#shiro angst

[autisticlancemcclain]

Keith knows his nerves must be leeching off him, because the rest of the team is overcompensating. There’s an abundance of chatting and banter, way more than usual, enough that Keith can recognise the oddity even though he’s been gone for two years. It might just be everyone’s relief after finally getting to sit down and be calm after rushing to foil Haggar’s weirdo clone plan, but Keith’s pretty sure his team has noticed his strangeness, and is trying to make him comfortable again. The thought makes him smile despite his anxiety. He’s missed them.

He’s snapped out of his thoughts by Pidge pointedly clearing her throat and using her spork to point at Krolia, who’s been about as anxious as Keith (only for her that manifests as looking like she wants to kill small cute things).

“Are you finally going to tell us who Tall Dark and Gorgeous is?” she asks, because she is the least subtle and nosiest person in the galaxy and Keith honestly should have expected it. His face flames, and his mother raises an eyebrow, while the rest of the team snickers.

Shiro tries his best to appear a little more adult. “If you wouldn’t mind introducing us, Keith.” He smiles kindly at Krolia. “You were amazing out on the field, we were really grateful to have you. Sorry for not getting us all introduced earlier.”

Krolia nods at him, smiling in an awkwardly reassuring way. “Of course, Black Paladin. There were bigger things to focus on handling.”

She returns to her food too after speaking, clearly done her piece.

Keith grimaces. He was hoping she’d introduce herself, but it looks like he’s going to have to. Fuck. (He’s not sure why he’s so opposed to it. It’s nerve-wracking, though, introducing his actual mother to his family. To his brother, his almost-father.)

“Um, Krolia, this is my family.” He points to them all and names them, rolling his eyes fondly at Lance’s wink and finger guns. He even introduces Lotor, even though he still maintains that they are not friends and Prince Hairdo has a lot of making up to do. “Everyone, this is Krolia.” He looks directly at his brother, taking strength in the man’s encouraging expression and addressing him directly. “She’s my mother.”

The entire table goes dead silent. Small conversations abruptly halt, the sounds of eating cease, silverware freezes where it was scraping on bowls. Complete and total silence.

Shiro’s face goes from encouraging and open to shocked to shuttered, jaw set and eyes narrowed.

Keith’s anxiety skyrockets. He sees his mother tense from across the table, and feels Lance go rigid beside him.

This is worse than what he expected.

“Your mother?” Shiro clarifies, words careful and controlled. He’s the first to return to movement, scooping goo into his spork almost robotically.

“Yes,” Keith says hesitantly. He doesn’t understand his brother’s reaction. He had expected some hesitance from Hunk, who is wary of newcomers, and maybe some understandable discomfort from Allura, but not…

Not Shiro. Not Shiro who is great in a crisis, who is the king of diplomacy, who has always supported Keith.

The rest of the team slowly follows Shiro’s example, returning to their meals, but there’s no more jovial conversation. All eyes are avoiding the brothers, but ears are open, movements slow and quiet so as to not miss a word.

“Hm. Interesting.” Shiro takes a bite of the goo, slowly chewing and swallowing, looking forward like he’s really contemplating. Keith watches every move carefully. “Where’d you find her?”

His tone is almost pleasant, conversational, but there’s something off and plastic about it. Forced. Like he’s talking about a volatile creature Keith has dragged home that he’s trying to be cool about, not the parent Keith has been searching for his whole life.

Keith glances surreptitiously at his mother, but she only shrugs at him. “On the space whale. Well, at the Blades, technically. She was assigned the mission with me and we both got stranded.”

Shiro makes another hum of acknowledgement, nodding to himself. He pokes aggressively at the bowl of green gelatine. “That’s wild. I would have guessed you’d have found her in a jail cell for tax evasion or something, since she seems to be the type to avoid responsibility.”

Keith blinks in shock. Two seats down, Hunk chokes on his water, and Coran thumps his back to help. Every other jaw is dropped in shock, heads swivelling from Shiro to Keith, at a total loss.

“What the fuck are you talking about,” Keith says harshly. He glances at his mother, who quickly hides the hurt on her face with a carefully practiced mask of indifference.

“Oh, nothing,” Shiro says, distractedly pushing around his goo. He sounds blasé, unbothered, but Keith recognises this tone of his, as rare as it is to hear it — the passive aggressiveness, the snooty way he speaks when he’s too furious to even yell, and just wants to make everyone around him feel stupid. “I just figured the person who abandoned her infant son without so much as a note is someone of the more irresponsible and immature variety. That’s all.”

Lance, who has never been capable of handling tenseness, stands abruptly and starts gathering the bowls and utensils of everyone at the table, regardless of whether they’re finished. Keith watches distantly as he quiets Pidge’s whining, firmly telling her to get up and bring it with her if she needs.

“She’s my mother,” Keith says through grit teeth. He pulls his gaze away from the red paladin, glaring at his brother. “I thought you’d be happy for me.”

Shiro finally looks up from his stupid goo, baring his teeth in a poor imitation of a smile.

“Thrilled,” he drawls.

Quietly, Krolia stands, pushing in her chair and following the rest of the team to the door. In the back of his mind, Keith wonders if it would be better for her to stay, but dismisses it just as quickly. Better for her not to hear whatever Shiro’s problem is. She walks out the door without so much as a glance backwards, and Shiro’s gaze follows her out with a sneer. Lance shoves the rest of the reluctant team out of the kitchen doors, then glances back one more time, brown eyes big and reassuring, smiling sadly before closing the doors quietly behind him.

When Keith finally returns his gaze to his brother, his eyes are wet and there’s a lump in his throat. Hurt swarms his chest as much as anger.

“You’re being a dick,” he says. His voice cracks several times as he says it.

“Oh, well, fuck me, then,” Shiro says, violently pushing his chair away from the table and stomping to his feet, grabbing his bowl with his prosthetic so tightly it cracks. He barely even glances at it, fisting the pieces and storming over to the kitchen to toss them. “Here, let me pretend.” He turns back to face Keith and forces a smile on his face, mockingly sincere. He reaches over and yanks Keith bowl away, with his flesh hand this time, and all but tosses into the sink.

There are small smears of blood on it, from the shards of porcelain that dug into Shiro’s flesh hand. Keith’s own hands shake. He scoops his and Shiro’s sporks into his hands, squeezing them tightly, and walks carefully to the sink. He resists the urge to fling them right at Shiro’s head, instead forcing himself to set them gently among the rest of the dirty dishes and standing next to his brother to rinse what he washes. He says nothing as Shiro roughly scrubs the goo pot — they’ve discovered it tastes sort of better hot, so they take the time to cook it — and practically slams it into Keith’s sink.

“Could you tell me what your fucking problem is,” he grits out. He can no longer stop his tears and they drip down his face, down his nose, over his lips, down his chin and disappearing into the dishwater. Every time he swallows, it’s bitter with salt.

“Sure,” Shiro snaps. “I have a couple questions first.”

Frankly, Keith wants to tell him right where he can shove those questions, but he wants this to be resolved more than he wants to be angry.

“Fine.”

“Great,” Shiro says with a relish, and Keith regrets it immediately. “She recognise you the second she saw you?”

Keith swallows. He has to try three times to speak, to force his voice above a whisper. “No.”

“Huh. How long’d it take her to realise?”

Keith hands shake so bad he has to set down a cup lest he drop and break it. He doesn’t want to answer. “Some time.”

“Crazy. Bet she told you she’d been looking for you, huh?”

“Stop,” Keith whispers, choking on a sob, but Shiro plows right on.

“Told you that finding you was all she ever wanted? That she’s so glad she can finally see you again?”

“Stop.”

“That you’ve turned into a fine young man she’s proud of?”

“Shut up!” Keith shouts, and the words hurt on their way out of his mouth, shoved past the giant lump in his throat. He gasps for air and can barely find it, lungs heaving, hurting everywhere, heart feeling like he’s being squeezed. He can no more stop his sobs now than he could stop a star from imploding, and they tear out of him, leaving him aching and shuddering and shaking. “Stop. Stop. I don’t know why you —”

“I’ll tell you why,” Shiro snaps, dropping the last dirty dish and gripping the sides of the steel sink so hard it warps under his prosthetic. “You remember when you showed me those pictures of your dad and his crew? When you were thirteen?”

