#she want me to tell her stuff promises she can support me but it's simply a lie | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

flynnriderishot · 2 months

Note

i needddd cute pt 2

cute pt.2 - m.s

a/n: i’ve been feeling really bad that i missed the original persons request by a mile 😭 so i’m gonna add that into this part lol

warnings: i couldn’t really figure out how to word it but i PROMISE matt wasn’t being creepy about following her to the bathroom‼️ he just really wanted to meet her. we don’t do that weird shit over here 🙄

also, vinnie hacker mention 🗣️ unfortunately, he has nothing to do with the story, i just needed someone to add💀

you were invited to a party that a friend of a friend was throwing.

did you know who this person was? vaguely.

in your eyes, it didn’t really matter.

what mattered was that matt sturniolo and his brothers would also be attending this party.

while you didn’t really have to go, you were a good friend and rightfully needed some time away from your social media life.

what better way to do that than to surround yourself with social media influencers? cue the sarcasm.

what made this all the more annoying to you was that it was a ‘valentines day’ party.

as if you weren’t all over the age of eighteen. you wanted to roll your eyes at the thought.

sure, the thought was cute and the idea was definitely there. but as you walked into the house, y/f/n’s hand in your own, you couldn’t help but scrunch up your face at the excessive amount of pink and red that flooded your vision.

“i guess we missed the memo?”

“no, i saved us the embarrassment of looking like we were back in third grade.” y/fn laughed out a scoff.

“i should definitely pay you more.”

while she was your friend, she also helped quite a lot with managing your channel. with reminding you of what your supporters wanted to see, to recording you anytime you needed content.

and though before she would say it was out of the kindness of her heart, you felt bad that she did so much for free. and once you started getting popular, you made quick work to pay her for all the stuff she did in the past and now she practically worked for you.

it was a win win situation. you got a best friend and a coworker all in one. it was much better than your previous partner that expected so much more for doing not nearly as much as y/f/n did.

“i definitely wouldn’t complain.”

you shared a laugh, moving your way through the crowed and to the drink table.

“i haven’t been to a party in a while, what are the odds we see a fight break out?”

a voice behind you interrupted before she could respond, “that would make this place so much more entertaining.”

your eyes widen as you froze up, trying to pinpoint where you may have heard the voice before turning around to actually see who it was.

“hi.” nick smiled at you.

“oh my god. hi.” you pulled him into a hug, pulling away to see him do the same to y/f/n, introducing himself to her as they hadn’t known one another very well.

“it’s so nice to finally meet you.”

“you’re telling me.” you stepped aside so he could lean against the wall with you two, “i’ve been wanting to say thank you in person since you’ve sent me that lip balm.”

“i can vouch.” y/f/n spoke up, “after your live together, she wouldn’t shut up about it.”

nick smiled, “i appreciate it, and i’m glad you like it. ive been wanting to meet you too, you’re like one of my favorite youtubers ever.”

“my god, shut up.” you roll your eyes, nick coping the motion.

“speaking of the live…”

“goodness.”

nick didn’t stop, “what’s this crush you have on my brother?”

“no crush, just…admiring his beauty.” you brushed off the teasing look they gave you.

“it’s definitely a crush. you can’t admire matt’s beauty without thinking nick and chris are attractive as well. they’re triplets.” y/f/n stated matter of factly.

“right.” nick agreed, “we literally have the same face.”

“nick and chris are gorgeous.”

“oh, thank you.”

you look back to see chris walking towards you guys, smile on his face. with just a simply glance to the side, you could see matt following closely behind his brother, eyes darting around him.

“oh.” your eyes widen, chris’ snort echoing in your ears as you pass your soda off to him, “i need to go to the bathroom.”

“no, you don’t.” nick laughed.

“i’ll be back!” you shouted, secretly having no intentions of returning until it was clear that matt wouldn’t be around.

“she’s nervous to meet you.” you could hear y/f/n telling matt after the middle triplet asked what was wrong.

if he was absolutely beautiful through your screen, you couldn’t imagine what he’d look like in person.

you barely managed to stop your face from warming up when you saw him in one of their podcasts episodes, how would you react if you got the chance to see him in person? last thing you wanted to do was embarrass yourself.

“hi, yn.” a voice called out, leading you to look over and smile,

“hi, vinnie.”

“you okay?” the hacker frowned at your unusually tense nature.

“i’m fine, i need the bathroom!” you called out, unaware of the blue eyes that were following your figure, also hearing your statement and making it his goal to get there before you.

“you’re going the wrong way.” vinnie laughed, pointing in the opposite direction of which you were walking.

“right, i knew that!” yoh waved off his drunken cackle, managing to make it down the hall and to the bathroom within a minute. you hoped you were lucky enough to walk in a not see some random couple doing it on the counter top.

as you opened the door, letting a sigh of relief and a short, “jesus”, you were startled when a voice spoke to you,

“take it as a compliment, you’re a lot cuter in person.”

opening your eyes in a panic, you spotted matt, arms crossed over his chest as he stood in front of the mirror.

“oh, my god.”

taglist: @hearts4chris @timmyandsturniolo @mayhem-72 @luvsturns @knowingnothingnoel @mrsmattyb

tags for this fic: @3kslav @bb-1s-blog @annamcdonalds67 @sturns333 @dracoflaco @electrobutterfly @wolfstarfate @landrysflannel @3mm4yung @strnsblog @lexxxiii-iix @patscorner @lemon-criminal

#sturniolo triplets #nick sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo fluff #matt sturniolo

407 notes · View notes

lesbesapphic · 6 months

Text

Lavender Haze

A Roommate WandaNat x Reader au

Summary- You were in your freshmen year when Wanda and Natasha took an interest in you. Now in your junior year, you are their roommate but things aren't as simple as they seem.

Behind closed door, you become their plaything. Sometimes it works in your favor and sometimes it doesn't. Only time can tell if you will survive this toxic arrangement or not?

Warning - choking, humiliation, slapping, reader in trouble, wandanat are toxic as hell, they love reader in their own way but not much, dom/sub undertone etc

Please don't flag my post. I have added ratings!

A/N-- Hello Everyone!

I hope you all are doing great! I am really excited for you all to read this and hopefully you all will love it as much as I loved writing it.

Feel free to send me ideas and your thoughts about this!

Buy Me A Coffee || Ko-fi (Thank you for supporting me <3)

-----

You were sleeping peacefully in your bed, one leg draped over the big panda stuff toy you got yourself last summer. Wanda and Natasha had mocked you for it but you didn't care, the purpose of the toy was very clear, being squeezed to death. Every night when you had it in a suffocating grip or one leg draped over it as you drift to sleep, you would mentally flip a bird off to the couple with whom you shared this three bedroom duplex apartment.

"What the.." You panicked when you were lifted off from the bed and in the air, flaying your arms, you tried to find the ground, your toes brushing against it slightly. Before you could make much out of it, you were dragged outside and toward the kitchen, you knew it was Natasha and the glimpse of her red hair confirmed it. She had quite a habit of manhandling her way around you. They both do but Natasha was more efficient at it.

Your sleepy eyes caught the other half of the couple sitting on the kitchen stool, her fingers tapping against the screen of her phone. Natasha dropped you on the floor, not too gently. "Ow.. fuck yo-" Before you could even finish the sentence, the back of Wanda's hand collided with your cheek. Instantly tears welled up in your eyes, the sleep long gone.

"2." Wanda simply reminded you of the number of chances you have left before you get in serious trouble and you ignored the uneasy feeling that creeped up your stomach at the thought. Her weird rules about unnecessary swearing somehow only seemed to apply on you but not her own girlfriend who had a mouth of a sailor when she would be in her zone. Sometimes you wondered was it because of her frustration of not getting her way around Natasha that made her double down on you.

You ignored the strawberry blonde in front of you and took in the smell of cocoa in the kitchen, "What is it? Ooh pancakes- Ouch, Natty Please." You whimpered in pain when fingers tangled in your hair, tugging on the roots, you hand instantly wrapped around Natasha's trying to ease the tugging but your strength was nothing compared to hers.

"I came to make breakfast for your ungrateful little ass and look what I found!" Natasha turned your head toward the sink and you whimpered more at the sight of the dishes from last night than at the burning in your scalp. Natasha had told you to do the dishes and you had snapped at her, promising to do it later but you never got the time as Wanda had grabbed you to watch a movie, falling asleep there in her arm as she would massage your scalp. You wanted to blame Wanda but knowing that it would not only earn you a good smacking from Natasha but Wanda too.

"I am sorry. I will do it now." You pleaded hoping she would let go off your hair now but the woman hardly paid a heed to her grip, instead decided to reward you with a condescending look as she stared you down, "You lack too much of the cognitive ability to remember a simple task, Darling. I hardly doubt you have the motor coordination to perform it." Natasha mocked and Wanda snickered from behind you. You ignored the way your eyes started to tear up, hoping to hold it back before they could prey on it as well.

Natasha noticed the tears in your eyes and feigned a warm smile, slowly leaning in toward your ear, "For now, I will handle it and later you will pay me back by doing the only one thing you are good at." She pulled back and watched the look of embarrassment tinted with desire on your face, just as she expected. "A pretty little slut." Wanda chirped in and your face went a shade darker, you avoided Natasha's gaze when she chuckled at the remark made by her girlfriend.

"Go wash up and come eat breakfast." Natasha patted your cheek, gently urging you to listen and you nodded quickly, anything to get you away from the duo. You went to dash out of the kitchen but before you could make even three proper steps, a hand grabbed the collar of the hoodie you were wearing, pulling you almost over the counter, you almost choked on your own saliva, "Forgetting something?" Wanda asked, one of her sculpted eyebrows raised in question and you felt timid under her strong gaze before leaning in and placing a kiss on her cheek, earning a pleased smile from her that left you giddy. "Good. Now shoo." Wanda let go and you made your way out to the washroom.

You would always greet Wanda with a kiss on her cheek in the morning, it was sort of a part of your routine now and as well as Wanda's and God forbid if someone messes with her routine. It was a moment of affection that was not frowned upon by neither her girlfriend nor her. Never allowed to touch those lips though, you weren't complaining either. You were fine with how things were between the three of you.

You were in your first year when you met them in the orientation programme. They were your seniors and after hanging out a few times, they offered to share their place with you when they learned that you were looking for a place to rent. Except they refused to take the rent as the place was owned by Natasha. Every month, it would take a whole lot of begging just to get them to take your share of the rent. It was a nice place. You had your own room. Your own space that they rarely invaded. You didn't exactly recall when you became a part of their arrangement, but it happened after a few months of you moving in with them.

+------------+

You walked back into the kitchen, Natasha was working on her laptop in front of Wanda, while she talked to her about some upcoming event in her department. For a moment you stayed in the doorway, not sure if Natasha was still annoyed at you. Wanda patted the stool next to her when she noticed your presence and you instantly made your way over there, your eyes fixated on the plate of pancakes in front of you.

You let out a groan, the first bite melting in your mouth and you couldn't help but do your little dance at the sight of the three more pancake stacked in your plate, you couldn't wait to devour them all. From the corner of your eye, you could see Wanda looking at you but your focus remained on the cakes, "This is really good." You told Natasha, never failing to complement her cooking and she gave you a soft smile before replying to Wanda's question. They were talking about the upcoming fests in the college, being part of various clubs they had been pretty busy. You didn't care much about it and focused on your breakfast.

