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hannahssimblr · 7 months

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Chapter Twelve

“The good weather is making me suspicious” Claire says to us as we spend yet another blazing hot afternoon on the deck of the mobile. It’s been weeks now without a drop of rain, and I have to concede with her that it’s weird. The grass is starting to shrivel up and turn brown, little whiskers of pale straw, and heavy, dense air oozes through the village like treacle. Everyone moves slowly as though they’re wading through it, anxious for a thunderstorm that never arrives to cleanse it. At night I lie with the windows open, skin glazed with sweat and hair still wet from a cold shower, but sleep doesn’t come easily. It’s rare that Ireland gets hot like this, but when it does it’s unbearable and though I rarely fantasise about wintertime I find myself imagining cold droplets of rain or snow flakes on my arms and face.

“How’s it making you suspicious?” Kelly has big sunglasses on and has turned her face up towards the sun, seemingly the only person who’s enjoying the heatwave. I wonder if she just pretends to, because it’s what Irish people are supposed to do; suffer through the misery of a hot spell because so much of our year is beaten down by rain and sharp winds, long, dark, bleak winters that go on for far too long, we should be thankful for every drop of sunshine that is served up to us.

Claire fans her face with the book she’s trying to read. “Because it’s never this hot for this long, I’m starting to get awful sick of it.”

“Blasphemy.”

I know that there’s no end in sight yet for it. The forecast shows another two weeks of cloudless skies at least, and at this rate we’ll be into August before we see rain again. I agree with Claire, It’s all becoming too much, and only for my morning swims – which by now have become afternoon and evening swims too so that I can keep myself cool – I’d be really suffering. My pasty skin was never meant for this weather.

“I’m bored.” she protests. “And there’s nowhere to escape to when it’s like this, I just feel sweaty wherever I go.”

“I’m not.” Kelly says somewhat defensively. “I always spent my summers like this, it’s fine, you just need to learn to relax.”

“But I feel like we didn’t make any actual plans, like Evie is the only one who even left the beach all summer.”

“Yeah to go to an art gallery, which neither of us would be bothered with.”

“And you really wouldn’t have been bothered with that one.” I say. “It was modern art.”

“Bleargh.” Kelly emotes. “I’d definitely rather not have done that. I don’t know why you’re complaining, honestly. This was what you agreed to do for the summer. Better to be doing nothing here than doing nothing at home in the midlands.”

“But it’s my birthday the week after next.” Claire protests. “My eighteenth.” She says this with wide, urgent eyes as though this is of dire importance, like this is the one significant birthday she will ever have. “We haven’t planned to do anything yet.”

“Well we could go to a nightclub.”

“I can’t, I’ll still be seventeen.” I remind them.

“We’ll just get you a fake ID.”

“No.” Claire says. “I’m not dealing with that. And I don’t want to go to some nightclub for my birthday anyway. If I was at home my mam would have made me a big cake and had balloons and birthday banners up all over the house.”

“And what? A bouncy castle too?” Kelly jokes, and Claire rolls her eyes.

“Well, what would you like to do?” I ask her, feeling like I should try to help to move the conversation into a somewhat more productive sphere. “I’m up for anything that’s like, not including clubbing or anything else that isn’t age appropriate for me.”

Claire looks away from us and out over the caravan park shrugging. “Well… maybe there’s something I’d like to do, but… it might be a bit late to plan it.”

“We can at least try to make it happen, even with short notice.”

She shrugs self-consciously “On the weekend of my birthday there’s a festival.”

“A music festival?” I echo, thinking that something like that sounds pretty cool to me, actually, and I don’t understand why she seems embarrassed about it.

“Yeah, it’s on up in Laois, and there’s so many good acts playing at it, I was looking at the website the other day.” She looks at me then. “And you don’t have to be eighteen to go. The age limit is seventeen, we could all go together no bother.”

“That sounds so fun!” I say, beginning to feel excited by the idea of going to a music festival; something that always seemed reserved to those older and much cooler than me. I start to think about all the things I will bring with me, and the outfits I might wear when Kelly interjects.

“Where’d you hear about it?” She asks, her eyes narrowed a little in suspicion.

Claire shrugs. “Everyone knows about it, it’s a big event, like.”

“Yeah but you didn’t seem bothered about going to it until now, that’s all I’m saying.”

Claire looks baffled, and rightly so, Kelly’s questioning seems absurd to me too. We glance at each other, Claire’s eyebrow is raised and I just shrug back at her. I don’t know what to say.

“Um. Sorry I didn’t mention it enough times before now.”

“Yeah well I think it’s a bit short notice, we won’t get tickets.”

“No, they’re still for sale.”

Kelly shoots the kind of withering look at Claire that would make me feel like curling up into a little ball and wishing I would vanish, but she seems unfazed. “I think I’ll buy a ticket. If the two of you want to or don’t want to, that’s up to you.”

I pipe up nervously. “But you can’t go alone. Where will you stay? In a tent by yourself?”

“No she won’t.” Kelly growls. “My brother and his friends are going. She’ll probably bunk in with them.” She stares pointedly at our friend “Won’t you?”

Suddenly I understand everything. Kelly knew the entire time that Shane and the gang already had tickets to the festival. I see Claire glancing quickly away from us again, but I catch a pink blush on her cheeks before she turns. Is there something else I don’t know, I wonder? Did the gang invite her to come with them? The thought of this makes me feel miserable, as I start to ponder all the reasons why they might have asked her and not me too.

“I don’t know why we can’t just enjoy the summer with just us.” Kelly rants. “That was the point. You think I wanted to spend any time with Shane? I see him every day at home, I’m sick of it. I’m sick of him always being around and everyone being obsessed with him. Like, sorry now Claire, but is it too much to ask that I get to have friends that actually want to hang out with me instead of him?”

“That’s not true.” I say in an attempt to be helpful, but she just barrells on.

“Oh, Shane plays county football, Shane did eight subjects in the Leaving. Shane is so funny and has so many friends, and he’s going to get into UCD and do science. It’s so boring. I’m actually really bored of hearing about it if I’m being honest.”

“Maybe you should stop being so sour about it then.” Claire snaps back. “Everyone can tell that you’re jealous. So what if you’re not better than him at every little thing? Get over it. You’re boring.”

There’s weight in the air after this that makes me want to hold my breath for fear that if I don’t all hell will erupt. I glance at Kelly to see her jaw set and her arms tightly crossed over her chest. Claire looks surprised at what she’s just uttered too, but it’s too late for her to go back on it now. She steadies herself and goes on. “It’s my birthday and you can’t even let go of your own jealousy enough to let me do what I want to do for it. If you just stopped needing to control everything then we’d all be having a better summer already, but I’m allowed to hang out with whoever else I want to hang out with, and I’m allowed to go to the festival if I want to. You don’t have to come. And actually, if you’re going to have that annoying face on you the whole time, I wouldn’t want you there anyway.”

“Well, I’m not going.”

“Good.” She stands up so abruptly that the chair rattles beneath her. “And Evie, I can buy two tickets or one. If you want to come you can.”

I blink, dazed. “I um. Nobody invited me.”

“I’m inviting you.”

“Neither of us want to go.” Kelly snaps.

“Are you her mam?”

Kelly’s face is pink and furious now. I’ve only seen her pushed to this point a handful of times and it makes me hot and prickly all over. My stomach feels sick and I desperately wish for the superpower of teleportation so that I can beam myself from this situation, but instead of things escalating any further, Claire just leaves. I watch her storm down the steps and across the caravan park, her blonde hair bobbing about her shoulders until she swings around a corner and she’s gone. I turn to look at Kelly, to say something placid and vaguely comforting to her but she’s not there anymore. Her seat is empty, and I realise she’s gone inside the mobile home to sit by herself, or to scream into her pillow or throw something against a wall as is her usual. The flimsy plastic door rattles shut and seems to echo through the park, and then I am alone out on the deck, ears ringing sweaty palms and heart leaping in my chest.

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#sims #sims 4 #ts4 #simlit #sims 4 story #writing #sims story #fiction #romance #sims 4 storytelling #sims4 storytelling #sims storytelling #lucky girl part 1

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houkagokappa · 1 year

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It’s Monday and I’m exhausted. I didn’t get to rest on the weekend, because I had uni work and chores to keep me busy for most of it. I also celebrated my sister’s birthday with my family, which I have mixed feeling on, since my sister was late for it by two hours. I could’ve used those two hours to wind down and just exist as myself, but instead I spent them annoyed at her being late, worried something might’ve happened, anxious not knowing what was going on and irritated because I hadn’t eaten anything since the morning and had gotten incredibly hungry. My sister’s habitually late, but she usually lets us know how late she’ll be and this time around we got radio silence. When she finally picked up (an hour later) it turned out that she overslept because she spent the entire night (until 8 am) helping a friend who was dealing with “a crisis”, and once she went to sleep she forgot to set an alarm. I can’t even be mad at her for being late because she did the right thing helping a friend in need (8 am might seem excessive, but sometimes that’s life and I’m not about to question the validity of someone's crisis).

I had a good time once she got to my parents place, but it is really frustrating how she continues to show no respect for us and our time, especially this week and last week when I’ve had to push myself to make the schedules work. One of the things that annoy me the most is how she’s never cared to put the effort in for us, “that’s just how she is and we should plan around it”, even though she’s entered an industry where the working hours are strict and she doesn’t seem to have any problems following those or going above and beyond to help her friends. I guess this stems from/adds to the bigger issue where I feel like I’m not important enough to be worth that extra effort (although I’m super close to my sister so it’s not like she doesn’t appreciate me).

It also really sucks how I’ve gotten a lot of great news lately, and I’m currently doing an internship that I’ve dreamed about for ages, but I’m still stressed and exhausted. My life is supposed to be “good” right now, so why don’t I feel that way? The answer is because I overwork myself, which is frustrating, since I’m too much of a perfectionist to spend less time on tasks (double, triple, quadruple checking everything before I turn in any assignments) and I have been working less weekly hours than what’s intended for the internship, so it feels like I should be able to deal with this much, if not more.

I mentioned being exhausted to my dad and his response was “welcome to the working life”, which was irritating since 1) this is not my first job/it’s not even a job, so it’s not like this is my first experience with working life, and 2) he doesn’t have a bunch of extra uni work and a single person household to run at the same time. I pointed that out to him, but he claimed to still think about work during his weekends (which is probably true to some degree, but it’s still not the same). My parents are lovely people and they do help me out a lot with different things, but they’ve never understood my mental health struggles (which, to be fair, I hide for the most part). They probably don’t think I have any anymore, since I’m doing all these things now, so it feels like I get very little sympathy for my troubles. I’m also worried that my life’s always going to be this way, with me not having as much energy as I used to have/ want to have/ feel like I’m expected to have. Like I’ve come a long way, but life’s still kinda shit :/

...

I have to remember to be kinder towards myself. I’ll schedule in time for my uni assignments and I’ll take it away from the hours I’d spend on my internship (since they allow me to come and go as I please), so that I’ll have the evenings off. I’ll attend events only if I feel like I’m up for it, I’m not going to force myself to attend just because something’s organized and it sounds fun. I’ve been doing better, but I still need to remind myself to take it easy.

#my nonsense #my life #a vent post but it takes a positive direction

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onewithnomightypowers · 3 years

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Old Habits

pairing: Tom Holland x fem!reader

summary: Old habits come back when you meet an ex lover after a long time. Conversations feel like you never stopped talking to them. Sometimes you have to see them one last time to say goodbye like you mean it but most of the time it doesn’t go as planned.

warning: drinking

words: 2.1k

a/n: could be read as part 2 of last kiss but is a stand alone. got a bit poetic at the end. hope you guys like it. and as always, love reading your opinions/reactions. also asks are open. (gif not mine)

masterlist

'@tomholland2013 posted a story'

She picked up her phone to open Instagram. Yes, Y/N still had notifications on for his account even after they were broken up for months. Classic Tom.

He posted two of the same picture on his story. No one understood how that would happen almost every time, not even the people working at Instagram to whom they contacted about the glitch.

Tom had his hair slicked back, standing in a white t-shirt next to Harry, his brother, giving a million-dollar smile. They were holding a clapperboard together. There was text on the picture too, 'day 1 let's go!!' She smiled to herself. Just because they weren't together doesn't mean that she wasn't allowed to feel happy for his achievements. Even though she wishes to know all these big things from Tom himself she is, unfortunately, left here, watching a small part of his life flash in front of her for less than thirty seconds.

"Are you listening?" Hope, Y/N's date said.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. You were saying?" Y/N placed the phone back where it was resting, next to the cold wine bottle.

"You seem distant," they said.

When she 'met' Hope (she only really met them 30 minutes ago), Y/N wasn't looking for love, just sex, and that is what online dating specializes in. She hoped Hope knew what they were signing up for, sexual intimacy and nothing else.

"It doesn't matter does, does it? We both know what we are here for. Why not just cut the chase," Y/N replied.

It was early in the morning, the sun had yet to shine in its full glory. Y/N could only think of the first time she stayed over at Tom's old apartment but then she turned her head only to find Hope's naked body next to her. Her heartbeat accelerated with the realization that he was not hers anymore. Being in a foreign environment didn't help her growing anxiety, twisting and turning her intestines.

It's been four months, her feelings for Tom refuse to quit on her because she knows she could never quit on them, on him, even if he has. He probably has already found someone else in Canada, she thought. She didn't want him anymore but she still needed him, one last time just to teach her stupid heart how to say goodbye.

Y/N wore her clothes and picked up her shoes, going on a trail to find Hope's door to get out before they wake up. Climbing down the stairs, she took out her phone from the back pocket of her jeans.

'5 new messages from Sam' 7 hours ago

Sam: hey

Sam: ik it's late

Sam: I am going for a run tmr morning @6

Sam: do you wanna come?

Sam: will go to the new coffee house near my house after that

Y/N texted him back

Y/N: I'll meet you at the coffee place

Sam: come fast. already here

Sam and Y/N were standing in the queue to place their orders. “You look especially shitty today,” Sam said, running his right hand through his sweaty hair.

“I haven’t been home yet,” Y/N reasoned her appearance.

His mouth formed an ‘o’ shape. The person in front of them left the queue, they moved towards the counter. “One hazelnut latte, double shot with skimmed milk,” Y/N gave her order.

“And you?” the cashier’s question directed to Sam.

“I’ll have a matcha latte with oat milk”

Sam turned to Y/N, “Harrison got me on matcha, and now I can’t go back to coffee”

They paid their dues and moved over to the barista counter to collect their order.

“So, what were you doing last night?” Sam inquired.

“I was on a date, it isn't a big deal though. Just had some needs to take care of”

“Oh, was it any good?”

“It was fine. I was distracted the whole time. Saw Tom’s story about halfway into the bottle of merlot. Couldn’t stop thinking about him”

“Seems…sad. But you know Tom is coming back for the Christmas weekend, I think. He might attend Harrison’s Christmas eve party”

“One hazelnut latte and one matcha latte,” someone behind the counter screamed.

“That’s us,” Sam raised his voice.

Harrison had a bucket inside his house, under a sign that said 'drop your tracking devices here' with an arrow pointing to the bucket. Y/N dropped her phone on a pile of roughly fourteen others. Debating whether to see Tom's face was something she wanted or not made her late and not very fashionably.

The house was decorated with empty liquor bottles along with red and green streamers from one wall to another. Everyone was drunk in their best dress. There were no signs of Tom yet. Y/N took a deep breath, walking towards the kitchen to get herself some liquid courage to help her socialize.

The kitchen was rather scarcely populated. Empty glasses were lined up next to the sink. Are they clean or used? Bending down, Y/N opened the refrigerator to see if Harrison had any chilled wine. No luck. "Hey," a familiar voice was heard.

She looked up at the familiar stranger.

"Hey Tom," she smiled. The refrigerator light falling on Y/N made her blush visible.

She grabbed a half-cut lemon placed in the egg tray.

“How have you been?" Tom asked leaning back on the kitchen counter, observing her movements.

Y/N walked towards the sink to grab herself a crystal glass hoping for it to be clean. "Just busy with work these days"

"I heard you got a job at Condé Nast, is that true?" he took a sip from his beer.

"Well, you heard right. You are looking at their new senior brand manager for digital", she said proudly.

Tom hugged her from the side she was holding a knife to cut the lemon for her gin and tonic. "That's great darling! You always wanted to work there"

Darling. The butterflies in her stomach were fluttering like the first time she met Tom.

"I saw your story the other day. You started filming your script, right?" she dropped the lemon in the glass.

"Yup, it was a long time coming," he grabbed the knife she was using and washed it without even knowing. He was so used to Y/N never washing utensils after using them and, he would always have to clean up after her.

"Congrats on that babe!" The word 'babe' just slipped out of practice.

Y/N grabbed a Bombay Sapphire standing still on the marble slab. The blue of the bottle shinning even in the dim-lit room.

"I missed you," Y/N made eye contact, screwing the cap back on. A long, silent pause.

I miss you too, so very much

She cleared her throat, "so, how long are you staying?"

"Going back Monday morning"

She opened a can of tonic water.

"Are you seeing someone?" Tom asked.

"Wouldn't you wanna know" a smirk on her face grew. "I've been out on few dates, nothing serious. What about you?"

"Met this girl online, dated for a bit but, she wanted something I couldn't give to her"

Y/N scoffed, "did she have a foot fetish or something?"

"No, Y/N. She wanted love, not my feet" they both laughed.

"On that topic..." Tom calmed himself, "...I was listening to this song a few weeks ago and, there was this line, 'the smell of your hair reminds me of her feet' and it made me think of you"

"I reckon," she took a sip of her gin and tonic.

"No, seriously, I really related to that line. No matter how many people I hook up with, it will be hard to find the type of intimacy I shared with you. I still relate to it"

"I hate going on walks alone and having faceless dreams," Y/N blurted, lacking a proper reaction.

"You're still the face of all my fantasies," Tom confessed.

None of them knew what to say next. Anything they thought of saying now included walking over the blurry line of exes to lovers.

"You look pretty"

"Classic me, had a glow up after getting my heartbroken"

"You always looked this pretty. You are beautiful," Tom assured her. The 'heartbroken part did not sit well with him. He already felt guilty for taking a job across the pond which was a great opportunity for him to grow but was only possible by severing his ties with Y/N.

It had just started snowing on Boxing Day. Tom was alone in his cold home, boiling a pot of ramen noodles. He took out his phone and snapped a picture of the burning stove with the pot on top.

Tom: *attached photo*

Tom: I come back after months and my family leaves me alone with no food

Y/N: you should add a poached egg

Tom: Thanks. I shall.

Tom: I think I made too much ramen for me

Tom: do you wanna come over and share?

Her indecision was visible by the coming and going of the gray dots. Then finally, Tom could tame his anxiety by her simple reply.

Y/N: sure.

There was a loud knock on the door. Tom put two bowls of hot ramen on the dining table and went to open the door. Behind the door, Y/N was standing with her hands inside her brown checker coat. There was dust of snow sitting on her shoulders. Her braided hair was made by the most anxious hands in town.

The door opened and, Tom’s hands flew to take Y/N in his arms. They hugged like little kids hug their parents after being away from each other, for them, an eternity. It did feel like an eternity to them too but, they hadn’t forgotten each other’s touch.

“I parked my car at the church, couldn’t find any spot here ‘cause of the snow," she pulled out.

“The snow seems to be gaining momentum.”

Y/N hummed in agreement. She took off her coat and hung it in the Holland’s coat closet.

“Come on, the ramen is getting cold,” she followed tom into the kitchen.

They sat adjacent on the wooden table in comfortable silence. Tom used chopsticks and, Y/N used a fork. Only the occasional noodles falling in the broth were heard, along with the gushing of wind.

“It’s really spicy for me,” Tom said.

“Yeah, I can see your ears turning red.”

She still remembers

Y/N raised her hand to cover her mouth while yawning.

“Since you made the food, I’ll do the dishes,” she got up, grabbed their bowls, and walked over to the sink.

Wearing the gloves, she turned to Tom, “it was quite tasty”.

Tom gave her a smile.

She spread the soap on the dishes and turned the tap on. Tom pushed his chair back to get up.

“Have you made any friends at your new job,” he jumped and sat on the counter next to Y/N.

“Yeah, sort of. Kyara works there too so, I have just made her friends my friends,” she washed his chopsticks.

“That’s good. Have you talked to Emily after the wedding? She told me they are planning on adopting.”

“They invited me over for dinner when they got the approval from the agency. Kyara made this amazing Hyderabadi biryani, it was her mum’s recipe so, it was obviously better than the restaurant”

“God! You and your love for Indian food”

Y/N removed her gloves, “I should go. Thanks for the ramen, by the way”

“Are you sure you can go out in this weather?”

“Yeah I think," she started walking out of the kitchen.

Tom grabbed her hand. “Stay”, his voice was like cotton.

Y/N turned and made contact with his pleading eyes. She moved closer to him. “Please”, he said. They both were inching in to lock their desperate lips.

Y/N did not notice when she had fallen asleep talking to Tom. Their naked bodies were covered by the white comforter. Her eyes slowly opened to a boy with brown eyes and messy hair looking at her.

“I like it when you sleep. I love watching you sleep”

She chuckled. “That’s a bit creepy, don’t you think?” She had a sleepy voice.

“You look so serene, the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I could stare at you for eons”

“But love, I'm only here till the snow settles,” she caressed his cheeks.

“Then the cold shall frost our limbs," he leaned in to kiss her.

tags: @elios-timotea

#tom holland #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland imagine #tom holland smut #tom holland x reader #tom holland fluff #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #spiderman #marvel fanfiction #marvel #spiderman x reader #spiderman x y/n #spider man #spiderman x you

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yuzukult · 4 years

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from home 04 || jjk & reader

title: from home pairing: jungkook x reader genre: richkid!jk, baker!reader, fakedating!au, fluff, angst, e2l, smut in future chapters word count: 7.4k prompt: jungkook is the youngest of five boys, the last in line to truly inherit any his parents’ money. but what if his mom suddenly cuts him off due to his current poor behavior and he’s forced to learn how it feels like to be part of the working class? a/n: so so so thankful that from home 01 has reached over 400 notes! this is a huge milestone for me so thank you all that reblogged, liked, and replied to my chapters because it means so much to me! so grateful for all of your support because i never thought any of my fics would get any attention! honestly, not my best chapter, but i have plans for from home 05 that are more exciting to write lol please let me know if you’re interested in being tagged! but also let me know if you want to be removed! taglist: @scalubera @strugglingartistno16-2 @taestannie @teresaisla @drumsofheaven @vampgguk @christiandosworld @madjammil @jungkookieyoongs @bananagguknim @shuttheelleup ← previous chapter || next chapter →

You’d never invite him over to your apartment without the company of Hoseok. So why did you ask him to come over and just him?

Jungkook is anxious. Other than the fact that you've requested for his company on a Friday night, he hasn't really spoken to you alone ever since that weekend at his parents' estate. You weren't avoiding him, at least that's what he speculates, but there wasn't much 'alone time' and he was starting to feel insecure about how you felt about your relationship.

Rephrase. Fake relationship, he means.

The brisk, heavy wind smacks his face when he steps out of his apartment, ready to be on route to your house with the address you sent over just minutes ago. Cheeks flushing crimson, he pulls his denim coat with sherpa lining closer, suddening wishing that Hyungjin was still driving him on days like this, oh how lucky Old Jungkook was.

15 minutes is what the GPS on his phone says, grateful that his mother hasn't cut off his line with the money because he honestly wouldn't have known what to do if he didn't have it. What did people use back then when they needed to go somewhere they've never been to before? He'd have to google that later. His hands are occupied, looking for warmth in his pockets.

His fingers are curled frozen by the time he reaches the front of your apartment, face pale with only the tint in his nose and cheeks. There's something swirling in his gut—whether it's gas or he's just plain nervous, he's not exactly sure, but he knows that this is the first time he's ever been to your apartment and it's not the same feeling he gets when he's at his one night stands.

Once you receive his text, the buzzer goes off, allowing him to enter into the hallway of your apartment building and how different it is compared to his is astonishing. Other than the fact that the wallpaper was tearing off and the carpets look like it's been years since someone last vacuumed it, the lights were dim, giving off a spooky aura despite Halloween being a month ago.

"Apartment 344," He reiterates to himself from your message, following the instructions underneath that had been oddly specific. "Don't go into elevator car six. Six breaks down after floor two, and five is missing a button for floor three, so only car eight works without a chance of you being stuck in it. There's a smell, so you'll just have to hold your breath."

Weird. So Elevator Eight then?

When he finally reaches your floor, he nearly faints when he walks out. It smelled like a combination of pee and weed with a sprinkle of air freshener which wasn't much help.

344. The black printed numbers are inscribed in the gold plaque that isn't real gold because it's peeling and the surface underneath it is brown. When you come to the door after he knocks, he can't help but gush at the sight of you.

Oversized hoodie and shorts with your hair tied in a low bun, strands that fall out effortlessly and frame your no-makeup face, his heart almost jerks out of his chest. It's not fair that someone so mean can be so pretty.

"Hey," You say, breathless. "Come in. I'm in the middle of cooking up dinner. Have you ever had a home cooked meal?"

He furrows his brows. "Uh, the chefs usually put something together at the estate."

"Is it even called home-cooked if you call your house an estate?"

"Well—" You wave him off, stepping aside for him to enter. "Welcome to my humble abode."

Your apartment is you in a version of a place. Outside entering in, he thinks it's intimidating and tends to throw people off, with the impression that it's not somewhere you'd want to be at. Yet your home itself— he finds that the confined space between where the TV sits on the shelf, books residing in the cubes beneath, across from where a grey love-seat couch is placed is a resemblance of serenity. The kitchen is relatively small, even smaller than his current studio apartment, but everything about it here feels cosy. "It's nice," He hums in content, slipping off his jacket to hang on the coat rack nearby. "I never thought your place would be so... comfortable."

"What'd you think it was going to be? A white void?" Well, you're not wrong, but he fears you so he figured it was best to not respond to that. "So... what are you cooking?"

"Couple things, actually. I even cooked some rice. What did you usually eat when you were living at home— I mean, the estate?" Leading him into the kitchen, which didn't really need much guidance with the short square footage of the apartment, he still can't believe that this place is your own. "American food? Italian? Just generally European? Our chef is from England, and studied somewhere in France. Not much Korean, if I'm being honest."

"Then... is it even home cooked? Take a seat."

He sits at the little round table centered in the middle of the kitchen, a couple recipe books stacked to the side, just enough room for the two of you to work with. "I guess not. You never answered my question, what did you make?"

"Mm... Kimchi Jjigae, bulgogi, and some stir fried veggies. I even baked something for dessert."

Something about this view of you working over the stove, plating the food and side dishes onto the table that makes it feel so domestic. He likes you like this—clear faced without trying so hard, despite thinking how beautiful you looked during the charity event, this felt refreshing.

"Alright," You cheer, handing him a bowl of rice and a pair of chopsticks. "Let's dig in."

"Can I ask you something?" You're in the midst of putting some beef into his serving before looking up. "What is it?"

"Why... Are you being so nice to me? I haven't heard a jab since I got here. And why did you invite me over? Not even Hoseok joining in, just us two. If I didn't know any better, I'd think that you were trying to avoid me ever since you got to see what it was like to be in my family but then you asked me to come over. I’m a little confused."

Chewing on your bottom lip, your shoulders slouch as you drop your body back against the seat. "Honestly?" He nods. "I've been putting you in a weird spot. I don't like you because you have money, look down on other people who don't have those opportunities, and to be fair, you're very ignorant to this life stuff. You almost bought something from the Supreme drop until Hoseok stole your phone away from you." Fiddling with the kimchi sitting in it's plate, you poke at it with your chopsticks. "You took me back to your family house but it wasn't a house. You called it an estate then you proceeded to show me that you have no real relationship with your brothers. I get why you'd come to those events drunk, and I felt bad."

He scoffs. "So you pitied me."

"Well— no, I just... I just wanted you to know the feeling of home. What home really feels like, and how it's a place you find yourself wanting to come back to. I'm trying somewhat to show it through food—" You gesture the meal that you spent hours on. "—and possibly other ways. I'm not pitying you, I just don't think it's fair."

Jungkook's face softens. "You... don't think it's fair for me. You've always said things aren't fair for you, how I get all these things and I'm provided with so many advantages and now... you're siding with the rich?"

"No, not siding with the rich. Siding with you, Jeon Jungkook. Or, Kookie, whatever your sister-in-law calls you." He can’t help but laugh, as embarrassing as the nickname is to him because he’s too elated that you see him in a different light now. Maybe Hoseok was right. Learning a thing or two from you would be beneficial for him, if anything.

“Here— have some more of this,” You say before hauling a load of veggies into his bowl and he can only smile at the gesture.

“So,” Jungkook begins, finishing washing the last dish in the sink. Truth be told, he offered because you so kindly prepared a delicious dinner for him, but he needed guidance on how to actually do the chore. “What’s the dessert?”

It’s cute— the way you squirt the bottle of dish soap into the sponge in his hands, teaching him how to properly clean after himself. He feels like a baby being taught how to do the basic life tasks, low-key wishing that he could just ask Hana or Nayeon to do it instead— but it’s you beside him, telling him he needs to thoroughly scrub in order to get the tough grease stains out. He’d say, “how can you tell if it’s still greasy?” and despite you rolling your eyes and responding back, “by touching it?” something about tonight feels different than when you do it at the grocery store.

“Cinnamon rolls!” There’s a sparkle in your eye, exuberant about getting a target to fixate on. “I can pop it back in the oven for a couple minutes to get it all warm again.”

He agrees, wiping his hand off on a rag hanging by the sink, watching as you eagerly pop two buns on a tray, slipping it into the pre-heated oven. “I want you to try the things I bake from scratch... since you’re kind of investing in me.”

“It’s an exchange, more like I’m paying you.”

You grumble, rubbing your face in your hands. “No, no, no, don’t just give me money, Jungkook. If anything includes you putting cash of any form into my palms, it means you’re investing in me because you believe in me.”

Jungkook frowns. “But I do believe in you. Why do I have to keep saying that? You have the characteristics of a trustworthy person. Why else would I have asked you to be my girlfriend?”

“Pretend girlfriend,” you rectify, pointing in his direction, “... you chose me to be your pretend girlfriend. Even so, what if I’m a bad baker?”

A chortle escapes from Jungkook’s lips, shaking his head in disbelief. “OK, ok. Keep baking me goods. If in the end, I think you’re a horrible baker, I won’t ‘invest’ in your business, but I’ll invest in you instead. You keep the money. Do whatever you please with it, even if it means opening a really bad bakery. You’re helping me out here by fake dating me. My father has already personally called me on four occasions, asking when we’re visiting again.”

There it sits. The cinnamon bun. Or roll. Whichever it is— but there you are, directly leaning against the table across from him, eyes watching him attentively. Thoughts start running in his mind like; what if it actually tastes horrific like the possibility you mentioned? What would he do then? You both had already gone as far as meeting his family, he’s too deep in.

“Stop thinking and just eat.” You say discernibly, impatient with his indecisiveness. Using the fork you provided, he pierces through the the pastry and the cut is buttery smooth, requiring no effort. When he brings it to his mouth, the moment it touches the tip of his tongue, it practically melts, dissolving in contact with his saliva, awakening up his taste buds. It’s sweet, the cinnamon with the brown sugar and butter, yet not overwhelming enough to turn it away because something about it just brings life into you again.

His mouth parts open, gaping in awe. “Oh my god,” he mutters with his cheeks full of the pastry, “W-what, oh my god. Did you drug me or something? Because there’s no way it tastes that good.”

