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newtkive · 3 months

Text

pixels [newt x reader - modern text au]

ch. 4 - agoraphobia and burger king on 5th street

summary: a personal experience provides a way for newt to connect to y/n.

warnings: strong language, mental health talk, depression, medication (its my literal prescription i mention oops this is like a self insert fr), mutual pining, none really.

➥ m.list

THE GLADE

[ 10:52 am ]

y/n: it’s official yall

drugs saved my life

tommy: huh??

minho: same

newt: wow, i’ve never seen your name on my screen before 12 pm

y/n: shut the hell up bitch

newt: ouch, touchy

minho: woah

touchy 👀

are yallll..?

y/n: you’re sick

tommy: are we going to ignore the drugs statement??

like hello are u ok ??

newt: you’re annoying minho

minho: yea <3 😊

notice how they didn’t say no

y/n: you guys just don’t understand how a girl like me needs beauty sleep..

and no we aren’t

gally: all that beauty sleep and ur still walking around with that mug.. yikes.

y/n: 😑

i hate you i haete you i dhateoyifu

minho: great she’s having a fit

y/n: no one cares about me

and you think i’m ugly

this is so sick

and you don’t even care that i’m on drugs

☹️😭😭😭😭 done.

newt: no one said that love

gally that was rude

minho: BRUHHHHH

here she goes

tommy: I CAREE????????

DO I NEED TO COMEGET YOU????

y/n: yes 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

before i do something crazy 😭😭💣

minho: THE BOMB IS WILD

tommy: stay where you are

i have your location

newt: uhhh

y/n: pause what

minho: tommy why would you admit to that

tommy: im On my way! what’s the issue

sorry autocorrect

y/n: WHY DO YOU HAVE MY LOCATION????

gally: can you guys shut the fuck up

minho: the drama queen is here 😍

gally: stop

alby: I have it on Life360, I imagine Thomas does as well. In fact I have all of your locations.

y/n: oh

i forgot about that app..

minho: i didn’t. i get a notif that newt’s phone is at 5% all the goddamn time

even tho he said he deleted it

newt: just turn it off then

i redownloaded it don't track my app intake

minho: no it makes me feel less lonely

y/n: awwwww

idk how you do that newt

newt: do what?

y/n: not charge your phone

if my phone gets below like 15% then the monsters will get me

tommy: omg me tooo 🥹

newt: i was about to say you sound like tommy.

tommy: don’t say that!

she’s on drugs i don’t want to sound like an addict 😔

newt: she isn’t on drugs thomas

tommy: she literally said she is newt :/

5 mins and i’m there y/n

y/n: are you actually fr

thomas..

we live very far away sweetie

newt: i mean

if you were in trouble you don’t think we’d come get you?

tommy: ^^

but life360 says you’re at the burger king on 5th

minho: no that’s me LOOOL

y/n: NEWTTT ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

tommy: wtf

i’m the one who’s coming to get u

why does he get the credit

minho: no tommy you’re coming to get me

tommy: oh yippee i get to see my friend 🤗

newt: ewwwwww

y/n: EWWWWW

tommy: OH STOP IT

y/n: why burger king of all places min

minho: why drugs of all things y/n

gally: she’s not doing drugs are you guys fuckin insane

y/n: yes i am

it’s 10 mg of fluoxetine 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

ONCE A DAY!!!!!!

IM ADDICTED

newt: no you aren’t, 10 mg is the smallest dose

minho: told y’all she was on drugs

y/n: ???????

minho: over the year

you’re too hyper to not be on some crack shit

tommy: oh stop that’s not nice.

newt: it’s not drugs like that minho stop.

tommy: uhoh he brought out the . at the end

y/n: it’s just for anxiety cuz i can’t leave the house without going into a breakdown

minho: she got acrophobia

told y’all she was mental

newt: what the fuck are you talking about

tommy: oh i know that word

fear of spiders 🕷️

minho: wtf no

fear of outside

y/n: i’m not afraid of outside

newt: that’s agoraphobia you fucking dumbass

y/n: 😍

i did NOT mean to send that lol oops

newt: ??

oh, okay

minho: when he’s a know it all 😍

when she’s agoraphobic 😍

y/n: when he’s at burger king on 5th because he has no food in his fridge and can only afford a $1.99 whopper with the coupons from the newspaper 😍😍😍😍

minho: 😒😑

newt: LMFAOOOO

GOOD THAT

minho: british people be so annoying

saying shit like gormless minger and good that be sooo real rn

newt: i have never said gormless minger in my whole 26 years of life.

