#physically from being awake since 3am but.

[emmitaaa4]

Azriel, you beautiful, complex man.

Anyone else ever lay awake at night thinking that it’s not that Azriel wants a mate, any mate: it’s that he believes only a mate—only someone who was meant to love him—could love him ?

Do you ever think about the fact that Azriel’s visceral response to Elain looking up at him with trust & hope, was to believe that there was no possible way she could ever look at him that way if she knew the things he’d done and been forced to do? If she knew that his scarred hands mirrored his marred soul? Yet we know Elain has never balked from him and has only ever seen beauty in his scars; in who he is.

Do you ever think about the way Azriel feels this need to prove himself useful—which is why he so clings to his titles and his job—for if he is needed, he cannot be abandoned?

Do you ever want to shout from the rooftops that Azriel is so much more than this « darkness » he cloaks himself in, and that he doesnt need someone to heal him & « handle his darkness ». Healing, for Az, does not mean fighting & ‘killing’ his demons, it means being at peace with himself & learning to live with them without needing to mask who he is. He needs to begin to believe that there is darkness and light in him to love.

Does your heart ever squeeze when you understand that allowing yourself to be loved, first means bearing yourself to another & willingly risking being hurt ? It requires an unparalleled level of emotional vulnerability from him. You ever realize that Az uses his shadows as an emotional crutch, that he so carefully masks his expressions, yet it takes but a look for Elain to read him? He, who finds his strength & perseverance in hope, found his match in her gentle, hopeful heart—and he physically has to keep himself apart from her, only allowing himself to act upon his feelings when she made the first move. Entitlement where?

Truly, how has the fandom decided that Azriel, who follows the sound of Elain’s laugh, who listened to her when no one else would & didnt let her be misunderstood, who trusted her with TT so she could protect herself & those she loves, who stayed up past 3am as she spoke of her passions, who made everyone wait for her to eat, who chooses to sun his wings next to her in peaceful, quiet company… is an entitled, flaky male that sees her as nothing but a sexual distraction?

Do people really not realize what it means for him to question the Cauldron, question the very core of his beliefs?

1) It is not his feelings he questions:

His mind is tortured by thoughts of Elain, so much so he can’t sleep;

They do not need words to communicate, indicating familiarity & understanding;

He IS showing more than “just lust”, it’s clear from their interactions since the first trilogy. There was something there before Nessian happened.

2) Not only does he believe himself unworthy of her, but that sentiment is reinforced by the fact that the Cauldron “broke the pattern”. I do not see the entitled man the fandom speaks of. What he is is a deeply traumatized man, who was abused as a boy by the people who were meant to love him & protect him.

The popular thought that Az would fold for a mate, regardless of who she (or he) is, is truthfully not attractive, not to mention that it implies he’d only risk love for a “guaranteed” happy ending.

=> “Az wants a mate therefore give him a mate” is counterproductive to his growth (tho to clarify, i am not saying he should not have a mate, just that there is a way the story should be told.)

We have seen him plan for snowball fights & tactical missions, yet never for his future: not with Elain—again, he never even actually allowed himself to consider pursuing her—but not in any other sense either:

Children? he tells Cass he doesnt know if he wants any—has he ever let himself imagine having a child? A house ? he has no place to himself. Remember that even after 500 years of existence, Az says he still does not know where he belongs?

Could you not imagine two people who make themselves what others need them to be, being brave enough to bare those hidden, repressed parts of themselves to the other. Can you not see the growth it would require from both of them should they give themselves a chance? To, on one hand, choose the other despite what is expected & the problems it would cause, and on the other, be vulnerable enough to receive that love & believe yourself worthy of it.

Love doesnt care for convenience. It could all go to hell but at least they’d know they had tried, and i do not see how that could ever make for a boring, 2 dimensional story.

#azriel #azriel shadowsinger #pro azriel #elain archeron #i love him and her and them #elriel #pro elain #azriel bonus chapter #acosf bonus chapter #acosf #acotar #azriel acotar

[ellieluvr420]

We meet again, darling pt.4 (detective Abby Anderson x criminal reader)

Synopsis: Abby Anderson is a skilled detective that's never let a criminal escape her grasp, until you. You've infiltrated every part of her life and she still can't get you. As she grows more and more intrigued by you she finds herself descending further into darkness until there's no way back. She takes your hand and follows you as if your presence is the only thing giving her life knowing that you are the most dangerous thing for her. Her life will never be hers again and she will stop at nothing to keep following you down your path of corruption.

Smut... kinda, MDNI please xxxx

Abby jolts awake at the sound of her phone ringing. She had struggled to fall asleep earlier that night just like she had most nights since Dan. His face haunted her sleep. Sometimes it was memories from her childhood where he looked happy and carefree as they did when they were kids but sometimes his face was pale and sweaty and twisted up in pain, both physical and emotional. No matter what the dream was it always ended the same: Abby stabbing him and him choking on his own blood while he asked why? How could she do this? Every night she'd wake up in a cold sweat, hyperventilating with tears threatening to spill over her cheeks. But tonight, she didn't. She woke because her phone rang. Because you rang.

Abby looks at the number only to see its unknown and she sighs already knowing who it is.

"Do you know what time it is?" Her voice was groggy and deep from sleep and your breath hitched at the sound of her disgruntled words.

"No, isn't it 2pm?"

Abby can practically hear the grin through the phone and she sighs even harder this time.

"You're not funny."

"Yes I am don't lie, that's a sin"

"Your whole life is a sin."

"Jeez someone's grumpy."

"You wake me up at.." Abby takes the phone from her ear to look at the time. "THREE AM?? Have you lost your mind?"

"Yes, years ago."

"Do you enjoy being the biggest pain in my ass? Is that why you called... at 3am?

"Yes and kind of. I'm calling because I've got everything set up for you to start your part of the plan, I think we should give it a name I was thinking: Mission take over, what do you think?" Abby rolls her eyes and lays back down with the phone still at her ear.

"No, that's awful. What about.... Mission call me at 3am again and I'll kick your ass?"

"I'd like to see you try. You don't have a good track record."

"Hanging up now."

"Wait a minute, we're going to dinner tonight. Be ready 8pm sharp and dress nice."

"Anyone ever told you you're bossy?"

"Everyday of my life. It's part of my charm. Okay that was all I wanted to tell you so get some rest sleeping beauty."

"You called me at 3am to tell me we're going to dinner?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"I really don't like you."

"Aw yes you do. Goodnight sunshine!" You do a loud kiss through the phone and hear her sigh before she hangs up. You giggle and put your phone down as there's a knock at your office door.

"Come in."

Richter walks in with a bottle of wine and two glasses. He sits quietly and pours you both a glass.

"What's got you up at these hours?" You look at him with an unamused look.

"When am I not? And I could say the same for you."

"Fair point. I'm actually just about to head back to mine but I thought you'd want to know that Eddie rang."

You sigh and rub your forehead knowing that is never good.

"What now?"

"Cops bagged Marlow, apparently they've offered him a deal to talk."

"They always do. Do you think he will?"

"No I don't think he will, but..."

"Oh there's always a but."

"Eddie's worried, there's been more arrests recently, not all of them get charged but he's worried they're getting closer. We've went under the radar for so long now, is our luck running out?"

"It's not luck Johnny for fuck's sake. We're smart and we're careful. This. This is a rat. Come on I'll walk you out, I need to pay someone a visit."

Richter gives you a strange look but shrugs and starts walking as you follow him out.

Abby jolts awake for the second time tonight as she feels herself being shaken.

"AH WHAT THE FUCK!"

"Sorry, sorry. It's just me."

"You are fucking insane, how and why are you in my apartment at 4 in the fucking morning?"

"You have crap security we've been over this" You begin to pace at the foot of her bed. "I need a favour."

"A favour? You really think you're in a place to be asking for favours right now."

"Hey, when I came in it looked like you were having a really bad dream so er your welcome for waking you up from that. Please just listen to me this is serious." You stop and look her dead in the eyes as you say this and for the first time you notice she's not wearing anything on her top half. You can see the protrusion of her collarbones and the definition of her muscles and you don't even realise you've been ogling her until you meet her unimpressed eyes. Although she's gracious enough to not mention it, you gulp as you know you've been caught.

"Right. Well, um, I think there's a rat. Lower down of course but clearly high up enough to know a good amount about the structure of my business. More of my men have been getting arrested and some of them are getting charged. I need you to find out who the rat is so I can deal with them. Abby this is so important, I need you to find out today or this could fuck up mission: take over."

"Are you actually going to start calling it that?"

"Abby!"

"Jeez. Sorry, I will find out what's going on today."

"Oh thank god." You sit down on the bed next to her and put a hand on her strong thigh and squeeze. "Thank you, sorry for scaring the shit out of you... and waking you up... twice." You smile at her and she smiles back.

"It's okay I guess, only you could get away with this shit."

"Oh yeah?" You tilt your head and smirk at her. "Am I special?" You lean in close so your faces are centimetres apart. Abby brings a hand to your cheek and pulls you closer so your noses are practically touching. She leans in until your lips are touching.

"Yeah. You are." She lunges forward and presses her lips to yours in a hungry and desperate kiss. The shock you feel at her actions immediately subsides as want takes over. You feel her tongue licking at your lower lip, begging to be let in. You can't help but feel the need to tease so you go to pull away until her other hand finds its place on the back of your head keeping you firmly in place. She bites down on your lower lip and as you gasp she takes this as her opportunity to slip her tongue into your mouth. You feel completely out of control as you moan into her mouth. She pulls away for a second to raise her eyebrows at the noise you let out.

"Shut. Up." You grab her face and immediately start kissing her. Harder and more passionately this time. You straddle her hips and her hands immediately find their places on your hips squeezing so hard you expect bruises to form. You pull away from her lips and start kissing down her jaw and neck. You hear Abby almost growl and you feel her strong hands pull you away from her. You frown until you notice her hands pulling at your t-shirt. You help her by lifting your arms up and she throws the t-shirt somewhere on the floor of her room. You realise you didn't have a bra on when you see her eyeing your boobs hungrily. She looks up at you and down at them again. She grabs them and squishes them together and then kisses each nipple, she looks up with her face still resting on your chest and the sight is enough to make you cum right there and then. She gets a mischievous grin on her face.

"You have a great rack."

"Oh you just had to ruin the moment." You say giggling as you push her face away from you. She grabs you and pulls you down with her so you're laying on top of her.

"Hey I mean it."

"I will get up and leave right now." She wraps her arms tightly around your waist so there is absolutely no space between you two. "No you won't."

"Oh whatever." You go back to kissing her and her hands go back to your hips as she starts rocking you atop her. You groan into her mouth and you feel her smile into the kiss. She flips you both over and starts kissing down your neck and your chest until she reaches your left nipple. She sucks it into her mouth while making dead eye contact with you. You gasp as she pinches the right nipple and immediately swaps her ministrations. Once she's paid both nipples sufficient attention she kisses down your stomach and licks a strip back up and finishes it off with a kiss between your breasts. She shuffles down the bed and wraps her fingers round the band of your bottoms.

"Can I take these off?"

"Obviously."

She rips them down and throws them also onto the floor. She goes to kiss the hem of your underwear but stops when you thread your fingers through her soft hair.

"Wait. Come here."

"Yes boss." You giggle as she crawls back up toward your face and pull her into a messy kiss. You palm her perky breasts and roll her pink nipples between your fingers, she hisses.

"Aw is someone sensitive?" You pout at her and she smirks at you as she grabs your cheeks and squishes them together as she presses a chaste kiss to your lips.

"You are so much cuter when you don't talk." She squishes your cheeks with each word she says and then leans down and bites at your neck hard enough you're sure there will be a bite mark.

"I hate you so much." She looks at you with raised eyebrows as she places a hand over your mouth firmly.

"No you don't." She moves back down your body and takes the hem of your underwear between her teeth as she slides the underwear down your thighs, You instinctively clamp your legs shut as you're exposed in front of her but she grabs one of your thighs and pushes it down flush to the bed.

"uh uh uh, come on darling, no hiding now." She echoes your words from your conversation on the balcony with a wicked grin on her face. You roll your eyes and groan into her hand. She peppers kisses and leaves bruises all over your thighs until your bite her hand.

"Oh someone's impatient aren't they?" She leans down and licks a stripe from your hole to your clit moaning as she tastes you on her tongue. She sucks your clit into her mouth for a second and then presses a quick kiss to it before she crawls back up to be face to face with you. She grabs your neck, gentler than the other times she's choked you, her intentions different this time and kisses you hungrily so you can taste yourself on her tongue. You both kiss until you have to pull away to gasp for breath and she sits up giving you the most hot look you've ever seen as she wipes her mouth with her thumb. She leans back down and presses her thumb over your lips and you happily take it into your mouth and suck. She moans as she feels your tongue swirling around her thumb and sucking, hard. She pulls it out with a pop and smears the spit over your lips and chin. She bites her lip and flashes a devilish grin before she begins to get up and pull her top off the ground as she puts it on over her head.

"What are you doing?"

"That's what you get for waking me up in the middle of the night... twice." She goes to walk out the room but turns back and looks at you. "And for shooting me." As she walks out of the room you throw your head back in frustration and begin trailing your hand down your body to your heat. Abby appears back in the doorway with two bottles of water and an unimpressed look on her face. She pulls you by your foot to the end of the bed and brings her face inches to yours.

"Don't even think about it."

She drops a bottle of water onto the bed for you and you throw yourself back in frustration as you hear Abby laugh as she walks away.

"Fucker."

psa: sorry sorry i had to do it, going back and editing these now i've decided to actually post has been fun. Hope you enjoyed whoever has made it this far and more action is coming i promise, in more ways than one... ;). New chapters coming soon because i love this story and Abby is perf <3 okay byeeee

#abby anderson #abby x reader #abby anderson x reader #abby tlou #abby the last of us #tlou abby #abby anderson x female reader #abby x fem!reader

[copperbadge]

I feel like I could write roughly ten thousand words about my newly formed and extremely complex relationship with Amsterdam, given I only spent six hours there and two of those were in the train station. I have three or four posts in my head about it, from "Why is every indoor space in this city kept at roughly the boiling point of Tungsten" to "The Nice Things That Happened To Me In Amsterdam" to "That Time Someone Stole My Stroopwafel" but I think you all will be most entertained by the fact that I have a new feud, and it is with the entire Rijksmuseum.

I've been in museums that were a bit crap and museums that didn't interest me and even museums like today's that were physically uncomfortable, but I have never so hated a museum as I hated the Rijksmuseum by the time I left it.

And it's not the Rijksmuseum's fault! Yes, there are issues with the museum's physical structure -- the insane number of stairs and lack of lifts, the fact that the thermostat could be turned down from "temperature of the sun" to "next door to hell" if they wanted, the bizarrely poor lighting -- but not all of those can be fixed, and they're clearly doing their best. Plus it was mad crowded. But I've been in crowded, poorly-designed spaces before and always found something to love. There was nothing for me in the Rijksmuseum.

So I don't think it's the museum itself. I think that museum and I have some kind of spiritual feud. I think the museum feels actively malevolent to me in a way few buildings ever have because it hates me, personally. I don't know why -- could be to do with my Dutch ancestor who left Amsterdam (the infamous Mennonite Pirate) or perhaps it knows my heart truly belongs to the Art Institute and this is spite. In any case, it may think it has won, but I'm retreating strategically. Someday I will come back to Amsterdam and I will fight the Rijksmuseum and we will settle this once and for all. Bicycles will undoubtedly be involved.

I will eventually do a post about the lovely things I did in Amsterdam, including the grocery store (also kept at the melting point of steel, unfortunately) and Albert Cuyp Market, where I got the stroopwafel (eventually) and bought a nice new bag, and even the genuinely best part of the day, where I walked down a side street to Sarphatipark and discovered that Amsterdam is really very beautiful and quiet if you step off the main roads. @rumtastique I have to apologize for being mortal enemies with the Rijksmuseum but as mentioned in comments you did absolutely save my life when I consulted my notes from talks we'd had about Amsterdam and took advantage of all your good advice (particularly the advice about having cash on hand). (Josh, I didn't get to the bakery you recommended but I really wanted to. I'm keeping it in my notes for next time.)

Still, while I will make those posts, I have been awake since 3am and that's part of the problem, so I'm going to set an alarm to wake me before we reach Paris, and sleep until then.

This isn't over, Rijksmuseum. And next time I'll come prepared: I'll wear a tank top.

#sam travels #the cheese tour #amsterdam #rijksmuseum

[iamnotoriginalphil]

Oh I looove the last prompt - big cat fan here

Maybe I can one up that one in a way

Weems as all kind of animals on school ground, to have a look on all pupils - ex- and introverts, the loud and the quiet and the lonely. She just cares so much about them. 'Cause we never really got an explanation if she can change into any human form or any living thing. I think that would be cute

Maybe after one to many times of day's work and night shift she is exhausted and reader who has become a friend interferes in a way

Cats are really good. I hope you like this one.

“Okay, enough.”

Larissa looked up from her lit up computer screen, the dark circles clear under her eyes. You shut the door behind you, turning the key in the lock to keep from being interrupted as you handled the intervention you felt was necessary. She slowly shut the laptop.

