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ruminate88 · 4 months

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Hi! I'm trying to learn how to be a better person and I've been reading your blog since I found it. I'm sorry for what you went through. I hope you get better soon. I know it's cliche to say you're not alone, but you are probably feeling like you are because narcissistic abuse includes being isolated--by being manipulated or being forced to isolate yourself. It's a very slow healing process like an amputated limb, but it WILL get better as you find peace.

Can you maybe make a post with a list of all the bad things narcs have done to you? I think listing helps.

I appreciate you reading my blog if this is all for you, I’m glad I created it. I wanted to help at least one person see a light at the end of their tunnel. Thank you for the kind words I know I’m not completely alone, I pray to God everyday and believe he hears my cries and cares but physically, yes, I don’t talk to family or friends about any of this, I stay to myself, as I’ve been ashamed and unsure if they would be able to understand all I went through and obviously not to upset family.

I can only tell you I’ve felt like a broken/bad person many of days and I don’t take all the credit in healing myself, I believe God has done most of the work. The best choice I ever made was to admit I failed my life and myself. To ask God to change me and change the direction of my life because I was totally lost not knowing what I needed or wanted!! Nothing had been working for me and I was in the vicious cycle of dating manipulating/controlling men. I HAD to make a change or I was going to hurt myself. I felt like a piece of garage that my exes threw away. 😔😔😔

Things that was hardest about narcissistic abuse:

• You don’t recognize the isolation until you’re out of the relationship with the narcissist. You’re so desperate; worried about pleasing them and making them not upset with you, you spend all your time away from people who actually care about you. Memories of those times makes me so sad to this day.

• The love-bomb phase although it appeared wonderful and my exes were paying me so much attention, I think that phase was the most sickening and disturbing phase. They literally pretend to be the “partner of your dreams” while they’re deceiving you so they can use you and control you. I had been unstable already within my mental health so I was an easy target for them to trick me. My ex Andrew told me, “I mean it with all my heart and soul that I love you and want you to text me” even though he had went no contact from me a whole week prior. Him saying such a great statement kept me pulled in to his toxic pool and I kept on drowning in it.

• so I dealt with 3 narcissists but the 2nd one, Cody, he dumped me twice but the 2nd time he did it by ghosting me. I’m not trying to be dramatic when I say it was very traumatizing… Considering you’re in trauma bond with this person. They create a false narrative that you’re both so obsessed with each other and you believe the feelings are reciprocated but they’re not!! The narcissistic relationship is extremely one-sided. So him ghosting me, he not only made me so attached and crazy about the fairytale love he made up with me but then to just ghost me and rip it all away, took my spirit at that time. I was a dead person walking after that. I saw almost NO hope for me. Then to meet Andrew not even 6 months after and I begged Andrew pleeeease don’t hurt me like Cody did but Andrew couldn’t help who he is. 💔🖤

• Another scar I have had to overcome is after I broke up with Andrew, we continued to flirt and sext a lot but then started to argue a lot. (He would claim he missed sexting me but then blame me and say I was making him wanna sext that I didn’t respect the breakup) Arguing through text is always rough because words can be misconstrued. (I couldn’t hardly get him on the phone ever to actually talk. He only wanted to text.) Andrew said very hurtful things to me. He kept changing “our story” because he couldn’t be honest with himself or take accountability for the fact he was in a real relationship with me for a year. He told me “He pretended all this feelings to just lead me on” but then quickly changed his story again to say “he was in love with me but fell out of love with me and was afraid to tell me” but the biggest slap in my face was eventually he exclaimed, “If I’m hurting you so much then just stop caring about me.” 😭 (as if I could just undo the attachment he allowed me to make with him. The many months he got my hopes up with future faking plus the promises he gave to me that I held onto but he couldn’t take accountability for anything he had done to me or with me.

• Eventually during the many arguments I had with Andrew, I hit my breaking point and had a suicide attack!! I let him know right away I was done fighting and didn’t see how I could continue on with him. I told him I wanted to end my life and then flipped a switch and pretended to be scared for me and pretended to “rescue me” blew up my phone begging me to stay and saying he’s sorry to have said what he said in our arguments. I wanted to believe him so bad. Whenever the attack subsided hours later and I was able to calmly reply to his countless pleas for me to stay, he pretended to have been so “worried about me” but then explained he believed “I wasn’t well and needed to get professional help.” He made me believe I was messed up and had so many issues…. Now I finally look back and think that was a form of gaslighting. He found something he could use to make me look like a problem and it deflected the focus off of him being a cheater and a liar. (He had a new girlfriend already) That whole situation caused me so much anger that I never saw till years later when I am now healing, I realize I had all that anger to deal with. It was uncomfortable!

