#loss of identity

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

The Difficult Parts of Being Autistic That I Don’t Talk About Enough…

Neurodivergent_lou

#autism #actually autistic #autistic experiences #autism burnout #heath issues #financial issues #hate crimes #tw suicide #being misunderstood #loss of identity #feel free to reblog/share #neurodivergent_lou (Facebook)

[withdrawingramen]

cw: implied long-term captivity & torture, loss of identity post captivity, change in the world view

whumpee always thought that in the entirety of the fucked up world, there was some good. someone will sympathize, someone would stand up against wrong, and communities inherently stick with each other, and they'd be a part of the world in some way or the other. but within the duration of all their torture and after being taken out of whumper's grasp, this belief starts to feel more and more alien.

more so when they recall how whumper laughed in their face as they begged to be let go, how whumper's fingers curled in their hair as their half-conscious figure failed to stay awake, and through all the delirium and pain they'd hear every single day; "nobody's coming for you. you'll leave only once i'm bored."

more so when they stare at their clothes churning in the washing machine, when the random stranger in the local laundry noticed them struggling and helped turn the machine on, wondering how such a mundane task required assistance. or when seemingly kind wishes for recovery seem to be forced, attempts at common courtesy disguised as concern. and when they realize they can't remember how to even cook their own favorite recipes anymore, let alone eat without throwing up, or remember how to change the wheels of their bike they cherished so much, or how the tune of that one song went, what their loved ones liked, or how it felt to be a person, they lose a part of themselves they didn't realize they'd been clinging on to.

nothing felt like theirs to choose. whumpee was nothing but remnants of pain, an unfeeling being made of ideals thrust upon them. and it didn't seem to bother those around them. their neighbour down the street still went to work, the university student next door would still blast loud music deep into the night, and whumper would still linger in their head.

and as whumpee gazes at the reflection of their pale, bruised and marred skin in front of the mirror of some random shop, the harsh realization of it all dawns upon them that they were nobody right now, and they didn't know if they even existed before it all. they were nobody without pain. it didn't matter to them, it didn't matter to anyone else. they knew nothing about what it was to be free anymore, and oh, oh does the world truly move on around them regardless

#whump #whump prompt #whump trope #whump tropes #whump prompts #whump scenario #whump scenes #whump writing #whump drabble #whump snippet #implied captivity #post rescue #loss of identity #whumpee #whumper #whump blog #whump community #whumpblr #oh the world moves on #tbh this is just <3

[howifeltabouthim]

He doesn't love me anymore, she mourned, and she became filled with a gut-wrenching terror. For she had grown to depend on his love, and she was firmly convinced that without it she would vaporize, and nothing would be left of her at all.

Anna Biller, from Bluebeard's Castle

#codependent #addicted to love #fear of abandonment #insecure #falling out of love #breakup #relationship #toxic relationship #loss of identity #quotes #lit #words #excerpts #quote #literature #anna biller #bluebeard's castle

[blaiddraws]

Whumptober day 26: Alt prompt, Ringing Ears

ALLLL RIGHT BEASTIES LETS DO THIS ONE LAST TIME

this one is is based on this concept from the other day; black kyurem but everything is bad and wrong

You'll wanna read it over on ao3 because i Did Some Things :) specifically things that don't work with the formatting u can do on tumblr. (i think.)

also here The Creature is, color edition. was considering putting this one as the first image but liked the pose on the other one

#whumptober2022 #altprompt #ringing ears #fulcrum au #twin dragons au #submas au #pokemon #submas #ingo #black kyurem #black kyurem but it's Bad And Wrong #body horror #fear #panic #loss of identity #writing

[majorproblems77]

Alone

Febuwhump day 2 - Solitary confinement

Is it Bully Sky month? It's probably Bully Sky month

Oh this is a slightly different format than my usual, I wanted to try something a little different. I hope it translates well?

#memory loss #loss of identity #blood #linked universe #lu sky #linkeduniverse #linked universe fanfic #febuwhump2024 #day 2

[i-did-not-mean-to]

Fëanorian Week - Ambarussa

It's twin time :) Less sad this time (I hope)

Words: 510

Characters: Amras & Amrod

Prompts: Childhood, Lordship, Regrets, Twin, Hunting

Warnings: Death of an animal, loss of identity, existential fear

Like two shadows cast by a slanted sunbeam hitting a gnarly tree, the twins slid noiselessly closer, arrows notched and eyes narrowed.

They had always delighted in hunting, but their puerile pleasure had since been marred lastingly by the understanding of the true cost of death.

Without having to exchange a single look, let alone a spoken word, they moved in perfect synchronicity as they prepared to bring down their family’s dinner.

It was vital to their pride and identity to contribute to the survival of their rapidly dwindling brotherhood as best they could—too long had they been coddled and excluded on the grounds of their respective youth and irrefutable position on the bottom rung of the familial hierarchy.

