#so I told my supervisor that I am not comfortable driving her tomorrow | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sopebubbles · 2 years

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Chapter 9

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At 33 weeks, you may notice baby's kicks hurt more.

Chapter summary: Yn deals with the fallout of the recent announcement.

Warnings: little bit of hurt, some comfort. Mostly just yn in her feels.

WC: 3k

Despite their schedule becoming much more intense starting the day after your 'relationship' was confirmed, Jimin insists on you staying at his apartment while you recover, refusing to let you return to work until you feel...well, as good as you can feel at seven months pregnant. He even took a note from your doctor to your supervisor and told him not to contact you until you were better. Every night he heads straight home from practice to check on you, in addition to the messages and phone calls both he and Jeongguk send you when they have short breaks. Muster is approaching soon, and in addition to needing to perfect their two night performance, the boys have numerous photo shoots and other preparations to make before Festa begins.

"Are you sure you're ready," Jimin asks for the fifth time as you argue about returning to work the next day, the Monday following your accident.

"Yes, Jimin! I'm perfectly fine! My head doesn't even hurt. And I need to go to work while I still can," you sigh, amazed you still have a job at all.

"Fine, but you don't have to go home. Stay here tonight, and I'll drive you to work in the morning." He's been trying to get you to stop packing for the last ten minutes.

"Don't you have to go in at like, five am tomorrow?" You look at him skeptically.

"Not tomorrow. Photo shoot! We have to get beauty rest, so I don't have to show up until 8:30."

"Jimin-"

But he just pouts at you. "Please, Y/N. I'm too tired to drive you back to your apartment tonight. And what if you fall down your stairs again or worse. Please."

You groan loudly. "Fine! I'll stay," you grumble, sitting yourself down on the bed with a pout over your fading independence.

The next day you dress yourself in the outfit you were wearing when you went to the hospital, since they're the only work clothes you have with you. The ride to the HYBE building is quiet, neither of you really being morning people. You're shocked that as you enter the lobby you're instructed to attend a meeting with your boss. Jimin can see by the look on your face that this is a surprise to you, and since he's a little early he decides to go with you. You end up riding in the elevator with Hoseok, who gives Jimin an odd look when he stays in the elevator with you instead of getting off at their floor.

You try to take deep breaths to keep yourself calm in spite of what you know is coming. You've been anticipating this outcome for months, and honestly it was only a matter of time.

"I don't think I'll be in here for very long," you tell Jimin under your breath as you arrive at the door.

"I can-"

"No, please. It will be less humiliating if I go through it alone," you insist, your hand on the doorknob.

"But you shouldn't-"

"Jimin, one way or another, this was bound to happen. Just accept it." Despite your cool exterior you're terrified. Yes, you'd been expecting this. And yes, you had more help now than when you initially started to prepare yourself for this end. But it didn't make the prospect of being a new single mother and unemployed any less scary. How would you ever get back on your feet? And with a scandal like this, who in the industry would ever hire you? You give Jimin one last emotionless half smile before you turn the handle and enter the executive producer's office.

"Have a seat, Y/N," Jimin hears the man say before the door closes. Jimin stands against the wall by the door, leaning his head back and hoping you're wrong.

"You must know why you're here, Y/N," your boss says to you as you slowly walk toward the seat, tearing your eyes away from the box on a side table that has your name on it.

"I can imagine, sir," you say, trying not to sound weak even though you probably do.

"You're being fired from the company for breaching your contract by having relations with one of the idols," he explains simply.

"Yes, sir," you reply just as flatly. There's no point in arguing or denying it. Jimin said as much the other night to millions of people. Even if it was all a lie, the allegation was no less true.

"I'm really impressed that you were able to keep the secret for so long. Truly no one suspected. Even when everyone wanted to know who your baby's father was, you wouldn't tell. Two whole years…" the man sounds truly confounded at how you could have kept it hidden. Clearly he only knows the cover up and not the truth. That made sense. The company would want to keep the secret buried as deep as possible.

"I'm sorry. I never wanted to...deceive anyone. I really loved my job." Your voice turns small, but you manage to keep back tears and maintain a little of your dignity.

"Listen, if it were up to me, I wouldn't care. You're great at your job, and you've always been an asset to the team, at least until recently. But it is in your contract, and it is company policy, so my hands are tied. This comes from the higher ups." At least he's honest as he tries to shift the blame to someone else.

You say nothing. You understand. You're being punished and what's more, you need to be made an example of. "Your stuff was packed up last week," he says after you remain silent, and he points to the box with your name on it.

"I suppose it's time to go then?" Truthfully, you're desperate to get out of his office so you don't have to maintain your composure anymore.

"You have fifteen minutes to exit the building, in case there's anyone you want to say goodbye to."

There isn't. A year ago, when you were on good terms with all your colleagues, you might have, but now you don't want to see their faces and hear their whispers as you go. Awkwardly you pick up the box, trying to adjust it against your bump.

Jimin is still waiting outside the office with a guilty expression on his soft features. He's quick to grab the box from you as you struggle with it.

"Did they really just fire you?" He questions after you close the door. You merely nod. "I'll try to talk to them, see if you can come back."

You shake your head. "It's over Jimin. I have to go home." You reach to take the box, but he pulls it out of your reach and perches it on his outside hip. Then he takes out his phone and sends off a quick message before shoving his phone back in his pocket and following you into the elevator.

Once you're back in the garage, Jimin walks you to his car and places your box in his trunk.

"Can you drive?" He asks calmly, standing outside the car with you.

"I'll just take a cab," you tell him.

"Nonsense. Just take my car. I'll have one of the guys drop me off at your place later and I'll drive it home." You raise your eyebrows at him, questioning if he really wants you to drive his expensive car, but he only responds by pressing the keys into your palm. "Wait," he tells you before you can walk over to the driver's side.

"Why?"

Just then the elevator dings and Jeongguk walks toward you, his makeup already done.

"What's going on? You're late," Jeongguk scolds Jimin, as if his tardiness is even a surprise.

"They just fired Y/N," Jimin informs him.

Jeongguk runs his hand through his hair, which would surely make the stylist groan. "Shit. Y/N, I'm so sorry."

You want to roll your eyes at him and remind him that you told him before the two of you hooked up that you couldn't because of the company. But it's all just too much effort and all you really want at the moment is to go home and wallow over a situation that has become so entirely out of your control.

"So, here's the thing. I want Y/N to move in with me," Jimin says suddenly.

"What?" You and Jeongguk ask in unison, both equally astonished.

"I know that sounds crazy, but Jeongguk, even you said that she shouldn't stay there. It's too small for you and the baby, and I really don't think we need to fight for the hundredth time about those stairs. Once the baby comes, it will make it easier for Jeongguk to spend time with the baby and nothing will look suspicious." It all sounds perfectly reasonable, but that doesn't make you like it.

"Why doesn't she just come live with me?" Jeongguk offers.

"Because I'm her boyfriend," Jimin counters. Jeongguk gives him an inquisitive look with one eyebrow raised, but you don't notice.

"Once again, do I get any say in this?" If you weren't so tired already you might yell.

Jimin turns to look at your face and takes a step closer. "Y/N, I know that it must feel like one more blow to your independence, but think about Mochi. Do you really want to struggle that hard just to prove a point to yourself?"

"Maybe I do!" You fire back. "God, it's like I'm just a baby oven to you or something. It's all about the baby? What about me? How much of my life are you willing to take from me?" The composure you've been holding onto by your teeth finally cracks.

Jimin sighs, feeling truly regretful for the position he's put you in. He knows deep down that if he hadn't forced his way into your life then you might still have a chance to hold on to the parts of it you loved so much. On the other hand maybe you'd be in more trouble. There's no way for him to know. He can only try to help.

His soft eyes meet yours as he rests his hands on your shoulders. "Y/N, I know it feels like you're losing a lot and I don't blame you for being upset. I don't even blame you if you hate me for it. Look, if you're really mad at me, I won't even stay there. I'll go back to the dorms and you can stay there by yourself. I just want to make sure you're safe. It isn't only about the baby."

There's something about when Jimin gazes at you like that that completely melts your will. You fucking hate it. Your shoulders slump in resignation because it's no use fighting him.

The little bastard smiles weakly at you. "Go home and pack your things, but don't work too hard, okay. There's no rush. Just be sure you have some things to take with you tonight." His hands rub into your shoulders and you almost feel soothed.

"Fine," you grumble, but let him pull you into a gentle hug and tell you everything will be alright before he lets you go.

When you arrive at your apartment you climb the stairs very carefully until you reach your door. Inside, the lonely space feels almost foreign to you. You've spent countless nights alone here in the past few years. And it isn't as if you didn't have alone time while you were at Jimin's. It's like your loneliness has painted the walls here, like the smell of it has seeped into the carpets. You wonder if the next tenants will be able to smell it. Maybe leaving won't be so hard after all. Sure, you felt bitter for losing, but when you look around at what you're giving up, it's easy to realize that it wasn't much anyway.

You're not quick to rush into packing, though. You don't have that much anyway, and you're sure you deserve a good cry first. You've been holding back for a whole hour, so as soon as you sink into your couch you let it go. There's no one to disturb anyway, no one to hear you but Mochi. When you think of the ways you're failing your child you let those tears flow too. You'd truly believed months ago that you could do this all alone, and even though you know involving the guys in your lives will be best for your baby, you can't help feeling that you're not the strong mother they need after all. But you promise to put your pride away for their sake anyway.

"I wouldn't do any of this if I didn't love you," you promise to your belly as your tears continue to fall.

You let yourself wallow on your couch until lunch time, when you finally drag yourself up to make lunch for you and Mochi, only to realize you have no fresh food in the house, most of the vegetables you had last week having spoiled in your absence. Minutes later as you're scrolling through your phone for take out to order, a knock comes to your door. Of course, Jimin didn't forget about you, having your food delivered to the apartment instead of your office. Honestly his obsessive way of caring for you might be creepy if it wasn't so touching and ultimately very helpful. He seemed to always anticipate your needs. A new wave of guilt washes over you as you realize how ungrateful you might appear to him.

After lunch you begin to pack your things away, and you are right. It doesn't take you long. Your wardrobe is small, fitting easily in your two suitcases. Your kitchen is packed away easily into a few boxes that have been sitting in one corner of your apartment for a rainy day that finally came, and you decide you'll take it with you because you know Jimin has almost nothing in his kitchen in the form of food or pots to cook it in. Lastly is your small collection of books and movies and a few knick knacks that you own. With breaks and a short nap in between so you don't tire yourself too much, you're just finishing when you receive a text from Jimin saying that they're on their way. You assume he means him and Jeongguk, so you're surprised when he arrives a little past nine with Hoseok and Taehyung too.

"What can we help with?" Taehyung offers immediately and enthusiastically, as if he isn't tired after the hours of rehearsal they had after their photo shoot.

"Um, I guess just take these down to the car," you shrug.

"This is it?" Taehyung questions, looking around and the fairly small collection of boxes. You simply nod.

"My whole wardrobe…" Hoseok starts.

"Wouldn't fit in this entire apartment," Jeongguk finishes with a shake of his head.

"No it wouldn't, Jeonggukkie," Hoseok smiles brightly.

Without a word, Jimin merely picks up your suitcases to take down to his car.

"Oh, Jimin," Hoseok says flirtatiously as Jimin's muscles flex, lifting the cases. "Oh, so strong Jimin-ah."

"Shut up, Hobi hyung," Jimin mutters, trying to hide the blush that always creeps onto his cheeks when his hyung behaves like this. It's something you've witnessed countless times, both in person and through the screen as you've watched BTS over so many years. You're secretly relieved that it's such a natural part of their interaction that you won't have to miss it.

You wait patiently as they each pick up some of your belongings and carry them down the stairs to their cars.

"Is there anything else?" Jimin asks, trying to hide the way his breathing has become labored.

You shake your head. "Just the furniture, but there's really no place for it at your apartment so I'll just have someone pick it up to be donated," you shrug.

"Are you sure? If there's something you want, I'll make room for it." Jimin's being sweet, wanting to make sure you're comfortable, but you have no particular attachment to these things and you let them go with a shake of your head.

"Are you ready to go then?" Jimin asks.

"Can I just have a minute?" You request. It sounds dumb to say you want to say goodbye to the place, so you keep that bit to yourself.

"We'll get a head start to your place," Taehyung says to Jimin and the other three boys leave you two alone. Jimin turns to leave as well, since you'll be driving your own car to his apartment but your voice stops him.

"Will you stay?" You ask quietly, reaching a hand out for his arm. Of course he nods and stands silently by your side as you look around the barren place. "I don't want you to think I'm ungrateful, Jimin. I know you're saving us. It just hurts that...this is the last thing I'll ever have that was just mine, pathetic as it is… as I am." You wrap your hands under your growing belly. "Mochi will be with us soon, and everything is going to change forever. And I'm happy and excited, but I'm nervous, too," you admit.

"I don't want you to feel like I'm saving you, Y/N. That's not why I'm doing this." He looks at the worry coloring your features and he can't fight the urge to hold you. His hug provides you with comfort you'd been needing all day long and didn't even know it. "I know that you could do this by yourself, if you had to, but I desperately want you not to have to. You deserve better than that. I'm sure it's not how you pictured your life going, and I'm not the guy you want. But I can at least try to offer you the best I can."

You want to argue, but you don't know what to say. You give him a final squeeze and shuffle out of his embrace so you can grab your purse and your keys and lead Jimin out of your apartment for the last time.

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mikauzoran · 3 years

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Marichat/Adrienette: Serendipity: Fifty Marichat and Adrienette Kisses: Kiss Fifty

Read it on AO3: Serendipity: Fifty Marichat and Adrienette Kisses: ...out of love.

“Stop moving around so much,” Plagg grumbled as he snuggled up against the crook of Adrien’s neck.

“Leave him alone,” Trixx admonished groggily, burrowing further into the nest he’d made out of Adrien’s hair. “He’s got a lot on his mind; it’s no wonder he can’t sleep.”

“Thinking about the wedding tomorrow and how you’re going to smooch the love of your life in front of all of your friends and family?” Plagg snickered, giving Adrien’s shoulder a playful nip.

“Thinking about how Marinette is making the biggest mistake of her life,” Adrien snorted, twisting his engagement ring round and round on his finger, watching the EKG heartbeat-like line as it dipped and soared around the center of the band.

“Don’t say that,” Plagg commanded, flying up to stare Adrien down with a scowl.

Adrien shrugged, avoiding Plagg’s gaze. He pulled off the ring and looked at the inscription on the inside of the band: Home. Love. Family. Forever.

“She could do better,” he muttered.

“But she picked you,” Trixx reminded softly, petting Adrien’s hair.

“You’re just psyching yourself out,” Plagg diagnosed. “Stop fretting, Kid. Go to sleep, and things will look brighter in the morning. You’ll marry your girl, have a big party with lots of tasty food, and everything will be alright.”

Adrien hummed noncommittally in response, closing his eyes in order to make another attempt.

Fifteen minutes later, when Adrien was still tossing and turning, Plagg gave a resigned sigh. “Okay. Clearly, this isn’t working. Let’s go for a run and burn off some of your nerves.”

Adrien gave a mirthless chuckle, turning onto his side to gaze at Plagg melancholically. “Man, I must be pretty bad if you’re volunteering your services so willingly.”

Plagg rolled his eyes, waving away the suggestion. “You’re just driving me nuts, and I want to get some sleep. Think of this as a wedding present.”

“Plagg’s really a big softie,” Trixx chortled, tail flicking mischievously. “He just doesn’t want anyone to know, so he puts on the obnoxious, slothful act.”

“Hush, you,” Plagg hissed, his own tail giving an annoyed twitch. “There’s no acting about my sloth. I really am this lazy, thank you very much.”

“I’d believe it,” Adrien snickered, the laughter breaking through his glum mood. “All right. Let’s go for a run. I guess it can’t hurt anything. Plagg, transform me.”

He spent the first ten minutes or so of his run aimlessly leaping from rooftop to rooftop, dodging antennas and hopping over chimney stacks, seeing how fast he could go in an attempt to burn off some energy and tire himself out.

He soon got bored of that, however, and decided to make his way to the Eiffel Tower, a site of various special moments including the time five years prior when Marinette had arranged a picnic and told him that she loved him for the first time.

He bounded to the top of the tower, flying from girder to steel girder until he found himself at the pinnacle of the monument.

Surprisingly, he wasn’t alone.

Marinette’s eyes widened at her partner’s unexpected arrival, but then a warm smile stretched across her lips and all the way up to her eyes. “Good evening, Chaton. What a lovely coincidence meeting you here.”

“Likewise, My Ladylove,” he chuckled, giving her a supernova grin in return. “Though, I think it’s more morning than evening at this point.”

She shrugged, motioning for him to join her.

“Aren’t you cold?” he couldn’t help but ask as he came to stand beside her at the railing, observing her thin, cotton pyjamas and little cardigan that couldn’t be keeping out the slightly chilly breeze. “It’s kind of nippy up here.”

Marinette shook her head as she gazed out at the city sprawling before her. “I like it, actually. It makes me feel alert. I won’t stay up here untransformed long, though, so don’t worry.”

He slipped his arm around her, pulling her into his side to share a little of his warmth. Despite what she said, he could see her beginning to shiver.

“Do you mind me asking what a pretty girl like you is doing all by your lonesome in a place like this at this time of night, or is that being too forward?” he inquired playfully, giving his eyebrows a waggle.

Lightly, she slapped his arm, shaking her head. “I couldn’t sleep. I just had a lot on my mind, so…”

“…Like…what?” he tentatively pressed, the teasing tone gone from his voice now as he wondered if her head was filled with worries like his.

She shrugged. “How everything’s going to be different after tomorrow and how I don’t think I’m ready. Like…we’ll be officially moving in together, and what if the kitchen faucet starts leaking?”

Chat blinked and began to open his mouth to tell her that the building supervisor took care of upkeep and things like that, but she spoke again before he could, her worries snowballing and carrying her away with them.

“I don’t know how to fix a leaky faucet,” she reported anxiously. “I know you call someone, but Maman and Papá are always the ones to arrange for things like that, and I don’t even know how they find the person, so…and there’s grocery shopping and paying bills and keeping the apartment tidy and making all of our own meals and starting a family, and what am I going to do if the kids get sick?” she gasped as if suddenly realizing that this was an important issue that she had failed to attend to.

Chat had to smile at her penchant to get way ahead of herself.

“Don’t worry, Princess,” he cooed, leaning in to press a comforting kiss to the outer shell of her ear. “We’ll figure it out. I mean, we could always call your parents if we have questions, but I’ve been living on my own for almost four years now, and I haven’t died yet, so…I think, whatever comes our way, we can take it on together. We’ve proven ourselves to be a great team over and over again. This is just one more thing where we’ll have to pool our strengths and figure it out together…right?”

Slowly, she started to nod as she absorbed his words.

Her worry receded as she called to mind all the other times they seemed to be facing down unbeatable odds together. They had always made it out so long as they fought side to side, so why should surviving adulthood be any different?

“You’re right,” she realized, her easy smile coming back as she leaned into him, wrapping her arms around his torso. “We can do this…. Thanks for talking me down.”

“Any time you need it,” he promised, catching the top of her head in a quick, affectionate kiss.

There was a comfortable moment where they stood there together, looking out at their city and enjoying each other’s solid, grounding presence, before Chat Noir tentatively spoke up.

“…Want to come back to the apartment with me and snuggle?” he inquired sheepishly, a light pink blush peeking out from underneath his mask and coloring his cheeks. “I don’t want you to go, but I don’t want to keep you out either,” he confessed. “I know it’s the middle of summer, but the breeze really is chilly up here, and I don’t want you getting sick.”

“Alright,” she chuckled, easily giving in. “I don’t really feel like going our separate ways either. Carry me? For old times’ sake?” She gazed up at him, batting her eyelashes prettily.

He laughed as he effortlessly scooped her up. “As my Princess commands.”

She held on tight as he bounced back across the rooftops towards the apartment that they would soon officially share.

He let them in through his bedroom window and set her down on the bed, releasing his transformation as he attacked her neck with playful kisses.

Marinette giggled and squirmed as his nips and licks tickled her.

He stopped before long and pushed himself up on his elbows to gaze down at her in adoration as her chest heaved in her attempt to catch her breath.

Her dazzling smile lit up the dim, moonlit room, and she reached up to play with his hair, brushing it out of his eyes and twisting it around her fingers.

She lifted her head to ghost her lips against his and then lowered back down onto the bed, laughing.

“What?” he wondered softly.

“I’m happy,” she explained, smiling wider.

“Me too,” he whispered, leaning in to nuzzle her ear.

“Good,” she hummed contentedly. “So…what were you doing out for a run? Couldn’t sleep?”

He stiffened, knowing she would scold him if she knew why he’d been worrying. “Yeah,” he replied cagily. “Just a lot of stuff on my mind. You know.”

She took his face in her hands to make him meet her eyes. “Anything I can help with?”

He shook his head, averting his gaze as best as he could. “Nah, not really. It’s just silly things. I’m just being silly.”

“It’s not silly if you’re worried about it,” she patiently reminded. “I mean, I was keeping myself up fretting about how to fix a leaky faucet and what to do if our future hamster gets sick, so…whatever you’re worrying about, it can’t be any more ridiculous than my worries. Talk to me. Let me see if I can help you like you helped me earlier. We are a team after all…right?”

How could he argue with that?

With a tired sigh, he turned to meet her gaze, confessing shamefacedly, “I was fretting about what a big mistake you’re making by marrying me.”

She blinked at him uncomprehendingly. “Wait. What? Adrien, what are you talking about?” Her eyes narrowed in concern as she stroked his face comfortingly.

“You could find someone better, Marinette,” he explained as if reluctant to inform her yet duty-bound to make sure she understood all of her options. “I’m sure there’s someone out there better suited to you, and I don’t want to trap you in this relationship with me knowing that—”

“—Adrien, stop,” she commanded gently, pushing them both up to sitting.

He looked at her searchingly. “But—”

“—No,” she firmly interrupted. “Okay. Maybe you’re right that some guy exists out there who would be completely perfect for me in every way, but you know what?”

He cocked his head to the side listening carefully.

“I don’t want him,” she declared resolutely. “I don’t want a perfect life with a perfect partner where everything is always easy and effortless.”

“You…don’t?” He blinked at her, baffled.

“I don’t,” she confirmed. “Adrien, one of the things I treasure most about our relationship is the hard parts, the times when we’ve really struggled to make it work, the things we’ve overcome together. I love that we’ve come together as a team time and again and that we’ve made it through and are still standing after all of that,” she stressed.

“That’s why I calmed down about all the stuff I was worried about when you reminded me that we’d take on whatever problems came up together. I believed you because we’ve gotten through apocalypses together before, so I know we can do it again. We’re tougher because of all the garbage we’ve been through,” she cooed squeezing his hand.

He squeezed back, unable to find his voice to reply.

“Why would I ever pick some seemingly perfect guy over you?” she continued to obliterate his fears, shaking her head at his ever having doubted. “They say you don’t really know a person until you’re buried up to your neck in crap together,” she chuckled at the memories, and he couldn’t help but grin at the past catastrophes that were now comic. “I know you, and you know me, and I know I can count on you no matter what. I wouldn’t trade our partnership for anything, Adrien.”

He nodded, seeing now how ridiculous his worries had been.

“You are the one I want…” She gave his hands another firm squeeze. “…rough edges and all…because your rough edges line up with mine, and I don’t think I could find anyone more perfect for me if I tried.”

He blinked back tears at that, completely overwhelmed by a raging cocktail of emotions. Far too many people had looked at him and declared him perfect without ever knowing about the dark, ugly parts inside of him. Yet, here she was, fully cognizant of the insecurities and the faults, declaring him perfect for her because of the ways in which he was broken.

“Maybe on the surface other people might look better,” she conceded, looking him full in the face and giving him a smile full of acceptance and love. “but you and I have been through fire together, and I know we can make it out on the other side in one piece, so…don’t doubt yourself. You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted fighting by my side and having my back…whether that’s battling akumas or changing diapers or paying the bills or succeeding in our careers. You’re the one I love, and you’re the one I want to marry, Adrien.”

With a wordless sob, he pulled her into him, squeezing her close and pulling her down onto the bed beside him so that he could bury his face in her neck.

She wrapped her arms around him, holding him together as he let it all out.

“Shh,” she coaxed. “It’s okay.”

He trembled, overcome by joy and relief and all-encompassing warmth.

“Did you like that little preview of my vows?” she chuckled fondly as she pet his hair.

“You’re going to make me cry tomorrow,” he choked, lifting his head to kiss her cheek. “Thank you.”

“Any time you need it,” she repeated his earlier promise, meaning it wholeheartedly. She knew he had always struggled with self-worth and didn’t always believe that he deserved love and good things, so she had sworn to herself always to build him up and support him.

“I’ll text Alya to remind Nino to have tissues on hand,” she added as an afterthought.

“Please,” he whimpered, loosening his hold on her to shift into a comfortable snuggling position. “I’m going to be a mess tomorrow.”

“You’ll still look gorgeous with tears and snot dripping down your face. Don’t worry,” she assured, breaking away to pull down the covers.

Reluctantly, he got up so that they could settle in for sleep.

Marinette arranged herself comfortably and then motioned for Adrien to snuggle in, resting his head on her shoulder, an arm and a leg draped lightly across her.

Fifteen minutes later, just when Marinette was starting to doze off, Adrien spoke in a timid, quiet voice.

“Are you sure you don’t have any regrets about never dating anyone else?”

His vulnerable tone banished the fog of sleep.

“I’m sure,” she responded decidedly. “I don’t need to date anyone else because I wouldn’t be able to fully be myself with anyone but you. You really know me, both sides of me, the good and the bad, so you’re the only one I can truly be the real me with. You’re not trapping me, Adrien; you’re setting me free. You were always right about revealing our identities. Being able to be myself around you without the masks and the secrets and the lies keeps me sane. Knowing that my partner really gets it makes all the stress and the strain bearable…and I wouldn’t have that with anyone but you. Go to sleep, My Love. You’re stuck with me.”

“Okay,” he chuckled softly, leaning in for a gentle, reassuring kiss. “I’d be overjoyed to be stuck with you for many, many years to come.”

“Same,” she hummed happily, nuzzling his hair and running her hand up and down his back soothingly until they both drifted off to sleep.

The End

#Adrinette #Adrienette #Marichat #Miraculous Ladybug #Miraculous Ladybug Fanfiction #Adrien Agreste #Chat Noir #Marinette Dupain-Cheng #Plagg #Trixx #Kissing #Fluff #Hurt/Comfort #Writing Prompts #Mikau's Writings #Serendipity: Fifty Marichat and Adrienette Kisses

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minyoongiest · 3 years

Text

Positions || KNJ (M)

• pairing: Namjoon x reader

• rating: MA/18+

• type/genre: smut, fluff, multichapter, idol!au, established relationship, nurse!reader/single mom!reader/stylist!reader

• word count: 5.7k

• summary: After a long day working at the hospital in Seoul, you’re ready to spend some alone time with your man, and since your daughter is staying with her aunt for the night, Namjoon has some ideas for how to work off the stress of your day.

• contains: explicit language, explicit sexual content, oral (both receiving, not simultaneously), vaginal sex, multiple sex positions, multiple orgasms, creampie

• note: a commission for K. Thank you so much! I loved doing this, and I hope you like it!

(translations are at the end)

|| ao3 ||

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As soon as I shut the door to my car, I let out a sigh of relief. I like my job. (I like more that it pays my bills.) But no matter how much I like it, being on my feet all day and trying to do a million things at once so patients are taken care of and the doctors and my supervisors are happy is exhausting. I am so glad to be off and that I don’t have another shift for forty-eight hours because I need a break.

Checking my face in the sun visor mirror, I’m pleased to find my eye makeup is still intact. I was pretty sure by this time I’d look like as haggard as I feel, but my eyeliner is still perfectly winged, and my mascara isn’t even smudged. Tilting the mirror, I turn my neck to check my hair. It’s in a tied back for function, but practicality doesn’t trump style. Not for me, which is why it’s sleek and straight rather than just haphazardly thrown into a ponytail.

“Time to go home and get out of these scrubs,” I murmur, starting my car.

My phone rings as I’m pulling out of the parking garage, and my heart flutters when I see his name on my car screen. I use the button on the steering wheel to answer.

“Hey, I’m just leaving the hospital.”

“Oh, good. Are you on your way to pick up my angel?”

“Actually, I have two days off, so my sister is picking her up and keeping her for the night.”

