#lee haechan imagine

[tqmies]

Description. You and your friends have a pact, no dating unless you are. This is only fair seeing as you’re highly unlikely to ever get in a relationship, seeing as you tend to brush off every males advances. Unfortunately for you though, Na Jaemin really wants to date your friend, he’ll do anything! Even go as far as pay Lee Haechan, resident playboy, to change your mind about the whole dating thing. 

Pairings. Lee Haechan x Female Reader

Genre. Romance, Enemies!(Sorta)To!Lovers, Comedy, Angst

Warnings. Mentions of sex, drinking, kissing, reader and Haechan argue for a bit, crying, etc. Let me know if I missed anything.

Word count. 16K

Note. It's finally done, my baby, my longest fic. Words can't even express how much a roller coaster this was. Please, please leave feedback <3 Thank you for everyone who voted for this haha.

ONE, THEY MAKE EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM.

You laid sprawled on your couch as your friends continued to gossip. This was a normal thing, you’d invite your friends over, have a few drinks and gossip would ensure. You didn’t mind it, truth be told, but there was a reason today was particularly sour.

Na Jaemin, Huang Renjun, and Lee Jeno had crashed your impromptu get together. Well, more like Yeji invited them, bless her heart. But did she really have to? Her explanation was that her and your other friend Chaewon ran into them on campus. From there, they had invited the boys to drink with them. 

Sure, you get it, the boys paid for the alcohol. But really? Was it necessary?

They had taken all the attention away, practically commanding the room, and you couldn’t stand it. Of course! Here come’s buff jock Jeno, charming Jaemin, and pretty boy Renjun to steal the spotlight. And you detested all of it.

You and Karina sat with mild scowls on your faces, her’s from her lack of knowing other guests were invited. Being your roommate, she had done little besides change into a fresh pair of sweatpants and t-shirt, not expecting boys to come over. She freaked out for like five minutes after opening the door, you assuring her that she looked fine, but she was peeved for lack of warning anyways. 

She took the loss and just decided to sit in self loathing over these boys seeing her without makeup. Doing little to contribute to the conversation, you just twisted the string on your hoodie as they called out your name. 

“Do you have any lemons?” Jeno asks, looking over at you. His tone somewhat softer, trying not to piss you off. Even though he was already failing.

You barely even realize its you that he’s addressing, having tuned everyone out. You almost roll your eyes as your face scrunches upon realization of his question. “Why do you need lemons?” 

“Jaemin likes his vodka with some lemon juice.” He explains, the other staring at you expectantly before looking between you two. 

Of course he does, you just sigh and get off your spot in the couch. Karina follows after you, clinging onto you as a source of warmth. She didn’t want to be left alone without you after all.

“What kind of guy drinks their vodka like that? Be a man!” She mutters, pulling out a cutting board and knife as you open your refrigerator in search of the lemon. 

“I don’t even know if we have one.” You say, standing in front of your fridge with your hands on your hips. Digging through the drawers, you pull out the only round object to be found. “We have a lime.” 

Karina snorts and grabs it from you, slicing it in half. “It’ll have to do.” 

You laugh at her remark as she makes her way back into the living room with the wedges of lime. Karina was your oldest friend, you two meeting in middle school. Attending university and living with her was a no brainer, and it was going really well. During your freshmen year, you two had met Yeji in the library, Karina befriending her after basically living there during exam season. You two welcomed her into your friendship shortly after that. She then introduced you to her desk partner in finance class, which was Chaewon. You guys all clicked and that led to your little found family that you had here. 

You hoped these boys didn’t expect to squeeze their way into this sisterhood. 

Karina hands Jaemin the lime, shrugging as he looks at it, then back at her. He awkwardly smiles and squeezes it into his drink. Though you can definitely tell he thinks this is the worst thing in the world, well at least he’s polite. 

You and Karina go back to practically cuddling on the couch, her head right next to yours as you share a blanket. For the next ten minutes, you two sit in silence showing each other pictures on your phone, to which earns a nod or a hum of agreement. 

The others sit on the floor, around your rectangular coffee table, with the bottles all over it. Yeji nudges Chaewon though, tilting her heads towards you two. You guys were usually so loud, had something happened? 

Yes, something happened. Boys happened. 

“Don’t you guys wanna sit down here?” Chaewon asks, patting the carpeted ground next to her. “And have a drink maybe? I haven’t even seen you two touch your cups.” 

Renjun speaks up. “Yeah, you guys should come talk!” 

“We,” You begin, gesturing a between you and Karina. “Are talking plenty.”

“How’s the lime, by the way?” Karina speaks up, smirking at Jaemin. 

Jaemin just gives a forced smile and a thumbs up, though his drink remains untouched minus a sip. And even that, was a stretch. 

Yeji gestures for you two to come sit, giving you two a stern look this time. She definitely was just wondering why you guys were acting so reclusive. She’s adamant, you’ll give her that. 

Deciding that, maybe you’ve had enough attitude for one day, you take Chaewon up on her offer, plopping next to her. The spots also next to Renjun, who you deem to be the most bearable of the boys, so its not too bad. Karina sits on the opposite side of Chaewon, sandwiched between her and Yeji. Damn, you should’ve thought of that first. 

“So, are you all single, or what?” Jeno asks, pouring himself another shot. He asks only out of genuine curiosity, but you think your demeanor spoke for itself.

You lied, you can never have enough attitude in one singular day. 

Yeji nods. “Yeah, for a while now.” 

“Can I ask why?” Jaemin asks, taking a sip of his drink. “I find it hard to believe none of you have found anyone you’ve liked here.” 

“Why is that hard to believe? I find boys quite insufferable.” You speak, finally letting yourself have a taste of that vodka. The boys turn to you and you smile back sarcastically, having no qualms about what you had said. 

“That’s why.” Chaewon sits up, looking at you. “We have this sort of, pact thing.” 

“You really wanna get into this now, Chae?” Karina pipes up, knowing how this usually goes. 

“A pact?!” Jeno looks confused. 

“We have this rule, since we started this year, that we wouldn’t date anyone. You know, to keep our focus on academics and our jobs.” Yeji explains, the boys looking at you like you were all crazy. This was the normal response, shocked and somewhat disappointed looks, not like you cared though.

“So what? Plenty of people do that and still have relationships.”

“We’re just trying to stay as focused as possible.” Karina defends, shooting you a knowing look.

“There is however,” Chaewon starts, putting down her empty glass. “One exception to the rule.”

“Well?” Jaemin asks, leaning closer like a kid waiting to be told an answer. 

“Yn is the most responsible one between all of us. If anyone can do both, it’s them. Therefore, if she gets a boyfriend, the rest of us are free to date!” 

“That sounds stupid.” Renjun deadpans, and you’d kind of agree. It wasn’t even your idea anyways, they just held you to such a standard that they believed the day you got a boyfriend would be the end to all. Therefore, they placed their bets on staying focused onto you staying single. Normally, you’d be offended, but so far it was shaping up to be true. 

“We take this super serious as well.” Yeji nods. “Absolutely no boyfriends unless she has one. It’s just the pact of this friend group.” 

“Plus, Yn runs from boys like the plague. So it only seems viable to stake our academic performance on her.” Karina adds on, shooting you a teasing smile.

“Wow thanks guys.” You mumble. “I feel so loved.” 

Chaewon rolls her eyes. “You don’t have a boyfriend because you don’t want one. We are just following in your example.” 

“So basically, this exception is impossible. Which is why you put it as one?” Renjun tries to follow and all the girls nod in response. 

Oh Jaemin was in deep shit now. He knew about you, everyone in the room did. You laughed in the face of anyone who tried to romantically peruse you, not that they wanted to anymore anyways. Last time he heard a boy try to hit on you, it ended horribly for the entire hockey team.

 To put it plainly, you were never going to get a boyfriend. 

Jaemin wishes he had known about this before he fell head over heels for Chaewon. How could he not? That girl is perfect! But now upon hearing about her absolute refusal to date, this only meant certain rejection for him. He wanted to just be swallowed into your deep shaggy carpet, just let Jeno pry him out with a stick or something. This was just mission impossible, and he was no Tom Cruise.

“So none of you have dated before?” Jaemin asks, hoping he can get a hopeful response out of his crush. 

“I had a boyfriend when I met Yn,” Karina starts, face turning sour. “Let’s just say there’s a reason I was down for this agreement.” 

“Never had time.” Yeji looks away, clearly embarrassed at sharing her lack of relationships. 

“Me neither!” Chaewon agrees, and Jaemin all but deflates. She was absolutely unattainable, as if she wasn’t before, it’s even more amplified now! 

“And you?” Renjun asks, giving you a small smile as he tries to include you in the conversation. Though, you're not really having it. 

“Doesn’t really matter, does it? It’s not like I’m getting one now.” And with that you decide to find solace in your phone, choosing to ignore the rest of the conversation for the night. If only it was that simple.

TWO, THEY’RE LIARS.

Damn it, after all the kindness (read: not killing him.) you had showed Renjun, he does this to you! He’s around fifteen minutes late, leaving you to awkwardly muddle around the stores front door. Goodness, you look like a loiterer. 

You two had struck up an unconventional friendship after meeting again at your favorite burger place. You recognized him, and normally you would’ve walked off and pretended you didn’t know him. But you were caught off guard by his hat, and you just had to know where he got it from. He actually admitted that he crocheted it himself and you practically jumped up. This led to you rambling about how badly you wanted to learn to crochet. So, after exchanging numbers, you two agreed to meet at the craft store to pick up supplies. Afterwards he would help you learn crochet patters and all that good stuff. 

But he’s late, and you’re about to discard Renjun as another “Failed Male.” on your list. All in all, it’s a list of males you’ve given a chance to, friendship wise, that had proved you right every single time. (Lee Jeno was on that list.) Renjun’s liar status was slowly creeping up right about now. 

Hearing a car door slam, you spot Renjun pushing his hair back from his face, running towards you. He’s in a full on sprint, and he looks apologetic. 

The boy in the drivers seat, who you recognize as Mark Lee, offers you a smile and wave. You manage to offer one back, what a weird kid.

Renjun slows as he approaches. He looks stressed as he speaks. “Sorry I’m late, Mark clogged his toilet and he doesn’t have a plunger in his apartment and-”

You cut him off. “Hey, whoa it’s fine. I’ll be honest, I thought you had ditched me, but hearing you were just unclogging toilets made me feel a little better.” 

He stifles a laugh and just heads into the store, you following behind. This stores was huge, and with all these materials, you could likely be in here for days. Renjun’s familiar with it though, so he leads you straight to the needles and yarn.

Hm, maybe he’s not so bad after all. For one, he seems helpful with his friends, and he’s spending a chunk of his time hanging out with some random girl. He was alright in your book, and definitely not just because he was helping you.

Grabbing a couple patters and some yarn, Renjun throws it into the cart you’re pushing. Standing before the needles he looks around. “I have no idea what the best needle for a beginner would be.” 

You blink, who else would know? “What needle did you start with?” 

“My grandma gave it to me, I don’t know the millimeters on it or anything.” He shrugs, grabbing the needle set that looks most like his. 

You just agree, not like you had a choice anyways. About fifteen minutes later, you two push the cart into the lengthy line. Renjun had grabbed a few things for himself as well, saying he could never have too much yarn. You started conversing about which pattern to try first when his phone rings. 

He shoots you an excuse me, and pulls out his phone, groaning at the sight before answering it. The person on the other end speaks frantically as Renjun tries to keep up with his reponses. “Hello? What? No-”

He’s cut off by the voice on the other side loudly shouting. “Fine! I don’t care, I’m just with Yn so...No! You’re disgusting.”

You watch as he hangs up abruptly, pushing his phone back into his pocket as he sighs. “It was Donghyuck.”

“Who?” 

“Haechan,” Renjun clarifies but watches as you still look confused. “Lee Haechan.” 

Though your expression remains as you shrug. “Never heard of him.”

“Well,” Renjun starts but waves himself off. “Doesn’t matter, he was calling saying he had a girl over. He’s my roommate, and hes loud.”

You laugh a little. “Try living with Karina.”

“No,” He shakes his head. “Haechan is like living with fifteen Karinas, but they’re all men, and they’re all really horny.”

“Ew?!” You manage, watching how Renjun was dead serious as you laugh at his expense. 

“They’re all messy too!”

Before you can comment back, the two of you make your way to an open register as the number is called. The man bags your things and you head out, excited to finally start this intimidating hobby you were interested in.

“So to my place then?” You ask, assuming this Haechan wouldn’t want you around if he’s boning someone. Renjun just groans, “But my patterns are at my place, I wanted to work on one of my projects.”

You don’t know what to say. “We can go pick them up?”

“Then sneak out and hope his fuck buddy doesn’t hear us?” Renjun continues, but the more he thinks about, the more he thinks he can do it. It couldn't be that bad anyways, right? Then he's reminded of his whole mission today. “I’m crocheting a bunny and I really need those patterns.” 

You wait for him to continue as he looks like he has more to say. So you offer a simple, “Cute.”

“It’s for a girl,” He resumes, his face heating up slightly as he thinks of her. “I really wanted to finish it as soon as possible, so I could ask her to be my girlfriend. Bunnies are her favorite animal.” 

“Awe!” You beam, that was such a cute gesture. Your heart fluttered for something as adorable as that. “Renjun, that’s so sweet!”

“Really? Funny coming from the romance hater.”

You roll your eyes as he kills the mood. You didn’t exactly hate it, it was just something that left you scarred. Something you didn’t care for much anymore. Though, sometimes you can’t suppress the little hopeless romantic in the back of your mind. Renjun doesn’t have to know all that though. “I don’t hate romance, I just find it rather trivial.” 

“I find you rather trivial.” Renjun remarks back sarcastically and you can’t help but laugh at how stupid he is. He fake winces as you hit him on the shoulder. 

“Let’s get you those patterns loverboy!”

“Don’t call me-” But you slam your car door closed before he can continue. You just wait for him to slide into your passangers seat, unamused expression still present on his face.

He grabs your phone as you hand it to him and inputs his address. “Is this the first time you’ve gone to a guys house?”

“Very funny.” You scoff, facing the road. “I’ll have you know I’ve been to a guys house before.”

“That’s surprising.”

You fight the urge to playfully (kinda) hit him on his arm again. Opting instead to turn up your radio and make the ride without anymore stabs at your love life.

It doesn’t take long for you to arrive there. Renjun was really helpful with directions and where to park, so now all that was left was getting the stuff.

“You want me to go in alone?” Renjun asks, like he can’t believe the girl he’s known for a week doesn’t want to enter his apartment with him. You knew Renjun sure, but you had watched too many crime shows to not be a little cautious.

“Why wouldn’t you?” You ask, genuinely as he frowns.

“Just come grab them with me, I need another set of hands for my yarn too!” Renjun pleads as he continues to beg, you sighing as you give in.

“Fine!” And you turn your car off as you follow behind him slowly. You wish you had more resilience but you just wanted to get back into the warm confines of your room so, who could blame you? You watch as Renjun unlocks his apartment and listens in as he’s met with silence.

“That’s weird-“ Renjun starts but is cut off by a loud moan. You mentally beat yourself up for agreeing to enter with him.

“If I have to hear it, so do you.” Renjun continues as he enters his apartment further, and you just stand still. How could he so calm about this? You weren't a prude or anything, but you'd think you'd die of embarrassment if you came home to your roommate moaning up a storm. “Well come on, the yarns in my room!”

You just stand in disbelief, before hastily walking behind him. You couldn’t believe this. He goes to what you assume is his room and fumbled with the door, only to realize it’s locked.

“Is this not your room?” You tease, eyebrow raising. He gives you a glare as he tries to open his door again, still not budging.

“Of course this is my room. How big of an idiot do you think I am?” Renjun shoots back, and you almost laugh with how quick he is.

“Well..” You pretend to think and he looks halfway offended.

“I don’t remember leaving it locked when," He changes the subject as he trails. A look of realization on his face. "Oh my god.”

“What?” You asked, sure something was dawning on Renjun, but you were lost. He basically freezes in place as he stares at his door knob and the tips of his ears turn red.

You’re both derailed by another chorus of moans striking the air, but this time it’s apparent who’s room they’re coming from. It’s Renjun’s.

“You freaks!” Renjun screams, pounding on the door. “Open this damn door Haechan or I will pull it off the hinges and throw it at your big ass head!”

Once again, you’re quiet in disbelief. Almost managing to stuffer a soft “What?”

“It’s a kink he has. Fucking idiot does this to me even though I told him to stop!" Renjun shouts the last part so that his friend can hear, though he's met with no response. He bangs on the door again, "You're gonna pay for this!"

A laugh comes from inside his room as, who you assume to be Haechan, teases him. "Yeah right, what're you gonna do? Fuck that Yn girl on my bed?"

"You two are fucking on my bed?!" Renjun shrieks, ignoring the dig Haechan took at you. Geez, he sounded like a complete dickhead.

"What? You thought we were on the floor?" Haechan responds, the girl trying, yet failing, to stifle her moans.

"Oh my god, this is the worst day of my life." You whisper, jaw slacked.

"Of your life?!" Renjun yelps, staring blankly at his door. "I'm going to need all new sheets."

You tug on his arm, wanting to sprint out of there. "Lets just go, you can make that bunny another day."

"I'm going to kill him." Renjun groans, pulling back slightly before giving up and treading out of his apartment. You just keep your mouth closed as Renjun's face sours.

"Wanna sleep on my couch?" You offer, knowing you'd want someone to do the same if that had just happened. "I know you're going to have to like.. burn those covers."

"If it's not a big deal," Renjun trails, thinking about it. "Yeah I would."

"Fun!" You clap your hands. "We can have a sleepover! I can do your nails and show you my favorite movie-"

"Please shut up already." He rolls his eyes as he pushes you out of the elevators towards your car as you giggle. "This is going to be a long night."

..

About ten blocks away lays Na Jaemin, on his couch as he stares at his phone, awaiting another text from Chaewon. The two have been talking a lot recently, albeit on a friendly level, but he's spoken to her enough to know he's definitely whipped.

Jeno, his roommate, walks into the room as he stays glued to his own device. Although he's in a Chaewon induced haze of love, Jaemin notices that odd behavior. Jeno isn't one to be on his phone like that, so what was so interesting? "Who are you texting?"

"Karina." The other responds, eyes not leaving his phone for a second as he takes a seat on the couch opposite of Jaemin.

"Seriously?" Jaemin begins, and Jeno rolls his eyes, knowing what the other is implying. Jaemin sits up slightly, "She's off limits."

"Yeah and so is Chaewon," Jeno pauses, giving the other a dirty look. "But that isn't stopping you."

Jaemin wants to launch the nearest pillow in Jeno's face. "I actually like Chae-"

Jeno interrupts him before he can continue proclaiming his love. "Chill out, it's not even like that. Karina's just texting me about Renjun."

"She's into Renjun?!"

"No!" Jeno responds, annoyed. "He's just crashing on her couch."

"Boring." Jaemin says, refreshing his DM's to see if he missed a reply from his crush yet. Surprise surprise, he didn't. "I'm never going to get a chance with Chaewon, am I?"

Jeno shrugs, finally placing his phone down as he gets to grab a bottled water from the fridge. "There are other girls."

"She isn't just some girl," Jaemin responds, sincere in his words. "I really like her, man."

"Well then do something about it."

And Jaemin just might have to.

THREE, THEY DON'T MIND THEIR BUSINESS.

"So you really did bone?" Lee Haechan stands against your door as you fight the urge to slam it in his face. Your face is showing clear signs of displeasure at this stranger standing at your front door, but if he noticed, he sure wasn't doing anything to brighten your mood. But then again, he's just a guy, what more did you expect from him?

"It's really none of your business." You declare, not backing down. If he wanted an argument, then who were you to refuse?

"Whatever, Renjun will fuck anything that walks." And that statement sounds so funny coming out of the mouth of someone who'll actually fuck anything, according to Renjun. Who was he to slutshame anyways?

"What? Are you self projecting right now?"

Haechan opens his mouth to speak again but you stop him with a glare and a wave of your hand. "Let me just go wake Renjun so you can get off my damn property."

Leaving Haechan at your front door, you shake Renjun awake by his shoulders as he lays. He lays as still as a rock, not reacting to your small "Wake up, Haechan's here to take you home."

Renjun groans in response, stretching as he mutters out a "Tell him to fuck off."

"Good luck with that." You smirk, holding back a laugh. "Don't forget you have to spray your room for bed bugs later."

"You're not funny." Renjun shoots back but ironically lets out a laugh. He's still half asleep as he lazily makes his way to your front door. Yet, upon spotting Haechan, he seems to be wide awake.

"What the hell are you even doing here?!" Renjun all but shouts, "I should beat your ass right here for that stunt you pulled!"

"Stunt?! I was pleasing a girl, something you would know nothing about! Especially if Yn's attitude is any indicator, you must be a bad lay." Haechan cackles, yet the two of you remain anything but amused.

"If you actually payed attention to your friend, you might know he actually has someone he likes." You step in, tired of the comments. "And it's not me."

