#like thats not my fault and do you have any idea how devastating it is making me get up even earlier

[radmista]

We're really in it now, the combo of stress sleep deprivation and period are working against me, almost cried when the barista said good morning 😭😭 like it sure is a morning

#nearly passed out at the stables today 🤙 love it when my group decides to make us meet 45 min earlier than the assigned time #bc they're idiots who didnt plan accordingly to not have 3 animals to check in on before the test dau #like thats not my fault and do you have any idea how devastating it is making me get up even earlier #yeah getting up early for everyone sucks but idk how to put this without sounding exceedingly whiny #but getting up early is like having the worst period cramps sort of emotional and physical toll on me #ask me to stay up all night or do an exceedindly long overnight I can do that. night owl for real #i dont struggle doing that. ask me to get up at 5am ON MY EXAM DAY bc YOU fucked up your schedule. #after making me show up 30 min before the scheduled time all week #im so mad. the entire week ive pandered to their schedule bc their obnoxious 'if ur not early ur late' like fuck all the way off #im trying so hard and my studies have greatly suffered from the sheer exhaustion of this bs #screams

[marunalu]

Hi! MHA 406 is almost bad for my taste because of Bakugou. But One thing!

AFO facial expression!!! Please analyze this!!! Please!!!

From now on I will just ignore EVERYTHING related to bakugou because it makes no sense any longer to get angry about it. Bakugou is horis pet character and the only character who truly matters to him. At this point bakugou is just the most horrible written gary stu character in shonen history and its clear that hori doesnt care about how shitty his writing of him is. Most of the mha fandom kisses bakugous ass anyway so the horrible writing about bakugous fake "death", his even more horrible written resurrecction and now in this chapter bakugous pain somehow making him able to create bigger explosions and making him faster just shows that hori can write whatever he wants about bakugou and the fandom will still eat this shit out of his hands! Like... I dont care anymore. So I will just do my best and from now on ignore this character as good as I can. If it will be suscessful is the other question, because horis writing of bakugou is just SO bad 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Anyway lets look at the actuall only intetesting part in this chapter. FINALLY we get a little bit more of afos and yoichis backstory and FINALLY we know 2ths name, because I was sick of calling him 2th all the time. My question is now is kudou his first or his last name? Because I think it would be weird if afo calls him by his first name. The only way this would make sense is if kudou once worked for afo and they were friends. Also interesting that we get 2ths name reveal before 3ths 🤔

Now I have the hope that we will soon get a little flashback "arc" or at least a few chapters dedicated about afos and yoichis past. Now about afos expression. Well LOOK AT MY MAN!!!

I LOVE how vulnerable he looks here. And its a smart move of hori to only show afos eyes (which for once dont look dead) again while the rest is in shadows. He doesnt want to reveal yet the utter despair on afos face when he realizes that his brother is DEAD! But you can clearly see in the way afos eyes and eyebrows are drawn how devasted he is. He is crying! To see the great demon lord and most dangerous super villain who ever lived with such an human expression is actually quite heartbreaking. It shows and confirms that deep down his demon lord facade is simply just a mask to hide his own human heart! Its nothing but an act to look strong and untouchable, so nobody could hurt him! Hori is showing us that, yes, this horrible bastard who did so many evil things to others is still a human deep down with feelings and emotional pain and who actually suffers. Thats how hori writes his villains and to me it was always pretty obvious that he would go the same route with his main villain. Afos demon lord facade is nothing but a coping mechanism to excuss his own evil actions and trying to distance himself from his own humanity.

This chapter confirms without a doubt HOW MUCH afo loved his brother. His only family! And the most interesting part is that afo wasnt even aware that HE killed yoichi. He was SEARCHING for him. He believed him to be ALIVE! Its his enemy who gives him the news that he murdered his own brother, but afo seems to be completly taken by surprise by this! There is just no way that afo actually REALLY tried to kill yoichi with full intent and backs up my theory that yoichis death was an accident or that yoichi sacreficed himself for someone else afo wanted to kill (like kudou and 3th) and then kudou took an injured yoichi to an other place where he died shortly after. Afo believed yoichi to be fine, he had NO IDEA his brother was dead! And it explains so much why afo is so obsessed with the ofa quirk. Its his only way to get yoichi back. The only thing that is left of him. His only way to make amends with yoichi and MAYBE even telling him that he is sorry for what he did!

He clearly still believes everything is kudous fault (what he is telling himself) like I mentioned already a few times in other posts. Kudou freed yoichi from the vault, filled his head with even more heroic ideas which in return made yoichi eventually even more reckless and putting himself in harms way. In yoichis eyes kudou and 3th are his heroes. What is the opposite of the hero? The villain! Lets remember that afo never called himself a villain while yoichi was still alive and even tried to put the blame on his followers when they did something horrible to others ("they did it on their own. I never told them to do it.") He was trying to keep his hands clean. But now Afo WANTS to be a villain, because in his mind its the heroes fault that his brother is dead! And maybe its not just that he wants to be a villain, but also that he believes he cant go back anymore. He crossed the line with yoichis death so to speak. He lost the only person that mattered to him. Why should he care for anyone else now? The world took everything away from him and thats the reason why he wants to destroy everyones happiness and future in return.

And if dfo is canon it could mean that inko and izuku were the first thing after 200 years afo cared about or even loved and saw as his last chance to leave his villain life behind him (him mentioning that he wants to retire). But then all might happend and izuku got ofa. Now there is most likely really no going back anymore.

#bnha #bnha spoiler #bnha all for one #bnha dad for one #yoichi shigaraki #kudou 2th ofa user #anti bakugou

[faux-ee]

I posted 3,543 times in 2022

That's 2,736 more posts than 2021!

737 posts created (21%)

2,806 posts reblogged (79%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@kyouka-supremacy

@colourofthekites

@grishaverse-chaos

@chenechen

@akhlys-san

I tagged 1,669 of my posts in 2022

#fyolai - 51 posts

#dabihawks - 50 posts

#bsd - 33 posts

#bungo stray dogs - 19 posts

#personal - 18 posts

#spotify - 17 posts

#asks <3 - 16 posts

#bkdk - 14 posts

#soukoku - 13 posts

#sskk - 13 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#it was so unfeeling and repetitive and like. sir. i can’t relate to ur experiences and u aren’t doing a very good job making me care abt it

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

bungo stray dogs is a piece of media thats so filled with tumblr energy. Its like a collective mass hallucination of famous author fanfiction with just the right amount of derangedness, mental illness, generational trauma and existential crisis. Each and every character gives major gender envy. Everything is enemies to lovers to enemies to freinds to lovers to enemies. Everything the characters do is high-key illegal and everyone agrees that old guys in the government r useless except for this one triple spy who's sleep deprived to a fault. There is a guy who is chronically online and absolutely cannot leave his futon. There's another guy who could write novels in days and is more attached to a racoon than the rest of the world. bram stoker listens to spotify. bsd is the true tumblr-esque media.

Edit: and as it often appears bsd characters become each other's blorbos. They wanna hug each other they wanna see them going through the undying pain of human existence they spin them around in a mental microwave or smth

Edit edit: also tumblrinas love literary analysis and bsd is full of literary motifs

420 notes - Posted December 4, 2022

#4

ranpoe actually foils fyolai bcs when poe had his mind set on killing ranpo he had a moment of realization that he wouldn't know how to live in a world w/o him, and several chapters after he became besties w/ ranpo, but nikolai already knows that fyodor is his intimate friend, there will never be another person like fyodor for him, yet still decided to kill him, bcs he "wants freedom more than any kind of joy"

434 notes - Posted June 29, 2022

#3

Kacchan is the only thing Izuku allows himself to have

and it's why Izuku’s always vague when it came to the intensity of his feelings about Kacchan & why Katsuki at first instinctively pushed Izuku away. 

idk if anyone has done this before, but anyways here's my fav aspect abt BakuDeku's relationship: Izuku's possessiveness over Kacchan and Kacchan only.

So I've been thinking abt Kamino a lot, and specifically two scenes: a) Izuku shouting "Give him back to me!" to Mr. Compress, and b) Izuku's devastated scream after Bakugo was taken away.

Izuku is an extremely selfless person, with only the heart for "saving people". That was part of the reason why he was almost immune to Katsuki's bad attitude towards him: dude doesn't think about himself a whole lot, alright. He's just kind of out of it. An observer. He wants to focus on his own feelings much less than he cares about others.

When have you seen Izuku do something for himself? Sure, he wanted to become a hero, he wrote 13 notebooks' worth of hero analyses. But this may as well only be an exertion of his obsession abt quirks & strategies, because despite all the talk about his dream, he never actually thought to exercise and improve his body strength before he got the OFA.

Here's an idea: Izuku doesn't know how to do things for himself, unless given a larger purpose. He takes little care of his own ambition before taking the world's weight onto his shoulders.

And he is subconsciously avoiding any selfish thinking, especially any private feelings he has about Kacchan, platonic or otherwise. 

He doesn't know what has triggered the blackwhip; can't remember what Kacchan told him before almost sacrificing himself to save him; doesn't remember whatever made him go berserk in battle. He acted like none of this emotional turmoil he experienced happened at all and went back to being this people-saving, smiling sunshine every. single. time. Even after Kamino, his first thought was Kouta, except that after Todoroki mentioned Katsuki, the light returned to his eyes and he finally broke down. 

Izuku actively avoids thinking about anything that causes strong emotions to erupt in him, yes, but more importantly, even when he is recounting these experiences to others, he omits whatever part that concerns Kacchan (i.e. when he told his classmates “I couldn’t save what was in front of me” - right, but Izuku, why are you describing Kacchan as if he is just anyone else instead of the person you have looked up to for all your life?)

He doesn’t allow himself to be selfish, to be partial, to treat Kacchan as somone special even when that’s what he does (notice how he’s always going like “Kacchan and the others”). 

Let’s look at what he said to Mr. Compress again: “Give him back to me!”

Didn’t he almost sound like a child who was robbed of his favorite toy? 

Why would he feel such possessiveness over Kacchan, though? 

Kacchan is Izuku’s Symbol of Victory, right? Izuku follows him, admires him, idolizes him (”closer to me than All Might, this amazing person in my life”). Here it is: Kacchan has been somewhat of an idol to Izuku, the incarnation of victory. 

Kacchan was part of Izuku’s definition of heroism; and heroism, to Izuku, is almost like a religious belief. He draws strength from it, uses it to cope with the pain of being quirkless, and admires All Might as one might do any deity. 

I’m going to go a little further here: when one prays to whatever deity one believes in, one is often praying to this concept inside one’s head, and taking what one needs from this private connection. Similarly, Izuku feels possessive over Kacchan because the latter to him is something of a god-like character, from the attachment to whom Izuku draws his desire to win. To Izuku, Kacchan is not just the Symbol of Victory. It’s his Symbol of Victory. 

Katsuki is his. His sun, his god, his drive to win. 

Izuku, who is so selfless that he rarely wants things for himself, doesn’t want to acknowledge that he can, in fact, be a little selfish when it comes to Kacchan. 

Meanwhile, as Mr. Compress had stated, Bakugo doesn't belong to anybody. And with such a big ego Bakugo would hate to be anything but independent. Something about Izuku made him want to keep his childhood friend at arm's length; he felt as if Izuku was stronger than him, looking down on him - and where does he get this feeling? Because Izuku offered to help him once at four? Stood up to him a couple of times?

There is another dimension to it, I think: it was also because Izuku had always followed him. And Katsuki, being the kind to always over-think, could mistake Izuku's possessiveness for Izuku seeing himself above him.

If an independent person ever finds himself on the receiving end of such possessiveness, he would feel chained, scared, and pissed off. Don't come, Deku, I don't want anything to do with you because the way you stick with me as if I belong to you, it almost chains me down. 

Thanks for bearing with my shipping brainrot xD

445 notes - Posted April 8, 2022

#2

B-B-Boyfriend? Like a guy who your body moved on its own for when he was in danger? Who you've grown up with? Activated a whole new quirk for?

550 notes - Posted March 19, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

being invested in bsd is such a unique experience bcs u watch the anime and think oh theres mafia and detectives and terrorists this shit's so hardcore and then u open bsd wan and they r kindergarteners and magical girls and princesses and ur just like. look at my cute little uwus <3 and then u read the manga and was hit with like three different schools of philosophical thoughts and suddenly become interested in classical novels with rlly deep themes and start to develop an existential crisis. its like yeah i watched an anime abt super powers and it all went downhill from there lol

993 notes - Posted June 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

HI i just wanted to say that i really enjoy your twilight metas (as those are the only ones ive read so far) and you're a genius. it's awesome to me how realistically you think about characters and the plot, which i have never been able to do because i always get confused. thank you especially for your post about jacob and how the fandom treats him bc ive always had mixed feelings! i love him (the fanon/new moon him ofc) but i also felt rly weird about the whole SA thing, especially as a brown boy thats been villainized (i didnt SA anyone i just realized how that sounds) i understood that it had racist roots but it still...happened, yk? anyways u put it beautifully and its alot easier to understand how i feel about him now. also like everything else u post about!! i despise the cullens w my every being but its so entertaining to see their dynamic and actions laid out. mostly bc it solidifies my hatred but anyways. they also kind of change my views on other characters, like i always kinda liked bella (i dont like alot of things she does but alot of the fan content i see on her made her feel rly relatable) and its rly interesting to see that she would be a kind of absent parent, bc id never considered it like that and it makes so much sense and woah. u have so much evidence to back up ur theories and opinions too--i tend to get lost in fanon but i dont rly do that w ur posts! even ones where ur spitballing its just muah chefs kiss i love. i write alot of self fulfilling fanfiction and tbh it does not feel the same when the characters r too ooc and ur posts have helped a fuck ton! ur super cool and i love ur stuff keep going :)

i do have some questions tho u dont have to acknowledge it at all and ik you tend to focus more on the cullens, but what do you think the wolf pack is like now that jacob, leah, and seth have left, and now that they have so many new members? do you think any other girls would have shifted and how would they be treated? ik leah was kind of alienated in canon not only bc shes a girl but also bc of her feelings, and i cant tell if the pack would be wary of her/treat her the same as leah, or if they would have learned their lesson.

have a good day!

Well first, thank you, I'm very flattered. I'm going to go ahead and acknowledge @therealvinelle here as well as she's I believe the one who originally posted the post about the very complicated topic of Jacob Black and his terrible choices throughout the series.

As for your questions there are a few pack questions in my inbox but it's mostly a matter that people keep asking questions about Bella and she keeps getting eaten.

Also, I'm not sure you want me answering these questions. Like all of Twilight, it's a bleak pit of despair.

But here we go

What About the Pack/Tribe After Breaking Dawn

There's a lot of shit going on in the tribe right now. Jacob leaving is just part of it.

They have an unprecedented number of shifters in the community and that's going to spell... a lot of issues in the years to come.

Namely, per Sam and Emily, domestic violence will be through the roof and kept very hushed up for the understandable reason of these people look like they were mauled by bears. This will also likely increase the number of deaths in the tribe, especially among those who are young. Accidents happen, it's not good, this is going to have a devastating impact on the people.

You also have a lot of angry, disaffected, young men who can no longer really be a part of society. They can't really attend school, can't even really leave the reservation for fear of turning into a wolf, they can't hold a job, at the age of nineteen or younger they each had their futures ripped away from them.

Some, Seth, handle this very well (possibly because he hasn't clued into what this means yet), others like Jake... do not. These people have had their lives turned upside down and in some cases utterly ruined: that's not good in any society.

Then you have the imprinting, lord, the imprinting.

To date, there's the Sam, Emily, and Leah disaster. The three of them handled it very well, but it still utterly destroyed Leah's life and emotional stability. Not helping, of course, is that Leah has had her very identity taken from her, has no privacy, and her only option of escape is to follow Jacob around which... we'll get to in a few paragraphs.

Added to that, you have the Claire/Quil disaster, in which the tribe is desperately trying to handle it by a) keeping it very quiet b) trying to make Quil just be the babysitter. That's unlikely to work out for them and is just angstfest all around and no one's fault.

And then, of course, Jacob/Renesmee. Jacob, having now imprinted, will follow Renesmee to the ends of the earth. He has no other purpose now. Which means that Leah and Seth, who are in his pack, get to follow along and uproot their lives. For the tribe this means they'll never be rid of the Cullens, not truly, and Billy has lost his son entirely. Not to mention it's guaranteed to go awful places.

Then you have the paternity questions this whole thing drudges up, the trauma of these children having to be sacred warriors and having slaughtered demons with human faces, many of whom were also once children and more.

The tribe and the pack are a goddamn mess.

Jacob imprinting on the Cullen hybrid daughter and leaving the tribe? Yeah, it's weird and no one likes it, but that isn't even the peak of the nonsense these people have to deal with.

Would the Other Girls Shift?

No.

Leah seems to have won the genetic shitty lottery. In 600 years of shifting, there has never been another woman, and Leah has all shifting bloodlines in her veins.

It seems Leah was just very unlucky.

Were other girls to shift I imagine they'd face much the same situation. Suddenly teenage boys are witnessing them naked, all the time, they have no choice to become sacred warriors (a role not typically meant for women and which will very much feel like 'the boy's club') and I don't get the idea that anyone learned anything from Leah.

Jake certainly didn't, he just thought she was Uber Bitch until she begged him to let her in his new pack and reminded him she was a human being with feelings.

The concept genuinely had not occurred to him.

TL;DR Remember kids, Twilight is despair

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #twilight quileute #sam uley #emily young #leah clearwater #seth clearwater #jacob black #meta #headcanon #opinion

[suite43]

"Prowl?" A familiar voice pulled Prowl from his... well, from his moping. He didn't like that word, but there wasn't really a better one to describe sitting in a ball in the corner of his cell, ruminating in how downright miserable he was.

"Hook?" he glanced up, seeing a crowd of familiar purple and green plating on the other side of the bars, in the next cell over, five sets of eyes looking at him expectantly. "Why are you here? What happened to your new boss?"

"Are you kiddin’?" Mixmaster laughed. "Starscream's a fuckin' glitch-head! We ain't working for him, no way, no how."

"Not to mention Scoop," Scavenger said.

"Ugh, don't even get me started on that guy," Long Haul rolled his eyes. "Chosen one this, chosen one that, I mean, the guy's freakin' obsessed with Starscream. It's horrible!"

"Yeah! Scoop sucks," Bonecrusher agreed. "We miss you, boss."

As much as he loathed to admit it, Prowl missed them deeply. Perhaps it was just something to do with how isolated he'd been, but as loud and rowdy and overenthusiastic and prone to violence his gestalt was, they were still his gestalt.

"Yeah... Okay," was all Prowl could manage, dragging himself to his feet and across the cell.

"Yikes," Hook muttered as Prowl stepped closer, more visible in the dim light. "How's the eye?"

"It's the least of my problems right now," Prowl shrugged halfheartedly, changing the subject before he could think about it too much. "How is it that you can hate Scoop so much? I thought gestalts were a bond thing."

"They are, that's the whole problem," Scavenger said. "You can force somebody to combine, but you can't force 'em to bond. Scoop sucks, so it's not like we want to bond with him, and, anyways, we already have a head and it's you. We like you. We chose to bond with you, remember?"

"Hm. I suppose that explains... a few things," he said with a sigh. "I guess I just assumed it was a given."

"Not really. Like, uh, you combined with some other people too, but you probably didn't bond with them too much," Scavenger shrugged.

"Oh, right, you combined with all those autobots, huh? How, uh... what was that like?" Bonecrusher asked.

"It's..." Prowl paused for a moment, trying to organize his thoughts into something presentable, then sighed. He was sitting in a jail cell with no friends, barely any real allies, no advantages whatsoever, and no idea what to do next. Why bother putting up a wall? What else did he have to lose? "It was horrible. I know I'm not popular. I have no illusions about that. But it's one thing to know you're disliked, and another to be able to feel the way that they hate you. Especially coming from people that I... considered friends. Against my better judgement."

Prowl fell silent again. If anyone would understand, it would be his gestalt. They knew how exceptionally vulnerable it was to become so totally immersed with other people. It was part of why Prowl had hated it so much, at first. It was difficult enough to be forced into being vulnerable when he had been met with the Constructicons unwavering, unconditional support. To be forced into that vulnerability again, only to be rejected, hated, and thoroughly condemned by people he'd once trusted, respected, and even liked? It was the most uniquely devastating thing Prowl had ever felt.

Prowl did not enjoy uncertainty. His entire lifes work had been in pursuit of control, of understanding, of stability. But these miserable past few years had flipped everything upside down. He'd never felt more lost. He barely even knew who he was anymore.

He was once again pulled from his spiral by a voice calling his name as a hand reached through the bars, taking his gently. His vision was blurry, and he couldn't see whose it was, but it didn't really matter. His head hurt and everything was overwhelming and angry and he wanted to hate them for what they did and push them away, he wanted them to hate him because he didn't deserve this, and he wanted to apologize for everything he'd ever done, and he wanted to be held, and he wanted to cry. He wouldn't cry, because he was Prowl, and Prowl did not cry. But for a minute he wanted to be somebody else, somebody smaller and weaker and irrational, so he could cry and cry until everything felt less heavy. But he wasn't, so he couldn't, so he didn't.

"Hey, fuck those guys, right?" Bonecrusher said, after a minute. "If they don't like you, thats their loss. S'not your fault they can't see how incredible you are."

"Yeah, more for us," Scavenger said, his hand reaching out through the bars too, taking Prowl's empty hand with a reassuring squeeze. "For whatever it's worth, we think you're pretty great."

The other constructicons began to pipe up their quiet, clumsy affirmations too, all reaching out for him wherever they could, and he found himself leaning into the touch, pressed as far against the cell bars as he could get, wanting so badly just to be wrapped up in their inarticulate, messy, unconditional love.

"We're always gonna be here, Prowl, no matter what," Hook said, and, for the first time, Prowl really did believe it. Even now, when he felt as though he was entirely made of doubt and confusion, he had this. This was certainty. This was what he needed.

#red.doc #having a think abt prowl today. take this! hiya #prowl #the constructicons

[itsthewritergal]

Impulsive Decisions - G.W x reader

Y/N was devastated, completely and utterly distraught. Her boyfriend had dumped her for her best friend, she had been fired from her job and evicted from her apartment all in one week. Fred and George had been by her side the entire time, which was why she was currently staying with them at the Burrow. She sat crossed legged on the bed, with Fred flicking through some magazines Ginny and given her.

