#its so fun to make them suffer wth

[hunterbunter3000]

i’m curious on what would happen if sweetheart actually flirted back with the boys, im just wondering how’d they react to it. same with if she did flirt back sexually

OOOOUUUUU THIS IS A GOOD ONE

(I have never flirted in my life at all-- you'll see that throughout this whole thing)

She's never really seen any of them in a romantic or even a sexual light. But after what happened with Alex kneeling and Soap pinning her down, her feelings are kinda starting to change 👀👀

Like with Alex, we was surprised about it, but he immediately goes with it and thinks he has a chance (She's drunk and forgets about it the next day AJAHA)

And with Soap, he just short-circuits LOL like especially when she has him pinned, she'll just look at him for the longest and say "I like you under me." HE'LL BE SO SHOCKED AND TURNED ON

With Ghost, he doesn't really flirt. He shows his romantic ways in his jokes and just taking care of Sweetheart. In my mind, they flirt by just telling each other jokes. And Simon always feels warm everytime

Price? I can't really see him flirt either, he shows his love through his actions (I honestly think that he'll be too rusty to flirt) maybe he'll say something cheeky 🤭

Krueger tries to flirt-- he can tease, but flirt? Why flirt just say that you wanna FUCK (bruh and he has. So many times to Sweetheart. I got a fucking drabble for that shit good lord)

Alejandro is shocked but he immediately likes it. He goes farther more, see where the line ends (hopefully never)

Rudy flirts with his poems, but Sweetheart flirts with him anyway because he's so easy to tease with. He just goes red and starts stuttering over his words, it's so cute to Sweetheart

Roach flirts by physical touch, he's always in Sweetheart's personal space, climbing on her, hugging her, booping her nose. And she does it back-- HE JUST FALLS ON THE FLOOR

Graves doesn't get to flirt with Sweetheart because she doesn't give him a chance to (she either kicks him in the shin or gives him the bird)

Gaz would probably laugh it off, since he's also a teasing flirt. But on the inside he is SCREAMING AND YELLING-- HE IS BANGING ON THE WALLS IN AGONY BECAUSE HE JUST LAUGHED IT OFF INSTEAD OF SAYING SOMETHING ELSE

Horangi wouldn't know what to do with himself. He also flirts through his poems, maybe let a Lil thing slide out here and there but really says how he feels about Sweetheart in his writing (and diary) but if she whispers something in his ear, all low and shit-- bitch we're going to his room.

König? Idk if he would flirt. He would be a playful tease, like "jokey joke haha" but if she would do more than that? If Sweetheart legit flirted with him? He honestly wouldn't even notice if she did. He would think she's joking and then go back to playful. It would take all day until he's laying down in bed thinking about, and then it clicks like "OOOHHHHHHH SHE WAS FUCKING FLIRTING ME FUCK"

#its so fun to make them suffer wth #task force 141 x reader #tf 141 #task force 141 #black fem reader #modern warefare ii #cod modern warfare #modern warfare x you #cod headcanons #task force 141 headcanons #los vaqueros #alejandro mw2 #mw2 rudy #black reader #ghost call of duty #price headcanons #kyle gaz garrick x reader #gaz x reader #cod oc #x fem!reader #141 sweetheart #hunter's ask lounge ☕️

[fandxmslxt69]

🕯 💌 :)

hello cutie!!!!

🕯️was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

oh . my god. um yeah. okay well, most fics are really hard to write cuz im constantly tired, dont have the time or motivation, and run out of excitement or interest very quickly.

BUT, one fic that was really hard was Cute Library Boys it was....I think my first MK fic- it's just a fluffy Steven thing but it was HARD. Mostly bc I was still finding my footing, and because I picked over every single detail over "will anyone like this?" even though really- i was giggling abt it and loved it and thats what matter. In the end i said fuck it and just did whatever- but i remember spending HOURS trying to "fix" it. But ANYWAY it's cute and it makes me giggle (not my best work AT all, again i was still testing out the waters, but it's special to me<3)

One fic that absolutely took a life of its own was Holidays With Them (fluffy MK x muslim! reader thing) & Enchanted 1 and 2 (Loki >:) !!)

BOTH of those fuckers took a) AGES and b) i winged both of them lmao. the MK one started off as a fun little thing, cuz I was Yearning, and then it kind of just....expanded. I had whole ass essays and rants wth people. I made some friends. It was really neat. It just grew on its own like I was possessed and I went from there. The Loki one too- its a song fic, so you'd think i'd have a solid plan, but liek always, these fuckers do whatever they want >:( i HAD a plan but then i blinked and 7k words later, i had a whole different story and not a trace of the original plot. I was possessed once again.

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

HMMMMMM well. I've been working on planning this REALLY big and complicated series (for, SHOCKER, Loki) it's got like 3 different storylines and endings. It's suuuper fun actually, bc one of it is in the aftermath is him dying, and instead of whatever s1 was, we ignore that and suffer through angst >:) and its very traumatising but generally, a happy ending!! and i love getting to explore the what-ifs of a situation and digging through the little cracks of relationships!!! the second storyline is one that follows the show, and its really fun getting to poke at little holes to shove my own ideas into them!!!!

AND THEN im working on some Frank smut (based off of the little thing i put out a little while back cuz why not !!!). Oooh and i'm trinkering with boyfriend's dad!Marc >:)

but Also, I'm Yearning so much right now with all the stupid fluffy talk @hon3yboy keeps spewing and so I'm opening up my Docs with a heavy sigh to write fluffy stuff.

It's really fun!! Will any of this see the light of day soon? Absolutely not. I'm mostly focusing on my novel right now.

But it's fun nonetheless.

ANYWAY THANKS FOR THE ASK CUTIE THAT WAS SOOO LONG LMAO whoopsie :D

#clem talks <3

[thesherrinfordfacility]

LWA here: I don't take the lockdown video as canon, as it's just too obviously a PSA. I do think there's more to be said about Crowley refusing to hear Chekhov's gun going off in the aftermath of S1, although that may be because I've now back-buttoned out of far too many supposed "fix-fics" in which Aziraphale has to abase himself before his much-abused demon. (Folks, they are equally to blame to the miscommunication pileup at the end! The yin/yang, single-character-split-in-half thing always manifests itself by them simultaneously botching things in their relationship! We are shown and told this explicitly! WTH?!) This is my own sequel to endlessly back-buttoning out of fics for S1.

I guess I'm one of the three or so people on the planet who got to the end of S1 and said, wait, there were two unambiguous betrayals during the course of this season, both related to trust issues, and unless they're discussed and resolved you cannot extrapolate a successful relationship out of this ending. Aziraphale betrays Crowley's faith that their friendship is different by not telling him about the Antichrist; Crowley betrays Aziraphale by manipulating him like /everyone else manipulates him/ by tempting him to kill first Warlock, then Adam. And there was a start to acknowledging the first during the bar scene, but there is no sign in the script that Crowley apologizes, mentions what he did, or even feels badly about it.* Fan attempts to excuse the manipulation usually repeat Crowley's own justification for the act at the park bench, but the script, via Madame Tracy, insists that "you can't kill kids" is a moral absolute. Crowley, and Aziraphale for going along with him, are in the wrong, end-stop. That was just such a massive stickle-burr for me in terms of conceptualizing how Crowley actually sees his own power in relation to Aziraphale's, and this season concretized that they are both suffering from trauma-related superiority complexes that they act out in ways that deny each other agency (Crowley by concealing information from Aziraphale about Heaven & Gabriel, then attempting to demon-handle him back into damsel-in-distress mode; Aziraphale by still being stuck in binary thinking patterns and offering Crowley a redemption plot he doesn't want).

*--I've seen exactly one analysis-in-fic-form that refuses to let Crowley off the hook, "Auguries of Innocence" (https://rainjoyswriting.dreamwidth.org/241857.html#cutid1), written by someone with experience teaching ethics. I think the author makes Crowley much too self-aware about what he did, but her conclusions about why he might be unable to bring himself to apologize are pretty plausible.

sliding this under a cut:

awesome, that's what i was kind of hoping someone would agree with me on (re: lockdown), mainly because from the feeling of the plot in s2 (plus the contextual characterisation already discussed about aziraphale's ability, vs surrender of his will, to protect himself/crowley's compulsion to overprotect), it felt rather extraneous of the canon narrative in retrospect. it felt like a fun, quirky PSA in isolation, but i didnt want to automatically discount it as not having its place in the story either if it indeed had one! so, im glad someone else was thinking what my gut was saying - that it is likely to be the former.

i get that many people are hungry for some kind of comfort following s2's ending (completely understandable), but i can't currently bring myself to read any fanfiction that follows the events of s2 because of this exact reason you've mentioned. frankly, i personally find it a little too uncomfortable that the resolution seen so far - in general terms, there are well-written exceptions - is for aziraphale to metaphorically prostrate and punish himself for the whole breakup, especially when i personally felt pretty much since ten minutes after finishing ep6 that there was more to it than aziraphale seemingly wanting to change crowley "into the angel he wants him to be", and rejecting him when he wouldn't. it's way more nuanced and complex than that. and every time i rewatch that scene, it feels so obvious that they are speaking words that on the surface fit together in terms of dialogue, but they are saying completely different things.

i love a misunderstanding-leads-to-angst trope, it's one of my favourites, and the way the dialogue was written in this scene to have so many interweaving and contradicting layers and meanings was a profound and immersive depiction of this. ultimately my end impression (until a point we get an actual Conversation in s3 that discusses these exact points) of the scene is that:

- aziraphale will always think he should and could do better and be better, even at the risk of sacrificing everything including crowley, and do so with only the greater good in mind... no matter if the greater good doesn't truly exist in the way he hopes or expects it to (and therefore is completely immaterial), and:

- crowley will always continue to keep and bury aziraphale in his own rage and pain, drawing him back in whenever aziraphale shifts to step outside of it, and do so because it's a constancy that has thus far worked in giving him purpose and a sense of being wanted.

there's way more to it than that, but those were the immediate first impressions i got. they may love each other endlessly, beyond understanding, and that's wonderful; but love alone is not enough to sustain a relationship of any kind. there has to be trust, yes, but also mutual respect, support for each others' true wants and needs, and a sense of wholly knowing yourself (even the things you wish you could change, or you dislike) so you know what you are giving to the other person. my perspective on being in a partnership is that your heart is no longer just your own, it becomes the other person's too - if not more - and you have to be someone that can be entrusted with it. neither of the characters give me the impression of having really learnt this yet, and have demonstrated on multiple occasions, including the ones you mentioned, that they haven't.

having a read of what you linked, this is exactly along the lines of why i think crowley doesn't want to recognise, or cant recognise, what he did in tempting aziraphale and manipulating him on the occasions that he did... because what would happen if he did accept it? and opened up the pandora's box that is bringing aziraphale's attention to it? how would aziraphale ever see crowley the same way again? id love to say it was the same lines along which i was thinking when i wrote the below re: saviour complex, but is far more insightful and eloquently put:

and also here, when talking in response to another ask of yours about I Forgive You:

essentially: that if aziraphale were to know why crowley does what he does, did what he did, if aziraphale received an explanation and a genuine apology for it, would crowley only be met with benevolence? or would he be genuinely forgiven in a way that is actually meaningful to him because it comes from aziraphale the person, not the angel? the latter would be too much to bear, i think. the irony however is that in not giving his shortcomings air, taking them out of the locked box he's crafted to hide them, he's occasioning further opportunity for misunderstanding between them.

trauma in whatever form is not a valid excuse to project that trauma onto someone else. it can be empathised with, but not excused. again, as always, at the risk of human-ifying two supernatural beings, it is entirely human to fuck up and do so, it's going to happen - that you hurt someone you love by keeping them in your pain. but it can't keep happening in a never-ending cycle, and has to have a breaking point that all parties actively learn from. this ground, them acknowledging having any feelings for each other, is brand new for them to tread on, but when it comes hand-in-hand with having millennia full of trauma, shame and pain, they also need to tread very carefully.

#i truly would give my life for LWA✨ but their asks do give me migraines and a sense that im not as intelligent as i think i am #good omens #ask #flashback meta #crowley meta #aziraphale meta #s1 meta #s2 meta

[madraleen]

Attack on Titan - Hajime Isayama Vol.26-27: A Roller Coaster of Emotions Commentary

-i'm laughing bc beast is literally like FUCK EREN FUCK YOUR REBELLION FUCK THE FOUNDER GIVE ME LEVI

-i hope levi gets his revenge and doesn't die

-ARMIN YOU HAVE NOT SUCCUMBED TO FACIAL HAIR SYNDROME EITHER I KNEW YOU WERE A FAVE FOR A REASON

-'the other ackerman' haha

-i miss eren. as in, i miss seeing his pov, seeing him talk, seeing him interact

-oh this is armin's plan

-i'm surprised eren isn't just eating jaws...? to get the titan power...?

