#it's fucking awful to go to the grocery store and buy the ingredients for a meal and it comes out to $50 for like

[wewontbesleeping]

idk what's going on with me, i just signed up for hellofresh while listening to a podcast ad. like for real. i gave them my payment information and chose some meals. idk.

#the recipes all look kind of boring but idk #it kind of seems. #like it might actually be able to help me save some money... #i'm just fucking tired of buying a $7 package of fresh herbs and using half of it #the price of ingredients is just wild #and i only need a little bit!!!! #i don't need a lot!!! #i don't need five pounds of carrots i can't use it all! #i'm just one little woman! #and it all goes bad so quickly #it's fucking awful to go to the grocery store and buy the ingredients for a meal and it comes out to $50 for like #two chicken breasts and some vegetables #like what the fuck #and that's one meal!

[brodieland]

.˚ 𓈒 ࣪.𝝑𝝔 10 Things I hate about you ´ˎ˗

Percy Jackson x Fem!Reader Synopsis: Percy was making himself cookies when he burned himself, so a certain someone had to patch him up!!! Warning(s): cursing, just a small injury nothing crazy Word Count: 1626

╰➤ MASTERLIST pt3

After school today, you had soccer practice to go to. You were running late to change because you had an assignment to make up, so you were alone when you were changing. When you were making your way to the field you heard some yelling.

"FUCK."

You were a little started. You turned over and saw that the cooking classroom was where the yell came from. Walking up and peaking through the window, you saw a familiar mop of black hair.

"Why're you so fucking loud," you said as you peaked through the door. Percy turned as he had the tips of his thumb, pointer, and middle finger in his mouth. "That doesn't look sanitary."

"Oh really? It doesn't look sanitary??"

"No need to shoot the messenger you know," you held your arms up in surrender.

"Don't you have soccer right now," Percy said as he started waving his hand back and forth. "Aren't you late?"

"I was making up an assignment, so I'm already late either way."

"Alright... so why are you here and not making you way there," Percy asked, starting to smile.

"Calm down, I was just curious on where the yelling came from."

"Well if you must know," Percy held out his hands, "I got hungry and accidentally burned my fingers."

"Woah, this ones bleeding," you grabbed the pointer finger. "The fuck were you making?"

"Cookies."

"Cookies?"

"Cookies," Percy pointed to the oven. "When I put the tray in I kind of dropped it and nicked my fingers."

"Why're they blue?"

"Can I not like blue," you rolled your eyes.

"I don't know, can you not bleed on my shoes," you both looked down and saw a drop of blood sitting on your converse. "Follow me."

You sighed in annoyance as you lead him toward the locker room. You walked inside realizing he stopped following. "Its empty, your fine."

Percy peaked his head through the door and looked around before stepping in. You chuckled as you went rummaging through your locker. "What're you looking for?"

"Bandages," you pulled out the roll and sat on the bench, gesturing him to do the same in front of you. He sat and held his hand out for you. "Can't believe I'm missing practice for this."

"Your doing this out of the kindness of your heart you know," you slightly pinched his thumb, making him wince in pain.

"Don't mention it," you grumbled. You continued wrapping it up till you got to the bleeding finger, forcing it into his mouth to clean the blood. You both laughed as you did it before finishing with his fingers.

"Thank you."

"Whatever."

"I think the cookies are done, want some," Percy offered. You thought about it.

"Fine, only because I need energy for soccer," you said as you two made your way back to class. You both went inside and looked into the oven. The blue cookies were finished.

"They're done," Percy reached out for the oven when you swatted his hand away. "What?"

"I'll grab them, already burned yourself once."

"Aw you care," Percy said as you grabbed the hot tray from the oven.

"I'm not bandaging you up for a second time dipshit."

"Dipshit?"

"Dipshit," you grinned as you put down the tray. "Why didn't you just make these at home?"

"I didn't feel like buying the ingredients, I think the guy at my grocery store thinks I'm weird for the amount of blue food dye I buy," he chuckled.

"Blue food dye isn't an ingredient," you countered as you hopped on the counter, taking a seat.

"In the Jackson household? Yes the fuck it is," Percy said as he picked up a cookie. He broke it in half, giving you the bigger piece.

"Woah. These are pretty good."

"I have a talent, don't I?"

"Just maybe," you sat in silence, thinking.

"Are you still refusing to go to the party with me on Friday," you looked at him. You hopped off the counter and started to walk off.

"I don't do parties, thanks for the cookies though" you smiled before shutting the down behind you, now sprinting toward soccer.

﹒º. ౨ৎ

As Silena made her way out of school, she was stopped by Luke. "Hey there gorgeous."

She smiled, "Oh hey Luke. Whats up?"

Luke came closer, putting his arm around Silena, "I'm just wondering if I'm gonna see you this Friday? I hope you make it you know, so we can hang out. Out of school of course."

Luke was looking her up and down, "Yeah, no totally I'll be there."

"Alright, well, I'll see you later," he winked as he walked off to his car. Silena watched as he left, not for long before you came up from behind her.

"That was sickening," you said as you walked to your car.

"Are you okay," Silena asked from behind you.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"There's blood on your shoes, did you get hurt," you were confused when you looked down and saw some splotches of red sitting on them. Then you remembered of your 'kind deed' from earlier.

"Oh, not mine."

"Then whose?"

You leaned down to wipe it off and grumbled, "Percy. He burned his fingers and I bandaged him up."

"Hmm, really? How nice of you," she smiled as she walked over to your car.

"Shut up."

"I didn't even-"

"Good. Don't," your sister chuckled as you both drove home. When you were stopped at a red light, you saw Percy on his bike, probably heading home. You chuckled to yourself, his bike was blue.

Silena noticed this, she noticed the small smile as you watched Percy ride off. She quickly pulled out her phone to text Charles.

'hey Charles, I think its working'

'what'

'operation get my impossible sister a date' 'I might make it this friday'

'thats awesome'

Charles was with Frank and Leo. The smiling at his phone didn't go unnoticed. "What's got you smiling?"

"The plans working."

"What do you mean," Leo asked.

"I don't know, that's all Silena said. She said she might make it tomorrow."

"That's kinda perfect right," Frank added. "You can probably like, make a move or something there."

"Oh god, I'm nervous now," Charles said.

"Oh lord," Leo said. "Don't tell me your getting cold feet."

"What if I try something and she, like, hates me after," Charles started panicking.

"Dude she's not gonna hate you," Frank comforted as he patted Charles back. "Trust me, she'll like you better than she does Luke. He's not actually what ever one thinks when you get to know him."

"Really?"

"Really," Leo and Frank said in unison.

﹒º. ౨ৎ

"Soo.." Silena was currently leaning on your doorway. You were sitting in bed on your laptop.

"What do you want?"

"Oh um nothing. Just you know, cookies?"

You glared up at her, immediately regretting telling her what happened when Percy burned his fingers, "What. Do. You. Want."

She came and sat down on your bed, by your feet. "You were late to soccer to eat cookies with a guy."

"I was already late anyways, might as well show up on a full stomach."

"I really want to go to the party."

"And I really don't care about the party," you grinned, making her roll her eyes.

"Your saying he baked you cookies but didn't ask you out?"

"No he asked, I just said no," you looked up and you could've sworn her eye twitched. "He asked like twice actually, I don't get why he's so persistent."

"Why can't you just do this for your sister?"

"Because my sisters going for a manwhore," you laughed. She just left the room, slamming your door shut on the way out. You went back to whatever you were doing on your laptop when you heard something tapping at your window. Confused, you went to check what it was. When you slid open your curtains, you saw Percy sitting on your window sill. "Percy?"

"You know, this is pretty comfortable, really easy to climb up to," you looked at him up and down confused. "How often do you sneak out be honest?"

"I don't, and what are you doing here?"

"You gonna let me in or??" You rolled your eyes, reluctantly letting him in. "Thank you."

You grunted out a 'you're welcome.' "Now, what do you want?"

"Well," Percy went through his book bag. "You said you liked them right?"

It was the cookies. You weren't going to admit this but you started salivating. They were better than you'd thought they'd be. "I did."

You grabbed the bag of cookies, picking one of the cookies. "Did you really climb my gutters, all the way up to my window, just to deliver some cookies? What if you fell? I already told you I wasn't gonna patch you up a second time."

"Ο μη ρισκάρων, δεν παίρνει τίποτα."

"I forgot you can speak Greek, how'd you even learn?"

"Just something I picked up, you know," you rolled your eyes.

"No need to be humble you know."

"But I'm so good at it," he smiled. "Anyways it's getting late, I don't want to overstay my welcome."

"Welcome? You didn't even come through the front door," you said as he started leaning out the window. He stopped as he sat down outside the window sill.

"Same difference. Goodnight Y/N."

"'Night Percy-" your door swung open.

"Hey Y/N can I use your..." she paused when she saw a boy sitting at your window. You just closed your eyes, taking a deep breathe as Percy just laughed.

"See ya tomorrow Y/N," and he was gone.

"Shut up," you said, while Silena just held up her arms while smiling.

"Fine, I still need your laptop though."

﹒º. ౨ৎ

✰Ο μη ρισκάρων, δεν παίρνει τίποτα - The non-risk taker gets nothing

✰Taglist: @liviessun @lara20aral @balletfilmss (just lemme know if you wanna be added)

#percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #percy jackson pjo #percy pjo #percy series #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson x y/n #percy jackson x you #silena pjo #silena beauregard #charles pjo #charlena #charles beckendorf #leo valdez pjo #leo pjo #luke pjo

[chris-continues]

Cooking for NakedToaster

A domestic ficlet of you going to make dinner for them <3

NakedToaster x GN!reader

Amazing inspiration from an amazing friend, @wizardcon4284

(I don’t know if this dragged on too long)

Let’s get writing!

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“You want dinner yet?” You spoke from the beanbag in Toast’s office.

“Uhm sure, I’ll order something. What do you want?”

You paused.

“What do you want? I’ll make something.”

They paused their game, turning their chair to you. “Make what? I only have redbull in the fridge.” He chuckled.

“I’ll go grocery shopping. What do you feel like having?”

“I can Uber us some stuff, you don’t have to make anything or go out. Or I can Uber us groceries-“

“Toast, I wanna make us something. I thought it would be nice to have a home cooked meal. You just have to help me with dishes.” You joked. (Half joked cleaning sucked most of the time)

“Alright, fine. Are you in the mood to make chicken Alfredo?”

“Sure. I’ll be out for a bit.” They turned back to their game, giving you a, “See you soon.”

Instead of walking out of the room, you walked towards Toast, to their confusion.

“I uh, love you.” You plant a kiss awkwardly on their forehead, bumping into his glasses. Shit- “Sorry-“

“No it’s- it’s fine.” They grabbed onto your shirt, twiddling with the hem.

You spoke. “I’ll see you soon?”

“See you soon…”

Despite your biddings goodbye, when you stood up a bit more to leave, Toast wouldn’t let go of your shirt, having a light hold on it.

“Sweetheart, I’ve got to leave.”

The name sent sparks up his chest and into their face, tinging into a cute shade of red.

“Can I..”

“Can you what?” Your eyebrows furrowed.

“Can I.. god, this is still so fucking hard to do- can I kiss you?”

You nod.

Their lips were dry and clearly you’d have to buy some chapstick for him while you were out, tsk tsk, but nevertheless kissing Toasty felt magical and just as nerve wracking in the best way possible. Their hands holding the hem of your shirt to keep you close, one of your hands over theirs and another holding their hair..

You grinned into the kiss.

“God, I love you.”

“Yeah, yeah me too. I mean- love you too.” Toast’s breath was caught in their throat.

You pulled away, your nose brushing against theirs.

“I’ll be out, see you later, for real this time.”

They smiled, “For real this time. See you.”

Leaving that room was the hardest thing you’ve had to do in your life (god, you were still thinking about that kiss), but the idea of making Toast dinner was more than enough to keep you going!

Getting into your car, you found the closest grocery store on your phone and made the list of what you’d need at the grocery store in your head.

Pasta, obviously,

Take a left turn,

Uhm.. chicken breast, probably. Whatever was the cheapest and a decent enough size would work,

Stop, watch the lights,

I’ll have to Google how to make Alfredo sauce, it’s probably going to need some sort of heavy cream and butter,

And so forth the flip flop process of driving and thinking about something off of the road.

Eventually, you finally make it to the grocery store and start walking in for the groceries you need. The bright fluorescent lights contrast to the sunset outside,

Do I need to bother with some veggies for a side? Why not, chicken Alfredo is really rich anyway.

Grabbing some frozen vegetables (they’re easy to make, and you really don’t want to bother with the prep of rest veggies), you finish up the list of ingredients you need for the chicken.

Last time I checked, there’s minimal cooking supplies Toasty purchased when they moved into their place. I should be good on that.

Speeding past the checkout and back to the car, the drive home consisted of some humming and focus on the road, hoping to get home so you could make dinner, eat dinner, and relax.

The keys jangled as you unlocked the door, carrying enough groceries for one dinner. Time to get cooking.

“Hi honey!” Toast yelled from their gamer room. Aw, he must he left his door open to hear you come home.

“Hey!” You grinned at this mini revelation.

You started boiling the water for the pasta, making the sauce, and sat for a bit.

“I need some music…” you clicked a few buttons on your phone and connected your phone to the Bluetooth speaker nearby.

When the water was boiling, you sauntered over, added the pasta, and started cooking the chicken. All while humming your catchy tune (as the kids say nowadays.)

Toaster watched you from afar, in awe. Nobody had cooked for him in awhile. It felt special.

“Honey! Dinner’s done.”

They immediately power walked to the kitchen, taking in the smell of dinner.

“Redbull on the side to quench our thirst…”

You placed the cans fresh out of the fridge onto the table, going back to plate the food you made.

“Anddd.. viola! Enjoy, honey.”

They smiled to themselves, “It looks amazing, thank you.”

“Of course.” You smiled, starving.

Enjoy the meal!

#blooming panic #visual novel #fanfic #drabbles #nakedtoaster x reader #nakedtoaster bp #chris writes

[iluvjesus666]

fuck it. chuck palahniuk's "guts" in pretty rainbow gradient

Inhale.

Take in as much air as you can.

This story should last about as long as you can hold your breath, and then just a little bit longer. So read as fast as you can.

A friend of mine, when he was thirteen years old he heard about "pegging." This is when a guy gets banged up the butt with a dildo. Stimulate the prostate gland hard enough, and the rumor is you can have explosive hands-free orgasms. At that age, this friend's a little sex maniac. He's always jonesing for a better way to get his rocks off. He goes out to buy a carrot and some petroleum jelly. To conduct a little private research. Then he pictures how it's going to look at the supermarket checkstand, the lonely carrot and petroleum jelly rolling down the conveyer belt toward the grocery store cashier. All the shoppers waiting in line, watching. Everyone seeing the big evening he has planned.

So, my friend, he buys milk and eggs and sugar and a carrot, all the ingredients for a carrot cake. And Vaseline.

Like he's going home to stick a carrot cake up his butt.

At home, he whittles the carrot into a blunt tool. He slathers it with grease and grinds his ass down on it. Then, nothing. No orgasm. Nothing happens except it hurts.

Then, this kid, his mom yells it's “suppertime”. She says to come down, right now.

He works the carrot out and stashes the slippery, filthy thing in the dirty clothes under his bed.

After dinner, he goes to find the carrot and it's gone. All his dirty clothes, while he ate dinner, his mom grabbed them all to do laundry. No way could she not find the carrot, carefully shaped with a paring knife from her kitchen, still shiny with lube and stinky.

This friend of mine, he waits months under a black cloud, waiting for his folks to confront him. And they never do. Ever. Even now he's grown up, that invisible carrot hangs over every Christmas dinner, every birthday party. Every Easter egg hunt with his kids, his parents' grandkids, that ghost carrot is hovering over all of them.

That something too awful to name.

People in France have a phrase: "Spirit of the Stairway." In French: Esprit de l'escalier. It means that moment when you find the answer, but it's too late. Say you're at a party and someone insults you. You have to say something. So under pressure, with everybody watching, you say something lame. But the moment you leave the party…

As you start down the stairway, then — magic. You come up with the perfect thing you should've said. The perfect crippling put-down.

That's the Spirit of the Stairway.

The trouble is even the French don't have a phrase for the stupid things you actually do say under pressure. Those stupid, desperate things you actually think or do.

Some deeds are too low to even get a name. Too low to even get talked about.

Looking back, kid-psych experts, school counselors now say that most of the last peak in teen suicide was kids trying to choke while they beat off. Their folks would find them, a towel twisted around the kid's neck, the towel tied to the rod in their bedroom closet, the kid dead. Dead sperm everywhere. Of course the folks cleaned up. They put some pants on their kid. They made it look… better. Intentional at least. The regular kind of sad, teen suicide.

Another friend of mine, a kid from school, his older brother in the Navy said how guys in the Middle East jack off different than we do here. This brother was stationed in some camel country where the public market sells what could be fancy letter openers. Each fancy tool is just a thin rod of polished brass or silver, maybe as long as your hand, with a big tip at one end, either a big metal ball or the kind of fancy carved handle you'd see on a sword. This Navy brother says how Arab guys get their dick hard and then insert this metal rod inside the whole length of their boner. They jack off with the rod inside, and it makes getting off so much better. More intense.

It's this big brother who travels around the world, sending back French phrases. Russian phrases. Helpful jack-off tips.

After this, the little brother, one day he doesn't show up at school. That night, he calls to ask if I'll pick up his homework for the next couple weeks. Because he's in the hospital.