“What are you two doing?” George asked coming into the room, having closed the shop for the day

“Looking” Fred said quietly as Y/N turned the page

“Looking at what?” George asked

“Tattoos” Y/N grinned happily, George’s eyes widened in shock and his mouth dropped

“What do you mean tattoos?” He asked with a concerned tone

“I’m going to get one” She said her eyes shining mischievously “He hated tattoos” she explained to George, who shook his head in disbelief

“this is a bad idea Y/N” George said firmly “You have to feel these feelings first, don’t act on your impulses” He added

“Heartbreak makeovers are the best medicine” Y/N said holding up the magazine and pointed to those exact words on the cover

“No Y/N” George said crossing his arms

“Why not?” Fred challenged with a smirk

“Yeah George Why not?” Y/N butted in quickly, George raised an eyebrow at the both of them

“You’ll regret it Y/N, you know you will” George said, he knew Y/N better than anyone, once she came to her senses she would hate a tattoo

“I want one” She argued

“Do you actually want one or do you just want to get back at him?” He asked sitting himself down on the bed “You’ve got to let yourself hurt love” He said placing a comforting hand on her back

“But I want to be impulsive” She wined “I want to get a tattoo” she nodded to herself,

——-

“Fred and George have loved having you stay with us” Ginny grinned as they walked down the cobbled street

“I’ve loved staying with you all” Y/N answered honestly with a smile

“George especially” Ginny grinned wiggling her eyebrows at Y/N

“Oh don’t start that!” Y/N giggled “I don’t think I can handle that tod-”

“Y/N” She was cut off by a voice behind them, Y/N turned around to find her best friend and ex hand in hand walking up to them

“Oh god” Y/N said feeling the tears brimming up to her eyes

“How have you been?” Her friend asked eyeing her up and down

“You two look happy” Ginny snapped rudely at Y/N’s friend

“Oh we are!” She grinned back “Just about to get some lunch”

“You’ve got some nerve acting like that” Ginny added with a scowl

“Y/N we were wondering if you wanted to join us, You know it would be great to still be friends. All three of us” She smiled

“I can’t” Y/N whispered turning to Ginny

“Get the hell out of here, don’t even think of speaking to Y/N again” Ginny snapped pulling Y/N away in the direction of the twins shop.

Ginny burst through the door, drawing both Fred and George away from what they were doing, as she paced around angrily muttering to herself.

“Who the hell do they think they are, do they have no morales. Coming around here when they knew we were going to be here” She snapped

“What is going on?” Fred asked slowing her down “Y/N’s ex and her best friend, they just asked if Y/N wanted to go for lunch with them because they still want to be friends” Ginny growled, George turned his attention immediately towards Y/N who stood shaking in the doorway of the shop, tears threatening to fall at any moment. He rushed towards her, pulling her in tightly to his chest.

Y/N sobbed into his chest, pulling him closer to her. He was the only one who she would let comfort her when she felt like this. “It hurts Georgie” She cried quietly

“I know it does my love” He said kissing the top of her head. “Fred close the shop, lets just get home” He said quietly, his arms never leaving her.

—-

It had been a few days since Y/N was at Diagon Ally, Fred was sitting with her at the kitchen table. George had offered to do the shop, since Fred had done the past few days alone so that George could be with Y/N.

“I’ve got an idea” Fred grinned mischievously at Y/N

——

“George just before you come in, I need to talk to you” Ginny said pulling George away from the door to the twins room

“What’s going on?” He asked quickly panic rising in his stomach that something had happened to Y/N

“Just remember how much you love Y/N despite her bad decisions” Ginny said knocking on the door

“Who is it?” Fred asked from the other side

“George is here” Ginny called back

“What’s going on?” George called through the door

“You can’t be mad” Y/N called, her voice wavered slightly

“What do you mean?” he replied confused

“You left me with Fred so technically this is his fault as well” She said,

“Hey!” Fred shouted loudly

“It was your idea!” Y/N argued with him

“You agreed to it!” Fred replied with a chuckle

“I’m coming in” George snapped bursting through the door.

“Hey brother” Fred grinned, Y/N stood out of George’s view, right behind Fred

“What’s going on?” George asked

“Hey Georgie” Y/N said stepping out from behind Fred, her once long blond hair, was now styled into a long bob and  died a dark ginger. She looked up at George, a look of fear flashed across her face, as George stood still, not once moving. “I know you told me not to do anything impulsive, but you left me with Fred and we were just looking and then we went to the salon and then this happened and I love it but if you don’t thats ok, because hair grows right? So”

“Y/N” George cut her off taking a few steps towards her, She looked up at him with a shy smile

“You hate it, don't you?” She said moving away from him as he bore no expression on his face

“Y/N” George said once again, not noticing that both Fred and Ginny were standing watching everything happen, he reached out a hand and tangled his fingers in her hair. Y/N relaxed into his touch.

“Do you hate it?” Y/N asked quietly

“I think this is the best impulsive decision you have ever made” George said with a grin

——

“So what do you honestly think?” Fred asked as him and George sat alone at the kitchen table, both with mugs of tea

“Of what?” George asked lifting his head from the order list in front of him

“Y/N’s new look” Fred grinned

“She looks stunning” George answered honestly, knowing that his twin knew about his feelings towards their best friend “I mean she always looks stunning, but my god” he breathed

“You finally going to tell her then?” Fred asked with a smirk

“She’s heartbroken” George said “It wouldn’t be fair to tell her just yet”

“Tell me what?” Y/N asked making her way down the stairs

“Nothing” George said quickly

“Tell me” she demanded

“Oh it’s just George and his feelings” Fred teased slightly

“Fred!” George snapped cutting him off

“Feelings?” Y/N said hopefully

“Fred can you give us a minute?” He asked quietly, Fred grinned and took himself off upstairs

“Feelings?” Y/N said once more “You don’t have to say anything, I know your vulnerable right now” George started standing up so that he was face to face with Y/N, his fingers finding their way into her hair once more “I’ve always loved you Y/N, I didn’t tell you because I knew you were happy”

“Georgie” Y/N sighed happily “I’ve always loved you, I only dated him because I didn’t think you would ever like me like that”

“really?” George asked

“Really” Y/N grinned up at George,

“So what now?” George asked, he hadn’t thought this far ahead

“Now it’s your turn to make an impulsive decision” She grinned tilting her head up a little

George placed his lips on hers, the kiss was gentle and comforting, George pulled her towards him. Her hands found their way into his hair, as they moved together.

“Merlin I love impulsive decisions” George breathed as he pulled away with a content grin

#fred and george #george weasley #george weasley x reader #george weasley fluff #george weasley x y/n #george weasley fanfiction #hp fandom #hp fanfic #hp #harry potter imagine #harry potter imagines

[alreadyblondenow]

When December comes | Hendery (TEASER)

✦ Hendery x reader x Lucas ✦ Fluff, Smut, Smut, Smut, Angst, Royalty AU, Nutcracker AU ✦ 3/5 for HOLIDAY SERIES: Once Upon A December

Summary: As an adopted legitimate princess and future queen of two kingdoms, you grew up proving yourself that you deserve the role that has given to you. Nothing is simple about being an adopted princess but being arranged to marry Prince Hendery turned your life upside down.He left you, eventually. And by the time he came back to your life, you have a loving boyfriend, and Prince Hendery.... is arranged to be married to your sister now.  

Warnings: adopted reader (if thats triggering at any point, please click away) A lot of smut, unprotected sex and protected sex, mentions of sex, swearing, mentions of other idols, fingering, rough sex, heavy cheating, major character death

A/N: PURE FICTION. This is a love triangle fic but not much focused to Lucas, more on Hendery. Inspired by a bunch of royalty movies, especially princess diaries, Nutcracker (ballet), inspired by the song Satisfied from Hamilton. Love writing for Hendery so much, also I’m enjoying this right now, i might reach 10k? Check my recent post for Hendery’s thirst photos whahaha

It’s Christmas Eve and you’re all dressed up right now, ready to shake a lot of hands and dance with a bunch of princes and dukes and god know what else but you can’t help but take care of a few things before you enjoy this night. You were signing some last minutes contracts and reading proposals when you heard a soft knock from your door, “S-sorry. Come in” you see your boyfriend dressed up in a tux, looking so handsome. He smiled at you before he enters and closed the door behind him, “well you look dashing” you put your pen down and crossed your arms.

“I’m here to pick you up your majesty, the guests are waiting downstairs and your grandfather-“

“Oh he’s here! Perfect!” you exclaimed and express your excitement upon hearing that your grandfather is here. You haven’t seen him for a very long time and you have lots of stories to tell him. “Oh shit- by the way. Lucas, uhm… Can you zip my dress, I forgot I unzip it because it was uncomfortable. Stupid ball gowns” you said, turning your back to Lucas and waiting for him to take care of your zipper. But before he zips you up, he kisses your exposed shoulders and massaged them.

“Don’t forget to have fun tonight okay? I’ll be watching you like a hawk the whole night- well actually, not you. The men that will dance with you tonight” Because Lucas has no rank or title, he can’t earn a dance with you because it’s against the conditions that your father gave.

“All done your majesty,” he says and stepped back to open the door for you.

Every Christmas Eve, throwing an extravagant ball has been your family’s tradition for centuries. It is known by royalties across the globe and this fancy Christmas party is actually part of your kingdom’s history. Different respective kings, beautiful queens, annoying princes and princesses, dukes and duchess are invited and all are here not only to have fun but also here to talk business with you. 

The night goes on, dancing with a few guests before you meet and spend some time with your grandfather. You wanted to whine and complain to your assistant but she’s just doing her job so you shrugged it off. “How many more left?” you asked while waiting for the next Prince to ask to dance, “two more your majesty. Your grandfather is next after this” you smiled and thanked her, giving a bow to the next prince who’s about to dance with you. And the moment you lift your head to meet his eyes, you thought you were dreaming. 

For a moment you forgot proper princess etiquette and gave Hendery a tight hug, shocking everyone at your behavior but they’re even more shocked about Hendery’s appearance. ‘The son of the dead king has finally shown himself’ you hear everyone murmur around you but you don’t care. You smiled so big seeing that handsome face again. He kissed your hand and asked you to dance which you accepted gladly, now that Hendery is back and you’re all dressed up wearing your tiara, you feel like a real princess finally meeting his prince in a storybook. 

“Where have you been?” you whispered to him. 

“I’m sorry I left you like that, I was devastated” he whispers back as you two dance in the middle of the ballroom with the other royalties, trying so hard to hide the excitement. While you were dancing with Hendery, you remember that handsome smile that made your knees weak, his sweet gestures to prove his feelings for you, and your promises to each other. 

Is it really true that first love never dies or your love for Hendery was just too strong that it never died? 

When Hendery was about to hand you over to your grandfather, your father and mother came out of nowhere with your younger sister on their side. Is it because they’re happy to see Hendery too? Or are they going to press you regarding the arranged marriage again? You cling to your grandfather as you get nervous but careful not to show it. “Ah! Hendery welcome back! How was your time in the army, good?” your father exclaims. So all this time he knew where Hendery is. 

“I had a hard time your highness, but I made it back in one piece” Hendery answered and made a small joke that made you all giggle and let out a small laugh. Oh you missed him. 

“Hendery, I want you to meet Y/n’s younger sister” you watch him kiss your sister’s hand, “and also your future bride to be”

You were completely taken aback by what you just heard and the words that came into your head were, ‘I thought you were mine’ but you didn’t speak your mind and listened further to what your father is saying. But as you listen more, you feel like your dress was becoming tighter and tighter in every second that you can’t breathe anymore. “She will be your queen in your kingdom, and Y/n will be an independent queen here” your father explained proudly.

“But she’s too young” you pointed at your sister but you see how your sister’s eyes are sparkling. Too late. You thought. You watch her be charmed by Hendery’s visuals, that damn smile captured your sister’s heart in an instant. 

“Hendery can wait until his bride is in the right age to be married, right son?” 

“Of course your highness, it’s my duty” he answered confidently. 

After the unexpected talk, you excused yourself, went to your room, and breathed outside on your balcony. You can’t forget your sister’s face as she looks at the man you used to kiss and you used to love. She has no idea what controversy she will face in the future, she is so young and blinded by infatuation…Or maybe you’re being like this because you’re jealous. 

“Believe me I’m just as shock as you are” 

A familiar voice made your heart race and your body stiffen in no time. You turned around secretly hoped that you’re wrong, but you will never forget his voice and also how his mere presence makes your heart excited. “How did you get in here?” 

You hear him scoff and stood behind you, “We used to make out a lot in your room-and mine too of course. I still remember the way to your room by heart” he looked up the stars to stop himself from looking at you. You looked so beautiful tonight that he can’t stop blushing and admiring you. 

You were silent. Mainly because you don’t know what to say and you’re not sure what to feel either. 

“It’s going to be fine” with all his courage he tried hugging you like how he used to when you were only teenagers. But you pushed him away and stepped away from him. Hendery felt a slight pang in his heart, he never thought that you could do that to him.

 “Were not together now don’t you get it? You were gone for years Hendery, a lot has changed” 

 “You’re hurting me, this is not our fault we love each other what's wrong with that” he reasons out, trying to lower his voice because someone might hear him. 

 “Loved. Past tense. My sister likes you and you are arranged to be married to her Hendery” you close your eyes as you remember what happened again earlier.  

“If I have known that life will take you away from me, I shouldn’t have wasted my time and showered you with love and affection when we were young”

With a heavy heart, your first love left you in the cold night with a confused mind. 

FULLF FIC HERE!

#nct smut #wayv smut #hendery smut #wayv hendery smut #lucas smut #wayv x reader #hendery x reader #nct fluff #nct angst #hendery angst #hendery fluff #royalty au #nct aus #nct au #wayv au #wayv aus #nct imagines #nct scenarios #wayv imagines #wayv scenarios

[jjkpls]

(y)our name 2 - two (m)

> genre : smut, fluff

> pairing : jeon jungkook x reader (f)

> total words : 10.3k

> warnings/content : dumbassesfriends to lovers, unrequited love, slice of life; cursing, dirty talk, penetrative intercourse, oral (m receiving), thigh riding, some filth and then some more filth; jk being a lil shit, oc still panicking

jungkook : Who said I don’t want it

It took him a good twenty minutes to send this. You don't know if he pondered over it for that long or if, after getting back to whatever it is he was doing, the thought suddenly sprang in his head. It's such a curious message. Makes your heartbeat stutters and your hands clammy and it takes you an eternity to formulate a response.

you : Well you sent me the link for a reason

jungkook : Yea cause I thought it might help but it has nothing to do with what I want

What?

jungkook : You’re the one who said you wouldn’t do it again with me

What?

you : Did i say that?

jungkook : Yes you did

You start to type but stop as you realise you don't even know what to say. He wants it again? And what is he even saying? You don't remember ever saying that. Everything's a blur honestly, but Jungkook's words, his insistence, it almost gives off the feeling that he remembers well. Perhaps he hasn't just brushed it off like you thought he did.

you : Would you want it again?

jungkook : Say what you meant to send and I’ll answer

Those goddamn dots.

you : That’s not very fair but whateva

you : You wanna be a big baby as you always are

jungkook : I’m not even going to answer that

you : Well you just did idiot

You purposefully waste time, just trying to delay the confession.

You want to test your luck -maybe rejection is not what's waiting for you. He's pushing it, demanding you to tell. He's admitted some of his own feelings so you should do the same.

you :  it’s just that I found myself very frustrated, to an extent solo doesn’t do anything for me anymore..

As soon as you send the text, you shut the device off, throwing it down on the carpet. It's burning like your shame on your face and you can't bear to hold it any longer.

You really sent that. Your heart is beating furiously. You feel yourself sweating bullets. It's so hot, you sway your legs nervously, vainly hoping to ventilate the suddenly overly-heated room.

Jungkook is sweet, he doesn't leave you hanging for too long and soon enough, your phone is vibrating, begging you to pick it back up.

jungkook : Of course it wouldn’t 

you : Ok don’t even get cocky with me dude

jungkook : Why not? It’s my fault isn’t it?

jungkook : Cause I made you feel that good

So he knows. You were annoyed for you found yourself troubled, anxious and restless. Shaken to your core, moved to your soul. But a side of you, the rational one, kept pestering that you were the chaotic, dumb and weak one responsible for the mess he's made of you. However, here, he admits he knows. He's known all along. He's done it on purpose: fucking you up.

you : 😐

jungkook : Don’t admit it it’s fine we both know it

What an ass.

you : Seriously you’re too cocky what for

Your brain is off right now. You don't know what to say, tempted by the teasing warmth your chest is taken over but nervous to let it spread too far.  

jungkook : I know I’m right

jungkook : I’m not trying to embarrass you

jungkook : Maybe embarrass your exes a bit

jungkook : But it’s pretty easy to tell

jungkook : When someone hasn’t felt a certain way before

jungkook : I know you’ve never come that hard before

jungkook : Don’t lie to me

jungkook : And more than once you reacted like I was crazy

jungkook : Thats the whole fun of playing with a cunt it’s to make it come endlessly until it hurts and your soaked sore and allswollen adn red

Shit. How does he even do that? With just a couple of texts, rendering you speechless, breathless and burning. Soaked in your panties, the discomfort so evident you have to sit up, thighs pressed to one another by fear of exposing the incriminating dark spot out in the open.

He does own you. Capable of manipulating your body and mind with a few well-chosen words. It's something you've never played with, dirty talking. And you didn't know you'd like it as much as you do. But when Jungkook does -the other night, tonight by text- it's lethal.

But how could he do it so easily? Turning so lewd so suddenly? When for the past weeks, he's acted so natural, so casual as if he couldn't care less about the sex you've had. How can he just switch like that?

you : Are you drunk?

jungkook : 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

jungkook : A bit tipsy we went to a bar with the crew

That explains some of it.

jungkook : Was it too much?

you : Nono it’s fine

you : I just don’t know what to say

jungkook : Tell me what you want

jungkook : What you meant to ask me the other night when I so rudely interrupted you with a dumbass article

Well, shit.

It's just Jungkook. Honesty and shamelessness are the main keys of your friendship. However, you're not him and expressing your sexual desires as easily as he does is not innate.

jungkook : Don’t be shy just tell me

Fuck it.

you : I’d like it if you could be with me again like the other night

You can count the excrutiatingly painful seconds as they tick by. It's been fiveteen.

you :  😬

Now, fifty.

you :  😖 😖 😖 

Finally, he decides to spare you.

jungkook : Is being friends is not a problem anymore?

you : Idk i trust you you trust me

you : We communicate well most of the time

you : Last time wasn’t such a big deal was it? I feel like we’ll be fine

you : Don’t you think?

You're rambling. You need to stop rambling. It's one thing to be in constant panic mode with this shit -this you can deal with, you know yourself and you accept it- but Jungkook really doesn't need to know.

jungkook : Idk I guess you’re right

you : So when you come back are you going to consider it?

jungkook : No

What a dick. Toying with you, bringing you there to then, deny you. How dares he?

jungkook : I’ve made up my mind already

jungkook : You’ll have me if you show yourself convincing enough

you : like how?

jungkook : It’s not that hard 

jungkook : I love it when someone makes me feel like you really want me

jungkook : *they

Oh boy.

you : k ill try

You’re resolute to try. To try your hardest. It kills you, the idea that he somehow managed to have the upper hand in this. It feels like he's going to make you suffer. But the point of the matter, the only thing you care about anymore is the fact that you were wrong -he did enjoy the first time if he’s up for a second. Oh, and also, obviously, the fact that you are a couple of hours away from a devastating orgasm you've been craving for for weeks. 

You spend the whole day -luckily for you, you're not working- prepping you. Trimming and grooming. Exfoliating and moisturizing. And as you’re doing all that, your stamina is twitching in anxiety because, holy shit, it feels like it never stops. There’s always a thing to arrange, another one that wouldn’t let itself fixed and when was the last time you spent that amount of effort into looking (that) attractive for someone? Even for Namjoon, you did not.

You did a lot. You cared about him. Namjoon was always so class and handsome and you hated the idea of being an ugly potato attached to his side so you’d take care of yourself more than you would when completely single -just gotta be honest. But not as much. You’re not exactly sure why. Probably because Namjoon was attentive and sweet but not the same kind of lover. He wouldn’t feel you up as heavily as you remember Jungkook doing. He’s never specifically asked to see you with the lights on. He’d talk to you and listen and maybe that’s more what it was about. He would lean in and seem to be drinking in your appearance when you’d be having a good conversation. One where you’d get animated and passionate. You’re pretty sure your brains -no matter how lame you consider them to be next to his- were what he liked the most about you. He must have found you pretty. Surely. But you’d never really caught him giving you a longing stare from the other end of the sofa when you were not looking.

He’d call you pretty and ravishing when he’d come to pick you up for a date and you’d spent a lot of time dolling yourself up. But always the same way. Always the same words. Never anything specific to what you were wearing or whatever. And his eyes were not really looking, were they? It didn’t hurt your feelings nor your ego that much. Because there’s probably nothing more flattering for you to have someone like you for your mind rather than your appearance -the flimsy quite irrelevant thing that you don’t really have much control over. It was fine. And like everything that used to be fine, Jeon Jungkook had to make it a problem.

As you stare at your own reflection in the mirror, pinching your lips together to spread the lipstick more evenly, you’re reminded of the way his hot stare was burning you that night. You remember how every time you’d look his way in the dark, you’d see his big round eyes locked on you with the cute stars in it shining fondly. You have no idea how attracted he is to you physically. You have no idea if he is at all or it’s just a thing that he does. Maybe he likes you the way you like an ugly old picture of yourself. With time and fondness, it becomes sweet and special and you just like looking at it.

Maybe, it's a weird analogy.

More so given what he’d be doing to you, the words he was saying while looking at you like he did. You don’t know how to read this distinctive mind of his. It’s new territory. Not completely terrifying because there’s your guide, your best friend, walking you through it. But it’s like a new mansion you’re just visiting. So bright and light and welcoming, with so many doors all closed but not locked and you don’t know what’s behind any of them even though you’re so curious to figure it out. There’s all those new faces, secrets behind those doors. You hope he’ll open them to you. All of them. They’re holding, you're certain of it, mind-blowing surprises -if the other night, where you discovered an actual man instead of your little boyish baby of a friend, is anything to go by. And it’s wonderful, that idea. That after all this time, after being so sure of knowing the kid like you’ve crafted it from scratch yourself, there is still more to learn about him. New things for him to amaze you with.