Keith nods, sniffling, wiping his eyes with wet hands. He hears metal creak, hears hands being dried on a dishtowel, and a long, heavy sigh.

“I picked him out immediately, kid,” Shiro says quietly. Some of the overt cruelty has faded from his voice. He just sounds tired, now; bitter. “You didn’t need to point him out to me. I barely even needed to look at it. I knew who your father was immediately.”

Keith sets the last dish on a drying rack and takes a step back, leaning away from Shiro and pointedly looking away. “So?”

“So — ”and Shiro’s voice sounds almost gentle, now, apologetic, although to Keith or for Keith he’s not sure — “you look just like your Pa, Keith. You are his spitting image. The only difference is your eyes, and your height.” He glances at Keith and then snorts softly. “Well, not the height anymore.”

Keith doesn’t smile back anymore. He hears what Shiro is saying and he hates it, hates him a little for bringing it up.

“She had no reason to expect it was me,” Keith argues.

“And no reason not to recognise you if she was really looking,” Shiro retorts. “If she was exactly what she said she was, she’d recognise you.”

Keith scowls at him. His eyes still burn with tears. “I was wearing my Blade uniform. And she hadn’t seen me since I was a baby.”

Shiro’s face has started to return to the anger it held before, the frustration. “That’s the fucking point!” he shouts. “She left you! Without so much as a goodbye, or even a note! Just a cryptic knife that did nothing but confuse you!”

“There was a war to fight!”

“And she had a kid to raise!”

“What was she supposed to do about Blue, huh?” Keith demands, pushing off the counter and throwing his hands up. “Let Zarkon find her? She had to protect the universe!”

“She had to protect her fucking kid.”

“One kid is not worth more than the entire universe!”

“You are!”

Keith freezes. Shiro barely notices, face twisted in rage so badly that he’s barely even looking at Keith, fists clenched hard enough to creak, fury radiating off of him.

“What?” Keith asks in a small voice, but Shiro plows on.

“You’re her fucking kid. You come first. You come before any other kid, you come before her mission, you come before the fucking universe. That’s how having a kid works. They’re the priority. And anyone who leaves their family behind like that is unforgivably despicable.”

The truth comes crashing down at Keith all at once. He looks at his brother with wide eyes, unclouded with his own hurt, and sees for the first time all the pure hate and rage and pain — not directed at Krolia, not even a little, but sharpened to a point and shoved back into himself.

Anyone who leaves their family behind is unforgivably despicable.

The words ring through the room. Keith hears them repeat a thousand time in three seconds. A million different memories whirl through him at once, all tinged with a pain and a border of abandonment; memories he hasn’t let himself touch since he got to space.

“I don’t blame you for Kerberos,” Keith says quietly. He waits a beat. “I never have.”

Shiro says nothing. His expression is frozen, body unmoving, but his dark black eyes — the eyes that chose him first, that followed him with pride, that were the first to look at him softly when his heritage came out and everything went to shit, that he used to cry and sob and beg to have so that Shiro could be his brother in more than name — are wrought with pain. His face does not crumple, but his eyes are like shattered volcanic glass, and slowly they fill with water, and a drop escapes the corner of his almond eye, dripping slowly down his cheek.

“How can you ever forgive her?” he asks, near silent, voice rough as sandpaper and twice as painful.

How can you ever forgive me?

Keith chokes back his tears and meets his brother’s eyes head-on, determined and steady and loving as Shiro always has been when Keith was the one shattering.

“Easily.”

Shiro swallows. It’s loud, deafening in the silence of the room. The sound of it, the knowledge that Shiro is pushing his pain down but it’s coming up anyway, makes Keith’s chin tremble.

“I don’t deserve easy.”

“You deserve whatever I want to give you.”

Finally Shiro breaks, and sobs. And sobs and sobs and sobs. His cries seem the yank the life out of him, drain himself of energy; his knees hit the floor with a crack and he crumples at Keith’s feet.

“Forgive me,” he begs, like he knows he doesn’t deserve it.

Keith gently kneels next to him and reaches out, almost afraid to touch. “I already did.” He reaches out finally and holds his brother, his big brother who was stronger than his body and bigger than his dream and catapulted Keith up to the stars with him, and holds him together as he cries.

“I forgave you before you even left,” Keith whispers, when Shiro’s sobs don’t sound so painful. He squeezes tighter, because he’s almost worried that he needs to keep Shiro all together. “So did Adam.”

The mention of Shiro’s…whatever Adam is to him makes him cry harder, but Keith pushes on, sure that he needs to know.

“The day you went missing, he broke into your apartment. Went looking for the rings. He never took it off after. Never stopped looking for you, either. He forgave you, too.”

Shiro cries something, too warbled to make out, but Keith can make a pretty good guess as to what it was.

“You do deserve it,” he says firmly. “You are not a monster. You are not undeserving of our love, Shiro, of any of our love. We have always loved you as you are. Don’t rob of us the chance.”

“I don’t actually hate your mother,” Shiro whispers.

Keith laughs wetly. “I got that one, dumbass. Use your words next time.”

Shiro smiles slightly, wisely not agreeing. They both know he won’t. They both know this will probably happen to him again, and probably Keith, too — they may not be blood brothers, but they’ve always been alike anyway. Neither has ever been good at expressing themselves, at letting themselves be vulnerable.

But Keith holds his brother tighter, and thinks of their family who loves them with all their shit, despite it and because it, and thinks that they’ll make it through anyway.

#in this universe lotor is good and shiro is not a clone etc etc #vld #voltron #keith #keith kogane #shiro #takashi shirogane #broganes #keith & shiro #shiro & keith #shiro angst #keith angst #vld s7 #klance #like barely. but still #also i managed to sneak it in lol #brown-eyed lance #hurt/comfort #my writing #fic #longpost

[rorimoon9597]

Did he tell his crew to go and spend the rest of the day with their family in case they never returned? Yes. Was he going to do that? No. He didn't have anyone to spend the day with, anyway.

"Captain." He turned around to see Iverson standing there.

"Do you need something Commander?" He asked. The older man gave him a knowing look.

Sometimes he hated that some of his old teachers were part of his crew. They knew him too well.

"Get some rest before the launch, Captain. It'll do you some good."

"I'll be fine," Shiro tried.

"Would you like to try that again?" Shiro's shoulders sagged when Colleen spoke.

"You've been caught, dude," Matt commented. Shiro glared at his friend, but there wasn't any heat in the look at all. He sighed.

"Alright. I'll rest," he conceded. Colleen and Iverson nodded, the former looking rather smug about it.

He walked out of the meeting room at the same time as Keith. Lance approached them, Hunk hovering in the background and staring at Lance. He caught the Yellow Paladin's eye, and immediately understood the situation.

"I want to know the situation," he said, a sly grin on his face. Keith looked at him, then to Lance, then turned back to Shiro to glare at him.

He ignored it, walking over to Hunk and turning back to see this disaster. He couldn't hear the conversation, but he could see Lance and Keith talking, the redness on their faces.

"Look at those baby gays," he commented. Hunk snorted.

"It's about time," he said. Shiro nodded.

"I'm honestly tired of their pining, and I've been dealing with Keith whining about Lance for years."

"I've had to deal with Lance for ages, too," Hunk said. Lance turned around, a smile on his face, then went up to Hunk to drag him away. Keith walked up to Shiro. He snorted.

"You're redder than Red is. And that's saying something, because she's really red," Shiro commented. Keith glared at him. "What's going on?" He asked. He slung an arm around Keith's shoulders - the prosthetic one that Allura had made him. It was the same as his Galra one, but made of Altean tech and white.

He was just glad that it wasn't floating like Sendak's arm had. He could still do stuff like lock Keith into a headlock and not get bitten. It was a possibility with Keith.

"Lance asked me on a date," he mumbled.

"And?" Shiro prompted.

"I agreed." Shiro stopped and pulled Keith into a hug, right then and there in the middle of the hallway. People walked around them, some staring, but Shiro just... Didn't care. He was proud of Keith.

Keith hugged him back. They stood there for a bit until they pulled apart.

"So what are you two going to do?" He asked.

"He said that his mom is cooking dinner, and that she was going to make us something to eat, so we don't have to worry about that. As for the other things... He didn't say. He told me to wear something nice but casual."

