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strvngeweather · 3 months

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How to Get Rid of Your Virginity; a one shot.

💘PAIRING: badboy!jungkook x theaternerd!reader 💘GENERE: College AU, smut, a little fluff 💘WORD COUNT: 4.6K 💘WARNINGS: Smut, smut, and more smut. 💘SUMMARY: You've always been the good girl who followed the rules but you're ready to shed that image and lose your virginity to the college's resident bad boy: Jungkook. 💘AUTHOR'S NOTE: Apparently, I really got into my feelings with this fic. A bit of sweetness at the end but mostly smut. I hope you enjoy!

Opposites attract – at least, that’s what your best friend, Elena, had told you. She had provided you with solid proof too.

“Just take a look around,” she had said, a cup full of vodka and cherry-flavored juice in her hand, motioning toward the various partygoers. She pointed out an art student cuddled up with a girl who looked like she belonged on the arm of a footballer. “That’s Taehyung. His girlfriend is the ‘All-American Girl’ type and he’s a huge nerd. But they’re in love.”

You nodded. “Okay, they’re the exception.”

She shook her head, taking a long sip, wincing at the burn of the alcohol. “Okay, what about them?” She pointed at Jimin. Jimin was your textbook Type-A worker bee. He was known to avoid large social gatherings like this but here he was, leaning against a wall, his girlfriend in his arms. He kissed her lightly on the neck before grabbing a hearty handful of her ass. “That is our resident party girl cuddled up with our best scholar.”

“He’s a fine scholar,” You admitted, and Elena agreed. “Okay, so what’s your point?”

“My point,” Elena began, taking another long sip. “Are that people from different sides of the track get together all the time. Cheerleader and nerd, party girl, and punctual pupil. Nerdy theater geek and super delicious bad boy.”

You were the nerdy theater geek she had been referencing and the delicious bad boy? That title belonged to Jungkook.

You glanced over at him. He was standing between Taehyung and Jimin, effortlessly chatting the night away. Jungkook had been on your radar ever since you started attending this university two years ago. He was an upperclassman, so you didn’t run into him often but when you did, you savored every second you got to gaze upon him. The man was beautiful. But make no mistake, this was not a crush. You thought he was sexy as hell, but you weren’t into him. You were a future Broadway star and Jungkook? Well, you don’t know what his future entailed but it was starkly different from yours. You were sure of it. There was no way you two would work out romantically.

You wanted him for different reasons. More carnal reasons. You wanted him to take your virginity.

But, while you wanted him, you weren’t sure if he wanted you. You didn’t look like his type – you assumed. But Elena was attempting to convince you otherwise.

“I just don’t think he’d be down for it,” you said with a shrug. “I mean, he’s not into girls like me.”

“He’s a man!” Elena said, her voice raised. You knew that was a sign that the liquor was kicking in for her. “He’s into any girl who wants to bone him! Go over there!”

Elena pushed you toward him, but you stopped, glaring at her. “What would I even say? ‘Hey, Jungkook, wanna fuck?’”

Elena nodded and gave you a blank stare. “That sounded perfect. What’s stopping you?”

You groaned. Of course, Elena would think that’s an acceptable way to approach a man but before you could protest, she was signaling Jungkook to come over. Your eyes widened, a mortifying feeling washing over you.

I could kill her, you thought, I could kill her and bury the body beneath the school’s theater.

Jungkook looked at Elena, a confused look etched across his handsome features. Then, he did the unthinkable. He began to walk over.

He stopped just short of the both of you, the wallflowers for the night, and smiled. “Good evening, ladies, how can I help you?”

Elena nudged you and you opened your mouth to speak but found only your pride, self-respect, and the last shred of confidence falling out of your mouth and onto the floor to be stomped on by a slew of drunken college students. Elena, noticing your mouth open and a dazed look on your face, rolled her eyes and blurted out, “She wants to fuck you.”

This is it, you thought, this is how I die.

But it wasn’t.

Because Jungkook’s eyes raked over you, a hint of lust clouding behind them, and smiled. “Oh, really?”

You nodded, fear and excitement striking into your heart.

Elena continued, “She’s been waiting to make a move all night, but she’s been too afraid to.”

Jungkook looked at you. “Consent is sexy, so I have to hear it from your mouth.”

You swallowed thickly, slowly nodding. “She’s not, I mean, I’m not –” You stopped, taking a deep breath. “Yes. Coitus is something I’d like to experience with you – I mean, if you’re up for it.”

He held out his hand. “Well, let’s go experience it.”

“Right now?”

“Why not?”

You looked between him and Elena searching for a reason as to why now wasn’t a good time to get your back blown out, but you couldn’t find one. Not a good one, anyway. So, you put on a brave face, took his hand, and let him lead you upstairs and into the nearest empty bedroom.

You didn't know who this bedroom belonged to as it had no signs of life. A basic dark wood dresser hugged the right wall, a few sports posters lined the walls and a simple full-sized bed with white and blue bedding sat in the middle of the floor. Jungkook took a seat on the bed, and you sat next to him, unable to meet his eye.

“Come here,” he said, cupping your face and drawing you forward.

He wanted a kiss, so you followed his lead, but your nose bumped into his. “I’m so sorry!” You said in a panicked voice. “I – I didn’t mean for –”

“It’s okay,” he said through a small laugh. Another attempt at a kiss was made but instead of bumping noses, you bumped foreheads. He rubbed his forehead, scrunching up his face. “Maybe we skip kissing,” he said, standing up. “How about this instead?” He began to climb on top of you. You readjusted yourself, hoping to make things flow more smoothly but you ended up kneeing him in the stomach.

“Fuck, I am so sorry!” You said as you watched him grit his teeth.

“It’s okay,” he said once again and rounded the other side of the bed. He took a seat and laid back. “Why don’t you come lay beside me?”

You nodded. You got up and laid down next to him.

“Why don’t you lead?” Jungkook suggested and you silently agreed that that might be for the best.

You began to get up but found your elbow stabbing him in the chest.

This was going horribly.

“Are you sure you want to have sex?” Jungkook asked.

“I do,” you said quietly, biting your lip. “I’m just really nervous.”

Jungkook narrowed his eyes at you. “Why are you nervous?”

You chewed on your bottom lip, avoiding his gaze. How do you tell one of the hottest guys on campus that you’re a virgin? A lonely loser virgin?

“If it’s me, then there’s nothing to be nervous about,” Jungkook said. “I’m not as experienced as everyone says I am. I mean, I have had sex with quite a few people – all safe and consensual of course – but I’m nothing like the lothario people say I am. I mean, I’m just –”

You cut him off. “I’m nervous because I’m a virgin.”

The room went quiet. Too quiet. Embarrassingly quiet. If there was a God, he would have taken mercy on you and allowed the world to swallow you at this exact moment. But no, mercy did not shine a light on you this day.

“And you wanted me to take your virginity?”

He seemed more surprised that you had chosen him as your virginity taker than the fact that you were still a virgin. Regardless, you nodded. “Yeah, I figured if I was going to lose it, I might as well lose it to someone hot.”

His cheeks flashed a crimson color. “Don’t you want your first time to be special?”

You scoffed. “First off, virginity is just a construct and secondly, it would have been special no matter what because it’s my first time and I was in control. Besides, I’ve got a bucket list to finish this year.”

Jungkook looked at you. “Oh yeah? What else is on your list?”

“Smoking weed. I’ve never been high before.”

And just like that, Jungkook produced a blunt out of his back pocket. “You’re in luck. Listen, I don’t think the sex thing is going to happen tonight, but I can smoke you out.”

You felt relief wash over you. There was still hope. He said it wouldn’t happen tonight not that it wouldn’t happen ever – hey, it may have been delulu but you were going to take it and ride off with it into the sun. You watched closely as Jungkook lit the blunt, taking a few deep inhales, holding it in, and then exhaling, coughing along the way. Your first few attempts at smoking the joint were failures but after the third try, you got the hang of it. You also coughed a lung out but the serene feeling that flowed through you a few moments later was worth it.

The blunt had been reduced to a roach and you and Jungkook were lying on the bed, laughing and talking about everything under the sun. You learned he was a film major and planned on moving to Los Angeles after graduation to pursue a career out there. When you told him you wanted to be the next Audra McDonald, he didn’t laugh or tease you like so many others had before. He thought your love of theater was cool and asked you a million questions about it. He found it impressive that you could hold such high notes while doing intricate choreography. Finally, a silence settled over the two of you as the green forced you both into an extreme high.

“Can I ask you something?” Jungkook’s voice was like molasses, thick and slow. Or maybe you were just so damn high that’s how you heard it.

“Mhm,” you hummed.

“What’s the farthest you’ve gone?”

“Like traveling?”

He shook his head. “No, I mean … with sex.”

“Oh,” you replied. “Um, I’ve jerked a guy off before.”

“Have you …” he began but trailed off. He turned his head to look at you, attempting to gauge your reaction. “Ever received oral?”

You shook your head. “Nah.”

“You want to?”

You froze, and a sobering feeling hit you like a pillow full of soap. The idea of getting your coochie licked sounded damn good right now, especially with the weed in your system. “Yeah, I mean, I guess I’d like to try it one day.”

“How about today?”

You could still feel Jungkook’s eyes on you. Well, shit. You had already crossed one item off your bucket list. Might as well cross another. So, you said, “Yeah, let’s do it.”

Within seconds, Jungkook was between your legs, lifting your pleated skirt to your hips and sliding your baby pink panties down. Your body froze as you felt a finger slide in between your slits. “A virgin who shaves,” you heard him muse, mostly to himself. A thumb began rubbing your clit and a gasp escaped your throat. Before you could say something else, his tongue was on your lips. Your … other lips. It darted out, parting your lips and flicking against your clit in a feverish way.

Your back arched in response and you felt as if all the air in your lungs had left your body. You found your hands gripping the white sheets as he buried his face deeper between your legs, his tongue sliding in and out of your hole before traveling up and down your slit and finally focusing back on your clit. The sensation became a little too much and you squirmed away, hoping to ease some of the intensity but that only made things worse. Jungkook wrapped his hands around your thick thighs, pulling you closer, spread your legs apart further, and kept his hands gripped on your thighs, ensuring you wouldn’t be going too far. “Don’t run from it,” you heard him whisper.

You’re not sure how long he was at it but by the time your world turned white, you were making noises only a dog could hear.

. . . . .

It wasn’t in your nature to willingly be a third wheel, but the town’s annual spring fair was here and there was no way you were going to miss it. Even if Elena insisted on bringing her boyfriend, Felix. The night wasn’t all bad though. You had spotted Jungkook hanging with a few of his friends and the two of you waved at each other. It had been three weeks since the party and the two of you had kept in contact, texting each other funny memes here and there, sometimes talking on the phone late into the night but nothing more, nothing less.

As the three of you waited in line for the Ferris wheel, you noticed that the ride only allowed pairs. That took care of Elena and Felix but what about you?

“Can you believe that? Since when has the Ferris wheel been limited to two people at a time?” You turned around to face your best friend, but she wasn’t listening. She was too busy using her tongue to excavate Felix’s mouth. You groaned. “Of course, you two would choose now to suck face.”

The line moved forward, and it was your turn to get on. The ride operator gave you a pitiful look. “You got a partner?” He asked but he knew the answer to that. Just as you were about to step out of line to die of embarrassment in a dark and quiet place, your knight in shining armor appeared.

“I’m her partner.”

Jungkook. Sweet, sweet, Jungkook. Sweet, delicious, Jungkook who smelled like heaven and was wearing a red button-up shirt that showed off all his muscles. What? Sue you for noticing!

Jungkook held out his hand and you took it, the two of you loading on the ride and strapping in. Elena smirked at you as the ride began. The ride slowly lifted you and Jungkook up a few feet and then paused, allowing Elena and Felix to board.

“Thanks for saving the day,” you said with a smile. “The Ferris wheel is my favorite ride.”

“No shit, mine too,” Jungkook replied.

Your eyes brightened. “Really? You don’t seem like the type.”

“What type do I seem like?”

“A coaster man.”

“I like coasters too,” he admitted. “But something about the Ferris wheel just calms me, you know?”

“Yeah,” you said. “I get that.”

“So, how’s your bucket list going? Cross off anything else?” Jungkook asked as the Ferris wheel began moving again and then paused, allowing another couple on.

“I have,” you told him excitedly. “Elena and I went skinny dipping two days ago.”

“Damn, I’m sad I missed that one,” Jungkook said with a cheeky smile. “Still a virgin?”

“Still a virgin.”

Jungkook looked at you, his eyes falling to your exposed legs. You were wearing a plaid overall dress and a long-sleeved white shirt underneath. You wondered for a moment if he was judging your fashion choices until he licked his lips and you saw the lust clouding his eyes. “Ever been fingered?”

You shrugged; a sheepish smile found its way to your face. “Only when you ate me out that one time.”

“But never in public?”

“Of course not.”

He looked at you, his eyes begging for permission and as the Ferris wheel began moving again, forcing you and Jungkook to the top, his hands found their way between your thighs. He rubbed your core through your panties. You felt him lean over, his lips brushing against your neck before peppering kisses across your chin. You couldn’t help but giggle as he pushed your panties to the side, and you felt two fingers slide up and down your already-wet slit.

You felt your heart beating faster in his chest when he slid a finger inside and used his thumb to rub circles on your clit. The sensation was quickly becoming too much for you. Especially in public of all places. But as the Ferris wheel worked its way down, you were as well. Your orgasm slowly washed away as the ride finally came to a stop, allowing you and Jungkook to get off.

“Thanks for the ride,” you told him and in response, he kissed your cheek and made his way back to his friends.

…

It was official: You and Jungkook were friends. Like actual friends. You talked to him just as much as you talked to Elena, if not more. You had met his friends and his friend’s girlfriends. You spent time at his apartment. He smoked you out at least once a week and the last time the two of you decided to go on an impromptu diner trip, the waitress mistook you for a couple.

That’s why it wasn’t a surprise when he accompanied you to the library today. You both had papers due and decided to study together. However, you found that the two of you didn’t get much studying done and instead spent most of your time together making jokes and trying to steer clear of the librarian’s wrath.

In an attempt to get some serious studying done, Jungkook suggested getting a table at the back of the library. As you followed him to the back of the library, you noticed a couple, deep within the library aisles, where students rarely went, getting it on. You stopped Jungkook, tugging on his sleeve. “Look!” You whispered. “Oh my god, isn’t that Jimin?”

An approving smile pulled at the corner of Jungkook’s lips. “Yeah. Ever since he met his girlfriend, he’s become such a horn dog.”

You couldn’t take your eyes off the couple. Jimin had his girlfriend leaning on a bookshelf for support, her pants pulled down to her knees and his face buried between her ass cheeks. You hated to say it but it kind of turned you on. Jungkook took your hand and pulled you along.

“He’s not afraid of getting caught?” You asked.

Jungkook shrugged. “I don’t think so. They fuck in the library all the time. That’s actually how they became a couple. He was her tutor.”

You felt a pool of heat settling in your core, forcing a weather change down under. “God, that’s hot.”

Jungkook stopped walking and looked at you. “You want to try?”

“You mean, fucking in the library?” The idea excited you, but you weren’t exactly sure you wanted to get fully plowed in public yet. “I don’t know about penetration but … maybe some head would be cool.”

Jungkook licked his lips. “I can’t lie, I’ve been wanting to taste you again.”

You shook your head as he led you further into the book aisles. “No, I mean I want to give you head.”

He stopped. “You sure?”

“Yeah, teach me how to suck dick,” you said and then cringed once you heard the words. “That didn’t sound as sexy as I hoped it would have.

He smiled, licking his lips. “Say less,” he pulled you into a corner and unzipped his pants. He pulled his jeans and boxers down but only slightly and produced his semi-hard dick.

“You’re already excited?” You asked and then realized this was your first time seeing his dick. No wonder he was known as the lover, you thought, grabbing it and feeling the weight of it in your hand. “Well, shit.”

“You ready?” He asked and you nodded, slowly dropping to your knees. He guided you lovingly on how to properly give head but also explained that everyone was different so the way he liked it wouldn’t necessarily be the way another guy liked it. But the way he liked it was known as the ‘vacuum suck.’ He wasn’t into the bells and whistles of sloppy head but preferred something nice and clean and something that felt like his soul was being sucked out of him.

And that, you did. Or at least you gave it the old college try.

You stroked his large dick, your hand running up and down his thick shaft as your tongue flicked over his head. Precum painted your lips as you attempted to slide his entire member into your mouth. It wouldn't fit and Jungkook didn't force it. Above you, he squirmed in delight, his hands threading through your dark locks, gripping ever so slightly.

“Touch my balls, baby girl,” Jungkook said through a low grunt. Your pussy does backflips at the sound of being called ‘baby girl’ but you can’t linger on that too long. Jungkook has your head in his hands and he’s slowly but surely fucking your face. “Agh … I’m going to cum …” He began to pull his dick out, but you didn't let him, instead you did something that you’ve seen countless times on Twitter memes. You suck harder and you kept sucking well after he came. You’d never heard a man squeal before but you’re sure that’s what Jungkook did before you finally popped his dick out of your mouth.

…

Summer was steadily approaching, the weather going from tolerable to the heat of the devil’s ass crack. It’s why Jungkook had suggested that the two of you head to the coast for the weekend. “It would be way cooler out there,” he had said, and you couldn’t argue. So, on a Friday evening, you climbed on the back of his motorcycle and the two of you headed off to the beach for the weekend.

As two broke college students, you didn’t have enough money to afford a fancy hotel, so you settled for a run-down motel room, but it was clean, and the bed was comfortable enough. Jungkook had purchased every snack in the vending machine that night and the two of you shared stories over eight-dollar bottles of wine, BBQ chips, and sour gummies. After finishing off your second bottle of wine, Jungkook lit up a blunt and the two of you shared it, laying back on the motel room bed with the shabby television playing a novella in the background.

“Y/N, I think you may be my best friend.”

“I think you may be right,” you agreed, laughing.

“I can’t believe school will be ending soon,” Jungkook said.

“I know. What am I going to do without you?” you said, a genuine sadness reaching your voice.

“We’re going to stay friends. You’ll come visit me in Los Angeles and I’ll come visit you in New York. You’ll be there when I receive my first Oscar and I’ll be there when you get your first Tony,” Jungkook said with a smile. And you could hear the sincerity in his voice. Even if none of that happened, in this moment right here and right now, Jungkook believed it did and that’s what you loved most about him.

You always thought love was like an arrow. Shooting you in the heart, causing you to instantaneously know that you had fallen but looking at Jungkook in the darkness of this shabby motel room, you realized love wasn’t like that at all. Love was slow and easy. It was sweet. It was kind. It was a soft spring day. It was impromptu trips to your favorite diners. It was sharing secrets in your most special places. It was laughing to your belly ached in the back of a car. It was trips to eat your weight in sushi and then getting ice cream even though you swore you couldn’t eat another bite. It was wiping your tears away at four in the morning because you didn’t get the role in the school play. It was sitting up all night with each other watching the sun rise because he was too anxious to sleep. It was the perfect and it was the imperfect. It was nothing and it was everything. It was you and it was Jungkook.

And right here, right now, you realized that you were in love with Jungkook.

“Jungkook,” you said, looking at him and he turned his head, smiling that beautiful smile. “I love you.”

He stared at you for a moment, studying your features. A hand reached out and cupped your cheek. “I love you too, Y/N.”

You scooted closer to Jungkook and kissed him. It was a soft and sound kiss. Slow and sensual. And he kissed you back with just as much patience. Your arms and legs tangled together, and soon you found your clothes melting away. You felt his lips wrapped around your nipples, his tongue going across your stomach. His hands stroking your pussy with an excruciating softness. You felt his muscles flexing beneath your fingertips, the weight of his manhood in your hands and then in your mouth.

His body reacted with such pleasure as you gave him head. You sucked slowly, making sure every inch of his manhood was wet with your spit. Jungkook stopped you early, citing how much he still wanted to taste you so you laid you on your back and spread your legs, exposing your most sensitive parts but Jungkook shook his head. He guided you on top of him, and you lowered your precious gem to his face. He licked hungrily. Savoring every drop of you. His hands found their way to your round ass and groped the fleshy curves as his tongue dug deeper into you. An electric wave of pleasure washed over you, your body writhing in sweet agony.

As you lay down beside him, he got on top of you. “Are you sure?” He asked. “If you don’t want to go this far, we can stop right now.”

But you didn’t want to stop. You wanted this. You wanted him. You silently nodded for him to continue and Jungkook rolled a condom onto his hardened dick. He positioned himself at your entrance and quietly said, “Here we go.”

He started slowly. You felt an indescribable pressure in your lower abdomen as he continued to slide in but it wasn’t bad. It was just different. He used his right hand to play with your breasts.

His pace quickened. You closed your eyes, biting your lip as the pressure waned, and in came pleasure. He lifted your legs and placed them on his shoulders. This new angle forced a new sensation to bubble within you. It felt amazing but there was a heaviness to it that you couldn’t quite describe. His hand found your clit, rubbing circles on it as he began to fuck you faster. You didn’t think you could cum twice in one night, but Jungkook proved you wrong. A few short moments later, Jungkook’s face tightened, and he let out a deep grunt before falling on top of you. After a moment, he rolled off.

“So how was it experiencing coitus with me?” Jungkook asked, breathing heavily.

You couldn’t help but laugh. “It was amazing.”

“I’m just glad you didn’t beat my ass this time.”

You cringed, thinking of the night the two of you met. You rolled to your side, putting your arm around him and your head on his chest. In response, he put his arms around you as well, pulling you close.

“What does this mean for us?” you asked.

“It means that I hope you accept when I ask you out on a date,” he said, kissing the top of your head.

“I’ll have to think about it,” you said. “I’ve got one more thing to cross off my bucket list.”

“What’s that?”

You motioned toward the window in the room, outside of it, the beach. “Sex on the beach times two. I want to drink the drink while doing the act.”

With a smile, Jungkook got up and put on his pants. He looked at you, “Well don’t just sit there, let’s go have sex on the beach while we drink sex on the beach.”

#bts smut #bts fanfic #bts fic #bts x reader #bts x black reader #bts x black girl #bts x fem!reader #jungkook fic #jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook x black reader #jungkook x oc

2K notes · View notes

lexischococoveredblueberries · 5 months

Note

Can you make a veneer x reader where reader is supposedly assistant but actually a super famous model/popstar? Velvet and Veneer only realize that their assistant was no ordinary person, (Veneer notices it first) but a celebrity more popular than them (Velvet only realizes when they go to reader's concert that Veneer begged Velvet to go with him) :3 (also reader took the job because they wanted to try having "a normal job" for once and for the possibility of making friends with other popstars) and can we choose our stage names ourselves?

my first request, thank u!!! i love this plot omg…, absolutely >o<

F/S/N : first stage name

L/S/N : last stage name

┊┊❁ཻུ۪۪♡ ͎. ｡˚ 　　° ┊┊❁ཻུ۪۪♡ ͎. ｡˚ 　　° ┊┊❁ཻུ۪۪♡ ͎. ｡˚

• falling for fame •

veneer x FEM!reader

• one shot

• fluff

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫ .・。

“goodnight, Velvet and Veneer.”

you closed the door to their dressing room and

dashed down the hall. you had just finished helping

Velvet and Veneer get un-ready from their

performance, which was absolutely spectacular.

every time you watch them perform you’re taken

away by how they control an audience and how their

aura beams across the room. being their assistant ,

you kind of have to say things like that for appeal, but

you really meant it 99% of the time.

the other the majority of that percentage was from

what you took by watching Venner, though.

whenever you watched him dance and sing and

seem so relaxed, you can’t help but feel the urge to

start moving too.

maybe he was your inspiration when you decided to become your own star.

now out of the building, you hurried down a small

trail behind the overly large structure which led to an

underground neighbourhood that was lightened up

by old bulbs hanging from trees and cheap

streetlights. this place didn’t really have any

meaning , well, of course until you showed up.

you had finally made it to another building , where

you dragged yourself to your own dressing room.

after running up many stairs, you let your huge work

tote bag down and started undressing, throwing your

robe on as you waited for someone.

knock knock

there she was.

“come in,” you called and the door opened. Georgia,

your own assistant , came through holding clothes in

her arms and lots of small bags. she smiles brightly

at you.

“oh, y/n, thank goodness. i almost thought you

ditched on all of us.” she jokes, putting the outfit

down on your mini sofa beside your vanity which you

sat at. Georgia was a sweet woman, who was a

mother to a small boy, Finn, you had met one or

twice. she was a dream assistant to anyone who

wanted one that didn’t bark or bitch.

“i would never abandon you, Gia. the siblings were

busy today, Velvet wanted extra touch ups and such.”

you explained while Georgia set up curling irons and

laid out makeup brushes. you seen her smile slyly at

you.

“oh, really? it wasn’t because you got caught up

staring holes in the back of her brothers head? huh,

how strange.” she teased you, and you fought back a

huge smile that threatened to take up your whole

face.

“sure, whatever helps you sleep at night.” you

murmur, trying to hide the embarrassment in your

voice, but obviously failing.

you sort of wished Veneer would show up, if only he

knew. you weren’t sure WHY he didn’t know,

Velvet either, considering you were popular enough

for plenty of people to know about.

you tried to shrug it off, but you still felt weird about

it. you guessed they had better things to worry

about, that wasn’t you.

( performance ref pictures for anyone that wants them, if not then imagine to your hearts content )

┊┊┊┊ ➶ ❁۪ ｡˚ ✧ ┊┊┊┊ ➶ ❁۪ ｡˚ ✧ ┊┊┊┊ ➶ ❁۪ ｡˚

Meanwhile…

“goodnight, Velvet and Veneer.”

you closed the door, and Veneer bit the inside of his

cheek.

“i wonder where she goes after her shifts.” he

wonders out loud, crossing his arms. Velvet looks at

him like he said something out of pocket, and she

scoffed.

“hm, well, i don’t really give a shit. she can do what

she wants, can’t she?” she said in a snarky tone,

gathering her things together and throwing her now

free hair into a loose ponytail. you did an amazing job

with being able to get all of the product out of their

hair , and Veneer only noticed how flawless it was

now.

Velvet headed towards the door and looked back at

Veneer.

“i’m heading home, Ven. you following ?” she asked,

raising an eyebrow. Veneer was still staring at the

door from when you walked out, but he looked at

Velvet and smiled.

“yeah, eventually. go on, i’ll get a ride later.” he

replied. Velvet kind of gave a side eye to a fake

camera and shrugged. “mkay.. ciao.” she closed the

door on her way out.

Veneer waited a second. two. three.

he scrambled, threw on a pullover hoodie and bolted

out the door, following after you.

he panicked half the time, hoping that he looked like

a janitor on his way home from his shift , and frankly

he did. he followed you out of the building and down

the strange path that he didn’t even knew existed,

but he tried not to question it.

he made sure not to get too close , but also not too

far away, not because he was afraid of losing sight of

you, but also to make sure you wouldn’t get hurt.

now he saw what he walked into, a beautiful

underground neighborhood that almost looked like a

child’s dream treehouse. he was so taken aback that

he lost sight of you and began to panic. you

vanished in thin air, and he almost turned around to

run. but then he started hearing music, from a stage

from the middle of the grounds.

“what…” he whispered. he began walking towards it.

it took him a few minutes to get there, and when he

did, loads of people started flooding the ground, and

he became afraid of people recognizing him. he

pulled the hood further up but made sure to keep his

eyes on the stage. but it just got worse from there.

he could’ve swore the ENTIRE neighborhood was

flooded with people; 3x the crowd that Veneer and

Velvet get. Veneer began to over think.

