#it encouraged me to accept criticism but also stand by my own

[irlplasticlamb]

Did you go to art uni? What were the most important things you learned?

i did yes :) i think the most important thing i learned is to experiment and to put at least a little bit of meaning behind every element of your art piece — that’s why i got so into animal motifs and flower language, i think they’re such a lovely way to present stuff! but honestly my course was very lenient, it was mostly about you doing you and tutors giving you advice where necessary!

#vic.txt #vic answers #i LOVED uni because i got to spend time amongst other creatives #it was so amazing to sit in the studio drink your monster ultra and work on your art #i genuinely miss it #i ofc don’t miss the stress but the experience itself was incredible #i wish i found a studio like this — just a bunch of people doing art supporting each other and making silly jokes #but alas. i’m very very socially anxious so it’s hard for me to go places on my own and meet people hahah #but yeah i loved uni i had great coursemates and my tutors were some of the most talented encouraging people ever #there was this one tutor i used to argue with a lot but it was always in a good faith and it build some confidence in me when it came to #explaining my work #it encouraged me to accept criticism but also stand by my own

[lord-sharl-perceval]

Champagne Problems

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader Summary: In which Charles comforts a crying girl on a cold London night. Warnings: Mentions of death (made up friends & made up brother), angst, fluff, use of google translator for french curse word, overly romanticized for entertainment purposes. Notes: Also english is not my first language, so criticism is always welcome, but please be kind xx Word Count: 2.7K

Masterlist

Part Two: The Deal

Part Three: Karma Is My Boyfriend

Part One: The Sweet Stranger

»your mom's ring in your pocket, my picture in your wallet, your heart was glass, I dropped it. Champagne problems«

"Excuse me?"

You winced noticeably before you turned your head into the direction wherefrom the voice had spoken to you. Just a few meters away a young man dressed in a suit was standing there.

"Are you alright?" He asked with a worried expression on his face. Taken by surprise you nodded, assuring the stranger you were fine. However he furrowed his brows dubiously, not believing you.

"Are you sure? You're crying" he noted with a french accent, fishing a tissue out of the inside of his jacket and handed it to you carefully.

"Thank you" you mumbled, accepting the tissue, using it to wipe away the tears from your cheeks.

"Do you need to call someone?"

"No, thank you" you replied and turned your gaze towards the distance.

"Alright" he breathed, abutting on the blue railing of the Bridge.

"But I'm definitely not leaving you on your own"

"Pardon?" Perplexed you faced the young man, who just looked at you with raised brows.

"What?" He took a step aside.

"There you go, safety gap"

Still startled you simply stared at him, confused by what the man was doing. All you wanted was time to yourself to process the horrendous evening you had just experienced.

"Why?"

Anxiety started to pile up, of course you couldn't spend some time by yourself on the Tower Bridge at night without encountering strange men that wouldn't leave you be. Frowning the brown haired man scanned you from head to toe.

"Well, you're by yourself in the middle of the night standing on a bridge, crying, your heels are off. It's chilly and you're wearing a spaghetti strap dress without a jacket"

You gasped for air.

"Wait-, no-" you shook your head frantically but then looked down on yourself and quickly realized where he was coming from.

"Fair enough" you snorted, running your fingers through your thick hair in frustration.

"I do not want to commit suicide if that's what you thought" you responded horrified, although you couldn't help to feel relieved at the same time. The man apparently wouldn't go, because he sincerely wanted to make sure, you were fine instead of intending to harass you.

"I'm relieved" he breathed out.

"But still you seem to be upset about something. Do you want to talk about it? It can help to pour your heart out to a stranger" he offered and smiled softly.

"Don't you have somewhere else to be?" You retorted, wrapping your arms around yourself in attempt to warm your cold body. Melodic laughter escaped his lips.

"Coud say the same thing about you or do you always take strolls in dresses and higheels?"

The corners of your mouth twitched hardly noticeable at his words.

"I think, I've already embarrassed myself enough"

"This is your opportunity to embarrass yourself even more" the stranger responded sounding oddly encouraging.

Baffled you eyed the man, for the first time noticing how handsome he was. You couldn't clearly see his eye color due to the faint lighting of the bridge, but you already knew his eyes were your favorite feature of his face.

"I'm a stranger to you and you are a stranger to me. We both couldn't care less, if we made fouls out of ourselves" the brunette, young man reasoned.

"You frenchman are strange" you shivered, feeling your hands ache in the cold wind as you rubbed your arms.

"Thank goodness, I am not french then" he said, his smile broadening until the dimples appeared. After you flashed him a puzzled look, he started to snicker.

"I am from Monaco" he clarified.

"And that doesn't make you french?"

"We prefer being called monegasque" the brown haired man explained.

"Sorry" you shuddered.

"I didn't mean to be disrespectful"

The man shook his head.

"Don't worry about it" he assured you, observing shortly after that you were strongly trembling in consequence of your light clothing.

"You're freezing" the monegasque remarked and took off his jacket.

"May I step closer?"

You wanted to decline his unspoken offer, but instead you nodded, getting a whiff of the pleasant scent of his perfume as he came closer and put his black jacket around you.

"Very kind of you" you mumbled, shyly smiling at him.

"I'm y/n by the way" you introduced yourself, while extending your hand to greet him.

"Charles" the monegasque answered, shaking your ice cold hand.

"Sharl" you repeated the french and, in your opinion, more fancy version of the name Charles.

"So tell me y/n, what brings you here in the middle of the night?" Charles asked, after you both turned towards the River that reflected the lights of the city.

"I ran away"

Tears welled up in your eyes, as soon as you thought back on the unpleasant event that had happened earlier this evening.

"After my boyfriend proposed to me" you proceeded, while pulling the jacket closer.

Charles carefully watched your expression, you looked devastated and guilty. Tears ran over your cheeks again, staining your face with mascara. He could see how sorry you were, how much abandoning your boyfriend was nagging on your conscience. The pained expression on your face made it somehow easy for him to empathize with you, even though your boyfriend was the one deserving the empathy.

"And it wasn't even that we never talked about marriage, of course we did and I was convinced I wanted this, but I guess, I didn't know the real answer until he went down on one knee. Ironic, huh?"

You faced him, finally catching a better sight of his pretty eyes, nevertheless you couldn't put your finger on the exact color of them. Maybe they were green, maybe hazel, they could have been ocean blue as well.

"You must think, I'm a cruel person" you snuffled, using the tissue to stop the tears.

But Charles shook his head.

"I'm not one to judge" he assured, handing you another tissue.

"But if you talked about it, what made you run away?"

You inhaled deeply, crossing your arms in front of your chest, after you wiped your nose.

"I believe, that love isn't for everybody" you turned your head away from him, gazing into the distance.

"For a long time I thought, I was one of those people. That was until I met Will, my boyfriend. He was very patient with me, never gave up on me and made me slowly like the idea of marriage and starting a family"

With a deep sigh you then continued.

"But seeing him get down on one knee made me question our whole relationship, it made me realize that I never wanted this" your voice broke and once again tears were brought to your eyes.

"And hearing him say these words felt like hands around my neck, they suffocated me" you bit your lip.

"So I ran"

You paused and he couldn't find the right words to say.

"I understand" Charles then responded compassionately, taking a closer look at your beautiful but sad face. Your jawline was clenched, your cheeks rosy, the big eyes glassy.

Even while crying she was gorgeous Charles thought. You both kept silent. Charles thought of ways to make you feel better and you choked on your sobs, desperately trying to calm down.

"Let's walk a bit, we don't want people to think we're planning on jumping off of the bridge, do we?" Charles suggested after a short period in attempt to make you smile. And he succeeded as he managed to bring a smile to your face.

"I can't walk through the city looking like a Panda though" you sighed followed by silly laughter. Charles watched your face light up and as he did so, he couldn't detain chuckling as well.

"May I help?" He asked politely, whereat you had to smile brightly.

"Yes, you may" you giggled.

"What?"

"Is every monegasque guy as polite as you are?"

"Most of them are" he replied, carefully wiping away the mascara stains off your face with a tissue. Meanwhile the monegasque cleaned your face highly focused, you were able to take a closer look at his beautiful eyes, finally registering his eyecolor. They were hazel with blue flecks, by far the prettiest pair of eyes you had ever seen.

"There you go, no more panda eyes" Charles grinned confidently.

"Merci"

"De rien"

For a moment you both tensley stared into each others eyes, forgetting your surroundings and circumstances for a split second up until reality crashed in on you, brought you both back to here and now. Charles cleared his throat and nodded towards the way back to the city.

"Let's go"

Quickly you slipped in to your uncomfortable higheels and walked awkwardly next to the taller brunette.

"Why would you believe that love isn't for everyone?" Charles questioned to start another conversation.

"Because I've seen it" you smiled sadly.

"My parents were never happily in love, my mother spent all their marriage cheating on him with different men until my dad's had enough and divorced her"

Charles' curious expression swiftly saddened as he heard your parents story and started to understand why you were so troubled with love.

"I'm sorry to hear"

"And yes, it's my parents business, but while my father was clueless about my mother's infidelity, I knew all along, since I was 13"

"That must have been horrible. Didn't you ever tell him?"

You bowed your head in shame and shook your head.

"No, my Dad and I never had the closest relationship and it's not that I've admitted it to myself back then, I've supressed it for years" you explained, burying your hands in the pockets of the jacket.

"When you love someone, the least thing you want to do, is hurt them. My parents hurt each other pretty badly, all the time. They are incapable of love"

Charles remained silent, he wasn't convinced of your statement, but unlike your parents his parents had had a loving relationship. They had set the perfect example for him and his brothers, they taught them what it meant to love and to be loved.

"I can already hear them talking behind my back: she would've made such a lovely bride, what a shame, she's fucked in the head" you changed the topic and laughed scornfully. The monegasque shook his head, loosening the tie around his neck.

"It's okay to choose not to get married" he told you, shooting you a reassuring look.

"Although running away wasn't the ideal way to decline his marriage proposal" he joked, trying to lighten up the mood.

"Tell me, you were alone with him"

You couldn't help but to smirk at Charles' comment. You knew, it wasn't funny, that you had to take full responsibilities of your actions once you got back, but right now you just wanted to allow yourself for only a few minutes to laugh about it in order to relieve the stress that had built up.

"I wasn't" you confessed guiltily.

"He proposed to me on my party"

"bordel de merde!" Charles cursed in his native tongue in disbelief and bursted into laughter.

"I changed my mind, you are a cruel person" he bantered as though he had known you for years already. You didn't counter, you just laughed with him. Charles meant it as a joke, but you understood that leaving your boyfriend behind with all the guests made you indeed a cruel person.

"Now to you: what were you doing on the bridge?" You asked full of curiosity.

"I needed some fresh air, I've had a rough evening" he grinned, even though there was a glint of misery in his eyes.

"What happened?"

"My family and I hosted a charity event on behalf of my deceased brother and my best friend" Charles responded, slipping his cold hands into his pockets.

"I'm sorry, did they pass recently?"

"No, my best friend passed away 5 years ago and my brother 7 years ago" suddenly his voice sounded evenly.

"Does it ever get better?" You asked cautiously to which he just sighed.

"No" his lips formed to a small, but sorrowful smile again.

"Some days are just less tough than others" Charles ran his long, slender fingers through his brown, untamed hair, releasing another, deeper sigh.

"In 2019 I also lost another friend and ever since that this crippling anxiety has been haunting me, the fear that I might lose another person that I love. I wouldn't survive that" he loosened his tie another time and also opened the first two buttons of his shirt as though he felt smothered by them.