"So? Doesn't mean he can't sleep with someone else." Haechan furrows his brows at your statement. His eyes widen upon realization of what you're saying. "Awe, you're so naive to think that. It's kind of cute honestly."

"Get out." You say through gritted teeth. Haechan backs up and you watch Renjun step out of your apartment, knowing he had to leave too if you wanted any peace in your own place. "Renjun, you can-"

"No I'd better go, I have to knock this one's head against the wall." He nods, promptly grabbing Haechan by the ear as the other protests. Dragging him away as he leans down, letting out a string of ow's in his wake. You just watch, he deserved it anyways.

..

"Why have I been seeing Lee Haechan everywhere?!" You exhale, stabbing a fork into your food. You and your friends were having lunch outside on a picnic table on campus, shaded by the strong oak tree's nearby. It's such a beautiful day, but the proximity of an unwanted face makes your mood dampen.

Karina chews her food. "You sure you're not imagining him?"

You put your fork down. "If I was imaging someone, it'd be like.. Song Kang or someone hot! Haechan is like a rodent!"

"Rodent is a little harsh, no?" Yeji scrunches her nose, picking something off of Karina's plate. "He seems nice enough."

"Nice?!" You groan, looking to Karina. "Help me out here."

Karina just shrugs. "I haven't met him."

"And yet he's literally everywhere." You stare blankly at the open grass next to you. There sits Haechan, accompanied by Mark Lee and a boy you don't recognize. They're talking to girls, smiling as Haechan puts his full flirting charms to those poor victims. You pity them.

"Jaemin say's he's funny." Chaewon interjects, like Jaemin's opinion was worth a damn in your book.

Still you vocalize. "Funny doesn't mean he's a good person."

"I just don't get why you hate him so much." Yeji speaks, pointing her spoon at you as she chews.

You roll your eyes before crossing your arms. "If you heard the way he spoke to me, you'd hate him too."

"I don't doubt it." Karina admits, taking a sip from her water bottle. "But I also just think you're beginning to give him way too much attention."

"What?! How?! First, he violates Renjun's bed and makes us listen to those moans. Then, he shows up to my house like a maniac the next morning and then starts insisting we slept together, like it even mattered!" You scoff, the girls listening to your rant. "But not before making several inappropriate comments about me!"

"Since when did you care what a man had to say?" Yeji raises her brows as she awaits your response. She was somewhat right, you usually never gave a man this time of day over simple remarks. But Haechan just managed to get under your skin far more than anyone ever had.

Chaewon jumps in before you can formulate a response back though. Keeping her voice low, as he leans in a hushed tone. "So did you sleep with Renjun?"

"Chaewon!"

"I was just asking-"

"Wait?" Yeji stops, putting her hands down on the table. "Since when are we allowed to sleep with people?"

"What do you mean?" Karina looks at her. "I've had hookups since the agreement, I thought it was just serious relationships out of the question."

"Oh my god. I could've been fucking Changmin from creative writing class, this entire time?!" Yeji asks, mouth agape as she mourns a missed opportunity.

"Yes.." Chaewon trails. "Though, I don't see why you'd want to."

"Hey!" Yeji defends and the two begin bickering. They always had the opposite type in boys, never agreeing on a males attractiveness. So it was safe to say you were used to the silly little arguments.

Chaewon say's something about his short hair while Yeji starts to point out how the other likes 'stick skinny' boys. This then prompts Chaewon to go on a tirade about how 'muscles don't matter."

You're so wrapped up in the two's words that you fail to notice approaching figures in the corner. That is until the girls still and Karina greets, "Hey Mark."

Your head whips around and low and behold, there standing (a little awkwardly) is Mark Lee. You could've sworn just ten seconds ago he was across the field, curse you letting your guard down.

Honestly, Mark isn't all that bad, its the two he's brought with him that are trouble. And as Haechan flashes you a smirk, you really wish they would've stayed across that damn grass.

"Jungwoo! I haven't seen you in a while." Yeji says, the aforementioned boy rubbing his neck in embarrassment.

"I dropped the class we had together." The guy you've learned is named Jungwoo, responds. "I'm an engineering major now."

"No need for British literature there, huh?" Your friend responds back as Jungwoo laughs.

Yet you can't bring yourself to laugh at anything, given how Haechan had made himself comfortable at the table, choosing the seat right in front of you. Great. Haechan figured that this way, he can force you to stare at him, even if it's just for a little bit. Yet, you're looking anywhere but at him right now.

"How's Renjun, baby?" He breaks the silence, and you move to look him in the eyes, a scowl present on your face. You know he's not talking to you like that.

You've never wanted to punch someone so badly. "Doesn't he live with you? And don't call me that."

"Call you what? Baby?" There he goes again.

You really didn't want to deal with this right now, especially since it's like the male had been following you lately. You were being honest, you had truly been seeing him everywhere. The last thing you wanted was any type of interaction with him after finding him in all your favorite spots. The bench outside your building. He was there. The table you sit at in the dining hall. He was there. The craft store you went to with Renjun. Ding ding ding, you guessed it! He was there.

Moving to stand up, you grab the attention of the others. Karina looks at you quizzically. "Where are you going?"

"Away from Haechan." You speak honestly, closing the water bottle you were drinking from.

Yeji turns to you. "What, why? Mark was just inviting us to a party!"

"I'm tired." You say, as politely as you can, thinking of any excuse to not go to this party. You didn't mind parties, they were okay sometimes, but right now you just really wanted to be out of Haechan's general vicinity.

Chaewon peeks behind Yeji. "Come on, why not? Jaemin texted me that he'd drive us home! It could be fun, we could get wasted!"

Yes, because your ideal Friday night involved getting wasted and throwing up so hard you can't remember your own name. That was exactly your scene. "No thanks, I'm gonna sit this one out."

Yeji stands with you. "Everyone's gonna be there! It could be fun!"

They were persistent, as they were persuasive.

"Ok, fine." You really need to learn to stand your ground a little harder.

So that was how you found yourself, a couple hours later, back in the company of the one you swore you despised. It was inevitable that Haechan would be present, this was Mark's party after all. From what you've gathered, the two were close as well as the other boys your friends knew.

Jeno and Jaemin were here, Jaemin sober as he promised while he spoke to Chaewon, and Jeno? Well, if him and Karina making out on the kitchen counter was indication, not so much. Renjun just snickered at that, "That's gross."

You nod in agreement, opting to save your poor eyes from viewing anymore. Renjun is quick to take notice of the lack of drink in your hand though. "You're not drinking? Again?"

"Don't feel like having a hangover tomorrow."

"I'm starting to think you're a party pooper."

"Think?" You pause, as you make eye contact. "You know very well that I'm a party pooper."

"I didn't want to have to say it!"

"Say what?" A voice speaks as you instantly recognize who it is. He's slinging his arms over you and Renjun's shoulders, you being quick to brush it off.

"Can you leave me alone?"

"Why? So you can chat up Renjun? I'm protecting him."

"Only thing Renjun needs protection from is you."

Haechan raises a brow at that. "At least I know how to have a good time, misses sober."

You cringe at his newfound nickname for you. "Get lost."

"Only if you get loose."

That was by far, the weirdest thing a guy has ever said to you at a party. And trust me, you've been told many things at parties before. "Is that a challenge?"

"Depends, you up to it?" Haechan smirks that stupid grin of his.

Renjun's quick to pull on your arm, pulling you back to reality. "You don't have to if you don't want to."

"Okay Lee," You ignore the boy beside you. "I'll bite."

"Save that for the bedroom princess."

You and Renjun both look disgusted at that. "Fuck off, you know what I meant. Meet me at the beer pong table, and we'll see who really gets loose."

It only takes an hour and half for you to regret this weird thing you and Haechan had going. It consisted of matching shots with him, as well as chugging as many beers as he did. You didn't even like beer that much, it was just the competitiveness flowing in you that made you continue to down the fuzzy liquid. You could keep up, you had to, you had to make this idiot eat his words.

But a little voice kept etching in the back of your head, why did you care so much? You barely knew this guy, you didn't even know the simplist thing about him, like his major or favorite color.

Well, then again, you didn't need to know all that to know you wanted to beat him in this imaginary game you're playing. No rules at all, just drinking and drinking, a competition to see who could hold their alcohol, and maybe you were losing.

Stumbling to take a seat on a.. bean bag? You get engulfed as you sink in, mind as heavy as your limbs feel. You barely able to lift your head to look around the room, taking note of a few familiar faces here and there. Chaewon and Yeji are dancing in the crowd, Jaemin and Renjun are cashing out on bets of who'd get the drunkest tonight, and Karina and Jeno are nowhere to be found. Amazing, now you probably couldn't go home. Hopefully you could just crash at Chaewon's.

"Feeling it yet?" Haechan slurs into your ear as he sits on the beanbag to your right. He's well past the point of drunk, likely slightly worse than you, seeing as he was drinking before you had arrived.

"Nope." You lie, barely able to make eye contact with him. Why was it so hot in here? Were you sweating?

Haechan quirks his head to the side. "Liarrr."

You shift your eyes. "You're more wasted than me."

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Alright you win." Haechan mumbles, throwing his head back into the seat. "Wanna get out of here?"

"Ew!" You reject, still having half a brain.

"Not like that," He says, words mushing together, and you can tell hes being honest. "Let's go swing on the swing set."

"Mark has a swing set?!" You sit up, practically yelling like it was the greatest discovery ever made.

He matches your energy. "The neighbors do! I'll even push you on it."

You just nod rapidly as you grab his hand and lead him off the bean bag, eyes following curiously as Yeji wonders why the hell you're holding Haechan's hand in yours. You definitely wouldn't remember this tomorrow.

Haechan pushes the patio door open, you two spotting the playground that must've been from years ago. Yet, this didn't detour you as you raced to it, barely able to keep up with the boy beside you.

Not because he was fast, but because you could barely stay on your own two feet without falling over. Haechan helps though, a steady grip on you as he helps you onto the swing.

"Woah!" You yelp, as you almost fall off of it, forgetting to grab the sides.

Haechan's quick to stop you and laughs as you can barely keep your head up. "You're in another world."

You lift your face up slightly, "Yeah? Then you're on another planet."

"Another planet is closer than another world!"

"Aren't they the same thing?"

Haechan's silent for a minute as he thinks. "I don't know."

You laugh, way too loud for your liking, but what did it matter? It was just you and Haechan here, and you could care less what he thought. "You know, you're cooler when you're drunk."

It's quiet for a beat before Haechan puts his hand on his heart, pretending to wince out in pain. "I'm cool all the time"

"Nuh uh," You argue back, childishly. "When we got here, the first thing you did was make fun of me! Then you dragged me into this."

"It's a game! It's fun!" He waves his hands around.

It's truly funny how things worked. A week ago, you didn't even know who Lee Haechan was. And an hour ago, you wouldn't have been caught dead with him alone. Yet, here you were, laughing as you try to keep your grip on the swing as he pushes you. Almost falling off balance a few times, but manages to keep himself up.

The breeze blows from behind you, almost giving you goosebumps with a lack of a jacket. Your mind vaguely begins to wonder what time it was, the pitch blackness of the neighborhood (Minus a few streetlights) throwing you off.

"You're more fun when you drink too." Haechan yells, even though you're directly in front of him. "Not pushing me away and running, or slamming doors in my face!"

"You deserved that!" You giggle as he stops pushing you, sitting on the swing next to you to take a break.

He stares at the stars for a few minutes before he looks at you. You look so cute, even in such dull lighting. Haechan leans in a little closer, to where you can almost smell the alcohol on his breath. "You look really pretty."

You can't help the way your heart quickens, but you shake your head, deducing it to be all the drinks in your system. Sober you would never react this way to Lee Haechan. The man of your nightmares.

Or so you told yourself.

You lean in a bit further, his eyes never leaving yours. "I know."

Haechan's taken aback but before he can reply, his name's being shouted across the back. "Haechan! Are you out here?"

"No!" Haechan yells in response, watching as the shadow of a person approaches them, leaves crunching beneath their feet.

Mark's face falls in relief as he notices you with Haechan. "Man we've been looking everywhere for you. Karina said she couldn't find Yn either."

You stand up from the swing, leaving Haechan sitting by himself. "I should be getting home."

Mark just looks between you two, confusion across his face. Since when had you gotten close with Haechan? He could've sworn you two were arguing earlier, even when you arrived at the party. Was he missing something? "Jaemin will drive you."

"I can drive her." Haechan says, ironically as he nearly tumbles over himself attempting to get on his feet again. He fishes his keys from his pocket and waves them around as Mark snatches them from his grip.

"You're not driving anywhere." Mark rolls his eyes. "Renjun's taking you home too."

And like a dad caring for his children, he leads you both back inside, careful not to let Haechan run off to who knows where. (He had a tendency of doing that.)

"But it's not even midnight!" Haechan protests, with his head down.

"It's two in the morning!" Mark corrects as he shakes his head, grabbing Haechan by the arm. Your eyes widen, was it really that late already? Time flew by weirdly fast with Haechan. Not that you enjoyed it or anything, must've just been the alcohol. Yeah, definitely.

"But I don't wanna leave her." Haechan says, prying himself off of Mark and onto you. Clinging to you like you were best friends. You, not knowing better in your state, hug him back.

"You two look like idiots." Mark comments, trying to separate you guys, the both of you telling him to stop. Your grip on each other tightening with every tug.

"Wait!" Yeji catches up to you, smirking as she pulls her phone out. "Let me take a picture first."

You just hum, drunkenly posing for the photo as Haechan throws a peace sign up. The two of you with stupid smiles on your faces. Idiots, that would be the correct thing to say about you guys now.

"Okay," Renjun approaches, eyes heavy as he just wants to go to sleep right about now. He tries to pull the other off of you, but you tighten your grip as well. "Haechan, let's go!"

He shakes his head and Renjun just about gives up as he throws his hands in the air. "Find your own way home."

Haechan nuzzles into you for about two more minutes before he registers what Renjun said. "Oh no! Renjun's leaving me!"

You just nod and Haechan lets go of you, running towards the front door as he yells a small goodbye to you. You yell back across the house, and he shoots you a thumbs up as he almost trips over the steps leading outside.

You pout slightly as you watch him go, your source of warmth being gone now. Oh well, you start looking around for your roommate, but you spot Jeno in the kitchen alone without her. Where the hell did she go? Didn't matter, you were just going to relax on the couch now.

It would be okay to close your eyes for a minute right?

Well, you closed your eyes for a bit longer than a minute. In fact, when you opened them next, there was sunlight shining through the living room windows.

The headache hits you first, feeling like you had been ran over as your whole body was sore. Likely from the amount of dancing and running you had done. You even vaguely recall going outside. To swing? With Haechan?

You sit up, a little fast for your head, and look around. You spot Chaewon and Karina on the couch across from you, legs intermingled as they hugged, they must've been wasted when they went to sleep too. You can see Yeji's jacket still on the couch, registering the sound of a toilet flushing.

Why was it so loud? You throw your head back on the couch as Yeji enters the living room. "You're up." She whispers, sitting down on the love seat next to you.

"Yeah, where are we?" You groan back.

"Mark's house." She answers back, watching your facial expressions. "Do you really not remember?"

"No." You rub your eyes, the headache still present.

"So you definitely shouldn't check your phone." Yeji laughs, picking your phone up from the ground and throwing it in your lap.

You place your phone beside you. "Why are we at Mark's house?"

Yeji leans back. "Jaemin ended up getting too drunk to drive us. Mark offered to call us an uber but he couldn't find his phone. He tried to find Renjun too but he had already left. Then Mark just gave up and went to bed. Jaemin and Jeno are asleep in the other room."

You barely even process all of that as you just raise your eyebrows , picking up your device. And to your surprise, its full of notifications, yet all from one app.

There, laying on your Instagram dashboard, is a photo of you and a clearly drunk Haechan. He's leaning into your face, the sides of your faces pressed together inside the small frame. He's smiling that stupid little smirk and you're grinning widely. To make matters worse, its accumulated the most likes you've ever seen on your page. There's tons of comments too, most stating how cute you two are. The others commenting that they didn't even think you knew each other. There were a few random ones too, talking about couple goals and how you made the explore page. What?!

Your finger hovers over the button to delete the post, but it is a rather cute picture. Despite the fact that you were going to kill whoever posted it on your page, maybe you'd keep it.

"Who the hell posted me and Haechan?!" You speak, not caring for the volume you were speaking at. It was in fact ten already, hopefully no one would mind too much.

Yeji shushes you, "I don't know-"

"It was Jaemin." Chaewon nods, shifting to get Karina off of her, though the latter doesn't move a bit. But when had Chaewon even woken up?

Your eyes widen, getting up as you're blinded by the need to cuss Jaemin out. Entering the first room you come across, you spot Mark asleep in his bed, Jaemin and Jeno on the floor.

You lean down and smack Jaemin, waking him up as he looks startled. "Mom?"

"No!?" You yell, shaking him by his shoulders. "Why did you post that photo?"

"What photo?"

"Motherfu-"

"He was drunk." Mark sits up, rubbing his eyes, making you feel slightly guilty for waking him too. "Why don't you just delete it?"

"It has a few thousand likes already!"

"You're famous?"

You shake your head. "No, but this means all of his fangirls are going to be at my door this morning after our post made the explore page."

"So what you're saying is," Jaemin pauses, looking at you. "I made you famous? You should be thanking me."

"What the fuck?" You blurt out, "I'm going to strangle you."

Jaemins eyes grow big as you reach towards him, he struggles to avoid your hands. "I just thought it was a cute picture! You guys looked so friendly!"

"Well we're not! I'm not even friends with him!"

"You are after last night." Mark comments, looking around for Jeno's shirt. You had been so distracted that you didn't even notice the half naked boy across the room as he slept. Then you realize Mark's words, you two were friendly last night? You'd rather dive into a dumpster than hang out with Haechan. Well, apparently not?

"I'm going home." You give up. "Sorry for sleeping on your couch Mark."

The latter just shrugs. "Anytime, I don't mind."

What a weird guy.

You locate your keys in a bowl on the kitchen table, promptly placed there with many others after Jaemin had confiscated all your keys. You look over to Karina on the couch and decide you don't want to be the one to wake her, she was usually grumpy when hungover. Eh, Jeno can drive her home.

After grabbing your jacket and making your way to where your car sits, you gape in horror. "Someone vomited on my car?!"

FOUR, THEY CONFUSE BEING FRIENDLY FOR FLIRTING.

This one was one you had seen time and time again. You've experienced it first hand, as well as had to swoop in and save your friends from it. It always goes the same, every time. A boy approaches you, usually meeting for the first time, and takes your friendliness as a sign of being interested.

Like the time Chaewon had to awkwardly explain to the worker at the Van's store that she wasn't giving him her phone number, she just wanted him to look up her loyalty account for points. To which he had insisted that she was smiling at him so much, how could he not think she wanted to give him her number?

Or when Karina and you were at Starbucks and she held the door open for a guy to walk in. He then immediately turned around and asked her for her Instagram so they could talk. Then when she said she wasn't interested, he walked away angrily.

Moral of the story: Men always think you're hitting on them just because you're being nice.

More than half of the time, they're wrong.

This is why you're not friendly.

However, your judgement seems to be impaired when you're drunk. Considering how your attitude with Lee Haechan had died down, he took it as a sign of a new bestfriend. And even worse, he thinks he can flirt with you.

He's even managed to convince himself that you're desperately in love with him, teasing you every time he sees you.

Karina thinks it's hilarious as you complain to her, "He's just naturally flirty."

You roll your eyes. "He thinks I'm in love with him!"

"Maybe you are." She responds and you don a repulsed look on your face.

"Me? In love with Lee Haechan? Never."

"Your adamance on not being in love with him is suspicious."

"How?!" You ask as you continue to finish off the last of the bows that you were crocheting for Renjun's bunny. He had decided last minute that he wanted the bunny to have cute accessories, so he had set you up to the task as a repayment for teaching you how to crochet at all.

"Well for one, you've been spending an awful lot of time with each other." She points out and you hate that she's right. These past few weeks since the party, they boy has been glued to your hip.

"Not voluntarily. He follows me everywhere!" You respond.

"You go to his apartment!"

"Because Renjun lives there." You reason, and it was true. Renjun was a friend, and you were learning something from him. Why wouldn't you be at his apartment? "I don't go to see Haechan!"

"Are you sure?" Karina quirks a brow and you look at her in disgust.

"Yes I'm sure."

"Okay, so what about you leaving that post up?"

"What post?" You feign, knowing full well what she was referring to.

"You're insufferable." She replies. "And in love with Lee Haechan."

You almost throw the needle at her. "Nope. Nuh uh, not in love with him."

"So why is he coming over right now."

"We're going to help Renjun ask his crush out, remember?"

She shakes her head. "I zone you out sometimes."

You scoff. "Worst roommate ever."

"Yeah yeah, heard it all before." She giggles as she continues scrolling through her phone. The door bell rings though, and she decides to do you one and get the door while you put your shoes on.

You immediately hear the voices of the boys as soon as the door opens, both greeting Karina as they enter.

You ignore the small talk though, "How are we feeling, Renjun?"

"Nervous." He responds, deadpanning. He wipes his palms on his jeans, sweaty and all clammy.