He's got to share a room with old people getting their guts worked on. He says how they all have to share the same television. All he's got for privacy is a curtain. His folks don't come and visit. On the phone, he says how right now his folks could just kill his big brother in the Navy.

On the phone, the kid says how, the day before, he was just a little stoned. At home in his bedroom, he was flopped on the bed. He was lighting a candle and flipping through some old porno magazines, getting ready to beat off. This is after he's heard from his Navy brother. That helpful hint about how Arabs beat off. The kid looks around for something that might do the job. A ball-point pen's too big. A pencil's too big and rough. But dripped down the side of the candle, there's a thin, smooth ridge of wax that just might work. With just the tip of one finger, this kid snaps the long ridge of wax off the candle. He rolls it smooth between the palms of his hands. Long and smooth and thin.

Stoned and horny, he slips it down inside, deeper and deeper into the piss slit of his boner. With a good hank of the wax still poking out the top, he gets to work.

Even now, he says those Arab guys are pretty damn smart. They've totally re-invented jacking off. Flat on his back in bed, things are getting so good, this kid can't keep track of the wax. He's one good squeeze from shooting his wad when the wax isn't sticking out anymore.

The thin wax rod, it's slipped inside. All the way inside. So deep inside he can't even feel the lump of it inside his piss tube.

From downstairs, his mom shouts it's suppertime. She says to come down, right now. This wax kid and the carrot kid are different people, but we all live pretty much the same life.

It's after dinner when the kid's guts start to hurt. It's wax so he figured it would just melt inside him and he'd pee it out. Now his back hurts. His kidneys. He can't stand straight.

This kid talking on the phone from his hospital bed, in the background you can hear bells ding, people screaming. Game shows.

The X-rays show the truth, something long and thin, bent double inside his bladder. This long, thin V inside him, it's collecting all the minerals in his piss. It's getting bigger and more rough, coated with crystals of calcium, it's bumping around, ripping up the soft lining of his bladder, blocking his piss from getting out. His kidneys are backed up. What little that leaks out his dick is red with blood.

This kid and his folks, his whole family, them looking at the black X-ray with the doctor and the nurses standing there, the big V of wax glowing white for everybody to see, he has to tell the truth. The way Arabs get off. What his big brother wrote him from the Navy.

On the phone, right now, he starts to cry.

They paid for the bladder operation with his college fund. One stupid mistake, and now he'll never be a lawyer.

Sticking stuff inside yourself. Sticking yourself inside stuff. A candle in your dick or your head in a noose, we knew it was going to be big trouble.

What got me in trouble, I called it “Pearl Diving”. This meant whacking off underwater, sitting on the bottom at the deep end of my parents' swimming pool. With one deep breath, I'd kick my way to the bottom and slip off my swim trucks. I'd sit down there for two, three, four minutes.

Just from jacking off, I had huge lung capacity. If I had the house to myself, I'd do this all afternoon. After I'd finally pump out my stuff, my sperm, it would hang there in big, fat, milky gobs.

After that was more diving, to catch it all. To collect it and wipe each handful in a towel. That's why it was called Pearl Diving. Even with chlorine, there was my sister to worry about. Or, Christ almighty, my Mom.

That used to be my worst fear in the world: my teenage virgin sister, thinking she's just getting fat, then giving birth to a two-headed retard baby. Both heads looking just like me. Me, the father and the uncle.

In the end, it's never what you worry about that gets you.

The best part of Pearl Diving was the inlet port for the swimming pool filter and the circulation pump. The best part was getting naked and sitting on it.

As the French would say: “Who doesn't like getting their butt sucked?”

Still, one minute you're just a kid getting off, and the next minute you'll never be a lawyer.

One minute, I'm settling on the pool bottom, and the sky is wavy, light blue through eight feet of water above my head. The world is silent except for the heartbeat in my ears. My yellow-striped swim trunks are looped around my neck for safe keeping, just in case a friend, a neighbor, anybody shows up to ask why I skipped football practice. The steady suck of the pool inlet hole is lapping at me and I'm grinding my skinny white ass around on that feeling.

One minute, I've got enough air, and my dick's in my hand. My folks are gone at their work and my sister's got ballet. Nobody's supposed to be home for hours.

My hand brings me right to getting off, and I stop. I swim up to catch another big breath. I dive down and settle on the bottom.

I do this again and again.

This must be why girls want to sit on your face. The suction is like taking a dump that never ends. My dick hard and getting my butt eaten out, I do not need air. My heartbeat in my ears, I stay under until bright stars of light start worming around in my eyes. My legs straight out, the back of each knee rubbed raw against the concrete bottom. My toes are turning blue, my toes and fingers wrinkled from being so long in the water.

And then I let it happen. The big white gobs start spouting. The pearls.

It's then I need some air. But when I go to kick off against the bottom, I can't. I can't get my feet under me. My ass is stuck.

Emergency paramedics will tell you that every year about 150 people get stuck this way, sucked by a circulation pump. Get your long hair caught, or your ass, and you're going to drown. Every

year, tons of people do. Most of them in Florida.

People just don't talk about it. Not even French people talk about everything.

Getting one knee up, getting one foot tucked under me, I get to half standing when I feel the tug against my butt. Getting my other foot under me, I kick off against the bottom. I'm kicking free, not touching the concrete, but not getting to the air, either.

Still kicking water, thrashing with both arms, I'm maybe halfway to the surface but not going higher. The heartbeat inside my head getting loud and fast.

The bright sparks of light crossing and criss-crossing my eyes, I turn and look back… but it doesn't make sense. This thick rope, some kind of snake, blue-white and braided with veins has come up out of the pool drain and it's holding onto my butt. Some of the veins are leaking blood, red blood that looks black underwater and drifts away from little rips in the pale skin of the snake. The blood trails away, disappearing in the water, and inside the snake's thin, blue-white skin you can see lumps of some half-digested meal.

That's the only way this makes sense. Some horrible sea monster, a sea serpent, something that's never seen the light of day, it's been hiding in the dark bottom of the pool drain, waiting to eat me.

So… I kick at it, at the slippery, rubbery knotted skin and veins of it, and more of it seems to pull out of the pool drain. It's maybe as long as my leg now, but still holding tight around my butthole. With another kick, I'm an inch closer to getting another breath. Still feeling the snake tug at my ass, I'm an inch closer to my escape.

Knotted inside the snake, you can see corn and peanuts. You can see a long bright-orange ball. It's the kind of horse-pill vitamin my Dad makes me take, to help put on weight. To get a football scholarship. With extra iron and omega-three fatty acids.

It's seeing that vitamin pill that saves my life.

It's not a snake. It's my large intestine, my colon pulled out of me. What doctors call, prolapsed. It's my guts sucked into the drain.

Paramedics will tell you a swimming pool pump pulls 80 gallons of water every minute. That's about 400 pounds of pressure. The big problem is we're all connected together inside. Your ass is just the far end of your mouth. If I let go, the pump keeps working - unraveling my insides, until it's got my tongue. Imagine taking a 400-pound shit, and you can see how this might turn you inside out.

What I can tell you is your guts don't feel much pain. Not the way your skin feels pain. The stuff you're digesting, doctor's call it fecal matter. Higher up is chyme, pockets of a thin runny mess studded with corn and peanuts and round green peas.

That's all this soup of blood and corn, shit and sperm and peanuts floating around me. Even with my guts unraveling out my ass, me holding onto what's left, even then my first want is to somehow get my swimsuit back on.

God forbid my folks see my dick.

My one hand holding a fist around my ass, my other hand snags my yellow-striped swim trunks and pulls them from around my neck. Still, getting into them is impossible.

You want to feel your intestines, go buy a pack of those lamb-skin condoms. Take one out and unroll it. Pack it with peanut butter. Smear it with petroleum jelly and hold it under water. Then, try to tear it. Try to pull it in half. It's too tough and rubbery. It's so slimy you can't hold on.

A lamb-skin condom, that's just plain old intestine.

You can see what I'm up against.

You let go for a second, and you're gutted.

You swim for the surface, for a breath, and you're gutted.

You don't swim, and you drown.

It's a choice between being dead right now or a minute from right now.

What my folks will find after work is a big naked fetus, curled in on itself. Floating in the cloudy water of their backyard pool. Tethered to the bottom by a thick rope of veins and twisted guts. The opposite of a kid hanging himself to death while he jacks off. This is the baby they brought home from the hospital thirteen years ago. Here's the kid they hoped would snag a football scholarship and get an MBA. Who'd care for them in their old age. Here's all their hopes and dreams. Floating here, naked and dead. All around him, big milky pearls of wasted sperm.

Either that or my folks will find me wrapped in a bloody towel, collapsed halfway from the pool to the kitchen telephone, the ragged, torn scrap of my guts still hanging out the leg of my yellow-striped swim trunks.

What even the French won't talk about.

That big brother in the Navy, he taught us one other good phrase. A Russian phrase. The way we say: "I need that like I need a hole in my head…" Russian people say: "I need that like I need teeth in my asshole…"

Mne eto nado kak zuby v zadnitse

Those stories about how animals caught in a trap will chew off their leg, well, any coyote would tell you a couple bites beats the hell out of being dead.

Hell… even if you're Russian, some day you just might want those teeth.

Otherwise, what you have to do is, you have to twist around. You hook one elbow behind your knee and pull that leg up into your face. You bite and snap at your own ass. You run out of air, and you will chew through anything to get that next breath.

It's not something you want to tell a girl on the first date. Not if you expect a kiss good night.

If I told you how it tasted, you would never, ever again eat calamari.

It's hard to say what my parents were more disgusted by: how I'd got in trouble or how I'd saved myself. After the hospital, my Mom said, "You didn't know what you were doing, honey. You were in shock." And she learned how to cook poached eggs.

All those people grossed out or feeling sorry for me…

I need that like I need teeth in my asshole.

Nowadays, people always tell me I look too skinny. People at dinner parties get all quiet and pissed off when I don't eat the pot roast they cooked. Pot roast kills me. Baked ham. Anything that hangs around inside my guts for longer than a couple hours, it comes out still food. Home-cooked lima beans or chunk light tuna fish, I'll stand up and find it still sitting there in the toilet.

After you have a radical bowel resectioning, you don't digest meat so great. Most people, you have five feet of large intestine. I'm lucky to have my six inches. So I never got a football scholarship. Never got an MBA. Both my friends, the wax kid and the carrot kid, they grew up, got big, but I've never weighed a pound more than I did that day when I was thirteen.

Another big problem was my folks paid a lot of good money for that swimming pool. In the end my Dad just told the pool guy it was a dog. The family dog fell in and drowned. The dead body got pulled into the pump. Even when the pool guy cracked open the filter casing and fished out a rubbery tube, a watery hank of intestine with a big orange vitamin pill still inside, even then, my Dad just said, "That dog was fucking nuts."

Even from my upstairs bedroom window, you could hear my Dad say, "We couldn't trust that dog alone for a second…"

Then my sister missed her period.

Even after they changed the pool water, after they sold the house and we moved to another state, after my sister's abortion, even then my folks never mentioned it again.

Ever.

That is our invisible carrot.

You. Now you can take a good, deep breath.

I still have not.

#i'm currently reading haunted and i'll be damned if guts ain't the greatest piece of fiction ever written #millennia of literary history has led up to the pinnacle that is this. humanity's single greatest artistic achievement. #chuck palahniuk #guts #chuck palahniuk guts #guts chuck palahniuk #shitpost #long post #horror #body horror

[teatimeallovertown]

I am in the middle of writing out a long, angsty fic so I wanted to write something short and fluffy for a break. So please enjoy some Gallavich fluff ft. Ian's tomatoes and Mickey being a clingy, soft husband. Because who doesn't want that?

Mickey's restless.

Which is stupid, because it's a Saturday. Their day off. And Mickey is and has always been fully committed to using every second of their days off for relaxation purposes.

But right now Ian's out in the garden and Mickey's restless.

It's mostly because they didn't fuck this morning, which is really annoying. Mickey had woken up with a raging hard-on, per usual, and rolled over to press it insistently against Ian's thigh, per usual. Normally, morning sex followed. At least once, if not twice. And since it was a Saturday that meant morning sex without the annoying reminder they needed to get up and out the door soon. Mickey's favorite.

(Well, all sex with Ian is Mickey's favorite. But lazy Saturday morning sex is high on the list).

But instead when Mickey'd nudged his wood into Ian, Ian had just chuckled and kissed him, way too quickly, and climbed out of bed despite Mickey's protests.

"It's going to be hot today. I want to get out in the garden while it's still bearable."

So Mickey had been forced to jerk off in the shower and now, hours later, he's just sitting on the couch, mindlessly scrolling through his phone.

Ian's fucking garden.

He loves that thing. Comes inside dirty and beaming (which is kind of hot, honestly) and on good days carrying armfuls of fresh herbs and vegetables.

Mickey can't taste the difference between the ones from Ian's garden and the ones from the store but that's probably because he drowns them in salt regardless. Sue him, not like Terry fed them a balanced diet growing up.

But Ian loves it. Loves washing them carefully once he brings them inside. Loves googling the fanciest recipes he can cook his vegetables into. Which ruins Ian's argument that the garden saves them money on groceries since he ends up buying all these ridiculous ingredients for those dishes. But whatever. They've got decent money now. It makes Ian smile so Mickey doesn't complain.

But Mickey had expected him to be back inside by now. It's almost noon. It's almost noon on a Saturday and Mickey hasn't been plowed within an inch of life which is quite frankly unacceptable.

So that's why he's irritated.

He's also aware of the fact Ian had just put on one layer of sunscreen before he headed out the door and hadn't brought a bottle of water. But only aware. Not concerned. Only thinking about it because the sun's all the way up the sky and there's no shade in the garden. But he's Mickey Milkovich. He doesn't worry about shit like that. Not at all.

He's also maybe a little annoyed because Ian's not here. It's stupid. He's just got Netflix on in the background and TikTok up on his phone. It's no different than what he would be doing if Ian was sitting right next to him or in the kitchen. Maybe he'd have his legs slung over Ian's lap or maybe he'd gravitate, coincidentally of course, to the kitchen counter while Ian cooks.

The thing is, since Mickey'd gotten himself dropped into prison with Ian they haven't really spent any significant time apart. There were those couple weeks when Mickey was still in prison and that was fucking awful but they'd still talked on the phone every day. Then there was the whole Byron fiasco, which neither of them really like to talk about, but even then Ian kept coming by every day.

So yeah, maybe Mickey gets a little restless when Ian's not around. And maybe the fact he's halfway through a Saturday and Ian isn't here isn't sitting right with him.

But whatever, he's not that clingy. Ian will be fine. Mickey will be fine.

Another fifteen minutes pass before he caves.

He grabs a bottle of sunscreen, two water bottles from the fridge and tugs on a pair of shorts before heading down the hallway and out the door.

Fuck, it's hot. Humid too. What's taking Ian so fucking long? He's got to be dehydrated.

Mickey heads over to the community garden and pauses at the gate. Ian's on his hands and knees, always a good view, hunched over one of his plants. Mickey sighs. He can see Ian's neck is red from here.

He pushes the gate open and heads over to Ian who doesn't look up until Mickey's standing directly behind him, blocking the sun.

"Hey," Ian says, looking surprised but pleased to see him. His face has smears of dirt all over it and his shirt is sticking to his body with sweat. Fuck, he looks good. Mickey licks his lip. "What are you doing here?"

"Checking on your pale ass," Mickey replies, handing over one of the water bottles. "Thought you'd have been done by now."

Ian's smile widens and his eyes get that twinkle in them he always gets when Mickey does something sweet.

"Worrying about me, huh?"

"Worrying about your dick," Mickey mutters back, neck flushing. He's getting better with the whole openly being a caring husband but it's still hard, sometimes. "Been waiting for you to fuck me all morning."

Ian rolls his eyes but doesn't lose the soft smile.

"Maybe I like making you sit around and think about me."

This time Mickey rolls his eyes. He holds up the sunblock.

"You're gonna be a fucking lobster, man."

"I didn't mean to be out here so long," Ian explains. "But some birds must be eating my tomatoes. Look!"

Mickey glances over and sees Ian's picked a bunch of ripe tomatoes, sitting in a basket, most of them clearly picked at by something.

"Sorry, man," Mickey offers, not really caring all that much. He doesn't personally like tomatoes. "Put some poison on them or something."

"I don't want to kill the birds," Ian says, shooting Mickey an exasperated look. "I just want them to stop eating my tomatoes."

Mickey's not sure what to say to that so he just shrugs.

"Well...you coming back inside soon? Hot as balls out here, man."

Ian smiles.

"Miss me?"

"Fuck you," Mickey says, automatically. They both know he does.

"Yeah, yeah. Me and my dick are coming in. Let me just pick the zucchini. I think they're okay."

Mickey sighs but sits down on the side of the garden, waiting for Ian to finish. He knows Ian's going to make some weird zucchini dish tonight. And Mickey's going to eat it because Ian's going to spend hours carefully preparing it in the kitchen.

The shit he does for his husband.

Mickey gets plowed twice that afternoon, once before bed and they manage three rounds the next morning, one of which includes Ian eating his ass within an inch of his life. Mickey assumes he earned that for eating the disgusting zoodles Ian insisted on making for dinner.

But he did order a pizza afterwards.

On Monday he does the pick-ups alone. It's a slow day, most people do their pick-ups in the second half the week, so Ian can stay home and handle calling the clients to finalize that week's schedule. Mickey doesn't like spending the day without Ian but he also hates calling the customers and if Ian came with him, they'd end up spending their evening making the calls. So whatever, it's just a few hours.