-EREN IS COMING HOMEEE

-ooooh "assassin's bullet"? oh no... who's getting killed. should i get tissues. not one of ours?

-armin always reaching out to stupid eren help

-how long has it been eren, how long is it since he left, the jerk?

-oh levi. you haven't changed a bit, i love you

-"it's normal to kill them" jesus, gabi

-oh. oh sasha. oh no.

-ZEKE'S PLAN?!?!?! OH YOU BETTER DO SOME EXPLAINING YEAGER BOYS!!!

-"you put your trust in us... and we've lost our trust in you" nice hange

-mikasa crying for sasha, my heart

-eren imma need you to show emotions babe. babe please help us.

-anyway i feel better now that we're with the survey corps.

-my heart hurts for eren. i don't know what's happening, but it's eren and i love him and it hurts seeing levi confirm that he never expected to see HIM like this, and goddamn i need answers and reconciliation.

-i'm not just anxious to uncover all the mysteries, to see who lives or dies, i'm also stressed to see who will snap. who will slip. who will make a misjudgement and how much it will cost.

-YESS THREE YEARS AGO ON PARADIS HERE WE GO

-the pure titans be having a dance party in the background

-um. alright, anti-marleyan volunteers... but zeke kinda nearly destroyed us...

-OOOH OKAY, zeke turned ragako into titans.

-"to crush the world to dust" eren is OUT FOR BLOOD

-"welcome to our filthy island, home to defiled devils" LEVI I LOVE YOU

-WHERE WOULD THEY GET SEAFOOD, YELENA!

-why can't we have this kind of fun all the time :'(

-armin my pacifist bb :(

-ayy, eren's shot panel followed by sasha's getting shot panel, pain

-PAIN PAIN PAIN PLEASE LET ARMIN AND EREN FIND THEIR WAY BACK TO EACH OTHER OH MY GOD NOT EREN AND ARMIN

-will we come to understand eren? like, on page, not on analysis and intuition

-eren with a manbun and no facial hair. yes, good, keep this. I MISS EREN LET'S SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH EREN POV

-ngl i've missed seeing eren say 'fight.' it's been so long and it was so defining for his character.

-"my dark night!!" LMFAO SCHOOL MIKASA WTH

-what is this demon eren pose on v27 cover.

-okay but why is eren angry with US? why won't he talk to us, to hange, when HE put us in the worst position?

-ey, mikasa gets her speshul status too. she's hizuru's hope. welcome to the hope club, don't let the pressure break your back

-sir. you gave your father to the authorities, what do you mean you've always been loyal to your father's dream. sir. zeke. oh. oh i see.

-WHY IS HE ATTACKING HANGE, EREN WHAT ARE YOU DOING NO. man he's so desperate. you CAN'T turn against him, he so fucking desperate and hopeless and broken

-NO HANGE YOU'RE THE BEST COMMANDER DON'T SAY THAT

-who. who is the baby daddy? who is historia's baby daddy? does eren know about this?

-i'm so angry. i'm so angry at what we (the characters) have been through, at how we've been backed up against the wall again and again to the point that we (the characters) became like this, and i'm so angry at all the suffering we (the characters and the readers) have to go through. it's all so HOPELESS. part 1 was suffering and pain and questions, but there was always hope. there was "okay, we'll fix the thing, we'll learn the secret, we'll take back the city, we'll find the traitors," there was always a concrete goal and you could see hope at its attainment, you could believe that things would get better if only we had this thing. but now? there's no hope. there's no good outcome. there's nothing. there's literally us against the entire world, and the way we're going, us against each other as well. there's nothing!

"you all got so big... how dare you." L E V I I ADORE YOU

-why. why did gabi and falco have to go to the blouse house. why. so good. so painful.

-not to be armin, but... why can't we all just talk :'(

-why is the horse smiling when gabi falls, lol

-WHY DID LEVI FEEL THE NEED TO SAY HE WAS POPULAR ENOUGH WITH THE LADIES OH MY GOD HOW IS LEVI THE COMEDIC RELIEF IN THIS GODFORSAKEN MANGA

-i don't know who to trust! except levi ofc, levi is special

-what the fuck...someone blew up zackly...

-oh. eren has escaped. of course. because why not. to quote mikasa... “what the hell is happening?”

-eren back to his shirtless wonder era

#attack on titan #attack on titan manga #manga #manga commentary #i think this was the point i started needing spy family's hand-holding

[inkstainedhandswithrings]

For the ask game!

giving u options cause i can’t choose lol

🥀🌸🌵 for Rex, Echo, or Nevaeh! <333

Hiii girly! Thanks for the ask! Bc ur special u get all the answers :))

🥀: darkest headcanon/theory

Rex: most of my like,,, "Rex's dark stuff" is just general clone headcanons because Rex is sort of Nevaeh's "way in" into the clones. so all my Rex angst is pertaining to my character studies of the clones individuality, humanity, rights, and autonomy. and I vent abt that all the time. But here an angsty thought abt Rex's autonomy: I talked about Anakin not always respecting it, but still, we see Rex gain individuality and humanity and, even though Anakin tends to violate it, Rex does also gain a sense of autonomy. Meaning that his body is his and not someone else's and he knows it. And then order 66 happens :')). and all the autonomy he did gained over the last three years is ripped away in abt 5 seconds :'))

Echo: He was largely awake and conscious for the Techno Unions experimentation and modification on his body

Nevaeh: [saturn u did it, u found a way to make me spoil her back story. I will dm you, if u rlly wanna know]

🌸: favourite headcanon

Rex: he is an amazing CO and suuper confident and sure of himself when in captain mode, but put him in any for of social situation ever and he turns into the biggest fcking dork idiot, just stuttering his way through every sentence bc how the fck do normal people even talk? wth man how???

Echo: pre-Citadel everybody thought that he was the responsible one and Fives was the troublemaker. The reality is that Echo was never dragged along on Fives' schemes, he participated willingly and happily and came up with a good 45% of the pranks pulled on the Captain

Nevaeh: She will not hesitate to deck someone actually. Like she is a very restrained and respectful warrior, and a kind person, though she is straightforward and outspoken too, she's never openly offensive. But ooh, you offended someone she cared about? you put your hands on a family member? you try pulling any sort of shit on someone she loves?? you get roundhouse kicked in the face and then punched in the stomach. She will not hesitate to hold you down until you apologise either. Oh you wanna report it to her CO's? Who do you think taught her this sort of behaviour? (Terrans are actually so much more feral than u think girly)

🌵: fact about them in one of my aus

Rex: this story will mainly be helping Rex finding, and understanding, his humanity and the many facets it can have. its going to be complicated and at times even painful, but in the end he's gonna be better for it.

Echo: now, this story is gonna be a fix-it au, but I still think that Echo's story is IMMENSELY powerful and I don't want to take away from that. At the same time, I also don't want him to suffer as much, so without giving away too much,,, he'll still blow up, but the aftermath will be different

Nevaeh: Not necessarily a fact, but I just loved building her culture and lore. I even started developing a language for them and it's honestly been such a fun time?? so here a couple key points on 'Vae's culture :)

There are 6 Tribes of Terra

1. Tikaani Tribe (Wolf)

2. Maahes Tribe (Lion)

3. Namiri Tribe (Panther)

4. Kada Tribe (Crocodile)

5. Nahash Tribe (Serpent)

6. Catus Tribe (Gorilla)

Nevaeh is Tikaani. Tikaani originated on the Terrans original planet, and is therefore considered higher status than the others. The other 5 Tribes live on different planet's that have been colonised by the Terrans (any native species to these planets has been fully eliminated (bc we don't do Mary sue over here (yes, I agree that colonialism is terrible and no, I do not support it)))

Warriors get a lot of respect on Terra, since they offer their lives to protect their people (which is why the clones' treatment has most Terrans like '???')

The next Tribe leader is one of the current Tribe Leaders children, but it's not about age or gender. The next leader is elected by the members of the Council of Six (Tribe Leaders), which is why most children of Tribe Leaders grow up in competition with their siblings.

I've been traveling all day, but this was sooo fun girly!!! thanks for the ask :))

#if some of this didn't make sense im sorry and just let me know I'll fix it. just brain fried bc travel ahhhh #captain rex #arc trooper echo #tbb echo #nevaeh requa #star wars #the clone wars #clones #swtcw #clone wars #ask game

[wuxiaphoenix]

Writing Fanfic: Another Weird Trick

Now let’s talk about the neatness of very different cultures or groups running into each other. This is far easier to pull off in original fiction than the AU Villain. Entire books and even series can be made out of cultural clashes; Barrayar by Lois McMaster Bujold is one stunning example, and C.J. Cherryh’s Foreigner series is one of my personal favorites to read and re-read.

The thing is, it usually takes a whole book - or series! - to set up a proper cultural clash. If all you want is to write a relatively short, fun story exploring the concept, you may not have the energy for that. So how to do it in a short piece for fun?

Trick #2: Crossover Cultural Clash.

Every show, and group of heroes, has its own “culture” and standards as to what are the proper ways to do things. How do you defeat an enemy - by beating them in a card game, or beheading? How do you treat a friend; candy and hugs, or a rough pep talk when the chips are down? What are the limits when you’re defending people you care about? What’s the worst thing that could happen to you on any given day?

If you find two shows that you think you can make fit together for a story, you have a built-in culture clash.

Three authors on Archive of Our Own I’m particularly going to recc’ for this: Kryal, Ellen Brand, and Jedi Buttercup. I’m sure there’s plenty more, but I’ve been following these three for a long time.

For Kryal, two that are particularly good are The Dragon-King’s Temple (Stargate/AtLA) and What the Cat Dragged In (MCU/Miraculous Ladybug). The usual levels of violence are higher in Stargate and the MCU, so there are some interesting ways things either get toned down (ML) or we see more real-life consequences than usual (AtLA).

Ellen Brand has plenty, but I really like Unprofessional Opinion (outsider take on Detective Conan) and Loose Ends (Tony Hicks of Godzilla: the Series poking Sunnydale). An outsider’s look at how really weird a canon situation is brings the wonder of the original canon right back again.

Jedi Buttercup... wow, so many awesome crossovers. Pausing to Wonder (CSI/Dragonriders of Pern), imagine the delinquency (Sleepy Hollow/Guardians of the Galaxy) and Of Iron and Fire (Fast and Furious/The Last Witch-Hunter) are three in particular you would never think work... and they do.

In case anyone’s wondering, there is one particular culture clash I’d like to see in a fic, but I’m not sure I can write it myself. That would be Shen Yuan (Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System) as Shen Qingqiu suffering reverse culture shock by getting dumped back into the modern world still as a xianxia cultivator... and still up against monsters that need his level of skills and power to take down. Say, if he ended up in the Chitauri invasion of NYC, or something....

(Which a friend pointed out is actually three culture clashes in one neat package. 1) Reverse culture shock of coming back to the modern world. 2) NYC is definitely not China. 3) Aliens WTH.

Bonus: I'm a scholar and geek, not a fighter, why does everyone expect me to use this sword, I'm not Liu Qingge-!)

Free to good home!

#archive of our own #crossover #svsss au #svsss #fanfic ideas #writing fanfic #culture clash #shen qingqiu #shen yuan #scumbag system #scumbag villain

[slxyangel]

Misplaced (Slash x Reader)

Summary: So he won’t let you drive his car? Okay then, he’s gonna suffer...

Wordcount: 2.1k

Warnings: A LOT of smut.

A/N: Read this if you’re horny. And if you aren’t read it too, you’ll end up horny.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!!

Masterlist: https://slxyangel.tumblr.com/post/189625800403/masterlist

Your hands held the steering wheel as tight as they could and you felt the hem of your pulled down black lace panties pressed against the middle region of your thighs. A grin was spreading wide on your face. You were sure that, if you looked down, you would be able to see the fabric peeking under your awfully short dress, but you were already distracted enough and you didn't want to have an accident, so your eyes were strictly on the road. Instead, Slash's were looking at you so intensely that you felt the side of your head starting to burn. You knew you were being naughty, but at this point there was no turning back. Oops.

