#it's funny. waking up today was honestly surreal | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lifewithdavefarts · 3 years

Photo

DaveFarts - Episode 13 “When She Finally Leaves” [Episode List] Dana spends the whole day at Dave’s place. When the girl leaves, Tim, who’s now Dave’s roommate, finds out how much gas a man can hold in just to not look gross in front of a girl.

When She Finally Leaves

In the last few weeks I’ve been spending more and more nights at Dave’s place, whether because I needed a place to work, write my essays, or simply to spend some quality time watching bad films and drinking beer. It was Dave himself to ask me to “marry him” (as he jokingly put it), basically becoming official roommates, which also meant dividing our tasks and obviously splitting the rent.

And honestly we were having a great time. We both had jobs, fortunately, which were not much but they did pay taxes for now and it was overall a great experience. Friend or not, Dave is an excellent roommate, being pretty good at cooking and organising chores; the same could be said for me actually, though in some cases we have our own preferences; for example Dave prefers cooking (the fact that I’m bad at it it’s purely coincidental) so we agreed I’ll be the one doing the dishes.

We also had our buds crashing over what is now *our* place a couple of times, which resulted in more bad films and beer, or even nerd stuff such as gaming together. Of course however, the person who most often came over is obviously Dana, Dave’s girlfriend. She’s pretty cool though we don’t really hang out with her when Dave’s not around, though as I said she’s pretty easy-going.

Tonight we’ve been watching a trash movie. Yes, the three of us. Don’t worry, I was a welcome addition today. Dave would usually just tell me to leave for a few hours if sex was on the table (sometimes literally on the table, the one where we eat our food…) as we respect each others enough to just be straightforward whenever we needed some privacy. Tonight however it was just chilling like three friends hanging out together (knowing however that Dave would just give me a signal should things get more heated up you know).

We were in the living room. I was on an armchair, working on my laptop, despite the poor wi-fi. On the long wide couch beside me, Dave and Dana chilling and watching the movie with more attention than me, my bud’s left arm around his girlfriend, sometimes making remarks on how bad it was. We all had a can of beer, because of course we did.

The couple brought some takeouts for dinner, some fast-food a few blocks from here (Dana’s idea, actually, which we were both thankful for). Dave, chilling next to Dana, was wearing his signature casual outfit: a grey shirt and pair of dark blue loose jeans, details that my gay-ass eyes immediately noticed and more than once stared at.

“Oh wow the helicopter just blew up I’m speechless.” Dave said, sarcastically.

“A Subversive Masterpiece: that’s what they were going for when they wrote this.” Dana added, and they both chuckled.

I also did my fair share of sarcastic remarks though work got most of my attention, even though it was nothing urgent, just me trying to get some stuff done as fast as possible.

“Did the shark just wink at him?” my bro commented.

“They’re best friends now.” his girlfriend explained. What a great film.

After 15 more minutes the movie ended with the three of us clapping at a shot of a man and a shark exchanging a look of gratitude to each other, as the Sun set into the never-ending ocean. Drugs played a big role into the making of this move I’m 100% sure.

“Well, that was enlightening, but I gotta head back home. The Uber’s almost here.” Dana said, as she got up and reached for her purse and some other stuff.

“You’re really sure about that? Come on, stay here for the night.” Dave suggested. “I taught Tim to play dead. We can throw food at him.” he then joked.

“I can also bring you the newspaper upstairs, tomorrow morning.” I played along.

Dana chuckled in response. “I’m sure you’ll win the next contest you two, but I gotta wake up super early tomorrow.”

The couple walked towards the front door. The entrance was next to the living room, a few steps behind the couch. Dave and I sometimes darkly joked that any assassin could easily ambush us because whenever we’re on the couch anyone could sneak into the house behind us, with enough care (we then prefer to drink about it).

“Call me when you get home.” Dave said and the two shared a quick kiss.

In the meantime I moved on the bigger (and more comfortable) couch, more or less in Dana’s spot, as I also have better wi-fi reception there. I left my laptop on the small table in front of me because apparently all of my laptops have to be shitty and take some time to even the most basic stuff. As I inspected the wi-fi icon flashing on the screen, I heard Dave shutting the door and walking back to the couch. After a few steps his tall figure was already towering over me.

“Yeah the reception is pretty bad lately.” he commented, and then collapsed next to me.

Only a few seconds and he already had that well-known smirk drawn on his face; he then quickly adjusted his position. He completely laid down, extended his demin-clad legs, with his left one resting on the back of the couch, ending right behind my neck. In a moment, Dave ended up showing off his loose, almost-sagging jeans-clad ass directly next to me, as his legs trapped me into a gentle yet strong grip. Seeing both that “wall” made of jeans and my bro’s smirk at the same time was a sight I never truly got used to. He was just lying there, next to me, with his ass pointed at me, as if it was one big prank, even though he knew exactly how much I enjoyed that.

“Bro you’re ready?” he asked, still sporting that smirk.

When even Dave goes as far as asking me if I’m ready, then I knew that the fart was going to be gargantuan. And I realized why: Dana has been with us and my bro the entire day, so it’s possible that Dave just held all of his gas in for hours. We all experienced this, then when the girl leaves, men get to “relax”. Other than that, Dave had tons of beer and junk food. I stared at that denim butt, for the first time almost scared of what my bud was capable of; I knew a fart was coming, and I knew it was going to be big.

But what Dave said next really once again confirmed how chill he is around me.

“Believe me: you might want to get closer for this one.” he said, laughing a bit.

He sported weirdly reassuring smile, Dave’s millionth attempt at saying “It’s ok, Tim.” as he probably noticed now nervous I became when he assumed that pose.

The teasing bastard then went full bully on me and simply reached for my head with his long right arm and gently pulled me down, as if I was bowing to that still silent denim-clad ass. I just heard him laugh like an idiot, as it usually happens. Despite my head being down and in front of that ass, I could still see Dave’s face and that smirk. He raised his eyebrows and half-closed his eyes as he started pushing, but he didn’t need to put all that effort into ripping that blast.

It’s like the fart was barely contained in the first place: it immediately exploded with a loud sound right into my face. Dave closed his eyes and kept his smirk as the blast probably surprised him as well. It was low-pitched and dry, a completely natural gas-eruption that sounded like an engine. The stench was unbearable, a mixture of beer and junk food, surprise to no one.

While farting, Dave adjusted his position as bit, spreading his legs bit more, with my face getting almost planted into that denim-clad butt as he effortlessly kept ripping that immense flatulence. Hours and hours of gas being erupted as if I was in front of a dormant volcano that just woke up. And I feared that “hours” was what he was going for ‘cause after 20 seconds the fart didn’t even lose power.

Dave still had this smirk drawn on his face and occasionally stared down at me as he completely destroyed my face and nose with his incredible farting skills, skills that constantly let me speechless, fetish or not. He was the fart master, a showoff with a manly talent that I could only bow to and endure in the hop-

“Sorry, I forgot my house keys.”

The fart immediately stopped and it all went silent: It was Dana.

Dave turned his head to his girlfriend, greeting her with the stupidest smile you can think of.

“Oh stay there no worries, they’re right here.” I heard Dana say as she reached for keys, probably hanging right next to the door, my face still almost planted in my friend’s denim ass. That felt surreal.

I completely froze (not that I could move) but I knew that she couldn’t see me (just like I couldn’t see her) as I was lying down. All she could see from where she was standing was Dave’s head and his right leg resting on the back of the couch, since the entrance was behind our couch.

I was terrified, while Dave was doing his best not laugh like an idiot.

“What’s so funny?” Dana asked, laughing a bit herself, definitely noticing her boyfriend being weird.

My teasing bro quickly glanced down at me, almost losing it (and still holding holding the fart in, which didn’t stop the smell from burning my nostrils).

“N-nothing’” he stuttered. That’s it, he was gonna laugh like an idiot.

“Okay” I heard Dana, not really convinced of the boyfriend’s answer though.

There was a moment of awkward silence and then we heard a car honk, thank goodness.

“Oh… it’s my Uber. Bye!” the girl said, quickly leaving the house and shutting the door behind her.

Another moment of silence followed, Dave still staring at the entrance. I was shaking, I was legitimately scared that someone was gonna find out, which was weird given the hotness I was experiencing in that moment, even without the fart being ripped.

“Ok… where were we?” Dave asked, turning back to me, with a smirk. “Oh yeah!”

And he effortlessly resumed farting, just as loud, proud and powerful as it was before the interruption, directly into my face. The terror I experienced moments before was blown away by that incredibly blast and me being rock-hard, as it usually happens when Dave showoffs his gassy talent around me, or on me.

Dozens of seconds passed and at this point Dave just played along. He nodded at me, faking a serious expression, as if he was listening to something actually interesting instead of his own loud fart still going on strong; after about ten more seconds he checked the time on his wrist-watch and acted surprised, then stared down at me as if he wanted to say “damn that is long!”. We both however actually lost the track of time and he simply relaxed as if I wasn’t even in front of his ass, all while the fart was still being blasted in my face.

Dave then reached for my head again and gently pushed it inches closer to his roaring ass, and I felt the vibrations of his rip all over my face: it was literally an earthquake.

How long was it lasting? More than 1 minute perhaps? How much gas can a man hold in? Dave certainly was pushing for a record. All I knew is that I felt privileged witnessing that, even though I was beyond being a mere witness since no particle of gas missed my eyes and nostrils.

However (finally, actually), the fart seemingly started to lose power, the once-continuous sound starting to “stutter” and turning more into a fast series of loud farts, fired back-to-back. The show (because that’s what it was: a show) ended with a loud, 5 seconds blast, and Dave’s laughter.

I slowly got up, sweaty, my nose burning, with a startled look to which my bro reacted with another immature cackle. I was now sitting next to him as I was before, and looked back at my bud, who in the meantime re-adjusted his pose. He was still lying down, still kind of showing off his loose-sagging ass, but in a less “menacing” way: now he was just chilling.

“When’s Dana coming over again?” I joked. I mustered all the courage I had left to say that. I was impressed by the fact that I could still speak considering that all of my blood probably flooded my boner at that point.

Dave laughed at that lame joke, thank goodness. “As if I need Dana to blast you like this.”

He raised one leg, again showing off his sagging denim ass in my direction. He quickly sucked some air in and after a few moments and weird noises a loud 6 seconds fart erupted. For his standards, that’s basically a weak one.

My friend just casually joking and bragging about facefarting me and then farting on command to prove it made me lose it, as I felt my boner… dampening. He didn’t notice it but he knew that I had a hard-on, that’s for sure.

I didn’t want to just rush into the bathroom so I just stared at my laptop, still on the table, in front of me: the wi-fi signal was stronger than ever. I jokingly like to think that Dave’s blast was so powerful it actually influenced the signal somehow and improved it.

I turned to my bud, still lying on his side of the couch, just checking his phone and being… casually hot.

“Thanks man.” I said, not for the wi-fi though.

He lowered his phone, revealing a blank reaction “Really?” he said, rolling his eyes, with a bored expression. “Stop being cringe and do the dishes.”

Fuck, I totally forgot about those. We had takeout food but we still used some of our dishes. I immediately got up and rushed to the kitchen, hoping that Dave was distracted by his phone enough to not notice by boner through my sweatpants.

Once in the kitchen, a place that wasn’t tainted by Dave’s gas, my nostrils could still feel my bro’s fart-stench. That’s how soaked up in his gas I was. Even my ears needed some time to adjust to the silence, now that I didn’t have a deafening fart being ripped right into my skull.

And I just knew that this wasn’t the last time this was gonna happen. I’m Dave’s roommate, and being roomies means we have to divide our tasks: he’s the farter, I’m the sniffer.

End of Episode 13

#fart story #eproctophilia #fartkink #davefarts2 #gayfart #malefarts

70 notes · View notes

fatiguing-thoughts · 3 years

Text

“Natural” - Chapter 13 - Embry Call x Reader

Movie Night

Waking up in the morning with Embry in my bed was a level of comfort and serenity that I don’t think I could ever describe. I look over at his peaceful form, the sun shining in through the fold in the curtain.

I watch as his chest rises up and down, his slow, peaceful breathing accompanied by a very light snore. His black hair falling over his face that’s nuzzled deep into my pillow. His warm, russet skin shining in the sun beams. His warmth radiating against my colder skin.

“Good morning.” His raspy voice mumbles against the pillow.

“Good morning, Em.” I whisper.

“What’re you looking at, beautiful?” He smirks.

“Just you.” I blush.

I don’t honestly believe that this is something I’ll ever get used to. Embry, and everything about him, felt like an absolute blessing. It felt surreal, really.

“Awe, bean. You’re cute when you blush.”

“Stop.” I whine, slightly giggling.

“No, I like it. It’s cute.” He sits up, wrapping his arms around me.

“I mean, thank you.” I look down at my hands.

“So, I was thinking.” Embry begins.

“That’s a first.” I tease, poking his nose.

“Hah hah, very funny. Anyway, what if we went camping? Now that I won’t have to be here for patrol tonight or tomorrow. We can leave today and spend a night out, and come home for tomorrow. Then you can see your friend and Leah.” His vibrant smile beaming brighter than the sunlight.

“I would love that. We can start packing now.” I shriek, having a difficult time to contain my excitement.

“Of course.” He smiles, leaving a kiss on my lips.

I practically spring up from my bed and begin packing my backpack full of any clothes I would need for tonight and tomorrow. I put on a pair of jeans and throw on a t-shirt.

“Someone’s excited.” Embry chuckles.

“We’ve always talked about camping together, and now we can.” I turn around, smiling.

“I know, I’m so excited to go with you.” He smiles, pulling me close to him.

His hands grab my hips, driving me nuts as usual. I trace my fingers up his biceps until my arms wrap around his neck, pulling myself up to kiss his soft lips once again. His hands tighten their grip on my hips as he deepens the kiss.

“We have to finish packing.” He pulls away breathlessly.

“That we do.” I shake my head.

“We can continue that later tonight.” He gives me a cheeky smirk.

I nod as my cheeks are deepening to another shade of red.

I grab some blankets, pillows, and search for sleeping bags in the closet downstairs.

We pack some food for the small trip before heading over to Embry’s house to pick up his tent and clothes for him to wear.

I look around for Tiffany while we were here, alas she had to have been working.

“Have you talked to her the last few days or have you been completely MIA?” I ask as he packs a backpack for himself.

“She thought I was camping with everyone. We’re in contact.” He looks back at me.

“Good. I don’t want her to worry herself to death.” I smile at him.

“Me neither.” He sighs.

We make our way back to my car and he leads the way to a site of his choice.

“I’ll give it to you, Em. You know these woods better than anyone else.” I chuckle.

“I know, I’m basically a map now.” He laughs, pointing in the direction to turn.

I follow his navigation and after an hour or so of driving, we eventually make it to a trail leading to a clearing, thankfully a bathroom within walking distance.

We grab all of our stuff and begin our journey to the clearing. Embry and I set up the tent relatively quickly.

“I’m hungry.” Embry whines.

“You’re always hungry.” I giggle.

“Yeah, and?” He laughs.

“So let’s eat.” I smile, reaching into the food we packed.

I felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket. I pull it out to see a text from Alyssa.

“Hey (Y/N), are you free tomorrow?” - Alyssa

“Yes I am. Do you wanna come over for a pizza and movie night?” - me

“Sure, sounds good. Should I bring anything?” - Alyssa

“Nope. I can invite my friends, too. If you’d like. :)” - me

“That sounds fun.” - Alyssa

“Okay, come for like 6.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

I place the phone back in my pocket after sending her my address and take a sip of water.

“We should invite everyone over tomorrow at seven. I told Alyssa there would be a pizza and movie night at my house, but she’s coming at six.”

“Sounds fun, I’ll send a text in the group chat.” He says, pulling his phone out.

“Great.” I smile.

We finished eating and cleaned everything up.

“Can we go on a hike?” I ask.

“Of course, beautiful.” His large hand reaches out for mine, pulling me off the stump I sat on.

I follow Embry’s lead the whole walk, which took about an hour or so. We played a lot of iSpy on the way, though.

A chipmunk, the recycling bin, the bag of cheetos someone left on the floor (which I picked up and threw out), the trees, my backpack, and the dog poop someone didn’t pick up like they were supposed to. Those were the answers to the iSpy game we had.

“Okay, we’re here.” Embry smiles.

“Wow, it’s beautiful.” I admire the view.

We were in a canyon of sorts, admiring some of the beauty that the Olympic National Forest has to offer. I look down, noticing the drop off, my heartbeat beginning to race.

“I won’t let you fall, bean.” His arm wrapping around my waist.

“Thank you.” I continue to look around.

Embry always washed my fears away easily. Being with Embry made me feel invincible. I felt all my worries melt away.

I look over at him, smiling at the beautiful boy.

We sat there for a few hours, enjoying each other’s company as well as the view before heading back to the campsite.

It was beginning to get dark and I heard Embry’s stomach grumbling.

“I can start the fire and then we can eat.” I smile at him.

“Sounds good to me, bean.” I felt warm, soft lips press to my temple.

The light from the fire created cast orange all around it, the crackling soothing my ears. The smell bringing me a new sense of peace.

Embry and I ate dinner and roasted s’mores. I sat basically velcroed to his side, just how I like.

“Look at the stars.” He points up to the sky.

“Wow.” I breathe out.

“Come on, let’s stargaze.” He grabs my hand, leading me over to the picnic table at our site.

We lay on it, both of us laying our heads on his arms.

“I like that one.” I point up to the sky.

“Which one? There’s like forty in that direction.” He chuckles.

“That one, Em.” I point again.

“Ahhh, nice. It’s pretty.” He agrees.

“You don’t even know which one I’m talking about.” I giggle.

“I don’t have to. I know it’s beautiful, they all are. Just like you.” He presses a kiss to my cheek.

I turn over to him and press my lips to his. His hands once again find my hips, pulling me into his side.

“Maybe we should go into the tent.” I raise an eyebrow.

“I think we should.” His smirk sends chills up my spine.

And so we did, we took it to the tent.

Soon after, we fell asleep holding each other.

In the morning, the smell of the trees pleasantly invaded their way into my senses. The heat from the sun invading through the polyester walls.

“Good morning.” Embry’s raspy morning voice once again sending chills up my spine.

“Morning, Em.” I smile at him.

“Let’s eat.” He smiles, springing himself up from the sleeping bag.

“You got it.” I smile, following suit.

I caught Embry staring at me, once again. Not something out of the ordinary, though I always wondered why.

“What’s wrong, do I have something on my face?” I ask.

“No, it’s just you. You’re so beautiful.” A blush finds its way to his cheeks, following an uncontrollable grin.

“Awe, Em.” I coo, walking myself over and sitting in his lap.

“I just feel so lucky.” He breathes into my neck.

“Me too. Like the luckiest girl in the world.” I smile, pressing a kiss to his warm cheek.

Sitting in Embry’s presence felt better than merely being near anyone else. It was as if sitting in silence with Embry could beat any conversation with anyone else. I guess that’s a soulmate, though.

“What time is it?” I ask him.

“A little past noon.” He shrugs.

“Okay. So who’s coming tonight?”

“Well, Seth and Leah for sure. Jacob can’t because he’s basically broken in half for a bit longer. Quil said he would. Overall, the rest of them said they’re busy with their friends or families. Well, Jared said he’s too busy ‘doing hot girl shit,’ whatever that means.”

“Alright. Good for Jared, I think that’s a tik tok thing. But Seth, Leah, Quil, Alyssa, and us sounds like a good group.” I chuckle.

“It definitely is.” He laughs, pulling me closer to his chest.

“Well, we should probably head home soon. By the time we got back it’s gonna be after three. And then cleaning all this crap up.” I sigh.

“We can do this again, whenever you want to.” He smiles at me.

“I would like that.” I press a kiss to his forehead.

His warm chest felt like home, and maybe that’s why I always felt like Forks was my home. It was my ticket to Embry my whole life.

We pack up the site and make our hike back down the trail to my car. The drive back once again blasting our shared playlist, revisiting all the feelings we held secret for years.

Embry insisted we stop at his house first since his mother was at work. My heart ached for both him and his mother. Secrets like this are good for neither of them, I couldn’t imagine the pain it brought to them.

The drive to my house was quick, and unpacking all of our stuff didn’t take too long.

I check the time and see it to be after 3:30.

“Well, what can we do now?” I look over to Embry.

“Well, we could get stuff ready. Or we can make out.” He wiggles his eyebrows at me.

“I mean, one of those is far more tempting than the other.” I smirk, walking closer to him.

Next thing I knew, we were on my couch, his warm body pressed against mine. His soft lips pressing onto mine with slight aggression. Embry drove me nuts, there was no denying that.

Some time later, we pulled apart breathlessly.

“Maybe I should get the living room ready.” I smile at him.

“I think so.” He kisses my forehead.

