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punksocks · 5 months

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Astrology Observations No.26

(Just based on my opinions, only take what resonates)

-Aquarius mars can denote a career around trends, tech, and social media. It can also denote your career taking off during times of social progress or spearheading social progress. (John Boyega’s career took off when he became the face of a much more diverse Star Wars, and a lot of his most celebrated roles have a social consciousness to them, pretty great if I do say so myself)

-Virgo venus gets the reputation of being picky in relationships (and they are) but I feel like Sagittarius Venus can be more fickle. Virgo Venus natives have a set of standards and attributes they’re looking for, but Sagittarius Venus natives will put you on a pedestal then knock you off of it when you do something they don’t like.

-Underdeveloped Gemini Venus will ghost you in the middle of a crisis (man Pisces Venus too, but they may feel bad about it lol)

-When it comes to a sense of justice, I feel as though (developed) Scorpio moons give everyone a run for their money

-I feel like Aquarius in big 3 (sun, moon, rising) can often find themselves being forced to be humanitarian/being made to work toward the greater good in some situations (to lend others money, to take care of friends/family, to befriend someone lonely, etc.) I feel like these placements often can be forced to give more of themselves than they are comfortable with (developed ones will often find a great sense of joy in connecting with others through care though)

-On the other hand I feel like Leo in the big 3 can find themselves being forced to pay attention to themselves/become the center of attention (elevated at a job for their hard work, given unexpected attention for a talent, etc.) With Leo placements I notice that in their home life or childhood they may not receive the attention they need, but early on they get attention from outsiders. So they end up going through this arch of getting more comfortable with their sense of self and being in the spotlight.

-Aries placements can often be the first in their family to do something (go to college, start a business, etc) without more long term oriented placements things like businesses may not last though

-Virgo/Gemini/3rd/6th house placements and having an absolute weakness for stationary lol (I have a 3rd house Stellium and I have to force myself not to buy a sketchbook or notebook every time I’m out, with a 40% success rate lol)

-I always expect Libra placements (especially sun/Asc/Venus/mars) to have a very blonde/fair/delicate features naturally but a lot of Libras have this gothic look, like raven hair ivory skin classic beauty (and a lot of PoC I follow with Libra placements can be much darker skinned, which is also a beautifully classic look)

-I think Jupiter and Saturn count towards your personality, but since they’re slower moving planets I view them as the bridge between the asc/sun/moon/mercury/Venus/mars placements that really directly define your personality and the generational planets that show up in traits across people in your age range (but effect everyone differently because of house placements and aspects)

-Do a lot of people get sick during Scorpio season? Or is it just me ?? (During the last week of Scorpio season like 6 people I knew got sick at the same time and I had a medical thing, wtf it’s uncanny)

-I think Neptune in Capricorn is a big reason that depression became such a focal point for younger millennials and elder gen z- well that and late stage capitalism but yknow. (Capricorns being prone to depression, and Neptune ruling over mental illness)

-You may show more of the traits of the sign in your 12th house when inebriated (like sun in 12th may be more outgoing when they drink, moon in 12th may be more introverted/emotional, mercury in 12th may be more chatty and inquisitive, Venus in 12th may be more charming/romantic, mars in 12th may be more aggressive/antagonistic/s*xual)

-Mars in 12th/Pisces mars may find that unresolved tension sits on their subconscious and makes it hard for them to do other tasks

-Cancer over the houses can show where you feel at home (cancer in the 4th is super loyal to their family/mother, cancer in the 7th means you feel at home with a nurturing partner, cancer in the 9th means you feel at home abroad and traveling and with other communities or with religion, cancer in 11th means you feel super at home with your friends.)

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novlr · 1 month

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Hi, how do you write a healthy sibling relationship?

I have a really bad one and I want my characters to get along, but still fight sometimes

Any help would be great

Sibling relationships are the first and often the most enduring bonds we form in life. They shape our identities, define our roles in the family, and teach us how to love, fight, forgive, and grow alongside another person.

For writers, capturing the intricacies of sibling dynamics can infuse stories with authenticity, depth, and emotional resonance that keeps readers turning pages. Here are some tips for how to write healthy sibling relationships:

Make them unique characters

Establish each sibling’s unique personality and role.

Give each sibling their own distinct personality, interests, strengths, and flaws.

Show how their personalities complement and contrast with each other.

Establish the roles and dynamics between the siblings (leader, peacemaker, rebel, etc.).

Avoid stereotypes and allow the siblings’ personalities to evolve over time.

Develop each sibling’s unique voice and communication style.

Give them contrasting but complementary skills and strengths.

Develop their relationship over time

Show how the siblings’ relationship strengthens as they grow up and go through life changes. Maybe they grow apart for a while but then reconnect later in life.

Give their relationship a story arc, showing how their bond matures and changes over the course of the story.

Explore how the siblings navigate major life events together, like the birth of a new sibling, a family move, losing a loved one, or a parent’s divorce.

Depict milestones and rites of passage where the siblings support or challenge each other, like learning to drive, graduating high school, starting college or a career.

Show how the siblings’ communication and conflict resolution skills improve (or deteriorate) over time. Perhaps they learn to express their feelings more openly, fight more fairly, or establish healthier boundaries as they mature.

Give them shared history and inside jokes

Build strong backstories into their characters with shared childhood experiences.

Show them laughing over inside jokes and funny memories only they understand.

Use shared history to show their bond, even when they’re fighting.

Have the siblings reference shared childhood possessions or special objects like a beloved stuffed animal they both cherished or a secret hideout only they knew about.

Show the siblings using a private language, code words, or shared vocabulary that only they understand.

Have them reminisce about funny or embarrassing childhood stories.

Let them learn from each other

Show the siblings teaching each other important life lessons.

Have them learn from each other’s mistakes and successes.

Show how the siblings challenge each other to step outside their comfort zones and try new things.

Depict moments where the siblings offer each other wise advice or a fresh perspective on a problem, demonstrating how well they understand and support one another.

Show how the siblings inspire each other to pursue their passions and dreams.

Depict the siblings’ learning to appreciate their differences and see them as strengths

Show unwavering loyalty and love

Depict the siblings standing up for each other in the face of adversity or conflict. They have each other’s backs, no matter what.

Portray the siblings making sacrifices for each other’s happiness or well-being.

Show the siblings being there for each other during tough times, like heartbreak, illness, or failure. Highlight how they offer comfort, encouragement, and unconditional support.

Illustrate the siblings’ fierce protectiveness of each other. Show them defending each other against bullies, naysayers, or anyone who threatens their bond.

Depict the siblings forgiving each other after arguments or misunderstandings. Show how their love helps them overcome hurt feelings and find understanding.

Portray the siblings expressing their love and appreciation for each other through both big gestures and small, everyday acts of kindness.

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raine-kai · 7 months

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How Much Ace Loved Luffy (and so does Sabo, but this is mostly about Ace)

I have been suffering from the worst One Piece brainrot. Seriously, I cannot think about anything else without bring it back to One Piece, which is particularly unfortunate this month when my schedule is completely nuts.

(A few days ago, I was reading a scientific paper and I saw the word "doctrine" and went "omg Dr. Kureha??? Why is this paper mentioning One Piece?"—it's that bad.)

The thing I have been thinking about the most is Luffy's relationship with his brothers.

First off, I would like to say that I vehemently disagree with the take that Sabo is just Ace 2.0. While the relay of their stories can make them feel that way on an emotional level, exacerbated by Sabo succeeding Ace with the flame-flame fruit powers, I think Oda has done an excellent job showing that they are very distinct not only in personality, but in their relationships with Luffy.

Ace was always the first brother.

He's the one who knows Garp just as well as Luffy. He's the one introduced to Luffy through Garp. He's the one Luffy initially attaches himself to. He's the one who was there all through Luffy's childhood and adolescence, who can do a handstand on Luffy's head with no explanation, knowing that Luffy can hold him and knowing that Luffy will understand exactly what he is telling Luffy to do.

Ace was also always the most self-deprecating brother. When he was arrested, his first and only request was that nobody tell Luffy about it. When talking to Jinbei, he tells him that he would have worried Luffy couldn't live without him, but having seen his crew, he knows that Luffy will be okay.

When Luffy hears that Ace is in trouble, his first reaction is that Ace has his own adventures, and that Ace will be angry if he drops everything to chase after Ace. But when he is told that Ace is in Impel Down and his execution day is already scheduled, he drops everything, including reuniting with his crew, to sneak into the highest security prison in the world to try to break out his brother.

Meanwhile, Sabo is the kind brother.

If Ace was aware of how codependent Luffy was with him and tried to utilize tough love to push Luffy away, he's also always been the most inclined to bicker and trade mockery and insults with Luffy. Meanwhile, Sabo has always been more inclined to be concerned for Luffy, and use positive reinforcement to help Luffy improve. When Ace and Luffy were at odds, Sabo was often the mediator.

Sabo and Ace have known each other longer than either of them has known Luffy, but their relationship as brothers exists because of Luffy. As Sabo pointed out in his farewell letter to Ace, they never even defined what kind of brother they were (a thing that has more significance in Japanese, where big brother/younger brother are terms far more common than the neutral "kyoudai", which translates to elder-brother-younger-brother, and can often denote a non-blood relationship).

Luffy is their crybaby weakling baby brother, and they are both willing to throw everything aside if they are worried that Luffy might be in trouble. Not once in the story have Ace or Sabo showed up without stepping in to rescue Luffy somehow.

But today, the rescue that sticks in my brain is the most painful one of all: the death of Portgas D. Ace.

In a world full of people who exposit about the honor and dignity of a death with a back unmarked by scars, Ace dies with his back to Akainu, whose fist goes right through the tattoo proclaiming Ace's loyalty to Whitebeard.

Whitebeard's significance in Ace's life was huge.

With Ace's anger issues rooted in a childhood of being told he should never have existed, his arc is about learning that yes, he deserved to exist—he deserved to live.

And while Luffy's love, Luffy declaring how much he needed Ace, provided something of a salvation, some kind of purpose, it was not enough. Because Ace was trying to teach Luffy to be self-sufficient—was trying to help him to grow up into a man who wouldn't need Ace. Even at the very end, as he thanks Luffy for loving him, he describes himself with self-deprecation.

Being needed wasn't enough. Ace needed Whitebeard, because he needed a parent figure whom he could believe loved him, for whom he was enough. His relationship with Dadan was too utilitarian: he brought her food, and she let him stick around. His relationship with Garp was too marked with the conflict born of Garp's stated wish for Ace and Luffy to become marines. Whitebeard was the first person to embrace Ace exactly as he was and call him his son, and never expect him to be or do anything else.

Ace is genuinely surprised at the war that is waged to save his life.

Not only does he not expect Luffy to show up, he doesn't even expect Whitebeard to show up.

Regarding Whitebeard, Ace sees his actions as his own failure. He did not listen when Whitebeard told him to let Blackbeard go. His own failure to heed his father's cautionary words should not be cause for his father to wage war on the marine headquarters, he thinks.

But when Luffy turns up, Ace shouts at him—exactly as Luffy had predicted. He demands to know what Luffy thinks he's doing, weakling that he is. That Ace has his own adventures and his own pirate crew, and he doesn't need Luffy to come too.

"I'm your little brother," says Luffy in response, and I always start tearing up at that line, in manga or anime.

As far as Luffy is concerned, losing Ace is not an option.

And that one line is all it takes to make Ace back off. To remember that yes—Luffy is still his little brother, though they each have their own crews now.

The Marineford War is so full of moments where Luffy shows himself to be capable of so much more than anybody expected was possible.

But of course we all know how it ends. Luffy is the one to free Ace, but he's also the one who doesn't notice how vulnerable he is to the charging Akainu.

And Ace takes the blow intended for Luffy with his back—right in the tattoo declaring his alliance to Whitebeard.

I can't stop thinking about the significance of this.

All Ace had ever been searching for—family, belonging, purpose, acknowledgement that he was wanted—he got from Whitebeard, who was his parent in a way that nobody ever was, breaking through his insecurities about his parentage in a way that surely only got through to Ace because Whitebeard is someone who personally knew Roger. In a world without Luffy, Whitebeard and his crew would have been Ace's salvation.