"Want some help?"

"Please." Shiro grinned. He pulled Keith along, making the kid protest.

"Allura! Romelle!" He called out. Shiro knew exactly what he was doing, because while the Alteans would probably not be the best at this, they needed to get away from the base for a while. Besides, in their time as co-leaders, Allura became one of his best friends.

She was the only one besides Keith to know about Adam.

And, according to Krolia (and from what he'd seen in their travelling), Keith and Romelle were basically siblings. Shiro just knew that she'd love to help.

The girls turned around to face them. Allura smiled at them.

"Hello, Shiro. What do you need?" She asked.

"Keith has a date and he needs our help," Shiro said. He pulled Keith to be in front of him and held him there. Keith froze as Allura and Romelle's eyes went wide.

"I'd love to, but-"

"You need to get out and do something, Princess. Besides, you have a good fashion sense, and Keith... doesn't have one."

"Shiro's right about all of that," Romelle said. Keith opened his mouth to protest. "This might be just what you need, even if it's just for a small bit of time." Allura looked at the ground, brows furrowed. Then she looked up at Keith and studied him.

"Alright, I'll help. We should get a nice shirt, maybe something red? It'll look good," she said. Shiro grinned.

"What kind of date is it?" Romelle asked, going to link her arm with Keith's. Allura linked her arm with Keith's other arm, and Shiro walked next to Allura.

"All he told me was that his mom is going to make us something to eat and to wear something that's nice but causal," Keith said.

"We can work with that," Allura said.

"Don't do anything too over-the-top," Keith said, a scowl on his face.

"Don't worry, otouto, I won't let them get too excited," Shiro assured. Keith's scowl went away slightly at the word. His eyes widened, and Keith looked at him. Shiro smiled at him.

"Do you have anything you want to wear?" Romelle asked, pulling Keith's attention to her.

"Uh... No. That's... the entire reason why Shiro got your attention," he replied. Romelle nodded.

"Alright, then. Let's go and see what we can do with you." Shiro snorted again. Keith shot him a look. Shiro gave him a shit-eating grin.

They separated to get changed into something more casual, then reconvened at the entrance of the Garrison. Shiro tossed the keys up into the air and caught them.

"Right, are we ready to go?" He asked.

"Yes!" The girls replied eagerly. Keith huffed, his arms crossed.

"I guess," he said. Shiro nodded.

"Let's go then," he said. He led them to the car. Keith got the front passenger seat, leaving the girls in the back seat. Shiro guessed that it worked well for them, because they could talk a lot easier.

The drive to the mall was filled with chatter, soft music from the radio, and a bit of laughter. Shiro parked the car with ease, and they got out and headed inside.

He led them to the first store. Knowing Keith, he'd want to go to one, but knowing the girls, they'd want to do what they could to make Keith look his absolute best.

'I wish you were here,' he thought sadly. He didn't let it show, though. He wouldn't let it show.

The first store didn't have anything that they liked, or that Keith was particularly interested in, so they moved on to the next one. It was the same there, and at the next one. Keith was uncomfortable, that much was clear.

"Hey, loosen up a little," he said. Keith glared at him, and in response, Shiro smiled. "This is just like old times."

"Sure," Keith replied. Shiro knew what he was thinking. Honestly, he was thinking it too.

It's not the same without him.

"Alright, one last one, okay?" Shiro said.

"I do hope that we can find something, or else we might need to borrow something for you to wear," Allura said.

"I agree with that. I doubt that Shiro has anything that can fit you," Romelle agreed. She poked Keith's arm, making him scowl.

"There are others I can borrow things from," he grumbled.

"But we need something that works for you, Keith. Something that'll make Lance stop and appreciate your natural beauty," Shiro said.

"Not that there's much in the first place," Romelle muttered. Shiro nearly died laughing, which gained a bunch of strange looks from aliens and humans alike.

"You're so right, imoto," he agreed when he calmed down somewhat.

"What does that mean?" Romelle asked.

"Don't worry, it's not anything bad, right, otouto?" Keith was staring at Shiro as if he'd grown an extra head. Which, considering all things, would probably not be the weirdest thing ever.

They went into the last shop, and immediately, Shiro went to the shirts. He pulled one off of the rack and held it up to Keith. The girls joined him, all three of them studying him.

"What? Is something wrong?"

"That's the perfect shirt," Allura said. It was. The shirt was a sark red, one that didn't take from Keith's complexion and it was just perfect for him. Shiro made sure that it was in Keith's size before thrusting it at him.

"Hold that," he ordered. Keith looked down at the shirt.

"Huh... you're right. It is the perfect shirt," he commented.

"Don't doubt us," Shiro said. They moved onto the pants. It was Allura who found something this time.

"Why do these have holes in the legs?" She asked. Shiro looked up to see her holding up a pair of ripped skinny jeans.

"Oh! It's a Human fashion thing. A lot of people like the look of it," Shiro replied. He knew that. He was one of those people.

He probably couldn't pull them off as well as he used to. The thought was only slightly sad.

"Oh! Do you think that these will work with the shirt?" She asked. Keith looked at the jeans, before going through and finding his size. Once he had them, he added them to the small pile in his arms.

"Can we get converse?" Keith asked. Shiro stared at his brother.

"Converse?" He asked. Keith had the decency to look embarrased.

"I've always wanted converse, okay?" He said. That was all he needed to say before Shiro's instincts kicked in and he dragged his younger brother figure over to the shoes to find a pair of converse. His eyes landed on a pair, and he smiled.

"Here, to balance out the shirt," Shiro said. Keith blinked.

"Do you just- have my size memorized?" He asked.

"You didn't ask for a lot when you were younger, so I had to do a lot of guesswork when it came to you and your growth spurts," Shiro reminded. Keith nodded, but Shiro could see a small smile on his face.

"Go try everything on!" Romelle said. She herded Keith to the changing room.

"I'm such a proud nii-san," Shiro said when Keith entered.

"What do those words mean?" Allura asked. Shiro smiled.

"I'm Japanese, which is a group of people on Earth. My full name is Takashi Shirogane, which is a mouthful, so I just go by Shiro to make it easier, and also it's part of my culture to call someone by their last name," he said.

"So those words are from your language?" Romelle asked. Shiro nodded.

"Yup," he replied, popping the p.

"And they mean..?" Allura promted.

"Otouto means 'little brother'. Nii-san is older brother, and imoto is little sister," Shiro replied. Romelle hugged him. He returned it.

"Uh..." Keith had emerged from the changing room, wearing the full outfit.

"Beautiful!" Romelle declared.

"It's good but..." Shiro studied his little brother.

"But what?" He asked, clearly confused.

Keith hadn't pushed the sleeves up, which he knew his little brother preferred to do unless it was that jacket he's worn pretty much all the time. Even now, Shiro could remember how Keith would prefer to walk around in a t-shirt, even if it was freezing. That, and the shirt was completely tucked in, and the buttons...

Shiro sighed and stepped forward. He untucked part of the shirt, then rolled up the sleeves and unbuttoned the first two buttons. He stepped back and nodded.

"Oh, I see now. That's much better," Allura commented.

"I know," Shiro said. Keith looked at himself in the mirror.

"You're right," he agreed.

"Of course I am. I'm basically your brother, after all. And I'll tell you know, Lance will prefer for you to look less like a well put together person and more like a hobo."

"I don't look like a hobo!" Keith whined.

"I beg to differ," Shiro said. There was a smile on his face regardless. Keith smiled.

"Alright. I... I like it."

"Get back into your normal clothes and we'll go buy these."

"Can we go home after?" Keith asked.

"Yeah, we can," Shiro agreed. Keith nodded, and went back into the changing room. When he next stepped out, he was wearing his normal clothes, the things he'd been trying on in his arms.

They bought the things, and they left for the Garrison. Keith hung out with him for a bit until Shiro ushered him to go get changed. Keith obeyed him, showering and changing. When he came out, Shiro helped him tie his hair up (they had to get Pidge to help, in the end. She cackled at them for a while) and sent Keith off to his date. Kosmo went with him, leaving Shiro all alone in the apartment.

The apartment, that he had shared with Adam.

Without Keith or Kosmo there to distract him, he began to spiral. Sam had made sure that the place stayed the same when Adam died, insisting that it be kept how it was for Shiro and Keith to go back to.

