#screw those science nerds

[doctor-passerine]

This doesn’t have anything to do with the AU ill just reblog on main or something. I just wanted to post it here so have a jack bright on his way to cause some chaos

#scp containment breach #scp fandom #scp foundation #scp shitposting #scp fanart #scp 963 #jack bright #dr bright #dr jack bright #secure contain protect #digital art #the things doctor bright is not allowed to do at the foundation #the personification of being immortal with ADHD #genderfluid #does he count as genderfluid #whatever #its tumblr #everything goes on this hellsite #yo momma so fat 096 didn’t look at her #screw those science nerds

[cilil]

𝓐𝓝 ~ For my 6666th post, I decided to compile an Angbang appreciation post to (hopefully) spread some joy and positivity for one of my favorite ships of all time. I tried my best to present the things that I love about Angbang in a broad and open manner, so that it encompasses all sorts of takes and welcomes as many fellow Angbangers as possible.

As I will also say at the end of this: You're cordially invited and welcome to share what you love about this ship and/or add aspects I haven't mentioned in this post. Just keep it positive!

Melkor. Ah Melkor, the man himself, the myth, the legend, a prime example for chaotic evil and our resident devil. Throughout the Silmarillion, as well as Tolkien's other writings, Melkor is busy hating pretty much everyone... except Mairon, it seems. He trusts him enough to let him run entire fortresses and taught him a lot of dark magic, which, as mundane as it may seem, is a lot more productive and friendly than Melkor has been to other people, including those who serve him. I - and I think many other Angbang shippers as well - love the idea that there is this one person in the world whom he actually likes and appreciates.

Mairon. The eponymous Lord of the Rings and general nuisance, enough to make Eru himself intervene twice, the Deceiver, professional pretty boy and peerless perfectionist. No other Maia has come close to causing as much drama, and something tells me Melkor will be proud once he hears about the Second and Third Age shenanigans. Mairon seems to hate everyone as well... except Melkor, with whom you could argue he might be a little obsessed. He's both frightening and hilarious and, for better or for worse, an icon both in-universe and outside.

Great ship name. Angbang is both a handy and memorable ship name and an amazing pun. It sure is a funny coincidence that my (to date) favorite ship all time also has my (maybe forever) favorite ship name of all time. And if that wasn't enough: If you take Morgoth x Sauron as the basis, their ship name is Moron which... yeah. No explanation needed. The stars aligned with this one.

Opposites attract. There are fundamental differences between Melkor and Mairon as characters, such as the chaos vs. order dynamic (as @maironite also pointed out), their goals - Melkor wanted to destroy while Mairon was more interested in getting things to run smoothly, though both were keen on enforcing their will - and their approach to handling situations they find themselves in - whereas Melkor is often impulsive, Mairon is more patient and calculating. You can also create an ice vs. fire dynamic, though they share the fire element (Melkor used to be the Vala of Fire and Ice and is still seen using these two elements a lot). It gives them some additional friction and spice to work with.

Similarities. Aside from their differences creating chemistry, Melkor and Mairon also share a few similarities and things they can bond over to balance whatever conflicts might arise. Both seem dissatisfied with the plans of Eru and the Valar, want to create whatever they wish to create without rules being imposed on them, have a questionable moral compass at best, like screwing people over and have obsessive tendencies (more on that later). I like to think that they can nerd out about about science and magic for hours, which likely became the foundation of their relationship in the first place, and that they also engaged in deep and challenging conversations that satisfied both of them in ways other conversation partners hadn't.

The Fall. We love fallen angels and a good corruption arc. Mairon's origins as a respected member of Aulë's household - who is still remembered for his skill despite his dark deeds - and moments where he could have potentially been redeemed are documented in the Silmarillion and the subject of many interesting discussions and fanworks. However, while less pronounced and presented as far less likely in the narrative, the same applies to Melkor. Even he started out as "good" and his motives, at least early on, are also understandable: He was dissatisfied with his inability to create freely and completely on his own. You could even say he's a bit of a failed artist which... is painfully relatable. As much pain and grief as both of them have caused, it's also tragic that they couldn't overcome their pride and choose a better path, for the sake of others as well as their own, and that Melkor ended up dragging Mairon down with him; both of them would have had the ability to do truly great things if this hadn't happened.

Philosophical aspects. To read Melkor and Mairon as a couple and their fates as a tragic love story creates interesting parallels with other star-crossed lovers in Tolkien's legendarium and raises fascinating philosophical questions. Can evil love? Can love be evil? Could love have been their road to redemption or was it - at least on Mairon's part - his doom? If I had to summarize my personal take on this, I would say that Melkor unwillingly corrupted love by genuinely being in love.

If you'd like to read a (more concise) take on this aspect which also touches on some other things mentioned in this post, I highly recommend this thread by @naruthandir.

There are just so many things you can read into this relationship and themes to explore, which I appreciate so much. It never gets boring and I always find new ideas to have fun with.

Power dynamics. Now, let me preface this by saying that I'm aware that some of you prefer it one way, some of you prefer it the other way, some see the Vala/Maia power imbalance as inherently unhealthy and like to take that as a central theme of their relationship and some prefer to interpret these two has having a fairly equal relationship. However, I'm not here to debate which take is "right" or "better", nor do I have any interest to. I think that, whichever way you choose, it's an interesting concept to play around with. Did you know that Estë used to be a Maia? I honestly think it would be cool if she still was, just to bridge the divide between Valar and Maiar a bit more. Nevertheless, I think we can all agree that especially Melkor isn't interested in what other Valar think is proper or appropriate and that Mairon, ambitious as he is, probably also likes having a Valarin partner/spouse. It's also interesting as a contrast to Melkor's usual arrogance and thinking that he's above everyone, and if you need something to prove that he wouldn't categorically say no to being with a Maia, look no further than his attempt at (forcibly) marrying Arien in other versions of the story.

Kink. Well, we've talked about power dynamics already, so let's not beat around the bush. We have some hot evil gay sex on our hands here. Super freaky too, if that's your thing. This ship is, in my opinion, excellent for BDSM and was what allowed me to discover and enjoy kink for the first time (though, again, none of this is a must if you prefer other takes). You can play with their existing power dynamic, subvert it, have them live out their sadistic urges, have them do elaborate roleplays, make use of all the creepiness and weirdness of the Ainur, particularly evil ones... they even have a convenient dungeon in their basement! There's so much good and sexy Angbang smut out there and I'd like to take a quick moment to thank everyone who wrote these fics that inspired and entertained me for years - and will do so for years to come.

Queerness. There are a lot of gay ships in the Tolkien fandom and fandom in general, but I still feel like it's important to mention this aspect. In fact, if you'd allow me to share something personal: Angbang was my first contact with queer content and, while this may seem strange considering that I am a woman, it also started my journey to discover my own queerness and I will forever appreciate that (I suppose it was "femboy" Mairon in particular alongside Melkor being a raging bisexual disaster - just my headcanon, not trying to push this on anyone - that finally allowed me to break out of compulsive heterosexuality and heteronormativity). I don't know if anyone had similar experiences with Angbang, but, well, I thought if I'm making an Angbang appreciation post, this might just be the time to include it.

Obsession. Melkor is obsessed with all things bright and beautiful, and this might very well include Mairon. As far as I'm aware, him being a fire spirit like Arien and the Balrogs are is fanon, but he's at the very least associated with fire in canon (on that note: kudos to whoever came up with the "little flame" nickname, it's so cute). Meanwhile, Mairon loves power and, as mentioned above, is obsessed with Melkor and his legacy enough to not only continue what they started, but also create a religion all about him. I like to think that both of them are also very jealous, which certainly ended up being the doom of a few innocent bystanders. They're just angry and evil and insane together and it's endlessly entertaining to me.

Tolkien's accidental "evidence". This could probably be its own post (which I might do in the future, though I'd do some additional research for it), and I want to make it clear that I'm not trying to "prove" to you that Angbang is canon or anything like that, I just find it funny when canon gives me tidbits that I can use for my "agenda". First of all, there's the infamous seduction line that has singlehandedly spawned countless fanfics and most likely raised a few eyebrows:

"In the beginning of Arda Melkor seduced [Mairon] to his allegiance (...)" The Silmarillion

One of my personal favorites is also the fact that, in the Lay of Leithian, Mairon starts ranting about how cool Melkor is - after only briefly mentioning Lúthien - and gets mad at Beren and the others for not stanning his boyfriend master hard enough. To make sure everyone knows exactly how awesome Melkor is, he later made sure people pray to him and perform human sacrifices which, since even any positive effects it might have couldn't reach Melkor in the Void, was apparently just for shits and giggles and to troll some mortals. Now that is what I call commitment! There's also Melkor's trust in Mairon and his fire spirit kink, but I've mentioned that already.

Aesthetics. Spiky black armor is incredibly sexy. Then we have peak hell and hellfire aesthetics. We have crowns and rings. We have fallen angels and fire and ice, as mentioned above. And we have two incredibly hot (literally) angels kissing. You could make them fuck in an erupting volcano. It's just... yes.

To conclude: We love villains, we love dark lords, evil is fun!

What I discussed in this post is pretty much just everything I could think of, with my friends and fellow shippers giving me a few additional keywords to mention, so there's definitely more. I hope this post made some of you appreciate this ship as well, maybe sparked or rekindled some love for it, and I invite you to add on and/or share what you love about Angbang. However: I'm going to have to politely and respectfully ask you to remember that this is an appreciation and positivity post, so I don't want to see any negativity, complaints about the way other people enjoy this ship differently or shade. Time and place. Alright? Alright.

Love you!

"Whom do ye serve, Light or Mirk? Who is the maker of mightiest work? Who is the king of earthly kings, the greatest giver of gold and rings? Who is the master of the wide earth? Who despoiled them of their mirth, the vain Valar? Repeat your vows, Orcs of Bauglir! Do not bend your brows. Death to light, to law, to love; cursed be moon and stars above; may darkness everlasting old that waits outside in surges cold drown Manwë, Varda and the sun; may all is hatred be begun and all in evil ended be in the moaning of the endless Sea!" Lay of Leithian, Canto VIII

#angbang #melkor #morgoth #sauron #mairon #melkor x mairon #angbang appreciation #ainur #silmarillion #tolkien #cílil speaks #i love them

[thestagsheadsblog]

Seeing you again (Chapter 2)

Pairing: Robert “Bob” Floyd x Reader, Childhood Friends

Word Count: 1.6K

Chapter 1

Read on AO3

Chapter 2

The raucous noise of The Hard Deck faded away and was slowly drowned out by the sound of waves and sea birds the further you walked up the beach. You both held your shoes in your hands and Bob had rolled up the pant legs of his uniform to keep them clean. This late in the evening the sand was cool enough to walk on but still radiated a pleasant heat from the afternoon sun.

"Thanks for playing along back there," you murmured, still quite embarrassed. "Leave it to a sibling to bring up the most cringe memories of your past at the least opportune moment."

"It's okay, you gave middle school me a bit more street cred," he smiled. "As much street cred as a nerdy Catholic school kid in 00’s suburbia could get, anyway."

Back when you last knew each other, you never really thought of him as a ‘nerd’ or anything derogatory. He was smart and fun and yes, maybe a little scrawny and overly invested in the things that interested him but to you he was one of the coolest people you knew. Although, in retrospect, that may not be saying much since you absolutely were a nerd yourself, but just didn’t realize it at the time.

"Now the nerdy Catholic school kid is a fighter pilot...or weapons officer-?"

"Weapon systems officer," he shrugged, humble. "I sit in the backseat. I never had good enough eyesight to be a pilot."

"And here I thought your obsession with planes was just a phase," you nudged him with your shoulder, remembering his childhood bedroom strewn with model planes and every Lego set of an aircraft manufactured to date. You vividly recall climbing trees to retrieve any number of gliders you two got stuck in limbs after an over eager launch. "But I bet being a hotshot aviator gets you even more 'street cred' to your name at our age," you teased.

"Certainly more than making out with middle school girls in basements," he joked.

You busted out laughing. You had forgotten about the easy humor the two of you had when you were younger. You were pleased to note that neither of you had really grown out of your childlike playfulness.

"What is it that you do?" he asked as the water lapped up around your ankles.

"I just finished my PhD," you replied, relishing the impressed hum he gave. "And I just got a job at a start up here in San Diego."

"What was your PhD in?" he asked, legitimately interested. Some men found your accomplishments a bit intimidating, if not a complete turn-off, but Bob seemed to find them a plus.

"Chemical engineering. Not as exciting as being a fighter pilot but it pays the bills and I do actually enjoy it even if most people find the subject dull."

"Chemical engineer," Bob mused. "That actually makes a lot of sense."

"How so?"

"You were all about those science kits where you had to make stuff...usually something gooey that got stuck in the carpet," he laughed. "Or that thing where you make plastic bugs in an Easy Bake Oven..."

"Creepy Crawlers," you exclaimed. "I had completely forgotten about those!"

Bob shook his head with a smile. "Or the time your mom almost had to call poison control because we mixed bleach and ammonia when we were trying to create a 'magic potion'. Luckily the garage door was open otherwise we'd probably be dead."

You both stopped walking you were laughing so hard at your stupid childhood antics. Bob had to remove his glasses to wipe his eyes and you had to resist the urge to help him.

You collected yourselves and continued your walk, close enough that your hands kept brushing against each other's. "So, you go by Dr. Y/L/N then?" he asked with an impressed smirk.

"I suppose so, but not that kind of Doctor," you pointed out. "Don't ask me to save your life if you get sick or injured. You'll be screwed."

"I get it. I'm a Lieutenant in the Navy and I couldn't tie an anchor hitch if my life depended on it."

“Lieutenant Floyd,” you considered the sound of the words on your tongue. “Has a ring to it”

“So does Dr. Y/L/N,” he said right back. “Sounds like names we would have given ourselves while manning the fort.”

You smiled at the memories. “And we’d give Emily the rank of Private.”

“And she’d go crying to your mom,” he laughed.

“Who would make us call her General or something…”

You did a wide turn and started heading back down the beach to The Hard Deck before it gets too dark, updating each other on your respective families and where your lives took you after you moved away. Hearing his story, you were a bit sad that you didn't continue growing up together in the same town. You would have liked to have known teenaged Robbie and the young man who would join the Naval Academy and become known as Bob. Maybe he actually would have been your first kiss – maybe your first everything - had your family stuck around...but that alternate reality hadn’t happened, and you content yourself with meeting this new adult Robbie, an officer in the Navy, at the ripe old age of 29.

