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holylulusworld · 3 years

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A family man

Summary: What happens when Steve is not happy with his decisions?

Pairing: Steve Rogers x fem!reader, Sam x Reader (platonic), Bucky x Reader (platonic)

Characters: Wanda Maximoff, Clint Barton

Warnings: angst, language, pregnant reader, heartbreak, abandonment, Daddy!Steve, angry Sam (yes, he can get angry too), Sam & Bucky being good friends, fluff

Catch up here:

Part 1 - No, you won’t Part 2 - Some kind of love

Divider by @writeyourmindaway

“Goodbye, Steve Grant Rogers, my love, my heart, my everything…”

It’s a new beginning for you. You left your old life behind to start a new one.

When you sit on your front porch, watching the sunset you run one hand over your belly. “Only four months left, baby girl,” you whisper holding back the tears. “One day I’ll tell you about your father, the hero who saved the world more than once.”

“Y/N,” Sam watches you stare into the distance as you do so often lately. “We should talk about a few things. Bucky and I need to tell you something.”

“You’re going to marry,” you tease, giving Sam a wink. “We all know it’s a matter of time,” Sam sits next to you, laughing at your words. “You’re a good team.”

“A great one,” Sam exclaims. He slings one arm around your shoulders to offer comfort. “Buck and I will be on a mission for two or three weeks. Wanda will come around and check on you to make sure you’ve got all you need.”

“I’m a grown woman, you know,” Bucky nods, still, he’s worried to leave you alone. It’s the first time since Steve left that he and Sam can’t be around. “I depended on you way too long. We are friends, and I appreciate all you have done for me as Steve…,” your voice cracks and you need to wipe a few tears away.

“Nothing will change, doll. Sam and I will come around as often as we can. While we are away, Wanda will take over,” Bucky smirks when you roll your eyes. “Don’t talk back, Y/N. We are family, this means we will suffocate you with love…”

The moment Steve stepped onto the platform and didn’t see you he knew; just knew he made the wrong decision.

Whilst the quantum realm particles sent him back in time, all he could think about was the sadness in your eyes when you stood your ground against him.

Steve knew you played a role. He knew that you cried yourself to sleep that night, but he didn’t find it in him to crawl back to you.

Instead, he stepped onto the platform the next day, straightened his back, and looked his friends straight in the eyes.

Sam held his gaze but Bucky, well Steve’s oldest friend, the one he promised ‘till the end of the line’, looked away.

The world he found on the other side of time isn’t the one he wanted to live in, but Steve had no other choice – right? He burned all the bridges days ago, lost the woman who always loved him unconditionally for a dream.

“I can’t stay, Peggy,” Steve tried for six months to adapt to a life with Peggy, but he soon realized, there is no love on both ends.

Steve stuffs his hands into the pockets of his suit, shuffling on his feet as he feels something dig into the palm of his hand. Waking up to reality is cold, hard, and heartbreaking. Even worse when you find a positive pregnancy test in the pocket of your suit.

With shaking fingers Steve looks at the test in his hands, choking out a sob.

“How?” he whispers, wishing he never left you. “Doll—oh god, no. You’re all alone, my love.”

Steve doesn’t know Bucky hid the test he stole from your bin to make his best friend see – someone is relying on him.

“You’ve got to go, Steven,” Peggy whispers, gently cupping Steve’s cheek. “I know you believed we belong together, I did so too. But,” Steve gives Peggy a cracked smile, nodding silently. “If she’s with your child, you can’t leave her, Steve. You should’ve never left her for me.”

“I know, Peggy. I was a fool believing that I belong anywhere but by her side. I want to be a father,” Steve chokes out. “I still got time left.”

“Where do you want me to put this?” Wanda watches you place a picture frame onto one of the shelves at the nursery. “That’s one of Steve and you,” she whispers, not missing your pained expression.

“He’s her father, Wanda,” you swallow the lump in your throat, looking at a framed ultrasound picture. “One day my baby girl will ask me about her father, and I want her to know about him. He left me, not her. I was not enough, not my girl.”

“Y/N don’t say things like that,” Wanda watches you place another picture frame onto the shelf you nod, knowing it’s the ugly truth. “Steve didn’t know what he got when he had it.”

“Do you think I should get a dog?” you look around the room, watching Wanda hold back the words stuck on the back of her tongue. “Don’t, Wanda. I know you want to assure me I was enough, but I wasn’t. If not, Steve would be here.”

“A dog would be great. I always wanted to have one,” Wanda smiles when you tell her you grew up with dogs. “Aw, I’m jealous, Y/N.”

“Don’t be,” you laugh. “Most of the time they chased after me and stole my food,” you grin, remembering your dogs.

“Fuck,” Clint snickers at Sam’s outburst. “You’ve got to be shitting me, Steve! You left! Six months ago, you left your girl and now you are back in town and ask me about her whereabouts!”

“Sam let Steve explain why he’s back,” Bucky eyes his friend warily, knowing he must’ve found the pregnancy test. “Why did you come back, Stevie?”

“I regretted my decision the moment I heard Y/N close the door behind her. I was just too stubborn to admit that I can’t be without her,” Steve huffs. “I tried to make things work with Peggy but had to admit, she’s not the woman on my mind.”

“Great for you,” Sam is not amused. “I mean, you left Y/N six months ago for another woman. Now you come back here and intend to do what?”

“Get my girl back and raise my child with her,” Steve puffs his chest when he gets the pregnancy test out of his pocket. “Something tells me that a friend wanted me to know I am going to be a father.”

“It was for sure not me,” storming out of the room Sam slams the door shut. “Y/N deserves better…”

“You must understand, it was Sam helping Y/N to keep ongoing. He was the one driving her to the first ultrasound as I was away on yet another mission. Sam was the one seeing your baby first,” Bucky huffs. “I thought you would find the test before you leave. I had hoped you would change your mind not come back months later…”

“I had to give Peggy and me a chance, Buck,” Steve doesn’t believe his own words. “Shit, no. Maybe I was just afraid to come back and find Y/N in another man’s arms. I didn’t think that she’s pregnant with my child.”

“I mean,” Bucky huffs. “You are adults, had sex, unprotected if I recall right according to your naughty confessions and you wonder she got pregnant?”

“That’s not what I mean, Bucky…”

“I like the colors,” Sam looks around your almost finished nursery. Wanda did a great job,” you nod, looking at the kittens Wanda painted on one of the walls. “The kittens are cute.”

“Wanda’s idea. The tree and the family were my ideas,” you painted a family of bears under a tree. They are having a picnic. Sam smiles when he sees a ladybug sits on the little bear's nose. “What do you think Sam?”

“Hmm…” you watch Sam nervously chewing on his lower lip, not meeting your gaze. He seems to hide something from you. “We need to talk, Y/N.”

“Is it Bucky? Did he get hurt? Or one of the others? Sam?” Wanda’s eyes widen and she grasps for your hand when Sam tries to tell you Steve is back. “Sam, just tell me what’s going on.”

“He’s back,” Sam chokes out. You blink a few times in confusion, look at Sam for confirmation before your legs are about to give in. “Shit, Y/N.” Sam catches your fall before you can hit the floor. “Wanda, a chair and a glass of water.”

“Y/N, no…”

“Is this a joke, Sam? This isn’t funny, you know,” you sniffle. Wanda offers you a glass of water whilst Sam tries to calm you. “I finally adapted to a life without Steve. He can’t just come around after he lived a life with Peggy to check on me. I don’t want to see the ‘old’ Steve.”

“That’s not what I meant, Y/N,” Sam kneels next to you, gently squeezing your right hand. He looks up at you, giving you a soft smile. “He came back.”

“I don’t understand, Sam. Why would he come back? It’s not as if anything he wants waits in our time. Peggy is centuries away, just like the other Bucky,” Wanda watches you slump into yourself, not wanting anyone to see you are still heartbroken. “What does he want?”

“I am afraid he wants you,” Sam whispers, hand gently holding yours. “I told him to fuck off or something.” you laugh, squeezing Sam’s hand. He barely curses but if he does, Sam looks adorable. “I mean it, Y/N. You don’t have to see him.”

“Doll,” Steve sighs when you don’t open the door. Sam and Wanda guarded your house like hawks, didn’t let Steve get even close to your new home for over a week.

Today, Sam had to go on a mission and Wanda went for a grocery run so Steve took the opportunity and sneaked toward your house the moment Wanda left.

“Please, baby girl. I…I need to talk to you.”

“Why?” weakly you press the palms of your hands against the door. “I tried to move on and almost didn’t break down anymore only for you to come here and ruin my life once again.”

“Y/N, please. I know I fucked up, okay. Leaving you for a woman I barely knew was cruel, stupid, and the worst thing I ever did in my life. Please, let me at least see your face,” Steve begs, knocking at your door. “Please, doll.”

“You don’t deserve to see me,” you choke on your words when you turn your back toward the door, resting your back against the cool wood. “I don’t know why you came here, Steve. I am not enough…never was.”

“No, Y/N. I was never enough. I am a weak and pathetic coward, doll. It was me not deserving you but, please open the door,” your hands shake when you turn around to unlock the door. You take a deep breath before you face the man leaving you behind.

“What do you want, Steve? I don’t think there is anything I can offer,” you shriek when Steve kneels to wrap his arms around your waist. He peppers soft kisses to your swollen belly, sniffling your name repeatedly. “Steve…”

“Sam didn’t let me come here. Wanda was the same,” he pants, face nuzzling your belly. “Please, I want to be a better man for you. I will give the shield to Sam. From now on I’ll do anything to be the man you deserve. I want to be a family man,” you don’t know what to do as Steve is too strong for you to fend him off.

“Why now? When you left you were sure that you want to spend your life with Peggy, not me,” you sniffle, wiping a few tears off your cheeks. “Is it because you got to know I’m pregnant? Does Captain America feel responsible for the poor girl he impregnated? Is it your guilty conscience telling you to come here and take care of the disposed of girl you left behind?”

“Oh-Y/N,” Steve sighs, finally looking up at you. “I should have never left you, doll. I hurt you so deeply that you believe you never meant the world to me. I am so sorry, baby girl,” he whispers, getting up to wrap his arms around you.

Steve buries his face into your hair, inhales your scent deeply. He runs one hand over your back to soothe you when you start to cry.

“I love you so much, doll. How can I explain to you that I don’t know why I left you for Peggy? I don’t know how I could do so, but I regretted my decision the moment you closed the door behind you. I should’ve stayed but I was too blinded by my past to see my present.”

“You will leave again,” sobbing you hide your face in Steve’s chest. I was at my apartment a few days ago. I couldn’t forget about the shirt on the floor and your pillow. I…I sleep with your pillow to smell your cologne.”

“Sweetheart,” Steve’s heart breaks when you start to shake in his arms. “I hate myself for hurting you. I swear, I left to come here before I even knew you are pregnant. I told Peggy we will never work out. I never had sex with her.”

“Steve,” Sam storms into the house, Wanda, and Bucky hot on his heels as you hold tight onto Steve for dear life. “I told you to leave Y/N alone! Can you not for once think about someone else than yourself?”

“Sam,” Bucky places one hand onto Sam’s shoulder to calm his friend. “Look,” Bucky whispers, pointing toward you in Steve’s arms. “Let them talk things out. We can still kick Steve out when Y/N tells us so. It’s on her to decide if she wants to give him a second chance or not…”

Five years later...

“Daddy, daddy!” your daughter runs after Bucky, laughing as he acts as if he’s scared. “Look, I hunt Uncle Bucky and he’s scared,” Steve laughs watching Natasha Sofia run after his friend. “I bet I can catch Uncle Sammy too.”

“I know you can, sweetheart,” you smile, watching your five-year-old daughter chase after your friends. Sam runs slower to make sure Natasha can catch him, faking he’s too slow to run away. “Just don’t stumble again, Nat.”

“I won’t mommy! Daddy showed me how to run faster than Uncle Sam,” Sam makes a face, looking at Steve. “To your left, Uncle Sammy…” Natasha squeals, finally catching up with Sam.

“How do you feel, doll?” Steve runs one hand over your huge belly, humming as you close your eyes to enjoy his touch.

“How are Sam jr. and Bucky jr.?” Bucky asks. “Can we finally decide on a name? “Maybe we can name both after me.”

“I want one to wear my name,” Sam interjects. “Now let Y/N rest a bit before she agrees to name both after me.”

“Hey! I never agreed to name my boys after one of you,” pointing toward both men you narrow your eyes.

“We can make more and name them after our friends,” grinning Steve looks at you, something dirty in mind. “Just saying, we can always have more kids.”

“You’re lucky if I ever let you touch me again.” you huff. “I got one daughter chasing after our friends. A baby boy sleeping in his crib and two baby boys in my belly.”

“Doll,” your husband grins, hands running over your baby bump again. “I can’t help myself; I love seeing you full of my babies.” Steve whispers something dirty into your ear, making you giggle. “I’ll check on Steve jr. and you can sit here to enjoy our baby girl’s birthday and I’ll be right back.”

Watching Steve walk into your house you smile. Over the last five years, he showed you that he deserved a second chance.

The first months after he came back were difficult to you. You needed time to adjust to life with Steve being around again.

“He changed for you,” Bucky bounces your daughter on his leg, smiling as his friend carries your baby boy out of the house, smiling widely.

“I know. He became a family man for me…”

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mercerislandbooks · 3 years

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For the Love of the Rom-com

While I read across genres in the Young Adult section, I have a soft spot in my heart for the rom-com. Though this genre might come across as light and fluffy, in actuality the form is able to take on topics as varied as mental health, identity, immigration, racism, and grief, to name only a few. Sure there’s romance, escapism, and happy endings, but what kept me picking up one YA rom-com after another in the last month was the window into the lives of each protagonist. More than ever I’m seeing #ownvoices authors tell stories that reflect their particular experience with the characters that they hadn’t seen in novels as young people. In turn I get a glimpse into a life different than my own and subsequently widen my world view. Here’s a collection of some of my recent reads!

Counting Down With You by Tashie Bhuiyan

The debut novel from this Bangladeshi American author (and the first novel I’ve read by a Bangladeshi American) takes the fake dating trope and turns it into a thoughtful exploration of expectations across cultures. Karina Ahmed is a high school junior buckling under the weight of Bangladeshi parental expectations and coping with anxiety largely on her own. They want her to be a doctor. She secretly longs to be an English teacher. When her parents take a month-long trip back to Bangladesh, leaving Karina and her younger brother in the care of their grandmother, Karina is looking forward to a much needed break. But her quiet month is almost immediately disrupted when, through a series of circumstances, she is roped into pretending to be Ace Clyde’s girlfriend, Midland High School’s bad boy. As the two slowly get to know, appreciate, and, of course, fall for each other, they also encourage and call out each other’s strengths. Bhuiyan movingly portrays the complex experience of a Bangladeshi American female teen, trying to meet the expectations of her more traditional parents, navigate managing her anxiety, dealing with the double standard of her gender within her culture, and learning to stand in her own power.

Tokyo Ever After by Emiko Jean

Given this cover, I expected something totally different from what the pages held. The main character of this “lost princess found” novel is anything but sweet and demure, the impression I had from the cover. Japanese American Izumi (Izzy) Tanaka is living her best average life with her single mother in the small Northern California town of Mt. Shasta. When she finds out that her previously unknown father is actually the crown prince of Japan, her world turns upside down. Once this knowledge goes public, Izzy is whisked away to Japan to get to know her father and become acquainted with the rest of her family. Having always felt out of place as one of the few minorities in her town, Izzy is hopeful that she’ll finally find a place where she belongs. But life at court is more complicated than Izzy can imagine, and she finds that in Japan she’s too “American.” Izzy’s voice is suffused with humor, so even as she struggles to fit in, her inner monologue made me laugh out loud. A slow burn romance with a hot bodyguard, backstabbing cousins, and relentless paparazzi shenanigans only add to the delicious fun. There’s talk of a sequel in 2022!