"You'll be fine!" You assure him. "She's like in love with you."

"Yup," Haechan agrees. "Just like how Yn is in love with me!"

"Shut up!"

"You didn't even deny it!"

"Gross," Renjun interrupts. "This is about me right now, can we go back to focusing on me?!"

"Yeah, sorry." You respond, knowing Renjun was worried out of his mind. It's all for no reason though, you know his crush returns his feelings. There's nothing to worry about, he shouldn't be so worried.

But, as you thought, he didn't listen to a single thing you said. He had barely even managed to calm his heart when you dropped him off at the restaurant he had invited her to. You and Haechan shoot him a thumbs up, the other muttering some words of encouragement to him, that apparently made him all the more nervous, but at least he was trying.

You remind Renjun to call you when you needed to pick him up, wishing him the best of luck. Though, as Haechan commented, hopefully his crush would be taking him home after this.

You just hit him in his shoulder.

Unfortunately, you never thought about the aftermath of this situation. It seemed normal on paper, two of Renjun's good friends drop him off for a gut wrenching date, offering their support.

Now what? Were you two just supposed to wait around? Should you go back to their apartment? Or should you drop Haechan off and just go home? You underestimated what you were getting yourself into here.

"So?" The male speaks before you can, raising his brows at you. "Got any confessions of your own?"

"Here's one, I think you're annoying."

"See, I already knew that. Not much of a confession." He sticks his tongue out, turning to face you as you keep your eyes on the road. You're quiet as he speaks again. "Well I actually have a confession, if you'd like to hear it."

"I don't, Haechan."

He rolls his eyes as he moves on. "Enough with the Haechan! Call me Donghyuck, like my friends do."

"We're not friends." You maintain, raising your brows.

"Yes we are! You just won't admit it!" He whines, not taking his eyes off you of you. "Doesn't matter, I'm still going to confess."

"Go on." You say, a hint of amusement in your tone. You were actually kind of curious on what he wanted to say.

"I want to take you on a date."

You scoff, of course that was it. "Lot's of other guys want to take me on dates."

"I'm not other guys!" He defends, whining in your ear.

"You're right." You begin, turning to face him back. "You're worse."

He lets out a wail at that. "Look, it doesn't have to be a fancy date or anything! Just let me buy you dinner, or take you to Dave & Busters!"

"Dave & Busters?!" You laugh, did he really take girls there? Not that you minded it but, this was Haechan we were talking about. You didn't take him as the type to take a girl out there on a first date. Huh, the more you know.

"Please," He puts his hands together, with pleading eyes. "Pretty please."

It sounded fun, that you'd admit. But you didn't really want to spend endless energy, and money, trying to win rigged arcade games and claw machines. "How about this? You buy me a pizza and a cinnamon roll from the mall food court and I'll let you think it's a date."

"Then it's a date!" He bats his eyes, smiling ear to ear.

..

It's been three hours. Three hours of radio silence from you and Haechan. Renjun figures he'll just send a bomb to your house. Nice and prettily wrapped with a bow, noted that it's from him. In this scenario, Haechan is with you as well, and you two just get blown up. To smithereens. Yes, that was a perfect scenario.

Renjun's not even in a bad mood, in fact, he's quite overjoyed that his confession was returned. His (Now) girlfriend beaming as she hugged the knitted animal, saying how Renjun was so romantic and how she felt the same way. He even got to kiss her!

However, this now brings him to an empty apartment, having taken the bus with her so he could walk her home safely. He had thought about just calling you to let you know, but he figured you'd answer later.

Now though, he feels really weird. His roommate is usually blowing up his phone, no matter the situation, yet he hasn't heard a word from him all day. So to say this was odd, was an understatement.

He's barely left to think for long before Haechan literally comes barreling through the door, you following right behind him.

You're both bickering playfully about something, you talking with your hands as Haechan tries to speak louder than you. "I told you that you were going to lose!"

"You cheated!"

Neither of you even greet Renjun, it's like he's not even there, though he's literally standing right in the kitchen. And Renjun can't say he approves of the sight.

You continue on talking. "You're just a sore loser!"

"You were taking basketballs from my side!"

"Well hey to you too," Renjun drags, waving his arm sarcastically. "I'm here, if you hadn't noticed."

"Oh my god, Renjun!" You say, grabbing him by his shoulders. "How did it go? I'm so sorry, this idiot made us go to Dave & Busters after the mall! Then, my phone died and Hyuck left his here and-"

Renjun raises a hand to stop you, getting straight to the point. Trying to hide by how he was slightly caught off guard by you and his friend spending so long together, alone. "I'm fine, she accepted my confession. We're dating now."

You squeal. "Renjun has a girlfriend! Hyuck, Renjun has a girlfriend!"

"Maybe you can stop being so moody all the time now!" Haechan pokes, squeezing the other in a hug. "I'm so proud of you, never thought you'd do it!"

"Well, I believed in you!"

Renjun smiles, "That's great. Actually, can I talk to you for a minute?"

You look confused, realizing that Renjun's looking at you. "Sure, walk me out to my car?"

He nods and Haechan wraps his arms around you, to which you push him off. "Go shower!"

"Aye aye, captain!" He salutes, causing you to giggle, before waving bye to you as Renjun waits. "Text me when you get home!"

You shoot him a thumbs up and turn to head out the door, Renjun following behind you eagerly. You wondered what he was going to talk to you about. Its funny, you felt like a child awaiting a scolding, just a tad bit scared.

He walks slowly next to you for a couple seconds as he closes his door, walking you to his complexes elevator. He looks a little nervous, opting to stare at his shoes as he speaks. "I"m going to ask you something, and I need you to be honest."

"Okay." You answer, a little warily. He was freaking you out with how formal he was being.

"Do you like Haechan?"

You open your mouth. "As a friend, yeah."

He shakes his head. "No, I mean, as in do you have a thing for him?"

"Why would you think that?"

"For starters, you called him Hyuck, twice. And then, you two spent three hours on a date, apparently forgetting about everyone else."

"It wasn't a date."

"Listen to me, he takes all his flings to Dave & Busters, okay? That's kind of his thing, I think it's weird personally, but it's tradition since he did it with his first one." He stops as he tries to figure out how to word things.

You just stare back blankly. Of course you didn't think it was special, he was simply taking you to hang out. It wasn't a date so why wouldn't he take you there?

"I want to know because, I used to be really good friends with this girl a while back. Everything was cool until Haechan got his hands on her, then it turned into this whole mess, and she ended up hating me for it. All because she had tried to get serious with him, and he just hated the thought of tied down."

You lean against the elevator wall. "But why-"

"I'm telling you this because I value our friendship and I don't want you to get hurt. Haechan's my friend, yes, but hes a really shitty guy to be with. I don't want to lose you too, just take this as a warning."

You nod calmly, but your stomach is turning. "Thanks anyways, but I don't like him like that, we're just being friendly."

You were lying straight through your teeth, even if you didn't know it yet.

FIVE, THEY'RE EASY TO FALL IN LOVE WITH?

You hadn't seen, spoken to, or thought of Haechan in a week. (The last one might be a lie, but what is that they say? Fake it 'till you make it?) But you decided to heed your friends warning, maybe you were getting too attached. Goodness knows you can be the type to get too comfortable with someone, not expecting to have the rug pulled out from under you. At least this way you were prepared, right?

What you couldn't avoid, unfortunately, was your friends pestering you about the sudden disconnection from the male. Apparently, Jeno had spread word about it to Karina, and it just fueled her theories.

She had pestered you about six different times this week alone as to why you had been dodging Haechan. You'd always just shrug and say you were busy, but she wasn't buying it. The girl lived with you, she knew something was up.

You had spent less time with Renjun as well, only meeting once at a cafe for lunch, but that could just be attributed to his newly attained girlfriend as well. So you used that as your main excuse for not swinging by the apartment.

Haechan had no idea what he had done, why the radio silence all of a sudden? Had he made you uncomfortable? Did you really not want to go to Dave & Busters? Was something wrong?

Had you found out?

No, threre is no way you could've found out. Jaemin's plan was foolproof, and Jeno was airtight, nothing was going to slip. At least, that was what he hoped.

You're currently sat in Yeji's room, Karina and Chaewon having lost a game of who had to go buy the food. (You had all played rock, paper, scissors for it.)

So the two of you sit cross legged on the floor, sliding beads onto bracelets. Sure, people might deem this a little childish to do at your grown age, but you could truly care less. It was a fun little thing and all of you got to have matching ones, like middle school kids.

Yeji hands you a bucket of letter beads, noting how you nearly finished one side of colored ones. Then she winks, "Who's name is going on it?"

"Mine," You look at her confused. "Who else?"

"Oh, I don't know," She rolls her eyes. "Maybe Haechan's?"

You almost knock over the container. "Not you too!"

"What?!"

"Karina is already up my ass about him! We're just friends." You frown. "There's nothing going on between us."

"Well, I think either you're lying, or you're too dumb to see it. Both are very plausible." She laughs. "I'm just surprised, didn't think he'd be the one to change things."

"He hasn't changed anything." You chide, and you believed it. Somewhat? Everything felt the same, it wasn't like you shot heart eyes at the boy every time he was around. You two just simply got along, in the same way you and Renjun did. Sure, you and him never spent as much time alone as you and Haechan, but that was just 'cause he was so clingy. Surely not because of anything else.

"He's the only boy you don't yell about! I haven't seen you like this since-" Yeji stops herself before she can go on.

You whip your head up, her face guilty as she regrets having opened her mouth. "Since Sunwoo? Is that really what you were going to say?"

She defends, "I didn't mean to!"

"I know," You agree, you choose to stay calm. You know she meant well, she'd never say it to hurt you. "I just don't like to bring him up. That's all."

"But my point still stands."

"And we all know how things ended with Sunwoo. He ended up breaking my heart into tiny little bite sized pieces. Thank you for reminding me exactly why I hate boys again." You go back to your bracelet, trying not to think about your ex-boyfriend.

She sighs, "I'm sorry."

"For what?" You shake her off. "Not your fault he was the world's worst boyfriend."

"I was out of line." She apologizes again, though you're already over it.

"It's alright. Everyone thinks I like Haechan anyways. Even Renjun pulled me away and started going on a spiel of how I need to be careful." You start, not noticing the look Yeji's giving you.

"So, you don't?"

"I don't.." You trail, hating how you're even thinking about it. "I don't know."

She sits up. "Wait a minute-"

"I just enjoy spending time with him." You admit, but you feel like you're about to throw up. You couldn't believe you felt this way. You couldn't afford to, not again. "More than I do with the others anyways. Can we move on?"

Yeji seems reluctant but nods, looking over into her kitchen space. "Jaemin's been spending a lot of time here, broke my favorite mug."

"The one with the cat on it?" You gasp, more worried for the cup than the boy.

"Yes! The one Ryujin made me in her pottery class!"

"I'd kick him out!" Your jaw drops, knowing how Ryujin would've dragged that poor boy across the floor.

She just feigns annoyance. "Chaewon would have a cow! The two are like bestie's now."

"Seem's like you're all teasing the wrong person!" You stick your tongue out.

"Nope, she honors the pact!" Yeji responds, "Like a lot."

"You're all stupid."

"Hey!"

You two are stopped by the sound of the keypad outside beeping as the code buzzes incorrectly. "Open up! Karina's making me carry all the bags!"

"I literally have soda's in both hands!" The other yells as you get up to get the door, Yeji toddling behind you with a half made bracelet in her hand.

The girls barrel in, rushing to place the food down on the counter as you and Yeji itch to get your hands on the bags.

Karina falls into conversation with Yeji over the wait time when you feel your phone buzzing in your pocket. You pull it out to see Haechan calling you? That was weird, he had never really called you. You two barely even texted since you gave him your number last week.

You just excuse yourself and step into Yeji's bedroom, answering the unusual call. "Hello?"

"Finally! Well, where the hell have you been?!" The voice on the other end pesters.

"What? I've been busy." You lie, tightening your grip on the phone.

"I miss you." He blurts out suddenly, the words making your heart drop. Sure, he had said tons of flirty stuff to you before, but now that you were slightly aware of some feelings? Yeah, this was making your heart race. His comment is followed by silence, neither of you speaking.

You manage to collect yourself, putting on your bickering tone. "Shut up."

"I'm serious! Let's do something tomorrow. Just you and I, wanna show you something."

"What could you possibly want to show me?"

"Besides my dick?" Of course he'd never miss an opportunity to make that kind of joke. What was he, fourteen? But you hated how it made you laugh.

"That's fucking gross." You make a fake-vomiting noise.

"No but all jokes aside," He begins again, speaking quieter through your device. "I'll see you here at 5?"

"I don't know," You respond, staring at your shoes as you think about it.

"Well then who knows?"

One day couldn't hurt, right? You'd spend time with him again and realize that you two are just platonic friends. Yeah, everyone wanted to make it so complicated, when it wasn't like that. Surely, you'd feel at ease after confirming things. "See you at five."

..

"You're ditching us?!" Chaewon's jaw slacks as you shake your head.

"Ditching? I spent all yesterday and this morning with you guys, don't be dramatic." You say as you slip on your shoes.

"For Lee Haechan?!" Karina speaks up, equally as shocked.

"Why are you all so surprised?"

"Because a few months ago, you would've been barking up any tree to get away from him!"

"What does that even mean, Chaewon?"

And the group stills, laughing at what she said. She just leans against the door frame, "Fine, go abandon your friends!"

Yeji pouts before patting the back of a fake-crying Chaewon. "Shame on you."

"I'll be back soon, we all know Karina's going to crash on your couch again anyways." You state, about to open the door.

"Whatever, not my fault you like to sleep toe to toe with Yeji in her bed." She rolls her eyes, referencing to how she had found you this morning. And yes, you were in Yeji's bed, but to say your toes were interlocked? Well..

"Just text us, we were thinking about stopping by Jaemin and Jeno's." Chaewon says, the others nodding their heads.

You shoot them a thumbs up and open the door, not expecting anything that would happen that night.

..

Haechan throws himself on his couch, groaning as he's lost another round of Super Mario Bros. to you. To make it worse, you're just laughing at his defeat, who even knew you were so competitive? He couldn't complain though, you had warn fair and square, unfortunately.

He pushes his soda towards you, a brand he beamed about for the entire day, saying he had picked it up on a grocery trip. (Your friend had whopped him when he realized Haechan brought home the wrong brand, but Haechan actually grew to like it. Well, considering now he had three cases of it, you guess he had no choice.)

He sees your eyes land on the can, before nudging your shoulder. "Try it."

You deny immediately. "I don't know where your mouth has been."

He gasps dramatically as he places a hand on his heart. "You wanna find out?"

"Get me my own and I'll try it." You ignore him as you give in, to which he salutes you and stalks out of the living room like a soldier. That guy was weird.

But the main thing on your mind right now, was what Haechan could possibly be showing you. You two had done nothing for the past hour besides play video games on his couch. So unless the soda brand - Or the potato chips - were what he wanted to show you, then you had no idea.

He returns with the soda, placing it was a clunk on the table, having no idea of your impending thoughts. "Try it and if you like it, then you can have a case."

"So that's what this is." You laugh as you crack the lid. "You're just trying to dump those cases on me."

"No I'm not!" He denies though he smirks a little.

"So," You begin. "What was it that you wanted to show me?"

"All in due time." He teases, grimacing as he downs another can. "Didn't anyone ever tell you that good things come to those who wait?"

"Didn't anyone tell you I was impatient?"

Haechan laughs, brushing his hair from his eyes. "Let's go."

He gets up from the couch, offering you his hand, to which you take. You don't know why, but you trust Haechan. He could lead you to a trap and you'd follow. But you have no idea why.

As you pester as to where it is that you're going, he just tells you to put your seat belt on and not to ask questions. He keeps his patience though, ignoring your whining about this mystery trip.

He just laughed though, telling you how cute you looked when you were pouting. You just shoved him and rolled your eyes, never admitting how hot your face would grow at the random compliments.

Then suddenly, you two were there.

Haechan wouldn't elaborate on what there was. To you, this just looked like a park in the city. But you could tell, with the way he was looking at the trees, this meant something to him.

You two walk up the trail in silence, you choosing not to say anything as he seems determined to get somewhere. You follow without qualms, admiring how dark it was starting to get around this time.

There were families still out though, couples laughing on benches as they fed ducks, and people walking their dogs. It was such a beautiful sight.

Haechan suddenly turns as you make your way up a hill, grabbing your hand as he points to the grass. "Sit with me."

You nod, sitting cross legged on the ground as Haechan stares out into the view. And you can admit, it's breathtaking.

You can see everyone from there. All the people, all the animals, all the trees, you can see it all. You catch glimpses as the sun sets, the sky painted orange as it illuminates the view below.

"It's so pretty." You comment honestly, thankful for the wind on such a hot day, you had never felt more comfortable.

You know why you do though, and it has a lot to do with the boy beside you. The boy you had only known for a few months, but had managed to wring your heart into a knot, he was right here. He made this moment perfect, he made this what it was.

You regret running away, for that week wasted, when you felt like you belonged with him. Your heart swells, and you wish it would stop, but it doesn't cease, not for a second.

Moment's spent with Haechan, they were never a bore, he was someone who you felt genuinely cared about you. Sure, he might have gotten off on the wrong foot with you, but no one was perfect.

He had a past, but damn it, so did you.

You know why you trusted him so much, why you backed away so fast, why you'd follow him anywhere. You knew it all too well.

You couldn't help it, you were in love with him.

"It's beautiful." He responds, resting his head on your shoulder.

You hum back, "Why did you bring me here?"

He turns towards you. "To do this."

Haechan cups your face, tilts it towards him, and then leans in as your lips meet. You don't move for a minute, taken aback by the sudden action, but when you regain your senses you kiss him back.

He pulls off a little before you grab the nape of his neck and bring him in again. You can't get enough, you love the taste of Lee Haechan, you feel like you could kiss him forever. You want to kiss him forever.

You separate again to breathe for a moment but he's pushing your lips back together, it seems the feeling was mutual.

You know you two look like horny teenagers just making out on a hill, something straight our of a coming-of-age movie. But you couldn't care less, you didn't care about what anyone thought of you. All that mattered right now was the boy in front of you.

And loving someone? It never felt this right.

..

You walk into your apartment wearing a dopey smile, Karina texting you that they she had went home, and you're thankful because your pillow sounds so good right now.

After the sunset, Haechan had took you to eat at a small diner, then to a little box arcade to pummel you in every shooting game out there. So, for lack of better word, you were exhausted.

You and Haechan didn't talk about the kiss after, he just smiled at you and then told you he liked you. You'd never felt such butterflies in your life, not even with your ex-boyfriend. It was different.

You call out for your roommate when you walk further in, turning on your lights as she responds. "Can you come here for a minute?"

You walk into her room, seeing Yeji and Chaewon on her bed. You giggle at the two. "Need me to help you move them?"

But she's not laughing, serious as she looks at you. "Maybe we should talk in the living room."

Your heart races. Did something bad happen? Was she okay? Were the others okay? Did the boys piss her off? There were a million things running through your heard at the turn of this night. Nevertheless, you follow her out into the living room, sitting with her. "Is everything alright? You're scaring me with how serious you're being."

She looks down at your attempt to lighten the mood. "As you know, we went to see the boy's today."

You nod, scared to speak. You even feel guilty, but you know you did nothing wrong, why did it seem like you were in trouble?

Karina continues, "They started drinking, a lot. But I stayed sober because I'm having breakfast with my mom tomorrow, remember?"

And now, its oddly apparent to you how she seems to be beating around the bush. You lean in, "Did something happen, Karina?"

"Well, Jeno and I were talking in his room, and all of a sudden Jaemin walks in, drunk obviously. Talking about how he won, and the bet's off now. I thought he was talking about sports or that sort of thing, but then he mentions Haechan." She avoids your eyes.

"What are you saying?" You whisper, meekly.

"Long story short, I got out of Jeno that-" She closes her mouth, and you can see her trying to word it, but your patience is running thin. "Jaemin payed Haechan to talk to you."

"What?!" You exclaim, standing up from where you were sitting. No, no that couldn't be right, that couldn't be true. It barely even made any sense. "Why would he do that?"

Karina stands as well, muttering two words. "The pact."

And it clicks in your head.

"He thought if anyone could sweep you off your feet, it'd be Haechan. So he messaged him randomly and set this whole thing up. He figured if the bet was broken, he could get a chance with Chaewon."

"So he," You start, struggling to speak. "Payed Haechan to make me fall in love. For this stupid pact I didn't even ask to be apart of?!"

"I'm so sorry, I had no idea. Once Jeno told me, I told him I never wanted to see him again! And look I know it doesn't even matter because you don't care-" She pauses as she looks at you, stunned at the sight. "Are you crying?"

And you let out another choked sob at that, her rushing to your side immediately. Your tears are flowing as you rub at your eyes, overwhelmed by the emotions taking over you. "Why are you crying?"

"I loved him."

She staggers back. "You.."

"And this happens." You continue to bawl. "This keeps happening, and I don't know why it keeps happening to me!"