"I spent hours and hours contemplating if I ever wanted to start a family one day and the answer was always the same: no, because to start a family meant more to lose" Charles added, meanwhile tears had welled up and gleamed in his eyes. You didn't notice that a teardrop fell from your eye and rolled over your cheek. You were moved by his words. What Charles had been through was unimaginable.

"I'm honestly so sorry, Charles. I've been whining all night about my problems, that definitely seem like champagne problems compared to yours and-"

"Y/n! It's fine!" Charles interrupted and laid his hand on your shoulder to calm you down.

"I approached you, remember? I was worried and I wanted to make you feel better and guess what? You made me feel better"

Perplexed you looked into his handsome face, recurringly getting lost in those hazel eyes of his.

"Sorry" you whispered and felt blood rushing to your face, tinging your already read cheeks crimson.

"You've apologized enough for today, don't you think?" He said with a crooked smile on his face, hardly any trace of grief left.

"You're right" you agreed with the monegasque.

The rest of the night you two strangers spent talking about everything and anything. You gave Charles a little London tour, showing him the true gems of your hometown, at least that what could be seen at nearly 12 A.M. Like silly children, you had been fooling around, both forgetting what an awful evening you both had had. When it was slowly time to part ways, Charles kindly accompanied you to the next taxi rank.

For a few meters you and the monegasque walked silently next to each other through the illuminated city of London. Both lost in thought, enjoying each others company without the deafening silence that would have came alongside awkwardness.

"I think, I just proved, that I'm no better than my parents. I've hurt the person that I love the most. I'm incapable of love just like them" you muttered as the realization came to you.

"I don't believe that" Charles disagreed.

"Love is not just a strong feeling, it's a choice and sometimes people stop choosing and that is fine"

You didn't respond, the heavy weight of your heart made itself noticeable, causing a feeling of paralysis.

"Do you wish, you had accepted?"

"No" you whispered.

"Then you're already more self-reflected than your parents" Charles contended.

"Is he a good man?"

"The best" you responded without hesitation.

"Then be honest with him, you owe him that"

You nodded nervously, already scared of the utterly unpleasant, but necessary conversation with your boyfriend.

"Thank you, Charles"

"You're welcome, y/n"

Finally a taxi was in sight, that you quickly hailed with a hand gesture.

"Give me your phone" you quickly demanded.

Confused the monegasque handed you his phone, after unlocking it for you. As fast as you could, you typed down your phone number and gave it back to its owner.

"For when you need to completely embarrass yourself" you smirked at Charles, before you took off his jacket and returned it to him as well.

"Thanks" Charles laughed and opened the door for you.

"Goodbye, Charles Leclerc"

Caught off guard he widened his eyes and held the door open after you got into the car.

"You know my full name, it's only fair to know yours as well"

"Y/n y/l/n" you answered right before you closed the door and the taxi took off.

To be continued...

#Charles Leclerc #Charles Leclerc One Shot #Charles Leclerc fluff #Charles Leclerc Imagine #Charles Leclerc x Reader #F1 One Shot #F1 Imagine #Charles Leclerc Champagne Problems #Charles Leclerc Taylor Swift

[renoed]

so smitten | manager! s. kaiba x idol! reader

❥ — PAIRING manager! seto kaiba x gn! idol! reader

❥ — SUMMARY It was noticeable from the moment he was assigned to you as your manager. The way your eyes lingered on him.

# A/N a request!!! eek!! I loved writing this! Seto is just ♡♡♡ love of my LIFE

Seto Kaiba stood at the head of a long glass table, hands tucked away in the pockets of his black trousers. He was the first thing you noticed when you were ushered into the room - the only member of staff you didn't recognise. The fact he stood taller than everyone else made him difficult to miss.

You'd been sat down at the opposite end of the table and one of the senior staff members had began rambling about how your manager was moving on to a rival company. It wasn't new information; she had actually come to you before she accepted the position and you'd encouraged her to make the jump.

"We hope that you'll be able to get along with Kaiba as well as you did with Kujaku!"

The tall brunet bowed down politely to you, "I'll do my best."

As he straightened himself up again, you noticed that his rectangular glasses had slipped down his nose. A long, slender finger pushed them back up to frame deep, blue eyes. Attractive was an understatement.

You let your lips curve up, crossing one of your legs over the other, "I'm looking forward to seeing what you can do."

He didn't falter at your words, or the suggestive hum you put behind them.

It didn't take long for Seto to prove that he was a phenomenal manager - better than Mai had been, as much as you hated to admit it.

Your schedule was consistently filled, while also providing you with consistent breaks. From follower increases to sales increases, Seto seemed to know exactly how to achieve anything.

"Fuck!"

That's why it came as such a surprise for you to hear him shout from your place stood outside his door, a paper bag of doughnuts tucked under your arm and two hot drinks in your hands.

"Seto? Is everything okay?" you were lucky nobody else was in his office, dropping formalities always got you scolded. You couldn't remember when you had gotten so casual with him.

Walking into his office you were met with an unfamiliar sight: tousled hair, an untucked shirt, glasses lazily left on his desk. The room, and Seto himself, looked like a tip.

"No, this could permanently damage your career. It's the furthest thing from okay that we could possibly manage."

"Slow down a second," you placed your things down on his desk before moving to stand next to him, "what's actually happened?"

A brief moment of silence settled between you before he opens his mouth again, "dating scandal."

Oh.

You didn't think before you'd asked, "between me and who?"

He tilted his phone so he could show you the screen, free hand moving to massage his temples, unwilling to look towards you.

Oh.

Any words of encouragement dropped away at the realisation that it was a photo of you and him on the screen. He's holding an umbrella over the pair of you and you're laughing at something, smile hidden behind your hand. If you squint you can see the hint of a smile on his own lips.

You remembered when that was taken: Seto had been particularly nit-picky with your performances and was telling you all his 'constructive criticism' without a single positive comment. Normally you wouldn't have batted an eye - that's just how he is - but it had really upset you and, in a rage, you decided you'd walk yourself home in the pouring rain because you couldn't bear to be in a car with him.

The pattering of rain on the pavement had completely drowned out any other sound around you, except when a car drove past and narrowly avoided getting you absolutely drenched. You weren't very far off anyway.

"You're being childish."

Seto's voice was barely audible above the rain but it was loud enough to make you stop in your tracks and wait for him. The tap of his business shoes against the pavement was unheard as he walked over to you, only stopping a couple of paces behind. In his left hand was an umbrella.

"You'll catch a cold-"

"I don't think it's childish to be upset when all you ever give me is negative feedback," came your mumbled reply, "is that all you see in me? The worst parts of my performance?"

You waited for him to make a snide retort; something about you being sensitive or unfit for being an idol. It didn't come.

Instead, the umbrella he had been holding above himself was outstretched to you. It was difficult not to break into a small smile at the action: Seto Kaiba was useless with pretty words but he knew how to make his actions count.

"I'm sorry," the words were stiff and he bowed slightly, still holding the umbrella above you as rain trickled down his hair, dropping onto his glasses and falling from the tip of his nose.

"You'll catch a cold."

Anybody else would have missed the way his eyes widened as you gently pushed on the umbrella, stepping towards him until you were both covered from the rain.

"Well, that should be easy to manage, right? Just put out a statement about how I'm being escorted by a member of my staff?" this wasn't the first time something like this had happened, a collaboration with solo-artist ATEM had created rumours immediately. You weren't sure what made this situation any different.

Seto didn't spare you a glance, just shoved his phone into your grasp and buried his face further into his hands.

The original photo had been captioned 'Them ♡: a 🧵' and beneath it were countless photos of you and Seto.

Standing together at a shoot in the winter, your hands in fluffy mittens wrapped around his. Red dusted his cheeks and at the time you had just brushed it off as the cold.

Talking together at an event, both dressed to the nines with amicable smiles on your lips.

It went on and on and on: him handing you coffee; you poking fun at him; eating at a restaurant together (although other staff members were there).

It was when you reached the last post - a short video with a screenshot next to it, captioned 'so smitten', that you began to understand.

Taken from fairly early into his role as manager, you're both stood with some other staff. They're talking to the small group about something and you glance away from the speaker to look at Seto. He does the exact same.

This moment of you catching his gaze is what has been screenshot. It's an unspoken softness that makes your stomach twist and throat tighten.

"I'm sorry," his voice was barely a murmur, eyes unwilling to meet yours, "I'm not sure how to fix this."

You had never seen him look weak before. Now he was sitting next to you, hunched over with a creased shirt, tie hanging loose and hair standing up in every direction. It felt ironic that the sight made your heart catch in your throat. You put the phone down on his desk.

"Maybe I don't want to fix it."

The words were unsure and shaky as they left your lips, but they were loud enough for Seto to hear.

"That's ridiculous- did you not hear me say this could permanently damage your career? This isn't just a joke for us to laugh at in a few months-"

Before he has chance to continue his rant, your hands grasp at the collar of his shirt and pull him towards you, lips clashing together messily. He stiffens for a second before kissing you back, only to pull away a few moments later.

"Let me be childish this time: I don't want to fix it."

The damage was done already; the rumours had already started. There was little you could do except entirely remove Seto from your staff, which was a none-option for you anyway.

You lightly tug on his collar again, "are you okay with that?"

His hands gently move to clasp your wrists, pulling you into him wordlessly until your lips meet again. More than okay, is what you settled on as his answer.

reblogs are hugely appreciated ♡ [masterlist]

#renoed #renoed; yugioh #yugioh #seto kaiba x reader #seto x reader #yugioh seto kaiba #yugioh seto #seto kaiba #x reader #reader insert #kaiba yugioh #yugioh kaiba #kaiba #seto kaiba yugioh

[aleprouswitch]

Re: your latest post: genuinely curious about your thoughts on how certain industrial/experimental acts address fascism in their art. I think a lot about JG Thirlwell, for example, and the way he invoked certain fascist imagery to make a satirical point or to amplify an atmospheric sense of terror and strife. Not saying that I support every artistic decision he’s made in that regard, but one criticism I often hear of his work is that his use of fascist imagery, regardless of context or purpose, is fascist itself, and it puzzles me. Do you think there are ways to incorporate historical themes of totalitarianism, mass suffering and loss of human rights in ways that would convey irony in a more..for lack of a better word.. dignifying manner?

(Absolutely no pressure to answer this btw. Was just interested n I’m a big fan of the work you do in the experimental community!)

I wanted to take the time to think about this question for a bit before answering it, as it's a really good one.

Art can be difficult to interpret at times unless you know the full context as intended by the artist. Some artists tend to be vague about the meanings of their work, which makes interpretation even more difficult. However, with some artists, it's pretty easy to tell where they stand on certain issues and if their use of provocative or controversial imagery is meant in either a satirical fashion or being used to make people pay attention to important issues.

You make an example out of J.G. Thirlwell and his various projects, and I'm about 99% sure there's not a fascist bone in that man's body. His work is incredibly nihilistic in tone most of the time, but there's also an absurdist streak to it in places. Any allusions to fascism are probably meant to add to that air of absurdism. I kind of see this as being the case with groups like Laibach as well; using allusions to totalitarian governments in the name of absurdism and satire.

Then of course, there are some groups out there who use themes of fascism to talk about what's happened in their countries and trying to make sense of it all; this is especially common with German groups. Haus Arafna have done this in the past, trying to use music and art a a means of navigating German identity while grappling with atrocities committed by those in the past. Rammstein have also done this, especially with "Deutschland" and its accompanying music video.

