#not that that has made its way into the scene yet lol sob

[redjayson]

me: this is fine, I’ll just write a very stressful medical scene for this chapter and plan out some of the ways it’s going to get a bit worse before getting better. being in the doctor’s pov is perfect for this. also why yes I did just drink a big cup of coffee

also me: well now I’m stressed as hell

#I did RESEARCH for this #not that that has made its way into the scene yet lol sob #I’m so glad I am not at all a doctor irl #just writing about it is bad enough #hope ppl enjoy this when we get there #fic: second-hand alibis #julia writes

[makeste]

BnHA Volume 35 - A Brief Reaction Journey

hello! so as mentioned in my last post, I’ve started catching up with the BnHA manga again FINALLY after almost two years, and have made it through a fair number of chapters so far! and since I’m not sure how long it will take me to actually post the corresponding liveblogs, I figured I’d make a couple of posts in the meantime to sort of preview my reaction journey thus far with some good old-fashioned OUT-OF-CONTEXT BULLET POINTS taken from my ramblings. originally I was going to make a single post for all 25 chapters I’ve read so far (up to 367), but I quickly realized that was waaaaay too ambitious lol. so for now it’s just this one, and I’ll put up the vol. 36 post probably tomorrow afternoon.

spoiler warning: just fyi, this post will obviously feature spoilers for chapters 342-350*, BUT it will also include some stray spoilers from chapters 362 and 403 as well, so just a heads up for that if you aren’t fully caught up!

*chapters 340 and 341 are not included because I've already posted full reaction posts for each one here and here, respectively.

Chapter 342

Endeavor being taller than Jeanist just feels so WRONG to me regardless of whether or not it is factually accurate. does this mean All Might is also taller than Jeanist?? I don’t want to live in a world where Best Jeanist has secretly been a perfectly normal sized person this entire time. someone please lie to me and tell me that he is tall

many thanks to Kacchan for inserting this small bit of levity into this scene which was otherwise well on its way to sending me into a SPIRAL OF FEELINGS, and in fact still is whenever I look at that panel of Deku with Eri and Kouta, and also that GODDAMN HUG WHERE HE AND INKO ARE BOTH CLEARLY AND PAINFULLY AWARE THAT THEY MIGHT NEVER SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN, AND IN THAT MOMENT THEY’RE JUST TRYING TO HOLD THE OTHER AS TIGHTLY AS PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE, AND SHE’S PRAYING TO WHATEVER DEITY IS OUT THERE THAT HE’LL COME BACK SAFE AND WHOLE, AND HE’S PRAYING THAT HIS MOM WILL BE ALL RIGHT EVEN IF HE DOESN’T COME BACK, AND NOT ALLOWING HIMSELF TO THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH HE ALREADY MISSES HER, BECAUSE HE CAN’T THINK LIKE THAT ANY MORE, BECAUSE THIS BOY IS FULLY GROWN NOW BECAUSE HE HAD TO BE, BECAUSE HE HAD NO CHOICE, AND I’M BOTH SO PROUD AND SO FUCKING SAD ABOUT IT AND I JUST NEED A MINUTE HERE ACTUALLY, OKAY!! OR FIVE MINUTES!!

LMAO WHAT AN AUSPICIOUS AND NOT-AT-ALL OMINOUSLY FOREBODING NAME. “hmmm what should we name our new class 1-A fortress?” “hmm well I was thinking maybe Troy, after the legendary city with the famously impenetrable walls, which to the best of my knowledge were never breached, or at least that’s what I assume since I never finished reading The Iliad! :) :) :) ...wait, why are you all looking at me like that. they didn’t actually breach them, right? guys? what happened to Troy? GUYS?”

I’m actually so proud of Deku because he’s come such a long way from the days when the mere CONCEPT of even TALKING to a girl was enough to floor him lol. but also I’m legit cracking up at he way he tried to segue into random small talk in the middle of the goddamn apocalypse. gotta be smooth about it!! casual!! you can tell how casual they are because both of them are suddenly struck by the inexplicable urge to fuss with their hair!!

Horikoshi really said “FUCK YOUR SQUADS!! ...but if we had a Todosquad this is who would be in it I guess”

my god. between this and the OchaDeku conversation the villains truly do not stand a chance do they? and they don’t even know how screwed they are yet. REDEMPTION IS COMING!! IT’S KNOCKING ON THE DOOR, TRICK OR TREAT, Y’ALL READY FOR THIS

Chapter 343

so we’re opening with everyone’s favorite Guy With An Old Wad Of Chewing Gum For A Face, AFO!

did this son of a bitch kill Nao’s dad and steal his sexy lie-detector quirk??

sob AFO is all “can I have your son’s cell phone number please” and they’re all “SURE”

bonsoir little Yuuga

do. ...do you not actually know. was this meeting not prearranged. “why are you here Aoyama?” “why are you here, Deku?” truly, why are any of us here??

I’m sitting here trying to play the “guess which parts of this dialogue are real vs fake” game and coming up completely stumped on every single sentence

so Yuuga’s all “can you believe that even though the city of Musutafu is basically down to just U.A., a Dollar Tree, a couple of crumbling park benches, and one very determined Starbucks, we somehow still have functioning courts and lawyers?” I actually can’t believe that at all tbh. you’re telling me “it’s the fucking apocalypse” is still not a good enough excuse to get out of jury duty

damn, Aoyama out here with the trash talk and the ON YOUR LEFT?!

MONOMA??!?!?!?!

Chapter 344

“Eraser’s” plan, indeed. you dare say that right to Kaminari’s face

SHINSOU!!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?

HEYA YOURSELF YOU HANDSOME KNAVE!! LOOK AT YOU!! fucking loving the costume my dude! pretty please tell us your hero name to go along with it. is it MindCraft. I think your hero name should be MindCraft. don’t look at me like that Shinsou we need more punny hero names in the world

“yes well you see, I couldn’t do it, so I learned how to do it.” great story Shinsou

the way he’s rubbing the back of his neck there. are we gonna get some real Monoma character development at long last. feels like it’s long overdue and I am thrilled. he’s such a great character and I feel like we’ve only barely scratched the surface of who he actually is as a person and as a hero

THE UNEXPECTED VLAD KING MENTORSHIP WITH THE ARM AROUND THE SHOULDERS?? he really needed that support. outwardly he’s always made a big show of wanting his turn in the spotlight and begrudging class A for stealing the scene at every turn. but how much of that is really just an act. some of it? most of it? maybe even close to all of it? because right now he suddenly seems so small and young here and really wishing he wasn’t in this unenviable position of being one of the many World’s Last Hopes who are all way too fucking young

did Mirko’s giant robot hand just grow into an EVEN GIANTER giant robot hand??

long beautiful flowing mermaid hair. sorry what was I saying I kind of spaced out there for a sec

YES, AFO, ALL OF THIS TO SPLIT YOU UP YOU STUPID MUSH HEAD. MAYBE IF YOU EVER ACTUALLY FINISHED A MANGA IN YOUR GODDAMN LIFE YOU’D KNOW HOW A FINAL BATTLE IS SUPPOSED TO BE CONSTRUCTED. YOU MOLDY AVOCADO

Chapter 345

“no you don’t understand, we have so many sixteen-year-olds whose coattails we’re all hanging onto. we have sixteen-year-olds who can take over people’s minds. sixteen-year-olds who can create portals to warp you halfway around the world in an instant. and let’s not forget the sixteen-year-olds who can act their damn asses off. we have the best sixteen-year-olds in the world. our sixteen-year-olds are so much better than yours you fucking losers”

Deku I swear. if I’m about to discover that the reason you weren’t there to stop Kacchan from being literally, actually, canonically murdered is because your distracted ass got yoinked into the void by some no-name villain chucklefuck, I’m gonna...

don’t listen to him Aoyama you were magnificent. you were my favorite in all of the stage plays

BUT IS PHASE TWO SUPPOSED TO INVOLVE DEKU IN ANY WAY THOUGH??? HELLO??? IS ANYONE LISTENING TO ME??? I’M FROM THE FUTURE AND THIS IS URGENT, PLEASE

“I fucked up Ochako, I fucked up so bad” omfg Deku

she doesn’t want to hurt you Deku she just wants to shower you in love. in her own special way. by stabbing you a lot

anyway have fun on this... tropical island??? I guess?? Kacchan will just have to hold down the fort in the meantime. which I’m sure will go absolutely fine

Chapter 346

“th-th-this is really bad, right?” yes Tamaki, yes it is. you’re stuck here on the Super Mega Ultra Radical Gnarly Cracked-Out Wonder Stage with Shigaraki Fucking Tomura and at least two of you are about to die and I’M NOT OKAY

so now we’re also getting this hilarious insight into the inner workings of the Mega Ultra Tremendous Stupendous Incredible Sky Coffin and it is truly, truly phenomenal

Horikoshi stop taking my sarcastic jibes and owning them completely challenge!! all the best sixteen-year-olds. all the finest greatest Hyper Ultra Sparkle Glimmer Wonder Battle Stages

this is genuinely one of the boldest lampshading efforts I have ever seen in fiction you guys

“yes, we acknowledge that this does indeed seem impossible to have pulled off, BUT have you considered that, fucking quirks though???? AND THAT THEY ARE, AS THE KIDS SAY, WILD??”

Chapter 347

lmao they’re shouting at Monoma accusingly and he’s all “I’M HAVEN’T BLINKED AT ALL YOU GUYS I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU”

don’t mind him, he’s just out here growing out his hideously malformed hands and fingers endlessly from every part of his body, normally, as one does. nothing quirk-related about it. anyone could do this if they simply exercise and maintain a balanced diet. this 100% is not a quirk y’all it’s just essential oils

SUDDEN MONOMA FEELS DELIVERED TO MY DOORSTEP???

awwww. the way he’s almost panicked, frantically wondering if he somehow fucked the quirk up and desperate for Aizawa to believe him that he’s trying his best. and Aizawa quick to reassure him. this kid is so desperate for approval. and unapologetically careening his way onto my top ten character list, welcome dear boy

so that’s that. see you in two years Deku. his last words spoken out loud to Kacchan were, and I quote, “wha --”

Aizawa is so hopelessly impossibly hot at all times and I don’t know how the universe can handle his existence. he’s even doing it without activating his quirk now. no ponytails or anything. just an eyepatch and a dream

don’t mind me, I’m just out here doing literal algebra to figure out how long it would take Deku to get back here if he traveled at the same speed as All Might did in chapter 90 (30 seconds per 5km, apparently). about 20 minutes, give or take. well shit. hopefully he’s a little faster than Kamino-era All Might was, especially since he can fly and has that Fa Jin shit too. or maybe Rody can fly him lmao. or S&S’s hot fighter pilot boyfriend

“what’d Sensei say, Deku?” “he said no, looks like I gotta uber. can I borrow your credit card, I promise I will venmo you back”

unfortunately for Deku he does not realize he’s accidentally gotten himself caught up in what will undoubtedly end up being the most erotic and bisexual of the various final battles

can’t believe Deku has like 6 love interests and out of all of them, Toga is the first one who actually asks him out. good for you girl. gotta shoot your shot

Chapter 348

FELLAS IS IT GAY TO BREAK OUT INTO TERRIFIED BEN DAY DOTS BECAUSE A GIRL EXPRESSED HER CARNAL INTEREST IN YOU????

anyway so since Deku apparently doesn’t understand how romance works either, he’s trying his best to give an actual response by recontextualizing all of this in terms of the one big thing he does understand: All Might

you’re telling me you never wanted to stab All Might to death and then turn into him?? wow I just can’t believe it

but also... okay lol. so I was thinking about this sarcastically, but was then struck by the very unironic thought that there sorta kinda is someone whom Deku does, both consciously and subconsciously, try to be like, and who he also kinda does apparently share the same heart and mind as. at least if chapter 403 is anything to go by lol. soooooooo. huh

god damn it Toga. absolutely none of what you’ve said or done here has been even the SLIGHTEST BIT reasonable. you can’t just tell someone you want to stab them and be their girlfriend. and if and when they try to let you down easy by responding with the MOST THOUGHTFUL AND GENTLE REJECTION ANYONE COULD EVER POSSIBLY MAKE UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES, because they’re actually the WORLD’S NICEST MAN, you can’t just respond by doing whatever it is you’re presumably about to do, which I’m guessing is gonna be really violent and unhinged

so Ochako is all “ever since we fought last time I’ve been thinking about you a lot!” and Toga is all “are you serious, YOU broke up with ME bitch” and now she’s standing behind her with a knife

“she’s the least predictable of our opponents” YEAH NO KIDDING LOL

“everyone knows that Toga is actually Ochako’s villain, like ffs Deku you haven’t even interacted with her since the Provisional Exam arc.” Deku they’re 100% right and you’re looking more and more the fool with each passing second

well all right lol. twenty minutes to get back to Musutafu. let’s just hope he doesn’t run into any traffic on the way

Chapter 349

what the fuck is OFA Dos’s quirk exactly and are we ever gonna get to it before I literally die of old age. at this point there’s gotta be a reason why he’s not using it, right?? so what’s the deal there? does he still somehow not know how? is it too dangerous? and I really need to know why II has the Bakugou gauntlets. tell me this isn’t one of the things we’re still waiting on answers for two years down the line because I swear to god I will cry

anyway so Deku’s saying he’s doing his best but he’s still “too slow”. WELL THEN MAYBE IT’S THAT TIME?? DEKU?? WHAT DO YOU SAY

NO FUCKING WAY LOL, CAN IT REALLY BE THAT EASY??!

OH WHAT THE FUCK, FUCK YOU NOT!CCHAN LOL YOU’RE JUST HERE TO COCKBLOCK HIM?

fuck. so has he used it since then?? is he gonna use it finally now that Kacchan’s alive and well again?? oh my god I need to shut up and stop asking questions and just keep reading. fuck

wow so Dabi’s literally just burning the All Might statue while he stalls for time trying to figure out how to beat his OP little brother who was literally engineered to be better than him sob. out of all the villains he’s probably the most screwed right now isn’t he

starting to get an inkling Dabi’s not happy that he doesn’t actually get to fight Endeavor. getting some subtle hints here and there that he might actually be upset about that

apparently wanting to fight Dabi and stop him from helping to destroy the world makes Shouto a pawn. wake up Shouto. stop being such a sheep, Shouto. can’t you see that saving the world is exactly what Endeavor wants you to do???!

this is just going to be seventeen chapters of Dabi talking about nonsense while they both stand around progressively getting hotter both literally and metaphorically isn’t it

Chapter 350

OH SNAP. [SLAMS HAND ON TABLE] HERE WE GO. IT’S FINALLY THAT TIME

well, well, well. to the surprise of absolutely no one. the real one who was responsible for everything this whole time

but I just have to pause real quick before we continue. because it absolutely cannot be a coincidence that AFO just happened to be there once again. just waiting in the shadows to magically swoop in the minute disaster strikes. and so, just like with baby Tenko, this immediately makes me suspect that Touya burning himself alive was not in fact a training accident at all. which is something I did not expect, and which, just. fuck, fuck, FUCK AFO. fuck this guy.

looks like the children's ward of a hospital?? wait, what??

how the fuck is he still so adorable. when exactly did the transition take place between adorable and sexily unhinged. right now Todoroki Touya still looks to be the absolute most adorable child on the planet

I miscalculated. I was not emotionally prepared to handle this chapter right now. I should not have clicked

really love to see that Touya didn’t just cave right away. wouldn’t have felt right, ngl. just doesn’t fit in with what we know about his character

oh shit wait we’re cutting back to Dabi talking to Shouto and he says he did come back home??

fucking why. goddammit what the hell. why is this the saddest fucking thing I’ve ever read. LOVE HIM!! SOMEONE!! ANYONE!! just love him, please. literally all he has ever wanted!!

JESUS. I HATE THIS. I am so upset right now. out of all of the horrific and traumatic and terrible, awful things that have happened to BnHA characters in their flashbacks, the thing that hits me the most out of all of them is this one image of a sixteen-year-old boy standing before an altar, with his family very much alive and standing RIGHT FUCKING THERE IN THE NEXT ROOM, and yet somehow feeling more alone than he’s ever been. so alone he literally gives up all hope in this one moment. my god I feel all of it and it’s so fucking devastating I keep having to stop typing so I don’t completely break down sobbing

well damn. after a rush of 15 and 13-page chapters, which were all admittedly appreciated by me in my race to catch up to Light Fades to Rain before this coming Friday, Horikoshi finishes up the volume with one hell of a 17 page finale. once again the Tododrama delivers. this was fucking phenomenal

#bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha vol. 35 #way too many characters to tag so I am not gonna bother! #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #lotta 'calm before the storm' chapters in this one #also I was kinda disappointed by the cover of this volume ngl #but at least monoma and shinsou got their little moment on the back #vol. 36 post should be up tomorrow #vol. 37 post to follow once I finish the rest of those chapters #and then I'll start posting the actual recaps again probably in a couple of weeks or so #once I finish catching up

[just-a-carrot]

I am apparently back once again to say more on miscellaneous thoughts that I haven't said yet!

Just wanted to say that I loved how you handled Genzou's disability, given I've seen many depictions that just, handle it a little ham-handedly. It's not treated a life-ruining, but it's undoubtably a reality that he does need to live with (and be helped by others, if he would accept that).

I also liked how its never used to wave away the things he's done (seen too many where a character having cruel things happen to them suddenly used to excuse away them acting in cruel ways) but this is a praise I can use on all the characters and their situations.

I think Arc 4 was where I felt this the most, with the bouncy house situation. Somehow, THAT felt like a dreadful moment. Iggy dragging him along, and then TAKING AWAY THE CANE (Iggy! Iggy! Listen to him!) made my heart clench about as much as some horror moments, especially knowing Genzou was going to turn right around and take it out on the one person who didn't deserve it (Orlam). Just another great facet in feeling things getting increasingly worse, *chef's kiss*.

I will probably be back with more ramblings cause this story evidently hollowed out a nest in my brain, but just wanted to leave this here with all my adoration!

ahhhhh i'm glad! that's incredibly kind of you to say 😭💕

sob the bouncy castle... i can only imagine how intense and overwhelming that whole scene would be... yes, iggy... 😔

"a character having cruel things happen to them suddenly used to excuse away them acting in cruel ways" -> yeah i really tried to keep it from progressing to that for all of the chars lol like every char in the game has had cruel things happen to them and inflict cruel things themselves and i never want any one of them to be more "right" in any of their actions than any of the others

thank you for your ramblings, i always love hearing people reflect on the characters and scenes 🥺

#ask: ow #ask: genzou

[randomnameless]

i know you said hopes had negative character development for the cast, but who do you think is better in hopes than in houses?

Better like in better writing, or better as in I appreciate them more?

Without a doubt, I'd say Felix and Sylvain who are better in Nopes than their FE16 versions, and in a way... Rhea herself, thanks to having more screentime when she isn't PTSD'ing lol

Call it chauvinism, but Sylvain in Nopes was scrubbed out of everything that made him... unlikable/feel flat in Houses.

His sob story about people only wanting to fuck him for his title/crest really felt... straight out ripped from some High School AU, with John McChad acting like an ass because the only girls who want to date him are interested in his situation as a heir of his dad's big company, and not because they love him. Yay. Great. Perfectly what I'm looking for in my medieval fantasy game where you whack people with swords.

Add to that the focus on crusts being the supposedly only reason why people are lusting over him - and not because, hey, you're a member of one of the most important noble houses in the Kingdom - to play in the general "crust bad" orchestra that can lead on the Supreme path, and the fact it's never ever adressed, and we have... this, which completely, to me, hides the other parts of Sylvain's character - like being someone who thinks outside of the box and resolves to lessen the reliance on his relic to defend the border by... creating a situation where they'll be no tension at the border, aka, a peace with Sreng.

Now, Sylvain works so well in Nopes partly because all of his "wah ladies only want my penis because i'm rich :'( " is erased, so we see a character who takes his duties as the heir of Gautier seriously, assists his Lord and friends and bring "new ideas" to help everyone. Sylvain, under his frivolous appearance and behavior, actually thinks and learns and suggests a lot of things that are quite useful, a bit like a "what if Sain wasn't only interested in courtship, but was raised as a future lord and had insight and suggestions on what to do". So sure, it's not as quirky and memorable as John McChad's sophomore year of school, but it fits better, imo, in the FE series.

As for Felix, well, it's more or less the same, his entire "duh boar bad chivalry bad and stupid - but wait no don't die and i'm sorry to have hit you dad i liked you but I was too busy playing the tsundere that I never got to say it to you before you died" schtick felt... old and annoying in FE16.

Sure, Felix can have his own, personal feelings about Dimitri being a hidden boar, but Felix is also the only heir of Rodrigue, and will become the next Duke Fraldarius, aka the second most important person in the Kingdom after the King himself, and the one tasked to protect it. Should Felix completely ignore his feelings and do what is expected of him, or take his role seriously? No, and Nopes has him give some "boar this, boar that", but Felix isn't a petulant 16 years old who wants to be "edgy" anymore, Felix is the next Duke - something he never shied away from, especially in his FE16 paralogue! - and has to start learning the job, thinking about Faerghus in something else than small jabs thrown at Dimitri and how to protect its people and second the King.

Heck, Felix's support in Nopes with Dimitri where Dimitri confesses about the ghosts, where Felix tries to carry him, the more or less cutscene where the general feeling is him saying to Dimitri he can count and rely on them... Given how FE16's Felix was written, even in AM, I can't see it happen before Rodrigue's death... and yet, in AG, Rodrigue is still alive (his optional death doesn't change those scenes), so when FE16's Felix realises there were more important things to do to help both his friend and country and dad but he only noticed it too late because he was too busy... being edgy, Nopes has him drop the edgy act (not completely drop it though, else it wouldn't be Felix anymore!) and act (lel) as his FE16 self, but only, without needing his dad to die first.