• Always being nervous with their reactions and consistenly apologizing for them, as they make you to believe everything is your fault. They don’t like when you speak up against their actions and behaviors. 3 times I tried to confront Andrew as he would ignore me 2/3 days at a time but then always come back and treat me like I was his baby and he wanted me. Those 3 times I would ask if he’s too busy for us, does he want to break up and just be friends but he would always get so defensive and act upset like I was causing him so much stress. It would always end with me being sorry and telling him how much I adore him and I would kiss his feet like he was a king and he would then say the most romantic things to me and say how beautiful I was BUT I always knew in the back of my mind he was cheating and hiding stuff from me but I was scared to admit it out loud and “lose him.” My friends would tell me what a loser he was that I should leave him but I would get so upset and push my friends away. Andrew was barely there for me but I was 110% faithful to him.

• Seeking their approval was super exhausting too and it’s taken me years to relax and be comfortable within my skin. Andrew and Cody both gave me so little but they took everything from me. I was pathetic in sitting next to my phone 24/7 begging Andrew to text me and pay me attention because when he did, it was always “hey babe I missed you” and he would Snapchat me selfies and I would melt at his sparklingly blue eyes yet they were fake. Truly his eyes are black!!! I would cry for days with my phone and stalk Andrew’s social media pages hoping I don’t find other women and I could never find proof he was cheating. When Andrew would finally text me back or Snapchat me, I didn’t want him to leave again so I was throwing myself at him!! 🥴🥴🥴 I would dress up with all the makeup and sometimes no clothes on hoping to make him wanna stay and he would tell me how much I turned him on how he wanted me but didn’t wanna tell our parents about our relationship… (I just knew he was hiding things and other girls but I would not admit it for months)

They make holidays miserable 😩 •Halloween - Andrew said he was going to a party, didn’t invite me and I didn’t hear from him again till the next day. (Cheating)

• Thanksgiving, didn’t hear from Andrew at all till later that night and he was out “Black Friday shopping” and treating me like some random person he’s texting. I spent that whole day isolated during my family dinner. I had my phone on a charger in the wall and spent hours trying to type a long text message to tell him how bothered I was with his “hot and cold” behavior but every time I wanted to send it to him, I was scared he would dump me and I kept erasing my message and retyping it. People kept asking “you okay??” And I pretended I was fine. He stole that thanksgiving away from me!! (Mind you any regular day Andrew would text me just fine it was only holidays he ruined)

• Christmas - sucked!!!! No good morning babe or merry Christmas from Andrew till really late when the day is almost over. I yet again was isolating myself during family time. Stayed in my bedroom so sad why my “boyfriend” hadn’t texted me alllll day. When he did finally text, I confronted his absense and he exclaimed “he wasn’t worthy of my love” and “he wasn’t good enough for me.” I thought he was breaking up with me and I cried so hard. He swore that he wasn’t breaking up but that he believed I deserved better than him and he could never be enough for me. It was so confusing and I was actually happy when the day ended because it just sucked so much 😣

• Valentine’s Day - Was the worst one. Andrew was different the whole month of January prior. He was the best boyfriend daily talking sweet to me and showing me “affection” and selfies galore but on Valentine’s Day it felt so forced with him. I begged him would he send me a video of himself saying “I love you” and he did!!! It just all felt off. Then later that night. He was super cold. I asked him “what are your plans tonight??” He said “I never get time to myself, I’m always studying, doing homework or spending time with you.” 🥺 ouch!!! He said he just wanted to play video games and relax…. He continued to snap me some but I felt he didn’t really want to. He took time in between each response, leaving me to sit on my phone all night wishing things were better. He flirted some but that was it. I was in bed disappointed he chose video games over me on valentines day and at some point he never responded back!! I sat up till 3am letting tears fall as I gazed at Snapchat seeeing he still never opened my message… the thing with him is usually if he felt “sick” he would text me about it. So next morning he messaged me first goood morning and asked how I slept. I told him I waited up till 3am for him to respond!! THEN Andrew said “I didn’t sleep at all. I was up sick to my stomach all night”…. What?!! I knew he was lying. 😔 I asked him why didn’t he tell me he got sick and he said because he it was his stomach and he was embarrassed to say he was in the bathroom… haha (the man sent me nude selfies from his shower almost daily. He’s not embarrassed easily.)