When you stepped out of the restaurant after dinner it had costed you a lot to convince him to let you drive his Corvette, but after some of his whining and some of your necessary emotional bribing he had acceded. Now, for the inconveniences, you were decided to make him suffer a little bit, so in the 15 seconds it took him to reach the passenger's door and get in the car you had pulled your panties halfway down your legs, just enough to let him see they were “out of place”.

You were pretty surprised that during the first half of your way home didn’t realize. He was too busy focusing on any minimum scratch you could potentially inflict on his four-wheeled baby just because you weren't him. But the moment he laid his eyes on your misplaced lace underwear… oh, lord save us all, he went fucking feral.

- If your pussy is wet and the upholstery of my car ends up stained you and me are going to have a problem.

- You said "if" as if you had a doubt my pussy is actually wet. Do you have it?

- What are you, teasing me?

- I asked you first.

You were pushing his limits far beyond control point, and you were having genuine fun. In your entire twenty-three years of life you hadn’t met a soul who was as “teasable” as Slash, more specifically as horny-Slash, and that gave you life. You two were always playing this kind of games, testing each other’s ground, pulling each other’s strings, so there was nothing new about this situation, but still it was useful for keeping the flame alive. After a moment of silence, when you thought he wasn’t going to say anything else, he spoke very quietly yet very clearly:

- As soon as we get home, I’m going to shove you against the table so hard that you are going to have a back pain for two weeks.

Holy shit. Well, if your cunt wasn’t soaking two minutes ago, now it definitely was. Maybe he was going to have to shove you against the desk too. Or the kitchen counter. Or the wall.

You parked in the garage of the penthouse you two shared, and the 18-floor way up in the lift seemed even slower than usually. Wth your dress considerably up and your underwear considerably down, you were looking into his eyes and he was looking into yours, extremely close but not touching each other; vibrating with energy, both unwilling to break the tension that could be cut with a knife, both determined to play that game. It costed you big time to introduce the key in the lock with Saul hovering behind you, but when you did and the door closed behind his back, there was no way out of that one.

His lips crashed into yours with the strength of a wrecking ball, fiercely, even angrily, and of course you corresponded. In zero seconds he removed his jacket and t-shirt and continued kissing you. You were so deep into the kiss that he caught you off-guard when his hands suddenly moved to the sides of your thighs. He grabbed the hem of your panties and pulled them up violently. And up, and up, and up. You felt the fabric pressing against your throbbing core as your tiptoes almost levitated over the floor and you were holding onto his bare shoulders. An uncontrollable shudder climbed up your spine and he whispered in your ear:

- This is how you learn not to misbehave.

Little bastard. He held you from the back of your thighs and pulled you up, carrying you away from the hall and into the living room. You took advantage of the position of slight superiority of your head and with a quick twist you bit the side of his neck, sucking and leaving a tiny mark, visible in the dim light coming from the window. He grumbled in surprise and left you on the floor right away, your lips shining with a victorious grin. He looked back at you with daring eyes: “So you wanna play, huh? Okay, so be it.”

The big dining table that filled a fair part of the room was behind you, almost in contact with your lower back, and he seemed to realize that at the same time you did, because the moment you exchanged looks, he sharply pushed you against it, kissing you with renewed desire. Now your ass was sitting on it with your dress barely even there to separate your skin from the wooden surface. His hands traveled straight to your hips, pulling up the skirt and acceding to your panties. As you concentrated in the task of undoing his belt, you were surprised by the sound of ripped fabric and the sudden feeling of fresh air on your wet pussy. That motherfucker had destroyed your favourite underwear with a snap. He sure as hell wasn’t going to get away with it, you’d come up with something.

However, you had more important things to focus on at the moment, meaning his pulsating cock, aching to be liberated from the fabric that covered it, so you got to it. The very minute you laid eyes on his length, even though it wasn’t new for you, your eyes shut open with lust. You let out a puff and felt the irresistible urge to put it in your mouth and suck the living hell out of him. You got off the table and on your knees in less than a blink, and before he could say a word your grabbed his dick and you swallowed it with your eyes closed, enjoying the glorious salty taste of his tip. You heard him make rough noises out of pleasure and you started bobbing your head and playing with your tongue, rhythmically. Without stopping your motions, you opened your eyes to see Saul’s head bent back, hair floating behind him and eyes shut. His fists were clenched at both sides of his body, as if he was trying to stop himself from grabbing your hair because he knew how much you hated it. The sight was magnificent.

You started running your free hand up his still covered thigh until you reached his hand. He opened both eyes and looked down at you, as you guided his now less tight fist to the back of your head. His eyes seemed unsure of what you were doing, but you took his shaft out of your mouth with a “pop” and nodded at him, giving your unspoken permission. Tonight was not the time for containment. Then, with your tongue you drew an invisible line from the base to the tip, pressing hard enough along one of his thick veins, and got back to business. Your left hand was now holding his balls and your head was moving faster, following the slight pressure of his grip on your hair. You hadn’t stopped looking at him for a second, and the intimacy of your eyes locked to his felt too heavy, yet infinitely comfortable. When he caressed your cheek with his left thumb you sucked harder.

- Shit, babe - he stuttered, somewhat pulling away - if you go on like that, I’m gonna cum.

- And so? - you asked innocently.

- Well, - a smile painted his lips - because we don’t want that to happen. Not yet.

He gently held your hand and helped you stand up as you greeted him with your warmest smile but, as you expected, gentleness didn’t last much longer. (Thank God). He grabbed your head by the sides with both hands and held it firmly while he kissed you with a deeper intensity than before. The way he was gripping you you barely had freedom of movement to actively correspond him, but you were eager, so you fought for it like a tiger. The kiss was downright filthy and your breathing as well as his became uneven in a couple of seconds. Your hands ran up and down his bare chest until the time you finally decided to torture him a little bit more. His dick was covered with your spit and his own precum, so you used that preexisting lubrication to start jerking him off and moaning like the little bitch you felt like.

- Please… - you begged. You were drunk with lust.

- Please… what? - His voice tone was now a few octaves lower, more raspy, full of desire. - Ask it nicely.

- Come on, you already know what I mean...

His hair tickled your collarbones, and he was so close that, even in the dark, you could see his dilated pupils. His right hand let go of your face and traveled down to your bare cunt.

- Holy shit, you’re soaking. - the way he spoke made it look like it wasn’t already fucking obvious that you were horny enough to bake cookies inside of you - But I want you to say it out loud.

While he was saying those words in your ear he started drawing circles with the palm of his hand in your pussy. Meanwhile, your hand was still working wonders in his length, but he was containing himself like a champion.

-If you don’t say it there’s no prize…

He inserted a finger inside of you. Oh, shit...

- Come on, doll.

Another one. Christ, please, don’t do this...

- Say it.

He was going to drive you crazy.

- I want you, I want your cock. I want you to fuck me so hard I can’t even walk straight afterwards. Could you please do me that fucking favor?

He stopped.

- My pleasure.

And he entered you. Oh my god, that was an understatement; he split you in half. With a swift motion he had taken his own cock from your hand which, to be completely honest, wasn’t in the most suitable condition to do its job, and he had pierced you so hard and so fast that you saw black for a moment. Now you were seated on the table again with Slash’s lips sucking hickeys in your jaw, neck, collarbones and shoulders. At this point, your dress was bunched up in your waist and the thick straps were halfway down your shoulders; it was only there to bother, so you got rid of it. You hadn’t put on a bra earlier this evening, so now your breasts bounced along with his tireless ramming. Thirst-stricken, you dug your long nails in his back, tracing ten fine lines across his shoulder blades, and you bit the side of his neck where you had left a sensitive red spot earlier. He pulled your hair back, pounding even harder into you, and you thought you were going to lose control. The soundtrack was nasty: skin slapping, loud moaning, desperate growling, even screaming, furniture scratching the floor… a whole orchestra made out of filthy, pornographic makeout.

The whole experience was so hard, so intense that you were legitimately shocked when the orgasm striked you. Your body was torn between holding on to him, to have him closer, to get more of his contact, his skin, his presence; or bending backwards so subhumanly that your scalp pressed the table and your ribs still touched his abdomen. In any case, he chased after you and after his own orgasm like a lion hunting his prey. Both your highs were rigorously synchronized and you repeated each other’s name like a mantra at the same time your lips were almost sucked together.

Your legs were still wrapped around Slash’s hips and your upper body was crushed between his weight and the wooden table, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. You stayed like that for a long while, not wanting to break that precious atmosphere; his head on your chest, his hair all over your face, your fingers intertwined at both sides of your bodies, both of you recovering from the lack of oxygen and the excess of sex. Now that you thought about it coldly and evaluated damages, maybe he was right after all, you were going to have a back pain for two weeks.

#imagine #oneshot #one shot #Smut #slash #slash x reader #fanfic #guns n roses #gnr fanfiction #gnr #slash smut #slash fanfic #slash imagine #guns n roses imagine #classic rock imagine

[davidardiansyah]

2019: A Year in Kpop

Dickens once wrote in his novel, A Tale of Two Cities, “It was the best of the times, it was the worst of the times”. This phrase aptly sums up the year of 2019 for Kpop - a moniker for Korean Pop.  Some called 2019 the best year for Kpop in this decade while others called it the worst year of Kpop. 

In my last review, I wrote how 2018 was a big year for Kpop as it wrecked havoc much of the western world like a storm. And as expected, in year 2019, Kpop is just getting even bigger and gaining more momentum outside its safe haven of South Korea and the larger Asian continent in general. Known for its dedicated and strong fanbases, Kpop industry has become a commodity. The soft power of Kpop �� and the corollary fashion and beauty industry — catapults the South Korean economy, racking in billions of dollars back into the country, especially with the success of the global acts like BTS and BlackPink. Suddenly, everyone wants a bit of Kpop. The western media were scurrying to appeal and sign on with Kpop acts such as BTS, BlackPink, Monster X, Ateez, TXT and SuperM to name a few. 2019 saw Kpop acts appear in many American TV shows and music festivals, as well as performing concerts in many cities. In all, it is safe to say that Kpop has taken ground in America.

To begin, 2019 is a year of BTS. A year ago I also said 2018 was the year of BTS. I told my friend that BTS has such an amazing year in 2018. To that, my friend replied: BTS hasn’t even reached their peak yet. I was a little skeptical back then. How much bigger would they get? Oh boy I was wrong. 2019 is a huge year for BTS — and even huge might be an understatement. For those who are still unaware, they are the biggest boyband in the world right now. A short for Bangtan Sonyeondan or literally Bulletproof Boyscouts, BTS broke many records and took home countless of awards this year with the release of Map of the Soul: Persona. The album takes inspiration from Jung’s thesis in psychology of the same name: Map of the Soul. Following Persona, fans are expecting that Shadow and Ego could be the next releases. For the first time since the Beatles, they had three number one album in Billboard 200 within a year. This year, the septet completed their world stadium tour and sold millions of seats, with historic performance in Wembley London and Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. However, for me, it is the performance for the MMA stage that left strong impression, especially so the solo performances.

Moreover, their single Boy-with-Luv, a collaboration with Halsey, is named the song of the year in Korean year end music awards, broke the Youtube records, and last but not least loved by many. Boy-with-Luv (Korean name:  A Poem for Small Things) is a catchy pop-song with bubbly and cheerful tones complementing the visuals.The B-side tracks also shine with Mikrokosmos being the feel-good song and Make it Right, composed by Ed Sheeran, as your mainstream chill-pop song. Home is my personal favourite with its jazz and R&B textures, followed by Jamais Vu for its interesting musicality. The album ends with Dionysus, a hard-hitting hip-hop of old school Bangtan. 

If the Kpop boy group is dominated by BTS, one could said BlackPink is the counterpart for the girl group. BlackPink released its most anticipated comeback yet with Kill This Love which top many charts. Kill This Love was briefly named the most viewed MV in YouTube, only to be sidelined by BTS’ Boy-with-Luv just a week after. Kill This Love is a marching-band style hip hop song that is a typical of BlackPink hard-banging repertoire. This comeback pulled through YG amidst the scandals embroiling their senior group Big Bang and YG’s executives. Some might even call BlackPink as a saviour for YG. However, fans lamented for the lack of supports for BlackPink, arguably the sole powerhouse of YG right now, with Kill This Love remains but another mini album. To date, BlackPink, a three-year old group has not released a full album yet. In this album, Don’t Know What To Do is my personal favourite, followed by Kick It and Ddu Du Ddu Du remix. Admittedly, Ddu Du Ddu Du was the most successful BlackPink release ever, with the MV crossing the 1B stream in YouTube this year. BlackPink too went for a successful world tour and was featured in Coachella this year.