The last pick-up cancels when he's on the way (he drops a few nasty words over the phone when Ian calls him, reminding them both why Ian deals with the clients). He starts to turn the ambulance around to head home, bother Ian a bit until he finishes up with work, but notices a gardening store across the street.

He doesn't really know what he's looking for when he walks in and apparently it's obvious because a worker comes up to him immediately.

"Can I help you with something sir?"

Mickey's instinct is to tell this lady to fuck off. Because she kind of appeared out of nowhere and is a little too close to him, neither of which Mickey handles well. But he takes a deep breath, like Ian taught him to do, and forces the scowl off his face.

"Uh...fucking birds keep eating my husband's tomatoes. Is there some shit I can buy to keep them off?"

The woman looks a little appalled, Mickey lets himself believe it's because of his language and not the fact he referenced his husband, but twitches her mouth back into a smile.

"Sure. Have you tried anything yet?"

"Don't think so," Mickey replies because Ian didn't mention anything.

"Well, it can be a bit of work to put up but netting is the best option."

"Like around the plants?"

"Yes. Keeps the birds from getting through."

"Alright, I'll take it." "Well do you want to see-,"

"Nope."

Ian's not home when Mickey gets there but there's a note on the counter.

Tami and Lip have the flu. Went for some emergency babysitting. Be back soon. Dinner in the fridge - xo Ian

Mickey frowns at the note and briefly considers driving over to Lip and Tami's new place. Ian probably doesn't need help, he's really good with Freddie, but Mickey's not sure how long he's going to be there and he's already spent the day without Ian.

He shakes his head. He might as well use the time alone to be productive.

The lady at the store wasn't kidding, the netting is a pain in the ass. Fortunately it's late in the day and the sun is going down so it isn't too hot and there's no one else in the garden to listen to Mickey drop some nasty insults to the netting in question.

It gets tangled up a couple times and he can't get one side of it to stay up correctly for a while but finally, after nearly two hours, he wipes his dirty hands on his pants and admires his handiwork.

It's ugly as fuck, no doubt about it, but no way a fucking bird is getting in there now.

The gardens are behind the complex and the opposite direction of where they park so they only walk past it if they're intending to. The rest of the week is slammed, apparently one of their newer clients referred them to a few people so they have to add three meetings this week with potential clients, so Mickey forgets about the netting completely until Saturday.

This time, Ian wakes him up with a blowjob. Mickey knows it's to try and speed things up since he wants to get to the garden. But it still beats last weekend's blue balls.

It's another hot day so before Ian can head out the door Mickey forces himself out of bed, chucking a water bottle and sunscreen at him.

"I don't want you bitching about getting fried again," he says defensively when Ian throws him that mushy, enamored look but happily takes the kiss Ian gives him before he leaves.

He's just settled on the couch, mug of coffee in hand, when the door flies open again. Ian's standing there, eyes wide and an enormous grin on his face.

"You forget something?" Mickey asks, frowning. Ian just steps inside and closes the door behind him.

"Did you put netting up around my garden?" Ian asks, voice brimming with a mix of shock and giddiness. Mickey flushes a bit but shrugs.

"Yeah, you were bitching about the birds and there was a gardening store nearby that canceled drop-off this week. No big deal."

"Mickey," Ian says and his voice is dripping in affection. It makes Mickey's insides go all warm and soft but forces the embarrassed flush higher on his cheeks. "Mickey, that is so sweet."

"Fuck off," Mickey mutters, flipping Ian off as he marches towards the couch, sitting on the coffee table across from Mickey. "It's just some fucking netting."

"My tomatoes look great," Ian says, reaching a hand forward and stroking his knuckles across Mickey's cheekbone. Mickey instinctually leans into it.

"Good. Fuck birds," Mickey says, shifting a little under Ian's adoring gaze. "Seriously, Red, I didn't fucking cure cancer."

Ian just smiles wider and leans forward, grabbing at Mickey's waist to tug him into standing and pulling him between Ian's parted legs. He wraps his arms fully around Mickey's middle, pressing his face into Mickey's stomach.

"Fucking love you, Mick."

Mickey can't help but grin, dragging a hand through Ian's hair.

"Love you too, Gallagher. Now go pick some fucking tomatoes. Didn't spend hours putting up the fucking netting for nothing."

Ian pulls his head back, a devilish look on his face, and curls his fingers into the waistband of Mickey's boxers.

"I will. Got something more important to take care of first."

And so maybe, being a sweet, doting husband isn't so bad.

#my writing #idk what this is #but i felt like it #gallavich fic #gallavich #drabble #fluffy fluffy fluff #ian's tomatoes

[sunarinluvr]

|| haikyuu boys finding you asleep on the couch after an argument ||

includes: kuroo tetsurou, miya osamu, & oikawa tooru

a/n- hello! sorry for posting so late, but this has been sitting in my drafts for a while and i was actually in the mood to finish it so i hope yall enjoy! oh and im not really sure about how i feel about it,,, might take it down later we shall see.

warnings: none ( lmk if there’s anything! )

KUROO -

last night you saw a post kuroo’s “work wife” had made on instagram with her kissing him on the cheek, and it didn’t make you feel the best, so you decided to bring it up to him the next morning. and you did, just as he was getting ready for work you talked to him about it.

you were standing in front of him filled with anger arguing about how it made you uncomfortable, “can you please listen?! i dont feel comfortable with your “work wife” kissing you?” you yelled. “Y/N it was on the cheek its not a big deal!” and to be honest you just wanted to cry. 

finally, he walked past you and opened the door. “i don’t have time for this y/n, stop being so insecure! at least she wouldn’t argue over something so small!” and with that, he slammed the door and you stood there stunned. kuroo knew that he shouldn’t have said that, instant regret and guilt filled his gut.

 but he already said it, he can’t do anything about it now. with a frustrated sigh, he went to work. hoping to fix everything when he gets home. you stood there speechless, as you realized you still had work so slowly you made your way to the bathroom. 

after getting ready and grabbing a quick snack you were out the door with a heavy chest. once you get home, tired and feeling worse than before. you trudged to the couch and plopped down letting out a shaky sigh remembering the argument and the words he said repeating in your head. 

you broke down crying, and before you knew it, the exhaustion from today took over and you were sound asleep on the couch. kuroo got home an hour later, he felt guilty and was already practicing how he’d apologize to you as he walked in.“y/n? kitten?” no answer. 

he called out again, and was met with silence, he made his way over to the living room where he found you sleeping on the couch. gently walking towards you he knelt down, and saw your tear-stained face which made his heart sink. “i fucked up” he said to himself.

giving you a gentle kiss on your forehead he softly apologized and carried you to the bedroom. you ended up waking up when you felt his body weight dent the bed. “tetsu?” you said softly squinting at him. relief rushes through his body at the sound of his nickname. looking at you with guilt in his eyes

“im so sorry kitten, i shouldn’t have said that. i didn’t mean to hurt you” he said gently. at that tears started flowing again and he was quick to hug you and wipe your tears with his other hand. “it’s ok, i shouldn’t have been so insecure anyways” 

he shook his head with a frown “no it’s not your fault ok? i didn’t mean anything i said. i love you so so much and i’m so lucky that you’re mine” you look up at him and gave him a small smile “okay” before cuddling closer to him. giving you a soft kiss on the lips he hugged you tighter as you both fell asleep.

OSAMU -

osamu was just having a horrible day, his head was pounding and the customers he had to deal with today were just plain rude. then he had to do most of the work since one of his employees called in sick, and for some reason, everything just annoyed him.

you on the other hand did not know about his day at all and thought it would be nice of you to make a surprise visit. walking in with a huge smile on your face stopping midway when you realize he wasn’t at the counter. “where’s samu?” you asked sweetly to the employee

“he’s in the back, i think he has a headache,” she says giving you a small smile. you can tell something was off by the way she spoke but decided to just brush it off and make your way to the back. “hi samu! surprise!” you exclaimed cheerfully as you make your way towards him

he just kind of looks at you, which you thought was weird, but you decided to hug him anyways. when he doesn’t hug you back and groan, you pull away and look at him “baby i heard you had a headache. i didn’t bring any medicine, but we could eat first and i-” 

you couldn’t even finish your sentence since osamu just stood up. he was infuriated and had no clue why, usually loved listening to you but today he was just annoyed. “look y/n a don’t mean ta be rude, but a don't have the energy for this right now. please just go home.” he said coldly staring right at you.

“excuse me? i came here to surprise you and this is what i get??” you said in shock, voice a little louder this time. rolling his eyes “Oh wow am so surprised! now will ya please go home? a don’t wanna argue right now!” he yelled. with tears forming in your eyes you quickly wiped them and left. osamu knew he shouldn’t have said all that, but he was too mad to run after you in front of all the customers. 

you rushed home and sluggishly made your way to your room to change into something comfier, making your way to the couch, curling up into a ball allowing your tears to fall, and somehow falling asleep, after getting tired of crying. he gets home a few hours later, guilt building up in his stomach as he mentally slaps himself for the things he said. 

walking into the living room he opened the lights and you were the first thing he noticed. seeing you curled up into a ball on the couch made his heart drop to his stomach. you on the other hand woke up because of the sudden change of lighting. 

gradually adjusting your sight you see him and switch your gaze onto the floor when you saw him look at you too. seeing your puffy eyes he walks towards you slowly and sits beside you giving you enough space. “am sorry, a shouldn’t have taken my frustration out on ya.”

you look at him with watery eyes and his heart sinks “yea i was just trying to be nice, sorry i didn’t warn you before coming” he opened his arms and you instinctively scooted closer to him, he sighs “no a love it when you surprise me a was jus having a bad day a love ya so much ok?” finally hugging him “okay i love you too” giving you a quick kiss he offered to make you food and of course you said yes.

OIKAWA -

you love oikawa, and you’re very supportive and understanding especially when it comes to his career. but he has an awful habit of overworking himself and as much as you love him you can't bear the fact that you couldn’t even see him anymore.

he goes home late at night -as in you’re already sound asleep late- and when you do stay up to see him, he’s too tired to even keep a conversation. then the next morning he’s gone before you could even wake up. you’ve spoken to him about this many times, but alas nothing changed.

you woke up to an empty bed as usual, but today was different though, you’ve planned a dinner for about 2 weeks now. you were very excited because it’s been so long since you both spent some quality time together and he promised to come home early. 

getting up you send him a little text reminding him of your dinner tonight, with a smile you head on over to the bathroom to get ready for work. once work was over you made a quick visit to the grocery store to buy the ingredients you’ll need to make tonight’s dinner. 

quietly humming to yourself while going through each aisle, and double-checking your list to make sure you’re not missing anything while checking your phone here and there. oikawa still hasn’t replied “he must be busy,” you say to yourself as you send him another text about the dinner just in case. after about 30 minutes you get home rushing since it was already late, and immediately getting started on dinner. 

once you're done you sat down and waited, and waited, and waited. it's been 4 hours. dinners cold and still no sign of your boyfriend. you decided to call him pissed off that he couldn’t even show up to one dinner, “hello? y/n i can't talk right now i still need to practice” 

he said as soon as he picked up. “tooru? did you get my texts? what about dinner, we’ve made plans for this 2 weeks prior! i even-” you were cut off “look just eat without me ok? we can eat again somet-” now it was your turn to cut him off. 

“oikawa tooru, you leave the house while i’m asleep and come back when i'm asleep. i just wanted to spend time with you..whatever good luck at practice,” you replied as you hang up. his heart sank when he heard the crack in your voice rushing to his car on his way home to you because he knows he fucked up. 

buying your favorite flowers for you on the way home cursing himself and the world for making it traffic at that exact moment. when he got home the first thing he saw was the food and you fast asleep on the couch. he felt a pang of guilt about being late. 

“y/n chan?” he said while gently waking you up. you stare at him with red puffy eyes and he hugged you giving you the flowers “im sorry baby, i should’ve prioritized you and our dinner. i promise ill do better” you saw how genuine he was being so you accepted the flowers and hugged him tighter as he offered to reheat the food you made.

reblogs are highly appreciated!

#kuroo tetsurou #kuroo tetsurou x reader #kuroo tetsurou x you #kuroo tetsurou x y/n #kuroo x you #kuroo x y/n #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsurou headcanons #miya osamu #miya osamu x reader #miya osamu x you #miya osamu x y/n #osamu x you #osamu x y/n #osamu x reader #miya osamu headcanons #oikawa tooru #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa tooru x you #oikawa tooru x y/n #oikawa x you #oikawa x reader #oikawa x y/n #oikawa tooru headcanons #kuroo tetsurou hurt/comfort #oikawa tooru hurt/comfort #miya osamu hurt/comfort #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu

[clairdelunelove]

AOT Valentine’s Day Headcanons

eren jaeger x reader, jean kirschstein x reader, armin arlert x reader, levi ackerman x reader, erwin smith x reader, porco galliard x reader, genderneutral!reader

genre: insane amounts of fluff, comfort 

warnings: slight cursing, insane amounts of fluff 

synopsis: small scenarios of what some  aot boys would do for you during valentine’s day. 

a.n: enjoy the lovely day with some of these cuties! remember to take care of yourselves and know you’re all loved <3

-

-

eren jaeger

this man would definitely try to cook a nice dinner for you 

especially if you’re having a hard week 

expect him to be researching the best recipe a couple days beforehand 

“what are you doing, eren?”

he’ll glance up and nonchalantly mutter, “nothing, babe” while scrolling through fancy recipes 

on valentine’s day it’s his time to shine 

waits for you to leave the house and go to work before leaving to pick up the necessary ingredients 

gets in a verbal argument with a store clerk if he doesn’t find the exact name of what he’s searching for 

“are you deaf? I said I needed a bag of shrimp”

“and we have that, sir. you said you needed a bag of prawns right?”

“it’s shrimp! how many goddamn times do I need to repeat myself?”

gets home with bags full of groceries and gets to work 

slowly chops all the vegetables and curses when he nicks his finger with the edge of the knife 

puts too much oil in the frying pan and tosses everything in there 

scrolls through his phone while waiting 

spends fifteen minutes ogling at his screensaver 

of course it’s a pic of you 

ends up burning everything he made

orders takeout, plates it real nice, and attempts to brush off that it was his cooking once you’re home 

“this is so good, babe!” you exclaim while lifting the fork to your mouth, “tastes like the order we usually get at that one French restaurant.”

“glad you like it, baby”

cue his nervous sweating 

-

-

jean kirschstein 

simp energy!

makes previous reservations to take a painting class with you 

tells you to dress warm before the two of you head out 

so! happy!

has the goofiest smile on the actual date

tucks your hand in his pocket while walking to the art studio

spends the whole time checking over at your easel 

audibly approves of everything you do, even if you’re drawing a line 

“wow, it looks great sweetheart” 

scrunches up his brows while concentrating 

listens to the art instructor say to paint something that they love 

takes it quite literally 

paints you 

tries to get each pretty feature about you 

swipes his hand over his cheek and gets paint on it 

literally sweats out of pure focus and won’t want to leave until he’s done

“jean, babe, we gotta go” 

“five more minutes please. almost done”

five min turns into five hours 

jean’s painting of you is surprisingly amazing and he’s even lowkey impressed 

has a random stranger take a pic of you and him together while holding up the paintings

treats you to an expensive restaurant afterwards and pays

full stomachs = happy couple 

pulls you close while walking through the downtown streets 

whispers cheeky pickup lines into your ear and presses a kiss against your head

best. day. ever. 

-

-

connie springer 

did you say it was valentine’s day?

shit 

definitely forgets about the whole holiday but is quick enough to put something together for you 

you both aren’t super invested in sappy holidays but connie tries each time 

the morning of, he’ll run to the nearest shops and try to pick out a bouquet of flowers for you 

everything’s sold out 

will curse his luck and literally sprint out of there 

kicks himself for not planning in advance as he’s walking up the driveway of your house

notices the neighbor’s beautiful flowers 

idea!

he will dash through each neighbor’s yard and pick their flowers so a mismatched bouquet rests in his hand

“happy valentine’s day, my favorite goofball!” 

“thanks, babe,” your wide eyes stare at the uncoordinated bouquet in your hands, “I love it”

cue the mud that falls to the floorboards 

you scold connie about the dirt that’s still stuck on the roots since it dirties the floors 

he’ll take you out to watch a comedy show too!

whole evening of laughter while his arm is wrapped around your shoulder

you were both glowing in happiness (along with having a sore stomach) afterwards

wraps his sweater around you since the evening was getting chilly 

drives you home and gives you the sweetest kiss 

he’ll pull away with a, “wow” while being completely dazed out 

let’s you take his jacket home and texts you corny jokes the whole night 

-

-

Maro Bott 

desperately! wants you to be his valentine 

almost cries tears of joy when you accept his confession which only makes you confused 

“Marco, sweetie, we’ve been dating for two years”

“doesn’t matter, love” 

shows up extra early with a bouquet of roses 

“happy valentine’s day!”

expect him to walk inside the house and look through all your cabinets for a vase 

helps you pick out an outfit because he has the “perfect date” planned 

causes you to be wrapped in bundles of clothing 

won’t tell you where he’s taking you once the two of you are in the car

“an,” you tilt your head and albeit a bit puzzled, “ice rink?”

