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lifewithdavefarts · 2 months
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DaveFarts - Episode 29 “Ripped Ripper” [Episode List] Dave’s gym is closed due to maintenance so he decides to do some working out at home. Lazy Tim doesn’t want to join him, but Dave knows how to make things more… interesting for his kinky bro.
POV: Tim
Ripped Ripper
Another lazy Sunday evening, a great reward after a busy week like the one both me and my friend/roommate Dave just had. I was in my bedroom minding my own business, reading stuff on my laptop, listening to some music: perfect pre-Monday night for a guy like me, now 30, too tired at the idea of doing something that demands a bit more commitment than, well, this. I even closed the window shutters this morning so the Sun couldn’t bother me with its very inappropriate life-bringing light.
Luckily, Dave is a fellow lazy man, so I know I have a good roommate when it comes to just chilling in silence, without even interacting, after a long week. I’ll ask if he wants pizza though, least I can do for not, well, not making up any plans for tonight.
“Babe, come here!”
Speak of the Devil.
I heard my bro from his room, next to my own. I know him, he probably didn’t even need me for anything important, as his voice had that tone he uses to mess with me (and our other buds) like the idiot prankster he sometimes can be.
“Here I come.” I replied, very maturely putting a lot of emphasis on that last word.
I… took my time to actually go on check on him, ‘cause I liked the song I was listening to. Once it was over, I managed to get up, almost tripping on my own sweatpants and slippers somehow.
I walked to his room, knocked a couple of times on the door, which was open, and looked at him with the most bored expression I could muster. 
“You rang?” 
Faint rock music was coming out of Dave’s smartphone on a desk while he was sitting on his bed. He was wearing a blue t-shirt, a pair of grey basketball shorts, and sneakers.
“Not interested.” I then said, walking back to my room.
I heard Dave laugh and then his own footsteps right behind me. He grabbed my left arm and pulled me back to his room. I didn’t fight back ‘cause I know I couldn’t; not because of Dave being strong or anything but because I knew he won’t leave me alone the whole evening.
“Not gonna let you dump me for the fourth time this week.” he said.
“I said I’m not interested.” I replied.
He let me go, sat again on his bed and looked up to me.
“No, you said you wanted to exercise.”
“…eventually!”
“You didn’t say ‘eventually’, you said ’next week’.” He got up and patted my shoulder. “Come on, give it a shot.”
I sighed, defeated, but I still wanted to slip my way out of that situation in a way or another.
“I already tried the gym with you once and I got bored pretty quickly.”
“Oh shut up, you stopped showing up because you were too busy crushing on that hot guy, so much so you got too afraid to work in with him.”
I looked at him with a puzzled look, pretending to have no idea of what was he talking about.
“Also I’m way hotter than him and I’m very offended by your poor taste.” he joked.
I rolled my eyes in response, even though, yeah, I do think Dave is quite hot, regardless of my kink obviously.
“Look.” I said. “I just don’t feel like it today, I hav-“
“I have to work tomorrow” he completed my sentence, also doing a very poor imitation of my voice. “So do I, man. It’s not even 4:00 PM. The Sun’s still up. Do you even look outside of your window sometimes?”
I literally shook my head in disbelief.
“Wait, what?”
I sincerely thought it was, like, almost dinner time. Maybe Dave’s got a point, after all.
“…maybe you’re right.”
I noticed a small exercise mat on the floor by Dave’s bed; I simply sat there, waiting for my friend’s instruction.
“Alright, lead me to a healthy life of wellness where I don’t trip on my own slippers.”
“Well you’re in the wrong place!” Dave excitedly said, in a bit of self-irony since he’s not super fit himself, but he’s better than me at this no doubt.
The room was big enough so the two of us could lie on the floor. He pretty much lied on his back next to me as a way to “guide” me through the first exercise, one I was actually familiar with: crunches.
“Should I do some warm-up first?” I asked.
“Yeah, you should have, but since you’re right here just… give it a shot. It’s not like you’re gonna die.” He placed his hands on the back of his own head, starting the exercise. “…I think.”
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Even though the fact that I’m into farts and that my friend right here constantly blasts me should be the most embarrassing thing about myself, my performance during this first, relatively easy exercise was definitely more painful to watch: I couldn’t even finish a set (around 20 crunches), while Dave was humiliating me. I struggled so much and felt pain in my chest for some reason; I was already sweating and panting.
Not even 5 minutes in and I already wanted to quit.
“Yeah.” I managed to say, lying on my back, as my bro kept crunchin’. “Not my cup of tea.”
“The hardest part is getting started.” he commented.
“Wow. Thanks Master.” I replied, sarcastically.
He stopped mid-crunch, and turned to me, looking me at funny.
“Tim, blasting you with my farts doesn’t make me your Master.” he said, with a mocking tone.
I instantly sat back up as if I woke up from a nightmare. 
“What the fuck.” I turned to him, as he resumed doing his crunches. “Where did that come from?!”
“It’s fine bro.” he kept teasing me. “You can keep calling me ‘Dave’ if that’s fine for you.” he laughed.
Hearing my straight friend just casually making references to my fart kink, let alone the fact that he constantly face-farts me, will always be wild to me, like a fever dream. And also insanely hot, dammit.
“Is this because I suck at doing crunches?” I asked, not very politely.
“No, it’s because you’re already giving up.” 
“It’s just…” I sighed. “That’s just my thing bro, sorry. But thanks for trying to help, really.”