Now that we have cleared the big acts of 2019, let us sails through the rest of the Kpop acts. Older and senior groups like EXO and Super Junior made comebacks this year as well with Obsession and Super Clap respectively. With the members starting military services, remaining active EXO members such as Baekhyun and Chen releasing solo songs and Chanyeol and Sehun as duo. In addition to individual EXO members having busy schedule, it is no wonder and expected that we will only getting only one comeback each year. The following year we may expect more solo activities or subunits as well, especially with more members serving the military. Meanwhile, Super Junior is finally coming back as a full group, with Ryeowook and Kyuhyun ending their military service. 

It is worth mentioning that Seventeen, another rising star in Kpop is having a big year in 2019 with three releases, Home, Hit and Fear. Of those, Home catapults Seventeen to greater height earlier in the year. In my opinion, Home appeals to larger audience, while Hit is a banger and Fear just okay. Seventeen, known for their amazing vocals and dance synchronisation, is going for world tour in 2020. We can expect big thing from Seventeen. Meanwhile, MonstaX has a bumpy year in 2019. Embroiled with controversies, MonstaX saw Wonho leaving the group in the second half of the year, shocking fans both in Korea and internationally. This was a major setback given 2018 had been a big year for MonstaX. They were featured in many American shows as well as making cameo in Bare Bears series. We can only hope Wonho and the rest of MonstaX members are are coping well through this unfortunate incident. Alligator and Follow were two major releases from MonstaX this year. Both are arguably typical MonstaX sounds. Other acts like Got7, Nuest, Winner, NCT also make comebacks, but are lacking the hypes compared to Seventeen and MonstaX. Perhaps, NCT 127 who are riding into their popularity in America is worth a special mention. However, Superhuman isn’t as powerful as Regular or Simon Says. NCT dream meanwhile, cameback with Boom Boom, which surprised me with catchy chorus.

In the girl group scenes, Twice has a good year as well. I mean when will Twice not have a good year right? This nation-loved girl group has two major releases with Fancy and Feel Special. Fancy is another Twice-ish song, loved by many and doing well in charts, but pales against Boy-with-Luv and internationally against Kill This Love. In fact, all these songs were released back to back. 2019 is indeed a year fandom war. Besides BlackPink and Twice, Red Velvet made three comebacks with Zimzalabim, Umpah Umpah and Psycho. The first two were the ‘Red’ sound while Psycho ‘Velvet’. To be honest, Psycho trumps them all. Befitting the name, the soft yet piercing high pitch sound is the unique signature of this song. It’s new and fresh. Similar concept to Peek-a-Boo and Bad Boy, Psycho is a must-listen. Unfortunately, Wendy, one of the members suffered injury during the year end music festival and I wish for a swift recovery for her.

Mamamoo was another big girl group that dominated 2019. Riding on the rising popularity in 2018 with their four seasons’ albums, Mamamoo had a comeback with Gogobebe and Hip. Both songs earned high spots in Korean major charts. One of the members, Hwasa also had a successful solo career with Twit, a catchy song laced with flute textures. Other acts such as GFriend, AOA and APink also made comebacks among others. APink, being a senior group among the rest, is worth mentioning for their comeback %%. If you haven’t listen to it, please do. %% was definitely a good song to start 2019.

In the rookie scene, Tomorrow by Together, the new Bighit boy group and the junior group to BTS had an amazing year with two major releases, Crown (Korean: One Day Horns Grew Out of my Head) being the debut song and Run Away (Korean: I Will Wait for You At Platform 9 3/4), their first comeback. Crown is the fun and bubbly pop song with Run Away delivering emo-rock style. We give a round of applaud to TXT (the short form — Bighit with its naming sense) for fresh sounds, setting them apart from the senior group BTS. ITZY, the new JYP girl group also had successful debut year. If TXT is called global Global Super Rookie, ITZY is the Monster Rookie for stellar performance in Korean charts and abroad especially wth Dalla Dalla — though not my kind of sound. One special mention is Oneus with Lit, a banger with Korean inspired sound — think of BTS’ Idol. 

The budding acts like Ateez and (G)Idle both have two comebacks this year. The former with Wave, a tropical house sound and Wonderland, a marching band-inspired sound, while the latter, continuing the Latin vibes with Senorita and Lion. Everglow also had successful comeback with releases such as Bon Bon Chocolat and Adios. Both are good catchy summer songs, with Adios being another marching band-inspired sound. It seems that 2020 will see the trend shift to this style of music. Meanwhile, Pentagon made a comeback with Humph!. This was the first comeback after EDawn left the group earlier. Humph! continues to deliver the signature sound of Pentagon, with its minimal layers of instruments.

The solo scene is dominated by Chung Ha, with successful releases such as Gotta Go at the start of the year and Snapping the second half. Chung Ha overshadowed Sunmi, who made a comeback with Lalalay. Lalalay is unique for its retro high-pitch eastern inspired instrumental sound. Big acts like IU and Taeyeon also made huge comebacks this year. IU’s Love Poem and Blueming performed well in charts as usual. Taeyeon had two releases, one at the start of the year with Four Seasons and one at the end of the year with Spark. Both songs did well. In the R&B scene, Heize released We Don’t Talk Together, composed by BTS’ Suga. The song is laden thick with emotions coupled with melancholic instrumental and visual. It seems that females dominated the solo scene, even in the OSTs scenes, with songs from Hotel del Luna blocking the charts. Of which, Heize’s Can You See My Heart?, Taeyeon’s A Poem About You and Paul Kim’s Goodbye are my personal favourites. Correction, Paul Kim is perhaps the only male act worth mentioning here who had a successful year with Me after You, Goodbye and Every Day Every Moment (a 2018’s release!).

In the duo scene, Bolbbagan4 and AKMU had an amazing 2019. Being digital Monster, Bolbbagan4’s releases are loved by Koreans. This year, the duo cameback with Workaholic. Meanwhile, AKMU is finally making a comeback after Lee Chan Hyuk’s release from military service with How Can I Love the Heartbreak, You Are the One I Love. Both songs earned them Perfect-All-Kill (PAK) in Korean charts (after the new system). The other PAK worth mentioning are IU’s Love Poem and Blueming as well as BTS’ Boy-with-Luv — the only PAK with the old system, arguably harder to achieve. Congratulation to all winners.

The band scene saw the rise of Jannabi, the indie band with retro sound. For Lovers Who Hesitate is an ode to the nineties, with its warm and tender retro sound. It’s also worth mentioning that the vocalist of Jannabi has charming and swoon-worthy vocals. Although the band faced some bumpy road that ended up with one member leaving the team, Jannabi is an act to watch for. N-Flying also had a successful start of 2019 with Rooftop. Originally the song didn’t do well in the chart but slowly rising and top the rank eventually, making them a rising newcomer in this industry. That leaves us with mature group like Day6 who has had stable releases over the years. This year Day6 releases Sweet Chaos, an alternative-rock bop.

While 2019 was a good year for many acts, 2019 also saw the rear side of Kpop. I won’t go through them in detail but it’s good to reflect on these series of events and hopefully do better in the next decade. To begin, 2019 is marred by the Burning Sun prostitution and drugs scandal that led to Seungri quitting Big Bang and Yang Hyun Suk leaving YG. Following this, the Jung Joon Young’s scandal on the sharing of explicit content in KakaoTalk, a Korean messaging platform, caused many acts to retire from the entertainment industry and brought others into the spotlight. The floodgate didn’t just stop there, B.I., the leader of iKon was also reported to have purchased drugs some years ago. B.I. left iKon, who had a successful 2018. The end of the year, we also learnt that the Produce 101 series were rigged with briberies and vote manipulations. The producers reportedly picked the final line-ups prior to nation-producers’ final voting counts. That is why also X1 and IZ-one had tough year in 2019, despite both of them having good releases prior to the exposé. I wonder how their future will look like? Lastly, Park Kyung exposed some artists for suspicion of sajaegi, or chart manipulation, that sparked a nationwide discussion. In fact, the issue of sajaegi had been raised up multiple times in the recent years but seemed to have blown-up more this year, with many artists stand in solidarity against sajaegi and fairer system. 

Before we end, allow us too a moment of silence. 2019 saw the passing of fx’s Sulli and Kara’s Hara, victims of malicious commenters and haters. It seems we didn’t learn from the passing of Jonghyun two years ago. While we are deeply mourning for the loss, I hope they are now in better place, happy and resting in peace.

In short, 2019 is indeed the best year of Kpop — and the worst at the same time. However, as previously said by Jang Geu Rae of Misaeng: when a project fails, it means we never planned properly, but we shouldn’t throw away the lessons from this failed project, we should learn from the setbacks and plan for better future. Echoing RM’s speech in Golden Disk Awards, we hope that Kpop artists will continue to work hard, produce good musics and be rewarded fairly. Let us hope for better Kpop scene in the new decade.

Happy New Year.

#MyGratitude

[bottlesofrogue]

Esme Dawson - Ikemen Vampire OC

Image credit goes to: https://picrew.me/image_maker/43383 Name: Esme Dawson Gender: Female Birthday: January 29th, 1986 Age: 24 Year of Arrival: 2010 Height: 5’3�� Weight: 121 lbs Hair Color: Blond Eye Color: Brown Personality Type: INFP Diplomat - Mediator Occupation: Medical Transcriptionist (Former) Family: Mother (Linette), Father (George), 1 Older Sister (Leanne), 1 Younger Brother (Thomas)

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History: Esme had always been a sensitive person.  Both her mom and dad worked, so she didn’t spend a lot of time her parents while they were together.  She was the middle child, and her older sister was protective of both her and their younger brother.  However, as the middle child, Esme often felt left out.  She became quiet and withdrawn at a young age, not because she was shy, or didn’t like people, but because she learned to entertain herself when her older sister was busy and her younger brother was being taken care of by their mother.  She told stories to herself from a young age, liking fairy-tales and ancient myths.

Her father was a very erratic person, quite particular in his ways.  Her mother was the rock of the family, giving stability to her children.  But their father didn’t care much for displays of affection, and this stunted the emotional growth of the three children to some extent.  The three children, Leanne, Esme, and Thomas, all dealt with this in different ways.  Leanne was very action and goal oriented, the kind of person to try to get the best grades.  Thomas was prone to acting out and trying to keep attention on him, whether negative or positive.  Esme generally just faded into her own little world.  She was generally content to do this, though sometimes she would share her thoughts with her siblings when they were shut in due to bad weather.

Esme’s early years were generally benign.  She didn’t always get along with the members of her family, but they were generally close.  She didn’t do very well socially at school; she just never seemed to quite pick up on how to fit in.  Not that she acted out in any particular way to draw attention to herself, but kids often targeted the shy, awkward, or different kids.  The fact that she always seemed to be looking at something far away didn’t help much.  Her unguarded expressions meant that she had little defense against their teasing, and because she reacted, they teased her more.

Esme picked up an interest in writing when she was still in elementary school, though she was generally reluctant to share her work with others, especially her fellow students.  This continued on through junior high and high school.  But in her high school years, things took a turn for the worse.  She started becoming ill quite often.  At first her father accused her of making things up.  Esme was generally an honest person though, so her mother didn’t believe this.  However, she thought her middle child might have over-exaggerated how unwell she was.  When Esme passed out in the middle of a math exam, and didn’t come to right away, they began to believe her.

After many hospital visits, and a few more fainting spells, Esme was finally diagnosed with a rare blood disorder.  It was one that had no cure, but it was survivable with proper care.  However, all the time spent off work for her parents, the missed school time, and the recurring trips to the hospital really wore away at Esme.  She finished high school a year late because of her health concerns.  Sometimes she could feel some resentment from Leanne, whose college was put off because of the emergencies in the family, and from Thomas, who suddenly wasn’t getting as much attention.  While she knew her siblings still loved her, the resentment still stung.  And she couldn’t even blame them.

For a while Esme worked as a general transcriptionist; it was work she could do from home and try to help pay her parents back a bit.  From all her writing for ‘fun’ she had become quite a good typist, and it was one of the few skills she would admit to having.  Her mother coaxed her to put her money towards schooling for medical transcription, which paid more.  Esme agreed, and this got a little more resentment from her older sister until Leanne realized it was to help her that Esme was doing this.  Finally Esme was able to get her sister off to college, for at least a starting semester.  She didn’t keep much money for herself, but her mother finally encouraged her to put some money aside.  Esme, not really feeling positive about her own future, did this reluctantly.

