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rorimoon9597 · 6 months

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Did he tell his crew to go and spend the rest of the day with their family in case they never returned? Yes. Was he going to do that? No. He didn't have anyone to spend the day with, anyway.

"Captain." He turned around to see Iverson standing there.

"Do you need something Commander?" He asked. The older man gave him a knowing look.

Sometimes he hated that some of his old teachers were part of his crew. They knew him too well.

"Get some rest before the launch, Captain. It'll do you some good."

"I'll be fine," Shiro tried.

"Would you like to try that again?" Shiro's shoulders sagged when Colleen spoke.

"You've been caught, dude," Matt commented. Shiro glared at his friend, but there wasn't any heat in the look at all. He sighed.

"Alright. I'll rest," he conceded. Colleen and Iverson nodded, the former looking rather smug about it.

He walked out of the meeting room at the same time as Keith. Lance approached them, Hunk hovering in the background and staring at Lance. He caught the Yellow Paladin's eye, and immediately understood the situation.

"I want to know the situation," he said, a sly grin on his face. Keith looked at him, then to Lance, then turned back to Shiro to glare at him.

He ignored it, walking over to Hunk and turning back to see this disaster. He couldn't hear the conversation, but he could see Lance and Keith talking, the redness on their faces.

"Look at those baby gays," he commented. Hunk snorted.

"It's about time," he said. Shiro nodded.

"I'm honestly tired of their pining, and I've been dealing with Keith whining about Lance for years."

"I've had to deal with Lance for ages, too," Hunk said. Lance turned around, a smile on his face, then went up to Hunk to drag him away. Keith walked up to Shiro. He snorted.

"You're redder than Red is. And that's saying something, because she's really red," Shiro commented. Keith glared at him. "What's going on?" He asked. He slung an arm around Keith's shoulders - the prosthetic one that Allura had made him. It was the same as his Galra one, but made of Altean tech and white.

He was just glad that it wasn't floating like Sendak's arm had. He could still do stuff like lock Keith into a headlock and not get bitten. It was a possibility with Keith.

"Lance asked me on a date," he mumbled.

"And?" Shiro prompted.

"I agreed." Shiro stopped and pulled Keith into a hug, right then and there in the middle of the hallway. People walked around them, some staring, but Shiro just... Didn't care. He was proud of Keith.

Keith hugged him back. They stood there for a bit until they pulled apart.

"So what are you two going to do?" He asked.

"He said that his mom is cooking dinner, and that she was going to make us something to eat, so we don't have to worry about that. As for the other things... He didn't say. He told me to wear something nice but casual."

"Want some help?"

"Please." Shiro grinned. He pulled Keith along, making the kid protest.

"Allura! Romelle!" He called out. Shiro knew exactly what he was doing, because while the Alteans would probably not be the best at this, they needed to get away from the base for a while. Besides, in their time as co-leaders, Allura became one of his best friends.

She was the only one besides Keith to know about Adam.

And, according to Krolia (and from what he'd seen in their travelling), Keith and Romelle were basically siblings. Shiro just knew that she'd love to help.

The girls turned around to face them. Allura smiled at them.

"Hello, Shiro. What do you need?" She asked.

"Keith has a date and he needs our help," Shiro said. He pulled Keith to be in front of him and held him there. Keith froze as Allura and Romelle's eyes went wide.

"I'd love to, but-"

"You need to get out and do something, Princess. Besides, you have a good fashion sense, and Keith... doesn't have one."

"Shiro's right about all of that," Romelle said. Keith opened his mouth to protest. "This might be just what you need, even if it's just for a small bit of time." Allura looked at the ground, brows furrowed. Then she looked up at Keith and studied him.

"Alright, I'll help. We should get a nice shirt, maybe something red? It'll look good," she said. Shiro grinned.

"What kind of date is it?" Romelle asked, going to link her arm with Keith's. Allura linked her arm with Keith's other arm, and Shiro walked next to Allura.

"All he told me was that his mom is going to make us something to eat and to wear something that's nice but causal," Keith said.

"We can work with that," Allura said.