But we don't live in that world. We don't know if Ace would have made it long enough to join Whitebeard in a world without Luffy.

What Ace tells us in the way that he shielded Luffy from Akainu was that Luffy was worth more to him than everything he got from Whitebeard and everyone on that crew. That he loved Luffy above and beyond all others.

And he thanked Luffy (and Whitebeard and his crew) for loving him.

I'm sure there has been ample discourse on the significance of these things. I'm pretty sure I've read, if not participated in it. But having circled back here recently, I feel like I'm discovering the significance all anew.

Ace said thank you for loving me and not I love you because he saw more value in being loved than his own love. Surely it would have been more comforting to Luffy to hear that he was loved—but Ace is caught up in the idea that he is demonspawn, not worth existing, much less being loved.

With how much he talks about Luffy to everyone he meets, surely in a world where he did not have cause to question his existence, where he did not grow up knowing that the world wished him dead, he would have been happy to just exist with the brothers he loved. He would not have felt he needed to prove that he deserved to exist.

Meanwhile, though Luffy idealizes pirates from an earlier point in the story, their backstory shows us that Luffy's desire to grow stronger originates in learning how Sabo "died". And Ace supports this narrative that Luffy ought to grow stronger, more self-sufficient.

At Luffy's core is simply love: a desire to hold his loved ones close, to be strong enough to never lose them again.

But he lost Ace anyway.

And Ace just wanted Luffy to be safe—to go on without him. His only regret, he said, was that he wouldn't be around to see the end of Luffy's dream.

Ace, at his core, just wanted to be loved. And he had that, but was not able to accept it, to believe that he deserved it, until the very end.

And isn't that just heartbreaking?

I believe that it was Ace's spirit, realizing Sabo was still alive, who knocked the memory back into him, screaming at him what the hell has he been doing, go protect and support their baby brother.

I believe Ace still lives on in Luffy, who will never stop loving the brother who all but raised him.

But I need to cry about it anyway. Again.

#one piece #portgas d. ace #monkey d. luffy #asl brothers #sabo #marineford

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wixhing0nastar · 1 year

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Abuse Narratives in RWBY: Yang Xiao Long Edition (Feat. Ruby Rose)

We've all witnessed and talked about Blake and Weiss being abuse survivors for years. Blake escaping from Adam and Weiss escaping from her father were both huge, impactful events that have shaped the narrative of the story in many ways.

Yang on the other hand has managed to fly mostly under the radar with the abuse she's suffered up to this point. Her jokey, happy-go-lucky facade tricking the audience just as well as it has her friends and family for years.

(Note: this is going to be a long post, so strap in. Also this is your warning I am not going to be holding back in my criticism of Tai, so if you don't want to see me go into detail about how exactly he abused Yang, I highly suggest turning back now).

TL:DR: Yang was neglected and parentified (aka: abused) as a child and that’s the root of a lot of the issues that she’s currently struggling with in Volume 9 and a large part of her healing is going to be centered around her relationship with Blake going forward.

Let's start by establishing what exactly I'm referring to when I say that Yang has been abused. Because while I'm certainly referring to her being neglected after Summer's death, I'm more so referring to the years of Parentification that was caused by said neglect (in addition to the verbal and emotional abuse hurled her way).

Let's start by defining what exactly Parentification is since it's where most of Yang's current problems stem from.

[Parentification is] a disturbance in the generational boundaries, such that evidence indicates a functional and/or emotional role reversal in which the child sacrifices his or her own needs for attention, comfort, and guidance in order to accommodate and care for the logistical and emotional needs of a parent and/or sibling. (Hooper, 2007b, p. 323)

Ruby establishes in Volume 9, Chapter 1 that Yang was the one who raised her. It's important to note that in the context of her saying that, she's telling Yang that Yang was the one responsible for her moral development as a kid.

Research has shown that the building blocks for morality are generally in place by the age of 4. However, "children need adults to help them at every stage of childhood to nurture these seeds into full development." (Harvard, Raising Caring, Respectful, Ethical Children, p. 1) With "childhood" commonly considered infancy to age 12.

Using this we can reasonably assume that Yang was Ruby's primary caretaker or at the very least co-parenting with Tai from the time of Summer's death to at least age 14 (when Ruby was 12)... which mind you, is already over a decade total and only three years before the show starts.

Now that we've got some of the science out of the way, let's start looking at the show itself to see just how bad the situation was.

Burning the Candle

This iconic scene actually paints a fairly horrifying picture of Yang and Ruby's early childhood when you start to break it down.

I waited for dad to leave the house.

Meaning that by that point, probably only a few months after Summer's death based on the timeline Yang establishes, Yang already knows Tai will reliably leave her and Ruby alone without supervision for extended periods of time in order to pull this off.

I must have walked for hours.

Meaning that it likely took several hours for someone to even notice they were missing in the first place. The fact Qrow knew exactly where they were indicates that Yang either left a note or clue about where they were headed and I'm willing to bet the only reason it took Yang that long to walk was because she was like two feet tall at the time (since Patch is like... a tiny island... which brings me to the next line...

A toddler asleep in the back of a wagon

Again, to clarify, Ruby was a toddler. Toddlers are between 1-3 years old... meaning this all happened when Yang was a maximum of (and likely, based on their physical appearances) 5 years old.

So to summarize, Tai was regularly leaving Yang, his five-year-old, home alone and in charge of her three-year-old sister... which would be horrifying to think about on its own but this is Remnant.

Which means that Tai was regularly leaving his grieving five-year-old at home alone when they didn't live inside a kingdom's border and there were known wild Grimm in the area... who are attracted to negative emotions.

Wow... I wonder why Yang felt the need to try to diffuse the tension with humor and keep everyone in high spirits all the time. It’s almost like it was a life or death situation growing up. (/s)

Anger, Fear, and Burn

Before jumping into the next big narrative piece, let’s talk a little bit about Yang’s semblance, Burn, and how it works. Because it’s important to establish before starting to dig into Volume 4.

Let’s start with how Ruby describes it:

Don't worry! With each hit she gets stronger, and she uses that energy to fight back! That's what makes her special.

Notice how Ruby doesn't mention anything about Yang needing to be angry to use her Semblance? In fact, while it’s unclear if this is entirely true, it has been stated previously that Yang’s powers come in part from her hair and no one has refuted that claim in like 8 years so it holds some weight.

Moreover, recent volumes have actually been hinting that Yang likely doesn't even need to use her anger to activate/maintain burn. And that she just does so out of habit more than anything.

Now, why exactly would someone intentionally limit themselves by tying their semblance into in emotion like that? Well, first let’s answer the question, why anger?

And well... anger is a secondary emotion.

A secondary emotion is an emotion fueled by other emotions... masking your feelings of sadness, hurt or grief with anger can be easier than experiencing the primary emotion.

And moreover,

The feelings that anger commonly masks include fear, anxiety, guilt, shame, embarrassment, betrayal, jealousy, sadness, hurt, and worry. (Alta Loma, Understanding Anger as a Secondary Emotion, Web, emphasis added).

Fear is, of course, a bit of a running theme in RWBY, there was a whole speech and song about it at the end of Volume 7, after all.

But more than that, there've been two people on two separate occasions who've called Yang out for being scared when she's posturing: Ren and Raven.

And while Ren was pointing out that she uses humor to try to deflect when she’s scared, when Raven said this to Yang she was absolutely outwardly angry... and Yang admits to being scared in the moment yet still standing there.

Also note that humor = friends/winning, anger = enemies/losing.

Which makes you wonder, what was happening growing up that made Yang instinctively react to fear of danger with anger and planting her feet instead of running away? For that let's go back to what we learned from Burning the Candle and the V5 short real quick.

We know there are living Grimm on Patch. Maybe not as many as elsewhere, but both times we are given glimpses into Yang and Ruby's childhood on Patch they are attacked by Grimm, which isn't a great sign.

How old do you think Yang was the first time she or Ruby had a bad day and attracted one of them on accident and she had to fight it off on her own (because she couldn't run, she had to protect Ruby)?

How many nights do you think Yang would spend reading Ruby stories and telling her dumb jokes to get her to laugh to try to make sure they weren't attacked? How often did Ruby have to force herself to be okay? For both their sake?

Volume 4

Now let's talk about Volume 4, aka: when Tai had the chance to step up and didn't.

Now right off the bat he's okay. There's nothing inherently wrong with him bringing her the arm and being excited at the thought because he doesn't know how she's going to react to it though it is a little weird he opened her mail without permission.

The rest of Yang's first V4 episode, however, makes it very clear both to us as the audience and Tai that Yang isn't doing okay... but Tai doesn't do anything to attempt to help her.

Which is why what happens in the next episode is kinda messed up.

Yang wakes up from a nightmare about losing her arm in a seriously traumatizing event and goes downstairs when she realizes there's a distraction people are over.

Then we get the fight and despite Yang laughing it off in the end... honestly Tai is being very condescending towards her, which Yang even points out. Like, someone made a slightly adult joke in front of her and he flies off the handle and starts a fight with her and starts making digs about her not being a real adult ready for the real world and let's just break that down before dealing with the actual problems in this episode.

Yang, as established, has been fulfilling the role of parent (while barely getting any parenting herself) for years. She's been fulfilling the role of an adult since she was 5! And at this point in the show she's also legally an adult. So not only is it condescending, it's also untrue.

Then we get this line.

I guess you lost some brain cells along with that arm.

Not only is this beyond callus, Yang is clearly actually upset by this.

And notably, she only treats it as a joke after Oobleck dropped his cup. AKA: after being reminded that they aren’t alone in the room.

(And remember, Yang uses humor as a coping mechanism).

And both Oobleck and Port can clearly tell that this wasn’t appropriate at all and immediately following that, they pointedly step in to ask Yang how she is doing with everything.

Which Tai has not done.

And Yang opens up to them! And she tells them that she’s still struggling and coming to terms with what happened to her. Which in turn causes Tai to finally talk to her about it, but he’s being pushy about her getting back out and “being her new normal” and even refers to her PTSD as moping when she just got done saying she’s still trying to process and recover.

And it’s again Port specifically who steps in and gives her some genuine advice without trying to push her her into anything she’s not ready for and then Oobleck joins in and they go out if their way to ham it up to make her laugh.

So overall, Tai’s being extremely dismissive of the trauma that she’s gone through and minimizing her feelings at every turn.

Which then leads to this scene...

Which is when Tai’s dismissiveness starts to make sense (and I’ll come back to this when I’m analyzing the last episode).

Let’s break it down. To start, Tai knows that Yang is going up to her room, they pointedly have her call out goodnight from upstairs so Tai knows where she is physically and what her intentions are.

Secondly, there’s no way that Tai doesn't know you can hear people talking from the front door from Yang’s room. He’s owned this house for like two decades minimum at this point.

So when Oobleck and Port ask after Ruby, there’s no way he should assume Yang won’t be able to hear everything he says. And he very much lays the burden of Ruby’s safety at Yang’s feet. He’s not going after her because he has to “look after some things.”

AKA: Yang.

And then she comes to him literally the next day wearing the new arm and wanting to train and he doesn't question her at all, even though 12 hours earlier Yang was very much not ready?

We then don’t see her at all for five episodes until we get the scene where she’s training with Tai and honestly, his advice is kinda horrible.

To start, even he says his advice is based on watching her Vytal Festival fights, meaning that everything is based on watching three matches.

He points out she uses her semblance to win every fight after the qualifiers (which is true), and Yang rightly points out that everyone uses their semblances to help them win. Then Tai says this:

Because not everyone else’s is basically a temper tantrum.

Not only is this very unlikely to be true, but even if Yang does need to rely on her anger to activate her semblance, calling it a temper tantrum isn’t accurate at all.

In fact, the way Yang uses her semblance takes a great deal of emotional regulation to pull off. She not only is able to make herself angry enough to use it at will, she’s also able to stop using it at will. Meaning Yang is capable of instantaneously switching from one emotion to another.

That’s not a temper tantrum, that’s someone with superb emotional control choosing what emotion to feel when it’s most appropriate.

