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daydreamcloudshiding · 3 months

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#4 Astrology Observations

I usually don't get along with people who have Ascendant opposite my Mars. Something about them really irritates me and I don't even know why

Mars square Mars synastry is one of the most toxic synastry I know. It's like both are very strong-headed and no one will ever back down. If there is other strong placement in this synastry, it's like one of those couples that only stays together just to punish the other. It's like - no one can ever "own" you but me, no one can ever "destroy" you but me, I have the power to do that - So toxic

Saturn square Pluto synastry can be toxic because it has so much transformations and challenges. Saturn represent order and structure, Pluto represent transformation. This happen to both of them, and it's not like only the Pluto person who will bring about change. To give you an example, perhaps the Saturn is so used to chaos and Pluto will come into their life to help them build the structure and order that they need in their life. However Pluto have this forceful vibe to them, and Saturn, literally the one represent structure will find this resistance in their heart. Like "What are you doing, that's supposed to be my job, shut up, shut up, shut up why are you trying to control my life" and Let's say that for all their life, Pluto has this tunnel-like mindset that's probably toxic to them. Or even a belief. Saturn will come into their life to show them that there are other alternatives, that even though different from what Pluto has, is really working and definitely not toxic. Pluto will not take this change easily. Like "The fu*k you trynna change me, who do you think you are? How about I change you instead?" with this placement, both really need to drop the ego, it's crucial because I personally don't really see this as toxic, because it doesn't have to be. The thing is, this is also a binding aspect. I found this in couples who have been together for 10+ years or even married. This is because the transformation happen only after both really get to know each other quite well

People with Mercury square Chiron in natal chart can say some hurtful sh*t that will shook you mentally and emotionally and you will never be able to recover from this pain because usually there is an element of truth in it. They might insult you about your behaviour and somehow they connect it to a specific childhood trauma that you tried so hard to hide but this person can see it and you can't believe that this person really said it out loud. So now everyone knows

Mars in 1st in composite feels like there is a sense of defensiveness to it, but it doesn't always means towards each other but rather towards other people. It's like one or both are very defensive about this relationship that if someone disagrees with this, they will defend it hard

Chiron conjunct North node in composite means that there is some element in the relationship or in both people that is so triggering. And triggering doesn't mean that it's going to be painful or toxic, because the whole point of Chiron and North node is healing and transformations. Both will be uncomfortable and will see each other as a potential danger and there'll be a lot of doubt. But what they don't realise is they are not helpless. This is not about one person abusing the other, it's about both probably have the same trigger and fear and they might have the same toxic defense mechanism

Venus square Venus in synastry can be so intense because both can be very loyal to each other but have a very different way of showing it. This is precisely why they can’t let go of each other anyway even though they constantly fight or misunderstand each other in love. Especially if this synastry has Pluto or 8th house placement. One person’s form of loyalty could be marriage and the other might feel the same but their approach in marriage is very different. This will make the other person like “you said you wanna marry me but you do this, or you do it like this?? This doesn’t make sense to me”

I would like to say that no one truly ever move on from grieve. But especially water signs, they never truly "get over it". And people will say for example, it's because Scorpios want to take revenge, or Cancers are crybaby, or Pisces are delusional. But from my experience with them, it's because they really love deeply (if they love you for real). When they love it's become their whole being, you truly will become their world, their life. They will take you to their depth and you will be one with their ocean.

On the other hand, the best liars are water signs or water sign dominants. Again, this is my experience with them and as an air sign dominant I feel like I can't ever truly trust them??

People said Pisces have savior complex, well... in my experience it's Scorpios who has it. They like to be seen as someone / the only one who can save you. Perhaps they both have it, but in my own experience, it's Scorpios who most likely have it. Pisces energy seems too airy to me, almost like air signs. They won't really stick around, ya know? Like they love you so much but always want to run away as well. But not Scorpios. So if Scorpios thinks that they need to help you/save you, they effing will. Which can create co-dependants relationships in their life

People with Pisces in 12th house seems like they don't really have a real authentic self. It's worse than Neptune in 1st. They are the true chameleon. Like i'm not saying that they're fake, but they have a tendency to be "anyone", like they can change their appearance, behaviours, etc however they want it

#astrology #astro community #astro notes #astrology notes #astrology observations

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yandere-wishes · 6 months

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Long ramble anon here, I'm happy you liked my long ask I was just concerned that I put way too much as I have a tendency to hyperfixate snd overexplain, hence the tldr at the end. To be honest ever since seeing the fox beastman I've been on a bit of a kick with theorizing things for him. (Did the same thing with Rollo hehe) Anyway, if you want some more of my takes I'm happy to share.

Alright so you know how beastmen retain some of their animalistic traits? Well my brain immediately goes to what this means for their romantic endeavors and courting behaviors. Not much is known about the courting process for foxes, but we do know that scent marking and loud vocal barking is used to attract a mate. How does this carry over to a humanoid fox? Well, my theory is that he will likely give his darling something like his coat, or spray whatever cologne he uses on their things or use more of it when he knows he's going to see them. As for the loud vocal barking you better believe my mind immediately went to him just belting out a serenade for his darling, regardless of how he actually may sound I think he's self-assured and prideful enough to believe this would definitely entice his soon to be mate.

Another interesting thing about foxes is that they are monogamous to a fault, rarely ever taking another mate after the passing of their partner, instead remaining loyal until their own passing (at least this was what I've read in my admittedly surface level research). To me this means two things, 1) once Fellow sets his eyes on a darling that's absolutely it for him regardless of how he has to get them by his side it is an inevitability so if they would just be a good dear and surrender early on everything could be so much better, and 2) should anything unfortunate befall to his darling he wouldn't ever fall for anyone else and likely never fully recover emotionally.