Giving a piercing cry of agony, the deer—once a proud guardian of the dark forest—fell to the mossy ground before laying still, its eyes as sightless and dull as discarded gems.

They had triumphed, but their victory tasted bitter, befouled by necessity and dire need as it was.

Already, they could feel the impatience of their elders thrumming in their own veins—they had to move on, ever driven by the siren call of their father’s accursed stones, and there was neither time nor room for leisure or rest.

As they bent over the cadaver to cut away what they wouldn’t need or couldn’t transport, their hands moved with ruthless efficiency while their hearts, beating as one, mourned the unceremonious demise of so proud a beast.

In a world of waxy greens and muddy browns, the narrow bands fastened around their wrists flashed like exotic blossoms, a single dash of muted colour amidst the monochrome of the woods.

Once, the woven bracelets had been positively gleaming, but they had bled out most of their dye over the years, thus becoming a horribly apt representation of the change the twins’ very souls had undergone.

Carnistir, in a slightly insulting jest, had bestowed this simple but invaluable gift upon them to keep them apart.

Back in the days of wild frolicking and courtly appearances, it had been important to keep track of Fëanor’s children, and the two youngest sons had played their part with as much dutiful gravitas as they could muster in between hunts and escapades.

How heedless and callous they’d been, disregarding their caring mother’s pleas and their father’s remonstrances cavalierly to follow their wayward brother into the forest instead of humouring their grandfather or listening to his wise council.

Now, they were no longer sure whether anyone cared which one of them had been born first as long as nobody had to learn which one was to die before the other.

Slinging their packs, dripping with blood and heavy with their gruesome prize, across their broad backs, they padded off as silently as they’d come.

To their brothers and the world, they were one, and they couldn’t even regret having lost their own separate identities if this conflation meant that they’d never truly be alone.

Pityo and Telvo were no more—only Ambarussa, burned and bitter, remained.

-> Masterlist

@feanorianweek, here is the second to last submission!

#og post #fëanorianweek #feanorianweek #IDNMT writes #fanfiction #writing #tolkien writing #jrrt #Ambarussa #Day 5 #Childhood #Lordship #Regrets #Hunting #Twins #Amrod #Amras #animal death #loss of identity

[dissociative-memes]

Text reads: “You. Who is you”

Found on the meme generator

Repost from http://web.archive.org/web/20181201095214/http://whynot-dissociativedegu.tumblr.com:80/tagged/ddmeme/tagged/ddmeme/page/2

#dissociative memes #dissociativedegu #dissociation memes #whynot dissociativedegu #dissociative identities #identity alteration #identity confusion #loss of identity #actually dissociative #dissociative amnesia #osdd memes #did memes #advice animals #dissociative degu #actually did #osdd 1a #osdd #osdd system #did system #stranger in the mirror #depersonalization #dissociative fugue #fugue state #dissociative identity disorder #complex dissociative disorder #dissociation #dissociative disorder #other specified dissociative disorder #did osdd #who am i

[sevilemar]

There is something very wonderful in what Brennan and the crew are creating with Neverafter. Because there are countless versions of these fairy tales out there, from harmless tales where good always wins to grimmer, older versions to seriously fucked up modern shit even I have a hard time looking at. And if the first version was the mildest we are going to get, I'm really excited to see exactly how horrifying they can make it.

What a brilliant idea to have them be different versions of themselves in different stories of themselves, but retain the memories of previous ones. And if I know Brennan's take on making death matter and thinking through consequences, I just bet there are horrific consequences to having memories of multiple lives in your head.

Yes, you may get stronger from a mechanical standpoint, but how much of a concept of reality and being real/a (real) person can you really retain? Maybe Cinderella has another reason for never taking off her armour. Maybe Snow White has another reason for learning so much magic. How terrifying and horrible is it going to be for the players when their characters are starting to loose their identity, or watch their friends loose theirs? It doesn't even have to be violent. I feel like it would be a very Brennan thing to do.

But honestly, I really don't think I can predict anything, and I'm glad I trust them enough to just enjoy the ride. Whatever they come up with, I know it's gonna be horrific and creative, and I'm already glad that there's a good chance, based on their track record, that it will ultimately be satisfying to me.

#neverafter #dimension 20 #identity #loss of identity

[howlovelyhana]

The borderlined life excerpt five from my poetry book:

Who is she? The girl in the mirror. I’ve never met her. Somehow I have lost myself, from when I was a child till now, Ive lost her. I’ve done everything to find myself again. I’ve changed my hair, ruined my body and bought every outfit they told me would look good. But I can’t find her. I don’t know who I am or what Ive become. The girl in the mirror is a ghost and so is that child I once was.