You were putting some orange juice in your glass while taking a bite of the pancake but the jug bumped into the glass, not expecting the jug to be heavy and you watched as the glass started wobbling a little before falling in your lap. "Oh shoot." You panicked at the dark spot forming on the white hoodie, your eyes widen in fear when you realised that it belonged to none other than Natasha. Wanda instantly took the jug from your hand before you could make any more of a mess. "Y/N!" Wanda grabbed some tissues trying to soak up the spilled juice and you stood there in fear and it was proven right when Natasha's hand grabbed you by your ear harshly, "Didn't I tell you that you can't eat in my clothes?" Natasha asked, her eyes flaring with aggrevation and you winced closing your eyes both at the pain and as well as her expression.

"I-I would have worn something else but you woke me-"

"Oh so now it is my fault?" She twisted your ear a little more while simultaneously pulling you up along and you stood on your tippy toes to avoid the pain. "Answer her, silly." Wanda's words broke the silence as she threw the dirty tissues on the slab. "I should have made her clean it with her tongue." Natasha twisted your ear one last time before letting go of it with a push.

Your hand instantly shot up to rub the pain away with tears once again welling up in your eyes, the morning kept getting worse for you,"That would have definitely work with her." Wanda agreed as she swatted her hand away from your ear, giving you a pointed look which turned into a sadistic one as she took notice of the teary eyed look on your face. Things would take such fast turns whenever you were with them. One moment it would be peaceful and the next they would be pouncing on you about something.

"Off." Natasha gave out her command and you slowly fiddled with the hem of the hoodie, knowing very well that she would not even allow you the privilege of going to your room and changing. "Now." Wanda reinforced her order and your hands pushed the soft yet wet material off yourself, instantly goosebumps raising on your skin.

Natasha took the material from your hand, "You are not allowed to wear anything till Monday. You can stay like this only." She told you sternly and you opened your mouth to protest, "But I am sorry Natty, I really didn't mean to. I change out of it before breakfast everyday!" You whined at her declaration and gulped when the two of them raised one of their eyebrows at the same time.

They both sometimes subconsciously seem to mimic each other's action and you wanted anything but have the attention of the duo in a negative sense like that, any other day you would love to have them dotting on you.

"Don't you think your mouth is running a little too much today?" Wanda asked harshly, her hand grabbing your cheeks in a vice grip and you struggled to get out of her reach. "I-I am sorry!" You pleaded through your teary eyes and Wanda let go of your cheeks and moved onto your neck, "Apologise to her." She turned your head towards Natasha and you felt your cheeks reddened at the way you were getting treated. You didn't dare to complain about it, knowing that your ass was on line.

"I am sorry, Natasha..Please forgive me." You apologised hoping she would change her mind. She couldn't be serious about something like that but then again it wasn't the first time she had come up with something outrageous to punish you.

Natasha hummed in acknowledgement, you could tell she was still upset as she sighed, "Not until Monday. I don't want any whining from you. You don't deserve this privilege until you learn some etiquettes." She further added and you nodded quietly watching as she left the room to wash the clothing, leaving you alone with her strawberry blonde counterpart.

"It's you own fault." Wanda drawled after observing you from her position on the stool for a while and you wanted to snap at her and let her know that you already know but decided otherwise knowing she would jump at the opportunity to punish you some more.

"I know." You muttered successfully holding back the sass from your statement and Wanda stared at you for a few second, trying to figure out if you were being sassy or genuine. Her eyes ran down your body, deciding whether you were worthy enough for attention or not.

"You will catch a cold if you keep wearing this." Wanda's finger hooked onto the strap of your bra pulling it a little before letting it snap on your shoulder, making you wince at the sharp sting causing a satisfactory smile on her lips.

"It's not wet." You pushed her hand away a little harsher than necessary and Wanda instantly took notice of the fact. "Huh." She let out a scoff, probably at your audacity and you watched in shock as she picked up the almost empty glass of your orange juice and tipped it down on your chest. "What the..Wanda.." You tried pulling away but her other hand held in your place, halting your movement, all you could do was squirm at the feeling of the liquid dripping down your chest, your nipples hardening by the cold temperature of the liquid.

"Is it wet enough for you?" She asked over her shoulder as she turn to place the glass away, not wanting to risk another damage perhaps. "Off." The familiar order hit you again and you took a sharp inhale, feeling a wave of arousal mixed with fear hitting your senses at her tone.

You got a moment to yourself when Natasha came back in the kitchen, her eyes falling to your wet chest a little confused but one glance at Wanda whose eyes were clouded with lust, her own expression turned into a familiar one. "Do we need to repeat everything today?" Wanda asked, using her sharp nails to turn your face toward her. "You are really getting on my nerves, Detka."

When you realised that your pleading would only fall to deaf ears, you reached back with your hands to slowly unclasp your bra, your bare chest presented to their hungry gaze. "Much better.. isn't?" Wanda asked and you looked up at her, the feeling of humiliation turning your your cheeks a bright shade of red.

"It is." Natasha answered while, her gaze fixated on your bare chest. You reached forward to cover your body but she grabbed your hands and pulled you closer, your upper half colliding with her covered body but you made sure to not stay touching with her not wanting to ruin any more of her clothes and face her wrath, although a part of you wanted to move closer to the warmth of her body.

You started into Natasha's eyes when you suddenly felt Wanda behind you, effectively trapping you between the duo. You felt much smaller next to them especially when you had literally no clothes on compared to them. "Let me go." You whispered softly but Natasha chose to ignore it as she leaned forward a bit, "Do you really want that?" She asked, her finger lightly tracing down your cheek to jaw which you immediately clenched when Wanda's hand cupped your breast, softly squeezing the flesh.

When Natasha started leaning in more, you closed your eyes thinking she was going to kiss you but it never occurred as she kissed Wanda whose head was next to you and you didn't understand the unfamiliar emotion that hit you. Of course she wasn't going to kiss you. They have never kissed you. Before you could ponder more on the thought, it vanished the moment Wanda pinched your nipple and you let out a whimper which was covered by Wanda's moan to Natasha's kiss.

Natasha's hand grabbed you by your hip to turn you around while she continued kissing Wanda, the sight had you mesmerized to even care about how they were again manhandling their way around you. Now you were looking up at Wanda who had her eyes closed as Natasha devoured her lips. You shuddered at the chill going up your spine. Natasha's hand started playing with your chest. "N-Nat.." You moaned softly only for it to become a whimper when she squeezed your hardened nub.

"Shh." Wanda pushed her finger on your lips, quietening you as Natasha moved to her neck. It made you feel small. Insignificant in their whole dynamic but once again you hardly had time to process the emotion as Natasha pushed Wanda back on the stool to sit. Her whole neck was covered with bite marks. Some of them were freshly made by Natasha while others were fading away, You have never seen Wanda without them. Natasha had always been on the rougher side between the two of them. More territorial.

It reminded you of the time when you had accidentally in your lust bitten Wanda too hard, creating a similar mark which Natasha hadn't appreciated at all. All week Natasha had been so rough with you, Wanda had also notice that and took special care of you that week. It was perhaps the first time you had witnessed the softer side of Wanda, maybe that was the reason you had more of an inclination toward her than Natasha.

"Gorgeous.. isn't she?" Natasha whispered in your ear, one of her hand placed on your neck, her fingers holding your head in place to look at Wanda. Her other arm was wrapped around your waist, completely trapping you against her warm body.

You slowly nodded your head as much as her hold allowed it. Wanda's cheeks were flushed, she was staring into Natasha's eyes and you felt as if you were a mere spectator of the show rather than a part. "Why don't we put that tongue to a better use? Huh?" Natasha asked or more like stated and before you could even make up your mind, she pushed you down on your knees in front of Wanda, putting your hand on Wanda's shorts before moving her hands to her body.

You looked up at Wanda for permission and she raised her hips, letting you slide the material down her smooth thighs, you abandoned the clothing and ran your hand up her calves to her thigh that convulsed under the touch. Wanda instantly moved her hand into your hair, her grip tight, tugging on your roots. You started at her for a moment and the realisation of how stunning she was hit you again. She was an epitome of elegance despite of being in such provacating position, she still held the gracefulness of a Queen.

"Play nicely." Natasha whispered to her and her grip eased at little and you were glad for it, no way you could please her with her tight hold on you. She placed her foot on your shoulder and your eyes met her, you knew what she wanted and never the one to deny her , you started placing kisses up her calf muscles, slowly sucking the skin while making sure to not leave a single mark for Natasha to find out later, you moved upward, worshipping every inch of her just as she desired.

You finally came close to her wet center, the sight had you dripping in your own panties. You slowly started placing kisses on her inner thigh and around her pussy but never where she needed you the most. Wanda's nail dug into your scalp and you winced at the pain, you could feel Natasha's leg on your back as she went closer to Wanda effectively muffling her whine with her lips. You would have teased her a bit more but Natasha's hand forced your head in and the last thing you wanted was to piss her off some more.

You parted Wanda's thighs a bit more and licked your way up her folds and was rewarded with more of juice that gushed out of her, groaning in pleasure when you heard her let out a muffled moan of your name, you placed your lips on the bundle of nerves where she needed you and started toying with it. Your teeth lightly grazing it before sucking. Her thighs started convulsing and you moved two of your fingers to her entrance, slowly sliding them in, the wetness allowing you in with ease. You started moving you fingers while your tongue moved around clit, sucking and nibbling here and there just how you learned it from her girlfriend.

It wasn't long until Wanda had your head crushed between her thighs as you pushed her over the edge, while she used your face to ride out her orgasm pulling Natasha in for another kiss, wrapping her arms around the redhead's neck, she hardly cared about the pain when she bit her lip, it only seemed to enhance her high. "N-Natasha.." She gasped for air when her girlfriend pulled away.

You could finally breathe when Wanda let go of you, your cheeks and mouth was covered in her juices and you licked your lip, slowly tasting her, it made you thirsty for more before you could lean in again to satisfy your thirst, Natasha's hand curled around your hair pulling you back up on your feet. "Let me have a taste as well." You assumed that she would be going down on Wanda again but what she did was unexpected for you as well as Wanda who was staring at you.

Natasha pulled you up to her lips with her hand that was still in your hair and you instantly got on your toes to ease the pain, her tongue licking her way from your jaw to your mouth before finally placing her lips on yours. Your eyes widen and you let out a small gasp that was enough for Natasha to slide her tongue in, you hardly knew what was happening before she pulled away with a satisfied smirk playing on her lips.

"So heavenly." She turned to look at Wanda whose face was still flushed but held an emotion you couldn't separate from the lust on her face. "Why don't we take it back upstairs?" Wanda asked, her breathing and her both in control now. She glanced over at you, a predatory smile falling on her luscious lips at your still surprised look, clouded with arousal.

"I thought you wouldn't ask after the number she did on you." Natasha stared into your eyes while her hand that held your neck moved to your jaw, her thumb tracing your lips that were swollen from her biting before sliding it in your mouth. You wrapped your lips around it, your tongue playing around her thumb as she pushed it deeper. You allowed her. Anything to get back on her good list.

"Why don't you care more about what I am going to do with you than what she has done on me?" Wanda asked in a sultry tone as she gracefully got off the stool and out of her shorts, her tshirt coming down to her mid thighs covering her up. Natasha's thumb stopped pushing in and she let out a raspy laugh, turning slightly to look at Wanda.