“No— but then I made a home-made yeast dough where I added some more ingredients to transform it into an enriched dough, and that contributes to it’s soft interior with a more fragile crumb. Then the filling, I brushed on butter after rolling the dough out to a rectangle—“

“I-I don’t need the details,” Jungkook stutters with a nervous laugh but you were going to go off for hours if he hadn’t stopped you. “I think if all the things you make taste just as good as this, I’m impressed. You’ve sold me. But... I have to ask, why a bakery? I looked up what it means to be someone in your field with your degree and people go off to do product development, maybe research in processed foods— this isn’t necessarily close to being a baker. I honestly don’t know why my father asked you to take part of the restaurant chain he’s planning on building.”

“Oh,” Pursing up your lips you tap your fingers against the wooden table, heaving out a sigh. “I’m surprised you did some research.”

“Well, you taught me to do some extensive exploration before I invest in something.” He shoots back.

“I wanted to go to culinary school, simple as that. I told you, I love Guy Fieri and wouldn’t it be crazy if he went to my bakery and put me on his show?” Jungkook is keeping this in his back pocket for future teasing, but you seem so dazed when you talk about your dreams that he has to refrain himself. “But I couldn’t just go to culinary school, no, my parents would kill me. So, I chose something as close as possible and so here I am. I should get into product development, maybe I can be part of something that could be preserved and easily accessible to help feed third world countries but— I don’t know how long I’d be able to sit in a lab for. I want to make people happy, see them walk through the front doors and hear the bell ring along with their footsteps, see their faces lit up when they eat what I made.”

There’s a lot of things he can point out in your expression when you talk about your dreams, them being how your eyes become the pools of chocolate cupcakes, swirling dark and sweet, and how your lips look so pillowy pink like a fluffy buttercream frosting. Within your voice, there’s so much certainty that holds it, credence along with each syllable you sing, words rising like the yeast in bread. Wholeheartedly, he wants to back you up on your aspirations, solely from the way you’ve sold them but at the same time, he feels this green-eyed envious being within him that wishes he had something to be equally as passionate about.

Money can only be ardor for so long, an inanimate object that can eventually lose its meaning if the world goes to shreds. It’s value will be there when emphasized but what if it didn’t exist? What did Jungkook like?

It’s a constant battle he finds himself placed in, especially when he absentmindedly scans the groceries for the customers, reiterating the same phrases every couple minutes with a new total tailing behind it. His uniform fits too well these days, stability making a name-tag on the chest pocket of his apron, and he’s not sure what to make of it.

He has an ivy league degree in international business, but what does he do with it? Currently, he’s asking customers how their day was, what the end price of their shopping run is, and hoping the rest of their day is well. Four years grinding hard at a prestigious university and for what?

He used to look down on people like you and Hoseok, with a belief that their placement in the supermarket was a controllable decision on their part, but visually seeing and hearing the other employees speak about their struggles of the inability to access higher education or finding difficulty in providing for their families so they throw away their dreams for a daily life in the deli section— he wants more because he’s able to, and he doesn’t want it given to him.

Yet, Jungkook still doesn’t have a dream. And according to you, he doesn’t have a home either.

Obviously, Jungkook has been through many flings. He's even said so himself and the women who have stirred up scandals on media outlets are evidence of it but never in your life did you think that you'd find yourself in this position, blankly staring at a girl weeping in front of you as you're in the midst of restocking laundry detergent onto one of the shelves in the middle of an aisle.

"He's supposed to love me," She bawls, eyes swollen from her crying previously. The girl is barely a couple inches shorter than you with long, straight black hair that stretches down to her lower back, waist so small you could wrap your hands around her. "Jungkook told me that I was the only girl for him and nobody else. So who are you? What'd you do? What's so great about you?"

"Uh, beats me," Rubbing the back of your neck in consternation, you're not sure what to do. There's about a handful of these supermarkets in Seoul alone, so how did she even find which one you worked at? "Um... Have you talked to him about this?"

"N-N-No," The pretty girl stutters, lips quivering. "I went to the estate and they kicked me out, said he doesn't live there anymore but I think they're lying to me."

"Jungkook doesn't live there anymore." You confirm, typing something into your price gun. "He moved out into the city."

"H-He did?" She retorts, eyes glimmering in hope. "That means they didn't lie to me just to kick me to the curb. He really moved out, he's not living there anymore?" You nod, glancing up at the girl who is supposedly Jungkook's ex-girlfriend or in his eyes, one late night affair. She really fits his ideal type—one that you've accidentally discovered when you came across an article of his on one of those gossip magazines... that you googled. Nonetheless, you learn that he's into girls like her—skinny, long straight hair, feminine with a soft, high-pitched voice. Nothing wrong with those things, you just observed that none of those things are you.

"Maeri?" Why does that name sound familiar?

Jungkook rushes his way down the aisle to stand by your side, gaze immediately glued onto you. "Hey, you alright? Did she say or do anything to you?"

"No," You respond, blinking rapidly at his sudden action. There's a girl who's crying her eyes out right in front of him and yet he's asking if you were okay? "But she claims to be your current girlfriend or ex—whatever it was, I don't remember. Kind of your problem and somehow I'm roped into this."

"And you picked her? Even though she speaks to you like that?" Maeri whimpers, nose pink and lips swelling. "She doesn't even treat you the way that I do. I can't understand why you would just drop us and pick her!"

"Maeri," He says, voice soft and gentle, completely different from what you're used to. Jungkook leans over, hand flatly pressed against her mid-back, rubbing soothingly to calm her nerves. "You're also my dad's assistant. It would've never worked out. He would've found out what we were up to and be completely against it." So that's why the name sounded so familiar, Jungkook's dad requested him to make an appointment with him through his assistant, Maeri.

... Question is, why would he do something so risky and get involved with his dad's personal assistant?

"B-B-But..."

"Listen," You quickly interject, dropping the price gun onto the car where the array of laundry detergent bottles sit. "This feels like a private conversation. You can finish this after you talk with her, I'll just find something else to do."

"Wait—" But before Jungkook could even grab you, Maeri already has her grasp tightened around his wrists, pulling him in close. "Jungkook, don't go. Talk to me, please?" He sighs when he sees you don't even glance back.

It's a bit infuriating, you think, to hear some girl complain about how you're not worthy enough for a guy that you'd previously thought wasn't even good enough for you. You were somewhat decently looking, right? Or so, that's what you thought.

"You good?" Hoseok interrupts your thoughts, brows furrowed in confusion. "Seem kinda lost there."

You hum, resuming back to stacking up the apples in the produce section because Jungkook was doing your task instead due to the incident. Truth be told, you hated here in produce, because since you first stepped foot into this section, six old women had already tried starting small talk. But anything to get out of that conversation between him and Maeri. "Well, I just saw Kim Maeri over there with boogers dripping from her nose because Jeon Jungkook suddenly has new arm candy."

Rolling your eyes, you threaten to throw the apple in your hand at him. "Not arm candy. Girlfriend."

"Ohhhh," Hoseok teases, hands slipping into the front pocket of his apron. "Not arm candy but rather girlfriend. Not so fake anymore? So, who confessed first? You or our clueless Kook?"

"Hoseok, not in the mood. I just dealt with some weird girl crying over a guy I'm not even really dating, weeping on for twenty minutes about how I'm not good enough for him."

"Why? Are you sad because you think it's somewhat true?"

Your glare nearly kills him. "No, but it's not easy to hear. I mean—he's this guy who doesn't even know what to prioritize in his spendings, can't even properly do his laundry without dying some of his whites, and he doesn't know how to clean after himself. And yet she thinks he's too good for me?" Scoffing in disbelief, you slam an apple onto the pile and Hoseok grimaces, hand on your wrist. "Please don't bruise the apples."

You sigh and he lets go of his grip. "Sorry. But am I that mean?"

"No, no, don't say it like that, of course you're not. Sure, you sound sorta insensitive sometimes but you mean well. Or else Jungkook and I wouldn't willingly spend time with you, right?"

"I'm your timesheet approver and Jungkook is using me to get back at his parents. I don't know about that."

Hoseok rolls his eyes, handing you the apples from the inventory cart as you continue to organize them onto each other. "If that's the case, I wouldn't actually help you out when we're not at work. You don't have enough authority here for me to kiss your ass my way up for a promotion here. And Jungkook— although, true, yes, he's asking that from you but he wouldn't just willingly see you or try to spend time with you outside of work. Stop being so insecure because some pretty girl came by."

"Uh, Hey." Jungkook appears out of thin air, startling both you and Hoseok. "I... restocked the detergent like you asked. I can take over this if you'd like, I know you don't really like working in the produce section because the grandmas like to start conversations up with you."

A smile tugs on the edges of Hoseok's lips, suggestively eyeing you before stepping back. "I'm gonna go find myself elsewhere..." Then he jolts before you can get a word in.

"I'm good," Turning back to the pyramid of fruits, you're content with how it looks so far yet Jungkook doesn't seem to share the same pleasant expression. "I'm almost done anyways."

"She's not... we've never dated," He says, swallowing his nerves. In all honesty, he's unsure why he feels the need to justify his relationship with her and elaborate the story behind it, but he gives into the urges nonetheless. "Just a fling. We slept with each other a couple times because I liked the rush it gave me, knowing that if my dad knew I slept with his favorite assistant of all time, I'd be done for."

Silent and brushing your hands off from the debris, you avoid chiming into his story. Was he telling this to you because you’re his supervisor or because of the weird relationship that’s going on between the two of you? “Uh, it’s fine. It happens. Wasn’t necessarily your fault, it was unavoidable. At least that over with, right?”

Jungkook scratches the back of his head quietly, the ponytail on his head bouncing slightly. “About that... there’s an event this weekend.” After brushing over the details, you don’t say much, striving to finish the pyramid of apples, Jungkook assisting by taking over Hoseok’s spot. “I have a question.”

“What’s up?” You don’t shift your attention away from the red fruit.

He clears his throat. “Are you and Hoseok a thing?” Letting out an airy laugh, your eyes finally meet his. “Of course not. He’s just a very involved and caring friend. Nothing more, and he isn’t really my type. Plus, I’m sure he’s not over Hyeri.”

Jungkook nods, pulling his lips into a straight line because he’s trying to hold back a smile. You and Hoseok were not a thing, which meant that there was one thing less he didn’t have to worry about.

Maeri found you through the instruction of Mr. Jeon; he said that his wife had mentioned your current employment at two of her chains and this was her second attempt after wailing over at the coffee shop, hoping that the second location was a charm. Meeting Jungkook there was really a coincidence, in all fairness, because apparently Mr. Jeon didn’t say anything about Jungkook being there—his main target had been you.

“He wants you to come with me to another event... but it requires some travel.” Jungkook told you, feeling a bit guilty because you had just spent a weekend at his parents estate barely a couple days ago. This means begging your supervisor at the supermarket and the café to let you call off for the next week. Hopefully in the end it’s all worth it...

When Jungkook says travel, this is not what you thought it was going to be.

“We can either take the private plane there with my family or ride the train.” You don’t hesitate to pick the latter option, evading the potential family argument that would blossom in seconds if you were to be stuck in a cabin full of the Jeons.

You don’t recognize the awkward position you put Jungkook in until you’re standing on the platform, waiting for your train’s arrival with a duffle bag in hand, body hidden underneath a heavy winter coat. “Oh. Have you ever rode on the train before?” He shakes his head ‘no’ and you frown. Maybe you should’ve taken the plane there, Jungkook would’ve been more comfortable. And as if he read your thoughts, he nudges you with his elbows, hands dug into the pockets of his jacket. “Since you’re popping my train cherry, take it easy on me, will you?’

He’s perhaps a little funny, but you’re not going to cave into that.

Busan— is what your ticket says, from Seoul to Busan. Honestly, you had never been in Busan before but you recall Jungkook saying that it was his birthplace and he’d be more than happy to guide you through the nooks and cranny of the largest port city in South Korea.

Once you reach the city, it’s completely different from Seoul. The buildings are condensed, there’s so many markets yet at the same time, there’s just as many people there are in Seoul. Hyungjin is holding a sign that says, “Jeon Jungkook,” written on it in bold letters, bowing when he sees your fake-boyfriend, just as eager as Jungkook. “I’m glad they asked you to pick me up again.”

“Well, I requested it, Mr. Jeon.”

“Oh please, I’m sure you didn’t. You hated having to drive me home whenever I was partying.”

Hyungjin shakes his head with a grin plastered on his face. “I did, perhaps. However you are a new man now with a very intelligent woman by your side, so I can almost guarantee that you’ve changed. Much more likable, Mr. Jeon. Please, let me take you to your hotel.”

You nearly have a nosebleed just from the view from your room.

The sea is beautiful, despite the grey clouds that hover the water from the colder weather but the charm could never be hidden. Apparently, the hotel that Jungkook’s parents had booked for the two of you was a 5-star hotel, spas, pools, restaurants and everything included and some that you can see from your balcony.

“Holy shit, Jungkook, is there where you grew up?”

“No, not in a hotel.” He laughs, watching as you move around the room like a little kid to see every trinket the hotel had to offer. “My grandparents’ house is just down the road, and I’m sure they want to meet you. We can do some stuff beforehand and meet them for a late lunch with the rest of the family. How’s that sound?”

Jungkook is your tour guide for the day— taking you to the market where they sell merchandise with idols faces on it, snacks, and so on. He takes you to see the Gamcheon Culture Village, a place where homes are condensed that are splatters of the rainbow and filled with painted murals. It’s a sight for sore eyes, and everything is just a bit more enjoyable with a tall little kid standing by your side.

He takes you to the Haeundae Beach, where a story he tells is a place he recalls biking with brothers when he lived there during the summers. Once they were a bit older and found interest in girls, he stopped going since the only thing he looked forward to was spending time with his siblings there.

When you meet his grandparents at their humble home, his brothers are already there with his parents, paying their respects and doing their ‘routine’ to visit them at least once a month, apparently. You assumed the family would have neglected their grandparents with the presence of wealth, but it was nice to see that his parents still kept their roots.

“This is Jungkook’s girlfriend?” His grandma says in a mixture awe and disbelief, glancing back at his mother and you. “I’m so glad, he hasn’t been here to visit me in a long time. Did you convince him?”

You shake your head in response, bending down to sit across from her. “No, he asked if I’d like to come.”

“He wants to introduce his pretty girlfriend to his grandparents, of course! Why else?”

From the corner, Jungkook can see Jongseok twitching in annoyance at the attention you were gaining from their grandparents, complimenting while pinching your cheeks, pleased with who Jungkook had ended up with. “Smart and beautiful, will you wed her soon or else someone else sweeps her off her feet?”

“I’ll try,” Jungkook says with uncertainty, rubbing the back of his neck anxiously. “It’s really up to her though.”

“Then make it so that she can’t say no!” His grandfather chimes in.

Lunch had been nice with his family; it had been a lot tamer than the conversations at the dinner table in the Jeon’s. For one, it seemed like if anyone had anything bad to say, they refrained themselves from doing so in respect for their frail grandparents.

Back at the hotel, you stand with your arms rested against the rail of the balcony, your hair blows with the wind, strands getting into your face as you attempt to push them away, only for Jungkook to lean in, gently brushing them out your way. He’s close— so close that you can feel his breathing against your cheek and you don’t realize you’ve been holding your breath when you exhale after he steps back. “There,” he grins, proud of his work, “looks good.” Was he talking about how he completed the task well or that you looked good?

“It’s... really nice here, Jungkook.” If it weren’t for this arrangement, you never would’ve found the time or money to come here unexpectedly, especially with how much money you were trying to save to open up the bakery. Enjoying the finer things in life proved burdensome since one of the things on the list of adulting was knowing what your priorities were. “I don’t think I would’ve gotten the chance to explore Busan if it weren’t for you.”

“You... you should take a break every now and then,” Jungkook suggests, leaning beside you. Everything about the sea at night is striking; the gusts of wind from the waves, the lights at the pool from the hotel, the sky, sparkling with stars from above that causes a glimmer in your eyes, swirls of mocha full of wonder and excitement. “You overwork yourself to death. You’re completely burnt out. Yet at the same time you keep making time for Hoseok and I when what you really need is a spa night.”

“It’s... it’s not that easy,” You frown. “I just have so much to do.”

“I told you, let me take care of you. If I can prove to my family that I’m capable, I get the money back. I can pay you for all the things you’ve done for me, all the things you’ve taught me, everything. You need to enjoy your life before you’re old and wrinkly because by then, you won’t have the energy to do the things you want to anymore.”

“Jungkook—“

“No, let me teach you something this time around. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I think I know everything now, I just... with chilling and relaxing, I think you should let me take it from here.”

“I just—“ Cupping your cheeks in his hands, he forces you to face him, pressing them together for your lips to purse up. “No arguments. No disagreeing with me, no more of that. I need you to listen to me for once and not tell me what to do.”

Assertive Jungkook is an inconsistent version of him that’s usually feeble in comparison to you. But something about Busan’s air and water gives him the confidence he needs to stand up to you for once, and it makes your heart skip a beat. You nod in compliance, caving into what he demands. His eyes shift, trailing from the bridge of your nose to the tip, oh how he wants to give it a peck, but once they reach your lips, he realizes that’s what he really wants.

He swallows, releasing some pressure off of his hands as you survey his distinct expression. “Jungkook, are you—” hastily, he pulls your jaw toward him, lips crashing into yours and it’s more than he expects. He swore in a not dramatic way that it felt like there were fireworks being set off behind him.

Noticing what he’d done, he quickly lets go, hands dropping at his side. “I’m sorry, I just, I couldn’t help myself but I know I said boundaries—”

Hands flying up, your thumb brushes against the soft flesh of his cheeks, hopping onto the tip of your toes, reaching up to meet as much of his height as you could, eyes hooded with your breath fanning his lips. Fingers slipping to the back of his neck, you tug him down, gingerly pushing your lips against his.

It’s gentle— the kind of kiss that Jungkook isn’t familiar with when he comes across his flings, but the way you ease your way into his parted lips and how your tongue brushes against his, it makes him feel hazy, drunk on your scent. His hands find purchase on your waist, tugging your hips to rest on his as your fingers run through his luscious hair. The length is something you’ve grown to love, a huge step from forcing him to tie it back because it hadn’t been ‘professional’ enough. And here you are, making out with your trainee on the balcony of your shared hotel room. He lets you lead the kiss momentarily before you break away, foreheads against each other, you’re both panting with tinted cheeks. “Don’t hold yourself back, please,” you beg in a whisper, completely intoxicated by everything radiating off him.

Reaching down your thighs, he puts those muscles to use when he grabs onto them, wrapping your legs around his frame as you yelp, arms immediately hugging around his shoulders. He slides the balcony door shut with his feet, dropping you onto the bed, falling along in unison.

There’s a smile upon his lips, a genuine one filled with admiration. Just when he’s leaning closer to you for a second round, there’s a knock on the door. Jungkook groans, dropping his face into the crook of your neck as laughter erupts from your chest. “Go get the door.”

“Whoever it is, they just ruined this moment.” He grunts, untangling your legs from his waist to open the door.

Jongseok is leaned up against the door frame, eying his younger brother suggestively. “What were you doing?”

“None of your business,” Jungkook hisses in return. He doesn’t need to say it though because Jongseok knew from his sibling’s disheveled locks, swollen lips, flushed cheeks and labored breathing. Jongseok wasn’t going to look, but he could already tell that Jungkook was supporting a boner in those sweatpants.

“Hm,” Jongseok hums, narrowing his gaze. “Alright then. Stopped by to tell you that mother wants us to have dinner with family tonight in about 30 minutes. Should be enough time for you to finish, right? How long does 3 pumps take?”

“Get out!” He responds through his gritted teeth, slamming the door on him.

Quickly standing up, you brush your clothes off and fix your hair in the mirror. “We should get ready to head out, I don’t want your mom to wait on us.”

“You sure? I mean we don’t have to go—“

“I still need to impress your parents too, right?” Hand pressed against his chest, he calms down at your touch and nods in conformity. “Alright then.”

When the two of you return from the trip, you don’t mention anything about the kiss and what it would’ve led to. Fearing that you’d back out from the agreement, Jungkook doesn’t bring it up either, despite having so many questions running through his head, discovering that there’s a small chance that he’s fallen for you.

Hoseok throws something in Jungkook’s direction, a confused expression on his face when he catches in his hands yet his body doesn’t move from the couch. “What’s this for?” He asks, opening his cupped hands to see a shiny gold key.

“That’s my apartment key,” Hoseok responds calmly, shuffling through some letters that sit on his counter. “For whenever you want to come over.”

In the past month, he found himself gravitating toward not just you, but Hoseok as well, a friendship blooming from being acquaintances. Reminiscing to a time where they would only say ‘hi’ in passing, mostly for politeness because their parents had worked together before, there had never been a real bond between the two of them. And ever since he started working at the market, their friendship had escalated to hanging out with each other on the weekends or any available free-time they had.

Jungkook has friends now.

Real friends, he notes. Ones he never thought he had, ones he had only ever dreamed of, and ones that he didn’t have to bribe for them to become. He admits that whatever he has with you is a bit rocky and unknown, but after having that home-cooked dinner with you that night, he feels like you’re opening up to him.

An action from you that he rightfully earned, he likes to repeat to himself, because he can’t believe he’s able to obtain relationships with people that didn’t include money.

“You’re giving this to me? You trust me with it?”

“Well, yeah,” Hoseok nets his brows in confusion, making his way to sit beside the other male on the couch, switching his PlayStation 5 on, handing Jungkook a controller as he stares dumbfoundedly. “You come here almost every weekend, or well, recently almost every other day since I got the PS5. You’re a bro now, we’re not just some dudes that acknowledge each other at parties anymore.”

Jungkook feels like he’s soaring. His feet are hovering in the air, and his heart feels light. If this is what it feels like to have a friend who cares and enjoys spending time with, he doesn’t need to get high and wasted to obtain that feeling anymore.

“Mom, I’m not really in the mood to come back so soon.” You sigh, fingers raking through your drenched locks. It’s supposed to be a relaxing Friday night in; Jungkook bringing the pizza with wings and Hoseok grabbing the beers from the supermarket when he finishes his shift tonight. Figuring that you had some time, you’d give yourself a relaxing shower, knowing damn well you were going to need some peace and quiet temporarily with two rowdy boys coming later.

“Please,” She begs, attempting to raise her voice in a baby-ing manner. “Your sister said she was coming tomorrow morning. I would love to get the family back together. And you said so yourself last week, you’re free this weekend!” You’re starting to regret calling your mom with life updates.

The door swings open, the sight of Jungkook hauling in bags and a box in his hand. “Jeon, you can put it on the coffee table,” Pointing in the living room, he nods as you trail behind him. “You can move the books off the table and put it by the TV.”

“Jeon?” Your mom reiterates, suddenly intrigued by whomever you were at your apartment with. “Who is Jeon?” Ignoring her, you press the phone against your shoulder and cheek, freeing your hands in attempt to help Jungkook clear out the table. “Oh, Jungkook, can you close the door? It’s cold for some reason.”

“Jungkook?” She gasps the name into the phone, squealing afterwards. “You have a boyfriend and you didn’t tell me?”

“What?” You reply sharply, Jungkook coming back from your request, brows knitted in confusion. “Who’s on the phone?” He mouths, you retort, “my mom” back faintly.

“I heard you calling some guy named Jungkook. It’s just him in your apartment alone, isn’t it? You wouldn’t have some guy with you unless he’s your boyfriend, right? Oh my god, I thought you were going to be alone forever—” She yammers on, not even taking a second to breathe. “You know what? Bring him tomorrow. Don’t say no, I’m not taking ‘no’ for an answer. I’m letting your dad and siblings know. Goodnight, dear! Sleep well! Tell Jungkook I said hi!” And with that, she hangs up.

Throwing your phone on the couch, you grumble, hands rubbing your face. “I’m assuming she thinks I’m your boyfriend?”

“Yeah,” you exhale, plummeting your body onto the couch. “As much as I don’t want to do this, she’s going to attack me nonstop if I don’t bring you. Are you free tomorrow? Would you... like to meet my family? If not— it’s totally fine, I mean we’re not even really dating anyways and—“

“Of course,” He grins, settling down beside you. “This doesn’t have to just apply to my parents, you know. I am your boyfriend, not just you being my girlfriend.”

In all honesty, he finds this as an opening. Ever since your trip to Busan, he couldn’t help but see you differently out of the blue. He admits, maybe right now isn’t necessarily the best time for him to start a relationship, especially one where a business deal is involved, but he can’t help it. Something about you, since that night, he saw you underneath those lights and you’re not the same mean supervisor that he thought you’d been.

And don’t even get him started on the way you kiss.

#jeon jungkook #jungkook #jungkook smut #bts #bts smut #jungkook x reader #gyukultfics

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bonny-kookoo · 4 years

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Carrots and Whiskers (JJK x Reader) 💜🔞🐾

🥕 Pairing: Rabbit!Jungkook x Wolf!Reader

🥕 Genre: Hybrid AU, fluff, smut because why not amirite-

🥕 Warnings: stereotyping, mild mentions of past bullying, fluff, oh god they’re so cute, Dom!Jungkook despite being technically food for Sub!Reader, Dirty talk, it’s sweet though he ain’t calling his baby a hoe don’t worry, unprotected sex because in this hybrid universe they’re unable to conceive due to their different species, please keep that in mind thank you, sweet sweet lovemaking, aftercare, buff boi JK, Big dick JK but what’s new I guess, yeah I’m done now

🥕 Summary: He’s the prey and she’s the predator. So why does she feel like the roles are reversed?

This is a oneshot! If you have any ideas for future content in this universe, feel free to send in asks or requests!

A reputation could easily define your entire life it it was bad enough.

Both sides knew this; Jeon Jungkook, being depicted as the cowardly prey hybrid he was, and Y/N, the bad bad wolf with always malicious intentions. However, none of these depictions were actually true.

Jeon Jungkook was an actually pretty rough and brave young man, never really backing down from a challenge, uncaring on who was in front of him. He got into trouble often as a kid, as a teenager, and now as a young adult.

Y/N was soft spoken, a caring yet quiet hybrid who liked to stay hidden, the spotlight being more of a fear than a goal for her. She loved the simple things in life, liked to be by herself or surrounded by people she trusted and loved.

And she also got a major crush on the bunny in her art and music class.

It was quite cliche really, yet it also wasn't- it was as if she was stuck in a bad joke, never to make it to the punchline. She knew for a fact that he probably didn't even knew who she was, and the worst part about it was that she couldn't even blame him. She loved to not be seen, after all.

"Uhm, excuse me?" Said the voice, forcefully hitting her as she looked up, her own eyes meeting the big brown orbs of-

wait.

"I eh, we're supposed to choose partners for this project, and I know for a fact that you can draw so eh, wanna be partners?" He asked, and she simply stared. Was he- talking to her? "I mean, Its okay if you don't want to-" He started, the squirrel hybrid girl behind him already perking up at her chance, making her swallow a bit.

"N-no, I uhm.. I'd like that." She squeezed out, voice quiet, but he thankfully still heard her. He smiled, brightly and so awfully cliche as his bunny-like teeth showed, sitting down next to her as he pulled out his sketches. "So uh, what did you have in mind.?" She quietly asked, and he talked away, as if he'd always known her.

"Well since we weren't given much other than the theme and colors, I made some small sketches. You know, I get Ideas that are pretty neat sometimes but then I forget them easily, so I have to draw or write them down right away, otherwise I'll wanna bite my own ass later on." He rambled on, gently moving the rough sketches towards her, his eyes watching her as she looked at them, carefully studying his lines.

"This- this one would fit, I think.." She mumbled, tapping on one of his more detailed drawings. He grinned again, nodding, seemingly in agreement. He attempted to say something as the bell rang, students around them both scrambling up to get out as soon as possible, either to catch a bus or to drive home on their bikes.

"Hey do you-" He stumbled, his foot catching on a stray chair as he almost fell. "Do you wanna meet up on the weekend? That way we can finish faster, you know, time to sleep in class." He said, and she simply nodded, until he held his hand out. Her head tilted to the side, ears flopping a bit as he chuckled, mumbling. "cute. Your phone, so I can give you my number?" He explained, and she blushed, stepping back a bit as she placed her bag down on the table next to her, pulling out her phone, charms on the device dangling, making him smile. She really was adorable. "Alright." He said as he took it after she'd opened the phone app, his fingers typing away, before he gave it back to her. "Do you take the bus home?" He asked, and she nodded. "Oh really? I thought the pink bike outside was yours actually." He chatted away as she walked next to him, now a bit shy.

"I actually.. well, I can't, you know, ride a bike, so.." She mumbled, and he laughed for a moment, until he went quiet, sensing that she was serious.

"I eh, I could you know, teach you, if you want?" He asked as he unlocked his own bike. "I mean, not now but like, this weekend?" He asked, and she looked a bit hesitant. "I mean, you don't have to. But I promise I won't let you get hurt." It seemed odd maybe, for a prey hybrid to say that to a predator, but for her, it seemed like the most cheesy and romantic thing she'd ever heard. So she smiled, and nodded. "I uhm.. I think your bus left-" He pointed out, making her ears droop as she watched the vehicle drive off without her. "I can bring you home. It's kind of my fault you missed it, after all." He said, scratching the back of his neck as he suddenly rumbled in his backpack, pulling out a zip hoodie, before folding it, and placing it on the bag of his bike. "My'lady." He offered, and she giggled, making his ears flinch in excitement.

She'd been unaware of him for long enough, and after a talk with his fellow friend Taehyung, he'd decided to finally act on his interest in her. Even though he did get some odd looks from his classmate Jimin, he didn't care about what she was- he cared more about who. Her drawings were always so detailed in a way that would show exactly what she'd though while creating each line, something he always found remarkable. She also had a talent for photography, a hobby he had for himself as well.

"Hold on tight okay?" He said, and she nodded, her arms moving around his waist, redness creeping onto her cheeks as she felt his toned body underneath his thin shirt and loose jean jacket. She held a bit tighter as he finally pushed the bike forward, paddling at a decent pace that made her hair flow a bit with the wind. She couldn't help but enjoy the moment; the way his smell calmed her, the scenery around her, and the fact that it seemed like everything was finally working out for her.

"I'm gonna let go now and you'll just-" He started, but she suddenly grew anxious, her wide eyes immediately finding his.

"no no don't let go I'm gonna fall-" She scrambled out, scared as he simply laughed, one hand on her back as he kept the other on the bike for now.

"I promised, didnt I?" He hummed into her ear, and she blushed at the gentle tone of his voice. He was everything she never thought a prey hybrid would be; he was cunning, brave, and confident in himself. He wasn't after attention at all, simply trying to live his life yet he pulled everyones gaze on himself wherever he went simply by nature. His ears seemed too soft to be legal in her opinion, black and white tuft of fur that was his tail seemingly completely out of place; the rest of his body was toned. It showed that he knew how to take care of himself, it underlined the way he held himself wherever he went.

He was the complete opposite of her it seemed.

She liked to hide in oversized clothing, hybrid features the only thing really giving away that she wasn't just a mouse in disguise.

To him however, it was an entirely different story.

She was so sweet, always trying to help, and always trying to not be a burden. She had so much talent, a unique way of seeing the world, and a gentle way of always looking out for others. It also didn't ease his crush on her that she was absolutely beautiful in his eyes; shorter in statue than him, surprisingly, but he was pretty tall for a rabbit hybrid, he had to admit. His mother had once told him about the different subspecies of wolves when she'd noticed his crush on the girl; her best friend having been a wolf hybrid as well when she'd still been in school. Apparently there were different subtypes for them; alphas, betas and omegas. He guessed that the girl on his bike was an omega, maybe, as it would explain all her characteristics.

