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stardustvanfleet · 6 months

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Keep Silent - Jake Kiszka x F!Reader

SMUT. 18+ ONLY! MDNI!!!

PAIRING: Jake Kiszka x F!Reader

WORDS: 7.5k

SUMMARY: It's been raining for days on end, and your boyfriend Jake suggests a romantic trip to the library to help pass the time. Knowing him, however, things don't stay innocent and cozy for long.

WARNINGS: Dom!Jake. Exhibitionist/voyeur kink, fingering, filthy dirty talk with lots of degradation (slut, whore, dirty, desperate...) and praise (pretty girl, good girl, sweet girl, etc). Rough unprotected sex.

A/N: OKAY, WOW.... this fic is a long time coming. I've been working on this one for the last couple of months and I am so unbelievably excited to share it with all of you. First of all, I have to make some shoutouts-- this fic is dedicated to @jakesguitarsolo as a VERY late birthday present, ILY Jess!!! And an EXTREMELY special thanks to my beta reader and actual moon to my sun @sinsofstardust .... so many of my ideas are built alongside your equally dirty mind. I LOVE YOU COURT!! Another special thanks to @sparrowofthedawnsworld for all the encouragement as I slowly wrote out this passion project, ILY Sparrow!!! And thank you all for being so patient and reading my work... this is so incredibly fucking self-indulgent, I can't even begin to express. FIC BEGINS BELOW THE CUT!

It had been raining for over a week.

Not just a drizzle, either— it was day after day of heavy winds and sheets of rain that lashed at the window panes, with any view of the sky repeatedly choked out by lumbering, ominous gray clouds.

It wasn’t that you particularly minded rain, not really, but after days on end of being stuck indoors, the cabin fever was beginning to get to you. The apartment you shared with your boyfriend, Jake, was on the small side, and you’d already had to reschedule numerous date ideas this week that would’ve only been possible had you been able to go outside.

He must’ve noticed how antsy you had been getting, however, and today, he had a new idea— suggesting a trip to the library to pick out some books to read and movies to take home, to help pass the time while you waited for this goddamn endless rain to pass you by.

You had been so grateful for his suggestion, and not just because the weather outdoors had been making things feel a little too much like Groundhog Day. The thought of snuggling up with Jake in a cozy library for a while, reading your books and people-watching, was certainly enough to make the rain feel a little more appealing.

That had been during breakfast, a couple of hours ago. After the both of you had showered and gotten changed into some comfortable clothes worthy of a lazy Sunday but stylish enough to go out in, Jake had driven the two of you to the public library. His playlist of vintage rock was the soundtrack to your leisurely drive through the rain, but despite the unhurried pace and relaxed atmosphere, he didn’t waste any time before his flirtatious touches began– his left hand on the wheel, the right settling to rest on your upper thigh.

The touch could’ve perhaps been interpreted as innocent, but Jake clearly had other plans for the physical contact. He gently flexed his fingers, squeezing your thigh just enough for you to notice, smiling to himself at your tiny, sharp intake of breath… but never once taking his eyes off the road. All of a sudden, your heartbeat was skyrocketing. What a fucking tease.

He didn’t escalate things any further, but the feeling of his touch was nevertheless electric. As always, once he got your heart racing, it was near impossible for you to get your pulse to slow— just one example out of so many that revealed the effect he had on you. Once he got your mind in the gutter, his presence alone became something that could make you squirm. With a rush of heat to your lower stomach, you wondered if that had been his plan all along.

Your heart and mind were still going a mile a minute even a quarter of an hour later, when the two of you walked into the library hand-in-hand, heading towards the display of new fiction. As you two browsed through the titles, you found yourself taking numerous glances over at him, feeling unable to help it. He was wearing one of his softest shirts, buttoned just barely higher than usual, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, flipping through a dystopian novel with interest in his expression. His hair looked so soft… you loved those two silver necklaces dangling enticingly from his neck… and you were still close enough to take in the scent of his cologne.

While your eyes were on him, his gaze flashed up from the page, a knowing smirk forming on his face upon catching you staring. Your face immediately flushed with heat, realizing how lost in thought you had become, as you offered a bashful smile and a little shrug… to which he winked in response, which really didn’t do much in the way of helping you collect yourself. Very much the opposite, actually.

Blushing, you glanced back at the book you were holding, trying to focus your energy on reading the summary and reviews on the back cover— but god, you were horribly distracted, by both your thoughts and Jake’s awareness of the way he was already making you feel. After a few more minutes of the two of you browsing titles and picking out two each (between numerous glances that felt far too charged to be taking place in public), the two of you finally headed upstairs to find a comfortable couch where you could read and watch the rain in relative privacy… at least, that’s what you were telling yourself.

The first floor had already been relatively quiet, with only a few scattered clusters of people browsing the titles, but the second level was even more so. Looking across the numerous couches and desks nestled between bookshelves, the two of you were essentially free to take your pick of whichever spot you wanted. There seemed to only be a handful of patrons up here, no less than ten people across the entire floor; all of whom seemed to be lost in their own worlds of studying or reading, many of them wearing headphones. Your hand was in Jake’s, your fingers interlaced, and as you attempted to slow your racing heartbeat, you gestured across the room, in the direction of a more secluded corner hidden behind the biographies that you knew well as a favorite reading spot.

Jake’s eyes seemed to be scanning the room, taking in your surroundings, and you tried not to let your already wandering mind take that fact and run with it, knowing how adventurous he liked to be— in every sense of the word. You swallowed hard. Down, girl. Breathe…

To save time, instead of taking the long way around all of nonfiction, you tugged on Jake’s arm, pulling him towards a particular aisle between the shelves, saying quietly to him, “Shortcut.” He chuckled endearingly, looking down at you with that familiar twinkle in his honey-brown eyes and saying at a similarly low volume, “Lead the way, baby… show me all the secret passages.”

It was entirely subconscious that you bit your lip in response, but the way he arched his eyebrow back at you and offered a smirk as a retort made your legs feel like jelly. It was clear he was picking up on what you were feeling— regardless of whether you were communicating it intentionally. And maybe, just maybe… the fact that you couldn’t help your reactions… that was turning him on, too.

As you led him through the aisle, he had shifted so he was behind you— and you just couldn’t help walking with a bit of an extra sway in your hips. You knew where his eyes would always just happen to fall if he was right behind you… and why not take advantage of that? Without turning your head to face Jake just yet, you bit your lip playfully in anticipation before making a point of sticking your ass out towards him now that you were hidden away between the shelves, even shaking it back and forth a bit to ensure you’d catch his attention.

With that, you glanced behind you, unable to resist checking to see if he was looking… and, sure enough, you turned your head just in time to catch those half-lidded eyes of his flashing right back up to meet your gaze from where they had certainly been lingering on how nice your ass looked in those leggings. You gave him a smirk of your own, and he stepped forward just enough so that he could —so quickly you hardly processed it taking place— slip one hand just under the hem of your sweatshirt and t-shirt, letting his fingers rest against your bare skin and causing an immediate shiver to wrack your body. You were both now standing right in the middle of the aisle, but the intoxicating touch of his calloused fingertips against the sensitive skin just above your hip had left you frozen in your tracks, rooted to the spot.

Jake took another step closer to you, which left him pressed up against you from behind— the feeling of his heartbeat and heavy breaths against your back overwhelming enough without the added factor of his desire being made astonishingly clear as he pressed his hips up against your ass. With that simple action, you were both hit with the first delicious shock of friction, and your mouth immediately dropped open as Jake leaned right into your ear, his voice like velvet as he spoke, low and raspy… “You’re such a goddamn tease. Fuck… I love it.”

With Jake’s firm, hot chest right up against your back, and the overwhelming nature of the contact his hips just made with your ass, the fact that the two of you were still standing in the middle of the aisle had become something of an instant afterthought. It didn’t matter. None of it did– your mind had gone entirely blank beyond what you felt against you. Nothing else even existed besides the man who had his body pressed up against yours– and the way his lips were right up against the shell of your ear as he breathed out,

“Do you know how fucking cute you are when you’re all hot and bothered for me?”

An involuntary, high-pitched noise almost resembling a whimper threatened to escape from you– and though you were able to catch yourself before your entirely unintentional desperation ended up being loud enough to draw attention to what was going on, your body was hit with an overwhelming shock wave of arousal when you suddenly felt Jake’s hand clamp directly over your mouth. His body was still flush against yours, the feeling of his increasingly obvious erection against your ass in combination with his filthy words making you lightheaded.

“Careful, my dirty girl… unless you want everyone to know exactly what I’m doing to you…”

As he spoke, Jake’s free hand began to first stroke down your arm, then back up… before flattening his palm out just between your collarbones, making sure his long fingers were spread out wide, the feeling making your breath catch in your throat. He then continued his public exploration of your body by letting that same hand stroke right over both of your breasts, gently groping and squeezing each of them just enough to make you arch your back against him— which prompted Jake to chuckle darkly into your ear, before he began to whisper to you once again.

“What is it, baby? Does it turn you on when I grab your tits like this… right here, where anyone could walk by and see us?”

Jake’s words sent an instant shiver down your spine, the hunger in his tone immediately causing wetness to pool between your thighs— and the chuckle that rumbled from deep in his throat made it clear that the way your body trembled hadn’t only been felt by you.

“I think I’ll take that as a yes,” Jake said lowly, his voice thick, hot, and heavy– and though he was still behind you, you could hear the smirk in his voice. He hadn’t stopped feeling you up, moving from one breast to the other as he squeezed and massaged you, letting his thumbs gently begin to tease at your hard nipples through the fabric of your sweatshirt. Already, the pleasure was so fucking much, and you arched into his touch, pressing your tits up against his exploring hand. His volume lowered even further, and the breathiness in his voice was damn near overwhelming as he rasped directly against your ear, “My dirty little exhibitionist…”

Your head was spinning. Through your haze, you were aware that there wasn’t anybody walking by, that the few people present on this floor of the library were entirely occupied with their own activities… and yet, if anybody just happened to wander past this particular aisle, there was absolutely no way to provide an innocent explanation for what was going on. Not with Jake so blatantly and shamelessly exploring your body… and not with your face so red and legs already beginning to tremble at the result of his actions. And yet, the most dizzying aspect of all… was that you didn’t care. Not in the least. You couldn’t give a fuck where you were, as long as you could be assured that Jake wouldn’t stop touching you.

Thankfully, or perhaps dangerously, enough… it seemed that Jake was thinking the same thing.

While his left hand continued its relentless teasing and massaging of your breasts through your sweatshirt, Jake’s right hand fell to your hip, gripping it firmly and possessively. Your breaths had evolved into heavy, short gasps as you felt your arousal building, and the sound of your boyfriend’s low, satisfied chuckle right in your ear left you squeezing your thighs together, lightheaded. That was when he spoke again, low and commanding, the hunger and heat in his voice making your heart stutter within your chest—

“Your back. Against the bookcase. Now, pretty girl… for me.”

You didn’t even have to think. When Jake talked like that, his voice so dominant and raspy, it was as though your body just gave into him entirely on its own— no consideration required. With his hand still on your hip, guiding you, you felt him turning you around to face him for the first time since he started touching you, and the sight of his dark, lust-blown pupils right on you were enough to make a tiny whimper slip involuntarily from you.

Immediately, Jake’s long index finger was pressed directly against your lips, and before your body was even able to process the power of that simple action— he spoke again, his tone intoxicatingly condescending and his face inches from yours.

“Shhhh, now, honey… and listen to me. No matter what I do to you… you’re going to be silent. We’re in public, pretty girl… and nobody gets to hear those pretty moans but me. Is that clear?”

Your eyes had gone wide while Jake spoke, the combination of his filthy words, that intense fucking stare, and his finger against your lips only fanning the flames that were already burning deep within you. Keeping your lips pressed together out of breathless arousal, you nodded in a manner that, based on the way Jake began to smirk at you, came across far more desperate than you had intended to show— but likely exactly as desperate as you actually were feeling.

“That’s my good girl,” he breathed out, and your jaw tightened instantly as those few words sent shock waves directly between your legs, your knees beginning to shake as all of your energy went towards keeping yourself quiet. Jake’s expression was devious, cocky, a look you knew all too well… one that would always inevitably make your head spin and your panties wet, and the fact that he so clearly knew exactly what he was doing to you was only intensifying your desire. His voice remained just as quiet and firm as ever as he continued teasingly, “So… where was I?”

Your chest was heaving as Jake’s hand slid from your hip to your waist and back down, the look in his eyes making it obvious that he was enjoying himself, watching your reactions as he teased you. Every touch left your heart pounding, but you were aching at this point. You needed more, and you did your very best to communicate this to Jake without words. Feeling yourself surrender further to your desire, you looked up at the man in front of you with so much need that he let out a quiet, patronizing chuckle, dark and dangerous and unbelievably hungry.

“Oh, honey… you want it bad, don’t you?”

The instant shiver that coursed through your body at his words spoke loud and clear, eliciting another dark chuckle from Jake. “Well… how could I not…” he began, letting his hand begin to slide horizontally from its position on your hip, “...when you’re being so good for me?”

His other hand also shifted just slightly, replacing the single finger over your lips with his entire hand, so large it covered the majority of your jaw, right as the hand now against your stomach began to move downwards. He arched his eyebrow at you teasingly, giving you a flirtatious wink and murmuring, “Just in case.”

He was going to be the death of you.

The passionate eye contact never ceased or let up in the slightest as Jake’s hand continued its way down your sweatshirt, and his touch was already overwhelming enough through two layers of clothing. As his hand drew closer and closer to the hem of your leggings, the thought of how much closer he’d be, how he’d surely bypass the edge of the thickest fabric you were currently wearing within seconds, certainly wasn’t making things any easier.

The instant Jake’s fingertips were no longer dragging down your sweatshirt, he was slipping his hand under the waistband of your leggings, flattening out his palm and beginning to creep even further downwards. The sudden heat of his large hand stroking right down over your panties made you let out a gasp— one so sudden and involuntary against the fingers over your mouth that it made Jake’s smirking lips part with arousal, a soft “goddamn” slipping out from somewhere deep in his throat. That would’ve been enough to send you reeling, and yet, it was at that moment that his fingertips made their first contact with your clit, with nothing but the thin fabric of your everyday panties in between— and immediately, your eyes rolled back into your head, knees beginning to tremble as Jake studied your expression with a kind of hungry fascination that you couldn’t believe he still held for you after all this time.

Jake was rubbing your clit in tight circles now, and your breaths were already coming fast and hard. This wasn’t going to take long, not after all of his teasing, not with the thrill and the rush of your back against the bookcase and the knowledge of people just out of sight. He slid a long finger down to your still-covered entrance, and his mouth immediately fell open with desire when he realized just how soaked the fabric was under his touch.

“Fuck, pretty girl. Do you want me to make you unravel right here?”

You desperately wanted to cry out, to beg out loud, to whimper out a plea, anything that could tell him just how much you needed that. When he was craving your sounds, he’d encourage you to be as loud as you could— and he’d work you and pound you until you were screaming his name. But now, today… with his hand so firmly planted over your mouth, possessive, stifling… all you could manage was a shaky nod, overwhelmed with the feeling, the silence, his control.

Jake’s soft, dark chuckle reverberated through you as he murmured, “That’s my dirty girl.”

With that, he effortlessly managed to push the dripping fabric of your panties out of the way despite not once letting his eyes leave yours— and the moment his fingers came into direct contact with your heat, you felt the entire world around you melt away. Holy fucking shit.

His movements were so languid and intentional, like he had done this to you a thousand times… and, well, he probably had. And yet, somehow, it still felt just as dizzying as the first time when Jake’s long middle finger immediately parted your folds and buried itself deep into you, your thighs instantly tightening around his wrist as his mouth dropped open once again.

“Fucking eager little thing,” he breathed out, “goddamn.”

And as he started pumping his finger in and out of you, not wasting any time when it came to picking up his speed and intensity, you knew what he said had been right. You were eager for him to make you cum, and you didn’t even care admitting it. In fact, you’d scream it from the rooftops if it meant Jake wouldn’t cease his movements, wouldn’t stop staring at you with those dark eyes, as he brought you closer and closer to the edge. When he curled his finger inside of you in a come-hither motion, stroking that one particular spot that he knew so well, you were seeing stars, bucking up your hips against his hand in a frenzied chase for the orgasm you knew was threatening to overtake you at any moment. It was all so overwhelming, so fucking good, the feeling of that long finger sliding in and out of you over and over again, Jake’s hand so firm over your mouth, those eyes watching you all the while.

And that was when he added his ring finger.

You were practically gone, almost incoherent, leaning back and allowing the bookshelf behind you to be your support— there was no hope of keeping yourself upright on your own now. The trembling of your thighs and the fluttering of your walls around Jake’s fingers clearly communicated your teetering proximity to the edge, and he grit his teeth together as he made sure not once to relent in his fingers’ pace within you. Your vision was blurring, your chest heaving, and Jake could read every signal your body was giving him. It was intoxicating, how well he knew you. Never once slowing his pace, finger-fucking you relentlessly, he leaned in, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear as he whispered,

“Gonna cum for me? Right here in the fucking library? Do it. Cum on my fingers like the exhibitionist slut you are. Fucking cum.”

His words were all it took. Ecstasy overtook every inch of your body as you clenched down around him, your mouth wide open against the fingers Jake still had covering your lips, legs all but giving out beneath you as you rode out wave after wave of pleasure.

“Fuck, that’s my girl. Goddamn,” Jake was groaning softly into your ear, but you could barely even process the words falling from his lips with the intensity of the orgasm that was currently overtaking you, only heightened by the fact that Jake made sure to maintain the pace of his fingers all the way through your high, his eyes even closing for a moment in aroused disbelief at just how hard you were cumming for him.

Shaking, trembling, your orgasm astounded you in its length and intensity, and by the time you were coming down, you were gasping for breath. Jake finally slid his hand away from where it had been covering your mouth, drifting it off to the side and cradling your cheek, as he gazed at you with an expression that mixed adoration and staggering desire.

“Holy fuck, baby,” Jake breathed out, shaking his head a little. “You…”

His voice trailed off at the sudden, unmistakable sound of footsteps. Your eyes went instantly wide, and you glanced in rapidly developing panic at the entrance to the aisle the two of you were standing in— the aisle he had just made you cum all over his fingers in.

But if Jake was feeling any of that same nervousness that was threatening to overtake the post-orgasmic haze you were feeling, he was doing a damn good job at hiding it. In one fluid motion, Jake had pulled his hand from your leggings, and quickly scooped up your selected books that had been laying forgotten on the floor with the hand that had, until recently, been covering your mouth. The loss of contact would’ve been enough to make you whimper in any other situation, but in this moment, you couldn’t help but thank your lucky stars for Jake’s adaptability and cool demeanor. You only hoped you looked a fraction as put together as he did, which, frankly, you doubted very much now that he had already brought you to one orgasm and didn’t really seem like he intended to stop there. Your head was still spinning as Jake quickly sucked his fingers clean with a wink, just in time for a stranger likely over twice your age to walk right by the aisle that he’d been finger-fucking you to orgasm in moments earlier.

Once the stranger had passed you by, you let out a long, shaky sigh that you couldn’t be sure whether to attribute more to your relief or your desire. With your back still against the bookcase, your gaze met Jake’s once again— and the mischievous, hungry look in his eyes had returned, seductive and unmistakable. When he spoke again, his voice was a whisper. “Goddamn, baby… drives me fuckin’ crazy how dirty you are.”

Having regained your composure somewhat, you managed a playful smile of your own, biting down on your bottom lip in the flirtatious way you knew Jake loved— savoring the way his tongue darted over his bottom lip as you said, voice breathy, “It’s all for you, Jake…”

“Fuck,” Jake cursed under his breath, his tone thick with desire, his darkened eyes never leaving yours. He moved a step closer to you, his voice soft and raspy as he asked you with obvious intentions, “...where can we go?”

A shiver went down your spine as his meaning hit you loud and clear. Your mind was racing, and you were responding before the thought was even fully formed— “There’s a secluded corner behind the biographies… it’s where I was leading us before…” you trailed off, and your cheeks reddened as you gave Jake a little smirk. “...before you distracted me so nicely.”

Jake grinned at you wickedly, before leaning in and whispering right in your ear. “Take me there now, baby, so I can distract you some more…” letting his lips drag across your velvety skin, making you gasp when he grazed your earlobe with his teeth. Your ability to think flickered like a faulty switch, but you were able to hold yourself together long enough to grab Jake’s wrist and murmur teasingly, “I could, if you weren’t so damn distracting already…” making him smirk at you while you giggled in response, before adding, “...now follow me, Jakey, I think you’ll like what comes next.”

As he let you take your first couple of steps ahead of him, he managed a final soft, teasing whisper, his voice heavy as he said, “I’m already liking the view…” making you blush before you led him out of the aisle on legs that still weren’t entirely steady, passing one or two oblivious people on their laptops. The thought that they had been there the entire time, and would likely continue to be there, while remaining none the wiser to what was happening between you and Jake, was making you even more lightheaded than you could care to admit. Even though you were a few steps ahead of him, you could feel your boyfriend’s presence behind you; his steady gait and comforting yet commanding presence unmistakable and dizzying. You wanted all of him so fucking bad, and you were about to give it to him right here. In public. You almost couldn’t believe yourself, and yet, it was no surprise that Jake was bringing out this side of you. There was something about him that just made you want to be as filthy as possible, no matter where you were— and you knew Jake loved that just as much as you did.

After what seemed like a tortuous amount of time winding through labyrinthine aisles of nonfiction and biography, your destination came into view. It was your favorite reading nook in the whole library, specifically because of how hidden away it was behind the stacks. Tucked away in a corner behind the biographies, surrounded by tall bookshelves and sporting what you considered to be the comfiest chair in the building. However, the highlight of this particular spot was that it was in an area of the library that nobody ever seemed to wander into. There had been times where you’d managed to curl up in that recliner and read an entire book over the course of several hours without seeing another soul, despite knowing that there were certainly people right on the other side of the shelves.

Of course, it had now become apparent that the hidden nature of this particular nook had some other benefits beyond being a quiet place to read. When you turned to face your boyfriend after arriving at your favorite corner, the look on his face was almost incredulous with anticipation, eyebrows raised and tongue rolling against the inside of his own cheek. “Goddamn… this is a nice little spot, isn’t it?” he said mischievously, his pupils somehow having dilated even further, betraying the depth of his own arousal. He set the books that you two had chosen down on the chair, his hands falling to hook around his belt loops.

“I’ve always wanted to show it to you, Jakey…” you breathed out, never once letting your eyes leave his, as he began to walk towards you, getting closer and closer, one step at a time. The distance between the two of you was shrinking by the second, and before you knew it, Jake was close enough to be brushing your hair out of your face with his long, delicate fingers, that naughty look in his eye that always made you shudder.

“I love it, baby…” he murmured, his heavy-lidded eyes flickering down to your lips as he let his fingers move from their place in your hair to stroke down the side of your cheek. A teasing smirk made its way onto his face, one that you knew all too well. “...but tell me… is there any… particular reason you wanted to take me here? Hmm?”

“Jakey…” you sighed softly, arching into his touch as his fingers traced your cheekbone, then your jawline, before starting to run down your neck. As his fingers explored you in a way that felt shockingly sensual for where he was touching you, he continued, “Come on, now, baby… use your words… before it’s time for me to cover that pretty mouth with my hand again…” You let out the tiniest squeak of a whimper, making Jake chuckle darkly, as he added, “Well? Why did you want to bring me here to this hidden little corner, baby?”

As he finished his question, his hand came to rest at the base of your throat, in the exact spot he knew would always make your knees go weak beneath his touch— and your body proved him right, shuddering instantly. The hunger in Jake’s eyes was enough to have every inch of you burning for him, and as his gaze bore into you, the words were finally able to fall from your lips, soft and breathy and just for him. “Oh, Jake… I want you to fuck me right here… right here, in the fucking public library…” letting your voice fall to a whisper as you breathed out your final, most indecent fantasy. “...right up against the bookshelves…”

Jake’s soft groan of need would have been enough to make your head spin on its own, but clearly, hearing you give voice to your desires had lit a flame within him that he wasn’t going to attempt to restrain any longer. All of a sudden, he was pushing you up against the bookshelf with strong arms, his hips beginning to roll against you while whispering harshly right into your ear, “Goddamn, you are a fucking dirty girl, aren’t you…?”

The way your mouth instantly and wordlessly fell open gave Jake the answer that he needed while the two of you were so indecently involved in public. He caught your lips with his— roughly, passionately, kissing you with a silent ferocity that almost knocked you off of your feet, and potentially would have if he didn’t already have your back pressed up against the bookshelf. His hips didn’t halt in their motions against you, and your mind and body were struck by the realization of just how hard Jake was. You could feel him, solid and burning against your upper thigh, even through the thin fabric of both his jeans and your leggings, and the sensation was so intoxicating you felt your eyes roll back into your head involuntarily.

He was nipping at your bottom lip, his teeth grazing your sensitive skin, and you were immediately starting to buck your hips in response to the way he was setting your body alight with arousal. With both of you now grinding against each other, still devouring each other’s lips as though starving for it, it was more obvious than ever just how badly you both wanted this. Just how much it turned both of you on to be fully giving into your desire, just yards away from strangers who knew nothing of what was going on. To know that things were about to escalate even further. Right here, right now.

Jake’s hands were sliding down your body and hooking around the waistband of both your leggings and your panties. A surge of arousal rushed to your head as you realized what he was doing— and when he pulled back from your lips just long enough to give you a look that clearly requested a final confirmation that this was what you wanted, you nodded so hard that his expression returned to its smug dominance instantly. Glancing back over his shoulder one last time before looking you right in the eyes, Jake yanked both your leggings and panties down in one hard tug, pushing them as far down your legs as they could go. His chest was heaving with desire as he stared at you hungrily, before stepping back just enough to take a good look at your exposed body as his hands moved to the button and zipper of his own jeans. Whispering darkly, Jake breathed out, “Look at you… so fucking pretty when you’re stripped down for me… showing off that gorgeous body right fucking here…” his filthy words making your knees tremble.

His voice was still a whisper when he asked, “Fucking turns you on so much that we’re doing this in public, doesn’t it?” cocking his head to the side with a lust-clouded smirk as you nodded. “My dirty girl… you want me to take it out? You want… you need my cock inside you right here, right now?”

As he spoke, you were biting on your lip harder and harder to stop yourself from moaning aloud, doing everything you could to force yourself to stay silent, while nodding harder and harder, growing desperation in your eyes. Jake chuckled patronizingly, chewing on his own lower lip as he pulled his zipper down, murmuring, “That’s my good little whore… now keep your eyes on me, sweet girl…” He didn’t need to tell you twice; hell, even if he hadn’t given the order, you wouldn’t have been able to look away from the now-exposed hint of his boxers, from where his beautiful hands were now moving to the waistband of his jeans. Those long fingers of his, just as they had with your own clothing, made quick work of the thin layers of fabric separating your gaze from exactly what you craved. And once he had his cock free, you had to cover your mouth with your own hand in order to keep yourself silent.

He looked achingly hard, his cock thick and waiting, the rosy pink head already slick with his own arousal, and you felt yourself trembling in anticipation as Jake moved towards you, spitting into his hand in a way that felt downright obscene— especially considering where you were— before giving his cock a few languid strokes just as he found his position right in front of you. His eyes were practically darker than you’d ever seen them before, and Jake used the hand that had been stroking his cock to grab your inner thigh, pushing your legs apart for better access. Your heart was pounding in your chest as his free hand slid up your chest and neck to cover your mouth completely once again, never once letting his intense stare lessen or cease. He leaned right in, until the tip of his nose touched yours, opening his mouth to speak, his voice hushed. “Ready to get fucked like the exhibitionist you are?”

The way your body immediately shuddered at his words told Jake everything he needed to know, lining his cock up at your entrance, with his mouth falling open involuntarily upon feeling the intensity of your desire for him. “Goddamn, you’re fucking soaked… is that all for me? All because anyone could walk by and see us when I fuck that slutty little pussy…”

And then, giving you no rest or reprieve whatsoever, the moment he finished his sentence, Jake was pushing his cock all the way into you, his pace unhurried but steady, stretching you out and filling you up so deliciously and perfectly that your eyes rolled all the way back into your head, your knees almost completely giving out underneath you. It was only the pressure of Jake’s body keeping you pinned to the bookshelf that was keeping you upright now.

Jake’s jaw immediately tightened, his teeth clenching, as he leaned right into your ear for a moment just to groan out a restrained “Oh, fuck…” that seemed like it may have slipped from his lungs entirely involuntarily. You could hardly breathe. He was so fucking thick, and the feeling of him stretching you out so perfectly was almost overwhelming already. And yet, once he started to move, his cock beginning to pump in and out of you over and over again— slow at first, but rapidly picking up speed— the intense shocks of pleasure were so staggering that your mind went entirely blank beyond the feeling of Jake’s cock inside of you, fucking you just right, stretching and pounding into you in a way that you wouldn’t ever be able to get used to.

He was really fucking you now, and it was like the rest of the world had melted away. All there was, all there ever would be, were Jake’s dark eyes, his filthy words, his fat cock slamming into you over and over and over again— and the way you were already beginning to feel your pleasure building towards your second orgasm of the day with your back against a bookshelf. After all of his teasing, you weren’t going to last long, and the way he was practically growling under his breath right into your ear as he pounded into your cunt was enough to send your mind reeling along with your body.

“Such a dirty fucking girl… voyeuristic little whore… you want to get caught, don’t you? You want strangers to see you getting your tight little pussy fucked…. To see me fucking railing you against the bookshelves… is that it, baby? Are you my slutty little exhibitionist?”

His tone was already patronizing, but coupled with the fact that his hand was so firmly over your mouth that there was no possibility you’d be able to respond, the sheer condescension was making your head spin. Your thighs were beginning to tremble, your mouth falling open against Jake’s long fingers as you felt the heat in your core beginning to increase exponentially. He was relentless, fucking you hard and deep, his breathy sighs and groans in your ear only spurring you on further, encouraging you to completely lose control. As you grew closer and closer to your high, you felt your walls beginning to flutter around Jake’s thick cock, and his eyes damn near rolled into the back of his head. He leaned in and pressed his lips directly to the shell of your ear before he spoke again. “Goddamn, baby, I feel you clenching… are you gonna cum again for me? Right here? Gotta be silent, though, pretty girl… keep nice and quiet… fuck… I’m not far behind, baby… gonna cum for you, too… gonna fill you up…”

You couldn’t even nod your head as tears began to well in your eyes. Jake’s cock was hitting your g-spot over and over again, sending overwhelming waves of utter bliss through you with every thrust. Of course, Jake knew your body so well— he didn’t need to hear an answer from you. With the free hand that wasn’t covering your mouth, he dipped his fingers between your legs to rub your clit in tight circles while continuing to fuck you at his same dizzying pace. That was all it took. Within moments, you were completely unraveling, clenching down onto Jake’s cock uncontrollably as your second orgasm overtook you, practically sucking your boyfriend’s long fingers into your mouth to keep yourself silent. The combined sensation of you reaching your high all around him, rippling and fluttering, alongside your hot mouth on his fingers, pushed Jake over the edge. He bit down on your shoulder to stifle his low, blissful grunt as he exploded inside of you, filling you up completely, fucking every last drop of his cum into your pussy.

You couldn’t have any idea how long your orgasm lasted, the pleasure reaching a point almost beyond overwhelming while Jake held you close throughout both of your intense highs. The way he was biting down on your shoulder turned into open-mouthed kisses against both the fabric of your sweatshirt and the flushed skin of your neck as the two of you slowly but surely returned to earth, gasping for breath in a way that probably was nowhere near as quiet as you had hoped— not that it really would matter much now anyway. As if reading your mind, Jake’s hand slid down from its place covering your mouth to grip your upper arm in a way that was both a little possessive and entirely comforting. It must have been at least a minute or two of heavy breathing and clinging to each other’s clothing and skin before you finally felt able to think again— breathless giggles slipping from your lips as the reality of what just happened began to sink in. Jake looked up from your shoulder, a similarly dazed and cheeky grin on his own face.

When he spoke, his voice was still soft, but it was steady, astonished, adoring. “Goddamn, baby. That was fucking unbelievable… I love you so much.”

You bit your lip shyly, looking down towards the floor for half a second before letting your gaze flash back up to meet Jake’s, breathing out a bashful, flustered, “I love you too, Jakey… it’s just what you do to me.”