y/n: you just did bro

newt: call me bro again

y/n: bro

brosive

brother

stepbro

minho: laughed until i saw the last msg :/

newt: 😑

y/n: ok youre the perverts

minho: cant you take your prozac and turn back to normal now

y/n: so you DO know what it is..

gally: wym 'back to normal' like there was smth before this??

y/n: real i been like this for life

tommy: i got whopper and two large fries and mozzarella sticks

newt: wow

y/n: wow just call him a fatass newt.

newt: i would never, stop

y/n: 2 large fries is kinda crazy tho

tommy: i have to get enough to share with my friend

minho

gally: surprised you have friends

tommy: yeah you are not one.

gally: RUDE?

y/n: WELL LMFAO

minho: i literally already ate also gally ur not my friend either

newt: same

alby: same

gally: well why tf am i in here

y/n: well you're my friend!

gally: great.

y/n: not with that attitude..

tommy: y/n you're ok though right??

y/n: yes tommy im fine sweetie

go eat your food

tommy: okay i wish you could share these fries with me

y/n: me too :(

minho: i don't

big back would eat em all

y/n: i actually hate you

newt

[ 11:45 am ]

newt: hey

y/n: hiii :D whats up??

newt: idk why but this feels like secretly texting you across the room at a party

y/n: actually tho

picture me giving u a look from across the room

newt: you would blow our cover immediately

i just wanted to let you know if you needed any like,, advice or something with your new medicine i'm here for you. i take the same stuff on top of lexapro

y/n: oh really?

newt: yeah i do

y/n: newt :( thank you

i am a bit nervous to start it tbh

newt: i understand, i was too

but hopefully it'll change things for the better

y/n: i hope so

i didn't realize you dealt with anxiety n stuff

newt: more than you know

you aren't the only one and you aren't alone w it

y/n: you're sweet newt, thank you

newt: don't mention it :))

sorry the smiley was creepy

y/n: lmao no i like it

if you need to talk or anything too i’m always here

newt: yeah?

y/n: of course ): you’re my pookie

newt: one day you gotta let go of that word lmao

y/n: but you love it tho

newt: you tell yourself that

actually are you free rn?

y/n: yeah! i’m just about home what’s up?

newt: i’m bored so pick up the phone

y/n: NEWT LMAO

ok fine 😒

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desiredcaramellatte · 11 months

Note

kinda nervous since this is my first time requesting, i cant find a masterlist for this (idk if you have one but), can you do hcs for dark cacao x a reader whos very goofy and finds it really hard to be serious?

if you dont wanna do hcs a oneshot is completely fine ^^

p.s. i hope your having a lovely day!

You did an awesome job, happy I could be the one to receive your first request!

Yep, I don’t have a masterlist. I tried to make one once and it crashed my phone multiple times lol

Anyways, here’s your request! I hope your day is splendid as well 💕!

Dark Cacao x Silly Reader

Romantic

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ Dark Cacao is pretty impressed by how you can find humor in almost everything. Dark Cacao being, well, Dark Cacao, he doesn’t understand a lot of jokes. You’re probably going to have to explain them to him.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ If he ever gets one of your jokes without you explaining it he will proclaim why it’s funny. He’s getting better at understanding all of your jokes as well, though he still does occasionally ask you for an explanation if he’s curious about it.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ Your jokes often get stuck in his head. He will be thinking about them and running over them at random point of the day. There have been multiple nights where he’s just been awake, staring at the ceiling and trying to recall every joke you’ve told him. “Ah. An alligator in a vest is also known as an investigator.”

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ He enjoys your mischief, it’s a good break from his crushing reality. You can make him lighten up very quickly with all your silly goofiness, and he has found himself a little less brooding lately due to your influence.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ Every blue moon he’ll approach you and tell you a joke with the absolute flattest face ever. He’s just trying to impress you by showing you he can joke too, even if he isn’t too good at it… most of these small jokes he tells you are ones he hears in passing conversations or ones he read from a book.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ He admires your resolve in tough situations, how you can just continue to be that silly person he loves so much even when faced with hardships and challenges. It’s one of your best qualities, in his eyes. He can always count on you to be there in rough times.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ There have been times where he’s gotten snappy at you for joking at the wrong time, such as when he’s in the middle of an important meeting or trying to make a hard decision for his kingdom, but it’s mostly just stress, mixed with his hard, grumpy nature, that pushes him to do so.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ Typically he does have a lot of patience with you, when he isn’t too stressed, that is. Overall, he really enjoys that you are able to see the bright side in almost everything, and honestly admires you for that.