I know this is a lot but I am finally at a place where I believe I experienced all of this so that I can better understand and relate to other people. All the anger and bitterness I had from both my exes was hard but gave me tough skin. All the nights and days I didn’t sleep worried if I was impressing them. They never deserved me to impress them but I can’t help but think maybe a small part of me touched their lives but maybe that’s just hopeful thinking. I hate to call them monsters, it makes me feel bad but I can’t hide the fact they hurt me soooooo deep. ❤️‍🩹🖤

(The list of things I endured from both Cody and Andrew could go on for many chapters. I chose the moments that I felt affected me the most)

You said it right!!! It’s exactly like a limb that needs healing. It’s every part of me. Years after I got away from Andrew, I started to randomly lose all the weight I couldn’t before. I lost a lot of hair too and I was so defensive in my marriage. My husband could say the littlest thing to trigger me and I instantly wanted to be so upset and hold everything inside to avoid any conflict. I hate confrontation it didn’t always go so easy with Andrew or Cody. It’s scary to wonder how my husband would react. Would he be different from those men?

I blocked Andrew’s number in 2015 and I didn’t learn about narcissism until 2022!!! That’s a long time that I searched for answers and I struggled in my marriage because I’ve kept a guard up scared to face anymore humiliation or disappointment in my life. Now that I understand a little more about what emotional abuse is, I began to feel everything and make more sense of it. I now see the light at the end of the tunnel and I’ve worked so hard on getting my hair back and getting my gut health under control. I’m spending so much time with family and I stand up for myself more!!!! I believe there is much purpose in all the suffering I faced with the narcissists. (There just has to be) I believe all of it made me a stronger person!! Do I “miss” the false faces and the love bomb phase?? It’s addicting more than it is “missing them”. I don’t know the real Andrew or Cody. Last time I tried to Google cody, I felt like he was sooo different it bothered me so much. I basically had a one-sided relationship with total strangers who hated my guts but pretended to be in love with me… they haunt me every day but I refuse to ever reach out to them and I do try to pray for them every time I feel upset about them. What else can I do?? It’s all over! They can’t change what they did to me and I can’t make them say sorry. If God doesn’t change them, they’re never going to feel empathy for the broken heart they gave me but God is showing me love I never saw ever before. So is my husband. I’m learning just now to finally trust both God and my husband!! (Taking deep breaths because I’m safe now) I’m only looking up now! I’ve already hit my rock bottom! ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 Hope this is all enlightening, encouraging and helpful! Thank you again for taking time to message me!! 🥰

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infpisme · 1 month

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#suzette boon #trauma #dissociation #narcissistic abuse #cptsd #complex trauma #road to recovery #overcoming abuse #traumatised

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trinitymarconeptune · 3 months

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𝓒𝓪𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓮 𝓪.𝓴.𝓪 𝓒𝓪𝓽𝓱𝔂, 𝓒𝓪𝓲𝓽, 𝓑𝓵𝓸𝓷𝓭𝓮 𝓒𝓪𝓽

#the sims 3 #sims 3 #ts3 #the sims #simblr #catherine hussey #her full name is catherine veronica hussey actually #she has a younger sister named stephanie whom she had a turbulent relationship but they love each other dearly and unconditionally #an abusive and unstable mother who is also a narcissist and one of the causes why catherine resorted to drugs besides of homophobia #but good for her for overcoming it so early in her lifetime #as for her dad #he left the family and divorced their mother when the girls were 4 and 6 years old respectively #and ever since he never contacted them maybe one time or two times #common occurence sadly #her life is mostly chaotic for sometime with all the addiction stuff coming to terms with her sexuality and mental health #she also manages to have something similar to a friend group #like true friends not just the people to hang out with #she also had several casual relationships with women including some of her friends #and then alice happened long story short #while alice will pursue career in clothing business #catherine will rise to work in music label or recording company #tw: homophobia mentions #tw: drug mentions

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vizthedatum · 10 months

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Overcoming codependency within yourself is a non-linear journey. You will find yourself interacting with people who you thought you could trust only to learn that you fell into your old patterns once again. You’ll avoid the red flags because you are *so good* at sweeping them under the rug. And besides, you put in all this investment and the highs feel so good when they validate you, doesn’t it?

