#its not about getting skinny its just about seeing the number go down and hurting myself and i know it doesnt actually feel good but like | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eggluttony · 1 year

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What about an Eggman who’s got lost on a remote planet for a while and let himself get much much to skinny say down to like 130 or less and wants to get fattened back up right away as soon as he’s rescued?

I can definitely see him immediately wanting fatten himself back up because I think not being fat at all would feel really wrong to him. He admires his shape, size, and soft squishy body, he'd be grumpy and unhappy to lose it and he liked being able to eat a lot with it. It doesn't feel right to be so light and small and for his clothes to be so big and loose that he has to wear older smaller clothes that got too small but are now too big again. He actually misses the feeling of lots of fat pleasantly wobbling and jiggling every time he moves.

He finally brings out his scales again and when he weighs himself, it's weird to be able to see the results without a huge belly in the way and he's immensely shocked by how low the number is when he finds he's actually underweight and can't believe his eyes. He never thought he'd miss the embarrassment of stepping on the scales as a heavy man but it's actually upsetting to see how much it's dropped, all those heavy pounds of soft fat all over his body, gone. He can really feel how much it's missing when how much he's lost sets in.

But everyone else is pleased by these changes and praise his much smaller slimmer body, saying it looks great and would be a good start to getting healthy, if he starts eating right and getting in shape from here. But he doesn't care about that or like it one bit, it just feels wrong and he's unhappy that anyone would see it as a good thing at all. There's no way he's going to stay this way, no matter how much they approve and like him better this way. He wants to be loved and get attention for who he really is and that's not a skinny man!

He seriously heavily overestimates himself and finds himself unable to finish his very first proper meal when he gets back home and tries eating lots of the things he'd been craving and missing all the time he was lost and trapped. He's very upset by it and misses when he was able to eat all of it and more when he finds himself struggling a lot and he can't eat enough to eat anywhere near all the things he'd been dreaming of with his much smaller stomach and capacity and it aches far too much to feel very good at all.

His first few meals since are nowhere near as enjoyable as he imagined all that time, as he easily keeps accidentally overeating to the point of feeling sick or having painful tummy aches. He's disappointed and and can hardly even comfort eat to feel better like he usually would when he's upset like this. But because it's going to keep happening anyway, he decides to intentionally overeat as much as he can. As much as it can hurt, he makes sure his small stomach feels firm and packed full at the end of every meal.

It only becomes an even bigger challenge for him when he slowly has the portions of his meals increased over time and forces himself to stomach it, no matter how his gut reacts. He feels like he's making progress by keeping his stomach stuffed to its small limit, even when it's not anywhere near as much as he could before but he's desperate to push himself and improve it. He'd try to have the size of his portions and number of his meals increased over time to try to get his stomach used to holding more food again and expand it.

He'd benefit from having a feeder and encourager to help him so when he feels like he can't take it, they can push him to keep eating and tell him that he can feel like himself again if he just eats up, no matter how full he is. They can help make sure that he's specifically eating lots of calorie dense fattening meals and snacks and enforce that he must eat as often and as much as possible on top. Having his near nonexistent belly rubbed while eating past his limit and being told it will all be worth it keeps him going. No pain no gain!

Eventually he'd get a new small layer of pudge on him even though he still doesn't have an actual belly with it and he's still unhappy with how he looks. He then tries to start pushing for extra helpings with every meal and entire extra platefuls or dishes and he ends up so stuffed that his smaller stomach bloats noticeably enough while full and it's a good start. He tries to start eating snacks more often but that leads to many more stomach aches as he tries to push himself desperately at every opportunity but he tries his best.

He tries to spend most days doing nothing but lounge around, sleep, and eat so he can only make more progress as much as he can. He needs to keep his mouth and belly full constantly to do so. His pudge gradually grows into a small slightly chubby belly with time, just a little bump of chub but it's good progress and he needs to keep overfeeding it to help it get bigger. He's constantly stuffed and sleepy because eating and digesting so much and being engorged with heavy calories is very hard work but he hopes it will be worth it.

He needs to keep increasing his meal sizes and amounts of snacks so to keep expanding it. He starts getting used to tummy aches and keeps eating anyway as it's just a sign he's getting somewhere and should keep going. He groans as his small squishy tummy pudge is rubbed and more food is shoved past his lips and he keeps eating and forcing it down and keeping it down. He has to eat until his stomach is so firm and full behind the pudge, it can hardly be squished and it's so sensitive to touch, it makes him whine and burp.

He needs rubs and comfort for all the times he gets impatient and pushes himself way too far too fast, which happens far too often in the early weeks. The pressure of being so stuffed when he hardly has a belly and the stomach aches that follow are much more intense than what he was used to for how much smaller it is and how little it can hold in comparison but it's at least a start to getting back to how it was before. He needs to keep forcing those calories into his gut to make a difference, no matter how much it can hurt.

With all the food he keeps forcing into his smaller stomach and all the calories, that pudge grows and feels softer as weeks go by. He keeps trying to eat meal after meal and lots of snacks in between, then still tries chugging fattening sugary drinks when too full to eat, or swallowing pints of ice cream down on top of his stuffed belly so it feels so swollen and bloated and stretched because it's bound to help improve capacity. He doesn't even notice that it's getting easier each time because he soon pushes his new higher limits too.

So he does it over and over, forcing himself to get used to it again with a routine everyday. There's a no leftovers rule that he gives himself so he has to finish every big meal and pile of snacks he gives himself on top of that and he feels so accomplished when he leaves it all spotlessly empty. If he doesn't have the feeling that he's about to burst then he hasn't eaten enough and as soon it starts to leave him, he needs to eat more to top it back up and get even more calories into his engorged stomach to help it stick and grow.

When a small chubby belly starts sitting in his lap, it means more eating must be done to celebrate, where he'll try to push this new capacity limit even further. It also helps if he has a feeder to tell him that he's doing so well, then make sure he celebrates by eating until he can't move with another big feast and then just feed him even more for dessert. His little pudgy tummy is so full and expanded and rounded out as much as it can and it hurts and he moans and whines but he pushes to finish it all and his struggling is cute.

When he's groaning and burping because of how full he is and how it hurts, his feeder cuddles him for comfort and rubs his belly and says that it might be hard work but he needs to keep eating like this if he wants to get bigger and pushes even more food past his lips that he eats up like a good boy. The reminders and encouragement really keep him going, along with how he still isn't happy with how small his belly still looks compared to how it used to be. He needs to keep eating and growing, he needs to grow into himself again.

Watching his weight slowly climb up on the scale and getting closer to 200 by the weeks is exciting but he's impatient and unhappy that he's still so light. It at least motivates him to keep going, as right after he weighs in he usually goes right to his pantry or fridge to pick out lots of snacks and orders his next meal to be prepared while he digs in. Then he sits back and eats as much as he can while he imagines the scale number going up and up, letting it motivate and push him through every bite no matter how full and tight his stomach gets.

Every day he's just sat back eating, he tells himself he can't stop, he tells himself he always needs more, he tells himself he can handle another snack, another plateful, another meal no matter how swollen and packed full and bloated he is. When he's not passed out in a food coma, he's constantly eating while he's awake. His poor little chubby belly is constantly stuffed and bloated, it gets used to expanding more and more pudgy fat is added but when he looks at himself he feels he needs more and more, it's nowhere near enough!

Thanks to all the thousands of calories that he's been indulging himself with excessively nonstop, he's getting bigger and greedier as he should be. After all the forcing, his old greedy habits are starting to come back naturally too and he's also getting used to mindlessly stuffing his face again whenever dishes of food or piles of snacks are placed before him. His belly is still too small for him but it starts to push out more and more and he doesn't even realize that it's getting bigger most of the time just because it's still not enough for him.

It eventually gets big enough to finally spill onto his lap while empty and is marshmallow soft. He finally realizes he's getting a little bit fat instead of just pudgy or a bit chubby and he's happy about his progress. He also actually starts to realize that he loves watching it get bigger and softer slowly. He's never known what it feels like to get fat as an adult as he was already a chubby kid and very fat by the time he was a young adult, so this is new and quite exciting to see his flat stomach get pudgier, then bigger, rounder, and fatter.

Now that there's a small but growing belly for him to hold, he starts being a bit kinder to his poor tummy that he kept hurting by overeating far past what he could handle. He rubs and caresses it while feeding it slowly and gently, taking his time and enjoying the feeling of it slowly filling up until it's full, then carefully easing in some extras until stuffed, which starts feeling pleasant again and he missed it dearly. He pats it and tells it that he's going to help it get big and fat again and it's going to feel much better in time.

And being reminded of all that heavy plump fat that his belly used to hold while he caresses and plays with it motivates him to keep making it bigger and feel that again. He's starting to feel happier with it but it's still not enough, he has tons of pounds to gain back and he can't stop. But he tries to take it easier, to not to rush as much but still make sure he eats as much as he can. Not being quite as forceful actually makes it easier to accomplish as he feels really nice and heavy and stuffed at the end of each day and it's arousing.

His middle-age-spread comes back as he starts to get wider as well as bigger, a feature of fat distribution with age he came to miss. He starts to be able to pinch at developing love handles and it pleases him greatly. He feels the sides and bottom of his belly are starting to round out like an egg while empty and a sense of pride and pleasure comes over him at the big stretchmarks. His tits are getting fatter as he notices they feel fuller and his ass is freshly plusher. Even his cheeks feel chubbier and he notices pudge under his chin!

He feels so proud and excited when his older clothes get smaller on him over time, get tighter, and eventually tear. It makes him realize he missed the embarrassing feeling of outgrowing his clothes, only there's no shame as he still needs to be bigger. His most recent clothes before weight loss are still way too big and loose on him and he needs to grow into them next! The same goes for his furniture, he's happy when his chairs and bed start to creak a bit more. He's deeply determined and soon forces another meal into his full belly.

Watching the scales go up more and more whenever he remembers to weigh in starts to become more exciting and feels more like a reward for all the gorging he's been doing daily. But he's still got a long way to go so he needs to keep increasing the calories and fattening food portions! So his indulgences get heavier the more he improves, he starts getting really greedy and keeps wanting even more, so much fattening delicious greasy and salty and sugary food and thousands of calories are packed into his gut.

He eats sooo much of his favorite huge sandwiches loaded with meat, fried chicken, fries, eggs, pizza, and heavy rich dense desserts. He keeps stuffing himself with all the most fattening foods and washes it down with fattening liquids and drinks and feels his stomach expand. He realizes it's fun, being able to eat anything and as much of it as he can at any time because he doesn't have to worry about getting too fat because he actually still isn't fat enough. He's truly free to eat to his heart's content and he sure does.

As soon as he can start fitting more he doesn't stop, constantly shoving more snacks and treats into his mouth after big meals. He starts eating one extra meal a day as he's always loved more than three and makes sure he's completely stuffed by the very big last one of the day and finishes it all, no matter how full he was after all he packed into it throughout! He gets it up to five meals a day with snacks in between and the pleasure he feels with a big overstuffed belly is addictive and he keeps wanting more.

He can't stop eating, he loves how he's improved his limit, he's so proud and missed it so much. He loves greedily stuffing himself then laying back and patting and rubbing his big fat full tummy and belching while thinking about what he's going to eat next and it feels so good. He loves how he's free to be a mindlessly gorging fatass with no worries as he needs all the weight gain. But he's not even keeping track of it anymore or his intake as long as it's greasy and salty or sugary and sweet and calorie dense and there's lots of it.

He has no idea if he's come close to his usual weight as he gets seriously carried away, he just loves how he now knows what it feels like to get fat as an adult and really gets to appreciate the pleasure of the process and the developments, it's addictive. He just greedily stuffs his face, thinks about getting fatter and loves how huge and stuffed he feels. He loves overindulging with tons of delicious food and it feels so right to have a fat stuffed belly and big warm soft squishy body. He's cozy, fat, and happy and feels like himself again.

After far too much pampering, overindulging, and lazing around, he's finally a big fat bear again and he feels so happy and sexy, it was so worth the struggle to get there and now he's addicted to the gaining routine and can't stop. He still keeps overfilling his gut with excessive calories, stuffing himself with around five meals day and forcing down even more in between. His mind still keeps telling him that he needs more and isn't big enough yet, so he keeps gorging desperately and makes sure he's stuffed full constantly.

He loves the blissful haze of always being full and sleepy as he eats and relaxes, he loves the feeling of his jacket getting tighter until the zipper breaks and buttons pop in the middle of eating and his fat engorged belly bursting out his bodysuit that's stretched until it rips open. He loves how he can no longer see the numbers on the scales he'd been using at his small weight as he now has a big round belly in the way. He loves how heavy and soft and jiggly he is again, he missed it a lot. The pleasure he feels is so immense.

He stops bothering to weigh himself and read the scales so he has no idea how exactly heavy he is but it feels so good and his mind keeps telling him he needs to keep eating and gaining. He starts to seem oblivious towards just how huge he's actually getting as he gets seriously carried away and doesn't slow down the gaining process. He surpasses his goal and goes way over the weight goal of what he was trying to gain back but instead of realizing, he's too caught up in enjoying his appalling unhealthy fatty diet and meal plan.

He has brief small moments of surprise as he finds himself struggling to fit into clothes he swore he still had quite a lot of room to grow into, finds himself struggling to fit into some spaces, and he's especially shocked when he manages to break a chair or his hover chair lowers enough to touch the ground during a stuffing session as he thought the weight limit was much higher and he thinks he still has a lot of gaining to do. So he doesn't dwell on it, in fact he thinks of those as good signs too and uses it to motivate him to keep going.

His robots can't intervene because he was sensitive about being skinny and put so much time and effort into getting fat again, they're sure he'd be very upset with them for insinuating he might be gaining too much now. So they have to regretfully enable while they begin to get concerned with how he keeps acting like a lazy greedy gorging slob and gets bigger and bigger and he's so happy and proud of his big fat belly bursting out of his clothes. He lays back all day stuffing himself while his mind just keep saying "more more more"

Fast forward to when Eggman feels like he's finally "just about" fat enough to resume his life and get back out there in his schemes again. He's feeling so good, like a big spoiled pampered fatty that always gets what he wants and eats as much as he wants and he thinks he looks and feels so sexy. His confidence, happiness, and self love has significantly increased again. He plans to go out for a surprise ambush on a location for the first step in his next big plan at last. He wants to make quite the big comeback!

He certainly does make a big comeback- but not the kind of "big" he was anticipating. Everyone is much more shocked and appalled to see he's a very fat man again. Not only did he gain all the weight back but even more- his belly is beyond egg shaped, it spreads with thick love handles and heavy overhang. His plump tits are too big to be hidden by his outfit. His ass is so fat, it fills so much more space in the Egg Mobile. His clothes look so tight and strained. Even his face is fatter with chubby cheeks and double chin more visible.

He also seems to get out of breath easily while making commands for his robots and the controlling of his Egg Mobile, even just talking seems to get him winded. It's because he's not used to being this big and heavy, combined with eating too big of a meal too soon before he left his base as sometimes he accidentally eats too much when he's nervously anticipating putting his next plan in action. His too full belly and all the talking is making him belch loudly and he seems to have forgotten his manners while he was away too.

He's looking huge! Seeing him go from actually slightly underweight to not just overweight but severely obese in just a few months is unbelievable. It reveals that the reason he had ever gotten as fat as he was in the first place was that he can't seem to control himself and his weight, he's a real fatass with serious bad habits that must really love greedily stuffing his face and being lazy as he inevitably throws it all away, lets himself go, and gets super fat despite the chance to make a change after he'd lost all that weight.

They may point out how much fatter he's gotten with great astonishment, shock, concern, or with humor and teasing. Eggman was oblivious towards just how much fatter he'd gotten until then, so he feels even more embarrassed and humiliated for it all to hit him like this and blushes hard. He tries to deny it and tell himself that they're just exaggerating because they liked how he looked when skinny but he's not very good at hiding how flustered he is. Especially with how he ends up rushing home to get away from it.

When he gets back, he stands in the mirror and really takes a look at himself and asks "did I really gain that much more weight than I was supposed to?" because they really seemed to be acting like he did but he wishes he could pretend they were just angry because he didn't stay skinny like they wanted him to. As he looks at his reflection and feels up his body to try to understand, he slowly realizes his fat belly does feel reallyyy big and heavy, maybe just a little bit more than he remembered it feeling before he lost all that weight...

He also isn't sure if his tits looked this big before as he feels them up. Or his big round butt, or his chubby face. The truth starts to set in that yeah, he's maybe gotten a bit too fat. But the whole time he's been back home, he's been eating from a big plate stacked with his favorite Egg Muffins for comfort while standing in front of the mirror, and he moans as he rubs and pats his very stuffed belly and still finds himself unable to stop eating. He finally takes a bite that makes the buttons of his jacket pop off and his belly bursts out.

He blushes at the sight of his big stuffed bare belly bulging out and fat cheeks full of more food that he swallows with a nervous gulp as he feels up the soft fat, squeezing the thick rolls and seeing the deep stretchmarks along his waistline. Feeling so big, soft, and heavy when he jiggles it excites and flusters him, he's so conflicted. His robots pretend they were oblivious until now too and just recommend he weighs himself. He then understands why everyone was so shocked and appalled as he's far surpassed his goal!

He starts to feel guilty but still only seeks even more food for further comfort after learning as he waddles to the kitchen to get a dish of a chocolate cake to eat to feel better. He keeps thinking about how he's getting way too fat and everyone's reactions out there but still can't stop shoving slice after slice into his mouth until it's all gone. He sits back moaning from how heavily overstuffed he is again even despite this realization and whines as he admits he really needs to lose some of this weight as he's accidentally gone too far. But it's so addictive!

I really like the idea that despite all the approval he gets for being skinny, the experience just makes him realize how much he enjoys being fat and then he discovers how fun and good it feels to go from skinny to fat as an adult. It just gives him even more appreciation and excitement than before and with that, it's very hard for him to stop when he gets so fat and greedy and lazy again! 😍

#asks #weight gain #modern #imagines #stuffing

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ryehouses · 2 years

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For AST POV requests, I remember you once saying that you had a POV of Cobb and Paz’s first interaction?

I’d also like to mention, seeing as you have dropped the bombshell that you have like 100+k in POV scraps, that as a one shot writer who’s longest work is an abandoned one sitting at 20k, you scare the shit out of me!

howdy! thanks for stopping by!

by request, here's a cobb pov from his first meeting with paz + co!

(and don't worry, i scare the shit out of me too!)

in which mos pelgo gains new residents.

“What,” said Cobb, staring at the big, dark-furred Wookiee. He couldn’t remember the Wookiee’s name. Kas-something. He was one of Boba Fett’s people. Kirsha Littlemoon knew him and seemed to like him well enough, but Cobb had always been wary of Wookiees. They were just so karking big. “All six of ‘em?”

The Wookiee rumbled an affirmative.

Cobb sighed and resisted the urge to drag his hand down his face.

When he’d told Mando – Din, he’d insisted Cobb call him – that he’d put up Mando’s people, he hadn’t expected Din to hit Cobb with six.

Din might’ve mentioned that number, but still. Cobb had been too busy trying to make sure that Mando’d been alright, that night he’d come awake and found Mando sitting outside on Cobb’s vaporator, staring mournfully at the stars, and he’d half-expected any Mandalorians Din’d managed to turn up to stay with Din.

The man had that sort of effect on people.

Six Mandalorians, Cobb thought. That’s a lot of mouths to feed.

Granted, the kids were all small enough. The tallest of them couldn’t be older than twelve or thirteen. It was hard to tell with the helmets on – all six Mandalorians crowded in behind the Wookiee, eyeing Mos Pelgo and its people with more wariness than was warranted, in Cobb’s opinion – but they were skinny things, all arms and legs, and none of them was taller than Cobb’s chest.

The others make up for the little ones, though. One Mandalorian was a normal size. She wore all-black armor that was lined here and there with yellow and gold paint. But the other two, another Mandalorian in all-black, though his armor was accented with blue paint, and a third in greyish-blue, were karking enormous. Big as Wookiees, the pair of them, and significantly less friendly, which was saying something. The blue one in particular gave off a dangerous edge. Cobb looked at him, teetering on the edge of dislike.

They gotta have some secret to growing their kids this damn big, Cobb thought, a little sour. Din wasn’t especially tall, but he was a big man too, sturdy and solid.

Must be all the dragonslaying they get up to. Boba Fett wasn’t tall either, but he was built like a karking gundark and had killed the sarlacc in the Pit of Carkoon. Cobb eyed the two big newcomers with warier eyes.

What can they kill, I wonder?

The blue-grey one wouldn’t be up to much killing, if Cobb was reading him right. He was standing strong enough, but mightily favoring one leg and swaying a bit when he thought no one else was looking. He’d been hurt, and badly.

The brother, Cobb realized. Din had told Cobb about his brother, who had been injured.

So what does that make the rest?

Din’s family, if Cobb was reading between the right lines. Din hadn’t said much about them, really, just that he’d been looking for them, and he hadn’t even named any of them to Cobb.

But it looks like he found ‘em.

That was – good, probably. Din had been worried about them. He’d told Cobb as much.

Kasyyk rumbled again.

Cobb sighed. If these sorry skug-suckers were Din’s family, then Cobb would look after them. It was the least he could do.

He straighted, prepared to offer these Mandos what hospitality Mos Pelgo had to offer. “Yeah, of course they can stay,” he said. He was hardly going to kick them out.”We’ll find somewhere to put ‘em. Bessi’s old place, maybe.”

Kasyyk grumbled, sounding pleased. Cobb leaned around the big Wookiee and addressed the Mandalorians properly.