"Oh really?"

"Really." Wanda traced her fingers up Natasha's arm. "We can just throw a vibe in her and see how long she can last.. while we talk 'business'?" Wanda suggested and you whimpered around the thumb in your mouth at the thought. Business. That was what they used to tell you when they would spend the whole day in their bedroom. That was before, when you weren't a part of their little game.

"Sounds perfect. Doesn't it Y/N/N?" They both chuckled when you shook your head at Natasha's question to you as if your opinion mattered to them. As if it has ever mattered to them. "How cute." Wanda removed Natasha's hand from your mouth and she slowly traced her fingers down your hair, pushing them forward, the hair strands touched your sensitive nipples.

"Do you think I have forgotten about the little tease you were being earlier?" She asked while a faux sweet smile remained on her lips and you gulped softly, shaking your head 'no' when she raised an eyebrow and she gave you a full smile, patting your cheek not so gently but each touch only seemed to fuel the fire within you. "Good-" She was about to say something when Natasha cut her off with a glint in her eyes that sent a shiver down your spine.

"I have a better idea."

----

To be continued.

Hope you all loved it! I would love to hear your thoughts and will really appreciate it if you reblog and support me! <3

#lesbesapphicwrites #Lavender Haze au #dark wandanat x you #reader insert #wanda x nat #dark natasha romanoff #dark natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #dark wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you

434 notes · View notes

samkerrworshipper · 6 months

Text

togetherness | pt.2

longawaited and has been sitting in my drafts for weeks now cause i wasn’t quite sure if i liked the direction it’s gone in… but highliting different issues n stuff so i hope y’all enjoy! again i’ve edited this on my phone whilst reading from my kindle lol so not going to lie i’m aware that the editing could be shocking… there’s a few more parts sitting in my drafts so lmk if y’all want more

warnings: child exploitation, themes of sexual assault of minors, just general hurt with protective n supportive tillies

“Now that we’ve settled that, is there anything, anything at all that you’d like to tell me that I could help you with?”

I gulped, there were about six things I could think of just off the top of my head. I was tentative though. I could feel tears starting to form in the back of my eyes as I tried to make the decision in my head.

“No judgement?”

Sam’s immediate nod in response was comforting and apparently enough to get me talking.

“It’s going to sound stupid and I don’t even know what you could do about it considering that I’m probably somewhere in the wrong with it as well.”

Sam looked like a mixture of intrigued and perplexed.

“Y/n, even if I can’t do anything about it, you look like you just need to get it off your chest, I can be that for you as well, just tell me what’s been bothering you so much.”

I sniffled and nodded at Sam, this situation was so abnormally vulnerable for me.

“You know that I was rough around the edges when I got here, I know you haven’t heard the whole story, to put it simply I went through a rough patch when I was 14 and 15, before I got here. I’d just had spine surgery, I thought that I was never going to walk again, let alone play football. I turned to a lot of things, drugs, alcohol, anything. I ran away when I was 14, I don’t remember much of it, just that when I returned home my parents had had enough and they sent me off to the AIS for Tony to train me. Anyways, I’m rambling. Somewhere along the road I sent some explicit videos, photos and texts to my ex boyfriend, graphic ones, there’s a lot of them. He’s been posting them on reddit and twitter and they haven’t gotten any attention yet but with all the media coverage and bad press I’ve had recently I’m worried they are going to be brought up and I don’t know what to do about it.”

Sam’s expression was one thing, completely deflated and shocked. She was typing furiously into her phone whilst she was listening to my story. It took a few minutes of silence for her to reply to me.

“First off I want to start off with telling you how grateful I am for you sharing that information with me, it can’t have been easy and you are incredibly brave for telling me. I’ve got some follow up questions that I need to ask, you don’t have to answer them, I’d just appreciate it if you could try your best, okay?”

I nodded quickly in reply to Sam.

“Okay. How old were you when you sent these videos and how old was your boyfriend at the time?”

“I was 14 or 15, he was in his mid twenties.”

“So that puts him in his late 20s or early 30s right now, if my maths is correct. Did you take these photos and videos or did someone else?”

“I took most of them but he took some.”

Sam nodded at me again.

“Okay based on that question I can tell you that this ex boyfriend of yours is legally in possession of child pornography, that’s an indictable crime. If you want this to well and truly stop then we can go up that path. I want us to talk about this with Tony, it’s ultimately your decision but I think it would be very sensible to take this up with him at the very least. Y/n, you have done absolutely nothing wrong, I need to stress to you how important it is that you understand that. No one is going to blame this on you, because it isn’t your fault, you are a victim of a crime. That isn’t something light. I promise you that I have your best interests in concern when I’m telling you this. I have to ask, have you talked to anyone else about this? Your family? A therapist? A friend? Leah?”

Leah Williamson, my arsenal team captain and my best friend/mom/girlfriend. I shook my head at Sam, I’d wanted to tell Leah, she was the only person I probably trusted enough to tell but I hadn’t seen her in weeks.

“Do you want to talk to someone about it?”

“I was going to talk to Lee about it, eventually. Just with her ACL and us being in different places it didn’t make much sense, plus this stuff is so fucking stupid I didn’t want to bother anyone with it, I’m sorry for bothering you with it, Ellie was right I’m being fucking selfish.”

Sam’s face was unreadable, it was clear she was pretty deep in thought. She sat across from me for a few minutes, in thought, before she stood up and walked around the table, sitting herself down beside me.

“Can I give you a hug?”

I nodded and relaxed a little bit as I felt Sam’s arm snake its way across my shoulders, inevitably bringing me closer to her and into her chest.

“Williamson would want you to tell her, she’ll probably be mad that you didn’t tell her earlier. You are not being a bother to anyone, you have human emotions and this situation you are in is a hard one. You aren't being selfish, you are asking for help, which is a very human thing and you very clearly need it right now, there is nothing wrong with that. Now, how about I call Williamson for you, I’ll see you if you can get down here? I’m going to call Tony down here, I’ll brief him and he’ll help, okay?”

“I don’t want to tell Tony, he’s going to be mad and he’ll probably tell me this kind of behaviour isn’t wanted on his team and then I’ll get sent home.”

I could feel the material of Sam’s jumper that she must have thrown on after training soaking up my tears, that was embarrassing.

“I know you don’t want to, and I can promise you that Tony is going to be nothing but supportive, you’ve done nothing wrong. There is nothing illegal about what you did, now or then. Tony is not going to send you home, I promise. Now, do I need to call Williamson or can you do it?”

Realistically I probably could have, but I really didn’t want to.

“Can you?”

Sam nodded at me immediately, which comforted me a little bit.

“I wouldn’t have offered it if I couldn’t. She should be in Sydney right now to watch the Lionesses play tomorrow night, yeah? I’ll talk to her and we’ll see what we can work out for you. I don’t have her number though, so can you call her on your phone and I’ll talk to her.”

I nodded quickly, shakingly pulling my phone out of my pocket and pushing it out onto the table. I very quickly pulled Leah's contact, I’d called her last night so it wasn’t hard to find. She was the only person in the world that I could talk to when I was at my lowest, the only person who actually cared about me. So last night, whilst I was mid panic attack, on Ellie's and I’s ensuite floor I called her and she’d talked me through it. I should have told her then, it probably would have saved me this whole interaction with Sam, but I hadn’t wanted to worry her anymore, so I blamed it on pressure of being selected to start this week and she’d accepted my answer.

We’d been texting most of the morning, her asking me if I’d gotten sleep and if I was feeling alright, I’d answered shortly with an array of 'yes', because I didn’t want to worry her anymore. I passed the phone over to Sam once I found her phone number and she clicked the call button before pressing the phone up to her ear and standing up from her seat, starting to pace between the seats.

“Hey Leah, this is Sam, Sam Kerr, from the Matildas. Look, I’m here at our Sydney training facility with Y/n, we’ve just had a pretty serious conversation with her about some problems that she’s had recently and I was wondering if you were around so you could be here for her.”

Sam pulled out her own phone again as I assumed she listened to Leah’s response. It amazed me as to how fast her fingers danced across her own screen, it was a different kind of multi tasking.

“Yup, Mmm. Alright, I’ll send you the address, it’s not far from you guys hotel from recollection. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you being able to do this for her, I’ll see you soon and we can talk about it then.”

I gulped as Sam said her farewells and then hung up the phone before walking back over to me.

“She’s coming down, should be here in fifteen or so. She sounded worried about you, mentioned something about you having a panic attack to her on the phone last night and that she was concerned about you. I’ve texted Tony, he’s finishing up with Ellie and then he’s going to be down here. I’m going to get Steph to meet Leah downstairs when she gets here and she’ll bring her up, Y/n, we’re all here to support you however you need, alright?”

Me and Sam stayed silent in the room until about ten minutes later there was a distinct knock against the door.

“Sam, it’s me, unlock the door.”

Steph’s voice was pretty distinct, even through the heavy door. Sam stood up almost immediately, walking to the door and unlocking it before a grumpy looking Steph and a flustered version of Leah made their way through the doorway before Sam had the opportunity to relock it. Leah’s eyes went straight to my own, her whole facial expression was very controlled, she could command an entire room with that face, I knew from experience.

“Are you okay?”

Her words were directed at me, and only me. I pressed my tongue against my front teeth and lip, trying to decide how to answer the question.

“There’s some stuff that’s been happening that I haven’t told you, I’m not in trouble, or at least that’s what Sam is telling me. It’s some stuff from my past, when I was a kid. Explicit images and photos, on the internet, from when I was a kid. They popped up a few weeks ago, starting when I was in Spain with you before we came here. I didn’t bring it up because I thought I was at fault for it as much as the person who has possession of them. Sam told me that it isn’t, that I’ve done nothing wrong. I’m sorry, I know it was fucking stupid and I should have told you about it or not done it, I don’t even remember taking any of the photos or videos, it just happened and now I don’t know what to do because I don’t want it getting out to the public and I just, I don’t know how to deal with it.”

Leah’s face relaxed a little bit as I progressively talked and rambled. Once I was done she walked over to my spot, seated on one of the chairs and wrapped her arms around me.

“Hey, it’s alright, we’re going to sort this out. She’s right, you didn’t do anything wrong and you should have told me earlier but I am so grateful that you are telling me now, yeah? You are so brave kiddo, that’s child exploitation and whoever has possession of those materials is the one who’s in the wrong, okay?”

I nodded into Leah, Steph and Sam were whispering between each other behind us.

“You have to take legal action though.”

Those words made me feel like I’d been stabbed and my guts had been ripped out of my body cavity.

Leah let go of me very gently and pursed her lips.

“Because this isn’t going to go away if you don’t, and I know that you are strong but you aren’t going to be able to live if you know that this person who has possession of these materials is still out there. You’ve been checked out for weeks now, since before Mallorca. You aren’t going to check back into your life until this goes, I know it. I need you checked in, I need you to be my girl, not the skeleton of your own body that you inhabit as a coping mechanism when something bad happens.”

I think Leah would have said more if it wasn’t for the incessant knocking against the door that came again. Sam was the one who went to the door again, letting Tony in. He looked flustered as well, and a little bit worried. I’d known the man since I was 15, he’d seen me in some pretty interesting situations. Sam intercepted him before he could say anything, pulling him aside and giving him what I assumed to be the rundown of the last hour.

