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skyebounded · 8 months

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Better Unspoken

Masterlist .Harry Potter Universe Masterlist.

premise: Theo isn't sure how much more he can take without telling you what you mean to him.

pairing: Theodore Nott x Fem!Reader

warnings: angst, swearing... My type of Love Confession!!!

wc: 2.8K

a/n: I'm sorry. <3

His strides seemed to slow, the once steady pace that you had set, had fallen short. You were leading, blissfully unaware of the lack of companionship by your side in the moment. Theo had fallen victim to the very thoughts that plagued him, letting them dictate his every move as he watched you trudge forward, back up to the castle doors, happily. He watched as you laughed to yourself at the conversation you were seemingly having with him. He watched the snow fall onto your cheeks, instantly melting at your touch, or the way it coated your beanie and coat. He was mesmerised by you, every little thing that you did, he was mesmerised. You had been with one of his closest friends for some time now, and yet he couldn't seem to be happy for you, for Enzo, and it was simple really, he couldn’t because it wasn't him that you were happy with.

“Crazy, righ- Theo?” You turned around, stopping in your tracks to face him. His hands were stuffed deep into his pockets and his body ridgid. “Are you okay?” You spoke so softly, your words so caring and delicate as you approached him. Theo made no move, no gesture towards you, it was only a numb look. His gaze fell to the imprinted snow beneath your feet, studying it as if it had the answer to his questions. It had been eating him alive. This past year tearing him apart little by little, and he wasn't sure that he could keep it to himself any longer. He felt as though he had to tell you, no matter the consequences, he just had to. Your voice, softly calling his name again, had him looking back up at you, his eyes soft and sorrowful, and it scared you. He took a step forward, leaning his head down slightly before he opened his mouth, taking a deep breath.

“I have to tell you something, and I….” He was struggling to find the words, glancing around like he was waiting for someone to help him out.

“What is it, Theo? Can it wait till we get to the cast-” you start, before he cuts you off, taking another step towards you in desperation.

“y/n….please just listen to me…”

“Oka-what do you mea-” you started, a hint of panic in your tone. His suddenty was making you nervous, that is until realisation hit you. Standing there, staring up at him, the crazed look in his eyes, and you knew. Knew what he meant, what he wanted to say. You could see what was hiding behind that look, the soft yearning, and need for understanding, the pleading, far before it had even begun. There was no coming back from what he was about to say, nothing that could be done to stop it, but you had to try. You shook your head, your breath hitching the moment he took another step forward, mere inches from where you stood. You held your breath, staring at him, nearly frozen out of fear.

“Theo, please. Don't do this, please don't do this-” It was barely a whisper that left you, and he heard it, you knew he had, but it didn’t stop him. He moved forward, frantically reaching out for you as if he would never get the chance to touch you again, as his hands met your arms, grabbing them as he lowered himself just enough to be level to you.

“I have too, I have to tell you how I fee-” He started. You could hear the urgency dripping off of each word, the way he seemed to speak as if he was fearful that he would never get his chance to say it again. His eyes darted between your own, a glass like glaze over the soft shade of blue, as he searched for some type of understanding behind them.

“No Theo, no you don’ t, you don-” It was almost a whine, an involuntary beg on your part, as you pulled from his grasp, and yet made no movement to get away from him.

“Y/n, please, you have to understand, I can’t help it, i can’t just stop it, you know that, you know I can’t-”

“Theo think! Please! Think about Enzo..” you tried, tried to make him think about his lifelong friend, the one that stood between the pair of you and everything that Theo wanted. “He is your best friend, your best friend! Please, please think about that before you say what you are about to say. Theo pleas-”

“I know, I know he is, trust me I know-” there it was again, the shaky breath, the soft tones of imploration.

“Enzo, Theo-” you pleaded, forcing back tears that were on the cusp of escaping.

“And I know that! I know that y/n, and I love him like a brother I promise you I do, but I can’t just sit by. I can’t! Not without telling you how I feel, y/n please-” he implored, his hands coming up to reach for you again, only to fall flat by his side when you shy away from him. He hated this, seeing the way you were fighting him, the way you were pleading with him to stop, but he couldn’t let you. Perhaps it came down to some diluted fantasy, one where you would allow him to tell you how he felt, one where you would see what he meant, see his desperation and the desire for you, that you would have some type of understanding and would chose him, and sure he knew that wasn't going to be the case, but he had to hope.

“Theo…” you mutter, your heart breaking for him, for the wounded way he was looking at you, for the way his hands were nearly clasped together as if he were in prayer begging for forgiveness. “Theo ple-”

“Y/n I am in love with you, and I can't just make it go away…I can’t-I can’t, and I can’t by any means keep it to myself..not anymore, y/n. Not when it is killing me little by little..” he couldn’t seem to stop himself as he spoke. His voice hoarse and broken as the confession that he had been holding in for only merlin knows how long now, was pouring from him as if he had no control over it anymore in floods of pathetic desperation. Perhaps he didn’t have any control. Perhaps the lie that he had been living was tearing him apart piece by piece, and the only way to soothe it was to get it out to you, to explain and pray that you could understand, no matter the repercussions it was sure to have. It had begun to take its toll on him, watching you with Enzo, pretending that he was nothing but happy for the pair of you. It consumed him, driving him to mere madness and this felt like the only way to solve it, and he hated it. He hated himself for it, for thinking that it was okay, that maybe there was a chance he could steal you for himself, a chance that you would want him just as much as he wanted you. He hated himself for doing this behind his best friends back without so much as a care. It was so unbelievable selfish and he knew that, but he didn’t care, he couldn’t care not when he had spent all this time loving you, watching you, needing you. He knew what this could mean for his relationships with not only you, but Enzo too, and he was willing to throw it all away for that small sliver of hope that you would return his feelings.

Theo took a deep shaky breath, trying his hardest to read your thoughts, to see if he could understand even the slightest bit of what you were feeling towards him, but the moment your lips parted, he panicked, fear consuming him. He couldn’t let you speak out towards his admission, he couldn’t let you stop him.

Your hand reached up to silence him, to cover his mouth and cease the flow of the poison he was trying to spew, but it was of no use, he was faster. He reached out grabbing ahold of your hands, soothingly running his thumbs gently over the tops of them, appalled at how cold your touch was. Your hands were frozen, you were cold, and here he was, selfishly keeping you outside the castle walls, simply for his own greed. He couldn’t feel nature's effect, not anymore, not while fuelled with pure adrenaline, but you, a poor innocent bystander in this, could. He clamped your hands together, hoping that covered by his, could find some warmth in them.

“Y/n…I can’t…I can’t go on like this, knowing that I feel this way.” He was breaking, and you could see it. He needed you to feel something other than an undeniable no. He needed reassurance that this, what he was confessing wasn’t for nothing, but you couldn’t give him that, not now. You wanted to reach out for him, to offer him some type of comfort no matter how small, but what would that fix? Nothing, and though you hated to admit it, you were afraid that it might not only give him some senses of hope, but also that it would do nothing more than confuse not only him, but you. You loved Theo, you always had, and perhaps not in the way that he did for you, or at least never to the degree that he was experiencing. There was a small sliver of you that once wanted him the way he wanted you now, and that small sliver was begging you on its own to let him continue to pour his heart out. But you loved Enzo, and you had for some time now. You loved him and who you were with him, and nothing was worth risking that over. All you could do was to shake your head, soft desperate ‘no’s escaping you, praying, no, pleading that he would stop, that he would give up, because it wasn’t fair, none of it was. You sunk your teeth, feebly into your quivering bottom lip, slowly shaking your head, your eyes flooded with unreleased tears. You weren’t breathing, holding onto that breath like a tether, as you waited.

“I have to make you understand…I can’t spend another moment listening to the stories of you and Enzo, knowing that it should be by your side, that it should be me taking care of you, making you smile and laugh, making you happy every waking chance that I can… I can’t take more of pretending that it doesn't hurt me, or that I’m okay when I'm really not. Y/n, please, I am begging you…make it stop, please for me…. Tell me you- tell me you love me or- no, just tell me you love m-….” he couldn’t finish his sentence, the words caught in the back of his throat as he looked down at you with those soft pleading eyes, that glass-like look to his eyes now one filled with tears of his own, but the tears that were beginning to fall from your eyes held him captive, they silenced him.

He could feel his world shattering before him as he looked at you, could feel you pulling away in ways that he knew he couldn’t follow, couldn’t pull you back from. He had single handedly ruined the only thing in his life that had any meaning to him whatsoever. You were slipping from him, and knew that no matter what he did, there was no going back. Nothing was going to fix this, it had been ruined beyond repair, and it was killing him. He couldn’t stand to see that pitiful look reflected on your face, the one that confirmed everything he was thinking, the one that caused him to stop breathing in a moment of lasting heartbreak, the one that filled him with horror. It was over, he was certain of it. He couldn’t be your friend, not after what he had just told you, not when he knew that you would go back and tell Enzo, not when he knew you hated him, and that he was sure of.

It wasn’t the truth though, you didn’t hate him, you weren’t even sure that that was something that you were capable of even doing when it came to Theo, but you couldn’t lie, you hated what he had done. You hated it because it meant that no matter what he or you wanted, things were no longer going to be the same. You couldn’t give him what he needed, craved, and you hated that. Theo deserved the world, but a world that you couldn’t offer him. The tears were rolling freely from your eyes now, staining your blushed stained cheeks. All semblances of the cold were lost on you, you felt nothing but numb, and remorseful, even a little bit angry. He had ruined something that was so utterly good, and thought you were angry at him for that, you couldn’t really blame him. You felt as though your heart had sunk like a bag of stones into your gut, weighing heavy as you fought the urge to keep your gaze on him. It was over, and you didn’t know what to say. You wanted to lash out on him, shove him back and tell him to say it was all a cruel joke, because maybe then you could forgive him, forget it, but you knew that no matter how much you wanted that, it wouldn’t be the truth. He had said his piece, and what was done was done.

“That's-that's not fair.” you cried, holding onto your composure with a literal thread. You pulled your hands from him, using your index finger to shove it into his hard chest. “That is not fucking fair! That's bullshit, Theo!” you couldn’t hold back the tears, the aggression, the ache in your chest, and you wanted him to know. He groaned, exhaling that single breath that he was clinging too, as you repeatedly jabbed your finger into his chest.

“You don’t! You don’t get to ask that of me! You dont get to say that, not now, not fucking now! You- you don't-..” you argued through clenched teeth, but your voice trailed off. It was as if you were at a loss for the right words. Nothing that you were going to say would really express how you felt, how torn you were, nor were they going to repair any of it. He took a step towards you, ready to reach for you, and you shuffled back, nearly tripping over your own blasted feet. “No. no you’re mean, and you're selfish…” you blurted. tears rolling down your face, your breathing coming out in jagged spurts.

Merlin, he would do anything to go back and hold onto what he had said, to pretend like he wasn’t being destroyed by his feelings for you. Back to pretending that whenever he heard the latest of your relationship with his best friend, it didn't wound him more than any physical ailment he could ever experience. Anything to see you smile, and drone on about this and that, rather than to have your cold, accusatory finger being shoved into his heart. Quite literally anything and he would do it, no matter the costs. That's when it hit him. Shoving his hand into the depths of his coat pocket, his fingers carefully wrapped around his wand, looking at you with such a shattering look of sorrow. He was sorry, so unbelievably sorry. Sorry he hurt you, sorry that it confused you, sorry that he ruined his relationship with you, and even more so, sorry that he had told you.

“I’m so sorry..” was all he could offer in respite.

You huffed, brushing him off as you staggered back, as he repeated soft ‘i’m sorry’s. You sighed, fighting ever urge to tell him to fuck off.

“Fuck you, Theo..” you sighed, turning your back to him for a brief moment, wiping the tears from your eyes with your sleeve, trying desperately to get them to stop.

“Obliviate,” he muttered, and you didn't even have the time to react, to turn around and deflect, before a soft haze set over you. He watched as the silver glow at the end of his wand faded, before slowly lowering it to his side. He wasn’t sure that he could do this again, to be your friend after what he had done. Being so close to you, but not being able to have you, or to tell you what you meant to him, because after all was said and done, you weren’t his, you never were, and he knew now, that you never would be.

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classypauli · 2 months

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She’s the Man

Pairing: Jenna Ortega x fem Reader A/N: I appreciate each one of you, thank you so much for support <3!! Warning: mentions of harassment, anxiety, SA, alcohol, spelling errors, grammar mistakes Word count: 3.7k

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Chapter 3

The dorm room was silent. No was was speaking. They were just sitting on the small couch, being in each embrace. Letting themselves know that they were there for each other. Especially for her. Jenna was sitting in the middle of the couch, knees pressed into her chest, arms around her legs. Staring into nothing. Gideon was beside her waiting for her to speak. Both Emma and Gideon knew that in times like this, they needed to be silent and let Jenna talk. She hardly talked about something she struggles with so they wanted to hear everything that comes out of her mouth.

„I like him.“ Jenna said looking into the space in front of her. Gideon sighed and pushed herself closer to her roommate, pulling her into her arms.

„I know... I can see the way you are around him.“

Jenna put her lips into a thin line and looked at her friend, tears in her eyes. „I don´t know what to do.“ Her soft voice was barely heard in the room. Emma was sitting in front of her on the ground, staring up at her friend.

„Maybe you should tell him the truth.“

Jenna couldn´t believe what situation she was in right now. She wasn´t the type of person who easily like like someone. She wasn´t paying special attention to people who only looked good. She hardly had any crushes, even when she was younger.

But you... you were so good, mature, respectful, amazing listener, always making Jenna special when she was with you, giving her your full attention, and caring about what she had to say. Saying your true opinions, always motivating her with your gentle words. And on top of that, there was your look. Jenna doesn´t care about someone´s appearance, never, but you even looked amazing. She almost couldn´t believe that someone like you exist.

So when she started noticing her liking towards you, she was sure that this would be serious. That this wouldn´t just be some silly crush.

Gideon nods gently. „Yes, that would be for best.“

„And he will understand, I mean, I don´t know him personally but I can feel that he will be okay with it.“ Even her friends could feel something different in you. There was something about you that was strange, but not bad strange. Just something they haven´t seen in their lives yet.

„B-But how can I do that when he recently tried to hook me up with his roommate?“ she turned her head to them, eyes almost desperate. She didn´t even want to say his name out loud, that´s how much aversion she had against him.

„You mean the one who keeps harassing you for almost two years? Of course, I can already see the scenario.“ Gideon continued, trying to give some courage to Jenna „He wanted to be closer to you so he asked Charlie for help cause he saw that you two get along.“ Emma noded at her words, also agreeing with her.

Yeah, even to Jenna, this sounded pretty accurate, you barely turned someone down. You were too sweet for that. Still, this doesn´t have to be true.

But for now, she is going to act like it is.

„So what should I do?“ she now looked at Emma. Her friend only smiled with a confident smile. She and Gideon shared eye contact and looked back at their desperate friend.

„We´ll tell you, what you are going to do.“

„This is so good!“ Georgie cried as he held chicken wing in the air. His mouth and fingers were dirty from BBQ sauce. Some of it was even on the collar of a his uniform but he didn´t mind, all he cared about was that he could eat.

Y/N looked up from her meal, cracking a small smile. It was cute how he could enjoy so much such a simple thing. He was pure and so obvious.

Mason aggressively nodded his head at him, eyes wide. At least he could eat properly and wasn´t as dirty as Georgie in front of him. „You are right! It´s been a long time since they had something so good in here!“ he yelled with his mouth full of food.

They were having lunch right now. Finally, because if the classes were any longer, Y/N didn´t know if she would survive. The whole day she was with her friends, they were whining about how much they are hungry. Y/N was a patient person, but this... this was another level.

A couple of workers and students were glaring their way, at their loud behavior. Y/N and Hunter shot them back apologizing smiles.

„Can´t you two just enjoy it a little louder? Everybody is looking at us!“ Hunter hissed at them. Mason and Georgie looked around and then started eating again, clearly nonchalant.

Y/N looked around one more time and was met with doe brown-eyes looking at her. Jenna was staring at her with a small smile decorating her face. The taller girl looked at her and gave a small smile back with her hand waving at her.

Mason looked at her, then the way she was facing and his friend again, smiling softly in a teasing way before continuing his eating.

Jenna was sitting with a couple of her friends, a finished meal in front of her. She was probably waiting for them to finish. Breaking eye contact and pulling out her phone. Suddenly Y/N´s phone made a sound signalizing new message.

Jenna xx: Hey, are you free today?

Y/N looked up from her phone again at the other girl. She was waiting for her answer with hopeful eyes, biting her lower lip.

You: Hi, yeah, something in mind?

Jenna xx: Been thinking about another movie, free dorm tn, you down? ;)

Y/N smiled softly at her phone, agreeing with the plans. She was excited. She and Jenna haven´t talked much since the party but there wasn´t any bad blood between them. They just didn´t have much time.

After the classes, Y/N felt exhausted. Today was too long for her and she just wanted to lay down and relax, but she wasn´t tired enough to cancel her plans with Jenna.

