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inkskinned · 2 years

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i have so much to say about this but like. fuck social media for making certain types of "pranks" popular. just as a blanket statement? if the intent of a prank is to humiliate someone without their consent, there is a good chance what you're doing is actually just bullying.

and if you record that person, you are being twice the asshole in that situation. recording someone takes away their agency. do you really think someone you just humiliated on camera is going to have both the bravery and presence of mind to calmly ask you to please delete the video if it makes them uncomfortable? and do you think the people who pull these kinds of pranks would be like - oh sorry, sure, let me delete it, no problem.

"pulling a prank" is like. supposed to be funny for both sides. when you put people in unsafe situations and then laugh at them/judge them for their response.... like. that's not funny. that's abusive behavior. you are training them to accept their dehumanization. it's controlling and ugly. please fucking have any form of empathy.

if you don't actually care if they feel safe/comfortable, you're not being funny. you're being mean. labelling something "a joke" in hindsight does not undo the damage. it just gaslights the other person into thinking their reaction was invalid. you broke someone's trust and personal boundaries for clout. they deserve to be upset about it.

and as a side note? i will bet you 200 american dollars that most of these "pranksters" would immediately crumble into a huge overreaction if anyone even vaguely reciprocated and put them into that level of humiliation - because it was never about how "funny" pranks are. it was about control and manipulation. they like feeling powerful and they like making other people feel less powerful. which is ... bullying.

#okay bye #i also feel none of these people know how to apologize #when someone's like #its . not funny she got hurt dude #theyre always like IT WAS AN ACCIDENT LIKE WHY ARE YOU BLAMING ME #MAYBE IT'S NOT FUNNY BECAUSE YOU'RE STUPID #like yuh or i respect her personhood????? ig??#how about u just start doing things that are funny and then i will laugh?#my friend sent me gaara themed items every day for advent #it was fucking hilarious and confusing #bc i would just. find gaara in places #THAT is a good prank.#my family once had the Ice Barbie #which is a head from a barbie that had been frozen in ice #and we would Put Her In Places #the house i lived in w/8 roommates had The Spider and The Rat #both of which would be hidden in Areas #like soup pans and microwaves #totally not discussed #just a funny and fun stupid joke #it's literally that easy #instead tiktok is like #LITERALLY trying to get boys to call girls ''bitches'' just to see ''what happens''#like you got it!!!!!! that's a prank bc it .... ?????? hurts her feelings #''i prank my girlfriend by being mean to her!!!!'' .... so you bullied your girlfriend for clout and then #made it so she couldn't respond honestly #by saying it was a joke #...... you are somehow both admitting you suck while ALSO gaslighting her about it!!!! amazing.....

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n0ct0urn1quet · 1 year

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wish i had more food in tha house so that i could make an Actual meal instead of just . a cheap frozen meal thats only filling for like an hour

#we have nothinggggggggg #i ate 3ish horus ago n just made som soup but im just Starving now to the point where im starting to shake again #i hgad. hot pockests earlier. at like 3 #n then i had soup. coupl hours ago #nd im hungry again n im just . miserable bc we have nothing filling to eat #ill eat a small frozen meal n be hungry an hour later #im. miserable #im so hungry </3 #we dont have clean pans or anything either #mom doesnt cook anymore #saying 'i cooked for my kids for 30 years im not doing it anymore!!!'#yeah i can cook for myself. but i cant unless we have stuff to fuckign cook #she never buys groceries outside of frozen shit and microwave shit #never gets healthy foods or ingridients to cook something. if i tell her i wanna cook something she says no #if i tell her i wanna get healthier foods she says no bc i dont eat it (lie. ofc ill eat healthy stuff if you actually buy it)#im just bleghghh

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recapitulation · 2 years

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meal ideas!

low energy ("do not ask me to do any prep work at all, so help me god")

mozzerella cheese wrapped in pepperoni ("pizza tacos"!)

hummus and pretzels or naan (putting the naan in the microwave for like 10 seconds...heavenly)

canned chili (with shredded cheese and sour cream if you have it! boom done!)

instant miso soup (warm and lovely! put tofu in it for protein!)

cheese and cured meat, olives, canned fish, crackers, dried fruit, or whatever easy "charcuterie" type items you like

alternate bites of apple and spoonfulls of peanut butter (mixing honey or chocolate chips to the peanut butter is my favorite)

a "deconstructed sandwich": bites of lunch meat, pickles, cheese, cherry tomato, etc (I love roast beef and white cheddar for this)

yogurt and granola or fruit

put frozen potstickers + frozen edamame in the steamer/rice cooker, chill elsewhere with a timer set, then boom

tortilla chips + canned refried beans + cherry tomatoes + cilantro + jarred salsa con queso (or warm shredded cheese on top of the chips in the microwave for 30 seconds)

bagel + cream cheese + lox

microwave scrambled eggs (add things like green onion, soy sauce, or anything else you like!)

cottage cheese and fruit (mixed together or just on the side)

bowl of shredded rotisserie chicken + buffalo sauce + a bit of mayo + green onion (use a kitchen scissors to cut them right in!)

medium energy ("I'll boil water but don't ask me to chop shit")

boiled eggs and fresh veggies (put a little salt on top of the eggs!)

buttered noodles (my go-to nausea meal, it has never failed me. ideas of things to add: frozen peas, imitation crab, roasted garlic)

baked potato with toppings (I like cheese, bacon, broccoli, green onion, and sour cream)

quesadilla (add some canned beans, cilantro, or avocado!)

pot roast (requires a lot of time but not a lot of actual work. I love it with peas!)

cuban sandwich (bread, swiss, pickle, mustard, ham... my favorite thing to panini-ify by far)

pan-fried tofu with scallion sauce (this sauce goes well with everything and tofu is no exception)

pancakes or waffles! (I love mine with jam)

ham, pickle, and cream cheese roll-ups

fried eggs (with toast and lots of butter...so comforting)

fruit smoothie (bananas, frozen strawberries, yogurt...or whatever!)

I hate salad but could write essays on this copycat olive garden salad (throw it in a bowl! chopping required if you use onion)

spaghetti (controversial maybe but angel hair > spaghetti noodles)

pasta salad (olives broccoli fresh mozerella... those little mini pepperonis... yeah)

stir-fried thai garlic shrimp (I like using the mini frozen salad shrimps, it's easy! use jarred minced garlic to avoid chopping!)

tuna mayo onigiri

slow cooker ribs

buffalo chicken wrap (or any number of other wrap options! shred pre-cooked rotisserie chicken to make it easier)

if your local grocery store sells pre-cooked gyro strips, that can turn into an easy wrap with store-bought pita & tzatziki with tomatoes and onions!

couscous and chickpeas

tortellini + pasta sauce + spinach

high energy ("I don't mind chopping some things up!")

stuffed shells with spinach

chicken and roasted garlic (oh my god.....one of my all time favorites)

beef tacos (I like mine with cilantro and onion, and when I'm feeling especially high energy I love a tomatillo salsa)

chicken alfredo

tom kha gai (a thai soup and my absolute favorite! you just need access to galangal)

lasagna! (freezes well and then boom! low energy meal for later)

pad thai! (not as hard as you'd think, as long as you have access to tamarind paste!)

potstickers! (this is a lovely group activity if you want to cook with housemates!)

rice and beans

bang bang shrimp (ogughfhgfuh I love it. you can also do bang bang tofu!)

minestrone soup (so many nice veggies!)

fried rice (put whatever you have on hand in there! broccoli, peas, carrot, and beef is my favorite combo)

broccoli cheddar soup

spring rolls and peanut sauce

skewers (such as beef, onion, zucchini, bell pepper... you don't need a grill, oven works!)

roasted turkey with garlic parmesean asparagus

pork chop with mashed potatoes

panang curry

chicken gnocchi soup (use store bought gnocchi or make your own if you have a high energy day!)

bibimbap (super customizable depending on what veggies you like best)

butter chicken

plus! things that have helped me meal plan:

whenever you think of a meal you'd like to make, take 3 seconds to google search it, take a screenshot of the image results, and put it in a "food ideas" folder. instant visual menu!

the concept of "meal prepping" makes me recoil but I've learned that it can simply mean preparing shredded chicken, boiled eggs, or some other simple protein that you can customize throughout the week. shredded chicken can turn into wraps, salads, pasta dishes, etc... you don't have to meal prep yourself into the same meal all week!

when I have difficulty working up an appetite, I'll scroll through my favorite restaurant menus! there might be some foods I can't make at home, but many times they're very simple to recreate because the ingredients are literally listed!