“I don’t think I can handle this getting out, it will, if I take legal action this is going to get out and then I’m going to be Y/n Y/l/n, the Matilda’s exploitative rookie and I’ll never be back here. My career will be over, Jonas won’t want me back, everything I've worked for will be done.”

Leah took a deep breath before wrapping her arms around me and working her hands through my scalp and hair.

“If you take legal action you will be supported, I’ll make sure of it. We are a part of a community of women that uplift us for everything you do, this won’t be any different. There will be some who judge, there is always going to be someone there to judge you. Y/n, you need to do this for your sanity, I won’t lose you to your mental health again, not like last year. Kerr has done the right thing here, bringing this up, it shows me that she cares a lot more about you then you think, it also shows me that she knows what’s best for this team and you. She wouldn’t be doing this if she didn’t think this was the best course of action.”

I nodded into Leah, trying to convince myself that her words were correct. Eventually, after Sam had given Tony the full rundown he sat down across from me, exactly where Sam had been beforehand. Sam and Steph both stood behind me and Leah, Sam’s arms resting gently on my shoulders, it was grounding.

“Sam’s told me about what’s happening. First of all I want to say how sorry I am that you are going through this, it’s not something that anyone should have to deal with, ever. Second of all I want to let you know that this team, this whole nation is in support of you. Look, it’s too late for me to take any action now. I’m going to get the police to come down tomorrow morning, you aren’t in trouble. I just think that they are going to have a better understanding of this situation than any of us could. They’ll come down, we’ll have a talk about all of this, they’ll ask the questions they need to. We don’t need to make any decisions now, we’ll talk to them, Sam and I will be there to advocate for you. After that we can make decisions about taking legal action and whatnot. Otherwise I just wanted to tell you genuinely, from the bottom of my heart how much we all care about you and value you here, we are all going to be here for whatever you need in the future, you are a valued part of this team and family and we are all here to look out for your needs, okay?”

I gulped, I could feel fresh tears springing to my eyes again. I was petrified of the police, to say the least, but Tony’s voice was so reassuring. He was the father that I’d never had and when I was 15 and he’d met me I’d been in a bad place, I’d needed him to be that figure in my life and he had been. He gave me a routine, gave me something to wake up for every morning. I probably wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for Tony. He’d given me a chance when no one else had been prepared to and for that I would always be in debt to him for.

“Okay, I’ll get in contact with the police, we’ll get a constable down tomorrow morning and we can have an open conversation with them about it, you are not in trouble, nothing is going to happen that will end in consequences for you. I think though that you need to head back to the hotel and get some proper sleep, your body needs it. So head back, don’t worry about any of this, because I’m going to sort it out and we’ll talk about it in the morning with a clean slate and mindset, alright?”

I nodded at Tony, I didn’t really have much to say.

“Thank you Coach.”

He nodded at me, before standing up and walking around to the other side of the octoval table and giving me a pat on the back.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, don’t worry about this anymore, it’s going to be okay. Get back to the hotel, we’ve got an early wakeup tomorrow.”

I nodded at Coach, watching as he left the room just as quickly as he’d entered it.

“I’ve talked to Steph, her and I are rooming together so we’ll switch, she’ll stay with Ellie and you can come and room in with me, I think we’ll keep it that way for the rest of the tournament.”

I looked over at Sam, nodding along with what she was saying. Leah reached her arms around me, a big bear hug.

“And I am here, I expect you to check in with me, at least twice a day. When you guys head off to Melbourne or Brisbane I’m not going to be able to be there, so I need you to stay in contact with me, okay? Anybody does so much as look at you wrong I want to be the first to know, okay?”

I nodded at Leah, half in fear, half in adoration. She was the only person in the world that I actually trusted in. Our bond had been forced, when I’d moved to London to play for Arsenal I’d been moved into the spare room in her apartment and in a very short amount of time we’d created a bond that extended beyond the realm of friendship. I loved her, she was the first person besides Tony to give me a chance and he was obligated to give me on, Leah had chosen to fight for me and to stick by my side even when it wasn’t easy, she was a good person, better than I was sure I’d ever be.

“We’ll drop you back to your hotel on our way home Williamson, it’s the least we could do considering you got here so quickly, can you just give us five minutes to grab our things from the locker room?”

Sam’s voice held no room for argument, she was insisting on giving Leah a ride home and Leah didn’t try to object.

“Please, call me Leah and if it’s no trouble I would really appreciate it. I can meet you guys down in the foyer in about five, I need to go to the loo, so whilst I’m doing that how about you guys go and get your stuff together?”

Sam, Steph and I all walked back down to the change rooms in a comfortable silence. It was when we actually made it back to the rooms that I realised I still had my boots on, the cleats that were spotless from not even getting any wear at training. The cleats that a few hours ago had seemed impossible to tie up. I made quick business of pulling them off of my feet, throwing them into my kit bag and pulling out the pair of Nike dunks that I’d worn in earlier when we’d all come down here for our match analysis. Sam and Steph both made quick work off slipping out of their training kits and changing into sweat pant duos that matched with me. After they’d gotten changed and refreshed we all grabbed our bags and whatever other things we had lying around before making our way down to the foyer.

Leah was waiting for us, tapping her foot violently against the marble floors. When she spotted the three of us out of the corner of her eye her stress ceased almost immediately. I’d learnt a lot about Leah in the amount of time I’d known her. One thing about England’s captain was that she was not as fearless as everyone credited her as being, she put on a brave face, a bloody good one, but she was just as human as everyone else and sometimes it showed, especially when she felt uncomfortable in a situation or she didn’t think she deserved to be where she was. I’d moved in with her initially just before she'd led the Lionesses to their victory at the euro’s, and at the time Leah had been a basket case to be nice. I think that was how we’d bonded, through our similar insecurities of not being good enough to fill the shoes that had been passed down to us.

“C’mon cap, let’s get going.”

Leah smiled at me and nodded. We’d been keeping our relationship under wraps for a few months now. Neither of us were insecure in our situation and we were happy to enjoy our private, happy and blessed life together. Plus we hadn’t really seen much of each other in the past month or so, being caught up with our obligations to our national teams. Leah was also very committed to her rehab and I couldn’t be there for every step of that so we’d spent some time apart. We’d both agreed when the new Arsenal season rolled around that we’d tell the team, but still keep it under wraps from the public for as long as we could. Neither of us were worried about the public finding out, I was out, had been since I was 14. Leah wasn’t officially but she’d also never dated a man and in the eyes of the female soccer world that pretty much means you're gay. It would come out when it did and we were prepared for that to happen.

We walked out to Steph’s car, piling all of our bags in the boot before Sam and Steph slid into the passenger and drivers seats whilst Leah and I both took seats in the backseat. Somewhere along in the drive her hand made its way to my own, resting gently on top of my knee cap. I interlocked our fingers and smiled up at her, this was the part of a secret relationship that I liked, getting moments just between the two of you that only the two of you understood. The sweet nothings. I felt my heart plummet a little bit as we arrived out the front of Leah’s hotel and I realised that I was going to have to say goodbye, potentially for a few more weeks. That was the suckish part of being a professional athlete messing around with another professional athlete, there wasn’t always a timeline on when you’d see each other next, sometimes it was just situational.

I made the call to walk Leah to the door of the hotel, when we got to the doors I gave her a hug, a big, long hug. She hugged me back, tightly. Leah was good at hugs. When we finally had to come apart I looked up at her, with my big green eyes and apparently she couldn’t resist because she reached down and honoured me with a peck. It was nothing more, a small gesture but to me it was everything.

“I love you okay, be safe, text me, call me. I am always here for you, don’t keep me in the dark on things that you think are going to burden me, they aren’t, call your therapist, please.”

I nodded at Leah, she was using her captain's voice with me that she knew I couldn’t refuse.

“When you get back to the hotel I expect you to eat some proper food, not of those bloody granola bars that you insist are nutritional, proper food. Hydrate, at least a litre of water. Sleep, you deserve to sleep, let yourself sleep. Call me in the morning and tell me how you are feeling, okay?”

I gulped and nodded at Leah, an action that I was becoming aware I might have done too much of tonight.

“Love you too, thank you for being here for me.”

“Anytime, I’m only ever one call away, now go home.”

I gave Leah one final look before walking back to the car, closing the door behind me only to be bombarded with googly eyes from the two co captains sitting in the front of the car.

“You and Williamson?”

Sam’s voice was the first one to break the sound barrier, it scared me a little bit.

“Yeah.”

I made it sound like it was a non fact, like every person on the planet knew that I was in the bed sheets of the Lionesses Captain.

“Fuck, I knew it, McCabe owes me fifty quid.”

Steph’s voice was steadier and surprised me a little bit.

“We all had bets, how long have you guys been together?”

“We’ve been dating for 6 or 8 months, fucking around with each other since I joined Arsenal so about a year or so.”

Steph’s eyebrows rose to the top of her forrid, obviously very surprised by my answer.

“You're trying to tell me that you and Lee have just casually been hiding a relationship behind closed doors for months.”

“I mean we’re roommates, it wasn’t that hard to hide, plus we just aren’t rabbits who need to fuck on every surface unlike Sam and fucking Kristie, I’m never going to be able to mentally burn the image of you two getting at it on the pool table after the olympics, that was fucking traumatic.”

Sam’s face had flushed, we constantly brought it up with her. After our bronze loss to the US in the olympics a lot of the team had gone out in celebration with the Americans, what I hadn’t expected to find that night when I’d walked into the room that I thought was the bathroom was Sam eating her secret girlfriend out on the table. It had messed with my brain permanently.

“Hey you're the one who’s always bringing it up, maybe you were secretly into it, secret fantasy between you and Williamson.”

I loudly gagged from my spot in the backseat, extremely displeased by Sam’s imaginative imagery.

“Nobody thinks that Sam, it’s just you and all of your lost brain cells.”

There was something so comfortable about the dynamic between Sam and Steph, something so sisterly and bonded. They were like family, they messed around with each other and pushed each other but they loved each other and the both of them knew that at the end of the day. They might not have been the closest on the team, they weren’t each other's best friends but they were family and that was all that mattered.

“Whatever you say Stephy.”

#woso #woso community #leah williamson #marry me rn #sam kerr #leah williamson x reader #matildas x reader #matildas #tillies #samantha may #sam kerr x reader #tears for fears #crying lil bit #i’m sleep deprived #it’s 12am #idek #idek anymore #idek what to tag this

343 notes · View notes

justanamesstuff · 9 months

Note

I really want to start reading more fics here what/who do you recommend

Oh, this is going to be LONG haha...i don't usually do this because literally everyone here is amazing and this kinda stuff is very subjective. I'll tell you MY opinion and likes...someone can disagree and also I might forget someone (not on porpoise of course). Just to clarify :)))

Okay, recommendations:

First long fic I read here was 'Ruins' by @yourtouchismidas I still sometimes remember that time, how I waited for every single one of the chapters and all the feelings I went through its something tattooed on my heart <3

EVERYTHING and I literally mean everything @lottiecrabie writes is purely amazing. 'Pray for my soul' is something I adore with my entire heart (because I relate to it haha) and 'Galatea, take one' deserves to be in a museum...just to give you some examples.

If you're into George fics (reader x George Daniel) YOU HAVE TO READ 'I guess I’ll take this pain, instead of your name' @heyidkyay . She was also one of the first writers I found around the fandom so check the rest of the fics too but the George one has my entire heart!!