#cookie run x reader #cookie run #cookie run kingdom x reader #cookie run kingdom #crk #crk x reader #requests open #dark cacao #dark cacao x reader #silly goofy #reader is funny #romantic

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a-hazbin-reader · 3 months

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#alastor hazbin hotel x reader #alastor hazbin x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor x reader #alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #I don't want him fixed #YOU STAY AWAY FROM HIM #he's no fun fixed #I want him whipped and INSANE #come into MY HOUSE #try to fix MY MAN #lol jk #It was just too funny to me #had to say it

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gimmemore14 · 3 months

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Fanfiction writers only want one* thing and it’s disgusting

*Comments where you explain in excruciating detail how each line made you feel

#fanfic #ao3feed #ao3 fanfic #fanfiction #writer #reader #meme #ao3 funny #ao3 #ao3 memes

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karoochui · 5 months

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Arc 2 shenanigans. Idk!! Im just kinda tossing around ideas

#moon: how come sun gets to be a shoujo anime boy #its honestly probably not as funny as i think it is but #sun would so be That Guy #hes just so dramatic #fnaf daycare attendant #fnaf security breach #fnaf sun #sundrop #fnaf moon #moondrop #dca x reader #moon x reader #sun x reader #moon x yn #sun x yn #binary resurgence: round 2 au #binary resurgence #mikas stuff

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just-a-sewer-goblin · 4 months

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The way Soap would use military talk to get a reaction from you. He knows you're into it. So you're standing in the kitchen, maybe cooking something and you can hear his raspy voice from behind the corner "Got visuals on the target" and you're already grinning, wisely putting down anything that could make a mess. You hear slight shuffling and a whispered "Nice and stealthy boys", the next thing you know is him tackling you and immediately catching you in his arms, carefully lowering you to the floor. He crawls over you rasping: "Hostage secured", and presses his lips to yours but you both have to laugh. And it ends up being a messy kiss because you both can't stop giggling and grinning into the kiss. And when he breaks away because you're both smiling so wide it's just impossible to properly kiss, you put your hand on his chest and tell him: "You're a goof MacTavish". His smile softens and he replies: "Aye, your goof, that is."

#the sewer writes #john soap mactavish #john soap mactavish x reader #soap x reader #soap x gn!reader #soap mactavish x reader #gn!reader #john soap cod #cod soap x reader #the way it would be so ridiculous #he would always find a way to make intimate moments funny #sometimes it's just straight up funny #sometimes it ends up being hotter than anticipated

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lazyexcuse · 5 months

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*Y/n and Levi training*

Levi, wiping the blood from his lips with a smirk: “Oh yeah? Is that the best you can do?”

Y/n, holding back tears: “Yeah actually, I’m trying really hard..”

Levi, standing up straight, shocked: “Oh.. ok.. hey— it’s ok—“

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plumilia · 8 months

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gekkan shoujo uriel-chan doing what she does best!!!

(based on the tomoda!!! scene from gekkan shoujo nozaki-kun)

#orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #kim dokja #yoo joonghyuk #joongdok #uriel orv #abyssal black flame dragon #demon like judge of fire #kdj #yjh #i did this in an orv fever induced haze #i’m sorry i’m not funny but this concept would not leave my mind 😭😭😭#fanart #plumi’s art

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kpop-otome-yandere-here · 6 months

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Mc: *laying on a pool chair, unconscious*

Levi, panicking: They're not breathing!

Solomon: I'll give them mouth-to-mouth!

Mc: *opens one eye,* Ew no! Let Mammon do it! *Closes eye*

Lucifer:

Beel:

Solomon:

Satan:

Levi:

Belphie:...

Mammon: GET OUT OF THE WAY, MOTHERFUCKERS!

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ponderingmoonlight · 1 month

Note

JJK men doing the bicep trend. Their s/o will tie a pink string on their bicep and once they flex it’ll break off!!!

