#jinyoung angst | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vad-hander · 2 years

Text

NO NAME

Pairing: Johnny (NCT) x reader x Jinyoung (GOT7)

Genre: Series | Smut | Angst | Fluff

Warnings: abuse, depression, toxic friendship, established relationships (?), mentions of self harm, messed up everything (you’ll get it as you read it), cheating, best friends to enemies, lovers to strangers

Words: 8.4k

“No.” you replied too quickly. Jinyoung’s hand that hugged your waist pulled your body closer to his, making you straddle his lap now. “What you’re doing?” you asked confused.

“You love him?” Jinyoung’s hands caressed your side. “More than you loved me?”

“You wouldn’t be doing it if you were sober.”

“Maybe that’s the solemn reason I got drunk.”

“To make me confused?”

“No, to ask do you love me or him.”

“So do you love me or her?” you whispered breathlessly, hearing your own heart beat in your ears. Jinyoung’s hand moved your hair away from your neck and pulled you in closer. You could feel his face against it and to not grip onto his neck you held against the wall.

“You smell like him. That’s wrong if you love me.”

“Jinyoung, please.” you tried to move back but his hands held onto your waist tightly. “You’ll thank me tomorrow. Just let go.” his fingers moved on your cheek to run his thumb over your lower lip in a slow motion, pulling your head next to his the next second. You felt his lips on yours and you couldn’t fight anymore. You knew he’d hate himself after this, you knew he’ll hate you after this, you knew all this happened solemnly because he drank and maybe because he fought with Sona but his lips moved so slowly and lovingly there wasn’t a way you’d refuse him. He pressed onto your jaw with his finger and you opened your mouth allowing his tongue to slip in. Your hands moved from the wall onto his neck and you hugged him tightly and moved your entire body closer to his, forcing him to lean onto the wall.

You didn’t notice tears beginning to float down your face again but he could probably feel it with his lips and tried to kiss your face too but you pulled him back to your mouth. You couldn’t waste your time on something else but him kissing you. Sona probably will be back in less than a minute and you just needed to get the most out of it. Now that he brought you to that point you knew everything you built up was ruined. He licked into your mouth so hungrily it hurt you to think he was this hungry for you only because he was drunk and upset. Your hips rocked reflexively against his and the feeling of him getting turned on under you made you moan. Your hand lowered onto his lower stomach, sliding it carefully over it to go lower when you could hear someone approaching the door. You pushed him away and tried to sit next to him when his hands tried to pull you back to him.

“Stop, Sona is here.” you hissed at him, wiping tears off your cheek but he pulled you in again against his shoulder, caressing your head. Did he try to pretend you were just crying on his shoulder for Sona? You pushed him away too harshly so he just sat next to you calmly right the time Sona opened the door.

“I’m here, I hope you two had fun chatting.” she giggled but shut her mouth quickly realising you two weren’t having fun.

“Y/n, what happened?” she said worried “Jinyoung?” she looked at him too.

“It’s fine, I just got upset a little.” you chuckled and stood up. “Let’s go.” you moved your hands so Sona would go and she did, allowing for you to walk out.

“What’s wrong?” Junwon asked worriedly as soon as he saw you.

“It’s okay.” you smiled and hid your face by resting it against his shoulder. Junwon hugged your waist and caressed it carefully.

“You know you can tell me.” he sighed and pulled you back a little to wipe the tears off your cheek carefully.

“I love him so much.” you whispered, gasping after every word.

“It’s fine.” he pulled you back in, trying to calm you down only making you cry harder. “Want to go home? We can go home.” you shook your head no. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m fine.” you gulped and wiped your eyes, watching two people get up and leave.

“Y/n, want to go outside? Fresh air will help you to calm down.” Sona seemed genuinely worried and you couldn’t take it.

“Yeah, you’re right. Thank you.” you smiled and stood up.

“Want me to go with you?” Junwon asked.

“It’s fine.” you squeezed his hand reassuringly.

“Okay.” you nodded standing up and found your way to another room that you noticed had a door outside.

“I’m sorry I can’t take those games anymore, I had to come to you.” you turned your head to where Junwon’s voice was coming from. “Plus, you’ve been here for half an hour, I had to check on you.” he smiled and sat down.

“Come here.” you patted empty space next to you.

“You know, they have jacuzzi here.” he said randomly.

“You want to go there?”

“Do you?”

“No.” you told him honestly.

“Okay.” Junwon nodded understandingly and you couldn’t hold back your smile.

“You know why I cried…?” your eyes focused on your feet.

“I guessed it’s something he said.” you turned your head to face him.

“He kissed me.”

“Oh… okay.”

“Yeah… He, I don’t understand really. It’s nothing like Jinyoung, he always has everything under control but he just got drunk and is doing mindless things. Like asking me if I love him, kissing me. He’s all grumpy and upset, I guess he regretted inviting us but couldn’t take back the invitation.” you sighed and looked away.

“Or maybe he missed you so much so he couldn’t keep himself under control. Maybe he’s all upset because he can’t take you being happy with me? Or maybe we’re just over thinking and the guy is sick and tired of work and life and the relationship is not working out.” Junwon moved you closer to him and your eyes met his that were smiling. “Either way, if he reach out to you tomorrow, it’ll change everything, and if he won’t, then I guess we have to put in work of getting him in the farthest corner of your head again.”

“Junwon…” You sighed and didn’t know what to say “I wish you were my best friend for all those years…”

“Don’t bring up Johnny to here too. Too much disappointment for one party.” you laughed out loud.

“He’s not a disappointment anymore.”

“I told you before and I’ll tell you again, that terribly written letter full of ‘I’m sorry’s’ is pretty shit and doesn’t take any blame off him. It’s literally a waste and you choosing to act like a mother Theresa is not… smart.”

“Ugh… advise I never asked for. It’s here again.” you chuckled and slapped his shoulder.

“Jinyoung would say the same if he knew Johnny reached out.”

“It’s not like we’re friends, I just said I forgive him and agreed to keep only good things in our memories about each other.”

“Yeah, exactly, not smart. He practically kept you hostage, I know you’re not very smart to notice, but he’s a total psycho.”

“Let’s not go there.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry.” he nodded and sighed. “It’s chilly outside, we should go back you’ll get sick.” his fingers touched yours and you could feel how frozen you were.

“Oh, wait.” he said and you stopped, being able to hear his phone vibrate now too. “Yeah? I’m at a birthday.” he paused and his face slowly turned into a grumpy grimace “Come on, it’s Friday.” you came closer, hugging him and Junwon’s free hand hugged your shoulders. “No, I’m not drunk. I don’t want to though.” he sighed annoyed. “Okay, okay, I’ll come, leave everything as it is.” Junwon rolled his eyes and you looked at him upset. “No don’t touch anything, I’ll fix it when I’ll come, yeah, yeah, bye.”

“No.” you furrowed your eyebrows.

“Yes.” he sighed annoyed and put his phone away.

“I’ll stay then…” you said when he walked you through the door back into the house.

“Alone?”

“There’s plenty of people.” you pursed your lips.

“Don…”

“Only because I’ll cry alone all night if I’ll go now too and this will just keep me occupied.”

“Okay, but you could’ve just went with me.”

“It’s fine.” you watched him change into his normal clothes.

“Am I allowed to kiss you or after Jinyoung I can’t…?” you couldn’t understand if he teased or genuinely asked, pecking your cheek before you could reply. “Bye, just text me if you’ll decide to come over tonight.”

“Okay, I will.” you smiled and waved him goodbye.

This all felt dumb now so you went and changed into your clothes too. You noticed a couple of people wearing normal clothes too. Your eyes ran over the living room where people spoke in small groups now, the games were probably over or were paused. The music played loudly and the amount of people that were standing in corridors really made it seem like some sort of teenage party. You tried to remember which way was the bar, feeling lost without Junwon.

Your eyes could see Jinyoung the second you entered the room and you walked towards him. Not because you wanted to be next to him, but because he was at the bar. You noticed Sona too, she was standing next to him and you guessed they made up, until you reached them.

“Hi.” you said awkwardly and Sona turned around.

“Hi, why you changed? Are you already leaving?” your eyes ran behind her to see Jinyoung laying with his forehead on the bar. Was he knocked off or just tired?

“Junwon had to leave for work so I changed because I felt dumb in those pj’s without him.” you chuckled. “Is he okay?” you asked pointing behind Sona.

“He’s not, I don’t think he can walk.” Sona said breathlessly. “I feel so bad but at the same time embarrassed. This is not what I planned, I was hoping I’ll blow candles on the cake and he’ll kiss me, but we’ve been fighting through the whole evening about little things and he got drunk because of it, now I’m just trying to get him back to his senses, maybe he’ll be there for me when I’ll blow the candles, but the time is ticking and I can’t leave him alone too. The whole party is a mess, i should probably go home and take him to bed.”

“The party is cool Sona, you don’t have to be so stressed, I think you should blow those candles. If he’s knocked off here, he won’t go anywhere.”

“I ordered coffee for him so I’ll hope the courier will be here soon and I’ll go home, everyone can stay to party until morning.”

“Sona, I’m so sorry everything is not going according to plan.” you made a sad face. “I should probably go home too.” you sighed and looked around.

“You’re not planning on staying…?”

“No, I know no one, so if you’re leaving what’s the point.”

“Wait, can you take him home?”

“Huh?”

“I know I shouldn’t be asking but I just want to blow those candles and play last two games I have prepared. If you’re leaving anyway, of course.” she looked at her phone. “Oh wait, the coffee is here, I’ll pick it up.” she ran away quicker than you could reply.

“Do you hear me?” you leaned in to Jinyoung and could smell a strong alcohol odour.

“I do.” he replied quickly.

“Are you sick?”

“No.”

“Okay, can you sit up then?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.” he raised his head and looked at you. You just wanted to kiss him, the thought didn’t leave you for the slightest second. “You don’t look too drunk to not be able to walk.” he blinked slowly as if he was just sleepy. “All those years it’s my first time to see you wasted.” you smiled and bit onto your lip. “Sona got you coffee, I’ll take you home, okay?”

“Where’s coffee?”

“She’s getting it.” You turned to where she left “There it is.” you pointed with your hand at her but he didn’t look.

“Jinyoung, here, drink it, maybe you’ll feel better. Maybe you’ll be able to be there for the cake?”

“I’ll go home, she’ll take me.” he stood up and almost fell back. Your hands caught him quickly and helped him sit back.

“Drink this and we’ll see.” you suggested to smooth out the situation.

“Yes, Jinyoung, drink it.”

“Sona.” he said and took the cup from her hands.

“Yeah?” your eyes moved onto hers. She looked at him so lovingly and caring.

“Thanks.” he sipped on the drink and closed his eyes. You didn’t realise he was still hugging your waist with his hand until you tried to sit back and couldn’t. You pulled the hand off with yours, sitting down.

“Y/n, are you sure?”

“Yeah, I wanted to leave anyway.”

“Y/n, thank you so much.” she leaned in and hugged you.

“I’ll order the car.” you fished the phone out of your pocket ordering the taxi and sending Junwon a simple message saying ‘I’m bout to take Jinyoung to his home bc he’s wasted. I’m dying.’ “It’ll be here in three minutes we should go. Thank you so much for the invitation and the party was super fun. Please eat the cake for me and Junwon, and happy birthday once again.” you smiled and moved your attention onto Jinyoung. “Let’s go, okay?”

“Jinyoungie, I’ll call you tomorrow.” she told him and moved closer to try to kiss but he kind of refused her and you tried to make it seem as if he fell back.

“Bye, bye.” you smiled awkwardly and put his hand over your shoulders but he kind of walked normally, only leaning onto you a little. —

You helped Jinyoung sit on the seat and walked around the car to get onto the free seat next to him. Leaning over to fasten his seatbelt you felt his hand on your waist.

“Thank you.”

“It’s no problem.” you smiled at him genuinely and moved back.

“Sit in the middle.” he stopped you by grabbing your hand.

“Okay.” you agreed and sat down. He tried to help you with the seat belt but it more felt like he was just touching you so you pushed him away and did it yourself. Jinyoung rested his head against the window and you finally made a loud sigh, closing your eyes too. Suddenly you felt tired from everything that’s been going on.

You could feel a hand very up your thigh and for the slightest second you believed you fell asleep and that was a dream, but the heavy breathing into your ear made you realise it all was very real.

“Jinyoung.” you tried to pull him off you but he only insisted more, leaving warm wet kisses on your neck. His fingers were gripping onto the upper part of your thigh harshly, making the hem of your dress go up. “Jinyoung, please stop.” you hissed for the driver to not notice but he seemed to do it anyway.

“Sir, please don’t touch her in my car.” Jinyoung seemed to not hear, sucking onto the spot behind your ear. “Jinyoung, do you hear.” you tried to move his hand from you.

“Sir, I’ll stop the car if you’ll continue.”

“Okay, okay. I won’t touch her.” he pulled back and looked at you with the most sober look ever. “But change the address please.”

“What?” you looked at Jinyoung confused when he said your address to the driver.

“Let’s go to yours.”

“What you’re trying to do?” you looked at him more or less shocked.

“Nothing.” he said quickly to you and pecked your lips leaving you astonished. “Just take us there please.” he smiled politely and propped his head against the window again. His hand went back to your thigh and you closed your eyes trying to breathe normally.

“Jinyoung, I promised Sona to take you home, you weren’t able to walk and now you’re the one dragging me to my house?” you couldn’t describe your feelings any other way than just confused. “Did you even drink or you pretended all the way through?” you pulled onto his hand forcing for Jinyoung to look you in the eyes when the both of you stood in front of the elevator.

“The coffee made me feel better.”

“Okay…” You said confused and allowed him to pull you behind him into the elevator.

“I can’t believe you left me for three months right after I told you I can’t loose you after just having you back in my life.” he cornered you and leaned in.

“You just disappeared after I met Junwon. I thought that’s what you wanted, to make sure I’m save and disappear.”

“I want to get inside of you.”

“What?” you looked at him shocked and tried to push him away. The elevator opened and it forced him to go away himself.

“I always think of that one video you sent me when we were together.” Jinyoung’s fingers dropped onto your waist the second he walked through your door and shut it behind him. You felt too warm and wanted to open a window immediately. “The one where you’re showering with wet hair dripping.” you gulped and wondered where he’ll lead it. “You know that I’m obsessed with your body but you still made me watch you in that club wearing that blue dress. I still wish I didn’t refuse when you tried to make me sleep with you.”

“Jinyoung.” you gasped and held onto his hands to move them away from you.

“No, listen. Nothing could compare to your smile. It’s what does it for me, but seeing you smiling because of another guy… it’s what made me realise I’m a terrible person for making you believe I didn’t love you back. It was so… knowing that you still loved me after a year, I thought I’ll work out everything quickly but I didn’t. I made you suffer only to realise I still love you, but I don’t know how you feel now.” his hands turned you around and you met his stare. “But to be fair, I don’t really care right now either. You don’t need to be in love to make love to me. Just say that you want me too.” you touched his face with your fingers to make sure you weren’t dreaming of him once again. Jinyoung was standing inside of your apartment, explicitly hinting that he wants to sleep with you but something made your heart screech. Something made you so scared and insanely confused at the same time.

“You’re saying you love me?” all that came out of your mouth.

“Can we leave the love talk for tomorrow?”

“But why…? Why would you want to do all this now…?”

“I can’t talk anymore.” he sighed and pulled you in, crushing his lips against yours. Running his fingers down to your butt he tried to force you to jump onto him but you ignored it, wrapping your hands around his neck. You could burst from excitement the very second you realised he wanted you too. He made you feel warm in every way possible and you couldn’t wait for him to take everything off you to cool you down. You walked the both of you to your bedroom without breaking down the kiss. You had to let go of him to open the door, feeling Jinyoung’s lips move down to your neck and shoulder, sucking and licking every centimetre of your skin.

“Fuck.” you mumbled, hitting your legs on the same tripod Junwon always bumped into. You kind of pushed Jinyoung and he fell back down onto the floor making you chuckle while your thoughts ran to Junwon suddenly, hoping he won’t decide to come to yours after work.

Jinyoung caressed your thighs now that you were straddling him. “I don’t have condoms.” you blabbered randomly when he stared at you quietly.

“You don’t trust me anymore?”

“I don’t know if you trust me.”

“I want to call you mine again. I want to wake up next to you every day and feel like the love of my life is here. I want to marry you too, I want all of it still.”

“Stop making me believe you won’t hate me tomorrow for allowing you to do it.”

“I won’t because I’m making you do it.” he leaned in to kiss you slowly, pulling your dress up your thighs. He broke off the kiss, sliding the dress up your body, closing his eyes slightly after taking a glance at you. “Turn around.” he had to clear his throat before speaking.