#brought to you by: i see people complaining about coming up with meals for the week #and im like..this is my favorite thing to do........let me be your meal brainstormer #additionally brought to you by: eating something is better than nothing so some of these may not be complete textbook 'meals'#but sometimes you feel like shit and just need something! so!#also this energy scale is tailored to me personally so if some categorizations dont make sense to you thats bc its about me <3 #food #i might update this with dessert ideas too later. or just add to it in general

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thebearer · 4 months

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the milestone menu: roasted red pepper and tomato soup for sad days

prompt: the death of mikey's anniversary is near. you make a comfort meal for carmen.

contains: mentions of death. angty with a side of fluff (at the end). anxious!carmen (i mean ofc).

INGREDIENTS

3 red bell peppers. 4 large tomatoes, peeled, seeded, chopped. An onion, chopped. 2 garlic cloves, minced

1 1/2 tsp thyme. 2 tsp paprika. A pinch of sugar. Salt & pepper. Cayenne

1/2 cup Chicken broth. 2 tbsp butter. 1 1/2 tbsp flour.

DIRECTIONS

Cover peppers in oil, broil until black, turn to get all sides. Put them in a paper bag to rest, the skin & seeds should come off easily. Chop. Heat oil on med heat in a large pot, cook garlic & onions until soft. Add tomatoes, peppers, thyme, paprika, and sugar. Cook on med-low, until most of the liquid has evaporated, about 20 minutes. Stir in 6 cups of chicken stock, salt & pepper. Bring to boil & simmer for 20 mins, until the vegetables are tender. Strain soup. Use a food processor or blender, and blend solids to your desired consistency. In your large pot, melt butter & add flour. Add soup/purée and stir, simmer for a few minutes.

“Hey, baby,” Carmen’s voice came to you before he did. A heavy sigh, tired and heavy from the day, from the looming anniversary approaching.

Mikey’s death date was creeping closer and closer, the days darker and colder as did Carmen’s demeanor. Longer days at work, distant even when he was home with you. You worried about him, though everyone told you not to.

“He just… he gets like this when it gets closer to the date, you know?” Richie muttered when you’d confided in him at family dinner. “We all get kinda fucked up, but Carm… That’s just how he is, y’know? Just give’im some time.”

Anchovy purred, rubbing against Carmen’s leg. It was almost like he knew. Carmen would swear he did, that he could sense his owner’s upset, that he was trying to make it better. He’s like you, Carmen would say, giving you a half grin that always had you swooning.

Carmen frowned when he didn’t see you lingering about. Not in the doorway smiling at them, leaning in for a kiss, wrapping him in a hug. “Babe?” Carmen called again, looking down the hall. The lights were on in the kitchen, a small clinking of bowls and silverware.

Carmen found you in front of the stove, trying to keep quiet, stirring a pan on the burner gently. “Hey,” He frowned when you jumped, turning around with a wide eyed gaze, like you’d been caught.

“Carm,” You chirped, body shimmying in front of the stove, too close to the flame in a too loose shirt. Carmen fought the urge to tell you to move or tuck your shirt in.

“You’re-You weren’t supposed to be home early.” You turned to the clock blinking on the microwave. “I-I thought you weren’t going to be home for another hour.”

“Richie told me to leave.” Carmen frowned, trying to peer around you.

“Why?” You blocked his view with your body, a side step in front of him.

“‘Cause he’s a fuckin’ jaggoff lately. What’re you doin’?” Carmen huffed lightly, grabbing your waist gently, holding you in place so he could see around you. A large pot on the stove, bubbling to life, steam clouding the clear lid that covered it.

“I’m cooking.” You huffed, shoulders deflating lightly. “I-I was going to surprise you. I had this whole thing planned, and I got candles and I was going to change out of this.” You threw your hands down on your sweatshirt- Carmen’s sweatshirt. One from Copenhagen he’d picked up when it was especially cold. You’d stolen in, not that he minded, he liked you better in it anyways.

“Was going to at least try to look a little nice.” You mutter, wiping off a small stain, a glob of tomato that had flung when the processor lid wouldn’t come off earlier.

“You look beautiful, c’mon.” Carmen shook his head at you. “What’re you- Why’re you doin’ all this?” His heart skipped for a moment, looking at the calendar pinned on the fridge. “Did I- We didn’t have plans?” Fuck, he’d been so busy he’d forgotten. Head everywhere but where it needed to be. First he was fuckin’ up dishes left and right at work, and now he couldn’t even remember a fuckin’ date.

“No,” You shook your head, stilling Carmen’s racing mind. “I just… I wanted to do something nice.” You looked up at him, hands grabbing him sweetly, holding them in your own. “For you.”

“For me?” Carmen whispered, swallowing around the tightness in his throat, in his chest. “What’re you talkin’ about for me? What-Why would you wanna-”

“Because,” You shrugged lightly, hands swinging between the two of you gently. “I just wanted to do something nice for you.”

Carmen saw the hesitation on your face, knew what was coming before you said it. He tensed in your hold. “I just… With everything-”

“-Don’t.” Carmen shook his head, the burn in his throat strangling his voice. “You don’t have to, baby.”

“I do.” Your eyes met his, rounding in his gaze. “I want to. I-I don’t really think it will help, but… I don’t know. Whenever I was sad my mom would make this for me.” You nod back towards the pot on the stove. “It always made me feel better.”

Carmen thought he might cry. He willed himself, squeezing your hands, pulling you into his chest to hold you. He just needed to hold you, to feel you, pressing his nose to your scalp, inhaling your scent.

All the emotions he’d repressed, swallowed down and tried to power through. Anytime he’d turn the corner, see Mikey’s smiling face on the fall and he’d feel like breaking down. Screaming, crying, punching the walls, pulling his hair out, ears ringing and heart hammering; instead, he’d go to the walk-in to breathe through collapsing lungs.

You felt Carmen’s shaky breath, rattle out of his chest and shake into yours. Your hand rubbed gently against his back, up his spine in a soothing way you hoped would calm him.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered, cheeks pressed against his chest. His heart raced in your ear, a pounding thud that made your own heart squeeze. “I’m so sorry, Carm.”

“It’s alright.” Carmen gritted, jaw clenching, willing his tears back. “It’s-it’s just a lot. I don’t even fuckin’ know why. Why-Why I even get like this when-when it’s been so long.”

“Don’t do that.” You shook your head, frowning at him lightly.

“No, no it’s true. I- fuck, I shouldn’t be-”

“-Carmen,” You held his gaze firmly. His red rimmed blue eyes met yours, a little wary, vulnerable. You softened, fingers brushing through his hair. “It’s ok.”

The finality in your voice, soft but certain, it made Carmen’s jaw shake, emotions bubbling over. He held you, rocking side by side in the kitchen, cries muffled into your shoulder. You held him back, just as tight, cooing shushes over the hums of the appliances, his tears wet on his sweatshirt- your sweatshirt.