Better Than The Movies by Lynn Painter

The premise of girl uses boy next door, with whom she (seemingly) shares a mutual dislike, to get to the boy she crushed on in childhood that has just moved back to town manages to squeeze in a slew of rom-com tropes with witty breeziness. Liz makes a deal with boy next door Wes that she will relinquish the parking spot they feud over daily if he will help her get a date to Prom with childhood crush Michael. Of course it ends up being more complicated than that. Liz is confident and comfortable in her own quirky skin, but is also still dealing with the grief of losing her mother, which seems to be hitting her more sharply as all the “lasts” of senior year are happening. Spending time with Wes in her efforts to get close to Michael, Liz realizes that maybe she doesn’t hate him as much as she thought she did. Movie lovers will appreciate that each chapter is headed by quotes from the rom-coms that Liz obsesses over. I appreciated the balance of snarky banter with an honest portrayal of the complicated relationship Liz has with her grief.

Love in English by Maria E. Andrew

I’d been meaning to read Love in English for months and finally picked it up. Ana and her mother have recently moved to New Jersey from Argentina to join her father, who’s been living in the United States for some time. In Argentina, Ana thought her English was pretty good, but finds that navigating high school in America is a daily struggle in understanding her classmates and teachers. Andrew uses blocks of ##### to show the parts of conversations Ana misses, drawing the reader into her confusion and frustration. Reading this novel, I was reminded of when my family hosted a Japanese exchange student in high school, and the hours she spent translating her homework from English to Japanese. Reading what it was like for Ana, I had a glimpse into what it might have been like for Miki, and it made me admire her, and all the people who come to the United States not knowing the language. I’m certainly not proficient in any other language than English. The short chapters are interspersed with Ana’s handwritten ESL journal entries, musings on the confusions of the English language and poems that play with varieties of word meanings. Ana is attracted to a cute boy in her math class, Harrison, but also bonds with fellow ESL student Neo, who is from Greece. While romance is a central thread in the story, what I found most compelling was the portrayal of what it’s like to live in a place where the ability to communicate and comprehend is limited. Ana’s perseverance and curiosity in the face of that challenge is inspiring.

The Quantum Weirdness of the Almost-Kiss by Amy Noelle Parks

Last but not least I decided to continue my theme of YA rom-coms in my current audiobook and cued up The Quantum Weirdness of the Almost-Kiss. Set at an elite boarding school for math and science prodigies, this is a dual POV narrative Evie and Caleb, best friends since childhood. Evie is one of the few females at their prestigious school, and excels in math and physics, but hasn’t shown any interest in the opposite sex until new guy Leo catches her eye - with his physics proof. When Evie decides romance might be worth exploring with Leo, Caleb has to figure out how to be supportive, despite the fact that he himself is also secretly in love with Evie. Alternating chapters between Caleb and Evie’s POV mean that we get to see what’s going on internally for both of them as Evie embarks on her first relationship with Leo, Evie and Caleb team up for a national physics competition, and the course of love takes twists and turns. While there is plenty of swoony romance, I also loved the way that Evie has grown to learn to live with her anxiety and how she sets the boundaries she needs to take care of herself while also pushing herself beyond her comfort zone. Parks does an excellent job of making the all the math and physics approachable for the layperson.

There are many more YA rom-coms to choose from in the Teen section, so stop by and see what catches your eye!

— Lori

#island books #lori robinson #ya romcom #counting down with you #tashie bhuiyan #ownvoices #tokyo ever after #emiko jean #better than the movies #lynn painter #love in english #maria e andrew #the quantum weirdness of the almost-kiss #amy noelle parks #summer reading #librofm

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ygo5dsmonth2021 · 3 years

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Yu-Gi-Oh 5Ds Month 2021 Prompts!

Your prompts for 2021! Please note, they are only a suggestion, you can make something else, AND you can always submit something late!

Day 1 (7/7): Yusei Go!

Time to kick off the next Yu-Gi-Oh 5D's month with our shooting star protagonist, Yusei Fudo! Make sure to also wish your favorite star boy happy birthday!

Day 2 (7/8): Well-Oiled Machine

This year's theme is D-Wheels/Duel Runners! Which bike is your favorite? Or what would your own custom bike look like?

Day 3 (7/9): Yin & Yang

The clash of good vs evil, equal and opposite, light and dark, is such a classic! What two sides of the same coin in this dynamic stands out to you?

Day 4 (7/10): Training Wheels

With a blast of pure, raw energy comes Rua/Leo! He might not be the best at what he does, but his determination and love for his sister is the stuff that makes us root for him!

Day 5 (7/11): Synchro Power!

Riding duels wouldn't be complete without the gorgeous, star power of synchro monsters! Which synchro makes you want to accelerate most?!

Day 6 (7/12): Driving Slow on Sunday Mornings

Everybody knows the first rule of driving is to crank up the tunes! Would that be any of the OPs or EDs or did you have another song in mind to drive by?

Day 7 (7/13): Slow & Steady

Say hello to fairy tales with Ruka/Luna's day! She's a bit on the shy side, retreating into fairy tales, but don't let that fool you! Ruka has the skills and the sarcasm to come back swinging!

Day 8 (7/14): Time for an Upgrade

5D's is a unique Yugioh series in that so many characters come chock full of awesome powers! Psychics duelists, Signer powers, and advanced synchro summoning? Which personal power upgrade is your favorite?

Day 9 (7/15): New Suits

All the characters have unique styles and outfits, but maybe you'd love to see Ruka cosplay as a fairy? Maybe Kiryu dressed as a zombie? What outfits or cosplay speak to you?

Day 10 (7/16): Pit Stop 1

Congrats! You made it to Free Day 1! Use this day to introduce yourself, throw up a quick doodle, or take a break and relax. The pit crew will take care of the rest.

Day 11 (7/17): Blackbird

Fly off into the sky with Crow, the Bullet, Hogan! He might seem rough and scrappy, but Crow also has a heart of gold that cares for kids, friends, and family. Show this bird of a feather some love!

Day 12 (7/18): Don't Game and Drive!

Of course, we wouldn't have card games on motorcycles if this were true! What's your favorite Yu-Gi-Oh 5D's video game to play when you're not driving? Legacy? Duel Links? Over the Nexus?

Day 13 (7/19): Across Land and Sea

There are so many different storylines and arcs in 5D's! Was the Fortune Cup your favorite? Maybe Crash Town? What arc speaks to you?

Day 14 (7/20): Wheel of Fortune

All hail the King, Jack Atlas! This man burst onto stage and into our hearts. Jack might be a little selfish and over the top, but he cares deeply for his friends, and, apparently, coffee.

Day 15 (7/21): Decals

Do you have some 5D's merch on hand? Maybe a commission you treasure? A keychain you've had your eye on if only you had the funds? What's some of the best merch you're happy to have out in the world?

Day 16 (7/22): Quantum Realms

In another universe... Would Aki make a great pirate? Perhaps Yusei would be a dashing swordsman? What if Crow switched place with Qrow from the RWBY universe? Whatever you come up with, enjoy AU day!

Day 17 (7/23): Bloody Kiss

Pitch dark flowers unfurl in the name of Aki Izayoi! Never underestimate this dark beauty and her thorns! Have a day to honor this Black Rose.

Day 18 (7/24): Broken Down

Our emotions can flow one way to the other. Some days we're on top of the world, and others we're at the bottom of the ocean. Our favorite characters are no exception. Will you lean into the angst or give your fave a break today?

Day 19: (7/25): You Give Bikers a Bad Name

Here's to the villains! No heroic journey would be complete without the antagonists in the way to challenge our heroes! Which villain is your favorite?

Day 20 (7/26): Pit Stop 2

Phew! Congratulations, you made it to the next Free Day! Take this day to relax, keep things lowkey, and let the pit crew take the steering wheel for a bit.

Day 21 (7/27): Delta Eagle

Obtain Clear Mind today with Bruno! He's a little bit complicated, okay, a lot complicated, but Bruno's role is certainly interesting. What do you love about this dual-life mystery man?

Day 22 (7/28): Workshopping at the Garage

What's your favorite writer, artist, editor, or cosplayer? Take this day to give each of your faves that continues to keep the fandom a live a shout out!

Day 23 (7/29): Team Spirit!

5D's is all about the teams and teamwork to get the job done! What team speaks to you most and why? Is it the snazzy uniforms?

Day 24 (7/30): Giganto L

Depression, thy middle name is Kiryu Kyosuke. This man has seen some sh*t and then some. But Kiryu has also grown through his journey, and it's time to give him the credit he deserves.

Day 25 (7/31): Bonding with Your Biker Gang

It's OC appreciation day! Does your friend have a cool OC? Did you make a self insert to join the characters in their story? Show us where your OCs fit in!

Day 26 (8/1): Life is a Highway

It's travel day! Did you just love some of the locations the characters went to? Did you wish you could have seen Misty in Paris? Or maybe Ruka traveling to Australia could be fun? Take today to make a post card or show us screenshots of the best locations in the show!

Day 27 (8/2): Intersections

Ah, intersections, like crossroads of destiny. Except today is Crossover day! Maybe you wish Team 5D's met Avatar Korra? Or what would the Sk8 anime crew do in the 5D's universe?

Day 28 (8/3): Crewmates

We can't forget the other characters out of the spotlight that make the whole show complete! Show Martha some love, or Rally! It's their turn to shine!

Day 29 (8/4): Planetary Gears

What star-crossed ships just seem to fit perfectly together? Or do you want to show off a crack ship for fun? Maybe you have an OC you ship with a Canon character? Never underestimate the love of friendship either! Today is all about love!

Day 30 (8/5): Pit Stop 3

Be proud of yourself and take a breather! You made it to the last Free Day! Use today to take a breather to make it to the final stretch and finish strong! You can do it!

Day 31 (8/6): Over the Horizon

Our last day is here, such a bittersweet ending but at least there will be next year to look forward to! Take today to look over the horizon, towards the future, hoping for better days and times together.

#ygo5ds-month-2021 #yugioh 5ds #ygo5ds #5ds #yusei fudo #crow hogan #jack atlas #bruno #antinomy #kiryu kyosuke #kalin kessler #aki izayoi #akiza izinski #rua and ruka #leo and luna

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speechlessxx · 4 years

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A Year (Steve Rogers x Reader)

Summary: Steve realizes he doesn’t belong in the past.

Warnings: I’m undoing Steve’s Endgame ending (I didn’t like it I’m sorry not sorry), hurt feelings, angst, also the Quantum Realm stuff is confusing so in this a week in the past is a year in present-day. Time travel is confusing.

Word Count: 3.3k

Feedback is appreciated and I hope you enjoy!

“I think we need to quit while we’re ahead,” Steve told you. You were shocked. You opened your mouth to speak – to object – but you quickly shut it.

The team had just come back from the time heist. You stayed behind. Your older brother, Tony, told you it was a safety precaution. If anything looks out of the ordinary, you pull them all back. They were flashed away, and in a minute, they were back.

They all had grins on their faces, each team retrieved their designated stones. But Clint had a somber expression on his face as he fell to a knee. The thud had everyone’s head snapping to his direction as the cheery atmosphere quickly decimated. “Clint, where’s Nat?” Bruce asked his smile quickly fading. But Clint didn’t need to answer. Natasha’s absence made it clear. She was gone.

“Is this about Natasha?” You finally asked. Your head was spinning. He shook his head. You withdrew your hands from Steve’s and looked up at him with teary eyes. “Steve? Why?”

His jaw clenched as he looked away from you. He couldn’t look you in the eyes. “I… I think it’s better if we ended it, (Y/N).” His voice broke at the end as he choked back his own tears. He had a speech. He had it planned in his head. But it all went out the window when you stared up at him with those glossy eyes.

Steve thought you’d argue. You were good at arguing. You had a talent for it. He prepared himself for your outburst – in fact, he wanted you to yell at him. But you just nodded. “Goodbye, Steve,” you whispered before walking out the door and leaving the Avengers Compound – and Steve – for good. As soon as you were completely alone, your hand fell to your womb as you cried even harder.

Steve believed he was doing the right thing. In his and Tony’s separate mission to get the Tesseract and extra Pym Particles, he saw her. Peggy Carter, his first love, was mere feet away – a glass window stood between them. And Steve felt awful about the longing feeling that crept into his chest.

He had once imagined a future with Peggy. It was all ripped away from him when he nosedived into the ice.

He was thrust into a new, modern world. Boiled food items weren’t the only thing on the menu, the internet made everything accessible (not that he understood it all that much), gas prices were higher. He was displaced, but Steve adapted. He clung onto what he knew best – being a soldier.

He met you months after the first Avengers team up. Tony Stark’s little sister. You were all the Brainiac that your brother was but less arrogant (though you were just as snarky). Tony invited the team – though Thor was a bit preoccupied in the other worlds – back to New York for a charity gala. Steve saw you for the first time in a navy-blue gown with a sweetheart neckline. He eyed you for hours until Natasha accidentally (it was not) pushed him into you. His face had turned beet red as he profusely apologized. After that, you two spent the entire evening together and quickly became inseparable (much to Tony’s dismay, but he liked the idea of you with a good man… he’d never admit that though).

Everything he imagined he’d have with Peggy, he saw it with you. He had your future together so vividly outlined and painted in his mind. It was a true masterpiece.

But then he saw Peggy again. And it only felt right.

A year had passed since Tony’s death – a year since Natasha’s. A year since Steve took the stones and returned them. The plan was for him to return, too, but all that came back was a long letter attached to the shield. You were told that he returned to the past, but you knew what it meant. He returned to her. Bucky offered to give you the letter – “Steve’s farewell address” as Sam called it – but you refused. You didn’t need another goodbye. You told yourself if Steve was happy, then you’re happy.

-=+=-

But Steve wasn’t happy.

The first day he knocked on Peggy’s door and she opened it with a shocked expression. “Steve,” she gasped, wrapping her arms around him, “you came back.” They shared their long overdue dance, but something felt off. She didn’t fit in his arms the way you did. He felt as if he was jamming the wrong puzzle pieces together. But Steve told himself that he made his decision. He’d have to stick with it.

“I’m married, Steve,” Peggy admitted to him. “The dance is nice and all, but … you don’t belong here.” She shook his head at him. She looked deep into Steve’s eyes with a frown. “There’s someone else out there for you, but … it’s not me.” Peggy released herself from his arms and shut off the record player.

He spent a week in the past, keeping his head low. Peggy and her husband offered to let him stay with them for the time being. Steve didn’t know why he stayed in the past for as long as he did.

Perhaps he was looking for a reason to stay, but deep-down Steve knew. He didn’t want to return to the present knowing he had hurt you. He was wrong for doubting the love he had for you. When Peggy had told him there’s someone else out there for you, his mind instantly went to you and your teary eyes. The last time he saw you, you were crying because of him.

He just knew he had to right his wrongs.

-=+=-

“Nathaniel,” you said sternly as you tried to feed your baby his bottle. The pot on the stove started to release some smoke. “Bucky, little help?”