You moved around and felt his fingers on your waist pulling you to sit down on him once again. Your back pressed against his chest and his hand held you under your chest. You could feel his teeth nibble on your ear lightly before he lowered his head to caress his cheek against your neck. “I just missed being next to you, holding you and touching you.”

“You just thought you loved Sona.”

“I didn’t.” his palm began its way down your stomach and you felt way too excited even by that. Your fingers ran up to his head immediately, running your nails over Jinyoung’s nape and holding onto it afterwards.

“Why did you act like that then?”

“Just because I thought its for the best.” he sighed and touched you through your underwear. “It really wasn’t, and I’m not doing it because I’m drunk. I was the one that asked Sona’s permission to invite you, it’s what I dreamt of for the past months.” his fingers put pressure onto your bud and let go the next second, making you rub your butt against him. “You’re my favourite human in the whole wide world. I can’t wait to hear you moan.” he whispered into your ear, sliding his finger against your slit up and down teasingly.

“You’re not doing anything to hear it.” you sighed and felt him slide under your underwear.

“Am I now?” you could feel his lips brush against your cheek.

“Maybe a little.” you gasped and held onto his neck tighter when you could feel him draw circles on your sensitive bud. “Now more.” you made a weird screeching sound trying to not react too vigorously to what he’s been doing. His other hand found your breasts, massaging them carefully.

“Spread your legs more.” he suggested and let go of you, forcing you to have your legs on outside of his, spreading them more by placing his legs wider. “Do you want me to lick you?”

“No, I won’t be able to take it.”

“Why?”

“Because even this is too much already.” you gasped trying to find what to hold on to with your free hand.

“Why? Should I stop?” his finger slipped inside of you and you moaned right into his ear, moving your body to feel pleasure.

“No, no, don’t.”

“Why are you so strained?”

“I’m going to cum if I won’t be.”

“How come this quickly?” he pressed his face against your cheek, moving his opened lips against it mindlessly.

“Because it’s you.”

“What’s with me?” his other hand moved to lay against your shoulder blades, pressing your body against him strictly. When his second finger slipped inside of you, your other hand finally found it’s place - on Jinyoung’s wrist, grabbing onto it for dear life.

“I won’t hold back.”

“I’m not asking you to.” his fingers pumped in and out of you quicker than before, feeling him let go of your shoulders only to dive in his fingers to rub onto you clit. “Cum if you want to.” you couldn’t stop yourself from moaning his name and letting go of his neck you grabbed onto his other wrist, trying to make him let go of you. You felt his teeth bite onto your neck trying his best to stop you from moving all over the place but it barely helped you. “Will you?”

“Mm, yeah, here, I will, please.” your nails dug into the skin of his wrists and it probably hurt him terribly but he seemed too focused on what he was doing to notice it. Your moans fastened when Jinyoung’s tongue began licking the bitten skin of your neck. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” you swore when you felt the awaited high make your head go dizzy. Your entire body felt like jelly and even though you wanted to turn around and kiss him you had no physical power in doing so.

“You’re tired?” he whispered into your ear after a minute, pecking it.

“Aren’t you?”

“Not after you moaning my name like that.” he pressed his lips over your temple.

“5 minutes is all I need.” You sighed breathlessly and rested your body against Jinyoung’s. “I’ll lay on the bed, your hard on is kind of not nice to sit on.” you laughed and caught yourself at the thought of not starting to act too casual, it’s still not settled.

Jinyoung helped you to stand up and fall onto the bed and the strong smell of Junwon’s presence hit your nose. He just slept there last night and now you were about to have another man sleep there. The situation wasn’t really crooked but Jinyoung didn’t know that and would probably feel burdened. You rolled your body over to the side where Junwon usually slept so Jinyoung would sleep on your side of the bed.

“This mattress is so much better than the one you had.” Jinyoung sighed laying on the bed.

“We’re here to talk about mattresses?” you said sarcastically. Jinyoung rolled over to your side and pecked your lips before talking.

“Ride me.” just two words that left his lips made fire burst inside of you and you were almost sure he most definitely knew what he did.

“Id love that but I want to be under you.”

“Reasons I should listen to you?” he moved his body atop of yours and kissed you slowly, rocking his cock against you.

“Fuck I’ll probably go insane with you inside me.”

“Trust me I’ll lose my mind completely just slipping inside of you.” your hands slid down to the belt on his waist, undoing it quickly and forcing the button and the fly of his pants to get out of your way in less than 30 seconds, you slid your hand into his pants, squeezing his member in your hand multiple times.

“How come everything about you is so perfect, Park Jinyoung?”

“What?” he gasped when you squeezed your hand tighter.

“Even your cock is perfect, there’s not one flaw, I just can’t believe the fact you’re all perfect and in this much need of me.”

“Because you’re perfect for me maybe?” he asked quickly and pushed your hand away from his pants. You watched him take the pants and the underwear off, making your mouth water at a single sight of his perfectly built cock.

“Oh fuck, just go all in.” you pumped him in your hand, before he took your panties off. You felt him slide up and down your slit, covering himself in you.

“All in?”

“Yeah.” you sighed and spread your legs wider than before, mentally preparing for a stretch you craved for the most. Your moan and his grunts were the only noises that filled up the room. “Just go deeper.” you gasped and felt his hips smash against yours. “Yeah.” you nodded again.

“Baby, shit, I mean Y/n, this is driving me insane.”

“Why?” you gasped when his palm squeezed your side to get inside of you better.

“Sex with you is always making my heart burst with love.” he paused mid sentence every time his hips slapped against yours. “I just love you so much no words are helping me to express my feelings even though I’m teaching freaking literature.”

“Slow down.” you pulled his face towards you and hugged his neck “If you’re doing this not just to get yourself off, do it slowly, make love to me. I’m so scared to say out loud that I love you. I’m scared because if you won’t be here tomorrow I won’t be able to live this life anymore.”

“Don’t say things like that. I won’t leave you and I’m not doing it to get myself off, now I won’t let you sleep until the break of dawn.” He kissed your lips slowly and your eyes closed in pleasure immediately. “Is that better?” he asked breathlessly probably regretting his decision to slow down.

“Yes.” you moaned into his ear. “But if you want to cum, just do it.”

”Inside?”

“Everywhere.” your eyes rolled backwards when his pace fastened once again.

You could feel his seed spread inside of you in 10 minutes, only taking a slight break before cuming inside of you another couple times.

You never felt more scared to wake up in your life before. All those night stand would never compare to what you felt right now. You tried to work out if you slept facing the bed or the wall and the simple calculations you did made you believe you were sleeping with your face to the wall. You wanted to open your eyes to understand somehow if he was next to you still but you didn’t work out yet how’d you do it without facing it. Opening your eyes firmly you closed them back in a second. Jinyoung made a low chuckle and you couldn’t believe you forgot you slept on the other side of the bed.

“I did see you opened your eyes.” his hand landed on your cheek. You opened them back up to look at Jinyoung who smiled at you softly.

“Am I in parallel universe? Why are you so chilled right now…?” you asked confused.

“You don’t need to worry about anything.” Jinyoung ran his thumb over your lower lip.

“But are you worried?”

“No.” his smile gave it all away and you pushed his hand off you. “Why?”

“You don’t have to play pretend.”

“I’m not pretending. Even if I’m a little upset with my own self it doesn’t mean I’m not happy to be with you right now.”

“But you are upset.”

“But why does it matter now? I want to not think of these things while we’re here.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s not something you have to worry about.” he looked at you, pulling your head in gently.

“Why?”

“You just wanted to help Sona, if I didn’t risk it all in that taxi I would’ve woken up on my own in my bed. When you let me touch you and kiss you in that car I knew you won’t be against sleeping with me. I know we both wanted it but I’m the one who initiated all of it so if there’s anyone to blame it’s me.”

“Okay.” you nodded not knowing what else to say. You kind of wished now he left before you woke up.

Jinyoung moved your head closer to his and kissed you slowly. “Do you have plans for today?” he moved his lips to your cheek.

“No, but what time it is?” you reached for your phone and looked at the screen when it lit up. “Shit it’s 3pm.”

“You needed to go somewhere?” Jinyoung’s fingers ran down your back making you shiver quickly.

“No…” you gulped noticing one message on your phone from Sona. “Did you give Sona my phone number?”

“What?” Jinyoung’s lips kissed their way up your side now.

“Sona texted me.”

“Texted you what?” he moved away concerned.

“That she came home and you’re not there. She’s asking me where you are. You live with her? That’s why you wanted to change the address?” you felt somehow betrayed. Jinyoung acted like a great liar and you couldn’t understand when did he start to lie so professionally. “You just wanted to sleep with me but didn’t want to upset her? And what if I lived with Junwon? What would you do?” you pushed him away disappointed.

“I don’t live with her, what are you saying. She came because she knows the code, I didn’t think of anything when I wanted to change the address, your house is closer, that’s the only reason, I swear.” you turned your back to him keeping quiet. “Maybe you just don’t trust me anymore and think of me differently.” you could feel him move on the bed, standing up and by the sound of it putting his clothes on.

“Yeah, sure, just leave.” you mumbled disappointed. Everything was bound to go down in flames in the morning and you just knew it, but still gave in last night. Knew it’s going to hurt but still allowed yourself to do it. Jinyoung walked over your bed and you could see him approach you with your peripheral vision. Jinyoung squatted in front of you and you tried to pretend you never noticed him. He laid his lips right above your knee, making you shiver immediately. Jinyoung’s fingers touched your feet and you couldn’t understand what he wanted until you felt material of your underwear slide up your legs. You helped him put it on and sat back down onto your bed. Jinyoung stood up and your eyes ran up after him, quickly going back to looking straight when his eyes caught you. He put on a shirt over your head, forcing your hands to go through designated holes making them drop back down lifelessly.

Jinyoung’s body lowered next to you, touching your hand ever so slightly. You didn’t pull away and he took it as a green light. Jinyoung’s hand hugged you around the waist, forcing to fall back when he fell back, intertwining your every limb with his. He made your head lay atop of his biceps, resting his lips against your forehead. Even though you tried to fight with your own body, you hugged him back quickly, hiding your face against him.

“Do you still feel it?” he spoke so slowly and quietly you felt like you could fall asleep once again. “Feel like you love me? Like you belong right next to me? Do you think you still trust me? Think I’m the one you’ll be able to love? Do you think I can make you happy? Or do you think I’m not someone you loved anymore? Do you think we can’t go past this night? I’ll never be able to live my life like the happiest year of my life didn’t exist. Like you never existed in it. I just miss us talking, I miss your stories, I miss the way you listened to everything I told you. Nobody listens to me the way you did. I miss how you teased me about everything, I miss the way you teased me for doing things not the way you were doing them, calling me old and all that. I just miss how you brought light to my life and made it all make sense. How you’d hug me for hours just because I couldn’t see you for a day, how you’d always make time for me, how you’d do anything if I ever asked you for help. I miss your smile, I miss kissing your lips before I fall asleep and kissing them right after I wake up.” he paused and the sound of your heart beating deafened the room. “You’re probably wondering why the hell is he saying all this after all those months of rejection or after I said we probably won’t work out anymore. I still remember that look on your face after I said it. I wanted to take those words back immediately, I wanted to just kiss you and go back home, but I couldn’t. Somehow I thought it’ll all go away if I’ll keep the things the way they turned out, but nothing went away and when you brought Junwon to our movie night I just felt so disappointed with myself I couldn’t talk to you. I realised you finding someone wasn’t actually something I wanted for real, it was something I thought was right.” he paused again and rubbed his face your hair. “Please say something?” his fingers moved over to your face, trying to see any reaction on it. You held onto his palm, pushing it off your face when you suddenly remembered how you held onto his wrist with your nails. 4 blue moon shaped bruises caught your eyes on each of Jinyoung’s wrists.

“I’m sorry.” you ran your finger over them, raising your eyes to look him in the eyes. “How are you going to explain this to Sona.”

“It’s not what I wanted you to talk about.” he caught your finger and moved it away.

“What do you want me to say…” you sighed and moved your body a little to have your face closer to his neck. “You’re saying all this but you’ll get back to reality when you’ll exit this place so what matters is what you’ll do or say later. You’re going to go insane when you’ll actually process in your head what you did, when you’ll process that things you’d never do were done so easily last night and I have no idea what you’re going to do about it and how you’re going to feel about me. At least, I know I risked it all and got the taste of what I wanted for the last time, because I don’t believe you’ll come back here tomorrow. I doubt you’ll come back here at all.”

“I meant it when I said I love you.”

“Okay.” you sighed into his neck. “Why does it matter to you suddenly? After living all your life with your brain, why suddenly listen to your heart?”

“Because when I’m with you I always do what my heart tells me, even though I make it seem for you the other way round. I just wanted you to be able to depend on me.”

“I understand nothing, Jinyoung.” you raised your head and looked at him with tears in your eyes.

“I’ve got so much love for you, but I don’t know what to do.” he said hopelessly and it was probably the first time in your entire life you saw that look on his face. You leaned in to him, kissing his plump lips with love. Jinyoung’s hand helped you straddle him, running his hands back up to hold your face in place, while your hands were hugging his neck. You kissed him deeply, you kissed him trying to return all the love you had for him back through the tip of your tongue, but the more you kissed him the deeper you fell, the harder it felt to unlock your arms and let go of him. The longer you kissed the more it felt like your last ever kiss. You couldn’t stop thinking it was a goodbye on his side, you tried to make yourself brave enough to make it a goodbye on your side too. Jinyoung’s lips sucked onto your lower lip teasingly making that heaviness in your chest grow bigger. You tried to pull back but Jinyoung’s hand suddenly pushed your head back down, taking all you had for him himself. When it felt like too much, when you felt like you reached the point of no return you pushed back, catching his hands and making them let go of you.

“I want more.” he whined like a child and you slapped yourself internally for moving your head a millimetre towards him.

“Please go.” you tried to move from his legs but his grip was stronger than before.

“Why?”

“Sona’s looking for you, I have to see Junwon too.”

“Why?”

“Because I miss him.”

“Even when you’re with me?” you didn’t reply and Jinyoung’s hands let go of you, allowing for you to move away from him. “I’m sorry for everything.” he said bitterly.

“Are you saying sorry for everything you said and did?” you felt yourself getting worked up.

“No, I’m not sorry for that. I’m sorry for not understanding how much you’re attracted to him and how much you love him. I made you cheat on someone you love, so I’m sorry.”

“Okay.” you wanted to say what was actually going on between you and Junwon but he just went on and you decided to not make him feel better about himself.

“Okay.” he repeated after you in a minute, putting all of his clothes back on. “Bye.”

“Goodbye, Jinyoung.” you gulped loudly not being able to hold yourself back when you heard the door close behind him.

“No, I was thinking of this Friday maybe?”

“Just for the weekend?”

“Maybe the weekend, maybe a week, who knows?” you chuckled into your phone. “You should come with me, my mom would love to meet you.”

“As who?” you could hear him tap his keyboard through the phone.

“A dear friend.” you heard Junwon’s low giggle. “What? Scared?” you teased, running your eyes over the crosswalk. The light turned green and you made your way towards your house.

“No, I’m not scared. I just have to work.”

“I get it, I totally joked.” you said quickly and listened to his breathing for a while.

“I’m a little worried about you though?”

“Eh?”

“Two days after the Jinyoung accident you’re leaving.”

“This isn’t related to him, my mom calls me to come home all the time.”

“Okay…” you could hear in his face he didn’t believe it.

“Plus… I said I love you right into his face, if I didn’t lie, he would’ve stayed so it’s my decision and I’m fine.”

“But why? Why you said it? Do I need to know something?” you laughed out loud.

“Because I didn’t understand if he did really want it or not.”

“So this just proved to you he didn’t actually want it?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” you sighed and felt heavy.

“Do you thi…” a shock wave ran through your body the moment a stranger pulled you by the hand.

“Let go, I’ll scream!” You shouted immediately, pulling onto your hand. Your phone fell onto the ground and you turned around to remember this persons face. You were hoping they just needed money and was ready to give it to them. “Oh my god.” you gasped when you realised it’s Jinyoung.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” his hand let go of you and you bent to grab the phone.

“Y/n, Y/n? Do you hear me? Y/n?” you could hear Junwon shout into the phone.

“I dropped the phone.” you sighed.

“What happened? Where are you? I’ll come.”

“No, no. It’s fine, it’s… I dropped the keys and the guy just gave them to me. I didn’t hear him call.” your eyes ran over Jinyoung’s face while you were talking.

“Are you sure? Are you lying? Name a fruit if you’re in danger?” his concerned voice made you chuckle.

“No need to worry, I am totally fine. I’ll text you later, okay?”