Of course, then there are the artists who use fascist themes in their music and art because unfortunately, they're sympathizers or subscribe to the ideologies behind it. Boyd Rice is particularly disgusting for this reason, as is Douglas Pearce (Death in June fans don't @ me; I don't care if he's gay or if the music slaps; he's a fascist). That's partly why I used that image of them together with Rose McDowall in matching outfits to convey that real, actual support of fascism is not artistically acceptable.

My personal opinion is that the "right" and "wrong" way to convey messages of antifascism is subjective and can be expressed in wildly different ways depending on the artist. Once again, I encourage listeners to do their own research on artists and read up on what their work is supposed to be based around and to abstain from making any flippant judgments. You could miss out on some very powerful work if you refuse to read between the lines.

#noise #industrial #music #opinions #asks

[chaifootsteps]

about the cartoon Viv made separating types of criticism - I think it's a fair point that the tone of a critique can make a difference in how an artist receives it & it's totally fair to point out that giving someone rude feedback makes it a much more bitter pill to swallow. anyone who's had passive aggressive to outright aggressive responses on fanwork or fanart can tell how it can ruin your day.

but what's not fair is framing all criticism like that. And I think Viv definitely has a habit of grouping all criticism into the bad faith category, even if the poster is going out of their way to try and be fair or polite. When you're a big creator it's easy for that happen because you get overwhelmed by the volume of feedback, but I think when it does and a creator just ends up getting hostile to all criticisms then that's when it's time to step back.

Viv talks about how if she responds or doesn't, she'll be critized and can't win. but I think she has at least some responsibility for creating the expectation that she might respond if people tweet at her because she can't seem to stop herself from engaging.

the Hellaverse fandom is super parasocial and she's made it actively worse by liking tweets that defend her writing or paint her detractors as engaging in bad faith (not to mention she admitted to not watching Diregentlemen's video on her and kind of implied she was vaguing about them that one time, when if she'd bothered to watch their video instead of just seeing them tweet about the show or the vids they'd made she'd know they went out of their way to say they wanted to like the show and they had praised it in the past).

People get the impression she's defensive and can't take criticism because she's responded that way consistently - she won't log off and be a creator who holds the fanbase at more of a distance, as some other creators do, but she also won't accept any criticism at all and encourages her fans to do the work of filling in the show's gaps for her, then likes tweets attacking people who criticize her or calling them names. To me the reality of how she 'can't win' comes down to her behavior - she doesn't have the type of personality who can stand any critique, so she should disengage, but she's also too addicted to trying to control the narrative that she won't do the one thing that might help. And she seemingly won't hire someone to do PR on her behalf, either

how does she expect anyone viewing this from the outside of her diehard stans to think of her? it is unprofessional and she does come across as unable to take criticism and that's even before adding in the allegations that she trash-talks other creators and is so thin-skinned she wants her animators to work solely on her shows. and I suspect her approach hasn't changed much given she's said herself she had that reputation for a long time

Well said.

Let's face it, nobody likes criticism. Nobody likes when your work is the subject of takes you believe are completely asinine, but most people hoping to make a career of it learn pretty early on not to google their own names. Nothing good comes of it.

Viv likes to present herself as the world's saddest victim of the cruelest, dumbest criticism ever spoken, that she loves "helpful" criticism, but she's shown time and time again that it's all the same to her. She's cut people like Ken and Kyra out of her life altogether for criticizing her in the gentlest way possible; her world's continued to spiral because she just couldn't let "My name is Caine, I am your bitch" go. And just like you said, she has absolutely zero problem dishing it.

She's a shallow bully with a wet tissue paper ego. And people are starting to wake up to that fast.

#Anonymous #vivziepop critical #viv stuff #actual blog post

[andreafmn]

Collision - Chapter 11

Word Count: 4.7K

Story Description: (Y/N) Uley is back home after being away for four years. Her life is at its first standstill and she is taking this time to find out who she is without school. But she never thought that coming back to the reservation would turn her whole life around. In the midst of secrets and mystery, a man crashes into (Y/N)’s and her life will never be the same.

Chapter: 11/?

Warnings: 18+ parts (minors DNI), SMUT

A/N: Had to work around the human-vampire relation pregnancy 😅 but hope you enjoyed this kinda steamy chapter between (Y/N) and Carlisle, it's a tiny buffer before the inevitable heartbreak that will come😬

If you enjoy my writing I’ll also be posting them in AO3 and Wattpad along with other stories. You can request at any time any story or one-shot you desire. Hope you enjoy, and all constructive criticism is encouraged.

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Chapter 11

“Where are you going so dressed up?” Allison mused as her daughter descended from the stairs.

“It’s for Bella Swan’s birthday,” (Y/N) laughed. “It’s at the Cullen residence. Alice, one of the Cullen kids, arranged a surprise party for her 18th birthday. Do I look good?”

“You look stunning, honey,” her mother smiled. The Uley matriarch couldn’t believe how grown up her daughter looked. Just yesterday she had been a little girl playing with a doctor kit, and now she was on her way to possibly become a real doctor. It also pained her that she was not as close to her as she wanted to be. She knew close to nothing about her oldest son, and her daughter was falling on the same track. “You’ve been getting awfully close to those Cullens, haven’t you?”

“Well, I did spend a whole week with them.”

“Oh, I know,” Allison grinned. “It’s just these days you seem to spend more time with Dr. Cullen than here.”

“Mom, what does Dr. Cullen have to do with this?”

“Just an observation, sweetheart,” the woman dismissed jokingly. “Be careful, alright? And have fun.”

“Thanks, mom,” (Y/N) smiled. “I’m probably gonna be late, so don’t wait up. Love you!”

“I love you too, honey!” she called out.

(Y/N) didn’t know she had been holding her breath until she reached her car. Her mother questioning her relationship with the Cullen family, most importantly Carlisle, had her nerves on edge. She was unsure why she was still keeping her relationship with Carlisle a secret, especially from her own mother. Maybe it was the fact that people believed he was now a 33-year-old doctor that was married to Esme instead of a centuries-old vampire forever aged twenty-three years.

“So, you’re still with that blood-sucker doctor?” Paul’s voice startled her as she got into her truck.

This type of interference had become quite common between the pair of friends. It was clear to (Y/N) that Paul would never accept her relationship. Given the rift between the species, there was nothing in the near future that could bring peace to them both.

“Can we not do this, Paul?” (Y/N) sighed defeatedly. “I understand you don’t like him, and I’m not asking you to be his friend. All I’m asking you is to respect him as my partner. That’s all. As my friend, I would hope you could extend me at least that courtesy.”

“Look, (Y/N). All I can promise you is that I’ll be here when he inevitably breaks your heart.”

She could not stand the smug smirk that was on his face like he knew a secret she didn’t. “And what makes you think he will?”

“Because he’s a vampire,” he chuckled. “He has maybe two or three more years before people start noticing that he’s not aging. And not even that, what would people say about the perfect thrity-three-year-old doctor dating an eighteen-year-old? What would people say?”

“Paul, get away from my car.” Her voice was stern. Her hands gripped the steering wheel until her knuckles went white. “Whatever I do not share with you about my personal life is of no concern to you. And whatever people think about me or Carlisle, does not concern me. I am sure in our relationship, and I don’t need anyone’s validation of it.” 

“That’s why you keep it a secret from everyone, then? Because you don’t care what people say,” he pushed. “Let me know how that plays out. Have fun tonight, (Y/N).” 

“Goodbye, Paul.” 

“See you around, (Y/N).” 

Through her rearview mirror see his form shrinking, the same smirk permanent on his face. She could not admit that he was right. In a matter of years, the Cullens would need to move from Forks before the townspeople started to look into their suspicions.

(Y/N) put those thoughts at the back of her head. She wouldn’t have to worry about that for a long time, she thought. There was no need to stress herself over it now.

As she arrived at the Cullen residence, Carlisle was waiting for her outside. He was dressed in a black suit, a blue scarf loosely wrapped around his neck. His radiant smile served as an accessory to his perfect face.

“You look ravishing, my love.” Carlisle opened her car door, extending a hand to help her out. He twirled her slowly, taking in the sight of her before dipping her as he kissed her gingerly. “I’m glad you could join us tonight.”

“Thank you, darling,” (Y/N) beamed. “You look very handsome yourself.”

He led her into the home and an involuntary gasp left (Y/N)’s mouth. Alice had gone overboard as usual, but it was an astonishing view. The room was lit by pink candles, paired with a plethora of crystal bowls filled with roses. The table that homed the intricate pink birthday cake was dressed in white, holding plates and silverware, as well as silver-wrapped presents. It made (Y/N)’s small gift bag look cheap.

“I thought Bella didn’t want a big thing,” she whispered to Carlisle. She was sure the Swan girl would hate the attention she would get during her birthday.

“This isn’t big,” he chuckled. “This is just how much Edward was able to rein Alice in. Once she gets an idea in her head, there’s no one that can make her desist of it.”

“Regardless, it’s beautiful.” 

(Y/N) left her gift on the table, hiding it behind the professionally wrapped gifts before following Carlisle to the kitchen. There Esme was cooking a small meal since the only two people that could consume human food were Bella and her. Regardless, she was sure Esme had already set aside some food for her to take home as she had done a week ago after she had recovered.

Esme was accompanied by a rowdy Emmett and a scowling Rosalie. (Y/N) knew Rosalie wanted to be anywhere but there. Many would take her disdain for Bella unwarranted and far too extreme, but the Uley girl knew better. Rosalie could not stand a person wanting to renounce her humanity so willingly. She was angry that the one thing she wanted more than anything, Bella was so quick to want to get rid of. Thankfully, she held no qualms toward (Y/N), since she was considering all of her options instead of diving headfirst into immortality. If it weren’t for Edward, Bella would have joined them as a vampire the second she knew what they were.

On the other hand, Emmett was very excited. He went on and on about the surprise they had in store for Bella – a new stereo for her old and beat-up truck. Knowing the Cullens, she knew they would much rather have gotten Bella a new car. The stereo was just a compromise. He also rambled about all the things Rosalie and he did whilst on their trip to Africa – everyone in town believing they were in Dartmouth continuing their collegiate studies. The juxtaposition between Rosalie and Emmett was astronomical, but they simply worked.

“I’m glad you’re here, Rose.” (Y/N) sat next to the blonde, her gaze softening as she acknowledged Uley’s presence. “Was the trip back comfortable?”

“Comfortable enough,” she smiled softly. “Though I wish I was still over there. It’s dumb to celebrate the birthday of someone that doesn’t value her human life. I mean, she said she wanted no gifts, but I’m sure if Edward offered it, she’d jump at the chance to become a vampire.”

“Rose, why are you so harsh on her?” (Y/N) questioned. “I’m human as well and I will be facing the same question one day, but you don’t hold resentment toward me.”

“Because you actually value your human life. We all know every time you’re with Carlisle you’re debating whether immortality is something you can do. You appreciate the gift you have of running blood and a beating heart. She doesn’t.”

“Well, I understand that. But at least it will be her choice,” she countered. “It might not be the choice you would have made – at the end of the day, the only one that can decide what her future will be like is Bella. Maybe you can ease up a little bit on her?”

“I mean, I won’t say anything, but I can’t help what my face will look like,” she grinned.

“Okay,” (Y/N) chuckled. “If you feel too annoyed at any point, you can pull me aside at any time.”

 “Make it look like a Mean Girls scene?” Rosalie laughed.