Furthermore, the “what happens if you miss” comment is so ridiculous I don’t even know how to start other than saying we literally saw exactly what happens when Yang misses her first attempt in Volume 2! When her semblance is being revealed! And the answer is... she gets another shot.

And if they’re stronger... like not using the thing that makes her ridiculously powerful is certainly not going to help.

And honestly... Yang doesn’t do what Tai says. He says it’s useful in a bind but Yang doesn’t use her semblance only in emergencies from here on end. In fact, what she actually does is pick up some tricks from Pyrrha and she starts hiding her semblance from people!

And noticeably, Tai isn’t the one who tells Yang to fight smarter. That’s a line of thinking she develops on her own between the first and second times she faced Adam.

And then Tai takes credit for her “suddenly” getting better like she hadn’t successfully hit him so hard he needed to take a pause and the fight he did win was only because he attacked her when she was being vulnerable with him... her father who she’s of course not going to assume is going to attack her while she’s opening up to him... because she wouldn’t do that to Ruby.

And then we get to Yang’s last (real) episode of the volume when she’s setting out to get Ruby. Remember when I said Tai’s dismissiveness started to make sense and we’d come back to it? Well we’re back to it.

Note how Yang pointedly doesn’t tell Tai that she’s leaving, despite him having indicated to Port and Oobleck that the only reason he wasn’t also going after Ruby was because he was staying with Yang?

And how in the end he doesn’t leave with Yang to go find Ruby even though supposedly the only reason he hadn’t was because he wanted to make sure Yang was okay? And now Yang’s going after Ruby? Alone?

Paired with how pushy and condescending he was acting towards her in the other two Volume 4 episodes he was in, on top of having neglected and parentified her for at least a decade, this really reads as him wanting Yang to get better so he can shove her out the door to go after Ruby, and not him caring at all about her as a person.

(Which is why I really struggle to feel bad for him in his V8 scene... if he was so worried he could have been there).

Yang’s Actual Temper Tantrums

Let’s address these really quick before moving on to the final section. We’ve actually seen/heard of four different instances where Yang actually was having something resembling a temper tantrum while using her semblance.

I’m going to start with the Neon fight because it’s the easiest. But Neon as a character relies on knocking her opponents off balance by getting under their skin in a fight. She tries to make them angry and yes, it does work on Yang in this instance. But that’s Neon’s whole thing, in any other match up Yang would have been fine.

The other three times all had to do with her hair (namely, when Junior gets her hair in her trailer, when the ursa gets her hair in the Emerald Forest and... in V4 when Tai refers to her having a rough first haircut).

Going back to the bit about how Yang’s powers, in part, come from her hair and this actually makes a lot of sense in the context of Yang’s childhood. If she was regularly in charge of protecting Ruby and some of the finite power she did have as a kid was because of her hair, of course she gets freaked out by losing some... and we’ve already talked about Yang using anger as a mask for fear.

Bumbleby and Volume 9

So let’s talk about where we’re going now, because of all three of the abuse survivors in this show, Yang is the only one who hasn’t really been confronted with and forced to deal with it yet.

Because at the end of the day, being parentified and neglected for years has left Yang scared to open up emotionally and more than that, uncertain of her identity outside of being Ruby’s parent.

Because up to going to Beacon, that was basically Yang’s entire life. It’s entirely possible the only reason she went to Signal was to learn how to protect Ruby better all things considered.

Which is why the development between her and Blake is so important this volume. Yang desperately needs to be valued as something other a caretaker and protector and so far they’ve been emphasizing the fact that Blake loves Yang because she’s a goofy dork who makes her smile, not because she’s strong enough to level a mountain.

And while Blake’s relationship with Adam was abusive, unlike Yang, Blake does have a framework for health relationships thanks to Ghira and Kali and she’s worked through her own trauma from being abused romantically enough that she’s in a place emotionally to help Yang start working though hers. Starting by giving Yang a person she can trust not to leave who also isn’t and has never been dependent on her to muck up Yang’s healing process.

Because there’s a difference between someone choosing to stay and someone not having any other choice because they were/are dependent on you. And (absolutely no shade to Ruby here) she’s already had someone in the latter position choose to leave her anyways.

In Conclusion

Yang was abused as a child and into her late teens and is in desperate need of some type of unconditional love and affection that she doesn’t feel there are strings attached to in order to finally begin healing...

And therapy, but they’re a little low on that for the foreseeable future.

#RWBY #RWBY Spoilers #RWBY Analysis #Yang Xiao Long #Bumbleby #When I say long I’m not joking #This is more than 3k words

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aspd-culture · 5 days

Note

Welcome back. You’re very informative.

I’m very confused about how numerous people, from you, to other antisocial people speaking from their experiences (some of which I learned are actually friends) to prosocial researchers of ASPD say that antisocial people see relationships as transactional. It’s not weird that you guys see it that way, it’s more like “and prosocials… don’t???” Because I’m certain I’m prosocial. I’m neurodivergent, sure, but no signs of ASPD. So, how do most prosocial people typically view relationships if they’re not transactional?

So I find prosocials and pwASPD both tend to think “but doesn’t everybody” when we hear this - it’s a super undescriptive term - but we’re thinking different things define something as transactional. We also see the reason for that transaction to be different.

From a prosocial generally, they’ll mean “I only want to be around people that ‘don’t drain my energy’, that don’t just take take take, that we mutually enjoy the friendship/relationship and want to be around each other”. That’s kinda their definition of getting something out of it, and they want everyone to get something out of it. If they’re draining you, they want you to be free of it so you can be happy, and the transactions involved can be purely emotional/vibes. The reason they feel this way is a desire for positive and enjoyable social connection; the consequence for an uneven/bad/missing transaction is discomfort and wasting their time in negative experiences and generally feeling bad in association with that person.

PwASPD see those transactions very very literally. There’s no vibes nor emotions in the transactions, those are either a reaction to the transaction or a bonus. We mean that we are getting something tangible or practical out of it. Rides, help with things we can’t or don’t want to do alone, sex, maybe even the social relief from the annoyance of “why don’t you ever talk to anyone?” coming from all sides. We also don’t always care if it’s even on the other person’s end. If they’re ok driving me everywhere/if they do it and don’t say or show they’re uncomfortable, then I will assume they are fine with that piece of the transaction. If I’m taking more than I’m giving and they seem chill with that then I’ll accept it. However, I won’t give them *nothing* and that’s because of our reason for transactions - it’s dangerous otherwise. First off, I have shit I need I can’t get myself as much as it sucks, so I need to be around people. But if we need something from them, what we learned in our childhoods is that we don’t get that for free. There’s always something over your head. A lot of pwASPD had friends or caregivers that would hold favors or even *basic, legally-mandated caregiving* over our heads as though we didn’t deserve it. Often our value was determined as a child by what we provided, and since children can’t provide much, we were worthless and not deserving of good treatment.

This is part of the reason (TW non-descriptive CSA mention, skip to the next paragraph if you want) that people thought ASPD was directly correlated with CSA for a long time - many cases of long term CSA come from either “I’ll give you x/do x for you if you help me with this” or worse, doing something first then saying “but I gave you X!/did X for you! I wouldn’t have if I knew you’d act like this”, often call us selfish if we tried to say no and maybe get aggressive or forceful after, and that is an easy lead-in to our view of interactions.

So a lot of us see it that if we want to be safe/know we can continue to get what we need, we HAVE to be giving them something. If you claim you like being around me “just to be around me” or worse that you’re willing to do something for me “just because I want to”, that’s not safe. You want something from me and I’ll give it to you - just tell me what it is. If you’re not telling me, that means it’s not good or you’re just gonna decide later that I’m selfish. You might hurt me to get what you want and justify it with this. Take something from my side so we’re even, because even means safe. Even means I get access to what I need and you get access to what you need - so now we’re both using this relationship/friendship/etc for something and you wouldn’t wanna mess that up by putting me in danger any more than I’d want to mess it up by putting you in danger.

Of course, not every prosocial sees it the first way and not every pwASPD had those experiences and/or sees it that way. But that’s what I’ve found to be common. If you see “they make me happy” as what your or their end of the transaction is, it’s definitely a prosocial response, maybe with the exception of thinking of it as “getting their brain to dopamine/oxytocin” vs caring how they’re actually feeling. If not, if you need it to be practical, that’s definitely transactional.

It’s important to note this is personal relationships with no practical consequences to ending the relationship - most people see relationships (platonic) with coworkers or managers as transactional and that’s a way I usually explain it to prosocials (“do you deal with your boss bc you like them or bc they sign your check - and would your boss keep you hired if you didn’t do your job because you make them happy just by being there?”). But with a romantic or sexual partner, a friend, etc. this is not a typical view of relationships.

That said - you can *absolutely* not have ASPD and have transactional view of relationships. It’s not a 1:1 thing there; not everyone with ASPD has it and not every prosocial doesn’t. It’s just a really common piece of the puzzle that is this personality disorder.

Edit: ack I’m so sorry I forgot to add the csa tw tags they’re there now.

Plain text below the cut:

Edit: ack I’m so sorry I forgot to add the csa tw tags they’re there now.

#tw mentions of sex #tw csa #tw csa mention #tw abuse mention #tw sa #tw sa mention #tw child abuse mention #tw child abuse #aspd-culture-is #aspd culture is #aspd culture #actually aspd #aspd #aspd awareness #actually antisocial #antisocial personality disorder #aspd traits #anons welcome

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i-got-the-feels · 4 months

Text

Bad Buddy

@taeminie 1

This quote and them and the rooftop scene for "you will never be friends"!!! Big fucking brained Ali!!

@dengswei 1

Pat's face of love and adoration accompanying as to how he loves pran with his every atom and prans face of heartbreak because he looks at him with despair. Perfect lines for them.

@daymork 1

25-21 x Bad Buddy = me shaking screaming and crying. That too a fucking baek yijin quote. The day this doesn't make me insane (it will never happen)

@snimeat 1

Something about how pat pran balance each other no matter where they go, be it whether they are happy or sad. I think the essence of that is beautifully captured with the quote and pictures you chose gei

@pranpat 1 2 3

1 I don't even need to elaborate. The set fucking begins with "we lead two different lives, just like two lines that never cross"

2 Jay, I hope you know you chose violence by combining richard siken and rooftop scene together. I hope you know what you did.

3 "who will come into the kitchen and be hungry for me?" with that expression of pat. Followed by pran saying "I always wanted to cook for someone I like" I am so so so okay

@sunsetandthemoon 1

You beautifully summarized their whole journey and that is why this is here. It's one of the sets that will always make me emotional

Only Friends

@celestial-sapphicss 1

This song describes the soul of the show. This set captures it.

@alienwlw 1 2 3

1) The words!!! With the shots you chose!! Childhood ray in first set!! And happy smiling ray daring to hope for a future with sand!!

2) this set beautifully captures how ray let's himself be used by mew. Because he thinks that's the kind of love he deserves. That's how much love he deserves. Even though he knows he can have more with sand, that is why he selfishly tried stopping sand to move on.

3) delving deeper into Boston's motivations? Yesssss. His sexual escapades as a way to feel human connection? Give me more

@spicyvampire 1

"You're coming down with me hand in unlovable hand" pleaseee Boston does not know how to define love. And the definitions he has are in conflict with the society he lives in. That's why he is alone. That's why he is hurt. Even if he owned up to his mistakes.

@gunsatthaphan 1

The shot of gifs with the words?? Hues of healing with them holding hands in bathtub? Shadows of patience and hours accompanying sands heartbreak of "ray *was* my 25th hour scene? I have said enough

@smileytharn 1

This. Them holding hands. After the initial hesitation. After ray went to sand to apologise and show how much he means to him. Sand acknowledging that and opening up more to him about music - the thing that means most to him. Amazing zey!

@raypakorn 1

A set capturing Ray's Self-destructive nature perfectly not being on the list? Not today, buddy. Not today. Today, we cry at tanies amazing brain and talent in making this set

@sollucets 1

This song and them? Especially the time ray was "confused" over his feelings for sand. Heartbreak. Never thought a bop pop song can cause this much emotional damage. Amazing job love

@icouldhyperfixatehim 1

What I love about this edit is that captures Boston's journey so well. As a friend. Their friendships fallout and reconciliation, or no reconciliation with mew. As a lover, and being left behind because you both no longer have denial as an option and have to escape the fact that you guys are too different in defining love and hence cannot be together.