“Yeah, bye. You scared me.”

“I know, I got scared myself, bye.” you hid the phone in your pocket. “You could’ve just called my name. I’m not deaf.”

“I did, but I guess you didn’t hear because you were on the phone. I’m sorry, you walked too fast I…” he paused.

“Whatever. What you wanted?” your eyes ran over his entire body. He wore sweatpants and a hoodie, probably coming to you from home. “Forgot something?”

“I…hm…” you looked concerned “I broke up with Sona.”

“Congrats?” you made a careless face expression.

“What?” he looked at you confused.

“What you wanted me to say?”

“I don’t know.” he shook his head and looked at his feet. “I just wanted you to know that I was not planning on dating her after what happened.”

“Okay.”

“And I understand that you love your boyfriend and everything is so crooked.” his eyes met yours and he paused. “Did you tell him, by the way?”

“I did.” you blinked mindlessly.

“Are you two… okay?” he bit onto his lower lip and stared at you asking. “It’s none of my business I guess.” he shook his head trying to get back to what he wanted to say. “I came to tell you something.”

“Yeah?” you suddenly felt nervous, gulping. The pause felt like forever and you couldn’t understand what he slowed down for.

“When I left your place I realised my timing was wrong, when I realised I love you, you already found someone else and I can tell you’re not making it up like I tried to. What really matters is I made you cheat, I’m so sorry, I want to apologise for making you do it. I honestly feel disgusting because of myself. I came to apologise and to tell you that I’m transferring to a university in Busan. It’ll help us to get over each other. I mean, for me to get over everything that happened and for the both of us to not ruin each other’s life’s anymore.”

“You’re what?”

“I’m moving to Busan.” he said once again and you couldn’t breathe for a second.

“But why?” you took a little step closer to him.

“I just don’t want to trigger neither of ours feelings.” you chewed onto your lower lip, wishing to touch his elbow but resisting.

“I really … really am sorry. Guilt is eating me alive, I ruined your relationship..”

“You didn’t.”

“What do you mean? You didn’t tell him?”

“I did, but he doesn’t care.”

“Wh… what? What do you mean?” Jinyoung were confused.

“We’re just fuck buddies, we don’t care.” you said quickly. “You don’t have to blame yourself for nothing on my side, if it’ll make you feel better.” you touched his forearm. Jinyoung’s hand laid atop your fingers, holding on to them.

“Come to Busan with me then?”

“Jinyoung, this all is so confusing.” you shook your head and took a step back, losing all contact you two had.

“Y/n, please. Just this once.” Jinyoung’s fingers landed on your cheek, holding you in place. “Just say you want me to drop everything and stay with you? Just say you want us to be together again. Or say you’ll go with me. Please say anything.” he begged you hopelessly and you couldn’t believe your eyes. It wasn’t anyone, this was Jinyoung. You just couldn’t work out it was real. He was asking you to do crazy things, Jinyoung wanted to be crazy and asked you to be crazy with him.

Your fingers touched his on your cheeks, while you chewed on your lower lip.

“And what would you do for me to say this?” you asked seriously, making his hands hang down his body holding yours.

“What do you mean? What you want me to do?”

“You’re the one who should tell me what you’d do to have me back. Shouldn’t you show me your determination?”

“Wh…what?” his confused look almost made you chuckle aloud.

“Close your eyes.” the words left your mouth slower than he closed them.

“I really… really don’t know what you want me to do but if you’ll tell, I’ll do anything.”

“Jesus, Jinyoung, shut up.” you sighed and took a step closer to him. “You really shouldn’t have done everything this way.” you whispered. “But the way you did it makes me feel like the both of us are still teenagers.” you sighed heavily. “I wanted you to close your eyes so you’d get all nervous while I make you wait. Are you nervous? Do you want to know if I’ll refuse or agree?”

“I do.” he gulped.

“What if I’ll make you wait for an hour?” you held back to not touch his soft cheek.

“I guess I’ll wait but…” you interrupted him by smashing your lips against his. You couldn’t tiptoe because you lost your balance, forcing Jinyoung to bent a little. Your lips moved slowly against his, and even though he kissed you back his hands didn’t touch you. You wrapped your hands around his neck, kissing him faster than before and he pulled back. “What does this mean?” he blinked quickly.

“Nothing, I’m just kissing you. It’s not the reply.” you tried to kiss him again, when his hands held onto yours, forcing for you to let go of him.

“I don’t understand your game.”

“It’s because you’re not smart, even though you try to seem so.”

“Y/n.” he licked his lips and you wanted to kiss him again and again.

“Want to go upstairs?” you didn’t let him speak.

“What for?”

“To spend last minutes before you go to Busan together.”

“I shouldn’t have come.” he dropped your hands, turning on his heels to walk away. You watched him take quick steps towards his car that he always parked there. Halfway through, you suddenly realised.

“Jinyoung, wait. Wait!” you ran after him, quickly getting in front of him when he stopped walking. “You forgot something.”

“What?” he looked confused behind you and when he couldn’t find anything on the ground looked back at you.

“Me?” you raised your hands for him to hug you but he froze confused.

“Huh?”

“Didn’t you say you wanted me to go to Busan with you? I thought you’d feel relieved and would want to hug me.” you pouted and moved your hands back down.

“I can’t feel relief when I’m confused like this.”

“I want you to drop everything for me, and I want to go anywhere you want me to go with you, if you’ll promise to love me like you did, if you’ll promise to always stay by my side, okay?”

“But, what was this with doing something for you?” his brain seemed to not move on.

“I fooled around but you weren’t able to understand. I need to once again get used to the idea that you’re the biggest grandpa in the world.”

“I was thinking of all the options you could come up with.”

“Everything you do is more than enough.” you made your lips go in a straight line and smiled.

“I love you.” he leaned in to peck the corner of your lips. “And your crazy brain.”

THE END

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layuhsblog · 2 years

Text

Glimpse of us- joji inspired angst oneshot coming soon

it's in my drafts it'll be up as soon as I get recommendation on who it should be about

you can recommend which stray kids or got7 member i can make it about

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mykoreanlove · 2 months

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GOT7

🖤 JINYOUNG

things that made him run to you // coming back to you // .starved // I wanna know everything, all about you

🖤 JACKSON

on being real // 🥃 realizations // on Kinjaz // daddy fever // acts of intimacy // nightmares // backseat love. // conversations with love // AM hours // you're sick

🖤 JAEBEOM

can I see you tonight?

🖤 YOUNGJAE

spillthetea.fm

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iamyoursinblog · 1 year

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개새끼 (gaesaekki)

Pairing: Jackson Wang x Reader

Genre: smut

Word Count: 1,2 k

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LIST

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Jackson grabbed your hand as he pulled you into the bathroom. “Do you think I didn’t notice the way you look at me when you think no one sees” Jackson chuckled, making you freeze with your mouth open. “Especially your boyfriend”

"Are you crazy?" your face turn pale. “Yes, I am!” Jackson chuckled, nodding his head as he took a step towards you. “I'm going crazy every time when I see you fucking me with your eyes!” Jackson closed his eyes as he took a deep breath, "I'm going crazy because I want to fuck my best friend's girlfriend" Jackson bared his teeth at your shocked gaze, Jackson took off his shirt and threw it on the floor, his cock twitching in pants as your cheeks turned red. "One more step and I'll scream!" you said as you leaned back against the wall. “I promise that you will. My cock will make you scream with pleasure” Jackson chuckled. “I'm dating Jinyoung! Madman!!! Do you even know what you’re doing right now?!” you growled “I'm going to be a scumbag for my best friend?” he asked, and his smile widened. “But if Jinyoung doesn’t find out about this, then it won’t hurt him, right?” Jackson laughed as you pushed him hard. “Yeah, okay,” Jackson shook his head, laughing softly. “You can keep playing the shy girl who doesn’t want to fuck me.” Jackson pressed your hands against the wall above your head. “You can swear and tell me to stop…” Jackson moved closer to your "I know you want it as much as I do, my naughty little slut" Jackson pressed you against the wall with his body, pressing his hard cock into your lower abdomen. He almost laughed when you exhaled loudly, and your skin was covered with goosebumps. Jackson ran his tongue down your neck, and you trembled in his captivity. "You can keep pretending you don't dream about my cock sliding into your wet pussy, making moans escape your sweet lips," Jackson moaned biting your ear, rubbing his cock against your belly. You forcefully pushed him away when you couldn't hold the soft moan that escaped your lips. "Jerk!" you growled as you took a step towards the exit. Jackson growled as he grabbed your hand. He pressed you with your stomach onto the surface near the sink. "Liar!" he growled. "I'll let you go and never cross the line again if you're not horny right now" he unbuttoned your jeans, sliding his hand into your panties. "Jackson!" you almost suffocated as his fingers slid into your wet pussy. “Just look at that flowing pussy,” laughed Jackson. “It needs me so much!” Jackson pulled your jeans down your legs as he squatted down. He stretched your folds as he ran his tongue over your crotch. He pushed his tongue into your hole, making you moan. His tongue circled your clit, making your thighs tremble. “Shit…fuck me.” Jackson froze as a silent plea escaped your lips. He wasn't even entirely sure if it was in his head or for real. He stood up, meeting your gaze in the reflection of the mirror. “Repeat it,” he growled. He wanted to be sure it wasn't his fantasy. “Now!” You looked down, muttering under your breath. He wrapped your hair around his fist, pulling your head back, pressing your back against his chest. "I said… repeat!" he ordered while glaring at you in the mirror. “Fuck me!” you said. "Say it!" Jackson squeezed your neck, sinking his teeth into your skin. “Say you want my cock to fuck your wet pussy. Tell me that you dreamed about it every time you undressed me with your eyes, sitting in the arms of your boyfriend! Tell me that riding Jinyoung's cock, I was in your mind too!" He growled low as he got rid of his pants. “Jackson” you breathed out his name as he thrust his cock into your pussy. "Yes exactly." He fucked you hard, making his name fly from your lips with every thrust. He growled out of you as you turned your head away again as he tried to kiss you. "Do not play with me!" Jackson growled as he pushed you hard against the wall.

“Don't even think, Jackson!” you held out your hand to stop him. “I can fuck you but not kiss you. Is that what you want to say?" he raised an eyebrow at you. “It belongs only to him!” you said. Your words were spoken with such seriousness that it made him take a step back. Your words made his blood boil with anger. He grabbed your shirt and threw you to the floor before lunging at you. He put you on your knees in front of him, thrusting hard into your pussy. He fucked you ruthlessly, taking out his anger at you for your words that hit him like a slap, reminding him of what a bastard he became with every thrust into your pussy. “Just look how much you like my cock, my little slut!” he left a hard slap on your ass as your pussy squeezed his cock. He was on the verge of orgasm, just like you. You covered your mouth with your hand, muffling your moan when you finished. He fell on you, sinking his teeth into your shoulder, cumming inside you. “Remember it well how good you felt on my cock” Jackson chuckled. You pushed him away before getting off the floor. You quickly put on your jeans while he lay on the floor laughing at you. “First you ask me to fuck you, and now you pretend that you didn’t just moan while my cock was deep in you” You froze in front of the door at his words. He chuckled as he saw your jaw tighten. “Will you moan like that when Jinyoung will fuck you tonight?” he asked, getting up from the floor. “I hope my name doesn't accidentally slip off your lips while Jinyoung's cock slides into your tight pussy,” Jackson laughed. You walked out of the bathroom without looking at him.

. . . One week later. . . .

He was surprised to see a drunken Jinyoung sitting on the kitchen floor next to an almost empty bottle of whiskey. “What the fuck…” Jinyoung groaned, running his hand over his face in complete desperation, throwing the phone on the floor. "What's happened?" asked Jackson, coming closer. “Hyung… I don't understand… I don't understand anything…” Jinyoung shook his head meeting Jackson's gaze. Jackson recoiled as he saw Jinyoung's eyes filled with tears. “Why is she..” Jinyoung covered his face with his hands sobbing. “Jinyoung…” Jackson's voice was no more than a whisper. He was completely shocked by Jinyoung's condition… Did you really tell Jinyoung everything. “She just left me, sending a message that she cheated on me. Hyung…” Jinyoung could barely speak while sobbing. Jackson practically fell to the floor at his words. “Jinyoung… I…” “Hyung, I love her more than life, I don't care even if it's true…” Jinyoung shook his head. “A week ago, she pulled away from me when I tried to hug her after a dorm party. Then I heard her crying in the bathroom for half the night… And in the morning, she just packed her things and left before I even woke up." Jinyoung looked at Jackson. "Hyung, but can this really be true? I love her so much.. .” The pain in Jinyoung's voice made Jackson's heart shatter into a million pieces…

What did he done?..

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LIST

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#got7 #got7 x reader #jackson x reader #got7 jackson #got7 jinyoung #Jackson x you #Jackson x y/n #got7 x you #got7 x y/n #jackson wang #got7 jackson wang #got7 park jinyoung #park jinyoung #got7 angst #jinyoung

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multiphandomunnies · 1 month

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got7

reactions

girlfriend hugging them in their sleep

deserted island au

high school au

gf is a demon

s.o is shy with skinship

s.o is self conscious

imagines

mark

jackson

thank you

bf! jackson

trying again

single dad au

jaebum

it’s not too late

get over here

not now (*M*)

carnation

bf! jaebum

christmas special

i want to do these things with you

jinyoung

youngjae

bambam

christmas special

yugyeom

bf! yugyeom

let’s go out

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h00mandied · 6 months

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🌧️🎶

비가 내리고 음악이 흐르면 난 당신을 생각해요 당신이 떠나시던 그 밤에 이렇게 비가 왔어요 비가 내리고 음악이 흐르면 난 당신을 생각해요 당신이 떠나시던 그 밤에 이렇게 비가 왔어요

When rain falls and the music flows, I think of you That night when you left it was raining like this When rain falls and the music flows, I think of you That night when you left it was raining like this 난 오늘도 이 비를 맞으며 하루를 그냥 보내요 오 아름다운 음악같은 우리의 사랑의 이야기들은 흐르는 비처럼 너무 아프기 때문이죠 오 As I stand in the rain today too, I let the day pass by Oh, like a beautiful music our love stories are hurtful just like the flowing rain

난 오늘도 이 비를 맞으며 하루를 그냥 보내요 오 아름다운 음악같은 우리의 사랑의 이야기들은 흐르는 비처럼 너무 아프기 때문이죠 오 그렇게 아픈 비가 왔어요 As I stand in the rain today too,I let the day pass by Oh, like a beautiful music our love stories are hurtful just like the flowing rain Oh and then the sad rain fell

***

#jay b #jinyoung #lim jaebeom #park jinyoung #jj project #jjp #bnyoung #bnior #got7 #moodboard #rainyday #rain #like rain like music #lyric #kim hyunshik #mood #angst #Spotify

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sweetestofchaos · 2 years

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Gᴏᴛ7 Rᴇᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ...𝐴𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑓𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢

𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲: 𝖳𝗎𝗋𝗇𝗌 𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗁𝖾 𝗂𝗌𝗇'𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗈𝗇𝗅𝗒 𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾𝗌 𝗒𝗈𝗎

a/n: For the life of me, I cannot remember who requested this...I know it was a while ago. So yeah, sorry for the wait! I hope you enjoy this one.

Mark

Mark would just stare at Jackson with wide eyes for a few seconds before he caught himself and looked down at his folded hand in his lap. Jackson liked you too, huh? Well, shit. Now what was he supposed to do? Jackson was his boy, one of his best friends. Did he really want to put that all on the line just to maybe get the chance to call you his? Mark sighed and shook his head before he spoke up.

“I like y/n too…I have for a while now.” Mark could see the worry on Jackson’s face, thankfully he was in the same mindset as him. “I-I already asked them on a date, and they agreed.”

Jaebeom

Jaebeom wouldn’t be surprised at all. He knew someone was bound to see how great of a person you were, so why wouldn’t it have been Mark. Now the question was what were the two of them going to do about it. At the end of the day, him and Mark were boys. Bros before hoes as they say, right?

Jaebeom laughed and shrugged his shoulders, “If you like them, ask em out Hyung. You would look good together.”

Jackson

Jackson would feel like his world was crashing down around him. Why? Of all the people in the world, Youngjae had to like you. The one person that made Jackson’s heart go into overtime with just a smile or wave of their hand. No, this was horrible. Jackson wouldn’t be afraid to let Youngjae know that he feels the same way about you. If anything, Jackson would make it a point to let Youngjae know, no matter what they would still be cool.

“How can you like, Y/N? They’re supposed to be with me!” *dramatic screaming that he does*

Jinyoung

Jinyoung wouldn’t even be bothered to hear that Bambam has feelings for you. He knew he was bound to have a rival, but he didn’t feel threatened by Bambam at all. He knew you like the back of his hand and Bambam wasn’t your type. Jinyoung would smirk to himself and pat Bambam on the shoulder. He would encourage him to say something. Jinyoung would rather you break the news to Bambam about liking someone else rather than do it himself.