‘Vel wouldn’t be happy about this…’ he thought to

himself, and he was about to leave again, when all

the lights on stage went off. people began cheering

and screaming as the sound of footsteps tapped on

the stage. the lights came back on, and Veneer seen

a tall lady standing at the front of the stage in a suit

holding a microphone

“you’ve all been waiting long enough! please welcome our loved, F/S/N L/S/N to the stage!”

more cheering commenced and Veneer was getting

confused. he certainly didn’t know that name. that

was until the lady left the stage and someone else

took the lead behind her.

Veneer froze.

“oh my god.” he said out loud. you appeared at the

front of the stage, backup dancers behind you. you

posed with confidence and gazed the crowd like you

owned it. he stood and stared like that’s what he was

born to do.

it was a magnificent performance.

As much as he adored Velvet and everything

she did was better than what anyone else

could do, he couldn’t say the same thing

right now.

he gazed and was lost in a trance; at the

way you danced, sung like you were holding

in a voice of gold since you were born and

controlled the audience with every striking

belt. this was probably the best show

Veneer has ever seen, and his heart

squeezed, wondering how this girl he swore

he knew ended up being someone

completely different.

after your performance, Veneer felt as if something

apart of him bloomed. that was all he needed to see

to feel complete. his supposedly normal assistant

was actually a pop star that he casually never knew

about ?

he wanted to go see you. he wanted to run backstage

and ask a million questions, but he knew he couldn’t.

not right now. instead, he ran off somewhere where

people weren’t and pulled out his phone and dialled

Velvet. she picked up after a few rings.

“what Veneer.”

“hi sis, uhm, were you AWARE that y/n, our

ASSISTANT, is a pop star???”

there was silence.

“…what the hell are you talking about? also where are

you??”

“listen, vel, i….i followed y/n here. i was curious of

her outside life and i accidentally discovered that

she’s super famous , and i kid you not that she’s

almost as famous as WE ARE. i’m bringing you here

tomorrow.”

“uhm. sure.” she sounded unsure.

“okay. i’m coming home.” he hung up and looked at

the stage one last time before leaving.

the next day…

after a long day of Veneer struggling to hide the face

that he knew about your “secret” , the time finally

came for Veneer to bring Velvet to your show. he

stood anxiously in their dressing room, picking at his

hands and clearing his throat repetitively. Velvet

noticed this as she was packing her things.

“uhm, what’s up with that? you’re the one that

wanted to bring me to her in the first place.” she

questioned, putting a hand on her hip as she

examined her brothers anxious gestures.

Veneer looked at her and suddenly stopped, running

his fingers through his hair.

“i-i don’t know what you’re talking about. let’s go?”

he tried to change the conversation. Velvet would’ve

protested but she kind of wanted to get this over

with, but of course she had to throw in a remark.

“you like her.”

Veneers heart pumped furiously as the thought was

put in his head.

“no. well.. no! velvet.” he became embarrassed by her

comment and suddenly wanted to disappear. she

laughed.

“you’re really bad at hiding your feelings. i’m your

sister, i would know.” she smirked and opened the

door. “move it.”

he shook his head and went out the door, Velvet

closing it behind him.

Veneer guided his sister to the underground tunnel-

ish place and she grimaced with her voice.

“oh my god, it’s like, damp in here. ew.” she

complained, pulling at the sweater that she wore.

Veneer wasn’t really listening. he was eagerly looking

around, wondering if he would spot you out and

about, hoping to have a conversation before you

performed.

they made themselves to the pit of the arena,

ushering off to the side so people wouldn’t look at them.

“it’s off putting that no one has noticed us yet.

almost upsetting,” Velvet said.

“maybe it’s the fact we don’t have three tubs of gel in

our hair right now?” Veneer replied, not meaning to

sound like a hard-ass but coming off as it anyway.

Velvet scoffed. “shut it.”

that’s when the people started flooding in, and

Velvets face went shocked.

“holy shit,” she whispered , looking around

frantically.

“there’s no way this is for y/n. she has ten times more

people than we do! ugh!” she became upset and

veneer blew air in his cheeks.

“that’s..what i told you.” he whispered to himself and

looked to the stage.

when the hundreds of people finally stopped coming,

Veneer knew this was the time. he could barely wait.

he was basically shaking in his boots, eager to see

you. to see you dance and steal the shine of the

stars. he couldn’t help but see you as the moon.

then, the lights went off,and Veneer nearly shrieked.

he felt like a fanboy to his own assistant; and he

didn’t know how to feel about that.

the announcer came on again, and that’s when the

lights came back on and he could see you, there,

with a gorgeous outfit and stunning makeup that

made you seem intimidating. he could’ve cried at

how beautiful you were, his heart throbbed in his

chest as he just wanted to climb on stage and join

you; steal your own show but make you the main

attraction.

Veneer was getting caught up with his thoughts the

entire performance, and the look on his sister’s face

was priceless. he couldn’t really tell if it was jealousy,

admiration or a combination of both. but in this

moment, he didn’t care what she thought , all he

wanted to do was watch and admire you.

there was a split moment when you were near the

edge of the stage, singing effortlessly like you always

do, and made direct eye contact with veneer.

the whole world stopped for both of you. Veneer was

lost in your eyes, you were clueless of why he was

here, but that butterfly feeling started in the pit of

your chest. you kept singing , didn’t miss a single

word, and carried on.

Veneer felt his face flush as he continued to stare like

a fool.

after another ground breaking performance, the

applause roared across the entire plot and you gave a

bow, giving Veneer a final look and thanking

everyone in your mic. heading backstage , Veneer

held the urge to run back as well, but he looked to

Velvet.

she was already looking at him, and her expression

was…soft.

“go, Ven.” she said, motioning her head towards the

backstage entrance.

he smiled at her. “thank you vel.”

he ran to the backstage, being able to sneak past the

guards and past the red curtains.

he stopped to look around and saw you stepping off

the stage stairs. you looked at each other.

‘she’s so beautiful in the dark.’ he thought to

himself, walking towards you and your mouth parted.

“veneer,” you started, trying to get words out of your

mouth while shaking your head. “you..you knew?

how? you brought velvet ?? why…why?” so many

thoughts came blurting out and Veneer took your

hand.

“i always knew. i knew you pursued something,

you’re the type of girl to do that.” he looked at you

with kind eyes, and you swallowed with a dry mouth.

“i..” you stopped, taking a deep breath, looking away

and looking back. “thank you, for showing up. that meant more than you really know. i didn’t tell in fear of trying to out run you and Vel. i’m sorry,” you explained, a slight panic in your voice, but Veneer sealed your worries with a gentle kiss to your hand.

“let me support you y/n. i want this for both of us.”

his words had an effect on your heart and you smiled

warmly. you brought his and your hand to your heart.

“ yeah. just you and me. oh, well, Velvet too.” both of

you shared a laugh.

FLASH

a bright light came from the backstage entrance ,

and paparazzi and kid ritz stood there with shocked

expressions on their faces.

“oh.” you both said in unison.

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦

a/n: AHHH IDK IF THIS WAS TOO LONG OR NOT IM CHARACTER FOR VENEER HELP 😞 i apologize if this sucks lol but i had fun making it 💗 tysm for the support lately i love all of you + my dms are always open if any of u need a friend ! requests are open always unless said otherwise <3

#trolls veneer #trolls 3 #trolls band together #trolls #veneer x reader #velvet and veneer #oneshot #fanfic #trolls fandom #trolls fanfic #veneer fanart #anonymous #lexischocolatecoveredblueberries

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sunflowerhyun · 5 months

Text

how he sees me | hwang hyunjin | part one

◆ summary: “Do you love me?” she asked.

In his hesitation, she found her answer.

OR, alternatively, Hyunjin is a little bit of an asshole and Y/N just misses him.

◆ pairing: hwang hyunjin x fem!reader

◆ genre: ex-childhood-friends-to-lovers, punk!hyunjin au

◆ warnings: ! MDNI ! cursing, many references to past situations (in italics), some unwanted groping, y/n has a panic attack, alcohol consumption, mentions of drug use (weed), slight sexual content consisting of: making out, dry humping, brief mention of y/n on top. lots of angst.

◆ wc: 16k+

◆ a/n: hiii. part one is in the books !! this is my very first fan fiction on tumblr and i’m super excited to go on this journey w/ you all ! also, so sorry for the long wait (nursing school is currently kicking my ASS) but i hope this chapter is okay. thanks for reading ♡

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Y/N always loved the stars.

She loved the fact that once the sun went back into its hiding place and there was no more light to pave way, a million stars would make their appearance, decorating the night sky and bringing back some of that light that was previously lost. They would twinkle, dance—Y/N rarely ever saw them alone. And the main thing she loved about them was that the brightest star in the sky, would always be accompanied by another. The night sky was their gathering place—their safe haven—and it soon became hers too.

Y/N always loved the stars, because they reminded her of him.

On the nights where Y/N was stressing about their next test in Calculus and she just couldn’t for the life of her make it make sense, they would go see the stars. On the nights where Y/N would cry over some stupid boy that decided he didn’t want her anymore, they would go see the stars. On the nights where he had enough of his parents and felt hopeless, worthless, undeserving of anything and everything in the word, they would go see the stars.

Nothing was ever said when they went to see the stars. They would take his car, drive to an abandoned area, lay on the hood, and just breathe. He often told her he felt suffocated, contained; when they went to see the stars, he could finally break free from that. And Y/N would curl up beside him, his arm bringing her as close as they could get, and they would simply just be present with one another. The stars were their thing, their escape; him and her.

Nothing was ever said when they went to see the stars, until it was.

“I’m leaving.”

Y/N raised her head from his chest, sitting up so she could face him directly, to make sure she heard him correctly. He avoided eye contact, eyes staying focused on the sky in front of him. That night, the stars were hiding behind the clouds.

“What?” she whispered, heart beat thumping out of her chest, “what do you mean?”

He swallowed thickly, taking his bottom lip in-between his teeth. The same lips that she had kissed the night before. The same lips that had whispered sweet nothings and broken promises in her ear as she gave him her firsts. The same lips that will eventually betray her, break her, ruin her.

“I’m leaving,” he repeated, like he had practiced saying it a hundred times in the mirror before this. “I’m leaving, and I’m not coming back.”

He sounded so sure of this, voice stern and clear as day. The words hung in the air for one second, five seconds, fifteen—and then, “what do you mean?”

The question came out again, a whisper—the breeze carried it through the sky. He had heard her, but said nothing more, eyes staying forward, his arm still laying sprawled out beside him, the same arm she was laying on top of just moments earlier. Why isn’t he looking at her?

“What do you mean, Hyunjin?!” The question came out more harsh this time, and his nostrils flared slightly at the tone. “You can’t just tell me you’re leaving and never coming back and expect me to just sit here and let you without any sort of explanation! Does our friendship mean nothing to you? Do I mean nothing to you?”

He closed his eyes briefly, finally giving some sort of a reaction, running his hands through his hair and dragging them down to cover his face. Nothing was heard but the faint sound of crickets, the slight rustle of the trees as the wind blew… and Hyunjin was still not saying anything.

“You can’t even look at me,” Y/N whispered, and his body stiffened. Suddenly, she began to panic, reaching out to softly grip his thigh, leaning forward. “Let me come with you, then. You know I don’t want to live here either. We can get an apartment together, and I can re-apply to some colleges to wherever you’re going. I-I’m sure my parents would be a little upset about it, but I know they would under—"

“Stop, Y/N.”

“—stand, because they really like you, you know? I mean, you’ve been around since we were in elementary school, and my mom was so excited when we went to prom together, and—"

“Y/N!” He yelled, sitting up from the hood of the car and taking his hands off his face. Y/N flinched, moving her hand off his thigh like it had burned her…but Hyunjin was finally looking at her. “Just… stop.”

It was quiet. He was breathing heavy, staring at her like he was about to break her. The wind blew, and Hyunjin’s hair fell into his eyes. He was so beautiful. Here he was sitting on the hood of his car, telling her he’s leaving her, and yet he was beautiful. Y/N felt her heart drop into her stomach, wanting nothing more than to lean over and connect their lips, beg him to stay, beg him to just explain to her what was going on.

“You can’t come with me. I just need to get away from here. I’m going to suffocate if I stay in this town any longer. I made it through graduation, and now it’s time for me to leave. There’s nothing for me here and I’m drowning each second I stay.”

“But I’m here,” she whispered. “Is that not enough?”

The stars never came out that night.

Y/N thinks back to that night a lot, a lot more than she should. She thought back to his body language the day of and how… off he seemed. He barely made eye contact, would slightly flinch whenever she touched him—smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Y/N recognized the signs, and that’s why she wasn’t surprised when he had asked her to go see the stars that night. She just wasn’t expecting that.

Tears, screams, and whispers were the highlight of that night. Y/N—begging him to stay, Hyunjin—making promises he knew he wouldn’t keep. And Y/N clung to those promises because Hyunjin had never broken any. But when one week, three weeks, months passed, she came to the realization that Hyunjin was not who she thought he was.

The tears and screams came back then. And they haven’t really gone away since.

That’s why tonight, when Jeongin had invited her to come out to have a couple of drinks to celebrate him recently graduating university, she thought of the stars, and she thought of him.

She doesn’t think she’s ever stopped.

“Y/N!” She heard her name being called, glancing away from the sky to turn her head towards the sound of the voice. A mop of blonde hair was speed walking towards her, eyes twinkling and smile widening.

She smiled back, stumbling back a few steps once Felix had approached her and embraced her in one of his famous, suffocating bear hugs. Felix loved hugs and Y/N loved being the reciprocator of them; it’s always nice to feel cared for. “Ugh, I’m so ready to get drunk tonight. You won’t believe the amount of last-minute orders we got today.”

“Well, it is about that time for graduation season. Lots of people wanting some of your tasty cakes, ya know.”

Felix snorted at her comment, pulling away from the hug, running his fingers through his hair. He had started growing it out and Y/N thought it suit him well.

“Speaking of your tasty cakes, did you bring one for Jeongin?”

“Who do you take me for? Of course I did!” He replied, putting a hand on Y/N’s back to lightly guide her towards the front door of the bar, “Well, I didn’t bring it. That was Minho’s job. But I did make it. And I spent about four hours decorating the damn thing, so you better take some pictures before it gets ruined.”

“Shouldn’t that have been Minho’s job since he’s the one bringing it?” Y/N asked, mumbling a small thank you as Felix held the door open for her.

“Fuck, you’re right. Let’s hope they didn’t cut into it already or I might throw a fit.”

“Please, not tonight in front of everyone.” Y/N teased, glancing around her briefly to take in the scene in front of her. She had never been here before—not really being the type to go out and drink often—but the vibe was okay, as far as she could tell. It was crowded, but not too much as to where it would feel suffocating. The music was upbeat, not blaring loud to where she had to scream to have a basic conversation and she didn’t spot any couples aggressively making out in the middle of the bar. However, it was only 20:00, so that was probably going to change pretty soon.

“So on a scale of 0-10, 10 being the best, how is it? I know you’re probably about to piss yourself from just being in here.”

“I am not!” She shoved him to the side a little, letting out a scoff, “And normally it’s the other way around. But I’m giving this place a solid 6 right now. That could change though, depending on how much you annoy me tonight.”

Felix rolled his eyes, “Yeah, whatever. Jeongin made sure to choose this place extra carefully since you were coming. It’s really not that bad. You need to have a few drinks and relax for once. You’ve been working too much lately.”

Y/N sighed at his comment, feeling a headache coming on just from the mention of work. She’s been running on 3 hours of sleep per night the past few weeks and simply just wanted to go lay in her bed since she’s finally off tomorrow. A bubble bath and a glass of Moscato sounded really nice too.

“Let’s go find the others. Jeongin booked a private area in the back for us.”

Y/N hummed in response, leaning closer to Felix as he led them towards the back of the bar. She glanced at him, noting the lip tint on his lips, the overwhelming scent of Dior, and his famous lip ring he rarely wore. She squinted her eyes, “Are you trying to get laid tonight?”

“Maybe I am,” he cracked a grin.

“I can tell. You smell and look like you’ve just came out of a fashion show that neither of us can afford,” Y/N teasingly poked the side of his face, laughing as he quickly swat her hand away before returning its position back onto her lower back. “Anyone in particular or are you just looking for someone random?”

Felix groaned slightly, “I hate when you interrogate me like this.”

“I’m not! I’m just invested and being a good friend,” She spoke, heels loudly clanking against the floor, and Y/N kind of wished she didn’t chose to wear these tonight. “You should be able to enjoy yourself. I just like to know details.”

“You get off to the details or something?”

“Not those details, you pervert!” She exclaimed, elbowing him in his side once they came to a halt. He groaned lightly before attempting to elbow her back, as she let out a laugh before dodging it, gently gripping his arm and moving back towards him. “You know what I mean. I just like to make sure you’re alright and that they aren’t sketch or something.”

“I’d like to think that I have good judgement.”

“Hm, I don’t know. Remember that red-headed girl you hooked up with a few months ago? She literally tried to fight me, threaten me, and also showed up at your work crying because she thought you were cheating on her. And remember when she—"

“Okay, that was one time!” Felix quickly defended himself as Y/N gave him a I told you so look. “Alright fine, I’d like to think I have good judgement when I’m not drunk off vodka and red wine. Which was your fault, by the way.”

Y/N gasped, “It was most certainly not! Minho was the one that—"

“Are you guys ever going to stop flirting in front of us?” A voice piped up from beside them, and Y/N immediately recognized it to be Minho’s. “Normally we would encourage both of you to go get a quickie in at the bathroom, but it is Jeongin’s graduation celebration, so that would be rude since he isn’t getting any.”

“Hello to you too, Minho. My day was great, thank you for asking,” Felix rolled his eyes, gently moving Y/N’s hand off his arm to make his way over to a scowling Jeongin who was obviously annoyed at Minho’s comment, “Congrats on finally graduating!”

Jeongin’s death stare was quickly replaced with a smile as he embraced Felix in a hug, letting out a thank you. “Hey!” He suddenly shouted, the scowl immediately making its way back as he struggled to swat Felix’s hands away from his head, “Get off! You’re messing up my hair and it’s my night!”

“Yeah, Lix, you’re ruining his chances of getting laid tonight.”

Jeongin groaned at Minho’s comment. “I am sick of you. Remind me why I invited you, again?”

“Because you love me.” Minho smirked.

“Leave him alone, Minho,” Y/N rolled her eyes, shoving him to the side slightly before walking over to where Felix and Jeongin were. Jeongin stood up when seeing her, pushing Felix to the side as he embraced her in a hug.

“Congratulations! I know you’ve worked hard!” Y/N smiled, as he mumbled out a thank you. Y/N pulled away from the hug, digging into her purse to pull out the gift card her and Felix had bought. “Here ya go. $500 visa gift card to spend on whatever you want from Felix and I. He was supposed to also buy a card to put it in, but you know how he is.”

“$500?!” Minho obnoxiously shouted, “Where was this generosity for my graduation? I only got $50!”

“Shut up,” Jeongin rolled his eyes, smiling widely once looking at Y/N and Felix. “Thank you guys so much! You really didn’t have to.”

“Of course we did! Graduating university is a big deal. Now you can go work as an Engineer and buy a round of drinks for once!” Felix laughed, patting him on the head. Y/N snorted lightly at the way Jeongin’s cheeks became red, knowing how his drinks and food are always paid for whenever they go out together. Y/N was once a university student too, so she understood the struggle.

“Hello? Are you guys just going to ignore me?”

“Do you not remember me buying you almost $300 worth of drinks and food that night?” Felix asked, as Minho shook his head. He rolled his eyes, “I’m sorry you were so wasted you didn’t remember. But I did. Y/N is the one that gave you the visa card.”

“I was in university and broke!” Y/N defended herself when seeing Minho shooting her a look, “And to be fair, I had only known you for a few months then. I didn’t have to get you anything, you know.”

“I know, I know. I’m teasing,” Minho smirked, walking up to Y/N and lightly hitting his hip against hers. “Let me order you a drink. First round’s on me.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Y/N smiled, quickly walking over to hand Felix her purse (so she wouldn’t be tempted to start a tab), before heading towards the bar. “This place is kinda nice. Not too rowdy or anything.”

“Yeah, it’s one of the more tamer ones around here. I’ve been here a few times. The liquor is pretty good,” He replied. Y/N took a few moments to quickly look him over head-to-toe, noticing that he had just recently changed his hair color. It’s gotten a little longer, too. “You dyed your hair black. And you’ve started growing it out. Is long hair coming back into style, or are you seeing someone?”

Minho snorted, running his fingers through his hair as they approached the bar. He quickly caught the attention of the bartender, ordering them both a vodka sour before turning his body to face her, leaning against the bar side table. “Long hair has never gone out of style and I’m not currently seeing anyone. Why? Are you interested?”

“In your dreams, maybe.” Y/N smirked in response, and Minho snorted in reply. She always found him to be quite handsome, and his personality was unlike anyone’s she had ever met. Minho was blunt, always telling things as it was, and never sugar coated anything. He was successful, graduated university with a business degree, currently finishing up his MBA while working alongside his father at a very well known company throughout the country.

He was the perfect image of a perfect partner. Yet, he wasn’t him.

He has ruined everyone for her, and he doesn’t even know it.

At the thought of him, Y/N frowned, eyes zeroing in on the crumbled up napkin currently laying on the floor near Minho’s feet. Minho was now conversing with the bartender as he sat the drinks in front of him, and everything suddenly started to sound muffled. Memories began to flood into her mind; memories of plush lips grazing her skin, late night swims in her grandma’s pool, the way he held her whenever it stormed because he knew she was afraid of being alone, sneaking into each other’s bedrooms at midnight to eat junk food and binge watch their favorite drama...

It wasn’t until she felt someone lightly shaking her arm that she had snapped out of her state, eyes shooting up to glance at a slightly worried Minho, the drinks balancing on his free hand. She blinked once, twice—before her cheeks started to tint a shade of pink in embarrassment.

“You okay?” Minho had asked her. Y/N could almost cry from the worried look in his eyes. How embarrassing it was to blank out like that.

“I’m fine, sorry. I’m just a little tired still from working 5 nights in a row, is all,” She replied, mustering a smile that she knew probably seemed fake, and gently grabbed one of the drinks from his hand. She took a long sip, “Let’s go back and dig into some cake and take some shots.” She definitely is going to need some heavy alcohol to make it through the rest of the night.

Minho wasn’t fully convinced, but mumbled out an “alright” before leading them both back over to where the others were waiting. A few more of Jeongin’s friends had shown up, Y/N noticed, watching as they had already ordered two rounds of tequila shots. She hurriedly walked over to the empty chair beside Felix and took a seat, chugging down the rest of her vodka sour and slamming it on the table in front of her. At the sound, Felix glanced over to her mid-conversation with some guy she has never met before, words dying down in his throat when seeing the look on her face.

He gently grabbed her hand and pulled it under the table, “What’s wrong?”

Y/N smiled in response, giving his hand a tight squeeze. “Nothing! I’m just ready to take some shots and eat your tasty cake you spent hours working on.”

Felix saw right through her. Y/N knew he could tell she was lying. He knew her too well. “Y/N, if something is bothering you, we can lea—"

Loud laughter suddenly was heard as one of Jeongin’s friends had suddenly pushed his head into his graduation cake. Minho busted out into a fit of manic laughter, snapping pictures to probably post on his snapchat story in attempt to embarrass him any way he can. Jeongin immediately began to complain, and Felix groaned out a, “Minho, please tell me you took a picture of the cake first!”

“Calm down, blondie. The picture was taken so you can post it on your IG.” He rolled his eyes in response, bickering with Jeongin a little bit more before ruffling the head on his hair and plopping down on the empty seat next to Y/N. “These pictures are golden. I should go into photography.”

“Like you need the extra money.” Felix retorted, “Send me the picture before you forget later. It better not be blurry.”

Y/N giggled at their banter, reaching over to grab the un-touched tequila shot in front of her and downing it. She immediately relaxed, eyes closing as she leaned back into the seat a bit.

“Damn, you didn’t even use a lime or salt,” Minho stated in disbelief, “And you didn’t wait on me. So now you’ve got to do another one.”

“You were being too slow.” She replied with a grin, “And if you knew the work week I’ve had, you would understand. So order us some more shots, please!”

Minho chuckled, grabbing the touch screen pad they had at their table to input another round of shots for everyone. Y/N could tell Felix was looking at her again, but she chose to ignore him for now. She’s here to drink, eat cake, and celebrate Jeongin. The crying can come later.

“Done!” He shouted, clapping and rubbing his hands together in anticipation. “I fucking love tequila. I’d marry it if I could.”

“You’d marry a lot of things,” Felix replied, deciding to drop the conversation once realizing Y/N didn’t want to talk right now. He’d get it out of her later, anyway.

“Especially Selena Gomez.” Minho sighed dreamily. Felix rolled his eyes. “I’d give up my liver for her. And my virginity.”

“You’re not even a virgin.”

“Shh, she doesn’t know that.”

“Selena hasn’t even been on tour in like years. Is she still relevant?” One of Jeongin’s friends popped into the conversation. Minho froze, head turning slowly to glare at the guy, and Y/N tried to hold in her laugh at the way his face paled slightly when seeing Minho’s facial expression.

“Did you just insult my wife?”

The guy, who Y/N did not know the name of, visibly gulped, immediately letting out a cluster of, “Of course not! Selena is amazing! She’s so headstrong! I didn’t mean to come off that way. It’s just been so long since she’s like—"

“Peter, chill. He’s just messing with you.” Jeongin interrupted him when seeing that his friend was about to shit himself from Minho’s stare. Peter let out a nervous laugh, deciding to turn his head away from their direction and start conversation on the other side of the table.

Felix snorted when seeing Minho’s satisfied smirk on his face. He leaned back into his chair, twirling the glass of vodka sour in his hand before taking a sip. “I love the affect I have on people.”

“You’re a narcissist.” Y/N laughed. Poor Peter. She would have to make sure to speak with him before she leaves later.

“Speaking of tours and concerts though, are you guys interested in coming to this music festival? One of my buddies from back home is in this band and I promised I would go watch them perform. They’re pretty fucking sick.”

“Who is it?” Felix asked.

“They’re called Stray Kids. Pretty fucking dope. Chan is my friend, and then there’s 3 other dudes. I haven’t met them yet though,” He replied, eagerly grabbing the tequila shots from the waitress with a thank you and passing them down.

Y/N grabbed one of the shots, reaching for a lime and some salt. “That could be fun. What kind of music do they make?”

Minho and Felix did the same, and they each said a brief cheers before downing their shots. Y/N sighed, immediately starting to feel a little lighter and less upset. She hadn’t had tequila in a hot minute.

“Damn that was good,” Minho wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, “They do some heavy metal shit. It’s awesome. They performed at Coachella last year and then kind of got viral on the internet. They’re going on their first world tour next year. Surprised you haven’t heard of them.”

“Oh wow,” Y/N mumbled. “That’s so nice. That’s crazy that one of your best friend’s is basically a celebrity.”

“Right,” Minho laughed, shaking his head back and forth like he was in disbelief. “I still remember us as kids writing songs together and forcing our parents to listen to it. Crazy.”

Y/N smiled at Minho’s comment as a another memory flooded her brain.

“Let’s do this again!” Hyunjin had shouted, running over to the CD player sitting on top of the desk in the playroom.

“Jinnie, I’m tired!” Y/N whined, sprawled out on the carpet in agony, sweating like she had just ran a marathon. “We’ve been practicing this for over an hour! When can we go play barbies? You promised you would play with me.”

Hyunjin groaned at the mention of barbies. He despised them. “Stop being dramatic. Do you want to have a sleepover or not?”

Y/N pouted, “Of course I do.”

“Then stand up so we can do this again. You know this is the only way to convince your mom to let you stay, and she’s going to be here to pick you up in like 30 minutes.”