His angel is my daughter from a previous relationship. Her dad split before she was born, so it was just me and her until Namjoon and I randomly matched on Tinder. At first, I wasn’t actually sure it was really, truly him because Namjoon being Namjoon it seemed like it was definitely a hoax, but I agreed to meet up with him just to see, and what was supposed to be a hookup turned into a fancy dinner date followed by a casual lunch date and then drinks at his apartment after work which turned into a naked sleepover…

That sort of went on for a few months, in which I introduced him to my daughter through pictures and stories, and then they met in person, which was exciting and nerve-wracking for me, but she adores him, and he adores her. So on the night of our sixth month anniversary when he asked how I felt about us moving in with him, there wasn’t much for me to think about.

“Oh,” he says softly. “So, we’re alone for the night?”

“Yes.”

“And you don’t have to be up for work?”

“No.” I bite my lip as I stop at a red light and flip on my turn signal. “I do have to go get her before noon though, so I can’t be in bed all day.”

“That’s okay,” he answers quickly. “I have a schedule before that, so I’ll be up.”

“Are you still at the studio?”

“Yeah. I want to get a few more things recorded before I head home. Do you want me to pick up takeout on my way?”

“That would be great. I have some stuff to do around the house, and I had an email about a styling job I want to look into, so that works for me.”

“Okay. I’ll see you at home. Later, baby.”

“Bye.”

He hangs up, and my phone switches to a Spotify playlist. As I drive the last few miles, I do a mental rundown of the things I need to get done before he gets home. In addition to looking into the styling contract, I want to get the dishes in the sink washed first and then cut up the fresh fruit in the fridge for my girl’s lunches next week, and if I have time go ahead and fold some of the clean laundry sitting in the basket in the laundry room.

The actual first thing I do when I walk into the apartment is take off my scrubs and hop into she shower to wash off my day, literally, since I work in healthcare. When I get out, I pull on a pair of sweatpants and a tank top before I go to the kitchen to start loading the dishwasher. While it’s running, I do the fruit which isn’t my favorite thing to do since it gets boring, but it’s so much easier to pack lunches when the fruit is done and ready to grab from the fridge.

Finally, I settle down on the couch with a glass of champagne and my computer to go over the details of the styling job. Since I already knew it would require the most of my time I have before Namjoon gets home, I saved it for last. After I skim the entire email, I take another sip of my drink before setting my glass aside and scrolling back up to the details that pique my interest—what designers their looking for, what the concept of the style is, and how soon they need it done. If those things work for me, the next thing I’ll look at is compensation, but I have to be interested enough to want the job first.

“Gucci…Balenciaga…Dior…” I mutter to myself as I make notes in a separate window on my computer.

As I look slowly through the email again, I’m thinking of what connections I have with which designers and if I can put something together. Before I had my kid and went back to school to be a nurse to support her, this is what I did. During that time, I met a lot of people in the industry, so I know someone pretty much everywhere.

“Oh, if that’s the concept…” I close my eyes for a second to picture different pieces from different collections.

“Dior.”

As soon as I say it, my phone starts to ring, making me jump. I see my daughter’s face on the screen and realize how late it is. She must be going to bed.

“Hey babe,” I answer, closing my laptop and setting it aside.

“Hi, Mommy.”

“Are you having fun at your sleepover?”

“Yes, Mommy. We made cookies and then we went outside and then we had pizza and played games and then we watched Rapunzel and had ice cream.”

“Wow. That’s a lot of things.”

And a lot of sugar. I’m not mad at my sister. She can spoil her if she wants. I’m just surprised she’d do that to herself knowing my kid is going to be bouncing off the walls until she crashes.

“Mommy, when are you coming to get me?”

I sigh and ignore the way my heart gets all soft. “Tomorrow at lunch time.”

“Okay, Mommy…” I can hear her frown, and I hate it.

“Do you have your pillow?” I stand and start to check her bedroom. If she doesn’t have it, she won’t sleep, and as much as I want a night to myself, I also need my kid to sleep.

“Yes, Mommy, and my pajamas.”

“Oh good.”

I start to ask her another question when I hear the door open, and I turn to look as Namjoon comes in holding a paper sack with our takeout order.

“Hey, baby,” he says quietly, his stupidly pretty face splitting into a grin.

Fuck. Those damn dimples. I can’t.

I see his eyes go to the phone in my hand before he asks, “Who are you talking to?”

“JOONIE!”

I jerk the phone away from my ear as my daughter shrieks into it.

“Oh, let me talk to her,” he says as he rushes to put the food down on the bar top and hurries over to me.

I hand him the phone and watch as he lifts it to his ear.

“How’s my angel tonight?” he asks gently, sitting down on the arm of the couch. “Oh really? … Well that’s good. Did you have fun at school?”

I press my lips together as I wander over to the food and start pulling things out of the bag.

“Well, maybe Monday it’ll be easier,” he says quietly. “Okay?”

He laughs softly, and I can’t help but look over at him. God, he really loves my baby.

“Goodnight, angel,” he whispers. “Do you want to tell your mom goodnight? … Okay, I’ll tell her.”

He hangs up, and I pretend I wasn’t spying as I set out the rest of the food.

“She said she misses you,” his low voice rumbles into my ear as he comes up behind me, his arm sliding around my waist.

“She’ll be okay.”

“She also told me to kiss you goodnight for her,” he says softer.

“Oh yeah?” I tilt my head back to look at him.

“Mmhmm.” He leans down a few inches and his lips brush mine, a pleasant shiver running down my spine.

Damn those soft lips. Why do they feel so good?

“I don’t think that’s the goodnight kiss she meant,” I whisper.

“Oh, you want another one?”

He smirks and leans down to kiss my cheek, his arms squeezing tight around my stomach.

“Quit. Quit!” I pull away. “We need to eat still.”

“Hmm. Okay, but I’m coming back to this later.”

“Sounds good to me,” I mumble as he walks around the counter to the fridge where he grabs a beer.

“What do you want to drink?” He glances over his shoulder at me.

I sort of finished the champagne already, so I shrug and say, “I’ll have what you’re having.”

“Cool. Do you want your own or some of mine?”

“Some of yours is fine.”

He nods, and I wait for him to grab his food and head to the couch before I follow him, setting mine on the coffee table while I get comfortable before I reach for it again.

Namjoon talks to me while he eats. About anything. About everything. He tells me about work (at least vaguely), about what memes the members are talking about in the group chat, about changing his hair color… Aside from the occasional comment, I eat and listen to him. I could say more, but just listening to him talk makes me happy.

When we’re finished, he gathers up our trash and then decides to take the bag out because it’s too full to close the trash can. While he’s gone, I go to empty the dishwasher. I mean, normally, I would leave it especially since we’re alone for the night which is rare and usually means something very naughty and very fun is going to happen, but the cabinet has literally no plates or cups in it, and I don’t want to forget and have to rush to do them later. Plus, I have a bunch of nervous energy, and I need to do something until he gets back.

The top rack is empty and I’m halfway through the bottom rack when Joon comes into the kitchen.

“I figured you’d be in the bedroom,” he says in a low tone.

“I was killing time.” I shrug. “And now that I started I might as well finish.”

“Let me help you.”

He reaches down and grabs the rest of the plates and moves behind me, reaching over my head toward the cabinet, so close his chest touches my back.

Which is when I feel it.

Feel him.

Thick and hard and pressed against my ass.

I suck in a breath and bite my lip.

“Baby, you okay?”

“Fuck the dishes,” I whisper.

“What?”

Turning around carefully, still pinned between him and the counter, I look up at him, while at the same time sliding my hand down between us, cupping his firm bulge.

He winces, and I see his eyes flash.

“I want this,” I murmur as I give it the faintest squeeze.

He grits his teeth and grabs onto the counter next to my hip.

“Shit,” he mutters.

I start to ask what that means when suddenly he grabs my waist and lifts me onto the counter.

“What are you doing?” I whisper.

“You started this,” he says roughly as his eyes darken with arousal and he steps between my thighs, reaching for the waistband of my pants.

“Wait, right now?” My voice gets higher, and I bite my lip.

“I’m starting right now.”

I don’t get to ask what that means because his hands start pulling on my sweats and I almost slide off the counter before I reach back and push up on my wrists so they’ll slide off.

My panties go with them.

Oh God. My bare ass is on my kitchen counter. And Namjoon is between my knees. Cool air glides over my exposed pussy and I bite my lip, fighting a whimper.

“Mmm.” Namjoon’s eyes travel over me, landing on the now-pulsing place between my thighs.

Instinctively, I try to close my legs, but his hips are in the way.

“Don’t hide from me,” he says softly, his fingers trailing over my skin, from my knee toward my hip, along my inner thigh. I stop breathing as the edge of his fingertip traces the outside of my lower lips.

He leans closer, bending so his face is right there. My hands grip the edge of the counter tightly as a rush of wet saturates between my legs.

“I think I want dessert now,” Namjoon says softly as he straightens.

“What?” I blink.

I—He just—I thought we were going to—

All of the sudden he drops to his knees, and my spine goes rigid. He moves closer to the counter, his large hands on my legs, his eyes on my pussy. He pauses, and my eyelids flutter closed. I try not to moan as he exhales, a warm stream of air hitting directly against wet slit.

“Joon…” I swallow. “What are you–”

“Eating,” he rumbles, his mouth brushing against me as he says it.

My back arches instantly as his tongue dips in between my lips and runs the length of me.

“Namjoon,” I gasp as his large hands slide under my thighs, lifting them, pulling them apart as he tilts his head and plants a gentle kiss right there.

He kisses again. Harder.

And then he starts sucking.

First on one side. Then the other. And slowly from the front to the back. My back arches, forcing me further into his mouth, and I moan loudly. Without missing a beat, he tilts his head and sucks deep, his tongue darting out again, teasing me. I swear under my breath and one of my hands slides down into his hair.

His eyes lift to mine, and I feel the heat of them where his thumbs are slowly pulling me open. He smirks, and I feel it in my nipples, which tighten painfully right before he lowers his head again, his soft lips rubbing over my throbbing ones before the flat of his tongue laps them, the tip flicking across my clit.

“Son of a bitch,” I whisper.

He laughs against me, and I swear I almost come. Except he stops.

“Namjoon, what are you waiting–”

I choke on my question when he suddenly sucks hard, his teeth grazing my lips before his fingers pull me open and he tongue drives inside.

I swallow a scream as my head flies back as he fucks me with his mouth. Sucking and licking and his tongue moving in and out of me. He quickly adds two of his long ass fingers, which only makes me crazier. My hand on the edge of the counter is holding on so tight it might be cutting into my palm. The other is fisting his hair, my thighs clamped around his face as he devours me.

He grunts against me, and I whimper at the sensation. I’m so close I could cry.

“Joon,” I plead softly. “I want… I want to–”

One of his thumbs rolls over my swollen clit at the same time his tongue and fingers thrust deep. I come instantly, exploding in his mouth as I fall back on my elbows, moaning his name. His hands move to my ass, pulling it off the edge of the counter and against his face as he continues to suck and lick my wildly spasming pussy. When I come down, his tongue runs along my slit one last time before he puts my bare ass back on the counter and climbs to his feet.

“I can’t feel my legs,” I whisper as he rests his hand by my hip, leaning in to kiss me.

“Mmm.” He smirks against my mouth, and I realize I can taste myself on his lips.

I get wet instantly at the thought, and reach up to put my hands on his shoulders.

“I guess that means you’ll have to carry me to the bedroom,” I murmur.

He makes a low growling sound as his large hands yank my hips against his, my trembling legs instantly locking around his ass, as he lifts me off the counter and starts down the hall. My lips land on his neck (because how can I resist?), and I suck gently as my hands slide over his massive pecs down over his abs, toward his—

“Ah!” I gasp as my back hits the wall.

“You just came in my mouth,” he grunts into my ear as my hands pull at his belt. “And you’re still this horny?”

I can’t answer because his lips land on mine, pushing my head back against the wall, distracting me completely from unbuttoning his pants. I nip at his plump lower lip, and he grunts, taking control of the kiss. My lips part in surprise, and I whimper as his tongue slides over mine. My arm curls around the side of his neck, one of my hands driving into his messy hair. His fingers dig into my ass as he tilts his head to deepen the kiss even more.

He presses forward, pinning me completely to the wall, before his hands let me go. I let out a small scream, tearing my mouth from his, my hands going to his shoulders to keep from falling.

“Namjoon, what are you doing now?”

“Clothes,” he curses.

His fingers curl into the hem of my top, and I jerk as he yanks it over my head, leaving me completely naked.

“Better,” he whispers, his eyes traveling over my exposed skin with awe.

“The bedroom is so close,” I remind him, looping my arms around his neck and teasing the curve of his ear with my tongue.

He grunts and his hands return to my ass, lifting me higher, causing my boobs to bounce. I moan softly when my nipple grazes his lips.

“Bedroom,” he says softly.

“Yeah,” I tilt my head down and kiss the side of his jaw. “The faster the better.”

His soft lips press against my neck, and I quit breathing for a second as he moves us out of the living area. My eyes flutter closed as he begins sucking on my skin. Gently at first and then harder. My hand moves down again, over his chest and abs, zeroing in on his fly. I’m already naked, so my first priority is to even the playing field.

I get his zipper down and his teeth sink into my neck in surprise when my fingers brush against the feverish lump behind it.

“Shit,” he groans. “Let me get to the bed first,” he grunts. “If you keep that up, I’ll drop you.”

“Don’t you dare.”

I try to sound threatening, but it’s hard when his fingers are clenching at my bare ass, holding me tight to his hips, the bulge of his erection grazing against me. Instead it sounds weak and desperate. Which is exactly how I feel right now.

“Mm.”

He moves faster, his lips abandoning my neck as he pushes into the bedroom and throws me on the bed. A small cry leaves my throat, and I whirl around on all fours to look at him.

“What the hell, Namjoon?”

“’Bouta come in my pants,” he swears softly, reaching over his head to pull his shirt off with one hand.

“What?” I blink.

“Nothing,” he says as he swallows, tossing the shirt aside. “Come here.”

He stalks toward the bed, and I scrambled backward.

“Hey, whoa, slow down.”

“Slow down?” He stops at the edge of the mattress and raises a single eyebrow.

A jolt goes through my pussy, and I feel hot all over.

“You were all about going fast two seconds ago,” he says in a low tone.

“Well, yes, but you’re being really…”

“Horny?”

“Aggressive,” I whisper.

Fuck. It’s so hot.

Both his eyebrows rise, and I bite my lip.

“You want me to stop?”

“N-no…” I slide off my side of the bed and walk around the foot.

His eyes follow me, and then his body as he turns to face me when I stop in front of him.

“What are you doing?” He frowns in confusion.

“I just was thinking…” I reach down and unto the button of his pants. “You got dessert on the kitchen counter…”

A throb hits between my legs as I say it, and I clench my thighs together.

“Yeah, so?”

“Well, what about me?” I look up at him as I edge my fingers into the waistband of his pants. “I don’t get some?”

He opens his mouth and I slide my hands into his underwear, my fingertips instantly finding burning, turgid skin.

“Fuck,” he groans, his hands reaching out to grab my wrists. “Hold on.”

“I want to blow you,” I whisper.

“I guessed that.”

His face twists in pain, and for a second, I almost feel guilty.

“Let me sit down first.”

I pull my hands out and wait while he shoves his pants down and off and reaches for his underwear.

“I want to do that,” I pipe up, putting my hand on his shoulder.

“Oh?” His eyes flick up to mine, and I gently push his torso, urging him to sit.

His fine ass lowers to the mattress, and I slide my hands down his chest and abs and over his thighs as I get on my knees in front of him.

I reach for the band of his underwear and tug, squirming as his mammoth cock springs free. He hisses and his hand on the bed fists the sheets.

The longer I look at it the wetter I get. It’s not just big, it’s angry. Red with veins everywhere, the thickest one running up the underside. I swear I can see it throbbing. The head is visibly swollen with precum glistening at the slit. I’m a little surprised his zipper didn’t bust open trying to contain it.

I reach out to touch it, and he tenses.

“I’m not going to bite it,” I mumble.

He makes a low sound, and I put one hand on his thigh as I reach out with my other one and run my fingers from top to bottom.

God, it’s on fire.

The heat of it shoots straight from my fingertips to the aching spot between my legs.

“Ppalli-ga,” he grunts, and I know I have to move faster.

From how hard he is, I can tell he’s already close. It won’t take much for him to blow.

Moving closer, I bend my head and lick up one side. One of his hands lands on my head, and I immediately repeat the motion. His grip tightens, and I begin licking everywhere. It doesn’t take long before he’s ready. (Not to mention he’s leaking precum like crazy.) When I’m done licking him, I sit back to catch my breath.

Fuck, it’s thick. I always forget how sore my jaw is after I blow him. Probably because I enjoy it so much that I don’t care.

“Goddammit, baby, suck me,” he groans, and I look up to see his head thrown back and the veins in his neck popping.

Wetness floods between my legs, and I gasp, gripping his thigh tighter.

His hips come off the bed, and I jerk back to avoid being smacked in the face with his dick.

“Okay,” I murmur. “I’m starting.”

He nods, or rather, jerks his chin forward, and I lower head, the bulbous tip sliding between my lips.

“Oh my God,” he groans.

I suck slowly at first and then harder as I move up and down. I use my fingers to toy with his balls and to tease the base until I’m ready to take all of it.

I hold my breath as I tilt my head and open my mouth as wide as I can, forcing his massive length between my lips. My jaw pops, and I wince.

His fingers slide into my hair and grip tight as I start to slide up and all the way down again.

“What are you doing?” he grunts suddenly. “Stop. Stop.”

I do but only because he sounds worried.

“I want to do this,” I tell him instantly. “Don’t make me stop now.”

“I’m hurting you. I can feel it,” he murmurs, letting me go.

“Well stop feeling it.” I frown at him, straightening my spine. “All you should feel is orgasmic.”

“Baby–”

“Let me deep throat you, Namjoon. I want to make you feel good.”

He sighs, and I lick the tip of his cock again.

“It does feel good, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah,” he mutters. “It feels fucking amazing.”

“Then don’t stop me, okay?”

“Fine.” He leans back, presenting his big dick to me again. “Go ahead.”

Before he even has the whole word out, I have him in my mouth again. I have to figure out my breathing as I go, making sure to suck deep and not graze him with my teeth. I move faster and suck harder with every entrance, ignoring the way his tip feels ramming into the back of my throat.

He starts swearing softly. And then louder. And then all at once in a mixture of Korean and English. His hand goes back to my hair and holds tight as his hips start bucking into me.

He’s going to come soon. I’m certain of it. Bracing for his load, I continue to suck and lick at his thrusting cock.

Suddenly he pulls out, practically standing as he fists my hair and holds my head still where I can’t get my mouth on him.

“I’m gonna come,” he gasps, his raspy voice sending small vibrations through my whole body.

“Okay, so?” I ask hoarsely. “Let me swallow it.”

“Don’t wanna wait to get hard again,” he explains gruffly. “I want to come inside you but not in your mouth.”

“You have a long refractory period,” I remind him. “You could still fuck me even after I suck you dry.”

“Not this time,” he shakes his head, the veins in his neck still popping. “I’ve been thinking about this all day, and I have things I want to do before I come.”

“Can you last that long?” I ask softly, my eyebrows rising as I glance back at his swollen, wet cock.

I’ve gotten him off enough to know he’s at his absolute limit right now.

“I just need a minute to come down a little,” he says breathlessly. “Then I can keep going.”

“Mmm…okay.”

“Get up on the bed.”

I climb off of my knees slowly, ignoring the tiny bursts of pain in my knees as I crawl onto the mattress. He stands next to the bed, and I watch him inhale and exhale slowly as he regains control over his urge to come.

“Namjoon, if you need to finish, I can–”

“I got it,” he interrupts gruffly. “Lie down on you back for me.”

I blink as he starts to climb on the bed.

“Now, baby. Spread your legs.”

He’s still close, I realize, but he wants to do this anyway, that’s why he’s in such a hurry.

Quickly moving up the bed, I turn onto my back with my head in the pillows like he said. Before I can breathe, he’s on top of me, his giant pecs in my face, his fucking huge biceps on either side of my head.

“You ready for me?” he grunts softly, his fingers dragging through the wet between my legs even as he asks it.

I gasp instead of answering.

“Mm.” He nods, biting his lip. “That’s a yes.”

“Joon…”

“This is going to be rough,” he says quietly. “Can you handle that?”

“Yeah. I can handle—ah!”

My words dissolve into a sharp cry as he suddenly drives into me. My legs lock tight around his hips as I feel it—the fat tip, the thick shaft, his balls against my lips. All of it hot and pulsing and stretching me wide. My pussy squeezes around it, and I hiss his name like a swear word as my back bows off the bed.

“Fuck, your pussy is a miracle,” he groans.

“You’re so thick,” I moan at him. “A little warning next–”

He moves again. Pulling out and thrusting back in. I choke on my sentence and grab onto his broad shoulders. He keeps going, fast, rough just like he said, pounding into me. One of his hands slides around my thigh under my ass to hold me steady. His other slides inside to the front of my slit, his large thumb zeroing in on my clit which he begins rubbing furiously.

“Namjoon!”

I don’t even feel it building before I’m coming as he continues to growl and jerk against me. I’m not done when he pulls out.

“Wha-what are you–”

“Next position,” he gasps as he grabs my legs and flips me onto my belly.

“I’m still coming, Joon. Wait–”

He doesn’t. Instead, he hooks an arm under my hips and pulls them up, forcing my knees open with his own before he puts a hand on my back and gently pushes my cheek into the pillows.

“Oh God,” I whisper.

His other hand rests on my ass squeezing lightly before I feel him pushing into me again.

“Oh God!”

He slams back into my still-coming pussy, and I whimper into the pillow. It feels so good and so deep—even deeper than before.

“You okay?” he leans over me, his hand coming up to cup my breast. “Too much?”

“Don’t stop,” I murmur. “It’s too good.”

I hear him laugh in surprise, and I feel it in my nipples, which he’s doing a fabulous job toying with. Suddenly, he grabs my whole boob in his hand and starts rutting into me. My knees spread wider on their own and I grab onto the pillow with both hands, my mouth parted in a silent moan.

“Baby?”

“I’m coming,” I hiss. “Again. Harder this time.”

I squeal when he sits up suddenly taking me with him. I’m still full of him, straddling his thighs, which are resting on his heels as he continues to jerk into me, his hands on my chest holding me to him. I grab his wrists with both my hands without thinking. My head falls back on his shoulder, and I press my lips to his neck. My body feels exhausted and overstimulated and like I’ll never stop orgasming.

He grunts sharply, and I feel his hips tense.

“Come with me,” he whispers, his lips landing on my shoulder.

“I can’t,” I choke.

Or I am. I can’t even tell now.

“Just one more,” he bites out. “Now. Now!”

He drives up into me as he comes. My walls spasm at the hot fluid spurting inside me, and I gasp as I another orgasm hits below my belly, racing up my spine, down my aching legs and up into my nipples. He buries his face in my shoulder, and I struggle to catch my breath as I finally come down. He’s still coming even after I’m finished, probably because he kept bringing himself so close to an orgasm only to delay it again and again. When he finally relaxes, he lifts me off of him slowly, and I lie down on my stomach in the bed next to him.

“I need to clean up,” he says gruffly. “Clean you up too.”

I nod because I’m so exhausted I’m not sure I can speak. When he comes back with a rag, I roll onto my side and wince at the ache in my legs.

“What?” He frowns instantly. “Did I hurt you? I was too rough, wasn’t I? Fuck.”

“No.” I shake my head at him. “I really liked that.”

“Oh…” He blinks. “You did?”

“I came like four times or something,” I remind him. “I definitely liked it.”

“Well…good.”

He runs the rag between my legs and over my thighs, and when he walks away, I grab his pillow and pull it under my cheek.

“Are you going to sleep now?” he asks softly when he comes back.

“Mmm. I don’t know,” I whisper. “I could. You wore me out.”

“I was hoping to watch a little TV first.”

“Okay,” I mumble, “but body is a puddle, so, if we’re going to cuddle, you’re going to have to pick me up.”

He yanks on some sweat pants and climbs in bed beside me.

“I can read if you want to just go to sleep now,” he says quietly.

“Mm.”

“You have to sit up though while I put this shirt on you.”

“Why?” I yawn. “I can sleep naked.”

He clears his throat, and I watch his eyes skim over my body.

“Trust me,” he says hoarsely, “you need to put on this shirt.”

I bite my lip as he reaches over to help me into the oversized FG shirt. I collapse into his pillow again as soon as it’s on, the warm, soft fabric that smells like him making me even sleepier.

“Goodnight, baby,” he murmurs as he reaches over me to grab his book off the nightstand.

“Goodnight, Namjoon.”

My eyes flutter closed as I feel his soft lips press against my temple, and then I fall into a blissful, post-orgasmic sleep.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Translations:

Ppalli-ga - go fast

#networkbangtan #bangtanarmynet #hyunglinenetwork #bangtanhq #btswriterscollective #btsguild #houseofddaeng #namjoon x reader #rm x reader #bts fanfiction #my fic #bts fic #namjoon fic #bangtan fanfiction #namjoon fanfiction #my comms

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katherinemallory · 3 years

Text

#3 The departure

Hell is empty and all the previous chapters are here: #1 #2

I couldn’t believe I had overslept. When I looked at my alarm clock, it was a few minutes after 9 A.M., meaning I was nearly late to my medical.

Quick, I murmured to myself. I had less than half an hour to wash and dress up, so I didn’t have enough time to eat a proper breakfast.

When I was drinking my everyday cup of Earl Grey, I checked my phone just to notice one unread message. Damn, I thought, it could have woken me up, if my phone wasn’t on silent mode again... The text message has been sent from an unknown number:

Thanks for spending the evening with me. Now don’t let M scare you. Good luck, Kath.

The message amused me. So, he knows my phone number already, I thought, trying to remember if I ever gave it to him. No, I definitely didn’t. That’s the kind of things they teach you at the SIS: how to spy on a girl you like.

Quick, Kath, I kept repeating, as I tried to brush my hair. After a few minutes I was ready (thank God I’ve never worn any make-up... such a waste of time). I picked one of my black suits, grabbed my coat and ran outside.

I rapidly opened my car’s door - it was pretty cold for a December day in London - and I checked my look in the rear-view mirror. Not bad, I said out loud, as I started the engine. There were 10 minutes left until my medical. Step on it, Kath. Direction: MI6 Headquarters.

I’ve been driving as fast as I could, so naturally I caught the eye of a one younger male driver when we stopped on a red light. I didn’t mean to show off (I just wanted to arrive at the SIS as soon as possible), but the look on his face was quite satisfying.

But my mind was elsewhere. I’ve been still analyzing my date with James Bond... It went far better than I could expect and I had to admit that Bond had made a pretty good impression on me. Let’s sum it up: he’s reasonably older than me (to hell with my preferences, surely Bond was more suitable for a thirty-something woman just like me than a man twice older than her...), he’s witty (this is his greatest quality without a doubt...), he’s bloody handsome (honestly, I’m not very much into blondes... or am I?), he’s a true gentleman (so far he appears to be one - there are not many gentlemen left in this world)... And don’t forget about the charm...

When I finally arrived, I glanced at my watch: two minutes to 10 A.M. Perfection. As I passed by the guards and then took the elevator down for my meeting with Q, I continued to consider Bond as my future life partner.

Yeah, Bond seems to be nearly perfect except for... his womanizing and the fact that we work together. No, Kath, let’s be realistic: you could never be with someone who’s got a never-ending dating history... Not for real... And this service at the double-0 section thing... It also doesn’t augur well.

The amount of time I had spent thinking about Bond surprised me. Before the date I was able to resist the man, but now I wasn’t so sure anymore. Did I really fall for his charms? Damn. It felt really strange.

The elevator’s door opened. I’ve seen a vast "room" full of shelves and any kind of machinery you could think of. The walls were made of brick and the furniture was rather raddled. The "room" had no windows and there was pretty dark there.

A young-looking man approached me.

“Hello. You must be 002, M’s told me about the medical.”

He had short, dark hair, and in the room’s lighting his eyes seemed to be grey. Despite his deceiving appearance, I presumed he was older than me. He was wearing a brown corduroy-collared suit and a red tie, all making him look like someone who dresses elegantly, but only to such extent no one could say he doesn't care for the job. He was smiling.

“I’m your Quartermaster,” he continued as I didn’t react to his greeting. “Nice to meet you.”

“Hello, Q”, I replied. “Yes, I’m 002, but you can call me Kath if you wish,” I added politely.

“You know, Kath is not a bad idea,” he said, “I’m not a big fan of all this official stuff.” He paused for a while, glancing around the room as if he was looking for something. “Shall we get started?”

He picked up his glasses from one of the shelves and we went through a very long corridor. It turned out that Q took me to a small room with a single chair in the middle, and a few computers on the ground. There was also a desk and some lever arch files lying on the floor. I sat on the chair, ready for the upcoming instructions.