“Give it a shot, Bambam. I wish you luck.”

Youngjae

Youngjae would feel bad, extremely guilty for even liking the same person as Yugyeom. How did they fall for the same person? Didn’t that only happen on tv? Youngjae would confess to Yugyeom that he liked you too and the two of them would be at a standstill. The cinnamon roll of the group versus the baby of the group…oh no.

“Have y-you said anything to y/n? Do they like you?”

Bambam

Bambam would be in shock. There is no way that his Hyung, his leader would have feelings for the same person as him. No freaking way! How the hell can that even be real? Jaebeom liking you? Bambam would snort and flat out tell Jaebeom to let you go. He wouldn’t be mean about it but come on. He’s old and Bambam is young!

“Come on gramps, like there’s even a competition between the two of us.” Bambam would joke and Jaebeom would let him try to win your heart.

Yugyeom

WAR. The end all be all…no second chances. This was going to be brutal and Yugyeom was ready to win your heart. He loved Jinyoung like an older brother, but you were someone so very special to his heart. You were the only other person that really understood Yugyeom and didn’t treat him like a little kid. You treated him like a man, and he was going to prove himself.

“Hyung, y/n is very special to me…are you sure they mean as much to you?”

#soc got7 #mark tuan #lim jaebeom #jackson wang #park jinyoung #choi youngjae #bambam #kim yugyeom #got7 angst #got7 reactions #soc requests #request 32 #got7 x gn reader

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rainbow-recipe · 9 months

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no hug no kiss no Goodbye I'll Miss You no I Love You no I'll See You Soon? just staring into each other's glossy eyes brimming with tears? ok. it's fine. it's not I Love You anyways, it's "Do well, Or I Will Be Back"

#the devil judge #i did it #i finally finished it #my number 1 kdrama now wow #gay angst gets me every time #i will elaborate more in all my reblogs that i am about to spam #get ready #ok but while im here #can we just praise JiSung and JinYoung again #because wow wow wow #kang yo han #kim ga on #the devil judge spoilers

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write-it-good-imagines · 2 months

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Nothing More(M) - Five

Hello everyone!! Long time no see, indeed! I must say I hit writer's block these days but in no way did I abandon this story. Even more so now, when I am so eager to continue. This chapter will bring you spicy surprises and turning points ^^. Enjoy!

~6k words, angst, smut

I want to make you forget about that ex. In truth, I loved the idea of you overthinking all your texts. And I wanted all your neighbors to hear you yell when we have sex. I don’t want it to be a problem when we come together. And I don’t want us a secret.

Jackson plopped down on Mark’s couch, still carrying a serious look of disbelief on his face. “Look, I agree but Bambam literally said what we all thought. Collectively.”

Mark rolled his eyes at Jackson’s remark. He was searching for another song in his playlist to play on his vintage stereo system.

“I think we were more shocked to meet her like that,” Jinyoung continued, leaning against an empty small table in the living room. “Showing up at our studio.”

“And in that motorcycle jacket? Take my money. Did you know she had a bike?” Jackson put a hand dramatically over his chest.

Mark nodded. “Yeah, saw it first time I went to her house.”

“Living the dream. Hottest date, to ride the bikes together around town.”

“Could you stop fantasizing on my behalf?” Mark chuckled in Jackson’s direction and the latter laughed at the note. Mark then turned to Jinyoung, who was cocking an eyebrow. “I had no idea she would come to the studio, believe me. I wanted you to meet her under different circumstances.”

Jinyoung crossed his arms over his chest, a playful look in his eye. “You never told us why you came so early from your date.”

“Yeah, cause it wasn’t a date.” Mark commented and the other two men almost simultaneously turned to him. “Had the surprise to see her with another man.”

The playful look disappeared from Jinyoung’s expression. “You’d have to elaborate on that.”

“I can’t really elaborate, I didn’t stay around enough to see what happened next.” Mark shrugged his shoulders. “The guy had her backed against the lockers, a hand holding her cheek. It was not the first time he… they did that. It was the reason Sam came to the studio.”

“To explain.” Jinyoung completed, albeit not in agreement with the situation. “And what’s your take on that?”

Truth was, Mark did not have an exact answer to Jinyoung’s inquiry. Sure, the scenery of Samantha being present in the proximity of another man displeased and hurt Mark. He built some expectations for the two of them, carried away by their unquestionable synergy, and by the trust exuded by Samantha at every small dare or challenge presented by Mark. He believed in her words, and more than anything he believed in her. Mark believed in Samantha when she said she missed him, when she confided in him, when she said there would not be another guy. So, he put in the effort to carry himself in such a manner that would make Samantha desire him even more. At some point, Mark considered trying to have the talk with her, to play with his cards on the table, to build trust in them as more than just an arrangement.

At the very end, Samantha never promised anything, she never drew the line. Mark did not have it in him to throw the bouquet of the flowers he handpicked in the trash. But he was not indifferent to the image of her subjugated by the intimacy of another that was not him.

“I’ll hear her out.” Mark said lastly, seating himself by Jackson on the couch. A short quirk of the eyebrows as Jinyoung opted to simply nod his head.

“If you’re happy, I’m happy.”

Jackson chuckled. “If you wanted us to actually believe you, you should have used your acting skills at least.”

“Why? Not that convincing?”

Mark agreed with Jackson. “We’ve known each other 12 years. It takes so much more than that.”

The three of them laughed. Truly, a bond that not many people get to have in a lifetime. And Mark knew Jinyoung, as much as everyone else, was looking out for him.

“If you have something to say, just say it.”

Jinyoung sighed and threw his hands in the air. “Look, I know, a good-looking, bike-riding, smart surgeon woman, who has a mysterious aura about herself. I’d be a hypocrite to say I wouldn’t get interested.”

“You know what he’s gonna say.” Jackson extended an arm over the backrest of the couch.

“All I’m saying is that, given the circumstances, I wouldn’t be happy at all. If a guy touched or held the girl I liked like that.”

All eyes were focused on Mark.

“But why don’t you talk to her and set the record straight? I’m all for explaining,” Jackson shifted his body to face Mark, “but if you told her, you liked her beyond just the sex, at least you’d know it’s either this or that.”

Jinyoung moved his hands in a gesture that indicated he agreed with Jackson. And Mark agreed with them, too. In any given situation, he would be the type of man to express his wishes and voice his wants and needs. Mark did not necessarily like the chasing. Within his chest, he knew why he was still playing the game and why he did not walk away the second he saw Samantha with the stranger man who was playing with his mind. Regardless, Mark let the little evil elves whispering in his ear take the reins of reasoning. The bell of the front door started ringing vigorously.

“It’s complicated.” Mark rose from the couch. “It’s also Samantha at the door,” said he, half-doubtful he spoke the words to convince himself it truly was her at the door. When he opened it, he actually made sure of it.

Samantha looked very different since the morning visit to the studio. The commanding behavior softened to a natural feminine aura, the sun-kissed freckles no longer hidden behind foundation accompanied by the mellow smile she had the day they met, everything stunned Mark.

Samantha felt very different.

“Hey, beautiful.” Mark welcomed Samantha with an observation he’d hoped was as visible to her as much as it was to him. Mark was distracted by the lively bark of Murphy, eagerly anticipating a welcome as warm as his mother’s. So, he obliged, the smile sketched on his face growing as he knelt to ruffle Murphy’s fur.

Samantha followed Mark’s carefree movements with warmth coloring her features. She didn’t know what to expect from him; all that she hoped was that Mark wouldn’t look at her with repulsion. Instead, Samantha was met by the same jovial Mark she’d met the very first time. And it scared Samantha that Mark felt very different since morning, all the same.

Did he care, still?

“Hey, yourself.” Samantha replied and watched as he straightened his body to meet her eyes. How much did she wish that that would’ve been their reunion, that he’d plant a kiss on her lips and circle his arms around her frame in a longing embrace. Suddenly, Mark felt so far apart.

“Come in.”

Mark pushed the door open and guided Samantha into the living room. She noticed two very familiar silhouettes, Jackson as he was putting his leather vest on, and Jinyoung as he was gathering his things. Murphy’s little woofs distracted the two men into looking at the source of sound, smiling at the little creature. Eyes speedily travelled to Samantha’s physique, and both greeted her with a smile. Perhaps Jackson’s more expressive. He was the first one to formally introduce himself. There was a lively song playing in the background.

“I’m Jackson, nice to meet you, finally.”

Samantha prevented her eyes from widening. Maybe Mark did speak about her. She took Jackson’s hand and shook it, enjoying his amiability.

“Likewise, Jackson. I truly hope you didn’t think I was a freak or anything.” Samantha offered a smile of her own eliciting a chuckle from the other. She caught Jinyoung in the corner of her eye as he examined her. Not blatantly, yet not covertly either. Samantha wondered what they both thought about her.

“Far from that,” Jinyoung chimed in, giving his own hand for a greeting, “but you definitely incited the collective curiosity.”

Samantha took the invitation, meeting Jinyoung halfway. Out of everyone, she figured he was the toughest to impress. And on good merit, nonetheless. “I wouldn’t say about myself that I’m an open book but please know I’m more than happy to clear the curiosities.”

The corner of Jinyoung’s lips lifted in a modest smirk. “Maybe I’ll heed the invitation.”

Jackson cleared his throat and Jinyoung pulled back. “Don’t worry about us, we were just leaving.”

“No bother at all. I wouldn’t want us to be so formal, it was very nice meeting you both.” Samantha extended her hands to offer the two men a warm wave and a small dip of her head. Jackson and Jinyoung both did the same, the last action they made prior to heading out the door. “Likewise, Samantha”.

Mark’s loud sigh doubled the echo of the closing door which caused Samantha to fiddle with her fingers. “I must have made a terrible impression, haven’t I? They definitely think I’m a freak.”

“Nope, no freak,” Mark turned around to walk toward Samantha’s direction. As he was approaching, he was unzipping his hoodie. “They just don’t know you. Actually, Jackson was quite smitten with you, I could swear he’d want to steal you for himself.”

It was the first time Mark had openly spoken about his members, even more so about anything that had to do with their opinion about her. Mark’s words were not reassuring enough for Samantha as eyes were still focused on her nervous fingers. She didn’t know what to make of the entire situation. “Jinyoung doesn’t like me.”

Mark grabbed at the hem of his T-shirt to throw it over his head. A bracelet at his wrist was tangling loosely when he guided Samantha’s chin to make her look at him. “Out of all of us, Jinyoung is the one who doesn’t play games when it comes to people. You have to make him trust you before he lets you in."

The initial nervousness Samantha felt while fidgeting with her fingers transformed into butterflies into her stomach. Although the main emotion she was feeling was uneasiness, at his words, and at his sudden naked torso. She had but a moment to watch the muscles of his abdomen contract and relax with the movement of the arm which was holding her frozen in place. Henry’s most similar gesture crossed her mind. “Do you play the game, Mark?”

Mark’s irises were fixated on hers. The tone of his voice softened and lowered with each spoken word, until it became little more than a whisper. A question for a question. “Are we playing the game, Sam?”

Samantha’s lips parted with a sigh, the knot in her stomach tightening. There was no hint to suggest that Mark was not serious with his inquiry. She knew the answer to his question, but the words were frozen like they weren’t hers to speak. While Mark was looking at her, with the stoicism of his body and the seriousness of his eyes, Samantha presented herself agonizingly transparent.

“Wasn’t this the way he was holding you?” taunted Mark, drawing closer to her in an even voice. His other hand found the clothed valley of her hips. “Did you want him to kiss you?”

“No.” Samantha stated, an ounce of desperation evading beyond her control. The infinitesimal distance Mark was keeping between them was slowly driving her crazy. And he knew he held all control. “At no point did I want him to kiss me.”

Silence followed. A harrowing silence growing heavier with each movement of Mark’s brown orbs drawing back and forth on her features. Samantha grabbed Mark by the chest. “Say something goddammit!” she urged.

Mark pulled Samantha into him and slammed his lips against hers. In the background, a sexual melody mix broke into the stereo system. Samantha wobbled on her feet, which caused Mark to tighten his grasp around her figure. The background music melted with the swift ringing in her ears and the tips of her fingers turned cold from the unanticipated contact. Mark’s kiss was raw and hurried, yet obscenely sensual. Samantha’s lungs were deflating quickly, and Mark did not seem too eager to let her breathe. It was the first time he initiated such a kiss. His lips had always worked against hers with tenderness, at times enticing, but never so ardently carnal.

It was a possessive kiss and Mark wanted Samantha to feel it.

Mark pushed their bodies into the couch, and he slid his knee in between her thighs. During the brief moment their lips were separated, Samantha gasped for air, which was rather a sharp moan with Mark settling above her, and his clothed knee tormenting her womanhood. “Mark, I can’t breathe.”

“I couldn’t breathe either when he was towering over you, Samantha.” His visage was wearing the same chilling expression, albeit a sliver of distress hiding behind it. “I imagined him doing all sorts of things to you, with you. Fuck.”

Mark tilted his head to the side, a canine digging into the plush of his lower lip. Samantha’s eyes were watching him intensely. She was devoid of any courage to speak a word. Never would she have imagined she would see Mark like that. Not for her.

“I missed you girl, I missed you. And I…” You’re all I fucking think about.

Samantha gulped. She was observing Mark’s every gesture, every little shift in his facial expression, every word he was speaking. All the feelings in her chest were strangers and Mark was tempting and enchanting. He was everything Samantha wanted him to be. Even when he suppressed his thoughts, Mark was everything Samantha wanted. And he was there, in her immediate grasp.

You’re all I ever thought about.

“Kiss me, Mark.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. Mark lowered his body instantly to connect the kiss in a lustful motion. His tongue lost no time to part Samantha’s lips and find her own into a frenzied tango. As his hands slid down to play with the hem of her t-shirt, so did the ever-growing feelings for the woman he was holding. The blood in his veins was pulsating with apparent unrequited affection, and it set him ablaze.

Mark broke the kiss in a nimble motion to undress Samantha of her shirt, to reveal her braless breasts. The tantalizing sight aroused Mark like it did the first time. For him, sex with Samantha felt like it was the first time every time. There was always something new he’d discover in the voluptuousness of her body, in the way her body would curve differently with each heated touch of his hand. Mark licked his lips and undid her shorts.

“Mark…” Samantha mewled, the cold breeze circling her breasts provoked a shudder. She edged her breasts as her eyes darted back and forth between Mark’s hands and the growing bulge in his jeans. Samantha was struggling to form coherent thoughts when he was immorally commanding the pace. She didn’t fight the vulgar lust invading her core. It was easier giving in to the euphoria than acknowledging the truth.

Easier than voicing that Mark should be the one.

“Tell me, darling.” There was a wicked inflection in Mark’s tone, busy with undressing Samantha of her shorts and underwear all at once. “What do you want?”

If it was any other moment, Samantha would have said it was his love she wanted. Still, a hue of shyness colored her rosy cheeks. “I want you, Mark.”

Mark was happy to obey, even if he was convinced Samantha was not speaking seriously. She wanted his body, while he desired her soul. In the heat of the moment, for the short time they’d spend as one, Mark heard what he needed to. That she wanted him, and she’d choose him. He lowered his body to plant kisses through the valley between her breasts, the butterfly pecks eliciting sultry moans out of Samantha’s throat. When his lips passed her chest’s threshold, Mark continued the delicious trail to her abdomen, one hand encircling Samantha’s breast. The other was keeping her thigh from squirming.

Samantha closed her eyes and threw her head into the soft material of the couch to indulge in the intense eroticism Mark was injecting into her body. When his sinful mouth reached her womanhood, Mark chuckled. Then he continued to leave kisses on her inner thigh, deliberately ignoring the wetness of her cavern. Samantha was vexed by Mark’s actions, and she groaned in protest. The hand previously on her breast travelled to her hip to intertwine with her fingers. Mark acknowledged her objection by nibbling a violet spot into her thigh. He traced it with the free index, shifting his body to worship Samantha’s other thigh with blissful movements of the tongue. The little perverted sounds she was making were truly driving Mark to impatience.

The way Samantha’s body was submitting to his febrile touches indicated that she wasn’t that far away either.

Mark pulled away momentarily to unzip his jeans and dispose of them on the floor. The rupture of their connected hands forced Samantha to dig her fingers into the plush of the sofa. The heat in her genitals was much more intense than she anticipated it would be. The simple fact that Mark retreated from tending to her pelvis made her moan loudly, and her vagina clench. Samantha watched him as he undressed himself to reveal his throbbing shaft, and she bit her lip in anticipation. Mark smirked at her and climbed atop her to seat himself between her legs. As he was leaning down to reach her level, the tip of his cock rimmed against soaked clit.