When she got into the dorm room Percy was there, he was sitting behind his desk doing some schoolwork. Both of them haven´t talked yet about what happened. The morning after the party, Percy couldn´t remember much, only a couple of things. But he definitely felt the energy you gave him. He didn´t know what happened but he was also a little scared to ask. He isn´t used to you acting like this.

Y/N also didn´t know what to do with this situation, either acting like nothing happened or confronting him about it. She surely didn´t want to act like nothing happened, she thought it would be unfair to Jenna. People should talk about things like this, even if “nothing happened“.

But still thinking about what would happen if she didn´t get there. That night she came with Mason and some other boys, she saw Gideon and went to say hi, the girl told her that her roommate was there and that she had just gone to get a drink in the kitchen. So Y/N went after her.

But the scene she found her in... She was angry at Percy, but she felt even more disappointed. It wouldn´t even cross her mind that he could behave like this. It was disgusting. Acting like someone on top. He took advantage of time when nobody was there and she couldn´t say no to him. Y/N felt sick to her stomach.

„Hi.“ He looked up from his work „Going somewhere?“ he asked her as she was packing some things in her bag.

„Yeah.“

There goes the short answer again. He feels like it’s the only thing he gets from his roommate these days.

„Cool.“ He wanted to ask with who but that´s not his business.

Jenna was running around her dorm, making sure everything was ready. Blankets, pillows, snacks, movie, hoping she didn´t forget something. The room was dark with only the light of the turn-on TV and candles by the windows. She wanted to make it cozy as much as possible.

„Just a second!“ Jenna yelled at the door. She heard the knock, signaling that you were already there, right on time. She ran to look at herself one last time in the mirror, fixing her bangs and one last check at the room.

She opened the door and was greeted by your cute face. You were standing there wearing grey baggy sweatpants with a matching hoodie and bag around one of your shoulders looking cuddly as ever. You made a thin line with your lips still looking at her.

„Hi.“ You said shortly, waiting for her to let you in. She opened the door wider for you to come and greeted you with her hug. There was your scent again. It was so addicting.

Soon you started watching the movie she picked. It was Friday the 13th and you both enjoyed it. You saw that already but it was classic, so you didn´t mind watching it again. The scenes are good, it is a solid film. During the movie, Jenna was thinking about what Emma and Gideon said and about their plan.

Yeah, that plan already started and you don´t even know it.

After that, you were chatting. Y/N wanted to ask about Percy and what was going on between them, but she didn´t want to remind Jenna of that uncomfortable night. On the other hand, the girl felt like she should talk about it, she knew that Jenna didn´t like a feeling of vulnerability, but there was nothing wrong with it. At the end of the day, there are still people who are by her side ready to help her and listen to her. People like Y/N.

„I wanted to ask you...“ she looked into her eyes with a little seriousness, the shorter girl turned to her waiting for her question „Are you okay?“

And the girl didn´t even have to be specific about what was she talking about, Jenna knew.

„Yeah, I think I´m.“ she pulled out a small smile with her soft eyes. She was okay when she was with you, she felt safe. Every time she felt nervous walking around him or thinking about what happened, her mind went to you and how you acted. How you stood in front of her ready to defend her from anything bad. And then she feels safe.

She feels safe when you stand by her side, she feels safe when she is walking beside you, she feels safe when you hug her.

Doesn´t matter what you two are doing, when she is with you, she feels protected.

„It started almost two years ago... I saw him a couple of times before but we didn´t share many classes or never really spoke to one another.“ She was now looking into her lap, playing with her fingers. It was her habit when she was nervous or was thinking about her words and what she wanted to say.

„I knew he was into me, he used to stare at me sometimes whole class. It started to be a bit strange, but I let it be. Was trying to ignore it.“ Y/N was still looking at the girl beside her, giving her full attention.

„I got a couple of times drawings of my face... at first I found them at the spot where I used to sit during our together classes, then found some in my locker or mailbox at my home where I was during holidays. That was the weirdest. Like how did he find where I live?“ she sarcastically laughed, leaning her head on her hand, which was now on her knee.

„I didn´t want to make something big out of it, so I let it be. When I came to school again, he kept going, sometimes even following me into the dorms. I told Gideon and Emma about it and from then, they tried to be with me when they could.“

Y/N couldn´t imagine the stress this girl must have felt. It was absurd. And disrespectful. She slowly grabbed the other girl's small hand, shooting her comforting smile.

„One night, there was a party... there were almost all the students from the school. I was in a room full of people, slowly drinking from my cup... I wasn´t drunk just a bit tipsy.“ The shorter girl now held Y/N´s hand in both hands. „he saw me came to me and started to touch me... he tried to pull me up with him into the room upstairs but I wasn’t letting him... he didn´t like that of course and pushed me against the wall still with his hands on my body.“

Jenna had now tears in her eyes but didn´t let them fall. She breathed heavily still looking at their hands. „Can you believe that even the room full of people didn´t manage to stop him?“ she sniffed softly „Then he got pulled by someone, he smashed him into the face and threw him out of the house... it was your friend actually, the football player.“

Mason. He never disappoints.

You were now sitting there, feeling disgusted. You felt horrible that you even tried to help him with her. You have so much rage inside but right now Jenna was your priority. You pulled the girl into your arms, holding her. You were in awe that she´s been holding that inside of her for so long. She was so brave.

Both of you were sitting there, holding each other, her almost on top of you with her face in the crook of your neck. When she calmed down she pushed her face out and looked at her. Your faces were now close.

Y/N kept looking at Jenna´s face, her cute bangs, doe eyes, and small nose on which were her cute freckles. They looked like constellations and the taller girl knew that she would never be bored of them. On top of that her full lips.

Jenna saw Y/N looking at her lips, which made her smile. The tension grew and she was now waiting for her move. The brown-eyed girl looked at your lips and saw you smiling.

„What are you smiling about?“ Jenna asked still in your embrace.

„You smiled first! You gave it to me.“ Y/N said and now she grew nervous. Jenna´s hands were around her neck and the girl´s chest felt full, feeling like there was no air for her. Y/N liked this, feeling Jenna in her arms, close to her, smelling her perfume.

„Sorry, I need to use a bathroom.“ And just like that you gently pushed Jenna away from you standing up and making your way to the toilet room.

Jenna was sitting there with wide eyes, shocked. She was almost sure you were going to kiss her. But you stood up and went to the bathroom. Were you nervous or just didn´t feel the same way she does? She wanted to know the answer to these questions but only you could answer them.

You were hard to read. Maybe that was what caught her attention the most. She didn´t know what to expect from you. Like now. The girls told her that you liked her back because of the way you was acting around her and that you were probably just nervous, that´s why you didn´t make a move yet.

They were in some way right, you were nervous. You liked her, you know that, but it felt unfair to Jenna. She knows you, but she doesn’ t know you. She doesn’t know you as Y/N. As your trueself. And that´s why instead of kissing her you rushed away.

Y/N washed her face with water. She looked at herself in a mirror and saw her blushing face. Oh God, this was embarrassing. She felt hot and her heart was beating fast. She picked herself up and made her way to the room again. Jenna was now sitting cross-legged, controller in her hands looking for some new movie to watch. Y/N undressed her hoodie and threw herself onto the couch beside the other girl.

„So what are we watching next?“

Jenna woke up the next day on her couch, her eyes still closed as she was thinking about yesterday. She opened her eyes. Sun was shining through the windows of the room, birds could be heard even though the windows were closed. She looked up and found Gideon standing above her smirking, she motioned “I´m leaving“ with her mouth and then she put her fingers on her lips and did a zip-up motion silently walking away, still with her little smirk.

Jenna could hear soft breathing behind her, then she realized that you were spooning her. She gently turned around wanting to see your face. You looked so relaxed, with your arms around her waist. She was wearing your hoodie from yesterday. Last night you fell asleep first, looked exhausted from the day. After turning the TV off she picked up your hoodie and put it on herself, slowly laying down beside you, as close as she could.

When you woke up Jenna was in the bathroom. You slowly sat up and rubbed your eyes. You slept well actually, even if it was on the couch.

With that you stood up and started cleaning the room, making it look a little presentable. Not long after Jenna walked up to you, greeting you with a hug and questioning how was your sleep. You noticed she was wearing your hoodie and it looked so cute on her. She was so small, it was almost reaching her knees and the sleeves were too big for her, but she looked happy. Soon you left her dorm, leaving Jenna behind with your hoodie still on her.

„We could plan something.“

Mason says as they were running around the field. They are having practice. The coach was talking something about getting easely tired, so he made them run circles around the field. Y/N wasn´t really a fan of training like this, but she understands and respects his point.

„What do you mean?“ she asked him.

They were now around the 13th round, or at least she thinks, she didn´t want to count it. They were almost breathless, their legs felt like they were on fire, and it slowly became hard to move and control them. Her throat was burning and her lungs had each inhale smaller capacity.

It would be okay if the coach let them just run, but he was whistling at them to change their tempo, sprint or slow down. All you could hear were breathless players running around the field. Mason wanted to continue with the conversation but he was almost out of breath.

Another whistle was heard but this time coach was yelling at them to stop. With that Y/N fell on her knees, forehead pressed into the ground, breathing heavily trying to catch her breath. Mason was beside her on his back, arms and legs apart looking like a starfish. Everyone was on the ground, trying to survive after this challenge.

„I think I´m going to throw up.“ Mason´s voice was heard from beside her, now holding his stomach, whinning.

Y/N stood up, hands on her knees, slowly straithing up. She looked at Mason and slowly pulled him up.

„Come on, it will be only worse this way.“

They were slowly walking back to the coach. The girl looked at the tribune and saw Jenna. She was sitting there and she was enjoying the suffering your coach pulled you through. She had palms under her chin and when she saw you she waved. You waved back smiling.

„It´s cute how your girlfriend comes here every practice.“ Mason said looking at his friend´s reaction.

Y/N pushed her eyebrows together. „Jenna is not my girlfriend.“

„But you want to, so what´s stopping you? She clearly likes you too.“

You just shrugged your shoulders and looked at the ground, hands on your hips. Mason was still studying you, something was bothering you, that’s for sure, but he didn´t know what. He is guessing that maybe you are shy and don´t know how to start, so now he has a mission to get you and Jenna a date.

The thing he didn´t know is that your current situation would be this complicated.

„So as I was saying, how about we would make a night out, we would call Hunter and Georgie and you could call Jenna and she could call her friends. It would be fun.“

Y/N was thinking about it, it wasn´t the worst idea. They could hang out all together and that way they could get closer and know each other better.

„Yeah, that sounds good.“ She last time looked at Jenna before continuing with their practice.

Gideon couldn´t believe it. She was shocked at what Jenna told them about yesterday. She thought something happened between you two because of the way you were sleeping together. It was so cute, she had never seen Jenna in this situation, it was new to her and she was enjoying every bit of it.

But then she told her that you were face to face, looking at one another and you left her there to go to a bathroom. She almost collapsed.

„What?!“ Gideon stood up from her spot looking at her roommate with a shocked and unbelievable face. She can´t process that their perfect plan didn´t work out. Emma´s jaw was hanging, also didn´t expect this.

„Maybe he is gay.“ Jenna grabbed the pillow and threw it at Gideon. The plan was to make sweet and romantic vibe, where you would watch movie and then you would talk about your feelings and finally kiss. Simple and easy. And that happened but you still manage to slip out. Little snake.

You both were acting like kids with your first crush. Running around not making any move, she just wanted to pull her hair out of her head. You both are so frustrating.

At this point she doesn´t care. If you aren´t taking this into your hands, she´s going to take it into hers.

Because if this goes at this speed any longer, she will grow grey hair.

next chapter

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hopplessilse · 3 months

Text

Fetish II. Eyes don´t lie

Teacher!joel x f!student 18+ explicit minors dni

Serie masterlist

Summary: Mr. Miller gives you more attention than ever, you are his priority, you want to become his favorite student, so a visit to his office doesn't hurt anyone, you just want him to help you solve the topic of your thesis.

Word count: 9.5 k

Warnings: Teacher-student, age gab (reader in her early 20's, joel in his late 40's) pet names, sexual fantasies, flirtation, slow burn (not so slow), Feeling of guilt, Mention and consumption of alcohol, hangover, Mention on teacher/student relationship, Swallowing medicine pills, Mention of vomiting (nothing explicit), Professor Miller's Aftercare, they are both two consenting adults, fear of being found out.

Friday.

"Good day, students. Today we're going to talk about two branches of anthropology that are very important for understanding human nature: physiological anthropology and pragmatic anthropology," Joel said, walking in front of the class and writing the title on the board.

It was a fact that that crush was now an obsession, you didn't know how to get Joel out of your head, you couldn't help but romanticize every single thing he did or said, you beat yourself up mentally for sexualizing him, but it was kind of impossible to stop when the clothes he wore fit him ridiculously well, it was impossible for him to look attractive with everything. The vest he wore over his white shirt was ridiculously hot, you never imagined him with a vest and now, you can't get the image out of your head.

"First of all, physiological anthropology" He paused, looking at everyone in the room

"Physiological anthropology is the branch of anthropology that studies the biological dimension of the human being. It deals with the physical and psychological characteristics that are common to all human beings, regardless of their culture or era"

You could feel your body present, but your head was somewhere else, thinking about so many things that have nothing to do with matter

"Some of the topics that physiological anthropology studies are:

|Human Anatomy

|Human Physiology

|Human Psychology

|Human Evolution"

His gaze passed over your seat, several times, but you didn't realize it because you were so gone that you didn't know what he was talking about, you only saw his lips move, the pen around his fingers as he wrote on the blackboard what you assumed were subtopics, the truth is that you don't even know.

From Joel's perspective he assumed you were paying attention, as you saw him with furrowed brows and followed his steps, but the moment he stared at you, saw how your eyes were gone, he could perceive that you were not quite present in the class.

"Physiological anthropology helps us understand how the human body works, how we think and feel, and how we have evolved as a species" He finally says, adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose, arms crossed as he walks back in front of the class, looking at everyone as he continues to explain.

"Now Pragmatic Anthropology is the branch of anthropology that studies the cultural dimension of the human being. It deals with human characteristics that are a product of culture, such as values, beliefs, customs, and social norms.

Some of the topics that pragmatic anthropology studies are:

|Culture

|The Society

|Education

|Religion

|The Art

Pragmatic anthropology helps us understand how human society is constructed, how values and beliefs are transmitted, and how emotions and feelings are expressed" He paused, took a breath, and asked, looking at the whole class

"Could any of you tell me what's the difference between the two?" he look at the blackboard and look at them again, some whispered some answers but with the fear of making a mistake they said nothing.

"Miss" he said your last name 1 time, you didn't listen, you just saw that his eyes were glued to you, he named you for the second time and your friend nudged you. At that moment you felt your body for the first time since he entered the room, a shiver ran down your spine, while you saw your friend.

She just made a gesture to you with her eyes open, you know she scolded you mentally. You looked back at Joel and he was arms crossed 'shit in that pose yes he looks bigger and stronger, concentrate' looking at you over his glasses, his lips were sealed and his expression was serious as he watched you, you could feel all the eyes on you waiting for your answer.

"Sorry?" You apologized by looking down and looking at him again "I didn't hear the question" You interlaced your fingers in your lap nervously as you mentally begged him not to humiliate you.

"i ask who knows the difference between the two topics we just talked about" He looked at you as he got closer so he could get a better look at you since you were in the third row, a little out of reach.

"I… I don't know," you said nervously, shaking your head softly

You saw him duck his head as a sarcastic laugh came from his lips, shaking his head, walking up the stairs, walking down the hallway that left him in front of you and looking into your eyes, you could see disappointment in them.

"Of course you don't know, you didn't pay attention to a single word that was said" he said seriously, his words hurt you, and more because everyone listened while looking at you

"if you are in my class it is to learn, I don't stand here every day so that the words go in one ear and out the other" this time he said to everyone, his voice sounding deeper as he walked away from you and down the stairs returning to the center

A silence covered the room for a few seconds when a squeaky female voice made itself present, you shrugged your shoulders as you felt your ears bleed at the sound of that voice.

"Go ahead, Miss Vince," this time Joel's voice sounded calmer and softer

"The main difference between physiological anthropology and pragmatic anthropology is that the first deals with human characteristics that are common to all human beings, while the second deals with human characteristics that are a product of culture"

"That's right, as clear as water" He looked at you and you just looked down at your lap where your cold hands were hiding.

"Physiological anthropology is more objective, as it is based on observation and experimentation. Pragmatic anthropology, on the other hand, is more subjective, as it is based on the interpretation of cultural phenomena" He said, going back to the blackboard and writing the key words on it.

You felt so small, you felt a lump in your throat, you felt an anger inside you, you tried to control your heavy breathing. You looked at your hands and you could see and feel the waterline in your eyes fill with tears, you didn't want to cry, not in front of them, not in front of him, you didn't want him to see the power he had over you. You took a deep breath, wiping your eyes quickly, as you looked straight ahead and made a note in your notebook.

"In conclusion, physiological anthropology and pragmatic anthropology are two fundamental branches of anthropology since they help us to understand human nature in all its complexity, both in its biological dimension and in its cultural dimension"

The rest of the class went on normally, you just didn't look at him, you just listened and looked at the blackboard to make notes of what he wrote. You were quiet for the rest of the class, even when roll call you just raised your hand, at the end he just let them read a file that he would send them.