On the beach out back of The Hard Deck were sets of Adirondack chairs. You and Bob plopped down into a pair, neither of you particularly interested in going back into the bar which had become increasingly loud as the drunken revelry continued into the night.  After he explained the dynamics of the group of colleagues you had briefly met earlier, you fell into a comfortable silence, listening to the waves and watching the distant lights of shipping freighters coming into San Diego Port.

"I used to say the same thing," Bob said, seemingly out of nowhere.

"Say what?" you asked, not following.

"When some of the kids at my school would taunt me about whether I ever had a girlfriend or whatever," he divulged quietly. "I would tell them about you. Even after you moved. I had this whole thing about how we talked on AIM and went to the same summer camp. You’d write me letters..." he trailed off, embarrassed.

Your heart pounded rapidly at this innocent confession, so like your own secret he had learned earlier. Maybe there had been something there and you had just been too young to see it; a hint of something that could have sprung to life as you both entered adolescence but was cut down by your family's move.

You wondered whether it was too late to pursue it now.

"Robbie-" you began.

"Hey Choir Boy Bobby let's goooo!"

You both whipped around in your chairs to see the blonde pilot (Jake - as Bob had informed you) standing on the bar's deck, clearly intoxicated and clearly ready to call it a night. He was quickly joined by a few of the other pilots and your sister.

"What are you two doing out here?" Emily slurred over the laughter of the pilots wondering the same and voicing various salacious theories. "Forgive me Father for I have sinned!" one yelled in a high-pitched boyish voice to a chorus of even more hilarity.

"I gotta get these idiots back to base," Bob said, turning to you.

"Yeah, I have to get her into a cab too," you said as you watched your sister pulling on Jake's uniform lapels, belting out the lyrics to 'In the Navy'. 

You both ushered the raucous party to the parking lot where Bob tried his best to load as many of his colleagues into his car that would fit. "I'd give you two a ride home, but I'm kind of default DD with these guys-"

"Don't worry about it," you assured him. "We planned on taking a cab anyway."

Emily gave Bob a long drunken hug and began impatiently stumbling to the cab stand in front of The Hard Deck. "I have to get her-" you gave an exasperated sigh and made to follow Emily before she went into moving traffic, "it was so nice seeing you, Robbie!"

"You too. Goodnight, Dr. Y/L/N!" he smiled after you.

"Goodnight, Lt. Floyd!" you called over your shoulder.

You wrangled your sister toward a cab as Bob drove off with a car full of drunken pilots. You smiled to yourself. It wasn't exactly the night you expected to have, but it was so much better.

"You know, I didn't realize it at the time, but now that I think about it, Robbie's dad was a bit of a DILF, wasn't he?" Emily drunkenly mused.

"Get in the cab, Em," you sighed, opening the back door, thanking your lucky stars that Bob wasn't driving you home after all.

On the drive back to your shared apartment, Emily quickly fell asleep slumped against the passenger door. You had time to reminisce on your reunion with Bob. You were kicking yourself for not asking if he wanted to meet up again. You didn't even have his number...

Your phone chimed and you picked it up to see a notification from Messenger. A long dormant profile had sent you a message.

Hey, sorry about the chaos leaving with the guys. Meant to ask you if you want to hang out now that you are in San Diego. No worries if not. It was great seeing you!

You smiled like a 6th grade girl being asked to the dance by her secret crush and replied that you'd love to meet up.

Chapter 3

Tag List

@tipsykeen

@straightforwardly

#robert bob floyd #robert floyd #bob floyd #bob top gun #top gun maverick #top gun #robert bob floyd x reader #bill pullman is a DILF fight me #bob fic #bob floyd x reader #top gun fic #lewis pullman

[moraxdreams]

wanna go skateboard?

summary: scaramouche had a bad day. good thing he has some cool friends who will surely make his day better, right??  feat. scara, kazuha, albedo, and tighnari.

tw: modern au, drugs, albedo eating spiders, curse words.

words: 888

Things weren't supposed to be like this for him today, Scaramouche thought. 

Not only did he get into an argument with his sister, which caused those stupid angry tears to start falling from his eyes, making his mother give him that disgusting look of concern, but his skate park was way too crowded as well. He stood outside and watched as people walked all over his territory. An overly familiar glare set on his face. It seemed he hasn't spent all of his daily dose of rage just yet. If only he could beat all those people to a pulp and watch them scramble away in fear, he'd be a fulfilled man. 

He bit his lower lip and clenched his dark red skateboard so hard it felt as if it was going to break at any time, and it would if it wasn't for a gentle hand suddenly placed on his shoulder. He didn't even have to look at who it was when white locks appeared in his peripheral vision.

''You look like you're seconds away from murdering someone, scara.''

''Maybe i am'' he replied sarcastically, the glare never leaving his face. He wondered if he'd get wrinkles at old age for doing it so much. Nah, probably not. He's too pretty for that.

''What, don't tell me the great scaramouche is afraid of a few people'' kazuha teased. ''Me? Afraid?? As if! The more people, the more gaping mouths being amazed at my rad skills''

 

''Sure, sure. Show them your 'rad skills' then, instead of just glaring at them.'' kazuha said, moving on from the bluenette to the skate park. He wasn't nervous, he told himself, he wasn't! He let out a sigh and took a deep breath. Putting on his best mask of confidence and superiority, and he finally took off to the park as well.

All eyes were on him the second he set foot on the ground. They knew who he was. They were gonna scram even without the use of force, he thought as he looked around for his friend. He soon saw kazuha waving at him, sitting with Albedo, the nerd from the science department, and Tighnari, the best student in the biology department. Both were considered geniuses by all students, as well as the teachers, even if their 'ideas' could only be perceived as...quirky. Albedo, when asked about his goals for the future always responded with 'I wish to discover the truth of this world' and he always said it with such seriousness that people didn't bat an eye at it. Tighnari, when asked a similar question, would respond with 'My duty is to research and preserve the ecosystem'. however, only a few people knew their other, less serious side. for example, that albedo liked eating spiders, and tighnari would literally chomp on every mushroom that was in his vicinity.

As scaramouche approached the three, he could already smell the aroma of dope in the air.

''You're on it already? On second thought, of course you are''

Tighnari turned, smiling with red eyes ''Want some?''

''Shhh, listen... You can hear what the wind is saying'' kazuha cut in. Scaramouche could only roll his eyes and take the joint extended his way. Albedo looked at him with a frown, already stoned too and suddenly pointed at him ''I'll tell your mom, i'll tell that bitch exactly what's going on.''

''Shut the fuck up, our moms know each other you idiot, she’ll tell yours right after and then we’re both screwed.''

''You are grown-ass adults, why you are scared of your mothers is beyond me.'' Tighnari judged, as he always does. ''Oh, you don't know their moms. They're scary. i went to Albedo once for a project, and the cold gaze she sent my way still haunts my dreams at night.'' kazuha shivered at the memory ''But at least klee is nice.'' 

Albedo perked up at that. ''Klee?? Where's Klee??'' He started hiding everything he had in panic, afraid of his little sister seeing anything inappropriate, fiddling with the zippers of his bag as if he had forbidden knowledge in there. ''See, you broke the poor guy, apologise.'' Tighnari punched kazuhas shoulder, hard. So hard the Kaedehara toppled over Albedo, making him fall face first on the ground and fall down the ramp they were sitting at. In the last second, he caught scaramouche’s sleeve,

"Wha-OOF"

And even though he looked harmless, the fucker was strong, as he unconsciously pulled Scaramouche down with him. They plummeted 20 feet down before turling over one another and finally stopping. They continued to lay there for a few seconds longer. Albedo wasn't even moving. At this point, Scara started to think he got knocked out. The blunette turned his head towards the other two, who were laughing their asses off on top of the ramp like two high school girls finding out their friend embarrassed themselves in front of their crush. He glared at them so hard he was sure he’ll get wrinkles soon.

''im going to fucking kill you both. That is not a threat. That is a promise.''

At the end of the day, none of them actually did any skating.

a/n: hiii. i wrote this in like 20 minutes, so sorry if there are any mistakes. hope you enjoyed!

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin impact x reader #scaramouche #genshin scaramouche #albedo #genshin albedo #kazuha #kazuha kaedehara #genshin kazuha #tighnari #genshin tighnari #genshin impact tighnari #genshin impact scaramouche #genshin impact albedo #genshin impact kazuha #scaramouche x reader #wanderer x reader #albedo x reader #kazuha x reader #tighnari x reader #genshin fluff #genshin crack #they're high on naku weed fr #gold #genshin gold #rhinedottir #genshin rhinedottir #genshin impact headcanons #my writing

[watanabes-cum-dump]

Random HCs abt command but specifically Hassen and Nikola

Note: “Command” just sort of refers to the people who hand out missions. So Celica, Asimov, Nikola and Hassen

Okay okay so Nikola very obviously Slavic coded, I think Russian bc he’s immune to the cold lol like in Luna’s interlude he’s watching Lucia train in the snow in nothing but a SUIT. That out of the way

A friend suggested that Hassen is Pakistani American and honestly? I can get behind that. I do think he’s only half tho bc this guy is a white man 💀 I’m sorry but being raised in an orphanage did not help him.

Nobody in command can cook. Absolutely nobody. Except for Celica. Bc that girl can do everything

I also think that Celica can speak like five different languages. She’s just built like that

I think it’d be funny if Celica is trying to explain something and she just blanks and forgets how to explain it in all five languages.

Nikola gains an accent when he’s really angry. It’s like a scale the angrier he gets the more Russian he gets. (idk but personally I gain a weird Filipino accent when I’m frustrated does this happen to anyone else?) If anyone hears him yelling in Russian they better hide because Nikola does not yell

Oh yeah and on that, I don’t think Nikola yells. Yes he’s very menacing and scary and you know when he’s mad, but he never yells. And it’s because he has a nice, tight lid and control over his emotions. Basically you REALLY have to screw up in order for him to yell at you.

Hassen is scary for a different reason and that is that he’s super patient. When he’s mad he’s twice as a scary because once again, you have to really fuck up. He can tolerate A LOT but the scariest thing in the world is an angry Hassen because it’s probably very justifiable

I think this is somewhat in part to him actually being rather cunning. I think he can be quite manipulative as well and that’s where he gets the patience from

Asimov canonically having an attitude is kinda funny to me. Everyone else is stepping on eggshells around the president and commander but Asimov’s unhinged ass is out here like “Uh yeah, so here’s the thing; you’re fucking wrong”

I think the little nerd is feisty and he’s a a little smug about it because he knows that he’s usually right

I genuinely think Hassen and Nikola are friends. You can pry this from my cold dead hands but they’ve known each other forever and they are both the leaders of the Kurono hate club. They trust each other so much I just know it

Nikola has siblings and they’re all high ranking Kurono members

Nikola strikes me as a rich boy that was funnelled into politics and shady business by his parents. Idk he gives that vibe

Asimov has a sweet tooth. Maybe because it helps him stay awake idk.

Hassen keeps alcohol in his office. It’s not even like a nice wine or anything it’s just cheap beer

Asimov has a dark sense of humour. I just feel like he cracks some very out of pocket jokes sometimes

I know Hassen is good with kids it is written all over him

I like to think that surprisingly, Asimov is too. Hey, kids LOVE cool science he would be a neat baby sitter and they’d make one of those little baking sofa volcanoes or smth

Celica is not. She has no idea how to deal with the little suckers but they all like her anyways bc funny lady say funny words

I’m sorry but Nikola is last place here I don’t think he can deal with kids at all 💀 I feel like it could mostly be rooted in his guilt from helping Kurono get actual children to experiment on. Yeah he just cannot with children. He doesn’t hate them though

Anyways that was it for today’s episode of Kou’s Delusions hope you enjoyed it!

#kouryuu's shit #pgr #punishing gray Raven #pgr hassen #pgr nikola #pgr asimov #Pgr celica #Pgr NPCs

[mr2swap]

The "stinky" Larry

-Bro, are you serious? You've only been in my body a couple of days and you're already screwing? when was the last day did you take a shower? - The "stinky Larry" as we used to call him for his lack of hygiene has taken over my life and my body thanks to the failed experiment of a group of Nerds in the science fair of our university. Our entire fraternity was required to attend the college science fair it's not like any of us had submitted any projects but it was required plus there were a couple of cute girls on some kind of project that involved them being naked and we really had to see that.

After satisfying our curiosity by watching Whatever College Girls Have Tried To Do we decided to walk around to see if anything was interesting before heading home to party. Unfortunately, stupid Larry was struck by a science project with bright lights and some lightning bolts. The experiment was supposed to allow two people to talk telepathically while touching the glowing object.

Well, apparently the experiment failed. Or so I think maybe it was payback for all the pranks we played on the nerd fraternity, especially stupid Larry whose hobby was Finding "fun" ways to torment those skinny smart guys.

Larry thought it would be fun to try the experiment. And pretending it hadn't worked, which was pretty silly, wasn't one of Larry's best jokes. I knew that would get them in trouble but I decided to go along with Larry. We volunteered as test subjects for the demo and we both touched the object, it was amazing that the machine worked although it was kind of weird hearing Larry's thoughts in my head. Larry started pretending like nothing was happening and said to the nerdy kids "dude you have to change the batteries on this piece of shit because I think it's broken"

Everyone in front of the experiment started laughing And that didn't make the nerds very happy Especially because the science fair Jury was Just evaluating their project at this point well it seems like they paid attention to Larry because when they increased the intensity of the machine he could now see through Larry's eyes. From one moment to another the machine overloaded and caused the fuse to blow in the entire university And the whole room lost power.

However I and Larry were stuck in each other's bodies, at first, it was very strange to see my body in something other than a mirror move on its own, it was even more strange to have to pretend to be the stupid of the air while all this was resolved. His body is nothing more than a trash can filled with gallons of beer and double cheese pizzas.

Damn, I can barely stand the awful stench that comes from my fat sweaty armpits to also have to stand the strong smell of larry's lack of showers now that it's fucking my body up, and I've bought every deodorant they sell at Walmart trying to hide the smell that comes from larry's body but it is impossible the bad smell is still here!