I grab pillows and blankets, creating a comfortable area on the floor for whoever decides to take that instead of the couches. Also blankets for Alyssa and I, as most people who don’t run 108.9 like when they watch movies. I grab snacks and drinks from the latest grocery shopping trip and bring them into the living room, leaving them on the coffee table.

“Alyssa should be getting here soon.” I say happily.

“You excited to see her?” Embry asks me with a kind smile.

“Very. That was one of my only actual friends in Forks.” I return his smile back to him.

“That’s exciting. And now she gets to meet all your La Push friends.”

“She does. And it will be great to finally have some merger there.”

We sat back on the couch, chatting about more things to do on the next camping trip as we were much less limited than others in terms of safety and location. Discussing a group trip with our friends.

Our conversation was interrupted by a knock on my front door.

“Alyssa!” I swing the door open, smiling.

“(Y/N)!” She laughs.

“Come in, let’s catch up.” I pull her in for a hug.

“Yes please.” She giggles.

“Nobody else is gonna be here for an hour, I left that for us to talk about life.” I chuckle.

“Sounds like a plan.”

“I’ll go take a nap, let you guys have your girl talk.” Embry says, kissing my forehead before waving and jogging upstairs to my room.

“So… how is life? How is everything?” I ask.

“Well, my girlfriend and I broke up about a year ago. She cheated on me. So that wasn’t fun, but other than that I’m doing great. I got the program I wanted to a few months ago, I’m gonna become a teacher.” She smiled.

“That’s incredible! Congrats. On the school thing. But as for Chelsea? Seriously? You guys were together from like freshman year of high school. What a witch.” I look at her with comforting eyes.

“Yeah, right? She’s not worth being sad about anymore, though. I’m ready to have fun again, I’ve been okay for a while. I go to school in the fall and I’ll be dorming. I’m quite excited. What’re you doing for school?” She smiles at me.

“Well, I got into the program I want, too. I’m going to be going online, though. But I’m studying economics, I think I want to go to law school.” I smile.

“That’s great! Congratulations.” She beams.

“Right. Wait, where are you going to school?”

“University of Washington. I’m excited.”

“No shot, me too.” I smile.

“No way, you’ll have to come hang out at my dorm sometimes. You’re gonna need to make friends.” She encourages me.

“That sounds like fun.”

We catch up some more before I notice the time. I decided to call to order the pizza at 6:45, that way it would come shortly after people got here. I ordered five pies.

“Five pies? How many of your other friends are coming?” She asks.

“Uhh, I think there’s gonna be like six of us all together.” I shrug.

“Don’t you think that five pies is a lot?” She asks me, raising her eyebrow.

“Definitely not with them. There is no end to their hunger.” I laugh.

“If you say so.” She laughs, doubting my words.

“You’ll see.” I chimed.

I tell her that I should go wake Embry up and begin my walk up the stairs.

I open my door and she his silhouette laying in the bed. The darkness of my room made it impossible to make much else out.

“Embry, wake up.” I say walking over to my bed.

“Already?” He laughs.

“Yeah, already.” I chuckle, placing a hand on his shoulder to wake him up.

“Alright, only for you.” He sits up, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

“Thanks. Let’s get downstairs.” I mumble, thankfully the darkness hid the reddening of my cheeks at his softspoken words.

“Good morning, Alyssa.” Embry yawns from the stairway.

“Good morning?” She laughs at his goofiness.

A knock at the door interrupts us. I walk over to see Quil, Seth, and Leah.

“Hey!” I smile.

“Hey, (Y/N)!” Seth beams with his contagious smile.

“What’s up, dork?” Quil laughs.

“Hey, (Y/N).” Leah says softly, smiling at me.

“Come on in, the pizza should be here soon.”

“Thank god, I’m starving.” Quil huffs.

“I just watched you eat two big macs an hour ago.” Leah looks at him.

“Okay, and?” He laughs.

“Alright everyone, this is my friend Alyssa. Alyssa this is Quil, Seth, and Leah.” I smile, pointing to everyone down the line.

“Hello.” She smiles, waving at everyone. Looking at them as I point.

Though her face stopped at one.

I look and follow her gaze, noticing it stopped at the last face. Leah’s.

Leah had a dazed look on her face, mouth slightly agape.

My eyes widen, looking at Embry’s face that mimicked my shock. In fact, so did Quil’s and Seth’s.

“Hey.” Alyssa exhales.

“Hi.” Leah mumbled, her face quickly turning to one of confusion.

“Oh, this took a turn.” Quil mumbled, in which Seth quickly swatted him with his arm.

I gave Quil a glare, letting him know that now was not a time for jokes.

“Alright, so let’s pick a movie. What movie?” I ask everyone, trying to break the silence.

“Let’s watch The Cat in The Hat.” Quil chuckles.

“It’s a true cinematic masterpiece.” Embry agrees.

“What is wrong with you?” I laugh.

“I mean, it is really funny. We used to talk about it in class all the time.” Alyssa laughs.

“You’re right. Is everyone good with watching that? I think we all need a good laugh.” I smile.

“Yeah. That works.” Leah mumbles.

“Sure. I’m down to watch anything.” Seth smiles.

“Great.” I turn the TV on and begin playing the movie.

Leah takes a spot on the floor by herself, in front of Quil and Seth that took the couch next to the one that Embry and I sat on. Alyssa found herself a spot on the other side of me.

About fifteen minutes into this nonsense, I hear knocking at the door once again.

“Do you want me to pause it, babe?” Embry asks.

“Please don’t.” I smile and walk to the door to get the pizza.

“Your loss.” Quil huffs, laughing at the movie.

I roll my eyes as I get the pizza from the door.

“Let me help you.” I hear Leah say behind me, grabbing the pizza from me so I can pay the delivery guy.

“Thanks, Leah. You can keep the change.” I smile at him.

“You got it. Where’s your bathroom? Also can I borrow a warmer shirt? I’m cold.” She asks, putting the pizza down next to the snacks on the coffee table.

I look at her confused, as she knows where the bathroom is down here, also because this girl would never be cold. It’s then that I noticed the look in her eyes. She didn’t have to use the bathroom and she wasn’t cold. She needed to talk and she needed to talk now.

“You can use the one upstairs, there’s one next to my room. I’ll show you where it is and I’ll get you a sweater.” I nod.

“I’m kinda cold, too. Can I also have a sweater?” Seth asks, noticing the discomfort in his sister.

Quil and Embry look at Seth with a dumbfounded look, though I wave them off.

“Uh, yeah. Come follow, too.” I manage to say.

All three of us walk up the stairs and into my room.

“Are you okay?” I ask Leah, shutting my door.

“I don’t know, I’m so confused.” She says softly,

“I understand. That was a lot.” I lay a comforting hand on her shoulder.

Seth walks over and places another comforting hand on Leah’s other arm.

“I just… Everything I saw felt so right. I just, I don’t know her. I didn’t think I would imprint on a woman. It’s not even that I’m mad about it, I always felt attracted to some women, I just never actually dated any. I just assumed I either wouldn’t imprint or I would imprint on a man, because none of the guys ever imprinted on another guy, even in the stories. But what do I make of it?” She asks me in a panic, speaking a million miles a minute.

“I know, I know. Of course it feels right, it’s supposed to. But just remember, it doesn’t have to be romantic if you don’t want it to be.” I remind her.

“It was in what I saw. I saw us together, I saw us happily holding hands. I saw us kissing. I saw us cuddling by a fire. I saw it all.” She looks at me with concerned eyes.

“Leah, it’s okay. It’s all okay. That’s beautiful, if it’s what you want.” I say.

“Leah, if you’re afraid about imprinting on another woman, don’t worry about that. I don’t care. Mom doesn’t care. Nobody here would care. We love you for you and we want you to be happy.” Seth rubs her back comfortingly.

“You mean that?” Her lip starts to quiver.

“Of course. You’re my sister, you’re my best friend.” Seth pulls her into a hug.

“Leah, I’m here for you every step of the way. We all are. I think that you should be her friend, see how that goes. If it develops further, then it does. If not, don’t stress. You’d then have another best friend.” I smile at her.

“Thank you.” She smiles, nodding her head and hugging me.

“Who knows, Leah? Take things as they come. We’ll be here every step of the way, okay?”

“Okay.” She nods.

“Bring it in.” Seth grabs us both and pulls us into a huge hug.

The crushing weight of his arms was one that felt really nice. I felt all the love in this hug. We stay like this for a few moments before I break the silence.

“Let’s go get some pizza before Quil and Embry eat it all. Or torture Alyssa.” I laugh.

“You’re right. We’ve been up here a little long.” Leah smiles softly.

“They better have saved us some pizza.” Seth huffs.

“I’m sure they did. They might’ve killed two pies already, though.” I chuckle walking out of my room and down the stairs, Seth and Leah trailing close behind.

“Welcome back, you missed a lot.” Quil chuckles.

“Shut up. There better be pizza left.” I glare at him and Embry.

“There is, there is.” Embry defends, placing his hands up in surrender, chewing on his pizza.

“Good, I’m starving.” Seth says, grabbing two slices from the box.

Leah and I both grab a slice before sitting back in our spots.

“Where’s your sweater, Seth?” Quil teases.

“They didn’t fit him.” I look at Quil with hard eyes.

“Yeah, it was a shame.” Seth laughs on the couch.

The rest of the movie was filled with laughter. I sat in Embry’s lap, appreciating the warmth he brought me.

“Next movie?” Embry asks.

“We can watch Jackass.” Quil suggests.

“Oh yeah, because you guys just need ideas. You, Paul, and Jared will be tearing up the town by tomorrow morning if we watch that.” I laugh.

“You got me there.” Quil laughs.

“Great, it’s settled. We’re watching Mean Girls.” I announce.

“Oh god.” Quil whines.

“It’s a great movie, you’re gonna love it at the end of the night. You’ll be quoting it, guaranteed.” I tell him.

“It is a great movie.” Alyssa agrees.

So we watch it, and halfway through the movie I notice that nobody is more invested than Quil, Embry, and Seth. Causing the girls and I to laugh at them.

After the movie ended, we all began to get up and stretch.

“Thank you for having me, (Y/N). I think I’m gonna get going now, though. I have work in the morning but I had fun, we should all hang out again some time. It was great to meet you all.” She smiles, hugging me goodbye.

“Yeah, of course, we should hang out again soon. I’ll walk you to the door.” I smile, leading Alyssa to the door and watching her get into her car, noticing Leah do just the same.

“Thank you!” She calls out as she gets into her car.

I waved goodbye before shutting the door as she drove off.

“Well, we should all probably get going soon.” Leah trails off.

“Alright, I’ll see you guys soon.” I smile before I pull her into a really tight hug.

“Thank you.” She whispers in my ear before pulling away.

“Bye, (Y/N). Thanks for having us. I had fun.” He smiles before they take off.

“I mean, I should probably leave, too. I know you guys value your alone time, now.” Quil wiggles his eyebrows.

“Shut up, dick.” Embry pulls him into a headlock, giving him a noogie.

“That’s a weird way to say thank you for helping you not be a father at 18, but okay.” He laughs, wrestling Embry back.

“Thanks, Quil. I thank you for your help. But Embry did say he would do this.” I giggle.

“Fine, go get your own condoms from now on. I’m not taking them from Paul for you anymore!” He laughs as they roll around.

“You stole them from Paul?” I laugh from the couch.

“Yeah, I hold you two with a very high value.” Quil tells me.

“I see. Enough to risk a beating from Paul.” I laugh.

They both eventually tire themselves out and joining me on the couch.

“You guys done, yet?” I ask.

“Yeah, I just had to kick his ass.” Embry kisses my temple.

“Still a weird way to thank me.” Quil laughs.

I can’t help but laugh at my two goofy ass best friends.

“I should go, and you should go home for once before your mom has a heart attack.” Quil says, looking at Embry.

“You’re right.” He sighs, standing up.

“You should, she probably misses you.” I encourage him.

“I know. I love you, bean. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He presses a kiss to my forehead.

“Sounds good.” I smile, hugging him.

“Embry, you don’t talk to me like that. I’m hurt.” Quil places a hand over his chest, faking a pained face.

“Oh shut it.” Embry shoves him, laughing.

“Goodnight, guys. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I watch as they walk over to the treeline, knowing exactly how they were getting to their homes.

I go up into my room and lay in bed, reliving the last few days of my life.

How fuckin nuts that just two days ago I was face to face with vampires that wanted to kill me.

And tonight I watched The Cat in The Hat.

Man, life’s pretty weird.

I pick up my phone and sent a text to Embry.

I love you.

I put the phone on my nightstand, and drifted off.

_________________________ Word Count: 4371

I II III IV V VI VII VIII VIIII X XIR XIE XII XIII XIV XV XVI XVII XVIII XIIII

#embry call #embry call x reader #embry call fanfiction #embry call imagine #quil ateara #seth clearwater #leah clearwater #jacob black #jared cameron #sam uley #collin littlesea #brady fuller #wolf pack x reader #twilight #twilight x reader #twilight imagine #twilight fanfiction #wolf pack

128 notes · View notes

ptergwen · 3 years

Text

last christmas | pt. 2

❆ series masterlist ❆

w/c: 2.5k

warnings: one suggestive joke and a couple of angsty moments

a/n: yo i forgot that harry was actually in this movie as an extra? that’s kinda funny to me but anyways pls send requests (ik it’s annoying i keep asking i’m just so bored y’all help) and enjoyyy

━━━ *:･。.

today feels better than most days. the throbbing headache you usually wake up with isn’t there. plus, you have your date with tom later. it still feels surreal to say that. it still feels surreal he’s your friend’s brother, and you only found out three days ago.

you throw on some sweats and head into the living room. your roommate alex is in front of the tv with a bowl of cereal. she puts it down, the spoon making an obnoxiously loud clink. you’re sensitive to sound, so you unintentionally wince.

“sorry, y/n/n. i thought you had the day off, no?” she asks, lowering the tv for your sake. you smile at the gesture and go to grab your coat. “i do. i just wanna get breakfast.” “we have stuff here,” alex reminds you and picks up her cereal for emphasis. she’s careful not to drop the spoon this time. laughing to yourself, you shrug into your coat.

“i’ll pass. i wanted to say hi to harry, anyway.” “right, tonight’s the night.” she turns her head towards you and smirks. “you’re shagging his brother.” your eyes go comically wide. “no i’m not! he’s taking me out somewhere,” you defend and button up your coat as fast as you can. it’s time to get out of here.

“i’ll make plans just in case,” alex calls out as you shuffle to the door. “yeah, bye!” you shout back. you planned on asking if she wanted anything, but you were too distracted. oh well.

━ ❆

the café isn’t too crowded when you get there. harry is on register, so he’s probably in a good mood. he eyes you curiously when you step up. you give him a big smile.

“you’re not in today,” he says quietly, pushing up the santa hat he’s wearing. you stifle a laugh. you’re all supposed to dress up festively, but you don’t. your manager made an exception. one of your co workers is watching harry, so he fixes the hat. it’s not done without a long exhale.

“i’m here for coffee,” you explain and glance up at the menu. harry squints at you. “you couldn’t have gone anywhere else?” feigning offense, you put your hand on your chest. “why, you don’t want to see me?” “when you’re supposed to be home resting, no.” he taps a button on the register. “what can i get you?”

“first of all, i have a date later. that won’t be happening,” you tell him smugly. he would try to act annoyed, but he’s honestly happy for you. tom, too. “can i have an iced coffee with liquid sweetener? please?” harry raises an eyebrow. “room for milk?” “sure,” you almost chirp. he can’t help but grin.

“i haven’t seen you this happy the whole time i’ve known you,” he mumbles while punching in your order. your smile fades into a concerned grimace. “is that okay, do you think?” harry looks up at you again. “why wouldn’t it be?” “because, i mean, it’s only one date. it could end up going no where.”

you lean over the counter so you can talk quieter. “what would i be happy about then?” “excuse me?” a woman interrupts your conversation louder than necessary. you’re trying to search harry’s face for an answer, but he doesn’t give you one. “one second, sorry,” he apologizes to the customer. you stand up right again.

“tom wouldn’t do all this if he didn’t feel something,” harry nearly whispers while you get out your money. you read your total befofe he could tell you. you let your hand linger in his when you hand him the cash. “you’ll have more than one night of happiness. you deserve it.”

you’re starting to get a bit emotional, so you pull your hand back. you nod and manage a small smile. “thank you, harry. really.” “you’ll let me know how it goes?” he checks. “tomorrow, yeah. have a good shift.” you give him a finger wave and go off to get your coffee. he waves back.

━ ❆

tom gets a text from harry a few minutes after you leave.

y/n is really special. don’t be a div tonight.

he scoffs at his phone and shuts it off. your smile pops into his mind then. he only got to see it once, but he can’t seem to forget it.

harry is right. you are really special, and he better not mess this up.

━ ❆

you and tom decided on eight for your date. he’s meeting you outside your place because wherever you’re going is in walking distance. you bundle up accordingly in your fluffiest jacket and some earmuffs. you’ve never worn them before, but they’ll be your best friend tonight. they’re also cute. this is the time to be cute.

tom buzzes to let you know he’s there at eight sharp. his punctuality is kind of a surprise. you don’t know much about the real him, but this is rare from what you’ve gathered. you tell him you’re coming and hop out the door.

the thing alex said earlier does cross your mind, and she did leave you the apartment. never mind all of that. you try to think of anything but that before you get outside.

“hey,” tom greets as you walk down the stairs. he grins playfully at your attire. “you look cozy.” “you don’t.” he’s wearing a thin black jacket with a flannel underneath. it’s not ideal for the middle of winter in london. a smug smile pulls at your lips.

“you’re gonna walk in that?” you gesture to his outfit, moving so you’re next to him. he hums. “i’ll let you tease me for it the whole way there.” the two of you start walking side by side. it doesn’t take long for you to fall into step. “the whole way? how far is it?” you raise an eyebrow.

“twenty minutes maybe? it can’t be too bad. we have loads to talk about,” tom says rather suggestively. you look over and he’s smirking. there’s never a dull moment with this man. that’s actually just what you need right now. “true. you start,” you prompt him, your arm brushing against his. “tell me all about you.” he leans closer to you instinctively.

“well, i’m an actor. obviously,” tom shrugs like it’s no big deal, making you laugh quietly. he really likes your laugh. “besides that. like, what do you do when you’re not acting?” you ask, eyes fixed on him. he’s so pretty under the streetlights. all the time, really. “this is so boring, but i love golf. i’m rubbish, though,” he says the second part under his breath.

“and i thought you were good at everything,” you tease, tom faking a frown. “no, but seriously. it’s probably nice to do some regular stuff when you can.” he exhales in a way that seems reflective. “exactly, i like having some separation. what about you?” “what do i do when i’m not acting?” you ask sarcastically. “sure,” he plays along.

you think about it while you turn the corner. tom watches you intently, like you’re about to say something actually interesting. you’re not. “not much anymore.” he’s about to ask what you mean by anymore, but you keep going. “i took a gap year from uni, so i’ve been getting that sorted,” you continue, looking up at the dark sky. this isn’t your favorite discussion.

“makes sense. what are you studying?” also not your favorite discussion. “i’m undecided. i was thinking about psychology, but...” you search for something, anything you can to change the subject. the first thing you see is the first thing you mention. “your ears are bright red right now,” you giggle and point at one. tom presses his hands to them, feeling how cold they are.

“damn, you’re right,” he gives in to your conversation from earlier. without thinking about it, you pull your earmuffs off. you put them around his head instead. they’re pink with white snowflakes on them. tom looks cuter with them than you do, you think. “here. these should make them a normal color.”

“aw, but i don’t want you to be cold,” he protests and goes to take them off. you grab his hand before he can. “i’m not.” grinning, he properly takes your hand in his. your fingers lace together like you’ve held hands a million times. he lets them drop between you two and keeps leading the way to your mystery spot.

you swing your hands back and forth, smiling when you feel his grip tighten. tom pats one of the earmuffs. “i think we’ll both be warm once we get there.” “where exactly is ‘there’?” you laugh out. it was supposed to be a surprise, but you have to know. he points at something straight ahead. you’re still too far to see it.

“yeah, i can’t tell what that is,” you confirm. his reply is a satisfied hum. “good. let me keep you in suspense for at least five more minutes.” “you’re cheeky, aren’t you?” he chuckles and swings your hands again. “i’ve been told.”

you two finally end up at a hot chocolate stand. there are white lights strung in the trees surrounding it, music playing quietly into the night. the atmosphere welcomes and comforts you as soon as you get on line.

“i figured it would be nice to get one of these rather than making them for a change,” tom fills you in. he seems unsure of it now that you’re here, his voice lower than before. harry’s text is replaying in his head. he wants this to be good enough, more than good enough. should he have planned something more? his nerves die down when you squeeze his hand in yours.

this is the perfect low pressure date you’d hoped for. the focus is on each other and not some fancy meal. you were right about the movies not changing tom. “this place is really cute. i like it.” you move up on line together. “and my hot chocolates kind of suck, so yeah. it is.” “no, i bet they’re delicious,” he reassures you with one of his famous eye crinkling grins.

you chat more about your barista skills and all the kitchen disasters harry has had to save you from. the story of the time you made foam explode all over the countertops has him giggling. his laugh is contagious, so you end up joining in. your laughter eventually quiets because it’s your turn to order.