My bestie @thefrontofmymind is also one of my first findings, and I instantly fell in love with her writing. Absolutely ALL OF HER FICS are incredible!! She's a series called 'Might As Well' I'm absolutely obsessed with and wait (im)patiently for every upload haha

Recently I finished reading 'Nothing Revealed In A Common Crisis' written by @imagine-that-100 MASTERPIECE!! She also wrote 'Chicken Shop Date' with @alovesreading another first fic I read in one sitting haha

@beeninlovewithherforages is a very recent find (and amazing mutual)...check her blurbs that are mind-blowing but pleaseee 'your favorite girl' is everything you need in your life!!

Every single one of @toomuchracket 's works deserves all your time and attention (I still can't believe she's a mutual 🤭🤭)

If you're into OCs please check @because-she-goes matty x oc!nore those two are the definitely power couple!!

@abiiors the Queen of blurbs and killing my soul with 'haunt // bed' that one will be a forever favourite!!!

'I'll do anything you say (if you say it with your hands)' by @automaticllamacycle is simply perfection!! the rest of her work as well ♥♥

One of my first mutuals here @soil-just-needs-water-to-be writes the cutest and most amazing George x Matty fic so GO AND READ IT!!! Those two are going to melt my heart but they are everything <33

What can I tell you about my adorable @tillthelandslide ? One, she's the most amazing person I met...Two, amazing writing is short, i need better words really! She writes a series I love, adore, obsessed about, everything called 'Insufferable Arsehole' and all of her works are incredible!!

The Record shop by @uramilf 🙌🙌🙌 a forever favourite!!! and if you need Ross, George, even Matty too fics...she's your writer!

All of @healyswhore I love with my life...always warming my heart with her cuteness 💖

@heralldaylong days ago upload her first fic so go and suport because that's one of the BEST blurbs I've read in all my time here!!

My sweet @insidemymind19 all of her works...but check her instagram aus that are sooooo good! (send her ideas too haha)

@64yrsold another writer I admire here...I need to keep reading her new fic but I've only heard great words about it (and a lot of feelings haha)

@sheswayyout milk is a must read!!!

'Then Because She Goes' by @3terna15unshin3 i haven't read it yet...but it's in my list, because that fics looks so promising!!!

@definedbydaylight has an instagram au fic and a series both Matty x reader *chef's kiss*

All of @the1975attheirverybest fics gave me A LOT of support and reassurance during hard times...and also, not reading related but she created an amazing place to chat here (fuck u to all of the haters) so if you need/want a place to chat about other stuff definitely go there!!

'Does she take care of you or could I easily fill her shoes?' by @dontfall-inlove-withthe-moment pain...but amazing perfection!!

'Petrichor' by the amaaaazing @cryley is on my list too...one of the sweetes mutuals here so absolutely rec!

@cowboylor works are another must...I can't write my thoughts about them because not appropriated but 🥵🥵🥵 I still think about a pair of them constantly haha

I feel im repeating words, but trully EVEEEEERYTHING @justlikemebutsixfootthree wrote its something you NEED you MUST read!!

Andddd I will end with a last recommendation, with one writer I admire with all my heart and fell in love with 'love it if we made it' universe since the first time my eyes read all the beautiful parts she wrote...so read @imightgetbetter works, i beg you!!!!

Hope this helps haha...If i remember any other fic/writer I'll add it to this. To anyone that I forget to add know that the only reason behind is my bad slept mind not remembering names and stuff 😅😅 I repeat anon, the writing level this fandom has is absolutely magnificent so any work you find would be a great option to start reading :)))

#matty healy fic #george daniel #ross macdonald #the 1975 fanfics

159 notes · View notes

trumpkinhotboy · 4 months

Text

Chronic protective brother syndrome

Pairing: big brother!nick nelson x little sister!reader

Type: Request (thank you so much!!)

Warnings: Mention of fainting, having a chronic illness, but nothing too intense

Word count: 1900

Requests: Open! For Heartstopper, twilight wolfpack, chronicles of narnia and harry potter

A/n: honestly… i dont have much to say except that i love writing for requests and that big brother nick makes me weak in the knees. Hope you enjoy angels xxx

*gif is not mine

Summary: The reader has been living with diabetes her whole life. She's grown quite accustomed to it and manages it well with the help of her supportive family. Although sometimes, support can feel a little suffocating...

Through your 14 years of existence, you have grown quite accustomed to life with type 1 diabetes. As you grew up and became more conscious of what it meant to live with a chronic disease, you learned to accept and care for yourself quite well.

Your mother, Sarah, was a real trooper and never let you down, always carrying you when you felt exhausted and done with your condition, which did happen more often than you care to admit. Luckily, you also had someone else in your corner: your older brother.

Nick is known to be quite protective. Especially with the people he cares for. However, that aspect of his personality gained a new high when you were born, and your mother explained why you could never do everything just as he did. Of course, you would still be able to do most of them. You would simply need to be a little more careful.

Sarah remembers very clearly the look in little Nick’s eyes when she explained why you were always sick. You were resting in bed after a substantial flare-up when his eyes welled up with tears. That's when he finally understood that there was something in your own body that would always try to fight and hurt itself. That’s also when he promised himself he would do everything to protect you. Your mum still tells that story with a few tears welling up in her eyes.

Nick knew you could have a lot of complications from your disease. To avoid them, he always made sure you had everything you needed at all times. You usually didn't mind, seeing how your ADHD sometimes made it a little harder for you to remember to pack your stuff. Plus, the fatigue diabetes often fogged you with did not help in that department.

The thing is you were now 14 years old, finally starting to make new friends and explore the jungle that is social life in high school. So when your 16-year-old brother comes over, and all your lady friends swoon over him, or worse, when he comes over to baby you, it gets a little irritating. Luckily, Nick was quite stubborn about that stuff and was not about to let you get hurt just because of the image you wanted to project.

That was until you made quite a scene in front of everyone.

You had been feeling particularly irritated and moody that day. So when you saw your brother walk over to you with a backup diabetes kit, which was his creation, you felt anger boil in your blood.

It did not help to hear some nasty year 10 make jokes from a picnic table near your friends and you. "Oh, would you look at that? Diabetes Nelson still needs her big brother to bring her her little drugs. I don't understand how someone like him could be related to her."

It was stupid. It wasn't even a good insult. Plus, the people who kept making comments were not something to be impressed with. Still, you couldn't help the shame from creeping on your cheeks.

So this time, when your big brother came to check on you and offered you your safety pouch, you refused.

"I already have the normal one. I don't need this one."

"I know, but I don't think you've put the new insulin shots in. I brought you the safety one just in case."

The snickers you heard from the people behind had you gritting your teeth. You couldn't understand their exact words, but you knew it wasn't positive.

"Don't you have anything better to do than watch over me all day?" you hissed. "I'm not stupid Nick."

Your diabetes also made you prone to mood swings, mostly when your blood sugar levels were too high or low. That's why Nick usually did not make a big deal out of these outbursts, but this time felt different. Hurt flashed in his eyes, and briefly, you regretted the words.

"I never said that. I just want to make sure you have everything you need. You know the risks." His tone was soft, his gaze focused on you. He tried as much as he could not to make a big deal out of this, but your reaction had the exact opposite effect. He knew how the fear of being judged could make a person act in such a terrible way.

"I don't need you to remind me how weak and useless my body is, okay? I'm the one living with diabetes, Nick. Not you." You whispered angrily.

You grabbed your bag and left him planted there without looking back. Nick and you were usually like two peas in a pod, and to leave him there hurt much more than you would care to admit.

You got back in class, trying to act normal, but after an hour in, you felt queasy and feeble. You had indulged in some sweets some friends offered after your altercation with Nick, brushing off the risk with your ongoing anger. Subtly, you pricked your finger and couldn't help your eyes from growing two sizes when you saw the little numbers your tracker presented. You were in hyperglycemia and urgently needed to get a shot of insulin. Swiftly, you asked to be excused from the class and headed for the bathroom. The walls seemed to shake around you, and your vision kept warping up. Cursing yourself for being this dumb, you opened your bag with shaking hands, searching for your shots.

"Shit."

There was only one thing worse than fighting with Nick, and it was when you realized he had been right. You mumbled under your breath, trying to stay calm and figure out a quick solution because this was becoming urgent, and you needed the care right now. Calling Nick would do no good since he was at Truham anyway. You decided to head back to class to ask for your teacher's help, but once you tried climbing the stairs, a thousand little dots started dancing around. You were able to mutter an 'I feel kinda dizzy' before everything turned black.

You awoke to a commotion. Distorted sounds and everything around you moved too fast to register. Someone was holding your hand while you felt a pinch in your arm.

"It's okay, it's okay Y/n. You're going to be okay. I'm here."

You knew that voice. You lifted your gaze with an effort and only saw a flash of red hair before darkness swallowed you once more.

This time, when you woke up, everything was silent and peaceful. You were lying in a bed, a hospital bed, with an IV drip set up in your arm. Nick was resting in the chair next to you, his worried eyes set on his phone as he quickly typed.

"Hey," you croaked.

His head whipped up in surprise when he heard your voice. He immediately dropped his phone to come by your side. His hand flew to your forehead. The coolness of it felt incredibly refreshing as you leaned into the touch.

"Hey, kid," he whispered. He tried putting a smile on his face, but it couldn't hide the worry he was truly feeling.

"So, I'm guessing I fainted? And someone found me? And they panicked ?"

"Panicked is an understatement."

He explained that Imogen found you at the bottom of the stairs. She didn't know whether you had fallen from them or just fainted at the bottom, so she immediately called for help and texted him.

"I ran to Higgs faster than Charlie ever could," he added with a smirk, his joke stealing a chuckle from your chest.

"I'm sorry for causing such a commotion. I should wear a bracelet that says fainting is normal for me so people won't worry."

His gaze hardened at your comment. "Fainting is not normal for you. It's a bad sign, and you know it."

You sheepishly dropped your gaze. Okay, he wasn't ready to make jokes about it yet. Charlie would have laughed, you secretly thought.

"I don't understand why you pulled that crap. I just wanted to help you."

You lay back in bed with a sigh and covered your eyes with your forearm. You did know Nick only wanted to help, but still. His kind gestures irritated you so much sometimes.

"It's already hard enough to be the sick kid. That was my only thing when I was in middle school. I thought now I could step away from it, that I could be someone else. Be known for other things than my messed up immune system."

You noticed Nick's expression softened once you uncovered your eyes.

"And I know you want to help and trust me, I appreciate it. It's just that sometimes it feels like you don't believe in me. Like you don't think I'm capable of doing stuff. Instead of helping me become stronger, you keep worrying me with your horror scenarios."

It was now Nick's turn to look all sheepish and guilty. You might have been right in saying he tended to get a little paranoid when you wanted to try new things. He only thought about protecting you. He never realized the effect it would have on your self-esteem.

"I'm tired of being afraid. I've looked it up, and there are so many people with diabetes who are doing amazing things. I can stay healthy and still be a badass kid who tries new stuff."

He looked up, his eyes holding so much uncertainty and fear. Though through it all, love was the strongest thing in his gaze. He grabbed your hand once again with a tight smile.

"I hear you, I'm sorry. I never thought it would make you feel like this, or else I wouldn't have done it."

"Nick." You gave him a knowing look.