I lied on my back again, defeated, as Dave kept exercising. I could sense my friend looking at me, probably with his usual smirk, completely unfazed by me moping around, exhausted.
“Well… maybe I can do something to make things a bit more interesting for your lazy ass.” I heard him say, finally breaking the silence.
A silence that soon became a distant memory as the sound of Dave’s sudden, loud fart shook the entire room, easily surpassing the faint rock music coming from his phone. I’m used to my bro’s blasts and trust me, they are almost always loud, but this one felt even stronger somehow. It was also, but that goes without saying, long, like 9 seconds long. 
As ridiculous as I may sound… I had to see it. 
I sat back up one more time so I could get a good view and I saw Dave still lying on his back, one leg up to ease the blast out. How the grey fabric of his basketball shorts could endure that stream of gas is a mystery to me. His eyes were closed: he had the facial expression of someone surprisingly struggling to keep that blast going, a sign that he was holding that gas in for a while, which is unusual ‘cause my friend usually can rip monstrously long and loud blast with relative low effort.
Whether the case… that was a very hot sight, the tent I pitched in my sweatpants being the undeniable proof.
As the fart kept going, Dave lifted his left leg even more, as if there was a recoil, making it even louder.
The fart lasted around 14 seconds and my friend let out a quick sigh of relief as he ripped one last toot out. That sounded (and looked) more exhausting than me trying to do crunches.
The teasing bastard winked at me, ‘cause he knows how to press all the right buttons of my fetish.
“You know what I’m capable of…” he said. “Now imagine my skills, like, powered up by protein shakes.” he laughed and let another loud, but shorter (around 3 seconds) toot out to prove it, not that he needed to, as his farting skills are always jaw-dropping.
Still, he’s a teasing bastard.
The scent of his ass polluting the room reached my nose and I coughed a bit for how rancid that was.
“Are you seriously… bribing me with farts?” that’s a sentence I just said, fuck my life.
“Maybe.” another quick toot followed. “Is it working?”
“I’m going to punch you.” 
“Can’t finish a set of crunches and he wants to punch me.” he laughed. “Pissing you off is so easy bro.”
“I’m not pissed off.” I wanted to clarify. “You… you’re just making me hard.”
Even though Dave knows about my kink and fully accepted me, I still have a hard time letting him know that his farting skills (and teasing, nonetheless) never fail to give me a massive boner.
Dave looked at me funny, faking a serious expression. Then let out another loud rip in response, around 4 seconds long. Why do I even worry…
“Of course.” I simply said, too embarrassed to even look at him though.
As usual, he didn’t care, and only found my awkwardness hilarious. Disgustingly hilarious.
“It’s fine… at least you tried.” he then said. “We’ll give it another shot tomorrow.” 
I turned to him, appreciating the encouraging words.
“Still.” he said, adjusting his position. “I’m still gonna need a spotter to count those.”
“Yeah.” I nodded, without thinking. “I can do that.”
He let out an evil cackle in response, with that smug, hot smirk drawn on his face.
“So, what are we counting? Pushups? Crunches? Stars?”
I remained seated on the floor as Dave stood up, easily towering over me. He looked down to me and I, silly me, realised too late where this was going, even though I should have known.
“Who said anything about pushups and crunches?”
My gassy friend turned around and, simply put, sat full weight on my head as if it was a stool, his very gentle way to force me to lie down, with yet another loud toot thrown into the mix for good measure, one that I could properly smell this time.
The protein shakes are a powerful fuel and the scent reminded me of rotten eggs, which made me cough again as I lied down, letting my bro’s ass crush me.
However, that didn’t happen, not as violently as I expected at least. Dave’s ass was actually hovering only inches from my face; he could easily simply sit on me and let his ass roar but for some reason he didn’t.
“One.” I heard Dave say.
A fart quickly followed, loud, high pitched and wet-ish. I had to close my eyes as I literally felt the rancid gas erupting on my face, the thin grey fabric of Dave’s basketball shorts being the only thing separating me from his raging anus.
After a couple of seconds, the fart ended, and my bro got back up, but he wasn’t done at all. He let me took some breaths of (relatively) fresh air, only to bend his knees again mere moments later.
He was squatting over my face, basically, his ass barely tickling the tip of my nose.
“Two.”
Yet another impressive fart, the stench adding up to what was left of the previous one. Things were already getting too exhausting even for my trained nostrils: this is why I should never leave my room again.
But as much as I could “hate” what was happening, as Dave’s ass roared all over my face, my boner only got harder. My bro is not the hottest man in the world but he is quite hot and having a guy like him blasting me so effortlessly, no strings attached, will never cease to amaze me. 
I was definitely enjoying the sound more than the smell however, which made me feel like I was drowning in a sewer.
“What the fuck did you put in that protein shake, man?!”
I managed to ask, my voice being almost nothing compared to the loudness of the fart Dave was still ripping all over me. However, he did hear me, as his ass “bounced” a bit over my nose, a sign that he was laughing like the jerk bully he sometimes can be.
After a total of 12 seconds I was greeted with newfound silence and my bro got up, but before I could do or say anything or, you know, breathe, he squatted again.
“Three.”
Another loud rip, this time shorter, about 4 seconds, but still extremely dangerous stench-wise. Also, those were getting wetter and wetter. The sweat dampening Dave’s asscrack through his grey shorts didn’t help at all and only made the fart wetter and the stench stronger.
My bro’s ass went silent and I quickly asked a simple question.