@sandrayy 1

Listen this quote goes well with sandrayy. Because if anyone understands the value of Ray's tears and will die rather than see ray cry is sand.

Kinnporsche

@dingyuxi 1

This poem is for them okay? "you are too good at violence and he is too good at forgiving" with scenes you chose will always devastate me

@kinnporsche 1

A big hug and chefs kiss to you because the scenes you chose? Episode 4, Episode 5 angst and Episode 7 ending? Yesssss. They burned for each other. Only when did they give in they found solace because they burned brighter together.

@kinnsporsche 1

The scenes you chose!! Kinn giving into his attraction to Porsche and calling him his sun. Him letting go Porsche as moon when he lets him go. And the scene where he tells Porsche how special he is as stars!!!

@alienwlw 1 2 3 4

1) "I let darkness eat the light" + Vegas standing in tears after kan left after inflicting his violence!!!!!

2) holy water scene with pete telling Vegas he is very hungry and needs to be taken care of?????? The big brained energy never ending with you my friend

3) Vegas being vulnerable openly!! The way you beautifully showed his journey to this point where he confesses his insecurities to pete!!! Insane!! Talented!!

4) pete coming to terms with this side of his? The side that craves violence. The side that craves to be dominated. Amazing

@magicaldreamfox1 1

The gif of pete leaving his job to show his support to Vegas. Even when he didn't know if Vegas would survive or not!!! Brilliant BRILLIANT.

@spicyvampire 1

I AM NOT ON MAIN FAMILY'S SIDE. I AM NOT ON MINOR FAMILY'S SIDE. I AM ON YOUR SIDE = TO TO HELL WITH YOU. galaxy brained. No notes. No words. No thoughts. Just AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

@khaotunqs 1

The coloring in the set made me loose it. Black and white with hints of pink? The talent?! Also the quote you chose? Attack on every direction my friend. Mercy please.

@guzhu-furen 1 2

1) a set that highlights a relationship between all the brothers? Ofc i cried. Next question.

2) the fact that even pete didn't know why he went. Until he forced to acknowledge it ofc. The quote is perfect perfect for the scene you have choosen

Between Us

@smittenskitten 1

A parallels of the "be brave for me" scene is made for me. I cry.

Last Twilight

@sandrayy 1 2

1) I have rambled about how the quote goes so well with them in tags and will do again. They both help each other find their purpose. Something they lost along the way by the course their life took. And this existential shit makes me emotional.

2) I love how simple the quote is yet because of the scenes chosen shows the initial flurry of nervousness and excitement when new to liking someone so well

@morkofday 1 2

1) The way they both met each other just days ago but already cherish each other. As individuals. Not as roles they play in each other's life. I cannot.

2) this!! you cannot tell me that when Mork held on to days chin and dismissed the job opportunity they both didn't have horny visions. You cannot. I think you showed their journey beautifully here.

Also love the oranges in both - i d k if its intentional but love that it goes with the shows name so well.

Love In The Air

@bird-inacage 1

The words just hit me whenever I see this set. Love, your writing is beautiful. The font you have used in the set amazing. The scenes you have chosen are perfect. Thank you for this.

@prapais 1

The softness and protectiveness prapai has towards sky. And how even if he isn't a violentan for nature, he wouldn't hesitate for sky. Uff.

Midnight Museum

@daymork 1

I love the composition of the images. Especially the second one. Showing his fate across universes before showing their conversation in third image? The sense of hope that I got after the feeling of futility?? Totally brings across the feelings i have towards the damn articraft.

@alexshenry 1

The coloring of purple and yellow is so fucking dreamy. And something about Kathadome and moon - a universal symbol of hope, of light in darkness??? Amazing my love Nuria

@hoppipolla 1

I am so sorry love. I adore your set because it brings out the universal truth. Time doesn't erase the pain. It's just that we learn to manage it better. Thanks to people around us. The same happened with Katha. I am so glad I found this set

My School President

@pharawee 1

Their friendship!! They will always be there for each other. Gun can be vulnerable with them without worry. Something he doesn't easily do probably cause he doesn't want to worry his mum. But all his friends encourage him to be open and vulnerable. They tell him he is okay and how just because he is strong he doesn't always have to be strong.

@chinzillas 1

Anna!! This edit is one of those forever emotional damage causing arts. It perfectly gets the slice of life, I am growing up. I aam happy but scared to grow up. I am leaving behind the me i currently know. Will I like how I grow to be? How much of it can I control? The anxiety, the home, the excitement, the dreams, the optimism, the hope and the fears we all have as young adults is so fucking beautifully felt in this edit.

Not me

@dimpledpran 1

I cannot believe I discovered this edit so late. The quote is so fucking accurate. And the scenes chosen? Especially for the second gif with tawi??? Big brained energy

@taeminie 1

The scenes you chose for how the kingdom lights shined and one day we will be remembered are PERFECT

@magicaldreamfox1 1

A black and white journey edit in interaction with their parents? Those parents who are people in power and that maintain the very system their kids are revolting against? Delicious

@morkofday 1

I am so glad I requested this set because your badassself delivered. The differences in their ideologies is shown so beautifully here. I cry.

Vice Versa

@ardentlytess 1

Whenever I see this edit, it makes me nostalgic. This is the edit I shall use when persuading my friends to watch vice versa. It captures their journey so beautifully.

@daymork 1

They fell in love with each other without knowing each other's faces. Survived travelling across universe. And had "thank you for being born so that I can love you" so no they aren't ever ending

Never Let Me Go

@shuyis 1

This quote and Palm??? Perfection. He didn't hate his mother for leaving him. Sure he was hurt ans confused but he gave her the benefit of doubt. And when he met her and heard her reason? He accepted her. He loved her. He grieved her loss. He didn't hate his father who left him when he was a boy to go a protect a boy his age. He was concerned for his father's safety and well being. Hell he didn't even hate the boy or boys family. Palm was kind in true sense of the word.

@jyuubin 1

Not tooting my horn but in one of my sets I made for nlmg I wrote a line. It was "if the choice between me and you, it's not a difficult choice at all. I'd always choose you" and I love how this set captured that. Palm didn't give up on him and Nueng even when Nueng became scared and did. He fought for them.

Moonlight Chicken

@maggiecheungs 1

This set inspired me to make my basic-ass set. Need I say more as to how much I adore this?

@jimmysea 1

Heart and li ming don't just see each other. They welcome each other. And the thing about welcoming someone is you understand everyone has their own time of coming to you. They gave each other the time required without rushing the other and the quote you chose just gets this across so well

@raypakorn 1

The damn quote. With Alan. And the scene you chose. "I am on business of loosing your interest". Yeah so okay I am.

@pharawee 1

The neon font just fits so well with the vibe of the show. Light in between darkness. Feeding people at night when people are most tired.

@taeminie 1

The quote goes so so so fucking well with heart and li ming. For heart, li ming is the first person to make accommodations for his need without showing him pity. His gratitude, amazement and love for li ming just come across so well.

The Eclipse

@youdontloveme-yet 1 2 3

The day I am not wrecked over by these 3 sets you made for eclipse is the day you can consider sun has risen from west. What were you thinking while making these? "chasing after echoes" for akk???? "there are only remnants left of you" for Ayan??????

@morkofday 1

The sense of home they give for each other. Akk can keep his fears of inadequacy at rest when with Ayan because Ayan accepts and cherishes him as he is. Ayan can take off his mask of strength off and show his grief and sadness because akk will be there to support him.

To Sir, With Love

@shyishsarawat 1

Listen for a low-heat soap opera? These dudes fucked a lot through their eyes. And when they touched? Yeah that was hotter than any kiss. And i think the quote perfectly captures the tension, devotion, adoration and love they share for each other

@tinnchan 1

Take me to church?????? With to sir with love??? Nads I wish I could say more but my brain just goes AHHHH THIS SONG IS THEM THEY ARE READY TO DIE FOR EACH OTHER THEY ARE EACH OTHER'S RELIGION THEY WORSHIP THEIR LOVE. THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS THEIR SHRINE.

Things to note

These include edits that I found in 2023.

These include edits that gave me the feels.

Thank you for your art. They make the experience of watching the show all the more fun. It helps in appreciating the characters. It helps me see them in new light.

Looking forward to see more of art from amazing artists on here.

To people I didn't tag - tumblr tagging limit sucks. Your art is beautiful simply because it's made. You made it with a feeling and that in itself is beautiful.

Also, the tag is #becauseigtf in case yall wanna tag me in future :)

#2023 wrap up #thank you artists

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winter-kh-sideblog · 7 months

Text

The thing with Kairi is, for all of the “she has no autonomy and is barely a character” jokes, she is so so interesting if you are willing to put a little bit of effort into understanding her. And this is kingdom hearts, the fandom of digging through offhand comments from games across every console imaginable to put together snippets of backstories, so like, I KNOW there’s an audience of people willing to put in effort? So here is my little essay on why Kairi has so much potential

I think a lot of people get lost because they assume that Kairi is Sora’s girlfriend? And they say “oh well the narrative doesn’t show that, the narrative is giving us more reasons they should move on than that they should stay togehter” and it’s like!!! You’re correct!!!! The narrative IS saying that!!! This is because Kairi is not, and never was Sora’s girlfriend!!!

Most people (correctly, sadly) get the “thrown to the side, no autonomy, barely a character” vibes from Kairi. But then they just go “oh she’s a one-dimentional stock Woman ™ character” and don’t think farther

i think that, a LOT of Kairi’s canon treatment makes more sense when you realize she’s not the “hot popular girl who’s a prize to be won” trope that people think she is. She’s the dead wife.

This sounds wild at first, because she

Is a teenager

Has never been in a relationship, let alone married

Is ALIVE

So it’s like. What the heck. How could she be the dead wife. But she IS. and i think it’s impossible to unsee once you realize it.

She’s been dead from the beginning. She’s always haunting the narrative. She’s barely present and doesn’t get to make decisions, but the things that happen to her catalyze the entire plot of almost every game?

The thing is, her stock cliche ending is not, and never was “she ends up with Sora bc she’s the Prize and the symbol of Winning and they live heteronormatively ever after.” Her ending was always. She is perfect and innocent and pure. She dies. Everyone is sad and angry for a bit. They fight for justice. Then they move on. The happy ending is catalyzed by her and she gets credit, but she doesn’t do anything, she doesn’t have autonomy, and she doesn’t get to stick around for the ending.

And this is a REPEATING motif in her life. When she was FOUR years old she was sent ahead to stop the apocalypse. She is basically dead to her homeworld. They weren’t getting her back. She lost her memories and her family and her life.

In kingdom hearts one, she dies in the apocolypse and becomes motivation and a prop for Sora and Riku. She doesn’t get to fight, she doesn’t get blood on her hands, she isn’t faced with messy decisions.

In kingdom hearts 2, she’s again kidnapped to start the plot. She doesnt get to be with sora or riku or even know what’s happening for most of the game.

And then of course in kingdom hearts 3, she’s literally killed, and it’s like. It’s not even a fight. She’s literally just slaughtered for no reason other than Sora fight motivation.

She’s the symbol of home and family to Sora. It’s not just a matter of romance, there’s not even romance between them? Not really? It’s about childhood and closeness and the promise of forever.

And the thing is. She clearly doesn’t want to be the dead wife character. I don’t think anyone would??? But it is ALL she’s good at. And that’s the problem. She’s a princess of heart, which is defined by absence. She doesn’t have darkness. She doesn’t have evil or badness or anger or malice or anything. And it’s just so?????? She’s narratively destined to die young before she has the chance to get older and get involved in anything messy or morally dubious. Her “job” is to be perfect and good enough that people miss her when she’s gone.

And then???? They don’t????? That’s the whole thing with melody of memory. They let her stay in a coma for an ENTIRE YEAR. Her friends are upset when she dies, but Sora’s the only one actually fighting to bring her back. No one else makes an effort to be with her???? It doesn’t seem like Riku makes any effort to contact her at all in the time between kh1 and kh2 when Sora’s in a coma for an entire year???? They fight and kill to wake Sora up but not Kairi anymore?????