Something I’ve been doing to help me through this journey is to keep lists of “standards” - especially partnership and sexual standards.

It’s really easy for me to let myself be taken advantage of. Or to even be in situations where I chase those who are emotionally unavailable.

Checking back on those lists on things that I either won’t compromise on (because they’ll hurt me in the long run) or things I at least want the other person to try to do for me as a form of reciprocity… has helped me narrow down the friends, lovers, and connections I want in my life.

It’s really important also to understand that if someone says one thing, you have to also see if they follow through (or try to) based on what they’ve said. Is it just a fantastical wish fulfillment… or is it real, genuine care?

(^hard for me to say this because towards the end of my relationship with my narc ex, I couldn’t do the things I fawned and agreed to (if I didn’t agree to them, there would be consequences so… I just agreed)… and then I was the one being inconsistent. Sigh. I tried so hard to do my chores, to be so agreeable, to be available… all the while my body and mind were breaking down. I was (imho) unrecognizable compared to who I am today)

#codependency #codependent no more #codependent relationships #overcoming a lifetime of narcissistic abuse #narcissistic abuse recovery #healing #trauma #love #neurodivergence #queer #harm #heartbreak #self love #prose

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boostyourintelligence · 1 year

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Inferiority Complex in Relationships : How It Affects Your Love Life?

Description: In this eye-opening video, we dive deep into the world of inferiority complex in relationships and how it can impact your love life. 😔💔 Discover the signs of an inferiority complex, the reasons behind it, and how to overcome it for a healthier, happier relationship. 💑💪 Don't let your insecurities hold you back from experiencing true love! ❤️🌟 Be sure to like, comment, and subscribe for more insightful content. 📈🔔 And don't forget to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below! 👇💬

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davenusianastronaut · 3 months

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Glamour Me Not

So yesterday, I was under a grey cloud because I had people from my past that I left behind projecting this devilish energy on me where I felt absolutely horrible.

I have left everything behind and I am now on my golden path and these people have been harassing me ever since. I grew up in a family of only narcissist and I am the black sheep so since I've awakened to who these demons were I decided to disconnect myself from them. They have been stalking me and doing all kinds of black magic towards me ever since.

The thing is I am immune to such icky energy because I vibrate too high. How do you vibrate so high that negative energy can reach you? You just have to love yourself. Believe in yourself. Put time and attention to the things that make you happy. After I gotten soul deep into the sciences of astrology, numerology, etc etc etc, I began to create my own life philosophy and build my own foundation out of steel. I am unbreakable and even when they try to psychic attack me out of no where and I have no energy, I keep projecting positive energy out no matter what. I refuse to succumb to negative energy. That is what blocks you from your dreams and who you are supposed to be.

So they little spell yesterday didnt work. I actually feel better than ever and I have them to thank!

#diary #blog #witchcraft #black magic #spiritual #how to overcome obstacles #alchemy #mysticism #esoteric #occult #journey to a new life #defeating toxicity #narcissistic abuse #femcel #female hysteria

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deepestturtlepielover · 1 year

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Depression is a silent killer painted by me

#depression is not a joke #actually autistic #mentally exhausted #i’m physically and emotionally exhausted #narcissistic abuse #emotional abuse #i’m sad but i’m going to keep my head up #keep going keep going #i can do anything #I can certainly do this I can overcome this #my art

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venniekocsis · 2 years

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Narcissist Abuse Recovery: A FREE Summit

My friend Pi Venus Winslow invited me to speak at the Trusting After Trauma, Season 4 – Beyond Codependency and Narcissistic Abuse Summit Seasons 1 through 3 of this powerful online event made a difference in the lives of thousands of people and Season 4 launches soon! I’m incredibly excited because, along with that invitation, I was offered the chance to extend to you the opportunity to join…

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daportalpractitioner · 2 months

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aries degrees in the natal chart (1°, 13°, 25°)

1° = initiator. pioneer. noob. impulsive. stepping into leadership. issues with taking action. fear. immaturity. sheltered. deemed as incapable. taking unprecedented action. changing the algorithm. nu ventures. ancestral support. struggles with discipline + following thru. craziest ideas. misunderstood. a need to self-validate your actions. curiosity with action triggers development. risk taker. passion doesn't last long. innocent. doesn't think before acting. fleeting emotions + attraction. gets bored easily.