“You’re all welcome here,” he said, noting the way the older warriors had arranged themselves so that all of their kids were behind them. The blue one – the injured one – was in front of them all, shielding his kin with his bulk alone, like he’d put himself between them and the whole town to keep his people safe.

The resemblance to Din was a bit stronger, now.

Cobb softened a little. “You’re safe here,” he added. “We’ve got patrols and watchers keepin’ an eye on the desert, and some bolt-holes too, if you folks ain’t feelin’ sociable.”

He was met with silence. Cobb raised an eyebrow.

Friendly bunch, he thought.

“You can tell Fett that we’ve got it from here, Kasyyk,” Cobb said. “Din, too. Where is he, by the way?”

Cobb’d been looking forward to seeing Mando again. The man was dead useful to have around, and seemed to like spending time in Mos Pelgo. From the sound of things, the palace was always in busy chaos. It wouldn’t hurt Din to sit down in Taanti’s cantina and sip a drink for a while.

Kasyyk clapped Vanth on the shoulder – with enough force to stagger him, naturally – and began to amble off in the direction he’d come from,.

“Watch the blue one,” Kasyyk called back over his shoulder, the grumbles of Shyriiwook. “He likes to pick fights. Went for the boss, and Mando too.”

That made Vanth narrow his eyes. He only had a little Shyriiwook, courtesy of a young Wookiee named Tarssit who’d done a few freedom runs with Cobb when he had been younger and more spry, so he didn’t want to reply. He wasn’t sure he could do it without the Mandos catching on to what Cobb was saying.

He looked at the big blue Mandalorian with fresher eyes.

He was karking big. Solid, strong, with a stance like a bladeback boar preparing to charge.

This is Mando’s brother?

The Mandalorian evidently didn’t care much for Cobb looking at him. He dropped his chin. The resemblance to a charging boar grew stronger.

“What are you looking at?” the big Mandalorian rumbled.

Cobb stopped teetering on the edge of dislike and sank into the feeling whole-heartedly.

Yeah, Cobb thought. He might Din’s brother, but he and I – we ain’t gonna be friends.

One of the smaller ones, the girl in all black, shoved an elbow into the Mandalorian’s side. “Paz!” she hissed.

The big Mandalorian didn’t flinch.

Cobb’s eyes narrowed even further. He remembered talking to Din, a while back. They’d gone for a walk in the canyons, and Din had told Cobb something shocking.

“I’m dar’manda,” he’d said. Cobb wasn’t sure he understood the concept, but Din’d seemed to think that it was like – well. That it was like being dal’ahra. Someone who’d forgotten what they were, who they were. Who’d let that forgetting fester.

He said he hadn’t told his brother about it, yet, Cobb remembered. Does that mean he’s told the brother yet? Is that why he’d going around like he’s got a spit viper in his boots?

Kasyyk’d said that the blue Mandalorian had been fighting, with Fett and Din both.

Cobb mentally walked back his offer of hospitality, a little bit.

Oh, he’d shelter these Mandalorians. He’d look after them, keep them safe and out of the Imperial Remnants’ way. But if the big man thought he could push Cobb around – could pick fights here like he’d apparently been picking fights in the palace – he had another thing coming.

“Ain’t lookin’ at nothin’,” said Cobb, deliberately keeping his voice light and mild. “Just thinkin’ about where I’m gonna put you all. And how you’ll fit into the town duty rosters.”

The other big one leaned around the blue Mandalorian. All three of the kids leaned out around that one. It was kind of cute, actually. Cobb was reminded of anooba pups peeking out from the den through their mothers’ legs.

They’ve got a few more in the way of teeth and claws than anooba pups, though, Cobb thought. Honestly if any of these Mandalorians were even half as competent as Din, Cobb wouldn’t have any chores to give them.

But he had a few right now.

There’s almost always something to do around here, Cobb thought, warming to the idea. He didn’t want to work the littlest Mandalorians, of course. They were just kids. Cobb had no doubt that Tobes and Ryla and T’Paja would fold the youngest Mandos into the town’s pack of children without too much fuss.

But for the adults – for the blue Mandalorian, who Din had been so worried over –

“Duty rosters?” the Mandalorian in black asked.

Cobb nodded, smiled to himself. “Everybody in my town works,” he said. “You got anything you’re good at, kid?”

The blue Mandalorian shifted, clearly annoyed, but the kid jumped in before he could get going, rattling off a list of things he was good at.

Cobb only listened to him with half an ear. He was running through his list of the least popular duties around town. Breaking sandstone, mucking out the dewback pens, herding wayward bantha. Oh yeah, Cobb thought, grinning outright now. He was going to enjoy this. I’ll keep this Paz busy, alright. He’s not even gonna know what hit him.

#ast 'verse pov tag #ast asks #ast tag #the paz pov of this is scheduled for tomorrow sometime!#thank you <3

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soysaucevictim · 7 months

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"live by the sword and you die by the sword"

(There's a lot of violence and death in this fic, additional warnings on Ao3.)

[Prev / Start]

Chapter 2: “show your devotion, show me the pain”

Roman was sitting at the bar where the Dead Enders usually commiserated about their missions and other things. The owner was also plied by the Captain to keep everything said in there, within the group. Roman heard that the guy’s late wife was turned and then put out of her misery, by none other than the Captain herself.

The owner spoke nothing but the highest praise to her, in between fought-back tears.

There was an unspoken rule to save the tears for after The Fight was over. Conviction was a requirement drilled into Roman’s brain. Do not go soft, do not show vulnerability, you simply could not afford that.

Despite that, he still trembled at the look that runt in the hoodie gave him before he- the bar door chimed. Roman was determined to just drink whatever it was that Steve or someone else already ordered for him. He was trying very hard not to doubt himself, hoping the swill would quench his nerves. No one really talked about this part of the job – it was all for a higher cause. Zeal was the only thing that mattered.

Roman was busy trying to push it all down, until someone took the seat to the right of him. The first thing he noticed was the guy’s torn up, black skinny jeans. But the moment he saw what else the guy was wearing, the purple plaid patches were unmistakable, and Roman nearly jolted out of his seat.

The runt had his hoodie up and talked without turning to face Roman, nonchalant, “’Sup, I’m kinda new here. Name’s-.”

What came out was static.

Roman gulped, “I’m sorry I-I didn’t catch that, sir?”

The emo slowly turned toward Roman, nonchalance turned into terror, “Oh, it’s [more static noises]. Wh-what’s your name?“

When the zombie turned to face Roman straight on – it was missing over half its face, a cavity of ragged, dripping and clotted gore. Exactly where Roman shot it. Roman saw way too much and grew nauseous. He wanted to scream and he just couldn’t.

Where did all the Dead Enders go? Why was it suddenly dark? Why was he back in the alleyway?

Why did it hurt?

Roman woke up from the nightmare hyperventilating and queasy. His head was killing him and he felt sick. Getting up gave him a dizzy spell, disorienting him further. As he sat back down to stop the world from spinning, he heard Steve talk to him, “Didn’t know you were such a lightweight, Romano.”

Roman groaned, thinking, “Oh, right. Steve did take me drinking last night, didn’t he?”

Roman barely even remembered any of it – he didn’t want to admit weakness in why he agreed to get completely plastered. It was partly in celebration for his achievement and informal promotion, yes. It was partly just “social drinking”. It was mostly to forget. And that clearly failed.

The hangover was the cherry on top.

The Dead Enders would tell Roman that the feral, frenzied, decayed state to the zombies was an inevitability . So even in their early stages, never be fooled. They weren’t people anymore, they were just in denial and just lying to everyone otherwise. They had to be put out of their misery, the condition terminal.

It was surreal, looking at the trophy board as they called it. Just monsters, just bodies. Facsimiles that gave Roman a feeling of distance from what he was seeing. Props, body doubles, ballistic dummies. Things that don’t belong in caskets or remembered by gravestones. Easy to believe in the frozen snapshots after the deed was done.

He had seen the lot regale their records with so much pride, Roman craved that.

He had seen Steve and the others kill a few in his presence. He stuffed down any doubtful twangs with their infectious enthusiasm. Everything those monsters did before the buckshot to the head was a lie.

It was a lie. It was a lie. It was a lie.

Roman wanted some more hair of the dog, his lingering hangover doing a number on him. He stared at the photo with the purple patchwork hoodie pinned onto the hall of fame. Just a picture. A moment. A slice.

Roman was broken out of his stare when Steve gave him a hearty pat on a shoulder, nearly bowling him over from the force. “Romano, lookit that! Unbelievable!”

“Y-yeah. It really is, isn’t it?”

“This is the start of something great, man. I know you’re gonna make us all proud!”

That refilled some of Roman’s resolve. What he was doing wasn’t going to be meaningless. Unlike so much of his efforts until this moment.

---

Roman was in high school, a couple months proper into his senior year, when he was summoned out of the blue into his father’s lounge room.

Roman gulped, dreading what his father was going to tell him. He was already extremely tired and running on very little sleep. The night before, he burned the midnight oil rehearsing for a play. He did so while dealing with intense leftover soreness from football drills the night before that. He had a lot of homework that night to catch up on and felt the time to do that slide through his fingers.

“Roman. Care to tell me why the school administrator contacted me in the middle of a major business deal? About you, of all people?”

“I-I’m not sure what you’re talking about, Mr. Ortiz.”

“I heard about your extracurricular activities. You better not let that get in the way of your future.”

“I’m not going to quit the team! I-if that’s what you’re asking!”

“Then. What’s that about you joining the Drama Club?”

“I-uh…”

Rómulo sighed, before speaking with seething contempt, “If your coach says anything about you slacking off OR I see your grades slip. You WILL cut that useless shit out of your schedule, or else.”

It felt like the air was sucked out of the room, “O-of course, sir.”

His dad softened, “Good. I just don’t want you to turn out like. Well. You know.”

“I won’t let you down, sir!”

“I don’t expect any less of you, son.”

After that, Roman hurried to his own room and went immediately to his homework.

He wasn’t sure when he passed out that night, but he thanked God that he had a day off, when he woke up in the middle of the next evening. He was less grateful when the first face he saw was Remus.

Remus teased him, “You look like death, Robro.”

“Says someone who looked like he just crawled out of the grave.”

“Thanks! It’s what I was going for!”

Roman groaned, “Don’t you have anything better to do? I just realized I only got like a quarter of my shit done last night.”

Remus simply shrugged and left Roman alone after that. Roman didn’t want to look at him, not after what his father told him. He couldn’t afford the distraction.

---

It wasn’t much longer until Roman killed his second zombie. It had stumbled into an old well, somewhere in the outskirts of the city. Steve was the one who originally discovered it but wanted Roman to take it down. No strings attached, as long as Roman didn’t ask too many questions.

At least it looked like it was in its late stages. At least it attacked him first. At least it couldn’t talk.

Another picture. Another trophy. There was a space now on the Dead Ender board for Roman.

Roman badly wanted to obscure that purple hoodie more, not entirely sure why. The group held such pride in the Firsts and Steve prodded him about it, “Hey now, what’s there to be ashamed of?”

Steve pointed at his own cluster of hits, beaming with pride and started to ramble on about them to Roman. Roman’s mind kept wandering back to the hoodie and needing a drink.

He zoned back in to Steve pointed at one of the more humiliating pictures he took of one of those monsters. It was taken in some decrepit public bathroom, pictured huddled limply over a toilet. Its unrecognizably, gory pulp for a head swirling in the bowl. It was encouraged to get “creative” about it, too.

Roman felt kind of bad, just wanting Steve to shut up, “You want to go out for some booze again?”

It was often left unspoken, but that made things easier for the group. Frankly, Roman wasn’t so sure about that. A lot of it just reminded Roman about his brother and all the movies he was pressured into watching. The fact characters like Tallahassee reminded him of Remus, notwithstanding.

Steve chuckled, “Rain check. ‘Was actually here to tell you something. Captain wants to talk with you.”

Roman’s stomach dropped a little, he only just reported and pinned this trophy a day prior. “Th-thanks for the heads up, man.”

Steve simply shrugged and moved on to jabbering on to other members about his accomplishments.

---

When Roman had moved into Seattle, he was just hoping to make it a temporary step in his journey in making a name for himself on the stage.

He had his sights set on 5th Avenue.

He never got anywhere close, not when he was determined not to use his family’s status to get his foot in the door. Never mind the fact his father had no appreciation for the arts – something he had to be reminded of over and over and over again. Or that his mother was too busy with her own weird, vaguely pyramid-shaped, schemes – despite never being hard up on cash, as an heiress. He wanted to perform, not produce . He chose to go by Alejo, instead of Ortiz.

He was almost ready to pack up his bags and go for San Francisco or something, until he encountered a strange flier in one of the tinier community theater gigs he was working in at the time.

There were job postings and the like there – since most of the cast and crew still needed to afford food and rent. For many that Roman had worked with, the stage was only a side thing. There were a few torn off slips for it, by the time Roman noticed it.

It was talking about positions being open for one of the local gun ranges. Paid training was offered. It wasn’t particularly interesting until he read further. “There are monsters your government doesn’t want you to know about. Sign up with us to be on the bleeding edge of public defense!”

Roman had wondered about what they were talking about, so he pocketed a slip. Most of Roman just laughed about the word choice, “Monsters? Like what? Your garden variety murderers? Or- no. That’s silly.”

A tinier part of Roman was hopeful, thinking a bit more fancifully about it all. It could be something that mattered. He had to know what this threat actually was.

At first, it just seemed like an ordinary job. Roman learned about how to reset the field and various kinds of munitions and laws. It was boring, but he still had time to rehearse and mingle with that theater group’s cast and crew.

After a while, in hushed whispers, the owner of the range pulled Roman aside to finally tell him about the flier.

He was not expecting it to be actual zombies. He would not have believed them if not for all the photos, all the evidence they eventually shared with him and the other recruits. They didn’t hold back on shocking images – like there was one of those monsters tearing apart a- he scrambled to the trash with that one.

This wasn’t those silly make-believe stories of heroes, in his favorite Disney films or stage plays. This could very well be the real thing. Roman shored up the resolve to learn all he could from this group of protectors.

He just had to get used to the grisliness of it, that’s all.

---

The Captain started to look at Roman with a shine in her eyes that wasn’t there when he first joined up. It was subtle, but Roman felt like some tension, he wasn’t aware of holding, had eased up.

He craved it.

“I have another assignment for you.”

It had only been a few days since his second mark. He wished it was going to be another one like it, so much easier to complete when they didn’t look like- no, they’re not human . But that wasn’t going to be the case. The intel gathered was someone who looked almost completely ordinary.

He thought about that blood-soaked purple hoodie again. He barely caught the captain’s briefing details, but he did manage to get the gist without asking too many questions. Like a lot of the targets, the intel usually came from somebody who knew someone who knew the target before they were lost to humankind.

Jim knew some staff that worked at one of the more decrepit cinemas on the other side of the city. One of them only graduated high school a few months ago, and worked concessions. The kid got to know one of the janitors on the payroll. Said janitor had seemed out of it and more aggressive than usual, among other strange, new changes. The concessions kid was hesitant and unsure, rambling about watching too many zombie movies.

The Captain was wistful, “If only that kid knew what we are facing. I just told him we’d look into it. Maybe the kid was just spooked and it’s nothing. But maaaybe…”

Roman stood at attention, “He might be onto something. I’ll look into it, ma’am!”

The Captain smiled, “This report is as fresh as it gets, it’s absolutely critical to work quickly here. So, will you be there by the weekend? I will let the kid know you’re going to be there near closing hours.”

It was only a day’s notice. Roman gulped, he had a new script he promised to look at but- this was probably more important. “O-of course!”

“Good boy, that’s what I like to hear.”

Roman left feeling strange about that affirmation, but he thought better than to question it.

He didn’t want to fall out of her good graces.

That night, Roman was there a little earlier than he needed to be, but did get a chance to chat with the kid for a bit. The kid didn’t tell Roman much more than the Captain. He did hand off a staff key and pointed him toward Box 3.

It was in the middle of one of the last shows for some obscure and trippy splatter-punk movie involving vampires. It wasn’t really on Roman’s radar, let alone to his taste. The box was basically vacant and that made the sound system that much more obnoxiously loud. The place was supposed to be smoke-free, but he groaned when his nose was assaulted by a lingering scent of weed coming from the projector room.

He just had to wait until that janitor made those rounds and confront him. He drummed his partially opened gun carrier, anxiously hoping this was a false lead. He tried not to focus on the flickering screen, tried not to focus on the comical amounts of sex and violence and blood going on over there. Tried not to focus on how much it made him think of the purple hoodie or his-.

The door slowly opened up. Middle aged man with suspiciously white hair and a hazy look in his eyes, it took him a moment before registering that Roman was even there. “Who in the fuck are you?”

Roman smiled back, “Nobody important, I’m just an old friend of the tech guy. Wasn’t he supposed to be over here by now?”

There was a flash of something across this man’s features, “Y-Yeltsyn? He only just called in sick!”

“Sick, you say? With what?”

The janitor’s face twisted into a snarl, “Do I look like I know? Anyways. STOP. Avoiding. My. Questions.”

There, Roman noticed the zombie’s eyes flare unmistakably red a moment. “Looks like you just answered one of mine. Say, what used to be your natural hair color?”

“What’s your game, son?”

The zombie stalked closer as Roman grabbed the shotgun stock from the carrier, “Did you kill that Yeltsyn fellow, or something?”

The monster’s eyes became saucers and lunged for Roman with a surprising amount of ferocity. He felt something snag his jacket as he tried to free the gun and get out of the way. It was awkward trying to maneuver in such a tiny room, avoiding many close swipes at him. Eventually in that clumsy sort of dance Roman soon had the muzzle pointed at the monster’s face.

Like a flipped switch, the zombie looked at him, lost, “W-what’s fucking happening to me? I-I don’t-? D-did I-?”

Roman snorted, pretending not to be rattled by how much that expression made him think of his first one. “I suppose that’s my cue to put you out of your misery, zombie scum.”

“I’m a-? W-wait!”

BANG.

One moment, Roman summoned up a sort of zeal and bravado as he squeezed that trigger. The next, staring at the body in front of him, he suddenly felt boneless and like he couldn’t breath. Did he get scratched? He fumbled for the light switch and frantically looked himself over and over again.

Nothing. He let go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

He was glad the movie seemed to drown out the scuffle – since no one came rushing in to check. He made short work in capturing and reporting the matter, like before. Like before the Dead Enders had strings they could pull to make sure no one important would know of their activities.

Roman kept it short with the concessions kid and urged him not to look inside as they cleaned up the mess.

Roman needed another drink.

Roman continued pinning more trophies on the board, as the weeks passed by. He was bitterly relieved that they were starting to crowd out the hoodie.

At some point, he quit going to the theater group. It was a rotating door, anyways.

He felt like a machine, just doing what he was designed to do. He would never need to ask, “how many has it been since the start?”

He recently broke a dozen. Some were easier than others, but that was the nature of the work. He developed a habit of obsessively checking himself for injuries. He would get nightmares about being turned into one of those things; different zombies, occasionally wearing that blasted patchwork. It made getting enough sleep so much harder.

Steve had started to make a move on him, Roman didn’t know the guy swung that way. Steve did tell him to keep that quiet with the rest of the group, but he wasn’t complaining. It was another one of those things his parents pushed back on all the time, growing up, that was until his brother had gotten worse.

Drinking together and sharing a bed reminded him he was alive, and more importantly, human. It seemed like the feeling was mutual.

The only thing they really ever talked about was Dead Ender work. Steve would get snippy when asked about his history, even though he was the one sometimes mentioning a brother in extremely vague terms. That started happening after one of Roman’s hits, he wasn’t sure when or why. Roman supposed he couldn’t blame him, he never wanted to talk about his own.

Roman had assumed Remus was dead at that point, and it was easier to just not think about it.

Roman stopped complaining about the ashtray smell Steve would have no matter how many times he showered. Even if it reminded him of his dad.

One day, the Captain had assembled a number of the Dead Enders to address the state of their crusade.

She projected her voice loud and clear, “Our scouts have been gathering information on a particularly dangerous zombie. Its status confirmed – found feeding , on multiple occasions. Description: biker punk, wears a lot of green and black, often seen wielding a nail-bat…”

Roman had thought he noticed an increase in the ranks disappearing over the past few months. He wasn’t sure if he’d seen a zombie of that description, yet.

Steve muttered into Roman’s ear, “Scouts? More like pussies.”

Roman wasn’t sure how to respond to that, the Captain continued, “We believe this one to be protecting an abominable pipeline of the disgraced dead. One connected to Shady Plots, Meat Cute, and the Scratching Post. It may not be the mastermind behind the operation, but this creature should remind you ALL, what we’re fighting for. It has already eliminated so many of our dear compatriots, as it is.”

Roman piped up, “So the runt with the hoodie was-?”

The Captain nodded, “Yes. I’m putting out an APB on this thing. You WILL be guaranteed promotion and increased bounty, once it has been eliminated. Dismissed.”

Everyone nodded at that and scattered. The Captain, however, singled out Roman, “And you? You want to finish what you started, son?”

Roman gulped and nodded, “I won’t let you down!”

[Next]

#sanders sides #roman sanders #virgil sanders #remus sanders #iz!au #halloweenhorrorfest #spilled musing

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cutlikediamonds · 11 months

Text

i might be a lot more active here for the summer lol

so i just finished my first year away at school which honestly it had high highs but also low lows so i dont mind coming back home but at the same time, the highs i got were mostly even possible because i wasnt home. my family means well and i love them and i dont want us to ever become estranged or anything but there was just a lot of unresolved trauma and grief among all of us and getting to escape that did wonders for my mental health and even my relationship with them. but i have no where else to be for the summer but home, where i dont have my bedroom anymore and im sleeping on the couch, and where i feel like im surrounded by people who are forever going to cling to a version of me theyve had since i was a kid because they refuse to realize i grew up or that they ever hurt me, intentional or not.