They can't even make a kairi GAME without making her basically dead because that's her Role.

And it’s like????? What do you do when you’re the dead wife. When everyone theoretically loves you but only for what you’re not. When they love you because you’re fragile and pure and have never done anything wrong. When you’re not allowed the chance to live enough to become anything complicated, and people act like that’s for the best?

What do you do when you’ve been dead since the beginning, when everyone has already mourned you??? When they've all reached the acceptance phase and you're not sure if they want you back? They've spent too long learning to be Without you to remember how to be With you and now you're an inconvenience and a reminder of closed wounds?

What do you do when you’re alive but you never learned How to be alive, because you weren’t Supposed To survive????? What do you do when no one knows what to do with you??????

I think a lot of people who want Kairi to break free from the narrative are the ones who keep saying things like “oh she needs to move on from Sora and get better friends” but Sora is one of the only people who gets it?????? He’s been one of the only people that we see onscreen???? making any kind of attempt????? To love her like she’s alive?????? Its not much but its literally ALL shes given?????? And i dont fault her for holding onto that?????? And cherishing it????

And I do think it can be very cool to see her move on???? But i dont think people understand that,,,, if Sora and Kairi were to end up together, it wouldn’t be playing into the cliche, expected ending. Kairi LIVING is already breaking free of the tropes. Kairi being allowed to be messy and hurt and heartbroken,,,, being allowed to want things for herself,,,, being able to ask for help IN THE MOMENT instead of having people guess what she would have wanted after she’s gone,,,, being loved as a person rather than as an idea,,,,, Thats breaking free of the narrative tropes in such a profound way. And i don’t even think it matters much whether it’s romantic or as bffs or as teammates???? It’s just about being chersished as a human person and given a support system.

So yes, i do want to see Kairi make new friends and get some self confidence and move past her layers and layers of survivors guilt and make an identity for herself that doesn’t revolve around a man???? But also????? I think that its 2023 and people should stop pretending that sokai is inherently the boring or cliche expected ending when they’re LITERALLY doomed by the narrative already. Like do you guys actually not realize how subversive it would be if they were to end up together. The romance of staying alive for each other and breaking the cycle out of pure love and spite. The rebellious act of LIVING and taking up space while you're alive, of being a person instead of a concept to be idealized.

You can ship what you want and whatever sparks joy but PLEASE for the love of everything do not call sokai the boring ending. Please stop saying that letting kairi continue to exist and be alive will make the games suck or be cliche. Please. Just like put a little bit of effort into themes and narratives i beg of you. It is so much more fun.

#kairi #kairi kh #kingdom hearts #sokai #kh meta

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poemnic-tarot · 2 years

Text

Reassurance from The Universe, for those of you who need it

(Disclaimer : this is a general reading please only take what’s resonate)

🏹 ✉️ 🦊 🐇 You are loved 🐇 🦊 ✉️ 🏹

Pile 1 Pile 2

Pile 3 Pile 4

🏹 ✉️ 🦊 🐇 You are loved 🐇 🦊 ✉️ 🏹

Pile 1🎐

Card : You are limitless. You can do anything you choose.

Pile 1, the universe want to reassure you that you are safe and that it is also safe for you to let out your inner child. What you think may be too childish or weird to express in this world, the universe is saying that it is not. It is okay for you to be yourself, fully and freely. Express your authenticity without restraint. Your fear may be relate to when the last time you did this as a child or in the past, you were ridiculed, condemned, or judged. And that may have traumatised you. So you are scare to truly be yourself. But the universe is here to assure you that, you don’t have to be scare anymore.

As well as, when you do that there will be a new discoveries you’ll find. Perhaps a part of you that you did not know. If we spent most of our life keeping one part hidden, then there’s a high chance the rest of us that we haven’t explore or discover yet had also been ignored. And this new side of you that you will be discovering is limitless. There’s no limit as to who you can be. As Oscar Wild once said, “to define is to limit”. You do not need to label this new identity of yours. Think of yourself as an adjective instead of a noun if you’re having a hard time committing to one identity, then simply don’t. Example, you are not just a painter you see, you are everything you can be and think of. You are painting, you are writing, you are creating, you are cooking, you are learning, and so on.

When you let out a part of you that you have been suppressing (maybe since childhood) you will realised your potential and rediscover hidden talents and wisdom and answers that you have alway seek for. All the answer is within you all along. For those of you who create art, bringing those repressed part of you to light can help inspired you and your creativities, if you are having an artist block the solutions lies in the part of you that you’re hiding.

If you can let your true self shine, then you can literally do anything. The Universe just want to tell you that it is safe to be you and express your needs, show your hobbies, opinions or just simply, it is safe for you to exist. It is safe for you to be here in this world as who you are. When tides will be turning if and when you express your true feeling.

Let your inner child out, they want to be heard and explore the world. I know that it is difficult and take a lot of courage to show the world your truest self without the fears of criticism or judgement or comments. But the Universe want to reassure you again that it is worth it and truly nothing bad will come from this, only freedom and love and true acceptance, from yourself and others. True acceptance can only come from others when you have truly already accepted yourself. You are unique Pile 1, and the world need more of that, you will be doing the world a service to simply be yourself.

Affirmations : I am safe and trust others to allow me to express myself truthfully (throat chakra)

I have the strength and energy to do what needs to be done. I have the courage to do it

Poem verse (All poems are written by me unless stated otherwise)

Wonders of Art (usually I only write a verse of my poem but I am call to write down the whole poem for you)

Our Art relates to our past

We created pieces inspired by the

Memories

Of once who we used to be,

All the pain, and loss

Turned into melodies

And sound of songs,

When we transformed all that lingering

Sadness

And string it to sing along,

The canvas of colour

Reflect the emotions

We wish to convey

When we have been led astray

Art and poetries brought us back

And in passion

We are here to stay,

Never the one to trust intuition

Ignorant of instinct, did not know

How much inner strength

Would have bring this wondrous creation’

- Wipawee @cant-find-my-name

Song: Beautiful Soul by Jesse McCartney

‘You might need time to think it over

But I’m just fine moving forward

I’ll ease your mind if you give me the chance

I will never make you cry, c’mon let’s try’

Signs : Unicorn, Swans, Peacock feathers

🏹 ✉️ 🦊 🐇 You are loved 🐇 🦊 ✉️ 🏹

Pile 2🍬

Cards : Focus on Love. Look for the good in everyone

Embrace your emotions. Allow your feelings to

surface and be accepted

Pile 2, the Universe want to reassure you that it is okay to love, or love again. The strong emotion that you are so afraid of that is holding you back from taking a leap of faith, the universe is asking you to ask yourself why do you feel the need to hold back?. This is a crucial point in your life in regards to love (not necessarily have to be only romantic love) something about love in general scare the fxxx out of you. Is it the fear of commitment? Are you afraid to be happy? Or do you think you are under deserving of love that you are getting, or that you fear you do not feel the same love to a particular person as you once did?. Whichever scenario apply to you, but the general theme is love. The universe is assuring you that those emotions of yours are not to be scare of. How you perceive a situation has a lot to do with how you feel about it. Your feelings can alert you to the truth of a situation. And the truth is not as scary as you think. The truth will free you.

Specific message for some, the Universe want to reassure you that you have made the right choice in regards to your romantic partner, or even to your friends or business partner. Do not fall into self sabotaging tendencies to find faults in that relationship to use it as an excuse to end it, because you’re afraid that it’s too perfect to be true. It is not too perfect to be true, it is true.

Please do not be scare to express your love to the ones you love. If they truly love you, they will feel honour to be on the receiving end of your love. Because you love people deeply Pile 2, and that kind of love scare you because you’re afraid that people will not reciprocate your feelings. The Universe is reassuring you that, there is no need to hold back your love. Example, if you want to confess your love to someone, your crush perhaps, do it. There is no greater regrets than the love that have never been express.If you love them truly you will respect their decision in regard to your action. It is time for you to see love in a new, healthier light, not something to be ashamed or scare of. Associate the emotions of love with more positive energy. Love is patient, love is kind, love feels divine.

Don’t hold back your affection or vice verse, if the one you love is being affectionate towards you and you feel uncomfortable because you’re not used to it, express that feelings. Thanks them because expressing loving gestures take immense courage, and you know that don’t you Pile 2?.Tell them that you appreciate their efforts and it’s helping you towards learning how to be more comfortable with receiving love.

Another specific message for some, if you think your partner doesn’t love you because they do not show it, please express this thought of yours to them, your needs and fears, open up. Tell them what it is that you need from them to feel more loved in this relationship, e.g. more praise, touch, etc. And see what’s happen. Do not come to a conclusion without expressing your needs first. And vice verse, ask your partner or friends what you can do to make them feel more loved?.

Do not hold back your affection, do not hold back your love. Whether from expressing it or receiving it because the universe is reassuring you that it is okay to feel all of your emotions. Even the ones that you perceive to be negative. This is a crucial time of your life Pile 2, when you decide not to hold back your love anymore whether to your friends or partner or family members, you will experience love like you never before. It will change your life for the better. The universe love you, unconditionally. You can love too, freely,cause love is abundance and limitless and a source of energy that will transform your whole being.It is okay for you to love and be loved , cause you are made from love. The universe created you with love. You are so Loved.

Affirmations: I release self sabotaging behaviours

I give my self permission to be alone,

connect with myself and appreciate my solitude

Poem verse (All poems are written by me unless stated otherwise

Lover

And we feel safe in each other arms

I know you would protect me from

Harm,

Cause Lover

I would do the same

- Wipawee @cant-find-my-name

Song : Perfect by Ed Sheeran

“We are still kids but we’re so in love

Fighting against all odds

I know we’ll be alright this time

Darling, just hold my hand

Be my girl, I’ll be your man

I see my future in your eyes”

Signs : Dragon, Gold, 1010, Wheel of fortune

🏹 ✉️ 🦊 🐇 You are loved 🐇 🦊 ✉️ 🏹

Pile 3🥀

Card : Slow down.Pause and allow things to unfold.

My Pile 3, the Universe want to reassure you that, it is okay to slow down. Nothing bad will happen or things will not fall apart like you fear if and when you slow down. You are radiating an addictive energy to doing things, even if it isn’t productive or needed at all, a bit toxic masculinity vibe, grinding culture perhaps. You just need to do something because you’re afraid that if you slow down or god forbid enjoy yourself, things will crumble. Pile 3, your fears is ruling you because the reality is not as bad as it seem. Nothing that’s true and stable will crumble, if it did crumble, then it wasn’t stable in the first place.

Fear not, the Universe want to assure you that you can stop, step back, slow down and relax. And just be for awhile without doing anything. Nothing at all, and that includes thinking about doing the thing when you’re supposed to be doing nothing. You deserve rest, you need it, please be kind to yourself and give yourself what you need. If you think you don’t deserve rest, still rest anyway because what most people do not realise is that, rest and relaxation is as essential as eating and sleeping. People think they can’t function without eating or sleeping?, that is also true for resting and relaxation. You can do way more after you rested as opposed to continuing working continuously without stopping. Guess which one is more productive, if you are a person who value true productivity, then rest. Meditate,go for a walk in nature, take a nap , disconnect from technology, do these things instead to rejuvenate your soul because frankly Pile 3, You need rest more than anything else you think you need to do.

You think you can’t take a rest because you want to know the outcome of the situation or the outcome of that hard work you put in. Let go of that need to control. There’s no need to know exactly how things would unfold or turn out. Maybe reflect on why you can’t just let things be, even yourself, why can’t you just let yourself be?. Why do you feel the need to obsessed over everything. Are you scare that the outcome will hurt you if you don’t control it or that things will go wrong if you don’t keep an eye on it 24/7?.If you are a Virgo, watch out for a shadow attribute of Virgo.