"Okay, okay. I might have still done it, but only because you're my baby sister, and I want you to be healthy and have a long, long life, okay?"

You nodded while tightening your grip on his hand.

"I promise I will be less overbearing, and I will support you in whatever new thing you want to try."

"Thanks, Nick, and for school, could you maybe not come and do your big brother number in front of all my friends? I appreciate the gesture, but I'm over dealing with the dumbasses."

He sighed heavily but still agreed to your request. "About that, just a piece of advice. I've learned that sometimes the thing we are afraid will show our weakness or vulnerability only does when we allow it to. Once you reclaim your power and own it, it all switches around. Anyone who has something to say about it will suddenly disappear, or you won't care what they have to say anymore."

You nodded sheepishly. You honestly didn't care about your diabetes. I mean, it could be a gigantic pain, and you would have to be careful for the rest of your life. But all in all, you were pretty lucky. You had your condition mostly under control when you weren't a sassy dumbass, and you had the best support system someone could wish for.

"Look at me. You're going to be okay kiddo." Your brother squeezed your hand tighter in a reassuring motion.

You lifted your head to meet his supportive gaze and smiled in return. Yes, you would be okay.

#ilya writes #nick nelson #nick nelson x little sister!reader #nick nelson x sibling!reader #heartstopper #heartstopper fic #nick nelson fic #nick and charlie #alice oseman #kit connor #anon request

71 notes · View notes

antianakin · 5 months

Note

You know what I despise just as much as Imperial apologists? Separatist apologists. People claim that the CIS did nothing wrong, that they were the "real heroes of the Clone Wars", that their benevolent movement was hijacked by evil people, but in reality, the CIS was intentionally designed to be an evil force by evil people. Sure, there were some "good" folks on the Separatists' side, but in the end, they CHOSE to align themselves with some of the most despicable people in the galaxy. Also, they tend to forget that the CIS was created by Sith as a means of weakning the Jedi Order.

While I certainly don't think the Separatists were heroes of any kind, I don't think that the actual politicians in the CIS were intentionally aligning themselves with people they believed to be despicable. It's made pretty clear in "Heroes on Both Sides" that the CIS parliament seems to have no clue that their whole army is being led by the corporate alliance. They call out that the whole point behind the CIS was to free themselves from being connected to the corporate alliance the way the Republic is, and they believe that they've SUCCEEDED at that. So it's less that they've intentionally aligned themselves with evil people doing evil things so much as they were completely and utterly duped and manipulated into a position where they've ended up unknowingly supporting the very evil they claim to be against.

What I WILL say about the Separatist politicians though is that every single one of them that we're shown seems to be very willfully ignorant. When Mina meets with Padme, she refuses to hear a bad word against Dooku, even though presumably Padme could say a lot of things about how Dooku allowed her to be nearly executed on Geonosis simply because she wouldn't join the CIS. And after Mina's assassinated, Lux tries to speak to some of the Separatist politicians who gathered for a peace summit to tell them that Dooku killed his mother and he's shot down cold for lying about it and then thrown out of the building. Mina and the other Separatists have been manipulated SO HARD into believing in Dooku and his promises that they can't believe anything or anyone that goes against what he says, even when it's someone they consider a friend or the child of one of their own.

That willful ignorance moves them far away from being "heroes" of any kind for me. I can appreciate that they had legitimate grievances against the Republic, that they believed they were doing what was right for their people, and that there was a lot of things that were clearly hidden from them. So they're by no means the ones most at fault for the war. But they SHOULD'VE been more willing to accept that Dooku (and by extension themselves and the entire Separatist movement) was not perfect when told or shown evidence by people they claimed to trust.

The other mark against the Separatists is that the King of Onderon that we're introduced to in season 5 is HORRIFIC. The guy who is explicitly said to be the new Separatist leader is terrible and the people hate him and much prefer the old King (who, by implication, was presumably more pro-Republic or at least served primarily back when Onderon was still a member of the Republic). And this was MINA'S PLANET. Mina is not someone who is represented as just some stupid vapid politician, she's supposed to be smart and kind, she's Padme's mentor. She's supposed to be someone who truly CARES, but her people are suffering under a Separatist installed ruler and there's no mention of that at all during her one episode. There's no indication that she was even aware or paying attention to it. So long as the war never made it to her planet, she seems to have been looking the other way. And we can probably assume similar stuff is happening on the other Separatist planets, too, that Separatist rulers have been installed who are willing to basically let Dooku and the Corporate Alliance do whatever they want with no regard for how it'll impact the actual people. And Dooku is going to be able to continue to manipulate and blind the Separatist politicians into not realizing what's going on or believing that this is just a temporary necessary evil of some kind.

The major advantage the Republic Senate has for me is that there IS at least a small group of people (small being relative, there's so many politicians in the Senate that a group of 2000 people is considered small) who DO recognize what's going on in their own government, and who are actively fighting against the corruption they can see and acknowledge. They don't believe their system is PERFECT, but they believe that it's still the best system available and worth fighting to make it BETTER and remove the people keeping it corrupt. The CIS doesn't have that. Every single person is so willfully ignorant to everything that they can't have people like Padme or Bail or Mon Mothma who can see the problems in their own government and actively work to make it better from the inside. And this just makes the Separatist politicians unknowingly part of the problem they don't even realize exists (or aren't willing to admit exists), which means that their people are just going to keep suffering while their elected representatives sit on their high horses and do nothing.

So I don't think they're EVIL, but they're not heroes either. Much like Anakin, they're manipulated by someone they should be able to trust and who presents himself as someone trustworthy, and they're not mindful enough to recognize the truth behind what they've gotten involved in or humble enough to listen when someone tries to make them aware of it. So yes, it was an evil force designed by evil people with the explicit purpose of weakening the Jedi AND the Republic enough for Palpatine to maneuver himself into power, but I don't for a MOMENT believe that the actual politicians involved in the CIS ever realize that until it's far too late. As far as they're concerned, it IS a benevolent movement and if they ever realize the truth of it in the aftermath of the war, then from their perspective it probably DID get hijacked by evil people. The Separatists are, in many ways, a tragic story. They SHOULD'VE been a good thing, they should've been a group of people genuinely working to try to create a new, better system for their people. They had the best of intentions, but much like Anakin, it's mostly just paving the road to hell.

I'd love more fics that look at the Rebellion era where you get both Republic and Separatist people having to work together and instead of the Separatists being all high and mighty about how THEY always knew the Republic was corrupt and everyone else was just too naive, there's some people who point out that the Separatist movement was literally run by the corporate alliance, that their entire ARMY was being run by the Techno Union and Trade Federation, that the Separatists were CLEARLY getting tax benefits from the Banking Clan that the Republic was NOT getting. I'd love more acknowledgement that yes, the Republic was corrupt, but that there were a LOT of people who knew that and were working to fix that problem, but that the Separatist movement wasn't some perfect idyllic government that didn't do anything wrong ever in their lives, either. The Separatist army did a lot of really fucking heinous shit to people and I'd love more Republic Rebels throwing that back at all those Separatist Rebel characters who get so high and mighty about knowing the Republic was corrupt. Like sure, great, you knew the Republic was corrupt, so did a LOT of people, many of whom were working to actually DO something about it. Come back to me when you're able to tell me you knew YOUR government was corrupt, too, then we can talk.

#star wars #separatists #the clone wars #republic

85 notes · View notes

filmbyjy · 1 year

Text

TWITTER SUCKS! > twenty-four! is that ENHYPEN?

synopsis > who knew you could become famous overnight for paying $8 for a single blue checkmark? however, it does come with consequences…what happens when the actual BELIFT Lab comes knocking at your door. all because you simply impersonated your bias.

masterlist | previous | next

a/n: this is a small filler written chapter but it’s as important for the story bc this has y/n’s background story and stuff so yeah👍🏻

ENHYPEN were like saviours of your life you’d say. you found them at the lowest point of your life. you started college when ENHYPEN first debuted. you also so happen to have broken up with your ex-boyfriend, who was also your childhood sweetheart.

— placing this so the read more doesn’t mess up —

you caught him cheating on you after dating for a total of 4 years. you thought he would be the one. clearly that was a joke. who knew he was capable of cheating on you? to explain, your ex-boyfriend was a typical nerdy guy with glasses. you gave him a chance because you knew guys like this wouldn’t hurt you. clearly, you thought wrong.

subin was the first to know about this since you didn’t get to know Mae when you were still a freshman. she had comforted you a lot, seen you at your worst as you cried on her shoulder. complained about how you shouldn’t have given the nerd a chance. to which subin just said that ‘not all nerds are like this, rather the idiot you dated got too cocky thinking he could get with anyone he wanted.’

subin knew you needed a distraction so she decided to introduce you to ENHYPEN. she watched I-LAND so she knew them before. she thought that maybe they were the best group you could be introduced to.

“here, these are the k-pop boys I listen to. this is jay, jake, sunghoon. oh and that’s-”

“who is that?” your eyes caught with a particular doe eyes. it reminded you a lot of your ex but he was way prettier and definitely way more hotter.

“that’s heeseung. oh! unnie, he is the same age as you.”

“heeseung…”

“wanna listen to their debut album? oh right and did you know they are vampires?”

you were thankful for subin for introducing ENHYPEN. their songs helped you get over your ex. their content always made you smile and laugh and you eventually started to call yourself an ENGENE because you wanted to support them.

one day, you bumped into Mae. she was intimidating at first but when her earpiece accidentally unplugged and you heard a familiar song play, you uttered…

“is that ENHYPEN?”

the rest was history between you and mae.

to bring it back to current situation with heeseung…

you knew dating an idol wasn’t the best ideal situation. moreover, it’s an idol you admire. you thought you were insane to think you’ve fallen for him because what if you were delusional. what if heeseung just flirted with you the way he did with other fans. it was probably just fan service.

when mae said you were in love with heeseung, your whole world came crashing down. no, there was no way you were in love with him. you had to back off, you can’t fall for him. not when you were a broken record. you can’t let heeseung’s reputation get tainted by some girl who got cheated on.

his fans would’ve loved for him to date someone pure, beautiful and amazing. you weren’t any of those. you were bawling your eyes out. hands shaking to pick up your ringing phone.

your voice quivered, “mae, can you come over?”

mae came over in a heartbeat, she sent subin a text too letting her know. she comforted you as subin makes her way over. subin bursts through your dorm door, a worried look all over her face.

“hey, what’s wrong?” she says.

“(name) hasn’t told me anything yet.” mae says as she rubs your shoulder. you were in tears, weeping next to her.

“did ‘he who shall not be named’ text you?” subin asks.

you shook your head.

“(name), you need to tell us. I know it hurts to say it out loud but I promise we can help more if you tell us.” mae softly says.

“I-”

they nod and egged you further so you could finish your sentence.