(and it wasnt intentional ever, i know that, which makes everything more complicated because i know im valid in my anger about it but also know that they genuinely didnt mean it. its complicated. families are complicated.)

anyways, that itself is kinda fine on its own. its stressful and it requires all my efforts of self advocacy and regulating my emotions but i was doing okay taking on the challenge mostly.

but ive been here a couple weeks now and something has become incredibly clear that i wasnt really ready for, this house is still so goddamn disordered when it comes to weight and eating and its only gotten way fucking worse.

part of me getting out of here and healing was i got to be completely in control of my own food and restart that incredibly unhealthy relationship from scratch and heal a bit for once. maybe even exercise for reasons that werent self-punishment. i got to finally figure out what foods i even liked because i wasnt just only considering calories and guilt anymore. now im home and i guess i forgot that they all stayed here and didnt get the same experience, theyve only gotten worse. and theyre supportive of me working on my mental health, even if they dont always understand, but ive never told them about my own eating disorder so of course they arent thinking anything of it, but im already relapsing.

i went from not even having access to a scale to having two in the house. they instantly went back to calling me the skinny one. they love boasting about the number on the scale going down and how small their appetite is now and how they arent even hungry - they do not comment on the throwing up and the dizziness theyre getting from the injections.

yeah, injections. not that im expecting an audience but for anyone reading, if youve ever heard of those injections that are originally for diabetics that are now being marketed for weight loss (as if it isnt hard enough for diabetics to get the treatment they need in this fucking country), thats what my brother and sister are on thats making them shed all this weight. my mom isnt on it but shes her usual self, being over supportive of toxic behaviors and trying to hide ‘junk’ food and shit from them, passing it all off as her being helpful.

the thing is its again complicated too. i dont wanna be negative when they try to celebrate their weight loss, i know its something that has genuinely troubled them for years and i can tell this means a lot to them, but fucking come on. i dont need to be a psychologist to see how wrong this all is. i know its a lot harder to do the real work of unpacking your relationship with your body and diet and find a healthy balance but if this is the easy way out they take instead?

theyre obsessive. i just saw my brother weigh himself after eating. my sister is body checking every time she passes the mirror. my mom keeps saying the calories in everything when either of them are looking for something to eat. someone told them ‘i heard most people gain back most of the weight after something like this’ (which is true) and its like they just refused to hear it - ‘im not gonna let that happen.’ hey, as someone who had the exact same fucking mindset when i lost a crazy amount of weight and was scared of one day gaining it back, yeah you fucking will.

and thats what sucks. is i can see how shitty this all is but im too weak to help because its all just triggering me and now i dont wanna stop so i cant make them stop cuz then id have to too. i dont want to admit my own problems yet, then they try to stop me. call me a hypocrite, i am one, i dont know what you want from me. i think ive made it pretty clear we arent very mentally well here.

so thats why im gonna post here more. i dont wanna tell anyone about it cuz i dont wanna admit how much it triggers me, and i also am sick of trauma dumping and venting to friends, so im just gonna grin and bear it and scream about it here.

im down five pounds. its nothing compared to the tens of pounds theyve lost already, but they are kinda cheating arent they so im not even gonna bother comparing. my hw was 170, it was my sw for the worst stint of my restriction. i got all the way to 129, then started antidepressants among other changes and was stuck in the 130s and scared of gaining more for a while, then actually got a little bit happy and gained up to the 150s where ive stayed ever since. i never got to loving my body, i honestly still had a super long way to go with recovering. but it was something. im 151 this morning, i really really really want to keep going. if i can end the summer and start the next semester at 140...

so yeah. ill see you guys later. this made me feel better.

i hope everyone else is having a safe summer.

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fangirl-everythang · 3 years

Text

Mirrors C.T.H

Summary: Calum and Y/n's schedules haven't lined up in a while. When they finally do, Calum decides to try a reflective persuasion if you will.

Warnings: Daddy Kink, Swearing, Spit, Slapping( well maybe one), Just lots of smut.

Word Count: 2691

A/N: This was inspired by @ContentCalum on Instagram. 10/10 recommend for short blurbs. (ALSO posted on Wattpad)

Can't wait to see you, princess, xxx.

That was the last text I got from Calum after he told me he was coming home. Today was my day off so I spent the day doing some housework. The four of them really do a number when they're together. Recently our schedules haven't been matching and I rarely see him. Just brief periods between my early work schedule and his unpredictable night/ whenever the fuck Michael wakes up studio times haven't left us much time together.

While that's in the oven I can shower. Deciding against pajamas I just grab one of Calums shirts because it smells just like him. Usually, I wouldn't wear a bra but a bralette won't hurt. With the hot steam rolling down the sides of the shower, I let the water hit my sore muscles. Work has been overly stressful. Between this new launch and creating a new marketing scheme, you would think we were planning the Met Gala. Putting those thoughts work thoughts aside, lathering and scrubbing every area of my body that has seen this house today. Afterward gotta lotion up because ashyness is not an option, sliding on the matching lace panties and Calums shirt that comes down to my mid-thigh.

Going back downstairs to turn the oven off I get started on the sides. Cauliflower mac and cheese isn't as bad as it seems, hopefully. "Duke do you think your daddy will notice?" He looks at me with those cute eyes, not a care in the world, guess not. The sound of the door opening has Duke happily barking and running away from me. Following not too far behind our fury son I see Calum kneel next to Duke.

"Hey Bud, did you miss me?" he asks playfully petting the sweet creature. He cuddles into Calum further when he looks up at me, "Hi princess."

"You know I think it's unfair when you ask Duke does he miss you when I'm standing right here." I grin. He stands up grabbing my waist "Well I know you missed me love." he smiles.

"Did I? You're kind of annoying." He gasps playfully holding his heart. Leaning my head back I reach up to kiss him. He takes his time bringing his lips to mine so I put my hands on his cheek and bring him closer. His soft lips against mine send me into a frenzy. God, I've missed him like crazy. Parting all too soon he leans his forehead on mine. "I love you." he rasps.

"I love you too bub." I grin going back into the kitchen. "Did you want to eat first or?" I ask looking at him questioningly.

"It's 4 pm Y/n." he chuckles. Well, we can eat later then, he concludes.

"Well, it's our first time together in forever, what now?" He has a smirk on his face and reaches for my wrist. "What is it Cal?" he walks away and up the stairs leaving me to follow him. I should turn the oven off. Glancing over to Duke he's in his little bed laying down. Being so cute I had to take a picture...or three. Taking my time up the stairs to admire the pictures of the cute doggo, "Cal look at these pictures of Du-What are you doing?" He continues to play with the reflective furniture.

"Do you know how good you look in the mirror? I couldn't stop thinking about all the dirty pictures you sent me," He stares at me through the mirror. "You're lucky I wasn't here babygirl." My cheeks flush as he pushes me closer to see our reflections dancing in the mirror with a tight hold on my hips.

"You're my distraction," he whispers as he slowly begins sucking underneath my ear, leaving kisses down my neck. My heart rate increases as his tongue touches a sensitive spot, shivers running down my spine. "As much as I want to tell you how beautiful you are, well you've been a bad girl hmm?" His hand lightly trails across my neck, his eye contact never leaving as he snakes his other hand towards my front over my clothed womanhood. "Answer me." His grip becoming more firm on my neck.

"Yes daddy." he hums in approval as he lifts his shirt above his head exposing his tan torso. "Look at how sexy you are baby." but he didn't seem satisfied when my eyes stay glued to the ground. He could have any girl he wanted and yet he chose me. I'm not skinny whatsoever. I have more tits than ass and rolls for days. The stretchmarks that litter my body don't bother me but most aspects of everything else does. His hand reaches for my hair in a tight fist forcing me to look up at our reflection, my core aching at the sudden pull. "I'm speaking to you." he says very sternly, "I guess I'll just have to make you listen."

Stripping himself of his pants and sitting on the edge of the bed right in front of the mirror he opens his legs and pats me over. "Sit." I obey him, anticipation building in my core. His hands roam my body freely lingering wherever they please. He begins attacking my neck slowly dragging his finger across my thigh "Look at you, acting like a good girl hmm?" he moves the cotton fabric up to my waist giving him a view of my panties from the mirror "'gonna be good for daddy?"

I nod silently, he shakes his head in a disapproving manner. "Use your words Love."

"I'll be good for you daddy." he hums in approval, spreading my legs apart. He traces his finger along the outskirts of my panties, my hips thrusting lightly "excited now are we?" he smirks looking at the wet spot through the mirror. Calum slides the thin material to the side, lightly grazing my clit. My eyes momentarily closing at the brief touch before his other calloused hand reaches up, grabbing my jaw, forcing me to to look up. "You're going to watch as I tease your cunt. You're going to cum on my fingers, then you'll watch as I devour your pussy. Close your eyes even once and I'll force another out of you. Got it?" He has a fire blazing behind his golden-brown orbs.

"Yes sir." nodding along as his fingers begin tapping on my clit. "Good girl," he whispers before dipping his middle finger into my sex, the digit easily slipping in. "Nuh that way." he reminds me once more to look up into the mirror. The glass allowing me to see everything at once, the way he looks at me hungrily, his slender finger shining with my arousal. I can see his other hand going to reach for my breast before I feel it, the mere fact causing a moan to leave my lips.

"Awwwe you like watching yourself being played with huh?" he maintains eye contact with me through the mirror, as he adds another finger into my throbbing hole. His length pressing into my back, hardening with every sound from my mouth. "Rub your clit y/n."

My hand following his orders adding more sensation to my building orgasm. The scene before me so pleasingly intimate and erotic. "Cal I'm goin-" My back arching into him as my orgasm takes complete control of my body, his eyes on me every step of the way.

He brings his fingers to my lips, allowing me to taste myself, whimpering himself when I take his fingers into my mouth, sucking them as if they were his member. I release them, clean, turning to face him. "I thought I told you-" I lean forward straddling his waist, kissing him roughly. "I know but I want to please you too Cal." Before he can respond I gently slip off the bed, face to groin. I pull down his boxers just enough to release his straining cock, gently stroking it in my palm. "Let me take care of you," I smile at him, pressing a kiss to the side of his shaft "Please daddy." He groans, swiping his thumb over my lip and nodding. We've been apart far too long, aching to taste him once more.

I lick his shaft, tasting his pre-cum on my tongue, he lets out a sigh of relief, embedding his hand through my hair. "Mhmmm just like that princess." He moans as I take most of him in my mouth, cupping his balls and pressing my forefinger lightly on the skin between the two. The feeling of him in my mouth forces my mind to wonder about him being inside of me, stretching me in the best of ways, a moan finds its way out from my throat around Calum causing his hips to thrust more. I clench my thighs together to provide some friction for my thoughts, I reach my hand between my legs relieving myself from all the arousal. "Get up." he demands, seeming almost angry. Not wanting to question him I rise confused by the sudden change of tone, knowing better than to say anything.

He removes any fabric left covering my body aggressively, not saying a word. Pushing me back till my knees cave against the bed causing me to fall back onto our shared mattress. He places himself between my legs, rubbing his length along my core painfully slow. "Please, I need you Cal." He continues gazing at me through his lust filled orbs, desire seeping from his pores. He pushes his tip in and then taking it out, the feeling gone as soon as it had appeared. A whine erupted from my lips, he chuckled to himself. "Remind me again y/n," he states in a hushed tone, "Are you to touch yourself without my permission?" He looks at me, his finger dancing over my sensitive nub but neglecting it furthermore. Accepting my silence for an answer, "And yet you did." His head dips down encapsulating my nipple in his mouth, a breathy moan leaving my lips as his hands roam my body freely. My hips thrusting trying to create some- any friction. "Cal I won't do it ever again, just please- please fuck me daddy. " A stinging on my cheek causing a gasp to leave my lips, surprised by this side of Calum. Still shocked, he places his hand firmly on my cheek pushing my face into the mattress. The only thing in view is the mirror with his gorgeously tanned tattooed body on top of mine, hand still placed on my face. He leans in dangerously close, moving a strand of hair aside slowly, his fingertip leaving the slightest touch before putting his hand back with the same pressure as before, "Now watch sweetheart." he darkly whispers.

Before I could question it his entire length thrust in me at once, a broken moan escaping me. With the side view, I can see him pounding into me, each thrust harder than the last. "Fuck- so wet hmmm, such a good whore." he moans, I nod under his hand clenching walls around him, tilting my pelvis to meet his. He removes his hand from my face to apply pressure to my clit, hitting a particularly blissful combination. "Fuck Cal right there!" I scream as the bedrocks underneath our sweaty bodies. He slows his movements savoring the view before him, his good girl-now fucking onto him, desperate for release. Her hair frizzy, eyes fluttering from excessive pleasure, he never wanted it to end. "I love you y/n."

"I love you too Calum." I reach up grabbing his neck to pull him back to me, our lips meeting once more passionately while he thrust into me again. He presses my body closer to his as my legs wrap around him for dear life, my hands holding onto his as if he'd disappear. "Can I cum please?" He grunts, nodding his head in approval of my very much needed release. Unable to focus on anything but the eruption of pleasure from my core, repeating a slur of Calums name over and over again like it is the only thing I've ever known. His release following shortly after, the warmth of his seed filling me. His panting is my focal point upon return, watching as each breath falls from his swollen plump lips. I giggle moving some of his sweat-coated hair from his face, "Welcome home Mr.Hood." He smiles laughing at my gesture, "Quite the welcome it is Miss Y/L/N" He pulls my face forward once more placing a soft kiss to my lips, which is happily returned before he pulls me to the edge of the bed, still seemingly connected, placing me dead center in front of the mirror once more. Looking at him with a curious glance, he notions to the mirror as I watch his every move. He pulls his softening member from my core, a gasp leaving my lips due to the newfound vacancy.

His eyes never leaving mine as the smirk on his face grows, kneeling between my thighs. I lean up on my forearms to see both him and the reflection better, the handsome bassist looping his arms around my legs, keeping me in place. "Look how pretty baby." He says watching our fluids drip out of me, his tone of admiration never wavering. My hips jut back as he strokes over my clit, still hyper-sensitive from the orgasm just moments before. As I retract my pussy away from his devilish grin he rumbles a low growl, attaching his lips to my center, his wide hands gripping my hips with brisk strength-leaving prints in their path. His tongue lapping my hole over and over again. He replaces his mouth with his fingers, the scissoring motion driving me on edge once more. He leans over me, tapping on my lips to which I comply with his wishes, opening my mouth. He smiles before releasing the cum-mixed spit down my throat, swallowing our combined fluids moaning as he returns his mouth to my pussy. My wetness glistening all over his face as he continues to but himself in me. Seeing his back muscles contract in the mirror each time he moves, watching him devour me in the most sinful of ways. I can see it all, moans leaving my lips between my pleas for him to stop his assault but nonetheless, he persists until my legs are a quivering mess around his head. My bare breast rising with every sharp inhale, my back arching further into him, hoping to get away but he keeps me planted there in front of him.

"I need to- Cal can I-I- fuck please" The words barely able to leave my lips, he stares at me nodding but never removing himself from my core. My orgasm ripples through me, forcing my body to compromise, stiffening as I release on Calum's tongue. My hips riding his tongue exactly where I need him as my fingers grip at his hair, hearing him moan at the feeling sending an aftershock of vibrations through my center. An unholy slurping noise from Calum is the last thing to be heard as he joins me again on the bed, pulling me into him. His lips providing every emotion needed. "I missed you."

I laugh at his cute post-sex neediness, "I missed you too Cal." He pats my head, letting his hands rake through the mess of hair on top of my head as I trace over his feather tattoo. "Did I ever tell you how good you taste?" he murmurs, shrugging lightly to himself, "Fucking delicious." His hands lingering the curves of my body before he places two fingers on my clit. "No, no, no not again." I chuckle pushing him away as my body shudders from the sensation.

"Hmmm I suppose we'll have more time today." he rasps. "Indeed we will." I smile placing a kiss on his cheek. Let's just say the night was more than eventful, happy to be in each other presence again.

A/N:

WOW long time no see! I can't wait to get back into the flow of writing and now that the semester is over I have more time lol.

I hope you're all hanging in there alright!

xoxo-Janelle

#5sos smut #5sos x reader #calum 5sos #calum hood smut #calum x reader #calum hood #calum imagine #Blurb #Smut #cth #5 seconds of smut #5 seconds of summer #luke hemmings #ashton irwin #michael clifford #reader insert #y/n #x reader #fanfic

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spine-buster · 3 years

Text

Patience is a Virtue ft. Matthew Tkachuk | 𝒥𝓊𝓈𝓉𝒾𝒸𝑒

CONTENT WARNING: this story deals with cults, polygamous cults, escaping cults, strict adherence to religion, gender roles, abuse, miscarriage, and a character with a traumatic past. T͟h͟i͟s͟ ͟c͟h͟a͟p͟t͟e͟r͟ ͟s͟p͟e͟c͟i͟f͟i͟c͟a͟l͟l͟y͟ ͟h͟a͟s͟ ͟m͟e͟n͟t͟i͟o͟n͟s͟ ͟a͟n͟d͟ ͟d͟e͟a͟l͟s͟ ͟w͟i͟t͟h͟ ͟m͟i͟s͟c͟a͟r͟r͟i͟a͟g͟e͟ ͟a͟n͟d͟ ͟s͟e͟x͟u͟a͟l͟ ͟a͟s͟s͟a͟u͟l͟t͟.͟ Please be warned.

Word Count: 14,637

Please consider donating to my Ko-Fi page if you are able. Link in my bio & Masterlist.

A/N: “Courage” officially broke my record for most notes on a debut chapter, so thank you all so much for all your likes and reblogs! This chapter is more serious in parts, but we get to see an evolving Effie and an evoling Effie/Matthew dynamic. Enjoy!

* * * * *

Effie. Her name was Effie. And everybody knew it.

Rachel was no more. Rachel was a thing of the past and she was going to stay there. Rachel was a person who had been hurt and abused. Rachel was named by an abusive, violent, cruel, despicable tyrant who called himself Abraham and proclaimed he was a prophet. Rachel was a girl with no voice, no agency, nothing to call her own. Rachel was a girl who belonged to someone.

Effie was new. Effie was her chosen name and a thing of the future. Effie was a person learning to come to terms with her trauma after years of hurt and abuse. Effie was name by herself, for herself, to reclaim her identity after years of it being denied to her. Effie was a girl with a voice, agency, and even though she could only count a few things as her own, they were just that – her own. Effie was a girl who belonged to nobody but herself.

That was how she liked it.

Naming herself instilled a new sense of confidence within her. It was small, and it was gradual, but the people around her could notice it. Matthew knew he could. She was more assertive…in her own way. She didn’t ask “Can I ask you a question?” before asking questions anymore. She just asked. She was proud of her learning and was getting used to showing it off. Her independence increased. She’d walk to Starbucks to get her strawberry frappucinos instead of having Jenna drive her. She engaged in more conversation. She made jokes. She laughed at jokes. She went grocery shopping with Jenna and said “I want to buy corn dogs” so she and Jenna bought corn dogs and they had them for dinner one night. She went to Levi and said “I want to get a phone so I can text Annica” and so he gave her an old iPhone he had in the house. She asked Annica more about makeup, even though she was still a bit apprehensive about using it. She asked Geneviève about words she’d read and wanted to know more about. Feminism (that was the best word she learned, Effie thought. She was a feminist). Socialism. Communism. Democracy. Geneviève explained them all to her. She asked Geneviève about pants.

She wore pants.

It was weird at first, wearing pants. She’d only ever worn skirts and dresses, even in the privacy of her own home when she was in the cult. The prophet demanded it; women were not allowed to wear pants. So when Jenna encouraged her to try on an old pair of jeans that she had, Effie did. They were big – Effie was still, well, small, and gaining weight every day – but Effie liked them. “Can I buy a pair of jeans?” she asked Jenna. Jenna promised to take her shopping at the mall on the weekend. It would be Effie’s first time in a mall.

Effie wanted to be fearless, but there was still a lot of fear in her. Everything was so new, and so big, and sometimes so complicated, and she wished things were easier but she knew they couldn’t be. But instead of before, when she would let the fear overcome her, she embraced it instead. She worked through it. She did things in spite of the fear. She did things because she didn’t want the fear in her anymore.

That’s why she found herself walking now. Walking to Starbucks. Well, not to Starbucks exactly, but to the complex that held the Starbucks and a bunch of other stores. Effie had noticed one particular one a few storefronts down and had taken mental note of it for when she was ready for it. And now, walking with purpose through Aspen Woods, clutching something very important in the pocket of her jacket, she was ready.

“Chop it all off.”

“What?!” the hairdresser shrieked as she looked at Effie through the mirror, after putting a robe around her and running her hands through her long blonde hair. “But your hair! It’s healthy and it’s long and luscious and—and it would be a disservice if I chopped it all off!”

“Please. I need you to cut it. I need you to—”

“This is the greatest head of hair I’ve ever seen—”

“You don’t understand,” Effie interrupted. “I escaped a cult. I escaped The People’s Dominion of Christ. This hair was never mine; it was always someone else’s. I need you to cut it off so that it’s mine, so that something on my body is mine for once in my life.”

The hairdresser looked at Effie through the mirror, blinking a few times as she realized what Effie was saying. Without saying another word, she reached over to her station and grabbed her scissors. “How much do you want off?” she asked.

Effie unfolded the picture from one of Jenna’s old magazines that she had crumpled in her hand, showing the stylist. “Like this,” she said. “I don’t even want it touching my shoulders.”

