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#im doing so well for my age just please stfu
tallysescape · 1 year
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soon
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st4rb3rries · 10 months
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OMG I LOVED UR STAN AND KYLE BSF HEADCANNONS!! Can i req one with the main four, like what its like to be in a group w/ them?? have an amazing day <33
BEING IN A FRIEND GROUP WITH SOUTH PARKS MAIN 4
pairings; stan, kyle, kenny, cartman x fem!reader (all aged up 18+)
summary; chaotic friend group hc's!
warnings; cussing
a/n; hi and ty hope you have an amazing day too!!
key colors; blue= stan green= kyle orange= kenny red= cartman pink= reader
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late night skate boarding with them. it's always cartman who texts you guys to go. in reality he only wants to go to just to start shit. in my opinion kenny is the best skater out of y'all. but cartman is the worst💀. "you guys you guys look im gonna go down the ramp!!" "cartman that isn't a good idea your not ready-" "WAAAAAHHHHH" laughter is coming out from you, stan, and kenny. kyle wants to laugh but he ain't risking it😭. "GAWDAMMIT KYLE IM BEAT YOUR J-" cartman stops himself because he knows damn well not to rip on kyle in front of you. so he switches up real fast 🙄. "you guys i seriously think i broke a bone" "whatever cartman you just switched up cause you know y/n would kick your ass" 5 minutes kenny is teaching you, stan, and kyle a trick. "ok so next you gotta-" "get a room lovebirds i mean come on🙄" "CARTMAN STFU!!" "yeah dude stay mad because your not psychically able to do any of this🥱" this all happens in less than 15 minutes, like why can't y'all just be a nice friend group😭. moments later stan was about to go off a ramp. UNTIL HIS WHEELS BROKE OFF THE SKATEBOARD. i wonder who unscrewed them..... "AAAUAGHHHHHH" "DON'T WORRY STAN I GOTCHU!!" and there he was, stanly marsh in your arms. "W rizz stan or nah😏" stan could feel his face heating up fr. "damn dude that should've been me not stan😔" "kenny shut the hell up💀" "wait a minute where's cartman he literally almost killed stan tf????" cartman isn't trying to get his ass kicked in front of people so he ditched and went home. classic cartman.
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karaoke night. you guys are definitely singing 2000's songs. but it always seems like you guys get interrupted no matter what. karaoke night was started by cartman, which is so surprising?? "I WANNA HOLD'EM LIKE THEY DO IN TEXAS, PLEASE" "FOLD'EM LET'EM HIT ME RAISE IT BABY STAY WITH M-" stan and kyle always hating cause you and cartman sound a little too good. "BOOO GET OFF THE STAGE" "YA MY EARS ARE BLEEDING" "OH FUCK OFF GUYS LET US SING" "you guys have been singing this same song for 2 hours bruh😭" "2 minutes kenny get it right" they just hating cause they can't handle real talent. sometimes when the karaoke gets intense you guys act like judges for americas got talent💀. "is this kenny mccormick from south park colorado?" "yes" "and what will you be doing today?" "YOUR MOM AHAHA" "disqualified poor people can't seem to have talent" "CARTMAN WTF" "NEXT" "no wait i'll sing with him" "oh god" if kyle and stan think you and cartman sound a little too good. JUST WAIT UNTIL THEY HERE YOU AND KENNY. "THIS ONE IS FOR THE BOYS WITH THE BOOMIN SYSTEM" "TOP DOWN AC WITH THE COOLER SYSTEM" super bass by nicki minaj is y'alls go to song. every time you guys finish that song your out of breath and laugh so much😭. "AND THE CROWD GUYS MILD🔥" "NEXT" "cartman we are done playing americas got talent" "dude let me and kyle sing next we haven't sung at all🥹" "fine" "ah hell nah it better not be anything emo💀" *30 seconds later every one starts singing* "BUT IM A CREEP" "IM A WERIDO" "WHAT THE HELL AM I DOIN' HERE" "I DON'T BELONG HERE" suddenly the tv, microphones, and speaker goes out?? "LISTEN UP BITCHES IM NOT HAVING AN ALCOHOLIC, A JEW, A FATHERLESS DAUGHTER, AND A HOMELESS POOR BOY SING RADIOHEAD AT MY HOUSE‼️‼️" guess who got jumped that night🤔???
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newtkive · 4 months
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pixels [ newt x reader - modern text au ]
ch. 2 - drama queen core
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summary: minho's drama finally catches up with him, but newt becomes a hero.
warnings: strong language, mutual pining, none really.
➥ m.list
__
THE GLADE
[ 12:08 PM ]
y/n: gm pookies
newt: it’s the afternoon.
y/n: yeah well
ur east coast
newt: so are you y/n
y/n: FINE BAD MORNING THEN ARE U HAPPY?
minho: drama queen is awake
newt: you’re the drama queen min let’s be fr
minho: u want me to die be honest
newt: see .
tommy: hey guys :3 been waiting for you all
y/n: awwww tommy <3 gm
tommy: morning sweetums
minho: ew stop
newt: how did you sleep?
tommy: good! used my new heated pillow
newt: not you
minho: not you
tommy: wtf
WHO THEN?? THERES LIKE 7 OTHER PPL IN HERE
minho: he means y/n
and there’s 4 other people not including newt and y/n dumbass
y/n: oh
why just me????
newt: cuz you stayed up til 6 am
y/n: ..
how do you know that
newt: i saw you were active on discord
gally: doesn’t that mean you were awake too then
newt: ok and?
minho: thats crazy newt
newt: no it isn’t
i just casually saw it
y/n: hehe
im ok i need to sleep more. sims 4 was really consuming me
why were you awake??
newt: up for work
minho: you get on discord before work?
chronically online..
newt: can you choke and pass out and hit your head please
minho: THE WAY U WANT ME DEAD IS INSANE
y/n: he’s gotta check on his discord hoes before hitting the grind
newt: there are no discord hoes
unless you count thomas
and i don’t
tommy: well why not
newt: because you disgust me
tommy: love u too :3<3
minho: y’all about to kiss aren’t you
newt: never say that shit again im outside your door with a b*mb
minho: why censor it
just blow me up it’s my grandmas house anyway. u want to jump her that bad????
gally: blow that bitch up i say
y/n: HELLO???!,!!
gally: minho not grandma
she loves me cuz im so tall
minho: tall people always gotta remind you they’re tall 😒
like we get it bigfoot
gally: shut up tinkerbell
y/n: you’re somewhat tall minho
minho: any man under 6’0 is considered short
y/n: yeah but newt is 6 ft trapped in a 5’10 body so not totally true
newt: what does that even mean
minho: give me a break
i can tell you exactly what that means
she wanna hit
newt: stop
tommy: don’t get his hopes up
newt: dude
stfu
y/n: what newt said
gally: can we appreciate the only one actually over 6 ft here
minho: no.
tommy: im the same height as newt!!!!
y/n: yea but ur like 3 ft trapped in a 5’10 body tommy not the same
tommy: oh ..
minho: kind of real
newt: can someone kick gally i’m tired of seeing his fucking name on my phone
gally: then turn your phone off don’t you have old ladies to tend to at the library
newt: yeah and they all love me
y/n: so real
if i was old i’d go in there and imagine you’re my young boyfriend and cling to everything u say
tommy: true im the old ladies
y/n: LMAO
minho: write a fanfic y/n why don’t you
newt: yeah you both are old and not beating the dementia allegations
y/n: IM THE YOUNGEST HERE
ur just mad you’re old as dirt
tommy: youth has left you newt and it has turn you bitter in your old age.
minho: thomas knows big words who knew
newt: which word in that sentence was big??
y/n: shut up minho
minho: wtf did i do
y/n: idk but i imagine you sitting there typing on your little phone and i got pissed
minho: WHAT???!.‘wKWHFO
newt: LMAOOOOOOOOOOO
yeah chubby little fingers hitting the wrong letters on his iphone 8
minho: im leaving
tommy: dont leave i forgive you for what you said
minho: i don’t give a damn
y’all mad y’all are all fake im the realest i’ve been prophesizing and reading scriptures 7000 years before y’all fake asses were born be so for real right now
y/n: not reading that
congrats
or sorry for what happened idk
about to drink my coffee in a wine glass
tommy: just drink wine
newt: it’s noon tommy??
tommy: ok and?
newt: explains a lot
minho: no coffee for me this new year only water and pussy juice fr fr
[ newt removed minho from the group ]
tommy: woah
y/n: woah..
newt: i can’t take it anymore
alby: How did you get that access..?
newt: don’t worry about it
in times of need i have to step in like that
y/n: hi alby!
alby: Hey y/n!
tommy: you’re such a hero newt
gally: that was deserved
who wants to play minecraft rn
y/n: me!!
alby: I’ll play, I’m off work today.
y/n: let’s go to the desert i want a camel
gally: alright but then the caves after i wanna mine
newt: if you mine with her you gotta bring extra food and storage when she dies so you can pick up the fallen items
gally: i forget you’re her designated babysitter
y/n: oh please no he isn’t
and i’ll bring my own food
newt: you always say that and then leave it in the stove oven
y/n: WELL I WONT THIS TIME
newt: sure ok
i’ll get on after work
[ alby added minho to the group ]
minho: when i get you.
newt: why did you add him back alby
alby: He was harassing me.
newt: be a man and take it
gally: im leaving
[ gally left the group ]
minho: im going to throw up and die
newt: im staying out of this
minho: (guy who caused it) im staying out of this
y/n: why does gally alwyas leave 😔
newt: why question a gift from the heavens
tommy: get online y/n gally is attacking my dirt house w a pickaxe :((((
y/n: NO IM COMING
minho: im coming to your work newt
newt: okay im locking the door early then
minho: i’ll smash through the glass idc
newt: i’m leaving my shift is over at 1 today.
minho: i’ll use life360 on you
newt: i deleted that app
minho: i’ll stand in the middle of the street
newt: ok let me position my car in front of you
just come to my apartment and we can play w them on pc and xbox
minho: …. fine but i hate your guts
newt: fine
y/n: HURRY GALLY IS ATTACKING MY SHED NOOOOWWW
newt: i’ll just rebuild it
minho: i’ll set it on fire just wait
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aryxchse · 2 months
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Well now you’ve offered please can we have the frank nsfw headcanons too 🙏🙏
frank zhang nsfw headcanons (aged up)
warnings ; nsfw, cursing and cute frank overload
a / n ; u guys r so sneaky fr
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- alright be ready for the cuteness because this man is not rough
- the most hot thing that he does is turning his some body parts into an animal parts that would give you pleasure
- like idk making his tongue a snake tongue or whatever
- he's big
- like, wtf big
- he could rip you apart if he wanted to
- but like, we're talking about frank
- he would fucking rip his own dick apart to not hurt you LMAO
- no matter how many times you guys did it, you still can't get use to him
- and he has insane stamina like he doesn't get tired and can do it till morning
- frank doesn't have anything in mind, he just wants to give you pleasure and you can use him however you like
- whimpers %100
- he's also shy and like, tries to hide himself into you
- frank. trying to hide himself. in your tiny petite body. lmao.