“hi, we’ll have two large hot chocolates?” tom orders for you two. you shoot him a curious look. “large? i’ll never finish.” the sizes here are huge, which is part of their gimmick. it’s also why tom found it interesting. the joke is that the stand itself is small, but they have gigantic drinks.

“leftovers, then.” he winks at you. you’re disappointed you have to let his hand go while he pays. the cashier says your drinks will be ready shortly. tom thanks him and turns back to you. “you probably got in so much trouble, huh?” he asks about your work horror story. you look him over for a few seconds.

you’re shocked how genuinely interested he is in everything you tell him. there are much cooler things he could be talking about, but he wants to hear from you. it makes you feel like there’s something between you two already. like, you’re old friends or soulmates or anything bigger than two strangers on a first date.

even though it’s still early to tell, you definitely have a connection of some kind.

“nope. i’m better at cleaning than i am at making cappuccinos,” you remark, the cashier coming back with two large hot chocolates. tom hands you yours first. he takes his after. “thank you so much,” he tells the man again. “have a nice night,” you add. the two of you take your drinks to a small table under a tree.

you sit across from each other, tom setting the earmuffs down. he pushes them back to you with a smile playing on his lips. “i like those better on you,” you murmur before taking a sip of hot chocolate. “pink’s my color,” he agrees and does the same. it’s so good that you decide to have some more, even though there’s steam coming from the lid.

“maybe i will finish all of this.” “i knew you’d like it.” tom laughs behind his cup. he got all worked up about it for nothing. you’re having one of your best nights in a while, which almost makes you not want to bring up the next topic. it’s sadly inevitable, so you might as well get it out of the way. christmas.

“so, do you have any plans for christmas?” you start, downing another sip. tom puts his drink down and leans back in the chair. “i’m staying over my mum and dad’s. we’ll have our traditional holland celebration.” he smiles to himself just thinking about it. you’re happy he has something to look forward to. you don’t.

“are you doing anything?” there’s the big question. people usually get awkward when you go into detail, which is exactly why you won’t. “actually, no.” his excitement changes to confusion. he furrows his eyebrows and sits up again. “you don’t celebrate?” “i do, just not anymore. not this year, at least.”

tom is extremely curious what this ‘anymore’ is about. it’s the second time you’ve mentioned it.

“i used to love it. my christmas spirit ran out, i guess,” you eleborate, eyes shifting down to the frozen grass. tom almost frowns. it’s not because he pities you. no one likes that. christmas is one of, if not, his favorite times of year. he just wishes the whole world could be happy this holiday season. the lovely girl sitting in front of him, especially.

there has to be something he can do.

“no, you can always get it back,” he says softly, searching for your eyes. “i’ll help you.” you look up at him again and blink back the tears you feel coming. tom must feel so lost right now. he wouldn’t be with context. you’re going to tell him what happened when you’re ready because you do want him to understand. trusting him feels like an instinct.

“how?” your voice comes out even quieter than his. you pick up your drink to distract yourself. “let’s see,” tom thinks aloud. he snaps when he gets an idea. “have you done any decorating?” “my roommate put up a tree. she never did the ornaments, though.” he gasps over dramatically, earning a laugh from you.

“you can’t leave a naked tree sitting around.” “i told her it looked stupid,” you sigh and sip your hot chocolate. tom holds out a hand for you. “we should go to the shops”

it would be easy to say no. it would be easy to go back home and hide under your covers and avoid the missed calls from your family. the catch is, easy isn’t progress. you can’t move past this unless you work to get it done.

you take tom’s hand and stand up from the table.

“we should also get a ride this time.”

#tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland smut #tom holland imagine #tom holland fic #tom holland x reader #peter parker fluff #peter parker imagine #tom holland fanfiction

91 notes · View notes

astro-rain · 4 years

Text

delicate; b.barnes

chapter four - mri’s & other modern commodities

delicate masterlist

word count: 1.8k

synopsis: bucky faces his first day of treatment, and discovers some new things along the way: some scary, some awesome, some maybe slightly embarassing.

pairings: bucky barnes x fem!reader

[A/N]: not my gif

When he woke up, he scanned his room, making sure everything was the same as how he left it the night before. Making sure no one came in while he was asleep and poisoned his brain. Making sure he was waking up in his living quarters in Wakanda and not a damp cell in some secret Hydra base. It was just something he did now.

Some may call it paranoia, others may call it adaptation. Either way, once he stepped outside and made sure he was alone, he allowed himself to take a breath.

Today was the day, the first day of official treatment. He had no idea what to expect; he was just hoping to high heavens that it would end up working. Freedom. That's all he wanted. Liberation from the chains Hydra had had around him since he fell from the train all those years ago.

He was apprehensive for sure, but he tried his best to keep himself optimistic. Bucky was sure that Shuri was smarter than any Hydra scientist he once came in contact with. So, if they can tear apart his mind, perhaps she can put it back together. Right?

Her in addition to (Y/N). That psychologist woman. He had spoken to her the day before at the lake. She was funny, and she seemed decently easy to talk to. That's a good sign, he guessed. She told him that she hadn't minded relocating to assist in his treatment, but he honestly couldn't make out her true feelings. She was rather hard to read. Perhaps it was a psychologist thing; he tried not to look too far into it.

He waited outside his door until two Wakandans came to escort him to Shuri. Bucky noticed they were armed. Guards. He wasn't surprised nor did he blame them. However, that didn't make it any easier to trust. He hadn't had that luxuy in a very long time. The former assassin fought against the voice in the back of his head telling him to analyze their every move in order to ensure that he wasn't in any danger. That any minute they weren't going to strap him down and rip his brain apart the way it had been so many times before. So many times. He gave the slightest wince at the thought. His brain suddenly felt prickly, painful memories creeping up on him.

Not now, don't think about it.

Sometimes, if he fixated on the thoughts for too long, he would drive himself to this panicked state of fear and constriction. He wasn't sure exactly what this thing was. All he knew was that these things - these episodes - were extremely unpleasant, and utterly unnecessary at the moment.

He shook his head (somehow hoping that this would rid him of the prickly memories like a dog shaking off water), strands of long brown hair swaying quickly in front of his eyes, and fixed his gaze to the floor.

Floor. Floor. Floor. Floor. Just the floor. The floor. The floor. The floor-

"Sergeant Barnes!" Shuri welcomed him happily.

Oh. He was in the lab now. He let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. Let's do this.

"Good morning," he smiled, "and just Bucky's okay."

"Of course, of course. This is my lab! Best place in Wakanda in my humble opinion. Today's only the first day of treatment, so nothing too intensive. But, we will be working all the same!"

He glanced around the lab. The guards were at the doorway and they didn't look like they were leaving anytime soon. Again, he wasn't surprised. Moreover, sitting at a table a few feet from Shuri, was a familiar face. This familiar face soon met his gaze.

"Hi, Bucky" (Y/N) greeted, offering a polite smile. "See! I remembered this time."

Bucky grinned. "Are you still (Y/N), or is it Dr. (Y/L/N) since we're in the lab now?"

"I'm always (Y/N)."

"I don't know, if I went to school for as long as you did, I'd make everyone call me Doctor," Shuri added.

(Y/N) laughed. "Well, if you want to call me Doctor you're more than welcome, Shuri."

"That's the spirit, Doc," she declared before turning to Bucky. "Now, follow me and we'll get a quick MRI done."

"A what?" He quickly caught up to Shuri who already started walking away.

"An MRI. It stands for magnetic resonance imaging. Basically, scanners use strong magnetic fields, magnetic field gradients, and radio waves to generate images of the organs in the body."*

Yes, very basic.

(Y/N) leaned over to Bucky, explaining softly, "It's used to form pictures of the anatomy and the physiological processes of the body."**

"Oh."

"You just lay down and it scans you. Y'don't even feel anything."

"Thats... not too bad, I guess."

"It's a bit of a tight fit though, so I hope you're aren't claustrophobic."

Bucky rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, after cryo, I doubt tight spaces will be too much of a bother for me."

"Right," said (Y/N), "but it's still decently in your personal space. Just so you know - so there's no surprises."

He nodded. They didn't say anything until Shuri stopped short in front of them. She stood a couple feet from a shiny metal table which was lined up in front of an equally shiny and metallic semi-cricle arch. It was long enough to fit - well, would you look at that - a body.

"Oh. I guess there is a surprise," (Y/N) blurted, turning to Shuri, confused. "That isn't like any MRI machine I've ever seen."

"That's because you're in Wakanda," Shuri flashed a proud smile. "Tech's a bit... advanced here."

(Y/N) turned to Bucky. He thought he saw something resembling self consciousness flow across her features, but he wasn't sure.

"Sorry, I guess I was wrong. But, honestly this is way better than a typical MRI set up. It's much more open... and wide. Regularly, it would be like a super narrow tube with hardly any space inside. This way, you'll even be able to see us and the rest of the room."

That's good. More space. More freedom. And he'll be able to see her- them, see them.

Shuri clapped. "Alright! Shall we get started then?"

He had no idea how any of this worked; he was way out of his element here. He just barely learned what a damn MRI was, and had to hide his shock when he found out. Medicine has changed dramatically since 1945. Although it is helpful, he is completely clueless. Great.

"Do I jus-just lay on the table?" He asked, unsure.

"Yep! Just lie there and be absolutely still, and I'll do the rest," Shuri replied, reassuringly as she walked around to a control panel next to the machine, preparing to start.

Bucky took his place on the thin metal table, and he thought he was seeing things. Was it was levitating? Honestly, from what he's seen so far he wouldn't even be surprised. He stared up at the ceiling, getting lost in thought. A string of various questions and uncertainties fluttered through his battered mind.

Would the metal arm interfere with the magnet- oh. Right. No arm. Just a scan, no need to worry. (Y/N) said it would be fine. Can I even trust her Then again, can I even trust anyone yet? She's the best I got right now. Damn it, I wish I wasn't so wary of everyone.

"Hey," a gentle voice pulled him out.

He looked over to the left of him, the side with no arm. (Y/N).

"I can practically hear your brain whirring around right now - which is justified - but do you need anything?"

'Do you need anything?' He hadn't heard that phrase in a while.

He adjusted his body on the table. "I'm alright, just... a bit out of my element here."

She nodded, knowingly. "Honestly, me too. This lab looks like somethin' out of a sci-fi movie for me, so I can't imagine what it must feel like to you."

She was looking down at him. He felt vulnerable, exposed. It seemed like she noticed.

"Here, I have an idea."

With that, she turned and grabbed something from a nearby table. Rotating around to face him again, she displayed what she had taken: a pair of headphones... but without a wire? What the hell?

"Are they broken?" he asked, feeling perpetually confused.

"No, they're wirelessly connected to my phone. It's called bluetooth."

The look on his face was almost laughable.

"Bluetooth? What kind of name is Bluetooth?"

"The kind of name that I didn't invent nor should I be blamed for," she chuckled. "Do you want to listen to music while you're in there? It might help to keep you down on Earth with us."

Music. The thought was almost surreal. He hadn't been privileged with such a pleasure in longer than he'd care to admit. It actually seemed... nice.

"Y-yeah," he said, pondering. "That'd actually be nice."

"Awesome."

She leaned over him to put the headphones on his ears, causing him a very conflicting series of emotions.

First of all, close. She was very close to his face. His face, his eyes, his nose, his lips. It almost seemed a tad bit intimate. And then he realized he hadn't been this close to a woman in forever. A real woman, not some fellow assassin he had to take out. He hoped the shy embarrassment he felt didn't show on his cheeks.

Second of all, she was wrapping something around his head, his brain. He tried not to, but he couldn't stop the muscle memory of what he'd been conditioned to feel. Hydra's machine would wrap around his head and rip his psyche apart. His mind expected pain, the worst pain, the dehumanizing, out of body, mind splitting pain. He hoped the way he flinched ever so slightly didn't offend (Y/N).

She didn't seem offended, and her voice was soft. "You're good. Just music and a scan. Then you're done."

He looked up at her face, reassuring and calm. He took a deep breath.

"Good?" she asked.

He nodded. "Think so."

"If it's too much at any point just let us know, and we'll pull you right out. It's your comfort level, your choice."

His choice. Choice. Control. The prospect gave him comfort.

She gave him one last look before stepping away and signaling Shuri to start the machine. The seemingly levitating table began a smooth descent into the machine when the music started playing. It almost startled him, but he then he was pleasantly surprised by what he heard.

There were loud drums, guitar riffs with attitude, and voices that had so much emotion they were almost screaming. It was like no music he had ever heard before, and he loved it. In fact, he was so into it that he didn't even notice when the MRI had finished. That is, until he felt a feather light hand on his shoulder. His eyes opened, and (Y/N) had the biggest grin on her face. While taking the headphones off of him, she looked very pleased with herself.

She looked at Shuri but declared to no one in particular, "Bucky likes Rock and Roll!"

- - -

* = from wikipedia

** = from wikipedia

#bucky barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky headcanon #marvel #steve rogers #bucky blurb #bucky drabble #bucky fic #bucky imagine #bucky reader insert #avengers #avengers fanfiction #marvel fanfiction

181 notes · View notes

calypsoff2 · 3 years

Text

Seventeen. Part 2

My smile grew, I spend every waking morning with my girls and night too. It’s been a while since I have experienced this with all three, they sleep in the bed with me, all three, well. We decided that I sleep in the middle, I don’t know how that came about but it’s been hard because I get into bed later than them, having to squeeze in the middle but I wanted to make sure Imani is away from them two too because of her arm, they may push her while they sleep so I just put that barrier between them. I honestly think my girls enjoy Paris; they love it here. They love their tutor, she keeps teaching them French, but they enjoy it, just to see them ever so happy when I come back from meetings. I think it’s actually a good thing, besides when Rylee had a breakdown on the first day here, when I left to go she cried so much thinking she was coming to work with me, I never said that shit. She will be coming with me today for the event, all three of my beautiful girls will be. Sometimes I feel it’s surreal, it’s surreal that I am a mother of three, I sometimes think how the fuck did that happen. I have three kids, I may have had five, but I got these beautiful babies and I adore them, I love being a mom. My daughters are coming with me to this event more to do with the Fenty Kidz line, they will be the face of it. And the company in general want to meet them but it’s informal, they won’t really notice it’s actually something bigger for them, but I am excited for their future, they have a really bright one. But when LMVH found out my daughters were here with me, they said bring them we want to meet them and I wasn’t so sure but knowing the fact it’s going to be informal for them, they won’t notice it. I will be keeping them close though, I don’t trust people that easily because we went out last night, leaving the hotel was bad. The fans were reaching out, they were grabbing my kids too and I was so angry getting into the car, Jah helped us a lot, but they are really bad overseas paparazzi and I dislike that they really be in my babies faces for no reason too. I am just tired from last night too, I be working and trying to be a mother which is busy for me.

I huffed out as I sat down on the couch, my team all look just as tired as me and I don’t blame them. It’s a busy schedule being here “is your husband ok?” Jah asked, looking up at him “why ask?” I questioned, not like Jah to ask about Chris when all Chris does is be an ass to him, in a funny way of course “I heard that his parents’ home got broken into? It’s rather sickening that someone would do that, so I was asking” I paused just frowning at him, how the hell he know this “how do you know?” I asked, I mean I know I didn’t say anything to these about the break in “no need boo, TMZ said it all and they already got the people” I gasped “what!? I mean how long did I sleep for!? What the fuck” I am shook “literally just saw it now, it just happened now actually. They caught the people, they were selling your pictures and a car, there pictures of you and the girls” I gasped “wait a minute” I said confused on what I just heard “yes boo?” Jah said a little confused “picture of me and my kids!?” I spat, I didn’t know that part but then again I haven’t spoke to Chris at all but the time difference is a bitch so I will have to work that out “according to TMZ, they caught the guys because they were trying to sell the picture of you and the kids, on eBay that is and boasting on Twitter about it. The pictures are the photoshoot ones, the ones you don’t show the world” I groaned out “I am sick of people, I wish they left my family alone, but we need to proceed. The girls need to get ready, I was thinking let’s plait their hair” Yusuf gasped “oh we going to be busy today, so we going to have the babies all the same including you?” nodding my head “yes but I am excited for today. My babies first red carpet, it’s going to be big for them” Tina cooed out.

“I am not sure though, I feel like I am putting them in the spotlight, I talk about not wanting my kids in the spotlight but here I am. I know there is going to be big designers there, there is going to be people that are going to take interest but it’s for Fenty Kidz, it isn’t for them, but I feel it’s going to open doors for them” so many decisions “they are beautiful girls Robyn so honestly I get why they are going to take interest and I feel like Fenty Kidz is going to be a hit, just like every other line this will too. Imagine Fenty and Fenty Kidz, parents matching with their kids” nodding my head “you got a point but yeah, we shall see. I wish Chris was here, but I was proving a point a point” rolling my eyes “what point is that?” Tina asked “that I can take my girls with me, that I don’t need them. I have backlash from my mom saying that I leave my kids and I am just not being active enough in their life so here I am proving a point, and at the end of it. Chris is finding it hard; he didn’t actually want me to go at all, but he was the same man that was complaining too but he apologised anyways, he was just missing me. But here we are, erm why are you here?” I said to Imani “I don’t’ want to do that anymore” she mumbled, she looks grumpy “you’re supposed to be learning Imani” I think she is unhappy about the cast; she walked into me and placed her head on my lap, my poor baby girl “it’s ok, you can stay here” she clearly doesn’t want to learn anymore.

Imani and this mood of hers, she was refusing to let Yusuf do her hair so she is sat on my lap and now is allowing him to do it “mommy it done” she pointed at her tablet, I didn’t even notice that. Holding the tablet up “well let’s put this episode on” her and paw patrol, she will never not watch this “there you go” side eyeing Yusuf, he was about to burn my arm “girl, you know how hard it is when diva doesn’t want to listen. Don’t’ give me that face boo” he has a point but still, he nearly burnt me there, Imani whined out “Imani, not long left. Don’t do that, Yusuf is being kind to you” Tianna is rushing over with the phone in hand “yes baby” looking at her “Jah locked the phone mom, I can’t get in” who the hell is this phone “who’s is it?” I questioned “Tina” this girl “give it back to her, Jah locked it because it’s not yours now go” they will do anything to get onto social media “kids” Yusuf said “I know, they get above themselves. The other two that is, they are sly with things too. I hate when Rylee tries to be a smart ass and Tianna, she can do it too. Like they want to be grown” this shit actually stresses me out “I can tell it upsets you” nodding my head “it does” I mumbled, my daughters are growing “I am not ready for that teenage phase yet, my god. Rylee is right Yusuf, in ten years she will be eighteen, I am going to cry” I chuckled “I better be doing her hair too girl” I snorted laughing “you will, don’t worry boo” it’s scary.

Fixing my Burberry cap “you look like you are ready for business” Jah said, I think I got my business hat on now. I am business mommy mode, I am ready to get down to business. I can’t do business when I have a clingy child, Imani will not let me go at all “I want to take this mommy” nodding my head just hearing her “let’s go and see your sisters now” walking off “mommy” hearing Imani say behind me, near in tears behind me “Imani I am here, don’t worry” Tianna and Rylee are both ready “mommy you look so pretty” Rylee said to me “aww thank you princess and look at us all matching” we are wearing a black minidress with Burberry trench coat and cap. My mini me’s, I swear my whole heart is just glowing right now seeing all three of my girls just dressed like me, I mean besides the heels and their dresses being longer than mine we are all the same “mommy we the same” Tianna smiled so wide “we are baby, come on. We need to take a picture for daddy, I promised we would. We can make him happy” shuffling over to the balcony “come on Dennis, got those photography skills going” I have missed just doing this, being in Paris actually but I’ve enjoyed having my girls here, they are so cute. Turning around as I shuffled down the arm of the trench coat, turning to my side. Dennis is crouched down already taking pictures, I had to double take “erm, girls” I said looking at them, they are posing like thugs “you are posing like your dad, come here. We need to send dad nice pictures” these girls are doing gang signs, what on earth “you know I haven’t been spending time with them” I said laughing.