Finally Esme’s will broke.  She was tired of all the time spent at hospitals.  She was tired of the needles and the experiments with medication.  She was tired of passing out, of not being able to do what ‘normal’ people her age were doing.  She was tired of always feeling like she was on the outside.  Taking her savings, she bought a ticket to Paris, telling her parents that she hoped the break would give her courage to keep going, that a change of pace would be good for the soul.  In truth, she was running away from her family.  She had no intention of returning home only to have her family watch her suffer and die.  Instead she would spend whatever time was left to her enjoying the culture of Paris, a city that held so much promise in its history.

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Personalty: Outwardly she might be misunderstood as shy, aloof, or even snobbish.  This usually means she’s just deeply in thought or daydreaming.  But she’s not very good at pretending to feel what she isn’t feeling.  Quite often her expression is a true indication of what she feels inside, even if it’s not obvious why she might feel that way.  Her mind is always filled with a struggle between what should be, and what is, between the beautiful visions in her mind and the blandness or horror of reality.  She feels a huge discrepancy between who she is and who she would like to be and is full of insecurities, often feeling betrayed by her poor health.  

By nature she is kind, and often frets if she feels she has hurt anyone or disappointed them, but she doesn’t always have the foresight to anticipate when her actions might lead to one of those outcomes.  Generally she tries to do whatever she can for other people to minimize suffering, but when she feels helpless to aid others, the feeling consumes her to the point where she almost loses the ability to function.  With her health so poor, she often keenly feels how ‘useless’ she is and this wears on her psyche.

As an aspiring writer, she can be picky about language, but is more relaxed in speaking than in writing.  She’s also very uncertain about her writing ability, and is more than likely to flip out of someone tries to read any of her stuff.  She loves music, but has no especial talent concerning it; she has a nice singing voice,  but is untrained in its use.  She likes gardens, but prefers to observe them at a distance due to a strong fear of wasps.  While she’s not exactly timid, she’s the kind of person to weigh consequences, and when she acts suddenly she often chastises herself for being impulsive, despite the fact that she’s very emotional.

The biggest strain on her personality is her poor health.  Her disease has caused her to spend a lot of time with doctors and in hospitals.  She doesn’t like touching people because most of the physical contact she has is from doctors taking care of her.  As far as she’s concerned, physical closeness usually means she’s going to be poked and prodded at in a clinical fashion.  Because of her failing health, she doesn’t have much experience with relationships; she doesn’t want to fall in love and put the burden of her sickly nature on someone else.  She feels bad enough that her family has to deal with it.   ^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^

Fragmented First Impressions: (ie. What she was thinking during the prologue.) Comte de Saint-Germain: Lion-like. Impeccably-dressed. Grateful for the return of her earring. WTH Scent? Too polished. Elegant & cultured.  Archaically honorable.  Cryptic word use. IN CHARGE.

Napoleon: WTH Sword? Piercing eyes. Odd word choice. Firm, but gentle. Serious. Direct. Protective.

Arthur: Casual, relaxed. WTH Deduce? Stop objectifying me! Flirting is scary! Always seems amused. 

Sebastian: Impeccable. Very professional. Excellent chef!  Formal. Pragmatic.  Doesn’t coddle. Disinterested. Strict. Calm. WTH Vampires?

Mozart: WTH Cold? Ethereal beauty. Sharp. Inexplicable. Avoids contact.

Theo: Impatient. Angry. Brusque. WTH Rude?

Vincent: Patient. Angelic, soothing smile. Sweet & serene.

Isaac: Avoids eye contact. Shy?  Irritable. Proper sounding. 

Dazai: WTH Window? Cheerful. Confusing.  Contradictory? Modest? 

Leonardo: WTH Grabby Hands? Melodic voice.  Shocking. Gave warnings. 

#ikemen vampire #ikevamp OC #vampsona #blood donation OC

[winewitandwords]

If you hear hoofbeats....

They say that when you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras. And that’s something that’s really been on my mind lately- think the norm, not the exception. But what happens when the norm for you is a conditioned response, or a negative self talk and conversation. What happens when you’ve been through so much that those hoofbeats take you right back to where you’ve fought so hard to come back from? What do I mean exactly? Well, earlier today I was talking with a friend that has a similar history of bad decisions and experiences when it comes to the men we chose to let into our lives, and we started discussing how the triggers we have- like the tells weve discovered from our past partners, the lies weve been told, the feelings weve felt, can cause us to have issues in our current relationships or even present as problems in building future relationships. For example, my friend is seeing someone that works away a lot, and while he texts her every morning, and sends her good morning selfies and makes a consistent and honest effort to maintain  contact every day, its hard for her not to think about what he could be doing while hes away from her. Its hard for her not to think the worst each and every time he falls asleep without texting her back or saying goodnight. Is it because hes a bad guy? Is it because she doesn’t trust him, or the foundation for the relationship isn’t there? No, it has nothing to do with him, honestly- he could be the greatest, sweetest, most amazing man, and shed still have those issues.  Its hard for her to establish a positive response, to have that reassuring self conversation that can calm her nerves and ease her mind, because she is so conditioned to the worst case scenario- she hears those hoofbeats and she thinks horses, because that’s what her past experiences have led her to think- when in reality, perhaps she should be thinking zebras, because the fact that its not the norm, is really kind of the whole point, isn’t it?

So how does one re-train themselves to think zebras? How do we undo the incredible amounts of damage that have been inflicted by past partners and experiences? Its not like theres some magical easy button or eraser that can undo where weve been and what weve gone through- and I personally don’t think that erasing it from our history is the answer. I think that to fully change our mindframe, to allow ourselves to step away from the conditioned responses that weve developed in the past, we have to allow ourselves to first fully explore and come to terms with where weve been and what has happened. I think we need to learn how to air our dirty laundry, how to bring the feelings and experiences that weve hidden so deeply away, to  light, and truly examine them- so that we can take away the power that they are still able to hold over us. Easier said than done, right? Well, Im a firm believer in practicing what I preach, and heaven knows, I have a lot of past baggage that still holds power over me. I’ve always felt like I needed to hide the broken pieces of myself, like having gone through some of what Ive been through has made me “damaged goods” and cast me off in a corner of misfits and broken souls.

 Recently however, I have been really focusing on coming back to terms with myself and really working on falling back in love with the person that looks back at me every morning in the mirror. Ive been re-learning the importance of self care and learning how to be at peace with my choices, and experiences, even if some of them have been less than stellar or led to less than healthy places. And I truly believe that an important aspect of that is finally being able to talk about some of the things I’ve gone through- to finally face them and be able to be so completely honest about them- something that hasnt always been easy for me, as I’ve always been that annoyingly stubborn person wth the impossibly high walls and have always been absolutely terrible at letting anyone see the vulnerable, raw and true parts of me. 

Why here? Why now? Why anonymously for the whole world to read? That part is easy to answer. Here- because its safe. Its the world wide web, where no one knows me, no one is looking over my shoulder or down their noses at me- judging where I’ve been or what I’ve done. I mean, go ahead and judge- I fully expect it- how could I not when I still judge myself so harshly over some of these things- all Im saying is in the land of the interwebs, its less scary to open up and face those judgments, as I wont have to face the one issuing them every day in my every day life. Anonymously because I can change names and locations to protect all of the players in some of these stories, including my beautiful baby girl who doesnt need to grow up in the shadow of her mommy’s past transgressions, and my friends and family, who are not always completely innocent, but have also never asked to have their selves raked over the coals in the process of my own journey. As for why now? Because I’m tired. I’m tired of fighting emotional battles that no one understands, over things that no one really knows about or has seen in their entirety. I’m tired of being so emotionally exhausted from trying to hold all my broken pieces in, and hiding the damage that they cause on a daily basis, of telling people “I’m fine” when truthfully, I am so far from fine that its not even funny. I’m tired of feeling guilt and shame over my deepest, darkest secrets, instead of facing them and accepting them as part of what has made me who I am today. And, finally, as far as why am I posting any of this to the world at all? That one is a no brainer for me. I know that I am not the only one that has struggles. I know that I am not the only one that has been through hardships and pain and made bad choices and had to suffer the consequences. I know that there are others out there that are feeling lost and alone and confused and broken- and I know how much I wished that there had just been that one person that understood totally and completely where I was coming from. I want to be that person. I’m hoping that these words may find their way to someone that needs to hear them, that they may bring light to someone thats been stuck in their dark place for far too long. Im hoping that they will inspire courage and hope, as well as entertain and bring laughter- because, folks, if you cant find even the slightest sliver of humor in admist of the darkness, you can trust that me and my big mouth and sarcastic tendencies will find some for you! 

Anxiety and depression, post traumatic stress disorder, borderline personality disorder, bipolar- so many more to list, these are all conditions that make things from our past so much harder to face and process, and I have a few of them in the bag. And honestly, were all in this together. So please,  if you feel like following, reading, feeling, pull up a seat and settle on in. I recommend pouring a glass of wine or something of the sort- god knows I’ve probably got a glass going 90% of the time while Im writing, and good wine deserves good company- and hopefully what you feel will be good reading. Thats about all I have for now- stay tuned for the next post... where I’ll really start to delve into the fun stuff, once I decide which pile of dirty laundry to pull out first. I want all you beautiful souls to keep your heads up- youre amazing!

#letgo #loveyourself #takeawaythepower #selftalk #selfcare #mental health

[doux-amer]

I FINALLY SAW CAPTAIN MARVEL AND I GOT EMOTIONAL WATCHING IT. Okay, calming down now. As a lot of you know, my expectations were low as the marketing was lackluster, I was nervous about certain choices that were made, etc., and even though I avoided any CM chatter, I heard murmurs of mixed reactions...so my expectations were pretty much on the floor when I went to see it. I just hoped it would be fun even if it was okay, but uh...I REALLY ENJOYED IT. It’s not perfect and when I was talking to Alanna, she said people said it reminded them of CA:TFA (it really does in certain ways and I get why they said it, but TFA, for all its cheese and its weaknesses, is one of my favorite MCU movies lol). BUT! I! LOVED! IT! I don’t care about the unevenness because all that fell to the wayside by the sheer, all-encompassing joy I felt watching it. 

This is how I wanted to feel watching Wonder Woman because I adored Diana as a little girl and it didn’t happen although I kept quiet about my disappointment because I wanted people to go support it anyway as it was super important that it did well. THIS THOUGH. I wanted to punch my fist in the air so many times and laugh and hug and hang out with Carol. I JUST. GOD. 

I’ve experienced unfettered happiness and fun before with Marvel—that’s how I felt with The Avengers and with Spider-man: Homecoming. But this? This was the first time I was a fan of someone from the comics before seeing a movie and seeing it come to life the way I so hoped she would. It was extremely special because of that particular element and I got emotional because of it which I didn’t expect. I really felt disconnected to Carol from what I saw in the trailers and was afraid the movie wouldn’t resonate because it would be very white feminist-y. It wasn’t. And that hero on the screen? THAT WAS MY GIRL CAROL. I’m kind of getting slightly misty-eyed writing this. But GOD, I waited years for this and it’s just overwhelming wth!

I’m going to do my usual bullet points. If you want to avoid spoilers, scroll past this long post:

I was turned off by the silliness of the trailers and Carol’s more serious moments came off as unconvincing in them, so I expected not to connect with her. I WAS WRONG. I GOT MY GIRL. I’M WEEPING! She’s emotional! She’s feisty and bullheaded. She can be serious and fueled by anger. She can be fun even when she’s a fierce warrior, but not to the point that it’s distracting! Her humor is very much her own and very much Carol. It’s not witty. It’s goofy. She clearly finds herself hilarious which I LOVED. SHE’S SO DORKY, SMILING AT HER OWN JOKES. 

The movie stayed away from what could have been a cringeworthy white savior undercurrent by making Carol culpable in the suffering of the oppressed. I know the Skrulls are aliens and look like them unlike the other aliens we’ve seen who you can’t exactly forget are played by POC characters, but lbr that narrative is about refugees and...look at current events lmao. As a Kree warrior, even if she unknowingly participated in the Kree-Skrull war ignorant of the truth, she hurt a lot of innocent people. And that’s great! It’s not that she was this pure person swooping in to save the weak or whatever. This is something she had to grapple with once her memories came back and her eyes were opened and she knew she had to make amends.

It reminded me strongly of Tony in IM1 with Obie dealing under the table to terrorists and becoming a part of a corrupt machine without meaning to. It didn’t matter that that was the case; he still felt responsible and accountability became a huge part of his story.