“time for some ice skating!”

laces up your skates before he even does his own so he makes sure it’s secure 

will ask multiple times if your feet are comfortable 

once he has his skates on, it’s game over 

can’t walk without holding onto your hand for a couple moments 

“this is harder than I thought,” he confesses with a nervous grin 

gets on the ice and falls 

hard 

the thump causes everyone to look at the two of you and he only responds with, “oh look (Y/n)! I’ve fallen for you! Get it?”

undoubtedly makes you giggle and onlookers awe

gets the hang of ice skating and teaches you how if you’re scared of falling 

makes excuses to pull you close and sweetly kiss your cheek 

“it’s part of the learning process”

the day was as sweet as Marco is 

-

-

Armin Arlert 

bookstore date!

will definitely plan in advance because he wants everything to be perfect 

expect a good morning text that’s a whole paragraph long <3

still asks you, “can I be your valentine?” even if you are both dating 

plan on wearing matching outfits for the day 

light academia style of white turtlenecks, beige pants, and cardigans 

will take a selfie with you and set it as his lock screen so he can awe at it every second 

“you’re breathtaking” 

intertwines your fingers with his when you’re holding hands 

swings it while walking 

lots of attention once the two of you step inside the bookstore

constant whispering about the matching outfits and innocent affection 

he’ll lead you to the back of the store and spend the entire day there 

sits on the floor, leaning against the wooden bookcase, and stroking your hair while you’re laying on his lap 

silence = peace 

piles of books around you both 

“how’s the plot, love?” 

will ask that when his head is resting on your thigh and inwardly loves how comfy you are 

buys all the books you want and waves away your credit card when you try to pay 

“consider it repayment for spending the day with me” 

holds the tote bag of books the whole time despite it being heavy 

stops by the cafe to buy cups of hot chocolate

notices a small amount of whipped cream on the corner of your mouth 

chuckles and stops to literally lean down to press his lips against yours in order to wipe it off 

whispers, “you’re so lovely, angel”

both of you will pull away with flushed faces and lovesick smiles 

-

-

Levi Ackerman 

“what’s this for, brat?”

frowns once he opens his front door and you’re standing there with a wide grin 

“happy valentine’s day, dear! I wanted to watch a movie then-” 

“yeah, yeah” 

lets you in anyways 

takes the large basket full of movies, snacks, and skincare out of your hands

sets it on the kitchen counter and you immediately pop a bag of popcorn into the microwave

your movements are quick as you’re scurrying around the kitchen retrieving bowls, plates, and napkins 

levi watches you from the couch, inwardly pleased that you’re able to memorize the layout of his house since you’ve been over so many times 

he’d never tell a soul though 

movies with levi!

he won’t pay attention to the movie at all but still comments film mistakes 

“he wasn’t even wearing that sweater in the previous scene” 

“levi, honey, who even pays attention to that” 

“people with eyes” 

allows you to cuddle close to him but his fingers itch to bring you even closer 

audibly groans when you move away to fetch something 

“self care time!” you exclaim while holding up a pack of face masks 

will not let you put one on him once he sees how silly they look 

“please?”

“no,” he states, “they look fucking ridiculous”

does it anyways once your puppy dog eyes are on display 

curses as you slick his hair back and put one on him 

hates it and voices his opinion 

but at the end of the day, he agrees with the saying, ‘happy wife, happy life’ 

and oh yes, you were going to be his wife one day 

-

-

Erwin Smith 

imagine sleeping in and waking up to breakfast in bed 

pancakes, waffles, bagels, raspberry streusel muffins 

and everything’s like 

in the shape of a heart <3

turns on some classical, romance music 

sweet candles that smell like vanilla = burning 

that’s what this man would do 

wakes up super early 

determined to whip everything up pronto 

folded all the laundry, cleaned the dishes, vacuumed the house 

amazing 

10/10 gentleman 

“good morning, love” 

edges the bedroom door open with his shoulder while holding a tray of delicious food 

definitely still in casual wear clothes 

a sweater and grey joggers that he wore to sleep 

loves the smile on your face

says “happy valentine’s day” and presses a kiss on the back of your hand 

sits on the edge of the bed while you eat 

chuckles when you feed him 

lets you though 

brushes your hair back each time you take a bite to eat 

amusingly shakes his head whenever you over-exaggerate a hum in delight 

pleased smirks!

definitely tried to swipe whip cream over your cheek just to hear you giggle 

it’s beautiful 

watches the way the sunlight pours through the window and creates a glow on your face 

serenity, calmness, and adoration 

discreetly pinches himself to make sure he isn’t dreaming 

wouldn’t want this day to end 

-

-

Porco Galliard 

“you doin’ anything today or what?”

will be the first text you get from him in the early morning 

after a second passes, the little dots show up to indicate he’s typing again 

“nvm. lemme take you out today” 

shows up to your place unannounced and immediately notices what you’re wearing 

“you’re wearing that? like for real?”

“is there something wrong with it?”

notices the panic in your eyes and immediately stutters  

“nah, just,” he’ll bring his hand up to swipe at his noise while avoiding your gaze, “think you’ll be cold but you can wear my jacket or whatever.” 

leads you to his muscle car and opens up the passenger door for you 

surprisingly chivalrous for the day 

drives throughout town to pick up stuff like a blanket, picnic basket, pre-made food, drinks 

pays for it, of course, because he claims he’s the better man like that 

“only scummy men let their partners pay” 

spends the whole day driving around, hand on your thigh, while blasting your fav songs” 

rolls the windows down so other drivers look your way 

will also flip off anyone that suggestively gazes at you 

loves when you belt out the lyrics and eagerly want him to join your singing session 

rolls his eyes, “me? singing? gross.”

will sing 100% but only if you don’t call his bluff

pulls to the side of the road and sets up a romantic picnic spot nestled in an open field 

drapes his jacket over your smaller physique and only mutters, “wear it before you catch a cold”

spends the evening star gazing, letting you rest your head on his chest while his hands are folded behind his neck 

carries you back to the car once you’re asleep, snaps on your seatbelt, presses a kiss on your forehead, and mumbles, “thanks for lettin’ me take you out today, idiot.” 

#eren x reader #eren jaeger #eren jaeger headcanons #jean kirschstein #jean x reader #jean kirschtein headcanons #armin aot #armin arlert #armin x reader #levi ackerman #erwin smith #porco headcanons #porco galliard #connie springer #connie x reader

[dinamitae]

i'm yours | ksj

part of the life goes on series

pairing: seokjin x f. reader genre: modern/quarantine!au, established relationship!au, fluff, slice of life word count: 2.5k+ girl what happened to drabbles??! rating: pg15 warnings: set during quarantine, talk of the pandemic, mentions of sex, suggestive comments, a gross amount of affection, literal tooth-rotting fluff summary: this is the second birthday you’re celebrating in quarantine and your boyfriend, seokjin, vows to make it even more memorable than the last.

a/n: uhh surprise!!! i planned to have jungkook's out next but i somewhat spontaneously got inspiration for this one and ended up cranking it out in about a week. but tbh this was so fun to write and i hope it shows :))

one more thing - this is the ring i used for reference ;) happy reading!

The lingering warmth of your boyfriend beside you slowly dissipating is what wakes you up this morning.

Previously beside you, actually, and you’re only about half awake at the moment. You’re vaguely aware of the comforter being pulled back, the chilly morning air tickling a sliver of your now-exposed back. You roll fully onto your stomach and fold your arms above your head as you listen to the soft rustling of fabric, your boyfriend quietly getting dressed. “What time is it?”

Seokjin chuckles, voice deep and still a little rough with sleep, and ignores your inquiry. Instead, he puts one knee on the bed so he can lay his head right by yours, nose centimeters from brushing your own. “Good morning, birthday girl.”

“Morning,” you rasp, eyes still closed. “What time is it?”

“Don’t worry about it,” he mumbles softly, tilting his head up to kiss your nose (you scrunch it almost reflexively, and he chuckles again). “Go back to sleep, angel.”

You pout at that. “Are you going somewhere?”

“Yeah, I need to...run an errand.” You manage to pry one eyelid open to glare at him suspiciously. “Since when do you run errands?”

“Okay, your first birthday gift from me is that I’m not going to retaliate to that. I’ll be back in a bit.” The one eye you have open rolls ever-so-slightly at his wit before fluttering shut.

“Whatever,” you playfully sigh, reveling in the way his soft lips feel on your forehead. Completely oblivious to the adoring expression that your boyfriend wears, the last thing you hear is his receding footsteps before sleep overtakes you once more.

You wake up again about an hour later to the aroma of coffee wafting into your bedroom.

After slipping one of Seokjin’s big t-shirts and a fresh pair of panties on, you pad into your bathroom to brush your teeth, blankly staring at yourself in the mirror and watching the minty foam collect around the corners of your mouth. You’re turning 25 today. This is the second birthday you’re celebrating in quarantine, which at this point just feels...normal. You remember how sad you felt during your 24th birthday, how uncertain you felt about the state of the world around you. It almost felt wrong to celebrate anything, even your birthday, while there were people out there dying. Luckily, Seokjin was there to very level-headedly remind you that the same can be said for just about any point in time, and that you deserved to celebrate your birthday regardless of the circumstances. And so, albeit a little reluctantly, you did.

Honestly, being with Seokjin has been your saving grace during quarantine. The two of you had only recently started living together when everything shut down, and you’re both fairly busy (you recently started your last semester of law school, Seokjin is the co-editor in chief at a local newspaper), independent people— needless to say, there was definitely some trial and error when you first had to work from home. But you eventually fell into a nice rhythm that suited both of your work and solitude needs, and for that you are so, so thankful.

You finish the rest of your morning routine before heading downstairs, where you’re greeted by a box of pastries, two cups of coffee, and your boyfriend leaning his hip against the counter. He looks up from his phone with a smile when he hears you approach. “Good morning...again.”

“An errand, huh?” You eye the baby pink and white stripes lining the box on the counter, indicating that they’re from your favorite local bakery. You raise an accusatory eyebrow at Seokjin and mirror his stance.

“Yup,” he gives you a tender kiss on the lips. “Only for you. Happy birthday, babe.”

You smile and thank him softly, standing on your tippy toes to peck him on the lips again before grabbing an apple turnover. Seokjin takes that as an opportunity to wrap his arms around your waist from behind and rest his chin on your shoulder. You sink your teeth into the pastry that’s still warm on your tongue, then you blindly try to offer your boyfriend a bite. Giggles escape both of your lips when you miss entirely and some jelly ends up on his cheek— you dutifully turn your head to kiss it off of his face before actually putting the treat in his mouth.

“As much as I love my apple turnovers,” you loll your head to the side so your face is half buried in the crook of his neck, “I’m a little disappointed that morning head wasn’t my first present.”

You feel just as much as you hear his rumbling laugh behind you. “Don’t worry,” he plants a kiss on the side of your head with a smirk, “I’m saving that for later.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

So far, the day has consisted mostly of responding to a gracious amount of birthday text messages, phone calls, and even a few brief but heart-warming facetimes. At around noon, you and Seokjin pick up some fried chicken takeout for lunch, talking and laughing and eating in the safety of his car, before making a brief trip to the grocery store to get some ingredients for dinner along with a small birthday cake.

Evening rolls around, and Seokjin’s stomach grumbles impatiently while you’re cuddling on the couch— with a laugh you take that as a sign to start making dinner. As you’re opening a can of tomatoes for the vodka sauce you both love, your boyfriend puts on some music— more specifically, the playlist he curated for your birthday last year. You cook in comfortable silence alongside each other, save for the occasional “‘scuse me” when you maneuver around one another and the sound of your voices softly singing along to the lyrics. You’re just about to turn the heat down under the sauce so it doesn’t burn while the penne finishes boiling when one of your favorite sappy songs, Sunday Morning by Maroon 5, comes on shuffle.

“Awe, ‘cmere,” Seokjin coos and gently tugs you into his arms with the hand closest to him, holding it right above his heart while his other arm wraps around your torso. You snake your free arm over his broad shoulders and rest your cheek on the other side of his chest. The two of you resume your comfortable silence, basking in each other’s presence as you sway to the jazzy tune.

Sometimes you can’t believe that this is your life. Slow dancing in the kitchen with the love of your life was something you honestly thought was an exaggheration— just one of the many ways people romanticize love and all that it entails. Finding someone that understands you like no one else and loves you for all your flaws was something you merely dreamt of, something that seemed so unattainable. But here you are, dancing in the kitchen with the love of your life, feeling understood and loved and cherished in every way imaginable. And it’s all because of Seokjin.

In light of your thoughts, you let out a blissful sigh. “I love you, you know that?”

Your boyfriend peers down at you fondly, taken aback by your seemingly random proclamation. “Gee, after dating for three years I would hope so.”

You smack his shoulder with a tsk despite the warmth creeping onto your cheeks. “Shut up, I’m just feeling...soft. And it’s your fault, by the way.”

“Is it, now?”

“Yeah,” you mumble into his chest, before looking up to meet his eyes. “You just...make me feel so loved— so special, even when it’s not my birthday. And I hope I make you feel the same, because I really do love you, Jinnie. So much.”

Seokjin rubs a soothing hand on your back as he sucks in a breath and gives your hand, still in his, a reassuring squeeze. “Well, I hope you know that you make me feel the same and more, y/n. You make me so happy and I— I fall more and more in love with you everyday.”

You struggle to find the words to describe just how greatly you reciprocate his sentiment, so instead you pull him impossibly closer, your lips meeting in a languid kiss. Seokjin moves to deepen it, his hand gently cupping the side of your face while one of yours slides into his hair, when the timer set for the pasta rings through the air.

You reluctantly pull away, a faint smile on your lips. Seokjin huffs in mock annoyance as you wipe some lip gloss off of his bottom lip. “Sorry, I love you but I love properly cooked pasta more.”

After finishing your delicious homemade meal, you find yourself sitting at your kitchen table once again, your store-bought cake with mismatched candles lit on top sitting in front of you.

(“There are only five in here!” Your boyfriend calls to you from the kitchen, as you’re currently in the bathroom.

You bark out a laugh, unable to contain your amusement. “Wait, seriously?”

“Yeah, leave it to us to forget to buy candles while we’re literally at the store getting a cake.” A pause. “Don’t worry, each candle can count for 5 years!”

“...Fuck off!”)

Seokjin hurries back from the light switch to sit across from you so he can properly sing you a happy birthday before the wax melts onto the cake. You listen intently, mesmerized by your boyfriend’s singing voice that’s just as beautiful as everything else you love about him. When he finishes, your eyes flutter shut, both out of serenity and obligation.

This is the part where you usually pretend to make a wish, but this year you feel like there are some important matters to be wished for. World peace, maybe? The pandemic ending soon would be nice— for everyone but especially for you being able to kick some attorney ass in person and not just on a zoom call. Happiness...is that too basic? Oh, also—

“Yah, are you writing an essay to the birthday fairy in that head of yours?”

You open your eyes to shoot him a glare that’s met with an amused smile from Seokjin. “That hardly makes any sense,” you weakly rebut, though you concede that you did have your eyes closed for longer than probably necessary. You extinguish all five candles in one blow.

While you cut two generous slices of your cake (red velvet with cream cheese frosting, your favorite), Seokjin goes into your bedroom to fetch your gift, flicking the lights back on as he exits. He returns with a small purple gift bag that has white tissue paper peeking out of the top and hands it to you, sitting beside you this time instead of across the table.

You open the card first (like the polite person that you are), which reads “Happy Birthday to my main squeeze” with lemons wearing sunglasses on the front. You’re still giggling at the pun when you unfold it completely, a few slips of card stock falling out as you do so.

“Coupons…?” Your voice trails off as you read the hand-written tickets. “One free chore, one free tickle attack— ooh, a free kiss! I think I’ll cash that one in now,” you wiggle our eyebrows comically at your boyfriend. He lets out a hearty, window wiper-esque laugh before leaning in to give you a peck on the nose, positively endeared.

You bite your lip in excited concentration as you flip through the remaining ones, before releasing it into a fond pout. “Thank you, bubs, these are so cute.” You’re still admiring your boyfriend’s doodles while he takes a deep breath in lieu of a response. “There’s one more thing in there.”

Your eyebrows pinch a bit in confusion at his sudden nervousness, but you don’t question it just yet. You put your hand back into the bag and fish around in the sea tissue paper until your fingers land on a small, velvet box. You freeze, wide eyes immediately flitting to meet your boyfriend’s. “Jin…”

“This is not a proposal I promise,” his words jumble together in his rush to calm your nerves. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding in, before pulling the box out of the bag. Opening it up, a small gasp escapes your lips at what lay inside. The ring is delicate in every sense of the word; a thin, gold band holds a total of seven gems, three small diamonds on either side of a stunning, oval-shaped emerald. “O— oh my god, this is beautiful, I’m— Jin, I’m at a loss of words…”

“I’m glad you like it,” he hums, taking another deep breath. “I know we agreed that we don’t want to get married just yet, but I...I also know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Like I said earlier, y/n, you make me so happy— happier than I’ve ever been— and living with you during this stupid pandemic only solidified that.” He looks up to see you already admiring him through teary eyes, the enamored smile painting your features giving him the confidence to say his next sentence. “So this can be your reminder that I promise to marry you one day, and that I’ll do anything in my power to make you just as happy, if not more.”

You sit up a little straighter, caressing his cheek lovingly. “God, you already make me so incredibly happy...and you remind me every day that we’re in this for the long run— all the little things you do for me, every time you’re patient with me, constantly talking about getting a dog,” he lets out a watery chuckle at that. “I love this...so much, don’t get me wrong— but I don’t need a ring to remind me, you know?”