I sent the pictures to Chris so I hope he likes them, I think he will be awake or maybe he will be asleep, but he hasn’t called me yet, but we are leaving now for the event “girls” I said, specifically to Rylee and Tianna, they both ran out of the elevator “you two, your mother said” Jah said with his serious face “you’re bald” I heard Rylee say, stepping off the elevator “Rylee Brown! You apologise now, you be kind to him. He is older than you, you give respect” letting Imani’ hand go to get my phone from the bag “Chris” I answered “you all look so nice! I am jealous” I chuckled “aww thank you, I wanted too” I dragged out “we need to be careful there is so many fans out there, we have the police out there too” I groaned out “Chris, I will call you back when I get in the car, just wait for my call please. I want to speak to you” he let out an oh “ok, will wait” disconnecting the call “right, Rich. Can you pick up Imani for me” Imani whined out “no mommy, I go with you” placing my phone in the bag “I am coming, let Rich hold you. I will be right behind you. You two hold my hand, you stay close! All of you, it’s very busy out there” I said, my girls are too hyper. Rich picked up Imani which she didn’t want to be picked but she has no choice in that. Rylee and Tianna both held my hand, Frank and some officers came up besides me “let’s go queens!” I said as I walked off with my daughters, I can literally hear the fans outside and I think because they can see us. Imani is looking at me, she is being so clingy with me now. The door opened and the crowd went wild, the fans went crazy when they saw us, I just stepped out with the kids and I felt like they were going to break free from the barriers, my daughters weren’t scared at all. I think they are so used to the fans being this way now, they are used to the fame.

Imani is sat on my lap; she is ready to fall asleep and we haven’t even left for the red carpet yet. Pressing the phone to my ear waiting for Chris to pick up “twin” he answered finally “baby, I miss you” I said straight away “I miss you too, I miss you and the kids like crazy. I think I feel it even more now because the girls aren’t here but you all good right?” he is missing me; I can tell in the tone of his voice “I am good but are you? I heard that they took picture of us Chris, what the hell?” I didn’t even know that “yeah, I am pissed off. I bid on the shit too, I want it back. That shit is private to us, I don’t like it but they got caught. The guys aren’t talking, they aren’t saying who they are working for and why, just look like some bum ass niggas. Fucked up but I am leaving VA, shit is too hot up here Robyn. I just feel unsafe, even with Pat. Niggas don’t like me, they are jealous, but I am leaving to go to New York, sort the home out for us. My family are stubborn, also my dad made a sly remark about me. He said I am here with aa bodyguard I have changed, with that alone I don’t want to do shit for them but yeah, I am leaving but I want you to have a good time. Y’all look so good, my girls look beautiful. I can’t believe you’re a mother of three, you look amazing” I cooed out, I know he means that “thank you, but Chris. Listen to me, we will talk about this tonight my time. Because it’s not on with what your dad said but I will send you pictures of the girls” he is sad, I don’t like it “thanks, I will let you go love you” my poor baby.

#Chrianna #Chrianna FF #Fanfic #Fanfiction #Chrianna Fanfiction #Chrianna Fanfic

4 notes · View notes

royallyprincesslilly · 4 years

Text

Title: Love, Maybe? {38}*

Chris Evans X Reader OFC Vixen Giovanni

Warning: Cursing, Plot, Heavy Angst, Mild NSFW

Word Count: 4.1K

Summary: After a night of drunkenness you wake up next to warm, hot as hell body, a migraine and no memory of the night before. When you come to realize that the hot body belongs to none other than Hollywood’s golden boy Chris Evans you freak out. As events unfold you become even more panicked to find out you got married in your drunken haze. What else is there to do but get it annulled, right? Before walking away, you share one more night of molten kisses and passion. Three years later you are still living with the repercussions of your brash decisions, but the surprises don’t stop there. The past has a way of coming back and have you questioning is this fate that you’ve been running from, hell could it have been love, maybe?

NOTE: **Italic texts is an inner Vixen thought. Bold Italic texts is an inner Chris thought.

**Loosley Edited/Proofread**

**Slightly Interactive***

Thank you guys for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊❤❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 38: Reality Check

-Chris-

“No, don’t do that sweetheart, you’ll fall in.”

From what he knew about her already he knew she wasn’t going to listen. Sure enough, she leaned forward over the wooden path trying to reach something in the water and sure enough, she tumbled headfirst into the water. He couldn’t help but laugh as he ran to her.

“Really Christopher, you laugh at your daughter?”

“I told her not to do it.” She popped her head up laughing up a storm. “See, she finds it funny.” When he looked at you, you were shaking your head.

“Not funny, she could have drowned.”

“Oh stop it, she can swim.” He plopped her onto the blanket on the shore and sat.

“I otay mama.” She grabbed two strawberries and munched them as he wrapped her in a towel.

The three of you sat and ate the picnic lunch you’d so expertly made and enjoyed the sunshine and the beauty of the day. When he’d brought up showing Ella the lake you reassured him it was a great idea. The way she loved water it would have been a waste not to show her. She loved it. She splashed and was even able to swim around thanks to the calm waters. They’d played together, and she climbed all over him having him pretend to be a tree then a giraffe and finally a water horse. It was great being with her.

With each passing day, she gave him more and more confidence with his parenting and let him get closer and closer. Now she didn’t just run to you for comfort or when she was feeling shy, she ran to him and asked for him. It overjoyed him. He hoped she could tell how much he wanted her, how much it meant to be her dad.

After she ate, she whined for the whole thirty minutes she had to wait to get back in the water. Once the time was up she ran away heeding your warnings to not go too far. He watched you lean back onto your elbows then look to him.

“What?” He shook his head and continued eating his apple.

“Uh no, that was a clear something look. What is it?”

“It’s nothing. You just—I like what you’re wearing.” He really liked it. The two-piece wasn’t skimpy but it wasn’t modest either.

“You like what I’m wearing?”

“Yeah, orange is a good color on you.” He wasn’t lying, it was true. It complimented your skin and made you even more gorgeous.

You snorted and smiled. “Thanks.”

“No, thank you.” He looked to Ella in the water and he could feel your eyes roam his body. He decided to give your moment to gawk. When he looked to you, you were laid back with the sun beaming down on you. The sun loved you.

“Come pway mama, da-da.”

“Coming baby.” You stood and walked toward the shore where she sat but he didn’t move.

“You’re not coming?” You looked back at him. He was enjoying the view too much to get up.

“No, I am, just—enjoying the view.” Your jaw dropped as you looked at him making him smile.

“Watch it.”

His laughter was loud. Tossing the apple to the side, he ran to you and wrapped his arm around your waist and carried you the rest of the way to Ella.

The three of you played in the water and laughed and screamed to your heart’s content. He used his muscle to manhandle you and Ella and she loved every second of it. Every time he tossed Ella into the air he could literally see your heart leap into your throat. It was hilarious. You had to know he would always catch her.