"Don't do anything too over-the-top," Keith said, a scowl on his face.

"Don't worry, otouto, I won't let them get too excited," Shiro assured. Keith's scowl went away slightly at the word. His eyes widened, and Keith looked at him. Shiro smiled at him.

"Do you have anything you want to wear?" Romelle asked, pulling Keith's attention to her.

"Uh... No. That's... the entire reason why Shiro got your attention," he replied. Romelle nodded.

"Alright, then. Let's go and see what we can do with you." Shiro snorted again. Keith shot him a look. Shiro gave him a shit-eating grin.

They separated to get changed into something more casual, then reconvened at the entrance of the Garrison. Shiro tossed the keys up into the air and caught them.

"Right, are we ready to go?" He asked.

"Yes!" The girls replied eagerly. Keith huffed, his arms crossed.

"I guess," he said. Shiro nodded.

"Let's go then," he said. He led them to the car. Keith got the front passenger seat, leaving the girls in the back seat. Shiro guessed that it worked well for them, because they could talk a lot easier.

The drive to the mall was filled with chatter, soft music from the radio, and a bit of laughter. Shiro parked the car with ease, and they got out and headed inside.

He led them to the first store. Knowing Keith, he'd want to go to one, but knowing the girls, they'd want to do what they could to make Keith look his absolute best.

'I wish you were here,' he thought sadly. He didn't let it show, though. He wouldn't let it show.

The first store didn't have anything that they liked, or that Keith was particularly interested in, so they moved on to the next one. It was the same there, and at the next one. Keith was uncomfortable, that much was clear.

"Hey, loosen up a little," he said. Keith glared at him, and in response, Shiro smiled. "This is just like old times."

"Sure," Keith replied. Shiro knew what he was thinking. Honestly, he was thinking it too.

It's not the same without him.

"Alright, one last one, okay?" Shiro said.

"I do hope that we can find something, or else we might need to borrow something for you to wear," Allura said.

"I agree with that. I doubt that Shiro has anything that can fit you," Romelle agreed. She poked Keith's arm, making him scowl.

"There are others I can borrow things from," he grumbled.

"But we need something that works for you, Keith. Something that'll make Lance stop and appreciate your natural beauty," Shiro said.

"Not that there's much in the first place," Romelle muttered. Shiro nearly died laughing, which gained a bunch of strange looks from aliens and humans alike.

"You're so right, imoto," he agreed when he calmed down somewhat.

"What does that mean?" Romelle asked.

"Don't worry, it's not anything bad, right, otouto?" Keith was staring at Shiro as if he'd grown an extra head. Which, considering all things, would probably not be the weirdest thing ever.

They went into the last shop, and immediately, Shiro went to the shirts. He pulled one off of the rack and held it up to Keith. The girls joined him, all three of them studying him.

"What? Is something wrong?"

"That's the perfect shirt," Allura said. It was. The shirt was a sark red, one that didn't take from Keith's complexion and it was just perfect for him. Shiro made sure that it was in Keith's size before thrusting it at him.

"Hold that," he ordered. Keith looked down at the shirt.

"Huh... you're right. It is the perfect shirt," he commented.

"Don't doubt us," Shiro said. They moved onto the pants. It was Allura who found something this time.

"Why do these have holes in the legs?" She asked. Shiro looked up to see her holding up a pair of ripped skinny jeans.

"Oh! It's a Human fashion thing. A lot of people like the look of it," Shiro replied. He knew that. He was one of those people.

He probably couldn't pull them off as well as he used to. The thought was only slightly sad.

"Oh! Do you think that these will work with the shirt?" She asked. Keith looked at the jeans, before going through and finding his size. Once he had them, he added them to the small pile in his arms.

"Can we get converse?" Keith asked. Shiro stared at his brother.

"Converse?" He asked. Keith had the decency to look embarrased.

"I've always wanted converse, okay?" He said. That was all he needed to say before Shiro's instincts kicked in and he dragged his younger brother figure over to the shoes to find a pair of converse. His eyes landed on a pair, and he smiled.