Tldr; The fox man would woo his darling with his surely illustrious (at least to him) voice and his cologne or perhaps natural pheromones, and once he woos them Fellow would never so much as look at another in the same light.

Don't apologize Anon!! I love it when people send in long asks about their hyperfixations!! It feels so endearing and sweet and makes me want to give you a big hug!! I'm literally the same when it comes to hyperfixate and overexplain, when I'm obsessed with something (TV show, movie, game, etc) I need to feel it in my veins!! Plus being able to chat about it with people on Tumblr is always one of the best parts!!

I can't stop laughing at the thought of Fellow sending his darling with loud obnoxious barking 🤣🤣 Bonus points if the reader is a regular human and just stares at him confused, while Leona, Ruggie, and Jack just nod in approval in the background (or in anger and disbelief, depends on the scenario). The idea of him sharing his cologne and jacket with Reader is actually really sweet. I like to think that some ways down the line if Fellow ever had to go away for an extended period of time. Reader would just cuddle into a corner hugging his jacket and spraying some of his cologne on herself. He'd be so delighted coming home and smelling his scent so strongly on his beloved.

I love this!! Just Fellow knowing that reader is the one from the first look 😍😍😍😍 He's so smitten and lays on the charm extra thick. Wanting them all so badly and doing anything to get them. If Reader should die (Lord forbid) Fellow definitely wouldn't get another partner BUT he'd also go the extra mile and try to resurrect them. Magic exists in Twisted Wonderland so I'm sure someone out there has the ability to raise the dead. He'd do absolutely anything to hold you in his arms again.

Look Reader is getting a really sweet deal here. A tall handsome man (+ bonus he comes with A SUPER FLUFFY TAIL AND EARS) with a smooth voice, and a charming personality. Willing to give her anything, do anything for her, and make sure she had the best life imaginable. He's physically incapable of cheating and would fawn over the reader like a lovestruck puppy. He's literally just perfect!! Ignoring the manipulative tendencies, obsessive behavior, and ability to maim someone with his teeth😊😊

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dontyouworrydaddy · 10 months

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Please, TF 141 + Konig with a s/o who is very affectionate and caring. Like she likes to kiss them all over their face, pamper them all the time, make sure they eat good and healthy and constantly remind them that they are appreciated and loved.

𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚋𝚞𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚕𝚢

I absolutely love this idea😭😭😭 This is gonna be my favorite art because I love these kind of fanfics and this is so me fr. My mans are traumatized asf and I‘m just gonna sit there, hold them and take care of them 🤭 Anyways I hope you enjoy! Love you 🩷🩷🫶🏻🫶🏻

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

König

Königs body was weary and his mind filled with the echoes of gunfire. But as he stepped through the door of your shared house, he felt a rush of warmth and love envelop him. You greeted him with open arms.

"Babyyyyy" you whispered, your voice filled with tenderness, "Welcome home, my love." Your eyes sparkled with adoration as you leaned in and showered König's face with gentle kisses, your affection pouring out in every touch.

The weight of the world lifted from König's shoulders as he felt your love embrace him. The battles he fought seemed distant, replaced by the warmth of your presence. Your caring nature knew no bounds, as you pampered him with tender care, ensuring he had everything he needed to recover and regain his strength.

Every day, you prepared delicious meals, meticulously crafting dishes that would touch his body and soul. König's heart swelled with emotion as he saw the spread you had prepared for him. Tears welled up in his eyes, a mix of gratitude and overwhelming love.

With a choked voice, König embraced you tightly, holding onto you as if he never wanted to let go. The tears flowed freely down his weathered face, releasing the weight of the battles he had fought. In your arms, he found solace, a safe haven where vulnerability was allowed.

"Mein Schatz" König murmured, his voice filled with a mix of appreciation and awe, "I can't begin to express how much this means to me. Your love, your care, it's more than I ever expected or believed I deserved. Thank you. Ich liebe dich über alles. Danke, dass es dich gibt."

You felt your heart melt at his words and even through you didn’t know what the last sentence meant, your soul knew what he meant.

Your arms wrapped around him, providing comfort and reassurance. "König, you are so much more than a soldier. You are a person deserving of love and tenderness. I see the strength within you, but I also see the vulnerability. Let me be the one to remind you of your worth, to show you that you are appreciated and loved."

Your affection and care had become his refuge, a sanctuary from the chaos of the battlefield. The bond you shared grew stronger with every passing day, built on a foundation of unwavering support and genuine affection.

And as König's heart swelled with gratitude, he vowed to protect and cherish the love you had given him just as fiercely as he fought for his country. In your embrace, he found a home, a place where he was truly seen and loved.

Simon Riley

Simon is a stoic and battle-hardened soldier who found himself in a whirlwind of emotions ever since you entered his life. As a soldier, he was accustomed to facing danger head-on, but your affectionate and caring nature opened up a world of tenderness he never thought possible.

You and your boundless love and affection showered Simon with kisses all over his face, your lips leaving a trail of warmth and adoration. Each touch and caress reminded him that he was cherished, appreciated, and deeply loved.

You made it your mission to pamper Simon, ensuring he took care of himself both physically and emotionally. You cooked delicious and nutritious meals, placing them before him with a gentle smile, knowing that proper nourishment was essential for his well-being. You watched as he ate, your eyes filled with pride and joy, knowing that he was taking care of himself even in the midst of chaos.

But it was not just the physical care that touched Simon's heart. You constantly reminded him of his worth, whispering words of affirmation and love into his ear. You saw the depths of his soul, the scars he carried and yet you loved him unconditionally. Your voice became the balm to his wounds, mending the broken pieces of his heart with each tender word spoken.