Bucky laughed as he took the infant from your arms, allowing you to refocus on cooking. “Okay, little man, you heard your mama… Say ahhh.” It took a few moments, but Nathaniel finally obliged and opened his mouth. Bucky fed him and then soon began to burp him.

“Oh, he’s so big!” A voice called out. “Look at you! (Y/N), he’s gonna be a future lady killer.” Sam emerged with gift bags in hand. Nathaniel grew excited upon seeing him. Sam cooed at the baby that rested in Bucky’s arms for a few moments before walking up to you. He gave you a friendly peck on the cheek and giving you a tight hug. “And Happy Birthday to you, (Y/N).”

Hours later, your guests started arriving at the Stark Tower. (Tony had left it to you as a parting gift after he and Pepper moved into their cabin. “It’s as much yours as it is mine,” Tony told you. “I mean we share the last name.”). The party was intimate. Your closest friends – the ones who’ve been with you every step of your pregnancy – were the only invitees.

You cooed at your baby in your arms. His eyelids grew heavy as he curled deeper into your arms. You smiled before putting him in his crib. You stared at him, admiring your creation, although your heart did ache. He looked so much like his father.

You grew teary eyed once again. You bit your lip to stop the sob. “C’mon, (Y/N), there are guests downstairs,” you told yourself. “Pull yourself together.”

“Hey, doll,” a soft voice whispered. You turned to meet Bucky’s soft eyes.

“Sorry,” you muttered, wiping away your tears. “Hormonal.”

“C’mere,” Bucky motioned for you and you walked over to him. He knew it was more than just hormones. He engulfed you in his arms, rocking you both side to side slightly.

After Steve’s departure, you and Bucky found solace in one another. Bucky thought it was an unlikely friendship – he did kill your parents after all. But you found comfort in the once super assassin despite his misdeeds to your family. (To you, it wasn’t Bucky who killed them). Although Bucky didn’t agree, you felt as if you were both tossed aside by the same man.

You didn’t even get the chance to tell Steve you were pregnant. You didn’t tell anyone. Bucky was the first person you told. You begged him to keep it to himself. You were hellbent on going through it alone, but Bucky was the one who rallied everyone behind you. Pepper, Sam, Clint, Bruce, Wanda – he made sure you weren’t alone.

After you gathered yourself, you returned to the small get together. You chatted amongst your guests for a while before Wanda excitedly clapped, “okay! Presents time!” Everyone took turns giving your gifts. You told them they didn’t need to, but everyone insisted.

“Best for last!” Bucky called out. He stood up from your side, sifting through the mess of wrapping paper to find his gift. “Aha!” He called out, triumphantly lifting a neatly wrapped box.

“Hello?” A voice called out from the elevator entrance. You felt the color drain from your face, instantly recognizing it. Everyone else frowned as they turned towards hallway and out emerged, Steven Grant Rogers.

“Steve?” Sam said in disbelief.

Bucky’s eyes glanced from you to his friend. You were shaken. It was as clear as day. You sat stiff and tense in middle of the couch, your wide eyes were trained to the floor and your jaw was so clenched he was afraid you’d break your teeth.

“What – it’s great to see you,” Pepper greeted, similarly shocked.

“Likewise,” Steve nodded. You felt your heart thudding against your sternum as your ears grew hot. “Everyone… It’s great to see you all.” He licked his lips nervously as he walked into the heart of the party, the living room. “Happy Birthday, (Y/N)…”

Attention quickly shifted to you. Your hands had clenched into fists and were shaking. Everyone knew what was coming. You had kept it all in for a year… It was bound to come out.

They were expecting rage, but all you said was a quiet, “get out.”

“(Y/N) – “ Steve began.

“GET THE FUCK OUT.” You finally snapped. Everyone winced. There was the rage they were waiting for. A year of bottling it all up had you finally exploding. You quickly stood up and stomped over to Steve. You grabbed his arms and began to pull him towards the elevators, but the super soldier didn’t budge. “Get the fuck out of my home, Steven.”

“(Y/N), please – “

“No! You don’t get to come back, Steve!” You screamed, your tears running down your face. “You left. Remember? You broke up with me and then you left. You went back to Margaret freaking Carter. My brother died saving the universe and you left!” You pointed at Bucky. “Remember him? Your pal, your buddy, your Bucky,” Steve winced at your harshness. “You fought so hard to get him back. You fought against my brother to save him. And you ditched him like you ditched me. I don’t want to know why you’re back. I don’t care. Get the fuck out of my home, Steve. You son of a – “Your anger quickly diminished as soon as you heard it. It was faint. The thick walls of the tower muffled it, but you heard it. “Oh, god, Nathaniel.” You rushed back up the stairs.

It was as if he had sensed your anger because he surely couldn’t have heard your yells through the walls. You took him in your arms as you began to coddle him, shushing and cooing at him to ease him. “I’m sorry, baby,” you whispered, tears still falling. “Mama’s sorry.”

Steve wanted to follow you. He was confused. Nathaniel? He took two steps before both Sam and Bucky stopped him. They shook their heads, silently telling him it wasn’t the best idea. “I – I …” Steve stuttered but nothing came out. “I’m sorry, Buck. Sam.” He finally said. “I’m sorry to all of you. I shouldn’t have left the way I did especially after Tony… I’m sorry Pepper.”

“I’ve made my peace with it,” Pepper smiled sadly.

“We all got over you leaving, eventually,” Sam said.

Bucky pointed up the stairs. “But she hasn’t…”

“Everything happened so fast, Steve… One minute you loved her, the next you told her you wanted to end things. Then, her brother dies. On top of everything, she was pregnant… She put on a brave face for us,” Bucky sighed. “She told herself she’d survive for her baby and that’s what she did… But man, she struggles daily…”

“She was pregnant?” Steve asked. Why didn’t you tell him?

“And you come back on her birthday of all days?” Sam scoffed.

“I have a kid?”

“No,” Bucky shook his head. “She has a son. You can’t waltz back in here after a year and have your old life back, Steve. It may have been – what a week? – for you, it’s been a year for us.”

“But I’m back… for good. I swear,” Steve said. “I… I don’t belong in the past. I never did. I belong here. I just want to talk to her.”

Sam and Bucky shared a look. Sam nodded but Bucky stayed still. He looked back at his oldest friend with a glum expression. “If she wants you out, you leave. Got it?”

“Buck – “

“I mean it. You weren’t here for a year, but I was. I was the one who held her when she broke down. I was the one who force fed her when she refused to eat. I was the one who got her out of bed. I was the one who was there when they delivered her baby. You weren’t there for her for a year.” Bucky snapped. “So, if she wants you out, you leave. No ifs, ands or buts. Got it?”

“I do,” Steve nodded. “I do.”

-=+=-

Steve wasn’t sure which room it was, but then he heard, “it’s okay, baby… Mama’s here.” He followed your voice to a dimly lit room – the only light was a crescent moon lamp that was hung on the wall. He leaned against the doorframe of the room, admiring the nursery.

The walls were painted a light, sky blue. There was a white wooden crib and a matching wooden shelf. (They were housewarming presents from Clint’s family). The room was very neat for a nursery. The toys were tucked away in crates and everything was organized.

He watched you as you bounced your baby. You softly whispered sweet nothings to his ear, lulling him to sleep. Steve felt a pang in his chest. It dawned on him that he missed a year of this. Soon, the baby was fast asleep, and you placed him back in the crib.

You stared at him again. You always did. An 18-hour labor brought you this miracle, so, of course, you would admire him. He was never fussy, never too difficult. (You liked to think karma gifted Nathaniel’s calm temperament to you because of all the shit you had to go through). He looked so much like Steve. Except your eyes. He got your eyes.

“Come look,” you whispered. You knew he was in the room. You could always feel when Steve was nearby. Steve detached himself from his position, eager to get a glimpse of your child.

“He’s beautiful,” Steve muttered in absolute awe.

“Nathaniel Anthony Stark,” you said, softly. “He was 8.6 pounds. 18-hour labor. Healthy pregnancy.”

“I’m glad.”

You sniffled but quickly wiped away your tears. “The pushing part, though… God, I hated you.” Steve frowned and glanced at you. You looked back at him. The same teary look you had given him when he broke up with you. “I never talked about you after you left, but when the labor pains kicked in, god,” you chuckled, “I cursed you out so much. I wish Bucky recorded it.”

Steve smiled a bit. “I’m glad he was there for you.”

“I think he felt responsible,” you shrugged. “His best friend knocked up his girlfriend, broke up with her, then chased an old flame.”

“I’m sorry,” Steve sighed. “Can we talk somewhere else?” You nodded and led him into the hallway.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” you said as soon as the door was shut. “I… I just saw you and the rage – I should’ve controlled myself.”

“I deserved it,” Steve assured you. “You deserved a decent explanation and I couldn’t give you that.”

“I didn’t give you much of a choice… I just left,” you shrugged. “But I know how you get. If you made up your mind, it’s a done deal. No use in arguing.”

“I was conflicted,” Steve admitted. “When Tony and I went back, I saw her, and I reminisced. I remembered everything I wanted with her…” Your face fell. “I went back with the intention of staying there.”

“I think I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want an explanation.”

“No, please,” Steve begged. “Please, (Y/N).” You bit your lip and sighed before nodding. “I made a mistake. I knew it when Peggy and I were dancing.”

You smiled at that. “You finally got your dance with her.” You remembered the story. You remembered how your heart broke for Steve when he first told you.

“I did,” Steve nodded. “But it didn’t feel right.” You frowned at that. “Peggy and I aren’t meant to be. I know that now. We don’t… we don’t fit. Her life went on without me. Time moved on. And I moved on, too… with you. I remembered a time when I wanted a future with Peggy, but I can’t envision it. Not anymore.

“But when I think of the future with you… I see a wraparound porch and a sweet home by the lake. I see Christmas trees decorated every year and Thanksgiving dinners. I see a ring around your finger – a simple diamond. You weren’t like Tony… you were never really into flashy things. I see a family,” he gestured towards the nursery. “I want all of that with you.”

“My life has been on a standstill ever since you left,” you confessed. “I can’t bring myself to move on. I couldn’t. I saw a future with you and only you. And then you were gone, I didn’t want a future anymore. But I had Nathaniel. I had to keep going if not for me, then for him.” You looked at Steve with those same teary eyes.

“You broke me, Steve. I can’t even explain how it felt. I woke up every day and I felt like I was in hell. I can’t… I can’t go through that again. I won’t.”

“Then, don’t…” Steve said. He reached for you and you let him hold you in his arms. “I’m sorry. I’m so incredibly sorry. Words can’t describe my regret. I swear to you, on my life, I will never abandon you again. I’m here for good. And I’ll never leave.”

“You shouldn’t promise that,” you shook your head. “Something will always – “

“You’re my present and you’re my future.” Steve promised. “You don’t have to forgive me yet, but I want to make it up to you and Nathaniel if you’ll let me?”

You looked at Steve before sighing. “Okay,” you nodded. “Okay, Steve.”

“I love you.” He blurted out. His eyes widened in realization. “You don’t have to say it back… Not yet. But, it’s the truth… I love you and I’ll love you until I die and even after then.” You smiled at him softly before nodding.

“Okay, Steve.”

You wanted to say it back. It only felt natural to do so. But you restrained yourself. You wanted to heal the relationship with Steve first.

(But soon enough, after several long months, and many of Steve’s I love you’s only to be met with an “Okay Steve”… You were able to return those three words).

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #steve rogers imagine #chris evans imagine #chris evans x reader #chris evans #angst #fan fic #marvel #captain america x reader #captain america #captain america imagine #imagine #fiction #fluff

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cmdonovann · 1 year

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oh yeah, i got obsessed with making blinkies on blinkies.cafe a while back and made these, then edited the colors on them (also, i made the clock run backwards on the time egg one, hehe). feel free to steal these and use em for stuff, lol, i just think theyre neat :3

#quantum break #quantum break appreciation month #blinkies #quantum break fan club #the time egg is fucked!#time traveler #beth wilder deserved better #anyway yes i love making blinkies and i will probably make more lol #im gonna put some of these on my website at some point haha

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wherethewordsare · 3 years

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Sweater Weather- Mutual Pining for Jay’s 400 Follower Bingo!!

He’d found it after a movie night, draped over the back of the couch. He held it up to confirm and yep. There was no mistaking the hood and the bulky black sleeves. It looked like it may have gone through the dryer about twelve times too many and the zipper pull was barely hanging on. He let his thumb rub against the hem of the sleeve, shaking his head. Jaskier tucked the hoodie under his arm as he pulled out his phone, smiling to himself.

geralt

u left ur hoodie

its cold and everything how do u forget that

ur worse than ciri smh

Just hold onto it, I’ll grab it next time.

And I am not worse than Ciri. I’m not the one who’s left his phone in the Denny’s bathroom at 2am…. Twice…

Last month.

shhhhh :P

Throwing his phone down, Jaskier went to his closet. He was going to just hang up the hoodie and Geralt would get it eventually. Honestly, he was going to put it away. But then he pressed his face into the shoulder and sighed.

This was wrong. He should just hang it up and return it when they saw each other again. He wasn’t about to let this silly little infatuation with Geralt ruin a perfectly good friendship. Especially not over a stupid hoodie.

Unfortunately, Jaskier's self restraint had taken the night off. Before he could stop himself, Jaskier was sliding his arms in, zipping up the front and crawling into bed. One night of indulging wasn’t going to hurt anyone. Even if it felt like his chest was splitting open. He shifted a little under the covers, burying his nose into the collar as he drifted off to sleep. They had been through so much together since they met in high school, wasn’t Jaskier allowed this one little thing, just this once?

-o-O-o-

i still have ur hoodie

u want it back cause we could like meet up for coffee

we could go to the nag :)

He snapped a picture of the hoodie and a travel mug in his passenger seat, sending it off.

Can’t today. :(

Parent teacher meetings and then Dad wants us to help him fix the roof.

I could use my hoodie today, it’s cold…

omgl finally

thought id have to do it

Jask… no.

:/ fine then

see if i try to be helpful again

jk jk

dont die

I dont wanna do handywork :3

Geralt had been right. It was cold, and Jaskier had forgotten his own jacket at home. He frowned down at the hoodie and sighed. It was only because it was chilly. Nothing else. He tried to ignore how it still smelled so strongly of Geralt. He walked around the gallery wrapped in Geralt’s hoodie, the front unzipped and his hands buried in the sleeves.

-o-O-o-

hehe crispy leaf time

the cold is coming

Yes, Jaskier. That’s how seasons work

u know what that means~

Geralt did not in fact, know what that meant but he soon found out. He was in the middle of typing when a picture came up with the caption “stolen hoodie weather :3” with Jaskier curled up on his couch at home, snuggled up in the black zip up hoodie Geralt only remembered leaving there early last Spring.

Something in his stomach flipped and he looked around to make sure no one was watching him. Why? Why would it matter if someone saw him? It was just Jaskier.

He frowned and started typing again. He stopped and erased it, fighting down the small smile that was starting to tilt the corners of his mouth.

You kept it?

Way to go, Geralt. That was really fucking smooth. What was he supposed to mean by that?

unlike u :(((

abandoner of hoodies

some of us appreciate the gift of comfort geralt

Geralt felt like his brain was melting. That thing in his stomach seemed to purr with satisfaction at the idea of Jaskier wearing his hoodie. It was petty and ridiculous and oh no, Geralt couldn't take his eyes off the way the black material framed Jaskier's collarbone.