The hairdresser nodded, placing the picture face up at her station so Effie could look at it as the hairdresser did her magic. She took one last look at it before tying an elastic loosely around the hair. “Ready?” she asked, gripping it.

Effie nodded firmly. “Ready.”

***

Effie had six numbers stored on her phone. Levi. Jenna. Annica. Geneviève. Jacob Markstrom. Matthew Tkachuk.

“Hello?” he asked as he picked up his phone.

His voice was a welcome sound to Effie, who was nervous but excited as she looked at herself in the mirror. “Matthew? I’m—I’m sorry to bother you, but can you come pick me up?”

“I—yeah—is everything okay?” his voice sounded immediately worried. “Where are you?”

Effie didn’t even know. She covered the receiver with her hand and turned towards the hairstylist. “What’s the address?”

“225 Mercer Street, Unit 13.”

“225 Mercer Street, Unit 13,” she repeated into the phone.

Matthew was officially confused. “The Starbucks complex?”

“Yes…but a few stores down,” Effie informed him.

“I’ll be there in like, five minutes.”

***

Matthew was nervous. Effie hadn’t sounded nervous on the phone, but he was still nervous. It was out of the ordinary for her to call him to pick her up from anywhere, let alone from a place where she knew how to get home from now that she took the initiative to walk most places she wanted to go. It wasn’t like he was going to deny her – he was speeding through the streets, if he was being completely honest – but the thoughts in his mind were running a mile a minute, and he had no clue what to expect.

When he pulled into the complex, he searched for unit 13 and parked right in front of it. It was only when he turned off his car that he actually saw the name of the store he’d parked in front of. Abigail’s Hair Salon.

Matthew walked in.

He stopped dead in his tracks. In front of him, Effie stood sheepishly, her long, flowing blonde hair chopped off almost completely, and in its place, a chic blonde bob, perfectly styled and perfectly her. She had a t-shirt, baggy skinny jeans, and old Doc Martens on – no doubt all borrowed from Jenna – and she looked like a vision. He couldn’t help the smile that overtook his face. “Effie,” he said her name bashfully, breathlessly, because it was so much to take in and she just looked so…cute.

“Does it look nice?” she asked, patting it down at the sides.

“It looks great, Effie,” Matthew said, and she could tell he meant it sincerely. He bit his bottom lip before continuing his line of questioning, even though all he wanted to do was look at her. “You wanted it this short?”

Effie nodded her head.

“It suits you,” he nodded. “Did you pay?” Effie nodded her head. “Did you tip?”

Effie looked scared for a moment. “Tip?”

Matthew automatically took out his wallet and pulled a $50 from inside, giving it to the hairstylist. He turned to Effie without another word. “Wanna grab some lunch?”

“You—you’re not busy? I thought you would just drive me home.”

“Let’s grab lunch,” he said casually, like it was no big deal. “Grab your jacket. What do you feel like eating?”

***

Matthew watched Effie for most of the meal, if he was being honest. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of her regardless of how hard he tried. But he kept any emotions or any feelings at bay, kicking himself for anything he was feeling that was…questionable. He didn’t want to be that guy. He didn’t want to make things more complicated for her when she was already learning so much, when the world was already a complicated place for her and she was trying to find her place in it.

“What team does your brother play for?” Effie asked, picking at her plate left with all her fries. She ate her bacon cheeseburger first and devoured it in less than ten minutes. For Matthew, it was impressive. He knew she was trying to gain weight. He shuddered to think what she looked like a year ago.

“The Ottawa Senators,” he replied.

“In the capital city,” she said, and Matthew nodded his head. “You must be very thankful that he’s in Canada with you. What about your sister?”

“She plays field hockey at the University of Virginia.”

Matthew watched as Effie furrowed her brows. “She can play sports and go to university? That’s a thing?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Matthew smiled, chuckling slightly. “She’s a great field hockey player. She committed to the school when she was a junior – when she was sixteen – and now she’s finally on campus. She’s going to school too, obviously. That’s the most important thing. But she’s also playing Division 1 field hockey.”

Effie nodded her head, considering all the things Matthew had just said. Women could go to university – she knew that now thanks to Jenna and Geneviève. But…women could play sports and go to university? Women could play sports for their university? That was new information. Effie thought about girls playing hockey and whether or not they could do the same thing. She thought to Levi watching Toronto Raptors games at home and wondering if women could do the same thing with basketball. She had not been allowed to play sports. Anything more than running, women were not allowed to do. Taryn had been sixteen and had committed to play field hockey for a university. When Effie was sixteen, she was definitely not doing that. “Your sister is very lucky,” she said softly. “To be able to do that. She’s very lucky.”

Matthew knew there was weight behind those words. They weren’t to be taken lightly. He could only imagine what Effie was up to when she was sixteen years old as opposed to Taryn. “She knows,” Matthew said. “Taryn’s a really smart girl. She knows she’s really lucky.”

“It’s kind of nice how in the normal world, women can go to university, and get an education, and play sports, and do whatever they want, and wait to have their children,” Effie said.

Matthew shrugged. “If they even want kids at all. I know some of my friends back home don’t want them. Nobody says women have to have them,” he said it like a throwaway comment, looking down at his plate to grab a fry and dip it in some ketchup.

Silence. Pure silence from Effie. He stuck his fry in his mouth and noticed how quiet it got and he looked up with half the fry in his mouth and half the fry still between his fingers, like a dumbass, only to see Effie staring at him with a blank look on her face. When he looked closer, he saw her eyes were glossy. He gulped. “Wh…What do you mean that women don’t have to have children?” she asked.

Matthew chose his words carefully. He should have known. He should have fucking known, but he just had to go open his big mouth. Now, he realized the words he was about to say would change Effie’s perception of things dramatically. The last thing he intended was for the conversation to swerve in a direction like this, but they were here now, and he had to live with it. Own up to his actions. Be the person he promised himself he would be around her. “So, like…women in modern society have the choice. They can choose not to have children. Some women don’t want to become mothers. It’s a personal choice. And nowadays, women don’t feel as pressured to have families. Like, maybe they want to pursue a career instead, but it’s not even that. You can just…not want children.”

Effie had heard the word of God her entire life. It was the first thing she remembered; it was her earliest memory. Some days – on bad days – it was her only memory, the thing that haunted her most at night, and she’d toss and turn in her bed to try and get the rolls and rolls of scripture out of her head. Be fruitful and multiply. Be fruitful and multiply. Be fruitful and multiply. But this – what Matthew was telling her – this was not the word of God. This was something else. This went against everything she knew. This went against everything she was brought up to believe. “Oh, okay,” she whispered.

Matthew could tell he had just said something to Effie that rocked her foundation. And then he thought to himself ‘Of course this would be happening. Everything is new for her.’ The modern world was completely alien to her. She didn’t know anything. No women’s liberation. No women’s rights. No individuality. Voting. Elections. Doctors. Hospitals. Jeans. T-shirts. Wearing her hair however she wanted. Makeup. Cell phones. Instagram. Twitter. Snapchat. Hockey – literally the most unimportant thing at this point. She was learning, and making great progress, but things like this – these big ideas – still shook her to her core. They went against everything she knew and everything she was brought up to believe. It wasn’t easy for any person to have their foundation cracked; Matthew knew it would be even harder for her.

“Can you excuse me for a second?” Effie said suddenly, not bothering to hear an answer from Matthew before she pushed her chair back and stood up from the table, escaping back into the restaurant.

Matthew felt like there was cement in his feet as he replayed the moment over and over in his mind, the sight of Effie’s glossy eyes realizing children were optional in the real world burning itself into his mind forever. God, to find out this way – over bacon cheeseburgers at some restaurant and not in a safe space where she felt comfortable. To have it be him, a man, that told her this instead of someone like Jenna, or Geneviève, who had been teaching her everything. He was an idiot. He was such an idiot.

A jolt of electricity struck through his body and finally jolted him out of his seat, his legs making him run towards the back of the restaurant near the washrooms where he knew Effie went. “Effie? Effie?” he called out as he opened the door to the women’s washroom.

When he stepped inside, he saw Effie huddled in a heap on the floor, her knees to her chest as tears flowed down her face. Her skin was red and blotchy and he could see her chest heaving up and down. “Effie—” he bent down to be at eye level with her.

“I need you to take me home.”

“Effie—” he reached out to touch her.

The second – the millisecond, the nanosecond – that Effie felt his touch for the first time, her entire body flinched so violently away from him that it scared him. Matthew recoiled his hand quickly as his breath caught in his throat. “I’m sorry—I’msosorry—I’m so sorry—” he stuttered out.

She was silent as she looked at him for a moment through her tears. There was a look of pure fear in her eyes that Matthew hadn’t seen before, not even the first time he met her at Noah’s birthday at the steakhouse. “What if women can’t have children?” she asked, her voice so small and frail that it broke Matthew’s heart.

He struggled to find the words because it was such a simple concept for him but such a complicated one for her. “That’s…that’s not their fault,” he said calmly, but the tone of obviousness was still apparent.

“What do you mean it’s not their fault?” Effie’s tone was incredulous, like a seven-year-old child learning prematurely that there was no Santa Claus.

“It’s not their fault, Effie,” he reiterated, not knowing how else to explain it. “I…it’s not their fault. It can be a medical thing. I mean most of the time it is, if they can’t have children. And it’s not their fault,” he just kept repeating it.

“What if…what if women don’t want to have children, but can? Are…are they punished?” she asked.

“Why would they be punished? No,” he shook his head.

“Matthew…” she was apprehensive. “Are you telling the truth?”

“I wouldn’t lie to you Effie,” he said softly, wanting so desperately to just reach out and touch her, hug her, but knowing that if he did, he’d just inflict more fear in her. “I know it’s not what you’re used to, but it’s the truth. Some women can’t have children, and some of them don’t want children, and both of those things are perfectly okay.” He watched as the tears streamed down her face as she stared him in the eye. Shaking.

Then it finally hit him like a ton of bricks.

“Effie…” he said uneasily.

“There were seven.”

The words hung in the air for an unknown amount of time. It could have been years for all Matthew knew. But as he stared into Effie’s eyes, he felt an incredible pain in his heart; a pain reserved only for her, that only she could give him. He thought of how she kept all her own pain inside her constantly, how the trauma was a part of her just as her hair, her fingers, her toes were. She carried this with her every single day. Every. Single. Day.

“It’s not your fault, Effie,” he whispered. He knew better than to try to reach out and touch her again. So he settled on words, because words were his best option. “It’s not your fault.”

***

“Did you really think you’d be able to come to a therapist’s office and think you’d be able to discuss a patient?”

Matthew stared at Dr. Jessica Barlow sitting across from him – her seated on her plush chair, him sitting on the couch he was sure all her patients sat on – and he didn’t really appreciate her tone of voice. So maybe it wasn’t the most flawless plan. Maybe there were holes. But he was there, damnit, and there for a good reason. The best reason. She was the best psychotherapist that specialized in cults in Alberta – probably in western Canada, judging by how many degrees and certificates and awards she had displayed in her office. She was the best and most qualified person to help Effie, surely, which is why Effie met with her three times a week. That meant she was also the best and most qualified person to help Matthew.

“Maybe,” he mumbled out. Matthew would have been intimidated, but for some reason, he wasn’t. Even considering they were alone in her office, even considering he’d never met or been to a therapist before, he wasn’t nervous or intimidated. He was determined. “I need you tell me what I need to do. Tell me. Tell me and I’ll do it.”

“For who?”

“Effie Schaffer.”

Dr. Barlow looked incredulous, like a mix between seeing a ghost and not believing the words that were coming out of Matthew’s mouth. But then he watched as her face softened slightly, and turn inquisitive instead of suspicious. “You’re Matthew,” she said, framing it as a statement more than a question.

He knew what that meant. “Effie’s told you about me?” he asked.

It was a lost cause – he knew that the second the question left his lips, because he knew Dr. Barlow wouldn’t tell him a word. Doctor-patient confidentiality and all that. If dentists couldn’t even talk about their patients, there was no way in hell a psychotherapist who worked with cult survivors would say a peep about anything. “Effie’s opened up to you quite a bit, hasn’t she?”

Matthew leaned in. “Yes. That’s why I need you to help me. I want – I need to know how to help her.”

“Matthew,” Dr. Barlow took off her glasses. “First you need to tell me why you want to do this,” she said matter-of-factly.

Matthew didn’t want this to become a session. It wasn’t about him; it was about Effie. “I’ve just become her friend, and I’ve been spending a lot of time with her lately, and—and I just want to know what I can do to help her get even better.”

“Because you’re her friend.”

“Yes.”

“Because you care about her.”

“Well, yes. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t care about her in any capacity.”

Dr. Barlow paused. “It’s not that simple, Mr. Tkachuk—”

“Why not?” he asked, interrupting her. “She’s leaps and bounds better than when she escaped! At least according to her brother!” he defended himself. “Listen, I know it hasn’t been a long time that I’ve known her but I – damnit, I can help her. I can help her but I don’t want to hurt her – I never want that to happen ever again, even if it’s by accident, and you need to tell me. You need to tell me how I can do that so I can actually do it.”

Dr. Barlow stayed silent. “You’ve already been incredibly patient with her,” she chose her words wisely. Matthew could read between the lines. So maybe Effie spoke about him more than he initially thought. “We should just leave it at that. I appreciate the effort, but—"

“She told me how there were seven,” he said, his voice steady and calm but firm and resolute. When he looked up at Dr. Barlow, she was staring back at him with a stoic yet shocked look on her face. “She told me there were seven, and when I tried to—to console her, to touch her, the way her body jumped away from mine…I…” he trailed off. He rubbed his fingers against his lips nervously.

“So then you know and realize that Effie was a member of a religious cult where she was routinely raped by its leader so he could impregnate her with the son of God for almost five years.”

It was the first time the word had been said out loud. He didn’t want to repeat it. He wanted it burned from his memory, from Effie’s memory, from the dictionary, everywhere. He knew it happened but he didn’t want to admit it to himself. Saying the word out loud made it different; it made it real. It made him acutely aware of the trauma Effie had been through, and how she didn’t deserve any of it, yet she was burdened with it for the rest of her life. He was biting down on his bottom lip so hard he thought he’d draw blood. “Yes,” he said curtly. “I realize.”

“I know how close – relatively – you and Effie have gotten ever since you were introduced. Her progress has increased dramatically since it,” Dr. Barlow began, again choosing her words wisely. “I know everything you two talk about on your Starbucks dates. I know you introduced her to candy and watched Little Women with her. Matthew – I’m not telling you this because I’m making some point that Effie tattles and tells me everything about her relationship with you. I’m telling you this because you’ve already been doing what you need to do. You didn’t need to come here and ask me for specifics.”

“But I don’t want to hurt her,” Matthew said, his voice barely above a whisper. “What happened that day when she told me and when—when I tried to touch her…”

“It might take a while for her body not to seize up anytime a man touches her,” Dr. Barlow said. “That doesn’t mean she’s not making progress. It’s the mental progress we want to see. And it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong, either. Just give her time, Matthew. Exercise patience with her.”

***

The next time Matthew saw Effie, she didn’t know he was coming. But he called Levi and made sure it was okay, and so when he descended down the stairs into the basement and saw Effie’s bedroom door opened, he took a deep breath. He collected himself. And he moved forward. He knew he didn’t have to do this – any outsider would have said that – but he knew he needed to do it. He needed to make it right.

“Effie?” he knocked lightly on her door before stepping into the door frame, finding her sitting at her desk reading something.

She turned her head to look at him and a smile appeared on her face. It felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders to see her smiling. He didn’t exactly think she’d be cradled in a corner crying, but he did think that maybe she wouldn’t be happy to see him. It was a relief. “Hi Matthew.”

“Can I come in?” he asked.

“Of course,” she nodded, pushing her desk chair out as he walked in slowly. “How’ve you been?”

“I’ve been okay…” he said, biting down on his bottom lip nervously. “How—I mean, have you been okay since that day?”

He saw something flash behind her eyes – a memory of the tears, the feeling, the questions. He knew he relived it every other minute since it happened because he felt so guilty about it. He wondered if Effie relived it every moment too and whether or not it brought her constant pain. Matthew would never forgive himself if it did. “I’ve been good. Learned a lot, as you can imagine,” she joked slightly. “I read up on what we talked about. Geneviève helped me.”

“So you know it’s a thing now.”

Effie nodded. “It made me realize I never want children.”

Matthew should have been shocked by that statement, but he wasn’t. Knowing what Effie had been through, he understood why she wouldn’t want them. It was her choice to make and hers only, and nobody could or should influence her otherwise. “That’s good. Good that you can…you know, say that out loud. That you’re not forced into something you don’t want anymore.”

Effie nodded her head. “I knew it all along. I mean, children are a blessing, but they’re not for me. And knowing the way I was brought up, with abuse and no loving parenting from my parents or from anyone around me, I don’t want to pass that legacy on. I’m too scared to fall back into that. I’d have no idea how to raise a child. I know that now,” she said, watching as Matthew walked further into the room and lean back slightly on her desk. She looked up at him. There was a moment of silence between them as they were just there, staring at each other in her bedroom. Effie tried not to get lost in his blue eyes. She wondered if he could see past her calm exterior. “I’m sorry that I flinched away from you that day,” she said quietly.

“I should be the one apologizing—”

“No,” she said as sternly as she could, getting him to stop. “You don’t have to apologize for anything. You didn’t hurt me that day, so don’t think you did. I just…I get apprehensive about touch, because we weren’t allowed to, and because once I finally was, it wasn’t…nice,” she revealed, knowing he’d get the point. “But I know that your touch is nice.”

“How do you know?” Matthew asked.

“Because you’re a nice person.”

She took it upon herself to look at his hands. They were on either side of his body, gripping her desk just in case it collapsed under his weight or something – who knows. But they were there, exposed, for her to look at. They were big – bigger than Abraham’s – and younger, of course, rougher around the edges due to hockey but still better than the only other pair of hands she’d had experience with.

He caught her looking. Slowly, almost painstakingly slowly, he brought his right hand up and opened it, palm facing her, fingers pointing up towards the sky. He watched as Effie brought her hand up too, even slower than he had, opening it up and facing her palm towards his. There were a few moments where she was stagnant, thinking about how this was the first time she was going to touch a man other than her predator fake husband or her brother. Then she moved her hand closer. Closer. Closer.

When she finally touched Matthew – when she finally touched him – a million electric bolts ran through her body. The feeling of his skin on hers, his delicate yet rough touch as she pressed her small hand into his large one so she could feel his entire hand on her hand – it was unlike anything she’d ever felt before. The simplest action gave her the most surreal feeling. There were no words for it. No words, in fact, because all she could do was smile. A big, wide smile, spanning from ear to ear as she kept her hand against his.

Matthew smiled too.

***

“This was a very quick progression from ‘Can women get tattoos?’ to ‘I’m getting a tattoo’, you know,” Geneviève laughed as she and Annica watched Effie take a seat in the tattooist’s chair. The tattoo artist, a young woman with sleeves of her own, was preparing everything appropriately as the women chatted. “The turnover rate was, what, a week?”

“Less,” Annica giggled.

“When I went to the orthodontist’s when I was ten, I saw a man there with his entire arm covered in tattoos. I was so scared I started crying. I asked the prophet about it when I got back to Sheerness and he said they were marks of sinners and that the devil influenced them,” Effie laughed along with them. “But I see them on people at Starbucks all the time. I think they look really nice.”

“And you’re absolutely sure you want what you’ve requested? You’re not gonna regret it, right?” Annica wanted to make sure Effie was making the right decision.

Effie nodded her head emphatically. “Definitely. Definitely.”

“What is it? Can we see it?” Geneviève asked.

Effie shook her head. “I want it to be a surprise,” she said, biting her lip. “You guys don’t think I’m crazy, do you? Doing this to my body?”

“Absolutely not,” Geneviève replied automatically, her tone telling Effie that the notion was absurd. It was nice for Effie to know that the two women in front of her would never judge her. It was nice to know a woman could be supported in her decisions, and not be told it would make God angry and that she was sinning and going against the prophet. “It’s your body, remember? Your body, your choice.”

Effie nodded after a moment. “My body, my choice.”

***

“It’s still a bit red and itchy. Annica said I need to put an elastic around my wrist and snap it whenever I want to itch it,” Effie said, her voice filled with excitement but a certain anxiousness that was characteristic to her.

“It’s alright. Just show me,” Matthew smiled as he watched her roll up the sleeve of her cardigan. When she finally did, and stretched out her arm, Matthew’s mouth gaped open. “It’s huge!” he exclaimed, definitely not expecting it to be that big. He thought Effie would get a dainty tattoo; something small. He didn’t exactly think she’d have a “go big or go home” attitude about a tattoo – something on her body forever. But it was big. It took up at least two-thirds of her forearm. The linework and shading were impeccable; the detail exquisite. It was made up of flowers – he didn’t know what kind – but they were big and small, all sizes really, and there were a few leaves, a few stems, and it just looked so beautiful. He brought his hand up to touch, but stopped himself. “Can I?” he asked.

Effie nodded. “You can touch me,” she said, preparing herself.

Matthew brought his hand up slowly. He touched her arm, grazing his fingertips over the linework delicately. It was still bumpy, a testament to how new it was. “It looks amazing, Effie,” he whispered, his fingers still grazing delicately.

“You haven’t even seen the best part yet.”

“The best part?” he arched his eyebrow. What could be better than this?

She turned her arm over, palm facing up, where another large flower was tattooed on her skin. Matthew noticed some handwriting along the flower, and he leaned his head down to read it. ‘I am mine before I am anyone else’s’.