This origin story reminded me of Cap’s, not because of the whole military aspect to it lol but because of how she’s “just human.” Carol never gives up and Steve doesn’t either. They get knocked down? They’ll shake it off and stand back up. I might’ve gotten a little emotional here too which I didn’t expect. Plus she wanted to prove to herself that she could do whatever the hell she set her heart on. The other parallel was the whole fighting for the government/military who end up not being so great and going rogue thing.

It made me sad because we won’t get the Steve-Tony-Carol friendship we so deserve, but lol while the credits were rolling, my sister was like “Yeah, Tony’s going to die” because she’s the obvious successor. Originally she said it was because of his powers when I asked why and then she agreed when I pointed out that it’s not just because of his powers, but in terms of personality and a whole slew of things that reminded me of him AND Steve (it’s like Peter in CA:CW and SM:H). She feels like the linchpin holding the MCU together like them too. 

Like the fact that Carol was the reason for the Avengers’ existence! That was obvious, but that scene where Fury’s typing on the computer and he looks at that photo of her before changing the name of the initiative? HM....I WAS VERKLEMPT.

Also, I loved how they made her get her powers. It wasn’t an accident. No one sacrificed their life for her. She got her powers because of her own actions. She got her powers because she was being a HERO. SHE IS WHO SHE IS BECAUSE OF HERSELF. LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!

Speaking of that, I was surprised by the Mar-Vell plot twist because we all thought that would be Jude Law and I expected Annette Bening to be someone else (who she sort of ended up being anyway) lol. I didn’t mind that they did that. Love that she was Carol’s mentor.

I loved the female relationships. CAROL AND MARIA’S SCENES. MARIA BELIEVING IN HER. MARIA TALKING ABOUT HOW HARD IT WAS FOR HER AS A SINGLE MOM AND A WOMAN IN THE AIR FORCE, BUT CAROL DIDN’T CARE ABOUT THAT. THE PHOTOGRAPHS OF THEIR LIFE TOGETHER...BINCH...I MAY HAVE BLINKED OUT A TEAR!!!!! Carol being cute with Monica! Monica urging her mom to be a hero while Maria wanted to watch out for her because she has Monica to think of now, not just herself. Monica being responsible for Carol’s Captain Marvel getup! Carol and Maria getting involved with Lawson because she was their ticket to proving themselves and moving up! 

And yet the movie didn’t get too hammy and heavy-handed with feminism (I hate it when some people write stuff that way because I find it extremely sloppy and ineffective)! We didn’t have to have a female villain just because we had a female lead superhero. We didn’t have to have moments where Carol says preachy lines. That moment where she just raised her eyebrow at the motorcycle dude? Fantastic. She didn’t have to deal with that scumbag. That moment where Yon-Rogg tried to pull a typical Man Move TM by trying to make her prove herself to him (and trying to take ownership of her development and strength)? She didn’t have to be all cocky and say some quip or cheesy af line. She wasn’t even that angry because he’s not worth it. He’s an ant beneath her foot. He’s irrelevant. She just says it straight up that she doesn’t have to prove anything to him, and that was what made that so powerful for me. It resonated because she said it like it was the truth, plain and simple, and it WAS. 

No romance shoved in not because Carol didn’t need no man as a Strong Woman but because there are more important things at stake and honestly, the romance was with her wife Maria her relationships with other humans and the Skrulls were the emotional crux. They’re an important part of who she is and of rediscovering her identity. God...like her relationship with Fury? So well done. It was the buddy cop movie that I so wanted. I loved their jokes and their mutual respect for each other. I love how they became so important to each other and we saw Fury deeply care about someone and showing that. One of my favorite scenes is the one where they’re washing dishes together. 

They also didn’t shove Coulson in too much which I was afraid of. We got to see where Fury started off, a greener one but one who was as compelling because he was so human. We got to see Fury deeply caring about someone and so openly (this is the guy who said, “I'm just an old man who cares very much about you“ to Tony in AoU). It was nice seeing how the whole belief in superheroes thing truly started with the both of them (Coulson had his whole Cap thing, but I feel like this was the moment where he imagined having a hero like that in his own time was possible).

Uh let’s see. I love Goose. I don’t particularly care for animals in movies even though I know people obsess about them, but they didn’t overdo Goose’s part. 

All the little callbacks to the comics! KSD showing up! 

The period part of the period piece wasn’t overdone which I appreciated. Carol typing made me laugh, the slow download and AOL shoutout made me laugh, and damn, the fashion and music? I was over the moon. You didn’t have to go over the top to make us immersed in the 90s. Also, my heart sang when we got Carol on a bike on the open road in a leather jacket. The bliss I felt is indescribable tbh.

Ooh the special effects were good for the most part! Loved seeing her fly and loved seeing her gut ships and destroy missiles. It felt real. Space didn’t feel cheesy af to me which was a problem I had with GotG 1. 

Speaking of flying and punching things, it was so viscerally satisfying to see her do that. One of the things that really did it for me was how she enjoyed her powers. It was exhilarating seeing her fly for the first time (similar to seeing Tony taking out the suit for a test flight in IM1). Her little laugh/whoop of excitement? That’s what it would be like to discover you can fly! That grin when she breaks free of the Kree dampening her powers and she can feel her powers at full force running through her? That’s what it would be like to be at 100% and have all that. I wanted to jump out of my seat and feel what she felt. It made her powers not feel very OTT-overpowered? Carol has....too many powers and is super strong to the point that she’s overpowered, but uh...idk I didn’t have a problem with it here, mainly because of this. 

The post-credits scenes were good too like....WOW, HUH. I watched this in Dolby (my first Dolby experience!) and I GOT EXTREMELY, EXTREMELY, EXTREMELY THIRSTY OVER STEVE IN A BEARD AND OUT OF HIS SUIT AND A TIGHT WHITE SHIRT!!! I DON’T KNOW HOW I KEPT IT TOGETHER BECAUSE I ALMOST DIDN’T WHICH WOULD’VE BEEN EMBARRASSING. BUT PHEW!!!!!! STEVE? WHAT A *****!!! Thought the scene was nice too even though I wish Carol got better hair. I assume she flew and that’s why she looks so bedraggled, but uhfhghdaoifhas I hated her hair in this and want Carol to get the nice hair she deserves (preferably a short butch cut...thanks. C’mon, Brie wants it too). OH, ALMOST COMPLETELY FORGOT TO MENTION THAT IT BROKE MY HEART TO HEAR HER SAY, “YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHO I AM. I DON’T KNOW WHO I AM” AND TO NOT KNOW WHERE SHE BELONGS. SHE’S NOT KREE, BUT SHE’S NO LONGER FULLY HUMAN NOT ONLY BECAUSE OF HER POWERS BUT BECAUSE OF HER LIFE ON HALA AS WELL. I loved how we saw her journey to accepting that and who she is now and how that was all tied up nicely with her wearing her old leather jacket the Rambeaus kept for her and her new suit as she goes into space. What a great moment and a nice visual cue to a comics cover I really like of Carol wearing her jacket over her suit and staring up at the stars. I feel like trying to find her place and her identity are important to her so I loved that we got that here and we’ll hopefully see more of that.

There are a bunch of negatives here (a bunch of stuff about the Tesseract that go against canon, the Skrulls (makeup, personalities, nerfed powers and threat level imo, etc.), subpar writing and acting at moments, etc.), but I seriously don’t care at all because I enjoyed the ride. My happiness dwarfs every little thing I could have nitpicked. I don’t care!!! I had so much fun! I liked the movie a lot!

#captain marvel spoilers

[expensivebooks]

A COURT OF FROST AND STARLIGHT REVIEW(SPOILER)

Hey guys!! This is so late but here’s my opinion on the novella of the ACOTAR series. I am currently reading Kingdom of Ash so hopefully I’ll quickly post my kingdom of ash review even though its a bit weird since I haven’t posted any throne of glass reviews but Enjoy it!!!

If I am going to be honest, I enjoyed this book. I know a lot of people was disappointed because it was all Feyre and Rhysand but I liked the domestic vibes A Court of Frost and Starlight gave. There is not really much to talk about for the plot because there was practically no plot (just shopping). But it brought nice and calm domestic perspective for all of the characters, which we don’t get a lot. Overall, it was quite an enjoyable book I guess? I wasn’t expecting much anyways. But let me say NESTA FREAKING ACHERON stole the book. I don’t know why but I felt for her so much especially in the last chapter.

“I painted and painted and painted”

This summed up all of Feyre’s chapters. Feyre’s perspective was nice but whenever it was someone else’s POV I was so much more excited to read it? It was probably because in every Feyre pov, she’s just talking about painting? I know it was a way of her to move on but it was too much. Does SJM really have to show us Feyre debating about whether she should paint EVERY SINGLE TIME? I didn’t really like all the painting parts, I just thought it was unnecessary but tbh this whole book was unnecessary other than telling us that there’s going to be a new series.

“And what, exactly, does this Band of Exiles plan to do? Host events? Organize party-planning committees?”

This scene. THIS FREAKING SCENE. This made me dislike Feyre, honestly throughout this series, Lucien was always a misunderstood character with no one beside him. Especially since the last book, he didn’t have Tamlin anymore, everyone in the night court hated him (he deserved that) and his mate rejects him. But he didn’t deserve anything of what Feyre threw at him in his scene. Honestly, what was Feyre expecting from him, to stay in Velaris and sulk while they all hated him? After everything he went through with losing his whole future, he finally found good people he considers as family and Feyre had the audacity to mock his new family and him? I was shocked and disgusted she could have Tamlin but I never had any ill feelings for him. Because he was siding with his best and only friend and they both had nothing without each other. The worst part is that Feyre knew that, she knows the deep bond they both have and know she’s shoving that fact in his face.

“Do you think she’ll forgive me?”

This scene was the first time I truly understood that after everything Tamlin never wanted things to escalate this far. He loved Feyre in a way that was toxic for him and Feyre, and it was best for him to let Feyre go and start anew. I am not defending his actions because they were terrible but I can at least say that Tamlin has a big heart. And while Feyre may have shredded it, it was his fault for his down bringing. Tamlin’s really just the ex that you feel sorry for really, every time I read about him my heart just moves a bit for him.

“But Azriel only took Elain’s heavy dish of potatoes from her hands, his voice soft as night as he said, ‘Sit. I’ll take care of it.’”

This was one of the weirdest things in the book. Strangely, SJM is kinda like shipping Az with Elain? Like what is that? I do ship them but I think Az deserves his own mate, but they still cute. Actually I really ship them but it’s just weird. Why is SJM confusing my poor shipper heart? I guess she’s trying to make a new couple where they don’t have to be mates? Or maybe I am reading too into it? Is it just me? Idk? Was I the only one expecting more from Elain? I thought by now she would at least stop being moody and actually interact with people normally. Not just coming in to politely say hi then disappearing but hopefully she’ll bloom and open up in the next books.

“You are over five hundred years old, she often reminded herself”

I had to remind myself that too. SJM butchered Mor, like wth what happened to our confident, sarcastic, fun girl? Her whole POV was totally useless because SJM just repeats what she’s been through exactly how she explained it in the last three books. There wasn’t anything I didn’t already know when I was reading her perspective. It was ridiculous and she had two chapters just to show her insecurities towards her father and Elis. At first, I was so excited to finally have a perspective of Mor but honestly I expected more than just a retelling of her story. It was nice when she flashback to her past when her father left her nailed and Eris just left her, but that was it. I am just disappointed that SJM didn’t go into detail of how she overcame that and became who she was. 

“Shattering”

I swear to god if I have to read one more sex scene from SJM where the word shattering appears one more time, help me God. Why is it shattering? Like I get it, they’re having sex, it’s great but wth? I already knew this series was practically fifty shades of gray with all the smut but this took it to a whole other level. At least the other books had some sort of plot but now Feyre and Rhysand can freely unleash their pent up sexual frustration. Half of this book was about them wanting to fuck each other, its well, not romantic in a sense. Honestly, SJM should just avoid sex scenes if she’s going to put words like shattering in it.

“The sex had destroyed me”

Well, that summed up about 80% of Rhysand’s POV because it was ALL ABOUT A HORNY TEENAGER. I get it they’re in love, but I don’t need to know exactly which walls or furniture they fucked on. But I got to admit Rhysand’s POV brought the practically non-existent plot- the Illyrians. I guess their building on to the next series and I am praying that Cassian and Nesta can keep it down and not be all over each other(which is probably not going to happen because their sexual tension is 10 times thicker than Feyre and Rhysand). I am also interested as how Rhysand will be perceived in Nesta’s POV as we only see him from people he loves.