13° = warrior innerG. struggles to get out of survival mode. selfish. wounded masculine energy. narcissism. unprocessed anger. hella opps/haters. imposter syndrome. power struggles. narcissistic parent(s). overcoming people pleasing. boundary pusher. learning to be more considerate. gets physically hurt easily. abusive relationships. anger management class. dark feminine innerG. rebel. challenges inequality. deals with people trying to shut you down. moody. intolerable. struggles with inflammation. headaches/migraines. sensitive crown chakra. identity crisis.

25° = breaking free from parents. not giving a fuck what anybody thinks. learning how to honor your sacred rage. obtaining freedom. cannot be controlled. pro manifestor. learning how to honor + respect boundaries. a need to develop a secure attachment style. a need to balance your yin/yang energy. you have to give to receive. strong relationships. lover and a fighter. makes a great leader. learn to be a confident decision maker. desires marriage. honors the importance of freedom. dealing with people tryna gaslight you. strong identity. entrepreneur vibes. gets what you want without any force. very confident. honest.

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eponastory · 2 months

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I'm gonna hash out some arguments that don't work here.

Make it make sense.

The colonizer/colonized argument was the first thing that was brought up. If that were the case, then why is Aang willing to accept and be friends with Zuko even though Sozin wiped out the Air Nomads? Why is Sokka friends with Zuko when he experienced the loss of his mother just like Katara? Like... come on, people. Make it make sense.

Then we go into the whole attraction argument... because Zutara shippers apparently don't like that Aang is shorter than Katara.

Height has nothing to do with it (hey, I dated a guy who was shorter than me, we were pretty good together). This argument relies on Katara and Zuko being the most attractive characters in the show... nope. That's not why we ship them. It's literally their personality and disposition that we like. That and Zuko let's Katara be Katara. He doesn't see her as someone who is supposed to be forgiving and at peace. That isn't in her nature either and she doesn't have to make that choice if she doesn't want to. Aang wants her to be forgiving, but that is not his choice to make.

Then, there is the whole childhood trauma argument.

Yes, they both have trauma, but guess what, they both overcome that trauma.

I'll start with Zuko, who not only had a narcissistic sociopath for a father, but had to deal with emotional and physical abuse from said parent. Ozai literally told his own son that he was lucky to be born because he was not the prodigy like Azula. Ozai played favorites (which is something we see Aang do with his kids later on), and that damages a child more than anything. In Book 1, Zuko is trying to please his father and be the heir that Ozai wants him to be. He is frustrated and angry because of this. This is something Zuko overcomes later on in Book 3 when he actually confronts Ozai. It's a really good scene where Zuko addresses the abuse from his father. This is where Zuko starts to heal from that trauma. He let's it go and does the right thing, ultimately learning he was trying to fill a mold his father made for him.

On to Katara's trauma... loss. Loss of a parent. Something that she and Zuko share. However, Zuko does get his mother back in his life (along with another little sister, and I love his relationship with Kiyi). Katara does get closure and is able to accept that killing Yon Rha is not going to bring Kya back. However, she doesn't have to forgive him. It's possible that she believes the man is already suffering for his actions. It's not the best way to deal with it, but for her it is. Katara is very maternal, which is a great aspect of her character. The reason she is like this is because she lost her mother. Her innocence was ripped from her the day Kya died. Her childhood was cut short.

Does this make trauma a facet to a toxic relationship? No. It doesn't. Because they both dealt with their trauma the way they needed to before they could truly become friends. Katara also helped Zuko come to terms with his trauma as well.

So, would Zutara actually work?

Yeah, it would because they have mutual respect for each other. Once they get past the past, they really don't have a problem with communication, boundaries, or expect to hold up an image of each other. Those are the foundation of a good relationship. It's all there. Even if it's 'just friends'.

Kataang, on the other hand... oh boy.