Matthew smiled from ear to ear. “Effie,” he whispered bashfully, just like he had when he saw that she cut her hair short for the first time. He was so bashful because he was so happy to be seeing her making her own decisions for once in her life. “Do you love it?” he asked.

She nodded enthusiastically. “I love it so much. It’s mine. It’s mine.”

***

“Did Jenna make these?” Matthew asked Levi once he was done with his stretches, noticing a giant Tupperware filled with some sort of cookies. Matthew had seen some of the other guys in the locker room with them and decided to investigate. He took a massive bite of one and his entire mouth watered. In that short moment, he was sure he’d never had a cookie so good in his life. “These are phenomenal,” he said with a full mouth.

“Nah, Jenna’s not a baker,” Levi shook his head. “Effie made those.”

Matthew’s brows rose. He gulped the bite of the cookie down. “Effie? Effie bakes?”

Levi smirked, side-eyeing him. “Effie knows how to make and churn butter from scratch. She had to learn in the cult. She knows how to bake and cook a lot of things because she had to be a traditional wife. But she enjoys baking the most. Baking is what brings her the most joy, so she’s started baking again.”

Matthew nodded nonchalantly. “She can bake all kinds of stuff then?”

“Bread, sweet stuff…yeah, pretty much,” he said. “She actually…well, she’s trying to find a job where she can put it to good use, since she actually likes doing it.”

“Effie’s getting a job?!” Matthew exclaimed, louder than he intended. Levi could only chuckle. Matthew felt the need to cover. “Where? What—where? What’s she gonna do? How is she—I mean, why?”

“She’s gotta support herself, doesn’t she? If she wants to move out, or earn her own money—”

“Effie’s moving out?!”

“She’s not moving out tomorrow, Matthew, but she’s going to be moving out soon.”

This was all news to Matthew, of course. He tried to play it cool, calming himself down and not making a big deal out of it – well, more than he already had. The fact that Levi, Jenna, and Effie were discussing jobs and moving out had absolutely nothing to do with him. He was just on the outside. He didn’t need to be part of the decision making at all…at all. But he still got nervous. Effie was still learning about a lot. And ultimately, at the end of the day, he wanted her to be safe. A safe job. A safe apartment. “Where’s she looking?”

“There’s a cute little hipster coffee shop in the downtown core she has an interview with,” Levi informed him. “If she gets the job, and if she enrols in the online business certificate program Geneviève recommended to her, I promised to pay three months worth of rent until she can pay it on her own. She’d earn enough from minimum wage and tips for sure, especially downtown.”

Hipster coffee shop. Online business certificate. New apartment. There was so much new information coming at Matthew that he didn’t know how to process it all. He was happy for Effie – he was – and he wished her only the best, but it was still a lot. “Well…when you need help moving, call me and we could put these muscles to work,” he said, flexing his arm for dramatic effect, trying to hide the fact that he so obviously cared, and miserably failing to hide that fact to Levi.

Levi let out a haughty laugh. “I’ll be sure to mention it.”

***

Matthew downed a shot of tequila – the good tequila – and smashed his shot glass down on the bar as the smooth liquid coated his throat and made his stomach burn. Noah let out a loud ‘Wooooo!’ and Sean, ever the dumbass, choked on it as it went down. Matthew almost spit up the shot out of laughter watching Sean struggle to swallow it, picking up his glass of whisky the bartender had just poured. “You’re already wrecked, buddy,” Matthew chastised him as he got control of his coughs. “You’re embarrassing.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Sean sneered. “We all know you’re trying to get all your alcohol in before Effie gets here.”

Matthew chuckled. “Fat chance of that happening. Effie’s not coming.”

Sean rolled his eyes. “Well, either I’m high or you’re wrong, because she just walked in the door.”

Matthew’s back stiffened as he whipped his head around to look through the crowd of people. Sure enough, he could see Effie raising her hand to chest level so the bouncer at the door could stamp her hand. Noah made a noise that sounded like a seagull and Sean let out a chuckle and a muffled “Dude owes me a fucking drink for that one”. Before Matthew’s legs could move him forward, he noticed Meredith approach Effie; she hugged her and Effie allowed Meredith to grab her hand so she could guide her through the crowd and into their spot at the back of the lounge. The music was loud and the floor felt like it was vibrating but it was nothing compared to the beat of Matthew’s heart.

Fuck.

When Meredith and Effie finally made their way through, he saw that Effie was wearing Jenna’s ballet flats, skinny jeans that were still a bit big, and a sequined top that fit so big any other girls in the club would have probably worn it as a dress. He could feel the whisky burning his stomach and the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK.

“Effiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeee!!!!!” Claudia squealed once she noticed her, sauntering over to her in her high heels and bending down to hug her. “You made it! I’m sooooo happy!” she continued squealing. Matthew wondered if Effie noticed that Claudia was already drunk. “Is this your first time in a place like this?”

“Yeah,” Effie nodded her head nervously. “I’m sorry—I—I know I wasn’t supposed to be here and I said no, but—”

“Are you kidding? The more the merrier! Let me take you to Andrew so you can say happy birthday!”

Matthew watched as Claudia led her to Andrew, tapping him on the shoulder to reveal Effie. Andrew was happy to see her, and – knowing better than to go in for a hug – politely held his hand against his heart when she wished him a happy birthday. None of the guys on the team had ever touched her – well, except Matthew. He seemed to be the exception to a lot of things regarding Effie, and he was proud of that. He didn’t want anyone else touching her, even if they were his teammates.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

“You came alone?” Andrew asked her. Effie nodded. “We’ll have to find you Matthew then. He’d kill us if we didn’t tell him you were here.”

Matthew didn’t know what Andrew was saying – the music was too loud, and he couldn’t read lips – but the cement in his legs finally dissolved and he found himself walking over to them, wanting to make his presence known at that very moment. When Effie saw him, he could swear her face lit up. “Fancy seeing you here, Effie,” he smiled, holding his glass of whisky near his chest.

She went in for a hug.

Matthew was so shocked he almost didn’t hug her back. Even Andrew was looking at them like he’d just seen a monkey perform a magic trick. Matthew draped both arms around her and hugged her back, making sure not to spill his whisky all over her. He tried not to let it seem like he was shocked – hugs should be a normal thing for Effie, he thought – so when she pulled away, he was already smiling down at her. “What brought you here?”

“I wanted to see what these places are like,” she said when she pulled away. She took a look down at his drink. “Is that iced tea?”

“Whiskey.”

She looked around at everyone else, noticing they were all holding glasses with drinks in them too. “Is everybody drinking alcohol?”

“Pretty much,” Matthew giggled out.

“I’ve never drunk alcohol before,” she revealed.

“Do you want to try some?”

“No,” she shook her head. “I’m not ready.”

“That’s okay. Do you want something to drink, then? Some water? I’m sure the bar can make you a virgin drink if you ask for it.”

“A virgin drink?”

“Virgin means no alcohol,” Matthew covered quickly. “They’ll make you whatever you want.”

Matthew watched as Effie considered it, looking over to the bar before she shook her head. “I’m not thirsty yet. I’ll go when I’m thirsty.”

***

Effie didn’t dance. She didn’t drink. All she did was look.

By looking, she was learning. She watched how people interacted with one another in this type of setting and she internalized it. She watched girls approach the bar and get served by the bartender. She watched as guys flirted with them and bought them drinks. She watched people take shots and then ask for another. She watched people get handsy, with touches on hips and lower backs and arms the most popular spots she saw men putting their hands on women. She watched people drag one another towards the dance floor. She watched kisses being placed on necks and shoulders and lips, tongues dragging across, shocked that people would be doing so out in the open. She watched girls raise their drinks in the air and kick their leg up as they posed for photos with their friends. She watched girls move their hips seductively. She watched guys getting their bodies as close to them as possible.

“What are they doing?” she asked Matthew as she watched them dancing like a hawk.

“Uh…it’s called grinding.”

She’d talk, and ask questions, and Matthew was beside her the entire time answering her questions and milking his whisky, not caring that he wasn’t partying with Andrew or with the other boys, because when Effie was around, he was all about Effie – nobody else mattered. He’d stay with her until last call if she wanted to stay that late. He’d already resolved that he’d be going home when she was going home because he needed to make sure she got back to Aspen Woods safe, and also because there was no reason to be at the club when Effie was gone.

Did he hear himself? Did he really just say there was no reason to be at a club full of beautiful girls during his friend’s birthday?

Fuck.

Noah, Sean, and Johnny ended up coming back to the booth for some water. Johnny made eyes at Matthew and Matthew subtly gave him the finger; Effie didn’t notice because she was looking over at the bar. “I’m thirsty. I’m going to go get a drink.”

“Let me go for y—”

“No,” she said sternly as Matthew was about to get up, standing up herself and holding her hand out. “I’ve watched. I know what I need to do. I can go.”

Matthew gulped. He didn’t want to deny her independence but he didn’t want her to go alone. “Are you sure?” he asked. She nodded, and Matthew had to let her go. And all he did was look.

***

Effie approached the bar slowly, trying not to get shoved around by people crowding around the bar. It was much busier actually being in the crowd than just looking at it, and Effie was almost regretting her decision. She’s never been in a place with so many people. Well, that was a lie, maybe – church was always busy, obviously, especially the church for the People’s Dominion. Sundays were the worst. But there were definitely not this many young people congregated in one place. Effie knew this is what young people did in the normal world – Geneviève told her so. It was one thing to know about it, to be apart from it in a different area and watch; it was something completely different, actually being in it.

She made her way to right behind a few people at the bar – some scantily clad girls with some really pretty dresses on. Effie admired their beauty. They had beautiful long eyelashes and their lips were red and berry-coloured. Their skin was flawless and tanned – weird for April in Calgary, but tanned nonetheless. Effie wondered if they were wearing makeup, and wondered whether or not she’d ever wear makeup herself. When they got their drinks, they began to move. One of them noticed Effie behind them and gave her a quick up-down. “Take our place, sweetie,” she said, letting Effie move into their place before she watched them make their way through the crowd and back onto the dance floor.

After watching, she knew now she had to get the attention of one of the bartenders. Every single one of them was busy pouring drinks. She watched as a couple of men on the opposite end of the bar raised their hands and the bartenders went over to them, so she decided to do the same. After a few minutes, a bartender came. “What can I get you?”

“Um, water please.”

“You driving tonight, darling?”

Effie shook her head. “I don’t drive. I just don’t drink alcohol.”

“Do you want anything more exciting? I mean I can at least get you ginger ale or a coke.”

Effie didn’t like coke – she thought it was too sweet – but when he mentioned ginger ale, she reconsidered. “Okay. Ginger ale is good.”

The bartender nodded, grabbing a glass and filling it with ice before getting the drink gun. “Do you have a tab going?”

What was a tab? Effie shook her head. “What’s a tab?”

The bartender looked at her skeptically. “How are you paying, darling? Are you with a party?”

“Oh! I’m here for Andrew’s party! Andrew Mangiapane.”

“Got it,” the bartender winked. “Here you go, darling. Enjoy.”

Effie grabbed the drink and took a sip out of the straw. It was nice and cold, just the way she liked it. Just as she was about to leave and go back to Matthew, a big body slipped into the empty space beside her. A man – a very large man, it seemed, though she was so small that every man looked large to her – took up all the space. He was looking down at her with a very, very amused expression on his face. “Ginger ale, girl?” he mocked her.

Effie couldn’t tell. “What’s wrong with ginger ale?”

“You’re gonna come out to a bar looking like a walking felon and order ginger ale?” he pressed, winking at her.

“A walking felon?” she repeating. She didn’t have a clue what he was talking about.

“Let me buy you a drink,” he said. “A real drink.”

“I don’t drink.”

“Wanna start?”

“No,” she said firmly.

“That’s fine. I can think of better things we can get up to than drinking, anyways,” he smiled.

Effie furrowed her brows. “Like what?”

The guy smiled, and it was creepy, and she finally saw behind his eyes every thought and every intention he currently had. “Let me show you,” he said, and Effie saw, out of the corner of her eye, that he was bringing his hand up to touch her. At the same time, he was leaning his head down.

“HEY!” a loud voice boomed, and Effie immediately recognized it as Matthew’s. Before she could even see him or realize where he was coming from, he squeezed his way in between him and the man. Matthew’s hands were now on her body instead, the man’s hand nowhere near her. “Get the fuck out of here, buddy.”

“Who the fuck are you?”

“You touch her one more time and you’re fucking dead,” Matthew growled.

“Dead, eh? So you get to touch her but I don’t?”

“Fuck off.”

Effie was taken aback by the anger in Matthew’s voice. She’d never seen or heard him so angry. She knew he was capable of it, by how he played hockey, but she didn’t think he’d be able to get this angry in a social setting. Her body tensed up. “Can we go back to our booth?” Effie asked loudly, placing her hand on Matthew’s, hoping to get his attention.

Matthew looked back at her quickly, and when he saw the trepidation on her face, he immediately listened to her. As he turned to leave, pushing Effie ahead of him with his hands still on her waist guiding her, he heard the man make one last call out to Effie. “You don’t want to have some fun, girl? I can show you a better time than this dick with my dick!”

Matthew had had it. He knew he couldn’t punch out a guy in a bar. He knew he couldn’t do much without causing a scene and the cops getting called and everything getting out of hand. So instead, he used everything at his disposal to make his point, the most important thing being his size. He turned around and flexed, standing up straight and making himself as physically big as possible, bumping up against the guy on the chest and backing him up against the bar. He had only a few inches on the guy, but he was suddenly intimidated. “You even so much as breathe in her general direction and I won’t hesitate to knock your teeth down your throat,” Matthew growled, making fists with his hands. He didn’t even wait for the guy to say anything. Instead, he just turned and walked away, noticing Effie waiting for him in the crowd.

“Is everything okay?” she asked.

“It’s fine,” he said curtly, leading her out of the crowd and back to the booth.

“Are you sure, Matthew?”

“Positive,” he mumbled as they finally got to the booth.

Effie turned around to get a good look at him. She knew he was lying because she could see how angry he was on his face. She got nervous – really nervous. “Matthew—”

“Did he touch you? He didn’t touch you, did he?” Matthew demanded. He needed the answer to be no so he could calm down.

“Please don’t be mad at me.”

Everything in Matthew suddenly cleared. All he saw – all he was able to see – was Effie’s face, and how nervous she was, and how she was looking up at him with a certain tenseness. “Effie—no—I could never be mad at you. I’m mad at that guy for being gross.”

He noticed Effie furrow her brows slightly. “Was he trying to get me to have sex with him?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know what he wanted. But he was being gross and the second I saw him wedge his way into the bar I got up.”

Effie nodded. “But you’re not mad at me, are you?” she asked again.

“Never, Effie. Never.”

***

Annica had never been more flabbergasted or without words than when Effie asked her to explain what Instagram was. Geneviève had to step in, giggling as she mixed together the baked feta pasta the girls were having for lunch. “It’s supposed to be a platform for sharing pictures,” Geneviève explained. “You know, like the book you’re reading, or where you’re going, if you go on vacation, or if you see something cool, or let’s say you go out to eat and you want to show what you’re eating…that sort of thing.”

“People want to know that stuff?” Effie asked innocently, causing the girls to giggle. “People want to know that about me?”

“I’d love to follow you on Instagram. I’d love to see how you see the world,” Geneviève said. “It would be a breath of fresh air, to be honest.”

“How would it be a breath of fresh air if everybody is doing it?” Effie asked again.

“Everybody’s not doing it. That’s the point,” Annica said. “Instagram has transformed into this, like…God, I don’t even know what to call it. It’s one big advertisement now.”

Effie considered what the girls were telling her. She trusted them both, which is why she asked. Annica talked about it a lot, and was on it a lot, which is why Effie became interested in it in the first place. Geneviève was on it too, of course, running her own account and also having access to the account for her literary magazine Atomic (she’d given Effie a bunch of old copies to read through, and she was going to devour them right after she finished Geneviève’s book, which was technically a collection of essays). For a girl who just wanted to be as normal as possible, it seemed to her like Instagram was the logical next step. “Can…can you guys help me make a profile?”

“Of course,” Annica said as all three of them sat down at the table. “We can do it after lunch.”

“I’m not your therapist, but you should use it to chronicle your journey and what you’re doing outside of the cult now,” Geneviève offered. “That’s what I meant when I said I’d love to see how you see the world. You can post all the things you’ve been baking recently, or the pretty things you see in Calgary when you’re out and about on one of your walks.”

The second that Geneviève mentioned ‘chronicle your journey’, it was like a switch went off in Effie’s brain. She nodded her head. “That’s what I’m gonna do. Let’s make a profile after lunch.”

***

FOLLOW REQUEST: effieschaffer7

You have accepted effieschaffer7’s friend request.

Effie?????

Hi Matthew

U made an insta?

Is it okay if I follow you? Annica helped me

Yes of course it’s okay if u follow me

I am going to post my baking I think

That’s good! I will have to try some one day

When you get back from the road trip there will be something new. Levi requested a lemon meringue pie and you can have some too if you want.

I’m gonna make sure Levi drives us home then

***

It was Effie who swung the door open excitedly. Matthew was excited to try the lemon meringue pie, but apparently she was excited about something else. Her eyes were as wide as the moon and as bright as the sun. “I got the job!” she screamed.

Levi dropped his bag as he screamed, catching her as she jumped from the doorway into his arms. Matthew started cheering too and started clapping; it was only then that Effie even remembered he was standing there, but he really didn’t mind. “Congratulations, Effie!” he smiled from ear to ear. “Look at you go!”

She let go of her brother, but still held on to his arms. “That means I can get the apartment! That means I can pay for the tuition for the business program! That means…I…I’m just so excited!” She looked over at Matthew, seeing his smile, and did the unexpected.

She hugged him. She jumped into his arms just like she did with her brother and wrapped her arms around him tightly. He reciprocated easily, wrapping his own arms around her too. “That’s amazing, Effie!”

“I just—aaaahhhhheeeeeppppp!” she half yelled-half squealed, letting go of Matthew so they could get back inside. April in Calgary was still cold. Both Matthew and Levi set their bags down at the front door and walked straight to the kitchen, following Effie who was practically kicking her heels up. “I can’t even speak! I mean, this is—this is me getting to work! I get to work! I get to make my own living and make my own money!”

“You should be really proud of yourself,” Matthew said as he sat down on one of the kitchen stools. “And you get to do something you like to do! Not a lot of people get to say that.”

She nodded enthusiastically, opening the fridge. “Here, try this,” she said, taking out the lemon meringue pie she had promised them. “The owner of the coffee shop said I’m going to start with cookies and brownies and small stuff like that, and then maybe I can expand,” she said.

She cut the pie, plated it for her brother and Matthew, and handing them forks. Matthew dug in automatically, shoving a giant piece in his mouth. The second it hit his tongue, he groaned. “Oh…oh Effie…” he said in between chews. “This is gonna be dangerous.”

“Is it good?”

“You may need to bake me something every day, now, Effie. Either that or I’m gonna come visit you every day.”

***

“Piiiiiiivvvooottttt!!!!!”

“If you say that one more time, I’m gonna kill you,” Matthew screamed at Sean holding the other end of the couch at the bottom of the stairs.

“Piiiiiiiiivvv—”

“Monahan!”

“Is everything okay, boys?” Effie’s sweet voice asked from the top of the stairs, popping her head out of her brand new apartment.

“We’re fine!” Matthew called out, not wanting her to worry. “Monahan is just being a jackass!”

“Am not!”

They got the couch upstairs. They got the bedframe upstairs. They got the mattress upstairs. In a little one-bedroom apartment above a storefront on 8th Avenue SW in downtown Calgary, Effie Schaffer was moving in. Well, Effie was in her apartment unpacking boxes and organizing everything. Levi, Matthew, Sean, and Jacob were helping move in her furniture. She was going to thank them gracefully with another pie – this time, she’d experimented with a banana cream pie with salty bourbon caramel. It was in the fridge waiting. Each of them would get a nice big slice.

Geneviève came over for a bit, helping Effie with organizing the kitchen. And Jenna dropped by after work, making sure everything was in order. Jacob and his piece of pie left with Geneviève, and Levi and his piece of pie left once he knew everything was in order, and Sean and his piece of pie left after he and Matthew had finished putting the couch together. Matthew hadn’t left with his piece of pie yet. Matthew stayed.

“This apartment is so great for you, Effie,” he said as he sat down on the couch, admittedly exhausted from all the hauling but despite that, still not wanting to leave. There was so much to do and say and admire with Effie now that people weren’t around, and though he’d never admit it out loud to them, he always wanted to be alone with her. It was different when he was alone with her. With other people around, he couldn’t stare at her too long without being caught, or they couldn’t talk about things from their previous conversations that only they knew about. With people gone, they could. He’d stay until Effie told him to go home; if she would even tell him to go home. He was unsure if she knew she could tell people to leave because she was tired or just wanted to be alone.

“Tomorrow Levi and I are going to go to the mall to get me a laptop for school,” she said, opening her fridge. “My course starts in June. It’s going to be really exciting.”

“That’s great,” he said, looking at her from the couch. “It’s business, right?”

She nodded her head enthusiastically. “Business administration. Are you going to come try this pie or what?”

Matthew hauled his sore body off the couch and made his way towards the kitchen, standing next to Effie as she sliced a piece of the pie for him. He reached over her head and grabbed two plates from the cupboard, setting them down. Their bodies were close – purposely, he had to admit selfishly, on his part – so that every time she turned the pie and made a slice, her arm and elbow would touch him. He watched as she carefully plated the slices.

Before she moved to grab the forks, she looked up at Matthew. “Can I try something?” she asked timidly.

He furrowed his brows slightly. “Of course.”