“What’s so funny?” Carlisle joined them, placing a kiss on (Y/N)’s cheek and wrapping his arms around her waist. 

“Just checking on Rose here,” she smiled, leaning into his touch. “Make sure everyone enjoys tonight.”

“Isn’t that nice of you, love?” He gifted his girlfriend a gleaming smile. “Now, can I steal her away for just a second?”

“Be my guest.”

 Carlisle led her to the back porch and memories of the night he confessed to being a vampire came flooding back. She remembered the tears, the hurt, the disappointment. However, she didn’t feel that anymore. Now, she was happy, in love, and excited about the future.

Soft music trickled out onto the porch, the patio lights glimmering above them. Carlisle twirled (Y/N) and placed one hand on the small of her back and the other held hers. They danced softly under the moonlight, enjoying each other’s presence. Moments like these were what made eternity such a gratifying temptation.

“Have I ever told you that I love you, Carlisle Cullen?” (Y/N) looked up into his golden eyes, their height difference very apparent the closer they were.

“I believe you have mentioned it once or twice,” he smiled. His head dipped down and his ice-cold lips touched to hers. “If I’ve ever known love it is because I met you. I am completely and utterly consumed by the desire of being with you.”

“You know, I wouldn’t mind forever if it always felt like this,” she whispered. It had been the first time she had admitted her contemplation of eternity by his side.

“Are you sure you’re not just intoxicated by the moonlight?” He didn’t want to let on how excited he was. As much as he questioned if her becoming a vampire was the right thing, unlike Edward, he dreamed of eternal life alongside her and being the one to give it to her. Maybe it was for selfish reasons, but he couldn’t see himself continuing forever by himself. “But, are you serious? You would consider the change?”

“It’s not something I take lightly,” she smiled looking down. “Leaving my mom, becoming my brother’s enemy, abandoning my friends again – it is the hardest decision that I would ever have to make. But you, Carlisle Cullen, are worth it.” 

She placed a warm hand on his stone-hard cheek, making his eyes flutter closed and a smile to creep onto his face. (Y/N) pulled Carlisle’s face down softly, connecting their lips in a soft and passionate kiss. One Carlisle deepened by placing his hands on her face and pulling her in.

“Nevertheless,” she chuckled slightly. “I would like a few years still of being human; a couple of birthdays. I could not be forever eighteen with a twenty-three-year-old partner.”

“Anything you want, my love,” he smiled. Happiness was the only thing that surged inside the vampire’s body. Knowing that the possibility of spending the rest of their lives intertwined grew larger every day had him excited for the future – for the first time in hundreds upon hundreds of years he was excited about the future. “I can understand not wanting to spend the rest of your life the same age as my children – going to high school and college every few years.”

“Yeah, and have people still believing you and Esme are together?” (Y/N) teasingly laughed. “I’ll take the few human years over that. Maybe even enroll in medical school in the next town we go to. A fresh start?”

“Fresh start.” He gave her another kiss, hugging her body to his. “Now, we should be heading inside. Bella’s here.”

The couple headed inside, walking hand-in-hand, bright and unwavering smiles on their faces. Nothing could have prepared them for the rapid decline of the night. Bella’s papercut detonated a series of events that left everyone on edge. The droplet of blood activated Jasper’s never-ending hunger for human blood, prompting Edward to push Bella back in an effort to keep her protected from his brother’s fangs. A move that backfired as she collided with a glass table that shattered on impact, embedding small shards of glass in the girl’s arm.

(Y/N) wanted to spring to action, but Carlisle held her back. As much as he knew she wanted to help, he would not allow her to be in the line of fire. They were being faced head-on with the consequences of having humans inside a vampire circle.

Emmett wrapped his giant arms around the blonde boy and did his best to pull him out of the house. The rest of the family followed behind, all hands on deck to make sure Jasper was as far from the house as possible.

Edward and Alice had been the only two to stay back, working their hardest to not breathe in the scent of blood. Still, it was easy to see that they were struggling. Even if they had been around the liquid for a long time, no one had as strong a resistance as Carlisle. Once the imminent danger was far from reach, the older Cullen took care of Bella.

“Edward, they’re right,” (Y/N) intercepted as Carlisle and Bella tried to convince the lovesick boy to leave the room filled with the metallic smell. “It’ll be better if you go check on Jasper. You too, Alice. We’ve got things handled here, guys.”

The vampiric siblings left the room with apologetic stares toward the injured girl. (Y/N) was sure they wanted to stay as moral support, but the longer they did, the worse their hunger would get. And Carlisle would not be able to protect either human girl from two feral vampires on his own.

“I’ll start clearing out the mess outside,” (Y/N) announced. “Unless you need any more help here?”

“I’ve got it covered, dear,” he smiled. “Thank you.”

(Y/N) left the kitchen with a trash can and cleaning supplies. Once back at the living room, she saw Esme already getting started. She could see that the woman was holding her breath, even the sight of the blood had her woozy.

“Esme, let me,” she offered. “Be with your family.”

“It’s okay,” Esme slurred slightly. “I’m okay.”

“You don’t have to be. Seriously, I’ve got this,” (Y/N) smiled. “Get some air.”

It did not take long for (Y/N) to clear out all the glass and the trampled roses, careful of the shards and avoiding another disaster. After all the shrapnel was cleared, she got to mopping the floor. Almost instantly, the white mop turned a deep hue of pink, sopping up all the crimson liquid that had dripped onto the white floor. The smell of bleach burned her nostrils, quickly starting a headache.

Satisfied with her work, (Y/N) threw away the bags with the tainted glass and the used mop, making sure to pour bleach into the trash can to mask the smell. Then she headed back to the kitchen to check up on Bella and Carlisle.

“What about you and (Y/N)?” Bella inquired. “How are you getting over this whole human-vampire thing? It’s not that different from Edward and me. Yet, you guys make it look so easy.”

“It hasn’t been,” Carlisle sighed. “Unlike… my son, I do not see this as a damnation on one’s soul. (Y/N) can and will make the decision for herself. Who am I to tell her what her life should be?”

“Does she want to be a vampire?” Bella continued. “And would you regret turning her into one?”

“It seems she’s leaning toward that decision,” he smiled. “Regardless of what she decides, I’m just happy that I was able to meet her. Having her in my life has been the greatest gift immortality has given me. I don’t see how it can be so bad when it led me to her.”

(Y/N) could not help the smile that crept onto her face along with a red color on her cheeks. “How’re we doing here?” she interrupted. “Anything I can help with?”

“We’re just about done,” Carlisle announced. “I suppose I should take you home now.”

“I’ll do that,” Edward said, coming into the room silently.

Carlisle motioned at (Y/N) to leave the couple by themselves, disappearing into his bedroom after giving a quiet goodnight.

The bed was perfectly made, unchanged since (Y/N)’s week-long stay at the residence. She smiled at the nights she spent there. Though sick and weakened, it had been the longest time she had spent with Carlisle uninterrupted.

“Penny for your thoughts, darling?” Carlisle broke her out of her contemplation. “You seem a little out of it.”

“I’m just thinking back to a couple of weeks ago,” she smiled. “It was intimate – the baths, the cuddles, the closeness. It makes me think…”

“Of what goes beyond that?” He grinned as she sheepishly nodded. “I can’t lie and say I haven’t thought of it before.”

 “Well, what are we going to do about it? I am sure there is an obvious solution to this,” she teased. She slowly started losing the distance between them, rounding the bed. “But we’d have to start by removing this shirt.”

Her fingers danced over the buttons of the blood-speckled blue shirt. They had already witnessed what was under their clothes, but this night felt different – this night was different.

“Don’t start something we can’t finish, love,” Carlisle grumbled. His eyes had gone dark as he followed her slim fingers button by button. As she worked her way down, more of his marble white skin was exposed. “We shouldn’t, dear.”

“Why not?” Now she was wearing a devilish grin. “I know we both want it. We should allow ourselves to have the things we want.”

“I could hurt you.” He took a sharp breath as her hands went up his chest, traveling to his shoulder and ridding them of the stained shirt. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You have the best self-control of all the vampires I know – though I don’t know many,” she chuckled. “I know you would never hurt me, not intentionally. And I am stronger than I look; I can take it, darling.”

“I just don’t think…”

“Stop thinking, Carlisle,” she incited. “Let go. For once, let go.”

And he did.

--------------------------18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI-----------------------

Carlisle crashed his lips onto hers, hungry. It had been years since he had indulged in matters of the flesh, always finding it an unsatisfying activity with the partners he had been with. This was different. This time he was in love, he was pent-up, he was touch deprived. His bare chest collided with hers, eliminating whatever space was left between them.

“I want to make sure this is something you actually want,” Carlisle interrupted. “We can stop at any point, alright?"

"I want this, Carlisle,” she panted. “I want everything with you.”

(Y/N) pulled him down by his neck, connecting them once more. She was nervous, of course. It was her first time, but she felt ready. Though she lacked in experience, she knew what to do. Years and years of reading had taught her what she needed to know.

Carlisle turned her, his lips on her neck and his hands on the back of her dress. She brushed her hair forward, providing him with more access to her skin. As he slid her zipper down, chills ran through her body. The man could see how her skin prickled at his touch, which worked to turn him on even more. Being able to hear and see how her body reacted to him made the arousal in his own body grow to exponentially new heights.

Once the dress had been zipped completely down, Carlisle slid the sleeves off her shoulders, letting the piece of fabric to fall and pool at her feet. His fingers gingerly traced her body, leaving a kiss on every spot he passed – her neck, kiss; her shoulder, kiss; the curve of her waist; her hips, her thighs. Down there he grabbed the dress and helped her step out of her clothes.

“You look ravishing, my love.” He joined her once more face-to-face, kissing her hungrily. “Perfectly exquisite.”

“Wait, wait, Carlisle,” she breathed out. Carlisle was perplexed by a spot on her neck that drew out soft moans and pants from her mouth. “Your family. They will hear.”

“Edward took Bella home.” Back to her neck. “The rest are still out with Jasper. We are all alone.”

With a wicked grin, he bounced her up, prompting her to wrap her legs around his waist as he moved them to the bed. Without breaking the kiss, he laid her gently on the bed. His lips traveled her body, stopping at the mounds of her chest. With his mouth, he lapped at one and his hands gave attention to the other. Carlisle coaxed the most guttural moans from her, using so little stimulus he was able to elicit such deep reactions.  

Every part of him was cold, ice-cold. It contrasted against her now over-heated body and helped keep her at a comfortable temperature. He was comfortable, he felt natural.

After he felt satisfied he’d taken care of her stiff peaks, Carlisle’s mouth traveled down once more. He left kisses on her stomach, her waist, her hips, hovering over the waistband of her underwear. She had not planned for this night to go this way, but she was glad she had at least worn an attractive pair.

(Y/N) prompted herself on her elbows, watching as Carlisle used his teeth to pull the black lacy undergarments off her body. This was a new look on the man. Long gone were the golden eyes that stared at her, instead they were replaced with an unparalleled hunger – lust. And she could not decide which gaze she liked more.

As he came back up, he kissed up her legs, his lips tickling her legs. Carlisle wanted to stretch out the moment, make sure he savored every bit of the woman in his arms. Unlike his other “conquests,” she was special, and he wanted to make sure she felt that way.

“Carlisle,” she giggled breathlessly. “Stop teasing me. I need you.”

“Anything you want, dear,” he grinned.