And while I have to be the stinky party animal Larry he doesn't seem to give a shit about my life and my reputation, if I don't get back in my body soon Larry will also make my body fit into a dump like the one I have now, it's impossible don't get frustrated when I hear they're going to take away my stinker moniker to give it to larry who's in my body now, I think I should pay the nerds a quick visit to make sure they finish fixing their stupid machine before larry ruins my life

my patreon subscribers were able to read this story last year, if you want to read more of my bodyswap stories you can check out my patreon page to read more of my 100 exclusive posts and read them before everyone here on tumblr.

#bodyswap #body swap #male body swap #body switch

[episodicnostalgia]

Spider-man: The Animated Series, 104 (Feb. 18, 1995) - “Doctor Octopus: Armed and Dangerous”

The Breakdown

Good news, folks! Pete is FINALLY gonna get some action with Felicia Hardy.  The last time he tried to make a move he got cock-blocked by a Spider Slayer (we’ve ALL been  there), but thankfully the last of those have been destroyed, so it's safe to say nothing's gonna get in the way this time.  Anyways, just as Peter shows up at Felicia’s massive family mansion, he gets immediately cock-blocked by Dr. Octopus, who we are now meeting for the first time.  The good Doctor proceeds to kidnap Felicia Hardy because he wants revenge on her mom.  We discover that, Mrs. (Anastasia) Hardy once provided funding to one Dr. Otto Octavius, who was trying to create a cold fusion generator; but his progress was too slow, so she cut him off.  Unable to continue his work safely, Otto followed the only sensible course of action left to him, and continued his work UNsafely.  Shockingly, this resulted in an explosion that turned him into a supervillain instead of killing him.  If you’re an actual person who has willingly chosen to read this blog entry about an old Spider-man cartoon, then you probably don’t need me to explain who Doctor Octopus is; but just in case you do, he’s basically got cybernetic tentacles grafted onto his spine now, and he didn’t before.

J. Jonah Jameson is a friend of the Hardy’s, and gets involved after being hand picked by Doc Ock to deliver the ransom. Sadly, the drop goes south when Peter butts in as Spider-man, and gets his ass handed to him. To make matters worse, Octavius takes Jonah captive, meaning double the ransom for double the hostages. Feeling a bit guilty for his royal screw up, Peter offers to deliver the next ransom payment without any of that superhero nonsense.  This second attempt goes pretty smoothly until the Doc refuses to let Felicia and Jonah go free, since he’s now demanding more money (a good financier is hard to find).  Everyone knows that two hostages is company, but three’s a crowd, so Dr. Octopus opts to violently launch Peter through an open window (and presumably to his death).  Thankfully this allows him time to change into Spider-man so he can save the day, although not without incident (there’s a whole thing with a rocket that almost incinerates Felicia and JJ, but don’t worry it all works out).

The Verdict

Another enjoyable romp that faithfully re-introduces one of Spider-man’s more prominent rogues.  There’s nothing about this interpretation of Doc Ock’s origin that I actively dislike, although I do find it a little too convenient how he’s independently tied to both the Hardy’s AND Peter Parker (check my Additional Observations below for more on that).  Where this episode really shines is the action sequences, which are well animated, and deftly capture Spidey’s smooth acrobatic movements.  In fact, the animation is so good that future octopus-centric episodes would come to reuse much of it as a cost cutting measure (a practice that this series would gain a reputation for). 

3 stars (out of 5)

Additional Observations

Dr. Octopus joins The Lizard as the second villain on this show who has pre-existing ties to Peter’s personal life.  In the comics most of Spidey’s initial villain roster were comprised of individuals who didn’t know Peter at all (or at least not until after they’d crossed paths with him as Spider-man), with the most notable exception being the green goblin.  Even as a kid I always preferred it that way: A) Because it always seemed a bit more probable, and I was a nerd who cared about such things. B) It made the exceptions to that rule a bit more meaningful.  Oh well, this is a kids show after all, and I can appreciate that the writers needed to take some story-telling shortcuts to accommodate the show’s runtime.

Young Peter's history with Octavius: We’re shown that Otto Octavius once ran a science camp that Peter attended as a boy.  There, Octavius encouraged Peter in his own scientific pursuits, after the other kids tease him for causing a small chemical explosion.  It’s nice to see young people being mentored in the sciences, but I find Otto Octavius’ inspirational advice somewhat dubious. Otto states, verbatim: “Their laughter is meaningless. Science is the important thing, it justifies ALL that we do in its service,” which is quite a concerning statement coming from a guy with a German accent.  I might otherwise be inclined to argue that the writers had intended for this to demonstrate how his ethics were always questionable, but the scene plays out to warm inspirational music. Also, in the VERY next line Peter wonders aloud “What could have changed him?”  Um.  I dunno Pete, it kinda seems like his current actions and behaviour are all consistent with his previously established worldview, and you just overlooked it because he was being nice to you during an emotionally fragile time in your life. 

Also, if you’re going to give children access to potentially dangerous chemical compounds (which I would advocate against, but that’s just me), the proper use of PPE should probably be more strongly enforced. 

Oh, and don’t worry folks, Felicia is still down to give Peter another chance at that date.  Pete’s wallcrawling typically gets in the way of his love life, so it’s always nice when he gets an occasional win.

Although, you may be wondering what has become of Mary Jane who was introduced triumphantly in the final moments of the previous episode.  All I can say is that she’s not here this week, nor were the writers interested in addressing that subplot, but then I guess contending with metallic-tentacle-wielding psychopaths is probably a higher priority. At any rate, believe MJ be back with us next episode.

#spiderman the animated series #season 1: origins & intros #Doctor Octopus: Armed and Dangerous #cartoon review #retro review #spiderman tas #spiderman #doctor octopus #otto octavius #90s tv series #90s tv shows #90s tv #animated series #90s cartoons #saturday morning cartoons #felicia hardy #star trek tng #j jonah jameson #episodic nostalgia

[cb97percent]

「Screw It」 · Chapter 2

HIS SECOND THOUGHTS ➥ Chris is supposed to 'let loose' at the biannual depravity festival a.k.a the Sigma Kappa mixer.

➥ The author chooses not to issue tags for everything that takes place in this work to preserve some element of surprise where applicable. By continuing, you accept to proceed at your own risk. Read full disclaimer here.

➥ Installment of The Red Lights Chronicles

⚠ — Discussions of virginity (see masterlist for more)

“How the fuck is everyone so natural at this?” Chris quickly scanned the large room, his face contorted in mild shock.

The entire place was buzzing with laughter and varying levels of sleaziness. People talking to one another way too closely, dancing a bit too intimately, licking salt off each other’s necks and what have you…

Then you had the Holmes-Watson duo at the secluded corner of the bar, looking way too serious like they were discussing politics over brandy in the late 1800s.

“Did you notice how the guys are exchanging their dick game testimonials?”

“WHAT?! No?”

“That’s because they don’t!” Jisung slid another shot glass towards his friend and raised his for a toast, “Everyone’s just following their instincts, my man. It’s called thinking with your dick.”

It was frustratingly easy to tell someone (not) to do something, wasn’t it? Oh, don’t worry about it. Change your perspective. Don’t let it get to you. Turn a blind eye. Don’t be depressed. 

Actually doing it, though? Goddamn monk patience right there.

It wasn’t like Chris was incapable of assigning the driver’s seat to his reproductive parts. If anything, his mind was way too preoccupied with it, but strictly when he was alone rather than in public functions like this. A force of habit to be ‘proper’. Every time he was about to get physical with someone, that same footage installed itself in his jumbotron inner-mind theater like a cruel foreshadowing of what was about to go down. 

Getting scarred once isn’t enough? Try the latest Christopheresque methods of self-torture for a chance to win a gift card!

In conclusion, no, he couldn’t figure out a way to ‘not let it get to him’.

He was trying, and god fucking knows he wanted to remove that bothersome splinter buried six feet under his façade, but something always seemed to conveniently get in the way.

This one’s too chatty. That one’s on TikTok. This one thinks it’s okay to say ‘irregardless’. That one wears too much lime green.

As if any of that was fundamentally important for sexual chemistry. But he couldn’t help it. 

The more time passed by, the bigger his inadequacy complex grew since he wasn’t able to, quote, ‘stack up those XP points when he could.’ Now it seemed too late like he missed some important deadline, and the whole thing was a piece of gum stuck to his shoes, continuously faltering him and making cringeworthy noises when he walked.

You. Suck. You. Suck. You. Suck.

Maybe pursuing doctoral education was just a massive overcompensation on his part, who knows? 

“It’s not rocket science, man, just…” Jisung mimed something that was supposed to be his soul leaving his body, “Let loose.”

“Let… loose,” Chris echoed his words while zoning out, but his mind was simply not cooperating with him to be present, “Shit! I needed to revise my syllabus.”

“My god you’re a nerd,” Jisung looked at him in utter disbelief, then sought help from Minho behind the bar, “Ares package. Make it two.”

While ten shots of Wet Pussies were being prepared, he examined Chris’ distracted face. Channie boy was like this for as long as Jisung knew the guy. Stubborn. Headstrong. Latching onto everything he could find to repair his pride. Of course it didn’t mean shit to be a virgin regardless of where you were in the adult timeline, but instead of admitting how much it was bothering him, Chris was pretending to be at peace with it. That was the frustrating part. And if he weren’t spectacularly failing at it, Jisung wouldn’t even consider dragging his ass to every social gathering he could find, but simply talking to the man did not seem to be working anymore. This bootleg immersion therapy was his last resort before he brought up the alternative of escorts again and risked getting punched in the face.

Or worse, another seminar on the ethics of sex work.

“Stop sabotaging yourself,” Jisung slapped him on the shoulder, “Just enjoy the moment for once.”

Why, I’d love to see a step-by-step demonstration of that, Chris wanted to loudly roll his eyes but pumped the brakes at the last second. He wasn’t even mad at Jisung. He wasn’t mad at anyone actually. The only person he loathed with a burning passion was himself for making a huge deal out of something that was supposed to be so damn trivial. He raised his shot for a silent toast and downed all five back to back to take all the residual edge off.

He didn’t want to fucking think anymore.

“She seems cool,” Jisung nodded towards a girl surrounded by what looked like the distant cousins of the Kardashians.

“I don’t think so,” Chris immediately protested, “Looks like she would livetweet it.”

“How about her?”

“GOD no. Too much Slytherin energy.”

“How is that even—?”

“Not the Lestrange kind. Pass,” Chris leveraged Jisung’s one weakness, “You know what, I thi—”

“Fucking stop overthinking this, or I’m gonna risk it all and slap the shit out of you,” he held onto Chris’ broad as fuck shoulders and harshly shook him, “Tonight we’re letting loose. Say it, what are we gonna do?”

“Let–Let loose.”

“With feeling.”

“Let loose.”

“DIG DEEP!”

“LET LOOSE!”

“Can I be a part of that?”

The duo was startled to death when they heard an unfamiliar voice next to them, not to mention right in the middle of a mortifying pep talk. The commandments of Wingmanism dictated doing the preliminary eliminations on behalf of your bro, immediately prompting Jisung to turn on his radar.

Looks? Check. Locked phone? Check. Lack of lime green? Check. 

Without giving Chris the chance to make a dumbass argument, he approved of this candidate and nudged the prospective coupling of the night towards the couch. When he turned to the bar again, he heaved a huge sigh as if he had just put the kids to bed.

“Still trying to get him laid?” Minho asked with a faded sneer.

“I’m gonna die with my eyes open if I depart this world without seeing it,” Jisung hyperbolically gestured, but one look at the gorgeous cheekbones in front of him, and his whole entire personality changed, “But more importantly, whatchu doing later tonight?”

“Damn, they don’t do pleasantries where you’re from?”

“Come on, you like me,” he leaned forward, the smile on his face impossible not to reciprocate, “Why do you drag me around so much? I’m obviously simping for you.”

“You realize I’m holding a sharp object.”

“That’s your version of batting eyelashes. Everybody knows that.”

As much as he wanted to keep the psychotically stoic mask, something about the quokka dude was just plain irresistible. Careful not to give a hundred percent of what he wanted, Minho let out a snort and darted his eyes away.

“Ask me again in two hours and we’ll see.”

Jisung triumphantly slammed his hand on the bar top, scaring the shit out of his porcelain prince, then disappeared into the crowd to mingle with some of his friends.

Meanwhile on the blue corner, Chris was midway through one of the most intense mental statistics of his life.

The girl in front of him was a total ten. He knew a couple of guys who would murder him in cold blood just to get with someone like her. One needed to have inoperable astigmatism not to notice she was encouraging him to… well, let loose. Her body language was clearly indicative of willingness. Touching his arm, playing with her hair, laughing at a genuinely unfunny joke—if he made a move now, she would leave with him. 

Ergo, p < 0.05. Possibility of score: 97%.

“Do you think we can take this somewhere… more private?” the nameless girl finally brought it up herself when Chris failed to mention anything remotely evocative of sex. It was a simple yes or no question, but he was choking harder than B-Rabbit in 8 Mile.

She was objectively so damn hot with the kind of body you would brag about in locker rooms. That was supposed to be his focal point, but he was having trouble focusing on her words, let alone being turned on. All he could think about was how this conversation couldn’t be any more boring, and he had endured a finance lecture once. Nothing was ever going to come out of bedding this girl tonight. Even her perfume smelled like the looming regret of the morning after. 

There had to be something fundamentally wrong with him at this point.

Uh oh, do something. She’s getting closer, DO SOMETHING!

“OKAY, I’m gonna go,” he jumped to his feet, giving no fucks about providing a reasonable explanation, and almost booked it towards the front door.

“Chris?” Jisung called out after him with slight concern, but Chris had half a mind to set fire to this place. Everything, everyone, all of it was suddenly too much.

“Later, bro.”

Only when he reached the safe bubble of his home did his heartbeat slow down to a normal rhythm, letting him heave a half-relieved half-disappointed sigh behind that closed door. Shower was the least of his priorities at that moment—he went straight to his room, got naked, threw himself to his bed, and started scrolling through his phone to find something to jerk off and sleep.

Art, art, gif, gif, art, text post, incorrect quote, gif, gif, art…

Then…

bassboostedjiscake reblogged: Closeted sluts living under a rock, check out my girl. Creaming guaranteed 🍦

Jisung was the horniest guy he knew, so if he dropped this on Chris’ dashboard, it must have been at least worth taking a look. He clicked on the profile thinking he was going to be greeted by Jisung’s newest favorite ‘adult content creator’ posting semi-nudes, however—

🌶️Oni @scovillescale I like pizza. And creating sexy universes.