As for Rhea...

Having more screentime seriously helps, just like being allowed to talk about non plot relevant things with someone else than Billy or about Billy, I gushed a lot about the Nabatean paralogue, but it depicts her relaxing with her family (pissing on the "u r the only person i can talk to myself not the archbishop" pandering shit from FE16 even if FEH pissed on it first) and making tiny baby steps at apologising and confessing part of her guilt (for something completely stupid like Seiros the Warrior "borrowing" Cichol's shield to gift it to Willy!) to a member of her family.

Would that mean she would have confessed about the rez Sothis plan to Seteth earlier on? I... don't know, don't think so, and we don't have enough interactions between the two.

Compared to FE16 where she is an oyster until Billy turns green and Seteth nags her again and again and again, here she willingly makes the first step to apologise... sure, it's for something silly and not, resurrecting their mother, but it feels like a small progression (tiny baby steps) from FE16 where she has to be reveal stuff due to forced circumstances.

I also like how it sort of teases (or maybe that's just me lol) Seteth realising that Rhea still misses days long past to an unhealthy degree (tfw too much nostalgia), or just, having to remind her twice that those days are gone. Would he later realise her strange nostalgia hides something more deep, and ultimately her wish to "return" to those days by resurrecting Sothis?

idk, it's fuel for HCs and AUs, but for what it's worth, this paralogue and Nopes in general help flesh out Rhea more than what FE16 does, aka tying 80% of her mentions/appearances to Billy and Sothis.

(hell, in Nopes, she finally has lines with Flayn!)

#anon #replies #3 nopes #i confess i recently read fanfics about Faerghus and I'm just wondering why FE16 leaned so hard on the high school AU tropes #when written seriously and in the context we're only told about but never shown in game #those characters shine more? #Rhea is her own category lol #the Julia tier #when the plot drops the pandering she can finally interact with her network and acquaintances #in FE4 the pandering is towards Seliph #like seriously you want me to believe no one from Tine to the Jobros to Altena never heard about the Imperial Twins and Julius's sister? #Especially Tine who's supposed to be close to Ishtar? #but that plot point is completely dropped so Julia is just a waif with amnesia who befriends Seliph and Lana apparently #in this paralogue Rhea can finally talk to Flayn and Seteth for something else than plot related stuff #heck in her battle lines when you use her they all seem to be close Rhea even plays with Flayn #that's not the kind of stuff we could have had in FE16 bcs alone b4 u

[isleofdarkness]

That snippet was AMAZING, I love it when you make long posts. Don't know why I didn't write this earlier.

“what she remembers is being trapped in a tiny closet without any light, having lost the instinct to cry because it did nothing. [...] Some of the most comforting memories she has are Mari's voice speaking to her through the door, a child trying to comfort a baby. Andi doesn't remember most of the words, but she remembers the feeling of calm and safety that would wash over her the second she heard that voice.” How dare you start this with such a wonderful paragraph? The fact she thinks of it as "some of the most comforting memories she has" is the saddest fucking thing if you think about it because SHE WAS A BABY. SHE WAS LOCKED IN A CLOSET. She can't even remember Mari's words, probably because she wasn't old enough to register and understand them. Yet is the closest thing she has had to comfort in. Her. Entire. Life. Excuse me, I'm gonna go cry in a corner.

“After a while, Andi was content to stay there. As long as she and Marionette were safe and they had each other.” Crying. Sobbing. She just wanted to be with her sister. She didn't care about anything else. The biggest fuck you to Maleficent.

I love how she chose her name to match Mari's.

That horror story was awesome, dude. You, once again, proving you're an excellent writer.

Mari is the best, she reads about Lovecraftian "horrible in ways far beyond the mortal comprehension, whose little human minds would go into the most horrific madness if they were to witness even the tiniest amount of it" horror and says "I wish that happened to my dad, lol".

How do you come up with such cool powers AND such cool ways to use those powers.

“She froze, or at least she thinks she did. She doesn't know that Marionette was using her telepathy to force her to stay hidden until she was out of range, meaning Maleficent would be super far away. All Andromeda knows is that she froze and watched her sister get beaten and kidnapped by Maleficent and, instead of helping, she just froze so severely that she was still frozen for ten minutes like a fucking idiot instead of helping the sister who had sacrificed so much for her.” I was reading this last night in my living room beside my dad and I had to go to the bathroom to keep going 'cause I was about to cry, Andromeda's desperation, impotence and guilt are conveyed so fucking well.

“She tried to find Marionette, but she didn't understand as much about the Isle.” Is so sad to think how Andi didn't comprehend anything that was happening around her, is horrible the isolation this girl had to go through. There were so many things she didn't understand, so many things she didn't know. She was just a confused little girl trying to stay alive.

Also, the Andi and Ace scene is soooo. I already cried to this and re-reading it and writing this is making me emotional again. Fuck.

I'm just going to quote the parts that especially tore my heart apart because nothing I could say could make them justice.

“The words she used, the blame she put on it for its own suffering, were so horrific they made her want to rip her own tongue out, but she didn't stop. She just couldn't stop. She needed it to kill her.”

“Ace knew the game she was clearly playing. Knew it- hell, it invented the game.”

“It reminded Ace of Rose's desperation every time she shrieked the most horrible things at their mother to try and redirect her anger from it to Rose. The way her voice got higher and high and she repeated things, trying to make her words even nastier when she had run out of things to say.”

“The horror hidden so deep in her eyes that only the tiniest spark could be seen, a spark Ace had learned was the tip of the iceberg of how much she hated herself for the words coming out of her mouth.”

Rose adopts the dogs that bite and I love her for that. You can really tell she likes wasps (and identifies with them).

I love the Hearts dynamic so so much. The way they make sure Andi knows what happened to her sister wasn't her fault and that Mari doesn't hate her for not being able to do anything. Andi deserves all the support and love in the world.

Once again, really, truly, the biggest fuck you to Maleficent.

Please tell me Queenie and King aren't actually dead. Man, I was already signing the adoption papers ;(

Ace's monologue was the best thing ever, Maleficent deserves to be bullied for her micro dick energy and loser behavior.

I hope you feel better soon and that your managers stop being such idiots. Amazing writing, as always.

To be honest, my day yesterday only got better the longer I was awake. However, the fact that I woke up at three am only to roll over in bed and dealt with the terror of how severe the sprain the movement caused looked meant the bar was on the ground. I'm not even that mad about the manager, I think she's dumb. She had to take issue with the pettiest bitch in McDonald's

She remembers Mari's voice from those years in the same way most small children remember their mothers. That was the only interaction she got, and it was the only love she got. The voice through the door, even though she could never see or touch the owner, was what kept her sane. The day that door unlocked and she got to hug her sister for the very first time is one of the best days of her life. The first face she ever saw in this world was Mari's, and she still remembers exactly how that felt.

She would have been perfectly content to chill in the woods, living in a cave, as long as it meant she got to live with her sister. That was all she wanted in life, to be near her sister. The bar was on the floor and fate dug under it. She expected nothing and still she was let down.

Mari will never admit it but she cried. She saw how Andi lit up and heard how excited she was when she said "I can go by Andi, and we'll match!" and that was one of the best moments of her life. Andi was so thrilled.

Thank you. That part of the snippet I barely remember writing. I think I got possessed or something/j

Every time he pissed her off she would just imagine him getting eaten by Azazoth or something and that made her feel better. Go big or go home, I guess.

It's the scientist in me. I love testing the limits- photokinesis should, in theory, be able to manipulate colour. You'll also see with that with Luna's shield.

She had nightmares about it for years. They only ended when Facilier finally perfected a sleeping potion that kind of acted as a sedative medication for people with insomnia, anxiety, PTSD, etc. She'd go days without sleeping to try and avoid the dreams.

Mari tried so, so hard to keep Andi away from the Isle. The Isle was cruel and dangerous, and Andi was just a little kid. She shouldn't have had to deal with that. But this meant that, when the two were separated, Andi had no idea what she was doing. The fact that she didn't like adults was the only thing that kept her alive- adults were out during the day, so she would sleep all day and go out at night, using her shadows to hide her. She still doesn't have much street smarts and can't really hold her own in a fight.

Yeah, I almost cried, too. The only thing that kept me from crying was the mental image. Ace is just trying to eat its soup in the garden to avoid its mother and suddenly this twelve-year-old comes out of nowhere and starts yelling at it. It was so confused before it realized what she was doing (and even then, it had many questions.) It just wanted to eat dinner and now there's a whole situation.

Rose adopts the dogs that bite because she does, too. She throws a punch before the fight starts just because she thinks it's about to go down. She really is just like a traumatized fighting dog or a wasp.

I'm glad you love that. They're such a good family... if you ignore the whole murder part.

Fuck Maleficent. All my homies hate Maleficent.

Unfortunately. They and nearly 100 other kids hidden in Salazan's Grum are gone. Ace is actually having a mental breakdown in Auradon because they couldn't even bury them. They couldn't have a funeral. They never even got the bodies out of the rubble! They never got to properly mourn their siblings and its trying to ignore the pain by taking care of others, but that's just making everything worse.

One day, Ace is going to say that to Maleficent's face. The only reason it hasn't is because it's never seen her. What's she going to do? Kill it? Yeah, its shaking in its baby seal leather boots (they are not really baby seal leather but it likes to make a point.)

I love how I wrote that in an exhausted four-hour haze after the show (I have been in theatre for ten years and that was the best show I've ever seen, I thought it was better than Newsies on Broadway) and you guys still love it. Thank you so much

#the darkness speaks #dante anon #unnamedrat #swearing #long post #caps

[shortmage]

Hello! I’ve got a couple from the fanfic author questions I would like to ask you here ❤️

4, 11, 29, 43, 49, 58

65. If you wrote a sequel to [Struck with Devastating Affection] what would happen in it? (I swear I’m not angling for anything here 😇)

And 72? ( Feel free to cherry pick if that is a way too long list of questions there ^^;)

ah, thank you thank you for letting me ramble ❤️❤️❤️

4. How do you choose which fics to write?

im honestly not sure, its really whichever idea/wip that my brain latches on to long enough for it to get finished. if its an idea i really really want to do, it'll get done sooner or later cause i'll spend more time just staring at doc until something comes loose but really anything that has it's own dedicated doc in my folder, even if it's completely blank with just the title/the line or idea that inspired me, i fully intend to write it at some point. so tl;dr i intend to/choose to write all the fics that come to me

11. Do you write scenes in order, or do you jump around?

oh i jump around SO BAD, even my big bang fic which had a general plot outline for pacing, i jumped back and forth between chapters. i dont think ive written a fic in order EVER

29. What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?

i think just improving since i started back writing creatively two or so years ago now. like re-reading back to those first few i published and what ive published recently, i feel really proud of my improvement!

43. Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

im not certain, i think maybe a werewolf fic cause that feels like such a ubiquitous fandom thing but i do have a wip for that, it's just a matter of actually getting it written

49. What fic of yours would you say is the best introduction to you as a writer?

oh.... now that is a difficult question. i think sfw it might be 'the maker won't mind' or 'i want us to eat well', cause they both came from such places of love for the characters. nsfw, hee hee, i think that might be 'who we belong to' cause i think i really popped off in that fic, lol.

58. Do you have a favorite piece of figurative language you’ve written?

i think it might be the din talking about his mother's dessert in relation to boba in 'struck with devastating affection' cause im really proud that the feeling i was aiming for got across but also because i didnt even notice that i made a vampire feel like something tasted like sunshine to them, LIKE sometimes when i write i just do things just right when my overthinking brain shuts off and just lets the writing brain take over

65. If you wrote a sequel to [Struck with Devastating Affection] what would happen in it?

oh angle all you like, truly. i mean i do really really really want to write a sequel at some point, and i think it kind of planned that from the beginning. or if not the immediate start then not long after it was finished, cause i just really got caught up in what worldbuilding was there and i think there's places to go with it. and if nothing else, ive somehow amped up the sexual tension in BOTH of the vampire fics ive written and then cut to black, so i should really give them a nsfw follow-up in some degree, lol.

72. What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve gotten?

i honestly love every single comment and compliment i get and i hold them so dear but any time someone says they feel that i've gotten a character's voice right just really gives me the warm fuzzies. OR, speaking of, any time someone has said a fic feels like a warm hug to them! MAKES ME SOB TBH

#long post #mage answers #mage writing

[punkscowardschampions]

Janbi, JC & Bibi

Janis: [not you having to rush home in your club/date night outfit to tell all these tweens and teens to fuck off home right now lmao, definitely attempting to not even look at Libi because we don’t want to talk to you rn but I’m sure you aren’t going to just let that happen]

Libi: [picture the absolutely shaming scene of her dancing with some random boy who she’s probably about to kiss and then the lights go on and the music stops and Janis is telling everyone to gtfo, I die, and her utter confusion of like what are you doing here in the way only drunk people genuinely can have no clue about what’s occurring lol] 

Janis: [oh babes, it’s not the mood, it’s really not, we’ll be here with the ‘Partys over’ which we’re saying in general so everyone here gets the memo but directing this as much at you as we can without actually talking to you]

Libi: [it’s the immediate sulking for me as if she is 4 again, in the way that drunk peeps don’t even know they’re being such annoying big babies, just like no no stop, the party can’t be over yet vibes as if this isn’t her house and you aren’t this close to being arrested gal]

Janis: [literally telling people to ignore her ‘cos this is not your house and you have no say in this at all hun, slamming that front door when everyone is out because it won’t be hard to scare away some children]

Libi: [literally trying to show Janis all her footage + rambling on like listen it can’t end like this, girl I know you can’t read the room in your current state but please read the room, she don’t wanna see none of that rn]

Janis: [the temptation to smash whatever you’re recording on would be SO real we’re having to eyeball it aggressively to not rip it from your hands and do that, just turn away and pick something up even though you have NO intention of cleaning up this mess because fuck that ‘it’s out of my hands, you got shut down’ not like I would let you keep partying vibes obvs but just trying to get through to you in the most obvious and slow voice like it’s done, give it up delicious]

Libi: [obvs starting to cry because it feels like the greatest injustice in the world ever for her atm and like everything in her life is shit and she can’t have anything etc etc, we all know it’s also because she’s been holding that in since the Bobby convo, however long ago that was compared to this but]

Janis: [get out some of this pent-up fury by throwing things off the sofa and throwing a blanket and pillow at it like there you go because we cannot start or we will not stop and it’s a pointless and thankless conversation that we don’t wanna be having because we’ve just been made homeless, which we will have to tell Casey when he gets back if we can manage to hold off in texts because obviously, he knows you had to rush off but probably not the whole shebang yet]

Libi: [hug this pillow to get out some of your sad hun, and then inevitably Chubby instead when he comes to sit by you because he knows you are ‘Don’t hate me too’ just a lil plea at her because Bobby hates us and we can’t deal]

Janis: [‘nobody hates you, Libi’ but in that tired, sick of this way you talk to a child who has really wound you up but you’re not gonna get on the level and have your own tantrum, however tempting it is ‘you just made a massive fucking mistake’ more of a trying to calm self down vibe to saying this out loud because obviously, we know there was malice in this but we’re trying not to make that equate to you wanting us to be homeless because you couldn’t have predicted that outcome]

Libi: [‘Yeah they do, he does’ when it’s a sob on the he for obvious reasons but you’re too drunk to not be that blatant about this ‘you sound like him, except he called me all sorts, and you’re at least trying not to’]

Janis: [‘Bobby is being an asshole too’ true that but that is about as interested as we can be in this tonight, soz hun but its registering low on our list of concerns, go to the kitchen which I imagine as being in the same room as the lounge vibes and find a clean glass to get some water, just letting that tap run for longer than is needed because when you run out of tasks you have nothing to focus on but your own worry]

Libi: [if you knew you’d made them homeless you’d be more concerned about that but you don’t realise that’s gonna happen yet so we’ll let you off, just telling Chubby everything that Bobby said, repeating yourself I’m sure because what drunk person doesn’t]

Janis: [again the petty urge to drag Chubby away from her like LEAVE HIM ALONE, resist, resist lmao, you must try to be an adult here, put this water down beside her and grunt out the ‘get some sleep’ before shutting yourself in your bedroom because what else can you do]

Libi: [actually taking your life in your hands by coming in at some point and getting in bed with her the way you did when you were a child but we all know it’s going to happen even if it’s hours later because I guarantee she’ll have tried to lie down/been lying down for a bit but then felt sick and been sick because again, drunk vibes, and you automatically want to be comforted in that sort of scenario, however angry you know Janis is, giving it the ‘I’m sorry, please don’t be mad’ as if it’s that simple]

Janis: [doing the world’s biggest sigh because you really do not want to do this but not doing it is more of a hassle than just dealing with the discomfort of having to so just letting her and stroking her hair]

Libi: [thank god Janis isn’t squeamish because this is a tiny flat and you would’ve heard her throwing up for however long and that’s just honestly grim, especially when someone’s also crying at the same time, bringing back everyone’s fave drunk Grace mems here Libi, if you could stop that we’d all appreciate it ‘I just wanted to have a happy birthday’ absolutely breaking my heart with how sad and defeated she sounds]

Janis: [will have to warn Casey that that has yet to be cleaned up because we have to stay here and let you snuggle us ‘I know’ because we do and we also know you did not have one, however momentarily distracted you were]

Libi: [‘Would I have, if I’d been born on time?’ like please tell me things will be better a couple of months from now because I can’t cope with how shit they are rn]

Janis: [‘Better’ because there’s no sense in telling you the truth of I don’t know right now]

Libi: [‘It’s not fair’ because it isn’t that your bday is falling at the worst time]

Janis: [‘Nope’ with a shade more spice behind it than there would be if we were purely being comforting but you’re drunk you ain’t gonna know]

Libi: [‘But I made a friend, her life’s shit too’ like hey silver lining]

Janis: [a noise like there you go then ‘not [that boy she was dancing with] then’ like who even was that lol]

Libi: [a genuine look like ??! who because who even was he for real, gurl do you know, what was the craic but then gloss over it how drunk peeps can and do like ‘Boys ARE bad at flirting’ aka my bestie was so right and so real for that one even though Janis was not privy to that convo so that doesn’t track for anyone but you sis, and just tell her everything about America, all the tea including the Mr Lucas detention and everything y’all have been up to and all the goss she told you about Gaz because no filter rn]

Janis: [‘Sure, I remember her’ because we are familiar with the family sis ‘you shouldn’t have gone to that detention’ like I would have got you out of it, like we would’ve planned something fun for your birthday if you were communicating with us properly]

Libi: [‘He’d have kept me for more of them if I didn’t go, maybe on my own’ like that’s a hard no thank you sir, because he deffo would, he is that bitch]

Janis: [‘not without valid reason he wouldn’t’ like no no]

Libi: [‘skipping the first detention would be a valid reason, any excuse to assert his disrespected authority, easier to get in, it done and then myself out only once’]

Janis: [just shaking our head but not saying anything like oh okay hun, you know best]

Libi: [‘not your baby’ in the sassy way you’d say it to a lad trying to badly flirt with you except we’re very much saying we know we’re not your problem and you have bigger, literally including a baby on the way, love how it contradicts to how you’re being snuggled as if you are, who’s the hypocrite now, huh? Lol]

Janis: [‘like mum wouldn’t also call and get you out of it’ because yes, this entire fam is that bitch, true]

Libi: [‘I handled it’ because this entire fam is also that bitch, we know]

Janis: [another noise because we’ve seen how you’re handling things tonight and how well that’s gone for us all]

Libi: [‘uncalled for’ even though it isn’t but I get what you’re saying, in the sense of this detention you didn’t get molested which is a win, but that makes her think of the Bobby convo and what he said that she said that in response to, so going v quiet]

Janis: [just letting the silence sit for a moment because we don’t have to immediately jump on this and turn it into a dramatic moment, wouldn’t be helpful and we’re also not inclined to ‘he’s facing a lot of shit they haven’t faced since he was a baby’ like he’s going to be in a bad mood]

Libi: [‘If I thought he was facing up to anything I wouldn’t mind, he isn’t though, he’s burying his head in playing nurse, a job which isn’t even his to do’ Where’s the lie tbh? Nothing is being addressed yet and we all know it]

Janis: [‘he’s facing up to the fact I left and so did both his parents, he can’t avoid it’ because that is an unavoidable reality for them right now]

Libi: [the kind of sad sound you do before you cry some more, because that is sad and we hate that he’s doing this all alone when he doesn’t have to and how that’s become unavoidable too]

Janis: [shrugging, not to be a callous bitch but just like yeah, I know]

Libi: [just have your little cry for a sec here ‘you really fucked everything up’ pot kettle miss but]

Janis: [getting up with a sigh ‘yep’ again like mhmm, I’m aware, go clean up that vomit hun, tis preferable] 

Libi: [I hope you at least made it to the bathroom vaguely Libi, it’s not very far away, I know damn well you’re gonna fall asleep here, the audacity when it is not your bed and that is not your dog to snuggle and Casey is gonna have to carry you to the sofa or leave you there and have nowhere to put himself when he gets home, rude]

Janis: [Ahh the hot mess of it all, we are not equipped to deal with teenagers when we’ve barely stopped being one ourselves]

Libi: [Literally, Casey is 21 years old, get out of his house, gal, he was so happy here how dare you]

Janis: [was having a lovely night, God knows what he thinks is going on]

Libi: [he’s defs not expecting to made homeless that quick, that’s for sure, what fun that’ll be, thanks Libi, thank god there is that flat above the pub to move into quickly or else he’d never forgive you hun, really coming for his life and you’ve still got to throw yourself at him yet]

Janis: [yikes]

Libi: [do you wanna skip to the AM on this or do some jc first?]