- sometimes his mars genes shows up and he goes hard a bit
- like, fastens his speed and forgets for a moment that he's HUGE
- but... who are you to complain??
- first time he saw the bulge in your belly he got panicked
- but you were like: babes thats hot wtf
- he puts his hand on your stomach and feels the bump and hes like: omg am i really that big
- easly picks you up
- like you're just some couple of grapes for him
- my size kink is showing up m sorry
- he likes fingering you
- and you like him fingering you
- EVEN HIS FINGERS ARE JR DICKS BRO
- anyways
- every sex with frank feels like first time all over again
- like you're some virgin who's afraid to have sex
- everytime he's gentle like the first time and im not joking
- "frank, harder honey. please." "you.. sure?" "FRANK."
- he worships the ground you walk on so when he cums in you he almost prayed you lol
- mars genes fr
- you guys def broke something
- probably bed and headboard
- also a headboard gripper because out of pleasure he can't help but hold onto something and he can't control his power
- so he doesn't want to hurt you
- instead he hurts headboard
- like that one scene from twilight were the bed is no longer a bed and just a mess
- no matter how much you try, you can't take him in your mouth fully
- but he doesn't complain, he can cum just from you licking his tip
- suprisingly he doesn't cum early, can't even if he wanted to
- and that leads to riding your orgasm
- and he's so sweet about it like: "i know baby, you're sensitive and im so sorry, but i need to go on a little bit more sweetheart, please, can i?"
- LIKE IM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU STFU OMG
- anyways i love frank, i love big guys, i love ares (the myth one) and i love guys who are related to ares. every ares kid is my boo, love u all
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shower-phantom-ideas · 6 months
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Bruh yall fam I love Danny Phantom crossovers
Like hes so easy to plop in other universes
The idea hes in Miraculous Ladybug and gets akumatized and just talks to hawkmoth. Dudes stuck with this 14-16year old kid cause the bug wont/can’t get out. Kid please im trying to work stfu. Ok yes yes my fault for trying to use you in my evil plot hut it’s 4 am and I have a big meeting in the morning. Kinda shit. That or Ladybug thinks hes an akuma when hes Phantom snd doesn’t trust shit he has to say.
Mcu? Hawkeye getting another kid. Ironman finding out parenting is easy wtf is wrong with people. Captain America finding out parenting is hard someone help him. Bucky just chillin. Thor throwin hands. Loki 🤝 Danny
Fnaf? Dudes a dope security guard and befriends all the animatronics. Or hes just a dead kid haunting the place who befriends the DCA. Who probably don’t like him at first cause hes a dirty rule breaker. But a kids a kid man.
Saiki K? Do yall think Danny could clock Saiki? 20$ says Danny head empty so Saiki thinks hes either like him or like Nenduo and avoids him either way.
RWBY? Ozpin son and defence squad. Too easy next.
Soul Eater? Hell yes fuck yes. Bruh don’t need no one and is topping the charts as worst student ever cause he aint collecting one soul. Helping those fuckers move on. Oh now hes expelled. Well you can’t expels him sir hes walking out. Next new villain cause hes saving those souls you sick fucks. Oh yea these are bad people? Well doesn’t mean they should be used to give you a fucking one up. His own soul has been used to power a country and that shit sucked. No one deserves to have their own being used like that. Wtf (souls arent the same here danny smh you are starving some poor kids probably idk I have t seen the show in ages)
Honestly idk how I would put him in SAO? He would just win?
Psych? Yea hes called in a tip and everyone is sus about him like with how they are about Shawn. So fuck it. Plays it up. Holy shit a ghost! Shawn is going thru it in here cause ghosts arent real right? Gus probably making Shawn take a break from cases cause hes clearly lacking sleep. Though didn’t Gus believe in ghosts??? Lassiter actually ends up liking the kid. Pranking Shawn is just a bonus. Karen knows.
Doctor who? Again too easy next.
DC? Adopt him adopt him adopt him adopt him. No matter which dc character is it they gonna adopt. Unless it’s Joker cause he dies on sight.
MHA? Bruh still getting adopted by someone.
Why is Danny so adoptable???
Put that fucker in warrior cats and bluestar is gonna come fukin running
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homeshippinglikeapro · 7 months
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not gonna ask you to delete your blog but can you like. correctly tag your posts proship and not just include ship names and an obscure term only terminally online people use? because im not prepared to block every single incest/etc. ship name at 1am just so i can avoid a very genuine trigger that ive tried to axe entirely from my content pool for years
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I'm sorry you never heard of the tags. I understand "comship", but "shipcest" is common in all fandoms and it's well known, that's why I use it. And if YOU (not "tErMiNaLlY oNlie") don't know it, it's not really my problem, I do not own you any tag, just to not tagging it incorrectly (which I didn't).
Also, if this entire blog is triggering for you, why do you even bother coming here, scrolling, and send me anonimously all of this?
I did use all the right terms and if you didn't know them, I'm sorry, but learn and move on. Just like I did before it was possible to do such things like "blocking tags of stuff I don't like/triggers me" - I was young and didn't know how it worked for very long time; STILL never complained or send such comments to people, even when I saw very inapropriate stuff for my age or stuff that triggered me as well, so no, it's not an excuse for your behaviour and I won't accept it. That's why I was aggressive and I don't regret it AND I will still be if somebody else, for WHATEVER REASON, comes in MY space and comments "eW wHaT iS ThIs?" instead of learn and move on.
Second of all, please don't be so STUPID! "It'S 1Am I cAn'T bLock-" yada yada yada, BRO, it's literally something you're doing FOR YOURSELF, I DON'T FUCKING KNOW YOU OR WTF YOU'VE BLOCKED OR NOT. BLOCK THOSE FUCKING TAGS, BLOCK THIS FUCKING BLOG AND GO AWAY. YOU LITERLALLY NEED TO DO THIS SHIT ONLY ONCE, stop complaining or I'll just assume you're here to bitch around because you hate yourself and trying to make it MY problem for some reason.
+ I am not using ANY terms incorrectly, I want to make it clear. On my main blog I used to tag "incest" and such, I know how tf tumblr works and I know they won't put down my stuff. I tag it shipcest because it's a COMMON term in fandoms, which I'm using FOR COURTESY. I do not own you this shit, I can literally tag it "homestuck" and call it the day, so stop fucking complaining.
EDIT: did this just to let you know how stupid you are, hope you'll enjoy babe
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Took me approximately 2 seconds to search and read. Develop a brain to learn how to read yourself or recognize your limits and don't accuse other people, thanks.
(NOT fucking taggin my shit "proship" because it wouldn't make any sense wtf)
EDIT2: also, because I'm bitter about it now:
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This is my INTRO post, my PINNED post. Stfu.
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gay4way · 2 months
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shut the fuck up about how “I don’t eat enough” seriously i eat whenever i need to. “oh, but you’ve lost weight!” and??? it wasn’t alot (well tbf it was 15lbs but whatever) and it’s not obvious it’s also it’s not harming me or putting me underweight. im in the average weight class for my age. idc that I was so excited to final get to 120lbs, weight gaining isn’t important to me anymore, I just wanna eat what I want when i want and that’s exactly what im doing so please stfu
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for82sy · 1 year
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i am literally. this close. THIS. close. to. fucking. cry. and shout.
my family has a serious obsession w me being gay and keeps forcing me to come out and out the closet. no matter how hard I say no, I REPEATEDLY hear “oh you came out? cant hide now can you?” like no bitch i was basically out years ago at a young age w all those subtle signs of queerness but brushed it off and went w being straight until my queerness became visible to me. i just wasnt so sure and i didnt know this community existed until i was like really old. back then you never knew I was GAY LMFAO.
and they keep saying “you owe me an explanation as to why you’re gay”, “if youre gay why watch kpop boy groups?” (she keeps calling them chinese and i wanna fucking smash a wall omfg), “you owe us a coming out story”, “youre not gay stop lying” etc then I said I don’t owe them shit and they REALLY said “oh but we’re your family? we should know” like.. there’s worser they said but dear god. that house is so lgbtq+ phobic, im suprised. the homophobia, lesbophobia, biphobia, transphobia, etc was REAL and showing in that HOUSE and the whole convo was just utterly disgusting.
i had my own PERSONAL experiences, lemme keep it confidential between me, myself and I.
then she says “oh but do you like 🐱 (down there) or a 🍌 (a guys below)” ? like dont fucking sexualise me??
they kept outing me multiple times,, and keep bringing up that i am a GAY PERSON.
LEAVE ME ALONE?? then my sis had the audacity to say im making up “excuses” like you’re straight? stfu you are not GAY. don’t speak for me. ever heard of unattainable men? oh ofc not cause youre so ignorant lmfao
I hate it here so much...
y’all mfs need to understand, not every person who likes women is a fucking lesbian. People can be bi and have a gf / attraction to girls. and just like how having attraction to men doesn’t mean you’re “being gay” or “straight”. you can be bi, pan, omni, etc even ace and like men. NOT EVERYONE WHO HAS SAME SEX ATTRACTION IS GAY AND/OR LESBIAN. bi, etc people EXIST.
I feel so annoyed and upset, and they SAW my vents in my phone about everything that happened to me. like don’t go through my fucking phone w/o permission??? and then my friend blocked me cause she got jealous AFTER ALL OF THAT.
and this is ALL on christmas. YESTERDAY.
ffs this christmas is fucked up bruh.
I’m never coming out.
and then the way I said people can change lgbtq labels of their sexuality, nothing bad and then my family goes “but you aren’t cake? how the fuck can you change labels lmfao stop lying”
Well done, thanks for forcing a fucking person to come out and out me numerous times.
the only way I’ll come out in when I leave this fucking dungeon. now I can’t even like women anymore now cause i feel so disgusting....
i really need help to feel comfortable in being queer. im really going through a hard time and I need some support please.
#lesbian#asexual#lgbtq community#sapphic#lgbtqia#queer pride#queer community#i fucking wish I was straight oh my GOD#“oh last your crush broke your heart” yeah he fucking did but that is not the reason why i am GAY#when will they stop saying that I should try it out and with myself w a man...#it’s fucking hilarious cause i cry every fucking night watching a kpop boy group as unattainable men that i love ss a lesbian#wishing that I liked men when i know i fucking DON’T#“next time say you’re bi or in between” what the actual fuck?? I AM NOT FUCKING BI???? I am gay. I LIKE GIRLS#NOT BOYS. WHERE do you NOT UNDERSTAND??#“you’re watching kpop boy groups though? for someone whos gay they shouldn't be watching that?”#it’s unattainable men you dumb fuck. just like how lesbians can watch conan gray or post malone content#and like/love him as an artist but not ACTUALLY attracted to them cause they're GUYS. just like how lesbians can watch kpop boy groups but#not feel attraction to men at all. you appreciate them but it’s not fucking attraction. man when i say#i wish i was straight#“oh im supportive to the community” yet invalidate me like that? be serious for a second...#i fr wish i was straight and liked men cause GOD. living in a house w everyone knowing I’m gay#all my family knows... i hate how i never felt attraction to men. i just wanted a satisfying feeling but i just couldn’t. i was bullied#ALOT by men which is one of the reasons why i fucking have a hard time liking them. but no. would they understand? no. im gay whether you#remembering when i dated a boy and he automatically dumped me and i felt disgusting and he kept bullying me#lgbtqplus#lgbtqiia+#LMFAOOO SHE SAID IM “comfused” cause she keeps labeling me as bi
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k4katsujin · 11 months
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meet the admin post (*^▽^)/★*☆♪
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contains:
1- some things about me
2- my boundaries/ dni list
3- what i will write for!