You left the room without even looking at him and hurried out. It was 6:30 a.m., with Mr. Miller's class being the last. Even though you had an appointment with the student counselor, that's why you had to run since she was leaving early.

"Where are you going?" shouted your friend seeing you hurrying down the hallway

"I have to catch up with ava, I need to talk to her" you yelled back saying goodbye with your hand in the air and disappearing around the corner.

Being true you wanted to get out of that room as soon as possible, you couldn't stand the presence of everyone around you, let alone his presence, you really felt hurt, you knew he was right, you weren't paying attention, but it wasn't necessary for him to talk to you in that hurtful tone, it was the first time you saw him angry, And you're the reason.

Your high heels echoed off the shiny floor of the school as you walked down the stairs, walked a few doors along the hallway into one that said 'teachers' office'. Past the doors you could see a long corridor that led you into the offices, several Victorian-style windows and within the space were scattered the offices of each director of the school.

You walked to the right where the office of ava, the student counselor, a beautiful lady who had been working at the university for 10 years. You knocked a couple of times on the wooden door and from inside you heard 'come in'.

You walked in closing the door behind you and when you met her gaze you gave her a smile.

"Hello" she said your name "Good afternoon, how are you?" she said in an enthusiastic voice, whenever you saw her she looked happy, you didn't know how she could be in a good mood being locked in those 4 walls.

"hi, Well thank you, how are you?"

"Oh, I'm fine honey, tell me what brings you here," she said, adjusting her glasses and leaving some sheets beside her.

You sat in the chair in front of her desk and left your backpack on the floor

"Well… I wanted to talk to you about my thesis topic"

"Okay… How can I help you?"she crossed her hands in front of her at the desk.

"I thought maybe you could… Or well, I know you studied psychology, right?"

"That's right," she nodded, taking a sip of her coffee

"Well, my thesis talks about transpersonal anthropology, and I know there's a topic in psychology about that, and I wanted to know if you could give me some important points about that, or your knowledge in it," you said kindly giving her a smile

"Of course honey, it's just a long topic and I have to run home, so how about Monday you come and we talk about it."

"Sounds great"

"How about 2 p.m.?"

"Yes, I'm free at that time"

"Perfect" A knock interrupted your talk, Ava gave way and a head peeked out of the door

"I'm sorry to interrupt Ava, but Professor Miller came looking for you a while ago and asked me if you could stop by his office for a moment before you left"

"Of course, thank you for letting me know" they closed the door and you and Ava got up from their chairs "What subject does Professor Miller give you?" she said as she took her things and put them in her bag

"Mmh philosophical anthropology" you bent down taking your backpack and passing it over your shoulder

"It would be very good for you to talk to him about your thesis, He knows more than I do because he reads a lot about the different branches of anthropology."

"Amm I hadn't thought of it" you said showing a forced smile as you followed her to the door, she opened and gave you space to go after her, she locked the door and looked at you

"Come with me, we'll tell Professor Miller if he knows about it" she said as she walked past you, you stood with the word in your mouth

"Amm… No.. I don't think he have time" You couldn't help but get nervous as you walked down the hallway to his office, this being one of the last at the end of the hallway

"Of course he has time, he's gone until 8," she said as she greeted the teachers who passed by you. "I love his office, it has a beautiful view of the forest behind campus" she look at you over her shoulder before knocking twice on the wooden door that said in black letters on the glass 'Mr. Miller'

"Come in," a deep voice rang out, sounded from inside through the door.

Ava came in first greeting Joel kindly. You stayed outside, you took a deep breath before peeking out of the doorway, making Joel aware of your presence, making the smile on her face slowly disappear as you entered and closed the door behind you, staying leaning into it looking at both of them.

Your breathing quickened a little more as your eyes met, you didn't want to be there, you didn't want to see him and you guess he didn't want to see you either. You looked at Ava and smiled nervously at her, clasping your hands behind you.

"We hope we don't interrupt Professor Miller" said Ava standing in front of his desk

"Not at all Ava, Amm" he look at you and look back at her "I wanted to tell you about the student outing that will be done at the end of the month" he said playing with the pen he had in his hands

"Of course of course, we must change some details about that...amm I have the itinerary in digital, If you want, I can send it to you and talk about it on Monday."

"Of course that would be wonderful" he nodded quickly and took a deep breath seeing the two of you with a tight smile on his lips

"Oh it's true haha" she walked over to you and took you by the shoulder approaching you to the desk, making you being closer right in front of him, she said your name "wanted to ask you if you have any knowledge about transpersonal psychology, It's for her thesis on transpersonal anthropology"

God, she looks like your mom speaking for you.

"I have knowledge on both subjects," he said, looking at her and not you.

"Perfect, I told you he knew," she said smiling at you and you just smiled back "Can she stay so you can explain a little about the subject?"

Your eyes widened looking at her "I don't think Professor Miller has time for that" you said laughing nervously, shaking your head.

"Well… I'll stay a few more hours, so I have time," he said looking at you, this time his voice sounded deeper

You stared at him for a moment swallowing, felt your ears rumble.

"You see, Professor Miller is always there to attend to his students, see you on Monday Mr. Miller" Ava said goodbye as she made her way to the door, Joel said goodbye, and you only felt the air from the door blow behind you, feeling Joel's presence heavier than ever.

"Take a seat" he said, pointing with his hand to the chair in front of him

You sat down leaving your things aside, you breathed deeply. You watched the room as he got up and picked up some papers on the shelf in the corner.

His office really was big for a simple professor. There were two large windows behind his desk, the ceiling was twice as high as the rest of the school, there was a brown leather armchair at the other end of the room, a coffee table in front of it and a warm light lamp on one side of the armchair. Several bookshelves adorned the walls, some paintings and recognitions.

His desk was kept simple, a laptop, papers on one end and a few books on the other end, his glasses were kept on one side of his case while a coffee cup was kept empty on the other side of the laptop. His office was kept lit by a few warm lamps that he had around the office. The little light of the cloudy afternoon came in through the windows, which were kept open letting the cold breeze into the cozy cube.

Your teeth gnashed from the cold coming in, as the afternoon was cold at this time of year. You were dressed in jeans, your top being a white long-sleeved shirt but a little open at the chest, revealing your collarbones and your locket hanging from your neck.

Joel walked back to the desk, leaving some papers on the side of the laptop.

"Okay" sat down in front of you as he leaned back in the chair and let out a heavy exhale from his lips "Tell me you'd like to know" his lips moved as he rested his right arm on the armrest of his desk chair and rested his thumb under his jaw, index and middle finger on the hundred and the others rolled into his palm.

You couldn't breathe properly, it was hard to inhale and exhale slowly. It makes you feel strange to be in his office alone, like those old days, you were only in the same situation once, but it was for no seconds, now it was different, because it was you and only you who was with him, without people to take his attention away from you.

"Well…" You breathed as you watched as he swallowed and his Adam's apple went down and up, while his gaze stayed on you, serious. "I have an initial basis for my thesis, the introduction, which is transpersonal anthropology and psychological anthropology, but… I wanted to talk about both fields but it's a bit impossible since it's too much of both subjects"

"It's not impossible if you're talking about topics that are intertwined between the transpersonal and the psychological, you would have to investigate if any research of this type has already been done, so you can have some sustenance or support"

You were about to speak when he interrupted you

"And why don't you focus on a specific topic about transpersonal anthropology?

"Because I'm still interested in psychology, and I think it's something that can go hand in hand with the transpersonal in the social area" you said, clapping your palms in your lap, while smiling at him with sealed lips.

He smiled at you, nodding.

"Can I see your research preview? If it doesn't bother you"

"Sure," you took out your cell phone and opened the file. You held it out to him, he reached out and took it in his hands, making your phone look small in his hand.

He looked at the screen as his hand reached out to grab the glasses that were next to him and put them on, you looked at him and you could see the reflection of your cell phone in his glasses as he rested his elbows on the wood of the desk.

You watched as he wagged his finger up on the screen, you could see through his glasses as his eyes moved following the letters on the screen. You could hear his breathing, which honestly bothered you a little bit when people breathed too hard, ugh you couldn't stand that but… Being him was fine. You moved your foot impatiently and nervously, something Mr. Miller could notice.

"Do you want coffee?" he said as he looked at you through his glasses, and the fine lines on his forehead were present.

"n.. no, I'm fine," you let out a small nervous laugh. He only nodded, smiling slightly and looking back at the screen.

"Don't be nervous then" echoed in your ears along with his hoarse tone of voice, that tone you longed to hear close to your ear, that delirious.

"I'm not nervous, just impatient" you said looking at your heels while keeping your hands crossed in front of your chest.

You saw how he put his arm down and put your phone on the desk and slid it towards you. You watched your cell phone rest on the wood with the screen on, you saw the small black letters that were written on that screen, and you could see that he had read to the end of the document.

"I think it's okay," you looked up and saw that he had crossed his arms while he saw you still with his glasses on.

"Just okay?" you looked at him incredulously and frowned.

"What do you want me to say? It's only 3 leaves," he said seriously, without taking his eyes off you.

"Won't you tell me that I need to expand the introduction further? check my spelling mistakes, that I need to paraphrase the texts well"

He bit his lip and denied

"No, I think you have everything under control" You stared at him in silence "did you expect me to tell you something else?" he said raising an eyebrow

"A little yeah... you used to correct me only by the index of work" you said quietly, looking at your heels.

You heard how a little laugh sounded from his chest, you looked up and he smiled at you, you saw in his eyes such a beautiful sparkle.

"You're so cute" Your chest would explode if he told you that

"Well, if you put index inside it… It's very obvious that it's wrong, sweetheart"

Shit, did he… Did he actually call me sweetheart?

"Sorry..." you said in a whisper

"You don't have to say sorry, it's okay," he said, looking down at his arms.

"I'm sorry to expect a lot from you always"

He looked up in eye contact, and you saw his face turn into surprise and confusion at your confession.

"What do you mean?" This time he lower his arms so he can get closer to the desk and be close to you, with the wood being the only thing separating you both.

You sighed as you saw his confused expression. You should be honest with him, let him know how you feel about him as your teacher.

"Honestly…"You paused to breathe "You are my favorite teacher, from the first day you taught us I saw the passion you had, how much you like to help your students… and I.. I just want to be as good as you."

You looked at him in silence as he processed what you said

"You are very smart and you know about everything, I wish I was good at everything and that it was easy, that I could know the subject easily" you sighed heavily "I know you expect a lot from me, and I'm sorry I didn't pay attention in class today, I know you put effort into your work and I know you want us to learn as much as possible, I really shouldn't have lost focus"

He didn't need to know all that, but you were frustrated by his class, and you felt like he wasn't evaluating you properly because of your attitude. He was silent for a few more seconds, maybe you had sounded pathetic when you said all that… Was it too much to say?

"Sorry, I didn't mean to sound pathetic"

"Don't apologize please" You looked at him and he was already looking at you. "It's nice that you tell me that I'm your role model, I know you're an amazing student, i can see that you're determined to get what you want, you're responsible, you have ethics, that says a lot about the person you are" he smiled at you "and the class… Don't worry, I know I'm not always going to get 100% attention, and I shouldn't have talked to you like that in front of everyone, I apologize for that." You could see the regret in his eyes

"Thank you" you nodded and gave him a half-smile, he smiled back nodding

"and just to be clear… You're also my favorite student" a mischievous smile appeared on his lips as his eyes narrowed.

You gawked at him as you watched as he stood up, grabbed his cup, and walked to the coffee maker behind him, with his back to you, a perfect view of his back.

"Really?" you couldn't help but sound happy and confused at the same time

"Yes," he said, still with his back turned

"Since when?" he was going to speak but you interrupted him "Is it because I said you're my favorite teacher?"

You heard him laugh and look at you over his shoulder. He fell silent looking at you and you just frowned, waiting for his answer eagerly.

He turned around and replied

"since the first time I saw you, last semester"

Your smile faded, your mouth dried up, you felt your hands turn cold.

Was it true? Or was he screwing you? For a moment you thought about that day… And was it impossible for you to remember everything, what he had seen in you that day? As far as you can remember, you were quiet the whole class, you only participated by telling him your name and some of your hobbies, but other than that… You don't remember saying anything interesting about the class. You wouldn't let curiosity kill you, so you bravely decided to ask him

"what did you see in me that day?" You leaned your elbow on the desk and your fist held your jaw as you stared at him.

He turned around with a blue mug in his hand walking to the desk, putting the cup in front of you. You looked at him confused.

"I didn't ask you for one"

while he went to the coffee maker taking his cup he replied

"take it, I don't accept a no"

You smiled, you looked at the coffee and saw that it was black.

"Amm I don't like black coffee"

He finished filling his cup. He walked silently to the side of the coffee maker and took a small piece of cardboard, walked with both hands full, left his cup in front of his chair and held out the cardboard, you took it and looked at the letters, 'vanilla flavored milk' it said on the front.

You smiled at him in appreciation. It was a bit odd that he had this in his office, as you always saw him drinking black coffee all over school, he didn't look like someone who drank lattes, and less vanilla flavored.

You filled your cup a little with the milk, closed it, and set it aside. While Joel was looking at the furniture full of books that sat at the other end of his desk, in front of these two pieces of furniture was a dark olive-green three-seater armchair, it was spacious.

You don't know how many times you'd admired how good he looked, it was ridiculous the space it has in your mind, the number of times you think how fine it looks.

You took the coffee, and left it on the desk when you saw Joel approaching you. Joel came back to you but this time with a book in hand, left it on the desk and sat down in his chair.

"This book could be useful for your research, and for you to learn a little more about anthropology"

You brought it closer to you' Transpersonal Anthropology. Society, Culture, Reality and Consciousness, DIEGO R. VIEGAS ́ you read on the cover of the book.

"You've given me a book before, remember?" you said, double-tapping the book.

"And?" he take from his coffee looking at you through his glasses

"Why do you give me another one?"

before answering you he taste the taste of coffee in his mouth, lick his lips and look at you.

"It's for my favorite student to learn and I don't go around scolding her in class"

You felt your cheeks burn, you looked down, but not before seeing how he smiled and crossed his arms.

Heck, he knows the effect that had on you.

You laughed, trying not to sound nervous. Was he making you nervous on purpose? Even though it was somewhat innocent the way he did it, but why call you his favorite student and give you 2 books from his bookshelf, you would never do that, your books are sacred to you, you would only recommend them and that's it, but give it to someone? You should appreciate that person so much to do such an act, even love him too much.

"You didn't answer my question," you said as you sipped from the cup, looking at him over the blue pottery

You saw how he smiled and shook his head. He scratched his beard, which was adorned by some gray hair on both sides of his jaw.

"I remember … You were at the front of the class, I thought you would be one of the ones who talked all the time, but you never participated, you just nodded to what your classmates were saying, and I thought 'what a weird girl, why being at the front when you don't participate' only heard your voice when you introduced yourself, and knowing what you liked to read… I liked you immediately, It made me tender to see you nod and take note, you are very calm, and you have a lot of knowledge, even if it is hard for you to believe it"

You didn't know that he had noticed you that way from the first day, he took the time to study you between classes, that he would be interested in you because of your taste in reading. It felt strange in any way that he would tell you that, it felt very… private, very personal. Some teachers would just say that because you were responsible and paying attention, they were satisfied with that, but not Joel, he saw something in you that you weren't sure was visible to you, it's like what you see in him.

You remembered the way he treated you, the warm, soft tone of voice in which he addressed you. The smile that appeared on his face when you approached his desk, how his eyes sought you when he asked them to participate, the attention he paid when you presented a topic in class. All the attention you felt you had at the beginning became less and less as the months went by, but whenever you sought him he was there for you. And now… You felt all the pressure on you.

"Well… I wasn't the only one who knew" you shook your head grimacing, you lowered your gaze and looked at your red nails "there were other colleagues who were more diligent"

"No one like you" you looked up shy to see a different reaction in their eyes. You swallowed and just denied it.

You had exactly one name on the tip of your tongue, a name that had been on your mind the previous semester, you were afraid to say it, to say it in front of it, but it's a perfect opportunity that you wouldn't pass up.

"Melissa" you finally said, you tried to sound as normal as possible.

You looked up and as you had imagined. His face changed, his eyes turned dark and his features hardened, he tried to disguise it with his tone when answering.

"What about her?" he leaned over the desk and intertwined his fingers on the desk.

"She was just like me… passionate about the same topics, but she did participate" you smiled nodding, pretending you liked her.

"Well," he paused and took a moment to think and blink as he looked at you, "I think… She was different from you… From what I saw in class, I don't think you should compare yourself to her"

You held his gaze when he finished speaking. You didn't know how he did it, but if you knew what really happened, you'd say he's good at lying.

"I'm not comparing myself, I'm just saying she could have been your favorite student too" You shrugged and took one last sip of the coffee in front of you.

"I don't usually go around thinking about who my next star student will be, but you'd be surprised to know that you're the first favorite student I have"

You laughed, shaking your head and covering your mouth with your palm as you laughed. On the move you caught him directing his eyes at your body, but it was in the blink of an eye.