Y/N sighed, glancing over at the princess barbie house she had gotten for her 8th birthday recently in longing. She was so excited to show Hyunjin her new horse carriage and princess doll. And she was even more excited when the prince doll came with it. He looked just like Hyunjin, and it made her feel fuzzy inside.

Hyunjin groaned again when seeing that Y/N was making no effort to get off the floor. He glanced at the barbie house, then back at her, rolling his eyes before letting out a, “Fine. Let’s do this one more time so we are prepared when your mom gets here, and then when she says yes, we can play barbies until dinner.”

Y/N sat up, crossing her legs on the floor. “Really?” She eagerly asked.

“Yes. I will be the prince and rescue you from the witch,” Hyunjin confirmed with a nod of his head, knowing she always made him save her in some way whenever she forced him to play.

"Will you also promise to not make a face whenever they kiss?"

Hyunjin immediately made his classic 'ew' face at the mention of kissing. "Ugh, why do you always want them to kiss? Why can't they just hug like normal people?"

"Because they just have to! Every prince always kisses his princess!"

Hyunjin groaned again, glaring at the barbie castle, horse carriage, and dolls laying in the corner of his playroom. She always brought the entire set whenever she came over to his house on weekends so that they could play together. Hyunjin dreaded it.

"It's still gross. But fine. As long as you stand up and finish this dance with me."

Y/N grinned, immediately jumping up to run over to him, tackling him into a hug as he let out an oof sound. “Thanks Jinnie! You’re the bestest friend ever!”

Hyunjin blushed slightly, yet quickly shoved her off of him, "Ew, get off of me. You are sweaty and gross."

Y/N giggled, leaning in again to give him a wet kiss on his cheek, and he screeched loudly before dramatically wiping the side of his cheek with the back of his hand, letting out a, "Gross! Why do you always do that?!"

“Y/N?” a voice interrupted her thoughts. She blinked, seeing that Minho and Felix were both starring at her again expectantly. “Yes? Sorry.” She replied.

“They started cutting the cake. There’s a slice in front of you.”

“Oh,” Y/N spoke, letting out a few giggles in embarrassment, “Right. Yum.”

Minho and Felix shared a look, and Y/N noticed this, quickly grabbing the fork and shoving a piece of cake in her mouth. “Your cakes never disappoint, Lix.” She spoke through a mouthful of cake, “Does this have expresso in it?”

“Yeah, it does. Jeongin’s request. Dark chocolate with expresso,” Felix replied, and Y/N nodded her head with a pleased hum.

“So when is this festival? I’m going to have to take off work most likely if it’s a weekday.”

Minho took a bite of his cake, wiping his mouth after. “It’s actually next weekend. Sorry for the late notice. I waited until the last minute to get the tickets. But it’s covered, so you guys won’t owe me anything.”

“I’m actually off next weekend since I worked this past one, so that works for me. Also, I don’t mind paying you back. I think it would be fun.”

“Yeah, I think so too. I’m down to go,” Felix agreed with a nod of his head.

“Cool. I’m going to text Chan and let him know we’re coming. He said he could get us backstage after they perform. They’re performing towards the end of the festival.” Minho replied, pulling his phone out of his pocket. He typed for a couple seconds, and then put it back in his front pocket of his pants. “They’re performing Friday and Saturday night. It’s a two-day thing. The tickets I got cover both days.”

“What’s the festival called?”

“Rock Your Socks Out. It’s just a bunch of alternative artists. Pretty sick.”

“Nice,” Felix replied, sliding his plate over and grabbing his napkin to dab at his mouth. “And we get to go backstage, too? And meet your celebrity friend? Even better.”

Minho chuckled, “I already know you’re plotting a way to get them to promote your bakery.”

“Yup, totally am.”

Y/N scrapped up the last of the crumbs on her plate into her mouth before leaning back into the seat, “Lix, your bakery is already pretty successful. You’ve literally made the top 10 for two years in a row.”

“Don’t flatter him again. We will never hear the end of it.” Minho groaned.

“That’s a huge deal for small businesses. He can brag about it all he wants! He deserves it.” Y/N replied, giving Felix a wide smile that immediately had him smiling back in triumph.

“Yeah, Minho. What she said.”

Minho rolled his eyes, standing up and pushing his chair under the table, “Yeah, whatever. I’m gonna go dance and order some more drinks so I’m not tempted to call my secretary about those files that are probably still not done.”

“I’m coming with!” Y/N followed suit, stopping briefly when feeling a hand gently grab her wrist. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Felix asked again.

“I’m fine. Seriously. I just want to go dance and have a few more drinks. You should do the same and go get what you came for in the first place.” Y/N poked his cheek, and Felix rolled his eyes when catching onto the fact that she was referencing to him getting laid tonight.

Y/N knew he was wanting to press the conversation further, leaning down to quickly kiss his cheek in an effort to end the conversation before jogging after Minho who was already at the bar ordering more drinks. Felix shouldn’t worry about her, Minho shouldn’t worry about her. She was going to have a great time with her friends tonight and get shit-faced. Simple as that.

She was fine.

——>

Y/N was not fine.

Three tequila shots later, Y/N found herself dancing with some random guy she didn’t care to know. His hands roamed her frame, paying extra attention to her hips and the thick curve of her ass. She didn’t mind that, (being five tequila shots in), but what she did mind was the feeling of his lips on her neck. It gave her goosebumps, and not in a good way.

“Stop, please,” She slurred out, grabbing his hands and pulling them away from her ass in case he didn’t hear her from the music that had gotten ten times louder over the past two hours.

The feeling on her neck wouldn’t stop, and she let out a huff of annoyance before attempting to turn her body around to face this guy, but stopped mid-turn at the feeling of his hands sharply turning her hips to where she was back in the same position as before. She frowned, attempting to grab his hands again to throw them off, but failed to do so.

The guy’s hands traveled up her waist and towards her breasts, pulling her even closer, “S-stop,” She let out again, trying to wiggle her way out of his grasp, and he let out a moan when she accidentally pushed back onto his dick.

“Hey!” A voice yelled over the music, making Y/N glance up to see that Minho was approaching them. “Get the fuck off, dude. She’s obviously uncomfortable.”

The guy scoffed, and before he could say anything Minho had grabbed her hands and easily pulled her off of him. Y/N grinned, immediately wrapping her arms around his waist. “Minnie! I’m so happy to see you! Did you see me dancing? Did I improve any?”

Minho hugged her back, glaring at the back of the guy’s head that must have decided he couldn’t care less about the situation and started walking away. “Yep, I did. And yep, you did. Did you take more shots?” He replied, pulling her body off of his to look into her eyes, immediately seeing that she was—in fact—shit-faced.

“Yes! I dunno how many though. Maybe like two? I stopped counting,” She giggled, swaying back and forth slightly in attempt to keep her balance. Minho sighed, checking his watch on his wrist to see that it was nearing midnight. “Let’s go get you some water and sit down for a bit.” He spoke, gently grabbing her forearm and leading her towards the bar.

“I don’t need any water, silly willy. I’m fine.” Y/N slurred out, stumbling a bit when she had accidentally knocked into a couple dancing. Minho let out a groan when catching her before she could fall, and Y/N giggled.

“I’m fine, my ass. I about broke my fucking back trying to protect your head from the floor.” Minho stated with a slightly annoyed huff, but nevertheless ended up getting them safely to the bar and immediately pushed Y/N into one of the chairs. He ordered a large glass of ice water, pulling out his phone to send a text to Felix to see where he was at and if he should take her home or not.

Y/N leaned back into the chair, half-lidded eyes roaming the dance floor, doing a double take when seeing a couple making out near the wall towards the back.

“Wait, you’re serious?”

Y/N sighed quietly, flipping the page of the biology textbook and highlighting the sentence about ribosomes, attempting to ignore the question. She could feel his stare on her, and it was starting to make her sweat a little. She sighed again when realizing he wasn’t going to look away. “Yes, Hyunjin. 100% serious.”

Hyunjin scrunched his eyebrows, face displaying a total look of disbelief as he looked at her like she had grown two heads.

“Why do you look so shocked? You know guys avoid me like the plague.”

“I don’t.”

“You don’t count.”

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, “Whatever. Back to the important thing here, I can’t believe you’re about to be 18 and haven’t made out with anyone before. What happened to Noah?”

“Nothing. He ditched me for Kassi at prom. Apparently he just wanted to go with me to make her jealous. And it worked, because I got called a slut and laughed at by all her friends while she made out with him near the punch bowl.”

Hyunjin winced, “Wait, what? Why didn’t you come get me? Or tell me? We could’ve went and gotten McDonalds instead.”

“I wasn’t going to ruin your night. It’s fine. Seriously, it’s not a big deal.” She replied, picking her highlighter back up to continue skimming the paragraph in the textbook. His eyes were still on her and Y/N shifted slightly. She hated when he stared at her like that because it made her nervous, and it was getting more difficult to not show it the older they got.

Hyunjin was probably thinking that she was lame for not having her first make-out session with anyone and was probably thinking how to make her feel less embarrassed about the situation. But really, he should’ve known. Y/N was never the kind to just get up and kiss anybody and Hyunjin knew that. She doesn’t know why he seemed so shocked at that fact, or why he wasn’t laughing yet.

Wait, why wasn’t he laughing?

“Do you want to quiz each other?” Y/N asked in attempt to ease her nerves and change the topic of the conversation. He was probably starting to feel sorry for her and she was starting to get a little embarrassed. It didn’t help that he wouldn’t stop starring at her, either. “I can go first. Just flip to the practice questions at the back of the chapter and read them off—“

“We can make-out, if you want.”

Y/N stopped mid-sentence at his comment, mouth closing then opening, then closing again. Her ears must be deceiving her because there was no way he just suggested a make-out session with her.

“What?” She asked, hoping she had heard him wrong, but by the look on his face, she was starting to think that she didn’t.

“I said we can make-out if you want to,” Hyunjin replied, unfazed. He was so unbothered by the suggestion that Y/N was still having trouble comprehending that he had even offered this in the first place.

He must have saw the look on her face, rolling his eyes slightly before letting out a, “You’re acting like we haven’t kissed before. It’s just making out.”

“A couple experimental pecks when we were younger doesn’t count as kissing!” Y/N exclaimed with a squeak, cringing at the sound of her voice. She knew she was getting so red right now and wanted to hide under her blankets. “And—and, you’re acting like this is just so casual! Like we make-out all the time! Is this some kind of joke? Are you just saying this to make fun of me? Because it isn’t funny, and… and… you can’t just sit there and nonchalantly offer to make-out with me! Like, won’t that be—“

“Do you want to suck faces with me or not?” Hyunjin interrupted her small rant, and Y/N choked. “Look, it’s really not a big deal. I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable, and it won’t make things awkward. I’ve literally taken a shit in the same bathroom while you’ve showered before. I’m not making fun of you. I’m just saying I’m down to be your first. Maybe I can give you some pointers so you’re more confident when the situation comes up again with another guy. That’s all.”

Y/N pursed her lips, glancing down at her hands, then back towards his face. He looked so sincere, and his hair was slightly grazing his eyes. Y/N wanted to reach out and push it back. “Okay.” She quietly stated, and Hyunjin’s eyes widened slightly, not expecting her to agree.

“Okay,” He had replied even quieter, gently grabbing the textbook from her lap and placing it on the floor and out of the way. Once there was no more barriers between them, he had scooted closer to her, the bed creaking slightly as he did so. Y/N could feel her heart beating out of her chest, wondering if Hyunjin’s was doing the same.

“I’m going to kiss you now. I’ll start slow,” He softly spoke, words sounding like honey, dripping down and down until his voice was the only thing she could hear. She nodded slightly, and he glanced at her lips. She licked them impulsively, and his eyes shot back up to her own. She took in a breath when feeling his hand lightly graze the side of her face, his gaze so intense that it had her tremble slightly from the anticipation.

And then his lips were on hers.

Soft. That was the first thing that came to her mind. His lips were so soft and so plush against hers that she was starting to struggle to breathe. And to move her own.

He pulled away, “You’re not kissing me back.”

Y/N was sure her face resembled a fucking tomato at this point, wanting to slap herself for getting too caught up in the feeling of his lips that she forgot to move. “Right, uh, s-sorry.”

“S’fine,” He smirked in response, a teasing glint in his eyes, and Y/N wanted to slap herself again. “I’m gonna do it again. Just follow my lead, okay? And if you wanna stop, tell me.”

Y/N nodded nervously, and Hyunjin’s lips twitched slightly. He grabbed her hands, placing them on his shoulders so she wouldn’t feel so awkward, and Y/N gulped from the feeling. Sure, he was still scrawny, but he had started working out, and Y/N definitely noticed.

He smiled at her, and before Y/N could blurt out that she couldn’t do it, his lips were on hers again.

This time, it felt different.

They were still soft, but they were also wet. She moved her lips slowly against his, following his lead like he said, and she could taste him. He tasted like the strawberries he had earlier and like heaven. Y/N didn’t want to stop.

She didn’t want him to stop, letting out a whine once he disconnected their lips.

Her face immediately got red and she wanted to slap herself for the fourth time. Hyunjin’s eyes widened slightly at the noise, pupils blown, and Y/N clinched, hoping he wouldn’t notice.

He did. And he leaned in again.

This time, it was all tongue and teeth. It was messy and it was rough. Y/N let out a moan when his hand softly gripped her thigh, and he moved it up to her waist, giving it a squeeze. It was fast and it was hot, and Y/N wasn’t even struggling to keep up because she was so worked up.

This was her and it was Hyunjin. Her sweet Hyunjin, who offered to help her learn to kiss so she wouldn’t embarrass herself with someone else later on. Her considerate Hyunjin, who made sure she wasn’t uncomfortable. Her sensual Hyunjin, who slid his tongue into her mouth, hands traveling back to her thighs before dipping in between them, grazing her clothed core briefly.

Y/N let out a soft moan at the feeling of his hand briefly touching her through her leggings, hands impulsively coming up to grip at his hair, tugging him even closer to her. He let out a groan, breaking the kiss briefly to re-adjust his body, leaning her back onto the bed so he could tower over her more comfortably.

She spread her legs as she felt his body weight on top of her and he bit his lip as he noticed that. Y/N felt embarrassed at their new position and at the fact that she was probably acting like a virgin who had never been touched before, but that’s exactly what she was, so she didn’t care. Instead, she grabbed his face, bringing him down to connect their lips again for the fourth time.

Kissing him and being with him like this ignited something within her. The feeling of his lips on hers, his body pressing into hers, his hands on her. It was her, and it was Hyunjin.

Her hips lifted up slightly, grazing his dick in his sweatpants, and Y/N whined when he groaned loudly at the feeling. She did it again intentionally, wanting to hear him make that sound again and to feel him on her again. He roughly bit her lip in response, almost as if he was sending a warning, before disconnecting their lips, a string of spit following him as he leaned his head back.

“Maybe another time for that, yeah?” He spoke, voice seeming ten times deeper with a little rasp to it, and Y/N’s legs squeezed around his lower half at the sound.

“A-another time? Aren’t you supposed to be teaching me how to k-kiss?” Her words came out in breaths, the legs wrapped around his body not loosening their grip.

The corner of his mouth twitched in amusement, “Yeah. And I did.”

One of his hands trailed up her right leg slowly, inching its way in between her thigh. He smirked teasingly, “I think you just lied to me, by the way. I think you’ve kissed a bunch of guys and just didn’t tell me.”

Y/N opened her mouth to let out a snarky response, but no words came out. It seemed she had finally came to her senses about their current position, immediately loosening her legs from his body, wondering what the hell had just happened and how she even got to be like this. She was embarrassed and extremely turned on, and the way Hyunjin was looking at her was enough to make her want to cover her face in hopes that she would disappear. So she did.

She could hear Hyunjin laughing, and she groaned in embarrassment. “Stop laughing at me! You’re so annoying!”

He rolled off of her, plopping down beside her on his bed before reaching up to gently pry her hands off of her face. Her face was red, eyes refusing to make eye contact. He rolled his eyes, “Stop being so shy. I’m not laughing at you, it’s just this whole situation was funny. And I’m laughing because you are a total fucking liar. What happened to pinky promises?”

“Funny? Nothing about this situation was funny! I’m not a liar, you idiot. I was following your lead like you asked me to. And now you’re sitting here laughing thinking this was funny and I’m frustrated now because you’re not even—“ Her eyes widened at where she was going with this, mouth immediately closing, wanting to go to the bathroom and vomit when realizing what she was about to say to him. He seemed to catch on to it, too, eyes intently starring at her, trailing their way down her body and back up to her face.

He smirked again, eye brows raising in amusement, his eyes holding a certain glint to them, “Well we can’t have you frustrated, can we?”

Y/N groaned again, giving him a shove before sitting up to grab the textbook off the floor, plopping it back onto the bed. “Shut up! Stop being so annoying and quiz me before I leave and never come back.”

“You would never. You love me too much.”

“Y/N?” A voice was heard, sounding slightly frantic. Y/N could feel her eyes watering, lip quivering, the music around her sounding muffled and estranged. “I know I’ve been asking this a lot, but are you… okay?”

Her vision started to get even more blurry. Her throat started to tighten up. The muffled sounds seemed to grow more faint.

And then she was crying.

Minho’s eyes widened, immediately moving to stand in front of her, hands gently grabbing her shoulders, “Shit, you’re definitely not okay. What’s wrong? Was it that prick from earlier? Did he do something? Do I need to beat somebody’s ass?”

“I miss him,” She cried, tears falling down and down and down, her make-up running down her face, eyes so empty. She hasn’t cried like this in months, and the tears just would not stop. They were flowing out like a river, and she would keep adding to that river if that meant he could finally come back to her.

“Who? Felix?” Minho asked, stressed as fuck. He has never seen her cry like this in the two years he has known her and simply did not know what he should do. He had texted Felix earlier and didn’t get a response, so now he was kind of freaking out, not the one to be big on comforting people.

“H-Hyunjin.” She choked out, words sounding foreign on her lips as she has not spoken his name out loud since her freshman year of college almost four years ago. Her heart tightened in her chest, letting out another loud sob, “Hyunjin. I-I miss him. I miss him so much.”

Minho didn’t even bother to ask who Hyunjin was, knowing it would just make things worse. Instead, he pulled out his phone, sending Felix another frantic text to GET HIS ASS OVER HERE ASAP.

“I miss him. I miss him s-so much.” The sobs were not stopping, and Y/N kept repeating the same words over and over again like she was in some trance. Minho couldn’t take it anymore, pulling her into his body, arms wrapping around her gently and protectively.

“Shh, it’s okay,” He whispered in her ear, one of his hands coming up to rub at her head soothingly, “It’s okay, Y/N. You’re okay.”

Y/N’s arms wrapped around his waist, holding him tighter. Her sobs were now being muffled in his dress shirt, tears flowing out and most likely ruining his shirt with her makeup, but he let her hold him, and he held her.

“Fuck, I didn’t see your texts until like two minutes ago,” A voice yelled over the music, and Minho looked to his side to see that Felix had finally shown up, panting slightly from sprinting over here, “What happened?”

“She’s calling out for Hyunjin,” Minho replied, voice getting intentionally quieter when saying his name, “I didn’t know what to do. She seems pretty fucking upset, and she’s wasted, too. I think she needs to go home.”

“Fuck,” Felix sighed, walking closer to Y/N, hand touching her shoulder, “Y/N, hey. It’s me.”

She lifted her head up, “Lix?”

“Yeah, it’s me. Can you grab onto me? I’m going to take you home so you can lay down and relax, okay? It’s been a long week for you.”

Y/N nodded with a hiccup, leaning out of Minho’s grasp and into Felix. He quickly put her arm around his shoulder, his arm circling around her waist, standing her up from the chair carefully. He looked at Minho, “Thank you for taking care of her. I’ll text when we’re back home.”

“Yeah, no problem. I’ll tell the others she got sick or something and had to go home.”

Felix nodded appreciatively, double checking to make sure he had her purse with him before walking slowly to the exit of the bar. Many stumbles and almost falls later, he had managed to get them both to his car in one piece, opening the passenger side door and carefully easing her into the seat, buckling her up before jogging to get into the drivers seat. Once he got in, he reached behind him to grab the plastic bag he kept in here in case Minho ever rode back with him from a night out, opening it and placing it into her lap.

“Here. If you feel like you might get sick, throw up in this bag.” He stated, not wanting another repeat of someone throwing up on his leather seats. His car had smelled like the seafood Minho devoured for a whole week, and he did not want to go through that torture again.

Y/N nodded, hiccuping again, tears still flowing down her cheeks, but not near as bad as earlier. She had calmed down some just from being in Felix’s presence, but her heart still ached and her head felt heavy. She was broken, and doesn’t think she would ever be fixed.

The ride back home was quiet. It had started to drizzle, and Y/N was watching the rain drops slowly falling on the window, the lights from the streets reflecting a glow on them. She watched them fall, drip down and down until the next one took its place, wondering if it was raining wherever he was. Was he watching the rain, too? Did he feel just as empty as she did?

Did he think of her when the stars were out?

The rain had started coming down harder now, just as they had pulled into the apartment complex. Felix turned the car off once he parked, a slightly awkward tension in the air, and Y/N sniffled, eyes still drawn to the rain.

“I miss him.” She whispered, voice slightly hoarse.

“I know,” Felix whispered back, glancing down to her hands, noticing they were slightly shaking. He gently placed a hand on top of hers and she let out a shaky breath.

Felix knew it all. He couldn’t understood the pain she felt, but he understood why she was in so much pain. Very rarely did she get like this in front of him. She has only had an episode like this three times about him the years Felix has known her, the first time being the worst.

They had met in Psychology their first year at university. Felix had complained about how their professor sounded like an absolute tool, and Y/N had agreed. It went from talking shit about their professor, to bonding over Mexican food, to watching movies in each other’s dorm. It was a quick-forming friendship—it was something they both needed without realizing.

Then, the party came along.

Felix’s frat had thrown a party like they did pretty much every weekend, and he had finally convinced Y/N to come. She showed up, he introduced her to his frat brothers, they danced, they drank, and next thing they know, they are stumbling into an empty bedroom, falling down on the bed and taking each other’s clothes off.

It all happened so fast. Felix was throwing his shirt over his head, Y/N was straddling him, and then she was riding him. It felt good, and it was what she thought she needed. But before they could both finish, Y/N was crying. And Felix was no longer interested in chasing his release.

He pulled her off of him and she had started sobbing harder. He remembers seeing how broken she looked, how defeated she looked. It was just too soon for her, and he wasn’t Hyunjin. He just wasn’t her Hyunjin.

Felix had held her and she had told him everything. Hyunjin and her growing up together, going through every phase of their lives together, him taking her virginity the night of their high school graduation, and then leaving her without a trace not even a day after.

He could not understand her pain, but he understood why she carried it with her. That’s why tonight, he said nothing more.

“I always thought it would get easier over the years. I thought I would get over it, get over him, but I can’t,” She whispered, once he had helped clean her up in the shower and got her ready for bed. She had sobered up a bit from all the crying and the water Felix had made her drink, eyes focusing on the window in her bedroom. It was still raining. “Everything reminds me of him. I just miss him so much. I want to hate him, but I can’t. I really can’t.”

And Felix let her talk and cry until she finally passed out, pulling her closer to him with her back against his front. It was beginning to thunder now, and the lightening lit up the room.

Y/N was not fine. She doesn’t think she’d ever be.

——>

The next morning came quickly.

Y/N had woken up to a screeching meow by her ear and something soft tickling her cheek. She opened her eyes groggily, barely being able to see what was currently rubbing against her face due to her eyes being so swollen and dry from all the crying she did. She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hands, vision getting clearer, finally spotting the culprit.

It was a cat. But not just any cat, it was Soonie. And his owner was standing at the door, smiling creepily down at Y/N, letting out a, “Finally you’re awake! I brought your favorite kitty over to give you some cuddles!”

Y/N blinked. She looked at Soonie who was now purring and rubbing against her hand in attempts of letting her know he wanted her to pet him, and then she looked at Minho, still creepily smiling by the door.

“What… What the fuck?” She croaked out, cringing when her voice came out raspy, sounding like she had smoked ten packs a day.

“I told you not to wake her up yet,” Felix grumbled, walking into her bedroom and shoving past Minho. He set a glass of water down on the bedside table and an Ibuprofen, sitting down on the bed beside her. “Morning, sleepyhead. Minho brought us some bagels. And, strangely enough, his cat.”

“She loves him. And he missed her.” Minho retorted, walking over to pat Soonie on the head. Y/N couldn’t argue with that statement, smiling softly at the fact that Minho was being so nice this morning. However, the smile quickly turned into a frown when she realized the reasoning, a heavy feeling of embarrassment and dread overcoming her.

“I’m… I’m sorry you had to see me like that last night,” She quietly spoke, hand scratching underneath Soonie’s chin as she avoided eye contact. “I don’t know what got into me. I think it’s because I’ve just been working so much lately and I haven’t been getting any sleep, really. I’m just… it was really embarrassing. And I’m sorry if I made you feel awkward or uncomfortable. Both of you.”

Felix and Minho shared a look and Feix grabbed the glass of water and Ibuprofen, handing it out to her. “Here, go ahead and take this.”

Y/N took the pill first, placing it in her mouth before slowly bringing the water to her lips. She took a few gulps, wincing slightly when handing the glass back to him. Her head was fucking pounding.

“Don’t apologize, Y/N. You didn’t make either of us uncomfortable. We’re your friends and we’re always going to take care of you.” Felix softly spoke, and Y/N smiled gently. Neither of them didn’t ask any questions or press the situation further, and she really appreciated that.

“Want me to bring you a bagel?” Minho asked as Soonie curled up into her side.

Y/N nodded, “Yeah, please. I honestly don’t think I can move to come downstairs right now.”

“Everything bagel with low-fat cream cheese coming right up!”

——>

Y/N was tired.

She woke up to her alarm going off at 1600, groaning in annoyance at the god-forsaken radar sound on her iPhone that never failed to put her in a terrible mood. She had worked the night before and got home from the hospital around 0815, showering and eating some of the pancakes Felix had made her before he had went to work that morning. He had left them in the fridge with a note giving precise instructions on how to heat them up so they could maintain that slight crisp on the edges, and she followed them to a tee, slicing up a banana to throw on top of them as well. They were delicious and put her in a much better mood, as the shift she had quite literally made her second guess her life decisions.

After eating her breakfast, she slowly walked up the stairs and into her bedroom, feeling so exhausted that she didn’t even feel like showering. But she made herself, not knowing what kinds of fluids and germs she had lingering on her scrubs, stripping them off and throwing them into the washing machine as she waited for the hot water to start steaming up the bathroom. The smell of eucalyptus flooded her senses once she stepped into the shower, immediately helping her relax. Minho had bought her some to hang over her shower head because he saw everyone using it on Tiktok and thought that she could benefit from it somehow. It smelled nice and it made her bathroom look a little more minimalistic in some way, so she kept it. And she hasn’t taken it down since.

She finally fell asleep around 1000, sound machine on and blackout curtains closed. It was honestly one of the best sleeps she has gotten in awhile, which was why she was more pissed than usual when her alarm went off, pressing the snooze button before falling back asleep. However, that only lasted a few minutes before her phone started ringing, and she groaned again before picking it up.

“Hello?” She croaked out.

“Good, you’re awake,” Felix’s voice flooded through the phone, “You told me to call you at precisely four-thirty, so here I am. Sleep well?”

“Slept great, actually. I want to suffocate myself in these pillows.”

“Please don’t do that,” He laughed, and Y/N could hear a car door closing on the other side of the phone. “I’m leaving work and heading to our place. Minho said he’s picking us up around seven to take us to that club.”