Nesta. What can I say about Nesta. I’ve never felt so much angst from one character before. She’s hurt, dark and might I say jealous too. How she can’t express her feelings to just anyone and hates to feel vulnerable. I am very interested to see how her story will go, with training with the Illyrians to battling her fears and even falling in love with Cassian(she probs is already). For me, SJM did a perfect job of showing how people have different methods to cope with loss and trauma and she captured Nesta’s pain amazingly. I felt so much for Nesta that sometimes I hated everyone for just leaving her there to suffer alone even though they tried to include her. I could understand her because even though she’s Feyre’s sister, she couldn’t be like Elain, she couldn’t suddenly just accept her situation just because the war ended she need time to mourn for her father and herself. Of the life that was stolen away from her and Elain. Feyre did went through the same process from turning human to high fae but she was given her powers as a gift while Elain and Nesta was forced and taken from them and they were thrust to a surroundings with unfamiliar faces and things force on them(mates). So I’ll always feel more towards Elain and Nesta because they’ve both been through so much and they deserve the best. 

Overall, I’ll miss Rhysand and Feyre but this was a good farewell and a start to something new so let’s say our goodbyes to our amazing and strong couple to welcome a new one.

“To the stars who listen, Feyre.

To the dreams that are answered, Rhys.” 

#ACOTAR #feyre archeron #rhysand #cassian #nesta archeron #azriel #elain archeron #morrigan #amren #sjm #finale #2018 #bookish vibes #book review #books #life #acomaf #acowar #acofas

[insidethefemalehead-blog]

the beginning

so here goes my first posts. I had a pretty good childhood growing up. I grew up with siblings so of course we had fun and pretty good fights. I was a good kid, with good grades but as soon as teenage years hit, oh boy did it go down hill. I was sneaking out, partying, and well yea doing things I shouldn't of been doing. I eventually straightened out. so now lets fast forward a bit to my military career. I loved the military and the traveling I did. I saw a lot of good things and the worst ever. but see now this is where things start. I dated this guy and when I went into the service I was supposed to complete basic training and when I got stationed somewhere he was supposed to leave everything and go with me. Well that did not happen because he was at the wrong place at the wrong time and was killed in a fight. I later heard the news and was devastated. I lost someone I loved. so along came the pain and dealing with it. eventually the mourning was over after a long period of time. lets fast forward to my next relationship. He was tall, handsome and sweet. Of course like all love stories we fell in love. We both were in the service and we knew our jobs were dangerous. we both ended up deployed and I took a bullet and made it back home and he did not make it. here I go again another funeral and pain and suffering. By this time im wondering, what is it with me and my relationships. in between ive dated a few men but the spark, the connection was not there and we would break up. the ones that I was head over heels for, the ones I would give my last breath for are the ones that leave. Now its like do I attract the wrong ones?  am I cursed? what is it? once again I keep trying to be normal to seem normal. back to dating. I date a few, ehhh no spark. then the one, the one who melts my heart, the one who gives me these butterflies everytime. time goes by and he is murdered. WTH? I seriously do not know what to think anymore. am I just destined to be alone? I dated a guy after mourning who turned out all wrong for me and I wasn't even in love with him, just comfortable. I guess I thought since I didn't love him then he would be safe. but to be with someone and not love them is not a life. now im single and want that love that I once had, but I do not wish to feel the loss again.

[iamsonyeondone]

heir! seventeen // choi seungcheol

♥ so fluffy!!!

♥ 2 k words

♥ summary: the student body president always had something for you but with you being too oblivious, you simply needed a little bit of help noticing

ok lemme tell you about our leader choi seungcheol

Not only does he have the most beautiful faces I've seen in my entire life, this boy is a dedicated student committee president of Pledis High, an elite school in Seoul

And he's also the second heir to his father's business in Daegu!!

As expected of our president, this boy is the nicest honey baby in the entire school like now wonder he has a whole club of fangirls making sure he's eaten and well-rested

I want to be a part of that protection squad thank you very much

and you on the other hand, despite the average family background, you enrolled into Pledis High by a scholarship!! Look at you!! Making me proud!! You smart baby!!!

And as much as you want to have a balanced high school experience, you. just.couldnt.keep.up and instead used all your time studying at the back of the school

hmm?? people say there's a ghost roaming there?? wELL you don't give two shits because no korean ghost will stop you from getting into a college

ever since that rumour was spread around, your favourite study place is always empty and calm and you don't have to face people and put your anxious cute butt to suffer!!

But one day, you hear shuffling of feet behind the pillar that was blocking you and you just?? froze?? WAS IT THE GHOST?? why would it show up after three months?? and nearing your exams wth piss off >:[

"hYung what the heck everything is scattered!!!"

"it wasn't my fault you switched the fan on, soonyoung,"

"yeA bUt you should've warned me first :(("

"can you two just shut up and pick it up?? the SC room ( aka Student Committee) is in worser condition,"

Who?? Are?? They??

Curiosity got the best of you as you peeked from behind the pillar, spotting two boys picking up papers of the ground and you couldn't help but think that the black-haired one looked so familiar?? or maybe you're myopic who knows

As the wind blew, the scattered papers flew along, one of them sweeping under your feet

Until you see a hand reaching out towards it- wait WHAT "whOAH WHo- what are you doing here??" Seungcheol screamed as he tumbled backwards and fell onto his butt, fear evident on his face

Lo and behold black-haired boy was none other than Pledis's student committee president

"w-what why can't i be here?? You don't own this school," what were you even saying?? All you knew was that your fingers were trembling and your feet were rooted to the ground from the sudden ouTbUrst

"oh hi (y/n)," Soonyoung waved towards you with a wide smile crinkling his eyes

"you know her??"

"oh yeah she's my classmate, pretty quiet but the smartest out of all of us," just as Soonyoung was giving a summarized introduction of yourself to him, you glanced back and forth from your classmate and the student committee president with so much confusion

And as much as Seungcheol flew away from your appearance, he was actually just shocked to see you! Because everyone knows you hunny, who else always tops her classes as you internally deteriorate from the lack of sleep omg

Not only because you're one of the smartest but he's always found you interesting?? And pretty cute ;)))

You grabbed the paper beneath your feet and before you know it, you're helping them gather all the materials and,, walking,, up the stairs,,, with them

When was the last time that you were actually on the same pace as someone else??

"how did you even get that maths question on last weeks test?? I almost squished my head trying to figure it out," Soonyoung was flailing his arms, a stack of paper in each hand as you looked over him cautiously, afraid that all of you had to painstakingly sweep all of them up again

"oH uhm it's pretty easy once you memorised all the formulas, its just applying it in the right sequence," and slowly, it was actually pretty easy to talk to your classmate!! Like he's always bursting with energy but he makes sure he isn't crossing the line

And about Seungcheol?? Well, he's too busy trying to grasp the fact that you,,, are beside him,, and your side profile is so mesmerising to watch– until Soonyoung tosses a question his way and he's just???

And both pair of eyes are staring at him but he's more focused on YOUR eyes staring at him and he kinda shortcircuits, stuttering an excuse when he barely gets to his second word

whiPPeD™

and Soonyoung catches oN and kinda just smirks at him, wiggling his eyeborws and all that pizzazz ',:)

"(y/n) why dont you join as at the SC room?? We have some snacks there and since you helped us out, it's the least we could do!!" Soonyoung exclaims, bouncing on the balls of his feet as his eyes gleamed

"sure why not? but I can't stay for long though, I have extra classes in about an hour,"

"yAY CMON LETS GO"

For the next few minutes or so, the boys bickered among one another about the previous incident and you were introduced to Jihoon, the vice president of the student committee

He's pretty cold at first but after a few jokes, Soonyoung making a fool of himself and being a total savage!! he actually becomes a pretty chill person to hang out with

And amongst all the joking around, Seungcheol finAlly opens up and joins the conversation

Like the two of you would've been best buds if he wasn't so enchanted by you and you being so anxious to meet new people

but look at you two now!! laughing and fooling around awww

But fun always comes to an end as your alarm goes off for you to go to your extra classes :(( you wave goodbye and thank them for the snacks, jogging back to your study place to pack of your things and GO

But your routine slowly changes and you always find yourself at the SC room?? Back of the school who??

It's either you're accompanying Jihoon by studying beside him or having your lunch with Soonyoung and talking about the latest class gossip oR helping Seungcheol out by organizing their documents and talking about anything and everything while doing so

A week later and you open the door to the SC room to only see Seungcheol and he looks panicky and distressed by looking at the laptop in front of him and you wonder where the other two went because their stations are clean and their seats were pushed in

"What's with the long face?" you attempt to joke, but your voice didn't hide the worried tone beneath it

As much as you would want to deny it, your feelings developed for him, seeing more than just the president or a friend

And imagining what it would be like to have your fingers intertwined with his or the feeling of his lips on your forehead and enjoying a cuddle session with him

But that's not your priority right now, you took the seat beside him, head tilting slightly to see his features – his eyes squinting, eyebrows furrowed and his lips curling into a frown

"It's just... you know the upcoming charity festival? The one that Pledis always organize at the end of the year? This time they wanted something different and more appealing to teenagers but Pledis have been doing this for more than a decade and it's difficult to choose an idea something that hasn't been used," he rambled on, letting his palms cover the stress etching his features as he groaned and sigh into them

"first things first, calm down, its not the end of the world. Here, drink some water and let your brain rest a little. I'm sure we'll think of something,"

"we?"

"yeah dumbass, it's impossible if you do all of these yourself," you chuckled, taking control over the laptop as you reviewed the past year's themes and the popularity of each year

After much research on the current trends, you managed to write down a few for Seungcheol to shortlist but just as you were about to call out to him, you were greeted by his sleeping figure, his head rested on his arms as you chuckled to yourself

With no one around, your hands itched to brush away his bangs from his eyes

"why do you have to be so hot? Pfft, if i told you that right now, you would probably be a mess and deny it, just like every compliment I've given you," you chuckled, laying your head on the table to get a better view

"as much as your humbleness is attractive, it gets annoying how you don't accept the praise you deserve. Like wth Seungcheol, you're more than just amazing that I'm not worthy of liking you," you mumble, you fingers moving on its own as you brushed his bangs away from his face

"is that all you wanted to say?" he muttered, taking you aback as you jumped slightly in your seat, hand retracting and all in all being a blushing m e s s

"you were awake this whole time?

"i was just resting my eyes, dummy. But now that you mentioned something.." he trailed off, stretching in his seat and looking towards you a small smirk adorning his face while his tinted red ears were a contrast to his sudden confidence

"so you like me?"

"y-yOu didn't hear anything, I was just... Uhmmmm taLKING to the screen,"

"then why were you brushing through my hair?" he chuckled with that smug smirk you desperately want to wipe off

"i dont know Seungcheol!! Maybe dont look so cute when you rest your damn eyes!!" you exclaimed in panic, eyes wide as you huffed, looking away and towards the laptop in front of you

but then you feel a hand guiding your chin to look towards him, your cheeks practically felt like they were on f i r e

"I've waited so long to say this, don't try to brush of your confession now. I like you too (y/n) oh god i probably liked you before we even became friends. You were always so hardworking, doing whatever it took to get what you wanted. Don't even get me started on how gorgeous you are. Can't you tell? I'm whipped for you, (y/n)," he nervously chuckled, biting his bottom lip in anticipation as he waited for your reply

But words seemed to fail you as you watched on, your mouth gaping

Seungcheol leaned in, brushing your lips with his being an absolute tease

And you couldn't handle it any longer, pulling him by the collar as the both of you properly kissed, surprising him as you took his breath away, his heart racing a mile a minute

And all you could hear was the pounding of your heartbeat against your ears

once you pulled away, you leaned against his chest, weak from feeling his lips against yours as he let out a throaty chuckle

"impatient much, princess?" and the sound of the nickname sends shivers down your spine as you buried your face deeper into his uniform and the heat from your face could possibly start a fire

"You're too cute, what am i going to do with you?" even without having to see his face, you could tell that he had his widest gummy grin plastered on his face and the thought of it brought a smile onto yours

Before you could detach yourself from him, you heard a small thud from behind the door, and the feeling in your gut tells you that something, or somebody, had been there longer than you expected

"soOnyouNg keep it down!! You're gonna give us awAy–"

"bUt HyUng–"

"we should've known we got set up," you groaned, diving into your palms to hide the embarrasment rising to the surface

"well, we wouldn't be here without them, princess," Seungcheol teased, pecking your cheek as you nudged him away yet your bashful smile remained

You wouldn't have it any other way; being in the SC room with your three favourite people.