One evening, as you held Simon in your arms, a moment of overwhelming emotion washed over him. Tears welled up in his eyes, streaming down his face, as the weight of his past and the beauty of your love collided within him.

"I've never felt so happy," Simon whispered through his tears, his voice filled with awe and vulnerability. "I never thought I could experience this kind of love, this kind of happiness. It's overwhelming."

You tightened your embrace, holding him close as you kissed the top of his head and whispered sweet reassurances. "You deserve all the love in the world, Simon. You are strong, courageous, and deserving of every kind of happiness that comes your way. I'm here for you, always."

Simon buried his face in the crook of your neck, his tears mingling with the warmth of your embrace. In that moment, he realized that vulnerability was not a weakness but a strength. Opening his heart to you had allowed him to experience a love so profound that it moved him to tears.

In the safety of your arms, Simon found solace. You had given him a sanctuary in a world of chaos and uncertainty. With every touch, every kiss, and every word, you reminded him that love could heal even the deepest of wounds.

“I love you Simon. I‘m proud of how far you’ve come. I will forever love you“ after this sentence Simon continued to cry and you just sat there with him and held him like your life was depending on it.

And as you held Simon, his tears slowly subsided, replaced by a sense of profound peace and contentment. He realized that with you by his side, he could face anything that came his way.

John MacTavish

As the evening sun bathed the room in a warm, golden glow, you found yourself standing in front of John, your heart brimming with affection and adoration. John had always been the strong man but you knew that deep down that he needed to feel loved and appreciated just like anyone else.

With a gentle smile playing on your lips you moved closer to him, cupping his face in your hands. Your fingers traced the lines of his rugged features, your touch conveying a depth of emotion that words could never fully capture. His piercing blue eyes met yours, a mixture of surprise and warmth dancing within them.

"Hi John!" you greeted him with an excited tone "I want you to know that you're loved, John. Every part of you. From your hardened soul to the tenderness you so often hide. You mean the world to me."

The corners of John's mouth twitched with a hint of a smile, his usually guarded exterior slowly melting away under your affectionate gaze. His arms enveloped you in a tight embrace as if he couldn't bear to let go.

"I don't deserve you, baby" he murmured, his voice filled with a mix of gratitude and vulnerability. "You've shown me a love I never thought I could have. And here I am, currently living in that dream"

You pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead, your lips lingering against his skin. "John, you deserve the love. You're human, just like everyone else. And love doesn't discriminate based on perceived flaws. I see the strength and resilience within you, but I also see the gentleness and vulnerability. It's all a part of who you are, and I love every single piece."

Tears welled up in John's eyes, and he held you even closer, as if he wanted to merge his being with yours. "I don't know how I got so lucky to have you in my life. You make me want to be a better person. Thank you for loving me." You let got of him and go and get the flowers you bought him and show it to him. He smiles at you and he looks like a lost puppy. As you placed the flowers into John's hands, his grip tightened, his touch tender and grateful.

He brought your lips to his, a fervent kiss that spoke volumes of the love he held for you. With each caress, each whispered declaration, he poured his heart out, reminding you just how deeply you had touched his soul.

Kyle Garrick

You couldn't resist showering Kyle with affection, your gentle touch caressing his face as you attacked it with kisses. Each kiss served as a reminder of the love that blossomed between you, a love that grew stronger with each passing day.

In your care, Kyle found comfort. Your attention to detail knew no bounds as you crafted every dish with love, understanding that good food was not only essential for his physical well-being but also a way to show how deeply you cared.

"Have you eaten baby?" you asked him and he looked at you with a sad smile. "No" he replied and without asking any further questions you made your way to the kitchen and started preparing something for him. You felt happy. You were happy because you’re taking care of the boy that doesn’t have anyone but you that reminds him that he is loved. In the moments when darkness threatened to consume his soul… you were there, a steady presence that offered comfort and support. With a touch of tenderness, you wiped away his tears and held him close, whispering words of solace and encouragement. You reminded him that vulnerability was not weakness, but a testament to his strength and resilience.

From the corner of your eyes you saw him standing there and looking at you with nothing but love written in his face. He slowly moved closer to you and watched you cook pasta for him and move to prepare the salat to eat next to the pasta.

Kyle is a man of few words who struggled to articulate the depth of his emotions. He suddenly took your face in his hands, making you drop the spatula and his gaze reflecting the love that radiated from within. And in that timeless instant, he closed the gap between you, pressing his lips against yours in a kiss that conveyed a thousand unspoken words.

In that kiss, all the emotions that had swelled within him poured forth. Gratitude, love, and a sense of profound connection intertwined, leaving no doubt that you were his anchor in this chaotic world.

John Price

You entered John’s life and a different side of him began to emerge. You had a way of softening his rough edges, reminding him of the warmth and tenderness that still existed within him. And John secretly loved everything you were doing. He was watching you close as you were cooking dinner or looking at the flowers you got from the mall.

And every chance you got you would kiss John with love and affection. Your gentle kisses dotted his face, a sweet gesture that never failed to bring a smile to his lips. He always makes an annoyed face but you both knew that he was enjoying it. Whenever you were sitting next to him he was secretly wishing you would attack him with your kisses.

The emotions between you and John ran deep. In his eyes, you were the light around the darkness that often consumed his world. Your unwavering care and devotion touched his heart, melting away the walls he had built around himself.

On one particularly intense day, as the weight of his missions bore down on him, John found comfort in your presence. You could see the weariness etched across his face, the burden he carried threatening to crush him. Without hesitation, you wrapped your arms around him, holding him close.

