth again, waiting for your permission before he began to slowly lean forward as your eyelids drifted closed.

A hand on your waist shoved you to the side, as a body suddenly pitched forward with a terrible sound. You watched in complete shock as the stranger vomited an endless stream all over the carpet.

Oh, this was a nightmare.

The man groaned, waking you from your stunned state. You quickly grabbed his elbow, carefully guiding him inside and to sit on your couch. He immediately tilted to the side, laying down with his arms wrapped around his stomach. Keeping an eye on him over your shoulder, you hurried to your little kitchenette to grab a piece of tupperware. The man had started to hitch forward just as you made it back to him.

“Here,” you said, shoving the tupperware into his hands. He took it, but was unable to say thank you as he opened his mouth.

Total. Fucking. Nightmare.

A while later, you had cleaned up and were now turning the couch into a bed as the man brushed his teeth in the bathroom. He had argued at first, embarrassed and far more sober than he had been before, but you ignored him. Maybe letting a stranger stay the night wasn’t the smartest choice, but you knew you’d feel terrible if you let him leave sick and drunk with no one to take care of him. You hadn’t told him that though, still annoyed with the circumstances that had gotten you here, and instead banished him to the bathroom to clean up.

You’d just put down the last pillow when the man returned. “Thank you for all this,” he said.

“No problem,” you replied, giving him a quick smile, but your eyes widened as you took him in. He had taken off his jacket and shoes, and his shirt was now completely unbuttoned, showcasing his chest in all its glory. His hair was disheveled and damp, like he had run wet hands through it and his pants sat low on his hips. He looked completely ravished, and for a moment you could only stare as you imagined other ways for him to have gotten there.

“I was gonna call my friend, but uh, my phone’s dead, so…”

“You can borrow my charger,” you said, shaking yourself free from your reverie. “I’ll grab it. Artie is probably hiding in my room right now, so sorry if she wakes you up later?”

“Artie?” he asked.

“My cat,” you explained. “She pretends to be shy, but then goes totally feral, so you might feel some love bites in the night.”

“As long as I can give them back to you,” he said with an easy grin.

“From Artie,” you rolled your eyes and tossed him a pillow. “I’m headed to bed. There’s water and Ibuprofen on the coffee table for when you wake up if I’m not up before you. More blankets are in that closet if you get cold.”

“Thank you,” he said. “I know I said that already, but I mean it. You really didn’t have to do all this.”

“Yeah, well,” you shrugged. “Not every night a drunk stranger wakes you up to flirt and then puke.”

The man cringed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Any chance we can forget about that part?”

“Never,” you laughed. He chuckled at that, making you grin.

“You sure I can’t just start over?” he asked.

“How’re you gonna do that?”

He rolled his neck and straightened, putting on a persona of easy confidence. He still looked partly disheveled with his clothes and his hair, but in that moment it hit you that maybe it was safer for you to have met this man when he was drunk and messy, because if you met him like this persona, sober, confident, and with that teasing smile on his face, you would have fallen in love in a heartbeat.

Instead, you were just confusingly turned on.

“Hey there, I’m Steve,” he said. He held out a hand for you to shake which you did so with a giggle. “Sorry for kinda crashing the party but I just had to introduce myself.”

“By picking an apartment at random?” you teased.

He snapped his fingers, giving you double finger guns and a wink. “You get it!”

“Go to sleep, you dork,” you laughed, walking past him to your room.

“I’ll dream about you!”

#steve harrington fluff #steve harrington #x reader #steve harrington x reader #stranger things #steve harrington x you #fluff #fic #steve harrington fic #steve harrington fanfic #stranger things fic #modern steve harrington #modern stranger things #stranger things x reader

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softie-rain · 28 days

Text

Step On Me

Part I - The Boy

Pairing: Sejanus Plinth/Coriolanus Snow

Summary: A voice broke the silence of the room. “I like what you did with the place.” Coriolanus' head perked up searching for the source of the voice, unable to believe what he had heard. Sejanus emerged from a darkened corner, coming into view, the moonlight tracing his figures and making him look ethereal.