While he was glad, he also wouldn't have argued for it back if Sam hadn't done that.

Memories swirled around his mind. Good ones and bad ones. Memories of tickling Keith, or wrangling him into doing his homework. Of Adam watching and laughing, or helping Keith with the things that he struggled with. Of all the times they'd both comforted Keith when he needed it, and all of the times Adam and Shiro had cried together when it seemed hopeless.

He also remembered how he'd been sitting on that very same couch years prior, breaking down when Adam said that they were over.

Shiro fled from the lounge and went into the bedroom. It had been tidy when he arrived, as if someone had gone in and cleaned up the place before his arrival. He would have preferred that they didn't, in all honesty. It had made him feel so empty when he got back to see that Adam was dead, and that the room they'd once shared was clean, as if all evidence of Adam had been erased.

It also meant that he didn't have Adam's scent.

That would be so depressing to someone else, wanting to have your dead ex-fiancé's scent on things. Shiro just wanted to have Adam with him, and his scent would have helped him fool himself into thinking that it was just another day, that there was never a war, and he was never sick, and that Kerberos had never happened, that Adam was just in the bathroom, or out on an errand.

He didn't have that though. What he did have was a half-packed bag, and so many things strewn around the room.

He sat on the foot of the bed and looked around. Nothing was tidy anymore. The desk was filled with things that came with being the captain of the Atlas, and the bed was messy and unmade from all of the times Shiro had woken up from a nightmare or was unable to sleep.

He had wanted Adam in those moments. He never got him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered for the millionth time. He didn't think that he could cry. He didn't have energy to do anything.

He decided that, despite not having any energy, he'd still pack.

He grabbed spare clothing and his toiletries, putting them into the suitcase. He may have grabbed a few of Adam's favourite things that would be able to survive the trip; his favourite hoodie, his favourite cologne that was still there. That was about it, though. Shiro got up and searched through the house, trying to find something.

He found a picture. There were a lot of pictures around the house, but this... This had always been his favourite one.

Shiro and Adam had gotten Keith a passport, and they were able to take him to another country for a couple of weeks. They decided to take him to Japan, which Keith had taken an interest in the most out of their combined cultures. It was spring, so the sakura were beginning to blossom. Shiro took Keith and Adam to the festival at night, all of them wearing traditional Japanese clothing.

This particular picture captured that night. The pink sakura were in full bloom behind Adam and Keith, lit up by lanterns. Keith was grinning, holding a dango in one hand. Adam was standing next to him, smiling at the camera. Both of his hands were on Keith's shoulders, a golden ring glinting on one of his fingers.

Right. That was not too long after Shiro had proposed. Keith had insisted on getting the dango after the proposal to celebrate, and that's why it was there.

Adam looked so young and so, so happy. Shiro picked up the picture gingerly and touched his fingers to Adam's image, smiling and forever happy. He remembered feeling so, unimaginably happy when he took the picture, knowing that one day he'd be married to Adam, with his pseudo-brother with them.

"How did we get to this point, love?" He whispered. The question was a stupid one. He knew how they got to this point.

He walked back to the bedroom, looking at the picture. He placed it into his suitcase, wrapping it up in his clothes to keep it safe. He zipped up his suitcase and sat back on his chins, sitting the way that he'd been raised to sit by his grandparents.

He heard a knock on the front door. He got up to investigate, and opened it to see Krolia standing there. She was holding something in her hands.

"Krolia," he said, surprised.

"Hello, Shiro. May I come in?" She said.

"Uh- sure," he replied. He let her in, and watched with appreciation as she took off her shoes in the entry way, lining them up against the wall with the other shoes.

Adam's runners were there still.

"I brought some food," Krolia said.

"Oh! That's... That's actually really nice of you, thanks," he said. He led her to the kitchen, where he pulled out plates. They served themselves, and sat at the kitchen counter on the barstools, eating in comfortable silence.

They'd bonded over their shared care for Keith, and Shiro had been able to give Krolia plenty of stories of Keith's misadventures. Now, they'd become friends. It was nice, to be able to talk to someone else who cared about Keith as much as he did again. Though Krolia's care for Keith was deeper than Shiro's was, but she was his mother, and Shiro was the older brother.

"Lance came to me earlier," Krolia said. There was amusement in her voice.

"Was it about his date with Keith?" Shiro asked.

"It was," she said. Shiro laughed.

"I saw that. Man, they were both so hopeless for so long, and it only got worse when we were stuck in space. I swear, I thought I would have to stage an intervention at some point with how hopeless they were," Shiro mused, laughing slightly at the memory.

"I had to witness two years of that in the quantum abyss," Krolia said.

"Any amount of time with one of them talking about the other would make you want to shake them and tell them to just confess already." Krolia laughed at that. "What did Lance want, anyway?"

"He wanted my blessing to date Keith," she replied.

"And you said?"

"Yes, obviously. I don't know it Keith has shared this with you, but while we were in the quantum abyss, we saw flashes of the future. I saw Keith and Lance with two children, Keith and Lance dancing on the beach together, and I saw so much of Keith being so happy with Lance. I couldn't say no to him after seeing all of that." Shiro hummed.

"I've seen how Keith and Lance have grown from getting on each others nerves constantly to what they are now. It's so amazing to see how they grew in the time I was away. They're really close now, and I'm glad that they are. Keith needs someone to be a near constant in his life. For a while, I've been that, but he's getting older, and I disappeared on him twice. Lance wouldn't dream of disappearing on Keith like that."

"I agree. Lance is a wonderful boy. I told him that, you know. I told him that I wouldn't want anyone else to date Keith, and that he already had my blessing," Krolia said.

"That's good. I just hope that they don't make the same mistake that I did."

"And what was that if I may ask?" Shiro sighed and put his fork down.

"I had a boyfriend, when I met Keith. I still remember when I came home and told Adam that I wanted to foster this child that was angry at the world and needed someone on his side, to give him direction. He said that he needed to think about it, but barely half an hour later he was agreeing to it.

We ended up taking Keith in together, and we managed to get him a passport. When we did, we planned a holiday to Japan, which is where I'm from. Keith had taken a huge interest in my culture, so we took him there to look at the sakura and to give him a good memory, you know? I ended up proposing to Adam then, and we were happy. We were a family, but then Kerberos came up. Adam... he didn't want me to go, but I did anyway, and he broke off the engagement, and I disappeared for what, five years? And now he's dead." He was crying. Shiro was aware of that.

Krolia didn't say anything, just placed her hand on his back and rubbing circles. Shiro remembered how Keith said that his dad had died in a fire, and realised that, with the whole seeing the past and future thing, Krolia had probably found out that her child's father had been dead for a few good years.

"I miss him so much that it hurts. Physically and mentally, it hurts. I've lost a piece of me, and I don't know if it will ever be found again, or mended."

"I'm sorry for your loss, Shiro," Krolia said. He knew that she meant it. The man she had loved was dead, and all she had from that relationship was her estranged son.

All Shiro had was a ring on a chain, pictures, and memories.

They spent the next while in silence. When Krolia left, she pulled Shiro into a hug. He returned it, thankful to have some sort of comfort from someone who knew his pain, who knew how it felt to leave Earth and the one they loved to end up fighting in a war, only for that person to end up dead.

He didn't keep her for long, and before he knew it, he was alone again. He sighed and sat on the couch. Faintly, he registered that it was the same one that he'd been sitting on after he came home after Iverson and Sanda tried to convince Sam to chose another pilot for the Kerberos mission.

He stood up and walked, not really thinking. His feet moved on autopilot, he said things without registering them. When he came out of his daze, he was standing in front of Adam's name plate on the memorial wall.

"Hey, love," he whispered. He didn't know it he would be able to speak any louder than that. "I know that you never wanted me to go on that mission, but I... I wouldn't change it. I would only change the fact that we broke up because of it. And if I had it my way, you would be a crew member of the Atlas and coming with me. I promise that I'll stop going into space after we win. I promise." He was silent for a while, just staring at the name plate.

Something small and warm hugged him. A hand came to rest on his shoulder.

"He was fun," Pidge murmured. Shiro nodded slowly.

"He was," Shiro agreed.

"We'll make sure that his sacrifice was never in vain," Matt assured.