That’s when he started his feasting. Carlisle licked a stripe up (Y/N)’s fold, fishing out a stammered gasp from the girl. She was sensitive and completely drenched. The man started working overtime when he circled his mound over the tender mound that lived at the top of her cunt. He flicked his tongue, sucked, and circled. Her screams of pleasure only worked to light a fire in him. (Y/N)’s sweet nectar was his source of food, and he was ravenously hungry.

Soon his mouth was aided by a cold hard digit, sliding expertly into her drenched entrance. He made (Y/N) explode in a pattern of screams and mewls, her hands diving into the golden strands of his hair, pulling and grabbing.

“Fu~uck,” she mumbled out as Carlisle squeezed in another finger. “Baby, I’m close.”

“Cum, darling,” he muttered against her. “I wanna feel you on my fingers.”

He pumped faster, making sure to curve the tip of his fingers to reach the spongy spot that would yield faster results. With each movement her insides got wetter and wetter, making it easier to slide one more digit into her. He knew it was her first time — though not able romantic as he would have wanted to give her — and wanted to make sure she was prepped and stretched enough for her enjoyment.

This was more than the utmost carnal act; it was a demonstration of the love and trust they held for each other. Not only was (Y/N) trusting Carlisle with the experience and her body, but she was also trusting him with her life.

With a few more strokes, (Y/N) let herself come undone. Her legs clamped around the man’s head, her hands gripping his hair for stability. For the longest time, she had theorized how her first orgasm would happen. She had read about it, of course, and she had partaken in certain solo ministrations. But nothing had felt like this. This was an out-of-body experience — a spiritual one even.

“Carlisle, baby,” she whispered. “I need you. I-I need to feel you inside me.”

The man wore a toothy grin, the devil flashing in his eyes. His hand reached for the bedside table, pulling out a silver wrapper from it. (Y/N) followed his movement, laughter slowly building up in her throat.

“Why would we need that?” (Y/N) chuckled as she propped herself up by her elbows. “It’s not like you could get me pregnant.”

“I am a doctor, darling,” he smirked. “I’ve got to lead by example.”

Without another question, Carlisle slipped the sleeve on. Not that a vampire like him would need it. Nevertheless, he felt it was his medical moral duty to wear one. Carlisle aligned himself with her entrance with one hand, placing the other gingerly on her cheek. His eyes glazed over with love and adoration, and his lips whispered a kiss onto hers.

“Are you ready?” He asked tenderly. Carlisle knew her body was prepared, but he wanted to make sure her mind was. He waited until (Y/N) shyly nodded, responding with a sweet smile. “Alright, my love.”

In one move his cock glided into her, fitting inside to the hilt on the first try. (Y/N) let out a strangled cry, feeling completely full. Her wetness swallowed him perfectly, aiding his member as he slid in and out. It did not take long for Carlisle to find the right rhythm, pumping in and out of the moaning woman, his experience clearly showing.

(Y/N) startled the man when, in one fell swoop, she flipped him onto the bed and placed herself on top. Carlisle was surprised at the strength she had shown by changing their positions. She was reaching areas she did not know were there.

Carlisle placed his ice-cold hands on her hips, stabilizing her body as she rode him to their climaxes. He was enthralled by the view – how her breasts jumped, how her nails tried to dig into his chest, how her head fell back in pleasure, how her mouth let out the most enchanting sounds. She was the perfect view, the only one he ever wanted to look upon.

“Fuck, baby,” she moaned. “I’m close.”

“Just hold on for a little more,” Carlisle whispered. “I’m almost there.”

He started meeting her jumps by pushing his hips upward, hitting her up to the hilt. (Y/N) could not help the sounds spilling out of her throat now, every movement was sending electric spurts through her body, not being able to feel Carlisle’s cold anymore.

(Y/N) had dreamt of this moment. She was completely connected to the man she loved, giving herself, body and soul, to him. It felt like the answer to a prayer she had no idea she had made. Carlisle was the answer to all of her most inner desires.

Picking up the pace, and an agonizing hold on her hips that would definitely bruise, (Y/N) guided them to the peak of ecstasy. Each of them screamed out the other’s name like it was the most beautiful song they had ever heard.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She collapsed onto him, using his body to bring her temperature down. Carlisle wrapped his arms around her, holding her as close as humanly possible. He breathed in her scent; it was different after the momentous occasion they had just shared.

They basked in the silence of the house, the silence of the moment. Until Carlisle broke the auditory void. He asked, “How do you feel?”

“Like never before,” (Y/N) smiled. Her breathing was still staggered, working hard to stabilize itself after that cardio workout. “Can’t believe we waited this long to do that.”

“It happened when it needed to,” he chuckled. “Now, you should probably rest.”

“O~or,” she grinned. “I could go for a round two if you can.”

“You don’t have to ask me twice.”

As they kissed again, (Y/N) could not help but commit the moment to her memory. She was in love, she was happy, and there was nothing in the world that could take that away.

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[slippery-domjot-balls]

DS9 S4 E17 Accession - Slippy Analysis

Sisko is the Emissary....but then the wormhole poops out this super old Bajoran spaceship with some poet man named Akorem who claims to also be the Emissary.

This episode is about reconciling who people think you are compared to who you want to be. We all face the expectations and perspectives that people have for us, so let's take a page out of the Sisko playbook of self-confidence and learn for ourselves!

First step is brooding. He is really talented at brooding.

Since the moment he took command of DS9 he has had the challenge of being viewed as a critical religious figure in an alien religion. I cannot imagine moving to a new town and then having everyone tell me that I am some spiritual messiah and savior for them.

At first there would be denial. Sisko does not accept the mantle of Emissary and denies that he is that figure in Bajoran society.

We see Sisko begin this episode as a man that humors Bajoran society. He knows their expectations for him and he carries out his duty out of sympathy, but he is not a believer. In fact, he is somewhat spiteful of the spiritual calling. Given the chance he would retire from the role.

Enter the chance.

Akorem is all in with the Emissary calling. Sisko sees this and with relief abdicates his role.

Akorem wants to help Bajoran spiritual development. He is serving the Prophets because he believes their will is what is best for Bajorans. Thus, he reinstitutes the D'Jarras, that dreadful caste system.

We have our own D'Jarras in real life. The D'Jarras have potential for positivity and negativity. If your passions line up with your D'Jarra then all doors figuratively are open to you. One of my personal passions is reading. If my D'Jarra was to curate books and review books then I would naturally have all opportunities to pursue that and maintain some form of security to provide for my life's obligations. Sounds nice, but it still have the caveat of job inflexibility and someone else dictating what I can be allowed to do for my entire life.

The primary negative is that the D'Jarra system dictates levels of social standing and respect. This negates individuality, personal autonomy, and erases dignity based on who you are as a person.

Some societies might practice something more parallel to the DS9 caste system in reality, but we all feel the pressures of what others tell us to do in our lives. We hear things like "oh that won't give you financial stability or success" or we might be told "that is ridiculous don't do that". Some voices encourage and influence us in one direction or another. No one is immune.

The key is, just like Sisko, we must find balance. We need support from people that love us and want us to pursue our own desires.

Society needs us and wants our abilities to make the entire community better. We need society as we benefit from everyone else's input. But our purpose in life is more than just to labor to keep the species alive. That purpose varies from individual to individual. Some find purpose in seeking divine connections or deity worship, others find it in creation and arts, while some find purpose through manipulation and power and greed.

Sisko finds the D'jarra caste system deplorable, and it drives him to become a more genuine advocate for the Bajorans. He sees the pain and strife caused by the caste system. He has grown to accept that he can serve Bajor in a spiritual capacity while not compromising his personal dignity and at this point wants to do so. He is not humoring Bajorans, but genuinely serving them by providing them with spiritual comfort through ritual.

By the end of the episode Sisko has become a better Emissary....maybe this was by design???

We've got to talk about our favorite girl!!! Goodness I just love her so much.

Accession provides two characters for the audience to relate with. Sisko represents the moments where we feel responsibility does not fit our comforts or desires, but it is still good for us and we must grow into the new role.

Kira is when we are given a responsibility that ultimately does not work with us or provide positive growth.

She is a phenomenal person. Despite her artistic challenges and inexperience she gives it her best. She has a high work ethic and is honest. When life gives her a task she dives in and tries no matter the opposition. Kira is the type of person that we should all emulate, but also learn from. She let her faith blind her to the truth.

She does not give up, but she recognizes that Sisko provides the progress Bajorans need. She overcame her blindness.

Kira went on a spiritual journey herself in order to accept Sisko as the Emissary.

Imagine growing up and being told that someone will save your people from disaster. You are given a job in the building that used to imprison your friends and work them to death. The new big boss in town is a representative of a foreign government sending aid to your people. The Space Nuns now tell you and all your people that the new foreign government dude is the very savior you have all been waiting for.....

How could he be though? He doesn't know your religion. He does not know your culture. Hell, he doesn't even know traditional foods (well maybe Sisko does since he is such a foodie).

Anyway, that is a GYNORMOUS leap of faith. Kira has made it though. She believes is Sisko as the Emissary. I think she believes in him now more than ever since Akorem has taken over. Kira knows that Sisko is the Emissary, but she supports him to the point of even watching him reject his calling.

We all should take confidence in ourselves. Public standing, reputation, social station, and responsibility are irrelevant. What you decide to do with your life despite all odds is your prerogative. There will always be obstacles and doubts that want to change or shape your path in life. Tread with determination and bring good friends with you.

Today's "thank you for reading this long post" is a lipstick heavy smooch on the cheek. 💋

#slippy thoughts #ds9 #star trek #kira nerys #benjamin sisko #pictures courtesy of trekcore.com

[jugaflugg]

About Ochaco

Perhaps I have felt the need lately, through my own interactions with the fandom, to defend my favourite characters more vehemently than I once did. I think this has its roots in the increasing amount of poor criticism I have seen regarding characters, in general - no doubt this is a by-product of the series ending, and tensions rising as a result.

I think one of the characters that is so frequently misunderstood, and also happens to be one of my favourites, is Ochaco. This long-standing issue is related to her place in the story as the female protagonist of the piece - an inherently controversial role due to the rampant sexism within the anime community (or, even, just the world at large).

My specific issue is the misinterpretation of her character that tends to rise out of her relationship with Deku. It's an inevitability, given that he is the protagonist, that every character will interact with him in different ways. For example, his relationship with All Might is one of teacher and student, whilst is relationship with Bakugo is one of rivalry and, to a degree, friendship.

However, Ochaco's relationship with Deku has become more complex since the revelation of her affections towards him. I think, for many people, this was considered an inevitability of her character and role in the story; for others, they may feel that it ruined her characterisation.

I take issue with the pseudo-feminism behind claims that a woman should reject stereotypical institutions such as marriage and family. A true feminist stance is one that encourages women to take the path that best suits them - including one in which they fall in love, get married, and have children.

In Ochaco's case, her emotional connection to Deku becomes one that influences her perspective on hero work. Given the story is, in some ways, an exploration of these different hero ideologies, and specifically how Deku influences, or is influenced by, these ideologies, this is a logical step for her character.

Moreover, her wanting to become like Deku falls in line with how her foil, Toga, perceives others - particularly those she admires. Whilst Toga wishes to become those that she has affectionate feelings for, Ochaco's path in the story is one that enables her to retain her identity, whilst also being inspired by Deku and the other heroes around her. The ability to be yourself is one that takes strength and courage.

Nonetheless, I would like to add: Toga's emotional attachment is a valid one - how she perceives love is different to others, but the inherent lack of identity that comes with it is a detriment. She needs time to come to terms with who she is before she can enter a relationship with anyone at all.