Effie hesitated, looking Matthew in the eye, wondering if she should really go through with what’s been on her mind since Andrew’s birthday party. She resolved with herself to never let fear get in the way of her making a decision in her new life, especially now that she was free to make those decisions. So she did it. She did what she wanted to do.

Effie Schaffer stood on her tip-toes and kissed Matthew Tkachuk.

It was light, chaste, and pure; no tongue, no longer than three seconds, and no warning. But she kissed him. With her eyes closed. And for the first time in a long, long, long time, when she closed her eyes and kissed someone her body didn’t seize up. When she closed her eyes and kissed him, she didn’t think of the other kisses she had to endure rather than enjoy. When she closed her eyes and kissed him, she didn’t see Abraham. Matthew’s lips were much softer; there was nothing about him like was like Abraham, not one atom on his body. She liked it that way. And the fact that she didn’t remember her past life when it happened made it all the better for her.

Matthew, for his part, was shocked. Shocked that she, Effie Schaffer, who grew up abused in a cult and didn’t start wearing pants until just a few months ago, would do something so forward. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t want it to happen, because he did, against all of his better judgement and the rational side of his brain telling him not to. “Was that okay for you?” he asked softly.

Effie nodded. “Of course it was. I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t think it would be okay for me.”

Matthew’s word vomit got the best of him. “Do you think it—”

“Don’t talk to me like you’re my therapist please,” she said quickly. “Talk to me like you’re a guy.”

“Sorry,” he apologized quickly.

Effie looked down, suddenly nervous. She wasn’t second-guessing her decision to kiss him, but what she was doing now was wondering what Matthew thought of it. He’d kissed her back. He didn’t just stand there and take the kiss – he kissed her back. He moved his lips too. That meant something, right? “Matthew?” she finally asked, her voice soft.

“Hmm?”

“Do you like me?” she asked.

“Of course I like you, Effie.”

“No, I mean do you…do you like me. Like how boys like girls sometimes.”

Matthew looked her in the eye, his entire ego dropping to the pits of his stomach. Having the completely inability to be able to lie to her, he gave her a quick nod of the head. “Yeah, I do.”

Effie bit her bottom lip. She didn’t know a lot, but she knew this was a huge moment. But she swallowed hard, her thoughts getting the best of her. “Even after everything that happened to me?”

Matthew’s heart broke. It always did when he spoke with Effie. “Of course,” he said simply. “You’re not what happened to you. You’re so much more than that, Effie.”

Effie nodded her head. She knew that. Dr. Barlow, Levi, Jenna, Geneviève – everyone important in her life had been telling her that. She knew it was true, but she needed to hear the words from Matthew. She couldn’t just assume them. “I want to let you know that was the first time in my life that I’ve initiated…physical contact with a man,” she said quietly, her voice just above a whisper. “I did it…I did it with you because I feel comfortable with you. I wouldn’t have even thought about doing that a year ago but…but you’ve really helped me these past few months, and you make me feel so comfortable to try new things like corn dogs or kissing. Even just…you know, touching. I just want you to know that.”

Matthew nodded. This was huge. He was pretty sure he hadn’t let out a breath since her lips met his. “I hope you always feel comfortable around me.”

“I think I will,” she said, smiling slightly.

Matthew smiled. “Well, in that case, can I kiss you again?”

“No.”

Matthew chuckled to himself. Her deadpan delivery dissolved everything. She was in total control. “Fair enough.”

Effie moved to grab the forks from the drawer she was standing in front of. Before she put them on the plates, she looked up at him again. “But if I kissed you again, would you like it?”

Matthew nodded his head. “Would you?”

Effie nodded her head.

***

“What about this?” Matthew asked, pointing to a fake plant hanging from a little black pot. “Everybody loves fake plants.”

Ikea had a lot of options – too many, if Effie was being honest. But she nodded her head, and Matthew took the initiative to grab the plant and put it in the cart. There were a bunch of frames already in there, and some decorative stuff for her new place. “Matthew?” she looked up at him.

“Hmm?” he looked down.

She stood on her tip-toes and kissed him.

***

“I’ve got an Americano with room for milk for Matthew!” the barista called out, setting the drink down on the counter. Matthew approached to grab his drink, bringing it to the other station where he was able to pour in his milk and two packs of brown sugar before popping the lid on. He rejoined Effie.

“Does it feel like you’re cheating when I bring you to Starbucks?” he asked her in a light-hearted tone.

“Matthew?” she looked up at him.

“Hmm?” he was already looking down.

She stood on her tip-toes and kissed him.

***

“I think these are your best ones yet,” Matthew said through a mouth full of chocolate-dipped almond biscotti. Effie was trying out recipes. He was her unofficial-official taste-tester. The whole team was, really. And if they sold well in the coffee shop, the manager would allow her to expand. So far, so good. “I love the almond flavour. It’s there but it’s not too strong, you know?”

He watched as Effie nodded her head. “Matthew?” she asked, looking at him eye-to-eye since he was sitting down on one of the stools in her kitchen.

He knew what was coming.

She leaned forward and kissed him. His lips tasted like almonds.

***

“Are you excited for the movie?” Matthew asked as he poured the popcorn from the steaming hot bag into the bowls Effie got for them.

“Very,” she nodded. Tonight they’d be watching Emma, the 2020 movie version of Jane Austen’s classic. Effie liked to see all the amazing clothes the women used to wear. A part of her wanted to dress up like that now, but she knew she’d get stared at. The other part of her never wanted to wear a dress again if she didn’t have to. “Matthew?” she asked.

“Hmm?” he looked down at her. He knew what was coming.

She stood on her tip-toes and kissed him.

***

It was always when the two of them were alone. It never happened when she would wait for him and Levi and Jacob with Jenna and Geneviève after games. It never happened if they were ever out with a big group, or even just with Levi and Jenna. Matthew was sure Effie had told them she was kissing him – she probably told Dr. Barlow too, now that he thought about it – but nobody had ever approached him about it. “I heard you’ve been kissing Effie.”

It was always the same, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. They were alone. They were usually doing something mundane. Then Effie would ask “Matthew?” in her soft, sweet voice. He’d look down at her. She’d go on her tip-toes, and she’d kiss him.

It was always initiated by her.

***

“Can I take you out on a date?” Matthew asked one day when they were alone in her apartment.

Effie looked shocked. Surprised, even, though Matthew didn’t think the question was out of the ordinary. “You…you want to go out on a date with me?” she asked.

“Yes, of course I do,” Matthew said, wanting there to be no doubts in her mind. “You know that I like you, Effie. I think it’s something that could be really fun for you…for us.”

Effie was deep in thought – Matthew could tell. She nodded slightly. “We have been doing a lot of kissing lately…” she mused. He couldn’t help but smile, even though it faded slightly when she looked up at him nervously. “Matthew, I—I’ve never been on a date before.”

“I figured as much.”

“I mean, I—even with Abraham. He never—I mean, I was just told I was marrying him because he wanted me. I told you that. But even before that. Women couldn’t date. Nobody could—I mean most couples were just thrust together, but—but—women weren’t even allowed in the same room alone with the opposite sex because we’d tempt them.”

“I know Effie, it’s okay,” he said softly. “Listen, if you’re scared or nervous or not ready, we don’t have to. But you know that I like you. And I know you like me too. It’s what people do when they like each other. So if you’ll let me, we could go out for dinner or something. Nothing too big or fancy. Just a dinner.”

If she went on a date with Matthew, Effie would be giving a giant middle finger to her past. She would be asserting her agency in making her own choices. She’d be doing something she wasn’t allowed to do for eighteen years of her life. It was an action of justice at its very core – going on a date with a boy because she liked him and found him attractive. She wasn’t even allowed to touch other men besides her husband less than two years ago because of his abusive and totalitarian “sermons”. She remembered back to her begging to her mother not to get married at fourteen and her mother refusing to listen to her. Here was Matthew saying “If you’re scared or nervous or not ready, we don’t have to.”

Effie nodded her head. “I want to go out on a date with you.”

Matthew smiled bashfully. He was sure his cheeks were going to turn red like some sort of teenager. “What kind of food d’you wanna eat?”

***

“How’d you get that shiner, buddy?” Sean asked.

“I’m not gonna talk about it,” Matthew mumbled.

***

“What the hell happened to you?” Johnny asked the moment he saw him in the locker room.

“I’m not gonna talk about it,” Matthew mumbled.

***

Mark Giordano was not happy to see one of his star players show up to the arena with a black eye. But he didn’t want to confront Matthew in a full locker room, so he waited until there was only a few people around – and even then, they were far away enough that he knew they wouldn’t really pick up on the conversation. “What the fuck happened to your eye?” Mark asked, approaching Matthew

“I’m not gonna talk about it,” Matthew mumbled, not even looking at his captain.

Mark furrowed his eyebrows. There had to be something, a clue of some sort, to help him get to the bottom of this. It was nobody’s birthday, so Matthew hadn’t gone out to a bar. He didn’t get into a fight or scuffle on the ice that was too bad, so it couldn’t have been that either. But then Mark remembered. “I thought you spent time with Effie last ni—”

“I said I’m not gonna talk about it!” Matthew hissed as he got up abruptly, stomping away and leaving the room.

Mark took a deep breath in, putting his hands on his hips. Kids. He had to get to the bottom of this. It was in his nature. And as captain, he took his role seriously. He needed to make sure his teammates were okay. The media was definitely going to pick up on the black eye, and they’d need a good cover. He left the locker room, following the path Matthew took, knowing he was probably letting off some steam in an empty trainer’s room. Mark popped his head into two of them before finding Matthew in a third, facing away from the door and taping his stick. Mark knew Matthew heard him walk in and shut the door behind him, but Matthew didn’t turn around.

“Sit,” Mark said sternly.

Matthew took a deep breath in but did as he was told. He wasn’t going to defy Mark – he respected him way too much. And he knew he had out let out the steam by telling someone, and Mark was probably the best person to tell.

Mark sat down casually beside him, hunched over with his elbows on his knees so it looked like they were about to have a casual conversation, just in case anyone else barged in. “Tell me what happened.”

Matthew took a deep breath. “I took her out on a date last night.”

“Effie.”

“Yeah,” Matthew nodded slightly. “And it was nice. We went to a really nice Italian restaurant downtown. She was having so much fun. And she came back to my place and—”

“Please don’t tell me—”

“No no—it wasn’t—no,” he emphasized. “I might be an idiot but I’m not that much of an idiot.”

“You can’t fault me for thinking it.”

Matthew shook his head. “She came back to my place and I guess—well, I guess because the whole thing was so new for her, it was mentally exhausting. She sorta kept saying how tired she was. I told her she could stay over. And it was fine. We were just sleeping in the same bed.”

“And then?”

Matthew grumbled. “And then I moved.”

There was a pause. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

***

“I’m so sorry,” Effie whispered through tears, looking at Matthew’s back as he sat on the edge of the bed, pressing a bag of frozen peas against his face.

The entire night had been lovely. She’d felt so good, and so comfortable, and so normal. The food was delicious. The walk through the park was magical. The thing’s they’d talked about ran through her mind the entire night. They hadn’t stopped talking. They’d gone back to his place. She was tired. He suggested she stay over, knowing Levi wouldn’t mind. She agreed. She borrowed an old t-shirt and shorts. They’d fallen asleep in his bed. And it was lovely.

And then at some point, in the middle of the night, with Effie’s back facing Matthew as he switched positions in his sleep, all she felt was a body pressing up against her slightly. So she did the only thing she needed to do.

She punched him. Hard.

She hit between his eye and nose. A loud “FUCK!” escaped him after the sound of skin hitting skin permeated through his bedroom. Her body seized up and, like countless times before, she jumped out of bed. When she turned around to look down at the bed, Matthew was clutching his eye in pain. It was then that she realized just that – it was Matthew. It wasn’t Abraham.

“M—M—Matthew,” she stuttered out.

“What the fuck, Effie?!” his temper got the best of him.

“M—Matthew—I—I thought—Abraham—I thought you were Abraham—”

With his one clear eye, he looked at her. His chest was heaving. But he didn’t say anything. His shoulders slumped slightly. And without saying anything, he got up out of the bed and walked out of the room.

Effie immediately dropped to her knees on the bed. It’s what she would have done before, to ask for forgiveness for denying her husband satisfaction whenever and wherever he wanted it. But now, in the new world, in her new world, it wasn’t like that. She didn’t have to repent for her sin. It didn’t have to be that way. Abraham wasn’t in bed with her. It was Matthew. Sweet, soft, rough around the edges Matthew.

She started crying. She couldn’t believe that she’d just done that to him. She cried so hard she didn’t even realize he’d come back into the room quietly, with a bag of peas pressed against his face where she’d punched him.

After she apologized, and he said nothing, she crawled over to him, the last of her tears spilling over her cheeks. She lay her hand on his back. “Matthew—”

He flinched at her touch. She recoiled her hand back so quickly she didn’t know she could move that fast. Her heart tightened in her chest, knowing she’d just caused him – and was continuing to cause him – such physical pain, when all he’d given her over the last few months was patience and support.

Matthew heard her sharp intake of breath when he flinched. He didn’t mean to flinch – really – he just didn’t expect her to touch him after she’d just punched his face for brushing up against her. He took a few deep breaths to control his emotions before he looked behind him, seeing her tear-stained face looking at him.

When he saw the lingering fear in her eyes, he couldn’t be angry.

***

Matthew played his hockey game, and he managed to score a goal and record an assist, but after the game, his mind was somewhere else. Effie hadn’t shown up to the game; she wasn’t waiting with Jenna and Geneviève, and Jenna told him she was tired from work which is why she stayed home. He needed to talk to her. Needed to talk to her. But he didn’t know how, and he didn’t know what to do.

Jacob, Geneviève, Levi, and Jenna all left early, leaving him to go home alone. He trudged down the hallway and took the elevator to the parking garage, his feet dragging on the concrete and he walked with his head down, a storm forming in his mind about what he was going to do.

“Matthew?” he heard a soft voice.

He shot his head up. For a second he thought he was hallucinating, or some sort of mirage, but no – Effie was in the parking garage, standing right next to his car. He had no idea how she got in but at this point he didn’t really care. All he cared about was that she was there. He rushed over to her as quickly as his legs would take him. “You’re here,” he said, once he got close to her. Her face was red and blotchy. He hated seeing it like that. It reminded him of the incident in the washroom. “What’s going on?”

“I spent the whole day crying thinking about what I did to you,” she said, her voice sounding like she was on the verge of tears again.

“Effie, I told you it was alri—”

“It’s not alright, Matthew,” she asserted. He’d said it all last night while she was profusely apologizing, but she didn’t believe him. He’d said it up until she was picked up by a taxi to be taken back to her place. He’d begged her to stay. She couldn’t see how she could when she’d just punched him in the face. “I wish you would stop saying that. I hit you. I gave you a black eye. Nothing about that is alright—”

“Effie—”

“I just—I thought you were Abraham because he’d do that a lot and—because I would always try to say no otherwise, and so he had to get me at a point where—”

“EFFIE,” he said loudly, over her frantic voice, and she stopped immediately. They stared at each other for a few moments in pure silence before Effie could feel Matthew’s hands grab hers. He pulled her towards him and wrapped his arms around her tightly, and she nestled her face into his chest and inhaled his scent. A wave of peace flowed throughout her body. He hadn’t asked to touch her, but at the same time, she hadn’t flinched. His touch was so…so pure and so soft – so unlike anything else she’d felt before – that there was no reason to flinch or be scared. His hands wouldn’t hurt her like other hands had. She realized this, inhaling his scent one more time. He wouldn’t hurt her.

When he released the hug, she brought her own hands up to cradle his face. His facial hair was a bit rough against her skin, but it was still the softest she’d ever felt on a man. Maybe it was because he always gave her butterflies. Maybe it was something else. “You’re so soft, Matthew…” her voice was barely above a whisper.

“What’s that mean?” he asked, his voice equally as low. “I’m not soft.”

“Yes, you are. You are for me,” she clarified. “You’re the softest man I’ve ever felt. I don’t want that to change.”

He realized what she meant now. It hit him like a ton of bricks, like most things did with Effie. “It won’t,” he asserted. “You can count on me.”

“I know I can,” she nodded her head.

Matthew couldn’t take it anymore. They couldn’t continue this in the parking garage. “Can I take you back to my place again and we can talk? Properly?”

Effie nodded her head.

***

Matthew let Effie roam in his kitchen while he changed out of his suit into some comfier clothes. When he emerged from his room, Effie was sitting on his couch – just like she had been last night – a glass of water in her hand, sipping from it delicately. He knew she’d end up back on his couch since she had commented last night how big and comfy it was. Matthew didn’t even know where it was from – it came with the apartment. But ever since she’d sat on it and made the comment, he found it comfier.

He walked over to her slowly, and she watched him, not saying a word. Instead of taking a seat beside her, he knelt in front of her, between her legs. He was still almost at eye level with her. Boldly, he took the glass of water out of her hand and set it down on the coffee table. He grabbed her hands in his and rubbed the backs of her hands with his thumb tenderly. “Can I ask you a question?” he asked.

“Of course.”

“What happened that night? After you punched Abraham?”

Effie was silent for a moment. “I…I—I got pregnant.”

The words stabbed Matthew in the heart. He squeezed her hands to let go of some pain, and she squeezed back. “I’m so sorry for what I did, Effie—”

“You have nothing to apologize about,” she said. “You did nothing wrong.”

“But I scared you. And I promised I’d never do that. And it brought up bad memories…”

Effie was shaking her head. “You didn’t scare me. My mind did. My mind thought you were Abraham. But you’re the farthest thing from him, Matthew, and you need to know that. You don’t scare me at all. Not even a bit. Not like Abraham scared me.”

Matthew bit his tongue so he could feel some pain and keep himself from crying. To think about how she was so scared for eighteen years of her life, and now she wasn’t, and part of that was because he was around, helping her feel comfortable…he couldn’t have asked for anything more. He knew he shouldn’t feel guilty for what happened, especially since Effie was telling him what she was telling him, but he knew he would for a while. It’d take him a while to get over it. “When we went on the date…did you—I mean, did you just do it because you felt like you had to? Because you had to experience a first date to be normal or whatever? Or did you actually want to?” he asked.

“I actually wanted to,” she said without hesitation. Matthew could feel his heart beating in his chest. “I wanted to, and with you. Not with another guy and not with, like, Sean or whatever,” she said, and it made Matthew break out into a smirk. “It was you. And even though…I mean—I mean I think we could…and we would…” she tried to formulate her thought into coherent words.

“But I don’t know if we should,” he finished her sentence.

Effie nodded. “At least not yet. I’m not—I’m not mentally there yet. I’m not ready. And it wouldn’t be fair to bring you along so closely with something I know I’m not ready for. There’s so much I still need to learn…about, well…everything.”

Matthew nodded his head. He understood completely. “You know that I never expected anything, right?” he asked.

“Oh, of course not,” she said like it was the obscenest idea in the world. She knew Matthew would never expect that of her. “I think what’ll be good is you going home during the summer, and me starting my course in June…and by the time you come back in September, you might even see a brand new me.”

Matthew couldn’t help but smile at that. He rubbed the backs of her hands with his thumbs again. “You’re already a brand new person, Effie. When I come back you’ll just be wiser. Do you promise to message me on Instagram about everything you learn and the stuff you experience?”

Effie nodded her head, a smile adorning her face now. “Matthew?” she asked after a moment of silence.

This time, he looked up at her. He knew what was coming.

This time, she didn’t need to stand on her tip-toes. All she had to do was lean forward and kiss him.

313 notes · View notes

lebenspurpur · 3 years

Note

hi!! i love your blog! could you do an nsfw alphabet for amanda young, please??

Thank you :>

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Amanda really has to grow used to take care of someone. She's been alone for a long time and therefore didn't have a lot of aftercare to do.

She's surprisingly good at being tender and caring. That's an even bigger astonishment for herself, after all, she thinks she's this evil, bad person.

She's very good at stitching people up so when something gets out of hand (or it doesn't and you're just hardcore), she's going to treat you fast and efficiently.

If you've earned her trust, she also won't say no to cuddling afterward. Amanda finds a lot of peace in your warm body pressed against hers, arms enveloping you tightly.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Her favorite body part on her own body are her arms. Amanda is surprisingly strong and it comes to good use when she's trying to please you.

Her favorite body part on you is your mouth. The acts of pleasure your lips and tongue are capable of are endless and Amanda loves it.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Amanda loves when you come on her tongue. There's something very pleasing about it to her.

Otherwise, she doesn't think about cum all that much. It's a normal thing, something that she doesn't really think about.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

This shouldn't really be a surprise but Amanda has her own "traps" for sex. She won't talk about them unless she has to punish you.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Amanda has experience but her past lovers weren't really good lovers. Therefore, her idea of sex is not the best so the first time you two hook up, she's quite astonished herself.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

She likes when you're on top of her, hands on either side of your hips as she admires your body in its glory. It doesn't matter if she's sitting up or not either, she just likes the feeling of you on top of her.

But really, anything will do as long as she has a little bit of control.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Amanda is usually serious but she can be quite sarcastic.

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

She doesn't have time to shave. And before she met you, she didn't even have a reason.

Amanda doesn't have a lot of body hair but it's quite thick.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Amanda is a little bit scared of intimacy and romance. Until now, those feelings only hurt her.

As soon as she trusts you, sex is one of her more intimate moments. She likes to whisper praises, I love you's, and other sweet things into your ear during your orgasm. A reminder of her feelings.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Amanda only really masturbates when it's absolutely necessary and she has time to do it. So not really often.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Bondage, overstimulation, and sensory deprivation are some of her favorites.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the "do")

Everywhere except any place, John could come in. Which aren't a lot considering that man is on the brink of death.