“How many squats are you planning to do exactly?”
Dave laughed in response, as usual. “You tell me, it’s leg day.”
The second part of his answer was him squatting again on my face, this time making sure to crush my skull. He then made sure to shove down my throat and nostrils another powerful, protein shake-powered blast.
A wet one, a fully wet one, but Dave was a pro, so I knew it was just very nasty gas. Still, a good challenge to test the limits of my already disgusting kink. The blast was so powerful it made droplets of sweat from his ass rain all over my face: whether Dave was sweating because of the squats or the endeavor of pushing such big farts out I shall never know.
What I did know, is that after 9 seconds, Dave got up again, and at this point I couldn’t even remember what pure oxygen tasted like as not only my face, but the entire room was now basically engulfed with gas.
Dave instead, towering over me, proudly took a deep breath, showing off his muscles (which wasn’t a lot, but he definitely looked ripped when compared to me) and then stared down at his victim.
“And you wanted to quit.” he stated.
I couldn’t even come up with a proper comeback because his ass was already in my mouth, hastily erupting yet another fart, one I could actually taste.
He kept squatting on my face, repeatedly, each time ripping a fart, a loud wet rip, each time sweating more and more. My friend was wearing a pair of grey basketballs shorts but all of that sweat made his asscrack completely visible, basically proving he went commando for some reason, which also meant that there was basically nothing between me and the sheer force of Dave’s anus.
My bro farted so many times in my face over the last months I couldn’t even count it, but things rarely got this… filthy.
I got my face soaked wet in sweat which wasn’t even mine, but rather from Dave’s ass, fart-scented and fart-flavoured sweat; kink or not, my limits were being tested here.
And apparently, Dave’s job is completely ignoring such limits.
For his 20th and final squat, he just completely sat on my face, spreading his legs wide, so my nose could easily fit in his sweaty, ripe asscrack. He wiggled his ass as if he was wiping the sweat off of it using my face, and then I felt him push.
Bubbles, that’s how I can describe it. That display of flatulence was as wet and disgusting as you imagine, a mix of gas and sweat engulfing my nose and nostrils, making my entire head shake, so rancid I could smell it without even breathing in. 
The fart was so thick I could taste it and my eyes were burning for all that gas.
I feared that Dave’s limit were also being tested here, given how wet that fart was; but no, it was just terrible, terrible air coming out from his sweaty ass.
After almost 20 seconds of torture, I was done.
The sewer comparison I made before was now in full effect: truth to be told, I couldn’t take it anymore, I was drowning, suffocating, and I wanted to get out of there, I needed air, like actual air, oxygen.
Mustering all the strength I have in what passes for “muscles” in my arms, I managed, not without struggle, to actually push Dave’s roaring ass away from my face, which actually surprised him as he tripped over.
I coughed my way to freedom and took deep long breaths. The air in the room was still filthy but it felt like pure fresh air compared to the source, the depths of my friend’s ass who, in the meantime, actually stopped farting. I remained there, lying down, wondering how I could even survive those blasts.
Despite being disgusted, pre-cum leaked from the tip of my hard cock, so I guess this wasn’t beyond my limits after all. 
As I kept trying to clean my nostrils by taking more deep breaths, I heard Dave, lying next to me just like before, slow clapping, as if he was some kind of villain of a heist movie being (falsely) impressed by the heroes.
I scolded him with an annoyed glare. “What the fuck are you doing now?”
“Not bad for a first day, huh?” he simply said, with a smirk. “You managed to lift me, that’s impressive.”
“Those were my survival instincts kicking in.” I remarked.
I lied down, exhausted, staring at the ceiling, Dave doing the same. I could once again hear the faint rock music coming from his phone on the desk: good, I was afraid today’s ass-thunders made me deaf.
“I wanna try again tomorrow.” I admitted. “No farts though.” I quickly added.
He laughed. “I’ll see what I can do.”
We remained silent for a few moments, as I tried to ignore the massive boner I still had.
“Look at us.” Dave said. “Covered in sweat, panting. It’s like we just had sex.” he joked.
“You wish.” I replied.
A few more moments of silence, a silence that Dave broke one last time by doing a deft leg-lift to rip a quick, loud, wet toot.
“Told ya it’s leg day.”
The End
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fanassfart · 24 days
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Leck
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griefxoxo · 20 days
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Roomates
Disclaimer: All characters are 19+. If you do not like this type of content, please DO NOT read. This is pure fantasy only. 
My name is Tim. I am 20, 2 years into college. I recently received a new roommate due to the old one becoming sick. My life has been pretty normal for most of it, but that was soon to come to an end. At least partially.
My roommate stopped by and introduced himself in my dorm. "Hey, name's Joe." He seemed friendly and straightforward. He was brownish to tan and a bit bigger than me. His legs could squish me if he wanted to. He also had a huge butt. I had to keep myself from staring. 
A few weeks pass by and seemingly nothing interesting happens, until tonight. I get out of the shower ready to hit the sheets until I hear a noise. At first I thought it was the AC but then I realized it sounded like a low rumbling. Was he....farting? I tried to ignore it but then it got louder. 
prrrrrrrrrrRRRRRBBBBBTTTTT 
Then the smell hit me. It smelled like cabbage mixed with smelly cheese. Surprisingly Joe still didn't wake up. I started to get aroused and I felt embarrassed. Right before I was about to go to sleep...
"Hey Tim, like my gas?" I froze as I didn't expect him to be awake or to know...THAT. "Um," I freeze, unable to respond. "He motions with his hand to come near him.