“I think I love heeseung.”

both subin and mae stared at each other. they knew they had to do something. something to get you to realise maybe it isn’t so bad to date an idol. they needed help.

and maybe mae knew just the right people for it.

series taglist[open]: @lovers-szn @shiguresohmas @moonshoon @byunappetit @strvlveera @rikisly @4lythe @lalalalawon @beansworldsstuff @enhastolemyheart @jaehaki @shinsou-rii @jeanbob @sxftiell @renchai @nyfwyeonjun @invusblog @lhees01 @donghyckl @enhafika @dimplewonie @foxsunoo @luv2lia @lvrjjun @curly-fr13s @bubblytaetae @raikea10 @ce1ight @luvlee1313 @hafsa-hoofsa-heefs @soobisrealgfnotfake @justkatehere @l0tisflower @jseobsky @haerinism @liliansun @kyanmeai @nobodyshallenter @faeryhee @pkjay @mlink64 @luxurystark-jackson @aleombre @yenqa @heestrawberries @soaen @ckline35 @http-gyu @climbingmandevillas @stopeatread @y4wnjunz @aetherlol @whippedforbeomgyu @elisabeth-02

(to be added please send an ask or click here)

247 notes · View notes

haleyhunwritess · 2 years

Note

Would you be able to write a Stucky dentist fic? Maybe Bucky is just as nervous as reader!

Dentist Trip

Warnings: dd/g themes, LOTS OF FLUFF, some swear words

A/N: Here you go <3 I'm not too sure if this is what you wanted but I can always do another one so feel free to send in another request!

Bucky was pacing around the living room as Steve was getting their little one tucked in for bed. Her dentist appointment was early in the morning, and for some reason, it seemed like Bucky was more worried and anxious about going to the dentist than his little girl.

“Alright, do you think you could take a moment to sit down?” Steve groaned as he entered the room to see Bucky pacing about, overthinking what would happen in the morning. He took a seat on the couch, while Bucky opted to ignore him and continued to stress about the appointment.

“What if she has like seven cavities? O-or what if she needs a root canal treatment?! Goddamn it Steve! I told you to stop taking her out for ice cream every time she draws a picture of you! She only does it every single day now because you spoil her with all those sweet sweet treats, and now she has to go to the dentist and probably get a root canal! If she needs some kind of dental surgery I- I swear to god if you don’t stop laughing I’m gonna break your fucking teeth. Steve this is not funny.” Bucky glared at Steve when he looked back at him sitting on the couch and covering his mouth to stop himself from laughing out loud.

“Okay, I’m sorry! But seriously you need to stop stressing and maybe get some sleep now. The appointment is very early in the morning, and I’m sure you wanna be there for her.” Steve chuckled and got up to lead Bucky up the stairs and to their room, despite all the whining from Bucky.

The next morning, Steve woke up before the alarm went off while Bucky was still sleeping soundly. He carefully took Bucky's phone and turned off the alarm so Bucky could sleep soundly. He got out of bed quietly to get dressed, then woke up his angel to get her ready for her dentist appointment.

“Hi, Sweetheart. Aww you got ready all by yourself? Such a good girl.” Steve walked in and smiled at his girl who was already dressed and ready to go. He noticed that she was fidgeting with her fingers a lot and looked anxious.

“Hi, Daddy.” She mumbled and looked down at her feet while trying her best not to cry.

“Hey hey, no need for tears, angel. You’re going to be okay, sweet girl. I promise it is just a little checkup. If something is wrong then we wont’t even have to worry about it today, we’ll have plenty of time to work through anxiety just in case you need to have some kind of procedure done. Does that sound good, angel?” Steve scooped her up and gently rubbed her back in an attempt to calm her down and silence her cries.

She simply nodded, feeling a bit better but still a little anxious.

“Can we pwease go without Dada?” She mumbled, almost hoping Steve wouldn't hear her, which he did, but he tried not to frown at her small request.

“Why is that babygirl? You don’t want him there for support?” He slightly bounced her in his arms as he started to walk downstairs to get ready to leave.

“Because...Dada gets too worried!” She looked at Steve to see his reaction, hoping he isn’t upset over what she just said.

“Oh, sweet girl, you don’t have to worry about worrying your Dada, okay?”

“I’m not...it’s just annoying!” Steve had to stifle a laugh at her reply and try his best to keep a straight face on.

“What do you mean by that, sweetness?”

“Well not annoying but it just makes me even more nervous! He gets really silly and says a lot of scawy stuff! Yesterday, he said if they have to numb my mouth then I get to choose a flavour...why would he even tell me that they might numb my mouth! It just makes me more worried, Daddy!” Steve chuckled at her and set her down to help her get her shoes on.

“Okay, I see what you’re saying, baby. Maybe we’ll just let Dada have his beauty sleep. What do you say, huh?” She nodded at his response and gave him a kiss on his cheek before they walked outside.

Bucky finally woke up a few hours later when he heard the doorbell ring. He groaned slightly and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes before picking up his phone to check the time.

“It’s only 2am, who is even- it’s 2pm?!” Bucky quickly got out of bed and ran downstairs to put his shoes on before he heard the doorbell ring again.

“Who keeps- Angel? Steve? Did you guys already go to the dentist?” Bucky quickly picked up his little one, who seemed to be a little bit sleepy.

“Yup. Okay, before you get mad, she is the one who suggested we let you sleep and go to the dentist without you. It went well though, nothing to worry about!” Steve walked in and shut the door behind him before giving you a forehead kiss, and then walking to the kitchen to grab a drink.

“Doll, did you not want me there?” Bucky tried his best not to look upset but he could barely his disappointment of not being there for his girl.

“I...I-I’m sorry, Dada! I really wanted you there! I was just very nervous, and I don’t wike making Dada nervous as well! But I really missed Dada’s cuddles and I pwomise next time I’ll wait for Dada! I very veryyy sorry!” She hugged him tightly making his heart flutter and hug her back.

“Babydoll, I’m sorry for scaring you, and I’m sorry for making you think you have to worry about making me feel worried or nervous. It’s my job to take care of you, and sometimes I will stress over silly little things like this, however, I promise not to go overboard again, okay? Can’t be missed cuddle time with my doll after she was so brave for the dentist!” Bucky seated her on his lap on the couch and smiled as she started playing with his hair.

“Okay, Dada! No more missing cuddles or ice-cream after the dentist! Wasn’t as fun without you!”

“Aww, doll I promise I will be there next t- wait ice-cream time? Steve, if you don’t back down here right now I swear to god you’re gonna need the dentist next!”

#daddy!stucky #daddy!stucky x little!reader #daddy!bucky #daddy!steve #steve fluff #bucky fluff #bucky barnes fic #steve rogers fic #steve x little!reader #bucky x little!reader

447 notes · View notes

fairycosmos · 7 months

Note

really urgent

do you have any advice for dealing with violent, aggressive younger siblings? I try to avoid them both as much as I can but I you know tell him to do the dishes or no, I won’t share my food with him and he’ll kick me, scream or yell and he always taunts me oh are you scared I’ll hit you? and I’m physically disabled, weak, have no balance and it’s so humiliating. and I just have to take it and pretend I don’t care. I also always tell myself to just ignore him like never interact with him again unless my dad tells me to or sth and only then but idk I can never keep my promise. UGH now I’m crying because I don’t know what to do. Like they both threaten violence, one is 15 the other 19, but they’re both really strong and muscular. None of my friends understands because most of them are only children or simply don’t live in an insane family. I hate them both so much and I hate that I’m scared of them and that they know it. They’re also both big misogynists and this is like stuff that they’ll brag about to their friends. I’ve tried telling my parents but they don’t really listen, they either don’t believe or tell me it’s my fault if they retaliate. I also can’t tell my grandparents bc it’s humiliating and also I think they would think that I’m exaggerating. But idk what to do and it’s getting annoying. and also dangerous. help (like there’ve been times my brother and his friends have chased me through my town I mean literally, like I had to run away and hide. Or times when the older one has p*ssed on my bed. The older one also at times has threatened to use a knife on my mom and cut her, so she’s also scared off him, which is why she won’t intervene) 😐

hey, thank you for reaching out to me. this is so so messed up and i'm so sorry you have to deal with it - i literally can not fathom the gravity of what you're going through and the fear you have to live with every day. it's completely unacceptable and no matter what, there is no justifying the shit you've been forced to put up with - while i absolutely understand that your parents are scared of your brothers too, they have a duty of care and responsibility to protect you and they are not seeing it through by allowing this to continue. i know it's very nuanced and i'm not blaming anyone other than your brothers for how they're acting, but none of this is fair to you at all. i also understand that telling your grandparents seems like a scary, daunting prospect but if it is something that is on the cards i really urge you to consider it. write down what you need to say if that helps you get your thoughts organised. if you're worried about having to prove their behaviour, would you parents not at least consider backing you up on this? are you able to record a snippet of these meltdowns to show them? though you truly should not have to go to those lengths, it's awful. you just deserve all the support you can possibly get, and i don't want fear of not being believed to stop you from seeking that.

this is a very serious situation and i'm worried about giving you the wrong advice that could possibly exacerbate things. staying in your room and completely disengaging from them as much as possible is definitely recommended as a first step, but there has to be other resources you can possibly look into. i'm going to leave various links below that can offer you that support and those coping mechanisms and i hope you at least check some of them out - i wish i could offer more insight myself but your brothers sound extremely dangerous and i think it's urgent that you reach out to family, friends, communal support, your GP, or the authorities that are actually tangibly around you. i know that's infinitely easier said than done, and i'm not expecting you to gain some superhuman amount of courage that will allow you to sort everything out overnight. that's not your job. it is absolutely 100% understandable that you are scared and traumatised by their actions. what i am saying is that you are clearly at a place where you know this isn't right and that it can not continue, and that the resources below can help guide you towards reaching out and also coping with the situation at hand. i hope you're able to check them out, even just one or two, and implement them into your life moving forward. again, i'm so so sorry you're dealing with this and i hope you know that there are people who can help, that you are not doomed to live in this exact situation forever. sending so so much love your way, please reach out if and when possible. you do not deserve this and i am rooting for you with all of my heart. if you need a friend, someone to talk to a more specific form of support please reach out to me and i will try my best to help as much as i am able. x

if you're under 18 - please please consider reaching out to a teacher, a friend's parent or CPS/childline (resources for that here, here, here and here.) if you are in ever in immediate danger, call the authorities immediately. it is ok to put yourself first.

info on sibling abuse

international abuse helplines

disability and abuse helpline

getting help for domestic violence

domestic violence safety plan pdf

info on toxic siblings and estrangement

living with abuse: coping mechanisms pdf

abuse: self help guide pdf

the survivors handbook: support for disabled women

disability & abuse resource

simple trauma coping mechanisms pdf

coping with trauma worksheets/exercises pdf list

how to report domestic abuse 1

how to report domestic abuse 2

how to report domestic abuse 3

women with disabilities: how to identify abuse and get help

anxiety: coping mechanisms pdf

healing from domestic abuse pdf

surviving domestic abuse pdf

domestic abuse: survivors handbook pdf

identifying and coping with emotional abuse

#anon #tw abuse #tw domestic abuse #tw violence #tw domestic violence

23 notes · View notes

charlywrites · 2 years

Text

Requested by anon

Request; Can i requests a sergio perez? Where it's their children's first race.

Warnings; a bunch of spanish words but they honestly don’t require a translation <3

Note: I enjoyed writing for Checo so much omg

✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩

When you first met Sergio, years ago, he was racing for Force India and you were simply a Formula One enjoyer who attended a Grand Prix and got lucky enough to encounter a bunch of drivers.

You weren’t necessarily a Force India fan but you liked Sergio’s driving and took the opportunity to get a picture with him- the day after, you accidentally encountered each other in the city’s streets and he asked if he could buy you a coffee or tea.