“I will have to ask you to take off your jacket,” said Q, “and roll up the right sleeve of your shirt.”

I did as requested while Q was looking through my files.

“It seems you’re fit as a fiddle.”

“That’s the job,” I quipped, but stopped smiling when I saw a machine that resembled a huge driller. Q was holding it in his right hand. “What is it?” I asked.

“Nano-technology. It allows us to monitor your movement anywhere,” he said and paused, looking into my eyes. “I’m afraid this will hurt a little...”

“It’s alright. Do it qui...”

I didn’t finish my sentence in time. I couldn't, because I felt a strong prick that made me dizzy.

“OUCH!” I yelled, and immediately I had a scowl on my face.

“I’m sorry, Kath. It’s all over now”, he said as he gently stroked my shoulder. Then he gave me a cotton swab. “Hold it there for a few minutes and follow me. It’s time for the more pleasant part.”

We went through another long corridor made of brick walls. After a few minutes, I had absolutely no idea where I was. I felt like I was lost in a some kind of labyrinth.

“Here we are”, Q announced when he unlocked some colossal metal door. He seemed to be excited when we stepped into another strange-looking room. There was nothing there but all kinds of wardrobes. Q opened one of them and chose a black box from the middle shelf with the note "002" written on it. “Open it”, he encouraged me, smiling.

“Wow!” I exclaimed. I’m sure I sounded like a little girl who was finally allowed to unwrap her Christmas present. “I *love* it!”

“Who wouldn’t?” asked Q, still smiling. “The Walther PPK/S 9 millimetre short. It’s been coded to your palm print, so only you can fire it.”

“Thanks, Q,” I said, still in delight. “Anything else?”

“No, that is all. It was nice to have met you. Good luck, Kath.”

There he was: standing in front of me, with his hands on his hips and a smile all over his face. Even though my mind was a mess at that time as I had many doubts about certain people (about *that* one person, to be more specific), I knew one thing for sure. Q is the most lovely guy of them all.

“See you later in January,” I replied and hesitated. “And, Q... have a wonderful Christmas.”

...

After the medical, I headed to the M’s office. The hallway on the last floor was full of people walking around and carrying some documents.

“Morning, Eve,” I said, while opening the first door. “Such a busy time of the year... Can I see M?”

It was really nice to hear her sweet, warm voice.

“Morning, Katherine. Just a second,” she replied and picked up the phone. “Sir, 002 is here.”

I noticed how patiently her eyes observed a little white light above the leather maroon door, with the phone still near her ear. When the light disappeared, Eve allowed me to come inside.

“Morning, sir,” I said and stopped by the door. I saw Mallory sitting in one of the leather armchairs next to this desk.

“Morning, 002,” he replied as he stood up to greet me. “Please, have a seat,” he said in his semi-friendly manner, but to me his words still sounded like an order.

I sat in front of him on a huge old sofa. The natural lighting made me focus on his clothing (again...). He was wearing a deep sky blue shirt and a dark grey suit trousers. His jacket was draped over the chair that was standing behind his desk. I tried to memorize his every move when he straightened his navy tie. He made sure the tie looked perfect, and then Mallory’s right hand landed on one of his braces. My supervisor looked surprisingly good for a brief appointment with his two double-0 agents.

“Very conscientious of you to check your e-mails, 002,” M said curtly and pointed to some documents that were lying on a coffee table. “Your medical record’s fine. Q has already assured me that you’re ready.”

He looked at me in a way that only a supervisor could look at one of his subordinates. I felt obliged to reply.

“Yes, sir, I’m ready.”

“Good,” he commented in his cold voice, and stood up as the maroon door opened suddenly. “002, meet 005.”

I turned my head and couldn’t believe my own eyes. What is more, I couldn’t accept my reaction to what I’ve just seen. My first thought has shocked me. A woman?

There was a slim female standing in front of me. She was probably a bit older than me, but it didn’t change the fact she was stunningly beautiful. Her light blonde hair was longer than mine - down to her shoulders - and she was wearing a black suit, just as me. I was surprised that I immediately started to compare myself to her.

She extended her hand.

“002,” she said, giving me a small, but warm smile. “I’m looking forward to working together.”

“005,” I replied, shaking her hand. “The feeling’s mutual.”

“Well, so don’t mind me,” taunted Mallory, clearly irritated by our short conversation. “Please join us, 005. We are about to start.”

005 sat next to me on the sofa. I usually didn’t get jealous of other women, no matter how good they looked like, but this time it felt a little weird. I wasn’t comfortable sitting in front of Mallory with a woman who was far more attractive than me, but luckily he didn’t seem to notice any changes in my behaviour. For him, we were just another pair of double-0s going on a mission together. He didn’t care about our looks. What interested him was how we would cooperate.

“You leave tomorrow for Geneva,” he stated, “and will remain there as long as necessary. Although I do *not* think you’ll need more than two weeks to finish the case,” his voice sounded more and more stern with each sentence. ”Your mission might turn out as incredibly dangerous, even though right now it appears just the opposite...”

Bond was right, I thought. M tried to scare us. Perhaps he just wanted to make sure we would take the mission seriously, but why the lecture? We knew everything we needed to know from the files.

I got distracted, while staring at Mallory’s hands going up and down his braces. I recognized he didn’t wear a wedding ring. Maybe he wasn’t married after all...?

Out of the blue, someone has cleared his throat. I glanced at Mallory’s face and then realized he was looking directly at me with those exceptionally green eyes.

“Are we clear about the rules, 002?” huffed Mallory. He sounded quite offended.

“Yes... sir,” I stammered.

He gave me a disapproving look and then resumed.

“Your liaison awaits you in your hotel in Geneva. He’s aware of your arrival... and I need hardly remind you that you’re expected to report daily.”

“Yes, sir,” said 005.

“That’s all for now,” announced Mallory as he stood up. He went up to his desk.

“Good luck.”

...

When we got out of the M’s office, Moneypenny wished us luck as well. 005 turned to me.

“Let’s meet at the airport. We’ll talk about everything tomorrow.”

“Seems reasonable,” I added. “The name’s Katherine, by the way.”

“See you later, Katherine. I’m Amanda,” she replied and left the room.

I stayed with Eve.

“You know Eve,” I struggled with words, “I would like to ask you something.”

“Ask anything you want,” she said, hiding her curiosity.

“Christmas are coming... and... I wonder...” I hesitated, “... if the double-0 section ever gave M a Christmas present?”

“No, I don’t think so,” she answered after a few seconds of silence. “At least not since I have been his secretary. The common opinion is that he wouldn’t like that.”

“And what do *you* think?” I asked in a provocative tone, suggesting my view on the matter is different.

“I think it wouldn’t hurt,” admitted Eve.

“Right, because I even have an idea...”

...

I came back home and started packing. I even looked through the case files again while sitting on my bed in my pyjamas. Time passed really quickly the next morning and I was sitting with Amanda on a plane to Switzerland before I knew it.

Our flight was quite pleasant. Amanda turned out to be a very kind companion and it didn’t take long for me to confide in her. I told her *everything* about my date with Bond. It wasn’t responsible at all - I should have known that as a secret agent - but I assume I just needed to vent to someone. We continued the conversation even when we arrived in our hotel in Geneva.

“... and you know, I have no idea what to do. I didn’t want anything from him and now I kept recalling the date and I miss his voice and...”

“Oh, I think you *do* know what you really want,” Amanda interrupted me.

“I do?”

“Yeah,” she said. “If you want my opinion, Bond is not the one you’re interested in.”

“How so?” I asked, still in shock. “I’ve told you every detail of our date. If I am not interested in him, then why I think about him all the time?”

“This has nothing to do with Bond,” Amanda said calmly as she continued to place her clothes in the wardrobe. “You’re a secret agent for God’s sake. You don’t have time for real love. That’s why you think about Bond that much - cause he gave you something you had missed for many months now, a *real* romantic interest.” She turned around and looked at me, “Even if it’s genuine from his perspective, don’t go for it now. You don’t love him. What you feel is temporary.”

I remained silent for a few seconds. Amanda has known absolutely nothing about my crush on Mallory, but she hit the nail on the head.

”You know what, Amanda? I’m going to wait just as you suggest. There’s no need to hurry. If it’s really going to happen, it will.”

“No need to thank me,” she said and started to laugh. “Would you mind if I went to the shower first?”

“No,” I replied. “I’ll report to M.”

I turned on our laptop and started typing:

We arrived at the hotel on time and met our liaison. Nothing suspicious so far, but we’ll keep our eyes open. We’ll look around the place and report again tomorrow.

Yours sincerely,

002.

I hesitated, not sure if I should add any Christmas wishes to my e-mail. No, Kath... remain professional, I thought. Mallory’s going to know we deeply care about him when he receives his gift from the double-0 section. He wouldn’t approve mixing up our private lives with our career lives.

Personally, I wouldn’t mind it... if you know what I mean... I couldn’t stop to think about Mallory since my departure, even though I have gone on a date with James Bond the day before... Bond was on my mind quite frequently in the recent hours, but deep inside I was aware of the fact that my attraction to him was purely physical. And I never followed physical instincts, apart from a very few my weak moments on a very few missions.

With Mallory... it was different. Obviously I’ve found him extremely attractive from the beginning, but that was not the main case here. My boss was so intimidating that I felt paralyzed every time I spent even a brief moment in his presence. But most importantly, I developed a high level of respect towards him. And there has been a recurring pattern in my life: when I respected a man for real, he would often become my fascination, and later on, my love interest.

By the evening I was sure I slowly began to fall in love with Mallory... who was my supervisor. Not a very responsible way to go into the double-0 section. I knew it was pretty stupid... I knew it was unthinkable to develop any kind of relationship with Mallory. It was even unthinkable to have a crush on him, but I couldn’t do anything about it.

I was never a Christmas enthusiast, but... for the first time in my life I felt that I would have loved to spend Christmas in London. I would have loved to see Mallory’s face when he opened his present from the double-0 section. I was sure that Eve was able to get what I suggested just on time, and I wondered if Mallory would want to know who came up with this idea...

I sent my e-mail and went to bed, hoping to have some dreams of Mallory that night.

***

To be continued.

#James Bond #Bond James Bond #Q #miss moneypenny #Gareth Mallory #M #fiction #fanfiction #katherine mallory #james bond fanfiction #002 #007 #mallory #merry christmas #merry christmas everyone

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crackedoutgiraffe · 4 years

Text

To the Moon and Back

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

A/N: Part 5

“Hey, hey calm down,” Spencer cooed.

“How am I supposed to calm down, Reid,” you snapped. You saw Hotch walking over to the two of you.

“Y/N, what happened?” Hotch asked with the same stoic face he always had.

“When we were at the principal's house he called her a-,” Reid looked around and lowered his voice so no one around could hear, “a fucking slut.”

“And now he slapped my ass,” you added. Hotch looked at Reid as if to tell him to scram, but Reid just looked at him pleading to let him stay.

“Reid,” Hotch firmly said. Reid nodded and left to go examine the crime scene with JJ and Prentiss.

“Hotch, I feel so belittled,” you admitted, nothing like that has ever happened to you before. You had been catcalled, but never groped.

“I’m going to go and talk to him and his supervisor,” He replied, hoping to make things better. “Do you want anyone to come and sit with you?”

“Can I just go back to the hotel?”

“Sure, I'll see you tomorrow morning,” He said remorsefully. You turned to walk away and head back the way you came, “And Y/N, you’re doing just fine here, there is no need to worry.” you flashed him a smile and continued on your way.

It felt nice to have received that praise, especially from your supervisor. As you exited the school, you felt the cool summer breeze flow through you. It ran through your hair and your clothes, it ran along your skin and made you shiver. It was nights like these that made you wish you were in high school again. Not having a single care in the world, driving through the night with your best friends, and blasting Stacy’s Mom through the speakers of your 2001 Toyota corolla.

The sky was clear and you could see all the stars. It reminded you of when you and your dad would sit on the bed of his truck and watch the stars. He always told you that if you were ever lost or confused, you could look up at the stars and they would tell you exactly where you were meant to be. The stars were the only thing keeping you connected to your father while you were traveling since you couldn’t visit his grave. His spirit was always in the stars though. The drive back to the hotel was boring, but you had connected your phone to the Bluetooth so you played Stacy’s Mom and opened the window. You got to your hotel room, took off your clothes and took a second shower making sure to scrub really well to get the filth of that detective out of your head. You got out of the shower and got dressed into your pajamas, turned the light off, and turned the TV on. It was so late you could watch the George Lopez show on Nickelodeon. You were half asleep when you heard a knock on your door. You dragged yourself out of bed and looked through the peephole, to see Dr. Spencer Reid standing at your door. You groaned at the thought of having anyone see you in this state, let alone Spencer.

You opened the door and headed back to your bed, “Come on in, Dr. Reid.”

“Sorry di- did I wake you up?” He asked, partly trembling.

“No, I’ve been up for a while,” you yawned while muting the TV.

“Oh, I just wanted to come and check in on you.”

“I’m fine, Reid, really.”

He just stood there looking at you like you were some helpless victim, “Can you not look at me like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like I’m some sort of victim,” you sighed.

“I’m sorry, I’ll stop,” he looked at the ground with remorse.

“Thank you,” you cuddled into your pillow and started to drift off to sleep. You didn’t want to fall asleep but you couldn’t help it.

Spencer’s POV

“Thank you,” she yawned. She cuddled into her pillow and it seemed like she was starting to fall asleep, I went to go sit in the chair in the corner. There was a blanket on the back of the chair, I grabbed it and put it on her sleeping body. There was no way I could leave her like that. I had no way to lock her door from the outside, and god knows what that detective will do if he gets in trouble with his supervisor. I accidentally fell asleep in the chair I was sitting in. A few hours later, someone was talking.

“Spencer, be careful,” The voice cried. I knew that voice. I opened my eyes to see Y/N squirming in her sleep. She looked helpless and scared.

“It’s ok, Y/N,” I calmly said, “I’m ok.” She seemed to stop squirming and settle down.

I tried to go back to sleep but thoughts of her swirled in my mind. She was dreaming about me. She cared about me, enough to yell for me and tell me to be careful. Reid, you’re crazy. You’re not a psychoanalyst. You don’t believe in dream theory. But this you couldn’t deny. She was calling for you. Finally, sleep caught up with me. My dreams were filled with thoughts of her.

Your POV

Your alarm woke you up with its heinous voice. You snuggled into the blanket that you’d never seen before. You looked around the room for any explanation for the new blanket on you. In the corner, you saw Spencer sleeping on the chair.

“Oh my god,” you whispered. You silently got out of bed, grabbed your blue pants, white shirt, and pink blazer, headed for the bathroom to change. You put your hair into a high ponytail and pulled out a few pieces of hair to frame your face. Your makeup was basic, nude sparkly eyeshadow, mascara, blush, and nude lipstick. When you exited the bathroom Reid was still asleep in the chair.

“Reid, it’s 6:30,” you whispered softly, while gently shaking him awake, “we have to meet Hotch at 7.” He started to open his eyes, he looked so sweet. His hair was a mess, and he was still wearing his clothes from yesterday, “Did you sleep well, pretty boy?”

“I did actually,” he said sitting up and rubbing his eyes. “You talk in your sleep, you know that?”

“I hope I didn’t say anything too embarrassing,” you chuckled. “You didn’t have to sleep in the chair, you could have slept in the bed.”

“I was quite comfortable actually.”

“That’s a lie, I’m going down to get breakfast. Go get changed.”

“Alright, enjoy your breakfast.” You grabbed your wallet, phone, badge, and gun and left.

Spencer’s POV

She walked out of the room and closed the door, leaving me with my thoughts. I had a job to do though and that started with getting ready and getting to the station on time. I left her room to see Morgan walking from his room to the elevator.

“Pretty boy,” he said, noticing the room you were walking out of, “busy night last night?”

“I don’t want to hear it, Morgan,” I sighed.

“I’m just saying,” he smirked, “she seems to like you.” He held his coffee cup as if to say cheers and walked away.

I turned away from the elevator and headed back to my room. I got changed, freshened up, and messed up my hair. Staring at myself in the mirror for a second I heard my phone ringing, I went to find it laying on the bed. I checked to see who was calling and it was another number I didn't recognize. “Hello?”

“Hello, I'm Vanessa Scartop with KCCI 8 news, I’m looking for a Dr. Spencer Reid,” charmed the voice on the other line.

“This is he,” I replied

“Good morning Dr. Reid, I was told I could direct any questions about the recent bombing to you.”

“No, ma’am, I think you're mistaken, have a good day,” I hung up the phone, why would she call me? I checked the time to see that it was 6:50, we had to meet Hotch at the station at 7. I ran out of the room grabbing my bag and coat on the way out. I ran to the elevator and rapidly hit the button for the first floor. I ran out of the hotel to see Y/N leaning on the hood of an SUV.

She looked up at me and smiled, “Jeez, what took you so long?”

“You could say I was a little distracted,” I struggled to say, I don’t run very often.\

“Hop in, we have to be at the station in… 9 minutes,” she walked over to the driver’s side door.

“Are we gonna make it on time?”

“Of course we are, buckle up.” She was so pretty with her sunglasses on, they framed her face perfectly.

My phone rang again snapping me out of my trance, “Hello?”

“Hi, is this Dr. Spencer Reid?” another woman spoke on the line.

“This is he,” I sighed, not again.

“Good Morning Dr. Reid, this is Amanda Gino with Channel 13 news, Would you mind if I could ask you a couple questions about the recent bombing at the house of Principal Givens?” “I actually would mind very much, thank you for calling,” I hung up and sighed.

“What was that?” Y/N asked.

“I don't know, actually,” I replied. “I’ve been getting a lot of phone calls from news stations recently.”

“Weird,” she smiled. “We’re here by the way,” she said while we were pulling into the parking lot.

“6:58, that was supposed to be a ten-minute drive,” I chuckled.

“We’re going to be late Dr.” she smiled jumping out of the car and started to walk toward the door so I followed her lead.

We got to the conference room at exactly 7:01, Hotch didn’t say anything and Morgan just chuckled. There was a coffee station set up at the back of the room for us, I grabbed my first cup for the day and my phone rang again, I hung up immediately this time and went back to the table. Hotch got up and started talking about the case and what we had so far. He sent JJ and Prentiss to look through some yearbooks. “Reid, yesterday you mentioned something about the unsub couldn’t feel pain,”

I got up and started doing what I do best, talking, “There is a medical condition called pain asymbolia, where patients register harmful stimuli without being bothered by it. They have been documented holding their hand over an open flame because their brain doesn’t send pain signals to the central nervous system.”

“Sounds pretty rare,” Rossi chimed in. “Are you sure the unsub has it?”

“The crimes prove it, this unsub displayed an unusual level of savagery toward his victims. And consider this, he smashed through a glass display case but there were no cuts on Jerry. That means he most likely punched through it, probably as a show of force. The only way the human body can withstand that level of pain is if he couldn’t feel it at all,” I continued.

“That must really stunt someone’s emotional development,” Rossi said. My phone started ringing again and I hung up.

“A big contributor to our sense of empathy is the way we process physical pain,” Morgan continued. My phone rang again.

“And the unsub didn’t develop his sense of empathy because it was cut off,” Hotch added, my phone ringing again. “Does every person with asymbolia experience this?”

“Actually most people experience empathy just fine, which makes me think the rest of our profile is accurate. Loner, invisible,” my phone rang again, “outcast, son of a bitch!” I answered the call, just to make it stop, “Hi, this is Dr. Reid. I actually can come to the phone right now with a very important message that your mother is a d-

“Reid!” Hotch said sternly

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me,” I looked over as Y/N was trying to hold back laughter.

“I’m going to have Garcia look over medical records,” Hotch continued, I tried to stay focused on him. “What causes asymbolia?”

I looked over to see Morgan snickering, “Severe trauma produces lesions in the insular cortex, usually after a stroke, but this unsub is so young it was mostly caused by an external factor.” Morgan, what did you do?

“Like a bomb going off next to him?” Rossi asked.

“Like a bomb going off next to him,” I repeated looking at Morgan, who was still snickering.

Hotch left the table so we started to clean up some of the papers, “I will crush you,” I whispered to Morgan.

“What?” Morgan replied.

“What?” I said, playing dumb. I looked over to see Y/N, she was laughing to herself. She had the prettiest smile.

She was a ray of sunshine. She smelled like roses, her voice flows through your ears like syrup. Her hair falls perfectly off her shoulders, but today, her ponytail swayed perfectly with every step she took. Focus Reid.

Your POV

After the meeting, you were still laughing at the thought of Spencer swearing. You may have only known him for two days but he had seemed so innocent when you first met. By now he and Rossi had left, leaving you and Morgan.

Morgan started to walk over to you and you sat up straight, “What do you think of the team so far?”

“You all seem really nice,” you said with a smile.

“How do you feel about Dr.Reid?”

“I mean, I’ve only known him for two days but he seems really sweet,”

“Ok,” he said. “Just sweet?” “Derek Morgan if you are asking if I have a crush on Dr. Spencer Reid,” you quipped, “then I’m sorry to say but that information is classified.”

“I thought you’d say that,” he sighed, standing up and heading for the door, “I’ll see you later.”

“See ya,” you waved him goodbye.

For the rest of the morning, you sat and looked at the files again, trying to stay focused on the and not the only thought running through your mind, that you did indeed have a crush on Dr. Spencer Reid, but he didn’t need to know that.

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds fic

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seelaa26 · 4 years

Text

1. Next Stop, Vegas Please

“Gonna sell my car and go to Vegas, ‘cause somebody told me that’s where dreams would be”

My eyes were confused when I opened them due to the sun setting on my window plane. I lost track of time after so many hours flying but I knew we were arriving to Vegas. From the air, the city was unmistakable; you could distinguish The Strip, it’s almost a 7 km stretch, known by its concentration of resort hotels and casinos. Honestly, that was the reason why I chose this city to do my internship, besides the fact that the Crime Lab was the best forensic scientific laboratory in the whole country, Sin City had everything; everything and anything you want to do, you can do in Las Vegas.

The airplane landed a while after and when I set foot on the ground, I couldn’t help but smile even though I was terrified. Leaving my country to go to live to another one all by myself. ¿Was it one hell of a step? Yes, but a necessary one. I wanted to push myself because I needed proof of my inner power; if I could do this, there was nothing I couldn’t do. I worked and studied hard for four years, graduated with honors and got the scholarship. The scholarship covers part of my staying in the city during the nine months; pays half my rent and the car rental. The rest of my payroll was for me. Obviously, I wasn’t going to earn the same money as my coworkers, I had a scholarship contract but it was enough to live comfortably.

My college made the car rental for me, a red Opel Astra with manual transmission and Diesel fuel. I only knew how to drive with manual transmission, so I figured that’s why they rented that car. I adjusted the seating position, started the car and typed the address of the apartment. Dream Apartments was a complex with a clubhouse and a gym, besides the apartment of course. It took me 20 minutes but I got there with success. I parked the car in front of the complex, went to reception and after the registration, they gave me the key to my new home. I followed a tile path and saw a wooden door with a door sign; 898 SF, my apartment. I opened the door, climbed the stairs carrying my suitcase and as soon as I was upstairs, I was impressed by the elegance. The apartment walls were white, wooden floor and everything else was black; doors, frames, curtains, paintings.. I loved it. After the excitement, I realized that I didn’t sleep in the plane but I needed to start getting used to the night shift so I had to stay awake at least until 8 am, since the shift was from 11 pm to 7 am. So, ¿where shall I start? Let’s walk around the neighborhood.

***

When I asked at reception where Gil Grissom’s office was I couldn’t believe it. I did not know what I expected, but his office wasn’t it. There was a metal desk in the middle of the room, which was normal but the rest of the office was full of shelves with glass jars that contained all kind of things you can imagine; a small pig fetus, spiders, frogs, snakes.. all of them dead, obviously but still, creepy.

If that wasn’t enough, he also had specimens of butterflies and bugs framed on the wall. When I was a child, I had a collection with various specimens of scorpions, spiders and beetles conserved in glass, but that was just for fun.

-¡Hi! –a voice spoke behind me, which made me jump from the scare, but he smiled afterwards- Sorry. Welcome to Forensics. Gil Grissom, I’m your supervisor on “Graveyard”.

-Laura Serrano –I introduced myself while shaking hands- ¿”Graveyard”?

-That’s how we call the night shift.

-¿Why? –I asked curiously.

-Because of the same reason you chose this shift –I wondered how did he know that, but he answered before I could even ask- ¿Do you remember what you wrote on the application?

-Actually, I do –I nodded- I wrote that I wanted to work the night shift because of the number of crimes that occur at this time. People are drawn by the allure of the darkness, and so am I.

-That quote is the reason why I accepted your internship –he confessed- You know Laura, this job requires someone who is not afraid to explore the darkest corners. CSI’s see everything and deal with the most twisted things you can imagine. It takes a strong mind to handle it, and I believe you have one.

-I agree and that’s why I can’t wait to be on the field.

-We’ll begin our shift when the team arrives, so while we are waiting.. ¿would you mind taking off your jacket and rolling up your sleeve? I need a pint of your blood. It’s mandatory for all new hires.

A few minutes later, we left the office and headed to the locker room, where the CSI’s store their personal belongings, so I could leave my bag. As we were approaching, two male voices could be heard louder. From the way Grissom smiled, he recognized them. Two good looking guys were talking while putting on their shoes leaning on the bench. One of them was an African American with brown hair and green eyes and quite tall. The other was American with dark hair and brown eyes and a little bit shorter, although I have to admit that I fell for his smile. When he smiled, laugh lines appeared around his cheeks and eyes making him look cuter.

-C’mon, give me a winner for tomorrow.

-Green Bay, minus seven and a half over Niners –answered the African American- Always go with the better quarterback.

-Warrick, Nick –Grissom called, making them look at him and me- I want to introduce you to Laura, she’s the girl who comes to do the internship.

-Nick Stokes –the cute one introduced himself.

-Warrick Brown –he shook my hand after Nick did- You’re from Spain, right?

-Yes, Barcelona –I nodded.

-Man, how I wish to be there.. –Nick mumbled- Great gastronomy, cool weather and views to the Mediterranean.

-¿You’ve been there? –I asked.

-Not yet, but I’m looking for a place for my next vacation –he answered- Now that I’m CSI Level 3 I can afford to travel further than Texas.

A brunette woman entered the locker room in a hurry and greeted everyone without noticing me. I guessed she was another member of the night shift. She was tall and skinny.

-Hey Sara, do you remember that the new girl started working today? –Grissom asked, but she didn’t even look.

-Yeah, ¿why? –she answered and looked for a moment, then she realized- Oh sorry, I’m Sara Sidle, nice to meet you.

-Don’t worry –I smiled- Nice to meet everyone.

-Not everyone.. –Grissom looked around- ¿Does anyone know where’s Catherine?

-She had to pick Lindsey up from her ex’s house, but she’s on her way –Warrick answered- It’s Lindsey’s birthday today.

-Wait for her outside, you’re working together and take Laura with you. 401A at Fremont Street –Grissom commanded as he gave me my CSI credential- Nick, Sara, you’re with me.

-¿What’s a 401A? –I asked Warrick while we were leaving the locker room.

-Hit and run.

I put the credential around my neck and followed him to the exit of the building. When we arrived outside, I saw a skinny, blonde woman approaching us with a weary look on his face.

-Hey guys.. –she said- You must be Laura, the new girl.

-That’s right –I smiled to make her feel comfortable- You must be Catherine.

-Nice to meet you, Laura. Sorry for being late –she looked at Warrick- ¿Are we working together?

-Yeah, hit and run on Fremont –he showed the keys that belonged to one of the cars the CSI’s use to do their job- I’m driving.

***

When we arrived at the crime scene it was already cordoned off. Warrick parked a couple of meters away from the police tape and then we got out of the car. The first thing I saw was the victim; a little girl. I didn’t expect that since it was night and kids don’t go alone on the street. Besides, it was a little girl. ¿Who is capable of leaving her there without calling the police? Cowards.

-¿You okay? –I heard a male voice asking that, and then I realized I stopped walking the moment I saw the girl.

-Yeah, yeah.. It’s just that.. –I tried to find the words to say ignoring that they were both looking at me.

-It’s hard –Catherine finished- I wish I could say it gets easier, but I’m not a liar. The only thing you can do is find whoever did this and get justice.

-Then I’m lucky.. Because that’s exactly our job -I looked at them and sighed- ¿Hoy many hit and runs have you had this year?

-Too many –Warrick replied as he bent down to look at the ground- One thing I can’t stand is a punk coward.

-My daughter wants one of these scooters –Catherine indicated with the flashlight- She says that she’s the only kid in the world who doesn’t have one.

My gaze went back to the little girl’s body but it was something I couldn’t control. I couldn’t concentrate on anything else but her. She had a scared look on her face. My heart shrunk from the sadness of her accident. She was so young and full of life and it only took a couple of seconds to take that away.