Doing the ribbon around biceps trend with JJK men

Pairings: Gojo x fem!reader; Nanami x wife!reader; Toji x fem!reader; Sukuna x fem!reader

Word Count: 1,8k

Synopsis: Tying a ribbon around your boo's biceps and watching how they flex it off? Hell yeah.

Notes: not proofread, Sukuna's part is a little short because I wanted to get this out today, I'll have my knee surgery tomorrow so sorry for ignoring your comments and messages, I'll get back to you when life gets a little easier lol, totally love and appreciate your interactions, I hope you have fun with this!

Gojo Satoru

„Come here babe, I need to show ya something real quick.”

You can’t help but yawn, annoyance dripping from every pore. Oh, your boyfriend is definitely too fit for the fact that it’s still dark outside. What time is it? If he woke you over a strange video he saw on TikTok again…

“Can’t this wait like…4 hours longer?”, you try to resist his urgent wish, shielding your tired eyes from the harsh light of the lamp above.

“I might forget until then. Hey, do you have like a band or something lying around in the bathroom?”

A…band? Your eyes dart towards him, nothing but sheer excitement written on his face. What on earth is Satoru up to now?

“My pink dress has a satin band around the waist I guess”, you mutter.

Maybe this is all he wants. Yes, he just grabs the satin band and goes straight back to sleep-

“Thank you babe!”, he shouts over his shoulder while opening your wardrobe with so much enthusiasm that the door almost falls out of it.

You flinch, rubbing your temple in a desperate attempt to keep yourself together. You love your boyfriend with all your heart, appreciate this childish side of him more than anyone else. But not when you have an important mission tomorrow and had maybe 2 hours of sleep…

“This better be something important, Satoru”, you mumble through your fingers, a sigh escaping your lips.

“Okay babe, ready to see something really big?”

“I swear if you slap your d-“

“Look at me!”

His insisting tone forces you to remove your hand from your face. There he stands, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers paired with a tight black shirt.

And a pink ribbon wrapped around his biceps tightly.

“Now watch.”

With one flex of his veiny biceps, the ribbon opens itself, your pink satin band falling to the floor while he looks at you expectant.

“I have one question”, you begin, eyes still resting on his delicious arm.

“Go ahead babe.”

“How on earth did you tie that ribbon yourself?”

He opens his mouth, nothing but pure outrage written on his face.

“Is this really everything you’re thinking about!? I just gifted you my strong arm!”, he barks overdramatically at you.

“You’re the best present ever”, you purr at your fuming boyfriend, gently stroking his arm when he finally gets back into bed.

“But if you wake me over something like that ever again, I’ll murder you.”

Nanami Kento

“Why are you looking at me with those eyes, darling?”

You blush immediately, the day dream of that trend you saw earlier on your beloved husband not leaving your mind. Kento with a bow around his strong arm. Kento flexing his arm in front of you, causing the ribbon to open up.

…Just like your legs.

“You’re daydreaming again.”

You force yourself to look up at him only to find out that he’s already looking at you, soft eyes lightened by a spark of curiosity.

“It’s just…I saw that trend online and it kinda…reminded me of you…”, you mutter, embarrassment crawling up your veins.

You’re acting like a horny teenager over a man you call your husband for several years by now. Kento is the epitome of a gentleman, the most elegant male being walking on this earth. How stupid to even consider wrapping a ribbon around his biceps…

“Don’t be embarrassed, (y/n). Tell me what’s on your mind. What exactly is this trend about?”

He puts the paper he was reading aside and wraps his fingers gently around your chin, slowly but surely making you lose your mind. It should be forbidden for a single man to be this captivating. Should you…Just tell him? Your imagination runs wild, breath getting stuck in your throat by the simple thought of him actually doing this…

“Tying a ribbon around your biceps and opening it by tensing your arm”, you blurt out.

His eyes widen just the slightest. Oh no, does he think you’re weird, desperate, pathetic? You should really stop roaming around social media late at night-

“Why not trying it, then? Even though I don’t think I’m strong enough to untie a ribbon with my muscles.”

Wait…Did he really say yes? You blink over and over to make sure he’s not messing with you until he gets up and grabs a roll of ribbon from your cabinet before cutting off more than enough of the black band. Before you fully realize what just happened he takes off his dark blue shirt, naked skin getting exposed to the dim light of the room.

And your merciless gaze.