When Ella got tired of playing with the two of you she went off to the shore and played in the mud and collected rocks. She could easily entertain herself. It left the two of you slightly alone a few times. He knew you didn’t want to give Ella any confusing visuals so for the majority of the time your interactions were flirtatious but never overtly inappropriate. He tested boundaries by slyly touching you here or there but always remained respectful. After a little while, it was like a game of who could touch the other without being obvious. He was wining, you were still a giant ball of mystery with how you held yourself reserved all the time. It drove him insane. He wanted to know how you felt.

~~~~~~~~~~~

-Vixen-

You opened your eyes to see both Chris and Ella peacefully sleeping. A little after midday the three of you took a nap in the boathouse. You were the first to wake evidently. Chris was laying on his back with one arm across his forehead and of course, that was the position Ella was in. you smiled at yet another similarity. He couldn’t deny her if he wanted to. It was clear he didn’t want to. Rather than running from any responsibility, he was steadily piling more and more on. He wanted her. if he was to be believed he wanted you too.

Sighing, you stood and carefully walked out and onto the wooden planks and gazed out over the water and the orange glow of the sun on the water. This place was beautiful, and you were going to miss it when you went back to LA, and then San Francisco. You sat and dipped your feet into the water and for the first time thought about going back to reality. It was easy to mistake LA for your reality, but it wasn’t, San Francisco was. How was this little family thing going to work then?

When you felt him behind you, you didn’t jump or feel any alarm, your body was used to his presence. You took a deep breath when you felt his lips press to your neck then your shoulder and you couldn’t suppress the moan that escaped.

“Do you know that you two sleep just alike?”

“We do?” You nodded and again he kissed your neck.

“It’s cute. You have an actual mini you. She looks, laughs, sleeps and eats like you. Her sweet tooth is uncontrollable another thing you share, and God her eyes. Kristella was the right name for her.”

“It’s surreal,” he responded then kissed your shoulder. “Today was great, right?”

“It was. She loved it. Good call.” He began tracing lazy patterns in your skin and you settled back into him and enjoyed the perfectness of the day.

The silence between you stretched as did the comfort.

“I’m so happy and grateful to get a second chance not only to be Ella’s father but with you. Thank you.”

Looking over your shoulder you met his eyes and searched them trying to find any hint of a lie, any hint that he was lying but once your eyes met you knew he wasn’t. Your heart fluttered yet again forcing you to take a deep breath.

“Why couldn’t you have been this way three years ago?” Chris shook his head and a look of remorse washed across his face.

“I was stupid, a dick who couldn’t see what was right in front of me.”

“Which was?”

“The woman of my dreams. Everything I didn’t know then I wanted, everything I wasn’t ready to see. I’m ready now Vixen. I know it might be too little too late, and reap what you sow, and I agree. Honestly, I deserved to lose you back then. As much as it hurts to accept; you were right. I wasn’t ready, not for this or—you. I would have screwed it up, I would have hurt her.”

His candor shook you. it shook you so much that you had to look away or else you’d say something you couldn’t take back. His hand on your chin stops you forcing you to not only keep contact with his eyes but to also full on face him. When you were fully turned sitting on his lap with his arms securely wrapped around you holding you against him you knew what was going to happen before it did.

“I’m sorry for hurting you. I regret it on my long list of regrets. I’m ready to be her father, I’m ready to be in her life, ready to step up in any and every way you want. After seeing your world in San Francisco, I know you don’t need me, you don’t need my money, my influence, my connections or lifestyle. I know you can honestly take me or leave me, but I am ready for you and everything I opted out of three years ago, everything I felt and saw but ran from. I want to be in your life.”

He took a breath and searched your face before he continued.

“You’re so hard to read all the time it really gives me anxiety. I have no idea what you want, how you feel, if you feel anything. Tell me, please.”

You crash your lips to his and kiss him with every emotion you felt. You didn’t want to talk, not with your mouth as least. There had to be a way to answer him, to show him. as you kissed him he kissed you back. You kept your moan low while your hands traveled down to his swim trunks. You unlaced them and freed his straining cock. When your eyes met he saw your intention, he knew what came next and he didn’t protest, he just pulled you down onto his need and laid back onto the wooden planks. Hopefully this was enough for him, hopefully he could hear what your mouth didn’t say.

-Chris-

As he looked out over his backyard he smiled at his family and yours. This was a long way from the first time they got together. Now everyone was laughing, talking and genuinely looked to be enjoying themselves. As he flipped the meat on the grill he smiled and finished his beer. He found you in the crowd laughing with his sisters at the same moment you looked over to him. your smile turned bashful before you bit your bottom lip. That bottom lip drove him crazy and would probably be the death of him. You looked away and went back to your conversation.

“How’s everything over here, son?” your father approached him and looked at the meats on the grill.

“Good, sir. Another few minutes and they’ll be ready to come off.”

“All right sounds good. How are you doing?”

“Good. Are you doing okay sir?”

“I’m good, just wondering when you’re going to tell my daughter you’re hopelessly in love with her.”

He nearly choked on his beer. What’d you say to that?

“Uh, well sir,” he cautiously began.

“You can call me Carmine, we’re family.”

He smiled and nodded. “I appreciate that Si—Carmine.”

“So talk to me. Why haven’t you told her yet?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Why? Yes I know she can be intimidating and appear cold and closed off but I assure you, it’s an act.”

He smiled because hearing that made him feel a lot better for some reason. It meant that you weren’t that way with just him. if your family saw it too you were this way with them too.

“How uh, how exactly do I work around that?”

“Simple. Trust. Show her she can trust you. if you get that squared away then the rest comes easy,” Carmine assured.

“I think I already fractured that trust.”

“What’re you doing about it?”

“Trying to rebuild it. I have no idea it’s even working. She’s still so distant,” he confided.

“I’m sure it’s working. The thing with Vixen is she has the best poker face, but with every poker face, there is a tell.”

“What are her tells?”

“Her actions. If her words say one thing or nothing but her actions are clearly speaking then I’d follow her actions. Like with her giving you more and more freedom with Ellie Bellie shows she trusts you with her. you found a way to lower her fierce mama bear exterior and let you in for her. I wouldn’t worry too much about it. what is meant to be will be.” Carmine leaned back and groaned as if he had not one care in the world.

“Just remember, I don’t own any guns, but I know how to kill a man with my bare hands in twenty-nine different ways if you ever hurt her.”

“Got it, sir.”

Carmine nodded and walked away leaving him with his thoughts once again. He was so lost in them he didn’t hear you come up.

“You wouldn’t last a minute in my kitchen gazing off to nowhere while precious meat was on the fire.” He smiled and looked you over.

“Precious meat huh.” You snorted and shook your head.

“You’re such a horny teenager.”

“Enjoying yourself?”

“I would be enjoying myself a ton better if you would hurry up and feed me.” Again he smiled and stepped closer to and went to your ear.

“Follow me upstairs and I’ll feed you,” he whispered. You smiled.

“You got yourself a date—later. Until then hurry up, we’re hungry.” You walked off to join everyone else.

Fifteen minutes later he brought the meat over to the table and everyone helped themselves. You made Ella a plate and he made you a plate. Conversation never died down and the laughs kept coming, it was great that everyone got along, it was what he wanted when he brought you here. He wanted his family to love you as much as he did.

The vibrating in his pocket had him groaning. He’d tried to ignore it for the last hour, but it kept buzzing and buzzing. He ignored it again and looked up to see you looking down at your phone with a confused expression.

-Vixen-

As you stared at the message from Kassius confusion filled you.

Kassius MSG: Is it true?

MSG: Is what true?

You drifted off to the side as you waited for Kassius’ reply. When his message came in it was a link. You clicked it and immediately the cover of a tabloid magazine popped up and it was you and Chris on the cover. You were sitting together in a restaurant laughing together, it was the bakery from San Francisco. The headline read “Chris Evans Bombshell, Secret Life Exposed.” Your jaw dropped and you looked up to see Chris digging his phone out his pocket with his eyes on you before he looked down to his own screen.

When you looked back to your phone you scrolled through the article. They’d uncovered your identity and even had pictures from Vegas three years ago. There were pictures of the two of you at the altar, pictures of your marriage certificate, pictures of a still from your wedding video with both of you showing off your rings. When you saw pictures Ella you freaked out.

They had it all. As you continued to skim the long article they broke the news that he’d been married for the last three years and that it was a secret. The more you read the more your confusion and alarm rose. They’d dug up where Ella was born, tried to speak to nurses and the hospital. This was invasive as fuck and you weren’t down with it.

You looked up and saw a freaked out look on Chris’ face. you saw him take a step to you, but you got another message. You were so confused as to why the article was speaking in present terms. They didn’t mention the divorce papers at all.

MSG Kassius: Channel sixty-one, right now.

You walked toward the TV that was mounted in the corner and that was when the staggered beat of TMZ came on. They were running the same exclusive.

“Again, exclusive breaking news. Chris Evans, Captain America, the man everyone loves is off the market ladies. You heard it right. These pictures that were taken a few days ago show him on an apparent date with a beautiful mystery woman. The two appear to be having a great time, but she’s not a mystery, Chris knows her well. She’s his wife. You heard right, Chris Evans is married and has been for the last three years.”

“What!” It was Lisa who shot to her feet first. All eyes went to Chris then to you and back to Chris.

“We’ve uncovered the wedding pictures, the marriage certificate, and the lady’s identity. She is Vixen Giovanni, she’s a local San Franciscan who owns a successful restaurant there and is in the works of opening the anticipated Giovanni’s here in LA. The two also share a daughter, you got it a love child who is around two years old. The timing lines up with their wild Vegas wedding.”

The only thing you heard was the blood pounding in your ears but you saw the chaos unfold around you. the parents were on their feet and the siblings were looking around and between you and Chris waiting for an explanation. You saw their lips moving and knew they were speaking but you didn’t hear any of them. You looked back to the TV and just zeroed in on the images of Ella they were plastering all over the screen and pictures of your restaurant and you through the years. It was a major invasion of privacy. Suddenly the narrative changed and the images on the screen were of the two of you in the dancehall in San Fran.

Images of you dancing together and laughing with your faces close together than kissing were everywhere. Through all of that, there was no mention of your divorce. You looked to Chris who looked stressed as fuck. When your eyes met you saw something in his eyes that didn’t sit well with you.

“Chris! What the hell are they talking about? It’s all lies right?”

When neither of you made an effort to explain they became more livid.

“Okay look wait, everyone calm down,” Chris began. Nexus took up Ella and rocked her hoping to keep her calm.

“Calm? Christopher Robert Evans, if you don’t explain!”

“It’s true.”

That was all he got out before all hell broke loose. His mother gaped at him and your mother’s jaw dropped.

“Vixen!

“Chris, I wasn’t there. We weren’t there, none of us were there to see it. how could you do this!?” Lisa looked hurt but furious.

“Chris--,” she began before she stopped.

“Maw I know, I know. I’m sorry. It was a spur of the moment thing, we were both drunk and just did it. we didn’t think about it or anything. It wasn’t a conscious decision either of us made,” he explained.

“So you married my daughter on a whim when you weren’t in your right might? She wasn’t worth a sound decision?

“Dad--,” you began attempting to smooth things out but he held his hand up to you stopping you.

“No sir, it’s nothing like that. You know what I think about your daughter. This was three years ago, we both were—look we know there’s no excuse for it and we’re sorry.” He looked to you no doubt pleading with you for help, but again you saw something in his eyes.

“Nothing to say Vixen? You got married without me there, without your mother. How could you do this?”

“Mom, everyone. Let’s take a breath. Yes, we did this and I understand how you feel. You have every right to be angry. What we did was stupid and irresponsible, we both know that, right Chris.”

He nodded.

“We should have told you guys the same time we told you about Ella. For me I knew you guys would be mad, I knew neither of you would understand and I really didn’t want to disappoint either of you because I got drunk and did something reckless. Back then you guys know I did reckless things for fun and I knew you both wouldn’t like it.”

“Same here, I should have told you. I’m sorry.”

“Wow, you married a complete stranger, then had unprotected sex with them and produced a child. My god Chris,” Lisa said as she paced the floor.

“The thing that they aren’t revealing, and I don’t understand why. We’re not married anymore. A few days after we got married we filed for divorce. We both signed the papers and handled this,” you explained.

The silence around you was the calm before the storm.

“What!” There were several voices that screamed it. It looked like that nugget made them even angrier.

“What do you mean?”

“I went to LA shortly after and we filed with Chris’ lawyer. It was taken care of.”

“So first you irresponsibly get married, irresponsibly have sex, then get a quickie divorce and decide to lie about it for three years?”

They way they said it made it sound like the two of you were children and made questionable decisions. Across the way Chris rubbed his forehead.

“Vixen, I don’t know how you could do this. You were married and you threw it away. You had a husband and now it’s all wasted.”

You were confused. She was pissed you got married and now pissed you were divorced. You couldn’t win with her.

“Actually,” Chris began. All eyes fell to him, but he avoided your eyes as he looked to be thinking about something. When his eyes met yours, you had a bad feeling.

“The reason why they didn’t break the full story is because that is the full story.”

“What?” Chris slowly walked to you, but you stepped back cautiously.

“You’re right, we signed the papers and I thought they had been filed, all this time I thought it went through but Sherman called me a few weeks ago and told me that because of some things he was going through he didn’t end up filing the papers. He went to rehab and then left LA for a while. They sat in his desk all this time. I didn’t know Vixen.”

As he spoke he kept trying to get closer, but you didn’t allow him to. A plethora of emotions filled you, shock, confusion, disbelief, hurt, anger, disappointment and a slew of other things. The one that was prevalent was hurt. He’d lied to you and kept something super important from you. something that you had every right to know. The last few weeks flashed through your head, every moment with him, every kiss, every time you slept together. It all felt manipulative now. You began to wonder if he had an agenda this whole time.

You didn’t know what to say, so you didn’t say anything. You walked away inside and upstairs. There you found Nexus and Ella in your room watching TV and laughing together. The minute you walked in Nexus went on alert.

“Is everything okay?”

You pasted a smile on your face and nodded. “Perfect.”

You walked to the closet and pulled out your bags and began packing them. You didn’t bother folding anything, you just threw things in not caring if they wrinkled or got ruined. you went through the room like a hurricane and just dropped everything in your bags. After twenty minutes you were done then you walked into Ella’s room and tried to keep your tears in. you packed her things and pressed the button you had that made you able to push things to the side.

When you finished you walked back into your room and scooped Ella up. “Nex, when you are leaving can you bring the rest of her things?

“What happened? What’s going on?”

“I have to go, please don’t make this a thing.” She nodded understanding you were trying to keep this as calm as possible. You walked out and down the stairs and out the front door.

“Wayo we go, mama?”

“On a trip princess.”

“Da-da come?”

“Nope, it’s just you and me, like it’s always been.”

You put the bags in the car and when you shut the trunk there was Chris coming toward you.

“Vixen wait, don’t go. Please. Please let me explain.” You ignored him and walked around the car the opposite way then opened the door and put Ella in the car seat. Throughout the whole action he continued to plead.

“You can’t just leave. What about the last few days, the weeks we’ve worked to get here. Don’t I deserve a chance to explain?”

Sliding into the passenger side you tried to shut the door but he held on to it.

“Vixen, don’t do this, I’m sorry.” You pulled it free and slammed the door then took a breath and drove off.

You had no idea where to go but you knew you couldn’t spend another minute there with him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

***If you want to be tagged please SEND AN ASK SO IT WILL BE EASIER FOR ME TO KEEP TRACK OF. Thank you for reading!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TagList:

@airis-paris14 @thiccdaddy-mbaku @wakandas-vibranium @wakanda-inspired @theunsweetenedtruth @ashanti-notthesinger @reignsxjackson @halfrican-heat @ambthegamer @simplyyamberr @muse-of-mbaku @sisterwifeudaku @mejustme06 @ilcb7 @leahnicole1219 @destinio1 @maliadestiny @drsunshine97 @blowmymbackout @purplehairgawdess @thehuntoyobun @wakandamama @wakandawinning @profilia @zxddy-panther @h-challa @babygirlofwakanda @misswakanda2018 @ororowrites@hutchj @myfavemarvelfanfics @lavitabella87 @afraiddreamingandloving @autumn242 @purple-apricots @skysynclair19 @hersheyskissesss-blog @blue-ishx @90sinspiredgirl @tchallaswife @tchallamakesmeh0lla @turn-thy-paige @blackchickfics @blackpantherismyish @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove @naturally-bri @flawlesslybeautiful14 @qweentbh@lunaerly @theoutereffect@twilight-sapphire-lover @pupyluv247 @stark-red19 @cockyboysandsugarism@maverickabull @madbadsiren @aykanna @myaw731 @ruruly20 @mixedmelanin @brittyevans @bezzywazhere@laketaj24 @soulsparker @theresnomoregoodones @syreanne@loveandcigarillos @heyauntieeee @heybriheyyy @wakanda-bcth @uhlxis @maliadestiny @dadinhas-heat @yaachtynoboat711 @geeksareunique @bultalongthewayside @ajspencer1892 @captiansaveasmut @imaginewhoever @terrablaze514 @starsshines-blog @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @darkandlovely94 @sithlordslut @wavyyc @naturalistamisslyn @nigarachi15 @madamslayyy @blackandfair @kreolemami @mylastnameisthe-fish @kaykay0829@chaneajoyyy @tequilajay27 @blacklotus-of-the-black-kingdom @slimmiyagi @im5ftbutmythroat66 @jaeee-http@madhatterhelsing @sunflowerpsalms @wakanda-shit-is-that @deliciousstreetkidcroissant @jecourt @vebner37 @disneysdarlingdiva @melaninmarvel @alanastormborn@dolphinpink310 @yourwonderbelle @ohleucothea @queentearra @bitchbetterhavemydinner @fentybabyy @kaykay4454fan @priya212 @kitkit1690 @chrismarcs @beautycomesindifferentformsworld @blackpantherimagines @ovohanna24 @sweetpeachjones @kslo000 @nubian-queen18 @omgsuperstarg @airis-paris14 @sisterwifeudaku @mejustme06 @ilcb7 @leahnicole1219 @destinio1 @drsunshine97 @blue-ishx @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove @prettyprincessushio @treeondrea @ursapharoh05 @blackpinup22 @kaytauru @big3gocandykahn @kissingpineapples @wildaboutchrisevans @fitfineandstayingalive @misspooh @michele-onel @gorjiss @blacklotus-of-the-black-kingdom @muva-milaje @limbo-limbo-limbo @awkwardlyabstract @blxck-brxndie @meeky-imagines @inlovewith3 @metalarmlover @mellowjellow6 @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade @thatrandomhetaliachick @missdeerstalker15 @ursapharoh05 @treeondrea @ovohanna24 @marvelheaux @romanceoftheeveryday @mufasathatniggatho @cltex84 @sweetbearcolorgarden @msincognito67 @mosagram @lunaerly @mar-ta-3 @ljstraightnochaser @lewatigress @akimi-youngblood @bekahdean87 @jasmindaughteroftheworld @cocooned-butterfly @emoniclark22 @chereedrop619 @theblulife @niggarachi15 @drsunshine97 @msincognito67 @missdeerstalker15 @wakandamama @avenger-marvel-fan @arieljamiyla @vibranium-soul @monae-boss @queenxchallaxkillamonger@amirra88 @jaeee-http @omg-itsnadi @fonville-designs @sydneebleu @cherrystainedlipsbaby @behindthesehazeleyes27 @areubeingserved @kelbabyblue @academic-glowup @patzammit @yourwonderbelle @pennywisesmistress @squeackygee @noramushrooms @titty-teetee @ab-baybay @kreolemami @impossiblegiantrebelbasketball @dangerouslovefanfic @heladoom @renesmeeharelds @zaddysqueen7 @alyxkbrl @hello-therree @taylorveebee @a-dizzle777 @deidrashouseofpain @coldmuffinbanditshoe @evemej @chaselovinggert @ben-wyxtt @designerwriterchic @chrisgalore @jennmurawski13 @rynabarnesrogers @yunggyeezyy @kemkem101 @dearkyrainez @minton131@momobaby227 @jesseswartzwelder @briellableu @browneyes9125 @mjey12

#love maybe fic #Chris Evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans smut #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #Chris Evans X black reader #black fanfiction #angst fanfic #slow burn fanfic

186 notes · View notes

toomanyfandoms02 · 4 years

Text

The Transporter ~Part Three~ // Spencer Reid x Reader

Sorry this took so long!! I have been so busy with work lately, but here she is.

Word count ~ 2,900+

Hope you guys like it :))

I stepped back through the transporter to be met with an empty room. I glanced at the clock on the wall. It read 10:15, that wasn't *that* late. Christine is probably still awake.

I made my way to her room, which wasn't incredibly far from mine. Her door was cracked open and I could see her laying in bed, reading a book in the semi dim lighting. I knocked lightly, pulling her out of her fictional world of Harry Potter.

"Oh! Y/n, I didn't think you were coming back tonight. How was everything?" She gently set her bookmark in the book, placing it on her nightstand.

I couldn't hold back the smile on my face. It was the coolest day of my life, what could I say?

"It was so amazing Christine! I accidentally set myself right into an investigation that I knew about. I met all of them, and it felt different than I thought I would-"

"Did you talk to Spencer?" She asked, nudging my side. I could feel the blood rush to my face.

"Uh, yes." I smiled, looking down at her star clad comforter. "It was incredibly surreal and I can't wait to go back. It was kind of a funny interaction, the first one. He asked me to profile him, which was obviously easy because I know him like the back of my hand. Well I thought that was gonna be the end of our interaction that day. But I accidentally left my laptop at the Bureau."

"Oh yeah *accidentally*." She smiled, throwing air quotes.

"Shush, it was actually an accident." I giggled. "Anyway, he looked up my address I guess and he brought it to me. It was sweet."

"I guess now he knows where to send flowers." I shook my head with a smile. "Well I'm glad you had fun. I hope everything works out well, don't forget there's an actual case though." She winked.

"Thanks Christine, for everything." I waved as I slinked out of the room and down the hall.

I flopped down onto my bed with a simple grin, quickly falling asleep after my eventful day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I slapped my hand over my phone as the alarm began blaring at 9:30. I wanted to fully commit to this whole thing, just like I was in real life. But in reality, I was waking up pretty late, considering I was going to go into their universe at 8:30.

It appeared that Christine was already awake, she was softly knocking at my slightly cracked door.

"Hey sweetie, I take it you wanna head out soon?"

"Yeah! And I'm gonna have to be gone for a couple of days for the case. Get all integrated and such. Is that alright?"

"Yeah of course! Just document some experiences, or anything that seems weird or off about their universe." Chris left the room, shutting my door with a light thud.

I slipped on a white button up, putting a maroon sweater over it to add my own little touch. I looked in the mirror to make sure my dress pants were fitting me correctly and stepped into my two inch black heels.

Since I would be gone for a few days, I grabbed a suitcase plus my go-bag that I had already had from my time interning. The navy blue bag was slung over my shoulder as I walked out my door, immediately bumping into someone. I looked up to see who I remembered as Violet Glynn, who went into the Zombieland Universe.

"Sorry, Violet, right?" I shook her hand. "How's your universe going? I've always loved that movie. Please tell me Columbus is just as sweet and endearing as he is in the actual film?"

I could see her eyes light up with glee, clearly she hadn't had anyone to fangirl properly to, I could tell she was about to explode with information.

"Yes! He is incredibly kind. Talahassee is already trying to dad me, Little Rock and I are already pretty good friends but Witchita is still kinda weary of me, which is understandable. I talked to Ryan, and he said I can only change a few major things so one I chose to do was to keep Columbus from killing Bill Murray. Bill is so fun to live with so far! I just - I am totally talking about myself for too long. How is everything going for you?" I offered her a kind smile of reassurance.

"It's completely fine, I get your excitement. It's really cool, kinda different from the real job I was working. Maybe that's because I'm permanently gawking at one of my coworkers." We both laughed for a moment. "But I'm gonna be gone with him for like 3 days straight so, I guess I'm gonna have to figure something out. When I come back we should talk more." Violet nodded enthusiastically and waved as we walked to our Transporter rooms.

"Of course! See you in a few days."

I could hear Christine's heels clicking not far behind me as I began typing in the date and time.

*February 12th, 8:30 am. 2009*

"Good luck, I will see you in a few days time, yeah?"

"Yep!" I shoved my 'Come back device' in my go-bag and turned on it's much larger counterpart, nodding at Chris as I stepped in.

I was immediately greeted by my apartments bedroom, I could hear my phone buzzing on my side table. I lifted it to see a text from a certain favorite person of mine, and she didn't even know me yet.

*Penelope G*

*Hey sweets! The plane will be ready to be boarded at 9:15. The team is meeting at the BAU first for a carpool, so be there or be square! Have a good time on your first mission, from what I've seen, you're pretty amazing. :)*

I held back a small smile from my lips, this world is just as good as I always wanted it to be.

*Thank you M'lady. I've heard amazing things about you. I hope we can gossip sometime! ;)*

I sent the text and slipped my phone into my back pocket. I chucked a piece of toast in the toaster, quickly spreading peanut butter on it and checking my watch.

*8:45*

I began my walk to the BAU, probably looking extremely weird walking down the street in work attire and a piece of toast slathered with peanut butter. But I was pretty content, continuing to eat it as I reached the doors of my favorite place.

I brushed my hands together to rid of the many crumbs that had accumulated there, seeing JJ and Penelope talking at Jennifer's desk.