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☆ 1- some things about me !
im a lonely pal named kaheri online
my irl name is cielle- i don't mind being called this online but 🧍🏻‍♀️ please call me that only if i say so/ we are close
im a transmasc demigender/agender or pangender really struggling to find my identity rn but 🧍🏻‍♀️ im gay and go by any pronouns (neos included :D) except she/her
huhh im also autistic, have adhd and bpd so please bare with me ( 。゚Д゚。)
i started writing ever since i was a kid and i crave online validation (/hj) so i decided to post online
atm i don't have a regular post schedule because if i did it'd be way too much pressure on my mental health so ( :゚皿゚) i try to at least post twice/three times a week but i ain't promising anything
+ don't be mad at me if there are any spelling mistakes im not a native speaker and ?? even though i was i wouldn't give a shit that's my blog 🤓 /lh
my requests are always open unless stated otherwise ! please refer to the third part for what i will write about :>
also speaking tones are very much appreciated 🫠 /lh
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☆ my boundaries/dni
dni stands for do not interact which means well i don't want people who do things above
homophobic/"neos aren't valid" people
"only cis women have their periods" ppl
adults‼️ following/liking/reblogging my stuff is more than ok but i draw the line at dming me
UNTITLED/BOTS LIKE BLOGS YALL GO STRAIGHT TO BLOCKLIST /nm
uhhhhhh thats all ? i'll update it later
oh and also "self diagnose isn't valid 🤓☝🏻" stfu you stupid ahh ableist
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☆ what i will write for!
i can write for pretty much anything but if it's not something from the list please provide me a little information on the characters because it won't be accurate if i do research on my own
SPIDERMAN INTO/ACROSS THE SPIDERVERSE OMG PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REQUEST ME STUFF FROM IT
i can write for any characters except the spot because well.
uhhh i most likely won't do full fics on demand except i reallyy like what you're proposing. also i won't write anything with gwen don't ask why i just really hated her behavior.
uhhh i can write both nsfw and sfw js specify :D also this goes without saying but if i write nsfw it will be in an aged up au!
the amazing world of gumball!
i loved this series ever since i was a child so <3 <3 OBVIOUSLY NO NSFW?!?! and hum yea hcs only
overwatch !
it was my previous hyperfixation so >:)
mmm i'll only write stuff for hanzo, mc cree, kiriko and- i forgot
yea i can write nsfw with no problem 🙆🏻‍♀️
south park omg
it was also one of my previous hyperfixations
so 🙆🏻‍♀️ huh ill only write for the four main characters and prob wendy 🕺🏻
aged up au if nsfw 🦅
CHAINSAW MAN
uhhh yea any characters but i didn't read latest chapters so yea ( ゚ロ゚)!!
nsfw ? idk i'll see
ok i think that's all? have a nice day ( ゚∀゚)人(゚∀゚ ) <3
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girlcavalcanti · 6 months
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❤️‍🔥 some-cat Follow
my gf is such a bitch like "I'll love you forever" she said?? whyd you lie to me. girl we Literally had a pact
🍷 girlclodiipulchris Follow
I'm not your gf
❤️‍🔥 some-cat Follow
bitch stfu you literally sell yourself on the streets I hope your traitorous backstabbing ass dies form hay fever
2,436 notes
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🍆 arte-regendus-amor Follow
im about to pull a number for the ages. check this out
🍆 arte-regendus-amor Follow
WE ALL SHOULD HAVE MORE NASTY SEX AND WE SHOULD GET WEIRDER WITH IT TOO. AND ALL THE "BUT THE MOS MAIORUM" BITCHES CAN SUCK MY DICK BECAUSE IDGAF AND YOU SHOULDN'T EITHER. UNTIL ME THERE WERE ONLY DUSTY HOES WITH STICKS UP THEIR ASSES SO ONLY LISYEN TO ME FOREVER AND FUCK THEIR SOULS AND I ALSO FUCKED AUGUSTUS' DAUGHTER AND HES NEVER GONNA FIND OUT
🍆 arte-regendus-amor Follow
see? not a mouse stirring. nothing to be heard from anyone. I can't be cancelled. I'm invulnerable. I'm unstoppable. you people adore me too much I could be saying the nastiest most off putting shit imaginable and you'd give 10 years of your mom's life for a thread from my toga. whores
📖 messssalla Follow
lmaoo op did he find out eventually?
📖 messssalla Follow
op????
96K notes
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🐝 bees-are-cool Follow
so! It's taking me longer than I expected to finish up my wip since I'm having trouble researching specific things about farming which I really really need (been working on it for 8 years now). but I've been kind of rotating aeneas lately so as soon as I'm done with it I'm gonna start to actually try and flesh out something about him. although it's probably gonna take me another whole decade lol
🍸 maecaenaes Follow
little homo idk who you are but I really dig your vibe and I wish I could bring you home and put you on a shelf
🐝 bees-are-cool Follow
thank
86 notes
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⚛️ epicurus-enjoyer Follow
Rumors might have reached you about my alleged suicide. It very much is just gossip. I regrettably inform you that I am still alive and physically thriving
748 notes
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⚔️ n-ius Follow
what the hell just happened
my whole blog is. not there anymore?? like completely wiped out????
what the fvck. @ staff @ staff @ staff please, please can you do something about it?
39 notes
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🩸 your-local-necromancer Follow
I was tagged by @senekant! here's my Pinterest home board :))
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🍃 senekant Follow
you're a literal freak
1 note
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🍆 arte-regendus-amor Follow
a poor wretch makes one (1) tiny insignificant error (1) like one mistake (1) and Շђєภ ђє ђคร Շ๏ Շคɭк ɭเкє Շђเร Ŧ๏г Շђє гєรՇ ๏Ŧ єՇєгภเՇץ
#guys I'm playing the jester and all #because that's what I do #but I seriously think this is Not gonna end well for me this time #theres literal arrows flying over the rooftops here
9,814 notes
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jiminrings · 3 years
Note
I REQUEST A SOFT BADBOY DRABBLE WITH SHY READER AND HES TEASING HER BUT SOMEONE ELSE JOIMS IN AND THEYRE DOING IT TO BE MEAN BUT HES LIKE STFU BEFORE I PUMCH UR FACE ONLY IM ALLOWED TO BULLY SHY READER GRR 😡😡😡😡 and soft readers like 0.o but *squeals incoherently* 😭😭😭😭
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last name, jeon.
drabble week: day two
drabble week masterlist
pairing: badboy!jungkook x shy!reader
wordcount: 3k
glimpse: "can't you tell that i really don't want you to be here?"
notes: a tiny change on the plot!! also: frat boy!jimin from day four makes an appearance :D
feedback + support mean the world to me!!
“do you wanna form-“
... yes
you DO have an alliance with jungkook
it's a very fair trade honestly
he pretends to be your boyfriend!! there's no specific boundaries to it, but he springs into action as soon as you're put into an inconvenience
in exchange, you whore him out to your friends!!! :D
no but literally that's how he called it
the whole reason this came to be in the first place is because you hATE confrontation with a burning passion
especially when it comes to those "i have a crush on you" moments that people spring on you all of a sudden
you don't like them back!!! that's the truth!!! but the problem is that you aLWAYS feel guilty letting people down
you obviously don't have the obligation to like someone back just because you sit next to them in class :// IT'S JUST IN YOUR NATURE TO FEEL THAT WAY
you wouldn't get into a relationship with said confessor to ease your guilt, clearly
do you plan on denying their advances? yes
but hOW????
you always take the passive-aggressive approach
you get jungkook to carry your bag and hold your hand, walk in front of said person and pretend not to see them, jungkook makes sURE to put some snide eye contact in there aaaaand the whole ordeal is finished :D
you've managed to let someone down slowly without having to speak to them in-person!!!
jungkook comes more handy than that too
you take him when you want to eat out because you're too anxious to eat alone
you take him when you want to go somewhere in which lining up is essential and you're also too anxious to stand by yourself
you take him when you want to go shopping when there's a sale but you're almost always intimidated by the barrage of people and salespeople so he asks and answers the questions for you
jungkook, in hindsight, is the perfect fake boyfriend for you <3
ALSO jungkook wants something from you
"whore me out to the girls from the families your family's friends with, and it's a deal :D"
that alliance and exchange is going pretty well so far
you mAY be on the more-reserved side but that doesn't mean you're self-aware!!!
you know that your parents are loaded and your shy nature could be somehow chalked to that since you didn't really have anyone that wasn't as non-superficial as you'd like, since they were the overprotective helicopter two-rotor seven-blade parents :(((
jungkook, however, is the only constant you have in your formula
you've known him since childhood and have been friends ever since
his mom's your mom's personal assistant, and one day when mrs. jeon couldn't find a babysitter for jungkook, your mom didn't hesitate to let four-year old jungkook come with her to work
jungkook's your fIRST actual friend that hates gold spoons with you because of how tacky they look :-) he's your emotional support person basically
your emotional support person who was sO close to running late from picking you up during his free day >:( you were about to break into a sprint if he arrived a second later, because you managed to spot a jock coming to you from the corner of your eye awhile ago
You Do Not Like Him <3
"and i even changed into a short-sleeved shirt to ward off your suitors. how romantic of me, don't you think?"
now that he mentions it, it's only now when you can drink him in in full-display
... wow
his right arm's the only one with his tattoos while his left's completely blank, but something about the balance just makes you !!!!!!!! even more
his arm's not completely covered but it was coming to be, something about the blank spaces of skin that are yet to be inked being a nice touch
"very romantic, kook."
now tHAT'S the answer he wanted to hear
he forcibly on your helmet for you to showcase, your grunts of annoyance being drowned out by whistling
(he's even looking left and right and making eye contact with anyone who has their eyes landing on you!!!!)
your cheeks smushed is a look he'll never be tired being in awe of, but he'll never tell you that, of course
"do you ever wonder if your parents would kill me if i misplace even a single hair on you?" jungkook thinks out loud and you don't even flinch with how sudden his thoughts could be, sitting on his seat first so it'd already be balanced when you do, "you sure you’re okay riding with me?? on a motorcycle????"
he usually uses yOUR family's vehicles (they let him and insisted he just takes one at this point) but when you called him, he was en route to kim kradle (it's a one-stop vehicle shop apparently) to get new rims for his motorcycle, bUT NOT ANYMORE HE GUESSES????
you come first compared to the booking he's waited on for three weeks
"i have insurance, i think."
no that's the wrong answer
why did you even bother.,,.,
jungkook flicks your nose because your forehead's protected by the helmet, his face contorted in half faux frustration
"you were supposed to be mad at me for asking that — not logical!! don't even joke about that."