“Would you mind helping me out? I can’t tie a bow on my own with just one hand, darling.”

You force your mouth to stay closed, keep your palms from getting sweaty. This is your husband, goddamn.

Your husband, wearing nothing but his work pants. Your husband, holding up a black band, waiting for you to wrap it around his strong arm only because you couldn’t stop imagine him doing a stupid internet trend. Out of instinct, you follow the invitation of his stretched-out hand, fingertips pulsating against his firm muscles while you tie a perfect little bow.

Until he flexes his muscles, forcing the band to untie itself in slow motion. His beefy arm, veins threaten to pop open any given minute. How is it possible for a man to be in this shape when relaxed? Your gaze is fixated on his delicious sight in front of you – so focused that you don’t notice his other hand grabbing your chin before it’s too late.

“It seems like you’re enjoying the view”, he comments softly.

“Just because you are the view, Kento”, you clarify with a small smile, allowing him to drag you into his strong arms.

Toji Fushiguro

“You want me to do what?”

You grab his arm tightly, doe eyes making it hard for none other than Toji Fushiguro to focus. What did you see on the internet again? “Ribbon around bicep”…What the hell?

“I want you to tie a pink ribbon around your bicep and pop it open with your beefy muscles”, you explain briefly.

“Come on babe. Why can’t I just wrap my hand around ya neck instead?”

“Tempting”, you purr, finger gliding over his firm chest delicately slow.

“But you’re the perfect match for that trend. Now sit your ass down and gimme your arm.”

Just before Toji is even able to press his longing lips against yours, you shove him onto the couch and position yourself on top of him, pink ribbon dangling from your fingertips.

“C’mon (y/n)”, he groans, pouting like a little child when you slap the hand that tried to dig into your butt away.

“Hold still. I need to concentrate”, you instruct him.

“Promise we’ll fu-“

“DONE!”, you scream out, the sheer excitement radiating from your voice making him stop mid-sentence.

His eyes follow your gaze, revealing a wonky-looking bow tied around his biceps so firmly that it might burst any minute.

“And now you want me to do what?”, he questions.

It’s hard to keep himself from smiling when you sit in front of him grinning like an idiot. Is that really all it takes? A fucking ribbon wrapped around his biceps? What a strange thing you are.

But still…

You look so breathtakingly gorgeous that he can’t keep up his annoyed façade.

“Flex your muscles babe!”, you instruct him, index finger poking into his biceps.

Fine, he’ll do you the favour. Slowly, he lifts up his arm before popping open the bow with ease, watching the shocked expression on your face.

“That trend was totally made for you, Toji!”, you shriek, your eyes still fixated on his arm.

“Let’s do that again.”

“I know something better.”

All it takes is a swift motion for you to lay underneath him, your hot breath escaping your lips in shock.

“I’m next, babe”, he breathes out.

Bonus: Sukuna

“Why did I even agree to do this…”, the king of curses mumbles while you’re busy tying another ribbon around his arm.

“Hold still, I’m not done yet.”

“You already tied this one three times, (y/n). I’m getting impatient.”

“Oh, I know you don’t. Deep down you enjoy me caressing your arm”, you reply with a cheeky grin, carefully forming another bow around his fourth arm.

Tying a bow around a single arm already sounding inviting, but the stinging fact that your lover has not only two but four arms to offer for this delicious trend…There was no way in hell for you to resist this opportunity.

“Really deep down”, he grumbles.

“I’m done. Now stand still and don’t move until I say so”, you bark at him while taking a few steps back.

“Watch how you talk to me or I’ll-“

“Shut up Sukuna, your threats don’t work for me. Okay, flex your muscles in three, two, one…”

Out of instinct, he lifts up his four arms and pops open every ribbon you tied so laborious these pasts minutes. Damn, he really feels like an idiot, standing in front of you shirtless with pink ribbons falling from his arms. But that look on your face, the way you clap your hands in sheer excitement, that phone…Wait.

“Did you film this, brat?”

You blink a few times, the smile on your face disappearing as fast as it came.

“Maybe I did”, you reply, quickly turning on your heels and sprinting away.

“Delete that right now!”

“I will watch this every time I go to bed!”