“What are you doing?” Eun is watching you with a hand on the frame of the door, eyes blown wide and a weird stance. She looks about ready to flee like she’s witnessing something so unspeakable she is that close to jump on the phone and call the cops.

That’s rude. You’d frown if you were not so concern about munching up your freshly applied mascara. Fair enough, lately, you haven’t been exactly runaway material but the way she’s looking at you is plain blank offensive. 

“I’m just making myself pretty. Do I look weird to you?” Maybe you do. Maybe you overdid it a bit. 

She completely ignores your concern to jump on the exciting bait you did not even mean to throw. “What for? You have a date?”

“No, I don’t. It’s for my own, uh, enjoyment.”

Her face twists comically while she tsks in disdain. “Bitch, please.” Getting ruder by the second, she is. “You have a date. It’s not Namjoon is it?”

“No, not with Namjoon. But do I look too different, like strange-different?”

“You look gorgeous, babe. I was just surprised.”

“Oh okay, cool.” You decide to take her words for facts, panicking over potentially looking like a clownish try-hard is not what you need.

“So... A date? You little cachotière*.” Here, the nerves hit. You have been nothing but excited since the text conversation you had with Jungkook the night before but now, merely an hour before he’s supposed to be home, you begin freaking out.

It’s Eun and her overuse of the “d-word”. Because it’s not like that. At all. If it becomes a date then you have to rightfully so freak the fuck out. Thanks to her, even if it's not one, you start losing it. In your state of panic, while you observe yourself liquify in the mirror -it’s quite interesting to watch, you having a crisis in real time-, blanching in utter destress, another scary thought assaults you.

Jungkook lives across the short hall from here. He and Jimin and you and Eun are so close and comfortable around each other, you basically share one giant apartment, allowing yourselves to just barge in no matter how inappropriate the moment is. The whole floor is a constant open house. The probability of having Eun find out that you’re in fact sleeping over to their's is so high, it’s almost prophetic.

Shit. She’s going to ask so many questions. And of course, she won’t believe you if you say you dressed yourself up to the nines just to go play games with Jungkook. She’d think there would be something else to it. And she’d be right. But she doesn’t need to know just yet. You were blessed enough the other night, that she drunk herself to sleep with Jimin, knocked herself out so bad she couldn’t remember anything past the cake cutting. Not that you have or want to preserve secrets from her. It’s not really secrets. “Secrets” sounds like you’d purposefully want to withhold information from her from lack of trust. It’s not like that. It’s just whatever Jungkook and you are doing is yours. There are a lot of things you two never consider sharing with other people just because they are your thing.You two share a private garden and no one will ever be invited to visit it.

“Who is it?”

“I- just- it’s a bit soon to-“

“You don’t wanna say yet. Ok, I get it.” She says it with geniune sympathy, yet her glossy lips puckered in a little pout. “Do I know him?”

“Uh- possibly.” Her eyes widen for a second before they’re looking up to the roof, searching her brain for the full list of your common acquaintances -she’s understanding and respectful but that doesn’t mean she's not eaten up by curiosity.

After a while, as you ponder over your own image and consider wiping your whole face off of the makeup to just go with something more like your everyday self, the one Jungkook knows better, Eun gives up on the investigation and redirects her attention back to you, “Is he handsome?”

You don’t know how to answer her and end up giving an incoherent babbling and spilling of squeaky sounds that can only describe it better than words would. She’s smiling a wolf grin, picking up a lipstick from her personal shelf before taking a makeup remover tissue to drag over your already painted mouth. She applies, meticulously, the new taint she’s chosen. It’s a deep red, very sultry that gives you the look of a sexy vampire or maybe a succubus.

She gets it. Jungkook's tending to observe you is not the only reason you've worked so hard on yourself. He is so deadly handsome. You always knew but not felt it arouse anything within you. You saw him as that little brother of yours who’s grown so much into a very charming, universally attractive boy. But that night, with his hair -you’d never, in more than a decade of being his friend, seen his forehead and you’re oh-so glad you did not because horny-high-school-you would probably have freaked about it, who would think that eyebrows could do so much to someone's face- pulled back and his leather jacket, quirking his eyebrow and biting his lip and leaning around like he was some kind of James Dean. You don’t know how responsible are the orgasms -surely, they can have an impact on your perception-, or your thirst, but you’ve decided, observing him more attentively since that night, that he was one of the most beautiful men you’ve ever seen. Truly.

Also you can’t actively name who would be standing right next to him on the podium but that’s just a detail. A detail you won’t share with him more than you did last time because you don’t want his ego to inflate and explode right in your face. It wouldn’t be pretty nor pleasing. He's cocky enough already as it it.

Anyway, you just want to look beautiful because he, himself, is so much so. 

“I hope you’re aiming to get laid because with this magic...” Eun leaves the sentence pending, her sharp eyebrows high over her protruding eyes conclude it. You can’t control the widely telling grin drawing itself on your mouth.

“You’re gonna need a lot of convincing.” It’s the first thing he said as he saw you walked in through the cracked open door. You’d just sneaked your way through the whole length of their apartment, trying to not get caught by Jimin while having a mini attack because said Jimin was sitting right there, in the living room you had to pass by. He had headphones on and was so engrossed in whatever he was doing on his cellphone that he didn’t even notice you, staring at him like a deer caught in headlight, not even flinching when in your panic to run from the scene while luck was still on your side, you had knocked down a craft bag full of noisy ramen boxes. You hadn’t even picked it up, just rushing to the end of the hallway for Jungkook’s bedroom.

You don’t know what you look like right now. You feel awkward and dishevelled and quite exposed, standing in front of him in your fancy outfit while he’s in his pyjamas, looking up at you from the bed, with an unimpressed expression masking his face.

“You know I arrived 2 hours ago, right?” He is not genuinely upset, you can tell. But there’s a little edge to his tone. An honest curiosity. And maybe a relief. Maybe he thought you had changed your mind and hadn’t bothered letting him know about it.

“Yes, sorry. Mom called.” You say it with a bratty roll of your eyes as if you’re not left warm and fuzzy each time you hang up a phone call with her.

She’s lovely. You miss her often but not to the point of actually wanting her around -she’d pester and nag the life out of you if she were to see the state of your room and just the general way you chose to do things. And she talks so much. She has so much to say every time she picks up the phone to ring you. Everything about her and about your dad and the rest of the family and the rest of the neighbourhood and what the mayor has been up too and what her colleagues at work have been discussing about these days. It goes on and on and on and you understand that it comes from a place of her missing you dearly but when most of the times it is okay and a fairly entertaining way of wasting two hours doing nothing, you couldn’t care less about whatever the hell was going to be replacing the shop next to your uncle’s when the stupid story is delaying the event of tonight. But how could you tell her that? So you sat on the barstool, your forehead pressed onto your handbag (that you didn’t need but you were supposed to go out on a date so that fit better the narrative), shoe-clad feet bouncing nervously in the air, half-listening, half-dreading, humming noncommittal monosyllabic words into the phone, as Eun watched you from the sofa, staring with a beyond confused, low-key judgmental gaze, miming with all her body how you should hang up and head out. And that’s how you arrived two hours late when you meant to be in his bedroom before he even came back from the station.

You shrug, grimacing in a form of apology. But Jungkook knows your mom like his own and doesn’t hold you accountable for the lateness anymore, his face being recovered by a soft layer of fondness at the mention of her. “She said to tell you she thinks about you a lot and misses you. And to give you kisses too.” He chuckles at that and you match him, amused by the double meaning you now give to the term. You used to almost fear those innocent kisses -more subconsciously than not, it just wouldn’t come about, none of you needing to express your affection like that- and look at you now. About to get screwed by him. For the second time.

He is staring up at you with an intensity, you don’t want to get ahead of yourself and assume what it means but it is here. And you can't help but stare back, hoping to not show too much how bad you want to jump on him right now. Lain in bed like that, back pressed against his headboard, with a half unbuttoned white silky-like shirt, and his expression and his demeanour, you can see that under the cover his legs are taut and slightly parted: he looks like he’s expecting something. You. He’s been expecting you and you’re finally here and he’s tantalizing you with the meal he knows you want to consume. Tantalizing because no matter how sure you are that his expression means he still is on board and wants you, he doesn’t look willing to make a move. “So, as I was saying: a lot more convincing will be needed.”

“Well, I’m here already. Doesn’t that tell you I- like- want it?”

“Sure. But still it’s late and I’ve been travelling all evening and I’m so tired.” He feigns a yawn. “As you can see, I was going to sleep.” What an annoying little shit. He makes his eyes all big and sorry-looking, putting his mouth in a pout like he’s saddened. But you see the quirks of his stupid eyebrows. He has the “bullshit face”. It’s pretty self-explanatory. Whenever he has it on, and he has very little control over it by the way, you know he’s in for some bullshitting. Either it shows when he wants to get away with something he’s done or doesn’t want to admit it out loud, or he’s straight on wanting to mess with you. He has had that stupid face since he was fourteen and he pretended in that one conversation about porn and sexism that he shared the same opinion as you and yes, lesbian porn for male was wrong and disgusting. He didn’t believe a word of it, and this not because he was a big fan of the genre but because he wasn’t a big consumer of porn in general -which you didn’t know at the time. You just knew that he was lying because his face contorted in a way it never did before and that was suspicious as hell.

So here comes the bullshit face and you already know why. You’re in for some torture. Jungkook and his stupid competitive ass. While he doesn’t like competing in 'real' life with other people because he doesn’t like to win over them, he has no problem with you. He loves to make your life harder. He balances it out by being the best friend you've ever had but still, so aggravating.

“Guk, seriously, don’t be mean. I already made the first step the other day!”

“And then you avoided me for a week.” He says, totally unfazed.

“It wasn’t even a week.” You’re the one scowling now. Mumbling through button-shaped lips. “Seriously, I can’t do this...” There’s a flash of alarm blinking for a second on his face as he straightens up in his bed, the cover slipping completely from his torso, exposing all the golden skin peeking from the open shirt.

“Do what?”

“‘Convince you’. I can’t- like- seduce you or whatever.” You grumble like an upset kid and that’s pretty much what you feel like. It’s like your favourite toy, the one you’ve been wanting for many Christmas is just right here, within reach, but you won’t have it because you’re required to resolve an impossible math problem or something. It’s too hard. You already feel yourself burning from embarrassment, your heart is thumping in your temple and you just decide to give up, taking a few tentative steps backward, hand already reaching out for the handle when Jungkook jumps off of his bed to grab it. Standing so tall and broad, hovering you, his warm hand holding yours and the breeze of his perfume hitting your nostrils, you’re taken by a rush of excitation. It’s crazy what the context does to perception. He stood that way in front of you so many times but never have you felt so small, never have you found him so big and attractive because of it and that scent, you’ve smelled basically all your life -a soft flowery carress-, never made your head spin that way.

“Don’t leave!” His voice is a bit loud, almost desperate and the thought that he might be makes you smile internally. “Lemme help you.” He demands so gently, with the stars in his eyes as fervent supporters to his cause, there’s no way you’d say no. He could ask you anything when he’s looking and talking to you like that, with his warm hand now pressed to your neck, thumb caressing your cheek.

You nod your head once and he kisses you. As softly as he is, your hands clutch at his shirt way too intensely to match. He’s so gentle like you’re a tiny little thing he’s dreading at the idea to scare away. So different from the kisses you remember him giving you the other night. It’s lovely anyway. Tender as can be. Delicate and kind and when he pulls back to look into your eyes again, your heart warms up with all the love and adoration you have for this man. He really is your best friend, the most important person in your life that you had chosen and he makes you so happy.

“Is it okay?” He whispers so sweetly you want to wrap your arms around his neck and suffocate him with love. You nod again this time more dismissively because a scent in his breath has just interpellated you.

“Have you been drinking?”

He smiles cheekily, dipping his head down in guilt. “I had a shot or two.” You relish in the shameful tremble of his confession.

There’s this complimentary thing about you two. One would often compensate for the other's lacking. It’s never been conscious or anything but it’s always been there. You see the way he gulps visibly, you recognize the tiny blush of his cheeks sauntering to his ears, you know why he had those shots, and you feel the rush of confidence run through your veins because he is so nervous, you can see it now. Therefore, you have to tease. It’s only fair.

“You were not this nervous by text, were you?”

“Stop saying that, I’m not nervous!” He exclaims with passion but you both know he’s lying and it makes you laugh right in his face, uncaring of his pinching your cheek to make you stop. He’s just too cute and dumb.

“Keep that up and I really won’t be nice to you.”

Even if the grin remains on your face, you shudder from head to toes. His tone has dropped to a lower purr, his gaze is dark with a gravity that wasn’t there before. That's funny because it really feels like a deja-vu. Last time unrolled so similarly and you know what is supposed to happen now.

“You always say that.” He doesn’t say anything, keeps staring, engaging in an eye staring contest, daring you to not drop your own. “You threaten me but you never act on it.” You say quietly. You don’t know what comes over you, probably just the heat of the moment, but you regret almost instantly to be so reckless. You don’t want him to be merciless with you. You had a taste of him being fairly nice the other night and almost died. You’re terrified of him being mean. But here you are tempting him into doing just that.

Perhaps he, who knows you the best, reads you again like a book he’s written himself and he settles for being soft and lenient with you. He leans in to smash his lips to yours, now wet and demanding, sucking your bottom lip between his teeth before you even get to close your eyes. His hands holding your head firmly, his hips leaning forward making his thighs dig into you, his tongue greets for the briefest of moment your own, sending a direct message to your centre which you can feel clench around nothing. But before you can gather back your thoughts and try and meet him and work his mouth too instead of just letting him devour you, he’s let you go. All grip on you, any proximity allowing you to feel his warmth are gone. He’s so far the only thing that's still been linking you, the thin strip of saliva joining your mouths, snaps. You’re cold outside yet burning inside, heart erratically pumping in your chest, feeling dumb and confused and abused and revolted, because why would he already stop? Especially to step back and look at you like he’s decided he now wanted to be mean.

“I’ve helped you enough. Now it’s on you.” You gawk in silence, watching mindlessly as he proceeds on making his bed, laying the cover flat so he could hop back down on it.

“What does that mean?”

“Make me feel good. Remind me why I’m letting you have me when you’re being such a bitch.” You gasp at the choice of word. He’s never used it in front of you, not even in a joking manner -or maybe once or twice but he was talking about his roommate who happens to be one at times. Your astonishment is met with the greatest smirk. He’s having so much fun because he’s got the upper hand again. “Treat me better and I’ll be good to you when it’s your turn.”

And this is one of those moments you'd encountered so many times since you were a little girl. This instance where two options would be presented to you and you had to make a choice. An important one. One that you decided would define you and therefore, it needed to be the right one. Either you choose the easiest option, indulge in your fear of the unknown, turn into a coward, denying yourself what you really want because you’re scared. Or you carry your virtual balls, decide that even if you might fail, you will follow this terrifying path out of your comfort zone because you want the future you to be proud and thankful for you. Most of these times, you did not only think about you but also about the little boy with the bunny teeth and fluffy hair and big and soft wondering eyes which were always watching you, you couldn’t permit yourself to bend and plead because you wanted to inspire him to be strong and adventurous.

The boy's right there. Not so little anymore. Not needing any push nor any light to follow. But eyes still as big and soft, looking at you so expectantly, you recall those would never hurt you. You can face the shame. You can even face the embarrassment of not knowing what to do or try and end up doing wrong because it’s just Jungkook. He’d smile to heal your bruised ego and guide you gently the way he did before.

You step forward, carefully, as if he’s become the fragile being ready to fly away now. It's silly. The precaution is for you more than for him. Legs twitching slightly, eyes set on your every move, lips now hanging open as if he’s struggling to breathe, he doesn’t look whatsoever wanting to back away. He’s waiting for you. You slip your feet out of your shoes in a swift motion, before kneeling on the bed, one hand setting on his knee. You see his Adam's apple jump up and down and you wonder if he doesn’t wish he had downed more than two shots. He keeps switching from a nervous wreck to a hot “alpha” dude and you don’t understand how you're supposed to deal with that.

When you look down, pondering over your next move, you notice the blue shorts he has on. You know them for you’ve seen him wearing them multiple times before. They’re meant to be rather loose. At least you thought they were. But as you gawp at them, you’re struck by how tight they look on his legs. They end way higher than they should because of his position, his thighs filling them up to the point of straining -if he keeps them for too long you’re sure he’ll have a thin indent along his skin. His thighs look so meaty and the part just before his knees, lacking fat rendering his monstrous muscles enhanced. You press your own legs on reflex. You had no idea a man's legs could be so attractive.

The glorious view finishes to urge you on. Trailing forward, your hands set on the object of your new obsession, fingers loving the warmth of his skin and dipping in the flesh. He feels wonderful under your touch.

Would he let you bite them a bit? Maybe if you ask nicely, he will. You shake the thought off. It’s not the plan right now. You don’t even know if he’d like that and you’re supposed to please him.

You raise yourself from the bed, keeping your balance thanks to the grip you have on his thighs and get even closer to take a seat on the left one. Jungkook looks so handsome from up close. You’re met with his soft skin and pretty shades. There’s the rather deep scar he got on his cheek one of those times when you were fourteen and you were practising riding your bikes on the low stairs in front of the subway station. You remember how scary it was to have to entangle him from his fucked up bike with half of his face pissing blood. Terrifying. But it left him with this eternal scar, charming along with his boyish features, and memory of a not-so-pleasing moment but precious friendship. You love it even more because he lies each time he's asked about it, telling crazy stories that'd never happened, while sporting a cheeky smile only you understand. And there are his beauty marks scattered here and there like they’re playing a game of hide-and-seek. You find your favourite one hiding under his bottom lip, lean in to place a kiss on it.

When you back away his eyes are shut, his face so relaxed, he looks so peaceful and happy with this tiny curve of his pink lips -lips that you notice are smeared with a faint dark red you know to be the lipstick you're wearing-, you want to squeal from how grateful you are to have him like that.

Jungkook scrapes his throat when he opens his eyes again, shifting a bit under you as if to get more comfortable and you’re reminded that he’s waiting. He’s been waiting patiently and your clit from down here pulses as to remind you that you also need something.

So you start moving. Hands pressed to his shoulders, loving how sturdy and big he feels under you, you grind languidly along his thigh. You feel it building already. You've lost the manner, the way to do this for it to be nice, but it's so hot: he is, his breath on your lips is, the room, everything is. Soon the intense gaze you’re sharing with him is broken as his head falls backward, all teeth out from how amused he is. You don’t stop moving, no matter how confusing his reaction is, because the contact on your clit feels incredible. It shoots a succesion of electric shocks through you, blanking your mind momentarily each time, there’s no way you’re stopping because he wants to make fun of you again. 

“So I tell you to please me and that’s what you come up with?” He asks once his fit of chuckles have quiet down. 

Breathlessly, you counter, “You said you liked that.” You’re not offended about his change of mood. You couldn’t care less. Not when you’ve figured out exactly how to move your hips to treat your cunt, when the motion has come so easy to perform you can now speed up comfortably. 

“I do but when you’re done, you’ll have to try harder than that.” You nod, eyes closed and eyebrows furrowed. He takes hold of your hips. He’s not guiding, just letting his hands there as to feel you, encourage you. “For now, just make yourself come, babe.” Your eyes open again on his, the latter having a lot to say. You read them outright. He wonders if it’s ok to call you that. He apologizes every time he does it by accident so it feels a bit weird, unfamiliar. But the pet name, for some reasons you don’t care to elucidate, renders you all putty and giddy. He can probably feel it in the way you melt even more in his embrace, looking up at him with large eager eyes. 

“I promise I’ll do better after.” It slips out of your mouth straight from your hazy heart and Jungkook catches it with eagerness. You sound so tiny and lenient. Almost pitiful. 

“You’re doing great, baby.” He assures you right away, kissing your jaw with way more tongue than lips. “You’re so sexy.” You moan over him, from the pleasure building, the wetness on your skin, the praise, the name. Your fingers slip under the open folds of his shirt, too lazy and incompetent to unfasten the buttons, but so eager to grant your eyes with the glorious vision of his thick chest, they drag the tissue down as much as it’d go, not caring the least about how the stretch might hurt the skin around his neck. “Are you close?”

“Yes.” You moan in his ear. His hands on your covered hips glide along your thighs to sneak under the skirt of your dress and grab the flesh the find there. 

“You know one thing that I would really like you doing for me?” His voice, texture of honey, meets the crook of your neck and coats your heart in a thick, warmth layer.

“Tell me.” You pant in his face without an once of embarrassment left. You’re rutting like a horny bitch on his thigh, begging him to tell you how you could please him. How he brought you there, how he is doing all this is beyond your comprehension but you're loving every aspects of it.

“I'd really like you to cover my cock with the pretty lipstick you have on.”

Your lips press against one another. May Eun be blessed.

“I’d love that.” His tongue is at your collarbone for a devilishly short instant. “'Will show me how desperate you are for it.”

“Ok, I will.” He smiles to you, from his bunny smile to his glittering eyes. “Can you kiss me? Like ear-earlier?” His mouth is on yours before you get the question fully out. You moan into him, finding out this is the tiny push you needed. As he licks and sucks, his fingers digging deeper in your thighs, you get off both from the friction and his kiss. You’re almost there. You can feel the heat spreading. You sneak one of your hand down his chest to his crotch to get a grasp of his cock. It’s so hard and so hot under your palm. So hot and wet in your mouth. And you are coming undone, hips snapping on his leg, eyes shut and lips open only to leave out a small, broken whine. The pressure against your clit feels a bit too intense, a bit raw and makes you jerk and wince, until Jungkook wraps his arms around you and welcomes you into his chest, kissing the top of your head while whispering something you don’t really catch through the ringing in your ear.

It’s decided. If he’s ok with it you’ll come back to his bed for all your sexual needs. Rubbing yourself on a pillow never felt that good and he hasn’t done much to you, just being there and turning you on in a way that shouldn't be allowed. When you withdraw from his lap, you’re cringing visibly from the sensitivity, movements slow and careful, face contorted. Jungkook is watching you with undisguised enjoyement, a grin biting on his lower lip. 