Sexy… universes? 

The fuck did that even mean?

After scrolling through a bunch of Q&A posts, he got to the cream of the crop. Technically, yes, this was an adult content creator, but not in the format he was used to. Finally noticing what he was looking at, Chris couldn’t contain the scream bubbling up in his throat.

“This is goddamn 2D porn!”

If it weren’t for the fact that he was bored and horny that one night, he probably wouldn’t have been at this exact part of the Internet, but he was, and for a man who thought animated porn was high art, this blog was a fucking gold mine. 

His worlds had collided.

Shortly after, he found himself deep into the rabbit hole of this Oni person’s body of work. Artwork being pretty was one thing, but the story? So captivating that he couldn’t put his phone down.

“BUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?!”

The last time he startled himself with his own voice was probably when he was reading one of those original choose your own adventure books. He stayed up till 3 a.m. binging one story, completely forgetting to jerk off until the very last sex scene, which depicted the female lead riding her love interest at the back of a car while choking him. The orgasm he had to that?

Fucking sublime.

Once sufficient blood started flowing to his brain again, he immediately hit follow, then fervently typed a message.

Anonymous asked: HOLY SHIT I mean it as the highest compliment possible, but I came so hard reading this. Your style is awesome and you got an instant fan. Can I be your 🍍 anon?

He didn’t even think twice before hitting Ask with the orgasm high, but all of a sudden, he remembered Jisung’s wording in that godforsaken reblog.

Closeted sluts living under a rock, check out my girl. 

My girl.

So he had just told a woman at three in the morning that he masturbated to a story she created and that he came so harfwnekjfnwfnw THAT WAS SO FUCKING INAPPROPRIATE!

Chris wanted his bed to swallow him whole, beside himself with how mortified he was. He only meant to convey his admiration, completely skipping over the fact that he wasn’t talking to one of his online bros. God, the disrespect… There was no way to edit this goddamn digital owl, let alone delete it before this turning-sex-into-art goddess saw that.

His fast-forwarded panic monologue was cut short barely a minute later. He saw the reply post on his dashboard, and it made his heart jump in his chest for no reason. 

Someone was online. At this hour.

Thank you for being so awesome! Also you got taste. Pineapple pizza slaps! #🍍 anon

The amount of relief he felt for not being called an uber creep was enough to knock him to sleep. He reread the message at least five times before putting his phone down.

“She likes pineapple pizza?” he chuckled to himself stupidly in his bed.

What a goddamn scandal.

He clasped his hands under his nape and replayed the night in his head one more time. His talk with Jisung, the encounter with the nameless girl… Some things did come naturally to some people, and Chris always found himself panicking when he tried doing the same.

Maybe he just wasn’t meant to experience some things in this life.

“Why couldn’t you be at the party tonight?” his smile trailed off into a disappointed sigh while looking at the dark screen of his phone.

⥊ TO BE CONTINUED ⥋

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AUTHOR'S NOTE

For every Minho with a pudding, there is a corresponding Chris with a pineapple. I don't make the rules.

Oh, wait, I actually do.

「© 2021-2024, cb97percent · No translations, rewrites, or reposts permitted」

✉ Enjoyed this? It would be cool of you to reblog so that my work can reach more people.

#bang chan smut #bang chan scenarios #bang chan imagines #bang chan x reader #bang chan x y/n #bang chan x you #stray kids smut #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x you #skz smut #skz scenarios #skz imagines #skz x reader #skz x y/n #skz x you

[moony-is-a-sassy-bitch]

Dustin is (within the Stanger Things reality) a better person than Eddie and Steve

Hear me out: He's the better version of both, Eddie and Steve. Eddie and Steve are both the people he admires the most and he tries throughout the show to become what he he see in them (Steve's hair, his confidence. Eddie who doesn't seem to care what other people think of him) But in my eyes, he is already the better version of the two. Dustin doesn't need to learn how he should be from Steve and Eddie. Steve and Eddie should learn from Dustin how to improve themselves.

Let's start with Steve: He is characterized as confident, attractive and charismatic. He's popular (both among his classmates and potential romantic/sexual partners) and everyone takes him seriously. People admire him and emulate him. But particularly in S3, it is shown that his confidence and success was just a facade he was able to keep up, because success at school is based on such things as popularity and looks. His self-confidence is not real, his charisma can (according to himself) only work when he appears as Steve Harrington, white rich boy. People don't take him seriously, just the idea they have of him (Like how he hates his scoops uniform, because it ‘destroys’ his flirting) 

Dustin, on the other hand, is perceived as less attractive or charismatic on the show. He was the only one of his friends who didn't have a date for the prom, even Will (who is extremely withdrawn) had a girl who wanted to dance with him.

But Dustin is confident (most of the time). He knows his own worth and that having the right friends and interests is more important than being popular. Dustin has DnD, he enjoys science and his friends - Steve worked at an ice cream shop after graduation, the only person his age he ever hung out with didn't like him and he had no plan what to do with to begin his life.

Let's get to Eddie: At first glance, Eddie seems to have no problem with being an outsider, a scapegoat. He is much more likely to play into exactly these fantasies of his classmates.

He's mad at everyone.  Mad at his teachers for not graduating. Mad at the rich kids who get everything possible. The athletes who are popular by default. He wants to be like everyone else, but he knows he never will be. That's why he's loud and weird. That's why he attracts people's hatred towards himself.

Eddie hates everyone around him and himself because it's easier than loving himself.

Dustin also knows that he will never be like someone like Jason. He's not good at sports, he's a nerd and (unfortunately that's also a big factor) has a bone disease. He'll never be popular, but unlike Eddie, he's okay with it. He is not mad at everyone around him because he can appreciate himself. He knows that he is perfect the way he is and that he never has to change.

Steve wanted to teach him how to be successful with girls - But Dustin has already done that just by being himself. He didn't meet Suzi because he styled his hair up, but because he was pursuing his interests.

Eddie wanted to teach him never to change, but Dustin already knew that. He has never thought about changing because he already likes who he is.

I could say so much more about these three characters and their dynamics with each other (e.g. how Dustin manages to have faith in those who can easily screw him (Steve in S2 and Eddie in S4 V1), while Eddie and Steve don't have that ability) but I don't want this to be even longer than it already is.

#dustin stranger things #dustin henderson #eddie #eddie munson #steve #stranger things #stranger things s4 #Duffer Brothers #i love all three of them #we should appreciate dustin more #dustin handerson supremacy #st #st4 #why is eddie so pretty

[amarantine-amirite]

The Devil’s Voicemail

"I think I have a problem."

Jessica Samples said something stupid. Anne, one of her figure skating teammates, got upset about not being able to go to the Olympics. The Olympic Games had recently been abolished because they exist solely to displace the lower classes of the host cities. Jessica had said something about how she agreed that the Olympics had to go, but not for that reason. It costs a lot of money for cities to host the Olympics and whatever fancy new infrastructure comes from it doesn't get used after the fact. Hosting the Olympics guarantees a city will take a bath.

Nice. Then Jessica got blamed for the resulting suicide. Anne mentioned her comment in the note as the straw that broke the camel's back.

Clarissa Cunningham had problems of her own. "So do I," she responded, "Violet's cancer came back."

Jessica looked at her. "Clarissa, how is that a problem for you? Isn't that a problem for Violet?"

"It's a problem for both of us," Clarissa said. Her above-the-knee boots squeaked as she stood up. "Violet's leukemia came back and now I'm being blamed for it."

Jessica never thought of someone as being to blame for another person's cancer coming back. Things, not people, cause cancer. "OK, I don't think that's what they're talking about when they say toxic people," she giggled.

Clarissa rolled her eyes at yet another straight-haired athlete in a letterman jacket who didn't get her. "Violet's leukemia came back and I got blamed for putting a hex to make it so," she responded.

"Well, that makes my thing seem like nothing," Jessica responded.

Kathryn Herriot entered the garage with a box full of random crap. "I heard your conversation," she responded, "I don't think you're as screwed as you think you are."

Clarissa asked, "So you're saying I didn't hex Violet?"

"Of course not," Kathryn responded, "Hexes don't exist. Who accused you of doing that?"

"Mr. Cohen," Clarissa said without blinking.

Kathryn tipped her head to one side. "The science teacher?" she asked.

"Yes"

Kathryn let out a sigh and sat down. "Either that means Cohen's got it in for you or that he legitimately thinks you can hex somebody's cancer into coming back. I don't know what's worse."

Clarissa looked in the box and noticed an evil-looking board game. "Is that an Ouija board?" she asked

Kathryn nodded. Jessica looked towards the box and asked, "Can I use it to talk to Anne?"

"Why?" Kathryn said.

"I need to ask if she was mentally impaired enough that the note wouldn't be admissible in court."

"Well, you can try," Kathryn chuckled, "but I wouldn't get your hopes up." Going on the witness stand and saying you got your information from a dead person via the Ouija board is a good way to get everyone in the courtroom to laugh at you.

Clarissa's eyes lit up. "Ooh, can we use it to summon Satan?" she asked with enough excitement to shake her bat-shaped hoop earrings.

Kathryn rolled her eyes. "You watch way too many horror movies," she responded. Not only did she sound like every other adult who said that to Clarissa, but her Karen haircut and hoodie with the periodic table printed on it made her look like an amalgamation of judgemental soccer moms and irritated high-expectation fathers.

"That's a yes, right?" said Jessica.

"Yes, go ahead and use it," Kathryn nodded, "It'll be an important lesson."

They went ahead and used the Ouija board. To everyone's (especially Kathryn's) shock, it worked. They contacted Satan.

It didn't go anywhere. They got a voicemail: Hello, you've reached Satan, Ruler of Hell and Oppressor of the Damned. If you're one of those stupid kids who summons me on Halloween as a joke, just fuck off already.

The girls couldn't stop laughing. Who expects to summon a demon and get an answering machine?

It happens every year. On Halloween, a group of idiot teenagers will summon the devil as a joke. It's always a group of the same type of kids: the Goth kid who watches too many horror flicks, the nerd trying to demonstrate Ouija boards are extra-jumbo mumbo jumbo, and the athlete who wants to talk to someone dead.

None of them knew it, but this year would be different. This Halloween, ey had a plan to get those kids to cut it out.

A few days after using the Ouija board, the three of them woke up in the back of a strange car. there was no one at the wheel. In fact, the car was empty.

Clarissa got out first. She discovered that the car had crashed into a pond. Reeds and a stone wall poked over the water line.

Jessica got out and noticed that the pond wasn't a pond, but a river opening into a lake. Kathryn spotted a bridge.

The three of them spotted something gruesome under the bridge: a severed head hanging from the ceiling in a plastic bag. The corresponding body had been cut open and a router had been plugged into the chest cavity.

Clarissa took one look and gagged. Gore in real life is different than in those horror movies she loved so much. Kathryn and Jessica did the same, except Jessica threw up in the trunk.

"I thought I'd find you three here."

The source of the sound was a woman kneeling on a mattress hidden amongst bulrushes and reeds. She had a nearly skeletal frame and she couldn't have been taller than 5'3". She had very pale skin, almond-shaped eyes and hair that couldn't decide whether it was blond or brunette styled in a side pony that had fallen apart. She wore costume angel wings and halo, a frilly, metallic, long-sleeved pink dress with a big ribbon around her waist, and an eye patch. She wielded a bloody hand saw.

She approached the girls with her saw. Kathryn looked back at the corpse and then looked at her. There's no way a human with a saw could've inflicted those injuries.

Clarissa turned around. "Who are you?" she asked.

"Satan's assistant, Princess Karen CLX of Insufficient Light," she responded as she gestured for the girls to follow her away from the car and towards a corn maze at the edge of an empty fairground.

"This corn maze was the second most popular attraction at the county fair. That is until the Minotaur came along," Princess Karen continued, "The Minotaur would rip open the chest, eat everything except the liver, bones, and skin, and finally discard the carcass by the bridge."

Jessica thought the story was a joke. Kathryn thought it was ridiculous and that it was more likely the Minotaur was the ancient Greeks guessing incorrectly what a fossil was. Clarissa thought the story about the Minotaur and the corn maze would make an awesome horror movie.

"It's now the dumping ground for anyone Satan considers a pain in the ass. Ey can plug the remains into the router and the souls of the damned are uploaded to Hell's computer system to be tortured for all eternity," Princess Karen said as she grabbed a large stick and pushed the girls toward the entrance. "If you can make it out, we will pretend this never happened. If you don't, well, you've seen the body by the bridge. That'll be you."

Making it out of the Minotaur's corn maze is significantly harder than it sounds. Clarissa headed east, Jessica headed west, and Kathryn headed south. The Minotaur captured and ate Jessica within minutes.

Clarissa and Kathryn left the maze upon realizing a poorly placed wall of cornstalks blocked the exit. They went back to the car. To their surprise, the car was no longer in the water. Something had dredged it out of the water and returned it to the road.

A bigger and nastier surprise came when the soaked car started on its own and backed up all the way up the road. It zoomed down at the speed of sound and hit Clarissa hard enough to liquefy her.

@normal-writing-prompts

#Writing #writers #writers on tumblr #short fiction #Short story

[ettadunham]

the nature of science and math is that many games my random adventure game generator gives me are going to be older titles. which i absolutely love and is admittedly one of the reasons i got obsessed with this little project of mine; trying to figure out where to find and how to play those old games is the kind of challenge my nerd brain loves (sometimes even more so than the games themselves).

that being said, it's nice when an old game is actually available on steam to play.

well... it probably would've been nicer if head over heels (originally from 1987) wasn't so damn buggy. at least when it comes to the 2019 PC remake that is on steam right now. it took me several tries and restarts to be able to edit the controls (which didn't work in their default settings with my controller or keyboard), it crashes regularly, and even when i close it normally, it often ends up running in the background without me noticing.

some might even find the latter feature a bit suss, given how it could easily sabotage people trying to take advantage of steam's refund policy that's available under 2 hours of gameplay. on the other hand, it's also a game that could be finished in an hour (not by me, but someone i guess, lmao), and i know with those games, developers get screwed over more often than not. in any case, i already paid a reduced sales price for it, so i'm personally not gonna complain much about it.

as for the game itself... it's a cute platformer. you play as two dogs, who can jump around, build steps and fire doughnuts(?). they can also jump on each others heads so you can control them together. apparently.

i haven't actually got around to that part tbh. this game is hard, okay?? idk how to see in this weird 3d space. i just watched someone else play through the game, lmao.

the remake's graphics look really cute though, and the intro song slaps. so it definitely wasn't a waste.