“What is this?” she asked.

“You’re exhausted,” you said, walking towards her, “and I know why.”

“I’m looking after my students,” she replied, tilting her chin up, looking down her nose at you.

“You’re exhausting yourself,” you said, sitting in the chair across from her.

She stared at you for a moment before slumping back in her seat. She pinched the bridge of her nose, letting out a tired sigh. Your heart ached for her but you needed her to admit she was doing too much. Even if it was for her students.

“I just want them all to be okay,” she said, sounding lost and hopeless.

“They will be, but not if you keep up with this,” you replied softly.

She passed a hand over her face and any vestiges of the mask truly fell away. Every line of her body spoke of her exhaustion, her tiredness bone deep. You sighed.

“I just worry for them,” she admitted.

“I know, that’s what makes you such a good principal, Rissa,” you said, “but if you’re up all night you can’t help them.”

“So what do you think I should do?” she snapped, “since you’re so smart.”

“Well, you shouldn’t roam the school as all kinds of animals until sunrise” you said.

“Cat purring is very beneficial for mental and physical health,” she said.

“And the time I caught you as a deer wandering through the quad at 3am?” you asked.

“A very important night,” she said but she turned her eyes away from you.

“Very detailed,” you said, immediately regretting when she took a shuddering breath, “sorry, I’m just worried about you.”

You stood up, making your way around to her side of the bed. You slid your arms around her shoulders, pulling her into a hug. Her arms wrapped around your waist, face pressed into your stomach and you held her as she sagged against you.

“I just don’t know how to make sure they’re all okay,” she said, voice muffled.

“I know, love,” you murmured, “I know.”

“This fixes the problem,” she said, “this way I can look after them all.”

“Maybe…” You hesitated, worried she wasn’t going to agree to it, “maybe you should only check in on them when they’re awake.”

“I… yes okay, maybe I haven’t been thinking straight about this,” she said, drawing back from you.

“Well you are exhausted,” you said.

“Yes, I suppose that would do it,” she agreed.

“So I think maybe you should go sleep now, take a nap, and then you’ll make a new plan when you wake up,” you said.

She nodded, rising from the chair. Your arms slipped from around her and she gave you a grateful smile. You grinned back.

“Thank you,” she said.

“Just take care of yourself,” you replied.

She nodded and slipped out of the office to go sleep. It would do for now. You could address the rest of it some other time.

#larissa weems imagine #larissa weems x reader #larissa weems #principal weems x reader #principal weems imagine

[noisydiary]

coming clean

☾ | a lil 2.8k nightlock ramble- trying to ramble out the start of the transition from their relationship being physical to being romantic + new update has been rotating in my brain. more or less pressing into deadlock's mental state/ptsd and how she's Processing (she's Not) ------

Sunset was… Tough.

'Tough', meaning, that was the best Iselin could do to put her thoughts into words. She'd thought- or rather hoped- that vindication would feel so much better. Then again, she'd hoped to do more. That she could hurt Kingdom much like they did in their ignorance. Instead, all she got was the truth she already knew. That their corporation was corrupt.

To have this hope that her issues would be solved. That she could go through, prove to Brimstone, and remove what she thought to be the source of her trouble- only to find herself still staring at her ceiling. That the seconds, the minutes, the hours- the time wasted staring at that damned ceiling, knowing time was being wasted. That she couldn't do anything. That she still laid there, her mind so full of what felt like nothing. Nothing she could describe, anyway. That it felt so stuffed she couldn't think past it, and yet she couldn't put it to sleep. All of the gears were turning, making so much noise, and doing nothing.

The easy way out to it was one she'd taken more than once by now… To crawl her way to the one person who still was awake and 3AM- to the dreamseer who couldn't sleep from the noise that filled her own mind. Unfortunately, that would mean caving. Fade had made her stance quite clear the last time Iselin laid in her bed.

"Deadlock?"

"Mm…?"

"You know, as much as these are nice… You can't rely on this forever."

"And what does that mean."

"I can put you to sleep this way, but you've offered me your nightmares. I can take them, but that won't stop them forever. You can't keep running away from your fears."

Iselin didn't respond, but Fades words still found their way through the haze in her mind. She'd not made her way back there since- seeing as she never had a good response. As far as Iselin was concerned, feeling nothing was better than clearing the haze. It sucked, laying alone- but feeling like she did at Kingdom's base… that was worse.

Thinking on that, though, broke the radio silence. Her mind wandered to the mission, to Gekko and Wingman, the facility. Thinking of the beasts, the machines and the technicians- all of the people working with things they didn't understand-- That they had no idea what they were creating, these people making weapons of destruction. It wasn't a far leap for her thoughts to start rushing through everything else she'd pushed out of her mind. Running through Sunset- through the forgotten facility- the idiot they sent with her and her team- the lack of information they gave them- how little they gave to prepare- how small a team they sent in knowing they would die- that they never came for her beacon- the knowledge that if Sova did not find her distress signal, she would have been left for dead- maybe she was better off dead- maybe-- Nei- Nei-!!

Shooting up to sit upright, she grit her teeth and shut her eyes, taking deep breaths as she pulled her knees up to her chest and held herself together- holding her knees with her real arm as her nub tried doing the same, feeling the phantom following suit. It wasn't much to stop herself from hearing everything buzz inside, her heartbeat in her ears and the whispers that lingered along with everything else. What else would you expect in opening the floodgates?

Hvorfor gjorde jeg ikke nok… Hvorfor tenker jeg fortsatt på dette- hvorfor blir jeg ikke bedre. Hvorfor sitter jeg fast- Hvorfor døde jeg ikke? Hvorfor måtte de dø- hvorfor advarte de oss ikke?

Questions she'd ask herself, having no good answer to any of them, really. Questions she wanted answers to, and some that she didn't. Some that she wished were buried with the rest of that damned Vault-- or that she could tear apart until nothing remained.

Asking them, though, gave nothing- as she sat on her bed, shaking. Every question poked another hole in the veil, leaving her breath uneasy, her pulse heavy as it drummed through the silence of headquarters. It took more effort to stop asking, and to leave things as they were- finding no solace in herself. She still had no answer, but… There was a little part of her that didn't want to be alone.

No matter how much she'd kept her distance from everyone, that she'd made certain not to make ties, an ache still remained. Hell, even with Fade and their nights-- a part of the controller ached for the lavender incense she burned, even if her presence meant little to the dreamseer. If all that remained there was the physical nature of their 'relationship', then damn it, she wanted it. If just not to be alone with herself- even if she didn't have the answer Fade wanted… if she wanted it at all.

Taking a longer breath, Iselin stretched herself out of the ball she'd curled into, easing herself out of her mind and into the world once more. She glanced through her barren room to her prosthetic, sitting on her desk as it charged through the night. With a small huff, she got up, focusing on one task at a time. Walking to the desk, grabbing her arm- breathe. In, out. Attaching the arm, she turned on her heel and made her way out of the room, shutting the door behind her as she walked through headquarter's halls.

By this point, the doors of most every other agent sat closed- as the other agents settled in for sleep. Even if they didn't, they were respectful- keeping quiet. The walls were thin, as Skye had told her once before. "Brim and Breach have a tendency to go at one another if ya leave 'em alone too long, you can hear em all the way down in the bloomin' basement-!" as far as Iselin recalled.

The memory caught her for a moment, as a light smile came to her- if only a brief respite from everything else swimming around in there. That, and her nerves pricking up as she came to the door in question, seeing it open just enough for light and air to come through; the air carrying warmth along with it, as the light flickered. Iselin paused before the door, knowing it'd be easy enough to push the door open. Fade kept the door open, in case anyone stopped by- though no one did. "They're afraid of öcü- me."

Iselin took that moment to focus again, letting the nerves building in her quiet, knowing damn well they wouldn't. She took a long breath in, biting her lip as she reached out to the door with her prosthetic, knocking gently enough that the metal didn't echo. Following the knock, she called inside, keeping her voice low as she controlled herself, "Fade?"

In the moments that passed, Iselin pulled her hand back from the door, rubbing the skin on her palm with her thumb. Flighty as she felt, a half thought came to her- that Fade didn't hear, that she could run away and forget it.

Instead, she heard a simple, "Ya?"

Dritbra-- Silencing the thought, Iselin let go of her real hand and reached for the door, pressing it open just enough to peer inside.

Fade sat on her bed, her attention focused to the door as she sipped from her mug, moving to place it on the bedside as her eyes clocked Iselin. "Ah- Deadlock. Can't sleep?"

Her words had a lightness to them, as if she'd meant to laugh- Not cruel, though, not as far as Iselin could tell. Just that she'd grown that predictable, it seems. However, as Iselin pushed the door open fully, Fade's smile fell. Her eyes traced over Deadlock, though Iselin did what she could to avoid her gaze. Her eyes drifted to the candles Fade had lit, knowing Fade was looking over her. She- wasn't in the best condition, if just for lack of trying. A lot of it didn't… really matter. Not when there were other things she could be doing. Part of it, though, was the way she'd held herself. A lot of it was the honest fact- she wasn't exactly in the mood to be stiff, to be upright and steady. In all honesty, she felt small. Weak, just standing there, being gazed at.

Even acknowledging that mentally was enough for her to avoid Fade's eyes, which felt more like they peered into her soul rather than just her body. With a beat, Iselin pulled her prosthetic back, holding her wrist as she realised Fade was waiting for an answer. That little hurdle got Iselin to speak, her words softer, "I-… You were right."

Iselin bowed her head in that, feeling weight in her chest as it felt harder to even speak- as guilt and shame started to mesh with the panic from earlier. Too late to backpedal, she continued, shaking her head softly, "…I don't think I am okay."

Saying it out loud, as much as she hated the thought, felt as a relief. As if the pressure of saying the words was more than the words themselves… And much like removing a plug from a drain, she continued- "I keep staying awake at night, because when I sleep, I have nightmares. I keep losing focus- or my temper, or anything else. I feel like I am losing my mind at times, when I feel I should be fine. I should be fine- Herregud! I should be fine, and I don't think I am- I don't know how to fix this. It… sounds ridiculous out loud…"

As much as Iselin's voice grew, she quieted as she realised what drained, and what little relief she'd gotten from her first statement was quickly replaced with embarrassment, anxiety. She tried to stammer out something else- her hands moving as she floundered for words, trying to make her mind think of something- an apology for dumping this on a bunk bunny, or anything to better explain herself.

Instead, what came was silence, as Iselin stopped her anxious movements. Fade stayed quiet- suspiciously so. Enough that Iselin lifted her head from the items around Fade's room to actually look at her, seeing that she had put away her laptop at some point, having moved from the centre of her bed to the side. Her lips were pursed, though her eyes were soft- meeting Iselin's when she finally looked. At that point, Fade gently patted the space she'd made, giving a calm response back. "Tesekkuler- thank you for telling me."

At a loss for words, Iselin's eyes watered at the response- her lips parting before a little smile came to her, seeing as Fade pat the space again. "Sit. If you're willing to talk, I will listen."

Iselin followed her direction, moving and sitting in the space allotted. She brought her legs up to sit criss-cross, letting her hands fall into her lap- looking to Fade again once she was settled in, seeing her lean forward and tilt her head as she looked Iselin over again. She then pulled back, giving Iselin space as she spoke, "You are still mourning, kar tanesi."

Easy as the words were out of Fade's mouth, hearing someone else say it- to have it said so simply and true, it hit like a truck. So much so that Iselin let off a scoff, as she looked off to one of the tapestries hanging on the walls. Aldri…

Noting her response, Fade leaned forward- moving and taking Iselin's real hand in hers, her touch light, hesitant. Iselin turned her attention to Fade once more, seeing as she waited. Iselin turned her hand and took Fade's grip, listening as she spoke, "Ya, I know- that sounds stupid to you, doesn't it?"

"…A little." Iselin nodded, trying to better form something of value instead of simply nodding along. "I- simply thought I would be done by now. We knew what we walked into- to be upset now, it's…"

"Alright." Fade finished Iselin's thought, firm in her answer as she gave a tight squeeze to Iselin's hand. "It is alright. Being upset, being afraid, it is okay. It is not a sign of weakness that you still carry this. It is, however, a sign that you haven't let yourself grieve."

The best Iselin could muster in return was a soft hum, as her gaze drifted off, her mind starting to wander again. Thinking of Amalie, of Tora, and of the researcher they lost. Not to mention the ache in her own body, as what could best be described as a stump ached it's own loss.

Once again, Fade's voice brought her back- if just a little. "You haven't, have you?"

Iselin let off a soft chuckle back- one almost pitiful as she shook her head, "Death was always an outcome."

"Boş yapmayin- that is not what I am asking."

Fade's voice stayed firm as she pressed, causing Iselin to wince as she shook her head once more, stronger this time as her hand tightened around Fade's. "It was something I should have expected-"

"That is not the question, kar tanesi. You have not let yourself grieve- you are still carrying all of this shit with you, playing strong."

"I don't need to--" Iselin hissed back, feeling her muscles tense as her heart started racing once more.

Fade pulled back on Iselin's hand, her expression softening as she let go. "Breathe."

Gritting her teeth, Iselin took a beat, following Fade's command and breathing. Once she'd calmed, she bit her lip and looked back up to Fade, feeling a touch of guilt eating its way through her once more. "No, I haven't."

"Do you know why?"

"Nei." Her response was immediate, almost sharp in the way she spat it.

Fade took her answer and pulled back, nodding. "That's- about what I expected. You haven't processed what happened, either."

"Ja, I know…"

Iselin let off a sigh as she shut her eyes, feeling as the adrenaline in her system ebbed out- leaving exhaustion in it's place. Her head swayed as she leaned her arms onto her knees, "You'd said that before, about my dreams."

"I did, ya. Your nightmares stem from something, and as much as I know what they come from, I can't stop it from tormenting you while you're awake. But, I also said I am here to listen. If you want me to be a voice of reason, then I'll be a voice of reason… You simply don't seem up for discussing much."

As Fade's bluntness settled, Iselin felt her grab onto her shoulder, gently pulling her backwards. "You'll fall over at this rate."

With another little huff, Iselin followed her motion, laying back onto her bed. She let her eyes open at that point, as she looked to Fade sitting above her- seeing the softer expression she wore. That in and of itself had a different vein of thoughts in Iselin's mind- the kind that weren't… particularly relevant given the current setting. Even though she was still beautiful with the deep colour under her eyes- her expression mixed with her own exhaustion. And yet, here she was, listening. Somehow, a bit of Iselin thought she wouldn't. That she was offering to be polite, and yet, here they were- leaving Iselin with the muddle of emotions that was.

Instead of managing that, though, she gave back a thin smile, one more of kindness than anything else. "Thank you- for listening."

"Of course." Once again, her simple response chimed back, as she pulled her hands to herself, "Though I'm certain anyone would listen if you need it."

A laugh came from Iselin as she shook her head, "Really- I doubt that…"

"Deadlock." Fade's eyes darkened as she scowled. "I know for a fact I am not the only one at Protocol that knows you have been through something. Sikiş aşkına, your physical wounds haven't healed, how would your mind have healed faster? I know for certain that if you would rather someone else, Skye would always listen. The same extends to Sage, or Sova if you would rather someone who knew your situation better. No one expects you to be alright by now- no one except yourself, but that will come with time."

As Fade finished her lecture, she paused for a moment, before pulling back, "Now, I assume you're going to try to rest again, ya? You seemed to tire yourself out more than I ever could~"

Iselin scowled right back, moving to smack Fade's arm with her real one- not trusting her strength at the moment with her prosthetic. Her hit was met with laughter from Fade, who pulled back, "Sleep, then. Or try to. If you give up, I'll have a cup waiting."

Nodding, Iselin's eyes fluttered as she settled in. "Thank you."

Humming back, Fade stayed there on the bed- staying as long as Iselin could remember before she fell asleep, finding some sense of ease in the comfort of company. ------ translations in order of appearance (i am Not an expert in either of these languages orz): [Nei] (Nor.) - 'no' [Hvorfor gjorde jeg (...) hvorfor advarte de oss ikke?] (Nor.) - basically a stream of conscious thoughts, roughly translating to "Why didn't I do enough... Why am I still thinking about this- why am I not getting better. Why am I stuck- Why didn't I die? Why did they have to die- Why didn't they warn us?" [öcü] (Turk.) - loosely 'Boogeyman' [Ya] (Turk.)/[Ja] (Nor.) - both mean 'yes', though i think its funny they are pronounced the same way- neither would realise they weren't saying the other's language for just a moment. [Herregud] (Nor.) - generally an exclamation- best translated to 'damn it' or 'oh my god' [Tesekkuler] (Turk.) - 'Thank you' [Aldri] (Nor.) - 'No way' [Boş yapmayin] (Turk.) - 'Cut it out' [Kar tanesi] (Turk.) - 'Snowflake', meant more endearingly than as an insult [Sikiş aşkına] (Turk.) - 'For fucks sake' i did Not remember putting this many things in oops.

#valorant #deadlock valorant #fade valorant #nightlock #fadelock #deadfear #did we??? decide??? a name????? #rambles #writing

[notastraykid]

A little angsty fic finished in the same evening. Worried it’s a reflection of my mindset? Meh it's good.