#how to solve your childhood trauma in five easy steps #make it make sense people #bad relationship advice from someone who only sees attraction as a baseline #zutara #katara x zuko

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cowchickenbeefpork · 9 days

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Ummm thoughts about Ed’s NPD and BPD? Interested to hear especially after reading your fic

AAAAA THANK YOU FOR READING IT!!!!! with my worldview of Ed having both I feel like his NPD is more prominent and noticeable, it's his first go-to when it comes to his defenses even if he is hiding it (aka season one, I would say he is more overt in his narcissistic vulnerability while covert in his grandiosity in that season, he flip flops around a lot in his presentation on his narcissism in the series buttttt from what I can remember he goes back and forth from hiding his grandiosity but not hiding his vulnerability to hiding his vulnerability but not his grandiosity.) his bpd came first to me, and since most people dont like those traits and he often gets maniuplated for them, he tries to repress it and focus on his narcissism. his npd also keeps him from splitting on himself more often too, both borderlines and narcissists often times see everything as either good or bad, you either are all good or your all bad, which is why treatment is often very hard for both of these groups because no one is all good or all bad. this is why narcissists try to avoid anything that shows a flaw in how they view themselves, they cannot have done a bad thing, since doing a bad thing means they are a bad person, their defenses are more stable and hard to overcome than a borderlines because of this.

i think a easy way to tell is how people with npd and people with bpd split. since npd is more so focused on the self and maintaining the ego, theres three catergories of viewing relationships instead of just two. the first one is someone to perform to, someone to get easy praise from and being able to keep your self essteem in check so you can still feel good about yourselves ( i dont think i need to state here that narcissistss dont actually love themselves, only the image they are trying to contain, this kind of splitting can also be seeing the person theyre performing for as a equal but its not really close, its more superficial ). the two other types are more devaluing, the second kind of narcisstic splitting is seeing someone as someone to inghore, someone who just does not get it and is too stupid too ever get it, the thrid one is the most simliar to borderline splitting since it sees the other as a predator, someone trying to sabotage and hurt them and trying to vitcimize them.

bpd splitting is more so focused on the other, seeing them as someone who is just perfect and you want to know everything about them and always make them happy and how they're just perfect, to them being someone being an abuser manipulator who never cared or loved them in the first place. both of these kinds of splitting are similar in structure but still different, narcissism still mostly focuses on the self while borderline focuses more on the other, narcissism as a defense mechanism is more so focused on the superficial while borderline is more focused on the personal.

when you apply this logic to how ed splits on people, then you kinda start to see this way of performing to keep his ego in check just does not apply to how he treated oswald! his attempts to please him and to help him were exteremly self sacfricial and often put his life on the line! he didnt need to do all of this for oswald to get oswald's praise and admiration, what he does for oswald is more simliar to a borderline wanting to do anything for their favorite person and showcase how much they care for them than a narcissist thinking they met an equal which brings their self essteem up! in the end of how the riddler got his name ed said he based his whole self worth on oswald, and instead of letting himself grieve normally, he tells himself he doesnt need anyone anymore and that hes fine now. the narcissism took over, it didnt even let him fully grieve. he didnt see oswald as just someone to bring his ego up like he did with kristen he didnt reduce oswald's existence to just that, oswald was the only person who ever loved or cared for him and was this amazing figure who ended up being someone who never actually loved him and was only using him in ed's eyes.

i would argue his relationship with lee was more so borderline too, she was the only person he was close to and was the only person who could take his shit during that whose collapse of his ego. he genuinely cared for her and was willing to kill himself out of paranoia he would hurt her! that is not narcissism, he did have narcissistic intentions with their relationship at the start of season four, but it changes into the codependency similarly to what he had with Oswald, only this time being a bit more one sided

That's why ed sticks to his narcissistic defenses more, because, to Ed, this is the only way you can love someone! you can only ever fully love someone if you would basically cut off your whole arm for them just to give them a gift, there are no boundaries! if he only acts selfish in his relationships then he will end up killing them like he did with Kristen too, so as a cope he pretends he doesn't want or desire close relationships during the later seasons, trying to paint himself as a cold logician just so he can have some admiration and praise and love but only from a distance since he knows if he gives too much, something like what happened with Oswald might happen again, and if he takes too much, something like what happened with Kristen might happen again. an Oswald will lead him into being weak and dumb, and a Kristen will lead him into being a monster who only exists to leech off and hurt others. if he just doesn't date then he can never experience either event again and can brush them off like they say nothing about him.