From then on, you always kept in touch and started dating only a few weeks later. While it wasn’t really serious for the first few weeks as Sergio would travel a lot for the races, it changed when he asked you to move in with him.

And here you were now, years later, going to attend your and Sergio’s daughter first race. It didn’t take long for your child to take after Sergio and develop a passion for racing. She was her dad number one fan and wanted to be like him later.

When your daughter turned five, Sergio and you found one of the best karting club for her and signed her up there. You would never forget how ecstatic she was when you told her she was going to race too.

Today was her first ever race, she had been talking about it all week but sadly Sergio wasn’t going to be able to attend the race as his busy schedule didn’t allow him to leave for the occasion.

At least, that’s what he told you and it broke your heart knowing how much he wanted to attend your daughter’s race. You promised you’d record the whole thing so he’d have a way to watch it but the two of you knew it wasn’t the same as being there.

You looked from afar your daughter listening to her instructor before the race would start when you felt arms gently wrapping around your waist and a chin resting on your shoulder, “ hola, mi amor.”

You would have broke the surprising embrace before hearing his voice if you hadn’t recognized Sergio’s perfume right away,“ Sergio? I thought you couldn’t make it in time for the race.”

“ I thought so too but after insisting, they rescheduled some stuff to give me the day off.”

“ Why didn’t you tell me when you called earlier?”

Sergio let out a chuckle before cupping your cheeks and kissing you, “ I wanted to surprise the both of you.”

“ She’s going to be thrilled to see you here!” you smiled, excited just by imagining your daughter’s reaction, you knew how disappointed she was that her dad couldn’t attend her first race, “ we should go wish her a good race before it starts.”

Sergio and you didn’t even get to your daughter that she recognized her dad, it didn’t take more than a couple of seconds for her to jump in her dad’s arms, “ papá you came to my race!”

“ I wasn’t going to miss my champ’s first race!”

“ You’re the best, papá! I’ll win for you and mamá!”

Sergio softly smiled, kissing his daughter’s forehead, “ i want you to enjoy the race and have fun, you’ll have plenty of time to win in the future.”

Your daughter vigorously nodded her head, even more excited than she had been until now since she now had her dad to support her. Sergio and you stayed with your daughter until she was called by her instructor to get ready for the race, “ bye mamá, bye papá, I love you!”

Sergio and you exchanged a smile, she was already making the two of you so proud. Getting back to the stand where you had previously been, you sat together and waited for the karting race to begin.

“ She’s growing up so much.”

You smiled at his words, it was hard to believe she was already five years old when it felt like she was born yesterday, “ the more she’s growing up and the more she’s looking like you.”

“ You think so?”

“ Baby, she has a passion for racing, wants to be a Formula 1 driver and wants to be signed at Red Bull.”

Sergio laughed as you told him about your daughter’s dreams, she definitely was her dad’s daughter, “ what can I say she’s my child.”

“ She’s literally a mini you.”

#sergio perez x reader #sergio perez imagine #x reader #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #red bull f1 #request

359 notes · View notes

lovesosweeet · 5 months

Text

better left unsaid // cth

chapter thirty four

in which orion has leukemia, and calum doesn’t know.

calum hood x fem!oc

read other chapters

october 14, 2018 san diego, california orion

Going to chemo is a soul-emptying experience. Macy, Emelia, and Ashton all send me luck, but the more texts I receive in support, the worse I feel about it all. The more I wish I had Cal here, supporting me, whether simply via text or in person, holding my hand, offering me bags to throw up in… all of the gross shit.

The Calum I love would be there through it all, but I pushed him away. I didn’t want him to see this. I still don’t want him to, but at the same time, I know my life would feel easier. His would feel way harder, and that’s what I’m trying to ameliorate.

I know now they are making up the handful of shows they missed after I threw everything off course, and then they’re flying to Europe for that leg of the tour. I’m glad they’re back on track, but it’s a little bittersweet knowing they’re off to visit the continent where I met Calum without me. That’s the leg of the tour I know Calum would’ve wanted me on, if only for a few days. We could have visited with Paula, Ilse, Marta, Giuseppe, Francesca… all of my friends from that part of the world.

I haven’t even told them the latest news. I haven’t even told them I’m dying.

I know they deserve to know, I just don’t know how to tell them, so I haven’t told them.

Today is my second to last round of chemo for this cycle, and then we get to analyze how well everything has been working to determine what’s next. I feel nervous, even though I know that there’s nothing I can do to change my fate. Everything is in my body’s hands.

I’m caught off guard when KayKay calls me as I sit in the treatment room, but I pick it up quickly. She and I have no bad blood, only awkwardness. I’m not doing anything except sitting here, so I might as well fill the silence with something.

“Hi?” I answer, somewhat cautionary in my greeting.

“Orion! Oh my god, I’m so glad you picked up,” Kay says, sounding far too relieved. Did she really think I wouldn’t pick up?

“What’s up?” I ask. There’s an IV inserted into my arm and I’m slated to be here for hours. I have nothing but time.

“Nothing, actually,” she says, laughing slightly. “Just wanted to check in. Everyone has been so worried, but nobody thought you’d pick up, so no one thought reaching out was a good idea, but we’re all just kinda sitting here waiting on an update, so I’m glad you answered. Ash says you haven’t been answering his texts.”

I sigh. “Kay…”

She quickly corrects her course. “Orion, seriously, all of us are worried. Please, please don’t shut us all out. Just let us know how you’re doing, or at least me, since you’re already talking to me. I promise: we won’t show up without your permission or anything, we just want updates.”

“Kay, I just don’t want anything getting back to Cal. I don’t want him to worry about me.”

“Orion, you know good and well that boy is going to worry about you forever.”

I know she wants to say he will worry about me until I die, but I can’t bring myself to correct her.

“Shit’s fine,” I say with a sigh. “I am at the hospital now for a chemo appointment.”

“Do you need anything? Company? Food? A stupid joke?”

I laugh. “Kay, I pushed y’all away because everything is covered. I’ll be…” I want to say I’ll be fine, but she and I both know that’s far from the truth. “I’ll be as good as anyone could expect. Don’t worry about me.”

She sighs and her breath catches.

“Kaitlin, I swear,” I threaten. “Do not waste time on me. Please don’t cry. Focus on important shit. Not me. Okay?”

KayKay takes a few deep breaths. “Orion, I don’t understand how you can’t seem to comprehend that you are important. You’re important to all of us.”

I breathe in and out a few times, trying to calm my body in its response to her words. “Kay, don’t worry about me. In your guys’ lives, I’ve just been a blip. Focus on everything else. There’s so much other stuff to have faith in.”

“Orion Moss, you know damn well that you have not just been a blip. You are our best friend and we fucking love you. If things are going well, we want to know. If they aren’t, we want to know. And if you don’t believe me when I say ‘we’ then at least believe that I want to know.”

I sigh. “Fine. No news. I still feel like shit and I have an appointment in a few weeks to see how well the chemo is working, that’s it, I promise.”

“Thank you for sharing with the class,” Kay says, chuckling quietly, and it makes me laugh too. “Are you down in San Diego now?”

“Yeah, we transferred my care here to make it easier.”

“Okay, well, I’m in LA for now and will be joining the boys for the last week of the tour. If you need anything or just want company, I’m more than happy to drive down to see you. Just because you’re shutting Calum out doesn’t mean you should shut all of us out.”

Yes it does, I think. Anything I tell to any of them they’ll tell Calum.

“I just don’t want him to spend his life worrying about me,” I tell her quietly. I don’t know why, but for some reason now I feel weird talking about this in semi-public.

KayKay sighs into her phone. “I know, but just because you don’t want him to doesn’t mean he won’t.”

I know she’s right, so I don’t reply. We’re going in circles I feel like, since we’ve already basically said what we just said.

“Can I say something that might make you feel bad but I think you need to hear?” She continues.

I sigh, feeling like I don’t really have a choice even though she’s asking for my permission. “Sure.”

“I think he’s worrying more now that you’re not together than he would if you didn’t break up with him. He has no idea how you’re doing, so he’s not only going through the breakup but he’s also panicking about you.”

What she’s saying is true. However, I tried to think of the bigger picture when I made my choice. I know it might suck now, but he’ll have had more time to get over me by the time I die so he will hopefully not be as upset when I die. Hopefully. I need it to happen that way, otherwise all of this pain will just be… a waste.

“He’s also fucking pissed at Ashton and the band dynamic is so weird now.”

“I wish he didn’t care so much about that. Ashton didn’t do anything wrong.” It hurts to know that I drove a rift between Calum and his best friend. They’re so close and will be in close quarters for another month or so, so knowing that they’re not even on speaking terms sounds like a miserable time for everyone involved. I hate that it’s my fault, which is just another reason to feel horrible.

“I know, me, too.”

“Can you imagine if Ash had gone to him to tell him?” I ask.

“There wouldn’t have been a tour at all,” KayKay says through soft laughter.

I nod even though she can’t see me. “Exactly.”

“You know, no one is mad at you. Just in case you had any doubts. We’re really all just hoping you’re okay and wish you’d reach out, but we all understand why you haven’t.”

I didn’t want to know, but it is nice to know at least that no one hates me. I wouldn’t blame them if they did. The knowledge wouldn’t change anything, so that’s why it wasn’t on my list of things to ask Kay.

“He won’t tell anyone, but Cal would take you back in a heartbeat if you just called and asked.”

“That’s not going to happen,” I quickly say. It’s not. It can’t happen. It hurts too much to think of Calum being by my side while I wither away into a shell of a human.

“O, you’re both miserable. I don’t think this is the way.”

“It is the way. If this is all we’re going to talk about I think we should stop talking. I can’t talk about it.”

“I hate how stubborn you are, but I miss you, so I’ll oblige.” She sounds defeated, but hearing her say she misses me hurts. I miss everyone so much. Calum the most, by default, and Ashton and Crystal, since they’re who I spent the most time with over the past two years, but I can’t bring myself to act like things are normal with any of them.

“I miss you, too, Kay, but just don’t want to complicate things for anybody.”

“Orion, there’s nothing complicated about any of this. We all love and miss you, end of.” She sighs. “But, you don’t want to talk anymore about that, so let me fill you in on everything else going on in my life!”

Kay spends the next thirty minutes filling me in on her latest work projects, how she and Ashton are doing, and her plans for when she joins them on the Europe leg of tour, and it’s nice to pretend things are normal for a few minutes. She lets me go when she gets a work email that has “URGENT” in the subject line and tells me that I am welcome to call her any time I’m bored.

I feel empty and numb and weak, both physically and emotionally. I spend the rest of my appointment switching back and forth between reading Tweets about 5SOS and rereading Catcher in the Rye for the millionth time. When the tech finally disconnects my IV for the day, she smiles at me.

“Just one more!” She sounds so cheery, so optimistic. I can’t imagine why. Even if the chemo ‘works,’ my life won’t go on for all that long. I’m limited to a few years if things go well. Months, maybe even just weeks, if they don’t.

“Hurray,” I say back, without any enthusiasm whatsoever.

I walk out of the building and find Mom waiting for me in her car. She’s also excited about this cycle being almost over and promises that next week we can go get milkshakes after the appointment to celebrate. Once the cycle is over, I can find out if I have some time to live a normal life for a while, but if not, I’m not really sure what’s next.

Just like I shut everyone else out of my life, I shut those thoughts out of my head. Right now, it’s just about facing what’s in front of me.