-¿Do you want me to tell Grissom to put you in another case? -No –I answered- ¿Why?

-¿You feeling alright Warrick? –Catherine asked in a worried tone- ¿It’s that thing with Holly Gribbs, isn’t it?

-I’m just looking out for my partners, you know.. –Warrick replied with a frown- It made me think who I am to you.

-Hey relax –she smiled at him and then looked at me- I’m sure Laura can handle this one.

-I can –I nodded- I’m okay, but thank you for the offer.

-So, Laura the first thing we do is take a close look at the crime scene and then we take pictures of everything that could be evidence–Catherine explained- In this case, for example, the scooter, the victim’s shoe, the tire marks.. Then we try to recreate what happened with the evidence we’ve got so far. Warrick, ¿you wanna call it?

-Vehicle’s coming down from Rochester, victim was on her scooter heading east, car breaks here, impact here and the vic was thrown.. ¿What? ¿20 meters? –he explained while indicating everything with his fingers.

-And all we’ve got is some paint that’s going to match up to about 20 million other vehicles.. –Catherine sighed- Bastard.

***

I saw them collect the evidence from the crime scene and the next step was get it back to the lab while the coroner performed the victim’s autopsy. Luckily, she was the only dead body that night so it wouldn’t take long. Warrick took the evidence to the rightful departments.

-¿Have you had the chance to walk around the Lab?

-Actually, no.

-I’ll show you around while we wait for the autopsy then –Catherine said and started walking- First we have the DNA Lab, territory owned by Greg Sanders, lab tech specialized in DNA and also in listening commonly rock artists while running lab machines. You’ll meet him, you’ll like him.

-Rock is my favorite genre so I already like him.

-Next to DNA we have Ballistics and in front Audio/Video –we continued walking- We have Trace and Fingerprints over here and down the hall to the right we have the Evidence Garage next to the Evidence Vault and to the left the Locker room, Grissom’s office, the Break Room and the Layout Room.

-¿Layout Room?

-We use that room to review evidence and look for new evidence, compare notes, display the photos from the current case and use the table to draw out rough sketches on maps –she answered with a good explanation- ¿Any more questions? -I have one but it’s not about the Lab.. –she looked at me waiting for me to ask- ¿Who’s Holly Gribbs?

-She was a rookie who started working with us two weeks ago. Holly and Warrick were working together on a case but he left and when Holly was alone collecting evidence from the crime scene, the suspect came back and shot her –Catherine explained it regretfully- She died on the operating table.

-Warrick feels guilty., -I concluded- That’s why he asked me if I wanted to work another case, to make sure I’m okay.

After I finished my sentence, Catherine’s phone rang. It was time for us to head to the morgue, which was downstairs. Before entering the morgue itself, we stopped on the hall to put on the sterile lab coat.

-¿Have you ever seen a dead body?

-Yeah, I took human anatomy classes –I nodded- I wanted to be ready.

-Good –she smiled proudly- Usually, the night shift coroner is Dr. Albert Robbins, but today is his day off so you are going to meet Dr. Jenna Williams.

We entered the morgue and approached the central table while making introductions.

-This is your hit and run victim –the coroner uncovered the girl and looked at me- Bad thing about this job is you stop asking yourself why. The cause of death was the hit by the car, but I’ve found a bruise on her leg.

-Oh my god.. plate numbers, from the license plate when impacted her skin.

-Looks like a 4.. –I looked at the bruise trying to decipher the license plate- ¿And a J?

-Yeah –Catherine agreed- We have to call DMV.

-¿DMV? –I asked.

-Department of Motor Vehicles, we’ll get them to cross check this partial plate in a 5 mile radius.

***

Actually, waiting for an answer from DMV didn’t take as long as I expected. Within the hour we already appeared at the door of the car owner’s house. This was my first time face to face with a suspect and as my first night was full of unexpected things, an older man opened the door.

-¿Hello? –Catherine said with a smile- ¿Mr. Charles Moore? We are with the Las Vegas Crime Lab. We’d like to talk to you about your car.

-We believe it may have been involved in a traffic collision earlier this evening.

-I told the police when they called me.. my car was stolen.

-That’s why we have a search warrant, sir –Catherine gave him the paper- So that we can look in your garage.

When he opened the garage door with that face I already knew we were going to find his car in there and in what condition. From the sad attitude he had, he knew what happened. The front of the car was busted and the license plate hung from its place. We looked at each other, and then we looked at him. We were waiting for an explanation.

-It.. it was an accident.. I saw the girl and I tried to break but I accelerated by mistake. I got confused.. I shouldn’t have left. I was wrong. ¿Is she okay?

-She died at the scene –Catherine said without being affected by the man’s repentance.

-You are going to be charged with manslaughter, Mr. Moore –Warrick added- Felony and run. You have a lawyer?

He didn’t answer, but he looked like he was sad and sorry to hear what happened. Obviously, killing the girl wasn’t his intention, but he had to face it. After finding the car, we had to make sure it was the correct car and we needed evidence so we called Traffic to have the car confiscated and brought in. While we waited, we went to the break room to eat and drink something.

-¿Is it me or did he give it up so easy? –Catherine asked us as she was taking out a cake from the fridge.

-Old guy was scared –Warrick answered with a soda on his hand- ¿What do you think, Laura?

-I also think that he was scared, I mean he almost cried when he heard the girl died but I feel like there’s something more.

-¡You have to see the birthday present I got for your daughter! –Grissom entered the break room while carrying a bag- I had one of this Chem Labs when I was six, I almost blew up the whole house.

-¿What’s the rule.. how long do I have to be here before kicking in for gifts? –I asked with confidence.

-When your spirit moves you –Catherine answered with a smile- But don’t worry because Lindsey doesn’t want a party.

-¿What kind of kid doesn’t want a party? –Sara asked.

-My kid.

-Hey Catherine.. ¿at what time is your little girl coming by? –Nick entered the room with a gift- I got her a Chemset.

Grissom and Nick exchanged surprised looks. They had bought the same gift.

-Keep it –Sara intervened- You might learn something.

-Stop flirting with me –Nick ignored her- Cath, really, ¿when’s the party?

-¿What do I have to do? –Catherine got up from the chair a little bit upset- ¡There is no party! ¡My daughter doesn’t want a party! ¿Is everybody clear on that?

No one was going to answer after that. Crystal clear.

***

-¿How tall do you think Mr. Moore is? –Warrick asked us leaning on the car.

-Six feet, I’d say –Catherine answered after we exchanged a look.

-Old people must love hugging the steering wheel ‘cause this sit is pushed all the way forward –Warrick opened the door and got into the car. He didn’t quite fit- I’m six feet and this mirror isn’t helping me at all.

-¿Can you start the car? –I asked.

-¿Why?

-If you haven’t noticed I’m 5 feet and when I drive I have to push the sit all the way forward.

-You think that it wasn’t Mr. Moore who was driving but someone shorter.

As soon as he started the car, the radio turned on and a rap song started playing. Warrick whistled impressed by the song and started moving his head to the beat of the song. In my case, I knew the song and started rapping it.

-So they can hear everything that you say when you ain’t home. I guess Michael Jackson was right, “You are not alone”. Rock your hardhat black..

-¿You listen to Mos Def? -Warrick asked impressed.

-I thought you said Rock is your favorite genre –Catherine intervened.

-¡And it is! But I listen to everything and when it comes to rap Mos Def, 2Pac, Nas, The Notorious B.I.G, Eminem, Blackstreet.. are some of my favorites.

-¡I like your style! –Warrick smiled at me.

-Mr. Moore was not the last person to drive this car –Catherine was the only one who wasn’t absorbed by the song- ¿Turn the music off?

Now it was time to find the evidence that would sustain our theory. Since it was my first day, I limited myself to observe how they did the search and collection of evidence. The steering wheel cover was leather but it had small breathable circles and there was something stuck in one of them. Catherine took it with the tweezers and showed it to us.

-¿Can you tell what that is?

-¿Is it me or that is a piece of tooth? –I questioned.

***

After collecting the evidence and come to a conclusion, came the part of the confrontation with the suspect. I wanted to see how my colleagues faced the situation in the interrogation room. I had no experience, so I couldn’t enter just like that. Instead, I watched it all from the observation mirror.

-¿Does anybody else drive your car, Mr. Moore? –Warrick started.

-I was driving yesterday.

-Sir, that doesn’t answer our question.

Suddenly, the door opened and a boy about 19 years old entered the room. It was the suspect’s grandson. The boy seemed lost, but the grandfather more.

-¿What is he doing here? –Mr. Moore asked.

-Your grandson is an approved driver on your insurance –Catherine explained- He had him pulled out of school

-So James, ¿you like Mos Def?

He sat down without saying a word.

-¿Did you hit that girl with your grandfather’s car?

-Pops, let me explain to them –the boy said addressing his grandfather- They should hear what happened.

-No, they are going to from me –he nervously clasped his hands together and began to explain- When I hit that girl, James switched seats and took over the wheel, drive me home. He was worried about me, not the girl. I’m not saying good judgment was used, but that’s what happened.

-James, ¿do you want to add anything to that? –Warrick asked, but since the boy didn’t say anything, he continued- Sir, ¿can we look at your teeth?

Mr. Moore took out his dentures and put them on the table.

-James, we found a tooth chip embedded in the steering wheel of your grandfather’s car –Catherine explained again- It doesn’t appear to be of your grandfather’s teeth. ¿Do you have a chipped tooth?

-Pops, I’m sorry but I got to –he was going to tell the truth.

-He is a good boy.. it was an accident. I make him call, let me know where he is. He drove straight home and wanted me to go to the police station with him.

-I didn’t know that little girl was dead. I swear.

-I wouldn’t let him turn himself in, that was my decision –he appealed to our emotions for his grandson- Boy’s going places, college.. he’s got a real future.

-I’m very sorry, Mr. Moore –Catherine mumbled with a sad tone- James, I’m afraid you are gonna have to be taken into custody.

-Miss, please.. –he begged- I’m willing to serve his time.

-I know you are Mr. Moore but we can’t let you do that.

Two police officers entered the room and handcuffed the boy. Taking him by the arms, they left the room and went to reception, where he was going to say goodbye to his grandfather. When Warrick and Catherine left the interrogation room, I joined them. There was a feeling of sadness between us.

-Hey, ¿why don’t you go home? We can handle this –Warrick said to Catherine- Your daughter gets out of school in a half hour on her birthday.

-I owe you –she smiled at him, and then look at me- See you tonight, guys.

Warrick and I exchanged glances and approached them.

-Don’t worry pops, I’ll be okay.

-My grandson going to jail is never okay. You survive in there, ¿you hear me?

-You too –James nodded- Don’t be going downhill.

They hugged each other for the last time with tears in their eyes and honestly, they were not the only ones who had them.

-James, the first days are going to be the toughest –Warrick took his hand and wrote something on it- Here’s my cell number. If you are in any problems, call me. I’ll be right there. Keep your head up.

James was taken away and his grandfather left too. We both stood there, watching them go. Watching how they were forced to separate.

-That has been very good of you –I said touched by his act of kindness.

-They remind me of me and my grandmother –Warrick confessed- ¿How do you feel after the first case? This has been a pretty tough emotional one. You have seen two very hard emotions; tragedy and sacrifice.

-Thanks to them I have realized something –I nodded- You’ve got so much power in this job, which you use to get the bad guys but once in a while, I’d like to use it to help the good guys.

-¿And what.. forget about little Renda Harris?

-No.. –I looked at him- What I’m saying is that putting James away isn’t gonna bring her back and Mr. Moore was willing to do the time. I mean, the victim’s family gets closure..

-I know.. but we got to follow the evidence, even if we don’t like where it takes us –Warrick turned to face me- Laura, it’s the job. If you start making deals with the devil, you don’t get to walk away. ¿You understand what I’m saying?

-Yeah..

-Now it’s time to go home –he said watching reception’s clock- You did very well on your first day. Get some rest, ¿okay?

I went back to the locker room to collect my things and when I left the building, I got in the car and just sat there. I had waited so long for my first case and to feel that high when I’d solve it, but I didn’t feel that way. Not at all. Instead, I felt guilty and this had only just begun.

#csi #csilasvegas #csi las vegas #gil grissom #sara sidle #catherine willows #warrick brown #nick stokes #jim brass #fanfic #criminalistic

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nerteragranadensis · 3 years

Note

If you’re accepting double prompts, I would love to see 15 and 31 together, I have this idea that it would be hilarious.

If not! 31.

double prompts are great! pretty sure I overthought this one, but it was fun to write. The characters involved are OCs from a post-apocalyptic novel.

15. Heist AU + 31. Awful First Meeting

“Yeah,” Allison said. She drew out the word and looked down at her ipad, feigning disinterest. “Looks like we’re gonna have to fumigate.”

The museum manager stared at her in dismay. Allison returned his stare, impassive and professional. Almost, she thought. Almost. Just ask to set up an appointment. You want to ask. I’m the person to ask.

She was wearing a decent mockup of an exterminator uniform—blue coveralls and a baseball cap, her hair pulled up behind her head. If she could talk the manager into closing, they could pull off this job tonight, and she could be out of town on a boat filled with historic artifacts by tomorrow.

She waited. People always tried to fill a silence, if you let them. People hated silence.

“I—” The manager stammered. “I’m sorry, I have to talk to my supervisor.”

“Sir,” Allison said, with none of the respect that word implied. "You have an infestation. Right now, in this museum. Now you can take all the time you need to think it over, but for every minute you do that you're gonna have termites—"

She was interrupted by the sound of a car alarm outside. She turned her head toward it automatically, turned back, and then realized, too late, why that alarm sounded so familiar.

That’s the van.

“Excuse me,” Allison said to the manager. Then she bolted for the parking lot.

The van wasn’t in the parking lot. They had parked it across the street, outside a tourist-trap gift shop that didn’t get much business. Allison reached the sidewalk and stopped, gaping at the battered grey Ford crumpled against the side of her beautiful van.

“What the fuck?”

The Ford had a driver. He emerged from around the side of it, and oh, shit, he was bleeding. He was also—if Allison wasn't mistaken—a high schooler. He looked scared shitless.

“I am so sorry,” he said. Allison started moving again, approaching the two cars. The Ford looked totaled. The van had at least survived, but the passenger-side door was dented in. The window was shattered. “There was ice,” said the other driver—the only driver. “In the intersection and I didn’t—it all happened so—” He covered his face, and then looked up at her again in agony. “I am so sorry.”

“It’s, uh—” It wasn’t okay, not by the furthest fucking stretch of Allison’s imagination, but she didn’t have time for this. She had the manager on the hook and she needed to get back inside to reel him in, so she could finish this job and get out—

“I called the police,” the kid said.

“You what?”

He actually, visibly flinched. “I told them it was my fault,” he said, “I promise, you weren’t even driving so it couldn’t be you—and I don’t—I don’t have insurance but I’ll pay you back, I swear, we can—”

“Shit. Shit!” Allison ran around to the driver’s side of the van. She didn’t have anything directly incriminating in the van, she knew better than that, but the last thing she wanted on fucking Earth was a paper trail. She pulled open the door and dug through the glove compartment. She had a registration for the van. She had three registrations for the van. She dug through papers, scattering them across the seat, until she found the one that listed it to her current assumed identity.

This is bad. This is really bad. She didn’t have time for this.

She emerged from the van and found the kid standing behind her, so close that she almost ran him over. “Shit!”

“I’m sorry,” he said again, backing up.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I didn’t mean to—” His voice cracked, his breath hitched, and then he started crying, right there on the sidewalk. Allison stared at him in horror.

“Don’t…” she said, with much less heat. “Hey, come on. Don’t do that.” She took a hesitant step toward him. The kid didn’t flinch, which was something, but Allison didn’t feel at all comfortable touching him, and she had no other ideas for getting him to stop. She’d been cussing him out a few seconds ago. “It’s gonna be okay. Probably. I’m not gonna… press charges or anything.” At the moment she was considering skipping town altogether. Her chances of pulling the job off at all were dropping by the second.

The kid snuffled and nodded and swiped at his eyes. He wasn’t wearing gloves. His knuckles were turning red from cold, which just made Allison feel worse. “I really am sorry,” he said.

“I got that,” Allison said. Several blocks down the street, she saw a police car pull around the corner. “What’s your name, anyway?”

“Mikhail,” the kid said, and then, “Ivanov. Sorry.”

“Okay,” Allison said. “I have to step back inside for a minute. If you could just stay here while I—”

She was interrupted by the screech of tires on gravel, as another van pulled up to the museum, decked out in blue and orange lettering. Anchorage Pest Control, it read. Allison stared at it.

Well, shit.

#this is only slightly more awful than the way these characters meet in canon #my writing #prompt fill #text

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canaryatlaw · 4 years

Text

alright. today was kinda hectic and stressful so not really the best. woke up at 6, made it to work and all that. It’s my clinic day, and we have an “immersion” project this week where students from a law school that’s on spring break will come and volunteer for the whole week. and obviously like, there isn’t time for them to observe so they just get thrown into it, and so today was had 8 volunteers which is a lot, especially when none of them have any actual experience with this so you gotta guide them through all of it. initially there was a lot of stress assigning people to cases and making sure we had enough volunteers to cover, at one point we definitely had one too many but I ended up having to reject one anyway so it worked out alright. from there it was just a lot of people running back and forth all day and having to give specific instructions, and of course my computer’s usb ports decided to crap out on me and no longer work which is like, a very crucial function for us because the volunteers fill out the paperwork on their laptops and then transfer it to us on usb drives, so that was a whole deal too. and then there was just like, the worst luck with getting judges, by some miracle all of the orders got granted, but they definitely did some weird stuff marking up the paperwork and just like making decisions that are not actually based in the law. and then I had a phone call with an opposing counsel about an argument for a motion that’s coming up and admittedly I was probably somewhat too candid in my reaction (it’s just that he has a really stupid ass argument that contradicts how the law has been interpreted in every other case in this courthouse, but sure try to argue that) and then he just like totally flipped out and started yelling at me about how rude and disrespectful I was being and was just like “well if you want to be rude then I guess that’s how we’ll play this” and hung up and I was just like.....what the fuck just happened?? and of course because I have no control over my emotions my body promptly decided that I needed to start crying which god I hate so much that I’m twenty fucking seven and can’t control my body’s need to start crying in situations where I very much would not like to be crying anymore than I could when I was fucking four years old and feeling the way. I just, UGH. it wasn’t too bad though, my supervisor (who I share an office with) came in and I told her and she was comforting and that helped me feel a bit better, and then the volunteers came back down and I had to pretend like I wasn’t just crying and I may have been like “oh it’s allergies” once or twice because I just didn’t want to get into it. what I really hate though is like, this was objectively not really a big deal, but I can’t get my mind off of it for the rest of the day and it’s driving me up the wall, and I’m just so peeved at myself for doing that and peeved about how it played out and just concerned about what’s going to happen from here. And I know it’s all probably gonna be fine and not be a huge deal, but like, my desire to have everybody like me is going into overdrive and just flipping out at the possibility that someone’s thinking badly of me, and that’s really what this all comes down to and god I just hate it all so much!! ugh. sigh. anyway. A few more work things before we move on, one of the awful judges (albeit the less awful of the two) is apparently going to be on the bench in one of the courtrooms for the rest of the week because that judge is out, which I was initially like WELL FUCK about because I’m supposed to have a hearing in front of that judge tomorrow, and he’s such a hardass and can be a giant pain on the bench and I just don’t know how that would go. but when I told my supervisor she said he probably won’t actually have the hearing and just reschedule it, because that’s what he usually does apparently. and like, I would be glad to not have to do it in front of him, but at the same time I’m annoyed at the prospect of the case getting stretched out any further because we’ve already had several hearing dates set where it hadn’t gone and like, I was determined to get it done tomorrow but these are just circumstances beyond my control, so there’s not much I can do there. I guess we’ll see what happens. My coworker sent out an email asking if someone could switch clinic days with her for theirs next week because on Thursday which is her clinic day she has this continuous terrible case that has been an ongoing hearing for literally months now. and like, obviously Thursday all the volunteers are still going to be here so it’s still going to be chaotic, but like, looking at the options, it was either going to have to be me or my work buddy to take it, and he has clinic tomorrow so if he did take it he’d have it two days in a row which is a lot (which I know because I’ve done it a lot) and he can sometimes get frazzled when there’s too much stuff going on and I just don’t think that would be a good idea for him. so as draining as today was, I volunteered to take the Thursday clinic day as well because it was really the right thing to do. Hopefully at least the volunteers will have somewhat of a better idea of what they’re doing by then so it’ll be a bit less stressful. I hope, at least. sigh. anyway. I was able to leave work at like 5:20, so not bad for a clinic day. headed home, got some food and my laptop and turned on the tv. Caught tonight’s episode of The Resident, then watched last week’s Black Lightning, then finished up the child abuse doc I was watching on netflix, and finally ended it with an episode of Gotham before showering and starting to get ready for bed, and now I’m here. well, this was a long one, clearly I had a lot ot get off my chest. hopefully tomorrow will be a better day, I’m still kind of unsure about what’s going to happen with the hearing so we’re going to prepare as if we definitely are going to hearing, so I guess we’ll see how that works out, it shouldn’t be too bad since we’ve actually prepped for other hearing dates in the past so it’s nothing too new. I’m just concerned that if the hearing does go the judge might make a very callous decision and end up further traumatizing my client, who’s already been going through a lot, so I really hope that doesn’t happen, either with it not going forward or just the judge being good. alright, that’s all I got. It’s like 12:15 am, I can sleep till 6:30 am tomorrow because I don’t have any morning court, but I should still definitely be getting to sleep, so that’s what I will be doing now. Goodnight babes. Love you lots.

#daily journal #March 2020

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mldrgrl · 6 years

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Full Circle

by: mldrgrl Rating: PG Pairing: Hank/Stella Summary: Preparing for the big move

Leaving a job after more than twenty years was difficult. Stella thought she could be an exception to the rule. She’d kept her colleagues at a distance for most of her time on the force, which allowed her the detachment necessary to do her job effectively. Whereas others might have felt isolated, she felt comfortable.

It came as a surprise to her that packing her office came with unexpected melancholy. Hank had come with her to carry heavy boxes, according to him, but she knew it was only because he’d been curious about what her life in Scotland Yard was like and he’d never been inside. If he didn’t tag along now, there’d never be another opportunity. He rescued an anti-stress ball that had been in a gift bag from some conference somewhere that she’d just thrown in the rubbish bin and flopped down on the couch in her office to toss it around.

“I expected more funny hats,” he said. “I never asked, why are your cops called Bobbies?”

“The home minister that created the police force was named Sir Robert Peel,” she answered, wrapping an elastic band around a folder of personal files to take with her. “The public referred to them as Peelers for some time, and then Bobbies.”

“Do you think Emma Peel was named in honor of Robert Peel? God, she was hot.”

“I’m not up to speed on my Avengers trivia, I’m afraid.”

There was a light knock on the open door of her office and she looked up from packing her files. Jim Burns gave her a half-smile and gave a nervous glance around the room.

“You’re needed, Mrs. Peel,” Hank said in a posh British accent.

“Jim,” Stella acknowledged. “This is my husband, Hank. Hank, this is Jim Burns. He was my supervisor once upon a time.”

“What’s up?” Hank waved his fingers and then tossed his ball in the air again.

“Uh.” Jim cleared his throat and began to stammer over a goodbye. “I know today is...well, I thought I would just come down...you know, uh, wish you luck and everything.”

“Thank you.”

“Well, I’ll uh...I should let you…it was nice to meet you. Hank.”

Hank waved his fingers again and Jim patted his hand against the door frame before making an awkward exit. As soon as he was gone, Hank whistled low like a bomb dropping and raised his brows at Stella.

“What?” she asked.

“You must’ve done some kind of number on that guy.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“You want me to believe you never fucked that guy?”

She glanced at the empty doorway and then raised her brow back at him. “I’m merely denying that I did any type of number on him.”

Hank threw the ball up again and caught it mid-air. “I’d be jealous, but I just feel sorry for him.”

Stella put the lid on the banker’s box she was using to pack her personal items and placed her hands on the top. Twenty years in one small box. She breathed in deep through her nose and then collected her jacket from the coat rack.

It’s just a job, she told herself, watching Hank pocket the anti-stress ball and then grab the box from her desk. Just a job.

*****

The house was empty, save for a few select pieces of furniture the new buyers had requested as part of the sale. The barstools remained, the slender end table in the hallway remained, and the pair of chairs in front of the bay window also remained. They had asked for the glass bookcase in the bedroom, but it was one item Stella wouldn’t part with, and wouldn’t send to storage. It was costly to ship, but she was attached to it and so it was making the journey to New York as well.

Stella stood in her empty bedroom and took a final look around. In less than an hour she would be signing the final papers to complete the sale of her home and then in the morning she and Hank would be on a plane to New York where they would remain. Permanently. No traveling back and forth across the Atlantic anymore. They were no longer Londoners and she was no longer on the police force.

“Hey,” Hank said, stepping up behind her and hooking an arm around her chest.

“Just taking a last look,” she said.

“Fond memories of this room. Very fond.” He pressed his hips up against her back and she took hold of his arm across her chest and smiled.

“You’re the only man that’s been with me in this room. Have I ever told you that?”

“I took your bedroom virginity? Humbled and honored. You should’ve told me earlier, I’d have written an acceptance speech.”

“Do you know, when I looked at this house, these walls were blue.”

“Blue? How blue are we talking? Ocean blue, Smurf blue, or Stella blue?”

“Like a hazy sky.”

“I can see why you’d paint over it.”

“I wonder if the new owners will paint. I wonder if by next week these walls will be buttercream or lilac.”

“You can pull out, you know,” he said, opening up his arm to step in a half-circle to face her. “You don’t have to sell if you don’t want to.”

She put her hands on his chest and patted very lightly. “I want to,” she said, her eyes drifting over the bare walls for another look.

“I’ll be downstairs.”

She nodded and her eyes fluttered shut as he cupped her cheeks and caught her lips with a few short pecks. On his last kiss, he lingered and she captured his wrist to tug his hand away. He got in one more peck to the corner of her mouth and then brushed past her and out the door. Before she joined him, she gave herself one last walk around the perimeter of the room, feeling unexpectedly sentimental to the point that she found herself caressing the closet doorknob almost reverently. Suddenly feeling foolish, she jerked her hand away and held her wrist near her chest.

It’s only a house, she thought. Nothing more.

Adjusting her blazer by tugging on the lapels, she turned on her heel and joined Hank downstairs. He was on his cell phone, leaning against the wall. Their bags were in front of the door. He nodded at her and pushed away from the wall.

“Gotta go,” he said. “Becca says hi.”

“Hello to Becca,” she answered.

“Stella says hi back, we’ll see you soon.” He hung up the phone and put it in the pocket of his leather jacket. “Ready?”

“Yes.”

*****

Papers were signed, checks were distributed, and keys were turned over. The townhouse was no longer hers. On the one hand, she was relieved of the burden of a mortgage, on the other, she felt bereft and untethered, even if she had a home in New York. The house was the first move towards something permanent she’d ever made in her life. Marrying Hank was the second. Moving to New York, well that was almost like making the permanent officially permanent.

Hank had waited with the car while she went into the realtor’s office to sign the papers. When she came out, he was chatting up the driver as they both leaned against the hood of the black towncar. For one last time, she’d called her favorite car service and her favorite driver, Nicolá, had shown up promptly on time, as effusive as always. He and Hank had met on several occasions, but she couldn’t recall if they’d ever had a conversation. As soon as he saw Stella, he put his hat back on and opened the back door for her.

“To the bank now, signora?” he asked.

“Please,” she answered.

After the banking was done, there was officially nothing left to be done except check in to their hotel for the night. She’d left those arrangements to Hank and didn’t know where they’d be staying, but she hoped they had room service. She didn’t feel much like going out.

“Signora, may I say it’s been a pleasure driving you,” Nicolá said as he set their suitcases at the curb in front of their hotel. “If you return to London at any time, please allow me to drive for you, it would be my honor.”

Stella smiled and on impulse, embraced the older man. He’d been a constant in her life for the past few years and she would actually miss him. Her eyes grew a bit misty, but she blinked away any sign of emotion before she stepped back.

“My wife is going to call me a silly old goat when I tell her the most remarkable woman in London next to her majesty embraced me today.”

“Take care, Nicolá.”

“You as well, signora.”

Stella managed to draw out the process of gathering their bags together to enter the hotel just long enough to watch Nicolá drive away. She felt a little foolish for wanting to see him off and she reminded herself that drivers come and go. He was just a man who got her from place to place, nothing more.

*****

The hotel was familiar to Stella in a way she didn’t pinpoint until they walked into the room. She paused by the bed, looked out the window, and then turned back to Hank who was still in the entryway.