No. No no. This way lay madness, he told himself. He would simply get the hoodie back and that was that.

hey when do u wanna do our next movie night

its been like

7099039 years

Geralt hesitated for a moment. He had never hesitated when it came to Jaskier. They had known each other for far too long.

Sure. My turn to pick?

not if u choose a history documentary

Spy movie?

:0 promise?

yes pls

Should I bring wine?

Wait, no that would be a very bad idea.

:) you know it

bring the good shit

eskels secret one

i know you can find it

It’s called “google” Jaskier. Even I know that. And I will see what I can do.

same time and place as normal right

It’s a date.

Geralt felt as though his soul had left his body when he had hit send. Had he lost his entire mind? He was in the middle of typing a follow up, trying to word the best way to dismiss his complete and total departure from sanity when the little dots popped up then disappeared then popped up again.

It’s a date. :)

Jaskier nearly slammed the door back into Geralt’s face in shock. Geralt was standing in the hall, bottle of wine in one hand, movie and carry out in the other. Then there was the shirt. Jaskier had actually helped him pick it out. The black button up, the sleeves rolled up and was his hair actually combed back? He looked good. Jaskier swallowed hard. He looked really damn good.

But that wasn’t even the weird part. No, the weird part was the way Geralt’s eyes widened when he had opened the door. He recovered quickly though, nodding at Jaskier as he stepped in.

“Didn’t think you’d let the apartment be cold enough you’d need to wear a hoodie.” He smirked, setting the bag down on the table before going right into the kitchen.

“Comfort, Geralt. I’m telling you, I just don’t think you appreciate it enough.” Jaskier followed him in. It was routine for them, the way Geralt got the wine open, Jaskier grabbed plates and silverware; the way they bickered and snarked, barely suppressing laughs through barbs.

-o-O-o-

The coffee table was littered with cartons of orange chicken and fried noodles. Geralt set his plate down as he leaned back, slinging his arm across the back of the couch. He had to smile at the sense of deja vu that struck him. Casino Royale wasn’t just a comfort movie for them. It had been their first movie night nearly fifteen years ago.

By now, they could practically quote the entire thing, make quips at Bond’s smugness and only just sit through that one scene without wincing. At least that’s what they told themselves.

Now they watched as Bond and Vesper reconnect outside of that fancy English rehab center. Jaskier chorused him as they both rolled their eyes and sighed at Bond’s shitty lines about little fingers.

“God he’s the worst.” Jaskier took a sip of wine, making a gagging sound.

“Quantum still exists.” he chuckled.

“Valid!” Jaskier set his wine down.

Geralt leaned over as Bond delivered his next line, syncing his tone and dropping into a soft gravelly murmur.

“Whatever I am, I’m yours.” It was supposed to be cheesy and ridiculous but Geralt found that it felt far too honest. There was truth to them that he couldn’t think to deny now.

Jaskier nearly choked as he looked up, his eyes going wide. Geralt watched as he leaned into his personal space. Time felt like it stuttered to a halt in that moment, Jaskier inches from him, still draped in his hoodie. Geralt wet his lips anxiously. The tension between them felt like a powerline pulled too tight; everything seemed to crackle with it.

“Geralt-”

Whatever he was going to say was lost the second Geralt closed the distance, pressing his mouth to Jaskier’s. It was nearly magnetic and there was no pulling away. Geralt’s hands strayed down to Jaskier’s thighs without his realizing it. There was no way he could stop himself now. He’d wanted this for far too long to just let it go. Part of him would mourn the loss of his oldest friendship, but that was Tomorrow Geralt’s problem.

Jaskier’s arms wrapped around him, pulling him closer as Geralt tugged Jaskier into his lap clumsily.

Geralt had to break the kiss first, pulling back gasping for air and pressing their foreheads together.

“Jask… Wait. Wait,” Geralt choked. He had to tilt his head back to get his words out as Jaskier dipped back in to start kissing him again. “Shit. Jaskier…” He already sounded wrecked to his own ears. His hands were on Jaskier’s hips, thumbs rubbing soft circles against his sides as he looked up, eyes searching. “Are you sure you want this?”

He needed to hear it. He needed to know he was allowed to have this. It was one thing to say it would be Tomorrow Geralt’s problem, but it was another to actively throw away the best friendship he had ever had. He had spent too long pretending they could be just friends for it to fall apart like this.

Jaskier crowded in closer and it took everything in him not to just give in to it because fuck that felt amazing. There was an easy smile across his lips that made Geralt feel like he was starving.

“Geralt, I swear to the gods, don’t you dare start questioning this now,” as open as his face was, his voice trembled slightly. It was then that Geralt realized that Jaskier was practically vibrating under his palms. It was instinct the way he wrapped his arms around Jaskier’s middle, pulling him closer. “I’ve been wanting this for at least a solid decade.”

Geralt blinked hard as he gaped up at Jaskier.

“Are you really that surprised, Geralt?” Jaskier hummed, leaning back down and pressing a surprisingly chaste kiss to his cheek.

“Hmm. Maybe not.” He found himself chuckling, trying to breathe around the bubble of light that was threatening to fill his entire chest. He caught Jaskier’s mouth again, his hand coming up to slide into his hair, holding him close.

It was hard to tell who had deepened the kiss further but the laughter died on his tongue when he felt Jaskier roll his hips down into his lap. Suddenly everything was too much and achingly not enough. The hoodie slipped down Jaskier’s shoulders and what little attention span Geralt had left zeroed into that same spot along Jaskier’s collarbone.

Pulling Jaskier closer, he made a trail of graceless open mouthed kisses along his jaw and down the firm column of his neck, his teeth raking over the spot with careless abandon. He was rewarded with a soft keen and Jaskier squirming in his arms. Long dexterous fingers wound into his hair, cradling his head as his own found their way up the back of Jaskier’s shirt.

“Geralt-” There was a tug in his hair and fuck shit yes. He must have made some kind of noise because he felt Jaskier chuckle fondly. “Geralt, as much as I am enjoying this,” he gasped, back arching as Geralt nipped just below his ear, “Bedroom. Now.”

There was no arguing with that tone nor could he bring himself to find anything to argue about. Geralt tilted his head back up, Jaskier’s lips crushing in against his, taking every last remaining shred of doubt away. He felt his body switch to autopilot as he scooped Jaskier up from under his thighs, pleased at the way his legs wrapped around him automatically. He carried him easily, stopping only for a moment to pin Jaskier to the wall to adjust his grip under him, long enough to flick the lights off.

Jaskier snorted, pulling away. “So considerate.” He teased. Geralt gave him a playful swat on his thigh and the chuckling was cut off by one of those delicious keening noises.

Geralt half stumbled, half marched to where he knew Jaskier’s bedroom to be, blindly pushing the door open with his foot. He let himself bask in the heat of Jaskier’s body pressed to his, taking his bottom lip and biting it.

The reality of where he was came crashing down on him and time was doing that thing again, slowing down as someone else with his hands kneeled against the side of the bed, letting them both tumble back into ridiculously lavish sheets. Years of habitual teasing were only tamped down by Jaskier’s insistent fingers making quick work of the buttons on the front of Geralt’s shirt.

“You just had to wear this one, didn’t you.” Apparently not everyone was so distracted not to tease. “Do you know how hard it was not to just pull you into my apartment and kiss that ridiculous face of yours?”

Geralt gave a wry smile. “Do you know how hard it’s been for fifteen years, being your best friend and thinking I would never get to kiss that beautiful face of yours?”

He had to bite the inside of his lip as Jaskier’s whole face and neck flushed brilliant pink in the low light.

“Geralt!” he practically whined and Geralt couldn’t stop from laughing softly at that, bending back down to kiss him again. He decided he couldn’t help himself, not really.

This was too good. If he could just bottle this moment and tuck it away for every rainy day for the rest of his life, he would.

“I guess I’ll just have to make it up to you now.” Geralt hummed happily. He shifted, the hand under Jaskier’s thigh moving to tug his hips flush with Geralt’s as his other hand moved to cup his face. “As long as you’re okay with that.”

Geralt was pretty sure they were too far gone to ever go back, but even now, he had to make sure.

“Geralt Roger Eric…” Jaskier groused. “If you do not come back down here and kiss-” his words were muffled by Geralt’s mouth, his tongue sliding over Jaskier’s bottom lip and swallowing whatever ridiculous threats may have been lobbed at him.

He found that kissing Jaskier had been easier than breathing. Before he knew it, Geralt was pulling back to pull off his shirt but his hands froze. He cursed under what breath he had left because the view of Jaskier under him, lips kiss bruised and shining, the needy look in his eyes, and the way his hair was pushed in every direction nearly undid Geralt completely.

He snapped back to work, stripping out of his shirt and pushing at his jeans, letting them slide away.

“C'mere you gorgeous thing.” Geralt murmured softly, pulling Jaskier to him before rolling, his back pressed up against the headboard.

Jaskier shimmied out of his own jeans before straddling Geralt’s thighs, letting his fingers trail up the planes of Geralt’s chest, a stray fingernail grazing over his nipple, making him groan. Jaskier only grinned, leaning in, and nipping at Geralt’s neck.

All Geralt could do was groan and tilt his head back, his hands sliding over Jaskier’s back. He was just aware enough to realize when Jaskier started to work his way down his body. Looking down, he watched in complete awe as nimble fingers hooked into his boxers.

The first touch of Jaskier’s mouth to the jut of Geralt’s hip had his blood singing and he could only drop his head back against the wall. He hadn’t realized how achingly hard he was until Jaskier was biting down gently on Geralt’s upper thigh making him jump.

There was a low chuckle from somewhere around his groin and then there was a sharp tug on his boxers. Jaskier wasted no time getting a hand around Geralt’s cock while he still playfully nipped at Geralt’s hip and thigh and abs. This was how he was going to die, he thought absently as he let his hand move to the back of Jaskier’s head. He let his fingers tangle there, tugging gently and Jaskier seemed to get the message though he could feel the smirk against his inner thigh.

The weight of Jaskier between his thighs, one hand sliding up Geralt’s torso as the other stroked him lightly left Geralt breathless, his eyes fluttering at every touch. But it was when Jaskier wrapped his mouth around the head of his cock that Geralt felt like he was going to vibrate out of his skin. He bucked his hips instinctively into the hot slick of Jaskier’s mouth before he could stop himself.

For long moments, all Geralt could do was hold on. Jaskier took him slowly, seeming to savor the newly found ground between them as he bobbed further and further until Geralt was nudging the back of his throat. He gasped, his back arching when Jaskier swallowed around him, his responding hum a little too self satisfied.

Geralt tightened his grip in Jaskier’s hair only slightly, tugging him up. It was messy and Jaskier’s mouth was open and slick, his eyes glazed slightly with a need that left Geralt breathless. He looked debauched and it was honestly the most beautiful thing Geralt had ever seen.

“Fuck,” he groaned pulling Jaskier back into his lap, his hips stuttering to grind up against Jaskier’s thigh.

Jaskier pressed in close, panting slightly as he broke a kiss that had been more teeth than anything, leaning his forehead to Geralt’s. “Mm, fuck. We- Ah,” He chuckled as Geralt dipped in to kiss him again, dodging away gracefully. “Geralt, I need-” he licked his lips , taking a shaky breath. “Want you to-”

Geralt was already nodding. He would agree to anything Jaskier asked for but the way his hips ground down against Geralt’s lap, it wasn’t hard to fill in the blanks. He wrapped a strong arm around Jaskier’s middle, rolling them gently until Jaskier was under him his knees still bracketed around Geralt’s thighs as he arched and keened.

“Under the notebook in the-” Jaskier breathed his hands not leaving Geralt’s skin for a moment, fingers greedily mapping out the lines of his back.

“I know, you haven’t changed your hiding place since college,” Geralt teased. To his surprise Jaskier snorted under him, his head tilting back in the pillows as he laughed. It left the column of his neck exposed to Geralt and he couldn’t help himself but lean down and bite small marks into it. He was rewarded by more delicious noises endlessly streaming from Jaskier.

He pulled away only for the time it would take to retrieve the lube before sliding back down into Jaskier’s arms and kissing him thoroughly. His hands traveled down Jaskier’s bare chest, his fingers brushing along the top of his boxers and he gave a low huff into Jaskier’s mouth.

“Why are these still on?” he grumbled, smirking when Jaskier rolled his eyes at him.

“Someone’s been slacking in getting me undressed,” Jaskier shot back.

TheirThere next kiss was a mess of chuckles and grins. Geralt shifted them again, moving to get Jaskier’s boxers down. The laughter died in Jaskier’s throat when Geralt’s fingers brushed low down his back and grazed over the swell of his ass, he buried his face into Geralt’s neck. Geralt didn’t tease for long before pulling away. It made Jaskier groan and nip at his neck until slick fingers returned to his entrance, circling slowly.

“Fuck!” Jaskier moaned, his hips already rocking back greedily.

Geralt quietly cursed himself for letting so much time get away from him as he slowly worked Jaskier open, enjoying the way he shivered and babbled under him with every push of his fingers. When he slipped a third finger in, Jaskier bucked under him, his eyes slamming shut as he gave a shout.

“Geralt! Fuck, dear heart, please, for the love of all that is good-” he pleaded, his hips rocking back onto Geralt’s fingers eagerly. “If you don’t fuck me soon I’m going to combust.”

Geralt leaned down, muffling the rest of the curses that were probably coming with a hard kiss. Jaskier arched under him as he pulled his hands away. It was easy after that, letting their bodies slot together and letting himself slide into Jaskier’s tight warmth. It felt like a gut punch. It felt like coming home.

Jaskier wound his legs around his waist, hands reaching up to thread into Geralt’s hair as he rolled his hips, taking Geralt deeper, causing them both to groan.

“Jask.” Geralt pressed his face to Jaskier’s shoulder panting as he started a steady pace. Soon only the sound of their heavy breathing and Jaskier’s soft moans filled the room around them.

Time around them seemed to hold still as Jaskier tugged gently on Geralt’s hair, prying him away from his shoulder to look him in the eyes. The look Geralt found there left the world spinning. Jaskier’s eyes were bright and his smile warm even as his cheeks flushed. He was pliant and open and completely wrecked and the sight of him tugged at Geralt’s chest. The words came tumbling out before he could stop himself, his hips slowly rolling into Jaskier as they moved.

“I love you, Julek,” he murmured as he kissed him slowly.

Jaskier whined under him, his fingers tightening in Geralt’s hair, pulling him impossibly closer. When they finally broke apart to gasp for air, Jaskier's eyes were searching his as he bit his lip around a low moan. He huffed a wet sounding laugh as a hand slid from Geralt’s hair to rest on his cheek, a well calloused thumb tracing along his chin. “Oh, dear heart,” he shifted, canting his hips to make Geralt move. The angle shifted and Geralt seemed to nudge right against where Jaskier needed him most as he arched from the mattress and groaned.

Geralt pushed up to sit, pulling Jaskier up with him until he was in his lap. They rocked together, shuddering every time Geralt bottomed out. He gripped Jaskier’s hip tightly with one hand as his other slid between them, wrapping around Jaskier’s cock. Jaskier pushed up into his hand, swaying between his grip and his cock, they both seemed drunk on it. It was only a matter of time after that that Jaskier was crying out, Geralt’s name tumbling from his lips, his orgasm tearing through him like a whirlwind and Geralt could do nothing but hold onto him.

Geralt steadied him, his hand holding Jaskier still as he thrust up into him, reveling in the small fucked out noises Jaskier whimpered into his neck before he too was shaking apart, spilling into Jaskier with a low satisfied rumble.