"... my life insurance? like, in the instance that i-"
oW THAT HURT
he flicked even harder this time!!!
you roll your eyes at him and it doesn't go unnoticed, a hand outstretching instead of his fingers flexing
“wallet, please.”
????
jungkook's surprised that you even look confused, this time rolling his eyes at you
“you rolled your eyes at me. you need to bribe me so i won’t rat you out.”
right
he has a never-ending knack for the you're rich jokes
you also know that he likes the cold and would turn the fan on even if it's too hot for a blanket, just because he wants to feel cocooned
you also know that he picks from the fourth row of drinks from the front because it's always been a habit
("the germs cling on to the first row!!!")
you also know that maybe, just maybe, you can't stand it tonight when he's putting himself out there instead of being your faux boyfriend
you keep on zoning out and hoseok, perhaps the only tolerable fellow rich kid you can tolerate within your circle, finally connects the dots in his head and snickers
he's been talking about finding the vintage sneakers he's always wanted on depop and how he almost got scammed for like tWENTY minutes already
in reality, all your nods and scowls aren't towards his story
it's to jungkook and... who's that? jihye whose dad is so colossally shitty, that this one rapper wrote a diss song for him? oh yeah, that jihye
"you like him. like actually 'lose your virginity to him' love him."
WHAT???
there's no way
"how did you-"
"you blush like one."
alright that answer was too quick
hoseok should've ATLEAST tried to wait for a few seconds before answering
"a-and the love part?"
"babe, jungkook may not be the richest one here and that should say a lot," you peer up at him nervously and he actually chuckles, peering to everyone at this function, "dude's humble — he could also just be dense to not see you love him."
okay very true
hobi's making a dig rn at how jungkook coinicidentaally happens to be blonde and maybe this is your cue to leave
hobi does not realize that his hair is aLSO dyed blonde while talking shit about jungkook and his hari
okay this is it
once again, you are NOT listening to hoseok and he's figured out what you're doing by now
you're psyching yourself up with a couple of shots and your heels are digging on the carpeted ballroom
MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY TO BE MORE OUTGOING!!
"pretend to wobble. it doesn't help that nothing can sink you."
oh okay makes sense
if you're gonna try and charm jungkook while trying to play it off as just being tipsy playfulness, atleast make it believable
hoseok snickers because this is just A+ content with the things that you choose to do in your way
shy girl with high alcohol tolerance mannn coming of age film writers would LOVE you ://
you're about to cross the distance between you and jungkook, but something knocks you on your shoulder with a gentle force that seemed intentional
is that-
hold on a second
"what a coincidence :O"
jimin?
jimin???
as in, wholesome yet slightly fuckboy-ish frat guy jimin???
he looks dashing and composed, meeting your eyes perfectly and he doesn't let your confusion startle him
"i know that look. what am i doing here?"
he says it eloquently as if he's practiced it
AND HE DID!!!
you must've looked so shocked that you immediately apologized, shaking your head no
"i-i didn’t mean-..."
you're confused, sure, but that doesn't mean you're immediately judging
it's just that you never saw jimin here or any function of the like, but you wouldn't put it past him if he does go to these things!!! he looks like a million dollars anyways
"relax, doll. you’re so far the only other person i know that i've seen in these type of things."
he looks calm and collected, but maybe that's just because he spent the last five minutes waiting for you to stand so he could bump into you
this place is just sO suffocating and a familiar face is gonna be his relief from something so fancy that it became mundane
"have we been in the same event before this?"
"not that i recall, no. i get invited but this is only the first time after awhile that i went."
jimin drinks from his champagne flute, wiggling his eyebrows playfully, "wanna know why i'm here?"
you're curious!!! what can you say!!!!
you never really interacted with jimin at all before this, but a familiar face like his is comforting
because hoseok's already engaged in another conversation and jungkook's,,,, being jungkook and is fawning all over jihye
jimin chuckles at your insistent nodding, leaning closer to whisper to your ear
"my stepdad’s loaded as fuck."
oh so that's why
he tugs you down to sit at the nearest possible empty chairs, all its occupants gone anyways because they're in the dancefloor busting tRULY horrendous moves
maybe it's because jimin feels lonely too like you are, and it's him feeling comfortable because he's pulled you like ten seconds ago and not once asked him anything out of bounds
maybe that's why he fell into conversation with you easily because you're always intently listening
"might love me as a real son too. maybe that’s a bonus? you don’t really expect that shit in the things you see."
this situation is actually pretty cute
you snort because maybe you’re nOT that shy when you drink,, that’s the only thing that changes in you probably
this whole conversation that sprung from boredom was unknowingly the subject of many stares, including jungkook who you were initially supposed to go to
“you’re worthy of love, jimin.”
:O
jimin sPITS his drink because where the fuck did THAT come from???
why did you say that and why does he feel that he needed to hear that
“i-i think — i think you need more,” he raises his own glass to your lips hurriedly, caught in surprise but you still gulp nonetheless
“you’re-“ you keep sputtering as he keeps making you drink, but he rubs circles on your back at the same time and it's when you realize that jimin the frat guy may not be that bad, “what??? don’t think you’re not the only one with daddy issues! shouldn’t we have like, a radar for each other?”
jimin snorts at your counter and his eyes crinkle to the point where he can't see anything, not being able to see how you're still trying to recover with all that fizz down your throat
wow ur really enjoyable to talk to
“you’re insane and i think-“
listen
you're not really big on feeling beyond a sense and all that stuff, but you feel as if the aura around you just got dark all of a sudden
"who are you calling insane?"
jungkook appears at your side in an instant, hands wrapped around your shoulders while you remain seated
you've honestly forgotten that you were supposed to go to jungkook, but you're reminded of that vERY clearly now
"go away, jimin," he mutters through his teeth, looking at him dead in the eye
hold on
wait
THAT'S JIMIN???
okay now he's confused
sometimes jungkook's mouth just moves on its own without loading the thought process
"why are YOU here?"
jimin furrows his brows, shocked that he'd even see jungkook here out of all people
the guy barely even attends classes!!! and that's coming from him!!
"why’s he here?"
he crouches to your ear, eyes still furrowed at the younger guy
"long story."
nO???
jungkook scowls bitterly because jesus fuck
YOU’RE ON WHISPERING TERMS NOW????
he left for one second, and the moment he comes back, that's when this fucking frat guy approaches you?? was he waiting on him to leave??
you and jungkook only act as a couple when the need arises, and even if you don't feel it, hE feels that this is the need!!! this is the need and it is arising!!!
"get back to uh, alpha bravo charlie or something, park. beat it."
why’s he reciting the nato phonetic alphabet???
jungkook sounds half-angry and half-sad at the same time, and you don't know which side should you focus on
“move,” he repeats this time again but more sternly, making jimin much more confused since jungkook's trying to pull him away from his seat
jimin doesn't budge and it makes the frown even more evident in jungkook's face
what is he FEELING
“can’t you tell that i really don’t want you to be here?”
“i’m not here for you, though. i’m here for y/n.”
he answers honestly, shis gut telling him that there's definitely something going on between the two of you
“y/n doesn’t want you here," kook argues back surely, only noticing your bitten lips now that makes him realize that you're not exactly sober; just a happy kind of rush
he sees you raise your hand timidly, an equally cheeky smile on your face that's only directed to jungkook like it's meant for him
"i-i actually don’t mind."
you don't,,,
you don't mind?
HOW'S THAT POSSIBLE
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
why aren't you signaling him to commence the faux boyfriend act!!
"y/n has a boyfriend."
“... i’m not hitting on her.”
alright this is more than the entertainment that jimin wished for lol
“yeah, well she has a boyfriend still so beat it.”
you do??
the last time you checked, jihye's gonna have jungkook as her boyfriend within the night!!
“i don-“
ALRIGHT THEN
jimin decides to indulge jungkook, knocking his knee with yours as he winks slyly, urging you silently to watch on, turning to look at you and ask
“what’s your boyfriend’s name?”
you don't answer.
that gives him all the more reason to do so.
“last name, jeon.”
jungkook looks the most determined you've ever seen him, eyes characteristically angry with his arms across his chest that his suit tightens, “first name, me.”
....
......
the three of you know that’s not the truth
jimin takes it in, sighing when he sense that something else is about to be unfold and he does noT want to be a part of it
not before whispering to your ear again for the last time, of course
“pretty weird name if you ask me,” you laugh automatically, momentarily forgetting that jungkook's standing by you on just your opposite side and could hear you
he leaves and that only leaves you with jungkook, looking up at him as he's too frantic to even sit
“what are you doing?”
“being a social butterfly," you quip just as fast, drinking your water afterwards
jungkook only clenches his jaw by then, being taken-aback when you speak again
“who are you doing?”
://
“i’m busy being mad at- wait a minute, WHO???”
who instead of what??
the short-lived enthusiasm you had with jimin left with him, crashing just as hard when you're reminded of jungkook's presence
“jihye’s a pretty nice girl. you should go home early tonight.”
his brows furrow, trying to get you to look at him but you avoid his gaze insistently, “what? what are you talking about?”
“she’s not my girlfriend though.”
you're not at all satisfied with the answer because it sounds so wrong, knowing that jungkook's a handsome guy and everyone wants to be with him!!!
and he probably wants to be with everyone else besides you.
“then who-...”
“don’t know yourself anymore? jimin must’ve really swept you off your feet, huh?”
jungkook huffs as he qualifies for a rebutt, your internal wallowing being cut short
“he’s not my boyfriend.”
...
....
“well would you look at that,” jungkook snickers, sighing through his nose as your eyes finally meet his, directly stubborn yet soft around the edges
“she’s not my girlfriend, and he’s not your boyfriend. what a coincidence.”
god did he feel so threatened the moment his eyes couldn't find you besides hobi and instead next to jimin, eyes crinkled in laughter without hesitation
have you been chasing after one another this whole time?
jungkook silently grabs you by the hand and you wave no opposition to it
maybe it's your liquor-influenced vision or maybe it's you hyperfixating on such a warm moment, but your eyes immediately lock to see the matching red thread bracelet he wore like yours
you're dressed in next year's spring collection line, and the structured silk black gown that has a train behind it doesn't exactly scream to have a simple red thread bracelet as its accessory according to your mom's designer and everyone else —
but you don't have the heart to take it off
there's no need to take it off
jungkook drives your car and no one says a single thing about anything
his hand’s on your thigh and you don’t question it, eyes locking into the way his hand looks perfect and the way the bracelet looks meant to be wrapped in his wrist in the first place
you're sure this time that it's not the newfound courage you have, but rather the need to do it
you kiss jungkook's cheek on a red light.
it's on a red light that jungkook realizes he could fit the visage of his world within one hand, finally kissing you like he's always wanted to
“yeah. what a coincidence.”