"Y/n! Come over here." Penelope waved me over, I pulled at the sleeves of my sweater as I walked over as confidently as possible. "Are you ready for your first case?" She leaned in a little, clearly trying to search my face for a quicker answer.

"Yeah, I think I'm pretty ready. I've done this kinda stuff before but, I'm way more nervous about this."

"I wouldn't worry to much about. I think you already impressed Hotch and Spencer, you read people extremely well. Did you seriously gather all that stuff from Reid just by knowing him for a few minutes?" JJ was clearly now invested.

"Well, yeah. He's relatively easy to read, as long as you're paying attention." JJ nodded with a smirk.

"Well, you certainly made a good first impression, you honestly sound a lot like Reid, maybe you can..." I watched as she peered behind me, her words trailing off. Her eyes darted back and forth between me and whatever was happening behind me. I whipped my head around to see Spencer walking in, he was distracted my a book, which made me smile. But that smile quickly faded as I scanned my eyes over his outfit.

He was wearing a white button up with a black tie and a maroon vest over it with black dress pants. Sound familiar? All but the black tie.

"Maybe you are even more like Reid than I thought." JJ smirked at me. All the blood had run to my face and my feet felt bolted to the ground. Why this? Why on my first official day? I could hear Garcia holding back a laugh behind me.

"This is adorable I'm sorry." She said, giggling a little.

Spencer finally looked up from his book, hearing Penelope laughing. He furrowed his eyebrows, squinting a bit. Probably wondering why I looked like a deer in headlights. He looked down at himself.

Then back up at me.

Then down at himself again.

He just smiled at me and closed his book all the way, adjusting the go-bag he held on his shoulder. I nearly dropped mine.

"What just happened?" Penelope nudged my shoulder. I shrugged and shook my head.

This was clearly going to be quite the day.

I ended up carpooling with JJ, Morgan and Reid. JJ and I sat in the back while Morgan drove, Spencer spitting facts to him about cars and traffic.

"Well, according to the DC Department of Motor Vehicles, there are almost 450,000 active drivers registered in the District. However, millions more drivers commute to DC from neighboring communities in Maryland and Virginia. D.C. is also host to millions of tourists from around the world. In 2014, more than 20 million people visited D.C., many of them renting a car or driving their own vehicle to visit." He rambled.

"Reid, all I said was there was a lot of traffic today."

"I mean he's right though." I piped in. Spence looked back at me with confused eyes. "Washington D.C. is also home to some of the worst traffic in the country. Analysts estimate that the average driver will spend 7 hours a year in traffic, wasting 6 gallons of gas. However, for D.C. drivers, one estimate found the average driver is spending 67 hours a year in traffic, wasting 32 gallons of gas while sitting in traffic." I think hearing him so much on the show, made me a little bit like him in some ways, my friends always rolled their eyes at me whenever I rambled. The only real one who listens is my uncle. He had turned around, but I could tell he was smiling.

Success.

"Good lord there's two of them."

I'll take that as a compliment.

We boarded the plane and I decided on a window seat, leaning my head up against the cold glass. My hand was unknowingly gripping the armrest a little too tightly.

"Are you a nervous flier?" I would obviously know that voice from anywhere, but right now it was coming from right across from me. I leaned my head back on the headrest.

"Not necessarily, I've flown quite a few times. I've just never been in a jet."

"The key difference between jets and propeller planes is that jets produce thrust through the discharge of gas instead of powering a drive shaft linked to a propeller. This allows jets to fly faster and at higher altitudes." He loosened his tie a little. "So I wouldn't worry too much, it feels about the same."

"Well thank you."

It was silent for a bit, but once we were in the sky we began talking about the case. Emily was talking about how she wants to be cremated because being buried was gross and weird.

"I actually agree with you. I think cremation is more personal too, I want someone to sprinkle my ashes somewhere. Not have to visit my grave and waste money on flowers every year."

Me and Emily got into that conversation as the rest of the team slowly started to do their own things. Spencer was back to reading his book, one page every 5 seconds. He peered over his book for a moment, but only a moment.

"I like your outfit by the way." He mumbled, still focused on his book, he lowered it a bit. I could see a smirk creeping onto his features. My ears began burning as the blood rushed to them.

"Thanks." I really wanted to say more to him, but it felt like my jaw was wired shut.

Morgan was not so discreetly looking over at us with eyebrows raised. But I kept my eyes out the window.

We landed about 2 hours later. I had kept myself occupied by writing down everything that just happened, so I wouldn't forget, and for Christine.

"Morgan, Reid, y/l/n, you go with the police search party and find what you can. Prentiss and I will talk to their chief. Rossi and JJ, set us up in the station."

Once we were there, we were put on a search party with the police, they quickly found the body of another woman covered in mud and holding a cross necklace. We were bringing the evidence back to the station with the others. On the way back, Spencer was telling me about the history of gold cross necklaces. I could practically hear Morgan rolling his eyes the whole time, but I just loved hearing him talk.

Once we were there, Rossi showed his blatant coldness towards the psychic that was telling a scared mother that her daughter was okay. Hotch began sending us off again, and we were off to see the bodies.

Days here moved so fast.

Once we arrived I stared at the body on the table. I lightly touched her arm, cold as ice. Seeing these body through the screen was one thing, but knowing these are real people, it's even more sad. Of course I had seen many bodies in my time, but the thought that this wasn't fictional anymore made my stomach churn a little.

"I found trace amounts of seamen, but there is no sign of sexual assault."

"Are you saying this was consensual?" Spencer tilted his head a bit. No no sweet child.

"She's saying it's happening post-mortem." I said, looking down a little. Morgan nodded and Reids face scrunched. This poor woman.

I knew I couldn't change much, because that could royally screw some stuff up, si throughout the whole thing I decided I would change things little by little to move it along faster. What I did this time was make it so we didn't waste time and interrogate the random man who was accused of being a necrophiliac, because his timeline wouldn't match up.

We made it to the house just a smidge earlier, Brooke was found on the operating table in the abandoned home, completely fine.

The days had become exhausting, as soon as we got on the jet I sat in the same seat, dropping my bag down and grabbing a small pillow out of it. I set the pillow against the window and drifted off to sleep fast.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up to JJ shaking my shoulder, opening my eyes to see a blanket that read *e=mc²* all over it.

"What is this?"

"Oh, I believe Spence put that on you while you were asleep. You were shivering and he happened to have it in his go-bag I guess." She shrugged. "Everyone is heading home, so you want a ride?"

"That would be amazing, thank you."

"No problem."

It was only 5 pm, and Christine wouldn't be expecting me back until tomorrow. So I decided I was gonna get some stuff done with my time, more specifically one big thing.

I grabbed the wad of money that Chris had given me and waved down a taxi. I had them take me to the nearest car dealership. I made a hasty decision and bought a 2007 Mini Cooper. Now I could do what I really wanted.

I looked up Spencer's address and grabbed his blanket, which I had neatly folded and threw on my coffee table. He appeared to live around 15 minutes away by car.

Once I was there, nerves had set in, but I ignored them as I reached the door and knocked 3 times.

I heard a faint "Coming!" From the other side of the dark oak door. He answered with his phone propped up on his shoulder, talking to someone.

"Sorry Mom, I gotta go, love you." He hung up and pulled his phone from his ear. "Hey, what are you doing here."

I presented his blanket to him.

"I figured I would return the favor of you bringing me my laptop by bringing you your blanket." I flopped it into his outstretched arms.

"We have got to stop meeting like this." He smiled, bringing the blanket to his chest. "Would you like to come in?" He brought his hand to the collar of his shirt, attempting to loosen the strain it clearly had on his neck. "I just made a pot of coffee. And since you're just about the only one who actually listens to my ridiculous amount of rambling, I figured we could ramble together? I mean I don't know you very well and I honestly want to be the first to befriend you, you're very intriguingly different. Not in any kind of bad way I just-" His face was slowly getting more red and I could see that his grip on the poor blanket was almost white knuckle.

"I would love to." I stepped into his apartment with a sigh.

Was this a dream?

Maybe.

If so, I wanna be asleep *forever*.

Taglist!!

@natibugg31

@onceupona-diamond

@buck-barn

@cyndagoaway

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid x y/n #dr spencer reid #criminal minds fic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fanfiction

50 notes · View notes

iamtrebleclefstories · 4 years

Text

Every Day I Love You More - Ch. 5

Chapter 5 - YOU DIDN’T KNOW?

After having drunk sex, Jo and Alex are having a baby. An actual baby. Here’s how everyone finds out.

-Sequel to I’m Happy Right Here with You-

Alex slips up, more people find out.

It had been three days since Callie found out about Jo’s pregnancy and there had been no shortage of teasing remarks from Callie and Cristina. Every time Jo or Alex were left in a room with either of them, they were forced to hear the endless jokes being made about them and their drunk sex baby. Jo found it funny if she was being honest. The lightheartedness of this pregnancy was so refreshing considering what happened the last time. The jokes were a welcome distraction from the fact that Jo was in the process of filing from divorce from Paul and her lawyer was going to submit those papers by the end of the week.

That morning, she’d woken up before Alex did, which wasn’t unusual. However, for the first time in weeks, she woke up without the sudden need to vomit. She laid there on her side and stared at his sleeping form for a while longer. It was surreal waking up next to him. This morning especially so, since it wasn’t clouded by overwhelming nausea. Jo was convinced that there was no way that this was her real life. She had to be dreaming.

She had been stroking his hair for a few minutes when Alex spoke, “You know, watching people sleep is kind of creepy.”

Alex opened his eyes only to find Jo rolling hers, “Can’t you be normal and just say, ‘Good morning, babe. I love you and I can’t believe you’re carrying our baby.’ Can’t you do that?”

“Good morning, babe. I love you and I can’t believe you’re carrying our baby,” Alex gave Jo a quick kiss as Jo gave him a look of annoyance. “Hey! You’re not throwing up today. That’s a good sign.”

“Yup,” Jo nodded. “I feel great, actually. I think the baby finally decided to cooperate.”

Alex placed his hand on her flat stomach, “I can’t wait until you have a bump.”

“You mean until I get fat? Honestly, neither can I,” Jo smiled. “But Lucy said it might be a while before I start showing. I have a retroverted uterus so I’ll probably start showing later than most women. But I guess that’s a good thing. The longer I can hide my pregnancy, the less of a chance for Paul to find out and try plea presumed paternity and make our lives a mess.”

“He can try and try, but he won’t win, Jo. This is our kid and if we need to do a paternity test to prove it, then we will. He has no rights here,” Alex assured.

Jo took a deep breath and thought of how supportive Alex had been ever since she had confessed to him about her marriage. She exhaled, “You’re right. He has no rights. This baby is ours and he can’t take it away from us.”

They laid in the bed for a few more minutes in silence before deciding it was time to get up and get ready. After having been on Peds for over a month now, Jo had switched onto a different service for the next couple weeks. A part of Jo was a bit disappointed that she wouldn’t get to spend the entire day with Alex anymore, but she supposed she should be excited for a chance to learn something new. For the next two weeks, she’d be on neuro with Derek Shepherd.

When Jo and Alex arrived at the hospital, they parted ways and Jo went down to the residents’ lounge. She smiled as she saw her friends getting changed into their scrubs for the day. Jo grabbed a clean pair of scrubs and started to change clothes. Just as she was pulling her shirt off, she heard Stephanie whistle.

“Damn, Jo. Did you do anything different? Because your boobs look great,” Stephanie commented.

“Oh,” Jo laughed awkwardly. “It’s just a new bra… is all. Ever since Alex and I got together, I decided to update some pieces of my wardrobe if you know what I mean.”

“Look at Jo, trying to be all sexy for her man,” Stephanie teased.

“I bet he loves it,” Leah wiggled her eyebrows. “How many times a day do you catch him staring at your boobs in that thing?”

“Way too often,” Jo admitted.

The girls laughed and continued to get dressed. Once ready, Jo made her way to the Neuro ICU where she’d be meeting Dr. Shepherd for rounds. It had been a while since she had been on a neurosurgery, so Jo was excited for the next couple of weeks. The first patient she’d be rounding on was a trauma that came in last night. The man had massive internal injuries that were addressed immediately after coming into the hospital. He had not been stable enough last night to take in for surgery that would stop a slowly growing brain bleed, so Dr. Shepherd would take him in first thing this morning to correct it.

“Wilson. It’s good to have you on my service again,” Derek smiled as they walked out of the patient’s room. “How are you doing? I haven’t really gotten a chance to speak with you since you and Karev got together. He’s been hogging you to his service.”

“I doing great,” Jo grinned. “Excited to be on neuro again.”

“Well, you will be getting just a bit of peds today,” Derek shared. “We’ve got a baby with spina bifida that we’ll be working on this afternoon with Karev. Are you thinking about going into peds?”

“Honestly, I don’t know,” Jo shrugged. “I like everything. I do love peds, but who knows? Maybe I’ll end up in cardio or neuro or ortho. Don’t tell Alex I said that, though. I think he’s trying to be my Robbins.”

“No worries. Your secret is safe with me,” Derek chuckled. “Come on, let’s go. We’ve got a brain bleed to stop and a couple aneurysms to clip before our fun spina bifida surgery.”

The day went by pretty smoothly for the most part. The guy with the brain bleed came out of surgery without any major deficits. Jo had assisted in a couple aneurysm clippings and now they were on their way to the pediatric wing to visit the spina bifida baby in the NICU. When Derek and Jo arrived, Alex was already giving the parents a brief rundown of what their baby—Brandon’s—surgery would entail. Derek explained the procedure in a bit more detail and encouraged the parents not to fear.

While Jo prepped the patient, Derek and Alex prepared to scrub in together. Alex looked up at the older man, "Hey, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, Karev. What is it?" Derek nodded.

"Has Jo been okay today? I'm just wondering because she looked a little dizzy and unsteady this morning before we left the house," Alex inquired.

"She's seemed alright to me," Derek encouraged. "We've performed quite a few surgeries today and she hasn't swayed once. Why is something wrong?"

"No," Alex shook his head. "I was a little worried. She just got over the morning sickness a couple days ago and it was pretty hard on her. I didn't want the next thing to be dizzy spells that could affect her work."

Unsure what to do with the new information he'd received, Derek just decided to go about the conversation as if he know what was going on, "Oh, well she's fine. Great even."

Alex nodded thankfully as Derek mulled over Karev's words. Alex must've thought that Derek already knew about Wilson's pregnancy from Meredith, so he decided to go about the procedure as if nothing had happened. The surgery was successful and Derek decided that he'd let Wilson leave early. Everything else could wait until tomorrow.

As he arrived home that night, Derek kissed his wife and kids. He ate something quickly and spent the next few hours on the phone with D.C. as they tried to come up with more plans about the brain mapping initiative. Finally, at around eleven o'clock, he was able to get ready for bed. Derek had been sitting in the bed reading a medical journal when Meredith walked into the room.

“How was your day?” Meredith asked as she climbed under the covers.

“It was good,” Derek smiled. “I had Wilson on my service today. She is a very good and capable resident. Incredibly sharp. We clipped a couple aneurysms, stopped a brain bleed, and operated on a little boy with spina bifida.”

“Awe, like Zola,” Meredith commented. “Sounds like you had a pretty calm day today. Those are nice when you come home to two kids under the age of three.”

“You are so right,” Derek nodded and gave Meredith a quick kiss. “Oh! I almost forgot. Why didn’t you tell me that Alex is having a kid?”

“What?” Meredith sat up from the bed. “What are you talking about?”

“Wilson is pregnant,” Derek stated. “Karev mentioned something about how he was glad that she was mostly over the morning sickness now. But he said he wanted to keep a close eye on her because this morning at the house she seemed a bit dizzy.”

“What?” Meredith was confused. “Wilson is pregnant?”

“Wait… You didn’t know?” Derek asked.

“Would I be reacting like this if I knew?” Meredith was shocked. There was no way one of her best friends was having a kid and she didn’t know about it. “No. There’s no way. Alex would tell me if he were having a kid. He’s one of my best friends.”

“I don’t know,” Derek shrugged. “He mentioned the morning sickness so casually, it was like he assumed I already knew. That or he slipped up and didn’t realize what he said.”

“No, I’m sorry,” Meredith jumped up from the bed. “I can’t sit here wondering. I’m going over there right now to find out.”

“Meredith! It’s midnight. Don’t go bother them. You’ll see them tomorrow,” Derek tried reasoning with his wife.

“I can’t wait,” Meredith shook her head as she threw on a pair of jeans. “This is huge. This is life changing, Derek. This cannot wait until tomorrow.”

Before long, Meredith was on her way to Alex’s house. When she parked in the driveway, she searched around her purse for the old set of keys to the house. Finding them, she made her way up the porch steps and let herself in through the glass door. She walked up the porch steps and stormed into Alex’s room yelling, “You guys are having a baby?”

Alex and Jo—who’d been sleeping peacefully—startled out of sleep. Jo screamed as she saw Meredith’s dark figure lingering by the door. Alex sat up quickly, trying to assess the situation and determine if they were in any immediate danger. Finally realizing it was Meredith, he slumped back down onto the bed, “Dude. What the hell? Why are you yelling?”

“Is it true? Wilson are you pregnant? Are you guys having a baby?” Meredith interrogated.

“What?” Jo said, distraught.

“Derek said that Alex mentioned how he was happy that your morning sickness was gone, so then he asked me if I knew that you guys are having a baby.”

“Shit… I didn’t even realize I said that,” Alex rubbed a hand over his face. “Jo, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to tell him.”

“It’s okay,” Jo shook her head.

“So, it is true?” Meredith asked. “You guys are having a baby! Alex, how could you have a baby and not tell me about it? This is huge!”

“What is going on?” Cristina had woken up to shouting coming from down the hall and came to investigate once she recognized her best friend’s voice.

“Did you know?” Meredith turned to Cristina.

“Did I know what?” Cristina made a face. “And why are you screaming?”

“Did you know that Alex is going to be a father?” Meredith demanded.

Cristina froze, eyes wide, “Um…”

“Oh my God! You knew and you didn’t tell me,” Meredith accused. “I can’t believe you wouldn’t tell me this. I had to find out about it from my husband.”

“Hold on, you told Derek before telling Meredith?” Cristina looked at Alex. “That’s a crappy move, man. Even for you.”

“I didn’t mean to tell Derek,” Alex defended. “I said something about Jo’s morning sickness and he must’ve thought that Meredith already knew.”

“Hello, pregnant person over here wants to speak,” Jo gathered everyone’s attention. “Look, Dr. Grey. We didn’t want to tell anyone until I hit twelve weeks. I’m sure you can understand that. Yang found out because she lives here and saw the pregnancy test boxes in the trash, and Torres found out because I had to leave the room for an x-ray. I’m sorry you had to find out like this, but if it makes you feel any better, there’s an ultrasound picture on the fridge downstairs.”

“Even Callie knows?” Meredith sighed. “Look, I’m sorry. I was just a little blindsided finding out this way. I’m happy for you two. I’m sure you are going to make wonderful parents. Wait, you said you have an ultrasound picture already? How far along are you?”

Jo grimaced, knowing that as soon as she shared how far along the was there would be a whole new slew of questions. Jo took a deep breath, "Just a bit over ten weeks."

"How are you ten weeks? My birthday was ten weeks ago and you guys weren't together then," Meredith scrunched her face. She lowered her voice and sat down in front of Jo. "Are you sure Alex is the father?"

"Mer!" Alex chastised.

"What? I'm making a valid question," Meredith lifted her hands in apology. "As far as I remember, Alex, you and I had a conversation at my birthday party where I told you that you were being stupid and to make a move because I couldn't stand seeing you pouting and staring from afar."

"We did?" Alex asked. "I don't remember."

"Well, yeah figures, because you were completely wasted," Meredith reminded. "So, explain this to me so I can understand."

Alex and Jo both sat in silence, reluctant to verbalize what had happened that night between the two of them. Cristina, on the other hand, had been waiting for a moment like this to present itself. Bursting at the seams, Cristina blurted, "They had drunk sex the night of your party and accidently made a baby."

Meredith stood there stunned for a moment before breaking out in laughter, "Oh my... oh my God… you guys… Haha, you made a drunk sex baby. you know I can't say I'm surprised that this is how you are becoming a father, Alex. It's karma for all those years of being a man-whore. You on the other hand, Wilson, you surprise me. Didn't think you had it in you."

Jo buried her face in her hands in embarrassment and Alex glared at Meredith and Cristina as he felt his face get hot. This was not how he had pictured Meredith finding out about his kid, but he guessed that there was really no other way that would feel like them. Alex was glad that Meredith knew, because now he could ask her tons of parenting advice and tips on dealing with the hormone changes Jo would be experiencing very soon.

"Wow. I can't believe it," Meredith said after calming down. "Alex Karev. In love. A father. you're all grown up. You see, I told you that Wilson would be good for you."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. You were right," Alex grumbled. "Now get out of my room and go home."

"I'm not going home," Meredith stated. "I'll stay with Cristina. Now, Jo you said something about an ultrasound picture?"

"Yeah... it's downstairs on the refrigerator," Jo replied, removing the hands covering her face. "Well, at least we don't have to worry about hiding it when you come over."

Meredith smiled, grabbing Cristina by the arm to drag her down the stairs to look at the sonogram. Just as Meredith was about to leave the room, she popped her head back in the doorway, "Oh and just so you know, I fully expect to get a copy of every ultrasound photo from here on out."

"Get out!" Alex huffed.

"Goodnight," Meredith grinned.

13 notes · View notes

joyisntyoj · 3 years

Text

04: LETTERS TO NOBODY OR MAYBE MAYARI

Seal stamps, stamps with whatever designs, papers and pens, stickers, pictures, dried flowers, heartwarming messages, and a lot more.

When was the last time you wrote something on a literal piece of paper for someone?

Have you ever personally given someone a handwritten letter or sent it from the post office?

Is writing a letter still a thing today, or you just use whatever app you have because what is the point if other ways are more convenient, right?

Maybe, you are more the vocal type of person and, you just say what you feel instead of writing it down?

Perhaps, you are none of the above because what is important is your presence in their lives and, that is more than enough?

Still, how lovely it is to keep something that has sentimental value. It unnecessarily means that you are hoarding something because what's to not treasure from precious memories in a small piece of paper in an envelope?

This story is for those who never get tired of expressing themselves in whatever form they know, but most especially to those who write.

May you never run out of papers, inks, and thoughts to compose. to more unforgotten memories preserved in letters.

^^^

To: Mayari.

How are you? I wish things were getting better, just like what I always pray. These days, sleeping at night suddenly became serene as well as waking up in the morning. Sometimes my days are dull and typical...I believe? But most of the time, it's either I'm feeling blue or extra sad, or was that the same? I kept on blaming the pandemic, but for real, I'm just a mess. Silent battles are truly tough. I wish I had the courage and strength just like yours. Be safe. Stay sane. I'm really trying my best to be legit all right.

With so much love and kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

Liway is the name, exhausted with life. Mayari, someone out there, maybe a supreme being or plausibly not always receives Liway's letters. Sometimes Liway writes 10 messages at once and sometimes none at all. Mayari is the only recipient of such letters that even Liway never knew they were received by the random recipient it thought was just nobody. It all genuinely started on having a recipient written on the "To:" part at the post office. Though seriously, it doesn't even have any home address. It's super weird that it's for Mayari and no address, and were received.

HOW?

^^^

To: Mayari.

The night has come. This time, it feels heavier than usual. Tears are suddenly falling. I noticed that an unwelcome visitor came. The familiar pain is hugging me again, so tight that breathing is getting harder. I hate everything. Yet, I came to realize a lot of things. Afterward, I'm feeling blessed and grateful. Am I getting crazy? Before I went to bed, at the dinner table, I felt uncomfortable with the conversation we had, my family, about myself back then. I really hate it when they keep on bringing up what happened in the past. I already moved on... I think... so can they stop mentioning those moments? Honestly, whenever anything from the past is introduced again and remembered, I tend to feel like it just happened yesterday. Everything is coming back so fresh and new; fun, pain, sweats, and tears. I hate it.

PS. Mayari, can you send me some courage? Preferably in capsules, So I can have it in my intakes and be sure I'll be really having it in my system literally.

With so much love and kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

Continues writing so many letters filled with how living is like. Liway felt tired and exhausted. A few days ago, it was super overwhelmed that crying is unavoidable. Then this morning, Ms. Walmy called for a little chat and checking up because it's never too bad to check up on somebody, most especially when you're a counselor. It's your job, so uh? Anyway, though Liway was out of focus on the call, it was able to be accomodating and warm in return. It reciprocated the thoughtfulness with a sweet smile.

^^^

To: Mayari