It does still need to be noted though, that Ochaco needs to come to terms with her emotions to effectively close out her arc. The criticism of her emotions that I have seen from fans of the series tends to reduce her to merely a love interest, which does not accurately portray every aspect of her character.

Moreover, for one to have a crush, or to be in love, is something that is not a detriment to their capabilities in achieving their goals.

Ochaco's resolve to understand her emotions properly, and accept them for her benefit, is what her story is about. Furthermore, this falls in line with Deku's parallel storyline of being able to control his own emotions for the benefit of his hero work, and his personal mental stability.

Removing those emotions entirely is counterproductive.

In fact, it suggests that a hero should not live with passion or emotion for others, as though being dispassionate in one's own life increases their capabilities as a hero. It does not. Ochaco's whole arc is about recognising this.

I feel a strong sense of connection to Ochaco, as a character. Her hero ideology - Who saves the heroes? - is inherently selfless and deeply personal to me. Reducing her character to a stereotype does her a disservice, and does not aid in our understanding of her story, or Deku's. If anything, it denies her value as a female protagonist, perpetuating the issues of sexism and misogyny within the anime and manga community.

#ochaco #deku #izuocha #i think? #all might #bakugo #essay #my hero academia #mha #bnha #boku no hero academia #i think that's all the tags... one day i'll learn to tag correctly #also some of this i copied from my twitter account since i explained it already there #:)

[sophieinwonderland]

hello! ive been wondering, how did you come across your transX beliefs? as in, thought processes, questions you had, how to reserve judgment, etc!

i aspire to have more critical thinking about topics that arent socially accepted (yet) and youve shown a lot of it, this being just one of the instances.

I think it just helps to just have a relatively firm moral philosophy. What that philosophy is can be up to you. But it needs to be consistent, and you need to be willing to stand by it, but also adjust and re-evaluate it as needed.

You also need to be able to separate a personal sense of "this seems weird and I don't like it" from "this is morally wrong."

On the TransX community, some of it seems strange. But what I come back to is that it can't just be about whether something feels wrong. Is has to be "is this immoral by my own principles?"

And this is important because throughout history, there have always been things that were unpopular or seen as gross at the time which, when we look back, were clearly the result of prejudice rather than any sort of rationality.

So my first question is if harm is intended by an action. Are people identifying as this in good faith or are they pretending to hurt people? And from what I've seen, the community is genuine.

My second question is what harm is being done, and is it acceptable?

And I realize that "acceptable harm" is immediately a worrying concept, but it's something we need to talk about and be not scared to address. Because there are many cases where an action is going to cause harm, and it's acceptable.

We are regularly put in situations where we have to put ourselves and our own interests above those of others. You could argue that many LGBT people who have come out to conservative and bigoted family members have "harmed" them emotionally. They chose to take an action that indirectly resulted in someone else experiencing emotional pain.

And that's okay. I think everyone would agree that putting yourself and your happiness above others in this instance is not only acceptable but encouraged.

What this boils down to for me is that you aren't responsible for adjusting your identity to please others. You aren't responsible for their hate.

When it comes to the transX community, a lot of the arguments for how they're supposedly harmful aren't actually about actual damage they're doing. It's about the transX community being upsetting to people who dislike them.

And while I believe that it's completely valid for someone who grew up dealing with racism or ableism and being attacked for these things feeling like someone not born into that is taking something from them with their identity... this is also the TERF argument. TERFs see being a woman as inherently tied to how you're born, and believe that people transitioning to women inherently devalues the sexism they've had to deal with.

No one would say, though, that it's immoral to transition because it might cause emotional damage to TERFs.

Ultimately, what it comes down to for me is that I haven't seen true evidence of these communities causing real harm, and I don't think I could oppose many of the transX identities while maintaining my own moral consistency.

#ask box #transx #transid #trace #trans id #transabled #transrace #diarace #lgbt #trans #transgender #morality #morals #queer

[allnightlongzine]

Finding Love in Mall Goth Purgatory

"I will ride for My Chemical Romance to the grave, because, from 2002 to 2012, they rode for both you and me."

Horror Movie Marathon | September 26, 2018 | talkhouse.com

On October 16, 2005, my sister and I put on our eyeliner, slid into our mall-goth armor, and drove an hour north to Hartford, Connecticut to see My Chemical Romance for what would be our first time of many. It was still a year before their magnum opus, The Black Parade, was to be released. When the lights came down and the show began, a spotlight emerged at the center of the stage, illuminating only a microphone stand ornamented with a bouquet of dead roses. Gerard Way, the band’s flamboyantly morbid ringleader, stepped out of the stage’s dark abyss looking like a corpse priest, adorned in heavy white makeup and full-on church robes. The band opened with “Interlude,” going right into “Thank You For The Venom.” If you’re an MCR fan, you know how fucking sick of an opener this is. My life changed forever after this concert.

Do you have any idea how satisfying it feels to look a DIY-hipster-judge in the eyes and tell them, in all honesty, that in 2018 your favorite band is still My Chemical Romance? You can learn a lot about someone by their reaction to such an admission. Perhaps such a statement makes me an obnoxious judge in my own right, but the truth is, I will ride for MCR to the grave, because, from 2002 to 2012, they rode for both you and me.

MCR, in all their macabre glory, were unwaveringly dedicated to an ethos of inclusivity and honesty, love and compassion, death and rebirth—the kind of virtuosity that was frowned upon in the popular music of 2005, yet now celebrated in 2018. They flew their freak flag high and encouraged others to do the same, all at a time when that breed of non-judgmental sincerity was viewed as sin by every taste-making music critic in an Animal Collective t-shirt. Now, in 2018, I find myself a 26-year-old musician who has been deeply influenced by their music and message, getting into one intoxicated conversation after another, hoping to spread the gothic gospel of MCR to the remaining non-believers.

When MCR played live, their dedication to the audience was palpable. Like an explosion of wicked cats jumping out of a witch’s cauldron, each band member would erupt with raw energy to give an over-the-top performance of catchy goth punk songs. I believe one of the reasons MCR has retained such a loyal and dedicated fan base is because their wildly emotional performances never felt like a façade; they were keenly aware that it was a privilege to be on stage, and this cognizance of respect manifested itself through the messages of love encoded in their songs and live performances.

This respect for their audience was also evident in Way’s interviews and onstage monologues regarding mental health, accepting other people for who they are, and the hypocrisies of masculinity. Throughout the press surrounding both their major label debut Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge and The Black Parade, Way candidly discussed his struggles with depression and addiction, and his hope that their music could help save other people’s lives as it did his. MCR were always vocal that they wanted their music to save people, which admittedly sounds cheesy at first, but it’s a pretty admirable statement when you know that the majority of the band’s fan base were depressed kids experiencing the world from suburban mall goth purgatory.  

The band has earned such respect from their diehard fans that even they don’t want a reunion, unless the band feels that it’s right. As seen in the article recently published by Noisey about MCR’s still very active fan base, some even go so far to say that the band reuniting would be antithetical to their message of death and rebirth, and the positivity of change therein. Literally, how many international superstar bands have fans that are this aware and respectful of the complex relationship band members can have to their music and the message it projects? Most fans of world famous rock bands will sound off in the YouTube comments section with blustery statements of aggravation and entitlement, demanding a reunion show or a new album. But MCR fans? They prefer the band stay broken up because they want to respect the band as much as the band respected them.

Very few of MCR’s peers from the mid-‘00s gave or earned the kind of respect from their fans that MCR did. Rather, many bands that tried to align with MCR’s message and image were essentially selling counterfeit emotion in the form of trendy Hot Topic t-shirt designs, insincere stage antics, and utterly benign, and frequently misogynistic, pop music. In 2018, it is sheer fact that many of those bands were full of shit and exploited the vulnerability that their scene implied to enact gross and predatory behavior.

This is one reason why taste-making machines like Pitchfork and BrooklynVegan were justified in ignoring and condescending the mid-’00s emo cesspool as it germinated throughout malls and low-capacity venues across the country. However, that’s not to say the overly-abstracted, pseudo-intellectual ramblings of mid-’00s Pitchfork hype bands weren’t totally absurd and problematic in their own right. Both music scenes postured a kind of moral code through songs, images, and fashion that signified a certain perspective towards culture and its problems at the moment. But, the reality is that bands from both scenes hardly ever posited their morals or virtues unless the sign of the times directly requested it from them.

This was not the case for MCR. They were just a band of five dudes from New Jersey, but they vehemently promoted equal rights on- and off-stage. Their pop-gothic world of vampires and ghosts, octave slides, and tri-tonal harmony always served a greater message at hand. Their comic book and horror movie-influenced narratives always represented a power in owning the trauma of the past and moving forward towards hope. In being themselves and helping others be themselves, MCR transcended both the hip arena of art-rock coolness and the sewage of Warped Tour residue, flying high in the black sky as one of the greatest rock bands of our time.

Now, it’s 2018. The lot of mid-‘00s hipsters and scenesters has mostly evaporated and come back as other representations. Most of the members of MCR are parents and focus on their own projects: Gerard Way is about to launch a Netflix show based on his comic book series The Umbrella Academy; Mikey Way has been performing as a voice actor; Frank Iero has a punk band that records and tours; and Ray Toro is helping other musicians shred to hell and back as a producer and engineer in his New Jersey studio.

For me, and many fans like me, I am no longer just a fawning teen, but a 26-year-old musician. I use the passion, conviction, and love I learned from MCR as fuel for my own project, Horror Movie Marathon. Very few of the people I collaborate with or know are big fans of My Chemical Romance. Sometimes, people will tell me one of my songs reminds them of this pop group or that folk artist, which is usually very accurate—I essentially make pop-folk music. My admission of MCR’s influence on my music will either be met with a resounding “Hell yeah, ‘Helena’ is tight,” or a recoil and a facial expression that says, “I wish I didn’t just give you the honor of comparing your music to Jon Brion.”

I can’t hide my love for the band, and why would I? Their songs meditate on the horrific beauty of tragedy, and in the tradition of true tragic storytelling, there’s always a viscerally moving message gleaming through the metaphoric language. MCR worked their asses off to make those messages as potent as possible; it was an energy you could hear in their songs and see in their live performances. Through all the morbid metaphors, spooky stories, and dazzling stylizations was an indestructible foundation of love and gratitude for the life-saving spirit of music. Even though the externalities of my music don’t resemble MCR’s very much, their message of love and respect will forever influence the core of what I create.

#personal #2000s #talkhouse #outside

[abeautifulblog]

What’s a controversial opinion that you have?

lol, mate that sounds like a trap, but sure, I'll step on that grenade.

I think the proshipping/antishipping discourse lacks nuance on both sides.

The bullying and the targeted harassment that antis have committed against creators they've deemed insufficiently morally-pure is no way to treat another human being, full stop. No matter what you think they're guilty of, that's mob justice, and like, remember how we generally consider mob justice to be a BAD thing...?

It's also a very simplistic mode of thinking, that both misunderstands the link between performativity and actual behavior, and is ultimately futile, because what they want is just not feasible in the real world.

Seriously, people, give me your actionable plan for how you intend to impose the kind of censorship you want on AO3, that wouldn't just turn into a blunt weapon to be leveraged selectively by anyone with a grudge. You can't. There is no place to draw a line in the sand, re: what kind of content is acceptable and what’s not (because everyone is insufficiently morally-pure for SOMEONE), and even if there were, there is no practical way to implement it on a website that is run by volunteers. Attempting to do so would be the beginning of the end for AO3, because once people start banning things, they don’t stop. The list of banned content is only ever going to get longer, its boundaries more nebulously-defined, until AO3 becomes just as stifling as every other social media platform has, in the name of respectability.