Tags: @arehzhera @ploylulla @tzubaki @beatrexworld @kenstarsworld @dazaisdick @hellkaiserinphoenix @lauv4chuuya @shadowfoxey @starlightanyaaa @sindela @kayleegomez @sunshine7queen @magalimachete @mokoartpost @gatitam @idontknow1123 @creative1writings @sanicsmut @mynahx3 @sad-darksoul @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix @chuyasthighs0 @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @wxwieeee @lovelyluna1 @froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso @gojosrealwife @coffeeluvr96 @mahi-tamashi @weebotaku21 @chaoticwinnercupcake @lees-chaotic-brain @risuola @sugurulefttesticle @wordskeeper @baku2345 @polarbvnny @ruixrei @bam-bam-bam-bame-blog @lavenderdrxp @localhehecat @alicerhr @kayleegomez @belovedvamp @wifenanami @chilichopsticks @dlwlrmas-world @oikawarz @darkstarlight82 @satoreo @luwumii @tachiharazsstuff @kentocalls @cheesemachine44 @ryva @kenjakusconcubine @baku2345 @komelrebi-san @deezy12299@busyreader17 @4pgletter @okay-it-is-ivy @iluvtoru @starlightanyaaa

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moralesluvr · 10 months

Note

imagine sitting down at a restaurant with miguel & the couple that’s seated in the booth a few spaces away from y’all starts arguing and you both can hear what they’re saying…and it’s all stuff that shouldn’t be said out loud. n y’all r just sitting there trying not to laugh 😭😭😭

nah because i KNOW miguel is so goofy like this.

you were seated in a diner together for breakfast, finally enjoying your day off together as you both picked the menu apart, when you heard bickering.

not just normal arguing, literal bickering from the other side of the old-timey restaurant. miguel completely turned around to eavesdrop, and you slapped his hand, “babe! that’s none of our business, you’re making it obvious that you’re listening!”

he didn’t say anything, he just shushed you and motioned for you to come sit by him. you rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t even pretend you weren’t interested too, so you snuck out of your side of the booth and sat on his lap as you eavesdropped on the two women who were talking a little too loud.

“how dare you invite me here, acting like you haven’t been having sex with my husband for months!”

the other woman snorted, “oh please, elizabeth, your husband had been cheating for a long, long time and you never knew! ask the other girls back at the country club, where do you think he goes every weekend? to the lake house like he says? baby, he sold that lake house and blew it on call girls.”

“you’re lying! at least me and my husband don’t have to wear protection because one of you has an STD!”

miguel immediately craned his neck over to you, whispering, “the hell?”

you contained a laugh as the women just kept going, until one of them stood up, a fork positioned in her hand like she was going to hurt the other woman with it. “i’ll kill you!”

“oh hell no.” you snorted, grabbing your husband’s hand as you started to stand up,

“we’re leaving.”

#💌 — 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐋 #THIS IS SO FUNNY HELP #spiderman across the spiderverse #spiderman: across the spiderverse #miguel o'hara x y/n #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o’hara x y/n #miguel o’hara #miguel o'hara fluff #atsv miguel #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x you

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k9wa · 19 days

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⟁ A BULLET A DAY, ft. BOOTHILL.

⠀ — where teasing, annoying, poking and prodding all fall under the same category; flirting.

⚠︎︎ more mechanic! reader, gn, boothill being an idiot, flirting, suggestive, he has fake teeth to me, something about tension + leaving him high and dry is soooo ….

from this request !

it’s a miracle, truly, how boothill manages to be so tempting and endearing yet so utterly irritating and infuriating at the same time.

and it’s hot, sure, but that just makes it all the more annoying, leaves you frustrated and with an odd pool in your stomach.

boothill managed his way into your supply of bullets, happily tossing back the brass casings like a simple snack. it was a genius idea at the time, really, giving him a stomach that can store ammunition. though had you expected him to chew on the damn things instead of swallowing them— you know, like he was intended to— you would’ve just given him a little side bag to save yourself the work.

you half hoped the lead stuffing the things would seep into his still intact brain, but chastised yourself for the thought soon after having it. you don’t hate him that much. your brain should check back and try the thought again in twenty minutes.

“y’know what’d be real neat, buttercup?” boothill’s legs were kicked up lazily on your workbench as he sat next to you, waiting for you to finish a small modification on his revolver. “spikes in my boots.” he lifted a foot up, rolling his ankle a bit. “you know, them retractable ones. be able t’a have some real fun with those things.”

you snorted, his efforts to dodge his synesthesia beacon as entertaining as always.