Karina pats your hair as she hugs you. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"I know! I know, I didn't! So why do boys keep doing this to me?! Why do I keep getting used?!" You cry, the words slipping out. "First you, and now Chaewon. Will no one ever just love me?!"

Karina tightens her hug on you, she knows it hurts, she was there. She held you a year and a half ago when you broke up with Sunwoo. Weeping in her arms as you recalled a text message you had viewed on his phone. How he was only using you to get to Karina. She hated him, she hated his entire being, and she still does.

But you didn't love Sunwoo. No, you liked him a lot but love? That was never there. You cried because he treated you like garbage, not because your heart was broken.

She can practically hear it shattering now.

You want to throw something, anything. You want to stomp into Haechan's apartment and throw shit around, making him hurt the way you are. You feel anger, and you feel hurt.

But what you feel most of all, is fear.

You still don't want to lose him, and that's what hurts the most.

SIX, THEY'RE NOT SO EASY TO HATE

When you were fifteen, you wrote a list. Clear cut and simple, straight to the point. It listed six reasons why you hated boys. And so far, to this day, every word has held true.

Sure, people might sit and laugh about it now. Say how it's outdated and how it's rude to generalize an entire gender because of personal experience, but you'd beg to differ.

You lean your head back against your car seat, sniffling as you sit. It's about twelve in the morning at this point, but you can't bring yourself to feel tired. You don't know what to do, you don't even know where you're going. So you go back to the root of this, the boy you thought you could trust. Huang Renjun.

You typed the name easily, not even expecting him to pick up. You don't know what you're going to say, you were so filled with anger that you could explode.

"Hey, what're you doing up so late?" The soft voice chimes as he picks up, half asleep as he yawns.

You burst into tears. "You were my friend?! How could you do this to me?! I trusted you!"

You can hear him shuffling around as you assume he sits up in his bed. "Hello? What? Yn?"

You grit your teeth. "Don't play stupid now, I found out. Are you happy? I know you set me up!"

"Set you up? Are you drunk right now or-"

"Don't you dare!" You scream into the phone. "What, did they promise you a cut of the money? Or did they tell you-"

"What are you talking about?" He yells back, completely confused. "Who promised me money?"

You start crying even more. "I hate you so much, you're just as fake as Haechan."

"Haechan? What do I have to do with him?"

"Do I have to spell it out for you!? Why won't you just admit you helped Jaemin and Jeno?!" Your voice is horse now from the yelling and your eyes rubbed raw from the crying.

"Yn." He calms, lowering his voice. "Talk to me, what did they do?"

His tone takes you off guard, wasn't he just screaming back at you? "Do you really not know?"

"Know what - Please, you have to help me out here - I don't know anything." He responds, and you want so terribly to believe him. He had your back, he warned you, he probably saw all of this coming.

But boys lie, that you know for certain.

"So you don't know that Jaemin bribed Haechan to get me to break that fucking pact?" You curse, voice low, and you hold your breath for his answer.

"He did what?" Renjun speaks, sighing. "And Haechan went through with it? That's so typical of him, but you know what? I warned you."

"Are you trying to preach to me right now?!" You say, pissed off.

"No- Fuck, I'm so sorry." And you can hear him sit down on his bed. "I swear to you, I didn't know about this. They probably didn't tell me on purpose, please, I can't lose you too."

"Renjun," You speak in the mic. "What am I gonna do now?"

"What do you mean?"

"I liked him a lot."

And the other end is silent.

..

If Renjun hadn't proved his friendship to you yet, now was definitely his time to show out. Well, judging by how he's literally tearing up the dance floor for your amusement? Yeah, he's gone above and beyond.

You laugh at him from your little booth, sat next to the guy he had brought along, Renjun's girlfriend across from you as she giggles at her boyfriend.

Her name is Heejin, and she practically crushed you with a hug earlier. Telling you all about how shes begged Renjun to meet the girl responsible for making her precious bunny those bows. Also laughing and giggling about how pretty you were, cheeks slightly red.

The boy beside you was Yangyang, a cousin who Renjun was convinced would make you head over heels. ("Hyuck and him are both stupid!" He had said, trying to point out their similiarities. "And both medium ugly, so they have a lot in common! Give him a chance.) But Renjun was mistaken because you didn't want a boy like Haechan, you wanted Haechan. And it stung.

Yangyang was funny though, and he was polite but it had only been a few weeks since you ghosted Haechan. You weren't ready or open to the idea of anyone new just yet. Yangyang didn't seem to mind though, he was just here for a good time, which he seemed to be having as he made you down a matching shot with him.

"Haechan's a total asshole." Heejin suddenly spouts, likely from having too much to drink. "I would've fallen in love with you for free!"

"Right?!" Yangyang shouts over the music. "Wait, who's Haechan?"

You groan, "Thank you, Heejin."

She sits up. "No problem, and I'm glad you came out with us tonight! Renjun said he hadn't seen you in weeks, I almost thought I'd never get to meet you."

"No seriously," Yangyang speaks, looking around. "Who is Haechan?"

"Okay, you're both trashed." You laugh, staring at your unfinished drink, pretending to stir it. Moving, you slip your heels back on.

"Awee, are you leaving?" Heejin pouts, and you shake your head at the sweet girl. "No, I'm just going to pee. Think you'll be okay?"

She just nods and you stand, pulling your too-tight dress down as you make you way through people. What were you even doing here tonight? Karina had basically kicked you into Renjun's car to leave, saying you needed to be out again. But what was the point anyways? You felt like you finally reached your limit about caring about boys anymore, especially one's that weren't Lee Haechan.

Goodness, there you go again. Thinking about the very person who left you like this, who didn't even fight for you or come looking. He knew what he had done, and you hope it eats at him everyday.

But you also hope he's okay. You hope that, maybe just a tiny part of him actually liked you, and that maybe your absence made a small dent in his life.

But you doubt it, not like you knew anyways. You would ask Renjun but they got into a fight, presumably over what he had done to you, and now the two don't even talk anymore. According to your friend, the other just comes home to sleep, busy going who knows where during the day.

Coming back from the bathroom, you find Renjun having returned, coddling his girlfriend as Yangyang watches with a displeased look on his face. You can relate.

Then you realize something, Renjun is drunk. Which means, he's incapable of taking you home. You confirm this as you and Yangyang, the only one's about to stand by themselves, sling Renjun over your shoulders and walk to his car. You grab the keys from his pockets as he protests. "It's fine, take my car and call us an Uber."

"Are you insane?" You ask, trying to ignore the pain in your arms. "Stuff three drunk people in an Uber and hope they make it home? Who do you think I am?"

But you're a bit thankful that Renjun wants to make things easier for you. You were a big girl though, you could handle driving them to his apartment, even if Haechan was there.

Right, you'd be fine.

That's what you keep repeating as you make the drive, unfamiliar with this car, but driving just fine. You can see Renjun and Heejin cuddling in the rear view, Yangyang sat up front as he stares out the window.

"I've been wondering all night," He speaks, taking you off guard. "What's got you all upset? Is it that Haechan that Heejin mentioned?"

You keep your eyes on the road. "It's embarrassing."

"Well, my girlfriend of four years cheated on me." He speaks, causing you to shift in your seat. The confession offbeat, not expecting his openness. "That's why I'm here, I live an hour and half away. But I can't go to my place knowing she's there, I can't stand to be around her."

"I'm really sorry," You say, sincerity in your voice. "You deserve better."

He just shrugs. "That's not even the embarrassing part. I can't be around her because I know I'll take her back, I still love her. Isn't that weird, loving someone after they did you so wrong?"

"It's not weird." You whisper back.

"Renjun's the one who drove me down here himself, he knows I'm weak. He knows I view love irrationally." Yangyang drops his head.

"That's not irrational, we can't help who we love."

He tries to piece things together. "Did Haechan cheat on you too?"

"No," You respond, gripping the wheel. "Well, we weren't even together."

"So you're upset over someone you weren't with? Ditto. I think we've all been there, I guess the only thing left now is if you think he's worth forgiving." And for how much the boy drank, you hated how he seemed so wise.

"I don't know, I think I was more upset that he didn't reach out. It's like he doesn't care, like I'm not worth chasing."

"Maybe he's giving you space." He suggests. "That's what I'd do."

"Do you think your girlfriend's worth forgiving?" You hated cheaters, and you'd personally never forgive one. So depending on Yangyang's response, will deduce how helpful his advice is.

"Fuck no." He laughs, leaning his head back. "But your situation is different, you didn't catch your partner in bed with her neighbor so."

Your eyes grow big as you stammer. "I-"

"Don't," He stops you. "If anyone else tells me they're sorry again, I think i'll throw up."

You nod. "I get it."

"Anyways, you can still save your situation. Just depends if you think he's worth your time." He yawns, just in time for you to approach Renjun's complex.

You stay silent, unbuckling your seat belt. What was all the contemplation even for? He could very well not even be home.

But those words are swallowed when Renjun's front door is opened, the boy you'd been dreading in front of you. He rubs his eyes, muttering how he could hear Yangyang's loud voice from inside the house.

Then he quiets, eyes meeting yours.

And you missed the sight terribly.

Yangyang grabs his cousin from your side, pushing past Haechan with Heejin following.

You just stare Haechan up and down. He looks down, opening his mouth and then closing it instantly. He has a million things he wants to say, but he doubts you want to hear anything from him.

So you talk first. "Why didn't you come after me?"

He stops. "What?"

"You didn't even call!" You throw your hands up. "I would've heard you out! I would've let you explain, but you didn't even send a text!"

He takes in your words with disbelief. "I- I assumed you didn't want to hear from me and-"

"That's right, you assumed! You didn't even try, you were just going to let me go." You hold back your tears as your eyes well up. "I waited for days, sitting by the phone for an explanation, for you to call and apologize. I would've taken it from you, you idiot!"

Haechan moves forward. "I'm more sorry than you could imagine."

"Was it all just a chore to you? Everything, all of it?"

"Listen to me." He shakes his head. "I didn't take the money, okay? I took it initially, but after the first time we met, I backed out. It felt horrible to keep doing that to someone."

"And yet you still kept following me around?!" You say, not understanding.

"That was because I was interested in you." He says without hesitance. "And after I ruined everything, I just couldn't bear to see you hurt. I feel horrible every day, it's been hell without you."

"You should've called." You meek, a tear running down your face.

"I know, I should've done a lot of things differently. I should've been honest with you sooner, I should've came clean."

"You know what the stupidest part of it all is?" You cross your arms, as you wipe at your eyes. "I would've forgiven you."

"I'm-"

"Because I love you." And you cry. God, you hated yourself right now. Crying because of a boy? And even worse, crying because of a boy? One you hadn't even known that long, but that managed to worm his way into your life, but had also caused you such sadness.

But as Haechan wraps his arms around you, whispering that he loves you back, you know he's someone worth forgiving.

EPILOGUE

As mentioned, you had made a list when you were fifteen. Unleashing your wrath among the male population after another one had cut you clean.

The list read as followed,

6 Reasons I hate boys,

1, They make everything about them.

2, They're liar's.

3, They don't mind thier business.

4, They confuse being friendly for flirting.

5, They're easy to fall in love with.

And 6, They're not so easy to hate.

Haechan cackles as you read it out, shaking his head as he stirs his coffee. "That's ridiculous."

"How so?" You place the paper down as you narrow your eyes, "Every single thing here has been proven."

"Well its not about the contents of the list," He begins, grabbing your hand. "To me, that sounds like a list of things you like about boys."

"What?!"

"C'mon, you like that I'm the center of attention. You also like when I lie to you about drama spoilers you see online to spare your feelings. Hm, and you love when I poke my head into you and Yeji's gossip sessions to give my input." He lists, counting on his fingers.

"And if I didn't confuse you for flirting, then I would've thought you hated me this whole time." He winks as you scrunch your nose. "And the last two are pretty self explanatory."

"Whatever," You roll your eyes. "You're the worst."

"But you're still dating me so."

"Against my will."

He mocks you, quirking his head to the side. "I'm going to make a list of things I love about you, but I think it'd be more than 6."

"Eww," You drag, still not used to such a sweet side of Haechan. "Corny!"

"Let me be corny!" He waves. "As long as it gets you into Renjun's bed with me."

"For the last time," You lower your voice, looking around the coffee shop. "We are not having sex in Renjun's bed!"

"He does it to me!"

"Only as revenge! And you guy's barely got on good terms again, do you really want to push it?"

He thinks about it. "Well.."

"Nope, not happening." You dismiss, looking over to the cafe counter. "Now go get me some of those cookies."

"Anything for you, my love."

And even though he's a boy, who hopelessly fits into your list.

You could never hate Lee Haechan.

Taglist: @fairyofshampgyu @lislis80 @jenoteamo @smwhrinthehazehaze @matchahyuck @ohmykwonsoonyoung @emvrd @allu-23

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[sadbreadloaf]

you. | lee haechan

✰ | pairing : bestfriend!haechan x reader

✰ | genre : angst, a little bit of fluff at the end

✰ | word count : 654

You and your best friend Haechan were just walking around the halls, killing time. You guys would sometimes sit on this certain stairwell and talk for the entire lunch period. You guys would talk about anything, your classes, people, teachers, or any stupid topic you guys thought of. You two were besties, no doubt. But that was it, besties, nothing more, nothing less, right?

As you guys were talking, a new girl started to walk down the stairs. She was in your class, Lilly.

“Woah who’s that?” Haechan asks with a new look in his eye

“Oh that’s Lilly, she’s in my bio class”

Lilly had long black wavy hair that moved from side to side as she walked. She had soft doe eyes and small lips. She wasn’t too tall, not too short and had amazing style. Her make-up fit her so well and looked so pretty.

Over the next few days, Lilly picked up the habit of walking down those same stairs every time you and Haechan were together. Every time she passed by, you would catch him staring. It shouldn’t have bothered you that much, but for some reason, your heart ached. You don’t know why.

“You’ve been looking at her for a while huh?”

“Yeah I guess I have…”

“ooooo you’re in loveeee,” you giggle.

You mean that in a teasing way, as you always do, but something doesn’t feel right when you say it.

From that moment on, he was so obsessed. Haechan would talk about her outfit of the day or the different types of hairstyles she would pull off. Every time she smiled at him or waved, he would smile so widely and blush. He was head over heels.

You, on the other hand, can only smile. You knew you guys were just friends, but seeing him get so happy over another girl made you… jealous. You used to be one of the only people who could make him laugh, who he could talk to, now all eyes are on Lilly, and you hated it.

“Hey I feel like something’s off about you, are you okay?” he asks.

“No no everything’s fine don’t worry about it”

“Are you sure? Your mind looks like it’s in another world”

Yeah another world where we’re together.

“Yeah, I’m sure. How’s Lilly?”

“Oh my god you won’t believe what she did today-“

There he goes again.

At home, you find yourself lying on your bed for hours. You think about how he describes Lilly so beautifully and so highly. You look at all the pictures he’s taken with you. All your friends tell you that you guys are such couple material. You deny that with a laugh, but inside, it hurts. Why can’t that be you? Why can't he be talking about you? How much he loves and adores you. Why are you just friends? You feel cold tears run down your cheeks after hours of laying there.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

Something’s different today, something’s different about him. Haechan wasn’t giggling as much, rambling about Lilly. He didn’t even react when she passed by today. Something’s wrong.

“Soooo, how’s Lilly today?”

“Oh I guess I haven’t told you yet…”

“woah what happened?”

“s-she has a boyfriend”

“Oh.”

You felt some joy in your heart as you thought you had a chance, but he looks so sad. You’ve never seen him like this before, tears are running down his cheeks. You don’t know what to say or do. All you can do is hug him. He hugs you back tightly, releasing all his sadness into you. You can feel his tears soak your shirt, but you don’t care, you want to be there for him.

“Hey, I’m here for you, don’t worry”

You can feel him start to relax and his sniffles are toning down.

“Thank you”

Haechan knew who he wanted. He knew who he was made to love. He knew it was you.

#nct angst #nct fluff #nct dream angst #nct dream fluff #nct 127 angst #nct 127 fluff #nct dream imagine #nct 127 imagine #nct imagines #lee haechan angst #lee haechan fluff #lee haechan imagine #haechan fluff #haechan angst

[endthedream]

a sweet melody

pairing: siren!haechan x human!reader (she/her)

summary: Insanity isn’t what she expected to receive when she joined her father and his crew on an expedition, full of men who think she isn’t capable of anything. But it’s all that she got after seeing nothing but endless water every single day. Maybe that’s why her mind started imagining a strange boy who finally shows her the appreciation she deserves. Maybe that’s why she ignores the way she can’t escape the trance he puts her in whenever he sings a melody for her. Or maybe everything is real, and the boy isn’t who he pretending to be.

words: 12.5k

story colour: green

some warnings:

it’s angst, the word “killing” gets mentioned a few times but nothing happens, heavy manipulation

masterlist of ‘nct dream as super natural creatures’

August 2nd, 1878

Day 25 on sea

I don’t remember the feeling of solid ground under my feet. Grass under my toes, touching stone walls or sleeping in a soft bed that isn’t rocking from the waves crashing against the ship.

I don’t remember the taste of air that isn’t filled with salt. The taste of anything other than fish.

I don’t remember not being nauseous every day, not fighting against boredom, not having to talk to myself in order to stay sane. Having to remind myself that I am me and this expedition isn’t pointless and could possibly make us rich until the day we die.

Father told me to write down my thoughts, he senses that I’m slowly losing my mind. But how can’t I? All I see, day and night, are endless expanses of water. No land in sight. We are miles and miles away from civilization. Alone with the sea and what lays beneath it. That thought can be frightening sometimes.

My brother called me a wimp, told me I should have just stayed at home and let the men handle it. I think he is the one who is a wimp. He’s scared of the power women can hold in a world that is overpowered by men. He doesn’t want me here, thinks I belong only at home like the other women in our city. But I don’t believe that even for one second. I have so much more potential than cooking and taking care of children. I’m an explorer, an adventurer, a researcher. I belong exactly here with my brother, my father and his crew.

I am so much more than all of them point me out to be and I know I can prove exactly that to them. I can prove that women can do all things men have been doing for years, maybe even better. I will prove it, even if it makes me go insane.

August 7th, 1878

Day 30 on sea

I miss my mother. I miss her comforting words, her warm arms and the smell of her perfume. Father misses her too. We talked last night while watching the waves under the moonlit sky. He told me he thinks she is watching over us, protecting us from unknown dangers. He told me that he thinks she is proud of us, especially me, for having the courage to explore the sea. I think he is right. Mother would have loved for us to do the things she always dreamt of doing. Exploring. She always wanted to know what lays beyond the sea, know the secrets behind it and write it all down.

Mother was the creative one in our family. She wrote poems, drew beautiful paintings and crafted useful things out of our waste. There was nothing she couldn’t do, no challenge she couldn’t face. I admired her for that, looked up to her and wanted to be like her. Father says that sometimes he sees a bit of her in me, a bit of her creativity leaking out of my aura, but most of the time I am like him. A big pighead who is way too nosy for their own good. But he also said that this trait will help me on our journey.

“We need people like you.”, he spoke as he looked into the sparkling reflection of the stars on the water. “People who are brave and people who are inquisitive. People who don’t stop when it gets too much and get driven by the passion of wanting to know what lays beneath the unknown. That’s why I want you here.”

“But why did you bring my brother as well? He is nothing like that.” My comment made him let out a quiet laugh, a sound I haven’t heard from him in a while.

“Because he can fight. We need people like that as well.”

Our talk was over after that. He went to sleep, and I stayed up, watching the stars in the dark night sky and thinking about his words. Does he really want me here or is he just being nice to me because I’m his daughter? The others on the ship are not shy to express their dislike for me. I’m not taking it to heart since they care more about my gender than my capabilities. But I care about my father’s opinion. I care what he thinks about me being on this ship with him and if he thinks that I should have stayed at home like everyone else is telling me.

I hope he didn’t lie to me. I hope that his words were sincere, and he actually wants me to be here. Because I think it would shatter me if he didn’t.

I figured I should talk more about my current mental state. Every day I try not to show how much it affects me that even though there are so many people on this ship, I’m still alone. No one wants to talk to me, no one cares about my opinion, and no one wants me here. I spend most of the day watching the ocean, listening to the waves and the birds stopping by. When I see something, an animal or even just seaweed, I write it down and draw a picture of it. It helps me a bit, I think, but I’m not quite sure.

Yesterday a boy, his name is Jisung, let me help him prepare a fish. It was the first time someone had spoken to me without throwing an insult at my head. I haven’t seen him much around the ship since he spends most of the time in the kitchen with his father. But he seemed nice enough, even though as soon as another crew member approached us, Jisung ran away from me, not wanting to be seen with the “intruder”. I wasn’t offended by it, at least I got to eat a nice fish for dinner.

But I’m wandering again. My mental state. I do think I’m getting a bit… well, crazy. But who isn’t? Everyone on this ship is going through the withdrawal of feeling solid ground under their toes and seeing anything other than salt water every single day.

I think we all are slowly losing it.

August 15th, 1878

Day 38 on sea

The air was nice today. It smelled fresher than before, kind of like we entered a new world overnight.

It just felt so clean.