Or, six times during his life where Coriolanus Snow sees Sejanus Plinth's ghost

Note: "omg did you post this cause it's Josh Rivera's birthday??" yes I did. It's finally here! I'm so proud of this fic, my first multi-chapter fanfiction that I've managed to finish! And my longest one, too! Put my heart and soul into this, hope you enjoy it (:

chapter: 1/7 (weekly updates!)

read it on ao3 here

Coriolanus woke up in a pool of sweat, panting. He sat up and gripped at the bed’s sheets, trying to calm down. He closed his eyes and started taking deep breaths in, focusing on his breathing and his heart’s beating, in a desperate attempt of slowing it down.

He slowly opened his eyes and looked around the room, searching for something that could give him comfort. But what could? What could give him comfort, when everything in that bedroom reminded Coriolanus of him. He didn’t regret moving in with the Plinths, at all. But maybe he should have insisted more when Ma’ Plinth offered him to sleep in Sejanus’ room.

When he finally managed to calm down he grabbed the glass of water on his nightstand and chugged it down, letting the water refresh his dry mouth. This wasn’t the first nightmare he had, and he knew it wasn’t going to be the last one either. He just hoped they would go away, as quickly as they came. But they didn’t. He’d try not to think about the source of his nightmares during the day, successfully so. Most of the time he was either busy at University or working under Dr. Gaul, which kept his mind busy enough not to think about it.

But at night, when he slept, he couldn’t stop it. And so he’d wake up, in the middle of the night, on the verge of a panic attack which he managed to keep at bay. Or at least, most of the time.

He was about to tuck himself back in bed, wanting to get some sleep before his alarm would brutally wake him again at 6 a.m., when a voice broke the silence of the room. “I like what you did with the place.”

Coriolanus' head perked up searching for the source of the voice, unable to believe what he had heard. Sejanus emerged from a darkened corner, coming into view, the moonlight tracing his figures and making him look ethereal. Coriolanus squeezed his eyes, he had to be still dreaming. “Not that it’s much different from when I used to sleep here. I’m glad you got rid of the drapes though. Those were awful.” Sejanus kept going, looking around the room and avoiding Coriolanus. He sat on the edge of his bed, looking out of the window with a peaceful look on his face. It made Coriolanus want to throw a chair at him, so calmly looking while Snow was about to lose his mind.

“Sejanus?” Coriolanus whispered, not fully trusting his voice to properly speak up. But Sejanus heard him clearly, turning his head to look at him. He offered him a gentle smile, a smile that didn’t reach his sad, brown eyes.

“Hi, Coryo.” His voice was as soft as he remembered it, and he couldn’t help the single tear that ran down his cheek. He observed the boy, every feature of his body, and he could feel Sejanus’ eyes still on him. He was frozen in place, and if it wasn’t for his breathing and the blinking of his eyes Coriolanus would have swore he wasn’t even alive.

But he wasn’t, was he?

His eyes landed on Sejanus’ neck. “Y-your neck.” He said, pointing at it. Sejanus looked down and observed his purple bruises that were adorning his neck like a fancy necklace. He let out a short laugh.

“Ah, yes. I guess that rope was tight uh? I mean, it had to break my neck,” He said, looking up at Coriolanus, “I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to be.”

Coriolanus didn’t know what to say, or do. He wanted to yell, to scream at Sejanus to go away. He wanted to run in his arms and hug him, hold him so tight and secure, making sure he wasn’t going to leave him again. He wanted to strangle him, for making him suffer like that. But he said anything and did nothing, unsure if that was even real.

“Why are you here?”

Sejanus gave him an amused look. “Is that what you’re going to ask? I thought you’d wanna start with the ‘how’ part, first.”

“Can I ask that?”

Sejanus shrugged. “I’m in your head, Coryo. You can ask anything. Though answers aren’t always granted.”

Coriolanus nodded his head, gulping. He knew that, realistically, it couldn’t actually be Sejanus in the room with him. But a small, naïve, innocent and foolish part of him, that he hated, hoped it was. “If you are in my head, then why don’t you go away? I don’t want you here. I don’t need your presence in my life.” Coriolanus stated, angrily. He couldn’t be seen or perceived as weak, not even by his hallucination of Sejanus.