“It’s what you do to me,” he murmured with a smile, leaning in to capture your lips with another kiss, this one slower, less hurried, less frantic. Patient, loving, home. You melted against him, almost forgetting where you were for a moment, until you were suddenly aware once again of the exposed lower half of your body against the bookshelf, which made you start giggling again against his lips. When he pulled back to look at you endearingly and curiously, you gestured downwards, and Jake couldn’t hold back a little laugh of his own. “Okay, so we should take care of a few things…”

Carefully, he pulled himself from you, making you shudder, as he quickly made sure to tug your bottoms back up your legs— and you felt your cheeks begin to burn as you felt the familiar shiver of Jake’s cum dripping from you into your panties. He gave you a mischievous wink as he zipped up his jeans, whispering, “Just a little something to remember me by…” prompting you to roll your eyes and giggle, leaning in to tease him with a playful nudge, “As if I could ever forget, Jakey…”

Jake took your arm and helped you walk over to the big comfy chair on your trembling legs, the both of you sharing numerous flirtatious glances that would inevitably turn into giggles. The chair was so large that there was enough room for the both of you to fit sitting in it, as long as you swung your legs over Jake’s— and that was something you’d never pass up an opportunity to do. As you two settled in with your books, you leaned back, resting your head on Jake’s shoulder. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself as a thought you’d never expected made its way into your mind. “Hey, Jakey?”

“What is it, baby?” he asked, turning to you, looking satisfied and affectionate— beautiful beyond compare. You stifled another giggle, leaning in to press your forehead to his.

“Let’s hope it rains again tomorrow.”

TAGLIST: @sinsofstardust @jakesguitarsolo @losfacedevil @sparrowofthedawnsworld @gold-mines-melting @texas-bbq-pringles @mountain-in-springtime @alwaysonthemend @tripthelightfatality @tommie-gvf @runwayblues @shutupdevvie @heavens-hearken @godly-sinsx @sacredjake @ignite-my-fire @kiska-enthusiast @songbirds-sweet

#jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka smut #greta van smut #gvf fic #jake kiszka fic #li speaks #writing tag

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delimeful · 3 years

Text

mere monstrosity (1)

warnings: spiders, misunderstandings, captivity

Logan woke up to the familiar soft chime of his alarm, and rolled out of bed bleary-eyed but ready to get the day started. He kept quiet as he crept out of the room.

He didn’t bother grabbing his glasses, knowing that they’d only be of use after his shower. His feet knew the way from his bedroom to the bathroom by heart, and he preferred to shower in the dark to avoid the likelihood of getting one of his light-sensitivity migraines, so he didn’t reach for the lightswitch either.

Instead, he pushed quietly past the half-open door and fumbled for the shower knob, cranking it up to exactly the point before it turned scalding.

The water flickered on a moment later, and amidst the clamor of droplets against ceramic, he heard an indistinct, high-pitched noise, like a chirp or squeak.

“A mouse?” he muttered to himself, squinting at the dark, blurry interior of the shower.

He couldn’t hear anything else over the spray, so he quickly turned the shower off and stepped back to flick the lightswitch on, potential headaches be damned.

He pulled the shower curtain fully to the side, and blinked at the sight of a blurry black splotch in the corner of his bathtub. Leaning in a little further, he could briefly make out individual legs, long and numerous, before they were pulled closer and blended in with the rest of the shape.

“You are… a considerably large spider,” he informed it, grateful that it was him and not Patton who had found it. The resulting terrified shriek would have woken him and Janus, and probably most of the neighbors for that matter. “Are you a tarantula? Are tarantulas even native to this area?”

The spider, rather predictably, didn’t respond, and Logan recalled that he’d just doused the poor thing with jets of cold water. It was probably curling all its limbs in a mock death-curl, trying to process the unexpected threat to its breathing and body temperature.

He reached over to the counter and carefully removed the collection of multicolored toothbrushes from the plastic cup next to their sink, tapping it against the side of the counter to clear out any remaining dust.

“Try to stay still, alright?” he coaxed in a low voice, crouching and leaning over the tub to get a better angle. “I don’t want to catch any of your limbs, just keep them all tucked in close like that and I’ll get you out of there.”

To his surprise, the spider really didn’t make any sudden moves, remaining frozen as he settled the cup over it. The only reason he was sure it was still alive was the tiny motion of its front legs, two little investigative nudges against the edge of the cup.

“Excellent job,” he praised, his curiosity only growing. Most of the spiders he had cupped would immediately run at the glass with arms lifted in threat, or run in frantic circles along the edges seeking an escape. Of course, none of them had been this large. Most wild tarantulas were hunters, though, not spinners. Aggression would serve them well, so why was this one so docile? Was it an escaped pet? Had the cold water been that shocking?

He quickly retrieved a folder from the living room, returning to find that the plastic cup had shifted a couple of inches. It was large enough to push it, then.

“Just a little bit more,” he continued to soothe, carefully sliding the folder under the cup bit by bit, allowing the spider time to shift its legs onto the folder so the tips wouldn’t be pinched. He then carefully lifted the whole ensemble up, keeping a cautious hand on top of the cup. “There we go.”

The kitchen was dimly lit, the small light under the microwave still on so that anyone getting water in the middle of the night wouldn’t trip or run into anything in the dark. Logan glanced at the front door for a long moment, and then gave in to the urge to investigate his catch a bit closer. It would be irresponsible to just release a domesticated tarantula into the wild, after all.

He set the cup and folder down carefully on the counter, and then placed a heavy ceramic plate on top of the cup, reasoning that it was better to make sure the spider wouldn’t push the cup-- and itself-- right off the counter.

“One moment.” That done, he went into his room to retrieve his glasses, leaving the light off so as to not wake up Janus, who had only gotten in from his night shift a few hours ago. His roommate normally slept heavily once he managed to get to sleep, so Logan didn’t have to worry about waking him by climbing out of their shared bed, but better not to risk turning the lights on in the first place.

The world came into a much clearer focus once he’d pushed his glasses into their proper place atop his nose, and with his vision improved, he had no problems finding the hall closet and rummaging through it for one of Janus’s old terrariums.

He set the glass case down on the kitchen counter without any furnishings inside-- he was only planning to get a good look at the specimen, after all-- and flicked on the kitchen light before carefully moving the trapped spider into the terrarium and then lifting the cup away.

The spider frantically scuttled back, smacking thorax-first into the glass wall of the terrarium, and Logan frowned contemplatively at the sight of it.

It was certainly a tarantula, one that he’d probably be able to find online fairly easily with the distinctive white stripes along it’s eight fuzzy legs. Concerningly enough, there was an odd swelling protrusion on the anterior part of the body. It was a similar dark shade to the rest of the body, but almost larger than the thorax, and it blocked off any sight of the pedipalps, fangs, or eyes.

The texture didn’t seem to match the carapace… Perhaps it was a piece of garbage or organic waste that had gotten stuck on the creature? If it hindered movement, that could explain why it had been so still earlier.

It wasn’t still now, exhibiting an odd vibrating throughout its body that Logan had never witnessed from a spider before. He would certainly be doing some research into arthropods after this.

Well, at the very least, he could see if that protruding material would come loose.

Logan carefully pulled on one of Janus’s thick leather gloves, one of the more worn sets in case the spider had urticating hairs, and then reached down. The spider seemed to spot his shadow, going by the way it stiffened, and he reminded himself that though he didn’t know the species and many tarantulas were venomous, it was incredibly unlikely their venom would be able to do more than hurt him.

Confidence restored, he continued reaching down until his fingers met the odd lump, at which point a low, guttural hiss sounded, and the spider threw its front legs up and lunged, slapping its limbs down against the floor of the terrarium in threat.

Logan remained undeterred by the small tantrum, instead focusing on the fact that the obstruction was loose, almost like shed skin on a snake. Studying the spider carefully, he pinched it gently between two fingers, trying to discern what in the world it could possibly be.

The next three movements happened in rapid succession.

First, Logan tugged lightly at the material caught between his fingers. Second, the spider recoiled sharply, pulling away from his grip with surprising strength. And third, the covering came loose, the spider pulling free from it and leaving a limp swathe of fabric hanging from Logan’s fingers.

Below him, now uncovered, there was pale skin, a mop of bedraggled hair, and a tiny, terrified human face.

Logan froze, staring down at it-- them with wide eyes.

The being he’d mistaken for a spider was actually a drider, a creature of myth that was apparently all too real. Logan couldn’t help how stunned he felt. Even apart from the shock of the discovery, there was the shock of their size. Driders were said to have a human-sized spider half, not the other way around!

Below, the drider was still frozen in place, staring right back up at him. He could see the way their little chest was heaving with quick, panicked breaths, could feel the way the tiny makeshift poncho in his hand was sodden and cold, and he felt guilt strike him like a ruler across knuckles.

“I-- Hold on a moment, please,” he managed, his mind racing as he stepped back, turning and hurrying out of the room.

Once again, the hall closet held exactly what he needed, and he mentally rescinded all his past complaints about the amount of extra snake care items Janus had stashed away in their storage closet like a dragon’s hoard.

The heat lamp was compact enough to fit easily in the terrarium, where the spider-person had scuttled back to press themself into the furthest corner, limbs pulled in tightly in what had to be a fear response.

Logan set the lamp carefully inside and plugged it in, sighing in relief when the bulb lit up and began to glow orange. “This lamp is designed for reptiles, not arthropods, so it may be too hot for extended use. However, it will work temporarily as a heat source to get rid of excess moisture, so I encourage you to use it.”

The drider was glaring up at him with the tiniest scowl he’d ever seen, front legs still lifted up defensively, but didn’t say a word.

“Do you speak?” Logan asked, and received only silence in return. “I suppose I should have guessed as much, seeing as you haven’t responded to any of my previous statements. Do you understand me? Do we speak the same language?”

The drider glared harder.

“I find it hard to believe that you have animal-level intelligence,” Logan continued, now mostly to himself. He lifted a hand, displaying the poncho he still held. “Although some birds can ‘sew’, construction of clothing to cover one’s form is a complex and distinctly human sentiment.”

Still, nothing. Their gaze was caught by the poncho for a moment before they looked away entirely, looking for all the world to be sulking.

Logan sighed, and then slowly moved to place the poncho next to the heat lamp, laying it out flat for easier drying. “I’m going to attend to my morning routine. It should only take me a few moments, but please feel free to call or make noise if you need my attention between now and then.”

The drider’s expression had eased into confusion at the sight of their garment laid out before them, but their legs remained warily upright as Logan left the room.

As promised, he only made a brief stop to make sure both of his roommates were still soundly asleep before climbing into the shower and preparing himself for the day, roughly fifteen minutes behind schedule.

It wasn’t too disruptive-- it had eaten into the time he normally allotted for sitting at the table and eating breakfast, so that would have to be skipped today, but it wasn’t the end of the world.

Honestly, he’d likely spend the rest of the day thinking about the surprise addition to his morning. There were so many questions he’d love to ask, but seeing as the creature had attempted to hide their existence even at risk of being perceived as a normal spider (and therefore possibly squashed), he expected he wouldn’t be receiving any answers.

Talkative or not, the drider clearly had sapient levels of intelligence, and Logan was loath to start off humanity’s relationship with a vulnerable and secretive species by keeping them trapped in a snake terrarium against their will.

Even if he was willing to weigh scientific advancement over his morals, his roommates would never allow it. Patton would naturally be terrified and possibly sympathetic when witnessing their clear terror, and he’d had enough extensive debates on ethics with Janus to know that his opinion on keeping them captive would be much the same.

So, when he returned to the kitchen and saw them toppling over and scurrying back from the heat lamp that they’d clearly been attempting to use as a makeshift ladder to freedom, Logan didn’t bother commenting, simply moving forward and looking them over.

“You seem to have mostly dried,” he stated instead, able to appreciate the subtle design work of the poncho better now that it wasn’t being used as camouflage. The drider gripped it like they thought he might take it away.

They would react fairly badly to him reaching out with his hand, and reasonably so. Logan hadn’t exactly done much except douse, capture, and then gently interrogate them. Not exactly trustworthy behavior.

He studied the terrarium for a moment before grabbing a washcloth and draping it over the side, providing an easy textured surface for the spider to climb up. There. “You are free to go.”

The surprised expression that flashed across their face was almost comical.

“I’m not sure what your purpose in the bathroom was, but I’d ask you to be more careful in the future. One of my roommates…,” Logan sighed through his nose, exasperated even imagining it. “Well, suffice to say you should avoid him at all costs.”

The tiny drider continued to stare at him, gaze occasionally flickering over to the towel with clear suspicion. It was saddening to be so distrusted, but perhaps this show of goodwill would help prove that he didn’t intend any harm? He hoped he hadn’t frightened them from the residence entirely-- he shuddered at the many, many potential dangers the creature would find outside.

“My roommates will wake later in the day, so if you intend to avoid their notice, I’d suggest leaving the enclosure as soon as I have departed for work,” he gave a little farewell wave, not reacting to the slight flinch it elicited from the little guy. “It-- well, you probably don’t share the sentiment, but still-- it was nice to meet you. Goodbye.”

Forcing himself not to turn back and get one last look, Logan hurried out the door.

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #sanders sides g/t #ts logan #ts virgil #tiny drider au #drider #mere monstrosity #mm #g/t #spiders tw #well just one but yknow #sorry for late posting i forgot it was saturday #time is fake #my writing #writing

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dailytatsu · 3 years

Note

Heya! Can I request an Aether/Lumine & reader?

So reader is basically an immortal half-elf who've lived for centuries and a well refined fighter. Well at the beginning even tho they volunteered to tag along on traveler's journey to find their sibling, reader is rather obnoxious and a lazy-dork who only help when actually needed. But as the journey continues, they began to act like traveler's bodyguard after witnessing (archon quest spoiler!) traveler almost getting killed by the Shogun? And maybe random shenanigans happen between them (ft.Paimon). I don't mind if you do either Aether or Lumine if you feel pressured 🙏

Hi! This kind are my favorites! Tysm for requesting! (๑>◡<๑)

I did this with Aether since he is my favorite is who I chose, and I feel more comfortable writing with guys than with girls.

I know they have some different personalities but I can help but see Lumine as the all mighty abyss princess.

Hope you enjoy!

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Aether & Half-elf! Reader

GN! Reader

Inazuma Archon Quest Spoilers!

Request are open; sorry for any mistakes!

Genshin Impact Masterlist

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Aether always thought that immortality brought with it wisdom, beings who live for much longer than an ordinary human tend to gain an understanding of life and changes in the world after years of appreciating the passing of the ages.

But when he met you he couldn't help but feel that all his beliefs were based on fiction and old rumors from other worlds. You were anything but wise, not even his first choice to be the voice of reason.

Even Paimon takes her role as his guide seriously.

But what was so wrong about you that get him on his nerves all the time? And most important, why does is he still dealing with you?

To be fair, maybe he was waiting a little too much from you. After all, he always forget that you still have half of a human’s nature.

“Mmh? What are you doing?” You asked Aether the first time he removed your hair from your ears to see if they were pointy. They were, and Paimon yelled kind of a objection when she realize she had to pay for losing their bet.

Not a human, not a elf, but a hybrid between them.

The first encounter was really something he would never forget. Rumors about treasures and requests from the guild made them follow some clues to find a cave that was marked as lost, impossible to enter and explore.

But “impossible” is a word that doesn’t exist their vocabulary. Yet is common that regretting comes along when you’re that bold and risky.

At the very end of that strange cave there wasn’t a treasure waiting, not even a new clue to keep going with the mystery. Instead, was a humanoid silhouette, they seemed to be meditating, not showing a single interest in their voices neither getting nervous because of Aether and Paimon taking some steps forward to have a better look.

But they were breathing, and both could see the pupils moving slightly under their eyelids. Eyebrows twitching now and then, like they were having a nightmare, one of which they couldn’t wake up.

Paimon encouraged him to get even closer to shake that person's shoulder, while she was hiding behind some rocks, obviously.

Aether summoned his sword and then he approached slowly until touching them with his fingertips, waiting for some kind of jumpscare.

The stranger raised their arm, carefully but also in a robotic way. Their fingers were tense, as much that it was painful just looking at them. Like a quiet call, like a order that couldn’t be heard, from the pile of rocks where Paimon was hiding something emerge, breaking through the stone and letting a rusty polearm to be seen.

Their fingers closed around the weapon, bringing them back to reality.

“Master and weapon, reunited again, rise so the world can meet their end!”

Or at least that's what he would have preferred to find. A servant guarding a lost relic, a soulless body moving by a curse, perhaps even a fate that death could not prevent.

But instead it was something really underwhelming, something that broke the mystical and strange atmosphere. That person opened their eyes, annoyed by the light of the torches and disoriented by the situation.

With their body in pain and numb at the same time, how long have they slept in that position?

The first thing they did after waking up was sneezing.

‘So much dust…’

Never accepting missions for exploring legendary caves ever again. Nope. Negative. He refuse to.

What if they find another (Y/N)? Thanks, but no. One is more than enough.

“So what you mean is that your parents' families exiled you and locked you up in the cave for being an ‘abomination’ to both species?” Paimon confirmed once the three of you were back in the surface again. Her hands moving side to side to explain -in a very expressive way- everything you told them.

“It seems that we found the remains of an ancient race that used to exist in Teyvat.” Aether said, still surprised by the way you roamed to feel the wood of the trees and the grass under your bare feet. Kind of heartbreaking.

“Like the boar we found with Xiangling!”

He wasn’t sure if it was okay to compare both encounters but he could see her point.

“… ‘Wait for us’, they told me, ‘think about your existence and find the answer to why your conception is not the atrocity that everyone says you are. May their words not reach you, because we have long ears to hear the words of the gods and not the ones of those who defile earth’… ” You pronounced after decades of not needing to use the language you were taught, with one hand on your chin and eyes closed to concentrate. All you had left was the few memories you preserved inside your mind and heart.

“With ‘they’ you mean your parents?”

You nodded.

“And what happened next?… ” Asked back the tiny companion of the blond guy that rescued you.

“I got bored and I fell asleep.” You admitted, carefree about it, shrugging your shoulders and sighing.

A total waste of your youth.

“Eh!? Then you didn’t thought about those things? That sounded important!” Paimon seemed disappointed for your answer, while Aether held his forehead, without having a clue of how he was supposed to react.

That was the day you joined their party! New team member, (Y/N) strikes in!

Or something like that,,

“H-Hey! We could use a hand over here!… woah!” The little white girl scold you but from your high sit on the top of a big rock only a exaggerated yawning can be heard. Paimon crossed her arms to almost immediately duck down to dodge a fire bullet from the Fatui. Aether didn’t say anything, he was concentrated fighting.

“Oh, yeah… You’re doing great. Go, Aether, go…”

“Was that supposed to be a cheering?!”

“Hey, calm down” You said “He doesn’t need my help. Just take a look, he’s an adventurer. If I meddle it will be really boring for him.”

“Hmp! Now Paimon believes that you were lying when you said that you were a well refined fighter!” She was floating around you, ignoring the battle of his blond friend. Like a pesky bee, the only thing you did was avoiding her furious gaze. “Don’t ignore Paimon! How can you not hear with those ears!? That’s it! Paimon will give you a ugly nickname!”

“What about ‘extinct deaf elf-der’?”

“Yeah, that’s a good one!” She agreed immediately, then she shook her head, pointing at you like a guilty criminal. “Wait, Paimon doesn’t need your suggestions!”

When the last Fatui was defeated Aether turned back to face both of you, sighing because of the new arguing between you two. His sword disappeared and some steps were took to get closer.

Your eyes met each other, a slight smile in your face after looking him safe and sound. So confident but so unaware of the remain danger hiding. Your expression became a surprised one, then your gaze sharped like a killer sight.

You left Paimon on top of the rock when you jumped down, summoning your own weapon you ran straight to where Aether was. The traveler panicked just a fraction of second before loosing sight of you.

Next thing they know was that a you were behind him, facing at the nothing with a defensive pose, just a second of silence before a impact could be heard. Some dirt and dust was lift as the pair of Fatui Pyro Agents became visible again. They stayed there, defeated in one hit.

“Like I said. It would be pretty boring if I meddle...” Aether and Paimon were shocked, none of them felt their presence, not even the heat of the pyro delusion. Your weapon disappeared in the air, and your hands rested on your waist. “Dear Seven, that was intense.” Looking at your friends you sighed, with the laziness on your body language. “It was my turn to cook dinner, right? What a pain having to eat again… ”

Acting that relaxed after that really made them went Ô_Ô and Ö

A silent speech, where devotion and gratitude are the best topics of conversation. The message that is heard even if there’s no words in between. Just a exchange of gazes. Little signs of affection that are shown when it’s necessary.

Your family was gone. No clues about their whereabouts could’ve found in that cave of where you came. Not even the skeletons of a couple holding their hands and petrified in a sobbing position. Not even ashes.

When you have been thinking about the most unimportant things in the universe for so long you can deal with the lost faster than anyone else. Getting the idea of no remain evidence of your parents and feeling that it wasn’t that heartbreaking.

Maybe because you gained a new family almost immediately.

Still you could empathize with Aether, he still had his precious memories with his sister, still remember her face and her voice. And most important was that he knew that she was still roaming Teyvat, waiting for him.

Even if they leave behind Paimon and you at the end of the trip.

Or even if they just leave you behind.

‘I’m okay with that.’

You thought, stroking Paimon’s hair when her head found a comfortable place to rest in your lap. You thought, moving your shoulder so Aether wouldn’t have neck pain. Both sleeping peacefully and you staying awake night by night.

You’ve slept enough, for so long besides.

Somehow the flames of the campfire are warmer now that you have someone to look how the fire dance in the night.

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“I see, so you were serious when you told me that your companion was a mystical extinct creature, weren’t you?” Albedo’s hand went up to hold his chin, analyzing you from distance.

“They are half of it, actually.” Aether answered back, notice how Sucrose was asking you permission to check your features. The sparkle in her eyes made you accept her petition after feeling with the back against the wall.

“Your ears are like mine! Look, look!” Klee pulled your shirt, then she pointed at the side of her head.

“… Still the shape of both are quite different, the length too.”

Years of isolation really are hitting hard right now. You felt overwhelmed and somehow shy when Sucrose hold your face to have a better look.

You follow the traveler to everywhere, no matter the place, you were there. Like a shadow, sometimes just a spectator, other times like an actual active team member.

“Who would’ve tell that our Honorary Knight also has his own knight watching his back.” Kaeya’s voice has that joke but charming tone, as always.

Day after day, it’s the same, everyone talking you through Aether. Like some kind of translator.

“More like a human shield.” Your hand landed on top of Aether’s head, not agreeing with his explanation.

Bonk.

“I guess everything’s better than being Emergency Food.”

“Hey!”

“Haha! You three are quite a team, aren’t you?”

Of course you were. Mondstadt, Liyue, you name it. You could assure that every place in this two nations have at least one story about the team.

You knew that the most brave and magnificent outlander in Teyvat didn’t need a guardian, he can defend himself (somehow even if he’s still using that dull blade).

Bodyguarding also sounds like such a hassle…

You only provide a last resource help when was needed, sometimes also helping with some puzzles and mysteries.

The long eared people was known to be wise and smart people that searched for the full comprehension of the world. Also such a nerds and fans of knowledge. So, even if you considered yourself dumb, in your blood was the instinct of looking for the truth, and sometimes that impulse could be really annoying.

You were always near enough to reach him. Pulling his scarf from behind to move him away from danger. Countering after he gets hit.

Always in a place where you could reach him.

You just needed to extend your arm and you would catch Aether. It was always like this. Always with you jumping in the middle of the crossfire to shield them if it was necessary.

It’s always like this.

Until the day you three set a foot in Inazuma’s land. And a bad feeling of a imminent catastrophe made your shiver.

A new nation, a new problem to solve. But a war? Boldness and stupidity sometimes looks like the same thing, but no matter how many times you repeat this to Aether, he would still ran into problems.

And you would follow him, until your debt is paid, until his travel is done.

It used to be like this.

But then you failed him after being unable to move because of the fear that paralyzed your body. The day Aether faced Shogun Raiden in the ceremony. The day you heard the broken voice of a god inside the Shogun you also fell apart. It was painful, cruel, a void of anger and sadness.

Jumping into danger, without you behind.

You tried to ran between the goddess and your savior, you tried to get closer to at least be useful one last time as the shield you promised to be.

You tried.

But, for the first time, your hand didn’t reach him.

The void of despair and darkness that could be heard inside the Shogun devoured him.

The tears of panic and fear in Paimon’s eyes. The way the Shogun lifted her sword to end his life. The way you were paralyzed because of her presence, forced to be part of the crowd and presence his execution.

That day your facade of laziness faded away, the real feeling of being a knight burnt along your proud. It was so annoying, it was so unnecessary, but still you couldn’t ignore it.

“Are you… are you sure that you’re okay? We don’t have to find the Sangonomiya resistance today. If you need to rest then-” Your hands were shaking when you placed them in Aether’s shoulders, holding yourself for tearing up.

“We have to keep going. I’ll be fine.”

“Besides, if we stay near Inazuma this night they could find us! Paimon won’t be able to sleep like that!” Your mouth opened to counter their arguments, but not a single word dared to go against Aether’s plans.

They could see it in your face. The worry, the remains of shock and fear, the guilty.

“Don’t try to look strong then. If you get tired, tell us. I can carry you in my back.” Even if you were offering help your voice was serious, so cold but so hurt at the same time that nor Aether or Paimon knew what to said to bring the old you back.

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“… Aren’t you coming?” You could hear how the door was slid to let him saw you. The lighted spots on Aether’s clothes were purple, just as the lighting that almost end him. Your lips made a concerned and stressed grimace.

The young traveler took a seat next to you, outside the structure, sitting on the wooden steps and looking at the starry sky. The wind was cold but still the soldiers of the resistance were talking normally and the slight feeling of discommodity because of the excessive presence of other people was climbing up your back.

“(Y/N), there’s no need of guard us every night. You also need to sleep.”

“I'm not tired, I think I've gotten enough sleep, at least not to need it until the next century.”

Aether’s expressions went into a sarcastic one, asking if you were serious with just his gaze.

“That’s not how it works.” He said, trying to change the mood. “And if it does, then why are you always snoozing during the day in every chance you get?”

You had the answer to that, but you weren’t sure about telling him.

“Because everything supposed to be boring. Nothing really changed a lot and… looking at the familiar places was depressing.” So easy, so simple, but still enjoying the company, still enjoying the sound of theirs laughs and their own shenanigans. “… Lately, I’ve been thinking that I should not had left the cave. Don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate that you two helped me to be back at the surface, and I really want to help you on your journey, but if you still run into the chaos by own decision I think I could not follow you any longer before being a burden in your adventures.”

Overprotection, an unbreakable shield, frequently avoiding fights, always being pulled back to not be part of the battle. Enemies of the braveness of the traveler.

Worry, panic, an overreaction due to fear of loosing everything again.

‘let me do it’, ‘I got it’, ‘wait here’, ‘don’t get close’.

These day could be described like that.

“So, before I do something worse as an excuse of defend you, please let me find a cave to await. You do what’s is needed and… call me back, or leave me there, anything you think it’s better… ”

You could be pronouncing the words from the very bottom of your heart, but still your face was the same seriousness as the accident almost happened.

And even with that you felt his gloved hand removing the hair that was covering your right ear, revealing how it slightly leaned down, showing sadness unwittingly.

“Hey, cut it out… I’m serious about this… ”

“It doesn’t matter if you think that it’s the best option, you’re still sad about leaving.”

“… That’s cheating.” Removing his hand away from your hair you tried to act indifferent.

“You know the reason why we invited you to came along?”

‘You felt sorry for me.’

“I can’t totally tell the exact reason, but it wasn’t for you to pay us some kind of debt because of saving you.” He crossed his arms, looking at the stars, wondering if his sisters was doing the same. “We don’t need a guardian, we need our friend back. And I know you care about Paimon and me, but still you must enjoy the journey. It’s not fair that you are always aware of every potential danger while we mess around lately.”

An eternal silence, your response is late to appear but somehow Aether can tell that you already have something on your mind.

“Then apologize.”

“… Why?”

“For believing that playing as the hero and jumping to face the Shogun was something you had to do.”

“… but-”

Neither Aether nor you slept that night, the blonde had to listen for hours to all the things that you ever wanted to complain about since you arrived in Inazuma.

You made your position on joining the army of the rebellion very clear, you had no intention of fighting to seek "justice" or "peace". Because after all, that fight did not correspond to you, but if he asked you to, you would protect some soldiers or help to guard the barracks, if he asked you to, you wouldn’t complain about it (at least not that much).

Both had enough of each other’s attitude, but it was okay. Because that was what all of you chose in first place.

292 notes · View notes

whereisten · 3 years

Text

No Overnight Stays (m)

Summary: you’re an escort assigned to a different man for each day of the week. The rules are simple and strict, the money is grand, and simply put, you enjoy your job. But what happens when you start to develop feelings for one—or maybe two—of your clients?

Pairing: Female reader x Mark (x Jaehyun)

Genre: sugar baby!reader, smuttttt, a little fluff and a dash of angst :/ sorry, love triangle

Warnings: alcohol use, cursing, descriptive smut (breast fondling, fingering, oral sex (m and f receiving), cockwarming, slight somnophilia, facial, threesome, cream pie, impregnation kink, dirty talk, sir kink, hair pulling and spanking, double penetration, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, unprotected sex (be safe tho!), rough sex) I hope that’s it lmaooo

Word Count: 5.5K

————-

A man for every day of the week. That was your agreement with your escort agency. They’d set up your schedule so that you’d “belong” to one man for a specific day of the week.

Some days you’d have sex with them, some days you were just their company or a place for them to go when they got tired of their spouses.

But either way, you were paid very handsomely for your services. All you had to do was have your phone on and make sure you were available to provide the services asked of you within the hour. They all had keys to your apartment, so they could let themselves in and wait if you weren’t there.

It was easy and luckily for you, the men you dealt with were all young business men that respected you. Some were rough and demanding, some were soft and shy, but they all made sure you were comfortable with their requests and granted you a safe word. Furthermore, the agency provided you with emergency buttons for you to place in every room, just in case one of your clients got out of hand.

Tonight, you had just finished up with Yuta, an incredibly handsome man that was away from his wife back home in Japan for a 6 month job venture. A pal of his suggested the agency to him so that his needs would be satisfied while he was away from home and based on his preferences and desires, you were his top choice.

He was kind and careful, whispering sweet words into your ear as he fingered you and got you ready. He treated you like you were his wife, and you often felt your face become warm. But when he was inside you, he pushed deep and hard, making sure his hips met with your ass as he bent you over the table.

“Ahh fuck..” he curses while releasing himself into you and tugging on your hair harshly.

He pants and pulls himself out, watching as his cum mixed with yours leaks down your shaking legs.

“Did you eat?” He asks, zipping his pants as he watches you pull your panties back up.

“No not yet, but I have some leftover spaghetti that is calling my name.”

You move your hair out of your face.

“I can grab something for you before I leave..what would you like?” Yuta shimmies his jacket onto his toned body.

He was always sweet like this, unlike some men that just left.

“Ohh—Hmm...there’s a place—“ you started but his phone interrupted you.

“Oh..I’m sorry..it’s her..” He looks up at you slowly and you can see the regret fall on his face. He really loved his wife, he couldn’t help but feel guilty sometimes.

“I-I have to go.”

He turns to leave and you walk behind him to lock the door.

“Hey hun! I just left work!” His voice echoes in the hallway.

You sigh and walk to your bathroom with a slight limp. Yuta always stretched you out and left you aching slightly, but you knew it was something a little warm water would fix.

While you stood under the hot water like a sinner bathing in hell, you thought about your life. Were you really happy? Sure, the easy money you made and the “free” upscale apartment you lived in were amazing. How could you ask for more?

Well that’s just the thing, your heart didn’t care about these material things sometimes, it wanted a person. Someone that would love you, really love you. However, with a lifestyle like this, how could you expect to find a partner that would be okay with it? How could you devote time to them?

You shook your head and stepped out of the grand shower.

You poured yourself some wine and sat by yourself on the couch. It was a typical night for you. When all the fun was over, you were alone.

———

[The Next Day]

You went grocery shopping when Mark dinged you on the agency’s app. He’d be at your apartment soon so you needed to wrap things up and get back.

Mark was possibly your favorite client. The young single man was very gentle and always asked what you wanted to do. Of course, he knew that he wanted to have sex and that’s what he paid for, but he didn’t feel comfortable with handling your arranged situation that way.

Some days you’d just watch a few movies or go for coffee together. Some days he’d show you new restaurants or museums while you hung onto his arm like an actual girlfriend. He wasn’t afraid to bring you with him anywhere because the truth was that he wanted you to be his...and not just in the sexual or physical way. He wanted to date you.