“This is…” she started.

“Where we met,” he finished, and then drew a line beneath the brass 908 above the peephole with his fingertip.

“Same room.”

“Your room. I was in 523.”

Stella stepped out of her heels and untucked her blouse as she walked to the window. It wasn’t dark yet, like it was the night she went to bed with him. Hyde Park bustled below. She heard the door snick shut and a few moments later Hank was beside her.

“Nice view,” he said.

“It is,” she agreed. She’d never really appreciated it before and now she didn’t know when she’d be back.

“I know it’s not easy, Sherlock.”

“It’s just a city.”

“Nothing is ever just anything.”

She wanted to nod in agreement, but there was a lump in her throat that caused her to remain still. She stared out over treetops and rooftops that she’d seen her whole life, but never taken a good look at.

“Why here?” she asked.

“Because when I walked out the door that night, I didn’t think I’d ever see you again, even if I wanted to. Tomorrow morning we’ll walk out of here together and I won’t have to wonder where you are, I’ll know. You’re with me.”

She turned from the window and put her hands on Hank’s chest. His jacket was in her way so she pushed it off his shoulders and he shrugged it to the floor. “I am with you,” she said.

“I thought that, you know technically, we began here. And we can begin again here with something new.”

Stella nodded once and took a step closer to rest her head against Hank’s chest. She put her arms around him and he wrapped his around her, swaying back and forth a little.

“It’s harder than I thought it would be,” she admitted.

“I know.”

“I want it though.”

“Stella, did you ever imagine that one night would lead us here? Or even that weekend in LA. Did you ever think, even for a second, that we’d end up where we are in this moment?”

“Not in the slightest.”

“You know, if we weren’t already married, I’d propose to you right now.”

“I would say yes.”

“What do you want to do now, Sherlock? On our last night?”

“Mm.” She breathed deeply and closed her eyes. “Hot shower. Room service.”

“Cheeseburger?”

“God, yes.”

“Fries?”

“I knew I married you for a reason.”

Hank gave her a squeeze and then let go. “Take your shower. I’ll place an order.”

Stella went one way towards the bathroom and Hank went the other towards the phone. She pivoted when she was halfway, unbuttoning her blouse as she walked backwards. “As I recall, the shower is large enough for two,” she said.

“You don’t have to ask me twice,” he answered, the hotel service guide on the end table in his hand. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Don’t make me wait.” She turned and shed her shirt just before the door to the bathroom.

“Hey, Sherlock,” he called to her, the phone at his ear. “Think of this new life as an adventure.”

“It already has been, Watson. A very lovely adventure.”

The End

#i wrote this #hanella #hank moody #stella gibson #the last adventure

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your-modern-shakespeare · 6 years

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A Little Too Real (9)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 4.5, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 7.5, Part 8

Summary: RealityTV!AU- You are a wardrobe supervisor for a popular TV network. The show is planning a reality TV show like the bachelor and Bucky is the newest contestant. But as the competition starts he realizes that he doesn’t like any of the girls…on the show anyway.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (eventual)

Word Count: 15,622 (I give up guys!)

A/N: I’m sorry this took so long, as you could imagine it takes quiet a bit of time to write something this long. That and I’ve been doing a lot of job stuff recently since it’s about to hit the summer season which is usually the busiest for theatre folk (that is at night). I’m not completely sure if you’re going to love or hate this but either way I hope the wait is worth it and I love you guys! Enjoy! PLEASE pay attention to POV indicators

Warnings: angst, fluff, implied and mentions of sexy time, mention of nudity? (both of these are not what you’re thinking), kissing, mentions of cheating, mentions of someone dying (not main character), mention of pregnancy, wedding talk, PTSD type situations?

Week 6

Y/N’S POV

The problem with living alone was that it was pretty...lonely.

I tired to spend Sunday alone but really only made it halfway through the day before I gave up and went over to Bucky’s to hang out.

I knocked on the door of his apartment and waited a couple of seconds for him to answer. When he opened I tried not to react too noticeably to his bare chest and water soaked hair, wearing nothing but a towel.

“Y/N, hey!” He said, now obviously flustered.

“You weren’t expecting me were you?” He waved me in and closed the door behind me.

“No offense or anything, I just kind of assumed you were Steve, but it’s fine, you’re welcome any time. ”

“Is Steve supposed to come over, I don’t mean to intrude?”

“No, no. Um...just give me a second and I’ll fill you in?” He said, gesturing to his nakedness.

“Of course, yeah.” He walked back to his room and got changed and I made myself comfortable on the couch. It didn’t take long for him to join me on the couch...now completely dressed.

Now, I had seen a man before, I had dressed men before, I had seen Bucky without clothes on before, but seeing him in nothing but a towel did not help the thoughts that had already been going through my head.

“So…”

“So...Peggy’s parents are in town. They’re these rich Brits who want to get over involved in the wedding and Steve called and told me that my apartment had been deemed his escape.”

“So you thought that he was already going insane?”

“Yeah.”

“And you don’t mind having Steve around when you’re wearing nothing but a towel?”

“We grew up together, we’ve been through everything together. I don’t think there’s really anything that could phase either of us.”

“So going back to Peggy’s parents, what are they like?”

“Well they’re really nice and they love Steve; they really took him in after his mom died. And they worship their children, they gave them the world, and didn’t stop there. And now they’re both so successful: Peggy’s getting married and has a great career and you haven’t met her brother yet, but you would like him, he worked in theatre for a bit and he’s done a lot of traveling. But anyway, they just really want to be a part of the wedding planning since they live so far away and they’ll be gone for a long time after the party this week.”

“Party this week?”

“Peggy didn't ask you?”

“No.”

“Her parents are throwing this big fancy engagement party on Thursday, of course she’s going to want you there.”

“How fancy are we talking?”

“Well, most of her family will be there, and her parents may be rich but that’s an understatement with the rest of her family; so It’ll be pretty fancy, black tie. We plan on doing something a little more casual for Steve once they go back, but I suppose you’ll be able to crack out that second dress for the party.”

“Oh, I’m not sure it’ll be that fancy.”

“Well what does it look like?”

“It’s a ballgown.”

“And?”

“That I designed for a red carpet event.”

“Yeah. The party is more like...like something in Downton Abbey. They’ll get all dressed up, lounge around a big house, eat small food, drink tea, maybe do some dancing.”

“So more like a fancy cocktail party.”

“Yeah, but a little more British. The women can wear whatever they want, as long as it’s appropriate. Men have to wear tails or a really nice suit.”

“Please tell my you’re going to wear tails! I love a good tailcoat.”

“Well, I’m not wearing tails to the engagement party, I haven’t had the time to go to a tailor, but I am to the wedding. You should definitely come to the fitting.”

“I would love to come to the fitting. You know in school my final project was constructing a suit for Intimate Apparel. Everyone else had these beautiful corsets and they trusted me with the most difficult piece, but it was also the only male piece that we constructed, which made it really special.”

“So then you’ll know if it looks good on me.”

“Well I don’t think anything could look bad on you, but I’ll know what the tailor’s doing and I can explain things to you.”

“I would like to have you there.”

“Well, I will be there.”

Bucky and I lounged around, watching Downton Abbey and eating take out food, nothing too far away from what we had been doing before; besides the fact that we weren’t living together anymore. And of course, we got to the most dramatic part of our episode when I received a call.

YN: Hello?

PC: I’m kidnapping you and Wanda tomorrow to go dress shopping.

Y/N: Why would we need new dresses Peggy?

I said looking over at Bucky with a smile on my face. He smiled too.

PC: Come on. I know you’re with Bucky and I know that he knows about the engagement party which means that you know.

YN: How do you know I’m with him?

PC: Am I wrong?

YN: No.

PC: Then Steve and I will pick the both of you up in the morning

YN: You know that...that I’m not staying with Bucky anymore right? I was cleared by the doctor, so I went home.

PC: Oh. I mean—we can still pick you up, you know just from your place.

YN: Yeah I would appreciate that

PC: Good so we’ll still pick up the both of you before we go shopping

YN: Okay. See you tomorrow.

PC: Bye

YN: Bye

PEGGY’S POV

“So what did Y/N say to you kidnapping her?” Steve walked out of the bathroom with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist.

“Did you know that she moved out of Bucky’s apartment?”

“What? No.”

“Apparently the doctor told her that she was good to go home and she did.”

“Really?”

“Well I didn’t get much information about what happened, but don’t think that I won’t interrogate her when I see her.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

“I just don’t understand. I thought they were getting closer to each other.”

“I thought so too.”

“Then why would she move out?”

“I don’t know.”

“There has to be something that we missed.”

“Well she did almost get kidnapped by her ex husband, maybe that has something to do with it.”

“What?!”

“Did she not tell you?”

“We haven’t spoken since the lunch. What happened?”

So Steve sat down on the bed beside me and explained everything that Bucky had told him. And after he finished I completely understood why she hadn’t said anything to me. The whole thing was crazy, but she hadn’t even known that any of it had happened, not before Bucky told her.

“I know why she left.” I said afterward.

“You do?”

“Bucky put himself in danger for her. And her whole life she has had to be so strong and yet that changed when she met Bucky. He made her vulnerable and in a way that she hadn’t been since her ex was in the picture. So with Bucky being there for her and her ex being around too…”

“She left to put her feelings back in check.”

“Exactly.”

“Which means we are further away from getting those two together.”

“Unfortunately.”

“What do we do next?”

“I’ll talk to her tomorrow during shopping.”

“I’ll do the same with Bucky.”

“Good.” He leaned over to give me a quick kiss which turned into a not so short kiss too quickly. I pulled him down closer to me, kissing him deeper, but he pulled away.

“Do we have time before we go pick up your parents?”

“If we don’t do it now we won’t be able to until they leave.”

“We could—”

“We are not going to escape to Bucky’s to have sex.”

“I’m just saying, if we asked he would go over to Y/N’s and give us some privacy.”

“Really, he said that?”

“No, but I’m sure he would say yes.”

“Just shut up and kiss me.”

We had to rush to the airport after that, but ultimately we made it in time to pick up my parents from their flight. They had been so excited to see us and when we drove them to our apartment they easily settled in to the guest bedroom.

The following morning we made a traditional English breakfast before we headed out to pick up everyone up for a day of shopping. We went to Wanda’s place first seeing that she lived the closest to us, next we went to Bucky’s and last we stopped by Y/N’s.

Bucky, always the gentlemen, especially when it came to Y/N, got out of the car and ran up the steps to help her down, opening the door for her before she climbed in.

“Hey guys!” She said and Bucky climbed in closing the door behind him.

Steve started driving towards the city and we all made small talk, mostly talking about what my family was like and what the party would be like and even talked a little about Bucky’s time in London right after his accident.

And then the boys dropped us off in front of a nice boutique before they headed off to get suits for themselves.

Now I just needed to find out what was going on with Y/N.

Y/N’S POV

Peggy had made an appointment previously for the three of us to find dresses, letting us know that this would be a good place to find something classy and English enough for Americans to wear to a fancy British engagement party.

The staff immediately greeted us as we walked in and as soon as we confirmed our appointment they eagerly gave us free reign to shop. The woman helping us was very fond of showing us dresses that were way too expensive, even though Peggy offered to pay for the dresses. So instead we picked out some of the less expensive dresses (still pretty pricey in my book) and had the woman helping us place them in the dressing rooms. When we reached the limit on how many dresses we could have in the room, we were shown to our respective dressing room and we put on our first options.

When we were all dressed we went to stand out in front of the mirror, all three not obvious or serious picks but fun nonetheless

“So...I’ve been dying to ask you—” Peggy started to say to me.

“Well this can’t be good.” I said in response. She turned to look at me giving me a serious look.

“Why did you move out of Bucky’s?”

“I knew this wouldn’t be good.”

“You moved out of Bucky’s?” Wanda asked.

“Why is this such a big deal?”

“Why is this not a big deal?” Peggy asked.

“It’s not a big deal because staying with Bucky was nothing more than for medical precaution advised by my doctor. Bucky talked to the doctor and told him I could go home, so I did.”

“But things were going so good.”

“I don’t know what you mean by that.”

“We just mean that everything seemed really great between you two, so why mess it up?”

“Everything's still fine between us, nothing has changed.”

“But you left.”

“I couldn’t have stayed there forever.”

“Who says you couldn’t.”

“Now you guys are just messing with me.” I turned away from them and headed back to the dressing room to put on the next option. My next dress was a much better option, one I would have actually bought for myself if I had the money.

When I came out the second time I was the first one out of the room, so I sat in one of the chairs and waited for Wanda and Peggy to join me before I said anything to them.

“Okay. I’m going to say one thing and then we are going to drop this conversation.”

“Okay.”

“I left Bucky’s because I was getting too close to him. It was getting harder and harder to keep everything down.”

“Then why do it?” Wanda asked.

“I’m not talking about this anymore.”

“No, she’s right. Why are you trying so hard to push everything down? You love him, you won’t admit it but you do.” Peggy argued.

“You know I get berated every time I go out with you guys and honestly I don’t like it. I came here to hang out with you so please stop questioning me like I’m a murderer.”

“Well if Wanda had a love interest we would be doing the same thing with her.”

“Is that so?”

“But I don’t have anyone.” She said.

“Or do you?” I asked, hoping to direct attention away from myself.

“No one serious.”

“No one serious?!” Peggy and I both asked at the same time.

“What? We’ve only been out on one date.”

“What’s his name?” I asked.

“Well his real name is Jarvis but everyone calls him Vision.”

“Vision?”

“He works for Tony on his security detail, an upper level man. He got the nickname because he knows everything that happens, he’s the eyes and ears for Tony.”

“Pretty clever.” Peggy said.

“Yeah.”

“And you like him?”

“It was...a really good first date.”

“You going to see him again?”

“I think so yeah.”

“See, now we can just grill Wanda for fun details.”

“No. Wanda has a date, she is actively seeing someone. You are ignoring your feelings and shoving aside the love of your life. It’s not the same.”

“Well anyway let's talk about something else. What about these dresses?” I stood from the chair and went to go stand beside them, fixing the dress as I did.

“Well you look amazing and should totally get this dress.” Peggy said to me.

“Yeah you look hot, Bucky wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off you.” Wanda added.

They both laughed.

“This is not what I meant by you telling me what you thought of this dress.”

“Just being honest.” Peggy said.

“Well if I look ‘hot’ than it’s not right for a proper English engagement party.”

“But it’s perfect for showing Bucky what you got.”

“This Party is not about that.”

“I could just buy it for you anyway, you could wear it out on a date with him, let him take it off you at the end of the night...” I glared at her and they both just laughed at me.

“I am not getting this dress and to think I was going to give you a compliment on yours.”

“Well jokes on you I’m getting this dress because I think I look ‘hot’ in it and I know Steve will like it on...and off me.”

“You do look really good...even though I’m mad at you.”

“You can’t be mad at me, I just want you to be happy and I feel like that dress could help you get really happy.”

“Well the ‘happy’ you’re talking about is not happening with Bucky.”

“Maybe not now, but I have a pretty good feeling.”

“Whatever. I’m going to go put on the next dress.”

Peggy sat out in one of the chairs in her dress as Wanda and I put on our next dress. I decided on the third dress that I tried on which made me look good but was a little more covered and more formal than the last one I had on, despite how much I liked it. Wanda ended up picking the fourth dress she tried on and then we met the boys down the street for lunch before Steve and Peggy drove all of us to work. They dropped Wanda and Bucky off at the house and then went back and dropped me off at the studio so that I could get some work done before I would make my way back to the them.

Today was technically my first day back at work and boy was I happy. I started at the wardrobe room finally being able to catch up on the work that I had had to push off because of my medical leave. I had been working so long that I didn’t even notice the time and tried to get to the house for filming, but with crutches and a slow going taxi I was definitely late.

I made my way over to the director’s area where Wanda was sitting and we sat and watched the show until we finally got to a break. Bucky came out of the house first and walked over to me.

“You’re late.” He said with a smile on his face.

“I’m a cripple.”

“A late cripple.”

“Got me there.” He laughed at me.

“So how’s your first day back?”

“Good so far.”

“Yeah? Good.”

“Definitely not lacking on the work I’ve got to do.”

“You’ll catch up soon enough.”

“I hope so.”

So as the night came to a close and as we drew later into the week, I worked on everything I needed to to catch up on, helped Peggy pick out a few things for the party, meeting her mom along the way, and spent a lot of time with Bucky.

He was an open book this week, despite not having been the week before. He told me every single doubt and thought he had about the four remaining girls: Ulani, Gabriella, Kristy, and Malia. I sat there for hours listening to what he thought about these girls, which I had to admit hurt quite a bit. But despite everything I listened to what he had to say, listening to things I didn’t even know he was thinking of.

Wednesday night, after a long night of filming, we laid on his bed facing each other. I had planned on going home but he looked like he had had a rough date, a double date with Kristy and Gabriella.

From everything I had seen, which is a lot more than Bucky, these two had it out for each other. It made for a pretty hostile date and a handsomely defeated Bucky.

“That was bad wasn’t it?” He asked.

“Yeah…”

“You want to know the worst part about it?”

“What?”

“I felt like I was on a date with Nat again.”

“Really?” I said in shock.

“When I was in the hospital I had a lot of time to think about what happened with Nat. And I just realized how exhausting the whole relationship had been. I must have had better patience back then because I honestly have no idea how I put up with her for so long. But I was sitting there while they both fought for my attention demanding to be heard and expecting me to care.”

“You don’t?”

“It’s not that I don’t, it’s just that they were both trying so hard to impress me, to make themselves seem more appealing. I just feel that when you meet someone and start dating them you either feel it or you don’t. It shouldn’t have to be about selling yourself to someone or trying to make them believe that you’re a certain way when that may not be the case. Its fake. They were being fake and that’s honestly the best way to describe Nat.”

“So does that mean you know who you’re getting rid of this week?”

“Honestly…?”

“What?”

“I feel like I’ve just wasted everyone’s time.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because I don’t think I’m going to end up choosing any of them.”

“What?”

BUCKY’S POV

“What?” She just looked at me like I was crazy. “What do you mean? Can you do that?”

“I don’t know. I have a lawyer looking into it.”

“Peggy?”

“Yeah.”

“I bet she got a kick out of that.”

“What?”

“Looking at your contract to see if you have to pick someone on the show. I'm sure her imagination is running wild with reasons for why.”

“Yeah, her and Steve and probably conspiring against us.”

“Yeah...What are you going to do until then?”

“Keep playing it out until I know for sure.”

“And what happens if you have to choose someone?”

“I'll tell her the truth and make it look good for the cameras.”

“And you think she’ll go along with it?”

“I don’t know. I tend to hope for the best with these girls and get screwed by them at the same time.”

“We’ll figure it out.” She grabbed my hand and held it in hers giving me a hopeful look.

That night Y/N stayed over. We stayed up way too late talking and when the morning came she went back to her apartment to get ready for the day and check on any last things that Peggy needed help with.

Having Y/N there again, even if it was just one night didn’t make things any easier for me. Ever since I kissed Y/N it had been pretty much impossible to think of anything else and when those thoughts started it didn’t take much for my imagination to run wild. So how was I supposed to tell anyone that the reason for Peggy’s evaluation of my contract was so that I could choose Y/N, that I could finally tell her the way that I felt.

So instead of trying to find some way to hang out with Y/N again today, I opted to distract Steve from the over zealous in-laws-to-be. I walked into the big mansion that Peggy’s parents had rented out for the day, with the garment bag holding my suit slung over my shoulder, looking for Steve.

There were countless workers moving about the house, setting up flowers and tables and everything you would actually imagine for a wedding except for the fact that this was an engagement party. I walked around the mansion, asking anyone I could about his whereabouts until I found him upstairs in one of the bedrooms.

“Hey. What are you doing here so early?” He asked.

“Well you did ask me to come early.”

“I thought it would be like thirty minutes.”

“I’m just awesome like that. But I thought that I would come and help you out, keep you from going insane.”

“Yeah? And what’s the real reason?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Come on, give me a little credit. I think I know when you want something from me.”

“Well it’s not really needing something more than just wanting to get away as well.”

“From?”

“Y/N.”

“Why?”

“It’s not because I want to be away from her, but because I have to.”

“What?”

“When she told me she was moving out I was honestly sad to see her go. And I honestly hate living alone now but I think it was good that she left.”

“Why’s that?”

“While she was there I felt like I could cross any personal line that I wanted to and it would be okay. I let myself believe that she was there because she wanted to be with me not because the doctor was forcing her to be there. And I just left my heart on my sleeve and let it feel everything it wanted to about her. Her leaving made me put things back into perspective.”

“You know that she probably left for the same reason right?”

“I don’t know, she seemed pretty excited to go home.”

“What did she say?”

“That she should let me have my apartment back so that I can get back to my ‘bachelor ways’”

“Yeah doesn’t really sound like she left because she wanted to. You should have stopped her. God knows she has enough trouble getting down those stairs. If anything it’s a safety hazard for her to be back at her place.”

“I did try to stop her, she practically ran out of my apartment at the end of the day.”

“Not because she was excited to go home, but because she needed space from you. She obviously felt the same way and needed the space to put herself back into the right headspace.”

“Anyway...I came here to escape my women problems, so let’s do something else or talk about something other than me.”

“Okay. One last thing, because you’re trying so hard to bury your feelings for her and I wouldn’t want to keep you from that. But you do know that you’ll be stuck with her in Moscow for two weeks, right?”

“Wait what?”

“You didn’t know?”

“Well they told me that some of the crew were coming with us but I just figured they wouldn’t send the head of the department.”

“They thought that because she has some background with other tech departments and she can speak Russian fluently, that she would be a useful asset to have in Moscow.”

“Well I wasn’t planning for that.”

“Which means you probably just need to tell her how you feel.”

“Or I just need to shove down my feelings even further.” I hadn’t even told Steve about the kiss and God if that didn’t make me feel ten times more for Y/N than I had before. “I’ll figure out what to do but right now I need you to take my mind off of it. So what can I do to help?”

Steve and I moved around the huge house working on whatever Peggy’s mother assigned to us and occupying every second we could until it was time to go get ready for the party.

Putting on my suit, I stared at myself in the mirror, taking deep breaths and once again trying my hardest to get Y/N out of my mind. But when I couldn’t seem to find a good reason to hide out in the room any longer I went next door to Steve’s room where he was supposed to be getting ready.

I went to the door and hearing the noise beyond, I decided not to intrude, figuring that Peggy had found him before I could whisk him away.

So I was playing wingman now, doing absolutely everything I could to keep anyone from going up there to find them. I was walking downstairs when I bumped into Peggy’s mother.

“Hello Bucky.”

“Amanda.”

“Have you seen Steve around?”

“Oh, he asked for a few more minutes to get ready. I am all yours though, what can I do?” I held out my arm for her and she laced her arm through mine as I led her back downstairs.

She had a whole list of things apparently that still needed to be done. So like I volunteered, she put me to work.

It was maybe twenty minutes later that Steve walked downstairs, his hair a little ruffled but nonetheless looking good in his new suit. He walked over to me first.

“Have fun?” I asked with a smirk on my face.

“You heard?”

“I’ve been covering for you, Amanda is looking for you.”

“You’re the best.”

“Well I figured you needed it after having Peggy’s whole family in that apartment of yours all week.”

“Yeah. Thanks, It felt like I hadn’t seen her all week.”

“Just a couple more days and they’ll be gone and then we can have a real party.”

“Yeah, I love them but man they can get crazy when it comes to all of this stuff. I just want to marry Peggy.”

“And you will, but it may be a painful process.”

“Yeah, we’ll see.”

We both worked until the first guests arrived, giving Peggy her cue to show up and attached herself to Steve’s side. They greeted everyone who came in and I tried to stay near the food and drinks.

Somewhere amongst my hiding, Steve made his way back over to me grabbing a drink for himself and Peggy.

“I see you found a hiding place for the night.”

“Unintentionally.”

“You can’t hide from Y/N. She’s going to find you.”

“I’m just preparing myself.”

“Peggy says that she looks stunning.”

“She’s always beautiful.”

“Then why are you hiding, make a move.” Steve handed me one of his drinks and then grabbed my arm, pulling me back into the room where Peggy and her family were.

“Steve, wait. There’s something I didn’t tell you earlier.” I stopped him before we could get too close to anyone, but in perfect sight of the front door.

“Okay?”

“I messed up.”

“You may have to be more specific.”

“You can’t judge me.”

“No judgement here.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it. But um...I kissed Y/N.”

“What? That’s awesome man. I’m so happy for you.”

“N-no. How do I say this? She was asleep.”

“She was asleep?”

“It was the day after Jackson and her grandmother got arrested. And I called her doctor and he said that she would be good to use crutches which meant that she didn’t have to stay with me anymore. I thought it would be the last night that she would be with me and I just saw her laying there and I was thinking about all of the good times we had together and I kissed her, thinking it was my only chance.”

“And the problem?”

“I can’t—I can’t stop thinking about it.

“And you spend all of your time with her.”

“It was stupid.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty stupid.”

“Steve—”

“I—I want to help you I do, but this has gone on too long. You love her, just go and tell her.”

“I—” I looked over at the front door, having heard it open, to see Y/N, Wanda, and her date walk through. I went to turn back to Steve but did a double take when I saw what she looked like, my jaw hit the floor. I stared at how beautiful she was, the way her eyes sparkled, the way her body looked in that dress, the lipstick that made it hard to look anywhere else...

“You’re in way more trouble than you think.” He said, patting my shoulder before leaving me to face Y/N alone.

STEVE’S POV

I walked back over to Peggy, not even thinking for a second that Bucky saw me go. She was talking to some relative that I knew she didn’t know, from the look on her face alone, and politely excused the two of us before I tugged her off to somewhere more private.

“Thanks for that, I had no idea what he was talking about.” She said with a smile on her face.

“We need to tell them...tonight.” Was the only thing I could say.

“What?”

“Y/N and Bucky. We need to tell them that they kissed at my birthday party.”

“I thought we weren’t getting involved.”

“I’ve been trying not to but I can’t do this anymore. Bucky kissed Y/N.”

“What?”

“While she was asleep. The last night she stayed with him he kissed her and he says that he can’t stop thinking about it.” We both looked back through the doorway to the room, spying on Bucky and Y/N.

“And they’re practically drooling over each other.”

“Well that was always there, but even more so tonight.”

“You did good, Bucky looks good in that suit.”

“Just like you said, Y/N likes a navy suit.”

“Well, I did have a better dress for Y/N but we unintentionally teased her out of getting it. It may have been a little too sexy for this party anyway, but he would have eaten it up.”

“She looks good though.”

“I bought her the other dress anyway, I plan on giving it to her later so that she can wear it out on a date with him.”

“Which is why we need to tell them, give them the push they need.”

“They need a shove.”

“Yeah and this should do it.”

“I’ll take Y/N as soon as she’s done talking to him.”

“Good, I’ll take Bucky.”

Y/N’S POV

“Hi.” I said to him, staring a little too long at the man of walking sin.

“Hi. You look…” He paused for an uncomfortable amount of time, trying to find the right word.

“Good?”

“Beautiful.”

“Thank you.” I smiled real big, taking the complement to heart. I stared at him for just a moment before I turned around to face Wanda and Vision.

“Bucky, this is Wanda’s date Jarvis. Vision, Bucky.”

“Please call me Vision, my friends do.” They shook hands..

“It’s nice too meet you Vision. Wanda, you look incredible.” Bucky said, trying to break up some of the awkward tension.

“Thank you.”

“Peggy and Steve were just here and would love to see you guys. As you can probably see we have quite a large party here, so they may be difficult to find at first but if you do find find them feel free to rescue them from a relative.”

“That bad huh?” I asked and he laughed.

“There’s a lot of people here that I don’t even think her parent’s know.”

“I know quite a few English families just as big, it can be overwhelming.” Vision added.

“Yeah, but anyway we have refreshments through that door and waiters are walking around with flutes of champagne, so feel free to eat and drink as much as you want.”

Right as he said that a waiter passed by us and we took the remaining four flutes from him.

We started some small talk and were actually talking about Tony when Steve and Peggy rejoined us.

“You must be Vision.” Peggy stated. “Wanda has told us a lot about you.”

“Thank you for inviting me.” He said.

“I’m Peggy and this is Steve, my fiance.”

“Congratulations.”

“Thank you. Well I hope you guys are enjoying the party so far, but I am stealing these two ladies away for a bit, you boys may have them back once I have received the secrets I am in search of.”

“I swear if she’s not a lawyer, she’s a spy.” Steve commented and we all chuckled. Vision moved down to kiss Wanda on the cheek before Peggy whisked Wanda and I off to some secluded part of the huge house.

BUCKY’S POV

“I’m pretty sure she is a spy and you her willing accomplice.” I said as soon as the girls were out of earshot.