Mark linked their foreheads together, supporting himself with one arm by the side of her head. His other hand rested at the cusp of her jaw. He angled himself at her saturated entrance and slid the tip of his penis inside her. A guttural moan echoed in the air.

“We never did it like this, so tell me if it hurts.” Spoke Mark in a gentle tone and opened his eyes to observe Samantha. She gently shook her head and her fingers stretched into Mark’s shoulder blades to guide his body in a slow thrust. He let out a groan from the depth of his throat, feeling the creamy walls of her vagina enclosing around his shaft. Mark gave her a moment to adapt to his size, gazing intently at her. Samantha was so beautiful, with flushed cheeks and her splendid naked body, all of her offered to him.

Mark felt his heart ache.

“How can you say I’m not making love to you when I’m touching you like this?”

Samantha’s eyelids closed and fluttered open with Mark’s affirmation. The coherent words she tried to form were dispelled instantly when he started moving inside her with controlled thrusts, each forward move taunting her sweet spot. Samantha opened her mouth only to allow the moans to flood the air. And Mark was watching every contraction of her body and indulging in each pulsation of her pussy.

He leaned down to nip at the lobe of her ear. “When you’re giving yourself to me like this?”

“Mark…” Samantha reached to his face to lead the hazel of his eyes to hers. In his eyes she found the same commanding yearning but propelled by a raw sincerity that Mark had not given to her. Everything he was doing gave her a sense of serenity, fueled by the abnormally erotic movements of his hips. In a matter of minutes, she surrendered to him and to the zealous whines her lungs were making.

“What is it, baby?” He picked up the speed of his thrusts, heeding the contractions in Samantha’s womanhood. “You’re close, I know. What I didn’t know is how wet you could get.”

Samantha intended to avert her bashful expression, but Mark’s touch kept her focused on him. “Don’t hide. Let me take care of you.”

Amidst the whorl of sentiments and thoughts racing through her mind, Samantha found an anchor in Mark. She registered all the words he’d spoken to her and all the shielded gestures, and bare confessions. Samantha was powerless to respond, instead. There never was a man in her life to bear his heart on his sleeve, even half of how Mark was bearing his. In her normality, he was an abnormality. And still, he made good of his words and actions and took care of her.

Samantha relaxed in his embrace and extended her body to plant a kiss on his lips. A mellow kiss which Mark reciprocated so naturally that life halted for a second.

Then Mark enveloped Samantha as her body abruptly contracted. She held on to him as she reached for nirvana, her vocal cords enchanting Mark with lascivious breaths repeatedly. Hearing Samantha succumb to ecstasy was the sweetest testament Mark could receive. The hot blood in his veins met the point of boiling as he was getting closer to climax. A couple more lustful thrusts accompanied by roaring groans, each growing faster than the other, brought Mark as close to the edge as he could get. He guided himself out of Samantha’s core to reach his orgasm and paint her abdomen with his white cream.

Samantha enjoyed that particular view of Mark, so much that it was his turn to show a timid smile. It took a little while for Samantha to follow what happened, and when she did, both of them chuckled at each other.

“I’ll get some paper towels.”

“You’ll find me here.”

Samantha’s ears followed the sound of Mark’s steps and the muffled grunt that followed soon after. He returned with a handful of paper towels, and Samantha couldn’t look away from his still hard penis.

Mark took one cloth to clean his canvas half-heartedly. “Round two?”

Samantha giggled. “I’ll have to refuse. Round one was unexpectedly intense.”

“You have no idea how sexy you are.”

Samantha felt her cheek darken once more. She was watching silently as Mark was wiping her abdomen. When he was done, he walked away to throw the used napkins.

“Are you okay? You’re unusually quiet.” Mark’s voice reverberated through the kitchen.

“I’m alright, just a bit tired.” She responded, and Mark immediately walked back to her. He knelt down with her back facing her, gesturing for her to hop on his back.

“Let’s get to bed.”

Samantha hummed and attached herself to Mark’s body. She had never noticed how broad his back was, under the hoodies and oversized shirts he was usually wearing. Mark effortlessly rose from the ground and carried her to the nearby bedroom. He carefully seated Samantha on the edge of his neat bed, and she smiled to herself at the considerable number of pillows residing there. In front of the bed there was a small dressing which Mark opened to retrieve one clean shirt and a pair of shorts for himself.

“I don’t want you to get cold. Here, arms up.” Mark whispered, and Samantha complied with his actions. The dark shirt Mark had given her was large enough to reach her knees. He tossed the thin summery blanket away and helped Samantha up into the nook of his bed.

“Thank you, Mark. You’re so protective of me.” She smiled softly and happily accepted the invitation to encompass herself into Mark’s arms.

He raised an eyebrow, even though she couldn’t see. “You don’t want me to be?”

“I do,” she answered quickly and laced their hands together. “I like this a lot.”

Mark tilted his head to follow the lazy sunset shimmer through the window. The loose hand he folded under his head served as a good excuse to avoid looking Samantha in the eye. As easy as it had been to drown in her orbs while laying together, just as hard it was to do so while returning to reality. Samantha noticed the atypical silence. With the aphrodisiac sensations fading away, all the words that Mark spoke to her started to click. Samantha was drawing absentmindedly on Mark’s forearm with the tip of her index, trying to reproduce the memory of each phrase. The subtle agony of I couldn’t breathe either when he was towering over you, Samantha, the slight panic in the I imagined him doing all sorts of things to you, with you.

The melancholy in the How can you say I’m not making love to you when I’m touching you like this? which made Samantha’s heart tremble was the seed of hope planted in her soul. If there was any source of truth to say that Mark truly harbored feeling for her, it was not tangible anymore.

Mark, once again, felt so different.

“What are you thinking about, Mark?” Samantha looked up at him just in time to see how breathtaking the warm colors of the sunset appeared on his features.

He was silent for a while. “About you.”

Samantha furrowed her eyebrows. “What about me? I’m right here.”

A little sigh. “Nothing… it’s just I’m leaving tomorrow, and we won’t see each other a while again.”

“I know…” Samantha’s voice trailed off in sadness. “I don’t want you to go.”

Mark gave a little squeeze to her hand, eyes still watching the first moments of dusk adorning the sky. “That’s not under my control, unfortunately.”

“I don’t want you to go out of my life, Mark.”

Samantha could swear the vein in Mark’s wrist strained at her words. Still, his expression remained impassable. After a couple moments spent in unmerciful silence, he continued. “Do you think about us? About what we could be?”

The palm of her hand was starting to sweat. Easy answer? Yes, I cannot devote myself to anything that’s not you. True answer? Do you want to take my broken heart? Samantha sensed that she was running out of time, and in hindsight, she should have known that earlier. A man like Mark who had the world at the tips of his fingers, who could have anyone he wished for, wouldn’t say the things he said to any woman that easily. All of it meant something, it should have meant something. It was everything Samantha clung to, for it to mean something. She had to make a decision.

“Forget I asked. You don’t need to say anything.”

“He hit me, Mark.”

The music formerly playing in the background silence of the living room stopped altogether. Mark’s phone must have died, and so did his concentration at Samantha’s sudden confession. His head jerked back to her direction in an impulse to check if she was hurt, even if there was no earthly possibility for her body to be in physical pain at that moment.

Samantha’s mouth was dry, and it shocked her to see Mark’s immediate reaction. She didn’t lose him, he was still there with her. “He hit me after he killed a mother and her unborn child in the operating room.”

“How are we doing there, mrs. Dalton? Can you say something for me?”

Henry’s deft motions of his nimble hands kept raising the standards for a second-year resident. The attendings in the observing room were watching the awake brain surgery with great interest, as was the then-director of the hospital.

“Oh, I can’t wait for this to be done,” the woman rubbed her hand lovingly on her pregnant belly. “Sandra should know the adventures mommy went through.”

“Status on the baby, Doctor Stoss?”

Up until the question was addressed to her, Samantha did not unpeel her eyes from the fetal monitor. “Like a Swiss watch.”

“Keep saying the good news, Doctor Stoss. I’m sure mama Dalton would love to hear that more often.”

“Oh Doctor Carter, I’m sure you were born such a charmer.”

Samantha’s vision was fixated on the handle of the dressing door. She was explaining her memories as if she was living them again. “This surgery had half the hospital watching. It was a procedure previously not done in that medical center, and Henry had had the privilege to participate in one once when we were interns in Toronto. He’s thinking of himself as the hotshot, as he should. His skill and knowledge are top-notch. But they failed him.”

“Doctor Stoss over there can attest to me being a charmer. Or not.” Henry chuckled under his surgical mask, and he quickly stole a glance at Samantha, before focusing on the region of the tumor which he had just reached. “We’re here, mama. Shouldn’t take too long to take it out.”

Mrs. Dalton’s vitals spiked up a level and Samantha observed the nerves on her face. She left her intern in charge of the fetal monitor and approached the woman to reassure her. “It’s going to be okay. We’re here for both you and your little girl.”

Just as Samantha was returning to her previous post, henry was actively preparing to remove the tumor located in a tricky area of mrs. Dalton’s brain. “I’m in.”

The collective audience in the gallery leaned forward to witness Henry’s work. At that point, the loud beeping of the machines pierced the operating room with alarming sounds.

“Doctor Carter, baby’s vitals are starting to drop.”

“What do you mean? What’s going on with my baby?”

“Please try to remain calm, Mrs. Dalton. These reactions happen naturally when a tumor body is being extracted. Once I take this out, everything will get back to normal—”

“Only it didn’t.” Samantha’s fingers curled unconsciously as if reaching out for a scalpel. “I was repeatedly telling him I needed to do a C-Section to save the girl and put her in NICU. At seven months old, she had all the odds of surviving. If only we moved fast enough…”

The distressing sounds of the monitors multiplied when the woman lost consciousness. Her vitals became hectic graphics on the monitors, and Henry visibly stiffened.

“Henry, we are losing this baby. I need to perform the emergency C-Section now.”

“No. I’ll save them both, wait.”

While Henry was applying the standard emergency measures, Samantha’s attention was distracted by the uneasiness of the spectator gallery. She briefly noticed Jonathan, with a looming look on his face that any surgeon regardless of their specialty would understand. The unborn baby was losing its vitals.

“Henry, I’ll move forward. Scalpel, please!”

“I told you to wait! Doctor Stoss, I need you to follow the protocol of my OR.”

“I guess indeed it was his surgery. But those were not his lives to take.”

Half-heartedly, Samantha hesitated to start the neonatal protocol. While Henry had authority, he did not have a positive chance to save both lives. When the fetal monitor fell flat, Samantha went against his instructions and cut into the mother’s belly.

“By the time we took out the little girl, her heart had already stopped beating. We did all the resuscitation maneuvers we knew and could…” Samantha let out a sigh, and Mark pulled her tighter into him. “All hell broke loose. I don’t know when Jonathan got to the OR, but he was there for all of it.”

“Time of death…” Samantha’s discouraged voice echoed throughout the macabre silence of the operating room. “Six thirty-one.” Two paces away, resuscitation maneuvers were still going for the woman on the table. When Henry realized there was no use for them anymore, he stepped away from the body, prompting everyone else to follow his example. “Time of death, six thirty-five.”

Nobody in the room dared move a finger. Two casualties in an operating room which, on paper, could have been avoided. It was a medical disaster. Samantha pulled down her surgical mask, to try and take hold of the situation. “We’ll need to go outside and inform the father—”

“You let her die.”

All eyes fell on Henry. Samantha couldn’t believe her ears. “Excuse me?”

“That baby could have been saved.”

Henry’s voice grew louder, more assertive. Samantha stood her ground, deliberately choosing to ignore Henry’s last comment. “I understand this must be a difficult situation for you, Doctor Carter, but in no way am I to blame.”

“That baby could have been saved!”

As his voice grew into a striking holler, Samantha no longer recognized the man in front of her. She was searching for the proficient doctor, for the partner that he was. And for the lover that he used to be.

“Henry,” Samantha kept calm even though her head was spinning in disbelief “you told me to follow your protocol in your OR—"

At that point, Samantha could not register what had just happened. Henry raised his hand at her and slapped her on the cheek. There was a shared gasp among the people in the room who refused to understand Henry’s tameless reaction. By the time Samantha tilted her head back to look at Henry, Jonathan had stepped up to punch him in the face.

Mark raised an eyebrow. Although he got off to a rocky start with Jonathan, his respect for him grew substantially.

“A couple of guys had to restrain Jonathan because clearly that wouldn’t have been the last punch he would’ve thrown. After that, I went to inform the father of his… losses. Henry was not allowed to accompany me. The father sued the hospital for malpractice, and I have no idea how they settled. I only saw Henry once, after that. They summoned all the medical operating staff to testify. He never looked me in the eye, not once. I wanted to believe that he was sorry, something to make me believe our relationship was not a lie. I never got closure for that.”

Mark waited patiently for Samantha to continue. When she did not, he placed a chaste kiss on the crown of her head. “Did you need that? Closure?”

She sighed. “I guess I did. When you think you have something of that magnitude with someone, only for it to fall apart in the most gruesome way, I needed some sort of a life raft. Truth is, we started falling apart even before he hit me. Henry was starting to become distant and full of himself. But I never expected him to be violent.”

Mark noticed the flake of regret in her voice, to briefly wonder how things are settled in the vast Universe. Hadn’t Henry done that, Mark wouldn’t have gotten to fall in love with her. Life was funny, that way.

Samantha sighed, once again, yet more out of liberation. Albeit painful, she truly needed to convey the feelings out loud for them to become less repressive. Maybe to disappear.

“Can you understand now, Mark? Why he was able to hold me down at all? Why it is tough for me to trust someone again?”

Mark’s lungs filled with air. “Even me?”

Samantha closed her eyes. He did not need to spell it out loud for her to understand what he meant. “I just need a little more time, Mark.”

Indeed, he never expected to hear anything different, it still did not mean it hurt less. On the one hand, because Samantha still didn’t see him fit to be trustworthy, and on the other hand because he seemingly was giving more than she was ready to receive.

“Should I keep my distance then?” his voice was flat, too much so that he must have given away he was disappointed, because Samantha tightened their holding hands.

“No.” She answered timidly, looking up at him for the first time in a long while. Mark’s eyes were diverted to the emerging summer night. He was slipping away through her fingers, once more.

“I don’t know if I can give you both ways.” Not when I know I'll never treat you the way he did.

6 notes · View notes

vad-hander · 2 years

Text

NO NAME

Pairing: Johnny (NCT) x reader x Jinyoung (GOT7)

Genre: Series | Smut | Angst | Fluff

Words: 9.3k

Three soft knocks on the door an hour later made you excited and scared at the same time. Your eyes checked out your appearance in the mirror next to the door. Rather than checking if you looked attractive, you tried to make sure none of the bruises were showing. Your eyes looked less tired than the did for the past month after the enormous amount of sleep you had tonight and this was enough for you to take your appearance as attractive enough.

“It’s Jinyoung.” you cold hear his low voice behind the door, when you probably took too long to open it. You opened the door slightly smiling at him quickly, when his head raised to see you.

“Hi“ you moved to the side, letting him in.

“Hi.“ he stretched his lips in an awkward smile “I didn’t know you live at a hotel.“ his eyes ran over the room.

“Yeah… It’s temporary. I’ll move to an apartment, well… as soon as I’ll find one.“ you chuckled awkwardly, walking towards the bed, the only sitting available in your ‘luxurious’ room. “What you brought?“ you sat in a comfortable position on the corner of the bed, watching him take off his shoes and walk towards you.

“Thought you’d want a pizza so I got one, they had pasta that looked so good I had to take it too.”

“Sounds yummy.” you tapped free space on the bed next to you, and he sat, still holding a bag of take out in his hands. “Let’s put this away and eat here.” you suggested, tossing all the food that was on the tray to the table below the TV. Jinyoung sat there staring at you quietly and you froze when the tray was clean, staring at him too. “What?” you smiled nervously and fixed your hair on your shoulders.

“You fought with Johnny, right?”

“Why?”

“You either didn’t want me to come to Johnny’s so you ran here and got a room or you fought with him and live here now, which honestly seems like a more real option to me.” you blinked quietly.

“Yeah, we fought.” you sat back next to him trying to contain yourself. Memories of the so called fight made you want to curl up on Jinyoungs lap and cry.

“I hope you’re fine… I know how much you care for him, but… he wasn’t acting right. I hope you understand it.” Jinyoungs eyes searched for yours but you refused to look back at him.

“I understand it but it’s still difficult to accept it.”