605 notes · View notes
khaleesiofalicante · 3 years
Note
OK MY ELECTRICITY WENT BUT IM HERE WITH MY LIVE BLOG. Im also wearing a tiara i found during cleaning at 2 38 am...
LXI'S STILL HAVING THOSE DREAMS
You see, that’s how Lexi functioned. Unlike Selena who had a weekly planner with her name doodled on it, Lexi didn’t like having a schedule. She would decide what she wanted to do when she wanted it.
SAME LEXI SAME
IM SORRY IF THIS IS MSOTLY IN CAPS IM TOO EXCITED
lexi
lexi why are you in pain
what what what
whats happening
im freaking out
GEORGIA
There were six of them. Each handle in one colour of the pride flag.
gimme
THE ACADEMY
NO NO NO
these demons can talk as well.
that's what bothers me the most
CLARY STFU YOU KNOW DAMN WELL YOU FOUGHT A WAR AT 15. I know she's worried for valid reasons but im losing it right now.
calm its ok its gonna be ok
georgia collecting the ichor-
i love her so much
Lexi didn’t think it was possible, but the sight somehow made her gayer than before.
me every time i look at amy or rosa from b99
OLIVIA
“Of course you are not dying!” Lexi said severely. “Neither one of us is allowed to die before we finish binging Game of Thrones.”
with the major character death tag right there
dont make me think of georgia getting sick
dont
The bar was extremely low for shadowhunters.
yes it is
OH MULTIPLE POVS
RAFAEL
did i just sob "my child" ?
maybe i did
im so proud of him
LEAVE ME ALONE
wait but in tid sophie was over the age of ascention too
WAIT HOW OLD WAS SOPHIE AT THE AGE OF ASCENTION
WAIT OMG SOPHIE WAS YOUNG
I FORGOT ABOUT THAT
“Life is too short for bad blood,”
yeah. yeah it is
i still really like camilla
He could go to Mexico right now. His heart wanted to do it. His body screamed at him to do it.
It wasn’t the distance that was the problem. He had two warlocks at home. He had a bike. He had money to buy a plane ticket.
It wasn’t the distance at all. Rafael would walk to Mexico for her if necessary.
i screamed so loud here i was grateful for the closed door
CHAIRMAN MEOW
CYUKGUCDGYMDYUD
THE PRECIOUS CAT
WHAT IF THE MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH IS ABOUT CHAIRMAN???
“Y’all really be acting as if portals are like a bag of Cheetos!” Max pointed out seriously. “It ain’t $2.50, bro! Do you have any idea the energy it takes to make a portal? What people actually pay for it? I can’t be making portals for free. I don’t get a salary from the Clave like you do. This is how I make a living!”
SO TRUE
“I was going to say you should go stay at the institute with David,” Rafael said. “But you are right. You are not a baby. You can stay here on your-”
“On second thoughts,” Max interrupted with a grin. “I’m still a fetus in warlock years so I will go the institute.”
THEY ARE SO PRECIOUS
AHHH HE CALLED HER PRETTY THE FIRST TIME HE SAW HER
THEY WERE 7
IM SCREAMING SO MUCH RIGHT NOW
my throat hurts
JAIME MY BABY
Y'ALL I MISSED HIM SO MUCH
“All thanks to the amazing Isabelle Lightwood,” Jaime replied. “I think I am a little in love with her.”
“Who isn’t?” Rafael chuckled.
we all are in love with isabelle lightwood
no no no
where's anjali
where is she
dont fuck with me right now
why does diego look like a mess
“Diego,” the woman rasped. “She is coughing up blood again.”
no
dont
it's chapter 1
stop making me cry
THE LIGHTWOOD SIBLINGS
YUSDFGYUSDFSDGYUD
if anyone gives izzy shit for this i'll kill them
JACE STOP GOING SO FAST
“Jace, if you want to a baby so much then grow your own damn uterus,” Isabelle snapped.
TELL HIM
THIS GOES OUT TO THE WHOLE MALE POPULATION
After Georgia’s birth, they had promised each other that they would always choose the children first. If it ever came to a point, as it often did in their lives, where they had to choose between themselves and the children – they had promised each other to save the children.
dude theres a major character death here
Jace thought for a moment and then grinned at her. “No uterus. No opinion.”
“Selena has trained you well,”
selena my smart feminist child
I JUST KNOW ONE OF THE LIGHTWOOD-BANES IS DYING
AND IM NOT OK
“Do you really need those?” Alec asked, pointing at the glasses.
“No,” Jace replied. “But Clary thinks I look hot with glasses.”
“You two are ridiculous,” Alec shook his head.
Jace turned around. “Really? And your beard is for character building, is it?”
there's no use lying alec we all know why it's really there
I KNOW WHAT LEUKEMIA IS SHUT THE FUCK UP IM LOSING MY SHIT
no
no
she cant die
IF SHE DIES I WILL RAISE HELL
my throat hurts from all the shouting
“Can I get a cinnamon latte with extra cream and two sugars please?” Alec asked.
Jace raised an eyebrow.
“Magnus had a long day at the Spiral Labyrinth,” Alec explained.
“Can’t he just magic his drink?”
“Well, yes,” Alec replied. “But I like buying it for him. It’s called being a good husband.”
aww that's so sweet
THIS IS HILARIOUS
“I’m saying no one can do better than David,” Jace huffed. “He is precious.”
tru
“If you are going to be this way, things are going to be very awkward at their wedding,” Jace muttered.
“They are not getting married, Jace!”
“Do you not want them to???”
“They are nineteen!!”
“Doesn’t mean we are not allowed to think about it,” Jace pointed out. “If they get married, we will be family!”
“We are already family!” Alec all but yelled.
“Yeah, but we will be even closer!” Jace sighed happily.
“You are my parabatai!” Alec said incredulously. “My soul is literally tied to yours! How closer do you want to get?”
THIS IS AMAZING
OH MY GOD I LOVE
JACE BEING OVER PROTECTIVE OVER SELENA DATING SOMEONE IM LOSING MY SHIT
wait how old is michael
"Oh my god,” Jace gasped. “Three out of three! I win!”
“It’s not a competition, Jace!” Alec rolled his eyes.
“It is and I won,” Jace grinned. “You’re welcome, LGBTQ+ community.”
YUP JACE WON
“Can we talk about something else?” Izzy demanded. “We are not those parents who only ever talk about their children.”
Alec cleared his throat. “Right. Of course.”
“Yeah, we have lives of our own,” Jace nodded seriously.
They drove quietly for a while before they started discussing about their children’s love lives again right up until Jace pulled over at Jade Wolf.
of course...
Lily’s face was pale – paler than usual.
lily what's wrong
please lily
anjali...
lily is close to her
of course
“Then we burn all the angels,” Lily growled.
YES YES YES YES
Jace walked in that moment, sipping from his latte. “I bought donuts, y’all!”
A chuckle escaped Magnus. “Jonathan. Your timing is impeccable.”
"Is everything okay?” Jace asked, looking troubled.
“No,” Maia replied. “But at least we have donuts.”
at least they have donuts
“I love you,” he mouthed, and Alec’s heart was okay for a moment.
THE FEELS
ISABELLE
NO NO NO
NO
IZZY
PLEASE
WHY IS EVERY POV ENDING LIKE THIS
They had put on their clothes
AHEM SIR-
they grow up so fast...
no
im crying
dont please
izzy
she was poisoned
oh my god
WHO
GIVE ME NAMES RIGHT NOW
Rafael drank like a dozen a day.
understandable have a good day
OH MY GOD STOP JOKING AS A COPING MECHANISM
Im squeezing the life out of Emma (my emotional support stuffed cat) right now
seelies
the first time i heard the source was angelic my very first incstinct was seelie. I didn't wanna share it because of how absurd it sounded. but it doesn't anymore.
charlotte was poisoned by a seelie unintentionally which cost her her child
oh
OH MY GOD
NO THIS WASN'T IZZY'S COFFEE
MAGNUS GAVE IT TO HER
THIS WAS MAGNUS' COFFEE
SOMEONE WAS TRYING TO POISON HIM.
I'm losing my mind oh my god... I am so scared. Please Anjali and Isabelle please they cant...no i dont wanna think like that. tryna take deep breaths. ok. it's gonna be ok. maybe.
see ya friday!
Now I want to write lbaf while wearing a tiara. Hmmmm. I'll look for one online.
See you Friday! Also hope you had a good birthday!!!
And send pics of Emma!!!!!!!
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Killer Queen (Social Media AU) - Chapter 4
Summary: This is just my marauders fic but in social media form. Check the original on my account under the same name (Killer Queen) to see the blurb and shit. Yes it’s the same plot lmao. I made this entirely on impulse.
Warning(s): none
Word Count: 914
Inspiration: The Boy Who Killed God by SeraMGrigori on AO3, Sweet Things by Cocomouse on AO3, Peacocks by yellowbeesknees on Wattpad, Dandelions by asthelysian on Wattpad, Texts from an Unknown Number by GaryOldman on AO3
Taglist: @briarrose26
Ask/comment to be on my taglist! Let me know if it’s for a specific fandom(s) or series. Full list is in my bio.
new tweet from pleasecallmeruth
pleasecallmeruth can you believe marlene pushed me out of bed this morning for literally no reason
- marlsmckinnon it was for your own good
 - pleasecallmeruth it really hurt me
  - marlsmckinnon I didn't even push you that hard jfc
   - pleasecallmeruth nah not physically hurt. emotionally. im bruised marlene.
    - marlsmckinnon cry about it bby
- marlsmckinnon anyways it weren't even my idea
 - pleasecallmeruth I know I still havent forgiven you dorcas
  - certified_dork sweetie I already apologised. you were gonna be late otherwise.