#bpd diary #bpd #bpd thoughts #bpd poetry #dissociation #loss of identity #body dysmorphia #bpd girlies #sad thoughts #i miss the old me #who am i

[greyaugustuspoetry]

Drive past my old highschool

I’m 16 all over again

Back when everything was simple and grand

I had friends and a plan

I start laughing remembering all of it

Maybe I can be happy one more time

Go past 99 and it starts sinking in

The death of my dog

And the loss of my innocence

That girl died and I got sick

My skin got old and he left me pinned

The anger starts to anew

The things I lost here, the smile I knew

It’s all suffocating me, I can’t get through

I’m back at the start

Will someone help hold my heart?

-Grey Augustus

#poetry #poets of tumblr #poetic #poems of tumblr #sad poetry #young poets #mental health #mental illness #poem #losing a friend #losing you #loss of innocence #loss of identity #losing my shit #growing up #growingupsucks #getting older #depressing life #this is depressing #feeling lonely #feeling lost #feeling low

[sharry-arry-odd]

How could she say that she was so tired–that whatever was going on in her chest was so incredibly urgent that if she closed her eyes and let it happen, she could probably die right there, right then? How to say that she wanted to go as /Nona/–with all her thoughts and feelings being Nona feelings, which might only be about six months old and therefore not very good, but were still her own?

Nona the Ninth, by Tamsyn Muir

#page 441 #nona the ninth #nona #tamsyn muir #the locked tomb #THE FEELS #death #dying #loss of self #loss of identity #quote #quotes #literature #book #booklr #reading #fave #nona's whole grieving process in knowing she's going to die really gets to me #she was so content with it when she thought she would just end #but the idea of being subsumed by someone else is so terrifying and violating to her #and i can't blame her #who would want that #it's one thing to die and be remembered for who you were #it's another entirely to be replaced and written over #people can promise they won't forget you but you'll never know if it's true in the end

[howifeltabouthim]

I suspended the use of myself; that is, I was not here, I was not the actor within my body, but rather an audience for the scenes my body performed, a reader of the fictions my body lived.

Catherine Lacey, from Biography of X

#dissociation #loss of identity #faking it #out of body #autopilot #performance #i'm not here #i'm gonna leave my body #description #coping mechanism #quotes #lit #words #excerpts #quote #literature #concept #catherine lacey #biography of x #not real #unreality

[alvinmichaelmurphyseville]

“If my ego died and then came back to life, does it make it a zombie ego now?”

#alvin seville #alvin and the chipmunks #alvinnn and the chipmunks #alvin 2.0 #alternate universe #ego #loss of identity #finding myself #zombies #halloween #thoughts #weird thoughts

[yewsoup]

I'mmmm posting this one as a link. It's already really wacky. It will not do it any good to be split up over multiple tumblr posts.

In which the Kidz Bop version of Time Warp proves Ironic, and Subway Bosses suffer for it.

Words: 11456

Subway Boss Ingo graystone leaves to investigate issues caused by a rogue pokemon on one of the tracks.

He is never seen again.

(But he's still here. And two years ago. And thirteen minutes before he was born. And a millenia ago. All over the timeline, really. And eventually he stops screaming for someone to finally notice him. Just glad that that man wearing white is doing okay without him as he sings the tune trapped in his mind to himself. Thinking it quite ironic.)

So dear reader, delve in, and Let's Do The Time Warp Again~

#writing #pokemon #submas #ingo #emmet #ingo and emmet #isadore #furze #depot agents #palkia #arceus #nonlinear narrative #loss of identity #and a great many other fucked up things #time warp #kids bop music

[dissociative-memes]

[Image: 18-piece background, alternating between blue & orange with a picture of a young degu in the middle. Top text reads: “FORGET HOW OLD I AM” Bottom text reads: “FORGET THAT CHECKING THE TIME WON’T HELP ME FIGURE OUT MY AGE”]

Repost from http://web.archive.org/web/20181201095214/http://whynot-dissociativedegu.tumblr.com:80/tagged/ddmeme/tagged/ddmeme/page/2

http://web.archive.org/web/20181201095214/http://whynot-dissociativedegu.tumblr.com:80/tagged/ddmeme/tagged/ddmeme/page/2

#dissociativedegu #dissociative memes #dissociation memes #whynot dissociativedegu #advice animals #dissociative amnesia #dissociative fugue #fugue state #loss of identity #other specified dissociative disorder #osdd memes #osdd 1a #did osdd #did system #did symptoms #actually did #did memes #dissociative degu #dissociative identity disorder #complex dissociative disorder #dissociative episode #those dissociative feels #actually dissociative

[sickly-honeylamb]

#vent #cw vent #traumacore #trauma #cptsd vent #tw cptsd #tw vent #tw childhood trauma #tw abuse #tw traumacore #tw emotional trauma #tw emotional abuse #emotional abuse #identity loss #loss of identity #only child vent #tw loss of identity #forced loss of identity #tw forced loss of identity #tw murder mention #tw metaphorical murder #metaphorical murder