"I must be special, I guess"

"You must be," he smiled at you, showing his teeth as he looked at you with a twinkle in his eye.

Sunday.

The smell of the night after it rained was something different, the breeze whipping through the curtains of your room, the sky full of gray clouds too big to cover the sky in its entirety. The street outside your house was silent, you could only hear the heavy air squealing out your window breaking through. You were lying on your bed, while it was being kept tidy you only had an old blanket on top of you, in fact it was from one of your favorite childhood movies, high school musical.

You had two pillows behind your head for extra support. Your eyes stayed focused on the show you were watching. For you, Sundays meant resting and not talking to anyone, there was something about Sundays that felt different from the other days of the week. Normally you didn't go out, you weren't a person who liked to go out all the time, your social battery drained very quickly if there were too many people.

As you ran your hand over the locket hanging from your neck, you remembered that first week of the previous semester, the way Joel noticed that you had changed your necklace.

"What happened to the previous one?" he said, his arms crossed as he leaned his hips against your desk.

"I put it away, don't you like this one?"

"It's very nice, you must keep something very precious inside"

"I don't put anything in it yet" you laughed slightly

"Well, when you do I want to know"

It was part of you, of your personality, it was attached to you by some invisible rope that you didn't know how to detect, the feeling, the power that made that necklace so special to you. It's like with Joel, you didn't know what force brought you closer to him, you didn't know what contained that human being who made your thoughts his, maybe you maintained a closeness that no teacher/student would have, but for you it was something innocent and vague, he was just doing his job helping you with your work.

The comment your friend had made to you ran through your mind over and over again 'no teacher would express himself like that about a student, let alone tell her that she is his favorite student, I doubt that any teacher in his life has had one'. You didn't want to think that he might have a little interest in you, because if you look at it from his point of view… What the hell could he see in you? You weren't mature or attractive enough to be with him, plus it's impossible to have any kind of relationship with him.

Things after Friday had been different, despite not seeing him for 1 day, you couldn't stop thinking about his gaze, how he smiled when he looked at you, the seriousness on his face when you named melisa. You really wanted it all to be a lie, you begged it wasn't the kind of teacher who sexually harasses his students until they get what they want. If you ever had a chance to be with him, you wanted to be the only one, you wanted to be special to him.

Even if you thought you were deluded because let's face it, he is an adult man, older by almost 26 years, he has a life made, he has stability, he is a mature person full of experiences, he is single, attractive, he can have any woman with him if he wants, so why settle for a 21-year-old girl who on top off that is his student who has damn mental and commitment problems, and in need of attention all the damn time.

Hell, you were so dam hard to yourself at times but you had to keep your feet on the ground. You were damn smart that you knew that if you got into the game it was going to be easy to get out of it, you shouldn't take it so seriously, you'd let everything flow in its wake.

You know he needs a woman, but you could give him what no one has done for him, you wanted to be his weakness so badly, you wanted him to beg you to be his… and you wanted to beg him to make you his again and again.

Your thoughts tormented you when you were alone, you couldn't help but think about different things at once, for you there was no such thing as the phrase "one crisis at a time" you worried about something that didn't happen yet or you didn't know if it was going to happen, and to top it all off, you thought if there was a solution when the only damn solution is to stop thinking about it.

Your brain was talking to you too much and that's why you overthought things. You were halfway through the series when your cell phone vibrated against the wooden surface of your desk next to your bed.

It was your friend who had sent a message. You grabbed your phone and lay back down. The screen of your phone lit up your face making your eyes narrow from the flash, you smiled as you read your friend's message.

You better be dressed up, I'll pick you up in 10 minutes, I don't take no for an answer

Does being in my pajamas work for you?

Don't fuck with me, let's go to a karaoke bar, I'll give you another 5 more minutes

You sighed when you read the last message.

You didn't know what to wear, you were thinking about a dress and a jacket but the day was very cool and you would probably freeze to death when you left your house. Your best bet was jeans that fit beautifully, black heeled boots that reached below the knee, and a black backless t-shirt and denim jacket.

As your friend promised, I'll arrive at the time she agreed for you. They arrived at the karaoke bar, which you had never been to, it was a good atmosphere, a central place with a lot of people. Inside was a place with blue, purple, yellow, and pink lights illuminating the place, and some warm lights so as not to overwhelm the view so much.

They were round tables, each one separate from the other, the stage was at the back of the place, it wasn't that deep, you could see the people from the entrance perfectly.There were 2 sections as one was karaoke and the other was a bar, but they were connected by the bar where you could turn around and see everyone on the other side.

Since the place was very popular, they had to enlarge the place, and some people who didn't enjoy being among the hustle and bustle so much went to the other end. There were people of all ages around. You walked inside the place and Katy Perry's roar song was playing all over the place.

Even if you didn't know how to sing well, people had fun, no one was judging, it was all laughter and shouting encouraging people to sing and dance.

They approached a table that was relatively in the center, and other girls they knew from college from another major were at the table. When you saw them you greeted each other happily, you took off your jacket and left it on the back of the chair, sat down and chatted for a moment before others got up to sing. You and your friend decided to go to the bar for drinks for all four of you.

"This place is sick" you said, looking around the place as you waited for drinks.

"I know, how come you've never come" she tapped her fingers on the dark wood

"You know I don't usually come this way"

"I'll have to get you out, you can find someone to have fun with"

"So you get them from here?" You said laughing mockingly

"Yes, but I get them from the other section"

They both turned to the front and saw a few men between 35 and forty-something, up to 50. You could see them coming in and out of the bar, many of them were looking at karaoke.

"So you're going to that section just for that?" You looked at her and she laughed slightly

"I use the bathroom too" you both laughed.

They returned to the table with the drinks. Time passed slowly, the atmosphere was so good that the four of them got carried away and drank a little more, but since you were not used to drinking your friends held it better than you without a doubt. You laughed, sang and danced like everyone else in the room.

You were so gone that you didn't know that one of your friends had put them on the list to go up and sing.

"It's going to be our turn" the redhead said, drinking from her glass.

"What for?" you said, wiping the drink residue from your lips.

"we´re gonna sing buddy!" the blonde said screaming as she got up from her seat.

If you had been in your 5 senses you would be nervous, dying of anxiety, resisting but since you were under the influence of alcohol, you stood up dancing. You didn't think of anything, you didn't rush for a moment, you decided it was your time, you felt good, it was in the air so, why not?

They were passing by the tables when they were called.

"The next group will sing, a round of applause for these beautiful ladies" Applause and some whistles were present when they took the stage.

..............................

"You guys said it would be a bar, not this place," Joel said as he wrinkled his nose.

"Come on men, this place is amazing"

"and let's not forget that you can find beauties here"

Joel had gone to the same karaoke/bar with his friends, they had been to that place many times, Joel let´s say he was not a fan of karaoke.

They came in and heard applause and whistles from the people. The place was a little more crowded when he arrived, they went to the bar next to the karaoke and sat on the closest stools they could find.

"We have a good view tonight," said one of his friends who, like him, was a teacher, only he was a medical teacher.

They ordered their drinks, and before they could start talking, the melody of a song began to play.

"It's not the one they dedicated to you, doctor," he said with a laugh as Joel joined in.

"At least I had a reaction from a woman, tell me what you got?" he laughed

"Two beautiful children" he looked into his eyes

"crikey" Joel said, drinking from the bottle

You and your friends started singing, and Joel still didn't realize that two girls on stage were his students.

"I told them I wouldn't have as much time in class since I'd be doing work somewhere else" the doctor said, sipping from his beer bottle.

"Then you won't teach at the university anymore?" said Joel as he held the spout of the bottle.

"I think I have better opportunities in the other place, honestly it's overwhelming"

"overwhelming?" said the other "It's overwhelming to have kids, and a shitty job that pays the minimum monthly, plus you get the best, you can see beautiful and young girls without commitment"

The doctor and Joel looked at each other, shaking their heads, smiling.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you friend but… I don't work in that place for the girls" he said, shaking his head as he looked up at the stage,

"Joel?"

"No, I'm sorry, I don't either" he rub both palms into his jeans.

"you´re both idiots, you could be with whoever you wanted" he grabbed his beer and pointed to the singing girls.

"¡Carve my name into his leather seats!" the redhead sang at the top of her lungs.

"Just an example, imagine that those girls are your students, wouldn't you notice them?"

Both men turned to the stage, the doctor made a face and turned to look at him, while Joel cocked his head, observed and recognized one, your friend who did the chorus and danced, he laughed, and of the other 3 he was amazed when he saw you, he focused his eyes thinking if it was really you or was he hallucinating.

'is that…'

"Why do you keep thinking that?" said the doctor, tapping his friend's shoulder.

"I'm just saying, it's hypothetical" he looked at Joel and laughed "I think Joel did like the idea"

They both looked at Joel and he pointed his finger at both of you

"those two are my students" the two of them turned to see who he was referring to and made a surprised face, more than anything when they saw how one of them, I mean you, had your eyes narrowed trying to read the lyrics but without losing your style.

"Slash a hole in all four tires, maybe next time, he'll think before he cheats" You sang while hugging your friend.

"Are they your students? On a Sunday night, they'll be with a good hangover"

"da bomb" said the doctor raising his bottle in the direction of you toasting

"they won't be my problem tomorrow" said Joel laughing without taking his eyes off you when he saw your funny expressions and trying to concentrate on the lyrics.

When they finished singing, the audience applauded and whistled. They came down from the stage smiling and cheering each other on.

For your part, it had been an ecstasy of emotions, you were sweating from your forehead from so much dancing. They walked to their table and they all fell tired while laughing.

"That was incredible" shouted the blonde

"it was" said your friend drinking from her glass

"Shit, I'm sorry girls but I have to go to the bathroom" you said standing up, your friend got up too

"I'll go with you"

You both walked to the bathrooms on the side of the bar, a few glances turned to you. When I came out already refreshed, they were going through the bar when you got dizzy and stopped.

"Dizziness" you laughed lightly, leaning back on a bench that was alone.

"You've had a lot to drink, let me ask you for a water" your friend said as she asked for the bottle.

"Damn, that man is so cute" you murmured, taking the bottle that your friend held out already opened.

Your friend turned to see who you were referring to and her eyes almost popped out at who it was.

"Is that your boyfriend" she elbowed you and you frowned, confused,

"boyfriend?" you wrinkled your nose looking at her.

"Mr. Miller," she turned to look at you while smiling

"Shit" you muttered while squinting to get a better look

"It certainly looks good in casual clothes" your friend mentioned, looking at it the same way.

You got up and walked over to where he was, slowly approached with your friend behind you and raised your hand greeting him from afar, he smiled nervously at you.

"Mr. Miller!" you said excitedly, smiling at him.

"Hey you" he laughed when he saw you

"what a coincidence, professor" your friend said as she looked at the other two men.

"Shouldn't you be in bed at this hour?" said Joel, wanting to sound serious but failed to see you looking him up and down.

"Oh my God, I just found my father" your friend said sarcastically and you couldn't help but laugh.

"We just wanted to get closer and say…" You took a breath and looked at him "you look great tonight, Mr. Miller" You smiled, cocking your head and blinking. "You look very lonely, do you need company?"

Joel took a big breath and exhaled while laughing

"thanks for the compliment...and I'm not alone" he looked at his friends with a closed-lip smile and they just held back their laughter.

"Well… They're not going to know how to beg for it so..." you bit your lip.

"Okay, see you at the college Mr. Miller" your friend pulled you by the arm. You left laughing on the way to the table and your friend did the same.

"You're crazy" she said as you both sat down.

"Who's crazy?" said the blonde.

"She" pointed at you with her eyes "She dared to hint to our professor"

"Is your teacher here?" The blonde narrowed her eyes

"Wow, she's drunk" said the redhead, eating from the tortilla chips

They all laughed, you told them a little about your little crush, you pointed them out from afar, he was still at the bar with his friends, while you watched him talk animatedly.

From Joel's perspective, he found the way you expressed yourself very funny, you didn't hesitate to say what you thought, he liked it, you seemed like a totally different person from the girl he is used to seeing, quiet, reserved, shy, respectful and above all introverted, with a gentle and sweet look. The girl he saw through his eyes was someone else, but he didn't dislike it, he saw in you a girl who knows how to have fun, without care, flowing with the environment, being herself and not afraid to express whatever is on the tip of her tongue.

....................

Monday.

You cursed the moment you thought it would be a great idea to drink alcohol, until you were knocked unconscious in your friend's car. You'd beat yourself mentally while you were in the bathroom complaining about the migraine you had, while wiping your mouth with water.

"Shit, I can't stand it" You held your forehead with the palm of your hand as you came out of the bathroom.

You didn't want to go to the first hour, your head was exploding and you hadn't found any pills in your entire house, and on top of all that, you had an empty stomach.

You stared at the classroom door, debating whether or not to enter.

"Mmh" you stood in the hallway.

You thought about your options, and you thought it would be a good excuse to go to Ava and ask her for a migraine pill. You walked into the teachers' offices, visualized Ava's door but knocked and got no answer, and remembered that she was arriving a little later, after 8.

You saw the doors of some teachers and administrators open, but you didn't know any of them, you had no choice but to walk to the end of the hallway. You saw the door open and peeked out. He had his back to the door, as you would suppose he was pouring himself his coffee. You knocked twice on the door to get his attention. He turned around and was surprised.

"Good morning," he said hoarsely as he looked at you with a frown.

"Good morning" you said, poking out your whole body and standing at the door.

"Come in, tell me how I can help you" he put the cup down from under the coffee maker and rubbed his palms on his pants.

"Sorry for bothering so early," you winced.

God can't stand even my own voice.

"You're not a nuisance, tell me," he walked over to the coffee pot, looking at the cup.

"I wanted to know if you didn't have a migraine pill" The way you said it was so soft and silent that he turn to look at you with concern.

"Are you okay?" he walked over to a drawer of his desk and looked inside as he put on his glasses and looked at you on them.

"No, I feel like my head is exploding.

They were silent as he rummaged through the drawer. You saw how he picked up a box, opened it, and pulled a pill out of the wrapper.

"Here, it's Dexketoprofen, it'll help you better than an aspirin" You held out the palm of your hand and he placed it in it.

Without saying anything, he handed you a bottle of water.

"Thank you"

You were about to put it in your mouth when its voice interrupted you.

"Have you eaten anything yet?" he looked at you with a worried countenance.

"amm… No" you said sadly, watching as his left hand rummaged through his back pocket, he pulled out his wallet and spoke.

"I'll go get you something, sit down, you must have something in your stomach before you take it."

You sat in the olive green armchair waiting for him. It wasn't long before he walked in the door, you looked at him and his hands left some crackers and an orange on the table. You gawked at things.

"I'll make you a green tea, okay" his voice sounded calmer and softer.

You saw how he went straight to the hot water that he kept in a different coffee pot and poured the water into a cup, took the sack out of the wrapper and plunged it into the water.

You were too tired and sore to say anything. A little attention doesn't hurt.

You didn't know why he was being so helpful, you weren't his responsibility after all. You saw him worried about you, maybe he felt sorry that you were so bad, you felt that you smelled sick and that disgusted you. You felt embarrassed that he saw you like that, you felt so horrible that you didn't want anyone to see you, but he was helping you, being so helpful, you didn't know how that made him twice as attractive.

You saw him come to your side with a cup in his hand. You drank, ate, and took the pill he gave you to relieve the pain in your head.

You felt powerless, you felt weak. It was anything but funny, being locked up with him in his office, smelling of perfume, soap fresh out of the shower, and the essence of coffee, while you smelled of medicine, tea, sick person and vomit for sure.

While he was looking at you with those big brown eyes of his. Her lips parted trying to find words to make you feel better. He was as presentable as ever, his hair fresh and slicked back. The shower hadn't helped you much, it just gave you the power to come to school but you couldn't stand being in it anymore… Not even having set foot in the classroom.

"You need to be careful with alcohol," you looked at him and sighed heavily, "if you can't handle it, don't drink," this time it sounded more demanding.

"Well… You're no one to tell me how much to drink" you looked at him with crooked eyebrows "it's my responsibility"

He nodded, "I know you can be responsible, you're a big girl after all, aren't you?"

You just rolled your eyes back and snorted, drinking the last of the tea. You put the cup down on the coffee table and looked at it.

"Thank you for… This," you pointed to the leftovers in front of you.

"Anything for my favorite student" You looked at him a mocking smile appeared on his face, which made you let out a small laugh mocking sarcastically.

It was a challenge to be around him, he made you feel so small at times, so vulnerable, so loved and damn needy. And sometimes stupid.

You smiled shyly at him as you said goodbye. You got up and in doing so you got dizzy. He reflexively grabbed you by the waist and by your arm, you grabbed his shoulders for support. You closed your eyes and breathed trying to get back to your posture, when you opened them you saw him in front of you, close to you.

He looked at you worriedly, you're sure he asked you if you were okay, but you were gone, it was the closest you'd ever been. He looked at your face to see if you gave any signs, while your thoughts desired something else.

You thought this was your chance, maybe this was the right moment, maybe finding yourself sick in his office was meant to be. You could have thought twice but you didn't, it was now or never.

