Nico: Vegetable oil is made from vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so BABY OIL-
Jason: CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A NICE FAMILY DINNER FOR ONCE?!
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percy: *cusses*
sally: “perseus jackson! you kiss your girlfriend with that mouth?”
*annabeth storms in and starts ranting to percy about something, and letting out the absolute most crude and violent cuss words known to man*
sally: 😳
percy: 🤭
paul: “i think she’ll be okay”
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Percy: why can’t we steal from the rich? We stole Jason from his camp?
Annabeth: we didn’t steal Jason, he’s free to do whatever he wants
Nico: we literally dragged him here?????
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Nico: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?
Percy: Several traffic violations.
Jason: Three counts of resisting arrest.
Leo: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.
Frank: Also, that’s not our car.
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annabeth in 1st grade: look under there
some kid: under where
annabeth: you fool. you absolute moron. you are such a monumental idiot that you don't even realize what you just said. i am a verbal magician-
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ten-year-old Nico about Percy and gang: I just want to be included.
Nico, after being included: what the fuck—
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percy jackson summarized:
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Nico, over Iris message: So how is school? Do you hate it yet? Are you coming back soon?
Jason, laughing: I actually really like it, it’s so different from New Rome and Camp Half-Blood.
Nico, vaguely disappointed: That’s good.
Jason: More importantly, how’re you? What have you been up to lately?
Nico, shrugging: Will showed me how to do more things on the computer in the big house.
Jason, encouragingly: That sounds fun.
Nico: I visited you on Google Maps.
Jason, fighting his smile: That’s actually very sweet. Thank you.
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headcanon that percy just starts referring to annabeth as his wife one day when they’re not even engaged yet.
they’re like 20 and percy’s talking to someone and says “i don’t know, let me ask my wife” and everyone just turns and stares at him, but he fully does not realize what he just said. annabeth dies laughing when someone tells her, but then refers to percy as her husband while he’s next to her just to see his reaction. when he seems completely unfazed, the two just keep referring to each other by that.
the day of graduation, the moment after they announce the new class of new rome university or whatever they do there idk, percy just drops to one knee right then and there.
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Percy: We are not mad. We are just disappointed.
Annabeth: No, we are mad.
Percy: Yes. We are. We are livid. But we are going to let this one slide.
Annabeth: No, we’re not!
Percy: I am not a mind reader, Annabeth!
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hazel: percy and annabeth just have the most beautiful relationship
piper: i know! they are SO in love
frank: and they are always so on the same page
leo: and their relationship is so mature
*meanwhile*
percy and annabeth outside the cabin fighting over who gets to talk to sally on the phone first:
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Jason: So let me get this straight.
Percy: More like let me run this bi you.
Leo: Let’s see how this pans out.
Reyna: Stop. We should ace-ess the situation.
Piper: Lesbian actual team of functioning people, okay?
Nico: I’m gay…
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Leo Valdez: “There’s something seriously wrong with you!”
Nico Di Angelo: “...Coming from you, that's actually a little worrying.”
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percy *about annabeth*: my girlfriend has been listening to too much crime podcasts and now she knows too much
percy: yesterday she just said “bodies don’t float if you puncture the lungs” so if I go missing TELL THE COPS SHE DID IT
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