“So I gather you like thigh riding too, now?” You shrug, red in the cheeks, avoiding his gaze. He doesn’t comment further. He just sits there, the tips of his fingers grazing mindlessly the thigh you just rode. The other set of fingers toying with the hem of his dishevelled shirt. You watch him from under your lashes, not ready to meet his eyes just yet, resulting in you having to face the prominent bulge of his crotch. The moment lasts for an eternity. All you can think about is why he won’t give it to you already. “If there’s something that you want, you should know how to ask for it.”

Aggravation is heavy on your temples. You take the time to think about it and quite frankly you don’t have it in you to start arguing for something you both know that you both want. You’re not that petty. He can have his stupid win if he wants. 

“Strip already so I can- suckyouoff.” How is it so difficult to say out loud? You’ve never thought yourself to be that prude but here you are, having to say the words, and you realize you’re so unfamiliar with them if not for the erotic novels you used to read back in high school. While he, on the other hand, says all those obscenities with such perfect phlegm.

His slender fingers raise to his shirt, toying with the first button and after an excruciatingly long time which tastes of pure torture, they unfasten it. They aim for the next one but just stop there. You’re boiling, shaking, this close to jump on him and rip it off already. Decency and, to a bigger extent, pride keep you from doing so. He would like this too much.

“That won’t do, ___.” You can't help the long sigh that escapes you.

“Remember what I said? Convince me.” He says again, stressing the syllables as to make sure you get them right this time. He's pushing you so far. Too far. You don't get why he would challenge you this much. He was gentler the other night, more complaisant. Maybe it turns him on. Maybe he's not a total dick and actually likes to be worshipped rather than simply enjoying your misery. You do want to please him. Therefore, with a trembling voice, breath shorten by timidity, you pronounce aloud the words you mean but hurt to admit.

“Can I please have your cock?” Those are the magic words. In a blink of the eyes, his shirt is thrown away, one of his hand sets on his crotch, massaging it softly while the other reach for you, open palm welcoming you forward. You fit yours in it, Jungkook presses the inside of your fingers to his mouth before he drags you to him. Once you've kneeled in between his opened legs, your hand slip from his. You look up, gnawing on your lip. “Can you like- guide me through it?”

“You've never given head before?”

“I did but- I don't know. I want it to be good.” He smiles wide. That big, big grin that shows off both his up and down lines of teeth, with his dumb nose all scrunched up.

He nods, observing you quietly. And you reach for the waistband of his shorts. You mean to just drag it down to his thighs but he takes upon himself to strip completely out of it. You have no idea how he does that, standing fully naked there, in front of you -who's still fully clothed, by the way. You're not complaining; when he's looking this good, it makes it rather understandable. He looks perfect. Perfect but not in a linear, boring way. In a shockingly stunning way.

You've never had the full experience. You had the massive thighs, the broad shoulders and lean chest, his pretty face and opulent fluffy hair on top of it. But all put together, he's a deadly piece of art. Hypnotizing. Shaped like an Adonis. He looks so handsome. Gorgeous.

And of fucking course, as any piece of art, not a detail is left neglected. He's this remarkable to his very sex.

It's so fucking ridiculous. And unfair.

Quick before letting yourself the time to look at it for too long and get intimidated, you wrap your hand around it. Fairly long and lean, fair with a blushy tip. So soft and warm and hard in your hand. Such a pretty cock. The thought plagues your mind but you're smart enough to not say it aloud. It's one of the weirdest thought you've ever had, you realize.

It's true though. So true. So pretty it just pulls you in.

You kiss the head a few times, slowly, before you slide to the length. Walking your way up with your tongue, you hear him hiss aloud, see his abs contracting in spasms.

The tip of his cock is so tender. Flushed, silky and soaked, tasting and feeling so nice on your tongue, on your lips. Your eyes meet his. You're just curious to see how sweet his face looks when he's letting out all those tiny whimpers. You see him grimace, frown before he closes his eyes shut and throw his head back, blocking entirely the view you're giving him and you're wondering if you're doing this right. He's not giving you any guidance like he said he would. He's not that loud, quite quiet even, if you consider how talkative he was the other night. He's not bucking his hips uncontrollably in your wet heat like you remember your ex, Taehyung, used to do.

As you suckle on the head, dipping the tip of your tongue in the slit, your left hand holding him firmly upward while the right one, curiously tests its way down, caressing his balls. There's a switch hidden there apparently. Each time the tip of your fingers dip there, he leaves out a languid groan.

“You're not telling me what to do.” You complain between two deep inhale, raising up. Your lips feel hot, tingly, and you imagine them swollen and red. You imagine it's the reason why he's staring at them the way he is.

“I don't need to tell you anything. You're- You're doing perfect.” It makes you roll your eyes. His voice is tensed, his words stuttered but he might be faking it. He's not even cursing or anything. His hands not gripping your hair. Awfully disappointing. Perfect in your mouth but disappointing around you. Even more so, when he stops you from leaning to work your mouth on him again. “You wanna give me more?” You stare silently, not having a clue of where a yes would take you. “Wanna try to ride me?”

It’s the best sensation you’ve ever felt. Sitting on his chest like it's your throne, having him look up at you with the giant marbles he has for eyes, enchanted and eager. “Should I eat you out first?” You’re soaked. You’ve been feeling yourself drip since you tasted for the first time a drop of his precum, you don’t need to be eaten out. You know what’s to come. You’re about to have him fill you up again. After all this time craving for it, dreaming day and night about it. You wouldn’t want to delay it any longer.

When Jungkook gets busy grabbing a condom from the nightstand, you take the opportunity to throw your dress over your head. You’re not sure why he hasn’t hinted at taking it off yet. His wandering hands have been teasing the skin under it non stop but he’s never tried to actually take it off.  

“Jungkook, why not take my dress off?”

He looks up from the wrapper he’s been struggling with, confusion shining in his eyes. His mouth opens, about ready to answer but he catches sight of your form, naked except for the delicate black lace lingerie you carefully picked. He’s never seen you naked with proper lightening, nor any close to this state of undressing as the last time he’s seen you in a bikini, well, you can't remember but it was probably in late middle school. He seems to like it. It’s the special gaze again. The one of a lover. The ardent one, dark, almost teary as his hands graze up your sides so lightly it leaves a painful scorching along the skin. “You’re beautiful.”

“Thanks.” You mean to hit his chest to chastise his over-exaggerated gravity but you can’t deny his sincerity and your hand simply lands flabbily instead. “Can I keep my, uh, underwear?” He just nods, doesn’t get cocky or mocking, eyes still bathing in your appearance, and a crazy thought occurs. Could it be possible that he sees you the same way you see him?

You don’t like to talk in leagues. It’s ridiculous and pointless and for the most part inaccurate. You know your worth. You’re a good person with a lot to offer, fairly pretty on a good day, with some flaws, of course, but nothing that outrageous, just like most people. But Jungkook is quite, he’s quite phenomenal. Friendship put aside, you can see how much of a surreal deal he is. And physically -even though it doesn't usually matter to you but since it’s about sleeping together for the sake of sex rather than feelings, it kind of does matter here-, he’s beyond anything you have ever seen, in real life or on a screen. He’s something else. Something else from another world. A perfect dream of a perfect sculptor brought to life. And he’s looking at you like he doesn’t know that, like he can’t see that and he believes it’s you the piece of art.

“Sure. You’re- It looks so pretty on you.” His voice has lost some of the heavy tension from before. He's smoothing the tissue under his fingers, studying the quiet intricacies in the pattern.

“Thanks. I just bought it.” His dark orbs snap up.

“For me?” You could lie. You could and he would never know about it but you want to tell him the truth. You nod. Shrugging slightly to pretend casualty. Kindly, he whispers, “Thank you, babe. I love it.”

Maybe it's the timid blush on your cheeks that manages to change his heart. Either way, it’s like he finally thinks you’ve done enough and don’t deserve to be waiting any longer. However, now it’s your turn to delay the action a bit. Placing your hand on his just wrapped firmly around his cock, you prevent him from covering it up just yet. There’s still precum shinning at the slit, and the head looks so sweet, you just need to know if it’d feel as good against your clit as it did on your tongue. It does. It’s soft and sleek, warm, it toys so pleasingly with your button and the visual, the visual is sinful. The cherry on top is the expression you catch on his face when you look up. Jungkook is as mesmerized as you are by the sight.

“I want you now, Guk.” It takes him a good five seconds during which he gauges your gaze. You’re not sure what he meant to find there. Doubt maybe? Disappointment? Probably. Disappointment matching his own for he seems to drag on the moment he separates your two sexes to proceed on slipping the condom on. You feel it too. The almost dread. There’s a vivid image of him jerking himself off against your clit that blinks furiously behind your eyelids. Fuck. It doesn’t help to see him tug at his cock and manipulate it between those beautiful veiny hands of his.

“Up.” You obey forthwith, pushing on your knees to let him place the tip just under you. His free hand push the crotch of your panties to the side, managing to sneak a couple of fingers between your lips. It makes him smile when he sees you unwittingly bucking your hips forward. “You control it all, ok? It’s like for my thigh, you just do what feels good to you, yeah?”

You nod. The rational part of your brain is freaking out but the greedy glutton that is the other side jumps on the occasion. Literally. In one swift motion, you've downed yourself completely on him, taking his cock entirely in, you’re almost positive you can feel him in your womb. It has him gasp loudly, cursing under his breath as his hands fly to your hips to squeeze them meanly. You don’t know if it’s a manifestation of a brusque and unexpected rush of pleasure or if you’ve hurt him as much as you hurt yourself. He should have done it. He’s the one that knows how to get you off. He gives you the power for five seconds and you manage to hurt the both of you with your incompetence and stupid hormones. It's not a good time to give up though. Not when he still has the steamiest kisses for your collarbones. You start rising up slowly this time, it’s decided you’re keeping it slow. It’s easier for you and brings you progressively to a more comfortable fit. Also as you take your time to free every inch and take them back in one by one, you get to feel him graze your walls. It’s a wonderful sensation. Being that filled up. Being on top of this man who’s still holding you like you’re holding his faith between your hands and he’s so willing to know what you’ll decide to do with it.

Lucky for him, you're feeling merciful. It’s hard not to when through the layers of sweat and crimson covering him into your lover, you still catch glimpses of your best friend. The cute little boy, forever the cure to your loneliness and adversities, the one person you would give up your whole life and its aspirations for. Even your family, you care so much about them, love them so dearly but you’re still marked by that time you had to come to the realization that your life was your own and you had to disappoint them by going against what they wanted for you just because it didn’t match your vision. But Jungkook, Jungkook could ask anything from you, anything and you’d give it to him. You’d give up on anything that’s ever meant something to you. Because he is everything. He's all the meaning your life owns. You’re not sure if it’s the right time but it’s there, sitting on his cock, riding him minutely that you feel a rush of utter love and adoration for the one friend that possesses your happiness since you were little. He's so sweet to have never withheld it from you but you know it depends on him. You could cry just meeting his pretty eyes looking back at you with as much fondness as your heart feels.

You’re getting too sappy, it’s ridiculous. You gather it comes from the pace, nice but not high enough to have you two focused entirely on the pleasure. Therefore you proceed to mix it up as much as your body would allow you. Switching the speed, the movements, rotating your hips instead of rising them, going back to jumping on it, just guiding yourself by his reactions, the quiet curses, the kneading of your flesh under his hands, the wincing of his features. He’s so hot. So sexy. You can’t keep your eyes off of him. You don’t even deliberately control your hips anymore. It’s just your body following closely Jungkook's advice. Doing whatever feels good.

“Guk, I’m close.” His eyes which had been closed for the past few minutes from the deep grinding of your hips against his pelvis suddenly shoot open. They’re not soft nor gentle anymore. All dark and intense again.

He grabs your face in his hand, the thumb digging in your left cheek as the rest of his fingers press the other one. Pressing his mouth hard to yours he asks, “Will you come for more?” He's harsh, voice severe as he doesn't speak but growl, sending an electric jolt to your spine. Soon the idea that there might be even more hidden wherever that Jungkook comes from is sending liquid fire to your cunt.

“Yes, yes, I will!” You gasp, blinking a tear down your cheek. He notices it and let his grip on your face to wipe it away. You’re about to come. You’re so fucking close. You can tell the ball of your orgasm has reached its maximum size, it just needs something, one little something to burst and annihilate everything else. “Why?” His hand is back to the side of your face, not rigid like before instead warmly cupping it. Eyes searching for yours, he presses, “Why is that? Baby, tell me please.”

“Cause you’re so goo-uh”

“Me or my cock?” He chuckles against your hair and you wonder how the fuck he has enough brains left to make jokes, when he’s that deep inside of you and must be, has to be, as close as you are.

“B-both” That makes him laugh again, that same mean chortle.

“Yes,” He’s moaning it so languidly. He relishes in the idea. “Shit- come here.” Jungkook presses down on your lower back, you follow leniently, like clay in his hands, laying entirely on top of him. He helps you raise your ass up higher and once you meet the perfect position to take it, he starts thrusting upward hard, slowly but brutally, each time you can hear the loup clap of his hips against your skin, you’re pretty sure it’s going to hurt tomorrow but for now, it feels fabulous.

It’s so rough and it feels like you’ve been going at it forever. The girth is dragging the ring of your hole along with the movement and that stimulation alone is electrifying. You’re almost there.

“Tell me- talk to me,” Desperation is laced closely to his tone now. It fits him so well, you're loving it. “Tell me y-you’ll come back to me for m-more, please.” He’s losing it, you can hear it in his tremble, his cute stutter. And the grunts he’s leaving between each needy word sound animalistic.

“I will, Jungkook.” It comes out before you even get to think the confession over. But as it does, you realize you mean them entirely. “I’ll always come back, you just, ah, you fuck me so well. So fucking good, your big cock always-” A particularly strong thrust, resembling more of a spasm, pushes a new tear down your cheek. “fills me up so good, you- no one has ever-“

“Fuck. No one has ever what?”

“Fucked me this good, shit.” Shockingly enough it’s your own words, filterless, genuine and born from the fabulous heat of this moment, that suffice to push your orgasm to the edge and make it explode and invade your whole being, body and mind. You don’t even take notice when Jungkook ends up coming, blinded and rendered deaf by your own pleasure.

It's when your erratic heart starts to calm down, and your muscles to relax, melting calmly into Jungkook’s body who’s welcoming you so kindly, not complaining about the heat or the weight or the stickiness, you gather he came too.

It’s incredible this sensation. Not that you’re proud of it but being taken over by pleasure so much so to render you selfish and clueless of your every surrounding, even your lover, it’s never happened before. You wonder if that’s not the precise reason why none of your before-Jungkook orgasms can compare.

As you land back safely on his chest, you're only granted a few minutes with his agitated heart beating under your cheek and his comforting warmth before your surroundings reappear to you, obnoxiously reminding themselves to existence. “Oh my god, Jimin!” You whisper yell in a theatrical gasp. It just makes Jungkook laugh. This moron.

“S’fine, he has Eun to discuss it with.” You raise up, fighting the fatigue, just to glare at him. It's the same stupid argument as last time. Except this time, it's so fucking worse. You still don't get how casual he can be about this. “I don’t care. Do you?”

a/n : Phew. That was a big chunk. If you made it this far, i thank you immensely. I’m sorry if the editing is a bit off, i’ve been looking at this piece of work for too long and my head is torturing me so yea, soz. What did you think? Tell me all your thoughts!! There’s still one chapter to go (but i don’t know when it’ll be up - i have other little spooky projects to attend to, i hope you guys don’t mind). ANYWAY. A beautiful week-end to you guys, kisses, love & 🍗🍜. :)

tag list : @lavscenery @busansgloss @batakookie @jwlmnbt @somewhereinthestarss @amanda-deann @feminist-goddess

#ksmutclub #gukkienet #btswriterscollective #networkbangtan #bts smut #jungkook smut #bts fanfic #jungkook fanfic #bts x reader #jungkook x reader #bts fluff #jungkook fluff #bts angst #jungkook angst #jungkook scenario #bts scenario #my writing

[inyournightmares97]

My Youth (Chapter 6)

Broken and miserable, Park Jinyoung returns to his hometown to learn that no matter how hard he falls, there are still people who think he’s a hero.

Warnings: Mentions of suicide/depression, death, angst, slow build, maybe some language.(Please don’t ask when I’ll update. Wait until the series is finished to read if you’re impatient.)

Word Count: 5.7k+

(Can’t put links to the other parts here, please check my Masterlist/the reblog for the Prologue and Chapters 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5)

“-Mom, I’m busy,” Jinyoung muttered into the phone. He had been sitting in a crucial meeting with the Finance Director of GOT Tech and representatives of the Financial Regulatory Board. Receiving approval for his company to go public was one of the most critical and risky steps in Jinyoung’s career.

His mother, however, had been calling him constantly for the last twenty minutes.

Mrs. Park sounded upset. “I’m sorry, Jinyoung, dear. I just needed to reach you-”

“Mom, I’m in an extremely important meeting right now. Do you know how it looks when the Managing Director of GOT Group keeps getting calls from his mother during business meetings? What do you want from me?” Jinyoung demanded in a frustrated whisper, running his fingers through his hair. He tried not to let his agitation show on his face; the other high-profile attendees of the meeting could still see him through the glass wall of the conference room.

“Jinyoung, there’s been a terrible tragedy in town,” his mother began nervously. “I don’t… I don’t know how to tell you this, but i suppose there’s no easy way to talk about a death.  Remember I told you that I’ve been going to the hospital every day to meet-”

Jinyoung felt a burst of irritation. The clock was ticking. The Board members were waiting for him impatiently and he could see the disapproval on their faces. “Mom, did you call me to tell me that someone died?”

“Well… yes, but-”

“Mom, I have been preparing for this presentation for months. The future of my company depends on this meeting. This is absolutely the worst time you could have chosen to tell me something like this,” Jinyoung muttered through gritted teeth. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. “Please don’t mess up my focus right now. We can talk about this later. Do you need anything from me urgently?”

Mrs. Park hesitated. “You always seem to be busy these days. I just thought… if we could maybe help out with the funeral expenses or the hospital bills…”

Jinyoung closed his eyes. “Mom, you can just call my secretary for that. She’ll send you whatever amount you need. Send them flowers from me or something, okay? I have to go now.”

“Take care, Jinyoung, dear-”

“Bye, Mom.”

Jinyoung hung up and sighed, pressing his fingers to his temple. His personal secretary had followed him out of the room and was watching him nervously. He hadn’t even asked his mother who it was that had passed away. Was it somebody he knew? Maybe it was best that he didn’t think about it too much for now.

“Take my Mom’s call and ask her who died, send them money for the funeral and all those formalities,” Jinyoung told his secretary shortly. She nodded and made a note of it on her phone quickly while Jinyoung cleared his mind.

Focus. The presentation. The numbers.  

Jinyoung took a deep, calming breath and plastered a rehearsed smile on his face before he turned to enter the conference room once more.

“I’m so sorry to keep you gentlemen waiting,” Jinyoung greeted all the well-dressed men with a bright smile. “I hope you can forgive me. Mothers seem to have a knack for calling at the most inconvenient times, don’t they?”

The men chuckled politely. “That’s perfectly fine, Mr. Park.”

“May I begin the presentation?”

“Please, do.”

--------

Jinyoung believed that to achieve something great, you needed to make certain sacrifices.

He had always known that the path he was embarking upon was not an easy one. Establishing your own business meant that you didn't get off work at 5 pm sharp, you couldn’t spend your weekends at a countryside cabin or getting drinks with your friends. You needed to keep working until things got done. You needed to compete in the market. You needed to be strong enough to pick up after your losses and clever enough to make friends in the right places. People were depending on you.

Jinyoung hadn’t merely chosen a career, he had chosen a life.

A very lonely life.

Whenever his mother would call him and try to have a casual chat, Jinyoung would find himself irritated. Who cared whether Mrs. Lee from the grocery store was giving a discount on strawberry bread? What did it matter if Mr. Cha had been trying to sell his little farmland? There was important work to be done. Jinyoung needed to talk to the advertising agents to make sure his products were being launched properly, he needed to negotiate discounts with suppliers to ensure he could meet the planned pricing goals. There were employees relying on him. There were investors who had trusted him with their money. There were quarterly goals that had to be met.

Every second of Jinyoung’s time was precious. Why couldn’t everyone understand that? Why couldn’t his mother stop thinking that her tiny little world in this tiny little town was everything, and understand the importance of what her son was doing?

There are a limited number of hours every man has at his disposal. We each make a conscious choice regarding how to spend each one.

It was only now, standing in front of your mother’s grave, that Jinyoung came a terrifying realization.

He had made the wrong choices.

------

“It was heart failure,” Mrs. Park whispered.

Jinyoung’s hands clutched the cup of tea firmly. It was hot and uncomfortable, but not more than the sick feeling in his stomach. Every word his mother spoke made him feel more pathetic.

What had he been doing all those months while your mother was in hospital and when she’d died? Preparing for his company to go public? Sitting in meetings and sucking up to corporate officials? Only to be fired and thrown out of the company. Only to have missed the death of somebody who had trusted him and cared for him.

“But she couldn’t have been that old…” Jinyoung muttered.

Mrs. Park shook her head softly. “She’d always had a weak heart, Jinyoung. Her health was fragile and after her husband passed away she had no choice but to work to support her daughter. All those long hours and late nights for years… they took their toll in the end. She had her first stroke three years ago. She was in hospital for a few weeks and then she had the second one; the one that took her life.”

Jinyoung closed his eyes, remembering your mother in his mind’s eye.

“She always looked tired. And worried.”

“She was.” Mrs. Park reached out and placed a hand over her son’s nervously. “I’m sorry, Jinyoung. I should have told you about it sooner. But you were always so busy in Seoul, always doing important things. It never seemed like the right time to tell you about something so devastating. It’s my fault.”

Jinyoung let out a small scoff. “Don’t take the blame on yourself. That doesn’t help me.”

Mrs. Park looked upset. “Jinyoung-”

She was interrupted by a loud knocking at the front door. Jinyoung closed his eyes and pressed his fingers to his temple while he listened to his father go to the door and yell at the person on the other side. The reporters had already found his home address. They had started arriving one-by-one since this morning. Each of them desperately wanted an interview with Park Jinyoung, the man who had lost his empire overnight. They wanted to know what he had to say about his dismissal from his own company.