I for some reason obey and come closer to him and right before I get any closer he rips a short PRRBT. It smells even worse than the first one. 
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gassyloves · 1 year
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Best Bros
Collin and Jace are roommates in their first year at BLANK University. Collin is openly gay and studies theatre while Jace is your stereotypical straight dude. He’s 6′4″ with curly brown hair and brown eyes- very, very dreamy. He loves to workout and play sports with his friends, can get any girl (or guy for that matter) he wants, and just overall exudes charisma and confidence. The semester is only about two weeks in, but the two guys have bonded quite well. All it took was a fart.
Collin was cooking something to eat in their shared kitchenette when Jace came home.
“Smells good. What are you cooking?”
“Just some rice and beans. Want some?”
“If you have some left after you’ve had all you want, sure!”
“I’m making plenty, so please help yourself.”
“Awesome, man, thanks!”
Jace sets his bag down and plops face down on the living room couch.
“You okay?” Collin says with a laugh.
“Yeah it’s just been a long morning.”
“Well, it’s Friday! You can chill out all you want.”
“That’s true. Hmm.”
“What?”
“I just remembered I was gonna play basketball with the boys tonight, but I honestly don’t really want to.”
“Girl’s night!”
Jace laughs. “Hell yeah, man!”
“The rice and beans are done for whenever you want it!”
“Bet.”
They both grab a bowl and fill it with food and sit down. The two talk, eat, and watch tv when Collin says,
“Ah shit!”
“What?”
“I spilt on my pants. Ugh and all my laundry is in the wash.
It’s not that big of a deal. We’re inside and it’s just us.”
“I guess. I just feel gross haha”
“Want a pair of shorts or something?”
“Sure, actually. Thank you!”
Jace smiles and goes into his room and comes back with a pair of black basketball shorts. He hands them to Collin in a ceremonial manner, with a bow.
Collin laughs and takes the shorts.
“Thanks bae.”
Jace smooches at Collin. “No problem buddy.”
Collin doesn’t usually wear athletic clothing like that, but it’s a chance for him to feel like one of his “bros”, so he takes his dirty pants off and slides the shorts on. Once they’re done eating, they put their bowls in the sink and go to the couch to watch more tv. Jace leans over to Collin and asks,
“Wait wait dude... do you hear that?”
“Hear what?”
PPPPBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTT
A monstrous 8 second fart fires out of Jace’s basketball short cladded ass.
“Excuse me” he said with a grin.
“That was huge oh my God”
“Eh, it was alright.”
“I am afraid of you.”
“I’m harmless.” He gives a wink. “My brother on the other hand, his farts are fucking insane. He once sat on me and farted until I passed out.”
Collin laughs. “I can’t imagine you never fought back.”
“He’s a few years older than me so I never had the chance until I was like 16. But once I got strong enough to, you bet I pinned him down and gave him a taste of what he had been giving me my whole life. Also, sorry I didn’t warn you.”
“Warn me for what?”
BBBBBBBRRR
“That.”
Suddenly, Collin feels something in his stomach. He has never been much of a farter, but he felt one coming and wanted to bond with his new friend.
“That’s okay. Because I didn’t warn you about this.” BRRBRRRRTBBT.
“DUDE! I never thought I’d hear you fart.” 
“I’m usually embarrassed by it so I only do it while I’m alone.”
“That was awesome though!”
“You’re too much.”
They go back to watching.
Collin feels something again. He turns to Jace and with a grin hikes his leg up.
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.      BRRRRPP
“Two in a row?”
BRP. “Three.”
Jace sees what’s happening. The friendly competition is about to begin.
Jace, without losing focus, leans with his ass towards Collin.
“Hey no aimin-”
PPPPPPRRRRBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRR
“Beat that. Wait wait wait-” BBBBBBBRBRBRBRBR BRBRBRBRBR RBBRBRBR BR
“And those.”
Collin tries to push. “Fuck, I don’t have any more.”
“Cool dude, I do.” GRGBBBBFFFBBBBBRRBRTRBTRBTRBTRpppppbbttBRAP
He then lets out an exaggerated sigh.
A few moments go by without any farts, and Collin thinks it’s his time to shine. Like Jace did before, he leans with his ass toward Jace. Without realizing though, Jace was doing the same. The two dudes let out an explosive fart at the exact same time.
BBBBBBRBRBRRBBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBRBR
BRBRBRBRBBBPPPPPPPPPPBBBBBBBRRRRRPPPPPPPPFFFFFGGBRBR
Collin’s fart lasted longer, but the guys were too amazed at the synchronicity of their gas to give it much attention.
“Dude!” Jace said as he and Collin high five.
“If only mine wasn’t longer and more powerful than yours, our souls would be like intertwined but with farts.”
“Okay showoff.” Jace says with a laugh and a punch to Collin’s arm.
“Why’d you wait so long to fart in front of me?”
“You waited to fart in front of me too, dude.”
“Well yeah because I’m self conscious. You fart loud and proud.”
“I didn’t want to gross you out before we became friends. “
They laugh.
But now that we are...
Jace turns his head to Collin and gives him a mischievous grin. He stands up in a squat and seemingly without any effort at all releases one of the biggest farts Collin has ever heard.
PPPPPPPPRRRRBRBRBRBRBBBBBBBBBAAAAABABABABPPPPERRRRRRGRBGRBGRBRGBRGBRGRBGRBGRBGRBGRBGRBRGBRGBRGBRGRBGRBRGBRG
“Holy fuck, dude. That even shocked me.”