"Here, to balance out the shirt," Shiro said. Keith blinked.

"Do you just- have my size memorized?" He asked.

"You didn't ask for a lot when you were younger, so I had to do a lot of guesswork when it came to you and your growth spurts," Shiro reminded. Keith nodded, but Shiro could see a small smile on his face.

"Go try everything on!" Romelle said. She herded Keith to the changing room.

"I'm such a proud nii-san," Shiro said when Keith entered.

"What do those words mean?" Allura asked. Shiro smiled.

"I'm Japanese, which is a group of people on Earth. My full name is Takashi Shirogane, which is a mouthful, so I just go by Shiro to make it easier, and also it's part of my culture to call someone by their last name," he said.

"So those words are from your language?" Romelle asked. Shiro nodded.

"Yup," he replied, popping the p.

"And they mean..?" Allura promted.

"Otouto means 'little brother'. Nii-san is older brother, and imoto is little sister," Shiro replied. Romelle hugged him. He returned it.

"Uh..." Keith had emerged from the changing room, wearing the full outfit.

"Beautiful!" Romelle declared.

"It's good but..." Shiro studied his little brother.

"But what?" He asked, clearly confused.

Keith hadn't pushed the sleeves up, which he knew his little brother preferred to do unless it was that jacket he's worn pretty much all the time. Even now, Shiro could remember how Keith would prefer to walk around in a t-shirt, even if it was freezing. That, and the shirt was completely tucked in, and the buttons...

Shiro sighed and stepped forward. He untucked part of the shirt, then rolled up the sleeves and unbuttoned the first two buttons. He stepped back and nodded.

"Oh, I see now. That's much better," Allura commented.

"I know," Shiro said. Keith looked at himself in the mirror.

"You're right," he agreed.

"Of course I am. I'm basically your brother, after all. And I'll tell you know, Lance will prefer for you to look less like a well put together person and more like a hobo."

"I don't look like a hobo!" Keith whined.

"I beg to differ," Shiro said. There was a smile on his face regardless. Keith smiled.

"Alright. I... I like it."

"Get back into your normal clothes and we'll go buy these."

"Can we go home after?" Keith asked.

"Yeah, we can," Shiro agreed. Keith nodded, and went back into the changing room. When he next stepped out, he was wearing his normal clothes, the things he'd been trying on in his arms.

They bought the things, and they left for the Garrison. Keith hung out with him for a bit until Shiro ushered him to go get changed. Keith obeyed him, showering and changing. When he came out, Shiro helped him tie his hair up (they had to get Pidge to help, in the end. She cackled at them for a while) and sent Keith off to his date. Kosmo went with him, leaving Shiro all alone in the apartment.

The apartment, that he had shared with Adam.

Without Keith or Kosmo there to distract him, he began to spiral. Sam had made sure that the place stayed the same when Adam died, insisting that it be kept how it was for Shiro and Keith to go back to.

While he was glad, he also wouldn't have argued for it back if Sam hadn't done that.

Memories swirled around his mind. Good ones and bad ones. Memories of tickling Keith, or wrangling him into doing his homework. Of Adam watching and laughing, or helping Keith with the things that he struggled with. Of all the times they'd both comforted Keith when he needed it, and all of the times Adam and Shiro had cried together when it seemed hopeless.

He also remembered how he'd been sitting on that very same couch years prior, breaking down when Adam said that they were over.

Shiro fled from the lounge and went into the bedroom. It had been tidy when he arrived, as if someone had gone in and cleaned up the place before his arrival. He would have preferred that they didn't, in all honesty. It had made him feel so empty when he got back to see that Adam was dead, and that the room they'd once shared was clean, as if all evidence of Adam had been erased.

It also meant that he didn't have Adam's scent.

That would be so depressing to someone else, wanting to have your dead ex-fiancé's scent on things. Shiro just wanted to have Adam with him, and his scent would have helped him fool himself into thinking that it was just another day, that there was never a war, and he was never sick, and that Kerberos had never happened, that Adam was just in the bathroom, or out on an errand.