Mr. Park re-entered the living room and sighed. “They’re getting more persistent. I think I should call the local police before they start trying to shove their way into our house.”

Jinyoung nodded and stood up. “I’ll go down to the police station myself and ask them to send someone to deal with this harrassment. Mom, you’ve told everyone we know to deny any reporters who request them for an interview, right?”

“Yes, but is it really a good idea for you to be going outside now-”

“I think I’ll lose my mind if I stay indoors,” Jinyoung muttered. He grabbed the black hoodie that was slung over the back of the sofa and glanced at his parents. They were both looking at him with wide, worried eyes.

Jinyoung felt a sudden wave of guilt wash over him; why should they have to deal with so much because of his mistakes? Why was he always the one taking and yet never giving?

“I’m sorry,” he apologized softly. “I’ll try and be back for dinner.”

------

Jinyoung’s legs carried him naturally towards the elementary school.

Perhaps it was a subconscious urge to see you, even though he had no idea what he would say if you really appeared before him. Anything Jinyoung could have said to help should have been said three years ago. Words like I’m sorry seemed like an insensitive joke at this point; too little and far too late.

Jinyoung sat silently on the bench by the schoolyard with his face covered by his dark hoodie, and wondered how his life had brought him to this point.

Left with nothing with shame.

“Ahjussi!”

By the time Jinyoung looked up, there was already a tiny figure running straight towards him at full speed. He flinched and braced himself for the impact; only to have the small boy stop centimetres away from him and throw his arms around him happily. Jinyoung stiffened.

“What-”

“Ahjussi, you are Park Jinyoung!” Ki-woo cried delightedly. The boy was beaming. Jinyoung noticed for the first time that one of his front teeth was missing, but it was still one of the brightest smiles he had ever seen. “Miss told me yesterday! Why did you lie and say you weren't? I can’t believe the King of the Playground walked me home after school and I didn’t even know!”

Jinyoung couldn’t resist a small smile. The sight of the little boy bouncing on his feet warmed him for a moment and he patted Ki-woo on the head. “If somebody asked Clark Kent if he was Superman, he wouldn’t say yes, now would he?”

Ki-woo’s eyes widened in understanding. “Wow. That’s so true! You’re so cool!”

“You’ll have to keep my secret.”

“Of course I will! Ahjussi, can you tell me how you did it? How did you manage to climb the oak tree?” Ki-woo demanded, grabbing Jinyoung’s arm and tugging on it eagerly. “You have to tell me, you just have to! Were you really tall?”

Jinyoung blinked. “Tall? Not particularly…”

“Then how? How did you do it?”

Jinyoung opened his mouth to respond but he was cut off by a loud yell. He had been so preoccupied with Ki-woo that he hadn’t noticed the much larger man that was making his way across the school yard. Jackson Wang had a huge smile on his face and without greeting, he threw his arms around Jinyoung in a fierce hug.

“Park Jinyoung! Look who finally decided to grace us with his presence!” Jackson cried happily. He pulled back and noticed the blank look on Jinyoung’s face. With a frown, he pointed to himself eagerly. “Remember me? Jackson! Jackson Wang! You used to pass me all the answers in History class!”

Jinyoung swallowed. “Uh…”

“Mr. Wang, you’re friends with Park Jinyoung?” Ki-woo asked, his mouth gaping open.

Jackson blinked and looked down at the boy sheepishly. “Ah, Ki-woo. I didn’t see you down there. Didn’t your teacher tell you to wait inside until someone came to pick you up? Go back indoors now.”

Ki-woo pouted. “But-”

“Nope. Back inside. Now.”

Jackson waited until Ki-woo began to slouch back towards the school building and then turned back to Jinyoung. “Man, you’re pretty much the celebrity around these parts now, eh? We had a couple of reporters come by the school this morning, asking for anyone who used to know you. You have nothing to worry about! I scared them off. These babies aren’t here for nothing,” Jackson beamed and flexed his bare bicep.

Jinyoung didn’t really know how to respond. “Nice.”

Jackson narrowed his eyes. “You do remember me, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course-”

“We should get drinks sometime and catch up now that you’re back in town! Man, I really owe you. You did me a solid one that Christmas before you left, remember? I’ll buy you a couple of beers at the pub. What’s your phone number?” Jackson demanded.

“I don’t really have a phone right now…”

“Don’t have a phone?” Jackson looked confused. “Weird but okay. I guess I can always ask Miss First Grade to get in touch with you. I can’t believe she didn’t tell me you were back in town!” he cried, slapping Jinyoung’s arm playfully. “Hold on… you’re here to see her, aren’t you?”

Jinyoung cleared his throat. “Not exactly…”

Jackson chuckled knowingly. “No worries, man. I’ve got your back. I need to go inside and take care of the kids now, so I’ll tell her to come out and meet you here, yeah? Let me know if any more of those reporters come around. I’ll take handle them for you!”

Jinyoung forced a smile. “Thanks-”

“No problem, man. It’s what friends are for. We’ll catch up soon!”

“Sure.”

Jinyoung watched Jackson half-run back to the school building, letting out a sigh of relief. Each person he came across in this town seemed to remember something about him and the one who possessed the most dangerous knowledge was Jackson Wang. In addition to having been the resident supplier of inappropriate magazines and the one who’d convinced Jinyoung to try his first cigarette behind the park back in high school, Jackson simply knew a little too much about everybody.

Jinyoung sat down on the bench and took a deep breath. He just realized that Jackson had said he would send you out to meet him. Why hadn’t he told him not to? He wasn’t prepared to face you. Idiot.

It was a few minutes before you emerged from the school building and walked towards Jinyoung. There was a pleasant smile on your face as you approached, and it made Jinyoung’s stomach turn. How could you smile at him like that? How could you be so calm about everything?

“Jinyoung,” you greeted him, confused. “Should you be roaming around out here? There are reporters buzzing all around town.”

Jinyoung cleared his throat. “Uh. Yeah, I know. Jackson said he drove them away...”

You rolled your eyes. “That idiot Jackson Wang? He was fully prepared to seize his five minutes of fame by telling them how you used to help him cheat in History class. I had to step in and force him to deny the request for an interview,” you muttered. Jinyoung’s eyes widened and you gave him a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry. I sent a message to the principal of the middle school and the high school. Nobody’s going to give any interviews about you.”

Jinyoung felt small.

“Thanks,” he muttered.

“Did they find your house?”

“Yeah. They’ve been knocking the door all day. It’s really starting to bother Mom and Dad.”

Your expression was sympathetic. “Should I call the police?”

“Don’t worry. I was going to go down to the station myself and ask them to send someone to get rid of the reporters,” Jinyoung reassured you. He felt his heartbeat thump wildly as he looked at your gently smiling face. Should he say it? Should he talk about the elephant in the room? Even though he hadn’t prepared what to say?

“About… about last night…”

You blinked. “Yeah?”

He sighed. “About your mother. I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I know that’s no excuse, but I should have been there and-”

You cut him off with a forced smile. “Jinyoung. It’s okay. It’s not like you could have done anything for her even if you were here, you’re not a doctor. Everyone did the best they could.”

Jinyoung swallowed. “I might not have been able to help her. But… I should have been there for you.”

The smile dropped from your face. What could you say? Jinyoung’s eyes were filled with shame but it wasn’t the right time for him to be offering condolences. That time had long passed.

But you still remembered his words from last night as he’d hugged you. I don’t feel as alone when I’m here. Jinyoung had been through so much. How could you say anything to such a broken man except for it’s okay? How could you offer him anything but comfort when he had nobody but you?

How could you not be the bigger person when he was suffering?

“It’s fine, Jinyoung,” you promised him softly. “You don’t need to worry about it.”

“How can I not-”

“Seriously. Please. It’s in the past and nobody was to blame. It happened around the time your company was going public, so I can only imagine how chaotic your life and work must have been back then. I don’t resent you.”

Jinyoung looked up at you in disbelief. “How can you not?”

“I just… don’t. It’s fine.”

“Do you really mean that? Do you really mean that?” he demanded.

“I do,” you insisted firmly. You glanced at your watch and sighed. “Wow, it’s getting late. We have a PTA fundraiser at school tonight so I need to start setting up. Oh! Did you bring my bicycle by any chance?” you asked him hopefully.

Jinyoung shook his head. “Uh, no. The reporters were in front of my house so I slipped out through the back…”

“Can you drop it by the school later? I’m going to staying back pretty late because I have to wrap up after the event is over. It might even take till midnight and the buses stop running at 9 so I need a way to get home. It’s not too much trouble, is it?”

“No, that’s fine. I’ll drop it off here later.”

You gave him a small smile as you turned to go back indoors. “Bye, Jinyoung.”

“Bye.”

---------------------------

The PTA fundraiser left you drained of energy.

You would much rather have dealt with a hundred kids at once than with a handful of parents. At least kids could be made to see reason, they could be convinced with a little bit of logic (however flawed). Adults, on the other hand, believed that they knew best and that things had to be done exactly the way they wanted. Adults were unreasonable. Adults liked to throw around their authority.

You had never wanted to get into bed so badly.

You stayed back late to clean up after the fundraiser was over. It wasn’t required of you, but it was something that you somehow ended up volunteering to do. All the other teachers had families to go home to and kids to take care of. You only had an empty apartment.

Asking them to stay back instead of you felt selfish.

You slung your bag over your shoulder and trudged out into the parking lot to see that the bicycle racks were empty. Shit. Had Jinyoung forgotten to leave the bicycle behind for you? Where was he?

You pulled out your cell phone and then sighed. Damn Park Jinyoung. He didn’t even have a stupid phone. It was far past the time that Mr. and Mrs. Park would have gone to bed and you didn't want to wake them by calling them. But your apartment was too far to walk and you would have to pass by the pub; you had no interest in meeting the town’s drunkards alone in those narrow alleys  at midnight.

You sighed and dialled another number.

“Jackson, hey. I’m so sorry, I know you just left a little while ago, but…”

-------------------

It was 1am when you heard a loud banging on your front door.

You had just finished taking a shower and were getting ready to slip into bed when the noise began. Your heartbeat racing, you grabbed hold of a kitchen knife quickly and then slowly approached your door.

“Who’s there?” you yelled out, voice shaking.

The voice that replied was muffled. “Jinyoung!”

Jinyoung? At this time of night?

You opened the door carefully. The first thing that hit you was the awful smell; Jinyoung stank of sweat and cheap beer. His eyes were red and his face flushed as he looked at you almost wildly.

“Are you okay?” he demanded, grabbing your shoulders to look at you properly. His hands were trembling and he seemed unaware of how loud his voice was. “Are you all right? I was looking for you everywhere!”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “Wow, you’re drunk.”

Jinyoung’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry- I’m so, so, sorry-”

“How about you come inside before you bring my neighbours running over with all of your noise?” you snapped. You had little patience for drunks, and knowing that Jinyoung had been out getting drunk instead of returning your bicycle did not please you. “Where have you been?”

Jinyoung stared at you helplessly, his arms waving around as he spoke. “I-I was just going to get one drink, I swear. But it led to another and I totally forgot about your bike and I was so scared that you might have walked home because I know that path passes by the pub and it’s not safe-”

“Relax,” you told Jinyoung as you guided him gently towards your couch. “I didn't walk. I called Jackson, he drove me home.”

“Jackson? Wang? Why? Are you guys close?” he asked, plopping down heavily on the couch.

You shrugged. “He’s a good friend.”

Jinyoung paused for a moment and then hung his head quietly.

“We used to be good friends.”

You looked down at Jinyoung properly. He was a wreck. His dark hair was a tangled mess and the light blue dress shirt he was wearing was wrinkled with a beer stain on it. There were even large sweat stains under his arms; he’d probably cycled all the way here in a panic.

And he’s one of the Most Eligible Bachelors under 40. If only the magazine had seen him like this.

“We’re still friends,” you told him lightly. “Although it wouldn’t do any harm to return my bicycle when I ask for it. Do you want a glass of water?”

Jinyoung blinked at you dazedly. “Do you have beer?”

“Absolutely not. Haven’t you had enough?”

His lower lip pouted slightly as he stared down at the floor. “I’ve been drinking all evening but I haven’t reached the point where I feel good or forget about my problems yet. In fact, I keep thinking about them even more. How about a cigarette?”

“You will not smoke in my house,” you told him with a firm glare.

To your surprise, Jinyoung suddenly smiled. It was only a gentle curve of his lips but you spotted it and frowned at him with your arms folded across your chest. “Are you feeling proud of yourself right now? Do you think your behaviour is something to laugh about?” you demanded.

Jinyoung looked up at you softly. “No.”

“Then why are you-”

“Because this is the first time you’ve given me that look since I came back,” Jinyoung admitted quietly. His voice trembled. “This is the first time you got angry at me. You don’t seem to get angry at me anymore.”

You didn’t understand. “Why would you want me to be angry at you-”

“Because you have to be angry with someone before you can forgive them. You have to first admit that they hurt you or that they did something wrong, and only then can you begin to repair your relationship,” Jinyoung whispered. He looked up at you and you could see the tears brimming in his eyes. “So tell me honestly. Have you forgiven me already?”

You swallowed. “I was never mad at you to begin with-”

“You’re lying.”

You clenched your fists as your heartbeat thudded. “I’m not lying. You’re drunk. You should drink some water and you can sleep on the couch-”

Jinyoung looked up at you, his eyes bloodshot yet surprisingly clear. “You are lying. Either you’re lying or you’re not the same girl I remember.”

“Why would you say that?”

“Because the girl I knew wouldn’t have pretended to forgive a friend to spare his feelings. She would have grabbed me by the shirt, looked me in the eye, and said Park Jinyoung, you’re an absolute bastard for leaving me here when I was having a hard time. She wouldn’t have spared my feelings. She would have expected me to be there for her because that’s what friends do. They count on each other.”

You closed your eyes. How had Jinyoung seen right through you? Even after 10 years, how could he see through you like you were made of glass?

“I’m not angry,” you tried to tell him slowly, even though you weren’t sure who you were convincing anymore. “Because I never expected you to be there. You were busy and I had no expectations-”

Jinyoung scoffed. “You’re lying again.”

“I’m not-”

“You are. Friendship is when you help someone, because you trust that they would do the same for you. What you’re doing for me isn’t friendship. You don’t trust me anymore. If you have no expectations from me, then that’s charity!” Jinyoung spat out. Tears were brimming in his eyes and his voice was choked. “Is that what I am to you? Charity?”

You clenched your fists and let out a small, humourless laugh. “I can’t believe I’m hearing this.”

“What?”

“Where the fuck do you get off accusing me of treating you like charity? After what you did?” you snapped.

Jinyoung stared at you blankly. “Tell me.”

Your throat closed up. You didn’t want to talk about it. You didn’t want to drag yourself back to what had been the lowest point of your life, especially not in front of Jinyoung. You didn’t know who he was to you anymore. How could you open up to him?

“I can’t,” you muttered. “I don’t want to talk about it, Jinyoung.”

“Please,” Jinyoung whispered. “Please. At least tell me I was a terrible friend for not being there. Tell me I was a terrible friend for not even knowing about your mother.”

You took a deep breath and sat down, your knees feeling weak. You had never imagined that you would have to sit next to Jinyoung and say these words to him while he was drunk. Yet, as his dark eyes pierced into yours, he looked more sober than ever.

“It was my fault she died,” you whispered, shakily. “I know how hard my Mom worked to raise me. I know how much she struggled after my Dad passed away. The doctor told me her heart attack was probably caused by stress- years of it. She was growing old but she’d never even gone for a health check-up because we couldn’t afford it.”

Jinyoung stared at you silently.

“I needed someone to say this to back then,” you admitted quietly. “I needed someone who would listen to me and who wouldn’t try to convince me that it wasn’t my fault or that I didn't do anything wrong. That’s what everyone kept doing. They kept trying to comfort me but I just wanted someone who would listen. I wanted you,” you mumbled.

Jinyoung only nodded. His hands reached out to take both of yours. He grasped them tightly.

“I knew you were busy, but I always had this hope that maybe you would come to the funeral,” you whispered. “I thought… surely, whatever I did to make you cut me off, it wasn’t so bad that you wouldn't even turn up to my mother’s funeral. But the truth was that I couldn’t grieve properly because the hospital was hounding me about the bills, I…”

You took a deep breath. You hated thinking about those moments. You had felt so helpless and alone, backed into a corner. “I don’t think it even sank in that my mother was dead until a few days later,” you mumbled. “ I spent the first day wondering how the hell I was going to pay the hospital bills instead of thinking about her. Your mother tried comforting me, she told me it would all be fine and that she would call you for help.”

Jinyoung closed his eyes; tears were clinging to his eyelashes.

“She did,” he mumbled.

You felt the walls around you come crashing down as you looked at the broken man in front of you. You remembered how badly you’d wanted to see him then, how much you’d craved his comfort. You remembered how furious you had been when you realized that Jinyoung had abandoned you.

“I thought you would call,” you mumbled. “I didn’t want to disturb you but at the same time I trusted that you wouldn’t leave me alone at a time like that.”

Jinyoung’s voice was soft. “I’m sorry.”

“It would have been better if you hadn't done anything at all,” you mumbled. “Maybe then I could have forgotten about it in the mess that I was going through. But you didn’t. I got a call from your secretary the night before the funeral.”

Jinyoung lowered his head. His hands were trembling even as they held yours and you could hear his soft sniffle. “Shit,” he muttered, his voice thick with tears. “Shit, I can’t believe-”

“I thought you’d finally called. But it wasn’t you. I had to hear some strange woman tell me over the phone that Park Jinyoung is sorry he can’t make it to the funeral but he sends his condolences,” you choked out. You smiled humorlessly. “As if I was some distance acquaintance you barely knew. You sent me your condolences through your secretary.”

“I didn’t- I didn’t know it was you…”

“And then she told me that if I would just email her a copy of the hospital and funeral bills then all the expenses would be taken care of,” you mumbled. “She said that she could send me as much as I needed, no limit. I was so embarrassed. I wanted-I wanted to tell her that you could go fuck yourself and that I didn’t want your condolences and your money. I wanted to refuse so badly, but…”

You hung your head in shame. “But I couldn’t,” you whispered. “I couldn’t say that to her because it was true. I had no other way of paying those bills. So I sent her the details and I let you pay for them. Whether you know it or not, you paid for all my mother’s hospital bills and funeral while I sat here and wondered how I had become such a worthless daughter.”

Jinyoung’s hands clasped yours so tightly that it hurt. His shoulders were shaking and you could see the sobs racking his chest. “I didn’t mean to-” he sobbed. Jinyoung’s tears landed on your clasped hands. “I didn’t mean to, I swear…”

You slowly removed your hands from his. “I have the accounts,” you muttered. “I’ve been saving up to pay you back. It might take me a few more years but-”

Jinyoung flinched. “Don’t say that.”

“It’s not open to discussion, Jinyoung.”

“Don’t say you’ll pay me back, please-”

“I will pay you back,” you said firmly. You took a deep breath. “You know why? Because I might be able to forgive you for not being there when I needed you. But I will never, never forget how cheap I felt the moment I ended that phone call. So don’t talk to me about charity; I know how it feels to be on the other end of it.”

Jinyoung closed his eyes. He felt light-headed and blank as he thought about everything you’d said. No wonder you didn’t consider him a friend. No wonder you couldn't bring yourself to be honest with him. No wonder there was something fake and forced about your every smile.

Jinyoung hadn’t just messed up.

He had destroyed something precious to him without even realizing it.

“It’s late,” you mumbled after a brief silence. “You should go to sleep. Here, just; make yourself comfortable on the couch and I’ll get you a blanket and some pillows.”

Jinyoung swallowed. “I-I can’t…”

“You’re not going anywhere at this time of night while you’re drunk,” you told him. You pushed him lightly so that he leaned back against the sofa. “Stay put. I’ll be back. I think we’ve talked enough for tonight.”

“Can you just promise me one thing?” Jinyoung asked quietly.

“What’s that?”

“Even if you don’t consider me your friend anymore, even if you’re just being nice to me because you’re that kind of a caring person… don’t give up on me completely.” Jinyoung looked up at you desperately. “Please. Tell me that I can fix things. Tell me I haven’t broken our friendship and my life beyond repair.”

You looked down at him. Lying on your couch in his crumpled dress shirt and the beer stains, Jinyoung looked pathetic. Perhaps it was because you’d finally let out all the resentment you’d been bottling up for so long. Perhaps it was because, looking into Jinyoung’s eyes now, you could see that he did care. But you suddenly didn’t feel so hollow anymore.

You didn’t feel so lonely in your pain.

“Everything can be fixed, Jinyoung,” you told him softly.

“Even us?” he mumbled.

You nodded. “Even us.”

“Even me?”

“Especially you.”

Jinyoung slowly closed his eyes and you went into the other room to get him a spare pillow and a blanket. He let you place the pillow under his head and snuggled into the soft blanket. You turned to switch off the light when you heard him mumble.

“You know something?”

“What, Jinyoung?”

“I thought that the most unbearable thing about being fired from the company was all the effort I’d put into it. I thought I couldn’t bear it because I’d done so much for it for the years,” he said slowly.

You blinked at his curled up figure under the blanket.

“But it’s not?” you asked.

Jinyoung shook his head. “It’s not how much I’ve done for the company that I can’t bear. It’s how much I sacrificed for it.”

-------------------

#got7 #got7 scenarios #got7 scenario #got7 angst #park jinyoung #got7 jinyoung #jinyoung angst #jinyoung scenario #got7 imagines #got7 drabbles #got7 series #got7 fanfiction #jinyoung fanfic #jinyoung my youth

[theycallmemrgluskin]

Letting it all out.

I’ve decided to vent this one all out so if you don’t like negative stuff, then just stop here and know that I’m in a rough situation right now.

With that said I’ll start off from the beginning.

Last week I got caught up with a few things in my personal life and then when I checked my shifts on roster I noticed my shifts had been cut back which is very unusual for a night staff. We always do 7 on 7 off if that makes sense. So when I saw that someone else had been given my shifts I was really hitting rock bottom. I honestly spent my first nightshift last Thursday night crying. On top of that my Team leader asked me to come in for a performance review, which at first i was excited about until I had been told another staff member had taken all of my shifts. Then I started to dread the harsh reality of things.