#adventure game extravaganza #mse's playing adventure games #mse's playing head over heels

[funnyrobotmoments]

Pinned post time I don't know how this website works and I will not learn

My human name is Micah, feel free to call me anything you'd like, I'm an alter in a system, and mentally I am 26 human years, although the body is 19. My pronouns are he/it/xe or any space, robot or wolf related neos. I was hit with the evil autism ray and I have several screws loose (get it?). I was assigned ENTP 7w8 by friend so make of that what you will.

Onto my silly little otherkin identities, I consider myself both a wolf and coyote alterhuman, I don't know how it fits within my timeline of existence but you just have to roll with the punches sometimes

I am also robotkin. I consider myself an extraterrestrial also, an extraterrestrial robot if you will. Humanoid anatomy but not human-like at all. I have no idea if there's such thing as alienrobotkin but if there is I am definitely that!

Related to my robot otherkininity, is that even a word? I don't know! I also consider myself to be Dr Nefarious from the ratchet and clank universe. It's unrelated to my fictivisms but I am him and he is me, I'm ehhh with doubles but you know the whole multiple universes thing especially because the reboot universe is a seperate thing to the original, it's definitely possible! I think I can come to terms with others existing.

As for interests, I love all sorts of sci fi media, R&C (hyperfix), star trek, all of that. I'm an avid fan of pokemon, it's one of my special interests, particularly the shiny hunting aspect and I like watching nuzlockes, competitive videos and pack openings. I'm a huge fan of other robots, AI, and computer science. Space and space physics is also one of my special interests. I also love wolf packs, and the 1800s west and outlaw gangs. I also have my own sci-fi related universe you can read about on toyhouse if anyone's interested in it. Thats about it, just give me anything nerdy and I'll nerd out

The shitlist (DNI): anyone who is vehemently anti-kin. I can always educate but if you unironically say hunting season I'll just laugh at you. Bigots of any variety, people who are anti neopronouns etc, LGBT exclusionists in case we didn't leave that in 2018, anti-furs (I'm a massive furry), "mental health advocates" who don't want to help those with "scary" mental illnesses, proshippers or whatever they're calling themselves, just general nasties, also people who don't accept others taking kinning seriously. I don't care if you're a "kinnie" personally but this part of my identity is very important to me

I have no idea what I'm going to post here but I guarantee it will be very mischievous and quality content. Stay tuned for more

Welcome to my wacky profile

#pinned post #androidkin #alterhuman #robotkin #fictionkin

[ptergwen]

can’t get close | ch. one

☛ series taglist ♪ series playlist ✎ series masterlist

w/c: 5,542

warnings: explicit language, smoking, drug use, references to sexual activity, adult content throughout

summary: peter parker agrees to tutor you in physics for one reason and one reason only; you’re paying him. but, it quickly becomes about more than the money.

a/n: i’ve had this in the drafts for a long ass time and i’m so stoked i finally get to share it with y’all omg i hope you enjoy this series as much as i do bc i can’t wait for you to see what’s next! also a reminder that all characters are of age and you should only proceed if you’re 18+! feedback is appreciated, much love to you <3

“fuck.”

you’re looking over the physics test your teacher just handed back, trying to make sense of her many markings. each page is covered in streaks of red pen from top to bottom. psychics isn’t your strongest subject by any means, but you didn’t think it was this weak. your heart nearly falls out of your chest when you read your grade.

you failed.

by one point.

screw physics, and screw ms. warren, too.

“shit,” you curse, slamming the test down on your desk. harry looks back at you. “something the matter, y/l/n? what’s got your panties in a twist?” he wonders with that stupid smirk of his. “not you, that’s for sure,” you retort. “ooh, feisty today, are we?” he observes.

harry turns around in his seat to face you properly. he leans his elbows on your desk, the smirk still evident on his features. you glare at your test score written in big, red numbers.

it’s almost as if it’s taunting you.

“seriously, you good?” harry checks. “you could always talk to me, y/l/n,” he nudges your foot with his own. “i failed, harry. i fucking failed the test,” you mutter. “what? lemme see,” harry demands.

you wordlessly push your test towards him. he picks it up and examines it, frowning at the paper in his hands. you press your lips together.

“just a point off, huh? it could be worse. shit was hard, man,” harry comforts you, giving you your test. you put it face-down this time. “yeah? what’d you get?” you challenge. “that’s between me and warren,” he taps your nose with his index finger. “so what i’m hearing is, you passed,” you conclude. “barely, but i didn’t want you to feel bad,” he admits. “nothing could make me feel worse than the fatass F on my paper,” you deadpan.

your gaze lands on peter parker up at ms. warren’s desk, watching their exchange.

“excellent work, peter. i was very impressed,” ms. warren compliments. she even smiles at him, something she never does. “thank you, that means a lot,” peter smiles back, retrieving his test from her. “most students get stumped on the constructed response. not you, though,” she goes on.

peter is the by far brightest student at midtown. you know it, he knows it, everybody knows it. he doesn’t have to try for it, either. he’s one of those people who’s naturally smart, shit just comes to him. you swear the kid’s brain must be wired different or something.

you think it’s pretty damn cool how genius peter is. you’ve got to wonder what it’s like being such a science whizz. you don’t have enough brain cells for it, though. you’re killing them all off, fucking around and getting high.

it’s whatever. you’re more of an english kind of gal, anyway.

“nerd alert!” harry calls to peter, hands cupped over his mouth to project his voice. peter’s brows furrow as he searches for the source of it. “dude, leave him,” you smack at his chest.

the bell rings, signaling the end of the period. your classmates hurry out of their seats and file towards the door. ms. warren reminds everyone of an upcoming homework assignment on the way out. you flip her off behind her back, to which harry snickers at.

“lunchtime,” you wiggle your eyebrows. “let’s go smoke.”

“jeez, y/n. what did you get right?” liz murmurs, flipping through your physics test. “not much, as you can see,” you answer. you take a long drag from your cigarette before passing it off to harry. “hey, it’s no big deal. there’s always the next one,” harry tries.

you’re seated at your usual picnic table outside. you sit up on the tabletop with harry and liz on the bench facing you. harry inhales smoke from the cigarette and puffs it out in your face. you waft the smoke back towards him with a giggle, liz sighing at both of your childish behavior.

harry osborn and liz allan are your very best friends in the whole world. they’re your ride or dies. peter may be well known around midtown, but he’s not the only one. you three have got quite the reputations yourselves. just, for different attributes.

you’re the best fuck, got the best stash. harry is your dealer. liz has the brains, so she gets you and harry out of the trouble you get yourselves into. she’s not afraid to let loose from time to time, though. the three of you make the perfect trio.

“y/n, you’ve gotta get your grades up,” liz warns. “warren’s tough. she won’t think twice about failing you, and i mean for the year,” she sets your test down in your lap. “too bad i can’t fuck her for an A,” you say, snatching your cigarette back from harry.

harry flicks your knee over your jeans. you kick your foot at him in retaliation. he dodges you.

“i’m serious. i had her last year, remember?” liz asks, sipping her iced cofeee. “yeah, yeah. lucky you, you already took physics,” you speak with the cigarette between your teeth. “exactly, so i know what she’s like,” liz finishes. you exhale smoke and a chuckle along with it. “you wanna help me out then, lizzie?” you question.

“you mean, like, tutor you?” liz wonders, her features holding amusement. “why not? you’re smart, you know the curriculum. let’s do it,” you propose. “i’d love to, but i can’t. i’m really busy with decathlon, and yearbook, and…” she smiles apologetically. “say no more, madam president. i understand,” you assure her.

you jam your cigarette into the wooden table to put it out, tapping the ashes onto your physics test. you peer around the courtyard at the other tables. peter parker happens to be at one of them. he’s laughing about something with his friends, prompting your lips to pull up in a grin.

“you should ask parker to tutor you,” harry suggests. “are you out of your mind? he would never,” you scoff. “are you out of yours? he’s a pro at physics, and i’ve seen you checking him out,” he pokes your knee, hard.

you wave him off, although you don’t deny it.

“oh my god, you totally should!” liz chimes in. “i coach peter for decathlon, he’s awesome. i’m sure he’d be happy to do it,” she vouches for him. “you think so?” you narrow your eyes at her. “of course. he’s a sweetheart,” liz laughs out. “c’mon, ask him,” harry encourages. “right now?” you peek over at peter.

he’s munching on a carrot stick, listening intently as one of his friends rambles.

“not like he has much else going on,” harry states, stealing liz’s coffee and chugging what’s left of it.

you are in desperate need of a tutor. there’s no way you’re repeating physics. once is more than enough, so you’ll take all the help you can get to pass the godforsaken class. it’s your senior year. if you fail, you risk not graduating. besides, peter is an expert, and he seems chill. if anyone can help you, it’s him.

it’s worth a shot.

“sure, what the hell?” you decide, swinging your legs off the table. “attagirl! that’s the spirit!” harry cheers. “remind him there’s acadec practice after school. he hasn’t been showing for some reason,” liz requests. “peter parker cutting classes? i gotta give him more credit,” you joke.

you stand up on the bench before hopping down into the grass. you then make your way over to peter’s table. as you’re approaching him, you shake out your oversized t-shirt to rid it of the smell of smoke. you plaster on your sweetest smile and stride up to peter and his friends, going to the head of the table. the three of them are caught up in their conversation.

“what’s up, parker?” you speak up. peter’s head whips in your direction. “leeds, watson,” you nod at his friends, ned and mj. mj nods back. “y/l/n,” ned greets, trying to play cool. “to what do we owe the pleasure?” mj asks. peter merely stares up at you. “can i sit?” you ask him. “uh, yeah. go ahead,” he mumbles.

you take the empty spot on the bench next to peter. his eyes practically pop out of his head.

peter is shocked you’re talking to him. he can’t recall you two ever even speaking before now. there’s also the fact that you’re you, and he’s him. it’s not like you run in the same circles.

what’s your deal?

“you’re probably wondering what i’m doing here,” you read peter’s mind. “what if i told you i knew a way you could make a dollar or two?” you start. he perks up, interest piqued. “keep talking,” he replies, nibbling on another carrot. “tutoring. have you ever considered it?” you grin, proud of your idea.

“tutoring for what?” mj questions. “and who?” ned piggybacks. you lock eyes with peter. “me, for physics,” you reveal. peter is dumbfounded, and his face doesn’t hide it. “seriously?” he almost chokes on his carrot. “that hard to believe, huh?” you chuckle. “i mean, no offense, but…” he looks to ned and mj. “you’re not exactly the tutoring type,” mj grimaces.

“listen,” you sigh, glancing between the three of them. “it wasn’t my first choice either, but i’m failing, and that’s not an option,” you explain. “i really don’t wanna retake this shit. i won’t make it through another year… not alive, at least.”

your voice quiets towards the end of your sentence. you pick at your manicured nails, gaze drifting to the ground. peter’s lips twitch into a sympathetic frown.

this must be heavy on your mind. he’d hate to see you struggling when he knows he could help, or anyone for that matter. plus, you offered to pay. he could really use the money.

“why peter, though? why do you want him to tutor you?” mj inquires. “yeah, why peter?” ned gawks. “liz wasn’t available,” you honestly answer. ned and mj share a look. “no, but seriously. he’s the smartest guy in our class. hell, he’s the smartest guy at this school,” you flash peter a smile. peter finds himself returning it. “who better than him?“ you rationalize. “fair enough,” he decides.

“is that a yes? you’ll do it?” you ask. “i’ll do it,” peter confirms. you grab him by his shoulder, face lighting up. “perfect! when do we start?” you wonder. “how’s today after school, if you’re free?” he responds, laughing softly at your enthusiasm. “i am, but you’re not. decathlon practice,” you click your tongue.

“how did you…” peter trails off. “liz,” ned and mj reply in unison. you beam at them. “okay. um, after practice? we could meet up?” peter lets his eyes flit to yours. “text me your addy. looking forward to working with you, parker,” you conclude, getting up from the bench. “you too, y/l/n. see you later,” he shoots you another smile.

you wave to ned and mj before jogging back over to your table. ned claps peter on the back, who’s looking at you over his shoulder.

if he only knew what he was in for.

“nice work, everyone! don’t forget to review the topics we discussed for next practice,” liz dismisses the decathlon team.

the team stands from the table, each saying their goodbyes to one another. peter and ned pack up their things.

“i can’t believe y/n y/l/n is coming over to your apartment,” ned raves. “neither can i,” peter murmurs, shoving books in his backpack. “seriously, peter! this is a once in a lifetime opportunity! what are you gonna wear?” ned asks. “uh, this?” peter gestures to his science pun t-shirt and khakis. “dude,” ned groans.

“i mean, does it matter? i’m only tutoring her, ned,” peter reminds him. “peter, you don’t just tutor a girl like y/n,” ned refutes. peter zips his backpack, looking blankly at him. “we’re gonna study, and i’m gonna get paid. that’s all,” he brushes him off. “that’s why i’m doing it, you know. for the money,” he slips a backpack strap onto his shoulder.

“really? that’s the only reason?” ned presses. “and, because i feel bad for her. nobody should have to retake physics. it’s the spawn of satan,” peter justifies. the two of them begin to make their way out of the auditorium. “true. well, good luck. let me know how it goes,” ned pats his friend on the shoulder. “alright. thanks, man,” peter replies before ned leaves the auditorium.

“peter!” liz shouts out. “come here a sec!”

peter clutches onto his backpack strap, head tilted to the side. he walks back over to the table, where liz is tidying the space. she pauses to rip a piece of paper from her notebook. she scribbles something down on it, then hands it to him.