“I know, I hope you’ll be able to get over it quickly.”

“Turns out I’m kinda bad with getting over things.” you chuckled and finally looked at him. “Let’s eat, no more sad thoughts.” you smiled and bent to grab the food, pushing your hair that fell forward away. “Mmmh, the pizza smells good. You stretched your neck out smelling it properly. “Oh wait, that’s BBQ sauce?” you turned your face to see him with an excited smile. He stared at you seriously not responding. “What’s wrong?” you looked at him confused.

“What is that?”

“Where?” you furrowed your eyebrows.

“This.” he raised his hand and it took you less than a second to realise what he was about to tell you. His fingers pointed at his own neck and laid back on his lap. He looked as if he was shy to ask.

“Oh this?” you pulled the sleeves of the hoodie onto your palms more. “I fell asleep with my earrings on.” you chuckled and moved the hair back to the front.

“Can I… can I see?” his eyes kept running over your face.

“It’s nothing.” you chuckled and made a weird hand gesture. “I’m hungry.” you tried to turn his attention to food. You took everything out of the bag, placing the food Jinyoung brought at the table. “I thought you’d bring more.” you giggled.

“I’m not that hungry, you can eat.”

“Jinyoung.” you stared at him cutely.

“What?”

“I thought you wanted to eat too. Didn’t you suggest eating?”

“Let’s find you a place? I don’t like the idea of you living here.”

“It’s a nice hotel, it’s all good. Plus, I only been here for like a day, I haven’t even started looking for something.”

“It’s nice but… maybe you should stay at your moms for a while…?”

“Not gonna suggest your place?” you laughed lightly at his startled face expression. “I’m just kidding. Let’s eat.”

You sighed heavily feeling like your stomach could explode any second, dropping your back onto the bed. Jinyoung turned around to watch you, munching on the last bit of the pasta. His eyes ran over your body and you couldn’t stop yourself from shivering. It didn’t feel awkward, it didn’t feel in the first place, but now, it was just nice to know nothing in his life changed. He was still the same.

“And what about your students? What was this girls name…? The smart one? Is she still your students?” Jinyoung fell next to you, propping his head on his palm, laying on his side.

“No, she’s not, they don’t have literature anymore. The freshmen this year though are very smart. I don’t think I’ve ever felt at ease during lectures, like I’m sure they’re listening.”

“That’s great, innit?” you smiled and turned your head to look at him.

“It really is, finally, whenever I ask a question there’s not only a single hand in the entire auditorium.”

“So your job finally became your dream job?” you tried your best to not look at him for too long.

“Yeah.” he chuckled and licked his lips. “And what’s up with your job?”

“Oh… my job.” you sighed and rolled on the bed to hide your face in the pillow. “I wish I was a housewife or maybe just a millionaire?” you raised your head to look at him and dropped it back onto the pillow. He chuckled.

“I’m sorry, but…” You turned to face him and felt his hand on your neck. “It’s not an bruise from an earring, it’s a fingerprint.” your heart skipped a beat because you were dying to feel his fingers on your neck but in a different situation.

“It’s not.” you tried to not give away your nervousness, moving his hand away from your neck and holding onto it a little bit too long.

“Can I see then to calm down?” you shook your head no and shivered. “Can you then tell me what happened?” he lowered his face closer to yours, not moving too close to not invade your privacy. “Please.” he pleaded and it was hard for you to decide whether to show him or not. You knew what would happen if you won’t - he’ll get all grumpy and quiet and if you will, oh well, you would not want to see that.

“I don’t want you to be upset.”

“I promise I won’t be.” you nibbled on your lower lip, feeling tears prickle your eyes while you stared at him.

“I told him that I know everything. He became angry and began calling Sieun names because he thought she told me. I said I have to leave, that I can’t live with him anymore and he began shouting. I… I asked him how long he dated Sieun, while he was trying to make me fall in love with him, this whole time he slept with her. He said he needed someone to fuck and didn’t want to force me. What kind of excuse is that?” you tried to laugh but failed. “He said he loved me all his life, said he only did it because he wanted us to be happy. He begged me to stay, he was grabbing my wrists and all that. He wanted to see my phone I don’t know why, to see who I called maybe, because he thought of you too, but I said it wasn’t you who told me.” you paused and watched Jinyoung’s face expression. He looked very collected and calm.

“And…?” he asked when you paused for too long.

“I turned away to take my things but his hand grabbed my neck and pulled me harshly against the wall. He wanted the phone and I said I’ll never give it to him, he began looking for it, running his hands all over me. Then when he couldn’t find it, he pushed me to bed and held my head into the duvet.” your eyes blinked multiple times unconsciously, a wave of goosebumps ran down your body and you closed your eyes unable to hold back anymore.

“And what?” Jinyoung still pushed and you took a loud breathe in, looking at him with no feelings.

“He pulled my underwear down and did what usually guys do with a girl bent over their bed. I cried for him to stop but he didn’t care obviously. When he came he said he’s sorry and that he needed it badly. Told me I can shower, and when I got out of the bathroom there was no him in the room, so I packed everything that fit into my backpack and ran away as quick as I could.”

“No…” Jinyoung gulped and sat up. “No fucking way.” you could hear his heavy breathing from afar, sitting up beside him. He stood up quickly and walked towards the exit.

“Where you’re going?” you ran behind him, stopping behind his back when he began putting his shoes back on.

“I will fucking kill him.”

“Jinyoung, please.” you gasped and grabbed onto his waist when you didn’t know what to do. “Don’t go anywhere.” you squeezed him tighter, resting your cheek against his back. “It’s not worth it, he doesn’t worth it. Please don’t.” you cried again, breathing heavily. Jinyoungs fingers lightly brushed yours and held onto them, signalling for you to let go of him. He turned around, grabbing your face.

“Let’s go to police or the hospital. There’s probably left something of him… inside. If he hurt you, then they’re going to confirm violent penetration. You have bruises on your neck. Where else? We can go to police and they will arrest him for domestic abuse and sexual assault.”

“Jinyoung, please, stop, I’m fine. I didn’t want to tell you because I knew you’d react this way. I just wanted to spend time with you, not talk about Johnny and what he did. I… I forgave him. It’s in the past. I don’t want to live a life holding grudges against someone that was close to my heart for the most part of my life.”

“You…” Jinyoungs was breathing as if he ran a marathon. You were trying to not seem upset but his eyes were giving away too much. He looked hurt and you hated yourself for wanting to see him so badly you basically invited him to see what Johnny did. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I told you all about his lies and then let you get into his hands and made you go through all of it. I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.” he lowered his eyes, touching your shoulders the next moment. You felt his chin tuck into your neck next, making you slip into Jinyoung’s aura in a blink of an eye. Your hands automatically found his waist and you caressed his sides trying to calm him down.

“Jinyoung.” you whispered and heard him sigh. “Jinyoung.” you said once again, and he moved his head away a little. “Im really glad I ran into you on the street. I’m very glad you noticed me, because my life was turning into hell before I met you. I just hope to feel myself as I used to, even though I know i won’t, because I keep thinking about Johnny and about everything. I’m just happy you’re here with me.”

“I’m glad I met you too. I really missed you.” your heart began beating faster, you suddenly felt nervous in his presence. “I just hope we can understand each other as we used to, I hope we’ll be good friends. I really care for you, I don’t want to leave you alone like that.”

“Yup, good friends, we can be that.” you made an awkward giggle, moving your hands away from him. “Let’s sit back down.” you said quickly walking away to sit, wiping a lonely tear from your cheek.

You crawled on the bed, sitting with your back against the wall. “You can sit next to me.” you tapped on the bed next to you.

“Okay.” he stretched his lips in a forced smile.

“What’s with the face?” you chuckled. “Do you feel awkward around me?”

“I just smiled.” he said with a slight annoyance, sitting next to you. You stared at the turned off TV, feeling pressure from the little space left between you two.

“A question…” you gulped, braking the silence.

“Yeah?”

“D…did you mean it? Saying you wanted to marry me?”

“Why would I lie?” he turned his head towards you looking as serious as ever. “I even bought the ring.” your head turned to face him way too quickly you almost snapped your neck.

“And where is it now?”

“In the deepest corner of my desk at home.” he made a throaty chuckle.

“You should sell it.” you added quickly and looked at his face expression.

“I…I’m not a great gold seller. I don’t even know where you can sell something like that.” he chuckled and gulped again, making a chuckle leave his mouth the next second. “It’s funny, how I almost said maybe it’s for the best it all turned out this way, but realised all of a sudden it really didn’t for you. Maybe I should’ve insisted more on talking with you and seeing you, but at the time in really felt like a did the most.”

“Did it for you?” Jinyoung looked back at you “Did everything change for the better for you?”

“Of course I missed you, I loved you, I really loved you but now I’m just okay. Just how I used to be before I loved you. It’s not better and not worse.” you want to ask if he just said it or meant that he didn’t have any feelings left for you.

“I’m sorry. You know that I’m the one to blame for this, right? It’s me, I just followed Johnny’s lead, when I should’ve listened to you. I just made myself live in pain, I made you hurt and now I’m just here, thinking of how I could’ve been happy if I didn’t do all of it. My life is a fucking regret, everything is a fucking regret. I hate me.” tears just sprinkled from your eyes, forcing your hands to hide your face in them. Jinyoung’s featherlight touch made your body shiver. He caressed you carefully, trying to calm you down but only made everything worse.

“Y/n, you’re going to be fine. Even if it wasn’t for the best, everything might change. I’m sure everything will change. You’ll meet someone you’ll love again, you’ll meet new friends and will be happy as you used to be.” you felt his face close to you, turned to see him. You leaned in, feeling your brain go in overdrive. You couldn’t hold back from kissing him when he was so close to you, right next to your lips. You could practically feel them on yours. You looked him in the eyes and moved a tiny bit closer, noticing how he didn’t move away.

“Jinyoung…” you moved even closer and hooked a hand around his neck. Your fingers ran through the hair on the back of his head and it felt like he stopped breathing. “I still love you.” you whispered and kissed him. Your heart burst and even though you were dreaming of kissing him every day of the past year, it still felt nothing like you imagined it would be. Hot tears ran down your cheeks and you pulled back when he didn’t kiss you back. “I’m… I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s me. I should’ve told you before.”

“No, you clearly did, you said you loved me. I should’ve realised it’s not a slip of the tongue.”

“No, no. I love you, with all of my heart.”

“But it’s not the same, I get it.” you smiled and moved a little back.

“It’s… it’s just that I began seeing someone.” you blinked multiple times to not begin crying again. You jumped up, running to the bathroom. It was a stupid, stupid idea.

“You didn’t text me back for two weeks, you made me nervous.” Jinyoung’s eyes were judging you harshly but the tone of his voice was neutral. “I came to your hotel room but you didn’t open, then I was told you left the next morning after I left.” he sounded too calm to people around you, while you could clearly see in his eyes he was throwing rocks at you.

“I just…” you tried to smile and tell him something to calm him down but Jinyoung didn’t let you speak.

“You can’t just disappear from someone and then call them in the middle of the day for a coffee. That’s not how people do things, in case you didn’t know.”

“Why are you nagging?” you furrowed your eyebrows.

“I’m nagging? Okay.” he sat back, staring in a different direction from you.

“Jinyoung… I called because I wanted to see you. I… After you left I searched for apartments for the whole night and found something I liked. I just tried to get my life back together. I can’t get all of my stuff back… you know, from Johnny, so I had to buy things and I actually got a gym membership so now I can finally do something except for crying in my bed. I’m just trying to be better to not disappoint you. I never want to disappoint you, Jinyoung. And I know, that you are disappointed with me no matter what… I know you’re mad even though you’re not showing it. I know I disappointed you when I kissed you and said those three little words, I’m so sorry. I should’ve asked before. I mean, it’s as quite obvious.” you chuckled and he looked at you again.

“No, I should’ve let you know but I was too afraid you’ll be even more disappointed than you already were. I thought I’ll tell you some time later.”

“It’s fine though. I’m much better now and it’s all thanks to you.” you smiled widely and expanded your hand towards Jinyoung. “I promise to not break our friendship like that. I’ll be your friend if that’s all I’m allowed to be.” Jinyoung’s eyes ran from your hand to your face and you wondered what he thought about. Did he not want it? Your worries faded away when the warm skin of his fingers touched yours. You shivered but shoved the feeling down your throat, gifting a reassuring smile to him.

“I thought Johnny found you and took to his. We almost fought because I didn’t believe him. I probably looked like an idiot to him.”

“I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have.”

“You should’ve just told me where you are. It would’ve made my life much easier.”

“I’m sorry, I promise I won’t disappear anymore.”

“Want to see my place? I’ve lived here for a month actually and you never went in…” you faced Jinyoung in his car. The late evening forced him to turn on the light inside of it to see you better.

“I’m…I think I can’t.”

“Why? It’s not that late, I can make coffee and then you’ll go back home, grandpa.” you almost touched his forearm but resisted the very last second. Touching him still was the most difficult.

“I… I have a date.” he said almost whispering.

“Oh… oh my god, I’m sorry. I should’ve guessed. You’re right, you have a girlfriend, going to your exes apartment is probably not a good thing, I… I’ll go then. Have a great night. See you.”

“Y/n,” he stopped you from running away by grabbing your wrist. “thanks for the evening. I promise next time I’ll come up and see your place, okay?”

“Yeah.” you nodded and he let go of you, allowing for you to leave the car. Gliding your fingers through the dress you wore, you took two steps towards the house, looking at the lights that were paving the way to the entrance. Three steps later you noticed a man’s figure in front of the door. Three seconds was all it took in you to recognise the someone that body belonged to. Your brain went in overdrive and you froze. Would he hear if you ran away, he stared at the door and you were just praying he didn’t turn around right this moment. Your blood began boiling but you knew more than anything you were scared and due to that stuck in the middle of the road. You turned around as soon as your body gave in and did what your brain told to. Jinyoung didn’t drive away, he stared at you and you took two deep breaths that you thought somehow would help you run towards the car unnoticed. When your fingers touched the handle of the car you felt like you were alive again.

“What’s wrong? You forgot something?” Jinyoung asked confused.

“No, I didn’t. Can you please drive?”

“What? What’s wrong?” he looked behind you.

“It’s Johnny.”

“Where?”

“In front of the door. It’s Johnny. Please, drive away.” you breathed heavily. “Jinyoung, please.” you cried and he unfroze, finally starting the engine.

“It’s okay. You’re with me, he didn’t see you.” he said calmly, taking a glance at you.

“How, how did he find out where I live? I…I can’t believe he was there.”

“Are you sure it was him?”

“Yes, yes, I’m sure. I’ll never not recognise him.”

“It’s okay, you can stay at mine tonight. We’ll come up with something.”

“No, no. Just take me to a hotel. I’ll stay there.”

“You’ll stay at my place, that’s decided.” Jinyoung’s hand blindly found yours, holding it tightly while his eyes were focused on the road. “Oh God, you’re shaking.”

“I’m just shocked…I’m so thankful you didn’t drive away yet.” you wiped the panic tear off your face.

“I never drive away until I’m sure you’re home.”

“How do you know when I’m home?”

“Your window, you showed me which one it is. When the lights are on I can drive away.” he stopped at the traffic light, looking back at you. You felt overwhelmed and wanted to cry again. Johnny that scared you just a minute ago was long forgotten when your heart was about to begin it’s crying again. How could he act like he cared, like he loved you and then said you were friends. You wanted to cry hysterically but it wouldn’t help you to make him take you back. You felt your fingers hold way too tightly to his palm, letting him go quickly.

“Take me to a hotel, please.”

“It’s a no-no.” he simply said and killed every protest you had in you.

You walked through the door that brought way too many memories back. You wondered if he thought about it too, how you would walk through that door hand in hand. How you’d kiss him right next to it when you’d come see him after being apart for 2 days.

“You can go on your date. I’ll be fine on my own here. I’ll sleep on the couch quietly and will leave in the morning before you wake up.”

“I’ll cancel it.”

“No, Jinyoung, you have to go. It’s not nice to cancel a date at this time. She’s probably waiting for you, go.”

“Please sleep in the bedroom.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want you to sleep on the couch, that’s it. You can take the shower and take whatever you want to wear from my wardrobe. I have food so you can eat too. And…”

“Jinyoung, it’s not my first time here and I’m not 5 too. I’ll be totally fine. You go see your girlfriend before she gets mad at you. Okay?” He nodded quietly.

“But call me immediately if you need me, okay?”

“Yes, Jinyoung, I will, now go.” You pushed him out of the door, locking it. It took all the strength in you to not cry at your stupidity. You wanted him to stay because sleeping alone was still scary. Sleeping alone after seeing Johnny was even scarier.