What if someone had said something to the team leader and made me out to be unprofessional? Because in a work place that is dominated by shitty, bitchy women that act like a bunch of school girls...everyone is out to get each other.Which is sad considering we have a job to do and have to act as a team to properly take care of the clients we look after.

So I tried to keep to myself on Friday but again reality daunted on me. Where are my friends when I need them? I felt alone, nobody ever checks in on me, nobody ever really cares about me. It hits pretty hard when you feel like youve done something wrong and then feel like all the people around you treat you like a palgue. Like you are stupid and aren’t worth talking to unless you need something from me. Hell even one person I thought I was close to hasn’t even bothered to talk to me. SO Ive given up on the idea of having friends, of talking and venting things out because it feels like I’ve been here for so long in this dark box. Like sometimes I watch my friends and how they all rp together and yet there me, just watching and waiting and I know its none of their faults, they have their own verses. Its just hard seeing some of your friends happy together and when you try to involve yourself you just feel like crap.

It brings back memories of someone who used and abused me and manipulated me and everything they used to say about the others and how I was being treated. Idk maybe this is also partly my own fault for not reaching out to my friends but in all honesty who reaches out to their friends just to complain? Thats why I haven’t bothered to contact any of them because I feel bad, I don’t want friends to think the only reason I’m talking to them is to bitch about things. Whether its work or rping.

I’ve felt like this for a long time but I suppose it just took for me to hit pretty hard to realize how I’ve truly been feeling deep down.

Ontop of that I had my ‘performance review’ today and its absolutely pissed me off and hit harder then a ten tone tessy.

There are two reasons why I was taken off nights.

1. Apparently I am not cleaning to the Team Leaders liking. This actually devastated me because if you know me in person, I clean, I clean and clean and clean and I know I leave that place spotless. However the TL says when she comes in its a mess. I honestly wish I had of kept taking photos of how clean things where before i left just to prove to her that I am doing my job.

I explained to her in depth of the things I clean, the areas that get dirty the most, what I clean with exactly and what I find works best with certain things. SHe took all of that in and I even told her of a few complaints i have with other staff not doing their job. Will they get into trouble? NO, because they aren’t night staff and it seems to me that nightstaff always cop the blunt of it because Day staff often look at their jobs, sign them off, but never do them because to them they don’t want to and it can be left for ‘nightstaff’ to do it all. Which again comes down to the fact that I do it all, I work so hard that I put in so much effort into it and yet here I am copping bs because other staff can’t clean and can’t do their proper jobs.

I honestly would like to know whats a mess, whats dirty, when i leave? Because everything I do I keep clean and I clean more then whats just on my sheet of to-do-list.

So this has hit pretty hard for me and I’m at that point where I just don’t care anymore. If they stumble upon this then so it may be, I’ve done everything I can, I have worked till my back aches and my hands heart from constantly scrubbing and cleaning and going up and above. And here I am, feeling like shit, being told that part of the problem is that fact I can’t clean to top grade when thats exactly what I do and I now have to redeem myself. Like wtf? why does everyone else have to come first, why can’t people actually listen to me and understand I am doing my job? why don’t people understand there are two sides to a coin?! seriously, why?

2. thing that has come against me is another staff member. Which proves just how fucked up my work place is and how they seem to favorite certain people. In a nutshell this other staff member stepped down from a higher position and wanted to do nightshifts and because I am a casual and they are a permanent part time, I literally copped the short straw of it all. Heres the funny thing, legally I have to be informed of this and legally I have to agree to completely lose ALL of my shifts because thats what they have done and left me with no shifts at all. Which in a legal point of view is wrong. Casual is understandable shifts can be taken away and its never guaranteed, but to take them all away and leave the staff member with nothing, even though said staff member has put in inquiries about it and never informed, yeah...you get the point.

I’ve just been feeling like I’m getting treated unfairly in every situation I’m put in and to be honest, I am very much over it. Where is my turn to actually feel appreciated? I’m just over this feeling, this damn rollercoaster of trying and failing so hard only to be felt like a fool at the end.

#[absolute negative] #{ooc}; voice of the mun

[queenmiranda-01]

The Royal Couple                            Chapter 8 - Secrets Unsealed

Liam x Miranda (MC)

Hi and thanks for reading my story. I apologize that this chapter took so long to release but I did a lot of rewrites to try and get it almost perfect. I hope you enjoy it and hopefully Chapter 9 will not take me long to write.  Also please visit my MASTER LIST via the link at the top if you would like to get caught up on previous chapters.

Please know that I am not a professional writer so I apologize for any misspellings or improper grammar structure. As always I welcome all feedback both positive and negative. Thank you!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters as they belong to Pixleberry Studios. I’m just using them for fictional entertainment purposes

(Miranda pauses as her heart begins to race with panic. She knows that she has to tell Liam the truth but these are the words that she has been dreading to say out loud since she and Liam became engaged. Liam’s heart is aching to see Miranda this upset and looks at her with tears in his eyes)

Liam: (His voice slightly shaky with a sad tone) What is it Baby? Talk to me please? I can't help you if you don't tell me what’s bothering you.

(Liam grabs Miranda’s hand and kisses it and then holds her hand in his own. Miranda looks up and meets Liam’s eyes and he sees the most terrified look on Miranda’s face. Her eyes are red from the tears that are building up and occasionally escaping down her cheeks. She opens her mouth and releases a shaky breath as if she is afraid to speak. She finally blurts out what she wants to say)

Miranda: (Cries loudly) I’M TERRIFIED OF LOSING YOU AGAIN!!!!!!

(Revealing her greatest fear of losing Liam is too much for her to bear and Miranda breaks-down and cries hysterically. Liam immediately embraces Miranda and holds her tightly against his chest as Miranda continues to cry on his shoulder. Liam is absolutely devastated to see Miranda like this. He cannot contain his emotions and tears flow down his face as he continues to hold his wife tightly and tries to comfort her.)

Liam: (Heartbroken) I’m so sorry Baby! I had no idea you were this afraid.... You will never loose me my love, I promise you!  I love you so much Sweetheart!! I’m so sorry!

(Liam continues to hold Miranda tightly in his arms and tries to calm her down but she continues to cry hysterically)

Miranda: (Crying Hysterically) I’M SORRY I KNOW I SHOULDN'T BE ACTING THIS WAY BUT YOU DON’T KNOW HOW DEVASTATING IT WAS FOR ME TO BE TAKEN AWAY FROM YOU AND TO THINK THAT YOU DIDN’T LOVE MEEE!!!!  (She holds Liam tightly as her body slightly shakes and she continues to breakdown and reveal her greatest fears) I THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN AND IT KILLED ME!!!!........ I CAN’T GO THROUGH THAT AGAIN!!!! I JUST CAN’T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! .........I'M SO AFRAID LIAM!!!!! .....I KNOW I SHOULDN'T BE BUT I  CAN'T HELP IT!!!! .......... IN MY MIND THOSE GUARDS ARE ALWAUS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR WAITING TO TAKE ME AWAY FROM YOU!!!!!!!!

Liam: (Tears begin to escape his eyes as he continues to hold  his wife as close to him as he can to comfort her)  Baby you know I could never ever stop loving you, no matter what, Please don’t ever forget that my love!........it’s ok Sweetheart I’m here and I’m never letting you go.......it’s alright, it’s alright Baby.........I’m here and no one is ever going to hurt you or take you away from me again.  I swear on my life I will NEVER let that happen to you.......Ok, ok sssh ok Baby it’s ok.

(Liam holds the back of Miranda’s head and caresses her back as Miranda buries her head into Liam’s shoulder. Liam can feel Miranda’s tears trickle down his bare chest.)

Liam: (Heartbroken) I’m so sorry Sweetheart I had no idea!! I love you so much..... Ok, it’s ok......Sssh it’s ok........I got you Baby, it’s ok, I’m right here....I’m here Sweetie, you’re safe I promise.......(Softly) Sssh I got you, you're ok Baby I’m here....... no one is ever going to take you away from me again.....I promise no one will ever hurt you like that again. I love you so much!

(After several minutes Miranda eventually begins to calm down and Liam shifts her onto his lap. Miranda rest her head against Liam’s chest and sniffs the last of her tears away as Liam wraps both of his arms around his wife and holds her tightly)

Liam: (Apologetically) Miranda I am so sorry that you have had to live with this fear for so long. It's all my fault. Can you ever forgive me my love?

(Miranda lifts her head off of Liam's chest and looks at him questionably)

Miranda: Liam what are you talking about?

Liam: This fear you have is all because of me. I allowed those guards to take you away from me that night. (Tears fill in his eyes and his voice shakes) I was only concerned about your physical safety and I inconsiderately neglected your emotional state of mind. I was so STUPID! I should have known! I should have stopped them but I didn't and now it kills me to know that my actions have caused you to have to live with this heartache. I will never forgive myself for hurting you like this, NEVER!

Miranda:  No it’s not your fault. You were trying to protect me and keep me safe I know that! Oh Sweetheart I love you and I know you have always had my best interest at heart.

Liam: (Liam still with tears in his eyes shakes his head) No I failed you! Having you being afraid all of the time and constantly looking over your shoulder and living in fear is not keeping you safe. (He places his hand on Miranda’s cheek and looks at her with the saddest eyes) I can’t believe I caused you all of this pain. I’m so sorry Baby!

(Miranda caresses Liam’s face as he looks at her with tears in his eyes and she sees the heartbreak in his face)

Miranda: Liam no, stop please! You have nothing to be sorry about and I don’t want you to think for a single second that you have ever hurt me or caused me any pain in my life. (Tears being to fill in her eyes again and her voice becomes shaky as she continues) You have loved me unconditionally since the day I met you so its not possible to hurt or cause pain to someone that you love so much.

Liam: But I don’t want you to be afraid all of the time, I want you to be happy here. This is your home and I want you to feel safe.

Miranda: Sweetie I am happy here and thats because of you. I love you and you make me feel so loved and safe when I am with you. Yes I’m terrified of losing you but that doesn’t mean that I don’t love our life together.

Liam: (With tears in his eyes and and a sad pleading look on his face) But you’re not going to lose me. I promise you Baby I will not allow that to happen again. I told you before that no one is going to keep us apart and I will always protect you and keep you safe. (Liam pulls Miranda into a warm hug and holds the back of her head and caresses her back) Oh Sweetheart tell me what I can do to take your fears away, whatever you need Baby just tell me and I’ll do it.

(Miranda pulls back slightly from Liam’s hug, gives him a sweet little kiss and smiles at him lovingly)

Miranda: Just continue to love me like you always have. You have no idea how safe I feel every time you hold me, kiss me, and make love to me. It truly is the best feeling in the world for me.

Liam: I have loved you every second of every day since the moment we first met and I’ll never stop. Loving you is the only that keeps me going, you know that don’t you?

(Miranda smiles at Liam and places her hand on his cheek)

Miranda: Of course I know that and that is one of the reasons why I love you as much as I do. (Miranda grabs a tissue off of her night stand and blows her nose and tosses the tissue in the waste can near her bed. She wipes her eyes and takes a deep breathe) God I feel so embarrassed and stupid right now.

Liam: You’re NOT stupid and you have NOTHING to be embarrassed about.

Miranda: Really because that’s not how I see it. I mean I know how crazy I sound crying that I’m afraid I’m going to lose you and be taken away from you because I know that there is no way in Hell that is going to happen but I...(She closes her eyes and tries not to become emotional again) I just can’t shake this fear no matter how hard I try.

Liam: Honey its obvious that events that took place at the Coronation deeply traumatized you, so it’s only natural for you to have so much anxiety about it.

Miranda: But that’s just it I shouldn’t have all of this anxiety and fear over something I know isn’t going to happen. I need to find a way to get over this fear.

(Liam takes Miranda’s hands in his)

Liam: (Softly & Sweetly) We’ll figure it out together, ok (Miranda smiles at Liam and nods her head “Yes” as Liam places his hand on her cheek) I just wish you would have told me about this sooner. It kills me to learn that you have been haunted by this for so long.

(Miranda sighs and looks a little remorseful)

Miranda: I know I should have told you but the truth is I was a little embarrassed and I know you have more important things to worry about than your wife’s crazy fears.

Liam: (A little annoyed) Miranda how many times do I have to tell you that nothing is more important to me than you. Your happiness means the world to me and I can’t bear to see you hurting and be this upset so please promise me no more secrets, ok?

Miranda: I promise you, no more secrets. I love you Sweetheart!

Liam: (Softly) I love you too Baby! Come here.

(Liam pulls Miranda into his arms and gives her a deep passionate kiss that takes her breath away. Miranda can feel the room disappear around her as she melts into Liam’s kiss. She eventually feels herself being lowered onto the bed as Liam gently lays his warm naked body on top of hers. Liam then moves his mouth from Miranda’s lips and passionately kisses her neck which cause her body to tingle with ecstasy and release satisfying moans)

Miranda: Oooh Sweetie! Oooh!

(Liam moves his kisses down Miranda’s body until he reaches her crouch. Liam buries  his head between Miranda’s legs and begins licking and nibbling at her. Miranda arches her back and clinches the sheets underneath her into her fist as a wave of erotic pleasure crashes over her.)

Miranda (Breathing heavily) Oooh God Liam!!!!

(Miranda’s body quivers as Liam is going back and forth between licking and fingering her clit. He looks up at her and meets her eyes.)

Liam (Softly and seductively): I want you to cum for me Baby!

Miranda (Breathing heavily) Yes Sweetheart! As long as you make me cum the same time as you do.

Liam: Yes, my Queen!

(Liam lifts himself up from Miranda’s crouch and then gently lowers himself on top of her body. He gives Miranda a passionate kiss as he slowly glides himself into her.)

Liam: (Softly) Tell me what you want Baby?

Miranda: (Softly) I want it slow and sweet.

(Liam smiles at Miranda)

Liam (Softly) That’s exactly how you deserve it my love

(Liam sweetly kisses Miranda as he slowly thrust against her until they are moving in a gentle rhythm together. As Liam releases Miranda’s lips, she lightly caresses his cheek and puts her other hand behind his neck. Liam and Miranda stare at one another with a burning desire in their eyes as their passion increases until finally they lean against the other’s forehead and climax at the same time. They both breath heavily as they release pleasureful moans.)

Liam & Miranda: Oooh! Oooh! Oooh God! Oooh!

(Still leaning their foreheads against one another Liam and Miranda smile and share a deep passionate kiss. When they pull apart Liam looks at Miranda lovingly and caresses her cheek)

Liam (Softly and sweetly) I love you so much, please don’t ever forget that.

Miranda: How could I forget when you make love to me like that.

(Liam gives her a sweet kiss then rolls onto his back and Miranda cuddles up next to him and caresses his chest as Liam puts his arm around her and absentmindedly plays with her hair. The two lay in a silent bliss for a few moments until Miranda glances over at the clock on Liam’s nightstand and lets out a little sigh)

Miranda: We need to get moving or we’re going to be late.

(Miranda goes to get up but Liam quickly pulls her back to him and wraps his arms around her)

Liam: (With a serious and stern tone) No, no you’re not going anywhere, you’re staying right here.

(Before Miranda can say anything Liam gives her a deep kiss. When he finally releases her lips Miranda smiles at him questionably)

Miranda: (Giggles) Sweetheart? As much as I would love to spend the day in bed with you know we can’t do that.

Liam: Yes we can! I want you to stay here with me today.

Miranda: Why?

Liam: Because I need take care of you and make sure you are ok?

Miranda: Honey I’m fine besides we have appointments and obligations that we must attend to today.

Liam: I don’t care about any of that. I’m canceling all of our appointments today.

Miranda: Liam? What’s gotten into you? The engagements that we have scheduled for today are very important and you know that.

Liam: You and your wellbeing are more important to me and you know that!

Miranda: Of course I know that Sweetie but what are you going to do with me if we stay here all day?

Liam: I’m going to hold you, and kiss you, and make love to you until all of your fears of losing me are gone.

(Miranda smiles as Liam’s concern and compassion for her warms her heart. She gives Liam a sweet kiss.)

Miranda: You are the sweetest husband in the world but you don’t need to do that for me?

Liam: Yes I do because I love you and I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy and not be afraid.

Miranda: Honey I know you would anything to make me happy, but you can’t just lock the door and hold me in your arms every time I’m afraid.

Liam: That’s not what ....

(Miranda cuts Liam off)

Miranda: I know what you’re going to say this isn’t just me being afraid of something silly. It’s a major fear that causes me anxiety and it kills you to see me like this

Liam: Precisely! That’s why I need to take care of you first. How can I attend to the needs of our people when the most important person in my life is suffering?

Miranda: (Smiles) I’m not suffering I’m just scared and upset that’s all

Liam: That doesn’t mean you don’t deserve my love and attention. I can’t bear to see you upset or sad, your happiness means everything to me! I would do anything to avoid seeing tears in your eyes.

(Miranda beams with love as Liam’s beautiful words warm her heart. She gives him a sweet kiss and caresses his cheek and she smiles at him with love in her eyes)

Miranda: Sweetheart you are the most loving, caring man in the world and I am so honored and blessed to have you as my husband. As much as I would love to have you all to myself today I can’t because you are first and foremost the King of Cordonia and....

(Liam abruptly cuts Miranda off)

Liam. No, you’re wrong! (Liam gets a serious look on his face and moves closer to Miranda) I am first and foremost your husband and a King second. (Liam holds Miranda’s face in his hands and continues softly) You and our children will always be first in my life. Please don’t ever forget that my love.

Miranda: (Smiling) I won’t I promise! (Miranda and Liam share a sweet kiss) Now as yours and Cordonia’s Queen it is my responsibility to make sure that the King attends to his duties and the needs of his people. A very wise and incredibly sexy man (Miranda wraps her arms around Liam’s neck as Liam grins at her) once told me that as rulers we sometimes have to put the needs of our people first and today is one of those times. (Liam opens his mouth to respond but Miranda cuts him off) You know I’m right!

(Liam looks at Miranda sternly and then gives her a small smirk)

Liam: You know I hate it when you use my own words against me.

Miranda: (A little sarcastic) Yeah I know that’s why I love to do it to you.

Liam: (Sarcastically) Ha Ha very cute!

(Miranda leans into Liam and gives him a kiss. Liam then strokes Miranda’s hair and gives her a sad look)

Miranda: (Pleadingly) Honey please don’t look at me like that. I’m ok now, really.

Liam: I’m sorry Baby its just kills me to know that you have been this afraid for so long. I just wish I could take all of your fears away.

Miranda: Well you know I actually feel a little better now that I told you so maybe keeping this bottled up for so long was part of the problem.

Liam: Then promise me you will not do that again. I’m always here for you and you can talk to me about anything, you know that right?

Miranda: I know that Sweetheart. Thank you!

(Miranda gives Liam a sweet little kiss but Liam kisses her back and the kiss turns into a deep passionate kiss. When they pull apart Liam caresses Miranda’s cheek and looks at her lovingly)

Miranda: What are you thinking about Sweetie?

Liam: (Sighs and smirks) Nothing I just want you to be happy that’s all. Your happiness is all that matters to me.

(Miranda wraps her arms around Liam’s neck and smiles at him)

Miranda: I am happy Liam and it’s all because of you. You make happier then I ever dreamed I could be. I love you!

Liam: And I love you!

(Miranda and Liam share a passionate kiss)

Miranda: You know what would make me even happier right now?

Liam: What’s that Baby?

Miranda: My husband joining me in the shower?

(Liam gives Miranda a sly grin and holds her close to him)

Liam: Well then you are in luck because your husband LOVES to shower with his beautiful wife. (Liam gives Miranda a sweet Kiss) Come with me my Queen!

(Liam gets out of bed and offers his hand to Miranda to help her out of bed. Liam then pulls her into his arms and kisses her deeply. As they continue to kiss Liam picks Miranda up and cradles her in his muscular arms and carries her into the bathroom. When they reach the shower Liam puts Miranda down on the floor and turns on the water jets in the shower. Liam then takes Miranda by the hand and they enter the shower. As the warm water covers their bodies Miranda and Liam wrap their arms around each other and share a passionate kiss. Miranda slightly pulls back as Liam places his hand on her belly and begins to massage her belly.)

Miranda: Do you want to wash the baby?

Liam: I want to wash both of my babies because I love them so much and don’t want them to ever forget it.

Miranda: We wont Sweetheart because both of your babies love you just as much.

(Liam gives Miranda a kiss and then they continue to wash each other’s bodies. After they finish in the shower they head into their closet and start to get dressed. Liam puts on his suit as Miranda puts on a fashionable short dress. As they finish dressing Miranda looks over at the clock in the closet and realizes how late it is)

Miranda: Oh crap! I didn’t realize how late it was. I’m not going to have time to cook us breakfast.

Liam: Its ok don’t worry about it. When we got out of the shower I figured that we would be running late so I texted Sawyer before I started getting dressed to have the kitchen staff set up breakfast for us. It should be waiting for us when we get down stairs.

(Miranda smiles and warps her arms around Liam)

Miranda: Thanks sweetie

Liam: Your welcome. (A little sarcastic) You know one the perks of being a Queen is that you have a staff that can cook for you instead of always having to cook yourself.

(Miranda glares at Liam)

Miranda: Yeah I guess its a nice perk but the Palace chefs can’t cook anywhere near as good as I do.

Liam: (Being playfully) Oh yes I agree. No one can cook as well as my wife.

Miranda: (Chuckles) YOU are smart man for saying that

(Miranda gives Liam a quick kiss)

Liam: Hey I’m getting the hang of this husband thing. What’s that old saying “Happy Wife, Happy Life”

(Liam and Miranda giggle)

Miranda: I think I like that saying, you should keep that one but I also believe a wife should keep her husband just as happy thats why I love pleasuring you as much as I do.

(Liam pulls Miranda closer to his chest and puts his mouth inches away from hers)

Liam: (Seductively) No one has ever pleasured me that way that do Baby.

Miranda (Seductively) I can say the same about you Sweetheart!

(Liam and Miranda close the small gap between their lips with a deep kiss that becomes very heated but after a few moments Liam reluctantly pulls back)

Liam: As much as I want to keep going you know if we don’t stop now we are never going to make it out of this bedroom.

Miranda: Yeah you’re right. We are already late enough as it is, come on lets go get breakfast.