And fuck, Y/N had almost forgotten about that. Minho had asked them last weekend if they would be interested in going with him to this nightclub to hang out and meet his—as Felix calls them—celebrity friend and his band mates before the festival. Apparently they have been back in LA for a few days now and decided to rent out the entire club the night before the festival. Minho was so hyped about it and seemed like he really wanted Y/N and Felix to meet his friend, so they both agreed. And now Y/N was dreading it a little.

“Y/N? You didn’t fall back asleep, did you?”

“No, I’m here,” She replied, sighing into the complete darkness in her bedroom. She really wanted to go back to sleep but she knew if she slept any longer she wouldn’t be able to go to sleep later tonight, and then her sleep schedule would be more fucked up than it already is. Perks of working on night shift.

“You know we don’t have to go tonight, right?” He asked, the clicking of his turning signal going off in the background. “If you want to stay home, I’m sure Minho would understand. Don’t feel obligated.”

“No, it’s fine. I think it would be fun to meet some new people. Just don’t let me drink a lot this time.” She let out a laugh.

“You sure?”

Y/N rolled her eyes, “Yes, Lix. I’m sure. It’ll be fun.”

“Whatever you say,” He replied and Y/N let out a huff at his response, “You don’t have to worry about me so much, you know?”

“I know. You just haven’t gotten that bad in awhile. It’s natural for me to worry, you know? I just wanna look after you.”

“And I appreciate it, I really do. But I promise I’ll be fine. I think it’ll be fun to meet Minho’s celebrity friend and his celebrity friends. A bunch of celebrities!”

Felix chuckled at her comment, letting out a, “Right. I’ll be home in ten.”

The line ended, and Y/N let out a long sigh. The idea of who exactly Minho’s friend was came into her mind, and she brought her phone out to google the name of the band he was in, staring at the search bar as she tried to remember what they were called. Stay, something? Slay?

Oh well, she thought to herself upon realizing that she couldn’t remember what the band was called, locking her phone and tossing it to the side of her bed. She would find out in a few hours, anyway.

After about thirty more minutes of self-loathing, Y/N finally managed to get out of bed, dragging herself into her bathroom to pee and brush her teeth. She cringed when catching a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror, hair sticking up in all sorts of directions. Some parts were still wet from her being too exhausted to dry it before she went to sleep and she groaned at the thought of having to blow dry it. It simply took way too long and her hair was naturally thick and curly, resembling a giant poof ball if any and all forms of heated air came near it. The Dyson Minho bought her helped some, but she still had to go over it afterwards with a curling iron or a straightener. Minho was constantly buying her and Felix stuff they didn’t necessarily need, but she appreciated him nonetheless.

After brushing her teeth, using the bathroom, and going through her entire skin care routine, she went to her closet to attempt to find an outfit that could fit the vibe tonight. Her closet mainly consisted of neutral colors, so really she just needed to decide if she wanted to wear pants or a dress. She bit the inside of her cheek, eyes scanning her clothes rack intensely. She caught sight of the many cocktail dresses she had towards the back, deciding to just wear the black one that already had a built in bra in it so she could go braless. It was simple, short, and sexy with a v-neck, and it showed off her curves nicely. She’d only worn it a few times (all times being at one of Minho’s business parties) and she remembered all the complements she had received each time. She decided that she deserved to feel sexy for one night, and if somebody wanted to take her home tonight, so be it. It was time for her to move on. Or to attempt to, at least.

The sound of the front door opening caught her attention as she took the dress out of her closet to hang up on the door handle, bending down to grab a pair of her black stilettos. As she was standing back up, her bedroom door opened, and the smell of chocolate chip cookies flooded her senses.

“That smells heavenly,” She moaned out once she turned around to see that Felix had—what appeared to be—a fresh batch of cookies in a little bag. She knew it was from his bakery as she caught sight of the little yellow duck logo with the Bbokkari’s Bakery underneath.

Felix let out a chuckle, “I just made a couple before I left work. I figured you could use a little pick me up from your terrible shifts you had this week.”

“You are simply the best,” She smiled in response, walking over to give him a quick kiss on the cheek, grabbing the bag from his hands and eagerly taking a bite out of one of the six cookies, “These get better every-time I try them, seriously. And my shifts weren’t terrible, they can just be really draining. It’s been getting a lot lately.”

Felix smiled at her comment, eyes softening slightly, “Want to talk about it?”

“Not really. Just really need to have some self care days for myself. This festival and all should be pretty refreshing for me.”

Felix hummed in response, eyes shifting over to the pair of heels on the floor and the dress hanging up. “Is that what you’re wearing tonight?”

Y/N nodded, mouth full of cookie as she hurriedly swallowed, “Yeah, does it look okay? You think I need to dress down some? I didn’t know what the vibe was gonna be, but we’re going to be in a room with celebrities so I wanted to, you know, look nice and not let them think Minho’s friends are slobs when he always looks like a freaking YSL model.”

Felix laughed, stepping more into the room to steal a cookie from the bag. The smell was getting too tempting. “No, I think that’s good. I was literally going to wear the same suit I wore to Minho’s business parties.”

“Yep, that’s where this dress is from.”

“I knew I recognized it from somewhere.”

They both broke out in a fit of giggles, happily munching on their cookies, and Y/N snorted out a, “We’re just some broke bitches, aren’t we?” which made them laugh even harder. Felix suddenly started coughing, patting his chest repeatedly, and Y/N mumbled out a, “oh shit!” before walking behind him to give his back a few heavy slaps. He finally calmed down, tears springing his eyes from the laughing and almost choking and Y/N let out another laugh.

“Yeah, let me leave before you actually make me suck down a piece of chocolate chip cookie and I can’t breathe.”

“Good idea.”

Almost two hours later, Y/N was stood facing her bathroom mirror, hair straightened and put into a slick back ponytail, makeup on. She looked okay, she supposed, hands trailing down from her waist and landing on her hips. The dress was tight, hugging her in all the right places, and she turned to the side to check out her ass, hands trailing over it briefly.

“Damn,” A voice startled her, and she jumped slightly before turning her head to see that Minho had walked into the room. “Checking yourself out, are you? I don’t blame you. You look hot, Y/N.”

Y/N scoffed with a grin, “You’ve seen me in this exact dress about three times before.”

“And it gets better each time.” He smirked in response, making Y/N laugh as she turned her bathroom light off and shoved past him to head back into her bedroom. She bent down slightly to grab the pair of heels before sitting down on her bed, putting them on.

“I know I say this every time you’re in a dress, but as your friend, I just have to. You look so hot. And your ass is so—“

“Are you harassing her again?” Felix spoke, leaning against the bedroom door with his arms crossed.

“Me? Never!” Minho gasped, giving Felix a look as he glanced over him from head to toe, “You look hot too, I guess.”

Felix rolled his eyes, and Y/N giggled, standing up once she had both heels on her feet. She walked to her closet to pull out her Gucci purse she had bought as a treat for herself recently, sliding it on her right arm before turning to face Felix and Minho. They were both starring at her, and Y/N glanced at both of them a couples times before letting out a, “What?”

“You’re just so hot. Honestly. Have you ever considered maybe—“

“Would you shut up? Geez, you need to get laid tonight or something.” Felix interrupted Minho again, and Minho scoffed in reply, “Well, if you haven’t noticed, I’m trying to. Just kidding, Y/N. You know I respect you and our friendship. Unless…?”

Y/N giggled again, shaking her head back and forth in disbelief before walking over to Minho, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, “You don’t look so bad yourself.”

Minho smirked, and Y/N then did the same to Felix, making sure to pinch his cheek afterwards for good measures. He hates that.

“Are we all ready to go, then?” Minho asked, straightening up his suit in Y/N’s floor length mirror briefly. They let out a choruses of yes’s, and then headed out towards Minho’s car.

“I can drive us home tonight. I’m not planning on drinking much at all.” Y/N spoke once she sat in the passenger side and buckled herself in. Felix was in the back, per usual, following suit.

“If that’s what you want, sure. I was planning on calling one of my assistants to come drive us back, though.”

“It’s fine. I don’t need to drink a lot. We all know how that turned out last time.” Y/N replied with a small laugh. She saw Minho glance at her from the corner of her eye.

“Are you… do you want to talk about it?” Minho asked in a soft voice, and Y/N immediately regretted the comment she made.

“No,” She softly replied, glancing out the window. She saw Felix in the side-mirror, eyes sharp as he glared at the back of Minho’s head. She let out a sigh, “I appreciate it, but no. It’s just a lot and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I just don’t want to drink much. That makes it worse for me.”

“I didn’t mean to bring it up, sorry. I just wanted to check in. I’m here if you need me. We both are.” He replied, glancing at Felix who was still glaring at him from the back seat. Y/N let out a hum of appreciation, leaning over to give his thigh a little squeeze to let him know she hears him.

Of course, Y/N knew that, and she appreciated it, but Minho doesn’t know. And she simply does not feel like talking about it. It’s not that she doesn’t trust him or feels uncomfortable with him, it’s just a lot for her to pour out every detail of her pathetic heartbreak to someone again.

It’s been years. Yet, she still can’t get over it. And it’s embarrassing, to say the least.

She hates it, and she hates herself for it.

Thirty minutes of throwback R&B songs later, they pulled up to the club, and Y/N thinks she has never seen a club so fancy before. Minho pulled around, cutting down the music slightly as a worker came up to his window. He rolled it down to converse with the guy as Y/N scrolled on her phone, not paying much attention. The car started moving again once Minho let out a, “Thanks man!” and he rolled the window back up.

“He knows my father. He was just checking to make sure we weren’t some obsessed fans or some shit. Told me to pull around towards the back and they’re going to park the car for us.” Minho said, pulling up towards the Valet parking seconds after. “Just a heads up, have your ID’s ready and be prepared to get pat down and have every single pocket checked. We will also have to sign a form before we go in.”

“What is this, an airport?” Felix scoffed out, unbuckling his seat belt and adjusting his button up.

Minho rolled his eyes, “It’s a celebrity party and we aren’t celebrities. It’s expected.”

“You’re more of one than we are.” Y/N mumbled, digging through her purse to pull out her ID. She was starting to get pretty nervous, and Minho could tell, leaning over towards her. “Hey, it’s fine. They’re just people, alright? I’m really excited for you guys to meet Chan. He’s awesome.”

Y/N smiled back just as someone in a ridiculously expensive suit tapped on the car window. She jumped slightly at the sound, and Minho smirked, flicking his head towards the entrance behind them, “Let’s go!”

Getting into the club was stressful. Y/N was stumbling over her feet, hands shaking slightly as she spoke with the security guards, holding in her breath as she quite literally got felt up by another security guard even though she had zero pockets on her dress. She let out a sigh of relief when they finally all got cleared, hands tightly wrapping around Felix’s arm once they got inside.

“Does this happen every time non-celebrities come to these things?” Y/N asked, feet trying to keep up with Felix’s as his tried to keep up with a very eager Minho who was basically sprinting down the hallway.

“Yep. When I’m with my father it isn’t as bad, though. I’ve only been to a couple of celebrity outings by myself.” He replied, rounding a corner to what Y/N assumed was the bar area.

It went from walking through an empty hallway, to entering a room with what seemed like a hundred people. There was music playing fairly loud, a playlist of some R&B, and the place smelled heavily of weed. Y/N scrunched her nose, glancing towards Felix who was looking around the place in awe, then at Minho who was currently talking with the bartender. When did he even walk up there?

Minutes later he came back up to them with two drinks in his hands, handing one to Felix. “Here. I got you a drink. It’s tequila sour.”

Felix scrunched his nose, “Tequila already? You know this shit makes me feral.”

“Exactly. Y/N’s our DD tonight, anyway. Drink up, blondie.”

Felix rolled his eyes, grabbing the drink anyway and taking a sip. His eyes widened, letting out a, “Shit, Y/N, you gotta take a sip. This is some high brand tequila.”

“I think I might throw up if I taste any kind of tequila right now.” Y/N replied, and Minho chuckled, taking a gulp of his beer. Y/N glanced around her again, seeing that multiple people were on the dance floor grinding on each other, others were in corners smoking weed or socializing with alcohol in their hands, and then there were people like her and Felix who were just standing around looking so out of place. Everyone here looked expensive and at home, while they most definitely did not. Y/N could feel the nerves coming back in, and she gripped Felix’s arm even tighter, but he didn’t notice, eyes glancing around the place in awe with the straw from his drink hanging out of his mouth.

“I just texted Chan and told him we were by the bar. He should be here soon,” Minho spoke with a wide grin, a happy sigh leaving his mouth as he looked around the place, “I am so ready to get shit-faced. You guys want some pot? Chan can get us some.”

“No thanks.”

“Hell yeah.”

Y/N and Felix looked at each other once answering at the same time, Felix’s eyes wide and glistening from the mention of free weed. “You guys really are two peas in a pod, aren’t you? Answering at the same time and shit,” Minho chuckled, and Y/N sighed. “Lix, I can get us some. Y/N, what about an edible? I know you only said no because you hate smoking shit.”

Felix’s eyes widened even more in excitement, letting out a, “Yes! Get her some. She needs it so she can relax for once.”

“I am relaxed!”

“You’re most definitely not. You’re cutting off my circulation with your freakishly insane grip you have on my arm. It doesn’t have to be a lot, just a tiny bit to loosen up some.” Felix replied, eyes softening slightly when seeing the slightly annoyed look on her face, “Or you don’t have to! I can get you a coke from the bar and you can happily sip on that. I bet they have coke zero.”

Y/N rolled her eyes, and before she could reply, she heard Minho’s name being yelled, looking up in surprise to see a guy dressed in all black walking towards them with his arms spread outwards. Minho let out a loud laugh, meeting the guy halfway and embracing him in a hug. Y/N and Felix shared a look, and Y/N whispered out a, “Is that famous bestie Chan?”

“I think so,” Felix whispered back, taking another sip of his drink, and Y/N took the time to observe the guy while they had their little moment.

He wasn’t super tall, but was built nicely. He had one small hoop earring in his right ear and another on his nose. His arms were covered in a variety of tattoos, a silver chain hanging around his neck. The shirt he had on was tight, and Y/N could tell that he definitely worked out.

“Let me introduce you to my friends!” Minho suddenly yelled out, leading them over towards where Felix and Y/N stood. They immediately stood up straight, and Felix cleared his throat briefly when noticing they were heading towards them rather quickly.

“Chan, this is Felix and Y/N. They’re my friends from uni,” Minho introduced them with a wide grin on his face, “And this is Chan, my buddy from home.”

Felix was the first to speak, wasting no time in extending his free hand out towards Chan, which he took quickly, “It’s so nice to meet you! Minho here has told us a lot about you.” He grinned, and Y/N stifled a laugh, knowing that the only time Minho had even mentioned he had a celebrity friend was last week. He’s a private person.

“Yeah, man, it’s nice to meet you, too! Any friend of Minho’s is always a friend of mine.” Chan smiled, and Y/N found herself doing the same. His smile was just contagious.

“And it’s nice to meet you, as well,” He adverted his attention over to Y/N, and she blushed slightly when he planted a small kiss on the back of her hand. “Thank you guys for coming. I hope you’re excited for the festival tomorrow. Hopefully we don’t disappoint.”

“You could never! We’re stoked to get to go!” Felix replied way too enthusiastically, and Y/N had to refrain from rolling her eyes, “We’ve actually never been to a metal-type festival, so we’re pretty excited to see you guys perform. I know Minho definitely is.”

Minho rolled his eyes teasingly while Chan laughed, “Yeah, it isn’t for everyone, but I hope you genuinely enjoy it.”

Y/N, realizing she hasn’t spoken a word since Chan arrived, opened her mouth to give some input to the conversation, when another guy interrupted her by stumbling into their little circle, arm settling over Chan’s back. “There you are! I’ve got some people looking for you. Wanna know if you want to do some body shots.” He loudly spoke, taking a long sip out of his glass in his hand.

“Perfect timing, I was trying to find you earlier so I could introduce you to Minho and his friends,” Chan replied, patting the guy’s chest briefly to catch his attention. The guy’s eyes widened slightly, letting out a, “Oh, shit, sorry! I’m Changbin. The sexiest from the group.”

“As if,” Chan scoffed out, shoving him to the side lightly, “More like the loudest.”

“Think you’re forgetting about Jisung over there.” Changbin pointed out, nodding his head over towards, supposedly, Jisung who was currently doing a body shot on some girl in a lingerie set, yelling extremely loud once he finished, voice being heard very clearly over the booming of the music and the many cheers.

Chan winced slightly, “Don’t remind me.”

Minho laughed before conversing with Changbin, who she noticed was also wearing all black, letting out a, “I guess I picked the right color to wear tonight.”

Chan quickly look Y/N over from head to toe, letting out a smirk, “You did. You all did. Black just matches everything, you know? You look great, too.”

Y/N smiled, letting out a small thank you, and Chan smiled back warmly in response before walking over to drape his arm over the back of Minho, “So you’ve met Changbin and got an unforesaken glimpse of Jisung, so now I just have to find the other one. He’s probably on the dance floor somewhere. Let me buy you guys a round of drinks and introduce you to some others.”

Felix’s eyes lightened up at the mention of free drinks, quickly chugging down his and letting out a loud sigh once he finished. “Damn, slow down.” Y/N laughed out.

“Can’t. Famous bestie Chan is buying a round of drinks, and I don’t want him to think I’m a slow drinker and can’t keep up.”

Y/N rolled her eyes, “Literally nobody is thinking that.”

Felix chose to ignore her, tugging her arm slightly to lead them towards the bar, seeing that they were already up there ordering. “Should we do a round of shots or do you guys prefer a drink? I’d be happy to do both. Changbin also has some pot brownies in the back if you’re interested in that, too.”

“This might be the best night of my life,” Felix whispered, and Y/N elbowed him in the ribs, making him let out a wince. “Do you like pot brownies, or something?” Changbin laughed out, gulping down the rest of his drink. The tattoos on his bicep caught Y/N’s attention, the mix of swirls and figures she couldn’t exactly make out. He did not have as many as Chan did, and Y/N wonders if they all have some sort of tattoos on their skin.

“Love them. Can’t ever find any good ones,” Felix replied, setting his glass down on the table, “Also, I’m down for anything. We can drink whatever.”

Chan and Minho must have decided on shots, as a couple seconds later, they turned around with five in their hands, a menacing smirk gracing Minho’s lips as he swayed over towards Y/N and Felix. “Here, hoes. It’s your favorite.”

“Min, you know I didn’t want to drink tonight.” Y/N whined out, obviously devastated at the fact that Minho had brought her a lemon drop shot. Seriously, he knew she was a sucker for those. And the grin on his face was not helping one bit.

“Exactly, it’s your favoriteee,” He sang out, waving the shot underneath her nostrils. It was even coated with a nice sugar rim, and was that a mini lemon slice on the edge of the glass? She’s sold.

“Ugh, you’re the worst,” She groaned out, jerking the shot out of his hand with an exaggerated eye roll, and Chan immediately began laughing.

“Damn, Minho. You’re still just as bad of an influence as you were in middle school, aren’t you?”

“Yes, he is!” Y/N spoke up before Minho could, Felix letting out a noise of agreement, knowing he couldn’t protest. “He is the worst! The absolute worst! But he does take good care of us, I guess.” She shrugged, and Chan chuckled in reply.

“Good. Otherwise, I’d have to beat his ass.”

“Like you ever could. Remember who always won in our fights? You could never take me.”

Minho and Chan then began to argue, Y/N and Felix watching in amusement, when Changbin suddenly interrupted them with a, “Yah! Could you two stop bickering for a second so we can take these shots? I’m trying to get shit-faced tonight.”

Chan rolled his eyes, wrapping an arm around Changbin and bringing him into the circle Y/N realized they had unintentionally formed. “Alright, fuckers. Cheers to new friends, music, and hot girls in lingerie sets waiting for us to do body shots on!” He shouted out, tapping his glass with everyone’s. They all downed it in one gulp, Felix letting out a, “Hell yeah!” as he slammed his glass down on the table.

Y/N gave him a look, “You almost broke the damn glass.”

“Sorry. I got too excited.” He sheepishly grinned.

A couple of people starting yelling Chan and Changbin’s name, making Y/N look up to see a group of guys waving them over. They were dressed to the nines, glasses in their hands as they drunkingly wobbled back and forth. She let out a small gasp when one of them toppled over onto the floor, and Chan sighed, running his hand through his styled hair.

“Those idiots,” He mumbled, “They’re Jisung’s friends. And they think we’re best friends or some shit. All they do is give me high blood pressure whenever they come to these things.”

“Yeah, they’re pretty annoying. But so is Jisung, so that explains it,” Changbin spoke, grabbing a beer from the bartender and turning around to face Chan, “I’ll go talk to them. You can take your friends and introduce them to some people or give them a tour or whatever. I’ll catch up in a bit.”

He then turned to face Y/N, Minho, and Felix, giving them a wide grin and giving them each a small hug, which they all didn’t hesitate to reciprocate. He smelled like mint and wood, Y/N noticed—a weird combination that somehow seemed fitting. “Nice to meet you guys. I’m sure I’ll see you around a good bit. Let me know if you ever need anything! A friend of Chan’s is always a friend of mine.”

“Will do, thanks man.” Minho grinned in return. Y/N watched him walk off, giggling slightly when she saw him roll his eyes whenever the guys grabbed his shoulders. She felt Felix lean into her slightly, and she gripped his arm in return, eyes glancing around the crowd.

The song had changed, The Weeknd now blaring through the speakers. Y/N swayed slightly, a small grin gracing her lips as she saw a large group of people dancing. “Anybody want to dance?” She asked, tugging Felix’s arm.

“Let’s do it.”

Y/N grabbed Minho and Feix’s hands, Chan following closely behind them with a laugh, leading them all into the middle of what appeared to be the dance floor for the night. She giggled, hips immediately moving to the beat of the music, standing in-between Minho and Felix, grins on their faces.

This is exactly what she needed: her, and her best friends in the middle of a club dancing with Minho’s celebrity friend. This is exactly what she needed—it was all she needed. It was all she needed to begin to move on.

Minho then decided to break out the stanky leg, the laugh Y/N was about to let out dying in her throat as she turned around.

Time seemed to stop. The music that was blaring turned into a loud ring in her ears, white noise taking over her head. Her heart felt like it just beat right out of her chest, all the breath in her lungs getting caught in her body. White, white, white—all she was seeing was white in the midst of the bodies gracing the dance floor as she felt her body melt to the ground as nothing—for that is all she was in his presence.

“Hyunjin!” Chan had shouted, catching his attention as he eagerly waved him over, calling him over towards them, confirming what she knew was already true.

She felt someone lightly shaking her, a muffled sound in her ears. She had watched as he turned around at the voice, wide grin on his face, a glimmer in his eyes. She had watched as his eyes immediately met hers, the grin fading as quickly as it came, a look of remorse painting itself on his face. There was a girl on his arm, one of the girls in a lingerie set, bright red lips kissing his neck, hands trailing down his torso.

She felt nauseous. Her head was spinning, and she could feel her heart dying all over again.

It wasn’t until she felt herself stumbling backwards into a body that she regained consciousness—music and frantic words filling her ears as her face was shoved into a chest, a hand holding the back of her neck protectively. She took some deep breaths, gripping the sides of Felix’s shirt before looking up at him.

That’s him, her eyes spoke, and he knew immediately.

“Wait, did he say Hyunjin?” Minho asked, and Y/N’s vision went from white to red.

“I need some air.” She let out, roughly getting out of Felix’s grasp as she stumbled through the crowd of people. It felt like she was underwater, not being able to breathe until she swam to the surface, gasping loudly once she made it out of the back doors.

She gripped her chest, chest heaving with exertion, wheezes coming out in strangled breaths. She slowly slid down against the brick wall, eyes watering. She could feel her throat closing up, hands and legs shaking, gasping loudly in attempt to compensate for the shortness of breath she was experiencing, mind clouded with Hyunjin.

Hyunjin, Hyunjin, Hyunjin.

“Fuck, she’s having a panic attack!” A voice yelled, as multiple pairs of loafers came into view. She heard Felix talking to her, could smell Minho’s cologne. Yet, she couldn’t focus on anything for more than three seconds at a time, the gasps coming out more forcefully now as her whole body began to shake.

“Get the fuck away from her!”

Another voice, a voice all too familiar was heard, coming through one ear and right out the other. A pair of black boots came into view, a body crouching down, pulling her into a hug. The smell of musk and soap and a hint of floral invaded her senses, a smell she remembered all too well—a sense of comfort. She immediately relaxed.

The gasps got shorter, quieter, until you could no longer hear them at all. Her body stilled, hushed whispers filling her mind, and she went limp, mind clouding with plush lips and warmth.

Hyunjin, Hyunjin, Hyunjin.

She looked up. He was already starring at her.

And god—he was beautiful. He was still beautiful, just as she knew he would be.

She took a good look at him, eyes trailing from his eyebrow piercing, to his long black hair perfectly tucked behind his ears, to his lip ring that sat so elegantly against his bottom lip, the silver blending with the red plush of his lips. He had tattoos over his neck, shapes and swirls captivating her as she followed them with her eyes, moving downward to see that he had even more on his arms. She couldn’t see his chest, but she had a feeling there was even more underneath his black tee, and her breath hitched once she caught his eyes again, his dark eyes that never once looked away from hers.

Hyunjin, Hyunjin, Hyunjin.

He was here. But why did it still feel like he wasn’t?

Before she could process everything, she lifted her right hand up without thinking, hand coming in contact right with his cheek. Her hand stung, his face moving to the side from the slight force, a light area of redness forming onto his skin. Gasps were heard behind him, but Y/N wasn’t paying attention at who was even surrounding them, eyes focused on him.

He stayed like that for a moment, face turned to the side, hair falling in front of his face, before scoffing loudly, turning back around to face her. A smirk graced his lips, and Y/N felt herself wanting to slap him again.

So she did.

“Hey! You can’t keep hitting him! He’s the face of this band, you know?!” A voice yelled out, and before Felix or Minho could yell anything back, he interrupted them.

“S’fine. I deserved that.”

His voice was deeper, a slight rasp to it, but still had the same softness that she was used to. He still had the same smirk on his lips, which pissed Y/N off even more, and she reached her hand up to strike him again out of spite when he had caught her, hands gently grasping her wrist.

“Come on now, sweetheart. Don’t you think two was enough?”

His voice was mocking, the smirk on his lips widening, eyes brows raising. He rubbed her wrist with his fingers, slowly bringing her hand down to rest it on his chest. She could feel his heart beat pounding against her hand, and she almost cried at the fact that he was real and he was touching her.

“I think you should leave her alone. She really doesn’t look like she wants anything to do with you, all offense. You really have no right to be touching her after you just gave her a fucking panic attack—“

“She gets those, sometimes. She gets anxious and overwhelmed, and sometimes it causes her to have one,” He interrupted Felix’s voice, hand curling around hers as he intertwined their hands, eyes refusing to leave hers. “I know what to do when she gets them. Don’t tell me to do shit, man.” He spat out, voice getting louder in slight irritation, and Y/N took this opportunity to snatch her hand out of his grasp, holding it with her other hand and cuddling it up to her chest.

Hyunjin’s eyes softened slightly, and he opened his mouth to say something, but Y/N interrupted him with a soft, “Hyunjin?”

She knew it was him, and she knew he was real, but she needed him to hear her say his name. She needed him to respond.

“Hey, Pedal,” He whispered in reply, and her eyes filled with tears.

She refused to cry in front of him though, shoving him to the side as she quickly stood up, wobbling slightly, pulling her dress down with a forceful tug before speed-walking away from him. She pushed her way past Minho and Felix, ignoring their frantic voices, ignoring anything and everything around her as she entered the club once again, desperately looking around for the bathroom.

She finally found it, slamming the door shut once she got inside, back against the door as she slumped down once more, tears falling down her cheeks.

She knew her makeup was definitely ruined, but she didn’t even care. She couldn’t bring herself to care.