It’s oppressive to live under that kind of censorship -- where part of your mind is always keeping track of what’ll get you kicked, or shadowbanned, or quietly delisted. And the upshot of it all is that in the end, they don’t even need to censor us anymore -- we have been conditioned into censoring ourselves.

(Not to mention that all it does is drive problematic content underground. A platform that formally bans, say, rape content isn’t actually going to be free of rape content, it just means that creators aren’t going to properly tag for it anymore, because that would get it insta-deleted/banned. And now users who would like to avoid it can’t.)

Honestly, AO3 is a breath of fresh air in the current internet landscape, and so when I see people say that they "don't like AO3--" that is a red fuckin’ flag to me. How, pray tell, is AO3 insufficiently woke for you?

...

....BUT, on the other hand, the phrase "live and let ship" often gets wielded to demand that problematic content not just be free from harassment and censorship, but also free from criticism, and -- hoo buddy, I think not. 🙃 No, actually, I am not going to shut up about how I think your fav is shitty and toxic. You don't have to come onto my blog and see it -- and I would not dream of going onto someone else’s blog and starting shit, srsly, just stay in your own lane -- but this is my space, to do with as I want, and I am going to stand on my soapbox and nail the list of their sins to the church door.

Because the antis’ position (as I understand it), is 1) the fear that fiction about fucked-up content will either encourage/enable more people to do those fucked-up things IRL, and 2) the belief that anyone who writes about fucked-up content is endorsing that behavior. But the response that gets trotted out to that is "lol what idiots, they think people can't tell the difference between fiction and reality!" and arguing that there's no harm in people writing whatever weird and fucked-up stuff they like, because it's just a story.

My dudes -- I cannot convey to you how disingenuous "it's just a story" is.

We, humans, are so massively influenced by the stories around us. No, fiction isn’t reality -- no actual humans were harmed by the whumping of blorbos -- but we often look to it as if it were, and, consciously or not, often model ourselves after the patterns we see in stories. Fiction tells us what kind of behavior is acceptable or unacceptable; what men/women are “supposed” to be like; what ~those people~ are like. We internalize so much of what we see in media, without necessarily recognizing that these are someone else’s opinions being implanted into our heads, nor recognizing when we reenact those behaviors ourselves. As the kids say: You are not immune to propaganda.

When toxic and abusive relationships are being held up as the height of romance, that has real world consequences.

(That said, Hollywood’s rancid takes on race/sex/relationship dynamics have done infinitely more damage than even the most Problematique fanfic in existence. That is where the influence and impact is, so maybe let's point our guns at the real enemy instead of at each other, yeah?)

And proshippers will say "don't like, don't read," but it's not quite as simple as that. Indeed, I personally do not like [redacted ship], and therefore I don’t read it -- but we also need to be free to talk about the things we don't like, and why. When we see something that makes us go "hey wow that's kinda fucked up,” we need to be able to have that conversation without being told "then just don't read it! you’re being an asshole and a killjoy by spoiling it for the people who DO like it!"

Friends, I am not interested in spoiling anyone’s enjoyment of anything.

You can write and consume problematic content without being a problematic person. Fiction is not reality; you are hurting no one by hurting blorbo, or by enjoying watching blorbo being hurt, or by imagining your blorbos in a relationship that is, strictly speaking, somewhat less than healthy.

But you do need to be aware of what it is you're consuming -- and therefore unconsciously internalizing -- and honestly, AO3 is far better about this than mainstream media.

Part of the beauty of AO3′s tagging system is that it allows the creator to give a meta framing for the story, that may not be visible within the text itself. Take, for instance, how many, many people over the decades have somehow misread Lolita as ~a story of forbidden love~, but if Nabokov had been posting it on AO3, I guarantee you he would have tagged it with rape/noncon elements, pedophilia, child sexual abuse, grooming. He’s on record saying that Lolita is a horror story told from the point of view of the monster.

There is a world of difference between a story that knows it’s fucked up, and a story that doesn’t. The latter is What We Need To Talk About; the former, assuming it’s been properly tagged, is honestly a lot less harmful.

Depiction isn’t necessarily glorification. Oftentimes when people are writing about something fucked up, it’s to shine a light on that and go, HEY WOW, SO THIS IS PRETTY FUCKED UP, HUH? Whenever you see a fic with the tag “Dark [Blorbo]”, for instance, that is an explicit acknowledgment that Blorbo’s actions in this story are not alright. It is, once again, fiction telling us what kind of behavior is socially acceptable, and the message in darkfic is “...and this is NOT!”

So yeah.

I don’t know what the answer is, but I do know that trying to suppress criticism and/or problematic content isn’t it. Nor is turning criticism into personal attacks. If you have an issue with a particular character, or a particular ship, by all means, get on your soapbox and start preaching. That’s what meta is. But take aim at the subject matter, not the individual fan creators who get a kick out of it.

And also just -- don't be a dick. Nothing in fandom is worth harming actual other people for.

Anyway, now that I’ve pissed off everyone on both sides, time to kick back with a nice relaxing glass of 4Loko. Cheers y’all. ✌

#tw: rape #tw: abuse #asks

[anamericangirl]

I’m not lgbt but I have tattoos, piercings, and very short hair for a woman, and I’ve gotten a lot of comments and remarks from Christian’s about my appearance. Not all of the remarks have been related to religion or “that’s not how a lady should look”, but also things like “you should take your piercings out so you can get a job.” It’s all been based on assumptions. I saved up my own money, earned from my job, to get my tattoos and piercings. None of my tattoos are inappropriate and most of them aren’t visible. I have my ears pierced, multiple times on both sides, and one lip piercing that’s a small ring because I don’t like big jewelry, and a belly button piercing which is always covered by my shirt. How anyone can gather that it’s inappropriate for a woman in some way or another is ridiculous to me. My mom is a Christian and she has plenty of Christian friends, and they made some pretty snide remarks of my choices to get tattoos and piercings, to which my mom said “she’s an adult, she can do what she wants”, and her friends thought that she didn’t like my tattoos when she had to say “I like them but it’s not my business, she’s not getting anything inappropriate so who cares”. I know this is just how some people are but it hasn’t made it easy in whether I want to go to church or not because of those types of people. If I’m unwelcome for the way I look then why would I want to go at all or be around them? If looking different gets people judged then I can only imagine being lgbt within a church like that is difficult, or being “more of a sinner” to them is just like hell. Thank you for speaking up about how some Christian’s can be. I know it’s not all of them, I know some very lovely Christian’s and they’re sweet and caring, but some of them have their head in their ass.

Exactly! Many Christians can be so judgmental for the smallest things that aren't even issues, like tattoos and piercings. And it's just because of how they translate a specific Bible verse. It's like if they interpret piercings and tattoos and lgbt as sins, then it's especially bad because it's a sin they can see and they think that means they need to judge and shame people for it. But they miss the whole point of the Bible when they do that. Because even if those things are sinful to God, the idea is we're all sinners and the church should be a place we feel welcome to go - as sinners - to get help or be part of a community and get encouragement to submit to God but, like you said, if we're just going to judge, condemn, and criticize people for what we understand to be sins then not only do we not make people want to come to church or seek out God, we make them actively hate the idea of it.

I have someone in my immediate family who is like that. Thinks tattoos and piercings are sins and I couldn't so much as have my ears pierced until I got old enough to decide I was just going to do it anyway. When my sister got engaged he wouldn't even talk to her now husband for the longest time. Just because he has tattoos. And I don't understand people who categorize sins that way and make their sins ok and acceptable to still be a good Christian but things like tattoos are at the top.

And I can't stand it. When I see people do that I'm just like "how are you judging someone for having tattoos (which is honestly perfectly ok) when you lied to your friend just the other day?" Lying is actually a sin. It's breaking one of the Ten Commandments so if they're going to treat someone that way for tattoos and piercings then they need to judge themselves that way too.

Thank you for sharing this with me. I think it's really important for people to know that the way Christians act probably has the biggest influence on how someone feels towards God and Christianity.

#anon #answered

[dropintomanga]

The Joy of Hobbies As Hobbies

I finished reading a book called “Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals” by Oliver Burkeman recently and it made me think about why I write.

The book is basically a “shots fired” book at productivity and conventional advice aimed to optimize people’s lives. There was a part in the book where it talks about the power of hobbies in the face of constant life-hacks. Burkeman said something about why many productivity experts can’t comprehend hobbies. They look as hobbies as things with no concrete goals/achievements.

But as Burkeman (and I would say the same too) argues, that’s the point of hobbies. You do things without worrying for anyone’s approval.

I know there’s many fans who want to use their love of anime/manga to make money somehow. To be fair, I think it’s fine to go for it. But I would argue that if you’re not able to put up with certain tastes outside of your own, you’re not going to get very far. People talk about passion and how it’s all you need. Anyone trying to make a “side/full-time hustle” out of their fandom has to learn how to talk to people, do things that they may not want/need to do, accept constructive feedback/criticism (even when it hurts), and manage a bunch of relationships that can get complicated fast. The ones who are really good at it have mastered these things.

Anything involving making money requires more than just passion, which dies really fast and unexpectedly when faced with challenges. It’s no different than work. There have been studies that show how the “follow your passion” advice can be harmful.

What I’m trying to say is that in the face of making hobbies as side hustles, it’s okay for a hobby to be just a hobby. I’m concerned with this obsession of “personal branding” to stand out. It just slowly turns people into potential pawns waiting to be manipulated when the time is right. I noticed this with Twitch streamers voicing their concerns over Twitch not caring about anyone’s mental health/burnout. You have people who aren’t acting in their best interest using “self-help” and “positive psychology” to make earnest individuals feel that the blame is totally on them.

I once felt like I had to try hard all the time even when I failed. When I started the blog as Manga Therapy, I was influenced by a social media expert to start blogging as a way to make money. Their advice was just write, talk to fans on forums, go on Twitter, spend a lot of time on the computer, etc. I was even told to put ads on my blog. I always refused though because ads provide unnecessary clutter. I also went through this SEO phase where I was obsessed with keywords, backlinks, rankings, etc. All that SEO stuff (most of it is bullshit though).

I’m trying to figure out when it was that made me go “It’s okay to write just because you want to write.” I never thought about starting a Patreon or Ko-Fi account. Maybe I just worry that when I start writing for money, I’ll lose a part of myself in the process. I once felt this way when trying out for a writing opportunity for a major gaming site. I’ve become a blunt person and more “devil’s advocate” about certain things in recent years. Plus, I think I’m getting better with just enjoying my fandom for what it is.

I have no desire to be weaponized by anime/manga communities in results-oriented drama. In the end of the day, a job (even if it’s in the anime and manga industries) is still a job at heart. Even the most exciting aspects will be mixed in with moments of dullness and interpersonal BS you need to deal with.  

Maybe it sounds like I’m tired of victim-blaming. That’s why I'm encouraging treating hobbies as just hobbies because there’s already enough victim-blaming out already. And more importantly, hobbies are a form of meaningful rest. They are an amazing way to escape the bombardment of comparisons. We aren’t built to be people who can do everything possible within our lifetime in an optimal manner to the satisfaction of society.

Hobbies, in a way, are a firm reminder that we’re all just amateurs who have to do things without any need for approval. Read manga for the sake of reading for yourself. Watch anime for the sake of watching for yourself. Write fanfiction, draw fanart, make cosplay, etc. While it’s nice to share your interests with other fans, what’s also important is developing a love within yourself to enjoy anime/manga in a way that delivers genuine joy and inner peace - things that productivity advice will never truly deliver to you.