(Miranda takes Liam’s hand and the two of them walk out of their bedroom and head downstairs. When they reach the kitchen they see an enormous spread of breakfast foods covering the entire island in the kitchen)

Miranda: Oh My God! Look at all of this! How many people did you tell them to send up breakfast for?

Liam (Smirks) This is nothing you should see the spread they put out in the main dining hall. Now that’s enough food to feed a small country.

(Miranda and Liam grab some food off of the island and quickly sit down at the kitchen table to eat. When they finish Liam checks his watch to see what time it is)

Liam: We need to get going the car will be here any minute.

(Miranda and Liam get up from the table and get themselves ready to leave. Liam puts on his suit coat as Miranda walks over to him and straightens his tie and then adjust the collars of his shirt and suit coat. Liam loves how Miranda always fusses over him and gives her a smile. When Miranda finishes he warps his arms around her and stares at her lovingly as he brushes a strand of hair off of her forehead)

Liam: (Softly) Stay close to me today

Miranda (Smiles) Why?

Liam: Because I need to make sure that you’re ok

(Liam stares at Miranda with sad eyes)

Miranda: (Pleadingly) Sweetie I’m fine really so please stop looking at me like that

Liam: I’m sorry but I can’t help it. It just breaks my heart to know that you have been living with that much fear for so long. (Liam stares at Miranda and then gets a questioning look on his face) Is this the reason why you have been studying the history of the Cordonian monarchy so intently?

(Miranda gives a small shrug of her shoulders and nods her “Yes”)

Liam: You’re making sure that there are no hidden laws that would prevent you from being Queen and dissolve our marriage, right?

Miranda: (Looking sad with light tears in her eyes) I had to know for sure that there was absolutely nothing else anyone could use to possibly take me away from you again

(Liam’s face drops as he holds Miranda tightly in his arms)

Liam: (With a sympathetic heartbroken tone to his voice) Aww Baby! Why didn’t you tell me? I would have assured you that you have nothing to worry about. I’m so sorry my love!

Miranda: No I’m the one that is sorry. I should had said something to you but I honestly didn’t know how to tell you but I won’t do that again. From now on I’m going to tell you when something is bothering me, no matter how silly or insignificant I think it is.

Liam: I’m glad because I never want to see you this upset again. I love you so much!

Miranda: And I love you just as much!

(Liam lowers his lips to Miranda and gives her a deep passionate kiss. Just then Madeleine walks into the kitchen and sees Liam and Miranda kissing each other. She rolls her eyes at them in annoyance but Miranda & Liam have not noticed that she has entered the kitchen and continue kissing each other)

Madeleine: (Annoyed) My god don’t you two ever come up for air?

(Liam and Miranda are slightly startled; they stop kissing and look at Madeleine but reaming in each other’s embrace)

Madeleine: It’s no surprise that you’re having a baby so soon the way you two go at it.

(Miranda still embracing Liam gives Madeleine a cocky smile)

Miranda: (To Madeleine) Jealous are we?

Madeleine: Hardly! Try annoyed! The car was ready to leave 10 minutes ago.

Liam: Our apologies Madeleine. Miranda and I were a little preoccupied his morning.

Madeleine: (Rolling her eyes) What else is new. Come now you need to get going you two have an incredibly busy day ahead of you.

Liam: (To Miranda) Are you ready honey?

Miranda: Yeah let me just grab my phone (Miranda picks up her phone off of the island) I have to remember to send out the text to everyone about Saturday.

(Madeleine hearing Miranda’s comment looks at her questionably)

Madeleine: (To Miranda) What’s happening on Saturday?

Miranda: Oh Liam and I are having the gang over this Saturday for a barbecue.

Madeleine: (Sarcastically) “The Gang”?

Miranda: (Sarcastically) Yes Madeleine our “Gang” of friends which just so happens to include you.

Liam: (To Madeleine) Yes it most certainly does include you. Why don’t you make plans to join us, we loved to have you.

Madeleine: Thank you Liam I appreciate the gesture but spending the day with (Madeleine speaks sarcastically) “The Gang” is hardly my idea of fun on a Saturday.

Miranda: (Annoyed) Cut the act Madeleine. We all know you enjoy hanging out us even though you pretend that you don’t. If you would like to join us the party is a noon, it’s your decision.

Madeleine: Well if I am able to clear my schedule I’ll see if I can make a brief appearance at this shin dig of yours, at least for a little while.

(Madeleine gives Miranda a small hint of a smile and Miranda gives a small smile back to Madeleine)

Miranda: Ok, its up to you.

(Madeleine quickly composes herself and gets a serious look on her face as checks the time on her watch.)

Madeleine: My god is that the time! You two are incredibly late! We have to move, now!

(Madeleine quickly ushers Liam and Miranda out of the Residence Suite, through the Palace halls, and into a waiting SUV in the courtyard. As the SUV drives off with Liam and Miranda in the back-seat Miranda gets out her phone and types a text message to Hana, Penelope, Kiara, Drake, Olivia, Maxwell, Bertrand, and Savanah.)

Miranda’s Text: “Hey guys! Liam and I are planning a barbecue for this Saturday at noon at our place and we would love for all of you to attend. You don’t have to bring anything but yourselves as we will take care of all the food and alcohol. Hope everyone can make it!”

Miranda: (To Liam) Ok I sent the text let’s hope everyone can make it.

(Liam smiles at Miranda and holds her hand)

Liam: I’m sure everyone will come Sweetie. We all have such a good time when we get together and its been a while since we have all seen each other.

Miranda: We’ll see who responds to my text.

(As the day continues Miranda and Liam attend various meetings and visit a few charity foundations and hospitals. At the end of the day they are exhausted as they pile back into the SUV to take them home)

Liam: Boy I’m beat, that’s was a long day.

(Miranda moves closer to Liam and leans her head on his chest and closes her eyes as Liam wraps his arm around her and kisses her forehead)

Liam: You tired Baby?

Miranda (Cuddling up next to Liam) Mm Hm! I just want to go home and relax with you in a nice hot bath and wash the day away.

(Liam closes his eyes and leans his cheek against the top of Miranda’s head as he continues to hold her)

Liam: Mmmm! That sounds perfect Sweetheart!

(Miranda looks up at Liam and they give each other sweet little kisses until they are interrupted by a text alert on Miranda’s phone. Miranda slightly shifts herself as she reaches for her phone in her purse)

Miranda: Oh you know I never checked to see if anyone responded to my text from this morning.

(Miranda looks at her phone and she’s that everyone has texted her back.)

Hana’s Text: Oooh a barbecue! We haven’t done that in a while. I’ll absolutely be there. Thanks!

Maxwell’s Text: Did someone say Paaaaarrrrttttyyy!!!! You know I’m DEFINITELY there!!! I got some new party tricks that I cant wait to show you guys!! See everybody Saturday!!!!

Penelope’s Text: I just love barbecues! Can I bring Merlin & Morgana?

Drake’s Text: Free barbecue and alcohol!! You know I’ll be there!

Kiara’s Text: Qui sonne fantastique! Merci!

Olivia’s Text: Well I suppose if I have nothing better to do then I can grace you all with my presence for an afternoon.

Bertrand’s Text: Its difficulty to say at this time if Savanah, Bartie, and I will be able to attend. The are several projects that we need to oversee at House Beaumont. Savanah and I are extremely behind with our wedding preparations, and Bartie has his riding lesson that afternoon. Savanah and I will throughly need to review our schedules before we can commit to an afternoon of leisure.

Savanah’s Text: Miranda ignore Bertrand’s text. The 3 of us will most definitely be there. Thank you for thinking of us. Can’t wait to see you and Liam!

Bertrand’s Text: Yes what Savanah said. See you on Saturday.

(Miranda finishes reading everyone’s text and giggles as she looks at Liam)

Miranda: Well everyone responded back and said that they are coming so it looks like we are all set for Saturday

Liam: That’s fantastic! It’s going to be a great day, with good food and good friends.

Miranda: I can’t wait to tell them that we’re going to have a baby. You think they’re going to be excited?

Liam: Are you kidding they will be thrilled for us. I can’t wait to see the look on their faces when we tell them.

Miranda: Saturday can’t get her quick enough. I’m so happy! I love you

Liam: And I love you

(Liam and Miranda share a kiss and then cuddle in the back seat of the SUV as they enjoy the rest of their ride home)

#@carabeth @darley101 @furiousherringoperatortoad @blackcatkita trr trr liam

[fandoms-keep-me-alive]

Guys, I need Help. This is a convo between me and my boyfriend. after this, there was a phone call but I don't have the energy to add those details yet, but I need yall's opinion.

Its gonna be kinda long just warning you

Joseph, you are:

Kind

Always there to help others even at your own expense, considers it your calling in life.

Considerate

Favorite color is blue

From Texas

Understand the value of hard work

Have a near photographic memory

Curious

Seek out truth wherever you can find it

Good with kids

Creative

Thoughtful

Attentive

Open minded

Sarcastic

Dark humor

Supportive

Have thought provoking conversations/ideas

Make me feel wanted

Takes your hat with you everywhere

Are a little self conscious about your hair, but it's cute and wavy and fluffy and soft with a tinge of Chestnut red

Have an amazing beard

Culinary curious

Strong

Healthy

Squishy

Courteous

Understanding

Respectful

Gentle

Loving

Nerd

Inquisitive

Humble

Needs hugs

Deserves love

Have so much potential

Are an animal lover

Carnivore

Saved my Life at least once

And I love you for all of it.

After I sent that to him this is the conversation that followed 6/7/19:

SinToday at 5:27 AM

Thats really sweet emilie

Mushroom Studio'sToday at 5:28 AM

I'm glad you like it

SinToday at 5:33 AM

... Tbh every nice thing you say makes it harder for when you leave on mission

X.x

Mushroom Studio'sToday at 5:33 AM

I'm sorry

SinToday at 5:33 AM

... No you aren't

Sorry not sorry

Lol

Mushroom Studio'sToday at 5:34 AM

I'm sorry that I'm making it hard for you

SinToday at 5:34 AM

Oh.. Well its more im making it hard on myself

Im still finding it really hard to emotionally attach

Mushroom Studio'sToday at 5:35 AM

If it's make it easier I can try to dial it back some

SinToday at 5:35 AM

Because you know

The whole.. Away for a year and change.

Mushroom Studio'sToday at 5:36 AM

I know I'm sorry

SinToday at 5:37 AM

Like.. I care and really do enjoy being with you, but... Pardon the extremely dark analogy.. But its like dating someone with the knowledge they wont be there in a few months due to a illness.

But you aren't ill and its not like you won't be around

....idk

Mushroom Studio'sToday at 5:39 AM

I get it, it's painful

SinToday at 5:39 AM

It keeps me up at night. Worrying that we both will be hurt by this more severely if we keep on

Mushroom Studio'sToday at 5:39 AM

I'm sorry

SinToday at 5:39 AM

Its not your fault

You've done nothing but be an amazing girlfriend

Meanwhile I've been nothing short of distant, cold, and a total jerk

Mushroom Studio'sToday at 5:40 AM

No sweetheart

SinToday at 5:42 AM

I mean yes.. I have been. Its not fair to you and you deserve someone who is within your faith. Who can treat you like you deserve to be, and is perfect in all regards

Mushroom Studio'sToday at 5:44 AM

First off I learned a long time ago that the perfect person doesn't exist second you've treated me wonderfully and you've just been doing what you can to keep yourself afloat which is more than I can say for myself

SinToday at 5:46 AM

Idk.. I think that the whole me being your boyfriend thing... While its nice.. And wonderful.. And i absolutely enjoy it.. Idk i just dont think it was wise of us to do it knowing that you'd only be here for 3 more months. Much less the fact that your feelings have only grown

-_-

I am hating myself for not being stronger.

I just DO NOT want to ever cause you so much pain that you'd end up hurt, devastated, and unable to fulfil the role of your faith that you were sent to do

And yet, im aware of my own flaws and self enough to know that one day i might do that. And you dont deserve that.

hugs you tightly

Im sorry for being a wreck

Mushroom Studio'sToday at 5:52 AM

It's ok sweetie so am I

I just....

SinToday at 5:53 AM

Blehh... Ik this wasnt exactly the greatest time.. I was just suffering without saying anything and that super sweet and kind gesture kinda broke the dam

Mushroom Studio'sToday at 5:53 AM

I understand

It's just, dating you has made me happier then I've been in a long time and I don't want it to stop any sooner then it has to.

I'm so sorry I've put you through this much termoil

SinToday at 5:55 AM

I know this is true.

And truly it has helped me realize my own self worth, and you have taught me and continue to teach me every day as to how to be a better person

Do not misunderstand the value you hold with me. You are truly a wonderful person and a treasure this world should have... But after being with you, knowing the love you can show, the blessings you bring to everyone around you, the kindness and gentleness of your heart... I would rather it end sooner rather than later so as to save you any excess grief while out on mission... That mission is truly important, to you, your faith, your family, and to higher powers. While what we share is wonderful.. And what we offer eachother is wholesome.. Ive asked for guidance... And the answer in my eyes was clear enough for me to reach a decision... While i care perhaps too deeply for you, i believe we shouldnt draw out what we have until the last minute...

For both your sake.. And for my own conscience/feelings.

That said...

I want to know your thoughts...

i want you to know these are my feelings laid bare. Ive thought long and hard regarding it.. And its unfair to you for me to be selfish and attempt to keep you for as long as possible, even if we both wish to be selfish

And im not yet breaking up with you

I just wanted my feelings, thoughts, what guidance I've been given, to be shared with you. As you 100% deserve to know

Secondly. Ill never text breakup with anyone

Mushroom Studio'sToday at 6:08 AM

Heh... Can I call?

SinToday at 6:08 AM

Yes.. Itll be loud

#fluff #angst #hurt comfort #comfort #hurt #imagine your otp #I need hugs #i need help #i need relationship advice

[lightshielded]

jarvan iv’s new lore / the good, the bad and the oh?

i just wanted to make a more official post on the changes or expansions in his new bio and my own opinions on them and why i think they’re good or bad or if they’re confusing. i will be posting a like thing to the forums in hopes of getting some answers from riot.

THE GOOD !

JARVAN III ! riot has added further information about jarvan the third, the current king of demacia. it’s really nice to actually have some official information on the man who rules the entirety of demacia rather than having to infer things from a mix of slight mentions in character bios and old lore. we know he is a smart ruler, one with a strong political mind allowing him to prevent infighting between political houses. we now know him to a loving, if a bit absent father, and a devoted husband and is truly trying to do right by his son. man even seemed unfazed by his son bringing home a half dragon when the entire demacian court was questioning the wisdom of letting the prince have a dragon on his personal guard. i don’t know man, they’ve made jarvan iii chill and i like him.

XIN ZHAO EXISTS ! this is more existence xin has seen in years and look i know it’s a brief ass mention in jarvan’s lore on how y’know he is actually doing his job of the seneschal of demacia and the lightshield family’s steward and just looking after a young jarvan but damn. yes. give xin lore and give jarvan the personal relationships which should have been established before and did exist back in the old - old lore.

EXTRA DETAILS ! i do like the small extra details given to events in this new biography. for instance, before he warred in the areas to the south, now we know the true names of these areas and where he fought and that these were also the same lands jarvan i lost his head to sion fighting in. we know a little more about his childhood and his education and why things were the way they were. just nice little details which gives his early bits of lore some interesting bits and bobs.

THIS LINE ! ‘ and the king beginning to feel the weight of his years, the prince must ensure he is prepared to one day inherit the throne, and be crowned King Jarvan IV of Demacia. ’ this line right here. this makes me feel things, that is all. just damn, king jarvan iv of demacia. now ain’t that a mood.

THE BAD !

LADY CATHERINE ! now, jarvan’s mother was only once mentioned back in the journals of justice and i honestly thought riot had forgotten about her. yet, i still joked with the release of sylas that they do not touch her. and, you know what, they really shouldn’t have. i am happy she got mention but i hate that she was revived into lore purely for the trope of killing off female characters as some kind of poor excuse for development and angst in male character’s lives. like yes, demacia is low technology and anti - magic so childbirth is probably a dangerous thing which results in a great many more deaths than in the modern day, but it was wholly unnecessary for jarvan’s older lore did not require it so it was a detail cheaply used and unwarranted. 

NO CAPTURE ! jarvan’s narrative across all lores from the oldest to the one just prior to now have included him spending time in noxian custody due to a mistake on his part and him feeling the need for self - improvement and redemption. this has been his hallmark for many years and provided strong reason for character development by curbing his pride and his rash behaviour, showing his strong empathy for his fellow man and how that is both boon as well as cause cause him to make blind errors. each of these lores has provided us with a sheltered character pulled into a world far more gritty than he was living in, struggling, failing but rebuilding himself into a stronger person. yet here, jarvan barely fails. his ‘ downfall ’ moment is simply that his battalion gets splintered off after scores of victories which spread them too thin. that’s right, he won too much, got cocky and kept pressing forward. while it mentions he was troubled by what he saw there was no blind dash ignoring of orders cause he couldn’t let the murderers of his people walk free. nah, now it’s more an ego complex following a pledge to bring stability to the region and possibly regrouping when you hear the gates of mourning fell is not on the agenda when doing that. so instead, he is splintered off and he and some survivors wouldn’t surrender and escaped into the forests where they were hunted down and jarvan finally took an arrow to the knee side. here it catches up with the older lore and he lies dying in a fallen tree till our dragon friend comes to save him after mistaking him for food ( i hope they don’t remove that line from her lore when it gets updated i love it ). not to mention it removes his torture by noxus and i have no idea how swain’s line works anymore or how sion even exists.

NO VILLAGE ! so jarvan gets saved and brought to castle wrenwall which is where he combated yvva in older lore and not the small demacian village. this further changes jarvan’s narrative as they know who he is. the garrison commander instantly knows jarvan is the prince and thanks shyvana for saving her. her being a part of demacia no longer becomes because they saw her saving some random demacian and helping him and so having demacian like values and so inviting her to stay because she is a good person. it instead becomes well you saved the prince we are indebted to you. it also loses the charm of shyvana helping out in a village and the prince having to learn to live as a normal person since he is pretending to be so. it also squishes the timeline some but i’ll cover that in the next bit . . .

JARVAN’S SELFISH ! jarvan’s motivation to help shyvana is completely changed. i doubt this was intentional but the wording is very off. before: shyvana tries to leave because she knows the dragon attacks that have started happening are her fault. jarvan stops her, learns of her past and then pledges to help her because she is his friend and he owes his life to her. his own doesn’t matter, he will help her or die trying. now: the very recount heavy style of the rewriting of this new lore implies he sees yvva coming in the distance and he sees her as an opportunity to redeem himself, not help shyvana. in fact, in this new lore they barely interact. jarvan has no reason to care for her since he is still injured when yvva appears so they haven’t spent long together. like when i said the timeline is squashed i mean from several months down to maybe a couple weeks. there is no need for this reduction and all it does is hurt jarvan and shyvana’s friendship and turn jarvan into someone who cares more for his ego than his friend. what happened to learning about charity, huh?

GAREN BARELY EXISTS ! do i need to say more, jarvan’s old lore told much of their friendship and how garen’s efforts saved him but thats now deleted from the timeline and all jarvan is left with is a mention that they were friends, an almost copy paste from garen’s older lore which mentions he admires his fortitude and that now he is shield - captain so jarvan needs to shape up. it just doesn’t feel connected or personal. how am i meant to see that two people are friends if all you say is, yeah, they’re friends. how about some show not tell?

TOO MANY OTHER PEOPLE / REALLY RUSHED ! now i’m sure you’ll be surprised since i said i was happy to see stuff on jarvan iii and xin ( cause i am ) the issue is the writers are working under a kind of word limit system so while i love reading about other champions and characters, devoting several paragraphs of jarvan’s limited amount to other characters and info which is interesting but doesn’t push his story too much feels a little cheap. this rushed pace they then had to write with acts to flatten his character. things that were written once in beautiful detail are now reduced to recounted fact that lack the emotion of what the previous did. ie: CURRENT: ‘ He was devastated. He had failed his family, his kingdom, and his brothers-in-arms. ’ OLDER: ‘ As Jarvan was dragged further from Demacia during his weeks of captivity, he was ashamed that the rashness of his decision to pursue the Noxians had led to needless Demacian deaths. Crushed by the loss, he came to believe he no longer deserved to live in Demacia, let alone inherit its throne. ‘ even just this little bit on his emotions post failure. before it goes into how he stews in his grief for weeks. his shame. his loss. he no longer feels like he can be called demacian. now he is just devastated because he failed.

THE OH ?

JARVAN’S STANCE ON MAGIC IS KNOWN ? people know shyvana is a dragon now. all the nobles in attendance know. jarvan’s father knows. his friend who hates mages probably knows. literally anyone who can hear court or military gossip knows. how is this man left to do his shit when everyone knows that jarvan has a dragon on his personal guard ? this is the prince of a magic fearing nation, a nation who has in recent times made their laws significantly stricter. HOW IS HE JUST AROUND? DOES LUX KNOW THIS? DOES SYLAS KNOW ANY OF THIS? HOW IS SHYVANA NOT LOCKED UP WITH THE NEW STRICTER LAWS ??????????

IS THE KING / QUEEN STILL ELECTED ? a big part of jarvan’s character previously was that he had to toe around his nation’s views because his actions could easily be seen as treasonous or wrong and prevent him from being elected king when his father relinquishes the throne. but now it just mentions he is the heir and he is to inherit it, which it was mentioned in the other lore that he would inherit it ( or rather it was mentioned he didn’t feel like he could since it was mentioned when he was depressed ) so i don’t know if they have scrapped this part of demacian lore or if it just wasn’t mentioned. i have no idea.

#— out of character ` #long post / #a very fucking long post #um so yeah #jarvan got a big lore change #rather they removed a key point #which rippled onto A LOT OF STUFF

[amethyst-noir]

i enjoyed the inclusion of tony sort of... whoring himself in that last fic. would it be possible to write an au more centered around that subject? maybe stephen had to sell himself to get through medical school and sometimes it wasn't consensual? if thats too much i understand! just figured it might help some people who deal with that

[Sunday is now officially my post-it-if-you-have-something-day. People send me prompts, so they obviously want to read the result. Thanks for that; I feel honored.]