His smirk was replaying in her mind. He was her Hyunjin, but he wasn’t anymore. And he was here, right in front of her, but he wasn’t. If she would have just remembered the name of the stupid band and looked them up she could have avoided all of this. Of course Hyunjin was in a band. Of course he was the lead singer. Of course he was still just as beautiful as he was years ago, just as he always was.

She sobbed harder, cuddling the hand he had just held to her chest, hoping to find comfort in a piece of him that has been lost for years.

The brightest star in the sky was always accompanied by another. Hyunjin was the brightest, and Y/N simply was the other. That’s all she would ever be.

#hwang hyunjin #hyunjin fanfic #hyunjin smut #hyunjin x y/n #stray kids #skz #lee felix #lee know #hyunjin stray kids #im new lol #hope this is ok <33

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starrylothcat · 11 months

Note

Prompt request for our sweet boy Echo (or our lovely Captain Rex) ..."I'll do anything you want me to do to you, but you have to say it out loud." 🫠

Oh, Captain

🔥Captain Rex x Fem!Reader One-Shot

Summary: No plot. Just smut. Rex shows you just how much he loves you.

Warnings: NSFW. 18+. Minors DNI. Established relationship, consensual PiV sex, cunnilingus. No super detailed description of reader. 2000-ish words.

Author’s Note: Sorry this took so long, dear anon. I had to debate super hard whether to do Rex or Echo, haha. But Rex is my original husband so this is what happened (aka writing yet another self-indulgent smut fic)

Thanks for 100 follows, the Star Wars/Clone Wars/Bad Batch fandom has been such a joy to write for and be part of! Drop me a line, let me know what you think. 😘

This one’s for all the Rex simps 💅

You and Rex rarely had time alone.

He was a busy man, as was expected being the Captain of one of the most successful battalions in the war. But he always made time for you, even if it was just a quick kiss in a dark corner or a sweet word in your ear as you passed one another in a busy hallway.

But tonight was different, you had the time. Rex was given a few days of shore leave, and neither of you wanted to waste a single moment.

Your mind was spinning as Rex pressed his muscled body into yours, sinking you both into the motel bed. Caging you between his arms, he deepened an already loving and passionate kiss.

Rex rolled his still clothed hips against you, his hardening desire rutting deliciously against your already wet core. Your pants and top were already thrown somewhere in the room, leaving you only in your panties. His armor was stacked by the bed, discarded a long while ago.

The feeling of his stiff cock rubbing on you pulled a deep moan from your mouth as pleasure shot up both your spines. “Rex…please.” You begged, wanting to feel more of him as you gently ran your fingers through his buzzed hair. He trailed kisses from the side of your swollen lips, down your jaw, until he was nibbling on a sensitive spot on your neck. The deep ache you had for him intensified, wanting him to fill you up and never let you go.

“Please what…?” He hummed. One of Rex’s hands was now teasing your breast, gently squeezing and kneading as he continued to rut against you, while his other arm held his weight over you.

You whined at his words, his teeth grazing across your collarbone, his stubble against your exposed skin making you shudder.

“What do you want, mesh’la?” You let out another whine as he began to roll your nipple between his fingers, your mind turning to mush.

“I’ll do anything you want me to do to you. But you have to say it out loud.”

His seductive words shot pure arousal to your core, surprised at his alluring order. You threw him a playful look as he lifted his head from your neck. “Is that right, Captain?” You purred, willing to indulge in him.

“Yes,” he mumbled as he switched his hand to your other breast, delivering it the same attention. “Tell me what you want…” His eyes flicked up to yours, his hand still rolling your pert nipple between his fingers, your mind in a haze. Rex was ready to please you, worship you. You were his everything and he wanted to make sure you knew it.

“I want - I want you…” you panted as you tugged at his blacks. “I want these off.”

Rex let out a low chuckle as he lifted himself off you. “Yes, ma’am.” Rex quickly stripped himself of his blacks, leaving him completely naked. You ogled his tanned body, even though you have seen him naked many times before. His chest was peppered with scars, ones that you have memorized twice over, remnants of close calls on the front lines. His cock ready and willling, swollen with craving. You swallowed, wanting nothing more than him inside you, to feel his passion.

Rex climbed back on top of you, but stopped halfway, hovering over your lower half.

“Now what?” He husked, starting to really enjoy the game he had started, a playful gleam in his eyes. “Tell your Captain what to do.”

Rex’s pupils were blown with lust, ready to please you in any way you wanted. You licked your lips, thinking for just a moment, though rational thoughts were long gone in your head. “Touch me.” Your voice a hoarse whisper, your body burning with desire.

“You’ll have to be more specific…” Rex lowered his head between your legs, his warm breath fanning over your still clothed pussy. Rex knew what you wanted, but you needed to say it.

“Touch you where? With what?” His fingers ghosted up your thighs as he pressed light kisses to the inside of your legs.

Rex wanted nothing more than to rip those panties off and feast on your arousal, but he was a patient man. He wanted to hear how much you wanted him. He needed to hear it.

You shifted your hips, wanting him to get on with it already, though you secretly loved his teasing. “Rex…” His name a long sigh from your lips as he gently dragged a thumb over your clothed lips, giving you some of the friction you so desperately wanted.

You bucked against him, hungry for more of his touch as he lazily rubbed his thumb against you.

“I want you to say it, mesh’la.” There was desperation laced in his voice, his own body on fire with anticipation as he awaited your response.

You couldn’t help but smirk, watching how he was trying to hold himself together. You propped yourself up on your elbows, fully looking at him now. He was poised, ready to do whatever you wished of him.

“I want your handsome face between my legs, and I want you to make me cum with just your tongue...” You voice was an octave lower, husky with desire, loving the way his eyes darkened at your demand. “Is that clear enough for you, Captain?”

“Your wish is my command, ma’am.” Rex rumbled, grinning as he hooked his fingers under the waistband of your panties, sliding them down your legs and tossing over his shoulder. You watched as he brought his mouth between your legs, his hands gently but firmly holding your thighs in place. “Just like this?”

Rex pressed his mouth to your pussy, delicately probing his tongue at your entrance, slowly licking up and down your lips.

You threw your head back against the pillow, falling back down fully onto the bed, feeling his tongue work magic between your legs.

“Y-yes, Rex, just like that…!”

He couldn’t help but groan at how wet you already were for him as he began his meal, licking at a steady pace, setting your entire body ablaze.

You gripped the sheets, gasping out a loud curse as your legs shook at his ministrations. “Rex, ahh, please…” Your head lolled against the pillow, your eyes screwed shut in bliss as he licked and sucked at a perfect pace, your entire body feeling like it was boneless.

Your moans spurred him on, his own cock desperate for attention, but not until you were fully satisfied.

Rex increased his pace, his tongue now working at your clit, circling and sucking as your body twitched and shuddered in response, getting closer to release. One of his hands slipped from your thigh and moved to your lower abdomen, keeping you in place as your body trembled more vehemently, your cries and whines becoming louder, feeling your orgasm build with every roll of his tongue. “D-don’t stop…”

“I wouldn’t dream of it...” He purred against you, knowing you were close, needing to hear his name call from your lips as you did so.

He loved you, more than he could ever express in words. You complete him in every sense. Obviously there was more to your relationship than sex, but he longed for these few and far between moments in which he could truly show you just how much he cherished you.

You let out a choked sob of his name, your hands flying to grip the sides of his platinum head as pleasure ripped through your body. Your orgasm washed over you as he continued to lap and hold his tongue against you. He almost came himself at the sounds coming from deep in your chest and the feeling of your body convulsing under his hands and tongue.

Your hands fell from his head, your body beginning to relax as your intense orgasm subsided. Rex lifted his head, gazing at your limp body on the bed, your eyes fluttering open to meet his.

“How was that?” He murmured, wiping your slick off his chin. “A-Amazing, as always.” You couldn’t help but smile as your chest heaved, trying to regain your senses.

Rex felt pride swell in his chest, seeing how blissed out you were from just his mouth, the look of love in your hooded eyes as you came to from your pleasure.

“You’re so beautiful, you know that?” Rex muttered as he climbed back on top of you, pressing his throbbing cock against your pussy, gently grinding down, eliciting a groan from both of you.

“Now...” His lips brushed against yours, your arms wrapping around his shoulders. “…what do you want me to do?”

His forehead dropped to yours, stopping himself from slipping into you. “I want you to fuck me until we both can’t think straight.”

That’s all he needed to hear, his body shuddering as he pushed inside your soaked entrance, not wanting you to wait any longer.

He let out a shaky sigh, his eyes meeting yours as he bottomed out, beginning a slow, deliberate pace. “I love you.” Your breathy whisper in his ear melted him as you wrapped your legs around his waist, your fingernails digging in to his defined back muscles. Rex rocked in to you, deeper with every thrust, his movements languid as you savored the sensation of him filling you up.

“I…love you, too.” He responded as his lips caught yours, only you and your devotion existing as he continued his leisurely pace. “Rex…” you groaned against his lips, “I want to ride you.” His honeyed eyes gleamed, and before you could say another word he flipped you both, finding yourself on top of him. “Like I said, love,”he huffed, a slight grin on his face as he ran his hands up your belly to your breasts, giving them each a gratifying squeeze. “I’ll do anything you want.”

You smirked as you pressed your hands down on his chest, beginning to move your body, unhurriedly at first, as he did to you.

Now it was your turn to see him beneath you, watching every twitch and hearing every moan that left his lips as you rode him. You relished seeing him like this, fully relaxed, fully undone.

You loved looking into his captivating eyes that held so much emotion, feeling his powerful shoulders that held too many burdens, hearing his quiet impassioned confessions only meant for your ears. You wished you could run away from it all, be like this forever.

Rex’s hands moved to grip your ass, enjoying the plush handfuls of your flesh against his palms and the view of your body bouncing above him. Maker, he loved you. You were everything he needed. Soft, loving, understanding. You gave him another reason to fight, to ensure a peaceful Galaxy where he could spend the rest of his life with you in moments just like this.

“You feel so amazing…I love you…so much…” he slurred, his hands traveling up from gripping your ass to caressing up and down your back, feeling your warm pussy working his length deliciously. His mind now turning to mush at all the sensations.

You leaned down and brought your lips to his, tasting him deeply. Your tongue explored his mouth as you swallowed eachother’s moans, bouncing faster on top of him, stoking the flame that was growing in both your bellies.

Rex’s hands solidly clutched your waist, careful not to leave any marks as his hips drove up to meet yours. He always felt bad when he left a bruise or accidental hickey, being the gallant man that he was, but you secretly loved it when he did.

Your head was buried in his neck, your body slick with sweat as you climbed your peaks. Rex’s groans were getting louder, taking the form of your name, letting you know he was getting close. You were close too, your thighs quivering with exertions, your hands gripping the sheets around his head, each thrust up into you sending electric shockwaves up and down your body.

“I want you to cum for me Rex, please…” You rasped against his neck, needing to feel his release deep inside you.

“I’m close-so close…” Rex panted out, not able to hold back after hearing your words, feeling your soft walls flutter around his cock as your were reaching your own climax.

Rex’s thrusts became erratic as he let out a gutteral groan of your name, spilling himself deep inside you.

You followed, your own orgasm exploding over you as you chanted his name, both of you drunk with lust and pleasure, your movements slowing as you came down from your highs.

Your thighs now officially jelly, you gave a few last, slow thrusts as the pleasure wore off, leaning down to catch his lips.

Rex wrapped his arms around your torso, pulling you down flush on top of him as your body melted into him.

You blinked tears away from the intensity, from the pure adoration Rex had for you. He rubbed his hands up and down your back, nuzzling his face into yours as your bodies relaxed. You slid out of him, rolling off and cuddling to his side, basking in the afterglow.

“Are you still taking orders from me, Captain?” You whispered as you laid your head across his chest. “Of course.” He chuckled as he tightened his embrace around you.

“Always be mine.” You uttered as you sat up to gaze at him, his eyes holding only the utmost reverence and adoration for you. “Only if you promise the same.” Rex kissed you, loving and tender, knowing you had his heart, and that he had yours.

You could feel a slight electric tingle in your body, feeling Rex’s hands begin to wander and gently squeeze at your curves. You giggled as Rex maneuvered over you, kissing all over your cheeks and down your neck.

“Now, I think it’s time for you to return the favor… …if that’s okay with you…” His voice gravelly, the playful gleam back in his eyes. You nipped at his jaw, your burning need re-igniting, excited to give him the same total attention he had just given you.

“Yes, sir. Anything for my Captain.”

@wanderer-six 👀

#rex is kind of cheeky in this 👀#captain rex x reader #captain rex x you #captain rex #the clone wars fanfiction #the clone wars #tcw #rex x reader #rex x you #Star Wars fanfiction #captain rex x female!reader #captain rex x femreader #starrycatwrites #the bad batch #captain rex smut

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kairiscorner · 6 months

Note

okok hear me out on this request i know you do highschool miguel but imagine 2000s highschool au with punk!miguel where he’s dates reader who’s basically the girl next door typa gal/she’s basically super sweet compared to migs and they both go to homecoming together, take pictures dance bla bla bla before they ditch it and hangout somewhere secluded

˗ˏˋ ✮ kairi's AUtober !

day 8: homecoming with bad boy miguel o'hara.

homecoming of batch 2000 – the theme being a mix of a starry night and wonderland; it was... an experience–because he was with you. he came over to your door, donning a white dress shirt with a dark blue blazer draped over his broad, tanned shoulders; his dark brown, tousled hair curtaining his chocolate colored irises. he made sure to remove his nose and lip piercings, he remembers what kind of impression he made towards your family when he came looking as he was–but that never deterred you from loving him as your boyfriend, ever.

he may have been a "bad boy", a "punk"–but he was most importantly, the one you loved, and the one who loved you the most. he smirked to himself slightly at the images of you in all kinds of dresses; his face heated up at the thought of you looking all adorable in a dress, but seeing you in a whimsical, bright attire, adorned with hearts, spades, clovers, and diamonds... you stole his heart again and squeezed it with how beautiful you looked.

"wow, you're... wonderful." "like i'm really from wonderland?" you asked him with a shy voice, looking up at him. he chuckled and took your hands in his and grinned. "like you're the ruler of wonderland, like absolute royalty." he added, complimented you, a hint of a fluster on his face as he grinned wider and led you out of the crowd. "want me to show you a real starry night?" he asked you in a hushed voice as you chuckled. "hmm, sounds like that beats all the sequins and glitters..." "believe me, cariño, it does; because you'll be here with me, under the light... of countless stars."

tags !! @miguelswifey04 @araneol @hisachuu @wreakingmarveloushavok @simsrandomstuff @luvstarrstruck @popeheywardssecretgf @meeom @arachnoia @melovetitties @fable-library @ophanimgold @smokeywhalee @capnshtfce

he sounded so soft with his voice, so gentle–his touch didn't feel tight, it felt... clingy, just a little bit; it felt so tender and warm, that nothing else could match the purity of this moment in time. it sure might be a highschool dance, a get-together full of pubescent teenagers that might sneak in a few drinks and kiss the night away in their cars in the parking lot, but tonight was magical. tonight, the stars are in full view, bright and aligned–creating the vision of a starry paradise for the two of you under the sky as you both stepped out of the school gym and took your places under a tree you planted with him in your very first year of junior high.

"wonderland seems like a lovely place... but honestly, wonderland is more of an... experience." "what do you mean, miggy?" you asked him in wonder as he placed two fingers under your chin and directed your face to look at him. he smiles sweetly and his eyes shone with so much love, and he leaned in and pecked a kiss on your forehead. when he pulled away, he ran his hands through your hair and snuggled up closer with you. "wonderland is an experience, because... it's like i'm having the time of my life when i'm with you. time stops, everything's where it should be–and i... i'm falling more and more with you, everyday." "then... i'm glad that was half of our theme." "was weird at first, but i think the universe was just trying to help me tell you just how i really feel about you, mi vida."

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somewhereincairparavel · 21 days

Text

General Jason Grace headcanons ⚡

⚡ I feel like he's kinda sensitive. He isn't the crier type of sensitive tho but since he's super emotionally attuned to body language reading and stuff, he gets a little hurt easily, sometimes misinterpreting someone's behaviour to him, so maybe if one of his friend's start getting snappy with him because they're having a bad day, he'd actually be pretty damn upset about it, but would hide it.

⚡ Also also, this man HATES being yelled at. Sure, he's been trained harshly and stuff but he's very hard on himself too so I feel like if someone yells at him (like in an argument or something) the poor boy's whole day would be ruined.

⚡ This is also why I feel like he NEVER raises his voice harshly at anyone even if he's super super angry because he knows how much damage yelling can do.

⚡ But. He can still manage to be terrifying if he's mad. He'd have that intense icy stare directed at the person (I'm pretty sure this is canon and is pointed out by multiple characters in the books). And his voice would be steady but VERY firm and strong. Kinda like a strict dad.

⚡ Also, his eyes would get a slight shade lighter if he's super angry. Like he usually has bright electric blue eyes right? It would just turn into ice colured ones.

⚡ Okay I feel like before they all go to bed, he'd go check on everyone in the Argo ii to see if they're comfortable or if they need anything, etc. definitely an overbearing mother friend tbh. He gets this habit from camp Jupiter where he was kinda in charge for cabin rounds since he was centurion.

⚡ I hc him to have like lemony yellow hair, instead of platinum or golden blonde. It's not too light but it isn't dark either.

⚡ Why do I feel like sun tan literally never affects this guy? Like for instance, I totally hc that percy gets tanned pretty quickly, but this man's skin just wouldn't budge. Instead of his body getting tanned I feel like his hair would get a few yellow shades darker instead lol

⚡ I felt like he'd be sunburnt instead tho. There would be blotchy pink patches on his face and arms after he comes back from the beach.

⚡ He definitely LOVES his roman baths, could spend hours in that bath (honestly if u guys have seen traditional Roman baths, you'd know that they look like a spa day DREAM omg) so he would feel super disoriented when he has regular baths in chb instead and would miss Roman baths SO badly.

⚡ Like the Roman baths literally ease his muscle tension after a long day. It would be like the only part of the day in camp Jupiter that would actually feel relaxing for him.

⚡ He's such a foodie okay. Remember how he kept munching on his brownies religiously when the crew were in such a dangerous situation? ("Pass me the brownies bro") or when he loved the sweet stuff the snake people had made for them? Like food just makes him forget his duties and be a kid for once.

⚡ Which leads us to our next hc, he has such a sweet tooth! (Tho I feel like this was aluded many times in the books aswell). Like he's every dentist's nightmare tbh. He has like teeth stains which he'd deliberately try to get rid of by aggressively brushing his teeth (it does come off lol)

⚡ As opposed to what people usually assume about him. Jason is secretly such a hopeless romantic tbh. Nothing like his dad in that category. Remember how he snuck Piper out the window, led her into his secret rooftop passage simply to recreate their first kiss under the stars, since Piper was super upset about it being fake? Yeah, he hates upsetting his s/o. he's like super thoughtful and plans stuff like these days ahead so he doesn't forget :(

⚡ He's such a people pleaser even with people he barely knows, and the effect only doubles when he has a partner tbh. Like if his partner doesn't like a particular place? He won't like it either. So he needs someone to encourage him and tell him it's okay to like something the others dislike.

⚡ Which is also why I think that he'd be easier to emotionally guilt trip and manipulate. :(( somone wrap him up in a fluffy blanky pls

⚡ As opposed to canon, I feel like Jason only dislikes Camp Jupiter, not New Rome itself. He ADORES that place to shreds. I feel like instead of settling in a mortal area or something, he'd definitely stay in New Rome for long-term living (bc screw canon, him wanting to leave new Rome all together seems SO ooc to me idk) some parts of his roman self would ALWAYS be there tbh. That place was practically his home. Also, he only wants a peaceful, monster free life right? New Rome would obviously provide with all that, yk since they have a strong barrier for the city to prevent invasion.

⚡ He would have an aptitude for sculpting statues and stuff. He'd love to do it as a hobby, not like an architect or something like annabeth tho. He made such cool dioramas for his shrine ideas, so I feel like he just pours his heart and soul into making cool sculptures.

⚡ He would totally study in law school. His dad's legit the god of justice, he's a great speaker, can hold debates calmly, can canonically hear both sides of an argument before coming to a decision, seems very lawyer coded.

⚡ But he'd also be a good history professor. Have yall heard his yapping? Leo called him professor Grace for how much dedication he goes into explaining roman history. And he genuinely LOVES it. A very passionate teacher material to me.

⚡ Also, all he wants is for his partner to listen to him talk :( he has SO much to say but he feels like no one listens, so hed literally cry if someone takes interest in his long explanations (kind of like annabeth in this tbh)

⚡ Also, Octavian can NEVER argue with Jason because that man is just THAT good at smart and witty answers that even octavian saw him as a threat.

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sugartitzblah · 11 months

Text

kyle broflovski, stan marsh and craig tucker x fem model!reader headcanons.

warnings: none.

stanley marsh.

poor boy couldn’t believe that he actually pulled a chick and not any kind of chick, a fucking model.

if you met him before being a model he knew about your goal of being a top model and he always supported that idea of yours.

at first he didn’t understand much about modeling or how it works but he’s actually interesting on knowing more about it.

it’s not a secret that you’re a model so he’s super protective over you when other guys try to talk to you.

when he sees someone flirting at you he just approaches form behind and wraps his arms around your waist to let them know that you’re his.

he gets super self conscious, i mean you’re a fucking model and he just sees himself as a fucking loser so please reassure him, make him feel loved.

you have a runway show? he’ll go to every runway show he can. usually you have to fly to different states to attend the shows so it’s kind of difficult for him to go to every single one of them so he just watches the livestream of the runway and brags to the boys about it.

“THAT’S MY BABY, SHE LOOKS STUNNING, HER WALK IS EVERYTHING. ARE YOU GUYS SEEING THAT? SHE’S MY GIRL.”

he’s adorable. 😭

he admires you because he knows how tiring your modeling job can be, his lazy ass could never.

you had to use red lipstick for a photo shoot session? kiss him everywhere, loves when your lipstick leaves marks all over his face and neck, everyone can tell when you make out because of the lip stains you leave on his mouth and all over his cute face. 🤭

after kissing you he cleans the edges of your lips with his thumb when your lipstick smudges. 🙏🏻

he calls you his little star.

kyle broflovski.

oh god he can’t explain how happy he is for you.

when you have a runway show he gets even more excited than you.

he can proudly say that his celebrity crush is you.

if you appear in magazines he would buy every single one of the ones you appear in to start collecting them.

if you have a photo shoot session he will always go with you and in between brakes he will get you whatever you need without asking. don’t worry, our jewish boy gots you.

he watches with you every victoria secret’s fashion show because he knows how much you love them.

“one day you will be on that stage and i will be on the crowd cheering for you, my love.”

“HE’S SO SWEET AND SUPPORTIVE.

when you have to model in lingerie he goes crazy, can’t stop staring at your body, mostly your legs and ass. he tries to be respectful about it but he just can’t when you look that fucking hot.

he gets jealous when other boys likes your instagram posts so to make everyone know that you’re his he spams your comment section.

“you drive me crazy, y/n”, “that’s my beautiful girl, shining as always”, “darling i’m so proud of you.” 🤭🤭

he’s always respectful towards you, treats you like a fucking princess and after every runway show he brings you flowers to remind you how much he loves you!

you have kyle reminding you how proud he feels 24/7.

he’s so baby girl coded.

craig tucker.

one thing he adores about you being a model is your model off duty outfits.

craig loves when you wear those open back dresses on a runway show.

he doesn’t use social media, he only uses them to stalk your instagram page. 🤭

goes feral when you wear black eyeliner in your waterline for the photo shoots.

he made an instagram account just to post pictures of you and nothing else, he just admires you so much.

he gets sooo happy and flustered whenever you mention him on interviews. he tries to act chill about it but he can’t help but fangirl over it.

people better not ask him about you because he can go on for hours talking about you and your modeling career.

he helps you to choose what pictures you should post for your instagram feed. it’s a hard work for him because he just can’t decide!

“you should post every single one of them, it’s so hard to choose when you look so gorgeous babe.”

you’re on a controversy? don’t worry baby craig will be your number one defender, problematic king will be fighting and trolling your haters on twitter threads. 😭

he’s the definition of “i hate everyone but you.”

he always haves that poker ass face but when he sees you his eyes light up immediately.

he loooves taking pictures of you.

whenever you feel nervous before a runway show he tries his best to comfort you. if he attends to one of your shows he just tells you that he will be on the crowd supporting you and that there’s nothing to be nervous about.

whenever he sees paparazzis approaching when y’all go out to the club he always guides you inside while holding firmly your hips and the small of your back, if it’s necessary he’ll beat the fuck out of the paparazzis if they approach closer. 🤭

“don’t worry baby, just ignore them and keep walking i’m right here with you.”

he’s soooo. 😩

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭.

#south park #south park headcanons #stan marsh #kyle brovlofski #craig tucker #south park x reader

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bellarkeselection · 4 months

Text

Our Little Kenobi

Request from @starvingbrokestudent Can you do a super sweet pregnancy fic with Obi Wan? Like the reader finds out she’s pregnant after fertility issues and Obi Wan is just so excited?! And how they try to keep it a secret from the council and eventually she has a baby boy?

This will be a mini series like you asked 😁

Rushing to the bathroom I didn't even get the chance to remove my lightsaber and my robe from my body because the sickness was coming on so quickly. Holding onto the toilet I puked what I had ate in my stomach feeling out of breath afterwards. This wasn’t the first time this had happened and it was the third time I had gotten sick. Wiping my hand across my mouth I gagged on the taste leaving the bathroom once I had finished. Finding my communicator out of my robe pocket I thought of the first person I could call who wouldn’t ask too many questions. “Padme, can you come to my room please?”

“Of course. Do you need anything specific?” She asked me appearing as a blue hologram.

Running my fingers through my hair with my freehand I whispered under my breath almost like somebody else was listening on the other side of the door. “Could you uh…could you bring me a pregnancy test. I can’t have the medical droids look I into this. They can’t keep a secret if there is something going on.”

“Sure, I’ll be right over.” She hung up the call making me more nervous just waiting for her to come over.

Pacing back and forth across the floor frantically trying to calm my nerves but it wasn’t working. This couldn't be happening to me. I was a Jedi knight and a leader of one of the clone armies. There was a war going on all on top of it. I heard three knocks on the door before I opened the door quickly. “Come in, Padme.”

“Here it is. Why exactly did you need one?” She asked and I knew that she would after she told me about her and Anakin sneaking around.

Taking it from her hands I went into the bathroom quickly doing the test since the waiting was killing me. Sitting on the toilet I just stared at the test in my hands thinking that my life was now screwed. “Padme, I'm going to be forced out of the order.” I croaked through tears feeling her presence in the doorway of the bathroom just watching me.

“I thought Jedi were encouraged to love. That's what Anakin told me.” She responded.

Lifting my head up I felt tears building up. “But you're sneaking around aren't you. It's exactly what me and Obi-Wan are doing…stars he's going to be upset over this.”

“Maybe he will want the baby.’ She tried being hopeful. “Wait a second I should be asking do you want it first?”

Dropping my gaze to the ground floor silence filled the entire room at that point. I didn't know how to answer her question. Being a member of the Jedi order meant that things like love, marriage, and children were out the window. Gripping my hair in my fingers I screamed dropping the pregnancy test on the floor at my feet. “I don't think I can do this, Padme. I can't…I'm not prepared to be a mother. I barely even remember my own parents after the council found me. And then there's Obi Wan…he…I have no clue what he will feel.”

“Have you ever talked about the possibility of having kids with him if you weren’t Jedi knights?” Padme came into the bathroom and sat down beside me on the floor.