Janis: [it might make sense to do some JC because I see no world in which you’re just leaving this lol]

Libi: [my thoughts exactly, I’ll have him message her like after she’s had the phone call and rushed off but had enough time to go home]

Casey: What were the landlord after, ringing you at that time, must’ve had a break in or some bollocks

Janis: Not a break-in, be disappointed by the lack of good shit to nick if it was, like

Casey: dog’s still there then, is he

Janis: ‘course, though his guard dog abilities are still in question

Casey: go on then, tell us

Janis: Libi decided to throw herself a party, must have took a risk on me not being there in that plan but that’s where any planning ended

Casey: at ours, how the fuck did she even get herself in, she had a key off you I don’t know about

Janis: emergencies happen, though yeah, regret that decision now

Casey: you never said, I’d have what a shit idea it’d be

Janis: I said, I know

Casey: keeping your mouth shut about how massive of a go [the landlord’s name] had though, like I dunno by that if nowt else

Janis: I thought it was the sort of thing that should be said in person

Casey: right, that bad

Janis: mission accomplished for her, I suppose

Casey: she’ll wanna take herself on the mission it is to set off back home before I get there

Janis: She’s in no state to go anywhere

Casey: and I ain’t in one to give a fuck, get her out my sight, I’m serious

Janis: Let me sort this

Casey: like how you kicked it off by chucking her a key

Janis: because I didn’t want her walking the streets ‘cos they won’t have her over

Casey: she’s got somewhere to live, more than us both by the sounds of

Janis: I can’t undo the decision, I can talk to the landlord in the morning

Casey: fuck’s sake, how much notice have we been given before we need to piss off out of it

Janis: How longs a piece of string, they wouldn’t want us to complain about not being given the fair amount of time

Casey: alright, that’s something

Janis: She’ll be asleep when you get in, you don’t have to talk to her or see her, alright

Casey: have to be, won’t it

Janis: I’m not driving her anywhere, she did this to me, I’m handling it

Casey: go handle it then

Janis: [do that]

Casey: [this poor boy having to finish his shift absolutely fuming, please don’t do anything, we don’t need you getting sacked as well]

Janis: [thanks again, girl, we’re all having a great time]

Casey: [it’s only his 2nd night at this new job and oh the drama, come back home when you’re done and GLARE at the closed bedroom door because that’s obviously where Libi is, refusing to look anywhere else, especially at Janis or at the carnage everywhere in this gaff that was his home sweet home]

Janis: [when you wanna shout I’M SORRY but that is fixing absolutely nothing and we all know it, just been sat here stewing casually because like fuck are we cleaning up the mess when the damage has been done and is so much worse than some party shennanigans]

Casey: [when he would start cleaning because he’s that bitch and this is how he copes, we all remember, but also because he’s thinking the landlord will let them stay there like a month or something before they had to leave because that’s what a decent landlord would do]

Janis: [soz we would be convinced we could make that happen, we’re not purposefully lying about it to stop an argument, because it is bullshit but you know; speaking of we all remember, this is reminding us far too much of the terrible times back at the JJ residence and the potential we may have to beg Jimothy to at least let us stay is making us wanna puke so go to the bathroom because can’t deal with any of this rn]

Casey: [I’d like to take a moment to remind everyone they’ve both barely slept and how much worse that would be making everything feel, and now they can’t even go to bed, ffs Libi, just have your respective moments, him cleaning up and her trying not to throw up]

Janis: I’m sorry she’s a bitch, she’s related to me

Casey: I’ve been her age and as fed up of it

Janis: doesn’t change how fucked up this was 

Casey: I fucked her perfect life up for her first, expect no less, like

Janis: right so I’m the idiot for expecting more

Casey: least she had the balls to do something, makes one of them

Janis: there’s nothing impressive about it, it’s entirely sad

Casey: never said I were impressed by it, said I get it

Casey: she’s a lass, not like she can square up to me no other way

Janis: It’s only a fraction about us but we’re the ones with a fucked up life from it

Casey: fraction of what we deserve for what we done, we both know it

Janis: bullshit

Casey: how is it

Janis: We’ve done sod all to them, it’s Jimmy’s fucking pain not theirs

Janis: if anyone gets to use it like a weapon

Casey: he never will do, they might as well, them who’ve gotta live with him

Janis: no

Casey: he’s related to me, and like me, he spreads his pain about so every dickhead can feel it

Janis: I don’t care, there’s no excuse for it

Janis: she can sleep it off and then she can go

Casey: won’t catch us fighting her corner, I’ve said she’d already be gone if it was up to us

Janis: I’m not putting myself in the wrong to detract from her guilty conscience 

Casey: well done, I’m not bothered where I put myself ‘cause she’s fucked my chances of it being bed

Janis: wouldn’t blame you if you went back out

Casey: yeah you would

Janis: I wouldn’t be anywhere near her if I could avoid it so, no

Casey: I’d rather be near her than away from you

Janis: you’re still mad at us too

Casey: just that you’re chucking keys about without telling me

Janis: she wanted to see the dog, it seemed harmless

Casey: she could’ve walked in on all sorts since she’s had it, how harmless is that

Janis: I reckon she knows that

Casey: next time, warn us

Janis: there isn’t going to be a next time

Casey: probably be living in a doorway instead, how it’s going

Janis: we won’t

Casey: this place wasn’t easy to sort, no use pretending it were

Casey: I dunno what we’re gonna do when the landlord wants us out

Janis: I’ll think of it

Casey: it ain’t your fault, there’s no need for you to reckon on fixing it all yourself, I’m not blaming you, girl, I don’t 

Janis: I gave her the key

Casey: you said it yourself, you thought better of her than this

Casey: I love you for that, you know I do

Janis: don’t

Casey: you heard

Janis: it’s my fault she could, I feel so fucking stupid

Casey: I love you so fucking much, none of it changes my mind, it makes it up

Casey: she wishes she were the person you reckoned on her as, us an’ all, we don’t deserve who you are or how much you care

Janis: come here?

Casey: [do, appear and sit next to her on this bathroom floor]

Janis: [give him a dramatic hug because fuck all this]

Casey: [giving it back as dramatically, only pulling back eventually enough so he can do the checking her over thing they always do, and look down at this toilet to see if she’s been sick or not because of course he cares and needs to know]

Janis: [we are not okay and we’re embarrassed at how blatant that is on our face honestly, rubbing our eyes furiously ‘cos nah, sod crying when you’re just so fuming, shake your head when he looks over at the loo ‘let her have it’]

Casey: [cupping her face so soft and giving her the most caring eye contact of all time before he rubs her eyes really really gently because soz Libi we could not give less of a fuck about you rn hun, this is our only priority]

Janis: [just repeating over and over how you’re going to fix this in a quiet voice because that is the only way we know how to deal, by promising to sort everything like it’ll be easy]

Casey: [shhing her but in a it’s okay I still love you even if you can’t fix this sort of way not a stfu one, because he isn’t jimothy he doesn’t need her to promise that never mind have to feel the pressure to follow through on it when it isn’t her fuck up]

Janis: [putting a finger up to his lip like no you shh ‘believe me’ because we need to hear that you still do ‘no more cunty landlords, no more shit neighbours or broken things’]

Casey: [a nod cos we all know he trusts her with his life ‘long as you believe us I’m with you no matter what, there’s no need to bribe me with none of that’ said like everything she just said was ruster levels of boujee for the bants or we’ll simply die from how many emotions we have] 

Janis: [do a small lol like alright then ‘you didn’t deserve this’ and resting our head on your shoulder because you didn’t and it was mean]

Casey: [‘nor you’ doing a feelsy lean because he didn’t mean that he was just upset and feeling like he can’t have anything either, see Libi you bitch you’re not the only one, stroking her hair in what’s probably a very similar way to how she was stroking Libi’s earlier because full circle and everything is cinematic]

Janis: [‘sorry there’s no one lurking for you to kick out’ operative word being the kick there ‘trying to remember knocking sense into kids don’t work’ because ooh girl, we are fuming]

Casey: [literally, if she hadn’t been asleep when he got back he’d have hit her and I couldn’t have stopped him, hence he’s not saying anything rn cos it’s too real, he’s just trying to be with her and calm down slightly]

Janis: [squeezing your forearms with both our hands as hard as we can lowkey because we get it, giving him a by comparison soft as hell kiss too]

Casey: [giving her a v soft and loving headbutt because yeah, they both have a lot of pent up shit thanks to that little cow in the other room lol ‘she’s right out for the count, let’s just’ a pause, whilst you try and decide if you wanna go for a run or go and hit something but in a safe way at a 24 hour gym, cos you know she’ll follow your thinking even if you don’t finish that sentence]

Janis: [‘she ain’t gonna wake up and start over’ like yeah, she’s definitely done for the night, thank fuck lol ‘it’s not like she came here to be looked after’ with a shrug like we can do what we want, slightly immature but we’ll allow it, doing a forehead lean]

Casey: [get up and pull her up, kissing her, harder than the one she gave him but still not really dramatic, when he of course ends up also pulling her into and really close to him, because thank god she said yes, we stan healthy ways of coping being suggested and implemented]

Janis: [letting yourself have a moment to just be with him as if everything is normal and back to the way it was because fake it ‘til you make it and there isn’t any point sitting here all night seething, you’re better to try lads ‘let me go get you some clothes’ after kissing you again, ‘cos you can’t do anything sporty in your work attire]

Casey: [a look like get yourself some which is also a shameless excuse to check out the gloriousness of her date and clerb fit once more because in all the drama it’s easy to forget how hot she looks and I’m sure some of the teen boys at that party never will lol]

Janis: [thought something was really about to pop off, unlucky lads, just giving you heart eyes and a smile like ‘was the plan’ ‘cos lord knows you’d look VERY odd trying to go for a run or to the gym in whatever you’re wearing too lol]

Casey: [him giving her a smack on the arse like off you go how men weirdly do in sports lol, I know they probably wanna hit things but realistically I think we’re gonna have to say y’all go for a run and take Chubby cos when she opens that bedroom door to get clothes that lil boy is gonna wake up and come bimbling out and see that Casey is home and be BUZZING]

Janis: [ah the homoerotic nature of sports, love to see it, like this dog with this boy, coming out with your fits in a bag or whatever and rolling your eyes like that settles that then, throwing his clothes at him like better get changed now then]

Casey: [the way he’d be loving upon this dog, because even though they are only tweens and teens it’s yet again like so soz I’ve put you in a chaotic situation when all I wanna do is give you a happy and settled home, is BREAKING MY HEART ACTUALLY, so yeah put your clothes on by literally doing a strip in front of her rn because I won’t separate a boy and his dog at this trying time]

Janis: [good thing he’s a social happy-go-lucky man ‘cos that would’ve freaked out some animals, even if no one was a dick because it’s so loud and overstimulating, this girl here equal parts 🥺 and 😍 watching you]

Casey: [mhmm, all my dogs would’ve hated it, and fuck you fr if you’d done that and he wasn’t this social king, Libi, we’d have even more serious beef, get this dog ready to go boy and don’t look at her because if you do we all know what’ll happen and it won’t be y’all going for a run]

Janis: [put your own clothes on and stop staring, miss ma’am, because whilst that would also help y’all destress, it would not be quiet enough I am so sure]

Casey: [we’ll let you do it post-run if we can, y’all have hooked up in the park before so you’re not gonna be opposed wherever you are, besides I love that you’re gonna work out together again cos you clearly used to but it’s been a minute]

Janis: [a solid vibe boo bear, we love to see it even though we wish it was under better circumstances]

Casey: [I’m so proud of both of them for not losing it at Libi though, seriously well done, lads, that’s growth, and you’ll end up having a good time, despite it not being the turn you thought your night would take]

Janis: [at least you can leave the house now the situation has been put to bed with that gal because there’s nothing more for you 2 to do tonight so go run it out and you can probably do some screaming if you feel like ‘cos it’s late enough]

Casey: [yeah, there’ll be nobody about much I’m sure, live your best lives, whatever you need to do, and when you come back he’ll chuck Libi like a sack of potatoes onto the sofa and y’all and Chubby can snuggle and pretend like it’s just any other night]

Janis: [winnie said like boycat the fat flump, at least drink does put you in that deep sleep ‘cos we don’t need you trying to crawl in again that would be very awkward for everyone involved lol]

Casey: [god imagine, no no, you’re staying asleep gal and not waking up until they decide to wake you to kick you out when Janis has gotta go to work and everything, thanks very much]

Janis: [you best be ready to grovel lmao]

Casey: [do you wanna skip to that now or is there anything else we need to do first?]

Janis: [I reckon we good]

Libi: I don’t know what to say

Janis: I bet you don’t

Libi: It’s new territory for loads of reasons

Janis: There’s a basic you might want to start with, that shouldn’t be that hard

Libi: I am sorry, you have to know that already, right?

Libi: I’m so sorry

Janis: I don’t know anything anymore 

Janis: how can you genuinely say you had no idea that could happen

Libi: It was just a party, some people from school, nothing as crazy as anything mum would do

Janis: She lived in the middle of nowhere, as you’re well aware

Libi: Yeah, okay, it got a bit more out of control than it should’ve

Libi: when I did

Janis: I trusted you with a key because I was worried about you

Libi: I know you trusted me, but don’t say you’ve been worried, that isn’t true

Janis: Yes, it is, don’t you dare try to turn this around when you’re the one who has made us homeless

Libi: We haven’t spoken for ages, it’s not spin, it’s how things are

Janis: Because you are not speaking, you don’t want to

Janis: you can’t choose to do that and act as if it’s a valid excuse for you to do that, nothing would be

Libi: There’s no valid excuse for you to forget all about me while you go and play happy families with Case either, I lost mine cos of you and then you leave me as well

Janis: Make it clearer how unsorry you are

Libi: You too

Janis: I’ve told you, I’m not sorry and I’m not going to apologize for splitting from my husband

Libi: What about since? Where are you? You give me a key and expect that to make everything okay, but I’m not welcome anywhere

Janis: You used that key to throw a fucking party when I wasn’t there, you want to talk about being welcome, that isn’t how you behave when you want an invite, Libi

Libi: You’re never there anymore, and I’m so fucking lonely always now, I wanted to not be

Janis: and I wasn’t lonely, Case wasn’t, none of you gave a fuck about us then

Libi: You kept it from me, you should’ve told me

Janis: It was apparent to anyone who didn’t benefit from looking away

Libi: No, you shut me out and deliberately left me arm’s length away from what was actually happening, that’s what you do

Janis: It would be me doing it, not you lot

Libi: It is you misleading me and then getting upset cos you reckon I’m not looking in none of the proper places

Janis: If you don’t know what unhappy looks like then a lot of fucking people have failed you for you to be that bloody oblivious 

Libi: I can recognise a rough patch, that doesn’t mean I’d call it as being the end of everything

Libi: you failed each other, nothing to do with my vision

Janis: And so what if we did? You get to act like a spoilt brat and treat me like shit for it? Nah, you thought wrong if that was the plan

Libi: I didn’t have a grand or evil plan, I only wanted to celebrate my birthday, to try and have some fun again

Janis: In my flat, that isn’t irrelevant, you did that for a reason

Libi: I had a key, you weren’t there and neither were a farmyard full of assorted animals

Janis: it was so fucking selfish

Libi: Well, you started it

Janis: not good enough

Libi: And you told me kids are allowed to be selfish and oblivious, that that’s all childhood is

Janis: and kids aren’t left to their own devices to throw stupid parties, think again about me trusting you like that ever again

Libi: I’ll think about it instead of the reasons I have not to trust you, be a nice change

Janis: If you started this expecting an ounce of sympathy

Janis: you’re sad, I have nowhere to live, it’s not the same fucking ballpark

Libi: I didn’t, in the competition of how miserable everybody is, I always come last

Janis: Poor you

Libi: Why do you think I tried to do something different? It backfired massively, alright, but I had to try

Janis: No one here has an issue with you having a party

Janis: you should’ve asked, you know you didn’t because you wanted to fuck us over, even if not to the level you have

Libi: I didn’t want you to be homeless, I don’t

Libi: but I’ll make it right, talk to granddad, the flat’s got nobody in, I’ll tell him he has to let you both stay

Janis: Is it?

Libi: I get why you wouldn’t want to be there and have nan in your business but it won’t be forever

Janis: I’m not in a position to be fussy

Libi: I’ll sort it, promise

Janis: I can talk to him myself now but thanks for letting me know

Libi: At least let me talk to nan, she’ll listen to me and keep out of your way

Janis: what do you reckon you’re going to say

Libi: You don’t need my script line by line, I haven’t done anything to make her fuming at me, I’m still her favourite

Janis: I mean do what you want, I’m not bothered by her or anyone else

Libi: Casey’s bothered, very bothered

Janis: you reckon

Libi: Yeah, I have lived with him myself

Janis: right, barely

Janis: it’s not like you paid him much attention or he was there that often 

Libi: It don’t even matter, he’s a man and nan’s a hater of most of them, wouldn’t you rather avoid anything kicking off? That’s where I’ll come in and you’ll know I’m sorry

Janis: I’m an adult who don’t have to explain anything to anyone

Janis: and nan has successfully cockblocked 0 people in her life but

Janis: alright

Libi: You can be in her good books for all the teen pregnancies you will have prevented last night anyway

Janis: yeah, no one at that party was getting laid

Libi: Hopefully not, I don’t need that on my conscience

Janis: I weren’t pissed, I saw, no one there was far enough into puberty to worry about

Libi: Good, I banned anyone too old

Janis: alright, trying to show you’ve still got some sense

Libi: I’ve spent enough time avoiding Lucas lately without adding loads of other boys who aren’t really no more age appropriate than him and wouldn’t be as easy to murder if I had to, accidentally or otherwise, to the list

Libi: I’ve as much trust in them to behave, after being told how pretty I am and the rest, as you’ve got in me

Janis: it’s something and we’ll have to take it

Libi: I seriously didn’t mean for this, it was only supposed to be a distraction, which maybe hurt you a little bit, but not this much

Janis: I’ll believe you

Libi: I had too many drinks, you can believe I won’t do that again

Janis: less inclined but if it takes you a while to want to give it another go

Libi: I don’t want to, ever

Libi: I didn’t want to last night, but he said some things that hurt me a lot

Janis: I need to talk to Jimmy about him

Libi: I need to talk to someone about being homeschooled 

Janis: he needs more support than the school has provided, it needs to be sorted for the pair of you

Libi: The school provides more support for sex offenders, I don’t think any of us are holding our breath

Janis: We haven’t exactly pushed the issue though, not before

Libi: I’m not buzzing about the idea of pushing it now, and why we finally are

Janis: If anything, you’ve got your exams this year, and leavers is more intense after, you both need to do your own work

Libi: He can write, he’s not illiterate, exams aren’t the issue

Libi: and it isn’t you who’d have to stand there and say you don’t wanna do this anymore

Janis: that isn’t the point at all

Janis: I’m fairly certain it borders on illegal anyway

Libi: The point is it’ll be the end of us

Libi: it’s the only time he talks to me at all

Janis: he might be more inclined to actually talk to you if he doesn’t have to

Janis: dependence isn’t close to anything you really want

Libi: I want things to stop changing in ways that are horrible

Janis: this would be a good change

Libi: You can’t promise me that

Janis: yeah, I can

Janis: it’s a pressure neither of you is benefitting from 

Libi: Are you actually going to talk to Jim about Bobby?

Janis: among other things

Libi: I’m sorry for the parts which are my fault then, too

Janis: it’d be necessary anyway

Janis: but you should probably apologize to him, he’ll be the one who doesn’t want to talk to me at all

Libi: I don’t think he’ll feel like talking to me either

Janis: the reaction will be less visceral 

Libi: 👍 can be pretty heartbreaking in the right, or wrong, context

Janis: yeah

Libi: You did it to me and I’ve done it back

Janis: I think we all have every way we can

Libi: Never again, along with drowning my sorrows

Janis: I’ll try

Libi: It’s alright, we’re not going to talk for a while, I get it

Janis: I do have a lot I need to sort out now, more than I did

Libi: Yeah

Janis: I’ll let you know, what Jimmy says about Bobby and all that

Libi: I’ll be able to work it out, from what happens or doesn’t happen

Janis: Alright then

Libi: I’m not doing a 👋 that’s almost as bad

Janis: We’ll talk soon

Libi: The birthday card should be in the post by now, no take backs

Janis: obviously the plan, as I’m so busy

Libi: So gutted you can’t take your euros out, more like

Janis: need every penny, like

Libi: I’ll give them back via granddad, he’s still trustworthy

Janis: as he ever was

Libi: 😶 or I’ll end up without my [whatever they’re getting you] too

Janis: might be an idea to behave now, yeah

Libi: You don’t need to tell me, you already have how badly I fucked everything up

Janis: I mean, yeah, you were too pissed to take it in before

Libi: Please don’t feel the need to tell me all about that either

Libi: god, how 😳

Janis: yeah well how pathetic you looked did stop me smacking you so, silver linings, girl

Libi: I’ll take it over details which would definitely cause an asthma attack on this bus, not that I’m using emotional blackmail again this soon, obviously

Janis: Another time, then

Libi: Never is cool, forget you ever saw me in such a state

Janis: you wish, you mess

Libi: I’m not wasting my candles on it under the circumstances, but yeah

Janis: lesson learnt works for me

Libi: Very unfair of the life I have to live now not to have a rewind, pause or stop

Janis: join the club, kid

Libi: No tah, the members all think I’m a dick

Janis: suppose it’s better to be surrounded by lads who tell you you’re pretty

Libi: A girl told me first, why we’re friends, no other reason

Janis: uhuh, yes man sounded close to what you described

Libi: Oh, go on and erase everything I said along with how pathetic you reckon I looked/acted

Janis: locked away for blackmail purposes if you fuck me over again, naturally

Libi: I won’t

Libi: There is a lad who keeps messaging me though 🤞 he hasn’t got anything he can blackmail me with

Janis: It looked PG when I walked in, doubt it

Libi: Saved by the fuming family member

Janis: You’re so welcome

Libi: From the look of his insta I’m sure I am

Janis: 😬

Libi: My hormones can piss right off, they’re not allowed to drive no more

Janis: it gets easier

Janis: maybe

Libi: Doubt it, going off every terrible role model I have around

Janis: Tah

Libi: I’m moving to London with that lot right now, fuck this

Janis: because they’re excellent role models?