“Yeah holy shit. Did you shit?”
“Psh. Nah bro, I’m all air.” He then swiftly pushes his ass towards Collin and lets out a cute little poot. Collin slaps Jace’s ass away and he laughs.
“Collin I have a favor to ask you.”
“What could it possibly be?”
Jace extends his pointer finger to Collin. “Pull this please.”
He does so and Jace releases another rancid fart.
“Is the contest still going on? You have a lot to catch up-”
BBUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP
Collin releases a huge, nasty sounding burp that ends in a cute grin.
“Oh we’re getting into another territory now. Watch this.”
Jace stands up and breathes in a big gulp of air. At the same time, he sucks in some more air through his ass, which is loud enough for Collin to hear.
“Wait, you can do this shit on command?”-
BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAHBHBHBHBHBHBHBHBHBH
PPRRRRRBBBBBBTTBTBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRBBBBBBBB
He lets out a massive burp and fart at the same time.
“You win.”
“I know. But it was fun getting you out of your shell.” He smiles and rustles Collin’s hair. “I’m gonna go take a nap.”
“Okay!”
Jace lets something else out, although it’s not gas.
“Hey, um, would you want to take one with me?”
“Sure! but why”
“I’m in the mood to cuddle.”
Collin stares at Jace. “Sure, why not. But can it be in my room? Yours is kind of hot.”
“Whatever you want.”
“Cool cool cool. Oh, and don’t dutch oven me or I’ll bite your dick off.”
“Oh don’t worry. I absolutely will be doing that.”
Collin rolls his eyes and Jace laughs. As they get to the bedroom door, Jace walks into the back of Collin, who immediately takes the moment to rip a nasty sounding fart on Jace’s crotch.
“Dude, I’m so sorry it just slipped out.” Collin says as he opens his door.
“Oh, it’s really on now.”
Jace goes into Collin’s room and closes the door behind him, interested to see what comes of his friendship.
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buffpillows · 1 year
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Been awhile.  some farts for you.
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gassytvofficial99 · 2 years
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Admiral Benson 🍑💨
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https://twitter.com/nickg989898/status/1442414874999463936?s=2
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diaboliklvr · 4 years
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Reiji Sakamaki fart headcanons 1-
Reiji takes pride in manners and acting gentlemanly, so I bet this boy hates it when he has the farts. He always thinks "What a bother. Not again..", He probably tries and makes all sorts of potions and medicines to combat his little problem, but it never works.
The vamp could never crack one off in front of his brothers though. They would tease him for life. Naturally he is very careful where and when he toots.
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lifewithdavefarts · 6 months
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DaveFarts - Episode 25 “Endurance Test” [Episode List] Tim gets a bit too cocky and challenges his gassy friend by (jokingly) doubting of his farting skills. Dave, whose farts are being as powerful as usual, if not more, gladly accepts the challenge.
This story was originally requested by StraightFartGods.
POV: Tim
The weather outside, despite being warm, wasn’t the best so our plans for the night, being a group of friends who’s starting to surrender way too easily (it’s because once you’re past 25, you get instantly old), we all decided to stay home, our respective homes even, so Dave and I ended up alone. We don’t mind that much.
Dave likes going out way more than me (though it’s not like I don’t know how to have fun) but he too cherishes some good, safe alone-time to recharge social batteries: we’re much more similar than we’d like to admit, which is why we get along so well. They say we’re “the odd couple”, but I think that weirdos simply attract each other naturally, even though they can look very different at first.
“Alright.” Dave said, walking into the living room. He was dressed as if we had to leave, so a grey shirt and a pair of good old dark blue jeans, slightly loose because he untied his belt. “I’m starving.”
“Pizza?” I simply asked.
“The day I’m gonna answer ‘No’ to that is the day you’ll know a skinwalker took my place.”
The power of pizza.
Even though we didn’t actively plan for it, the night slowly morphed into a “movie night”, just the two of us on the couch eating pizza and watching a cheesy, manly, toxic action movie that we can recite by memory because of how many times we watched it: “Bullet Gore”. Now that’s a title!
“Your face is history.” the male hero said, right before turning somebody’s head to bits with his shotgun.
We cheered as and had a sip of beer as if our baseball team scored the match point and enjoyed the unnecessary but fun gore sequences of the film.
“Too bad they ruined everything with the sequel.” Dave commented.
“Aw come on. It’s worse, but not that bad.” I replied.
“Never watched and never will.” he stated, taking a good sip of beer.
By the time the movie was halfway done (it was a surprisingly long flick), I had to turn up the volume because of some noises next to me making me difficult to hear what the characters were saying.
Indeed, Dave started farting, the way he does during nights like these, with pizza and beer acting as fuel for his already incredible talent. He was resting both his legs on the small table in front of the couch, his denim ass facing the TV, so I didn’t have a proper full view of it. I could, however, hear every single blast echoing in the room, with the terrible scent immediately following each thunder.
I would love to say that he was doing this because of my kink, but this is actually what being Dave’s close friend means: you better get used to his farts, because he’s gonna just casually do it in front of you whether you like it or not. He wasn’t even acknowledging that he was ripping one every few minutes, huge ones nonetheless, though once or twice he did snap his fingers to get me to turn to him, so I could see his smirk as he ripped one. Once again, he does this with our other friends as well, but he does seem to put some extra “care” into the teasing part because he knows I actually, well, like it.