Burying my face into my knees I croaked. “We took an oath, Padme. No marriage, no children, no possibilities of going to the Dark Side.”

“I’m sorry Y/n. But I am here for you and whatever you decide to do.” She placed a hand on my shoulder and we both just sat in silence with me thinking back to that night between Obi wan and I.

Opening the door, he walked towards the bed and dropped me down to the bed. My back hit the soft silk sheets before I rose up from the bed staring at him softly and brought a hand to his cheek stroking it softly. He leaned into my touch and brought my fingers to his lips, kissing them softly for a moment before releasing them. Standing tall, he lifted his shirt over his head and threw it to the ground. My heart began to beat for a second as I stared at him, my eyes directed down to his muscular chest, and blushed at the sight.

I averted my eyes with my hands covering them quickly and tried to contain my blush, he looked up at me and smirked at my reaction. “You don’t have to be embarrassed, Y/n. You can look if you want to.”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do…have you ever done this before.” I pointed out to him where I peeked through my fingers for a split second.

My hands started to trace his form, I began to run his fingers up and down his muscular chest softly while I began to feel his hand start to crawl underneath my shirt. He yanked my shirt off my head, throwing it to the ground only once breaking the kiss until I was not able to not joke with him at least once. “Woah….you look just wow.”

He glanced down at my clothed beasts staring at them deeply before reaching behind my back and began to unclip the straps off and tear it off me in a split second. I gasped at him instantly reaching a hand to cover my breast, he let out a growl at them pushing my hands away. “ Don’t hide from me, my darling. You are perfect.”

He hovered over me and brought his lips down upon mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and embraced more into the kiss. I felt a hard rock positioned at my lower religion, he placed his member at my center and looked up at me. “My love, this may hurt for a few minutes, I promise I'll go slowly. We can do this together, the both of us. Since….I haven’t done this before either. Are you sure you want this, I'll stop if you're not ready.”

“I want you. I want you, Obi.“ I said, gripping the bed sheets in my fingers, never moving my gaze from his. “ Please just go gently.”

Obi wan nodded his head slowly brushing some hair out of my face just admiring my face in the small light that was provided by the bedside lamp. “I want you just as much as you want me.”

Within moments I felt the pain suddenly vanish and began to feel pleasure. I began to move against him and leaned up pressing my lips down upon his. He embraced me back instantly when my fingers dug into his back. And that was the most enjoyable night of our lives.

I decided after a few days later to finally tell him what was happening. He deserved to know the situation so that we could figure out what to do next together. Standing out of his door I sucked in a shaky breath raising my fist and knocking three times on his door where it opened slowly for him to greet me. “Y/n, what can I do for you?”

“We need to talk…alone. If you have some time before our council meeting.” I almost whispered under my breath before he allowed me to come inside.

He shut the door behind himself, raising a brow. “What is going on, darling?”

“Did you remember the night we shared together? Well something I thought wouldn’t happen ended up actually happening.” Fiddling with my fingers in front of me I lowered my gaze to the ground trying to not show how terrified I was.

Obi wan was a much sharper Jedi then I thought I was though when he takes a few steps towards me. “Y/n, if something is making you nervous you can tell me. You know that right. So what is bothering you?”

“Obi, please don’t be upset. I already don’t know what I am going to do with the result. I can’t handle it if you rat me out and abandon me.” I lifted my head showing him my face was turning red with heavy tears coming down my cheeks.

Obi touched my shoulders, shifting his blue orbs down to my eyes. “Darling, please tell me what is wrong. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.”

“I….I’m pregnant.” I croaked out lowering my head into his chest sobbing. “I’m pregnant with your child.”

The Jedi master froze for a moment so unsure of what to say. He was in the same position as yourself. He knew that the council wouldn’t allow you to remain in the temple. Yet he slowly wrapped his arms around my waist holding me gently letting silence fill the room until he finally separated the hug. “I’m not going to leave you, Y/n.”

“Wait what…are you being serious?” I sniffed clinging onto the fabric of his brown cloak for strength and his arms were still around my waist holding me close to his embrace.

He moved one hand to cradle the side of my face feeling me lean into his palm when he replied longingly. “I said I won’t leave you because you're pregnant. I know the risks that it means for us. But I’d be the biggest idiot if I left you over something we both consented too.”

“You have no idea how much of a relief that is to hear you say that, Obi wan.” I chuckled through tears with such relief off my shoulders as I fling my arms around his neck hugging him tightly but gently.

He tightened his grip around my waist, burying his face into my loose hair. His heart skipped a beat at the realization that he would be a father, he was terrified since he didn’t remember his own much. Yet there was more joy in his mind than fear. “I have been considering this for a long time. I guess you finally gave me the courage to do so…”

“What are you talking about…omg.” I gasped covering my mouth watching him lower himself down on one knee directly before me.

He revealed a tiny black box from inside his brown robe, opening it showing me a simple silver ring that had three jewels in the middle of it. His bright blue eyes poured up into mine. “Y/n, I love you. I know that we are told not to get attached to one another but I couldn’t help it. You are everything that I never knew I wanted until we started spending time together. This baby doesn’t want me to run away from all of that. It makes me want to stay by your side even more. So will you marry me?”

“Oh Obi Wan….yes.” I giggled letting him slide the ring on my finger getting to his feet. He cupped my face in his hands kissing me for the first time in a few days. I leaned up on my toes kissing him back.

Comments really appreciated ❤️ Tag list - @iifloweringnightsii

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kooahae · 6 months

Text

After Last Night: Jungkook's announcement

Read the previous drabble here

The next chapter here by release date

Summary: Jungkook has something he'd like to share with his loved ones.

Pairing: best friends to lovers/established relationship,Jungkook X female reader

Warnings: mentions of drinking but other than that none :) super cute fluff this time around. and like usual ...they are so down bad for each other.<3

Word count: 2.3K

A/N: I promised one more fluff before the angst so just letting you know the next drabble will be a bit darker, but as always thank you for reading <3

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

If these last two months taught you anything, Nothing beats waking up to Jungkook. He smells good, always showers you with kisses, makes you breakfast, and makes you feel safe and warm. Today you noticed he’s being extra affectionate- which almost seems impossible given who you’re talking about. You can’t complain though, It feels super nice to be desired all the time and It’s even better when the person loves you as equally as you love them.

“Wake up baby.” Jungkook plants a kiss on your collarbone.

“I am up. You’ve been kissing me everywhere for like 15 minutes straight. I was just enjoying it.” You reply with a grin creeping onto your face.

Once you open your eyes, you’re met with a shirtless Jungkook hovering over you. You drape your arms around his neck to be greeted by the biggest grin on his face.

“We have stuff to do today!” Jungkook states, his excitement evident.

You Just nod- You do recall him saying his mom asked for you both to visit this weekend. You’re not surprised either. Jungkook is a serious mama’s boy. You understand though. No one is as cool as Mrs. Jeon, but back to what’s right in front of you. World’s most perfect boyfriend.

“You’re so pretty at every hour of the day.” He says cupping your face.

How could you not want to wake up to this every day?

“I love you.” You state and he smiles.

“I love you too. Come on gorgeous, let’s start our day.”

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

You’re finally finished getting ready, and you can tell you look great because Jungkook can’t stop complimenting you.

“I have the hottest girlfriend ever.” He says and you smile.

“You’re perfect and sweet, thank you, baby.” You respond, pecking him on the lips.

You’ll never get tired of that either.

“I’m gonna put bam in the car, then I’ll be back up to help you carry anything you may be bringing.”

You nod. As he walks out, you check your outfit one more time. Your top is just a basic crop shirt, your jeans are snatching you in all the right places and you picked the best pair of sneakers to match. You look great and casual. You don’t know why you’re so nervous either, you’ve known his family your whole existence. You’re just going there in an elevated role in Jungkook’s life, you’re still the same person they’ve known.

“Ready baby?” Jungkook’s voice rips you out of your thoughts. You nod yes and turn to him.

“Let’s go.” You say and flash him a smile.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

The car ride is almost a full two hours due to traffic, but Jungkook and you have been singing at the top of your lungs and pointing out the scenery on your way. He’s also been stealing kisses at every light and telling you how excited he is to see his family. You know Jungkook is his family’s shining star, so the feeling will be mutual for them. It always makes you smile to see them interact. Even more so, it makes you grateful to be cared about and included.

You notice you’re about 10 minutes away from his parent’s house, so you check the mirror and touch up your lip gloss.

“You look perfect baby, plus it’s just my family. You’ve known them forever.” He says gripping your thigh as he enters the driveway.

You gave yourself that pep talk earlier, it’s funny that it’s actually him saying it to you now- he’s right though!

“I know but I just can’t help the butterflies I feel.” You tell him truthfully

Jungkook parks the car and looks at you. “Are they because of me?” He says with a flirty smile.

They weren’t before but now…

“Yeah.” You say smiling at him.

“Yeah?” He asks one more time, raising an eyebrow still grinning and leaning in

But Bam’s barking interrupts you. -you almost forgot he was in the backseat. You both look and see he’s barking at Jin who is standing in the doorway.

“Come on pretty,” Jungkook says pecking your nose one more time as he opens the back door to let bam out-then yours. He makes sure he grabs your bag and his as well.

Jin is tackled by Bam before he can greet you both like he usually would. You would help him up but when Bam is this excited, there’s no stopping him.

“Have fun with that hyungie!” Jungkook states while smiling and laughing at his brother.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

“There’s my sweetheart!!” Jungkook’s mom yells out of excitement as she comes to hug you.

“Hi, Mrs. Jeon I’ve missed you so much!” You hug her back. You see his dad approaching as well.

“Just so beautiful and youthful!” She says placing a hand on your shoulder delicately.

“Um, what about me?” Jungkook pouts.

“My handsome boy!!” She yells mimicking the excitement she had speaking to you, causing you to chuckle.

You hug Jungkook’s dad and so does he then his mom asks for your help in the kitchen while he takes the bags to his bedroom.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

You and Jungkook’s mom have a great relationship. You always loved helping her cook dinner -one because Jungkook always comes into the kitchen super excited when dinner is done and, it taught you and Jungkook both how to cook. Secondly, nothing beats the little gossip sessions you always get to have with her before the boys come in.

You’ve been listening to her talk about Jin and his love life, she really wants to be a grandmother soon.

Mr. Jeon and Jin walk into the kitchen to sit in the bar area, so you guys stop the conversation- girl time is strictly girl time. Plus Jin would probably freak out and go on a rant about how having Jungkook as a little brother is room to not have a kid.

Everyone is just conversing and then Jungkook walks in.

“It’s so different being here instead of home isn’t it?” He says looking at you.

He’s so pretty. You nod your head in agreement.

“Oh, I knew there was something I wanted to ask about. We heard you moved back into the condo with Jungkook. What’s new with you since you’re single? Anyone pursuing our girl that I should be on standby about?” His dad asks.

Oh?

Single?

Last time you checked you’ve been in a relationship for two months…

You’re about to speak but someone beats you to it.

“Ahh, that’s why we are here!” Jungkook stands up and comes behind you moving the spatula you had in your hand and pulls you into him.

You tilt your head up at Jungkook furrowing your eyebrows- you’re still confused…

Didn’t his mom invite you guys?

She didn’t like Seojun, and from what you know about Mrs. Jeon, something you’ve known your whole life- she doesn’t pry too much unless it concerns someone’s overall well-being.

“I asked if we could come.” He says immediately looking down at you smiling. Rubbing his fingers over your eyebrows to smooth them down, a motion he does often. Telling you to stop worrying.

He also knows he would have been in for it if he was hiding the relationship from them.

“I wanted to tell everyone I have a girlfriend and that it’s someone everyone approves of.” He says pecking your lips.

“Mom, Dad..” He says looking up at them proudly with the biggest grin. Then he looks at you in the eyes.

“This is my girlfriend, She’s super smart, kind, and takes good care of me. I like taking care of her too. You guys will definitely approve” He says as if they don’t know you- he’s so cute. You can tell it was important to him to make an announcement in person. Which makes you feel good too.

Leave it to Jungkook to find a way to be outrageously cute.

“That is great news! Congratulations to you both!” Mr. Jeon says smiling widely

“Finally, now I can stop acting like I don’t know,” Jin says taking a sip of water, before he and Jungkook wink and send each other finger pistols.

“Sorry, it took so long for me to tell you,” he says once he realizes Jin just exposed what he knew first.

His mom? She’s super quiet…

“It has to be the best day of our lives…” She finally says.

“As parents, all we have ever wanted was for you to bring someone that’s at least half of her standard home…but it’s actually the best news I could ask for as your mom! My beautiful son has found an equally beautiful person.” She says grabbing your hand and nodding in approval.

“ And the best part is, she was here all along,” Jungkook says as he goes to embrace his mom.

“Let’s drink!” Mr. Jeon says excitedly.

You smile. This is your family too, always has been. You love it here.

“Highballs!” The males of the family shout in unison.

Yep- you’re definitely in good company.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

After a few drinks and eating together, you’re all sitting around telling stories.

“Who said the L word first?” His dad asks - he looks like he’s invested in the newest rom-com.

Jungkook smiles “Me! Do you know how long I waited to tell her? Practically my whole life.”

His dad just smiles and nods. “I was always telling your mom you both were completely smitten over each other. I’m glad to be right.”

“I said it first, I know our son!” She says lightly slapping his shoulder.

They’ve always been so playful with each other. You hope you and Jungkook stay like that too.

You all continue to play games and drink. Bam of course is making his presence known every few seconds he goes without attention from you and Jungkook.

Jungkook can tell you’re getting sleepy as you lean your head onto his shoulder while everyone continues to play the board game.

He tilts your head up with his finger under your chin.

“We can go to sleep after this, okay?” You smile lightly and kiss his dimple.

“Okay.”

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

“Goodnight everyone!” You yell as you and Jungkook walk up to his bedroom.

“Goodnight, see you in the morning for breakfast.” His parents say in response.

You’re so damn lucky you think to yourself. You already know what you’re walking into when you’re here and it’s one of the most comfortable atmospheres to be apart of, just like when you were younger.

Once you finally change into your pajamas and crawl into bed, you watch Jungkook remove his shirt and change into sweatpants before joining you. You immediately scoot closer to him

He looks you in the eyes as he brushes your hair out of your face.

“What are you thinking about baby girl?” He asks

“I haven’t been in your room in what feels like forever. Do you remember when we snuck out to that party in 9th grade? We really thought no one would notice us trying to climb into the window” You smile, tracing his tattoos as you lay your head on him.

“Yeah I do, I wanted to confess to you that night. I was so mad that we got in trouble. It ruined my proposal.”

“Oh yeah? How would you have told me?” You say and look into his eyes. After all these years, they still have that pure, one-of-a-kind sparkle- always tugging at your heart.

“Now that we are older. I was gonna ask in such a lame way. I prepared one of those singing cards that played a song and the ending just was me saying ‘Ahhh___ I like you. So like me back please’ ” You both laugh.

“I liked you then too. I would have said yes” You say reassuring him and his card idea from back then.

You both stare at each other, enjoying the silence but comfortable aura surrounding you.

You then notice Jungkook is thinking about something.

“Kook? What’s up?” You say lifting your head some more.

“About earlier, I’m sorry for not telling you baby. I just wanted to have a bragging moment.” He says smiling.

“Bragging?” You say and he nods his head confirming.

“Yeah. I didn’t mean for it to take you by surprise… it’s just that I have the prettiest, smartest, loyal, hard-working, sexy, fun, and loving girlfriend ever. Of course, It needed a big announcement. I brought the love of my life home with me.“ Jungkook’s cheeks are slightly red from the blush creeping up on them

You’re sure you look the same as you hover over him and kiss him.

“You’re always making me feel special,” you say. Jungkook feels his heart start to beat out of his chest.

“That’s all I wanna do.” He says reassuring you, leaning up into the kiss before he pulls you down with him.

“We aren’t home.” You remind him and he smirks.

“ I was going to behave, I promise.” He says as you reach to turn the light off.

“Let’s get some sleep.” You say nuzzling into his neck, but not before he can plant the soothing kiss on your lips.

“I love you, Goodnight princess.”

“I love you more, Goodnight baby.”

You and Jungkook fall asleep in the same room you used to when you were younger. You’re so happy that the same arms you get to wake up to are holding you as you slumber. You’re even more grateful his family took the news well. You had a really great day, and it’s all because Jungkook never falls short.

You make a promise to yourself to always make sure to treat him just as beautifully as he treats you.

Taglist: @joyfulwobblerhoagieegg @diorh0seokie @jennafromhome @taesungx @kimber-kook @whoa-jo @kaiparkerwifes @yoonglesbby07 @bangtansoneyondanfan

#jungkook #jungkook fic #jungkook x reader #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut #jungkook x y/n #jeon jungkook #jungkook fanfic #aln x kooahae #after last night x kooahae #jungkook x you #jungkook angst #bts #bts smut #bts jungkook

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vshthestmpede · 1 year

Note

Hi there!

Could we get some headcanons for vash, nick, and knives and what pet names they use for their s/o and how they would use them? Like in what situations they would use them? And what their s/o would call them in return?

Thank you 🫶🏻

the boys & their nicknames for their significant other

word count; 896

warnings; none, this is just some sweet stuff to alleviate the constant trauma our boys (and subsequently, we enjoyers) go through

note; i am such a damn sucker for cute nicknames, so this request was super fun to write!! tysm for requesting, i truly appreciate it <3 so sorry for the lack of things, covid has been kicking my butt lately on top of college ;-;

cross-posted to ao3

VASH

mayfly + lovebug

to make up for the lack of pda, vash makes sure you know how he cares by the way he calls for you

as soon as it starts, your real name is out the window and you're only to be called by the pet name he bestowed on you

you love the way it rolls off his tongue, like it was meant for you

started as a private thing as vash prefers to keep his love life under wraps but eventually became something he was proud to use in public amongst those he trusted

"good morning, mayfly."

you stretched the sleep out of your joints, blinking to adjust to the bright sunlight. vash had himself propped up on his forearms, twirling your hair around his fingers gently.

"sleep well?" he asked as you turned on your side to face him. he leaned forward and kissed your forehead as you nodded. "good. we don't have to leave for another hour or so, wanna snuggle?"

you responded by pulling him closer to you, burying your face in his chest. he wrapped his arms around you, his fingers lazily drawing shapes into your back.

"how'd you sleep, lovebug?" you murmured, voice still heavy with sleep.

vash grinned. "lovebug, hm? that's new."

you shrugged and readjusted, looking up at him. "well i thought with mayfly i needed to come up with something similar."

"fair enough, i like it." vash chuckled. "very creative. i slept okay, had a weird dream though."

"is that so? tell me all about it."

WOLFWOOD

my star + handsome

you never took wolfwood to take to romance or any of the cheesy aspects of being in a relationship

however, being a man who wasn't given any real love growing up, he craved it more than anything

of course, he'd never show it to the other three, so things like nicknames were saved solely for time between the two of you

you savored those times, enjoying the softer side of the undertaker

he would tell you how there were billions of stars in the sky yet only you were his, the brightest and most dazzling in his eyes

you pounded on the bathroom door, fed up. "c'mon, princess, i'm sure you look amazing now open the damn door!"

the door swung open and nicholas, hair still wet and messy, gave you the coldest stare behind his sunglasses.

"the hell did you just call me?" he asked, blocking you from moving past him. "no, no, no. you've never called me any sort of name before and now you just -"

"i'll keep calling you it if you don't let me use the damn bathroom," you snapped back, grabbing his arm and literally pulling him out of the bathroom. "thank you!"

coming out of the bathroom after finishing your business, you held back a laugh when you found nicholas sitting on the edge of the bed with his lips pressed into a tight frown. you flopped on the bed next to him, pulling him down with you.

"oh my gosh." you laughed as he turned away from you with a small 'hmph'. "c'mere, handsome."

instantly, he melted into your embrace, clearly much more pleased with the new nickname.

"that's better," he murmured.

"you're such a big softie," you chided playfully, brushing his hair from his face. "never change, okay?"

"yes, my star."

KNIVES

sunshine + sweetheart

if you thought it would take knives forever to even acknowledge the feelings you two shared, just imagine how long it took for him to take up on any sort of romantic gesture

you were at the helm in this voyage, showing him acts of affection first to egg him on

quickly you both learned he wasn't the biggest on physical touch but definitely enjoyed the whole concept of nicknames, something that made you stand above the rest even more to him

despite that, he found himself fighting on what he thought would fit you perfectly

you had cycled through the generic ones (babe, baby, etc.) but decided that sweetheart was the winner the way a goofy, almost childlike smile appeared on his face when you called him it the first time

knives refused any help on coming up with your nickname, demanding he figure it out himself

"i've got it!"

your head snapped up from your book as the piano playing suddenly ceased and knives stood, knocking the bench over at his abrupt movement.

"are you alright, sweetheart?" you asked, pushing yourself up out of your chair and heading towards him. he met you halfway, taking your hands in his excitedly. "what's going on in that head of yours?"

"you're my sunshine, (name)."

he had said it so happily, staring right in your eyes as he declared his newly thought of nickname. you felt your heart race at the simple gesture and the look on his face, basking in the joy that radiated off of him.

"i love it." your hands moved from his up to cradle his face. "what made you think of sunshine?"

knives leaned into your hand, proud of himself. "you just. . .you light up my life. you're so warm and caring, it's like you're if sunshine was a human."

your heart swelled at his kind words, this soft and sweet side of knives - albeit rare - was something you treasured and would always hold close to your heart.

#trigun knives #trigun stampede #vash the stampede #trigun #vash x reader #wolfwood x reader #nicholas d. wolfwood #nicholas d. wolfwood x reader #knives millions #millions knives #millions knives x reader

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princessleechan · 2 months

Text

"You're the Man" Profiles #1

Masterlist

⚽synopsis: After your university cut your soccer team to prioritize the men’s team, it’s natural you have a falling out with your then soccer-star-player boyfriend and impersonate your twin brother at the rival university to play on their men’s team. Wait, it’s not? Oh well.

⚽pairing: afab!reader x ot13 (??? Member)

⚽genre: humor, romance, crack, eventual smut

⚽series tags: MDNI, she’s the man au, revenge au???, cross dressing!reader, reader identifies anything but male, sports au, queer themes, university au, love-whatever the fuck kind of shape, tags will vary per chapter

⚽Tag list: @90s-belladonna @the-boy-meets-evil @lirtha97 @hipsdofangirl @justineasian @kwanisms @multi-kpop-fanfics @pantumin @wooahaeproductions @mayashu @shuasdraftsalt @lone-lone-ranger @headlockimnida @horanghaezone @haolistic @porridgesblog @jeonjungkaka @luchiet @salmisu @ujimatchaaa @skzdesi @cheoliehansolie @vlbii @myghobi @sisterofsomeone @joonsytip @gyublues @alltheshineofthestars-blog @randomworker @isabellah29 @savgogh @too-many-kpop-hubands @kotarousproperty @shingsoluvely @kamabokogonpachro @mxnhoeuwu @skittlez-area512 @seccdlurv @softycheol @chisskaa @mochiteez @theyluvfrankocean @lllucere @xyren1 @thomawifey

Y/n (reader): Sporty soccer babe with a shitty boyfriend (now ex) that finds supporting their soccer career as productive as watching paint dry. So, their take on revenge is joining the rival soccer team to prove only to him, but yourself, and any misogynist piece of shit that men aren’t the only guys that can play soccer like Beckham. You just needed an in on this team, a cover to join. Luckily, you had one numbnut brother who couldn’t care less about being around on his college campus and just so happens to be getting out of town.

Yeonam: Twin brother of Y/n. Uncannily similar looking to his sibling. Same height, similar build (besides the obvious breasts), but could not be more different from them. While you are the athlete, he’s the musician and typical rebel child with big dreams and a one-way ticket to Japan to perform with his rock band. He just needs someone to cover him while he does that.

Seokmin : ex-boyfriend to our main character. Plays soccer like a champion besides that one time that rival player hit his balls so hard with the soccer ball it made him cry and pee in pain for a month. Thinks he loves his then partner, but not enough to respect them as a fellow athlete or human being. Needs to be put in his place to learn the world does not revolve around him.

Mingyu: striker/center forward of his soccer team. Knows his way around a ball but not his way around his feelings for a pretty girl with eyes that sparkle like the night sky. Although he’s super conventionally attractive and sculpted like a motherfucking statue in a museum, he remains a humble and all round nice guy. He is confused though about why his new roommate looks like someone who belongs in anywhere but a soccer field.

Melli: Yeonam’s girlfriend and debutant, prettiest poison you’ve ever seen. She’s as pretty as she is nasty. Someone who thinks things should come easy to her and has never been told no in her life. Yeonam may be her boyfriend but that doesn’t mean she’ll change her attitude around you, even if you’re his twin. She has a way of getting what wants and nothing is too big getting in her way. She’ll grind it under her feet into sand.

Chae: Local campus cutie that’s confident in who she is and sees something in our main character. Something different about him, how sweet he is, how unlike the other guys he is. There’s a gentle masculinity she can’t comprehend and has to know–no, has to have. She must have this man, but why doesn’t he want her like everyone else? She knows she’s pretty enough, she knows she’s smart enough, she knows she's desirable enough. What will it take to have his attention?

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mysticmellowlove · 27 days

Note

Sub jock hcs 🙏🏻

I hate jocks ands that’s where this gets fun-

Jock that’s on a powerful position( typical quarterback because it’s the only position I know lol) and the girl who everyone is lowkey jealous of. Like richest girl in town but she’s not from the town her family just kinda can in and took over. She is super kind though and that’s why he began to like her. They’ve never even talked but he always notices her. Always. But…. She doesn’t like him. She’s nice to him of course but she isn’t into him how others are. He’s a jock- ew

note; anon sent in an inspo as well (here)!

warnings; fem reader, sub male, solo masturbation,

The streamers fell over him as he clapped his friends on the back, the last game of the season and they had just won it. Cheers and hollers surrounded him as their cheerleaders flooded the field and began their routines, sending kisses to the players as they clumped together in a mass of grass-covered sweaty boys.

His best friend slapped him on the back and grinned through his mouthguard, his head inclining towards the stands where he knew she'd be waiting. Always here for college cheer, the leader of the student spirit committee was the cutest, kindest girl in the world. She also happened to be a major crush of his. He pushed his friend away teasingly as he jogged over to her, watching her shake the pompoms she had been handing out before the game that sported their university colours.

He basically grinned as he took in her smile, her eyes soon locking onto him.

"Hey QB, great job today." She hummed as she looked up at him, his form easily dwarfing her own. He knew he was a big guy, it's why he was picked for the quarterback position. Tall and muscular, devilishly good-looking... he often had his friends say he exuded 'raw masculinity' whatever that was. The girls also loved him, fawning over him and chatting him up.

But it was unanimous around the university that he had eyes for one person only, the one person he just couldn't seem to snag. She had moved here from a rivalling uni about a year back and had been a ray of sunshine ever since. She was the leader of the cheer committee and basically lived for setting up student union events. She was at every sports game, concert and exhibition.

She really was like an angel sent from above.

"Thanks, me and the boys are going out for celebratory drinks later on, you interested?" He grinned as he leaned against the stands, willing her to look his way for just a moment. To nod and give him a chance. She smiled that sweet little smile as she shook her head.

"Sorry, I have some module work I need to get done. I just had to come over and support our boys." He willed the flush in his cheeks to go down as he referred to him as her boy, even if it wasn't exactly what she had meant. He swallowed his disappointment but nodded anyway.

"Alright, good luck then. I'll see you sometimes on campus anyway." He shot her a heartwarming smile before he crawled his way back to the others, heart doing flips in his chest. This was usually how their interactions went. She was a lovely girl, so kind and open but it was clear she wasn't interested. He knew she liked the scholarly type more, her friend group reflected as much. He didn't like to admit it but he was a little bit of an airhead, but that's what had drawn people to him.