Maybe that’s exactly what I needed, some fresh and clear air, something that removed the mess inside of me as well. Father said that fresh air always helps with an occupied mind. I guess his thesis has been proven right.

I should listen to him more.

He is old and keeps to himself most of the time, but when he actually does talk, it has an impact. Just yesterday two of the men on the boat accidently- in a drunken manor- knocked over two wooden boxes full of fish we haunted, leaving us with not much left. Father was furious, I could tell by the look on his face, but he kept his calm image. He went up to the two men and instead of screaming, he just stared at them for a few minutes. I think his eyes were what intimated them the most.

“You realize what you just did?”, he asked them, and I never heard his voice being so cold. They just nodded their heads, eyes widened like they were deer’s getting hunted by a wolf. “You realize what that means for the two of you?” Hesitation lingered in their demeanor. Clearly, they didn’t know what consequences followed their stupid mistake.

“Since you prevented us from having a week stock of fish, I’m going to do the same to you. That means limited access to food, no alcohol anymore and you are going to clean the boat from front to back. I want to see it spotless. Are we clear?” Again, their heads nodded faster than the wind blowing my hair away. They hurried off after being dismissed, leaving me standing there as father let out a long sigh.

It must be hard, having to be in charge of a bunch of grown men who act like children. And it must be hard seeing your own children having to face some of their own hardships as well. I’m not saying my brother is having a hard time on this ship, I’m saying in general. Someone filled with that much piled up anger, like my brother, must have some troubles they can’t communicate themselves.

It’s not like I have never tried. Talking to him, I mean. I did, plenty of times. But he never listens. And he never talks. I think it is the masculinity they force upon boys these days. It starts in school when they are just little fellows and continues all the way into adult hood. It teaches them not to cry, to hide their emotions and be strong.

I think that is stupid. I think that as human beings we were created to show our emotions. It’s our darn right to let ourselves feel everything freely without having to hide it.

But my brother is taking it seriously, says that the people in school would make fun of him if he’s showing weakness. Weakness. That is stupid. I think that hiding your emotions and building up this wrong image in which you hide behind a made-up strength, is what makes you weak.

I told him that and he just said: “And that’s why you’re a woman. You wouldn’t survive a minute being a man.”

And you wouldn’t survive a minute being a woman either. But I didn’t say that. I didn’t want to make him more upset, and I especially didn’t want to start a discussion about men and women with him. It is pointless, because no matter what I say, he will never see us as equals.

I wish I were closer to my brother. I wish he wouldn’t have to think about all this stupid stuff. And I wish I could live in a world where I could freely express myself without having to justify my every move.

I wish, I wish, I wish.

August 19th, 1878

Day 42 on sea

We saw dolphins today. They were swimming right beside our ship, jumping high up into the air and whistling at us. It was a magical moment, watching them happily swim, eager to interact with us. I even got to draw a picture of them. And for a moment I forgot that my mind is constantly spinning in a spiral. I just sat there, enjoying the short moment of peace, before it got destroyed.

Some of the men on the ship, clearly drunk, threw bottles at the dolphins, slurring insulting words at them. The dolphins swam away shortly after, but the bottles stayed where they threw them, in the ocean. I was so mad that I went up to one of the men, yelling some pretty mean words as well.

“Are you out of your mind, you drunk filthy piece of shit? Not only did you hurt poor helpless animals that were clearly eager to interact with us, but you also polluted the ocean with your stupid bottles of alcohol. Are you really that messed up in your head to think this was a good idea? I don’t even get why you are on this god forsaken ship. You are clearly not good for anything other than drinking your days away and only caring about yourselves. And you call yourself a man. You are nothing but a pathetic little boy, wanting everyone’s attention. You disgust me, you pig.”

I can’t remember much afterwards, only the stinging feeling against my cheek, a foot against my rip cage and someone yelling to stop. I woke up not long ago. The ship is quiet, so I assume it’s already in the middle of the night and everyone is sleeping, but I’m too scared to look. My body hurts, every time I move only a slight bit, a crushing pain curses through my bones.

When I close my eyes, everything is spinning, so I don’t close my eyes anymore.

I don’t regret what I said to that man. I don’t regret standing up to myself. I had to endure a worse treatment for a longer time and could handle it. It is not my fault that he couldn’t handle a bit of critique. All I hope is that this pain will go away soon. The pain inside and outside.

I’ve been thinking, maybe a bit too much. What if I change my way of thinking? What if instead of letting the ocean hurt me, I will let it heal me? What if instead of letting the loneliness consume me, I will let it lead me? Maybe all I have to do to get better is to change the way I approach this expedition.

And now that I have written it down, I will have to do it. My mother always said words only count when you write them on a piece of paper. In that way it is like a contract, unbreakable. It is like an oath you swear only to yourself, and those should be the most precious ones. She said you should always keep the promises you give to yourself, because after all, at the very end you will always have yourself to count on. Mother was a wise lady. A wise and confident woman, that I always looked up to. She was never afraid to speak her mind and stand up for her beliefs, I admired that side of her so much. And I know my dad also admired that.

Sometimes I forget that he lost his wife, I forget that he is still grieving. Because it looks so easy for him. It doesn’t look like he is compulsively taken of on a ship to “explore the unknown” just to get away from home and the recuring memories of the woman he loved so dearly. It looks like he created a team of the best- that’s arguable- men out there and took of to explore. He looks like a hero, not a broken man.

He hides everything so well. I wish he would have taught me how to do that.

August 20th, 1878

Day 43 on sea

Dad told me not to move too much. He thinks my rips are badly bruised and I need a few days, maybe even a few weeks to heal. We don’t have a qualified doctor on this ship, so I am just putting ice on my ribs and hope they will magically heal.

My brother even came to my room to ask me about my well-being. That was the last thing I expected to be quite honest with you. My brother and I have never had the best relationship. He was never a reliable soul, always easily influenced by others. He is a follower not a leader and that shows in the way he behaves towards others, especially towards me.

“Are you fine?”, he asked me, voice unusually soft. I could see it in his eyes, the pity that lies in them. It looked like he actually cares.

“Forgetting the circumstances, yes, I am fine.” He let out a long and deep breath, a hand stroking back a piece of hair that fell into his eyes. I should have asked him if I should cut his hair for him.

“Okay.”, he just answered, nodding his head before standing up again. “If you need anything, just call for me.” Without looking at me again, he left the room. All I could do after that was smile. It was the first encounter since we were kids that didn’t end up with me wishing I would never have to talk to him again. He may not know how to express what he is really feeling and is scared of voicing his own thoughts, but this small conversation showed me that he may not be all too bad.

August 25th, 1878

Day 48 on sea

I am going crazy. I sit on my bed every single day. I draw, I write, and I stare at the wall.

I can feel my thoughts circle around my brain, nothing makes sense. No one visited me in the past two days, and it makes the urge to get up even worse. I didn’t really have someone to talk to from the beginning, but at least I got to be around some living beings. I didn’t have to bear my own thoughts for such a long time. Now I’m not only alone, but I’m also lonely as well.

I had a nightmare last night. I dreamt about the ship sinking. It was absurd because the men drunk too much and their bellies got so bloated, it made the ship sink. But that wasn’t the frightening part. As I tried to swim for safety, my arms already hurting, I started hearing voices. Not just two, must have been a hundred of them. All of them whispering to me, but I couldn’t understand what they were trying to tell me. I kept swimming and swimming, far behind I saw hills. The voices didn’t stop. It felt like they were entering me, taking over every part of my body. My head felt like it was about to explode into a million pieces. They got louder and louder until I couldn’t take it anymore. I stopped swimming, letting myself sink. The water engulfed my whole body, entering my mouth and filling my lungs. The voices got quieter and quieter until there was only one left, loud and clear, telling me to “wake up”.

That’s when I opened my eyes, sweat dripping from my forehead and my breath uncontrollably fast. I never had a dream like that. I never woke up so disorientated. I wanted to tell someone about this dream, have someone explain to me what the meaning behind it is. I wanted to know if I’m really losing my mind.

August 27th, 1878

Day 50 on sea

I am losing my mind.

This can’t be real. I am writing this down to make sure I am wide awake and not dreaming.

I woke up from a noise. At first, I thought I was imagining it, because lately I’ve been imagining a lot of things. I wanted to go back to sleep, being exhausted from, well, doing absolutely nothing all day long, but then I heard it again.

It wasn’t just a noise. It was a melody, a very beautiful one. It sounded like the gateway to heaven, like it was sung by angels. And it made me feel drowsy.

I knew I needed to rest more, but something about this melody pulled me in. It made me forget the throbbing pain in my body and the events that happened days before. All it made me want to do was reach it, engrave it into my skin. It made me want to never hear anything else.

I was in a trance, no thoughts inside my head anymore.

So, I got up, walked out onto the deck of the ship to find out where this melody comes from. But when I reached the deck, I didn’t expect to see a boy sitting on the railing.

But it wasn’t an ordinary boy. Oh, no. Not like the ones I’ve seen in my town growing up. I can’t describe him in any other way than captivating. His jet-black hair softly swayed in the night wind, covering his eyes every few seconds. His cheeks adopted a soft rosy color from the coldness, contrasting the tan of his skin. And his eyes were almost as dark as the night sky.

I don’t know why I stared at him for such a long time, and I don’t know why he let me.

“You’re here.” Those were his first words. The first time I heard his voice. A voice that made time stop for a moment. I couldn’t hear the waves crashing against each other anymore, or the cracking of the old wood the ship was built with. I couldn’t even hear my heartbeat pumping against my chest. All I could hear was him. “I was waiting for you.”

“Who are you?” That was not what I wanted to ask him at that moment, but the sane part of my brain must have sensed that something wasn’t right. Something about the way my body reacted to this strange man was dubious.

“Haechan.”, he spoke with a soft voice, turning his body so that he fully faced me. A smirk was placed on his lips, only intensifying his tantalizing physique. “And you are?”

“Y/n.” My name came out in a mere whisper, fearing that my voice might have broken if I spoke any louder. I couldn’t stop staring at him, still having been sure that my mind was playing a trick on me or, well, still is.

For days no one has checked in on me, no one has talked to me more than five words. I’ve been on this ship for way too long seeing nothing but the endless nothingness of the sea. My mind has been plagued with recuring thoughts, never once having a quiet moment. Maybe this is the final sign. Maybe this is it. I am insane. So insane that I’m imagining a boy sitting on the rail of the ship just so that I have someone to talk to.

“A beautiful name for a beautiful girl.” Reaching one hand out, the boy signaled me to come closer to him. Every part of my body longed to take his hand and sit on the rail with him, but doubts started floating my brain.

“What are you doing here? How did you get on this ship?” Haechan, as I learned his name, just chuckled, a low sound that was so different from his honey voice. He looked amused at my asking, almost like he was making fun of me.

“Why did you come out here, Y/n?” I remember frowning at him, clearly feeling upset that he chose to ignore my question and ask one of his own. I felt upset that this boy, which I probably made up in my mind, didn’t show any respect for me at all. He, just like the others, ignores what I have to say, and I didn’t want to get treated that way, not after what happened last time.

So, instead of answering him, I turned around, heading back to my bed. But before I could even take a step, the melody I heard earlier started again. All the thoughts that I had in my mind at that moment flew away and I was, yet again, caught in a trance. It was like I couldn’t escape, even if I wanted to.

“It’s you.”, I whispered, but he still heard me. I knew that because the melody got louder, clearer. I closed my eyes, letting his voice enter every part of my body. I let it fill me up and shut me down at the same time. I let it rearrange my mind and mend my wounds, but I also let it cut me open and bleed me dry. I gave myself into the sweet penetration of his honey laced voice and wanted nothing more than to make all his wishes and desires come true. I would have given him the world if it was possible. My whole body felt like it was floating on top of a cloud, high up in the sky and there was no way of ever coming down again. I was trapped.

“Come closer.”, he murmured, voice deeper and almost impending.

“No.”, I quivered, suddenly scared of ever opening my eyes again.

“Please, Y/n.”, he pleaded, and I could nearly hear the desperation in his voice. “Just please look at me.” And so, I did. He was not sitting on the rail anymore, he was standing right in front of me. A small smile on his lips and one hand stretched out to me. “Come closer please. I don’t want anything else from you.”

And as I was about to take the step towards him, give in to his demand and the growing need inside of me to grant all his wishes, I heard a voice behind me, calling out my name and breaking the trance I was in.

“Y/n?”

Turning around, I saw my brother standing further away from me, dressed in his nightly gown. “What are you doing out of your bed? You should rest, your body isn’t fully healed yet.”

“I was just talking to…” But when I looked for Haechan again, no one was standing there anymore. It was like I was alone all along. “I don’t know what I was doing.”

Suddenly I felt all the pain rush back into my body, my bones burning with fire, and I let out a loud groan as I fell to my knees.

“Y/n.” My brother rushed towards me, helping me up with his arms around me. “For someone who always seems so smart, you really aren’t the brightest.” I couldn’t even laugh at his words, my mind was too focused on the pain all over my body.

“You must have been sleep walking if you can’t remember what you were doing up there.” My brother said as he laid me back down into my bed and reached into a bucket of water to put a wet rag on my forehead. “Sleep now, okay? I will stop by in the morning again and check on you.” All I could do was nod my head at him, exhaustion consuming my body. He looked at me one last time before he left my room again.

And now I’m sitting here, writing in my foolish dairy and reminiscing about the strange boy I met. I must have imagined him. How could anyone come up onto the ship? I didn’t see another boat, nor did any other member of the crew. And the possibility of someone appearing out of the blue is also not likely.

The only possibility that is left is that I am losing my mind. That I imagined all of it out of pure loneliness and frustration. This expedition should have been educational for me. It should have proven to all the men that I, as a woman, can do what they can do. That I can be an explorer, a brave one even, and that I have the ability to find something new. That is why we started this journey, because we wanted to discover unknown things.

But all I am doing now is proving everyone exactly what they think of me, that I am small and weak. That I am not an explorer and that I should have just stayed at home. That I am not brave and definitely not smart. I proved to them that I am fragile and well, mental.

But no one has to know about it. No one has to know what happens in my head or the things I imagine. No one has to know I am practically insane and desperate. I could just simply fake it. Isn’t that what everyone does? Faking confidence.

Maybe if I fake it long enough and convince everyone that what they are saying and thinking about me is wrong, I might convince myself as well. Maybe I can convince my brain I’m fine while pretending to be.

So, from now on, everything’s okay. I am not insane, and I certainly am not imagining weird things.

I am okay.

Everything is okay.

August 29th, 1987

Day 52 on sea

Everything is not okay.

Yesterday the boy didn’t show up again. I wasn’t exactly looking for him, since my father spent most of the night in my room making sure I wouldn’t ‘sleep-walk’ again, but I can’t lie and say I wasn’t disappointed not to hear his beautiful melody again.

I asked my dad if there is a word for the feeling of craving for someone, for feeling like the person took a part of you with them when they left and you long to be reunited with them. When all your thoughts are consumed with them, and your body is itching to be in the mere presence of that person. But also fearing the actual return of that person and the power they hold over you and your emotions. He told me it is called “withdrawal”.

“It is mostly referred to drugs such as alcohol.”, he explained to me as he tried to brush out the knots in my hair. “But I think it can be applied to humans as well. You know, sometimes we long for people we can’t have or people that aren’t good for us. We see the signs, but we ignore them. We give in to the sweet yearning and get hurt in the process. But if we don’t give in and the yearning grows stronger, we crave it even more. We think about the person every day, imagine their scent, their eyes, their voice. We imagine them being in a room with us, talking and laughing with us. We do the things that are most painful to us just to have what we long for, even if we know it’s not good for us. And it hurts, physically and emotionally.”

I turned around to look at him, inspect his face and read what he was feeling when he said those things. “It sounds like you have experience with that feeling.” My father just shrugged and at that moment he looked older. He looked like an old man who has been through too much in his life. A man who deserves a break.

“I’ve been around much longer than you, dear. There were mistakes made and hearts torn, but it all worked out at the end.”

“How?”, I ask, curious as to how such a sad feeling still turned into something good.

“Because I got you, and your brother. That’s my happy ending.” I wanted to cry. I wanted to storm into his arms and never let him go. But I didn’t do any of those things. I just smiled at him, nodded my head and hoped that was enough for him. Because while his words filled my heart to the brim with love, my body still ached, not from the pain but for the boy I only met once in my life.

That’s why I tried to ignore the melody a few hours ago when it started again. Father went back to his bed a few minutes before, wanting to get some well-deserved sleep, leaving me alone in my room. I, as well, wanted to get some rest, but then I heard it. It was loud and clear, and more beautiful than I had remembered it to be. Almost immediately I felt my whole mind switch, forgetting the conversation I had had with my father. All that was in my head was him, Haechan.

I wanted to see him, no, I needed to see him. I felt lost without him, so empty and incomplete. I felt like my world wasn’t spinning correctly, time was going backwards, and the stars were falling out of the sky. Nothing felt right anymore. Not until I was with him.

I reached my door, but before I could open it something woke me up. Not from a dream, but from a trance. A smell, a very familiar one. It took up all my senses and brought me back to reality.

I realized what I was about to do and quickly sat back down on my bed, not daring to even set a foot on the floor anymore. It was frightening, what I felt just then. The longing I felt, just from one simple melody. I don’t know this boy, why would I feel so strongly about him? Why does he have so much power over my emotions?

His melody got louder. For a moment my head felt like it was exploding. He sounded sad, sorrowful. It broke my heart into pieces hearing him so vulnerable, longing for me the same way I was longing for him. But I didn’t give in. A part of me, I don’t know which one, knew it was wrong to see him again. So, I stayed on my bed, legs tightly pressed against my chest and my hands on my ears, trying to cover his despairing voice.

10 minutes ago, it stopped. It just went away, like it was never there in the first place. Curiosity almost got the best of me and wanted to check if he really left, but I was too scared, I still am.

I don’t know what he is doing to be, why he is here and why he is targeting me. But I know that whatever he is doing, it can’t be with good intentions. A person that makes another person feel such outrageous things, can’t be here for anything good.

Maybe it shouldn’t matter so much. Because, after all, I made him up. He isn’t real so whatever he is doing isn’t going to hurt me. I think my mind is reflecting this pain on me to make sense of why it’s slowly decapitating. It’s trying to distract me from the actual damage in my brain.

At least that is the only logical answer to all of this. Because anything other would be, well, crazy and I’m not crazy. I might lose my mind, but I am not crazy.

August 30th, 1878

Day 53 on sea

Maybe I am a bit crazy, and reckless, and irresponsible and plain stupid.

“You left me standing here for a long time yesterday. I missed you, darling.” But I couldn’t help myself but visibly relaxing as I heard his voice again.

It was all I could think about all day long. Him and his melody. I wanted to feel it again. Feel it in my veins, feel it shutting out all the thoughts in my head. I just wanted this bothering craving to go away. I think it got so bad that even Jisung, someone who barely talks to me, noticed it.

“Are you okay? Don’t you like the food?”, he asked as he watched me stare at the food in front of me.

“Oh, sorry. It’s not the food, don’t worry. I just didn’t get much sleep last night.” I gave him a little smile, grabbing a fork and shoving some food in my mouth.

“Is there a reason behind it? I hope it wasn’t me.” Jisung looked a bit guilty as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I spent the whole night cooking because I also couldn’t sleep. I hope I wasn’t too loud and kept you awake.”

“Oh, so that was what I smelled yesterday.” Internally, I couldn’t help but to be grateful for the boy sitting in front of me. After all, was he the reason why I didn’t give in to see Haechan. But I couldn’t tell him that. I was already glad someone decided to speak to me, I didn’t want to ruin it by my insanity. “But no, that was not what kept me up. I mean I smelled it, but I just had too much going on inside my mind to rest.”

The boy just nodded his head, shoving a fork full of food in his mouth. “Care to share some of your thoughts?”, he says with his mouth still full of food. He looked like a child in that moment, with his eyes wide and his mouth dirty with crumps.

“Just thinking a lot more about my mother lately.”, I told him, only half lying. Mother has been on my mind a lot lately, but that obviously wasn’t the reason why I couldn’t sleep. “I miss her. I mean I always miss her, but being so far away from home just makes me miss her more. You know, I see her everywhere. In the books I read, the words I write. I see her in the ocean, feel her in the air and smell her in every scent. It’s bizarre.”

“No, it’s not.”, Jisung disagreed, putting his fork down and propping his elbow up on the table to lean his face on his hand. “I miss my mother too. I mean, she isn’t dead, but her and my father are no longer together. She left with my sister, my father kept me, and I haven’t seen her in three years. I miss her too sometimes. But I think I miss the things she did for me more than I miss her. When I was a child, I always had trouble falling asleep so she would always tell me a bedtime story. I think that is why some nights I can’t seem to fall asleep.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that, Jisung. Next time you have trouble sleeping just get me. I can also tell you bedtime stories.”

He nodded yet again, showing me another one of his smiles. “Thank you, Y/n. And you know what? I think you are really brave. I wanted to say that to you earlier, but I never had the guts to actually do. I think that we can all be grateful that someone like you joined this expedition. We really need more smart crewmates on this ship.”