“I know, baby,” he turns to kiss the palm of your hand, “but I’m also tired of fending off guys at the bar. Now you’ll have a pretty little ring on your finger to let ‘em know you’re mine.”

The combination of his words and the playful, yet sincere grin on his lips strikes a chord within you, and not just in your heart; he is yours, and you are his. This isn’t exactly news to you— you’ve had this conversation with him a handful of times before, where you both agreed that you weren’t ready for marriage just yet. And while you were truthful in saying that you don’t need a ring to remind you that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, it’s still one of the most thoughtful gifts you’ve ever received (it also makes you want to jump his bones...and soon).

Despite your racing heart and your thoughts that are far from innocent, you opt for rolling your eyes and inching closer until your faces are mere inches apart. You feel your eyelashes brush his cheeks as you briefly look down at his lips, then back up into his warm, inviting eyes. The same warm, inviting eyes that you’ll happily gaze into for the rest of your life.

“Yeah, I’m yours.”

a/n: if anyone happens to recall, this one was originally titled "a promise" on the series masterlist, but i decided to change it after writing that last bit :,) i hope you enjoyed reading, & feedback/comments are always appreciated!!!! <3

#sappiest shit i've ever written but i loved every second of it #seokjin fluff #seokjin x reader #seokjin fanfiction #bts fluff #bts x reader #bts fanfction #seokjin x female reader #kpop fanfiction #btshoneyhive #bangtaninn #my writing

[topsytervy]

Brownies ~ Rafe Cameron

Blurb: You have a craving for brownies at 2 AM and your boyfriend Rafe helps you make them.

Word Count: 1,598

Warnings: uh swearing. I'm pretty sure that's it

~~~~~~~

You sat on your boyfriends bed, scrolling through your phone as you tried to find a brownie recipe that caught your eye.

You were spending the night at Tanneyhill since the rest of the family had decided to take a weekend trip to the mainland. Rafe declined, deciding that there was no way in hell he could survive a weekend with his family.

So here you were.

It was midnight, Rafe had fallen asleep hours ago, but you just couldn't. Not with the craving of brownies as intense as it was.

You smiled as you found a recipe for caramel brownies that looked delicious and bookmarked the page so you could make them when it was a reasonable time. 

You sighed, beginning to lay down but Rafe's voice scared you.

"You good, Y/N/N?" He mumbled, his back to you. You were about to answer when your stomach growled, causing Rafe to turn his head towards you, an amused expression on his face. "Or is someone a bit hungry?" He chuckled.

You smacked his shoulder. "Shut up. I've been thinking about brownies for the past two and a half hours at least." You replied sheepishly. 

"And whats stopping you from making brownies?"

"I know damn well the only brownies Rose has in this place are from the box and I want to make them from scratch."

Rafe sat up and looked at you. "Then why don't we go get what we need to make them from scratch?" He grinned.

You shook your head. "No. We don't have to. It's late and you were sleeping and it's ridiculous to make them right now-" 

Rafe placed his hand over your mouth. "It's never too late for brownies, baby." He smirked before getting up, tossing you one of his hoodies before pulling on a different one. 

You grinned as you pulled on the hoodie before getting out of Rafe's bed, extremely grateful you wore slip-on shoes today as you quickly pulled them on.

You and Rafe ran downstairs before throwing open the front door, Rafe grabbing his keys as you did, and you raced to his truck, climbing in. You buckled yourself in as you waited for Rafe to finish locking the door.

Rafe opened the driver’s side door and slid in easily, buckling himself in before shoving the keys into the ignition and starting the truck.  

"Buckled in, sweetheart?" He glanced over and you nodded as his hand found it's home on your thigh, the smile on your face growing. "Then let's get this show on the road."

During the ride to the nearest Wal-Mart, you grabbed the little notebook and pen Rafe kept in the glovebox and wrote down what you needed to get as the radio played softly in the background. 

You looked over at Rafe with a small smile and he glanced at you. 

“What?”

You shrugged. “Nothing. Just admiring you.” 

You saw Rafe blush. “Well, stop. You’re distracting me and I don’t want to crash with precious cargo in the car.”

You felt your heart speed up. “Awe, Rafe, baby.” You cooed, resting your head on his arm. 

Rafe shook his head with a chuckle. “Don’t make a big deal out of it. It’s not like this is a new development.” 

“I know but still. You shock me sometimes.”

“I hope it’s a good shock.” Rafe laughed as he pulled into the nearly empty parking lot and easily pulled into a spot near the door.

“Of course it’s a good shock you silly billy.” You answered, leaning over to kiss his cheek before unbuckling your seat belt and hopping out.

Rafe followed your actions and easily fell into step next to you, grabbing your hand. Rafe grabbed a cart, leaning against it as he pushed it into the store and towards the grocery section.

"Alright, baby. What do we need?"

“Butter, sugar, eggs, vanilla extract, unsweetened cocoa powder, flour, salt, and baking powder. Plus, caramel cause I want to add caramel.” You listed off as you looked at the little notebook in your hand.

“Of course you do.” He chuckled and you swatted him with the notebook. 

“Shut up. If there’s anything better than brownies, it’s caramel brownies.”

Rafe shook his head before you lead the way down the aisles, picking up each ingredient and placing it into the cart. 

As you crossed the last item off the list Rafe began heading to the home section. You raised your eyebrows as you followed him, stopping in front of the wafflemakers before grabbing one and placing it next to the groceries.

“Why are you buying a wafflemaker?” You asked.

“Cause every time you spend the night, Y/N, you want waffles for breakfast so we go out and get waffles. Now, we can make them at home.” He grinned, looking at you.

“Correction, We can make waffles at your home since it’ll be at your house.” You pointed out.

“Good observation.” He nodded before grabbing another waffle maker and adding it to the cart. “Now, we can make waffles at both of our homes and we have matching waffle makers.” 

“Rafe Cameron, I am not letting you buy me a waffle maker.” You scolded, grabbing one of the boxes to put it back. 

“Then I guess we will just have to move in together in order for both of us to have waffles.” He smirked before kissing your cheek and turning around to head to self-checkout.

You blushed slightly before following, looping your arm through his and resting your head on his upper arm as you walked with him. “You’d really want to move in with me?” 

He nodded. “Yeah. Who else is gonna make sure you don’t accidentally cut your finger off while cooking. Someone’s gotta make sure you stay in one piece baby.”  Rafe pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

You rolled your eyes at his reasoning before walking in front of the cart as you approached the self-checkout lanes. You scanned the items and Rafe pulled out his card, paying for it as soon as the last item was in the bag. He grabbed the receipt before tossing it into a bag and grabbing one of the plastic bags.

“Thank you for taking me to Wal-Mart at a ridiculous time just to get things for brownies and thank you for paying. And thanks for buying a waffle maker cause you know how much I love waffles. You’re the best baby” You grinned as you walked ahead of him, turning around so you could face him. 

“Anytime bubs. Just know that this means I get the first brownie out of the pan.” He winked.

You walked up to him and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. “I knew there would be a catch.” 

An hour later, you sat on the counter at Tanneyhill, scraping the bowl clean of batter as you waited impatiently for the brownies to bake. Rafe leaned against the island, smiling as he watched you.

***

Rafe swiped some batter earlier multiple times, hence why you got the bowl. That was apparently a rule in your house but he was positive that you were making that shit up. Who has a rule about whoever swipes batter during the baking process, doesn’t get to lick the bowl, spoons, beaters, etc?

Supposedly, your nana.

Rafe would just have to ask nana Y/L/N at the next family function.

“What?” You asked, looking at your boyfriend as you licked the spatula clean before going back to scrape some more batter out.

“You got something right here,” He leaned over and took his finger, wiping your chin before popping his finger into his mouth.

You scrunched up your nose. “Gross, Rafe. That was on my face.”

“So? I’ve kissed you when you’ve had a crying session and snot was running out of your nose.” He shrugged.

You rolled your eyes before glancing at the timer next to you. 

Three more minutes.

“You know, I could get used to this.”

“Hmm?”

“This. Me and you, in our own place, making food at an unreasonable time, a cat or a dog running around. Maybe a couple of kids in the future if you want them.” You stared at Rafe which caused him to get nervous. “Only if you want them because I’m, obviously, not going to be the one carrying them for all those months and delivering them and-”

“Rafe,” You cut him off from his rambling, “Your genes are way too good to let go to waste. Of course, I would love to have kids with you in the future.” You reassured him. 

He smiled. “No, sweetheart. Your genes are way better than mine.” He argued.

You got down from the counter and wrapped your arms around his neck and he slid his own around your waist. “Either way then, our kids are gonna be fucking gorgeous.”

“Damn straight.” He smirked, kissing your lips as the timer went off.

Rafe’s grip tightened on you as you attempted to pull away and you groaned. “Rafe, I am not in the mood to wait another hour and a half for brownies. Please let me go so they don’t burn.”

“Since you asked politely,” Rafe gave you one last kiss before letting you go and you immediately grabbed the oven mitts. "Actually," He took the oven mitts from your hands and slid them onto his hands, turning off the oven before opening it to pull out the pan.

"I think I can take a pan out of an oven." 

"Not without burning yourself you can't."

~~~~~

#rafe cameron #rafe x reader #rafe outer banks #outerbanks rafe #rafe obx

[httpswwwtbhkcom]

1A Boys Falling in Love at First Sight With You

[Headcanons]

Pairing: Koji Koda x Reader,  Rikido Sato x Reader, Mezo Shoji x Reader, Eijiro Kirishima x Reader (Separately and in order)

[@httpswwwtbhkcom’s masterlist]

Summary: What was the first encounter with you that made his heart beat faster?

Warning: Swearing,

Genre: Fluff

Keys:

Y/n- your name, L/n- last name

A/n: All is 13 (Not the age). Don’t ask why i didn’t add Mineta, i know you know why.

I was inspired by this post. So i thought i should make one too.

If you don’t know some of them, their link is in their names at ‘Pairing’

Reader: Neutral

Click here to see the other part(s). (Other Characters) - Part 1  - Part 2 (Here) - Part 3

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

Koji Koda:

Made by: tonerukun in pinterest

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

He met you in the park.

You were playing and petting some animals nearby. He looked at you in awe. It was so cute! But you alone made him blush. 

When the animals noticed him standing watching as you play with them, they ran towards him. Which made him in the mix of worry/sorry and happiness. 

“Oh i’m sorry, are all of these yours?” You asked him worriedly. Wow, he never thought your voice would be that angelic. 

He shooked his head, flustered. 

“Oh, uhm.. My names Y/n. What’s yours?” You asked. Koda looked down flustered and muttered under his breath. You looked at him confused. “Sorry, I couldn’t hear that. Can you repeat it?” 

“Koda...” He finally muttered out for you to hear. “Koda. hm.... Such a great name!” Your words made him blush more. “Thank you...”

Soon after, you both sat down on the grass and played with the animals. Koda thought he should try to impress you so he made a simple command for the animals.

You heard Koda murmur something to the animals but couldn’t place what he was saying. The animals immediately left to who knows where to do the bidding of Koda.

“Huh? Where are they going?” You asked to no one in particular. You glanced at Koda who was already blushing hard.

Few short minutes later, the animals came back with a flower crown. They went in front of you. The birds who were carrying the flower crown neatly placed it on your head. You softly caressed the flowers in the flower crown and smiled “That’s your quirk? It’s so cool!!” You exclaimed. Koda’s heart pounded. He nodded and shyly smiled.

“The flower crown is beautiful, Thank you.” You kissed Koda’s cheek and stood up. “I need to go, Bye Koda!” You waved then walked away. He looked at you awestrucked as your figure slowly faded from his view.

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾ 

Rikido Sato:

Made by: ??? (Please tell me who owns the art so i could credit them!)

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾ 

You met him in the grocery store.

You were just going to buy some ingredients for your cake and sweets since it’s going to be your friend’s birthday tomorrow.

He was also going to bake cake but for different reasons.

You tried to reach the flour, which was on the top shelf. And sadly, you couldn’t reach it. You gave up, you were going to call a staff and help you get the flour but a hand took the flour for you.

“Here, I saw you try to grab it so I thought I could help you.” He said, handing you the flour. “Thank you so much-....?”

“Sato.” “Thank you so much Sato! I’m Y/n nice to meet you!”

The grocery shopping changed to having a conversation to your new friend.

He learned that both you and him had the same favorite hobby, baking. For some odd reason, he seemed to have a liking to you. The way you talk had a sweet tone which makes him melt.

“I need to go now, I hope I could talk to you more but I have to bake for my friend. Bye Sato!”

“Bye Y/n, See you next time.”

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾ 

Mezo Shoji:

Made by: ???

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾ 

He met you at a takoyaki stand.

You were sitting on an empty chair peacefully eating the food.

Shoji was supposed to buy a takoyaki, eat alone at an empty chair, then leave.

But when he bought the takoyaki, he looked around to see all of the seats taken beside where you are. You have an empty seat in front of you. He felt his legs moving on it’s own. He seems to be going closer to you.

“Is this seat taken?” He blurted out (With his other hand?). He begins to panic. What if you said he was weird? What if you told him to go away? What i-

“No. You can sit there if you’d like.” He stood there for a second, slowly realizing your words. He finally sat down. “You aren’t scared?” He asked after a few seconds of silence. “No, There’s more weird things than that. I think it’s pretty cool though.” You softly smiled, then you took a bite of your takoyaki.

You both talked about his quirk soon after. He was happy you didn’t thought of him as weird. His heart beated faster as you smiled and talked about him. That he wasn’t weird, that he was special. It was a nice change.

“So, uh, Can I get your number Y/n?” He asked, rubbing his neck and looking away, blushing. You giggled and took a piece of paper and a pen (Which was surprisingly there). You wrote your number and gave it to Shoji. He furiously blushed at the words written on the paper ‘Call me, I’ll be waiting :)’.

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾ 

Eijiro Kirishima:

Made by: ??? (Please tell me who owns the art so i could credit them!)

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

You both met at Mcdonalds.

Kirishima was dared to ask out the 3rd person he sees from the cashier. He lost a bet.

After he saw 2 people, he gulped. “The third ones yours bro.” Kaminari teased, making Kirishima more nervous.

Then there you are, walking to an empty table with your favorite food. “Damn it, I want that one. You can go to the 4th one.” Kaminari said. “Nope. Their yours Shitty hair. Do your fucking dare so we could go back already.” Bakugo grumbled, noticeably annoyed.

Kirishima stood up and hesitantly walked to you.

You looked up and saw him looking nervously at you. “Do you need anything?” You innocently asked, looking at the good looking stranger. “Uh- uhm...”

“Take your time stranger. You can sit there if you’d like.” You said, pointing at the chair beside him. He nodded and quickly sat down, stiff. ‘What can I do? What should I do?’ He internally panicked.

“Your panicking, What’s wrong?” He looked at you. “How?- How did you know?” “You just looked distressed.” He chuckled. “Oh, sorry. My friends just made me do a dare since I lost to a bet..”

“What the dare?” You asked, quite interested on why he came to you and about the dare. He rubbed his neck. “I- have to go-......- the third person that came out from the register..” 

You looked at him confused. “You have to go...? What? I’m confused.” You said. He blushes. You are an attractive and nice person. He wants to leave but that’s unmanly. He will also not do the dare which is also unmanly.

“The dare said that.. I have to ask out the third person from the cashier..” He said clearly for you this time. You slightly blushed and gave out a giggle. “So I’m the third person?” He sheepishly nodded. “If you want to ask me out we should at least get to know each other first.” Kirishima grinned. This was working out for him.

That’s how the conversation started. The two of you finally got to know each other better. Favorite food, to favorite colors... And many more. He was slightly getting more comfortable each time.

“So... Can I ask you out now?” Kirishima asked. You nodded. “Can I have your number then?” You asked, slightly embarrassed but bold at your words. You handed him your phone and he began typing his phone number. “Here.” He gave you your phone back. 

“Ah thanks Kiri.” He perked up and blushed at the nickname. “Gotta go, My bros calling me. Bye N/n! See you at the place at Saturday.” He waved before leaving.

When Kirishima was finally back to the Bakusquad, the some gave him good comments. “I bet they said yes, You two were happily conversing with one another!” “Damnnn, I want to be you bro. So luck-yy.” “Took you long enough, You got their number right?” “Fuckin’ finally, let’s go to the dorms already.”

When Kirishima told them the important details, they congratulated him. “That’s great bro! You finally got a date.” Sero said, then he turned to Kaminari. “Pay up bro, Me and Mina won the bet.”

Kirishima didn’t seem to listen to what their talking or doing. He was excited to see you again.

#koji koda #koji koda x reader #koji koda x y/n #koji koda headcanons #rikido sato #rikido sato x reader #rikido sato x y/n #rikido sato headcanons #mezo shoji #mezo shoji x reader #mezo shoji x y/n #mezo shoji headcanons #eijiro kirishima #eijiro kirishima x reader #eijiro kirishima x y/n #eijiro kirishima headcanons #bnha #bnha x reader #bnha x y/n #bnha headcanons #mha #mha x reader #mha x y/n #mha headcanons #x reader

[rodeoxqueen]

SMELLS LIKE QUARAN-NEROKIRI SPIRIT 

Nero/Kyrie

“In quarantine, Nero and Kyrie spend time together.” 

Rodeo’s Two Pieces: 

First time writing for Nero/Kyrie. Tread lightly with my take of their dynamic. 

(I)- Dalgona Coffee and Cookies. 