Thoughts of being alone, resentment, isolation. It is resolved at the end. Not proofread and I typed this without my glasses on. It is what it is. Actually what is is, is cheesy.

Bitter Silence

Jeongin had always been the cheerful and happy member of the group, known for his infectious laughter and warm smile. Naturally sweet and kind, all his hyungs simply adored their maknae. He always spurred their physical affection, but he and they all knew that he loved the attention, really. In small amounts. When cornered.

However, over the last few weeks he had begun to experience a growing sense of isolation that he couldn't quite put into words.

The other members were caught up in their own busy schedules outside of rehearsals and dance practices. 3racha had most of their time taken up by writing, producing and planning the future of the group, Seungmin was hitting his vocal classes hard since being asked to perform a handful of songs for a new K-drama, Minho was rehearsing for some special stages alongside his MCing and Felix along with Hyunjin had been flying here and there, being brand ambassadors.

He was proud of his brothers, of course, but sometimes, when lying alone in his room, the thoughts of being alone fell from his brain and landed straight into his heart.

Whist they remained close, as close as they could in these circumstances, there were moments when Jeongin felt like he was fading into the background. In his mind, they were too busy to even remember he was part of the band. His smile became a mask to hide the growing loneliness he felt deep inside whenever he was graced with the presence of another member of the group.

One day, as the group prepared for a performance, Jeongin found himself sitting alone in a quiet corner. He watched his friends laughing and messing around as Minho allowed a 5 minute rest, feeling like he was on the outside looking in. Despite being surrounded by people, he couldn't shake off the feeling of isolation.

He felt an odd, cold sensation in his chest that he was slowly getting used to. Han called over to him to help with pinning down Seungmin after a play fight, but before Jeongin could even react with a shake of his head, Changbin had already stepped in to help.

With a sigh of defeat, Jeongin went back to sitting quietly, doom-scrolling on his phone. Small bouts of anger flickered through body. They were all happy, having fun without him. They didn’t need him. He knew it was a silly thing to feel but he could not shake it. Resentment was setting in. Feelings of bitterness would overtake his sensible side.

As the weeks went by, Jeongin's feelings of loneliness intensified. He started withdrawing from social interactions, spending more time in solitude when their schedules allowed. He was constantly finding himself engulfed in a sea of overwhelming loneliness, a deep, cold ache that seemed to echo through the empty spaces around him. Big IN smiles for the recordings. Big IN poses for instagram. Big IN happiness on Bubble.

Amidst laughter and conversation when the group was together, a subtle ache gnawed at his heart, reminding him that despite the company, he was alone in his thoughts.

As soon as the red recording light stopped or whoever he was talking to turned away, the smile fell as quickly as a lead balloon from a skyscraper.

Temporary distractions in the daytime came back threefold in the dark.

He would lie awake, knowing the dorms were cold and empty. Felix on his way to Milan with Hyunjin, Seungmin already assumed asleep, on vocal rest anyway. Minho was at the dance studio trying to perfect a tricky sectional with dance members of other groups- never usually home before 3am. Calls to Chan ending quickly with a promise of a call back which never happened. If Chan was too busy and distracted, he knew Han and Changbin would also be a dead end.

Often staring at his phone, Jeongin would hope for a message or a call that would bridge the gap he felt. If he did get a message, resentment would settle in again. They feel obliged, Jeongin would think, feeling guilty. Last resort as always. That would then trigger his own guilt. A vicious cycle hard to break.  

it became second nature to put his mask on when needed but masks can slip. Recordings had started for some new demos that 3racha had been locked away working on. He and Changbin were alone in the studio going over one of the more upbeat tracks but Jeongin just couldn’t convey the happy emotion needed.

Gentle ribbing off Changbin didn’t work, the jokes, the guidance, the usual Changbin-style teasing and yelling were also counterproductive. So mentally exhausted and being pressed by his hyung, Jeongin snapped. He threw off his headphones and the floodgates opened. Hot, angry tears fell.

Sitting down with a heavy heart and a shaking voice, Jeongin opened up about his feelings of loneliness and isolation. He felt very childish about how it was being conveyed, but Changbin listened attentively, his eyes reflecting empathy and concern.

Changbin assured Jeongin that he was never alone and isolating himself further would never be the solution, that the bonds they shared were stronger than any distance he might feel. He reminded Jeongin that everyone goes through rough patches, and sometimes, reaching out for support can make all the difference.

The elder encouraged Jeongin to communicate his feelings with the other members. And so, Jeongin gathered the courage to share his struggles during a group meeting which Changbin was able to arrange. To his surprise, the other members opened up about their own moments of loneliness and insecurity.

They realised that in the midst of their busy lives, they had unintentionally created an environment where they were all feeling isolated in different ways. This revelation brought them closer together as they made a pact to prioritise their friendships and make more time for each other.

From that day on, Jeongin's feelings of loneliness began to lift. The group made an effort to spend quality time together, supporting each other through both the highs and lows, knowing each others tell-tale signs and being open and honest. He learned that even in the midst of a bustling life, it's essential to nurture connections and communicate openly to prevent feelings of isolation from taking hold.

His experience taught him that everyone can feel alone at times, even when surrounded by others, but reaching out and sharing those feelings can lead to deeper connections and a renewed sense of belonging. Everyone carries their own struggles, and in opening up, you face these challenges together and that is the key to finding solace and strength.

#stray kids #skz #stray kids angst #skz angst #IN #yang jeongin #Yang jeongin angst #IN Angst #jeongin angst #changbin #bang chan #lee know #hyunjin #felix #seungmin #han #lee minho

[wrrrenff]

Berry Blast

General Mills Cereal Mascots Boo Berry x F! Reader Synopsis: Struggling to fall asleep was common. Tonight though, you had an interesting reason to stay awake. Warnings: 18+, Smut, Fingering, P In V sex, Ghost Sex, Somnophilia, Consensual Somnophilia, Non-Consensual Somnophilia, Sleep Sex, Crack Relationships

Picture credits to the owner!

It felt like an eternity but you finally fell asleep. You’re not really sure what time it was when you, but you guessed it was around 3am. Lately your sleep hasn’t been too great. You try to go to bed at a decent time but for whatever reason, it feels like somethings been keeping you up. You hear strange noises, see things in the corner of your eye. If you didn’t know any better you’d think your house was haunted. As unfortunate as your sleep schedule has been, at least you wake up to the reward of your favorite cereal, Boo Berry.

As your body went deeper and deeper into sleep, you finally felt at peace. There were no dreams tonight. Much like tonight, you never really had dreams, just fade to black and two seconds later it’s time to wake up. Tonight however felt… different. The darkness seemed… longer? Well, what could you do? If this is what it takes to get a good night's rest, then so be it. Here you are, embracing the dark. Nothing to do but wait for morning to roll around.

. . .

Hmm….

. . .

Mmmhff-uuuck

. . .

Odd. You could’ve sworn you felt something brush your clit just then. Not a physical touch, more like a cold pressure. Maybe I’m having some sort of weird sex dream? Yeah, that’s gotta be it. It’s been a while since you’ve had one of those. Might as well give in and enjoy it. Just as you accept your brain's choice of dream, you feel another cold pressure on your clit, this time longer. It almost felt like your clit was being rubbed but again, not physical touch, just pressure. You could feel your body leaning into the made up touch.

Your mind was reeling. You felt so good. Suddenly it felt like something plunged into you. Like phantom fingers. You felt whatever it was curl inside you and thrust in and out, occasionally brushing where you’re most sensitive. You were panting. Pressure was building within you. The thrusting sped up, edging you closer and closer to release. Just as the pressure was about to make you cum, you gasp awake from your slumber and see a white blur hovering over you. Was that…? No, it couldn’t be. The mascot of your favorite cereal was currently fingering you. If you weren’t so deep in the throes of pleasure, you would be terrified right now. You chose to put aside the fact that a fictional supernatural being was making you feel so incredible and let your mind and body succumb to your climax. Boo Berry kept fingering you through your orgasm as you shook violently from the pleasure. He slowed to a stop and you just laid there breathlessly staring, trying to make sense of what in the hell is going on right now.

“Are you re-”

Before you could finish, Boo Berry somehow turned your body and propped you up on your hands and knees. You tried to protest but as soon as you started to speak you felt something large and girthy slide into your cunt. Just like his fingers, it didn’t feel like anything was actually there, but it was the same pressure (and pleasure) a dick would feel like. You couldn’t believe he was able to penetrate you through your pajamas!

Boo Berry didn’t give you much time to think of supernatural logistics and started roughly thrusting in and out of you. Your pussy was still tight from cumming only minutes ago. It just made the feeling that much more intense. You had to brace yourself on your headboard from how much he was rocking your body.

Boo Berry grabbed your hair and lifted you up so your back was against his… chest? It didn’t matter. This position totally changed the angle he was hitting you at. You let out a long string of curses. Boo Berry was only encouraged by this and started pounding into you harder. His other ghostly hand made its way to your breasts, grouping and pinching, making your back arch and causing him to perfectly hit your g-spot.

You load moans only spurred on the fruity spirit and he kept thrusting into that sweet spot. You were getting close. As you started to get lost in the pleasure, you noticed that your furniture started levitating slightly. Was.. Boo Berry close too? Just then, Boo Berry moved his hand from your breast to his clit and started rubbing. Yep, he’s definitely close.

You came. Hard. Harder than you ever have before. The mix of excitement and fear made you lose control. A few more thrusts and Boo Berry was cumming too. Your furniture crashed down from the air. You were then dropped onto your bed, out of breath, eyes closed just trying to wrap your head around tonight's events and ground yourself. That when it hit you. The smell of … blueberry(?) hit your nose. Your eyes cracked open but much to your dismay, the spirit was gone. Just his scent lingered.

Exhaustion hits you hard and you soon feel asleep. That night you dreamt only of spector that visited you and gave you one of the best, most thrilling experiences of your night. You only hoped he’d visit again.

#fanfic #fanfiction #ao3 fanfic #fanfic writing #my fanfic #general mills #cereal #smut #boo berry #boo berry x f! reader #boo berry x reader #somno fantasy #crack fic #idk what i was on when i decided to write this but here we are #im so so so sorry

[tinydragondreamer]

oc ask: all prime numbers. get rekt

from this oc ask game!

Prime numbers........................................ I'll cut you a deal and go prime numbers up to 13 because otherwise I'll be here alllllll day. here we go

Also for this one, since it's a lot of them, I'll limit the ocs to just those that are part of what i consider "Cosmic Actors"/"The Elysian Wands". Just so that it doesn't get too confusing jumping around.

"Which ocs are the most touch-starved?"

....most of them?????????? Jokes aside I think there's Argent and Elysia off the top of my head that I'd consider the "most touch-starved"? The 14 y/o death archangel and the wand that is a melting pot of souls are very lonely and appreciate hugs a lot.

Some more fun facts! These two are also extremely unlikely to actually initiate hugs/cuddles, and have a tendency to use isolation as a 'punishment' for anything they believe they've done wrong! On their real bad days sometimes this includes uh,, existing...........

2. "Which ocs are most likely to be caught eating cheese at 3am?"

To be CAUGHT....hmm... I feel like Yatzy and Zatzy would go on a Great Cheese Heist as one of Yatzy's whims. They'd get caught early on in their execution of their scheme by Pria who's like "are you fucking kidding me. we do not have time for this." and grabs the two star imp kids and drags them back to bed.

3. "Which ocs can, and do, go days without sleeping?"

WELL. Elysia is a magic wand, so she doesn't need to sleep at all. But if she's in a place with a day/night cycle she'll try to sleep just to feel more human-like. Eventually, however, she will forget even how to sleep.

As Archangels Argent and Chrysus also technically don't need to sleep, but sleeping does provide them with Benefits such as helping them restore expended soul energy faster than if they stayed awake all the time.

The angels (Pria, Yatzy, Zatzy, and [REDACTED]) DO need to sleep, but don't need as much sleep as the average human. So going a couple of days without sleep won't fuck them up as much as it would a humanoid.

Alice and Peter on the other hand... are just humans with the very human need to sleep every night in order to function properly.

5. Which ocs sleep with the windows open vs. closed?

Assuming they're in a position to actually be able to care about that:

Argent: Open, he likes the cool night air it soothes him.

Chrysus: Closed, she hates bugs bothering her sleep.

Pria: Closed, she feels more secure that way.

Yatzy: Open, they feel more secure and less suffocated that way.

Zatzy: Closed, but the with the door open so they can see what's going on in the hallway. The open doorway is 100% trapped, enter unannounced at your own risk.

Alice: Closed, she feels it's quieter that way

Peter: Open, he finds nighttime sounds soothing

Elysia: Open, she likes the fresh air. Also it's hard not to feel cramped in rooms when you're 3 meters tall (especially if they're built for humans) so every little thing that can help with that counts.

7. Which ocs would feel super out of place at a formal event? Which ocs are fine with it?

(assuming that physical appearance is not something that would factor into being out of place at said formal event, so that elysia and the star imps aren't immediately out of place Just based on that)

Argent: Super duper out of place. His aura of death making strangers instinctively fear and avoid him would make formal events hard for him to bear.

Chrysus: Super duper out of place. Her aura of life making strangers instinctively drawn towards her would make formal events a pain in the ass for her.

Pria: She'd be fine. Carefully calculating the agendas of every single person who's attending could be considered a hobby of hers.

Yatzy: Super duper out of place. Their coping skill is to goof around and get up to Mischief to keep the trauma at bay, and any place where that's Frowned Upon is not a place they want to be.

Zatzy: Out of place. They just can't be bothered with caring about any kind of etiquette.

Alice: Technically she'd be fine, but she really really would rather Not Attend if she didn't have to.

Peter: He's in his element. He loves playing the game of socialization, he loves being around people, and he loves having attention, so he'd do swimmingly no matter what kind of event it is.

Elysia: She'd feel really out of place due to her self-consciousness and timid nature. She doesn't do well in social situations in general.

11. Which ocs have to be reminded to take breaks?

Argent, Chrysus, Pria, Peter, and Elysia. So most of the crew lol. Argent, Elysia, and Peter are desperate to be helpful, Chrysus, Pria and also Elysia get extremely fixated on their goals, and of these guys only Chrysus and Pria have any semblance of self-preservation.

13. Which ocs make the rules, which ocs follow them, and which ocs break them?

Make the rules: Chrysus and Pria

Follow them: Argent, Peter, and Elysia

Break them: Peter(lol), Yatzy, Zatzy

OKAY!!!!! Sorry it's not all the prime numbers but i'm sure you can find it in your heart to forgive me. Gimme them in separate chunks so I can digest them better and throw in different ocs.

#weeeeeeeeee #cosmic actors #the elysian wands #angels vs the sad hands #technically elysia and the angels' stories intertwine eventually #that's why i threw her in there #also i have a soft spot for her #my ocs

[risingfenyxfire]

personal hc:

raz cannot use cryokinesis.

reasoning:

hydrokinesis isnt a bloodline related power because lizzie can definitely use it by virtue of cryokinesis being a further specialization of hydrokinesis* and helmut can use chronokinesis (its 3am i am Not Awake Enough to put extra energy into research rn. so i very much hope ive got the names/spelling right lol) but has not demonstrated/shown an ability to do cryokinesis, and im counting the hamster ball rolling as hydrokinesis, as hes Definitely not using his brain to move, he would have to be slamming it into the side to counteract the water that would shift the opposite direction. and with the psychic lifting, there is a definite showing that the heavier the object the harder it is to hold up. and im thinking it’s proportional to age and power level. im sorry but the fact, at least in the beginning/when we see him in game, that hes moving independently (pretty sure? will fact check all of this in the morning) mixed with the fact hes been basically dead from lucrecias mental snap to when raz “woke him up”? no way hes got the fine motor skills, or whatever the psychic equivalent is, to safely move himself like that.

*otherwise how would she have discovered her specialty, i very much doubt she went straight to freezing water, just once she found cryokinesis easier than hydrokinesis she stuck with it

so what im getting is a higher than 0% chance that cryokinesis and chronokinesis are so similar in execution (freezing and slowing time enough to basically treat objects as stationary respectively) that you can do one or the other. since raz literally learned he was Not Cursed and actually hydrokinetic after he got helmut, he got the time one. and im guessing the reason chronokinesis is so rare (again pretty sure not positive) is because its way easier to learn freezing water than figuring out how the hell you are supposed to affect literal time and just. break the laws of physics.

also because it would be pretty damn funny if the overpowered small child couldnt do it. fantastic at everything else, but literally impossible to do this one ability that is so incredibly tied to hydrokinesis, his literal family specialty. only if the interns were no longer assholes tho. good natured ribbing only, i am a found family and enemies to friends tropes addict.



#psychonauts #psychonauts 2 #mine own thoughts #just think of the possibilities #cause i am #and its great

[kyexprequel]

KYEX Part 4: Dreaming of People You Don't Know

Series Summary: Luna and her friends grew up inside of an organisation where they had their souls - the very essences of their beings - were fused with the long-dead ghosts of beings only heard of in fairytales. This is their story, for the most part. While Luna and co. are planning a way to escape from the place they've been trapped in their entire lives, undercover Officer Mark Zimmerman, investigating a company with less than pleasant business practices, and as he would soon find out, much more is going on under the surface.