Having been so consumed with work all the time, he found that you were one of the few things that made him relax and be happy, he could experience life with you and he was incredibly thankful for that.

“Hey Mark!” You struggle to get into your apartment with both arms filled with bags.

“Oh, let me get that for you.” He rushes over from the dining table and to the door to help you in.

After settling all of the bags onto the table, he chuckles. “So I take it you don’t like making two trips?”

You giggle and shake your head. “No..absolutely not. I don’t wanna waste precious time that I could be spending with you.” You teased him and stepped closer.

You held out your arm and flexed it, embarrassingly enough, no muscles showed through. “Plus, can’t you see how strong I am?”

Mark laughs out and leans forward to kiss you.

He holds your face in his hands like you were made of glass, gently caressing your cheeks as your tongue dances with his.

Your arms wrap around his waist so you feel his warm chest on yours. Your eyes shut immediately and you smelled his fresh cologne, like cotton.

He pulls away, kissing your forehead as you regain your steady breathing.

“What do you want to do today?”

Your heart races at his question. You wanted to cuddle, to just be with someone and feel loved. But that would be pushing the terms and conditions.

You search your apartment to avoid his gaze, but he knew you were deep in thought, his kiss had sent your mind into a wild frenzy. What did it mean when an escort was affected by such measly things?

“Come on..don’t think too hard now, tell me what’s the first thing that came into your mind?” Mark leans forward to whisper low into your ear. His voice, deep and husky, makes you even more confused.

You finally look up at him and sigh. “Ahh Mark, you make me feel..” You shake your head.

Were you about to be honest with him and tell him about your growing crush?

His eyes grow and a smile creeps across his face.

“Like sleeping..” You look down again, never seeing his face fall.

“Oh, dude..am I that boring?”

You chuckle and look back up at him to see the genuine hurt in his eyes.

You shake your head and press your hand onto his chest. “No-No, you’re not..it’s just..”

“Y/n...why do you keep looking at me like that?” Mark knew there was something else you wanted, he could see the doubt in your eyes, the internal struggle you faced was coming to the surface. He also knew you drank the night before based on the empty bottle of wine in the living room.

“I-I don’t know,” You chuckle and step away from him. “Maybe I’m still a little hungover. I’m sorry.”

You start to take your things out of your bags. “Help me out, will you?” You pout.

Mark chuckles and takes the bread out of the bag. “I can’t believe I’m paying for this.”

You shrug your shoulders. “You’re the one that asked me what I want to do.”

He sighs. “Okay, touché. But after this, we’ll cuddle and sleep since you’re tired and/or hungover.”

Yeah, it was 6 in the evening, but Mark was just happy to be with you.

“Sounds good.”

After you put everything away, you took Mark to your room and sat him down on the bed.

You took his hoodie off over his head, ruffling his hair in the process. You ran your fingers through it, watching as his wide eyes gazed up at you like you were an angel.

He places both hands on either side of your waist, watching as you unbutton your cardigan in front of him slowly. Mark grows hotter and hotter with each button coming undone, a slight sliver of your beautiful, soft skin growing into your naked chest drives him crazy.

“God, you’re beautiful.”

He licks his lips, tightening his grip on your waist as he brings you down onto his lap. He wastes no time, latching into your nipple and sucking it. His tongue flicks across the nub while your hands run through his scalp, causing a low groan to escape his body.

He aches for you, his member strains against his sweatpants. You feel it press onto your jeans as you also get hot. With the way Mark’s spit coats your breasts, you’re sure you’d be showing through your jeans how aroused you are soon enough.

Your room becomes steamy suddenly, the two of you filling it with moans and whimpers as he massages your breasts.

“B-baby..I want you..” You whine and grind down onto him.

Mark loves when you call him that while begging for more.

He places you down onto the bed, helping you take your jeans off as your mouth falls open.

He drags your panties down your legs slowly, teasingly.

“Baby..please..”

“I thought you wanted to sleep?” He raises an eyebrow as he pries your legs open and moves his face to the space created.

He focuses on your heat, licking his lips when he sees how wet you are already.

“Yeah..but..” your sentence is cut short when he licks a long stripe along your entrance.

“Mark!” You yelp as his tongue surprises you.

He kisses the inner skin of your thigh while still gripping the crooks of your knees. “Yes, sweetheart. Do you want me to stop? Does the little baby want to sleep?”

He asks with a mocking tone, but not without brushing two digits over your clit. You gasp and flinch under him.

“You’re so cruel..”

“Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’ll just fuck you to sleep if that’s what you want.”

He says before pushing his fingers in harder, finding that fleshy spot instantly as your legs widen more. He kisses your bud while looking up at you through dark eyes.

“Am I the best one?” He asks innocently, fingers still pumping in and out of your soaking entrance.

“Y-yes..” you immediately answer without thinking, your mind solely focused on the building tension in your stomach.

He moves his head up and down as he licks your clit. He just needs to apply a bit more pressure and you’ll be in the clouds.

You intertwine your fingers with locks of his luscious brown hair and arch your back.

“More baby, please.”

“Oh look at you begging..” he breathes against your aching pussy.

He fingers pump harder and caress that one spot that he knows will have you reeling in just a few minutes.

“You know..I think you should just be mine..will you be mine?”

He says in between kisses on your clit.

And you’re so close, all you can do is nod and whimper.

You lick your lips while looking at the gorgeous man in between your legs. He locks eyes with you as his tongue works wonders on your core when combined with his fingers.

You clench around him from the sight. He chuckles and cracks a smile at how easily you fall apart. But he doesn’t let you experience the so desperately needed orgasm you need. He withdraws his fingers, a pop echoes into the room.

“Mark?!” You cry out at the sudden emptiness.

Mark mimics your pout and hovers over you.

“Why don’t you answer my question first?”

You caress his face and lick your lips. “Can we talk about this later?”

He shakes his head. “It’s a simple question, y/n. I know you feel it too.”

He was right, you did feel a connection with him, but you couldn’t let him know that. You could lose your job.

“Mark..” you whisper low as you bring his face closer to yours. You lock eyes with him, your gaze shifting from an innocent one to one that is filled with lust and fire.

“The only thing I want to feel right now is your cock..I just want to feel it so deep in my silky, wet pussy.”

He swallows hard as you push your body up slightly to rub your entrance against his crotch.

“Come on, baby..fill me up...I won’t let a single drop escape”

Mark can’t take your lustful words any longer. He pushes his prior thoughts to the side and focuses on easing his painfully hard cock.

He immediately pushes his waistband down and looks into your eyes as he pushes into you. You moan as you feel completely satisfied by his long and girthy cock filling you up and touching all parts of your velvety walls instantly.

He watches your head fall into the pillow behind you and kisses your neck.

“God..I hate the way you make me so fucking horny that I forget what I was even asking..”

It was a lie, Mark knew exactly what he was asking, but decided to push it away since you wouldn’t give in to him.

He rarely cursed when he was with you, a part of you felt that you had awoken something deep within him so you decided to push him along further. He thrusts into you slowly and gently like he usually did. Mark was your typical vanilla sex partner and it made for a great balance to the opposite partners you had. But you wanted to see just how riled up he could get.

“Oh, Mark, just yesterday another man fucked me until I couldn’t walk..how can I be yours if you can’t compete with men like that?”

You hold his face in your hand and look into his eyes.

He chuckles and pushes into you hard and sudden.

“If that’s what you want, Princess, that’s all you have to say..you know I can do whatever you ask.”

“Be rough with me, make me yours..baby.”

He presses your knees far apart and lifts himself up from your chest.

He slides in and out of you hard, watching as your breasts move up and down from his thrusts.

“You’re the perfect fit for me."

He tilts his head to the side and goes deeper.

His cock curves into you at the perfect angle, making you clench and arch your back more.

You’re sprawled out under him, your knees to your chest as you bite your bottom lip and feel that tension build again.

He runs a hand down your warm chest and stomach, his fingers draw circles onto your skin, causing small fires to dance across it. The pads of his fingertips then lift the skin above your pussy, exposing your clit to him.

He taps it gently and hums to himself. “So pretty..”

He thrusts into you hard as you squeal.

His other hand finds your throat and grips it.

“Gonna fuck you to sleep just like you asked..but then..I won’t leave..I’ll stay inside your pretty pussy since it’s mine..and I’ll fuck it again in the morning...since it’s mine.”

Mark wasn’t asking anymore. He was going to make you his. And as much as you wanted that to happen, you were nervous as you had a job to fulfill. If he stayed over and into the next morning, he’d be cutting into your other client’s day. You could be caught with him and receive a complaint for breaking the “no overnight stays” rule.

“I’m so close..” You run your hands down his abs and watch as he pounds into you from above. He pants heavily, his palm feels sweaty around your throat.

“Can’t wait to cum deep inside you..nothing will leak out..Isn’t that right, baby?” His fingertips move faster into your clit. Mark was always great at finding your sweet spots and it was because he truly cared about your pleasure.

You nod and clench around him again, feeling the head of his cock twitch.

His movement stutters from the action, he falls forward as his grip on your neck tightens.

He cums into your body, filling you to the brim with everything he has.

You climax as well, scratching into his back as you arch into him more. Your eyes roll into the back of your head as you curse.

That was the first of many climaxes for that night. You’d take breaks in between, but soon Mark was eating you out or fingering you until your nails dug into his back and you cried out his name loud enough for the neighbors to hear.

He wasn’t letting up on his promise to make you his, as each orgasm was intense and left you feeling dizzy. He was unlike any partner you had, making sure to care for your needs more than he did for his. He never even asked that you kiss him anywhere else but his mouth.

Mark releases your throat and lays on top of your sweaty body as you both climax one last time.

“You really aren’t leaving, are you?”

“I meant what I said. You’re mine.”

A brief moment of silence rests between the two of you as you massage his scalp.

“I mean, I can leave if you want me to..”

He looks up at you with round, doe eyes and your heart breaks.

“No—no..stay..” Sleep takes you over suddenly.

He watches your cute face and smiles. “Mind if I wake you up in the best way possible?”

You chuckle with your eyes closed.

“And how will you do that?”

“You’ll just have to wait and see..”

He lays back down and falls asleep on your chest.

———

[The Next Morning]

It’s the afternoon of the next day when Mark wakes up before you do and finds his cock engulfed in your pussy still.

He swallows hard, immediately feeling himself grow when he sees your eyes closed as you pout your lips and breathe heavily.

“Y/n..” He whispers, but your eyes don’t open yet.

“Y/n..” He says once more, this time he picks himself up and cages you in between his arms as he holds himself up above your head.

He kisses your forehead. “Wake up, Princess.”

He then buries his head into the crook of your neck and fondles your breast.

He couldn’t hold back much longer, but he wanted you to be awake first. He lays sloppy kisses onto your shoulder before biting it.

“Mmm..Mark..” You say drowsily.

And with the sound of your soft voice and the feeling of your delicate fingers on his waist, Mark begins to thrust into you.

Your eyes are still closed as he fucks you into consciousness, the post-dream haze combined with his kisses and long thrusts makes you feel light headed.

“How does it feel, baby?”

He moves in and out of you while panting.

You mumble something while enjoying the warmth of his pulsing body on yours. He presses his thumb on your clit, rubbing circles.

“Mm..faster, baby.” you mumble as your heat grows, your eyes closed while you enjoy your realistic dream.

He then intertwines his fingers with yours, and moves into you faster. Within just a few minutes he cums hard as you shake around him.

And it’s not until he pulls out of you and flips onto his back that he realizes there’s another man in the room.

At the edge of the bed stands a tall handsome man with black hair. He stares sternly onto your body with his hands in the pockets of his suit jacket.

“Oh shit!” Mark is frightened and quickly drapes the blanket over you.

“Who the hell are you?” He asks.

You finally pry your eyes open and scratch your head.

“It’s me...y/n.”

“N-no no I mean..who is that and why is he just staring? Dude.. what the hell?!”

“What?” You rub your eyes and look up. And as your eyes focus you see that sure enough it was your Tuesday client, Jaehyun, staring intensely at you.

“Oh fuck..” You struggle to sit up straight in the bed. “Jaehyun..I’m so sorry, I overslept and-and..”

“Shhh..it’s okay, y/n..” His voice is sweet, but his face says the opposite.

“I see someone has gotten quite greedy with you..”

You turn to Mark, and it all comes back to you. He said he would stay over and you knew the risk you were taking, but you allowed him to anyway.

“Do you want me to push the emergency button?” Jaehyun asks smoothly.

“N-no! That won’t be necessary, I let him stay over actually..”

Your face becomes warm, it feels like you were caught by a parent with your boyfriend.

“I didn’t hear my phone go off with the alert saying you’d be coming over, I’m so sorry but he can leave and I’ll get cleaned up and we can start, just give me a few minutes—“

You start to get off the bed, but Jaehyun raises his hand.

“It’s okay, y/n..I know you see other men, that’s your job, isn’t it?” Jaehyun smirks.

He was one of those clients whose calm demeanor was difficult to read. He was intimidating and made you feel like you were up for terrible punishment at any moment. You never seemed to answer his questions to his satisfaction. In part to his recent divorce, he was rough, unforgiving, a stark contrast to Mark who just sat there awkwardly on the bed.

You nod slowly.

His gaze turns to Mark, his hands still in his pockets. “Was my slut good for you?”

“My?” Hold on..she doesn’t belong to you and no, she’s not a slut..”

Without moving his eyes, Jaehyun calls out to you. “Y/n...remove the blanket and open your legs for me..”

You immediately do as he says, but Mark stops you by holding your wrist. “Hey, you don’t have to do that.”

“It’s okay, Mark. This is what I do, please don’t forget that.” You give him a small smile as you lift the blanket.

You bend your knees while widening your legs.

You can feel the cool air hit your moist entrance.

“Now look at her, Mark...look at how much cum is in her beautiful pussy..only a slut can look like that..”

“Oh fuck off..”

“No, YOU fuck off, you’re cutting into my time..or don’t..”

Jaehyun loosens his tie and takes his jacket off.

“As a matter of fact, let’s see how much prettier she looks when she’s filled up with both of us, what do you say Mark?”

Mark begins to panic and turns to you.

“What..“

“Stay...I want to make you feel good too..” you say, knowing that Jaehyun’s proposal wasn’t really a question. He was going to find some way to make Mark stay, it was his way of punishing both him and you.

“Good girl..” Jaehyun zips his pants down, revealing his already hard member. He grew when he watched Mark fuck you out of your sleep. He wanted to do that badly, but understood long ago the rules for this agreement. One of them being “no overnight stays.” But Mark clearly didn’t respect this. Maybe he thought you were his, but surely he was wrong.

Jaehyun wanted you just as badly as he did, and he wouldn’t stop until you were his.

“On your stomach, sweetheart, show him what your mouth can do..”

“Yes, sir.” You’re still weak from the night before but do as you’re told.

“Y/n..you don’t have to..” Mark caresses your face with his thumb.

“I know..but I want to..”

“She wants to please us..isn’t that right, slut?” Jaehyun brings an arm under your stomach to bring your ass up towards him.

“Y-yes, sir.” You struggle to get out once you feel his cock rub against your thigh.

You start by wrapping your hand around Mark’s semi-flaccid length, you pump it up and down while twisting. He groans and sits up straight.

Jaehyun enters you from behind, gripping your hip tightly as he pushes into you hard.

You moan loudly as his long cock stretches you out without warning.

“Ahh..fuck.” You gasp.

He slaps your ass hard, you stumble slightly on your knees but Mark helps you stay up.

“Don't be like that, sweetheart, I see how wet you are. Now, open your fucking mouth.”

“I’m sorry, sir.” You whimper then lick Mark’s tip.

“You’re just a slut with cum leaking out of you all the time, you’re always ready, aren’t you?”

You kiss Mark’s tip then answer Jaehyun. “Yes, sir.”

He hums and slaps your ass again.

He rubs his hand over the area to feel it become warm.

He then pulls back and watches his veiny cock glisten with cum.

Meanwhile, you take half of Mark’s length into your mouth and begin to suck, rubbing the tip on the inside of your cheek as you listen to him groan.

Jaehyun buries himself deep inside you again, pushing past your vibrating entrance and deep into your walls where he feels his cock be greeted with that ticklish spot.

You move your head lower and allow spit to coat Mark’s entire length.

“God..that feels good.” He moans as his head falls back.

You suck harder and continue to twist your hand around his base.

You hum to push him along with vibrations.

The sounds of Jaehyun’s hips slapping against your ass gets louder as he glides in faster.

“Her pussy gets wetter and wetter, tsk tsk what a slut.”

He pushes harder, bending over your back so his abs rest against it. He grabs your hair and pushes your head down onto Mark faster.

You gag and tears escape your eyes as Mark’s length hits the back of your throat repeatedly.

You gag over and over, causing the two men to become even hotter than they were before.

“That’s it, sweetheart, cry for me..”

And you did cry as your throat became irritated and your pussy was being destroyed from the back, Jaehyun stretched it out more than he ever did, but you didn’t want to stop.

You felt like you were being undone, like you wouldn’t be able to talk or walk after, but it didn’t matter, just as long as you pleased these two men.

Jaehyun’s hand finds your clit, slapping against it before rubbing circles onto it.

You moan loudly, sending a delicious vibration onto Mark. He whimpers and pulls out of your mouth, before watching spurts of white leave his tip and decorate your mouth and tongue.

Your mouth stays open as Jaehyun pulls your head back towards him now. Your breasts jump forward and back as Mark pants and watches you be brought to paradise by another man.

“Sir..I’m going to..”

Jaehyun grunts. “You don’t deserve to cum, but I’ll let you because you’re a needy slut.”

And with that, you quiver around Jaehyun, gripping the pillows and shaking uncontrollably.

Mark feels himself becomes aroused yet again from the sight.

Jaehyun pulls out quickly and sits against the headboard. He picks your body up and puts you over his lap, but doesn’t push his cock into you yet.

“Mark..I think you should return the favor.” Jaehyun says as he grabs the crook of your knees with each hand opens you up.

Mark gladly agrees and puts his head in between your legs once more. He licks up your essence and begins to eat you out, nuzzling his nose against your clit as you cry out.

Jaehyun takes your chin and turns your fucked out face towards his while you struggle to close your legs.

“S-sir..please, it’s too much.”

Jaehyun shakes his head. “Nothing is too much for a whore like you..Mark loves your pussy, and so do I.”

He kisses your shoulder as a strand of hair dangles in his forehead.

He flicks your nipples with his fingers, watching as you fall apart in his arms.

Mark’s head moves from side to side as he licks your bud and pushes as hard as he can.

“Look at you..open wide for two men.”

Jaehyun whispers into your ear as you tremble. “We won’t stop until we’ve both put a baby in you...but you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Yes..fuck..yes..sir.”

Soon, you’re cumming again and seeing stars.

Mark pulls away and wipes his mouth, watching as your wetness ruins the sheets below you.

“Do you think she can take us both?” Jaehyun still plays with your hard nipples.

Mark chuckles. “I’m not really into sharing..but we should find out.” He caresses your face again as your mouth falls open.

He puts his thumb into it, watching as you suck it hard with your teary eyes wide.

Jaehyun lifts you up slightly so he can enter you again.

You fall onto him easily but whimper as you try to overcome your sensitivity.

Jaehyun forces you open wide with his hands on your knees, your feet dig into the bed as you bounce up and down on him. His touch sends electricity through your veins.

Mark holds his cock in his own hand, stroking it while watching you fall onto Jaehyun’s length.

Your beautiful entrance is soaked and he just wants to feel it too.

Jaehyun looks into Mark’s hungry eyes and lets out a low growl.

“Go on, Mark. Fuck her like the needy whore she is.”

Jaehyun scoots down on the bed more so he is laying under you. Mark lays down over you and guides his tip along your slit.

“Mark..” you cry out while Jaehyun thrusts into you from below.

“Are you sure?” He licks his lips.

You nod and take his length into your own hand. “Yes..”

You push him into you slowly as Jaehyun pauses his movement. Your head falls back as your pussy is stretched out once more. You’d never done this before, but then again, you’d never been with two men.

“Shit...” you close your eyes tightly as both men fill you up.

Jaehyun sits up, holding you in his arms as he guides you up and down both his and Mark’s cocks now.

You’re so right and Mark is embarrassed to admit that he is just moments from climaxing already, the friction of two cocks against your tight silky walls driving all of you crazy.

“Mmm..sweetheart, you’re doing so well..”

Jaehyun whispers. His tone is gravelly and he is just moments away also, sweat pricking at his forehead as you glide onto him.

The sound of skin against skin and loud moans and groans fills the room, you wonder if your neighbors will make a complaint. But right now, in this moment of complete ecstasy, you could care less.

Jaehyun’s tip twitches, vibrating against Mark’s and hitting your g-spot. You all come undone within seconds and experience an orgasm that lasts for what feels like an eternity.

All three of you collapse onto the bed, and you and Jaehyun fall asleep soon after. You should’ve cleaned yourself up, but your body aches and feels weak after orgasming so many times.

After 20 minutes of just watching you sleep, Mark gets up from the bed and goes to your bathroom. He comes back with a washcloth and cleans you up gently while watching you snore lightly.

Jaehyun’s back is turned to you so he can’t see Mark taking care of you by cleaning your exhausted body.

Before he leaves, he drapes your blanket over you and kisses your forehead. He also leaves a bouquet of flowers that he bought from someone selling them just outside of your apartment building. He went back to your apartment just to leave them there for you when you woke up. But really, he just wanted one last chance to see your beautiful face as you slept peacefully.

You wake up hours later to find yourself alone once again. You hop out of bed but soon remember what happened based on the aching feeling in your legs.

You’re happy to see that you're clean however, the sticky feeling of cum no longer being all over you. Someone must’ve cleaned you up, you thought to yourself.

With a limp, you walk out to your kitchen and see take-out food on your counter with a note attached, beside it you also see a bouquet of flowers.

“Thanks for today, see you next week. Love, J.”

Jaehyun left you food, flowers, and cleaned you up before he left. Maybe he did care for you after all. This is what you thought as you smiled to yourself.

939 notes · View notes

qyllenhaal · 3 years

Text

❛ Bunny ❜

Series: The Devil I Know

Senator!Chris Evans x Reader

Word Count: 4.9k~

Summary: Reader Surprises Chris on their week long vacation together with something that he's been begging for for a long time

warnings: 18+ only!!! Unprotected sex, daddy kink, dom/sub elements, roleplay, creampie, breeding kink, cumplay, age gap (reader is in her late 20s)

A/N: I'm hoping to start taking requests soon! I've been so busy with life that my ideas for this series are drying up.

Enjoy!

Y/n would be a damn liar if she said she wasn't turned on by the roleplay idea that Chris brought to her and the way he kept calling her his "bunny." She scoffed at him and rolled her eyes at first, it just sounded so ridiculous to her, but the more she thought about it. the easier it became to envision it happening.

Her in a Playboy bunny costume sounded so basic to her, but the excitement in Chris's eyes showed that it meant something to him.

She felt guilty as he explained how boring his sex life was before meeting her. He was trying to make her feel better about the idea, and feel a sense of pride, instead she felt loathsome. She wasn't able to determine if she felt more sorry for him or his wife. Their marriage was dying anyway and was going to die whether or not Y/n was in the picture, but she still felt awful about being the final death blow to their multi-decade marriage. He wanted to take her up to his father's cabin up north while his wife stayed home? It sounded good in theory but something about it made it hard for her to say yes.

"C'mon, you deserve a break. You've been working your ass off to get Withers primaried and you actually have a chance of unseating him. Don't you think you should relax? You work so hard all the time honey."

It was all too enticing to say no; to be whisked away from an entire week and ravished by her lover.

"There she is," he teased when he saw that smile forming on her face, "I knew you'd come around to it. I'm going to make sure you don't lift a finger, and you get to taste my famous ceviche."

He kissed her cheek and let her get back to work before she could come up with a reason that causes her to change her mind.

Y/n kept her excitement to herself but she was over the moon. Once she let the guilt simmer, she began to fantasize about the possibilities of an entire week of having Chris all to herself without interruption. They'll be able to act like a normal couple if only for a week.

She got herself through two weeks of more tough work, but it was fulfilling to know that she was succeeding in her work, and that she had a trip with Chris on the horizon.

He hadn't brought up his little idea since she'd agreed to go on the trip. It seems as if he forgot all about it as his shock that she said yes had consumed his thoughts. Y/n couldn't let it go though. She couldn't stop thinking about it now that they were going to be gone for an entire week. She could wear that little get up for days and give him a sight that's going to be etched into his brain until the day he dies. Y/n loves that she has that effect over him; the ability to make his heart race and his cock hard with just a simple look.

It was not a cheap costume to buy because she didn't just want to buy any regular costume that could be bought at party city. No, she wanted something that was better quality and could endure Chris attempting to tear it off her body. She paid extra for the shipping so she had it in time.

When it was finally in her possession, she stared at it in awe. She was tempted to put it on, to see how she looked in it, but she wanted it to be a surprise for both herself and Chris. The material it was made of felt nice; the entire costume looked like it could've been owned by a real playmate. It wasn't often that Y/n felt overwhelmingly sexy, but she did just simply staring at the costume in its precious box. Chris was up in age, she hoped he didn't have a heart attack.

"It's so beautiful up here."

When Chris said a cabin up north, she didn't think all the way up north in Maine. But it was perfect. Only two weeks into fall but the trees were filled with vibrant red, orange, and yellow leaves.

The cabin was near a river that held the reflection of the trees. It seemed as if it had gone untouched for years, but it was filled with pictures. Y/n could pick out the face of a younger Chris in some of the photos, but everyone else was unrecognizable.

"That's my grandfather," he interrupted her thoughts when he caught her lingering on a particular picture.

She glanced at him before bringing her eyes back down to the image again. "You look so much like him," her fingers skirted across the glass. She felt a weird pang of longing hit her in the stomach. It's as if Chris wasn't just a few feet away from her. Maybe what she felt inside was shame disguised as something else.

"C'mon," he grabbed the framed picture from her hand and placed it back where she found it, "I wanna show you something."

Y/n trailed behind him, her hand in his, as he guided her through the house and up the stairs.

Chris led her upstairs and to another set of stairs. He took her to a dusty attic which somewhat confused her. Then grabbed a box that looked older than her.

"Remember that time you tried to show me that constellation...what was it...Be- Belt- B-"

"Betelgeuse."

"Yea that was the one," he took the top off of the box and she peered into it, "now you can show me other star thingys in the sky."

She laughed but wrapped her arms around his neck. It was an unsuspecting gesture from him, but she welcomed it nonetheless. He could get really sentimental at times and it would just make it harder on her that she couldn't publicly love on him.

"It's great Chris. Let's just hope the skies are clear one of these nights."

He smiled and kissed her cheek for the nth time today.

"Alright. I'm gonna go get started on my famous ceviche. You enjoy yourself however you want. Walk around, explore the place," he stroked her cheek before leaving her alone to go get started on dinner for the two of them.

It had been a long day of driving and all Y/n wanted to do was go to sleep, but something was buzzing inside of her. She hated that Chris's dinner and "famous ceviche" was probably going to go to waste because if her plan works successfully then he isn't going to give a damn about dinner.

Y/n made sure she packed the box holding the costume at the very bottom of her suitcase. She held her breath as she held it up in the air and stared at it. She's sure that she could wear a garbage bag and Chris would still want to fuck her but she couldn't stop herself from being so nervous about putting it on.

She did it anyway and was relieved when what she saw in the mirror looking back at her wasn't so bad. In fact, she looked sexy. The look was complete with the bunny ears and bowtie. She wore a simple lipstick, one that was going to be smeared later on, paired with coats of mascara. At the end of night Y/n wanted to see the proof of his handiwork.

Even though she knew he wanted this, she was nervous about how he'd feel about her "act". She's been deliberating for a week whether or not she should go all the way with the fantasy but why not? Chris deserved it after convincing her to come on this trip. Besides, he works hard too.

"Hun, the food is ready!"

A few seconds of silence didn't make him flinch, but after a few more minutes passed and he didn't hear footsteps coming down the stairs, he was confused. Another call of her name resulted in nothing but silence; she didn't even respond to "Button."

She could be asleep, he thought, but he was still curious. If she was then he could at least catch a glimpse of her sleeping peacefully, put the food away, and then come join her.

"Y/n?" His voice got softer as he approached their bedroom. It was cracked enough for him to see that the light was on. He pushed it open and there his girl was. On the bed and dressed like she stepped out of his dreams.

"What is this?" His laughter was mixed with interest and disbelief. Just some time ago she was vehemently saying "no!" regarding his idea and now she was dressed like a Playboy bunny.

"Do you like it, daddy? I got it just for you."

Chris felt himself hardening in his jeans. Sheer tights stretched over her thighs and he just wanted to rip it off her body. She looked good enough to ruin.

"Of course I like it Button," he cooed as he approached her waiting body on the bed. He touched the material of her outfit still in a state of disbelief. This was his ultimate fantasy.

"I'm glad you like it. I did it just for you daddy," her voice was soft, girlish, and coquettish as she palmed his cock through his jeans. He swears he could cum just from this if she kept it up. He grabbed her hand to stop her.

"You're a naughty little bunny, aren't you?"

"Nooo daddy I've been good," she inched herself backwards on the bed before slowly turning onto her stomach all the while keeping eye contact with him, "I've been a good girl."

"I suppose you have," he didn't even try to argue against her claims. That pout on her lips made him incredibly harder.

Chris ran his hands over her ass and she mewled softly at his warm, strong hands on her. Y/n closed her eyes, a cocky smile on her lips knowing that she probably turned his brain into mush. She pushed her ass into his touch for more.

"The things I want to do to you..."

"Tell me daddy. What do you want to do to me?"

"Uh uh, you don't go demanding things around here. You've been a good girl, but I can easily change my mind. I can make you take my fingers and edge you while you wish it was my big cock splitting you open, but I don't think my bunny wants that."

She pouted and pressed her face into the bed. Chris chuckled at how easily her demeanor changed. He put his knees on either side of her legs and grabbed her hips to drag her ass to his pelvis. She gasped at the swift movement whimpered when he started to mime fucking her.

"Oh baby you look so good like this. I don't know if I want to keep you all pretty and in this costume while I fuck you, or take it off of you and ruin that cute little face of yours."

He had plans to do both, but he liked to hear her whimper when he told her about the utter filthy things he was going to do to her. If she thought he was going to rip it off of her without savoring how good she looks then she's wrong.

He's so grateful that he packed that polaroid Y/n gave to him as a birthday gift. It was how he got around her "no pictures" rule. She never let him take pictures of her, not even on the second phone he bought just to contact her. How could he not document how she looks after cumming hard for him? Or when he leaves a trail of white all across her bare chest? He often had to rely on his memory, but he planned on this trip being different.

"Stay just like that Bun."

Y/n broke her character for a little bit, rolling her eyes and relaxing her arched back when he left the room. Sometimes he did little things that annoyed her, but the way she jumped back into her character when she heard him come back showed her that the annoyance was just a façade.

"So perfect," the camera's shutter fired and the camera spit out the first ever photo he has taken of her.

Y/n wanted to protest against him, but she stayed silent. It wouldn't hurt to have a few polaroid's as keepsakes; she even looked back at him and made eyes at the camera.

Chris could spend all day photographing her, but the strain in his pants was becoming too painful. He placed the camera down and stood at the edge of the bed.

"Come put that pretty little mouth of yours to use."

Y/n hopped up from her position and found herself on the floor in between his legs as he sat on the edge of the bed. She clumsily fumbled with his belt and fastener on his pants. "Eager little bunny, slow down a bit," he taunted.

She tried to listen, but she's desperate to get him in her mouth. His hard cock springs out from its restraint and almost hits her cheek. She gasps lovingly at the pre-cum seeping from his blunt head. She wanted to taste it, but she didn't do it without Daddy's permission. Instead she wrapped her hand around his length and squeezed him.

Chris watched her stare at his cock in awe, like she wasn't already familiar with it. She gave him a few languid pumps and he sighed at her soft touch. He thought about how beautiful it would be to paint his cum across her breast. She looked like an absolute sex-pot; it was hard for him to control himself.

"That feels so good, bunny. You're such a good girl — keep pumping me...a little faster bun... good girl," his praising voice was as smooth as a cat's purr. Y/n felt the presence of her arousal when her sex pressed against the material of her costume.

The pre-cum oozing from his tip made her mouth water. He didn't instruct her to do anything further, but she couldn't stop herself from wrapping her lips around his length. He didn't seem to have a problem with it either because he sighed and pushed her mouth further down on his cock.

"You're so beautiful like this bunny...my precious girl," he cooed between breaths.

