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#arvin eugene russell
music-is-my-main-drug ยท 1 year
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โ˜ ๏ธ๐Ÿ’€Tom Holland๐Ÿ’€โ˜ ๏ธ
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lolo-l0ved ยท 2 years
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โ†ณ Arvin Eugene Russell icons
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shitedits ยท 2 years
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sunkendreams ยท 4 months
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โ€” ๐‘๐”๐‹๐„๐’ & ๐Œ๐”๐’๐„๐’. ๐ฌพ
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please keep in mind that this blog is strictly 18+ โ€” minors, please do not follow or interact with my content. any hateful subjects, inclusion of drama, or harmful requests will result in being blocked and/or a deleted request.
๐Ÿ“Œ ๐ซ๐ž๐ช๐ฎ๐ž๐ฌ๐ญ๐ฌ: ๐จ๐ฉ๐ž๐ง / ๐š๐ฏ๐š๐ข๐ฅ๐š๐›๐ฅ๐ž.
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๐ˆ ๐–๐ˆ๐‹๐‹ ๐–๐‘๐ˆ๐“๐„ . . .
smut, smut and fluff, gore & violence, darker subject matters, porn with plot, porn without plot, female reader, afab reader, dubious consent, somnophilia, size differences, choking, breeding kink, pet names, experienced reader, inexperienced reader, dom/sub dynamics, predator/prey, capture/captive, bondage, kidnapping, stockholm syndrome, monsterfucking, legal age gaps, bloodplay, knifeplay, threesomes, poly!relationships, voyeurism, etc . . .
๐ˆ ๐–๐ˆ๐‹๐‹ ๐๐Ž๐“ ๐–๐‘๐ˆ๐“๐„ . . .
non-con, pregnancy, necrophilia, only fluff, only slice-of-life, male reader, original characters, incest, age play, little play, watersports, sexual abuse, self-harm, domestic abuse, racism, homophobia, any harmful kinks/fetishes.
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๐Œ๐”๐’๐„๐’ & ๐๐Ž๐‘๐“๐‘๐€๐˜๐€๐‹๐’.
โ› โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ” โ โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ”โ” โœ
๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ. ๐’๐‹๐€๐’๐‡๐„๐‘๐’.
michael myers ( 2018 )
michael myers ( rz!version )
corey cunningham
the lost boys + michael emerson
thomas b. hewitt ( tcm remake )
brahms heelshire
jason voorhees
bo sinclair
vincent sinclair
lester sinclair
billy loomis
stu macher
mickey altieri
richie kirsch
amber freeman
ethan landry
albert shaw / the grabber
eric newlon / john carver
dominic craven
๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ. ๐’๐“๐‘๐€๐๐†๐„๐‘ ๐“๐‡๐ˆ๐๐†๐’.
jim hopper
001 / henry creel
eddie munson
steve harrington
๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ. ๐’๐”๐๐„๐‘๐๐€๐“๐”๐‘๐€๐‹.
dean winchester
sam winchester
castiel
lucifer
gabriel
๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ‘. ๐•๐ˆ๐ƒ๐„๐Ž ๐†๐€๐Œ๐„๐’.
alcina dimitrescu โ€” (resident evil)
karl heisenberg โ€” (resident evil)
salvatore moreau โ€” (resident evil)
leon kennedy โ€” (resident evil)
eddie gluskin โ€” (outlast)
miles upshur / the walrider โ€” (outlast)
chris walker โ€” (outlast)
joshua washington โ€” (until dawn)
joel miller โ€” (the last of us + show)
tommy miller โ€” (the last of us + show)
๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ’. ๐Œ๐ˆ๐’๐‚๐„๐‹๐‹๐€๐๐„๐Ž๐”๐’.
arvin eugene russell โ€” (the devil all the time)
eric draven โ€” (the crow)
v โ€” (v for vendetta)
hellboy โ€” (hellboy films)
prince nuada โ€” (hellboy films)
jackson rippner โ€” (red eye)
jonathan crane / scarecrow โ€” (nolanverse)
dani ardor โ€” (midsommar)
father paul hill โ€” (midnight mass)
tiffany valentine โ€” (chucky)
william afton โ€” (fnaf movie)
michael schmidt โ€” (fnaf movie)
rick grimes โ€” (the walking dead)
๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ“. ๐Ž๐‘๐ˆ๐†๐ˆ๐๐€๐‹ ๐‚๐‡๐€๐‘๐€๐‚๐“๐„๐‘๐’.
rasvan benedikte eleazar / count dracula โ€” (coming soon!)
joaquin jackson โ€” (coming soon!)
ghostface oc โ€” (coming soon!)
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sivyera ยท 7 months
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Yandere TDATT characters being in love with you would include...
ft. arvin, preston, lee, willard, lenora
a/n: pls don't kill me for the preston part, i mean some of you simp for joker who is much worse, btw y/n and Lenora are 18
เผปโ™›เผบ
โคท Arvin Eugene Russell
-Arvin would probably first met you at school when he was waiting for Lenora. He saw you standing up for Lenora to her bullies which immediately made him curious about you.
-So he would ask Lenora about you, he'd also told her to befriend you so you can help her in school, definitely not to know more about you.
-POSSESSIVE
-He would stalk you, sometimes he'd be in his car, driving behind your walking figure on the street, or he would sneak to your house at night watching you sleep or shower or do literally anything.
-He will protect you more than he does Lenora. If anyone even look at you the wrong way, they will end up with several broken bones. And if someone tries to touch you without your permission or make you slightly uncomfortable, the person will end up dead.
-After some time he will approach you. Starting a conversation about how glad he is that Lenora has you, that he cannot be around her to protect her all the time.
-He would never hurt you. Maybe if you find out that he killed someone for you, he would try to manipulate you, but he would never punch your or something similar.
-He would kidnap you soon, just to make sure that you are safe with him. He would also take a good care of you, will give you some freedom when he trusts you enough that you won't run away.
-He would want to spend every minute with you and he won't ever let you go, he loves you so much.
โคท Preston Teagardin
-Preston would meet you in church after your grandma took you there. You didn't believe in god (you were atheist) and just lived normal life but that was to your grandma a sin. Your grandpa didn't really care because he was atheist as well so you often made jokes about your granny's faith.
-When Preston saw you he knew that he wants you. Your beaty was unbelievable. Which made him curious about you. He saw in your eyes that you don't believe in god and that's what attracted him.
-Your grandma told him how sinful you are and asked him if he could talk to you, which he gladly accepted.
-He would manipulate your grandma to think that he needs more time with you, alone. So she will make you go to the church more often, than he could be alone with you.
-Possessive and obsessive, will also stalk you a lot. Probably in his car at night looking into your window at you.
-He wouldn't even try to convince you to believe in god because he himself doesn't believe in him. He is also atheist he's just doing it for the money and power.
-You two will be alone in the church or after some time in his house. He would be over the moon because he can have you all to himself. BUT he wouldn't do anything without your verbal consent, because he would never hurt you in any way.
-Your relationship will be a secret from the start, just few glances and his death stares at anyone who's talking to you.
-But after some time he wouldn't be able to control himself anymore. He just has to have you, all the time. He can't get enough of you.
-He will kidnap you unless you go voluntarily. If yes than you two will run away and live somewhere in countryside where no one will bother you. You will have freedom around the house and on the yard, but he's the one who will go for grocery OR he will go with you, just to make sure no one will talk nor touch his precious angel.
โคท Lee Bodecker
-Lee will stop you while he was working because you drove too fast. When he pull you over he was too stunned to speak. You were beautiful and he saw fire in your eyes.
-He shook his head and flirt with you, but enough not to make it weird nor make you uncomfortable. At the end of the day he didn't give you the speed ticket and let you go under one condition, which was to give him your name and phone number.
-After that he will make excuses to talk to you, so he would either stop you at the driveway or call you or knock on your door for a talk (because he will found out where you live by stalking you or looking into your file at the police station)
-He is also a stalker but not that much like Arvin, Preston or Willard. He will call it 'looking out for you just in case some men will make you uncomfortable' because he's a policeman, after all it's his job ;)
-He will offer you his help to stay close to you, doesn't matter if you need help with grocery or drop you somewhere in his police car.
-If anyone touches you, make you uncomfortable OR dare to flirt with you, he will arrest them for a long time and make sure they will leave you alone.
-He won't be rude to you or harsh but he will be dominant (like every other characters except Lenora) because he is policeman, you will have to have some respect for him.
-He will kidnap you sooner rather than later, just in case no man will hurt you, this city is cruel...and he can have you for himself.
โคท Willard Russell
-Willard couldn't take his eyes off of you, when he saw you at that bar. He will talk to you as long as possible and he will flirt with you. After your shift he will take you home to make sure you are fine, definitely not to find out where you live ;)
-He will come to that bar more often to see you and talk to you, will also protect you like that, because no man would even try to talk to you when they saw that Willard is near you.
-At night he will sneak into your house and sat next to your bed, watching you sleep for few hours, you now again just in case.
-He is the most possessive of them all, also the biggest stalker. If anyone will try to talk to you, he will wait on them somewhere in private so no one could see what he will do to that man, because i'm telling you the man that talked to you won't survive or he will have a REALLY hard time.
-He will kidnap you after just two months, this world is too dangerous for someone so beautiful and precious like you.
-He also wouldn't hurt you but he will manipulate you if you won't listen to him. He is also the most dominant, he is veteran so he has some discipline and will 'teach' you how to listen to him.
-Won't let you out of the house but otherwise you have freedom and if you need anything from the shop, he will either go with you or buy anything you need. Most of the time you will stay home tho.
โคท Lenoraย Lafteryย 
-Lenora will meet you at school, you were her new classmate. She is the purest of them all but don't let her innocence fool you. She might be pure and innocent but she's not dumb, she can use it.
-From the start she will pray to god every night so he make her emotions for you vanish. But she will get use to them after some time.
-She will make herself a victim more than she already is to make you protect her from her bullies.
-She is more like your worshiper. Let's say you will became her new 'god' more like goddess, she will worship the ground you walk on, will pray every night for you and your love.
-She will also be a bit confused how much emotions she feels towards you, unhealthy emotions like lust, obsession, desire,... which she finds sinful and horrible but she cannot help herself.
-She won't stalk you... lot, but will kind of spend as much time with you as possible, which means sleepover or study dates (like she likes to call it, even tho they aren't)
-She also won't kidnap you made she will make herself look like a victim even more so you will stay by her side, if you talk to other guys she will act hurt and will say that the guys has been bullying her so you will eventually stop talking to him. She loves you and won't let you leave her side.
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tags: @clarks-letterman hope you like it!
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mediaevalmusereads ยท 2 years
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The Devil All the Time. By Donald Ray Pollock. Doubleday, 2011.
Rating: 3/5 stars
Genre: Southern Gothic
Part of a Series? No
Summary: Set in rural southern Ohio and West Virginia, The Devil All the Time follows a cast of characters from the end of World War II to the 1960s. Thereโ€™s Willard Russell, tormented veteran of the carnage in the South Pacific, who canโ€™t save his beautiful wife, Charlotte, from an agonizing death by cancer no matter how much sacrifiยญcial blood he pours on his โ€œprayer log.โ€ Thereโ€™s Carl and Sandy Henderson, a husband-and-wife team of serial killยญers, who troll Americaโ€™s highways searching for suitable models to photograph and exterminate. Thereโ€™s the spider-handling preacher Roy and his crippled virtuoso-guitar-playing sidekick, Theodore, running from the law. And caught in the middle of all this is Arvin Eugene Russell, Willard and Charlotteโ€™s orphaned son, who grows up to be a good but also violent man in his own right.
***Full review under the cut.***
Content Warnings: violence, blood, animal cruelty, racism, misogyny, sexual content (including statutory rape), homophobia, ableism, fatphobia, suicide
Overview: This isnโ€™t my usual type of book, so I canโ€™t say for sure why I decided to pick it up. Maybe I was curious. Maybe I was vaguely aware that thereโ€™s a Netflix adaptation. Whatever the case, I read this book in 2 days and Iโ€™m still not sure how to rate it. Itโ€™s not what I would call a pleasant read, but then again, Iโ€™m aware that my own biases and reading preferences are going to influence the way I interpret the novel. Thus, Iโ€™m settling on 3 stars, in part because the author clearly has strong literary skills and is writing well within his genre, even if Iโ€™m personally not sure how I feel.