Series TW: Police, Cursing

Chapter-Specific TW: Minor Character is Physically Dead (Still alive, but not in the typical sense)

Chapter Summary: Mark is trying to make sense of the events of the day and what he read in the files, trying to figure out why the children all locked eyes with nothing when he met them. He's currently lying in his bed, sifting through the events that had happened earlier, when he falls asleep.

Word Count: 1300

Accessibility Warning for Vision or Reading Impaired: This part has some text that is not meant to be visually coherent, these bits of text are stylistic choices.

It had been about 7 hours since Mark had finished reading and left the ‘Underground’ rather shaken up. Currently, he was sitting on his couch trying to make sense of what the hell he’d read when he was with the children. He was currently lying in his bed, sifting through the events of the day. The more he thought about, well, everything that had happened in the past few days, the more that he wanted, no, needed answers. 

Answers to what was really going on there, why, when he had met them, had the children all glanced at each other before glancing at the air around them, seemingly like it was normal to lock eyes with nothing? 

He looked at the clock, 11PM, still enough time to get some sleep, but not enough to actually get proper rest for his day to come. “Dammit.” Mark whispered to himself in his empty apartment. Coming to this realisation. Even so, he still shut his eyes and-

— — — — — — —

“Are you sure about this?” A blonde girl asked her mentor.

“Of course, now, stand right,” The mentor nudged the girl slightly into place on the cold steel dias, “Here.”

The girl stayed in that position as her mentor confidently walked back to a desk filled with glowing monitors and keyboards with computers connected to a mess of wires leading to the back where there were more than a few sockets.

After tapping away at the keys on one keyboard for a bit, the mentor looked back at the girl, pale in the blue-tinted light. “Now, raise your dominant arm until it’s fully inside of the ᔑ̷̮̖̜̼̞̻̩̺̼̮̘̟̭̬͈̱̈́̐̈́͒̌̑̂̓ͅℸ̵̱̦͎̥̫̘̬̹̯̘̱̗̜͙̳̩̻̰́̂̏̏̌̀̾͊̾͠͝ ̶̷̶̢̢̱͍̫̩̗̣̻͈̣̹̦̠̺̖̳̖̰͕̯̫̺̬̤̻͙͕̱̩̈́̌̉̄̄͗̂͌̄̀̔̐͗̽̍̉̓̑͗̅͛̏̀̇̓̇̾̐͆̒̕͜͝͝͠ᒷ̵̰͙̼͓̘̗̳͎͙̦̇̂͊̈́̇́́̂̓̀͐̋̽̃̿͜ͅͅ∴̷̢̧̢̫͖̼͕͖̞̐̈́̓̊̈́̀̓̂̂̂̂̚̚̕͘͜͝͝ᔑ̷̧̡̛̪̳͈̳̳̽̿̀̒͊͒̈̃̈́͂̚̚̚ᒷ̸̡̛̬̩͖͔̐͒͛̐̈́̾̋͌̅̈́͒͜͠͠͝╎̷̢̧͕͓̘̳͚̱͖̗͓̣̹̘̻͍̬̃̃̃́̏͑̽̍̕͝ͅͅ|̷̛̦̹̼̻́͋́̆̋̀͑͛̈̔̎́̉̑̅̈́͛̂|̸̧̭̹̠̺̳͔͉͉̱̮̫̇̑͒̒̇͒͆̏͊̾͘|̴̤̫̗̫̇͜|̴̙̟̲͓̲̣̓͆.

The young and oh so naïve girl did just that.

And then, well, nobody knows quite what happened to her after that, but people seem to think she’s completely dead, she’s not.

"𐎨'𐎬 𐎽𐎮𐎱𐎱𐏀."⟟̵̬͍͙̹̫̟͖̺̙̂̀́̊̎̈́̂̆̆̐́̾̃̉̂́̐͜͠'̵̧̭̣̼̭̘̳̫̤͓̖̦͙̈̂̉̽̏̀̚ͅ⋔̴̧̱̫͈͔̭̏ ̴̢̡̭̜̰̫͇̮̩̖̞̟͓͔͎̌̍̈́́̈́̀̈́́͋̀̊̀͛̀́̕͝͝ͅ⌇̵̢̧̼͇̭͕͇̖̓͐̎͆̓̒͑͠⍜̶̢̤̖̜̰̼̖̥̰̮̠͍̅̀͑́̐̊̋̒̚͝͝,̶̡̱̬̣̟̭̩̗̮̖̘̩̐͊̐̈́̍̌͌̑̉̃͝ ̵̢̛̥̦͇̘̩̱̮̱̹̯̠̈́̿̀͂̈́̂̿͑̾̔̕̚̕̚̚͘͜⌇̴̢̣͍̝̦͖̪̒̍͒͆͒̋̀͒͗̚ͅ⍜̷̨̟͇̥̜̱̲͎̬̫͉̭̀̊̀́̒̀̎̆̀̽̔͑̃̐̚͝ ̴̢̗̝̳͙͙̙̯͕̫͋̊͊̅̃͊̓̀̀̚̚͜͝͝͠ͅ⌇̷̭͗͗̋̓͝͠⍜̷̱̿̌͠⍀̸̰̣͓̇⍀̷̱̣̭̞͉̱̔̎͊͒̒̏̔͑̐̌̑⊬̸̯̮̤͇͆͂̾͑̂͊

— — — — — — —

Mark jolted awake in a cold sweat. Shakily putting a hand to his forehead. “What was that?” He whispered into the cool air of his bedroom before turning over to check the time on his phone. 

Initially squinting at the brightness of the screen, his eyes quickly adjusted to reveal that it was a bit past 3AM.

“Huh.” Mark dully remarked at him actually having gotten more hours than he thought, both with the whole nightmare and falling asleep at 11.

With there not being much point in trying to get back to sleep, he just decided to get out of bed.

After getting dressed for the day, he opened his curtains and saw that the sun still wasn’t up. So, turning on the lights in his apartment, he moved towards his computer, booting it up.

It opened onto Photoshop, the app he was using to create a theory-board of sorts. Is it conventional? No. Is it meant to be used this way? Also no. But it’s not like Mark had any other software to use, especially one that was legitimately intended for theories. 

Looking at the canvas showed crudely drawn and labelled images of both people and places, different coloured circles around some of them with notes around the images and lines connecting some.

Mark looked at this, looked at the time, and promptly saved and closed the file. Deeming it too tiring for his already sleep-deprived mind. 

After a while of scrolling through a multitude of social media apps, Mark looked at the clock, 5:30, he stared at the clock for a bit before he shut his eyes, still tired from his little amount of sleep and soon started thinking about his dream from a few hours prior.

And then his head fell forward-

— — — — — — —

“What happened to her?” A boy asked, seeming to be the same age as the one before.

“I-” The Mentor started, choking up, “I don’t know, and I’m sorry.” 

Mark looked on in mild horror, seeing the people talking in front of him. He.. knew these people, somehow.

Mark saw the same process that had taken that poor girl happen many times over, nearly 10, if he saw correctly. But whatever mistakes made all that happen the first time, they weren’t made again.

That was, until he looked at the last 

person to put their hand to the frame. The Mentor.

With the console being manned by someone completely new to Mark, he observed the same, repetitive process happen again. Put the hand to the centre of the frame, lightshow, eyes change colour briefly, go back to life as normal. But that’s not what happened this last time.

“Ready ⊑̷̨̢̢̛̹̹͕͕̭͚̗̊̏̇̿̈͌̌̑̈́̐̄͊̃͘͠⏃̷̪̘̯͙͕͖̉̆̃̌̄̎̄̿́̀̎͋̕̚͘̕⋏̴̺̹͓̥̻̥͒͂͛̈͒͆̕̕̕͝⋏̶̧͚͙̤̭͎̞̫̪͙̮̝̟̰̦̓̓̇̋̀̍́̔̀͑̈́̚̕͝͝͝͠͝⟒̵̢̰̩̣̣̥̣̝̈́̓̀̐̅̅̉͋⏃̴̛̛̻͓͎͚̟͎̪̪͉͗̒͒̕͜☍̶͎̩̝͌̈͝⊑̷̺̦̩̤̭̜͓͕͔̰͔͕̯͊̽̌̉͒͒̒͑ͅ?” 

The light spread to the centre, The Mentor’s hand pulled back.

Oh what a mistake that was.

— — — — — — —

Mark’s head shot up again. ‘Another one?’ He rubbed his head, sore from resting on the edge of the desk for… apparently half an hour. So, now he really had to leave the house. Trying to shake off the lingering fog of sleep from his mind, he grabbed his bag, phone and keys before opening the door to leave his apartment and stepping out.

— — — — — — —

He made it over to Hirocans after about 20 minutes of walking. Stepping through the large doors of the company’s HQ, he was almost immediately greeted by Hannah, her bright green eyes now shadowed and dark. “No time for pleasantries, we need to go down.” She said the second Mark got near her. “Woah, wait what’s going on?” Mark shot back quickly, very confused. “Didn’t you hear me? Are you deaf? There’s no time!” Hannah borderline shouted at him, tugging him along by the sleeve.

Hannah nearly ran towards the door containing the near-maze that held the Gateway, throwing it open and quickly navigating the twisting hallways towards the mysterious metal frame in the cold basement, Mark trailing behind.

This time, there was no waiting around as Hannah immediately rushed over to the mess of monitors and keyboards that controlled the Gateway. Pressing a few buttons in quick succession and the light started to pour out of the edge of the oval-shaped metal far quicker than before.

“You still haven’t explained what we’re doing!” Mark shouted over the loud combined hum of the Gateway and computers. “Just shut up Mark! I’m really starting to think you are just incapable of hearing what the hell I’m trying to say!”

Mark promptly stopped trying to get answers, instead glaring at Hannah.

It didn’t take long for the Gateway to finish preparing, Hannah running in without hesitation. Mark, once again, following behind.

This time, the travel through wasn’t as disorienting as before, which Mark counted as a win. But that didn’t mean he didn’t fail the landing. Crashing into the floor on his front, probably getting at least a few bruises.

When Mark stood up, wincing slightly, the door to the Base was wide open, Hannah having already rushed forwards, presumably to talk to the Children. Then Mark heard what they were talking about, and his blood ran cold.

“I think Mark knows more than we told him.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Her.”

There was no noise from the room for a few seconds, but Mark could’ve sworn he heard gasps from the Children.

“I- I don’t understand. She’s gone.”

“But she still got her Companion before that.”

“Did she?”

“I think she did, at least.”

Mark continued walking forward, creaking a floorboard on his way.

Hannah’s head appeared from behind the door frame, her face darkened with an unreadable emotion.

“Alright, come on, we need to talk.” She said,

Mark started walking on, joining the Children.

Whatever happened to him earlier, in his dreams, he knew that the Children and Hannah had at least some more knowledge than him. 

Mark was abruptly pulled out of his thoughts by Hannah speaking, 

“We need to do this now.”

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Hoo boy did this take a while oof Uhhh if anyone wants to know what those bits of text said, I used 4 different “translators” one was a glitchy one, three were converting English into a series of images (Comander Keen, Alien and Khorsh) from there I’m sure you can figure it out <3

#kyex #KYEX #my writing #tw police #they're good but still #tw swearing #writing #tw minor character death #it's not fully accurate but better safe than sorry

[kikixreverie]

Hi- may I ask for an angst-mix with Bucky x reader: she had her share of abusive/toxic relationships in her past, but it was nothing she spoke of, and not now when she had James. It wasnt like she thought she was gonna be triggered again, not by him, any other guy- buy not her Bucky! Some tiny bickering evolved to a large dispute, and before she knew what was happening, she shied away from him, making herself small, awaiting the blow - that never came... And instead she was overcome by shame...

Pasts and Apologies

Bucky x Fem!reader

Word count - 3k

Warnings - Mentions of domestic abuse from ex, some descriptions of abuse, angst, trauma

A/n - Okay I definitely went hard on the angst for this one. I kinda just went off on one so not so much bickering and more just a full blown argument but I've been feeling kinda angsty lately so I kinda accidentally made this darker than I expected. Please read the warnings and do not read if you think this could trigger you.

------------------------------------------------

Love had not been kind to you before Bucky. Every decent memory of your ex was clouded with uncertainty, you would walk on eggshells around him, terrified that saying the wrong thing would set him off and you'd be calling Sam again, sobbing down the phone, cradling another bruise at the hands of your 'partner'.

You were together for years, devoted to and unconditionally in love with the man that you had met in high school. Childhood sweethearts.

He always was quick to anger and he wasn't shy about that. He never had any issues with shouting at you when you pissed him off, just as he never had issues with shouting at his mother or younger brother, but at the time, you had always stood up for yourself and defended the poor woman, making him apologise, and he let you, he always let you clean up his messes.

The first few years were spent in ignorant bliss, you constantly ignored the fear that would creep up your spine when he got angry, but you could manage a screaming match or two, you could manage it all because you loved him, you depended on him despite that he wasn't at all dependable.

The arguments were tough, but you never expected it to go further than that, but eventually, it did.

The first time he was physically aggressive was on his 22nd birthday. He had insisted that he spend his birthday with his friends, calling it a guys night, and you were fine with that, you knew how handsy he got when he was with his friends anyway, so you spent the day with him instead, making sure to keep him happy and spoilt rotten.

As the night crept on, you had tried to wait up for him to return, just as he had asked, but as it passed 3am you decided that he wouldn't mind you going to bed since you had work the next day, so you crawled into bed and fell asleep, a mistake, at the time, you didn't know you had made.

When he returned half an hour later to see you unconscious, he woke you up with his shouting, angry that you hadn't stayed up for him, convinced that you were ruining his night on purpose. The loud awakening was enough alone to trigger your fight or flight but when he threw the duvet off you and grabbed your ankle so tightly you knew a bruise would form, you were terrified. He dragged you off the bed and pushed you towards the door, telling you to fuck off, and you did, tears streaming down your face as you laid awake on the couch till morning.

It only got worse from there, when he realised that he could hurt you and get away with it, it became his favourite past time, he'd look for reasons to shout at you, make you do things that would piss him off just so he'd have a reason to be cruel.

When Sam started noticing dark bruises on your skin, he was livid, and despite how often you'd try to convince him that it's just clumsiness, Sam knew better.

There were rare days that you would have long conversations with Sam, you'd talk about how you'd lost all your friends and distanced yourself from your family but you didn't blame your abuser, you blamed only yourself, and Sam would beg you to leave him but you'd be sobbing in his arms, telling him that you still loved the man who hurt you, that he didn't really mean to hurt you and you'd feel even more guilt if you ever got him in trouble for it.

It was a long and hard journey, but the moment you told Sam that you wanted out, he was there for you, offering you to stay at his place and helping you call the cops. He gave you all the resources he could possibly find through the VA and set you up with an amazing therapist and eventually you were living in your own place, talking to old friends again, and filing a restraining order against your ex.

It was nearly two years later when you met him. Introduced through Sam, you met the love of your life on a Sunday. He was quiet and focused, with hard eyes scanning the room, looking for escape routes, analysing people's faces.

You smiled gently at him when you met, opting for a small nod in greeting instead of a handshake. You stayed near him for the remainder of the gathering, not pressuring him to speak to you, just sitting in silence. You were drawn to him, his behaviour was so similar to yours.

You knew what it felt like to want to just blend into the corner, to stay unnoticed, you understood the need to know how to escape a room, and you saw the way he hesitantly returned your smile and then struggled to chase his smile away once you had sat down beside him.

You and Bucky soon became each other's rocks, always there for the other on the hard days, days that you would spend just walking or reading together in calm silence. There was no doubt that the two of you loved each other, and after months and months of trying to hide longing glances and blushing cheeks, you finally confessed to each other, and the rest was history. You trusted him like you had never trusted anyone before.

As your relationship progressed, Bucky started to notice some strange things in your behaviour, how you'd always ask his permission for you to go out with friends, how you were always quick to apologise in any situation and distanced yourself from him when he was the slightest bit irritated.

He had tried to ask you about it, but you always changed the subject as soon as it was mentioned, ensuring him that it was nothing to worry about.

To tell the truth, you were embarrassed, you were ashamed that your ex still had this effect on you, and no matter how many times you told yourself that he would never, that your Bucky would never, your brain refused to allow you to believe it and you continued with the odd behaviour that you used as a defence mechanism when in the abusive relationship.

You never spoke out of line, you never asked him where or who he was going out with, and you never let small bickering escalate.

It was only after you had overheard Sam and Bucky in a heated conversation, Sam scolding Buck for being reckless and stupid during a mission, that you had your first argument with him.

You had called Sam while Bucky was at the store, convincing him to tell you what had happened and after a few minutes of guilt-tripping, Sam finally confessed that Bucky had practically ran into open fire, endangering himself in an attempt to shut down a Hydra base, it could've very easily been fatal, and it wasn't the first time something like this had happened.

You knew it was wrong, you knew you should've just asked Bucky about it, but you couldn't help yourself, and you knew that Bucky would've downplayed the whole situation.

When he returned home you were pacing up and down in the living room, chewing the inside of your cheeks and your nails to pieces because you could've lost him, Bucky could've died and he was acting as if it were nothing.