The bed will always be her number one but really, get her horny and she'll take you wherever you're standing.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Little sweet actions. Holding her hand. Kissing her palms. Complimenting her. Buying a gift for her.

Amanda is touch and affection starved and she gets riled up when she receives any.

Also, wearing revealing clothing can do the trick.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

Amanda hates, and I mean loathes, not having any control. Nothing makes her panic more, even if she trusts you.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Amanda loves receiving as much as giving. She doesn't have a preference at all.

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Amanda usually likes rough, longer sessions that leave you tired and bruised.

When she's emotional, one sensual round is also enough to please her.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Amanda loves quickies, due to her relatively busy schedule. She always makes time for some, if you're down for it.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Amanda is all for risks, but only if you respect her absolute no's.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Amanda, though a former drug addict, has some stamina. She might not be able to go forever but it's enough to make you beg for her to stop.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Amanda owns a shit ton of sex toys of every kind. It's like she's collecting them.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Amanda is quite unfair. Teasing you makes her feel really dominant and also proud that she's the one in control.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Amanda is more on the quiet side but as soon as she lets down her guard, she moans shamelessly.

Otherwise, she talks a lot. Praising, cursing, she'll never shut up.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Amanda likes biting until she draws blood. Or until you draw blood. She doesn't care who bites whom.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture, or words)

TW Body image, scars, and all that shit

Amanda is pretty muscular. She might not look like it but that's because her muscles come from hard work, not hours of workouts.

She's pretty skinny due to not eating a lot. You can definitely see her ribs shine beneath her pale skin.

Very beautiful breasts, I imagine. Kind of small but with pretty, dark nipples.

Skinny, pale legs, painted with scars. Her labia is a dark red that looks very aesthetically pleasing compared to her white skin.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Amanda's sex drive is a little bit higher than average. It also really depends on her schedule and whether she has time or not.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Amanda takes a while to fall asleep. Calming down is something she struggles with so she prefers to cuddle, admire your sleeping body, before she rests herself.

#amanda young #amanda young x reader #saw franchise #saw #saw 3 #amanda young headcanons #slasher x reader #slashers #horror x reader #horror

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teacupcollector · 3 years

Text

The Undead Kind of Love: Part 1

Main Masterlist Series Masterlist

Pairing: Vampire Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: When Y/N’s art project lands her in Romania she is met with very peculiar circumstances. Such as a weird old man speaking mythical nonsense, murders of both people and animals, an oncoming threat to her life, as well as her mysterious yet very hot next door neighbor with a weird obsession with beetroot juice.

You came to the Romanian capital for your college class. Your major was in Art History and you found that throughout your class you enjoyed different types of Folk Art and you enjoyed Romanian Folk Art the most. So you decided to sign a slip to study abroad to a country of your choosing and so you chose Romania. You were tasked to study the art and make your own as well as write an essay on the culture you encountered on your trip. So here you are, in Bucharest sitting at a small park bench, food in hand which had a beautiful view of ‘The Arch of Triumph’ You had your small notepad that you use to take notes on what you see for your essay but as of right now you are doodling with the infamous arch way as the sole subject. As you finished your food you begin to pack up and put your pencil and notebook away then stand up. Your next stop was the “Dimitrie Gusti National Village Museum” It is about a seven minute walk from where you are now so you begin your journey.

With your backpack over your shoulder you begin your seven minute trek when something caught your ear. It was coming from ahead of you as you make your way to the entrance of the museum. “Pleacă de aici (Go away!)” A man cried. He seemed out of his mind! He was yelling and touching patrons in an effort to diverge them away from somewhere. “trebuie să pleci acum (You must leave now!)” You weren’t sure of what to do so you just stood there staring. That was your first mistake. He immediately made eye contact with you and charged in your direction. He was spitting nonsense and you couldn’t understand what he was saying. “Părăsi! Părăsi! (Leave! Leave!)” You understand that word so as you go through your imaginary index cards you have for the Romanian language you ask “De ce? (Why?)” The man seemed confused at what you were asking. “Mort! (Dead!)” You look at him even more confused and he sighs angrily “Vampire! Here Vampire!” You look shocked. You knew this man was crazy but not this crazy! He begins to grab on to your arm in a firm grip when he is suddenly ripped off of you. “Destul! (Enough!)” You see a pair of what looked like officers pulling the man away from you. “Atenție! ( Be careful!)” The man cries. “nu ieși noaptea! (Don’t go out at night!)” The police officers are taking him away in the direction of the main road. “Morții merg pe timp de noapte (The dead walk at night!) That was the last words you heard until he was out of ear shot. A wave of strangeness incased your entire body. You felt uncomfortable so you decided to leave. ‘I’ll come here some other time...’ You think to yourself as you find yourself walking back toward the main road and away from the museum and the woods that surrounded it.

Your walk home was unnerving. You wouldn’t say you were a paranoid person or even a believer in the paranormal but the man did strike a fear in you. You use to love vampires when you were a kid. You dressed up as one for three years straight for Halloween. You went through that weird Twilight phase of putting dots of sharpie on your neck and drinking red Kool-Aid in middle school. To say you weren’t a vampire fan would be a lie but that man seemed to know more. I mean you are in Romania so it is to be expected? You sigh as you get closer and closer to your apartment complex. Your backpack seems to be getting heavier with each step you took up the stairs. You enter an outdoor hallway that is connected to the stairs you just went up and look back to the world behind you. As the chill of the Autumn air sets in and you shiver. You turn to your door and take out your keys that were provided for you by the school.

As you jiggle the lock you hear a door open next to you. You look to your left and see a man step out. He is wearing a brownish leather jacket and a red shirt underneath. He has a cap on top of his head as his umber brown hair surrounds his face. His side profile was a chefs kiss. He had a well defined jawline accompanied with just the right amount of facial hair from what you could see his face stood stern and unmoving until they landed on you. He had equally stern baby blue eyes as he stared into you (E/C) ones. His eyes seem to have a storm behind them. He had an intimidating look to him and the air around him was intense. You felt like you couldn’t breath. His eyes were like a black hole and they were sucking you in but you weren’t sure if you wanted to escape. That brief moment felt like a life time as you are swallowed by those broken eyes. He just looks at you and walks away.

When you got inside you decided to do a little research. Your roommate has yet to return so you decided to use their computer. You go to the local online news paper and begin to look at some articles. You go to the settings in the corner of the screen and hit the translate button. As the site reloads you begin to read. Multiple headlines flash across the screen as you scroll until a specific one catches your eye. “Local Farmer Finds Cattle Slaughtered” You scroll down to see pictures of said cattle. They are strangely skinny and their eyes are sunken in, there is a chunk of meat missing on a few parts of its body -mainly around the neck area- Scrolling down more you see the museum you were suppose to go to. There was a picture of the man you encountered holding onto somebody. Looking closely you can see that it is you! You didn’t realize that you were being photographed. Luckily it was of the back of your head so no one saw your face, but it would be a cool story to tell to your friend later. As you continue to stare at the man you decide to do even more digging. You decide to look up vampires and the influence they have in this culture. What you found was interesting but you weren’t sure if it was accurate. Then again how can something mythical be accurate? You decided to write down the name of a library that is close to your apartment complex and head there tomorrow. You decide to exit and shut off the computer putting it back on the coffee table where it belongs. You get up and decide to see what you have in the fridge. Turns out there was a whole lot of nothing. ‘I really need to go to the market tomorrow...’ You think to yourself as you reach for your phone looking at different take out places. You choose the type of food you wish to eat and made sure to write down the pronunciation of each items on the menu so you can be sure to say it correctly to the best of your abilities. By the time you are done ordering your roommate walks in and gives you a small wave. You wave back to them before continuing to wait for your food. You look out the sliding door of your balcony to see the sky is pitch black. You feel a shiver go up your spine and make your way to the sliding door and shutting the blinds. You take a few steps back and calm your breathing. You don’t know why you feel so worked up over nothing but you guess that your paranoia is getting the best of you. You walk to your roommates room and knock on the door. You hear a quiet ‘come in’ so you open the door. “Hey I just wanted to let you know that I got us some food and it will be here soon.” They smile and nod and you exit the room shutting it behind you. You don’t know how long it has been but you started dozing off on the couch when you heard a knock on the door. You quickly get your wallet and approach the door opening it. You expected your food to be here. What you didn’t expect is the person holding your food in their hands. “Oh it’s you!” You exclaim making the man you saw earlier today flinch. You blush red in embarrassment. “Sorry Uh-” You begin to try and speak some Romanian but the man cuts you off. “Your food got delivered to my place...” You look even more shocked. “Oh right. I’m so sorry!” You pop your head around the corner of the door way looking for the delivery person. “Where did they go?” You ask looking up at him. “They left...” He murmurs. “They wouldn’t have left without payment... Did you pay for my food?” You ask suddenly feeling guilty. He nods. “Why don’t you come i-” “No it’s fine.” He says holding out the bag of food to you. You look between him and the food. As you look closely you can see his hand. His hands look tough, fingernails are well kept with veins protruding and leading up his arm, but the thing that caught your eye the most was how his fingertips and some of his hand was stained red. “Is that your blood!? Are you okay? Did you hurt you hand?” You ask taking the food in which he takes his hand and wipes it on his jeans even though there is no liquid on it. What ever it was you hoped it wasn’t blood because it must have been there for a while to have stained it. “No I didn’t hurt my hand. I spilled some beet root juice.” He says quietly. “Oh... Okay...” You say slightly weirded out. “Well good night.” He says before walking away. You are stood there for a moment before you call out “Good night! How do I-” You hear the sound of his apartment door slamming shut. You were debating on going over there to say something but your thoughts were interrupted by your roommate calling out to you. “Hey what are you doing with the door wide open? Is the food here?” She asks and you sigh “Yeah I’m coming in.” You say as you step back into the apartment and shut the door. A/N: I used Google Translate for the Romanian So I’m sorry if it is off. A/N: This story is for a writing challenge hosted by @lokithealligator A/N: The bolded words is number 46 in a prompt list made by @pitaparka -Please check both of them out they are amazing!

#eventual fluff #eventual angst #eventual bucky x reader #vampire bucky barnes #vampire bucky x reader #college reader #strange bucky #strangers to lovers #slow burn #writing challenge #halloween #halloween writing challenge

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abellaheart-blog · 2 years

Text

“I’ll Love You Always” (Nana Shimura x Female Sidekick Reader)

Summary: Becoming a pro hero was not in your agenda until one day when you’re faced against a murderous man assaulting a woman. After defeating him you become involved with a famous pro hero. One you end up working with.

Author Note: At the time of writing this Nana's hero name isn't known yet so in this story her hero name will be, "One for all". This was originally made for a writing contest. I did some major editing to this, so I hope you enjoy the story.

Word Count: 8k

Your role as a sidekick to the number one hero in the entire world didn't start out so soon in your career. You've been a pro hero since your late teens at the tender age of nineteen which was shortly after you graduated high school. Becoming a full time super hero wasn't in your agenda until you turned eighteen. College proved to be very hard for you and you weren't happy with the path you chose for your education. You dropped out of school to work until you figured out what path you would want for your future. One day after work you were taking out the trash when you heard someone screaming in the same alley you were taking out the trash in.

Investigating you found a woman getting mugged by a villain. You recognized him from television he is known as "Igneous" he is known for his dangerous magma quirks. He can control lava and create it from the tips of his fingers. You're not sure what his other abilities are but you know this couldn't be good. You may not be a hero but you can't let this man hurt this defenseless woman. This villain is known for touching woman inappropriately as well. He's done so to many victims and female heroes. He is widely labeled as a pervert. You grab a crowbar in the back already having a plan to save this woman. You sneak behind a nearby dumpster kneeling down while you wait for an opening. You must be extra careful because the alley is so thin. Luckily it's filled with dirt and trash so you can go undetected. You use your quirk, "Five senses" to listen to this creep carefully.

"Don't worry we are all alone. I won't harm you. Be nice and quiet and you'll be rewarded."

"Please don't touch me! You can have my purse! You can have anything just leave me alone!"

The woman is in tears as this man holds her by the neck lifting her off the ground while she keeps begging. The young woman is strawberry blonde with long locks of curls her outfit consists of a white short sleeve shirt, skinny jeans, and pink high heels. This man grunts in anger pushing her up against the dirty brick wall. She screams in pain from the force put on her tiny back. You look at the man waiting for him to have his guard down. It appears he must've done this before because he is very aware of his surroundings. You can easily tell with your quirk since your super human hearing can pick up on his eyeballs shifting side to side. His outfit is really weird to you since it's new. It honestly wasn't what you were expecting for a magma quirk user. He wears baggy gray cargo pants and a red top, his hands have red leather fingerless gloves while his face is covered with a weird looking blocky mask made of stone. His cheek bones have what appears to be patches of rock growing out of them. His eyes are a glowing orange adding to his already creepy appearance. Finally his hair is a spiky orange sticking up in short waves. You lift up the crowbar getting ready to strike.

"Shut up!! I'll take your purse no doubt about it but I want more from you, hottie." He licks his lips laughing.

While he is laughing you immediately put your plan in action hitting him in the back of the head as hard as you can. He grunts in pain turning around but its too late you use your other quirk to punch this man in the face. You can visibly see his face pressing in as if it were dough. You knew he wouldn't be able to handle such a blow. He is thrown into the brick wall to the right side of the alley where his body left a big indent after he fell to the ground. His nose is broken, bruised, and bloody from your quirk "air punch" an ability allowing you to throw punches kilometers away. Close range is perfect for offense and you make sure to hold back so you didn't kill the harasser. He didn't get back up. His body is left on the ground. You know he wouldn't be waking up for at least a couple hours. The woman looks at you with relief she then took notice of your uniform for the nearby convenience store.

"Sorry I didn't save you sooner I had to catch him when his guard was down. I'm glad I heard you two when I did."

"Don't apologize you saved me! Thank you, thank you!!" She said with tears of joy.

You led her into the store where you told your manager what happened. You two phoned the police immediately while the woman was given a drink to relax. She had bruising on her back while her neck was sore she didn't have any serious injuries thankfully. The police arrived shortly arresting the villain on the spot. They couldn't believe you defeated such a well known villain. You explained everything to them since you know the law very well. You made sure they knew it was all in self defense since you're not a pro hero. The next day it was all over the news that a citizen defeated him, putting him behind bars. A news reporter went as far as wanting an interview with you but you didn't want the villain knowing your identity. Too bad for you because the blonde you rescued chose to talk about you. She mentioned you live on the news thanking you. She spoke so highly of you that it didn't matter she gave away your full name. It was embarrassing dealing with people who stopped by the convenience store after the publicity you gained. Everyone kept calling you a hero and complimenting you. It was a bit much since you're not used to attention. It wouldn't be until weeks after you'd really regret your identity on the news because Igneous escaped jail with revenge in mind.

One night after a long shift you're walking home. You pass by a huge construction site walking calmly on the sidewalk. Eager to arrive home you're pace is quick but you're in for a big shock when the wooden fence next to you is blown up. You fall to the ground looking up to see splats of lava while tiny flames are left on what is left of the fence. Nearby Igneous stood in a orange prison jump suit with his hair resembling a lava lamp. He is shirtless so the orange sleeves are tied around his waist while his thick boots stomp loudly as he walks closer to you. His eyes glow with fires of vengeance. His wicked grin is eager to kill you but you also notice lust. You swallow hard wondering how you could defend yourself from such a menacing villain his quirk would allow him to kill you easily. You feel as good as dead since he has killed plenty of heroes in the past. He began laughing upon noticing your terrified gaze.

"What's wrong? I thought you were a hero? You're not going to send me behind bars again? Why not try punching my face? I promise I'll like it this time. I love playing rough."

His finger tips have drops of lava leaving them while he laughed some more. You stand back up knowing you could easily escape but this man would easily put others in danger by melting buildings or even pedestrians. You're no coward either but you must find a way of defeating him so he doesn't find you again. Another good punch could knock him out again. Your abilities are stronger than this man believes and you'll prove it. You give him a death glare letting him know he should kindly turn away.

"You know what you did was wrong. You left me no choice if I wasn't going to turn you in I know you would try killing me. Leave me alone or I'll knock you out again."

"Gahaha! Don't get cocky! After one punch you honestly think you can defeat me?! Look at you! You're a tiny girl with no experience! If you give up now I won't kill you." He licked his lips again scanning your body up and down.

His intentions with you are clear, he wasn't looking to kill you. This sick twisted man desired to torture you he knew it would be more fulfilling to him.

"I'm not a hero but I'm also not defenseless either. I won't allow you to go around hurting others ever again. Hero or not."

"Then give it your best shot! I'll let you give the first hit!" He shouts with his arms wide open.

You extend your arm out with a fist. You gently give a punch to the air aiming in his direction. He took notice of wind blowing around him from the force of your punch but it did nothing to him at least not yet. He begins laughing in amusement until finally he his flung in the air a moment later. He hits a nearby scissor lift. His chest unaffected as he bent the poor thing in half from both the landing and his quirk. The metal slowly melts as his 'hair' and finger tips drip more lava onto the construction equipment.

"Guess you're stronger than I expected. Don't worry I'm not an easy opponent, sweetheart." He said while wiping blood off the corner of his lip.

"I won't go easy on you. Give up now or I'll have to use more force."

He ignored your words choosing to jump toward you as he shot lava at you. You're already prepared for the attack thanks to your "five senses" quirk. You dodge the second he shot at you. He also wasn't expecting such reflexes. He doesn't know your quirks so it may give you an upper hand. You punch the air again but in a new stance. One that made your muscles flex when you punch the air again. He saw them coming so he kept dodging them as you sent waves of punches that kept hitting different areas of the construction site. You could see he was surprised you destroyed the equipment with little effort. You're definitely holding back but it didn't matter to him. He had his fingers shoot out lava in a huge burst so he can hurl himself high in the air. Perfect, he doesn't know it but your "air punch" quirk can shoot up to one kilometer. An impressive distance due to training and being in top shape. The distance will depend on your stamina if you don't have enough energy the distance will become short. So short it will become as minuscule as a couple feet long. You send another punch in the air despite him being about twelve feet in the air. He is thrown into the construction building crashing into all kinds of different equipment yet again. Bruises cover his arms and cheeks. He stood up clutching his right arm with malice written across his face. He threw clumps of lava at you in groups knowing you couldn't possibly evade.

"Magma Burst!!"

Using fifth senses again you put your enhanced eyesight and hearing to good use in order to dodge the lava puddles thrown at you. You continue throwing punches but this time with more force. The lava is thrown back thanks to sheer force. After evading you punch at the construction building causing him to fall. He propels himself back in the air as if he were a rocket. His destructive quirk causes the dirt on the ground to create craters while surrounding the area almost as if it were puddles of mud. Construction equipment is melting away while steam appears disintegrating into the air. The air you're breathing is becoming hazardous from the small flames in the area. Igneous began laughing while you used your powers to aim directly where he will be. Catching him midair he is thrown back into metal beams. While he is about to get back up you hit him with another air punch but this time it's surrounded with waves of blue. His body bumps into more beams bending them while he is shouting in agony. Once more did the trick and he was left on the ground defenseless. You take this moment to look at your surroundings the flames in the area from his quirk will create a huge fire. Igneous began laughing his sadistic eyes glow as he spoke to you in panted breathes.

"Run if you want but I'll escape again. Mark my words I will have my way with you and I will make sure you regret ever putting me in prison."

You don't know how to respond until out of no where another voice replies for you. The both of you look over to see a hero none of you would expect at such a time. A tall woman with a strong built known as "One for all". You felt so lucky she arrived when she did because there is no way this guy could defeat the number one hero. Igneous had eyes filled with fear witnessing such a hero standing before him with a huge smile on her face.

"I see you're busy here, Igneous. Escaping prison and harming a girl are you?"

Igneous felt his throat dry with a gulp. He looks over to you figuring he will possibly get away if he were to catch you off guard and hold you as a hostage. He underestimated the both of you as the heroine kicked him in the chest after you dodged his hands. She was impressed with such reflexes. She could tell you were ready to punch him if necessary. Igneous fell to the ground once more groaning in pain. He knew his body is covered in bruises thanks to you. He looks up, not quite ready to give up yet. One for all slung you over her shoulder while she jumps a safe distance from the magma user. He felt his face red with anger for ruining his revenge.

"Damn you!! She was the one who placed me in that hell hole!! Get back here!! Get back here before I kill you both!!" He yells with a deep growl of vengeance.

One for all placed you back onto the ground she gets a better look at you recognizing you from the news. She could tell you were fighting Igneous based on your sweaty work uniform. It wasn't safe to be fighting him, not with the air filled with fire fumes.

"Stay here and contact the officials. I'll have him brought to justice again."

Her eyes are filled with confidence. She gave a great leap toward the villain, punching him. When he hits another beam she took notice of a broken beam on the ground instantly picking it up. His quirk is dangerous so she would need a form of defense. It seems as though she isn't the only one with a form of defense. Igneous stood up laughing maniacally while his body became covered in rock growing out from his skin. It's an armor of rocks forming protection. His glowing orange eyes look over to you with sadistic joy.

"I underestimated you! Now I know I'll have to take you seriously! I won't give you another chance to hurt me! After I defeat this broad I'll have you all to myself, sexy!"

His laughter continued until he is hit with a metal beam. The pro hero wasn't happy with his inappropriate words toward you.

"If you think I'll give you that chance you're sorely mistaken."

"Show me what you got! After I'm done with her you're next!"