“since when do i take requests?” you asked, eyes focused down on your work— far too used to his antics to lift your head anymore.

“since when d’you deny gettin’ to tinker with me?”

he brought his feet down to the floor and leaned forward on his thighs, the denim of his pants tightening around them. “what, gonna make me say please and thank ya now?”

you truly wanted to reply, say it wasn’t a half bad idea and that you’d look into the upgrade. until he started shaking a few bullets around in his palm like they were fucking almonds.

now boothill noticed the clench of your jaw, and oh how he revelled in it. he’s fully aware how the crunching of brass and lead peeves you, ie. you telling him to knock it off an hour ago— (“it ain’t hurtin’ nobody, is it now?”—) but you’re just so darn cute when you’re ticked off. he’s gotta push your buttons just a lil bit.

“somethin’ the matter?” the way his sharp teeth gleamed through that damn grin weren’t doing anything to help.

he took a bullet between his thumb and forefinger, the shiny gunmetal digits pinching the ammunition as he held it up next to you. “d’ya care for one, sugar plum?”

fine, you thought. two can play that game.

you tore your attention away from the old steel revolver, finally turning to look at him. boothill prepared for an insult, one he’d tell you was ‘flatterin’ and all,’ but it didn’t come.

you leaned towards his hand, keeping your eyes locked with his that glowed a familiar and faint red.

then you took the bullet between your tongue and top front teeth, gently pulling it out of his hands with your mouth.

his smirk actually dropped— you’d think someone stuck an infected usb into his ear with all the ideas that flooded the forefront of his brain, making his circuits just tingle with excitement. something about the hot single mechanic in his area.

you turned back to your desk, removing the bullet from your teeth and twirling it between your fingers idly as you gave a once over to his revolver, as if nothing had happened.

boothill blinked, chuckling gruffly with a shake of his head as he slumped back in his chair, flicking another bullet into the air with his thumb and catching it in his palm with a gentle clink! the cyborg gave a low whistle as he kicked his feet back up.

“ain’t you somethin’,” he drawled, earning a chuckle from you. “y’sure know how t’keep a man on his toes, don’t ya buttercup?”

“i dunno what you mean, boothill.” you only offered a hum, willfully ignorant to boothill’s colourful imagination.

“oh i’m real sure y’don’t.” he shook his head, another chuckle rumbling his chest and sending a shiver down your neck.

“say,” he leaned towards you, his shoulder to yours, feeling a little lucky and dropping his voice to a knee-weakening purr, “if that pretty mouth a’yers likes metal, i’m more’en happy t’a—”

“all done.”

all bets go down the drain. boothill deadpanned as you clicked the barrel of his gun into place and handed it back to him, standing up to stretch your arms.

“shops closed for today,” you fold them, leaning back against your bench. “you better get a move on before i have to kick you out.”

boothill’s eyes trailed up your figure, taking his sweet time finding your face. the cowboy raised an eyebrow into a cocky arch despite him swearing his body was on the verge of its cooling protocol.

“you keep woundin’ me, sugar.”

“i dunno what you mean, boothill.”

⠀ 𑣲 MASTERLIST / GOT A REQUEST ?

#‘kawa he doesn’t chew—‘ REALITY IS WHAT I MAKE IT.#plus its funny #boothill #boothill x reader #boothill hsr #boothill x you #boothill headcanons #honkai star rail #hsr #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail headcanons #hsr headcanons #UNEARTHLY

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sinfullyrosey · 1 month

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Y/N, looking at Azul’s baby picture: Oh wow, you were so shaped. So squishy and soft. Full of so much chub to love.

Azul: What are you talking about?? I was a fat, ugly octopus!

Y/N: Fat? Yes. Ugly? No. You were a proper butterball, of whom I would have held and kneaded like dough. Bake you right into an adorable cutiepie.~

Azul: I don’t know what is wrong with your brain and eyes, but I most certainly was not adorable as a kid! Now give me that- *tries to swipe back the picture*

Y/N, dodging him: Nope. You were lovable and round and oh-so baby.~

Azul: I was unlovable! Not like I am now!

Y/N: Oh shut up, that’s just the insecurities and unresolved childhood trauma talking!

Azul: My younger self would ink himself if he saw me now!