They kissed again, lazy and sated, their chests a mess with Jaskier’s spend. He broke the kiss first, pulling back with that smile that always left Geralt feeling dazed.

“I love you, too. I love-” he didn’t get to finish because Geralt was pressing him down into the mattress again with a hard kiss, smiling.

He was allowed. Everything that had happened seemed to catch up with him but instead of the sheer panic he had been expecting, the only thing that wrapped around him in that moment was the bright light that was Jaskier’s answering laugh.

Everything was sore but in that pleasant kind of way after a good lay. Jaskier rolled over, pressing his nose into the pillow beside him. He smiled when he realized it still smelled like Geralt.

Geralt. Fuck!

His hand reached out before he let himself open his eyes, wincing against the bright morning light that streamed in through his windows. The space beside him was empty.

But… Geralt had said it first? Where-? Jaskier’s heart sank, his throat tightening. He knew it was too good to be true. The moment Geralt had kissed him on the couch, he had pushed down every part of him that had screamed that he was going to end up hurt by time the sun came.

He reached for his phone though he didn’t know who he was going to text. Essi wouldn’t even be awake yet on a Saturday. The space by his lamp was also empty. He realized he must have left his phone in the living room the night before when-

He tried not to think about how easily Geralt had lifted him up and carried him to bed. He had tried not to think about how there were now bruises on his hips that were shaped like Geralt’s hands or the trail of stinging bites that he would have to carry around his empty apartment for days. He pressed the heals of his hands to his eyes and groaned.

“Idiot,” he berated himself.

“Cause you left your phone in the living room and now it’s dead?” Geralt asked, pushing the door open with his foot. He was in a pair of Jaskier’s sweatpants and nothing else carrying in two cups of coffee. He looked up from where he had been concentrating, trying not to spill them. “What?”

“You’re here,” Jaskier chuckled. Something in his chest lifted and he let go of a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding.

“I… yes?” Geralt looked around. There was a lovely mark in the shape of Jaskier’s mouth on his shoulder and it made Jaskier’s toes curl. Geralt looked at the space beside Jaskier then at his face. He made a little oh with his mouth before he started to shake his head. “Oh! I see, hmm.” He set the coffee down gently on the side table and slid back into bed and into Jaskier’s arms. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“So we’re…” Jaskier looked away, rubbing his palms over his covered thighs. “We’re okay?” He didn’t dare hope. Not just yet. Not in the bright light of day.

“Well, that depends,” Geralt chuckled, pulling him into his lap easily. He leaned in and kissed Jaskier’s chin. “Yenn messaged. Something about brunch. I think they know. Are you okay with that?”

Jaskier snorted, leaning over to grab his coffee. “Essi. I told her it was just movie night. I tell her it’s just movie night every time and-” He realized what he was saying, the cup of coffee hovering just at his lips. He looked sideways at Geralt who was tilting his head and smirking.

“The biggest gossip we know and that’s the one you decide to confide in?” He took the cup from Jaskier’s hands and set it down again before rolling them both to pin Jaskier under him.

Jaskier squawked indignity, his arms wrapping around Geralt. He let himself be kissed and hummed happily when Geralt slotted easily back between his thighs.

“We’re going to be late for brunch,” he sighed as Geralt’s hand slipped down to his thigh, fingers brushing gently over the marks from the night before.

“Hmm, don’t care.”

They ended up missing brunch altogether but neither seemed to mind.

---

The weather was crisp and dry and Jaskier was bundled in the black hoodie, but now pressed against Geralt’s side as they walked into Magnolia’s. It had been easier than Geralt was expecting though he groaned as he watched several fairly large wads of cash exchange hands.

“Pay up, Jask,” Essi grinned.

“What?” Geralt turned, scowling. Jaskier gave a chagrined shrug as he handed over money. “So little faith?” Geralt teased.

“You too, pretty boy!” Lambert smirked across the table.

Jaskier gasped beside him, leaning away “So little faith, Geralt?” The sleeves of the hoodie fell over his wrists and Geralt only smiled, pulling him back against his side.

“I don’t mind being wrong this time.”

#geraskier #modern au #fluff and smut #friends to lovers #jays 400 follower celebration #jay writes #mind the tags on this one yall #it's spicy #and soft

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supercorpkid · 3 years

Text

Earth anatomy is something else.

Supercorp, Kara Danvers x Daughter!Reader, Lena Luthor x Daughter!Reader

Word count: 1465.

“Hey Jamie?” You whisper to your cousin next to you, but there’s actually no need. Everyone in the classroom is talking loudly and no one can hear you, you are sure of that. “Do your moms also get a little weird for absolutely no reason?”

“What are you talking about?” She whispers back and you bite your lip thinking.

“I don’t know. Lena sometimes gets super moody and weird… Like yesterday she was watching a movie and crying.” You remember the scene of Lena with a huge glass of wine, and a couple of tissues watching a pixar movie. It was one of the weirdest things you have ever seen. “I would totally understand if it was Kara, y’know? She’s a big cry baby. But Lena?”

“I don’t know, is she on her period?” Jamie asks you and you furrow your brows in confusion. “Maybe she’s PMSing. I get like that sometimes.”

“Oh, cool.” You look at the teacher. He’s not paying attention to any of you. You go back to Jamie. “What’s PMSing?”

“What? You don’t know what PMS means?” Jamie is the overall face of disbelief. You shake your head in denial. “Oh my God, are you even from Earth?”

“Look, I’ve heard people talking about it. It’s just that everyone always assumes I know what it is, I was scared of asking the meaning.”

“Jesus Christ. You’re such a weirdo. You literally know things like quantum physics, but you don’t know what PMS means.” She laughs and you roll your eyes. “You know what, maybe I should teach you one thing or two about human anatomy.”

“I’m human.”

“Fine, Earth anatomy. We’ll go to the science lab later.” Jamie goes back to the book and chuckles, apparently to herself. “PMS. God help me.”

When class is over you go to the science lab and sit down in one of the desks while Jamie does a perfect drawing of the human body on the board. You’re starting to think you should’ve just googled the whole thing, because it’s really embarrassing not knowing half of the stuff she’s saying.

It’s weird that you don’t know, but Kara once told you that Krytonian anatomy was almost like Earth’s, but not completely equal. So, you’ve never PMSed, which basically means that you didn’t have to worry about it, up until now anyway.

“Do you have any questions?” Jamie asks and you shake your head looking at your notebook.

“Yeah, a few. Ok, so.” You read what you wrote. “Why does it happen every month? What can we do to stop it? What does cramp feel like? How does it affect your mood? Is it the same for every woman?”

“That’s a few?” Jamie sighs and you smile. “I don’t know. You don’t do anything. Feels like an alien attacking you from the inside. It varies for every woman, so the answer to the last one is no.”

“Cool. Last one.” You smile apologetic and she agrees with her head. “What can I do to help?”

“Why do you want to help? It’s normal, it will always happen.” Jamie sits next to you. “You don’t have to help everyone with everything all the time. You know that, right?”

“What? No, it’s not like that.” You try to justify and she smiles at you, way too knowing.

“Look, I know you have a hero complex…”

“I do not.” You interrupt her.

“Yes, you do. And it’s not a bad thing.” She looks at your notes and smiles. “I love to know that you’re always here to protect me, little Danvers. But there are things you can’t protect us, earthlings, from. And it’s ok.”

“Yeah. I know. Totally.” You shrug and she laughs.

“Come on, dipshit. Let’s go play games and do things your alien brain can comprehend.” Jamie stands up and you follow her.

Now you sort of understand what's going on with Lena. And when you think about the past everything makes way more sense. But you didn’t like Jamie’s answer. You don’t like the fact that you can’t help Lena in any way. If you had an alien attacking you from the inside, you would like some help. So, you do what you should’ve done all along. You google it.

There are a few tips that you could try. And other ones you will never ever want to remember again. But either way, that helps you understand your mom a lot more.

When Lena comes home later that night, you’re already by the door with a glass of wine for her. She furrows her brows at that.

“What did you do?” She looks around. “What did you break?”

“What? No! It’s nothing like that, I just… You look like you had a rough day.” You say offering the glass and she finally takes it. “Are you ok?”

“Are you?” She asks back and you smile taking her bag from her hands and putting in the hanger close to the door. “Baby, what’s going on?”

“Nothing!” You look at her with your x-ray vision. “Does your feet hurt?”

“No, it’s…” She seems to acknowledge them for the first time today. “It actually does.”

“Yeah, here. Let me take off your heels.” You help her out of her shoes and she smiles at you.

“Ok, this is lovely. I’m still suspicious though.” She takes off her coat and you walk close to her to the living room. “I did have a rough day. I have the most horrible…”

“Cramps!” You say looking at her again, and she agrees slowly. She sits back on the couch with a loud sigh, and you mentally revisit your list of tips. “There’s a pressure point.” You kneel in front of her. “Right here.”

“Ok.” Lena says looking at your hand not moving on her calf.

“Oh, I shouldn’t press it. I don’t want to hurt you.” You say and she moves her hand to the spot you’re showing so she could press it herself. “Did it work?”

“Not really. But it was worth the shot.” She drinks a little more. You get up quickly and use your super speed returning a few seconds later. “Hot towel. This pill is supposed to work very fast. Oh, and…” You run one more time. Lena didn’t even have time to blink yet and you’re back. “Hot water for your feet.”

You place a bowl of water on the ground and she puts her feet inside. She accepts the pill you’re giving her, drinking it with the wine, and the hot towel, placing it on her pelvis. You make a mental note of that.

“Ok, I forgive you.” She exhales and lays her head on the pillows behind her.

“For what?” You ask, taking the empty wine glass from her hand and putting it on the table next to you.

“I don’t know, whatever it is that you’re trying to apologize for.” She smiles and you sit next to her.

“I promise I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m just… Well, I guess I’m sorry I never did this before on your periods. I know they suck.”

“How do you know that? You’re not supposed to have them.” She looks at you worried.

“Oh no, I don’t.” You ease her mind and she lays back. “I had an Earth anatomy class with Jamie, and she told me all about PMS, and periods, and cramps.”

“Fun stuff.” Lena smiles and you agree with your head. ��Why is that, exactly?”

“Cause you were crying over a cartoon movie last night.”

“Oh, because I don’t usually cry?” She asks and you shake your head. “For your information, I cry a lot.” You raise one brow. “Don’t give me the eyebrow raise. That’s my move.” You laugh at her. “I do cry. I just don’t cry as much as your momma.”

“Yeah, duh. She’s a cry baby.” You say and you two laugh.

“I appreciate the worry baby.” Lena squeezes your knee. “But you don’t have to take care of me.”

“Yes, I do.” You kiss her forehead. “You take care of me, and I take care of you. That’s what our family does, right?”

“You are absolutely right. And I’m really glad this is your concept of family.” She kisses your temple and you smile. “Now why don’t you get us some chocolates so we can watch a sad movie and cry together?”

“Can I join?” Kara asks, appearing from thin air and sits on the other side of Lena. “I love movies to cry.”

“You don’t say.” You and Lena share a look and a smile before you go to the kitchen to grab all the chocolates in the house, and move back to the couch to watch a movie with them. Of course that’s your concept of family, you just have to look at them to know why.

Notes:

Idea buddy does it again! Thanks @hermen0404 :)

#supercorp #supergirl #kara danvers #kara x lena #lena luthor #supercorp fanfic #supercorpfamily #kara x reader #lena x reader #supercorp daughter #reader insert

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rosequartzstarswrites · 3 years

Text

20 Questions for Writers

Thank you @cheesyficwriter for the tag!

How many works do you have on AO3?

What's your total AO3 word count?

351,699

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

As of now, I have only written for Harry Potter; however, in February I began several LOTR/Hobbit WIPs that I have not yet published. The first one is due out at the start of September though!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

In Another Universe: Hermione Granger is brilliant: she completed her PhD in Linguistics at 25, and is the youngest faculty member at the University. Ron Weasley, an unruly quantum physicist... well, he's getting there. But when Granger gets stacked with a project she hates and has to talk to other scholars at the University, their paths cross and become permanently intertwined in a way neither of them could've ever anticipated. (Slow Burn Multichap Muggle Uni AU) Rated T.

Rosebury Grounds: Lady Hermione Granger has been reared up in society, to marry well and be a good housewife, like any good Edwardian lady, but that's far from what she wants. When a handyman by the name of Ronald Weasley joins the house staff, utterly disarming her from the moment they first meet, he might just be the opportunity she needs to break loose and choose her own destiny.Lord Draco Malfoy has a secret— a secret he knows would cost him everything if it ever saw the light. But it's getting harder and harder to keep it from his father, because Draco keeps bumping into a pair of emerald eyes and a head of lush black hair, and he can't pretend his knees don't buckle at the sight. Which would be quite alright, if not for one small problem: it's not a woman they belong to.Two tales of forbidden love, set in Edwardian England. (Multichap Muggle AU) Rated M.

Something Growing: Hermione’s pregnant— and she’s freaking out. She’s always been good at everything, but she’s not sure that’ll hold for being a mother; however, when Ron gets home earlier than expected, she realizes she doesn’t need to be great at everything so long as she’s got him beside her. (Oneshot) Rated G.

Big in Japan: Harry Potter is a famous rockstar out on a world tour— but when one too many meet-and-greets threatens to drive him insane, he takes an escapade out into the streets of Tokyo, where he ends up at an expat bar with a captivating redhead that seems totally unaware of who he is, or why she should know him at all, for that matter. (Muggle AU oneshot) Rated E.

Teaspoon Vindication: After escaping Malfoy Manor, Ron comes to visit Hermione in her room at Shell Cottage, and does the one thing that may be the hardest for him— talking about his feelings. (Romione oneshot)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try my best, though I don’t always get to all of them! My reasoning is that if folks are kind enough to tell me how much they enjoyed my writing, the least I can do is thank them for their lovely words.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

The Last Farewell! It’s a Wolfstar oneshot, set in canon universe, where Remus comes to Sirius’s grave to ask for his blessing (and forgiveness) to marry Tonks. It was angst central from the start and I even wrote it while listening to an angsty song.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I generally write happy, fade-to-black endings, but if I had to choose I’d say Truth or Dare. This is a male!Hermione x Ron summer camp AU born of a game of spin-the-bottle/truth-or-dare that ends with them figuring out their feelings go beyond friendship. I say it is the happiest ending because I think the “boy figuring out he likes boys” scenario has been overdone in angst a bit too much, and the fact that the feelings are reciprocated and they decide to stay in touch would make me giddy if I was their age and in their shoes. Anyway, it’s just a sweet ending.

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

Not at all— I actually don’t like crossovers at all, so I have never even entertained reading, let alone writing, one. (No hate at all to those with imaginations large and strong enough to conjure up awesome crossovers— I am in awe of you all, they’re just not for me!)

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Never, luckily, since the Romione community is so lovely and supportive! But, though not outright hate, for a while I had an anonymous FFN reviewer who left reviews on every chapter of Rosebury Grounds saying that my title was a porn/sex act...? I was distraught and scoured Google to see if they really were right and this was some obscure euphemism I’d entirely missed, but turns out it wasn’t, and they had gotten confused with a vulgar but similar term. So I ignored those reviews but they kept coming and then eventually one time I found a 500 word very graphic description of the sex act in question in my reviews, so desperate was the reviewer (apparently) to get their (wrong) point across. Yikes.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes! I’ve written a lot and of many kinds— explicit, implied, just foreplay, fade-to-black, referenced... I’ve written both M/F and M/M.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No— I didn’t even know that was something I should worry about!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I speak fluent Spanish, so I’m planning on translating In Another Universe and Rosebury Grounds myself once I’ve finished the latter.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, the most I’ve done is beta from the plot-building stage!