“y/n’s number,” liz says. “right, thanks,” peter nods, tucking the paper into his pocket. “good job today, by the way. we missed you. don’t work y/n too hard,” she winks. “missed you guys too, and i won’t,” peter chuckles, exiting the auditorium at last.

once peter is settled in at home, he retrieves your number from his pocket. he puts it into his phone, lips pursed curiously. without thinking too much of it, peter types out his address and hits send. you reply all but a second later.

peter jumps when his phone buzzes, not expecting you to answer so fast. he cracks a small smile as he reads your message.

be there soon! brace yourself parker :)

peter gathers his physics materials while you head over to his apartment. he then decides to neaten up the messy space in anticipation of your arrival. you’re his company, he supposes. besides, his aunt may will surely appreciate him cleaning up after himself for a change. she’s always saying the place is a pigsty.

he’s pushing a cereal box into the kitchen cabinets when you knock at his door. he quickly closes the cabinets and scrambles to get the door, but not without stopping to check his reflection in the toaster. he meticulously combs back his hair with his fingers before he realizes what he’s doing.

ned must have gotten in his head.

peter rolls his eyes at himself and fixes his hair the way he had it. he pads over to the door, turning the knob to reveal you on the other side. you sport a wide grin, a textbook hugged to your chest. he’s pleasantly surprised that you came prepared.

“let’s get to work, shall we?” you prompt. “we shall. come on in,” peter invites you.

you wander inside, your perfume filling the air as you pass by. peter shuts the door and meets you at his kitchen table, where you’ve already seated yourself. you get comfortable in your chair, leaning back with one leg crossed over the other. you open up your textbook. peter sits across from you and does the same.

“so, what’s on the agenda?” you question. “i figured we could start at the beginning, go back to the basics,” peter responds. “we’ll take it slow, okay?” he looks over at you. “mm, not my specialty,” you remark. peter’s eyes widen at your innuendo. “kidding. whatever you think, parker. we’re in your territory now,” you say.

“okay, cool. turn to page-“ peter cuts himself off when you plop into the seat next to him. “i’d rather look on with you, if that’s alright. i’m a visual learner,” you explain. “sure, whatever works for you,” he assures you, flipping to the first chapter.

you move in so you can see better. your shoulder squishes against peter’s, the sweet scent of your perfume smelling stronger from how close you are. your lips part, then curve into a smile. peter gets distracted by your gaze, subconsciously inching even closer to you. you nod for him to start. he snaps out of his daze and shifts to face forward.

what the hell was that?

pull it together, peter. pull it together.

“chapter one, introduction to dynamics,” peter reads aloud. you follow along with your finger on the paper. “dynamics is the study of bodies in motion. dynamics is concerned with describing motion and explaining its causes,” he begins, glancing at you. “you okay with that?” he checks. “yeah, so far so good,” you affirm. “awesome. the general field of dynamics consists of two major areas,” he continues.

“should i be taking notes or something? i, uh, don’t wanna get lost,” you confess. peter looks up from the textbook, his kind eyes meeting yours. “is that how you usually study?” he asks. “on the rare occasion i do, yeah. i take notes as i go,” you reply. “i’m not sure how well it works, though. it’s sometimes too much to understand at once,” you shrug, chewing your lower lip.

“maybe we could try a different approach,” peter speaks quietly. “how about we read through the chapter first, then go back and write down what you think is important after?” he grins. you smile back, lip still between your teeth. “that sounds good. i like that,” you agree. “great, let’s go on. stop me anytime you want me to explain something, okay?” he offers. “mhm, thanks,” you hum.

“the general field of dynamics consists of two major areas: kinematics and kinetics…”

you and peter take your time working through the first chapter of your physics textbook. he’s impressed by your positive attitude and drive to learn more, taking an active interest in everything he covers. you’re grateful for peter’s patience with you and how willing he is to answer all your questions in as many ways as you need him to. you have a lot of them.

the session goes way better than either of you were expecting. although you’ve nowhere near mastered physics yet, you’re at least putting in an effort.

“this is a good place to stop for today, but we’re making progress,” peter eventually decides. you face palm into the textbook. “thank god. there’s only so much physics i can take,” you grumble. “you and me both,” he concurs, venturing into the kitchen. “snack?” he asks you. “yes, please,” you do a thumbs up.

“how was decathlon practice?” you make conversation while peter searches his fridge. “i’ll spare you the details. i think i’ve bored you enough for one day,” peter chuckles. “i asked, didn’t i?” you reiterate. you sit back up in your chair. “uh, it was good. we just ran some drills, talked about nationals,” he elaborates, now rummaging through the cabinets.

“ah, liz told me you guys might go back this year. you’re the reigning champs,” you recall. “that’s us,” peter echoes. when he opens the cabinet, the cereal he put away earlier falls out. “you like fruit loops?” he questions, holding up the box. “dude, i fucking love them. gimme,” you command.

peter pours you each a bowl of cereal and brings them back over to the table. you dig in, earning lighthearted laughter from him.

“when’s our next session?” you ask between a mouthful of fruit loops. “i thought we could meet, like, once a week or so. so, next week?” peter answers. you drop your spoon. “that’s it?” you inquire. “you wanna meet more than that?” peter copies your incredulous tone. you give him a look, a dead-serious look. “if you think it’ll help you, sure,” he says before downing the last of his cereal.

peter carries your empty bowls to the sink to wash them out. you push in your chair, fumbling around in your jeans for your wallet.

“well, i’ve gotta run. me and harry have some… business to attend to,” you speak over the running water. “we’ll discuss more tomorrow. thank you, parker. for the tutoring and the fruit loops,” you send him another smile. “you’re welcome. glad i could be of service,” he replies, and means it. “money’s on the table. see ya!” you inform him before rushing out the door.

did that really just happen?

peter dries off his hands with a kitchen towel and goes back over to collect the money. he sorts through it, blinking wildly. you left him a couple of twenty dollar bills. they smell of sugary vanilla, your signature scent.

“this is definitely more than a dollar or two,” peter remarks, pocketing the twenties.

that really just happened.

“alright, y/l/n. what’s it gonna be?” harry questions.

he’s multitasking, rolling a blunt while he deals to you. you’re sprawled across his bed on your stomach, feet up and kicking behind you. you’d come straight to his place after leaving peter’s. you need to restock your supplies, so it was time to hit him up.

“an ounce of your finest,” you respond. harry licks and pinches the rolling paper to shape it. “weed?” he asks. “yeah. i’m not into hard stuff,” you quirk a stern brow. “and what a shame that is, y/l/n. you have no idea what you’re missing,” harry sighs, setting down the freshly formed blunt. “i’d like to keep it that way,” you mumble.

“an ounce of my finest, coming right up,” harry announces. he tosses you a small, sealed baggie, which you catch. “pleasure doing business with you, osborn,” you let out a raspy laugh. “can i get some E, too?” you wonder. “lemme see if i have any. i was almost out, last time i checked,” harry rubs his chin.

you often wonder where harry gets this shit from. his father is a big businessman with connections all over the city, so you assume it’s something to do with that. the osborn name, that is.

“what do you need ecstasy for, anyway?” harry questions. “always like to have some, just in case. it’s fun to fuck on,” you clarify, arching your back to stretch it out. “trust me, i know,” he wiggles his eyebrows. he opens up a drawer he uses to hide his stash, fishing around for the ecstasy. “who’re you fucking nowadays?” he pries. “who am i not fucking?” you counter.

his hand emerges with another baggie, this one with two pills resembling smiley faces inside.

“come and get it,” harry prompts you. you lunge forward and reach for the bag, but he pulls it away. “that’s gonna cost extra, since i’m running low,” he smiles wickedly. “whatever it is, i’ll pay it,” you concede.

harry holds out his hand for you to place your wallet in it. you give it to him, sitting up on your knees. he gathers all the cash you have and counts the bills out. he inspects the pile with his tongue out in concentration.

“you’re short,” harry tells you.

you pat your pockets to feel around for any loose money. much to your dismay, there isn’t any.

“aw, shit. i gave the rest of my cash to parker,” you remember. “spot me?” you grin hopefully. “i’ll take this for now, and you can pay me the rest some other time,” harry compromises, putting the pile down on top of his dresser. “deal,” you seize the bag of ecstasy out of his hand.

“speaking of parker, how’d your study sesh go?” harry wonders. he grabs a lighter and the blunt he just rolled. “really good, actually. he’s an awesome tutor. plus, he’s literally the nicest guy ever,” you respond. “is he now?” harry asks, lighting up his blunt. “yup. he even made me fruit loops,” you add. “wow, fruit loops. i dunno what more you could ask for,” harry quips.

“lay off him, would you? it was cute,” you defend. harry inhales a generous amount of smoke from his blunt. “careful, y/l/n,” he warns, exhaling the smoke. “if i didn’t know any better, i’d think you have a crush,” he taunts. you tsk at him. “me? a crush? never,” you proclaim, snatching the blunt from harry.

harry looks you up and down inquisitively, then retrieves more paper to roll himself another blunt.

“she wants to meet again already? dude, she likes you,” ned nudges peter’s arm.

peter is filling ned and mj in on how your tutoring session went the next day at school. the three of them walk side by side in the hallway as they chat.

“or she’s just trying to pass physics, like she said,” mj corrects. “or both,” ned levels with her. peter shakes his head, eyeing ned. “no, mj’s right. y/n worked really hard last night. she wants to do well, is all,” he says. “of course i’m right. i’m always right,” mj declares. neither peter nor ned dare to disagree with her. “i have my theories, you guys have yours,” ned murmurs.

“uh huh. anyway, i should get to class. later, dorks,” mj dismisses herself from her friends. “bye, em,” peter replies.

ned pulls peter off to the side once mj is gone. he grips at either of peter’s arms, staring into his eyes with intensity. peter looks around the hall to make sure no one else notices their odd encounter.

“the signs are right there in front of you, peter. y/n wants you!” ned says. “i bet she’d totally hook up with you if you asked her,” he convinces. peter’s mouth falls open. “ned! have some class!” he whisper yells. “relax, dude. it’s what she does,” ned justifies. “and it’s none of our business. c’mon, we’re gonna be late,” peter chastises him.

peter isn’t proud of it, but he thinks more about what ned said after their conversation. you were sort of touchy with him yesterday. he’s not oblivious to the way you look at him, either. and, hey, it’s no secret you get around. not that that gives peter a right to your body or anything. it’s just something to consider.

realistically, you’re probably only being friendly. you act like that with pretty much everyone. peter doubts he’s even your type. you’re more likely to go for someone in your own league, someone more like harry osborn. for all peter knows, you already have.

when it’s time for physics, peter slips into his usual seat at the front and center of the room. he unpacks his things and waits for ms. warren to start the class. you and harry rush in as the bell is ringing, giggling about something amongst yourselves. peter’s eyes follow you to the back of the room, where the two of you sit. you give peter a wave and a small smile. he waves back, then turns to face the board.

“good afternoon, everyone. how are we all doing?” ms. warren greets. the class mumbles their responses. “glad to hear it. today, we’ll be peer reviewing your unit test i handed back yesterday,” she paces around the room. “as long as you work diligently, you may choose your own partners.”

you and harry fist bump each other. peter sinks down in his seat.

he dreads partner work in physics. none of his friends are in his class, so he always ends up alone. it’s humiliating.

“any discrepancies, come see me. i’ll be right up here. get to work, class,” ms. warren instructs.

there’s a chorus of chairs screeching and kids chattering as everyone splits into pairs. peter remains seated, his cheeks tinting pink. he gets out his test and looks through it absentmindedly, gaze going from the test to the clock. he’s ready for physics to be over. ms. warren strides over to his desk, a knowing look on her face.

“trouble finding a partner?” ms. warren questions. “i don’t mind working alone,” peter assures her. the deep shade of pink coating his cheeks says otherwise. “unfortunately for you, peter, this is peer review,” she laughs lightly. “we’re missing a few students today, so we’re an odd number. why don’t you join another group?” she asks.

“oh. um, i’m not sure anybody would wanna…” peter starts to make an excuse. “hey, parker!” you summon him. he turns to face you. “we’re looking for a third,” you say suggestively, harry smirking. peter glances back at ms. warren for approval. “your choice,” she comments before walking over to her desk.

peter weighs his options. he could either stay up here and die of embarrassment, or join you and harry. he decides to go with the latter.

he grabs his things and makes his way over to the two of you. you drag over an empty desk for him, grinning up at him. he instantly feels more at ease as he takes the seat, until harry speaks up.

“what’d you get on the test, parker? i’ll show you mine if you show me yours,” harry offers. “uh, i don’t think we’re actually supposed to share our grades-“ peter is interrupted by harry taking his test off his desk. “okay, sure,” he says instead. harry hums to himself at peter’s almost perfect score. “not bad, not bad,” he understates. “thanks,” peter nods. “you said it, y/l/n. parker here is brilliant,” harry concludes.

“you think i’m brilliant?” peter gives you a shy smile. “c’mon, parker. you are brilliant,” you push his shoulder playfully. “you two can compare grades later. let’s get to it, gentlemen,” you boss. “yes, ma’am,” harry salutes you, handing peter his test. “where did you guys wanna start?” peter wonders.

“from the top. i’d already fucked up on question one,” you show peter your test. there’s a big red X on the first question. “me, too,” harry sighs. “no worries, it was a hard one,” peter tells you both. “can i see your test again?” he asks you. you give it to him, brows raised. “for multiple choice, i recommend using process of elimination,” he begins. “good strategy,” harry acknowledges.

“let’s read through the choices. are there any you know right off the bat are wrong?” peter questions you. “uh, hold on,” you mumble.

you push the eraser of your pencil against your lips, reading the question to yourself. peter’s eyes can’t help but to trail down to your lips. you pout your bottom one out and turn the test towards you. peter sucks in a breath. your arm rests on his desk, head ever so slightly leaned against his.

“what about A?” you catch his attention. peter’s eyes move back up to yours. “huh?” he splutters. “choice A. that’s wrong, right?” you repeat. “right, yeah,” he laughs awkwardly. “so it’s wrong?“ you squint. “this is getting confusing. let me just,” peter chuckles again, crossing out A on your test. “there, process of elimination. you wanna do the rest?” he wonders.

“could i try, or is three a crowd?” harry buts in. “chill, harry. don’t act like you give a fuck about this stuff,” you tease, leaning further into peter. more color paints his cheeks just as they were paling. “you didn’t either ‘til yesterday,” harry reminds you. “yeah, well, a certain someone showed me i could,” you nudge peter’s arm.

a toothy grin creeps onto peter’s face.

“how about y/n finishes up question one, and harry, you take the next one,” peter suggests. “alrighty, then. i’ll get started,” harry agrees, picking up his pencil and beginning question two.

peter waits while the two of you redo the questions. you stay close to his side as you solve yours, using process of elimination to choose what you believe to be the correct answer. you elbow him gently once you’re finished.