Writing: Pollockโ€™s prose is well-crafted and feels appropriate for the genre. Thereโ€™s a pretty good balance of showing and telling, and the prose feels literary in a way that feels both descriptive and detached at the same time. Itโ€™s hard to explain, but I think it worked out well. I didnโ€™t feel like I was too deep in the charactersโ€™ heads, and though I felt like I was observing their lives from the outside, it felt personal and intimate enough where I didnโ€™t get the impression that I was being kept at armโ€™s length.
I also want to give Pollock credit for crafting vivid, visceral imagery. While I donโ€™t think Pollock goes all the way into shock value or misery porn, I do think he balances allusion and graphic imagery to create environments and scenes that will elicit reactions from a reader. I liked that he never described graphic acts of sexual assault or violence, but he did include everything around that violence, if that makes sense. In a way, I think it made the horrifying parts of this book all the more upsetting, and even if I didnโ€™t personally enjoy it, I can recognize the skill it took to accomplish this.
Plot: The plot of this book more or less follows a cast of characters as they live their lives in and around several counties between Ohio and West Virginia. Thereโ€™s no overarching narrative, per se, in that thereโ€™s not a goal weโ€™re heading toward. Rather, this book feels like a composite novel or a series of vignettes where characters move in and out of each othersโ€™ lives.
What I admired about this plot is the deliberateness and effort it took to make each characterโ€™s thread feel distinct before it became interwoven again with othersโ€™ threads towards the end. While there were times when I wondered why we were following a particular character, by the time I reached the end, I respected the way Pollock structured his novel.ย 
I also appreciated the pace of this book; it never felt like a scene or chapter was moving too fast or too slow, and though this book takes place over the course of a few decades, I never felt as though time were skipping and I was left to fend for myself (as a reader). Moreover, I think Pollock crafted hisย โ€œplotโ€ in a way that effectively showed characters acting out of desperation, whether because they were trapped in poverty or because they had goals that they were striving for but could never reach.
However, as I mentioned in the introduction, this book is not necessarily pleasant to read. Because I donโ€™t think the author set out to create aย โ€œpleasantโ€ book, I can hardly fault him for that, but I think itโ€™s best to go into this book with the knowledge that this isnโ€™t a thriller or a story that pulls out a feel-good message at the end. Itโ€™s dark and grim, and I think some people might find it cathartic that way. Personally, though, Iโ€™m on the fence.
Characters: Because there are so many characters, Iโ€™m going to talk about them as a whole instead of turning to them individually, as I usually do in my reviews. Pollock crafts a cast of characters that feel distinct from one other, but all are united by their experience living in small, impoverished towns. I liked that each character had their own struggles and acted in ways that felt outrageous yet believable, and I credit Pollock for making each character interesting, even if I found a number of them reprehensible.
That being said, there were a lot of things I could do without. There was a lot of racism, homophobia, sexism, you name it. On some level, I understand why itโ€™s all in there; this book is set in small, majority-white towns in post-war America, so itโ€™s not unexpected that there are some blatant prejudices on display. But even so, it was a little much, and some of it definitely didnโ€™t have to be there.
TL;DR: The Devil All the Time is a grim yet well-crafted novel about poverty, desperation, and depravity in small-town, post-war America. Though the author is skilled at creating visceral imagery, complex characters, and a narrative that feels like a tapestry of inter-woven vignettes, the gloominess of this Southern Gothic tale might be a bit much for some readers.
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arvinsvintage ยท 2 years
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I am once again filling my entire soul with love for Arvin Eugene Russell
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dbnightingale24 ยท 2 years
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askin for devil all the time fic whatever you wanna write iโ€™m leavin it up to you
Okay, so this took so long because I got carried away, but I LOVED writing this and I truly hope you enjoy it!! Once again, I love you and would do anything you ask of me, so please never feel bad about asking me to write anything!!! ENJOY and Happy Halloween!!
P.S. @imawreck1999, if you want to do a reading of this, Iโ€™ll make popcorn this time.
Word Count: 12,820
Warnings: SMUT (18+) (No Age Gap between reader and Arvin), Murder, Violence, Underage Drinking, Running Away, Family Arguing, Gambling, Just lots of not good things...Read At Your Own Risk and Responsiblyย 
**
ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  Iโ€™ll Follow You Into The Dark
โ€œSame fill up as usual?โ€ Arvin asks as you pull up to the gas station where he works.
โ€œI suppose so,โ€ you smile as you roll down your window. โ€œYou know, my Pa is sore at you.โ€
โ€œSore at me? For what?โ€ he asks, pushing the pump nozzle into your gas tank. โ€œI worked off my debt, didnโ€™t I?โ€
โ€œYou worked off your debt, but you stopped cominโ€™ around.โ€
โ€œWhat else is there for me to come around for?โ€
โ€œI donโ€™t know, probably thought youโ€™d man up and ask me out,โ€ you say with a wry smile.
โ€œI did man up and ask you out,โ€ he chuckles, removing the nozzle once the machine โ€˜tingsโ€™.
โ€œI know that- but he doesnโ€™t.โ€
โ€œYou ready for your parents to know?โ€
โ€œNot really. But you could still come around.โ€
โ€œCome around and do what?โ€
โ€œI donโ€™t know, maybe fix a chifferobe or two? Fix up the sink in the kitchen?โ€
โ€œYou know I have to pickup Lenora after school.โ€
โ€œWho told you not to? Hell, bring her with you.โ€
โ€œYeah? Then what happens after I run out of things to fix?โ€ he smirks, leaning against the drivers side door.
โ€œMaybe make an honest woman out of me, and ask me out on a real date? In front of my parents.โ€
โ€œMaybe-โ€
โ€œBy maybe, I mean do it.โ€
โ€œYouโ€™ll be ready for that?โ€
โ€œReady for my Mama and all of her hollerinโ€™ about a weddinโ€™ date and havinโ€™ babies? Never,โ€ you laugh softly, โ€œbut Iโ€™m ready to be with you. Really be with you. Besides, as handy as you are, you canโ€™t be that fast at fixinโ€™ things.โ€
โ€œWell, now I have a bit more of a push to work faster,โ€ he laughs before dipping down and kissing you. โ€œI love you, Y/N.โ€
โ€œI love you too, Arvin,โ€ you sigh, always wanting more of him but never asking as Sheriff Lee Bodecker pulls up behind you, obnoxiously honking his horn. โ€œWhat a prick. Hey, what are you doinโ€™ tonight?โ€
โ€œGoinโ€™ home and helpinโ€™ my grandmother with last minute prep for some Spring thing theyโ€™re havinโ€™ at church this weekend.โ€
โ€œWell, do you think sheโ€™d protest to you staying out a little later tonight?โ€
โ€œWhat do you have in mind?โ€
โ€œThereโ€™s gonna be a little get together at Timโ€™s,โ€ you sigh as the Sheriff honks his horn again. You lean out the open window, turn around, and give him the finger. Sheriff or not, he can still kiss both sides of your ass.
โ€œY/N, donโ€™t-โ€ he sheepishly protests.
โ€œI havenโ€™t done anythinโ€™ besides bruise his ego, donโ€™t worry about him. What do you say? Come tonight-โ€
โ€œLenora-โ€
โ€œItโ€™ll only be for a few hours, sheโ€™ll be fine. I miss you.โ€
โ€œI miss you too,โ€ he smiles as the sheriff honks his horn again. โ€œIโ€™ll meet you there-โ€
โ€œMy parents have dinner plans with a friend, pick me up.โ€
โ€œFine, Iโ€™ll pick you up,โ€ he laughs before kissing your forehead. โ€œGo before you get yourself in real trouble.โ€
โ€œTell me what I wanna hear or Iโ€™ll stay right here.โ€
โ€œYouโ€™re a real trouble maker, you know that? I love you.โ€
โ€œAnd I love you, Arvin,โ€ you smile before turning over the engine and its pistons fire. โ€œIโ€™ll see you tonight, and you better not stand me up,โ€ you warn, sounding as foreboding as possible.
โ€œAs if I ever could,โ€ he calls back as you pull away.
As you slowly wind onto the familiar roads back home, car full of gas and back seat full of groceries, you smile to yourself at the ideas you hope come true tonight.
**
You sit at the kitchen in Timโ€™s house, looking around the room, holding your beer close. Arvin called and told you that he wouldnโ€™t be able to pick you up because there was something going on with Lenora, his grandmother, and uncle, but that heโ€™d meet you. He promised heโ€™d meet you.
Well, youโ€™ve been at Timโ€™s now for 2 hours and thereโ€™s still no sign of him. Youโ€™re irritation grows by the second; the night wasnโ€™t going at all as you had planned, and you were growing more and more uncomfortable as more guys hit on you. Yeah, youโ€™re only three beers in, but that doesnโ€™t stop the steadying uneasiness in your stomach.
All of that and Devin wonโ€™t stop performing Johnny Cash songs on his acoustic guitar. The way he was performing, youโ€™d think that The Man in Black invented country music itself.
โ€œNow maโ€™am,โ€ a guy who canโ€™t be that much older than you smiles as he approaches,โ€œIโ€™ve been watching you sit alone here all night. You get stood up or somethinโ€™?โ€
โ€œNo,โ€ you smile sweetly, โ€œmy boyfriend is on his way. Heโ€™s just finishinโ€™ up some work at home.โ€
โ€œIโ€™d make you a priority over any work I have.โ€
โ€œWell, thatโ€™s very sweet of you, but heโ€™ll be here soon.โ€
โ€œYou sure you donโ€™t wanna make him jealous with a little dance?โ€
โ€œNo, I donโ€™t think that would turn out great for anyone,โ€ you smile as you start shifting uncomfortably. โ€˜Arvin and his temper are nothing to toy with, itโ€™s best not to test those watersโ€™ you think to yourself.
โ€œWhatโ€™s the danger in one dance?โ€ he eggs on, moving closer to you.
โ€œI believe the lady said no,โ€ Arvin interjects, hand on the guyโ€™s shoulder as he forces his attention onto him and away from you. You quickly stand up as the anger on his face is very apparent. โ€œOr did you not understand?โ€
โ€œYouโ€™re the one who ditched her, pal. Donโ€™t get mad at me because-โ€
โ€œLetโ€™s not do this tonight,โ€ you interrupt, standing between Arvinโ€™s temper and its target as well as the two men. โ€œI said no, youโ€™re here now, and thatโ€™s that. Letโ€™s all just go our own separate ways,โ€ you smile sweetly.
โ€œYouโ€™ll be sorry,โ€ the guy scoffs before stalking off.
โ€œHey...hey,โ€ you call to Arvin as his angry gaze follows the guy โ€œrelax. Everythinโ€™ is fine-โ€
โ€œHe been hasslinโ€™ you all night?โ€ he asks flatly.
โ€œNo, he just-โ€
โ€œWhy would you wear that?โ€ he asks, finally looking at your outfit.
โ€œI donโ€™t know, maybe โ€˜cause I thought you would like it,โ€ you snap back, feeling irritated and stupid at the same time, wishing you hadnโ€™t thrown your jacket in Timโ€™s bedroom. โ€œAre you just gonna be an ass the whole night, or are you gonna tell me whatโ€™s wrong?โ€
โ€œIโ€™m sorry,โ€ he sighs, picking up your beer and taking a swig โ€œitโ€™s nothinโ€™ youโ€™ve done. You look great and I love you....Lenora is acting strange and we canโ€™t figure out what the hell to do.โ€
โ€œStrange how?โ€
โ€œSheโ€™s closed off and sheโ€™s been sick a lot. Shes been spending more time with that preacher everyoneโ€™s so riled up about and now she just seems...something is wrong.โ€
โ€œWell did you-โ€
โ€œIโ€™m sorry, can we go somewhere else?โ€ he asks, a scowl on his face. โ€œIf I hear one more Johnny Cash song, Iโ€™m going to punch myself in the face.โ€
โ€œLet me grab my jacket and we can go.โ€
โ€œFuck, your car! Iโ€™m so sorry-โ€
โ€œIโ€™ll drive back to my parents house and we can just drive around. Maybe go to Lindaโ€™s. She never closes that damn diner.โ€
โ€œIโ€™m sorry.โ€
โ€œStop apologizinโ€™. Let me get my jacket and we can go,โ€ you smile at him.
You quickly grab your jacket and tell your few friends goodnight as Arvin practically drags you out of the house. When you get in your car and start it while waiting for Arvin, you canโ€™t help but laugh when โ€˜Jacksonโ€™ starts playing on the radio. Death, taxes, Jonny Cash: some things are inescapable.