"Doll?" You could hear the worry in his voice as he placed the shopping bags on the kitchen counter and walked over to you, standing in front of you to stop your movement, pulling your hand from your mouth and kissing your knuckles.

It was supposed to calm you, and it almost did, but as his soft lips grazed your hand, and his eyes met yours, your mind kept wandering to the fact that he could've died.

This moment could've never happened, instead, you'd have Sam or Steve at your door, trying to deliver the news of their best friend's death, your lover.

"Honey speak to me" He looked utterly confused, but the look only made you feel angry.

How could he be so reckless?

"I just got off the phone with Sam."

He froze, eyebrows furrowing and taking a step away from you, waiting for you to explain.

Your gaze didn't move from the floor, trying to even out the anger and worry rushing through you, settling like a heavy rock in your stomach.

"He told me about the missions, about how you've been acting."

"What do you mean, how I've been acting?" He scoffed, sounding offended, and you sighed.

"How reckless you've been acting. Sam said that Tony's considering pulling you out of missions! How many times have you endangered yourself like this? How many times is it gonna take for you to realise that you could fucking die out there, James."

Your voice was stern, and the tone felt foreign against your tongue. Bucky's kept his face hard, refusing to show any emotion, but you could see the way his jaw clenched harshly, eyes glued to the corner of the room, ignoring your fiery glare.

"Were you ever going to tell me? I thought that all the injuries you got were fairly normal for the jobs you do, but when I hear that you run into open fire, that you make decisions on your own before talking to your team, that you've gotten fucking stabbed in the past, and you never told me, how do you expect me to react?"

He sighed heavily through his nose, jaw ticking in annoyance towards his friend, angry that he had told you even though it wasn't his place.

"I told him not to tell you." His voice was gruff, the words spoken harshly under his breath and you felt your anger flair again.

"What and you think that's okay?!"

His gaze shot to yours, looking at you incredulously.

"Bucky we're partners! You're supposed to tell me this shit, you're supposed to tell me when you've nearly died on a mission, you're supposed to trust me."

"You think I don't trust you?!" His voice was slightly raised and you felt your annoyance spike, "I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to worry."

"Of course I'm gonna worry, James. This is a big deal, I can't believe you've been getting seriously injured and not telling me."

"Well, I don't think it's that big of a deal, Sam shouldn't have fucking told you. This wouldn't be happening if he had just kept his mouth shut, but no! Of course not!" Bucky's eyebrows were drawn in tight with annoyance, wishing you'd just drop the subject, "I'm not stupid, I know what I'm doing."

"What the hell do you mean 'You know what you're doing?' You know that you're not supposed to endanger yourself to complete a mission, yet you do it anyway. I'm glad Sam told me because otherwise, I doubt I'd ever find out!."

"I don't see how what I do on missions is anything to do with you. Sam is exaggerating. I'm fine!"

As Bucky's voice raised, you started to lose focus, flashbacks of your past echoing in your mind and in his annoyance, Bucky didn't notice the way your eyes had gone distant, losing sight of the man in front of you, the man you loved, and forming the image of the man you still see in nightmares, the man you're so terrified of seeing in the street that you haven't stepped foot in Queens since leaving him.

You could almost feel the sting of his palm against your cheek, the burn of his hand, tight around your wrist, and you tried to remind yourself that it wasn't real. It had been months since you'd had an episode, and your steps to control them were hard to find with the false image of your abuser so clear in front of you.

"Are you even listening to me?" The statement dragged you back to reality and you felt yourself calm when your eyes focused in on Bucky, reminding yourself that your ex wasn't here, that Bucky wasn't like that, he would never, but as he raised his arm to push his hair out of his face, everything flew out the window and in the moment, you were 21 again and you were sure he was going to hit you, your exes face flashing behind your eyes again.

You flinched, a gasp falling from your lips as your eyes squeezed shut and your head ducked down, breathing heavily through your nose as you awaited the hit.

Time slowed.

Bucky froze completely, his eyes wide and frantic as he quickly stumbled away from you, shaking his head as self-hatred ran through his veins, disgusted at himself for making you think even in the slightest, that he would ever hurt you.

"Doll?" He sounded absolutely broken.

Your head shot up, panic flooding through you when you realised what you had done and pain replacing the feeling when you saw the agony on Bucky's face.

"Y/n, I- I would never-" He kept his voice at a pained whisper, not wanting to scare you further as he stayed at a distance.

You collapsed to the floor, sitting on your knees as the weight of the situation pulled you down. Your hands raised to cover your mouth as a sob threatened to tear through you, so fucking ashamed of what had just happened, so fucking ashamed that your ex had done this to you, and you had let him for so long, ashamed that he still haunted you.

"Babydoll I-" He struggled to find the words, terrified that he had just lost you, wanting to reach out and hold you but scared shitless of hurting you more than he already had, "I don't know what- I'm so fucking sorry y/n, I can't- I can't even fathom the thought of-"

His voice trailed off, unable to even say the words and you felt your guilt tenfold.

"N-No Bucky, I'm sorry I thought-" You struggled to speak through your crying, hot tears flowing down your cheeks as you rocked yourself gently in an attempt to self-soothe.

"Why are you apologising honey? This is on me, this is-"

"No, it isn't, I promise Buck this isn't you, it's.." You couldn't get the words out, you couldn't tell him, "Just come here, please."

You wanted him to wrap his arms around you, you needed him to know that it wasn't him, you know the way his mind works and you knew that by now he would already be drowning in guilt and self-hatred.

"I don't think that I should. I don't want to hurt you, I can't- I can't hurt you" You smiled at him gently through your tears and your chin wobbled as you saw the tears running down his cheeks too.

"It's okay. I'm okay Bucky, I just- I-I need you over here, I need you - I need you to touch me. I need you."

He was over in an instant, falling to the floor beside you and letting out a huge sigh of relief when you instantly wrapped yourself around him, tucking your head into the crook of his neck and crawling into his lap, needing to be as close to him as possible, to rid the memories of the pain, to remind yourself that his touch is good, his touch is safe.

Arms enveloped you and he held you as tight as possible, the both of you crying.

After the two of you had calmed down and a comfortable silence enveloped you, Bucky knew he would have to break it.

"Why did you think that I would hit you?" He asked, his voice tentative and gentle and you sighed, knowing that it was time for you to tell him.

"I didn't, I don't, I promise."

You lifted your head from his shoulder but still stayed on his lap, instead, resting your forehead against his.

"Then why-?"

"I thought I was better, I-I thought it was all over but I just- I lost myself again. Everything got all foggy and I lost where I was and I just, I thought I was there but-" The floodgates opened again and you knew that Bucky had no clue what you were talking about but the words just kept coming.

Bucky's eyebrows were furrowed tightly and when your vague, confusing explanation only made his worry grow, he felt himself pulling you even tighter against him.

"Doll, Did someone hurt you? Is that why you're always walking on eggshells around me? Is that what the nightmares are about?" He struggled against the words, not wanting to say them because he didn't want to believe them and he watched in agony as you swallowed hard and nodded slowly, your hands coming to rest on the back of his neck as you continued to hold your forehead against his.

He refused to let his anger show, he wouldn't do that to you, especially with you so fragile, but he couldn't hide the pained shaky breath he let out at your confession, "Fuck, I'm so sorry. God, I'm so sorry that that happened to you. Was it your ex? Did he hurt you?"

You nodded again, doing your breathing exercises, and calming yourself so that you could explain your situation fully to your partner.

"I should've told you, I know, I just, I'm so angry that I'm still like this, I just wish it would all go away and I could forget about what he did. I thought I was better. I can't stand that I'm still so haunted by that asshole" Bucky nodded along as you spoke, brushing his fingers up and down your back to help calm you.

"It's okay, Doll. Things like that don't just go away. Believe me, I wish they did too, but things will get better, I promise you that. Thank you for telling me."

You scoffed in self-deprecation, "I should've told you ages ago."

"That doesn't matter, you've told me now, and I'm sure it wasn't easy, so thank you for sharing" His voice was so gentle, his hands caressing your back almost making you feel sleepy.

"And Buck?" He hummed in response, letting you know that he was listening, "About the mission thing, I'm just worried about you. I can't lose you, I need you, and I need you alive."

A gentle smile lifted his frown and he nodded in understanding, feeling bad for getting mad in the first place, and you leaned back, looking down at him, your hands playing with his hair.

"I know. I'm sorry for being an idiot, It's just so hard to look at them and remember what they did to me and know what they've done to so many innocent people and I just lose it, all rationality out the window" You nodded at him, understanding how painful some of the missions must be.

"I'm sorry I got so upset with you, and I'm sorry I went to Sam instead of talking to you. Don't be mad at him, I kinda forced him to tell me" You gave him a sheepish look and he breathed out a small laugh, his nose crinkling like you always loved.

"It's okay doll, I'm sorry for being so careless and hiding the stuff about the missions, I promise I'll be more careful, I gotta make sure I always come home to my sweet girl. And don't worry about Sam, you deserved to know and I know what you're like."

You tutted at him and he smiled in response, the adorable, loving look on his face making you pull him into the sweetest, softest kiss which he instantly returned.

After sitting together in each others embrace for a while, the yawns eventually started. You were both positively exhausted from all the emotions you had both just experienced so Bucky wrapped your legs around his waist and lifted you both from the floor, discarding the groceries still left in bags in the kitchen and carrying you to bed, holding you as close as physically possible as you both drifted off to sleep.

#bucky oneshot #bucky barnes x you #bucky x you #bucky fluff #bucky x reader #bucky barnes oneshot #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky x y/n #james buchanan barnes #bucky requests

[barnesmurdock]

Art conservation: a remedy for insomnia, or the cause of it.

Pair: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky can't sleep and you're binge watching Baumgartner Restoration videos on yt.

Word count: 1180

Warnings: none, I think, this is just a fluffy bit.

A/N: this is the first thing I'm posting and English is not my first language so sorry if it sucks <3 in this, instead of infinity war happening, Tony forgives Bucky after spending some time in Wakanda and no one has been on the run.

There's no physical description of the reader or any allusion to gender except for Bucky calling them "doll" once.

Also this is just a super self indulgent drabble I had on my head bc I have been binge-watching Baumgartner Restoration videos. They're very relaxing. 10/10 would recommend.

Please consider reblogging if you enjoyed it <3

Masterlist

It was useless trying to sleep. He just couldn't do it. When he did, his nightmares always woke him up, the dread of reliving another one of his memories making it impossible for him to go back to sleep.

Most nights he ended up trying to tire himself on the gym or in the woods that surrounded the compound. But tonight, he was so tired already and still, he couldn't sleep. 

The compound was usually dead silent this late at night but the sound of the tv in the common living area disrupted the silence he was so used to. It wasn't loud, a man's voice filled the room so softly as the screen showed some hands cleaning an old painting. 

On one side of the main couch he could distinguish the back of your head. 

His lips automatically formed a smile at the sight of you, that was your usual effect on him. But then, the smile dropped and his eyebrows furrowed in concern. It was strange for you to be awake at this time of night. With your powers draining your energy at a fast pace, you were usually ready to drop dead whenever, wherever. 

"Hey, what are you doing up?" Bucky softly asked, trying not to startle you as he approached the couch, sitting close to you.

"Huh? Whaddya mean? It's like 10pm." You peeled your eyes from the screen for the first time since you had sat there after dinner around 8:30 to check your phone before looking at him. "3am… Oops." 

Bucky couldn't help but laugh at the face you made after your realization, making you smile at the sight. He looked exhausted and his hair was a mess, but watching him laugh was one of your favorite things. 

"Can't sleep? You look like hell." You asked, your hand reaching to gently brush some hair out of his face, tucking it being his ear. 

"Hot and full of sin?" He joked, leaning into your lingering touch where the pad of your thumb stroked the shell of his ear lovingly, the rest of your fingers gently scratching behind it.

His comment made your eyes roll, amused by his comment. He didn't want to talk about it, noted. At least he was okay enough to be joking.

"Wanna stay with me for a while?" You smiled at him, your hand now leaving his skin to grab the remote from your side.

"What are we watching?" Bucky directed his curious gaze to the screen, watching the video get restarted as he got comfortable beside you. 

"Uh… painting conservation. I discovered this channel last night and apparently I can't stop watching." You explained as you lifted your legs to rest them on his lap, his hands following to rest on top. 

"You spend too much time with Steve, doll." He concluded before paying attention to the man on the screen talking about why staples are bad for the canvas.

You smiled at his comment but didn't respond, your attention going back to the video and relaxing with the delicate brush of his fingers on your bare legs. 

You both fell silent after that, just enjoying each other's company. You didn't even register when his hands had stopped his ministrations but you did notice when his head fell to rest on your shoulder. He had fallen asleep about 15 minutes into the video.

A smile inevitably appeared on your face at the sight. You had never seen Bucky sleep since Steve brought him back from Wakanda, so it looked like you weren't moving from there tonight. 

Afraid to disrupt his sleep, you made yourself comfortable and carefully moved your arm to let his head fall to the side of your chest and drape it on his shoulders.

You felt Bucky stir in your arms and you unconsciously held your breath, thinking he was about to wake up. But he didn't. His free arm wrapped around your waist, holding you tight. Still asleep. You let out the air you had locked in your lungs and allowed yourself to relax again. 

With Bucky adorably sleeping on top of you, you couldn't focus on the guy on the tv screen you had been carefully listening to for the past few hours. The lack of concentration and the weight and warmth of Bucky's thick and muscled body ended up lulling you to sleep too.

You were alone when you woke up, a blanket carefully draped on your body. Rubbing off the sleep from your eyes, you looked down to find a patch of already drying drool on your chest that had been previously covered by the blanket. 

The thought of Bucky waking up and being mortified of having drooled on you made you chuckle.

You looked at your surroundings as you got up when you saw the still steaming cup of coffee on the table with a note next to it. No sign of Bucky or anyone else.

Thanks for the best sleep I had in months, sorry for crushing you for hours. And for the drool. 

                                                       -B

You had slept through all of it, but Steve and Sam had found you both tangled with each other after their morning run and Bucky had woken up by the sound of a photo being taken. 

He would've strangled Sam, but when he looked at your sleeping figure, he only managed to untangle from your warm body while he whispered all types of curses and scowled at his friend.

Bucky kept cursing as he filled his cup of coffee while both Steve and Sam find amusement in his behavior and how red he was from blushing. While drinking his cup, he started to prepare one for you, just the way you liked it. It was the least he could do.

"Delete the photo, birdbrain or I swear I'll-"

When he turned around, Steve was already pushing Sam out of the kitchen, who was ready to further tease Bucky if it wasn't for their blond friend.

"He will delete it. Don't worry about it." Steve reassured him. "Training's in 20, by the way." He let him know with a wink before disappearing from his sight. Steve was one of the few people who didn't tease him about his evident crush and he couldn't be more greatful for it.

Bucky nodded and hurried to get a post it from the fridge door to leave you a message with your coffee and make sure you were tucked in before leaving for training.

On his way to the gym, his phone pinged.

Sam: make a move already, you two look cute. (I'll delete it, but I thought you'd like to have it ;) )

Bucky stared at the picture on his phone for way too long until Steve's Captain America™ voice coming out of the training area snapped him out of it. 

He wished you'd invite him to watch those videos again. Or anything, really. He just hoped to end up waking up in your arms again.

God, he hated to admit that Sam Wilson was right about something, but he was. He had to make a move already.

#Bucky Barnes #Bucky Barnes x reader #Bucky Barnes x y/n #Bucky x reader #Bucky x y/n #fluff #bucky fluff #bucky barnes fluff #beefy!bucky x reader #beefy!bucky x you #beefy!bucky x y/n #Juno's fics

[spencersmagic]

a knife twists at the thought - SR

Prompt: a knife twists at the thought that i should fall short of the mark - Arctic Monkeys

Summary: Spencer is new to this, and the poor boy is terrified

Couple: Fem! Reader x Spencer Reid (i picture season 2/3 Spencer but y’all do you)

Category: angst

Word count: 3086 words

Warnings: general criminal minds stuff, mentions and descriptions of torture, descriptions of loss, HAPPY ENDING!!, my 3am writing, tooth rotting love, uhmm spoilers for Orwell’s 1984 (if anybody hasn’t read it), humiliation, Spencer crying and breaking my heart (lmk if you need anything warned or trigger tagged).

A/N This is very loosely based on 2x15 (VERY LOOSELY). I’m quite proud of this one :)

masterlist // 505 series taglist

*****

They say you never see it coming.

When a tragedy occurs, and someone’s life is turned upside down forever, they never see it coming. It just... hits them. Like an oncoming car ramming into a bystander who was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

No one has time to prepare. In our time-starved lives, there is no place for such a warning.

One day, you just wake up. And they’re not next to you. They’ve disappeared, leaving the stickiest, most unforgettable parts of themselves behind for others to grieve to: the smell of their shampoo in the pillows they used to share, the seconds just as you wake when you still feel like you have them - only to gain full consciousness and realise they left you behind - even the fucking jars, which never seem to be open because he’s just not there to do it.