   - pleasecallmeruth don't even talk to me meadowes youre dead to me
    - notaflower can you all get off of twitter and actually socialise like normal people
     - pleasecallmeruth why would we do that
      - notaflower we're literally eating breakfast together ACTUALLY TALK TO EACH OTHER
       - certified_dork that's us told lmao
marauders innit
pleasecallmeruth, jamesblack, siriuspotter, loonylupin & pettygrew
pleasecallmeruth
um wtf
siriuspotter
what
pleasecallmeruth
where are you all
jamesblack
great hall
pleasecallmeruth
without me
jamesblack
not our fault you take ages to get ready lmao
pleasecallmeruth
well im sorry darling but it takes time to look this fabulous
new story update from pleasecallmeruth
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new tweet from loonylupin
loonylupin I hate when people ask why I'm concerned about my friends when this morning ruth actually had to check her phone to see what day it is
- pleasecallmeruth would you rather I turn up to the wrong lessons moony
 - loonylupin I'd rather you just know what day it is like everybody else
direct message between
siriuspotter & pleasecallmeruth
pleasecallmeruth
hey you alright?
siriuspotter
yeah ofc why do you ask
pleasecallmeruth
you sure? cos when minnie came over earlier and asked us about our summers and all that you definitely didn't look alright
siriuspotter
im fine honestly please don't worry
pleasecallmeruth
well I am worrying
siriuspotter
well you know how it is back home
not much you can do about it so please just don't
pleasecallmeruth
okay I'm sorry darling I'll drop it alright?
siriuspotter
its all gucci you don't need to apologise
new tweet from loonylupin
loonylupin lmao the way binns made a seating plan for the first time in his afterlife and yet he still put sirius and ruth next to each other right behind me
- jamesblack exactly what I was thinking mate cos im right next to pete in the back corner lmao
 - pettygrew don't knock it lads
- notaflower we're not gonna get any work done this year are we
 - alice.in.wonderland babe you say that as if you give two shits about history of magic
  - notaflower stfu bro
new tweet from pleasecallmeruth
pleasecallmeruth is it really a history of magic class if sirius fucking black doesn't spend the whole class flirting with literally anyone in the near vicinity
- siriuspotter well what else am I supposed to do in that lesson? learn?? don't be silly
 - pleasecallmeruth talk to me bitch im bored as fuck sitting here in silence smh
direct message between
loonylupin & pleasecallmeruth
pleasecallmeruth
remus
remus
remus
moony
remus
moony
moony
lupin
oi you wanker look at your fucking phone
loonylupin
you didn't need to throw that paper plane to get my attention
pleasecallmeruth
well apparently I did
loonylupin
why can't you just talk to me ffs
pleasecallmeruth
oh don't start I already had that lecture from lily this morning
loonylupin
she always had more sense than you
pleasecallmeruth
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loonylupin
what did you want anyways
pleasecallmeruth
can you talk to idania
loonylupin
who
pleasecallmeruth
the girl sitting next to you
you dumb fuck
loonylupin
um why
pleasecallmeruth
why?? bitch what planet are you on
loonylupin
??
pleasecallmeruth
omfg give me strength
remember from about 5 fucking minutes ago when binns called her name in the register but she's deaf so she didn't know and I told her what was going on and then she looked fucking mortified??
loonylupin
ok ok I get the picture thank you
pleasecallmeruth
I just don't want her to be freaking out internally all by herself
loonylupin
ugh fine ill pass her a note or smth and see if she wants to chat
happy now?
pleasecallmeruth
yes thanks
marauders innit
pleasecallmeruth, jamesblack, siriuspotter, loonylupin & pettygrew
pleasecallmeruth
lads look at remus
jamesblack
very secretive
pleasecallmeruth
what
jamesblack
you know he's on this gc right
pleasecallmeruth
just look at him and you'll see why that isn't worrying me
pettygrew
yeah I don't think he's getting his phone out any time soon
jamesblack
bloody hell remus is talking to a girl?
siriuspotter
will wonders never cease
pettygrew
ruth is this your doing
pleasecallmeruth
might be
it was more for her than anyone else
she seemed a bit meh yk
pettygrew
yeah I get you
accidental matchmaking innit
loonylupin
excuse me it wasn't like that
pleasecallmeruth
sure darling
loonylupin
it really wasn't
jamesblack
you keep telling yourself that mate
A/N: I haven't made up a username for idania yet but I probably will at some point. I hope you enjoyed this chapter (I just realised how long it was compared to the other ones jfc) and I'll see you next time! toodles
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im angrier this time? netflix shadow and bone s1e7 re-watch (substituting alcohol with iced coffee this time) (oh, also, spoilers)
yes jesper shooting ketterdam cards title card omg I straight up forgot that this was the darkling backstory episode we all know I love bin bons as much as the next person but um can we petition to never see the flashback darkling look again I kind of love Luda but I find the entire backstory kind of unnecessary even though I get why they did it okay mr. barnes king of micro-expressions alright fuck you show makers with you breaking my heart showing me how the Grisha have had to go through this countless times that they have their plans memorized oy dumbass otkazat'sya man you speak the darkling's name with some respect alright I've got to accept the tricck they use against the king's men is pretty cool omg you fucking bitch this is exactly why people say acab I've seen people say why couldn't he have broken his bonds and killed them before they killed Luda and I truly believe a) he didn't want to kill unnecessarily and b) Luda's life was at stake so like I get it okay so I don't like the 'just mortal' thing they brought it to sort of drive darklina soulmates agenda home because lmao that is not why okay I get Baghra's points but I don't like her, she like made more sense in the books her position on merzost is true to the books but like her pacifist stance is not the same and it just doesn't make sense okay I like the poc tidemaker in their company the score when the king's men soon to be volcra confront the darkling is impeccable that blast of darkness that we see spread outwards from him was very cool dunno how I feel about him hyperventilating and the fold flowing from him like an inky black liquid god, the score when baghra asks alek 'what did you do' is so eerie and beautiful that transition was on fucking point HOW IS KANEJ IS SO ON POINT I SIMPLY CANNOT the Inej Jesper bond is so beautiful I love it okay I love and hate how they refer to Inej's horrible time at the Menagerie so briefly and yet try to add so much impact to it omg why is Jesper about to make me cry cut to Malina huddled together? okay, show god I hate how the amplifier storyline is so incredibly poorly developed the stag is so beautiful I can't 'maybe there's another way to do this'?! again with the sgegehshshsjsjs I hate it here, fucking explain it at least okay fine the shot of Alina lighting up as she touches the stag and smiling with the soft violin in the back was beautiful now time to say bye to the stag and cry I guess okay I love zoya, she feels very authentic to book 1 zoya with maybe a few tweaks we love to see a man with plot armour uwu okay Alina my fucking queen taking out the arrow would cause him to bleed out faster why would you do that the dumbassery okay alek you overdramatic bitch I LOVED THE LIGHT SHIELD lmao I'm gonna cry at how nasal and supervillain-y the Darkling sounds when he says 'you can't save them all Alina' like okay king maybe that line could have better delivery I'm so sorry I love you so much I'm still a BB stan 'you've lost too much blood' maybe if you wouldn't have taken the arrow out you dumbass 'you said you wouldn't hurt him' nobody said that Alina but I get it you've been through a lot you're obviously not thinking love the cut, she's always cool 'miss starkov' you're in tsarist russia stfu ono I'm not prepared for this Kanej scene I need several minutes they're so perfect 'Jesper fixed your cane' I see you writers thinking they're clever omg Amita shivering from the cold babe I'm so proud of you you're so incredibly cool I love his little jaw movements before he says 'you were right' and her composing herself before turning around due to the shock of hearing these words from Kaz's mouth okay we've all talked about the voice break when he says 'she's real' so I will not dwell on it but it was beautiful the little head bend after he says 'and you' as if catching himself before saying 'and jesper' yes sir that was very convincing AAAAAHHHH IT'S HAPPENING I CAN'T COPE yeah okay fuck you I'm crying Kaz's expression at 'I can't go back to the Menagerie' being literally 'I can't believe
you think I'll ever let that happen' you fucking idiots I hate you and how much you love each other you are disgusting David so much so as breathes I love him Him saying 'Im going to place this around your neck' comedic genius David looks so sad my baby angel it's not your fault get that man's true name out of your mouth Starkov you're not supposed to know it let alone say it in front of other people aleksander this is the first time I've truly disliked you, you fucking asshole, Alina my love please don't believe him (why am I saying it like I haven't read the books and watched this already) LUKE HAVING ACTUAL TEARS IN HIS EYES AS HE PLACES THE ANTLERS AT HER NECK WHY IS HE SO GOOD AAAAAAAAA I didn't notice Ivan slowing her heart on my first watch, is that to reduce the pain ouch I am even more sad now okay Jessie you did it again Emmy time for all of these people okay the violin being sad and terrifying this is so good Luke being sad, Jessie literally crying I fucking can't do this anymore 'this is my power' 'but now I control it' really? that was the best you could do at this scene that is meant to have this great of an impact? him sort of pushing her down made me even more upset I'm so mad right now Freddie's microexpression with the eye when Inej says 'Jes has a point' Jessie looks so perfectly shell-shocked, I love them so so much the prosthetic's so gross, I love it so much DAISY HEAD IS THE PERFECT GENYA I WILL ACCEPT NO COMPLAINTS She brought me to tears and I love it Alina pointing out the Darkling's role in Genya's circumstances this early on, we love to see a well deserved call out it seemed very unlikely to me that Kaz would agree to go home empty handed but I do think it would make sense to cut their losses at a certain point I love the Kribirsk camp sets far too much, they seem to have literally leapt out of the books the darkling coming to see Mal seems very fanservice-ey and not at all adding to the plot in any way but I love it Archie bringing that youthful brashness to Mal that we all know he would have is wonderful mal calling the darkling 'shadow man' lmao I'm gonna cry 'you are a child' yeah Alek babe it's best you don't talk about that Alina is of the same age as he is I wanna go to Ben Barnes' school of nose acting because god damn Archie perfectly bringing to life Mal's realisation of the impact that Alina's immortality will bring to their life together oof sir you don't understand how perfect it is that Ben's eyes are actually that dark 'you'll wish you killed me here' it's okay honey you lost this one the Crows being the Crows I love them can we please have Jesper wearing the Zemeni man's red suit be a stepping stone to him wearing fancy clothes of outrageous colours like lime green and orange in the six of crows timeline because the fans will lose their shit and you know it Inej looking fucking fabulous in her suit I can't Kanej smiling at their crazy little bi son's antics okay can we talk about Milo literally saving the day because writer's room im looking at you you're a bunch of crazy mfers and I love you but I also hate you also I get that Mal's a tracker but would he actually have food in his pocket I know this joke has been made before but like Mal pretending to be asleep after waking the guard up is every teenager pretending to be asleep when their parents come to check on them in the middle of the night omg it's the scene those beautiful gauzy curtains at the door of the tent, I want them so bad 'you are special' he says standing stiffly at the door with a creepy inflection why am I suddenly an anti wtf I want his kefta so bad though 'my parents' I love that the show added her losing her parents to him as well because well it makes him even more villanous in her eyes doesn't it no matter what she might have felt for him uwu first fight as a couple (I'm kidding please stop) I love Jessie as Alina so much darkles don't even go off comparing being Grisha to being half-shu you can't compare experiences of being the other that interchangeably yes baby call him out on his
hypocrisy man I'm so conflicted like I understand his motivations and his story so well but like how is this helping okay but Alina's expression changing ever so slightly at him saying 'you and me' stop breaking my fucking heart assholes why is Jessie breaking my heart more on this watch than Ben did on the first one I knew it before he said it but I still gasped when he did on my first watch the little head tilt after he says it still with tears in his fucking eyes man I love this show this was the most devastating break up I have ever experienced and I will not accept any counter arguments okay actual villain time we love to see it sir please don't erotically remove her cloak you have long lost the right again I knew it before they said it but them saying it had me screaming WHAT A GLORIOUS EPISODE
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Oliver! (1968) Live (re) watch!
i have already seen oliver!, but not in ages, so i decided to watch it again, enjoy
very long post warning
fuckin hell these opening credits are LONG
i love the fact instrumentals of songs in the movie are playing
i have chocolate popcorn, apple lucozade and oliver! on, life is good
yes i know mark lester is oliver ive seen this like 20 times can i watch the film now
OH ABOUT FUCKING TIME
god is love
IS IT WORTH THE WAITING FOR IF WE LIVE TILL 84 ALL WE EVER GET IS GRUELL
i forgot how much of a banger food glorious food is
LOOK AT BABY MARK LESTER 🥺🥺🥺
ads in middle of movie be like
its harry secombe!