"You're doing so great!" He said, bunny smile making her feel more confident as she noticed he only held her by her back; she was actually riding a bike. "See? You can do it!" He happily exclaimed as he helped her off, seat a bit high for her to get down herself. "Lets sit down there and exchange some sketches, yeah?" He offered, and she nodded with a smile, walking next to him as they both sat down on the grass, after Jungkook had put down a small blanket he'd taken with him. "Okay, hit me." He playfully shot her way, as she pulled out her sketchbook, simply sliding it towards him as he opened it, looking through the pages she'd opened for him. "Uah, these are great! I'd use a bit more color on these ones, but the rest is awesome!" He mumbled in thought as he proceeded to change the page, his eyes widening at a familiar pair of eyes, when two delicate hands held his wrist in place.

"Pl-Please uh, that's not for the project eh-" She stuttered, panic evident in her voice as her red face and tilted ears gave away her embarrassment. He simply stared for a moment, before his other hand simply loosened her grip on his wrist, freeing himself without much force. He slowly turned the page, revealing multiple rough sketches of..

Him.

It was him, not very detailed, but clearly visible. Small scenarios were drawn on the page, him staring out the open window of the classroom as he talked to friends, him at the sidelines of his basketball game as he'd taken a break, or him asleep on his desk during class. He studied the drawings, noticing how she'd not cared much about his clothing, or the background; even the desk or the window weren't really drawn very realistically, simply a fast sketch. What did stand out was.. well, his face. The way the sun reflected in his eyes, how his ears had been slightly damp from the slight rain outside, or the tiny things he would've never thought she'd notice about him, like the tiny beauty mark under his lower lip, the slight scar just above his cheek, or how the sides of his eyes crinkled when he laughed, nose scrunched up.

As he looked up she was looking down, hair hiding her eyes as her ears were flat against her skull, tail in her hands, which nervously fiddled with the fur. "I-" He started, before he began to open his own bag, ruffling around in it as his own ears lowered themselves while he tried to find something. "Hah!" He exclaimed in victory, hands sliding off the rubber band of his own folder which kept his messily organized sketches and finished works. He rummaged through them, before he started to lay some of them out in front of her, one by one. Slowly, her ears turned, attention on what he'd put down in front of her.

He always had a different way of drawing things, not really putting a lot of effort into the outlines or sketches themselves; but he had a way of coloring things, a unique style that made things feel almost alive. In every picture, he'd dedicated most of his effort to color the fur of her hybrid features almost perfectly- he also payed special attention to her postures in every picture. He never drew her eyes however- which she noticed. "I uhm.. I've never got the chance to see them up close, so I had a bit of trouble with them.." He explained. "I've noticed you pretty early when we shared our first classes together.. But I never really got around to talk to you. You and Namjoon-Hyung always seemed so close, I thought.." He revealed, scratching behind his own ear as he suddenly felt a bit bashful.

"You.. I mean, Joonie is a good friend but we uh.." She started, voice a bit low as she laughed a bit.

"I know, I know, he told me-" Jungkook answered, now chuckling. "Thats why I immediately took my chance when they'd announced the group project." He said. "It gave me a chance to you know, get to know you better. Get closer, you know?" He explained, and she nodded. "So uh.." He mumbled, before he smiled at her hopefully. "Wanna uh- get cake together today? Like a date?" He asked, and she nodded, making him suddenly jump up as he fist bumped the air, making a passerby elderly couple laugh. "Yes!"

"Carrot cake?" She asked, an almost teasing smile on her lips as he looked at her.

"What? Don't judge puppy!" He said, making her scoff scandalized.

"Hey, I'm a wolf, not a dog!" She explained as she stirred her milkshake with her pink straw before grabbing the spoon from her small metal plate.

"And I'm a rabbit, not a bunny. So guess we're even." He said, before his smile faded a bit, eyes stuck to the spoonful of whipped cream which made its way inside her mouth, tongue darting out to lick her lips clean before she noticed his gaze. He snapped out of it, suddenly the one growing a bit shy. "You uh.. wait, lemme just-" He mumbled, hand moving to wipe the corner of her mouth as he licked his finger clean himself, making her eyes widen before she mumbled a 'thanks' under her breath. He grinned.

"So uh-" He asked, pushing down his small cake fork to pick up a piece of cake, holding it out towards her. "open up?" He asked, and she hesitated a bit, before leaning forward a bit, lips parting. He placed the piece into her mouth, watching as she closed her lips, accepting his offering of food before she nodded her head approvingly. "See? Don't judge before you try!" He exclaimed, and she giggled at that.

He was right.

"I'm absolutely beat." He suddenly exclaimed, falling down onto the mattress laying on the ground in the corner of the new, unfurnished bedroom. The wolf hybrid sat down next to his sprawled out form, gently moving his blonde tipped hair away from his eyes. He'd dyed it months ago, his roots more than visible at this point, yet he'd simply decided to let it grow. "Come here~!" He playfully demanded, hands reaching out for her as he pulled her down with him, happily humming when she was laying on his chest. "Can you believe we're actually gonna live together from now on?" He asked, and she shook her head, moving around a bit so she straddled him, sat on his thighs as he suddenly watches her with hooded eyes, hands on her hips as his thumbs move in circles over the skin underneath her sweater- his sweater. "Hm.. I mean.." He offered, suddenly moving to sit up, changing position as she's now underneath him, his hair tickling her face slightly when he begins to kiss against her pulse. "I was about to ask if we should at least put up the bedframe, but having a mattress on the floor.." He started, hands wandering underneath the clothing of his she wore as he continued in a low voice. "..means I can't break the bed this time." He said, and she giggled at that, remembering the time their time together had been roughly interrupted by the weak frame of his old bed breaking. "Oh, my puppy thinks that's funny?" He wonders, making her grin as he kissed her deeply.

Moments like these made her almost forget the stereotypes she'd grown up with during her live- since Jungkook was nothing like the typically depicted rabbit hybrids. Because right now the roles seemed completely reversed, as he mouthed at her neck, feeling her pulse race as he continued to map out her body with just his hands, no need to watch where they were, able to seemingly paint a picture of her by touch at this point. Clothes suddenly seemed to tight, itchy, as if bitten by a mosquito. She whined as he chuckled darkly, helping her out of his sweater as he immediately grabbed her breasts, kneading them before he continued to undress her, making quick work of her shorts as he pulled down her underwear as well- her already glistening center clinging to the damp fabric of her underwear as she squirmed, making him humm in appreciation. He pulled his own shirt over his head as well, revealing his body to her as the sun outside painted glowing stripes onto it, the blinds drawing patterns on her skin as well. He finally freed himself from the confines of his own underwear as well, standing proud and ready as she became restless.

"Hm, puppy wants to be filled up yeah?" He asked with a teasing undertone, proudly making use of the privilege to be able to call her that- since she hated it when others did it. It was the same the other way around however; typically, being called a 'bunny' was an absolute insult to him, but for some reason it seemed like a cute nickname coming from her. Maybe he was just whipped. Or maybe she was just privileged as well.

He entered her slowly as he sighed alongside her, not wasting any time as he fell into rhythm, hips thrusting forwards as her hands reached for his, intertwining their fingers as he felt his soul warm up at the gesture. He felt so loved, so cherished, it made him fear for his heart, as he swore it stopped every time he was close to her like this. He felt complete, like he'd found his soulmate, his other half- it didn't matter to him what she was. Sure, his parents were a bit dissapointed since they couldn't have kids naturally because of this, but they both could always adopt in the future. Thinking about it made his heart swell as he thought about her, caring for their kids, making this small apartment into a family home one day. Maybe it was instinct, but he'd already been driven nuts by the way she'd helped him choose furniture and wallpaper for the small living space they'd be sharing; the simple fact that she wanted to make their apartment into a home feeding his inner instincts to build a home to keep her safe in.

He felt her legs shake a bit as he shifted a bit, making her whine as he suddenly picked up his pace, sweat already slowly beginning to coat his skin as he didn't seem to notice how the sound of skin against skin still echoed in the almost empty room since it lacked furniture- but it didn't matter for now anyways. They'd both fill it with things and memories of the both of them, and he couldn't wait for it. He huffed a bit as he moved, leaning down a bit to rest his forehead against her neck as she bared it for him, a natural instinct of hers to submit to him even if he was of another species with no need of such gestures. He'd adapted to it however, gently biting the skin as he felt her shiver underneath him, a sign that she was getting close. "Hm my baby wanna cum?" He asked, gently beginning to tease her as she nodded, eyes closed in bliss. "You want a knot huh?" He asked, and she shook her head no, as he chuckled. He'd felt a bit insecure the first few times around as he knew how things worked for canine hybrids, worried that he maybe couldn't give her what she wanted or needed, yet she'd always reassured him. Now it was more like a teasing thing for him, and a way to tickle a praise out of her- a way of reminding himself that she loved him just as much as she did her. "No? You don't?" She shook her head again, her fingers holding his hands tighter. "What do you want then, huh?" He asked with a grin as she whined.

"You- you, only want ngh.. only need Kookie-!" She pressed out, and he hummed approvingly, his thrusts beginning to grow sloppy as he neared his end.

"That's right, only me, only mine, yeah?" He asked, and she nodded, suddenly opening mouth as her head buried itself into the mattress below her, clenching around him as he groaned out, burying himself deep inside her as he spilled. "Thats it, take it like a puppy- good girl!" He praised, making her whine as he leaned his body down, kissing her neck, her throat, and then her lips as they both calmed down from their highs, breathing slowly growing more and more even as he moved a bit to grab a box as he slid it towards him, rummaging through it before he took out a roll of kitchen towels, grabbing a few as he slipped out of her, carefully catching his release and her own juices as to not make a mess. He had a gentle smile on his face as he carefully cleaned her up before he stood, walking towards another box where he pulled out a large pillow and a few blankets, instincts taking over as he began to cover her now rapidly cooling body in soft fabrics before cuddling up next to her, pulling another blanket over his own form as he made sure his partner was comfortable. She slipped out of her makeshift blanket burrito to invite him in, making him grin his signature bunny smile as he held her close, skin on skin as he closed his eyes, the only light in the room the streetlamps outside.

This already felt like home.

#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #bts smut #jungkook imagine #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts #jungkook #bts reactions #hybrid imagine #bts hybrid au

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anxious2dsimp · 3 years

Text

Everything He's Not | Iwaizumi x GN! Reader | Short Fic

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡*✧･ﾟ:˚۰˚☽˚｡･:

Flavour: Angst (Reader x Cheater!Oikawa) to Fluff (Reader x Iwaizumi)💔→☁️

Reader: Gender Neutral!

Format: Short Fic (alternating between two sides of the story, y/n and Iwa's)

Part: 1 out of 2 (read part 2 here)

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary: Y/N, has dated the very popular Oikawa Toru for a while, through him becoming friends with his group. However, little do they know about a certain stoic ace's feelings for his best friend's s/o. When Oikawa screws up big time, will Iwaizumi's true feelings finally show? And what will Y/N do when everything goes down?

Warnings: Cheating, cursing, breakups, basically Oikawa x Reader angst turned into Iwaizumi x Reader fluff.

A/N: I wrote this for myself a while back but I edited it into a gender-neutral reader insert on a sleep-deprived whim (sorry if there are any mistakes, feel free to let me know!) Ik it's very random, but hopefully someone likes it :)

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡*✧･ﾟ:˚۰˚☽˚｡･:

Your POV

Dating Oikawa Toru was definitely different from what you expected; at first you were weary about the volleyball star, but after giving him a chance you started to see the real him. Yes, he was the captain of a powerhouse’s Volleyball team and had a ton of fangirls, but really he was just a regular guy with dorky interests and an alien obsession, which was the side of him you fell for. It wasn’t all great, dealing with his fangirls was rough; luckily you were safe being from another school, but they’d take any chance they had to try and gain Oikawa’s interest, flirting with him as he did the same back, not with bad intentions, it was just his personality. It did slightly annoy you, but you knew he was clear that we were together and wouldn’t take things further, he was just keeping up his image, and he promised you that was all.

Since your Karasuno friends didn’t particularly like your relationship with the setter (though they did respect it), you two hung out with his Aoba Johsai friends; that’s how your friendship with Iwa, Makki, and Mattsun started. You all became good friends, so they all helped you keep Oikawa in line while at school (especially Iwaizumi). Since you got along so well your friendship became its own thing besides Oikawa, and before you realized it, you and Iwa were such good friends that you chatted almost daily on the phone.

You don’t know what exactly made you bond so much, maybe you were similar in the sense that you were both used to being lowkey, keeping things together behind the scenes; regardless, you both enjoyed each other’s company. That Tuesday afternoon was one of those days, Oikawa had something to do at school, so Iwaizumi invited you, Makki, and Mattsun over to his place to wait for the captain like you usually did since it was the closest to the school.

So, you just chilled like always, laughing and playing video games, talking about whatever came to mind. While you were in the middle of a Mario Kart match, you heard the front door of the apartment open, “(y/n)-chan! I’m sorry for the delay~” the brunette said in a sing-song voice.

“Hi to you too, Oikawa,” said Makki, poking fun at him, to which he just rolled his eyes and walked over to the couch. “Aren’t you gonna give me a kiss?” Oikawa asked standing in front of the screen, causing all four of you to start yelling at him to get out of the way, making him pout. “One sec, Toru-chan,” you said, biting your lip while focusing on keeping your first place intact for the last lap. The setter just giggled and got out of the way, walking around the sofa to stand behind you.

Iwaizumi’s POV

‘Eyes on the screen Iwaizumi,’ the ace told himself as he tried to focus on the game, attempting to ignore the way Oikawa kissed (y/n)’s neck while they played, trying to get their attention but failing miserably other than a giggle here and there. Iwa could tell by the way their (e/c) colored eyes pierced the screen that they wanted to win. The boy could see why his best friend liked them, unlike most people (y/n) actually treated Oikawa like a normal person, which definitely got him going. It wasn’t just that though, you all became such good friends because they’re smart, funny and beyond kind; but that’s all you were, friends. So why did it make him moody to see them be all couple-y?

After all, they were together while he was just the friend, the one who kept the fangirls off Oikawa so (y/n) didn’t have to worry because he couldn’t do it himself. Even though Toru was Iwaizumi’s best friend since they were kids, he couldn’t help but think that his friend wasn’t the greatest boyfriend. However, that was the same reason why he couldn’t say anything either, after all, they made him happy and vice versa, so he just kept telling himself to keep his damn eyes on the screen.

Luckily for him, the game was soon over so you all ordered takeout and sat around talking. “Yo, (y/n), there’s this new scary movie on Netflix, we should watch it this Friday night,” Mattsun stated, stealing one of Maki’s fries and throwing it in his mouth. “That sounds fun, but I can’t Friday! Karasuno has a friendly match against a few Tokyo schools this weekend so we leave Thursday after school,” (y/n) explained with a sweet smile, Iwaizumi’s eyes casually wondering over to Oikawa to see him looking upset.

‘Ugh, here goes,’ the spiker thought to himself. Lately, Toru had been restless and uncomfortable because according to him, his s/o was slipping away from him. Oikawa had somehow managed to convince himself that Karasuno had made it their mission to get their manager (y/n) to stop liking him and had been getting increasingly dramatic and jealous lately for no reason.

“But I thought we were going to hang out this weekend,” Oikawa whined as he pouted at his significant other, trying to seem jokingly disappointed though his best friend could tell he actually was upset. “Babe, we literally talk every day and we hung out all this past weekend, and today,” (y/n) said taking his hand.

“Plus, you have friends too, Shittykawa,” Hajime said, trying to get his friend’s mind out of that dark place since he knew he was more prone to make stupid comments when it was there. Oikawa didn’t drop it, insisting on how they were talking less as (y/n) continued to explain that school had been busy and how he also had responsibilities that took up his time. They eventually got him to shut up, but Iwaizumi couldn’t shake the concern that he was being too stupid, and it felt like he was getting closer and closer to making a mistake.

Your POV

You had to admit you did feel guilty when you told Toru you were leaving for the weekend, it was true that you had been way too busy with school and that neither of you had much free time, but you knew that your feelings for him were still strong. So, that Thursday after school you were happy and excited to hear that the trip had been postponed and you’d actually travel on Saturday morning because Sensei had a very important meeting on Friday afternoon. With the change of plans, you decided to go surprise your boyfriend, and it already being late in the afternoon, by the time you got to his place he would be home.

As you got off the bus by his place and got closer to his house, the sun beginning to set, a couple by a small park caught your eye, causing a soft smile to appear on your face. That park was always where you two would hang out when you wanted to be just the two of you. Walking closer, however, the smile quickly disappeared as you realized the “couple” was none other than Oikawa himself with one of his persistent fans he told you not to worry about. ‘Maybe they’re just hanging out as friends,’ or at least that’s what you told yourself as you squinted and kept walking.

Picking up your pace you got closer, now being able to see their faces more clearly in the dimly lit park only to watch them kiss, the girl’s arms around his neck while Oikawa’s hand slid up her thigh. You didn’t know what to do, so you just stood there in shock as silent tears began to fall down your face. Almost as if you were in a trance, you reached into your pocket and took out your phone, dialing his number as you saw the brunette react.

He looked down surprised at his phone screen as he scooted apart from the girl and picked up the call as if it was nothing. “Hey beaut-” he started to say before you cut him off, not having the strength to hear his happy tone. “How could you?!” you sobbed angrily into the phone as his face became anxious. “What’s wrong babe?” How could he try to play it off as if he had no idea?

“You lying, cheating, son of a bitch! We’re over,” you yelled angrily, hanging up right as his eyes met yours. You were close enough to see the horrified and heartbroken expression on his face, but before he could say anything you turned around and just ran. Grabbing the straps of your backpack you sprinted back down the streets, your vision blurry with tears as your (h/c) hair was pushed back by the wind. It was only when you were back at the bus station and were sure that Oikawa was nowhere to be seen that you stopped and realized; you didn’t know where to go next.

You could go to your Karasuno friends, but you weren’t in the mood to hear “I told you so” and couldn’t go home to not worry your family. As you sat there and looked at the screen blankly, tears continuing to fill your eyes, a notification appeared. ‘Hey loser, how’s the trip going?’ you read as your eyes looked at Iwa’s name by the message. He was your best shot, you were close and he wouldn’t judge, so without opening your phone again and ignoring all of Oikawa’s calls you jogged over to Iwaizumi’s place.

After ringing the apartment and hiding your teary and now out of breath voice in the intercom, Iwa’s mom buzzed you in, and once you got to his floor you were greeted by Iwaizumi looking concerned, more so once he saw the state you were in. “(y/n), are you ok?” Iwaizumi asked as he walked over to you, hugging you as you hid in his arms and sobbed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know where else to go. It’s Oikawa,” you explained as he nodded and got you inside. He made some tea and brought it with you two to his room, both of you sitting on his bed. “Ok, what did Shittykawa do now?” he asked as he looked up at you and handed over a warm mug. “D- did you know h-he was cheating on me?” you managed to stutter out between sobs, trying to sound collected but being embarrassed by your inability to do so.

“He- wHAT?!” His reaction startled you, and when you looked up from the cup and saw his horrified, furious expression it made you feel less like you were overreacting. “I- the trip got postponed to Saturday morning, so I went to surprise him to his place and saw him in our bench making out with one of his fangirls,” you explained, watching as Iwa’s face became angrier and angrier, realizing how you don’t think you’ve ever seen him like this, “I’m sorry I came to you, I know you’re best friends.”

Iwaizumi’s POV

Seeing them like this was already painful, but learning what Oikawa did was too much, Iwaizumi couldn’t believe how his friend could do this to (y/n). The spiker had never cared when he did stuff like this or worse than this to his fangirls. After all, he thought, they were the ones stupid enough to be blinded by his charm, but he never fathomed Oikawa would be able to do something like that to someone as great as you. “What? Hey, don’t even dare apologize,” he stated firmly as he took both mugs and set them by the bedside table, hugging (y/n) tightly and feeling them snuggle into him as they cried. Seeing them like this killed him. ‘Fuck Oikawa,’ he thought to himself, ‘if before I had stayed out of the way because they were good for each other that’s no longer the case.’

“I’m so sorry he did this to you; I should have stopped him. If I had known I would have, I should have been paying more attention,” the ace rambled into (y/n)’s hair as they cried softly, getting angry at himself before being interrupted by them pushing themselves away from him gently to look up at his face. “Why are you apologizing as if this was your fault? Iwa, he’s the one who’s an asshole, not you,” they stated, wiping a tear from their face.

“Because,” was he really going to say this? Screw it, here goes nothing, he told himself before continuing, “I knew you deserved better than him, but I convinced myself he would be different with you because I saw how good you were to him, and how happy you looked.” (y/n) just looked at him, mouth slightly ajar as they seemed to process what the boy had said. He couldn’t take the silence anymore so to avoid the blush he felt was beginning to appear on his cheeks he asked; “so did you dump him?” They nodded, looking down at their cup of tea as they chuckled and replied; “on the spot, over the phone.”

Iwaizumi chuckled back, releasing some of the nerves; “serves him right.” They smiled weakly at his comment and absentmindedly ran their fingers through their hair, My god were they gorgeous, Hajime thought to himself, only then realizing it was the first time it was just the two of them in his room, suddenly becoming self-conscious. Calm down, he told himself while taking a deep breath, looking over at (y/n). 'They just broke up with their boyfriend, being here with you is their last concern,' or so he thought. “Do you… want to watch (favorite movie) and eat ice cream?” the spiker suggested after thinking for a moment, he knew that was their favorite movie, and ice cream helps get over jerks, right?

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡*✧･ﾟ:˚۰˚☽˚｡･:

#Cassie likes HQ!#iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi fanfic #iwaizumi fluff #iwaizumi hajime x reader #iwaizumi x gender neutral reader #oikawa angst #oikawa toru x reader #iwaizumi hajime fic #iwaizumi fic #iwaizumi x you

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cacoetheswriting · 3 years

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champagne problems, ch.10

Spencer is in love with you, but you’re engaged to someone else.

Chapter Ten: Feels Like We Only Go Backwards: A choice is made. A/N: chapter is titled after this song if you want to listen while reading. Word Count: 2.4k Warnings: swearing, heartbreak, unrequited / unreciprocated love, jealousy, talk of breakup/s, serious serious angst, disclaimer [& spoiler warning], this chapter is not a happy one. this whole series is a real slow burn.

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A/N: as always, thank you for all the love you’re giving this story. we have about six chapters left to the end and words cannot describe how grateful i am to you for sticking with me and my rambling writing. ENJOY !

A significant weight was lifted off Spencer’s shoulders the second he told you how he truly felt about you. Actually, it was more the second you said you loved him back.

Even though the two of you distanced yourselves from one another, giving you the space to really think about your future and who you wanted to spend it with, the week that followed the admissions was considerably good.

Yes, the brunette doctor continued to feel uneasy about the situation he put you in. Uneasy about the choice you eventually would have to make. However, as days went by he noticed it didn't seem to bother you. No. You were oddly chirpy and cheerful. Spencer couldn't help but feel like it was because of him.

Like your choice was already made, and that choice was him.

“Do you have plans tonight?” You asked in a hushed tone, slyly glancing around the bullpen to ensure no-one else was paying attention to you and the doctor.

Spencer shook his head. “Not entirely, no.”

Your lips curled into a smile at his response. “So you wouldn’t mind if I came over?” You asked, gently tapping your fingers in a walking motion against his desk. They stopped next to his hand - you could feel it was there, yet you didn't move your fingers further in fear of someone seeing. “There’s something I want to talk to you about.”

Spencer mouth twitched into a pleasant smirk. He should have been nervous, what if you were going to break the news you were choosing Ethan? He should have been anxious, the thought of losing you all over again, he couldn't imagine how awful that would feel. Yet he didn't feel any of those things.

Judging by your relaxed body language. Your hand just aching to touch his. The way your eyes glistened looking at him. Your elated tone as you spoke. It didn't take a genius, a profiler, or even someone that knew you as well as him, to say these were all indicators whatever you wanted to talk to him about was happy.

“Of course.” He cleared his throat. “What time do you think-”

“I’ll let you know, okay? I know you like to switch off for the weekend so keep your phone on you for me.” You traced a finger against his knuckle and with one last smile, ambled elegantly towards the exit.

Yes - Spencer deducted - whatever you wanted to tell him was going to be good news.

A knock on the door grabbed Spencer’s attention. He quickly examined the place one last time, to ensure everything was clean and, well, perfect for you.

Satisfied, he eagerly crossed his living room and without thinking twice, expecting to see you on the other side of the door, he opened it.

“Hey Spencer.”

But it wasn’t you. It was the last person he ever expected to see.

“E-Ethan, what ehm, what are you doing here?” Spencer asked.

Ethan smirked at the question, slowly sliding his hands into the pockets of his coat. “We need to talk, don’t you think?”

Spencer swallowed, but before he got a chance to reply the surgeon continued. “Actually, I’ll talk and you can listen. Also don’t bother inviting me inside because I’ll keep this brief and to the point.”

Your fiancé cleared his throat. “Imagine my surprise when I found out my wife-to-be still has feelings for her ex boyfriend. Did you know she is actually on her way here to tell you she’s choosing you? Yeah... Now, she doesn't know that I know. Her plan is to inform me tomorrow, after my shift at the hospital, that the wedding is no longer happening and our relationship is over.” He paused, almost as if he was daring Spencer to interrupt him at any moment and defend your honour.

Which in hindsight is something Spencer should have done.

“So here’s how this is going to do, doctor.” He slurred. “When she comes here, you're going to turn her down. You've broken her heart once before, I’m pretty sure you know how to do it again.”

Spencer stepped forward and opened his mouth to protest, but the surgeon impolitely cut him off. “Look, you’re a smart guy. Some sort of genius, right? I think deep down you know Y/N is better off with me. I can provide for her in ways you can't even comprehend. I am going to give her a life you can only dream of Spencer.”

“I think you’re forgetting it’s not all about the money.” Spencer stated coldly. His eyes narrowing. Jaw clenching.

Ethan chuckled callously. “Of course not. But I think you need to consider how much disposable income can improve life. I have the ability to ensure we buy our dream home. I have the ability to invest in a second home for her father, and move him somewhere closer to us. With me, Y/N will be able to quit her job and no longer risk her life on a daily basis. She will be able to spend time with our future kids, in a beautiful home, completely care free.”

He let out a deep sigh. “Did she even tell you she’s been thinking about transferring out of the BAU? She doesn't want to be a profiler anymore. Fuck man, she doesn't even know if she wants to be a SSA anymore. The only reason she’s sticking around is you.”

The statement caught Spencer completely off guard. Ethan had to be bluffing, right? He would say anything to ensure you stayed with him, right?

“You’re lying.” Spencer grumbled through his teeth.

Ethan smirked in response. “I’m really not though. Ask anyone. Her dad, it was actually he who suggested it in the first place. Or your friend Penelope, she seems to think it’s a good idea.”

Spencer’s world was crumbling down around him and he was helpless to stop it. Why didn't you tell him this was on your mind? Why did you keep this a secret? And how did he not see any inclination of this before?

“Like I said, you’re a smart guy Spencer.” Ethan stated. “I think you know what the right thing to do is.” And with that, he walked away leaving the brunette agent alone with his thoughts.

Slowly, Spencer closed the door. He turned on his heel and leaned against it while letting out a long winded breath, one he didn't even realise he was holding.

He never wanted to stand in the way of your plans. He didn't want to be the one holding you back from anything. Was his ever growing love for you clouding his judgement?

He closed his eyes, resting against the door behind him. The guilt he was now feeling riddled him from head to toe. And mixed with the guilt was a faint feeling of anger. Anger directed at the man that dared to get between your relationship with the brunette agent.

Ethan, a name of Hebrew origin that means firm, enduring and strong. A good name for good people.

Spencer knew off many Ethan’s in his lifetime. His college friend, an old colleagues son - all people that definitely lived up to the meaning. Yet your fiancé was anything but.

This Ethan was arrogant, rude, possessive. In Spencer’s mind, this Ethan was quite literally the physical embodiment of the curse word dick.

He never truly understood what you saw in the guy. He always thought you could do a lot better. Even if it wasn’t Spencer himself, there are men out there a lot kinder than Ethan.

And yet, despite all of the resentment he felt towards the man, Spencer couldn't help but feel like there was some truth to what he had said. The hazel-eyed man started doubting himself. Doubting whether he really had your best intention at heart, or whether his own selfishness was preventing him from making sure you’re living your best life.

This was supposed to be a happy day. A happy evening.

It certainly started out that way. You were on your way here to tell him you were choosing him. You were choosing to spend the rest of your life with him.

Spencer felt sick to his stomach. Dizzy. He was sure if he opened his eyes even just for a second he would collapse. He also knew the only rational thing, the right thing to do will only make him feel worse.

The brunette agent wasn’t entirely sure how long he stood frozen like that. His breathing shallow. Heart sinking, heavy.

A knock on the door behind his back caused him to slowly open his eyes, yet he didn't move an inch. He simply couldn't. He couldn't bare to face you. He couldn't bare to look you in the eye and break your heart for a second time.

Instead, he chose the childish way out. He hoped if he was still enough, quiet enough, you would think he wasn’t home and leave. It is a conversation that cannot be avoided, but it would be a conversation for another day.

You knocked again, using a little more strength this time.

Spencer held his breath. Tears began to form in his eyes. Salty droplets that if he let escape, he knew they wouldn't stop falling.

He heard faint shuffling outside and for a split second he thought you gave up and walked away. For a split second he thought he bought himself more time. More time with the fantasy that the two of you would get your happy ending together. Foolish, he thought.

It was in that moment the mobile device in the back pocket off his pants started to buzz, vibrating against the door. The phone you asked he kept close to him earlier that day. The sound of the ringtone followed soon after completely giving away Spencer’s current location.

“Spencer?” The sweet sound of your voice coming through the wooden barrier between you caused the tears he was fighting to slowly trail down his face. The device stopped ringing. “I know you’re in there. Can you let me in?” You said, so blissfully unaware of what was about to happen.

Spencer turned around and pressed his forehead against the painted wood. His hand travelled to the door knob, yet he still didn't move any further. “I-I... I c-can’t...” He managed to blurt out.

“What do you mean you can’t?” He heard you ask, the hint of confusion in your tone aching his heart further. “Spencer, what’s going on?”

The brunette doctor licked his lips and swallowed, tasting the saltiness of his own tears. “Y-you should go Y/N.” He uttered.

“Go? Spencer, you’re not making any sense.” You responded, the door knob rattling under Spencer’s fingers. “Please let me in. I’m not going to say what I want to say through a door.”

“Don’t s-say it at all. You should be with E-Ethan. Your future will be brighter with him.”

Silence. Unbearably heartbreaking silence.

At first you thought your ears were playing tricks on you. There was no way he just said that, right? A week after he told you he loved you. A week after he said he'll always wait for you. A week after he proposed. There was no way he changed his mind.

And then you thought of his time in prison. More specifically the day you went to visit him for the last time. The day you wanted to propose. The day he broke your heart.

He used those exact words - “Your future will be brighter without me.”

Slowly, you placed the palm of your hand on the door between you and took in a deep breath. Your eyes glossed over as the confusion rushing through you evolved into sadness.