The Universe want to remind you that you are depriving yourself of joy and pleasure of the moment. If you use all your energy to commands things to go exactly like you planned for, then where’s the energy left to actually enjoy the experience?. The true purpose of what you’re doing is to actually enjoy what you’re doing. If you associate doing things as a task or a chore, especially towards your hobbies ( which is what you should only do if you truly enjoy them BTW) , then truly you need to take a step back and ask you yourself why you are doing it in the first place. This might be the reason why you don’t enjoy what you used to anymore. The association you have with it changed.

Everything in your life is in divine order. There’s no need for you to go and order and reorder it, when it already is. Because that is not what’s important, remember what is truly important. Slowing down will allow you to appreciate what is in front of you, not what you are hurrying towards and miss the fun in the present. If you truly do not feel safe enough to let go of controls, ask Archangel Michael to assist you in the art of letting go. Ask him to protect you as you let yourself become vulnerable and surrendering to life and what will be, will simply be.If you ask for help in the first place, try not to be too arrogant to receive it.

The Universe want you to make time for reflection and solitude/meditation. It is utmost importance you do that to feel less like you’re running on a trade mill and going nowhere. Please be gentle and kind to yourself as you adjust to a new pace of life. If you’re used to running all the time because it is easier to keep going then to stop, but sometimes if you don’t stop, in the long run, the fall will be more brutal. And the universe do not want that for you. The universe want to reassure you that you can stop right now, go take a break as long as you need, because whatever it is you’re doing, it will still be here and will not become worse like you fear. Take time to breathe and let yourself just be.

Affirmations: I am kind to myself and other

I deserve to have fun and enjoy my life. Joy is my birthright

Poem verse (All poems are written by me unless stated otherwise)

You are so Loved (see the full version at @cant-find-my-name)

Where you are is beautiful

You are here and it’s beautiful

The whole world at your feet,

All you can conquer

No expectations to meet.

- Wipawee

Song : Goodbye by Ramsey

“I can hear the sound of a heartbeat

Before it calls out

Won’t ever leave my memory

Of bloodshed all around

And I can see a tear on my father’s face

Before it falls out of my enemy

How could I have ever let you down?”

Signs - 99, Candle, Tuna, Aqua

🏹 ✉️ 🦊 🐇 You are loved 🐇 🦊 ✉️ 🏹

Pile 4🥂

Card: Listen with Your heart.You are listening but need to hear with a loving heart.

My Pile 4, The Universe want to reassure you that what you decide to begin anew, whether it is a project, a new life, a new lifestyle, a new job or job position, a new relationship, or even a new outlook in life, it will become successful. Not only that, it will even exceed your expectations. Do not be afraid of disappointment because you think this is a new territory for you or it’s scary cause it’s something you’re new at , because if you listen to your heart closely, your heart is actually so excited by this new prospect. Follow your heart lead.

The Universe want to reassure you again that your hard work is being pay off. Even if you’re thinking that you didn’t work that hard or do anything, this is not only referring to the conventional hard work you are probably thinking off. For examples, You might have had work hard as being a better person, work hard to improve your lifestyle, a more positive outlook in life, working hard on your self confidence, or on your boundaries, shadow work, etc. Whatever it is, you will be rewarded for all your hard work. This will renew your soul and zest for life, prepare to get lit up 🔥 Pile 4 (in a good way). When there are offering coming in for you and if your soul call to it, please take it. Whether that is an idea, or an invitations, or a promotion. Take it and you won’t regret it, in fact, you will have a great time and it might even lead you towards your idea of success/satisfaction.

The Universe want to reassure you that you are taken care off, materially, financially and spiritually. All your needs will be met. Think of what you need the most right now and Pile 4, your wish will be granted. Timeframe depends on what you’re asking for. ‘No need to worry you are taken care of’. So, listen to your heart for once. Go and enjoy yourself, have fun.Your happiness is within you and you have all the tools to make yourself happy, light up with joy, right now.No need to wait for an external events to come and bring it to you.

For those of you who never do what their heart want/wish because of duty and responsibilities, well the Universe want to assure you that, it is time. Time to listen to your heart because it will guide you towards success and what you wish for. When you listen to your heart, it will never led you astray, instead, might even lead you to where you didn’t even know you needed to go. Pile 4, it is alright to follow your heart this time.

Specific message, if you’re heart is telling you to buy something for a while but you haven’t because it’s too expensive, or because you convince yourself you don’t need it, please buy it Pile 4. Your heart want what your heart want,whether that is a trip, a luxury item, or a business class on a long flight etc. Buy it, there will be more where that came from.

Also please never judge what your heart want or desire. Sometime we shamed it plea consciously or unconsciously because it has been done to us by other people when we express our heart desires. Example, if your heart yearned for a beautiful house but your mind goes ‘in this economy?’,or when you express to your friends you want a pink car and they called you childish etc. These invalidation might not be done with bad intentions but regardless, your heart don’t know that. All it feels is immediate rejection to it wishes. The heart want what it want, and listening to it without judgement is a small step towards obtaining that wish. You deserve everything that make you happy and make your heart soar Pile 4, Everything.Whether that is recognition, materials things, a romantic interest etc. The Universe want to tell you that enjoy it,celebrate it, bath in it, because you deserve every happiness that’s about to come your way Pile 4.

Affirmations: I have everything I need to be happy right now

Poem verse (All poems are written by me unless stated otherwise)

Authority

If my heart is now the Authority of my life

How would it look like?

I think the word indulgence come to mind

But whereas before that brought up shame

Now?

Aren’t indulgent what you’re supposed to

Aim for in life?

- Wipawee @cant-find-my-name

Song : Venus by Sleeping At Last

“The night sky once rule my imagination

Now I turn the dials with careful calculation

After a while, I thought I’d never find you

I convince myself that I would never find you

When suddenly I saw you.”

Signs : Seashells, Dolphins, horse, a baby, 11, 191

🏹 ✉️ 🦊 🐇 You are loved 🐇 🦊 ✉️ 🏹

Thank you so much for reading, until next time!!

#pick a card #tarot messages #tarot reading #divination #messages #poetry

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masivechaos · 1 year

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🪐i'll try everything once- matilda by harry styles and neil perry🫶💌

Matilda ✧˖*°࿐ neil perry x gn! reader

Warning/content: hurt to comfort, talking about having kids, mention of having a bad childhood, au where neil lives ha, my English

w/c: 0.7k

masterlist/ dead poets society masterlist / navigation / taglist

There were a lot of things you loved about Neil Perry. The way he smiled, how generous he was, when he scribbled little notes on your hands when you were working. And mostly, how brave he was. He was the most courageous person you ever knew. And the craziest thing was he didn’t even realise.

But he was also scared. Scared he was going to great the same pattern as his father, that he was going to fail as a dad. He grew up not knowing what showing love was, so how could he possibly be a loving father? That seems impossible.

So when you expressed your wish to have kids with him, you didn’t expect it to start an argument. He told you he could never be enough and he would never want to have children because of what he went through. And you were hurt, you knew that wasn’t his intention but there was a little part of you that felt like he didn’t want kids with you.

Frustrated and not understanding each other, you went to bed, your back facing his. But as the hours passed, your mood cooled down and guilt started to eat you. Neil was finally opening up about the repercussions of his childhood and all you found to do is taking it personally.

You turned around, biting your lips, not wanting to disturb him but the urge to apologize was stronger. He was tensed, and it was all your fault. “Neil?” you whispered, hoping he was open to communication.

After a minute of silence that felt like an hour, he moved and faced you. You could tell he was hurt, and it seemed like he cried. He didn’t speak a word, and slowly, you drew your hand to his face, letting him time to let you know if he didn’t want physical touch.

“I’m sorry,” you said quietly, letting your forehead fall against him “I didn’t try to understand you. I was selfish.”

That was all it take for him to let go of the tears he was holding “I’m not mad at you,” it surprised you, he had all the reasons to be “I’m mad at him.”

It was crazy how the man that was supposed to have Neil as the first person in his heart still had an impact on his son years after moving out of the childhood household. Neil actually was even in denial of the treatment he received until you made him understand, you didn’t want to accuse anyone, but the way his smile would always fade after talking to his family just stayed in your mind. But he always told you his problems weren’t so important as if he refused to be in pain in front of anyone.

As his lover, you made sure he understood what was happening to him, that he could let it go, he could stop talking to them, it wasn’t his fault.

“Why couldn’t you be a good father? You’re the kindest person I ever met. Your past does not define you. You can start a family who will always show you love.”

Neil hoped you knew how much he needed to hear this. But something was still wrong, his mother truly loved him and he knew it, she just wasn’t brave enough to stand up for him. And he felt a little guilty “Mom always told me the best gift I could give her was a child. But I don’t talk to her anymore, she won’t be there to see the little baby me.” He knew he cared more than he should, but he couldn’t help it.

“Neil,” you chose your words carefully “you don’t have to be sorry for doing it on your own.”

All of a sudden he broke into tears. Years of suffering he could finally externalize. He got closer to you, curling into your chest, like a child. You wrapped your arms around him, whispering sweet nothings in his ear, trying to calm him down as much as you could. “You can let it go”

⋆ ★ neil perry taglist: @cauliflowertree @moonlitmeeks @toindeedbeag0d @mad-elia @juneberrie @mystic-writings @natashxromanovf @goodoldfashionedluvergirl @spookydarkwitch @duxpuella @innerloverpainter @vancitycharlie @venussflytraps @diorgirl444 @dori-and-gray

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uter-us · 7 months

Text

hey yall i got a great question from @waveofmutilationuksurf !! they asked how i view the process of male or female socialization, so here's some explanation with data on the way we are socialized based upon sex. anyone's free (and encouraged) to reblog or pm me or comment if my information is inaccurate, they have something to add, or disagree w, etc!!!

okay so to start off, just defining socialization: the second definition from Oxford languages for socialization is "the process of learning to behave in a way that is acceptable to society." so male socialization would be about the distinct differences in how people who are male are taught to behave acceptably in our society as opposed to female people. (most radfems would say "men"/"boys" and "women"/"girls" but this post isn't primarily for radfems just the general public interested, so I am only going to be saying female people / female children and male people / male children for that sake! i have more about this at the end.) I am talking primarily about the socialization in childhood and adolescence. (As their brains are developing, gender roles have a greater ability/depth to ingrain into their sense of the world and themselves. The dont have the context or knowledge to discern stereotype from reality.)

Male and female socialization aids in upholding misogyny and patriarchy primarily through gender roles. It starts from birth. From the abstract of peer reviewed ScienceDirect's "Gender Bias in Mothers' Expectations about Infant Crawling." ->

"This study examined gender bias in mothers' expectations about their infants' motor development. Mothers of 11-month-old infants estimated their babies' crawling ability, crawling attempts, and motor decisions in a novel locomotor task—crawling down steep and shallow slopes. Mothers of girls underestimated their performance and mothers of boys overestimated their performance. Mothers' gender bias had no basis in fact. When we tested the infants in the same slope task moments after mothers' provided their ratings, girls and boys showed identical levels of motor performance."

This is an example of how even before the female child could walk and talk, they were already being underestimated, and the male child was already being overestimated. This is a very sad message to send to the female children because it undoubtedly extends into other aspects of their lives. This is just the beginning of a lifetime of underestimation towards female people who will then internalize this about themselves, believing it to be true and hindering their potential. This message is also bad to send to the male children, because when this theme extends in other aspects of their lives (throughout their lives), they will underestimate the female people around them, while over estimating the male people. This undeniably will do harm to the female people as the playing field is not level!

Another example is on the content of greeting cards (separated by age too!). Children get greeting cards from peers and family year after year. From peer reviewed ACM's "Pretty Princess vs. Successful Leader: Gender Roles in Greeting Card Messages." (download for free here) ->

primary topics from the birthday cards:

and fyi this is the info on the catagorization:

"We further split these messages based on their gender association. We assume that the association is implied by the recipient’s gender mentioned in the message: If a message mentions an indicator in the general female group in Table 2 (or variations of mother or grandmother), we categorize it as a female-associated message."

Specifically in our discussion of childhood socialization, the difference between the female-addressed cards and the male-addressed cards were between a value in appearance for female children, and a value in achievement for male children.