"You are incredible, John. I want you to know how appreciated you are, how much you mean to me and everyone around you. You're a beacon of strength, but you're also human. It's okay to lean on others, to let yourself be cared for."

John's eyes met yours, gratitude and emotion shining within them. "I don't deserve you," he murmured, his voice laced with a mixture of awe and tenderness.

You pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, your love and adoration pouring forth in that simple touch. "John, deserving has nothing to do with it. Love isn't earned, it's given freely. And I choose to love you every day with every part of my being."

In that moment, the weight on John's shoulders lifted ever so slightly, replaced by the warmth of your affection and the understanding that he was not alone. And as the intensity of emotions swelled within him, he leaned in, capturing your lips in a passionate and tender kiss.

It was a moment of connection, a testament to the love that had blossomed between you. In each other's arms, you found solace, strength, and a deep sense of belonging. The world around you faded away as you embraced the power of love and vulnerability.

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moonlit-positivity · 15 days

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Some of my best moments of healing came when I started to understand some of these snippets of wisdom from others:

People can only perceive what they know.

Comprehension is also a part of communication. If they can't comprehend what you're saying then there is no point in wearing yourself out.

There is a big difference in "listening to respond" vs "listening to be right" and most people do not understand this.

Most people on social media aren't looking to have healthy communication. They're looking to argue. Find other places for conversation outside of the comments section.

People cannot tell you how you're feeling. That is information only you have access to. They are projecting themselves onto you.

People often hide behind projection when theyre hurt. Don't take things personally.

Emotionally immature people cannot understand the difference between communicating vs reacting.

What's the difference?

Communicating = listening with intent to understand

Reacting = allowing the perceived threat to dominate the mood

Triggers can also show us parts of ourselves that are unhealed and in need of attention. Though it is never okay to force yourself to "work through them" if you do not relate.

"There is always more work to do" = this is a lifelong process. Don't try to rush it so hard.

Breaks are allowed and actually necessary in order to catch up.

"Trust in yourself & trust in the process" = you know what's best for you. Nobody else should be telling you how to live your life.

"Do something else" = your sanity is in danger if you don't learn how to step away from the stress. Don't ignore your mind & body asking for a break.

"Life is not a game" = take yourself and your health seriously.

It's normal to seek chaos while recovering. Sometimes we are hard wired for chaos due to the nature of our traumas. Healing can leave you feeling "boring" and that's normal.

Recovery can also be reflected in our outward appearances. "As I grew inward, my outward appearance changed too." The changes we make inside can have a very deep impact on the way we take care of ourselves and the way we project that outwardly through our appearance. Sometimes negatively, sometimes positively. It can fluctuate and change just like we do.

You're not alone. I guarantee you, whatever it is you're going through- there's a community out there for it.

Sometimes you will never know how to move forward. These are the moments that require the most kindness and compassion you can find.

There is such a huge awkward transitionary phase between "I'm stuck repeating old habits" vs "oh okay, I've learned enough to move on now, but I don't want to give up my old identity and now I'm even more panicked than I've ever been in my entire life what the fuck is happening please help me" and this is so fucking normal.

When that happens, just be as kind and patient as you can be. The old parts are in need of patience. They are clinging for a reason. Maybe the closure long forgotten? Maybe the underlying issues finally able to be spoken out loud and addressed? Give them the safety of knowing they are safe, well loved, and that you're still gonna be you in all that you are when they're ready to put those burdens down.

Change doesn't look good at first. At first it feels like ripping your skin off. There's a subtle power in allowing it to feel uncomfortable and doing it anyway. You can tap that power just by waking up and staying committed.

"You're stronger than you think, give yourself some kudos, you're worth the effort to heal." These are all words that others have said to me. Take the positive words that ppl give you and use them to your advantage. They're actually not bullshitting you. They actually really do want you to succeed. Draw on them to get you there.

In the same vein, ask trusted ppl what they think your strong points are. I've had ppl tell me "you're resourceful. You're strong in how you advocate for yourself." It can help to hear these types of things. It's okay to ask!

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weirdmageddon · 7 months

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I'm taking the plunge because why not:

What are some headcanons regarding small, silly things that happened during the 3 year trips on the Golden Yard and Meteor?

oh lets go i love this sort of ask. no meteor crew stuff sorry im kinda tired but

on the prospitian ship:

the crocodiles are never recovering from that shit bro. un-stonks

alchemizing sessions. probably with mundane household devices like toothbrushes or something. patterned toilet paper. davesprite absolutely remakes the sbahjifier for himself but i think he also likes to hand draw them from time to time. also john and jade alchemizing bathing suits and going swimming on lolar and hanging with the turtles. casey can come too. floaties on casey

the sbahj canon diverges. so many sbahj in-jokes exclusive to the prospitian ship. unfortunately the retcon make it so none of this ever happens :(

he’d never say it but davesprite likes it when john and jade fall asleep on him doing whatever, it makes his presence feel wanted and appreciated by the people he sacrificed his self and humanhood for good for. sorry for immediately going into davesprite but good god is he tragic. oh yeah heres more. he’s still part dave and shares the same history with john and jade that alpha timeline dave does. john gave him his shades on his 13th birthday in december 2008, he sent john the con air bunny and jade a physical copy of sbahj as furries in the mail. he is identical to alpha dave in relation to his friends before the timeline splits off. dont forget that 4/13/2009 was also his first time meeting his online friends john and jade in person, even after 4 months chronologically of sburb grinding—nearly a year with all the time shenanigans—and going back to day 1, since john and jade were dead in his timeline

tries not to cry cries anyway but only when he knows theyre asleep. pov when the weight of everything suddenly hits you (you are an emotionally repressed 14 year old)

also because he’s fucking fluffy and absolutely knows it and probably thinks to himself “yeah this is the best possible use for these otherwise pointless breast feathers” and yall already know he craves cloth mother plus probably has nesting instincts