To sound like some wise anime/manga character, we’re not supposed to be perfect and once you accept that, your mind becomes a lot clearer and healthier. There’s a joy to be had in relishing that acceptance.

#hobby #mental health #amateurism #joy #fandom

[faroreswinds]

On the topic of contradicting narrative and lore in Houses/Hopes, that the other anon brought up: I don't wanna offense anyone but suggesting that we should ignore all contradicting information just to accept "Church bad" and not think about it further seems to easy for me. Ofc anyone should enjoy games like they want to and some things are left to interpretation, so it's ok to come to different conclusions on some things. But I think it doesn't hurt to be skeptical, especially when a game [1]

[3] supplies routes from different perspectives of people who don't speak to each other, or at least not in attempt of any diplomacy. Sometimes you stumble upon things in one route that you as a player know aren't true bc you played the other routes and know more about the other's motivation than the cast. And that also applies to the Church and Rhea, who never get even one explicit quote in which she tells us how she really thinks about any change in Fodlan. That's why after all this time [2]

[3] peope still argue about Edelgard, Rhea, Dimitri and now Claude, too. Who is right, who is wrong, bla bla. Maybe none of them are. Maybe it's left contradicting and ambiguous intentionally, so people can come to their own interpretation/conclusion and so that no one has the feeling of rooting for the "wrong" side, wether you love the Church, the Eagles, the Lions or the Deers. And honestly? Not even the narrative in Hopes sold me on "Church bad/needs to go". It still feels like El is waging

[4] her war to conquer all of Fodlan to bring the change she wishes for. The Church is part of what needs to change and also a scapegoat for the bigger unification plan. Claude is using her war for his own gain, oppurtinistic as he is. And Dimitri just tries to protect Faerghus and his people, no matter what. Rhea... exists in this game, that's all you can say lol - so yeah, the Church needs to change, like all of Fodlan. Do we need a continet-wide war and Rhea's death for that? Not so sure.

You bring up a lot of good points, anon.

but suggesting that we should ignore all contradicting information just to accept "Church bad" and not think about it further seems to easy for me

That was exactly my problem. It was just “accepting what you are told despite all the evidence otherwise” that bothers me. Why would I accept what the story is telling me if the supporting evidence just doesn’t work?

Take Rings of Power. The narrative tells me that Galadriel is an awesome, strong female warrior who should be rooted for and well respected. But all the rest of the evidence shows me a whiny, teenage brat who nearly kills her allies and forces everyone to give her what she wants. I cannot stand RoP Galadriel, yet the narrative clearly wants me to love her. It does not recognize that her actions are atrocious. In fact, it celebrates and rewards them. 

Just accepting what something wants you to believe is lazy. That attitude encourages consumption of media without critical thinking. Just consume. Don’t think.

But I think it doesn't hurt to be skeptical, especially when a game [1] supplies routes from different perspectives of people who don't speak to each other, or at least not in attempt of any diplomacy. Sometimes you stumble upon things in one route that you as a player know aren't true bc you played the other routes and know more about the other's motivation than the cast.

Yes! This is called “Dramatic irony”, when the audience knows something the characters don’t. Dramatic irony can be great because it can build suspense, either positively or negative.

You know that character is the murderer. But the guy waltzing around with the murderer doesn’t know. You bite your nails. Will the murderer kill him?

Or you know that the girl has a crush on the other girl. But the other girl doesn’t know. Oh man, will she tell her? How long must I wait? Oh, the suspense! 

Hopes and Houses has dramatic irony and does.... nothing with it. In fact, it acts as if it doesn’t even have it. If I played AG first, then played GW (without Houses context), then I will know that the stuff about Rhea forcing people to follow her religion or trying to keep out foreigners doesn’t make sense! And I’m waiting for the GD crew to figure that out. So suddenly go “Oh shit, we were wrong! Wait, Rhea is a dragon? There is a even bigger threat at hand?!”

But that never happens. The game just pretends that you just don’t know AG’s side, and you are dragged through the mud watching your characters not only be ignorant, but even stupid. 

It still feels like El is waging her war to conquer all of Fodlan to bring the change she wishes for. The Church is part of what needs to change and also a scapegoat for the bigger unification plan. Claude is using her war for his own gain, oppurtinistic as he is. And Dimitri just tries to protect Faerghus and his people, no matter what. Rhea... exists in this game, that's all you can say lol

I mean like... pretty much. Lol

#anon asks #Three Houses discourse

[bardic-inspo]

Anders (DA:A or DA2, you pick) for the character bingo :D

Ohhhh boy okay, right for jugular! A big big disclaimer: I have literally zero problem with folks who like and enjoy Anders and actively encourage my friends who do enjoy him to keep enjoying him (one of my dearest friends is a big big fan of him). I do not judge anyone for enjoying him. But, this is gonna be Anders critical. If that's not something you want to see, that's totally fine, I'm giving a heads up now. He is a very complicated character I have complicated feelings about.

I'm going with DA2 Anders because I've only played Awakening once. It's also worth mentioning, I've played a Dragon Age based D&D campaign for years that is currently in late Act 2 of the DA2 plot.

Also, CW for minor/brief mention of non-physical abuse.

Anders was my first DA2 romance and I got really really swept up in it. At the end of it, I had a sort of...melancholy, which isn't quite the right word, but it's close. I felt like I'd participated in an abusive relationship, one full of guilt and gaslighting, and the potential threat of violence. Those first two are things that were wielded against me on a regular basis as a kid. And in sticking with him, I felt I sort of...relegated myself to it. There was not a good moment in the game that I felt I got to really address those qualms or where Anders truly accepted responsibility for it. After sort of mulling on that for a while, I decided my canon Hawke stuck with him right until the point of leaving Kirkwall, and at that point made it clear the relationship was over, and they went their separate ways. (Hehe, I tend to ship her with just about everyone in her post-game, but I tend to favor her OT3ing with Isabela and Fenris).

It's really important to me to express, I do think there are ways and choices you can make to view that relationship differently. To each their own. I think he is a fascinating character from a narrative/writer perspective and I am glad he is in the series. I feel like fan discourse, at least what I've been exposed to (and I should say, I actively avoid it and avoid most Anders content) makes him out to be a little too black and white.....so often any conversation about him just boils down to what he did with the Chantry, as if that's the only choice he's ever made that could have a moral judgment. This is why I marked "done dirty by fans". Most of my dislike for Anders has little to do with the Chantry event itself, but the lead up to it/events preceding it.

I've also had personal experiences with friends making real life corollaries between real world events/politics and Anders as a sort of rebel figure standing for justice and, as a result, draw conclusions on my political views (and my partner's views) based only on my/my partner's dislike for Anders without even asking either of us (or really caring) why it was we didn't like him. So it's not really a judgment on the character, but that has permanently soured him for me, and basically made me never seek out any content related to him.

[Send in a character for opinion bingo]

#I'm not gonna tag this too much #I'm not trying to start anything it's just my personal feelings on him #ask memes

[kirwell]

my advice to the writers out there

I'm writing this instead of my book right now,, cause intrusive thoughts

I’m someone who likes to look around for writing advice to get new perspectives and helpful tips and ideas from other writers.  But sometimes I’d hunt around for validation from videos to see if I was “doing things right” with my own book, and I can’t tell ya how damaging that’s been for me in the past on my writing journey.

While taking advice and constructive criticism is good and progressive and can help you see things from another perspective to better your writing, I also can’t stress enough to take things with a grain of salt when it comes to other people's opinions on genres and tropes.

Has someone else written something like my story before? Probably yeah. 

Are there tropes in my story that have already been in other books/other media? Oh yeah, I don't doubt it.

Are some people tired of seeing certain themes and settings in stories? Sure. Everyone is into different things. 

Does that mean my story shouldn’t be written at all, and I should just write something else instead? Hell fuckin no, yo !

I love my story because I’m telling it the way I WANT in my own style, my own characters, and with my own messages that I want to tell. Putting your heart and soul into your writing is a real thing ya’ll, and that will stand out. 

I love high fantasy stories with medieval themes, magic, fantastical worldbuilding, great adventures, and grand quests with a party of characters I can love and relate to.  I love wizards, elves, fairies, demons, and all the things you imagine when you hear “classic fantasy.”  That genre has always inspired me and brought out the most creative side of me. 

So when some people say, “Don’t write that,” or “Don’t write this,” because it’s been touched upon before and nobody wants to read that anymore, it would bum the hell outta me. 

So should I NOT write my own story and share it because a part of it fits into a familiar trope within the genre? Does that mean my story shouldn’t ever be read and that it’s inherently not good?

If you have a story to tell, and you wanna tell it, then write it! It’s your book, it’s your story, it’s your characters, and you’re allowed to enjoy what you’ve created. 

Take constructive criticism, be flexible, and be open to learning and changing, like you would with any other skill. I wouldn’t be where I’m at in my writing capability today if I had never listened to advice and practiced over and over again.

But don’t let anyone take away your creativity!

Changing the whole theme of your story because it may not appeal to some readers or publishers is the most ridiculous, damaging thing I’ve heard. There will always be people who won’t wanna read what you’ve written, or publishers who aren't interested, and that’s okay. That’s to be expected with anything creative.  But if you like something, write it, and don’t let others say you shouldn’t. It’s damn near impossible to be 100% original in every aspect of your story and avoid every single used trope, if that’s even possible to do anymore these days. Trying to be perfect will drive you insane.

Personally, the more you try to “change this” and “change that” in order to check off your originality boxes, the less happy you’ll be with your work. That's been my experience, at least. I went through a lotta versions of my book to fit what writers in their videos were telling me it should be in order to be accepted and appreciated, and I wasn’t happy with any of it and felt really stuck.

Try and find the right kinds of videos and communities that’ll inspire you, encourage you, and help ya in places where you’re falling short.  Some channels can really suck out all of your creativity and make you second-guess everything you’ve created, wondering if your story will ever be good enough.

A setting where a character or a group has to go on an adventure to fulfill a certain goal is something I really like, and to be told that specific trope is dull and overdone was discouraging on a whole other level. Why should I write this if nobody even wants to read it?

I’ve had to stop watching channels in the past because this idea was preached so much and I believed it, and it was depressing reading comments who felt the same as me.

“I gotta rewrite my whole story now.” “Oh no, my story is like this!” “Guess I shouldn’t write about that in my story.” 

Please don’t give up on your stories because of personal opinions on a genre or a trope! We all have opinions, likes, dislikes, and prefer different things. Nothing is set in stone. 

For me, a story is about the journey and what the characters go through and how they make me feel. If you wanna write a vampire love story with witches and werewolves and a love triangle, go for it! If you wanna write a story about a school for magical creatures in a fantasy world, go for it!

Make a story YOURS and don’t be afraid to tell it! Someone out there will love what you’ve made and it’ll inspire them just like you were inspired. Write for YOU and for all those people who love what you love and will wanna read the fuck outta your book! 

,,I hope this was actually useful advice for someone out there. Cause this is something I wish someone would have told me years ago. Now go write and have fun with it ! 

#I hope this helps somebody out there #writer advice I wish someone gave me years ago #is any of this coherent? #I feel like im giving salty vibes here- but I don't mean to #just wanna encourage people to write what they love #and not get to swept away by others opinions #ya feel? #writer rant #writer problems #writing advice #writeblr #creative writing #fiction writing