“could you check this?” you ask peter. “sure, one sec,” he says, sliding your paper over to himself. you search for his eyes as they roam your paper. “how’d i do?” you bite into your lower lip. “um, you didn’t get it,” peter tells you. “seriously? shit, man. i’m a lost cause... i’m no good at this,” you complain.

“hey, don’t say that. you’re trying. that matters more than anything else,” peter reassures you. “you’ve got a long way to go, but you’ll get there. i’m here to help you,” he smiles. “thanks. i know i’m kinda slow at this shit, so thank you for being patient,” you reply. “thanks for being so understanding, too,” you place one of your hands atop his.

“you don’t have to thank me. i am your tutor, after all,” peter breathes out a laugh. “not right now, you’re not. you’re off the clock,” you point out. “i’m also your friend,” he toys with your fingers. “i mean, if you want me to be,” he hastily adds. “i do, yeah. friends it is,” you grin at him.

even though you’ve only known peter about a day, you could feel a fast friendship blooming. he’s not like harry or liz. he’s a teacher’s pet, he’s constantly tripping over his words. but, he’s also sweeter to you than anyone else is, guys especially. although, it’s not like the bar is set very high. the point is, you like that peter treats you differently than the other students at midtown do. it’s refreshing.

you don’t mind expanding your circle for him one bit.

“aye yo, parker,” harry taps peter on the shoulder. “this look right to you?”

he flashes peter his answer sheet, snorting. rather than doing question two like he was supposed to, he colored the empty bubbles in the shape of a dick. peter sports a pained expression. you give him a pat on the back.

“welcome to my world.”

tags: @sunshinehollandd @babyspiders @harbingerofheartbreak @moonsock @holland-styles @lowkey-holland​ @bi-lmg07 @rafeyybabyy @aayaissaa @explosiveholland @crybaby-culture @euphoricholland @jallerentrags​ @belovedholland @nocturnalms @mostdefinitelyhasissues @mayal0pez @hopeless-romantic-baby @cutetomholland @daddytasha @yeetedandoboi @curlyfriesthings @mclafm05 @minimarkive @hollandsangel @peterficrecs​ @inthegetawaycarwithtaylah @peterparkeeh0le @walkintheprk @sleepingdancer @lilostif16 @cubedtriangle @sillykankam

#peter parker #peter parker fluff #peter parker smut #peter parker imagine #peter parker fic #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #peter parker x reader #peter parker au #tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland smut #tom holland imagine #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland x you #tom holland x reader

[xilamoc]

So we all know how in Season 3 Rikki is very protective of the secret and is very paranoid about it and sometimes even rude to other people about it the same way Emma was, well, I think I might have an explanation for that.

As we all know, Season 3 was not in the initial plan, and it came out 1 whole year after Season 2 and as such, the writers were left with a lot of time to self reflect on the product they created, the good, the bad and the ugly, by the time they started working on season 3, the writing team must've had identified some problems the show had in its first 2 seasons and clearly went in with the mindset to fix those problems, these include the mysogyny, the handling of women in science, and the one that's relevant today, Emma, I believe when the writers finished the show, they realized how bad they screwed up with Emma and I presume the first thing they did while writing Season 3 was give her a storyline where she could develop, once Claire Holt notified she wasn't coming back, Emma's storyline was most likely the only one that was complete (or in the process of being completed) so rather than undo all that hard work that took writing Emma, they just gave her storyline to Rikki, with that in mind, it's clear now why Rikki acts the way she does after S3E4, that's because its not her, its Emma's dialogue and soul that was put into Rikki, her whole arc in S3 seems to be about learning to be less bossy, because her bossiness seems to be self-destructive, a trait that wasn't in Rikki's character, but was in Emma's, they also gave Zane Ash's intended personality in S3 btw, and call me crazy but I think they gave Bella some of Rikki's original storyline, in "The Awakening" when Rikki and Will meet for the first time romantic music plays and Rikki seems to be attracted to him, which is evident by the fact she looks at Will with a smile on her face as she goes to Mako island, until Zane interrupts her, I think these are remains of Rikki's original storyline which was going to be her between two boys, these ended up being half slashed from her and the other boy (Will) was given to Bella, and the writers chose not only to give Rikki's Emma storyline, but to kind of fuse it with her older one but left all the romantic development to Bella, and kept most of the Jealousy and drama with Rikki.

As for Cleo, I think she was, like Emma and Rikki, written before Claire and Angus notified their departures, however, I think her arc was probably mostly the same in the original script, the only piece of information I have to somewhat back this up is the fact that Jonathan said in an interview that was posted here on tumblr not so long ago that Cleo's development was based on the way her actress is in real life, which I think it's true but I also think they wanted to use Cleo as a means of fixing the handling of women in science, given not only she was the main character of the ensemble, but Cleo herself shamed women in science in the past and was not good at it herself, which I think production saw that could give a very bad message to younger viewers and sought to fix it by developing Cleo into a science nerd, this storyline probably just had the minor rewrite in which Cleo doesn't have the help of Lewis in the second half of the season, which in my opinion works for the better, and helps her character unfold.

So In conclusion, when watching Season 3, try to View Rikki as Emma, Bella as Rikki, Zane as Ash, Will as Zane (I guess?) and Cleo and Lewis as... Well, Cleo and Lewis and you have yourself a much better story.

#h2o just add water #h2o season 3 #cleo sertori #rikki chadwick #emma gilbert #bella hartley #zane bennett #ash dove #lewis mccartney #will benjamin

[crymeariveronceagain]

mha characters’ college majors(because im in college)

Izuku Midoriya: Psychology, minor in Mathematics. No, Kacchan, he doesn’t know what he’s going to do with that.

Katsuki Bakugo: Chemical Engineering, no minor. Just a lot of electives, and he’s all over the board on those. He wants to be really good at almost everything.

Shoto Todoroki: Literature, minor in History. His dad wanted him to go into Law, but Shoto detests law. Always has. You know what he likes? He likes to read. He’s one of those nerds who will randomly just carry around “War And Peace” and read it smack dab in the middle of the quad. 

Tenya Iida: Pre-Law, minor in Chemistry. He’s had his heart set on Law School since he was a wee lad. 

Occhako Uraraka: Chemical Engineering, minor in Women’s Studies. Bakugo and her take a lot of the same classes.

Asui Tsuyu: Biology, no minor. She takes a lot of dance and theatre and writing classes for her electives. 

Toru Hagakure: Women’s Studies and Marketing double major. Professional Writing minor. No one knows how she balances that work load. No one knows.

Momo Yaoyorozu: Mechanical Engineering with a minor in Civil Engineering. No one knows how she balances that class load, either. Uraraka looks on in awe. 

Hitoshi Shinsou: Criminology, minor in writing studies. He wants to write books about serial killers.

Kyoka Jirou: Music major, Chemistry Minor. Denki jokes that she’s going to write songs about test tubes. She told him to screw off. He told her he’d listen to her music no matter what it was about. Everyone but Bakugo ignored the fact that she blushed for the next twenty seconds.

Mina Ashido: Art and Fashion Design double major. She’s gonna make the best dresses, and she wants to be the most badass fashion designer on the face of the earth. 

Eijirou Kirishima: Exercise Science(“THAT’S A FUCKING PSUDEO-SCIENCE, SHITTY HAIR--”). Or Women’s studies. Or Marketing. Or maybe Literature??? Oh, and he’s also been seen taking engineering classes. He’s still undeclared, and no one knows what his minor is. Least of all him. He needs a solid talk with his advisor.

Denki Kaminari: English, minor in Exercise Science. “Bakugo, I promise, I’m going to write a book on getting freaking swole--” “Pikachu, if you don’t stop talking about that book you’re never going to write, I’ll shove the very non-real idea up your a--”

Hanta Sero: Chemistry Major, Biology minor. He has no clue what he’s doing, but he likes pouring stuff into things and the watching things explode part. He’s doing amazingly well. Professors have written him stunning reccomendations. He doesn’t know how it’s working, but he’s enjoying it.

Tokoyami Fumikagi: English and Literature double major, Forensic Criminology minor. He is going to write even longer, darker books about serial killers than Shinsou is.

Yuga Aoyama: Theatre Major, Fashion Design Minor. He and Mina wind up in a lot of the same classes, and Tsuyu is always in his theatre classes.

Mashiaro Ojirou: Mechanical Engineering, minor in Psych. He really enjoys making stuff, and also knowing way too much about how people’s minds work.

Koji Koda: Environmental Science. This wasn’t even a choice, it’s just what he’s doing. He’s also super involved in like 30 different clubs, from the sustainability club to the dog-walking club.

Rikido Sato: Graphic Design Major, Professional Writing Minor. He uses Comic Sans unironically, though, and his teachers always look pained during his presentations.

Mezo Shoji:  Business major, Marketing minor. Approaches college with the idea that he wants to get his money back. Very much. But he also doesn’t wanna go to med school.

#mha #mha headcanons #college majors #class 1a #mha characters #do with this what you will #headcanons #bnha #bnha headcanons #bnha bakugo katsuki #izuku midoriya #bnha izuku #todoroki shoto headcanons #mha todoroki #bnha denki #kaminari #shoto todoroki #college au #dont change my mind #tw bakugou's potty mouth #tenya iida #mha iida #mha jirou #mha mina #mha aoyama #mha sato #mha shoji #mha sero #mha kaminari #mha uraraka

[alarawriting]

52 Project #43: Dev Environment

People always want to know, how did I come up with it? And what they mean is, it’s so obvious, why was I the first, in centuries, millennia, of people practicing magic? Yeah, so the fact that magic became obscenely hard between the 15th century and the mid-20th had something to do with it, sure, but surely someone smarter than me should have come up with it? Someone from a great magical family, generations of mages, steeped in lore? Some prodigy who was doing magic since the age of 8? Hell, they’d settle for someone who went to Beaumonde or Gallagher, when they were actually at least teenagers, not someone who went to the Greye Academy at the age of 28 and had to pay for their education.  I’m supposed to be way low on the totem pole, barely one step up from someone who went to trade school to learn how to banish ghosts.

Let me tell you why that is bullshit. And to do that, I have to start by telling you a bit about my background.

I was a little boy in the 1970’s. Yes, I said boy, keep up, it’ll be important later. I know the people in the magical know were reeling from how magic blew up and expanded in 69, but for those of us who didn’t know jack about real magic, there was something that was magical to us, and that was computers.

You don’t know. To you it’s a tool, and it works well or it works badly. For us there was no question, it’s going to work badly, it’s going to hardly do anything you want and it’s going to screw that much up pretty often, but it was the future. And it was shiny! We knew our computers were shit, but it was the promise of them, the magic we predicted we’d be able to do as they got faster and smarter, that amazed us and compelled us. Some of us. Mostly nerds, mostly male, mostly white in this country because other races generally didn’t have the money lying around to buy what was, in those days, an expensive toy. But for those of us with access and a love of the things, they were magic.  And they were the shiny science fiction future we’d been promised, with flying cars and solar panels.

I was always into engineering stuff, but when I got my first computer, at the age of 10, I was hooked. Tinkering with the damn thing became the most fun activity I could think of, most of the time. When I was 14 I got a job with a hole in the wall mom and pop shop that built and repaired computers. It was a great relationship. They exploited the shit out of me because I was 14 so they didn’t have to pay me what they’d have to pay a college grad who knew this stuff, and I exploited them because I was getting paid more than minimum wage, at a time in most kids’ lives when they couldn’t even get a job flipping burgers, to do what I was going to do anyway. And that gave me an excuse why I wasn’t going to hang out with the other boys after school and I wasn’t gonna play sports and all that, because I wasn’t, but now I could say, sorry, guys, I’ve got a job. I had a few friends, nerds like me, who were also into computers but not quite as much as I was, and we used to hang out playing Atari, and later Nintendo and Sega, and I am absolutely sure that some of you have no idea what Atari was and barely recognize Sega, but you know what Nintendo is, so context.

Now, today, all the different things you can do with a computer are split up into separate skills. You’ve got your programmers, your system admins, your guys who climb under your desk and hook up your internet. Your data crunchers, your webmasters, all that. In those days, there were no divisions. Your computer was incredibly expensive and a piece of shit that could barely do anything, and parts you bought for it required extensive arcane knowledge. Know what a jumper is? That’s okay, you don’t need to anymore. So you knew how to install parts in your machine, how to maintain and upgrade it. And the software could barely do anything, so you learned how to program, how to debug, how to get around really lame DRM schemes – that part hasn’t changed – and hacks for your operating system. When the web showed up, then we learned HTML because we were pioneers and there was no Wix or Wordpress or anything making pretty sites for us.  About the only thing we didn’t routinely do that is a major IT profession nowadays was databases. I’m gonna admit it, the people who focus on that scare me. DBAs know things about their servers and how to optimize them that seemed to me, most of my career, to be high wizardry.

So in the 90’s, I didn’t get a college degree because I was too busy making money. By the time I was 18, I went into business with a friend of mine who was a half-decent salesman. Also, as I found out later, a lying sack of shit, so I ended up in the corporate world, doing whatever work I could get as a temp – nowadays we call ourselves “consultants” but back then it was the same word you use to describe the girl at the front desk who’s subbing for Jenny with the sore throat. I knew my value and I charged my value, so I got fired by a lot of agencies, but there were lots of fish in that sea.

By the time I was 25, I was rich. I had dot com stocks up my ass, and sweet IRAs, and a fuckton of liquid money in the bank, and more coming in, because I had experience like no one else did. I could say “I have been working on PCs for 11 years” and prove it. I was a network engineer, I was a programmer, I was a webmaster, and I could still build and repair PCs and fix Janice from accountings’ Lotus 1-2-3 spreadsheet.

I also had no significant other. I had no good relationship with my family – my dad wanted an entirely different kind of son, one who actually acted like his understanding of what a boy should be. I’m pretty sure you can guess why that was not me. So I had nothing to spend money on but my cats, and beer and pizza for my Shadowrun roleplaying group. Sweet new machines, fast for the time; great stereos, a projection TV, all that kind of stuff, but none of that put a dent in my salary. I realize this sounds like bragging, so let me clarify. It absolutely is. I was hot shit and it made me rich.

Also I had privileges I didn’t really understand until they were gone.