The drive back to your house is quick and easy. Your parents are surprisingly still out at their dinner party, so you quickly run into your house and drop off your keys. You write them a quick note, leaving it on the kitchen table. The note tells them youโ€™ll be spending the night at Sarahโ€™s because they donโ€™t always need to know whole truths. You quickly slip out the front door and hop up into Arvinโ€™s pickup.
โ€œYou sure Iโ€™m not gettinโ€™ you into trouble?โ€ he asks as he pulls off quickly.
โ€œNo one is home, baby,โ€ you laugh, โ€œI left them a note saying Iโ€™m staying over at Sarahโ€™s.โ€
โ€œYou told Sarah?โ€
โ€œWhy wouldnโ€™t I?โ€
โ€œWhy would you?โ€
โ€œArvin, what is goinโ€™ on with you?โ€
โ€œNothinโ€™,โ€ he sighs, gripping the steering wheel tighter as he starts to drive faster.
โ€œDonโ€™t do that. Donโ€™t shut me out.โ€
โ€œIt would just be nice to see you and not be angry about somethinโ€™.โ€
โ€œOkay, but you are angry about somethinโ€™ right now and Iโ€™d rather know then not. Whatโ€™s going on?โ€
โ€œYou trust preachers?โ€ he asks, quickly glancing at you before returning his gaze back to the road.
โ€œArenโ€™t we supposed to?โ€
โ€œYou know what I mean,โ€ he huffs before turning into the parking lot of the local liquor store. โ€œIโ€™ll be right back.โ€
โ€œArvin-โ€
โ€œItโ€™ll only take a minute, baby,โ€ he sighs before getting out, hustling his way inside.
You sigh and sit back. Your mind racing as you try and figure out just what the hell is going on. You groan in frustration when you look to your left and see Sheriff Bodecker pulling up beside you. You look up to God and ask him what you did to deserve a day like this as the dirt in the parking lot kicks up into your vision.
โ€œYou know, underage drinking is a chargeable offense,โ€ he muses aloud as he gets out of his cop car.
โ€œLucky for me, Iโ€™m not drinking. As if you care,โ€
โ€œIt is my job.โ€
โ€œIt didnโ€™t seem like you cared about your job two months ago when you told me I can fuck you to keep my Daddyโ€™s business open,โ€ you crack back, eyes squinting as your glare sharpens.
โ€œHe still has $600 left to pay,โ€ he smirks, inching closer to Arvinโ€™s truck.
โ€œWell, lets hope he comes up with it.โ€
โ€œYou know, a lot of women would be-โ€
โ€œIs everythinโ€™ okay here?โ€ Arvin asks as he pulls the truck door open. โ€œSheriff, anythinโ€™ wrong?โ€
โ€œJust letting your lovely passenger know that her Daddy should come and see me when he gets the chance,โ€ he smiles sweetly, patting the door two times before noticing at the bag of booze in his hand. โ€œThat for you, boy?โ€
โ€œMy Uncle asked me to pick it up on my way back,โ€ Arvin lied coolly as you smile to yourself.
โ€œSure he did. You two have fun tonight, stay safe.โ€
โ€œWill do,โ€ Arvin fake smiles before starting his truck, pulling away, and driving off.
โ€œI swear to God, I could slit his throat,โ€ you mumble, digging into the bag of booze Arvin bought in and grabbing a beer. โ€œPiece of shit.โ€
โ€œWhat the hell happened back there?โ€
โ€œNothinโ€™ to worry about,โ€ you huff, taking a swig of your drink.
โ€œNo, if I donโ€™t get to shut you out, you donโ€™t get to shut me out.โ€
โ€œArvin-โ€
โ€œWhatโ€™s going on, Y/N?โ€
โ€œYou know my Daddy has a gambling problem.โ€
โ€œLose too much at Madame Duffyโ€™s again?โ€
โ€œWell yeah, but this time he lost too much to Sheriff Bodecker.โ€
โ€œThat must be a bitch.โ€
โ€œIt wasnโ€™t too bad, weโ€™ve been makinโ€™ good money at the meat shop lately, but Bodecker doesnโ€™t feel like heโ€™s getting paid back quick enough,โ€ you sigh, finishing off your beer before grabbing another.
โ€œWhat does that mean?โ€ Arvin growls as he grips the steering wheel tighter, knuckles whitening.
โ€œHe propositioned me,โ€ you laugh humorlessly. โ€œIf I fuck him, I can get rid of my Daddyโ€™s debt..โ€
His face tenses up like he swallowed some bad milk. โ€œHe said what?!โ€ Arvin questions, braking screaming as they the truck screeches to a swerving stop.
โ€œI donโ€™t want to think about it, Arvin. I-โ€
โ€œI swear to God Iโ€™ll kill him.โ€
โ€œBaby, Iโ€™m having a good time with you. I donโ€™t want to think about anything else. I just want us to focus on each other and right now,โ€ you smile as Hank Williams starts to play on the radio. โ€œLetโ€™s just be happy, okay? Tomorrow and all of its bullshit can worry about itself.โ€
โ€œI love you, you know that?โ€
โ€œI think I do,โ€ you giggle as you settle back into your seat and take a sip of your beer.
You met Arvin your first year of High School. He didnโ€™t much like people, and people didnโ€™t think highly of him either. Kids were cruel and would constantly poke fun at his upbringing: how his daddy was a deranged war vet who killed himself, and how his Mamaโ€™s cancer was the result of a punishment from God for his father almost killing two men one morning for reasons unknown. He was often in a lot of fights, and you had been told by your parents on more than one occasion to stay away from him.
โ€œBoys like that only bring trouble and thatโ€™s nothing you need to get messed up in,โ€ your Mama would say as she dropped you off at school.
You always found it funny that she had that mentality considering that her husband, your Daddy, is the biggest gambler in the county and, for a while, its biggest womanizer. However, you always bit your tongue and minded your manners. You knew she meant well so it was best for you to just keep your mouth shut and nod in agreement.
However, as time went on, your eyes always found themselves searching for him in class, and you found it harder and harder to heed your parents warning. His eyes always looked so tired and sad. He had soft facial features, but you could tell he was good with his hands just by looking at them. They always looked worn and calloused. He always made sure to use โ€œsirโ€ and โ€œmaโ€™amโ€ when addressing your parents whenever he went to your Daddyโ€™s meat shop to pick up food. You watched how he protected and looked out for Lenora, and it really got you thinking, โ€œhe canโ€™t be all that bad if he can love that much.โ€
During your Junior year, you finally found a reason to talk to him.
โ€œYour Uncle good with cars?โ€ you asked him one day after class, catching him as he was about to leave.
โ€œExcuse me?โ€
โ€œYour Uncle. How is he with cars?โ€
โ€œPretty good, usually.โ€
โ€œThink heโ€™d be willing to fix my Daddyโ€™s truck? Somethinโ€™ about a fan belt or other. Heโ€™ll pay him good money.โ€
โ€œIโ€™ll ask him when I get home,โ€ Arvin smiled.
โ€œHere, give my Daddy a call with your answer,โ€ you responded quickly, surprised your plan worked out so well. You tore out a piece of paper from your notebook and quickly wrote down your home phone number. โ€œBest time to call is around 6.โ€
โ€œIโ€™ll remember that,โ€ he smiled at you, taking the piece of paper from you and putting it in his front pocket.
โ€œThank you, Arvin,โ€ you smiled playfully before turning to walk away.
โ€œMy pleasure,โ€ he responded softly, looking you over before walking off in the other direction.
Your daddy wasnโ€™t pleased with you for going against his wishes, but itโ€™s not like he could really make any argument.
โ€œDo you have the money to pay Earl for it?โ€ you asked as you tidied up the shop.
โ€œY/N, mind your manners,โ€ your Mama snapped.
โ€œIโ€™m not sayinโ€™ anythinโ€™ wrong,โ€ you defended. โ€œWe need the truck for deliveries. If he canโ€™t afford Earl, weโ€™re gonna have to go to someone else. Arvinโ€™s Uncle wonโ€™t be expecting as much as Earl, if he even agrees. Heโ€™ll be doing you a favor.โ€
Your Daddy was thoughtful before he spoke. โ€œIf he decides to fix up the truck, I donโ€™t want you talkinโ€™ to that boy. Understand?โ€
โ€œYes sir,โ€ you sighed before removing your apron. โ€œIโ€™ve finished up here, so Iโ€™m gonna head home and start my homework.โ€
โ€œI want you to go straight home,โ€ your Mama quips. โ€œDinner is all ready, you just need to heat it up.โ€
โ€œYes maโ€™am.โ€
โ€œAnyone calls-โ€
โ€œI know, Mama,โ€ you sighed โ€œleave it on the notepad on the kitchen counter.โ€
โ€œIs that an attitude I hear?โ€
โ€œNo maโ€™am, but you tell me the same thing every day. I forgot one message one time-โ€
โ€œAnd look what a world of mess that caused.โ€
โ€œItโ€™s not my fault Daddy gambled away that money!โ€
โ€œDonโ€™t you sass me, young lady!โ€ your Mama snapped, spinning around quick. Daddy glared silently at the wall, biting his lower lip to keep quiet.
You thought of defending yourself, but it would only make things worse. โ€œYes Mama,โ€ you conceded softly, โ€œIโ€™ll see you when you get home.โ€
You heard her sigh as you went to leave and you knew she felt bad, but itโ€™s the same as always. Her frustration wasnโ€™t with you, it was with your Daddy and his inability to get his shit together. However, youโ€™re not allowed to live in your frustrations long. The phone rang at six o clock exactly, as soon as the grandfather clock started its chimes; you practically ran to answer it.
โ€œHello?โ€
โ€œY/N? Are you okay?โ€ Arvin asked a little worried.
โ€œIโ€™m fine, Iโ€™m fine. Just ran to make sure I didnโ€™t miss the phone,โ€ you laughed breathlessly. โ€œH-how are you?โ€
โ€œIโ€™m fine, yourself?โ€
โ€œIโ€™m fine.โ€
โ€œ....your Daddy home?โ€
โ€œUh no, he and my Mama wonโ€™t be home till 6:30.โ€
โ€œOh, I thought you said 6 was the best time to call. Iโ€™m-โ€
โ€œI did say 6. Iโ€™m home alone and done with my homework every day by 6.โ€
โ€œOh,โ€ he responded softly and you could hear the smile in his tone.
โ€œWhat did your Uncle say?โ€
โ€œHe said heโ€™d be happy to do it. Heโ€™ll talk prices when he sees the condition of the truck.โ€
โ€œWill you be cominโ€™ with him?โ€
โ€œI can.โ€
โ€œI-I think you should. You can help him, cause my Daddy is useless. Plus, knowinโ€™ my Mama, sheโ€™ll whip up somethinโ€™ as her way of sayinโ€™ thanks.โ€
โ€œWill you be there?โ€
โ€œI will,โ€ you smiled to yourself.
โ€œGuess Iโ€™ll see you tomorrow then.โ€
โ€œTomorrow it is,โ€ you almost sang before hanging up.
And thatโ€™s how it started.
He showed up with his Uncle the next day, bright and early, and you did your best to not stare too long. Your Daddy had been keeping an eye on you, only letting you go over to them when your Mama finished making a lunch for both Arvin and his Uncle. Since it was Saturday, you had pinned your hair up into a tidy ponytail and put on one of your better dresses. Your parents thought nothing of it since Saturdays were the busiest days. They always wanted you to look your best when helping out around the store.
Arvin could barely focus on the truck he was supposed to be helping his Uncle with.
The following Monday, he called at exactly 6 and you two stayed on the phone right up until your parents pulled into the driveway. Then he called the next night, and the next, and the next...
Finally, two weeks later, he sat next to you at lunch.
โ€œI like your dress,โ€ he commented softly after a beat.
โ€œAll the talks weโ€™ve had on the phone, and you start off with that?โ€
โ€œWell, this is different,โ€ he laughed, โ€œbesides, I know you arenโ€™t even supposed to be speakinโ€™ to me.โ€
โ€œI donโ€™t care.โ€
โ€œDonโ€™t start that. You donโ€™t need another reason for your Mama to start gettinโ€™ into you.โ€
โ€œAs if she needs a reason nowadays,โ€ you huffed. โ€œMy Daddyโ€™s been off trying to win back money he lost, and in the process heโ€™s just making it worse. Almost put the store out of business. Apparently, thatโ€™s also my fault for not pullinโ€™ my weight in the store.โ€
โ€œHavenโ€™t you been goinโ€™ in on Sundays?โ€
โ€œDoesnโ€™t matter. Still my fault.โ€
โ€œYouโ€™ll be out of there soon enough, Darlinโ€™,โ€ he sighed, taking your hand in his.