“Don’t expect a lot.” You gave a small, teasing smile over your shoulder.

Carmen had settled into his usual seat at the small kitchen table. He’d sheepishly wiped his tears, letting you dote on him sweetly. Kiss his tears away, soft lips pressing to his wet cheeks, his nose, pulling him in so his lips were on yours, arms still tangled around the other.

“It’s not, like, gourmet or anything.” You shook your head, ladling out the hot liquid into a bowl. “It is my Nana’s recipe though.”

“Better than gourmet then?” Carmen’s voice was raspy with dried tears, though he smiled lightly. Bright enough to warm your heart, leave you smiling, plating the grilled cheese.

“She’d love that you said that.” You grin, setting the steaming bowl and sandwich in front of him. You leaned over, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, a hand running down the back of his neck lovingly.

He burned at the simplicity, the sweetness of it all. So loving and affectionate freely, without any strings attached. Mikey would’ve loved you, Carmen was so sure of it.

“This is good.” Carmen nodded, swallowing his spoonful.

“Yeah?” You grinned proudly, positively beaming.

Of course it was good, the best fuckin’ thing he’s ever had. It came from you, so it only made sense it was. Carmen didn’t say that. Instead, he smiled, reaching over for your hand, squeezing it across the table. “Yeah. Amazing. Just what I needed.” He swallowed another wave of tears, happier this time. “Thank you for, uh, for doin’ this.”

“I’m glad you like it.” You propped your head in your free hand, a lopsided, lovey smile that warmed Carmen from the inside out. He knew his cheeks were blushing, tingling pink under your affectionate gaze.

“It’s really good.” Carmen took another spoonful, the warmth spilling down his throat, soothing his chest. “Sorry I came home early and didn’t call. I just… I’ve been out of my mind, y’know? I’m sorry about that too, it’s-it’s not fair to you, and-”

“-Carm,” You squeezed his hand lightly, fingers intertwining with his. “I’m glad you like it.” You smile sweetly.

Carmen nodded, leg still shaking under the table. He didn’t let go of your hand, held it in an iron grip like a lifeline and you let him, thumb sweeping over his inked knuckles calmly.

If Mikey could see him now, he’d be howling in laughter, cackling at Carmen at how “whipped” he was. Mercilessly tease him for being “soft” in a way that only a big brother could. But he knew Mikey would be so proud, so fuckin’ happy that Carmen found you- that Carmen had someone like you.

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incorrectbatfam · 1 year

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Could you please do some headcanons about Batmans cooking disasters over the years?

Age 5: Bruce puts tinfoil in the microwave. Alfred shakes his head and laughs

Age 6: He decorates a cookie so badly another kid cries until they throw up

Age 7: He tries to make a PB&J and the countertop is sticky for a week

Age 8: He tries to make Martha's chicken noodle soup but ends up crying on the kitchen floor surrounded by half-chopped vegetables

Age 9: He tries to impress a houseguest by recreating Thomas's mixology tricks (sans alcohol). There's still a stain on the ceiling to this day

Age 10: He makes green eggs. It's not on purpose. He's never even read the book

Age 11: He makes lava in the school cafeteria

Age 12: He tries to make cheese bread by drilling holes into a baguette and filling it with melted nacho cheese

Age 13: He melts a cutting board in the oven

Age 14: He folds a Pop Tart

Age 15: The chocolate-covered bananas he makes for the school bake sale come out looking very very wrong

Age 16: He's asked to drop a home economics class after mistaking refried beans for pumpkin puree in a pie

Age 17: He boils eggs in the carton

Age 18: He makes his entire freshman dorm evacuate after burning his ramen to ash

Age 19: He sculpts a severed hand out of meatloaf and is sent to the university psychologist

Age 20: He tries to bake a cake but doesn't have a cake pan, so he pours the batter right in the oven

Age 21: He tries Thomas's mixology tricks again, this time with alcohol. One of the tricks is flipping it over his head. He ends up losing part of his vision for 3 days

Age 22: He burns water. Harley Quinn is there. She still holds it over his head

Age 23: He packs his first patrol snack as Batman. It's a chocolate bar wrapped in a tortilla. The chocolate melts onto his gloves and he drops the tortilla down a sewer grate

Age 24: He makes an ice cream cookie sandwich to eat while he and Batgirl work on a case, but he's so engrossed in the work that he doesn't notice it melt until Babs points it out

Age 25: He enters the first annual Justice League cook-off and immediately gets banned from ever entering again

Age 26: He tries to comfort little Dickie Grayson by making fried cornbread from a book of Roma comfort recipes. It turns out about as well as you'd expect when you give Bruce Wayne hot oil. Bruce is genuinely bummed out, but Dick says it's the thought that counts

Age 27: Clark delivers a huge hunk of beef from the farm. Instead of waiting for Alfred to come back, Bruce and Dick try to break it down with a power saw

Age 28: Bruce and Dick's latkes are burned so badly they can play floor hockey with them

Age 29: He makes stuffed mushrooms. Badly. Like imagine the worst way you can fuck up a mushroom. It still won't compare to what Bruce did. And it's for a potluck with the West-Allens that Barry won't let him live down

Age 30: Bruce sees Dick struggling to make ravioli and he's like "Let me show you how it's done" before proceeding to make it infinitely worse

Age 31: Bruce sees a hungry Jason Todd and the first thing he does when they return to the manor is make a double-decker bread sandwich. That's bread with two more slices of bread in between

Age 32: Bruce packs Dick and Jason's lunchboxes when Alfred is out of town. They're supposed to include a salad. Instead, Dick gets a whole head of lettuce and Jason's is just a bottle of ranch

Age 33: He makes hot chocolate after patrol... but forgets the chocolate

Age 34: The Manor is too cold, so Bruce tries to warm it up by making Jason's favorite soup. His hands shake the whole time. Suddenly, he's eight years old again, sitting on the kitchen floor surrounded by scraps reminding him of his failure

Age 35: Jack and Janet Drake are out of the country again, leaving young Timmy by himself. Bruce decides to bring some dinner over. It's baked perfectly, but it's full of things that shouldn't be anywhere near a casserole dish. They end up ordering takeout and watching old detective movies together

Age 36: Steph walks through how to make waffles. Bruce is standing there, watching closely and taking notes. They still come out looking radioactive

Age 37: Cass asks if they can get smoothies. Bruce says he can make them at home. She gives him a warning look but that's not enough to stop him. Cue Bruce forgetting to put the lid on the blender

Age 38: Jason's first night back at home, Bruce tries to make that soup. It shoots out like a geyser and hits the lights. He's panicking until he hears Jason laugh, and then the soup doesn't matter

Age 39: Damian screws up hummus and he desperately tries to hide it so people won't see him as inadequate at something so basic. Instead of getting upset, Bruce assures him it's okay and offers to fix it. (He doesn't fix it, he just makes it worse)

Age 40: Bruce's birthday happens while he's fake-dead and away from home. He grabs a convenience store cupcake and sticks a single candle on it. Then he closes his eyes, pretends his family is around him, and makes a wish. (The candle droops and sets the hotel sheets on fire)

Age 41: Back at the Manor, he attempts to make lemonade on a particularly hot day. Selina offers to help, but Bruce declines, saying, "How hard can it be?" (Spoiler alert: it's not supposed to be full of seeds)

Age 42: Kate shows him a video of Canadians pouring maple syrup into the snow to make candy, so he gets her to boil the syrup so they can do it together. The problem comes when they can't control the pour and end up with a glob the size of Damian

Age 43: As part of a school project, Bruce and Duke try to deduce the Coca-Cola secret formula. Duke's teacher takes a point off because at the beginning he told her he'd taste the results, but there's no way he's doing that now

Age 44: The family gets together to make a full English breakfast Alfred's birthday. Each person takes a part—Dick has eggs, Jason has the grilled tomatoes, Tim has mushrooms, Duke has the bacon, Steph and Cass are tag-teaming the sausages, Damian just has to open a can of beans, and Bruce needs to put bread in the toaster. It goes South immediately when Damian reaches for his katana instead of the can opener

Age 45: Bruce puts tinfoil in the microwave. Alfred shakes his head and laughs

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hellyeahsickaf · 3 months

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Cooking While Disabled

One of the things I miss most about being less disabled is cooking. It was one of my favorite things to do and something I've always been good at.