Libi: No, but I can do a massive reinvention and let it stick

Janis: of a hormoneless teenage girl, good luck

Libi: And their exams are different, I could start school over as well

Janis: its a pipe dream, I would know

Libi: You’ve just reminded me, I told Bobs I hoped he had nightmares

Libi: so that’s great

Janis: Was it warranted?

Libi: He was being a dickhead, but you know what I was behaving like

Janis: lose lose then

Libi: The new normal for all of us

Janis: Speak for yourself, sad sack

Libi: I can’t speak for you, I wouldn’t have the first clue how to be as aggro

Janis: Well when you get your first place, I’ll be sure to come ‘round and get you kicked out

Janis: give you a fair go

Libi: Looking forward to it

Janis: uhuh 👌👌

Libi: Are you planning to wear the same outfit or? I will if you do

Janis: I didn’t get the memo about the theme from the landlord, oddly enough

Janis: and not sure I’ve got anything that is very toddler’s tea party so will have to

Libi: At least you picked up on it

Janis: I’ve got eyes and remember what you looked like

Libi: It was a last minute decision but still a better one than most Met Gala themes

Janis: don’t need to tell me how mental fashion is

Libi: A trip down memory lane isn’t improving anybody’s mood, I’ve realised that, yeah

Janis: not so much memory lane, just considering getting back into it

Libi: 👌 like you’re not 👵 as far as the modelling world is concerned

Janis: Um yeah but I don’t look like one ‘cos I didn’t do coke or have an eating disorder, tah

Libi: Good luck with it then, and congrats for the lack of drug abuse and mental illness, obviously

Janis: what

Libi: ?

Janis: why are you being funny about it, like you don’t know why I need more money

Libi: I’m not, it’s your life

Janis: yeah, right

Libi: And you think I don’t know Casey at all, so you probably won’t ever have a single row about it

Janis: we don’t row

Libi: Not yet

Janis: you’re so right, obviously going to break us

Libi: I didn’t say that, but tah for how reassuring you were

Janis: Another pipe dream isn’t gonna do you any favours

Libi: Right, I’ll just keep on living in fear for you

Janis: He’s never once hurt me, don’t be ridiculous

Libi: Yeah, it’s ridiculous he could, I’m sorry, how dare I

Janis: So could anyone but he hasn’t and he won’t

Libi: 🎂🤞🌠🙏🔮

Janis: Just stop

Libi: No

Janis: I trust him, I know him better than anyone

Libi: You love him, meaning you’re massively biased 

Janis: Well that’s stupid, that’s what a relationship is, with anyone you love, you trust them and think the best

Janis: so what, go through life being close to no one so you can be objective? That worked really well, been there, done it

Libi: You’re happy enough to call me stupid and point out Bobby’s flaws, here I am returning the favour

Janis: no, because you don’t love him, you just point out his flaws, all of you

Janis: I’ve done a fucking shit ton for you and Bobby and Jimmy, I reserve every right to point out when you’re being dickheads, like I do with him

Libi: I don’t love him cos he scares me, that shouldn’t need pointing out

Janis: And when has he ever laid hands on you

Libi: Is that supposed to be my cut off? Everything else is okay as long as he doesn’t hit me? I don’t fucking think so

Janis: He doesn’t pander to you, that’s the real issue 

Libi: No, it’s that he throws things, breaks others, and he does hurt people, even if they aren’t me or you, it’s that he’s volatile and you make excuses for him, you always have

Janis: I don’t give up and shun, it isn’t the same thing

Libi: Do you think I want to?

Libi: but it’s terrifying, okay? It is

Janis: I really don’t know how you would’ve coped

Libi: What does that mean?

Janis: Use your head or forget about it, this is ridiculous

Libi: Tell me

Janis: Nothing

Libi: It’s clearly something, you have something you want to say, so go on

Janis: If I had anything to say, I’d say it, when have I not

Janis: you’re trying to start another fight because you’re entirely in the wrong in this one

Libi: I care about you, it is putting me in the wrong right now, with you and Bobby, but I’m not going to stop

Janis: You didn’t care enough to not throw that party, don’t saint yourself, it’s really not going to bring him ‘round

Libi: I made a mistake, I’ve said sorry

Janis: It isn’t a mistake where sorry is fucking good enough, Libi

Janis: Jesus, just 

Libi: I know but what else can I do? I’ve told you about the flat

Janis: We need to not speak, you’re right

Janis: because all you’ve done since saying the word is try to make this about my failings, Casey’s

Janis: the timing couldn’t be worse

Libi: You need to know why I did it, what you’ve both done and then walked away from off into the sunset together

Janis: We haven’t done anything to you

Libi: It’s you really thinking that’s true that’s the most fucked up

Janis: Who I’m with, has never been any of your fucking business, okay

Libi: I lived with you more than I did anywhere else, it was my family, my life

Janis: You shouldn’t have because they aren’t

Libi: But I did and they were

Janis: and that’s the only sorry you’ll get

Janis: he was my first boyfriend, you and fucking Bobby shouldn’t have featured anywhere in that

Libi: I can’t give you a sorry back, I was a kid 

Janis: so was I

Libi: I’ve already said I wish I hadn’t taken your childhood from you

Janis: it’s the fact you don’t mean it because all you want me to do is go back to it

Janis: as if that’s even a possibility

Libi: I don’t want you to go back, I want to, it’s not the same thing

Janis: they don’t want you either, I’m sorry

Libi: I know, it’s been made painfully clear

Janis: and I mean it, I know it hurts

Libi: Like I said, I’ll never win the misery olympics we’re all competing in

Janis: I’m not interested, they can have their win

Janis: if you had any sense you’d drop it and drop out too because you can’t fucking beat them, it’s all they do

Libi: I tried and look what happened

Janis: try again without being so spiteful about it, that don’t work either, I’d know

Libi: It just hurts and I’m sick of everybody acting like I don’t have any reason to be upset

Janis: reason don’t equal solution or sympathy, that’s just life, I’m afraid

Libi: Happy birthday to me 🥳

Janis: yeah, yeah, your mum died on mine so I win that one too

Libi: Do you? You had more birthdays with her than I did

Janis: Obviously, my birthday was significantly worse than yours, be buzzing if all I had was a hangover and an eager dickhead in my DMs next day

Libi: How fuming you are will last loads longer than either of them

Janis: if anything about me is reliable

Libi: I don’t want it to be like this between us

Janis: neither do I

Libi: Why can’t I handle things better?

Janis: dead parents, shit role models?

Janis: better claim to it than most have

Libi: If I turn into the person he thinks I already am after last night, I might win the 🏆 but at what cost? 

Janis: be as pathetic as the rest of us?

Janis: like I said, something I’m trying to avoid now personally but

Janis: old habits and all that

Libi: Yeah

Janis: He isn’t like that, he’s good for me

Libi: It’s fair to say my judgement of anybody’s character has got to be fucked, including my own, so

Janis: and he would support us modelling, if it made me happy, anything

Libi: Okay, that one was a bit of reach, but I 

Janis: I know, that he has been scary

Libi: No you don’t, you basically called me a baby

Janis: you are a bit but

Janis: you’re just sheltered

Libi: …Love that SO much more

Janis: It’s hard for me to view breaking things the same way you do when I know exactly how much he wants to do worse and doesn’t

Janis: that isn’t scary to me but okay, it’s loud and overwhelming and there’s something to fix or buy new at the end

Libi: It isn’t something anybody should have to cope with, him included, that’s all I was trying to point out

Janis: but people do

Janis: like sadness, coping is better than pretending nothings happening until you break

Libi: Is this my rock bottom? 

Janis: for now

Janis: you might get proper into your drink and then you’ve got a long ways to go, kid

Libi: You’re not funny, and you’re gonna make me 🤢

Janis: It isn’t anywhere I need to clean up now so

Janis: [send her her socials from last night like lollollol]

Libi: There’s no need, I’ve seen everything

Janis: A reminder of how much of a twat you were never hurts, like

Libi: It does 🤏 but 

Janis: helpful reminder

Libi: Exactly 

Janis: Alright, I’m gonna go talk to grandad at lunch

Libi: He’ll say yeah, you can be moved in by tonight

Janis: let’s hope so, no one wants to remind Jimmy my name is also on that tenancy agreement 

Libi: Now isn’t the time to say trust me, he will though

Janis: I don’t want to rely on anyone

Libi: You still have to pay rent, it’s not like it’s total charity

Janis: it won’t be charity at all, I’ll pay full whack

Libi: There you go then, just another landlord

Janis: Except it isn’t just that

Janis: because now everyone will know I’m not at home and they’ll also know who I am with so

Libi: They have to know some time, you said it, you’re not going back, it’s not your home and you are with him

Janis: It isn’t just me you’ve essentially outed though

Janis: do you reckon Jimmy is ready for this, I don’t

Libi: Nan isn’t showing up at his door with a commiseration casserole or gonna be running her mouth to every punter, and the rest of the family won’t either

Janis: It’s above a fucking pub, Libi

Janis: don’t try to fool yourself, it’s going to be out there now, that’s it, done

Libi: I didn’t mean for this to happen, I’ve said that

Janis: yeah well, it still did

Janis: You best warn Bobby

Libi: Alright

Janis: I need to talk to Casey, update him

Libi: Yeah, go, don’t let me keep you

Libi: I know you don’t want to talk to me but I have to tell you something important

Bobby: Go on

Libi: They���ve been evicted and the flat above the pub is going spare, they’ll be moving in today, and there’s no need for me to spell out what that means

Bobby: And why have they been evicted

Libi: Don’t

Bobby: Don’t you try an’ lie to me

Bobby: you throw a rager last night, this morning they have to get out, I’m not a bloody idiot

Libi: I’m not trying to lie, it’s just obvious, like you said

Bobby: Are you happy now

Libi: No, of course I’m not

Bobby: I hope you lapped up every drop of attention because he’s about to get so much that he

Bobby: he can’t fucking cope with this right now, for fuck’s sake you

Bobby: They was away from him and no one knew about it, it was the only fucking silver lining and you’ve pissed on it

Libi: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for this to happen but it is, and you both needed to be warned

Bobby: Sorry isn’t good enough!

Bobby: How is he meant to go anywhere, do anything

Libi: It isn’t but it’s all I’ve got, for my actual fuck up

Libi: this was my mistake, but I didn’t make it so he can’t show his face, or function, they did

Bobby: Tell your entire family to keep well away from him, he don’t need anything from any of you

Libi: They will anyway, it’s not their business, any of it

Bobby: Be about right

Libi: Nobody wants to upset Jim, okay? It’s the last thing on anyone’s mind

Bobby: Oh, yeah, totally okay

Bobby: you’re delusional 

Libi: He’s the victim here, everybody’s well aware of that

Bobby: He doesn’t want to be your pissing victim

Bobby: just leave us alone

Libi: I said so

Bobby: Now, leave me alone now

Bobby: me and him are all each other has

Libi: Alright

#me giving everything names for the sake of titling

[1kook]

dreamy

—pjm x (f) reader

summary; You try to not let it get to you, but Jimin is so cool and you want him to be your boyfriend so bad. warnings; ANGST lol, fwb, reader is very :(( rating; mature (18+) bc tiny smut lol  misc; small smut scene, a happy ending <3 wc; 2.5k

notes; i have to post on #JIMIN’s bday or else i cannot live with myself anyway here’s me trying to fit an entire novella plot line in less than 5k words clap for me except maybe don't bc its not proofread anyway hbd jimin <3

Jimin is a nice guy, but you doubt he’d make a nice boyfriend. He fucks you hard and fast, just as you like, but hardly goes out of his way to sprinkle in any other requests. He’s got a one track mind, doesn’t dwell too long on what you say or how you’re feeling. Doesn’t matter because he’s just supposed to be a fuck buddy, the hot guy you met at a party, so you don’t let it phase you. But, well. Jimin is dreamy.

Sometimes he holds your hand while he eats you out and it sends your thoughts into a frenzy, makes your heart pound a little too fast to brush it off as just arousal. He’s got this gorgeous smile, plush lips framing pearly teeth, and when he flashes it your way, it makes your knees weak. Tells you you’re pretty when he picks you up from class, always holds your hand on the way to his place for your routine fuck. Cute and nice like an angel, but just like an angel, he hardly gives a shit about anyone’s feelings but his own.

He laughs when you ask him to hang out that weekend.

“What, like a date?” he snorts, bare chest glistening from his post-fuck exertion. You're pressed against his side now, circling his pretty brown nipple with your finger. “That’s corny.”

You try to not let it get to you, but Jimin is so cool and you want him to be your boyfriend so bad. “Yeah, silly right,” you murmur, ear pressed to his heart. It’s calming and soothing, a slow thrum that contrasts with your own racing heart.

He’s not one for dates or for romantic things like that. But neither is he some player, a cheater, a two-timer. You can count the number of times he’s slept with someone who wasn’t you in your weird fuck buddy relationship, and all four of those had been when you first started sleeping together and only when you had been out of town. You’re no saint either, so you try to understand. He was just horny, liked getting his dick wet, and sometimes he couldn’t wait for you. Understandable, you tell yourself, but your heart hurts a little bit when he begins snoring without really answering your question.

See the thing is, you really like Jimin. It’s been a little over a year now since you’ve met, so you’ve had plenty of time to learn all about him. He doesn’t like pancakes for breakfast, prefers them for lunch actually, and laughs when you tell him that’s weird. He’s got this really dorky laugh, something between a bell and a whistle— it depends on the situation. Sometimes, Jimin likes when you play with his hair, and other times he doesn’t. He’s a sweet boy, you know he is, so why won’t he settle down?

You hate to attribute it to some past trauma, some “my girlfriend broke my heart when I was seventeen” mess, but the more time that passes you begin to believe it’s true. Jimin was a tough nut to crack, and the longer this drags on, the longer he ignores your feelings, you begin to doubt you will ever see them fulfilled.

Maybe you should end this now before it’s too late.

You don’t stay for breakfast the next morning, simply kiss him goodbye at the door like always. He’s older than you, about two years, so he doesn’t go to school anymore, just chills at home all weekend. “I’ll see you soon?” he grins, low-lidded eyes tracking the movement of your mouth as you bid him adieu. You never give him a solid response, figure a guy like Jimin will forget about you soon enough.

Then, suddenly, it’s been two weeks and he doesn’t reach out. Yeah it hurts, but it’s better than having confessed to him and losing him all at once. You’d rather this ending than the one where he terribly rejects you, breaks your heart into a million pieces, and throws you away. Still, it hurts.

Jimin was so cool. He was smart and confident, had a snappy sort of attitude that he liked to use now and then. He could be mean in bed, lick your cunt until you cried and call you a stupid girl when he wanted to. But that same tongue had snapped at a guy who was trying to pressure you into bed with him at a party. That first night you met, where you had sillily followed him home after his dashing intervention, you had thought it would be nothing more. Just a fling, just a fuck.

But then he was in your bed and in your head, twinkling eyes and cocky grin trailing after you everyday. He was so pretty and so suave, made you feel good even when he was being mean. But you suppose most cocky men like Jimin are like that. They know they don’t disappoint, even when they’re not really trying.

Jimin doesn’t call or text. You don’t see his car pull up outside your campus anymore. He’s gone and that’s that. You cry a little (see: a lot) and pretend you’re over him. You definitely don’t think about his soft laughter or his hands on your chest. Nope.

So that ends.

Or so you think.

Your friends say you’re mopey and sad, too down for someone who wasn’t even your boyfriend. It’s true, which sucks, but they honor your admittance by taking you out to a bar that night. It’s supposed to be chill and relaxing, just some drinks with the girls to soothe your aching heart. But the name of the bar reminds you of something, of someone you can’t reach anymore, and you don’t even know why. You’ve never been here before, never even knew this place existed. But everything about it brings you back to Jimin, like you’re in his space now, and you’re unsure why.

It reminds you of his laugh, his smile, to the point you swear you can hear it, right beside you, down the bar, to your left—

He waves.

There’s this look he used to give you every time he picked you up from your last class, this mix between adoration and lust that made your skin tingle with excitement. It’s not there now, in fact, it’s replaced with the complete opposite. It’s, like, the meanest look he can muster, something akin to a scowl. He smiles, but it’s so plastic-y and fake, it makes your head hurt. He’s so obviously unimpressed with you, probably because you ghosted him before he could ghost you. Maybe his pride is hurt and looking at you grosses him out. Maybe he just hates you.

Either way, eleven pm rolls around and you’re crying in the bathroom. Your friends are out on the floor having fun and singing karaoke. They think you’ve gone inside because you got your period, because that’s what you’ve told them. You don’t know how to explain that your ex who isn’t really your ex is out there looking at you like you’re a piece of gum stuck under his shoe. They’ve never even met Jimin. Why? Because he wasn’t your boyfriend. Who meets their friend’s fuck buddy? No one.

You sniffle, press a balled up tissue against your eyes in a feeble attempt to save your makeup. The bar isn’t that small, but neither is it huge. There’s only a few bathrooms in the back, and you’ve been hogging one of them for some time now. Someone knocks on the door, and you don’t even get the chance to ward them off before the crappy knob jingles and the door bursts open.

“Come on,” he grumbles, “you’re not the only one who’s gotta piss—“

He pauses, meets your eye through the mirror in surprise. “I’m sorry,” you blubber, hurriedly washing your hands in an effort to avoid his gaze. Jimin lingers at the door, which has long since fallen shut, and watches you with the eyes of a hawk. Your hands tremble and shake, fumble over the towel dispenser three times before you’re hastily making your escape. “Sorry,” you mutter again, head downcast as you move around him for the door.

Just as it cracks open, the music from outside filtering in, he slams it shut with a flat palm. You flinch, close in on yourself as he steps behind you. “What’re you doing here, doll?” he murmurs, deep yet careful. Tentative. “You don’t like bars.”

You know you don’t like bars. You didn’t know he knew that. “I’m with some friends,” you explain, jump when a hand touches your shoulder. “I— I’ll leave soon.”

A second attempt for the door is thwarted by Jimin. “Don’t,” he startles, breath heavy against your ear. “Don’t leave again…” he sighs, forehead against your shoulder. And then, quietly, “why did you leave me?”

Your heart syncs up with the music outside, thunders in your ears as you purse your lips. You don’t want to talk about it now, don’t want to confess to these emotions that drown you. Especially not when he’ll never understand nor will he ever care. It’s best to leave it as is, you convince yourself, slowly shrugging him off.

“We don’t want the same things,” you reply, eyes burning with the need to cry like a baby. But it’ll weaken your argument, make you look like the sentimental girl you know he won’t like. “It wouldn’t work anyway.”

The hand on your shoulder jerks you around, makes a gasp catch in your throat when he crowds you against the door. He’s got that same glare on from before, the one he had sent you across the bar earlier, and it makes your lower lip tremble when it’s this close. “You never asked me what I wanted,” he hisses.

It is then that you realize it isn't anger or disgust, but frustration that paints his features. It’s pure, unadulterated confusion and distress on his pretty face, furrowed brows and narrowed eyes pointed your way. You don’t know what it means, don’t know what he wants. “I,” you choke, weakly covering your face with your hand before he can see you crumble. “I just wanted you.”

Jimin deflates, steps closer until his body is pressed against yours, hands on your shoulders. “And you have me, doll,” he murmurs, bumps his nose against yours. “Always have.”

You shake your head, choke on a sob that bubbles up your throat. “No, not like that,” you stress, losing yourself in the emotions you spent so much time bottling up. “I wanted more.”

Jimin shushes you, guides your head into the crook of his neck where you paint his skin in dark mascara tears. “Is this about the date?” he sighs, patting your head gently.

“It’s more than just the date,” you cry, fists curling into the material of his shirt until it rumples beyond repair. He doesn’t understand.

Jimin nods, let’s you cry and sob until you’re feeling better and someone else is pounding at the door, yelling at you two to get a proper room. You don’t want a room, you only want his heart. 

He takes you home again, helps you out of your shoes at the door because you’re still sensitive and quiver like a leaf when you walk. His bedroom is familiar, smells like him and his detergent. You miss it so much, want to savor it once more. Something in your gut says this is the last time, this is just Jimin getting one last fuck out of you before he really abandons you.

So you cry when he sits down on the edge of the bed. He hasn’t even said anything, hasn’t even taken his socks off yet, but you’re already a mess.

And of course he’s there to catch you, tugs you between his legs to look up at you as if you’ve hung the stars in the sky. “Don’t cry,” he whispers, reaching up to brush away your tears. But it’s not your fault that he looks like that right before he’s going to break your heart.

He’s so cool, even when you’re falling apart in his hands. “You don’t want me,” you sniffle, let him guide you onto his lap. “You just want to fuck and that’s it.”

Jimin leans his forehead against yours, warm breath washing over your skin. “I never said that,” he murmurs. “We’ve been over this.”

You huff. “Well you never said you did either,” you snap, rubbing at your eyes.

You cry and cry some more, until your sobs subside and you’re left with the hiccups afterwards. Jimin maneuvers you beside him, lets your hair spill across the sheets as he lays you down. They smell just like him, make your head spin when he kisses your cheek softly. “I want you,” he confesses. “I want this.”

You shake your head vehemently. “No, you don’t,” you sniff, but you’re not so sure. It’s what you’ve been telling yourself for the longest. Hearing him say otherwise sounds weird, even if he’s saying what you want to hear. “You don’t.”