(source)

adding on to that also i think people forget sprites are actually fucking LONG and his wingspan is fucking huge he could be a pillow and a blanket at the same time

i wrote davesprite jade cuddles and john thinking about mushrooms and davesprite thinking about how they contribute to the ecnonony

^ john toked too hard on the lowas mushrooms by accident one time

it feels like pajama parties would be a common occurence just the vibes im getting. literally jade is seen sitting on a pile of squiddles and theres plushies fucking everywhere you know they got up to plushie mayhem. do you think they ever alchemized them. look how lived in that room is they all contributed something

jade resumes gardening :) but theres no sun :( but she alchemizes some plastic plants :D but its not the same :(

canonically the imps in johns house just gave up tormenting him and started hanging out and having snacks on movie night

PENIS!

imagine looking up into the sky and seeing a giant casey the size of a planet sleep. jade resizes stuff for fun like this just to introduce some novelty to their lives

this is something

davesprite has beavis and butthead do america (1996) in his collection somewhere in his apartment on lohac

yall theyre watching johns fuckin spongebob dvd box collection. you KNOW john owns the spongebob squarepants movie (2004). and the best thing is it brings all of them together without any of them objecting. they all love spongebob

when the episode jellyfish jam comes on johns like “wow, pretty much this exact scenario happened to me with the imps.” (arthur flashback sfx)

DAVESPRITE: yeah well you didnt have a giant sound system did you

jade warps dave’s bro’s sound system from lohac and sizes it up. they put on stadium rave and the entire fucking house shakes

#homestuck #hs #davesprite #john egbert #jade harley #nannasprite

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magicalrocketships · 5 months

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☔

☔Is there a fic concept you have that you'd like to just explain and share because you're not sure you'll ever write it? If so, what is it?

Oh, I'm sure I've talked about this before but L U C K I L Y I retain zero information, particularly when I'm tired, so this means I get to explain it again.

SO, the plot which I won't ever write because it gets pretty dark and it also requires me to make up an injury (I got the idea from the first series of Chicago Fire, where the dude whose name I've forgotten (no, really, I retain no information anymore) has a life-changing made-up ?neck? injury where he requires surgery and it will take one year+ to recover from the surgery so he self-medicates and then it's miraculously fixed by a dazzling new surgery in one episode after making it an entire plot for an entire season):

Canon divergence somewhere along the way, maybe the pandemic doesn't happen, maybe he never really got as publicly involved in streaming, whatever, but what's key is that Max doesn't have anything really going on outside of racing and it's this year

So Daniel's left RB/Mcl, and Max is focused focused focused on racing and maybe he gets his first world championship a year earlier but whatever happens, he doesn't build that strong sense of home outside of racing (no cats, no partner, no online streaming, just what's becoming an unhealthy focus on racing and winning at all costs)

Then there's an accident. It happens off-track, so it's not a racing incident, and it's not Max's fault. His car gets hit. And Max is injured. He breaks something in his neck (I am assured this injury does not exist in the manner employed by Chicago Fire. For the purpose of this imaginary not-to-be-written fic, it 100% exists).

Max is told he can't race, maybe forever, but likely for at least a year post surgery

(and at this point I'm just going to c&p from the chat fic doc I saved months and months ago, and it's going under a cut with a content warning here for suicidal thoughts, some mention of disordered eating and childhood abuse, look after yourself, pals)

surviving to drive: the max verstappen recovery story (~3k)

Anyway max realises that he has exactly one (1) thing in his life, racing, and it's just come crashing down and he's v emotionally unhealthy as we know and has nothing else going on so when he loses racing he believes there is literally no other reason to keep going plus he's in hospital

anyway daniel ignores all of max's emotionally unhealthy bans on hospital visitors and sneaks in to see him and he's like... "something is very wrong here"

he leaves and max thinks he's chased him away but then daniel comes back later that day and he's like, "you don't have to have the surgery in this hospital, you can have it done in any of these places *presents a list* so pick a place and we'll go there instead"

so yeah they just go somewhere else and daniel rents them a house and just hangs out with a secretly suicidal max who sees precisely no reason to wake up every morning if he's not racing

and daniel has precisely zero idea that max is still here/alive/whatever just because daniel is there every night and every morning and max doesn't want daniel to have to see him like that

ANYWAY max is very clearly not in a good place and his dad sends him messages telling him how he can improve his recovery and get better faster

it becomes more difficult for max to hide the fact that he's alive mostly by virtue of not being dead right now

and he's had the surgery or whatever and he's looking at a 12 month recovery so he's definitely out for the whole of the next season so daniel's like, "It doesn't matter how long recovery takes, take your time" which of course he has precisely zero idea of how to deal with since he's been racing so long and has nothing else in his life

Something happens idk he breaks a glass and Daniel finds him with cut hands and a piece of glass idk and Daniel's like, "a new crisis! I can help with that! this is clearly not something that max has been dealing with daily for weeks now, it's a new thing!"

so he's like, IT'S THERAPY TIME BABY, no more clutching a handful of broken glass and bleeding everywhere, superdaniel is here to help

yada yada finds max a therapist and max HATES IT, HAAAAATES IT, he's uncomfortable and the therapist makes him feel worse and he still wants to like... not be here if he can't race today, he can't wait a whole year

and daniel asks him how it's going and Max lies because why wouldn't he and he's been doing miserable things his entire life that he didn't want to do so what's another thing on top of everything else

meanwhile Daniel's like... hmmmm this is scary Max looks worse

and he sits in on a therapy session and half way through he's like, "nope, we're ending this, sorry, bye, you can have the money for the whole hour but we're never speaking to you again"

points out to Max that that therapist was awful and why didn't Max just tell him how awful it was and how it made him feel