But the other boy didn’t move. “I think there’s a thin line between want and need. One you never saw. And still don’t.” Coriolanus grabbed the empty glass and threw it at Sejanus. The boy dodged it easily, and the glass broke against the wall. His eyes followed the pieces of glass on the floor.

“Hope that doesn’t wake my parents. Do you ever talk about me? At dinner, maybe? I doubt you spend more time with them, other than during meals.”

Didn't he say he was in his head? Couldn't he find the answer by himself? Still, he shook his head no, and Sejanus nodded. “I thought so. I don't really see you and my father crying over me while eating stuffed pork.” He joked, and Coriolanus wanted to slap him.

Sejanus looked so relaxed, as if they were sixteen again chatting about Miss Click's latest assignment, and not about his premature death. It enraged him beyond repair, and he wished, begged, that Sejanus would just disappear. “Go away. Go away, please, go away, go away.” He said with gritted teeth, squinting his eyes.

“Coryo…”

“Go away. Go away!” He yelled like a maniac, hitting his head with his palms. Coriolanus pulled at his hair, almost to pull his dead best friend out of his brain.

This time there was no response. He slowly opened his eyes, his cheeks now strained with tears, and he sighed desperate when he saw Sejanus still sitting on the bed. He was facing the door, and Coriolanus looked at him confused, sniffing. It took him a minute to realize what Sejanus was waiting for.

“She's not coming in.”

Those brown eyes he both loved and despised so much were on his again. “Oh. Why not?”

“They're in District 2. With your father. Something about work, I think. They'll be back in a couple of days.” Sejanus nodded again, understanding.

“A shame. I would have loved to see Ma’. I miss her.”

Coriolanus tensed. He thought it was weird how his subconscious had made this version of Sejanus and yet he acted so alive, so real.

“Do you know how long it's been? Since, uhm, you last saw me?”

“Five months.” Coriolanus promptly replied, looking down, unable to keep eye contact with him.

Sejanus sighed. He got up and walked over the nightstand. He was standing so close to Coriolanus now, that if the blonde boy reached out he could have touched his hand. He so badly wanted to. But he didn't move. Sejanus observed the agenda on the wooden piece of furniture, grabbing it and opening it.

As he flipped through the pages he hummed, attempting a smile. “I see you've got yourself a busy day tomorrow. Maybe I should let you rest then.”

“Don't. Stay.” He said before he could stop himself. He regretted it immediately, but he couldn't take it back now.

“I thought you wanted me to go away?”

Coriolanus remained silent. He did. He wanted Sejanus to go away. Did he? He was yelling at him just a minute ago. And the anger was still there. Coriolanus could feel it in his blood, in his bones. But he couldn't bring himself to speak up now.

Sejanus sat on the bed once again, this time right next to Coriolanus. “Do you feel ashamed?” He asked, much to Coriolanus’ surprise.

“What?”

“When you hear my name?”

Coriolanus’ heart skipped a beat. Shame was a strong word. He didn't think he ever actually felt shamed for what happened to Sejanus. Guilty, sure, more than once. But in the end what other choice did he have? In the end it had been all Sejanus’ fault. The hanging was a consequence of his actions, not Coriolanus’.

But it still hurt him. More than he'd like.

“No.” He stated.

Sejanus scoffed. “I loved you.” He said.

Coriolanus felt his eyes water again. He squeezed his eyes trying to stop the tears from coming out. “Did you love me?” Sejanus asked, now wearing a judgemental frown on his soft facial features.

“I…” Did he? “I could have learned how to.”

“Could you?”

“I would have.”

Sejanus nodded, looking down. “I know it's my fault, for the record.” He said, before letting out a short laugh, “Pun not intended.”

Coriolanus couldn't bring himself to laugh along with him, finding once again his odd calm infuriating. “I can't really blame you for turning me in, can I?” Sejanus kept going.

“I assumed your father was going to pay your way out of it.” As always.