“More like stockholm syndromed captive.”

“Ooh.” I said, laughing.

“Kidding. I love Peggy. So Vision it looks like you may get in on the action tonight as a new member of the get-Y/N-and-Bucky-together club.”

“Come on, it’s not actually a club.” I tried to interrupt, just taking whatever he had to say at this point.

“Fine, it’s me, Peggy, Wanda and now you and our mission is for us to get these two stubborn heads together. But just a quick recap, if Wanda hasn’t already explained, Bucky here is in love with Y/N and we’re pretty sure it vice versa as well. Bucky here though, won’t admit his feeling for her because he’s on a reality TV show to fall in love with someone else. But I threw a Fourth of July party, also my birthday, freshly into their friendship in which the two don’t remember that they kissed.”

“Wait what?” I said, stopping him from saying anything else.

“Yeah...the girl you made out with, I remembered very clearly that it was Y/N, I just didn’t know how to tell you.”

“So why are you telling me now?”

“Because I’m hoping that it’ll give you the courage to tell her how you feel.”

“Mr. Stark and Wanda both speak very highly of Y/N, you would be very lucky to have her.” Vision said.

“I know, I am. I just don’t...I don’t really know what’s holding me back, not when I feel the way that I do.”

“This is about Nat.”

“No it’s not.”

“Nat is his ex who cheated on him while he was living in Russia. He lost his arm in a freak accident and she never showed to see if he was okay. He later found of she had been with another guy pretty much the whole time he was there.” Steve explained to Vision.

“I don’t know much about Y/N but she doesn’t seem like the person to do something like that.” He said in response.

“I know she wouldn’t.” I said.

“Then you’re just scared. You’re scared that she’ll turn you down, even though anyone with eyes could see that she’s just as much in love with you as you are with her.” Steve placed a hand on my shoulder, giving me a serious look.

“You won’t know unless you ask her.” Vision said with a small smile on his face.

“I’ll talk to her tonight.” I finally caved.

“Good.” Steve looked very pleased with himself. I just needed the girls to come back.

Y/N’S POV

We didn’t venture too far from the party scene, just far enough away to get a little privacy.

“You are pretty good at kidnapping us and in broad daylight no less.” I commented.

“The sun is going down, correction, and yes I am.” Peggy said.

“So what is it you wanted to talk to us about?” Wanda asked.

“Not so much as ask you anything, more like I need to tell Y/N something.”

“This can’t be good.” I said.

“It’s pretty good, we’re going to like it anyway.”

“Great.”

“You remember the fourth of July party that we threw for Steve?”

“I would use that term loosely for that night, don’t remember really anything other than the fact that it happened.”

“Something happened at the party.”

“Okay.”

“You and Bucky kissed that night.”

“What?” Wanda asked.

“Really?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“Oh thank god!” I had never felt so relieved in my life.

“What?” They both said.

“I thought I was going crazy.”

“You remembered?”

“Not exactly.”

“What do you mean?”

“First things first, you’re going to try and say I told you so and you guys going to get all weird but I don’t need that, I need you to be serious.”

“Okay.” They both replied.

“Ever since the accident I’ve been in this really weird place. I remember everything about the crash, I even remember the feeling of them cutting into me, piecing me back together. I don’t know how but I do. I used to close my eyes and see it over and over again and then after I finished that nightmare, the ones with Jackson started. It became this terrible loop and I felt it draining the life from me. I stayed close to Bucky because he made me feel normal, he reminded me that I’m a good person and that I’m not going crazy. And even though he couldn’t always keep the nightmares away, when I jolted awake, scared out of my mind, I had someone to grab onto, someone to root me back down. He reminded me that that wasn’t real. And the truth is I can’t imagine my life without him. And I know that puts me in a hard place because he’s on the show and I’m his friend, but um….I had this dream. And you can’t judge me for it, but I saw a glimpse of me and him. It was a kiss, a really good kiss but it was...everything. And even though the kiss was a dream it somehow felt real. I mean I know it wasn’t, Bucky and I had never kissed before, but in the dream it felt familiar, like we had before. And I’m not going crazy because it did happen. I just didn’t remember.”

“So what are you going to do now?” Wanda asked.

“I don’t know. Obviously he doesn’t remember either, otherwise he would have said something.”

“But what if he didn’t?”

“Just because I know I’m not crazy anymore, is not going to change the situation that we’re in now.”

“It changes everything. You had a dream of being with him and it was trying to remind you that you had kissed him before. Just walk over to him and do it again.”

“No. The only thing that changes is that I shouldn’t get drunk around him.”

“Come on. People don’t have sex dreams about their best friend and just stay best friends.”

“It wasn’t a sex dream, it was one kiss.” I lied.

“Either way, this confirms that you have feelings for him, ones that he needs to know about.”

“Do you love him?” Peggy said, her first time chiming in. She looked like she understood what I was thinking but at the same time she had this look in her eyes that made me want to tell her yes, to scream it so that everyone could know.

“I—” I had planned on telling both of them how much I was in love with Bucky, that was until I saw a very familiar face, one that I hadn’t seen in a long time.

“Ladies, I come baring drinks.” The man said carrying four chutes of champagne.

My jaw hit the floor. He passed a drink to Peggy first and then Wanda, saving his last glance for me.

“Y/N?” He looked just as surprised as I was.

“Michael.”

“Y/N.” Then he did the unexpected. He moved the few feet, that had been the only thing between us, grabbed me in his arms, as best as he could, and kissed me just as passionately as he did when we had been together…eight years ago.

I pulled away from him first, completely startled by the fact that the first man who I had ever loved was kissing me again.

“Michael.” I whispered, having a sudden flash of everything that we had had and of course our eventual break up.

“What are you doing here?” He asked me.

“Hold on! How does my brother know who you are?” Peggy asked me.

“Your brother?!”

“How do you know Peggy?” He asked.

“I...I thought I would never see you again.”

“Yeah.”

“Excuse me.” I whispered and hurried off as fast as my crutches would take me.

BUCKY’S POV

I walked in right as Michael kissed Y/N. Not only was I completely shocked but the confidence I had just had was completely gone.

I had no idea how Y/N knew Michael, I had no idea if this was something new or something old or something that had been going on for a while, but she looked pretty startled when she pulled away from him.

There were a lot of confused faces and questions being thrown around to each other as Y/N just looked like she wanted to burst into tears. Suddenly she started to walk away from the group, going as fast as her crutches would take her. I watched as she went, knowing that she would need someone to talk to, just like I had needed when I saw Nat again that first day of filming. So I pushed everything else aside and would try my hardest to be there for Y/N because that was what she needed right now...a friend.

YN’S POV/ MICHAEL’S POV (Bolded)

The plus side to having an engagement party in a mansion was the fact that this mansion had a pool, which was on the opposite side of where the party was happening.

So I took off my one shoe and moved my dress out of the way before I placed my foot in the cold water, needing the distraction to ease my mind.

Not only was it too crazy that I almost admitted out loud that I was in love with Bucky, which was something I’m sure I couldn’t take back, but Michael was here.

“Hey.” I heard and turned around to see bucky. He moved to sit on the ground next to me, unbuttoning his jacket, removing his socks and shoes and rolling up the legs of his pants so that he could put his feet in the water too.

“Hey.”

“I saw you rush out of there.”

“Yeah.”

“You want to talk about it?”

“Just something else to add to the crazy.”

“How crazy are we talking?”

“Michael...he was the first boyfriend I had after my marriage.”

“Michael Carter?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow.” I looked at him, glared at him really.

“Is that all you can say?”

“Honestly, it’s not that crazy.”

“To you maybe. He was the first man I ever loved.”

“What happened?”

“I’m only going to ask one more time, how do you know Y/N?” Peggy asked. She was the little sister and yet she always knew how to make me feel small.

Y/N had just stormed out of the house and honestly I felt bad for kissing her. I had no idea if she was seeing anyone or if she even wanted to see me again. God knows she had the right to be angry with me.

“What happened Michael?” She asked again.

“I left New York behind...you know, after Jackson and my grandmother. The plan had been to move to LA and try to figure things out. I started school at UCLA and worked on my Costume Design degree as long as I could...but I just couldn’t do it. I honestly hated living in LA, which is crazy now, but I hated it before. So I transferred without telling Asa and my dad.”

“To UT Austin right?”

“Yeah. And even though Austin was a crowded city it was so much better than LA. I think the biggest part was that maybe LA, so soon after living in New York, reminded me too much of them. So I lived in Austin all throughout college and somewhere in between I got this incredible job on campus dressing for the touring shows that came in to use the campus’ performance hall.”

“Well you know that I moved to Austin to be with my girlfriend and I got a job working at this theatre on the UT campus. I was exploring the other side of sound design and thought that working the touring shows would finally help me break through the design block I was in. So I would help these touring crews load in there sound equipment and I would program the board and help them put on mics during the show. And then my girlfriend broke up with me, leaving me alone in Austin at a job that I found surprisingly great but far away from home.”

“So I went to class and then went to work, finally doing something that I loved; Wardrobe. It wasn’t that I hated Costume Design, but I don’t guess I liked either. After I started this job I told my advisers that I didn’t want to do anything else. And so they made sure to give me more jobs with the touring shows, hoping that the people I would meet would give me opportunities to do exactly what I loved. I was working Next to Normal, super small show, but that’s where I met Michael.”

“2010, Next to Normal, that’s where I saw Y/N for the first time. She was in all black and honestly the most beautiful person I had ever seen. She was working with there Wardrobe Supervisor at the gondolas, which is where they keep all the clothes, and I was plugging in the power strips to light them. We hadn’t had the chance to put the curtains up yet to make the changing area private but she didn’t see me and ran into me when she walked out.”

“I was collecting laundry from the gondolas, that’s where they keep the costumes when they travel, and I was walking out of area and he bumped into me while he was plugging in the powers strips. I dropped the clothes that I had in my arms and he helped me pick everything up and then I rushed away from him.”

“You ran away from him?”

“I was nervous, he made me nervous.”

“But she ran away from me after I helped her pick up the clothes she had dropped.”

“She ran away from you?”

“Yeah. But anyway, after that we didn’t really speak to each other. We both worked the next couple of shows but I just was under the impression that she didn’t like me because every time I tried to talk to her she ran away.”

“We did work the next couple of shows together which made things super awkward, but with everything that had happened with Jackson I just got worried when he kept popping up and trying to talk to me.”

“So I stopped trying to go after her. I needed the job more than anything, so I focused on that.”

“He stopped trying to talk to me, and honestly I needed the job and the experience so I forgot about him.”

“Until the Summer…”

“The theatre I had been working at, usually didn’t do things over the summer, so I started looking into other theaters around the area, knowing that I didn’t have the option but to fulfill the rest of my lease period. So I started working at Zilker Hillside Theatre. They do a couple of shows in the park over the summer and eventually it would roll over past the summer and give me a shot at doing some work for ACL, Austin City Limits, you know one of the big music festivals.”

“I was taking a few classes over the summer to help make up what hadn’t transferred and decided to do something really fun so I started working at this outdoor theatre at Zilker Park. And I don’t know if it was fate or just coincidence, but he was there working the same shows, again.”

“And somehow she was there, again. So this time instead of pushing it off I went up to her and said what I had wanted to say before.”

“He walked up to me and started saying all of these things to me, things that I didn’t even know that he was thinking about. I mean we had really only met once and he ran into me, it didn’t give occasion to conversation. So I listened to what he had to say and honestly I was surprised. He was talking about how beautiful I looked that first day and how frustrating I had been every other time.”

“I may have said some nasty things. She was just so frustrating.”

“But then he asked me out.”

“But I still asked her out.”

“And surprisingly enough...I said yes.”

“And by some miracle, she said yes.”

“So we had lunch, because work usually went late and everything closed by the time we were done for the night. He took me to get street tacos and we sat at a picnic table and talked. It wasn’t super romantic or anything too out there for a date, but it was nice getting to know him.”

“I took her to a food truck to get street tacos. I know it's not the most romantic thing but I really just wanted a chance to get to know her better. So we sat at a picnic table and talked until it was time for us to go to work that night. And honestly it was surprising to me, how much I liked her.”

“He drove me to work later that night and honestly despite the way that I felt about him, I wasn’t sure about seeing him again. And I told him that the next time I saw him.”

“Only she had doubts. She told me that she liked me but she was nervous and standoffish the next time we saw each other. So I came up with a plan to show her that I was serious about seeing her again.”

“I didn’t think that he would do anything. I guess at that point in my life, with no family around and really no friends, my accent was still pretty strong back then, I was so terrified of everything that happened with Jackson that I didn’t want to get involved with him. But he didn’t take no for an answer. He was convinced that he could get me out on a second date, it only took me a week to say yes to him.”

“Everyday for the next week I gave her some sort of present, some way to show her that I was serious about taking her out again. I bought her flowers, chocolates, authentic Russian foods, I even bought her a new flashlight because hers was just terrible. And after a week of trying to convince her to say yes to a second date, she finally said yes.”

“I tried to say no to him, thinking it would be easier that way, I figured my past would always be too much for anyone. But then he started doing all of these sweet things for me, bringing me presents, food on the late nights, even a new flashlight because he said mine sucked. But, I don’t know, I guess that because he was willing to do so much for me, he convinced me that he deserved a second chance. So at the end of the week I finally said yes.”

“And it was as if things...clicked. She so easily became the center of my world.”

“We spent all of our time together after that. We just got so wrapped up in each other, it was truly a whirlwind summer romance.”

“It didn’t take me long to fall in love with her…”

“It didn’t take me long to fall in love with him…”

“We made it three months before everything changed.”

“And then everything changed.”

“You called me and told me that Bucky had been in that terrible accident. So I picked up everything and moved back to London just like mom had asked.”

“He said that a friend of his had been in a terrible accident and that he had to go back home.”

“Of course, I told her that I would stay in touch and that I would see her again.”

“He told me that he would stay in touch and that I would see him again.”

“But life caught up with me. Once Bucky moved in with us, it just became too easy with the time difference and the new job and all the new life in the house to forget about Austin and about Y/N.”

“He stopped talking to me, stopped trying to make it work and eventually we just stopped all together. Didn’t really need a break-up because it didn’t even last a week after he left. We never spoke again.”

“We didn’t make it a week long distance. I never spoke to her again.”

“I did love him, but there was always this creeping suspicion that it wasn’t going to last. Maybe it was the fact that he was my first boyfriend, despite the fact that I had been married before, or maybe it was because we weren’t in love as much as I thought we were.”

“I did love her, and I really did think that we were going to last. Maybe if I had stayed and kept us in our small little bubble, we would have lasted. Seeing her here makes me wonder why I ever left her. It’s like fate brought us back together.”

“How do you feel now?” Bucky asked me.

“Honestly, it’s nice to see him…”

“But?”

“But when he kissed me…”

“Nothing?”

“Not like it was before. Eight years too late I guess.”

“Eight years…”

“Yeah...why?”

“Oh my god.”

“What?”

“I’m the reason you guys broke up.”

“What?”

“Eight years ago...that’s when my accident happened.”

“Eight years ago?” I was thinking about everything that I knew and there were some things that weren’t adding up.

“Yeah...that’s when it happened. I stayed in London for a few years, went to a clinic for my depression and once I was mentally healthy I started having these ideas for prosthestics. I went to New York first to try to find someone to develop my idea and when that didn’t happen I moved to the next major city, working my way west until I stopped in LA. I met Tony and started developing the idea and halfway through the project he told me that I needed to go to physical therapy to build up the muscles in what was left of my shoulder. I met Luna the first time about six years after the accident, she was about four, and the rest is history.”

“Sorry, the way you talk about it makes it seem like…”

“Like it just happened?”

“Like your recovery was a lot faster.”

“I wish it had been. The past eight years have been really hard and it took me a long time to get here. You know that’s why I auditioned for the show, though.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I wanted a quick way to meet people outside of the hospitals and the labs and have someone who hadn’t or wasn’t currently working with my family or friends to make me normal again. That and the girls in real life didn’t want to date a man with a metal arm.”

“Bucky, you are normal. Just because you have a metal arm doesn’t make you any less normal. And they’re stupid for not seeing how amazing you are.”

Having a second to look at each other, now noticing just how close we were sitting, I turned to look at him, seeing that he was already looking at me. Our faces couldn’t have been but a few inches away from each other and I tried to take in a breath without him noticing.

I thought about what Peggy had said, the fact that we had kissed, which meant that I wasn’t crazy, which meant that my dream meant that I wanted to kiss him again? Now I was overthinking.

The truth of it all was that he was inches from me and I wanted to kiss him and it almost seemed like he did too. I moved forward just a bit and he did too.

“Y/N, I need to tell you something…”

“Okay.” We didn’t move away from each other, he took in a breath, licked his lips and opened his mouth to say what he needed to…

“I—”

“Y/N?”

The whole world stopped.

That voice hadn’t been Bucky’s and I really didn’t want to leave this moment, but…

I pulled away first, the curiosity getting the better of me, and looked over to see Michael looking at me, hopefully not seeing what almost happened since we were at such a weird angel.

“Michael.”

“If you have a second I would love to talk to you.”

“Sure. Give me a second.” I looked over at Bucky before I moved to stand. “You were going to say something?”

He opened his mouth to say something but closed his mouth before he, I think, could say what he actually wanted to say. Instead he said, “You really do look incredible...just stunning.”

“Thank you. You look very handsome too. I’m a sucker for a navy suit.”

“Thanks.”

“Yeah.” Was all I could think of to say back.

So instead of the both of us saying what we wanted to say, I moved my foot out of the pool and did what I could to dry off my foot before I put my shoe back on. Bucky pulled his feet out but stood and moved to help me up before he even thought about his shoes. He grabbed my crutches and held them out for me, being the perfect gentlemen and friend, once again helping me.

“Thanks.”

“I’ll see you inside.” He said, before he bent down and tried his best to dry his feet off.

I moved across the backyard area to Michael, mine and Bucky’s moment officially having died.

BUCKY’S POV

As soon as I was able to get my feet dried off I put my shoes back on and went back inside to the party.

I felt like an idiot.

I should have said something to her while I had the chance and yet here I was putting my wet feet into dry socks, admitedly the worst feeling, and walking back into the crowded room while Y/N was probably laughing it up and falling back in love with Michael Carter.

I walked over to Steve whose smiling face fell when he saw my expression.

“That doesn’t look like the face of a man who finally admitted to the girl he loved that he loved her. You froze, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t freeze...I was interrupted.”

“Sure.”

“I was...by Michael.”

“By Michael? Carter?”

“Yeah, apparently Michael was Y/N’s first love while he was living in Austin. She was in school and they both worked for the same theatre.”

“This is a sign.”

“What that she belongs with him? You’re supposed to be on my side, just because you’re marrying Peggy—“

“No, if they were together while he was in Austin that also means that he left her behind in Austin when he came back home to help us out with you.”

“I’m not getting a point here.”

“She wasn’t meant to be with him. If it was meant to work out it would have worked out. But instead he forgot all about her.”

“I’m still not getting the ‘sign.’”

“Not a sign for him, a sign for you, to tell her.”

“She doesn’t like him like that anymore.”

“But can you say that he doesn’t like her?”

“She doesn’t want to get back with him.”

“That’s never stopped him before.”

Then I thought about the way he made her say yes to a second date, how she hadn’t wanted to pursue him and yet she still managed to say yes to him.

I had to do something, but I didn’t know what.

I stayed close to Steve and Peggy as the party continued, waiting for Y/N and Michael to come back from wherever they were talking. And when she did, she didn’t look happy. She headed straight for the champagne.

I walked over to her and I saw relief flash over her face when she saw that it was me, but nothing but worry grew on my face when I saw the tears that were threatening to spill over.

I placed my hand on her back and led her to stand behind a wall that would shield us from the wondering eyes of Peggy’s family. I had my back against the wall and I wrapped her in my arms letting her head come to rest against my chest and her just taking in deep breaths.

“Thanks for stealing me away.” She said after sometime.

“It looked like you needed someone to hide with.” And then she laughed. It was the most magnificent sound.

“God, I’m a mess aren’t I?”

“A beautiful mess.”

“Thanks.”

“No, but seriously, it’s just been a rough couple of weeks, it’ll get better.”

“I’m not so sure about that one.”

“Michael isn’t a big problem, not after Jackson.”

“Yeah.”

“Just tell him exactly what you feel, tell him whether or not you want to see him again—”

“I don’t.”

“Then tell him to leave you alone.”

“But he’s Peggy’s brother, she’s my best friend, I feel I should be a little nicer than that.”

“Then tell him that you don’t want to see him in a romantic way again. It’s been eight years, he can’t just expect you to have waited for him.”

“You’re right.”

“Maybe just this once. Ready to go back?”

“Sure…”

“That didn’t sound very sure.”

“Just take me back before I change my mind.”

So we walked back into the room and joined Peggy and Steve, who were later joined by Wanda and Vision.

And just like that, the night went on.

Once Peggy’s parents saw that Steve and Peggy stayed in the room long enough to do the things that they wanted, the more official part of the party started. Her parents talked about what Peggy was like as a kid and how from a very young age she always showed signs of becoming a lawyer. They talked about there love for Steve and how he had already become part of the family and they told everyone how excited they were to have him officially in the family.

Then it was my turn.

They finished there speech with a toast, everyone taking a sip from there champagne glasses. I met them up at the front of the room where they both greeted me before I took over.

“For those of you who don’t know me, my name is James Barnes. I have known Steve my whole life and I figured that I should probably say something on behalf of his side of the family. But yeah...growing up with this kid, I thought I had been good to go on this whole best man speech deal, but I will say that Steve did ask me not to bring up any embarrassing stories, any ex-girlfriends, or really anything else that I had originally planned on talking about. So that really left me with nothing. Instead I need the extra time to come up with something as mind blowing as a best man speech so until then I just have something quick to read. So…”

I pulled a piece of paper out of my jacket, something I had been holding on to for a very long time.

“‘To my son,

I’m sorry I couldn’t be here today, God knows I wanted to. There were so many things that I never got to do with you, so many things that I never got to say, but no matter, what you were always my pride and joy. When I found out I was pregnant with you I couldn’t remember a happier day, I remember the smile on your father’s face when I finally told him and I remember all the plans that we had for you, even before you were bigger than a peach. But the realization that you were actually coming hadn’t hit me until I lost your father. I was so terrified by the thought of raising you alone, heartbroken and alone, and yet that all changed the second I met you. There had been no instruction manual, no one to tell me how to raise a child, and yet somehow I didn’t completely mess it up. I know that I made mistakes with you, I know that there were times that you hated me and that just came with the territory of being a mom. But everything I ever did was because I loved you.

But there will come a day when you decide that you want to spend the rest of your life with someone and I know I won’t be there for you. I know it will be hard and I know that it won’t seem fair that I couldn’t stick around, but just know that I am always with you. And because I know you, I know that Peggy will be your wife someday. And if she is anything like you describe than I know that you’ll be okay. (Bucky, if he doesn’t end up with her please don’t read that)’” I stopped and everyone laughed.

“She was always smart and probably knew well before they did that they would get married one day. But anyway back to the letter. ‘So don’t worry about messing up or worry about the little things that make life seemingly hard. That’s what you have each other for and at the end of the day, no matter what happens, everything will be alright. So love each other, grow together, enjoy the life you have together, because at the end of the day all that matters is the life that you spend with her.

So make every moment count. I know I did.

I will always love you,

You mother’”

There was clapping after I finished the letter and I had to wipe away a tear before it had the chance to fall down my face.

“Steve, you mother gave me that letter the last time I saw her. She said that I would read this to you when I thought the time was right and I guess if and when you decided to get married to Peggy. So Steve and Peggy, not only has it been the greatest privilege getting to be your friends but it has been an honor getting to watch the two of you fall in love with each other. From friends, to more than friends, and soon as husband and wife. You two are proof that two people can love each other so deeply that words just can’t describe it; soulmates as close as it would get. I know that your mother wanted to be here, she would have loved to see you marrying Peggy, and as fate would have it, your mother somehow thought I would be the best person for all of this.” The room laughed. “So I promise to be there for you guys in any way you could need me and I promise to keep your mother’s memory alive as best as I can.” I lifted my champagne flute towards the ceiling.

“To Steve and Peggy.” Everyone repeated after me and took a sip from their flutes. I moved away from the front of the room and walked over to Steve. He immediately grabbed me in a big hug.

“Thank you.” He said, with tears running down his face.

“Don’t thank me, this was all her.”

“God I miss her.”

“I do too.”

He pulled away from me and Peggy’s mom went back up to announce that cake would be served now and that the rest of the night would consist of dancing and mingling. Of course Steve and Peggy had a few presents to open, leaving the four of us to fend for ourselves again.

Wanda and Vision went to the makeshift dance area, leaving me with Y/N.

“Your speech was really great.”

“Thank you. I had to wait a long time for those two to get together.”

“Really?”

“You want to dance?”

“Are you going to explain to me what happened?”

“Let’s dance.”

“Okay.” I grabbed her crutches, propping them up against the wall and lead her over to where everyone else was dancing, holding up most of her weight as we moved. I wrapped my left arm around her waist, holding her off her bad foot, and held her hand in mine. She moved her empty hand to my neck. “So?”

“Steve has always been in love with Peggy. When we were in high school, Peggy’s father moved the family to New York to help the family business. We were just starting our freshman year of high school and then she walks in, it was almost automatic that they became best friends. She so easily joined our little pack and it was the three of us all throughout high school. Of course she didn’t know that he was in love with her, but we would later find out that she was in love with him too. Nothing ever happened though, until our senior year and Steve finally got the balls to ask her to prom. That’s when it changed, they came back from that dance as boyfriend and girlfriend and the rest is history. All three of us ended up moving to California and her family left New York and went back to the UK and you know the rest.”

“I understand now.”

“Understand what?”

“Why they’re pushing us together.”

“I guess it would make sense, given how long it took them.”

“Yeah.”

It got awkward after that, I didn’t know if I should tell her now, that I loved her, or if it was just poor timing because of the Michael thing. But we just danced and I thought about what I should do and subsequently went through every single outcome of me finally telling her.

“Can we interrupt?” Peggy asked followed by Steve.

“Sure.” I said. I placed Y/N completely back on the ground and let Steve grab her before I started to dance with Peggy.

“So…?” She asked.

“What?”

“Steve told me you were going to tell her tonight.”

“That was before Michael.”

“Leave it to Michael to ruin everything.”

“I wanted to tell her.”

“Then just do it. Drive her home and tell her everything.”

“Did you finish going through the contract?”

“Not yet, I want to make sure I go through everything with a fine toothed comb. So far it’s looking good though.”

“Good, maybe I’ll just tell her once we know for sure. She seemed pretty upset earlier about something Michael said.”

“The most important part is that you tell her.”

“I plan on it, I do.”

“Good...and Bucky?”

“Yeah.”

“Your speech was perfect.”

“You know if people keep telling me that, I’m not going to be able to make an even better speech at the wedding.”

“You better get started now.”

“Sorry I’m going to steal my fiance back now.” Steve said, tapping on my shoulder.

“Where’s Y/N?” He just nodded over in her direction as she danced with Michael.

“I’m going to get a drink.”

Y/N’S POV

I was dancing with Steve, perfectly happy and talking about his mom, when Michael walked up to us.

“Can I cut in?”

“I don’t have anything else to say to you.”

“Please Y/N?” I took a second and looked at Bucky before I looked back at Michael. I just wanted to be done with him.

“Fine.”

So Steve left me alone with him and Michael wrapped me in his arms, the two of us slowly swaying to the music.

“I know you’re mad at me.”

“What gave it away?”

“I know that what I did was wrong, but I feel like it can’t be a coincidence that we’re both here tonight.”

“It is. Peggy is my best friend and the only reason I am talking to you is because I look forward to my friendship with her. Which means that you and I are going to have to be civil towards each other.”

“So this is about Peggy?”

“Of course it is.”

“And what’s happening with you and Bucky?”

“That‘s not what this is about.”

“So you admit that there’s something there.”

“No, I admit that there’s nothing here between us.”

“How can you say that? We loved each other.”

“Loved...past tense.”

“Anyway, I didn’t come over here to argue with you. If you’re willing to to try and make it work between us, non-romantically, than so am I.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I also came to ask a favor.”

“Okay?”

“A lot of my family is staying with Peggy and Steve at their apartment, but the rest of the family is staying at a hotel nearby. Because I flew in so late I wasn’t able to get a room and I was wondering if I could sleep on your couch and maybe we could talk a little bit more about how to make this work.”

“You’re not going to try and make a move on me are you?”

“I would never do that.”

“I have to ask because you always had some move to play against me.”

“I wouldn’t call that a play...more like a romantic gesture.”

“Well now I would call it a play.”

“And like I said I would never do that to you.”

“Fine I guess you can stay over...for Peggy’s sake.”