And you feel your heart breaking all over again as your soul sticks to the parts that couldn’t be erased with the rest of him as he left. Because you needed him, you had him, and now he’s gone. No warning, no letter, no signs which could’ve helped you foresee such a tragedy, because how could he? He didn’t disappear on purpose.

She doesn’t understand why he's so absent. So unequivocally missing. And the person she would turn to to ask these riddled questions isn’t there to answer. Because he’s gone.

But they’re not there yet.

And she feels so close to that feeling - the helplessness, the pain, the empty cups next to her bed because he always carried them to the sink when she was finished with her tea the mornings of those rare days they got to sleep in. Those days when they had time. She can practically touch, with the tip of her fingertips, the waves of pain that would surge over her if he was gone for one more fucking minute.

She has to remind herself, over and over again, like a mantra. He’s not gone yet.

The “yet” at the end of her mantra just breaks her all over again.

She was always the one to tell Spencer “if you worry before something happens, in case it goes wrong, and then it does, you’ve managed to suffer twice through something painful for absolutely no reason”. It usually worked. Needless to say, she felt like a hypocrite right about now.

Because Spencer is gone. And she doesn’t know how to bring him back.

She knows only to watch the monitor, never once blinking, taking in everything that happened in that damned livestream - every word, every sound, every reference. She can only try to hear anything over the whimpers and sobs her love was letting out as he’s tortured by that man. She can only hear the cracks of his knuckles against Spencers soft skin, the same soft skin she had kissed mere hours ago before telling him to “be careful”. Her own way of saying the three little words the couple was too young to hear. She can only see his lips parting, sobs rumbling out of his body as the unsub abuses his frame over and over again - same lips which had kissed her forehead before telling her “i always am”.

Then again, she isn’t sure if its his voice which is filling her head with painful sounds or if her mind is playing tricks on her, memorising the horrifying vibrations coming from his chest for her to ever consider anything else. She hasn’t stopped hearing him since she turned on that damned computer.

She isn’t sure she’ll ever stop hearing it.

**

As a man of great intellect, Spencer always recurred to knowledge to understand difficult occurrences in his life. Burying himself in textbooks, novels, poems, and even music to understand pain, and himself having a life filled with it, he was an incredibly knowledgeable man.

He knew much. But right now, he only knew one thing.

In Orwells’ 1984, as Winston was being tortured (much like Spencer is right now), Orwell described the following:

“Never, for any reason on earth, could you wish for an increase of pain. Of pain you could only wish one thing: that it should stop. Nothing in the world was so bad as physical pain. In the face of pain there are no heroes, no heroes”.

And, as a man who had acquired most of his intellect by immersing himself in trivial content in the face of pain, he found himself doing the same thing as the unsub hurt him over and over again, each blow seemingly more painful than the last. As his skin bruised, a causality of his abusers torment, he analysed the seemingly logical quote.

It must depend on the person, he was sure. In fact, a number of factors must be taken into consideration at this statement. For starters, Winston lives in a society incapable of any human feelings. There is only dominance, and those who attempt, in vain, to challenge it. Surely, if he had felt happiness, like the one you feel when the first day of spring rolls around, or like the one that creeps up on you as you look into the eyes of your loved one, surely, he would understand that some things can outweigh pain.

Love.

If Spencer’s mind could make sense of what he was feeling right now, he would understand, something he would figure of were he to leave this damned place, that he was thankful to the Gods, were there any, for having the unsub kidnap him and not Y/N.

Winston hadn’t understood emotional pain because emotions weren’t dealt with regularly. They were discouraged. That’s why he believed that there are no heroes in the face of pain. Because he doesn’t understand emotional pain.

He knew he was suffering. He also knew that Y/N was at the other side of the blinking camera suffering more than he could ever imagine.

**

They say emotional pain lasts 12 minutes. Anything one feels after this would be the aftermath of the cause of the pain in question. Pure emotional pain, the one you practically feel in your chest, the one that says “i can’t think, feel or be. not until this feeling dissipates”.

She had learned this from Spencer.

And she wished it were true. As she watched that damned monitor, she wished that all the venom the unsub was spewing at Spencer, all the verbal abuse, was long forgotten. She wished he could only feel the physical pain. Because the mind is incredibly stronger than the body - it could keep him awake, alive, for just enough time for the team to rescue him.

The entire team had huddled around the monitor around her. She was painfully aware that other people were seeing this. Which meant it wasn’t her imagination. It wasn’t another one of those damned dreams she would have when she slept a little too far away from Spencer’s touch.

They had only been together for two months, but his touch was all that could get her to fall asleep.

She jolted as the unsub landed another slap on Spencer’s cheek, swiftly grabbing his hair for him to look into the camera. He had a cut above his right cheek, just where she would kiss him in the mornings, and bruises all over his neck, jaw and left eye.

“Say hi to your team!” he mocked Spencer, chuckling darkly as he moved his almost lifeless body around for the team to watch in horror. Spencer let out a heartbreaking sob, feeling so vulnerable.

“Why don’t we make this interesting?” he jumped, as if he had gotten an idea. The unsub reached behind himself to grab a pistol, clicking off the magazine safety to put one bullet in one of the eight slots, leaving the other seven free. He pointed it at Spencer’s temple.

Her entire body shook the thought of seeing Spencer’s lifeless body, held up only by the ropes and that sick man’s grip around his curls. The same curls she grabbed as she kissed his face when she wanted his attention.

“I’m going to ask you some questions...” he said, voice dripping with sickening sweetness as he turned the roulette, “and if i don’t like your answer i’ll pull the trigger! Let God decide what I do with you. Sounds good?”. He wanted to humiliate Spencer.

However, Spencer made the mistake of not answering him. He was quickly reminded as the barrel of the gun pointed right between his eyes, pulling the trigger, a loud bang! sound expanding through the barn.

“I asked you a question!” he suddenly yelled into Spencer’s face.

“Y-yes, Sir” he whimpered, shaking at the ease at which the man pulled the trigger.

“Good, you’re learning”.

**

She experienced it by bits. Hotch’s hoarse voice. “Talk to me Garcia”. “We’ve got coordinates”. Everybody rushing to the SUVs. Tripping over her own feet on the way to the car. Morgan’s voice. The iPad, which still carried Spencer’s whimpers and the man mocking tone.

“I’ve got your diary, Spence” his sing-song voice didn’t match the disgusting man she was looking at. Nothing made sense.

“And I wanna know why...” he drew out the ‘y’ as he looked for something between the worn pages between his hands.

Of course she knew Spencer owned a diary. But she was mature enough to keep her hands to herself and her eyes on her own pages as he wrote on his, eyebrows creasing as he recalled all which he had experienced during the day. His face would twitch slightly at the memories, both good and bad, as he basically described his day word by word.

“...why did you wait until you were 24 to lose your virginity?” he asked in a clear attempt to humiliate and ridicule Spencer in front of his team.

“I-I didn't-” he could barely finish a word before a sob wrecking through his body at the humiliation, chest rumbling and voice wavering. “I didn’t want to lose it before, i w-wasn’t in a hurry” he rushed out. The man brought the pistol to his own chin, tapping it as he thought. “Hmm... I’m satisfied with your answer. Let’s dig deeper, shall we?” he asked as he went back into the pages.

“ooh! This one is new” that sick bastard was having fun with this, completely unaware that the team was less than 5 minutes away from their location.

“Care to read what you wrote three days ago? Right here” he turned the pages so Spencer could read them, though he was painfully aware of that entry he was talking about. His body shook violently. “P-please. D-don’t ma-make me do t-this” he whimpered, body feeling defeated.

“Wrong answer” the unsub said before pointing a gun at him and pulling the trigger.

A shriek was heard from the iPad. The SUV went silent.

“He’s alive” she whispered, unable to speak up. “He-” she swallowed. “He’s alive. We’re not there, yet” her mantra became a reminder that she hadn’t been quick enough to help him. She had the tools to save him. Every second she had the knowledge to save him and didn’t was another second she remained impotent at the risk of losing the love of her life.

Spencer’s voice spoke from the iPad.

“C-can you at-at leas-st turn off t-the ca-amera?” he said between sobs.

And it hit her.

What hurt him the most wasn’t the memories he had to relieve, but the fact that the rest of the team would have to hear his most intimate thoughts. His deepest secrets.

He could bare the pain. The humiliation? That broke him.

“Aww” the unsub chuckled mockingly, “are you embarrassed?” he said, slouching down to look into his eyes. “Well too fucking bad!” he screamed into his face, spitting with every word he spewed at him. Spencer’s sobs got louder.

“O-okay okay!” Spencer caved, accepting the journal that got shoved into his face.

“Read, pretty boy” the unsub sang. That son of a bitch was having fun.

“We’re two minutes away, Y/N” Hotch said. Maybe it was he sobs, which were barely audible to herself, having accepted them as second nature after all the heartbreak she was experiencing, but Hotch needed her to be okay.

His own heart thumped into his chest, feeling as helpless as he’d ever felt. Seeing a member of his team - someone he was supposed to take care of, someone he was supposed to keep safe - was sobbing as he was physically and emotionally tortured. But he was painfully aware of the feelings Y/N was experiencing. The sheer fear that was running down her veins at the idea of them running out of time.

After a few sobs, Spencer started reading, interrupting himself occasionally with his whimpers:

“It’s been three months. Today, three months, seven hours and forty-six minutes ago, she did what I didn’t have the courage to do. She asked me out. “I’ve been wanting to ask you pretty much since the day i met you” she had said. Those words keep ringing in my head like a beautifully written symphony, intrinsically designed to make me face my deepest fears. Opening my scars one by one, dissecting them and reaching the simple conclusion that i was a coward.

She didn’t say it, but what she meant was “i’ve been waiting for you to do it, but you never did, so i had to”. We wasted time - a time so precious and sacred - because i was a coward.

I’ve never felt like this before. I never understood a love so deep as to move something so stubborn as the human spirit. I’ve read textbook after textbook, and novel after novel, and still I’ve never learned more than with her. But I was a coward. And i wasted her time. I fear that I still am.

A knife twists at the thought that i should fall short of the mark. It’s impossible for me to ever be enough for her”.

Her heart broke at this confession. Even worse at the thought that he wouldn’t’ve told her, instead inhaling fear and exhaling rejection at every breath he took next to her.

“We’re here” she heard Hotch, looking at her. She grabbed a bottle of water and dropped the iPad, not hearing the teams objections at the lack of vest and preparation and ran into the barn.

She isn’t sure if she’ll ever stop hearing his whimpers. As she runs closer, she hears them louder and louder, decorated with sobs and cries, and small, meaningless replies to his abusers’ mocking words.

She kicked the door down, the loud bang booming across the room, only helping in raising Spencer’s sobs as he feared the sound had been the result of a certain trigger being pulled. As she looks at him, she realises just how much pain he’s been put through.

She remembers Orwells words, much like how Spencer had remembered them mere hours ago. And disagrees, wishing over and over, praying to the Gods that she would be the victim of such atrocious abuse. She wished she could take his pain. Morgan joined her at her side mere seconds later, yelling. “FBI! Put the gun down!”.

Spencer used the last bit of energy to lunge forward, hitting the unsubs stomach with his head, successfully getting him on the floor for Morgan to apprehend. Y/N rushed to Spencer’s side, untying him, as his now nonexistent sobs grew louder and louder, not only at the prospect of getting out of that horrible place alive, but also at the knowledge that Y/N had heard what he had so dreadfully recited.

Spencer collapsed into her arms, crying into her in the same way she was crying into him, and she wondered just how to take away all his pain. So they cried into each other, desperately grasping each others hair, skin, clothes, anything that would make them feel like they wouldn’t have to spend another damned second without the company of each other.

Spencer was the first to break the silence.

“I need-” he stopped, coughing. She reached for the bottle of water she had brought with her because she knew he would need it. She always knew what he needed.

He chugged it desperately, stray drops falling down his chin at his eagerness. He took a deep breath trying to steady his lungs.

“I need to get out of here” he choked out.

She grabbed him under the shoulders, careful not to hurt him - not being successful, realising that there wasn’t much of him the man hadn’t hurt. Y/N pulled him out, sitting down on the grass with him. Their legs intertwined, pulling each other impossibly closer. They kissed, over and over again. Not as an act of any sexual relevance, but as a reminder that they had each other in any way, shape or form. That they weren’t out of time.

The team was certain they would stay there, never letting each other go for another minute.

After what felt like seconds in their time-starved little world, she broke the silence, which had only been filled with their own cries and occasional sobs.

“Spence” she grabbed his chin to look into his eyes. They were dull, red and hooded. He was exhausted. “Mhmm?” he let out, looking into hers. She was his solace.

“How could you ever think you were anything but completely and unequivocally enough?” she whispered the words he dreaded.

But as Spencer looked into her eyes he knew, better than he had ever known anything, that he was enough. And she was enough. He realised that which she had known for the past three months (possibly longer). They fit like two marvellous puzzle pieces.

Her hands grabbed his cheeks slowly, as to not hurt or startle him, pulling his forehead into hers. “Baby, I can’t imagine anybody else waking up to me every morning. You’re so much more than enough”, she planted a small kiss on his forehead before resuming her position. “I’ll remind you every day of the rest of my life if that’s what it takes for you to believe it”.

And with their eyes closed, foreheads and noses pressed together and legs tangled between each other, pulling each other close, closer - around grass and voices and his abuser pressed into the hood of a police car, they only felt each other. With their shaky breaths, even shakier voices, fearing any words that would leave them in case they triggered a cascade of tears down their oh so vulnerable cheeks, they were more than enough.

***

I hope y’all liked it!! Feel free to let me know by liking, reblogging, or sending me a message :) 

super cool kid taglist: @lady-anon-x​ @spencerreid-mgg​​ @eoupe​ @inlovewithbabygirl​ @galaxydefenderjulia​ @username2002​

#reid fluff #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds x reader #sub!spencer reid #sub! reid #spencer reid angst #derek morgan #aaron hotchner #hotch #emily prentiss #emily prentiss was a fucking lesbian #imagines #fic #reid #imagine #mgg #matthew gray gubler #penelope garcia #submit requests please #angst #fluff #505 themed series #505 #matthew #gray #gubler #reid x y/n #spencer x y/n

[imonthinice]

The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 5/?

Word Count: 2.8k

Author’s Note: Y/N - Your name, A/N - Any name ( your best friend’s name)

Part 5! This is going well, I think, I hope you like it :) 

So last night, I finished two parts to this series, and guess what? Turns out when Tumblr glitches you have no rights and suddenly all your work is gone! If you need me, I’ll be crying in my writer’s corner

Warnings: Swearing, Trauma, Family Issues, Left on a cliffhanger lol :) sue me, no beta bitch we die like Jason Todd

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)

Down girl, you’ve been on two dates, did he even open up to you fully? A/N texted back to Y/N, who took a quick break to the bathroom to compose herself and fix her hair after Jason, the man she was casually seeing, opened up to her about his father and his father’s criminal record as well as his mother and his mother’s passing.

Yes he opened up to me! But we’ve been spending all day flirting and I told him about how my father is an immigrant and how I tell everyone I am legally a bastard, and I just don’t know, is it too soon to say I like him?

Go get him, Girl. Go get him.

In the other room, Jason was hastily texting his brother Dick, who has been in a relationship with Barbara for a while now, and is deeply committed to her. So, he needed advice.

How did I know when to kiss Barbara? Do you want to kiss Y/N? Dick asked back to Jason.

Yes I want to kiss her you idiot, but when do I do it? We’ve only been on two dates.

Why don’t you take her to a fancy restaurant out of the city where you aren’t being watched constantly and she isn’t flipping off the paparazzi, and then do it? Also, Bruce thinks her flipping off the pap twice is very funny, shockingly.

As soon as he received that text, she walked back out of the bathroom, this time, letting her hair down out of the bun it is usually in.

“You look nice with your hair down, Y/N.”

“You think so? I usually have it down when I don’t have classes.”

“I do think so.”

“Well, thank you, Jason,” she purred, sitting back down in her chair, opposite him.

“Bruce saw your shenanigans with the pap, he apparently thinks it’s funny.”

“Your family is checking in on you? Can’t they trust me?” she said, in a completely sarcastic tone.

“Well, I was just bragging about how lovely I find you.”

“Kind of you to do so, Jason,” she placed her hands on his and had to lift herself up slightly to lean into him, not to kiss him or anything, but to be closer to him. 

“Your love language is physical attention,” he smirked at her, “I can tell by how you grab me, Y/N.”

“Don’t psych me out now, we’re having fun!” she whisper-yelled at him.”

“I do it when I’m nervous,” he assured.

“What’s there to be nervous of?” she asked.

“The pretty girl leaning into my face making moves on me?”

“You want me to stop?”

“No,” he grinned, “no chance I want you to stop.”

And then his phone rang. He picked it up to hear a very panicked Bruce on the other end,

“Jason, here, now.”

“Okay, okay.”

He hung up and grabbed her hands and leant in, like he was going to kiss her, but only rest his forehead against hers,

“This has been lovely, really, but that was Bruce and he needs me, I’m sorry,” he whispered down to her.

“I understand, we can always go on more dates.”

“I hope we do, see you later, Y/N.”

“See you, Jason.”