Sejanus shrugged, biting his nails. Coriolanus wanted to laugh when he realized he missed it. That stupid habit Sejanus had of biting his nails when nervous, or simply overwhelmed by any emotion. He didn't know how to react, or what to say, and so he'd bite his nails.

“Yeah, uh, I'd be lying if I said I didn't wish for it too. Yet here we are. Isn't it funny? You don't feel ashamed at all yet you're so guilty that you're seeing me in your, well my, bedroom.”

Coriolanus couldn't think of one single reason for which that situation could have been funny.

“Do you think you'll be able to forgive me?” Coriolanus asked, a lump forming in his throat, his voice breaking. Asking for forgiveness wasn't something he did. Never. Why was Sejanus haunting him like this? It wasn't Coriolanus’ fault. His guilt was based purely on the fact that he missed Sejanus. Why did he want his forgiveness? For what?

“I guess that answers your ‘why am I here’ question.” Sejanus said, giving him an amused grin. Coriolanus wanted to have another glass to throw at him. Why did he have to look so beautiful even when he was mocking him? “But the answer is no.”

“No?”

“No.”

“You said you're in my head, shouldn't you bring me comfort or whatever?” Coriolanus said annoyed. Why did Sejanus manage to bother him even when he was a projection of his own mind?

“I guess that this means you know too, I'd never forgive you.”

Coriolanus thought well of his next words before speaking again. “But… you still love me?”

“I'm dead.”

“Do you?” He insisted.

Sejanus nodded, maintaining eye contact with Coriolanus, glaring at him yet giving him the softest look he's ever received. He hated it. Yet loved it so much.

“I'm sorry.” He whimpered. “I miss you.” My, could he get more pathetic?

Sejanus laughed. He looked around the room. “Who knows. Maybe in another life we would sleep in here together. The only regret in your chest would be not telling me your feelings sooner.” His eyes fell on Coriolanus again. “But you have to live with the regret of murdering me instead.”

“I didn't! You brought it upon yourself!” He yelled, hitting him in his chest. This time Sejanus didn't move, didn't even flinch.

“Then why do you feel guilty?”

Sejanus had this power over Coriolanus of making him doubt any of his beliefs. Anything he was sure of came down trembling in ruins with just a simple question or sentence said by that beautiful voice.

“Because I turned you in. But I wouldn't have needed to if you hadn't messed up.”

Sejanus shrugged, without responding, seemingly unbothered by Coriolanus’ accusation. Didn't he himself say that it was his fault? As if reading his mind, Sejanus spoke up. “Coryo, this isn't just about fault. It's about trust. Should I have listened to you? Yes. Should you have not turned me in? Yes. By doing so you betrayed my trust.”

“I did? And what about you, plotting with the rebels?”

“How did I betray you? I told you my plan from the start. Maybe my death wasn't completely your fault, but you surely took part in it.”

And that, much to Coriolanus’ dismay, was undeniable.

“So you're here to make me feel more guilty than I already do.” He stated looking down. All of a sudden he felt a pair of arms around his body, making him freeze. He couldn't stop the tear that came out this time, as he inhaled Sejanus smell and reeled in the warmth of his tight and secure hold.

“And less lonely.” He murmured in the blonde boy's ear.

Coriolanus shifted in bed so that Sejanus could lay down with him, his arms still firmly around his body. “You'll have to move on, at some point.” He murmured in his ear, gently running his hand through Coriolanus’ curls. “But it's okay, you have time, I'm here for you. Just, when you do, don't forget me, will you? Don't be a stranger.”

Coriolanus nodded, doing his best not to sob in Sejanus’ arms, but allowing himself to let that sadness fill his body, to face it and learn to live with it (at least at that moment). Being weak, just for this once, when no one was there to witness it but Sejanus, maybe it wouldn’t have hurt him. Maybe he needed it. Just this once.

That’s how Coriolanus fell asleep, in Sejanus’ arms, full of hatred for the boy he missed and loved so much.

#the ballad of songbirds and snakes #the hunger games the ballad of songbirds & snakes #tbosas #tbosbas #sejanus plinth #coriolanus snow #sejanus x coriolanus #coriolanus x sejanus #snowjanus #snowplinth

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