“I’m leaving town tomorrow, so I’ll try not to be a bother.”

“Okay.”

I looked behind me over at Bucky and waved him over. He came over to me and I put an arm around him so he could move me back over to where my crutches were.

“Thanks.” I said to him.

“Everything okay?”

“Talking to him, just opens up so much that I buried. I thought that everything with Jackson was done and then Michael is related to my best friend and he helped me through a lot of that but I’m so mad at what he did, I don’t even want to look at him. But he’s Peggy’s brother and I can’t ignore him for the rest of my life.”

“Yeah that would be kind of hard.”

“I swear it’s like I’m trying so hard to move on and every other aspect of my life wants me to stay behind.”

“Okay, well Jackson is gone, you don’t plan on seeing Michael again, so you just need to make it through the rest of the week.”

“Just tonight actually, Michael said he’s leaving town tomorrow.”

“Good, you’ll be done with him in time for filming.”

“I guess I can make it one more day.”

“You’re the strongest woman I know.”

“Thanks.”

We went through the rest of the party, couldn’t have been but an hour more, talking to Steve, Peggy, Wanda, Vision and her parents about some of the planning things that needed to be done. They talked about her dress and about finding a venue, whether or not it was going to be in London or in LA, and of course the budget.

Talking about the budget was insane. I knew that Peggy was rich but when it came to her parents paying for the wedding I swear that they must have thought that this was a royal wedding. Peggy tried to keep the budget low, not wanting to do something too big, but her parents ended up saying that they would just “see how it went.” They told Peggy not to worry about price that her and Steve could have anything they wanted.

Which was the perfect way to end that conversation and for Peggy to steal Wanda and I away for a moment.

She brought us into one of the bedrooms downstairs where there were two presents sitting on the bed.

She handed me the flat rectangular one and Wanda the small bag.

“At the same time ladies.”

So I opened the box and inside the box was the second dress that I tried on, the one that they so heavily teased me about. I took the dress out of the box and saw a note card underneath it. It read: I can’t tie the knot without you. Will you be my Maids of Honor?

I looked over at Wanda who had the same notecard as me and we both smiled back at Peggy.

“Of course.” I said first.

“I would love to.” Wanda said after me.

We both stepped forward and brought Peggy into a group hug.

“So what do you think of your presents?”

I held up the dress and held it up against me.

“No matter what you guys said about it, this was always a great dress. Thank you. What did you get Wanda?”

“Well I got movie vouchers, a gift card for a very fancy restaurant and a gift card for a lingerie store.”

“Third date essentials.”

“Oh my god.” She said with a laugh.

“It would seem that someone is more concerned with getting us laid than anything else.”

“Well it wouldn’t hurt.”

“You’re crazy.” I said, folding the dress back up and neatly putting it in the box.

“Crazy about you guys...my maids of honor.”

“This is going to be a long wedding.” I said to Wanda and we both laughed.

“I haven’t even had the chance to practice my bridezilla mode, yet.”

“Let’s hope that side doesn’t come out.” Wanda said.

“We still have a long time before the big day.”

“I just can’t see you as a bridezilla.” I commented.

“Honestly me either, but I think I should at least do it once...for the experience.”

“Let’s go back to the party.” Wanda and I just laughed at her and then made our way back over to the boys with gifts in hand.

“Hey.” Steve said to Peggy.

“Well now that the girls are back and your mom has released me from my duties for the night, I am going to head home. I’ve got to be up for filming super early because they cancelled the scenes I was supposed to shoot for the party.” Bucky said to the group.

“Well thanks for being here, I know it was hard to move around your schedule.” Steve said giving him a hug and then Bucky moved to Peggy, giving her one too.

“I wouldn’t have missed it.” Then he turned to Vision and Wanda. “Vision it was nice to meet you and Wanda, I’ll see you tomorrow.” He shook Vision’s hand again and gave Wanda a hug.

“Bright and Early.” She said. Then he turned to me. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the side of my head.

“I will also see you tomorrow.” He said to me.

“Not bright and early though, because I will be at the studio.”

“Still tomorrow.”

“Yeah.”

Bucky left after that and it didn’t take long for Wanda, Vision and I to want to duck out too. I was hugging Steve goodbye when Michael walked over to us, clearly waiting to follow me home.

Peggy looked at my strangely and came over to me as Wanda and Vision said goodbye to Steve.

“You know that dress, the one that you look hot in?”

“You gave it to me.”

“If I find out you wore that for my brother, I’m never going to talk to you again.”

“I don’t plan on it.”

“Good, because that is strictly for you and Bucky to enjoy.”

“Whatever you say.”

“It is my life goal to see the two of you together.”

“That’s low, you’re a top rated lawyer and your number one goal is getting me—”

“I was being sarcastic...mostly.”

“Shut up.” I pulled her into my arms and gave her a hug before the three of us started to walk away, Michael following close behind us.

I turned to Michael as I climbed into the car.

“You can just follow us.”

“Okay.” He walked over to his car leaving me alone with Wanda and Vision.

“What are you doing?” Wanda asked as soon as we were alone and driving.

“At the moment? Sitting in your car.”

“No...I mean with Michael.”

“There is nothing going on there. He needs a couch to sleep on and he asked me if he could sleep on mine. And in the interest of continuing my friendship with Peggy I have decided to curb my hatred for him to try to be civil, for Peggy’s sake.”

“You hate him?”

“Of course I hate him! God, he broke my heart. I loved him and he disappeared. I tried for days to hear from him to get any sign that he was even alive and despite the time difference he could have at least texted and told me that he landed or made it home or really anything. I can’t even tell you the amount of times I just assumed that Jackson had gotten to him. It finally got so bad that I called Asa and told him everything. That I left UCLA, moved to Austin, and everything about Michael. I was so paranoid that I begged Asa to find something to make sure that Jackson hadn’t done anything to him. You want to know what it took to make sure he was okay?”

“What?”

“One phone call, to his mother. That was all it took to verify that he was alive and that I had gone crazy.”

“Y/N, you didn’t go crazy. I mean you were married to a psychopath, I probably would have assumed that he had something to do with it too.”

“I spent so much time after he left trying to come up with scenarios that he was ok. I even blamed myself thinking I had said something in my texts or in my voicemails but I couldn’t come to terms with the fact that he just stopped talking to me. That’s what my grandparents and Jackson did to me, they made me second guess everything. So yes I hate him for reminding me of exactly what happened to me and for making me fall in love with him when I never wanted to and for being Peggy’s brother. I have to relive everything when I see him, so don’t think for one second that this is something that I want to do. This is something I have to do to be friends with Peggy.”

“I’m sorry.” She said. “Do you want me to stay with you tonight?”

“No, I feel like yelling and I know my neighbors wouldn’t appreciate that so I’m just going to go to bed and hope for the best tomorrow. And you have to be at work early.”

“You’re my best friend and if you need me I’m there.”

“Unfortunately I think I need to do this alone.”

“Ok. But I’m bringing you coffee in the morning.”

“Well I won’t stop you from doing that.” Her and Vision both laughed at me.

They dropped me off in front of my apartment after I let Clyde know that I had someone sleeping over tonight. I got out of the car and waved goodbye before they drove away. I started making my way up the stairs as Michael parked his rental; he quickly came up behind me.

“Let me help you.” He put his hands on my arms, but I pulled away from him.

“I’m fine.”

“Okay.”

He stayed behind me as I made my way upstairs and waited for me to unlock the door. I immediately walked into my bedroom and grabbed some spare sheets and a pillow for him, placing them on the couch.

“I know that you’re mad at me but I would really like—”

“I don’t want to talk right now. I am exhausted and there are a lot of things that have to be said, so I’m going to wait to do this in the morning where I am less likely to get the cops called on me.”

“Okay.”

Then I left him alone in the living room, closing the door behind me. I got undressed, putting on the coziest pajamas I owned, and wiped off my makeup before I climbed into bed. I grabbed my phone and looked at it, wanting to talk to Bucky, just to feel less mad, but decided against texting him because he was probably asleep.

I plugged it in and set it down on my bedside table but picked it back up when it buzzed.

BUCKY: You awake?

YN: Unfortunately

BUCKY: Just wanted to make sure you got home okay I smiled at the text before I responded, automatically feeling better.

YN: I did. Thanks

BUCKY: Are you in bed?

YN: Yeah. Trying to calm myself down, the whole Michael thing has me pretty mad.

BUCKY: I’m sorry.

YN: It’s not your fault he’s an idiot

BUCKY: I bet I can distract you

YN: Can you?

BUCKY: What are you wearing? 😏

I stared at the text for a long time. He didn’t mean what I thought he meant by that, right? He couldn’t possibly think that sexting me was going to distract me or make me feel any better.

BUCKY: Y/N?

BUCKY: Hey I was just kidding. Just trying to be funny. I obviously took it too far. I’m sorry.

YN: It’s okay. I’m just going to go to bed. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.

BUCKY: Goodnight Y/N

YN: Goodnight Bucky

I put my phone back on the bedside table and turned away from it, opting to not answer any more texts.

I woke up to my alarm and hesitantly picked up the smell of food being cooked...in my kitchen. I climbed out of bed and walked out into the living room, seeing that Michael wasn’t sleeping but in my kitchen cooking food.

“Good morning.” He called out. I walked over to him.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m cooking you breakfast. I was hoping to get done before you woke up so I could bring it to you, but since you’re already here, grab a seat and I’ll serve you.”

“No.”

“Y/N, you sure do make it hard for a man to woo you.”

“Woo me? Letting you stay with me was nothing more than me being nice. This was never about you getting the opportunity to wiggle your way back into my life.”

“I know that you’re mad at me, but I came here to win you back. To show you that I’m different now and I can be better than I was before. I just need you to give me—”

“No. I hate you! You don’t get to just show up after eight years and find me waiting for you. You left and never talked to me again. I thought you were dead, I thought my ex-husband had killed you, I thought so many things trying to come up with some explanation for why you would completely give up on something good. And I never got one!”

“There were things happening—”

“No! That’s not an excuse for not letting someone you love know that you were okay! And the fact that you would ever think that I would give you another chance is absolutely ridiculous.”

“It’s not that ridiculous. What we had was good. We loved each other and I know I messed up, but I still love you and if you could give me a second chance I feel that I could prove to you that you can love me again too.” He reached out to hold my face in his hands but I pulled away.

“No. No, I...I can’t. You broke my heart and every time I see you I think of everything that I’ve ever been through. You were the first person that I loved after the nightmare that my ex-husband made me live. I will always be grateful that you helped me through that, even though you had no idea, but I never want to see you again. And I know that’s not possible because we are both a part of Peggy’s life, but dating you again would be a mistake. If the boy I loved is still in there than I know that you deserve to be happy but I’m the last person who could ever make you happy.”

“I just don’t believe that.”

“Well you’re going to have to.”

“What can I do to convince you?”

“There’s nothing you can do!”

“I still love you!”

“I’m in love with someone else!”

I took in a deep breath. I just said that out loud. And God if it wasn’t the best feeling in the world. I felt like everything had just amplified to even a higher level. I felt like there was nothing in the world that could bring me down. I tried my hardest to hide the smile that came to my lips.

“Is it Barnes?”

“You don’t get to know. You have no right to my life anymore and you need to leave.”

“So that’s it? You’re going to give up on what we had?” I ushered him back to the living room where he started to collect his things.

“That’s it. And I’m pretty sure you did that.”

“Yeah but I made a mistake.”

“Yeah you did because I’m awesome and you have to live with the fact that you lost something amazing. And now I am in love with someone else and he is...incredible and everything I could ever want.”

“That’s great.” He mumbled.

“And I need you to leave so that I can get ready for work.”

“Right.”

He gathered his things in his bag and headed for the door, I following him. He opened the front door of the apartment and I held the door as he turned around to look at me one last time.

“I’m never going to forget you.”

“My advice...please do. I was serious before and even though I hate you, you do deserve to be happy. So forget about me and find someone who can actually do that for you, because it’s not me.”

“Goodbye Y/N.”

“Goodbye Michael.”

Then I closed the door behind him, physically and metaphorically. What a great way to start the morning.

BUCKY’S POV

I pulled up to Y/N’s apartment with two cups of coffee in the drink holders and a practiced apology in my head.

Before I sent that text I knew it had been a bad idea and yet I had still sent it. But I figured at the very least I could bring her a cup of coffee and try to make it right, knowing that we both had a long day ahead of us and knowing that I felt so bad about that text that I barely slept.

I pulled up to an empty parking spot opposite of where I saw Y/N’s car parked and climbed out, reaching for the cups of coffee. But I heard voices coming from one of the apartments and looked up instead of grabbing the coffees. I saw Y/N in her pajamas talking to someone with a bag slung over there shoulder, door opened, as if the two were saying goodbye. She turned back and went inside, closing the door behind her. When the man turned around you could say I was pretty upset?

What was Michael doing at Y/N’s apartment?

PART TEN

Tell Me What You Think Here

Tags: @fangirl1802, @seargantbcky, @lust-for-pan, @38leticia, @barnes-and-noble-girl, @karipaleta, @capandbuck, @camillechan, @findacauseandserveit, @audasia25, @kendallefire , @alicerozenju, @snuggleducky, @mell-bell, @lifeasabookbutterfly, @the-red-world-of-jess-chibi, @iamwarrenspeace, @ssweet-empowerment, @chook007 , @juliagolia87, @jjsoccer11, @smol-flower-kiddo, @mrsdaamneron, @isaxhorror, @barnesism

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15001700tt · 4 years

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Descendants of the Moon

Earthquakes Don’t Care

Descendants of the Moon Masterlist

word count: 2,755 Tag list: @chastja @multi-fan-trash @serpentityx @syublush Dm me if you want to be on the tag list!

Word Count: 1,469

Key: Italics- things that happened in the drama but do not hold any importance to the story line

Key: Bold- Dialogue said in the Drama

Episode 6:

*when he goes back to Korea and meets up with Dae Young in the bar, and the whole Delta Force is there and they try to run. * *a bunch of stuff in Korea* *Ok this episode is literally all over the place, it’s basically Shi Jin pining and Mo Yeon regretting her choices. *

-In the Medi-cube where Mo Yeon and Myung Ju, they were having a conversation.-

“Yay, my two friends are finally confronting their old demons” Yoo Ji jokes. Myung Ju smiled but Mo Yeon looked distracted.

“Come, we're going to take a photo!” Doctor Song motioned for Mo Yeon.

“Go, I'll take care of things here, that's what you were here for anyways,” Myung Ju commented offhandedly. Yoo Ji narrowed her eyes at her, she knew their history but she thought that maybe they would be over it since now they're pursuing two different men. Mo Yeon scoffed and went outside, Yoo Ji following her after giving Myung Ju a pointed look.

“When you get back, make sure to give the chairman my greetings” Yoo Ji joked trying to lighten the mood.

“When will you be leaving?” Mo Yeon rolled her eyes at Yoo Ji’s comment.

“I am not sure, I think in a few months, usually when my supervisor sends me on these projects they don't tell me when I come back.” Yoo Ji kicked stones beneath her feet. She didn't know what she would do once she leaves, or how her situation with Gwang Nam would be.

“I am not sure I even want to go back right now” Yoo Ji admitted, remembering the night before when she told Mo Yeon about what happened between Gwang Nam and her. Mo Yeon had scoffed and told her that Captain Yoo had used a version of that Gwang Nam did with her.

“It seems they all use the same advances” Yoo Ji had smiled but she wasn't sure where she stood with him anymore.

Yoo Ji was brought back to the present when Mo Yeon sighed, “I think that makes both of us.”

They ended up taking the pictures and Woo Geun told them their surprise about the helicopters. Yoo Ji was not one to hide, but it seemed like she was doing that quite often, Gwang Nam seemed like he didn't care anymore.

Gwang Nam searched for Yoo Ji thinking she would come and bid her friends goodbye, and that would be how he would catch her where she can’t run, but it seems she was still in hiding. He mentally smiled, it was kinda cute in the beginning how she was avoiding him but now he just wanted to talk to her about it. He expressed his annoyance the night before to his friends.

“It's like I am the plague,” he groaned.

“What did you do?” Woo Geun asked

“I kissed her” Gwang Nam groaned again. All three men hollered.

“Maybe she’s shy” Shi Jin tried to comfort him.

“We’re still talking about the same Yoo Ji that kicked my ass the first week she arrived here, right? Shy my ass” Cheol Ho snorted.

“She seems to have taken a lesson from Mo Yeon’s book, and is doing the same thing” Shi Jin stated. Gwang Nam groaned once more.

“Why are women so confusing?”

“You can say that again” Shi Jin shook his head before calling it a night, he had to travel back to Korea tomorrow morning.

Now that her friends are leaving he thought maybe that will leave him more room to have that conversation with Yoo Ji. Before they all loaded the helicopters and took off, he went to excuse himself from Woo Geun as he was the stand-in as both their leader and deputy were not on base.

“Are you going to try to find her?” he asked when Gwang Nam finished his report. He relaxed his posture and nodded.

“Hopefully we’ll be able to come to an understanding.”

“Don't come back a single man, Piccolo” Woo Geun teased, Gwang Nam smiled back.

“Yoo Ji?” Gwang Nam called out in the common room. He didn't see her but he heard a small ‘oh shit’ and he figured that she was trying to sneak away without anyone noticing, she seems to have been doing that a lot lately.

“Can we talk about us?” he asked her

“What do you want to talk about?” She avoided his eyes.

“Did I cross a line?” he asked, he didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable.

“Uh, no, that’s not what I-” the earth started rattling and shaking. Yoo Ji didn't finish her sentence, Gwang Nam realized the severity of the earthquake and crossed the small distance between them and shielded her while making their way out of the room. They were on the second floor, and so they had to make their way out of the building. Once they were out they tried to not be near anything that can fall on top of them. It shook for quite a while and there was a lot of damage. Once the earthquake had ceased, Gwang Nam and the other soldiers gathered to help anyone who was hurt or stuck. Yoo Ji went to the Medi-cube to check on the rest of the medical team and Myung Ju.

“Myung Ju! Myung Ju!” she called out when the doors opened and she came through, she seemed fine.

“I am not hurt, are you?” she asked Yoo Ji. Yoo Ji responded with a shake of her head, she was still shaken up pretty badly, this was so unexpected.

Myung Ju was called to one of the beds, Yoo Ji got closer and saw a groaning Ki Bum on the bed.

“He dislocated his shoulder” one of the soldiers filled her in. Myung Ju propped Ki Bum up and felt around his shoulder before popping it back into place, Ki Bum let out a loud groan of pain but other than that he seemed fine.

Yoo Ji went around helping those who needed it when Doctor Sang Hyun and Mo Yeon came running in.

“ Where's Ha Ja Ae? Ha Ja Ae! ” Sang Hyun’s panicked voice filled up the room.

“Be quiet! I'm right here” Nurse Ha scowled the anxious man while holding a bunch of materials.

“Is there an Army doctor?!” the two way radio strapped to Myung Ju called out.

“Lieutenant Yoon is here! What’s the situation?”

“The solar plant collapsed” his voice barely came through with the static of the walkie talkie, but everyone heard him. They all started filing into cars to get there as the first medical team.

Yoo Ji moved to get into the cars with them but Mo Yeon stopped her, Yoo Ji didn't let her speak though.

“I know first aid and I can help once the reporters start coming through, I have to come” Yoo Ji looked at her with a heated look. Mo Yeon nodded her head solemnly.

They got there and everyone filed in immediately and started helping the soldiers with the injured workers. Ki Bum even though he had an injured shoulder went around and helped everyone get the necessary equipment and materials, and that's what Yoo Ji helped around with. Gwang Nam wanted to protest when he saw that Yoo Ji was tagging along but he knew that it would be fruitless as they needed all hands on deck.

She helped around until it got dark and slowly everyone started to slow down. Yoo Ji had not sat down since she arrived but she was helping a couple of injured people. Gwang Nam was seated with Ki Bum and other soldiers when he saw her run towards someone to aid them with first aid. He kept watching her until she was done. He got up and went over to her and grabbed her shoulder, startling her.

“I didn't mean to startle you, you should take a break, you’ve been running around for the last 6 hours” he suggested. She looked at him with a drive that he hadn't seen in anyone before, she was exhausted, she couldn't deny that but she wanted to do as much as she could.

“I can still help,” she told him. He nodded his head but still moved her towards the seating area.

“Your time here is done”

“It's done when I say it's done” she affirmed.

“You can take a little break” he tried again, they heard the sound of the helicopter, Cheol Ho looked at Gwang Nam, it must be back up. They weren't debriefed on who’s on that plane but they had a very strong feeling both their leader and deputy would be on that plane.

He handed Yoo Ji a water bottle and offered her a smile, before leaving with Cheol Ho and the other soldiers to greet their supervisor.

#dots #Descendants of the Sun #descendants of the moon #descendants of the sun fanfic #kdrama #kdramas #kdrama fanfictions #kdrama fanfic #OC #Yoo Ji (OC)#dotm

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tenroseforeverandever · 6 years

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Dear Father Christmas... Chapter 2 December 24, 2017

MASTERPOST

Characters: Tentoo; Rose Tyler; Jackie Tyler; Pete Tyler; Tony Tyler; OC Hope Tyler-Noble; OC Charlotte Tyler-Noble; OC Wilfred Tyler-Noble

Rated: Teen

Tags: Family!Fic; Kid!Fic; Pete’s World; Letters to Santa; Christmas Fic; Family; Fluff; Hurt/Comfort; Angst; Romance; Love

Summary: When Rose Tyler was little, she always wrote a Christmas wish list to Father Christmas. As she grew older, the wish list became more of a letter to someone she could confide in once a year, but she fell out of the habit somewhere along the way. Now, as a new mum, celebrating her daughter’s first Christmas, Rose takes up writing her Christmas letter to Father Christmas once again.

Rose’s Christmas letters are excerpts from her life with her beloved Tentoo and their children in Pete’s World, written once a year, for each of 31 years.

Notes:

Part of my These Two Hearts series

Written for prompts provided by @doctorroseprompts over on Tumblr for their 31 Days of Ficmas celebration. I’ve played with the order of the prompts a bit, but I intend to use them all.

This will be a huge challenge for me. For those of you who know me well, you’ll know I am not a fast writer. To post one of these every day for 31 days will be pushing me well and truly to my limits. They may not all get posted on time, but they will get posted. Promise.

My eternal thanks to my brilliant betas @rose–nebula and mrsbertucci for picking up on the things I miss and for chivvying me along. ((((hugs))))

Today’s prompt is Candles. Please enjoy.

Chapter Summary: When Rose and the Doctor decide to spend the December Earth-bound, tensions and insecurities surface.

Chapter Notes: The song the Doctor plays is Christmas Without You, by a very dear friend of mine, Tori Hathaway

Also read at: AO3; FF.net; Teaspoon (when approved)

December 24th, 2017

Dear Father Christmas,

We decided to come back to Earth early this year and spend Christmas in our little blue house. I love the exploring and adventures, and not that I would ever want to give up the traveling, but sometimes I just miss the simplicity of being Earthbound. Sometimes I miss my beans-on-toast life. And I miss the house. There are so many memories we made there. It wasn’t easy to convince the Doctor to take an extended shore leave. It took a lot of persuading (and there were lots of rows), but eventually he agreed this would be a good holiday for all of us.

And it has been good… mostly... I suppose. We’ve been here a month now, and I’ve been settling right in to a proper domestic life: baking biscuits and decorating the house for Christmas. The Doctor’s been champing at the bit, though. Restless, he is. We’ve both been helping out at Torchwood, and that’s kept him somewhat entertained, rummaging through all the new artifacts that’ve turned up. But I caught him wiring one up to the TARDIS, last week. He nicked it! Slipped it out, right past security! I insisted he had to take it back. Blimey, what a lot of whinging there was. Eventually he did as I told him, but he did it on his own terms: he told Dad he was just checking the security systems, seeing if he could get away with it, and clearly security wasn’t “up to snuff”. So now, not only have I been hauled in as a consultant to review the current security policies and suggest upgrades right before Christmas, but I have to listen to that plonker use his new favourite catchphrase, “up to snuff”, at every possible opportunity.

Well, hopefully his Christmas gift will be up to snuff. I convinced Dad to give me the gadget he’d filched. Of course, I had to go through a pile of paperwork to get it released, and all kinds of scans and safety checks, owing to the upgraded security procedures that I was stupid enough to suggest. All I can say is he better appreciate everything I went through to get this for him.

Hope’s been enrolled with the nursery group at Torchwood while we’re both at work. That caused another row between me and the Doctor. He wanted her with him, exploring all the artifacts and “helping out” in the labs, conducting experiments. I mean, I get it, she’s a smart cookie, but she’s only twenty-one months old! And when we’re on the TARDIS, that’s okay. I mean she’s learning about aliens and the universe and stuff, and that’s great, but I’m worried she isn’t learning how to be human. She needs to interact with other children her own age, and not just blue bubble-children from Bluftrig 4.

So, of course, the first few days of nursery were awful: tears and tantrums. And that was just the Doctor. Fuck! (oh, God, sorry Santa! Excuse my language!) But seriously, I’ve never heard so many I-told-you-sos in my whole fucking life. We had a full-on domestic right in front of the nursery doors, about a week in, over Hope not getting along. It wasn’t pretty, and I’m kind of embarrassed by the whole thing, to be honest. Anyway, Hope took it upon herself to toddle in and start reading stories to the other children whilst we shouted down the walls. Just as well, because the nursery supervisor called security on us (and naturally, they cited more of the new regulations at us…) and Dad hauled us up to his office to rake our arses over the coals. He put a formal reprimand in both our files, and as soon as we got home, Mum called and started in on us.

God, it’s been frustrating. We’re supposed to be hosting Christmas tomorrow and I don’t know how we’re expected to pull that off when we’re barely talking to one another. I didn’t think being grounded for a bit would be so stressful. I guess I overestimated the Doctor’s ability to adapt. He did fine before we had our TARDIS up and running. Now, it’s like he resents me… us. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I’m seriously afraid he’ll run off, or something, with Hopie, and I’ll never… never see…

Blimey, this letter got off track. I swore I wouldn’t cry. I must look a sight, and I’ve got to run. The nursery is doing a little “Frosty the Snowman” play with the “four and up” children. (We eventually decided to put Hope into that group as she seems to do better with the older kids.) She’s doing all the narration! I decided it’d be easier just to stay here at Torchwood until it started (so I’m dictating this letter from work.) The Doctor went home. He said he saw the dress-rehearsal this afternoon. He sounded a bit chuffed about Hopie’s performance, but said he thought it would best if he just stayed away tonight. He’s probably right. We’d just have had another row. Mum’s meeting me here, which I’m dreading. No doubt, she’ll have a go at me about the Doctor, and I don’t think I’ll be able to take it.

I wonder if everything will be better when we go off in the TARDIS again. I doubt it. I don’t really think this is about him being Earth-bound. What if he doesn’t love… I mean he’s slept alone in his study for the last two weeks. We used to be a team. We did everything together and now we... I miss him, Santa.

(Right, pull it together, Tyler.)

Santa, I’m signing off. You don’t need to hear all my crap. It seems the things I really want for Christmas these days aren’t things you can give me. And this year, I just want our little family to be a family again. Thanks for listening, anyway. I hope you and Mrs. Claus and the reindeer and elves have a lovely Christmas.

Love, Rose

P.S.: I just had to give you an update! Mum drove me and Hope home after the play (Hope was brilliant, by the way! Stole the show!) Anyway, Mum was really quiet the whole way, which was kind of unnerving; I was expecting a lot more shouting. So when she pulls up to the house, I get out and she says she’ll bring Hopie in. And I’m just up the steps, fumbling with my keys, when she speeds off down the drive. There was nothing much I could do about it. Hope was safe with her Gran… but I had to be alone with the Doctor. God, I was dreading opening the door; I’d rather have faced the entire Slitheen family than the man I loved with all my heart. I remember thinking there were pretty good odds he was holed up in his study, and I could sneak upstairs before he even knew I was home. I obviously was a bit delusional, ‘cause looking back, it was clear I’d been set up. Big time!

So I tried to sneak in, but there he was, standing right there waiting for me. It’s still all so clear in my mind. He had candles lit everywhere, and the fire was going, and I could smell something delicious coming from the kitchen. He was playing a really pretty Christmas song, Christmas Without You, I think it’s called. It all reminded me of the time when he was trying to apologize to me a few years back, after he refused to come to our first ultrasound appointment. When he finds an approach that works for him, he sticks with it, I’ll give him that.

Course, I come straight out and ask him what the hell’s going on. I was really, really trying to be pissed off, but he was standing there wearing that bloody red cashmere sweater I gave him last year, and his hair was so fucking touchable, and his beard was this gorgeous scruffy stubble, and that pouty lower lip… guuuuhh, you should have seen him! Then, he just holds out his hands to me, and tells me we need to talk.