On good days there are things I can do that make it easier. It's not the same as before, but I hope that sharing what makes it possible for me to cook helps others who struggle with it.

Tips for cooking while disabled:

You can incorporate precooked food in your meals. For example, stir fry with precooked rice with the ingredients of your choice, or taking frozen pasta (like the ones with maybe sauce and a couple other things) or plain microwave pasta (I prefer these, but heat it first) and putting it in a pan adding other ingredients like vegetables, cheese, garlic, etc

If it comes frozen or canned that can really help. Frozen rice you can just microwave, frozen cut veggies and garlic and onions are good as well

Buy a chopper with different shaped blades, spiralizer, electric slicer/grater, food processor, or any appliance that will save you energy. Ideally machine washable. Stand mixers are also better than manual ones. Especially helpful if you have joint/wrist issues

You can always prepare ingredients ahead of time. I find that sometimes it helps to prep (chopping or mixing ingredients, etc) earlier in the day or even a day before. Then you can put it in the fridge or freezer until you're ready to cook the full meal

Look up easy recipes or recipes for elderly/seniors. With the latter you may find more nutritionally balanced food but an unbalanced easy meal is better than none

You can sit while you prepare ingredients.

You're allowed to take breaks. You can turn the stove off, maybe put a lid on it to retain the heat, sit down, maybe take something for your symptoms. Some things you may not be able to stop in the middle of like making pancakes or deep frying something, but if you're making soup or curry or chili or something, often you can turn it off for a bit and take care of yourself.

If you need help and can get it, please ask for help. I know many of us need to work on asking for help including myself. Even if it's just washing the pots and pans or chopping something. You are not a burden you hear me?

Stretch before and after cooking just as one would before a workout. It will likely lessen any joint pain or stiffness as you are still exerting yourself

Listen to your body. Just as you're allowed to take a break, you are allowed to decide you won't be able to finish what you're doing. You may put away your food before it's done (if this won't ruin the meal). You are allowed to leave a dirty pot in the sink and come back to it later (just make sure you or someone else does before it gets gross). You can wash them in the dishwasher. I know this is bad for the seasoning on pots and pans but you can reseason them to be nonstick again and use nonstick spray

You can buy seasoning mixes rather than using individual seasoning. Instead of parsley, oregano, basil, etc you can buy Italian seasoning. Instead of paprika, pepper, cumin, oregano, salt, etc, you can just get taco seasoning. This may sound obvious but it can save a lot of time and energy

An issue I have is buying perishable ingredients thinking I can use them, having a bad week or two, and the ingredients have gone bad. Try to plan out your meals before shopping and ask yourself if there's an easier alternative for any ingredients. Maybe pre chopped fresh onion instead of a whole one, sliced mushrooms instead of whole, frozen vegetable blends instead of individual, powdered ginger instead of the root, bullion instead of stock that you may not be able to use all at once. I know this is like one of the other points but these are what I find most helpful

Use supercook.com! You input the ingredients you have on hand and you'll get a list of recipes you can make with what you have. Often there's a wide range of complexity and difficulty

Make enough food to freeze or refrigerate leftovers. It helps if you can portion it into single servings in Tupperware or freezer bags. You can prepare frozen burritos for your next few lunches or dinners, separate portion sizes of spaghetti, portion salads, etc

Feel free to add any additions!

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luvfy0dor · 5 months

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“Guess I'll Just Stumble on Home to my Cats !! ♡” - Fyodor Dostoevsky x Gn!Reader ੈ✩‧₊˚

Warnings; None! Fluff.

Description; Fyodor taking care of you while dealing with your cats that he had no idea you had!

A/n; This is part two of the ask in this drabble ! Sorry posts have been super slow lately </3

ೃ⁀➷

Fyodor ended up at your house, taking care of you while you were sick with a cold. Though he much would have preferred you make your way to his house, he just sighed and muttered some number of minutes into the phone. You waited in your bed, sprawled out with the blankets only pulled up to the middle of your torso. You had placed a cold towel on your forehead in hopes of cooling you down, but the heat from your forehead transferred to the towel way too quickly for your liking; and quite frankly you didn't feel like getting up.

And that's exactly why you called your boyfriend over. There were other reasons amongst that one though, like making you chicken noodle soup or keeping your cats out of the trashcan while you suffered through your bedridden state. Fyodor was a smart man, you figured that he could tend to your tasks while you were nearly too tired to think. It was a miracle that you even conjured up the conclusion of calling him over, let alone build confidence to ask him. You didn't wanna be a burden, but his cooperation made you feel a whole lot better.

You turned on some stupid reality tv show a while ago, and you were starting to get highkey invested. As one of the episodes ended, you heard the door open. You let Fyodor know that it was unlocked, but you also had given him a key a couple of months ago just in case he needed it. His soft footsteps hit the ground as he made his way to your bedroom, yet suddenly stopping midway. "Hey there." He softly murmurs, his voice followed by a couple meows, letting you know he had found one of your three cats. It was just now dawning upon you that you had never told him about the furry little mammals.

Some more meows followed the first before Fyodors steps continued. Right before he could make his way down the hallway to your room, he stopped again. "How in the world did you get over here so quickly?" He mumbles again before realizing that it was not, in fact, the same cat. He quietly laughs at his mistake before petting the cat and greeting this one as well. "How many of you are there?" He questions the animal, before standing up. The cat rubs against his leg before skittering on off making him smile slightly. He finally opens the door and his eyes immediately land on your pretty e/c ones, peering back at him through your droopy eyelids.

He gives you a pitiful smile, walking into your bedroom and sitting in the side of the bed. "Hello, my dear, how do you feel?" He asks, feeling your forehead with the back of his hand. You sniffle and sigh. "Not good, m'so hot and stuffy." You groan, eyes squinted. He nods, pushing some hair away from your face. "I can see that. Do you need anything right now?" He softly asks you, taking in your sick appearance. "Uhm...I'm kinda hungry...and could you just make sure the cats stay out of trouble?" You murmur, sniffling horribly. You almost felt a twinge of embarrassment, but you felt comfortable enough with your boyfriend to let him see you in such a vulnerable and discombobulated state.

He nods. "Is it just two of them? Or is there more? You never told me you had cats, my dear." He reminds you, just above a whisper. You shake your head and clear your throat. "No, there's another one. Probably hiding behind some sort of furniture." You say. He hums in response. "Alright, I'll get you something to eat." He says, getting up from the side of your bed and heading back out into your kitchen. He didn't know where anything was, but Fyodor saw your microwave and smiled, knowing he wouldn't have to use pans or anything of the sort. He searched through your cabinets for soup or something that could possibly soothe your cold a little bit, and eventually he stumbled upon a can of chicken noodle soup.

He did a bit more rummaging around and found a bowl and fork, quickly opening the can and pouring the soup into the bowl. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed one of the cats prancing on into the kitchen. He payed it no mind at first, but it hopped up onto the counter and sat, staring at him. After putting the soup in the microwave, he walked over to the cat, trying to shoo it off of the counter. "Get off of the counter, you're not allowed up there." He says monotonously. The cat jumps down, meowing again and standing right at Fyodors feet as he waits for the microwave to finish heating the soup up. They stare at eachother for a moment before the other cat joins the first.