But I don’t think I am that smart anymore. I don’t think I even deserve to be called smart anymore. Because every single thing about the decisions I make is anything other than smart. And as I looked into the deep brown eyes of the boy in front of me, that only got confirmed.

“No answer? No ‘I missed you too’?” His voice had an alluring tone, soothing all the wounds inside me and doing things to my body I am too embarrassed to admit. “What a shame, sweet girl. I was pretty sure I could sense your longing for me yesterday. Maybe I was wrong.”

I didn’t know what to answer. And I honestly am glad I didn’t, positive that my voice would have come out in nothing but a pathetic whisper. Haechan was walking closer to me again, reaching his hand out again to hover over the skin of my arm but never touching me.

“Can you feel that?”, he whispers, eyes never leaving mine. “Can you feel the goosebumps slowly forming on your skin, the shiver down your spin?” He waited for me to answer him, but all I could do was nod. “Words, sweetheart.”

“Yes.” I answered him, voice cracking with that one simple word. “Yes, I can feel that.”

“Good. That is exactly what I want you to feel.” He took a few steps back again, so he was leaning against the railing. “Why did you decide to come here tonight? Couldn’t get enough of me?”

I just shrugged my shoulders, not really knowing myself what the actual reason behind me coming to see him again was. “Why do you keep calling for me?”

“Calling for you? How exactly am I calling for you?” Cocking his head to the side, still wearing a smirk on his lips. But I don’t want to get too detailed about his face, still feeling a bit embarrassed of the things I felt in that moment.

“The melody your singing, it’s for me. You are calling me with your melody.” A chuckle left his lips, melodic like his voice.

“How can you be so sure of that? What if I just like to sing pretty melodies?” His question sounded so innocent and for a moment I was uncertain about my statement, fearing I might have misinterpreted everything. But I knew what I was feeling. I knew that his melody was meant to be for me and no one else. I know it might sound crazy, but the thought of him singing this melody, my melody, for someone else felt unsettling.

“Because if you sung it for someone else, they would stand here instead of me. No one else is responding to your melody, only me, so it must be for me.” For a few seconds there was nothing but silence around us. Haechan wasn’t saying a thing, seeming like he was thinking about his next words. And I didn’t say anything, fearing that if I might, he would disappear again.

“You’re right.”, he finally spoke up. “It is for you.”

“But why? Why do you sing this melody for me?”

“Because I wanted to meet you, Y/n. From the moment I first saw you, I knew I got to have you. I got to be with you. I craved nothing more than to talk to you, to simply be blessed to be in the mere presence of you. I am longing for you, the same way you are longing for me, my love.” I couldn’t believe what he was saying to me. His words filled up my heart, and I started feeling lightheaded.

He was craving for me. He wanted to meet me. Everything that I am feeling towards him, as strange as those emotions are, he is feeling for me as well. His words were the most beautiful, heart wrenching thing I have ever heard in my inter life. I felt lucky to be seen this way, to be wanted this way, never actually having had someone tell me that before.

He really went all this way, just to meet me. Singing this melody, coming up this ship. But isn’t it a bit strange as well? I remembered not seeing another ship anywhere nearby. Where did he come from? How did he see me? Questions started filling my mind again, shaking me awake.

“What did you mean when you said you wanted to meet me from the first time you saw me? When did you see me?” I could see his body tensing up. Maybe he wasn’t expecting such a question.

“I can answer your question, but first you have to come with me. Please, Y/n. I will tell you everything, just please come with me. I don’t want to be apart from you anymore.”

“Haechan.” I looked at his hand, which was reaching for me again, motioning me to take it in mind. “Where do you want to take me? I mean there is no other ship anywhere near.”

“Y/n, just trust me, okay? Come with me and I will make the thoughts in your head disappear. I will make everything heal for you.” His hands hovered over my arms again, almost as if he couldn’t touch me. I wanted him to. I wanted him to touch me so badly. But I could see that something in his eyes had changed. They were darker, more desperate and demanding, and I knew it was my time to leave.

“I can’t.”, I told him, taking a few steps back. “I have to get up early tomorrow.” And with that I left, not once looking back as I walked back into my room.

I don’t know if what I did was right, or if I upset him with my behavior.

All I hope for is that he isn’t mad at me and will forgive me when he comes back. If he comes back.

August 31st, 1878

Day 54 on sea

He did in fact come back.

“Missed me?” There was something more gentle in the way he was talking to me today. Something more reserved.

“What if I did?” That made him smile, not smirk like he normally does. Haechan showed me a bright honest smile. And all I could think about was that he never looked more ethereal than in that moment.

“Then I will be highly pleased, my love. You know why?” I shook my head as a no, waiting for him to continue his sentence. “Because I missed you too?”

“You did?”

“Of course, I did. You were all I could think about all day long, pretty girl.” He stayed a bit further away from me too today and I wondered why. I asked myself if he didn’t want to be close to me again or if he felt rejected after what happened yesterday. “I couldn’t stop thinking about your sweet smile, your beautiful eyes and your lovely voice. I couldn’t wait to see you again.”

“Why don’t you touch me?”, I said out of the blue, catching not only myself, but him off guard as well. “You never touch me. You only hover your hands above my skin. Why?”

He smiled again, sweet and kind. “Because if I touch you once, I will never be able to stop again.”

“What if I don’t want you to stop?” He only shook his head, turning around to face the stars instead of me. But I didn’t want him to look away, I wanted him to look at me, because when he does look at me, I can feel again.

“I am sorry about yesterday, you know? I am sorry I was too intrusive, I let myself get caught up in my emotions.” I had to process his words, that being the last thing I thought would come out of his mouth. Never once had a men apologized to me for anything. I am so used to getting treated like nothing and it being normal in a society like the one I grew up with. Never once has anyone cared so much about me to consider my emotions and apologize for a mistake.

“Thank you.”, I just whispered, trying to swallow the tears. “That means a lot to me.” I decided to join him at the rail, watch the stars with him for a little while.

“Do you know that I think you are not real? I think I am imagining you, because for the past weeks I have been slowly losing my mind. Seeing the same things every day, not talking to anyone and having to deal with all those thoughts in my head. I think I started imagining you so I could just stop time for a while.”

“But I am real.”, he said, looking deep into my eyes. “I am real. You are not insane, and you are definitely not imagining me. I can prove that to you. Just take my hand and you will see.”

“Why does that feel like a trap?”, I asked him, watching his face, trying to read his emotions. But it stayed the same. His smile didn’t butch for a second and his eyes still held the same gentleness.

“I don’t know what you are talking about, Y/n. There is no trap. I am just offering you evidence to your lingering questions about your own sanity. I am just trying to be nice to you, but if you don’t appreciate that.”

“No, no I do. I am grateful for your kindness. You just sounded so demanding, and it made me doubtful.”

“I am so sorry, my sweet girl. It was never my intention to make you doubt me. That will never happen again, okay? All I want is the best for you. Nothing more.” I just nodded, eyes facing the wooden floor of the ship. “I am going to tell you the story of why I so desperately wanted to talk to you, since I didn’t yesterday. Maybe that will cheer you up a bit again.”

“I wanted to talk to you because I was mesmerized by you. Because there are not a lot of people out there like you. People so willing to learn and to explore. I never met a woman like you, someone so strong minded and independent. I loved how you never let anyone talk bad to you and I love how despite the negative things the men on this ship say about you, you still stay here. You prove to them every day that you are capable of being on such an expedition and that you are more qualified than they could ever be. And I just knew I had to talk to you, I had to have you in my life.”

And it was like he knew what I needed to hear. Like he knew my deepest darkest thoughts and all the things I was craving to ever be told by someone. It was like he spoke right into my soul and built up this newfound strength. I felt empowered, I felt loved. But yet again, I was also wondering how he could know all those things about me.

“Why do you know all that, Haechan?”

“I told you already, Y/n. I was longing for you.” It didn’t make sense. His answer didn’t make any sense. Was he avoiding my question? Or maybe he understood the question wrong, thinking this was an answer that would satisfy me. But it didn’t.

“That doesn’t answer my question. How can you possibly know about all those? We just met.”

I could hear a sigh leaving his lips, the long and frustrated kind. I am familiar with those, having heard them a thousand times from my father and brother. And I asked myself if I, yet again, upset him with my question. If I should have just kept quiet and appreciated his kind words and moved on from the topic.

“And yet again you don’t appreciate my kindness. All I do is be nice to you, proving to you that I am real and trustworthy, and you still doubt me. Don’t you know how much that hurts me? Do you?” His voice rose visibly, nostrils flaring and eyes growing wider. Haechan wasn’t looking like himself at that moment. He almost looked inhumane.

“I am sorry, Haechan. Please don’t say that. I do trust you. Please, I’m sorry.”, I started begging him, reaching for his hand, which he pulled away. “Please.” Tears filled my eyes and my whole body started hurting again, like it was slowly breaking apart from the inside out.

“You hurt me, Y/n. I don’t think your apology can fix this.”

And this time it was him walking away, disappearing into the darkness, and leaving me standing at the same spot, mourning for him like I had just lost a person to death.

September 1st, 1878

Day 55 on sea

I could see the surprise on his face when he saw me standing there, waiting for him this time, not needing his melody to be called. But the look of surprise quickly faded away and a smirk replaced it instead.

“I see you don’t even need my melody anymore.” It almost sounded cocky the way he said it.

“I wanted to be here first so I could apologize to you.”, I spoke the words with so much sincerity, wanting him to believe me and see that I genuinely mean the apology. “I am really sorry for hurting your feelings yesterday. It was never my intention. All I want to do is make you happy, Haechan, and I am so sorry that I failed to do so.”

He looked at me for a few seconds, brows raised, before he shrugged his shoulders. “What will you do if I don’t accept your apology?”

I didn’t hesitate when I spoke my next words. “I will beg for your forgiveness. I will beg until you accept my apology. I will do anything you want me to.”

“Anything I want you to?”, he asked, and I just nodded my head at him, desperation fulling my actions and probably written all over my face. “I will hold onto that one.”

“Does that mean you forgive me?” Haechan shrugged again, taking a few steps forward into my direction. Looking at him in that moment, I didn’t think he looked hurt. Normally people have this look on their face when their feelings got hurt, quivering lips, wide and sad eyes, body folding in on itself. But Haechans eyes were almost narrowed, and he was towering over me, almost like he was looking down at me. My father once told me people do that to prove their dominance over the other person, but I don’t think that was what Haechan wanted to do in that moment. Or was it?

Maybe Haechan is just like my brother, a person who has to hide their true feelings behind a stone-cold face to demonstrate strength. Or maybe he just didn’t want me to see him hurt by me to make me feel less guilty. Because I was and still am feeling bad for making him feel that way yesterday. I still regret my words and wish I would have just shut my mouth. I should do that more often, shutting my mouth in some situations. It would have saved me from a lot of things.

“I’m still thinking about it. Maybe I will tell you my answer at the end of the night.” That gave me some hope. Even though he didn’t yet accept my apology, he still wanted to spend time with me and that was more than enough for me.

“I saw you talking to that Jisung guy again today.” Haechan was still towering over me, hands in the pockets of his pants and eyes narrowing in on my face. “What is so intriguing about him that you talk so much to him?”

“Did you watch me?”, I asked him, shock lacing my voice. Jisung and I only talked in the kitchen today. I was hungry since I overslept in the morning and didn’t have breakfast. When I walked into the kitchen to grab myself something, Jisung was standing there, preparing the fish for dinner. We spent some time together, me eating my food and him cooking more. There wasn’t a lot of conversation, we just basked in the presence of each other.

“I asked you a question first.”, Haechan voice got lower again. I could only describe it as sinister. There was an undertone in that one small sentence, something that told me I should not say the wrong thing. So, I took a moment to gather my thoughts, fight through the mess in my head and find an answer that will satisfy him.

“He isn’t interesting to me.”, I tell him, keeping my voice clear and loud. “He is just the only person that talks to me when you aren’t here. There is nothing more to it.”

“It didn’t look like that earlier, sweetheart. I thought the two of you looked very cozy in that kitchen, sneaking glances at each other.” He let out a sound similar to a ‘tsk’ and shook his head in a mocking manner. “Am I not enough for you anymore? Do you go around and search for other men when I’m not around? Are you so desperate and needy for attention?”

“No.”, I whispered, feeling even the small last bit of confidence leaving my body. Haechan has a way of making me feel weaker and weaker, draining every last thought out of my head and making my body his. “No, Haechan.”

I felt my legs give him, sinking to my knees. My body felt so heavy but at the same time so light. Haechan kneeled down in front of me, lowering his head so he was looking right into my eyes. “You can’t talk to other men, Y/n. You are mine only, do you understand?” All I could do was nod my head at him, but that didn’t satisfy him. “You belong to me, right, my sweet girl? I need you to say it.”

“I belong to you.”, I mumbled, not having the strength to fully open my mouth.

“That is right. You belong to me, your body belongs to me and even your mind belongs to me. You are all mine, pretty princess.” He took up all my senses. I could only see him, smell him, hear him, feel him everywhere. Like only he excited in this world and no one else.

Haechan leaned forward, his lips brushing the skin of my ear. I could feel his warm breath on my skin, and it sent shivers down my back. “Now come with me, darling. Take my hand and come with me. I will make sure you remember me forever.”

I reached for his hand, fingers brushing against each other, but before I could close them around his, a bright light shined a bit further away from us. Everything happened so fast after that. I heard footsteps, a voice and suddenly I felt empty. Haechan was no longer kneeling in front of me and right as I wanted to look for him, my body gave in, and I fainted onto the cold wooden floor.

I don’t know how I got into my bed, and I don’t know who brought me into my bed. All I know is that the moment I woke up again I craved Haechan even more than I did before and I know that the next time he asks me to come with him, I will do so, without any hesitation.

September 2nd, 1878

Day 56 on sea

Everything changed today. Everything I thought I knew, everything I thought I felt. A lie.

I can’t stop crying. My tears are flowing like an endless waterfall. I’m a mess, a disaster. How could I let this all happen? I thought I was smarter than this. I thought I was stronger than this. But I was blinded. I was corrupted, manipulated, used.

I feel dirty, like I haven’t washed in weeks. But I just did. I spent a long time trying to scrub away the dirt I felt, trying to scrub away the shame I felt. I put everyone, especially me, in danger with my reckless behavior, with my blindness, with my incompetence. I am a failure.

I spent the whole day ignoring everyone around me, not even looking at anyone that passed me by. I wanted to desperately prove to Haechan that I only want him and no one else, that everyone on this ship doesn’t matter to me. All that matters is him. I was hoping he was watching me again, being proud of me.

But unfortunately, there was one person I couldn’t avoid even if I tried to.

“You wanted to speak to me, father.”, I said as I entered my father’s office room. I have never been in that room, not once over all these weeks. The room was scattered in books, empty bottles and maps of the sea. I always imagined the room to be neater, at least that was what my father always seemed to be. But my mother told me once that your room reflects the mental state you were in. Maybe my father was also struggling with his sanity.

“Yes.”, he answered me, looking up from his book. “I wanted to see how you are feeling, after your little incident yesterday.”

“I’m feeling fine, father. Must have been me sleep walking again. There is nothing to worry about.”

He just hummed, his face showing the uncertainty he felt because of my words. My father mustered me for a few seconds, waiting for even a little muscle to twitch in my face to show him if I was lying. But I kept a straight face, looking him right into the eyes. “I am thrilled to hear that. And we will find a way to fix your nightly problem.”

Father went back to reading in his book, and even though I knew I shouldn’t, the curious part of me wondered what he was so engrossed in. I always loved the books my father reads, knowing that they are filled with new knowledge. “What are you reading?”

He held up the book, showing me the cover. “Knowledge about the mysteries of the ocean.”, I read out loud, furrowing my eyebrows at the title. What an odd book, I have never heard about that. “What mysteries are listed in the book?”

“Oh, just some fisher men tales. Mermaids, kraken, leviathan, sirens. All those tales which warn everyone on ships about the dangers of the sea.”

“Sirens? I have never heard of them. What are they?” My father turned his book around, showing me the page, he was just reading. On it was a drawn picture of what looked to be a half bird, half fish creature. My stomach started to turn, the longer I looked at it, frightened by its appearance.

“This book says that sirens are mythical creatures, half bird, half fish. Through their angelic singing they lure in fishermen to kill them. It is said that their voice lures them in, but their face is what makes the fishermen stay.”

“Their face?”, I asked, not believing that for a second.

“They put you in a trance with their voice and make you see whoever you most desire. They are insidious, malicious creatures, feared by everyone who ever entered the ocean. They are dangerous, Y/n.” He looked me in the eyes, as if he knew something I didn’t. As if he wanted to tell me more with the last sentence.

“Do you really believe they exist? To me that just sounds like fishermen making up excuses as to why they didn’t bring any fish home.”

My father let out a long sigh, head shaking. He turned the book back to him and stared at the picture for a few more seconds, before closing the book again. “You could be right, Y/n. I mean you have always been the realistic one in this family. But as long as there is no proof that they don’t exist, I will have to believe those tales. It’s better to believe and find out they don’t exist, than to not believe and find out they do exist.”

I couldn’t stop thinking about his words after I left his office. They kept spinning around my head, swirling and clashing against other thoughts. And they were connecting. My thoughts were connecting together, and suddenly there was only one thought left. One person in my mind, and not for the reasons he had been in my mind for the past few days.

But I didn’t want to admit that. Not even to myself. It couldn’t be. It wasn’t true. Those useless tales were nothing but fiction, made up stories to save the fishermen from embarrassment and disappointment. Nothing more and nothing less.

Because I knew Haechan. I knew he wasn’t capable of something like that. He wasn’t a creature designed to prey on innocent people. Or was he?

I couldn’t help but smile as I heard the familiar melody, as I felt it sink deep under my skin and erase everything inside of me. I loved the pain it inflicted on my heart, the way the melody ripped me apart into a million pieces. I loved how for the first few seconds everything stopped being important to me. Breathing, feeling, living. Nothing felt important for a few seconds. Nothing but him.

Haechan leant against the rail of the ship, hands in his trousers and a smirk on his lips. It almost felt like a déjà-vu. I remembered how I felt when I first saw him. Feelings that were once so innocent and unfamiliar are now unconditional and fierce. “My pretty girl.”, he whispered, and I felt the weight on my shoulders lift. “Are you ready?”

“Ready for what?”, I asked, taking a few steps closer to him. I was craving his closeness, his touch. I needed him to touch me, anywhere. I didn’t mind where.

“Ready to come with me.” My head was clouded, brainwashed by his beautiful voice. But wasn’t that exactly what my father told me, what he warned me about. “I can see your doubt in me, sweetheart. What is it that is plaguing your beautiful mind?”

“Do you plan on killing me?” I don’t know why I asked him that question. I don’t know how I got the strength to break out of the haze, even just a little bit.

“Killing you? Why would I kill you?” His eyes darkened and I could see his body language changing. I could see all of him changing. Haechan let out a chuckle before walking into my direction, stopping when he was right behind me. Brushing my hair back, never once touching me, as he leant down to whisper into my ear.

“I really wanted to kill you at first, my sweet girl. I wanted nothing else but to rip you apart.” My body shut down, letting me fall weakly to my knees just like the day before. I couldn’t keep my eyes open for more than five seconds. Haechan kneeled down in front of me, yet again and placed his hand on my cheek. Finally, I could feel him. I could feel the one thing I craved most, his touch. But it didn’t feel how I imagined it to. Instead of lifting me up and making me basked in comfort, it made me flinch. His touch made me want to never see the light of day ever again. “But how could I kill such a beautiful thing? You are my precious girl, aren’t you? So sweet and special.”

I wanted to run, get away from him. I wanted to do anything but to stay with him, but my body didn’t let me. My body stayed down on the ground, heavy and useless. “Does it hurt, love? Does my touch and my words hurt you?” He didn’t need an answer because he knew. He knew how every bone in my body felt like it was on fire as soon as he muttered those words. He knew all I wanted was to make this growing pain stop. “Just come with me. I will make the pain stop.”

When I looked up at him, I saw only a glimpse of him. His skin was pale blue, scales all over it, and his teeth were sharp and long. This wasn’t the boy I met a few nights ago, the boy who made me feel like I was floating on the clouds and the boy who gave me a reason to live. This was a creature, a monster. A siren.

“Go away.”, I croaked out with the last strength I had left in my body.

“Oh no, you poor thing. Don’t be like that.” Not even his voice sounded like the sweet melody I once heard. It didn’t give me sweet pleasure anymore, it only gave me pain. “You love me, or have you forgotten? Have you forgotten all the feelings I inflicted on you? Have you forgotten how good you felt when you were with me? I can make that come back. You just have to come with me.”

“Go to hell.” I didn’t know that this simple sentence could mean the end of my life because the next thing I felt was a sharpness going through my body. And I knew this would be it. This would be the last few seconds before I was gone.

“Y/n!”, I heard someone shout, loud and piercing. I opened my eyes, only to have my vision be blurry. I tried to move, look who that voice belonged to and if I was imagining it again. “Go away and never come back, or I will have you killed and each and everyone of you creatures on this planet.”