Max, who's never had a choice over anything in his entire life: "..."

anyway he gets max to try another couple of therapists and in the end there's one who is NOT monstrously awful and does not make Max feel like he wants to scratch his own skin off

so Max gets THERAPY and it becomes clear that max's childhood was weaponised beyond belief and he doesn't even know what foods he likes and doesn't like

because he never got a choice and he was always on some kind of food plan that his dad could withhold or not according to how max was doing in every other area of his life

well of course, he gets a whole year of therapy and it turns out his dad was an abusive asshole and he is BLOCKED from Max's phone

and Max has to do things like "make sure his life has more than just racing in it"

so he reads a book

the first one he's ever read

he tries food and tries to figure out if he likes it or if it's just a source of energy he has to eat anyway

he gets a PLANT

it DIES

anyway whatever he gets therapy and he lives in a house with daniel and is allowed to feel some things because he never really felt anything before

and daniel goes off and does some promo stuff idk and films some shit from the house and max is maybe in the background or something and no one's heard from him in ages and in fandom it's all like MAX IS IN DANIEL'S HOUSE etc

and the drive to survive people get in touch and are like, can we interview you for the series even if you're not on the grid, do some stuff about your recovery etc etc

and max is like... i guess

he's not, like, actively suicidal any more because his life has actual pillars of stuff that isn't just racing

his life isn't just like dependent on one jenga tower of racing with the pieces falling down

like, he can't wait to get back to racing but he's like, six months in to therapy or whatever and he's been living with daniel and it's... nice to just... watch movies with him and eat stuff and play computer games (daniel banned racing games so max has had to... compromise)

and maybe there are some... warm feelings

some best friend shit when he's never had real time for a best friend

some "i could probably spend more time with daniel in a forever kind of a way and not get tired of it" you know

BUT ALSO, daniel blowing up his life for max, he saw max in that hospital room and didn't once question what it would mean to him to step back and just... fuck shit up so that max would be okay

anyway drive to survive team show up and they do a bit of interviewing and it is VERY CLEAR that this isn't a natural fit for an episode because Max has, for once, got some shit to say

so they come back with an idea for a spin off documentary that's just Max and this injury and getting back to driving

because Daniel has kind of been fielding red bull this whole time, saying "he's not racing this year, leave him alone, give him some space", and he's got to go out and talk to them or do some promo stuff with them, whatever, he's going away

Max says the timing is good because he can do the main body of the interviewing about what's come before etc, then Daniel can come back and do his bits

and then the docu team are like, "where do you think you'd be right now if you hadn't crashed" and Max looks at the camera and says, "dead, I think" and the team know they're on to a winner because Max has realised that actually, driving like you don't care if you're alive if you don't win isn't actually okay

anyway Max does the documentary interviews and Daniel comes back and Max tells him he can talk about whatever he wants, it's fine but when the team ask him about helping Max when he realised he wasn't coping, Daniel won't give any details and says it's Max's story to tell and he just wanted to make sure his best friend was okay

not realising that he looks very much in love during this idk

ANYWAY SOME TIME PASSES and they do a bit more documentary stuff and Max is preparing to race again and Daniel is doing some stuff with red bull and he flies out somewhere to do an interview and photoshoot for some magazine or other.

The first clips from the documentary are released and they're on youtube and clipped up for instagram and Max posts them but the first picture is just like, 'this contains discussion of suicidal thoughts' etc

Daniel is preparing for this photoshoot and interview

anyway the first clip is about Max in hospital and they go straight in for the kill, Max saying, "I didn't want to live if I couldn't race.

"I didn't want to see anyone, I didn't want to speak to anyone, I shouted at the nurses, I just wanted to get somewhere so I could figure out how not to wake up again. And then Daniel walked in.

"He didn't know how bad it was, he didn't know anything specific, but he knew something was wrong and he got me out of there and he brought me here and got my surgery moved. And he didn't know he saved my life that day. He won't know until he sees this. But he saved my life that day."

END OF CLIP ONE, start of clip two

"You were suicidal," the interviewer says

"Yes," Max says. "The only thing that stopped me was that I didn't want Daniel to find me. He'd moved me to a different hospital and he'd rented this place for us so it was close to the doctors, and every day I woke up and he never knew that he kept me alive just by being here."

"But he found out in the end."

"Not how bad it was. Just that it was bad. And he got me help. And when that help didn't work, he got me more help. He's the best friend I've ever had, and I still haven't been able to tell him how bad it got."

end of clip two, start of clip three

except this clip is DANIEL

"I snuck in to see him in hospital. he wasn't doing great. He was kind of lost, and I didn't really know what I could do, but, like, I figured he needed some space so I got him some. Different hospital, different views, nothing to remind him about racing."

"But he was struggling?"

"Yeah," Daniel says. "He struggled. It was hard to see him when he couldn't race. He's my best friend. It was hard when he wasn't doing so well. But he's doing great now."

smile smile etc Daniel being happy

then a final max clip i think

"Do I still have that drive to win? God, yes. I'm going to win. That hasn't changed. I just want to live as well. I want to wake up tomorrow, and the next day, and the one after that, and win."

then a final slide with the documentary logo on and some suicide prevention helplines, idk

ANYWAY imagine Daniel, if you will, at a photography studio about to have pictures taken, crying his eyes out in the toilets because he's just found out Max wanted to die

so Daniel, who is always very professional, entirely bails on both the photo shoot and the interview so he can go home because he needs to see max

and Max lent him his plane because that's a normal thing excessively rich world champions have so it's not a fucking nightmare getting back from... wherever the interview is, somewhere not that far away in europe

and Daniel chooses to respond to Max's documentary clips on instagram

[ASIDE, my beloved friend as I was telling her this over Telegram, in response to that above: WHY????