"Do you need something? Are you hungry, too?" He asks with the tilt of his head. The second cat meows, nuzzling it's head against Fyodors leg. "Or do you just want attention?" His own attention is redirected to the microwave when the timer goes off. He removes the bowl from the microwave, grabbing the fork again and stirring it around a little bit. Upon turning back around, he's met with yet another cat directly infront of him. "You can not have this. This is for y/n." He says to the trio as if the words would fend them off. Carrying the bowl carefully, he brings it to you and pushes the door open with his foot.

"Thank you, Fedya." You say, sitting up and reaching out for the bowl. He hands it to you with a small nod. "You're welcome." He notices the damp cloth on the night stand and grabs it. "Do you want me to wet this for you?" He asks, his soft gaze on you. You sniffly nod while you bring the spoon to your lips, blowing away the steam. "Yes please." He gives you a small smile and brings the washcloth to the bathroom sink, and your eyes follow him as he goes. You laugh a little bit, seeing as he's unknowingly gained an entourage of three.

"Look at you and your little posse." You say from your bed. He gives a soft hum of confusion before he audibly realizes what you mean. "They will not stop following me." He says, walking back to you in your bed. You laugh a little bit and take the towel, trying to hold it to your forehead while simultaneously eating your soup. One of the cats leap into the bed, and not to your surprise at all, the other two follow suit. They were like a little, furry gang, trying to cause trouble as they attempted sniffing your soup but we're met with the back of your hand gently pushing them away. "Go lay down." You command them to lay at the end of the bed instead of right one top of your thigh or legs, already way to hot from your sickness and the bowl of soup in your lap.

"Fyodor, I think you should sit with me and watch this show, it's crazy! The drama is off the walls." You blabber on about the show you spent your day watching as you weaved in and out of sleep. He can't help but find you a bit unserious in the moment, but he complies and walks around to the other side of your bed, sitting next to you. "They look familiar." He says, leaning back against the headboard and looked in your direction. "Yeah, it's like, Kim Kardashian and her whole family." You explain to him, continuing to eat your soup. He hums in response, seemingly slightly intrigued. He tries to watch the show, but the feeling of three cats finding a spot on his lap to loaf distracted him. He sighed in amusement as one of the cats laid horizontally over his crossed ankles, another directly in his lap and the other in between the two of you.

He didn't mind the cats at all, infact it provided him some extra warmth on top of the blanket while you were too sick to cuddle. You didn't wanna get him sick, after all. The cats LOVED your boyfriend, immediately taking a liking to the lanky man. His hands ran across their heads and backs as he pet them drowsily, the comfort of his sweatshirt, the blanket, and the cats almost put him to sleep, and eventually they did. You couldn't help but laugh at him as his head leaned back against the headboard, three cats surrounding his body while he slept. You weren't going to wake him up, so you quickly brought the bowl to the kitchen, rinsing it out in the sink and bolting back to the bed, trying to conserve your own sleepiness as you crawled back into the bed. You grabbed onto one of Fyodors hand and held it to your chest as you yourself started to fall asleep, following your boyfriend and cats into a pleasant dream land.

A/n; I almost went a fully week w/o posting, I'm sorry y'all, but I got part two of the Chuuya one out! Two more requests to go and I'll be all caught up. I think next Thursday I'll open requests again, but I also have 4 or 5 other ideas to write out 💀

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thebeast-dennis-etcetera · 2 months

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Let Me Help

If you could only use one word to describe your husband, it would be, stubborn. Whether you tried paying for dinner or driving his truck, he wouldn’t budge on his decision and it was like pulling teeth to convince him otherwise. In your current case, he had come down with a cold and refused to accept any kind of care. It’s like if he pretended he wasn’t sick, it would just magically disappear.

It had apparently even affected his work as you received texts from both Tony and even Vance that he was grumpier than usual, snapping orders and having unrealistic expectations for case leads. You figured if Jethro wanted to be a stubborn mule then let him. Because now you also had to deal with your 8 year old son showing the same symptoms of sickness.

The nurse had called you, explaining that he was complaining about his head and runny nose so you picked him up early and stopped at the grocery store for supplies before heading home.

Multitasking, you prepared what you needed for some homemade chicken noodle soup and got a hot bath started for him, adding some tea tree oil, hoping the steam would help with his congestion. Once he was all set in the tub, you left the door open so you could hear him and continued chopping vegetables in the kitchen. He was in the phase where he really valued his privacy and you helping him take a bath was always shot down, followed by I’m a big boy now mom as he would stand there in his Lego shirt and bear slippers.

The sound of the front door opening and keys being thrown on the little table nearby, signaled that Jethro was home early. He didn’t say a word but said plenty as he trudged over to the couch and fell face first into it. You couldn’t help but smile at his theatrics and continued your cooking.

“Vance send you home early?”

“Mm-hm.”

He rolled onto his back and let out a long sigh, rubbing his temples to relieve some of the headache he told you he didn’t have. Once all your ingredients were prepped and cooking in the pan, you poured the broth in and let it sit in a simmer before heading to the bathroom in search of aspirin, being sure to cover your eyes so your son didn’t yell at you.

Your husband was still laying on the couch when you came over with a glass of water and some aspirin.

“Take these. I’m making some soup as well,” you offered.

He sat up and took the offerings with a grateful grunt.

“Mommy! I’m done!”

You gave Jethro a kiss on the head before tending to your son again.

————

The soup was a hit with both boys, each having 2 servings and now they sat on the couch under a big thick blanket as you handed them each a capful of medicine.

“I don’t wanna,” your son refused, pulling his brows together in discontent and crossing his arms in extra emphasis.

“I don’t wanna do it either bud but it’ll make us feel better. Ready? On three.”

You watched as they swallowed the tart syrup and made the same exact face, causing you to laugh. They handed you over the empty caps and you brought them into the kitchen to wash them. Just then, the microwave went off, telling you the popcorn was ready.

Pouring it into a big bowl, you took your spot in between them on the couch. They each rested their heads against your shoulder and took turns taking pieces of popcorn while the movie played.

“How’s your head my love?” you asked Jethro, running your hand through his hair, massaging into his scalp and temple.

“Mm. Good.”

You then turned to your little boy and brushed his dirty blonde hair from his face as you could already see his blue eyes getting sleepy.

It was a rare opportunity you got to be able to take care of Jethro and your son at the same time. And as much as it was a bit trying at times with both of their stubborn yet needy ways, you wouldn’t trade it for anything.

#gibbs x reader #leroy jethro gibbs #ncis #ncis fanfiction #agent gibbs #mark harmon #ncis request #jethro gibbs x reader #ncis imagine #Jethro Gibbs fanfiction

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weird-an · 1 year

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The first time Billy tries to cook on his own it happens because he's hungry and his dad is at work. His mom hasn't come back yet, it's been a week and he's still waiting for her.

His stomach hurts and he remembers her letting him stir the pots when Neil wasn't home. There is canned soup, but he can't find the opener. Cooking is for girls, his dad says, but he isn't here right now.

So Billy grabs a pot, fills it with water and puts some maccaroni in. He burns his finger on it, when he tries to pour out the water. The maccaroni are too soggy and taste like nothing, but at least he isn't hungry anymore.

The blister on his finger reminds him that he has to look out for himself and by the time its healed he realizes his mom isn't coming back.

When Susan and Max become part of the family, Susan and Neil sometimes go on dates that take way longer than they told them before. Neil loves responsibility, but only for others.