I took a hurtful breath and it felt as if my lungs were filled with broken pieces of glass. My eyes tried to stay open, but I didn’t have the strength. “No, Y/n. Stay awake. Please don’t leave me.”

Whiteness surrounded me, filling me up and taking me in. Silence. I heard nothing more than silence. I tried looking around, kicking and fighting as I was trapped in nothing but endless vastness. Far away from me I could see something, or someone waiting for me. I tried to walk towards it, reaching my arms out to grab it, but I never came close.

“It’s not your time yet, Y/n.” And before I could question those words, my eyes opened.

It took me a few seconds to regain my vision, seeing the familiar walls of my room. As I remembered just what had happened, I felt panic filling my body, my breaths coming out faster than normal and my mind spiraling in wild circles.

“It’s okay, Y/n.”, I heard the voice of my father first before I felt his arms around my body, pulling me tightly into him. “Your safe. Nothing can hurt you anymore.”

I looked up at him with wide eyes and my mouth agape. I felt like a little kid again, crying in the arms of my father after having a bad dream. Just that this wasn’t a dream. This is reality.  

“It’s okay. We are on our way back home. That creature will never find you again, we made sure of that, okay?” My father held me with so much delicacy, fearing he might break me. “You’re safe. I won’t let anyone, or anything hurt you again.”

And I believed him. There in the arms of my father I believed his words. So, I closed my eyes, let the sleep consume me and hoped that this promise would be one he could keep.

September 10th, 1878

Day 64 on sea

I let the salt air take away all the scars of the past weeks as I watched the soft waves flow under the setting sun. This was the first time in eight days that I had the courage to leave my room. I couldn’t face the place where everything happened. The place where I almost lost myself.

I closed my eyes and imagined the soft grass under my toes, the chirping birds in my ear and the blinding sunlight in my eyes. I imagined biting into a sweet apple, feeling the fresh morning air on my skin and smiling at the veracity of the moment.

“Daydreaming again?”, I heard a voice in front of me, making an actual smile appear on my lips. A smile I haven’t let myself show in a long time.

“What brings you out here? Shouldn’t you be in your bed, sleeping like everyone else is?” Jisung just shrugged his shoulders, his hair softly swaying in the wind.

He showed me a sweet smile, sitting down beside me and taking one of my hands in his. “I am not going to ask you how are doing, since everyone else does that every day.” I nodded at him, grateful for not hearing the repeating question out of his mouth as well. “But I am going to ask you if you still feel the withdrawal, you told me about.”

My eyes filled with tears again and I tried my best to swallow them down. “Yes.”, I mumbled, looking down, too ashamed to let him see me this way. To let him see me so weak and pathetic. “Yes, I still feel it, every day. I long for him, and I know it isn’t right. He isn’t who he showed me to be. I know I was blinded by a trance. I was blinded by need. I know what I am feeling isn’t right and that he wasn’t right. But for a few seconds, for a few seconds every day, it felt real. For a few seconds every day I could just be. I could be me. I could forget the pain and my thoughts, and I could breathe.”

Jisung just nodded his head, not letting go of my hand, but he didn’t say a word. I appreciated that. I appreciated the quietness of him. Because as opposed to the others, he didn’t lecture me on my feelings. He didn’t tell me how it is wrong to feel the way I do and how I should have seen all this coming. He didn’t try to tell me how to move past this, or how to continue living my life. Jisung just stayed silent.

“Why are you awake?”, I asked him after a few moments, breaking the silence he gifted me.

“I couldn’t sleep. And the last time I told you about my sleeping problems, you told me you could tell me a story, like my mother did. A bedtime story to make me fall asleep.” I let the tears that still lingered in my eyes roll down my cold cheeks, as I nodded my head. “Will you tell me one?”

“Yes. Yes, of course. I will tell you any story you want.”

And so, I did.

I told everyone my story.

Bonus

“What took you so long?”

Haechan swam into the cave, brushing past everyone that was looking at him with expecting eyes. He ignored them all and just kept swimming.

“Answer my question.”, Jeno spoke louder this time, but Haechan just kept swimming. He didn’t care that everyone was waiting for him, waiting for him to fulfill his promise, to fulfill all the promises he had made for the past weeks.

“We had a fight.”, he told Jeno with a shrug of his shoulders, nonchalant about the other one’s questions. Haechan could see the disappointment and anger in the faces of everyone in the cave, and he couldn’t care less. He knew what he was doing was right. He knew it was necessary to go through all these lengths to get what he wanted, what everyone wanted.

“A fight?”, his friend repeated, skeptic lingering in his voice. “This isn’t a game, Haechan. We put our trust and time in your hands. How long until this plan of yours backfires? How long until they notice that their ship hasn’t been moving in days? How long until they discover us and put an end us?”

“Jeno.”, Haechan’s eyes piercing into the older boy, voice clearly stating a warning. “Have you lost all your trust in me? I know what I am doing.”

“Are you?” Everyone was looking at the two, anticipating the outcome of this long-awaited conversation. “You were the one promising us you were going to get us this girl. You were the one convincing us how much you were craving her and how much we should as well. And we have given you time, but all you do is play around. This isn’t a game, Haechan. This will determine our lives. Without her, we will not survive, and you are very well aware of that.”

“This is where you are wrong, my dear friend.” Haechan turned his body, facing all the sirens watching him. “This is a game, and I am the leader of it. This girl we are talking about is different from everyone we have ever had. This one is special. She isn’t easily fooled by my tricks, by my voice. She has a smart mind, that one.” A wide grin appeared on the siren’s lips, making him almost look crazy, and his eyes narrowed on his friend yet again. “This one will bring us everything we have ever dreamt of. And it will work. The game I am playing, the fight we were having today, it will all work in the end.”

“How can you be so sure of that?” The question lingered in the quiet of the cave, the eyes of everyone looking at Haechan, faith and trust all in his hands.

“Because it is all going according to plan.”, he announced, voice thick with pride and confidence. “It is all going according to my plan.”

#lee haechan #lee haechan imagine #lee haechan imagines #lee haechan angst #lee haechan nct 127 #lee haechan nct dream #lee haechan nct #nct dream imagines #nct dream x y/n #nct dream x reader #nct dream fanfic #nct imagines #nct 127 imagines #lee haechan x reader #haechan imagines #haechan x reader #haechan x y/n #lee haechan x y/n

[leerongrong]

❥ 𝐍𝐂𝐓 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 – they learn love through the little things.

⌜ mark ⌟

mark lives his days to the fullest; he laughs a lot, he has good food on the table, he has people who love him dearly, and he prays because he's grateful for all he's been given. but there are days he isn't content; he's human and the pressure put on him isn't something a 22 year old should be facing.

it was on those dark days when you showed him love through tranquility. the town was quiet with no one walking because of the downpour and you showed mark the beauty of simplicity, through bus rides.

"mark?" you whisper, hand gently carding through the front of his bangs as his head lols from side to side. not even a sudden movement from the bus wakes him from his sleep.

"be happy." you smile when he moves to cuddle your palm now placed on his cheek. "you of all people deserve to be happy."  

now, mark thinks of you whenever he sees a bus working its way down a street, the image of foggy glass a constant reminder of the constant love he receives.

⌜ renjun ⌟

if there's anything he wishes to have, it's to be his old self again. renjun feels like an old shell of who he used to be. days used to be filled with blue skies and he was ready to say hello to the bright future waiting for him. yet somehow, they all turned gray; a constant static he wishes he could break free from.

though one day his vision is dotted with flashes of yellow. you bring color into his life through the first sticky note you wrote on that day, stuffed in the pocket of his bag. there wasn't much on it, just a messy scribble of your writing in black saying 'i love you' with a smiley face next to it.

the next day, pitter patter of shoes and a shout catches renjun's attention before he could disappear into the practice room. he tilts his head when he sees you out of breath, one hand on your knee as you double over.

"what are you doing?" it's when he finally notices the lime sticky note in you other hand, comprehension hitting him as the words finally makes sense.

"sometimes it's going to be suffocating but give yourself sometime to breath. you're moving according to your own timeline and one can do it best except for you."

from that day forward, renjun smiles a little bit more as the colors that start to fill his life once again remind him of you.

⌜ jeno ⌟

jeno's life has always been filled with a buzz; he went on with his life around his friends, family, co-workers, and the millions of fans screaming his name. he went to school with his parents and older sister at a young age, he attended school with friends when he was a freshman, and now he puts on concerts to billions of people with his found family.

yet he doesn't feel secure and warmth from the people around him; it's a void in his heart and the echo of voices make his head spin whenever he steps into his room, the cold and comfort of his bed doing nothing to sooth his stress.

"jeno, i'm here. what's going on?" you step into jeno's room, seeing the boy curled up by the edge of the bed. you rush over at the sight of his shaking shoulders, an effort to calm himself down. "hey. what happened?"

"it's okay if you don't want to talk about it." you finger traces random patterns on his skin as you engulf him in a hug. his arms are around your waist and his head hiding in the crook of your neck. "i'm right here. i'll always be right here, jeno."

jeno learns to find comfort in silence from you.  he basks in your warmth and knows that all he needs is a calming presence to pull him through.

⌜ haechan ⌟

for all he knows. for all donghyuck ever knows is that he was given the name haechan because people wanted him to shine as bright as the sun.

he was given the term 'fullsun' meaning he was someone who needed to be as dashing and radiant as the sun that shines high in the sky. all day long, full weeks straight, from the start till the end of his career line.

and as much as he adores it, he hates it. he hates the dark circles starting to imprint under his eyes like a permanent tattoo. he despises the weight of his bones every time he's off camera, and he grimaces every time smiling feels more like a burden than a choice.

and yet, u bring him love through darkness like night. comforting like a toddler in the arms of his mother, lulling like gazing up at shooting starts at midnight, rejuvenating the day after a whole 24 hours of sleeping.

"it's okay to rest, love." you grumble, looking at haechan's reflection from across the room. his eyes are dark with lack of sleep and his expression monotone. "you don't have to earn rest. you need it, deserve it, are worthy of it."

"don't ever let anyone make you feel guilty for taking time to rest." your footsteps are soft, padding through the carpet to reach him and rest your hands on his shoulders. "sometimes walls, emotional blockage walls, they're there so we can lean on and rest."

a small smile breaks on haechan's lips, his head nodding as he slightly leans on your frame for support, the weight of his burdens slowly being lifted from his shoulders. "your smile could make flowers grow. don't ever lose it."

⌜ jaemin ⌟

jaemin has a long history with coffee. he's used to the fatigue seeping through his bones and the adrenaline that courses through him whenever he takes a shot of his coffee. he knows that it's bad for him; that he's borderline addicted to it but he can't find it in him to stop.

there are times when it tastes like heaven on earth but most of the times it's to dull his senses; a nagging reminder that he has so much to do with a body and mind that's threatening to crumble over without rest.

you bring love like a breath of fresh air, one he deliberately takes multiple gulps of, through tea. he hears your scolding more often than not, he distinctly remembers every mimic of your face; from your furrowed eyebrows, to your pout and especially your wrinkling nose, every time you catch him drinking coffee.

"stop drinking so much soul sucking liquids!" jaemin chokes on his coffee from your scolding and has to slam his fist into his chest to help with the shock. he feels your palms gently smoothing over his back to help. "oh gosh, i'm so sorry!"

"okay, okay, i'll stop." jaemin laughs, still slightly coughing out his drink. "i know you love me enough to scold me but maybe don't call coffee a soul sucking liquid while i'm drinking one?"

"whatever." you roll your eyes and smile when jaemin presses a kiss as an apology.

he doesn't realize it but jaemin has a fond look on his face every time he sees a kettle boiling. he has a special place in his cupboard for your ceramic tea cup, one that's the exact same as his because he thought it would be cute to match. he even bought a perfume of tea leaves and a tea set just to remind himself of the better half that is you.

⌜ chenle ⌟

chenle is used to being in the spotlight; he's had his fair share of fame since he was a kid and now he's part of one of the biggest kpop groups in the world. he's done his best with whatever he can control; practice, sleep, eat, repeat. yet he still can't control his short fuse.

he feels the need to explode sometimes,  people get on his nerves easily. he knows what its like to let his anger get the best of him and he knows the scolding that is bound to come right after.

"chenle, let's go over there." your voice breaks him out of his staring match with a rude employee. he's done his best to slowly let his anger simmer but nothing is helping him calm down. "let's drink our hot chocolate, yeah?"

chenle looks at nothing but the ground. all he sees is red until he feels your hand intertwine with his and recognizes your sweet tone. "you okay?" you bring him back by telling him to breath, reaching out to stroke his cheek. "i love you, chenle."

chenle sees you in the gentle breeze on a hot summer day, something smooth that brings him relief whenever he feels he might let himself slip away.

⌜ jisung ⌟

if jisung could describe himself in one word; it would be shy. he remembers hiding behind the shadows of his parents and brother, he knows he hides from the spotlight, becoming a side character in his own story.

"jisung! congratulations!" your shout from across the hallway has jisung hiding his face, groaning as attention gathers on him. "way to go! i knew you could do it!"

he hides his face behind his hands, eyes peaking through his fingers when he hears you stop in front of him. "did you have to shout?"

"yes," you frown. "jisung, you're number one in that dancing competition. you should be proud."

"i know but-"

"no buts!" you gently pry his hands away from his face, your smiling face coming into his view. "you're a winner jisungie, let the whole world know and celebrate!"

you bring love in the form of courage and jisung smiles at the thought of your bravery. your words make him want to live life as if it were a movie and he's the main character.

#nct dream x reader #nct dream imagine #nct dream reactions #nct dream fluff #mark lee x reader #na jaemin x reader #lee jeno x reader #park jisung x reader #lee haechan x reader #huang renjun x reader #zhong chenle x reader #mark lee imagine #na jaemin imagine #lee jeno imagine #park jisung imagine #lee haechan imagine #huang renjun imagines #zhong chenle imagine #nct x reader #nct imagine #nct fluff #nct reactions #mark lee fluff #na jaemin fluff #lee jeno fluff #park jisung fluff #lee haechan fluff #zhong chenle fluff #huang renjun fluff #nct dream

[ohmygs-blog]

boyfriend haechan.

#nct dream #nct #nct fanfic #nct scenarios #nct drabbles #nct fake texts #nct imagines #nct texts #nct x reader #nct fluff #nct dream fanfic #nct dream haechan #nct dream fic #nct dream x reader #nct dream ff #nct dream fake texts #donghyuck #lee donghyuck #haechan #lee haechan #nct haechan #nct lee haechan #nct lee donghyuck #nct donghyuck #haechan x reader #haechan fluff #donghyuck fic #donghyuck drabbles #nct smut #nct 127

[midmourn]

you storm out after a fight

♡ nct dream ﹒ gender neutral!reader genre angst warnings language and just general warning for angst note if yall have any requests let me know 🫶 ( library )

#kflixnet #k films #k labels #nct dream #nct #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct angst #kpop imagines #nct reactions #nct fluff #na jaemin #na jaemin imagines #huang renjun #huang renjun imagines #lee jeno #lee haechan #mark lee angst #mark lee imagines #mark lee #lee jeno imagines #haechan imagines #zhong chenle imagines #zhong chenle #park jisung imagines #park jisung #nct dream imagines #nct 127 #kpop fake texts #kpop angst

[jishyucks]

⋆.˚ on a whim — ldh ˚.⋆

‣ pairing: haechan x reader

‣ genre: friends-to-lovers?, fluff

‣ wc: 1.06k

‣ summary: ❝What if… what if I kissed you?❞; alternatively, you impulsively suggest to be your best friend's first kiss

‣ warnings: I wouldn't say it's steamy at the end but it's like,,, sorta detailed

‣ an: this is bc hyuck in glasses makes me want to do backflips (this is literally self-indulgent)

“I’m almost done with this assignment and then after we can watch a movie, sound good to you?” 

You scribbled down a few words, waiting for Donghyuck to respond to your question, but you were returned with a half-assed hum. This catches your attention, mainly because it wasn’t like Donghyuck to be disinterested in a movie. He said once that movie nights were his favourite nights. 

“Hyuck?” you shift your attention from your work to your best friend, brows knitting together. 

Donghyuck’s lying on your bed, eyes looking straight up to the ceiling with an empty expression. You don’t even think he’s blinking. 

“Hyuck.” Your voice is firm, trying to catch his attention. You can’t even see him blinking through his glasses, lips falling into a pout.

“Lee Donghyuck!” 

You finally catch his attention, though all he does is turn his head in your direction, “Yeah? Sorry… I zoned out.” He sits up on your bed, crossing his legs underneath him. 

“I was saying how I’ll just finish this assignment and then we can go on with movie night,” you repeat, “Are you okay? Still up for it?” Your head tilts to the side and Donghyuck has to look away before you cause his heart to arrest. 

“Of course I am, I just…” He bites his bottom lip and blinks at the wheels of your chair.

“Is this about what my friends said earlier?” You frown. In all honesty, you didn’t even want to talk about it because you know your anger issues are going to take over. When Donghyuck fails to give you a reply, you follow the question up, “It is, isn’t it?”

“My feelings are valid,” he retorts stiffly, falling back onto his back, “I know I’m pathetic for not even getting my first fucking kiss at this age but—”

“You’re not pathetic, Hyuck,” you interrupt, angry at how he was putting himself down for something so ridiculous, “Don’t say that. Everyone lives life at their own pace.” You throw a soft punch at his knee and he yelps despite it not hurting. 

“I know, you’ve told me that before, but when it’s pointed out, I see why it’s stupid,” he goes on, “Like not one person has brought themselves to want to kiss me? How pathetic is that?”

Trains of thought begin running through your head and you let the question hang in the air for too long. Far too long that this makes Donghyuck nervous, “You could at least say that it is pathetic instead of not saying any–”

“What if… what if I kissed you?” 

Donghyuck shoots up, “What?”

“What if I kissed you.” You say more confidently, “Then you could say that you kissed someone.”

Donghyuck’s chewing on his lip now, unsure whether or not this would be a good idea, “You’d do that?... Would that even count?” 

“I’ll count it if you do…” You say, “Besides, if you’re okay with it, and I’m okay with it, it counts.” Your legs scooches your chair closer to Donghyuck, almost as if anticipating his answer. 

If Donghyuck was being honest, he liked the idea. It’s not like he’s been waiting for this for the longest time, no… he just thought it was a good idea. And it was you he was going to kiss for god’s sake. He trusted you, he cared about you, he wouldn’t mind if his first kiss was you. Hell, he wanted his first kiss to be you, “Okay.”

You scoot closer so that your knees touch his, “Go whenever you’re ready.”

“O-okay,” Donghyuck’s taken aback by how straight forward you’re being. He nods once and shifts forward in place, leaning forward to bring his face closer to yours, “Okay, I’ll do it now.” 

You can feel his warm breath on your face and it somehow sends you shivers down your neck. The proximity between the two of you is small. It felt like he was doing it on purpose to tease you and you were tempted to be the one who closed the gap between the two of you. 

Donghyuck comes closer and you’re ready to close your eyes, but then he pulls away, “Shit, s-sorry.” He apologizes, “I’m fucking this up, aren’t I?” A frown grows on his lips, worried that he was actually making it awkward between the two of you, just because of a kiss, “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

You nod, “I’m the one who suggested it, Hyuck.” 

He huffs and nods again. He starts closing in on you. His hands instinctively reach up to grab your face, and at that point you know he’s going to commit to it. Just like earlier, you feel his breath tickle your lips, and before you know it, Donghyuck’s plush lips are pressed up against yours. 

Donghyuck holds back a gasp, holding his lips to yours. For a moment, he’s afraid he’s doing it wrong, unsure whether or not he’s moving his lips correctly, but the second you begin kissing back, hands finding the back of his neck in hopes of finding something to hold onto, a sense of relief washes over him. 

He pulls away to breathe before pushing his mouth back onto yours. The kiss was deep, that was for sure, something he didn’t expect to happen. When you suggested a kiss, he thought you meant something along the lines of a ‘one-two’ and done, not this. But he didn’t mind it. And it seemed like you didn’t either.

In fact, he likes the feeling. There’s a warm feeling growing in his chest the longer the kiss lasts and he couldn’t get enough of it. 

So this was why people did it so often. It felt good.

Donghyuck’s arms slither around your figure, bringing his hands to your back. Then he pulls you closer. And again, you don’t mind. 

And just as he feels your tongue tapping gently on his lips to let him in, Donghyuck feels something sharp scratch the bridge of his nose and it doesn’t take him long to realize that his glasses were getting in the way of everything. 

He pulls back, groaning, out of breath before he rips them off of his face—because, no, he doesn’t care if he can’t see your face. All he wants to do is kiss you. 

“Fuck it,” he mutters before he smashes his lips back onto yours. 

#haechan #haechan imagines #haechan scenarios #lee donghyuck #nct dream imagines #nct dream scenarios #my nct writings #my writings #nct imagines #nct #nct dream #nct 127 #nct donghyuck #nct haechan #donghyuck imagines #donghyuck scenarios #Kpop imagines #Kpop scenarios #Donghyuck #Lee haechan #Nct 127 imagines #haechan x reader #haechan x reader fluff

[chriscentric]

lee haechan x reader - texts.

had fun making a jaehyun bf text so i decided to make hyuck’s version!

cw // suggestive idk, kys kms jokes, overall silly fluffy texts with dumbass bf haechan!!