Her mouth felt like heaven, her warm tongue laving him with saliva and washing pleasure over him. He felt the muscles in his lower abdomen spasming as she sucked on him faster and feverishly. The concentration on her face was so cute to him, but greatly juxtaposed by the light makeup that was beginning to smudge on her face.

His cock hit the back of her throat and she gagged on him. Y/n tried to pull herself off, but he kept her still, forcing her to relax her throat while he filled her mouth.

"That's it girl — fuck — you're going to make me cum. Is that what you want? Me to cum down that pretty throat of yours?"

Y/n tried to shake her head no and say out loud, but she was muffled by his cock. She loves to watch him jerk over her tongue or other parts of body until he cums, but she wanted him to cum while he was fucking her; he could always paint her tits later.

"You don't want me to cum down your throat bunny? Where do you want me to cum?"

Chris knew she was unable to answer, but that was apart of the thrill. His ego was through the roof and the sense of power he felt because of this was astounding. She made him feel so many things at once, but all he was concerned with now is seeing her body shiver with pleasure.

He let go of his physical grip on her and she took the opportunity to come up from her. Her lips were pink and there was a line of saliva collecting her mouth to his cock.

"Look at you, so pretty," he petted her as he stared into her eyes that held a glossy look of desire for him and him only, "get on the bed bunny."

He wanted to worship her. He wanted to make her cum over and over again until his name was the only thing left on the tip of her tongue. As she laid out on the bed for him, in a costume just for him, he wondered how he got so lucky with her. They were so different, but they were somehow meant for each other.

"You're so gorgeous," his hands glided down her stocking-covered thighs. He squeezed her flesh and he groaned as if he could feel what he was doing to her. She made him dizzy just from how beautiful she was.

Y/n's body anticipated every stroke of his hands on her body. He didn't leave an inch of her exposed skin untouched. He touched and looked at her like she might disappear at any moment. It was his mission to memorize how her body feels under his touch.

"Daddy," she whined, not being able to stand to ache between her legs anymore. She isn't sure what she wanted him to do, she just wanted him to do something.

"Be patient, sweet thing. Let me take in how beautiful my little bunny looks."

"You like when I dress up for you, daddy?" She further parted her legs as a suggestion for him to place himself between her legs. Chris picked up on what she was doing, but he didn't follow through.

"My perfect little bunny," his voice trailed off as he palmed her breast through the costume.

Y/n moaned and arched into his touch. It wasn't long before he was pawing at the top of the costume to free her breast. The costume was tight against her body, but he managed to get what he wanted. He cupped her tits before he leaned down to wrap his lip around her nipple. His thumb teased the other one, stroking it to life. Her delightful sighs sounded heavenly.

"Feels so good," Y/n whined. She tried to grind against him in desperation but he wasn't having any of it. More of his weight was pressed against her to keep her still. He switched over to sucking on her other nipple. His eyes met hers before lightly closing from the feeling of ecstasy.

The mess that was forming between her legs was becoming unbearable. Y/n knew for a fact that she soaked through her costume and with just one swipe of his hand, Chris would be able to feel it. She didn't say anything but she was just so impatient and wanted him to give the same attention to her sex. But he wanted to savor her in this costume before he takes it off of her and just fucks her in the bunny ears.

"This body is so perfect."

As his hands slowly slid across her stomach, the cogs began to turn in her head; she wanted this night to fulfill all of his fantasies.

After taking his sweet time with her body, Chris was finally getting her out of the costume. It won't be the last time she wears it this week, but it was bittersweet to see her out of. However her body alone was driving him wild. She still had the bunny ears on which made her look incredibly cute.

"My lil' Bunny has been so patient for me," he kissed her cheek before moving to kiss the front of her throat, "I'm gonna reward that pretty pussy of yours."

Y/n felt the lust boiling over as Chris moved down her body and his was finally home between her legs. "You got so wet for me bun," he taunted her. His fingers prodded at her slit but didn't push in all the way like she needed. It was torturous to tease her when she had been such an obedient girl for him.

He didn't keep her waiting for long. His tongue was diving through her silky folds to get a good taste of her.

"Undress daddy, baby."

The gruff of his voice made her feel even wetter. She often teased him for being so much older than her but oh did she love all the psychical manifestations of his age. The grey in his hair drove her wild, and she loved how grey his beard was whenever he grew it out.

She grabbed at his soft cotton t-shirt and pulled it over his head. The light dusting of grey hair on his chest tickled her fingertips. She couldn't stop herself when she leaned in to nip at his collar bone. Her lips were so sweet on his body making his head spin. She started tugging at his pants while her lips were still on his skin. He did most of the work, but he didn't care, he just needed to be freed of his restricting clothes.

Y/n wrapped her hand around his cock and gently pumped him.

Chris sighed into her ear, "wanna cum on my tongue or my cock bunny?"

"Your cock daddy! Bunny needs your cream inside of her," she whined.

He thought about fucking her the entire drive; his mind thinking of all the things they could do alone, but he never thought he be blessed with this.

"My little bunny wants my cock? You want to get on all fours and show me how dripping you are?"

Y/n nodded her head, eyes wide with lust and her bottom lip slightly poking out.

"Good girl. Show daddy just how pretty you are."

She moved from his arms and laid her head against the bed as her ass stuck in the air. Chris got off the bed and stood against the very edge. His strong hands laid gently against her ass and he pulled her puffy lips apart with his fingers.

"Fuck girl," he groaned, unable to contain the desire he felt," you're dripping. You're dripping for daddy, aren't you? I thought you were a good little bunny, but only slutty bunnies get this wet."

Her body tensed when his left thumb dragged against her clit. It was swollen and so sensitive to his touch.

Chris's cock was hard and ready to be inside of her warm silk. He had brought the condoms that felt like nothing along with him; two boxes since they were going to be together for six more days.

She heard him tearing something up, but she looked back at him and reached up at him.

"No."

"What do you mean 'no'?" He furrowed his brow but still held the half ripped condom wrapper in his hand.

"No condom daddy. I want to feel all of you."

He groaned and he felt his cock become impossibly harder. They had gone back to condoms because Y/n said stopped taking her birth control when she stopped speaking to him, believing that they were possibly going to stop this relationship. She also said she was going to start again, but he just could not remember if she said her doctors appointment was happening this month or next month.

"Are you on the pill?" His tone had a hint of excitement to it, but ultimately he was concerned; she was always strict about protection.

"I don't know," she said feigning innocence, batting her lashes at him and wiggling her hips in anticipation for his cock. This little character she decided to adapt was driving him crazy.

"Don't lie to me girl," he gripped her arm and she whimpered. His rough handling of her had made her even wetter.

"I'm not! I really don't know daddy!"

She knew, and he knows that she does, but he was too weak by the sight of her bent over in her little bunny ears with her wet cunt exposed to him. Her ass began to sway from side to side, calling him to come closer. But what she wanted him to made him think to himself: 'is she fucking crazy?'

"I need you so bad daddy. Please ruin your little bunny," her voice was sweet as candy.

Chris always wanted her but something about this unlocked a deep hunger inside of him. The risk of this made his heart race and sweat form on his skin, but he wanted this just as bad as she did.

"Baby," he placed a hand around his cock to help guide it inside of her, "I'm gonna ruin this pretty fucking body of yours."

He fully sheathed himself inside of her and Y/n sighed with tenderness. The small touch of his hand on her lower back felt so incredibly intimate and she was grateful that he convinced her to come on this trip.

"You feel so fucking good girl," he pulled out just a few inches only to push back in, "I'm going to fill you up. Is that what you want, pretty baby?"

Y/n is unsure what is more taunting: the tone of his voice or his increasing pace. Both of his hands now grabbed her hips and she swooned over how large they felt holding her. He dragged her back onto his cock until he was nearly pounding her. Each thrust was ruining her softly.

His thrust became more wild as he felt her walls grip his entire length. She felt so warm and wet around him. He missed being bare inside of her, feeling her entirety from the inside.

Soon her little bunny ears were falling off of her head as he fucked her hard. There was something so intoxicating about ruining everything that's so perfect about her. He loved that she gave him permission to do so too.

"Look at me," he said through gritted teeth. He grabbed her arm and forced it against her back. Y/n twisted her upper half to look up at him. She placed her hand on top of his for a glimmer of intimacy in this moment of nasty brutal fucking.

"I'm gonna pump you full of me, bunny. Good girls get all my cum."

Every time he slid home inside of her, stretching her completely, she cried out louder. Her thighs trembled and shook with each thrust into her. He was fucking so hard it was almost mindblowing. She always teased him for being an "old man" but he was proving that his age didn't hinder him from pounding into her.

He was getting closer and closer to slipping over the edge. She just feels so warm and tight around him, her contracting walls inviting him to cum inside of her. He loved being able to see her face as she hit every spot inside of her that made her toes curl.

"I feel that pussy tightening up," he spoke breathlessly. He tried to concentrate on his words but her wet cunt rendered him speechless. "Cum for me bunny."

Y/n began to meet his thrust. Lust bloomed in her stomach when she imagined feeling him empty inside of her. They were so incredibly close and if they kept this up they could cum together.

"Give it to me daddy" she whispered, staring back at his face, "please cum inside of me...I've been such a good girl...I need it so bad."

Chris's thrust got sloppy as the muscles in his lower abdomen began to spasm. His entire body felt like it was on fire. Y/n started cumming around his cock and her pussy tightening up hugged his cock and milked him. "Fuck!" He grunted loudly as he fucked the both of them through their orgasms.

Despite her body being too hypersensitive to take anymore, she whimpered when he pulled out of her.

"Keep that ass up in the air."

Chris grabbed her ass cheeks to spread her open. "Push it out for me bunny." His cum came seeping out of her hole and slid through her folds. He spread it around her sex with two fingers before pushing it back into her hole. She gasped when she felt him slide back into her. Her walls clenched around his fingers, still hungry for more. He wanted to fuck her again, but he was too tired to go again.

"You're going to wear me out girl," he joked, laying next to her on the bed. She looked just as tired as him but that look in her eye indicated that she was completely satisfied.

"It's been a long time since you've fucked me like that. I think I should wear that costume more often."

He placed his palm against her face and she leaned into like she always did. She closed her eyes and felt lulled by the sound of his now steady breathing. This moment together felt like it could last a lifetime. Y/n wishes that they could just stay here forever instead of a week. If she never had to think about an empty promise ever again, she'd be content for the rest of her days.

#chris evans x reader #senator!chris #senator!chris evans x reader #chris evans smut #chris evans x y/n #senator!chris evans #smut #tdik series #fic #chris evans

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bonny-kookoo · 3 years

Text

Remedy | JJK x Reader | 💜☁️🔞🤖

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Android!AU, Android!Jungkook, AI!Jungkook

Warnings: mentions of war, PTSD, Panic attack, confused!Koo, soft reader, like my god I just wanna put her in my pocket and keep her safe, aka that’s what Koo wants to do, protective!Koo, praise kink, unprotected sex but izz fine Kookoo can’t knock her up anyways, soft sex, it’s very soft ngl, there’s a bird, some sad Koo, kook cries here and there, comfort and rehabilitation

Summary: JJK, Or J-Jungkook097 was a tactical fighter-type Android, used in modern war as a simple weapon and nothing more. Now retired after serious injuries, he has to adjust to modern life outside the war zone or he’ll get scrapped; and that’s where you come in, a rare human being ready to take on that challenge.

"Ah, what a waste, really." A worker says, looking the body of the Android over. "You sure you don't want him?" He asks, and the older worker shakes his head.

"I can't let him around my kids by himself, and I don't want him to snap around my wife either. He's not suited for my home and family." He says, looking the male robot over, before he pulls out his phone. "I think I know someone who just might take him." He says, hurriedly texting, before he gets a call back.

"Huh. Is he factory reset, or still running?" You ask, as Seokjin connects cords to the back of the android's neck.

"We tried to have him reset himself, but there's been problems." He explains. "He told us he did already, but that can't be true since he'd need a command to do it- his model isn't equipped with those AI options. Maybe his memory overloaded and deleted stuff as a survival protocol, we don't know. He's a military model, after all, they didn't let us see his original save data- they just downloaded it and went their way, leaving him for us to dismantle if he couldn't reset him properly for a new system." He says, as you type in some stuff, before viewing the screen you hold in your hand.

"So he's technically still running on his original warzone-system?" You ask Jin, and he nods, sighing. You furrow your brows, and the older male looks over at your tablet to see what you're looking at. "Are you sure? This is.. his AI settings are all set to.. look at this; companionable, friendly, all his settings are set to a companion-android, not a fighter type." You mumble, confused by this.

"Wait no no no that wasn't like that when I last looked at him." Jin says, taking the tablet from you as he types in some stuff. "Huh. This is weird." He says, showing you something. "Look at the protocol."

You do. "Huh." You say, looking at the last line of code.

Last change made by: JJK_OSADMIN

"He changed his own system." You say, and Jin is standing up now.

"I'm taking him with me, I can't let him-" He starts, but you do as well, placing your hands ontop of the Androids chest as if you're guarding him.

"NO! I already signed, I own him- Jin, I have to look into this- and he's set to friendly, he won't get hostile that easily." You try to reassure him, and he sighs after a while, taking his jacket from the chair close by.

"Keep me updated." He says, as he leaves you be.

The Android still sitting limply on your chair.

"Alright JJK. Time to wake up." You say, closing the small panel before you sit in front of him, waiting for his system to run the commands you had typed in before unplugging him. It takes a moment, but there's movement after that; his body slowly starting to sit properly, muscles moving into place, and system running it's diagnostics to detect any change in hard- or software made. It marks down his eyes, the small patches of skin re-made, and that his body-liquids had been replaced.

He feels good.

His eyes open slowly, iris moving and focusing in Various degrees before they meet your form. "Hello." He simply says. "Are you my new owner?" He asks, and you nod, expecting that question. He's not been factory reset, which means even though his memory was scattered, and his system had been changed, he was still aware of everything vital. He nods, before he looks around. "I'm now supposed to run on the companion protocol, correct?" He asks, and you shrug. He's confused, as you suddenly smile at him.

"I don't know." You tell him. "Companion, Individual- what would you like?" You ask, knowing it will bring his current system to it's limits. He's not made to make decisions like that, and you think it's quite endearing to see him suddenly think like that.

"I.. choose?" He mumbles, before he looks at you seriously. "I'd like to be given a small time frame to properly research before I come to a conclusion." He says, and your eyes widen.

You look at him, still friendly as ever. "So, you want to figure out what you want first?" You ask, and he nods, a bit hesitantly. "Okay. Just tell me when you've made up your mind then." You say, and he nods.

"What are my daily tasks?" He asks, and you shrug again. "This is frustrating." He says, and you laugh at that.

It's weird to hear it. But he notes it down as a positive response from you.

"Just don't burn the house down while trying to cook or something." You joke, and he seems to take it seriously.

"Why would I set your home aflame while attempting to cook? I'm not even capable of either task.." He says, and you get up, grinning.

"Don't worry so much. Just properly charge for now- we'll see what's gonna happen as it happens." You say.

He nods.

Jungkook knows that around 75% of fatal accidents occur in a mere household. He also knows, that a regular home is the safest place to live. Yet there he was, on the floor, holding his ears as an attempt to block out the sound of his nightmares. "Jungkook?" You ask, as you turn off the microwave. He's still shaking as you sit down in front of him, close- but not touching, unknowing if he would react to that negatively or not. "Can you hear me?" You ask, and he hesitantly retracts his hands from his ears, letting the sound in again. The beeping of the microwave is now gone, only the soft ticking of your clock on the wall and the buzzing of your fridge remain. "I'm sorry that scared you." You say, smiling apologetically as he shakes his head, face serious. His eyes move frantically as they glow an orange hue, showing his system status.

"No, I should apologize." He says. "I don't know why I displayed this reaction to a mere household object." He admits, and you open the microwave to take out your meal, before sitting down on the kitchen floor. "You shouldn't do that- the tiles are very cold-" He starts, but you wave him off.

"Its fine. Both." You say. "You're probably still confusing some sounds and things with your past use as a warzone model. So it's normal- your system has to adapt. You have to adapt." You say. "We all need some time to heal after what you've been through." You say.

He sits quietly after those words, watching you as he goes through his research on you. You're a very unusual individual, displaying a lot of behaviors he hasn't seen before. You take care of everything with a sense of care that makes him come to the conclusion that you're probably treating the machines and robots like living beings. Such as the oldschool robot-dog that he's seen under your living room table. It's currently charging, but he's seen you interact with it- genuinely displaying happiness and excitement at the very basic AI of the pet-robot that's missing a leg.

Its broken, just like him. But you're taking care of it, just like you take care of him.

You're very caring with him, too. He's seen you search for skin patches that match his color almost perfectly, even though they were more expensive than the usual models found in stores. You apologize for 'hurting' him, even though it's sometimes nescessary to repair him. You ask him about opinions, and let him roam around freely around the house.

You're a very friendly person.

And he, unknown to you, starts to create new files inside his system.

You're not there when he wakes up the next day.

He scans the house for any movement, but there is none that would lead him to the conclusion that you're there. There's no sign of you, and he becomes frantic, suddenly.

If his system would've worked properly like it should have, he would've remembered that you had told him yesterday that you would make a small trip to the local grocery store around the corner. But his system isn't working properly, already displaying several scenarios of you getting hurt, or vanishing, or leaving him alone.

He’d seen it before, so many times, hell; he’d been the reason of so many deaths in the first place and it never bothered him. So why was his internal system going absolute haywire at the mere idea of something happening to you? It was to be expected really- with how fragile you are, mentally and physically, it was bound to happen at some point. So why, if he knew it deep down already, did it make his pulse race and his skin feel weird?

You’d told him to stay home, but there was no way he’d be able to let you out of his sight. Because no, there were no emotions involved; they’d been restricted for him at the beginning after all, he was simply looking out for you. Probably a bug, maybe his system thought you were someone to be protected, a new mission to keep him occupied, that was probably it. It wasn’t because you had been so sweet with him, it wasn’t because of how gently you were in correcting him whenever he did something bad, it wasn’t because you were an absolute divine being in his eyes.

“Kook?” You said, an almost painful huff of breath escaping you when he crashed into you, holding you, his arms squeezing you a bit and his face burying itself into the crook of your neck, every sense drinking you in, saving the proof that you were okay, you were real, you were completely fine. “I-“ you started, and his eyes ripped open, suddenly realizing that he may be hurting you. As if burned he reacted, hands hovering over your shoulders as he looked you over.

“I apologize, I’m so sorry, does it hurt bad-“ he spoke hurriedly, eyes already glazing over with tears he didn’t even knew he could shed. Why did he suddenly feel so upset? His entire system was overloading, tears finally flowing and disrupting his sight so badly that he didn’t see your face anymore; sending him into panic even more. “I’m sorry- I’m-“ he pressed out, but there was nothing working anymore it seemed.

Only a few minutes later did he slowly come back to his senses, first thing he noticed being the way you held his body close, softly speaking to him while you were petting his head. It was such a weird sensation, yet it somehow soothed his mind back, as he realized that you were both on the ground. He was way too heavy, why were you doing that? But when he tried to get up, you held him tightly. “Take a Moment, Jungkook. You’re okay, I’m okay, just a breathe, yeah?” You said, and he nodded. “Let’s go back inside then yeah?” You softly said, and he nodded.

“But you need to buy groceries. We don’t have sufficient stock of-“ he started, but you giggled, the sound something he knew he liked. He didn’t quite know what to think of his newly found preferences for things, but he simply let it happen for now.

Because liking you could never be a mistake, he decided.

He calls out for you one day, his hands holding something you can't see yet. His eyes are wide open, his optics moving around frantically as he calls again. "Creator, please!" He calls, as you finally spot him, walking over as he looks at you with a worried expression. "Please- I don't know what to do. She flew against our window and probably has a concussion- you can help her, right?" He says, and you don't get curious as to why he immediately knows the birds gender and diagnosis; he can scan the tiny body, after all.

"Ah, come into the kitchen." You say, and he follows quickly, still delicately holding the tiny body in his palm, careful not to drop it. "Lets put her in a box and a nice quiet place, yeah? She'll recover on her own probably." You reassure him as he watches you place her in an old box without a lid. "Put her where you found her, okay? That way she'll know her way back easier." You tell him, and he nods, determined, as he walks back towards where he had found the bird.

Jungkook, in a way, was slowly changing nowadays.

He was a curious being, always eager to learn about the most mundane things. True to his purpose he picked up on things very easily; learning how to draw and paint very quickly. He had recently gotten interested in a video game you used to play before your work took over your time- and you loved seeing him have genuine fun with it.

He wasn't doing things anymore because they were asked of him. Or because they were an order.

He was developing hobbies, you'd noticed.

Of course you kept Jin updated about all of these things, and he had been happy to learn that his reboot was going well- joking around that he was glad he hadn't killed you in your sleep yet. And while, at first, you were quite wary of him walking around the apartment, nowadays, you couldn't imagine Jungkook even hurting a fly.

Just like with that tiny bird.

He was a gentle soul, simply a bit clumsy sometimes- apologizing over and over after breaking your alarm clock once, the alarm setting off another one of his 'episodes'- moments of flashbacks he got from his past purpose in war. You had reassured him and had let him watch as you fixed it again, praising him along when he gave you the right tools.

Praise. That was something he seeked as well.

And it wasn't just that he wanted aknowledgement of his own achievements. It was more your attention that he wanted. He wanted to be around you whenever possible, even sometimes dancing around the topic of maybe sharing a bed one day- but he had also been wary of hurting you in your sleep, by rolling over or something alike.

Always so thoughtful.

But he would be able to hold you that day; when you had complained about being tired, he had suggested a nap to you. Instantly taking on that chance, you laid down, rolling over as he was still on the couch with you, already having laid down prior. He was unsure at first where to put his hands, until he decided to just go for the common human way of affection; holding you close.

And he made a note inside his system, that he truly deeply enjoyed the feeling.

He finds you on the couch, crying, after an argument on the phone. That in itself isn't the issue he's having, however- it's the sudden wave of protectiveness rolling over him, drowning his senses as he walks over to you, his orange glowing eyes now scanning your form. "What did he do?" He asks, knowing that it was a former partner of yours, constantly calling you asking for money. It's a bad habit of yours that you can't seem to say no; and now that you did for once, he had bitten your ear off with bad remarks and names you'd rather not repeat. "I'll hurt him, just say the word. He needs to feel the same pain you do-" He's shaking a little, you can see it now; his hands unsure where to place themselves, his eyes watching over you, his breathing a little faster. He starts again, and you put a hand on his shoulder to stop his words.

“Jungkook no, he didn’t hurt me in like, a physical way.” You tried to explain, tears now forgotten as you try to calm the Android on your couch down- still absolutely terrified by your state. “I’m gonna be fine.” You say, but he doesn’t seem convinced. Or is it something else?

“But why am I hurting?” He asks suddenly, and your eyes widen. Well, why was he? Technically he was capable of understanding emotions, that wasn’t shocking. What was confusing to you however was just how he was able to share your pain. And it was obvious he did; the way his eyes glistened and his body shivered, overwhelmed by whatever was happening. “Why does it hurt to see you hurt?” He almost whispers, lost with the situation.

Jungkook was indeed a very weird android- you’ve noticed that long ago already. He was emotional, sometimes moody, and slowly began to develop an actual personality the more he was living with you.

Something his model shouldn’t be capable of.

And maybe that should scare you- maybe that should worry you, maybe you should call up support for answers, but you don’t. You do what’s best for yourself and what you think is best for him in that moment; you lean forward, and wrap your arms around him. And it doesn’t feel at all like an android you’re hugging in that moment, because an android wouldn’t cry with you. An android wouldn’t hold you like this, wouldn’t tremble in your hold like this. It makes it easy to forget that Jungkook isn’t human.

And that in itself is absolutely dangerous.

Somehow, his system had bypassed the blockade to his emotional capacities.

He had noticed it ever since you had been out to restock groceries by yourself, but he had been a little unsure back then. He now knows, for sure, that something had happened.

It was confusing, to say the least.

So many things were somehow suddenly starting to fall into place for him; his favoritism to being close to you, or his system failing whenever you weren't nearby. It also makes sense that he's standing right in front of your bedroom door that night, knocking as you open it. He feels a weird sense of protectiveness seeing you tired and vulnerable like that, and he sits down on the side of the bed where you join him. "Is everything okay?" You ask, and he shakes his head.

Nothing is okay, everything is confusing, and he's unsure what to quite think of all of this. "I feel.. confused. Scared. There's.. fear, in me, boiling up and interrupting my thoughts." He explains, and you nod.

"Feeling is scary, huh?" You ask, as he looks at you.

"How do you do it?" He asks, and you lean your head a bit to the side in question. "There's.. so much of it. How do you.. separate it, keep it in order? Its all over the place, and it's.. so distracting. Its so overwhelming- I can't seem to calm down." He mumbles, serious face turning frustrated as his fingers play with the fabric of his pants.

"We don't." You say. He looks at you for a moment, before you continue. "We just.. let it run through us, I guess. If you don't, it'll make you sick after a while. " You say, and he looks at you.

"But.." He starts. "I fear I might start to display reactions a male android model isn't supposed to openly display." He almost whispers.

"You don't have to openly do it." You reassure him, placing a hand on his shoulder, before moving a bit, body facing him as you open your arms. "It's just me; and I won't judge. You can be whoever you want with me, Jungkook." You say, and he lays down next to you in your arms, momentarily enjoying the quietness and closeness of the affectionate gesture.

"There are no bad feelings, Jungkook." You tell him, and he listens, as he lets them run through him, just like you told him. The sadness, the comfort of your body against his, the.. adoration he feels towards you. Everything, even though it hurts him, physically, something he only ever thought was a artistic way of describing emotions. "There are only wrong actions." You say. "If you feel the need to cry, cry. If you're angry, scream, shout, or find something to channel that into. But if you bottle it up-" You say, "they will lead to mistakes. They will bring pain, and they will bring remorse."

His voice is strained as he talks. "But how do I know when to act on them, and when not to?" He says, and you chuckle.

"You'll learn, Jungkook." You reassure him. "You'll learn."

And he nods against your shoulder, before you can feel him shake a little less, quiet sobs racking through his body until his exhausted body falls asleep to charge.

"Remarkable." Jin comments, as he watches the lines and lines of codes. "He has started to self-code his own system. He's quite literally learning." He says. "All by himself. This is amazing." He says, before he disconnects Jungkook.

"He's still a bit jumpy sometimes, and the microwave is still his worst enemy-" You say, as Jungkook reboots again, eyes slowly focusing as they start to glow again. "But he really is amazing." You say, and Jungkook beams at that, proudly smiling.

It's rare for an android to display such emotions, and he's still often very much void of any clear visual feedback in terms of facial expressions- but he's learning, and he's evolving, growing, in a way. Seokjin closes the panel on the back of Jungkooks neck, as the android stands up to walk closer to you. "Jungkook." Jin says, and the android turns towards the young man. "Do you look after her well?" He asks, and Jungkook nods. "Make sure she stays hydrated during the day, yeah? I highly doubt she's told you she struggles with that." He says, and you whine, as Jungkooks head whips around, eyes scanning your body as he furrows his brows.

"Creator, you need to drink at least 2.5 Liters of water per day. It's vital for your health, which is already very delicate." He says, and you glare at Jin for telling him anything about that.

"I'm fine- and also, please don't call me creator. I'm not anything like that." You say, picking up the walking puppy-robot as Jungkook nods.

"What should I call you then?" He asks, and Jin perks up.

"Call her baby!"

"Jin NO-!"

"No matter what she tells you-" Jin says, holding Jungkooks shoulders as he looks at him seriously. "She likes it." He says, and Jungkook, serious as ever, nods, noting it down, as you groan.

"I hate you both!" You say, and Jungkooks eyes widen.

"You.." He says, voice almost not heard over the laugh of Jin. "Hate me?" He asks, and you immediately regret your words. Jungkook still hasn't figured out sarcasm yet- the entire concept still a little too complicated for his system to grasp, so you walk closer to him, holding his cheeks in your hands.

"No no no, I don't, I could never-" You promise him, as he nods with already glossy eyes. "I just said it as a joke, okay?" You say, and he nods again, biting his lip a little before Jin clears his throat.

"I'll head off now." He says, already putting on his coat. "Thank you for letting me see him- it's really amazing to see him grow like that." He says, and you nod, giving him a short hug before he leaves.

And for some reason, Jungkook feels jealous, watching you so close to him.

Jungkook is in love with you.

He's come to that conclusion all by himself, and he's proud of it, but he's also very unsure about it. He has done a lot of research, scanned every source he could find and validate; and he has found a new interest in activities humans do in relationships to show their partner love and affection. He's not stupid, he knows what intimacy is, and is also aware that he's capable of doing these things with you; but he's also a little unsure, if you'd want that.

After all, there's nothing he could give you.

So one night, he stands in front of your door again, knocking, as you open it.

"Do you think.." He starts. "I'm capable of love?" He asks, and you look at him. "Because I think.. no, I am very sure I love you." He admits, and you get up, but there's no stopping him. "I don't know what it's like for you, but I have observed my newfound emotions, and there's a pattern I've detected; whenever I'm with you, around you, whenever you give me attention, or when you touch me, theres always the same emotions involved; there's this need to take care of you, to keep you safe, to be close." He rambles, and you listen to him as he talks, walking closer to you as his hands find your shoulders. "There's this.. urge, to partake in human intimacy with you. I want to.. show affection the common way, like kissing you, or holding you, things like that." Your cheeks grow a little red. "But I don't know if you are experiencing the same things. My research shows that.. that we could only do these things, if it's the same for you." He says, and then, almost as if hes whispering. "Is it?" He asks, and you struggle to answer. "Do you.. feel the same.?" He asks again, waiting for you to say anything at all.

You stay silent.

Its a sunday when a letter arrives at your home.

When you open it, there's several papers inside; Jungkooks personality tests, official papers that make it possible for him to leave on his own. When he reads them, he's serious, as he watches you smile at him.

"Jungkook, this is great, isn't it?" You say, trying hard to not let it show that you dread letting go of him. "You can finally get an apartment- maybe make something out of your talents, and earn a living. You're free to go now." You say, biting the inside of your cheek as he looks at you with wide eyes.

"But.." He starts, softly. "I'm yours." He states, and you shake your head, swallowing hard.

"Jungkook no.. you're you. No one owns you anymore." You say, and he suddenly shakes his head, throwing the papers in the kitchen sink as he walks towards you, his hands on your shoulders.

He looks at you, serious, as his optics focus on you. "You were the one who told me that every machine should be treated with respect." He states, as you look away from him, his hands shaking you a little as he tries to get your attention back on him. "You said even we androids have souls." He says.

"I did, but-" You start, but he cuts you off.

"And if we do, if we really do-" He speaks, his hands now holding your head, his face drenched in desperation. "Than it belongs to you." He states, and your eyes widen. "It's yours." He repeats. "If having it for myself means I have to leave you, I don't want it."

"I don't.. want to take advantage of you, Jungkook." You say. "You're.. everything is still new to you, I don't want you to regret this-" You start, and he leans down.

"I won't. I've run every possible scan I could, calculated every possible outcome, you know I can't lie to you. I could never regret this.." He says, as he leans down a little. "Can I..?" He asks, and you smile, jumping over your own shadow in a way, as you give him a nod. "I.. can you.. say it?" He asks. "Just once?"

You take his hands in yours, as you lean closer. "I love you, Jungkook." You say, and he gasps, his systems going absolute haywire in the best ways possible. He's again filled with emotions, but this time, they don't hurt; they make him feel light, as if he weighs nothing, they make him close his eyes because suddenly even the slightest light is too bright for his optics.

"Again." He asks, and you comply.

"I love you."

"Again."

"I love you."

He sighs, as his lips finally meet yours.

There's no magical fireworks or anything like that- but Jungkook decides that he doesn't need these things. The feeling itself, the emotions flooding his body are enough to outshine any beauty of reality itself. There's nothing he could ever compare to this, he decides.

He's unsure if Androids have instincts, but in that moment, for the first time, he doesn't care. This seems to be one of those situations to let his emotions run through him, lead him, show him what to do, he decides. His hands roam over your skin, ears catching every sound you make as he moves on autopilot it seems. He's letting go, he's finally doing something he really wants.

And it's all thanks to you- you've given him the chance to be himself.

You've given him the gift of feeling loved, as he finally comes as close to you as lovers ever could; entering you carefully, senses on high alert as he feels your walls around his length. He had been unsure of why pleasure seemed to be described as fun and intimate, but now he can relate to these claims fully. He's so full of love, so overwhelmed, that he simply rests his forehead on your naked shoulder, eyes closed as he simply lets himself feel. He doesn't care about his whines and groans, only focusing on you and your body, on the feedback every muscle sends to his systems, enjoying the way you make him feel.