You made a call to nine-one-one immediately before witnessing their fight. You couldn't help staying. What if his lava quirk manages to harm her? You won't be in the way either, not when you're able to punch in such a long distance. You use your super human eye sight to look for an opening to accurately hit him if necessary. She is number one hero but it didn't mean this crook wouldn't play dirty. He kept shooting lava hoping to injure her anyway he could. He couldn't land one hit so he brings out another ability the both of you didn't know. From his hand he commands something to rise from the ground. The both of you see a mini volcano on the ground. Its at this point an eruption shot out the mini mountain allowing for him to control the lava. You and one for all are thinking of any possible solutions for defeating him. You come to an important realization.

"I can't allow him to hurt the innocent any longer! He has plenty of victims whom he has killed and tortured! If it continues it could ruin lives! Death or not his intentions with me and the blonde woman were clear. He could continue to hurt others. Possibly killing more heroes all who sacrifice so much to save the world. I won't let him! It's up to me! I'm the only one that has the power to defeat him!" You think to yourself knowing exactly what you will tell him.

"I can't allow you to kill and torture anymore victims! Heroes stand tall as a hope to make sure the world is a better place! If you go around killing them it gives us no hope in such a big and dangerous world. We can believe in a better world where heroes exist!"

"You're naïve if you think the world will become a better place. Heroes can turn evil and crime will always exist. You're living in a dream world if you think a world filled with peace exists."

"You're wrong! They're the answer to the sick sad world you believe in! That's why heroes exist! So we can keep believing! So they can give hope for a better world!"

You decide enough is enough and make a stance with both feet planted firmly apart. You held your head up high giving two solid blows to the air directed to your heated target.

"Kilometer shot!!" You shout being sure to hit him with only half your power. Any more would be too much for him to handle.

Your punches hit him with a force sending him flying up in the sky. It was beautiful. The blue waves that surround his body were a sight to see. It was hard to believe they could inflict pain. Igneous could be heard screaming from the sky. His body ached with such pain he was ready to faint from all the intense pain. He is hundreds of feet in the sky with such power you inflicted upon him. You knew it wasn't your place to hit him but if one for all continued fighting him she would've possibly been hit with lava. Something you couldn't bare witnessing to such an accomplished hero. You look over to her thinking she will lecture you but upon her face is a great smile. She gets ready to catch Igneous who already fainted midair. His body is no longer covered in rocky armor and his quirk is no longer a threat. She leaps into the air jumping several feet high as if she would jump over a skyscraper. She caught him. Placing his limp body around her shoulders as she is landing onto the ground in a huge crash. It created a small crater around her feet. She placed him onto the ground then quickly cast her eyes on you. You didn't know it but earlier while you were talking to Igneous about heroes she was impressed. She takes pride in protecting others. She was touched by your sense of justice. She never heard someone speak about heroes in such a way. Not to a villain that is. Many would think you're wasting your time talking to Igneous but she didn't think so. She could tell you meant your words with every inch of your being. All of which she admired.

"Your name is Y/n correct? I couldn't help being impressed by your words toward Igneous. True heroes like you and I know why we exist. Many fail to realize this sometimes and in a world filled with destructive people we need more people like you."

You are completely speechless. You a hero? If the worlds number one hero believes you have what it takes then perhaps this is your path. A path to becoming a pro hero. You look at one for all directly in the eyes as you spoke.

"I'm proud to know the number one hero thinks this. You truly are the real deal. If you think I have what it takes then I trust your word. For now lets tell the police you were the hero tonight but know that next time we meet I'll be someone dedicated to a better world."

The police arrive at the scene immediately arresting Igneous. He is sent to get his wounds treated before being sent to prison. The news was all over the recapturing of such a perilous villain. It didn't come as a surprise the number one hero "defeated" him. One for all would never forget this night.

🖤🤍❤💛

After such a faithful night you dedicate yourself to training in becoming a pro hero. You put your body in a strict diet and exercise routine to achieve your goals. You're fit sure but not in shape for the pro hero business. After months of training you made a hero costume for yourself. You decide to pick out a mask. A white mask is your final decision along with a white cape as a nod to your idol hero, One for all. Your costume is a skin tight black body suit it has no collar in fact it reveals your shoulders while your cape wraps around your neck like a scarf, the sleeves reach just below the elbow, heavy combat boots of your favorite color, around the waist is a belt with your hero name initials in a shiny golden color. You decide your hero name is "Kilometer Shot" based on your most powerful attack. You desire it to be your trademark attack as a pro hero. Today you'll start your first day as a hero. It will be a new beginning to your life. You've heard from a group of thugs in the alley by your job discussing a heist in hopes of robbing the bank in downtown tonight. You use your quirk to punch the ground, jumping from building rooftops. You hide on the rooftop nearby to investigate the area. Shortly you find the group in a truck wearing ski masks. Three leave the truck while one sat in the car. You smile already knowing your plan as you open the door to the truck cracking your knuckles.

All three leave the building by smashing through the wall laughing. By the time they open the door to the truck its too late. You use your quirk to punch them against the wall. Two faint from such an intense hit while the third stood up using his quirk to grow four more extra arms. He begins laughing since he truly has no clue who you are. He underestimates you as a newbie. You dodge his punches as well as a dumpster he attempts hitting you with. In no time you have each thrown in the truck tied up with their own rope they kept in the back. You're glad you didn't require using your "five senses" quirk because the alarm coming from the bank is already loud enough as it is. You grab the bags filled with cash throwing them back into the building while you wait for police to arrive. You sure hope no other hero arrives because you have the entire situation taken care of. Unfortunately it isn't the case when one of the thieves woke up breaking the rope with his sheer muscles. You notice he is the only one wearing a tank top and for good reason too. He must have a quirk that allows his muscles to grow on command.

"Don't think you have the upper hand. I don't care if you’re some wannabe hero. I'll take you down in five seconds flat."

"I am a hero. Don't be so cocky." You say ready to punch the air.

You give him a threatening punch to the chest you're sure it will leave a huge mark. It definitely hurt but he is still standing. He charges after you to give you a hit but you're able to punch the ground making yourself leap in the air. His head crashes into the wall of the building next door. He falls to the ground while the wall has a noticeable hole. You give this thug another punch being sure to aim for his head. He tries dodging so you hit his leg instead.

"Damn you!!! Get back here so I can crush your skull!!"

You land on top of the truck to punch him again.

"Air punch!" You shout while your hands glow a neon blue.

From your fist a glowing fist appears swinging at the mans cheek. He is thrown into the wall again while you use five senses to pay extra attention to your surroundings in case the other criminals in the truck awaken from the fight. The thief is quite the brute he has huge muscles with scars and tattoos covering his body. His face isn't recognizable from the ski mask but his eyes are green, they're filled with exasperation. His muscles then grow larger with several veins appearing his large hands. He lifts up the car you're standing on.

"What are you doing?! The others are still inside!!"

"I wouldn't worry about them right now if I were you."

His twisted grin gave you the warning to move out of the way. Out of no where another hero arrives catching the truck. You gasp while the thief gave a worrisome sounding grunt. The hero is none other than One for all. She is smiling ever so brightly.

"I see I arrived in time. Will you give up or put up a fight?" She asks in her confident smooth voice.

"Don't count on it!!"

"Is that so? You do realize you're surrounded. The police are here. Do you still wish to fight?" She said while placing the truck back down.

He began looking around noticing the police truly are here. Inside the bank, out the entrance of the alley, and on the rooftops nearby.

"This is your fault!! Who are you!? I can't believe I'll be captured because of some puny hero!"

"I'm Kilometer Shot. This is your own fault. Robbing the bank is a crime and you already know it." You respond with consequential eyes.

He released a loud scream along with inappropriate curses before charging at you. Together you and One for all dodge his attack with each of you grabbing an arm then slamming him to the ground, pinning him. Various officers rush to the scene with handcuffs for every thief while other officials check the inside of the bank. Every thief is thrown inside the back of a police car. While the officers are busy at work, One for all looks over to you curiously.

"You.. I haven't seen a hero like you around. Are you the new promised hero I met a while back?" She asks with an enthusiastic grin.

You wink with a small laugh.

"A hero never reveals their identity. I can say you've made quite an impact on my life and I did promise to meet you again."

"Then I am happy to meet you Kilometer Shot. We made a great team."

Before you could respond a news reporter along with her camera man run toward the both of you. She held out her microphone toward One for all.

"One for all! Did you put those robbers to justice? And is this woman next to you a sidekick perhaps?"

You froze not expecting such an accusation. The number one heroine laughed into the mic.

"My partner was the one to bring those men to justice." She hooked her arm around your shoulder as she spoke.

"So you're telling me and the viewers at home she is truly your sidekick?? Miss! What is your name!"

One for all pats your back while laughing at your surprised yet elated smile. The look in her eyes told you she truly meant what she said.

"I am Kilometer Shot and I am her sidekick!" You say with confidence directly toward the camera.

"You heard them folks! The infamous hero now has a sidekick! What will this duo do together in the future?"

After the news report on live t.v. you became widely known all over newspapers, internet, and just about everyone. The number one hero having a sidekick? It had only been a week. How could it spread like wild fire so quickly? Seems as though everyone would like to know more about you. You sat in your living room watching another pro hero discussion about you. While eating your breakfast you hear the doorbell. You open the door to see a fit woman with curled dark hair her eyes are familiar but her wardrobe spoke of a gym rat. She wears gym shorts and a tank top with sneakers. All the colors of light blue and white. You don't recognize her until she greets you with your full name in a recognizable voice.

"May I come in?" She chuckled lightly.

"Yes..! Please come right in!"

This woman is none other than One for all. She looks quite different with her hair down but it didn't take long for you to know immediately. How could you not? She is your idol. You wish you cleaned your apartment some more before she arrived. Seated on the couch the both of you chat. She noticed the channel you're watching then looks over to you.

"You're probably wondering how I found your home. I asked your boss since I still remembered where your job is. He gave me the directions once I told him I'm a relative. I came here to ask you more. If you're truly okay with becoming my sidekick."

"I-I really am. Fighting crime together will be slightly better than going alone. I might be new but I am a determined hero. I know I have what it takes!"

"Wonderful. I wasn't sure if it was too much pressure for you."

"Not at all. Though I do have a few questions... if we're going to be fighting crime and you know my identity. What is your name?"

"That's right. My name is Nana Shimura. Pleased to meet you."

"Nice meeting you Nana. Now that we have that out of the way. I was wondering why you chose me? Was there any particular reason or were you already looking for a partner in crime?"

"Now that you mention it.. I wasn't looking for a partner but with you I saw your potential. When we faced Igneous you had said some words even I was surprised to hear. They really stuck with me. During my career as a pro hero no one ever spoke about heroes with such sincerity. It's always popularity and never about our true purpose. You spoke to him as if you were a hero. Your ideals mark the words of a true hero."

She left you speechless how are you to respond? The number one hero calling you a true hero. She spoke about you with such praise. Some one you look up to is now viewing you with such admiration. You felt bashful she looks to you as someone she can rely on now. You reach out to her with confident eyes letting her know you will always have her back. You two shake hands in agreement. Yes this would be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

❤🤍🖤💛❤

One for all and Kilometer Shot became very widely known heroes. The both of you truly did make a good team. Many threats to the city were taken care of thanks to the both of you. As a crime stopping duo the both of you defeated many villains on the way. It became months of you two working hard that led to wide spread notoriety. You got to know about all her abilities just as she did with yours. As main targets to villain groups and enemies it became increasingly dangerous with every criminal you two fought. Not only did your reputations rise but so did your friendship. She got to know everything about you. Same could be said with you. You knew almost everything about her. What schools she went to and her personal life. It was only a matter of time until you became infatuated by her. Yes.. you grew a crush on her more so than you thought. You fell in love with Nana. She became someone whom you could always rely on. She's everything you want in a lover. Kind, compassionate, confident, heroic and full of wisdom. To you her wisdom always shine through just as her big heart. She's so selfless always thinking about others just as you do.

You feel the few reasons she would deny your feelings is for more than simply not returning your feelings. Rather you're afraid her past would prevent such a relationship. She has shared her past with her husband and child how both passed away tragically in a fight with a villain. Her husband was killed while her child died in a fire from a house fire caused by the villain. It may have been four years ago but to this day she has a hard time talking about the subject. Why bother? As heartbreaking as her past is it doesn't mean it's not a one sided love. She will only see you as her friend and sidekick. You could never bring yourself to tell her the truth. These feelings must never be admitted to her. There is no telling how she could react but you know for a fact it could ruin your friendship. Its something you'd never risk. Your friendship with Nana is most important to you even above your own life. She truly means the world to you. You know you two would be best friends forever.

You receive a call from Nana asking you to meet her at an abandoned building where a group of criminals have hostages locked inside. She explains the group are trying to make off with an expensive artifact worth over one million. Five men including a dangerous convict with a tsunami quirk. She was told to save the hostages but there is no way she could do it alone. You change into your costume leaving your apartment immediately before something could happen to the hostages. Luckily you know a route around the apartment complex where you know you will not be seen. You arrive to the scene with One for all waiting for you. She is relieved to see you upon greeting her. She continued to explain more of the situation.

"We aren't sure how many hostages there could be but we do know the criminal plans to flood the building if the police doesn't prevent him from escaping."

"Would you like me to distract them while you save the hostages? I could easily dodge their attacks with my speed."

"Sounds like a plan. You know what to do."

She gave you a wink going through the back while you jump on top of the building crashing through a window to shatter it. They recognize you, aiming their harpoon weapons at you. You dodge every sharp weapon with the intention of stabbing you.

"I'll kill you!!!" One of the buff men scream grabbing a gun.

The others in the group continuously shoot bullets at you but they each miss. Your keen eyesight and hearing from your quirk made it impossible for them to catch you. Finally the leader commands them to stop so he could hurt you instead.

"Enough!! I'll take care of her!! Grab the hostages so we can escape. NOW!!"

"Boss they're gone!!"

"What do we do?!"

"You can't be serious!! Where did they go!?" He commands you to answer with his hands ready to shoot at you.

You're sure he might be the man who is able to control tsunami's as your partner mentioned earlier. You give him a serious expression while you get ready to activate your quirk in case he got any bright ideas. You didn't answer him causing his face to contort into an expression of rage. Two of his men are thrown across the building thanks to your partner punching them with her quirk. The rest look over to her allowing you to punch his other two men with multiple punches of your own. His lackies stand back up to aim their guns at the both of you. Dodging their bullets you aim more of your jet-like punches in their direction sending them flying into One for all so she could land another hit.

"You underestimate us! The hostages are now safe and we will be sure you're brought to justice!" You shout while throwing air punches.

"Don't think you have the upper hand. I can still kill you both!"

"Kilometer shot, be careful!" One for all shouts before jumping behind the crook to land another blow to his skull.

He took her wrist throwing her toward the moldy bricked wall of the building. Her side is scraped up along with her arm. Nothing too critical for her but it still stung. You give him a punch to the face but it did nothing to him. He began laughing while trying to grab your wrist as well. His lackeys try going after One for all but her speed and strength overwhelm them.

"I am not a newbie. Do your best!" You shout aiming a direct blow to his abdomen.

Your body is surrounded by blue waves while your fists glow a familiar neon blue. He screams in agony clutching the huge indent your fist left in his gut. His sharp teeth are exposed while he screams. Him along with the others are wearing multicolored ski masks. You rip off the mask from his face to identify him and gasp.

"You're.... it can't be..!"

"That's right! Long time no see, sweetheart. Remember me from the aquarium? Don't think I forgot about it!! I'll take my revenge today! You're both screwed and I'll start with you Kilometer shot!"

"You may have escaped prison, Tank but I won't allow you to harm others any longer."

"Don't worry I'll save you the trouble of witnessing it by taking your life!"

"Don't count on it!"

He is a shark man you and one for all put to jail months back. He vowed to get revenge on both of you. He has slaughtered the innocent for mistreatment to his kind at the aquarium. His visible scars on his blue skinned body is very intimidating. That tied with his black long sleeved shirt and pants making his body look bigger some how. He stands at seven feet tall with large muscles you're sure he can crack any skull with. While the two of you are fighting, One for all is taking care of his men. They prove to be trouble with their fire quirks. Nothing she can't handle but she is left with some burns and scratches. You decide you will strike this man until he is no longer able to fight. His quirk will prove to be troublesome you know it all too well. Your fists immediately make contact with his abdomen but it doesn't do as much damage as planned.

"Is that all!? You'll have to do better if you plan on defeating me!"

He gave you a punch to the face sending you flying across the area. You stand back up with ease being sure to summon your ability.

"Kilometer shot!!!"

Hitting his abdomen once more your punch really dealt damage this time around. He fell to his knees while you heard flames in the background getting thrown. You look over noticing two men down while your partner continued fighting each with her powerful punches. Her outfit is slightly burnt while her cape is burnt to a crisp. Your opponent in front of you began chuckling.

"You really have no idea what we are about to do. You both will die while we escape and there isn't nothing you can do about it."

"What are you talking about?" You ask with seriousness.

You hear an explosion looking over at your partner who is face down on the ground with some flames on her body. Your eyes widen but its too late for you to react. Tank made great use of his quirk by hitting you with a huge wave with his tsunami quirk. Meanwhile his henchmen use their quirks to burn down a hole in the ceiling while the place is flooded. You use your quirk maneuvering toward One for all to save her. She is floating and luckily you jump in the water placing her on your back. You heard laughter while the awful men put the entire abandoned building on fire. You look around frantically doing your best to think of a plan ignoring the two floating charcoal covered bodies. There is no way they could've survived such an explosion. You smell something foul then look over your shoulder to see a trail of gas with fire engulfing it on top of the water.

"When did they have time to spill gas? Did one of the men see some in this building??" You thought while thinking back.

You knew you must've been distracted to notice. There was too many to keep an eye on. This abandoned place could be holding anything. The water is holding different wooden crates and broken wood. At this rate it will be hard escaping and with the fumes in the air you're not sure how long you will survive. You begin using your quirk to punch the water beneath you but upon shooting yourself out the roof you held your head with one hand. One for all fell off of you prompting you to catch her arm. She slowly awakens until she realizes the situation. The roof maybe on fire but you are still standing on top with sweat across your face due to the heat. Your clothes are ripped and burnt while your cape is no longer around your shoulders.

"Nana! Hurry we must get out of here! Grab that wooden bar holding up the roof so you can climb up! I'm not sure if I can hold onto you any longer!"

She looks to you and the situation at hand. She gave you a smile as always causing you to be relieved.

"Don't worry about me!"

"Are you crazy?? Why?!"

"My arm is broken! It won't move."

Your eyes widen frightened for her. With both hands you try pulling back but its hard you're tired and hurt not to mention the high temperature atmosphere. She always told you to smile in hard situations but how could you now? At this rate you really will drop her you can barely stand up since your body is sore and weak.

"I'll get us out of this situation don't worry!" You shout with a worrisome tone.

"Y/n. If you don't let go you will fall in with me. The world needs more heroes if I'm gone who will take my place?"

Tears form in your eyes at the thought. It can't end this way not now. You couldn't bare to lose her she is precocious to you. You know she is brave and heroic but this isn't how her life should end. She is the best hero and the best person in your life there is no way you could let go. Brimming with emotions you speak your feelings out of fear.

"I-I can't! I can't Nana! If you die then you would leave this world with my broken heart! You deserve happiness and I wanted to see it for myself! Your deceased husband and son.. they meant the world to you but it isn't time to see them yet! Live your life for your friends.. for your fans.. for the people.. and.. and for me! I love you! Letting you go is like letting my life flash before my eyes I can't live without you. I know its pointless admitting it now but I don't care! I need you! Please Nana... don't give up!"

Your face may be in tears and Nana may be surprised by such a confession but she is happy. She is smiling with tears of joy. She always loved you too but she wasn't sure if you would return her feelings. You two have known each other for a long time this is no surprise. The two of you grew feelings for each other.

"How could I be so blind.." She says looking up at you with pain and happiness in her eyes.

She didn't have a chance to respond since someone pulled the both of you back by flying off the roof. You're both shocked noticing another pro hero its none other than Gran Torino! He used his quirk to fly off the roof top safely landing onto the ground. You held onto Nana tightly as the both of you smile in relief. He seems surprised to witness both of you hugging and crying tears of joy. The whole place is surrounded with firefighters and police officers. The criminals are all pushed behind the back of a police vehicle in handcuffs. After you two are sent to paramedics you two return to your home thanks to Gran Torino. You two couldn't be more grateful to such a good friend going through all the trouble. Later you two sat in your living room looking to each other with big smiles.

"Y/n about earlier.. I want you to know I love you too. I've always had. I was foolish to let myself be so selfish. I was only trying to save you I hope you understand.."

"Nana I understand but next time we both have to try harder. It's fine to give a smile during hard situations but we must always try to find a way to seek everyone's safety. This includes your own well being. I don't ever want to risk losing you."

"Y/n... I love you..!" She cried hugging you.

You held her knowing how hard she tried smiling the entire time. In the end she would always sacrifice herself for others. She really is a true hero. You never want to see her cry again. You want her happiness for she has suffered alone long enough. As her partner in crime you will always be there for her but this is different. True love comes with its benefits. The kind you both desire in your lives. You look up at her ignoring the burns and dirt.

"Nana I'm in love with you too." You say with sincerity only your lover could ever witness in your eyes.

You two lean in for a well deserved kiss it didn't matter how bruised or burnt the both of you are. It didn't matter if you're both heroes, women, or on earth for that matter. You two held hands with your romantic kiss connecting you two. All that matters right now is the both you sharing a moment of redamancy. True love you two will cherish always.

#my hero academia #nana shimura x reader #female reader #hero reader #violence #boku no hero academia #boku no hero x reader #boku no hero fanfic #my hero academia fanfic #mha fanfiction #reader insert #action

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