He didn't have that though. What he did have was a half-packed bag, and so many things strewn around the room.

He sat on the foot of the bed and looked around. Nothing was tidy anymore. The desk was filled with things that came with being the captain of the Atlas, and the bed was messy and unmade from all of the times Shiro had woken up from a nightmare or was unable to sleep.

He had wanted Adam in those moments. He never got him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered for the millionth time. He didn't think that he could cry. He didn't have energy to do anything.

He decided that, despite not having any energy, he'd still pack.

He grabbed spare clothing and his toiletries, putting them into the suitcase. He may have grabbed a few of Adam's favourite things that would be able to survive the trip; his favourite hoodie, his favourite cologne that was still there. That was about it, though. Shiro got up and searched through the house, trying to find something.

He found a picture. There were a lot of pictures around the house, but this... This had always been his favourite one.

Shiro and Adam had gotten Keith a passport, and they were able to take him to another country for a couple of weeks. They decided to take him to Japan, which Keith had taken an interest in the most out of their combined cultures. It was spring, so the sakura were beginning to blossom. Shiro took Keith and Adam to the festival at night, all of them wearing traditional Japanese clothing.

This particular picture captured that night. The pink sakura were in full bloom behind Adam and Keith, lit up by lanterns. Keith was grinning, holding a dango in one hand. Adam was standing next to him, smiling at the camera. Both of his hands were on Keith's shoulders, a golden ring glinting on one of his fingers.

Right. That was not too long after Shiro had proposed. Keith had insisted on getting the dango after the proposal to celebrate, and that's why it was there.

Adam looked so young and so, so happy. Shiro picked up the picture gingerly and touched his fingers to Adam's image, smiling and forever happy. He remembered feeling so, unimaginably happy when he took the picture, knowing that one day he'd be married to Adam, with his pseudo-brother with them.

"How did we get to this point, love?" He whispered. The question was a stupid one. He knew how they got to this point.

He walked back to the bedroom, looking at the picture. He placed it into his suitcase, wrapping it up in his clothes to keep it safe. He zipped up his suitcase and sat back on his chins, sitting the way that he'd been raised to sit by his grandparents.

He heard a knock on the front door. He got up to investigate, and opened it to see Krolia standing there. She was holding something in her hands.

"Krolia," he said, surprised.

"Hello, Shiro. May I come in?" She said.

"Uh- sure," he replied. He let her in, and watched with appreciation as she took off her shoes in the entry way, lining them up against the wall with the other shoes.

Adam's runners were there still.

"I brought some food," Krolia said.

"Oh! That's... That's actually really nice of you, thanks," he said. He led her to the kitchen, where he pulled out plates. They served themselves, and sat at the kitchen counter on the barstools, eating in comfortable silence.

They'd bonded over their shared care for Keith, and Shiro had been able to give Krolia plenty of stories of Keith's misadventures. Now, they'd become friends. It was nice, to be able to talk to someone else who cared about Keith as much as he did again. Though Krolia's care for Keith was deeper than Shiro's was, but she was his mother, and Shiro was the older brother.

"Lance came to me earlier," Krolia said. There was amusement in her voice.

"Was it about his date with Keith?" Shiro asked.

"It was," she said. Shiro laughed.

"I saw that. Man, they were both so hopeless for so long, and it only got worse when we were stuck in space. I swear, I thought I would have to stage an intervention at some point with how hopeless they were," Shiro mused, laughing slightly at the memory.

"I had to witness two years of that in the quantum abyss," Krolia said.

"Any amount of time with one of them talking about the other would make you want to shake them and tell them to just confess already." Krolia laughed at that. "What did Lance want, anyway?"

"He wanted my blessing to date Keith," she replied.

"And you said?"

"Yes, obviously. I don't know it Keith has shared this with you, but while we were in the quantum abyss, we saw flashes of the future. I saw Keith and Lance with two children, Keith and Lance dancing on the beach together, and I saw so much of Keith being so happy with Lance. I couldn't say no to him after seeing all of that." Shiro hummed.