Its truly magical, he notices.

He doesn't even notice his nor your orgasm at all, but it doesn't matter.

Because at the end of the night, he finally holds you close. Not like before, but this time, as lovers.

"I've given her exactly 0.26 milliliters of a 1 to 1 water and fruit sugar mixture every day at appropriate times." Jungkook seriously tells the vet, as he looks at the bird on the metal table.

"I see. Good job." He praises, before looking at you. "A warzone-type?" He asks, and you nod. "Barely noticable. I have one too, that's how I knew." He comments, before he turns to Jungkook again. "I'd say the bird simply likes your company, Jungkook. She just want's to stay with you That's why she comes back." He explains.

"Like me and Baby?" He asks, and you giggle at the nickname Jungkook keeps using.

"Yes, like you and her." Namjoon says, utterly entertained by you and Jungkook. "So I'd say let her be around. She's perfectly healthy, otherwise." He says, and Jungkook turns around, box in hand, as he smiles.

It's quiet that evening, sun slowly setting and drenching the walls of your shared apartment in a golden glow. Jungkook watches your sleeping form, leaned against him on the couch, as he simply remembers all of the things he's experienced because of you.

He truly is a machine capable of love.

Because you taught him how.

#bts imagine #bts #bts fanfic #bts fic #jungkook imagine #bts smut #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook #Android Jungkook #robot Jungkook #bts reactions

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lucyintheskywithxanax · 3 years

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Truce

Requested by @minaslittleone : Wilhemina + “I know you've got a little life in you left, I know you've got a lot of strength left” from This Woman’s Work.

E., I love this exchange of dark headcanons we don’t want to write 😆😭 I decided to write this one from reader’s pov for protection xx

Word count: 4 000

In retrospect, surely you should have realized right from the start that something was very wrong. But that’s not how you processed bad things. You denied them, refused to acknowledge their existence, until they had no other choice but to slap you right across your face. Sometimes it would take days. Sometimes it was much quicker.

But deep down, you had known something was off the moment you had closed the front door behind you. It was a Friday, 6pm or so, and you had just come back from a week-long work trip across the country. You were exhausted, mentally and physically, and yet the sweet prospect of seeing Wilhemina again made your heart sing and feel like you could very well hike a mountain. But there had been no Wilhemina coming to meet you as she always, always would, fighting a smile, trying to look indifferent but melting into your arms and peppering your face with kisses. No Wilhemina to take off your coat and ask you how your trip had been and to slip a mug of your favorite tea in your hands.

Instead, the house had been awfully quiet. Wilhemina’s shoes lay on the floor in their usual place. You called out her name, trying not to sound too worried. You crossed the living room in a hurry, so you didn’t notice the unwashed dishes in the sink, or the disarranged pillows on the couch. Or maybe you did, but refused to acknowledge them. It was only later, when the sun was setting and you scrubbed the dishes yourself, and fluffed the pillows before rearranging them the way Wilhemina liked them to be, that the implication of them, the reality they told of, hit you in the face. You shoved it where it couldn’t speak.

Wilhemina was lying in bed with her eyes closed, and when you asked her if she was feeling alright, she only answered with a curt “I’m tired.” You sat worriedly by her side, gently stroking her arm. You couldn’t remember the last time she had said those words. You couldn’t remember the last time she had looked so defeated. Dread had tightened your chest. But you had denied it all, as you always did, and let it pass. You had pressed a gentle kiss on Wilhemina’s temple, and asked her if she wanted to eat something – a shake of her head -, then told her you would make something for yourself and take a shower very quickly before you joined her in bed.

And you had been so very tired yourself that it hadn’t taken long at all to fall asleep. You had put your arms around Wilhemina and held her close and decided that in the morning everything would be alright.

Except now, here you were, sitting on your own at the kitchen table, unable to swallow your breakfast as you kept worriedly glancing at the clock whose hands neared 10am. And still Wilhemina wasn’t up.

Even on the weekends, she would rarely linger in bed past 9am, as she hated feeling like she was wasting a day. It would take much coaxing to have her back in your arms when you felt like being lazy on a Sunday morning.

You sat still, staring at your toasts that were cold now. You didn’t feel like eating. Worry was lodged deep in your stomach and made you feel nauseous. But still you told yourself, that maybe Wilhemina hadn’t slept much during the past week, had stayed up late to work with no one to call her to bed, and was in great need of rest. Surely she would join you soon, grumpy because you had let her sleep in, and you would smile at her and kiss her lips and she would hold you as you told her all about your trip.

The clock ticked so loud in the silence, mocking you. It sounded like it was laughing.

At 10:30am the worry got the best of you. You stood up and hurried to the bedroom. You knocked on the door and waited for two seconds before you opened it.

The room was still dark, shutters still closed against the light. You kept the door open to let some light from the corridor in. It showed Wilhemina’s shape, still in bed, her back to you, the comforter pulled up to her waist.

For a second you considered calling her name to determine whether she was still asleep. But the dread in your stomach tugged you onward before you had time to take a decision.

Carefully you settled on the narrow space between the edge of the bed and Wilhemina’s body. You brushed her hair back from her cheek so you could take a look at her face.

“Hey baby,” you whispered. You forced yourself to smile, knowing she would hear it in your voice.

Wilhemina’s eyes had been half-opened, staring vacantly at the darkness. Upon hearing your voice, they briefly moved in your direction, as if to acknowledge your presence.

You rested your hand on her shoulder, thumb gently stroking her skin.

“Are you feeling sick?” you tried.

Wilhemina remained silent.

“Do you want me to bring you something?” you tried again. “A cup of tea? Are you hungry?”

More silence. Worriedly you bent over her, hand now stroking her hair. It was uncharacteristically greasy, you noticed, and your fingers when you slipped them through it caught in several tight knots.

You swallowed, hoping it would somehow prevent the dread from spreading through you. Part of you was still cowardly trying to turn a blind eye on the situation, trying to pretend you had not already connected all the dots.

You pressed another kiss on Wilhemina’s temple. “I’m bringing you tea,” you announced.

You pretended not to hurry out of the room. You needed out for a moment, away from the darkness that seemed to be clinging to your skin, from the stale air of the bedroom, from Wilhemina’s vacant eyes and hunched frame. Your brain went numb. It was either that, or yielding to panic.

On auto-pilot you made the tea, Wilhemina’s favorite, a whole kettle of it. You put the kettle down on a tray with a cup and some biscuits, knowing perfectly well she wouldn’t touch them. Just to pretend.

When you came back to yourself, you found you were staring down at the kettle, hands on either side of the tray. You closed your eyes for a second and forced yourself to take a few deep breaths.

But Wilhemina was always so strong, you thought. Always pushing on, always fighting her on-going battle against her body and the norms and never showing even the tiniest sign of defeat to the outside world. In all the months of dating her, you had gained the sense that somehow she was holding the world together as a commander holds an army together. If she failed, if she as much as slackened her grip, the whole world would collapse, and you with it. You couldn’t imagine living in a world where Wilhemina wasn’t this strong, indestructible force protecting you and strengthening you.

And yet, you thought, as you made your way back to the bedroom, carefully holding the tray, she was bound to fail one day or the other. She was bound to grow weary. And it would be your job to help her back up onto her feet.

You weren’t sure you knew how. And yet you must, you scolded yourself, as you entered the bedroom. You couldn’t run away when Wilhemina needed you.

You set the tray on the bedside table and sat down on the bed again. “Sweetheart,” you tried, “will you sit up for me?”

Wilhemina had closed her eyes upon hearing the new determination in your voice, to try and block you. She didn’t acknowledge your presence, didn’t answer you.

You stared down at her shadowed frame, mind racing as you tried to think of what to do. Tears pooled in your eyes at the sight of her like this, looking so weak and defeated, looking so wrong – you shook your head to chase the thought.

You thought of what would usually help her when she wasn’t feeling good. Remembered all the hesitant touches, all the scooting closer, fingertips brushing your arm, eyes silently pleading to be held.

You stood up and stripped to your underwear so Wilhemina would feel your skin, then nestled in the narrow space available between her body and the edge of the bed.

You didn’t speak. Merely wrapped your arms around her waist and pressed yourself against her, dropping a kiss on the nape of her neck. She didn’t stiffen, or push you away – in fact, she didn’t react in the slightest, and you wondered if she was aware of your presence at all.

The familiarity of her quieted some of the racing thoughts in your mind. Heat quickly built up between your bodies, wrapping you up in a cocoon, and you found yourself wishing that you could build your own world in it, only exist in it, with Wilhemina pressed against you and you pressed against her and nothing else allowed in. To be the architect of your own world and have a say on even the tiniest speck of dust that wafted through it. You wished it could be that easy.

Gently you planted kisses on Wilhemina’s shoulder and neck, your thumb stroking her wrist to ground her in case she needed it. You closed your eyes and focused on her breathing, slow and deep. One breath in, one breath out.

In, out.

You must have dozed off, for when you opened your eyes again, the light filtering through the gaps in the shutters had the brightness of noon. You were still in the exact same position, spooning Wilhemina, but your arm that was trapped between her waist and the mattress had gone completely numb.

With a groan at the unpleasant sensation you pulled away and withdrew your arm. Wilhemina immediately stiffened. You pressed a kiss on her temple to let her know you weren’t going anywhere, and sat up, rolling your shoulder and arm to improve your blood circulation. Your other hand gently stroked Wilhemina’s hair as a reminder that you were still here, still with her. Not running away.

Slowly you slid your fingers through her hair, working through the knots and grazing your nails over her scalp. You had done this before, hundreds of time, had whispered into her ear how beautiful her hair was and how you would never get enough of stroking it and brushing it and twirling strands of it around your fingers. Wilhemina had rolled her eyes, but a chuckle had escaped her, warm and affectionate. She had buried her face in your neck, as she did every time you were cuddling and she didn’t quite know how to handle your compliments. And certainly you had hummed and smiled knowingly, holding her head to you, fingers still threading through the red.

You looked down at her and gently scratched above her ear.

“Will you drink some tea for me?” you whispered. “It’s probably cold now, but you like it cold too.”

Silence. Your chest tightening.

“When was the last time you had water?” you heard yourself say. “Did you drink yesterday before you went to bed?”

Silence. More silence.

Fear rose in you again, hot and wrapping around your heart to squeeze, making your ears buzz, your vision swim. You shifted on the bed just so you could do something, skimmed your palm down Wilhemina’s cheek.

“Sweetheart please – please say something. Wilhemina you’re scaring me. Please, just –”

You didn’t finish, because your voice was quivering and tears were threatening to spill, and you had promised yourself you would be strong for her. Not this pathetic, helpless little girl. So you closed your eyes, pushed your palm against your forehead as you tried to regain control over the fear that threatened to overthrow you. You didn’t know what to do anymore. Call for help? Pace the room like a madwoman? Shake Wilhemina until she finally came back and snapped at you?

You didn’t know. Panicking seemed like the best option right now.

Instead, you ran your fingers through Wilhemina’s hair and forced your voice back under control. “What’s wrong?” you whispered, as tenderly as you could. “Please talk to me. I love you.”

For a while she kept on being silent, and your heart broke and sunk, and panic roared and jumped, but then - blessedly, blissfully - her voice rose, raspy and shaky from disuse.

“I’m so tired,” was what she said.

You bent over her, sweet relief rushing over you now that she was finally willing to communicate. Your hand moved to her forehead. “Are you feeling sick?”

She shook her head. She opened her eyes and again stared at the darkness in front of her.

“Sweetheart,” you pushed on, “maybe if you tried to eat or drink something –”

“What’s the point?” Wilhemina cut you off – her voice wasn’t angry, but instead completely devoid of emotion, as if she were too exhausted to feel. “If I drink your tea now and go to sleep tonight and get up tomorrow morning there’ll only be more pain. And pain again the day after. I’m so tired.”

You allowed yourself a minute to process her words. To embrace their full implication. It felt like a kick in your stomach, and yet it also made you feel calmer. For now that you had received confirmation of what was wrong, now that you knew the face of the enemy you had to defeat, you could think of an efficient plan and pick the appropriate weapons.

You pressed a tender kiss on Wilhemina’s cheek, but it only seemed to revive her anger.

“People like you have it so easy,” she said, her voice bitter now, and quivering. “All you do is wake up and begin your day and cry over your stupid little problems while being too dumb to realize how insignificant they really are. If you had to face a challenge more arduous than a lunch break that’s too short your whole fucking world would collapse.”

She paused to take a shaky breath. You waited for her to go on, blinking back tears but knowing you had to let her speak, to let her let it out no matter if it hurt.

But Wilhemina didn’t go on. The fight flowed out of her as quickly as it had flowed in. Her body sank back into the mattress, limp and drained, eyes closing as if keeping them open was too much of an effort.

And again, your heart sank. Automatically you wrapped one arm around her shoulders to press her close against you, as if somehow that would rescue her, as if she was drowning and all you had to do to save her was pull her back to the surface.

Images flashed in your mind. Wilhemina, carefully sitting up in bed every morning, ritually assessing the day’s degree of pain. You, trying not to make it too obvious that you would shorten your walks every time you noticed a change in Wilhemina’s gait. Strangers and friends, their eyes falling on her cane, then quickly shifting to the floor.

There were days you weren’t very successful in hiding the worry and sadness in your eyes or voice when Wilhemina’s breathing became labored. There were days she wasn’t very successful in hiding the fact that the most common of things – a stranger’s dress, a stranger swiftly standing up from their chair, sometimes nothing at all – would turn her attention back to the curve of her spine. And how she would hate herself.

You couldn’t even begin to imagine how draining her constant fighting must be, how lonely she must feel, carrying a burden most people never even had to think about. There had been times before when the fight had gone out of her, when her eyes had veiled over and her body had slumped and she had refused to speak or move, but those times had always been short. In the morning she had gotten up as usual and made ready to face a new day. And you had found that the best way you could help her in those moments was simply to accept them, to quietly support her and hold her as you waited for her to find her strength again.

But today – today was different. Today you feared she didn’t think it was worth finding it at all.

“Sweetheart,” you whispered, “there are so many things worth you keep fighting for.”

Wilhemina let out a low growl of annoyance. “If you say the sunset I’ll hit you.”

You shook your head, gently rubbing your thumb around a freckle on her arm. “I won’t. But it’s true. My darling, it’s true.”

“I don’t care,” Wilhemina said.

You kept on stroking her arm, encouraged and enlivened when she leaned into your touch rather than pulled away.

“And besides”, you went on, “I want to love you. And I need you,” you added, with a sad laugh. “Is that very selfish of me?”

“I don’t know,” Wilhemina sobbed.

You cooed and pressed another kiss on her temple. Wilhemina curled in on herself, hiding her face in her hands as she cried. You closed your eyes, pushing your forehead against hers, heart breaking for her but also so very relieved that she was finally showing emotion instead of her earlier numbness.

“I don’t want to keep fighting,” Wilhemina choked. “I don’t see the point anymore.”

“Ok,” you breathed, voice a little strangled by fear. You lay down so you could hold her closer, pretending not to notice how your hands were shaking and your heart beating so fast now.

And as you slowly rocked her and shushed her, you stopped trying to find the right words that would lift her up, for you were no longer convinced those existed. Instead, you let her sink.

“It’s alright, sweetheart,” you whispered. “You can take a break. I won’t leave you.”

When Wilhemina had calmed down, you got up and opened the shutters and the window to let the sunlight, fresh air and birdsongs in. Then you hurried back to bed and held Wilhemina in your arms.

She slept through most of the day. In the evening you managed to convince her to take a shower with you. You washed her hair, lathered her skin.

The next day was spent in bed, too. Wilhemina slept. You read a book and read to her when she woke up. You highlighted the passages you found beautiful and asked Wilhemina which were her favorites. You highlighted those, too. She agreed to eat something, for you, and you held her to you when she suddenly broke down halfway through finishing her plate.

On Monday you called your respective bosses to let them know Wilhemina and you were taking the whole week off. Wilhemina still wouldn’t get out of bed, so you read some more to her, one hand holding the book and the other holding her. When you were both bored of reading, you played some of Wilhemina’s favorite records. She lay listening to the music with her eyes closed and her arm draped over your waist. In the evening you ordered food and Wilhemina and you ate it in bed while watching a movie.

On Tuesday and Wednesday, she barely spoke. She lay with a vacant look in her eyes that would only fracture when she sobbed and wailed in your arms. She refused to take her painkillers. At one point you hid in the bathroom and bit your fist to hold back your screams.

On Thursday, Wilhemina got out of bed and together you walked to the nearest park to sit on a bench in the sun and people-watch. On Friday night you woke up panting and with your mind haunted by images of Wilhemina lying lifeless on a tile floor. She gathered you in her arms and rocked you as you clang to her and sobbed and begged her never to leave you.

The week after that was spent mostly in bed, too, but on Wednesday Wilhemina changed and washed the sheets. You hung them outside to dry in the sun.

Your bosses complained. You decided you didn’t care and hung up on them.

One afternoon, for no reasons it seemed, Wilhemina suddenly turned cold and mean to you, and it took you a few hours to realize she was terrified and angry that she had let you see her in such a vulnerable state. You said it was okay. She said she wasn’t sure you were worth it. Her words hurt you more than you would have liked to admit.

You grew silent after that. You did the laundry and vacuumed the house to keep yourself busy and drown out your thoughts. Part of you wanted to turn on your heel and slam the door behind you. To leave, to run away if Wilhemina thought so little of you. Just as you were thinking that surely it was the right thing to do, Wilhemina called your name. She made you sit down on the bed next to her, held your hand, and apologized. She explained she was terrified. You nodded, blinking back tears, and gave her hand a squeeze.

The day after that was spent in bed, too, but a new, timid feeling of happiness settled on the sheet. You planted kisses on each other’s skin, exchanged renewed confessions of love and devotion and made love for the first time since you had come back from your trip. You held her tight as she shook against you, and she cooed as you choked on her tongue, clenching around her fingers and forgetting for a moment everything that wasn’t sweet and warm and love. You dozed off, and when you opened your eyes again, Wilhemina’s were smiling.

On Thursday she announced she was going back to work. You grinned at her, kissed her senseless, and managed to convince her to take it slow and wait till the next Monday. She protested at first, said she couldn’t even imagine how Kineros hadn’t yet collapsed without her, but you raised a cheeky eyebrow and said you rather loved having her all to yourself. She rolled her eyes at that, but was betrayed by the faint blush that dusted her cheeks.

That night you found her sitting in the garden gazing at the stars with a sad, overwhelmed look in her eyes. You draped a blanket over her shoulders, snuggled up to her and nudged her shoulder with your nose.

“Are you okay?” you breathed, looking up at her profile.

Still, she gazed at the stars. “I don’t know,” she breathed back.

You hummed and nestled your head in the crook of her neck.

“I never said thank you,” Wilhemina whispered after a few moments.

You hummed again.

“So, thank you,” she said.

“Anytime,” you whispered, reaching for her hand.

“Take it slow on Monday, okay?” you said after a moment.

Wilhemina made a disapproving noise, but nodded.

“And call me,” you went on. “If you feel overwhelmed.”

Another nod. She laced her fingers with yours and lifted your hand to press lingering kisses on your knuckles in an attempt to distract you, as well as herself, from the tears pooling in her eyes.

“One day at a time,” you breathed. “It’s really all we can do.”

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#sarah paulson #sarah paulson x reader #wilhemina venable #wilhemina venable x reader #ahs #ahs imagines #fics

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imthatchishiyasimp · 3 years

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HELLOOOOO!!!

I'm freaking out this is my first post, like the first one shot I post and write about AIB and Chishiya.

I really hope you all like it, please please please tell me what you think about it and whatever you want to tell me.

It's long (4444 words), I know, but I hate small things because I get upset. It's very close to the story and it doesn't have lot's of changes, I wanted to try first to write about something I know. In the future I will write more original and new stuff. Also, I wanted to get used to the universe and to the characters first.

HAVE A NICE READ 💚

“THIS WAY TO THE GAME ARENA”

The sign flashes all around the city. I slowly walk towards the Toei Sendagaya block apartment, focused on the cube in my hands. Due to having no electricity, I’ve gotten used to pick random things from stores to entertain myself.

It’s still shocking to feel the city so silent and calm, and at the same time it feels terrifying. One would think that being that people die every day, the streets would be forgiving. You can’t even lower your guard now. Even since the first day, I’ve liked walking around the streets, checking out shops and random apartments. I kinda feel powerful, but it’s something that deep inside I know it’s just fake and limited. And I’m not giving up, but at least I’m going to enjoy now that I can, until ‘they’ decide that I’m not needed around anymore.

The tall complex shines between the bushes and buildings, its lights on every floor lighted on. I place myself a few meters hidden behind the stairs leading to the central lobby. From there, I sit and watch people climb the stairs. A couple of them look pretty scared and lost, showing signs of this being their first game. The rest all look shaken up but used to this. When it looks like no one else will come, I get up and get to the crowd around the phones.

There’s thirteen people waiting and all of them look at me while I pick the phone from the table. When the facial recognition is finished I can see that there’s only a few seconds left for the game to start. Almost didn’t make it. Would have been stupid to die because I was daydreaming.

‘Move aside’ I say to Chishiya, elbowing him after not having a response. He looks at me annoyed and slips off his earphones. He finally moves to let me place my back at the wall and get my hair in a bun.

“REGISTRATION HAS CLOSED. THERE ARE A TOTAL OF 14 PARTICIPANTS. THE GAME WILL NOW COMMENCE.”

It’s so easy to point out who the newcomers are and the ones that are sick of playing. You can also name who’s going to be willing to put themselves first and who’s going to scary run the whole game.

I start rolling the sleeves of my sweatshirt up when a boy with a cap starts talking to some guys. They look lost, but not new to this. Might be the first week here. I eye them from my spot, not saying a thing but listening to the whole exchange.

“Excuse me, do you know what this is?” He asks a black haired boy. Honestly, he looks a mess, like he has just gotten up from bed and hasn't changed in a few days. “I ended up here and I have no idea what’s going on”.

“It’s a game” He answers. At the same time, the blonde man next to him, probably his friend, tells him to stop it. I chuckle and cover it up with a cough, earning myself a glare from both Chishiya and Aguni. I might be prone to get in trouble with people and they won’t be happy if I screw a game up. Better be quiet.

The blonde guy whispers to his friend and I try to pick something up from the conversation. Not get close to the new ones and something else.

“DIFFICULTY: FIVE OF SPADES”

The card flashes on our phones, telling us the kind of game and the level of difficulty. I was so curious about the card when I got to my first game, I didn’t know what it meant and what I was supposed to do with it. I’m a bit ashamed to admit that I admire the cleverness behind the rules and the method of the games. It’s the work of both a psycho and a genius.

A sporty girl starts to stretch just after the card shows, so she must know what it means. She’s calm and collected and I bet she’s willing to put all of us on the killing zone before she goes down. We could be friends, I think.

I hear a sigh next to me and I catch a glimpse of Chishiya rolling his eyes. He doesn’t exactly hate physical games, but they sometimes mean having to run or climb and he’s not a fan of working out. And, even though he won’t admit it, he doesn’t like having his white hoodie dirty. Not going to judge, I don’t love spades games either, but I will choose them over the hearts ones a million times.

I get down to tie my shoes tighter just in case. I would hate tripping like the clown I really am in front of all these people. Some guy in a hat starts explaining to the two friends from before what it means a spades game. Club games are hard if there are more newcomers than experienced people. I mean, if it's a game where team work means everything, you bet you prefer working with someone who knows the way around the games. Diamond ones are a bit weird: being clever will get you through them, but sometimes the answer is so straightforward that you get lost looking for the catch. Heart games are the worst. They will kill you even if you survive, and pray that you don’t get to play with a friend or someone you know.

“GAME: A GAME OF TAG.”

“RULE: RUN AWAY FROM THE TAGGER.”

“CLEAR CONDITION: DISCOVER THE SAFEZONE HIDDEN IN ONE OF THE BUILDING ROOMS WITHIN THE TIME LIMIT. YOU CLEAR THE GAME WHEN THIS OBJECTIVE IS FULFILLED.”

“TIME LIMIT: 20 MINUTES.”

“AFTER 20 MINUTES HAS PASSED, THE TIME BOMB HIDDEN IN THE BUILDING WILL EXPLODE.”

I turn around to face Chishiya, grinning like a mad girl. He doesn’t even flinch when he stops me from talking. “No, I’m not racing you to the top.”

“But…” I sigh and watch as everyone starts running to the stairs like lost puppies. “You are so mean”. I punch him in the shoulder and cross my arms, walking towards the lift. No need running seven floors up and wasting energy if I’m not even going to be able to brag about having won a race.

Chishiya follows closely behind, probably guessing I’m going to try and leave him there.

“TWO MINUTES BEFORE THE GAME STARTS.”

We get inside the lift and silently wait until we get to the seventh floor. It’s been a long time since I used one, not everyday you get to play in a building apartment. Feels nice, and like we’re back to normal.

Once we get to the top, we both choose a position that lets us have a good look at the whole complex. He goes to one wing while I leave for the other one. No point leaving a flank unseen. I take my cube out and restart it, keeping an eye on the people looking around scattered through the floors. I don’t get why someone would choose saying in the lower ground when a tagger is supposed to chase you through the whole building. Dude, that’s the most critical place to start.

“Hey, don’t get distracted with those games of yours.”

“Don’t be mean, Chishiya. You know I’m paying attention.” Anyway, once I finish the cube, I keep it in my pocket and rest my arms on the banister.

Aguni and his new friend get to the seventh floor and both of us wave towards him. Like always, he completely ignores us and keeps walking towards another high point.

“That’s nasty” Chishiya says and I nod along. Aguni is always so serious during games, it’s boring.

“I place my bet on those two guys and the sporty girl surviving”. I firmly say. They look like they will make it, but not without having a rough time.

He has the audacity to snort and laugh at me and I look at him surprised. “You’re joking. Everyone looks like they’re about to die, as usual. Just look at them, they don’t know shit about what to do”.

“Were you this calm in your first games? Don’t be mean, they are trying their best. No one wants to die.”

“But, where you that stupid?” He says while pointing to a couple of girls on the second floor who are touching their phones desperately. “I’m not saying you gotta be a genius from the start, but if you don’t collect yourself quickly, you are already dead.”

“Well, my majesty, not all of us are like you, and some people need a little more time, and a little more help.”

Chishiya looks at me and, as if I had imagined, a caring and sorry look crosses his eyes. He probably remembers the first time he saw me get through the games and how I completely lost it once. It wasn’t easy.

“THE GAME WILL NOW COMMENCE.”

He nudges my arm with his elbow and I look at him.

“THE TIME LIMIT IS 20 MINUTES.”

“Hey” He says with a soft voice.

“GAME START.”

“Don’t die this time.”

“Wasn't planning to.”

“THE TAGGER IS NOW ON THE MOVE.”

As if we all had planned it, the whole complex goes silent, trying to locate this said tagger. A trumpet goes off and everyone looks scared, ready to bolt to wherever they can.

The sound of the lift’s doors can be heard from our position, so the tagger is probably on the sixth or fifth floor.

Not a penny drop can be heard. Not a breath.

Some people start walking and try to open doors. The rest are all watching closely until something happens.

And it does.

Gunshots run through the dense air that surrounds us. I try to see where they come from and I finally catch sight of the tagger. Probably a man, judging for the height, with a horse head and a really mean gun. He’s on the sixth floor, just in front of the stairs.

I point at him and nudge Chishiya, but I already know that he has seen him.

There’s now thirteen of us.

And then shots are fired again and we can see the two friends and the one with the hat running down the stairs, away from the tagger.

“Told you, they are gonna get killed.” Chishiya says with a smirk.

“Oh shut up, this is not a TV show we are talking about. And I have faith in them”.

They split up on the third floor, the hat man keeps going down while the other two try to hide in the hallway. Not long after, on the ground floor that the tagger chases and shots the first one and finds another man freaking out. I don’t know if it’s better that he died because he went off the game zone instead of being shot by the tagger. Anyway, he’s also dead. And that makes three dead players.

Eleven participants left.

“See, they are smart. At least the cute one”. I say smiling.

Chishiya looks at me and raises an eyebrow, silently questioning just what I said.

“What? It’s not like I’m lying; he is cute, and smart.” I laugh and wink at him, cutting eye contact with him. If we are going to have an awkward moment, please don’t be while we are playing for our lives.

The killing spree of the tagger continues with the pretty and lost two girls. They sure are on their first game, because they look so freaking scared and unprepared. I mean, who would have come with heels and handbags. I scoff and shake my head watching how one of them falls dead and the other one wastes an incredible opportunity of getting away while the tagger reloads. Well, not all of us are strong enough to leave our friend and not panic at the same time. Shame she has to die, anyway.

So now we are nine players still alive.

Looks like everything’s gone silent again, until shouts break the silence and we all look for the source. It’s the cute guy and I laugh when I understand what he’s saying.

“Everyone! The tagger is currently at the second level of the central area! The tagger has bad vision because of his mask! Let’s inform each other of the tagger’s location and search for the safezone together!”

“Oh my god, did he seriously turn a spades game into a club’s one?” I laugh again and Chishiya scoffs under his hood. “I want to be best friends with him”.

“Don’t be stupid.” Chishiya says. We move a bit to see where they are going now that they are all running. “It’s a good idea, not going to lie, but no one will answer him.”

He mutters something else, but I don’t really catch it. I think I saw the tagger doubt his step when he heard the guy shouting, but he definitely looks annoyed when the sporty girl shouts back.

“The tagger is moving from the fourth level of the central area! Anyone nearby, run!”

I celebrate and raise my hands, clapping and laughing in Chishiya’s face. He looks surprised and tells me to shut it.

The girl runs from the tagger and finds an elderly woman in the hallway. With the tagger on their back, they are probably going to get killed. I grip the banister and hold my breath. She seems friendly and clever, I’m internally rooting for her.

Suddenly she jumps off the balcony and starts climbing the pipes up to the next floor. The other woman dies behind her, and the tagger tries to catch the girl but fails.

“She’s pretty good.” Chishiya mutters. “You just wish you could do that. It’s called envy”.

“As if you could do that too. You are just as weak as me.”

“Hey! Don’t throw me in the same casket!”

“EIGHT MINUTES UNTIL THE GAME ENDS.”

“THERE ARE CURRENTLY EIGHT SURVIVORS.”

Already? We should start moving.

I look at Chishiya under my hair and he frowns at something. I follow his gaze and see the tagger looking at the cap boy from an upside floor. What’s shocking it’s him starting to shoot from there. He has been killing just people he casually finds while walking around, not shooting from that distance.

The boy goes down, but looks unharmed. The two friends are on the same floor and get to him, running away from the door he was trying to open.

Not bothering to ask Chishiya if he got that, I start jumping on the place and keep my phone in my pockets. He slides off the hood and shoves me towards the stairs.

“Shall we, ma’am?”

“THERE ARE FIVE MINUTES REMAINING.”

From the corner of my eye I catch Aguni intercepting the boys and I make a face. It doesn’t always go well when he does that, he tends to let them die in order to have his way. The sporty girl stops to talk to them and she starts jumping from floor to floor.

“Do you think someone’s going to get it too?” I ask out loud. Chishiya shrugs and keeps on walking. I tsk and stay behind him when we get to the hallway. I turn around and watch my back, even though I heard a fight somewhere near. Probably Aguni, who are we kidding.

Just when we are arriving at the safezone apartment, the cute boy appears from the other side.

“Cute boy! I’m glad you realized it!” I happily say without thinking. I mouth a silent sorry when he looks at me a bit perplexed. Chishiya elbows me, hard, and I whine a bit. That’s mean.

He picks the doorknob first, but doesn’t open it. The three of us are watching closely, and honestly I’m a bit nervous about the time. I don’t like risking it as much as Chishiya.

“Aren’t you going to open it?” he asks.

The boy answers a couple of seconds after, lost in his thoughts “Why did the tagger chase us? He could have just waited here.”

He is onto something. Now, I’m not liking this at all.

“Seems like there’s something else we don’t know.” Chishiya says, keeping his calm exterior. He’s going to use this poor boy in case he has any doubt of a risk. “However,” he adds, taking his phone out “if you don’t open it…”

There are three minutes left.

Sweat starts running down my back, making me shiver and hold my breath while I watch the boy start turning the doorknob. All our phones beep announcing the time left until we all die with the bomb.