Jimin catches your hand in his, pins it to the mattress. “I want you to be mine,” he adds, swallows your cries of denial with his lips. He kisses softly, and for the first time, it feels like he’s paying attention to you. Not your body or your lust, but your heart. “Had me feeling like shit when you didn’t come back. Like I lost something big.”

You still cry when he kisses down your neck, over your chest. His hands pull your clothes off, carefully like you’re a present for him to unwrap. Those plush lips you love so much drown you in kisses, over your tummy and your mound, until they’re buried between your cunt. “You’re mine,” he husks out, hand entwined with yours.

His eyes are dark from down there, long lashes blinking up at you as he dips his tongue in the places you crave him most. It brings you to a shuddering end, has you whimpering his name into the empty air until your toes are curling and you’re coming against his mouth. Jimin has never shied away from you, and doesn’t know, sits up with a hazy look in his eyes as he wipes his face with the back of his hand.

Jimin wastes no time undressing, pushes off that sexy jacket until his lithe body is coming into view, thick thighs and lean abdomen. He slides right into you, holds your knees to your chest as he fucks you like never before. It’s slow and sensual, makes you shiver when he says your name in that low register of his. “Don’t leave again,” he whimpers, cock throbbing between your walls. He’s desperate today, ruts like you’ll slip right between his fingertips. It’s funny because you're the same way, clinging onto his shoulders until you’re practically glued together.

You come and so does Jimin. He pants against your ear, feels so warm and heavy on top of you. He doesn’t say much more that night, just plays with your hair. But he asks you on a date, mentions something about a carnival. “Yes,” you respond right away, because, well.

Jimin was dreamy. Maybe he’d be a good boyfriend.

Copyright © 2020, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

#bangtanhq #networkbangtan #jimin smut #park jimin smut #pjm #park jimin #jimin x reader #jimin x reader smut #park jimin x reader #park jimin x reader smut #bts smut #bangtan smut #mine

[the-last-kenobi]

Most of your fics absolutely destroyed me emotionally so, on my own risk, may I request #13 “You shouldn’t be this easy to carry" with Qui-Gon and padawan Obi-Wan? Thank you!

Ohhh I’m happy to write this one! Thank you! (Always pleased to hear I’ve emotionally wrecked innocent people lol)

From this various prompts list.

_

Qui-Gon descended the ramp of his ship with something less than his usual grace, his expression was rather sour. Other than that, he looked his usual self, untidy but comfortable and serene.

He waved to the attendant heading towards the ship, and bowed to a small mechanic droid that squeaked with excitement, ran in circles around him, and then darted off after the attendant.

Qui-Gon chuckled. He paused to take a deep breath, tasting the metallic scent of Coruscant on the air, but also the warm and familiar notes of the Temple, of home. It was good to be back. Tedious diplomatic assignments that ran well overtime were nothing worth dwelling on, especially when it was done alone.

“Master Jinn!” a warm voice called.

He turned his head and saw Shaak Ti walking towards him, a smile on her lovely face with its striking colors.

“Knight Ti,” he greeted her. “How are you?”

“I’m well,” she answered. “I’m just about to depart to Alderaan; it’s a royal wedding and I’m the token Jedi invitee,” she informed him, but there was no offense in her voice. Alderaan was well known to be genuinely welcoming, and had been more than courteous in their dealings with the Order for centuries on end.

“Enjoy it,” Qui-Gon advised her. “Weddings are rarely something you’d like to miss.”

“I will,” she promised. “Oh, is your Padawan around? I was hoping to catch him when he returned, he forgot to sign off on his departure notice and was scheduled for three shifts in the crèche, which he obviously missed.”

Qui-Gon’s head tilted to one side, and he frowned.

It was obvious that Shaak Ti believed that Obi-Wan had accompanied him on his mission, which had in fact been a solo assignment. The twenty-one-year-old Padawan had remained behind for class rotations.

And Obi-Wan had never missed... well, anything. He was notoriously early for everything, beyond punctual. It was almost annoying.

Perhaps he’d finally slipped into a belated teenage fit of laziness, or he’d fallen so behind on class work that he’d forgotten about the crèche. Both would be extremely out of character, but one instance of this in nearly nine years of training could perhaps be excused.

Shaak Ti was waiting for an answer.

“I’ll talk to him,” he promised, revealing nothing. “Thank you for letting me know. I had no idea.”

She waved it off. “These things happen. You have a good student on your hands; he’s easily forgiven.”

Qui-Gon smiled.

~

The door to their quarters opened for him with a casual wave of the hand. Jedi did not lock their doors often; privacy was an understood thing, something not casually breached. No Jedi would enter another’s rooms without first asking permission.

He wasn’t sure what he expected.

Obi-Wan in the common area, reading.

Or Obi-Wan out and about, somewhere off with some of his more trouble making friends. (Quinlan Vos.)

He was not expecting to find Obi-Wan huddled in the corner of their kitchenette, half-hidden in his cloak, knees drawn up under his chin, crying.

Obi-Wan saw him enter and flinched away, shuddering.

Qui-Gon stared.

The entire scene was so unexpected, so wrong, that for a full five seconds he simply stood there, unable to process it. Obi-Wan had buried his face in his knees and was attempting to stifle his tears, seemingly by holding his breath, which was only making him shake harder.

Qui-Gon jolted out of his paralysis and stepped nearer, dropping onto one knee, sensing that looming over his Padawan was not going to help.

“Padawan?” he asked cautiously.

Obi-Wan looked up reluctantly. His face was a sickly grey; his cheeks were bright red and his blue eyes were feverish. They darted around, seeming to fix on nothing.

“Obi-Wan,” the Master tried again, warily reaching out a hand and resting it on top of one of Obi-Wan’s, clenched around his knee.

Obi-Wan took a rattling breath, more tears spilling down his cheeks. “...What... day is it...?” he gasped.

Qui-Gon’s chest tightened with something close to terror. What in all the galaxy was going on here?

“It’s the 29th,” he said gently. “Taungsday. I returned a day late from my solo mission. Do you remember that?”

Obi-Wan’s tears had increased throughout the brief speech. “Y-yes.”

“All right,” said Qui-Gon, struggling to remain as calm and patient as possible. “All right. Can you tell me what’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

Obi-Wan shook his head, his expression crumbling. Suddenly he very much resembled the boy Qui-Gon had met on Bandomeer, uncertain and frightened, although even then he had not cried. This was different.

“Are you sure?” Qui-Gon pressed.

Obi-Wan nodded, strangling a loud sob by clapping one hand over his mouth. He said something, but of course it was impossible to understand behind his clamped fingers.

“What?” asked his Master.

“...so...stupid,” Obi-Wan burst out angrily through his tears. “I just... don’t feel well.”

“Don’t feel well?” Qui-Gon stared at his apprentice in confusion. “You’re sick? Obi-Wan, why didn’t you just go to the Halls?”

Obi-Wan shuddered. More tears slid down over his flushed cheeks. “I...I...I fell,” he said, sounding deeply uncertain. “I was working, and it was late, and I fell. I think I fell. I can’t walk. I can barely move. I don’t know how long it’s been—”

Qui-Gon was already moving, alarm ringing in his head like sirens. In two seconds he had Obi-Wan in his arms, cradled like a child, his head resting under Qui-Gon’s chin.

“You shouldn’t be this easy to carry,” he said tensely. “You haven’t had anything to eat or drink since you fell?”

“Some... some water,” Obi-Wan murmured. His skin was blazing hot against Qui-Gon’s, a sick and feverish heat. He had stopped crying — his tears seemed to have stemmed from a combination of confusion and shame, not pain — but he seemed on the verge of passing out. “I... I got some water... don’t remember when...”

“Stay awake,” Qui-Gon ordered. He was striding down the hallways, ignoring the few bystanders who watched them pass with bewilderment and concern. He did send a grateful nod to one young woman who raised her comm in her hand at him, asking a silent question, and at his gesture raised it to her lips and murmured ‘Tell the Healers that Master Jinn is bringing in his Padawan. Have someone ready.’

Obi-Wan murmured something vague.

“Stay awake,” insisted Qui-Gon. “Don’t fall asleep.”

Obi-Wan moaned but nodded, forcing his eyes to stay open. “I...I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize.” The words came out harsh and insincere in Qui-Gon’s urgency, and he realized it, because he dropped a swift kiss to the top of the fevered head in apology. Obi-Wan relaxed ever so slightly.

They arrived in the Halls of Healing and were immediately received by a Healer and his apprentice, who had Obi-Wan safely tucked in a bed and monitored in less than two minutes. Obi-Wan had closed his eyes against the bright light and seemed in danger of falling asleep again.

“Stay awake just a little longer, Padawan Kenobi,” the Healer instructed kindly. “I’m fairly sure of your diagnosis but I have to be more certain before I can administer treatment. Then you can sleep.”

“Yes, Healer,” rasped the young man.

Qui-Gon watched from the wall, his hands tucked deep in his sleeves to hide how they trembled. The shock of the last quarter hour was setting in, and he scrambled to keep his wits about him, worried about what this diagnosis might be. He still remembered Obi-Wan’s confusion about the day, his bewildered tears, and that memory was not going to be going away anytime soon.

He had been far too light in his arms.

Just how long had Obi-Wan been trapped in their rooms, unable to call for help and too confused to figure out a way around that? How long had he gone without eating and sleeping?

He found out.

An hour later, Obi-Wan was fast asleep, hooked up to an IV and blissfully pain-free due to a dose of pills he had managed to swallow. The Healer turned to Qui-Gon with a weary smile.

“You’re all right?” he asked.

“I’m fine. I’ve just returned from a mission, but I wasn’t hurt.”

“That’s good to know. I was asking about shock, however,” the Healer said gently. “I know this can’t have been a pleasant homecoming.”

Qui-Gon’s throat tightened, but he said nothing.

The Healer seemed to understand. “Obi-Wan has contracted a strain of the flu,” he explained, moving past the brief surge of emotion. “As you know, most strains of the flu are easily combated these days and many species have evolved or inoculated to the point where it’s hardly a concern. But sometimes the flu is stronger. In this case, it’s clear that it’s job was made easy. I don’t think Padawan Kenobi was eating or sleeping properly before the sickness began to set in. It would explain the severity of his malnutrition, and his confusion.”

Qui-Gon’s eyes flickered to the bed where Obi-Wan was sleeping, the fever still burning in his cheeks.

“...How long?” he asked.

“A few days at most,” the Healer said. “But I suspect it’s a habit that’s related to stress and overwork. Does Obi-Wan struggle with stress or insomnia?”

The Master hesitated a moment, opening his mouth to deny it, and then stopping to think better of it.

“...Maybe,” he admitted. The hesitation stung. Shouldn’t he know? “He’s very private with his habits when we’re in Temple. He prefers to study alone in his room, and we usually only manage to share one meal a day during his busier semesters, if that.”

The Healer nodded. He didn’t look or sound at all accusatory when he said, “That’s understandable. I’m going to suggest keeping a closer eye on that. Don’t force him out of his comfort zone, at least not right away, but make sure he understands that three square meals — or better yet, a light meal or snack every two or three hours — is expected of him. As is sleep.”

Qui-Gon nodded, his throat tightening again to the point of pain.

“Rest easy, Master Jinn,” said the Healer, briefly laying a supportive hand on the taller Jedi’s shoulder. “He’ll pull through this. The illness, and everything else. I believe it’s nothing more than a bad habit formed from good intentions. There are crueler demons out there.”

“Yes, I know,” said Qui-Gon. And he did know. One didn’t reach Jedi Mastery without learning the galaxy for what it was.

But he didn’t think he would ever quite move past the shock of today, of carrying his adult apprentice in his arms, sick to the point of tears and helplessness, and then discovering that he could possibly have prevented this if he had paid a little more attention to Obi-Wan’s work habits.

Well. They would, as the Healer said, overcome this.

Qui-Gon drew up a chair to the side of the bed, resolving to wait until Obi-Wan woke, and slowly reached out and set his hand next to his Padawan’s. After a moment, Obi-Wan stirred, and even in his sleep he gave a contented sigh and shifted his hand, his fingers searching blindly for his Master’s hand. Qui-Gon took it and held it tightly.

They had overcome so many things in nearly a decade together.

They could handle this.

And besides, Qui-Gon told himself, even after Obi-Wan was Knighted, he would always be here to watch his back.

He would never abandon Obi-Wan.

_

#spoiler alert he definitely did abandon obi-wan #but shhh for now it’s okay #star wars #star wars fic #my writing #writing prompts #angst #hurt/comfort #tw medical #tw neglect #tw bad eating habits #tw insomnia #poor self care #obi wan kenobi #qui gon jinn #qui gon and obi wan #just hug okay #more hugs needed #this got more angsty than I intended #hahaha whoops

[makeste]

Do you think Deku will ever get mad at All-Might for keeping so many secrets from him? Deku has been giving All-Might free passes on things he should have known about like AFO, previous holders of OFA and now that Tomura is Nana's grandson. It feels like AM needs to be held accountable at some point.

I think it’s likely; he’s gotten fairly mad at him about this before, back when All Might hid the truth about his falling-out with Nighteye.

and he’s probably going to feel a bit betrayed at the realization that All Might is still keeping things from him even after this conversation. and it’s not like it’s just small things, either; these are some pretty major things that Deku is still getting blindsided by as a result of All Might’s secrecy. it feels like AM hasn’t really learned his lesson at all and is still Dumbledoring his way through this mentorship.

but the thing is, I can understand All Might’s point of view here as well, and I get why he keeps doing it, even if I don’t agree with it. I’ve been meaning to write a post about this anyway, especially since it ties into the matter of the Fourth OFA User and his quirk, so let’s take a look at All Might’s ever-growing List of Secrets, because there’s a pattern there.

1. OFA

starting with the big one. now obviously Deku is very much in on this particular secret. however it is still a secret from just about everyone else, and it’s probably the one secret that All Might has been the most adamant about keeping, going to increasingly elaborate lengths even as it becomes more and more obvious that all of these efforts are eventually going to prove futile.

the thing is, it’s pretty obvious why he’s been trying so hard to keep the truth of Deku’s quirk hidden. OFA paints a huge target onto Deku’s back, one that would attract notice not just from the villain side, but from the hero side as well. OFA is basically the ultimate prize. it’s probably the most powerful quirk in existence, aside from AFO. and once word gets out that this power can be passed on to literally anyone simply at will, things could start getting very ugly.

Deku would suddenly come under pressure from all sides, with people trying to use and control him (well, I say “people”, but mainly I mean the HPSC sob). that’s if they see him as a useful tool and a weapon in the battle against the League, mind you. but if they decide that he’s not, or that he’s not ready, there would instead be pressure for him to give up OFA to a “worthier” candidate. either way, Deku himself isn’t going to be taken into account. his thoughts, his feelings, what he wants, what he deserves; none of that is going to matter to these people.

and these are the good guys, mind! that’s not even mentioning the villains, who have already destroyed an entire city in pursuit of him. Deku is in a lot of danger now. and so far, Tomura/AFO have been surprisingly honorable in their attempts to get ahold of OFA, in that they’ve been targeting Deku directly. but AFO is a notoriously underhanded guy, and it concerns me that there are a ton of more underhanded methods still on the table for him to try out. because we’ve already established that Deku is notoriously self-sacrificing. I mean literally notorious, as in both his friends and enemies alike have all picked up on this trait and made a note of it. so imagine if Tomura ever decides to take hostages, for instance. “give me OFA or I’ll kill so and so.” then what?? jesus.

so yeah, all in all it’s pretty clear why All Might has been exceedingly careful about keeping OFA a secret even from most of Deku’s allies. this isn’t even getting into the whole U.A. traitor thing as well, but I mean, you get the idea, right? the reason All Might has gone to such lengths to keep OFA a secret is to protect Deku.

2. AFO

and now we get to the first of many things that All Might kept hidden from Deku himself! and these are generally going to be a lot harder to defend. like yeah, you probably should have told this barely-pubescent child that that the quirk you were giving him came prepackaged with a built-in mortal enemy, All Might. might want to actually lead with that part next time.

so why didn’t he tell Deku about AFO? well first of all please understand that I’m not trying to justify this decision, lol; I’m just trying to rationalize it from All Might’s point of view. he was less than six years removed from his fateful battle with AFO in which the both of them were gravely injured. and yes, he said that he believed AFO had died from his wounds; but if he really thought that was true, why didn’t he listen to Nighteye and pass OFA on to someone else back then? why did he stubbornly stay in the field for as long as he could? his actions just don’t line up. if he really thought AFO was dead, you’d think he would have been able to retire in peace, as there wouldn’t have been such a great need for the Symbol anymore.

so honestly, what I’m learning towards here is that he didn’t really believe it, deep down. but once his powers really started to wane, he felt like he had no choice but to pass the quirk on to someone else and just hope for the best. and then, once he met Deku, I think he really started to want to believe it was true. because he empathized with Deku and he saw himself in him, and he wanted to give him that chance. Deku wanted so badly to be a hero, and All Might saw that he had the heart and the spirit of one, and only lacked the physical ability. and there All Might was, with a quirk he could bestow on him that could potentially make his dream come true. he wanted to believe he could do that. he convinced himself that the threat of AFO really was nonexistent -- after all, it had been six years! -- and that it wasn’t a burden he was passing down onto this child anymore, but a gift.

and so he didn’t tell Deku about AFO because he wanted to believe it wasn’t something Deku needed to know. so in this case it wasn’t just Deku he was essentially lying to, but himself as well. so yeah, not the best rationale in the world, but a very human mistake for him to make, and one that once again has its roots in wanting to protect Deku. or more precisely in this case, wanting to protect Deku’s dream. he wanted to believe it was all right for him to hand down this power which he so strongly believed that Deku deserved.

3. the Vestiges

honestly it’s a bit up in the air whether or not this one was really a secret, because All Might genuinely didn’t seem to realize that the Vestiges were conscious inside of OFA. or so he says at any rate. regardless, I’m going to include it in the list because he was definitely acting pretty cagey about the subject back during the sports festival, and I’ve never been fully satisfied with his explanation.

if you ask me? I think one of the reasons why he didn’t want to discuss this more in depth with Deku back then was because he was afraid it might inadvertently lead to some other topics that he wasn’t yet ready to discuss.

the idea of the previous OFA users living on inside the quirk is comforting in some ways, but that’s also a conversation that inevitably leads to the subject of AFO and AFO’s brother just for starters. not to mention Nana, whose death was deeply traumatizing for him and which I don’t think he was emotionally prepared to bring up just yet.

but I think the biggest factor that led to All Might being mum about this was the fact that he himself was included among the Vestiges. because I’m thinking he might have been a bit paranoid about avoiding a conversation like this:

All Might: “hey Midoriya-shounen, I just wanted to let you know that those weird little shadow figures you saw during your fight were the ghosts of the previous users of OFA, who are all living on inside of the quirk. my master once told me, 'even if I die one of these days, we can always meet again inside One for All.' so you know, that’s nice.”

Deku: “huh okay, so you’re telling me I have the souls of eight other people trapped inside my quirk, well that’s pretty trippy but I’m a weird little boy who lives for this kind of wild quirk shit so I’m okay with it! but it’s not like it matters though anyway since you’re still here to guide me haha! it’s not like you have any reason to suspect that might not be the case in the very near future, right?”

All Might: “...right.”

so yeah. once again, the reason for All Might keeping this a secret is because he doesn’t want to burden Deku. spoiler alert, the next two secrets also have the exact same reasoning behind them. in fact I’m just going to go and lump them both together.

4. Sir Nighteye, and 5. Sir Nighteye’s prophecy

so #4 is the one that actually finally set Deku off in the scene I posted earlier lol. and yeah, All Might should have told Deku, especially since it was inevitable that Deku was going to find out anyway. once he learned about Nighteye and All Might’s falling-out, him finding out about the prophecy was a given. and so once again I want to stress that I’m not actually trying to defend All Might’s decision here lol. just trying to relate to it.

anyway but that said, the reason why he didn’t tell Deku is pretty straightforward: he didn’t want to burden Deku with that knowledge. he knows Deku looks up to him. he knows that Deku looks to him for support. and All Might has spent his entire career doing everything he could to be that strong support for everybody, for the entire nation. he wants everyone to feel secure and safe. he wants nothing more than to be able to keep them safe. and it’s so hard, when you have that mindset, to let yourself show weakness and allow the cracks to show and to admit and accept that you can’t protect people from everything, no matter how bad you want to.

how do you tell the kid you’re mentoring, the kid who’s come to depend on you for so much, that there’s a good chance you might not be around much longer? that there’s a good chance he’ll be left to deal with everything all on his own, the same way that you were? how the hell do you even begin to approach that conversation? especially knowing what kind of person Deku is, on top of everything else. for a hero, someone who’s dedicated their whole life to helping and protecting others, nothing is more devastating than being told that something terrible is going to happen, and that no matter what, there is nothing you can do to change that fate. that alone would have been reason enough to not want Deku to know. he didn’t want him to experience that kind of helplessness.

and Deku is still just a kid!! Nighteye, a fully grown man and a hero with years of experience, completely fell apart after that prophecy. meanwhile Deku just started hero school less than a year ago. he’s only sixteen. he is far, far too young to have to deal with all of this. yes, he needed to know, both as a matter of trust and as a matter of practicality. but the fact that he needed to know is pretty fucking cruel on the universe’s part, and I get why All Might was so reluctant to tell him. I get it.

side note!! I feel like it’s worth mentioning that this one is still a secret as far as a certain other person goes. like, I feel that’s pretty noteworthy. pretty much every other person who knows about OFA also knew about Nighteye’s prophecy, including Rat Principal, Recovery Girl, Gran Torino, and Nighteye himself. (although it’s not clear whether or not Naomasa knows, come to think of it. but it’s likely, since All Might probably physically can’t lie to him lol.) and of course, Deku now knows as well.

but aside from Naomasa, there is one other person who’s notably missing from that list.