"I know. I just... I don't know if I'll ever be able to move on," Shiro admitted. Pidge's arms tightened around him.

"Time will tell," Matt reminded him.

And that was why Matt ended up becoming his and Adam's friend. He knew what to say in this moment, and Shiro couldn't ask for a better friend.

He was joined by the rest of the Holts, standing there and remembering Adam as they knew him. A student, a friend, a teacher, and, for Shiro, his sunlight.

"We should go now," Sam said gently.

"I'll come soon," Shiro promised. The Holts left him, talking in low voices. He closed his eyes for a couple moments and opened them. "Aishite, Adam. I will come back, and I will never, ever leave Earth again, just like you wanted." He left the memorial wall behind.

He'd keep that promise. He'd make sure of that.

#voltron #vld #keith kogane #lance mcclain #princess allura #pidge holt #hunk garrett #coran #takashi shirogane #shiro angst #should i edit things? #yeah i probably should #do i edit things? #nope

[the-kittens-of-vol-tron]

Yes I'm an angst writer. Yes I headcanon that Shiro is insecure and has anxiety (pre kerberos) but is really good at hiding it behind a wall of confidence

#like #hes the best so its easy to put up the persona #but inside he be screaming #takashi shirogane #shiro vld #shiro voltron legendary defender #shangst #shiro angst #angst #random headcanon

[icypantherwrites]

Whumptober: This Nightmare is Mine (Please Don’t Let it Become Yours)

Whumptober Prompt: Proof of Life — Screams from Across the Hall — Lance (+ Shiro)

This Nightmare is Mine (Please Don’t Let it Become Yours)

Summary: When Shiro winds up captured in a setting that he’s starting to fear is reminiscent of his time with the Galra, his only comfort is that the rest of the team is safe and they won’t ever have to live this nightmare.

And then he hears Lance scream.

Read it here.

#whumptober #whump #screams from across the hall #Voltron #VLD #fanfiction #Lance #Shiro #Shiro angst #Lance whump #protective Shiro #Platonic Shance #Platonic #shance #shiro voltron #lance voltron #icypanther #icypantherwrites #whumptober 2022

[standbipeasant07]

Day 17: pistol

Shiro joined the army to protect lives. Not to take them...

Ayyyyyy, I'm posting a bit late [correction: a LOT late] please bear me and my angsty Shiro art!!!!

#shiro (voltron) angst #shiro angst #vld shiro #takashi shirogane #shiro voltron #100 days of sketching #day 17: pistol #peasant art

[shiro-00s]

heaven on earth ✭ ˎˊ-

ft. social media au ⸝⸝ idol!xiao x fem!reader

synopsis ; — in which you befriend your next door neighbour who, unbeknownst to you, was apart of a soon-to-be one of the most popular bands throughout liyue. you're unable to tell if cupid was helping you or not when things with xiao keept going up and down. will he continue to keep his secret from yours truly?

genre — 5wirl band au, next door neighbour (apartment but same thing), slow-burn, fluff, crack, angst (at some point yea), modern au, flirty x shy trope, sfw, includes writing ✰

staus — on-going

PROFILES — sleep deprived workaholics / an(emo) qties

table of contents !

00. prologue .. once upon a time ✮

01. cupid meter !

02. information acquired !

03. gift from stranger !

04. communication is key ✮

05. gift for stranger !

06. pride or nice !

07. unwinding !

08. a new number !

09. out of character !

10. unfamiliar warmth ✮

11. yet !

12. surely a dinner !

13. who he really is !

14. free tickets !

15. hint of the past !

16. arrivals !

17. face-to-face ✮

18. stupid scandal !

19. knock knock !

20. drastic measures !

21. mission accomplished !

22. war is over !

23. second date !

24. picture perfect ✮

25. enlighten us !

26. father-son bond !

27. maternal instinct !

28. family business !

29. a routine !

30. suffocating room !

31. oh no !

32. battlefield !

33. unwanted encounters ✮

34. at fault !

35. exciting news !

36. welcome back !

37. no denial !

38. square one !

39. oblivious !

40. a dumbass !

41. one step closer !

42. hand in marriage !

43. code red !

TAGLIST [OPEN] — @mikctp @ghostlysyntaxed @kazemiya @nnasv @gojoandelsalovechilde @candy-purple-cyanide @kissingkzuha @zyilas @lunaavity @luminescent-light @mave-in @rizakari @riikyu @kokoscutie @starsxnight @sketcheeee @softlie @izakyun @xiaxilia @the-sweet-madame

(ask to be added or removed)

#genshin #genshin impacct #genshin smau #genshin impact smau #genshin impact x reader #xiao x reader #xiao fluff #xiao angst #xiao imagines #xiao x reader smau #xiao genshin #xiao genshin impact #xiao #genshin impact idol au #genshin impact modern au #genshin imagines #genshin fluff #genshin angst #heaven on earth - shiro.

[mothmanavenue]

feels like a lifetime just try a get by, while i’m dying inside

#voltron #song: july by noah cyrus #voltron legendary defender #voltron fanart #vld #vld fanart #shiro vld #shiro voltron art #voltron shiro #shiro vld fanart #shiro vld art #shiro voltron fanart #shiro voltron angst #shiro voltron #vld shiro #takashi shirogane #takashi shirogane fanart #takashi shirogane art

[the-feral-gremlin]

Cw: mentioned nightmares, death in dream. Also

Sh*ithers DNI

I think Shiro couldn’t look Keith in the eye for the while after the clone fight, even though He knows that it wasn’t him and it wasn’t his fault, but he still blames himself for the scar on his little brothers face and all the hurtful words the clone said.

I think he lies awake at night, replaying the fight over and over again in his mind, wondering if Keith feared him as much as he feared himself. I think he’d dream of his brother’s blood on his hands and the feeling of falling.

#just Shiro remembering the clone fight #i’m rambling #takashi shirogane #broganes #broganes angst #sheith dni #anti sheith #keith kogane #voltron legendary defender

[uniquecellest]

Yknow what's really good and angsty?

A flashback Adam could have just before he dies (or gets captured by the Galra) and it goes back to the fight he and Shiro had over Shiro going on Kerberos. Like perhaps days before Sanda approaches Adam and proposes that Adam threatens to end it with Shiro to maybe keep Shiro from going.

Adam refutes this idea because he wants to support Shiro even if it means they don't have long together when he gets back.

Sanda then threatens Adam's rank. Seeing that is being futile, she threatens Shiro's rank as an officer. That gets Adam. Sanda promises to make Shiros life hell once he gets back.

So Adam agrees. Because he knows how much being a pilot means to Shiro and he doesn't want to see what Sanda will do to either of them.

The dreaded day of the argument comes.

Adam doesn't win at all. Shiro is adamant about going and just lost it all because of Sanda.

Then shortly after the launch (because yes Adam went he's going to support Shiro no matter what) Sanda pulls Adam into her office. Adam confirms that he did threaten their relationship yet Shiro was adamant on going.

Sanda is upset by this because she thought losing the love of one's life would make them reconsider. Adam pleads that he can leave the Garrison as long as Shiro can keep his position. Adam pleads that since he did try to keep Shiro from going and Shiro still went Shiro shouldn't pay the price.

Sanda says she will think about it and that infuriates Adam. Before he can do anything Sanda dismisses him.

Adam leaves angry. Outside he sees Keith in the waiting chairs. Because the young teen was curious to see Adam and Sanda together and he overheard everything. While he was mad at Adam for breaking up with Shiro he's even more pissed at Sanda and wants to hit her. Adam stops him. They spend time together but it's not easy. Both grieve privately while trying to be strong for the other in front of people.

Kerberos is then declared a failure and Adam breaks down. He cries in front of Keith for the first time in a long while because he lost Shiro twice. Both blame Sanda thinking that she sent a secret team out to Kerberos to make sure Shiro doesn't come back.

In the following days Keith gets expelled. Sanda says that Adam cannot have any contact with Keith.

They still do via walkie-talkies or private phone calls because Adam buys Keith burner phones. Adam visits Keith at the shack. Sanda tries to make Adam stop but since she can't prove that it is Keith Adam goes out to see or talks to she doesn't have a leg to stand on with Iverson taking Adam's side. Even the entirety of Garrison engineers take Adam's side (because they all know it's Keith and dislike Sanda and loved Shiro, Matt, and Sam) that she has to step down.