Slowly, he opens the door with caution. We all walk inside, in silence and with darkness surrounding us. It 's empty. No furniture, neither personal objects nor some leftovers of someone’s life. A few steps in we notice a door at the end of the room and we all walk towards it.

It’s not until we are too far inside that another tagger walks out behind the door.

“Look out!” the boy screams and pushes us out of the shot range.

Gunshots fly around the apartment and I duck behind the bathroom door. Chishiya uses the taser and the tagger goes down, but recovers quickly and starts shooting again. I scream when a bullet gazes at my arm. It fucking hurts, but at least the bullet didn’t got me completely.

I can hear the apartment door being shut and the other door at the end closing too. They must have gotten through them. I hope they aren’t harmed.

I wait, trying not to make any sound in case the tagger comes to finish me off. I search through the room, but nothing seems lethal enough to use like a weapon. I hate bringing weapons to games, I don’t really want to kill anyone if I can help it.

Gunshots are fired and I cover myself up, even though they are not directed towards me. Fighting blade weapons? I’m okay with that. Fighting people? Not against it. But, I have nothing towards a gun. I mean, it can take me from a long distance! No point.

“Everyone! The safezone is in apartment 406! It’s impossible to clear the game alone! We need two people to do this!”

Are you kidding? This is so mean. What if you were the only survivor? Not fair, not at all.

Well, it seems like I should get moving and try to do something useful in this game. I haven’t done shit, now that I think about it.

Slowly, I open the door just in time to see the tagger shoot the door and break the safelock. I take small steps following it, ready to throw myself to placate it. Just when the gun is going up I jump and kick the tagger in the knee, managing to bring it to the floor.

I hear a scream coming from the tagger and a lady cursing from behind the mask. She starts shooting and I scream trying to cover myself without being hit. The guy bolts and tries to help me get her off the gun, but she keeps fighting like a mad person.

We both go down before she gets us with the bullets and I catch a glimpse of Chishiya at the door, trying to help but having to cover himself because of the lost shots.

The phones all inform us of the ten seconds remaining at the same time that the sporty girl jumps through the glass of the balcony. The tagger kicks me and gets the gun pointing at my face and I panic just a bit before I push back. The other guy tries to help me, but with no help.

“Hey!” Chishiya shouts.

I’m on the floor fighting the tagger with the gun under my chin, trying to get it off my face, but I see him throwing the taser to the girl and she quickly gets the tagger down.

I let out a sigh before I heard the time almost coming to an end. My eyes search for him and we lock our gazes. I can feel the breath we are both holding and the silent words running through our minds. My fingers clench and I swallow, accepting death like a forgotten friend, saying goodbye with a blink.

But, just like that, with a blink, it all finishes. The buttons are pressed on the last second and we all hear the beeps from our phones.

“GAME CLEAR.”

“CONGRATULATIONS.”

In that same moment, the tagger gets the mask off and we can see an old lady crying looking at us. The collar in her neck starts beeping faster and faster and I scramble to get away from her. Chishiya grabs both my arms and I scream at the touch in the bullet gaze from before, but he doesn’t let go and gets me away at the same time that the collar explodes, killing the lady.

My whole back is covered in blood and I roughly grab Chishiya’s hoodie. I don’t want to look at her and see what we did, even though it was unintended. She was also playing, and she died because we won.

Chishiya and I are left in the room with the dead tagger, and he grips my hand and makes me let go of him. He starts checking the pockets of the lady and gets something out, but I don’t register exactly what.

I get out of the apartment to breathe. I hate this part where we really think about what went down here. Lots of people died, and we got a few days to live just to have to risk it again in the next game. Could have we saved someone? Not really, I know that. But it doesn’t make it easier anyway.

“I’m Arisu.” Someone says beside me. I turn and the cute boy is there, watching me from a distance. “I wanted to thank you, for risking yourself back there. We are alive thanks to all of you.” He sticks out his hand to me and waits.

I’m speechless. No one has thanked me like this in any game. I didn’t really do a thing, but he’s thanking me. I should be the one doing it, he cooperated with the other girl and they stopped the bomb. We could have died there.

I let out a small laugh and shake his hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Arisu. And thanks to you, you did the dirty work inside the room.”

I look back inside and watch Chishiya stick the paper in his hoodie and walk towards us.

“I look forward to meeting you somewhere else, hopefully not dead in a game. Be careful and enjoy the warm water in the ocean now that we are all alone in the city.”

With a wink, I walk out of the apartment building with Chishiya not too far behind. I think he heard me talking to Arisu, but he doesn’t comment on it.

We walk, and we walk, and we walk. Neither of us likes to go back to the Beach in the cars, so we always take a stroll through the streets, enjoying the silence and the stars shining above us.

“Does it hurt?” he asks.

“Mmh?” I look at him questioning and he nods to my bleeding arm. “Oh, yes, like a bitch. But I’ll have to wait until we get there.”

He tsks and grabs my arm, leading us to a pharmacy around the corner. I don’t say anything, knowing he will shut me up and will only be a waste of time. We get inside and he starts looking for some disinfectant and bandages.

He knows his stuff. I was surprised at first to discover he knows his way around the medical grounds; and I’m glad he does. It doesn't hurt having someone nearby capable of dealing with nasty wounds.

He silently works and I watch him closely. He’s handsome. And he knows it, that’s why he smirks feeling my gaze on his face. I trace his features taking my time. His eyes are the most scary thing I’ve ever met. They hold so much knowledge and feelings. I always feel like he could take me apart just with his eyes. He mostly covers his emotions, so even though you search for micro expressions, you will come empty handed almost always.

I bring my free hand up and run my fingers through his hair. I love it, it’s so smooth and soft. And the fact that he always wears white to match his hair makes me smile like an idiot.

Chishiya clears his throat and starts covering up the wound. My hand drops and rests in his arm, basking in the heat he’s making.

Once he’s done, he brings down my sleeves and looks me in the eye, silently checking if I’m okay. I nod and take his hand, quickly gripping and, just as fast, letting go. I can hear him sigh behind me, and he follows behind.

“You know, I’m glad I met you here, but I would have prefered meeting you in the real world.”

“Why?”

“Because I know I will be safer here with you, but I also know the probability of us having a happy ending is minimal while we are here.”

“You are not wrong.” A couple of minutes goes by until he adds: “But that doesn’t mean you can’t try and make the most of it while you are alive. It will hurt more, but at this point, who cares?”

I let out a breathy laugh and turn around to hug him. Hard. He stops and lets me hug him, finally giving in and hugging me back. I hide my face in his neck, breathing deep and closing my eyes. I can feel his pulse and his chin coming down on my head, his hand running through my back.

“You are an idiot.”

“And you are mean. Deal with it.”

I swear I can feel his lips kissing the top of my head, but it’s so fast I can’t be sure. He starts walking again and I run to catch him before I lose him.

We may have a complicated relationship, if you can call it that. We are there for each other, not sure of what to do, what to give, what to take. But we do not give up. I’m just glad I’m not alone, and thankful that I have someone looking out for me.

I smile all the way to the Beach.

#chishiya #chishiya shuntaro #chishiya x reader #aib #alice in borderland #fic #oneshot #reader insert #fanfic #arisu

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raysofcrosby · 3 years

Text

WHATEVER LIFE THROWS AT YOU – m. tkachuk

part twelve – SAFE AND SOUND

warning(s): matty being a lil thot [in his thoughts], language, hospital scenes, panic, tears, very brief mention of throw up, slight violence not really, jonathan slander much deserved and some fluff.

summary: it’s new year’s eve which means a new year and new beginnings are on the horizon. what starts off as a fun and relaxing day with family, quickly turns into a race against time in the matters of life and death. and when tensions come to the boil, matt’s left at a crossroads of whether to go with what feels right and what’s the right thing to do...but both roads lead him exactly where he wants to be at the end of the night.

word count: 19,904

an: for the sake of this fic, let’s pretend like rittich and sam didn’t get traded this week. this summary is sooo dramatic omfg. anyway, i got super carried away with this chapter, but oh well...enjoy :)

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Life just seemed to fly by the twenty days after their birthday. Ethan and Caroline both were officially on winter break by the end of that week and their schedule became meshed in with Matt’s– both having way too much free time on their hands to not be doing anything. Unfortunately, that next week after the 11th, there was no hanging out with either of them thanks to Jonathan’s suggestion that they go down to Tampa for the week, visit his parents for a few days and then they could swing by the panhandle and visit Clara.

Matt wasn’t stupid. Maybe his parents really did fly down every December from New York to spend the month at their waterfront condo to get away from the frigid weather. But from what he learned when he asked Andrew about it, usually, his parents just mail their Christmas presents in general up to Jonathan and yeah, Ethan’s met them before when they came to visit Jonathan here, but they’ve (Ethan, Caroline, and Jonathan) have never actually flown out to visit them. And from the moment he learned that, he knew that getting Caroline and Ethan out of Chesterfield for even those few days was only done with the intention that Matt wouldn’t be around.

And needless to say, that was the worst week of his life and everyone around could vouch for it. He was bored out of his mind. He was getting to do more at physical therapy now that he was at 10 weeks post-op and while he was happy about being able to feel himself make good progress and feel the strength back in his shoulder, he couldn’t help but feel a little bummed. Normally after PT, he would always come home and either pick up Ethan from his house or he’d already be waiting for Matt in the living room, where he wasted no time dragging Matt down to the basement so they could play hockey. But for that entire week, all he did was return home to an empty basement instead of Ethan practically bouncing off the walls asking what they were going to do next. He would’ve been extremely grump too if it wasn’t for the fact that Caroline would send him pictures of Ethan every day with whatever they were doing.

That and going Christmas shopping with his Mom were really the only two things that kept him somewhat sane during those seven days they were gone. Oh, and the texts and Facetime calls at night Ethan would make on his iPad, always saying how normally Caroline hasn’t let him have it at bedtime, but she made an exception while they were on this trip. And when Matt sent her a text after that first night telling her how Ethan spent most of the Facetime telling him about the Lightning game Jonathan’s Dad got them tickets for, Caroline had replied with– “I know this trip was super sudden and he was really looking forward to spending time with you, so I figured maybe a little few late nights on the iPad wouldn’t be all that bad.” and before he could reply, she followed up with– “He hasn’t stopped talking about you to Jonathan's dad. ‘Matt taught me this’ and ‘Matt taught me that’ it’s really adorable and his parents love it.”

And while he shouldn’t have taken so much pride in the fact that even taking Caroline and Ethan a thousand miles away, couldn’t keep Matt away from crashing in on any free time Jonathan wanted with them...he did.

In fact, he fucking loved it.

When that following Sunday came around and he pulled up into his parents' driveway and got out of his car, he barely got to walk to the trunk to grab his bag full of extra stretching bands Roger gave him so he could do his stuff from home since it was the holidays, before he heard his name get called. And when he looked up he saw Ethan trying not to slip and fall as he trudged through the salt and reminisce of snow that was on the neighborhood sidewalks. And just behind him, was a bundled-up Caroline with her arms crossed and shuffling her feet to try and keep up.

Once Ethan had reached him, like always, he hugged him and then right into speaking a mile a minute about what they should do that day. Matt had to hold him back by the back of his winter jacket so he didn’t run off without waiting for Caroline to catch up. And when she did, she too greeted Matt with a smile and a hug as if it was just the most natural thing in the world. That day, they didn’t end up playing hockey down in the basement or going outside to play in the snow, they stayed inside the house, sitting around the living room and letting Ethan have his pick of a movie while he kept trying to convince Matt’s Dad that he should at least get to open one of his presents beneath the tree before Christmas since it was Christmas Eve after all. And around dinner time when they all went over to the Marsh’s for dinner where Ethan insisted that they all watch Jim Carrey’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas...and no one disagreed.

And when Matt walked the two of them home that night, much earlier than normal since Ethan had been having Richard and Matt’s Dad both track Santa Claus’s location on N.O.R.A.D. once again being with Caroline as Ethan went to bed (awake this time), the two of them hung out a bit more by the front door before he actually left. And it was then that, like the entire week of being in Florida, she apologized for going on the trip. Matt told her that it was okay (it wasn’t, because Jonathan was there) and that it was something she had to do since she was marrying Jonathan and all...they had to visit his parents from time to time.

“But this is your first Christmas with him and all you get is today and then the rest of the month. We shouldn’t have gone, it wasn’t fair to take that extra week away from you.”

“Yeah, but I get the rest of my time being home with him too. Plus, there’s always more Christmases.”

She had looked shocked when he had said that. And he couldn’t figure out if it was because her mind went straight to split custody and shared holidays– sending Ethan on a plane with one of their parents so he could visit Matt in Calgary– or if it was because, like him, she was seeing herself there in Calgary with him...or here in Chesterfield, not married to Jonathan and taking the trip to fly up with Ethan to visit him.

But she still smiled and said, “yeah, there’s always more Christmases.”

Christmas itself was hectic. Matt learned of the routine that the three families had been doing the last few years– everyone had their Christmas morning at their own homes before going over to whoever's turn it was to host Christmas for them all that year. This year, it was the Tkachuk’s turn and Matt was pleasantly excited to greet them all as they came through the door, until Caroline and Ethan showed up, Jonathan arriving with them. But still, in the spirit of Christmas, Matt tried his best to stay civil, even shaking his hand as he came through the door.

And it was in the flurry of everyone exchanging gifts, opening presents, and watching Ethan get excited as How the Grinch Stole Christmas played in the background, that Jonathan found Matt in the kitchen pouring himself another mimosa.

“I know you and I probably haven’t gotten off on the right foot,” he said, seemingly trying his best to stay civil for the day as well.

“You shut a door in my face the first time we met,” Matt replied, putting the orange juice back into the fridge. “So I’d say yeah, we haven’t.”

“I’m sorry, but I really want this to work,” he looked off towards the living room before looking back at Matt. “For our sakes and Ethan’s.”

“Sure, we can make it work, but only on one condition,” Matt said, sucking in his lips as he shrugged his shoulders. “Stop pushing baseball on Ethan. If he wants to play, he’ll come to you and say he wants to play.”

“Fine, consider it done. Besides, that’s what I was coming over to ask you,” Jonathan rubbed his hand down the side of his clean-shaven face and sighed, looking like he’d rather be anywhere but there. “I was wondering if you’d want to go when I took Ethan to buy a new stick.”

Matt almost choked on his sip of mimosa. “What?”

“Trust me, I’m not exactly thrilled to be asking you either.” The way his eyes pierced through Matt’s let Matt know that Jonathan wasn’t oblivious to the way he felt about Caroline or even their history. “But…I don’t know much about this kind of stuff and well, you’re kind of a professional athlete. Plus, since we’re trying to make this work...I figured it’d be a good way to start. If not for me, then for Ethan.”

Shit. Matt was going to say no and tell him to kindly go fuck himself because he didn’t appreciate Jonathan whisking them away to Florida for the week leading up to Christmas when he knew this was Matt’s first Christmas with Ethan. But the moment that Jonathan mentioned Ethan, he knew he was fucked. “Alright, sure. Just...let me know when and we can go.”

“I was thinking that first weekend after he goes back to school? Sunday good with you?”

By then, Ethan would for sure know that Matt was his Dad and that Caroline had hidden it from him all these years...maybe this would be a good distraction. “Sure, that’s good with me. Just swing by when you want to leave.”

That was probably the worst part of the entire week, actually getting along and making a plan with Jonathan. But the rest of those five days were perfect with no Jonathan in sight and Caroline was only gone for one of them– another date night where Matt had offered to babysit and hang out with Ethan, where he'd let it slip that he thinks Jonathan and Caroline were probably fighting or trying not to fight. Apparently on their trip to Florida, though Caroline had tried to hide it and spoke in whispers whenever Ethan was around, he said– “I’m eight, not dumb. I don’t know what they were arguing about...but they sounded mad. They never did it in front of Jonathan’s parents though, it was always when everyone was headed to bed and they stayed out in the living room.”

Matt didn’t let himself be too happy about that slither of information and instead tried to focus on just having fun and spending time with Ethan and Caroline while he could. Playing outside in the snow, movie nights, taking Ethan to public skate at the rink since they had the week off from practice for the holidays, and Matt would even let Ethan join him in doing his PT exercises down in the basement where Ethan spent more time talking about how cool it was that he was doing exercises made for an actual NHL player...than actually doing the exercises.

And every day that they got to hang out either just the two of them, the three of them, or with both families together was great. Brady had wrapped up a two-week road series and came home last night and as soon as he woke up this morning, he came over to their parents' place so he could open all the gifts he’d missed on Christmas. Susan and Richard had come over that morning too, Susan to help Matt’s mom cook up some of the snacks for later tonight, while Richard stopped by for only a few minutes before heading off to the hospital for work.

Ever since Matt had known the Marsh’s and even before that, Richard always offered to work on New Year's Eve since he knew that it was one of the busiest nights of the year and it was easy for the staff to get overwhelmed.

He had scheduled a zoom meeting with the guys during the afternoon, knowing that they had the day off and that he just wanted to pop in and see how they were all doing and just let them know he was there for them and to wish them a Happy New Year. He should’ve known it was going to be a cluster fuck of a meeting the moment Sam’s screen popped up and he was decked out in New Years gear– one of those paper hats, an obnoxious pair of year glasses, tons of beads hanging around his neck and a noisemaker in his mouth that he would blow anytime someone new joined the meeting.

Once everyone got into the meeting room and Sam finally stopped blowing his noisemaker, the meeting started. It wasn’t some super fancy, super serious meeting either. The guys asked Matt how he was doing, wanting to know how his physical therapy was going and if he knew when he’d be back. Matt asked how it was going with Sutter, talked about how they looked when he would watch their games and how everyone was feeling so far with the season– which was still one of their best, even though their win streak had broken for three games in a row back in November. But still, they were back on some big high wins and Matt just wanted to make sure that everyone was still on board with their goals and that they were feeling confident in themselves, each other, and both Luc and Sean being the Alternates since Matt was out of the picture in the meantime and back home.

After all of that sort of official business got out of the way, it was just all of them shooting the breeze and catching Matt up on all of the things he’s missed. Like how Sam got a drink dumped on him in a club because his Tinder date that originally canceled for the night, had shown up only to see him flirting with another girl. Or how Michaelson, one of their rookies had his first interaction with, as Marky had put it “the notorious Annalee” and Matt all but rolled his eyes into the back of his head. Matt wasn’t the first Flames player she had been with, he was actually the third– not that he was judging or really cared– he just wasn’t the least bit bothered by the fact she had her eyes set on Michaelson but could tell that the rookie was mortified – “I’m 19 and she tried to shove a shot down my throat.”

Then the conversation drifted to family talk, everyone asking how the other’s girlfriends, wives, and kids were doing and asking how Matt’s family was doing– listening and telling their own stories. Just hearing some of the guys like Luc, Hamonic, and Sean talk about their families– Sean and his wife just had a baby less than eight months ago, made Matt feel a little bittersweet. He and Caroline hadn’t had that conversation of telling anyone who didn’t already know, but he felt bad keeping the news away from his team. They trusted him to be open with them and lead them, no matter on the ice or off. And yet here he was holding back the knowledge that he had a son from some of the people who would no doubt be thrilled for him that he did and who wouldn’t judge him for how it happened. But as soon as they told Ethan and before he went back to Calgary, they’d have to have that talk and then Matt would have an idea or a plan to tell his teammates, and then eventually, the two of them could announce it themselves with the help of Greg.

“Matt! Mimi said I could find you up here, so can we go play hockey now if I get Bee-Bee and Ti-Ti to agree?” Ethan barged into his room through the open door and came over to the side of Matt’s bed, plopping down onto it.

Or his teammates could just find out now.

“Who are you talking to?” Ethan asked, leaning further towards Matt and looking at the computer screen as the voices of the Flames players stopped. Matt laughed as Ethan’s eyes went wide and he leaned into the screen. “Holy crap hi, I know you guys!”

Matt looked towards the screen and nudged Ethan’s head aside just a bit as he took in the looks on all of his teammates' faces– each more confused than the next. “Ethan, meet the team. Team, meet Ethan.”

A collection of mingled hellos all came at once as Ethan waved at the camera, balancing on the bed with his left hand. “Holy crap, hi!” He turned to Matt, a smile on his face. “Can I talk too?”

“Maybe next time, but right now it’s work stuff.” Matt nodded, watching as Ethan just shrugged. “But go downstairs and I’ll meet you there and we can play.”

“Okay cool because I already made Bee-Bee shovel the driveway so we could,” he replied, standing up straight before leaning back in and waving at the camera. “Bye Calgary Flames.”

As soon as Ethan ran out of the room and down the stairs, Matt got up from his bed and walked over to his bedroom door, closing it before walking back over and sitting back down. “Babysitting?” Tanev laughed, taking a drink from his water bottle.

“Not exactly,” Matt sighed, running his hands down the sides of his face and feeling the scruff of his growing beard against his palms. “Okay, so like, I was trying to figure out a way to tell you guys this anyway, so might as well do it now.”

“Chucky, what’s up?” Johnny asked, looking concerned out of the group of them.

Matt picked up his laptop and moved towards his closet as far away from the door as he could in case Ethan had decided to come back upstairs and eavesdrop. He stared at the door for a few seconds, hearing nothing coming from the other side and then he sighed and looked back at the screen. “So, uh...he’s mine.”

“He’s your what?” Sean asked, looking off-screen.

“My kid. Ethan...he’s my son.” Matt replied, feeling his face scrunch up as if he was bracing himself for their reactions.

It was silent before Sam shook his head and leaned closer to his camera. “Holy shit, what?”

“What the fuck, Chucky?”

“What happened? Who did you knock up?”

“How does Mr. No glove, no love knock someone up?” The mingled voices only got louder as more questions were being thrown at him and it became harder to hear or even understand what any of them were saying.

“Jesus, can I talk please?” he groaned, rolling his eyes as the guys stopped talking, all staring at them to make sure they didn’t miss his explanation. “My high school girlfriend–”

“The one you went all Monk after the breakup?” Sam asked, playing with the hat on his head.

“Her names Caroline, Sam,” Johnny chimed in, rubbing his temples. “Jesus Christ.”

“Okay, sorry,” Sam replied, sarcasm heavy in his voice as he picked up his noisemaker. “Not like it hasn’t been forever.”

“Yeah, so uh...it turns out that when I went to Ontario to play for the Knights, she found out she was pregnant.” He scratched the back of his head, tilting his head to the side. “I mean, I knew there was a scare, but she told me that she wasn’t. So...I went to Ontario in August, she broke up with me two months later and had him on December 11th.”

“That’s your–”

“Birthday, yeah, I know. He turned eight.”

Noah leaned on his elbows, scrunching his eyebrows together. “And...you never knew?”

It wasn’t hard to see that a lot of them were holding out some judgment for the story that he told them, and he couldn’t blame them. Because, it was after all...kind of a rare and messed up situation to be in.

“No,” he sighed. “Everyone else did and I’m working on dealing with that, but right now I’m just really focusing on PT and getting to know him.”

“Shit, Chucky,” Rasmus said in disbelief, leaning back in his chair as he held his hands behind his head.

“Welcome to fatherhood,” Luc laughed, being the first one to actually break up that tension with a smile.

“Yeah, man, how is it?” Elias chimed in.

“He’s cool as shit,” Matt laughed. “And he plays hockey.”

“Naturally,” Sam smiled.

“Does anyone else know?” Marky asked, looking interested in the whole situation.

“Just our families, two of our other childhood friends, Gio, her fiancé, and you guys.”

“Do we hate her?” Sam asked, the guys scoffing at his reply.

“Someone mute him,” Johnny replied, rolling his eyes. “You can’t just say that shit, Sam.”

“I’m serious though,” Sam replied, leaning against his dining room table. “Caroline...do we hate her for keeping it a secret?”

“No, absolutely not,” Matt replied, shaking his head. “I mean...I was upset and I guess a part of me kind of understands and that there will also be another part of me that might never understand...but no, we don’t hate her.”

“Oh shit,” Sam leaned towards the camera, squinting before shaking his head and leaning back, arms crossed. “He loves her.”

“What?” A mingle of guys' voices came through, Matt’s as well.

“Shut up,” Matt added, shaking his head.

“You do!” Sam said, pointing. “You’ve got that same lovesick puppy look you did when you came to Calgary! I would know, I witnessed it for those first two seasons!”

“OOH CAP’S IN LOVE.”

“Can we see her?”

“Yeah, what’s she look like?”

“Is she gonna come up here with you?”

“So when’s the wedding?”

“Have you told her yet?”

“Okay, all of you shut the hell up,” Matt said, raising his voice above all of their continuous questions before sighing. “Maybe...maybe I am still having feelings from back then and maybe she might too, but she’s fucking engaged.”

Michaelson let out a low whistle, shaking his head as his roommate, Ricky, another rookie, shook his head– the two of them in the same frame. “Yikes.”

Rittich held up a hand, furrowing his brows. “Hold up, did you say engaged?”

“Yeah, she’s engaged, and the guys’ a total douche,” Matt replied, running his hands through his hair.

“...So like, are you going to try and get with her?” Sam asked, blowing softly into the noisemaker.

“Did you not just hear that she’s engaged, Sam?” Sean asked, in disbelief from Sam’s question.

“So? They have a kid together and I’m willing to put major bank on it that she never wanted to break up with him anyway.”

“Hate to say it, but he’s got a point.” Noah nodded.

“No, he doesn’t!” Luc scoffed, shaking his head. “Don’t just swoop in and get with her, you should talk first.”

“I find that skipping the talking and going straight to the action works out best,” Sam replied, shrugging.”

“Which is why you’re still single after so many failed relationships,” Marky added, smiling. “I’m with Luc. Talk to her first, see where her head is at and you never know what could happen. But I definitely think you should go after her.”

“Yeah, just don’t follow Sam’s suggestion or it’ll get messy.” Johnny nodded, a bunch of the other guys all in agreeance.

“Permission to speak?” Ricky asked, raising his hand and when Matt just waved him off, he put his hand down and smiled. “What’s her Instagram? Can we see what she looks like?”

“What? No!” Matt replied, shaking his head. “I don’t need any of you being stalkers and following her.”

“Come on, we won’t like anything!” Elias chimed in, a smile on his face. “We’re already all in agreement that we like her anyway since we don’t hate her.”

“Yeah, and I want to meet the kid!” Sam nodded, others agreeing. “When’s he coming up?”

As everyone started to get riled up again, Matt shook his head, waving his hands in front of his camera to shut them up. “Listen, you guys have to swear not to say anything. Like...don’t tell your wives, your girlfriends, your parents– anyone. We haven’t talked about how we were going to approach it...and if it gets out before we’re ready, it’ll be super messy and I’ll probably end up a dead man.” He watched as they all nodded in agreement, a few giving verbal agreements. “Great, so–” he paused, seeing Michaelson and Ricky sharing a phone and smiling. “What are you two doing?”

“Nothing!” They both snapped their heads up, eyes wide before Michaelson smiled. “Definitely not...looking at her Instagram.”

“How did you–”

“You had her tagged in old pictures, Cap,” Ricky laughed, turning Michaelson’s phone around to show a picture of the 14-year-old versions of Matt and Caroline standing on the beach in Florida. “Her Instagram is carolinemarsh, no spaces.”

Matt groaned, watching as his teammates all started to pull out their phones, no doubt looking her up. “I hate all of you, this meeting is over.”

“AT LEAST TRY AND SEE IF SHE HAS FEELINGS!” Rasmus yelled, Matt hanging up the call before closing his computer and any of them could chime in.

He walked back over to his bed and placed his laptop down at the side table, plugging it in before leaving his room and heading down the stairs...when his phone vibrated.

Benny 🤠: I was dead serious about that lovesick look Chucky. I wasn’t fucking with you. If you still get that look around her even almost 10 years later...that’s something worth going after.

Matt: Thanks man, I’ll take it into consideration.

Benny 🤠: And if you fuck it up again, can I go after her? She’s beautiful and I think I’m great step-dad material.

Matt: 😑 Hell no.

Benny 🤠: Kidding, kidding. But really Chucky, go after her dude.

“Do team meetings always last this long, Bee-Bee?” Matt heard Ethan ask, a heavy sigh following soon after.

“Normally no, but since he’s not there with them, there’s definitely a lot he needs to catch up on,” Brady replied.

Matt shoved his phone into his pant pocket and jogged the rest of the way downstairs, seeing the two of them and Taryn standing in the living room, all dressed up in warm clothes and holding hockey sticks. “Sorry, I’m ready to go.”

“Great,” Ethan replied, pushing himself off of the couch and picking up his stick before grabbing Brady’s hand and dragging him over to the door. “I picked you for my team. Bee-Bee and I will set everything up, you and Ti-Ti have to grab the pucks.”

Taryn walked over and handed Matt one of his sticks she must’ve brought up from the basement. “I agree with Sam.”

“What?” Matt asked, brows furrowed as she walked right by him. He reached out and grabbed her elbow, stopping her. “How did you–”

“I heard you outside your door when Ethan sent me up to get you.” She laughed, shrugging her shoulders. “And I agree with him. You should go after her.”

“She’s engaged,” he spoke softly, knowing that Caroline was somewhere in the house with their parents. “What doesn’t anyone get about that?”

Taryn looked around to make sure the coast was clear before she sighed and looked back at him. “You didn’t hear it from me,” she looked around again, placing a hand on his shoulder. “But things between when have been kind of iffy. They haven’t had sex in like, two months–”

“Taryn!” He said, eyes wide as he brushed her hand off of his shoulder. “What the hell?!”

“What? She, Emma, and I have girl chats like once a week over Facetime.” She replied, shrugging. “He kept coming onto her in Florida but she just shut him down.” She bent down and picked up the small black bag that was full of street hockey pucks, smiling at him. “October was two months ago, Matt. Take that as you will.”

Matt stood there as Taryn walked out of the front door to join Brady and Ethan out in the driveway. He walked towards the kitchen to grab himself a tumbler to pour some hot chocolate into so he could have a warm drink outside. He tried not to focus on what Taryn had said, but it was hard not to. He knew Jonathan was a dick, but he didn’t think that things between him and Caroline were, as Taryn had put it, iffy. In fact, if it wasn’t for that and Ethan letting it slip that the two of them had fought most of the time in Florida, he would’ve believed Heather and thought that the two of them had ‘something good’– whatever that means...barf.

“Ethan told me to come tell you to hurry up.” He turned to see Caroline walking into the kitchen carrying a crock-pot in her kitchen mitt-covered hands. She placed it on top of the counter before plugging it into an outlet, turning it onto low. “Make him wait any longer and he might start fighting Brady.”

“Brady would annihilate him,” Matt laughed, holding up a packet of hot chocolate. “Do you want a cup?”

“Please,” she nodded, taking the kitchen mitts off of her hands and reaching up to take the Boston University pom-pom beanie off of her head. “He said he got to see your team? Something about a work meeting?”

“Yeah, over zoom,” Matt nodded, pouring the powdered mix into a mug for her and then a tumbler for himself. “I uh...I kind of, no I definitely,” he sighed, crumbling up the empty packets and tossing them into the trash can before looking at her. “I told them...about him.”

He watched as her eyebrows raised in shock for only a second before they relaxed again. He took in the lightly done make-up on her face, always her usual– “just a little bit of mascara and my best chapstick”– but didn’t fail to notice how she was chewing on the inside of her cheek. “Okay.”

“Wait, what?” He asked, shaking his head. “You’re not mad?”

“I mean...he kind of crashed your meeting,” she sighed, crossing her arms and leaning against the counter. “Plus they’re your team and you’re their Captain. There’s a certain amount of trust and respect there...and keeping something like this would, at least to me, maybe make them question that when they don’t need to.”

Holy shit. She understood and God if he could, he’d take Sam’s advice and just go for it– kiss the hell out of her for understanding where he was coming from. But he didn’t know why he was so surprised...she always got him that way.

“I swore them to secrecy,” he said, clearing his throat. “Like, not to tell anyone– not even their wives or girlfriends...literally no one and I think they understand it, so we should be okay.”

“I trust you,” she nodded. “And if you trust them...then I do too. But maybe no more putting it out there until we figure everything out...okay?”

“Yeah, definitely.” He replied, the kettle whistling as the water finished boiling.

The two of them walked over towards the stove, Caroline leaning back against the counter as Matt picked up the kettle. She leaned up and opened the cabinet, pulling down a bag of mini-marshmallows before undoing the clip on the bag and reaching it, dropping a handful each into the two cups. Matt poured the hot water into the two cups before resting it back onto the stove, turning it off. As he mixed it with a spoon, he thought back on all of the times the two had done exactly this while growing up.

“We don’t have any whipped cream,” he said, handing her the mug. “I know how you prefer your hot chocolate with at least, 30% whipped cream.”