AMENNNN
oliver gets bullied the movie
look at this poor kid
MOREE????????
oh yes oliver i love this song
O L I V E R
poor kid
without any bannister yikes
the one who named him........O-L-IV-ERRR
oh were outside now
olivers just been kicked out oh shit
but on the plus side he has a cute ass hat on
BOY FOR SAY AL
look at oliver 🥺 he deserves better
SOWERBERRY MORE LIKE SHITTERBERRY
theres a severe lack of thats your funeral and i shall scream
noah claypole more like noah clayprick
“perhaps... if i had a tall hat?” BABEY
HES GOT HIS TALL HAT ON YES OLIVER
oliver said dab on them haters from your old gaff youre a funeral advisor now and theyre still homeless
DONT INSULT HIS MUM FUCK YOU NOAH
YES OLIVER KILL HIM
yes stuff the nine year old in a coffin and sit on it well done
"OLIVAH ??" "Yes im here: ((("
ITS MEAT!
oliver deserves better man 
im gonna cry and were like 25 minutes in.
ik its not mark singing but whoever it is CAN SING WTF
i want to give him a hug
OH SHIT HES RUNNING AWAY
hes in the lettuce
LONDON YOU MADE IT !
yes oliver trains exist
DODGER!!!
whach you starin at aint ya ever seen a toff
the beak
look at lil jack wild
me more hintimate friends
cockney accent™️
the artful dodga
CONSIDERR YOURSSELF AT HOEME COSNIDER YOURSWLF OEN OF THE FAMILY !!!!!!!!!!
im sorry i love this song
look this scene is awesome, but it would be COMPLETE with charley oh wait he was demoted to extra and everything interesting abt him was given to dodger
he should have gotten the nobody tries to be ladeeda or uppity bit I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL
this cast is BIG
okay i am a Charger Enthusiast but do we all agree there is something oddly homosexual about oliver and dodger in this song
note how dodger is scared of the police FORESHADOWING
ive taken to this SO STRONGITSCLEARWEREGOINGTOGETALONG
how many extras is this ???? yall better be gettin paid
its dodga comin up
this set is sraight out of the book i love it
CHARLEY MATE IM SORRY THEY MADE YOU AN EXTRA 
“oh not again” does dodger just always show up with random workhouse kids 
ah yes fagin the character whos still a negative jewish stereotype
more and more big cast
THESE SAUSAGES ARE MOULDY! (am i going to freak out whenever charley does anything because i love him? yes)
stfu drink your gin
is this a laundry?? no fam 
THE BEST FUCKING SONG IN THIS MUSICAL
IN THIS LIFE ONE THING COUNTS
sorry if i dont add to this until pick a pocket or two is done bc its a straight banger
this song is EVERYTHING 
hard at work lol ok
did he make those himself??? no
couple a wipes
EMBROIDERED THEM??? no
petition for all oliver twist adaptations to refer to charley as master bates like the book and for him to have actual lines and not have his actor switched at least three times
i dont even now who charley is at this point because his actor is switched many a time im just gonna say purple blazer kid is charley
anyway charley bates supremacy
whos bill sikes??? NO
fuck bill all my homies hate bill
rum tum tum is a banger
go bed now
take your hat off in bed dodger
movie fagin has rights
fagin leaving where will he go
BET IS THAT YOU
FUCK OFF BILL NO ONE LIKES YOU 
NANCY NANCY HES HERE !!!!!! bet deserves everything and more ily 💖
NANCYYYY!!!!!!
its a fine life more like its a banger
wheres all of bets lines gone
bet 🤝 charley (being demoted to extras)
its not funny anyore bet.. bet girl please sing youre the best fucking thing about this song
such a happy song about domestic abuse
THERE SHE IS THATS MY GIRL BET I FUCKING LOVE YOU
bullsye rights!
i hate how this movie made fagin more symathetic but he’s still a “greedy jew” stereotype
oliver?????
at this moment fagin knew he fucked up
nancy you deserve better than bill
oh hi dodger forgot you existed
and the rest of you except oliver
ah yes charley “sausages” bates i missed you
THESE FUCKING KIDS THEY ALL LOVE BET AND NANCY MY HEART
im a regular gent i am. no dodger you arent
why is “permit me to assist you across the road” so fucking funny
pov dodgers back on his bullshit so you have to pretend to be a horse and cart for him
not “sir artful” 😭😭😭
anyfink for youu
WHAT FISTICUFFS???!!!
i feel sorry for the child extras man theyve prob had to film this scene like ten times
THESE KIDS CAN SING
 the boys dancing with eachother is too fucking wholesome i love this
again, movie fagin rights
weed riissk lifee and limmbb
you promised we could go see the angin!!!!!
ats on boys time were off
THIS IS MY FAVOURITE SONG
HOW COULD WE LET HOW COULD WE FORGET OUR DEAR OLD FAGIN WORRY!!
mate that aint single file did you not hear him
am i the only one who can hear london bridge is falling down in the back??
our pockets hold a watch of gold that chimes upon the hour!!! a wallet fat an old mans hat!!! the jewels from the tower!!!
WE KNOW THE NOSEY POLICEMEENNNN
dodger and charley (i am SURE charley is purple blazer kid even if havent seen this film in ages) are GETTING INTO THIS
oliver 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
movie fagin rights pt 27238227
DODGER OLIVER COME ON!!!!!!!!! alright dude chill
ARE YALL SEEING THIS SHIT, I WAS RIGHT, I TOLD YOU THAT THE LAD IN THE PURPLE BLAZER WHO SINGS “a wallet fat an old mans hat” WAS CHARLEY BATES AND GUESS WHAT HE FUCKING IS. I WAS RIGHT, PURPLE BLAZER KID IS CHARLEY YOU CAN LEAVE NOW
no dont were only an hour in
three kids on the back of the omnibus what will they do
dodger and charley said be gay do crimes
ah shit now look what youve gotten us into dodger
IT WASNT EVEN OLIVER IT WAS CHARLEY AND DODGER GO AFTER THEM
are dodger and charley straight up framing oliver for a crime they commited while also helping him escape
yes they are why are we surprised 
i hate to break it to you dodger but hiding oliver in a meat sack doesnt work
OLIVERS ON THE ROOF????
charley and dodger got oliver into this mess and they are not going to get him out
WHY DIDNT YOU LOOK AFTER HIM????? right calm down fagin
how could i help it :((((
no bill!
stan nancy
“two other boys stole it” no shit
BROWNLOW !
run bitch run
right intermission time now
AND WE’RE BACK!
entr acte
who will buyyy
strawberry girl is carrying this
oliver owns my heart pt 278983728938728
this is a banger wtf
okay its done now right
right?????
UHH BILL???? DODGER???? BITCH WHY TF ARE YOU HERE
have bill fagin nancy and the boys been stalking oliver???
NO SHE WONT FAGIN!
shit.
fuck bill
this scene is far more sadder when you think of how the boys have just seen the only woman they see as a mother figure been hit to the flo or, im not crying, you are
as long as he needs me :(
FUCK YOU BILL
rose maylie is that you?!
look at lil oliver!!
BILL FUCK OFF
i hate bill
“look at his togs! he’s got books too!” charley and dodger are my emotional support kids
anyway have i mentioned i hate bill, bc i hate bill.
I REALLY REALLY HATE BILL
even fagin aka the guy whos keeping these kids as pickpockets has more morals than bill
WE STAY CALM!!
no bill i havent heard a dying chicken
act one was just childish antics now we have THIS
fuck bill
YOURE TELLING ME THE BOYS WATCHED THAT????
jack wild is a banging actor. he genuinely looks terrified 🥺 
this film.. 
a mans got a heart hasnt he?? yes you do!!!
a full song dedicated to movie fagin rights?? did i ghostwrite this?? probably
banger
ithinkidbetterthinkitoutagain!
villains theives and nine year olds
MR BUMBLE?????!!!!!!!!!!
fuck bill pt72898376728909878199
bill youre traumatising him
cmon nance do something!!
also completely forgot abt this but uh does monks exist in this i forgot bc we have had no mentions of him yet
nancy tell him who bill is!!!
bullseye deserves better
uhm what is going on
bill sikes more like bill yikes
oliver what are you doing
BILL TERRIFIES ME
FUCK
omg oom pah pah????
leave oliver alone bill hes like nine
oh banger
OOM PAH PAH THATS HOW IT GOES!!!!!!!!!
just asking are nancy and bet lesbians bc they look it
COULD IT BE OOM PAH PAHHHHHH
god i love this song
IT SHOOOOOWSSSSSS
its the same oom pah pah
“She was from the country but now shes up a gumtree she let a fella feed her then lead her a long” foreshadowiinnggg
OOM PAH PAH! OOM PAH PAH! OOM PAH PAH!
nancy is so fucking smart
getting the whole pub singing and dancing to smuggle out oliver? clever
fuck
bill.. no.. bill.. bill????
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKC
BILL GET OFF HER
NANCY NO
HE STRAIGHT UP COMMIT MURDER AGAINST THE NICEST CHARACTER
BROWNLOW DO YOU NOT HEAR NOTHING
nancy deserved a better death than to be killed by bill fuck bill
EVEN BULLSEYE HATES YOU BILL
ARE THEY ACCUSING BULLSEYE OF MURDER
FUCK YOU BILL
movie fagin rights + fuck bill combo?
youre telling me fagin had an ESCAPE ROUTE??? AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HOUSE THING??? THE WHOLE TIME???
BILL DONT KILL THE CHILD
BILL
fuck, well. #
“WHAT DO I DO!?” “LIVE UP TO YOUR NAME, DODGE ABOUT”
ten quid says dodgers been caught
oh no all fagins shit is gone
BILL DONT KILL THE CHILD PT 2
FUCK YOU BILL
GOD I HATE HIM
OLIVER MATE ARE YOU OK
never have i been so happy to see a character die
rest in shit bill
hi dodger thought you got caught n went to australia 
god, this film is so fucking good.
reviewing the situation 2.0 goes hard
MOVIE. FAGIN. RIGHTS!
FAGIN YOU CAN BE A GOOD MAN YOU KNOW YOU CAN
DODGER??????????