And he left. But there was something about the furniture in the house after he left, it smelled like him. Not in a weird way where she was obsessed with it, but she associated the smell with the feeling of riding through the city and the back roads like no one was watching, the feeling of being free, the feeling of being unstoppable.

And that, that was the beauty of the chase, the beauty of what she wanted, to be free, gone from her parents, gone from her twin sister, free.

But, she went to bed that night without even going to her car to pick up her notes. She did have class tomorrow, but it wasn’t criminal psych. It was regular psych. Which she wasn’t stoked for, that’s for damn sure.

-----------------------

Waking up, she opened her phone at around 5am to see a text from Jason,

You know, I always wanted to try some restaurants in Metropolis, I know you don’t like it, but I know the press doesn’t follow me there. What do you say? (Yes I know it’s 3am I’ll tell you all about what happened and why I’m awake so late later lol)

She thought about it, scared that her parents would see her walking around with this guy they didn’t know. Fuck it, she thought, I only live once.

Jason, I would love to. And I hope that story is a good one.

He almost immediately shot back, Mornin’ and yeah, it is. Do you have class today? I can come get you from your’s and pick you up from class if you need it, I swear you won’t have to ride the motorbike in your home city.

I do have class, and you don’t have to but my class is at 3pm again if you’re willing.

Meet up at 12 and talk for a while? Might be fun. 

My roommate will be here, though.

Well, you already inadvertedly met my best friend, remember the baker? His name’s Will Harper. I called in a quick favor to impress you and he’s a sucker for a good romance story.

Well, he seemed nice, and yeah, if you want to meet my roommate you can come over, Jason.

You can call me Jay if you want to, Y/N.

I gotta shower now, Jason, but I figured nick names would come out in time.

She put down her phone and went to shower.

-----------------------------------

“Mornin’ A/N.”

“Y/N,”, she greeted happily, “the coffee’s already brewed by the way.”

“God I love you,” she blurted out.

“Yeah yeah, tell me the drama, did you guys have sex?”

“No, but he’s coming over today to meet you slash talk to me before taking me to class and then driving himself and I to Metropolis for dinner.”

“Escaping the cameras to go to the city that has your parents?” A/N questioned, seeming concerned.

“I know, I know, but I only live once and I doubt we’ll see them. If we do, I might just call him my boyfriend to get it over with. Have to talk to him about that though.”

“Honestly, have you told him how insane your parents are?”

“That’s what I’m planning on doing today, A/N.”

“Don’t scare him off, Y/N.”

Y/N scoffed and she went to go get her notes from last night, it was around 11:50am, so she knew that Jason would be here any minute, but she needed to get those notes into her room, she was right about Jason when he pulled down the street in a Porsche. Pulling into her driveway, Y/N waved at Jason while finishing to pull out her books from her beat up car. Quite the difference from the Porsche and her car, but she only noticed it for a few seconds before both doors slammed, in sync.

“Well, that was timed perfectly,” she said to Jason when he met up with her at her car.

“Wow, we’re magicians,” he joked, “Do you need help?” he asked.

“No, no, I can handle it myself, thank you.”

“Well, it doesn’t kill me to ask, you’re going to need help with that door though,” he mused.

“Oh no, you underestimate me, I can open doors with my hips, and I think I didn’t shut the door the whole way so I could do this easier,” she laughed and began to lead him up the driveway, like she had done last night before he ran off with Bruce.

“Thinking ahead?”

“Something I clearly didn’t do when saying we could go to Metropolis, I’ll admit.”

“What do you mean?”

“We have time to talk about it later, Jay, are you however, ready to meet my roommate?”

“No, but you only live once, Y/N.”

“You won’t die, I promise,” she said as she nudged the door open with her hip and greeted A/N, “Hey girl! This is Jason, entertain him while I file notes, maybe, I swear I’ll speed run it.”

“Entertain him? Are you serious? He’s your guest!” she joked.

“Hey thanks man really appreciate it,” Y/N joked before hastily walking towards her bedroom, this was obviously a song and dance they had done with A/N’s lover, so Y/N shot it back at A/N.

“Jason.”

“A/N, right?”

“Yes, sir, how are you today?”

“I’m good, was that a fight?” he questioned.

“No, don’t worry, it’s just the way I acted when I first brought my partner, person, thing, over. She’s just being spiteful. Trust me, if it was a fight, there’d be a lot more of a screaming match.”

“Well, that’s reassuring, I think.”

“So, Jason, do you like her?” she asked.

“We’ve been on back-to-back dates since Sunday, A/N,” he paused, “I really do.”

“Well, it is not like I am going to sit here and be like ‘Oh you can’t date her!’ and feign being upset about this, I mean it’s been 2 dates and you’re going on a third, if that’s not leading towards seriousness, I don’t know what is,” she assured him. He seemed to like this.

“How much has she told you? My secrets or anything?”

“God no, you’ll tell me those with time when we’re friends.”

“Well, I hope you’re a good friend to Y/N and myself, in the future, then.”

“The future is just around the corner. Don’t let Y/N escape you. She’s a catch,” she finished as Y/N reentered the room,

“Did you two have fun?” Y/N asked.

“I think we did,” Jason said.

“We did,” A/N assured, “you two can go to her room now, I’ll be fine.”

“I wasn’t worried you weren’t going to be, you always are.” Y/N said to A/N before grabbing Jason’s hand and taking him to her room. He hadn’t been in her room yet.

It was kind of a mess, I mean it wasn’t like they had a maid and they’re both broke college/university students. Notes were strewn across her desk, but that was expected with such a high-study class, the one they met in.

“You clearly like the colour red,” Jason said, pointing to the obvious red feature wall, grinning.

“Well, I told my sister to design my room last time she was over and she picked it based off of the criteria I gave her, she’s going to be an interior designer, and red was one of the colours I gave her,” Y/N said with a sigh, “That’s kind of the thing we need to talk about, my family,” she sighed again, “They are, special, to say the least.”

“Well, so is mine.”

“Yeah but,” she sat on her bed and he joined her, “My family is quite, how do you say it, Christian? They’re very hard to impress and if they see me running around the city with you they might expect you to be my boyfriend, not the guy I’ve known for 3 days and went on back-to-back dates with,” she rambled, “ Not that they wont like you! They’re just traditional, and I’m not and it drives a slight wedge between us,” she paused to look at him, “This is just a really long-winded warning about only a chance to meet them,” she finished.

“Well, that doesn’t scare me. You would understand why if you knew the Waynes, not that they’re traditional, they too, are just hard to impress,” he assured.

“Probably shouldn’t have flipped off the paparazzi then, honestly.”

“No, Bruce found that funny. And about last night, my brother, Damien, he’s the youngest Wayne and one of the only not-adopted ones, being 3 not adopted ones,” he paused, “Anyway, he broke his leg playing office chair racing in the Manor, and I needed to go to Bruce to get yelled at for bringing up the idea,” he laughed, “Bruce then told me after that if he was invited I wouldn’t have been yelled at,” he paused, “That was fun.”

“So, very posh and pristine family, and one of you broke your leg roughhousing in a very expensive Manor?”

“Only in Wayne Manor would that be a sentence.”

“Seems like you have your hands tied with your family,” she joked.

“I wouldn’t if the idiots stopped hurting themselves playing games when I’m on dates,” he retorted and laughed with Y/N.

It seemed crazy that these two would meet, since so many factors played into it, but she swore God saw the potential for this to happen and said, This, this deserves a shot to shine. And she was grateful. She didn’t exactly believe in God, but if God sent her this boy, she might change her mind on going to church with her parents when they invite her.

And that’s the beauty in the mystery, the beauty in the ‘Positive’ they claimed after not knowing what to do next but still powering through to go on dates, and they had gone on enough dates and spent at least 1 third of the last 3 days with each other. That was impressive. That was a good sign and they both knew it.

The next step was packing a few bags and going on 24 hour dates in the cities, but they weren’t ready for that yet. They both thought a first kiss would be better before that. Luckily, Jason wanted to kiss her today, and she wanted to kiss him today.

Before they knew it, they were in the Porsche driving through the streets she describes all-too well, blasting songs and screaming lyrics with Jason, a song stuck out and that was the Annapantsu’s Smooth Criminal Rendition with Caleb Hyles. Since the rendition had a multitude of riffs that Y/N adored, she would scream it and Jason would continue the male parts. It was peaceful yet the most high-pressure intense situation she had felt in a while.

--------------------------------

Getting out of class, she somehow avoided the paparazzi she had grown somewhat accustomed to over the days she had known Jason, she got back into the Porsche before they noticed she was even there, but then they noticed, and Jason fucking floored it to the streets and out of there.

He dropped her off at her place to get ready for an expensive dinner with him in Metropolis. She thought long and heard about what to wear to her date, but in the end, she decided on a nice pink dress her mother had bought for her back in Metropolis. She had told her daughter, Only wear this on a date with a man you think is endgame, now, she didn’t know if Jason was endgame, but she did want to put all the energy she could into the universe to make him worthwhile.

(This is the first time I’m going to include pictures! I think I’m getting the hand of Tumblr now hehe :) )

(If the skin tone doesn’t match your own, because you’re darker or paler, just imagine it’s yours :) you’re all beautiful in your own right and I’ll use pictures with varying skin tones as I progress the story)

She gave a little twirl in her mirror before taking a quick picture to send to one of her other class friends, who was wondering how things were going with Jason at the time. Her name was Artemis Crock, she knew that Art and Jason were friends, but she also liked Artemis Crock a lot, thinking that they were likely going to be good friends.

You’re going to make him swear up and down to Will that he is ‘Only seeing you casually’ while Will says he’s in love with you, you’re killing it. She shot to Y/N.

Y/N smiled and left her bedroom to go meet up with A/N, who wanted to make sure the dress she was wearing was cute, and it was,

“Holy shit! I said look cute, not make him your bitch, Y/N!”

“Potato, Potahto,” she laughed, “You really think I look worthy of a Wayne?”

“You always do, but you didn’t have to go THIS  hard to prove a point. Only one tabloid said you weren’t enough for him,” she paused and Y/N thought about that tabloid, it upset her, sure. But she was completely aware that spite was going to fuel many of her next moves in the press, “Just the one tabloid.”

“And the one tabloid is enough to make me spiteful. Fuck them tabloids, girl, they can suck it,” she said.

“I don’t think Jason would appreciate if the tabloids blew you,” she joked.

“You don't know that, A/N,” she retorted.

“Do you know that?” A/N said as the doorbell rang, “I’m assuming that’s for you, have fun!” A/N said and waved as Y/N waved back and walked to answer the door. Yep, it was Jason.

“Woah,” he said, mouth agape, when she answered the door.

“Close your mouth, Romeo. You’ll attract flies,” she joked.

#jason todd #jason todd x reader #jason todd x fem!reader #jason todd x y/n #jason todd x you #jason todd fluff #red hood #red hood x reader #red hood x fem!reader #red hood x y/n #red hood x you #red hood fluff #batfam #batfamily #batbros #roy harper #will harper dc #artemis crock #dceu #dcu #dc

[hanatiny]

Aim To Please

a/n: I’m aware that certain kinks in this may not sit well with some people, but I have a very specific target audience for this one so :) a/n 2: happy birthday to the stressed mom Seonghwa, hope he eats well and has a good day~ <3

pairing: incubus!Seonghwa x f!reader

genre: smut, fluff

word count: 1866

warnings: consensual somnophilia, unprotected sex, noona kink, pet names, Hwa has a gun kink, he's also a whiny service top, praise kink, marking (both biting and light scratching), brief mention of overstimulation, orgasm control

-----

Seonghwa had been visiting you somewhat regularly for a couple months now. He first came to you in a dream while you were feeling lonely and then another night, when you found yourself unable to sleep, he actually physically materialised in front of you.

Incubi were said to simply come to 'their human' for sex and that was that, they would leave once they got what they wanted.

Seonghwa, however, was a little different. He had a bit of a childlike curiosity to him, ironic as it seemed for an immortal demonic creature, and you adored the way his eyes would light up like shooting stars every time you'd talk to him and tell him about your day or simply recount a memory you happened to be fond of.

You grew attached to each other rather quickly and easily, a strong emotional bond forming between the two of you that one wouldn't necessarily think possible.

And so, when he arrived this particular night, he couldn’t help but pout a little when he found you fast asleep in your bed. Then again he couldn’t really blame you, it was sometime between 2 and 3am after all. In all honestly, he was relieved to see you get some rest, knowing how you struggled at times.

He visited you for a different reason tonight though; it was his creation day - or birthday, a word he learned from you that meant essentially the same thing in human terms, which he used interchangeably.

He wanted to celebrate it with you and to do so, he’d either have to wait until you'd awaken on your own accord, or wake you up himself. He technically wanted to do neither but he was an incubus, so he did the one thing that he knew how to do.

Hesitating for a beat, then, Seonghwa's face blossomed a cherry red when he recalled how you had previously informed in a conversation that he had been given explicit permission to have his way with you whenever he pleased.

Feeling the mattress dip beneath his weight, he carefully maneuvered himself onto the mattress to hover above you. Seonghwa, careful and gentle as ever, balanced himself on one hand while lifting the other to brush a few strands of hair out of your face.

Your expression was peaceful as you slept, head tilted slightly to the side, and he couldn't help but coo softly at the sight while he briefly lost himself in his own thoughts.

How would he ever tell you that he had fallen in love with you, someone belonging in a different world...? He had yet to figure it out.

He shook his emotional dilemma off in favor of trailing his lips down from your jaw over your neck and collarbone with slow, deliberate kisses. You stirred slightly with a soft hum, remaining asleep.

Seonghwa’s soft lips attached themselves to your skin to gently suck a marking near your shoulder. Once satisfied, he pulled back and his hands went to free your sleeping form from the blanket it was covered with.

He froze in his tracks for a brief moment, not having expected you to be dressed exclusively in an oversized t-shirt. He bit his lip and toyed with the hem of the piece of fabric that still covered your body before pushing it up to under your breasts for easier access to where he wanted to be.

His hands established a gentle but firm grip on your thighs and parted them for him while he nipped all over the skin of your stomach, trying to distract himself and not turn bright red once more from the realization of your lack of underwear.

Like the gentle man he was, Seonghwa glided his fingertips over your inner thighs with featherlight touches and if it wasn’t for the airy giggle you let out, having known you were rather ticklish, he would have thought you couldn’t feel him at all.

You leaned into his touch slightly out of instinct when his fingers ghosted over your slit to see if you were wet enough to take him -  he knew it could be painfully if either party isn’t aroused to a more than sufficient level. But, to his relief, you were practically dripping, which led him to believe you may have been having a wet dream. Little did he know, you had been in a limbo between asleep and awake ever since his hands first came into contact with your heated skin.

Seonghwa was way too focused on his task to notice your state of half-consciousness, and he didn’t even connect the dots when you mewled out loud after he had discarded his pants and gradually pushed his length into your entrance.

Once he bottomed out, he whined softly as he began to rock his hips into you and it surprised you time and time how gentle he’d start off with you - as if you were a porcelain doll and he was afraid of breaking you - and that you’d always, without fail, remind him that he didn’t have to be, that you could take it.

There was a tenderness in his actions that you couldn’t quite place. You refused to believe that the root of it was love.

It was when his voice went high-pitched with a shaky “N-noona..~” that your eyes flew open, thankful for his lack of focus on you while he moaned softly, your hand blindly fumbling for something under the pillow next to you.

Your fingers finally took hold of and wrapped around the cold metal item, pulling it out from where you hid it until mere seconds ago, and Seonghwa’s hips stuttered slightly when he heard a familiar soft click, but he only snapped his gaze back forward to look at you wide-eyed as he felt a gun barrel pressed to the side of his head.

“Noona, I-”

“Hush, sugar. You’ll be good and listen to every word I say, yeah~?” You smirked up at him as he nodded and let out a desperate whine of affirmation.

It was a peculiar kink of him to have to want to call you noona, you mused, considering that he was a century old creature and you physically would not be able to top that as a human being. But you figured that it wouldn’t hurt to indulge him, considering that no one in his past seemed to have done so based on his delight when you complied and agreed.

Whimpers from the man above you pulled you back into the present reality as you watched him struggle to keep up a rhythm with the gun pressed to his head. You cooed at how good of a job he was doing regardless, “Such a good boy, fucking noona good just how he knows she likes it...~”

Seonghwa cried out, his face flushed because of how he submissive he acted, contrary to how he usually at least tried to appear to be.

“Mhm, my pretty babyboy figured he could use my body for his own pleasure, similar to how the rest of his kind does hm~? It’s cute, really.” You purred, unable to stop a moan from slipping from your lips while your grip on the loaded gun tightened slighly, although you made sure to keep your fingers away from the trigger just in case.

“You make noona feel so good, sugar, just like you’re meant to...~” You smiled up at Seonghwa with a so obviously deceiving sweetness that made his pouty lips tremble slightly, a few strands of his messy hair sticking to his slightly sweaty forehead.

You knew the telltale signs of when he was about to cum, your first trist with the demon having been what felt like years ago although it only lied back a few months.

“I-I... Noona, ‘m already close...~” He panted softly above you, causing you to coo as he twitched inside of you, a smile tugging at you lips.