Me: because this is MY 4am hurt comfort fic baby]

so anyway he makes a text post that just says Max is the bravest and best person he knows, he's fought so hard to be here, and that there hasn't been a day in Daniel's whole entire life that would have been better if Max wasn't here on this planet, and he's so glad he stayed

and then another one which is like, if anyone else feels like they don't want to go on, please stay, people love you, here's some helpline numbers etc

and Max just replies to him with a blue heart

important to understand that this is my four am comfort fic so it is ENTIRELY appropriate that Daniel walks through the door and both hugs him and starts to cry

and Max hugs him back but does not cry because Max has broken through a lot of shit in therapy but he is not a crier

but he IS accidentally in love with Daniel

and Max makes some Choices in his life, as Daniel does, but this choice involves touching Daniel's cheek and glancing at his mouth and then up at Daniel and Daniel kind of nodding and then there is a KISS

which is badly timed really considering that today has been very emotional and Daniel is still crying and has been travelling etc and they've never actually addressed any of this

so Daniel needs a moment and he goes into the bathroom to stare manfully into the mirror and wash his hands and face and when he comes out Max doesn't let him say anything, just launches into a multi point in-person powerpoint about how they should be together

[my friend: maxplaining his way into a relationshippp]

which Daniel, it turns out, entirely agrees with, but he's really kind of emotionally burnt out right now and would really just like a hug and a sit down, so he tells Max yes, of course, but could they just talk about it later and hug right now

How good is Max at listening to instuctions to stop talking?

not marvellous it turns out but daniel kind of likes it when max gets enthusiastic about stuff

even if the stuff in this case is a multipoint argument in favour of them being quite gay together

OH OH OH now we skip forward a bit

to when Max is racing again

first or second race out there for red bull

and daniel is kind of tied to red bull again

anyway Max WINS

hurray etc he's a conquering hero with a recovered broken neck

so once he's out of the car idk he's done the bit with the team and he spies daniel and goes over to hug him, which the cameras in general love, and then he goes off to do some kind of next step celebratory thing, cool-down room, whatever

only partway there he's like... um

has a feeling, one or two, you know the kind of thing

max hasn't historically been very good at feelings

or healthy choices

but anyway, he decides to act on this one, which is to go back to where Daniel is, and kiss him

which is as much of a surprise to daniel as it is to the whole of the media who are still around to film him

and then Max just turns back around and heads for the podium, so there's a very nice accidental shot of Daniel, afterwards, just smiling and ducking his head and touching his thumb to his lip

which turns into a very popular gif

for reasons

Anyway!! there is a LOT of discussion about Max losing his edge now his focus is not only racing

the documentary talks a lot about Max's childhood abuse and limited food intake etc etc but doesn't mention his dad by name

Daniel races again somehow but probably not in the fic

daniel ends up losing some bet or other and has to do a computer game live stream from his living room of some cosy game idk and the whole thing is interupted by max just living his life in the background

max getting up and sleepily saying morning, max going for a run and kissing him hello, max going in and out of the sim, idk, the two of them making weird noises at each other because they still do that

OH I forgot they buy a house together like immediately after getting together

somewhere green again and it's in both their names because they've lived together for a year already and whatever

and still don't tell anyone they're together even though red bull has them residing at the same address

and ZERO people realise until after the kiss on screen

and obviously the docu clips suggest they've been staying together

and Max gets to say to Christian that they literally own a house together when he expresses some degree of surprise at kissing in public

not their fault no one noticed

Forgot to say that max and Daniel get filmed driving about and max stalls his car and doesn’t know if he likes olives and maybe they forget they’re being filmed

And also that when the documentary finally airs all its eps Netflix on Twitter are like “lol bet you can’t figure out which bits we filmed after they got together and which were before because we certainly can’t, lol”

And Daniel’s in the comments, like “do I get a prize if I get it right”

He gets 9/10 clips right but no one but max knows

Anyway when they buy their house max has zero shits to give about the decor so daniel just gets a decorator in and the only thing max wants is a fancy catio for when they’re not there and his new cats want to go outside

Daniel arranges this because he’s a sucker for max.

anyway that's general plot of surviving to drive: the max verstappen recovery story, the end.

#my fic #fic i wish i was writing #except actually this one is just staying my 4am comfort fic #but i've just told it to you too #content warnings for:#suicidal thoughts #mentions of childhood abuse and disordered eating #surviving to drive: the max verstappen recovery story

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ideas-ideasideasideas · 2 months

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JayTim omegaverse AU where Tim presents as an omega when he’s stalking Batman and Jason-as-Robin. Jason finds him collapsed on a rooftop and tries to help him but the proximity triggers his own presentation as an alpha. From there things go to hell in a hand basket and they ride out their first heat/rut together. In the immediate aftermath, once they have both recovered enough presence of mind, they agree that this is no one’s fault but it doesn’t stop Jason from feeling guilty about taking advantage of Tim so he escorts Tim home (in the process finding out they’re neighbours) and asks if there’s anything that he can do for him to make up for whatever the hell just happened.