But everyone’s got limits: the farts were huge, not overly long, but incredibly stinky. Even for my standards, it was getting a bit… stuffy in there, so I actually went for it.
“I know this is weird coming from me, but… can you tone it down a bit?”
Dave slowly turned to me with a serious, surprised face, and effortlessly replied by ripping a loud, almost wet one, renewing the stench he was immune to. This time it was one of his longer ones, around 7 seconds long.
“Sorry, I can’t hear you.” he managed to say while farting. “Did you say something?”
After the fart ended and a few moments of silence (ignoring the TV), I opened my mouth to speak again, but my friend’s ass spoke first, emitting another loud, long rip.
Dave gestured to his ear and slowly shook his head, as to say the he still couldn’t hear me, as if we were in a loud nightclub, but the only music piercing through my own eardrums was my bro’s loud fart.
That ridiculous scene actually made me laugh like an idiot, while also giving me the hardest boner so far of the night.
9 seconds and the rip was over.
“So, I did it.” Dave said. “You’ve been healed. I blasted your kink out of you.” he joked.
“Please…” I played along. “Those were like… low-tier farts, for your standards.”
“True.” he playfully admitted. “So don’t tempt me.” he threatened. 
I hated that I found that… hot.
“I’m n-not… I’m just s-saying that the entire room smells like, I don’t know, rotten beer? Is t-that even possible?”
Dave laughed. “If only there was something or someone who could fix this!”
“What are you implying…?” I asked.
“Well…” Dave sat normally on the couch. “I assumed your lungs were better than this. But apparently you just can’t handle my power.” he said, with a cheesy smirk.
“Oh…” I got what he meant. “Well, maybe I’m not complaining because of you’re farting too much.” I leaned closer to him, as if we were doing some shady business. “Maybe I’m complaining because you’re not farting enough.” I dared to say.
My friend replied with a surprised laughter. “Are you seriously challenging me?” he didn’t sound offended or disgusted, just amused. But he can get cocky.
“Wanna bet?” I asked, indeed challenging him.
“Alright, get up.” 
Dave stood up and I did the same: it truly looked like we were doing a business meeting.
“Challenge accepted.” he continued, and we firmly shook hands. “If I win, beers are on you for 3 months.” 
“Deal.” I replied. “But if I win, we’re gonna watch ‘Bullet Gore 2’ later.”
While still shaking hands, Dave looked at me funny. 
“Really? That’s it?” he replied, with a smile. “All of this just to watch a shitty movie with me?”
Funny how that’s the thing he found weird instead of, you know, the boner his farts give me.
“Yeah. Pretty gay, huh?” I joked.
“Okay…” he nodded, still somewhat surprised. “It’s a deal.”
We once again had this super manly handshake going on, just as an helicopter in the movie exploded in a fiery fireball, killing a bunch of henchmen and one of the main villains, with the shirtless muscular hero saying something like “Burn in Hell, you son of a bitch!”. Probably the manliest moment I ever lived through.
“So, let’s hear those toots.” I said, bravely.”
“Toots?” my friend replied. “I’m gonna blast your face so hard you’re gonna regret having this kink…”.
Dave casually threatening me like this… got me instantly hard. I knew he was just playing along but goddammit, why am I like this? Why is he like this? Why the fuck did I even accept this bet?! As my own mind made fun of me, my bro lied on this stomach on the couch, his tall figure occupying all of it, his nice jeans-clad ass facing up, looking like a soft warm denim pillow.
I simply managed to sit between his long legs and planted my face into that ass, still stinky for all the farts he ripped until that moment. My nose wasn’t facing down however, as I didn’t want to make it weird.
“Dude.” I heard Dave say. “Honestly, your lack of commitment to your fart kink disappoints me”. he then laughed, reaching for my head. “Be a man and face my ass.” he said, pushing my head deeper between his denim asscheeks.
I tried not to laugh myself at that weird statement, so I just obeyed and turned my head, facing down, now fully at the mercy of my friend’s powerful butt. I took a good whiff, enjoying the smell of almost 1 hour of loud, post-pizza blasts. As I did that, I felt the ass’ muscles relaxing, a sign that Dave was pushing one out, and indeed it came out immediately: an ear-piercing blast and made my face shake, almost wet-sounding, felt like a slap on my face. 
My task was clear: not a single particle of gas had to reach Dave’s nose, so I inhaled it deeply and loudly as the fart kept erupting straight down my nostrils. I inhaled so hard and for so long that I actually surprisingly outlasted my friend’s 9 seconds: now the only noise we both could hear (besides someone getting shot in the movie) was me breathing his gas in… which made me realize how weird that was.
Am I making this weird? Too… “porn-y” for my straight friend? I love that he has no problems with me and my kink, but I don’t want to cross certain lines you know. He’s not saying anything… but his silence only makes it worse. I had to make sure.
“Dave.” I said, my voice being muffled by his ass, which made him laugh. “Am I making this weird?”
My friend simply turned his head, trying to look at me. I managed to get a quick look of his facial expression but the only thing on his face was a cocky smirk.
“Not weirder than usual to me.” he simply said. He then reached for my head, making it bounce a bit in his ass. “…Ready?”
Another fart erupted, which itself was Dave’s real answer to my question: “it’s fine”, he knows what this kink is by now, and he’s the one who basically challenged me to sniff it all up. Plus, if he was weirded out he knew he could just tell me and I wouldn’t be offended: we’re all adults here after all.