You would not do this to Jinyoung. You were a big girl that finally tried to live her life right. You were trying your best to not burden him and your only goal was to keep him happy, and as long as he liked seeing his girlfriend, you were going to shove you pain down your throat and smile at him and support him.

You woke up from the sound of Jinyoung’s alarm. It didn’t take long to question yourself. Were you dreaming of it? You still remembered the sound of his alarm and sleeping in his bed probably made you see things related to your past relationship.

You felt more awake when the alarm didn’t stop signalling and you had to open your eyes. Before that though, you realised Jinyoung was sleeping in the same bed. Moreover, you could feel every limb of his being wrapped around you.

“Just a minute.” he mumbled with his face tucked into your neck. You shivered at the sensation of his warm breathe against your neck.

“Jinyoung.” you said quietly having to repeat yourself when he didn’t react.

“Mm?” he asked and moved his hand away to finally open his eyes. “Jesus, Y/n, I’m so sorry. I was so tired I got to my bed mindlessly. I… I didn’t realise I was touching you.”

“It’s fine.” you made a smile with your lips. “I thought you’d sleep on the couch or something.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to.” he moved to the other side of the bed and closed his face with his palms.

“I slept well so you don’t have to be sorry.”

“You fell asleep quickly?”

“Kind of… I tried to keep my thoughts from him and crying. I was just trying to focus on the fact he would not look for me here. I guess he didn’t… but what if he will?” a single thought made you shiver. You sat up on the bed and looked at him. “I can’t stay here too.”

“You can go with me to school.”

“What will I do there?” you chuckled.

“You can sit in the furthest corner of the room, just do your work on the laptop, then we could go back together here and think of the options.”

“You don’t mind?”

“Just another careless student who won’t listen, why would I mind?” he chuckled lowly making blood go to your lower area.

You sat right where he told you to - the deepest corner of the room. You looked around, checking by accident what were those students doing in their laptops, actually being surprised by the number of them writing down everything Jinyoung was saying. You’d show him hearts with your fingers when you’d catch his eyes on you, forcing a low giggle, that he tried to contain and therefore sounded like he was choking, escape his throat.

It felt like time flue with students filling up the auditorium and leaving it in almost a blink of an eye. You’d get breaks every time Jinyoung had a spare minute between lectures, sitting next to you on the long bench and asking you things about your work. You tried to ignore him because every time you took a look at him up close your guard was falling down and he punched the air out of your lungs without even noticing.

This was meant to be his last class of the day, Jinyoung promised to go home after this. The sound of students standing up signalled for you to finish what you were doing. Your fingers moved quickly and your brain was working even faster, raising your eyes your fingers froze above the keyboard. Young woman stood next to the door, bowing politely at every student that was still leaving the room. Her eyes moved towards you and you stared down on laptop to not seem rude. You focused your brain to listen to what she said. You should’ve guessed she was a professor, since those kids looked like they knew her.

“She punished?” she said quietly for you to not hear, but you did anyway. Her voice was high-pitched and she seemed bubbly. The way she stared at him made you wondered if she knew Jinyoung had a girlfriend.

“No… That’s…” he paused and you perked all your limbs to hear what he’ll say better “that’s my family member.”

“Oh my god! Is that your sister?” she said way too excitedly for a colleague.

“No, no.” he cleared his throat. “That’s my older brothers step daughter.” you couldn’t pretend like you didn’t hear him anymore, raising your head up. He stared at you begging, while the girl stood with her back to you. “He asked me to take her with me today, so I had to help.”

“How old is she? Is she my age?” Jinyoung’s eyes moved back to the girl after a long while.

“No, she’s around my age.” you bit onto your cheek. Back in the day he’d tell you you’re a teenager, but now he was saying you’re just around his age.

“Is your brother that much older?”

“Yeah, he is, Sona.”

“I have one more lecture left.” she said way too cutely and you suddenly realised. “I wish we could go to the cinema, but at least you have company for today, I’m relieved.” she leaned in and wrapped her hands around his shoulders. “Won’t you kiss me?” the amount of cuteness she spew made you gag internally. You lowered your head back to the screen not willing to see whatever was about to take place.

“It’s kind of awkward in front of her.” he whispered but the echo still let you hear him. Sona turned her head around quickly , you could see it with your peripheral vision.

“She’s all in her laptop.” you could hear her whisper before the room went quiet. You squeezed your eyes shut, lowering your back to not see anything at all. Your fingers found the play button on the keyboard so you won’t hear any noises either. The song began playing in your ears, but it didn’t make any of it any better. You were ready to throw up just from the idea of him kissing an actual teenager.

You stood up loudly, by accident. You didn’t mean to pay attention but internally it was all you were hoping for. She jumped off him awkwardly, probably being too shy herself.

“Hello. I’m Lim Sona” she bowed politely like you were his grandma and wiped her mouth carefully.

“Hi.” you said back and packed your stuff quickly, this time not actually hearing what the two of them were saying. “I’ll go home. Thanks, for letting me hang out here today.” you smiled and wanted to leave.

“Wait, I’ll take you home. This was my last lecture, didn’t I tell you?”

“It’s fine, a taxi will do the same thing.” you bowed again knowing he won’t act up in front of her. In her eyes you were his brothers daughter, not an ex girlfriend who still loved him and had a bunch of problems. He wasn’t about to admit it five minutes after he lied.

“Y/n, please wait. I promised my brother you’ll get home safely.” you sighed loudly and felt blood beginning to boil in your veins. You didn’t know he had the audacity to play like that right in your face. You really wanted to bite him and you turned around, suddenly realising that you couldn’t. You could absolutely not do this to him.

“Okay.” you said quickly and sat on the table that was standing in the front row.

“Text me when you’ll be home.” she grabbed his head in her arms, kissing him quickly. “I should go back.”

“Bye.” he smiled awkwardly.

“Nice meeting you.” she bowed to you on her way back and you nodded waiting for her to leave.

“So you’re just going to sit there and be quiet?” you heard his voice after five minutes of silence.

“What you want me to say?” you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. “Good job Jinyoungie in seducing and actual teenager?” your chuckle sounded way too fake and you hated the fact you made any noise.

“See, I knew you have a lot to say.” you stood up and walked towards him. He had a pen in his hand, pausing from doing his papers to talk to you. You leaned with your butt on to the table, standing right next to Jinyoung.

“Nice table.” you sighed, running your fingers over the corners of it.

“Oh, don’t start.” he said annoyed.

“Start what?” the fact he kept this in mind, no even thought about it at this exact moment made you feel better.

“This thing with the table.”

“I just said it’s nice.”

“Yes and next you’ll start saying how nice it’s to be bent over it.” you laughed at him loudly.

“I didn’t mean to say that, but it makes me happy you still think of bending me over this table even though your girlfriend was kissing you 5 minutes ago.”

“I didn’t think of it, I just know how your brain works, that’s it.”

“Oh, come on Jinyoungie, you always get worked up if I’m getting right to the point.” he looked at you furiously and you chuckled. “Anyway, that was your girlfriend right?” you tilted your head. “She’s… really cute. Kind of young though, I thought you looked for someone more mature…”

“I wasn’t looking for anyone.”

“Oh, so she came into your life like an angel of love?”

“Shut up.” he looked at you furiously.

“But why did you think I have much to say? If I said accidentally that I love you it doesn’t mean I’ll be crying over your girlfriend. Or is that exactly what you wanted me to do?” you looked at him and moved closer. “Want me to beg you?” your fingers brushed his cheek.

“Let’s go home.” he said roughly and pushed you back.

“Why did you say I’m your freaking niece? That’s really dumb of you. Doesn’t she already know you would never?”

“Didn’t you know I would never and still believed when Johnny said I’m a cheater?” he stared at you expectantly.

“Jinyoung…”

“Anyway, I’m not in place to give away your secrets.”

“What secrets are you talking about? Just admit you were scared to tell her I’m your ex.”

“I wasn’t. I’m not in the place to tell everyone why you’re here. I didn’t want to tell her because I’ll have to explain things that I’m not in the place to.”

“Whatever, let’s go home.” you sighed feeling burdened by his words.

“Wait a minute, I need to put my things away.”

“I’ll wait outside.” you sighed and walked your way out of the building.

“I’m sorry, I shouldve not said anything back in the university. I’m acting like Johnny. I guess I really worth him.”

“Don’t say things like that.”

“No, I really am, I literally act like him, just reverse the situations from you and me and him being annoying, on you & your girlfriend and me that’s being annoying now.”

“I just should’ve told you she’s from work, you would’ve acted differently.” he shook his head and continued to slurp on his food.

“I know I shouldn’t be… but I’m still curious.”

“Mmh?”

“Can you tell me about her?”

“Why?”

“Just curious to know things about her since I’m your friend and she’s your girlfriend. When I’ll get a boyfriend I’ll tell you everything about him.”

“You will?”

“Yeah, I don’t think it’s something unusual to share these things with friends?”

“No, I mean you’ll get into a relationship?”

“Why not, I mean… with you I realised being with someone is fun, plus I’m not getting younger.” you tried to joke with him but he just nodded understandingly.

“I’m glad to hear it.”

“Yeah…” you nodded, fixing your eyes on your bowl. “I really should leave. It’s wrong for us to sleep in one bed and yeah… I obviously am not good at being friends.”

“Not true, and about the bed… it’s my fault. I came late and after shower I felt lazy to put sheets on the couch so I thought I’ll lay down for 10 minutes and then will go, but I fell asleep.”

“It’s fine, Jinyoung. Anyway, I should’ve not even agreed to stay at yours. I’ll go back home.”

“And what will you do if Johnny’s there? Or if he’ll come when you’re there?”

“Then I’ll have to act like I’m not home? Fight him, talk to him, I don’t know. I can’t make your life a mess it’s enough for me mine is.”

“Y/n, come on. Don’t make everything more complicated than it already is.”

“I just… honestly, I didn’t think you had a girlfriend for real. I thought you were still hurt by what I did, but then you left for a date, and I thought it’s kind of funny, but I didn’t think you’re actually on a date. Today, only today I realised you weren’t kidding or saying things to see my reaction. I just feel wrong for things I said earlier, feel wrong for probably not letting her come see you at your place because I’m fucking here. You had to lie to her about me and I know how much you hated, hate the thought of lying, and you had to do it to your loved one because of me. It seems like everywhere I go I just bring shit with me.”

“Y/n.” you raised your eyes and found Jinyoung smiling at you fatherly. He stood up and walked towards you to your surprise and you had to bend your neck terribly to see him, when he stop right behind you. His palms landed on your shoulders and you turned your head to look directly in front of you. “We need to change your mindset. You’re not bringing shit, you just have a difficult period in life and that’s normal to not act right. I understand it, I don’t judge you. You know that I still care for you very much, you still take a very big part of my heart and I can’t just let you leave when you’re in this mood.” his fingers lightly massaged your shoulders. Your eyes shut involuntary and you felt goosebumps run down your back. You didn’t know what effect he tried to have on you but all you could think of was how much you loved him. You just wanted his fingers to run down your arms to hold your fingers. You wanted him to kiss the top of your head, lean in and hug you from the back, telling you how he still loved you. Leaving in a dream for a whole year that he’ll be yours again one day made your comeback to reality way too difficult. Your brain could not accept Jinyoung being with someone else and you knew that the only problem in this was you. You hated to leave him again after not seeing Jinyoung for two weeks, but you thought that taking breaks might help you get over him. It clearly didn’t yet, but maybe it will work out eventually, you just needed to try harder. “Let’s agree on a few things?”

“What things?” you snapped back hearing his voice.

“First, were meeting up at the Saetgang for a run three times a week, pick the days yourself. Second, no more depressing thoughts. We’ll have to go see multiplications at the cinema once a week to make you feel better. Third, you can trust me. Trust me with anything you need or have problems with. I’m here to help and I’ll be very glad to help you with anything. Deal?”

“Jinyoung.” you sighed and turned to face him. “Spending 4 evenings a week with me is too much. Let’s not make your girlfriend uncomfortable.” you loved the idea but you had to act right.

“I’m running on my own any way there, you’ll just be my company. And for that one movie night… I think I can have the luxury of spending one evening with my friend.”

“I j…”

“Oh, I forgot. Fourth, if you want me to take you to a club or something, just say it. I know you can let yourself loose there and it’s definitely something very much needed now to let you go back to yourself.”

“Jinyoung, please.”

“Yeah?”

“You’re the very best and will always be.” You turned to face him and he put his hands away from you. You couldn’t hold back so you just hugged his waist tightly. “I swear to god.” his hand caressed your hair carefully. Suddenly you couldn’t hold yourself back from the thought of how close your face was to his dick. You tried to not think of it but the more you shoved those thoughts in the farthest corner of your brain the quicker they came back. Was it his cock that you pressed against with your throat? You pulled back and raised your head up to see his eyes. “Can we start our deal now?”

“Yeah, sure. What’s up?”

“Take me to a club.”

“Okay, when?”

“Today, now.” You bit onto your lower lip.

“Ah…I… Okay, yeah. Let’s do it.”

“One more thing?”

“Yeah?”

“Call your girlfriend.”

“Why?”

“I mean call her to go with us, you’ll definitely need company.” you smiled at him like a Cheshire Cat while he looked at you confused.

“Oh, you mean that. Okay, I’ll ask if she wants to come. Thanks.” he straightened his lips in a forced smile.

“Can we go to mine so I’ll change clothes?”

“Okay, I’ll get ready and we can leave.” he walked away from you, getting his attention onto your phone.

“Thanks.” you sang happily “Should I call the taxi?”

“I’ll drive.”

“Why?” You asked confused.

“I have two girls on me I can’t get drunk.” he said carelessly walking into his room. Your heart began beating faster when he peaked from behind the door. “And one of them is way too rebellious for my eyes to leave her for a second. And oh trust me, I’m not talking about Sona.” you smiled at him trying your best to not show with your smile that butterflies were trying to make a whole in your stomach and set free.

“Go put on your coolest grandpa sweater to sweep her off her feet.” he chuckled lowly and finally left.

Jinyoung walked up with you to your apartment, waiting for you on the couch while you were deciding between two dresses you bought last week while doing your make up. Your eyes finally picked the baby blue button-up dress and quickly put it on, unbuttoning a couple of the buttons. You looked in the mirror satisfied, feeling like it’s the first time you looked in the mirror and liked yourself in over a year.

“Y/n.” you heard Jinyoungs voice and turned your head to see him. “You’re very beautiful.” he looked stunned.

“Thank you.” you smiled shyly at him.

“Sona will come. Which one do you want to go to? She said she’ll get in a taxi in 20 minutes.”

“I don’t care. Just anything I have never been too.”

“Okay, I’ll try to find something.” he looked back at his phone, probably searching clubs on Naver.

“Jinyoung?”

“Yeah?” his head turned back to see you.

“Unbutton one more or not?” you let him see how it was before undoing one more button. It’s probably looked too much even to your taste, but the question was asked already so you wanted to know what he thought.

“Button up two more.” he said strictly forcing a cackle out of you.

“You’re very strict mr. Park. I really do not envy your girlfriend.” you took your bag in your hands, walking towards him.

“Don’t you know men will stare.”

“Maybe that’s what I am aiming for, huh?” you chuckled and grabbed him by the wrist to walk him out of your house.

“How old is Sona?”

“Why?” his eyes ran quickly from road to you and back.

“Just curious.”

“25.”

“Okay.” you nodded and turned to look out of the window.

“Why?”

“Why are you so stressed?” you chuckled and turned back to him. “I’m just asking out of curiosity. She always worked at the university?”

“No, she came this year.”

“Did she caught your eye first or…?”

“No. She came up to me. I didn’t plan to date anyone. She just kept on coming up out of nowhere and I realised suddenly when she’s there I stop thinking of you, and when I stop thinking of you I actually begin to function. That’s why I thought it’s a nice idea to be with her.”

“You like her, right?”

“Of course I do, why you’re asking?”

“I’m just glad you’re happy. You never deserved suffering or any of it.”

“No one deserves it.” he said strictly and you turned your head to look at him. His hands were gripping onto the steering wheel vigorously.

“No, I’m suffering because I made you suffer it’s the instant karma or whatever. I’ll try my best to get myself a Sona that will help me to get over you. I hope I’ll find that person and will be able to provide a healthy friendship you’d be satisfied with.” Jinyoung turned his head to look at you and you stopped moving.

“I believe in you.” his hand touched your cheek, caressing the top of your head quickly.

“How did it feel when you understood you don’t love me anymore? Refreshing?”

“No.”

“You just felt at ease?”

“No.” his hand let go of you and he turned his attention back to driving.

“Free?”you asked.