You looked him in the eye and looked at his lips. He was looking at you confused, maybe you were about to faint and he was still holding you up without doing anything else.

You felt so close to the moment when you felt a hot liquid from the back of your throat rise, burning your windpipe, vocal cords and reaching your roof of your mouth in a matter of seconds. You felt like it was an explosion that came out of your mouth, you didn't want to open your eyes, your gaze was down. Whatever came out of your mouth, it was all over him, his clothes, shoes… You could even feel it on your face, you could feel traces of it on the edges of your lips. But you prayed he wouldn't have a trace on his face. You swallowed hard and heard his voice.

"I think… You must take the pill again."

Fucking hell. Swallow me.

Thanks to Bard's artificial intelligence for giving me insight into the topics of physiological anthropology. we love imagining Joel teaching and being damn smart. Thank you for your support, it means a lot to me. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it, tell me what you thought and what you would like to see in this controversial "relationship".

#joel miller fic #joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal characters #joel miller fanfiction #smut #joel tlou #x reader #joel x f!reader #joel x you #joel x female reader #teacher! joel #teacher attachment #teacher x student #hot teacher #teacher crush #angst #joel angst

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nikirikistan · 8 months

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My music bank partner

~ wonbin ~

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: 𝒊𝒅𝒐𝒍!𝒘𝒐𝒏𝒃𝒊𝒏 𝒙 𝒊𝒅𝒐𝒍!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: 𝒇𝒍𝒖𝒇𝒇, 𝒋𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒚

𝒔𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔: 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒐𝒏𝒃𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒄 𝒃𝒂𝒏𝒌'𝒔 𝑴𝑪𝒔, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒎𝒆𝒆𝒕 𝒐𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒂 𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒌. 𝑭𝒍𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒂 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕. 𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒔 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒃𝒐𝒕𝒉 𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒄𝒉 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔?

Super Shy - NewJeans

The camera pans to show Wonbin. His hands were covering his face. "Wonbin, are you okay?" you asked, gently holding his wrists removing them from his handsome face. "What's wrong Wonbin?" "Something on your mind?" putting on a worried face.

He reads his script before hesitantly reading it out loud, "Wait a minute...while i make you mine". Some truth to that sentence.

Hearing him say that makes your heart race, but it also makes you sad since there is no chance of 'us' happenning.

You both say "Music cue" at the same time. Dancing to 'Super Shy' together.

Killin' Me Good - JIHYO

You've been mcing together for a few months now, and you're getting closer. You were excited to spend some time with him today. Except today, Wonbin has to be on set with the 'knowing brothers'. At the very least, you'll get to see him next week, you reasoned, attempting to see the bright side.

You were standing next to Jaehyun from 'Boynextdoor', who was Wonbin's replacement for the day. He is attractive, resembling Heeseung from 'enhypen,' of which you were a fan.

"You're killin me" putting your hands on your heart acting hurt. "What's wrong, what did i do y/n?" Jaehyun sulking.

"You're making me feel something new" you said with at smile. "Oh really y/n?" he asked, smiling at the camera.

"You're making me feel so brand new". "Oh, i should mc with you more then!" "Don't you guys think so?" He said waving at the camera.

Wonbin watching on his phone, Jaehyun waving at 'him'. He felt a tinge in his heart. Was he...jealous? At the very least, Jaehyun's a good guy...

Memories - RIIZE

You and Wonbin have completed interviewing all the groups. You're both alone in the shared waiting room, resting together.

"So how was it mcing with Jaehyun?" He pretended to be unbothered. "It was good, but i wanted to mc with you, the script was really fun." You stated. "Really?" he asked, knowing you were flirting with the male mc. Did that mean you wanted to flirt with him? he wondered.

"Did you watch it?" you questioned. "Yea, i did during my break" he admitted. "Was i okay?" "I'm not sure why i felt so awkward." "I guess i just got used to you." you admit, flushing slightly. He noticed. "I enjoy mcing with you." he added, blushing.

Wonbin came and sat next to you, facing you. "Did you listen to 'memories' ?" he said hoping. "Yeah, i did, it was so good Wonbin" "You did great" you added.

"Well...i made up my own script based on 'memories' for you." he explained shyly. "Really!?" "Are you gonna show me now?" you smirked. "Yes" he responded, preparing his upbeat mc voice.

"Y/n!! don't wanna waste all these feeling!" he exclaimed, while shooting you finger hearts and dancing. You chuckled. All these feeling? You thought. Does he feel the same? Nah, most likely not. "I gotta taste" he said. When he finished, you giggled, pleased that he had put on a little show for you.

"Wonbin that was so good!!" "If I had known you were going to do this, I would have written a script for you as well."

He grinned at me and nodded, wanting it.

"I made this just for you to confess something..." He said nervously. "What is it?" You said confused.

"I like you"

"..."

"y/n...i understand if you don-"

"I like you too Wonbin"

As you express your feelings, you approached him on your tiptoes. Face so close, both of you making eye contact. Your faces both so flushed. Room quiet only both of your breathing heard.

Slowly, he leaned in. You do the same. His lips were incredibly soft and gentle.

She's returning my kiss! Wonbin thought, "I could stay like this FOREVER."

You both seperated, a little out of breath. "So..." you said. "So..." he added. For a few seconds, there was silence, it felt like hours. He then reaches for both of your hands, which you allow.

"Will you be my girlfriend?". he said nervously.

"YES." you hugged him.

He hugged back tightly.

Both of you not worrying about your companies.

a/n: got motivated by one comment. glad someome likes my writing<3

#kpop fluff #kpop x reader #riize #riize imagines #riize fluff #wonbin #wonbin x reader #wonbin imagines #riize wonbin #wonbin riize #wonbin fluff #riize x reader #riize fluff x reader #Kpop scenarios

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moonkissedvisions · 2 months

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Pick a pile/pick an image: Health messages ❤️‍🩹🌿⭐

Important: 16+. Not medical advice. If you are dealing with a health problem please talk to a professional. This is a general reading, take what resonates and leave the rest. Use your own discernment. Let your intuition guide you.

Pile 1 ❤️‍🩹

cards: Queen of Wands, King of Cups, Four of Wands, Four of Swords, Seven of Pentacles, Two of Wands.

There is a really strong need for REST here. Whether it is a physical or mental break, it is very clear that you have reached a point of great stress and exhaustion in both your body and your mind. Maybe it was a lot of work, study or overthinking and anxiety. Either way, you need to calm your nervous system urgently by walking, sleeping, meditating, deep breathing, being in nature, etc. You also need to appreciate your body and your mind for helping you work and do your daily activities. CELEBRATE your achievements but also your body and your health.

This pile has a good intuition which is helpful in making the right choices for your health. Your balance between your physical and emotional body is good. You have the need to understand the connection between your mind, body and spirit health and the multiple dimensions each of these have. For example, when people think of hormones, they most likely think about the sex and fertility aspect/dimension or hormones. But hormones are emotions, actions, and a lot of other things, so they both affect and are affected by all aspects of health. Your fertility is specially high, so if you are facing fertility problems atm, this may be a sign that you are improving and you should keep focusing on your current treatment and trusting the people who are taking care of you. Determination to quit unhealthy habits and start engaging in good ones is key for you now. You need to gain confidence in your health choices. You are capable of everything, especially rn. Everything that you want for your health is within reach, you just need to trust your course of action and be committed to it.

You need to know that you reap the fruits of the work you do on your health. If you do a good job on taking care of your health, you will feel good. If you don´t, you will not feel good. Also, if you are facing a health problem, you need to evaluate your lifestyle, routines and daily habits to find the root cause.

Finally, be grateful for the work your body does for you everyday. Thank the parts of your body that are working and healthy, instead of just focusing on your sickness/the parts that are bothering you.

Pile 2 🌿

cards: Temperance, Five of Wands, Queen of Wands, Ace of Swords, The Devil.

You may be going through a mysterious health issue, or maybe you are not listening to your body´s messages. It could be that you are ignoring a symptom, and you gave up getting a diagnosis because doctors couldn´t find the problem or had different/contradicting opinions. If that resonates, this could be a sign to not ignore it anymore, because there is a new opportunity to find help, a diagnosis, or a treatment. There is also a new opportunity to start taking care of your health, whatever that means for you

If you had a surgery, you are recovering impressively and completely. There is a lot of regeneration and transformation about this pile. It is possible that you will be cured of an illness. There is some waste in your system that is being removed and eliminated too.

Moderation is really present here. If you want to start eating healthy, quit smoking, or practicing a new form of exercise, I see you doing it gradually. This can be done in the form of reducing your portions or the amount of cigarettes you smoke daily. Your determination is high as well, you are really convinced you can reach your health goals and you probably wont stop until you make it!

Also, be careful with unprotected sex and take care of your genital organs. Avoid promiscuity by channeling your passion with other activities like working out, creating and mindfulness. SLEEP and EAT nutrient dense, building foods for regeneration. Don´t use sex to deal with every emotion. Learn about hormones and how to have healthy hormones/menstrual cycle.

Pile 3 ⭐

cards: Judgment, Two of Pentacles, King of Pentacles, Three of Swords, The Tower.

Health must be a priority as much as your work, your family and your social life are. Maybe this is something you forgot, or something you are starting to remember and being aware of now. There is a need for balance and having fun. You need to find joy in your health routines and be intentional about them. Find the joy in being in nature, playing, moving your body, making healthy meals and taking rest. Be responsible with your choices and priorities.

It is possible that you faced a sudden change in your life or a health issue that left you feeling nervous and anxious, or that you experienced a sudden anxiety attack or some kind of emotional disturbance that affected your health. If you resonate, relaxation is key. Also, it could be that you just realized you need to start therapy because you can´t deal with a problem on your own. The Tower in this pile may indicate muscle tension, stress, high blood pressure, grief, depression and spine problems for some of you. Im getting detoxing as well.

If you resonate with going through grief, pain, depression, heartbreak or a difficult emotional time, allow yourself to feel your emotions. Release them by crying, screaming, punching a pillow, writing, or whatever way is helpful to you. Acknowledge your hurt, your pain without getting lost in it. Practice gratitude. Reconnecting with nature is another good thing to do, since nature is something greater than ourselves and also incredibly beautiful, mesmerizing, and healing. As you can see in the picture you picked, grounding and walking in a forest is adviced. Get exposed to natural light and natural springs. Drink a lot of fluids, get enough minerals. Drink calming, soothing teas. Planning your health routines will be beneficial.

Lastly, take care of your joints by maintaining a good posture, moving your body and strenghtening your muscles.

Thank you for reading! Feel free to ask any questions, or leave any suggestions and corrections!

164 notes · View notes

screaminglygay · 26 days

Text

Burning match

pairings: kate bishop x fem!reader

summary: shutting off your feeling is not the best idea, but talking about them hurts too much.

warnings: swearing, character gets badly hurt, mentions of injuries, men, reader being stubborn, some angst with happy ending:)

word count: 5.5k

an: this one is little longer, but i didnt feel like cutting it in halfway, hehe, hope you´ll like it!:)

part one | part two

!MDNI!

"Come on, try again." Natasha says as she hold the lap for you to hit it.

The past few weeks, you´ve been trying to keep yourself busy. Small missions. Paper work. Training with Natasha. Spending time with MJ and Peter in Queens. Everything to keep Kate away. Everyone realized that something is wrong, that´s the main reason, why Fury didn´t give you a long or a hard missions. He couldn´t risk you being reckless, but he also didn´t want to keep you out of the game.

"I´m trying!" You yell as you hit the boxing paw, but you didn´t cover your face, so Natasha hits you back.

"Your mind is somewhere else. I need you to be here with me." The redhead put her hand back up, for you to try again. "If we would be on the field, you´d be dead by now." She states, hoping it will motivate you, but it did the exact opossite.

"That would be great, actually." You try to hit her paw, but she put her hands down.

"(Y/N)…" Natasha looks at you and takes off the paws.

"What are you doing?" You are supposed to train for another fifty minutes.

"We´re having a break. Sit down." You sit down, taking off your gloves. "Are you gonna talk to me, or just pretend like everything is great?" Natasha sits down as well.

You shrug. "It's complicated, Nat. I don't even know where to start."

"Start at the beginning. I'm here to listen." She looks at you.

"It's about feelings. Complicated feelings," you admit, fidgeting with the edge of your gloves.

"Remember when I used to have a crush on Wanda? Well, it turns out those feelings are just exchanged with a different feelings.. with different someone…"

Natasha nods, her expression encouraging you to continue.

"It´s Kate," you continue, the weight of the unspoken emotions settling between you. "I never expected to feel this way again, but it's there. And I can't face her. I can't face anyone, really."

Natasha's eyes reflect empathy as she absorbs your words. "Feelings are messy, (Y/N), but running from them won't make them disappear. You've got to confront them, understand them, and then decide what to do next."

You look down at your hands, the moment feeling like a barrier between you and the vulnerability of your emotions. "I already decided, I don´t want to confront them at all. It´s just… overwhelming."

Natasha reaches over, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. "You don't have to figure it all out at once. Take it one step at a time. Talk to Kate. See where it goes. And remember, I'm here for you, no matter what. And like with Wanda it either will go away or you will figure it out."

You sigh. "It was different with Wanda. In many ways. I don´t think it will be the same. They are both totally different people." You say as you think about that time of your life.

"What was different? Having a bro code with Pietro?" Natasha asks, without missing a beat and that makes you smile and roll your eyes.

The door swings open, your gaze lifts, only to meet the eyes of the archer you've been succesfully avoiding. Instantly, your posture tenses, a reflexive response to the presence.

Kate walks in, but stops as she notices you´re with Natasha, "can I have a minute with (Y/N)?"

Natasha looks at you and you just nod. Which makes Natasha stand up and leave the room.

"So…" Kate starst, but she is actually not really sure how to start at all.

"So…" You look at her and she sits down next to you."You had a sparing session with Natasha?" Kate asks, looking at the gloves on the ground.

"Um- yeah, yeah, I had." You nod as well as Kate.

The room holds an unspoken tension. Kate breaks the silence with a question that cuts through the charged atmosphere.

"Am I too annoying?" Kate's gaze is probing, searching for confirmation in your eyes.

Your response is quick, "What? No! Of course not!"

Kate interrupts, her tone cutting, "You've been off. So what's your problem?"

"I don´t have a problem." You shrug.

"You don´t? Well even Mike thinks you´re kinda off…" Kate states.

A scoff escapes your lips involuntarily, and you mutter mockingly, "oh Mike thinks that.."

The archer looks at you and raise her eyebrow, "what´s that supposed to mean?"

"Forget it, nothing." You look away, already feeling like you gonna explode.

"Say it." You can feel that the atmosphere didn´t clear out at all.

"No, it´s nothing important." You look back at her.

"(Y/N), say it!" Kate is on the verge of exploding too, you can feel it and even see it.

"Okay, fine! Your boyfriend, he´s a dick." Okay, that slipped out. Shit, that shouldn´t have slipped out.

Oh god.

You succesfully shocked the archer, she is completly stunned. "What's your problem with Mike?" Kate's voice rises, defensive and confrontational.

"It's this something about him." you take a deep breath, the tension escalating. "You deserve better." There it is, you finally said it. Maybe a little differently then you wanted, but you did.

The declaration becomes a spark igniting an unexpected blaze. Kate's eyes narrow, a mixture of frustration and anger surfacing. "You don't know him like I do. You don't get to judge my choices. Who do you think you are to say these things?!"

The argument escalates, a collision of conflicting emotions, and before you know it, the room becomes a battleground once again. Before you could find your words, trying to save it, she speaks once again.

"I don't need this. I thought we could talk, but clearly, I was wrong."

And with that, Kate storms out, leaving you alone in the sparring room, the echoes of the confrontation lingering in the air like a haunting melody.

Fuck.

...

After the heated confrontation with Kate, the sparring room feels like a vacuum, the lingering echoes of the argument still resonating in the air. Hours pass, marked by the ticking clock and the persistent sound of rain against the windows. Eventually, you decide to venture back to the living room, a sense of emptiness accompanying each step.

As you enter the living room, you open the fridge in hopes that you will find a fresh icy cold water bottle. Finally you have a little luck in your life and there it is. As you take few sips from it you speak out. "Hey, F.R.I.D.A.Y., have you seen Kate around?" you inquire, your voice betraying a hint of sadness.

F.R.I.D.A.Y. responds with a measured tone, "Miss Bishop is currently on a mission with Mr. Rogers and Miss Belova. They left a forty minutes ago."

A pang of regret tightens your chest. The opportunity to apologize and mend things with Kate slips through your fingers, replaced by a sense of longing and missed chances.

"Alright, thanks, F.R.I.D.A.Y.," you mutter, retreating to a corner of the living room. The rain outside matches the melancholy mood within, creating a backdrop for the emotional storm you find yourself caught in.

...

You find solace in the embrace of your bed, its comfort offering a temporary refuge from the emotional turmoil that swirls within. The room, dimly lit by the glow of the bedside lamp, becomes a sanctuary where you can confront the tangled web of feelings.

Wrapped in the warmth of blankets, you replay the events in your mind, analyzing each word and gesture. Regret sticks with you, and the longing to bridge the gap between you and Kate grows with each passing moment. The desire to apologize, to untangle the knots of misunderstanding, becomes a persistent ache that refuses to dissipate.