IM TOTALLY NOT CRYING RN
FAGIN NO DONT TAKE IT
FUCKING PLOTTWIST
IT MADE IT LOOK LIKE FAGIN WAS GONNA GIVE THE WALLET BACK TO DODGER BUT NO
once the villain you’re the villain to the end
i completely forgot abt this scene since i’ve been reading the oliver twist book and in that dodger gets arrested and fagin gets hanged but here they get away?
god this is bittersweet
I THINK WE’D OUGHT TO THINK IT OUT AGAIN!!!!!
thats where the film should have ended, i get olivers the main character but it ending on dodger and fagin walking out into the sunset is such a pleasing ending man
oliver gets his happy ending abt time
YES CONSIDER YOURSELF AND BE BACK SOON (THE BIGGEST BANGERS IN THE FILM) CREDITS SONGS!!
well.. that was a journey and half
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multibug · 3 years
Text
i'm out of my head and i know that you're scared (because hearts get broken)
chapters: 19/? (chapter one is a prelude from my love square fluff series and is included) words: 51,441 relationships: adrien agreste/marinette dupain-cheng, alya cesaire/nino lahiffe   tags: Alternate Universe - No Kwamis, Chatting & Messaging, Long-Distance Friendship, Identity Reveal, Slow Burn, Influencers, Aged-Up Character(s), Human Kwamis, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Lila Shakes Things Up summary: ren from ren and stimpy: think its the opposite u furry lookin ass
right chat: Rena, nooo!!
ren from ren and stimpy: rena yes
or, Adrien is a streamer on top of his modeling job, with the help of his long-distance friends Ladybug, Carapace, and Rena Rouge. Shenanigans ensue, and the masks they’ve hidden behind for years begins to break.
“You’re telling me that some bitch—”
Nino sputters out a mildly horrified laugh. “Alya!”
A strand of hair is tucked behind her ear by said snapback-clad boy and she huffs loudly. “What, Nino? It’s not as if I’m wrong. As I was saying before you rudely interrupted me, she stole my identity?!”
A strand of hair is tucked behind her ear by said snapback-clad boy and she huffs loudly. “What, Nino? It’s not as if I’m wrong. As I was saying before you rudely interrupted me, she stole my identity?!”
“Yeah, we only realized she wasn’t you when the two of you returned from your trip and messaged us,” Adrien supplies helplessly, shifting to tuck a leg under him. 
Alya gives both him and Marinette the stink eye, though Adrien’s sure it’s just a test if he knows her well enough. “How could you ever think someone like that was me?” 
“To be fair, Als,” Marinette starts off, voice gentle as she scooches closer to Adrien to lean against his arm. “We didn’t really get to talk to her. I tried messaging her on Discord and on Twitch, but she kept claiming she was busy anytime I reached out. I figured you were just upset over the breakup originally and needed your space, you know? I didn’t want to push it.” 
The redhead’s harsh exterior fades, and they’re left with a sad one instead. “Yeah, it’s just bizarre that she’d even want my account? Is she that obsessed with sunshine over here?” 
“Hey! Don’t say that.” Adrien’s cheeks flush a deep shade of red, which has Marinette pinching them. He grabs her hands and huffs. “Hey to you too!” 
Marinette’s laughter is contagious. “Hey, what’s up?” 
Alya raises an eyebrow in Marinette’s direction and leans in to whisper into her ear. Whatever Alya says has Marinette’s cheeks burning a bright shade of pink that travels to her neck and parts of her shoulders. She quickly removes her hands from Adrien’s, yet stays tucked against his side.
Both of them blinking over in Adrien’s direction has him believing it had something to do with him. 
“Whatever the case may be,” Adrien begins, flicking his hair out of his eyes. He’s not thinking about those last few seconds. Nope. “We need to be smart about this, Ren—Alya. She has your account right now and has all of our subscribers like putty in her hands.” 
“Adrien’s right. If we go about this the wrong way, they might think we’re lying, and we do not want for that to happen,” Nino chimes in, resting a reassuring hand on Alya’s shoulder as she begins to close in on herself. 
“It’s weird seeing you be reasonable,” Marinette comments idly, her hair splaying out over Adrien’s arm and shoulder. 
Nino hums. “Only when it’s needed.” 
“That’s a good way to live.” 
“Yeah, I try.” Nino flips his non-existent long hair over his shoulder. 
“So what do we do?” Alya’s voice is soft, nowhere near as confident as the girl they know. 
Marinette sends her a reassuring smile. “Max is working on getting the account back as we speak. Going through the conventional means won’t work, but if anyone can do it, it’s Max.”
“He said he’d call once he has the account back, so instead of sitting around all day like plebs, I’ve planned us a little adventure.” Nino’s lips curve into a smirk that excites Adrien. “Get dressed, lads and ladettes. We’ve places to be, things to see!” 
“Do you have any idea what he’s got planned?” Marinette asks both Adrien and Alya as Nino disappears into the guest room to supposedly finish getting ready. 
A light breeze travels in through the screen door of the balcony. It’s chillier than it’s been the last few days, though not nearly as cold as Paris is during this time of year. Birds still flock regularly on Marinette’s balcony, a few residing today with the leftovers of what she’d given them earlier. 
Adrien loves it here. 
(Marinette definitely isn’t the main reason, no. He wouldn’t admit it to himself if he was paid to.) 
“No idea,” Alya replies with a shrug, a far-off look in her eye. “I’m going to go get dressed.” As soon as the look had appeared, it vanished, and she follows Nino to change. 
“We have to keep an eye on her,” Marinette whispers, a bit too close to constitute a reasonable amount of personal space, but Adrien isn’t complaining. “I don’t like seeing her like this.” 
His heart warms at how caring she is. “You’re too nice, Bug. She’ll be okay, but we’ll be there for her if she needs us, okay?” 
He hopes his reassurance is enough to quell her worries. 
It does seem to be enough, and a huge smile breaks out on her face. “Thanks, Adrien. You’re the best.” She leaves him with a quick, slightly wet kiss on the cheek and scurries out of the room with a giggle, much to Adrien’s amusement. 
He raises his eyebrows with a smirk, shaking his head fondly. If that’s how she wants to play, then so be it. 
Game on.
— — — 
PANINI: gamers im taking the ladies out today if you guys want to come, let me know and i’ll dm you the details
Banana head: NINO, YOU IDIOT. I’M NOT A LADY. Who changed my name? I will end you.
chlo: rmbr u rmbr right?
Banana head: Chlo, I swear to all that is holy. Don’t tell that story. 
chlo: how much?
RENegade: is sHE ASKING FOR SEX???
marimba: SEX???????? wheRE?????
chlo: GOD NO I’M A LESBIAN WHAT THE FUCK
Kagami: Lesbian, huh? ;) 
chlo: kagami stfu is2g
Kagami: ;)
chlo: ANYWAYS how much money, adri
Banana head: You want another Louis Vuitton bag, don’t you?
chlo: IT’S THE NEWEST OF THE SEASON AND THEY WON’T LET ME HAVE IT
Banana head: Sigh. I’ll see what I can do. 
chlo: thanks bitch! you’re the bomb bomb dot com bomb diggity someone take away my phone
Alix: hey, @Carapace, what time are you guys going out? rose, juleka and i are about to see a movie but if it’s after that, we can meet up
PANINI: we were gonna head out before the rain hit so in like five minutes
Juls: drat we can just hang out another time then :( have fun guys!!!!
marimba: YOU TOO JULES I LOVE YOU BITCH
Juls: I AIN’T EVER GON STOP LOVING YOU
Alix: BITCH
Banana head: Best meme. 10/10. 
luka: how can you say that when the chicken nuggets meme exists
marimba: I ONLY HAVE 69 CENTS!! GOOD MEME!!!!!! 
luka: see even marinette knows
marimba: haha it has 69 in it haha haha ha 
Banana head: You’re such a child!!!! 
marimba: COMING FROM THE MAN WITH THE NAME BANANA HEAD WHERE’S CHLOE I’LL GET HER THE LOUIS VUITTON BAG IF IT MEANS HER TELLING THE STORY
Banana head: I’M KIDDING. I’M KIDDING!!!!
marimba: that’s what i thought :) 
PANIN(o)I: y’all better be ready we leaving now let’s GO 
RENegade: I’M COMING BITCH CHILLLLL
marimba: wITHOUT ME????
Adrien’s been ready for a bit, but he doesn’t mind waiting. 
He decided on wearing a pair of black jeans instead of shorts, just in case it rains while they’re out, and a black sweater with a thick jean jacket. His hair is a dark brown shade, still lightening at a slow rate, though he doesn’t mind it much at this shade. 
He wouldn’t dye it again to match, but he’ll let it fade as he’s enjoying the brunet life.
Marinette’s bedroom door squeaks open and she appears through the door, dressed and ready to go. 
And wow. No one should look that good, and she pulls it off so easily. 
Her bangs frame her face like curtains, her hair just past shoulder length from being straightened. Her bright blue eyes blink amusedly at him, lips arching into a smile.
The only makeup he spots is on her lips, a lip gloss that makes her lips look super kissable. “Problem, Agreste?” 
Laughter bubbles out of his lips, and he averts his eyes. “None, Dupain-Cheng. Just admiring your beauty, is all.” Lying won’t help his cause, so he might as well be honest. 
She rolls her eyes, hard enough to hurt, yet her cheeks give her away. “Sure, whatever you say!” 
His eyes flash over her attire. While she’s not dressed up by any means, the outfit she chose suits her so well. 
Wait. Is she trying to kill him?
With the impending rain and whether they’ll end up caught in the crossfire, she’s chosen a black baggy sweater, denim jeans with large holes around the knees with fishnet stockings underneath, and black old-skool vans. 
And to top it off, she’s wearing his merch. His Chat Noir sweater that’s completely black, with white lettering in the center that says, “I’m the Chat’s meow”. He hadn’t noticed at first, been too preoccupied with, er, other things—her lips—and he’d lie if he said his face didn’t get slightly hot at seeing her in person in his merch. 
“I thought you only bought the sweatpants, Bug?” He asks offhandedly, eyes averting from her for a second time. 
(He has no idea the nickname brings another bout of red to her cheeks.)
“Shut up or I will take it off right now—” 
“Oh, please d—”
She’s in front of him in a second, her hand firmly covering his mouth with a menacing look in her eyes. “Adrien Agreste, if you continue with that sentence, I will murder you and I won’t tell anyone where I hid your body—”
Adrien bursts out laughing the best he can, and it sounds so bizarre with her hand muffling it. His own hand finds her wrist and wraps around it, gently prying it away from his face. “Bug, please, you’re going to kill me!”
“You’re not wrong about that,” she affirms with her eyes narrowed. She allows him to keep hold of her wrist.
“I was kidding,” he murmurs, eyes locking with hers as he brings her wrist to his lips and presses a light kiss to her skin. With how close she is, he can feel her breath hitch, so he sends her his best smile. “I would never want to make you uncomfortable.” 
Marinette’s head tilts to the side, face softening. Her free hand finds his cheeks and she squeezes them gently. “You’ve never made me uncomfortable before, and you haven’t now. I was kidding as well.” 
His eyes brighten. “Oh, so that means you—”
“You’re absolutely hopeless!” Her forehead drops to his shoulder as she whines loudly. 
“There, there,” he says, hand wrapping around her to pat her back. “You’ll be okay, Bug, don’t worry. I’ve got you.” 
She’s warm, so warm against him that his jacket feels stifling, and he tugs her closer, enjoying—savoring this moment with her. He doesn’t have many days left in Nice, and he wants to cherish every second he can. 
There goes his heart again, pitter-pattering away, following hers like a lost puppy. 
If only she knew.
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