Spencer could pinpoint the exact moment the air changed around him. It was suddenly tense. Broken. He felt like a coward. Even if he had your best interest at heart, he should still be able to face you and explain his side in person. Tell you that Ethan came by. Tell you everything that was said. Ask about your plans to leave the BAU. Ask whether he really was the only reason you haven't resigned yet. But he couldn't formulate the words. He simply gave up. A coward.

“Spencer, I-I don’t understand...” You sobbed. “I-I thought-t you loved me.”

“I love you more than anything in this world Y/N.” He quickly replied, the palm of his hand now pressed against the wood. Unbeknown to him, against the exact same spot on the opposite side of the barrier was your hand. So close yet so far.

“Then let me in. Please. I-I came here to say I choose you. I want to be with you Spencer. Please... Please let me in.” You cried through the door. Spencer could hear the pain behind your words, the sorrow. It really took all the strength he had not to let you in.

“I’m sorry Y/N.”

Your hands trembling uncontrollably against the barrier between you and the man of your dreams.

His sudden change of heart left you completely speechless. His words like tiny daggers stabbing directly into your bleeding heart. How did this happen? What changed between now and this morning? What changed between now and last week? You had so many questions. Ones that you feared would remain unanswered.

Additionally, your gut was telling you there was more to this than he was letting on. That it wasn’t as simple as ‘Ethan is the better man for you’ because you knew Spencer didn't believe that. But you couldn't find the strength within to argue with him.

“If-f that’s w-what you want Spencer, I’ll leave-e.”

It was the last thing he heard before the sound of your footsteps ushering away.

After a minute, the hazel-eyed agent moved to the couch and sunk into the material. Every fibre of his being was currently aching. He hoped he did the right thing, although the voice at the back of his mind said no. What else was he supposed to do? He knew Ethan wouldn't just give up. Was Spencer prepared to fight for you? If tonight was any inclination the answer would also be no.

Spencer’s gaze locked onto the small box in the middle of his coffee table.

It was a considerably good week, and it was supposed to end a hell of a lot better than this.

Every part of me says, "Go ahead" But I got my hopes up again, oh no, not again

A/N: i hope you liked this chapter! and i am so so sorry for giving y’all false hope with the last one! i promise these there are happy times ahead for these two just not quite yet... as always i’d love to hear your feedback! if you would like to be added to a taglist, please let me know. thank you for your continuous support. with love, mal. x

masterlist | series masterlist | series playlist

story taglist: @girloncorneliastreet, @haylaansmi, @rexorangecouny, @l0ve-0f-my-life, @obsssedwithjustaboutanything, @aperrywilliams, @sassy-hades, @rainsong01, @reverdevivre, @dracomikaelson, @softieekayy, @lunaofcrows, @andrewhoezierbyrne, @blameitonthenight21, @lyl-26, @do-yr-research, @nazifa94, @stepsofthefbi, @chatterbug2-0

spencer reid taglist: @no-honey-no, @calm-and-doctor, @idroppedmygourd, @averyhotchner, @wowitsel, @elldell1204, @hey-there-angels, @reidabookforonce, @ellesgreenaway

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid angst #spencer reid x oc #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fanfiction #dr spencer reid x reader #criminal minds angst #champagne problems series

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thatshithurted8 · 4 years

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Marigold (2)

Summary: Getting to know JJ Maybank is something you hoped for, but a jealous Rafe makes it his mission to put a stop to your developing feelings.

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Fem!Reader, Fem!Reader x Platonic Rafe, JJ Maybank x Introverted!Reader

Word Count: 3.8k (I went off I guess)

Marigold Masterlist

Currently you sat in the passenger seat of Sarah Cameron’s car as she drove through figure 8 and into the cut. The blonde girl beside you kept going on about some guy named John B and how much she likes him. As you listened you couldn’t help, but wonder what you guys were doing in the cut. You had nothing against anyone or anything in the lower class part of town, but every time you’ve hung out with the Cameron siblings you’ve never seen any of them step foot into the cut willingly.

Sarah invited you to have a sleep over for the weekend and you were going to politely decline considering you weren’t close with her and socializing with people you don’t know well was draining, but your parents caught wind of the invitation and made you go. However, little did you know it wasn’t Sarah’s idea to invite you. Yes, she wished you two were closer, but JJ was the one that ultimately came up with the idea.

A few days after Midsummers the blonde boy brought up you and how you still haven’t contacted him yet. That was when Kie mentioned how JJ said that you and Rafe seemed to know each other so Sarah must know you as well. Sarah wasn’t surprised when JJ asked her about you. You were a beautiful girl after all, but you barely even spoke, how’d he manage to have a conversation with you?

Seeing how smitten JJ was for you warmed Sarah’s heart and of course she obliged by inviting you to visit for the upcoming weekend. And when you agreed JJ asked Sarah hundreds of questions about you and what you were like.

About ten minutes later of Sarah continuing to talk about John B you notice the blonde become quiet while driving down a dirt road before ending up outside of a shack like house.

“We’re here.” She says turning off the car and smiling over at you. You simply respond back with a smile and follow Sarah out of the car, making sure you grabbed your bag and then walk into the chateau.

As soon as you stepped foot into the chateau your whole energy changed. You just got comfortable with being alone with Sarah, a girl you’ve known basically your whole life and now you were greeted with a room of fellow teenagers. You could feel yourself retreating back into your shell even though you didn’t want to.

“Hey I’m Kiara, but you can call me Kie.” A familiar girl says standing up and walking over to you as Sarah passes her to greet another familiar boy which you assumed was the infamous John B.

“Hi I’m Y/N.” You say timidly before following Kiara over to the couch and sitting down. You felt extremely awkward as you weren’t in your typical surroundings so you didn’t even notice how rigid and uncomfortable you looked sitting pin straight on the couch beside the brown haired girl.

“That’s Pope.” Kiara says pointing over to the boy leaning against the kitchen counter that was eating cereal. He nods over in your direction, acknowledging you and you smile back.

“And that’s John B.” She says pointing to the boy holding Sarah in his arms. You simply nod, making a mental note to remember everyone’s names. Just as Kie opens her mouth to talk about the pogue that was missing your direction is turned to the hallway when you hear heavy boots make their way down it.

“Hey, John B I think I clogged your toilet agai-” JJ says, but instantly stops when he sees you sitting on the couch beside Kie. His cheeks turn a shade of red at his embarrassing statement, but you try your best to bite your tongue to stop yourself from laughing. After seeing JJ you were finally able to connect the dots as to why everyone in the chateau looked so familiar.

“Hey Marigold.” JJ says, regaining his confidence when he sees how flustered you got at the nickname.

“Hi.” You softly say back with heated cheeks.

As the room full of teens becomes engulfed in conversation you don’t notice JJ practically begging Kiara to move from where he stood leaning against a door frame. Finally giving in Kie rolls her eyes and gets up, joining Pope on the floor. Without a moment to spare JJ quickly walks over to the now free spot beside you and plops himself down.

When he does this you can feel your heart beat increase and nerves started to wash over you. You were worried that he was going to ask you why you didn’t text or call him and he did exactly that.

“You know I’ve been sitting beside my phone for the last week waiting for a call or text from this really pretty girl that I gave my number to.” JJ says for only you to hear.

Still sitting up straight you look over at the boy beside you who was sitting comfortably against the couch. His gaze on you was intense and felt hot. You couldn’t bring yourself to make eye contact with him as he made you too nervous.

“I-I wanted to text you, but I lost the napkin.” You softly say telling the truth. When you were chasing after Rafe who was chasing after JJ you dropped the napkin JJ gave you and didn’t notice until it was too late.

“Well I can give you my number again, but this time I’ll write it down in your phone so you don’t lose it.” JJ says winking at you when you finally make eye contact, but you instantly look away blushing when he does so.

Looking up at the teens in front of you who were laughing at something Pope just said you pull your phone out of your shorts pocket and unlock it before handing it over to JJ.

JJ watches you as you do this and he truly enjoyed how flustered you got because of him. As cliche as it sounded though when both of your hands touched when exchanging your phone he could’ve sworn he felt electricity.

For the first time since you got to the Chateau you looked at JJ and admired him without being too scared or nervous to do so. The blue eyed boy typed his name into your phone and then his number and then decided to put a emoji beside his name. As you watch him search for the perfect emoji to use you can’t stop yourself from starring at his large hands and ring clad fingers. He really couldn’t get anymore perfect could he?

It didn’t take long for JJ to find the emoji of his choice which ultimately was a flower that resembled the marigold flowers that were in your hair when you two first met. Satisfied with his choice JJ hands his phone back over to you and admires your frame while you put it back into your pocket.

To both yours and Sarah’s surprise after a few hours of hanging out with the pogues you started to open up and leave your shell. You found it extremely easy to talk and open up to the blonde haired and blue eyed boy that remained by your side your whole visit the day before. You’ve never opened up to someone this fast and you started to realize that there was nothing to be anxious or worried about when it came to JJ and the pogues.

It was now day two into your weekend sleep over at the Cameron household and you were actually quite glad your parents made you go. Currently you were laying down in the hammock while JJ and Pope tried to start a fire.

Sarah and John B left to find more fire wood which was taking them quite awhile, but you didn’t mind. You were too busy admiring JJ who was crouched down trying to get the wood to ignite with his silver lighter.

Just as the two boys finally get the fire started Kiara opens the chateau’s door and comes outside. “Hey Y/N can you help me with the smores stuff?”

Shifting your attention from JJ who’s face was now illuminated by the fire to Kiara, you nod your head and get up. Without realizing, as you walk over to the wavy haired girl JJ’s head follows every step you take, admiring how adorable you looked in one of his sweatshirts.

“Is JJ Maybank debating on settling down?” Pope jokes once you were out of ear shot.

“If I do that means the only two people that won’t be dating are you and Kie.” The blonde responds back with a wink, instantly wiping Pope’s smug smirk off of his face.

The truth is that JJ didn’t date. Everyone knew that even tourons that return every summer, but when JJ first saw you it was like a scene straight out of a disney movie. Although you guys haven’t known each other for long JJ somehow knew deep down in his heart that you were going to be very important in his life. He just knew.

“So Y/N are you warming up to us?” Kie asks, letting the door close behind them as they walk inside the dimly lit chateau.

“Yes, I hope we can hang out more this summer.” You say truthfully.

Over the last 48 hours you have grown close to the small group of teens, even Sarah, a girl you’ve barely made a connection with before. It was like the pogues brought something out of you which made you feel carefree and to let your wall of shyness down. Of course you were still shy, but you could feel yourself leaving your shell more and more just with every conversation you had with them.

“I do too. And I know JJ does too.”

“What do you mean?” You ask while Kiara opens the fridge and grabs a few cans of beers.

She turns and looks at you funny before looking through the fridge again to find the chocolate, after all John B didn’t have air conditioning and it wouldn’t be useful if it melted. “You don’t see the way he looks at you?”

“No?” You ask. She was acting as if JJ looked at you 24/7 and with the same love and desire as Stanley did with Rosalie, the main protagonists in your newest romance novel.

Kie scoffs and closes the fridge, not believing anything you said. She was honestly dumbfounded on how you didn’t see the way JJ looked at you. It was so obvious that JJ liked you.

“Oh come on girl he looks at you the way John B looks at Sarah.” The brown eyed girl says bringing a finger up to her mouth and pretending to gag, causing you to laugh. “It’s so obvious that JJ likes you that even a blind man can see that.”

Kie always respected the pogue rule where you don’t tell anyone each other’s business, but from her experience when JJ had a crush on a girl, which was rare he never made a move despite being the playboy of the island.

You blush at Kie’s kind words and look down at your feet. “JJ told me how they left you and Sarah on Pope’s dads boat.” You say giggling, while trying to change the topic at the same time.

“Sarah and I have to get them back for that still. You and JJ should pretend to hate each other so we can do something similar.” She says grabbing the smores ingredients while wiggling her eyebrows at you.

You simply laugh and grab the cold beers off of the counter. “I wouldn’t mind that.” You say truthfully causing Kie to hype you up as you two walked out of the chateau and down the porch steps.

By the time you guys got back Sarah and John B were also back and were sitting side by side in lawn chairs. Pope was also sitting down, leaving one lawn chair left and the hammock, but Kiara quickly sets everything down away from the fire before plopping down in the last chair. JJ remained standing, looking down at the fire like a proud father who just witnessed their child take their first steps.

As you hand the beer around, giving one to everyone except for Sarah as she was driving JJ looks up and his heart beat increases once he realizes he’s in your vicinity again.

“Here you go.” You softly say, handing the last can of cold beer to the blonde while the rest of the group were engulfed in a conversation about what was the best surfboard wax.

“Thank you.” He responds back with the same tone of voice before nodding over to the hammock. You nod your head and follow the blue eyed boy over to the white and navy blue fabric hanging between two trees.

JJ holds it while you get on, making sure you don’t flip or fall off. Once you were on he hands his unopened beer to you and joins you, moving around a bit at first before finally getting comfortable.

If your friends at home heard that you made five new friends over the weekend and cuddled with one, and that one being a boy they wouldn’t believe you even if you had picture proof. It wasn’t like you to make connections with guys and when you did you usually got heartbroken from having too high standards from your novels. But as the minutes and hours went by you realized you liked who you were when you were around the pogues and Sarah. After having a taste of letting go you were dreading going back home.

JJ opens his beer and takes a big gulp before wrapping his arm around you as you two spooned. Because you were so introverted and shy you’ve never been this close to a guy physically other than Rafe, but this was different. With Rafe he was a brother to you, but with JJ you felt something and you can only describe it the way your favourite authors do when their characters begin to like each other.

“Do you want some?” JJ asks lifting up the can closer to your face.

You shake your head, “No I’m okay. Thank you though” You say nestling your head into JJ’s chest.

As you do this you can hear his heart beat and how fast it was beating. Maybe Kie was right? But wasn’t it way too soon for that? After all you’ve only known of each other for a week, and two of those days you’ve actually gotten to know each other.

JJ’s thoughts of how content and happy he was in that moment were interrupted when John B throws a marshmallow at the blonde. “We’ve been playing truth or dare it’s your turn.”

“Oh uh truth.” He says, picking the choice he didn’t pick often. JJ loved doing dares, but he didn’t want to get up and leave the position he was in.

“What’s your love language?” Kie asks wiggling her eyebrows at JJ like she did to you earlier. Considering JJ, Pope, Kie and John B have been friends for so long they knew practically everything about each other, but they wanted you to know the answer for the future they hoped you two had.

“What the hell is that?” JJ asks confused, never hearing of the concept before.

“How you express your love.” You say softly turning to look up at him.

He looks down at you and smiles while a blush covers his face, but luckily the darkness of the night prevented you from seeing your effects on him. “Uhh I guess I express my love by doing things for people I care about no matter the risk.” He says shrugging his shoulders and pulling you closer to him.

Content with his answer JJ asks John B truth or dare and the brunette responds back with dare.

“I dare you to stuff as many marshmallows in your mouth as you can then french kiss Sarah.”

“No way in hell.” Sarah says shooting a disgusted look at JJ causing everyone to laugh.

“Oh come on I think it would be hot!” John B exclaims intertwining his hands with his girlfriends.

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that and I’m gonna make a smore.” She says rolling her eyes playfully while getting up to make her treat. Pope and Kie follow suit, but Kie sits back down when Pope says he will make her one.

“Do you want one?” JJ asks looking down at you in his arms.

“I’m okay.” You softly say as a yawn takes over your face before your roll over so you were facing JJ. You snuggle into the blondes chest once again and let your eyes flutter closed. It was understandable why you were tired, after all you were socializing all day while being out in the hot sun and JJ taught you how to surf when you all went to the beach.

JJ brings the can of beer to his lips and gulps down the rest of it’s contents before throwing it at Pope’s butt and wrapping his arms around you. Even though you two were the farthest away from the fire JJ felt warm and fuzzy, a feeling he hasn’t felt before.

Rolling over you check the time on the analogue clock beside the guest bed you were sleeping in. 3:27am.

You look around the dark room in the Cameron household, searching for your glass of water, but you couldn’t find it. With an annoyed groan you kick the blankets off of you and step out of bed, realizing you didn’t bring one with you. Normally this wouldn’t be a problem, but you were supposed to wake up early with Sarah to meet the pogues at The Wreck for breakfast before you went home.

As you tiptoe down the winding staircase and into the kitchen you secretly hope that Rafe was sound asleep in bed like everyone else in his family. You loved Rafe, but you were still quite upset at him for what he pulled at Midsummers and on top of that you didn’t want him to find out you were hanging out with the boy he was ganging up on at Midsummers. So avoiding the oldest Cameron sibling was your plan until you felt like there was no longer any tension.

Quietly you open a cabinet and reach inside for a glass. You didn’t bother to turn on the light since the moon was shinning in through the windows. Just as you bring the glass to the large stainless steal fridge the kitchen light turns on, causing you to jump and almost drop the glass in your hands.

“What the hell Rafe?” You ask, slightly laughing with the glass close to your chest while you slow down your frightened breaths.

“So you have been hanging out with my sister and the pogues?” He says getting straight to the point while leaning over the island with crossed arms.

“Yea.” You simply say, turning back to the fridge to get your water.

“Is that why you’ve been ignoring me?”

You raise your eyebrows while taking a sip of your cold water. “No, I’m still upset about what happened at Midsummers.” You say truthfully.

Rafe scoffs and pushes himself off of the cold marble before walking around the island to stand closer to you. “Is that what they told you to say? I bet they also told you how much of a dick I am. Especially that Maybank kid, he is a sly motherfucker.”

“If you’re going to talk shit about my friends I’m going to go to bed. I have to get up early to see them before I leave anyways.” You say drinking the last bit of water then putting the glass in the sink before walking past the brunette.

“Y/N wait.” He says grabbing a hold of your wrist and softly pulls you towards him.

“I need to tell you something?”

You look up at the boy in front of you expectantly, you could feel the bags growing under your eyes and you just wanted to go back to bed.

“My dad and I have been trying to tell Sarah this for a while. Those pogues aren’t good people. First John B stole our scuba diving equipment and sold it for quick cash.” Rafe lies, causing you to furrow your eyebrows in confusion. The John B you know wouldn’t do that.

“They’re all bad, but JJ is the worst. You know my friend Topper?” He asks keeping eye contact with you.

You nod your head still confused as to what Rafe was getting at. “Well, JJ pulled a gun to his head.”

You simply snort at Rafe’s statement while rolling your eyes playfully. “You don’t believe me?” He asks pulling his phone out of his pocket before pulling up a video.

Intrigued you look over at the screen as he turns it for you to see and your curiosity turned into horror as you watch John B and Topper wrestle around in the sand and water. Clearly there was a party that went wrong and someone took a video of the fight instead of helping out the boy that was currently being drowned.

Suddenly you see a mop of blonde hair rush over to the two boys and a black object is pointed against Toppers head. ‘Yea you know what that is!’ JJ yells in the video before party goers start to scream and yell because the Maybank boy raises the gun into the air, firing multiple shots.

The video ends and Rafe puts his phone back into his pocket. You look over at him confused, shocked and at a lack of words. Some may argue that you couldn’t tell that was JJ in the video and that’s probably why the police didn’t do anything, but you knew it was him. You recognized his hair and voice and he was even wearing the same shirt yesterday after you guys went surfing.

“And that’s not the only thing Y/N.” He says with a sad sigh even though he knew his plan was working.

“What?” You ask even more worried while your heart seemed to beat a mile a minute.

“JJ made a bet with John B to see how many girls he can sleep with over the summer. And I’m afraid Y/N that you’re just a quick fuck to raise his score.”

“Hey guys.” Sarah says with a bright smile, getting into the van after coming out of her house. “You guys ready for breakfast?” She asks looking around at her friends in the back seat.

JJ instantly ignores the blondes question and looks out the window at her large house. “Where’s Y/N?” He asks, hoping that you were just going to the washroom quickly or something.

Sarah’s excited smile for breakfast quickly turns into a scowl. “I don’t know she was gone when I woke up. I think my dad said Rafe was driving her home?”

@write-from-the-heart @collecting-stories-main @mk15x @joshy-obx

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itcameuponamidnightqueer · 3 years

Note

fake dating 10, any pairing you want

damie + “please just hold my hand, that person’s basically undressing me with their eyes.”

trope prompts

It’s not that Jamie doesn’t want to be at this school function, it’s just that—

No, that’s a lie. She definitely doesn’t want to be here, and wouldn’t if she weren’t part of the staff. Wouldn’t be here if Dani hadn’t tricked her, really, because Jamie’s usually pretty good about saying no even at work.

“Rebecca’s back from traveling,” Dani had tried, and Jamie said no because who knows how long that’ll last.

“Owen said he’s gonna ask Hannah out,” she’d tried next, and Jamie had actually laughed in her face.

“Someone is actually going to have to physically force those two together,” she’d replied, and Dani’s eyes lit up, prompting her with a quirk of an eyebrow.

In no world does Jamie want to be that person.

Dani had sighed. “Free booze,” she’d grumbled, desperate. Jamie had rolled her eyes and opened the door to her well-stocked liquor cabinet.

Dani had pursed her lips together and turned her face away, almost quick enough for Jamie to miss the grin she was failing to suppress.

If Jamie weren’t constantly on the lookout for that smile, she might have succeeded.

Dani had sighed again, raked a hand through her fluffy, perfect hair, and flopped back on the couch.

“Okay, fine,” she huffed. “You win, don’t come, we’ll hang out over the weekend and I’ll just tell you all about how lonely I was at the party—my first party without Eddie, which everyone will probably be asking me about and I’ll have to field awkward questions all night—”

Jamie scoffed. “And you think I’m going to magically make them not be awkward?”

“No,” Dani answered, a little too quickly. “I think you’d glare at them so hard they wouldn’t even ask me in the first place.”

“I think I’ve just been insulted!”

“No,” Dani laughed, “you just have that whole—” She scrunched her eyebrows together and set her shoulders, curled her lip upwards into an unmistakable hint of a sneer. Her voice, when she spoke, was half an octave lower and at least six countries away from Jamie’s accent. “—’Don’t fuck wiv’ me’ vibe going on,” she finished.

Jamie had taken a few long moments to blink away the urge to kiss her.

“You’ve gotten worse,” she’d finally said. “Almost a year and a half working together and you’ve gotten worse.”

“Come to the party and you can spend the whole time teaching me.”

“Dani.”

“Jamie.”

Her eyes weren’t wide anymore; they’d shrunk back to being shy and vulnerable, the stormy kind of blue that Jamie didn’t ever see unless they were alone. Jamie had spent the better part of a year not acknowledging her feelings for Dani, and she was good at it. Not always good enough to escape Hannah’s shrewd gaze, but enough to where it was a genuine friendship, and she only felt the roar of devotion flare up in the quietest, most private of moments.

Jamie was excellent at controlling her emotions. She’d spent an entire lifetime honing that skill, protecting herself from the surprisingly large amount of people who seemed destined to hurt her.

Jamie had nothing on Dani Clayton.

Dani could suppress any negative feeling until it almost ceased to exist; she had an incredible way of just...willing things not to happen. It had taken months for her to reveal the cracks in her relationship with Eddie, and even then Jamie sat by and watched, completely blown away, by how quickly and how sincerely Dani put the mask back up around people who only wanted to see silk and porcelain. The crazy thing about it was that Dani meant it; Dani gave all of her attention to everyone who asked for it. She didn’t have an insincere bone in her body.

But, god—Jamie’s life had been shit before, and still nothing made her sadder than watching Dani perform.

If all it took for her not to do that was one party, well, she could table the rest of it for later.

She’d picked up her phone and opened up the group chat they had with Hannah, Owen, and Rebecca.

“Right,” she’d groaned, “guess we’ve gotta coordinate who’s driving because the only way I’m getting through this is if I’m very, very drunk.”

And so Jamie finds herself at the not-yet-Christmas, ambiguously-winter end-of-semester party, sticking to Rebecca like a leech while she regales groups of coworkers with the same six stories of her very impulsive, wildly successful trip around the world. Dani, meanwhile, hasn’t been answering any awkward questions, from what Jamie’s heard, and is instead relaxed and popular as she chats with all of their friends.

Jamie almost turned around ten minutes in, once it became clear what the tone of the night would be. But there was no sense in bailing when she was already there and hadn’t driven herself, and—

Who would be there for Dani to look at, every twenty minutes or so, just for reassurance or to check in or whatever kind of comfort she might be seeking. (Jamie doesn’t know for sure what it is. She knows what she hopes it is. But that’s something else for the ‘later’ bag.)

She stays. Jamie stays and drinks and laughs and eventually gets sucked into the party of it all, which is why she’s five minutes into her best story of youthful shenanigans that didn’t end in a visit from the cops, and absolutely doesn’t notice the anxious blonde rushing at her from across the room.

“Hold my hand, hold my hand, hold my hand,” Dani urges, arm outstretched as she speeds closer. She hits Jamie’s elbow when she gets close enough and finally manages to wrestle Jamie’s hand into an iron grip.

Jamie, sufficiently interrupted, stops talking and looks down. “What’s going on here, then?”

Dani takes a deep breath and plasters on the worst attempt at a smile Jamie’s ever seen, which is still pretty good by most peoples’ standards. “Remember all those awkward questions I thought I’d get about Eddie?” she says through clenched teeth.

“Yep.”

“Thought they’d be full of pity, not flirting.”

Jamie’s head shoots up, trying to pick out the offenders, but Dani slaps her elbow again.

“Don’t look!” she hisses. “We have to make this convincing.”

“Make what convincing?” Jamie narrows her eyes and takes a long sip of her drink. “You’re pulling me into some kind of scheme, Poppins, and I know I’ve told you what happened the last time somebody did that…”

Dani laughs, high and fluttery and nervous in the back of her throat. “Please just hold my hand,” she implores. “Nathan is basically undressing me with his eyes but I think you can scare him off if he sees us together.”

“Nathan?” Jamie starts to scan the room again, a little less obviously this time. “Nathan Ford, the school’s sluttiest social studies teacher?”

“Mhm.”

“The same Nathan Ford who’s walking over right now?”

“What!” Dani straightens up, rigid and spooked like a deer in the road. “I can’t believe—I was so careful; is he stalking me?”

The anxiety is short-lived and replaced very quickly with anger once Jamie can no longer hold in her laughter.

“You,” Dani says, prying Jamie’s drink from her other hand, “tricked me.”

“You tricked me first,” Jamie winks.

“I don’t even think he’s in here anymore.”

Jamie shrugs. “Probably not.”

“You made me think I was in so much trouble…”

“You’re always safe with me, Poppins.”

Dani finishes the drink.

The funny thing is, neither of them lets go.

Nathan Ford isn’t the only slutty teacher and it doesn’t take Jamie long to get a glimpse of what Dani’s been dealing with, the men—single and married—who look at her just a little too long, a little too presumptuously. Dani, of course, handles it with grace and charm, and Jamie thinks that maybe she didn’t need her grumpy buffer after all.

She holds tight anyway, just in case.

It’s a dangerous thing to do, parade a fake relationship in front of all of their coworkers, but it doesn’t feel wrong or forced. They’re going on a break soon, Jamie rationalizes. School is going on a two-week break and everyone is drunk and no one is going to remember the scandal of the fourth grade teacher clinging all night to the newest member of the art department. If they do...well, everything can be laughed off or pushed down or forgotten eventually.

So they cling and they talk and Jamie expertly lets every too-interested man know, with absolute certainty, that their efforts should be directed elsewhere. She tickles her fingers against Dani’s, throws in a few isn’t that right, love’s every once in a while, rubs a hand on her back when the moment feels right. And Dani—

Dani invades her space—presses their shoulders together, scratches at the inside of Jamie’s wrist, wipes a stray bit of liquor from the side of her mouth after an untidy sip. Jamie feels all of this and lets it wash over her, lets it sink under her skin and warm her body until she feels like she could start a fire with her hands.

The night winds down and people filter out and eventually there isn’t anyone left to fool. But Dani’s hand is still in hers and Jamie is more than happy to be slow and soft with her. She stays, for the tenth and fifteenth and hundredth time.

It’s just the five of them left, eventually, and they migrate to the bar when the party room in the back seems too large for such a small group. They situate themselves on stools in the corner, and the conversation flows without a hitch. It always has with this group—Owen, Hannah, and Rebecca first, then Dani, then Jamie. She’d tell them all how much it really means to know them if anyone got enough drink in her.

Until then, she’ll scoff at group texts and drag her feet to parties and settle into the fact that they all know it’s for show anyway.

She props her head on her hand and listens, quickly approaching the sleepy part of drinking. She tries not to watch Dani too much while they all talk but it’s difficult—Dani is noticeable at a distance and absolutely striking up close. The curl of her lips as she smiles, the way they overtake her entire face if she means it enough (and she usually does); the laughter that pours out of her and directly into the hearts of anyone lucky enough to be listening; the way her ears look bigger when she hooks her hair behind them, how she only does that when she’s in very comfortable company.

After about thirty minutes, Jamie gets up to retrieve their coats before she does something stupid, like playfully tug at Dani’s earlobe or reach in to straighten the collar on her shirt.

She returns shortly, holding her leather jacket and Dani’s very puffy winter coat, and sits down without a word, content to wait for a natural break in the conversation. She folds the coats over her lap and fiddles with a coaster on the counter.

Dani absently reaches back to still her fingers after about a minute. A simple gesture—resting her hand atop Jamie’s, perhaps swiping her thumb across the back of her hand. Nothing like the displays they’d been putting on earlier. So unlike them, in fact, that Jamie doesn’t notice it at all.

Owen, Hannah, and Rebecca can’t take their eyes off it.

“So, what, were you waiting to tell me until I got back?”

Jamie nurses the dregs of her beer. “Tell you what?”

“This, what is this!” Rebecca exclaims, fluttering her fingers in the direction of Jamie and Dani’s still-clasped hands. “I go gallivanting around the world for an entire year and neither of you mention that you’ve shacked up?”

Jamie and Dani look at their hands, look at each other, and start speaking at the same time.

“We’re not dating, it was just a stupid thing for tonight—”

“Jamie’s doing me a favor since Eddie’s gone and men are creepy—”

“Right, sure.” Rebecca squints and fixes both of them with a sly glance. “It’s just for tonight, to ward off creepy men, which is why you’re still doing it since there are so many of them around now.”

“Must have just gotten used to it,” Dani offers weakly.

“Of course, which is why you still haven’t let go.”

Jamie lets go and tries not to telegraph how much she misses the weight of Dani’s hand.

“You’re definitely not dating,” Rebecca continues, “which is why Jamie got up and got her coat and Dani’s, and left the rest of us hanging.”

Dani looks down and finally notices the coat in Jamie’s lap. “You got my coat?” she asks, furrowing her brow.

“Yeah,” Jamie shrugs. “Seemed like you were ready to go.”

“Yeah, but I was—I was still talking.”

Jamie waves a hand. “You were telling the piano lesson story; you always tell that when you want the night to wind down.”

“No, I—” Dani frowns and retrieves her purse from where it’s hooked around the stool; she rummages through it frantically, her movements loose and messy. “How did you get my coat check ticket?”

“Took that from ya ages ago, Poppins,” Jamie answers. “You were so nervous you were gonna rub the number right off it, and then we’d both be shit outta luck.”

Jamie watches as the expression on Dani’s face morphs, unfurls from stern, puzzled ridges and relaxes into fondness, into twinkling eyes and soft cheeks, a mischievous affection that floors Jamie every time she sees it. Every time, she wonders how many people have been lucky enough to have been on the receiving end of this look, and hopes that the answer is ‘very few’.

“We should, um, probably go,” Dani whispers.