So there I was, my nose enduring some of the worst rips my friend ever gifted to me, the sheer power of those blasts being raunchier than his usual for some reason, maybe because of the beers being warmer or the mozzarella on the pizza being spoiled. No idea.
Or maybe it was just Dave putting extra efforts into his farts, if that was even possible. He’s the Fart King after all, so if he was somehow able to set custom pitch, loudness and power for each farts he ripped I wouldn’t have been surprised. Then again, he could even fart on command, so maybe he doesn’t need more buffs than he already has.
“Your face is history” my friend said, in a deeper voice, a clear reference to the masterpiece we were watching earlier.
And just like the henchman from the movie, my head was blown away by a sheer deadly force, this time in the form of Dave’s being unhinged, each natural blast somehow bigger and better than the previous one. I feel like that it doesn’t matter how this bet goes: I’m winning by simply having a bro like him.
I kept sniffing it all up as the blast rushed down my throat. He was good at farting, but I was also good at taking it. It’s like I said: weirdos work better together!
Yeah, I was taking it all like a champ.
“I could do this all night you know.” he boasted, during a rare moment of his ass being silent.
“What a coincidence: me too!” I bragged.
“Ohhhh… someone’s getting cocky back there.”
Dave really wanted those free beers, huh? He once again reached for my head and, with a firm grip, pushed it deeper down his warm denim ass, now almost sagging.
“Let’s see if you can keep your promise, shall we?” that was a threat.
There was like 10 seconds of silence, 10 never-ending seconds, but I just knew Dave was brewing something big, as he kept my head there (not that I was planning to move it anyway). Finally, he turned to me, with a cheesy grin, purposely trying to look like some kind of serial killer from a slasher movie before finish his victim off. 
And then he hit me with his weapon of choice: the loudest fart I heard that night. It was big, it was powerful, it was deep, long. His hand didn’t move and my whole face was shaking because of the sheer power of the blast; I had to close my eyes ‘cause the gas was making them burn. How was it possible to fart so naturally and casually like this for him will always be beyond me… but I didn’t care. I managed to breathe that monster in with my mouth open, almost choking on my friend’s deadly gas.
Dave loved the challenge, but two can play this game! I could tell he was amused, disgusted and surprised by how good I was at enduring his powerful rips.
And finally, after 16 whole seconds, that impressive display of flatulence was over, not a single particle of gas reaching my farter-friend’s nostrils, as I promised.
“I believe you’re losing your touch.” I mocked him.
“With all the farts you've been eating, of course you'd be talking shit you ungrateful bastard!”
“Ohhhh sorry, someone's a little touchy.” I kept teasing him.
“Alright, I’m done holding back.” he sounded comically annoyed by my impressive endurance.
My friend slowly turned over until he was lying on his back, making sure he didn’t accidentally kick me with his long legs. He now assumed a more familiar position, the one he usually has when blasting me. He cocked his legs up, showing off his denim ass and a tiny bit of his red boxer brief, and wrapped his legs around me, pulling me closer to his gas source. His long legs had an even stronger grip than his hand, and my whole face was now completely planted into my friend’s ass.
“I’m feeling merciful tonight, so I’m giving you the chance to surrender now.” he stated, as his legs held me still, keeping my nose right between the rough fabric of his jeans-clad buttcheeks.
“Never.” I boasted. “…unless, you know, you actually want to stop because this is getting too weir-“
“Shut up!” he cut me off. “You just had to ruin my villainous speech, didn’t you?!” he laughed.
I just didn’t know what to say.
“Again, this is your last chance bro.”
I played along, knowing he was okay with it. “Hit me with your best shot, but don’t wound what you can’t kill.”
We both laughed like immature idiots, but Dave took my words at heart, because once we were done laughing at that ridiculous moment, he felt air being sucked inside his anus.
Yes, he switched to “on-command” mode, his secret weapon, his final secret move. Despite my face being there, my bro didn’t have any trouble at sucking more and more air through his ass like a vacuum cleaner, and the sound that made wasn’t that different from an actual fart. Every time I heard that “air-being-sucked-in” noise, as silly as that sounds, I think of a drumroll, the kind of tension that raises before the beat actually drops, because that’s what Dave’s farts are: something to look forward to… if you’re into it of course.
He’s been sucking air for like 20 seconds now and I started to regret my cockiness: when even a kinky bitch like me ends up being afraid of his own best bro’s farting skills, you just know something big, maybe too big, is gonna happen.
The anticipation made me hornier than ever, and the fact that it was, well, Dave, just Dave, my friend, made it even hotter for me. So casually, undeniably hot.
Finally, he stopped sucked air in, and I could hear Dave breathing (from his mouth) heavily, a sign that he was getting tired… and even his ass was getting sweatier and warmer.
“Your face is history.” my bud said again, in a comically deep voice. 
We love that movie.
What followed, however, almost made me pass out. 
The loudness was almost unnatural, I feared it could make me deaf. Imagine the stock sound of a fart, only longer, more powerful, airy, the most impressive fart Dave ripped in months, something so powerful that he can even feel the recoil as he pushed it out… just like a shotgun.
The more he farted, the louder it got, and I swore he was gonna tear a hole through his jeans this time, there was no way his clothes were able to endure that. I kept sniffing, breathing heavily, the fart’s pace being faster than my own breathing, if that makes any sense. 10 seconds already and the blast didn’t seem to lose any power: I almost got scared.