After that, you two were inseparable, much to the dismay of many of the guys at school.
โ€œBet your Daddy doesnโ€™t know youโ€™re fuckinโ€™ that Russell kid,โ€ spat Tyler, one of the most popular boys at school, as you started on your way home from your parents meat shop.
โ€œIโ€™m not doinโ€™ anythinโ€™ with anyone. You mind your business and stay away from me,โ€ you fire back.
You and Arvin really hadnโ€™t done anything. He was a gentleman, despite what the people in town thought, and he wanted to ask for permission to date you before anything happened between you two.
โ€œBet I can fuck you better than he can,โ€ he smirked.
โ€œLeave me alone, Higgins.โ€
โ€œAwh whatโ€™s wrong? Prettiest girl in the county getting worked up by-โ€
โ€œShe said to leave her alone,โ€ Arvin repeated as he slammed his car door shut.
โ€œThe fuck you gonna do about it, Russell?!โ€ Tyler yelled back.
Before you could get between the two of them, Arvinโ€™s fist blasted Tylerโ€™s face.
โ€œArvin stop!โ€ you yelled, standing back, trying to get away from the violent scene in front of you.
It was like he was another person; a transformation in plain sight. Tyler tried to fight back, but Arvin was on him like a bat out of hell. Tyler stumbled back but Arvin propped him up, only to shove him through one of the windowโ€™s of your parentโ€™s store.
โ€œArvin, thatโ€™s enough!โ€ you yelled, starting to cry. No, you hadnโ€™t particularly cared for Tyler Higgins, but the amount of blood that was everywhere had you feeling sympathetic for the giant asshole.
โ€œWhen a woman tells you to leave her alone, you leave her alone!โ€ he huffed, punching him again as your Daddy tried his best to pull him off of the now bloodied and badly beaten boy. โ€œNow apologize, to the woman!โ€
โ€œIโ€™m...Iโ€™m sorry!โ€ he tries to mumble through swollen lips.
โ€œIโ€™m sorry who?!โ€
โ€œIโ€™m sorry, Y/N!โ€
โ€œThatโ€™s more like it now. Donโ€™t ever do it again, you hearinโ€™ me?! Or I promise youโ€™ll be sorry,โ€ Arvin spat, before finally releasing the boy and watching him crumble to the ground in a heap.
Your Mama was instantly at the boyโ€™s side, trying to tend to his wounds, and make sure that he was okay.
โ€œIโ€™m real sorry about your window, Iโ€™ll pay for it as soon as I can,โ€ Arvin panted, facing your father, before turning his gaze on you. The sight of you shaking and crying truly broke his heart. You had been the first person outside of his family to treat him right and give a damn about him, and now you were just looking at him with pure fear in your eyes. He hadnโ€™t meant to lose control like that, but seeing someone make you that upset set him off. Now you were probably just as afraid of him as you had been of Tyler Higgins.
However, your Daddy was seeing things in a new light after that.
โ€œHe put that boy in the hospital,โ€ your Mama repeated later that night, exasperated as she took a sip of whiskey.
โ€œYeah he did, but that boy was makinโ€™ our little girl upset. The way he spoke to her...Iโ€™m just sayin, if that Arvin boy is gonna protect her like that, she can at least be friends with him.โ€
โ€œAnd how about the damn window?โ€
โ€œHe can work that off by fixinโ€™ things up around the shop. Said heโ€™d pay for it, but you know what itโ€™s like at that age-โ€
โ€œWe ainโ€™t got enough money for you to-โ€
โ€œGoddamit! Iโ€™ll make the money back, now enough about it!โ€
โ€œYou know what? Iโ€™m done trying to keep things afloat, you dumb son of a bitch!โ€ your Mama yells before getting up and storming off.
That was one of the loudest you can remember your house getting at night.
You kept your distance from Arvin for a while after that. You wouldnโ€™t even let him drive you to your parents meat shop after school, even though you were both headed in the same direction. He watched you with the saddest eyes; it really had broken your heart. However, you promised yourself youโ€™d never be with anyone who couldnโ€™t control their temper. Youโ€™d seen what blind rage could do a few times, when Daddy would lose his temper with your Mama. The cleanup afterwards was always gut wrenching and traumatizing. While you never thought Arvin would put his hands on you, you didnโ€™t want to risk it. You didnโ€™t want to be around any of it if you didnโ€™t have to.
However, as fate would have it, you two ended up alone in his car one evening. Your Daddy asked him to drive you home so you wouldnโ€™t have to walk in the pouring rain, which you appreciated because the rain was a deluge.
โ€œWell, thank you,โ€ you said softly as he pulled up to your parentโ€™s house.
โ€œY/N, please wait,โ€ he called softly, resting his hand on your arm.
โ€œArvin, the rain is gettinโ€™ worse and I donโ€™t want you to-โ€
โ€œPlease just...I am so sorry about what happened. You have no idea-โ€
โ€œItโ€™s like you werenโ€™t even yourself,โ€ you say, your voice sounding small to your own ears.
โ€œI know and Iโ€™m sorry. I try my hardest not to lose control but when I saw how uncomfortable you looked and how frightened...I just wanted to take care of you. I wasnโ€™t even supposed to be there, but I wanted to pick some food up for my grandmother...seeing you...how was I not supposed to react?โ€
โ€œYou canโ€™t lose control like that, Arvin.โ€
โ€œI know, I know. Iโ€™m so sorry. Iโ€™ve missed you so much and I love you...God, I love you so much. I promise-โ€
โ€œYou what?โ€ you interrupted, not believing you heard his admission correctly.
โ€œY/N, I love you so much. I didnโ€™t wanna say anythinโ€™ because weโ€™re still figurinโ€™ this out, but I swear to you...I do love you.โ€
You didnโ€™t even stop to think as you leaned across the console and cupped his face in your hands and kissed him. It hadnโ€™t dawned on you that he reacted out of wanting to protect you instead of reacting out of sheer jealousy. No one had ever really gotten to know you because they wanted to understand you, they just wanted to get in your pants. Arvin let you get to know him and he got to know you. He took the time to learn what you loved, what scared you, what made you happy, and what made you sad. He had held you close on multiple occasions at school, when you felt overwhelmed and started to cry. Heโ€™d even gone so far as to sneak into your house when everyone was asleep to make sure you were okay.
The more you thought about it, the more it all started to make better sense. Arvin truly did love you and you were finally allowing yourself to admit that you loved him.
But there was still that temper.
โ€œYou canโ€™t ever hurt me,โ€ you sob breathlessly as you two breakaway from each other.
โ€œDarlinโ€™, I would never do anythinโ€™ to hurt you,โ€ he responded softly, wiping your tears away.
โ€œArvin, I mean it. The minute you raise your hand to me, Iโ€™m walkinโ€™-โ€
โ€œHey, listen to me,โ€ he coaxed sincerely, โ€œI will never lose control on you like that. Iโ€™m not your Daddy, Y/N. I wonโ€™t gamble our future away, I wonโ€™t sleep with other women while youโ€™re at home waitinโ€™ for me, and I wonโ€™t ever hurt a hair on your head. I love you, Y/N. I swear Iโ€™ll never do anythinโ€™ to make you doubt that.โ€ He pulled you in for another kiss, but stopped short and pulled something from the backseat. โ€œI got these for you,โ€ he smiled, handing you a few lilies that he tied to together into a mini bouquet. โ€œ A small token of how sorry I really am.โ€
โ€œI love them,โ€ you beamed at him, taking in their scent.
โ€œI love you, Y/N,โ€
โ€œAnd I love you, Arvin.โ€
You brought him inside of the house after that, because the rain was relentless and there was no way you were letting him drive in such a downpour. Your parents called to let you know that they would be staying in the bedroom above the meat shop because the weather was so bad. You asked them if it was okay for Arvin to stay over since the storm wasnโ€™t going to let up anytime soon.
โ€œY/N-โ€
โ€œMama, Iโ€™ll feel awful if he drives home in this. You clearly know how bad it, cause you and Daddy arenโ€™t even coming home. Iโ€™ll sleep in your room and he can sleep in mine.โ€
โ€œIโ€™m sure heโ€™s a capable driver-โ€
โ€œJust let the boy stay over for goodness sake,โ€ your Daddy slurred in the background.
You heard your Mama let out a frustrated sigh and you knew she wasnโ€™t going to get her way. โ€œDonโ€™t do anything I wouldnโ€™t approve of.โ€
โ€œYes Mama. I love you.โ€
โ€œI love you,โ€ she responded softly before hanging up.
That night, you cooked up a few pieces of chicken and split leftover mashed potatoes between the two of you.
โ€œYour Mama teach you how to cook?โ€ Arvin asked, after making his third plate of food.
โ€œActually my grandmother did,โ€ you smiled. โ€œShe would let me stay at her house for a while when things got too out of control here.โ€
โ€œWell, she did an amazing job,โ€ he smiled at you.
Afterwords, you both sat out on the deck, drinking a small cup of gin while Arvin had a smoke and held you in his arms. You donโ€™t think youโ€™d ever felt so happy in your life. When it was time for you two to say goodnight, that proved to be harder than you expected.
โ€œThese should be okay,โ€ you smiled at him, handing him a pair of your Daddyโ€™s pajama pants.
โ€œSure you canโ€™t stay in here with me?โ€
โ€œAfter how hard it was for me to stop myself while we were on the couch, I think itโ€™s best for me to sleep in my parents room,โ€ you giggled, toying with your fingers.
โ€œI guess thatโ€™s fair,โ€ he smiled before walking up close and wrapping his arms around you. โ€œI love you.โ€
โ€œI love you,โ€ you smiled before kissing him.
Your arms were around him in no time and he holding you as close he could. When you felt him start to get excited, you knew you need to stop before it goes too far.
โ€œIโ€™m sorry,โ€ he laughed breathless, leaning his forehead against yours.
โ€œItโ€™s fine,โ€ you smiled โ€œI should be gettinโ€™ to bed anyway.โ€
โ€œGoodnight, Darlinโ€™.โ€
โ€œGoodnight,โ€ you smiled.
You tossed and turned in your parents bed for hours that night, trying to push out all of the thoughts your Mama would have made you repent for. But it was no use. It was around 2am when you found yourself walking to your bedroom.
โ€œHey,โ€ you called softly from the doorway, butterflies turning into moths inside your stomach.
โ€œCanโ€™t sleep either, huh?โ€ he laughed, turning over to see you.
He was laying shirtless in your bed and you knew that if didnโ€™t turn back in that moment, youโ€™d disappoint the hell out of your parents. But you couldnโ€™t find it in yourself to care. โ€œThink I can stay in here with you?โ€
โ€œYou sure thatโ€™s what you want?
โ€œI am.โ€
The moment you got under the covers, his lips were on yours and his fingers were exploring every inch of your body. You had done a few things, but nothing this intimate, and you had never been so excited. It didnโ€™t take Arvin long to get you undressed and begging beneath him.
โ€œHave a you ever done this before?โ€ he asked, looking down at you while stroking himself in his hand.
โ€œNo,โ€ you responded softly, suddenly feeling small.
โ€œItโ€™s okay, baby. I just want you to be sure this is what you want. I can stop if you need more time.โ€
โ€œN-no, I want this with you, tonight. Iโ€™m ready,โ€ you said, more to yourself than him.
He pressed two fingers into your greedy channel, and that had you moaning and rolling your hips against his. โ€œShit, Iโ€™m trying to get you ready for me, Darlinโ€™,โ€ he rasped, closing his eyes and quickening his pace.
โ€œFeels so good,โ€ you moan beneath him, squirming as something inside you started to build up. โ€œArvin...I...I-โ€
โ€œThatโ€™s okay Sweetheart, just hang on to me,โ€ he breathed, trying to keep a steady pace as you gripped his arms and dug your nails in.
You let out a pitiful moan when you felt a wave of pleasure wash over you. You watched as the beautiful boy above you was doing his best to make this as enjoyable for you as possible, but his face was the true testament to how hard he was trying to contain himself. He dipped down and started to kiss on your neck, doing his best to not mark you up, as he continued to fuck into you with his fingers. When he started to trail hungry kisses down to your breasts, that had you weeping for him and pulling at his hair.
He took one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking and licking on it like it was his most favorite candy in the world. He used his thumb to make little circles on your clit, and you couldnโ€™t believe the words that were coming out of your mouth. Your body felt it was being hit with waves of electricity all at once and you didnโ€™t want it to stop. You needed more of him.
โ€œBaby please,โ€ you pathetically begged, after he brought you off for a second time.