There’s a lot of trauma to unpack here for the both of them but Tim is barely a teenager and Jason has emotionally repressed Batman for a parental figure so they just mutually decide not to mention it ever again because if you pretend it never happened then it can’t hurt you right? (Wrong.) Anyway, Tim tells Jason that if he really wants to do something for him then maybe he can just not tell Batman that Tim was on a rooftop at night, pretty please? At which point Jason, horrified that a boy Tim’s age is running around on rooftops unsupervised in the most crime-ridden parts of Gotham at the most crime-infested time of the day, makes it his personal duty to figure out why Tim does this and also how he can convince him to NOT do this. What he did to Tim was wrong on so many levels but oh god, what if someone so much worse found Tim instead? He agrees to Tim’s request on the condition that Tim carries a beacon at all times during his nighttime extracurricular activities.

Jason brings the beacon over as soon as possible, which turns out to be the next day after school (as Robin of course), and the sight of Tim alone in a giant house compels him to stay for a while, and a while turns into the rest of the day. Tim shows off the photos he’s taken of Batman and the Robins, and Jason is reluctantly but appropriately impressed by Tim’s stealth.

A friendship grows between them.

And then Jason dies.

And Batman grows too reckless.

And Dick refuses to be Robin again.

And Tim becomes Robin—

Except he doesn’t. Not really. He wears Jason’s Robin suit for a very short time before random bouts of nausea take him off the field. But Batman is still beating the shit out of petty criminals and Tim is desperate to help, so he allows Alfred (bless him) to call him a discreet doctor to ensure that his illness is not due to anything he was exposed to while Batman-wrangling before he’s allowed back on the field. Tim just wants it over and done with quickly so he can get back out there and—

He’s not allowed to back on the field.

He’s holding a little black-and-white picture of a literal human growing inside him and he is absolutely benched until there is no longer a literal human growing inside him.

Doctor Thompkins lays out his options, is brutally honest about how his body (too young, too small) will handle a pregnancy (not well), and asks if there is anything he wants to tell her (if there’s anyone Batman needs to put in jail for touching him). Tim doesn’t have long to consider his options—he’s nearly too far along for most clinics to be comfortable performing an abortion (although, given his age, they might be sympathetic enough to bend the rules if Doctor Thompkins can’t perform the procedure for him).

He decides to keep it, a parting gift from his friend Robin to be cherished beyond his death. There is a difficult conversation with Bruce about the child’s father (no, you can’t arrest them, they’re already dead, no, I’m not defending a heinous rapist, it’s your goddamn son, Bruce, this is your grandchild). An unforeseen but extremely welcome consequence of this is that Batman starts pulling his punches, now that he has something to live for again. He looks only half-broken now and he offers Tim a room at the Wayne manor when he finally learns about Tim’s extremely absent parents.

(Tim worries about how to break the news to his parents until he no longer has to worry about it because his mother is dead and his father is in a coma and god he wanted to avoid having that conversation with them but this wasn’t how he wanted it to happen.)

Properly benched now for the foreseeable future, Tim picks up remote vigilante-wrangling instead (from Babs?) and makes headway in some cold cases. He pulls out of school to be homeschooled instead, keeps out of the public eye, and generally avoids leaving Wayne manor because a thirteen-year-old pregnant omega living alone with an adult alpha (and his butler) is a Very Bad Look even for Brucie Wayne and Tim would rather not be known as Bruce Wayne’s child bride thank you very much.

Life proceeds in this manner, the child is delivered by Caesarian with very little fanfare. It is, unfortunately, very difficult to hide the presence of a whole infant. The public settles on the theory that the child is Bruce’s illegitimate son from one of his many dalliances and Tim allows the misconception to propagate simply because no good can come out of him, all of fourteen, publicly claiming his child. But it still stings, just a little. He made this child, held him safe in his womb for eight months. He puts him to bed and nurses him and loves him so much but nobody outside the manor will see it.

Tim bursts back into society when he’s officially adopted by Bruce. He refused to register his son as Bruce’s (it takes some extremely deft work by Oracle to file the appropriate documents for Tim’s claim on his child to be legally valid without alerting the press) but he also understands that Bruce wants a legal connection to his grandchild, so he becomes his son’s dead father’s legally adopted brother. It’s a mess, but at least people who should be are allowed into hospital rooms. It’s not like it will matter, right? Jason’s dead, right?

Wrong.

Jason is very much not dead and very much bewildered by the presence of a baby Wayne that isn’t Damian and it completely derails his plans to exact revenge on Bruce for not killing the Joker. It fucking hurts to see that he’s been replaced by not one but TWO new children but at least they aren’t Robin. At least no one is Robin. At least one of them is Tim, his lonely friend who deserves a family. He returns to Gotham, heads to Crime Alley, becomes Red Hood, and buries himself in shooting out enough kneecaps to push Bruce and Batman from his mind. That was another life. He’s fucking furious at Bruce and his replacements but god the baby has the same curly hair that Jason did and Jason can’t help but think that Bruce might actually have missed him, at least a little.

But probably not enough to love Jason as he is now, full of anger and rage and impulse to hurt hurt hurt the people who hurt others. He channels it all into cleaning up the Alley, perhaps more aggressively than Batman would (should) have, but Batman doesn’t give enough of a shit about the Alley to know that what he’s doing isn’t enough and it’s up to Jason to get his hands downright filthy if he wants to make any changes around here.

Tim notices Red Hood, because of course he does. And it takes him no time at all to realise, oh, that’s Jason. That’s Jason.

#jaytim #notfic #there's potential for drama here if Jason finds out that the kid is Tim's while still thinking it's Bruce's #especially if Jason and Tim have become friends/lovers as adults #I want to be a fly on the wall when Jason punches Bruce not for Joker still being alive #but for knocking Tim up when he was 'just a fucking child you fucking freak what the fuck'#Bruce with a hand on his smarting cheek like a wronged maiden: ???? that's YOUR child????? what are you on??????

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