Jamie smiles. “We all drove here together,” she reminds Dani, just as quietly.

Dani slumps back. She reaches for her coat but instead of grabbing it, simply rests her hand on top, like she’s waiting.

Jamie breathes deeply and avoids looking at Rebecca.

“Owen, mate,” she says, daring him to tease her, “maybe you could drop off Dani and me first.”

#the haunting of bly manor #damie #dani x jamie #dani clayton #jamie taylor #can't believe it's taken me this long to jump on the bly manor bandwagon but #here i am boys here i am world!!#as usual: this got out of hand!!!#tumblr fic #long post #anonymous #carments

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hoekageyama · 4 years

Text

cmfrt

yaku morisuke x reader

warnings: nsfw, smut, uhhhh grey sweatpants (ik im sorry ew)

wc: ~3k

a/n: hi hi! this is my first piece, so pls go easy on me ._. this started off as something fluffy bc my desire for yaku content is thru the roof (as it should be), but ofc i got off the rails and went the soft smut route lmao oops. anyway, i hope u enjoy!

~ also! please don’t consume this content if you are not of age, thnx <3 ~

You and Yaku had been best friends for years. Having gone to the same middle school and practically being next door neighbors. Needless to say, you spent a lot of time together; you two were pretty much attached at the hip. So when Yaku told you that he’d also be going to Nekoma for high school, you were pretty excited but not really surprised.

Throughout high school, the two of you spent as much time together as possible, proving to be difficult at times with every ounce of Yaku’s free time being devoured by volleyball and the endless amounts of studying that was required for prepping for uni. All that aside, the two of you always found time for each other. Whether it be little lunch dates on the weekends, small study sessions in the library, or even facetime hangouts when you were both exhausted and too lazy to actually meet up face to face.

It felt like any other Friday when you and Yaku met up in the early morning to walk to school together. “Y/n, did you finish that history report yet? I’m almost done, but I need someone to review it so I don’t look like an idiot when I present on it.” Yaku ran a hand through his light brown hair and looked over to your slightly shorter form.

You turn to Yaku, noticing how his cheeks were slightly flushed due to the cold wind blowing directly in your faces. “Just about. I just need to finish my conclusion, but it shouldn’t take me too long to power through it. Also, yeah, I can take a look at it. No worries.” You turn away after answering the boy, and continue on your walk, thinking that was the end of that conversation. You can feel his gaze on you suddenly, leaving your cheeks to tint to that familiar shade of red. “Thanks. Also… are you free tonight?” he asks with slight notes of hesitation in his voice. You glance at him through the side of your eye noticing his fidgeting hands. “Yea, I’m free. What’s up?”

Without looking at you or answering, he slows his pace until he’s stopped. Standing and gazing out at the trees that lined the roads, watching as the Maple leaves are shed from their branches, showing the first true signs of winter. You stop alongside him and nudge him slightly with your elbow, “Why’d you ask so suddenly, Mori? Something up?”

He jumps slightly being pulled from his thoughts. He glances over at you, “Oh, uh, no reason really. I was just wondering if you’d wanna come over tonight to study and hangout. We can chill and watch movies like the old times. I have the house to myself and all so…” When you see his raised eyebrow and sly smirk grace his features, you feel your face heat up slightly.

You turn to him giggling, “Oooooh, Mori! I didn’t know you could be such a flirt!” He wraps an arm around your shoulders and forces you to start walking again. “If that’s what you call flirting, then the guys you talk to must be braindead.” He pulls you a little closer into his chest, laughing along with you now. You nuzzle your head into his chest, breathing in his familiar scent, “Of course I’ll come. As long as you treat me to some takeout tonight.” He nods and smiles, looking at your slightly smaller form clinging to his for warmth. “Deal. We can stop by the store on our walk home, and I’ll get you whatever ya want.” You only nod in agreement, leaving the two of you to walk the rest of the way in a comfortable silence.

As the day moved on, you found yourself getting a bit anxious for your hangout with your best friend. It’s not like you haven’t slept over at his house before. In fact, you and Yaku practically slept at each other’s houses every weekend for as long as you can remember. But what was so different now? Oh yeah, that’s right. It’s because now you were painfully aware of your burning crush on the mighty libero.

The final bell signaling the day’s end rings as you make your way through the double doors of Nekoma. Making your way towards the gym, you see Kuroo and Kai standing by the entrance chatting. “Yo Tets! Kai! You guys seen Mori anywhere?” The two both wave in greeting as you move closer to the duo. “Yea, I think he’s getting changed right now. Should be out in a bit.” Kai states. “You two still aren’t dating yet? You guys act like you're married already.” says Kuroo, rustling your hair. “Oh shut uuuuup already.” you hear Yaku groan from inside the gym. “You’re so worried about our relationship when you can barely hold a conversation with a girl without looking like a nerd.” Yaku scoffs, punching Kuroo’s arm.

The four of you eventually split off into your own groups, making your way home for the weekend. The walk home doesn’t take very long. It’s filled with Yaku telling you about Kuroo’s horrible chemistry pickup lines and complaining about the test you both had coming up. Midway through, you both stopped at the store, picking out ample snacks for your movie night and some dinner for later.

Upon finally trudging through the icy winds, you arrive at Yaku’s house. He unlocks the door, but steps aside to let you in first. “What a gentleman!” you say jokingly as he laughs from your reaction. You slide your shoes off at the door and make a beeline straight for Yaku’s bedroom, plastic bag filled with goodies in hand. Yaku lets out a happy sigh and soon follows suit.

Once in Yaku’s room, you lie face down on his bed groaning. “What’s wrong now, princess?” he asks as he closes the door. Plopping down on the bed next to you with two juice pouches already in hand he nudges you gently to sit up. “I completely forgot to stop by my house to pick up clothes for tonight. All I have in my bag are gym clothes.” you sigh in exasperation as you take the pouch from his cold hands.

“Oh stop. You know you can always just use some of my clothes.” he shrugs while taking a sip of his juice. “I mean.. You’ve done it before. It’s not that big of a deal. I- if you’re ok with it, that is.” he says looking over to you, waiting for your response. You nod in response moving to lie in his lap.

If you didn’t know Yaku well enough, you wouldn’t have noticed the way he tenses slightly, ears the tiniest bit redder than they were moments ago braving the cold of the outside world. “Well then, get me something comfy because I need to get out of this skirt asap!” you say brushing down the edges of your skirt, putting them into place. “I’ll say..” he mumbles. You barely heard it, but it makes your cheeks grow a little red.

After you both finish your drink, you see him disappear into his closet only to emerge moments later with two sets of clothes in hand. He tosses a black t-shirt and a pair of red shorts to you on the bed. Both of which, landing right on top of your face. “I’ll go shower up first since I don’t take ages like some people.” he says with a smirk as he reaches the door.

You giggle hearing his mocking tone “Ok that was one time! And to be fair, it was all your fault. My hair smelled like Yakuult for days after!” He blushes slightly remembering the incident, but chooses to only shake his head laughing to himself as he continues his pursuit for the bathroom.

You lie in his bed scrolling through some app on your phone when you hear the door open. Yaku returns, toweling off his lightly dampened hair, clad in just a pair of grey sweatpants that seem to barely hand onto his waist. You feel your thighs press together tightly as he throws a hoodie on, turning to see your flustered state. “What? Am I too hot for ya?” he asks, wiggling his eyebrows. “Oh shut up!” you groan, rushing passed him and right out the door. You quickly hop into the shower once in the bathroom to cool off your burning cheeks, praying that you can keep it together for the rest of the night.

Soon enough, you’re all dry, dressed, and heading for Yaku’s room. As you close the door, you see Yaku sitting at his desk running his fingers through his hair. Yaku had been working on his history paper while you were in the shower, and it seems he isn’t making much progress. You grab your back and move to sit by him, brushing against his leg with your own on the way down. He feels a shiver rush down his spine at the sudden delicate touch. “You ok, Mor?” you ask when you see him nodding profusely in response. “Yeah just can’t get this paper done. It’s like my mind is racing, but I can’t focus.” You rub his back and lean over to view his paper in front of him. The way you’re positioned isn’t helping Yaku’s brain one bit.

Yaku places a hand on your lower back, ogling at the way your back arches naturally reacting to his touch. He smooths out the back of your shirt, admiring the swell of your ass. He flushes a bit, feeling a dull throb and a tightness beginning to form in his sweatpants, when he notices how short you made the shorts after rolling the waistband up a few times to ensure they’d fit.

You subconsciously rub your thighs together a little while reading through his history report. You hoped that Yaku wouldn’t notice, but unlucky for you he did. He continued rubbing your back, slightly lowering his hand little by little until you felt his rough hand caress your ass. You turned around to look at him, but were met with eyes glazed over in lust. “Hey Mor, you ok?” you ask confused. “I’m fine, baby. Sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.” he says as he drops his hand into his lap in an attempt to conceal the bulge that began growing in his sweats. You shake your head giggling, moving back to your original position next to him. “Nah it’s all good, babe. Just…” you lose all train of thought you possibly had when you glance down and notice the outline of something in his sweatpants. “Hey, y/n, listen. I’m really sorry! I didn’t mean for this to happen, I promise. I- I just think you look really good in my clothes…. Sorry.” he quickly spits out.

He began shuffling to get up from you when you reach out and clamp a hand around his wrist. “Why are you apologizing, babe? I should probably be the one apologizing. Especially when you’ve made me like this.” you say bashfully, leading his hand to the wet spot that was now visible in the red shorts you wore. He groaned upon feeling the dampness. “What’s all this, princess? Why so wet already?” he coos into your ear, continuing to rub his rough hands against your clothed core.

After building up the courage to get this far, you threw all caution to the wind. “You, Mori. Fuck! I want you to touch me, please.” you let out a little moan as you palmed him through his sweats. You could tell just how hard he was through his pants. “Fuck, baby, I’ll do whatever you want. Just please let me fuck you.” he groans when you press a little harder onto his hardened cock.

Everything that happened next was a blur. Lips smashed together, tongues dancing, teeth clashing every now and then. You finally part lips, gasping for air as he tugs his hoodie off over his head. You follow suit, removing your shirt and shorts, leaving you standing nearly bare in between his legs as he lounged in his desk chair.

His eyes never leave yours as he unhooks your bra, allowing it to fall to the floor with a thud. His hands smooth over your breasts, rolling and pinching a nipple in between the rough pads of his fingers. He places open mouthed kisses from your jawline down to the swell of your breasts. Leaning back to take in the view once more he groans, saying, “You’re so beautiful, baby. I can’t believe you’ve been hiding these from me all this time.” you only moan as he moves in to nip at one of your pert nipples. Your hands immediately reach for his light brown locks and begin to tug in response to the stimulation.

His hands move to your lower body pulling off your lace underwear until they drop to the floor. You kick them aside before he grips your hips tightly. “Mo- Mori please, let me ride your cock.” you say through moans as he lightly trails a finger through your soaked folds. He removes his mouth from your chest with a lewd popping sound. He stands up to pull his sweats lower and sits back down in his seat. You take a moment to ogle at the sight before you. His cock, painfully hard, dripping precum from the swollen head. You grab his shoulders and move in to kiss him as his grip returns to your hips.

He hoists you up onto his lap, making you straddle the length in his lap. When your wet core makes contact with the length below you, you let out a lewd moan and grind in his lap. He hisses at the contact and tightens his grip on you to stop you from moving. “Patience, princess.” he groans out as you finally stop your ministrations. He lifts you slightly, aligning himself with your hole before looking up to you for approval. You simply nod your head and lower yourself onto his cock little by little. It isn’t too above average in length, but damn did he make up for it in girth.

You both hiss at the feeling of him being sheathed completely inside your tight cunt, neither of you moving to allow for you both to regain some composure. “Fuck baby, you’re so tight!” he groans, “Just let me know when you want to start moving.” You only nod your head, savoring the delicious stretch in your core.

As soon as you regain your bearings, you look up to him with glazed eyes, “Mori, mo- move please.” He attaches your mouth to his and gently lifts you, gripping your ass tightly. Before long, he let you take control. The pace you set is slow at first while you kiss him tenderly, running a hand through his hair, tugging gently every so often. His cock hits a particularly sensitive spot inside you, causing you to erupt in another lewd moan of his name. You feel him twitch inside you, he speeds up the pace a bit bringing your ass down harder each time he lifts you.

Before long you feel that familiar heat in your core building inside you. “Ah fuck, I’m c- close” you moan out as he snaps his hips up to meet yours. The sound of his balls slapping your ass is nearly enough to set you off, but when he reaches a hand down to place sloppy circles around your clit. The coil of heat building up finally snaps, and you’re thrown head first into the bliss of ecstasy.

Yaku groans feeling you tighten around his length. He continues fucking you through your high, and his pace begins to get sloppy before he pulls out frantically. Before he can ask you, you get on your knees in front of him and take him into your mouth. He hisses at the feeling of your tongue gliding over his swollen head and throws his head back in pleasure. With one hand in your hair, he pulls you lower onto his cock as he bursts ribbons of heat down the back of your throat.

After removing himself from your mouth and tucking himself back into his sweats, he pulls you back into his lap. He places a gentle kiss on your lips, holding you tightly in his arms. “Mori, I’m cooooooold.” you whine into his shoulder. “Let’s get you cleaned up and ready for bed, huh?”

He moves you onto his bed and quickly disappears to the bathroom. You see him return with a damp washcloth and a cup of water in hand. You let him clean you off as you look around the room for your clothes. “I’ll get you some new clothes ok? Just relax and drink your water while I put these washing.” he says, motioning to the pile of clothes on the floor. He hands you some garments and you quickly get dressed as he moves about the house.

He later returns, only to see you waiting for him with the takeout you had gotten earlier. He plops down beside on the bed for the second time tonight and pulls you into a hasty kiss. “You’re mine, right? I love you so much. I’ve dreamt of this for years. Please stay with me.” he says as he looks deep into your e/c eyes, while cupping your cheeks with his hands. “How can I say no?” you giggle, smashing your lips into his once more before chowing down on your takeout meals. The rest of the night is spent with the two of you cuddled up watching terrible rom-coms. The history report, long forgotten. That can wait for tomorrow.

- again, i’m so sorry at how trashy this is written lmaodfadfj

- if u did read it tho, tysm! ily & maybe send me some suggestions on what to write next. i’m down for whatever rlly. i’m trying to write more often so this is kinda just a warm up for now.

#yaku #yaku morisuke #yaku x yn #yaku x reader #yaku morisuke x reader #yaku morisuke x yn #yaku smut #yaku morisuke smut #all these tags make my head hurt #hoekageyama #haikyuu smut #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x yn #yaku.txt #hq.txt #hq_xx.txt #maddlibs

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sachigram · 3 years

Text

With Teeth Chapter 4

((click here to read on ao3!))

The next few days pass by normally for Shizuo. He's been making more of an effort to be social, doesn't want to make his friends feel left out of his life. He could see how it hurt them before when he pushed them away. As a result, he has more things to do, and he feels better than he has in ages.

Tonight, he's sitting across from Tom, next to Vorona. They're all having drinks to celebrate a successful week at work, and Shizuo is looking forward to the weekend. He doesn't have any plans on his off days, but he likes not having to worry about tracking down some low-life, even if he's only free of it two days a week.

“Any plans this weekend?” Tom asks them both. He's flushed, clearly tipsy already. Shizuo has a high tolerance, and he's pretty sure Vorona does too, because she's drinking faster than either of them, and she seems perfectly sober.

“Negative,” Vorona replies while Shizuo merely shakes his head. “I may go to the bookstore tomorrow.”

“Your checks all go to books,” Tom says. “You should live a little.”

“To acquire knowledge is life's goal.”

Tom looks from her to Shizuo and raises his eyebrows. Immediately, Shizuo feels like Tom is about to do something stupid.

“Why don't the two of you hang out together? Since neither of you have plans.” Tom sips his drink, a smug look of satisfaction on his face. Shizuo's blood boils.

“I—“ he starts, but is interrupted when Vorona speaks.

“That would be nice.”

“Huh?” Shizuo asks, turning to face her. She's looking at him with her usual indifferent gaze, not the least bit affronted by the idea.

“If it would be agreeable for Shizuo-senpai, I see no reason we cannot meet tomorrow,” Vorona says, and she tosses back the rest of her drink. It's straight gin, no mixer, no rocks, but she doesn't even flinch. Just the smell of it has been burning Shizuo's nose.

“Oh, um. If you want to,” Shizuo says, unsure of what's even happening.

“So it's a date then,” Tom announces, and he goes to get them all more drinks.

***

“You shouldn't have done that,” Shizuo grumbles later, after Vorona has split away from them to go catch her train. “You made her feel like she had to agree.”

“Shizuo, come on, man. How do you miss the way she looks at you? She's had a thing for you since she started working with us.” Tom is stumbling a bit as he walks, and Shizuo considers letting him face-plant if he falls.

“She does not. And even if she did, what the hell am I supposed to do about it?”

Tom looks up at Shizuo, giving him such an incredulous look that it's almost reminisce of the way the flea looks at him.

“What are you supposed to do about it?” Tom repeats, and then he laughs. “Oh, my god. You're killing me.”

“Shut up, you know what I mean. I'm not someone that anyone should have a thing for. I'm dangerous, and it's only gotten worse.” Shizuo looks up at the sky, sees the lights of airplanes flying overhead. “I don't want to hurt her.”

“You don't hurt people who don't deserve it,” Tom replies, and Shizuo thinks of that strange dream he had before, the one where Izaya was there, seeing his worst memory. “Give yourself some credit, would you? Have fun. Try to be happy.”

“I am trying. This is a bad idea.”

“Well, too late now. If you stand her up, you really will be an asshole,” Tom says, and then he falls on his face. Shizuo makes no move to help him up.

Shizuo doesn't sleep that night. He's too anxious about his “date” with Vorona, has no idea what they'll do or what they'll talk about. He's tried before to think of himself as the kind of guy who would be lucky enough to have a pretty girl on his arm, but it's always too much of a fantasy, something unattainable and pointless to hope for. Vorona is strong, and she's seen him fight, knows what he's capable of, but it's different to behold someone dangerous from the sidelines and then up close, when it's turned on you. He imagines her look of indifference changing to real fear when he lunges at her, and he doesn't realize until he's waking up that he actually managed to slip into unconsciousness.

“Fuck.” He gets up from the bed, moving to the bathroom to splash cold water on his face. He's terrified of what will come, of what he is. More than anything, he's sick of being so terrified. His reflection is older, maybe wiser, but all Shizuo can see is that same snotty kid who hurt someone he wanted to protect once.

***

He meets Vorona at the train station. She's dressed the same as she always is, and he's grateful she didn't do anything different in her routine for his sake. She lifts a hand in greeting, studying his face.

“You appear tired,” she says.

“Yeah. Didn't sleep well last night. Sorry.”

“No apology necessary. Perhaps we could get coffee first, both wake up a little more.”

As it turns out, following Vorona around isn't too different from trailing after Tom. She doesn't talk nearly as much, but she doesn't seem to mind taking the lead, and she doesn't take his silence as disinterest. They wind up going to the bookstore Vorona mentioned, grabbing coffee from a little kiosk outside before wandering the aisles. Vorona picks up a book every now and then, explains it to Shizuo in a way he can understand without being pretentious about it, and he finds that he's actually enjoying himself.

After Vorona purchases some new books, they make their way down the street to a restaurant she says she's been wanting to try. This is the part Shizuo was worried about, having to sit alone with her and have her realize he's got absolutely nothing interesting to say, but they manage to keep the conversation going. It's easier than Shizuo expected, and he finds himself thinking he should thank Tom later for setting this up.

“You seem happier than before,” Vorona says when they're walking out of the restaurant. “You were so quiet for so long.”

Shizuo opens his mouth to ask what she means, but he thinks he knows. He was feeling sorry for himself after the bite, wanted to keep everyone out, pushed them away. He is happier now than he was then, but he's still a coward, and he's still scared of anyone learning his secret.

“I'm better now,” he says, feeling that it's true.

“I am very glad,” she replies, and she gives him a rare smile.

That night, as Shizuo walks home after escorting Vorona to the train station, he feels his phone vibrating in his pocket.

“Yo,” he says, picking up the call.

“How did it go?” Tom asks.

“It was...nice,” Shizuo says. He can practically feel Tom's frustrations through the phone.

“Nice? That's not telling me anything!”

“We had a good time. It was much better than I thought it would be.”

“I guess that's all I'm going to get from you. Either way, I'm glad. I think you'll both be good for each other.”

“Yeah,” Shizuo replies. For the first time in his life, he can picture a girl on his arm. “Me too.”

***

The days that follow are slow, but enjoyable. Shizuo goes to work, hangs out with Tom and Vorona, makes plans to spend time with Vorona again on the upcoming weekend. He's almost able to forget all about his ailment, and the bullshit alliance he has with Izaya, who has been silent since storming out of his place the morning after the full moon. Shizuo will have to see him soon so he can stock back up on his potion, and he's not looking forward to it. Part of him worries what Izaya might do if he learns Shizuo is dating Vorona. Izaya wants to ruin every good thing in Shizuo's life. There's no way he wouldn't interfere.

Still, Shizuo is enjoying his period of peace. He's able to sidestep his involuntary entanglement with the other world, with Izaya. He's enjoying feeling like himself again, whoever that may be.

Friday night, before his date with Vorona on Saturday, he's able to find sleep easily, but it doesn't feel like sleeping. He closes his eyes in his room, opens them somewhere else. He hears the sounds of crying, of screaming, and while he should move away from it, he finds himself moving closer. There's a familiar scene before him, one of himself standing in front of a small boy cowering in a corner while two toddlers scream in their cribs. It feels like he's been here before, but he can't place why, not until the small boy looks up at him.

“Izaya,” Shizuo breathes. He doesn't know his own age here, but he can see how small Izaya is, how scared. It's unsettling. Shizuo has never seen fear on Izaya's face before.

“Who are you?” Izaya asks him, looking up at him with wonder.

“You don't know me?” Shizuo asks in disbelief. Izaya has his webs of deceit stretched over everything, over everyone, so time and space probably mean nothing to him either. But when Izaya shakes his head, Shizuo finds he instantly believes him.

“Am I dreaming?” Izaya looks around. “Are you a vision? You're not a ghost, right?”

“No,” Shizuo says. “I'm dreaming. I don't know what the fuck you're doing. You're a witch, right? You've gotta be the one doing something.”

Izaya flinches at the word “witch”, and he looks nervously around himself before looking back up at Shizuo.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Shizuo snaps, and Izaya flinches even more. Shizuo feels concern for the kid in front of him, even knowing who he is, or at least who he'll grow up to be. Is this real? It's not real; it can't be real. It's a dream, one of those lucid dreams he's heard about. He'll ask Shinra about it later.

“Your mind is loud,” Izaya says, and he stands up, padding across the floor to stand in front of Shizuo. How is the flea so tall? He's a small kid, can't be more than twelve if the twins are still toddlers, but Shizuo is looking in Izaya's eyes. Izaya snorts, amused. “I'm not tall. You're the same height as me.”

Shizuo looks down at himself, realizes he's a kid here, too, but with all his memories of the future. He looks back at Izaya, dubious of him, and the amusement drains from Izaya's face.

“You really don't like me,” Izaya says, and he fidgets.

“You ruined my life,” Shizuo spits. “Or you will, anyway.”

“Oh.” Izaya's voice is small. “I've sensed terrible things to come in the future. Things for myself, especially, but I don't know how to stop any of it. I don't think it can be stopped.”

“The future is shitty already, but you make it worse. You enjoy making people suffer. The Izaya I know is—“ Shizuo stops himself, realizes he was yelling. Izaya seems terrified of him, but also curious, his eyes shining even in the darkness of the room.

“You're the realest vision I've ever had,” Izaya says. “I hope I remember you. I forget them sometimes when they're over.” The lights of the room begin flickering on and off, and Izaya puts his hands over his ears. “Go away!” he shouts towards the corner of the room.

“What's happening? Who's doing this?” Shizuo asks, feeling like he should protect this child version of his greatest enemy. The Izaya before him is just a kid, and Shizuo doesn't know how or why, but he can feel how incredibly lonely Izaya is.

“A ghost,” Izaya replies, and he narrows his eyes at Shizuo as if daring him to argue. “I see them all the time, and they want me to help them, but I don't know how. They won't listen to me when I say that.”

“Where are your parents?”

Izaya shrugs, and Shizuo feels rage boiling inside him. He remembers hearing from Shinra once that Izaya's parents were never around, that Izaya raised the twins practically on his own. Mairu and Kururi are weird, certainly, and Shizuo isn't fond of the idea of letting them anywhere near his own brother, but he think they're good kids, all things considered, especially if this is how they were raised.

“My grandparents are around,” Izaya says, seeming to read Shizuo's thoughts. “Or, they will be tomorrow. They already came by today to bring food.”

“That's so fucked up,” Shizuo blurts, and to his surprise, Izaya smiles.

“My parents aren't bad people. They're incredibly busy, and they weren't expecting to have more kids.” Izaya looks to the the twins, who are watching him, still warbling even though the lights have stopped flickering for now. Their little hands are reaching towards him through the bars of their cribs. “As for my grandparents, they're not in great health. They can't do much to help aside from cooking and checking in every now and then.”

“Sounds like a lot of excuses,” Shizuo says, thinking of his own family. His mother never even wanted to leave their family overnight, much less weeks, months at a time. Izaya shrugs again.

“Maybe so. It doesn't matter much to me anymore. They never listened to me even when they were here.” Izaya studies Shizuo for a moment. “Your mind is—“

“Loud, yeah. You keep saying that.”

“It's more than that! It's like static and whirlwind mixed together. I can feel you wanting me out of your head, but you keep letting me back in, pulling me in, really. It's like you want me to hear you.”

“I don't,” Shizuo says flatly. “How are you doing any of this, anyway? I'm not anywhere near you in the present right now. Why are we sharing the same dream?”

“How should I know? I was born with this power, but I don't know how to use it all yet,” Izaya says, and Shizuo frowns at him, wants to bring up the future and all the terrible things Izaya will do once he does master his stupid power, but it would be pointless. This Izaya has no idea of the future, probably isn't even real. This is a dream, probably, Shizuo's brain attempting to humanize the flea.

“You called me a witch,” Izaya murmurs, more to himself than to Shizuo.

“That's what you call yourself,” Shizuo says.

“I've never had a word for it before. I just knew I was...different. People romanticize it, you know, being different from everyone else. Standing out. Maybe for a while, it was fun. But lately I'm like an island in myself, and every day the distance to the mainland grows.” Izaya pauses, as if hearing himself say so out loud is illuminating in some way. “I'm being dramatic, aren't I? I didn't mean to say any of that.”

“I know what you mean,” Shizuo finds himself saying. He doesn't elaborate, but he doesn't really have to. He can feel Izaya in his head, like a prickle on the edges of his subconscious.

“Why aren't we friends?” Izaya asks, and the question is so earnest, so innocent, that Shizuo finds himself bolting upright in his bed, jerked back into wakefulness.

“Fuck these fucking dreams,” he hisses, rolling over to check his phone. It's a little after seven in the morning, an hour before his alarm was set to go off. He's already got a message from Vorona, telling him she's looking forward to their outing.

He doesn't know why he can't get Izaya's face out of his mind.

***

Shizuo's second date with Vorona goes well.

They meet at Sunshine 60, have some drinks with their food. Conversation comes easier this time, and there's hardly any silence between them. While they walk, Shizuo finds her hand in his, and he doesn't hate it. Her hand is soft, but not too soft. She has the same callused hands he does, and it reminds him that she can take care of herself, that she can handle him, so long as he's careful to remain human around her.

He drank enough to have a little bit of a buzz going as they make their way up towards the observatory. Vorona says she hasn't seen it yet, and wants to. It reminds Shizuo that this is the sort of thing people who visit Ikebukuro find exciting, while it remains mundane to the locals. He trails after her as they walk, and he doesn't know why he notices a familiar face off to the side, outside a comic book store, but he does notice, and he stops in his tracks. Vorona looks up at him questioningly.

“What is it?” she asks.

“Hey, I'll meet you up there. I need to ask someone something really quick.”

Vorona studies him. “Affirmative. I will go on ahead.”

Shizuo watches her go for a moment, and then he turns back to the comic book store, making his way through the crowd. A redheaded man is leaning against the building, his arms crossed. He grins up at Shizuo when he notices his approach.

“Well, well. Heiwajima Shizuo. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I don't remember your name,” Shizuo says bluntly, and the man laughs.

“Yeah, why would you? I'm sure you've got more pressing things to manage these days. You can call me Akabayashi, if you bother to remember it.”

Shizuo recognizes him from all that shit with Akane. Akabayashi also was there with the twins that day at the dojo, Vorona's first day of work.

“You know, don't you?” Shizuo asks, keeping his voice low. Akabayashi raises an eyebrow.

“You'll have to be more specific.”

“Cut the shit. You know what I am, and you know who did it. I wanna know why.”

“Well, let's see,” Akabayashi says, scratching his chin. “As I recall, you don't keep your head down much. In fact, you've gotten involved in plenty of things you shouldn't have been. You know that already, so your pressing question really is who, isn't it?”

“I already know Izaya ordered it. I wanna know who it was that did the dirty work.” Shizuo glowers at Akabayashi, hating how amused the man seems. He's not scared of Shizuo in the least. It's refreshing, but it's also irritating.

“Don't make assumptions that we take orders from the likes of that brat. Anyway, yeah, I know who did it, and so would you, if you saw him. He's laying low for now, under orders. I can't give you a name. You understand.”

“Bullshit, I do!” Shizuo snaps, and he lifts Akabayashi up by the collar of his suit. “Give me a name, dammit! It's the least you fuckers can do after you all stood back and let me turn into this— thing!”

“This is the problem with youngsters like you. You're too emotional. It's okay, kid, I was like that before, too, but this city has a way of beating passion right out of you.” Akabayashi doesn't seems concerned at all, even as his feet dangle. In fact, he looks like he's having a blast. “You'll know in due time. A little patience would do you good.”

“It's been seven months,” Shizuo says, offended at the idea he hasn't been too patient already.

“And? What do you want, a medal?”

“You fucker—“

“They had it! They really had it!” A small, excited voice says, and Shizuo finds himself looking down into the wide eyes of Awakusu Akane. She's carrying a bag from the store, clearly over the moon about her purchase.

“I'm glad,” Akabayashi says. “You can tell me all about that story of yours while we get lunch.”

“Shizuo-san...” Akane whimpers, and Shizuo releases Akabayashi. “You're not here to fight, right?”

“I was thinking about it,” Shizuo admits, “but I decided against it.”

“I'm not ready to fight you yet!” Akane says, her voice more determined now. “But I will be! I'm trying extra hard at the dojo, and I can challenge you soon!”

“I look forward to it. Just don't work too hard, okay? Getting strong means taking it easy sometimes, too,” Shizuo says, putting a hand on her head.

“Right! I'll do my best!”

“Anything else, or can I take the little miss to our lunch date?” Akabayashi asks, and Shizuo glares at him.

“I'll ask you again later.”

“Go for it! Maybe I'll give you an answer. Maybe you could ask that information broker friend of yours, too.” Akabayashi turns on his heel, pulling Akane along with him with one hand, his cane in the other. “Or then again, steer clear of that one. He's not right in the head.”

“Bye, Shizuo-san!”

Shizuo growls after them, and then he goes to meet Vorona. Akabayashi was right; Shizuo does have more pressing things to worry about.