Well he got that right!

We didn’t exactly talk though… not right away. But we made good use of the nice soft rug in front of the fireplace, and we might have said something about how much we missed each other, and we both said “sorry” and “I love you”. And then, I couldn’t help it: I blurted out how sometimes I was frightened he would leave me. He vowed he never, ever would. He was so upset I had ever thought he might, he was crying. We both were, actually.

Well, Mum brought Hope back after a bit, and looked a little too happy to see me dressed in nothing but the red cashmere, and didn’t even try to wind up the Doctor about only wearing his pants. She said she would’ve given us the whole night but reckoned we wanted to have Hope spend Christmas morning at home with us.

After Hope hung her stocking and finally fell asleep (it took four chapters of Treasure Island and a reading of Twas the Night Before Christmas to settle her she was so excited), me and the Doctor finally got around to eating that fantastic dinner he’d made, and we really talked. Turns out he thinks I’m right: we should spend more time on Earth for Hope’s sake, for all of us. Not all the time, but more than we have been. He reckons being stuck with me and Hope here on Earth’s not so bad. We decided we’d just play it by ear and work out the details as we go along.

Looks like it’s going to be a happy Christmas after all!

#doctorroseprompts #kid fic #tentoo x rose #prompts #christmas fluff #family #hurt/comfort #angst #pete's world #romance #love #tenroseforeverandever's fic

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noheroes-allowed · 4 years

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week 2

day 8: it feels good to be productive even though I really didn’t do much, had an hour phone call with my professor to go over my essay and he went into too much detail lmao and I really wanted it to end starting halfway through, watched hp 2&3 with my bro, spent two hours on refactored, am wearing a new sweater and socks I haven’t worn before and it’s nice, they’re moving forward with my background check so summer isn’t cancelled still as of now! hallelujah

day 9: jeremy released a new song, watched both hp 7’s today, watched wheel of fortune, sent refactored emails, played piano, forgot for like two minutes what day it was and thought it was wednesday, got a call from my recruiter and she told me they’re having a meeting tomorrow to decide what to do about the program eeeeeep, wore a new sweater today with my cat socks, kristina said she’d give me a list of questions but they never came so now keith is winging it tomorrow, texted keith if he was busy and if we could call later and then we did and I was less nervous this time about asking even though he never got back to me on what movie they ended up watching if they ever ended up watching which I don’t think they did and he just needed to get off the phone but it’s ok bc he was honest this time (update: he actually watched jerry maguire with his mom and that comforts me)

day 10: idk why but I can’t figure out how to make oatmeal at home? the two times I’ve done it now including today is not as good as when I made it in my apt kitchen, played piano and uke, asked my bro what day it was bc I’m starting to lose track of time :(, worked on refactored but didn’t work on my slides yet and was highly unproductive, potato salad at dinner, need to get a drug test lol, keith called me and it was work related but I like hearing his voice in any capacity, called Cat and got wrapped up in myers briggs again lmao, looked up my compatibility again and it said I’d have difficulties with jenny’s type lmao which is also jaja’s type, oh and I saw a real cat in this catastrophe! she let me pet her and everything. plus she looked like my aunt’s cat and it was very lovely after my run

day 11: my mother woke me up this morning to drive her but it was unnecessarily early bc I didn’t even have to pick her up more than an hour later, finally left my neighborhood even though it was only for like 10 min it was still nice to fucking get out, my oatmeal this morning was actually good finally, spent like three hours curating a playlist oops, there’s like nothing in the fridge and it upsets me bc I want an actual meal but I’ve literally just been eating rice and bread for lunch this past week and it’s not working, played piano and uke, my supervisor emailed me and said they’re gonna pay for the past few days even though we haven’t been working! but I’m locked out of the time period so idk, saw the kitty again, texting :), filed my taxes which is the only thing I’ve really accomplished today but does that even count as being productive? lol I don't think so. also I haven’t done any school work in literally 16 days holy fuck I really need to get my shit together. but also I feel like I’m finally adjusting to this mess and trying to enjoy the moments I can

day 12: had a zoom meeting with my supervisor and I think I might pick up extra hours, peed in a cup, my mom finally bought groceries and there’s so much more fruit in the house and carrots! I can finally eat my hummus again, started watching the tv shows I keep up with again meaning I’m finally adjusting I think and not obsessing over the news like I did the first week, played piano, worked on refactored slides but it’s taking a lot longer than I expected bc I am procrastinating but also my kids did not do a good enough job and I have to pick up their slack, organized my google calendar so hopefully now I will finally stick to a schedule, my mom finally made a good dinner with our new groceries, got a free book yesterday bc there was a table giving them away and they were all suspense themed which isn’t typically what I read but we’ll see if I like the one I picked out, was gonna go to bed early but ended up watching harry styles tiny desk concert oops

day 13: watch svu today, practiced uke a really long time and I think I’m finally confident with two songs lmao. it’s taken me a really long time to learn them but I’m excited to try party favor next, rescheduled Iceland officially, I’m enjoying maggie rogers tunes, worked on refactored slides for fucking hours and still haven’t finished, called Cat, my mom is paranoid

day 14: I slept so fucking well this morning. it was so bizarre and I hadn’t slept this well in like more than a month and it may have been bc of a stupid reason, practiced uke, FINISHED THE FUCKING SLIDES, I sent this nytimes article to my environmental econ prof from last sem like three days ago bc it was talking about vsl and he got back to me today! cool, I think I may be going a little crazy ahahahahahha I need social interaction and segc is holding an update meeting tomorrow so I guess I’m looking forward to that, still have not worked on my essay and I probably won’t be tomorrow bc I gotta do cti work ugh. this essay just does not want to be written

#remarks

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kavuyi · 4 years

Text

Nkani: All That Glitters 30 Part 2 https://ift.tt/2HmDIEC

Mr Forty:

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Showed up at your place hoping to make amends and I knock on your door hoping to surprise you.

I come bearing gifts.

You not opening the door for me or you’re angry I have been ignoring you?

Revenge plans now?

This man really thinks his ignoring stunts are worth recording? What a joke. I shake my head and giggle. Revenge? Me? On him? Why?

Me:

Why would I be angry?

I am not home.

Mr Forty:

Your car is in your slot.

So? Do I have to drive the piece of metal everywhere I go? Men can be so dull sometimes. Like who has never heard of “picking up someone?” Is this how men who think they are in love with you think?

Me:

Yes, because I am not driving. I am not home. I will be later on.

Possibly too late.

Mr Forty:

Where are you?

I take note of the cream and brown coloured walls that make up Masulani’s bedroom, the brown duvet that covers my nude body and smile. Now he wants to know where I am?

Me:

I am with my friends. One of my friends was in an accident. Almost died. So I am quite busy right now.

Masulani is a friend right? A very good friend who helped me out today – and every other day he is around. And that’s the truth and nothing but the version of it that works.

Mr Forty:

That’s very sad.

I do hope she feels better soon.

I guess I will let you be then.

I bite my bottom lip. Mr Forty made an effort to show up at my place on Valentine’s day – even though he is a married man who should be spending the day with his wife. It is the effort that counts right? That”s what we say right. So I should be grateful the man cares. I should be nicer to him. He deserves that much at least.

Me:

Thank you for coming though.

I promise I will make it up to you.

Make sure you keep those gifts you got for me safe.

Mr Forty:

I promise you will have them.

Have a good night Yoli.

Should I call him and make him feel better.

No. Maybe I should.

I will have to see him tomorrow after work, make it up to him. That’s if I can make the time. I need to talk to the ladies first about if we shall be visiting Thandiwe. Then maybe I can plan the perfect day – night – and time to meet Mr Forty. I am sure he won’t mind his payment in kisses and hands. Men. I sit up and dial his number from memory. I roll my eyes at the thought of not forgetting the man’s number.

“Hello.”

His voice comes onto the line and I smile. I push the duvet aside and move my legs to the edge of the bed.

“Hey. Hi.” I respond.

“Yoli. Hey. How are you?”

“I am well.”

“And your friend?”

“Still waiting on feedback.” I respond. “I am so sorry I wasn’t home. Not been home all day.”

“I understand. Will you be at the office tomorrow?” He asks worriedly.

“Yes. I think so.”

“You’re not sure?”

“I probably will be in.”

“Well if you think you won’t make sure you call Masulani and tell him in advance just in case he needs you for something important.”

I bite my lip to stop myself from giggling. Of course Masulani will need something important from me. Business and pleasure.

“I will definitely call him.” I tell him. “I will tell him everything. Though I’m sure he can handle things without me.”

“Ahh yes the capable Masulani can handle anything.”

I feel the bed dip behind me before I feel a hand on my bare back.

“Hmmm.” I respond.

“Do call me when you’re done tomorrow. I’ll come by and see you.”

“I will. Definitely.”

Masulani’s hand slides around my waist and rests on my tummy as I feel his lips on the back of my neck. I close my eyes as I let a wave of chills come over me.

“Yolanda.”

I open my eyes. This will be the end of of me. I can’t have one man I’m sleeping with on the phone while another tries to convince me that I’m naked for a reason.

“Can I call you back? Soon.” I tell Mr Forty slowly hoping my tone of voice is steady.

“Sure. Are you alright?”

“Yes. I’ll call you back soon. I promise.I’m so sorry. So busy.”

“Okay. Stay safe. Love you.”

“Okay.”

I cut the call before he finds out I have my supervisor kissing my neck. Masulani grabs my phone from my hand with his free hand as his other hand roams to my breast.

It’s going to be a long night.

**********

I can’t stop thinking about Thandiwe. What she will be going through in the coming weeks. The pain. The loss. I can’t imagine how she will survive it all. And James, I know he’s holding onto everything he has just so that he does not break down. He is hurting. Thandiwe’s family is hurting. I shake my head as I pull my house keys from my jeans pocket. Thandiwe will need all the help she can find from all of us.

My thoughts stray to Thandiwe’s mother. I didn’t have to tell her what had happened. She already knew her child was in danger. She felt the pain, the disconnect. She was already crying by the time Sonia and I picked her up from the station. It broke my heart that I couldn’t comfort her, and knowing James had to deal with that broke my heart even further; and by the time we took Thandiwe’s sobbing mother to the hospital, James still had no new feedback. He looked distraught as he told us Thandiwe was still sedated. He told us tomorrow would be a better day to find out about her well being.

Another day of waiting.

I freeze as I turn the door knob and the door opens to a lit up house. I could have sworn I locked the house when I left with Sonia. The lights I know I left on when I left, but the door? I should have locked it. Or maybe I didn’t and I left the house open for anyone to rob us. After the mess I have been through I wouldn’t be shocked if I actually left the door open. What if the thief is still around? I curse under my breath.

“Amazing. How amazing Sampa.” I whisper.

I walk into the house, gently closing the door behind me. The house is silent, with only the sound of my beating heart. I take a deep breath and head to the living room looking around at everything. Nothing seems out of place. In fact all seems to be in place, just as I left it earlier. If there was a thief in this house then he would rob out living room first I surmise.

“Sampa.”

Hand on my chest I turn around. Sangu stands in front me, a smile on his face.

“Sangu, you scared me.”

He leans in closer, his lips meet mine for a quick kiss.

“I am sorry I scared you babe.” He laughs.

“Are you the one who left the door open?” I ask nervously.

“Yeah. Got home and you weren’t around.”

“I was at Sonia’s. Thought you would be home late like always.”

He knows what I mean. We both do. He’s been making personal rounds to visit his pregnant ex instead of coming home to me; lying about how stressful work is when he’s been worried about his ex. Nothing more, nothing less.

“I decided to come home to you.” He responds.

He grabs my hand and kisses my knuckles.

“You’re angry I know. You have questions. That I also know.” He starts. “And I can explain everything. But not yet. Not right now.”

“Why not right now?”

“Because I have something to show you. I will explain everything. In time. Soon.”

He smiles, places my hand in the nook of his elbow and leads us in the direction of the dinning room.

“I needed to do this for you first.” He says. “As a token for everything you do for me Sampa. I know I have been off and I have done some crazy shit but always know I love you.”

We walk into the dinning room and I gasp. I smile as I look at the round glass table covered in pink rose petals; a vase holding red roses sits in the middle of the table with a pair of wine glasses and white plates at opposite ends. I feel tears well up in my eyes as his lips brush across my hand.

“Happy Valentine’s Day babe.” He says.

*********

I take a sip of the chilled glass of wine and sigh.

What a day.

I lift the remote off the seat next to me and point it in the direction of the television. I pause as I stare at the blank screen. Nothing will make me feel better. Not even television. Not while I know Thandiwe is in pain. I put the remote back down on the seat and grab my phone dialling Ian’s number.

“Hey. Sonia. Are you okay? Everything okay?”

I smile. Ever worried.

“Hey. I am good.” I respond.

“Is everything okay? Something wrong.”

“Nothing is wrong.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. Sorry for panicking. Just a little worried.”

“I understand. How are you? I miss you.”

“I am okay. Tired as hell but good.”

“How’s work?”

“Busy. Today was the busiest day. I had so much to do and catch up on. Crazy. But I got the job done.” He says breathlessly. “How’s Thandiwe? Any news?”

“Well last time I spoke to James he said she was still sedated. Still asleep but she’s alive.” I respond. “He said tomorrow would be the best day to see if she’s better or not.”

“I am so sorry babe.”

“I wish I could do something you know. Just help in some way not wait for something to happen. I hate this.”

” Just breathe. It will be okay. I know Thandiwe is a fighter. She will be perfect.”

“You are right.”

He always knows how to make me feel better. I smile at the thought. That’s why I needed to call him. The calm to my stormy seas Ian is.

“You home?” He asks.

“Yeah. I was with Sampa not too long ago. We didn’t want to be alone but she had to leave. And now I am alone. It’s so chilly and boring. I don’t want to watch television. I hate this. I hate you being so far away.”

“I miss you too baby.”

“It’s too much. I can resign from my job and follow you.”

“We both know that can’t happen.” He laughs.

“I could surprise you.”

“Leave the surprising to me Sonia. No need to resign.”

“But I miss you.”

“Why didn’t you go to my place instead.”

“And miss you some more? Sleep in your shirt? Spray your perfume?'”

“No. Being in a different environment helps you know. Keeps you busy. Plus I have your favourite movies at home. No boredom.”

I sigh. “I should have told you to come home when you suggested it earlier.”

“Is that a regret I am hearing?”

“Yes. A major regret.”

“I love you babe. No matter where I am I am always with you.”

“I love you too.”

“Uhh… Can I call you back just now. Gotta do something.”

“Cool. Later.”

The call cuts and I groan. Back to being alone. I contemplate calling Sampa. Disturb her. She did tell me she was going home to sleep. I can’t disturb her. She needs her rest just like I do. I stand up from the sofa and stretch. I can make myself a light meal and then rest. That should keep me busy for a little while.

I hear a knock on the door as I head to the kitchen. I know I am not expecting anyone tonight, unless it’s the neighbour in need of something unnecessary like salt, cooking oil or even worse tomatoes. I would do well to ignore and simply go about my night. I am certain she will get the hint and find another neighbour to bother. Yes. Why be nice and taken advantage of. It never pays off anyway. I roll my eyes as I walk to the door. I shake my head as I open the door mastering a smile on my face.

“Ian!!”

He smiles at me and I embrace him.

“Hey. Hey.”

His hands pat my back as I smile against his shirt, breathing in his scent. It is him, in person, really here.

“Hey.” I whisper.

“Are you okay?”

“Uh huh. I am perfect now.” I whisper. “I am perfect now that you’re here.”

I place my hands on his chest and look up to his face his green eyes meeting mine.

“I got word that you missed me.” He says.

“I did. I really did.” I laugh. “You have no idea.”

“I missed you too.”

“You’re home. Why? How?”

“Home needed me and I came running.” He laughs.

“Thank you. I really needed this.”

He kisses my cheek as his arms wrap around me.

“Besides who else are you gonna celebrate Valentine’s Day with if not with me.”

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

*********

“Goodnight my little munchkins.” Chinyama whispers.

He sits for a few seconds longer looking at the twins before he stands up. He turns and looks at me, our eyes meet, none of us makes a move, unsaid words hanging in the air. No words can be uttered in the kids bedroom, we know this. We don’t need the children knowing what’s happening between us. Whatever comes of it Chinyama and I will make sure our children are not affected by it. As far as they are concerned they have the perfect parents sad I will do anything to keep it that way. Even with the stupid home wrecking Cynthia.

I take one last glance at the twins and walk away. I know Chinyama is behind me, as angry as I am, as I should be. His hand grabs my arm before I get to our bedroom door.

“Let go of me.” I whisper.

I turn and slap his hand which has no effect on him; he grabs my free arm and pushes me back, my back hitting the wall with a heavy thud. I should not have let the man drink. Even better I should have kept my big mouth silent and not brought up Cynthia’s name after he wished me happy Valentine’s Day. I should have waited considering the night we had. My big mouth, I had to say it. I had to push him in a corner and hurt him. Have to give it to him that he kept up a brave smile while the kids where around was the most amazing part. In front of them he served me dinner, made me smile, made them laugh while he had his drink. He waited for the children to sleep. He was a patient man. And his patience has finally paid off.

“You’re hurting me Chinyama.”

“This is what you want Mable? Me to hurt you?”

“Let go. For crying out loud the children are sleeping.”

“Now you care? I’m not letting go. Not until we talk, honey.”

“I will scream if you don’t let me go.”

He lets go of one of my hands and lifts his hand above my face, I flinch away from it. He grabs my chin roughly and forcefully makes me face him. I can count the times I’ve seen Chinyama angry. Too few. Through our years of marriage the man rarely found an issue with me as wife and mother; if he did then cheating on me with the foolish Cynthia was his answer; and if Cynthia did not do her job right then maybe he would bring his anger home to me but never has he manhandled me like this. Never has been this rough with me.

Never.

“You want to scream?” He asks. “You want to scream? Come.”

He drags me away from the hallway through the kids playroom, to the living room, into the foyer. With his free hand he unlocks the front door. The cool air hits my face when he opens the door. He drags me outside, never bothering to close the door.

“Chinyama let me go. Please.” I beg.

“No. It’s time we talked. I am so sick and tired of your trash behaviour.”

“As if yours is any better?”

He pulls me to the garage at the end of the house, away from the children. What if he kills me with his anger I think. What if he can’t control his anger? Did he have to take me outside to argue? We stop outside the garage doors and Chinyama digs into his pockets. What if he has a knife on him. I’ve never seen the man this angry. Has Cynthia? If he kills me know one will know, not even the children. He probably will bury my body under the flowers. He grabs my shoulders, turns me to face him.

“Tell me, what do you want?” He says aloud. “What do you want Mable? You want me to apologise? Will that be okay for you? Here goes. I am sorry I’ve been the worst husband, I’m still paying for my sins years later. And you know what, maybe I understand. I caused you pain, I put you through hell when I cheated. And I’ve gone above and beyond for you to fix the mess. But you just can’t let it go.”

He shakes his head and laughs.

“What should I do?” He continues. “I am sick and tired of having to walk on eggshells around you. Our marriage is a mess and I’m trying to fix it and you seem to think I am still cheating on you. I’ve made mistakes and so have you and I’ve been waiting for you to meet me half way to fix this mess. I’m always apologising for Cynthia. Deep down you know I’m not sleeping with her. It’s as if you want me to go to her so you can prove your point.”

He takes in a deep breath, his eyes flashing daggers at me.

“Granted you’ve found Cynthia around me twice?” He asks. “And maybe I’ve rocked the boat of trust again but I’m not cheating on you. Not anymore. I’m not her friend either. I cut her out of my life. For good. The times you’ve seen her around me it’s because she made her way into my life. And she knows where I stand with everything. I am still married to you and I’d like to stay that way. For my children sake. For me. For you. So what do you want Mable and I’ll do it.”

I lick my lips nervously. Chinyama telling what he thinks is the truth does not help at all. He will probably say anything to get away with his sins. How can I trust him again? Cynthia seems to enjoy finding herself around him. She will never stop being with him as long as he allows it. If his resolve was strong enough maybe the she would leave him alone.

“What about your son?” I ask.

He looks at me confusion in his eyes. Yes his other son. The one Cynthia carried. The one thing that’s kept the silly woman in our lives all this time. What then.

“What the hell are you talking about?” He asks

“Seriously? Are you gonna pretend you don’t have a child with that Cynthia woman now?”

“You think I have a child with Cynthia? You actually believe that?”

“I heard your conversation Chinyama. You seem to make this other woman feel so important that you give her power to literally make you move.” I shout. “If you wanted her out of your life then you would make it happen. Easy. But not with you.”

“I do not have a child with Cynthia Mable.” He tells. “I don’t know what you heard last night but I have no child with her.”

“So you’ve been paying fees and buying things for a random street kid? Why do you think you can lie to me? I’m not that foolish.”

“For the first time I think you are foolish.”

“How dare….”

“Please shut your mouth Mable.” He says calmly.

“You will not…”

“Shut up!” He shouts. “Listen to me because I will not explain this again. I have no child with Cynthia. You say you listened to our conversation then I’m assuming you’re talking about Cynthia’s son. She got pregnant while I was with her. But I wasn’t the only one she was sleeping with. I am not her son’s father. Maybe my greatest mistake was acting like a parent to her son after all his father is a no show. So I paid stuff for him, got him things and acted like a father. I am still not his father. I only have three children who are asleep right now in my house.”

He lets go of my shoulders and takes a step back.

“Is this what we are now? A shell of our marriage? After over ten years this is all that’s left of us?” He asks. “You can’t forgive me. You will drink yourself drunk in memories. I will avoid you and work late. Be silent for days to come. Then maybe we shall fix a little part of us just to have sex and then back to square one. It’s toxic. We are toxic.”

He groans and puts his hands in his pockets.

“I love you.” He continues. “And I always will. We’ve made mistakes and I always thought we would get passed them. In time. But time has gone and we are killing each other over shit. Over trash. Over nothing. Maybe there is nothing left for us to fight over now. Maybe we should part ways and be apart.”

I look to the ground. Part ways? Be apart? That’s what he wants from us? This is what’s going to happen to us? Get divorced? And the children? What happens? I have no job. Nothing to my name and he wants to walk away after he created the damage to our marriage himself. I had my part in it and I’m working on it. The drinking has reduced dratically. I don’t drink as much anymore. Ten years of marriage led to this show down? This is not happening to me. Not today. He will go to her. After he leaves me. Either way she will always be around.

“Maybe we should.” I whisper.

“What?” He asks

I lift my face and meet his gaze.

“Maybe we should be apart.” I say a little louder.

He looks at me bewildered. He opens his mouth to speak but closes it instead. He nods and takes a step closer to me, closing the gap between us. He pulls his hand from his pocket and with his free hand he grabs my hand and places a rectangular box on my palm. I flinch as I hear the garage door open behind him. Chinyama leans in and kisses my hair.

“Happy Valentines Day Mable. Goodnight.”

He turns away and walks to his car. He’s leaving me? He’s leaving his family behind. He starts his car, the sound of the engine brings me back to reality. He reverses his car, he stops his car and looks at me through the window before he drives off. I watch the lights of the back of his car disappear into the night. I’m numb.

I can’t believe he just drive off. What now? I look at the dark box in my hand and open it. The inside of the box is made out of a dark suede material and in the middle of the box sits a car key; eyebrow arched I walk through the open garage doors. I walk passed the empty spot where Chinyama’s was parked minutes ago, passed my car to another car parked at the end of the garage. The new white Mercedes Benz parked screams beauty and power; One of favourite cars in the Mercedes line and its parked right in our garage. A white envelope sits on the windscreen and I grab it quickly ripping the envelope open, inside sits a card, I recognise Chinama’s handwriting on it.

To Mable

I know sometimes I act like I’m not listening

I know sometimes you feel like I’m never there

But I am always watching you

Just like the first time I fell in love with you

I love you Mable

You are my world.

Nothing will ever change that.

Chinyama

“Oh shit.” I whisper.

*********

“She needs to know.”

Words are like light. They touch you before your world opens up, just like when a newborn hears sound before sight.

“Maybe not today. It will be too much for her.”

Light always finds a way through the darkness. It never lets the darkness win.

“Mum are you saying that we need to keep this information from her? Whenever she finds out it will still be bad.”

Light finds a gap and fills it up with it’s power, chasing the darkness away. That’s what it feels like, opening my eyes from the darkness. I close my eyes shutting out the bright light but I have been in the darkness for too long I can’t bear another second of it. I slowly open my eyes, letting them adjust to the mediocre lighting around me; my eyes stare up ahead as a cream coloured ceiling comes into view.

Where am I? Where is James? I open my mouth to speak and I wince at the sharp pain below my jaw. Something is not right; every part of my body aches. What the happened to my body? I sift through my memories, what happened last? Mable. I was supposed to meet Mable for something. James. I spoke to James. Yes I did. Right before….

The baby kicked. Our daughter kicked. For the first time. My heart starts to race. Where is James? I need to tell him the baby kicked. I open my mouth to speak and I cough.

“Thandiwe?”

Jame’s face comes into view above me.

“Baby. There you are. You’re awake.” He whispers. “Finally.”

His face looks tired. I know he’s not had enough sleep.

“Thank God.” He laughs.

What happened to him? To me? I open my mouth slower this time around, trying to form words through the pain.

“Hey.” He says. “You don’t need to say a thing. I’m right here.”

He holds my hand and squeezes it softly. I squeeze his back. He laughs then. I need to tell him something important. The piece of information will make him happy. I have to tell him right now no matter the pain.

“James.” I croak. “James.”

“Hey baby. Hey. You need to rest. I’m right here.”

He leans in closer to my face and I notice his red rimmed eyes.

“I should call a nurse.” He says.

“Nu… Nurse?” I croak

“Yeah.”

Nurse means I am in a hospital. That means I am in a hospital. That means something happened to me. And the baby. My eyes widen in shock. Why am I here right now? Did I collapse? The baby moved. He deserves to know that our daughter moved. I know this news will make him feel better. He doesn’t have to cry anymore.

“James.” I croak. “The…. Baby.”

I take a deep breath. Breathe I tell myself. Deep breaths. In and out.

“It’s okay.” He whispers. “It’s gonna be alright.”

“The baby.” I whisper.

“You were in accident Thandiwe.” He says slowly.

Accident? What accident? I was driving just fine. Besides that does not matter. What matters is the baby moved. Our baby kicked. That’s the reality.

“Kicked.” I whisper. “The baby… Moved.”

He blinks hard before his eyes widen. His hand squeezes my hand tighter.

“Thandiwe honey.” He says.

I ignore his words. He needs to listen to me. Why isn’t he listening to me? What is going on? When does James not listen to me when I’m talking?

“Baby… moved.” I whisper. “James. The. Baby. Kicked. Our daughter.”

He looks at me in silence and gives me a weak smile. His eyes feel up with tears, he leans in closer till his lips brush my forehead. I feel drops of tears fall onto my face. He pulls away and takes a deep breath.

“Honey. You need to listen to me.”

His eyes well up with more tears as he looks at me.

“Shit.” He whispers.

“James…”

“Thandiwe, we lost the baby.”

I freeze. What the hell is he talking about? I am pregnant. The baby kicked today. I felt it. I wanted to call him. Gosh I had reached for my phone to call him. Did I not dial his number to tell him. What’s he talking about now? We are having a baby.

“Thandiwe.”

“The baby kicked James.”

“The accident. We lost the baby. Baby is gone honey. You are not pregnant.”

“Accident?” I ask. “What accident?”

My hands shake. In anger or maybe it’s the sadness; it overwhelms me. The baby is gone. I lost my baby? I had one job, to keep my baby safe and growing within me and I failed at that?

“Another car hit into yours last night as you were driving to join Mable….. Surgery….. They had to terminate it….. The doctors say we can try again….”

“No. No. N. No. No. N… No.”

I close my eyes shutting him out. Behind my eyelids I hold back tears. I want to cry out loud. Shout. Anything. I feel James’s hand in mine, he’s holding onto me like I’m holding onto him.

“You’re alive. That’s what matters.” James whispers. “I don’t know what I would have done if I had lost you.”

I open my eyes and let the tears fall.

“I’m sorry.” I whisper. “I’m so sorry James.”

He shakes his head and leans in closer, planting soft kisses in my hair.

“We are still here.” He whispers. “We will be fine. We will try again.”

I lips quiver as the tears fall.Tears of anger. Anger directed to myself.

Anger that deep down my heart I know that am relieved the baby is gone.

I don’t have to be a mother anytime soon. Tears of anger with a pinch of sadness continue to fall as James comforts me. If only he knew the truth. James did not deserve this. He does not deserve the pain. He’s the innocent party in all this.

And I’m the worst human being on the planet for being happy that my baby is gone.

To be continued…

Happy Valentines Day to our readers

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