Kacchan knows about OFA and AFO, but neither All Might nor Deku have told him about the prophecy. even though Katsuki has firmly elbowed his way into the OFA Scooby Squad and knows about all sorts of other things including SIXQUIRKS and the Vestiges and all that jazz, and he’s been helping Deku train and has been included in pretty much everything for months now, he still doesn’t know about this.

and honestly, this might be the one time where I actually agree with All Might’s decision. I say that as someone who loves Katsuki to pieces and very much wants him to find out about this, because I’m mean and because I love angst. but once again, I get it, though. because you probably don’t want to tell the kid who was thinking this...

...that at the time, when you came to save him back at Kamino, you were thinking something like this:

yeah. I’m just saying. I don’t think it does Katsuki much benefit to know that All Might originally went out to Kamino fully expecting that it would be his last battle, and fully prepared to die the horrible death that Nighteye foretold. like, on the one hand there’s definitely an argument to be made that Katsuki should know about the prophecy just so that he’s prepared in case anything does happen, because he would then be the one to have to step up and replace All Might as Deku’s primary support. (and this is something All Might already seems to have been grooming him for in recent months, which is a bit of a red flag as far as All Might’s mortality prospects are concerned, but that’s another discussion for another day.)

but on the other hand, Katsuki is a pretty smart kid. and if and when he does find out about this, there’s a good chance he’s going to connect the dots and realize that Kamino was actually a hell of a lot riskier than All Might ever let on. and there’s close to a 100% chance that he starts blaming himself all over again if he ever learns that. I don’t think it would set him back too much, because he’s made a lot of progress, but I do think that even now it’s still something that he feels a lot of responsibility for. and so really this is just an additional burden that he doesn’t need to be carrying on his shoulders. Deku’s not the only one who’s still just a kid.

anyway! so tl;dr this is yet another case where All Might was keeping something a secret because he didn’t want to burden Deku. and is, in fact, STILL keeping it secret from Katsuki because he doesn’t want to burden him, either. basically just trying to protect both of these kids here.

6. Nana’s relation to Tomura

almost done with the list now! for real though, it’s crazy how many of these there are. how can one man have so many secrets. like seriously, calm the fuck down, All Might.

so! again, Deku should arguably have been told this as soon as it became clear that the responsibility of dealing with AFO and Tomura was going to fall to him. except, I guess, the thing is they didn’t think it was going to fall to him. or at least they hoped it wouldn’t. AFO was in Tartarus, and Naomasa and Gran were planning on hunting down Tomura and the League themselves. and Deku is just a high school kid with an internship. so in an ideal world, he would have never gotten near Tomura, and vice-versa. the adult heroes in BnHA may be inept as fuck, but I’ll give them credit where due: none of them wanted this kind of responsibility to ever fall on any of the kids until they were ready. even during this arc, the kids were all originally assigned to the evacuation teams, and the handful who were on the front lines were there because it was essential to the mission. and even then they pretty much had assigned babysitters (Midnight, Fatgum, etc.) shadowing them the whole time and ready to haul them back out as soon as their tasks were accomplished. like, don’t get me wrong, the child soldiers thing was and is still very fucked up, lol. but they were clearly trying to keep them out of harm’s way.

anyway! and so of course this applies to Deku as well. never mind that he’s All Might’s heir and well on his way to becoming more powerful than anyone could have ever dreamed. he’s still just a teenager. and we don’t send teenagers out to hunt the bad guys. we leave that to the adults, supposedly. and so in these guys’ minds, there really wasn’t any reason to tell Deku about the whole Nana/Tomura connection, because even if it was true, in their minds it’s not really relevant to Deku. they weren’t planning on him and Tomura becoming arch-nemeses. and so it was really just another thing that All Might presumably didn’t want to burden him with at the end of the day. “by the way, Midoriya-shounen, you should know there’s a possibility that Shigaraki Tomura is actually the grandson of my late mentor whom All for One killed.” that’s basically just a very unfun fact that Deku can do absolutely nothing about, except feel bad about it. it doesn’t change the fact that Tomura is still a mass murderer who’s eventually going to have to be captured or killed. so in All Might’s mind there’s really no benefit to telling Deku about any of this.

anyway! and so now finally, last but not least,

7. the Fourth OFA User

so now we finally get to the one secret we don’t actually know yet! OFA IV, and his whole mysterious deal.

All Might, after doing all that research on the previous OFA users and their quirks, suddenly changed his mind at the last second and decided not to tell Deku about this one specific user and his quirk (and notably, his cause of death). why is that?? “I don’t want to speculate and talk about things I’m not sure of...” really?? so you think the better option is for him to be unprepared and to not have any idea of what’s coming, then??

no, seriously. I’m seriously asking that. does All Might, in fact, think that it’s actually a better option for Deku to not know anything about the fourth user than for him to be aware of it. I am genuinely asking that question, because I truly suspect that this might actually be the case.

because, you see, that’s the pattern. if you look at all the other things he’s kept hidden either from Deku, or from others on Deku’s behalf, that’s the one thing they all have in common. he kept them secret in order to protect Deku. either to shelter him from the burden, or to keep him safe from people who might try to do him harm.

so I think it’s safe to say that even though we know absolutely nothing about this particular secret yet, it’s still going to follow that same pattern. All Might isn’t telling Deku about the Fourth yet either because he doesn’t want to burden him with something, or because he thinks there’s some other reason why Deku is better off not knowing.

here are a few other things we can extrapolate here:

All Might’s next line after this is “because I’m worried for him”, so yeah. whatever the reason, he’s trying to protect Deku somehow.

All Might has a history of avoiding truths he’s not ready to face yet, such as AFO still being alive. so even though he says here that he’s “not sure of” whatever it is he found, it’s very possible that he is in fact pretty sure of it, but just doesn’t want to believe it.

the fact that he wrote something down but then crossed it out would seem to support that as well. he says “not yet”, but I’m definitely not convinced that’s actually the case.

whatever this secret about the fourth user is, it’s something All Might isn’t willing to tell Katsuki either, even though Katsuki specifically presses him about it. this makes me think that it’s not just something shady or unpleasant about the fourth user’s past (like him being a villain for instance), because if it was just something like that, I don’t think he’d be so insistent on hiding it from Katsuki as well. and also that wouldn’t explain why he’s keeping the quirk a secret, especially since he knows Deku is going to manifest it at some point.

so my thinking is that it’s not something about the Fourth’s history, but rather something about his quirk. and after all, the Vestige storyline is mainly about the SIXQUIRKS anyway, so that tracks. and so if it is something related to the Fourth’s quirk, and this something also convinced All Might to hide the Fourth’s cause of death, I think the most likely explanation is that something about the Fourth’s quirk ended up killing him, and All Might fears that this quirk could potentially harm or kill Deku as well.

“but if the Fourth’s quirk is potentially dangerous, then wouldn’t it make more sense to tell Deku about it so that he can be prepared?” well, yeah. definitely it would. unless, of course, All Might has somehow concluded that the danger to Deku is actually GREATER if he knows than if he doesn’t know. in other words, the risk of the quirk manifesting with Deku unaware of what it is, is outweighed by the risk of Deku knowing and manifesting it on purpose.

and this, I think, is where the rest of Katsuki’s conversation with All Might in ch 284 comes into play:

All Might has no doubt observed the same thing himself. and so what I’m thinking is that this must be some kind of super high-risk, high-reward quirk that Deku, if he knew about it, would be tempted to use while battling someone like Tomura, even knowing there was a risk of it hurting or even killing him as well. this is Deku, after all. Deku, who takes himself out of the equation. Deku, who is ALREADY pushing himself to extremes with OFA and has been doing so from the start. Deku, who barring a miracle will be lucky to have even 1/10th of the normal function in his arms when this arc is said and done. and that’s just with normal, everyday OFA and Blackwhip and Float. if you were to go and add some sort of super-self-destruct quirk on top of all that?? jesus christ. they’d be picking up the pieces of what was left of him, probably.

so yeah. if this really does turn out to be the case, and the Fourth’s quirk really is a potential suicide quirk? I could absolutely understand why All Might would keep that hidden from him. once again, it’s all about protecting him and keeping him safe.

and it’s problematic though, for sure! and most likely futile just like all of his other secret-keeping efforts have been. at some point he’s just going to have to start trusting Deku to handle this stuff, and letting him know these things. like it or not, he’s not going to be a kid forever, and Destiny is currently being Thrust Upon Him at a fairly alarming rate! pretending like all of these threats will just magically go away all on their own is not it. if you didn’t want peril lusting over him at every corner then you shouldn’t have chosen a motherfucking Shounen Protag as your motherfucking heir, my dude.

anyway! so those are all of my thoughts about All Might and his secrets. I do think Deku is gonna call him out on it again soon, and I think All Might will be apologetic for not telling him about Tomura and Nana, but I don’t know if it will be enough to finally get him to change his ways and reveal everything else. he is an overprotective dad filled with anxiety over his trouble magnet son and his arm-exploding ways, and it’s a tough position for him to be in, knowing that either way there will be pain that Deku can’t avoid. it’s rough. anyways, maybe I’m too soft, but while I don’t necessarily want him to just keep getting free passes on everything, I kind of hope they don’t rake him over the coals too badly for it either. he means well!! he is doing his best. hopefully they can manage to talk it out, sob.

#bnha #boku no hero academia #all might #midoriya izuku #bakugou katsuki #bnha meta #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #asks #anon asks #I'm so behind on my metas that while everyone else is posting about dabi and enji #I'm only just now getting around to organizing my thoughts on stuff that was revealed seven chapters ago lol #ah well #no chapter this week so I'll have some time to catch up maybe

[onlythebrave-mp3]

my top 2020 fics!

okay! so i recently jumped back into this fandom after a couple of years, and started reading fic again, and i wanted to rec some of my favorites that were written this year. there’s ten on this list, and i probably could’ve done like 30 but this is already so long lol. it’s kind of in a general order, so #1 is my fav for this year, but i tried not to focus on the ranking too much because it stresses me out and i don’t need any more anxiety so it’s ended up being a pretty vague system.

1.  Our Lives, Non-Fiction (113k) by @indiaalphawhiskey 

listen. I’ve reblogged this fic like 10 times. I’ve read it twice already and it came out less than 3 weeks ago. It is an instant classic, right up there with fics like TIF or Wear it like a Crown. It has gorgeous, gorgeous writing, a thoroughly developed plot and well written character development, and such a compelling story. It is a marcel/louis fic, and I usually shy away from that kind of thing, but i’m so glad i didn’t this time because god, this one is so good. Seriously, if anyone ends up reading it, come and rant to me about it and we can cry together. Halfway through the second chapter, I created a note on my phone so I could keep track of everything I loved, and my comment on that fic is essentially a love letter to @indiaalphawhiskey. It's just so good. If you’re going to read one fic off this list, read this one. 

2. Loving You's a Bloodsport (106k) by @rosesau

okay i’m pretty sure this one made me cry like four times, which is a feat for me because i’m not usually a crier. Its soulmates with a little bit of a twist, and the plot is so well developed. Harry and louis’ feelings and their progression are written so vividly and i wish i could forget that i read it so i could go and read it again for the first time. It's also got some enemies to lovers, which is my favorite trope, and all of the side characters are beautifully developed as well. Prince!Harry, soldier!Louis, angsty soulmates. What more could you want? Oh and if you’re not convinced enough, here is a quote that fucking follows me around because its so beautiful: “Love and hate are two sharp knives balanced on a very fine line and I’ve cut myself on both because of you.” (ohmygod)

3. Mine Would Be You (114k) by @crinkle-eyed-boo

okay this one is listed at number three but it really should be 1c lol. I started this one at 11 pm like an idiot, and i don’t think i slept that night at all. It's Exes to lovers, and it's so well written. It switches between the past and the present, it's  heartbreakingly beautiful, the breakup and resolution are both so realistically written as well, and there's a great ot5 plotline too that i really loved. This one was also an instant classic- i bookmarked it before i even finished reading it. It's also got beautiful art and Louis and Harry are both artists in NYC, which I'm a slut for. Please read this one, it's so good.

okay i just realized how long this got so i’m putting the rest under the cut

4. The Murmur of Yearning (93k) by @mediawhorefics (for some reason tumblr isn’t letting me tag them??) | mediawhore on ao3 

I just finished this one, and my goddddddd it's so good. I read it in a day, and it's essentially 100k. Which isn’t that unusual for me except I did skip a class to get through it (an exam prep class. Not my finest moment but I passed. so.) There are tons of original characters that draw you in, and the whole world that is created is so fascinating and detailed. There's also no homophobia, so if you like historical fics but get triggered by that kind of thing, this is for you! Also, if you’re worried about the non-con elements, I'm sure you could message the author but also feel free to check in with me! I’ll definitely be rereading it in the near future and am totally up for discussing and crying over this fic with anyone.

5. Remember Me Fondly by @bluejeanlouis | kiddle on ao3 

ahhhhhhh this one made me sob too! It's set in both the present and the past, and I fell in love with all of the characters. This one is also heartbreaking, but I promise there’s a happy ending. Also, they way this fic deals with the fame and the homophobia and tours that harry and louis went through -even if it isn’t actually canon and is set in the 90s- is so vividly painful and realistic. It's written half through a journalist’s eyes and half through harry and louis, yet the switch in pov is so seamless and fluid and adds so much to the piece. 11/10.

6. Nothing But You On My Mind (83k) by @absoloutenonsense | nonsensedarling on ao3

okay. I started this in the middle of the night, and told myself I'd read one chapter to see if I liked it and then I would go to sleep. I'm pretty sure I read like 6. It sucks you in right from the beginning, and there's such a well developed plot. And it's so unpredictable and all of the details are so nuanced and tiny and then you look back at everything after you’ve finished it and go oh. Ohhhhhh. This one is also enemies to lovers. Are we sensing a pattern here?

7. An Invincible Summer (44k) by @twopoppies | Brooklyn_Babylon on ao3 

so as you can see this one is only 45k but i just love it so much that i’m rec’ing in anyways. It’s such a gentle, exploratory piece of literal art, and I kind of want to stay in the world that was created forever. Its set in the 1940s on a farm and i know @twopoppies has said that it started off as an excuse for barn sex, but it such a vivid story and its heartbreaking and emotional and uplifting all at once and please please please go read this. The only critique I have of it is that it's only 40k.

8. Somewhere in Between Lightning (99k) by @nauticalleeds, @shiningdistraction, and jassy117 on ao3

So this one's exes-to-lovers as well, and it's written in such a realistic way. Also i’m in love with the concept of louis on love island, despite the fact that he said he hates it. There's a sauna scene that I still think about sometimes. It's got just the right amount of angst and fluff and pining and despite the fact that it's set on a show that is usually pretty dramatic and unrealistic, this is written in a really beautiful but pragmatic way. I love it. i’ve got it  downloaded on my phone so I can read little snippets of it sometimes if I have to wait somewhere.

9. You’ve Got My Devotion (Hate You Sometimes) (95k) by @harryrainbows | lucythegoosey on ao3 

god so this one incorporates some of Fine Line into it, and wouldn’t say it's a song fic so much as it is written as a canon compliant fic that ties harry’s songs into it and its done so fucking well oh my god. Harry and Louis are exes in this one too (lol i'm sorry) and the build up of them getting together and the pining and longing is written really well.

10. At Risk, I Fold (15k) by @bearmustard | clare328 on ao3 

so i know this one is only 15k, but I put this in the list anyways. It's canon compliant, and it does mention the stunts (as stunts), but don’t let that deter you. Harry and Louis are written almost exactly as i’ve imagined them, and this one is such a heartbreaking look into the resilience and love and bravery that they have. It made me cry despite the fact that it’s not really a glum fic. The only reason it is last on the list is because it's shorter and i was mostly intending this to be a long fic rec. The love that they have for each other really shines through in this one, and it’s super gentle and soft and sad and happy all at once and just please go read it.

#my fic rec #hoping this doesnt flop lol #if people like this i might do more #we'll see lmao #also #if you ask me who tops/bottoms #in any of these fics #you owe me $10 #reading fics specifically for who takes it up the arse is weird <3

[larrydoinglaundry]

Annual Writing Self-Evaluation

Thank you @larrysballetslippers  for tagging me.

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 4

2. Word count posted for the year: 136552

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction

4. Pairings: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: This Chemistry Like Candy to Me

Bookmarks: This Chemistry Like Candy to Me

Comments: This Chemistry Like Candy to Me

More under the cut.

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why):

You were a beam of light, lit up my broken sky, let's call it You were a beam of light now lmao. It was my first long fic for this fandom and I was, and still am, proud of how I wrote kink exploration and Louis' progress as a dom. I think they have a really healthy relationship.

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why):  Noooo don't want to do this. I'm proud of each work for different reasons and I'm very attached to them all.

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

I need to share two! These ones, as well as all my favorite reviews, is for You were a beam of light. People seem to love the way h&l communicate and support each other and that's all I wanted - to show a healthy relationship where you can be exactly who you are.

Oh my, i love it so much. As in. You dont know how much this affected me haha. I dont even know how to explain myself without sounding like an idiot hahahaha but damn it this fic is definitely going to my top fave fics. Its so well written and well done. Fluff? Chefs kiss, The communication? Chefs kiss, smut? CHEFS FCKING KISS!!!! You just raise the fcking bar for any fic that has bdsm for me hahahaha also i know I already commented it but you made me realized what kind of kinks i might have hahaha ya wann know the top of my kink? COMMUNICATION!!! So many problems/arguments solved by talking and listening. AHHHHHKKKKK thank you for this, hope you are having a fcking good day!!!!

Another one here, not the entire comment because it was long.

 I LOVED the scene where Louis went to go visit Harry at work (*blushes* and also the wedding escapade + Harry being Louis good girl). I really appreciated that you chose to make Harry non-binary and it was lovely to see the conversation between him and Louis. It was very sweet to see Louis support Harry in that moment and in the story overall. On that topic, I loved seeing how you made Harry and Louis a supportive unit for each other. Like they were so good at communicating with each other throughout and even when they sometimes weren’t (like with the caning) they were able to get to that point where they could talk things out. I can tell you put a lot of effort on developing the characters (Harry and Louis ex, their friends, etc

9. A time when writing was really, really hard:

A really devastating period not too long ago when I was writing a fic I haven't yet published while trying to also make progress with my thesis. I think I mentioned before that writing just got to a point where it wasn't fun. I forced myself to write instead of giving up but I definitely did it while sobbing uncontrollably in frustration over my own "poorly told story", grammar and boring plots lol.

I got over it, lmao. I love my current work more than I've ever loved any of my works. Thank you Cait for being the best person ever and being so patient. Your very necessary yet gentle criticism has been vital.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: Figging scene in You were a beam of light🙈 It wasn't part of the original plan haha.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

Hmm! There are so many in my not yet published work.

But if I'm thinking about published works,,, my most recent Christmas fic had some themes that have touched me more or less personally, so I'll choose this;

“These past few weeks that you’ve lived here, every time I get home from an early shift, you’re outside playing with Alex. Paying attention and being present, unlike lots of other people," Louis explains, stroking Harry's leg with his thumb, "You involve him when you bake, you purr when you breastfeed him. I can see how much you love being a mother and you being tired, feeling excited about getting to spend some time away from him or you not being able to buy a kitchen set for him does not make you a bad mother.”

12. How did you grow as a writer this year:

Oh, wow. Uh. Writing wise,,, Grammar. It has gotten so much better. Maybe narratating, too? I don't know, my works feel richer in many ways. I'm still very critical of my works but I think certain emotions come across better. The smut is fire, in my opinion at least lmao.

13. How do you hope to grow next year:

To further broaden my vocabulary, my narratating skills and my story planning skills. I want to be able to further enrich my dialogues.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

My beta for long fics aka Cait @stylesthebrave ❤️ I also absolutely love how much excitement Mia @brightgolden has shown for my upcoming work haha.

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year?

Yes but I don't want to elaborate 🙃 Keep on guessing!

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

I don't think I'm the right person to share any wisdom😭 But I mean,,,

Take a breath. Relax. It's okay.

Writing can be frustrating for many reasons. Maybe your writing doesn't meet your own expectations. Maybe you don't get the amount of kudos you wish, or as many reviews as you think you'd deserve. Don't base your writing joy on something that comes from the outside. Base it on what comes from the inside. Write because you want to, not because you feel like you have to. Inner motivation is much more powerful than outer.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: 

My Silver Fox aka Actor Louis fic !! It's so close to being finished. Gas me up guys, gals and non-binary pals so I get the mighty force and motivation to finish it😭

Also excited for writing Girl direction for the first time! Love me some tender girl on girl love. With a twist though - it's ABO. So excited to see what I can do with that verse with F/F.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

Who has done this already? I don't know💀

@stylesthebrave @brightgolden @jacaranda-bloom @hershelsue @neondiamond @larry-hiatus @absoloutenonsense

#ask games #my writing

[lol-q]

There’s so many things I love about the show that I haven’t seen people give enough credit for and I want to go on a little ramble because people are focusing so much on what they don’t like vs. what they do. So here’s my list. Sorry for the grammatical errors 😬

I love that the lesbian main character is this sweet, innocent, big hearted young woman and not portrayed as a overly sexual fuckboi that hits on every woman. I love that Fatou is soft and gentle. More lesbian rep like that please

I love the soundtrack. It’s exactly the type of stuff I imagine Fatou would listen to and it’s not just the top 100 hit songs.