Hey! Today I was mad because firsthand, I experienced that thing I usually hear from other people. The "don't-post-something-revealing-on-social-media-but-love-yourself-but-that's-not-appropriate". Well, I don't even know why I'm reacting super outrage towards it. Because knowing that my family is just concerned for me since the internet is frankly scary. I mean, I did nothing wrong, so why? Maybe deciding to be confident on the internet is not necessary for them. But for me, it is! So how should I deal with this? A friend consoled me, and I feel better. Still tho, my mood is already ruined. Oh gosh.

With so much love and kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

Welcoming a new week, the usual Liway is busy with the household chores. Some may find it stressful, but this one is pretty different. Scrubbing the floor, washing the dishes, brooming on the side. Later on, folding the clothes, fixing the bed, and a lot more things. It looks like it'll be tiring its body out until the nose bleeds, and passing out is the last resort to rest. How come it's easier to clean an actual mess than the one inside the head and heart?

^^^

To: Mayari.

Beloa visited me today. My childhood and the only friend left I have up to this day from elementary school. If you get what I mean? It's been a long time since we had a chat, especially that things are super complicated these days. She's doing really well, and I couldn't be more proud. I'm still amazed at how we manage to be friends because we both don't like each other to begin with. It's so funny that we even pulled each other's hair in the 4th grade while the class is taking the annual picture for the school year remembrance. What are the odds in this even, right? HAHAHA. Today was warm and bright.

With so much love and kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

Dates suddenly don't vary in these letters. Even the concept of time is somehow gone. What's important is regardless of not having these "important details" like the usual, Liway can keep up and be consistent in sending its letters. Liway never missed a chance to send a letter to the address less recipient, which left the post office staff to ponder with it. But as time goes by, Alle, the clerk, is no more surprised 'coz she's used to everything now. The envelopes unfailingly vanished the moment it was dropped inside the mailing box. Indeed, a magical mailbox.

^^^

To: Mayari.

I never knew how amazing pretending could be. You know that thing where someone usually says I'm okay, but really not? The inner saboteur that was triggered by their trauma is real-real-real. A car is useless when it's not moving if you wanted to travel to faraway places. Does that make sense?

PS. It sucks that our bathroom is the only "semi-safe space".

With so much love and kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

Polar bears are really fascinating. They get to hibernate. Then, after the time being, back on hunting and living their lives. Ligaya was one of Liway's hero. A lot knew Ligaya for being a superhero, although she does not have that fantasy powers. Just like the polar bears, too, Ligaya has been hibernating for quite some time but kept on saying that she was not. Liway saw it all. Maybe a bear's hibernation is different from a human-being, hmm?

^^^

To: Mayari.

IDK what to say, but I just wanted to be consistent at the very least in sending you letters.

PS. The radio was broken, but in my head, it's working. It kept on playing nonstop music. Is this a poetic way of saying I'm overthinking things?

With so much love and kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

^^^

To: Mayari.

A lot happened lately. Somebody lost a precious one, and here I am, having a renaissance moment. It's a crazy ride, but for all it's worth, the pea has grown into a beautiful plant. Hope it made sense coz finally, everything is making sense to me now. Little by little, slowly and surely.

With so much love and kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

^^^

To: Mayari

Hey!! I hope you are doing great!!! These days, everything felt surreal. I get to be active everywhere. It's draining, yet I feel so alive than ever. I had this thought that time is indeed just a concept, hmm? I mean, anytime is the right time to do what you want and whatever it is. Nothing is too late, most especially when it comes to growth. OH, being late in class still counts but FOR REAL RIP TO THE ONLINE CLASS SETUP -_-

PS. May we never run out of time to be the best versions of ourselves. LOVE WHOEVER YOU WANT. fck the situation, but SOON, GO ANYWHERE YOU WANT. SPEND FOR YOURSELF AND FOR YOUR LOVED ONES. FEEL EVERYTHING.

PSS. May we leave this world with fewer regrets and more amazing memories.

With so much love and kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

Quite a lot of letters were already sent. The post office is getting more and more letters, as well as Mayari. Still, NO REPLY. Maybe some other, Liway will be able to hear Mayari's words.

^^^

To: Mayari.

*here's an envelope just in case you want to write me something*

With so much love annd kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

'Tis the season to be jolly. LOL Nah. Liway has been out for the past weeks. By out, means on a hibernation mode. A L O T R E A L L Y happened. It's hard to put it into words. I guess Liway will end these letter-sending shenanigans or just lazy and trying to give out some excuses //

^^^

To: Mayari.

Ever since I was taught how to move around the kitchen, I've been assigned to be Mom's assistant while cooking for the feast every event/occasion we'll be celebrating. It's tiring but super fun. Getting your fingers bleed and while unaware is cool LOL~

PS. Why does it feel so good to overthink things while doing the dishes? What's with that scenario.........

With so much love and kindness always and all ways,

Liway.

Tireless hands, heart, and mind with countless thoughts and feelings, papers, and pens everywhere—WRITING; it surely is one of the best ways to vent. Though letters can’t hug and wipe one's tears, witness waves of laughter, ease the pain, and such, the comfort from every word written is more than enough.

Suddenly time barge in and reminded me that this is enough. THIS IS ENOUGH FOR 2020...

A new chapter has arrived, and maybe it's time to move forward. Maybe this is where it all gonna stop for a while. I mean, writing is somehow tiring, literally. Probably, Mayari might reply with the number of letters sent anytime soon, so maybe waiting is all that needed.

No rush in moving on.

MAY YOU GET THE REPLY YOU LONG FOR SO LONG.

PRIORITIZE YOURSELF AND HAVE COURAGE.

BE KIND ALWAYS AND ALL WAYS.

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Little did nobody know, Liway is writing a letter to her "ideal" self.

The letter-sending-to-nobody thingy of Liway is really mind-boggling, right?

Mayari is Liway. Liway is Mayari.

The things that Liway wanted to say but cannot articulate well were always sent to Mayari. Mayari is the version of Liway it wishes to become in the future.

The weak Liway longs and hopes to have "that" someone by her side to look up to. That's why she always writes letters and keeps them in the memory box.

The post office thingy was actually her shared room at home: the table at the corner with no lights but so much mess. It's that post office.

It's pandemic, so how can a post office be open and how brave she is to go out, right?

That saying, "be the hero you wanted to have when you were little", is the best explanation of Liway's way of venting and expressing.

Nobody knows when Mayari will come to life because it's no certainty that we can be the ideal self we all wanted to happen.

For now, Liway is fighting her battles and screaming louder to the universe,

UNTIL WHEN DO I HAVE TO FEEL THIS WAY?

To be continued...

Happy New Year, Mayari. ✨💜

This is like an excerpt from my quarantine shenanigans for 2020 LOL.

#newyear #writing #vent #shortstory #letter

4 notes · View notes

1ddiscourseoftheday · 5 years

Text

Wed 6 Nov

Harry is having a grand old time out there- he's now given us the entire album track list in **** *** format! It seems that yesterday's asterisks did not in fact stand for I WANT A DOG but rather I HAVE A FEW (favorite songs off the LP that is) (if you can believe Harry honestly who knows) but what about the new batch? Looks like we've got a song called TPWK, Watermelon Sugar, and probably Fine Line but the rest.... anyone's guess. Unless that is you believe the leak post of song titles is real but who knows so we'll just have to wait to compare later. We'll also have to wait to find out if iTunes and AOL are right that Fine Line Is about 'questioning concepts of gender and sexuality' but wow the fact that they're reporting that is A LOT. These times y'all, BLESSED!! Anyway in news we know is real and true, he's playing the Capital Jingle Bell Ball! Dec 7! Liam is on that show! Omg. Harry also liked a tweet about making Christmas gayer (making notes for Fine Line marketing catchphrases perhaps.)

And speaking of blessed times we got pictures of Louis playing footie with children AND posing with a stuffed bear omg (a bizarre lack of RBB manips so far though what's up with that?) He visited a youth mentorship program as part of the Children In Need stuff and "stay[ed] for the whole session playing football, coaching and chatting." Also: autocorrect video! It's just as good as you might have hoped! He's spared the actual first google results (more blessings thank you Wired) and fed nice innocent easy questions, lovely. The closest to actual dirt is 'who is Miss You about' which he completely dodges like just full on does not answer. Also today, the blinding deadpan sarcasm of "I’ve never got this question before" about superpower of choice and he says if he had to listen to one of his songs forever it would be Walls and that his favorite lyric on the album is "nothing wakes you up like waking up alone" from Walls. It looks like shooting was happening today for another MV in the series, he took a video with a fan (probably on set, he's whispering) and Habit and Always You have been registered.

Liam (and/or his team) for better or worse seemed to decide today was a day for responding to fan chatter. Liam replied to a thread raising questions about Maya's age to deny the allegations and say "don't believe everything you read on the internet" (well we really don't that's part of the trouble) and posted some pics from the Hugo campaign with a caption thanking the team for "making my first entry into the world of underwear shoots so comfortable and easy... thanks for taking care of me to help me push boundaries and making me at ease with everything we shot." If this blatant damage control means he's seeing the concern out here, I hope he is also feeling the love behind it. We also got a countdown clock to LP1 on his insta and some clips from the coming TV special- it's Liam being interviewed on a moving freight train like truly. How fucking weird. He posted a selfie titled "when your life's surreal 24/7" and YEAH. But- the new clips include Liam talking about having had suicidal thoughts which isn't funny at all and god. I just want things to be better for him. Sending you all our love Lima, truly.

Niall tour tickets went on sale today and due to today's early selection being mostly platinum seats there was again distress about pricing. Standard seat sales open tomorrow though so hopefully everyone will be able to get what they want. He talks about his love of Bruce Springsteen in more detail than usual, talking about how he (Bruce) writes songs about things he hasn't lived and that Niall finds that inspiring, and about making songs for people to dance to. And he's interviewed by Patrice Evra! Random but exciting, and Niall being actually excited about the interviewer gives it a relaxed and interesting vibe.

R3HAB is enjoying the attention around the Zayn collab and says it will be out "asap" and there will be a teaser "very soon."

#Zayn #Harry #Liam #Niall #Louis #flames #r3hab #6 Nov 19 #children in need #wired autocorrect #hey Harry #*****#ntmy tour #patrice evra #ant middleton #tw suicide #laya #stunts #fine line #jingle ball #in case i haven't said this recently enough no one is EVER invited to post anything from this blog to twitter #it is not okay with me #do not do it #nothing happened in just thinking a lot about how much i prefer some fan conversations to stay here and not in that sphere #i write these for you guys #and for my own entertainment but although i sometimes say things like to Liam directly like today for example #i am KIDDING they are not actually meant for them or their teams #they can see them if they come looking but that's different than throwing them at them #ps as long as I'm blabbing sorry these aren't very funny lately it's me. but i hope to be energetic and fun again someday! 🤞🏼#feel free to send healing woo for my sick ass and maybe it'll restore my zip and sense of humor who knows

156 notes · View notes

dolphin-enthusiast · 4 years

Note

hi there honeybun!! 💘✨🌼 how are you doing love?? i saw that you posted some hc today,, i thought they were very cute! 💕 you should know that when you do get those little bursts of inspiration, you truly do such amazing things darling!! burn-out really does feel awful, no? (1/9)

"well i should say that i saw the anon's dream... wow,, that sounds as if it came straight out of an action movie!!! (which happen to be my favorite genre alongside drama) honestly, i would wake up in a cold sweat too if i dreamt up something like that,, such high intensity warrants lots of emotion for me haha, not to mention that i am quite the skittish person myself (as morgy already knows by now 😅) by the way dear anon, if you do end up finishing the dream, i'd love to hear it hehehe (2/9)

dreams are a funny thing for me,, considering they are either night terrors, surreal/nonsensical, or intensely dramatic,, i don't think i've ever had a straight up pleasant dream before! i can also remember a lot of them, and i like to tell my friends about some of my craziest dreams!! oh, and a little fun tidbit is that i can dream in both color and black/white!! (3/9)

dreaming has always been such a fascinating concept to me, there have been days with my friends where all i'll do is talk about dreams with people,, it's pretty relaxing, especially if the dreams you discuss are nightmares!! it's nice to get such things out of your system after all! 💭 (4/9)

mamma mia,, sorry for the ramble, it annoys most people after a while,, i have a tendency to talk about certain things for a while 😖 well, today consisted of mostly sewing for me, both by hand and with a machine... needless to say my fingers are bruised up now 😂 i bruise pretty easily, so it's normal i guess,, (5/9)

and i have some people now asking me to make them stuff!! i'd love to but with a lack of motivation and being in a rough spot lately, i don't think i have the capacity for that hehe, maybe some time in the future!! (6/9)

waifu bro was able to show me more of the movie script!! the movie is actually based on his personal interpretation of the song hotel california by the eagles,, it's one of our all-time favorites!! he might actually have me cover the song for him soon!! he said it would mostly receive a mature rating since it is very dark in subject matter, but if he actually ends up producing it, i bet i would be old enough to see it when it releases!! (7/9)

and oh my, a whole year of singing lessons,, i bet you sound amazing dear!! my family could never afford that sort of stuff, so naturally i just sing along to songs casually hehe,, i bet you would've made for an amazing singer amore 💖💖 (8/9)

oh dio, it's now 0:50!! time flies fast when i'm doing the things i love 😊 then that's it for tonight i suppose! buonanotte e sogni d'oro, dolcezza ☀💓 - always with love, waifu xoxo 😍😳😘❤💗💓💕💖💞💘💌💋 ps: if the film ends up being produced in the future, will you go see it with me? 🥺👉👈 (9/9)"

God love again you praise me way too much trust me im really not THAT good at singing esp since i havent attended the lessons bc of the current situation ever since march i think so im a lil rusty even tho i sing by myself many times around the house....if anything i'd say my voice sounds lowkey weird since im an alto and was told i had the deepest timbre out of the girls and it wouldnt be the first time anyway🤡✌️but nevertheless theres much to improve and it aint perfect dhshhzhz and the hcs i wrote were kinda minimal but im glad u liked them?? also watching the movie with you?? A B S O L U T E L Y

I love hotel california but then again its a classic its only natural 😳 again ur bro is a literal icon, his brain is gigantic and i'd pay to watch that shit anyday fam esp if its with u👁️

And dont apologize for rambling since dreams do happen to fascinate me as well... as a matter of fact i just woke up from a very cursed one thats gonna get me hella clowned by one of my mutuals a h a h a but i fully understand ur experiences since i myself usually just dream of nonsensical bits that i dont even remember or its just straight up nightmares🤡🤡🤡🤡 the only exception being that 1 week ago i think i had a surprisingly nice dream that consisted of me achieving some goals which was VERY unexpected considering all i dream of are wacky things so that was nice for once ig hssjdjd

And do b careful w the bruising stuff i cant imagine how hard it must be to embroider like that...my short tempered dumbass would b like i g h t m b o u t t a h e a d o u t in less than a second-

#also u never had lessons? further proof that ur a goddess #ur voice puts za angels to shame darlin😩😩#the confessional

3 notes · View notes

geminimoonbeamx · 5 years

Text

Home, Again: Chapter One

A/N: Soooo, if you know me at all you know that thick Bucky is my religion and I love him with all of my heart. These new pictures of Sebastian on the set of ‘Devil All The Time’ have got me twisted. Literally I’ve been fawning over them for days. That man is too much for me and my libido and this is the product of that.

Word Count: 2k+

Rating: This particular chapter is pretty mild, lots of cursing mostly- the next chapter, and the ones to come after that will be extremely explicit though so get your bodies ready.

Summary: Moving back home was never in her itinerary, but after the loss of a family member and being fired from her job, she finds herself back in the town she grew up in and face to face with the man who’d haunted her teenage wet dreams. Now in her early twenties, maybe she can do something to make those dreams a reality.

A Plus Size Reader x Dad!Cop!Thick!Bucky Barnes story

It’s a surreal moment for you- waking up in your old room. The one that you’d grown up in, that you hadn't spent more than a couple nights at a time in- in the last six years.

Like some weird, out of body experience. Looking at the ceiling through blurry, sleep bogged eyes, with the sun shining clear and bright through the curtains fills your stomach with nostalgia that makes you feel like you might barf.

You sit up, trudge to the bathroom, half feeling like you’re about to get ready for school or something- about to but on your Volleyball uniform or something.

While you're brushing your teeth you can't manage to drag your eyes away from your reflection. The bags under your eyes, that are ever present, seem to be deeper. Probably from all the moving you’d done in the past couple of days.

Picking up your entire life, and moving it from Brooklyn all the way back to Springs Port had not been easy.

Luckily your friends had been game for the three hour drive, and the little bit of heavy lifting(Pietro and Quill we’re life savers) when it came to your bed and room furniture. You’d sold your couches and tables. You didn't have your own place anymore, didn't know when you would again and since you we’re currently unemployed, you could use all of the extra cash that you could get.

That was you:

Living back at home. Job less. And broke- because you used that almost all of that furniture money to rent the U-Haul.

In that moment, with those harsh truths, you can't manage to look at your reflection anymore.

After taking a shower and getting ready- contouring and highlighting and concealing all of your self hate away, you do feel a bit better. It was a coping mechanism, yes. But You needed to be presentable anyways, you think.

You’re fine. You are fine, Y/N. Everything’s fine.

If you keep repeating it, and accept it as your reality, you’ll feel better, right?

You linger on that thought as you eat breakfast, which is a definite perk of being back home. Your grandmother stands near the stove- a pan hot and the kitchen full of the delectable smells of not only the omelets she was stirring up, but the crock pot that had who knows what already brewing.

Also, the ever present, and pungent herby smell of marijuana that followed her ever since her accident undercurrents that.

It sure beat the instant oatmeal you used to eat mornings back in the city.

“That smells so ridiculously good” You start as you slide onto one of the chairs at the kitchen bar “Also, good morning, Grams”

“Good morning, baby bird. You’re up early” She comments, as she gives you a knowing side eye “Or did you not sleep at all last night?”

There's honestly no use lying to her. She’d always had this sixth sense when it came to that- it had made your childhood a bitch.

“I slept. A little bit” you defend yourself, pouring yourself the cucumber orange juice she’d made. Sounds weird- is actually extremely refreshing. She likes to make weird concoctions with the fruits and vegetables she grows in her garden.

You get another one of those all knowing looks.

“Okay I didn't sleep as much as I could have, but I was just getting everything else unpacked. I’m finally done” you punctuate with an innocent shrug.

“You unpacked all those boxes? Y/N Y/M/N, there was about twenty of them. You’re not supposed to get unpacked in 24 hours, you need to give yourself time to process this change in your life. I really thought that indica was going to help. You should’a been knocked on your ass” She tells you as she plates up your food and sets it in front of you.

You thank her, and bite your tongue about the whole “processing” thing. She’d been all about that lately- since Grandma Vee died a few months ago and she’d started her group therapies; she’d become some kind of self made, self help guru.

You figure it’s better that then her falling apart.

You’re all kind of waiting for her to fall apart.

“I was thinking i’d go into town and job hunt today” You bring up the topic softly, both of you most of the way through your spinach, bacon, mushroom and goat cheese omelet.

She tutts at you, of course she does.

“I invited you to come back and live with me, I’m not expecting you to pay for anything, you know that” You love the way she words it. You wonder if she really thinks of it that way, that you’re here for her benefit and not the other way around.

“Grams, I get that I really do. But I have like fifteen bucks to my name right now. Even if it’s just something part time, I need to work” You tell her, in complete seriousness.

You’d had a job, steadily, since you were fourteen years old and the broke bitch life wasn’t for you.

She fussed, tells you that you that she is very capable of helping you with whatever you need. Promptly informs you that Grandma Vee’s life insurance will hold both of you down for a long while.

You don’t get how she can talk about her death so easily. Calm and level headed. It’s still that iron hot pain that comes from losing a loved one that burns for you. You’d felt it before and yet it didn’t dull one bit this time around.

“Yeah, that’s gonna be a fuck no from me. You have to use that money for you, grams. You know she’d want you to” is your blunt reply and she chuckles and throws her napkin at you as you stand.

“You watch your language in my fucking house, girl. You’ve always had such a bad potty mouth”

It’s inherited, you don’t tell her.

With a few more words of dissuasion from her and a kiss on the head and the reassurance that you’d still help her with her garden, even if you were working from you, you grab your keys and walk out into the already hot, New Jersey air.

It’s summer, mid June and Spring Port is and has always been a resort town. Sea side and picturesque- people flood in during the summer season.

It doesn’t surprise you that the towns square is currently a tourist trap and that parking is hard as shit to find. No matter, you find a space eventually.

Your turquoise Jeep Wrangler is the same one you’d driven before college, that you hadn't taken to the city with you. It has some issues sometimes- the starters a little finicky and has to be worked on every six months or so, but it honestly still runs like a charm. Can get you from A to B just fine now, and you guess it is way better than subways and busses.

You end up walking around the entire towns square, and you’re glad you’d gone with slides instead of wedges. Everyone seems to be hiring, tourist season and all. And in the end you fill out four applications- handwritten at that which you think is a little funny.

It’s not that Springs Port is tiny really- with a population of 12, 000, there are definitely smaller places. Towns square is actually pretty decently sized- about twenty five or so tiny stores and restaurants scattered along main street. There’s a theater. Three gas stations. You guys don't have a Walmart in the towns perimeters technically- but there's one just a few miles away. And everything's waterfront, the docs a skip away. The Atlantic a continual backdrop.

Compared to New York though, it’s a blip on the map,. It feels smaller to you now that you’ve lived in the big wide world.

You’re walking down the cross of Harbor and Main- on your way to Goodies- which you hear Angie now owns, to meet Wanda and B for lunch when your feet get stuck where you are.

Frozen on the spot.

As you look at the flower shop, that’s overflowing with greenery across the street.

Infinity Flowers-

You can't help the draw to the store. Your feet seem to have a mind of their own- and you end up inside before you can really think of it.

Hell, it smells just like it used to. You haven't stepped foot in here since…

It’s pretty busy in the shop- it always was though. Best flower arrangements in the whole Garden state was it’s slogan, and it only exaggerated a little.

“I’ll be with you in one sec- Oh! Y/N” The bleach blond head that belongs to none other then Mantis bobs as she comes over and envelops you in a tight hug “I heard you we’re back in town! I was wondering when you we’re going to come in. I haven't seen you in so, so long”

She says all of this without letting you go and you chuckle and endure it because this was Mantis. Always such a hugger.

“Yeah, I was just job hunting in town and I thought I’d stop by”

“So you’re back for good then, yes?” She asks, after letting you go. Going to greet another customer warmly, while still managing to small talk to you. She’d always been good at making people feel at ease.

You tell her not really, just for the moment, as you fix the hydrangeas in the window display. They have them all wrong-

“Those we’re always her favorite” Mantis tells you what you already know and you nod and swallow the bit of sadness that bubbles up.

This. Is why you tend to stay away from this store. Thoughts of your late mother assault your psyche here, always- but also...you can't help but feel like you’re supposed to be here. Some of your happiest childhood memories we’re in this shop, surrounded by flowers. You can recall the sound of your mother’s laughter best here…

You leave the shop, after you’ve filled out an application.

You don't know why you did it but-

“I’m pretty sure I just got a job at Infinity Flowers” You inform Wanda and B, who are already sat at a booth in the little pub waiting for you when you get there. Sharon couldn't get a break from the station to come, but you couldn't hate her for it. She was just living her dream.

“Really?” Wanda asks, attempting to choose her words wisely “That's- I would never expect for that to be where you’d decide to work”

“What she means; is do you think that’s a good idea? There’s ghosts for you in there girly” B, Brunhilde(she’d kill anyone who used her full name though) has always been the bolder one in your group of friends. And that would never change.

“Mmm, I don't know what I think. Wanna day drink about it?” You suggest with a shrug as you go to wave down a waitress. One of their house made hard lemonades we’re sounding real good right now…

“Bitch, some of us have to go back to work” Wanda argues while B excitedly agrees, telling you that she’s already started.

Two and a half house lemonades later you are sufficiently buzzed and feeling better. Wanda has to get back to work at the antiques gift shop though, you you leave Angie a hefty tip(or rather your employed friends do) and head out.

It’s hot as hell, honestly and you think you might go sit on the beach for a while until you sober up enough to drive- you’re telling your friends that when you see a patrol car roll up to the bakery on the corner.

Out of the driver's seat exits one Bucky Barnes. AKA your teenage wet dream.