“Mhm I can tell, baby~ You can hold it in for a little longer for noona, no?” Your voice carried a lilt as you hummed and it unsettled Seonghwa that he couldn’t quite place it, but he nodded eagerly nonetheless, not willing to even so much as risk disappointing you.

“Y-yeah!” He gasped softly when you suddenly wrapped your legs around his waist to pull him even deeper inside of you, your back arching as you did so, “Good boy...~ Oh fuck, right there-”

You hissed lowly under your breath, having unintentionally pushed the tip of your lover’s cock right into the spot that would make you come undone. Seonghwa whined loudly and desperately above you as he continued his almost frenzied thrusts into your heat, his head thrown back and his body on the verge of overstimulation when you found your climax around his length.

It was convenient for him to be so well-endowed, you mused, since he was able to hit the most pleasurable spots deep inside of you with ease.

“P-please noona, I-I can’t-”

“Cum, Seonghwa.”

And just like that, with two simple words, he let go and released himself inside of you, a soft moan drifting from you at the feeling of warmth spreading through your body.

Seonghwa panted softly as he slowly came down from his high, reaching to caress your cheek as if in a trance while you dropped the hand holding the gun onto a pillow next to the two of you before letting go of the item entirely.

Having caught your breath, you nudged him to roll over, which he willingly did after carefully pulling out of you.

You turned to face him, tenderly threading a hand through his hair as he pouted at you.

“Y/n-”

“Shh, I know Hwa. I should get cleaned up... but I’m too tired, so I’ll just shower in the morning.” You smiled reassuringly, to which he relaxed as well and wordlessly wrapped his arm around you to pull you close and cuddle you.

“Happy birthday...~” You murmured before drifting off, leading Seonghwa to coo softly at you in endearment as he held you close to himself protectively.

You were truly the only gift he could ever want and need.

When you woke up the next morning, it was in an entirely different position than the one you fell asleep in. Shifting in your bed, you realized that your supernatural companion had cleaned both himself and you in the night before making sure to dress you appropriately so you wouldn’t be cold.

You found your gun on the nightstand next to you a few moments after, along with a small note Seonghwa must’ve written in a hurry if the handwriting on it was anything to go by.

‘Thought I’d allow myself to clean you up so you could stay under your comfy blankets a little longer. Hope you don’t mind :)’

There were a few hearts scribbled all over the piece of paper, and your head fell back against your pillow with a knowing smile and a happy sigh.

You were glad the incubus seemed to reciprocate your feelings, and you’d be sure to tell him so when he would return.

“I love you too, Hwa.”

----- Taglist:

@cometoceantrenches @ddeonghwva  @galaxteez @innosintsan @latte-fairytaekwoon @little-precious-baby @multidreams-and-desires @nightqueennyx @vocalyunho @yunhoes-twancings-nsfw @yunhoiseyecandy

Network tag:

@8makes1teamnet​

#8makes1teamnet #ateez smut #seonghwa smut #ateez seonghwa smut #seonghwa fluff #someone please appreciate my pun- #hanatiny writes #park seonghwa smut

[hangovercurse]

Once a Month

Colson doesn’t understand why you’re acting so strange, so you have to explain that your monthly visitor has arrived.

Request: “Hi, I love your writing! If you want to write something like that, I have a suggestion: Not to be mean but I think Colson can be really dumb/ignorant about stuff that doesn’t concern him. Idk maybe hes in a relationship with the reader and doesn’t understand stuff that comes with being a women, either period stuff or body hair stuff idk? And he hurts her with commenting about it without noticing? And please fluff in the end where he gets educated”

Colson x Reader

Warnings: Cursing, fighting, talking about periods, a single sexual reference

A/N: I don’t know how this got so long...

Word Count: 2945

Having a vagina really fucking sucks sometimes. Specifically, for one week a month, when your body decided it needed to bleed out of said vagina for a whole week. No period was easy, and yours was no exception. But getting your period while living in a house with a bunch of guys, who all had dicks, was a nightmare. It seemed like no one knew what you were going through physically and emotionally. You had been on Depo-Provera since you met Colson, so you had never been on your period around him. But your doctor decided to take you off of it because your bone mineral content was getting too low. So here you were, 6 months later, and getting your first period post- birth control.

You had a more hormonal period, meaning you were constantly jumping from one mood to another. Today was your third day, and you wanted to rip your uterus out. You were sitting on the couch, curled up next to Colson as a movie played on the TV. Your cramps were killing you, so you weren’t really paying attention to anything that was happening.

You heard someone say something about a club, and you assumed they were suggesting going to a club, even though they went last night, and the night before, and the night before. And normally you would be down for clubbing with your boyfriend and your friends, but today the stabbing pain in your abdomen told you “no,” just as it had for the past few days.

All the guys had agreed, their eyes landing on you and waiting for a response. “Uh, I’m not really feeling it tonight, guys.”

Colson rolled his eyes, “you haven’t been feeling it all week.” He complained and you frowned.

“I just don’t want to go tonight.” You mumbled, a little angry that he would start an argument in front of all the guys.

“Why do you have to be such a buzzkill?” He complained, the arm that was previously wrapped around you pulled away. “You’ve been in a shitty mood all week, it’s fucking annoying.”

You bit your lip, feeling tears biting at your eyes. You weren’t sure if you were upset or angry, or both. But you knew it wouldn’t be pretty to keep this conversation going. “Whatever, have fun.” You scoffed, the anger taking over. You rolled your eyes and stood up, walking to yours and Colson’s shared bedroom. You made it just past the doorway when the tears started rolling down your face.

You closed the door behind you and shut the light off before trying to muffle your cries with the sleeve of Colson’s shirt that you were wearing. You laid down on the bed, facing away from the door in an almost fetal position. The tears didn’t stop, and all you could focus on was Colson’s anger towards you. Why couldn’t you just be a good girlfriend and go with him? Why did you have to be a buzzkill?

You heard the garage open and shut, signaling that the group had left for the club. He’s probably going to find a girl to hook up with tonight. Your brain told you, making you cry even harder.

And then you felt guilty for thinking that. Wow, you really think so low of Colson that you think he’d cheat on you. You really are the world’s worst girlfriend.

Every thought spiraled into another, until you decided to watch TV to distract yourself. It worked pretty well, your period head being happy from the dopamine you got while watching The Good Place. But, like all good things, your happy mood came to an end when you heard the garage door open hours later.

You looked at your phone, realizing it was already 3am. You had hoped to be asleep when Colson got home, but you hadn’t managed to drift off to sleep, probably because you’d taken a nap at 2pm earlier. You sighed, preparing for the mess that was about to come through the door.

And like you had summoned him; Colson came stumbling through the door of your bedroom. “Why are you still awake?” He grumbled, stripping his shirt off.

You shrugged, pausing Chidi’s rant about the ethics of truth. “Couldn’t sleep.” Colson sat on the edge of his side of the bed, tattooed back facing you, typing on his phone. The smell of alcohol and weed coming from him made you feel queasy. “You should take a shower.”

Colson stood back up, throwing his phone on the nightstand, and taking off his jeans. “I’ll take one in the morning.” You shut the TV off, laying down fully in the bed to face your boyfriend. He pulled the comforter back, climbing into the bed beside you and pulling you into his arms.

You pushed him away, the smell even worse now. Colson tsked at you, glaring at you as you scrunched your nose up in disgust. “What the fuck is your problem?” You rolled onto your side, your back facing him. “Is this because I called you a buzzkill earlier? It’s not that serious.” He rolled his eyes, even though you couldn’t see him, and flipped onto his back.

“It’s not but thanks for bringing it up.” You mumbled, still turned away from him. Your mind wandered back to the conversation earlier in the evening, and you got upset about it all over again.

Colson sighed, his hands moving to rub his face. “Then please, tell me what I did this time.” He sat up, flicking on the lamp beside him to light up the room. You groaned, burying your head into your pillow.

“You just smell.” You mumbled into the fabric.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He mumbled to himself, but you still heard it, “You’re mad at me because I smell?”

You let out an annoyed sigh, “I’m not mad at you, I just can’t stand the smell of you right now. It’s making me sick.” You could feel his temper rising even though you couldn’t see him. The feeling made you want to cry.

“Seriously, Y/N? What the fuck is up with you lately? You’ve been acting like a bitch all week.” Now that did make you cry. You sat up, grabbing your pillow and your phone and standing up, walking towards the door. “Where are you going?” Colson asked, more annoyed then concerned.

Colson couldn’t see your face, but he could hear your sniffle as you opened the closet and pulled down an extra blanket. “I’m sleeping on the couch.” You continued your trek to the door, pausing as your hand touched the handle, “Sorry for being such a shitty girlfriend.” You muttered, opening the door and leaving the room.

You threw the pillow onto the couch, laying down and pulling the blanket over you.  Your hand came up to your mouth as you muffled your sobs again, hoping no one else in the house could hear you. Colson sat in his bed, staring at the door that you just left through with a confused expression. You’d gotten into worse fights before and you hadn’t cried then, what was so different now?

He threw his head back onto the bed, a frustrated groan leaving his mouth. He was in no state to convince you back to bed, and he knew you wouldn’t listen to him anyways, so he turned the lamp off and tried to go to sleep.

 You woke up at 7 the next morning due to your cramps feeling like someone was stabbing you from inside your body. You knew you wouldn’t go back to sleep, and the pain was intense, but the only anti-inflammatory medication in the house was in yours and Colson’s bathroom, which meant you would have to go through the room to get it. And you were very determined to not go in there, assuming he was probably still mad at you. You didn’t think you could handle him yelling at you again.

But after an hour and a half of trying to distract yourself with your phone, you felt like you were gonna throw up if you didn’t take any meds. So, you dragged yourself off the couch, walking into the kitchen to grab a piece of bread (don’t take anti-inflammatories on an empty stomach y’all) and shoving it in your mouth. It wasn’t the best thing in the world to eat at 8:30 in the morning, but it would be enough to prevent the Aspirin from fucking up your stomach.

You shuffled to your room, hesitantly reaching for the door handle. You knew Colson would be asleep, but you were still shaking with anxiety. Taking a deep breath, you slowly opened the door, relaxing a bit when you saw your boyfriend sleeping. You stepped lightly, trying to be as quiet as possible as you crossed the room to the bathroom.

Once in the tiled room you shuffled through the drawers, trying to find the bottle that would magically relieve your pain. You frowned as you pulled open the fourth drawer, still not finding the bottle. You were sure you had a bottle in here somewhere.

“Babe?” Shit. Colson’s morning voice called from the bed. You peaked your head out of the bathroom, his eyes finding yours.

“Sorry, I’m just looking for the Aspirin.” You said quietly, moving back into the bathroom to continue your search.

“It’s in here.” Of course it’s in there, why wouldn’t it be in there?

You trudged out of the bathroom, finding the bottle in his hands. You flashed him a small smile, grabbing the bottle from his hands. Any thoughts of last night momentarily left your mind as you poured two tablets into your hand. “Everything okay?” Colson sat up, watching as you moved towards your side of the bed.

“Yeah.” You said, walking to your nightstand to grab the water that you keep there. You swallowed the pills, looking at Colson’s concerned face. “I’m fine, just cramps.”

Looking at his face made your heart fall. Even when you two were fighting he was worried about you. “Can we talk about last night?” You asked, realizing you needed to address your argument. Colson nodded, reaching to pull you onto the bed. You loved morning Colson; he was very cuddly.

You happily moved into his arms, your chest pressed against his back, his arms around your middle, and head resting against yours. “I’m sorry I got so upset.” You mumbled. “My hormones are making me an emotional wreck. I forgot how bad they could get.”

“What do you mean?” He asked, looking down at you. There was concern in his eyes, but a lot of confusion.

You tilted your head, realizing he hadn’t pieced things together. “You know, my period hormones.” He furrowed his eyebrows and you laughed softly. “Oh my god have you never experienced this with a girl?”

He frowned, “No. I thought your birth control stopped your periods?”

“Yeah, but remember I had to stop taking it a few months ago? It’s finally fully out of my system.”

He nodded, “Wait so what does your period have to do with hormones?”

You tilted your head back so your crown fell against his chest as you tried not to laugh. “You know how people always ask a girl if she’s on her period when she gets really mad or upset?” Colson nodded, his eyes trained on you, listening attentively. “Well, its because when you get your period, for the last few days leading up to it and the first few days you’re on it, certain hormone levels are low. So, you’re really sensitive emotionally. The levels raise throughout your cycle, so you get less irritable after the first few days, but its still not necessarily fun.”

“So, when I complained about you not wanting to go out…”

“I got really upset. I mean I would’ve gotten upset either way, but I probably would’ve brushed it off normally.” You laced your fingers through his. “And the reason I didn’t want to go out was because I could barely stand up, much less go out and party.”

“Wait actually?” He seemed genuinely concerned.

You chuckled a little at his childlike wonder of your period. “Yeah, even if I take medicine my cramps kill me. And I’m either really tired or really awake most of the time.”

“Where are your cramps?” He asked, and you moved his hands towards your lower stomach. “Here?” You nodded, and he started massaging the area softly, easing some of the pain. “Is that helpful or does it make it worse?” He asked.

You hummed, “very helpful.” He continued his motions and you kept explaining. “Heat also helps. I used to have a hot water bottle but I got rid of it since I wasn’t getting my periods anymore. And I haven’t felt good enough to go to the store and get another.”

He kissed the skin behind your ear, resting his head there. “You should’ve told me, babe. I would’ve gotten you one.” You shrugged, smiling at his worry. “I wouldn’t’ve been such a dick, too.” He mumbled.

You turned your body to face him, wrapping your hands around his neck, “you didn’t know, babe. It’s okay. But maybe you shouldn’t be a dick even when I’m not on my period.” You gave him a wide, sarcastic smile.

“I know, I’m sorry.” He whispered, a frown on his face. You leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “Is there anything else I should know about your period?”

“I get really bad cravings, like chocolate, candy, salty food, literally anything. And it’s always random.”

He pecked your lips, “Tell me what you want and I’ll get it for you.” You smiled, closing your eyes, and resting your forehead against his.

“Oh, and we can’t have sex.” He pulled away from you, a confused look on his face. “Babe, I’m bleeding out of my vagina. It would be really really gross.”

“But that doesn’t mean we can’t do other things, right?” He tilted his head, smirking.

“Don’t ask me to blow you while I’m on my period. If I want to, I’ll tell you.” You giggled. “Seriously, this shit sucks.”

“You’re telling me.” He chuckled and you slapped his chest lightly. “I’m kidding.” He pulled you closer to him so your head was pressed against his chest. You could hear his heartbeat and it made you smile. “Whatever you need, just tell me and I’ll do it.” He mumbled; lips pressed against your hair.

You looked up at him, pressing a kiss to his jaw. “You could take a shower?” You asked sweetly.

He laughed, “was that a period thing too?”

You nodded, “yeah I get sick really easily. I can’t go in a car unless I’m driving because I get too nauseous. Some smells can set me off too.”

He nodded, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. “Hey, just promise me one thing?” You looked up at him, urging him to continue. “Next time something’s wrong, tell me, please? I know you’re my soulmate and everything but I can’t read your mind.”

Your eyes widened when he said that, cheeks turning red. “You really think that?” You asked in awe.

“Of course I think that. You’re literally my perfect half. You get along with all my friends, you take care of Casie like she’s your own kid, you put up with all of my shit. I dunno, I just feel like we were made for each other.” You leaned up, pulling him in for a long, sweet kiss.

“I am so in love with you.” You whisper as you pulled away. “Like so so so in love with you.” You smiled.

He kissed you again, a smile on his face. “Oh, one more thing.” He said, and you hummed in response. “Next time we have a fight, don’t walk out on me, please? I don’t want us to go to sleep mad at each other.”

You nodded, moving your arms to take his hands in yours. “I won’t. I promise.” You whispered. “Can you promise me something?” You looked up at him, his eyes entrancing yours. “If we are fighting, can we not do it in front of our friends?”

He nodded, kissing you once more. “Promise.”

“Do you have plans today?” You asked.

“I don’t think so.”

“Can we stay in bed and cuddle all day?” You gave him your best puppy dog eyes and he broke out into a smile.

He nodded, “We can do whatever you want to do, sweetheart.” You smiled, practically tackling him back onto the bed so you were laying down, you clinging to him like a Koala bear. “I’ll send Irv and Baze to the store in a while for you.”

You rolled your eyes, smiling into his neck. “I would complain that you should do it yourself, but that would require you leaving me, and that’s not happening anytime soon.” Colson opened his mouth to say something, but you cut him off, “except for you taking a shower. I have not forgotten.”

“Damn.”

You giggled, sticking to his chest as he sat up, trying to get out of bed. “You say you want me to shower but you’re making it impossible to get out of bed.”

“You have to be nice to me, I’m on my period.” You smiled up at him.

He shook his head, chuckling. “Fine, I guess I’ll just bring you into the shower with me.”

“I’m not complaining. But I’m just warning you I’m bloated as hell right now.”

“And yet you’re still the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”

#machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly imagine #mgk #mgk imagine #mgk angst #mgk fluff #Colson baker #colson x reader #colson baker imagine #colson baker fluff #colson baker angst