Uh, that’s a hard one but it caught my imagination. I won’t write non-con;the aftermath of it is bad enough. (I like sex scenes to be sweet and romanticand/or kinky as hell but always consensual and I’m bad at writing them.) So,this happened. The Stephen/Tony here is “just” friendship (aka themost important foundation for any relationship). There is the potential for itto maybe become more in the far-off future but right now? No. There are other,more important, things to do first.

And if the prompt itself and my note up there don’t make it clear enough: TWfor rape/non-con. It’s not described at all and not spoken about in detailbut it’s there because… well, look above.

Find a Way(to break the fall)

Stephen didn’tthink about it anymore. It had been buried deep beneath all the other shit he’dhad to live through in the last couple of years and it didn’t impact his day today life in any way whatsoever. His nightmares were of dying in a myriad ofways, one more painful than the other, not reliving the ancient past.

It wasn’t as if hewas looking for someone or that someone to be another man; he was too busyliving, learning and protecting.

So it was anunpleasant surprise for both of them when one day Tony grabbed him by the hipsto move him out of the way and Stephen flinched. Hard. He froze on thespot a second after and Tony put up his arms and backed away as if afraid of anattack. Only then he’d noticed that he’d put up his hands in a classicdefensive position, his magic tingling in his fingers to fight off the threat.

“Stephen?”Tony asked, more confused than afraid but a hint of fear lurked in his eyes andvoice. He still had trouble with magic, especially the offensive kind. And tohave a friend threatening him…

Shit. Stephen knew almost immediately why he’d reacted like that, of course. Hestill felt Tony’s hands on his hips, even though it had only lasted for a momentand his grip had been gentle. But suddenly he could feel bruises on his skin,beneath the layers of clothes he wore, and it was as if it had happenedyesterday. All his carefully constructed barriers - broken down in an instantby an innocent touch.

“Sorry, I’msorry. I’ve just…” He didn’t even try to explain further, just turnedaround and vanished as soon as the portal had formed.

*

The same night hisnightmares gained a new flavor - old and new elements mixing together to form anew kind of torment that was worse than ever before. Worse than the dreamsabout the accident; far more devastating than the dreams about dying in thedark dimension or the ones about his fight against Thanos. There he had beenable to do something, to fight, be active, resist, despite his handsbeing almost useless. He hadn’t been a victim by choice without any power.Helpless and desperate. The only thing that came close was the sensation oflosing himself and fading away into nothing.

Now, all thecombined trauma gave him a whole new appreciation of the term “nightterror” that went so far that he started to research ways for forgoingsleep altogether. Unfortunately, escaping into his astral form while his bodyrested wasn’t a long-term solution. Okay for a couple of days - or even weeksif necessary - but it put too much stress on his body and the toll would onlyget higher and higher the longer he used this escape.

Plus, there wasTony. The man who had backed off considerably since Stephen’s flight and whosepresence was sorely missed. Tony, who could be an emotional idiot but was morethan perceptive enough to see that something was off and by now was probablyworried sick that he had done something wrong.

Their friendshiphad started off strong and had only gotten stronger in the months since Thanos’defeat. Playful banter had become more, the flirting too and… oh. There it was,the reason for his reaction to Tony’s innocent touch.

Stephen felt sostupid he could have hit himself. Instead, he forced himself to look away from hisbook and at his resting body. In sleep it looked innocent, only the stillshaking hands betraying that something was not quite right with it. It hadbrought him some much pain and misery over the years but it still didn’tdeserve the treatment he put it through now. He deserved better. He puthis book aside with very slow and precise movements, took a deep breath and triedto force away the images from his youth that wanted to destroy his hard-wonpeace. He pushed away the memories of strangers with cruel hands and too muchstrength and tried to imagine what he wanted instead.

Himself, curled upin bed, Tony behind him, holding him loosely, both of them relaxed in theirsleep. No nightmares, just peace. For both of them.

I want this.

With a sickfeeling in his stomach he went back into his body, knowing that this littlefantasy would probably never play out. Others would.

The nightmare of athousand needles piercing his flesh everywhere, while Ebony Maw had his waywith him woke him a short while later.

He awoke in tears,his hands on fire, and with the knowledge that he owed it to himself to dosomething, anything to make it stop.

*

He tried themystic arts and the other Masters, of course. Made his farewells to a disappointedand wondering Tony and vanished to Kamar-Taj. Tried to lose himself in researchand training but also visited the healers. Meditated, tried to find peace withhis choices back then. Told himself over and over again that it wasn’t hisfault, that it was time to move on. It did help, a little, but not enough.

You need therapy. The voice of Doctor Strange, MD, became louder with every passing day.Stephen knew it was the truth, but still he resisted. He was stronger thanthat. He’d gotten over it on his own before, he could do it again. Andyou’ve it done so well the first time, his inner doctor mocked him. Stephenbegan to hate the logical, rational part of himself but finally concededdefeat.

*

“Stephen!You’re back!” Tony came nearer, his hands spread out wide. “Greetingsfrom this earthly realm, oh Master of the Mystic Arts! Welcome back on thisplane of existence!”

Stephen just hadto smile at the sheer joy in Tony’s voice and roll his eyes at the words, butthe smile dropped when Tony came to a standstill before they could embrace. Hisarms were still open. He’s waiting for me to make the next step, Stephenrealized and suddenly wanted to cry. Instead, he forced the smile back onto hisface and stepped into the embrace of his friend. Tony obviously suspected whathad set him off weeks ago because while he held Stephen in a tight embrace hewas very careful to keep his hands high up on Stephen’s back.

After a moment ofinternal fight Stephen just gave up and let himself collapse into the hold,trusting Tony to catch him.

Tony, of course,did, without a word. Except a soft: “I’ve missed you.”

*

“How did youknow?”, he asked about an hour later. He held a hot cup of tea in hishands to keep them as steady as possible and force his mind to be in thepresent.

Tony gave him alook as if he was earth’s biggest idiot. “I touch you on the hips and yourfirst instinct is to raise a defensive shield? I might not get people, as I’mreminded over and over again, but know that kind of reaction.” He lookedaway and played with his own cup of coffee. “I’m sorry. I’ve never saidthat, didn’t I? You never did give any indication that my touch wouldn’t bewelcome or I would never have…”

Why? How? Didsomebody hurt you or was it someone you love? Every protectiveinstinct he possessed reared up and demanded to know the answers, to extractrevenge. “I didn’t,” he said instead. “It didn’t occur to mesince it’s not something I’ve thought about… in a long time. It happened when Iwas a student, barely in my twenties. Practically three lifetimes away. It tookme as much by surprise as you.”

“Stephen.”Tony put his coffee down and focused all of his attention on him. It was likebeing in the focus of the sun itself, wonderful and terrifying in equalmeasures. “You don’t have to explain anything.”

“But what ifI want to?” The words had slipped out before he thought about theconsequences. He had played with the idea after he’d concluded that therapymight work for him but he couldn’t imagine talking to a stranger. He neededsomeone he already trusted, who already knew about his crazy life and hisexperiences in the last few years. He had thought about approaching Wong but asclose as their friendship was he just couldn’t imagine talking about… thatwith him. Or any of the other masters. The thought of speaking about this toChristine, the only other friend he hadn’t managed to alienate, was just asunappealing. Surprisingly, or maybe not, he could imagine to do so with TonyStark. Most people might not believe it but the man could be a great listenerwho had brilliant insights. “Forget it,” he said a moment later.There was no way he was putting even more pressure on Tony, he had already morethan enough demons of his own.

“Forgetit?” Tony echoed. “Seriously? You listened to me rave and rant aboutpretty much everything under the sun and then you want to deny me the chance ofdoing the same for you?” He suddenly looked a lot more vulnerable, as ifremembering something unpleasant. As always when he was uncomfortable withsomething he was rubbing his left shoulder. “I’m here, I’m free for thenext, oh, four to five days, longer if necessary.” He leaned back on thecouch, folded his hands into his lap and stared at Stephen. “You talking,me talking, just staring at each other thinking about how pretty we are… it’syour choice.”

Not everything waslost when Tony was still low-key flirting with him and it served as a reminderthat Tony didn’t suddenly see him in a completely different light. Stephenclosed his eyes, relieved. He carefully put his tea aside and stared at hisshaking hands.

“Whatevergruesome scenario you might have conjured up it wasn’t like that,” hebegan and grimaced immediately. “It wasn’t some brutal assault orsomething. It was by my own choice.”

“It was yourchoice that you were raped? Bullshit!” Tony sat up and startedpacing the room. Stephen got dizzy by just watching him. Then the full extentof the words hit him and the shook his head.

“It wasn’trape”, he said very quietly. “Coercion at worst. It was my choice. Ineeded the money and it was the quickest and easiest way.” He swallowed,feeling sick again. He forced himself to summon his tea just to have somethingin his hands again. He didn’t drink. “My choice,” he repeated.

Tony just lookedat him. If that’s what you need to tell yourself to get through this so beit, he seemed to think. “Easy is something else. If it really had beenyour choice you wouldn’t have flinched when I touched you.” Suddenly Tonywas kneeling before him and looking up. “But this is me, being pushyagain. Sorry. Backing down now.” He leaned back a little, presentinghimself to Stephen as if to say I’m not a threat, just look at me, beinghere. Surprisingly it worked. He was able to take a deep breath again andcould feel the oncoming panic attack recede a little bit. “Thank you fortelling me. I’ll be more careful in the future when I touch you.”

When, not if. Noteverything was irrevocably changed, Tony wasn’t disgusted and there was stillhope. One day he would ask Tony when and where he’d gone to therapy. He was fartoo good in getting people to get to calm down and knew when to back off -there was no way in hell the world-famous weapons dealer from eleven years agobecame the man he was today without some serious help. Professional, highlypaid, help from whose work Stephen now profited by proxy. He didn’t feel badabout it. He probably couldn’t even afford the help he really needed and thisreasons for not seeking it out still stood.

Tony was stillwaiting for an answer. Stephen stared at his hands and refused to look up.“I would like that,” he finally admitted, pushing against the wave offear that tried to claw its way up to the surface. He was safe now and morethan capable of defending himself should somebody try to take advantage of himever again. On the edge of his vision he could see Tony come nearer.

“Likethis?” he asked as he took the cup away from him. Instead he put hissteady hands over Stephen’s shaking ones as if he could still their tremblingby touch alone. The only feeling it caused was one of safety and warmth. “I’mhere, Stephen. Anytime you need to talk, just call me.”

Stephen smiled,touched by the gesture. “Thank you.”

It was a start. A rathergood one, considering everything. The rest would come in time.

=/\=

#ironstrange #frienship version #Tony Stark #Stephen Strange #tw: rape/non-con (non-graphic) #amy writes #promptfill #inbox #Anonymous

[bighitnoona]

“To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before” BTS x Reader social media au

SPECIAL CHAPTER 1.1

after being in a relationship with jeon jungkook for almost 5 years and still counting, of course, fights and jealousy won’t be taken out within a relationship. as the year goes by that we held in to each other’s hands, we became stronger and stronger. non of the fights and challenges made us away from each other, perhaps it made us entangled our fingers more and trusted each other.

and speaking of jealousy, i was busy with the photoshoot since the BLACK OUT MODELS AGENCY would celebrate it’s 8 years next week!

I had these boys models, including Taehyung, Seokjin, and Jimin. Namjoon and Yoongi went to a business trip which seemingly means they are not involve in the photo shoot. Hoseok is now the new ceo manager of BOM, since he truly deserves the position and he’s a hard working man since we were still trying to build this industry.

“Nice boys! Try a new pose!” I acknowledge them as they were trying to look hot and seductively at the camera. But of course, they were not naked if thats what you’re thinking.

I heard people greeting jungkook as he entered the room. I stopped for a while to gaze him, he was glaring at me already. I feel numb and shaking as jungkook kept on staring at me, I can’t focus. He still had this effect on me even we dated for 5 years..

I shook my head to erase the thought of jungkook’s face inside my head. I began to kneel down as I was finding a perfect angle and took it as a last shot for the photo shoot.

“It’s done!” I exclaimed. Everyone immediately came to me as I start to preview the photos that I captured. They look fascinating, as ever.

“You’re really good at it, yn!” Niko complimented, I gave him a smile and nodded not to put things in complicated way as much as possible I didnt engage myself from boys “kind of”

“I dont know whats with both of you but im warning you, your boyfriend seems mad.” –Nathan whispered on my ears, his breath touch my skin and it made me flustered.

I looked at the spot where I last seen jungkook, he was not there anymore. Until I feel a warm hands around my waist, pulling me closer to him.

“Jungkook..” I said softly.. He’s attention was not on me but with Nathan, I immediately dragged him away before he could do any mess.

“Let’s go home.” He insisted, expression was still blankly. I don’t want to be more burden, so I nodded.

“Okay, let me just get my things—”

He cut me off. “I’ll get your things, go inside the car and wait for me.”

Before I could say anything, he immediately walk back inside. I went to his car as what he ordered me to do. Jungkook must’ve been stressed out in his work. He came back with my things and put it all in the back seat.

We stayed in silence. No one tried to talk or break the ice neither I. I’m tired too, so I decided to take a quick nap.

I heard the car door closed, so I assumed we already arrived. I took a deep sigh as I saw jungkook went inside without waking me up. He would really let me to sleep inside his car? really!

I shook my head out of frustration, I dont want to feel bad so I smiled and went to the back seat to take my things. As I was entering the house, I wonder why jungkook didn’t turn on the lights? Is he gonna let me walk throught his dark damn house!

I furrowed my eyebrows. This jungkook is being brat today, is he really that mad? well maybe its my fault, I should talk to him and apologize.

I struggled opening the door knob. What the fuck? Did he just locked me outside his house? ugh, fuck.

This is it, you really pressed my red button, you sucked. “JUNGKOOK! OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR!” I yelled yet there was no answer.

“FINE! YOU STAY THERE INSIDE, I’LL WALK HOME.” I yelled, still there was no answer at all so I started to walk away from his house. goddamn it.

As I was strolling down the street, my eyes were shedding tears. What the fuck have gotten in to jungkook’s mind? He’s really mean to me back there. I could really smack his face with my own fist and knock him down.

I wipe my tears, when I arrived at my house’s porch. I dont want to let my Mom see me in this worse situation. I smiled and opened the door, I saw them eating dinner.

“Hey, mom” I greeted and gave her a kissed in the cheek, also my dad.

“How’s your day?” Dad asked.

“Its fine and enjoying.” I responsed. “I’ll go ahead upstairs..” I said and locked myself inside my room..

Things were starting to get crumbled and worst inside my head as I was trying to process what just happened. I drowned my face in my pillow and screamed out of frustration just not to let my parents hear me.

“fuck you, fuck you.” I mumbled.

I was tearing up so bad without noticing that I fell asleep while crying. After a long nap. I checked my phone, there was no text from jungkook.

yeah. you keep giving me that attitude, jungkook. im really gonna smash you hard with my shoe. I turned off my phone, devastated.

suddenly, I thought about how tired might be jungkook in to our relationship maybe he needs to take a break from anything, and from me.

I dont want to be selfish, If thats what he wants, Im going to give him the freedom he wants. “Okay.” I mumbled. I opened my phone and texted jungkook.

“I get what you want. now stop acting like a child and let’s talk, i’ll give you your freedom.” Sent.

- -

JUNGKOOK’s POV

The day I went to yn’s photoshoot, is the day that me and my hyungs planned. I’ll make her believe that I was mad for being jealous (which is yes and true)

I tried my best to control myself even though I really wanna hug and kiss her in front of those boys who’s staring at her.

I didnt know she was this patient to me even though she felt that something’s wrong, she stayed calm. She fell asleep. I stared at her sleeping figure, cute.

I can’t wait to marry her. As the plan goes on, I ignored her and locked her outside my house. Namjoon hyung and Yoongi hyung was inside my house already. They were laughing and giggling as they heard my mad girlfriend yelling outside.

I almost wanna jump off my room when she decided to walk home by herself, it’s almost night, I told my hyungs to come after her because it’s dangerous for her to walk alone outside.

Yoongi hyung went with her, completely hiding as he walk yn home safely, and he came back to my house struggling to breathe. He doesnt need to ran though!

Taehyung, Jimin, Hoseok and Seokjin hyung arrived at my house in midnight. Whereas I received her text saying “I get what you want. now stop acting like a child and let’s talk, i’ll give you your freedom.”

I gulped. I suddenly froze and felt numb. She thinks I loss interest to her? She thinks I don’t lover her. The thought made me feel sick.

“Hyung. Let’s get this over with!” I panicked saying it to Hobi hyung. He just gave me a smile and a pat on my head.

“Relax, kook. Try to get some sleep..” He adviced. and I did, however the thing still got me afraid and unable to sleep well.

I don’t wanna lose her. I would really beat up Jimin hyung if this stupid idea of him wouldn’t succeed!

-

preview // next

#bts texts #bts au #jungkook au #jungkook x reader #jungkook social media au #bts angst #bts jungkook #park jimin #bts #jeon jungkook #jung hoseok #kim seokjin #kim taehyung #kim namjoon #jungkook #min yoongi #bangtan sonyeondan #bts x reader #bts jimin #jimin #bts text

[princesssarcastia]

Infinity War

Spoilers below.

Okay, umm?? uMMMM??? wow.  rude.  

If I'm rating this movie, I'd have to give it....like 7/10.  There were some FUCKING AWESOME bits and some NOT SO AWESOME bits.  

First of all, they juggled 20+ main characters very, very well. No one felt marginalized, no storyline uninteresting. The “most ambitious crossover event in history” was very well executed purely on that point. 

Second of all, I’m definitely going to see this movie again; not because I'm not sure about it, but because I genuinely enjoyed watching it. 

Pepper!! And Tony!!! Talking!!!!!!! amazing.  I’m not super chill with pepper still being Anti Suit™ but they clearly love and enjoy each other; they’re finally...comfortable, and its so nice. 

Everyone was worried about how Wanda was going to be there just to feel sad about vision, but I thought they did well with that! There was definitely a huge amount of Being Sad About Vision but I feel like struggling with the decision to kill your boyfriend is interesting enough. Also, her being powerful enough to destroy the mind stone and hold off thanos at the same time was a fucking trip, I really enjoyed that.

The bit where Bruce talked about Vision being a product of JARVIS, Ultron, and Tony was sooooo satisfying, like yes, Vision, you are tony and bruce and JARVIS’s brainchild. ha!

I think the part that bugged me the most was Gamora.  Fucking killing her off for fucking manpain, I stg.  Peter’s reaction was completely normal! Of course you’d want to smash his face in!! but see, thats the only reason Gamora is dead: so Peter’s admittedly very smart plan would go kaploey due to his own emotional response.  I'm really mad about this.

And hey, props to PQ for actually trying to shoot gamora like she asked him to.  It was killing him, but he promised, he swore on his mother; usually when people make promises like that it doesn’t pay off, they chicken out or miss their shot, but not this time.  even Thanos baiting him didn’t work.  

Another thing I’m mad about is Loki.  This is, what his third time dying?? Fourth time????? its not emotional or impactful anymore.  just kinda...oh, he’s dead.....again......okay............sure. like get a new schtick. Whats that tweet, about killing people just before they get what they want, that its shitty writing?? yeah, it is.  do you know how funny it would have been for Loki to have a “zuko here” moment with the other Avengers? much more satisfying than another fucking death scene.  Also, the liesmith just...tries to stab thanos, wow, okay.  

Wong is invited to Tony’s wedding, props. 

Tom Holland as Peter Parker is the best part of this movie, hands down. Charming and adorable and a really competent fighter, and his interactions with Tony are wonderrrfullll I loved them.  And his death scene was the absolute best one out of all of them.  he was like “I feel funny” and I’m like SHIT SHIT SHIT NO. “I’m sorry” oh my god, child, nooo, it’s not your fault!!! agh. I love him. 

On the subject of death, I’m pretty torn about how everyone is dead.  Yeah, it was meant to be devastating, but...PP’s death was the only one you really felt, because he was freaking out and so was Tony.  There had to be that kind of reaction to feel it, because we all know everyone is going to be fine at the end of the next movie; they’ll just use the infinity stones to bring them back. So the lack of reaction for everyone else is a bit of a letdown.

I’m intrigued by the idea that Tony Stark has to be alive for them to win; Strange said he’d seen only one reality where they beat Thanos, and then gave up the time stone when Tony was about to die.  The prodigal son who started the marvel universe has to save it.  And since everyone was sure that Tony would be the first to go, myself included, this is one good example of subverting expectations.

Bruce and the Hulk’s Dr.-Jekyl-Mr.-Hyde bit was kinda funny. I liked how Thanos delivered a beatdown on the hulk, because it was an example of training overcoming brute strength.

Heimdall??? dying??? um how about no.  my favorite asgardian is not allowed to die, 0/10 doctors recommend.  (he was crucial but his death was unsatisfying, just like Loki’s. there’s honestly not much about the scene on the Ark that I liked beyond the Hulk thing)

Thanos is alright as a villain.  His reason for committing genocide is kinda stupid, but can there actually be a good reason for genocide? not really.  the fact that he loved gamora is TOTALLY DEBATABLE I'm not cool with that. also pUT THAT HELMET BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME–

Thor has armor and a cape again, which confuses me because he looks much better in asymmetrical leathers, but thats an aesthetic thing.  His bromance with  rocket was very satisfying.  Groot making the handle for Thor’s new axe out of himself is priceless, although I’m a little disappointed they didn’t continue the idea of Thor being just as if not more powerful without his hammer. and that moment when they show up in Wakanda??? good shit, good shit.  chills man. was it falcon who was like “well u guys are fuckkng screwed now!” ? I concur, sam.

The moment when you realize Thor fucked up, oh shit he really fucked up, was also cool.  Its not stupid to aim for his chest; on any other man, it would have worked, and the battle would be over.  It just wasn’t enough this time. 

Gamora and Thanos both doing the “snap of his fingers” thing is a haunting echo.

notice how all the original avengers are still alive? we are definitely getting a boy-band reunion in the next movie, which I sincerely can’t wait to see. 

overall, I’m not disappointed by this movie.  there were parts they could have done better, but marvel hit all the big checkpoints with Infinity War, Pt. I.

#infinity war spoilers #infinity war review #mcu #gamora #thanos #tony stark #Peter parker #pepper potts #thor #rocket #groot #tom holland #loki #Peter quill #heimdall #p.s. where is clint #Wanda maximoff #vision #bruce banner #hulk #p.p.s. I want jane foster back