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Gahhhh don’t make me pick! Romione (HP) is first in my heart because I see so much of myself and what I want in it, but Samfro (LOTR) is, to me, the truest depiction of love in all of literature, ever. I will forever come back to it.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I hope to finish my Hogwarts Actually series that I started for Romionecom (hi, Discord friends!) inspired by Love Actually. I have it all planned out, translating all the relationships in the movie to HP pairings and friendships, and all I need to do is write— but I think I’ll come back to this periodically and unoften. Hopefully I’ll finish it!

What are your writing strengths?

I like to think that I write good and witty dialogue. I’m a theatre person, so I think my dialogue sounds mostly natural when spoken. I also have a good sense of beginning and ending, so most of my works/chapters start and end with a memorable phrase of some sort. I also have excellent grammar and spelling, so except for a few occasional typos, that makes the job of proofing much easier!

What are your writing weaknesses?

I think I sometimes write sentences that are waaaay too long and convoluted. I use words that are too big sometimes and just take approachability from my writing. Fanfic has been excellent to practice correcting this, though!

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

As a bilingual writer myself— don’t write dialogue in other languages unless you speak it well or get it translated directly through someone who speaks it well. Though I appreciate the effort, I can always tell when something was put through Google Translate, and that kind of dialogue most often ends up lacking the context clues/colloquial familiarity of real language speakers, and ends up sounding stiff and forced.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I’m not proud of it, but I used to write MCR RPF back when I was 13 or so. It was a very brief stint and I have since deleted the works in their entirety, since my principles have evolved to the place where RPF to me seems disrespectful and invasive. Plus, it was on Wattpad.

What's your favorite fic you've written?

Again, don’t make me pick please!! I truly have had a lot of fun with Rosebury and I think it is a testament to how much I love it that I was able to keep the idea on hold for a full six months before I started writing it. I love the Downton setting and the Edwardian dialogue is a lot of fun to me. But I also have a soft spot for the In Another Universe original oneshot I submitted to the RFF2020— that work awoke my love for Muggle AUs (which I like to think I’m most known for), inspired me to start work on my first multichap fic, and keeps me coming back to it anytime I have doubt in my ability to write swoonworthy scenes. It was the oneshot that started it all.

Tagging: @accio-broom @be11atrixthestrange @folk-melody (and anyone else who would like to!)

#fanfiction #fanfic writer #rosequartzstars #hp fanfic #hp fanfiction #harry potter fanfiction #fanfic author

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lilydalexf · 3 years

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Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Chimerical

Chimerical’s stories aren’t at Gossamer, but you can now find them at AO3. If you have not read them, are you in for a treat! For instance, Regular People and Regular People Still are some of the X-Files fics I have read and re-read. You may also know Chimerical from her site Chimerical Publications, which was an extensive Mulder and David Duchovny fansite. Big thanks to Chimerical for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

I’m not surprised at all that X-Files fandom is still popular, it was an amazing, creative show with iconic characters. Aside from just being entertaining, like all good Sci-Fi it asked deep, profound questions about the nature of relationships and humanity. It’s these things that people remember more than the MOWs.

However, I’m surprised to hear that my stories are still read, mostly because there is always something new, someone has a new take, and of course, we have the more recent episodes which provides all new fodder for writers, which is wonderful. But it’s super nice to hear that stories from the classic show still mean something. Also, I wasn’t a prolific writer, there are only 12 stories, but perhaps they struck a chord and people like to revisit them the way you like to re-watch a favorite episode or movie.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

Fanfic is certainly not new, but The X-Files was absolutely at the right place, at the right time. The internet was just really taking off, and it enabled fans to connect instantly in ways that hadn’t before. I remember that Fox used to send out Cease & Desist letters in an ill-considered attempt to stem fanfic because the Suits just didn’t understand what it was. Nowadays, of course, they embrace much of it, encourage it, even. Supernatural wrote whole episodes about it. But in the early days they were really stupid about it.

But what I took away from it was that great community can exist with people you have never met in person. There is a great sharing of ideas and love of great characters.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

It’s true, no Facebook, twitter, tiktok – it seems strange!

But I connected to fandom though the old Usenet message boards, you couldn’t wait until the episode was over until you could leap on and start discussing the episode. And it was painful if you were on the west coast as I was because you would get spoiled. In truth, it wasn’t must different than Twitter, just without the character limitation. But it was rather the wild, wild, west, no moderators and no terms of service. It could be a free-for-all, and some of the disagreements were legendary! For writing, certainly ATXC was the big dog for fic, and of course alt.tv.x-files for discussion. There were many different Yahoo Groups and AOL mailing lists, that catered to interests in fanfic (Friendship/Adult/Slash) or to the characters and/or actors.

But frankly, the main thing I remember was what a complete PITA it was to just get anything posted. There were all these size limitations and ASCII issues that don’t exist today, you had font and formatting limitations, which cause people to get weirdly creative with italics, bolding, quotes and so on. And you had to break your story up in weird way simply to jam it into the email because there were size limitations. And it never failed that no matter how many Beta Reads you had, you didn’t see that last damn typo until AFTER you hit the send button. There was no edit button, all you could do resend the whole damn thing. It was the fanfic version of the 20 mile walk to school through the snow……Kids today have it so easy! LOL….

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

Actors are, and always will be, the face of the show. David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson are amazing actors, and the nuance they brought each week was a wonder.

But one of the things that the X-Files also did was make people aware of the people behind the scenes, the showrunners, the writers, the directors. This was also something new. For most TV dramas, most people couldn’t tell you who wrote an episode if you had a gun to their head.

But people knew the writers like Vince Gilligan, James Wong, Darin Morgan, and of course Chris Carter and Frank Spotnitz. And they knew the directors, Rob, Chris and the late great, Kim Manners.. It was like a repertory company. You could count on Morgan & Wong for the creepy, you could count of Vince Gilligan for the humor and relationship stuff, you could count on Darin Morgan for the “what the hell was that, but I loved it.”

So I guess what I took away was a deep appreciation for the craft, for the work. This carried over to other fandoms. I’m more aware of the creative team beyond the actors.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

Believe it not, I didn’t watch at the beginning. I’ve always been a Sci-Fi fan but for some reason this wasn’t on my radar. I came in about the middle of Season 1. I was channel surfing and stopped the X-Files, it was the episode “Ice.” I won’t lie, I stopped because I saw David Duchovny in a henley and I’m never one to pass by an attractive man. But as I watched, I became intrigued by these two characters, and their conflicted relationship with each other, even though I didn’t really know what was really going on. But I had to know more. That’s good writing, where you can walk in half-way through an episode and be captured.

I immediately checked out the old AOL Service forums and found a group. Of course, back then, there was no streaming, there was no BitTorrent. So, you just had to wait until when and if the network decided to show a repeat, which meant you were screwed if you were trying to catch up. But someone on one of the boards offered to send me VHS tapes of the episodes of missed. That’s fandom as its best - I’m excited about this and I want to share it with you. So in about a week I was caught up and hooked. I had to see how these two people’s story turned out.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I’ve always written as a hobby, taken many writing classes, have always written short stories, worked on a novel or two. I’ve got friends who are writers by profession. But the closest I ever came to doing it professionally was co-writing a play that ran for a month off Broadway many years ago, so I’m a dabbler, at best. I’m a big reader, and good stories always make me think, “well, what if this happened….”

So, X-Files wasn’t my first fanfic rodeo. I had been involved in Quantum Leap fandom and Beauty and the Beast, some Star Trek. Once I good hooked on the show, I immediately began searching out fanfic. But it took me a long time before I wrote anything. I’m not sure why, perhaps I was waiting to see where the story went. But X-Files was different in that it blended one of my favorite genres with a truly compelling relationship story. And I don’t just mean romance, it was a melding of two entirely different ways of looking at the world that was captivating. Scully was so strong and Mulder so complex, how could you not love them.

So, I enjoy writing, I learn from it. I learn from the feedback, both good and bad. I’ve never understood fanfic writers who say “just sent me nice feedback.” No one loves criticism, and not all criticism is valid. But you learn from it. I’ve had people tell me they hadn’t looked at an episode from that point of view and they like it - and I’ve had people tell me that I didn’t know what I was doing, everyone knew that Scully would never cuss (to which I say, please, she grew up on military bases!) But it helps you improve.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

It was a period of my life I cherish because I met some friends who are still my friends to this day, all these years later because we found other things in common besides a show. It was great to share ideas and debate storylines. And it was a fun, creative, and exciting time. Each episode was must-see and then talking to my friends about it later was the best part.

I started to drift away when David Duchovny left the show. I thought then, and still think, they should have called it a day because the beating heart of that show was Mulder and Scully together. You can’t rip out half the heart and expect the patient to live. On an intellectual level, I got why Duchovny left, I got why Anderson stayed and I got that Fox was a fledging network back then and XF was a cash cow. But on an emotional level, it all turned upside down, especially when the much-promised “search for Mulder” never really happened.

Fans got angry. They were angry at David for leaving, they were angry at Gillian for staying, and they were angry at poor Robert Patrick, perfectly decent person, for merely existing. It got ugly and I got up caught up in that. Frankly, I was as much to blame as anyone in carrying on stupid arguments about crap that didn’t matter. And one day I just realized I’d let all the joy be sucked away, and this just wasn’t who I wanted to be, or how I wanted to spend my time. So, I took a break, I still watched the show as it limped on, but I disconnected from the fandom part of it. And by the time I’d had my break, the show was done!

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

I’m always a fan. There are many shows I’ve followed and liked, Supernatural, Fringe, Walking Dead, but I don’t get involved in the internet drama. So, I don’t get as invested.

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

I assume you mean besides Mulder and Scully! In literature, My favorite writer is John Steinbeck and every character he created was indelible and singular. East of Eden is my favorite book and the characters of Adam & Caleb Trask, as well as Cathy Ames are so well drawn. Of Mice and Men, Cannery Row, they’re all perfect. Another favorite book and character is Alexandre’s Demas, The Count of Monte Cristo. The arc that Edmond Dantès’ life take is quite Mulder-esque. And of course, Harry Potter, I’m a sucker for a character fighting against overwhelming odds.

On TV, Sam Beckett from Quantum Leap. That was an amazingly well-crafted series, also featuring a female show runner, Deborah Pratt. I love the character of Raymond Reddington on The Blacklist, there is something about a completely unapologetic bad guy. I would have once said Dean and Sam Winchester, but sadly that turned into a case of staying too long at the fair and I stopped watching a couple seasons ago - But the early seasons rocked. Literally every single character in M*A*S*H was golden, and they knew when to call it quits. Thomas Magnum from the original Magnum PI. (People my age will still remember the “Did you see the Sun Rise, Ivan” episode!)

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

Oddly enough, a few weeks before you reached out to me, I watched the X-Files movie again. I remembered the incredible excitement when it came out. Fox did this tour across the county; it was like a mini-con. But I remember they had the trailer on a loop and my friends and I sat through it so many times we could recite the entire thing by heart. TV shows, such as Star Trek, had made the leap to movie, but I don’t believe a TV show had ever made the leap to films while the show was still on TV. But damn, it was good.

I watched the two recent XF mini-series. They did much to revive the old feeling, especially the episodes by Darin Morgan, who is a national treasure. And it was wonderful to see David, Gillian and Mitch. I’m sorry there won’t be more.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I haven’t in quite a while. Mostly because real life has interfered (work, personal stuff, Covid) over this last year and I have trouble concentrating. But I would certainly return to it, you need the escape of a good story.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

Oh yes! But they were all from the time I was writing. Lydia Bower, DashaK, BlueSwirl, XFBandit, Paula Graves, Taverl, Prufrock’s Love, and dozens of other are still on my PC.

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Like children, they each have their virtues but some may be harder to love than others. While I love a good smutty MSR, I was also a big fan of conflict resolution. So, I’m going to cheat and split the baby here. Based on feedback, I’d have to day my most popular story was Regular People and its sequel. And I really enjoyed writing that. It’s simple, it’s sweet, it’s what I hope for Mulder and Scully. The chance to just BE, if only for a while.

I wanted to try a slash story, so Wind River. That story was inspired by the murder of Matthew Shepard. I have dear friends in the gay community and I was so angry that this could happen in this country, so that one was about the need to treat people compassionately and who better to do that than Mulder and Scully.

But in truth, my own favorite is one that didn’t get much attention, called Rock Bottom. I wanted to explore that the fact Mulder and Scully, were, on occasion, just truly awful to each other and yet still reason to come back together.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

I have a couple unfinished stories. There’s one from Quantum Leap, I want to finish first and when that’s done, I would like to finish the two X-Files that are half-baked.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I do legal writing as a profession now, so I write all day long, but analyzing a case or a legal matter is not the same creatively and I do miss that, so I see returning someday, you need to feed your soul.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

Well that’s all over the place, much like my mind! Often I was inspired by something I thought was unaddressed in the episodes. That’s where the Just One series came from. Or it’s a Rosencrantz and Guildenstern kind of thing -- That is, what’s happening off screen while the main action is going on. I find that intriguing, and that’s where Risking Everything came from. The incident in By Coincidence actually happened to a friend of a friend and I thought it would make good fodder. Pentimento came to me following a lecture I attended at a gallery, what happens when you peel back the layers you thought were true. You never know what’s going to connect.

What's the story behind your pen name?

“Chimerical” means existing as the product of unchecked imagination, given to unrealistic flights of fantasy- which seemed right for a fiction writer, especially for XF. In the early days, it became the phonetic “KiMeriKal” when I was on the old AOL service simply because Chimerical wasn’t available as a screen name! But I’m finally [email protected]!

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

Yes, my friends are aware, some of them have been my betas over the years. My brother knows I write, but I don’t think he’s ever read anything because he would find the smut elements uncomfortable coming from his little sister!

Is there a place online (Tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

The most recent versions of my stories are at AO3. If I ever get around to anything new it will be posted there as well.

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

Thanks for reading, thanks for remembering me, and it was a great time in my life. Fandoms are great communities as long as we can always remember there’s a human being at the other end of the keyboard. Be kind, be compassionate, and never stop imagining the possibilities.

(Posted by Lilydale on February 23, 2021)

#old school x #xfiles fanfic #xf fanfic #xf fanfic author interviews #chimerical

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nymphigeon · 4 years

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Someone you love(d) || KTH

• Pairing: Taehyung x Reader(f)

• Genre: break up au, angst with a happy ending, fluff? (just a lil' bit at the end :))

• Rating: PG

• Words: 7.2k

• Warnings: swearing, mention of weight, they kiss like once, if you don't like cheesy things....skip this one lmao

• Summary: You thought he loved you, you really did, but the way he left told you something else.

Or alternatively;

Taehyung is an emotionally constipated idiot who doesn't know how to deal with his feelings.

• A/N: Okay it took me waaay too long to write this, I'm so sorry T_T I really wanted to get this out earlier, but well things happened....

I only proofread this like once and had some trouble getting everything into the post properly so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes! Please let me know if you find any so I can fix them asap.

Thank you for the request @mytaetaey! I hope it matches your expectations!!!

It honestly hasn't even been that long since the day he showed up at my house.

"Let’s break up."

Although I really wouldn't be able to tell you how much time had truly passed.