But was it a misunderstanding? Or just something you held in yourself for a really long time?

As the rain continues its rhythmic dance against the window, time seems to stretch, each moment weighed down by the emotional heaviness. The glow of the bedside clock ticks away, a constant reminder of the day slipping through your fingers.

Messages from MJ and Peter light up your phone, concerned inquiries that you choose to ignore for now. You will answer them later. Maybe.

The dim glow of the bedside clock casts a faint light in the room as your phone incessantly lights up with notifications. Ignoring it initially, you think it´s MJ or Peter again. However, the persistent buzzing becomes too insistent to ignore, pulling you back to the harsh reality beyond the cocoon of your thoughts.

A new notification pops up, catching your attention. It's from Yelena, and the message sends a shiver down your spine. "Kate got into an accident. We're at the hospital."

The words hang in the air, a chilling realization that transcends the emotional turmoil you've been grappling with. The cocoon of solitude suddenly feels fragile, the threads unraveling in the face of an unforeseen crisis.

Before you can fully process the gravity of the situation, your phone vibrates with an incoming call from Natasha. With a sense of foreboding, you answer, your voice catching in your throat.

"(Y/N), it's about Kate. There's been an accident," Natasha's voice is steady but laced with an underlying tension. "They're at the St.Nicholas. Steve said it's serious. You need to come, but please drive carefuly." Natasha´s voice cracks and that makes your stomach drops even lower.

Without a second thought, you spring into action, a surge of adrenaline propelling you out of the room and into the stormy night. The rain outside mirrors the tempest within as you navigate the path to the hospital, the glow of your phone lighting the way with messages that now hold a newfound urgency.

The rain-drenched streets blur as you rush towards the hospital, heart pounding in your chest. The vivid lights of the emergency room entrance greet you as you finally arrive, breathless and soaked. Your gaze scans the room, finding Natasha, Steve, and Yelena huddled together, their faces etched with worry.

Ignoring the pull of exhaustion, you hurry towards them, relief and anxiety warring within you. Natasha, noticing your arrival, steps forward, her eyes reflecting a mix of concern and understanding.

"(Y/N), she's stable now," Natasha says softly, her hand resting reassuringly on yours as she stops you from coming into the room. "But they won't let us visit her just yet."

A mix of emotions floods over you – relief that Kate is stable, yet a lingering unease at the unknown extent of her injuries. The hospital's sterile ambiance amplifies the tension in the air as Steve steps forward, his usually stoic expression betraying a deep concern.

"There was a room filled with explosive material, and it detonated while she was near it," Steve explains, the weight of the situation evident in his voice. "She's lucky to be alive."

As Steve explains, you feel a knot tighten in your stomach. The image of Kate, caught in the blast, flashes in your mind. The once trivial disagreements now seem insignificant, overshadowed by the reality of Kate's perilous situation.

Yelena remains silent, her eyes revealing the worry she can't put into words. The waiting room becomes a space suspended in time, a limbo between the fear of the unknown and the hope for Kate's recovery.

For now, the only option is to wait – to wait for news, for permission to visit Kate, and, above all, for a sign that she will pull through.

...

Time seems to stretch as the group anxiously awaits news about Kate. The sterile waiting room is filled with hushed conversations and the rhythmic beeping of medical equipment. The air is thick with anticipation until finally, a doctor emerges, breaking the tense silence.

"Miss Bishop is stable. She's going to be okay," the doctor announces, a collective sigh of relief escaping from those gathered. "However, she needs time to recover. The explosion caused many injuries, and she's currently sleeping."

Steve, Yelena, and Natasha exchange grateful glances, and a sense of gratitude washes over them. The doctor continues, "You can visit her. We'll keep you updated on her progress."

As the trio heads toward Kate's room, you hesitate. The relief is palpable, but an overwhelming desire to be close to Kate prevails. Determined, you follow them into the room.

Kate lies peacefully on the hospital bed, surrounded by the sterile white walls. Machines softly hum, monitoring her vital signs. You can hear Yelena talk in russian, which you don´t understand at all.

Natasha places a gentle hand on Yelena´s shoulder, exchanging a few quiet words with her and Steve before leading them out, leaving you alone with your friend.

The room is dimly lit, the soft glow of monitors casting a gentle light on Kate's sleeping form. The exhaustion from the events of the day catches up with you, but an unwavering need to be there for Kate keeps you by her side.

You pull a chair close to the bed, taking Kate's hand in yours. The rhythmic beeping of the machines becomes a soothing backdrop as you sit there, unmoving, lost in the quiet vigil.

"I´m really sorry, Katie." You whisper, so much regret in those words. Hours pass, marked by the steady rise and fall of Kate's chest. Your mind is a tempest of emotions – relief, worry, gratitude. The ordeal has left you physically and emotionally drained. The chair feels uncomfortable, but you can't bring yourself to leave Kate's side.

As the night wears on, fatigue sets in. The hospital room becomes your bedroom now, interrupted only by the soft sounds of medical equipment. Unable to resist the heaviness of your eyelids, you lean against the chair and finally fall asleep too.

...

Morning light filters through the hospital room's window, casting a soft glow on the still figure of Kate. The rhythmic sounds of medical equipment persist, a constant reminder of the fragile balance between recovery and the unknown. You wake up, the stiffness in your muscles a testament to the night spent in the uncomfortable chair.

The door creaks open, and Natasha enters, holding a small tray with a cup of water and a plate of food. Her eyes, though tired, hold a reassuring warmth.

"Hey," Natasha says softly, offering a small smile. "I thought you might need this."

Tears well up in your eyes as you take in the caring gesture. "Thanks, Nat."

Natasha places the tray on the table and pulls a chair closer. "How are you holding up?"

You shrug and glance at Kate, her peaceful slumber giving you a momentary respite. "The last time we talked, we had a fight," you confess, your voice choked with emotion.

Natasha leans forward, a comforting presence. "(Y/N), these things happen, especially in our line of work. What's important now is that she's going to be okay."

"I was too blind to let her be happy," you admit, the weight of regret settling in. "I should have never said anything."

Natasha reaches out, squeezing your hand gently. "You care about her, and that's what matters. The rest can be worked out later." She encourages you to eat and drink, a gentle reminder of the need to take care of yourself. The food feels tasteless, but with Natasha's support, each bite becomes a small triumph.

"Kate is strong, and she's going to pull through. You being here for her matters more than you realize," Natasha reassures, offering a comforting presence in the quiet hospital room.

Her words are stuck in your head. You are here. You are. Where is Mike?

"He's still not here, hasn't even bothered to check in," you mutter to Natasha, a sense of frustration coloring your tone.

Natasha furrows her brow, sensing the underlying tension. "Mike? Maybe he's just dealing with things in his own way."

"So if you had the love of your life in a hospital you wouldn´t care to find them?" You are once again getting angry, even though you are strongly agaisnt the man, maybe you are overreacting. Or maybe you are right the whole time. Thoughts are running in and out of your head. Too much things at the moment.

"(Y/N), people react differently in situations like these. Give him some time."

But the silence from Mike speaks louder than any explanation Natasha could offer. The realization stirs a mix of emotions — frustration, disappointment, and a strange sense of feeling you couldn´t name yet.

Natasha leaves the hospital room, offering a reassuring smile as she heads to the cafeteria to check up on Steve and Yelena. The door closes behind her, leaving you alone with your thoughts and sleeping Kate.

After some time, Natasha returns with Yelena, her expression serious. "Steve's heading back to the compound to take care of some calls and paperwork. He'll be back soon," she informs you.

The hospital room feels both empty and crowded, a paradoxical mix of solitude and shared concern. Yelena, seated by the window, looks up as Natasha speaks. "We´ll stay here with you for a while," Nat offers.

Grateful for the company, you nod, and Natasha takes a seat in the corner, while Yelena sits by Kate's bedside. The atmosphere in the room becomes more subdued, the weight of the events settling in.

After a little bit you step out to get some fresh air, a knot of tension lingers. The hallway outside is quiet, and you take a moment to collect your thoughts. As you turn to the bathrooms, you notice someone standing a little way down the corridor — Mike, Kate's boyfriend.

His presence catches you off guard, and a mixture of emotions surges within. The frustration from the previous thoughts intensifies, and a sense of unease accompanies the realization that he's here, yet the silence persists.

Mike looks up from his phone, noticing you. His expression is a mix of surprise and discomfort. The air between you is thick with unspoken words and unresolved tensions. It's a moment frozen in time, the hospital hallway becoming a silent arena for a confrontation that has been brewing beneath the surface.

Yelena and Natasha remain inside the room, unaware of the encounter in the hallway. The decision of whether to address the situation or let it linger hangs in the air, and as you lock eyes with Mike. You know Kate would not want you to go up to him and start a fight, but you can´t help it.

The air in the hospital hallway thickens as you approach Mike, who seems taken aback by your presence. A mix of frustration and anger simmers beneath the surface, waiting to erupt.

"It took you a while to finally arrive," you say, the words laced with a mixture of scoff and irritation.

Mike doesn't respond with an apology or explanation. Instead, he meets your challenging gaze and, with a dismissive tone, retorts, "Why do you care?"

The confrontation escalates, each word becoming a verbal jab as the tension between you intensifies. Mike, rather than showing concern for Kate or acknowledging the gravity of the situation, responds with rudeness and indifference.

"Why do I care?!" There it is, the sharp exchange of words. "If she was my girlfriend, I would call, text—I would run into every hospital, until I would find her!" you shout, your frustration boiling over. But Mike remains unmoved, his calm demeanor only fueling the fire.

"But she's not," he speaks with an unsettling calmness.

The words hang in the air, a harsh reality that slaps you in the face. "What?" you stammer, caught off guard by the bluntness of his statement.

"You've said it yourself, if. She is not your girlfriend," Mike replies, his words cutting through the emotional turmoil like a knife.

The realization hits hard, the vulnerability beneath your anger exposed. The hurt, disappointment, and frustration converge into a surge of raw emotion.

Natasha, hearing the escalating confrontation, steps in, grabbing your hand to stop you from saying or doing anything impulsive. "You won't help her by this, (Y/N)," she says calmly, her grip a grounding force amid the tempest of emotions.

The hospital hallway becomes a silent witness to the tangled threads of relationships, the fractures laid bare in the harsh light of truth. As Natasha intervenes, you take a deep breath, grappling with the storm of emotions within. The focus shifts from the confrontation to the shared concern for Kate's well-being, a reminder that in the face of adversity, unity is more crucial than discord.

Natasha makes you take a few deep breaths, trying to diffuse the tension. Frustration still simmers within you, and you can't shake off the urge to do something impulsive. Your words to Natasha echo your volatile emotions.

"He's being an arrogant idiot," you mutter to Natasha, your anger palpable. "I swear, if I didn't care about Kate, I'd punch him."

Mike, unfazed, wears an arrogant smile as if reveling in the chaos he has incited. The atmosphere in the hospital corridor remains charged, the unspoken conflict simmering beneath the surface. With a frustrated scoff you finally manage to go to the bathroom, to freshen up a little bit, or at least calm the anger burning inside you.

In the midst of the tension, a weak voice cuts through the air. Kate stirs in her hospital bed, her gaze flickering around the room as she tries to make sense of her surroundings. Her eyes land on Yelena, who is engrossed in a magazine.

"What the hell was that?" Kate asks, her voice a mix of confusion and concern.

"Kate! You´re awake! Oh and that? (Y/N)." Yelena puts the magazine down.

"Is she okay?" Kate asks without a beat.

Yelena hesitates for a moment, choosing her words carefully. "She's… okay."

The ambiguity in Yelena's response doesn't escape Kate's notice. "Whats that supposed to mean?" Kate´s voice still very raspy from just waking up.

"Well curently she´s cursing at your boy for being a dick." The blonde chuckles, as she´s rooting for your win.

"She is?" Kate's eyes widen with a mix of surprise and concern.

"Yeah… I heard Natasha step in, too sad I wanted to see (Y/N) throw some fists, she could take him.." Yelena looks at Kate, "what? I´m just stating the facts."

Kate tries to sit up and leave the bed, but Yelena immedietly notices and tries to keep her in bed. "No, Kate, stay." But that doesn´t stop the injured archer.

Ignoring Yelena's attempts to keep her in bed, Kate go out the room, trying to piece together the events that led her here until her gaze finally lands on Natasha, a silent guardian in the midst of the unfolding drama. Mike´s back is facing Kate as she somehow walked out of her hospital room.

"You all are crazy, who do you think you guys are? Mighty heroes?" He laughs "At least Kate will realize how useless her bow and arrow is…"

"Mike…" Natasha tries as she meets Kate´s blue eyes. Her posture softens a little bit with relief as she notices that Kate is awake.

"If her dad was around maybe she would get some sences knocked into her, this is ridicilous. Pretending to be a hero." Kate barerly stands there, she hopes this is just a big hallucination from the pills they gave her. "And who is your inspiration, hm? A- a- hooker mixed with Lara Croft?"

Natasha steps forward with a slight smile on her face, "If I was you, I would choose your words more wisely."

"What did you just said?" Kate jumps in with a question, her voice cracking up a little bit.

Mike turns around, completly shifting his body language, "oh babe! You are awake!" He rushes to her side but Yelena is quick to walk out of the room and push him away.

"Возьми ее за руки, и я сломаю тебе все кости в твоем чертовом теле." Yelena is really ready to strike.

(translation: Get your fucking hands on her and I´ll break all of your bones in your god damn body.)

"Leave me alone, she is my girlfriend!" The guy states. "Mine, understand?!" He tries to fight off the Widow, but if anything it was more of a sad try on his side.

The dismissive tone and lack of accountability in Mike's words infuriate Kate. Her face contorts with anger as she delivers a stern message. "You need to leave, Mike. I don't want to see you."

"Babe-" Mike's another attempt at a protest is met with a stern gaze from Kate, cutting him off. "Go home, Mike. I need some space."

"It´s because of your freak friend, right? That poor (Y/N)…" He somehow gets Yelena´s hands off of him and adjust his jacket.

Kate's eyes narrow at the mention of your name, and a wave of frustration washes over her. "Go."

Before Mike can respond Natasha is leading him out of the sight, while Yelena helps Kate back to her bed.

Kate nods, a mix of gratitude and relief in her eyes. "Thanks, guys. Now, can someone fill me in on everything that happened?"

As Yelena explains everything from the mission to this moment, Natasha, with her keen sense of observation, follows the emotional trail to find you in the bathroom. The tension and frustration from the earlier confrontation still linger, and she approaches you with a steady but understanding gaze.

"Kate is awake," Natasha announces, her words breaking through the quiet reflection in the bathroom.

The news propels you into action. Without a second thought, you practically sprint back to the hospital room where Kate is, your heart racing with a mix of anxienty and relief.

With Yelena and Natasha giving you some privacy, the atmosphere in the hospital room becomes more intimate. Kate looks at you with a mixture of gratitude and curiosity, and you can sense the unspoken questions lingering in the air.

"You really went to fight for me out there," Kate says, breaking the silence. Her voice is soft, filled with appreciation.

You give her a small smile. "Of course, Kate. He´s such an- anytime."

Kate chuckles at your words, "I appreciate it. More than you know." You find yourself sit next to her side once again. "I just couldn't stand by and let him hurt you. You mean a lot to me."

Kate's expression softens, and she reaches out to take your hand. "You mean a lot to me too. I didn't expect anyone to stand up for me like that."

"Well, get used to it," you say with a playful grin. "I've got your back. And now more than ever, miss walking into a room with explossives." You playfully tease her.

Kate just laughs, even though it hurts her a little bit.

"So, what did you do in the hallway, before Nat stepped in?"

You can't help but chuckle, the tension dissipating. "Oh nothing, just me telling off to your not-so-charming boyfriend."

Kate raises an eyebrow wanting to say something totally different then the thing she left out. "Hm, alright then."

"You should get some rest," you smile as you put the blanket over her. "I´m fine, actually I don´t feel much pain." Kate says as she visible fights off the sleepiness.

"That´s because you´re high, Bishop." You chuckle.

"Hm… interesting, I didn´t though about it." She opens her eyes. "You´re so high."

"Yup. Probably, I mean… this stuff is good. It got the kick." She smiles as she shifts a little bit in her bed and she finally drift off.

...

As the days pass, you continue to be by Kate's side, offering support and companionship during her recovery in the hospital. Your presence becomes a source of comfort, and together, you navigate the challenges of rehabilitation. Feeling like you two are even closer than before, feeling so good around her as she does. You feel complete again.

Not a signle thought about Mike in yours or Kate´s head.

Finally, the day arrives when Kate is well enough to leave the hospital. You assist her in the wheelchair, wheeling her out of the hospital room and through the corridors. As you approach the compound, the familiar faces of the Avengers greet both of you with smiles and cheers. They've organized a "Welcome Back" party for Kate, a celebration of her recovery and return.

With the wheelchair parked in the midst of the festive atmosphere, Kate insists, "I can handle the wheelchair on my own, you know." You respond with a playful grin, "I like to push you around."

The words carry a lighthearted warmth, an acknowledgment of the bond that has grown stronger during these trying times. Kate chuckles, appreciating the sentiment behind your words.