It was the first time showing the wicked grin that earned you his love.
โ€œYou sure youโ€™re ready?โ€
โ€œArvin please,โ€ you whined โ€œI need you so much, please!โ€
He kissed his way slowly up your body, his ego loving how desperate and needy you were for him to break him apart in a new way. However, your begging and desperate cries soon turn into painful hisses and choked breaths when he replaces his fingers slowly with his cock.
That had him feeling terrible.
โ€œIโ€™m sorry, baby,โ€ he cooed into your ear, before kissing your cheek. โ€œIโ€™m so sorry.โ€
โ€œHoly fuck!โ€ you cried out, feeling him stretch you out in the most painful way youโ€™ve ever felt.
โ€œWant me to stop?โ€
โ€œNo no, I-I can handle it,โ€ you sobbed out.
โ€œItโ€™ll feel so good, I swear,โ€ he coaxed, kissing away your tears that you were trying to stop from falling.
You closed your eyes and tried to focus on anything other than the pain, as he continued to plow slowly within you. You didnโ€™t think it would get any better, and you were thinking that youโ€™d never wanna do it again, until something inside you burst. After a few more uncomfortable thrusts, the pain was starting to get replaced by something more euphoric.
โ€œOh my God,โ€ you moaned, your grip on his shoulders tightening. โ€œBaby...oh fuck!โ€
โ€œYeah?โ€ he smirked down at you. โ€œFeelinโ€™ better?โ€ he asked, picking up the pace.
โ€œPlease donโ€™t stop,โ€ you begged, clawing at his back.
โ€œNever needed someone so much,โ€ he groaned, sliding a finger between you two and starting to rub your clit.
โ€œFuck!โ€ you mewled, your legs wrapping around him instinctively, clenching your eyes shut at the added pleasure.
โ€œI love you so much, Y/Nโ€ he huffed, rubbing faster as he starts fucking you desperately, like heโ€™s afraid youโ€™ll disappear in a moment. โ€œIโ€™ll never do anything to scare you like that again,โ€ he promised, before dipping down and kissing you.
His kiss swallowed your pathetic moans as he brought you off again, loving the way you seemed to melt beneath him. Once your grip on him loosened a bit, he was back to assaulting your neck with his tongue. You gripped his hair, feeling your body starting to tighten again.
โ€œI donโ€™t think I can take much moreโ€ you whimpered, your body feeling numb from all the pleasure coursing through you.
โ€œPlease, just one more time for me,โ€ he pleads, his own movements becoming erratic. โ€œI love the way you come apart for me, Darlinโ€™. The way this pussy responds to me,โ€ he moans.
โ€œArvin...oh my fuck!โ€ you moaned at his dirty words, clenching around him in a desperate vice.
โ€œCanโ€™t believe you chose me, canโ€™t believe you love me,โ€ he huffed, his grip tightening on your waist.
โ€œI love you so much,โ€ you whimpered, the knot in your core becoming tighter. โ€œCanโ€™t hold on.โ€
โ€œGive it to me, Darlinโ€™. Itโ€™s okay,โ€ he cooed as you screamed his name beneath him.
A feeling like nothing youโ€™d ever felt before washed over you in multiple waves. It was beyond pleasure and you almost felt like you werenโ€™t in your own body. Arvinโ€™s own pornographic yells are what brought you back down, as he continued to thrust into you. He rode out both of your orgasms, before collapsing softly onto your body. He rested his head on your chest, listening to to your heartbeat slowdown, as you both tried to regulate your breathing.
After a few moments, he slowly pulls out and you moan in dissatisfaction at the emptiness that now takes his place.
โ€œWhereโ€™s your bathroom, Sweetheart?โ€ he asked, standing up and pulling his boxers on.
โ€œDown the hall on your right,โ€ you yawned, looking him over with a small smile on your face. He was so fucking beautiful.
As he walked out, you think about what just happened and what it means. Sure, you and him had been a couple for a while (as far as you were concerned), but you just gave yourself to him. All of yourself. He can tell you he loves you as much as he wants, but that doesnโ€™t stop the anxiety from creeping in. Youโ€™re sure that your Daddy told your Mama that he loved her a million times before ruining her life. However, when he made his way back into your room, damp cloth in hand, your fears had no choice but to fall away.
You hiss when you feel the warm cloth between your legs and on your most sensitive nerve. โ€œIโ€™m sorry, Darlinโ€™โ€
โ€œI just want you to hold me,โ€ you whined, not caring how pathetic you sounded.
โ€œAs you wish,โ€ he laughed before he grabbed his pack of cigarettes and a light, as he gets back in bed next to you, pulling you close to him. โ€œHow are you feelinโ€™?โ€ he asked, placing a cigarette in-between his lips and lighting it.
โ€œPerfect,โ€ you smiled as you laid your head on his chest.
โ€œYeah?โ€
โ€œMhm, I love you,โ€ you responded softly, kissing his chest.
โ€œI love you,โ€ he laughed softly, before taking a drag of his cigarette before removing it and kissing the top of your head.
You were thoughtful before you spoke. โ€œI donโ€™t want anyone to know.โ€
โ€œWhat? Y/N-โ€
โ€œJust here me out,โ€ you quickly interrupted. โ€œI donโ€™t want my parents givinโ€™ us their unwanted opinions.โ€
โ€œYour Daddy likes me now.โ€
โ€œMy Mama doesnโ€™t. She doesnโ€™t like or trust you, and I donโ€™t want her giving you a hard time.โ€
โ€œI can handle it,โ€ he sighed, taking another drag from his cigarette.
โ€œI know you can, but you donโ€™t deserve it. I donโ€™t want it to be a secret forever, just until we graduate. Then we can just leave. We donโ€™t have to stay here and put up with it.โ€
โ€œYou wanna leave with me after school?โ€
โ€œWhy wouldnโ€™t I?โ€
โ€œItโ€™s not movinโ€™ too fast for you?โ€ he asked, looking down at you.
โ€œDid you mean what you said earlier?โ€
โ€œYou know I did.โ€
โ€œThen itโ€™s not movinโ€™ fast at all,โ€ you replied softly. โ€œItโ€™s not easy...the feelings and fears I have, but I also know that Iโ€™ve never felt so happy or so loved. Things havenโ€™t been easy for either of us, but when weโ€™re together...I donโ€™t feel as heavy or scared. I donโ€™t feel like Iโ€™m doomed to be miserable.โ€
โ€œI make you feel that way?โ€
โ€œYou make me feel better than anyone else ever has,โ€ you smiled up at him.
He kissed the top of your head before resting his head on top of yours and taking a drag from his cigarette. โ€œIโ€™m fine with waitinโ€™ as long as youโ€™re sure this is what you want.โ€
โ€œIโ€™m positive.โ€
When you woke up the next day, Arvin was gone but he had left you a small note.
โ€˜I figured it would be best for me to leave now then stick around and rip myself away from you when you wake up. I love you, see you soon.โ€™
He left the note next to the lilies heโ€™d put together for you. When your parents came back home that day, your Daddy suspected nothing while your Mama was continuously eyeing you.
It didnโ€™t matter to you though, because you had Arvin and he loved you. You two tried to be as discreet as possible, only embracing one another when you two were alone and only making love in the backseat of his car or when he was able to sneak you into his house (with the promise that youโ€™d do your best to keep quiet).
You sat next to each other in every class you could, you sat a row behind him at church, and you went to every school function together (though you two only met up together when it came to dances).
Yes, everything between you and Arvin had been going smoothly and you couldnโ€™t wait for your future together.
However, his temper still got the best of him.
โ€œLenora told me about the fight you got into the other day,โ€ you sigh, getting comfy in the bed of his pickup, looking up at the stars.
โ€œLenora needs to keep her damn mouth shut,โ€ he snaps, closing the back door of his truck. He throws two blankets in the back with you, placing the bag of booze next to you before hopping up inside the truck bed next to you. โ€œShe had no right to tell you anythinโ€™.โ€
โ€œYou shouldโ€™ve told me, Arvin.โ€
โ€œWhy? So you can be mad at me like you are now?โ€
โ€œBecause you made me a promise that youโ€™d get your temper under control.โ€
โ€œTheyโ€™re not dead, are they?โ€
โ€œOne of em was damn near close,โ€ you say in protest.
โ€œBut he isnโ€™t,โ€ Arvin snaps at you and you just roll your eyes.
โ€œWhatever,โ€ you say, opening the bottle of gin and taking a swig.
โ€œYouโ€™re really gonna stay mad at me now?โ€
โ€œIโ€™m not anything towards you, Arvin. If you donโ€™t see the problem, what the hell do I need to tell you?โ€
โ€œDonโ€™t you do that.โ€
โ€œIโ€™m not doinโ€™ anything.โ€
โ€œYouโ€™re shuttinโ€™ me out.โ€
โ€œNo Iโ€™m not,โ€ you huff. โ€œIโ€™m tired of havinโ€™ the same talks with you. You canโ€™t just fly off the handle whenever-โ€
โ€œI didnโ€™t! Theyโ€™ve been botherinโ€™ and bullyinโ€™ her the same way Tyler was to you-โ€
โ€œWe all know what you did to Tyler,donโ€™t we?โ€
โ€œAnd has he bothered you since?โ€
โ€œYou made your point.โ€™
โ€œHave I?โ€
โ€œDonโ€™t be an asshole, Arvin.โ€ you sigh, pulling away from him as he tries to hold you.
โ€œYouโ€™re really mad at me, arenโ€™t you?โ€
โ€œNot mad. More disappointed, thatโ€™s all-.โ€
โ€œY/N-โ€
โ€œWeโ€™ve talked about gettinโ€™ married, Arvin.โ€
โ€œWe are gettinโ€™ married,โ€ he smiles at you, motioning towards your jacket pocket.
โ€œExactly, weโ€™re gettinโ€™ married and youโ€™re still keepinโ€™ secrets from me.โ€
โ€œI just didnโ€™t see the point-โ€
โ€œYou didnโ€™t want me to know because you didnโ€™t want me gettinโ€™ mad.โ€
โ€œCan you blame me?โ€ he asks, a shy smile playing on his lips.
โ€œArvin-โ€
โ€œI know, okay? I have to do better, I have to tell you everythinโ€™ or-โ€
โ€œOr you lose me,โ€ you state as if itโ€™s the most simple thing in the world.
โ€œOkay fine,โ€ he sighs, laying back and propping himself up on his elbows. โ€œTell you everything or let you go. Now, come here,โ€ he smiles, pulling on the back of your dress.
Arvin had proposed to you 4 weeks ago and you didnโ€™t hesitate to tell him yes. Your celebration was short lived, mainly because he proposed to you right after school let out and you both had work to do. He promised as soon as you both graduated, the first thing he was gonna do was take you to the courthouse and make you his wife. You couldnโ€™t wear the ring yet (for obvious reasons), but you kept in your jacket pocket. Maybe thatโ€™s why the thought of your parents knowing about two of you didnโ€™t seem so scary anymore. You two were as committed to each other as two people could be, and you had talked about your future. Things were going well and you had faith that your lives wouldnโ€™t be anything like your parentsโ€™.
โ€œWeโ€™re gonna get caught if we keep doinโ€™ this in the middle of Mr. Higgins cornfield,โ€ you moan as Arvin trails kisses down your neck.
โ€œAs long as we keep wakinโ€™ up before him, weโ€™ll be fine,โ€ he smirks beneath you, his hands sliding up your dress. โ€œYouโ€™re not wearinโ€™-โ€
โ€œItโ€™s been too long,โ€ you smirk, sitting up and straddling him.
โ€œI had to stay away, you know that,โ€ he groans, pulling off his shirt and looking up at you. โ€œI really do like that dress,โ€he says breathlessly.
โ€œYeah?โ€ you question slowly unbuttoning it. โ€œMy Mama made it for me.โ€
โ€œIโ€™ll have to remember to thank her,โ€ he moans, eyes watching your every move intensely.
โ€œGuess so,โ€you moan, feeling him harden beneath you as you slowly let the straps slowly down your arms; your dress pools around your waist.
โ€œYou are so fuckinโ€™ beautiful, Darlinโ€™โ€, he husks as his hands travel up your sides, his finger tips light as feathers on your skin.
โ€œMissed having you like this,โ€ you smile before you start grinding your hips into him. โ€œBelow me,โ€ you moan โ€œdesperate.โ€
โ€œDonโ€™t tease me,โ€ he warns, his grip on you tightening. โ€œYou know what happens when you do.โ€
โ€œThatโ€™s exactly why Iโ€™m doing it,โ€ you sigh, continuing to grind on him as you place your hands on his chest. โ€œFuck, I canโ€™t...shit!โ€ you moan as you cum on his jeans.