(the reason i still am specifying sex and not gender for these cards is because the majority of trans people do not come out in childhood (more often adulthood and adolescence), so the vaaasttt majority of these birthday cards going to these children are picked based off their sex.)

this study was actually REALLY very interesting and you should definitely consider reading it (or at least perusing some of the data! they include valentines and wedding cards too w over 18000 cards total, and they additionally have some data on personal messages on twitter-- all very interesting!)

another example is from an article from the New York times titled, "The Gender Divide in Preschoolers’ Closets". The author, a mother to two preschoolers, sees the divide in her male toddler's clothing and her female toddler's clothing. She writes primarily about the functionality of the clothing. ->

"'Especially in the toddler years, the boys have more pockets, they have more fun active clothes than the girls,' said Francesca Sammaritano, a children’s wear designer and assistant professor of fashion at Parsons School of Design. 'There’s leg room for bending your knees.'"

Additionally the author Sara Clemence writes, "It’s not just about avoiding skinned knees, but also the subtle and discouraging message that’s woven right into girls’ garments: you are dressed to decorate, not to do."

As well as the functionality of the clothing, we can consider the text on the clothes from the girls section vs the boys section. In the Irish Times' "It’s time to tackle gendered inspirational guff on children’s clothes," Deirdre Falvey writes about the content on the clothing. ->

"The more that clothes and toys emphasise gender difference, the more our shared humanity is undermined. And the more girls and boys learn to see each other as other. The more children are pushed to conform to gender stereotypes – even via the clothes they’re offered – the more they grow up to fulfil them.

"The messages from most of these clothes: Girls are sweet and flowery, good and kind. Boys are strong and adventurous, assertive and bold. See it, wear it, become it."

Throughout this post, we've seen that female abilities are undermined; female and male children are taught female value is in appearance; female children are taught to minimize, quiet themselves, and "put on a pretty face." Male children are taught the polar opposite. The difference is stark!

Male and female socialization is important to recognize because it explains and contextualizes stereotypes and gender roles. For example, I hear men point to how women (or they often say "females") are less likely to ask for a raise as proof of women's "weak nature" and to justify the wage gap (fyi I find conflicting information if this is actually a true fact lol, but I digress). Is this because female people are just naturally more submissive? are they just naturally less assertive? no, it's not natural, it's nurtured.

Furthermore, outside of this post, I primarily say "men"/"boys" and "women"/"girls" as opposed to "male people"/"male children" and "female people"/"female children," because to me, there is a lot to a woman, but not a lot that makes a woman a woman. Her biology did not betray her; it was weaponized against her. These children in the studies and articles above are not mistreated because of their gender identity, they are mistreated because of their sex.

Another reason recognizing male/female socialization is important is because once we recognize that these things do happen, we can mitigate the harm. From peer reviewed APA PsycNet's "Parents’ judgments of children’s gender-typed play indicate qualities of the early-life caregiving environment." ->

"Mothers who displayed androgynous and counterstereotyped preferences—primarily conveying approval different-gender-typed play—were rated higher on objective assessments of the quality of the home environment and parent–child interactions."

I'm not speaking for all radfems, but in my understanding, a large part of not considering trans women to be women is due to their socialization, and that a gender identity or sense of self can not undo years of male socialization starting from birth.

I hope this was reasonably coherent ! if you have questions and corrections lemme know :)

#radfem #radical feminist safe #sex based oppression #male socialization #gender abolition #gender critical #radical feminism #radblr #radical feminist theory #feminist theory #resources #not j a reblog tag #read conversations tag

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lucy-and-rebecca · 10 months

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Let's talk about Fairy Tail women.

A while ago I came across an ... interesting post that can be summarised as 'fanservice is bad and hence all the female characters are written badly'. I've seen a lot of takes alonge these lines.

I've said it a million times, I don't like the fanservice in fairy tail but claiming that the fanservice automatically makes the writing of the female characters bad is a very shallow way of looking at the story. The over sexualization of the female characters is only one criteria we should consider while discussing how female characters are handled in the story. Unfortunately most of the time that ends up being the only criteria. I also think a lot of the times this is used as an excuse to hate on the female characters in fairy tail.

So here are some of my reasons as to why I absolutely love the way fairy tail women are written.

Flipping the damsel in distress trope.

During the phantom lord arc Lucy is kidnapped and Natsu went out to save her. A very classic setting for the damsel in distress trope. What makes this moment different is Lucy, the princess stuck in a tower, decided to jump. That moment is so important for her character. Lucy chose to jump because the alternative was having to return home to her abusive father and she jumped because she knew Natsu would catch her. That scene both simultaneously showed the audiance how much Lucy dreaded going back to her father's house and how much faith she had in her guildmate. That scene wasn't there to show Natsu saving her, that moment was there to flesh out Lucy's character.

They Unfridged Lisanna.

Fridged girlfriend/wife is a trope where the female lover of the male protagonist is killed, sometimes even before the story begins and the sole purpose that female character serves is to be a source of angst for the male protagonist. Lisanna was almost that. But she was brought back. Even before that she wasn't just limited to being Natsu's source of angst. She was Mira and Elfman's sister. I don't particularly like Lisanna but she's alive and she's living her life with the people she loves. That will always be a positive thing.

Self sacrifice is bad actually.

A lot of times, especially for female characters self sacrifice is presented as a virtue. It's presented as a selfless noble thing. During tower of heaven arc, Erza learnt that that's wrong. she realised she's loved and wanted. She learnt that her life matters and the people who love her would be miserable without her and nothing good will come from her death. She learnt that self sacrifice will only lead to pain for everyone she loves.

Passing bechdel test in the most unexpected situations.

In case you don't know the criteria for passing the bechdel test are, two named female characters talking to each other about someone other than a man. This test is mainly for movies but we can apply it to tv shows, anime and manga by seeing how often it passes the bachdel test rather than if it passes it. Like how someone did for Doctor Who. (I am genuinely tempted to do this for fairy tail anime.)

Anyway getting to the point, you would think that's very easy to achieve and yet so many stories fail at it so very often. While this test is by no means a sure shot way of measuring how feminist something is, I do think a show with a lot of important female characters who have good relationship with one another will pass the bechdel test a lot more frequently compared to a show that doesn't.

Fairy tail passes the backdel test somewhat frequently, sometimes in unexpected ways.

At first we are lead to believe that Erza and Kagura are connected because of Jellal and Simon. So it's only natural that they will talk about those two men during their fight. And yet their fight during grand magic games passes the bechdel test. Because their relationship goes beyond those two men. Erza knew Kagura from their childhood and she wanted their relationship to be defined by that rather than anything else. Erza didn't tell Kagura how she should feel. She understood and respected Kagura's feeling. All she wanted was for Kagura see her as her own person. The reason why this scene managed to pass the bechdel test was because despite everything Erza and Kagura's relationship is not defined by the men in their lives.

Women with power

Time and time again fairy tail has portrayed women wielding immense power. Fairy tail has also portrayed women in position of power. Hisui didn't just remain a princess, she became a queen. Fairy tail was founded by a woman. Dragon Slayer magic was invented by a woman. Characters like Urtear and Brandish are unmatched in power. Powerful women in fairy tail feel powerful, they don't feel power for a woman or power despite being a woman, they feel powerful.

Future Lucy died in her own arms.

Future Lucy is a characters who went through unimaginable pain and suffering and ended up dying. But she died to protect her past self. She died in her own arms and made the past version of herself promise her that she will fight for their future. Even though we know that our Lucy is perfectly fine that scene hits like a truck. Natsu in that moment remembers how happy Lucy was when she got her guild mark. That's a painful memory in that moment because future Lucy has lost everything. She has lost her guild along with her guild mark. Natsu and everyone else there is sad and angry because future Lucy deserved to happy and that happiness was stolen from her. Even when it comes to showing Natsu's pain it's entirely selfless. Even after all the pain she went through in the end she was at peace and the story made sure we knew that. Future Lucy is one of the few characters who dies in fairy tail and like all the other deaths in fairy tail this too is meaningful. Fairy tail would never kill of a character, let alone a female character for shock value.

Power of friendship but like siriously.

From Erza and Mira's childhood rivery to Lucy and Brandish's current rivery, to Wendy and Chelia's relationship that's two steps away from blossoming into romance fairy tail has so many complex relationships between it's female characters. It is so hard to put into words. I absolutely adore the relationships fairy tail women have with each other. They are sweet, bitter, silly, loving and everything else that you could possibly imagine. While not all, most of their relationship are also build on their own without a male character being involved. What I mean by that very often we will see two female characters being friends because their boyfriends are friends or because they had a crush on the same guy but they put aside their differences or the girlfriend and sister of a male character becoming friends. Those examples exists in fairy tail too but they are just so rare. And because we have so many dynamics between the female characters those type of relationship don't stand out.

#fairy tail #fairy tail 100 yq #fairy tail 100 year quest #lucy heartfilia #erza scarlet #wendy marvell #women of fairy tail

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evendumbo · 11 months

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I wonder if those who wanted Ted and Rebecca to remain platonic friends because “we need more representations of platonic male/female friendships on tv” genuinely believe that Ted and Rebecca’s relationship delivered this to them. I wonder if a fan could describe what was unique about their friendship.

How did these character’s’ relationship re-define platonic intimacy? What insight did we gain about the value of male/female friendship? Rebecca and Keeley would hang out regularly and explore issues of gender, media, business, power, sexuality, and love, including for each other. Of Ted and Rebecca’s brief non-work conversations, they were almost exclusively about divorce, one or two about dating. How did these conversations expand our ideas about how friendships between men and women can be uniquely useful in processing these issues?

When we look back on iconic male/female friendships on tv, do people really think that Rebecca and Ted will be on the list?

The most nuanced, interesting m/f friendship on tv that I can think of is Frasier and Roz. Their conversations spanned a wide variety of topics. They were there for each other when things got bad for each of them. It was clear that they knew each other well. They’d tease each other, advocate for each other, argue with each other, challenge each other. They had a complicated and interesting intimacy. They were friends.

It’s not totally a fair comparison bc Frasier is an old school show and had a zillion episodes. My point is that I deeply learned from their friendship. I honestly can’t think of anything interesting to say about Ted and Rebecca if limited to a context of platonic friendship, or even platonic “soulmates,” except it’s spooky that traumatic things in their childhoods happened to them on the same day, and it’s very nice that divorced people give each other pep talks sometimes.

Is that what folks are out here celebrating? Because…🥱

#antis won #congrats 🏆#but what exactly did they win?#I’m just asking #what did we gain?#I’m out here looking for any commentary opining about their friendship.#but all I hear are crickets #this the saddest most boring trophy I’ve ever seen #tedbecca #ted lasso #rebecca welton

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flower-boi16 · 4 months

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My Problems With Raine Whispers

Before I start this post, I just want to say that I'm a big fan of The Owl House. It's my personal favorite cartoon of all time - I think it's one of the best modern Disney cartoons out there. That being said, as much as I love The Owl House, the show isn't perfect, and today I'm going to talk about my problems with a specific character from the show; Raine. I never really cared for Raine, I didn't hate them but I didn't really like them either, they were just kinda meh to me. However, after a while I began to realize my real problems with Raine as a character and how their written. This is probably going to be a pretty big hot take so without further ado, let's begin with this post...

1. Raine doesn't feel that developed

This is something that's just an extension of a much bigger problem with Raine that I'll get to later, but a major issue I've always had with Raine is that they never really felt that developed of a character. Seriously, nothing about them was really that interesting to me, the show doesn't really develop them much. Now, I'm not expecting the show to give a full-length character arc to a side character, however, the show has many side characters like Matholamule, Hooty, Viney, and Boscha.

Raine has waaaay more screen time and plot importance than any of the characters I just mentioned yet they still feel less developed than those characters. Granted, this is probably something that could just be blamed on the shortening, but it's still a major problem nonetheless. But this is something that is just a part of a greater issue, which is the fundamental problem with Raine to me:

2. Raine feels solely defined by Eda

This is my biggest issue with Raine; their character feels like it's solely defined by Eda. Now, having a relationship with another character be a core aspect of a character isn't a bad thing; take Amity for example, Amity's relationship with Luz is definitely an important part of her character, the first thing people think about whenever they think about Amity is that she is Luz's girlfriend.