Of course your dear Seungcheol being the first ;))

A/N: who should i write for the heir! seventeen series next?? :D i also hoped this was fluffy enough because I rewrote this 3 times (i lost it each time :I) but i hope all of you had/is having a nice day ♥

#kpop #imagine #scenario #writing #bulletpoint #fanfic #fanfiction #svt #seventeen #choi seungcheol #seungcheol #s. coups #scenarios #imagines #writings #pledis #17

[cindyfelicia]

Hi, I hope you’re doing well!! I was just wondering if you read comics? If so could you recommend some/ how to start getting into them? I want to start reading them, but it’s so stressful trying to figure out where to start. Also I love you blog!

Hi there! you’re all manners of sweet and kind thank u my advice abt approaching comics is going for solo runs first, this is how I, personally, did it and it’s way easier than jumping in on team books, or worse events bc they tend to be messier and need more bg info and pre-existing knowledge than a comic that focus on just the one character; I also feel it’s good to start with current or at least recent comics, you can always read the old stuff when you’re better acquainted with how comics work and which characters, artists and writers you like (or can tolerate).

actual recs under the cut because this got so long

i was gonna do a whole list of mcu characters’ solos because most people entry point to comics rn is superhero movies, and hmu if you want that, but instead I think I’m gonna rec you some good comics that are either separated enough from main marvel continuity as to be intelligible without extensive info gathering, or I just think they’re great and worth a bit of confusion (part of starting out reading comics is not knowing fully wth is going on sometimes, but stiking with it for some good art or for characters you love -I’m not gonna go so far as to say for good writing bc that’s just not realistic):

if you like yourself some spider-people:- silk (2015) and vol 2 (2016) are my absolute favorites- I’m not very much into spiderman but I read renew your vows  and it’s lovely,  it’s just not a main universe comic it’s an au where things are as, imo, they should be with ye old web slinger, and it’s good for getting your feet wet in the huge pool of spider-man comics;- I love miss jessica drew (spider-woman) but her solo is……. questionable if someone has a good jess drew intro rec pls tell me so I can pass it on, - miles morales has been written badly in more ways than one but I love him so I suffer, I can direct you without scruples only to his novel tho, absolutely lovely and not written by brian michaelbendis lmao- anya corazon is a really good character that marvel loves to forget it has, let’s not make the same mistake;- black widow 2014 and 2016 and bw: the name of the rose are all good comics (I know technically nat isn’t a spider person but like nothing about spider-woman’s powers screams ‘spider’ either so..

for wakanda I’d say good recent start-ups would be: - black panther (2016), - black panther: world of wakanda (w/ a lesbian couple as protag), - and rise of the black panther (ongoing)

some non x-men team books that are easier to approach as a beginner imho:-young avengers vol 2 (vol 1 has its moments if you want to start from the beginning with them but a lot of it involves the civil war arc and stuff.. also some characters die, the art is less good and I want to protect people from 17’s yo cassie lang’s nipples poking through her shirt.. I wish someone had protected me tbh) -I want to rec some Runaways but besides the current run (which is alright) there’s a lot to be said against the writing in most of the rest of them maybe vol 1? to have the origins pinned down-I feel like after a small read through of what exactly the hell was going on with secret wars you could approach A-Force vol 1 and the first half of vol 2 (the second half ties in with civil war II and I’m not touching that mess) and that and avenger world and sometimes secret avengers to me are good avengers books-she hulk 2014 and totally awesome hulk are my greens of choice but if you want an intro to bruce banner idont actually know, sorry-for the asgardians: thor 2014 and it’s follow up mighty thor, thor: god of thunder, angela: asgard’s assassin and its sequel angela: queen of hel, and loki: agent of asgard are my pick of this crop-we also have Fun here at marvel comics on occasion and both patsy walker aka hellcat and squirrel girl are nice in their own way although the latter isn’t really my thing

some follow up on the young avengers:- hawkeye (2013) an absolute fan favorite, good to discover that actually clint barton was a good character it’s that the avengers movies are just bad and hate people with disabilities- a couple of follow-ups to that (x) (x) and the kate bishop solo all pretty nice- america chavez’s solo (I’m just here to suggest gay comics, that’s almost all I read really)

I want to rec Champions to people but frankly it’s just a long series of event interruptions and bullshit interspersed with a couple of nice moments so far, so I’m gonna rec you some kids that are in the champions and have solos I haven’t already mentioned:- kamala khan’s book is probably my favorite ongoing series at marvel right now about any non-mutant char, I cannot say enough good about it,- nova is nice,- miles morales (spider-man) and amadeuscho (totally awesome hulk) are also there but I’ve already mentioned themalso in this house we love and respect elektranatchiosand any other attitude just isn’t tolerated.

on to the x-men, gotta love those guys, you just gotta:- like I said I prefer to tell people to start from recent comics but with the xmen that’s so difficult? it’s been 10+ bad years for them because of the movie rights situation and just marvel being shit in general, so my one recent team book to approach the x-men is prob x-men ‘92? because its based off of the xm animated series so you don’t have to straightaway deal with some mutant plague, eugenics plots, and other catastrophic events, but you can still get to know more of the char we all love - I want to say generation x vol 2, it’s not a good starting point for anything really but I love it so so much I had to mention it even tho it was cancelled and I’m still angry as hell about it.

the solo situation is better. I’m gonna be able to breathe without tasting my own bile while I type this, hurray!-all new wolverine follows laura kinney as she takes up the mantle from logan-iceman, good solid comic abt coming out and ice puns, who doesn’t like bobby really-jean grey, yes she’s a teen girl in this, yes it’s weird and I hate de-aging characters but it’s nice to see her train with different mutants, struggling with the incoming phoenix force and her adult self’s shadow, not really great entry point to jean grey but id read it anyway-if you were into the 00’s xmen movies like me, or at least a normal person’s amount the phoenix recently returned and with her adult!jean grey, it was a good book for me and good if you want to later start reading the actual phoenix saga (which is a lot of material so starting small with this might help) -I love wandamaximoff and despite what they’ve done to the maximoffs in order to bring them into the mcu (was it worth it for that result btw? really?) her recent book was good and I genuinely loved it -storm’s solo is so good, you’re gonna fall in love with an het ship and you’re not gonna regret it either-rogue and gambit, is ongoing and it’s good to get a little acquainted with these characters but mostly it’s about explorign their relationship

I’m sure I’m forgetting a lot of good x-men content atm but I can’t stop thinking I need to mention that there are ongoing series you could pick up its just.. I hate them.. some started out promising (xmen gold, astonishing xmen), but they’ve not developed in good directions imo, but I still feel they should be mentioned, there’s also a weapon x comic if you want to go for a more bloody kind of book and xmen blue if you like time displaced teens or something? god its bad

jeez this is so so long and guess what? I haven’t even finished yet.. there’s some excellent indie comics out there and with those you really don’t need to worry abt knowing any 30 years old lore or anything you pick them up and they explain themselves like any other normal media out there, I know, be still my heart:

- lumberjanes is my absolute favorite, a little corny, but so much fun and cuteness and if I could go back in time I’d give it to my little bi self so she’d know she’s not alone and anything I feel that ways about has a special place i my heart js

- Motor crush, there really isn’t any other comic book with a black lesbian as protagonist out there that I can think of, good if you’re into motorcycles but if like in my case that threatens to put you to sleep, it also has a sci-fi streak and solid character work, you won’t regret giving it a try

- moonstruck, cute non-white gay werewolves and other mythological creatures are there, I feel this cathers to me specifically every time I open it?? bless

- Hi-Fi fight club or heavy vinyl (they changed the title) if you want a period piece that’s fun and cute and gay (I meant it about me reading only gay comics as you can tell)

- saga, for a space, well ya know.. saga I feel that I can describe it as romeo and juliet in space with added racial commentary except they don’t kill themselves, I have to say not my favorite but you might stick with it for the characters, I sure do

- the wicked + the divine, I feel very much the same about this as I do about saga, only this is mythology based so like.. I sold my soul to it, but please do tread with care there’s a lot of deaths in it and so many of these dead people are gays and/or poc.. I’m none too pleased about it and I’d understand anyone not wanting to pick it up, I mean the deaths are basically in the premises of the books but that doesn’t change the end result..

lastly like I said dc is not my area of expertise but I’ve been following with pleasure both batwoman and green lanterns, and mr miracle was an amazing comic so I thought I’d mention them

#this is so long I'm sorry #I do hope it's somewhat helpful #Anonymous

[ohyouarenana]

Bias tag!

I was tagged by @lilmochibaby, thank you bby!

I have already told u this but omfg the hardest tag I got. How can I choose only ten bisases?? and how can I put them in order??

Biases ( in no particular order BC HOW CAN I??)

1. Jaemin (NCT)

2.Wonho (Monsta X)

3. Lucas (NCT)

4.Jimin (BTS)

5.Taeyong (NCT)

6.Seongwoo (WANNA ONE)

7.Jackson (Got7)

8.Vernon (Seventeen)

 9.Zico (Block B)

10.Woozi (Seventeen)

Questions

1. Between 1 & 4 who would you rather kiss? 

OKAY BUT WHAT?? HOW CAN I DO THIS TO MY BABIES??? Like Jaemin got my heart newly bc omfg he is BACK and jimin have always been my ult bias and my husband oMG. IM THINKING V HARD RN! I mean there wouldn’t be a difference since both of them r so sweet and gentle so for now it’s Na Jaemin. BC MY BBY IS BACK. omfg sorry jimin, sorry mu husband T-T

2. Between 2 & 7 who would be your best friend? 

JACKSON! like he is so funny and we have so much in common so I think it would be rlly fun to have him as a bestie

3. Between 5 & 10 who has a better voice?

In my opionion it’s taeyong, ik he is a rapper but his voice is rlly beautiful and the raspiness when he raps oMFG ( ofc woozi have the best vocal and omfg I can relax so much to his singing)

4. Between 1 & 8 who is the funniest? 

Vernon lmao did u see that living meme lmao he always cracks me up with his actions 

5. Between 6 & 9 who would you date? 

ummmmmmm ONG SEONGWOO, he took my heart the moment I started watching pd101 and omfg I am only falling in love with him deeper and deeper everyday. HEARTEYES MF

6. Between 9 & 10 who would you do a collab with? 

So both are perfect producers and they produce perfect songs to their own groups, but if i would do a collab wth them then it’s Zico bc we have the same colors in music and such, like we would get well along in a hiphop song 

7. Between 4 & 8 who is the best dancer? 

well well well this isnt so hard is’nt it? its ofc jimin like he majored in dancing and have been doing it since he was so young and he is part of the dancing line, plus omfg do u see his freestyle dancing just kill me

8. Between 3 & 5 who would you most likely marry? 

MY BIAS AND MY BIAS WRECKER WHAT HOWWWWW CAN I CHOOSE???? ( a little message to my friend who put the random list of my biases, did u plan this?? did u do it to kill me?? first wth the first question and u made me cheat on my husband and second now ?? like u like seeing me being a hoe and cheat on my biases don’t u T_T) OKAy let’s get real here so the question was MOST LIKELY not who I would want to get married to so I tbh think it would be my bias wrecker aka Lucas, bc I see us having things in common and would get along better than how I would be wth TY Track TY Track lmao sorry

9. Between 1 & 7 who would you nurse when they are sick? 

I think everyone woud understand me in this situation lmao. I would nurse NaNa he looks like someone who gets sick easliy even without wanting too, this poor bby. But ofc all of them r my sweet bbys so I would nurse all my biases and none biases bc they r angels.

10. Between 2 & 3 who has a better smile? 

omFG ALL OF THEM DO! like both of them have a smile that shines the whole world and makes everything so good so lmao I’m not choosing any here, ikik I’m breaking the rules but omgIi can’t, both have such nice smiles that makes me so happy

11. Between 6 & 8 who would you go on holiday with? 

Seongwoo I love him so much tbh that i would like to spend my whole life just being with him and watch him. Plus he is a good driver and is so funny and cute and charming oMG I will shut up now lmao

FINALLY DONE! lmao so this post was basically me just talking about how these ten r the ones keeping me alive beside alot much more idols which are such angels

I’m going to tag these beautiful ppl so now have fun suffering lmao XD

@hobiminkooksprincess1990 @justanotherrandombloghere @studykpoptrash

@park-mochimin @katelikeseverthangaethetic @spicyyyytunaaaroll and who ever wants to do it!

#nct #tag #bts #seventeen #block b #wanna one #got7 #monstax #monsta x #wonho #zico #woozi #jimin #jaemin #vernon #taeyong #lucas #yukhei #jackson #seongwoo #ong #ong seongwoo