“That’s fine,” she laughed, holding it close to her. “Besides, I’m not 12 anymore. I’m capable of drinking hot chocolate with no whipped cream.”

The tone in her voice was a joking one and Matt just smiled. “No, you’re not.”

“You’re right, I’m not.” She replied, bringing the mug up carefully to her lips.

As the two of them stood there, he found himself thinking about what both Ethan and Taryn had told him. She seemed so...normal for someone who spent the better part of a week vacation away from the brutal winter cold, fighting with her fiancé. What were they fighting about? What kind of angry person was Jonathan? Did he yell at her? Scream at her? Make her cry?

He felt his jaw tense as he took a careful, small sip of the hot drink, letting the liquid slip down his throat as he tried to get away from those thoughts. Which only made things worse once his mind drifted to what Taryn had said. “But things between when have been kind of iffy.” “He kept coming onto her in Florida but she just shut him down.” He tilted his tumbler up to his lips again, hoping that she didn’t see his gaze linger down her body. She looked the same, but yet so different. Her teenage frame was long gone and had developed into a woman’s figure– the kinds in the magazines his older teammates back in high school used to pass around the locker room. Her hips were bigger, she still maintained her curvy frame but she just...seemed older, more mature, and definitely really fucking sexy.

She was wearing dark blue skinny jeans that hugged her legs and hips perfectly, some tight v-neck that was tucked into said skinny jeans, and a thick cream-colored cardigan that she had previously been hugging close to her body, but was now open to the point to where he could almost see the way her shirt clung to her chest. His Adam's apple bobbed– shit, have they gotten bigger?

“They haven’t had sex in like, two months–”

They’ve definitely gotten bigger...or is it just the shirt and cardigan? Oh God, he should probably look away before she noticed him checking out her chest. His eyes dwindled down her very, very drool-inducing legs– nope, not going to think about that, snap out of it. When he landed on her shoe attire for the night, he smiled. Caroline Marsh might’ve grown into a woman’s body, but those white keds would show that she was still the same girl he knew.

“Matt?”

“Hm?” He asked, looking up at her with a slight panic, hoping she hadn’t caught him.

“You should probably get outside,” she laughed, nodding her head towards the door. “Don’t want to have to face the wrath of your eight-year-old.”

“Oh yeah, definitely.” He replied, nodding as he went to walk out of the kitchen. “You want to come out with us?”

“No, I’m okay in here. I’ll probably just help my Mom and Chantal with whatever they’re doing.” She nodded, looking over her shoulder.

He nodded and waited before she turned around to let his eyes dwindle down to the one place he hadn’t been able to check out. Sure enough, her ass was just as perfect as the rest of her and there was no doubt in his mind that it wasn’t just the jeans making it look that round and perky. He turned back towards the living room, grabbing the hockey stick he left up against the couch before heading towards the door. He took one last look towards the kitchen to see Caroline putting a few more marshmallows into her mug before walking out of the kitchen...and phew.

“October was two months ago, Matt. Take that as you will.”

Jonathan, that poor, poor schmuck hadn’t gotten to touch her in any physical way in two months and Matt tried to bite back the smile that was growing as he had that thought. He’d tried to come onto her in Florida and was only shot down those entire seven days they were gone. Maybe it was because Caroline just wasn’t feeling it or maybe it was something else. He didn’t want to just go ahead and assume that it was because of him...because that was it– he didn’t know. But it was hard not to let that little-known fact get into his head and boost the confidence he was already starting to build, and even harder to hold back the smug smile on his face as he walked out into the cold winter air.

He wasn’t even fully sure if it really had anything to do with him...but he was hoping that it did.

When the afternoon faded into night, two more guests found themselves joining the New Year’s Eve party at the Tkachuk household– Jonathan and the boy two streets over who had transferred to Taryn’s school, who Matt now knew as Cameron. Matt figured Jonathan would be joining them sooner or later, but Cameron’s presence took both Brady and Matt by surprise and they could’ve doubled over in shock when Taryn had come walking over to the rest of the party, holding his hand and introducing him as her boyfriend. Everyone else seemed like they were already in the know except for Brady and Matt, who took full advantage of playing the big brother card and trying to question and intimidate him. Taryn just rolled her eyes and never even flinched at their big brother act, their Mom called them out on it since Cameron’s lived in the neighborhood for the last ten years and both Caroline and Emma told them to cut it out since Cameron was clearly letting the embarrassing questions that the two Tkachuk boys were throwing out, get to him.

Since there was still snow on the ground in their backyard, it was a constant rotation of hanging out inside of the house and moving out onto the patio where Matt’s Dad had brought out two of the portable heaters so they wouldn’t freeze once they chose to sit outside. They did lots of things to pass the time– played Xbox where Ethan still hadn’t beat Matt at NHL 24 but managed to beat Brady, sang embarrassing songs during karaoke that Taryn, Emma, and Caroline insisted that everyone join in on. From the early 2000s, 80’s, 90’s and current hits, no great or embarrassing song went unsung– Brady even getting everyone to pressure Matt and Caroline into singing a duet of Breaking Free, recreating the video of them that was stashed somewhere in both parents belongings, singing the very same song they had that summer, months after the first High School Musical movie had come out and almost ten-year-old Caroline was obsessed with, of course making Matt become obsessed with it too. And like they did back then, the two of them had tried to perform it to their best abilities, just like Troy and Gabriella had in the movie.

It was a hit with everyone at the party...except for maybe Jonathan who had a very obvious sullen look on his face. And it seemed from the moment their playful duet was finished, Jonathan never left her side. When everyone moved to the kitchen to grab some snacks to eat, he was right there helping her make a plate. When everyone moved outside, boom– there was Jonathan sitting right beside her, left hand out of view, but no doubt resting on Caroline’s thigh. Even when the short meal was finished and they all stood around to make their drink choices for the night (mainly the parents being the ones who chose to drink alcohol), he was right by her side. Once they were done doing stuff inside, they opted to change the channel back to the countdown since it was 10 o’clock and closer to midnight before everyone but Ethan, Taryn, and Cameron decided to move outside.

As expected, Jonathan walked up beside Caroline and wrapped an arm around her waist. Matt couldn’t help but pay more attention to them throughout the night thanks to what Taryn had told him earlier that day. And one thing he noticed? No matter how many times Jonathan has his hand resting anywhere on her or an arm around her waist...she never melted into him the way she had when Matt would hug her, or even how she did at Brady’s game back on his birthday when he led her through the door.

Guess everything wasn’t so picture-perfect after all, no matter how hard Jonathan seemed to try and play it off as such.

“I’m bored,” Ethan sighed dramatically, coming up behind Brady and resting his chin on his shoulder. “Bee-Bee, will you and Matt come down to the basement with me so we can play HORSE or something? The countdown is boring, they just keep talking.”

Brady looked at Matt and shrugged. “Yeah, we’ll come with you. I’m getting a bit cold anyway.”

“Mimi, is there anything I can have to drink?” He asked, standing up.

“Mhhm, you’ve got some coke’s and those strawberry-kiwi capri-suns in the fridge or water.” Matt’s Mom nodded, taking a sip of her margarita.

Ethan chewed on the inside of his cheek before looking across the table. “Jonathan, what are you drinking and why is it green?”

Jonathan looked down at his glass and tilted his head to the side. “Some new smoothie pack I got from the store. It’s pretty good, do you want to smell it?”

Ethan nodded and walked around the table, carefully smelling the glass before looking back at him. “What’s in it?”

“Spinach, carrots, kale, pineapple, apples, and blueberries are all in it.”

“I’ll consider it.” He replied, walking away from the table and back into the house.

“If he gets tired, just put him in the guest room.” Matt’s Dad nodded, sipping his beer. “I’d be surprised if he even made it to midnight, let alone another thirty minutes.”

“Will do,” Matt nodded, scooting out of his chair as Brady did the same, the both of them walking into the house.

“I’ll be downstairs, please don’t take too long or I might just die of boredom!” Ethan said, his head peeking from around the hall corner before they heard the sound of the basement door opening and his footsteps echoing down the steps.

“Five feet apart!” Brady said, pointing at Cameron and Taryn on the couch who were taking a selfie.

“Oh screw off, Brady,” Taryn replied, rolling her eyes before looking at Matt. “You too. I might be five years younger, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t know how often you snuck Liney over.”

Matt held his hands up in defense, shaking his head. “I wasn’t going to say anything.”

He and Brady walked into the kitchen, each to grab themself a soda before heading out and down the hall. Before Matt could walk down the steps, Brady placed a hand on his shoulder, stopping him. “Can we talk really quick...before we go down there?”

“Sure,” Matt replied, stepping away from the door and leaning against the wall. “What’s up?”

“I wanted to apologize...for what I said at Thanksgiving,” Brady said, looking in the direction of the basement. “It was super fucked up of me to insinuate that you would just leave in the middle of the night to go back to Calgary and to tell you to just forget about all of us keeping it from you.”

“It was,” Matt replied, crossing his arms.

Brady sighed, tapping his fingers against his coke can as he looked down at it. “She’s always been like a sister to me, so when I walked over to her place to see her just kneeling on the floor over some pies and crying...I was pissed.” He looked back up at Matt, shaking his head. “I actually was really against not telling you when I first found out. Dad and I got into an argument the same day that I found out. I even stormed over next door when I knew she was home alone with full intentions of trying to convince her to tell you.”

“But then she got you to keep it a secret…”

Brady nodded. “She took me upstairs to her room and there was Ethan, standing up in his crib and holding onto the bars doing that little awkward baby bounce thing. She picked him up and let me hold him and we just sat there on her bed playing with Ethan and she told me why.” He shrugged his shoulders, sighing. “And I wish I could’ve told you then, but no matter how hard I tried to get her to change her mind...she stuck to it.”

“We’ve been close since you were born, Brady,” Matt said, letting out a heavy sigh. “And that night, I was really pissed about everything and at everyone. But I’ve been trying to navigate all of that and I think that night, I was really more upset about what you said than what you did.” Matt looked down the basement steps, making sure Ethan wasn’t coming up. “It almost felt like you were telling me to forget about how everyone else had built this great relationship with him and I was just supposed to move on and forge my own without being the least bit upset.”

“I know and I’m sorry,” Brady said, shaking his head. “I really didn’t mean for it to come across that way, I think I was more upset that you were so pissed that you’d just shut down and not even give it a chance, you know?”

Matt nodded, the silence settling between them for a few seconds before he motioned towards his face. “Sorry for punching you in the face.”

“Sorry for hitting your shoulder,” Brady nodded. “I swear I wasn’t aiming for it.”

“It’s fine,” Matt replied, sighing as he stood up from the wall, holding out his hand. “Are we good?”

“Just like that?” Brady asked, looking at his hand and then him with wide eyes.

“I mean, I’ll definitely be pissed deep inside for some time about everyone doing what they did...but I’m doing this thing where I’m trying not to let what happened ruin the time that I have with Ethan and everyone right now...so yeah, just like that.”

Brady reached out and shook his hand before they both leaned in and hugged it out. “I was hoping that maybe me fighting that Lambert kid would give me some leeway, but I’ll take this instead.”

Matt pulled back, both of them laughing. “Yeah, what the hell was that all about?”

“Minus the fact that he kept slashing the shit out of me most of the game?” Brady replied, rolling his eyes. “Just said some stuff about you and your shoulder. How he said he should’ve hit a little bit harder, how all you did was complain about calls that game and that you were a bitch for running back here afterward.”

Matt just rolled his eyes, scoffing. “Not even giving him the time of day with that shit.”

“Normally I wouldn’t, especially if I knew that you would play him again and stand your own ground. But the kid's a dirty player and I felt like hitting someone.” The right corner of Brady’s mouth tugged up in a smile. “He just happened to be right there when I did it.”

“Well,” Matt put a hand on Brady’s shoulder, sighing. “If it makes you feel any better, I had no doubt that you would win in that fight.”

“Fuck off,” Brady laughed, rolling his eyes as he shoved his hand off. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom really quick, but tell E I’ll be down there in like a minute.”

“Alright,” Matt nodded, turning towards the basement steps as Brady walked just past the door and into the hall bathroom. He was surprised that in the six minutes Ethan had gone down ahead of them, he hadn’t made his way up the stairs to tell them to hurry up, but Matt brushed it off as maybe he was just getting everything set for whatever he wanted the three of them to do.

When he reached the bottom of the stairs and stood in the small media room, he saw that the door leading out to the room in the basement that was the designated ‘hockey’ room was open, but he didn’t hear any kind of movement or sound. “Ethan?” He called out, walking towards the room and hearing the sound of a stick tapping against the shooting pad. “What are you doing? Just sitting and waiting?” He laughed, walking into the room and turning to see Ethan standing on the raised shooting pad platform.

He was wearing his hockey gloves and had his hands crossed on the butt end of his stick, his head ducked down as if he was resting against it...just standing there. Matt placed his coke can down at a chair by the wall and walked over once he noticed that Ethan’s shoulders were subtly rising and falling at a faster than normal pace, almost like they would after skating from one end of the ice to the other without a break.

“Ethan, you okay?”

Ethan slowly looked up, his eyebrows furrowed as he blinked and shook his head slightly, but Matt wasn’t sure if that was a reply to his question or, how it seemingly looked– like Ethan had maybe zoned out and was trying to shake himself back into focus. Still, when Matt made eye contact with Ethan, there was an uneasy feeling in his stomach.

He walked towards him, squatting down in front of him and reaching up as he rested the back of his hand against his cheek. His skin was hot, but he could feel the cold sweat and when he sat back, he could see how flushed he was. “Did you drink this?” Matt looked towards the cup nearby and pick it up, taking a sip of the little bit that was left as Ethan nodded. The moment that he tasted the tart fruit, his heart dropped. It wasn’t overwhelming in the melted smoothie, but it was enough to let him know what was wrong.

He looked back at Ethan and could see splotchy red spots appearing on his skin from beneath the collar of Ethan’s shirt, and even some on the side of his neck. Ethan coughed forcefully before taking a breath that sounded more like a strangled gasp as he looked at Matt. “My throat feels,” another cough and a wheezy breath that followed. “Funny.”

Matt knocked the stick out of his hand and let it crash to the floor as he grabbed Ethan and didn’t even care about the stinging pain in his left shoulder as he left the room as fast as he could and back towards the basement stairs, immediately bumping into Brady. “What’s going on?”

“EpiPen,” Matt said, brushing by as he stepped up the first step. “Where do they keep his EpiPen?”

He could see the shock on Brady’s face as he followed behind Matt, “I-uh…kitchen! They have one in the kitchen.”

“Grab it,” Matt replied, both of their sets of steps leaving thundering echoes against the basement walls in their wake.

Matt brought his right hand that was still holding onto Ethan’s now empty glass, up to Ethan’s back and patting it lightly as he tried not to focus on the struggling gasps of breath coming from Ethan or the way his own heart was racing against his chest as the adrenaline ran through his body. “Why are you two making so much noise?” Taryn asked, both her and Cameron still sitting on the couch.

“Get up,” Matt said, his voice coming out harsher than he intended it to.

“What’s going on?” Taryn asked, her and Cameron both standing up as she looked from him to Brady as he scoured the kitchen cabinets. “What happened?”

Matt bent down by the couch and laid Ethan down onto the couch grabbing one of the back couch cushions and putting it behind his back, so he wasn’t completely lying down. “He’s having a reaction.”

“Oh my God,” she said, rushing out of the room and shoving the closed blinds open before going out onto the patio.

In seconds, it sounded like there were thousands of footsteps rushing into the living room all at once. Everyone gathered around the back of the couch. “Ethan?” Caroline gasped, pushing her way around the couch and shoving by Cameron, dropping down onto her knees beside Matt and reaching up at Ethan’s head. “Hi, hey, it’s okay,” she whispered, brushing back his hair. “Just try and take calm, deep breaths for me, okay?”

“Where’s the fucking EpiPen?” Brady yelled, slamming another drawer.

“It’s in the pantry, top shelf,” Chantal said, rushing over towards Brady and opening the pantry, pointing at the top shelf.

Brady grabbed it and came rushing over, handing it out to Matt. “Do you want me to or?”

Matt just grabbed it and took off the blue cap, reaching out for Ethan’s left leg as he held it firmly in place. He took a deep breath as he held the EpiPen in his right fist before pressing it into Ethan’s thigh, holding it for five seconds before pulling it away, handing it back off to Brady, and then rubbing the injection spot. The moment he found out about Ethan’s allergy, he spent all night researching what to do if he were to ever have a reaction. But that didn’t mean that he wasn’t fighting like hell not to show that his hand was shaking from having to just stab a needle into his son’s thigh.

“What the hell did he eat?” Andrew asked, looking back towards the kitchen. “Nothing here even has a remote piece of peaches.”

“He drank what he had in this,” Matt replied, reaching back and holding up the glass cup, handing it off to Caroline who was just looking at it confused.

Her eyebrows relaxed and she stood up, looking at Jonathan. “I thought you said there weren’t any peaches in your smoothie mix?”

“There wasn’t! There isn’t!” He said, shaking his head and clearly looking panicked as his eyes moved down to Ethan. “I swear, I didn’t see them on the bag before I threw it away!”

“Hey, deep breaths,” Matt replied, reaching out behind the cushion that was beneath Ethan’s feet and tugging on the blanket, draping it over Ethan before grabbing his hand.

Caroline had stomped around the couch and over to the trash can, stepping onto the step and opening the lid, bringing out the white plastic bag. She came storming back in, shoving it into his chest. “Did you even read the back?” She yelled, shoving it at him again until he grabbed it.

He flipped it over and his eyes moved across the plastic bag before stopping and it was like you could see all of the blood in his face drain. “I-I didn’t know, I swear I wouldn’t have–”

“Do you realize what you could’ve done?” She yelled, looking up at him as she went to shove him again, only for Matt’s Dad to stop her.

Matt looked away from the two of them when he felt Ethan squeeze his hand. When he looked down, Ethan had a rash forming around his mouth, and his once eased breathing was starting to labor again, his eyes wide and full of both fear and tears. “We need to go,” Matt said, scooping him up off of the couch, and tucking the blanket into him.

“I just got through to 911,” Cameron said, holding his phone to his ear. “They’re sending an ambulance and they’ll be here in–”

“Brady, you sober?” Matt asked, looking at his brother, who nodded. “Grab your keys, you’re driving.”

“Caroline, wait–” Jonathan was cut off by Caroline’s hand, swatting his arm away from her.

“You need to go home, Jonathan,” she said, pointing at him. “I don’t, I can’t,” she shook her head, backing away from him. “Just go home.”

Brady opened the front door for Matt as Caroline came running up behind them, closing it behind her as they quickly got to Brady’s car. “Care, get up front,” Brady said, opening the door for her and letting her get in before opening Matt’s door to the backseat and closing it behind him, then rushing around the car and into the driver's seat, turning on his car.

“Cutting it close, Brady,” Matt said, resting Ethan in his lap as he held him against him, trying to cover his shaking body with the blanket.

“Fuck it, I’ll pay for the repairs,” Brady said, barely letting his car warm up long enough before he was peeling out of the driveway and then speeding out of the neighborhood.

The hum of Brady’s tires against the pavement and the low volume of the radio were the only sounds in the car as they all sat in worried silence. Caroline had shifted in her seat, turning her upper body sideways so she could reach back and hold onto Ethan’s left hand that was draping out from beneath the bottom of the blanket. Brady was going as fast as he could while trying to be safe since both Matt and Ethan in the backseat didn’t have a seatbelt on. As soon as he pulled up in front of the emergency room, he barely had time to put the car into park before Matt was pushing his door open and getting out, Caroline following him.

“You guys go, I’ll find a spot and come in!” He said, waving them off as the two rushed in through the automatic sliding doors of the emergency room.

“Help!” Matt said, making eye contact with the nurse behind the check-in desk. “He needs help, he can’t breathe.”

Almost like it was a movie, three people wearing scrubs came rushing over from around the hall corner that led towards the double doors of the back half of the emergency room, one of them pushing a gurney. “What do we got here?” The woman asked, as a man wearing maroon scrubs took Ethan out of his arms and placed him on the gurney.

“He-He’s allergic to peaches and he had a smoothie,” Caroline said, as they laid Ethan down onto the gurney, taking the blanket from beneath him. “We didn’t know, I swear we didn’t know.”

“That’s alright, accidents happen,” the man said, as the woman shined a light down at a panicked Ethan.

“I need you to open your mouth, sweetie,” she said, resting a hand just at the top of his head as he coughed and wheezed. “We’re looking at an anaphylactic reaction here.”

“He’s already had an EpiPen and he was fine,” Matt said, him and Caroline slowly following as they started to roll the gurney. “And then he got the rash on his mouth a-and the breathing and the shaking–”

“Airway’s almost closed,” the woman said, turning off her light and looking at her coworkers. “We need to get moving, now. Ten liters non-rebreather mask.”

They kept following Ethan until the man stood in front of them, the gurney still moving on. “Sir, you two need to stay here.”

“What? No!” Matt said, trying to step by him. “No way he’s eight! He can’t go back there by himself.”

“Sir, I understand,” the man sighed, clearly having dealt with people like Matt and Caroline before. “But in order to–”

“Then let her go back with him,” Matt said, nudging Caroline up. “He’s scared and–”

“In order to give him the full care that he needs, you guys have to stay here in the waiting room,” the man spoke firmly, nodding at the two of them before letting his arms fall to his sides. “We’ll take good care of your son, I promise.”

They watched helplessly as he walked back towards the double doors and disappeared behind them, cutting them off just as they saw a small glimpse of Ethan’s gurney being turned down the hall.

“Oh my God,” Caroline whispered, bringing her hands to her face. “Oh my God, he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe a-and his airway is closing and he’s back there all alone.”

Matt turned towards her, grabbing onto her wrists and pulling them away from her before cupping her face, tilting her head up to look at him. “He’s going to be okay,” Matt replied, trying to put as much confidence behind his words that he had to offer. “They’ll take care of him and we’ll be able to see him soon.”

“He’s alone,” she whispered, tears spilling from her eyes as her bottom lip trembled. “He l-looked so scared and we’re not there with him a-and–”

The double doors opened again and the two of them turned forward to see Richard walking out from behind them, wearing his scrubs and white coat. He walked over and Caroline rushed into his arms, hugging him as she cried. He hugged her back, placing a hand on the back of her head as he nodded at Matt. “Your Mom called.”

“They won’t let us back there,” Matt sighed, waving off at the doors.

“They just need space to work, Matt. No families are allowed back until things settle.” He stepped away from Caroline, holding onto one of her hands as he looked at them both. “I’ll go back and stay with him, okay? You guys need to stay out here and I’ll come get you when things come down.”

“He’s going to be okay, right?” She cried, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand.

“Dr. Gonzalez is one of the best, that’s why she’s working tonight.” He nodded, walking back towards the double doors. “I’ll come and get you as soon as I know anything.”

Helpless once again, they watched as the only other familiar person in the room disappeared behind those doors, leaving them alone in the out of character for New Year’s Eve...near-empty waiting room.

Caroline was taking fast and heavy breaths, trying to calm herself down as she tried to hold back the sobs. She bent down and picked up the blanket Ethan had been wrapped in that fell off of the gurney, looking at it before she turned to Matt, shaking her head. “I think I’m going to be sick.”

Matt placed his hand on her lower back and ushered her down the hall, back into the waiting room, and towards the divet where three bathrooms were. He walked into the family bathroom, nudging her ahead before closing the door behind them. Before he could even help her over to the toilet, she ran over to the sink and hunched over, throwing up. Matt rushed over and reached for the pieces of hair that were falling into her face, making a makeshift ponytail in his hand and rubbing her back with his free hand as she rested her arms on the sink and sobbed and dry-heaved, trying to calm herself down as best as she could.

He turned the faucet on as she leaned more on her arms before reaching out and grabbing a paper towel, soaking it beneath the water as she lifted her head, resting a hand beneath the cold running water. “It’s okay,” he whispered, letting her hair fall against her back as he reached to wipe her mouth and chin. “You heard your Dad...she’s the best.”

“What if that’s not enough?” She whimpered, eyes brimmed with tears again as she stood herself up. “Wha-What if they’re too late an-and,” she was getting worked up again, taking deep gasps as her nose flared and lips quivered. “What i-i-if h-he–”

Matt wrapped an arm around her, pulling her into him just as she broke down into full-on tears and sobs. “He’ll be fine,” he whispered, furrowing his eyebrows in an effort to keep his own tears at bay. He cupped the back of her head with his free hand as she started to shake in his arms and rested his right cheek on top of her head. “He’ll be fine.”

Caroline just held onto his sweatshirt with a tight grip as she cried against his chest, Matt letting her get out all of the fear and frustration that she could before they would have to leave the bathroom. He started to brush his thumb against her hair as she started to calm down, her sobs turning into quiet sniffles before she went silent altogether. Matt leaned back slightly, looking down at her as she took a deep breath and exhaled, keeping her head pressed against his chest.

“You ready to go out there?”

She shook her head, sniffling again. “No.” She took another deep breath and exhaled shakily, pulling away from his chest and looking up at him. “I-I’m scared and I don’t want to sit th-there and see them come out and tell me bad news.”

“Good thing we won’t be getting bad news,” Matt replied, bringing both of his hands up to her face and using his thumbs to wipe her cheeks. “Because they’ll come out of those apparently super secretive double doors, tell us everything is fine and then we can see him.” He fought to keep the secure smile on his lips so that she couldn’t see just how much he was unsure of his own words.

Because all he could see every time he blinked, was the fear in Ethan’s eyes when he was lying on the couch. And on constant repeat in his mind from the moment he had carried him up the basement steps, were the muffled gasps coming from his eight-year-old’s mouth, his lungs fighting for air.

But he wouldn’t let her know that. He couldn’t let her know that. She was worrying and crying enough for them both, so he just wanted to be strong for the both of them.

She sniffled again, nodding her head as she looked up at him. “Okay, I think I’m ready.”

Matt nodded and let his hands return to his sides before grabbing a paper towel and folding it, getting it a little damp beneath the stream of water before shutting it off and turning back to her, plopping it softly just beneath her lower lashes, wiping away the collection of black streaks. Once he was done, he tossed it and the paper towel that he’d left in the sink, out into the trash can before leading her out of the bathroom door, one of her arms looped through his.

“Fuck off,” Caroline mumbled, taking Matt by surprise until he turned around to see a much older woman glaring at the two of them. Clearly, she had other ideas as to what the two of them were doing in the bathroom.

Respecting his elders aside, Matt sent the woman an equally unfriendly glare before moving Caroline ahead of him and towards the back wall where an empty row of chairs was lined against the wall, except for the one that had an anxious-looking Brady sitting in it, his feet bouncing against the floor. Matt sat Caroline down in the chair next to Brady before sitting down beside her, their presence getting Brady’s attention.

“Oh great, you’re here,” he huffed, holding out the clipboard to them. “I started filling out the paperwork...but I got stuck at the insurance part.”

Caroline reached out and grabbed the clipboard and then the pen from him as she leaned back into the chair, bringing it up to write. When she went to put the pen to paper, her hand started to shake and she stopped, closing her eyes and taking a few deep breaths.

“I’ll do it,” Matt said, reaching across and resting his hand on hers, taking the pen from it. “Just...tell me what to write and I’ll put it down.”

Caroline nodded as she handed him the board and spoke softly as she leaned over to read each line before telling him what to write. When they finished filling out the last section, Matt went to stand up but Brady beat him to it, coming in front of him and holding out his hand. “I’ll take it,” he looked at Caroline who was still holding onto the crumbled blanket. “You sit here.”

Matt nodded as Brady grabbed the clipboard and walked off. He could hear her shoes start to lightly bounce against the floor and turned to see that her whole body was starting to shake from the simple act of bouncing her feat. He put an arm over her shoulder and since there were no armrests between the seats, it was easy for Caroline to turn into his side, which she immediately did before pressing her head into the cotton material of his sweatshirt and crying. He lowered his arm down her back before bringing his left arm over and wrapping it around her as much as he could, squeezing her lightly and just whispering soft shush’s beneath his breath. She brought her legs up onto the chair Brady had been sitting in just as he started to make his way back, but instead of moving one seat down he just lifted them slightly and sat down, not caring if her shoes were pressed against his thigh. He reached his left hand out and relaxed it on her leg, softly brushing it back and forth before bringing his phone out of his pocket, no doubt keeping the rest of the family updated.

He didn’t know if it was a real saying or if was just something he thought up as he sat there with Caroline crying in his arms again while he stared ahead at the daunting double doors, but he couldn’t stop thinking about just how time seemed so meaningless within the four walls of any sort of waiting room. Seconds could feel like minutes, minutes could feel like hours until you’ve finally had enough of sitting there, continuously digging yourself further and further into the deep abyss of worst-case scenarios and what-if’s and finally look up at the monotonous analog clock that's decorated every classroom you’d ever sat in...you realize that you’d only been sitting there for a lot less time than it had felt like.

Time meant nothing within these four walls of the St. Vincents Medical Center E.R. waiting room. Just like the constant ‘what if I had done this differently’ scenarios meant nothing when it came to the medical state Ethan was in behind those double doors.

And instead of torturing himself further from staring back at the clock for what felt like every five minutes, but was actually every 30 seconds, Matt tried to center his focus on the feel of Caroline’s cardigan beneath his hand and how soft the cotton felt against his calloused hand. The way she was pressed against his side and giving him a sense of comfort. How she had her hand shoved inside of his sweatshirt pocket, resting it against his torso as her fingers would move every so often, rubbing his torso or her head resting halfway onto his chest. How even in the rush of things, her hair which was tangled by Matt’s efforts at creating a makeshift ponytail in the bathroom while she threw up, still felt soft while he every so often would just rub down her hair. More than anything, he just wanted to focus on how she had finally stopped crying and stressing herself out to the point where Matt thought he’d have to get them to check her in as well.

She was here with him and Brady, she was safe and calm. And that was the only thing keeping him from absolutely losing it and storming through the double doors himself.

He felt a nudge against his foot and he looked at Brady who was nodding up towards the check-in desk. When he looked over in that direction he saw Jonathan making his way over to them, looking just as frazzled as the rest of them. His gelled back hair from earlier in the night was now fluffed as if he’d run his fingers through it so much that the gel had been rubbed out. But otherwise, he was still the uptight and well-kept Jonathan that Matt had had the unpleasantry of coming to know. Matt felt his right hand tighten around Caroline’s waist as it left the bottom of her hair with every step that Jonathan took. Especially when he noticed how Jonathan’s eyes had focused on the two of them, Caroline’s posture with him, no doubt being the reason why Jonathan’s eyebrows had furrowed as he stuttered in his steps before regaining his composure and stopping at the row of chairs across from them.

For the first time since she had first leaned against him, Caroline had sat herself up fully. Matt only removed his left arm from around her, choosing to keep her right nestled right at her lower back as his thumb rubbed softly against it, letting her know that he was still there.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, her voice hoarse as she narrowed her eyes.

“I just wanted to see if he was okay,” Jonathan replied, taking a step towards them as he pulled his hands out of his coat pockets.

“No, he’s not okay,” her voice was starting to quiver slightly, Matt feeling her body start to tense against his palm. “I told you to go home, so go home. I don’t want,” she paused, taking a calming breath before leaning back into her chair and Matt’s hand, crossing her arms. “I don’t want to see you right now.”

The worried look on his face only deepened as he held his arms out to her in defeat. “Caroline, I swear–”

Matt looked at Brady and Brady nodded, the two of them getting out of their seats and causing Jonathan to step back as if he thought the two brothers were going after him. Instead, Matt stepped forward and Brady walked over, taking his place next to Caroline before Matt stepped just in front of her, blocking Jonathan’s view of her. “You need to leave.”

“I don’t have to do anything.”

“But you do,” Matt said, crossing his arms. “And I’d rather you leave on your own and not make me force you out of here.”

Jonathan shifted to his right, trying to look around him. “Caroline–”

“Don’t talk to her,” Matt said, stepping with him and shoving him back lightly.

“Excuse me,” They both looked over as a man in green scrubs came over, giving both of them harsh stares. “I’m going to have to ask the both of you to take this outside. Now.”

“But–” Jonathan looked back towards Matt, his jaw clenching before he tried to get another look at Caroline, only for Matt to block his way again. He turned around and made his way towards the doors of the emergency room.

Matt turned around to Brady and Caroline, nodding at his brother. “You stay here, I’ll make sure he leaves.” Brady just nodded, Caroline already curled up into his side and still clutching onto the blanket as Matt turned back around and made his way towards the automatic doors, following Jonathan all the way outside.