"W-wait why?"

Days felt like weeks, weeks felt like months. Everything just seemed to last a lot longer than it should have.

"Did I do something wrong? I-I can fix it, just tell me!"

It might have happened last week, or the week before that. Wasn't it three weeks ago?

"No, no you didn't do anything wrong y/n. I'm sorry this just isn't working out."

Bottom line is, the passing of time hasn't really been on my mind. Any day without him is a day lost, a day to forget about.

"What do you mean this isn’t working out? I thought we were doing well together..."

I remember the confusion that went through me. All of a sudden the four years we spent together seemed to have disappeared.

“You thought wrong.”

He had been acting weird for a while, never quite getting close to telling me what was going through his mind. I hadn’t anticipated it ever ending like this though.

“Not everything you believe is a fact.”

The years I had to get to know him ended too soon. They went by so fast, they might as well have been non-existent.

"I... why? I don’t understand…

This all came too sudden. Just a few days before he had been laying on my bed, smiling as I told him about my day.

"I just don't feel the same anymore."

I just needed a little more time. A little more time to adore him. A little more time to say goodbye.

"I don't love you anymore."

But I still did do. He didn’t seem to care though. After he took care of me for a while, he decided I’m not worth it. Not even as someone who he just passes by.

"It's best if we don't see each other anymore."

If you cherish what you have you'll never be left unsatisfied.

"Goodbye."

I did. And it broke me.

“Y/n? Helloooo?”

My daydreams get interrupted by a waving hand in front of my face, followed by a harsh flick against my forehead.

“Ouch! Mina that was too hard!” Both my hands shoot up to the stinging spot between my eyes, one to prevent the evil hand from handing out another flick, the other one to rub at the red spot forming.

“Class ended a few minutes ago, you should probably pack up. Really, did you just stare off into space for the entire class?” Spotting my close to empty notebook, Mina sighs and shakes her head. She’s trying to look disappointed, but under the scolding exterior she’s putting on, there is a hint of pity.

It’s not the first time this week that not a single word has made it into my notes. Each time again the pages are either filled with lazy doodles and meaningless scribbles, or a space of absolute nothingness, not even a drop of ink staining the white paper.

“I’m sorry, I really did try to pay attention, but you know I hate his classes with a passion.” We both know that’s not the reason for my absentness, and neither of us speaks up about it. It’s what I requested myself, not being able to cope with the sadness I was causing my friends to feel. They care too much, I don’t want to burden them for too long.

“I know sweetheart, you did do your best. I’ll send my notes later, if you want I’ll help you understand them too.” Though no matter how hard I try, I still rely on them. They keep convincing me to, their kind souls not being able to leave me alone. “If you could I’d really appreciate it.”

A sweet smile appears on Mina’s lips as I accept her offer, being more than happy to help me. She has always been the type to give more than she received, and despite me believing she deserves more than she gets, I adore her for it. “Of course, any time.”

I finish packing my belongings into my backpack, first making sure I didn’t leave anything behind before leaving the classroom with Mina close to my side. She talks about everything and nothing as we roam the spacious hallways filled with tired looking students. I wouldn’t be surprised if more than half of them slept until the end of their lectures.

Most of Mina’s words fall on deaf ears as I think back to the thoughts that occupied my mind the entire time my teacher was trying to explain the principle of quantum mechanics. I wouldn’t have understood it regardless of whether I was paying attention or not by the way.

“Ah you don’t have any more classes today, do you?” An unannounced weight falls on my left side as Mina whines into my shoulder, effectively bringing me back down to earth. Some brabbles about life being unfair escape the muffled sounds she produces, clearly not looking forward to the rest of her day.

“I’m going to be so lonely, me and Daeun aren’t allowed to sit next to each other anymore.” Mina raises her head to catch some air, her hands still clinging to the fabric of my shirt. The scowl on her face isn’t hard to miss, as she isn’t doing much to hide it.

“I was just going to head home straight away.” On any other day I would’ve probably teased her, wishing her good luck while I go and enjoy the free life. Today however, I don’t. My face stays in it’s boring resting position, even as Mina waits for the non-existent twist at the end.

It doesn’t take long before she finally sees I’m not poking fun at her. The moment of realization is clear, her whiny expression disappearing and her hands falling back to her sides. “Oh.”

“Well since it’s Friday how about I come hang out at your place when I’m done here? I’ll drag Daeun along with me too.” Mina’s voice is unsure, scared that I’ll reject her offer. A thick tension hangs in the air as we both wait for my reply.

I want to be alone. I want to be able to overthink in peace without others insisting that my mind is wrong. Though on the other side, I do know that I’ve been pushing them away. All the more reason for them to worry about me.

“Yeah sure.” I manage to convince myself to decide on the option I’d like the least. Somewhere I may be hoping that I’ve been missing out on a distraction I needed. I will never know until I experience it.

“Great! I’ll bring snacks too, let’s make it a movie night!” And off she goes, not waiting for any kind of confirmation from my side. Most likely it’s a way to keep me from refusing, forcing me into a situation that’s best for me, according to her.

I might not be looking forward to the events to come, but even I can’t deny the dull blossoming of my heart. The corners of my lips tug up, together with a hand to wave the girl off.

Yeah, perhaps, just maybe, I’m excited to spend some time with them.

I wasted a lot of time trying to figure out what’s wrong with me. Did I gain too much weight? Did I not text him enough? Was I going down the wrong path?

No matter what I wrote down, which new question I thought of, it didn’t seem right. Crumpled up paper balls and clothes littering the apartment show of the frustration occupying my mind.

No aspect of me changed for the worse. I’m still the same healthy weight, we texted almost every day, and I’m running up the path to a successful career. There is nothing wrong with me, so why am I blaming myself so heavily?

Because for some reason I believe that if I had done things differently the outcome would have been better. Because maybe he would’ve changed his mind if I reacted differently. Because it could never be him who was in the wrong.

A knock on the door and the pen I had been holding drops. Focussing on the paper in front of me once more, the harsh worded sentences ending in large written question marks stand out. I’m yearning for answers to questions I don’t even understand myself and it’s terrifying.

Three knocks on the door this time and I’m up, quickly discarding all the papers littering around. Some I tear to pieces, making sure none of the written sentences are visible anymore, others simply get hidden.

The door creaks as it opens, broadcasting it’s old age to the world. I should probably replace it sometime before someone decides to break in. Not that there’s anything worth taking here, I am a student after all.

“Hey dea- Oh no you look horrible.” A slight gasp interrupts Daeun’s cheery greeting when she notices the birds nest that is my hair. After having acted out all my annoyance on the poor strands, they’ve taken to each other for comfort, gladly intertwining. To my dismay, of course.

“I feel horrible. Come in.” The chuckle meant to lighten the statement doesn’t do it’s job properly. Both don’t say anything more as they enter the tiny apartment I call home, but they might as well have been screaming ‘I feel sorry for you.’” If they won’t do it, their faces definitely will.

“I won’t let any of you chose a movie tonight, I’ve got way too many good ideas.” Mina drops the overfilled bags she was holding on the dinner table while she talks. From the few items that stick out it’s safe to deduce that they’re filled with snacks to the brim.

“Also I was thinking we could order some pizza for dinner. All on me, I just got payed.” Like she owns the place, Mina reaches for several bowls high up in the cupboards of the kitchen. “We’ll use these tonight..” She says it more so to herself than to anyone else, not bothering to ask me anything. Not that it was really needed, I would have given her permission anyway.

“How was your day?” Sitting down next to Daeun, who has made herself comfortable on the couch after walking in, I try to start a basic conversation. Even though I’m not particularly in the mood for anything, I decide it’s probably best to try before I ruin the fun.

“You shouldn’t have to pretend that everything is okay, you know.” My question is completely ignored, switched for a statement that sets a heavy atmosphere in the room. The little excitement I had for their visit disappears. Instead, irritation starts taking over.

“Look Daeun, I-”

“I know you don’t want to talk about it, but this is not the way to cope with whatever may be happening inside you right now.” The tone she uses tells me she isn’t about to back out anytime soon. I hate it, hate how she feels like she can tell me what’s best for me.

“If this is what you came here for then I think it’s best that you leave. I’m not playing around here.” I turn away from the both of them, showing my back instead. This was supposed to be a fun evening to get my mind off him. Turns out, it’s the exact opposite.

“She’s right y/n.” It didn’t sound like Mina initially wanted to talk about this. She has always been unsure of when and how to address things, usually rather staying silent. With the right help however, Mina too will spill her words.

“This will always be a part of your life now, no matter how hard you try to erase it, you can’t. I know you’re hurting, and you’re allowed to feel hurt, we just want to help you. We’ll distract you all you like later, but for now, just confide in us please?”

It’s the way I feel both of their eyes burning into my back, the way she isn’t exactly sure how to convey her thoughts, though has the best intentions, the way a gentle hand softly lands on my shoulder. Sooner or later the dam would have broken. Apparently that time has come.

“I gave up so much for that guy! I moved to a more expensive apartment closer to his so we could see each other more, I started working more hours so he wouldn’t need to pay every time we went out together,” I never really got the chance to complain about the negative side to the changes I made, always feeling like it should be worth it, since I did it for him.

“I studied late into the night just so I had time during the day to hang out with him, do you know how much sleep I lost? I couldn’t even go home to my parents regularly anymore, for the distance was too much.”

Not exactly having expected me to rant so much, the two girls seated next to me stare in surprise. Never have I expressed any discomfort with what I was doing, always plastering a smile on my face.

“I don’t even mind that he broke up with me, I mean I do, but he was so cold! I had done my best to keep things going between us and he just gives me an ‘oh I don’t like you anymore’ like it’s common sense. I didn’t even get a thank you for all those years or a sorry for breaking it off! I just wish he’d…”

I take in a deep breath after having forgotten to breathe for the past minute, all the tears I kept in finally making an appearance as my anger get replaced by the same sadness I felt all those days ago.

“I just wished he’d at least given me reassurance I hadn’t been a waste of his time.”

The volume in which I spoke had drastically lowered, coming out in an almost-whisper. All the objects in front of me blurred as a non-stop stream of tears made it’s way out, my cries just mere silent sobs.

The hand resting on my shoulder becomes an arm pulling me into her side, the rough material of her shirt revealing her identity. Daeun doesn’t say anything as her other hand strokes through the strands of my hair, detangling any knots on the way.

For a moment I feel guilty about the tears wetting her shirt. It’s when she pulls me against her a little tighter that the feeling disappears, giving me the opportunity to fully bask in her embrace.

“I’m so sorry sweetheart.” Feeling left out, Mina pats my thigh and breaks the silence. “You worked hard didn’t you? Because you loved him.” I can hear her clothes rustling first, before her arms too wrap around the space Daeun left.

“I still do.” No matter how much I try to forget about him, I can’t seem to do it. He has engraved himself into my mind, forever stuck. If he’d ever leave is a mystery, though for now, it seems impossible.

You know what? Fuck you Kim Taehyung.

“Dude, what do you want for your birthday?” It’s Jungkook who has slammed down my door and completely disturbed my peace.

“Huh? Nothing in particular really.” Despite the rude entrance, I don’t look up from my tv screen, having already gotten used to the lack of announcements before he comes in.

“Didn’t you ask me that already two days ago?” Once again ignoring any form of politeness, the younger one makes grabby hands towards the bag of potato chips laying next to me. I don’t make any move to stop him, knowing very well I can’t win from him in a fight, ever.

“Yeah because I thought maybe you changed your mind. Usually you’re so excited for your birthday, but you just seem so… Unenthusiastic?” There is almost no way to take him seriously when he’s scarfing down my dear food like it’s water. Surely when were out next time I’ll make him get me a new bag.

“Well yeah that’s because…” What exactly was I going to say?

Finally grabbing his full attention, Jungkook puts down the bag of chips and lets himself fall down next to me. “Because?”

There is no mistaking his smirk for a smile, although he does his damn best to hide it. He knows exactly what I was about to say, and I’m not about to admit anything.

“Because I realized it’s nothing to be overly excited about. That’s it.” Challenging Jungkook to prove me wrong I stare right back at him, not planning on chickening out any time soon. It seems to have worked, as he looks away first.

“Ah is that so? I’ll just see if I can find something you’ll like myself in that case.” The boy who has silently admitted defeat removes himself from the couch, moving to his room at the other side of our apartment. “Good luck buddy.”

No longer having to pay attention to him, I rewind the movie I was watching back. That muscle bunny just made me miss the absolute best part.

“So why exactly are you dragging me to town again?”

It’s not too busy today, which should have been a given as it’s a normal weekday. Everyone is either yawning behind a desk or running around in circles depending on their career choices. Compared to them, I’m making the worst possible choice by letting my best friend convince me to skip class for a reason I wasn’t even familiar with.

“I’m having none of this ‘I don’t care what you get me’ nonsense. We’re going to find something you like, and that’s why we’re here.” Jimin takes a pause from pulling me along by hand to put both of his on his waist like a proud toddler.

“So in other words, we’re here so I can choose my own birthday gift?” Slowly I begin to understand how much of a waste of my time this is. I could’ve been doing fine trying to understand whatever Mrs. Wilson wanted to go over today, but instead I’m going to be reminded of my ex all day. Great.

Well, if she was still here it wouldn’t have mattered whether I knew what I wanted or not, she always had something great for me, and I always looked forward to it. Once she jokingly told me how she felt pressured, having to live up to my expectations. Though honestly there was nothing for her to live up to, I liked her gifts because she gave them to me. Because she always managed to make each and every birthday a fun one.

“Any ideas yet? Jewellery, clothes, games… Wait, nothing too expensive, I’ll go broke!” Jimin’s sudden panic manages to bubble up a chuckle in me. He doesn’t really seem to appreciate it though, as he scowls at the sound. “What? Your taste is too expensive!”

He knows me well it seems. Not that it was ever a real secret. When the contents of your closet is worth more than someone’s rent several times anybody would want to show that off right? Well so do I.

We walk into several stores for inspiration. No real shopping haul, just a quick in and out with Jimin trying to get a reaction out of me by stuffing things he thinks I like into my face. So far no real success, my only reaction being something along the lines of ‘ah yes that looks nice’ at everything he proposes.

It’s not like I’m purposefully trying not to find something I truly like, but more that honestly nothing catches my interest. And I promise it’s not even the price, some of my most prized possessions are the cheapest things I own. This just isn’t doing it for me.

After having been pulled into the what feels like the hundredth store, my stomach decides to make the loudest noise known to mankind. “Can we like, maybe take a break?” There is no doubt that my face is bright red at this moment, instantly heating up when Jimin laughs equally as loud.

“If you were hungry you should’ve just said so. Let’s go find something to eat.” Is probably the only sentence he said today that I’ve fully agreed on.

It sounded so easy, just find somewhere to buy food. Unfortunately, getting our tummies filled wasn’t written in our future so soon. No matter where we look, everything is either closed or completely full with customers. Who knew so many other people were hungry at this moment. Not like it’s close to dinner time or anything.

Eventually, I manage to convince Jimin to eat at a small fancy restaurant down the street on my expense. Despite him agreeing after a few attempts, a set pout is still present on his face, which doesn’t seem to be leaving anytime soon. Together with some murmurs about how this isn’t fair, he makes himself look incredibly adorable.

Soon however, I would come to regret my decision. The fancy tablecloths and nicely plated food wouldn’t be looking so appealing anymore. Because even if I had convinced my mind of the truth my constant lies hold, there was simply no way for me to convince my heart too.