Billy cooks for Max and him these nights. The first time he tries to make chicken, it's a disaster. Argyle laughs at him a day later and asks him if he used any spices. Apparently a ton of salt is too much and not enough at the same time.

Argyle comes over, whenever Billy is sure that Neil and Susan will stay out for at least a few hours more. He brings herbs Billy has never heard of, he shows him how to make picadillo, enchiladas, shows him how a squeezed lime can make everything better. Not only the food, but Billy's whole day.

Billy has his first kiss over a bunch of fish tacos, his lips still tingling from chili and Argyle's warmth. At home, a place where he never thought he'd like to be. But here? In the kitchen? It almost feels like a home.

But then Neil drags him away from California, away from Argyle's smile and tasty dinners. Neil is breathing down his neck and everything is awful.

Billy is stewing in his own misery. Argyle and him break up, more out of desperation than anything and that's just the cherry on top.

Billy is all boiling angers and searing sadness, tries to get on top of Hawkins High, just to forget. When Susan and Neil are gone, he tells Max to get some pizza.

Life is bland and without any flavor.

Steve Harrington and him hang out one day, Billy too tired from learning all about monsters and an Upside Down which is supposed to be even worse than Hawkins.

Harrington tells him he's living off canned food and microwave dinners and maybe it's the beer in his system or Billy's longing to finally cook something again.

Billy digs through Steve's fridge and finds a few veggies and a bit of rice. It's simple, but it's tasty.

Hawkins gets a bit more color and Steve gets even prettier. He comes over more often, drags Steve down to the supermarket and bullies him until his kitchen is always stocked. It's a great outlet. For his sadness, his anger, chopping it into tiny little pieces, throwing it into a pan. It sizzles and grows into his heart beating faster when he looks at Steve. His stomach is full of love after month of starving.

Steve kisses him when Billy has just put a lasagna in the oven and it starts to smell like juicy tomatoes and melted cheese.

Steve's kisses are a great appetizer. Billy wants to simmer in them.

#is anyone interested in steve x billy x argyle #i call it californiasandwich #calisandwich #i like the thought of argyle coming to hawkins and become part of their relationship #i like the thought of billy getting twice the love #harringrove #argyle #billy x steve #billy hargrove #harringrove ficlet #argilly #argyle x billy #billy cooking!!#cali bros

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lowkeyrobin · 2 months

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Headcanons for mcyt x reader doing a cooking/baking stream together??

I love your writing!!!

ooooo okay okay!!! yes of course bro ; also thank you!! I appreciate it sm 🫶🫶🫶🫶

MCYT ; cooking/baking stream

includes ; tommyinnit, tubbo, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu, quackity, & foolish gamers

warnings ; language, grease fires

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

you guys were making lasanga

Garfield jokes every five minutes

there's pasta sauce and cheese everywhere

he's constantly screaming to the viewers because you keep slapping him with the lasagna sheets, cooked or dry

"y/n! help! I'm being assaulted with lasagna sheets!"

he stained his shirt with pasta sauce 💀💀

almost set the house on fire bc he somehow left shit in the oven before preheating it

you turn on music halfway through and it turns into a karaoke stream

"CALIFORNIA GIRLS WERE UNFORGETTABLE-"

TUBBO

what was once a nice cake baking stream turned into making your kitchen a biohazard

somehow, you both went on a spree dropping everything to the point the frustration got too much for you, and you nearly screamed, while tubbo was trying to joke around about it to make you feel better

eating the remaining batter after putting the cake pan in the oven was a must

"aren't we gonna get salmonella?"

"that's only for Americans"

"really???"

the next 40 minutes consist of karaoke and reading dumb tweets/threads and AITA Reddit stories

"no, you are not the asshole because you were accustoming to a customer's needs, the fuck?"

"fire the manager"

"if they could've I feel like they would've"

cake was a 10/10

RANBOO

you were making soup because you found a good recipe you wanted to try

you accidently spilled the broth and covered your legs in it

he cut himself chopping up the celery (very minor cut dw)

"cooking stream? more like we injure ourselves for two hours stream"

"cooking stream? I hardly know her"

very chaotic but very good soup

during the intervals where you guys were just waiting for things to cook, you started a hashtag on Twitter to ask you guys stuff

and you answered them while keeping an eye on the food

afterwards you guys watch TV and eat your food while still streaming

"normalize eating on stream 2024!"

FREDDIE BADLINU

you were making breakfast for dinner on stream

you had to go use the bathroom while the bacon was cooking and left Freddie to tend to everything for less than a minute

and he started a grease fire.

after he got it extinguished he kinda just stood there waiting for you

meanwhile chat was exploding with panic and laughter

"Hey, y/n, I don't think we're having bacon tonight!"

"What the fuck happened???"

luckily no damage to anything other than the meat

the rest of it was really good though, and the stream had enough action for tonight 💀💀

NIKI NIHACHU

you guys were making cupcakes

you dropped like two eggs 💀💀💀 so while she was getting new ones you were cleaning up all the eggshell fragments and the insides

you got the camera to show stream your fucking mess and someone sent a dono saying "butterfingers ass"

the cackling after that 💀

you're able to get them into the oven though

and while you're waiting for them to cook, you watch dance moms and discuss everything wrong with it

commentary youtubers? I hardly know them

she begins making the icing while you pull the cupcakes out to let them cool

10/10 cupcakes they're amazing

you guys had a pride flag theme so lmao

ALEX QUACKITY

you were supposed to be making pancakes as a little challenge

his are literally raw and he put chocolate chips from the freezer straight in them

"that banana isn't gonna help anything"

"how do you know that??"

flour is everywhere. it looks like a war started

you put to much non-stick spray on the skillet and started a little fire

but Alex to the rescue dw

he couldn't even figure out how to use it and almost sprayed himself in the face!

goes on Twitter later to update that your kitchen was completely fine but the underneath of your microwave is a tiny bit melted

you blame him every time after that 💀💀

"my microwave melted a bit because you don't know how to use a fire extinguisher!"

"youre the one who used too much spray!"

chat always sides with you, too 😭😭

FOOLISH GAMERS

you thought making fried rice was a good idea? wrong

he literally has no idea what's happening

"can you make the scrambled eggs for me while I tend to the vegetables?"

"how many?"

"they're literally on the cabinet"

chat clipping every single funny moment too

"is the rice cooker even on? holy shit you left it on warm"

"I thought that meant it was on!"

"dude you've used this thing before, how long did it take for you to cook it?"

"like, forever"

"oh my god"

fried rice 10/10

he's complaining about the vegetables like he didn't have like two hours to say something about different veggies

#lowkeyrobin #mcyt x reader #mcyt preferences #mcyt oneshot #tommyinnit x reader #ranboo x reader #quackity x reader #badlinu x reader #freddie badlinu x reader #niki nihachu x reader #nihachu x reader #foolish gamers x reader #tubbo x reader

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rius-cave · 2 months

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I firmly believe that despite a horrific inability to cook anything else, Adam has PERFECTED making pizza rolls. Perfect temperature, mind-blowing crust, they never get too soggy, or burn the roof of your mouth.

Meanwhile, pork chops? Burnt to a crisp.

Pasta/ramen? Either barely cooked and still crunchy, or a mushy mess.

Heating up soup? Hope you didn't like that pan/microwave, because it's a smouldering mess now.

But pizza rolls? A+. Every. Single. Time.

-🥠

Anon I regret to inform you that I had never heard of those before (my ass is too Mexican probably) but quick googling gives me two different looking things, I assume you mean the ones that look like cinnamon rolls.

Man. That thing implies making DOUGH and BAKING, using the OVEN..... that is one bold choice to make as your exception for the Adam can't cook rule!