“I have every right to come here,” Jonathan said, turning around the moment the two walked out into the harsh winter air.

“You have absolutely no right to come here,” Matt seethed, stepping towards him. “Not after what you did.”

“It was an accident! I swear I didn’t know!” Jonathan said, raising his voice slightly as he dragged both of his hands through his hair. “I wouldn’t–”

“But you did!” Matt yelled, raising his arms slightly before letting them drop back to his side. “And accident or not, it was an accident that could kill him, Jonathan! Do you even understand that?”

Jonathan dragged his hands down his face, sighing as he nodded his head. “Of course I understand–”

“But do you?” Matt shook his head, waving his arm back towards the entrance of the emergency room. “His airway was closing the moment they got him on the gurney. EpiPens aren’t a full guarantee of aiding an allergic reaction, Jonathan. Sometimes, even with one, people still die.” He stepped closer to Jonathan, glaring at him as he pointed angrily at the doors. “He could still die! And all because you didn’t take five measly seconds to read the back of a damn nutrition label!”

The warm air from their heavy breathing floated out of their mouths and into the cold night as misty clouds, the silence heavy. Matt shook his head and scoffed as he turned away from Jonathan and stepped away. He didn’t want to look at the fear and concern on his face when he was the reason why any of them were in this position. It made him angry, it made him terrified for what awaited him at any moment now inside those four walls and God the last thing he ever wanted to do was break down in front of this asshole.

“It was an accident,” Jonathan spoke softly, breaking the silence.

The worry and guilt that was written all over his face was embedded in his words, getting Matt to turn around as even he started to let himself imagine how Jonathan was feeling in this moment, knowing that he was the reason why Ethan was in this position.

“I just...I didn’t see peaches on the cover, so I didn't read the back,” he frowned, shoving his hands into his coat pockets. “I thought it would be listed right there on the front.”

The minuscule bit of pity Matt had felt in those few seconds for Jonathan was quickly washed away by his confession. The confession that only fueled the anger he had inside of himself instead. “How the hell are you supposed to be his stepfather when you don’t even have the common sense to check the back of a label?” Matt snapped.

“I care about Ethan just as much as you do, Matt,” Jonathan replied, anger quickly taking over the guilt that had previously been on his face.

“Really?” Matt laughed. “Is that why he’s in the emergency room right now?” Jonathan had no reply and Matt just waved him off, shaking his head. “Go home, Jonathan. She doesn’t want to see you and quite frankly, neither do I.”

He turned to walk back towards the automatic doors when he heard Jonathan’s footsteps following just behind him. His body was immediately on edge and prepared to protect himself, his mind flashing back to how he’d been blindsided by Lambert only months earlier.

“Just because you knocked her up in high school, doesn’t make you more of a Dad to him than me.” Jonathan spat, clearly still angry from what Matt had said and clearly...still not a fan of Matt himself.

It happened in a flash— just how quickly Matt had turned around, reached out for Jonathan, and grabbed onto the collar of the sweater he was wearing before moving him off of the sidewalk and pushing him against the wall of the emergency room. The quickly weakening barrier within him that was barely holding onto keeping his emotions at bay, had snapped with that simple comment. His anger took over faster than anything, but he could feel the fear, sadness, and even guilt for talking to Brady so long in the hallway, swirling around in there as well.

“You don’t know shit about my relationship with my son.” He shoved him further into the wall. “You don’t know shit about my relationship with Care.” There was nowhere else for Jonathan to go, but Matt didn’t care. He’d try to shove him through the wall with each push as he gripped tighter on Jonathan’s sweater and glared at him. “You really think that just because you put a stupid diamond on her finger that you know more than me about either of them? That your relationship is better? Well, then you’re really fucking mistaken.”

The sound of the automatic doors opening couldn’t even tear Matt’s anger and attention away from Jonathan until he heard the sound of shoes scuffing against the sidewalk, stop just to his left. “Matt, the doctor, and Richard are back.” He turned to see Brady standing there, not even phased by Matt having Jonathan shoved against the brick wall. He crossed his arms and nodded back towards the door. “Line’s waiting for you. They’ve got an update on Ethan.”

It felt like his heart had jumped into his throat, a slight surge of relief washing over before the fear set in to shut it down. He turned back to Jonathan and glared. “If he’s anything but the perfect picture of health, I’ll kick your ass. I don’t care what it is.” He shoved him one last time before releasing his sweater and brushing it down, giving his shoulder a heavy pat, and walking towards Brady. “Make sure he gets the hell out of here.”

“I’d love to,” Brady replied, nodding at Matt before walking over to Jonathan.

Matt didn’t even bother to look back as he rushed through the automatic doors where he saw Caroline standing in front of Dr. Gonzalez and Richard, just at the entrance of the hall. “Sorry, I had to throw something away,” Matt said, coming up beside her and never flinching the moment her hand found its way to his back before he came to a stop.

“It’s fine,” Caroline spoke softly, nodding at him. “I didn’t want to...I just wanted to wait for you.”

He noticed that she was still holding into the blanket, half of it tucked beneath her left arm. He nodded and placed his hand on her lower back, letting his thumb rub softly against her cardigan. “Okay, so how is he doing? Is he okay?”

“Your son is responding well to the treatment,” she nodded, holding her clipboard against her chest. “He was able to come off of the oxygen mask a little after we started him on IV antihistamines and his oxygen levels are right where I love to see them at.”

He and Caroline both let out heavy sighs, his arm wrapping around her fully as she turned herself into him and hugged him. He could feel her shaking slightly, no doubt out of relief as she took deep calming breaths. “What now? What do we do?” He asked, looking from Dr. Gonzalez to Richard.

“We’re going to go ahead and keep him here overnight just to be sure he continues to react well to the treatment, but don’t worry, that’s just a precaution we like to do.” She smiled, nodding. “He’s going to be just fine.”

“Thank you,” Matt nodded, extending his free hand out. “I just...thank you.”

“It’s no problem at all,” she nodded. “Just make sure to be a little more diligent on checking food labels. Things get slipped by all the time and with an allergy as severe as his, it’s a very serious matter.”

“Yes Ma’am, of course,” Caroline nodded, turning around as Dr. Gonzalez gave them a polite nod before returning back through the double doors. “Can we see him? Is that okay?” She looked at Richard.

He nodded before looking over Matt’s shoulder. “I’m taking them up to see Ethan, would you like to come Brady?”

“No, that’s okay,” he nodded, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “I think I’ll go home and just let everyone know everything’s okay over here.”

Caroline stepped away from Matt and over to Brady, standing up on her toes and hugging him. Matt couldn’t hear what the two were saying, but she turned and kisses his cheek before stepping away and back towards Richard as they headed down the hall.

“Don’t worry, she’s all yours,” Brady said, holding up his hands, a smile growing on his face. “Though we all know if I was a year older, maybe two...she’d definitely like me better.”

Matt rolled his eyes and walked towards his brother, hugging him. That’s all it was supposed to be– a simple hug. But as he felt Brady hug him back, he felt that fear and worry come crashing back over him. He patted his brother's back, trying not to think about what would’ve happened if any of them had been drinking that night and they had to sit and wait for an ambulance. Would things have turned out differently? Would Ethan’s end result not be as good? Would it have been too late?

“Thank you,” Matt whispered, clenching his jaw as he tried to keep his tears at bay. “T-thank,”

“Of course,” Brady replied, cutting Matt off before giving his voice the chance to totally crack. Brady pulled away and rested his hands on his older brother’s shoulders, smiling and doing Matt a big favor by not pointing out his red eyes and wet lashes. “Just tell E that if he was so worried about losing to me in HORSE, he could’ve just said so. He didn’t have to go ahead and ingest peaches.”

The two of them laughed before Brady hugged him again, patting his upper back. “Love you.” When he pulled away again, he waved him off. “Now go tell my favorite nephew that I love him and please for the love of God, keep Line from having a mental breakdown.”

“I’ll try.” Matt nodded, turning around and jogging down the hall to where Richard and Caroline were standing by the double doors, waiting for him. “Sorry, I’m ready.”

“This is around the time when things start to get hectic in the ER, so instead of keeping him in a bed down here, we put him up in pediatrics,” Richard said, opening the double doors and allowing them to walk through. “Just follow me and you guys can go see him.”

They walked in silence through the hospital, every so often one of their shoes would scuff against the floor and make a noise that echoed down the halls. It didn’t seem all that lively around them as Richard led them to an elevator. But visiting hours were over, so it was really only the hospital staff that was walking the halls. Unlike he thought she would, Caroline stayed beside Matt the entire time. Even if her arm was no longer looped behind his back, her shoulder was always leaning against him. Once they got off at the Pediatrics floor, Richard stopped at the front desk and got the two of them visitors' badges, handing them off before leading them down another hallway. Matt tried not to look through each window they passed because he didn’t want to think about what any of the other kids in the taken beds were going through or their parents. So the moment Richard came to a stop in front of a closed-door ahead of them, he felt relieved.

The lights were on as a nurse was standing next to Ethan’s bed, paying attention to the monitor beside him, while Ethan himself was lying on his back, tucked in beneath the hospital blanket and fast asleep. The nurse came over in their direction, turning the lights off before walking out of the door and looking at Richard. “I just wanted to check his stats one more time before you guys came up here. He’s doing great and I’ll be back around again in an hour. If you need anything or if anything happens, there’s a remote that’s on his bedside table. Press the call button and I’ll come right by.”

“Thank you,” Caroline nodded, the nurse smiling before walking down the hall and into the next taken room, two doors down. “So we can just go in?”

Richard nodded, stuffing his hands in his coat pockets. “He’ll most likely be asleep for the rest of the night since they’ve got him on the diphenhyd...Benadryl, basically. Depending on how well this first one works out, they might do another dose in about four hours, but he should be fine. Otherwise, he’s just got an IV and he’s out cold.”

“How long do we get to stay?” Matt asked, looking away from the window.

“All night if you’d like. I had them bring in a cot for you guys, we call them the parent cots.”

Caroline walked over to him and hugged him tightly, kissing his cheek. “Thank you for staying with him.” She whispered, hugging him again.

“Of course, sweetheart.” He replied, kissing the top of her head before nodding for her to go in. “The remote for the tv is on his bedside table as well and there’s a bathroom in there too. You can turn on the tv if you like, I doubt it’ll wake him up.”

She nodded and walked to the door, stopping and looking back at Matt. “Go ahead, I’ll be right in.” He nodded, waving her off and watching her walk into the room before dragging a nearby chair by the side of Ethan’s bed, sitting down in it and grabbing onto his right hand.

“How’s your shoulder?” Richard asked, keeping his voice low.

“Huh?” Matt asked, looking away from the window. “Oh, uh...it’s fine.”

“You’re what? Almost 11 weeks post-op?” He put his hands back into his coat pockets, nodding at Matt’s left shoulder. “Not quite lifting much yet, are you?”

Matt shook his head. “No, not for another two weeks but,” he looked back towards the window, seeing Caroline holding onto Ethan’s hand as she rested her elbows onto his bed. “If getting him up the stairs faster means my recovery is pushed back another week or two...I don’t care. Me getting back to playing hockey was nowhere near as important as making sure that he was okay.”

“I’ll grab you some ibuprofen before I head back down to the E.R.” He nodded, looking at the window.

“Is something wrong?” Matt asked, looking back at Richard. “When you were talking with Dr. Gonzalez, I saw this look on your face that was...honestly it kind of freaked me out. You guys said everything was okay with him? Is it not?”

“No, no, everything’s fine,” Richard sighed, shaking his head. “It was just...really difficult to keep on my Doctor face. I guess I let my worried Grandpa feelings shine through for a moment there.” He turned to Matt, nodding at him. “But he’s going to be fine, good even. You acted fast and did everything right, down to a T.”

Matt let out a heavy sigh, turning towards the window. “Can you say that again?”

“Say what?”

“What you just said?” Matt looked back at Richard, not caring if he could see the whites of his eyes start to turn red or the tears building in them. “Because I spent the last forty minutes in a downward spiral replaying it over and over in my head. Digging myself into this...dark hole of just endless questions, you know?” He laughed dryly, running a hand through his lengthened curls. “Did I do this right? Would this have been better? What if I had gotten down there beforehand? What if driving was a bad idea and we could’ve gotten into a wreck? Did I use the EpiPen right? Should we have given him a second one? Did I–”

Richard placed his hands on Matt’s shoulders, ducking down slightly to his level and looking him right in the eyes. “You acted fast and did everything right, down to a T, Matthew.” He looked off to the window and pointed at Caroline and a sleeping Ethan before looking back at him. “He’s already better because of everything you did. Carrying him up the stairs, using his EpiPen, getting Brady to drive...all of those things, was the right thing to do. You couldn’t have done it any better and because of you.” He took a deep breath, exhaling shakily as he moved his hands up and cupping Matt’s face. “Because of you...he’s alive, he’s healthy and he’s going to be okay. You did everything right, Matthew. Everything.”

When Matt exhaled, he felt his entire body just relax as if it’d only been held up and together by one large breath he’d been holding. He took another deep breath, blowing it out just as fast as he felt the tears well up in his eyes. Richard pulled him closer and hugged him, patting his back as Matt rested his forehead on his shoulders, shutting his eyes tightly as he felt the tears spill over, lungs on fire from holding back the sobs of relief he didn’t want Caroline to hear. Another heavy exhale and a deep breath later, had Matt feeling lighter.

There were only two things that he wanted from the moment he and Caroline were left behind in that waiting room. The first, was for Ethan to be healthy and okay. The second was for someone to tell him that he didn’t screw up. That for his first real big-time parenting decision or action, he did it right. And the moment Dr. Gonzalez told them Ethan was going to be okay, Matt hadn’t felt any lighter, if anything, that big heavy feeling in his gut that was saying he did nothing right felt like it could sink him through the floor. But when Richard assured him that he did everything right, it was like he could feel the release of built-up stress within him.

Richard was like a Dad to him. And besides his own Father and his Grandfather’s, Richard was another one of those figures he found himself looking towards the moment he himself found out he was a Dad. So hearing Richard commend him for his actions, confirming that he did everything right and his instinct and research into how to take care of his own son in the event that this were to happen...it felt so damn good.

“You should go ahead and sit with her,” Richard said, pulling away and resting his hands on Matt’s shoulders again. “I know she’s going to need you.”

“Are you going home?” Matt asked, taking a deep breath as he wiped his face with his sweatshirt sleeves.

“I’m here till about 2 AM. I’ll make sure to stop by and check on you guys before I leave.” He said, returning his hands back inside of his coat pockets. “But let me go get the ibuprofen and then you can go.”

Matt nodded, standing in front of the window and crossing his arms, just watching as Caroline sat there. He couldn’t hear her, but he knew that she was probably sitting there and talking Ethan’s ear off. He could barely bring himself to even look at Ethan just lying there in the bed. He knew that he was asleep, he could see the light movement of his blanket. But every time he looked at his face, he kept seeing that moment when Ethan was staring up at him with wide eyes, his blue irises just full of fear. And it scared him. It scared him every time he thought about it.

“Here you go,” he turned to see Richard holding out two paper packets and a water bottle. “That should be good for whatever soreness you’ll feel.”

“Thank you.” Matt nodded, stuffing the ibuprofen packets into his pocket.

“You’re a good Dad, Matt,” Richard said, crossing his arms and nodding towards the window. “I’m actually surprised by how natural you are at it.”

“You and me both,” Matt laughed softly, picking at the water bottle wrapper with his fingers. “We’re going to tell him...Care and I. We’re telling Ethan soon and I– I think I’m scared.”

His eyebrows furrowed as he tilted his head to the side. “Of how he’ll react?”

Matt nodded. “That and just…” he looked back towards Caroline who was now resting her head on Ethan’s bedside. “Of how everything will work...you know? I mean, look at how he’s spent the last eight years. Both families are super involved in his day-to-day life. He’s got this holiday routine down with you guys and my family, he’s super happy and clearly loved...how are we supposed to navigate the whole split custody thing when all I can offer is three measly months out of an entire year?”

“I think you’re getting ahead of yourself there, Matthew.” Richard laughed softly, keeping his arms crossed. “Right now, the best thing I can tell you is to take it one day at a time. Don’t think too far into the future when it’s not even solid yet. Things change all the time and situations change all the time.”

“How is that helpful...like at all?” Matt huffed, furrowing his brows.

A beeping came from Richard’s pocket and he reached in to pull out a beeper. “I need to go, but just trust me, okay?” He asked, taking a last look into Ethan’s room. “One day at a time, you never know what could happen.”

Matt watched as Richard jogged down the hall and disappeared around the corner, leaving him alone in the hall. He took a deep breath and grabbed the packets in his pocket, tearing them both open and dropping four pills into his palm before tossing them into his mouth. He opened the water bottle and brought it to his lips, chugging a good amount of water before putting the lid back on it and walking into the room, closing the door behind him. He walked over to Caroline and held the bottle out. “Here, have the rest.”

“I’m not thirsty.” She mumbled, keeping her head down against the bed.

“Either you drink it or I get a nurse to come stick you with an IV so you don’t pass out from dehydration on me.” He shook the water bottle slightly, nodding at it as she sat up. “Take it.”

She sighed and grabbed the bottle from his hand, twisting off the cap and taking a small sip. “What time is it?”

Matt pulled out his phone, ignoring all of the notifications on it, and checked the time before shoving it back into his pocket. “11:30.”

“Did you want to watch the rest of the countdown?” She asked, reaching for the remote. “I know that was your favorite part growing up.”

“Yeah, whenever I could actually make it to midnight,” he laughed, walking around Ethan’s hospital bed and grabbing another chair, bringing it up beside him. “Then it was the New Years' kiss that became my favorite.”

She rolled her eyes, turning on the tv and finding the countdown, keeping it at a low volume as Kane Brown was performing. “You better not have kissed anyone else up there in Michigan while I was stuck getting attacked with sloppy cheek kisses from Andrew and Brady.”

“Please,” Matt laughed, shaking his head. “The only thing I was doing at midnight on New Year's Eve up there was calling you so I could blast kiss you thru the phone from my iPod touch.”

Her laughter faded as she drank the rest of the water, still holding onto Ethan’s hand. “If this is any sort of omen as to how 2024 is going to go, I think I would rather time to freeze forever.” She looked down at the water bottle, plucking at the water bottle as she sighed. “Is he gone?”

“Jonathan?” Matt asked, watching as she nodded her head. “Yeah, I told Brady to make sure he left.”

“God, I’m so,” she groaned, throwing the empty water bottle over into the corner of the room, hitting the leaves of a fake potted plant. “How could he be so stupid? How could I have let this happen?”

“Whoa, hell no,” Matt said, shaking his head. “Absolutely not, you’re not doing that. No way in hell are you blaming yourself for this.”

“But it is my fault, Matt,” she sighed, looking up at him with tears brimming in her eyes. “I should’ve checked first o-or I should’ve had Ethan bring me his drink. I should’ve done something.”

Matt got up out of his chair as she slumped her shoulders forward, letting go of Ethan’s hand so she could bury her face in her own. “You did nothing wrong, Care,” he said, squatting down and grabbing the legs of her chair, turning her towards him before resting his hands on her knees. “Ethan’s eight, he’s what he likes to call a ‘big kid’ now. You don’t need to check his drinks.”

“But I-I would’ve known,” she cried, letting her hands fall into her lap. “I-I would have tasted it or something. I should’ve made him bring it to me o-or had him tell me what he was going to drink.”

“You know what? Maybe you should have,” Matt said, earning a sad look from Caroline. “But you know what else should’ve happened? Jonathan should’ve read the nutrition label. If he would’ve done that, he would’ve known that there were peaches in that mix.”

“He’s such a fucking idiot,” she sobbed, laughing in disbelief. “A-And you’d think he’d be a little smarter since he’s wanting to work towards his Ph.D.”

Matt smiled at the slander of Jonathan, but just rubbed his thumbs against the inside of her knees as she calmed down. “You’re a great Mom, Care.” He could see her start to rebuttal but he shook his head. “And I’m not just saying that to make you feel better, I mean it. You’re attentive, you care about what he’s into, you encourage him to try new things even when he’s scared to. I love seeing the two of you together because I can just see the love you have for him pouring out of you and him for you. He’s happy, he’s healthy and he’s just...he’s great, Care.”

“You’re a damn great Mom, Caroline freaking Marsh.” He nudged her knees as she sniffled. “But you’re not perfect, no one is. And you can’t expect yourself to be perfect, just like I’m willing to bet my entire salary that Ethan knows that no one’s perfect and he knows people make mistakes. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. Somewhere down the line, everyone’s fucked up before.”

“Prove it.” She sniffled, wiping her nose. “Because I bet no one’s ever not made sure that their kid didn’t almost die because they didn’t do something as simple as checking their drink.”

“Six Flags St. Louis,” he said, looking at her. “We were seven and maybe three inches too short to ride Batman. But our Dads really wanted to go on it so they took us to the bathroom and shoved paper towels into our shoes to boost our height. We got on, got in our row where we sat in between them, and got buckled in. The moment the ride started and we hit that loop, they both had to hold an arm out in front of us because we were literally being lifted from our seats.”

“I remember that,” she nodded, wiping her face. “I cried when we got off and refused to ride it for–”

“Four years, yeah.” He laughed. “But look, our Dad’s are great and we both think they’re amazing parents, our Mom’s too. But even they made mistakes raising us. Parenting is literally making mistakes every now and then. But that’s a good thing sometimes because it shows Ethan that we’re not perfect and that it’s okay to make a mistake every now and then. You’ve just got to acknowledge it, pick yourself up, and learn from it. Besides...kids forgive super easily. You wouldn’t believe this one time, I knocked this four-year-old girl's sandpile over– I mean, it wasn’t like an award-winning sculpture or anything, but it was something. And she forgave me just like that.”

Caroline laughed, rolling her eyes before reaching out and shoving his good shoulder. “I wouldn’t say just like that.”

“What? You didn’t let me immediately come back over and help you make another one?” He smiled.

“I may have held a grudge...for all of two seconds.”

The soft cheers coming from the tv mounted on the wall behind them tore them away from their conversation. They both looked back to see the shiny disco ball slowly making its way down the drop, Ryan Seacrest and Jenny McCarthy’s voices echoing as they and everyone else in Times Square counted down the final minute to midnight.

“Come on,” Matt said, grabbing her hands and standing up, pulling her with him, and over to the tv.

“What are you doing?” She asked, laughing softly.

“You’re not ringing in the New Year, sitting down in a chair and groaning about what a bad Mom you are,” he twirled her playfully. “Because one, you’re not a bad Mom, and two,” he twirled her again, playfully dipping her and pretending like he was going to let her fall, laughing soon after. “And two, we’re not here right now.”

She stood back up, raising an eyebrow. “I’m sorry?”

“We are currently back in 2006, almost 2007. We’ve just given the best mock performance of Breaking Free to our families for the fifth time that night, after constantly begging them to let us stay up till midnight.” He spun her out as she laughed, looking at Ethan. “Don’t worry, he can be Brady since he passed out on the couch at 9 after our second performance.”

“God, that was so much fun. I think that’s the first time we ever made it to midnight.” She shook her head sighing as she spun herself back towards him, her back pressed to his chest as they both looked up at the TV, the final ten seconds ringing out.

“Do you remember what else happened?” Matt asked, looking at her.

“Ten…nine...eight...”

“If you’re talking about what happened at midnight, then yes I do,” she laughed, looking back at him with a smile. “I think I spent the entire rest of that night blushing.”

“I was just happy our parents were too preoccupied with each other to see it happened,” he laughed, shaking his head.

“Seven...six...five...”

The two of them stared at each other, reliving that small moment back when they were nine and living their best lives of staying up till midnight like they were ‘big kids.’ Though they could easily blame all of the soda they’d had drunk at Keith’s game earlier in the night. After their fifth performance and their parents' tired applause, the two ran off to the kitchen and snuck more cake that they’d been told an hour earlier not to eat any more of. And as not to raise suspicions, Matt had grabbed one slice and two forks before Caroline had ushered him beneath the kitchen table, letting the decorative cloth fall out of her hand to shield every bit of them but their shoes, from their parents. They ate their cake in silence and tried to eat as fast as they could so they didn’t get caught. And when they heard their parents cheer, they both peeked out from beneath the cloth to see their parents each wrapped up in the other's arms, sharing a kiss with their respective partner.

They both let the cloth drop back down so they wouldn’t get caught, their curiosity for the noise fulfilled as they each took another bite of cake. Matt was holding onto his fork, going for another bite before he paused and looked at Caroline, quickly leaning in and kissing her cheek, smearing chocolate cake and icing all over her face in the process. Caroline stared at him, swallowing the bit of cake she had in her mouth before leaning over and doing the same, smiling once she leaned back and saw the cake and frosting on his cheek. The two shared a shy smile before the cloth was pulled up and they were staring their Moms’ in the face, caught red-handed with the cake they weren’t supposed to have and pink tinted cheeks from the embarrassment.

“Four...three...two...one...Happy New Year!”

Caroline stood up on her tippy toes and leaned her head more to the side, pressing a soft kiss against the scruff of his cheek. “Happy New Year, Matty.”

He smiled, kissing her temple before resting his chin on top of her head, hugging her against his chest, and reveling in how she had her hands wrapped around his forearms. “Happy New Year, Care.”

They watched as the cameras panned over the crowds of happy, cheering people, fireworks going off one after the other in the background as that long-familiar wave of relief that often comes with the beginning of the new year washed over them. Most years since he made it to the NHL, it was really rare for him to not be playing on New Year's Eve. If they were on a road series, he’d be on a plane heading for their next destination. If it was a homestand, the team would all group up post-game at a place that could host the players and their significant others and they’d spend those few hours before midnight that always rushed by too fast for any of them to really enjoy the moment before they were driving back to their own places to go to bed and prepare for the next game or practice.

But tonight, tonight was the first time in years that Matt had actually been able to enjoy the holiday. Where he spent most of his day and night talking and laughing with his family and family friends– reliving embarrassing childhood memories or basking in the glory days. He was surrounded by those he cared about most and he couldn’t remember the last time that he’d felt so full of life– whole even. He missed that family feeling and couldn’t help but think about if this is what his teammates who had their families had been talking about all the time– the little moments of just being surrounded by the people you loved and cared about the most in the rush of the NHL lifestyle – and just how long he’d been missing out on it.

And how he didn’t want to miss out anymore.

Caroline’s loud yawn tore him out of his thoughts as he laughed and leaned over slightly, looking at her. “You should probably lay down on the cot and get some sleep. I’ll watch Ethan and wake you up if anything happens.”

He could tell that she wanted to say no, but the exhaustion of the night's events had clearly taken its toll on her physically, mentally, and emotionally. “Okay.”

He brought his hands up to her shoulders and rubbed them before turning them around and nudging her towards the cot. “Go ahead, I’ve gotta use the bathroom really quick.”

She nodded again and walked over to the cot as Matt turned back around and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. Richard had said that Ethan would probably be out the rest of the night, so Matt had no problem sitting there and making conversation for the rounds the Nurse said she would do every so often. If he got bored, he could just watch tv or even check his phone. Once he finished up in the bathroom, he washed and dried his hands before walking out to see Caroline sitting on the edge of the cot, staring at Ethan with that same sad look on her face.

“What? What is it?” He asked, walking over to her and looking between her and Ethan. “Did something happen?”

“No, no, he’s still asleep.” She replied, clasping her hands together as she nervously played with her fingers and looked down. “It’s still my fault that this happened.” She sighed and looked up at him, nodding towards Ethan. “The last time that he had a reaction was when we found out he was allergic.”

“You never told me what happened,” Matt said, sitting down beside her. “You just said, ‘hey, heads up! He’s super allergic to peaches’ and that was it.”

“Because I don’t like thinking about it,” she whispered, looking back down at her hands. “I blame myself for that happening too.”

“What happened?”

“It was the spring of my sophomore year and I had these pretty big exams coming up,” she said, looking at him. “I was already stressed and he was going through that whole terrible twos phase. Through that entire week, he was just constantly escaping his little playpen, throwing a tantrum over his snacks, even if they were his favorite, and would just scream and cry if he couldn’t find a toy, but got even more upset if I was the one that found it. I just wanted one weekend, one full day even...to just, focus on studying with no interruptions. So, even though it was my Dad’s first day off in a while...he offered to watch Ethan for the day.”

She rubbed her hands down her jeans, taking a deep breath and sighing as she looked at Ethan. “Mom had just bought a bunch of fruit and chopped some of them up, so Dad grabbed some peach chunks and put them in a bowl for Ethan since he’d had them before and it was something simple to snack on while he made himself coffee. The next thing he knew, Ethan was wheezing, covered in hives and his nose was running like crazy. Dad got him to the hospital in time...but I guess there was a moment where his blood pressure got really low and he almost stopped breathing.”

She brought her hands back towards her and wrapped them around her torso, shaking her head. “I remember getting that call and then after that, it was like everything went blank. And I just...feel so guilty because, before that, I had felt relaxed in the silence because I could finally get some studying done.” Her chin tucked down towards her chest as she sniffled. “It wouldn’t have happened if I had just kept him with me.”

“You don’t know that, Care,” he whispered, turning towards her. “He could’ve had the same reaction one day with you. But luckily, he was with your Dad who recognized what was happening immediately and got him taken care of.” He turned her towards him, looking her in the eyes. “You have to stop blaming yourself for things that are out of your control. I’ve been telling you that since we were 13...listen to me for once, okay?”

“I know, I know,” she nodded, looking towards Ethan as the tears spilled down her cheeks. “He’s just the one thing that I haven’t managed to totally screw up yet.”

“Come on, Care,” Matt laughed, shaking his head. “You haven’t screwed things up.”

“I did with you,” she spoke softly, looking at him before looking back at Ethan. “With both of you.”

Matt didn’t know what to say or think. Was she talking about their relationship and how she made the decision to end it all of those years ago? Or was she talking about her decision to keep Ethan and him from each other for the same amount of time? He was so desperate in hoping that it was the first option– that this was his way of being able to scope out if things between them would ever be able to go back to how they were. But this wasn’t the right time and moment to figure that out.

“We’re fine, Care, I promise,” he replied, scooting back on the cot and shifting his legs out towards the end of it as he rolled onto his side, kicking his shoes off of his feet and onto the floor. “Now come on, lay down and go to sleep. I’ll watch out for him.”

With no hesitation, she took off her shoes and laid out onto her side instantly curling up and keeping her back to Matt as she no doubt kept her gaze on a sleeping Ethan. Matt reached down towards the end of the cot and grabbed the crumbled-up blanket since they were laying on the one that was already spread out over the cot. He draped it over her before rolling over onto his back and staring up at the ceiling. He felt her move beside him before he saw a flash of the blanket being thrown over him and when he looked towards her she was already looking over her shoulder.

“It’s cold and I can hear you trying not to let your teeth chatter.”

He rolled his eyes, tugging the blanket the rest of the way over him scooting towards her slightly so he didn’t take too much away from her. If he rolled onto his back again, the part of the right side of his body would be sticking out of the blanket. But if he stayed rolled onto his left side– which thankfully he was more comfortable lying on again– he stayed completely covered and didn’t take any more blanket from her than he needed to. So, he stayed on his side and let his gaze drift around the room before settling back on the back of Caroline’s head. He knew she wasn’t asleep quite yet. Her breathing hadn’t completely slowed and he could still hear the faint sniffles coming from her that she was trying to hide.

“Hey Care?” He whispered, waiting almost impatiently for an answer.

Another small sniffle. “Yeah?”

“Is it okay if I hold you?” It was crossing a boundary, he knew that. She was engaged to another guy and in no way was their relationship similar to the one they had back when they were teenagers. But still, just like he would feel all those years ago, he felt an overwhelming need to just hold her in his arms whenever she was upset.

“Please.” She whispered, nodding her head.

He scooted the rest of the way over, her back pressed against his chest before he draped an arm over her waist to hold her. No sooner than his arm had relaxed against her, he felt her rest her hand on top of his and hold it. And just like all of those times before, the moment that the two of them were embraced...Caroline had fallen asleep shortly after, her once tensed features were now soft and relaxed having only a hint of red on her nose and cheeks from her tears.

He reached up with his left hand, brushing the hair away from her face and tucking it behind her ear as he leaned forward and kissed her temple again, stopping at her ear. “Goodnight, Care.” He draped his arm on the pillow she was using, resting it just above her head as he relaxed his own head down onto the other pillow. He was sure she was asleep and even with as hard as he tried to stay awake, his eyelids felt just as heavy from the exhaustion of the night. But before he completely fell asleep, he felt her give his hand a gentle squeeze before intertwining her fingers with his...and then he was out.

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