However, while Amity's relationship with Luz is a core aspect of her character, she isn't just "Luz's girlfriend". There are still many aspects of Amity's character beyond her relationship with Luz, and she gets her own character arc of gradually becoming a better person throughout Season 1. Even in Season 2 where people say that Amity is just reduced to "Luz's girlfriend" she still has some episodes in Season 2 developing her as a character where they explore her relationship with her parents.

And If I'm going to be honest, Raine kinda feels like everything that people say Season 2 Amity is. Like, really think about it, what other aspects are there about Raine's character aside from "Eda's childhood friend/Ex"? The only other things about Raine I can really think of are that their a bard and a Coven Head rebelling against the EC, but that's...kind of it. And these two traits aren't as prominent as their relationship with Eda.

Raine's whole character feels like it's solely defined by Eda. The character they interact the most with is Eda, the character they spend the most screentime with is Eda, and the biggest and most prominent trait is their relationship with Eda. And Eda's awesome, she's one of my favorite characters in the show, but when a character is developed beyond their relationship with another character, that's kind of a problem.

It never feels like the show really develops Raine beyond "Eda's childhood friend/Ex", they do not have many major characters aside from that and the few that they do have are overshadowed by this one trait. The entire concept of Raine's character IS defined by Eda. I'll admit, Raine is a cool idea for a character, but the show really develops them beyond that idea and it ends up being very mediocre in execution.

Again, there's nothing wrong with making a character's relationship to another character a core aspect of them, again Amity is an example of how to do that right, but you need to develop a character and give them more traits beyond just their relationship to another character. Otherwise, you end up with that character becoming solely defined by that other character, and that simply isn't good writing to me. Again, I know these problems were probably caused by the shortening, but they are still major issues that I feel need to be pointed out. Besides, the shortening didn't stop Season 2B and Season 3 from being amazing anyway.

Again, I know that Raine's just a side character, but considering that their the side characters with the most plot importance compared to others, I feel like It isn't unreasonable to expect the show to develop them well.

3. Conclusion

So uh, that's why I don't really care for Raine as a character. If you like Raine, good for you, but I just don't really find them that good of a character. I know this is kind of a hot take (which is why I am very scared of posting this) so uh if everything I just said is objectively wrong then uhhhh please tell me lmao. And that's it so...

...bye

#raine whispers #toh #raine toh #the owl house #toh critical #toh criticism #the owl house critical #the owl house criticism #toh analysis #character analysis

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gartenofbanny · 11 months

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So today I'm going to list off the characters in Helluva Boss who I believe are defined by their relationships with others and one character who is extremely close to being defined by their relationship with others, but Vivziepop actually gave them the time of day to develop them. Just so you all know, yes Millie is in the list of characters defined by their relationships with another character and yes I know Vivziepop made a tweet thread about her. For that case, I'm just going to debunk the personality traits that Viv told us Millie have or explain why those personality traits don't matter or make sense. Let's get started.

Stella

Stella Goetia, now just Stella is without a doubt a character who is known for her relationship with Stolas. Why do I think that? Well, it's because every time she's on screen, she never shuts up about Stolas or what he did. Most if not all of Stella's scenes are just her talking bad about Stolas, her insulting Stolas either in front of him or far away from him, her talking to Stolas, and her referring to Stolas when talking.

Even when Stella is talking to Andrealphus the topic is about Stolas. She doesn't even mention Octavia which is another issue. We do not know what her relationship with Octavia is even like, at most Stella referred to Ocatvia as "an egg" after she gave birth in The Circus. Does Stella love Ocatvia or not? Does Octavia love Stella or not? Are they just both neutral to each other?

We don't know because all Stella does is just badmouth Stolas. She's exactly like Millie, Stella doesn't say anything or do anything that doesn't involve Stolas except it affects Stolas negatively instead of positively. I swear why does she even hate Stolas what did he do? But speaking of Millie-

Millie

Fans of Helluva Boss are noticing that Millie's character is just being Moxxie's wife and it still holds up to this day even after Western Energy released. I'd assume you all know why, but to clarify most of the things Millie does or says the subject is just Moxxie.

Harvest Moon Festival involved encountering Millie's family, but despite knowing more about Millie and her childhood, we just know that Millie's parents aren't fond of Moxxie, they're farmers, and they like war, fighting, and other masculinity-type things. Millie talks about her family in Loo Loo Land so you'd think they would actually do more with her actually going to her parent's place, right? Nah. In fact, Moxxie and Blitzo interact with Millie's parents longer than Millie herself does. Something to think about.

EXEs and OHs is the best example of Millie just being Moxxie's wife because if you all forgot Chaz is also Millie's EX. She got pissed off at him for some reason at the beginning of the episode, but that's never brought up again as Millie gets even angrier once she finds out about what Chaz did to Moxxie before they were married. What was the point of making Millie the ex of Chaz when you aren't even gonna do anything with it? This would've been the perfect opportunity to show why Millie doesn't like Chaz and why she loves Moxxie so dearly. Despite being a Moxxie magnet we don't know why Millie loves him.

Ik about the tweet that Vivziepop tweeted out regarding Millie so I'm just gonna summarize my problems with it mainly when she talks about Millie.

"Millie is resourceful", and so is Moxxie plus I never noticed anything that Millie even does that's resourceful or out of the ordinary. All she really does is just fight.

"Millie has strong family ties", and so does Moxxie and Blitzo plus Millie barely mentions her family aside from Loo Loo Land.

"Millie has a past of violence", and so does everyone else. Blitzo used to work as an assassin, Moxxie worked for Crimson's mob, and Loona most likely had to fight a few Hellhounds from her orphanage to survive.

"Millie has a sibling rivalry with Sallie May", but Millie doesn't even mention Sallie May before or after Harvest Moon. Hell, Millie doesn't even bring up Sallie May after Sallie May made her first appearance. I'm not sure if Vivziepop is an only child, but there is a difference between being angry at your sibling and having a sibling rivalry.

"Millie has strong familial memories", but the only instance of us seeing that is when she mentions her family in Loo Loo Land and doesn't do so ever again.

"Millie is excitable and hyper-focused", those are just basic personality traits that literally everyone has.

Millie doesn't have anything that actually makes her stand out as a character. Her only role is that she's Moxxie's country-killer wife. That's it.

Octavia

A few people don't consider Octavia to be a character defined by her relationship, but I honestly think otherwise because the episodes she's featured in involve Stolas and whenever she's taking action within the episode, Stolas is the cause.

Loo Loo Land and Seeing Stars are nearly identical. IMP goes somewhere with Octavia or to look for Octavia, Stolas gets distracted by Blitzo causing his feathers to ruffle, Moxxie and Millie fuck around somewhere else, Octavia is alone somewhere crying about her situation with her family, someone finds Octavia whether it be Stolas or Loona, reassures Octavia that Stolas loves her and will never leave her behind, and the episode ends with Octavia and Stolas making up.

In a nutshell that's what both Loo Loo Land and Seeing Stars are and that's what Octavia is, Stolas' daughter. We only know what her relationship with Stolas is like not with Blitzo, or Stella. We know that she's cool with Loona, but we don't know when they met, why does Loona actually like Octavia as a friend, and in all honesty, their relationship just came out of nowhere as it had no build-up.

With those out of the way, I'm going to discuss the one character who is so close to being defined with their relationship with another character, but that character has some form of depth put into them and that character is...

Stolas

This is probably a little bit of a shock, but hear me out. In Western Energy, most of his lines revolve around Blitzo saving him or how Blitzo handles him in bed. Blitzo this, Blitzo that. His last words before he passed out were "Blitz.."

Similar to Stella, Octavia, and Millie it has almost gotten to a point where Stolas was defined by his relationship with Blitzo, but we all know it isn't because Stolas has developed (somewhat) and currently has relationships with others and not just Blitzo.

This all gives me just one major question, why is it that the characters that I listed are defined by their relationship with others, but one character who nearly has that aspect doesn't?

And just so you know all the characters I listed who are defined by other characters are female.

With all of this out of the way, I'd like to thank you all for reading and I hope you all have a great day!

#helluva boss #vivziepop critical #helluva boss critical #vivziepop criticism #helluva boss criticism #helluva critical #vivziepop #helluva boss critique #vivienne medrano #do better vivziepop #vivziepop critique #hazbin hotel

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ygodmyy20 · 4 months

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We have made it. To the end of the Mob Psycho 100 rewatch.

I don't have a lot of posts but you can check out #mp100 rewatch tag for all my other rambles about this rewatch.

Here we go it’s time to make my final post of this rewatch.

Granted I didn’t even get up my alien arc one cuz we watched them so fast.

So yeah.

In the Moving episode, my fiancé was getting so nervous because he was having, like, a visceral response to Shigeo confessing. He thought we were heading into second hand embarrassment land. He basically was this gif of reigen like squirming, hands over eyes, like be thought we were heading into “oh no shigeo totally embarrasses himself in front of a girl”

……..

Annnnnd then we hit the end of the episode…..

and he looked at me like this

I don't think I have ever seen this man look at me with such confusion and “what the fuck” emotions. It looked like I sucked the soul out of him.

Do I feel a little bad for making him go in blind?

..........no hahaha

So uh the break between Moving and Rival was like. Him just sitting on the couch staring at the TV not sure what just happened.

BUT WE GOTTA MOVE ON SO HERE WE GOOOOOO and we get to Rival and I am just over here clutching a pillow because ugh the Teru and Shigeo fight still HURTS ME A FUCK LOT

My fiancé was so tense through the whole thing and when we got to this yank out my feels of the whole end of their fight.

He was def feeling the feels train with me. Every time shigeo reacted to Teru I heard him take a sharp breath. This whole scene I could tell it was effecting him

(mehaps he will finally understand why TeruMob has grabbed me and not let go....mehaps)

Moving onto Trauma. Man, that was tough to watch but I also love it because seeing ritsu accept his brother for who he is makes me all sorts of happy.

This scene always hits me so hard. Ritsu thinking through all the parts he loves about his brother, their childhood, the effect the trauma has not only had on him but Shigeo as well. I am exploring this a lot in my ageswap fic, how the trauma between them set them back so much. How it took Ritsu breaking cycles to make a change. Damn.

And then ofc the end. I was waiting for the moment 99 kicked on, a song my fiancé sings a bunch around the apartment. Watching his face when that happened is probably going into the top moments in my brain, I was so delighted. I know some people didn't like that in the finale but honestly it gives me goosebumps I love it.

Getting to the end was bittersweet. A show that means the world to me I was able to finally share with a person who means the world to me. And after, we talked about all sorts of things.

My fiancé shares a lot of similarities with Shigeo and Teru and Ritsu (and honestly a lot of the other espers in general) He was defined by his talent (music) from a very young age. He was seen as a musician first and a human second. Most people only ever saw His instrument. It became the first thing people knew about him. He was a “gifted child”, so his whole life he’s been told he is special, but the only special thing about him is his talent. His….powers you could say.

So if he ever lost that talent, which he did at one point in his life, what does that make him as a person? I didn't expect it but Teru's fight with Mob at the start of the show hit him super hard because he said he identified with Teru. His talent was all he had so he was proud of it, a bit arrogant, until an injury knocked him down to a very very low floor. Because that's what you do when the whole world tells you this is the only part of you that matters (fuck writing that makes me cry ya'll see why Teru hit me in the feels now???? fuuuck)

I love my fiancés music, how can I not? In the end, it is a part of who he is. But it does not define him. His instrument does not come before him. It is not the reason I love him nor the reason I am marrying him.

He is more than his talent, but his talent is also apart of him. He is just him. He is the protagonist of his own life.

And based on everything we talked about afterwards, I like to hope that message landed.

Thank you mob psycho. Maybe you’ll be just what he needs as well.

#mob psycho 100 rewatch #mp100 rewatch #not much analysis more just a dump of rambling thoughts and ideas #just me reflecting on things reflecting on things he has told me just #reflecting #THIS SHOW OH MY GOD #mp100 impacted us in many different ways #and I find it wonderful how much this show can impact him and me in such unique but such true to us kinda ways

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