Adam comes to whispering "I'm sorry" he means I love you.

Adam is the last person the Garrison hears.

#voltron legendary defender #voltron #takashi shirogane #adam voltron #adashi #adam x shiro #shadam #shiro x adam #shirogane takashi #shiro #shiro voltron #voltron shiro #voltron adam #adashi voltron #shadam voltron #angst #adashi angst #angst with a happy ending? #who knows #cut to shiro being big mad when he finds out #if Sanda did not die already Shiro or Keith would need her to be in witness protection #admiral sanda slander #pro admiral sanda slander

[autisticlancemcclain]

When Shiro hears news of his mother’s death, his first thought is good riddance.

His second thought is fuck. Loudly, and repeated many times in his head. And out loud. In the middle of the night, sitting straight up in bed, startling his fiancé awake.

“T’kashi?” he mutters, eye squinted as he blindly pays the bedside table for his glasses. “What’s going on?”

Shiro’s mouth works on autopilot. “It’s my mother.”

As it always does when she is brought up, which is frequently due to her many life decisions, Adam’s face wrinkles as if he just bit into something very sour.

“Oh. What the fuck is she up to now?”

“Uh, the afterlife.”

Adam’s face freezes. Shiro chokes down hysterical laughter. It doesn’t work, and comes out kind of reedy and strangled.

“Mr. Shirogane,” comes the tinny voice from his phone, and Shiro startles.

“Oh, shit, yes. Sorry. Um. I wanted to ask about my brother. Where is he? When can I pick him up?”

There’s a hesitance from the other end that Shiro doesn’t like. He sits up straighter, if at all possible, and Adam’s face hardens — it has been a four year long fight, with his mother, to try to get Keith over as often as possible for even an ounce of stability, and not a fight they have won very frequently, but it is not one they’re willing to give up. Shiro has no doubt that the state will fight just as hard as his mother did.

Adam and Shiro will simply fight harder.

“The safety of the child is the state’s first concern,” the lawyer says neutrally.

“Great. Give me an address and twenty minutes, then, and I’ll bring him right home.”

The lawyer’s voice is steely. “He is home, with a lovely young couple who are happy to have him.”

“There is a lovely young couple who he is related to and whom he has familiarity with right here,” Shiro grits out. “Tell me where my brother is.”

The lawyer waits a moment. “It might be a difficult transition, you know. It would be nice for Keith to have a mother and a father, for once.”

Before Shiro can even blink, a hand reaches over and snatches the phone right from his face, and Adam throws it open onto the bedspread, presses speaker, and sets off.

“You listen here, you gristly assed motherfucker. Takashi has the right of next of kin. Failing proof of neglect or abuse, which you have tried and failed to invent on our end so many times the court as all but banned you from trying again, Keith is legally required to be placed in our home should Shirogane Saori be found incapable of care. And, as you can imagine, lying on a table in a morgue renders one quite incapable. If you don’t provide an address clearly and concisely in the next fifteen seconds, I will sue not only you and your firm, but you mother, your father, your children, and you dusty tailor, you ugly brown suit wearing hetero. Are we understood?”

There’s another stretch of silence, wherein despite the gravity of the situation Shiro considers proposing to his fiancé again, before the lawyer finally speaks.

“…Group home on 4th and King.”

“Thank you,” Adam says tersely, and slams the phone closed. He scoffs at it. “Fucking jackass. Someone should kill him.”

Shiro snorts. Then he giggles. Then he starts laughing, and then he can’t stop, and he laughs so hard tears come to his eyes, and then they don’t stop, either, and his breath hitches and a lump forms in his throat and his whole face starts to get itchy. Adam pulls him into him immediately, cradling him into his lap like he’s a child, and he goes without resistance because it’s Adam doing to holding, and because he doesn’t know where this sadness is coming from. He has hated his mother for more years than he has loved her. The only time he’s thanked her for anything in the last eight years was one he held Keith in the hospital, skipping his first day of high school to do it. She has been crueler than kind to him for most of his life.

But she was his mother, in many ways. In all ways except the ones that mattered. And apparently that counts for something.

“We need to go,” Shiro whispers, trying to lift his head. Adam gently presses it back into his neck, holding his arms around him.

“It’s four in the morning, starshine. Maybe we wait a few hours?”

“No.” The hoarseness of his own voice makes him wince. “He can’t…Adam, I don’t even like my mother, and look at me. Keith is going to be inconsolable. She carted him around like a baby doll. He loved her.”

Adam winces. He knows it’s true as much as Shiro does. Their mother’s erratic lifestyle has gifted Keith an assortment of attachment issues, as evidenced by the tantrums whenever she dropped him off at their apartment when she was bored.

Not that Keith understands the issue. Because he is four, and because he has gone through more things in his four years of life than many children will before they are even ten, but not enough to stop thinking his mother is the most important person on Earth.

Quickly they dress, shoving in whatever clothes are near without worrying about looking presentable. They don’t bother with much more than brushing their teeth, skipping shaving and breakfast and coffee in favour of speeding to the parking garage.

It only takes them fifteen minutes to get to the group home the lawyer has mentioned, and they waste no time in rushing up the steps, uncaring of social norms or etiquette as they ring the doorbell and stand fidgeting at the front door.

It takes a long time for the door to open. Shiro can’t help feeling like that is intentional.

“What,” barks the man at the door, as if their intent isn’t expressly obvious given the circumstance.

“I’m here to pick up my brother,” Shiro says as politely as he can manage. “Keith?”

“He’s sleeping,” says the man, who Shiro presumes is one of the foster parents running the home. “Come back tomorrow.” He tries to slam the door shut, but before he can register his own movement Shiro is slamming his hand against the door. The wood cracks under his palm.

He doesn’t bother saying anything. He doesn’t have it in him. He simply shoves the door open, sending the man stumbling, and strides in, remembering at the last second to try and keep quiet so as to not wake any other sleeping children. It takes him three tries to find the right room, but when he finally swings open the right door he knows, from the very second he sees the lump of blankets on the bottom bunk in the far right corner. He stands frozen for a moment at the door, watching his baby brother breathe, seeing the dried tear tracks on his face, the stutter of his breaths and shake of his chest. His thumb is firmly in his mouth, a habit he’s had broken for two years.

Shiro’s eyes begin to leak again. He feels Adam squeeze his bicep once in comfort, then wordlessly he walks off, gathering the messy scattering of Keith’s things into a large backpack. Trusting him to know or guess what belongs to his brother — all largely things they’ve bought him — Shiro approaches the bed, kneeling carefully at the edge of it. He reaches out and brushes Keith’s hair out of his face, gliding his thumb across his forehead. It wrinkles as Keith wakes, squinting his eyes up at Shiro in grogginess and confusion. It takes him a moment to register what’s going on, but Shiro knows the exact second it does, because his indigo eyes go blank the way they do when Keith is so far overwhelmed he can’t even come close to starting to process how he feels. Shiro braces himself for whatever vitriol, likely directly quoted from their mother, is about to come out of his mouth.

“I don’t want you,” Keith cries. He makes a sound in the back of his throat, cracked and strained; a long, keening cry. His face twists up and he glares at Shiro in what can only be described as betrayal, as if it’s Shiro’s fault their mother is gone, as if it was Shiro’s evil plan to take her away forever so he can never go back.

He wouldn’t even be surprised if that’s what their mother has told him. It hurts anyway.

“I know,” he chokes out, hushed. He brushes his thumb over Keith’s forehead again, slow, from temple to temple, and to his surprise his brother leans into it slightly as his breaths hitch with sobs. “I know, baby.”

He exchanges a look with Adam, who, God Shiro loves him so much, understands immediately: they have ten minutes.

Two years ago, when their mother dropped Keith off at his doorstep one day and fucked off to Atlanta for a week, Shiro decided enough was enough. Keith was convinced she was coming back to get him every morning and was devastated when she didn’t. It was an endless, sisyphian cycle. Shiro took the day off school, took his limited funds, and brought Keith to a paediatric specialist. It was of course not the most thorough evaluation, as that was something that could only be done with time, but there was almost definitely some valuable input. Shiro learned, in harried, layman’s terms, that their mother’s flakiness meant Keith always believed he was about to be left behind. Her babying of him lead him to believe that he was at fault when that happened. When he was actually happened, he was prone to tears and affection, trying to win back his mother, trying to prove that he was a good enough baby doll for her, basically.