I love that they use the soundtrack as a way to connect to the plot line, like the lyrics to the song Fatou was listening to when she was on the rooftop said “And I hate to leave you feeling all alone.But your story cannot start until you've grown. You can find how to be OK on your own. I just can't be the one that makes you feel at home” which was a hint as to where the plot was going

^^ also the song playing during Kieu My and Fatou’s museum date

I love the little mannerisms Nhungi chooses to show as Kieu My. The happy little bounce she did in ep 1 when she called out Fatou’s name and when she subtly checked Fatou out by looking her up and down.

I love how their rooms show their individual personality so well. Like Fatou’s room in the beginning of the season was normal and then it became increasingly messy as the episodes moved forward, showing her stress and chaos in her life

I love the height difference between Fatou and her brother lol

I love when her brother and her were thinking of what to get their parents so they split the bill on a gift - a very subtle way of showing siblings interacting

I love when Fatou and Ismail interact cuz it’s so funny

I love the physics teachers speaking voice, he sounds like kermit the frog

I love fatou’s eyebrows. Idk it’s just so perfect. Give me tips plz

I love that the characters rewear clothing. And it’s not a show where every episode is a new outfit with new clothes. Very realistic and it always bothered me when teens on highschool on tv have new clothes every episode

I love that Fatou’s original bio on tinder was “wanna cuddle?”. I feel like that girl would rather cuddle with someone than win the lottery. She’s so soft (also why did it say she was 24 in ep 2 when she was on tinder lol)

I love that the show showed the struggles of coming from a bilingual family and being the only one that struggles to speak it. When fatou was talking to her grandparents with her brother and her brother had to translate for her and it was awkward af, I felt that. I’m the youngest in my family and I struggle to speak Tagalog so people have to translate for me sometimes and it sucks.

^^ I relate to fatou so much in that scene cuz the dynamic in my family is the same as Fatou’s. My parents lay off and let me and my brother do our thing unless there’s an indication we need their help. The only time I ever spoke about school with my family was when report cards would come and they would see my grades weren’t that good. I remember my mom seeing I had a D in middle school and automatically jumping to conclusiosn without letting me speak. My brother is academically successful and he would also try and get me to do more school stuff when I was younger. Like he would make me do math problems to help with my grades. So it’s all very relatable for me

I love when Fatou sings, her voice is so soft and smooth.

I love whenever Kieu My and fatou are flirting both so blatantly and yet so subtly. Like the tension is there but it’s still awkward despite how smooth they both try to be it’s so adorable

I love how Fatou and Kieu My are so confident flirting and talking to eachother through texting but when it’s irl it’s still awkward and new. It shows the reality of an actual relationship in the making. It’s not just a full head dive into “I love you”.

I love when they were at the table tennis bar place and Fatou was hyping up Ava when there were dudes looking at them and Ava did a fancy ass turn and smile. She’s so pretty

I love that Fatou’s problems were shown in subtle ways in the beginning with money. Counting money at her job and when she wa trying to pay for the drink at the bar. It was a small interaction but in real life it would cause a lot of stress and anxiety if money counting problems kept happening over and over again

I love Yara and Josh’s friendship. More platonic friendship between a male and a female please. Also more Yara in general please.

I love that Zoe owned up to her actions last year to the entire group (minus Ismail Constantine and Kieu my) on New Years. I see her owning up to the role as Nora’s big sister.

I love when Josh was drinking a lot during New Years and Fatou was trying to get him to slow down. It shows how big her heart is for her friends. Also I think Josh and Fatou could be great friends

I love that Kieu My looks at Fatou like she hung the stars. When Fatou mentioned she knew Kieu My was a Scorpio, it’s the first time I’ve ever seen that girl smiled so big (before episode 5 of course)

I love that whenever they kiss Kieu my is smiling.

I love Sira’s side profile. There I said it. Girl has the jawline of a Greek goddess.

I love that they change Fatou’s hair. She looks good in every hair style but it’s always nice to see her in different styles.

I love that they showed the struggles of being a passive and gentle person. Because we’re not assertive in regular everyday life we are easily looked over. And it’s hard for us to muster the gusto to be assertive and take what we need because we prefer shying away from conflict and just letting things flow. I relate to fatou’s character so much in that sense. I lowkey think this is the universe’s way of telling me to stop being so passive about life and to take charge idk.

I love that the topic of white savior and performative activism was touched on. And I love that it was between two friends because it’s very realistic to how dynamics work between young people these days. The way they handle it differs in opinion but the fact that they even spoke about it was great.

I love that moment when Kieu My wrapped the vietnamese pancake in the lettuce snd handed it to Fatou. Its so sweet. If I was Fatou I would have forgiven her right then and there lol

I LOVE THE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWo. YES MORE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE.

Episode 6. Just all of it. Even the angsty part. I want more of that. Episode 6 yes. I’ll marry episode 6

Kieu My wearing Fatou’s cardigan. 💕💕💕💕💕💕✨✨✨✨✨😫😫💕✨✨🥺

^^ but also as a person that tried bangs before, you can’t tell me that girl woke up with her bangs perfectly in place lol. This girl probably bought a mini straightener or something too

Fatou telling Kieu My it doesn’t matter if she wears make up or not rather than going off on how she looks prettier without it. She’s just like “it doesn’t matter. You’re pretty no matter what, my little space nerd”

Pissed off fatou is a hot fatou. Js

I love Sira’s acting in general. But the way she shows Fatou’s sadness is great. It’s not just tears and that’s it. When she got fired it was a build up of tears but she wasn’t sobbing, same thing with the cashqueens argument. But she broke when her and Kieu My got in a fight.

Finn being socially awkward. It’s so funny cuz Zoe is this bubbly party girl and her boyfriend is so awkward. Nice balance.

^^also his hair makes me laugh idk why

Ismail opening up to Fatou shows how so many people feel at ease with her. Girl has a calming presence for everybody, she doesn’t even realize how much she’s helped others.

I love that Constantine wears the same jacket over and over again. Idk it seems to fit his character.

^^also kudos to the actor who plays him, he’s doing an amazing job

Love Fatou. Love her dimples and her soft voice. She gets all high pitched when she’s normally speaking but when she was fighting with Kieu My her voice became lower. Just love the way Sira’s voice sounds. Also Nhungi’s speaking voice.

Love the shaky camera movements. The fast pans and the slow motion dance scenes.

Love the aesthetic of Kieu My smoking but PLEASE DONT SMOKE, CHILDREN. ITS BAD FOR YOU.

Love the different aesthetics of the cashqueens

Love maike. Great actress. Give this turtle an Oscar.

Love Kieu My climbing the roof to help her Fatou. Softie to her girlfriend but an ice queen to the world lol.

Love the actors. Love the characters. It just makes me so happy.

This is so well written, i might actually cry no but really it was really nice to read your positive and cuteee facts after the tag check :/ and it really helped because i get mad and sad when i see bad takes. Everything you said was so true and i think im fangirling over this essay. And it made me emotional 👉👈.  Represantation does really matter.

This season is so important for so many people and i don’t think some people realize that when they’re ‘’criticizing’’ some things. Not only we have a lesbian main, we have a black lesbian main who is the softest person in the world and she has LD and/or ADHD. I sometimes can’t believe we got to the point of skamverse where we get rep instead of hurtful,problematic seasons and plots, some might interpret that as shade but it really isn’t, careless storylines really does hurt ppl and why would you want to hurt people when you can give 8 min of sapphic museum date instead 👭🌌 :)

i love this season, i love this gen and i love this essay

#no but i could go one by one and talk about everything you numbered #but im not gonna for the sake of other ppl #because everyone hates long post #people were really so cute in my asks today instead of defending constantin so that was nice👍 #i do the others later #but this was so cute stopppp #shut up about my grammer!! #do not talk about my grammer #druck #ask

[mushrooms-empire]

I feel like writing some little head cannons about Sander Sides. Rn it’s about some pets they’d most likely have.

Asks/requests are open but no set dates on completions or if I’ll even do em lol.

Patton/Morality:

• I feel like, despite all the talk about cats and dogs, of all other things. This guy would rather have a bird, maybe even a fish on the side lines? First bird he’d take would more than likely be a rescue, maybe a little finch that flown into Virgils window? (Giving the poor man a great scare)

• Patton, once calming Virgil and himself down, runs to the injured finch. Definitely the one to absolutely scream and cry while asking (pleading) Logan to help the little birdy.

• once Logan assessed said bird, proving there was only a broken wing and sore muscles. Patton has to start his pleads and begs to keep the little finch,

• “…Nurse her back to health!” Was the line that got the other sides to relent.

• Oh how they regretted that soon after.

•Burds are one noisemakers. Especially this little girl, nights are her preferred time to be singing and hopping around Pattons room.

•That was the one catch they others gave him, bird has to stay in his room.

•That was soon forgotten.

•The sides can’t exactly pinpoint when said catch was forgotten, they all found out at different times.

Roman found out when he collapsed onto the couch after a long day of helping Thomas remember his lines in a musical he promised to help with. All he wanted to do was rest, barely hanging onto the last thread of consciousness he hardly noticed the soft feathery touches.

Didn’t even bother with the slight weight on his body, bouncing along until reaching his chest where it stopped and settled.

Only when hearing the small trademark gasp of Patton seeing something he positively loved got him to crack open his eyes.

A tiny little finch with a makeshift popsicle stick splint on its wing. Settled down nuzzled into the fur of Romans jacket from the play.

As much as he was annoyed at Patton for bringing the bird outside of his room, he couldn’t deny with he thought. “Oh my lands! This little being is positively the most adorable being I’ve even laid eyes on! Despite myself of course-“

Logan knew Patton was going to break the request sooner rather than later.

He must admit though, Patton lasted longer than he first expected.

But still, he wasn’t at all surprised when he wondered into the living room early in the morning, expecting to be the only one up at this ungodly hour. Only to find Patton curled up on the couch in his favorite onesie, little dastardly finch nestled in the crook of Pattons neck. Sitting perfectly on his shoulder, occasionally pecking at the many golden strands of hair. (Patton stated he’d like to grow out his hair, no one took him seriously at first. That only made him want to do it more.)

The right brain side didn’t even mention the tweeting bird, choosing to make his much needed morning tea to even comprehend what’s going on.

Steaming cup of green tea,  two sugar cubes just how he likes it, plopping down on the opposite corner of the sofa with book in hand. “Good morning Patton, Fringillidae.”

Patton was half way through his usual cheerful greeting before pausing, glancing at his land locked feather friend, then back to Logan. “…what did you call her?”

Logan, never glancing up from his book, responds with a small grin. “Fringillidae, it is the science name of the finch species. Take from that what you will, does not mean we are keeping it.” The last part scurries in there after seeing how fast the left brain side eyes light up. “Ooo Logie! That’s such a long name but I think the end would work for her! Dae…I like that!”

Virgil, already hated that little glorified feather duster for spinning him into an even deeper anxiety attack. (Flew into his window, remember folks?)

Then finding out the awaiting to be a new feather filled couch pillow likes to sing, at one and till seven in the morning? Oh oh oh your time is limited, Dae.

Just flat out didn’t come anywhere near Pattons new little play thing for at least two weeks. Two weeks after the others properly meet her.

When he eventually had yet another, admittedly very bad, anxiety attack one night. He completely forgotten his stubborn streak, the last thought in his worry filled mind was about the dastardly cunning finch.

Pattons door was always open for anything, at anytime, for anyone. Until now Virgil never openly came in, sure he confided in the fatherly side countless times before, everyone has. Though he never expected himself to be walking into the kindest sides room teetering on the edge of a full blown breakdown.

Patton, with his sleep schedule completely thrown out the window thanks to some little feather being. Was still up when his self proclaimed spooky son walked in, shaking legs barely managing to hold himself up with a hand over his mouth and a cold sweat drenching his blank tank top.

You better bet Patton was on his feet in an instant, leading the panicking, mumbling side to his bed. Knocking the countless stuff animals and pillows to the floor, laying Virgil down on the soft comforter, grabbing the black fuzzy body pillow he bought purely for this more and more common scene.

Managing to sit down and pull the creepy loving purplettes head into his lap just before the full effect of the attack came crushing down. Hugging the body pillow as close to him as physically possible, shakes and sobs racking his pale body..

Neither takes notice of the bouncing birdy slowly making her way to the two. Dae had a mission.

Said mission came to an abrupt halt as soon as she reached the bed. Even so, she was determined.

Patton, just cooing and threading his slim finger through Virgils soft hair. Noting he’d have to bother Thomas about more dye soon. Virgils sobs and shakes, twitches along with occasional hiccups broke Pattons too big of a heart.

Wrapped up in separate thoughts, they didn’t notice the tiny beats of wings, sound of a popsicles stick splint sliding across the floor and as faster than they could comprehend there is a little ball of feathers nuzzling Virgils neck. Settling down on the fluffy black pillow, resting her wing  over Virgils cheek. Slow lying rubbing the soft feathers across the over heated skin, helping ground the anxiety ridden man back to earth.

Needless to say, after that night no one complained of early morning singing and the smell of bird seed in the kitchen.

That was my first go at any of these head cannonsc might do the others later. It’s 10:06 now and I have school tomorrow, started this at like, eight. So yeah, sleepy time. 🥱

#sander sides #patton sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #thomas sanders #birds of prey #birds #slight angst #rescue #creative

[saffronwritings]

An Accident that Defines You

Pairing: Villain Deku x reader

Warnings: Uhhhhhh angst? LOL

A/N: This is something i wrote before starting all of my newer stuff. I really enjoy the thought of Villain!Deku for some reason.. This is also where the character has a quirk to deactivate their own and other’s hearing. It’s explained in the one-shot. 

“Izuku, it’s not safe here!” I shouted towards him as we continued to fight off the attacking villains. “We need to get these people out of here and take the battle elsewhere!” Iida shouted after me. We agreed to get the remaining civilians out of the fight zone. I quickly activated my quirk to distract two of the attacking villains I could see within range.

I huddled together three of the civilians in my area and took them towards a separate building. “Ma’am, are we going to survive this attack?” One of the gentlemen asked in a panicked state. “You have some of the best students from UA in the area. You are all going to be safe with us.” I smiled at him reassuringly. With the use of my quirk on two villains, my own hearing started to diminish. I knew better than to attempt more than one person at a time.

Aizawa warned me of the over usage of my own quirk. I knew the dangers that it possessed. However, we needed a distraction. We needed an upper hand in this never-ending fight. There was only six of us from UA; Izuku, Katsuki, Iida, Shinsou, Kirishima, and me. We were all out celebrating from a long week of testing and exams. We were prepping to take the final exit exam to become pro heroes. We were just walking downtown to grab something to eat when the attack happened.

Bakugou was off in a moment’s time and Kirishima was after him. Iida was rounding up civilians to try and keep them safe. Shinsou and Izuku were fighting off the numbers of villains. I was back up and helping Iida round up civilians. I was good as a versatile hero; I could be used in both the fight and in rescue. After waving the civilians off to a safe place, I trudged back towards the fight.

Izuku and I locked eyes and I could tell he was getting spent. He had been practicing so hard to get One for All under control and making it his own. We spent many days training together with hand to hand combat. He always took it easy on me since my quirk wasn’t really close combat. We had grown so close to each other in these last few months. He was about to activate it to its fullest potential and really injure himself.

At that moment, I made a decision that I knew shouldn’t have been made. Everyone around me pulsed and that’s when I went overboard. I shut off everyone’s hearing in a three-mile radius, including my classmates. Izuku looked over at me just as soon as my quirk activated with his eyes wide. My ears felt like they were under so much pressure that I flinched as I attempted to stand up. A villain made his way over to me in anger, realizing that I was the source of his hearing loss.

I saw the panic in Izuku’s eyes when he saw the villain stalking my way. “MOVE.” He attempted to shout, and I was able to read his lips. My eyes widen as I saw the position of his fingers. One that we all knew came with extreme power. I quickly ran out of the way as soon as he let go of his finger, sending a blast of power where the villain was, and I had previously been. I was caught by the blast and pushed a bit more towards the road.

There was a ringing in my ears from my quirk being so overused. I felt nauseated and weak from the usage. I picked myself up from the ground to see the destruction of Deku’s attack. The pavement was upturned roughly. I looked over to him to see him panting and heading my way. The ringing kept going and I couldn’t hear anything going on around me. Before I could even process it, Bakugou was blasting Deku in the opposite direction.

I was befuddled. This was not the time for their little bouts. Suddenly Iida was crouching in front of me. “We need to go. Now.” He directed with a look of panic in his eyes. I gave a look of confusion and turned to look at the thing his eyes were focused on. Behind me was the gentleman who I saved earlier, lying crumpled on the ground in the midst of where Deku’s blast hit. I scrambled to my feet and ran over to the man, not worrying about my own well-being. “Sir!” I shouted, shaking his body, feeling his neck for a pulse. I found nothing. “Sir!!” I shouted louder, still shaking his body. I felt the color drain out of my face.

I felt tears swell in my eyes. I had failed him. I felt a hand grip my shoulder and knew instantly that it was Iida. I turned around to see him looking at me solemnly. “We need to go get Izuku!” I mouthed to Iida who shook his head. “What do you mean no?” I shouted at him. Iida looked frustrated and looked to his side and suddenly  Shinsou Hitoshi  was right next to him. They were both arguing for a moment before Shinsou made eye contact with me. “We need to go. NOW.” I read from his lips. “Absolutely not!” I tried to counter, but I felt my body go weak. Shinsou came over to me and threw me over his shoulder. “Let’s go Iida.” He shouted and started to head off in the opposite direction.

 ...

I woke up startled as I felt sweat dripping from my body. That day was drilled in my head as a reoccurring nightmare. The day that changed the mood of our high school careers. We all felt the same pain of turning in Izuku to the police for the murder of a civilian. It was hard to grasp, and I knew it was an accident. However, everyone else thought otherwise. They all convinced me to keep my distance and not seek him out. My heart ached thinking of the pain that he was in.

I hadn’t seen Izuku since that incident. Hitoshi and Iida had taken me by force from the scene. Bakugou was cursing the entire way back with Kirishima on his tail. We made it back to the dorms and let Aizawa-sensei know what had happened. The color drained from his face before ordering a lockdown of the dorms and fled the building quickly. We got news of Izuku’s disappearance the following morning. He had fought a few pro-heroes in the process. Injuring Endeavor and even Al Might.

The following week he was spotted with the leader of the League of villains, Shigaraki Tomura. Before anyone could get close to them, they had fled the scene. That was over two months ago. UA had gone silent on the incident and didn’t speak further into detail about it. The five of us that were involved that night had all changed. I didn’t speak to Iida or Hitoshi for weeks. I avoided everyone as best as I could. I was so infuriated with how things happened.

For the longest time, I blamed myself for using my quirk to the point of exhaustion. I always wondered if I hadn’t deafened Izuku’s hearing if he would have heard Iida’s warning shout. We could still all be studying together to pass our exit exams instead of all of us keep to ourselves. You could tell how tense the entire school was about the situation at hand. A lot of Izuku’s clothes and personal items had gone missing from his dorm room shortly after the incident.

That was the last time we think he was ever on school grounds. After that, he was a ghost. I don’t think I ever fully forgave Iida and Hitoshi’s actions that night for not allowing me to go to Izuku. They all viewed him with harsh eyes for the accident that happened. A shudder went down my spine as I got up out of my apartment bedroom to grab a glass of water.

A flash of green made me drop my glass of water and it instantly shattered on the ground. “Wait, Y/N.” Izuku’s voice chilled me to the bone. It was raspy and broken. “Izuku?” I whispered in shock. “Yes, it’s me doll.” He whispered, crossing the threshold of my apartment to embrace me in his arms. The nickname he had given me in private brought a flush of warmth to my cheeks. I quickly wrapped my arms around him tightly. I felt tears spilling from my eyes almost instantly.

“Oh god, doll. It’s so good to see you again.” He whispered nervously. We had never really told anyone about our relationship. We kept it private because of everything going on. We didn’t need our classmates to tease us about our relationship. We had been dating a little under six months before the accident happened. I pulled away from him to really take a good look at him. His hair was disheveled and wild. His eyes were no longer the bright green I knew. They were dark and one of his eyes had turned red in color.

“Izuku what happened to you…” I whispered, putting a hand up to his cheek. “It’s been awful doll. They have been searching for me endlessly. I’ve had to hide and stay hidden.” He whispered, leaning into my hand. He turned his face towards my palm and gave it a soft peck. “How did you know I lived here now? You’ve been missing for two months.” I graveled at him.

“I’ve kept my tabs on you. I was making sure you were safe. I couldn’t live with myself if I knew any harm had come to you because of me.” He snarled. The soft innocent boy I had known two months ago was gone. Yet, he was still Izuku. He still cared deeply about me regardless of the situation.

“What are we going to do, Izuku?” I asked with a strained voice. I covered my mouth with my hand to stop the racking sobs that kept coming. “Oh, doll. Don’t cry, it’s okay now.” He cooed as he helped me to the floor. We sat close together on my kitchen floor. He kept rubbing circles on my hand and looking from my hand to my face. “I still can’t get over the fact I am actually here with me right now,” I whispered as I was attempting to get myself together.

“What are you doing with the league of villains, Izuku?” I asked after we had a moment of silent pause. I could feel him stiffen at the question. “Y/N… You have to understand, that I was not safe anywhere. Tomura was the only one to offer me any kind of solace. A place to hide. Someone who was willing to work with me when everyone else stared at me in disgust.” He explained in a low voice. You could hear how broken he was about this whole situation. “You don’t view me as a monster like everyone else, do you?” He whispered, as if almost afraid to receive the answer.

“It was an accident, Izuku. You were trying to save me from my own mistake.” I whispered. “I let you down by overusing my quirk. Hadn’t I used the last bit of strength I had, you wouldn’t have had to use your power. We would have graduated UA together. We would have been going out and starting our paths as heroes.” I managed to say in between sobs.