***

After parting ways with Vorona at the train station again, Shizuo considers going to see Shinra and asking about the dreams he's been having, but he decides he'll do it later. He had a good day, and he doesn't want Shinra dampening it with his overstepping. Especially while Shizuo has something else even more terrible to deal with.

He knocks, and it takes a few moments for the door to open. Finally, an irate brunette appears, glaring at Shizuo.

“What do you want now?” she asks, and her voice sounds accusatory, as if Shizuo is interrupting more than just her current peace.

“I'm here to see Izaya,” Shizuo says, and she rolls her eyes.

“I didn't think you were here for anything else. Come in, I guess.” She steps to the side, allowing Shizuo inside. He doesn't see Izaya anywhere.

“He left something for you,” she says, moving to the corner. She emerges with a large box in her arms, and she shuffles towards Shizuo, letting him take it from her. “He said he knew you were coming, and that he didn't want to see you.”

“Of course,” Shizuo spits, taking the box that's filled with his potions. He doesn't know why he expected to see Izaya here, why he's disappointed he didn't.

“Please tell me you didn't give him anything to use against you,” the woman says. Shizuo frowns at her.

“What was your name again?” he asks.

“Is that really relevant? I'm your mortal enemy's secretary, and I also hate him. Watching him be angry about you is one of my few joys in life.”

“That's pathetic,” Shizuo says, feeling a vindictive sort of satisfaction when her lip curls at him.

“I wasn't looking for your approval. Answer my question.”

“Where is Izaya?” Shizuo asks, bypassing her and her scrutiny.

“Does it matter? Out. I thought you'd be happy. Now answer me, dammit. What's he holding over your head? Is it worth seeing him so frequently? To my understanding, the two of you only crossed paths before by accident, and it was always antagonistic.”

“If you hate him so much, you shouldn't work for him,” Shizuo snaps, disliking her and her unwanted insight into his life. “You seem capable enough to handle yourself. What do you need him for?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” she says flatly, and he scoffs.

“Yeah? Well, I asked you first. The thing is, we both know what we're getting from him, right? And neither of us feel the need to share it with anyone else.”

“Whatever. Sue me for wondering. I won't take pity on you again.”

Shizuo is all but shoved from the apartment, the box of potion vials in his arms. He doesn't like anything about the way he feels, but he trudges home, his stomach in knots the entire way. Not seeing Izaya feels like an omen of sorts, like a harbinger of things to come.

***

He dreams later, first of nothing, and then of that same room, of the twins screaming in their cribs, and Izaya crying out in fear. It seems like the slate has been wiped clean, like this version of Izaya never spoke to any version of Shizuo. But that's accurate, isn't it? This is all pretend. It's all just a dream.

“Why do you keep coming back here?” Izaya's voice asks, and when Shizuo meets his eyes, it's the present version of Izaya. He's standing in the corner, right beside his past self, who doesn't seem to be able to see either of them now.

“I don't know,” Shizuo says. He's not a kid this time. He's towering over Izaya, but of course Izaya isn't backing down. “How are you doing this?”

“Me?” Izaya asks, incredulous. “How am I doing what? You're the one spying on my past.”

“I'm not the one with magic!” Shizuo roars. “Don't act like I'm invading your privacy, not when you're the one who's always linking us. It's not my fault that it goes both ways.”

Izaya pales, as if this thought only just occurred to him. He recovers quickly, schooling his features, turning away from Shizuo in a show of nonchalance.

“You got what you wanted from me. You got your potions, the ones that keep you so fucking tame—“

“Who are you to tell me what I want?” Shizuo interjects. “I never wanted to deal with you at all, especially so frequently. And even then, you couldn't leave well enough alone, right? You had to start haunting my dreams, too.”

When their eyes meet again, Shizuo is filled with a sudden onslaught of understanding, thoughts he knows aren't his own. Izaya isn't doing this on purpose, doesn't know how it keeps happening, doesn't like it any more than Shizuo does. Shizuo's mind is almost impossible for Izaya to pull away from, like a black hole, and even with Izaya trying to pull back, Shizuo doesn't seem to be allowing it. In fact, Shizuo is strengthening the link by being here, by interacting with Izaya's past. He's the one pulling Izaya in, like a child in desperate need of company.

“That's not true,” Shizuo growls, not appreciating Izaya's comparison. He can't help looking over to the younger version of Izaya, who is still crying pitifully. Shizuo feels the need to protect him from his future self's callous words, too, even if he can't seem to hear anything other than the twins and the ghost terrorizing them.

“In case you haven't noticed, I have been leaving you alone. I'm incredibly busy, and every time I actually manage to sleep, here you are, poking around. Snooping. Don't you have better things to do, like entertain that Matryoshka doll of yours?” Izaya asks, and Shizuo whirls back to face him, his mouth a twisted snarl of rage.

“Don't you fucking talk to me about her.”

“Don't talk to me at all. Get the fuck out!” Izaya shouts, and the door behind Shizuo opens. He's yanked backwards by an incredible force, and he falls through the doorway. He keeps falling through black nothingness, images flashing before his eyes as he does, memories he knows aren't his own. He tries to grab onto them, tries to make sense of any of them, but he can't. They're gone as soon as they appear.

Right before he hits whatever ground is below, he jerks awake, finds he's twisted himself into his sheets and managed to topple over into the floor. Cursing, he untangles himself, and he thinks back to the dream, at least, the parts of it he can remember. The image of a young, nervous Izaya talking to older men in fine suits is at the forefront of his mind.

Miles away, he knows Izaya is awake, too.

#with teeth fic #shizaya #Shizuo Heiwajima #Izaya Orihara #werewolf shizuo #witchy izaya

24 notes · View notes

ohmyjinsus · 3 years

Text

that’s what friends do

kim hanbin x female! reader

college! au (non idol) || 7.7k

mostly fluff, quite a bit of swearing, some suggestive themes, pretty much just friends to lovers nonsense because I’m a sucker for that

summary: you’re drunk and locked out of your apartment so what do you do? call your best friend hanbin, who you just happen to be in love with, and stay the night at his place, what could go wrong?

“I’m not drunk.”

“You definitely are.”

You roll your eyes. You’re in your best friend’s apartment, with her partner and some of your other friends. It’s a Friday night, and you wanted to celebrate the end of the week. However, your best friend doesn’t drink, so she’s mostly been watching you and laughing at all the dumb things you say.

“Are you ready to go home?” She asks. “I can drive you. I don’t want you wandering around in the dark.”

“Are you trying to get rid of me?”

“You know I’m going home for the weekend, I don’t want to get there in the middle of the night.” You can’t argue with that. You know she’s been missing her family recently, and you don’t want to take away from her time with them.

“Okay,” you grab your bag, pulling out your phone. “Let’s go.” She smiles and goes to get her stuff.

When she’s ready, she leads you out to her car. You sit in the back, since her S.O. always gets to ride shotgun. Your single ass can’t relate.

It’s a short drive, so you just hang out in the back while the two of them talk. You’re thinking about what to do when you get home. You texted Hanbin earlier, asking if you two could study tomorrow. He hasn’t replied yet, so maybe you’ll bother him. You hate being drunk and alone. When your friend pulls into your driveway, you reach into your bag for your keys.

“It was lovely seeing you again, y/n.”

“Yeah, you too,” you reply. You can’t feel them anywhere. You turn on your phone flashlight to get a better look.

“What’s wrong?” Your friend asks. You shake your head.

“I can’t find my keys.”

“You’re joking,” she says.

“I wish I was.” She reaches out her hand so you give her your bag. She pokes around in there for a little while before coming to the same conclusion.

“You’re so dumb.” She’s not wrong. “Call your roommate, she’ll let you in.”

“She’s at her boyfriend’s tonight...” You’re getting anxious now. You don’t know what to do.

“Oh my god,” your friend hits the steering wheel. “What do we do with you?”

“Can’t she stay with your roommates?” Her partner asks. The two of you shake your heads.

“I don’t trust them to take care of her,” your friend says. “They’re good people, but y/n can be way too flirty when she’s drunk. I don’t want her sleeping with one of them.” That’s a valid point.

“I don’t have any other friends-” you start to say when it hits you. “HANBIN.”

“Who?” Your friend asks.

“You know him!” You unlock your phone so you can call him.

“Is that the guy you’re always studying with?”

“Yes!” You scroll to Hanbin’s contact icon and click it. “I’ve slept at his place before, he won’t mind.”

“Is this a good idea?” Your friend asks. “Having you sleep at a boy’s house while drunk?” You don’t answer her because Hanbin picks up right at that moment.

“y/n,” he says. “What’s up?”

“Okay, this is going to sound weird,” you reply. Your friend laughs. “I’m a little drunk and I got locked out of my apartment and I need somewhere to stay so could I maybe sleep at yours?” You’re slurring your words a little bit, but you’re hoping he won’t notice.

“Of course,” he says right away. You hear a door open. “Where are you? I’ll pick you up.”

“No, it’s okay,” you tell him. “I’m with my friend, she can drop me off.”

“Can I talk to him?” Your friend says from the front seat.

“Hold on, she wants to talk to you,” you say to Hanbin. “She needs to make sure you aren’t gonna murder me.” You can hear him nervously laughing as you give your friend the phone.

You look out the window while she asks him a gazillion and one questions. She sounds concerned when she finds out he has 2 other roommates, both guys. You’re good friends with them too, thankfully. You can’t hear Hanbin, but whatever he says must be convincing. He’s the best person you know. But then again you’re drunk, and maybe a little in love with him.

“And you’ll take her home tomorrow morning?” She asks. You turn your head and try to focus on their conversation.

“He’s not my father,” you say from the backseat. You’re tempted to make a joke about him being your daddy but you hold it in.

“Make sure she calls me tomorrow as well, so I know she’s alive.”

“For god’s sake,” you mutter to yourself.

You’ve known him since you started university, but your friend has only met him once or twice. You and Hanbin are in the same program and the same year, so you have tons of classes together. In first year, you were thrown together for a group project. While working on that, the two of you quickly became friends. You started studying for all your joint classes together, alternating hanging out at each other’s apartments. Your study sessions usually turn into the two of you watching TV or ordering take out and just talking for hours on end. Sometimes Hanbin will share lyrics or songs with you and ask for your opinion. There have been a few times where you’ve been so deep in discussion, you don’t even realize it’s midnight. On those days, you crash at his place.

Your roommate is convinced the two of you are dating, but you constantly reassure her you’re not. Every time he comes over, you lock yourselves in your room, so she probably assumes you’re making out. You wish you were, but you’re happy being his best friend too.

“If y/n gets hurt, I’m going to murder you, I hope you know that.” There goes any chance you had with him anyway. “Okay, I’ll give the phone back to her.”

You grab it right away. “I’m sorry, I know she can be scary.” You say. Hanbin just laughs.

“She cares about you, it’s a good thing.”

“So I’ll see you in like 5 minutes then?” You ask.

“Yeah, are you hungry? Yunhyeong made some food earlier, I think there’s some left.” You smile at that, he’s so sweet. Total boyfriend material.

“That sounds lovely.” You glance at your friend, who’s turning the engine on again. “I’ll be there soon.”

“Okay, bye.”

“Love you,” you reply. “Bye.”

After you hang up, your friend just stares at you in the rearview mirror. “Did you just say love you?”

“Yes,” you say awkwardly. “That’s what friends do.”

“You never tell me you love me.” She puts the car into reverse and pulls out of your driveway.

“I love you.”

“It doesn’t have the same effect now,” she says. “Are you sure he’s not your boyfriend?”

“He’s not.”

“Friends with benefits?” Her partner asks.

“No!”

“He’s cute though,” your friend points out. “Definitely your type.”

“Yeah, I know.” You stare out the window again.

“Wait, do you have a crush on him?” She glances at you in the rearview again.

“I think it’s a little more than a crush,” you say, avoiding eye contact. “I might be in love with him, it’s fine though.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“He’s not interested.”

“How do you know that?” She says right away. “He’s going to take care of you right now, while you’re drunk, what boy would do that if he didn’t have feelings for you?”

“A nice one?”

“Shut up,” she replies, turning right onto his street. “You’re drunk, you’re flirty, go get your man.”

“Should we give her some condoms or something?” You and your friend both laugh at that.

“No sex,” she says. “Not while you’re drunk.”

“Hanbin would never,” you reassure her. “He always asks before touching me.”

“He touches you?” She pulls onto his driveway.

“In a platonic way!” You’re blushing now. You’ve been crushing on him for ages, but talking about it out loud makes it so much more real. You’re almost scared to see Hanbin now. You’ll wind up saying something dumb and ruining your friendship.

“We’re here, so you can go touch him all you want.”

“Stop it!” You take your seatbelt off and open the door. “I hate you.”

“Do you want us to take you inside?”

“I’m sure I can make it to the front door,” you say. “I’m not that drunk.”

“If you say so,” your friend replies. “I’m gonna stay here and watch you go in.” Your roll your eyes, but you’re grateful for her. “Text me when you wake up tomorrow. I told Hanbin too, so you better not forget.”

“I won’t.” You grab your bag. “Thanks.” She smiles.

“You’re welcome,” you close the door, but she rolls down her window. “I love you.”

“Oh my god,” you groan and run towards the house. You’re dying to get away from her so she’ll stop clowning you.

When you get to the front door, it opens right away. Yunhyeong is there, smiling. He must’ve been expecting you.

“Hey,” he says. He notices your friend’s car in the driveway and waves. She waves back before reversing out and leaving.

“Thank god,” you mutter, kicking your shoes off. You almost lose your balance, but he grabs your arm to steady you.

“Hanbin said you’re staying over tonight.”

“Yeah, and I’m drunk,” you tell him. He’s about to say something else but Hanbin comes walking down the hallway. You immediately run over and wrap your arms around his neck.

He’s caught off guard, but he hugs you back. “Hi.” His arms are tight around you.

“I missed you,” you say, before burying your face in his neck. “So much.��

“Are you okay?” He asks, smiling. You nod and look up at him. You’re glad he’s amused.

“You smell really good.”

“You smell like vodka.” That makes you laugh. “You said you’re hungry, right?” You nod.

He untangles himself from you and walks towards the kitchen. You grab his hand without second thought. Since the two of you are usually pretty affectionate, he doesn’t think anything of it. You’re extremely grateful for that right now. You don’t want to act suspicious.

Yunhyeong joins you at the kitchen table while you have some left over french fries from their dinner. Hanbin makes sure you drink some water too, even though you tell him you’re not thirsty. You ask where Chanwoo is. When they say he’s locked in his room gaming, you’re not surprised. You make a mental note to say hi to him in the morning.

They ask about your night, and you explain how you forgot your keys and have nowhere else to stay. When they ask how much you had to drink, you genuinely can’t remember.

“You better go to sleep soon,” Hanbin says. “I don’t want you to be hungover tomorrow.”

“I don’t get hungover,” you tell him, yawning. “I’m not old.” He rolls his eyes at that.

“You can sleep in Hanbin’s room,” Yunhyeong says. “He can sleep on my floor.”

“Why can’t he sleep with me?” You two have never slept in the same bed before, but you don’t see why it would be a problem. Falling asleep in his arms would be amazing, especially since he smells so damn good. And waking up next to him in the morning? That thought alone makes you blush.

“y/n,” Hanbin says, smiling. “What did you just say?”

“I said you should sleep with me.” The two of them burst out laughing as you suddenly realize why. “Wait no, that’s not what I meant.”

“Are you sure?” Hanbin asks, making eye contact with you. You know he’s joking but it makes you flustered.

“Yes,” you mutter under your breath. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about Hanbin like that. You know he’s got some tattoos hiding under there somewhere. You’ve definitely thought about them before, particularly while imagining yourself underneath him.

“Are you finished?” Yunhyeong breaks your thoughts, pointing to your plate. You nod and he picks it up, heading to the sink.

“Thank you,” you call out after him. You might be drunk, but you’re never impolite.

Hanbin stands up and holds out his hand. “Let’s get you into bed.”

“I bet you’d like to,” you say, trying to give him a seductive look. That’s probably not even grammatically correct, but he laughs and pulls you towards his room.

“You’re ridiculous.” You sit down on his bed as he cleans up his nightstand for you. You glance at your phone quickly, no messages.

“Go take off your makeup,” Hanbin says to you, “you don’t want to look like a raccoon in the morning.”

“Raccoons are cute though,” you point out.

“That’s true.” He heads over to his closet. “But you’ll complain if I don’t make you do it now.”

“Fine,” you groan, getting up and heading to his en-suite.

You grab the micellar water and cotton pads from under the sink and use them to wipe your eye makeup off. The last time you slept over, he gave you your own toothbrush, so you grab that off the bathroom counter and brush your teeth. When you’re done, you walk back into the room, pulling the scrunchie out of your hair.

“Do you want a sweater or a t-shirt?” Hanbin asks, holding out both to you.

“T-shirt, I guess,” you reply, pulling off your own and throwing it on the floor without second thought.

“Whoa.” He rushes to cover his eyes, which makes you smile.

“You’re allowed to look,” you tell him, grabbing the shirt. “I was hoping you would see me shirtless in a totally different context, but this works too.”

“What?” He’s smirking.

“Nothing,” you say. “I probably won’t even remember this in the morning.” Hanbin doesn’t say anything to that.

“Are you still half naked?” He asks a minute or two later, with his eyes still closed. The t-shirt he gave you is a free one from one of your university’s events. He got the biggest size, which you’re grateful for right now. You decide to take your jeans off so you’ll be more comfortable while you sleep.

“Hold on.” You take them off and attempt to fold them, but in your drunken state, it’s kind of difficult. “Okay,” you say, placing them on his desk.

When he opens his eyes, he glances you up and down. You act like you don’t notice, but you’re pretty sure his gaze lingers on your legs for a moment. You haven’t shaved in a couple days, maybe he’s frightened. He clears his throat, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“I’m gonna get you a glass of water,” he says awkwardly, turning around and walking out of the room. You don’t know what to make of that.

While he’s gone, you crawl into bed and grab Hanbin’s phone charger. He’ll have to steal someone else’s if he needs it. He comes back, placing the water and a bottle of Advil on his nightstand for you.

“Do you need anything else?” He asks. You shake your head. “I’m gonna put the garbage bin closer just in case you do feel sick.” He grabs it from under his desk and puts it next to you.

“Thank you,” you say. “Seriously.”

“That’s what friends do.” He smiles at you and you groan.

“I don’t wanna be your friend,” you tell him, yawning. You knew you were tired, but you feel like you’re going to fall asleep any second, now that you’re lying down and comfortable.

“What do you want to be then?” He asks, heading over to his dresser.

“Your girlfriend.” He freezes for a second. “I’m sure you’ve thought about it too.”

“Maybe,” is all he says in return. He grabs the rest of his stuff as your eyes slowly close. “I’ll see you in the morning y/n, sleep tight.”

“Goodnight,” you mumble, rolling over.

You fall asleep soon after that, dreaming of god knows what. But you wake up when you hear a shuffling noise. You sit up and open your eyes. It seems like there’s a figure wandering around in the dark.

“Hanbin,” you say. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Sorry, I thought you were asleep.” You turn his nightstand lamp on and both of you flinch at the sudden brightness. “Are you okay?”

You nod. “Come here,” you tell him.

“Are you sick?” He’s holding his toothbrush and a notebook. He was probably coming to grab some stuff before heading to Yunhyeong’s room.

“No,” you reply, you’re still half asleep and you’re sure he can tell. “I just want you to come sit for a second.” He puts his things down, so you scoot over a little bit so there’s room for him.

“Do you need something?” You shake your head. “Why are you up then?”

“You woke me up, dumbass.” He blushes at that.

“I’m sorry.” You smile and take his hand.

“It’s okay.” He interlocks his fingers with yours. “Stay with me till I fall asleep again and I’ll accept your apology.”

“Fine.” He glances at the time on your phone. “That might take forever though.”

“Nope,” you tell him. “I have a trick.”

“A trick?”

“Yeah,” you say. “When I’m at home and I can’t sleep, there’s one thing I always think of and then I fall asleep no problem.”

“What is it?”

“You.”

“What?” He looks confused and it’s the cutest thing you’ve ever seen.

“Remember when I said you should sleep with me?”

“How could I forget?” You laugh, and he does too.

“You should.” His eyes go wide. “Not like that, but also like that, I guess...” You lose your train of thought for a second because you’re thinking about him shirtless.

“y/n?” You glance at him.

“Sorry,” you smile. “When I can’t sleep, I think of you, and falling asleep with your arms around me, and it helps.”

“That’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever heard.” He takes your other hand in his.

“But,” you say. “When that doesn’t work, I just think about kissing you.”

“You do?” He asks. He sounds genuinely curious. Surely he’s thought about kissing you too. Otherwise you’re just making a fool of yourself right now. Although it doesn’t really matter, since you won’t remember any of it tomorrow morning.

“I think about kissing you a lot,” you admit.

“Oh really?” You brain suddenly realizes there’s not that much space between the two of you, and it would be really easy to just do it now but you hold back.

“You should kiss me,” you tell him. “To help me sleep, I mean.”

“Drunk you is so entertaining.” He reaches up to brush some hair out of your face, which makes your heart beat a little faster.

“You’re not saying no,” you point out. He moves his hand down, pulling you in by the neck.

“I’m not.”

You blink. He’s looking at you like he does actually want to kiss you, but you might just be imagining it because you’re drunk. But you also really want to kiss him and now seems like a really good opportunity if you would just-

Your thoughts get cut off because suddenly Hanbin’s lips are on yours. He gives you a quick kiss, but you shake your head, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“What?”

“Kiss me properly.”

“You’re ridiculous y/n,” he laughs.

You quickly shut him up by placing your lips on his again. He kisses you deeper this time, taking your comment to heart. You get lost in the kiss, leaning back onto the bed and pulling him down with you. You expect him to stop before this gets out of hand, but he doesn’t. There’s a small part of you that’s scared of what this means for your friendship, but god, it feels so good to finally kiss him that you don’t even care.

When he pulls away, it takes you a few seconds to open your eyes. Looking up at him feels so surreal. You think you might be dreaming. You run your fingers through his hair and it’s as soft as you remember. Maybe not.

“Better now?” Hanbin asks quietly, never taking his eyes off your lips.

“Yeah,” you whisper. He glances into your eyes for a second, before leaning down for another kiss. This one’s softer, more gentle.

“Good,” he says, sitting up. You miss him as soon as he moves away. “Go to sleep.”

“I’ll try, but no promises.” He smirks at that.

“Sorry.” You shake your head.

“Don’t be.”

He smiles and kisses your cheek. “Goodnight y/n.”

“Goodnight,” you say back, closing your eyes and drifting off to sleep again.

The next morning when you wake up, you feel much better. You must’ve slept pretty well. When you grab your phone off the nightstand you almost knock over the glass of water Hanbin left there for you.

Right, Hanbin.

The last thing you remember is him leaving the garbage bin by your bed and saying goodnight. You vaguely remember making some suggestive jokes, but nothing too terrible. You didn’t totally ruin your friendship, as far as you know.

When you check your phone, you see a text from your best friend. Instead of replying, you call her. She’s glad you’re still alive. She asks about Hanbin and whether anything happened overnight. She sounds kind of disappointed when you tell her you just ate and went to sleep. She’s got plans for the day so you can’t talk for long, but she promises to text you later.

You stay in bed for a little while longer, scrolling through your socials. Hanbin knocks on the door about half an hour later. He asks how you’re feeling and tells you to take whatever you want from his closet. You decide to take a shower so he grabs you a towel. He tells you to come join them when you’re done.

Once you’re finished, you quickly pack up your things. Then, you grab your phone and head towards the kitchen. You’re walking down the hall, when you hear Chanwoo say your name.

“I’m so sad I didn’t get to see drunk y/n, she sounds like a lot of fun.”

“She’s very entertaining.” That’s Hanbin’s voice.

“She was flirting with you too,” Yunhyeong says. You creep a little bit closer, staying close to the wall, so they don’t notice you eavesdropping.

“Maybe.” Hanbin pauses for a second. “She said something in my room later on.”

“She was in your room?” Chanwoo asks.

“What did she say?” Yunhyeong asks, ignoring him.

“After r I got her some water and Advil, she said thanks and I was like ‘that’s what friends do,’” you hear someone groan at that. Probably Chanwoo. “She said she doesn’t want to be my friend.”

Your heart starts to beat a little bit faster. You’re praying you didn’t say anything too dumb. And if you did, you hope Hanbin will just write it off as you being drunk.

“She said she wants to be my girlfriend.” You cringe. It’s not terrible, but you’re still embarrassed.

“I knew it,” Yunhyeong says. “You’re soulmates.”

“Shut up,” Hanbin replies. “She was drunk, she probably didn’t even mean it.”

“I think she did.”

“We’ve seen the way y/n looks at you.” You cringe at that too. Have you really been that obvious?

“That’s not it though,” Hanbin says. You wish he would just shut up. You don’t want to know what other dumb shit you said. “I kissed her.”

“You what?” Yunhyeong says exactly what you’re thinking. You and Hanbin finally kissed and you don’t even remember it? You’re never drinking again.

“It wasn’t planned,” Hanbin sounds worried now. “I didn’t mean to, she was just talking about how much she likes me and I couldn’t help myself, and now I’ve ruined our friendship.”

“What did she say about liking you?”

“She said that when she can’t sleep, she thinks about falling asleep in my arms, and if that doesn’t work, she thinks about kissing me.” You roll your eyes. All of that is true, but you don’t know why your drunk self felt the need to share it with him.

“She’s practically in love with you,” Chanwoo says. He’s not wrong. You are in love with Hanbin, maybe he’ll finally realize now.

“What are you going to do?” Yunhyeong asks.

“I don’t know.” Hanbin sighs. “She doesn’t even remember it happened, when I said hi to her this morning, she acted like everything was normal.” You don’t know if you’re grateful for that. Maybe if you did remember, you could actually address it and somehow get him to date you already.

“Maybe that’s what she wants,” Chanwoo says.

“But is it what you want?” Yunhyeong asks.

There’s a moment of silence before Hanbin responds.

“No.”

“I knew it.” Chanwoo sounds so smug.

“What do I do?”

“How do you feel about y/n?” Yunhyeong asks. This is what you’ve been waiting for. You take a small step closer to the kitchen.

“What kind of question is that?” Hanbin responds. “When she said she wanted to fall asleep with me, I really wanted to get into bed next to her.” That makes you blush.

“Simp.”

“She’s adorable to begin with, but she’s like a thousand times cuter when she’s half asleep,” he says. You smile to yourself.

“Tell us more,” Yunhyeong says.

“Does he have to?” Chanwoo groans.

“I mean, y/n’s my best friend. She makes me laugh, she makes studying for the worst courses bearable somehow, I love spending time with her, I love it when she falls asleep with her head on my shoulder and I hate it when she cries,” he says. You’re shocked at how quickly he answers. “But I also love it when I can make her stop crying. I don’t know, I just really like her and I have no idea what to do about it.”

“You’re in love with her, we been knew.” Chanwoo sounds 100% sure. He’s not wrong, that is what it sounds like. “And we all know your lyrics are about her too.”

“What?”

“It does sound like you love her,” Yunhyeong says.

“Shit,” Hanbin mutters under his breath. Your heart’s racing, waiting to hear what he says next. “Yeah, I think I do.”

You lose your focus, ignoring whatever Yunhyeong and Chanwoo say next because you can’t believe it. Your best friend, the boy you love with all your heart, loves you too. You don’t know what to do next, but that’s a pretty good start.

“I should go see if she’s done,” you hear someone say, which snaps you back to reality.

You rush back to Hanbin’s room and sit down at his desk, trying to act casual. There’s a bunch of notebooks piled against the wall, so you grab one, pretending to read it. Until something catches your eye.

If feelings could be controlled, I would’ve thrown mine away a long time ago. I’m talking bout you and me, when I try to take a step forward, you take his hand and become distant.

You’ve seen some of Hanbin’s lyrics before, but only the ones he’s shared with you. It feels like an invasion of his privacy, but you can’t help but wonder if these are about you, especially after what Chanwoo said in the kitchen.

I’ve got feelings for you and you’re embarrassing me. Why are you so pretty if you’re not mine?

Your eyes jump to the top of the page, looking for a date. He wrote this a year and a half ago. You try to go back in your memory to figure out what was happening around that time, when it hits you.

You dated this guy in your English class that October. You remember he came up to you after one of your lectures and asked if you and Hanbin were dating, since you always seemed to be together. You laughed and rolled your eyes. He said he was glad he had the chance to finally talk to you, since that was one of the few classes you had without Hanbin. He asked if he could take you out for dinner that weekend and you said yes. When you told Hanbin, he didn’t seem disappointed, but he must have been if he wrote this. Your ex wound up leaving you after three months. He didn’t explicitly say it, but you suspect he was jealous because you spent more time with Hanbin than him. It was true, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.

You never mentioned anything about your breakup to Hanbin, but he knows you too well. You wound up telling him about it when you were up late one night talking. He held you while you cried, but he never said a bad word about your ex. Later on, you realized you were crying more about how you’d never have Hanbin than the actual breakup.

While thinking about that, you realize Hanbin hasn’t dated anyone in the time you’ve been friends. You know he has tons of other friends, and you know some of them also have crushes on him, but he never seemed interested. Now you know why.

Yunhyeong appears in the doorway at that exact moment, smiling at you. You put the notebook down, trying to act natural.

“Hey,” he says. “Have a nice shower?”

“Yeah, it was great,” you reply, awkwardly.

“You called your roommate, right?” You nod. “Are you going to head home soon?”

“You trying to get rid of me?” You ask, jokingly. Yunhyeong immediately shakes his head.

“Hanbin said you have some midterms and papers due this week that you seemed pretty stressed about. We just assumed you’d want to head home and work on those.”

“That’s kind of both of you,” you say. “Perhaps you have a point.”

“Do you want me to walk you home?”

“Where’s Hanbin?” You’re scared to see him, but you’re also excited. You’re curious as to how he’s going to act around you now. You didn’t really have a proper conversation earlier.

“I’m right here,” he suddenly appears next to Yunhyeong in the doorframe. You can’t stop yourself from smiling when you see him. He smiles back, which makes you a little flustered. “Have a nice shower?”

You roll your eyes. “I smell like you now.” Hanbin raises his eyebrows at that, and Yunhyeong smirks.

“I’m gonna go find Chanwoo,” he says. “I’ll leave you two alone.”

“Are you gonna stay for a little while?” Hanbin asks. You can’t tell if he wants you to, so you shake your head.

“I should probably work on my philosophy paper.”

“I should do that too.” You want to stay, and work on it together, but he doesn’t suggest it. You’re too scared to.

“Text me when you’re done,” you say. “You can send it to me and I’ll edit it for you.” He smiles at that.

“Thank you in advance.” You smile back. “I can drive you home as a token of my gratitude.”

“Can we walk?” It’s only 5 minutes, surely the two of you can act normal for that long.

“Sure,” he replies. “Have you got all your stuff?” You nod, grabbing your bag from the bed. Yunhyeong offered you one of his tote bags to put last night’s clothes in, so you pick that up as well.

You follow Hanbin into the kitchen, where Yunhyeong and Chanwoo are still eating their breakfast. You say bye to both of them, and promise to see them again soon. Chanwoo laughs at that. Normally you wouldn’t think anything of it, but now it makes you feel slightly anxious. You ignore that feeling and go to put on your shoes.

Once you’re outside, you feel so much better. Hanbin must notice, cause he’s looking at you with a weird expression on his face.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he says, walking down his driveway to the sidewalk. “They say fresh air is good for hangovers.”