And holy god, does he look good. He’s flanked by a tall dark skinned man who you don't recognize, but who is also pretty damn fine.

You know you’re ogling, and your friends are laughing at you and taunting you, but in that moment you really don't care.

“Hot damn, he is still so fine, oh my god” You groan and Wanda chuckles as she lights up a cigarette.

“Yeah? The dad bod doing it for you?” She questions on an exhale of smoke.

“Totally. Is it possible that he got even more attractive? Like? How? And why did Sharon not tell me about this” You try to pull your eyes away from him, you really do.

But you’re a little drunk and the feelings you’d harbored for the older man come trickling back. Yeah, he’s gained some weight. Is broader- his shoulders big. His whole frame hulking. But he still has that swoon worthy dark hair, and that jawline you could see even from here. You wonder if his eyes we’re still that stormy blue color that you’d spent literal years dreaming about...You desperately wish you could go up and take a closer look.

“He’s really been hitting those doughnuts since the divorce, huh?” B snarks and you turn a cold glare at her.

“Don't body shame him. That’s disgusting” You snap and she holds up a hand.

“Jesus, you know I’m just kidding. I forgot how fucking touchy you are about him” She defends herself and you try not to go on a rant about how talking about anyone's body, male female or anyone in between.

You end up doing it anyway and the whole time Wanda grins and tells you how much she’s missed you, and B tells you how much of a sensitive cunt you are.

All in all, it’s good to be home. Even if you are a total failure of a human being at the moment, your brain can't help but tac on to the end. As you watch the police cruiser pull out of the parking lot, and think about the man that sits inside- you think about the fact that you aren't sixteen anymore. And he’s not married...

And in that moment- you realize just how good it is to be home.

And there it is. If you'd like to be tagged in future chapters, please let me know! I’m thinking, and have this planned out to be about five chapters. Just a sexy, juicy, emotional quick read. Some Angst ridden smut coming your way!

Also- I appreciate reviews and reblogs more than you could imagine. They are literally fuel for me- so if you can spare some time to give me your opinion, I’d love you forever!

@gifsbysimplysonia @peacefulwriter88 @prettybubblesintheair @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @lostinspace33 @4theluvofall @plumfondler @tatathekissypotato @jaamesbbarnes @jalapenobarnes @siren-kitten-his @brieannakeogh @skishenanigans @paulxrudd

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x plus size reader #Plus size reader #thick bucky #dad bucky #cop bucky #marvel au #cop #marvel #wanda maximoff #brunhilde

162 notes · View notes

familyvisionis2020 · 4 years

Text

Day 6 - The Drive Home

Today was the last day of tour. I wake up in the morning feeling guilty because I have a groggy memory of waking up around 8 to go to the bathroom, Paul was waiting to go, but when the person came out I just fronted him (a word I just now remember from elementary school, cut in line, but southern), used the bathroom and went back to bed. Rude. I am wiping the cold from my eye, taking in the undecorated walls of the apartment, and Jeremy comes from down the hall and says ‘Did you get the memo? Louisville cancelled. Tour’s over.” I said ‘fuck’ and processed it. I feel sad for Jeremy and John and Kabir because I know they wanted to play this last show in Kentucky. It’s not that I didn’t, but also for the last three months and for especially the last month I have been feeling a tremendous amount of anxiety about this tour, about feeling out-of-control, about being away from loved ones at home, about being available to show up for people in my life, about completing regular routines of hygiene and spirituality and task completion that make me feel boring and comfortable, both. Touring stirs up dredges of the tea leaves that I had let settle into a fine filmy sediment at the bottom of me. I manufactured a jello mold two years ago and poured myself into it: regular 9-5 in the legal field as a means and precursor to law school, then diligent study for 3 years, then a professional career, abandoning the party life, abandoning trespassing in abandoned buildings, abondoning the luxury of resentment and unproductive time, trying to cool and firm into something reliable, serviceable, dependable, available, a resource people could draw from for once, rather than a leech or slug. And when I go on tour I take that jello mold out of the fridge and it holds its shape but also it warms and the longer I’m out the more liquidy it gets and sloshes over the sides and so forth. So I’m ambivalent because I like what I have to offer to this band, I like the physical process of drumming and expressing myself in the context of music and being a member of a band, but also I feel like I’ve kind of chilled enough and it’s time to settle down. And I’m at a way different point in my life than the other guys in the band it seems like, for the most part. So anyways all this to contextualize the fact that the news of tour ending even earlier than early honestly makes me feel relieved, if not happy, and so then I work to temper that boosted mood for the sake of grim decorum befitting a tour taken before its time.

All our stuff is locked in the venue from last night and we learn we won’t be able to pick it up until 1pm and so we have about 4 hours to kill in the apartment. Phillip puts on a pot of coffee that will turn out to be some of the wateriest on record, but still, a super kind gesture, and then he also puts on The Wire on HBO Go and we just settle in on the couch and watch for awhile. Some of the scenes are familiar, there’s something seductive about this show, and it brings me back to the precise moment of Summer of 2013 right before I moved to Philadelphia right after I got evicted from the squat/music venue I had been living in that winter and spring, I watched all episodes of The Wire on DVD on Matt Martin’s couch at 3 Pomroy and felt deeply depressed. It ranks up there with when I watched all released episodes of The Office in bed in the winter of 2009 after my girlfriend broke up with me, in terms of memorably devestating life phases offset by the amniotic fluid of full-series of TV. So we watch The Wire and I find myself not too inclined to sit and watch and I want to write so I sit at my laptop on the table nearby and write an email to a female (sorry) but I actually do and its purpose is to make her smile and bring some levity and play and purple prose to a moment in her life that, from how she tells it to me, is just so heavy, nightmares and waking horror and a future that feels like it hangs by a thread. so I’m glad to spend time showing up for her in this small way rather than watching The Wire, and also I write yesterday’s blog post, another activity that feels sort of like a pittance but also like: doing-writing is something I have been putting off, in phases and seasons, for my entire adult life, because to me nothing ever matters enough to write about, or if it does my perspective is deficient, or my research inadequate, or my skill incommensurate with the subject matter, or it won’t properly reflect my feelings, or any number of self-sabotaging excuses to not do this thing I so love doing, and love sharing. So for me, writing this blog is a very meaningful and special act of reclamation of a personal mode of expression that constitutes a break in my winter’s depression and what feels like a new phase of happiness, of believing-i-have-a-future, of feeling more authoratative and qualified to know and describe my own experience in a lifetime marred and dampened by dissociation, oblivion, amnesia, and fugue. So it feels like nourishment to get some paragraphs done and to move slow through my days, get them onto the page.

The Wire grows tiresome at some point and Jeremy fires up the PS4 and then the PS3 looking for games but none are multiplayer and so eventually he settles on Skyrim and starts from a new file. Me personally I love watching let’s plays and this is as good as TV. There was a moment last tour when we were in this strange small town in Connecticut called Torrington (the town all touring bands are required to go to, we also joked), in this town Jeremy was describing the sort of surrealness he experienced there and he said he felt like the townspeople in Torrington were like NPCs in a FPS RPG like Skyrim wherein you would go up to people and press A to talk, say ‘What news?” and that I thought was really funny then, I like his sense of humor. Really Kabir and Jeremy and Royal represent this sort of humor that is to me equal parts razor wit, cleverness, timing, accents, absurdity, and broad conceptual placticity, all for the most part very clean too, never or at least rarely blue (you’re gonna inevitably make a D’s nuts joke and that’s just that). And during happy times I am so grateful to be nearby this humor and during less happy times I get self conscious about how great their humor is and how I sometimes feel like I don’t measure up. But that feeling doesn’t weigh for long. Skyrim is fun to watch, it kills some time, we all take turns trying to kill wolves with swords before Jeremy finally does it, there’s a dragon, we loot corpses, discuss Bloodborne and Dark Souls and comparable games. A lot of the main media activity in this group is discussing how a given media relates to another media, Kabir and Jeremy and John know it seems like everything between the three of them when it comes to record labels, band narratives, artist’s hometowns, etc. So we play Skyrim for awhile, and then eventually it’s time to go to the venue and we drive back to The Salty Nut, load in all our gear, do a final sweep, and say our goodbyes and thankyous to Phillip. We return to the Bandido place one last time for one last round of free local Taco Bell which we absolutely scarf and are very vocally grateful to the people for giving it to us for free again, it’s clear they really put effort into being hospitable to touring bands here, at least through Phillip. His band, Thomas Function, was signed on Fat Possum Records, which also had bigger indie acts like Jay Reatard (who Phillip tells a story about him demanding $50,000 in cash for a show fee to feed his coke and heroin habit, Reatard died at age 29 from cocaine toxicity with alcohol also), The Black Keys, Andrew Bird, Wavves and Soccer Mommy, but which Kabir postulates has most of its success due to having signed octogenarian southern blues legends like R.L. Burnside and King Ernest and raking in royalties from what Kabir speculates is due to poor management of the estates of these dead leagends who each had more than a dozen children. It’s truly fascinating for me to hear how deep and complex the analysis of music these guys have is. When I feel insecure, which is often, I tend to veneer these sorts of expertises and shibboleths among music-heads as snobby, elitist, exclusionary, petty and asinine. But I think most of that comes from a fear that I lack the insight, cognitive absorbency, and passionate research skills to collate and catalog data about artists in the way these people do, the way my bandmates do. I feel inspired to take time to dig deeper into the musicans I love, to make them real to me, to get a sense of their story, their lived experience, for the sake of corroding the mediation between us somewhat, or at least polishing the media membrane.

I volunteer to drive for the first half of what will end up being about a 10-hour drive back from Huntsville to Chapel Hill. We go to a Whole Foods in Huntsville upon Kabir’s insistence where I purchase a nootropic snakeoil energy affair in beverage form, Kabir gets hot coffee and a La Colombe Draft can of latte, Jeremy gets a kombucha made from yerba mate (“best of both worlds” he says), John black coffee as per, and Kabir also buys a slice of Tres Leches cake in a clear plastic to-go clamshell: “they can take away my tour, but they can’t take away my tres leches.” Later he’s eating it in the van and he accidentally spills some on himself and he says “shit…spilled some on myself. oh good, it was only one leche” which to me is so funny and perfect humor and just like kind of a paragon of the kind of joke I so treasure from this friend group. Another is when Jeremy and Kabir are recalling a favorite running joke from two tours ago, wherein they were in Philly, home to the famous Schuykill River (pronounced skoo-kill, at least when i lived there, at least around the non-indigenous people i knew), and while there they would affect this blaring Brooklyn accent, deployed heavily on this trip as well for basically any purpose, but back then they would say “UGH MY SKOYKL IS KILLING ME” like Schuykill was lombago or sciatica and also would say “YEAH LET ME GET A KWATA POUND OF SKOYKL ON RYE” like it was a deli meat, and they laughed and laughed. Also they liked doing rhyming jokes like last night there was a chair nearby the combo amp Tired Frontier was going to use for their set and Kabir goes ‘amp on the chair, tone everywhere’ and then I say ‘amp on the ground, makes a bad sound’ and then I tell Jeremy later how Kabir would put me in good spirits whenever I was describing to someone how my LSAT score is very competitive but my checkered past makes the acceptance process a little less than straightforward, and Kabir would see I was getting kinda down and anxious, and he would say ‘You gotta break the law before you make the law,’ and we all laugh and I love that, the function of humor as balm, salve. I want to wield my humor like that.

The drive back is fine, some sprinkles, nothing major, clear traffic for the most part, I feel like I have a good command of the van, keep it around 75 for most of the trip, feel smoth and confident switching lanes, passing, etc. We do another two NYT Wednesday classic crosswords together, Kabir is getting probably 40% of the clues, me maybe 30% Jeremy and John the other 30%, Kabir will just to YEAHHHHHHHH after getting a clue and I start doing that too after Jeremy says “X down, ‘on the table’ 15 letters,” and I say UPFORDISCUSSION after only a couple seconds and it fits and is correct and I feel like a damn genius and we’re all laughing and kind of praising each other half-jokingly for being strong beautiful geniuses who also we know songs. This is a great passtime and the drive flies by and before I know it we’re in Western NC just outside of Asheville and we make a stop to refuel the tank and get dinner. We decide on a Waffle House across the street, not wanting to venture too deep into Asheville for something healthier and better because of the time and money it would likely eat up, Kabir says that FEMA uses the closing of Waffle Houses as a bellweather to indicate the severity of a given natural disaster. We go inside, the waitress says ‘ya’ll aren’t from around here are you?’ in a way that I take to be hostile and I suggest that to the guys and they seem like maybe slightly offput but not very much and we decide not to abort and I later feel foolish because I think I am doing this thing where I become excessively vigilant or sensitive to a perceived slight to a friend who is brown for the putative purpose of interceding on their behalf against racism but what’s actually happening is if someone was racist to them they could just stand up for themselves and make their own call regarding their own comfort or lack thereof and I would do better to act less motivated by white guilt when avoidable. That passes, it’s fine, we eat hash browns and waffles and eggs and grits and toast and cover everything in tobasco and tip well and get back on the road, John takes over for the final stretch.

I return a call from Marty and catch him up about tour being cancelled and we discuss our fears and hysteria and cancellations and reaction and so forth. Marty remarks that he is a gravedigger during the plague, which is the best possible job to have. It’s not a joke because he actually drives a backhoe working for a cemetary and digs actual graves, super weird and eminently punk/goth and kind of a curiosity but really perfect for the lead singer of one of the South’s premiere punk bands, especially after his being fired from the swish cafe he worked at in Richmond before that. I love Marty and catching up and it feels good to hear his voice. After I get off the phone it sort of becomes campfire spooky story time in the van with everyone proffering their take on the panic, market failure, the likelihood of Capitalism as a superstructure to require perpetual growth even at the peril or death of its working class, the superior response to covid that South Korea and Norway seem to have mounted, a lot of fear of financial insecurity. Eventually this digresses to talk of touring, and the guys discuss all manner of various routes throught the South, Midwest, Northeast, plains states, PNW, Mexico City, Jeremy says ‘I can get us a show in Colombia’ which he can, Argentina or Venezuela through a mutual friend, then Europe so long as the label foots the bill for the plane ticket, then Japan, setting up camp on Honshu would make it easy to hit TOkyo, Kyoto, Osaka and Nagoya no problem, except where exactly are people playing shows? there’s gotta be somewhere all these Japanese Noise and Hardcore bands are getting gigs, and then from there of course it’s not hard to get to Australia, John knows a band there, and they go all around the world and this is stressing me out a little bit, only because I wonder about how much they think I would be involved or want to go on such a theoretical tour, and the answer is I don’t 100% know. Part of me wants to say this is my last tour, lean all the way in to law school and leave behind this chapter. Part of me feels like it’s better not to make a hard and fast statement like that because what if the economy collapses and for some reason school is a no-go but being in the band becomes the most plausible source of income or something. I get anxious and psych myself out and quiet down and feel foolish and wish to be home. I fantasize about my future life of stability, but I second guess myself because I just don’t know for sure how my life will be, and want to be careful to work toward the goals I think will be the most fulfilling, self-actualizing, spiritually nourishing, healthy for me; I also want to not forsake the friendships and bonds I’ve forged in these weird intimate moments in the van with the guys. I have the wherewithal to know that nobody is requiring me to make a decision right this second, and that as time passes it’s likely that the best course of action will be revealed one way or another if I can keep from panicking. So I watch videos of the 2019 Classic Tetris World Championships on my phone, eat two candy bars, watch videos of a streamer named Wumbotize play the latest Tetris game, Tetris Effect (2018, PS4, PC), and am pleasantly awed by how crazily far the skill curve of that game has shot up. I have some time ahead of me that is completely free, which is so nice. Before I know it I’m back home in my clean apartment which is tidy like a tetris field at the beginning of a new game and I get into my bed and lay down flat and if my bed is the well than the line of me clears and the well is clean, smooth, primed, for whatever falls tomorrow.

1 note · View note

ericahitshawaii · 4 years

Text

Mantas and dolphins and whales, oh my!

Today I start my adventure on the big island! The Big Island is probably most known for its active volcanoes and the recent eruption of Mount Kiluaea in 2018. Because of the tectonic plates on earth, the Hawaiian island are actually moving Northwest over over a “hot spot” of volcanic activity. Over 5 million years ago this hot spot formed the oldest of the Hawaiian islands, Kauai (at the north of the chain). As the islands shift north, the volcanic activity slows and eventually stops and the surface begins to erode, which is why Kauai is smaller than the southern most island. The Big Island, which is the most “southernly” island, is the youngest (One million years old) and the most volcanically active, due to its proximity to the hot spot. Currently, another Hawaiian island is formed under the Pacific called Loini and if any of us live to be 10,000, we might be able to visit it.

I flew into Kona on Wednesday evening. I am in love with the Kona airport. If I thought the Kahului airport was “open air” then this airport is basically outside. It is completely open air, with some roofage. So amazing.

Kona Airport (KOA)

I very excitingly went to pick up my rental car, so no more bus adventures for me. I forgot how luxurioius and freeing it is have a car. I never did it in Australia because I was scared t drive on the wrong side, but not a problem here. It’s also such a life upgrade to have a car that DOES NOT have a tape player. Modern technology is awesome. Thanks Kia Rio!

Ok, anyway, I checked into my hostel, aptly names “My Hawaii Hostel.” If I thought the last one was halfway decent, then I will need to severely downgrade it compared to this one. This hostel had furniture other than a bed, decorations on the walls, a rug and multiple pillows and blankets. I know that sounds like a given in a hotel room, but not in a hostel. Absolutely dreamy! The hostel itself is absolutely charming with a little garden and an open aiir living room and lots of outdoor seating, just a few minutes walk from the beach. I am living my best Hawaiian life, for real this time!

My Hawaii Hostel, Ali’i Road, Kona

Patio area outside my room.

My room.

Thursday morning I headed off for the next phase of the ocean part of my trip. I signed up for a morning “Ocean encounters” tour and a Night “Manta Ray Swim” trip.

Note: You are going to be disappointed again by the lack of photos, because I bought an underwater disposable camera for the trip, but some of you may remember, that you have to get those photos developed. (I actually am unsure of how I’m going to do that in this modern age, but that is a future me problem. Anyway, the tour company promises to post some photos in the next few days, so there will be another update post once I have those. But keep reading, it still is exciting and there is a sweet video I took that you should see!)

The morning snorkeling tour started out with swimming with spinner dolphins!! So, wild dolphins are the best. They are nocturnal, so we were visitng them during their daytime nap time. Hilariously, while they are sleeping they still swim on the bottom in a big pack. I have no idea how they do this. How fascinating. Anyway a few of them woke up and swam up ot the surface to say hi. When we got into the water they headed down towards the bottom again. It was amazing to snorkel right above big pods of dolphins. There must have been at least 20 in some of the bigger pods and there were several pods around us. Just as a few more of them were waking up and coming to the surface, our captain said we had to go. I’ll be honest, I was pissed. I had dreams of high-fiving a dolphin and Captain Taylor was ruining my dream. But I’m glad he did,because what happened next was SOOO worth it!

Next we headed out to a site where whales had recently been spotted. When we arrived, we discovered there were several large whales around and a BABY WHALE. This whale was only about a month old and still absolutely gigantic. The baby whale was splashing around in the water very close to us. Just like a human toddler, it seemed to be having a blast splashing aorund, trying to breach (jump out of the water) and stick its head up. It was still really floppy and uncoordinated in the water, which was absolutely adorable. It was so funny to see a whale just playing around. I don’t know how it had so much energy to do all that.

Eventually we saw the mam whale pop up around the whale, apparently keeping her eye on it and maybe helping from below with its practice breaches. While we were distracted by the baby whale someone yelled out that there was another whale further off that was breaching. (Whales often will breach several time in a row, because they are communicating with other whales and trying to get their attention.) I looked over just in time to see a huge whale breach completely out of the water. It was one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen. It was like it was happening in slow motion. It’s entire body was up in the air and it seemed like it just hung there until it crashed back into the ocean with a huge splash. Just like on Animal Planet! I thought I had really seen it all until we looked back over at the playing baby whale and realized Mama had surfaced on our side.

All of s sudden I see her huge humpback surface like it is facing us. It is coming right for our boat. Right in fron of us, she lifts her tail and dives right under the boat. I was both incredible and a little scary! Seeing her SO CLOSE to us, it is astonishing how huge they are. Just her back was probably as tall as the deck of the boat and she was easily twice as long. It was shocking to see her giant tail come out of the water right in front of us. Despite my fear that she miht capsize the boat, the crew said that they are insanely spatially aware and can get within inches of a boat and not hit it. They have sonar like bats. When I say this was a bucket list activity, I would almost say this was better than what I imagined being on my bucket list. Even the crew was freaking out and taking video and photos. They said that never happens. I will remember that moment for as long as I live. I do have a video of the encounter. Honestly, it doesn’t do it justice, but you can kind of see what I’m talking about. Watch here:

https://photos.app.goo.gl/QTA9JieqQdEWPfag6

Now as if that wasn’t enough, we went to a third spot to find Manta Rays. We made a quick pit stop at an amazing place along the coast known as the Grotto. It’s the outlet to the sea for a large series of lava tubes that run miles underneath the island. The waters were the most incredible aqua color and crystal clear.

The Grotto

To add to the incredible day, we ran into two huge manta rays (In case you are worried they are not sting rays...who killed the crocodile hunter. They are harmless plankton eaters. One of our guides said we found his favorite manta named Amanda Ray. She is the friendliest and has one bent fin. Both mantas were about 10 feet long. They can actually grow to have a to 15 foot wingspan. They are beautiful to watch. We hoppped in the water and snorkeled with them. They looked like they were flying on the bottom of the ocean, completely gracefully. This was preview for that evening.

After the snorkel adventure I decided to head to the beach. I’m not really a beach person, but figured I should do it once. I went to what they call a dark gray sand beach, which is half white sand and half black volcanic sand. How do gray and black sand beaches form? Well, when the hot lava hits the cool water it basically explodes and shatters like glass, spewing small particles of lava rock, which eventually breakdown into small pebbles and sand like particles. The beach was very rough, but beautiful. Its incredible to see the lava rock solidify in the form it was when it flowed into the ocean. Very surreal.

Lava rocks at Kahalu’u Beach

After lunch and beach chill, I headed back to the marina for the night manta swim. For this one, they take you out onto big boogie board looking things with lights. Here’s a photo I did not take, that demonstrates this:

The lights on the bottom of the board attract plankton, which then attracts other fish and manta rays. This was both an awesome and miserable experience. The weather up to this point had been absolutely perfect. *0m degrees and sunny everyday. However, storms had come in that night and it was cold and raining. The water was freezing, but the experience was still pretty great. One of the coolest things that I didn't expect was that the lights also drew in tones of fish. There were a bunch of fish that looked kind of like big sardines that swarmed around us in big schools, it was really interesting to be that close to so many fish. The highlight of the trip was that a big manta swam right next to me and did a backflip to eat the plankton right under the board. They have awesome white bellies and gills and huge gaping mouths. Its really otherworldly.

After the manta show we headed back to the boat for the long and extremely rocky trip back to the marina. I generally have a pretty good stomach for boat rides, but this was a rough one. I had taken Dramamine earlier, just in case, and still feeling like I might lose my lunch. It was close to a repeat of the Great Barrier Reef puke episode but disaster was avoided, thank goodness!

All in all, a dream of a day. I am officially hooked on snorkeling and boating, in general. Who knew I’d be such a water baby. I spent most of my life avoiding getting my hair wet.

Next stop: Farm tour day in Southern Kona.

1 note · View note