Despite how everything was shut down and the grocery was found vacant of basic necessities, Nero was grateful to at least be with someone he loved the most. 

“Look, we probably need some time off from kickin’ demon ass anyways,” Nico explained, smoking a cigarette during the video chat. 

“Yeah, not like demons care about being six feet away. People don’t even do that.” Nero looked at himself in the little square in the corner of his phone. Clad in a grey hoodie, he hadn’t even bothered putting on anything over his boxers. No one had come to visit since the mandate to stay inside, what was the point? 

Nico was in her garage again, from what he could see in the camera view. Cigarettes and old cups of coffee littered her desk, warbled country music playing off-view. 

“Who knows, maybe I’ll make something to fix that. I was thinking a mask-gun, rapid-fire reloading.” 

“Artisan of Arms, huh?” Nero laughed, getting up from his bed. 

“You fuckin’ bet. Now I gotta go. Got some things to weld.” 

“See ya, Nico. Stay safe, alright?” 

“Yeah, yeah.” He gave a peace sign before pressing “end video call.” 

The video chat ended and Nero tucked his phone into his pocket. Even banter just wasn’t the same virtually. 

“Who was that? Nico?” Nero made it down the hallway to see Kyrie, bustling about getting things from the cupboards. 

“Yeah, still building stuff as usual.” 

Kyrie had been in their apartment’s kitchen, deciding to try her hand at some recipes she saw online. A bag of flour, too many bowls, and more chocolate than Nero remembered buying, all laid out on the table. 

Just when he wanted something to eat, he’d have to wait or his girlfriend would practically make enough to feed an army and be surprised when he didn’t want anymore. 

He opted for a cup of water instead. 

Nero admired her hair, how it looked when it wasn’t in a ponytail, how it sat perfectly on her shoulders. Seeing how she started to measure some ingredients, he took the hair tie on his wrist, careful fingers bringing it into a low ponytail. 

“Oh, thank you.” She commented, opening her booklet of recipes she had handwritten. Neat, slanted cursive in a smattering of blue, red, and black read out recipes for cookies, cakes, and bread. 

“You look busy, planning to make all of those?” Nero rested his chin on her shoulder, shrouding her with warmth. 

“Well, I don’t know how long we’re going to be stuck at home, might as well try some recipes out. Maybe we can deliver some to the orphanage.” 

“That is if I don’t eat all your prototypes first.” She laughed, birdsong to Nero’s ears. 

“As long as you help me I don’t mind if you do.” Kyrie handed him a measuring cup. Nero sighed, taking it. He always lost count of how many cups of flour he was supposed to put in the bowl. 

A jar of porous dough caught his eye as he sifted some baking soda in his white mixture. He took it from Kyrie’s side of the island. 

“Whoa, what is this? A science experiment?” Kyrie chuckled, watching Nero scrutinize the date on the white tape to the top of the mason jar. 

“No, it’s a sourdough starter! It’s basically wild yeast. We can make bread with it since people bought out all the dry yeast in the grocery store.” 

Nero shook it with curiosity and then opened the silver lid, making an “eh” face at the smell. 

“It’s yeast alright.” 

Kyrie continued whipping up the sugar and butter mixture, Nero helping himself to a handful of chocolate chips. 

“Have you talked to your uncle and father? They must be staying at the shop in Redgrave.” 

Nero shrugged. 

“Most likely, I haven’t talked to them yet. Dante probably didn’t pay the phone bill and Vergil doesn’t know how to use the phone anyways.” 

“Let’s just hope they’re getting along during this time.” 

Nero thought back to all the “family outings” he had since his uncle and father returned from hell, mostly just jobs becoming contests of strength that turned to friendly family fights. Endless banter and elbowing. 

Honestly, compared to that, standing next to his girlfriend while they shaped cookies for the oven was heaven. 

Once the chocolate chip cookie dough was done baking, Kyrie insisted they make some whipped coffee while they cooled.  

“I thought you didn’t like coffee, Kyrie.” She stooped down to find something in the lower cabinets. A robotic hand that was colored dark blue and black, his old Devil Bringer, appeared with a tiny whisk duct-taped to it. 

“Yeah, but that TikTok made it look so good.” Nero handed her the glass container of instant coffee. 

Turning on the Devil Bringer, the tiny whisk spun to life, rapidly mixing sugar, coffee, and water together. With her back turned, Nero popped a thing of cookie dough in his mouth. 

“Honestly, Nico should have patented these Devil Bringers, make a bunch of money, and maybe she’d stop trying to rip me off all those times.” 

“Support local businesses, Nero.” 

He looked over her shoulder, surprised at how an abysmal brown mixture had become fluffy and thrice its previous volume. 

Two cups of milk poured, the practically instantly whipped coffee laid on top like a decadent Mount Everest next to a still-warm plate of cookies. 

“Cheers!” Kyrie clinked glasses with him, stirring her mug vigorously with a spoon. He copied her, taking a sip of surprisingly light and sweet coffee. 

When he lowered his cup, Nero both revealed to the world a mustache of whipped coffee. 

Kyrie snorted into her cup, covering her mouth as she bit back a laugh. Embarrassed, Nero went to wipe it off when Kyrie pecked him on the lips. She drew back to reveal an imprint of the ‘stache on her own upper lip. 

“We match now.” Kyrie giggled, helping herself to another gooey cookie. 

Half a plate of cookies and two mugs properly drained of its contents, Kyrie and Nero loaded up the dishwasher to do the work. 

“This is coffee, why am I tired?” Kyrie yawned. 

The couch was this god-awful IKEA purchase that took hours for Nero to just figure out what the instructions meant. But right now, it perfectly supported both of them while they slept away their food coma. 

(II)- Curl Up And Dye. 

After the second time the mandate got lengthened, Nero could sense that Kyrie was starting to wane in her ever-positive attitude. The news had nothing good to say, and the number of shows they had binged left them indifferent to watching anything more. 

They did a lot of singing during quarantine, Kyrie always being the musical one. Evanescence was one of their favorites to sing together, Nero’s guitar skills and Kyrie’s ability to hit those high notes left many memorable nights of laughter. 

After a while, Kyrie began to just sit on the couch a lot and have Nero pay her company. 

“What’s wrong?” Kyrie sighed heavily, curling into Nero’s hoodie as he opted to stay shirtless. 

“I don’t know Nero, it just feels like everything is the same. We go through the same things every day and I just feel...trapped.” 

Nero kissed the nape of her neck, humming in agreement. 

“Look, I’m usually the one going to you for stuff like this but...it will get better. It’s been a really hard time for all of us, and we’re just watching everything go downhill. It’s not a good situation but, you got me. Always. And there’s still a lot of things we can change up if that helps.” He stroked her hair and rubbed her back, feeling her take a deep breath. 

“You’re right Nero. That really did help. Thank you for listening.” 

“Of course.” 

While he scrolled on his own phone, he didn’t heed all the things Kyrie was watching. She touched her own long hair, seeing the way other people recorded their own home-salon trims. 

“Things to change, huh?” She mumbled. 

So here they were now. 

“It looks so bad!” Kyrie exclaimed, her face in her hands, hair on the bathroom sink. Nero shook his head. 

“No it’s not, Kyrie! You look fine, just let me fix it!” In the mirror, Nero cringed at the way her hair was ridiculously over-layered. 

“Um, what did you try to do-” 

“Curtain bangs! Oh Nero, I shouldn’t have tried to change up my hair!” Kyrie was thoroughly upset, seeing how her bout of bravery lead to her bangs being mauled by her own hands. 

Nero hugged her, noting that she had been wearing his shirt while she trimmed her hair. 

Okay that shirt’s gonna itch for a while until all the hair comes out. 

“It’s okay, let me see if I can fix it.” Kyrie blushed in the mirror, groaning at how bad her hair was cut. 

“There’s no way you could make it worse than what I did.” 

Nero gingerly took the scissors Kyrie put in the sink, a little bit too small for his hands but good enough. Although he was no stylist, he could tell where Kyrie had either cut too much off or unevenly. 

Eventually, they did manage to cut it in a way that hid the previous mistakes. Kyrie took another deep breath. 

“I shouldn’t have been so impulsive.” She murmured, arms crossed. 

Nero chuckled at her rare emotional outburst. He was glad to have been able to be there for her. She always hid how she felt, helping others her way of expressing herself. Now with no one around but him, he totally understood that she felt helpless. 

No one liked being helpless. 

He kissed her cheek and a lightbulb went off in his head. 

“You wanna dye my hair?” Kyrie turned around in surprise. 

“What?” 

“I mean, who knows how long this shutdown is gonna be, it’ll be fun,” Kyrie noted how Nero had forgone shaving, his peach fuzz becoming something more. 

Honest blue eyes peered at her, wondering what she would think. Her surprise softened to a sort of relief in their solidarity. 

“What color, Nero?” 

“Neon green-” 

“Nico’s going to make fun of you.” Kyrie giggled. Nero shrugged nonchalantly. 

“I don’t mind it.” 

(III)- Can’t Get Out Of It, Get Into It. 

“Nero, you look so fucking ridiculous.” 

“Shut up, Dante.” 

His uncle finally managed to figure out how to work the virtual chat on his fossil of a computer, and Nero was already prepared to end the call. 

His father sat slightly off-camera, not in the mood to entertain Dante’s antics to ridicule his son. Although, he did look oddly radioactive with his washed-out green hair and strong quarter-past five o’clock shadow.  

“Quarantine did not do you a favor, good lord,” Dante commented, kicking his feet up on his desk. Nero flipped him off. 

“Good to know you’re still living in shambles, not surprised neither of you cleaned up after yourselves.” The number of bottles on the floor was a travesty and the couch littered with poetry books Vergil had slowly begun to hoard. 

Nico entered the zoom call, smoking another cigarette Nero was lucky to not have to smell. 

“Nice broccoli head.” 

Nero flipped her off as well. Kyrie came into view, smiling at her boyfriend’s family and their shared friends. Nero decided to get a drink, clicking a few buttons before letting Kyrie have the seat. 

As they discussed how the business would continue with Devil May Cry, Kyrie sat next to Nero. 

It was mainly business, until it got to a certain line that Dante said. 

“I don’t know, it just feels like things are just going to keep staying like this. Hate to break it to you Nero, but it’s going to be tough for a while.” 

Kyrie finally heard enough, scooching Nero aside so she could talk. 

“Kyrie, wait-” 

“We’re going to get past this. As long as humanity still keeps coming together for the sake of benefiting each other, and we keep working to make sure to keep safe, we will get past this. We just have to keep hoping, and sure, hoping isn’t always going to make you feel better. I would know. But in a time where we do feel helpless, we should connect with other people in a different way. That’s why we succeed, we keep moving, we keep adapting! And hope, hope keeps that going.” 

Kyrie took a long breath. Looking at the dumbfounded group, she waited for a response. 

“Um, Kyrie. You were muted.” Nero finally said. Kyrie realized her blunder and how Nero’s hand was attempting to unmute them. 

“Oh.” Kyrie flushed, looking embarrassed. 

“I have no idea what you just said, but that’s okay.” 

“I’m sorry, that was so awkward.” 

“Don’t worry yourself, Kyrie. I bet it was real sweet whatever you had to say,” Nico assured. 

The zoom call was full of laughter since, a business call turned to a time to discuss how each person was doing. 

Dante and Vergil had spent days and nights sparring, Vergil learning more about humanity from Dante, and “making their own pizzas.” 

Nico had continued welding and making weapons for her own curiosity rather than based off of commission-based instructions. The van finally had the vinyl player fixed and she apparently gave herself a stick-and-poke. 

“So what did you two love birds do?” Nico asked, lighting another cancer stick. 

Nero and Kyrie looked at each other, smiling at their shared memories of this strange period in human history. 

“Where do we even start?”  Kyrie said, thinking of all the days and nights that seemed to breeze by and also slowly progress. 

Nero ruffled his longer messy green hair, Kyrie tucking her curtain bangs behind her ear. As they were two peas in the pod, Nero had decided to get another set of gray sweats for Kyrie, matching finally. 

Kyrie bit into a cookie, offering Nero some. 

“Smells like quarantine spirit, huh?” Dante finger-gunned.

Nero chuckled. 

“Hell yeah.” 

#nirvana and dominic fike reference? #nirvana and dominic fike reference #not much vergil in this work i do not care for the man today #nero x kyrie #nerokiri #devil may cry #devil may cry fanfiction #nero sparda #kyrie #dmc kyrie #dante sparda #vergil sparda #nicoletta goldstein

[hand-painted-5tars]

Cooking with mom its so exhausting.

She spend 10 minutes acolding me bcs i got dad a bottle of wine with my own money for his birthday bcs she refused when i asked her if i could get it while we were doing the groceries. And threw. Fucking fit bcs we are baking his cake today and we didnt have sugar ofc we had started preparing the ingredients wehad already started and i was like "i can go, theres a conv. Store 8 mins from here" i offered to go t noon under like 40°c and the fucking burning sun despite my shoulders hurting from carrying the groceries.

And she still felt the need to throw whatever frustration she had carried all day, she decided to dump it all on me called me a liar and send me to buy sugar .

.....................

For fucks say im not wven that awful of a daughter wtf i did NOTHING

#eant #rant

[stayrohazen777]

Somebody Like

Yoon Sanha one-shot

(This is definitely not a short one)

Very slight angst and so much fluff

Warnings: Possible mentions of anxiety/ Cursing 

“You’re staying here for summer break right?” Your mom asked excitedly 

“Yes I wanna spend time with you guys and plus i’ll get bored staying in the dorm alone without Lia” You told her

“Yay” She clapped her hands 

“I’m gonna make some coffee so you want a cup?”

“Stay here i’ll make you a cup” She told you smiling

“Are you kidding me right now?” You noticed the boy working in  the shop right in front of your parents’ house 

“Whats going on?” Your mom asked you as she gave you a cup of coffee

“Oh nothing I was just checking out the new shop” 

“And maybe the boy in there as well” She cleared her throat before leaving

“Out of all the places he chose to work here? really?” You sighed 

Your phone was ringing on the table 

“Hi” You said dully 

“I can tell you enjoy talking to me” Chan said sarcastically 

“What’s up?”

“I wanted to check up on, you can’t I do that as your best friend?” He said 

“Oh I’m okay”

“Just okay?” He asked  worriedly

“Chan I’m good don’t worry”

“Okay”

“On a different note someone suddenly started working at the shop in front of my parent’s house” You told him 

“Who?” He asked 

“Yoon Sanha” You said clearly disheartened at the fact that you’ll see often from now on 

“Oh right Hyunjin told us to go buy stuff from there so that he does well but i didn’t know he was working there” Chris said 

“I literally thought i was finally okay with everything but not anymore now that I will be seeing him everyday”

“It’s okay bub even if your feelings hinder it’s okay”

“I don’t know about that Chan”

“Why?”

“Because last time my feelings caused so much problems with my friends and it caused me to lose my friendship with him kinda”

“Those weren’t your friends Y/N”

“I don’t want to get into this talk now but for now i’m gonna stay away from the store” You said trying to stay in a somehow good mood

“I got to go now but if you need anything i am a call away” He said 

“Okay I love you chris”

“I love you too bub” He hung up 

“Hey Y/N?” Your dad called for you 

“Yes dad” You got up from the balcony heading towards the kitchen 

“Can you head to the grocery shop down the road to get me some ingredients?” 

Oh fuck. So much for staying away from the store

“Uh- Why?” You tried asking 

“What kind of question is that?’ Your father laughed 

“I mean like what are you gonna be making?” You questioned 

“I want to make carbonara but we don’t have the ingredients”

“I see” You stared at the ceiling 

“Y/N” He waved his hand in front of your face 

“O-oh right grocery store” You stuttered 

You tried pulling yourself together 

Crossing the street with a nervous sigh you made it to the shop

“Welco-” There he was after months of not seeing him and not feeling anything for him, your friend that you rarely talked to but still somehow had feelings for, for over 2 years 

“Y/N?” He questioned looking at you

“H-hi?” You mentally face palmed 

“It’s been a while how are you?” He asked with his gorgeous smile making your stomach flip 

“I’ve been good, You?” You replied sounding normal to him but clearly you’re not 

“I’m good, do you need help with anything?” He asked getting back to his work mood 

“No it’s fine I just need to pick up some things.” You said trying to leave the counter 

“Okay well if you need anything just call for me” He smiled again 

“Will do” You smiled back 

 “He literally just smiled? There is no reason for you to be like this” You scolded yourself as you leaned against the shelf filled with snacks 

“Are you sure you don’t need help?” He came from the counter 

“fuc- You scared me” You said trying to seem as if you weren’t just talking to yourself and about him to be exact 

“Sorry I just saw you looking confused so I thought maybe you need help?” He said 

“It’s fine I’ve been here plenty of times” You stated heading towards the cheese section

“Oh you have?” He asked curiously 

“Yeah I come here mostly because of my parents but also i must admit there’s a nice selection of snacks here”

“You live near by i’m guessing?” 

“Yes actually right across the str-” You realized that you blew your cover 

Your phone vibrated in your pocket making you sigh out of relief 

“Yes dad?” 