Throughout the party, you continue to take care of Kate, ensuring she's comfortable and included in the festivities. The Avengers express their relief and happiness at seeing Kate back on her feet, and the atmosphere is one of shared joy and camaraderie.

As the night progresses, the two of you find a quiet corner to sit and talk. The glow of the party surrounds you, but in that moment, it's the connection between you and Kate that shines the brightest.

"You've been a real friend through all of this," Kate says, sincerity in her eyes.

"I just wanted to be here for you," you reply, a soft smile on your face. After a little you look back at her. "I had this crazy idea. Do you trust me, Bishop?" you ask, a playful smile on your face.

Kate looks at you with a mix of curiosity and a hint of nervous anticipation. "Do I have a choice?" she replies, a playful smirk tugging at the corner of her lips.

"Not really," you admit, your eyes dancing with excitement. "Fine, fine. I trust you." Kate nods.

"Okay, then get ready, because we´re going for a ride!" You say as you help her get back on the wheelchair. "It took me a little bit to figure it out, but I watched some youtube tutorials and I think it should work." You ramble to Kate, who still have zero idea what you´re talking about.

"Close your eyes, please,"you instruct, and Kate, now used to your playful antics, complies with a smirk.

As she close her eyes shut, you push the wheelchair, outside. Little cold breeze hitting the both of you. You push her infront of the homemade ramp, you made couple nights ago, thanks to some random guy on YouTube.

"Alright, open your eyes," you announce, stepping back to reveal your creation.

Kate opens her eyes, and her gaze shifts from you to the makeshift ramp. A mixture of surprise and excitement lights up her face. "What's all this? You won´t push me off, right?" she asks, with a giggle.

"I thought we could use a change of scenery," you say with a grin.

"And since our favorite place is the rooftop, I figured, why not bring it to you?" You smile, being really pround of what you´ve build. Deep down still hoping it won´t break as soon as Kate´s wheelchair will go on it.

"You built this?" Kate's eyes widen with appreciation as she takes in the effort you've put into creating a way for her to join you on the rooftop. You just nod at her question.

"This is amazing," Kate says, her voice filled with gratitude. "To the roof and beyond!" If this wouldn´t be Kate, you would find this quote use very cheesy, but since it´s Kate, you had to let out a chuckle.

With careful precision, you guide Kate up the improvised ramp, ensuring her safety as she rides to the rooftop. Once you both reach the top, a breathtaking view of the city awaits, and the sounds of the party below are replaced by the serene hum of the night.

Seated together on the rooftop, surrounded by the city lights, you and Kate share a moment of quiet companionship. The homemade ramp, a symbol of your dedication and the uniqueness of your connection, becomes a testament to the lengths you're willing to go to make each other happy.

As you sit side by side, overlooking the cityscape, Kate breaks the silence with a sincere look in her eyes. "I'm sorry about not listening to you."

You meet her gaze, the connection between you deepening. "I'm sorry about being right about your boy," you say with a playful laugh. Kate chuckles. "Well, I think it's good to burst out the bubble. He's not my boy anymore."

"What?" The shock in your voice is palpable.

"Yeah. I broke up with him, and he replied with a thumbs up and a 'You weren't even worth it.' So…"

"Oh my god, Kate, I'm so sorry-" You instinctively reach for her hand.

"No, you're not," she interrupts with a reassuring smile.

"Not about him, but… you don't deserve that. Who does he think he is? Oh my god, I'll tell him-" Now it's Kate's turn to take your hand. "Okay, Rambo, calm down," Kate teases. "I'm fine, really. And he´s the one not worth it."

"So he wasn´t the chosen one?" You tease.

"Oh that´t a low blow, (Y/L/N)" She roll her eyes, but laugh along with you.

As the night unfolds, the atmosphere between you two is not just warm; it's a comforting embrace that you don´t want ever lose again, even if it means being just friends with the archer.

Thank you for reading!!!

#adele writes #kate bishop x fem!reader #kate bishop x reader #kate bishop #marvel fanfiction #marvel fanfic #marvel #wlw fanfic

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dyns33 · 9 months

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The Big Cat

It was difficult but I wrote for Miguel O Hara ! Took me weeks, and I’ll try again, but I don”t know why, it’s super hard to write about him.

It was mainly to laugh and annoy him that Y/N was saying that Miguel was more like a cat than a spider.

It was also somewhat true.

Between his fangs, claws, heels, and demeanor, the leader of the Spider Society often looked like a big cat. Grumpy, territorial, asocial.

When he wasn't out in the field shutting down an anomaly, he stayed in his office, growling when someone came uninvited, and even when they were invited.

It was hard to be close to him, but many of them tried. Some managed it, a bit, like Jess and Peter. Y/N too according to them, although she wasn't always sure.

She remained hopeful, telling herself that if she really bothered him, he would have sent her back to her dimension a long time ago.

Even when she stood against him during the Miles affair, she was the only one not to be sent back to her universe. He didn't change his mind, but he listened to her, mumbling and sighing, because she didn't understand anything, but he didn't yell at her, he didn't threaten her, and she wasn't thrown into a portal.

But maybe he hadn't done it yet because he wasn't cruel. Y/N had no one in her dimension. People didn't like her, they saw her as a criminal, she had no friends, her crush (whom she hadn't even held hands once) had died falling from a roof.

The spider society was the best thing that had happened to her, and without her being able to explain why, she really wanted to be close to Miguel, the big cat.

Y/N wondered if it was irony when it was she who was turned into a cat by an anomaly. She had barely had time to teleport to HQ and now she was meowing desperately through the halls, trying to find someone who could help her.

Of course, it had to be the big cat.

It was always difficult to know what Miguel was thinking. He spoke little, and his face didn't often show emotion, except when he was angry. Very angry.

Regarding the animals, it was also difficult to know what he thought of them. There were Animal Spiders, but it wasn't the same. He treated Ham, Spider-cat and T-rex with respect, talking to them as if they were human.

Real animals were different.

"Hola." he said calmly, with his monotonous tone, approaching her. "Are you lost, little thing ?"

"Meow !" was the only answer Y/N could give him.

"Don't be afraid, amor. How did you get in here? Someone took you ? Well, whatever. You must be thirsty. Come with me."

Y/N had already seen Miguel with Peter's baby, and some children during missions. She knew he could be sweet. But he had never been like this with her, so it was a surprise to find herself in his arms.

He carried her to his office, where he offered her some water, before putting her on his lap and stroking her head. Dreamy. Y/N couldn't help purring. Eyes closed, enjoying the feeling, she didn't see him smile. Miguel never smiled.

"Lyla." he said pressing down on his computer. "Find out whose cat this is and how it got into HQ."

"I'm waiting."

"... Please."

"Right away, boss !"

As his virtual assistant disappeared to complete her task, Miguel continued to pat her head while concentrating on the screens of his many computers.

Most of them showed universes where certain anomalies had been reported, and which he watched very carefully. Others from the universes of spiders who had caused problems, like Miles, or who needed to rest, like Jess. There were images of a variant of Miguel with a little girl. And there was a screen with Y/N.

She stared at it, suddenly stopping purring, surprised to see herself here and not understanding why.

Like the big cat that he was, Miguel took note, looking down at her.

"What ? Do you want something, amor ?"

"Meow !"

“Hmm. Oh, her ? A nuisance, don't worry."

"You mean your tu pequeño favorito, tu dulce sueño, tu..."

"Lyla !" Miguel growled, waving his hand to blur the apparition, which made her laugh even more. "Shut up."

"Okay, I won't say anything about your secret. And I couldn't find anything on the cat, the cameras had a weird reception problem, and then we can see it hanging around the halls."

"It's not normal, find the reason for this concern. And... I don't want any comment, but I thought that Y/N had to take care of an anomaly. It's been several hours, she doesn't didn't send in her report. Did she come back ?"

"I think so ? Her watch beeped in this dimension. I'm inquiring, boss ! Don't panic, I'm sure your querida isn't far."

"Callate, idiota !"

Sometimes Peter B. annoyed everyone by saying that his daughter had magical powers and that holding her in your arms made it possible not to get upset.

Y/N could now tell that her cat version had managed to contain Miguel, who was flushed with rage, visibly ready to destroy everything around him and yell at Lyla, but just breathed very hard, gently holding her against him.

"I'm sorry, amor... It's fine." he reassured her by patting her neck. "It's just... I'm tired."

There were some things Lyla had said that had troubled Y/N, but the tall spiderman's sad look caught her full attention. She had never seen him like this.

There had been the story of the dimension he had destroyed. Moments when he stared into space. The huge Morales disaster, when some wondered if the spider society still had a reason to exist if their leader made so many mistakes.

Luckily, the majority had come to Miguel's defense, because as spiders they had all made mistakes, lots of mistakes, always thinking they were making the right decision and wanting to do good. Y/N was one of those.

Their support had seemed to please Miguel, even if he had hesitated to give up his place and go into exile. Since then, he had made efforts, he had been more careful.

Even if he continued to behave like an aggressive and grumpy feline with the younger ones who hurt themselves a little too much, and with Y/N who loved to tease him, and who also hurt herself a bit, sometimes.

"Meow." she said, rubbing her nose against Miguel's face, which brought up a sad smile.

"Thank you, mi amor. that's nice. I thought after Morales... But there are always anomalies. Always worlds to save. And always... Why can't she pay attention ? It's although she protects the little ones, like she protected Miles. She was right, I should have listened to her, but I couldn't risk destroying the entire multiverse for one man if she was wrong."

"I know, you already told me." tried to say Y/N. "Except that you were wrong, you never really said it, because you're too proud."

"Exactly. I knew you would understand. I didn't want to hurt the kid, or anyone. It was a shock when I saw his dad get up and everything was fine. So I thought I could... We could... But no, it's still too risky. And I don't think she'll want to. But she could at least take care of her own safety ! Mierda ! I've already lost... Everyone I love die. I don't want this to happen to her. I'm tired, amor. So tired."

Since he hadn't said her name, Y/N wondered if he was still talking about her, because she found it hard to believe that Miguel O'Hara, big lonely cat, was talking about love, and especially the love he felt for her.

If she teased him so often and wanted to be close to him, it wasn't because she was sociable. It was for another reason that seemed ridiculous and stupid. Until now.

Without realizing it, she had started to purr again, clinging to his neck. That seemed to help him a bit, as Miguel stopped shaking, caressing her and muttering a few words in Spanish.

It worked, until Lyla came back.

"Uh... Boss ?"

"What ?" Miguel muttered, keeping his face in Y/N's fur.

"Uh... No one knows where Y/N is."

"... What ?"

"Her watch beeped here, but we can't track it. No trace of her, no one saw her. The anomaly she was supposed to capture was attached, but not brought back."

"No. No no no !"

This time the cat was forgotten, placed on the desk for Miguel to get up quickly and run around the building, not knowing that the person he was looking for had been on his lap for almost an hour. And Y/N had no way to make it clear to him, not having her powers to follow him, and Spidercat not being there to do the translation.

She wandered all the same in the corridors of the Spider society, crossing several spiders which caressed her all the head before continuing to seek her.

At the end of the day, they all gathered in the cafeteria, Miguel in the middle, mumbling, shaking, rubbing his eyes trying to stay calm.

"... No one found her ?"

"No." replied Peter B., touching his shoulder. "Gwen, Miles, Hobbie and Pav went to town. Jess and Ben looked into other dimensions. I searched the whole building with the others."

"... But her watch is there. The anomaly was captured and unconscious. If she... Where is she ? Peter, where is she ?!"

"Calm down, Miggie. Y/N is gifted, smart and strong. I'm sure she's fine."

"What if she's not fine ?!" Miguel shouted, baring his fangs. "If she's hurt, or worse ?! I shouldn't have sent her on a mission alone ! I should have..."

"Do you want to hold Mayday ? It would be nice if you held Mayday."

"I don't want to hold your baby, estúpido, I want to find Y/N ! Where's Y/N ?!"

"Meow."

All the spiders then looked at Y/N, who had sat by Miguel's feet and was staring at him, purring. At first they thought it was cute. Then they wondered how a cat had entered the building.

And then, Miguel the first, they understood.

"... Y/N ?"

Normally, Miguel would have been reassured, while completely panicked by realizing that he had said a lot of things to Y/N in passing that she was a cat, and he would have gone and locked himself in his office asking Jess to find a solution, unable to face the situation.

It was a surprise for Y/N to find herself back in his arms, the big cat hugging her tenderly, caressing her neck and holding back what looked like sobs.

"Amor, I believed... I believed... Never do that again."

Throughout all the examinations and searches for a solution, he held her against his chest, growling when someone tried to take her from him.

It didn't take long for Lyla to figure out how the anomaly had transformed Y/N, and how to return her to her normal form. It was then that Miguel went to hide in his office, refusing to see anyone. Especially Y/N.

The big shy cat was sulking again in his corner.

Luckily, thanks to Hobbie, Y/N knew how to get in without being spotted. Very useful for pranking and annoying the boss. Very useful also to force him to have a discussion about his feelings.

"Hi Mig !"

"… What do you want ? Give me your report on your last mission ?" he asked without turning around.

"Oh, that. Yes, why not ? So, I found the anomaly, I caught it, but they turned me into a cat, I ended up in the spider society where a big sulky cat took good care me, because he has a soft heart under his muscles, and he loves me very much."

Y/N smiled then, waiting for a reaction, but nothing. Miguel continued to stare at his screens, showing no sign of annoyance or anger. She then guessed the face he was making. She jumped on the platform, near him.

Contrary to what she had thought, he did not move. He didn't hide his moist eyes, his sad and broken expression. He stood there, waiting for her to laugh at him and tell him that he was stupid, that he had made another mistake, that he had no right to be happy, to have someone, because anyway as soon as he loved someone, that person was hurt.

"And I love that ridiculous big cat a lot too. Lyla has found a cure, I'm me again and hopefully the big cat will come out of his den to come and have a coffee with me at the cafeteria ?"

This time, Miguel turned a little towards her, looking lost.

"... End of the report ? Happy ? We did a great job, it really deserves a coffee."

"Y/N..."

"For real. Great teamwork. We'll have to do this again. Well, not the part where I'm transformed, nor the part where you're scared because you thinl that I'm dead, but the long talk about feelings, the hugs, the purrs. It was mostly me, but I'm pretty sure you were purring too at some point."

"Y/N."

"I understood what you were scared of, and I guess I was scared of the same thing, and that's why you're avoiding me, and I wasn't trying to be more than your friend, but actually..."

"If I say yes to coffee, will you stop talking so much ?"

"No. Maybe. I do talk when I'm drinking, but it's rare, and I'm a bit cold afterwards because my clothes are wet. It's difficult to talk and drink at the same time."

Miguel sighed, frowning at his eyes, as he often did, but Y/N saw that he was hiding a small smile behind his hand.

He agreed to follow her to the cafeteria, where he sat across from her to watch her drink her coffee and listen to her talk over and over. The other spiders were intrigued, because the boss never came to the cafeteria.

Peter B. took a photo, because according to him it was important to have memories of the first date.

"It's not a date." muttered Miguel.

"My heart is bleeding, Mig. Ouch. I thought we had something special."

"It's just a coffee. For our first date, we'll go to the best restaurant in Nueva York, not the tower."

"Aaaaw, Miggie."

"I have pictures of Miguel holding cat Y/N."

Letting Peter take pictures was obviously not a problem for Miguel. But when Miles had finished his sentence, he turned to the young spider, who didn't seem to see the problem.

"What ? That was so cute ! It looked like a cat daddy with his baby cat !"

"I agree. I have pictures too." Lyla said as she appeared near the kid. "A lot."

"... Erase them."

"Send them to me." said almost all the other spiders at the same time.

"Morales."

"It's sent !"

"Miguel, don't start chasing the kid again !" Peter shouted as he followed them down the halls.

Y/N let them, knowing that Miguel wouldn't hurt Miles. He was only furious that evidence of his vulnerable side existed, because like cats, he was proud and stupid. So she finished her coffee waiting for him to come back to shyly ask her when they could go on their real first date.

#across the spiderverse #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara fanfiction #miguel o'hara imagine

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lintubintu · 5 days

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Kot Kot Review

I like Kot Kot a lot.

Despite the almost harsh difference between the intro and how the song progresses, it´s not too out there.

The music seems chaotic and structured, is melodic, nostalgic and two-faced more out of necessity than provocation, and it´s ongoing. It spirals.

There is a lovely moodiness to it that seems mature and balanced, deliberately using the intro as a bridge again and repurposing the funky "kot kot" into something that softens into the lighter part of the song. The change of pace is noticeable but not alarming and almost hopeful.

Kot Kot is not a big song nor does it exist to troll. It enjoys being silly with the chicken theme and builds a narrative that can be purposely misunderstood by people who don´t like him.

During my first listen I was a little confused but intrigued by the seemingly contradicting parts that adapt well by the second listen. Pop and Rap evolve from clashing into shaking hands.

It feels a bit like a song nobody would put on an album anymore because it is deemed barely good enough to keep up with its fellow, more popular tunes. It stands on its own where others see a filler track.