The second you get over to him, you give him a smack. “I’m not hungover.”

“Sure you aren’t.” He gestures to the tote bag in your hand. “I can take that.”

“Thanks,” you hand it to him. “And thanks for putting up with drunk me.”

“It’s fine,” is all he says.

“Sorry if I said anything dumb.”

“You’re always saying dumb things, y/n, last night was no different.” You roll your eyes at that.

“I didn’t do anything stupid, did I?” You ask quietly. It’s the perfect opportunity to bring up the kiss.

“Of course not,” he says quickly, smiling at you. “You were actually kind of boring.”

“Shut up,” you mutter. He bumps his shoulder against yours as you turn off his street. While you walk, you send your roommate a text to let her know you’re on your way home. She says she’ll leave the door unlocked.

You and Hanbin talk about your midterms for the rest of the way. You’re slightly disappointed he doesn’t mention anything about last night, but you understand if he doesn’t want to ruin your friendship. You don’t want to bring it up because you don’t want to admit you were eavesdropping.

When you get to your front door, he makes sure you get in safely before saying bye.

“Thanks again,” you say, as the two of you stand in your doorway awkwardly.

“That’s what friends do.” You groan at that, which makes Hanbin blush. You must’ve had the same reaction last night when you said you wanted to be his girlfriend. You wish you could remember.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, right?” He nods.

“Of course.”

You give him a quick hug and say thanks again before he leaves. Once you close the front door, your roommate pops out from her room.

“So?” She asks, running over to you.

“What?” You put your things down in the hallway and follow her into the living room.

“Something’s up,” she glances you up and down as you sit down in the armchair. “You spent the night at his place, you’re wearing his clothes, your hair is wet - that only means one thing.”

“It’s not what you think,” you tell her, pulling Hanbin’s sweater tighter around you. It smells so freaking good, you’re never giving it back. Even though you have like 5 other hoodies from him.

“What is it then?” She raises an eyebrow.

“How much time do you have?”

“More than enough,” she smiles. “Let me put the kettle on.”

============

Things with Hanbin stay the same during the week. You edit each other’s essays and study for your midterms over FaceTime. He invites you over on Friday night to celebrate being halfway done with the semester. Apparently Chanwoo lost some bet between the three of them and he’s buying dinner. How could you say no?

The day of, you’re about to leave when your roommate catches you in the kitchen.

“Please tell me you’re not wearing that.” You glance down. You’re wearing one of Hanbin’s t-shirts and a pair of sweats.

“What’s wrong with this?” You ask. “We’re not going clubbing.”

“Yeah, but you want him to sleep with you, don’t you?” That makes you blush. “You should at least wear some makeup.”

She grabs your hand and pulls you into your room. While she goes through your closet, you shoot Hanbin a quick text saying you’re running late. This better be worth it.

In the end, your roommate lets you keep his shirt on. She says it makes you look more “fuckable,” whatever that means. You wind up changing into jeans and throwing a plaid shirt on top (which is also Hanbin’s, but you don’t tell her that). She brushes some brown eyeshadow on for you and picks out a nice shade of lipstick, which also happens to be smudge proof (“since you’ll be making out”). After you swipe it on, she finally lets you put your shoes on to leave. You’re unlocking the front door when she stops you again.

“What now?” She drops a couple of condoms into your hand. “Oh my god.”

“You and Hanbin would have adorable babies, but I don’t think now is the right time for either of you-”

“Why does everyone think I need condoms?” You say, mostly to yourself. You stuff them into your bag anyway.

“I just want you to be prepared.”

“I appreciate that.” She smiles and opens the door for you.

“You have your keys, right?” You roll your eyes but hold them up. “Good, now go get laid!”

You feel bad about running late, so you speedwalk to Hanbin’s. You get there in less than 3 minutes, which you’re quite proud of. When he opens the door, he smiles at you.

“Is that my shirt?” You blush.

“Yes.” You push past him so you don’t have to look at him any longer. It wasn’t so bad in class, because the two of you had something else to focus on. But now that you’re back in his house, you’re feeling anxious again. He still thinks you don’t know about the kiss.

“y/n!” Chanwoo appears in the hallway. “Pizza got here like 10 minutes ago, come have it while it’s hot.”

You follow him into the kitchen, where he grabs you a plate. While he does that, you open the fridge to grab a drink. The second you pick up a can, Hanbin magically shows up and takes it from you.

“I don’t think so.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.” You go to take it back, but he holds it above his head so you can’t reach.

“Kim Hanbin,” you say, trying to use your serious voice. “Give me back my drink or else I’ll never proofread your essays again.”

“I can easily find someone else to do that.” He keeps the can raised. You rolls your eyes but reach for it anyway. That makes Hanbin laugh as he tries to keep it away from you.

“Can you two stop flirting?” You almost forgot Chanwoo was there. Whoops. You glance at Hanbin and he seems as caught off guard as you, which makes you feel better. You snatch the drink out of his hand while he’s distracted.

The three of you sit down and eat, talking about your classes and your plans for the weekend. Yunhyeong shows up about 15 minutes later. He walks through the door holding way too many grocery bags, so you immediately run over to help.

“Thanks, y/n,” he says, handing you some of them. “I’m glad someone cares about me.”

“Of course I do,” you tell him. Hanbin comes over to help you put them away while Yunhyeong has some pizza.

When you’re done, you jump onto the counter. Hanbin gets a glass of water and sits next to you.

“Have this.” He holds it out.

“Excuse me?”

“It’s important to stay hydrated while you’re drinking.”

“Shut up,” you tell him. “I’ll be fine.”

“Fine as you won’t remember anything?” You freeze. It’s about time he said something, you just didn’t expect it to be like this.

“Is that really such a bad thing?” You tease, but he doesn’t smile.

“Yeah y/n,” he says, running a hand through his hair.

“Fine,” you take the water from him and have a sip. “I don’t want to forget anything that happens today.”

“Good,” he says.

“You better make it memorable then.”

“Oh, I will.” You don’t know what to make of that.

“What did I tell you about flirting?” Chanwoo says suddenly, getting your attention. You roll your eyes, but Yunhyeong changes the subject.

“Who was that girl I dated in first year? I can’t remember her name.”

“Alex?” He shakes his head. “I have no idea then, sorry.”

Yunhyeong runs through some other names, none of which you recognize. To be fair, you only became friends with Yunhyeong and Chanwoo last year. Sure, you spent time in their apartment, but they mostly left you and Hanbin alone to do whatever.

“Wait!” You say suddenly, remembering a story Hanbin told you a while back. Everyone stops and looks at you. “Is she the one who said you were a bad kisser?”

“Yeah,” Yunhyeong replies. “That’s the worst insult I’ve ever gotten.”

“Can’t relate.” Chanwoo looks smug.

“Have you even kissed anyone?” You ask him. “You’re like 12.” That makes Hanbin laugh.

“Shut up,” He says. “I’m only 2 years younger than you.”

“Hanbin’s probably the best kisser out of all of us then,” Yunhyeong points out. You bump your shoulder against Hanbin’s and he smiles.

“Says who?” Chanwoo asks. “We should run a survey.” You roll your eyes.

“What are you going to do?” You reply. “Make out with every girl on campus and ask who they liked best?”

“Well you and Hanbin have already kissed so-” Yunhyeong doesn’t finish his sentence. All of you are staring at him.

“I’m sorry, what?” You ask. You could just tell them you already know, but you decide not to. You want to see how this plays out.

“When you were drunk,” Hanbin jumps in, turning to face you. “It was just a dumb kiss, it didn’t mean anything.”

“It didn’t?” You ask.

“Do you even remember it?”

“No,” you shake your head, “but that doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings for you.” You hear Yunhyeong gasp. Hanbin just looks surprised.

“Did I say anything?” You ask him.

“You said-”

“Shut up Chanwoo,” Hanbin looks at you. “You said you wanted to be my girlfriend.” You could take a second and weigh your options, but you also know if you don’t say something now you probably never will.

“Well, I do.” Your voice shakes a little, but you’re confident in your answer.

“You do?” You might be imagining things, but Hanbin looks happy.

“Yeah.” He thinks for a second, then jumps off the counter.

“Come on.” He holds out his hand, so you take it. Neither of you say anything to Yunhyeong and Chanwoo as you walk right past them, down the hall to Hanbin’s room.

He follows you in and closes door behind you. Now that you’re alone, you don’t know what to do. You glance at Hanbin and he looks just as nervous as you. He’s leaning against the door. You wish he would come hold your hand or sit next to you or anything.

“y/n,” he starts to say, but you cut him off.

“I’m scared.”

“What?” He looks so concerned. You love him for it. “What’s wrong?”

“Come here,” you say without thinking. Hanbin sits next to you and takes your hand as you lean against him. It feels so natural.

“What is it?” He asks quietly, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand.

“What if we fuck this up?”

“We won’t,” he says right away.

“Listen,” you reply. “You’re my best friend, and I absolutely adore you, but if we do this, and we fall in love and date and whatever and it doesn’t work out, where does that leave us?”

Hanbin turns to look at you. “Haven’t we already fallen in love?”

You answer him by leaning in and giving him a small kiss. You’re surprised at your boldness, but it feels right. When you pull away, the two of you smile at each other. You really do love him.

“Is that what our first kiss was like?” You ask, breaking the silence. “I’m so sad I don’t remember it.”

“It wasn’t like that, no,” he tells you.

“Oh god,” you groan. “Was it like messy and weird? I wasn’t that drunk, was I?”

“No,” he shakes his head. “It was actually really nice.”

“Can we do a reenactment?” Hanbin blushes. “Oh my god, was it like something out of a R-rated movie?”

He shakes his head again. “Maybe like 14A?” You gasp.

“You’ll have to show me.”

“Not today,” he says, “I have things to do.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You frown.

“Just, uh,” he looks down. “If I kiss you like that again, I’m pretty sure I know what’ll happen next.”

That makes you blush. “Okay cool,” you say awkwardly. “We’ll save that for another time.”

“Good plan,” he smiles at you. “Should we go back out there?” He gestures to the door.

“What do we say?”

“What do you mean?” He asks.

“We’ve been in here, alone, for how long? That’s not what friends do. They’re going to have questions.”

“We’re not friends,” Hanbin says.

“No?” You ask, trying to ignore the fact that your heart rate’s gone up. “What are we then?”

Before he can answer, you hear Chanwoo’s voice outside. “If you two are fucking in there, let us know so we can leave.”

“We’re not!” You and Hanbin yell back in unison.

“Okay good,” Chanwoo responds. You both wait until you hear him walk away.

“Let’s go, so they stop speculating about what we’re doing in here.” You get up. Hanbin doesn’t. “What?”

“I love you.”

“I know.”

“Oh my god,” he groans. “Did you really have to quote Star Wars right now?” You smile, as he stands up.

“Sorry,” you tell him.

Hanbin kisses your forehead, taking your hand. You give him what’s mean to be a quick kiss on the lips, but he wraps his arms around you, holding you close.

“I love you too,” you whisper once he pulls away.

“Thank god for that.” You roll your eyes. “Come on.”

You’re not ready for the constant teasing you’re going to get from Yunhyeong and Chanwoo, but you don’t mind. Hanbin’s yours now, so at least you’ll suffer together. That’s what friends do, right?

#ikon #kim hanbin #hanbin #hanbin scenario #hanbin imagine #ikon scenario #ikon imagine #kpop #fluff #I suck at tagging rip me #also love how I'm doing this on my work break yikes #I'm just glad this is done and sorry in advance for any typos

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papergirllife · 3 years

Text

Chapter 2

Synopsis:

You don’t know what it’s like to be free, to make your own choices, and live your own life. For your whole life, your parents have been treating you like a puppet on strings, controlling your life to every single detail, as well as ignoring the fact that you have feelings. Other times, when you disobey their wishes, or speak up about your own opinions, they bash you down with words, in other words, psychological abuse, has led you down the long winded road of depression and anxiety. What happens when you meet a man who’s willing to be your guide out of this terrible downpour? Would you give a shot at happily ever after?

Warnings:

big age gap (kinda?)

issues on anxiety

issues on depression (mild)

issues on parental abuse

smut (maybe)

Tag List: @etherealtyjaem , @caratzennie , @johnnysuhnflower , @euphoricchannie , @yeollieseo , @jjhmk , @sherzess

(lmk if you wanna be on the list) (and sorry for reposting, it just won’t show on the tags)

The new house you’ve just moved in was small, you were perfectly fine with the size, you always stayed in your room anyways, the sizes elsewhere doesn’t really matter. It wouldn’t have been an issue if they weren’t making a fuss outside. They were yet again arguing about the company’s debts and complaining about the recent stock market turn outs. Your parents sold the old house in order to pay off some of the company loans, moving into a decent condominium in the older township.

Why are they so obnoxiously loud? Why can’t they talk like normal civilised people? They had an awful habit of shouting from one room to another, even if it’s about 3 feet apart, the study to the kitchen like it was just steps away.

You placed your pillow on top of your ear as the other was covered with the other one you’re sleeping on, you woke up from nightmares just this morning and needed a nap, but from the looks of things, you weren’t getting one anytime soon.

You reluctantly got up from your bed and told them to lower down their voices, but they just ignored you, as they always did. After the third time of fruitless attempt, you’ve given up hope on resting, but your body wasn’t happy with what was happening, the voices in your head hammering in your head, blaming you for what happened as you felt your heartbeat quicken, your breathing staggered. You could feel your whole body tense up as tears started to cloud your vision.

You inhaled deep breaths as you tried to push the anxiety attack away, humming a song, fiddling with a pen, but nothing you read on the internet helped. You hugged your knees towards your chest as you sat on the corner of your room, trying to muffle your choked sobs. A sentence you kept repeating in your head like a mantra,

‘make it stop.’

It’s currently 10 a.m. and your parents are rushing you to hurry up with your morning routine as they have an important meeting with some potential investor, they’re taking you along because they need an errand girl to buy them coffee and in case of any other task that is deemed much too troublesome for them like filing away documents or printing out contracts.

You woke up at the crack of dawn to get ready, so to say that you were tired after yesterday’s ordeal was an understatement. As your father told you to double check the files needed in the bag, you found out you left one up stairs, your palms sweaty as you informed them of your mishap.

“How can you be so dumb?! This is why you’re such a failure of a person! I told you to prepare everything last night! Were you day dreaming again?!” your father bellowed from the driver’s seat, his angry eyes filled with rage whenever his gaze darted to your sight through the rearview mirror, putting your lives at risk on a busy road.

You bite back retorts, head hung low through out the quick detour back, exiting the car alone to go back up and retrieve the file you left behind.

Not a day goes by where they don’t criticise you for something you did, whether an accident or not. You can feel your anxiety levels going up again as your heartbeat picks up speed, a wave of sadness coming over you. You quickly recalled a familiar song to block out their hurtful words ringing in your head.

“Useless piece of shit,” your father mumbled as he drove, throwing a clothe he uses to clean his car on your face, the rough material stinging you.

As you dug through your pockets for loose change in your jacket, your fingers found a card instead, it was Mr Suh’s card.

I can take you away from all this chaos raging among your family, if you can call it a family that is. I’ll be seeing you soon, Y/N.

‘What does he mean?’ you wondered.

“Miss, you’re holding up the queue. Do you have 50 cents or not?” the cashier at your local starbucks snaps at you, yanking you away from your own thoughts.

“Sorry, I don’t,” you apologised.

You looked around you to see the long line behind you and the usual full house condition of the cafe, sighing at what you call a norm of your life now, being an errand girl for your parents, and not even a little bit of acknowledgement of your existence nor feelings.

‘Can Mr Suh really make all this stop?’ you asked yourself.

Now you think you’re ridiculous for thinking a man of such wealth and power would be interested in a girl with such a puny presence among a crowd and not even a valued family member in your family’s eyes. He’s going to get bored of a girl like you someday, how long would he stay interested? A week? A month? A year? You doubt you’ll even last a night.

You begrudgingly took the bagged coffee from the counter and quickly walked back to your parent’s office block, head hung low as you thought about your parents’ attitude if this investor ends up leaving them empty handed, shivering at the thought of being their ‘mental stress ball’.

“I’m sorry, but the debts your company is in isn’t something we’d want to have on our company’s reputation if we invested. Thank you for having us,” the man in the middle, presumably the boss said, a bored look on his face.

Just like that the investors stood up and walked out the glass door of the office. Once they were out, your parents let out a frustrated groan. You quickly hurried to close up the office as they always told you to after a meeting on weekends without workers in the office.

A month later

The company is now under leased after being certified bankruptcy. Your parents’ savings are running low, so they told you to get a part time job at a local western grocer that rich people of Seoul go to for groceries that could most probably buy you a meal at your nearby convenience store, at the winery section, where you are now giving out samples to the customers.

It wasn’t an easy job, the customers here have high standards, whatever you’re giving out as samples are always deemed lacked elegance compared to the ones that they usually have, yet they always come back for more samples the next time they come to pick up groceries, and if they’re in a good mood, they might actually buy something. People who act rich but actually aren’t as wealthy as what they boast always ticks you off, they remind you of your own family.

On Friday nights, when the alcohol section always closes earlier are the times when you’ll head to the bookstore in the same mall you were working at to read, you knew that’s a really rude thing to do, but you can’t afford buying books anymore. So you read a few chapters every night, and slightly more on Friday nights, you never told your parents about the different working hours on this particular day of the week, you don’t want to go back earlier just to see their scowling faces as they hunch over different sorts of bills and statements.

You finally found a way to cope with your anxiety levels and depression by working out early in the morning, you read from the newspapers at the worker’s lounge in the grocer that it helps, and so you gave it a try, little did you know that you would enjoy it and the feeling of staying fit boosted your confidence. But on days when you felt tired and didn’t achieve the results you were aiming at, your mind reminds you of the times when your parents called you ugly, it was started when they found out you were dating, on those days, a shut of your eyes and you’ll remember the scene of them hitting you unfolding once again, if you focused hard enough you could still feel the sting on your face.

You pushed those thoughts away as you quickly packed up for the night, as you were preparing to leave, a man came in your section, requesting to buy a bottle of wine. You were going to say that the winery section is closed, but as you turned around, the words got stuck in your throat.

It was Mr Suh, dressed in his usual working attire. Even after sitting in the office for a whole day, he still looks breathtaking, his clothes held no crease.

“Y/N,” Mr Suh said your name, the corners of his lips tugging up in a smile.

He remembers you? After so long?

“Mr Suh. H-how can I help you?” you asked, eyes darting around hoping that there aren’t any more customers, worried that they’ll realise that you were letting Mr Suh in despite the closing time.

You weren’t as anxious as talking to strangers before, but Mr Suh was no stranger to you, not really anyways, and he always had an aura that made you shy away from his presence.

“I’m looking for a bottle of Pinot Noir by Emos,” Mr Suh told you.

You took tiny but hurried steps towards a counter where the grocer kept its more expensive bottles, typed in the password and handed it to him. You silently went to the counter, typing in the bottle’s code to ring up the register.

Mr Suh handed you 200 dollars, for a bottle that only costed 85. When you opened your mouth to tell him about the error, he stopped you.

“That’s tip for bothering you after working hours, keep it,” he said.

You tried to disagree, but he refused, saying that it is what he should do. Mr Suh bid you goodbye, before he leaves your sight, he looks back at you with an odd glint in his eyes, one that you fail to read once again.

“I’ll see you soon, Y/N.”

The wine was supposed to be for his conquest tonight, yet when he walked through that hotel door, he knew he wasn’t going to enjoy tonight at all. Maybe the girl isn’t pretty enough? No, she was his usual take on girls he brings to bed, but something was very much off.

Johnny didn’t usually mind a bit of harmless flirting over wine before sex, he did have a tiring day at work, usually this process would calm him down a bit before getting down to business. However, he found the flirting part rather boring and very much tedious today, the girl’s flirty remarks seemed it was droning on to no end. So he sped things up, the wine long forgotten as their limbs tangle up with the sheets.

There was something nagging him behind his head, he couldn’t place a finger on it, until when he closed his eyes, instead of seeing the girl beneath him, he saw you, your tiny body beneath his as your beautiful glossy eyes look into his, the size difference between the two of you significant in his head. That was the image that kept him going, the usual him would open his eyes wide and take in the figure beneath him, but today he kept his eyes closed as he places his head on her shoulder, that action might seem affectionate, but this was just an excuse for Johnny to let his imagination run wild without being questioned.

Johnny left after washing up in the bathroom, leaving just after one round isn’t his style at all, usually Johnny could go up to four or five if he enjoyed the first round, Johnny lets out a big sigh as he gets back into the car, he should’ve asked you to dinner instead of wasting time fucking a girl just to have him imagine her being you in order to finish up.

Johnny puts his car on drive as he swiftly leaves the parking lot, hoping a night’s sleep would clear his thoughts of you. But as Johnny’s head hits his soft pillow, he could only ask himself.

‘What are you doing to me, Y/N?’

When you woke up the next day after a long night of reading through your business course books, trying to take in whatever you can before they realise that you don’t really know what you’re reading at all.

You walked out to the kitchen to grab a quick breakfast, but before you got there, you heard voices.

“We can’t send her college, we don’t have any money left,” you heard your father’s voice say.

“But it’s her future, you’re going to put that after the company?” your mother’s voice questions.

“It’s not like she’s smart enough for it anyways. I walk by her room while she studies, and it seems like she’s just staring at an empty void, we can’t place our future in her hands, we’ll starve!” your father argues back.

What your father said had stung your heart, but after a minute or so after taking it in, it wasn’t the first time they had said such hurtful words about you. You dragged your feet back to bed, no longer having the appetite for breakfast.

You went out for a run when you felt your heartbeat quicken up as your mind floods back all the bad memories that were brought forth because of the conversation you overheard between your parents, trying your best to avoid a full on anxiety attack.

Johnny loves weekends, it was the only time he could invest himself into working out instead of the short two hours he does before work, the gym is the place where he built up his high self esteem, and it’s the reason other than his good looks of course, that brings all the girls into his sight.

Yet he didn’t feel like he achieved as much in the gym after last night’s events. Yes, he did give in his full attention in all the exercises. He purposely slept early so he could feel energized today. Yet he didn’t have the desire to show off his body through a one night stand. The party that he said he would go seemed troublesome instead of his usual excitement of knowing he wasn’t going to bed alone. He took out his phone to text his friend that he was going to sit this one out, making up an excuse about not feeling well.

Johnny was laying around watching television as he scrolled through the latest news of the stock market, feeling a sense of pride as he sees his company’s stock rising after he had taken over from his father.

The familiar chime of his grandfather clock in the corner alerts Johnny of the time, 7 chimes means 7pm. Something suddenly clicks in his head, the sign that states the operating hours for the winery in the mall, you were going to go off work in thirty minutes.

Johnny quickly changes into jeans and a black knitted sweater that hugs his physique perfectly, styling his hair a bit before heading out his door, a smile unconsciously gracing his pretty lips.

When Johnny got to the winery section, he was disappointed to see that you had left, only left with a promoter of some beer, he tried his luck with the staff, hoping to know your whereabouts.

“It’s a Saturday today, so I think she’s off to buy a cup of instant noodles for dinner, she’ll either be at the cashier counters now, or eating at the food court.”

Johnny thanks the promoter as he rushes to the counters, he wouldn’t have spotted you if he didn’t recognise the baby blue checkered scrunchie popping up from the crowd that you wore the last time to match your uniform.

Johnny makes his way in between the masses of people, making some people frown in disbelief as his large figure makes them move away. Johnny plucked the cup of instant noodles out of your hand when he got there, making you jump in fright from the sudden intrusion of your wandering thoughts.

“Mr Suh?” you addressed him when you looked up to see who had took away your favourite brand of cup noodles.

“You’re not eating that tonight, come with me,” Johnny said, his voice more cheerful than the previous times you had seen him, but why?

Johnny takes your hands in his, a smirk making way on his face as he feels your small shaky hands in his large ones, he didn’t mind one bit, instead he likes how shy you are around him. Johnny places the cup of instant noodles on some nearby shelf before dragging you out of the grocer.

When he was out, he stopped in his tracks, turning around to look at you, trying to look into your eyes that were darting away from his. He finds it endearing, how you’re always so nervous whenever you’re with him, it was something very much new to him.

Johnny suggests a few high class restaurants for dinner, rattling off big names in hopes to impress you.

“I-i was only planning to have a cup of instant noodles, Mr Suh. Anything’s fine to me,” you said after many times of trying to tell him that he didn’t need to take you out for dinner.

“But I want you to choose. Go ahead, anywhere you want,” Johnny said and waits, curious of what you’ll pick.

You rocked on you heels and bit your lip in thought as you wrecked your head for ideas to get yourself out of this situation, but you couldn’t help but feel the desire to grab dinner with him instead of eating cup noodles at the food court alone again, and the fact that his hand was still held onto yours made you feel a sense of serenity and had a need to stay with him.

“Do you have somewhere which makes you feel like a child again when you eat their food?”

Johnny was taken back by such a request. Was it touching? He hasn’t felt that from anyone else other than his family and a handful of close friends, certainly not a lady other than his mom. Was it different? Yes. But was it bad? Certainly not, instead he feels a tug in his heart. The girls he met only made requests, instead of asking for his opinion, because they know he could afford anything they requested for, but then there’s you, breaking all of those other girls’ standards. You were also the first one who made him speechless, even if it was just a mere seconds.

“I know a place.”

You genuinely didn’t know why you had made such a sentimental suggestion, you just thought that food from a restaurant that reminds him of home would mean that it was affordable, but other than that reason, it was because if you were to have dinner with a man whom you only had met a handful of times, you might as well get to know him better by knowing little things about him.

You weren’t dumb, you remember what he had said about being interested in you, and that having dinner with him was a risk to your own safety as well. Yet you couldn’t stray away from his dashing smile and the way his eyes shine so brightly when he sees you.

You were slowly falling down the rabbit hole.

The interior of his car had several alterations made to suite his liking, it was interesting, compared to the people who just bought cars based on their ranking and wealth just for bragging rights in an afternoon tea. His car even smelt nice, like the Jo Malone cologne you’ve taken a whiff from the sample sticks given out, you wonder if that’s what he usually wears to work.

You couldn’t help but steal peeks at Mr Suh when he drives, the way he’s so concentrated and how he could casually drive with only one hand on the wheel made you swoon slightly in the passenger seat as his rnb music plays on the radio. You shouldn’t be thinking about Mr Suh this way regardless that he’s interested in you, especially given that the two of you have quite a large age gap, as well as the fact that you weren’t allowed to date until after college. If your parents found out about you going out with Mr Suh, they’re going to skin you alive. That thought made you shiver as you suddenly realise that you can’t be seen with a man out in public, if any of your relatives find out, they’ll definitely snitch on you.

You lowered yourself in the seat as you hope that you won’t run into any of your family members when you reach wherever Mr Suh’s taking you. The drive was quiet, only the radio playing softly in the background, making you feel relaxed. Suddenly, Johnny stopped at the traffic lights, taking a long look at you from his seat.

“Why did you suggest eating somewhere which reminds me of my childhood?” Johnny asked, his eyes full of seriousness.

“I-i just wanted to get to know you better, is that not the right way to make friends?” you answered, glad that you’ve pondered this question yourself.

“It’s not the usual way, but I like how you think, Y/N,” Johnny said before he averts his attention back on the road when the lights turned green.

Johnny could sense something was off with you from the way you looked around anxiously from your seat when the both of you reached your destination, the way your brows furrowed and the way your jittery fingers mindlessly move about. It wasn’t a shady part of town, although the two of you were at the slightly older establishments of Seoul.

“Are you alright? Why are you suddenly so nervous?” Johnny asked, worry written on his face.

You looked down on your fingers that were splayed across your lap, twitching the hem of your skirt to try and calm your nerves with no avail, but you had to say something, Mr Suh, as you’ve grown to realise is a man who’s persistent and straight forward.

“I’m worried that we’ll bump into anyone I know. I’m...I’m not supposed to be seeing anyone or going out with people without permission,” you told him, embarrassed at the fact that you were still very much on a leash despite being an adult.

Johnny feels a sense of guilt settling down his stomach as he sees your eyes avoiding him, if he could take a guess, you must feel embarrassed right now, to have a family like that, maybe that’s why you distant yourself from people around you, they must’ve judged you based on your parents’ decisions towards your life.

Johnny reached towards the spare sweater he kept in his gym bag and handed it to you.

“Here, this has a hoodie. I don’t think anyone would be able to recognise you with it on,” Johnny said in a gentle tone, not even a hint of judgement in his voice.

You obliged and slipped the sweater on, as well as the hoodie onto your head. The sight of your small figure drowning in Johnny’s hoodie made him smile, he never thought his clothes would look so cute on you.

“Come on, it’s peak hour and I’m starving,” Johnny said with a smile that seems to always lift your mood.

You nodded mindlessly, eyes gazed into his warm honey filled eyes and soft smile. When Johnny’s trance broke on you, you quickly reached for the car door, only to see Johnny opening it for you.

‘Must be nice to have long legs to walk that fast,’ you thought to yourself.

But when he held his hand out to help you out of the car, that’s when your head went haywire and could only feel your cheeks burning up from the gentlemanly gesture that you hadn’t expected.

You hope your hand wasn’t shaking as obviously as it felt, or that would’ve been very embarrassing, you thank the skies for the chilly weather, or your hands would’ve started getting clammy from what a nervous wreck you’ve become.

The cold was getting to you as the both of you were waiting in line for a table and Johnny could tell from the way you subtly rubbed your neck, hands lingering there to leave some warmth as the wind blows by. Without thinking, he grabs the drawstrings of his hoodie and secures it surrounding your face like a cute chipmunk.

“There, all better.”

He could tell how nervous his bold action made you feel from the way you stuttered out a thank you, the two words almost lost in the wind from how soft it sounded.

Johnny didn’t know why, but the way you’ll get all flustered from his actions warms his chest like a cup of hot coco in the winter snow.

Not long after, the two of you had gotten a tiny table for two. It was cramped, but Johnny didn’t mind, as long as it’s this restaurant, and as a plus, he could see your face from a closer perspective. He was secretly admiring the shape of your cute little nose while he pretended to look through the menu that he knew like the back of his palm.

“What’s your favourite on the menu? I don’t know what to try first, all the pictures look so nice,” you said as your eyes was open wide with interest, taking in the photos of the food on the colourful menu.

Johnny was taken aback on how you had asked for his opinion instead of the demands of carvier and champagne that he used to hear all the time. He must’ve had a weird look on his face, because the silence made you furrow your brows.

“I’m sorry, that must’ve sounded weird and came off as boring, but I really don’t know what to get, so I thought you should suggest me something since you seem to come here often. Sorry, I ramble a lot when I’m nervous, I’m not a very sociable person, so the things I say might come off as odd...

“No, Y/N, listen, it’s fine. I like it when you talk, and it’s cute that you ramble. And no, I don’t find you odd or boring. I was just surprised you’d ask for my opinion, not many people do that unless it’s about business. I’m glad that you value my opinion, even if it’s just dinner,” Johnny explained, he wanted to listen to your voice longer, but the thought of anything making you uncomfortable surprisingly annoyed Johnny.

It was the first time someone had not found you awkward when you started rambling, you didn’t do it on purpose, it was just that the lack of human interaction made you socially anxious about talking to people and when you want to express something. Johnny is truly an eye opener for you.

Johnny might have ordered a little bit too much for the two of you, but he could always take away and leave it for Mark when he drops by tomorrow. Although Johnny had came here many times, mostly on his own or with Mark, he couldn’t deny the satisfaction and happiness that filled his heart as you tried all the dishes with the most wholesome expressions on your face.

