#not

[floating-in-the-blue]

Not me rereading the cryogenically frozen white whale wip and going "damn, this is really good, wish the author would update" while also consciously being aware that the author's brain, ie my brain, is currently in no shape or form to tackle this beast again. Nevermind that there's actual current wips to work on in my current fandom!

#yeo writes #not #not right now #maybe one day again #what have you done to me jonaira?!?!

[ohnoidontexist]

#efforts #matter #not #promises

[cjrights]

I NEVER MEANT TO START A WARR😭😭😭

BLOOOOOOCCCKKKKEEEDDD 🗣️🗣️🗣️

#luce my twin #NOT #im being edged by anon

[abouttofillhisshoes]

do you ever think and then have to physically get up and get the old bible sitting on top of your dresser crack it open and read a few passages just to cleanse your soul

#this new fic idea is like #not #id be burned at the stake if we werent in the SeCulAr AgE #matty u plague my mind #shut up lena

[thought-not-proccessed]

「Hello,world!」 POTY- Pt. 2

Wassup people,

So I forgot about this darn thing again. I was expecting to. My mind is usually racing with a bunch of different, random, complicated thoughts. So I knew we weren’t going to be consistent. Anyways I wanted to make sure I do my POTY 2. Another person who stood out to me and make me realize a lot about myself. A woman I worked with at work which we’ll call C.

C was a very complicated relationship I had. By relationship I mean platonic but it brought things out of me. 1st, I knew of her already when she first began to work with me. She was a friend of my brothers so that became the quick, easy common thing we had. Which is great for me because I’m not the type to rush over to new people. I wait for a genuine interaction to arise as we’re mostly busy. So our friendship happened naturally. I knew I would like her because my brother did and I take my brother’s stamp of approval. The problem is that I began to feel things towards her. Now I’m a very introspective person so when I started feeling these things I wanted to make sure I didn’t have bad intentions. I had to be careful because she was friends with my brother and I didn’t want to set a bad vibe. But everything was very playful and chill for the most part. I ultimately decided that even if I did like her it probably wouldn’t be a great idea because of the dynamic.

Do we continued talking at work. We hung out once with another work friend who I was mildly attracted to, which ended with me in the hospital. But that’s a story for another time. I enjoyed talking and hanging out with C. A while after the hang out we started to stay behind after work and talk in our cars for hours (We would alternate cars). It was honestly one of the best times I’ve had with a friend. Our first time hang out just us two was due to a workplace drama that she was involved in. We ate and talked about it. The first time we hung out in the cars was way after that.

We had nice conversations. She would lead most because I’m more of a listener and enjoyed hearing about her life which, compared to me, was more interesting. She told me of how something’s she’s been through have affected her thoughts of relationships and people, to which I agreed with some and combated others. It was during these times my feeling began to rise. I felt she deserved to go through good memories and be treated right, and that maybe I could be that for her. But the thoughts of ruining a friendship, and whether or not she even like me stopped me from advancing. Our talks had me confused of if she was ready to be with someone or if she even found me attractive. I had given her hints on how I viewed her but feel I was too soft with it. Maybe if I had been more aggressive in my words. I always aim to not offend women so I stick to words like cute/pretty/beautiful, rather than hot/sexy/etc.

I always feel cautious with people I work with too because I know they will spread info to other and don’t want it to be talked about. I prefer to keep that stuff private between the two parties, but the world doesn’t agree with me at times. Anyways I’ve gotten distracted. My feeling and my thoughts had me confused. Then a moment happened that changed it. C was talking about altering her body and when she did she showed me.

I was thrown off guard on a random ass day. I was pleased, of course but confused. She had spoken of lot being ready. I complimented her and let it pass on. After that day I thought about it a lot but the more I thought about it the more my brain was fogged. So much evidence on both side. Then there’s the work aspect. I also didn’t know what her intentions were. I wished for an easier tell.

I never got it. Had a few more car meetings. Hanging out, getting ice cream, telling each other really personal things. I felt we were very close. I had these feelings and thought in my brain every time we met up but didn’t act because I didn’t want to assume anything. Soon she would change her schedule and be unable to hand after work. She is a very hardworking person, which I admired. This made her very stressed, which I tried to combat. Now she’s seeing someone. I never got confirmation. If she was trying to tell me something or if her showing me what she did was just a normal thing she was showing a good friend.

Im not writing this angry or in a sad manner. These times, when we talked in our cars, were some of my favorite nights. Away from my home, my problems. I felt calm. Being with someone I cared about. I hope she continues to go at her dreams. I hope she’s found that person she was looking for, though a small part wishes she’d be with me first. Although I didnt “get” any, I leaned much about myself.

I learned how to categorize my feelings. How I really feel about people. I learned that I have a lot of self control, introspection, compassion, and empathy. However I also learned not to be ashamed of my thoughts or feelings and that it was natural. I learned that I’m not a bad person for how I feel, and i shouldn’t hide my feelings. Whether a good or bad outcome, I should have given myself the clear answer I wanted/needed. As I move forward I will try my best to be clear about all my feelings and intentions with people. As I think everyone else should be too.

Thank you for reading

JC

#psychology #thoughts #not #processed #mindset #mind #relationships #mental #mental health #ships #dating #wants #self work #self worth #self #self care #self love #self improvement #person #of #the #year #person of the year

[snailso0]

*flirting with a mathematics major* :

Me: “Ay girl nice uh . perimeter *finger guns*

Her: *Stabs my eyes with her protractor*

#im #not #high #YOUR #highh

[a-haunting-of-endermen]

i have GOT to get more brave 😔 (talking to other people that post cubfna)

#everybody seems so cool yet here i am. uh. #Not

[ohnoidontexist]

#no #contact #is #not #punishment #it's #self #care

[hcnnibal]

Quis ut Deus?

*screaming*

teehee

#a1/a2 #i love how obvious a2s name is #and how #not #a1s name is

[blitzy-blitzwing]

Charlie’s glad they’re getting along. 😀

#not #hehehehe #my shipper heart is saying ‘kiss’ #my doodles #Hazbin Hotel #Charlie Morningstar #Lucifer Morningstar #Alastor

[jammysheadspace]

Happy Saturday congrats happy birthday

#dinner #is #not #over #er

[raytm]

i was talking 2 sophie about boothill and his fucking mehcnical ass horse being called avenging bullet ( angie for short ) ???? and it has the personality of bumble bee from fucking transformers.

we also talked about the double date between sampard and guns n roses and how gepard went 10 for 10 shots with boothill and then had 2 be carried out bc the mans could not stand.

#they really are tLK;JSALKDJASLDKJ #saying gepard cannot hold his liquor at ALL but then also if ur like ha do a shot come on u wont he will do it #he gets competitive he's #alkjshdlkajsdsad #not #having a good time. #ooc. #anyway #alcohol /

[mxmade-up]

Idk, I really feel like 99% of fashion shows are performance art

#not #personally a fan of high fashion #without doing research it looks silly to me and the industry seems rather scummy #but that applies to modern art too #just not my thing I guess #my stuff