โ€œCanโ€™t wait anymore,โ€ he growls, hands fumbling with his belt while you push yourself up a little so he can get his pants down. โ€œGotta be inside you,โ€ he groans, getting his pants down and himself free.
You both moan as you slowly sink yourself down on him, letting him split you apart the way you love the most.
โ€œWe should almost get caught by your parents more often,โ€ he rasps with a softy laugh, as you start riding him.
โ€œDonโ€™t even,โ€ you moan, looking down as your hair falls in front of your face. โ€œI never wanna be without you that long again. I hate sleeping without you.โ€
โ€œSoon...soon...fuck! Just like that!โ€ he moans as start to quicken your pace, rolling your hips against his. His hands make their way up your body and soon enough his hands are massaging your breasts, him kneading your nipples between his fingers every so often.
โ€œArvin,โ€ you moan so softly you arenโ€™t sure he even hears you.
โ€œSo fuckinโ€™ sexy,โ€ he growls, watching you use him to get you to the place of bliss you can only reach when heโ€™s loving you. โ€œCanโ€™t wait to make you my wife.โ€
โ€œBaby, Iโ€™m so close!โ€ you mewl, your finger nails digging into his chest.
โ€œGive it to me, Y/N,โ€ he growls, โ€œwent so long not being able to watch you fall apart!โ€
โ€œFuck!โ€ you cry out, cumming hard and almost losing your balance.
โ€œSuch a good girl,โ€ he growls, before wrapping his arms around your waist.
In one swift move heโ€™s upright, and youโ€™re settling down on his lap. โ€œFuck!โ€
โ€œDo you know how hard it is just watch you like that and not take over?โ€ he growls, thrusting into you while his hands travel all over your back.
โ€œI love the way you watch me, like...like Iโ€™m the most beautiful thing youโ€™ve ever seen,โ€ you moan, your hands finding perches on his shoulders as you wrap your legs around him.
โ€œThatโ€™s because you are,โ€ he huffs before planting kisses all over neck and chest. โ€œYou are so precious to me. Iโ€™ll never stop loving you.โ€
โ€œI love...love you...Arvin, Iโ€™m gonna-โ€
โ€œI need you to right now,โ€ he grunts, gripping your hair tight, pulling with just enough force to send you over that cliff of mind numbing pleasure.
He soon follows right over that cliff, screaming your name along with a few other obscenities. You both cling to each other, sweat dripping from both your foreheads, listening to each others gasping breaths.
โ€œIโ€™m sorry I didnโ€™t tell you and Iโ€™m sorry it happened,โ€ Arvin says after a moment. โ€œI know my temper scares you and in all honesty, it scares me too. I am terrified of losinโ€™ you and thatโ€™s why I didnโ€™t say anything.โ€
โ€œKeepinโ€™ things from me only makes it worse,โ€ you sigh, looking down at him.
โ€œI promise I wonโ€™t keep anythinโ€™ from you ever again, but you canโ€™t leave me. I wouldnโ€™t be able to handle it if you did,โ€ he confesses meeting your gaze.
โ€œIโ€™m ainโ€™t goinโ€™ anywhere, Arvin,โ€ you promise before pressing a soft kiss to his lips.
โ€œI love you.โ€
โ€œAnd I love you.โ€
You both stay like that for a moment later, before you both reluctantly decide itโ€™s best for you both to get some sleep instead of going for another round. He cleans you up with his old white t-shirt before laying down one of the blankets and handing you the other to wrap yourself up in. He uses his denim button up and your dress as makeshift pillows for the both of you as you lay down. You open up the blanket just a bit for him to get under, closer to you.
As you start to drift into dreamland you faintly hear Arvin whispering things to you. You want to ask him what heโ€™s saying, but youโ€™re too tired. Right before you lose consciousness, you faintly hear โ€œthere ainโ€™t a thing I wouldnโ€™t do for you. I will always love you and I will always protect you.โ€
You succumb to darkness knowing that no matter what the future holds, itโ€™ll be fine. As long as youโ€™re with Arvin, nothing could ever be wrong.
**
Youโ€™re awoken by Arvin planting soft kisses up and down your cheek. You laugh and roll over into him, laying your head on his chest and arms across his waist.
โ€œFive more minutes,โ€ you smile and he laughs.
โ€œIโ€™m gonna be in enough trouble as it is, besides, I told my grandma Iโ€™d help her and Lenora set up for that thing today.โ€
โ€œFine fine,โ€ you sigh, finally opening your eyes and looking up at him. The way the sunlight is hitting his eyes has your heart melting. โ€œYou are so beautiful.โ€
โ€œYouโ€™re one to talk,โ€ he laughs before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.
You both take your time getting up and dressed, enjoying the silence of the early morning. Arvin throws his t-shirt in the backseat as you settle into the passenger side and buckle up. As he starts his truck you think you see someone coming, but when you look again, theyโ€™re gone and Arvin is quickly pulling away.
He reluctantly drops you off at Lindaโ€™s diner, but promises to see you later and kisses you deeply before pulling off.
You feel like youโ€™re on a cloud the whole day. You donโ€™t even get irritated when your Mama starts questioning why youโ€™ve been sleeping over your friends so often. You tell her that with the way her and Daddy have been arguing lately, you just think itโ€™s better to spend as little time as possible there. She wants to press the matter further, but the store is extremely busy and thereโ€™s no time.
However, your good day comes an end at about 6 in the evening, when your Mama gets a call at the shop. Lenora hung herself earlier in the day and Arvin was the one who found her.
You canโ€™t stop yourself as you grab the keys to the truck and run out the store. You need to see him. You need to be there for him. You know your parents are in the car behind you, probably wondering what in the sam-hell is wrong with you, but you donโ€™t care. Nothing else matters except Arvin.
When you finally get to his grandmotherโ€™s house, his Uncle is sitting on the chair on the front porch. โ€œHeโ€™s in his room,โ€ he says in the most somber tone youโ€™ve ever heard. When he sees the guilt in your eyes he quickly waives his hand. โ€œHe needs you.โ€
You nod before running into the house. When you open the door to his room, the scene in front of you breaks your heart. โ€œBaby?โ€
Arvin looks up at you with tear shot eyes, tears still streaming down his face. โ€œI shouldโ€™ve been here,โ€ he whimpers through his cries.
โ€œBaby no,โ€ you coo, running over to him and wrapping your arms around him.
โ€œI shouldโ€™ve been here,โ€ he sobs again, wrapping his arms around you.
โ€œYou didnโ€™t know, Arvin. There was no way to know,โ€ you respond, your own tears gently dropping now.
Your Mama comes to his doorway, ready to yell at you for the inappropriate outburst and current scene in front of her, but all of that changes when she sees him holding you and crying hard.
No one protests when you tell them youโ€™re going to stay the night. Youโ€™re his only comfort and your parents just donโ€™t feel right making you leave his side.
โ€œIโ€™ll never forgive myself,โ€ he sobs, as you both lay in his bed at night, with your head resting on his chest.
โ€œBaby, thatโ€™s not what Lenora would want. You took such good care of her and loved her so much. She isnโ€™t blaming any of this on you,โ€ you say softly, trying to calm him.
โ€œThank you for being here with me tonight,โ€ he sniffs, looking down at you and pressing a soft kiss to your head.
โ€œAs if Iโ€™d be anywhere else,โ€ you respond softly, looking up to meet his mournful gaze.
You both slowly fall asleep to the sounds of his soft sobs, your heart both heavy with guilt and mourning.
**
2 months later
In the days that followed Lenoraโ€™s death, you did your best to comfort Arvin. You were more sure than ever that your parents had pieced together that you two were together, but you didnโ€™t have it in you to give much of a shit. Arvin was doing his best to hold it together and you were doing your best to be there for him. If that meant pissing off your Mama, then so be it. You only had a month or so left until you and Arvin could get married anyway.
Arvin lost interest in school and eventually just stopped coming. He quit his job at the gas station and became a carpenter. He told you that it was because he needed to save up money for a proper place for the both of you, but you knew better. He couldnโ€™t take going to that school and not seeing Lenora all while being forced around the people who tormented her the worst. You knew heโ€™d lose control.
He was doing his best to keep his temper at bay, but the more time went on, the more he found out information that made him want to do things he knew better than to do.
He was desperately trying to keep his promise to you.
โ€œShe was pregnant!โ€ he yelled after you got into his car one day, picking you up from Sarahโ€™s house.
โ€œWhat?โ€
โ€œLenora was pregnant, and I bet you anythinโ€™ it was that son of a bitch Preston!โ€
โ€œArvin-โ€
โ€œI know, Y/N. I know it was him and I bet you anythinโ€™ she told him!โ€
โ€œHow do you know she was pregnant?โ€
โ€œOfficer Meyers told me when I got back from work.โ€
โ€œShit,โ€ you muttered, running a hand through your hair. โ€œArvin-โ€
โ€œIf I just wanted to leave with you one day, would you go?โ€
โ€œWhat?โ€
โ€œIf I just came to get you one night...would you come with me?โ€
โ€œYou know I would.โ€
โ€œYou sure? You could just pick up and leave?โ€
โ€œWhat are you-โ€
โ€œAre you sure you could? Itโ€™s a lot to ask and I know-โ€
โ€œArvin, I would go anywhere for you.โ€
โ€œI love you,โ€ he sighed as pulled up to your house, you both finding your Mama standing on the porch, hands on her hips. โ€œShit.โ€
โ€œIโ€™ll deal with her, donโ€™t worry about it. You go home and try to rest. I love you,โ€ you smiled before getting out of the car.
You slowly made your way up the walk way, feeling small under the intensity of your motherโ€™s gaze. โ€œGoodnight Y/N,โ€ Arvin called from his car. โ€œYou too maโ€™am,โ€ he motioned towards your Mama.
โ€œYou get home safe, Arvin. My prayers and well wishes to your grandmother,โ€ she responded, not taking her eyes off of you.
The minute you two got into the house, she laid into you.
โ€œYouโ€™re sleepinโ€™ with that boy!โ€ she yelled as soon as she closed the door behind her.
โ€œMama, Iโ€™m not-โ€
โ€œDonโ€™t you dare lie to your Mama, girl,โ€ she warned, following you into the kitchen. โ€œMr. Higgins told me he saw Arvin leavinโ€™ his cornfield the day Lenora hung herself. He said there was a girl in his car and heโ€™s pretty sure he it was you! Everyone sees you both around town all the time! I know what-โ€
โ€œYou donโ€™t know anythinโ€™, Mama! You just donโ€™t like him!โ€
โ€œHeโ€™s gonna get you pregnant and ruin your life!โ€
โ€œJust like Daddy got you pregnant and ruined yours?!โ€
โ€œYouโ€™re too young for-โ€
โ€œIโ€™m graduatinโ€™ in a few months, Mama! Iโ€™m graduatinโ€™ and gettinโ€™ the hell out of here!โ€
โ€œAnd just where do you think youโ€™re goinโ€™?! College?!โ€
โ€œAnywhere is better than here!โ€ you yelled, tears coming down your face.
โ€œYouโ€™ll see! When that boy ruins your life, youโ€™ll come back cryinโ€™!โ€ she yelled up the steps after you.
The only issue? You had lied to her. You were pregnant. You had planned to tell Arvin when he picked you up from Sarahโ€™s, but he was already so fired up. ย You telling him that after he had just told you Lenora was pregnant when she killed herself was definitely not in your best interest.
You went to bed that night telling yourself that youโ€™d tell Arvin the next day.
However, you didnโ€™t see him the next day, or the day after that, or after that.
You went a week without seeing him before you heard. Pastor Preston had been killed, Arvin was responsible, and heโ€™d fled town. You didnโ€™t want to believe it, but in your heart and in your gut you knew it was true. You cried yourself to sleep that night, because somewhere in the back of your mind, you knew it was only a matter of time before it happened.
You few days later, you heard Sheriff Bodeckerโ€™s sister and her husband had been killed. Both had been shot to death. There was a terrible feeling in your stomach that told you Arvin was responsible. However, you knew him and you knew there had to be a reason. Arvin may have been hot headed, but he wouldnโ€™t have flown off the handle (let alone murder two people) without a reason.
A few days later, it was announced that Sheriff Bodecker was killed, with photos of what his sister and her husband been up to found at the scene. You could feel it in your bones that Arvin was responsible for that too, based on where they found Bodecker.