“No. I felt like I died because I solemnly believed I’d never let go of you.” he said lowly and you gulped in silence. “I doubt myself once in a while if a gave up too easily and the day I saw you I suddenly felt like I should drop everything and get back with you no matter what, but then I got back to my senses.” he peeked at you quickly. “We probably won’t work out. Not anymore.” you nodded quickly and turned away. Your eyes glistened and you looked up to not ruin the eyeliner you did so thoroughly.

“Anything I should know of your plans?” Jinyoung asked you when he parked his car next to a club you’ve never seen before.

“Just don’t get in the way.”

“That’s mean.” he pouted and you looked away immediately.

“You can leave when you’ll feel like it. I’ll be fine.” you added quickly unbelting the belt and turning to step out.

“No, we came together, we’re leaving together. I’ll drive both you and Sona home.”

“I don’t know in what home I’ll end up tonight so don’t worry.” you rolled your eyes and left the car. “Where’s Sona?” you asked when Jinyoung stood in front of you.

“She just texted me she’s inside.”

“Okay, good, let’s go.” you moved towards the entrance and finally got into the loud aura of the club. The club was filled with teenagers and you wondered where did Jinyoung found it. You looked around more actually peaking on a couple of guys around your age.

“Sona’s there.” you heard Jinyoung’s voice close to your ear. His fingers wrapped around your elbow and you could feel his torso with your back. You wanted to melt away in the moment right before the memories of him saying you’ll never work out popped up in your head.

“Don’t.” you pushed him off you.

“Jinyoungie, I want to dance.” you heard Sona’s drunken voice and turned to look at Jinyoung.

“Okay, go. I’ll look out for you from here.” she stood up and hung on his neck instead of leaving.

“Just go with her.” you blabbered annoyed. If you knew she’d act this way after one drink you’d never ask him to bring her. Jinyoung stared at you for a second, standing up and leaving your sight. You took one more sip of the rum in your hand.

“Are the three of you dating?” you raised your head immediately and turned at the voice. Guessing it was one of the teenagers you were stunned by the man’s handsomeness and maturity when you saw him.

“Want to be the fourth?” you smirked and turned away.

“Not interested.” you could hear by his voice he smirked too.

“I would’ve arranged it for you.” you turned back around to him.

“Your dress is pretty. The whole outfit is screaming too much though.”

“A very weird compliment.”

“I wasn’t trying to compliment.”

“Oh, okay.” you nodded your head and took a sip.

“You’re not going to ask screaming of what?”

“Nah, you’ll probably say something weird.” he chuckled and you looked at his face more accurately. He probably was over 30 but still looked very young and fancy through his clothes.

“What you’re thinking?” he asked you when you stared at him dumbly for too long. You should’ve said something before but completely zoned out with all the alcohol you consumed previously.

“I want to kiss you.” you blabbered just whatever and looked him in the eyes expecting for him to be taken aback. He bit lightly onto his tongue.

“I can’t say no to a lady.” he smirked and licked his lips. You leaned in to him and to find balance you pressed your palms against his thighs. You leaned in more and parted your lips slightly to kiss him when his hand caught your face midway. You just felt like he’d chicken out, there was something about his face. “Just like that? How often do you kiss strangers at clubs?” you squinted your eyes at him and sat back.

“You were bout to be the first one in two years.”

“I should’ve guessed.” he nodded seriously.

“How would you have guessed this?”

“Your aura screams you seek revenge. You probably fought with your boyfriend and will regret later anything you’ll do tonight.”

“Oh boy, you’re so wrong.” you giggled lightly. “What’s your name?”

“Junwon.”

“I’m Y/n.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” he smiled friendly at you.

“You’re drinking?” he nodded in reply.

“Let’s get you a drink then, Junwon.”

Your lips weren’t giving him a break even for a second. Junwon had to pull you off him every now and then just to take a breathe in. You wanted him to touch you more and kiss you harder but he just kept his hands on your waist, kissing you back politely. Your hand held onto his cheek gently, sucking onto his lower lip. He hugged you tighter finally and your hand hooked over his neck.

“Want to go to my place?” you pulled back just to be able to talk and the both of you looked at each other. He looked behind you and moved his eyes back to you, shaking his head a no slightly. “Yours then?” you smirked and he smiled at you weirdly.

“Just give me your phone number.”

“Huh?”

“Let’s see each other again maybe in the daytime?” his fingers flexed on your waist and bit onto your lip. “You seem fun, I don’t want to just sleep and never talk again.”

“We can sleep and talk after for how long you want to.” you pulled in again, trying to kiss him.

“I think your friend wants to talk to you.” he moved his neck back not letting you to do what you wanted.

“Who?” you furrowed your eyebrows and turned around. Junwon let go of you immediately and the thought that it was actually nice to have someone touching you gently rushed through your mind once again. Jinyoung stood in front of you with Sona hanging on his shoulder. In the past two hours you forgot completely that you came here with them, you were so consumed with Junwon it confused you for a couple of seconds what friend he was talking about. “Yeah?” you raised your brows a little when asking. Suddenly the thought that you’d give everything to hang against Jinyoung’s shoulder instead of Sona rushed through your brain.

“Let’s go home? It’s three and Sona drank too much. I have to go to work tomorrow, you too.” his lips next to your ear formed all those shivers that ran down your spine. The sound of his low voice made you even more drunk than you were before.

“I’ll go with him.” you pointed behind you.

“Are you sure?” you were hoping he asked because somewhere deep down of him he felt a sting of jealousy. You tried to think through when you felt Junwon touch your wrist.

“Sorry I overheard you, but you should really go home. I’ll text you tomorrow, I actually have to wake up early too so I’ll leave now.”

“Are you somehow a way too responsible type of person?”

“No, I don’t think so, why?”

“Just because you’re pretty I’ll forgive you for not giving me what I want, Junwon.” you patted his shoulder lightly.

“And I’m very grateful. Get home safe.” he smiled and probably expected for you to leave but you leaned in and kissed him slowly.

“Bye.” you smiled and walked next to Jinyoung.

“You okay?“ he asked, doing his seatbelt. Sona was knocked off on the back seat and you tried your best to look as sober as ever.

“Yeah, why?”

“You drank a lot with that guy.”

“Were you stalking?” you turned your body towards him. You were thinking this was the moment you two make out with his girlfriend sleeping in the back.

“I was keeping an eye on you to make sure you were okay.”

“You’re sweet, Jinyoungie.” you raised your hand and rubbed his cheek with the back of your hand. His cheeks were as soft as ever and you felt that burning inside of you to kiss it.

“Will you take Sona home first or will you take her to yours?”

“I don’t know.“

“Why?”

“I don’t know where she lives or the code.”

“Fuck.” you mumbled with your lips only, you just wanted to make him stay with you and it all was ruined. “I can wake her up and ask her?”

“It’s fine, I’ll just take all of us to mine.”

“Ugh, actually take me home please.”

“It’s fine, there’s enough space for all of us.”

“Isn’t it strange…? She’ll ask why I stay at yours, just let me go home. You can walk me up and even tuck me in bed… this is up to your will though.”

“Fool.” he shook his head disapprovingly.

“Your favourite fool, right?” you grabbed his arm and he definitely was startled. You pulled it closer to your body and hugged it. Jinyoungs fingers caressed the upper part of your thigh.

“You definitely had too much.” he chuckled lowly. “Are you sure? About the home?”

“Yeah.” you nodded and watched him drive to a different lane to make a turn. You still held onto his arm tightly, feeling how his palm rested against your leg now. You could almost feel yourself falling asleep when Jinyoung’s light taps brought you back to life.

“We’re here.”

“Thank you. For everything.” you smiled at him and was wishing you never needed to let go of

him.

“Don’t say your goodbyes, I’ll walk you up.”

“Is Sona going to be fine…?” you looked back at the girl that was stretched now on the back seat, fast asleep.

“I’m sure she will be.” he looked at her too.

54 notes · View notes

kyufessions · 2 years

Text

Losers

context: best friend! hyunsuk has had a developing crush on best friend! g.n. reader for quite some time, but terrified of confessing to them (featuring close friends! cix)

word count: 2.0k

warnings: fluff, just both clueless, making out at one point, some arguing but not too descriptive so i guess a tad bit of angst ?

a/n: clueless love struck hyunsuk </3 so cute ! i am in no way saying this is how any of them would act in the situation with reader x jinyoung (especially jinyoung), this is all fiction and in no way real.

—————-

everyone at the dorms absolutely adored you- they thought of you as their secret sixth member who laid low and kept them company most days. they’d even refer to you as a sibling of theirs (mainly byounggon and yonghee). but out of everyone, you were closest to hyunsuk. both of you were inseparable to be honest- always cuddling during movie nights and on facetime when not together. the other four would always tease about you two getting together eventually, but it’s been a good two years and nothing even remotely close has happened between you two to that extent.

something of that extent would have happened if hyunsuk wasn’t so terrified of making a move. everytime you even look at him it causes his heart to race; don’t even get him started when you fall asleep with your head on his shoulder because he could go on for hours. he liked everything about you, both inside and out. and everyone knew it too, except you of course. when it came to you, you were oblivious.

you liked hyunsuk at first, but as months turned into two years right before your eyes you decided to let your feelings subside. you figured he didn’t feel the same so you decided to attempt to move on. you would go on occasional dates, nothing too serious, but none of them started working out once you realized you had feelings for someone else besides hyunsuk as well. they only started around two months ago, but they were growing at a rapid pace. you had no clue how it happened, but here you were in the dorms. alone. with said person.

hyunsuk had been out running errands, making sure to be back in time before you had gotten there. he even picked up some of your favorites from the convenience store down the street, loving the excitement in your face when you were surprised by little things such as buying your favorite things out of the blue. but his excitement exited his body as he entered the living room of the dorm to find you sitting in the lap of his other member, lips moving together hungrily as your hands tangled themselves in his hair and his hands held your waist.

he felt his heart shatter. all the members knew of his feelings for you, especially jinyoung. but here he was, shoving his tongue down the throat of the person he felt himself gradually falling in love with. he made his way out of the room quietly, neither of you hearing him enter. he dragged his feet towards his shared room with yonghee, opening the door to see his roommate sitting up on his iPad. when he noticed you enter in a sulking manner, his attention shifted from his current math problem he was attempting to solve to the sad maknae.

“hey, what’s wrong?” yonghee asked, setting his iPad down on the nightstand beside him. he shifted his body to have his legs hanging off the side of the bed, resting his elbows on his thighs as he leaned forward to listen better.

hyunsuk put the bag of your goodies on his bed, sitting beside it and playing with the plastic bag. “i didn’t know y/n and jinyoung were a thing.”

yonghee’s eyes widened, tilting his head to the side. “what do you mean they’re a ‘thing’?”

hyunsuk pointed towards the door before ripping open the bag and taking out a drink he bought for you, debating if he should drink it or not touch it and just give it to you later. “they’re out there making out on the couch.”

and with that, the older member stormed out of the room and down the hall to talk to jinyoung. hyunsuk didn’t bother to listen in when the voices got bigger, even when his name was mentioned. he just stared down in the bag of the goodies, eventually picking it up and stuffing it into an empty nightstand drawer. for now, he just wanted to lay in his bed and forget everything. he would put it all away later.

when yonghee interrupted your heated make out session with jinyoung, you were confused as to why he was pissed off. that was until he said something you never thought you’d hear.

“you know hyunsuk likes them, why would you do that to him?” was all yonghee said to have your mind scrambling.

you had no clue how hyunsuk felt whatsoever. again, as previously stated, you were oblivious to that fact. you sat there, listening for a few more moments before deciding to get up and storm off to hyunsuk and yonghee’s room. when yonghee said your best friend walked in on you both, you knew he would be in his room. after all, where else would he be?

you didn’t even knock, just entered and watched as he sat up from his bed with his sad eyes meeting yours. you just sighed, walking over to his bed and sitting at the far end corner. he just watched you in silence, not sure of what to say. he didn’t really have a reason to be mad at you, really. he was more upset at his group mate and himself if anything.

“why didn’t you tell me how you felt, hyunsuk?” you questioned, not breaking eye contact with him for a second. you weren’t sure how to feel at this point- you had a million thoughts in your head.

“i was scared you wouldn’t feel the same.”

“for two years?” he nodded, causing a sigh to escape your lips once more. “i liked you too, you should’ve said something sooner.”

“past tense?”

you nodded, looking down at your hands and fiddling with your fingers. “i figured if you liked me you would’ve said something. so i tried to move on. then i got closer with jinyoung and- yeah.”

he shrugged, still looking at you. “i get it. i mean, it’s jinyoung.”

you chuckled, shaking your head. “no, hyunsuk. don’t. you don’t get it. don’t think lowly of yourself because of this- because of me.”

you stood up, not wanting to look at him as you started walking towards the door to exit his room. ”i, i still really like you but after this i don’t know how to feel. i wish i would’ve known sooner. i’m sorry.”

and with that, you walked out of his room and the dorm as yonghee and jinyoung both argued back and forth in the living room with byounggon trying to calm everything down. no one paid attention to you as you left, too immersed in everything that was happening.

days, weeks, and months passed by without a word from you. you hadn’t reached out to anyone, too embarrassed of the situation. you made out with jinyoung while his best friend had a massive crush on you, and you were too blind to even notice it.

for a few days, everything was bitter between the two. after a week, everyone else forced them to sit down and talk it out like adults. and they did. apologies were spilled and hugs were exchanged. they both agreed to not allow anyone to come between them, especially over romantic interests. after that, everyone messaged in the group chat you were in with them hoping you’d respond. but as weeks went on and you hadn’t responded, they became more concerned than anything. they all missed you, especially hyunsuk. but there wasn’t much for them to do if you weren’t responding since they didn’t want to push it. all they could do was text you occasionally and hope for some type of response.

months passed, and nothing. that was until one brisk october night when hyunsuk went for a nightly walk by himself. you had been on his mind all day, even more than normal. so he figured he take a small stroll through the park you both met at- coincidentally three years ago today. it was almost eleven at night, the sounds of crickets filling the night air.

the pale moonlight kept you company as you swung weakly back and forth on the swing, your head leaning against the chains. you were missing hyunsuk and the rest of the boys a lot more than normal, but you were too scared to text them. what if they hated you? or wanted nothing to do with you? you knew that wasn’t the case, but your thoughts held you back.

when hyunsuk saw you from a distance, he felt his legs dragging him towards you. he had no idea what he was going to say, if he was going to say anything at all. but he just had to see you up close in a better atmosphere than the previous one. even if it was potentially going to be for the last time.

you looked up as you heard someone approaching, the last person you expected to see be yoon hyunsuk. your breath caught in your throat, unsure of what to say to him. you both stared at each other as he sat in the empty swing next to you. for a while, you both just swung back and forth in silence. up until he spoke up.

“i missed you.” hyunsuk confessed, kicking his feet back and forth in the dirt.

you nodded, scared to talk. so for a few moments you just sat there not saying anything, until the guilt took over you and you decided to speak up. “i missed you too. i just feel, embarrassed about everything. almost like it’s my fault.”

hyunsuk took this opportunity to look at you and reach over to place his hand on top of yours in your lap, careful to not push any boundaries he made sure to hover his hand above yours. when you reached up to grab his hand, that’s when he knew it was okay to do so. he started rubbing circles into the back of your hand before speaking again. “nothing is your fault at all. you didn’t know of my feelings for you, i should’ve said something before. i just thought you didn’t feel the same and i was terrified of losing what we had if you didn’t.”

you let out a dry laugh, looking up to meet his eyes. they held hope yet sadness at the same time, and all you wanted to do was hold him in your arms. “suk, i’ve had feelings for you for the last two or so years. i just didn’t think you felt the same way either so i tried going on dates to forget you and even convinced myself of having a crush on jinyoung to forget my feelings for you. but it didn’t work and, as fuck up as this sounds, i was imagining you the whole time.”

hyunsuk couldn’t hold back his laughter, causing you to let out a hearty laugh as well. as he threw his head back, you just stared at him with admiration. you’ve missed this, all of this. his laughter, his smile, everything under the sun. this time, you were going to make sure not to let him go.

“no one is mad at you; in fact we all miss you. me more though, of course.” he stood up, interlacing his fingers with yours and tugging on your arm ever so gently. “come on, let’s go on our first date.”

you stood up as well, following behind him in confusion. “what if i don’t want to?” you joked, a playful smile tugging at your lips.

he looked back at you and rolled his eyes, letting out a soft chuckle afterwards. “we’re both losers who are hopelessly falling for each other, i don’t think you’d say no.” he pulled you up to his side, bringing your hand to his lips and planting a soft kiss on the back of it. “unless you don’t want to, of course. i won’t force you.”

you shook your head, a smile never leaving your face as your cheeks heated up. “this loser would love to go on this long awaited date with you.”

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