#hazbin hotel #adam #ask

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cherry-cola-on-ice · 1 year

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Tender Moments with Michael Myers (RZ)

Arts and Crafts . Something good he picked up from his time at Smiths Grove (practically the only thing) is his mastery of papier-mâché. He's gonna to make you the most intricate and beautiful masks. The first mask he ever made you, a monarch butterfly, sits proudly in a shadow box.

Sex. It might not sound tender to you, but sex is a sacred thing to Michael. He was almost afraid of intimacy, well into the first year of your relationship. But Michael learned that, being a man of few words, he finds it difficult to express with words how he feels. His love language is definitely touch.

Hand holding. Piggybacking on the previous hc, hand holding is another way he shows his affection. He is ,to this day, scared of it though. Is his hand too rough, too clammy? Too scarred? Just tell him you love it and he'll never stop. After awhile, it's almost a security blanket for him.

Movies. Don't take him to a theater, please. For everyone's benefit. He's more of a Netflix and chill kinda guy. He loves those old sci-fi movies, like the og King Kong and Godzilla. And he also loves a good Hammer Horror (Christopher Lee as Dracula) it reminds him of days his mom was off work.

Cooking. It's not so much him doing the cooking as it is you cooking for him. And it's not a misogyny thing, it's a comfort. It's the idea that you would take time out of your day to take care of him. To be honest all you need to do is empty out of Campbell's chicken noodle soup into it pan throw it in the microwave and he's good.

Bath time. Again it's not a sex thing it's an intimacy thing. Plus we all know baby boy needs a bath he stinky. He'll fight you tooth and nail at first, but the first time you pop in a bath bomb? You literally could see the stress and The Angst™️ wash off of his body.

Your song

#slasher x reader #slashers x reader #slasher headcanons #michael myers x reader #michael myers x you #rz michael myers x reader #rz michael myers #rob zombie michael myers #michael myers halloween #halloween 2007 #Spotify

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mariacallous · 7 months

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Growing up in Seattle, our Friday night menu was nearly the same every week: chicken soup, roast chicken slathered in teriyaki sauce, a starchy side and salad. We always had a large bottle of Yoshida teriyaki sauce in the fridge, a fixture in the side door. But why were we eating teriyaki chicken for Shabbat dinner?

Teriyaki chicken is an iconic Seattle dish; it wasn’t until I moved away that I discovered not every city is teeming with great teriyaki shops. The dish is rooted in Japanese cuisine: Teriyaki is a traditional Japanese style of cooking where a protein is cooked over a flame while it is basted in a sauce made of soy sauce, sugar, sake and/or mirin. “Yaki” means grill, and “teri” means shine. The sticky, sweet teriyaki sauce most Americans are familiar with was developed by Japanese American immigrants.

Seattle’s version of teriyaki deviates from its Japanese roots thanks to a man named Toshihiro Kasahara. In 1976, Kasahara opened Toshi’s Teriyaki Restaurant, which quickly became a wildly successful Seattle lunch spot. Kasahara inspired a wave of teriyaki establishments across the city and the region, helping make the dish ubiquitous in the Pacific Northwest. Seattle-style teriyaki is loaded with ginger and garlic, and instead of basting the meat, teriyaki is more often made by marinating the meat in sauce overnight. It’s typically served with steamed rice and an iceberg lettuce salad with gingery, tangy dressing. The store-bought sauce my family used was also developed by a Seattle resident, Kyoto-born Junki Yoshida.

Food in the diaspora is always influenced by our neighbors, and teriyaki has become a welcome staple in Jewish homes, particularly across the Pacific Northwest. This recipe is designed to give you all the flavors and char that great teriyaki chicken offers, with the ease of preparing a complete meal on a sheet pan. The sauce is salty, thick, gingery and sweet, and as the chicken cooks, it releases its juices and flavors to the surrounding vegetables. You can substitute homemade sauce for your favorite premade bottle, and you can ditch the oven and cook this on the grill for extra char. Served with a steaming heap of short grain rice, it makes a delicious, simple meal for Shabbat, or any day of the week.

Note: You can swap drumsticks for chicken thighs, but if you would like to swap for boneless, skinless breasts the cook time may be slightly longer. The dish reheats well in the microwave, stovetop or oven.

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crippledpunks · 2 years

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low energy/mobility food suggestions that aren't ramen for chronically ill and disabled people, taken from my personal recipe book:

- meal replacement shakes my beloved holy shit seriously. keep some around for when you are too sick to move, cook or eat, be it in powder form, or the already made shakes. walmart and other places have generic slim fast and ensure shakes that are way cheaper and just as good. there is also carnation instant breakfast, though they are owned by nestle so if you dont want to support them, avoid that brand.

- boxes of individual sachets of cream of wheat and oatmeal that can be microwaved. no lots or pans just a nice filling meal. cream of wheat can be prepared savory or sweet also!

- stir fry. very simple concept, take whatever vegetables you actually like eating, frozen veggies work great they make stir fry veggie kits, grab a bottle of sauce and whatever protein if you want any. one pan meal unless you also plan on adding rice or noodles, those will bulk it out and make it last for longer, but making rice without a rice cooker is very intensive. this also requires being able to stand or at least be seated in front of your stove for about 20 minutes on average.

- garlic bread or texas toast with cheese. take a thick slice of bread, put some butter, garlic and shredded cheese, place in the oven on a low temp (~350° F depending on your oven) for a few minutes. violá

- tuna, turkey, ham, etc melts. prepare your favorite sandwich like you would normally, add some cheese, butter the bread on the outsides and cook like grilled cheese. makes you feel way more satisfied than you would with a cold sandwich, makes a good low effort warm dinner (great with soup!)

- hummus. keep hummus around if you like it. you can use it as a spread on sandwiches to give them extra protein and you can also just have hummus with bread, bagels, chips, veggies, etc. it's versatile, low energy to prepare and it gives you good energy

- potato salad, macaroni salad, mashed potatoes, coleslaw and any other large "family" side dishes that can be bought from the deli at a supermarket. very filling, zero effort and they last a while

- have one type of bread for sandwiches and a nicer type for toast. trust me on this one. toast is a great meal, but you want your bread to not be sandwich bread. get a loaf of italian bread, sourdough, rosemary bread, or any other cheap large loaves of bread. toast that for just a few minutes in the oven/toaster oven. you will understand the difference when you do.

- canned baked beans or my favorite, canned yams. these will both fill you right up and make you feel like you're having a holiday dinner, baked beans are good at room temperature too if you have no spoons to cook. canned yams/sweet potatoes can be microwaved and have butter, and sugar if you like thrown on top. I've eaten just this as a meal so many times. cans of refried beans are also a blessing to have around

- cheese of all kinds, especially cottage cheese. sometimes I can't figure out what to eat so i just eat some damn cheese and it works. yogurt is also really good to keep around, if you like it, as it also requires no preparation for the most part unless you like to add stuff to it

- keep a box of granola bars or fruit bars around. having a hearty filling snack for when you can't find the energy to do much will save you. loose granola is also a real banger

#actually disabled #chronically chill #chronic pain #chronically ill #chronically disabled #disabled problems #cripplepunk #crip punk

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triflingthing · 3 months

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What does a typical day of eating look like for you? Love your cooking content!

Never been asked this before lol

On a WFH day I’ll normally start with Greek yogurt, homemade granola, and a fruit chopped in with my moka pot americano (black).

Lunch like honestly whatever I can scrounge up, sometimes pesto eggs, sometimes leftover fried tofu with siracha, microwaved pizza lol, it’s always ✨girl lunch✨ in this house. Not for my partner, who I meal prep for so he eats like a king. I don’t know why I do this either, it’s a mental illness.

Around 3PM I’ll have something sweet with a mug of herbal tea to perk me up!