IDK if this whole thread makes any lick of sense, I don't think he was being borderline with Kristen but I do think he realized she was a real person with her own beliefs and opinions only after he killed her, which caused him to panic and repress any guilt or grief he had for the incident and convince himself it was no one's fault and was just destined to happen. Edward is terrible at accepting he did something awful or has emotions and needs, so he represses whatever he feels that conflicts with the image he has of himself and thinks that will be his permanent solution when it always fails him after a few months. he basically ignores and represses his borderline until he finds someone who seems like they are amazing to him which is just. kinda explodes all over the place I AM SO SORRY THAT HIS WHOLE EXPLANATION SUCKS ASS I HOPE I MADE MYSELF CLEAR ASK QUESTIONS IF I WAS UNCLEAR!!!!

#nygmobblepot #gotham #gotham fox #edward nygma #gotham 2014 #oswald cobblepot #character study #asks #asks open

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ruminate88 · 4 months

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On Your Journey:

Expect to fail. Expect obstacles and difficulties. People will see life differently than you. Not everyone is raised the same way or has the same story as you. People you love can hurt you and YOU can also hurt them. You should try to learn and grow everyday. Not everyone will be on your side or support you!! You aren’t gonna be perfect and you’ll mess up a lot but don’t give up ❤️‍🩹👍🏻 You’re not alone!! People may see me sharing my story as a “poor me victim” account and all I got to say is, I miss my exes and I wish things were different for sure but I can’t change them or the past. I can only talk about what I experienced and what I learned from it.(I know there is so much more to learn)

IF MY ACCOUNT TRIGGERS YOU, maybe you do see what the emotional abuse can do to someone and maybe you don’t like it and you want it to change 🙏🏻 I can say I’ve changed a lot since I dated my exes and I can also admit not everything was their fault because I too participated in the relationships BUT I can’t change any of it. I’m trying to work on myself every day and forgive them PLUS forgive me too. It’s not been easy but it’s going. Being patient in the process is rough hah I can work with people who can work with me 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 That’s all! 🥺🥰

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infpisme · 1 year

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#sara hackley #dissociation #survival mode #narcissistic abuse #narcissist #life struggles #cptsd #traumatised #trauma #overcoming trauma #complex trauma

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adhbabey · 1 year

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True crime has literally ruined people's ability to empathize, sympathize with and humanize mentally ill people.

Because of true crime, people see all mentally ill people as potentially dangerous criminals and that's a really bad, shitty thing actually.

I don't know who needs to hear this but there's no such thing as "psychopaths" or "psychopathy", it's something criminal psychologists made up to put mentally ill people in jail. There is no diagnosable disorder as "psychopathy". YOU NEED TO HEAR THIS. And before anyone tries to refute this, those with ASPD and those with psychosis are not "psychopaths". Psychopathy is made up by cops to put people in jail.

I'll go even further, if you assume people with personality disorders or other stigmatized disorders as dangerous or abusive, you're a bad person. Narcissistic abuse isn't a thing, it's called emotional abuse. I'm saying this as someone who's parent who DOESN'T have NPD, but the way they abused us is identical to the way "narc abuse" happens. "Narc abuse" is a made up term to scapegoat a group of mentally ill people. You should understand that is bad.

I have DID, and I cannot tell you enough that there's no such thing as an "evil alter". All people with DID have trauma and those "evil alter"s are literally traumatized parts who struggle to cope with it. They feel threatened by everyone and therefore sabotage or harm to keep us protected. It may not be healthy, but you are lucky to not have gone through that. Don't demonize people with DID, you have no idea what you're talking about.

Those who have delusions and hallucinations are literally more likely to be gaslit and abused than they are to act "dangerously". I'm sorry, have you met people who are scared act dangerously before? No shit. You would act that way too if you were plagued with horrible illusions that you had to face everyday. Step into their shoes, understand what they go through, it's not your room to judge. Even if they weren't scared, even if they could cope with them better, at least they were given room to cope. All you do is shame people for existing.

And as for other personality disorders, they're just normal people living lives where they have to deal with debilitating mental illness. The least you can do is be more compassionate for their situation and understand that they're human too.

True crime and the craze around criminal psychology has literally deteriorated people's capacity to be kind towards disabled and mentally ill people. If you can't look at a person with a personality disorder or another stigmatized disorder without disgust and shame, then you need to overcome internalized ableism. Everyone is capable of bad things, mentally ill or not.