#nct texts #nct smaus #nct 127 texts #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 smaus #nct fluff #nct x reader #lee haechan fluff #lee haechan texts #lee haechan smaus #lee haechan x reader #nct fake texts #nct fluff imagines #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct dream #nct dream fluff #nct dream smaus #nct dream texts #nct dream fake texts #lee donghyuck smaus #lee donghyuck fluff #lee donghyuck x reader #lee haechan soft hours #kpop fake texts #kpop smaus #nct 127 x reader #nct dream x reader #nct social media #nct lee haechan

[marklease]

asking bf dreamies for separate beds

telling clingy dreamies you wanna start sleeping in separate beds. enjoy!

requests open, i’m back everyone! 🥺🫶

#i also just noticed that my banner image doesn’t have renjun WHAT #i’m so sorry renjun girlies #nct dream #nct #nct 2023 #nct drabbles #nct fake texts #nct fanfic #nct fluff #nct imagines #mark lee #haechan #lee jeno #renjun #jisung #jaemin #chenle

[luvyeni]

❛PERV!BOYFRIEND HEADCANNONS❜ ( l. haechan )

p. pervboyfriend!haechan x fem!reader w. 0.3k+

warnings? 18+ headcannons, voyerism, unprotected sex, hyuck is down bad horrendously

request: may i request something with pervboyfriend!haechan please?

authors note. perv haechan one of my fav tropes, i hope you enjoy it 💗 !!

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Pervboyfriend!haechan who is clingy and I mean clingy as hell , he basically wants to live in your skin and gets whiny when you try and pull him off. “Haechan please give me space.” “why, I just need to feel you, just let me feel you.”

Pervboyfriend!haechan who pulls you into a back hug in public, it looks cute to outsiders but no one sees him rutting his hips against you, his cock twitching against your ass. “hae-haechan be calm.” “fu-fuck im almost there please.”

Pervboyfriend!haechan who will follow you around, slapping your ass. you could be just doing anything like washing laundry or cleaning and he’ll come and repeatedly slap your ass until you tell him to stop. “hyuck stop touching my ass.” “what’s yours is mines so technically your ass is mines and I want to slap it.

Pervboyfriend!haechan who pulls your shirt down while you’re laying in bed to suck on your tits, taking your hand to put it in his hair signaling that he wants you to play with his hair. “god I love your tits so much.”

Pervboyfriend!haechan who purposely leaves the door open so you can hear him jerking off when you deny her, sometimes he’ll just pull his pants down in front of you and jerk off if you still won’t give him attention. “fu-fuck yn i can’t cum without you I need your cunt.”

Pervboyfriend!haechan who can spend hours in between your legs, eating you out and rutting his cock against the bed as you cry out his name, he is so addicted to your taste it’s his favorite taste. “baby I need more ,  I need to taste you some more.”

Pervboyfriend!haechan who will overstimulate himself just because he’s so pussy drunk and needs to keep fucking you, even if he’s shooting blanks. “fu-fuck I can’t stop, i love your pussy so much.”

©️LUVYENI

#kpop x reader #kpop smut #nct scenarios #nct hard thoughts #nct hard hours #nct headcanons #nct x female reader #nct x reader #nct dream hard thoughts #nct dream hard hours #nct dream headcanons #nct dream scenarios #nct dream x reader #nct dream smut #lee haechan smut #lee haechan x reader #haechan x reader #haechan smut #haechan headcanons #haechan imagines #haechan scenarios

[tqmies]

6 Reasons I hate boys - teaser

Description. You and your friends have a pact, no dating unless you are. This is only fair seeing as you’re highly unlikely to ever get in a relationship, seeing as you tend to brush off every males advances. Unfortunately for you though, Na Jaemin really wants to date your friend, he’ll do anything! Even go as far as pay Lee Haechan, resident playboy, to change your mind about the whole dating thing.

Pairings. Lee Haechan x Female Reader

Genre. Romance, Enemies!(Sorta)To!Lovers, Comedy,

Warnings. sexual innuendos, drinking, angst, crying, and more probably.

Word count. Estimated 13K maybe? I’m at 10k currently haha. 

Teaser Length: 1.6K

Note: Send an ask or drop a comment to be added into the taglist when I post the full fic! Hehe brownie points if you can guess what this is slightly inspired by (like it’s not totally obvious by my banner) 

FULL FIC NOW POSTED ! 

ONE, THEY MAKE EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM.

You laid sprawled on your couch as your friends continued to gossip. This was a normal thing, you’d invite your friends over, have a few drinks and gossip would ensure. You didn’t mind it, truth be told, but there was a reason today was particularly sour.

Na Jaemin, Huang Renjun, and Lee Jeno had crashed your impromptu get together. Well, more like Yeji invited them, bless her heart. But did she really have to? Her explanation was that her and your other friend Chaewon ran into them on campus. From there, they had invited the boys to drink with them.

Sure, you get it, the boys paid for the alcohol. But really? Was it necessary?

They had taken all the attention away, practically commanding the room, and you couldn’t stand it. Of course! Here come’s buff jock Jeno, charming Jaemin, and pretty boy Renjun to steal the spotlight. And you detested all of it.

You and Karina sat with mild scowls on your faces, her’s from her lack of knowing other guests were invited. Being your roommate, she had done little besides change into a fresh pair of sweatpants and t-shirt, not expecting boys to come over. She freaked out for like five minutes after opening the door, you assuring her that she looked fine, but she was peeved for lack of warning anyways.

She took the loss and just decided to sit in self loathing over these boys seeing her without makeup. Doing little to contribute to the conversation, you just twisted the string on your hoodie as they called out your name.

“Do you have any lemons?” Jeno asks, looking over at you. His tone somewhat softer, trying not to piss you off. Even though he was already failing.

You barely even realize it’s you that he’s addressing, having tuned everyone out. You almost roll your eyes as your face scrunches upon realization of his question. “Why do you need lemons?”

“Jaemin likes his vodka with some lemon juice.” He explains, the other staring at you expectantly before looking between you two.

Of course he does, you just sigh and get off your spot in the couch. Karina follows after you, clinging onto you as a source of warmth. She didn’t want to be left alone without you after all.

“What kind of guy drinks their vodka like that? Be a man!” She mutters, pulling out a cutting board and knife as you open your refrigerator in search of the lemon.

“I don’t even know if we have one.” You say, standing in front of your fridge with your hands on your hips. Digging through the drawers, you pull out the only round object to be found. “We have a lime.”

Karina snorts and grabs it from you, slicing it in half. “It’ll have to do.”

You laugh at her remark as she makes her way back into the living room with the wedges of lime. Karina was your oldest friend, you two meeting in middle school. Attending university and living with her was a no brainer, and it was going really well. During your freshmen year, you two had met Yeji in the library, Karina befriending her after basically living there during exam season. You two welcomed her into your friendship shortly after that. She then introduced you to her desk partner in finance class, which was Chaewon. You guys all clicked and that led to your little found family that you had here.

You hoped these boys didn’t expect to squeeze their way into this sisterhood.

Karina hands Jaemin the lime, shrugging as he looks at it, then back at her. He awkwardly smiles and squeezes it into his drink. Though you can definitely tell he thinks this is the worst thing in the world, well at least he’s polite.

You and Karina go back to practically cuddling on the couch, her head right next to yours as you share a blanket. For the next ten minutes, you two sit in silence showing each other pictures on your phone, to which earns a nod or a hum of agreement.

The others sit on the floor, around your rectangular coffee table, with the bottles all over it. Yeji nudges Chaewon though, tilting her heads towards you two. You guys were usually so loud, had something happened?

Yes, something happened. Boys happened.

“Don’t you guys wanna sit down here?” Chaewon asks, patting the carpeted ground next to her. “And have a drink maybe? I haven’t even seen you two touch your cups.”

Renjun speaks up. “Yeah, you guys should come talk!”

“We,” You begin, gesturing a between you and Karina. “Are talking plenty.”

“How’s the lime, by the way?” Karina speaks up, smirking at Jaemin.

Jaemin just gives a forced smile and a thumbs up, though his drink remains untouched minus a sip. And even that, was a stretch.

Yeji gestures for you two to come sit, giving you two a stern look this time. She definitely was just wondering why you guys were acting so reclusive. She’s adamant, you’ll give her that.

Deciding that, maybe you’ve had enough attitude for one day, you take Chaewon up on her offer, plopping next to her. The spots also next to Renjun, who you deem to be the most bearable of the boys, so its not too bad. Karina sits on the opposite side of Chaewon, sandwiched between her and Yeji. Damn, you should’ve thought of that first.

“So, are you all single, or what?” Jeno asks, pouring himself another shot. He asks only out of genuine curiosity, but you think your demeanor spoke for itself.

You lied, you can never have enough attitude in one singular day.

Yeji nods. “Yeah, for a while now.”

“Can I ask why?” Jaemin asks, taking a sip of his drink. “I find it hard to believe none of you have found anyone you’ve liked here.”

“Why is that hard to believe? I find boys quite insufferable.” You speak, finally letting yourself have a taste of that vodka. The boys turn to you and you smile back sarcastically, having no qualms about what you had said.

“That’s why.” Chaewon sits up, looking at you. “We have this sort of, pact thing.”

“You really wanna get into this now, Chae?” Karina pipes up, knowing how this usually goes.

“A pact?!” Jeno looks confused.

“We have this rule, since we started this year, that we wouldn’t date anyone. You know, to keep our focus on academics and our jobs.” Yeji explains, the boys looking at you like you were all crazy. This was the normal response, shocked and somewhat disappointed looks, not like you cared though.

“So what? Plenty of people do that and still have relationships.”

“We’re just trying to stay as focused as possible.” Karina defends, shooting you a knowing look.

“There is however,” Chaewon starts, putting down her empty glass. “One exception to the rule.”

“Well?” Jaemin asks, leaning closer like a kid waiting to be told an answer.

“Yn is the most responsible one between all of us. If anyone can do both, it’s them. Therefore, if she gets a boyfriend, the rest of us are free to date!”

“That sounds stupid.” Renjun deadpans, and you’d kind of agree. It wasn’t even your idea anyways, they just held you to such a standard that they believed the day you got a boyfriend would be the end to all. Therefore, they placed their bets on staying focused onto you staying single. Normally, you’d be offended, but so far it was shaping up to be true.

“We take this super serious as well.” Yeji nods. “Absolutely no boyfriends unless she has one. It’s just the pact of this friend group.”

“Plus, Yn runs from boys like the plague. So it only seems viable to stake our academic performance on her.” Karina adds on, shooting you a teasing smile.

“Wow thanks guys.” You mumble. “I feel so loved.”

Chaewon rolls her eyes. “You don’t have a boyfriend because you don’t want one. We are just following in your example.”

“So basically, this exception is impossible. Which is why you put it as one?” Renjun tries to follow and all the girls nod in response.

Oh Jaemin was in deep shit now. He knew about you, everyone in the room did. You laughed in the face of anyone who tried to romantically peruse you, not that they wanted to anymore anyways. Last time he heard a boy try to hit on you, it ended horribly for the entire hockey team.

To put it plainly, you were never going to get a boyfriend.

Jaemin wishes he had known about this before he fell head over heels for Chaewon. How could he not? That girl is perfect! But now upon hearing about her absolute refusal to date, this only meant certain rejection for him. He wanted to just be swallowed into your deep shaggy carpet, just let Jeno pry him out with a stick or something. This was just mission impossible, and he was no Tom Cruise.

“So none of you have dated before?” Jaemin asks, hoping he can get a hopeful response out of his crush.

“I had a boyfriend when I met Yn,” Karina starts, face turning sour. “Let’s just say there’s a reason I was down for this agreement.”

“Never had time.” Yeji looks away, clearly embarrassed at sharing her lack of relationships.

“Me neither!” Chaewon agrees, and Jaemin all but deflates. She was absolutely unattainable, as if she wasn’t before, it’s even more amplified now!

“And you?” Renjun asks, giving you a small smile as he tries to include you in the conversation. Though, you're not really having it.

“Doesn’t really matter, does it? It’s not like I’m getting one now.” And with that you decide to find solace in your phone, choosing to ignore the rest of the conversation for the night. If only it was that simple.

#nct fic #nct fanfic #nct fanfiction #nct imagines #nct dream fanfic #nct dream fanfiction #nct 127 fanfic #nct 127 #lee haechan #lee haechan x reader #lee haechan imagine #lee haechan imagines #haechan imagine #haechan fic #haehcan fic recs #haechan imagines #haechan nct #nct dream haechan #haechan x reader #haechan x yn #haechan #haechan fanfics #nct dream fanfics #nct dream imagine #nct dream imagines

[rainbowhao]

pillow ♡ haechan

genre: fluff ⭒ word count: under 0.5k

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

"what are you doing down there?" hyuck peers at you. you’re snuggled up against his torso, face pressed into his tummy and limbs spread out across the bed.

your words are muffled. “laying on you.” 

he chuckles. “on my stomach?” his fingers thread through your hair. the action has your eyes closing in contentment, a faint smile on your lips.

“i used to do this with my mom.” you tell him before gently yawning. he’s so warm beneath you, so soft and comforting that you could fall asleep any minute.

what you don’t know is he’s holding his breath, bottom lip caught between his teeth. your hand’s snuck beneath his shirt and hyuck’s contemplating the situation. no one’s touched him here before; he’s always been shy.

“love your tummy.” you sigh dreamily. “it’s better than any pillow.” the confession has your boyfriend’s head spinning even more. a light blush stains his cheeks.

“really?” hyuck asks, fingers stilling in your hair. he’d never thought about it that way.

while he’s deep in thought, you’ve slowly begun to lift the bottom of his shirt, revealing just enough of his lower stomach to pepper kisses. “it’s so cute,” you murmur in between pecks, lips softly grazing every inch of skin.

now hyuck’s certainly blushing. “maybe—maybe we can do this again?” he says. 

turns out he likes this.

#haechan #nct #nct dream #nct 127 #nct fluff #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct x reader #haechan fluff #lee donghyuck #nct fanfic #nct haechan #nct drabbles #nct dream fluff #haechan scenarios #haechan imagines #nct fic #haechan x reader

[endthedream]

Teaser

pairing: siren!haechan x human!reader (she her)

summary: Insanity isn’t what she expected to receive when she joined her father and his crew on an expedition, full of men who think she isn’t capable of anything. But it’s all that she got after seeing nothing but endless water every single day. Maybe that’s why her mind started imagining a strange boy who finally shows her the appreciation she deserves. Maybe that’s why she ignores the way she can’t escape the trance he puts her in whenever he sings a melody for her. Or maybe everything is real, and the boy isn’t who he pretending to be.

words: 10-12k

story colour: green

release date: Friday 8th, 2023

click here to go to the finished story

August 27th, 1878

Day 50 on sea

I am losing my mind.

This can’t be real. I am writing this down to make sure I am wide awake and not dreaming.

I woke up from a noise. At first, I thought I was imagining it, because lately I’ve been imagining a lot of things. I wanted to go back to sleep, being exhausted from, well, doing absolutely nothing all day long, but then I heard it again.

It wasn’t just a noise. It was a melody, a very beautiful one. It sounded like the gateway to heaven, like it was sung by angels. And it made me feel drowsy.

I knew I needed to rest more, but something about this melody pulled me in. It made me forget the throbbing pain in my body and the events that happened days before. All it made me want to do was reach it, engrave it into my skin. It made me want to never hear anything else.

I was in a trance, no thoughts inside my head anymore.

So, I got up, walked out onto the deck of the ship to find out where this melody comes from. But when I reached the deck, I didn’t expect to see a boy sitting on the railing.

But it wasn’t an ordinary boy. Oh, no. Not like the ones I’ve seen in my town growing up. I can’t describe him in any other way than captivating. His jet-black hair softly swayed in the night wind, covering his eyes every few seconds. His cheeks adopted a soft rosy color from the coldness, contrasting the tan of his skin. And his eyes were almost as dark as the night sky.

I don’t know why I stared at him for such a long time, and I don’t know why he let me.

“You’re here.” Those were his first words. The first time I heard his voice. A voice that made time stop for a moment. I couldn’t hear the waves crashing against each other anymore, or the cracking of the old wood the ship was built with. I couldn’t even hear my heartbeat pumping against my chest. All I could hear was him. “I was waiting for you.”

“Who are you?” That was not what I wanted to ask him at that moment, but the sane part of my brain must have sensed that something wasn’t right. Something about the way my body reacted to this strange man was dubious.

“Haechan.”, he spoke with a soft voice, turning his body so that he fully faced me. A smirk was placed on his lips, only intensifying his tantalizing physique. “And you are?”

“Y/n.” My name came out in a mere whisper, fearing that my voice might have broken if I spoke any louder. I couldn’t stop staring at him, still having being sure that my mind was playing a trick on me or, well, still is.

For days no one has checked in on me, no one has talked to me more than five words. I’ve been on this ship for way too long seeing nothing but the endless nothingness of the sea. My mind has been plagued with recuring thoughts, never once having a quiet moment. Maybe this is the final sign. Maybe this is it. I am insane. So insane that I’m imagining a boy sitting on the rail of the ship just so that I have someone to talk to.

“A beautiful name for a beautiful girl.” Reaching one hand out, the boy signaled me to come closer to him. Every part of my body longed to take his hand and sit on the rail with him, but doubts started to float my brain.

“What are you doing here? How did you get on this ship?” Haechan, as I learned his name, just chuckled, a low sound that was so different from his honey voice. He looked amused at my asking, almost like he was making fun of me.

“Why did you come out here, Y/n?” I remember frowning at him, clearly feeling upset that he chose to ignore my question and ask one of his own. I felt upset that this boy, which I probably made up in my mind, didn’t show any respect for me at all. He, just like the others, ignores what I have to say, and I didn’t want to get treated that way, not after what happened last time.

So, instead of answering him, I turned around, heading back to my bed. But before I could even take a step, the melody I heard earlier started again. All the thoughts that I had in my mind at that moment flew away and I was, yet again, caught in a trance. It was like I couldn’t escape, even if I wanted to.

“It’s you.”, I whispered, but he still heard me. I knew that because the melody got louder, clearer. I closed my eyes, letting his voice enter every part of my body. I let it fill me up and shut me down at the same time. I let it rearrange my mind and mend my wounds, but I also let it cut me open and bleed me dry. I gave myself into the sweet penetration of his honey laced voice and wanted nothing more than to make all his wishes and desires come true. I would have given him the world if it was possible. My whole body felt like it was floating on top of a cloud, high up in the sky and there was no way of ever coming down again. I was trapped.

“Come closer.”, he murmured, voice deeper and almost impending.

“No.”, I quivered, suddenly scared of ever opening my eyes again.

“Please, Y/n.”, he pleaded, and I could nearly hear the desperation in his voice. “Just please look at me.” And so, I did. He was not sitting on the rail anymore, he was standing right in front of me. A small smile on his lips and one hand stretched out to me. “Come closer please. I don’t want anything else from you.”

And as I was about to take the step towards him, give in to his demand and the growing need inside of me to grant all his wishes, I heard a voice behind me, calling out my name and breaking the trance I was in.

“Y/n?”

#lee haechan #lee haechan x reader #lee haechan imagine #lee haechan imagines #lee haechan fluff #lee haechan nct #lee haechan nct dream #nct dream imagines #nct 127 imagines #lee haechan nct 127 #nct dream x y/n #nct 127 x reader #haechan #haechan fanfic #haechan imagines #haechan x reader #haechan x you #haechan x y/n

[tmzrkstan]

nct dream text: they sending a pic to you.

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genre: fluff, smutty jokes, dating.

masterlist

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#kpop #kpop imagines #kpop reactions #imagine #nct #nct x reader #nct texts #nct reactions #nct dream texts #nct dream x reader #mark lee #renjun #lee jeno #haechan #jaemin #chenle #park jisung

[ohmygs-blog]

calling dreamies pretty boy.

#nct dream #nct #nct drabbles #nct dream fake texts #nct fake texts #nct fanfic #nct fluff #nct imagines #nct x you #nct mark #mark lee #nct renjun #renjun #nct jeno #jeno #nct haechan #haechan #nct jaemin #jaemin #nct chenle #chenle #nct jisung #jisung #nct x yn #nct scenarios #nct texts #nct x reader #nct ff #nct fic rec #nct fic recs

[midmourn]

they cheat on you in your dream

♡ nct dream ﹒ gender neutral!reader genre humor, fluff warnings none, i think? note if yall have any requests let me know 🫶 ( library )

#k labels #k films #kflixnet #nct dream #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct angst #kpop imagines #nct reactions #nct fluff #na jaemin #nct #nct fake texts #nct texts #lee jeno imagines #lee jeno #haechan imagines #lee donghyuck #mark lee imagines #mark lee #zhong chenle imagines #zhong chenle #park jisung #park jisung imagines #huang renjun imagines #huang renjun #na jaemin imagines #kpop fake texts #kpop reactions #kpop fluff