“What has everyone else said?” He asked coldly. “You can already imagine. I separated myself from them. I still haven’t forgiven Hitoshi or Iida for taking me away from you. When you needed someone the most. When you needed me the most.” I told him. I looked over at him with sorrow in my eyes. Izuku was staring at me when I turned to look at him. His eyes were piercing mine as if looking into my soul.

There was a loud knock on my apartment door. “Y/n? Is everything alright?” the voice of Kaminari said. Izuku looked both shocked and pissed off. “You live near, Kaminari?” He snarled quietly. “They insisted that I needed to be watched over. They won’t leave me alone.” I sighed, standing up. “I’ll get him to go away if you wanted to just stay in my bedroom.” I continued. He stood up and pulled me to him roughly. As soon as I caught my breath, his lips collided with mine. I instantly melted into his touch, his kiss.

However, he pulled away sooner than I would have anticipated. “I would love to stay, doll. I really would.” He grimaced, staring at the front door. “We will see each other soon. I promise you.” Before I knew it, he was gone in a flash of green. My heart ached for his presence. I held it together while going up to my front door. I took a deep breath and opened the door. “Hi, Kaminari,” I said in a cold voice.

His stare was hard to read. “Y/N… who was with you just now?” He asked, making my heart skip a beat. “What are you talking about, Kaminari? You know I live alone.” I stated in a calm even tone. “I’m so sorry, Y/N.” He said before grabbing onto my wrist.

The next thing I knew, I was waking up in a room with steel walls. “What the…” I started to say before the door slammed open. “Ground Zero…” I whispered as I looked at Katsuki in the eyes. His expression was also hard to read. “Don’t bullshit me, y/n. Where did Izuku go?” He asked in a steady voice. “I don’t know what you’re insinu-” I started to say before Katsuki slammed his fist onto the wall. “Dammit, stop lying! We know he stopped by your apartment last night.” He shouted.

“Why does it matter, Katsuki!? What are you going to do?” I yelled at him back. “Bring him into justice like he deserves! He killed someone, y/n!” He yelled back at me. I stood up abruptly and got in his personal space. “It was an accident and you knew that! He wouldn’t have done that on purpose! You are the whole reason he fled! You all believed he was a monster!” I shouted while stabbing my finger into his chest. His eyes were boring down into mine.

Suddenly his eyes softened at me before closing the door. Securing the two of us alone in the room. I didn’t know whether the room was bugged or not. “Y/N I know this is hard for you. Out of all the people that knew Izuku the best, it was you. He told me about how you two were dating before the incident happened. He confided in me before he even asked you out because he was a nervous wreck that damn nerd.” He started to say. Bakugou knew about Izuku and I. This was going to get dangerous quickly.

“You have to give me any information you have about him.” He said in almost a whisper. Bakugou wasn’t one to let his emotions down easily around people. He almost seemed defeated by his statement. He walked away from me and slammed his fist into the wall again. “I was supposed to be battling with him for the number one hero spot. Not chasing him down as one of the most wanted villains.” He strained out. “I wish I could tell you something, Katsuki. I really do. He stopped by my apartment last night and just told me he wanted to see me.” I told him, keeping Tomura out of the picture.

He sighed before rubbing his temple. “Okay, I’m sorry for the force we had to use to get you here. When sparky called me saying that he heard something break in your apartment then heard another muffled voice, I gave him the okay to use force. That damn nerd must have fled before Kaminari could get him. Not that he could have anyway.” He sneered. “Yeah, not the first-time force has been used against me in your guys’ favor.” I spit back.

“You would have followed him, Y/N.” He barked at me. “So what?” I sneered right back. “We couldn’t have two students go off the deep end! Izuku is dangerous now. He is willing to do anything to keep himself hidden.” He remarked. “I want to go home,” I demanded suddenly. Katsuki huffed and rolled his eyes. “It’s only going to get worse before it gets better. You know, that, right? He has to be brought to justice.” He barked at me again. This time I bit my tongue and turned my gaze to the opposite wall. “Fine, go ahead and go home. However, we are going to stake out your place since the sighting of a villain has been apparent.” He said while emphasizing the word villain.

I stood up and brushed past him on my way out. Kaminari was in the front lobby of Bakugou’s new agency. I activated my quirk as I walked by him to deactivate both my hearing and his. His expression changed when he saw me walk past him without being able to hear me. This would not be the end of my encounters with Bakugou’s crew from his agency.

Things were not easy for the following weeks as I knew I was being staked out by the pro heroes. I was almost associated as a villain because of my private meeting with Izuku. My heart was aching because I was not sure who to believe nor what to do. I knew that I needed to focus on my own hero work and getting in with an agency and who best than with Mirio Toogata.

He was more than ecstatic to take me in as an intern for his agency. I started working hard on blending in with the rest of my class while working for a pro hero agency. I hadn’t heard or seen Izuku since the night in my apartment. I saw from the news of more sightings with him with the League of Villains. The agency did their best to keep it quieter since they knew I was once close with Izuku. I was only hoping that he was staying safe and not making any more rash decisions.

Eight months had passed before we heard anything about any attack led by the League of Villains. Izuku was no longer front-page news, but more of an addition whenever the league was brought up. I hadn’t heard anything from him. He did not stop by my apartment again after the incident where Kaminari stopped by.

I wasn’t expecting to see him today. I was running errands on my day off from patrolling the city. There wasn’t that much villain activity lately which you would have thought that would have been a great thing. Yet, it put all of us heroes on edge because we were waiting for the next attack. I was passing the local convenience store and caught a glimpse of green from the corner of my eye.

I turned slowly to see the familiar curly green locks that I could pick out of a crowd. “It can’t be…” I whispered as we locked eyes. His face remained neutral to seeing me. He was standing in an alleyway as if waiting for someone. He wore a suit that hugged his frame. His sweet demeanor was no longer there. “Hello, doll.” He said, quickly making his way towards me. I knew I should have run and called for backup. Every inch of my body screamed for me to attack.

I couldn’t bring myself to do that. “Izuku...” The words came out of my mouth as if struggling. “You don’t have to be afraid, my doll. I was waiting for you.” He said, strolling up to me and taking my hand into his. He pulled lightly for me to follow him. Quickly snapping out of my daze I pulled my hand away from him. “What do you mean you were waiting for me? Izuku, they could catch you if anyone notices you!” I shrilled, panic rising up in my voice. This made his eyes glisten with excitement. He had changed completely in the months we hadn’t seen one another. His presence was different and something felt off.

“I knew you would eventually come this way, and I just had to see you. It’s been far too long since I’ve had the pleasure of being graced with your presence.” He cooed, putting a hand upon my cheek, stroking his thumb against my skin. His fingers were so calloused.

I took all of me not to melt into his touch. I stepped away from him and attempted to walk away. He was being reckless and you did not want to be the reason he got locked away for good. He grabbed my wrist tightly. “You don’t think you can leave me so soon, do you?” He asked. “Izuku, we both know we are two opposite sides of the same coin. You are at risk of being brought to justice and I cannot follow you.” I grimaced, trying hard to keep my composure.

It was hard not to let the tears flow out of my eyes. I had been anticipating seeing him again. The guy who I had such strong feelings for. One I had put all my trust and hopes into. The one who I imagined becoming the number one hero, to replace All Might. “I won’t fight you, or bring you into the pros. I can’t do that to you, Izuku. However, I cannot follow your path of villainy.” I said, the words struggling to form a coherent sentence in between my wracking sobs.

He stepped closer and wrapped his strong arms around me. “I had no choice, doll. You know this. “ His lips next to my ear. Hot breaths sending chills down my spine. “I miss you so much doll. I am so sorry I am making this difficult for you.” He whispered, nuzzling his face into my neck.

Tears were steadily flowing down my face. I wanted nothing more for things to go back to normal. Where all of our fellow classmates didn’t label my dear Izuku a villain. I turned around in his embrace. “I miss you, Izuku, more than you could ever imagine,” I whispered.  “You could join me; I will keep you safe. Nothing would ever come between us again.” He suggested to me not to miss a breath. A tempting offer.

“You know you need inside information,” I told him, tears streaming down my face. I never imagined I would ever betray the pro heroes in order to give Izuku information. While I told Izuku I would never follow down his path, I knew I was slipping down the blurred line. He put his index finger under my chin to bring me to look up at him. When had he become this much taller than me?

“One day, my doll. I will keep you safe and we will never have to worry about the others. We will have an escape.” He murmured while looking deep into my eyes. He placed a soft kiss to my forehead and lingered there for a moment’s time. “Soon, my love. We will be together again. Permanently.” He said before walking off into the shadows. 

#villain deku #villain deku x reader #villain!deku #my hero academia x reader #my hero academia #mha x reader #mha #mha imagines #mha oneshots #mha drabble #bnha #bnha fanfiction #bnha oneshots #bnha villain deku #boku no hero academia #boku no hero fanfic #boku no hero academia x reader #izuku midoriya #izuku midoria x reader #izuku midoriya villain #villain izuku #villain midoriya #deku x reader #deku villain

[thedeathdeelers]

Julie x Luke Fic

ok i did it

i finished the song inspired fic (my first attempt at writing Juke lols) (also my longest fic posted to date?? over 2k?? what)

find it here on my AO3, otherwise under the read more cut below :)

let me know what you think!

————

i’ll go wherever you will go

JULIE

Saturday morning found Julie wide awake tossing and turning at 7:30am. Which was odd to say the least, as Julie definitely enjoyed a good lie in just as much as the next person.

She tried to go back to sleep, snuggling in deeper under her covers, tucking her hands under her cheek, and even switching positions a few times.

But still nothing.

Finally giving up on sleep by 7:50am, Julie jumped out of bed, planning to head straight to the studio. Her mind had switched on the moment she first opened her eyes, whirling with lyrics and melodies for a new potential anthem.

So she slipped on her large bear claw slippers, and padded her way through the still quiet house, gently opening and shutting the front door behind her.

She slowly walked down the path to the studio, fully aware that the boys would not be back from whatever it is teenage ghosts who don’t sleep do all night.

Julie pushed passed the doors of her mom’s studio, leaving them ajar, hoping to let in the cool morning breeze. She headed straight for the couch, where lay Luke’s (and now hers as well, she supposed) songbook.

She plopped down, enjoying the worn out feel of the leather and the softened cushions, dragging the book over & onto her lap. Flipping it open, she rifled through the pages, humming quietly under her breath, looking at all of the recent songs she & Luke had written together. It was routine for her to do a little recap of their joint material before she reached the empty pages, where she would start on something new.

She was just about to flip past their latest work, paper crinkling under her fingers, when something fell out from between the pages, fluttering to the ground. She looked down, brows pulling together, to find a folded piece of paper on the floor next to her cladded feet.

Curious, and fully aware that she had only just held this notebook in her hands yesterday, Julie leaned forward over her knees and picked up the scrap of paper, and unfolded it.

It was in covered Luke’s familiar scratchy handwriting, covered in words and notes and melodies, just like the rest of their shared songbook (albeit looking slightly more organised). Scratching at her scalp in confusion, Julie brushed her hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear as she brings the wrinkled paper closer for her to read.

But just before she does, she allows herself to breathe in deeply, eyes closing as the scent that is purely Luke invades her senses, enveloping her in a kind of warmth that vaguely reminds her of happy summers past.

She only gives herself a few seconds of self-indulgence, before she pulls the paper away from her face, sitting up a little straighter. Opening her eyes, she focuses on the words in front of her, scanning through the first few lines.

A gasp breaks through the silence in the studio as Julie starts to process the meaning behind the song.

She was reading a love song.

Her brain takes a second to comprehend, and another to fully process and kick in.

A love song written by Luke. And there was a very big chance that it was written with her in mind.

Love songs weren’t entirely a new territory for them - they had experimented with a few ever since they performed Stand Tall. But this one was a fully fleshed out song, with an underlying tone that was so heartbreaking, Julie could already feel her heart squeezing tight in her chest as tears start to push past her eyelids and down her cheeks.

So lately, been wondering,

Who will be there to take my place,

When I’m gone, you’ll need love,

To light the shadows on your face

A sob clawed its way out, breathing ragged as Julie clutched tighter at the piece of paper in her hand, her eyes squeezing shut. He must have written this when they thought they were going to move on.

She presses her free hand, now shaking, against her mouth, failing to stop the new stream of oncoming sobs from breaking out.

Even now, with the boys being physically present in her life, uncertainty still reared it’s ugly head. She would be bobbing her head along to music, working on her algebra homework, or lying in bed scrolling through Instagram, and it would hit. She’d suddenly be very aware of the fear of losing her new found family, of losing him, unsuspectingly crawling its way back up from where it was buried deep down, engulfing her in a haze that wouldn’t let up.

Trying to bring herself back to the present, Julie shakes her head, eyes opening back up. She tries to refocus on the words in front of her, even as her vision continued to blur.

If I could, then I would

I’ll go wherever you will go

Way up high, or down low,

I’ll go wherever you will go

And maybe, I’ll find out

The way to make it back someday

To watch you, to guide you,

Through the darkest of your days

I hope there’s someone out there

Who could bring me back to you

If I could turn back time,

I’ll go whenever you will go

If i could make you mine

i’ll go wherever you will go

“Jules?”

She was so taken by the words on the paper, so absorbed in the world the words were creating, that she hadn’t noticed Luke appearing into the studio.

Startled, she lifts her head, hair shifting and falling back over her shoulders as her eyes meet his.

LUKE

Luke had spent his night just as he always did: Roaming around the streets of Hollywood, constantly checking out new bands, new music - desperately trying to keep up with the music scene that constantly seemed to be changing.

Him and the boys had made a pact that they would always take advantage of their time back on Earth, whether spending it with loved ones (Alex tried to sneak off and see Willie whenever it was possible; Reggie liked to stick around the Molina house, following Ray and Carlos around), or spending it enriching their already deep knowledge of music.

And although he genuinely enjoyed spending his nights exploring the music scene with his boys, Luke always found himself itching to head back to their studio. Itching to head back to Julie. Some could call it pathetic (Alex), but he was over caring.

After having thought that he had somehow lost her, being forced to cross over or join some megalomaniac’s house band forever, he was through trying to act coy. He was head over heels in love with Julie Molina, and that was that.

Which meant that as soon as he deemed it late enough to head back, he left the boys on their way to meet Willie at some singer’s pool, and poofed back home (home. Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?).

He was expecting the Molinas to still be asleep, hoping he’d be able to get a few hours’ worth of songwriting in before he’d be joined by a sleepy Julie.

What he hadn’t expect was to find a hunched over Julie, sat on their couch looking small as her eyes shone with freshly shed tears.

Luke quickly crossed the space between them, nearly jumping over the coffee table in his rush to get to her. He fell onto the couch next to her, reaching out to grab her hand in his. As was his routine whenever he’d held her hand, his thumb started to lightly trace over her knuckles, trying to soothe her the only way he knew best: by touch.

“Jules? Julie, what’s wrong? What happened?” He searched her face, futilely trying to make sense of the red rimmed eyes and the tear streaked cheeks. He was so preoccupied by the fresh batch that had started to spill over that he hadn’t noticed the cause: the now crumpled piece of paper wrapped up in Julie’s trembling fist.

But Julie would only shake her head at him, staring back with wide and glistening eyes.

Luke shifted, twisting his body to fully face her, extending his free hand towards her face to gently cup her cheek. The need to touch was just as much for her as it was for him. If he had a beating heart, it would be trying to hammer its way out of his chest. He needed something to ground him, to calm him down so he can focus, and nothing did that better than the girl sitting in front of him.

“Do you- do you want to talk about it?” He tried to regulate his voice, making it softer, tilting his head slightly to get closer to her eye level. He’d let her decide if she wanted to talk. He knew from personal experience what it felt like to want to let the tears and emotions pour out, without feeling the need to speak them out loud.

And yet - the lack of reaction on her part was worrying him. She still wouldn’t say a word, not even another shake or nod of the head - just staring at him with a mix of grief and wonder shining from her eyes. He didn’t know what to do with that.

But just as he was about to slide back a little, give her some space, he saw her lift her free hand, fingers curled tight into a fist, holding it up in front of him.

He looked at her questioningly for a second, before the hand that was still resting on her cheek moved to brush at her closed fist. At the contact, her fingers seemed to relax, easing the pressure on her knuckles. She slowly unraveled what was in her hand, dropping it in the palm of his.

As soon as he saw the crumpled piece of paper he understood.

She had found it.

His song. To her.

His farewell song.

He‘d completely forgotten he had hastily slipped it back into his songbook yesterday after their session.

He had planned on leaving the song in her dream box, where she was to find it after they had crossed over - a little piece of him, of his heart, of his soul, left behind for her to hold whenever needed.

But then they had stayed. And hugged. And laughed and hugged some more. And he figured she didn’t need to know about the sad love song he had written her.

So he had snuck back into her room late last night while she was asleep, and quickly grabbed it, shoving it into his songbook, with plans to properly dispose of it at a later time.

Too late for that now.

“Jules - I’m so sorry. You weren’t supposed to find this.” He scratched the back of his neck, song still in hand, unsure of how to navigate the conversation. He let out a long breath, trying to find the right words to explain to her.

“I wanted to leave you something that would always remind you of me - something personal, that no one’s seen or heard before. Just a little keepsake that you could go back to and read whenever you needed it.” His hand dropped into his lap with a soft thud, sound muted by the deafening quiet of the studio.

He chanced a look at her face, to find her still staring at him. Fortunately (he hoped), he could see the tears had stopped.

“I didn’t want to leave, knowing things might have been left unsaid. I figured I wouldn’t be as lucky next time round.” He tried for a weak laugh, but knew it wasn’t going to work. So he tried again.

“It uh- it was in your dream box. I know you said not to go near it, but I swear I just dropped the song in there and closed it. I didn’t snoop. Scout’s honour.” He did a little salute, two fingers held up, despite the fact that they both knew he was never a boy scout. He even tried a little shy smile, hoping she’d react to something. Anything.

And yet, still nothing.

Did she hate it? Did she think he was overstepping her boundaries? Did the song make her uncomfortable? He was starting to panic, even as he still felt her warm hand resting in his.

He let out a deep breath and tried again.

“I’m sorry, Julie, please, just talk to me. Let me know if I made you uncomfortable in any way, I-I-I’ll stop. We can burn the piece of paper and just forget this ever happened just please- say something.” He was pleading her, eyes solely focused on hers as he tried to gauge any type of reaction from her.

“You think I’m crying because it made me uncomfortable?” Her voice was so low, he nearly missed it.

He was not expecting her to start with that. But unexpected reactions were better than nothing.

“I- I don’t know Julie. You’ve been quiet from the moment I poofed in here. I don’t know what to think. But I’m so-“

“Please. Please Luke, stop apologising.” She shook her head, voice hoarse. Her lips twitched at the edges, the first signs of movement on her face since he approached her.

“This song- I-“ She swallowed, trying to dislodge the emotions wedged in her throat. Her eyes flickered from his lap, to the song and back up to his.

“Luke this- this is the most beautiful song you’ve ever written. I haven’t even looked at the music accompanying it and it’s already my favourite piece of music ever.”

Her voice hitched, as she tried to control her feelings. She cleared her throat, continuing.

“I cried because the emotions, the feelings that have been building up for a while now, all came crashing down on me at once. The fact that I really was this close to losing you guys,” she lifted her hand and touched his jaw, letting her fingers trail his cheek. “To losing you.”

Luke lifted his hand, covering hers.

“I’ll always be by your side Julie. I’ll do whatever I can to make sure of it. You know that.” His lips quirked into a half smile, recalling the words he had uttered the night they thought was their last.

“Could you- Could you play this for me?”

That surprised him. He wasn’t expecting her to want to revisit the song for a while. He lifted his brows as he tried to read her clear brown eyes.

“You sure you want to hear it now? We have all the time in the world. We could leave it for another day?“

She shook her head, the first real smile that morning, finding its way on her lips.

“No, I’m sure. I want to hear you sing it while I- while I can hold you close.”

His non-beating heart stuttered at her words, even as he tried to (unsuccessfully) keep the joyfully surprised expression from showing too much on his face.

“Alright.”

He got up quickly to grab his guitar and then immediately headed back to sit down next to his brown eyed wicked beauty.

Hm, that title had potential.

No Luke, focus.

He started tuning his six-string as Julie settled herself more comfortably against his side on the sofa. Her arm snaked its way around his back as she squeezed herself closer, her head coming to rest on his shoulder.

He closed his eyes, trying to savour this feeling, this moment, committing it to memory, before he opened them back up and prepared himself to start playing the song he never thought he’d get the chance to perform.

So lately, been wondering,

Who will be there to take my place,

When I’m gone, you’ll need love,

To light the shadows on your face

He could already feel the tears soaking their way through his shirt sleeves, as Julie’s hand clenched, her arm tightening her hold onto him. He fought through the need to comfort her, willing himself to finish playing her his song. He was baring his soul to her; the least he could do was do it right.

I know now, just quite how

My life and love might still go on

In your heart, in your mind

I’ll stay with you for all of time

He was nearing the end of the song, strumming through the last verse before he reached the altered chorus, bringing his emotions to an all time high. He sneaked a quick peak at Julie, her eyes closed as the tears continued to spill.

If I could turn back time,

I’ll go wherever you will go

If I could make you mine,

I’ll go wherever you will go

I’ll go wherever you will go

And with the last strum of his guitar, the final note softly fading into the quiet of the studio, Luke shifted for the first time since he started playing her the song. He gently moved the guitar from his lap, placing it against the side of the sofa. Turning back around, he then fully enveloped the other half of his soul in his arm, bringing her even closer to her rightful place in his heart.

FIN

#juke #jatp #julie and the phantoms #luke patterson #julie molina #jukebox #julie x luke #jatp fics #my fics #thedeathdeelers fics