And if that doesn’t work…well. Then the hurt and the anger start, and God knows how long it will last.

“Ten minutes,” Adam mutters, stuffing one last thing into the backpack and shoving it over his shoulders. “Let’s go.”

Taking the blanket with him, because fuck these guys, Shiro lifts his baby brother up, holding him tightly to himself, pressing his face into his neck. He starts to powerwalk down the hallway back to the front door, Adam close behind him. He vaguely hears the same man who opened the door start to argue with them, start to try to stop them, and he trusts Adam to handle it, because all he can hear in his head is a countdown. If they don’t make it to the car in time and Keith starts really wailing, they are going to take him away, and Shiro knows he will never get fucking visiting rights because the family court system is the most broken thing in America, and Keith will be shoved into some random group home that doesn’t care about him and won’t care about him and he’ll be treated like shit or worse not treated like anything at all, and he will grow up thinking that there is no one who loves him and no one to turn to and Shiro will never forgive himself or his mother or the world.

He needs to get his brother to the car.

He rushes down the beaten down concrete steps as fast as he can while still being careful in the dark. The car is half a block away, the only place they could find parking, and he starts to jog, ignoring the ache in his arms. He’s held Keith for longer. At the seven minute mark, he registers yelling voices and a door slam and Adam’s rapid footsteps behind him, and by the ninth they make it to their beat up piece of shit fourth-hand car, throwing open the back door, setting Keith down gently, bucking the kid in as quickly as they can manage.

Shiro has lost count of how much time they have, if they have any at all. His heart pounds so rapidly he can feel it everywhere in his body. He’s bitten the inside of his cheek so harshly he can taste blood. He feels like he’s gonna throw up.

He’s barely thrown a seatbelt on by the time Adam shifts into gear and tears out onto the busy street, cars honking at him. Shiro meets his eyes in the rearview mirror, trying to find strength in his look, in his support. He tries to tell himself that the worst part is over, now; Keith is with him, beside him in the back seat, Keith is going to stay with him forever, now, he is going to make his baby brother’s life stable from now on. They are starting to swim their way out of the deep end.

And then the wailing starts.

It’s loud. Keith takes a huge, deep breath, then lets out a noise that Shiro can only describe as agonised, so big and heavy that it pulls on his little body, straining against the seatbelt. His face is bright red from the force of it, and Shiro can count his teeth with how wide open his mouth is. Bizarrely, Shiro wonders if he’s loud enough for the windows to break, or their eardrums. He’s not sure if his own pain comes from his ears or his heart.

“I want my mama!” Keith sobs, shouts, screams, cries. “I want my mama! I want my mama!”

“I know,” Shiro whispers again, for what feels like the millionth time that night. Between Keith’s stuttering breaths Shiro hears Adam’s soft cries, looks up to see tears streaming down his face. He’s surprised to find his own face dry as a bone, the lump in his throat he’d felt earlier completely disintegrated. He feels hollowed out. “I know, Akira. I know. I know.”

Shiro wonders if this is what it feels like to drown.

#i’m sorry this is so painful i have more planned for this universe okay i have been obsessed w it since i came up w it #vld #voltron #shiro #takashi shirogane #keith #keith kogane #keith & shiro #broganes #adam #adashi #adam & keith #adam & keith & shiro #hurt no comfort #hurt comfort #modern au #difficult situations #angst #shiro angst #keith angst #the hana universe #hana universe #longpost #my writing #foster car system

[lyxanislive]

101/366 - Bad End

#shallura #lyx24 #shiro #allura #shiro x allura #tw death #angst #bad end

[writing-fanics]

[ Kaneki Ken x Reader Fanfic Ideas ]

Key ⛈ angst / 🌦fluff and angst / ☀️ fluff /

to the stars [ kaneki ken x f!human!reader]

[summary: kaneki and y/n, finally give themselves to each other under the night sky]

never again [ kaneki ken x reader ]

[summary: his cries and pleas went unheard..as he watched as they were eaten alive in front of him]

I’m having this baby [ kaneki ken human!f!reader ]

[summary: y/n becomes pregnant with Kaneki’s child and is determined that her and the baby will live]

#x reader #fanfic #angst #headcanons #fluff #romance #kaneki ken x reader #ken kaneki #shiro kaneki #ken kaneki x reader #tokyo ghoul kaneki

[icypantherwrites]

Fic Update: Bottled Ocean, Chapter 43

Been forever since I posted a Bottled Ocean update on Tumblr (or really any fanfiction updates, but just not really feeling the energy to do so since not too many folks reading anymore and no audience on Tumblr on top of AO3 still not unlocking my story despite removing the link and mention to/of RAINN (which is also still bullshit)). Lots happening though in this Mer!Lance and Slaves! Shiro and Keith whumpy story so might try to resume chapter snippets for it at least (if I can remember). Enjoy :)

Chapter 43 snippet:

It took Shiro a second to realize Lotor had addressed him in his spiel as his brain combined ‘inside’ with the knife and he’d thought Lotor was about to cut Lance but he…

Wanted Shiro’s blood?

Shiro held said appendage out with only the back of his mind knowledge that Lotor was not so stupid as to remove his arm — and the knife was not a bonesaw, it wasn’t — lending him the ability to do so.

He still bit down on his tongue as Lotor, after sliding the arm sleeve back, cut a sliver on Shiro’s arm that immediately welled with blood.

And Lance’s head shot up so fast Shiro winced at the whiplash as those dark ocean eyes zoomed in right on Shiro and he had the strangest sense of deja vu of Lance doing the exact same thing when—

Shiro’s breath caught as he realized it was the exact same reaction as to when Keith had been brought above deck injured and sick and how Lance had been hyper aware of the other boy.

And the common factor?

Shiro glanced down at his arm where crimson was starting to drip down.

“Ah,” Lotor’s voice was soft and delighted and it made a shiver roll down Shiro’s spine. “And so the legends are true. Mers,” his thumb smeared along the wound and lifted up a now red finger, “are attracted to blood.”

He turned to Lance, who shrank back at his approach, and Shiro could see the corner of Lotor’s mouth curl up in amusement at the reaction. “Tell me, Lance,” he knelt in front of the boy and thrust his bloodied finger at Lance’s face and he recoiled even more. “Do you smell it? Taste it in the air? What drives you to it?”

“I…”

Lance’s voice was barely a whisper and he was shaking, face pale. “I just… do.”

“That is not an answer,” Lotor’s voice hardened slightly and he turned to look over his shoulder at Shiro. “That sounds like insubordination, does it not, Shiro?”

“I, I don’t know,” Lance stammered, voice rising in pitch as Lotor summoned a crackle of lightning to his fingers and turned to face Shiro and Shiro fought to remain impassive as he knew what was about to come.

It was just pain.

“I, I swear. I don’t,” Lance continued. “Pl-please. I don’t know. I, I just felt it—”

“Felt it?” Lotor interrupted him and Shiro held his breath as a purple wreathed hand remained inches away from his chest. “But you did not touch it.”

Lance shook his head. “The, the wound. I felt—”

“Of course,” Lotor breathed, whirling back around so quickly his hair slapped Shiro in the face but it wasn’t lightning and the man’s voice was back to excited. “Of course,” he repeated, pulling out his notebook. “With Mers' affinity for healing magic it would make sense that they can sense the wound and therefore are highly attuned to blood. Fascinating. The legends are true but,” he chuckled, “not in the way we interpreted.”

Read the full chapter here

#voltron #vld #lance #langst #shiro #hurt lance #hurt shiro #whump #torture #angst #lotor #bottled ocean #icypanther #icypantherwrites #mer #mer fic #merman #mer!Lance #mer lance #slave

[chasinglifeandlove]

finally finished the first chapter of a klance fic about keith coming back from the blades and finding out lance died… i live for the angst and it’s an issue. anyway, if anyone’s curious here’s the link!