"I've seen how Keith and Lance have grown from getting on each others nerves constantly to what they are now. It's so amazing to see how they grew in the time I was away. They're really close now, and I'm glad that they are. Keith needs someone to be a near constant in his life. For a while, I've been that, but he's getting older, and I disappeared on him twice. Lance wouldn't dream of disappearing on Keith like that."

"I agree. Lance is a wonderful boy. I told him that, you know. I told him that I wouldn't want anyone else to date Keith, and that he already had my blessing," Krolia said.

"That's good. I just hope that they don't make the same mistake that I did."

"And what was that if I may ask?" Shiro sighed and put his fork down.

"I had a boyfriend, when I met Keith. I still remember when I came home and told Adam that I wanted to foster this child that was angry at the world and needed someone on his side, to give him direction. He said that he needed to think about it, but barely half an hour later he was agreeing to it.

We ended up taking Keith in together, and we managed to get him a passport. When we did, we planned a holiday to Japan, which is where I'm from. Keith had taken a huge interest in my culture, so we took him there to look at the sakura and to give him a good memory, you know? I ended up proposing to Adam then, and we were happy. We were a family, but then Kerberos came up. Adam... he didn't want me to go, but I did anyway, and he broke off the engagement, and I disappeared for what, five years? And now he's dead." He was crying. Shiro was aware of that.

Krolia didn't say anything, just placed her hand on his back and rubbing circles. Shiro remembered how Keith said that his dad had died in a fire, and realised that, with the whole seeing the past and future thing, Krolia had probably found out that her child's father had been dead for a few good years.

"I miss him so much that it hurts. Physically and mentally, it hurts. I've lost a piece of me, and I don't know if it will ever be found again, or mended."

"I'm sorry for your loss, Shiro," Krolia said. He knew that she meant it. The man she had loved was dead, and all she had from that relationship was her estranged son.

All Shiro had was a ring on a chain, pictures, and memories.

They spent the next while in silence. When Krolia left, she pulled Shiro into a hug. He returned it, thankful to have some sort of comfort from someone who knew his pain, who knew how it felt to leave Earth and the one they loved to end up fighting in a war, only for that person to end up dead.

He didn't keep her for long, and before he knew it, he was alone again. He sighed and sat on the couch. Faintly, he registered that it was the same one that he'd been sitting on after he came home after Iverson and Sanda tried to convince Sam to chose another pilot for the Kerberos mission.

He stood up and walked, not really thinking. His feet moved on autopilot, he said things without registering them. When he came out of his daze, he was standing in front of Adam's name plate on the memorial wall.

"Hey, love," he whispered. He didn't know it he would be able to speak any louder than that. "I know that you never wanted me to go on that mission, but I... I wouldn't change it. I would only change the fact that we broke up because of it. And if I had it my way, you would be a crew member of the Atlas and coming with me. I promise that I'll stop going into space after we win. I promise." He was silent for a while, just staring at the name plate.

Something small and warm hugged him. A hand came to rest on his shoulder.

"He was fun," Pidge murmured. Shiro nodded slowly.

"He was," Shiro agreed.

"We'll make sure that his sacrifice was never in vain," Matt assured.

"I know. I just... I don't know if I'll ever be able to move on," Shiro admitted. Pidge's arms tightened around him.

"Time will tell," Matt reminded him.

And that was why Matt ended up becoming his and Adam's friend. He knew what to say in this moment, and Shiro couldn't ask for a better friend.

He was joined by the rest of the Holts, standing there and remembering Adam as they knew him. A student, a friend, a teacher, and, for Shiro, his sunlight.

"We should go now," Sam said gently.

"I'll come soon," Shiro promised. The Holts left him, talking in low voices. He closed his eyes for a couple moments and opened them. "Aishite, Adam. I will come back, and I will never, ever leave Earth again, just like you wanted." He left the memorial wall behind.

He'd keep that promise. He'd make sure of that.

#voltron #vld #keith kogane #lance mcclain #princess allura #pidge holt #hunk garrett #coran #takashi shirogane #shiro angst #should i edit things?#yeah i probably should #do i edit things?#nope

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