He knew others called him a 'golden retriever' which by his understanding meant he was lovable and energetic. But she seemed to like the stoic type and he couldn't bring himself to change... maybe one day when they were older something would happen between them. He wasn't going to be the star quarterback forever after all.

"Hey man, we're heading toward Joey's, gonna bring some of the girls along. You down?" His friend came up to him and they shared a clap.

"I would but I have something on later, I'll meet up tomorrow yeah?" He laughed as others gathered around him, booing playfully. Soon enough they relented and he watched as they filed towards the lockers, he'd be following as well but he wanted to help out his coach with the equipment first.

In reality, he was simply stalling time, he wanted the showers to himself after all. Packing up was nothing for him, mainly because there wasn't anything to do but it served its purpose. When the coach let him go he made his way to the lockers and grinned at their vacancy. Now he'd not only have the space to himself but the showers would actually be hot.

He shucked off his gear and stepped under the relaxing spray, just hot enough to relax his muscles. He flicked his hair back from his face and doused it in a small amount of shampoo he kept in his pack. As he let the water and suds run down him his mind began to wander.

Frustrated he leaned his head against the cool wall of the stall, his hand unwillingly going to cup his hardening cock. Every time she let him down easy he'd get hard, as if it was like magic. He was so down bad for her it was insane. And yet he couldn't bring himself to move on. So long as he was able to see her on campus he knew he'd keep fantasising about her like this.

Sure it made him feel dirty but the sheer amount of pleasure overrode anything in his mind. Never before was he able to get himself off like this thinking about others. He tried the porn, tried the mags and even his own imagination but everything looped back to her. What would she look like as he plunged into her? Would she look good in pink or red lingerie? What would her voice sound like as she scolded him for thinking of her like this?

That's how it began, he had noticed a shift in his preferences. All his friends would point at the smallest things around but his mind would be on her. It was innocent at first, her riding him as he held onto her hips but soon.... soon it changed. Her forcing him to lay down as she perched herself on his face, making him surrender before her so she could please herself first.

His tie and satin bows turned to handcuffs and ropes. His dick inside her turned to her hand wrapped around a toy she was teasing him with. Making her cry out his name turned into her making him a whining, sobbing mess.

"Fuck." He hissed as he realised he had been jerking himself off all this time, his hand wrapped furiously around his cock. God what he'd do to have her in this position. Her hand stroking him as he fought to stop his legs from buckling.

A drawn-out moan left him as his eyes rolled to the back of his head, just the thought of her had him wanting to cum.

It really was insane the hold she had on him...

#love for anon #sub male #dom reader #fem reader #drabble #ask

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endthedream · 8 months

Text

a sweet melody

pairing: siren!haechan x human!reader (she/her)

summary: Insanity isn’t what she expected to receive when she joined her father and his crew on an expedition, full of men who think she isn’t capable of anything. But it’s all that she got after seeing nothing but endless water every single day. Maybe that’s why her mind started imagining a strange boy who finally shows her the appreciation she deserves. Maybe that’s why she ignores the way she can’t escape the trance he puts her in whenever he sings a melody for her. Or maybe everything is real, and the boy isn’t who he pretending to be.

words: 12.5k

story colour: green

some warnings:

it’s angst, the word “killing” gets mentioned a few times but nothing happens, heavy manipulation

masterlist of ‘nct dream as super natural creatures’

August 2nd, 1878

Day 25 on sea

I don’t remember the feeling of solid ground under my feet. Grass under my toes, touching stone walls or sleeping in a soft bed that isn’t rocking from the waves crashing against the ship.

I don’t remember the taste of air that isn’t filled with salt. The taste of anything other than fish.

I don’t remember not being nauseous every day, not fighting against boredom, not having to talk to myself in order to stay sane. Having to remind myself that I am me and this expedition isn’t pointless and could possibly make us rich until the day we die.

Father told me to write down my thoughts, he senses that I’m slowly losing my mind. But how can’t I? All I see, day and night, are endless expanses of water. No land in sight. We are miles and miles away from civilization. Alone with the sea and what lays beneath it. That thought can be frightening sometimes.

My brother called me a wimp, told me I should have just stayed at home and let the men handle it. I think he is the one who is a wimp. He’s scared of the power women can hold in a world that is overpowered by men. He doesn’t want me here, thinks I belong only at home like the other women in our city. But I don’t believe that even for one second. I have so much more potential than cooking and taking care of children. I’m an explorer, an adventurer, a researcher. I belong exactly here with my brother, my father and his crew.

I am so much more than all of them point me out to be and I know I can prove exactly that to them. I can prove that women can do all things men have been doing for years, maybe even better. I will prove it, even if it makes me go insane.

August 7th, 1878

Day 30 on sea

I miss my mother. I miss her comforting words, her warm arms and the smell of her perfume. Father misses her too. We talked last night while watching the waves under the moonlit sky. He told me he thinks she is watching over us, protecting us from unknown dangers. He told me that he thinks she is proud of us, especially me, for having the courage to explore the sea. I think he is right. Mother would have loved for us to do the things she always dreamt of doing. Exploring. She always wanted to know what lays beyond the sea, know the secrets behind it and write it all down.

Mother was the creative one in our family. She wrote poems, drew beautiful paintings and crafted useful things out of our waste. There was nothing she couldn’t do, no challenge she couldn’t face. I admired her for that, looked up to her and wanted to be like her. Father says that sometimes he sees a bit of her in me, a bit of her creativity leaking out of my aura, but most of the time I am like him. A big pighead who is way too nosy for their own good. But he also said that this trait will help me on our journey.

“We need people like you.”, he spoke as he looked into the sparkling reflection of the stars on the water. “People who are brave and people who are inquisitive. People who don’t stop when it gets too much and get driven by the passion of wanting to know what lays beneath the unknown. That’s why I want you here.”

“But why did you bring my brother as well? He is nothing like that.” My comment made him let out a quiet laugh, a sound I haven’t heard from him in a while.

“Because he can fight. We need people like that as well.”

Our talk was over after that. He went to sleep, and I stayed up, watching the stars in the dark night sky and thinking about his words. Does he really want me here or is he just being nice to me because I’m his daughter? The others on the ship are not shy to express their dislike for me. I’m not taking it to heart since they care more about my gender than my capabilities. But I care about my father’s opinion. I care what he thinks about me being on this ship with him and if he thinks that I should have stayed at home like everyone else is telling me.

I hope he didn’t lie to me. I hope that his words were sincere, and he actually wants me to be here. Because I think it would shatter me if he didn’t.

I figured I should talk more about my current mental state. Every day I try not to show how much it affects me that even though there are so many people on this ship, I’m still alone. No one wants to talk to me, no one cares about my opinion, and no one wants me here. I spend most of the day watching the ocean, listening to the waves and the birds stopping by. When I see something, an animal or even just seaweed, I write it down and draw a picture of it. It helps me a bit, I think, but I’m not quite sure.

Yesterday a boy, his name is Jisung, let me help him prepare a fish. It was the first time someone had spoken to me without throwing an insult at my head. I haven’t seen him much around the ship since he spends most of the time in the kitchen with his father. But he seemed nice enough, even though as soon as another crew member approached us, Jisung ran away from me, not wanting to be seen with the “intruder”. I wasn’t offended by it, at least I got to eat a nice fish for dinner.

But I’m wandering again. My mental state. I do think I’m getting a bit… well, crazy. But who isn’t? Everyone on this ship is going through the withdrawal of feeling solid ground under their toes and seeing anything other than salt water every single day.

I think we all are slowly losing it.

August 15th, 1878

Day 38 on sea

The air was nice today. It smelled fresher than before, kind of like we entered a new world overnight.

It just felt so clean.

Maybe that’s exactly what I needed, some fresh and clear air, something that removed the mess inside of me as well. Father said that fresh air always helps with an occupied mind. I guess his thesis has been proven right.

I should listen to him more.

He is old and keeps to himself most of the time, but when he actually does talk, it has an impact. Just yesterday two of the men on the boat accidently- in a drunken manor- knocked over two wooden boxes full of fish we haunted, leaving us with not much left. Father was furious, I could tell by the look on his face, but he kept his calm image. He went up to the two men and instead of screaming, he just stared at them for a few minutes. I think his eyes were what intimated them the most.

“You realize what you just did?”, he asked them, and I never heard his voice being so cold. They just nodded their heads, eyes widened like they were deer’s getting hunted by a wolf. “You realize what that means for the two of you?” Hesitation lingered in their demeanor. Clearly, they didn’t know what consequences followed their stupid mistake.

“Since you prevented us from having a week stock of fish, I’m going to do the same to you. That means limited access to food, no alcohol anymore and you are going to clean the boat from front to back. I want to see it spotless. Are we clear?” Again, their heads nodded faster than the wind blowing my hair away. They hurried off after being dismissed, leaving me standing there as father let out a long sigh.

It must be hard, having to be in charge of a bunch of grown men who act like children. And it must be hard seeing your own children having to face some of their own hardships as well. I’m not saying my brother is having a hard time on this ship, I’m saying in general. Someone filled with that much piled up anger, like my brother, must have some troubles they can’t communicate themselves.

It’s not like I have never tried. Talking to him, I mean. I did, plenty of times. But he never listens. And he never talks. I think it is the masculinity they force upon boys these days. It starts in school when they are just little fellows and continues all the way into adult hood. It teaches them not to cry, to hide their emotions and be strong.

I think that is stupid. I think that as human beings we were created to show our emotions. It’s our darn right to let ourselves feel everything freely without having to hide it.

But my brother is taking it seriously, says that the people in school would make fun of him if he’s showing weakness. Weakness. That is stupid. I think that hiding your emotions and building up this wrong image in which you hide behind a made-up strength, is what makes you weak.

I told him that and he just said: “And that’s why you’re a woman. You wouldn’t survive a minute being a man.”

And you wouldn’t survive a minute being a woman either. But I didn’t say that. I didn’t want to make him more upset, and I especially didn’t want to start a discussion about men and women with him. It is pointless, because no matter what I say, he will never see us as equals.

I wish I were closer to my brother. I wish he wouldn’t have to think about all this stupid stuff. And I wish I could live in a world where I could freely express myself without having to justify my every move.

I wish, I wish, I wish.

August 19th, 1878

Day 42 on sea

We saw dolphins today. They were swimming right beside our ship, jumping high up into the air and whistling at us. It was a magical moment, watching them happily swim, eager to interact with us. I even got to draw a picture of them. And for a moment I forgot that my mind is constantly spinning in a spiral. I just sat there, enjoying the short moment of peace, before it got destroyed.

Some of the men on the ship, clearly drunk, threw bottles at the dolphins, slurring insulting words at them. The dolphins swam away shortly after, but the bottles stayed where they threw them, in the ocean. I was so mad that I went up to one of the men, yelling some pretty mean words as well.

“Are you out of your mind, you drunk filthy piece of shit? Not only did you hurt poor helpless animals that were clearly eager to interact with us, but you also polluted the ocean with your stupid bottles of alcohol. Are you really that messed up in your head to think this was a good idea? I don’t even get why you are on this god forsaken ship. You are clearly not good for anything other than drinking your days away and only caring about yourselves. And you call yourself a man. You are nothing but a pathetic little boy, wanting everyone’s attention. You disgust me, you pig.”

I can’t remember much afterwards, only the stinging feeling against my cheek, a foot against my rip cage and someone yelling to stop. I woke up not long ago. The ship is quiet, so I assume it’s already in the middle of the night and everyone is sleeping, but I’m too scared to look. My body hurts, every time I move only a slight bit, a crushing pain curses through my bones.

When I close my eyes, everything is spinning, so I don’t close my eyes anymore.

I don’t regret what I said to that man. I don’t regret standing up to myself. I had to endure a worse treatment for a longer time and could handle it. It is not my fault that he couldn’t handle a bit of critique. All I hope is that this pain will go away soon. The pain inside and outside.

I’ve been thinking, maybe a bit too much. What if I change my way of thinking? What if instead of letting the ocean hurt me, I will let it heal me? What if instead of letting the loneliness consume me, I will let it lead me? Maybe all I have to do to get better is to change the way I approach this expedition.

And now that I have written it down, I will have to do it. My mother always said words only count when you write them on a piece of paper. In that way it is like a contract, unbreakable. It is like an oath you swear only to yourself, and those should be the most precious ones. She said you should always keep the promises you give to yourself, because after all, at the very end you will always have yourself to count on. Mother was a wise lady. A wise and confident woman, that I always looked up to. She was never afraid to speak her mind and stand up for her beliefs, I admired that side of her so much. And I know my dad also admired that.

Sometimes I forget that he lost his wife, I forget that he is still grieving. Because it looks so easy for him. It doesn’t look like he is compulsively taken of on a ship to “explore the unknown” just to get away from home and the recuring memories of the woman he loved so dearly. It looks like he created a team of the best- that’s arguable- men out there and took of to explore. He looks like a hero, not a broken man.

He hides everything so well. I wish he would have taught me how to do that.

August 20th, 1878

Day 43 on sea

Dad told me not to move too much. He thinks my rips are badly bruised and I need a few days, maybe even a few weeks to heal. We don’t have a qualified doctor on this ship, so I am just putting ice on my ribs and hope they will magically heal.

My brother even came to my room to ask me about my well-being. That was the last thing I expected to be quite honest with you. My brother and I have never had the best relationship. He was never a reliable soul, always easily influenced by others. He is a follower not a leader and that shows in the way he behaves towards others, especially towards me.

“Are you fine?”, he asked me, voice unusually soft. I could see it in his eyes, the pity that lies in them. It looked like he actually cares.

“Forgetting the circumstances, yes, I am fine.” He let out a long and deep breath, a hand stroking back a piece of hair that fell into his eyes. I should have asked him if I should cut his hair for him.

“Okay.”, he just answered, nodding his head before standing up again. “If you need anything, just call for me.” Without looking at me again, he left the room. All I could do after that was smile. It was the first encounter since we were kids that didn’t end up with me wishing I would never have to talk to him again. He may not know how to express what he is really feeling and is scared of voicing his own thoughts, but this small conversation showed me that he may not be all too bad.

August 25th, 1878

Day 48 on sea

I am going crazy. I sit on my bed every single day. I draw, I write, and I stare at the wall.

I can feel my thoughts circle around my brain, nothing makes sense. No one visited me in the past two days, and it makes the urge to get up even worse. I didn’t really have someone to talk to from the beginning, but at least I got to be around some living beings. I didn’t have to bear my own thoughts for such a long time. Now I’m not only alone, but I’m also lonely as well.

I had a nightmare last night. I dreamt about the ship sinking. It was absurd because the men drunk too much and their bellies got so bloated, it made the ship sink. But that wasn’t the frightening part. As I tried to swim for safety, my arms already hurting, I started hearing voices. Not just two, must have been a hundred of them. All of them whispering to me, but I couldn’t understand what they were trying to tell me. I kept swimming and swimming, far behind I saw hills. The voices didn’t stop. It felt like they were entering me, taking over every part of my body. My head felt like it was about to explode into a million pieces. They got louder and louder until I couldn’t take it anymore. I stopped swimming, letting myself sink. The water engulfed my whole body, entering my mouth and filling my lungs. The voices got quieter and quieter until there was only one left, loud and clear, telling me to “wake up”.

That’s when I opened my eyes, sweat dripping from my forehead and my breath uncontrollably fast. I never had a dream like that. I never woke up so disorientated. I wanted to tell someone about this dream, have someone explain to me what the meaning behind it is. I wanted to know if I’m really losing my mind.

August 27th, 1878

Day 50 on sea

I am losing my mind.

This can’t be real. I am writing this down to make sure I am wide awake and not dreaming.

I woke up from a noise. At first, I thought I was imagining it, because lately I’ve been imagining a lot of things. I wanted to go back to sleep, being exhausted from, well, doing absolutely nothing all day long, but then I heard it again.

It wasn’t just a noise. It was a melody, a very beautiful one. It sounded like the gateway to heaven, like it was sung by angels. And it made me feel drowsy.

I knew I needed to rest more, but something about this melody pulled me in. It made me forget the throbbing pain in my body and the events that happened days before. All it made me want to do was reach it, engrave it into my skin. It made me want to never hear anything else.

I was in a trance, no thoughts inside my head anymore.

So, I got up, walked out onto the deck of the ship to find out where this melody comes from. But when I reached the deck, I didn’t expect to see a boy sitting on the railing.

But it wasn’t an ordinary boy. Oh, no. Not like the ones I’ve seen in my town growing up. I can’t describe him in any other way than captivating. His jet-black hair softly swayed in the night wind, covering his eyes every few seconds. His cheeks adopted a soft rosy color from the coldness, contrasting the tan of his skin. And his eyes were almost as dark as the night sky.

I don’t know why I stared at him for such a long time, and I don’t know why he let me.

“You’re here.” Those were his first words. The first time I heard his voice. A voice that made time stop for a moment. I couldn’t hear the waves crashing against each other anymore, or the cracking of the old wood the ship was built with. I couldn’t even hear my heartbeat pumping against my chest. All I could hear was him. “I was waiting for you.”

“Who are you?” That was not what I wanted to ask him at that moment, but the sane part of my brain must have sensed that something wasn’t right. Something about the way my body reacted to this strange man was dubious.

“Haechan.”, he spoke with a soft voice, turning his body so that he fully faced me. A smirk was placed on his lips, only intensifying his tantalizing physique. “And you are?”

“Y/n.” My name came out in a mere whisper, fearing that my voice might have broken if I spoke any louder. I couldn’t stop staring at him, still having been sure that my mind was playing a trick on me or, well, still is.

For days no one has checked in on me, no one has talked to me more than five words. I’ve been on this ship for way too long seeing nothing but the endless nothingness of the sea. My mind has been plagued with recuring thoughts, never once having a quiet moment. Maybe this is the final sign. Maybe this is it. I am insane. So insane that I’m imagining a boy sitting on the rail of the ship just so that I have someone to talk to.

“A beautiful name for a beautiful girl.” Reaching one hand out, the boy signaled me to come closer to him. Every part of my body longed to take his hand and sit on the rail with him, but doubts started floating my brain.

“What are you doing here? How did you get on this ship?” Haechan, as I learned his name, just chuckled, a low sound that was so different from his honey voice. He looked amused at my asking, almost like he was making fun of me.

“Why did you come out here, Y/n?” I remember frowning at him, clearly feeling upset that he chose to ignore my question and ask one of his own. I felt upset that this boy, which I probably made up in my mind, didn’t show any respect for me at all. He, just like the others, ignores what I have to say, and I didn’t want to get treated that way, not after what happened last time.

So, instead of answering him, I turned around, heading back to my bed. But before I could even take a step, the melody I heard earlier started again. All the thoughts that I had in my mind at that moment flew away and I was, yet again, caught in a trance. It was like I couldn’t escape, even if I wanted to.

“It’s you.”, I whispered, but he still heard me. I knew that because the melody got louder, clearer. I closed my eyes, letting his voice enter every part of my body. I let it fill me up and shut me down at the same time. I let it rearrange my mind and mend my wounds, but I also let it cut me open and bleed me dry. I gave myself into the sweet penetration of his honey laced voice and wanted nothing more than to make all his wishes and desires come true. I would have given him the world if it was possible. My whole body felt like it was floating on top of a cloud, high up in the sky and there was no way of ever coming down again. I was trapped.

“Come closer.”, he murmured, voice deeper and almost impending.

“No.”, I quivered, suddenly scared of ever opening my eyes again.

“Please, Y/n.”, he pleaded, and I could nearly hear the desperation in his voice. “Just please look at me.” And so, I did. He was not sitting on the rail anymore, he was standing right in front of me. A small smile on his lips and one hand stretched out to me. “Come closer please. I don’t want anything else from you.”

And as I was about to take the step towards him, give in to his demand and the growing need inside of me to grant all his wishes, I heard a voice behind me, calling out my name and breaking the trance I was in.

“Y/n?”

Turning around, I saw my brother standing further away from me, dressed in his nightly gown. “What are you doing out of your bed? You should rest, your body isn’t fully healed yet.”

“I was just talking to…” But when I looked for Haechan again, no one was standing there anymore. It was like I was alone all along. “I don’t know what I was doing.”

Suddenly I felt all the pain rush back into my body, my bones burning with fire, and I let out a loud groan as I fell to my knees.

“Y/n.” My brother rushed towards me, helping me up with his arms around me. “For someone who always seems so smart, you really aren’t the brightest.” I couldn’t even laugh at his words, my mind was too focused on the pain all over my body.

“You must have been sleep walking if you can’t remember what you were doing up there.” My brother said as he laid me back down into my bed and reached into a bucket of water to put a wet rag on my forehead. “Sleep now, okay? I will stop by in the morning again and check on you.” All I could do was nod my head at him, exhaustion consuming my body. He looked at me one last time before he left my room again.

And now I’m sitting here, writing in my foolish dairy and reminiscing about the strange boy I met. I must have imagined him. How could anyone come up onto the ship? I didn’t see another boat, nor did any other member of the crew. And the possibility of someone appearing out of the blue is also not likely.

The only possibility that is left is that I am losing my mind. That I imagined all of it out of pure loneliness and frustration. This expedition should have been educational for me. It should have proven to all the men that I, as a woman, can do what they can do. That I can be an explorer, a brave one even, and that I have the ability to find something new. That is why we started this journey, because we wanted to discover unknown things.

But all I am doing now is proving everyone exactly what they think of me, that I am small and weak. That I am not an explorer and that I should have just stayed at home. That I am not brave and definitely not smart. I proved to them that I am fragile and well, mental.

But no one has to know about it. No one has to know what happens in my head or the things I imagine. No one has to know I am practically insane and desperate. I could just simply fake it. Isn’t that what everyone does? Faking confidence.

Maybe if I fake it long enough and convince everyone that what they are saying and thinking about me is wrong, I might convince myself as well. Maybe I can convince my brain I’m fine while pretending to be.

So, from now on, everything’s okay. I am not insane, and I certainly am not imagining weird things.

I am okay.

Everything is okay.

August 29th, 1987

Day 52 on sea

Everything is not okay.

Yesterday the boy didn’t show up again. I wasn’t exactly looking for him, since my father spent most of the night in my room making sure I wouldn’t ‘sleep-walk’ again, but I can’t lie and say I wasn’t disappointed not to hear his beautiful melody again.

I asked my dad if there is a word for the feeling of craving for someone, for feeling like the person took a part of you with them when they left and you long to be reunited with them. When all your thoughts are consumed with them, and your body is itching to be in the mere presence of that person. But also fearing the actual return of that person and the power they hold over you and your emotions. He told me it is called “withdrawal”.

“It is mostly referred to drugs such as alcohol.”, he explained to me as he tried to brush out the knots in my hair. “But I think it can be applied to humans as well. You know, sometimes we long for people we can’t have or people that aren’t good for us. We see the signs, but we ignore them. We give in to the sweet yearning and get hurt in the process. But if we don’t give in and the yearning grows stronger, we crave it even more. We think about the person every day, imagine their scent, their eyes, their voice. We imagine them being in a room with us, talking and laughing with us. We do the things that are most painful to us just to have what we long for, even if we know it’s not good for us. And it hurts, physically and emotionally.”

I turned around to look at him, inspect his face and read what he was feeling when he said those things. “It sounds like you have experience with that feeling.” My father just shrugged and at that moment he looked older. He looked like an old man who has been through too much in his life. A man who deserves a break.

“I’ve been around much longer than you, dear. There were mistakes made and hearts torn, but it all worked out at the end.”

“How?”, I ask, curious as to how such a sad feeling still turned into something good.

“Because I got you, and your brother. That’s my happy ending.” I wanted to cry. I wanted to storm into his arms and never let him go. But I didn’t do any of those things. I just smiled at him, nodded my head and hoped that was enough for him. Because while his words filled my heart to the brim with love, my body still ached, not from the pain but for the boy I only met once in my life.

That’s why I tried to ignore the melody a few hours ago when it started again. Father went back to his bed a few minutes before, wanting to get some well-deserved sleep, leaving me alone in my room. I, as well, wanted to get some rest, but then I heard it. It was loud and clear, and more beautiful than I had remembered it to be. Almost immediately I felt my whole mind switch, forgetting the conversation I had had with my father. All that was in my head was him, Haechan.

I wanted to see him, no, I needed to see him. I felt lost without him, so empty and incomplete. I felt like my world wasn’t spinning correctly, time was going backwards, and the stars were falling out of the sky. Nothing felt right anymore. Not until I was with him.

I reached my door, but before I could open it something woke me up. Not from a dream, but from a trance. A smell, a very familiar one. It took up all my senses and brought me back to reality.

I realized what I was about to do and quickly sat back down on my bed, not daring to even set a foot on the floor anymore. It was frightening, what I felt just then. The longing I felt, just from one simple melody. I don’t know this boy, why would I feel so strongly about him? Why does he have so much power over my emotions?

His melody got louder. For a moment my head felt like it was exploding. He sounded sad, sorrowful. It broke my heart into pieces hearing him so vulnerable, longing for me the same way I was longing for him. But I didn’t give in. A part of me, I don’t know which one, knew it was wrong to see him again. So, I stayed on my bed, legs tightly pressed against my chest and my hands on my ears, trying to cover his despairing voice.

10 minutes ago, it stopped. It just went away, like it was never there in the first place. Curiosity almost got the best of me and wanted to check if he really left, but I was too scared, I still am.

I don’t know what he is doing to be, why he is here and why he is targeting me. But I know that whatever he is doing, it can’t be with good intentions. A person that makes another person feel such outrageous things, can’t be here for anything good.

Maybe it shouldn’t matter so much. Because, after all, I made him up. He isn’t real so whatever he is doing isn’t going to hurt me. I think my mind is reflecting this pain on me to make sense of why it’s slowly decapitating. It’s trying to distract me from the actual damage in my brain.

At least that is the only logical answer to all of this. Because anything other would be, well, crazy and I’m not crazy. I might lose my mind, but I am not crazy.

August 30th, 1878

Day 53 on sea

Maybe I am a bit crazy, and reckless, and irresponsible and plain stupid.

“You left me standing here for a long time yesterday. I missed you, darling.” But I couldn’t help myself but visibly relaxing as I heard his voice again.

It was all I could think about all day long. Him and his melody. I wanted to feel it again. Feel it in my veins, feel it shutting out all the thoughts in my head. I just wanted this bothering craving to go away. I think it got so bad that even Jisung, someone who barely talks to me, noticed it.

“Are you okay? Don’t you like the food?”, he asked as he watched me stare at the food in front of me.

“Oh, sorry. It’s not the food, don’t worry. I just didn’t get much sleep last night.” I gave him a little smile, grabbing a fork and shoving some food in my mouth.

“Is there a reason behind it? I hope it wasn’t me.” Jisung looked a bit guilty as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I spent the whole night cooking because I also couldn’t sleep. I hope I wasn’t too loud and kept you awake.”

“Oh, so that was what I smelled yesterday.” Internally, I couldn’t help but to be grateful for the boy sitting in front of me. After all, was he the reason why I didn’t give in to see Haechan. But I couldn’t tell him that. I was already glad someone decided to speak to me, I didn’t want to ruin it by my insanity. “But no, that was not what kept me up. I mean I smelled it, but I just had too much going on inside my mind to rest.”

The boy just nodded his head, shoving a fork full of food in his mouth. “Care to share some of your thoughts?”, he says with his mouth still full of food. He looked like a child in that moment, with his eyes wide and his mouth dirty with crumps.

“Just thinking a lot more about my mother lately.”, I told him, only half lying. Mother has been on my mind a lot lately, but that obviously wasn’t the reason why I couldn’t sleep. “I miss her. I mean I always miss her, but being so far away from home just makes me miss her more. You know, I see her everywhere. In the books I read, the words I write. I see her in the ocean, feel her in the air and smell her in every scent. It’s bizarre.”