As the fart kept getting ripped, I felt Dave stretching his long denim legs wide to ease the fart out, which in turn made it sound even louder and deadlier. I felt like living a weird fever dream, probably because of all the poisonous gas in my lungs. But I also felt the luckiest man in the world.
I dared to peek over that denim ass, only to be greeted by Dave having the most evil smirk in the world, completely unfazed by how weird I was, how all of that was… but I could also see how tired and sweaty he was from forcing all those farts out, incredibly enough.
I planted my head back where it belonged, sniffing as much as I could, as if my life depended on it, even though I was almost passing out for all that stench… and the blood rushing down to my boner didn’t help to focus at all.
And yet… I won. The fart was losing power, ending with a quick series of toots, Dave’s legs crashing down the couch, his left one on my right side, his right one on my left side, and I got up myself, my face leaving that gas trap, finally sitting down normally on the couch.
I took a good look at Dave: he was indeed tired, sweaty, sporting a silly smirk.
“Is that how you look like after sex?” I dared to joke.
My friend laughed. “Hey, I love you bro, but you gotta settle for my farts.”
I patted one of his legs in response, as a cheesy way to thank him, and hopefully he knew how thankful I was. I mean, he already knew how aroused I was anyway, so why keep the fact that I’m grateful a secret?
Dave too adjusted his position, this time kicking me on purpose while doing it, and sat back normally.
“I gotta say, I didn’t except you to win.” he admitted.
“…win?!” I replied. “Bro… I was basically done. That last one almost killed me.”
We both laughed at the absurdity of the situation.
“Let’s call it a tie then.” he proposed. “Until next time at least.” he just casually said.
I simply turned to the TV, only to find out that the movie was over.
Did Dave just face-farted me for like… 30 minutes?! Time truly flew by.
My friend then reached for his beer and the remote. We some on-demand features on our TV and, after navigating the UI for a few seconds, he started downloading “Bullet Gore 2”.
“Really?” I asked. 
“Well, if you can endure all of that gas, I can sit through a turd of a movie.” 
I think he was gonna watch this movie with me either way, regardless of any bet, just like I’m more than happy to offer him a beer whenever I could, so all of this fart-bet was for nothing.
Then again, weirdos attract each other naturally...
End of Episode 25
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~Zapped (2014)
Farter "Tripp" in his everyday life💨💨💨 🌫
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Actor ~ Jedidiah Goodacre
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griefxoxo · 20 days
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Looking
Disclaimer: All characters are 19+. If you do not like this type of content, please DO NOT read. This is pure fantasy only.
What are you staring at?
PPPPPRRRTT
Still want to keep looking. *laughs*
pssssssssstttt
A low hiss whispered from this man's circular ass. I was almost mesmerized until the smell. I was almost nauseous and wanted to leave. 
HOURS EARLIER
I was on vacation in Miami, Florida. I was excited as I would finally get a break from the world for a short time. It was noon and the sun was beating against my face. Everyone was drinking, playing at the beach, and the best part, there were some hot men 🥵. 
The day went on and around mid afternoon I met this guy called Jacky. He was tan, lean and had a cute bubble butt. He was pretty cool and seemed to even like me. We chatted and laughed, and I got introduced to his friends. 
"Hey, there's a nice little room we can share and hang out," Jacky said as he smirked. I could tell he wanted something a little more than just hanging out. 
"Sure, I don't mind," I said, agreeing. He led me to a private room which looked very comfortable and fancy. He started taking his shorts off and kept stretching and pacing around the room a little pretending to look around. I thought this was weird and ignored it. 
As I went to sit on the bed I smelled something foul. Has someone left garbage in here? I scanned the room and everything was fine. 
psst
Then I heard it. It was a very quiet poot. Now I realized what the smell was, but even stranger I kinda enjoyed it now.  
"I'm gonna go to the bathroom for a minute," I said as an excuse to hide from embarrassment. 
"Alright, don't take too long. Don't wanna miss out," he said in a cheeky tone. I started becoming even more embarrassed by how hot he was. 
I started to finally cool down after like 10 minutes and walked back out. Surprisingly, Jacky didn't notice me. However, now he was fully naked looking at his phone. Before I could even step closer to him...
Pppprrrrrbbbbbbbbbbbb
Prrbrbrb Psssssssssss brrpp
A series of long winded emission from his breathtakingly nice ass traveled through the room with an even thicker scent hanging like fog.
"I'm glad you heard that. I actually saved that one for you. I know you probably fell into my trap earlier. Hehe," he laughed playfully. 
PRRRRRRBRBRRRRTTTT blaaaap
"Woooo. That was a little wet. Sure you don't wanna sniff. I know you like it." 
I froze. Did he know this entire time? Was I not sneaky enough? Had he noticed me when I came out of the bathroom?
Waking up from my daze I hesitated. I wanted to decline, but I decided why not. I walked over and started to massage his legs. 
BRRPP
He let out a quick burst of air right into my face. I then planted my nose near his butt and softly inhaled. Jacky put his hand on my head and started shoving it deeper.
He let out a few more poots that stunk terribly for a good 20 minutes and then rubbed my face in to let it sit. 
"Aaaaahhhhh. That felt great," he said, relieved. 
"Maybe we could do this again before you leave. I'd like to sit on your face too," he chuckled." 
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foreverdre95 · 2 years
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If y’all have a #fartfetish, follow this man. RN he is THE BEST‼️‼️ #fart #malefart
Fartnight92 on TikTok
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