“I forgot to write down pasta”

“Were you really gonna make Carbonara without pasta dad” You deadpanned 

Sanha chuckled at your comment 

After the phone call you finished picking up everything you needed and went to the counter and paid trying to avoid eye contact 

“Do you need help carrying them?” Sanha asked looking at the bags you need to carry 

“It’s okay I’ll manage” You smiled 

“Thank you though” You told him carrying the bags

“i hope to see you again” He smiled excitedly 

“You probably will” You laughed exiting the store 

You found yourself staring down at the shop every time you sat on the balcony or actually every time you were outside 

You couldn’t help but be in awe at the boy greeting all his customers with smiles no matter how tired or upset he was 

“Y/N we are having people over can you get us some snacks?” Your mom asked 

“Sure” You smiled 

“Hello” You said to the boy sitting at the counter watching a video laughing

“Y/N Hi!” He brightened upon your arrival 

You two ended up talking as you put the snacks in your cart 

“Its been a long time since we talked like this” You said smiling 

Sanha nodded at your words 

“Actually Y/N can i get your-” The door opened to another customer 

“Welcome” Sanha went back to the counter not forgetting to throw you a smile 

“Okay i’m done” You told him putting the armful of snack on the counter 

“I think you need help with those” Sanha laughed 

“Maybe” 

He helped you take the bags back home which means he knows that you’re just across the street and maybe you didn’t mind him knowing

“Thank you so much and sorry for the bother” 

“Its okay youre not a bother at all” He smiled at you before continuing 

“Hey Y/N can i have your number? I think I lost it after I changed my phone” He said shyly 

“yeah of course”

and to his surprise the next few days he couldn’t help but look up at the balcony across the road every little while, wishing that  you’ll be there 

A couple of days later you found yourself at Chan’s house with your other friend and roommate Lia

“So you’re telling me Yoon Sanha is working at the shop across from you, and he asked for your number and he has been texting you?” Lia asked shocked 

“Yes that happened after I went to the store a couple of times and we had short conversations”

“And to say that you were gonna stay away from that store” Chan clicked his tongue

“Shut up you know I can’t say no to my parents”

“And to Yoon Sanha apparently” He looked everywhere but at you 

“But Y/N are you okay?” Lia asked you 

“Yeah why?” You looked at her 

“Because of what happened before”

“I am over that”

“Yeah but are you over him?” Chan asked 

You stayed silent for a while

“A part of me hates the fact that I still like him, i am scared more people will tell me to give up because i’m not his type and that he won’t ever like someone like me that’s struggling with anxiety and attacks often I am scared i might go back to where i was before when i just hated every inch of myself but i can’t help it. He’s so goddamn sweet in every way possible that I can’t help it”

“Y/N those people made you hate yourself for no reason they made you think you weren’t enough but trust me now they can’t. They are gone for good. You have us and we’re gonna support you through everything” Chan said rubbing your back 

Your phone vibrated in your hand 

“He’s calling” You said furrowing your brows 

“How about you answer” Chan pushed you towards the balcony

“Hello?” 

“Y/N?”

“Yes it’s me”

You heard him  sniffing through the phone 

“Sanha?”

“Yes?”

“Are you crying?” 

“Uh-no?”

“Liar”

“Actually can you come by?” He asked lowly 

“Yeah i’ll be there in 10″

“Guys I have to leave I’ll text you later” You waved and left 

“Hey are you okay?” You went over to him 

He looked up with red eyes and a red nose 

“Oh no” You rushed to the counter and sat beside him 

“What’s wr-” At that moment the part timer that was taking over after Sanha’s shift came 

“Let’s go” You grabbed his hand 

“What’s up?” You stood in front of him while he sat at the swing 

“Sanha” You said sternly but you were worried about the silent boy 

He looked at you with glassy eyes before he pulled you into a hug his head resting on your stomach and that was the last straw for him as he sobbed into your arms and you pat his back slowly 

“You can tell me whenever you’re comfortable” You told him running your fingers through his hair 

“I fought with my parents today It was a very big fight, I didn’t do well in both my work and my exams for the summer semester I just feel like a useless son. I don’t know how to do anything right. I feel horrible” He rambled 

“Sanha look at me” You crouched down holding his face in your hands 

“You are more than enough, You’re not useless and you are an amazing son. The fight with your parents took a toll on you and you had a bad day, that’s completely okay and your feelings are valid. Things will get better trust me love. I know that it’s hard right now but all it takes is a little courage to make everything better. Tomorrow apologize to your parents if you think it’s the best choice and do what makes you comfortable. I don’t want you to ever think that you’re useless okay? You’re amazing” You told him looking into his eyes 

He smiled at you softly before putting a hair strand behind your ear 

“Thank you” He told you standing up and bringing you into another hug 

“You’re always welcome” You told him wrapping your hands around his waist 

Everything was normal for a while

Sanha still texted you often 

Your heart continued fluttering 

The only thing you stopped doing is going to the store solely because you didn’t have to or because you were too scared that you might spill your feelings to him seeing that you were getting too excited 

But of course your luck was in place seeing your dad come to you with a paper in hand and a mischievous smile on his face 

“On it” You sighed 

“Hell-” You stopped midway seeing the person in front of the counter t

“Y/N?” 

“Lucy Hi” You said with a straight face 

“Long time no see” She gave you a fake smile 

“Yeah and it would’ve been better to keep it that way” You muttered under your breath

“I missed you” Someone came from the aisle pulling you into a short hug 

“I missed you too Sanha” You gave him a smile slowly turning it back to a frown seeing the girl in front of you 

“You two are dating?” She raised her brows 

“No” You both replied 

“But even if we were it’s none of your business” You said going past her into the drinks aisle 

Soon enough the tall boy came to where you were 

“Why were you acting like that?” He asked with a pout 

“Because she is someone I dislike wholeheartedly” You told him 

“But still she’s our friend ”

“Your friend but not mine anymore” You said 

“She’s nice though?”He told you 

“Go to her then” You told him clicking your tongue leaving him

“What’s wrong with you?” He asked more seriously 

“Nothing Sanha she just triggered me” You said loudly 

“Why would she? She didn’t say anything” 

“You don’t know what she did”

“Then tell me” He let out a breath of frustration 

“My dad is waiting for me” You left with the bags in your hand 

“Answer the phone goddamn it” Sanha whispered under his breath 

Customer after customer they came in but none of them were you

He wanted to see you and clear the air between you two 

“Oh for fucks-” He was getting frustrated 

“Hello?” You picked up 

“Y/N”

“What?” You asked

“We need to talk” He said sternly 

“Now?”

“Yes now and if you don’t show up i’ll go to your house”

“I’m coming but calm the fuck down” You told him 

The door opened to you wearing comfortable clothing which made him hold back a smile at how cute you looked 

He said his goodbye to his co-worker and dragged you to the park 

“Why haven’t you been answering my texts?” He asked crossing his arms together 

You couldn’t seem to find an answer knowing well enough that this isn’t his fault 

He didn’t know about your past with her just yet 

“I am sorry seeing her that day triggered me” You apologised 

“Is it okay if you tell me why?” He asked you 

“She brought me down. Always did. Whenever I would talk to her about the guy I liked or anything for that matter she would bring me down, put the blame on me, say i’m toxic and messed up. She caused me to change and become distant with one person I loved with all my heart because she told me I wasn’t enough and I would just make him pity me” You looked at the floor 

You could see him bring his hand into a fist 

“She did that?” 

You just nodded feeling your eyes water 

“Look at me”

“Y/N please?” You couldn’t do it 

“Y/N” He said seriously holding your face i his hands 

“First of all the things she said were never true. I always thought you were amazing and kind to everyone around you not only that but you’re beautiful too. She’s a horrible person for doing that to you. You’re more than enough love. You’re so strong for getting up after what she said and I’m so proud of you. Regarding that uh- guy--” He stopped clearing his throat frowning

“I don’t know who he is or if you still like him but if he did think of you the way she did then that’s on him. You’re so beyond amazing and if he fails to see that or he pities you for being who you are then it’s his fault and he’s an asshole” He continued, looking into your eyes 

You smiled at him 

“Now I know he was not like that and he won’t ever be because he’s the sweetest most precious person I know” You looked at him 

“So--”

“And I still like him alot actually”

“Are you rubbing it in my face?” He asked clearly upset 

“No why would I when it’s you” You told him

“Oh it’s--” He looked shocked 

after a while he came back to his senses 

“Can I kiss you?” He asked shyly 

You nodded putting your hands on his waist as he brought his lips to yours bringing all butterflies to your stomach and your heart to a fast beat

He pulled away with a smirk 

“Sweetest most precious?” He teased you 

“Oh shut it”

“Y/N” 

“no shut up”

“I like you, I like you so much” He said 

You choked on your own spit as you flushed red 

“I like you too” You said 

He pulled you into his arms 

“So what do you say to a date tomorrow?” 

“I say let’s do it” You hugged him tighter

“Boo!” You scared him 

Seeing him flinch made you laugh but you stopped seeing the pout on his face 

“What were you thinking about so deeply?” 

“You” He smiled once he saw you blush 

“Cheesy” You slapped his chest 

The waiter came to take your order but it was uncomfortable as he was staring at you quite a lot 

“That would be all” Sanha glared at him

Later on he came to bring your drink to the edge of where you were standing and he earned another glare from Sanha 

“Will he stop fucking staring?” Sanha said pissed 

“Are you perhaps jealous?” You teased 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be? Look at how gorgeous you are and he keeps looking at you when it’s obvious i’m with you” He said anger filling his tone

You blushed nevertheless 

You held his hand

“I will only look at you remember that Sanha” You said as you walked out of the coffee shop walking towards the park 

“Y/N” He called you stopping in his tracks

“Yes?” 

He brushed the hair out of your face smiling at how beautiful you looked 

“I’m in love with you” He said smiling

“I’ve been in love with you” You told him 

He brought you into a tight embrace later pulling away to admire you more

“You’re unreal, How did I get so lucky?” He said before closing the gap kissing you softly with all love 

Thank you for reading!

#astro #yoonsanha #sanha fluff #sanha #fanfcition #moonbin #rocky #eunwoo #jinjin #mj #mjamie #parkjinwoo #parkminhyuck #myungjun #cha eunwoo #park jinwoo #park minhyuck #fluff #Fanfiction #astro fanfic #kpop #fantagio #ddana

[particularemu]

The Cupcake Dilemma | A Kim Seungmin Scenario

Word Count: 1985

Type: Fluff

Warnings: None really… I guess cursing if that bothers you?

Prompts: 43 (Frost the damn cupcakes.) and 51 (I’m your husband. It’s my job.)

Author’s Note: Everybody’s been soft over family stray kids, so I added a son into the mix. 

Send in a number!

You sighed, yet again, as you scrolled through the endless photos Snapchat had to offer you that night. There were plenty of golden images of Minho with the cat filter and Chan with the giant nose filter. Hyunjin had some pretty selfies of him with that heart filter — god he always looks good. You couldn’t help but laugh when you reached Jisung’s.

The boy sent you a picture of his wide eyes — a picture that reminded you of a psychopath ready to claim his next victim — with large bolded text that read “DON’T YOU DARE FUCK UP OUR 895 DAY STREAK” 

You quickly pointed your camera at your feet, snapping a picture of your award-winning giraffe socks that Seungmin gifted you for Mother’s day, and sending it to Jisung. There was no way you were letting that streak go. It had to be one of the biggest accomplishments of your life. 

Well… Marrying your best friend and having a son with him was probably your best accomplishment. But this Snapchat streak was a close second. Come on, you and Jisung were going on 3 years with that streak! 

Sure you cut it close — with it being 11:45 PM and all — but you kept the streak up anyway! 

Speaking of... 

You couldn’t shake the feeling that you were forgetting something. Oh well! You get that feeling an awful lot and frankly — you’re usually forgetting something that isn’t important. Being a mom does that to you. 

The important things are taken care of. Your son’s presents are wrapped and hidden in the closet, you have the ingredients for his favorite meal for dinner, and you’ve… not prepared the cupcakes for his class tomorrow. 

Oh shit! 

That’s what you were supposed to be doing! 

Panic bubbled in your chest as you darted to the kitchen, quickly cracking eggs and pouring oil into the Kitchen Aid bowl before pouring in the 3 boxes of cake mix. You turned on the mixer and preheated the oven, thanking the gods that you somehow remembered.

Sure it’d be a long night, but you were still going to be able to give your son the joy of handing out cupcakes to his class. 

Ever since that snobby rich kid in his class brought in homemade cupcakes from his mom, who owns a fucking bakery you might add, your son has been wanting YOU to make homemade cupcakes for him to bring on his birthday. 

Of course you agreed and told your son you’d bake some cupcakes, not thinking about the fact that you were no baker. He’ll have to settle for box cake mix. He probably wouldn’t know the difference anyway. 

Once the batter was all mixed, you poured the cake mix into cupcake wrappers, until you filled all the muffin pans you owned — which is a surprising number considering Seungmin’s mom bought you one for a housewarming gift, your mom bought you one as a birthday gift, AND your son picked one for you for Mother’s Day.  

Oh yeah… you also bought one because you forgot about other 3 sitting at home. 

All those pans came in handy. You managed to fit all four into the oven, which was AMAZING because that meant you didn’t have to stay up until 3 AM waiting for all those damn cakes to bake. 

You scrolled through your phone a bit while the cupcakes baked, sending odd pictures to whoever was awake. Thank god Hyunjin and Jisung have HORRIBLE sleeping habits, or you’re sure you would have fallen asleep to let the cupcakes burn. 

Once your timer went off, you pulled the cupcakes out of the oven and set them on a platter to cool. 

The hard part was done. Now all you have to do is wait. Perhaps it’d be a good time to get in a cat nap? After all, you can’t do anything until the cakes are cool. 

You stretched your body out on the couch, resting your head on one of the throw pillows as you set an alarm for 5 AM. An hour should be enough time to frost the cupcakes. If not, then oh well. You tried. 

Tiredness took over your body as you sunk into the couch cushions, sleep taking over almost instantly. 

-----

Seungmin couldn’t help the sigh that escaped his lips as he woke up, yet again, at 4 AM for no apparent reason. This wasn’t the first night this happened, no… this has been going on for about a month — ever since you started staying up later. 

Perhaps he had a sixth sense when it came to you? 

Who knows… 

Seungmin reached over to your side of the bed, feeling a bit disappointed when his hand came in contact with the cold sheets. You didn’t come to bed last night. 

He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. You’ve been staying up later, you seem tired all the time, and he felt like he didn’t get to see you as often. Perhaps you were stressed out from work? Or maybe he did something wrong?

Seungmin rubbed his eyes as he sat up. He might as well go and check on you. Besides… something smells good in the kitchen and it’s making him want to snack.

Seungmin walked out into the living room, eyes widening when he saw the cupcakes in the kitchen. Why the hell were you baking cupcakes at 4 AM? He knew it was his son’s birthday today, but he didn’t see why you needed to make cupcakes this early. 

“Baby?” Seungmin shook your shoulder lightly. “Baby? Why are you sleeping out here? You should go to bed.” His thumb rubbed your arm as you started to wake up. 

Your hands reached out to rub your eyes as you smiled — missing your husband’s gentle touches, but wait… What time is it?

You shot up from the couch, frantically grabbing your phone to check the time. Oh thank god! It was only 4:15 AM. You still had time to frost the cupcakes. 

“Woah, woah, woah. Everything’s okay!” Seungmin wrapped his arms around you. “What’s going on?” 

“No time to talk. I have to frost the cupcakes.” You shot up from the couch, before grabbing a butter knife in the kitchen. 

“Hold on love.” Seungmin chuckled, “Why do you need to finish the cupcakes now? He won’t be eating them until after dinner right?”

“Do you remember that asshole kid with the baker mother?” You yawned. 

Seungmin laughed at your saltiness. “Of course.” 

“Well our son wanted me to make cupcakes to take in to his class.” You explained, frosting the cupcake in your hands.

“Why not buy them from the grocery store?” Seungmin asked as he leaned on the countertop. 

He couldn’t help but wonder why you were so worked up over these cupcakes. Surely his son wouldn’t mind you grabbing some — no offense — prettier cupcakes from a bakery, or from the grocery store down the street. 

“Because.” You put the… rather unique… looking cupcake into a container. “Asshole kid brought in homemade cupcakes.” 

Seungmin couldn’t help but laugh. “Fuck that asshole kid.” 

“Right?” You glided the knife over another cupcake, globbing frosting on the top. “Why couldn’t he bring in store bought cupcakes like everyone else?” 

“You know…” Seungmin grabbed a cupcake and bit into it. “It’s not going to be that big of a deal if you buy cupcakes from the store. If we do it now and pack them in those containers, he won’t know the difference.” 

“Asshole quit eating the cupcakes.” You smacked his arm, making him giggle. “And no. I’m not going to be that mom.”

“What mom?” Seungmin took another large bite of the cupcake in his hands. 

“The mom who buys cupcakes from the grocery store when her son asks for homemade cupcakes.” You glared at your husband. “I’m not going to let this be the reason our son resents us later in life and turns to a life of pimping and selling prostitutes.” 

Seungmin let out a loud snort at your comment, hand darting in front of his mouth to keep what was left of the chocolate cupcake in his mouth so it wouldn’t fly across the kitchen. “If this sends him down that road I think we have bigger problems.” 

“Just shut up and frost the damn cupcakes.” You chuckled, tossing an unfrosted cupcake in his direction. 

“Okay okay! Just quit waving that knife around.” Seungmin grabbed another butter knife and started frosting cupcakes alongside you. 

The two of you frosted in silence for a while, simply enjoying each other’s presence as you globbed frosting on the chocolate cupcakes. Although they didn’t look the prettiest, they were still homemade, and you felt like you deserved brownie points for that. 

Seungmin broke the silence after a while. “You know… He’s not going to hate you if you go buy cupcakes.” 