“No, it’s not.”, Jisung disagreed, putting his fork down and propping his elbow up on the table to lean his face on his hand. “I miss my mother too. I mean, she isn’t dead, but her and my father are no longer together. She left with my sister, my father kept me, and I haven’t seen her in three years. I miss her too sometimes. But I think I miss the things she did for me more than I miss her. When I was a child, I always had trouble falling asleep so she would always tell me a bedtime story. I think that is why some nights I can’t seem to fall asleep.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that, Jisung. Next time you have trouble sleeping just get me. I can also tell you bedtime stories.”

He nodded yet again, showing me another one of his smiles. “Thank you, Y/n. And you know what? I think you are really brave. I wanted to say that to you earlier, but I never had the guts to actually do. I think that we can all be grateful that someone like you joined this expedition. We really need more smart crewmates on this ship.”

But I don’t think I am that smart anymore. I don’t think I even deserve to be called smart anymore. Because every single thing about the decisions I make is anything other than smart. And as I looked into the deep brown eyes of the boy in front of me, that only got confirmed.

“No answer? No ‘I missed you too’?” His voice had an alluring tone, soothing all the wounds inside me and doing things to my body I am too embarrassed to admit. “What a shame, sweet girl. I was pretty sure I could sense your longing for me yesterday. Maybe I was wrong.”

I didn’t know what to answer. And I honestly am glad I didn’t, positive that my voice would have come out in nothing but a pathetic whisper. Haechan was walking closer to me again, reaching his hand out again to hover over the skin of my arm but never touching me.

“Can you feel that?”, he whispers, eyes never leaving mine. “Can you feel the goosebumps slowly forming on your skin, the shiver down your spin?” He waited for me to answer him, but all I could do was nod. “Words, sweetheart.”

“Yes.” I answered him, voice cracking with that one simple word. “Yes, I can feel that.”

“Good. That is exactly what I want you to feel.” He took a few steps back again, so he was leaning against the railing. “Why did you decide to come here tonight? Couldn’t get enough of me?”

I just shrugged my shoulders, not really knowing myself what the actual reason behind me coming to see him again was. “Why do you keep calling for me?”

“Calling for you? How exactly am I calling for you?” Cocking his head to the side, still wearing a smirk on his lips. But I don’t want to get too detailed about his face, still feeling a bit embarrassed of the things I felt in that moment.

“The melody your singing, it’s for me. You are calling me with your melody.” A chuckle left his lips, melodic like his voice.

“How can you be so sure of that? What if I just like to sing pretty melodies?” His question sounded so innocent and for a moment I was uncertain about my statement, fearing I might have misinterpreted everything. But I knew what I was feeling. I knew that his melody was meant to be for me and no one else. I know it might sound crazy, but the thought of him singing this melody, my melody, for someone else felt unsettling.

“Because if you sung it for someone else, they would stand here instead of me. No one else is responding to your melody, only me, so it must be for me.” For a few seconds there was nothing but silence around us. Haechan wasn’t saying a thing, seeming like he was thinking about his next words. And I didn’t say anything, fearing that if I might, he would disappear again.

“You’re right.”, he finally spoke up. “It is for you.”

“But why? Why do you sing this melody for me?”

“Because I wanted to meet you, Y/n. From the moment I first saw you, I knew I got to have you. I got to be with you. I craved nothing more than to talk to you, to simply be blessed to be in the mere presence of you. I am longing for you, the same way you are longing for me, my love.” I couldn’t believe what he was saying to me. His words filled up my heart, and I started feeling lightheaded.

He was craving for me. He wanted to meet me. Everything that I am feeling towards him, as strange as those emotions are, he is feeling for me as well. His words were the most beautiful, heart wrenching thing I have ever heard in my inter life. I felt lucky to be seen this way, to be wanted this way, never actually having had someone tell me that before.

He really went all this way, just to meet me. Singing this melody, coming up this ship. But isn’t it a bit strange as well? I remembered not seeing another ship anywhere nearby. Where did he come from? How did he see me? Questions started filling my mind again, shaking me awake.

“What did you mean when you said you wanted to meet me from the first time you saw me? When did you see me?” I could see his body tensing up. Maybe he wasn’t expecting such a question.

“I can answer your question, but first you have to come with me. Please, Y/n. I will tell you everything, just please come with me. I don’t want to be apart from you anymore.”

“Haechan.” I looked at his hand, which was reaching for me again, motioning me to take it in mind. “Where do you want to take me? I mean there is no other ship anywhere near.”

“Y/n, just trust me, okay? Come with me and I will make the thoughts in your head disappear. I will make everything heal for you.” His hands hovered over my arms again, almost as if he couldn’t touch me. I wanted him to. I wanted him to touch me so badly. But I could see that something in his eyes had changed. They were darker, more desperate and demanding, and I knew it was my time to leave.

“I can’t.”, I told him, taking a few steps back. “I have to get up early tomorrow.” And with that I left, not once looking back as I walked back into my room.

I don’t know if what I did was right, or if I upset him with my behavior.

All I hope for is that he isn’t mad at me and will forgive me when he comes back. If he comes back.

August 31st, 1878

Day 54 on sea

He did in fact come back.

“Missed me?” There was something more gentle in the way he was talking to me today. Something more reserved.

“What if I did?” That made him smile, not smirk like he normally does. Haechan showed me a bright honest smile. And all I could think about was that he never looked more ethereal than in that moment.

“Then I will be highly pleased, my love. You know why?” I shook my head as a no, waiting for him to continue his sentence. “Because I missed you too?”

“You did?”

“Of course, I did. You were all I could think about all day long, pretty girl.” He stayed a bit further away from me too today and I wondered why. I asked myself if he didn’t want to be close to me again or if he felt rejected after what happened yesterday. “I couldn’t stop thinking about your sweet smile, your beautiful eyes and your lovely voice. I couldn’t wait to see you again.”

“Why don’t you touch me?”, I said out of the blue, catching not only myself, but him off guard as well. “You never touch me. You only hover your hands above my skin. Why?”

He smiled again, sweet and kind. “Because if I touch you once, I will never be able to stop again.”

“What if I don’t want you to stop?” He only shook his head, turning around to face the stars instead of me. But I didn’t want him to look away, I wanted him to look at me, because when he does look at me, I can feel again.

“I am sorry about yesterday, you know? I am sorry I was too intrusive, I let myself get caught up in my emotions.” I had to process his words, that being the last thing I thought would come out of his mouth. Never once had a men apologized to me for anything. I am so used to getting treated like nothing and it being normal in a society like the one I grew up with. Never once has anyone cared so much about me to consider my emotions and apologize for a mistake.

“Thank you.”, I just whispered, trying to swallow the tears. “That means a lot to me.” I decided to join him at the rail, watch the stars with him for a little while.

“Do you know that I think you are not real? I think I am imagining you, because for the past weeks I have been slowly losing my mind. Seeing the same things every day, not talking to anyone and having to deal with all those thoughts in my head. I think I started imagining you so I could just stop time for a while.”

“But I am real.”, he said, looking deep into my eyes. “I am real. You are not insane, and you are definitely not imagining me. I can prove that to you. Just take my hand and you will see.”

“Why does that feel like a trap?”, I asked him, watching his face, trying to read his emotions. But it stayed the same. His smile didn’t butch for a second and his eyes still held the same gentleness.

“I don’t know what you are talking about, Y/n. There is no trap. I am just offering you evidence to your lingering questions about your own sanity. I am just trying to be nice to you, but if you don’t appreciate that.”

“No, no I do. I am grateful for your kindness. You just sounded so demanding, and it made me doubtful.”

“I am so sorry, my sweet girl. It was never my intention to make you doubt me. That will never happen again, okay? All I want is the best for you. Nothing more.” I just nodded, eyes facing the wooden floor of the ship. “I am going to tell you the story of why I so desperately wanted to talk to you, since I didn’t yesterday. Maybe that will cheer you up a bit again.”

“I wanted to talk to you because I was mesmerized by you. Because there are not a lot of people out there like you. People so willing to learn and to explore. I never met a woman like you, someone so strong minded and independent. I loved how you never let anyone talk bad to you and I love how despite the negative things the men on this ship say about you, you still stay here. You prove to them every day that you are capable of being on such an expedition and that you are more qualified than they could ever be. And I just knew I had to talk to you, I had to have you in my life.”

And it was like he knew what I needed to hear. Like he knew my deepest darkest thoughts and all the things I was craving to ever be told by someone. It was like he spoke right into my soul and built up this newfound strength. I felt empowered, I felt loved. But yet again, I was also wondering how he could know all those things about me.

“Why do you know all that, Haechan?”

“I told you already, Y/n. I was longing for you.” It didn’t make sense. His answer didn’t make any sense. Was he avoiding my question? Or maybe he understood the question wrong, thinking this was an answer that would satisfy me. But it didn’t.

“That doesn’t answer my question. How can you possibly know about all those? We just met.”

I could hear a sigh leaving his lips, the long and frustrated kind. I am familiar with those, having heard them a thousand times from my father and brother. And I asked myself if I, yet again, upset him with my question. If I should have just kept quiet and appreciated his kind words and moved on from the topic.

“And yet again you don’t appreciate my kindness. All I do is be nice to you, proving to you that I am real and trustworthy, and you still doubt me. Don’t you know how much that hurts me? Do you?” His voice rose visibly, nostrils flaring and eyes growing wider. Haechan wasn’t looking like himself at that moment. He almost looked inhumane.

“I am sorry, Haechan. Please don’t say that. I do trust you. Please, I’m sorry.”, I started begging him, reaching for his hand, which he pulled away. “Please.” Tears filled my eyes and my whole body started hurting again, like it was slowly breaking apart from the inside out.

“You hurt me, Y/n. I don’t think your apology can fix this.”

And this time it was him walking away, disappearing into the darkness, and leaving me standing at the same spot, mourning for him like I had just lost a person to death.

September 1st, 1878

Day 55 on sea

I could see the surprise on his face when he saw me standing there, waiting for him this time, not needing his melody to be called. But the look of surprise quickly faded away and a smirk replaced it instead.

“I see you don’t even need my melody anymore.” It almost sounded cocky the way he said it.

“I wanted to be here first so I could apologize to you.”, I spoke the words with so much sincerity, wanting him to believe me and see that I genuinely mean the apology. “I am really sorry for hurting your feelings yesterday. It was never my intention. All I want to do is make you happy, Haechan, and I am so sorry that I failed to do so.”

He looked at me for a few seconds, brows raised, before he shrugged his shoulders. “What will you do if I don’t accept your apology?”

I didn’t hesitate when I spoke my next words. “I will beg for your forgiveness. I will beg until you accept my apology. I will do anything you want me to.”

“Anything I want you to?”, he asked, and I just nodded my head at him, desperation fulling my actions and probably written all over my face. “I will hold onto that one.”

“Does that mean you forgive me?” Haechan shrugged again, taking a few steps forward into my direction. Looking at him in that moment, I didn’t think he looked hurt. Normally people have this look on their face when their feelings got hurt, quivering lips, wide and sad eyes, body folding in on itself. But Haechans eyes were almost narrowed, and he was towering over me, almost like he was looking down at me. My father once told me people do that to prove their dominance over the other person, but I don’t think that was what Haechan wanted to do in that moment. Or was it?

Maybe Haechan is just like my brother, a person who has to hide their true feelings behind a stone-cold face to demonstrate strength. Or maybe he just didn’t want me to see him hurt by me to make me feel less guilty. Because I was and still am feeling bad for making him feel that way yesterday. I still regret my words and wish I would have just shut my mouth. I should do that more often, shutting my mouth in some situations. It would have saved me from a lot of things.

“I’m still thinking about it. Maybe I will tell you my answer at the end of the night.” That gave me some hope. Even though he didn’t yet accept my apology, he still wanted to spend time with me and that was more than enough for me.

“I saw you talking to that Jisung guy again today.” Haechan was still towering over me, hands in the pockets of his pants and eyes narrowing in on my face. “What is so intriguing about him that you talk so much to him?”

“Did you watch me?”, I asked him, shock lacing my voice. Jisung and I only talked in the kitchen today. I was hungry since I overslept in the morning and didn’t have breakfast. When I walked into the kitchen to grab myself something, Jisung was standing there, preparing the fish for dinner. We spent some time together, me eating my food and him cooking more. There wasn’t a lot of conversation, we just basked in the presence of each other.

“I asked you a question first.”, Haechan voice got lower again. I could only describe it as sinister. There was an undertone in that one small sentence, something that told me I should not say the wrong thing. So, I took a moment to gather my thoughts, fight through the mess in my head and find an answer that will satisfy him.

“He isn’t interesting to me.”, I tell him, keeping my voice clear and loud. “He is just the only person that talks to me when you aren’t here. There is nothing more to it.”

“It didn’t look like that earlier, sweetheart. I thought the two of you looked very cozy in that kitchen, sneaking glances at each other.” He let out a sound similar to a ‘tsk’ and shook his head in a mocking manner. “Am I not enough for you anymore? Do you go around and search for other men when I’m not around? Are you so desperate and needy for attention?”

“No.”, I whispered, feeling even the small last bit of confidence leaving my body. Haechan has a way of making me feel weaker and weaker, draining every last thought out of my head and making my body his. “No, Haechan.”

I felt my legs give him, sinking to my knees. My body felt so heavy but at the same time so light. Haechan kneeled down in front of me, lowering his head so he was looking right into my eyes. “You can’t talk to other men, Y/n. You are mine only, do you understand?” All I could do was nod my head at him, but that didn’t satisfy him. “You belong to me, right, my sweet girl? I need you to say it.”

“I belong to you.”, I mumbled, not having the strength to fully open my mouth.

“That is right. You belong to me, your body belongs to me and even your mind belongs to me. You are all mine, pretty princess.” He took up all my senses. I could only see him, smell him, hear him, feel him everywhere. Like only he excited in this world and no one else.

Haechan leaned forward, his lips brushing the skin of my ear. I could feel his warm breath on my skin, and it sent shivers down my back. “Now come with me, darling. Take my hand and come with me. I will make sure you remember me forever.”

I reached for his hand, fingers brushing against each other, but before I could close them around his, a bright light shined a bit further away from us. Everything happened so fast after that. I heard footsteps, a voice and suddenly I felt empty. Haechan was no longer kneeling in front of me and right as I wanted to look for him, my body gave in, and I fainted onto the cold wooden floor.

I don’t know how I got into my bed, and I don’t know who brought me into my bed. All I know is that the moment I woke up again I craved Haechan even more than I did before and I know that the next time he asks me to come with him, I will do so, without any hesitation.

September 2nd, 1878

Day 56 on sea

Everything changed today. Everything I thought I knew, everything I thought I felt. A lie.

I can’t stop crying. My tears are flowing like an endless waterfall. I’m a mess, a disaster. How could I let this all happen? I thought I was smarter than this. I thought I was stronger than this. But I was blinded. I was corrupted, manipulated, used.

I feel dirty, like I haven’t washed in weeks. But I just did. I spent a long time trying to scrub away the dirt I felt, trying to scrub away the shame I felt. I put everyone, especially me, in danger with my reckless behavior, with my blindness, with my incompetence. I am a failure.

I spent the whole day ignoring everyone around me, not even looking at anyone that passed me by. I wanted to desperately prove to Haechan that I only want him and no one else, that everyone on this ship doesn’t matter to me. All that matters is him. I was hoping he was watching me again, being proud of me.

But unfortunately, there was one person I couldn’t avoid even if I tried to.

“You wanted to speak to me, father.”, I said as I entered my father’s office room. I have never been in that room, not once over all these weeks. The room was scattered in books, empty bottles and maps of the sea. I always imagined the room to be neater, at least that was what my father always seemed to be. But my mother told me once that your room reflects the mental state you were in. Maybe my father was also struggling with his sanity.

“Yes.”, he answered me, looking up from his book. “I wanted to see how you are feeling, after your little incident yesterday.”

“I’m feeling fine, father. Must have been me sleep walking again. There is nothing to worry about.”

He just hummed, his face showing the uncertainty he felt because of my words. My father mustered me for a few seconds, waiting for even a little muscle to twitch in my face to show him if I was lying. But I kept a straight face, looking him right into the eyes. “I am thrilled to hear that. And we will find a way to fix your nightly problem.”

Father went back to reading in his book, and even though I knew I shouldn’t, the curious part of me wondered what he was so engrossed in. I always loved the books my father reads, knowing that they are filled with new knowledge. “What are you reading?”

He held up the book, showing me the cover. “Knowledge about the mysteries of the ocean.”, I read out loud, furrowing my eyebrows at the title. What an odd book, I have never heard about that. “What mysteries are listed in the book?”

“Oh, just some fisher men tales. Mermaids, kraken, leviathan, sirens. All those tales which warn everyone on ships about the dangers of the sea.”

“Sirens? I have never heard of them. What are they?” My father turned his book around, showing me the page, he was just reading. On it was a drawn picture of what looked to be a half bird, half fish creature. My stomach started to turn, the longer I looked at it, frightened by its appearance.

“This book says that sirens are mythical creatures, half bird, half fish. Through their angelic singing they lure in fishermen to kill them. It is said that their voice lures them in, but their face is what makes the fishermen stay.”

“Their face?”, I asked, not believing that for a second.

“They put you in a trance with their voice and make you see whoever you most desire. They are insidious, malicious creatures, feared by everyone who ever entered the ocean. They are dangerous, Y/n.” He looked me in the eyes, as if he knew something I didn’t. As if he wanted to tell me more with the last sentence.

“Do you really believe they exist? To me that just sounds like fishermen making up excuses as to why they didn’t bring any fish home.”

My father let out a long sigh, head shaking. He turned the book back to him and stared at the picture for a few more seconds, before closing the book again. “You could be right, Y/n. I mean you have always been the realistic one in this family. But as long as there is no proof that they don’t exist, I will have to believe those tales. It’s better to believe and find out they don’t exist, than to not believe and find out they do exist.”

I couldn’t stop thinking about his words after I left his office. They kept spinning around my head, swirling and clashing against other thoughts. And they were connecting. My thoughts were connecting together, and suddenly there was only one thought left. One person in my mind, and not for the reasons he had been in my mind for the past few days.

But I didn’t want to admit that. Not even to myself. It couldn’t be. It wasn’t true. Those useless tales were nothing but fiction, made up stories to save the fishermen from embarrassment and disappointment. Nothing more and nothing less.

Because I knew Haechan. I knew he wasn’t capable of something like that. He wasn’t a creature designed to prey on innocent people. Or was he?

I couldn’t help but smile as I heard the familiar melody, as I felt it sink deep under my skin and erase everything inside of me. I loved the pain it inflicted on my heart, the way the melody ripped me apart into a million pieces. I loved how for the first few seconds everything stopped being important to me. Breathing, feeling, living. Nothing felt important for a few seconds. Nothing but him.

Haechan leant against the rail of the ship, hands in his trousers and a smirk on his lips. It almost felt like a déjà-vu. I remembered how I felt when I first saw him. Feelings that were once so innocent and unfamiliar are now unconditional and fierce. “My pretty girl.”, he whispered, and I felt the weight on my shoulders lift. “Are you ready?”

“Ready for what?”, I asked, taking a few steps closer to him. I was craving his closeness, his touch. I needed him to touch me, anywhere. I didn’t mind where.

“Ready to come with me.” My head was clouded, brainwashed by his beautiful voice. But wasn’t that exactly what my father told me, what he warned me about. “I can see your doubt in me, sweetheart. What is it that is plaguing your beautiful mind?”

“Do you plan on killing me?” I don’t know why I asked him that question. I don’t know how I got the strength to break out of the haze, even just a little bit.

“Killing you? Why would I kill you?” His eyes darkened and I could see his body language changing. I could see all of him changing. Haechan let out a chuckle before walking into my direction, stopping when he was right behind me. Brushing my hair back, never once touching me, as he leant down to whisper into my ear.

“I really wanted to kill you at first, my sweet girl. I wanted nothing else but to rip you apart.” My body shut down, letting me fall weakly to my knees just like the day before. I couldn’t keep my eyes open for more than five seconds. Haechan kneeled down in front of me, yet again and placed his hand on my cheek. Finally, I could feel him. I could feel the one thing I craved most, his touch. But it didn’t feel how I imagined it to. Instead of lifting me up and making me basked in comfort, it made me flinch. His touch made me want to never see the light of day ever again. “But how could I kill such a beautiful thing? You are my precious girl, aren’t you? So sweet and special.”

I wanted to run, get away from him. I wanted to do anything but to stay with him, but my body didn’t let me. My body stayed down on the ground, heavy and useless. “Does it hurt, love? Does my touch and my words hurt you?” He didn’t need an answer because he knew. He knew how every bone in my body felt like it was on fire as soon as he muttered those words. He knew all I wanted was to make this growing pain stop. “Just come with me. I will make the pain stop.”

When I looked up at him, I saw only a glimpse of him. His skin was pale blue, scales all over it, and his teeth were sharp and long. This wasn’t the boy I met a few nights ago, the boy who made me feel like I was floating on the clouds and the boy who gave me a reason to live. This was a creature, a monster. A siren.

“Go away.”, I croaked out with the last strength I had left in my body.

“Oh no, you poor thing. Don’t be like that.” Not even his voice sounded like the sweet melody I once heard. It didn’t give me sweet pleasure anymore, it only gave me pain. “You love me, or have you forgotten? Have you forgotten all the feelings I inflicted on you? Have you forgotten how good you felt when you were with me? I can make that come back. You just have to come with me.”

“Go to hell.” I didn’t know that this simple sentence could mean the end of my life because the next thing I felt was a sharpness going through my body. And I knew this would be it. This would be the last few seconds before I was gone.

“Y/n!”, I heard someone shout, loud and piercing. I opened my eyes, only to have my vision be blurry. I tried to move, look who that voice belonged to and if I was imagining it again. “Go away and never come back, or I will have you killed and each and everyone of you creatures on this planet.”

I took a hurtful breath and it felt as if my lungs were filled with broken pieces of glass. My eyes tried to stay open, but I didn’t have the strength. “No, Y/n. Stay awake. Please don’t leave me.”

Whiteness surrounded me, filling me up and taking me in. Silence. I heard nothing more than silence. I tried looking around, kicking and fighting as I was trapped in nothing but endless vastness. Far away from me I could see something, or someone waiting for me. I tried to walk towards it, reaching my arms out to grab it, but I never came close.

“It’s not your time yet, Y/n.” And before I could question those words, my eyes opened.

It took me a few seconds to regain my vision, seeing the familiar walls of my room. As I remembered just what had happened, I felt panic filling my body, my breaths coming out faster than normal and my mind spiraling in wild circles.

“It’s okay, Y/n.”, I heard the voice of my father first before I felt his arms around my body, pulling me tightly into him. “Your safe. Nothing can hurt you anymore.”

I looked up at him with wide eyes and my mouth agape. I felt like a little kid again, crying in the arms of my father after having a bad dream. Just that this wasn’t a dream. This is reality.

“It’s okay. We are on our way back home. That creature will never find you again, we made sure of that, okay?” My father held me with so much delicacy, fearing he might break me. “You’re safe. I won’t let anyone, or anything hurt you again.”

And I believed him. There in the arms of my father I believed his words. So, I closed my eyes, let the sleep consume me and hoped that this promise would be one he could keep.

September 10th, 1878

Day 64 on sea

I let the salt air take away all the scars of the past weeks as I watched the soft waves flow under the setting sun. This was the first time in eight days that I had the courage to leave my room. I couldn’t face the place where everything happened. The place where I almost lost myself.

I closed my eyes and imagined the soft grass under my toes, the chirping birds in my ear and the blinding sunlight in my eyes. I imagined biting into a sweet apple, feeling the fresh morning air on my skin and smiling at the veracity of the moment.

“Daydreaming again?”, I heard a voice in front of me, making an actual smile appear on my lips. A smile I haven’t let myself show in a long time.

“What brings you out here? Shouldn’t you be in your bed, sleeping like everyone else is?” Jisung just shrugged his shoulders, his hair softly swaying in the wind.

He showed me a sweet smile, sitting down beside me and taking one of my hands in his. “I am not going to ask you how are doing, since everyone else does that every day.” I nodded at him, grateful for not hearing the repeating question out of his mouth as well. “But I am going to ask you if you still feel the withdrawal, you told me about.”

My eyes filled with tears again and I tried my best to swallow them down. “Yes.”, I mumbled, looking down, too ashamed to let him see me this way. To let him see me so weak and pathetic. “Yes, I still feel it, every day. I long for him, and I know it isn’t right. He isn’t who he showed me to be. I know I was blinded by a trance. I was blinded by need. I know what I am feeling isn’t right and that he wasn’t right. But for a few seconds, for a few seconds every day, it felt real. For a few seconds every day I could just be. I could be me. I could forget the pain and my thoughts, and I could breathe.”

Jisung just nodded his head, not letting go of my hand, but he didn’t say a word. I appreciated that. I appreciated the quietness of him. Because as opposed to the others, he didn’t lecture me on my feelings. He didn’t tell me how it is wrong to feel the way I do and how I should have seen all this coming. He didn’t try to tell me how to move past this, or how to continue living my life. Jisung just stayed silent.

“Why are you awake?”, I asked him after a few moments, breaking the silence he gifted me.

“I couldn’t sleep. And the last time I told you about my sleeping problems, you told me you could tell me a story, like my mother did. A bedtime story to make me fall asleep.” I let the tears that still lingered in my eyes roll down my cold cheeks, as I nodded my head. “Will you tell me one?”

“Yes. Yes, of course. I will tell you any story you want.”

And so, I did.

I told everyone my story.

Bonus

“What took you so long?”

Haechan swam into the cave, brushing past everyone that was looking at him with expecting eyes. He ignored them all and just kept swimming.

“Answer my question.”, Jeno spoke louder this time, but Haechan just kept swimming. He didn’t care that everyone was waiting for him, waiting for him to fulfill his promise, to fulfill all the promises he had made for the past weeks.

“We had a fight.”, he told Jeno with a shrug of his shoulders, nonchalant about the other one’s questions. Haechan could see the disappointment and anger in the faces of everyone in the cave, and he couldn’t care less. He knew what he was doing was right. He knew it was necessary to go through all these lengths to get what he wanted, what everyone wanted.

“A fight?”, his friend repeated, skeptic lingering in his voice. “This isn’t a game, Haechan. We put our trust and time in your hands. How long until this plan of yours backfires? How long until they notice that their ship hasn’t been moving in days? How long until they discover us and put an end us?”

“Jeno.”, Haechan’s eyes piercing into the older boy, voice clearly stating a warning. “Have you lost all your trust in me? I know what I am doing.”

“Are you?” Everyone was looking at the two, anticipating the outcome of this long-awaited conversation. “You were the one promising us you were going to get us this girl. You were the one convincing us how much you were craving her and how much we should as well. And we have given you time, but all you do is play around. This isn’t a game, Haechan. This will determine our lives. Without her, we will not survive, and you are very well aware of that.”

“This is where you are wrong, my dear friend.” Haechan turned his body, facing all the sirens watching him. “This is a game, and I am the leader of it. This girl we are talking about is different from everyone we have ever had. This one is special. She isn’t easily fooled by my tricks, by my voice. She has a smart mind, that one.” A wide grin appeared on the siren’s lips, making him almost look crazy, and his eyes narrowed on his friend yet again. “This one will bring us everything we have ever dreamt of. And it will work. The game I am playing, the fight we were having today, it will all work in the end.”

“How can you be so sure of that?” The question lingered in the quiet of the cave, the eyes of everyone looking at Haechan, faith and trust all in his hands.

“Because it is all going according to plan.”, he announced, voice thick with pride and confidence. “It is all going according to my plan.”

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