“Hey isn’t that y/n and… I don’t think I know him.”

The male opposite her had somehow won her over with that stupid perfect smile he wore, his eyes an annoyingly beautiful ocean deep blue and his blonde hair styled in an awfully neat way. Everything about the sight annoys the heck out of me, including the way she was smiling back at him. Why does she look so happy? When was the last time I saw her like that?

“Oh are they… I’m sorry Tae.”

I was the one who broke up with her. I was the one who walked out with a load haven fallen off of my shoulders. I was the one who ran even though she cried. There is no reason for me not to be completely fine.

“I don’t care, she can do whatever she wants now.”

So then why am I the one hurting this much?

It came sooner than expected, my birthday. Just sort of snuck up on me. After the restaurant incident Jimin himself magically decided to end the shopping trip and go home to eat. Nobody ever mentioned my birthday again in the following days.

It was pretty clear that someone had told the others about what happened, although none of them spoke about it. That someone obviously being Jimin.

“Soooo… any plans for the day?”

The question comes from Jungkook, who is fidgeting with the hem of his oversized hoodie. He stands quietly in the doorway to my room, waiting for an answer he already knows.

“Go to class and study after.”

“You’re not going out of the house? No party planned?” The suffocating nervosity radiates off of him in waves, displayed by the still ongoing fidgeting and his eyes that can’t seem to focus on one thing at a time.

“Nope, no other plans.” I sit up in bed, slowly coming to terms with the fact that I won’t be getting any more sleep. Despite him looking like he’s scared I’m going to get mad, he doesn’t actually give up, which isn’t appreciated on my part.

“Well the boys thought we could maybe go out together, get a few drinks.” On any other day besides my birthday I would’ve most likely agreed to the plan. Today however, I can’t help but relate every proposition to my birthday, which I, in case you hadn’t noticed yet, want to forget about as soon as possible.

I had already given him enough opportunities to stop. All it would take was leaving me alone. His constant persistence ends up getting to me, successfully causing me to snap at the younger boy. If he expected an outburst, he’s getting it.

“Why the fuck does everyone expect me to celebrate today? If my birthday is the day on which I can do whatever shit I want then let me do whatever I want!” It wasn’t meant to come out that way, and the guilt sets in the moment I realize it, but I don’t have time to apologize.

“Dude, you seriously need to do something about your feelings for y/n.” He sighs the words as he casually leans against the wall, his arms crossed. In an instant the awkward energy around him disappears, replaced by a very prominent eye roll. It’s not hard to guess that this has been on his mind for a while.

“Don’t mention her. This has nothing to do with her.”

“This has everything to do with her and you know it.”

I don’t have anything to say against that. We both know it’s the truth, though only one of us is trying to deny it. The dumb one.

“You know what I think? You spent your past 6 birthdays with the girl of your dreams and now that you pushed her away you have no idea what to do. Am I right?”

He is. I don’t say anything as my head lowers, slowly realizing there is no hiding anything from him. She’s still on my mind. I still wonder what she’s doing, where she is, if she’s safe. I still care. “You’re right.”

I broke up with who I considered my other half, convincing myself that I didn’t need her anymore. Who exactly was I trying to protect?

“I had to, I’ll hurt her.” I already did.

“And suddenly breaking up with her is supposed to make her happy?” I was hoping it would in the long run.

“You’re not the same as him.” Though I am. The same parents, the same group of friends growing up, the same sense of humour. We got along so well. What if we still do?

“He’s my brother Kook. We were so alike. You know he once too adored her.” We don’t talk anymore, I’m disappointed in him. He would’ve been too. I don’t understand what changed.

“He used her, nobody saw it coming. The signs were there, he just hid them too well.” Jungkook leaves his spot against to wall to comfort me, tucking my head into his neck.

“You’re not him and he isn’t you. The fact that you no longer want to be associated with him proves everything. He didn’t care about Hyeon.” So he can look straight at me, he pushes me away with his hands on my shoulders. The expression on his face tells me he’s serious.

“You love her, and you’ve got to fix this mess.”

I don’t like agreeing with him, but once again, he’s right.

As soon as I open the door I want to slam it right back into his face. Or I might want to run into his arms, I can’t decide yet. Regardless, I wasn’t expecting Taehyung to be standing on the other side when the doorbell went off.

“Umm… Hi?” All the words that have been building up in my personal dictionary seem to disappear the moment I lay my eyes on him. He still looks as good as the last time I saw him, even though the circumstances were heart-breaking.

“Hey, um I’m sorry I showed up unannounced. I didn’t really think this through…” Everything about him screams awkward. From the way his feet are pointed slightly more inwards than normally, to the way he doesn’t seem to be able to smile naturally. Instead there is this weird, tight expression on his face.

“Oh um… Would you like to come in though?” I don’t wait for an answer as I step aside, my memory helping me remind that nine out of ten times the answer to that question is ‘yes’. “Oh yeah, thank you.”

“Do you want anything to drink?” Not really having anything to say I cycle through the set few sentences I usually need when I have someone over. I’m not happy that he’s here, but I’m not the type to lash out at people.

“Ah no, I’m okay. Look I’m just going to get straight to the point, I messed up big time. I got insecure and closed myself off to everyone including you and I’m so fucking sorry that I did.”

My lack of reaction surprises me. Sure, my insides are doing somersaults, but I don’t feel the need to express any of it. Like an unused sheet of paper, my face stays blank. “And now you’re here to win me back I presume?”

Somewhere in between his statement and mine, the tables shifted. Slowly, I’m gaining the confidence he is losing.

“Well, not really, I mean yes, but-”

He catches himself rambling, shutting his mouth before any real nonsense can make it out. Taking a deep breath helps, the words coming out more fluently after. Not a great start, but it’s okay. I have patience. Sometimes.

“I just wanted to let you know that the words I shot at you that day weren’t true. I hurt you and I didn’t want those words to roam your mind not knowing they weren’t even close to what I was feeling.”

The deep breath he drew in earlier escapes in a deep sigh, followed by his mouth opening and closing a few times without any sounds making it out. “And?” It was meant as a way to encourage him to continue. Sadly, it came out rather rude.

“I do still care about you, damn I still love you more every day. If there is anything I can do to make it up to you please let me know, I don’t want to have to live in a world where my last words to you made you cry. Obviously I would want a second chance at being the proper lover you deserve, but you’re in charge here. If you want me to walk out the door I will.”

There’s a hopeful look in his eyes making my heart beat erratically. In the past I would’ve instantly dropped to my knees, making sure every wish of his came true. I am no longer that girl.

“Tae it’s been months, you can’t just suddenly drop by and tell me you’re sorry. I spent days wondering why you broke up with me, wailing over the fact that you suddenly just didn’t care anymore, and even now you’re not giving me an answer. Why did you suddenly turn your back on me? Why did you not talk to me about whatever was bothering you? Even now you’re making me feel like you couldn’t trust me. Fuck, you just left me there like I was a piece of trash!”

What was once a hopeful look in his eyes, turned into defeat. He won’t give me an answer.

“You can’t just come in here exclaiming to love me after I’ve worked so hard to get myself over you. You can’t just come in here trying to steal my heart when I’m learning to give it to somebody else.”

“The blonde haired dude?”

Perhaps I shouldn’t feel a sense of accomplishment at the clear jealousy in his voice. However, this man did break my heart in two for apparently no reason. Is it weird I would want to get back at him a little?

“His name is Yejun and he’s a great guy. Look, just leave please. I have nothing more to say or hear. We’re done.” Turning away from him I mark the end of this conversation. It takes a while before there is any movement behind me. Slow steps make their way to the front door before pausing.

“I hope he treats you well, but I’m not going to simply give up on you like that.”

And secretly, I was hoping he wouldn’t.

Two, three four days, before I realize it it has been an entire week since I last saw him. Some part of me is scared, scared that he has decided otherwise and I will never hear from him again.

I had told myself getting over him would be easy when I finally accepted the help of my friends, and for a while it was. Or so I thought, because the moment he walked in here I was right back to square one.

I’m in the middle of working on a new project when the doorbell rings. Standing up, I go to open the door wondering who it could be. If he had come back for me after all. Too bad I would soon be disappointed, as the man standing in front of my door was just an ordinary mailman.

“Umm I didn’t order anything?” My eyes fall on almost gigantic package behind the man. If I ordered some furniture I would’ve surely remembered right?

“Are you not y/f/n y/l/n?”

“No I am.”

“It clearly has your name and address on it miss.”

The building up confusion hasn’t left my head yet, but knowing there is nothing else I can do I decide to accept the package. After thanking the courier I close the door and carefully carry the big box into my living room.

The moment I open the big thing up, a bunch of big balloons float up to my low ceiling. There’s a transparent one with little hearts bouncing around inside, one that’s just one big heart itself, another one has the words ‘I love you’ written on it in a neat font. If I hadn’t checked my calendar this morning I would’ve thought it was valentine’s day.

Diving deeper into the box I find a relatively big fluffy teddy bear, hugging what seems to be a letter in a white envelope.

‘When I was 16 a miracle happened, I met the most beautiful girl. Me not being able to contain myself I immediately introduced myself to her. She said he name was y/n. I think it was back then that I decided her voice was my favourite. I was too much of a coward to ask her out at the time. I eventually did, though looking back I wish I did so sooner. There was never a boring day with her by my side.’

That’s all there is. Just a few words on an otherwise empty piece of paper. No signature at the bottom, no name, and still I knew exactly who wrote it.

The next day another package came in. This time a different set of balloons, a different stuffed animal, but the exact same white envelope.

‘When I was 22 my brother and his fiancée broke it off. Just like the piece of shit I have to call my dad he betrayed his partner’s trust, cheating on her without a second thought. My mother heard about it and accused both of us as being just like our father. You know after a while, I really started believing her.’

Each day a new box would come in, always containing a present with a letter attached.

‘I was terrified of hurting you, terrified of you seeing me the way my mom did, so I hid everything from you. I should’ve known that I can’t hide anything, you know me too well. I panicked and left you, the biggest mistake I could ever make. One that made everything that was already happening so much worse. I tried telling myself I didn’t need you, but I just couldn’t.’

I believed him, believed in the words he wrote down.

‘I’m so fucking sorry for everything I put you through. It’s all my fault and I’ll spend forever owning up to my mistakes. I love you and I don’t want to live without you. Please just give me one more chance to prove myself to you. One is all I need.’

I’m sorry Yejun, I can’t forget about him after all.

Actually he should be the one who is nervous, and well maybe he is, but I’m the one standing on his front porch with my knees shaking and my heart beating right out of my chest. At one point I was even scared he would be able to hear me through the door.

Shaking my head I gather all the courage I can to knock on his door before I turn around and run back in the direction I came from. However, when I hear the sound of my fist on the hard wood I briefly still consider hiding somewhere.

Luckily I don’t get the chance to. While still going back and forth between the options staying or coming back some other time, the door creaks. I stiffly force my hands to stay still at my sides. The time it takes for the door to actually open seems like an entirety. If you were to count the passing seconds it would at most be like 5, which doesn’t sound like much, it feels like much.

“y/n?” His stance looks like a ‘what are you doing here?’, but his eyes give more of a ‘please say you’re here to forgive me’. Well, the latter would be right. “Can I come in?”

“Y-yeah of course.”

It’s not hard to notice that he is uncertain of his actions. It pleases me on one hand, as it gives me some sort of confirmation that he doesn’t want to make any more mistakes around me. On the other hand, I don’t like seeing him uptight around me. I wish he was more comfortable when I’m near.

“I received the letters you wrote.” He knows I received his letters, he was the one who wrote them and sent them out. Surprisingly though, he almost audibly swallows at the information like he did something bad.

“Why couldn’t you tell me in person?” It takes me back to the day he suddenly landed on my doorstep. Even when I explicitly asked for it, he gave me nothing.

“I was scared, I couldn’t get the words out. I wasn’t at all prepared.” He takes a pause before continuing. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, I just didn’t know what else to believe at that point.”

Carefully, I reach out my hand to place on top of his laying on his lap. I don’t touch his skin yet, patiently waiting for him to give me some sort of consent. It comes in the form of him softly raising his hand to meet mine.

“I know, we all have our insecure times. You’re not obligated to tell me anything. I can’t and shouldn’t force you to. I’m sorry I doubted you. I was only upset about the way you left.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I thought that if your last memory of me was a bad one you’d forget me faster.”

It didn’t work the way he wanted it to, but he already knows. Already having been hit with that fact multiple times, I decide to spare him. I don’t mention it again.

“Did you ever stop loving me?” At the time it seemed like he did. Like he wasn’t simply acting, like those harsh words were what he truly felt. “Be honest please.” I don’t want any more lies. I’ll accept whatever comes out, even if it throws me right back to where I started.

“I-I don’t know… I really thought my mother was right. That what I had for you wasn’t what it seemed to be.” His gaze briefly drifts to the ground, before focussing on our touching hands. Like magic, the uncomfortableness he was feeling seems to shift. “No matter what she or I tried to convince myself of, something was always missing. I couldn’t put a mask over my own hurting and guilt anymore.”

He spoke the truth. Well at least I think he did. And so I accepted it.

“Okay, thank you for telling me.”

This talk was long overdue. Something we both needed and completely missed. No screaming, no crying, no accusing. If only it went this way from the start. We’re not all perfect though. Even if someone out there is, I’m not, he isn’t. They must be laughing at us.

“Your letters were cheesy. The gifts too.” I’m not sure if this is me trying to lighten the mood, or if I’m just stating facts. Regardless, it makes the both of us smile.

“I know. But you love cheesy things, like the roses I buy you on special occasions.” When he looks back at me I have to resist the urge to jump on him. The smile he wears look good on him. It’s been a while since I’ve seen it. “You know me too well.”

“Well did they work?”

I had already made up my mind a few days back. While staring at the floating balloons occupying my living room I had decided for myself that he’s worth it. He is.

Tilting my head up like I’m still thinking, I make clear ‘hmm’ sound. I had thought that the answer is quite obvious, seeing as I came to him myself, but when doubt takes away his smile I drop the act. I’ve been through enough. We’ve both been through enough.

“Yeah, yeah it did.”

Unlike myself, he doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around me. Burying his head in the crook of my neck like he used to do, he lets out a few low ‘thank you’s’. It doesn’t take me long to return the hug, feeling just as safe with him as I used to.

“What about.. Ah I forgot his name.” It’s not hard to guess who he’s hinting at, the sourness in his voice giving him away. I understand, I wouldn’t like it either.

“I ended things.” His answer just comes in the for of a small nod. There is no need for anything more.

“I honestly thought you were going to reject me again.” He ends his sentence with a chuckle and completely relaxes in my hold. Now that the tension is gone, we can go back to where we left off, slowly rebuilding what was lost.

“I was just playing with you, I’m sorry. But no more being an asshole okay? I promise I will kick your ass.” My giggling might undermine the threat a little to others. Luckily, he knows I’m serious.

“I will give you full permission to, but you’ll never have to. I’m going to dump so much love on you that you’ll regret ever even thinking about taking me back. You’re stuck with me now though, so you better be prepared.”

Pulling himself back a little, he plants a gentle kiss on my lips. And then another one, a second one, three more, each kiss more passionate than the last. A fire spreads throughout my body, burning away the few doubts I had left with success. Eventually, to my dismay, I have to pull back for air. Damn humans for needing oxygen.

“Oh? I’d like to see you try.”

Just in case you were wondering, I never did regret it.

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