You wanted to be angry with him. You wanted to hate him. But you couldnโ€™t. Arvin was your best friend. Your soul mate. You couldnโ€™t just turn that off, even with knowing what he was capable of.
The same thoughts were racking your brain that had been for 2 months. Arvin was gone and graduation was two weeks away. Since youโ€™re only 2 months pregnant, itโ€™s easy enough to hide the truth, and you want to keep it that way. No one in this dead end town needs to know.
You have enough money saved for you to get out and move away, but youโ€™d need to work forever to support yourself and the baby. It would be worth it though. Youโ€™d be free of this town and all of its ghosts.
โ€œY/N?โ€ a deep voice asks, creeping into your room, causing you to jump.
โ€œArvin?! What the fuck?!โ€ you whisper yell, forcing yourself to sit up.
โ€œI know, I know I have so much to explain, but we have to go. And now,โ€ he sighs, frantically searching your room, probably looking for a bag to pack some clothes in.
โ€œWhat the...no! You donโ€™t just get to come back here after months of being gone and just expect me to leave with you!โ€
โ€œBaby, I know-โ€
โ€œDonโ€™t fucking โ€˜babyโ€™ me! You shot and killed a man, then ran off, killed more people, and then just fucking kept going! You left me!โ€
โ€œI had to!โ€ he sighs, finally finding a bag, despite you telling him no. โ€œIf I wouldโ€™ve gotten caught and youโ€™d been with me, they wouldโ€™ve thought you had something to do with it!โ€
โ€œArvin-โ€
โ€œI got us a place and I fixed it up nice! Itโ€™s far from here, but itโ€™s ours. Itโ€™s our home. Iโ€™m riskinโ€™ everythinโ€™ to be here right now, but youโ€™re worth it. Youโ€™re worth everythinโ€™ and I-โ€
โ€œIโ€™m pregnant, Arvin,โ€ you admit softly.
That had him stopping in his tracks.
โ€œWhat?โ€
โ€œIโ€™m two months pregnant,โ€ you repeat, turning your gaze away from him.
โ€œBaby, thatโ€™s great!โ€ he gushes, dropping the bag and rushing to your side. โ€œWe can-โ€
โ€œArvin, youโ€™re a wanted man. We canโ€™t just leave like nothinโ€™ happened.โ€
โ€œWhy canโ€™t we? Why canโ€™t we just start our lives together?โ€
โ€œBecause weโ€™re still kids ourselves! Because you murdered 4 people! Youโ€™re a murderer and-โ€
โ€œI promise that Iโ€™ll explain all of it in the car, just please come with me,โ€ he begs desperately.
You donโ€™t know why you tried to fight it, because thereโ€™s really only way this is going to go.
You get up and quietly start getting dressed while Arvin resumes packing your clothes. You watch him pack the few trinkets that actually mean something to you, before grabbing they money youโ€™ve been saving over the years while working for your parents. You take a look around your room and sigh.
This is the last time youโ€™re ever going to be in it.
You both quietly make your way down the steps and you stop to leave a note for your parents on the notepad on the kitchen counter. When you get outside, Arvin helps you inside the pickup truck. He quietly closes the door and runs over to his side, quickly closing his door and driving off.
He starts talking about everything that happened, while you watch your parents house become smaller and smaller in the rear-view mirror, coming to terms with the choice that youโ€™ve made and the new life youโ€™re about to begin.
โ€œAs for Bodeckerโ€™s sister, I didnโ€™t know-โ€
โ€œI donโ€™t wanna talk about that now, Arvin,โ€ you sigh, deciding that all of it could wait for another day. โ€œTell me about our place.โ€
โ€œYou wanna hear about...that?โ€ he asks, tone of surprise very apparent.
โ€œI wanna hear about our future, our home, our life together,โ€ you softly smile, looking over at him and taking his free hand in yours.
โ€œI love you, Y/N.โ€
โ€œ& I love you, Arvin,โ€ you hum.
As he drives on, you listen happily and force your worries out of your mind. You couldnโ€™t leave Arvin. You couldnโ€™t leave him and you wouldnโ€™t. Arvin could be walking into depths of hell and youโ€™d be right there beside him, holding his hand. Youโ€™d follow him anywhere, even into the dark.
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thollandgifs ยท 2 years
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"Anything."
TOM HOLLAND as ARVIN RUSSELL in The Devil All The Time (2020) dir. Antonio Campos
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lilbardipack ยท 2 years
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The Devil All The Time pack
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filmesbrazil ยท 3 years
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athenaeum-simps ยท 3 years
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Credit:- @grimyfrightz on Instagram
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yesttoheaven ยท 4 years
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GOOD GIRLS GO TO HELL
CHAPTER 1
pairing: arvin russell x female!reader
summary: In the eyes of extremely strict parents, 'good' girls go to hell, but they don't know that they are handing over their own daughter to the devil โ€“ known to all as Rev. Teagardin.
wc: 3.8k
warnings: language, mentions (not depictions) of abuse, manipulation, religious fanaticism, angst
a/n: This idea has been on my mind since the day I watched the movie, so... here we go!
English is not my first language. I am getting help from google translator and he is not always a good ally, so I apologize for any typos or grammar errors.
Y/N โ€“ your name
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"I don't usually interfere that way. It would be best if she came here willingly. She needs to be open to accept all the blessings that God will bring to her life." Rev. Teagardin took a step forward, considering the request of a mother and father completely desperate for the salvation of their only daughter.
"We tried everything. We found great references about a boarding school called 'Good Pastor', but a week later they called to report that she had run away! Our daughter appeared a few days later in the company of three strange girls. One of them is a single mother, our Y/N shouldn't hang out with those kind of people." The woman's words contained disgust. She was tired of watching her daughter ruin her own life. The girl had become a topic of conversation in the town and a shame for the whole family.
"The truth is, we don't know what to do with Y/N. Day after day she becomes more rebellious. She doesn't respect us." Mr. Henson shared the same agony as his wife, but both see Preston as the solution to this problem.
"We don't want our only daughter to go to hell! You need to help us, Reverend. We believe that you are the only one capable of driving the devil out of her. In the name of God, save our little Y/N!"
In absolute silence, the preacher walked near the window, watching Y/N. She was sitting on the hood of Mr. Henson's car and her body was lulled by the gentle breeze that touched the skirt of the dress she wore, revealing her legs that should have been silky smooth. Smiling, the man looked at the girl's parents, knowing exactly what to do to save Y/N's soul.
"I'm glad you came to me. God will be my guide to help your daughter. Now, I would like to talk to her for a while."
Extremely grateful, Y/N's parents agreed and left the church for a few seconds. When they returned, Y/N was with them. The girl's curious eyes moved from side to side, until they found Preston Teagardin with his hands on his hips. He was at the altar, the cross appearing behind his head left him with a divine aura, but the girl remembers the day she saw the preacher humiliate โ€“ indirectly โ€“ the chicken liver dish that Emma Russell prepared with such affection. If he said those horrible things to a religious woman like Emma, Y/N didn't want to imagine what he might be thinking about her at the moment. Maybe he was wondering why she hasn't started to burn while walking on sacred ground, but it was him who was burning. Burning with desire. A sin that he identifies in others, but never in himself.
"Hello, you must be Y/N." The man approached, his eyes shining like a hungry predator who had just found the perfect prey. "You don't usually visit the house of God."
"But I'm sure that is about to change." Y/N's mother replied, looking at her daughter hopefully.
Y/N may not be an especially easy girl to handle, but she never understood why her parents didn't respect her space. She never visited the church often and that number dropped to zero when they started to force her to go with them. Over the years, Knockemstiff residents have turned religion into a disease. It's close to insanity and Y/N Henson doesn't want that for her life. Despite being seen as a sinner, she still prays every night. She gets down on her knees and talks to God.
"Dear, your dad and I brought you here to talk to Reverend Teagardin..."
"What? You said you would come here to confess and then we would go home!" Y/N protested angrily. She was ready to retrace her steps to the exit when her father took her arm.
"Y/N, we just want the best for you. Talking to the reverend can be a good start."
"And we are not giving you another option." Mrs. Henson completed, remaining firm in her decision. "Your father and I agreed not to participate in this conversation. We will walk around the town and then we come back here to get you."
"I can take her home... If you agree." Teagardin said, hiding his real intentions and touching the girl's shoulder. She was so small around him and looked so vulnerable. He smiled when he realized that.
"Oh, that's very kind, Reverend. Thanks." Y/N's mother replied, feeling enchanted by the man's benevolence. "Be a good girl." She said, kissing her daughter's forehead.
The preacher accompanied them to the door and having no other option Y/N walked through the church, staring at the cross nailed to the wall. She never felt that she was turning away from God, but looking back is exactly what she did.
"Now it's just me, you and Him." The reverend's words brought Y/N out of her own thoughts and she turned to him, crossing her arms in the process. This made her breasts more visible under the black dress she wore and Teagardin noticed.
"I can go and you tell my parents that you talked to me, but it didn't work because I'm a hopeless case. It's simple."
"I can't lie to your parents. I also don't think you're a hopeless case, Y/N." The man admitted, going to the first bench and sitting down. "We can talk?"
"Like... about my sins?"
"No. A normal conversation. Why don't you start by telling me about your life?" He patted the bench, silently inviting her to sit beside him.
Y/N didn't understand how a simple conversation could help, but she found the idea pleasant. Showing a shy smile, she approached Teagardin and sat down next to him, leaving a space between their bodies. Once again she looked at the cross, beginning to speak:
"I work for Ms. Fowler, she has a chicken coop and some pigs... I don't do much, but I like to help take care of animals and she says they like me too." At that moment Y/N looked at the preacher and imagined that she would find him with an expression of disinterest. The same expression of disinterest that her parents show when she tried to start a conversation or simply tell how her day was. They were always busy, but Teagardin was completely focused on everything she said and with a small smile on the corner of his lips.
"So, do you take care of the animals? I'm impressed, I don't know many girls who risk their lives by entering a pigsty."
"It's a dangerous place." She let slip a sweet laugh, feeling light, as she hadn't felt for a long time. "I understand them."
"I can see that you have a great relationship with animals, but what about your friends? Tell me a little about them." Those words were enough to destabilize Y/N. Any sign of happiness disappeared from her face and everything went gray, just like the view through the church windows. The rain was close and Y/N controlled herself not to start crying.
Like a sniffer dog, Preston felt this was a sensitive subject for the girl โ€“ maybe an open wound โ€“ and waited patiently until she decided to share it with him.
"I was never good at making friends, but I used to have a friend at school. Her name was Isabella. We were inseparable, but one day her father received a job offer in another city... Despite the distance, she called me every day in the late afternoon" The nostalgia was noticeable in her voice and the way her face softened with small memories. Isabella and Y/N were like sisters, but Mrs. Henson never approved of that friendship. "I am three years without news of my best friend. She never called or answered my letters and I don't know why, reverend."
"Have you never been to visit her?"
"My parents won't let me out of Knockemstiff."
"You don't have to go alone. They can go with you..."
"They don't care about me or what I want." Y/N said, shaking her shoulders as if this feeling was mutual, but deep down she knew it wasn't. "My mom said I have the power to turn people away and if Isabella walked away from me, it is certainly my fault."
"Your mother shouldn't say that." Teagardin looked deeply hurt. The situation was worse than he imagined, this family needs his help.
Y/N needs his help.
"Well, I lost Isabella's friendship, but I got three new friends!" The girl informed, as if she had finally found her place. "Two of them I met at the boarding school. The third helped us to escape and she has a beautiful baby. They work together in a bar away from the city..."
"What do they do in this bar?" The reverend had some suspicions, but he wanted to hear her confess.
"They... dance." Y/N said slowly. "I know it can look wrong, but they are good people and I don't understand why everyone looks at these girls with..."
"Have you ever been there?" Preston needed to know, but the girl just bowed her head. Sighing deeply, he stretched his arm over her shoulders, ending the distance between their bodies. "It's all right... God is merciful and benevolent. He forgives all of our sins, but He does not forgive lies."
"It was only once. I swear!" In the same instant that the words left her lips, she hid her face in Teagardin's chest and he took the opportunity to hug her, and feel the sweet perfume of her hair. It smelled like innocence.
"You made a mistake by going there. That place is not for family girls."
"I was just tired of everything... So, I thought about going there to have a drink and forget about the problems."
"Learn one thing..." The man said softly, running his fingers through her hair. "When problems arise and you feel alone, start praying. God is your best friend. And I am also here to help you."
"Thanks, reverend."
"Never go back to that place again. You shouldn't be drinking... and smoking."