Y/N: You peaked in your childhood and will never reach that same level of endearment until you reclaim the chub you so foolishly threw away.

Azul: . . .

Y/N: Your childhood longing is calling, Azul. Answer it.

[Jade and Floyd watching this all go down in the doorway]

Floyd, shoveling popcorn into his mouth: Yeah, Azul, answer it!

Jade: Yes, heed their words, Azul, so that we can partake in your chub too.~

#Twisted Wonderland #TWST #Azul Ashengrotto #Floyd Leech #Jade Leech #Azul Ashengrotto X Reader #GN!Reader #found this old thing and found it stupidly funny #I think I wrote this at like 3AM when I couldn't sleep or something..?#I know I wrote more short joke fics and they're all on my phone somewhere in my notes but I can't find them

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tarjapearce · 9 months

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Lips anon! Had a tasty thought, imagine Ranchero Miguel and the Pastor's Daughter 😳

You are supposed be a sweet little cherry and you are, but behind barn doors you're getting bred by Miguel. You truly love each other, and you're ashamed of your lust, but he assures you that he's going to marry you. It's no lie. He's just going to pump a baby into you first ❤️

Jeeeesshhh. 🤤

VERY NSFW under the cut

More Ranchero Miguel here

----

When Miguel had arrived to your family's farm as a recommendation by a close friend of your dad, you couldn't believe how... easy it was to sin.

Your mother would often swat your head and reprimand you whenever your stare, lingered too much on him. Saying "No daughter of mine will be mingling with that boy." But you didn't care.

Not when he had popped your cherry in the barn. Strong and calloused hands had held you in place as his fat cock slid into you, condom wrapped a bit too tight around him. Riding you gently as he mumbled the sweetest things into your ear. He made sure to make it special.

Sometimes he'd tease you by working shirtless in the barn, he'd ride Agustín, A pure bred horse, hat snug on his head. Your friends would unabashedly stare at him.

"Señoritas" (Ladies)

He tipped his hat but you knew that smile on his face belonged to you only, your friends giggling and gushing over the fact you had such fine man, under your care.

You felt shame washing over you at the breathless petitions you made him.

"Use the rope!" He would. He would tie your hands above you in one of the posts as his girth rammed viciously into your tight and soaking pussy, only to leave it swollen, full of him and flushed by the constant slapping of his toned hips.

"Choke me" He'd squeeze his large hand that easily wrapped on your neck, cutting the air enough to pump his load inside a couple of times inside your greedy cunt.

"Dios mío, preciosa" He growled as you milked and squeezed him. He could feel every pulsation of your insides embracing him, trapping him.

But this time he was being particularly rough on you. The frustration of you not being swollen with his baby at this point made him to rile your legs up to his shoulders, spreading you, as his fat, cum leaking, thick cock sheathed on your pussy-sleeve

He covered your mouth as your hands fisted in tight balls on his chest, tears prickling at the corner of your eyes.

"No hagas mucho..." He growled as his hips smacked yours with such force it sent you bouncing underneath him, "Ruido" (Don't make too much noise)

Your mewls and grunts died on your mouth as he fucked you thoroughly.

"Te vas a ver tan chula con esta pancita redonda" (You'll look gorgeous with this round belly)

God, the thrill to have him all to yourself doing as you asked, only to be pampered later with such delicacy made your stomach flutter. Your mother would surely die out of a heart attack if she knew you were letting the farmboy she disliked so much, fill your little tight hole to the brim as many times as he saw fit. And your father, would surely want to shoot him for corrupting you.

"Ya quiero casarme contigo, chaparrita" (I already wanna marry you, baby)

Tears rolled down your cheeks as he didn't show any signs of stopping, at least not anytime soon. Pleasure borderline biting and overwhelming. In reality was, That Miguel only obliged at your wishes just to see your pretty, dolled up eyes rolling to the back for him and he alone.

"Pa' llenarte de hijos preciosos. Sólo mírate" (T'fill you with pretty children. Just look at you)

"So pretty and good f'me, yeah?" you nodded and your spine arched.

He was definitely fucking a baby into you tonight.

#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x you #t writes✨#miguel o'hara x reader #atsv miguel #💋 anon #miguel o'hara smut #Farmer boy Miguel O'Hara #Funny thing is that mom was reading the Bible out loud as I was writing this. See you guys in hell JSKSJSKS #atsv smut #spiderman 2099 smut

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