#voltron #klance #klance angst #lance mcclain #keith kogane #vld shiro #vld #fanfiction #ao3

[the-kittens-of-vol-tron]

LAMCE CRYING AFTER RECEIVING HIS FIRST FORM OF POSSITIVE REINFORCEMENT FROM AN ADULT AND HE DIDNT GET ANY AS THE YOUNGEST CHILD SO HE COVERED IT UP WITH FALSE BRAVADO

MY BOYYYYY THIS HITS CLOSE TO HOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

-----

"Mama mama mama!!!!" Lance ran into the room where his mom was sitting, holding up a piece of paper. "Look what I did!" He held up his math test from the day before, presenting a 90% written in red at the top.

His mom grabbed the paper, looking at the grade and the answers he got wrong. "90 isn't bad. Make sure you review the answer you got wrong and make sure you understand it okay?” 

Lance took the paper back from his mom, "okay mama."

---

Lance gripped his color pencil tighter, he hated shading colors, it was by far his least favorite lesson in art class. He looked at the picture he was drawing, it was an attempt at a sunset. The yellow and orange were not blending nicely, it was an abrupt change. Not what the teacher wanted. 

“How are you doing Lance?” The older person leaned over him, their eyes scanning his paper. 

Lance sighed, “not good. I can’t get them to blend smoother.” 

His teacher hummed, “don’t be so aggressive when you hold your pencils. Start over if you can’t blend it out. Okay?” 

Lance nodded, dropping the pencil on the desk, “okay.” 

---

“CONGRATULATIONS VERONICA!!!” Lance pulled on the confetti popper in his hand, noisemakers and other confetti flying into the air. 

The entire family was back in the childhood home, congratulating Veronica on her acceptance to the Garrison. 

Veronica was grinning from ear to ear as she moved around the party, not even making it two steps before she was stopped by somebody to talk. 

“I’m going to get into the Garrison. Just you watch,” Lance held onto his plastic cup tightly as he watched his sister. 

“Get your grades up son, it takes dedication to get into that school.” 

Lance stared down into his cup, “okay papa.” 

---

“Do I need to remind you that the only reason you’re here is the best fighter pilot in your class got upset and flunked out?” Iverson leaned down in front of Lance, his voice sounded like nails on a chalkboard.  

Lance swallowed around the lump forming in his throat; trying to ignore the sting burning behind his eyes. 

“Get out of my sight. And bond with your team!” 

Lance borderline bolted out of the room. Hiding under a pile of bedsheets on his bed, he wanted to go home. He couldn’t make it here. 

---

Lance moved through his life with a smile on his face and his shoulders squared back. He made sure to never let his negative emotions be the main focus of his outward appearance. 

He was an over-the-top flirt, shooting his shot whenever he could. He was constantly smiling, cheering people along, and being his happy-go-lucky self. 

He didn’t let people see the small frowns that formed on his face when he was given advice on how to do something better. He didn’t let anyone see the tears that fell in the shower as he tried to rationalize that he had a place in the world and he contributed to things. 

He didn’t let anyone see the side of him that wasn’t his fake confidence or him smiling through everything. 

Being part of Voltron was good for him. They really were a good team. And Lance got complimented, usually by being grouped with the team but it was still nice to hear “good job” from someone that wasn’t Hunk or his age. 

Lance stared down the scope on his rifle, slowly moving it as his target paced back and forth. The entire mission relied on this shot. 

If he missed the entire ship would be alerted and they would be in an all-out battle. If he succeeded, no one would be alerted and Pidge and Keith could slip in undetected. 

He took a deep breath, holding it in his lungs as he double-checked his aim. He quickly released his breath, his finger squeezing the trigger at the same time. 

A muffled shot rang through the air and his target collapsed onto the ground; unmoving. 

Lance took another breath, trying to shake the nerves from his body. “Got him.” 

“Good job Lance, I knew you could do it.” Shiro’s voice crackled through his helmet. “Pidge, you and Keith need to start-” 

Lance tuned his leader out. His portion of the mission was done, he simply needed to wait for Allura or Shiro to come get him when they had a chance. 

He felt the tears on his face before he realized he was crying. It was slight at first. One swipe from the back of his hand and his face was cleared. But the tears kept falling. 

He wasn’t sobbing but no matter what he did he couldn’t stop himself from crying. I finally did something right. He slumped down against the wall he was camped out by, letting his gun rest on the ground beside him. I did something right. 

The black lion landed in front of him a couple of minutes later and Lance picked up his things before entering the lion. 

“How did the mission go?” Lance prayed Shiro didn’t hear how his voice cracked on the words. That he didn’t realize he was crying only a couple of minutes ago. 

“Success.” Shiro began to pilot his lion back towards the castle, Lance sitting on a seat in the back. 

Lance exited the lion, he knew everyone else was waiting on the bridge but before he could make his way up Shiro's hand was on his shoulder. 

“Lance, I just wanted to say again, good job out there today. We seriously could not have done that without you.” 

Lance bit his lip, keeping his eyes trained on the ground and his back to his leader. “Don’t mention it.” 

Shiro's hand loosened slightly, “is everything okay?” 

Lance nodded his head, clearing his throat as he wiped his eyes, “yeah. Just tired.” 

“Lance.” Shiro stepped around him so they were face to face. As soon as he realized his teammate was crying his eyes widened with concern. “Is everything okay? Are you hurt? I can call Coran to ready a pod.” 

Lance shook his head, “no I’m okay. I didn’t get hurt.” 

Shiro’s expression calmed down some, but he still held a certain persona. “I’m here if you need to talk Lance.” 

“It’s fine, I just.” Lance took a deep breath, trying to stop more tears from falling. “Something you said made me emotional.” 

Shiro frowned, “I didn’t mean to hurt you or-” 

“No, you didn’t hurt me.” 

“Okay,” Shiro’s tone was laced with confusion, he clearly didn't understand what was happening. 

“Sorry,” Lance wiped his eyes again, “no adult has ever said I did a good job before so it was weird to hear. Nice but weird.” 

Shiro frowned at him before his face shifted into a smile. “Well, you are a valuable member of our team. And our sharpshooter, I don’t know where we would be without you.” 

More tears formed in Lance’s eyes, “Jesus Shiro stop.” 

Shiro pulled him in for a hug, “you’re doing great.” 

Lance found himself reciprocating the hug, had he hugged Shiro before? Really just Hunk and Pidge. “Thank you.” 

-----

So uhhhh idk if this is good or not but I really needed some Shiro and Lance interaction 

I hope you like it!!

Thank you <3333

#don't tag as sh/nce #strictly platonic #long post #my writing #no beta #langst #lance angst #lance #lance mcclain #lance vld #lance voltron #lance voltron legendary defender #shiro #shiro vld #shiro voltron #shiro voltron legendary defender #takashi shirogane #shiro is a good leader

[shiro-00s]

heaven on earth

38. square one .. !

[ genshin impact smau / idol!xiao x fem!reader ]

heaven on earth - 38. square one

previous | masterlist | next

synopsis ; 🗝️ — in which you befriend your next door neighbour who, unbeknownst to you, was apart of a soon-to-be one of the most popular bands throughout liyue. you're unable to tell if cupid was helping you or not when things with xiao kept going up and down. will he continue to keep his secret from yours truly?

NOTE — some new things here 👊 lmk if u wanna be featured in my other chapters too! especially for my active supporters <3 id love to include u guys! the ones included were some of my recent fans and some ogs ‼️

TAGLIST#1 [OPEN] — @mikctp @ghostlysyntaxed @kazemiya @nnasv @gojoandelsalovechilde @candy-purple-cyanide @kissingkzuha @zyilas @lunaavity @luminescent-light @mave-in @rizakari @riikyu @kokoscutie @starsxnight @sketcheeee @softlie @izakyun @xiaxilia @the-sweet-madame @rifran @milkwithspiceyicecubes @coffeethoughtsandanxiety @rxkan7 @goodthingimsam @pomeiu @fogturtle @farelady-fate @tzu-scara143 @wonderful-worlds @cianalikesbeans @h3xi2g0n3 @jasxiao2317 @rosaryia

(ask to be added)

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin smau #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin x y/n #genshin fluff #genshin crack #xiao #xiao smau #xiao fluff #xiao imagine #xiao angst #xiao x reader #xiao x reader smau #xiao x you #xiao x y/n #genshin impact idol au #genshin impact modern au #heaven on earth - shiro.