"Wait..." The girl moved away from Teagardin, looking him straight in the eye. "Did my parents say that?"
"I was in town when I saw you smoking with a boy. He approached you and passed the smoke to your mouth... And then he kissed you. Is he your boyfriend?"
"Oh, you saw me with Arvin..." Shame consumed Y/N, turning her cheeks into two tomatoes. "But we are not together. It was our first kiss... My first kiss."
The moment they shared in the car had been magical. Arvin was always different from the Knockemstiff boys. He never judged Y/N for her actions. He understood her, but sometimes some problems were so big that they made the girl run away from him. All Arvin wanted was to hold her in his arms and protect from all the evil in the world.
"You need to stay away from these people. Starting with this young guy." The preacher's words captured Y/N's attention, confusing her. "You can't see it now, but those friendships are not good for you. They are driving you away from your true purpose. And Arvin Russell is taking advantage of your innocence to..."
"Arvin would never do that." She stated in all letters, not letting him finish the assumption. "I think... I think he likes me."
"There is a big difference between love and carnal attraction, and boys his age think of only one thing." Teagardin insisted, using a peaceful tone of voice. He was so convincing, that despite knowing Arvin for a long time, Y/N wondered about the boy's real intentions. He was always kind and respectful, or maybe that's what she thought, but with the help of the reverend she was beginning to understand, and the feeling of being used was difficult to digest. "I saw the way he looked at you... I saw the sin in his eyes."
"This cannot be true... W-We are not talking about the same person! He's d-different!"
"It doesn't matter who you believed in all this time or what you accepted to... to be like them. In the end, you are alone. You know it." When Preston finished, she was completely broken. It was cruel, but someone needed to open her eyes. Y/N deserved the truth. "I know it is difficult, but I am here for you." He buried her against his chest in a bear hug, wishing feel her soft, warm body in his arms again. Y/N returned theย hugย โ€” and then started to cry.
Her friends were not her friends.
Her parents were right.
She felt confused. Lost. But the reverend was beside her to show a new path free from sin and delusions.
"Do you know Proverbs 28:13?" He asked, holding her face in his hands. With his fingertips he wiped away a few tears and she smiled, shaking her head. "Whoever tries to hide his sins will not succeed, but the one who confesses his sins and leaves them behind will find mercy. Are you ready for this?"
"Yes, reverend." That was the confirmation he needed.
Preston Teagardin always believed that he had a special connection with God. With the right words he had the power to reach the hearts of these girls and offer them redemption. In his dark mind, they were privileged to be touched by a holy man like him. He was doing them a favor. And now it's Y/N's turn.
"First, you need to be free from your sins." The man looked with adoration for the little fallen angel. Slowly, he touched her knees, feeling the smooth skin and after a sigh, the girl was in his hands.
"Reverend..."
"Shhh. Just trust me." He said when his hands disappeared under her dress. His touch was sacred, something she had never experienced, but Y/N's conscience screamed that this was wrong. "Stand up so I can take your panties off. I need to feel you..." She got up, but ran quickly away from him, escaping his dirty hands.
Disappointment appeared in her eyes in the form of tears. It was impossible not to feel used. Again. Influenced by him, Y/N believed that her friends were a problem in her life and that they were moving her away from God's plans, but the real sinner is inside the church. His understanding, concern and kindness never existed. It was all part of the game. He needed to earn her trust before he could attack.
"You... You are a wolf in sheep's clothing! A liar! I thought for the first time someone was understanding my side, but you just want to fuck with me!"
"You got it wrong..."
"S-Stay away from me!" Y/N warned when Teagardin tried to approach. Fear coursed through her veins, spreading through her body like a drug. She didn't know what to do, but she knew she didn't want to be touched by him that way. "If you approach me, I swear I make a scandal! The whole city will know who you really are!"
"No one will believe you." He took a step forward. "You need help. I'm the only one who can..."
"Stop that shit! Do not say that the devil is in me, when you are trying to abuse a girl who is old enough to be your daughter! You are the devil, Teagardin!" For the first time she saw the anger in his eyes. Preston would never agree with that, but that is his true face. He is the devil in disguise and this was confirmed the instant he advanced on her.
Y/N ran to the exit, screaming desperately for help, even though she knew she was alone in this nightmare. With shaking hands, she tried to open the door, but the reverend took her in his arms. Compared to the girlโ€™s small, slender body, he was stronger than she was, but Y/N resisted and hit her knee in the middle of his legs, reaching his weak point. The man let out a loud growl and walked away, seeking support on one of the wooden benches. Taking advantage of the distraction, Y/N opened the door and ran as fast as she could. Teagardin thought of running after her to finish what he started, but he gave up as soon as he saw her cross the threshold of the church, running in the rain as if her life depended on it. She didn't look back, just kept running until she disappeared into the trees.
...
The day turned into night, covering everything with its dark cloak, while rain fell mercilessly on Knockemstiff. Y/N stumbled along the road, hugging her own body in an unsuccessful attempt to warm up. Tears were still streaming down her cheeks, mixing with the raindrops, but the girl's mind was elsewhere.
After what happened at the church, her faith was in pieces. She always knew that bad men walked on Earth, but she never imagined that the preacher was one of them. The way he touched her was disgusting. She wanted to scream, take the pain out of her chest and run back home to tell her parents what happened, but Teagardin's words were stuck in her head, hurting her:
"In the end, you are alone. You know it."
"No one will believe you."
Unexpectedly โ€“ or maybe that was a divine sign โ€“ a car approached the road Y/N was on. She was surprised to hear the noise of the engine and looked back. Despite the rain and the headlight blinding her for a few moments, Y/N recognized the old car and the boy on the other side certainly recognized her too. Arvin left his truck without a second thought, not caring about the pouring rain wetting his clothes in a matter of seconds.
"What are you doing here?" He asked, needing to raise his voice so she could hear. The girl opened her mouth to reply, but gave up, looking away.
Arvin realized that something was wrong. It was common to see Y/N walking around the city, but not in these circumstances. Before she looked away, he noticed the pain in her eyes. It was no secret to him that she had a difficult relationship with her parents, but this time it was different.
For a moment the worry made him forget that they were both still in the rain and when he realized this, the boy immediately guided her to the car. When she was safely in the passenger seat, he bypassed the vehicle and took the driver's seat. Rain was no longer a problem, but the cold persisted and Arvin grabbed his jeans jacket from the back seat.
"Here." He handed it to her and Y/N mumbled a small 'thanks', wearing the jacket. "So... what happened? You are far from home. It is dangerous to go out in the middle of a storm like this..."
"My intention is to stay away from home. The storm is an extra." The girl tried to relax, hiding her real emotions but it was obvious that she was not well.
"Did you argue with your parents again?"
"I would prefer that." She replied, forcing a laugh. Getting into an argument with her parents was common for her and seemed small compared to what actually happened. But what really happened was suffocating her. "I can tell you everything, r-right?"
"You know you can." Arvin said, holding her hand. The simple contact made their hearts accelerate and Y/N was grateful to have him by her side.
Feeling encouraged, she began to tell what happened at the church. The fact that her parents insisted that the devil was inside her, made Arvin angry. He never understood what the problem was with Mr. and Mrs. Henson about this. Y/N was not sick. All she needed was love and they never gave it to her.
Y/N didn't want to delve into the details of her conversation with the new preacher, but Arvin heard the fear in her voice when she mentioned his name. She said he was good with words, and very persuasive. He easily won her trust and that was her worst mistake. Arvin stopped listening when she said that the man's hands disappeared under the dress she was wearing. Anger consumed him quickly, making his blood boil and he clapped his hands on the steering wheel. With a vision blurred by tears, Y/N looked at him with concern. The tension was clear throughout his body; his jaw was tightly clenched and his hands were shaking as his fingers tightened on the steering wheel. Arvin always had an explosive temper โ€“ paternal inheritance โ€“, especially when the people he cared about were hurt.
"The preacher will never touch you again. I promise." He stated with conviction, bringing his attention back to Y/N. She looked tired, crying silently and the boy opened his arms for her to snuggle against his chest. Playing with a lock of her hair, he said: "I always knew there was something wrong with him. I should be there for you..."
"It's okay, Arvin. I'll be fine and I'll forget what happened... I just need to stay away from the church. This is easy for me." Y/N knew it wouldn't be so easy, but to calm him down, everything was welcome.
"You cannot protect him."
"I am not protecting him, but I know you..." She murmured softly, running a hand over his chest. "My life is a mess, you are the only one who believes in me. So, I'm just asking you not to do anything stupid... Because... Because I need you here." Arvin relaxed at her words. It was nice to know that she wanted him around in this difficult time. Y/N would have his support forever. And his love. For her sake, he decided to act with caution, but this does not mean that Teagardin will not suffer the consequences of his actions.
With undisclosed feelings, they remained embraced, just enjoying each other's company. It had been a long day. Arvin remembered the fallen tree in the middle of the road, forcing him to take the long way home, but that path brought him to Y/N. He was happy that it was he who found her in the middle of this storm.
"You need to rest. I will take you home." The boy broke the silence and Y/N moved away from him, shaking her head.
"No! I don't want to go home! My parents... they go..."
"I'll take you to my house." Arvin said, catching her cheek with his hand and watching the panic disappear from her eyes. With a smile, he added: "Grandma misses you."
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โ€ข a/n: This is the first fic I publish here and I'm very nervous!! (Possibly I will do a second part of this) Btw, criticism is welcome!!
(CHAPTER TWO HERE)
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bigassnocash ยท 3 years
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Couch Cuddles (Arvin Russell x Reader)
Hello! This is the first fanfiction I've ever written so please be kind while reading and thank you <3
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"Y/N, where are you?" Arvin called as he walked into the apartment. He got a job just outside the city laying blacktop. You guys both needed a sense of familiarity after leaving Cold Creek so he had continued doing physical labour and being in the outdoors as much as possible.
"I'm in here hon," you called from the couch arriving home moments before. You had taken a waitressing job at a local diner after moving to Cincinnati with Arvin. When he told you what Preston Teagarden had done to Lenora and Pamela Reaster and what he planned to do, you knew that you would follow him to the ends of the Earth.
You had been friends with Lenora since you could walk, so when Arvin came to live with Emma and Earskell you were excited to have another friend. You were in the Tenth grade when you realized that you harbored more than just friendship feelings towards Arvin. It shocked you when you found out that he felt the same way.
The floorboards creaked in the doorway, alerting you to Arvins arrival in the living room. You opened your eyes to a sight you don't normally see; Arvin was crying. "What's wrong Arvin?" you asked him, becoming quite concerned.
"I'm sorry. I"m sorry for Lenora, I'm sorry for killing the preacher, I'm sorry for killing the people who picked us up, I'm sorry for killing the sheriff, I'm sorry for taking you away from your family, I'm sorry for putting you in harms way, I'm sorry I can't give you a better life. You deserve so much better than this shitty apartment and I'm sorry I can't give you that." He moved so his head was now in your lap as you sat upright, stroking his hair as he sobbed.
"Arvin Eugene Russell you shut your mouth. That preacher was dirty, he hurt your sister and that is not your fault. If you hadn't killed that couple, they would've killed us or worse. That sheriff hated you for killing his sister. You didn't force me to do anything, I chose to leave. I chose to leave because I love you, Arvin. I don't know where you got this idea that I'm unhappy because I'm not. I don't want a huge house, with a big yard. I just want you. This shitty apartment is the best place in the whole world, because it's ours and I get to come home to you."
He looked up at you with so much love in his eyes. No one had ever said something like that to him since his mama died years before. He couldn't think of anything to say, no idea how to thank you. He kissed you, his lips still salty with his tears. he kissed you for a long time, his lips telling you everything he wanted to say but couldn't. After a couple minutes, you heard your timer go off in the kitchen. "That's dinner. You go wash up while I finish it up," you told him.
All through dinner Arvin yawned, not being used to crying so much. After you guys cleaned up he went to shower and you laid back down on the couch. Just as you were about to fall asleep you felt Arvin lay down on top of you, his arms wrapping around your waist, his head laying on your chest. You started stroking his hair again, knowing it helped him fall asleep. Not even five minutes later you heard his breathing even out. You both slept better than you had in months, despite being on the lumpy couch, knowing you both felt safe in each others arms.
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kiimtaehyung ยท 4 years
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Tom Holland as Arvin Russell in The Devil All The Time (2020)
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spiderszman ยท 3 years
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tom holland as arvin russell in the devil all the time - lockscreens
like/reblog if you save/use or ยฉ: spiderszman (twitter)
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