“But he requested these ones.” You mumbled. “He doesn’t ask for much, and this is his birthday!” You couldn’t help but sigh. “I just want his birthday to be special.” 

Seungmin smiled softly. “It will be. Especially when you’re going through all this trouble to make these.” 

“I know I should have made them yesterday, but I got so busy.” You sighed. “I had to re-teach him how to divide fractions, because his teacher fucking sucks. But first I had to re-learn how to divide fractions because apparently the education system can’t teach kids how to divide fractions the way they did when we were in school.” 

You put another cupcake into the container, pausing to rub at your eyes. “Then I had to go to work and deal with Shelly’s high-pitched bullshit, then come home and teach our son how to do his homework AGAIN.” Another sigh escaped your lips. “I just got overwhelmed.” 

“You know what would have made it easier?” Seungmin shoved the knife in the frosting. “If you relied on me more.” 

You knew this was coming. It was true, you did have a bad habit of just handling everything yourself because it was easier. You had a routine! You get your son up, make him breakfast, make him lunch, double-check his homework, take him to school, go to work, pick him up from school, help him with homework, make dinner for your family, play with your son before he has to go to bed, tuck him into bed, then use what little energy you have left to drag yourself into bed. 

Wow… Maybe he was right. 

“It’s just easier if I handle it myself.” You mumbled. “You’re busy and —” 

“Don’t act like you aren’t busy too.” Seungmin cut you off. “Look, I know my job is pretty demanding, but I can help out. He’s my son too. There’s no reason for you to do everything.” 

You smiled at him as you drowned another cupcake in frosting. “Why are you so amazing?”

Seungmin couldn’t help but laugh at the sad ensemble of cupcakes in front of you two. “You probably won’t think I’m amazing after hearing this, but these cupcakes look like shit.” 

You glanced at the mess of frosting and decided to admit defeat. “Okay fine, let’s go to the bakery and get some cupcakes. It’s 5 AM, I think they’re open now.” 

Seungmin kissed you on the forehead. “I’ll go get them. You go get some sleep.” 

“What? I don’t mind going with you.” You pulled your shoes on and grabbed your jacket. 

“No.” Seungmin yanked your jacket from your hands and threw it back on the coat rack. “You need to go get some sleep. And call in sick today, you don’t need to deal with Shelly’s bullshit running on 2 hours of sleep.” He chuckled. 

You smiled. “You take such good care of me.” 

Seungmin laughed. “I’m your husband. It’s my job.” 

“Now go get those cupcakes before our demon spawn wakes up.” 

#stray kids scenario #stray kids scenarios #stray kids fanfiction #stray kids fanfictions #stray kids writers guild #skz scenario #skz fluff #stray kids fluff #skz scenarios #stray kids #skz #skz fanfiction #skz fanfictions #stray kids x reader #reader x stray kids #skz x reader #reader x skz #stray kids x you #you x stray kids #kpop scenarios #kpop scenario #kpop #kpop fanfiction #kim seungmin #seungmin #kim seungmin x you #you x kim seungmin #kim seungmin x reader #reader x kim seungmin #seungmin x you

[anyu-blue]

~

I'm just venting here cuz I don't have anyone to really vent to right now.

I know I'm being 'too much' and 'over the top' again... I know I'm throwing a hissy fit I don't need to, and I recognize I'm hurting at least one person with it.

But God damn I'm pissed and I guess I want to be pissed.

There's so much I want to do and so much I feel obligated to do and more... A lot of what I want to do... I just don't have the energy for. I wanted to make all these custom cards for my family since I should be able to ship stuff out this week... But I pulled Everything out and found... I just really didn't want to put that effort in..I mean I REALLY do... But just... Everything was turning out terrible. I'm honestly shocked I managed the 14 for my ex's family for Christmas... I want to do it... But at the same time I don't.

Cuz what's the point? All that effort.. all that care.. when I could just buy them a stupid card instead. So I'll go buy them a card... Because my eldest and younger sister decided to head to the grocery store without me and now I have to steal the car right when I'm off work to do my own necessary shopping anyway (or risk not being able to go at all this week). All because they were nearly out of toilet paper and Tevie wanted to get me cash for her car insurance bill...

Now I wouldn't be so mad except... They didn't even ask if I had extra toilet paper in my bathroom, which I do. AND I told Tevie that she didn't have to worry- I have enough to cover the insurance for her car.

But no. She just HAD to go today so I could have the money by tomorrow when it pulls!!! Um... Tomorrow (technically today, now) is SUNDAY. How the FUCK am I supposed to deposit the $ into my account like she wants when it's a freaking Sunday?! Or or at all when uh.. she has the car until like... 7pm every day anyway?!

Uuuugh... I already told her too, I'm not depositing Anything unless I absolutely need to either. Which I don't cuz I just got paid. AND I told her her insurance will be a part of what she pays me (if she does) for all her other bills!! If I got it I got it. What part of that is so hard to understand?

Apparently all of it...

Or none of it, but it doesn't matter because she doesn't pay attention to stuff like that anyway. Literally just does whatever she wants.. and you know what? I know that's absolutely fine. Sure it inconveniences me because, well, I needed to go to the store too (and told her as such), and had nothing for dinner while they fed themselves again (didn't even ask me AND used a service I have/can get free stuff with if they use my account like I've asked EVERY SINGLE TIME we've EVER used it!!!). (Why did I EVER cook and feed them so much? I was 100% right in that they have no interest in doing the same. They BARELY cook for themselves!! And you can probably already guess what I'm going to say about it... It's all JUNK!!! Cheeto mac and cheese, ramen, air fried chicken and fries, microwaved meals- you should see our pantry right now. Almost entirely instant meals and it makes me want to vomit. What's not instant is the stuff I picked out/ingredients that have just sat since I stopped cooking.. you should see our FRIDGE right now!! Not a vegetable or fruit in sight!! It's all warm fruit cups for Tevie and idek what W0lfie eats to get her vitamins and nutrients- cuz the vitamins I bought haven't been touched except for by me, Though I told them it would be a good idea of they took some each week too.. I'd wager she doesn't!! And that's partly why she's so gd MISERABLE all the time!! She doesn't take care of herself!!)

But in reality it's whatever. Technically Tevie did nothing wrong. She's just living her life how she wants to live it. Who cares about wasting more gas? Apparently not Tevie even though she told me she did... Apparently that's out the window. Who cares about my needs? Apparently not Tevie Though I've been fighting with our property managers and walking her through every gd adulting problem she has (I'm even supposed to help her with her taxes AGAIN cuz she can't do it) and taking care of the house and all the paperwork and all the phonecalls and everything... So it's not like I've been looking out for her and our little sister at all 🙄 or thinking of them and trying to make THEIR lives easier or nothing.

They don't owe me anything obviously... Not even the requests I made of them to do particular adulting tasks on their own (like put in a simple maintenance request, or cover up the open window downstairs, or even buy the materials so I could take care of that stupid problem better than I already have with the shit we had on hand).... It's up to them if they want to follow through. And they don't. Like ever. Because it'll just be done by me because I actually DO care about how much our power bill is.. Tevie sait she does and then pulls that shit. W0lfie says she does and then pulls the shit like letting her room get ULTRA cold- which guess what happens when she opens her door for the day? You guessed it. The temp of the house goes down and the heat/furnace churns and chugs to make up for it.

I'm so FUCKING DONE.. but guess what? I CAN'T be. I'm not even supposed to be pissed about this stuff!! I'm the bad guy!! Because I'm mad!! Because I can't just let it go or deal with it quietly. Or not be a bother.

GOD DAMN IT I AM SO SICK OF BEING/GOING QUIETLY

I HAVE BEEN QUIET AND CALM AND SWEET AND WORKED MY ASS OFF IN THE WAYS I CAN FOR SO FUCKING LONG

I AM THE REASON THEY HAVE THE SHIT THEY DO!! THE ROOF OVER THEIR HEADS, TEVIE'S CAR, LOWER BILLS (not just because I pay my part, but because I literally put in all the work to make sure stuff is taken care of and that I don't use excess/as much as I want or need sometimes), PAID BILLS (EVERYTHING comes out of my account. I've asked Tevie to do it. Several times. To set it up or to even just pay it once or twice... Has she ever? No. Not even when I showed her how and offered to write it all down for the future- and still she comes back at me like 'well you put them in your name' like, bitch... The water bill HAD to be in my name because at the time they only set it up in person!! Doesn't mean you can't pay it!! All the information is RIGHT THERE!!! You have my permission!!! In fact I've ASKED you to!! And the internet- we switched it to my name so it would lower AND give us a better speed!! And autopay gives us a discount anyway- Something YOU approved of!! And GUESS WHAT? The power ISN'T in my name!! It's in yours!!! Why on EARTH do you still expect me to pay it every single time?! It's not even on autopay!!! And the car insurance.. well SORRY if you have a wreck on your record that would make the premium double or triple what it is now!!! I did that for you!! I even called and asked and compared and did EVERYTHING FOR YOU YOU WOULDN'T/COULDN'T!!! And the cellphones are in my name because years ago when we GOT the plan you didn't have a credit score which was REQUIRED... Guess who did?! ME!! So guess who did all that and set up autopay so we wouldn't get charged $20 more a month?! It's not like we COULDN'T change these things, YOU just DON'T want to deal with it OR you want those discounts and agreed to it in the first place- so your 'well they're all you're responsibility Because they're in your name' is BULLSHIT), EXTRA MONEY EVERY MONTH, EVEN TEVIE'S BANK ACCOUNT, EVERY DOCTOR/DENTIST/SPECIALIST SHE HAS EVER SEEN AFTER OUR MOTHER WAS KICKED TO THE CURB... Even W0lfie is not exempt... Because what I don't do for her, she goes to her mom to take care of. And she's told me things and I've had to ask why she hasn't taken care of it. Well. She either doesn't know how (and in some instances refused to learn cuz it happens again), or was just going to suffer through it because she assumed that was what was right (without asking anyone or even GOOGLING the information)... Gods... Half my 'knowledge' comes from google and checking at least two or three sights and sources before I act... I feel like I'm the only one in my house who has that skill despite the top-notch cellphones and computers and shit laying around everywhere. Despite my little sister literally building her computer... Can't adult life at ALL...

And I just... I just...

I'm so mad and upset.

I want to have the carefree lives they have some days... But then I realize someone wild have to be doing all the shit I do for them for me... And then I get depressed Because literally no one would or will. Even Lon didn't... He took care of his bills sure... But everything else? Well.. unless I asked him to step up, he never would.. and he to never would more than the day I asked. Another red flag I shouldn't have let slide...

No matter how sick I get. No matter how crazy I go... It's still all up to me. I don't have people I can go to to ask to do these things and know they will... I have tos er Everything up and do all the work or it never happens. Especially not more than once.

I hate nagging... And I'm just the bad guy if I try anyway.

Idk what the point even is anymore. I hate my life.

I want so badly to love it and be happy to be around... But I just want to disappear and see what happens when that happens. Would they step up? I mean they'd HAVE to and then I'd be the bad guy again... But ugh...

None of this is easy. None of this is easy especially when all alone.

Few people reach out to me... The ones that do are just as overburdened as I am and can barely talk too because they're so busy... But we try...

I appreciate every one of them/you and I feel awful I'm so drained I can barely say thank you or reply.

I know what it's like... I do... Maybe I don't 100% know the specifics of the reasons behind what you're feeling, but I can feel it with you.

I'm trying. I'm angry. I'm tired... But I'm trying my best.

#personal #random #ignore me #life in general #negative #home stuff #venting

[homesoutofhuman]

Hannibal x reader - Scarlet

I shouldn’t be writing anything new without finishing all my WIPs but here we are, this just came out

Warnings: Dark af, d/s vibes, smut and sexual thoughts, brief mention of blood.

Summary: You’re seeing a psychiatrist, Dr Lecter for your issues with sex, loneliness and hyperfixatons. Will he be your cure, or have you just met the man who will only make things worse?

He eats you up. This man this...force of nature that is Hannibal. You never thought real life people could be so interesting. Most people aren’t, but him? He’s cultured, he knows about wine, food, classical music, classic literature...fuck...even listing it makes you horny. Rather a large problem then that he intimidates you so, that you feel like a complete idiot around him. That he makes you clumsy, stutter, lost for words. That he’s your fucking therapist.

Forbidden, you see and all the more tempting for it. Like the ripest apple just out of reach. And yes you’re comparing yourself to Eve, although Jezebel is more fitting. Hannibal is no Adam. Some days he’s the devil (your devil), other times he’s an angel, or how you picture angels anyway. Tall and big and terrifying. Awe inspiring even. Makes you cross yourself before you enter his office, makes you cross your legs when you hold his gaze just a little too long.

You never wanted to be so wholly consumed before. Your obsession (for that is what it is) is serious. You want to lie down on the floor and just let him...what do you want? For him to walk on you? Crush you? Or just lay down and cover you with his body, let you no longer feel, or see, or speak, just the sweet blackness of oblivion, just so you don’t have to feel this painful want anymore.

“I want you inside me” you tell him one day and see the flash of surprise in his eyes before the mask descends. What you wouldn’t give to see it fall completely, see him weakened by desire, made wordless with sensation- moaning as you touch his skin, proving he’s human after all.

“What you think you want and what you actually need are two different things” he replies, glancing down at his notepad a few moments too long. Your gaze falls to where his fingers grasp his pen, knuckles turning white, the pads of his fingers slipping over the nib.

“Explain.” you say shortly,

“You’ve found a confidant in me…” Hannibal continues, smoother now that he’s back on his psychiatrist track. “A connection, a kinship. Your instincts are sexual because you want to control this relationship. But I’m telling you, you can’t.”

“How does turning things sexual mean I’m in control?” you tilt your chin up as a clue, you want to submit to him more than anything.

Hannibal’s eyes follow to curve of your neck. “I would show myself to you- naked and vulnerable. I would lose my position of trust, of detachment. It would be an abuse of power. “ His tone is calm, steady, but he almost sounds like he’s considering the idea.

Leaning forward,  “How about if I promise to let you take control? Just as we are here, I’ll still be your patient, I’ll follow where you lead.”

He sighs, a deep, shuddering noise. You feel the warm caress of his breath on your face. “I want to help you more than I want to….possess you.”

“It hurts Hannibal, it’s all empty and I can’t get out…” you gesture, words failing you.

Hannibal frowns, a doctor after all cannot ignore someone is pain. “I have an assignment for you. Go without sex for a week, do not touch yourself, no dirty thoughts, no porn, no...erotic literature, until you see me again, think you can do that?”

Smiling, you tilt your head, an attempt at flirting. “Probably not.”

He leans forward then, fixing you with a stern, dark gaze. “You will do it (Y/N). Send me updates, you have my number. If you’re feeling desperate I want you to identify it. We’ll use a code word- scarlet, let’s say…if you use that word I’ll know you’ve failed your task. That you’re thinking...about sex.”

It’s the hardest week of your life, but in searching for things to fill the void you are productive - taking on extra tasks at work, meeting friends. It’s the evenings that are hardest, when you’re alone and your thoughts stray to Hannibal - craving to immerse yourself in fantasies of him. You drive to the grocery store and buy ingredients to make a meal from scratch. You ignore the glances from the lone men in the liquor aisles. Not today Satan.

At home, you prepare your work surface and begin to chop the vegetables, getting into an almost meditative rhythm. A blackbird squawks outside and your hand slips, the knife slices into your finger and blood is everywhere. You patch yourself up feeling wounded, betrayed. The meal abandoned you grab some popcorn and sit, self-pitying in front of Netflix until your heart lightens slightly.

Remembering your assignment you message your therapist. You have him saved under ‘Dr Lecter’. Keeping him at a distance while wanting him closer than anyone else. 

Took a walk today but now feeling sorry for myself on the couch.

The reply comes swiftly; A walk is a very beneficial.

It’s not enough, it’s never enough, so you take a deep breath and raise the phone to your face, snapping a photo.

I cut myself- ouch! You caption it, holding your bandaged finger up for Hannibal to see, a pout jutting out your bottom lip, your eyes wider and innocent. The perfect image of a vulnerable, needy damsel in distress.

You see the bubbles forming on the screen to show Hannibal is typing a reply, then they disappear.

“Fuck it.” you drop your phone on the couch and let your hand drift down to the waistband of your sweatpants. Closing your eyes you let your mind swim with a kaleidoscope of images. Hannibal shoving you up against the wall of his office, biting your neck, pushing you down as he sits in his chair, on your knees looking up as though praying. You imagine his mouth - thin and cruel yet soft on your skin, his large hands at your throat, on your breasts... perhaps he’d even bend you over his desk. In all of your fantasies he is fully dressed, either in his suit or in the waistcoat with his shirt sleeves rolled up. You cannot seem to conjure of the image of him naked. Not yet.

A message tone interrupts your reverie.

It’s beneficial to lick your wounds.

Staring at the phone you think you’re still in your imagination. Could Hannibal have really…? Emboldened by your desperation you take the bandage off your finger and suck it into your mouth as you take another photo and send it before you can second guess your actions.

When the reply comes you see yourself, cheeks hollowed and eyes full of lust, the finger in your mouth a perfect approximation of another phallic object you’d rather feel against your tongue.

His message is one word, but you resume touching yourself and your orgasm hits you like a wave as you read it, let the meaning and hope of it wash over you.

Scarlet.

#uhm i might do another part cause i have more ideas? #shit fuck #hannibal x you #hannibal x reader #right i'm off to work send me nice messages while i'm gone