See, I was miserable, and I had a hard time figuring out what was wrong. Yeah, I played women in every role-playing campaign I’d ever joined, but a lot of guys did that, back then. I was throwing everything into my work so I wouldn’t have to be alone with my thoughts, because my thoughts were mostly about how bad and wrong I felt and I wished I could be somebody else. Specifically a female someone else. Yeah, you guys see where this story is going.

I was 25 when I figured out I was trans. 26 when I decided, fuck it, I’m made of money, I’m going to live as a woman. Also 26 when I discovered that a, your landlord absolutely could evict you for being trans back in those days, which by the way, in a lot of places, still can, and b, people who clocked me treated me like shit for being a man pretending to be a woman and people who didn’t clock me treated me like shit for being a woman in IT. I cannot tell you how many times, talking to some temperamental asshole client who thought this task was better handled by a man, I wanted to say, “Well, if you needed someone to fix your network with their penis, you should have said so!” and then whip it out. I did occasionally, doing phone support, transfer some caller who would only speak to a man to myself, talk in a deep voice, solve his problem, and then go back to my real voice and be all like, “So glad I could help you out today! I’m Lisa, and if you have any more problems, feel free to ask for me!”

It wore me down. I was lucky as shit – or rather, I had magic, but I didn’t know it then – that I’d grown up skinny and soft and pretty-boy, and as soon as I grew my hair, wore makeup and stuffed my bra, hardly anyone made me as trans. People in the 90’s were amazingly shitty to trans women, even more than today, and I’m sure every trans woman in this audience is thinking, “short of burning you at the stake, how could they have made it worse?” But see, I was in a big, liberal city, with friends who were nerds, and I lost all of them because they thought I was a freak. I couldn’t get jobs when my driver’s license still said Pete but I was wearing dresses and makeup, because whatever gift I had that prevented people from figuring out I was trans if they didn’t already know, it broke down as soon as they knew. I was rich, so I lived off my savings, but I didn’t have health insurance because back then you basically couldn’t if you didn’t have a job, and there are only so many doctors who would prescribe hormones and I was paying for them out of pocket. Worth it, but Jesus. I mean, some of you probably have stories that are a hell of a lot worse, I know, but it was bad.

I see some of you guys are a bit uncomfortable because I shared my deadname. Maybe because I say I used to be a boy. A lot of trans people don’t do it like that. They feel like, this is who I always was under the skin, I was always a girl regardless of how I looked. Or a guy, if they’re trans men. But I feel like, I can’t retcon my past. I thought I was a boy, therefore I might as well talk like I was. Women who change their names when they get married aren’t like “my name was always Smith” when they were born Jones on the birth certificate, so I figure, why should I?

Anyway. Then when I finally had docs telling the world I was Lisa and a shiny F on the license? Then I got condescending bullshit. I had been working on computers practically since I was out of diapers and these people were constantly testing me, talking over me, stealing my ideas… ladies, I’m sure a lot of you know this all too well. Up until this point, I had secretly harbored the belief that maybe my female co-workers who complained about harassment and not being taken seriously were… hmm… exaggerating things. No perspective. Making mountains out of molehills. No. Guys? They are absolutely telling the truth. They’re probably downplaying it in front of you. It’s not about their competence. I was hot shit on a stick and when I was a man, they all knew it and accepted it, and the worst I got was people thinking I was arrogant because I was too young to be so good at my job. Soon as I was a woman, here comes the second-guessing and the constant interruptions and dudes trying to flirt when I was trying to work. Still hot shit on a stick and frankly my dick was probably bigger than most of theirs, but long hair and lipstick and all of a sudden I don’t know shit.

I put up with this for two years and then quit. Fuck it. I’m gonna just write video games. Gonna quietly go crazy inside my apartment, with no friends because I’m not working and I never knew how to make friends outside of work, and I didn’t trust men because of my previous friends who dropped me, and I didn’t know how to make friends with nerdy women. Like, what are they into? If I start talking about the different colors of dragons or how the Force works, are they even going to know what I’m talking about? Short answer’s yes, by the way, and if you’re looking to make nerdy female friends, go where there is fanfic, but I didn’t know that then. So I’m all alone, spending 16 hours a day coding my video game because I’m so fucking lonely, if I stop coding I might realize how lonely I was and blow my brains out. I figured, I’d make the game, I’d sell it on the Internet – which was rapidly becoming a thing – and then I’d make another, ad nauseam, until somebody was willing to befriend me just because holy shit, I made this great video game. I had friends, sort of, if you count people I knew from the Internet who I’d never met in person, but honestly? Folks, those are acquaintances, most of the time. Not real friends.

Instead, the Greye Academy contacted me.

So I don’t need to explain to you all how this shit works. But I’m gonna anyway because I’m on a roll and hey, maybe some of you don’t know. Gallagher and Beaumonde and Ricelynn, they go scouting for teenagers. They find the ones who are prodigies, with magical spikes. Then they give them a free ride for either college, or high school that’s really college, depending on how old they are. Then they hit the ones who get rich up for donations, and they do top-notch magical research, oh, and probably they’ve got oneiromancers predicting the stock market from people’s dreams and whatnot. Yay, gravy train. Those mages are set for life.

Then there’s you. And me. The ones who have to pay for it. Older students. Students who didn’t spike as high as the big magic schools want, or didn’t pass the test. Or have neurodivergencies that don’t work well with We Are The Top Of The Line Most Academically Rigorous School Ever crap. Or, and I am being quite blunt here, people who aren’t living in communities full of really white gifted kids, because they can’t go looking everywhere, so they go where they know they’ll find a lot of kids who will probably grow up to make money with their magic, thus fat donations.

We mortgage our future to go to a goddamn magic school. We take out student loans. We attempt to explain to parents that magic is real and we want money to go to magic college. We do work study to pay for ballooning tuition. Or, in my case, I just spent all the money I’d made working in IT all those years, because fuck it, why not? I was miserable and the next stop on the train was a gun in my mouth, so if this turned out to be a scam, well, how was it going to make anything any worse?

Now, here is a thing you probably don’t know about IT. When you are programming and you’re working on something whose stability is important to you – it’s used by the company you work for to make millions of dollars, it’ll be really embarrassing if it breaks or looks weird, or you just need to keep control of what bugs happened when, you don’t write your program in the place it’s already running. You don’t make changes to the real thing. You make changes in the dev environment.

It stands for development environment. It’s ideally just like production, meaning real life, except that if you fuck it up it’ll be fine, you’ll be able to fix it and no egg on your face. Sometimes we have multiple such environments, like dev for the raw, new stuff, and test for where the raw new stuff goes when you’ve tested that it doesn’t break things horribly, and stage for where the tested stuff goes when you want to make absolutely sure it will work in prod, and then prod. Stage is generally maintained as identical to prod until the moment you check in your latest tested changes.

This is a thing everyone in IT knows. Or knew, back then, I guess nowadays we’re all specialized enough that maybe only programmers and system admins know it.  You don’t make changes to your production environment, because the consequences could be, your web store doesn’t work and no one buys product, or your reports stop running, or your reports run but the data is bad so the report is a lie, or no one can get into the document repository, or the Internet goes down. All things that are terrible, from the perspective of business. So you make your changes in the dev environment.

But I got over here, and I found out… you people make changes to real life! The ultimate production environment! All the time! And there are so many spells where if you mess up one little thing, you open a portal to space and get sucked into vacuum, or the candle you’re trying to light explodes and burns your building down, or you turn yourself into an orange and then someone eats you.  So you’re expected to do the spell perfectly. The first time. Every time.  While meanwhile you’ve got to manage knowing a dead foreign language fluently, and best if it’s more than one, and how is the position of the moon, the time of day and your latitude influencing your spell, and where’s the nearest ley line… it is absolutely no wonder Greye makes you sign waivers saying that if you die because you were performing magic, it’s not their fault. Like, do they do that at Beaumonde? I wouldn’t know, I never went there, but some of you are dropouts from there, right? Oh, they just mess with people’s memories so the family thinks it was an off-campus accident or something. Gotcha.

How in the fuck did human beings ever invent magic without blowing themselves up? How’d we ever get good enough at this stuff to write it down and teach it to new mages, when doing magic by trial and error generally gets most people very dead?

And that’s why no one at Greye Academy had come up with new spells for I-don’t-know-how-long. Because the curriculum’s not as harsh, people can keep up with it better, but that means they have to focus a lot more on teaching you how to do specific shit than on the theory that would allow you to get yourself into serious trouble.

Well. Fuck that. I didn’t go to magic college at the age of 28 to be a script kiddie, cutting and pasting together bits and pieces of other people’s spells when I don’t understand most of it, and hoping I don’t blow myself up.  I figured out that what magic needs is a dev environment.

Which meant, ironically, that I had to work my ass off to master theory, because what I wanted was not just a new spell, but a really complex new spell, that would replicate the real world as well as possible without, you know, the mass of the entire planet Earth being generated, and that most magic would not interfere with because if the magic you’re testing breaks your dev environment while you are personally in it, I thought that would probably be bad. Like don’t cross the streams bad. Ha! I see some of you smiling at that.  A few of you guys are as old as me, and for the rest of you, there’s DVDs and Netflix, right?

Even at Greye Academy, if you have a passion, a specific realm of study or a specific type of spell you want to do, and you need theory for it… there are professors who will help you. A lot of them. They didn’t go into the profession of being a magic professor to teach script kiddies either. They love theory. But probably they were working at Gallagher and they got drunk in class, or slept with a student, or maybe the rest of the faculty just didn’t like their face. Tenure’s hard to get in any college. I’m not gonna question why a professor might have ended up working at Greye even though they’re really talented. And nowadays… nowadays we are on the map. Nowadays we are where the cool kids go to practice really esoteric magic. So talk to your professors, and if you get nowhere, talk to some others.

Because here is where we can do world-changing magic safely. Here is where overusing magic doesn’t burn you up, it just cuts you off. Here is where I built the dev environment.

At first it was just me. But I needed an anchor. Portaling into a mirror is all well and good but if you straight-up portal into a mirror, you know you’re in an in-between nothing world until you get to the second mirror. So I was building my replica of reality in there, but it’s pretty constrained. There is honestly not a lot in the mirror world to build with.

Yes, you get into it with a mirror, but now the mirrors are portals to the anchored fractal dimension. Each time you invoke the spell on a mirror, you’re generating a new dev environment, which is frozen in the exact state the world was in when you made it. So you wanna know why your spell won’t work, you can rule out “maybe I cast it wrong for nighttime” by making a nighttime dev environment where you can try to debug it. And if you’re in there and you do anything that causes harm to yourself – changes in your state, the caster of the dev spell, collapse the environment unless you deliberately carve out an exception. Like I did when I figured out my sex change spell. Yeah, I know there are some magic libraries that already have one, but you know what, they are not at Greye. Changing your body physically at that level will break your dev environment, because regardless of the status of your soul, it’s still an intrinsic change – a radical change to your physical body. Same thing if you give yourself wings. You input exceptions for the category of magic you’re trying to perfect.

Initially I was terrified of the idea of collapsing the environment. What happens to you when you’re in a place that suddenly ceases to exist? It didn’t occur to me until later, what happens when you put a letter in an envelope and then you disintegrate the envelope but not the letter? Well, the letter falls on the floor. So the dev environment just dumps you into the real world if you do something that breaks it.

There are some advanced techniques like making stupid mooks to practice battle magic on, and one I call the Holodeck and if you’ve ever seen any of the newer Star Trek series, you can guess why. But you actually have to have enough mastery of theory to understand how the dev environment works to make those kinds of modifications, so don’t start with that. You wanna pretend to be a jazz singer in a 1940’s nightclub in a noir mystery, get one of the grad students or the faculty to do it for you. Or me if I’m not busy. I usually am busy though, and I don’t have office hours, so you know what, probably you will not be able to ask me. You can email me, though, and if your idea sounds cool enough I might just decide to help you out.

To the best of my knowledge, none of the other schools have implemented a dev environment yet. It’s not rigorous enough, they say. Fear of death or self-inversion keeps students better grounded and focused on getting it right, they say. You can’t actually do the magic in the real world with the safeguards of the dev environment, so what’s the point, they say.

The point is you can do damn near any kind of magic you want, and if it would harm the fabric of spacetime, draw too much magic and harm you, summon a god, or turn you into a newt when that wasn’t your objective… basically, almost anything… the dev environment collapses and kicks you out. Greye is the only school that’s got one. Because Greye is the only school that will take as a student someone who’s 28 and has already had a career in IT. Because it took someone who trained to make modern, mundane magic in the real world, on computers, to figure out how to make theoretical exploration of magic safe enough that students can play with it.

You guys may have been told you were going to a second rate school. Or you thought it was the best thing ever because woo, magic exists, and then you found out about those hoity toity assholes from Ricelynn and the like and now you feel like you’re going to a second rate school. You may also be thinking, “why am I spending so much money to go to a second rate school?” I am here to tell you that MIT is not in the Ivy league. There were probably some snobs once upon a time who were all like, “ooh, engineering college? How gauche. I’m getting a fancy Ivy League degree in making a lot of money.” And then some smart kid from MIT opened up a dot com and got much richer than them. MIT is an excellent school and people will stab each other’s eyes out to get in – not literally but sometimes it’s close – and just because it’s not Ivy League doesn’t make it not excellent.

I want you to understand. Here at Greye, we do engineering magic. Because we can. Because figuring out how shit works is a lot easier to do when you have a dev environment to practice in. I mean, you can still major in magical disaster cleanup and just learn rote spells, that’s a path and it’s worth good money. But if I were you, I’d take advantage of the fact that this is the only school in the world where you can practice insanely dangerous spells without getting hurt or destroying the world.

Okay. I’ve used up half our first session telling you why this is awesome and you should be proud of your school and you are lucky to get me for a professor. And you know all this is true because I have tenure despite saying “fuck” in front of my students. Now let’s get into the reason you’re all here and learn how to create one for yourself.

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Obligatory note: I am not myself trans, but I have drawn on the writings of various trans people in creating Professor Lisa here. The whole thing about referring to herself as a boy when she speaks of her childhood is a thing I have seen some trans people explicitly choose to do, for the reasons she gives. She is also somewhat inspired by Stacey, my younger brother’s best friend from high school, in that Stacey is a trans woman who was an engineer and worked with computers since she was very young. Lisa’s personality is very much not based on Stacey, though.

I was also thinking about The Magicians when I wrote this, but more the TV show than the book, as I kinda sorta hate the book.

#52 project #magical school #fantasy