You weren’t Johnny’s workers or business partners, you didn’t need to appease him and give him positive reactions, because with you, he wasn’t Neo Enterprise’s CEO, he was just Johnny and it doesn’t bother him one bit.

The two of you talked about the most random things, from Johnny’s business partners Taeyong and Doyoung fighting in his office, to the time you pranked your co worker by mixing some heavy alcohol into his coffee.

“He couldn’t tell?” Johnny asked, curious because he was a coffee addict himself.

“He thought it was just part of the flavour, it was one of those seasonal starbucks drinks that he bought,” you explained.

Johnny paid for dinner before you could protest and refused to take your money when you had offered to pay him back your share.

You trudged beside Johnny silently when he said that he was going to take you home, you haven’t had such a nice time since forever, and you didn’t want this beautiful moment to come to an end.

You had a sad smile on your face as you watched Johnny drive, it was a peaceful scenery to take in, his face calm as he steered comfortably, the radio once again playing softly in the background.

When you had reached your house, you didn’t really know how to react, other than looking at him silently as he does the same as well.

“Thank you for tonight Johnny, I haven’t had this much fun in a long time,” you said genuinely, grateful that someone as interesting as Johnny would even bother giving you the time of the day.

You figured that this was the polite thing to say, but you inwardly cursed at yourself for sounding like a robot. You shouldn’t be reacting this way, especially due to the fact that he’s so much more older than you are, maybe not too old, 5 to 6 years maybe? Is that considered a big age gap?

“I had a great time with you too, Y/N. Thank you for having dinner with me,” Johnny said, usually he spoke this sentence like a little white lie to whoever he had to meet for business sake, but to you? It was nothing but the truth.

Johnny continued holding his stare even after what he said, the sincerity in his eyes evident as a soft smile graces his lips.

“You should head up now, Y/N. It’s already 9 p.m., if you stay any longer they’ll be suspicious,” Johnny reminded you.

“Yeah, okay,” you replied, immediately feeling down once more.

Even after you agreed to go up, your legs weren’t willing to move, you were going to miss him, so you asked him one last question before you willed yourself to open the car door, you were going to sound desperate, but in that moment, you didn’t have a care in the world.

“Will I ever see you again?”

Happiness fills your heart as you heard the question that comes after.

“Are you working tomorrow?”

#nct smut #nct fluff #nct 127 #johnny suh #johnny smut #nct #nct 2020 #nct dream #wayv #johnny seo

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cafcaf22 · 3 years

Text

Accidents Happen

Chapter 1.

Stardew Valley's newest farmer tends to keep to herself. That is, until she bumps into the Town Doctor. Accidents Happen, y'know.

For someone who works their ass off on a farm by herself each and every day, it doesn't seem like making friends would be the most difficult task on the planet. But it is.

You moved to Stardew Valley a little over a year ago, and you're still stuck in the same horrible cycle: Wake. Eat. Feed the animals. Water the plants. Fish. Eat. Sleep. The routine has yet to change. You spend the majority of your days in the same productive, yet monotonous routine. Motivation gets harder and harder to come by, especially as the summer season ends. This coming winter does not look like it's going to be your friend.

Some evenings, when you really considered the level of your loneliness, you've thought about heading over to the saloon to check in with your neighbors. You thought about it most during the hot days when you needed a refresher after a long day. However tempting a cold glass of beer may be after working up a sweat pulling hundreds of blueberries off the vines in the summer heat, you always ended up chickening out. A common thing for you. You wanted to try- you wanted to reach out, but what would you even say? Hi! I'm the girl who's been isolated on her farm for the last 4 seasons, it's nice to finally meet you! How weird would that be? You didn't want to cause a scene - you never really liked the attention that much, so it wasn't worth the attempt.

One day during the last week of the summer, you stopped by Pierre's to check out some fertilizer for the coming fall season. As you strolled the aisles, eyeing the shelves and brushing past the baskets of the daily offerings, you overheard a lot of chatter about hanging out in the saloon on weekends. The courage you'd need to show up there on its busiest day... Hell, sometimes even Sundays had great turnouts. I probably shouldn't, you thought. If I showed up, it would make everything awkward. They don't even know me that well, and how am I supp-

Your thoughts were quickly interrupted by a body being slammed straight into your side.

"Ow!" You yelped as your wicker basket was thrown onto the ground. You immediately clutch your left side in pain and feel a sharp piercing in your lungs, as the cold floor of the shop shocks your cheek. You blink at the ground, massaging your side as you try to inhale. But that's when you realize you can't. You blink rapidly, trying to take a breath, but the air never fills your lungs. You clutch your chest, trying to feel the rise and fall, but your heartbeat is the only continuous movement. The thumps grow faster, harder. You start to feel dizzy, clutching your chest on the cold floor. I'm hyperventilating. I can't breathe. Am I having an asthma attack? Oh, Yoba. I'm having an asthma attack.

"Oh- Oh my... I am- I'm s-so sorry! Are you alright?" A voice bursts from over your left shoulder as you double over on the ground in pain, trying to find your breath. Fucker knocked the wind out of me, you thought to yourself. You could barely breathe. I need my inhaler- Is it at the farm? The voice continued to apologize, unsure as to whether or not they should step in to aid you. You tried to take another breath, but your lungs fought hard. Fuck, I- I can't breathe, I can't-

"I- I must have knocked the wind out of you..." The voice says to himself, but you don't even register it. You squeeze your eyes shut, clutching your side and focusing on the movement of your chest. It feels like nothing and everything at once. You inhaled to feel the cool air enter your lungs, but it didn't happen. Your body felt like a deflated hot air balloon. The voice continued on behind you, mentioning something about sitting up straight and taking deep breaths. You just want it to stop, can't it shut up already? I can't breathe, I can't-

"Oh my- here! Look at me!" The voice boomed, closer now. He was above you, blocking the overhead lights of the general store. You uncurled from your ball, struggling to breathe. All that comes out are course whispers.

"Inhaler..." You managed to grunt. In less than a few seconds, a cold plastic is pressed against your lips.

"Here," the voice says gently. "I- It's mine, but it will do." The voice spoke again. Everything suddenly grew blurrier, and the voice's words became slurred. You barely made out the deep green coat that blocked all of your view, but it was soft and warm against your skin. "Breathe in," the voice said calmly. You blinked wildly, remembering that you needed to actually inhale. You take a deep breath, and taste the medication as it enters your mouth, and flows smoothly into your lungs. You finally gained some sense back. As you sat back against the aisle of the grocery store, you glanced up for the first time.

Your savior kneeled in front of you, an anxious look spread across his face. Large brown eyes took over yours, encompassing you into his with no effort at all. You stared deeply into them, locked in a trance that never seemed to end as you swam in the honey that swirled within them. His glasses sat on the edge of his nose, ignored in the face of your injury and in dire need of a cleaning. A thick mustache framed the lower portion of his face, complementing the way that his cheeks sat happily above them. He smiled the most endearing smile you had ever seen.

"I am... so truly sorry." He spoke, words of pure velvet. This voice, you thought. That's the voice.

After a few moments of slow, medicated breathing, you were finally able to speak.

"Thank you... I think?" You whispered, glancing down at his hand that held a firm grip on your shoulder. He glanced down, recognizing his steel grip on your arm, and quickly released.

"Can you breathe a-alright now?" He asked, leaning back slightly after realizing how close he had been.

"Yes," you replied confidently while fighting a cough at the base of your throat. "I haven't had an asthma attack in months... I usually keep my inhaler on me, but I guess I left it at the farm," you muttered to yourself, attempting to stand up.

"Hey, let's be careful here," he chuckled, lightly elevating your elbow and guiding you to stand. You glanced into his eyes again, hoping to have his meet yours. He seemed to avoid any effort. "I am so sorry for running into you like that... I would tell you the reason why, but it will sound a lot worse out loud." He chuckled again, running a hand through the back of his hair and fidgeting with the pocket of his pants. You raised your eyebrow, giving him a curious look.

"W-Well... I usually stand out in the garden across the pavement, and there seemed to be a..." He drew out the end of his sentence. You narrow your eyes at him, a playful smile spreading across your lips. "A... bee."

You couldn't help but let out an ugly chortle, the first of a real laugh in months. You had barely mustered up a small smile since you'd been in Stardew, not to mention the horrors of your old 9-5 desk job for Joja Cola. To be able to laugh freely in the company of someone else made you feel years and years younger; it was a feeling that reminded you of how often you got to interact with others - which was not much. The laugh quickly turned into a nasty cough, your lungs screaming at you to calm down.

"I'm so sorry- I didn't mean to laugh like that, it just kind of..." but you trailed off the end of your sentence in order to take in the beauty that was his laugh. He began to speak in fits of giggles, clutching his lower belly and covering his mouth in an attempt to stifle the beautiful sounds that escaped from his lips. His lips.

"No, I'm sorry!" He exclaimed in between giggles. You smiled awkwardly, unsure of how to continue on. You weren't the greatest at conversation, but it seemed like he wasn't either, so the two of you appeared to be comfortable in acknowledging the oddness of the whole situation. "I'm Harvey, by the way."

Your heart fluttered. Harvey. The man who saved me from asphyxiation. Well... The man who almost caused my asphyxiation.

He cleared his throat, and you realized you had been silent for a moment. You gave him your name and smiled, feeling your heart beat at the thought of finally having a friend. Maybe.

"How come I haven't seen you around at the clinic before?" He asked, eyes gazing into yours a little more intensely.

"Oh, I don't usually have any issues," you spoke quickly, trying to avoid the topic altogether. Doctors made you nervous. The ghostly white rooms. The empty hallways. The cold, metallic utensils pressed against bare skin. The intense questioning, and the way you're forced to admit things to a stranger about your own personal problems... Not a great way to spend your time.

Why would he mention the clinic? Does he- Oh... Fuck.

"So... you must be the Town Doctor?" You asked, kicking yourself on the inside for being so stupid. How could I be so stupid?

He blushed, and your heart soared. "You could say that, yes. However, I don't see many patients currently- which, I guess is something I should never complain about... I don't ever want to wish ill-will upon my patients. I don't think that's what came across, but I just wanted to... uh, make that clear," he sputtered awkwardly, attempting to save himself from embarrassment. His cheeks continued to flush a bright red. "Oh, and I understand that you don't necessarily have any... 'issues'... But feel free to come by my clinic tomorrow afternoon for an additional inhaler. Free of charge, of course. It's all that I can give you after certainly causing your episode today- which, I am still so terribly sorry for. I just really, really hate bees."

He spoke the words so quickly, you had to remind yourself to breathe as you comprehended everything he said. Mainly because you were busy staring into the void that was his eyes. Beautiful, golden brown. Heavenly.

"Of course, Doctor," you reassured him.

"Great. I'll see you tomorrow!" He exclaimed, a little too enthusiastically. You smiled in return and bent down to pick up the basket that had fallen just moments prior. "Oh, let me grab that for you-" said Harvey, beating you to the wicker basket. Your heads knocked together, clunking against each other as you both attempted to stand up. You both groaned, rubbing your heads and awkwardly glancing at the floor as if eye contact would cause another ruckus.

"Maybe we should wear helmets," you spoke softly, attempting to alleviate the awkward.

"Maybe," he sighed. "I'll see you around, Farmer." He smiled softly, and swiftly walked out of the store.

Farmer. How did he know I was a farmer?

#stardew valley #stardew harvey #sdv harvey #sdv #fluff #fanfic #harvey fanfic #female reader

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kimburgess-ruzek · 3 years

Text

shattered.

chapter five: interlude pt. 1

story summary: burzek/upstead/unit. Intelligence had been through the worst of the worst trying to get one of their own back alive. Each member has been to their own personal hell. Will everyone make it back, or will the cracks in Intelligence be big enough for the entire team to shatter?

chapter summary: the first night of the team’s weekend off before returning to work proves to be more difficult than relaxing. hailey and jay try to work things out, kim enlists help from a friend when facing difficulties falling asleep, and adam faces a new problem.

a/n: writing has definitely hit a low point for me. it’s like i want to write, and i even know what i want the plot line to be, but getting it written out seems to be giving me a hard time. but i finally got something together and even though it’s not my favorite, i still want to get something out for you.

word count: 5.9k. half is here, rest is on ao3!

read on ao3!

“no, we didn’t catch roy… forget about roy walton.”

the breath escaped hailey as soon as the words left voight’s mouth, and it never returned. she felt time froze around her. she couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. she felt like she was drowning in all of the lies. all of her lies.

she hated lying. especially to the team, to jay. but she didn’t know what to do. she thought after seeing voight, she would feel better for some reason. maybe he would’ve told the team the truth, she figured. but he didn’t. and he didn’t even give her any sort of attention. barely even looked over towards her. she tried to search for his eyes, trying to detect any bit of truth, but she couldn’t. and then when voight started storytelling, it took everything in her to keep her eyes from watering. she thought, maybe seeing her boss would give her a sense of relief, but it didn’t. it gave her the opposite. it made her feel more anxious and scared. and it made her feel not credible. it made her feel like she was a poor cop, a bad cop.

hailey didn’t know what to do, how to feel. hours ago, pulling up to that warehouse, hearing the sounds of brute torture, believing her sergeant was in trouble only to run inside and realize it was the opposite. her mind couldn’t process it fast enough. then staring down the end of a gun, watching as her boss, someone she once trusted her own life with, put her life in danger. she felt betrayed. she was hurt. yet, she still managed to feel guilty for coming in the first place. for going against protocol and for going rogue. but then she finally laid eyes on roy, and all she could think of was everything the team went through the past few months. how much they had progressed to right policing. how much voight progressed. and now it had all gone away. it was all for nothing.

but even though she knew it was all for nothing, she didn’t know if she could live with herself if she just laid down and gave into the pressure. so she fought. and she pleaded with voight to try to do the right thing. and as much as she tried staying tough on the outside, she was terrified. but it must’ve worked because voight was persuaded. or so she thought. and then all hell broke loose. the worst thing that hailey could’ve possibly imagined happened. roy grabbed the gun and it was aimed towards her sergeant, who just began to do the right thing. so hailey did what she had to do in order to keep her boss alive. and so she was on the other side. but the question was, can she handle being on the other side?

the answer? hailey didn’t even know. on one hand, she can’t even try to think about what she did, what voight did, because if she did, she might spiral and never unravel. but yet, the image of roy walton’s face won’t get out of her mind. it was eating her from the inside out. but then she saw kim. saw her for the first time, bruised, hurt, and broken. she couldn’t even recognize her usual strong, tenacious friend lying in that hospital bed. and that’s when, deep deep down, she didn’t feel guilty for what she did. because after looking at how panicked kim was, hailey knew roy walton got what he deserved. and the fact that hailey doesn’t feel guilty makes her scared for what’s to come.

she was lost in her thoughts when she heard a familiar voice coming to the surface.

“hailey. hailey..”

hailey snapped out of it and found herself in jay’s truck, with his hand on her arm, shaking it.

hailey was genuinely confused, looking around. the last thing she could remember was standing in the hospital icu room. “how… how did i get here?”

jay looked concerned and retreated back to his seat area. “um, we walked..??”

hailey just sat there in silence, letting herself catch up. she was so lost in her inner demons that she didn’t even recognize what her body was doing.

jay saw how confused hailey was and to be honest, he was a bit confused himself. he never saw hailey this rattled, ever. and why she was, he didn’t know. all he knew was that hailey came out of this case different.

he continued, “hailey, are you okay?” he looked straight into her eyes, searching and pleading for a honest truth.

hailey’s mind still hasn’t fully caught up to her actions, but she needed to play it off if jay was going to get off her case.

“yeah. yeah i’m just still trying to wrap my mind around this case, you know? how it ended and all.” she wiped her hand through her hair and leaned back into the car seat, closing her eyes.

jay followed suit with hailey, sighing. “agreed. but hey, you heard voight. we need to put this case behind us, forget about it. the sooner we do, the quicker we can all get on with our lives.”

“yeah, sure…” hailey trailed off, staring off into the hospital parking garage.

jay looked at hailey, worried, nonetheless. as much as he wanted to be there for hailey, she was making it difficult by leaving him in the wind. and his patience was starting to run thin.

after a while hailey recouped from her trance and held on to her seatbelt. “let’s get out of here.”

jay just nodded and put the truck in reverse, leaving the hospital and hopefully the confusion with it.

icu hospital rooms hold a different air to them. surrounding them is this sense of cold, emptiness, and lifeless. yet there is always this glimmer of hope, of life, just waiting. for kim, her hope was lying next to her. it was her daughter. makayla ward burgess, asleep, cuddled up under the extra hospital blanket under kim’s good arm. her body weight was a little overbearing for kim’s bruised ribs, but she dare not say anything to ruin this precious moment.

mere hours ago, kim could only dream of this moment. she could only hope to go back to her secure lifestyle. a roof over her head, a job, and her daughter, safe. and then all of that changed in an instant. and to be honest, kim doesn’t know how. she did everything by the book. radioed in, turned her headlights off a block away, notified her team, did the undercover pass. then suddenly, all went to hell. and no matter how many times kim tried to find an excuse, a reason for her ending up the way she did, she just couldn’t. and that wasn’t good. because when she talks to irt and the ivory tower, they’re going to be nitpicking, searching her up and down for a reason. and if kim can’t give them one, then she may be out of a job. and worse, her team could be at risk of an investigation. and like hell were her team going to be at risk because of her and her shit luck.

kim stared down at makayla, how calm and peaceful she was. she noticed her ponytails were a little uneven, which made kim grin. she had to give it to adam for attempting foreign territory.

adam. taking care of makayla. kim couldn’t believe adam took makayla in. cared for her. but yet, she could, because it was adam. but she still was shocked. and, happy. ever since the situation with bob, adam hasn’t been too keen on her, and why should he. but he really stepped up when the time came, and kim did not let that go unnoticed. but at the same time, everything that went down motivated her to not let this ever happen again. she will not have makayla go through losing a mother again.

kim carefully lowered and lightly kissed the top of makayla’s head, surely not to wake her. at the same time she heard footsteps and turned to see adam reentering her room.

he made is way to the chair and half whispered, “hey. the nurse said you should be transported to a regular room in a couple hours or so.”

kim could tell adam was excited, and she was too. this was an obvious sign that she was getting better.

kim nodded, “great.”

a comfortable silence fell between them. both of them were lost in their thoughts before kim spoke, trying to fill the space and beat around the bush.

“so, what did i miss when i was gone?”

adam was glad to see that kim didn’t lose her humor, but he wasn’t in the mood to open up to her just yet. it wasn’t the right time.

adam huffed, “what didn’t you miss?”

kim followed suit, letting out a laugh. “i’m serious. please. tell me what happened while i was gone.” kim could feel the tension in the room when everyone was together, and it was deafening.

adam let out a sigh. “i don’t even know. tensions were high, everything was a blur. all i cared about was finding you. and being there for makayla.”

kim nodded. she knew he wasn’t telling the complete story, but it seems that she wasn’t getting much else out of him. before kim could respond adam asked her a question.

“what did we miss when you were gone?”

adam went on a limb to ask kim this, but he wanted to know what happened to her. what those bastards did to her. and while it would be awful and painful to recall, maybe it could be the first step to actually healing, for both kim and himself.

kim just stared at the wall ahead of her. her mind was still processing it all, she didn’t even know if she had the right answer.

“i.. i don’t know. it’s all still hazy. and. and i don’t really want to think about that right now.” kim was being honest. she didn’t want to rehash it all.

adam pursed his lips. “you know, you’re going to need to try to recall it for when irt asks you.”

kim snapped, “i know.”

makayla began to stir so kim quieted down and luckily, makayla stayed asleep. kim took a deep breath and whispered, “i know. i just, not right now. i can’t.”

adam nodded, not wanting to exert too much on kim. “i’m sorry. i was just trying to help.”

kim nodded, accepting his apology. she knew he had right intentions, but she also didn’t want him to keep pushing her when she wasn’t ready yet.

kim’s perception caught her and she looked at the clock on the wall.

“it’s already an hour past makaya’s bedtime.”

“oh,” adam said, racking his mind with the next game plan. “but do you want us to stay with you until you move to the other room?”

kim shook her head, “no. no i’ll be fine. i’m getting pretty tired anyways.”

adam just agreed, waiting for the next move.

kim hesitated, trying to find the right words. “i know this is a lot to ask. but do you mind staying with her again tonight? i just need to figure out this situation.”

adam immediately cut her off, “of course i will. kim, i’ll stay with her until you can come home. i’ll stay with her forever.” he only realized what he said after the fact. but kim just grinned, taking in what adam just said.

she had tears welled up in her eyes, “thank you.”

adam just gently patted kim on the shoulder, and then ran down to makayla’s back.

then, all of a sudden, kim’s motherly instincts kicked in. “she usually wakes up around 8 on the weekends. and we usually go to a diner for breakfast to celebrate the long week and then we’ll always take 30 minutes to walk outside. most weekends she will take a nap, especially if we walk in the mornings. and um, you might want to ask her about how she wants her hair styled. she’s quite the fashionista.”

adam just nodded and gave his goofy grin. he heard maybe about half of kim’s advice and only retained about half of that. before adam could speak kim continued.

“and… makayla can have night terrors. it’s gotten better in the last few weeks, but when she has them, they’re pretty bad. screaming crying… just. if you need me, call me. i’ll see if i can help.”

adam was able to understand most of what kim was saying, “everything will be fine. you can trust me.” he reassured her.

kim just nodded, taking in a slow, deep breath. even if it was adam, letting go of your child just takes a toll on you.

adam calmly bent down and picked makayla up, who was still fast asleep. before he stood up, kim sat up and kissed makayla’s forehead. she whispered, “goodnight, buddy.”

and she then put her hand on adam’s forearm and whispered, “i appreciate you.”

adam just nodded and walked out the door and towards the exit. yes sure, right now he could’ve hoped to have been in different circumstances. but in this particular situation, he was content.

kim watched as two of the most important people in her life walked away. makayla. and adam.

she sighed, letting her eyes naturally fall heavy and sleep consume her. but instead of getting a peaceful, must needed sleep, she got her worst nightmare.

every time kim closed her eyes, all she could see was red. blood red. and hardened eyes of roy walton. and kent darby’s cold still body. immediately kim opened her eyes to the bright lights, but the images still evaded her brain. she couldn’t sleep. she couldn’t rest, not like this. not alone.

kim thought for a split second and decided to make in impulse decision. she pulled out her phone from under the blanket and quickly dialed the number before talking herself out of it. she let it ring, and when the person on the other line picked up, she spoke first.

“hey. can you come here?”

the entire car ride was silent back to their place. back to hailey’s place. sure jay had been staying there for a while, but he still had his place that he would occasionally go to for a change of clothes. him and hailey were meaning to have a conversation about consolidating to one place, but with everything going on, it looks like that’ll be pushed back to a less busier time.

jay was conflicted. and stressed. and confused. and upset. he couldn’t understand what was going on with hailey, and he couldn’t understand why she wasn’t being honest with him. and it upset jay even more that hailey was just starting to open up to him, yet something made her instantly shut herself off again. and he had a strong feeling that whatever made hailey this way happened when they weren’t together.

back at hailey’s apartment, she quietly got out of the truck and made her way to her room, not waiting on jay. once jay caught up to her, she had already walked inside and sat on the couch, not even turning the lights on.

“didn’t pay your light bill?” jay joked, coming in and closing the door behind him.

hailey didn’t bother to laugh. “i’m tired.”

jay gave a huff and sat down, not too near her. he studied her for a minute before speaking, noticing her furrowed eyebrows, how tired she really was. “where were you when kevin and i found kim?” jay asked, not faltering or stuttering, staring right at hailey.

hailey took a breath. not this again, she thought to herself.

“i’m tired, jay…”

jay didn’t let her finish. “hailey… where were you?”

hailey sat up, looking at jay with her droopy eyes, “why are you so adamant about knowing where i was?”

jay replied with a question, “why are you so adamant about not answering the question?”

hailey stuttered for a moment, “be,because there’s no reason for us to backtrack…”

jay stood up, tired of hailey’s excuses. “yes, there is, hailey. you’ve been acting different, ever since you came back to the apartment, ever since we split up. and you’re not telling me something. i can tell.”

hailey began to grow frustrated. she stood up, matching off with jay. “okay, yeah, maybe i’ve been acting different. maybe i’ve been acting strange and impulsive, but you want to know why? you really want to know why? because my friend, our friend jay, almost died. and i hadn’t seen her alive for almost 24 hours. and i hadn’t slept. so yeah, forgive me for acting ‘different.’ i mean, god, jay. you were the one who said to forget the case. so why can’t you seem to?”

hailey had worked herself up, beginning to pace back and forth and pointing her finger at jay. she was beginning to unravel, beginning to spill the truth to jay. but she managed to steer the conversation in a different way, still concealing the truth while not lying.

jay took a step forward in efforts to calm hailey down. he put his hands in his pockets apologetically. “hey, you’re right. and i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have judged your behavior in that moment. i didn’t mean to upset you.”

hearing hailey’s words, seeing her emotion, make jay regret asking that question. she was right. everyone was running off of adrenaline, and he couldn’t blame hailey for acting the way she was. but he still didn’t get the explanation he was hoping for. however, he figured he would just have to settle for not knowing where she was. or at least, he would have to settle not getting the answer from hailey. yet, jay was tired, and he was tired of fighting, so he wasn’t going to try anything else today.

hailey took a few deep breaths, calming herself down. “i need sleep. i’m going to head off to bed.” she didn’t verbally accept jay’s apology, but she took note of it. and down inside, she felt guilty that he even had to apologize. but all she wanted to do was avoid the situation, and right now sleep was her excuse.

jay was flabbergasted, he couldn’t understand what had happened in the last few conversations with hailey. she had just begun to open up, they were rather living together, they were spending their lives together. and then within mere hours of them split apart, everything changed. and now, when jay is trying to figure out why, hailey isn’t giving him much hints. jay can’t help but wonder if hailey doesn’t want to fight to go back to what it was, what they were. it was like their relationship was in an interlude, except the next part was to be determined and soon to be bad.

adam’s ride back to kim’s apartment was uneventful, with most people off the street and makayla sleeping the whole way. once he arrived, he eased his door closed and unstrapped makayla from her car seat. he carried her up the stairs and straight to her room. fortunately, she had worn her comfy pajamas to the hospital so adam had one less thing he had to do, which is mindfully thanked trudy for. he laid makayla down and tucked her in, not forgetting to snuggle her platypus next to her. he then headed towards the couch. kim’s room was not foreign territory, but it didn’t feel right not having kim there, and it brought up too many memories. all he wanted to do was sleep through the night so he could get back to her, and having a blank mind would help more than hurt.

he snuggled down into the couch, trying to make it as comfy as he can. he grabbed a spare blanket from one of the seats and covered up. before letting sleep consume him, he glanced around kim’s living room, noticing all of the changes she’s made since he last stayed here. all of the newly designed artwork from makayla’s school, the kid-proofed plastic dish ware in the kitchen. he grinned to himself, proud of all that kim has overcome. he knew she would be a hell of a good mom. he’s just glad that she’s proving to everyone else how she’s committed to both her job and her daughter. and as adam drifted off to sleep, his last thoughts were hopes of being apart of this family for a long long time.

it wasn’t but less than an hour of adam’s sleep when he awoke to terrible screams, so awful it made his blood curdle. he jumped awake, trying to gain his senses, remember where he was. when he heard the second scream he was up and headed straight towards it. straight to her. his head and heart were pounding, his mind only focused on makayla and getting to her. because based on the screams, she needed help fast.

as adam rounded the corner he opened the bedroom door, turned on the lights and took in the sight. makayla was still asleep but her body was tense, paralyzed with fear. her eyes were glued shut and she had broken into a cold sweat. adam eased his way on the bed and gulped.

it’s a night terror, adam thought to himself. kim told me about them.

adam racked his mind, trying to remember what kim said about makayla having them. he tried to remember anything useful that she said, but he was drawing a blank. but it doesn’t matter, he’ll have to just do it.

he reluctantly reached out, trying to calm makayla and see if she’ll settle. instead, as soon as he touched her shoulder she jolted awake, sitting up in bed. she grasped adam’s arms for fear life and looked around the room, terrified.

“hey hey hey, kiddo. you’re okay. you’re safe. it was just a nightmare.” adam cooed, trying to soother her.

makayla took a breath and shook her head, “i, i had a bad dream.” she realized as tears were in her eyes.

adam just stroked makayla’s arm, trying to get her to calm down. but inside his mind he was in overdrive, not knowing what to do or what to say. he just continued to soothe makayla, trying to find the right words.

“what does kim do now?” adam asked himself out loud for a sheer chance that an idea might spring up on him. when none came, he went with his gut.

“do you want to talk about it?” adam asked, slouching to makayla’s level.

at his question makayla frantically shook her head, the thoughts from her nightmare creeping back up to her. she was getting worked up again. “no, no, no, no.”

instincts failed, adam thought to himself. shit.

he immediately backtracked, going back to soothing her. “it’s okay. you don’t have to. it’s okay now.”

makayla looked up at adam, piercing through his eyes. “what if they come back for her?”

adam stopped, confused at makayla’s question. “what if who comes back for her? who is her?”

makayla swallowed, gathering up the courage to answer. she whispered ever so quietly, adam having to lean in to hear her. “kim. what if they come back for her?”

makayla’s words broke adam’s heart. shattered. he was at a lost for words. because he didn’t know what to say to her and because he didn’t have the answer. he didn’t know himself. and looking into those deep big brown eyes, so full of fear of losing another mom. he swallowed hard and took makayla’s shoulders, firm but comforting. he wanted to make sure she heard everything he was about to say.

“i won’t let that happen, makayla. i will protect her. i will protect both of you.”

he pulled makayla in for a tight hug, and surprisingly makayla gave in and relaxed in his arms. how she went from being reluctant of him to embracing his tough within 24 hours he didn’t know, but he appreciated earning her trust. and he wasn’t going to ruin it. after hearing makayla’s scares, he was more determined than ever to fight for them, her and kim. and this time he wasn’t going to let it go unknown how much he loved kim. he was going to make it right.

kim was trying to keep herself awake, find something to do to occupy her mind. every time she would even close her eyes the images of that warehouse flashed through her mind, and kim couldn’t think about that. she would only have to wait a little bit longer until he came anyways. only a few more minutes.

kim’s eyes grazed across the room and landed on the duffel bag at the foot of the bed. she had almost forgotten adam brought it. she slowly sat up and reached to grab it. once within her grasp, she lowered back onto the bed and zipped it open. what she saw on top almost made her lose her breath. one of adam’s old tshirt, one of her favorites. it was worn and stretched out and still held some form of his scent somehow. kim was slightly embarrassed that adam knew she still had it. when they called off the engagement, she had packed up most of his things the following day, trying to detoxify the situation as quick as possible, but she still kept that shirt because it was his favorite on her. and she kept it for the good memories of throwing it on in the morning before walking out to breakfast being made.

kim felt like it was almost foreign territory but still picked it up and ran her fingers over the soft fabric. she held it close, almost as giving it a hug, giving into the comfort. she was about to close her eyes, just now feeling safe when she heard a knock on the wall.

“hey i came as soon as you hung up.”

read the rest here on ao3!

#cpd shattered fanfiction #chicago pd #kim burgess #adam ruzek #kevin atwater #hailey upton #jay halstead #burzek #upstead #burgwater #makayla ward burgess #chicago p.d.#cpd fic #chicago pd fanfic

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