You need to stop pathologizing criminal behavior. (not every bad person you see is mentally ill/disabled).

#babey posts #true crime #criminal psychology #criminal psychology is bad actually #ableism #copaganda #important #please reblog but don't clown

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roxannepolice · 8 months

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So I was thinking of the answer for one of the ask games (which is coming!) but soon realised my reflections are both too long and slightly too salty to include in a fun ask, so here we are.

Because yeah what is below is hands down my favourite Delgado!Master quote, and one of my favourites from any regenerations. Hell, it may be one of my favourites in the entire show.

Gifs by cleowho and I'm sorry I ended up including them this way but I gave up trying to find the exact moment via gif searcher when my phone started smelling of burnt plastic.

So why do I love this so much and why should this result in saltiness? Because this is a very clear statement: there's actual philosophical outlook on the universe behind the Master's villainy. A deeply nietzschean one, but ironically enough underlying much of contemporary critical theories, usually of the progressive vibe. The Master apparently sees power relations as the inherent, fundamental aspect of all sentient relations, and acts accordingly, doing onto others before they do onto them (And that [a self-defence in advance] is how the Master started). And I don't even see it as a neurotic reaction to direct abuse! No, this is something much more intellectual, frozen and abstract. The salt lies therein that there is nothing "just..." to the outlook the Master presents here. Those aren't daddy issues, or the drums (which I love and think can be reconciled with classic Who canon with a bit of timey wimey cause and effect grandfather paradox shenanigans, but fundamentally don't see as the source of Master's villainy, unless they are a metaphor of permanent unsatisfaction and indeed neurotic need for more which is on the one hand awfully difficult for one and everyone around them but on the other perhaps underlie everything you are and you don't know what you'd be without it but you actually like at least a bit of what you are and this is very narcissistic and yes I have OCD), or getaway of insanity, there is no cheap psychologizing, no never heard the music, no Doctor complex that just needs to be talked through, only actual outlook presumably built on decades if not centuries of experience. That is not to say those psychological elements aren't essential to the Master's choices, just that there is no simple obstacle to overcome, no freudian complex to solve for them to see the light. This is something much more conscious.

And I can't express how fitting it is that this nietzscheanism should be the "dark twin" of the Doctor's philosophy of fixing everything they can - in its extreme taking on the form of prometheanism. Frankly, probably the reason Thoschei gives me such a brainrot is the idea of two people with very similar backgrounds (compare and contrast with Professor X and Magneto's backgrounds) arriving at universal outlooks that are at the same time so morally opposing yet in a way fundamentally similar. Because is not overcoming all possible pains of the universe an expression of will?

And the best part? The Doctor does not refute the Master's philosophy! He rejects it morally, but does not point to any single fallacy, does not overthrow it intellectually! And then...

... And then there's the reason I see Tensimm as Goethe's Faust to Threegado Marlowe's (that is not in terms of one being superior or sth only one being a logical development and discussion with the other). At a first glance, Ten is simply repeating what Three said all those episodes ago. But there's more, and there's no way I'm risking my phone again, so a quote will have to suffice.

To have the privilege of seeing the whole of time and space. That's ownership enough.

Ownership. As in having discretion to dispose of something as pleased? As in a very simple power relation?

Like. Wow. This here is indeed a Prometheus whose desire to make people better and literal knowledge of all possible pasts and futures pushed him to call some people more important than others and superimpose his will and knowledge of good and evil disregarding anyone else's choices. This here is indeed the Time Lord Victorious. And yes, knowing when to stop was much easier when there was an external shadow to judge.

The thing is, the Doctor here concedes to the Master's outlook on the universe. Indeed, power relations are unavoidable in sentient life. This is a moment of deep understanding between them because the Doctor now knows what it feels like to wield all that knowledge and perceive no powers saying no. Except, regardless of what poststructuralism might say, there is a fundamental moral difference between power imbalance of seeing vs being seen and y'know, forcing people to build you statues and conquering all other civivlizations and humiliating them in the process. As such, the difference becomes much harder to delineate, forcing one to always reflect instead of following a set of simple guidelines.

The question is, would it still be remembered if the walking counterpoint ceased to exist not physically but intellectually and morally?

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