And then dinner will be whatever I feel like making, slow roasted tomato soup and grilled toasties, eggplant parmesan, buttery, crispy gnocchi with pan fried brussel sprouts, that’s where I give it my all.

Then my goodnight tea and MORE dessert like a few pieces of dark chocolate or an entire birthday cake. Mood dependent.

#asks #my asks

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secondbeatsongs · 1 year

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new year, new food crime

I hate it when recipe bloggers tell you the entire rundown of their day before giving the recipe, so just to start off, I'm going to put this here:

3 cups of liquid (water + shrimp water) 3 packets unflavored gelatin 1 tbsp vegetable base (or a bouillon of some kind; that'd probably be fine) 1 large handful of shrimps (approx 20) 3 eggs, hard-boiled and sliced 1 small bag mixed frozen vegetables, thawed a gelatin mold or bowl with a capacity of 4 cups

now, looking at this ingredients list you might be asking, "hey SBS, what the fuck did you cook this time?" and to that I say: buckle up.

so I've been watching Arne & Carlos' videos for a bit, firstly because I was curious if they were gay (they seem to be), and secondly because I like their knitting patterns

but their channel isn't just knitting! they also cook together, and it's fun and chaotic, and one of the things they cooked…intrigued me.

I don't know how this dish is spelled. cabaret? kabaret? there are only a few recipes for it online, and most of those are not in english. but essentially, it is a Norwegian aspic with shrimp, vegetables, and hard-boiled egg in it.

what is aspic, you might ask? well, it's…I mean…it's meat jello. that's what it is. you cook meat for a while (some recipes say to use pig's feet, snout, etc), and it makes a gelatinous broth, which solidifies when it cools.

delightful!

however, I am not willing to make aspic from scratch for this, so I substituted it with unflavored gelatin packets. hooray!

(apparently in Norway, you can buy packets of instant aspic! but since you can't do that here, I looked up what ingredients are in instant aspic, and after putting them through google translate, decided "huh, seems like gelatin powder with some kind of bouillon", so that's how I ended up here)

this recipe isn't so much cooking as it is…construction. like sure, you heat up the gelatin, but after that it's pretty much just putting stuff together.

and apparently you can make this with pre-cooked or canned shrimp, but I only had the raw frozen kind, so I put them in a saucepan with just enough water to cover them, heated them until they were fully cooked, and then saved the water from the pan to mix in with the gelatin.

so, shrimpy water + enough water to make 3 cups of liquid, and then I mixed in vegetable base until it tasted…fine. (it didn't taste good, it just tasted…okay.)

then I heated up the liquid in the microwave (in a big 4-cup measuring cup), mixed in the three gelatin packets, and there you go! that's all of the cooking done.

now, for the assembly.

I put some of the shrimp all the way at the bottom of the jello mold, trying to arrange it so that it would look nice. I sliced the hard-boiled eggs, and put the prettiest slices of egg around the edges, sprinkling in some vegetables and pouring gelatin as I went.

…and then I gave up on being artistic, and just kinda lumped everything else in, and covered it with the gelatin mixture.

(unfortunately I didn't think to take pictures of the assembly portion of this, because I was multitasking at the time and got distracted, but you'll just have to trust me that it was a tolerable experience, and didn't look very interesting)

after that I chucked it into the fridge (gently), and left it alone while I streamed with makerrcat for a bit, stayed up way too late, and then passed out in a dramatic fashion.

13-ish hours later, I rescued it from its frigid prison.

hmmm

stare into the murky depths with me for a moment. look at this…nightmarish placid soup. this motionless broth.

one of my egg slices definitely didn't get covered all the way.

ah, well.

to unmold this monstrosity, I put it in a bowl of hot water for a minute or so, until it seemed like it could pull away from the edges. it really didn't take much, so if you (god forbid) try this yourself, keep an eye on it. gelatin melts fast.

then I put a plate over the jello mold, and flipped it over.

after a few tense seconds, it released from the mold with a slimy kthnk sound.

carefully. nervously. I lifted the mold.

and then I let out an involuntary "oh!" because…

…it's kind of…eerily beautiful?

like in a horrifying sort of eldritch way, it looks…lovely

vegetables and shrimp and eggs, suspended not just in space but in time, preserved and surrounded by a gelatinous cocoon…

I just like staring at it, okay! I just think it looks cool! so here's another picture of it from the side:

the egg slices…the little bits of yolk…enchanting

it definitely smells like food. but it's unclear what kind. vaguely shrimp-vegetable-egg, but muddled

let's cut into it

oh. oh god. it made kind of a…squelch? when I cut it?

hold on, you have to experience this for yourselves

god. deeply unsettling.

now, seeing what the inside is like is kind of interesting! there are places where the gelatin has sort of splintered apart from being cut, and there are gaps where pieces of vegetable have fallen out.

but...how does it taste?

...

fuck.

I really like it

this bizarre combination of textures is weirdly satisfying! the squish of the egg and the gelatin, the slight crunch of the vegetables and shrimp, it's just…good?

the gelatin itself just tastes vaguely of broth, but I don't mind it! I don't know if I would eat it by itself, but with the shrimp, egg, and veggies, it's perfectly okay!

the shrimp, egg, and vegetables of course just taste (respectively) like shrimp, egg, and vegetables, but that's...fine? I like all of these things, so this is pretty enjoyable!

so, some of the recipes I managed to find mention serving it with sort of a mayo-mustard mix, so obviously I have to try that

this...helps? like, it tastes really pleasant?

not that it was bad before, but it remains an enjoyable experience!

and a video that I saw (but could not understand) seemed to show it served on a piece of bread, again with the mayo-mustard.

this is also fine! I enjoy this too! I don't feel like it needs the bread, but it's all right!

this is bizarre.

I think most people would probably hate this. it's got the look of a 1960s party food (which is probably what it is), and "meat jello" isn't a texture that modern society regularly enjoys, but…I love it.

I actually love this.

I kind of understand now why people call dishes like this a "jello salad", because…I mean, I'm eating it, and my brain is saying, "yup. this is a salad" and I have no fucking idea why, but this right here? salad. for sure.

cold, wet salad.

damp, even.

so like...is this objectively good food? probably not.

but is it fun to eat? I think so.

it's refreshing, somehow. it's light, but also more filling than I expected it to be. I have no idea how much would be considered a reasonable serving, but I intend to figure it out as I go along.

so I'm not saying "go make this!" because although this combination of textures plays well with my brain in particular, I don't think that would be the case for everybody.

but I will be eating the rest of this.

weirdly? weirdly, it's just good.

an edit, a few days later:

I have done it. I have consumed the entire thing. and I enjoyed every bite of it.

in fact, I plan on making it again! probably more than once!

food crime? no. food…

(pauses to look up what the opposite of "crime" is)

…food blessing. food virtue. food achievement! food…benevolence.

this is what cabaret is.

at least, that's what it is to me.

(create and consume at your own risk.)

#food crimes #food #beware the tags if you haven't clicked the read more #beyond this point there are spoilers #well. I dunno. can a food crimes post be spoiled? who knows. probably #anyway #you have been warned #cabaret #kabaret #aspic #gelatin #shrimp #by the way #I decided a reasonable serving is about 1/4 of this recipe #that was enough for lunch #serve it with a slice of bread and a glass of milk #and I think that'd probably be enough for dinner #for me anyway #idk how other humans operate #I did genuinely enjoy this by the way #this isn't a joke - I really genuinely loved this #there was something so pleasant about the texture #it's hard for me to explain #but it was delightful #joyous even #and I will make it again #oh! another thing #one thing that's the opposite of ''crime'' is ''justice''#so it could be ''food justice''#which is‚ if I'm not mistaken‚ what happens in a food court

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