Overall, it makes me have more hope for the album now; for it to be an album and not just a compilation of Singles.

I wouldn´t be surprised if this song was the opening number, nor would I be shocked to not find an Intro at all – Kot Kot is an introduction in itself.

From what I understand of the lyrics, it also is the first song of his that makes me want to know more about him as a lyricist.

To start the song of with MAYDAY is a deliberate choice because the song is not what it seems.

It´s soft spoken and not a shrill cry for help but knows of something that already affects the narrator enough that reaching out soon is imminent. It´s a literal stress signal.

The teaser made me think the protagonist in this song was simply sick of being treated like someone doomed to continue staging a party for others.

Relying on translations and interpretations of this song, the protagonist seems to realise that their lifestyle will rather leave them with very little time spent having fun with friends – because even the party-goers have gone to bed earlier than them.

Those that tried to keep up with them may have lost their step and had to give in to their own different schedules, or are worse off for keeping them company. So their company diminishes further.

There might be little life beyond the lifestyle, the sobering thought that solitude is too close within reach for comfort – the time left after work cannot always be shared nor of quality due to their schedule.

A double blow. Real life and bonding has to be spent in time confetti. Throughout it all, the silliness persists.

Rather laughable is the Explicit rating of this song. Was it the Perhana!?

The ending is a jumpscare, them finally being silly, breaking the cycle. But at the same time, it´s a rooster greeting the morning – the protagonist worked the night away.

For a moment, you are relieved the song is over. And then you play it again.

I would love for the upcoming album to be a concept album.

This song seems to divide people in a different way than songs before it did.

Some of you seem puzzled, others more neutral than hateful, none of the dislike so far is really loud.

The timing might be a bit unfortunate – song releases at this hour have the same problems as the protagonist in Kot Kot.

And even if you really don´t like this song, I fell that there will be something on the album that you will like.

It´s ok to not like things and it doesn´t have to be justified.

Still, I am interested to hear what you don´t like about this song because I think it makes for a worthwhile conversation and I like interacting with you.

Let´s do that while we have the time.

#käärijä #kaarija #kot kot #700 words #no idea why I wrote this much #if you know don´t tell me #I seem to like this song #I like Kot Kot a lot lot #let me know what you think #all typos are due to it being 4:30am and my eyes being drIer than modern-day European soil #btw did you hear me make the chicken sound in the end?#I´m also a bird #lintu out

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firsttimewriter92 · 1 year

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Heyo! I’ve requested this to a couple different writers just to see the way it differs and so far Im still waiting for them to respond, which is fine, but I was hoping I could at least request it to you as well :)

I have ADHD and other mental conditions and stuff and was wondering, if it doesn’t make you uncomfortable, that you could do the 141 + Konig where the reader (female) had ADHD and was super energetic and talkative the entire day and the boys were just stressed out from the long day or a bad mission and had said something hurtful to the reader, which caused them to either try and suppress their ADHD ticks or just talk less and become less energetic and social.

I’m a sucker for angst cuz I’m sad and lonely lol 🥹. If you could please do this or at least think about it that would be amazing, thanks 🫶🫶

Hello, my love. I LOVED your ask and gave it a shot. I hope you´ll forgive me that I only came up with something for Ghost, Price and König so far. Maybe I´ll do another part with Gaz and Soap.

As I don´t have ADHD or know anyone who does, I really hope I catured what it´s like as best as possible. Please let me know if there´s something wrong. Please enjoy and don´t feel lonely! There´s a whole community for CoD out there who welcome you with open arms! <3

Warnings: angst, panic, yelling, cursing, fluff, hurt/comfort

Words: 3.001

Ghost

You were just putting away the dishes from your dinner when you heard the front door open. Your heart lurched into your throat knowing who just came home. You bolted around the corner and there he was. The hulking figure of your boyfriend Simon. His frame took over most of the space of the short hallway as he moved to take off his jacket. You knew he needed a little time to adjust before he would be able to give you attention so you waited, though still hopping from one excited foot to the other quickly. Grinning wildly and lightly giggling.

You heard a long sigh coming from Simon and your heart sank a little. It must have been a draining mission. He lifted his head and his dark eyes looked at you wearily. You stopped hopping immediately and a cold, cold shiver ran over your back. You saw the haunted look in your boyfriends eyes and you didn’t know how to help him best right now. Then, to really spike your panic, you saw Simon shake his head and move backwards to the door. “I can´t deal with this tonight” was all he murmured before he turned and left your shared apartment, leaving you standing there with the most horrible feeling in your stomach.

Simon was at a loss. He was sitting in a quiet corner of his favourite Pub, sulking into his pint. The last mission almost cost him every single one of his team members. Johnny was still in hospital. He just couldn’t deal with bubbly, happy or hyper right now. At least that´s what he thought. His fist clenched around the glass when he tried to suppress his self-loathing. Wasn’t your talkative person and happy nature exactly what had enticed him in the first place? What was he doing? Instead of listening to you ramble about your day, about the newest plant you got or how much you enjoyed cooking this new dish, effectively draining all the bad thoughts from his mind, he was sitting alone in a Pub, still thinking about the horrors of the last couple of weeks.

He knew all you´d wanted to do a couple of hours ago was envelop him into your arms and making him feel home. A huge gash opened in his chest. Growling at himself he stood and left the Pub. He had to see you right now.

In your apartment you sat on the couch, trying to read one of your favourite books and not feel rejected by the one you loved. You really tried to understand why he left. Why he left you with these words hanging in the air. Where you really too much? You were just excited. Was that too much as well? You felt your eyes sting. The front door opened and your heart plummeted into your stomach.

He needed space, so you stayed seated and decided you wouldn’t bother him with your presence until he really wanted it. At the door, Simon waited for your hurried footsteps, craving your hug more than anything. But nothing came. No footsteps, no happy squeal, nothing. He knew he´d fucked up big time then.

As he walked into the living room and saw you sitting on the couch, his heart squeezed painfully when you wouldn’t look at him. He heard you sniffle and immediately went over to you. “I´m sorry, dove. I´m so, so sorry” he whispered when he sat down and immediately pulled your whimpering form onto his lap. You held onto his shirt and marvelled in his scent and warm, firm chest. Simon buried his head into your hair and still continued to apologise. “I stepped over the line when I said what I said, my love. I can deal with it! I need your bubbly self, especially now. I´m so sorry.” His big arms caged you in and slowly you came down. Warmth and love melted into your veins again as you spoke.

“If you need more space from me when you come back, just let me know before you come home. So I´m not a bother.” You heard a desperate sound crawling up his throat when he repositioned you to look into your eyes. His big hands were framing your face when he said in a choked up voice “No. No, don’t ever hide who you are from me. I´m the one who needs to work on this. You did nothing wrong.” He sighed. “I thought I couldn’t deal with it but the truth is, it made everything much worse. I need your adorable rambling when I come back so I don’t have to think about what happened. It just took me a while to realise and I´m incredibly sorry. I´ll do better, I promise. I love you.” You shook your head and lovingly stroked his face. “Just let me know exactly what you need and I´ll adjust. Just don’t push me away like that. I love you just as much.” He kissed your fingertips, your nose, your forehead and finally your lips. “Never again, love. I promise.” You smiled against his lips and kissed them again.

Cuddling on the couch for several minutes he could feel the words stuck on your tongue just dying to come out. “What is it?” he asked with a grin. You grinned back just as wide. “I bought a new plant” you said with a giggle. Simon sighed happily and nodded his head. “Of course you did” he said lovingly. “Go on then, show me.”

Price

John had been home for about three days now and was still on edge. He really tried not to let it show or not make you worried about him. He still had a lot of paperwork to fill out and visits to the base. You wanted him to feel as comfortable as possible so you decided to really scrub down the flat.

You were really proud of yourself when you finally came to the last room, John´s office. It smelled of leather, John and faint cigar smoke. Smiling fondly you looked at the clean and organised desk. John´s things always had a designated place to be, at least on his desk. Smiling giddily you took a picture frame into your hands. It showed John and you at one of Gaz´s barbeques. John had a beer bottle in hand, red cheeks and smiling so wide, his eyes were completely closed. The picture was made just as you´d jumped onto his back clumsily, almost making him fall. You were perched on his back, your arms thrown around his shoulders. John was leaning forward slightly but already had one hand securely and possessively on your thigh, holding you to him. At this very moment you felt so incredibly lucky to have met him.

John came back later that evening, just as you started preparing dinner. He looked exhausted and a little annoyed as he entered the kitchen and living space, smiling at you shortly and kissing your forehead. You hummed sweetly. “I cleaned the whole apartment today” you said grinning. John raised an eyebrow and looked around. His lips twitched. “You did good, love. Everything´s so orderly.” You knew how much he loved it when the lovely chaos you preferred living in was a little more controlled. You giggled and kissed his cheek. “Get washed up, dinner will be ready soon.” He gave you a grateful smile and nodded, leaving the kitchen.

Several minutes later you heard heavy footsteps stomping down the hallway. Curious you looked at the door just as John walked in. His shoulders were tense and his blue eyes blitzed dangerously and annoyed. “Did you clean my office as well?” he asked quickly, crossing his arms over his chest. You blinked. “Yes, why?” you asked. He shook his head and huffed. “Then I´m sure you can tell me where the bloody hell my work phone is!” You took a short step back when you heard him raise his voice that way. Slight panic settled into your chest. “Uhm” you said and tried to think if you saw his phone. “I´m not sure if…” “You´re not sure? Ok. I´m sure,___. It was on my desk when I left. You know how important that thing is? Where did you put it?” Your head was reeling when you really tried to think if you removed the phone from his desk. “I-I don’t remember” you said breathlessly. John groaned.

“You know, what good is it that you finally clean up your clutter if you remove the things that I actually need?”

Immediately after he closed his mouth he saw you fall into yourself. Your shoulders sagged, your whole face showed panic and bewilderment. Worst of all however was the moment he saw all the light vanish from your eyes. He knew instantly he made a huge mistake. Yes, he was annoyed, but it wasn’t like the phone was gone forever. The both of you just had to find it. When you turned around he knew you didn’t want him to see you like that. He felt terrible. You´d put up with his demeanour for the last couple of days and the first inconvenience made him explode like that. He heard you sniffle.

“___” he said in a small voice, walking over to you. “___, love, I´m sorry. That wasn’t fair of me to say. It´s just a phone. We´ll find it.” He saw you nod but you didn’t turn around. “Baby” he tried again. This time you did turn around and his heart almost gave out. Your eyes were brimming with tears but they looked at him with no emotion at all. Your mouth was a straight line and your jaw was set. “You know I have trouble remembering things. You know that keeping up with one task at the time is basically impossible for me.” He nodded and hung his head. “I know” he said slowly. You huffed. “I´m sorry. I´ll find your phone as soon as dinner is ready.”

John shook his head, walked over and turned off the stove. You looked at him curiously. He grabbed your hand and led you over to the sofa. He urged you to sit down and the moment you did, he knelt on the floor in front of you and touched his forehead to your knees. He breathed you in for several moments before lifting his head. “I really should learn how to prioritise things better. I know how to keep everything orderly and all that but…now it´s not only me and my job. Now it´s also you and me. I sometimes forget about that, my love and I am sorry.”

You looked down at him and felt your anger, embarrassment and shame slowly fade. You nodded weakly. “My sweet girl” he whispered and held you face in his palms. “I really appreciate that you did this. That you put up with me as well. I know I haven’t been very communicative with you.” You lightly shrugged and he shook his head. “You can´t just let me get away with these things, my love. Please. I know it´s hard for you, but you can hold me accountable for what I´m doing or saying.”

“Okey” you said and breathed in deep. “You´re right. What you said was absolutely uncalled for. It hurt and embarrassed me. I´m not proud of the way I let things go sometimes. It takes an immense amount of effort to even come to the point of wanting to organise and clean stuff.” John stroked his thumbs lovingly over your cheeks. “And I´m sorry about your phone, John. I promise, I´ll help you find it.” He sighed deeply and pulled your head towards him. Hesitating for a moment to see your reaction, you smiled at him and leaned down more to kiss him. A relieved breath escaped his nose when he kissed you back right away. You detached from him again and with pure joy he saw the light back in your eyes.

“Let´s have dinner and then we´ll look for your phone, yeah?” you asked. He nodded immediately and helped you stand again. He pulled you close by the waist and peppered your face with little kisses until you giggled and tried to wriggle out of his hold.

“Can I help?” he asked. You nodded and gestured towards the fridge. “Could you please get the meatballs out?” John nodded and opened the fridge. Stunned, he stood in front of it for a bit too long. You looked over to him questioningly. “John? What is it? The meatballs are right there.”

He nodded slowly and then his shoulders started to shake with laughter. “What?” you asked perplexed.

John, still giggling, closed the fridge with the platter of meatballs in one hand and his work phone in the other. Your eyes went round and a blush crept up your neck and up to your cheeks. “Oh, Jesus…”

Both of you started laughing again and John went over to you and held you in his strong arms until you both stopped, short of breath. He leaned his head against yours and very softly said “I love you so much.”

König

Laughing hysterically at one of Soap´s jokes you clutched König´s arm next to you and buried your head in his shoulder. The latest mission was over and the 141 decided to wind down at one of the local pubs. König had asked you to join them and shortly after you walked into the pub and jumped into your lovers arms without hesitation. He lifted you up and swung you from side to side before holding your face gently and kissing you long and hard. The whoops and hollers from Gaz and Johnny were ignored by the two of you. You were just happy to be with each other again.

Your happiness bubbled through every pore in your body, the alcohol in your system making you relaxed and buzzing. You´d bantered with Soap the whole evening. The music and over all volume of the pub forced you to raise your voice once in a while. No one seemed to care though.

With a light kiss to König´s cheek you excused yourself to the bathroom and stumbled over to the little door. König watched your with fond eyes, his heart swelling by the minute. Soaps elbow connecting with his ribs and he gave him a sly wink. “So, when´re you goin´ to ask the lass ta marry your arse?” he asked. König´s face lit up immediately. He grinned shily. “I do have the ring already but…I´m really not sure when I should ask.” Johnny nodded. “Best not wait too long my friend” he said wisely. “Yer not the only one noticin´ her. She surely knows how to present herself.” He winked at König.

König´s eyes had a soft look in them. “Yeah, I know.” He said and sighed deeply. “She´s a LOT!”

Just as he said it, he felt your presence next to him and smiled up at you. Said smile vanished immediately when he saw the hurt on your face. He was a bit bewildered as to why you looked at him like her whole world just collapsed. Without saying anything you turned around and stormed towards the doors. “___!” he yelled and scrambled from his seat in the booth going after you.

Outside he looked left and right quickly and spotted you walking briskly away from the venue to his right. He started running and thanks to his long legs it didn’t take him much time to catch up with you. The moment he reached out for your arm and you whipped around shaking it off, his heart broke into a million pieces. Tears were streaming down your face and deep, deep hurt was still edged onto your features. “Liebling, what-?” “I´m a lot, huh? König, do you have any idea how embarrassing that was? You making fun of me in front of our friends?” You hiccupped and wiped your face with your sleeve.

König´s heart began to hammer in his chest. “Making fun of you? I didn´t. How could I make fun of you?” He started hyperventilating a little when you flinched away from his touch yet again. “What´d I do?” he asked in a panicked voice. You huffed disbelievingly. “You said I was a lot to handle, König. That´s so…rude. You know I can´t control how loud I am sometimes.” König´s eyes went wide.

“A lot to handle….” He whispered desperately. “No. No, Liebling, that´s not what I meant at all!” You gave him a questioning look. “I´d never say something like that about you.”

“Then what did you mean? König, saying someone is a lot, is quite-“

“A lot of perfect!! You´re…you´re perfect” he almost yelled at you, desperate to bring his point across. “I sometimes don’t really know the words to express what I´m trying to say but, mein Schatz….I´d never willingly hurt you or try to put you down like that.”

A feeling of shame overcame you. Here was this wonderful, soft man just trying to get through the day as best he can. You should´ve considered that English wasn’t his first language.

“König” you said breathily and reached out your hand which he immediately took. “I´m sorry. I should´ve talked to you first but…you know, being a bother or too much….it´s just one of the things that make me very insecure.” König lifted your hand to his lips immediately and you could have cried again by the way he so gently kissed your knuckles.

“You´re not too loud, or too talkative, or too forward. You´re too much…you! Sometimes I don´t know how to tell people that I would literally kill for you. That I would do anything to make you happy!”

Your arms wined themselves around his neck as you pulled him down for a passionate kiss. “I love you, König” you said against his mouth. “I´m sorry I stormed out like that.” He shook his head and brushed his nose with yours. “I love you too, my love. So much.” You grinned and hugged him again, having to stand on your tiptoes to do so. He pressed another kiss to your forehead. “Will you come back inside? The evening is still young” he asked. You nodded immediately and took his large hand in yours.

König´s heart raced and he knew exactly what to do to erase every single doubt from your mind. As he guided you back to the pub, his other hand that wasn´t holding yours gently thumbed at the locket around his neck, containing the ring he wanted to give you since day one.

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Thank you so much for reading. Please let me know in the comments what you think about this take. A like and reblog is of course always appreciated <3

Love you and stay safe!

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