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#tbs x reader
imjustagirlinthisworlddd Β· 7 months
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"Is it too late now?"
Newt x Reader (TMZ)
summary - you thought it'll be the last time you ever saw Newt in the day he died on your arms, until he showed up in front of you.
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no warnings !! this is pure fluff and maybe a little angst 😸
You sat on the sand, the cold air hitting your bare shoulders as you breathe in deeply at the salty air of the ocean in front of you, waves bring the water closer to your feet. It calms you.
you always love those small things. you loved the sun and the stars, amazed at how they can shine on they're own.
you watch the stars and wish that you could also be like those stars, shine on they're own. But you can't, you're different. you're the moon. The moon that shined because of the sun.
The moon that wait days and nights and hours to shine together side by side with the sun but the day never came.
you're the moon, while newt is your sun.
Newt, the boy that made your life thousand times more better with him in it.
you missed the days you and him wouldn't sleep and sneak out quietly and you went to the top floor with him holding hands. watching together how the stars shine the sky so brightly and feeling the night wind blow your hair.
There we're times in glade where Newt would always hold your hand tightly while kiss you on your forehead and lips once in a while and say how much he loves you, grinning so widely to you.
You miss him. You can't deny the fact you miss him. You miss the times you had with him in the glade.
The ocean waves getting closer to your feet and the sound of footsteps reaching closer to you.
"good morning" came from minho as he sat down next to you. you replied with a forced smile, not really feeling like you want to talk.
"hey, you sure you don't want any breakfast? i made pancakes, the same ones you used to made" asked thomas, sitting beside you too, as he looked at you with worry.
The same one i made in the glade for them and newt.
Newt.
"I'm not feeling really hungry", you weren't lying, you hardly eat anything ever since you arrived at the paradise.
Thomas came and sat next to you. "well then, water?"
he handed you a cup of warm water.
"Thanks", you said before taking a gulp.
Minho puts his arm around you, "i know this is hard for you", he started,
"it's hard for all of us, but you need to take care of yourself. you haven't eaten anything since yesterday we arrived, and you're supposed to be resting in your room" He finished, speaking to you softly.
You gave him a small nod, and stared at the cup your holding as the sand warms your feet. "How have you been sleeping lately?" Thomas asked
"I sleep well" you send him a soft smile as he returns the smile and trace smoothing circles on your back.
The three of you watch the ocean for a moment without a word, you look to the sand as you inhaled deeply. Minho's eyes fell on you, and you turned to him with a soft weak smile. "Hey,"
with a small forced chuckle from the black haired boy, he replied "Hey"
"I'm glad you're both okay" you glanced at your feet, "I don't know what i would've done if you guys couldn't make it"
they nodded, looking at you for a while before minho replied; "i didn't expect that i'll made it here too"
thomas chuckle, "everything feels like a dream"
you didn't reply anything and just watch the waves getting closer to your feet. "I'm hungry, i think i'm gonna go get something to eat, see you both later" with that, you walked off
you weren't actually hungry, you felt empty. you just needed a reason to walk away. talking to them remind you so much of Newt and what happened that night.
Newt's hands are cold. His eyes empty. He's gone. tears pouring faster, and you wipe the tears away roughly.
"You can't leave me like this. not now, not later. you promised me you'll never leave me. please, newt. please. answer me."
you sighed.
Slowly, you made your way to get food, dragging your feet behind you. You stared at your surroundings, fiddling the hem of your shirt, trying desperately to not think of Newt but failed miserably. everything feels weird without him. the feeling that something is missing.
But as you looked to your left, there he stood, your eyes widened in surprise and you shake your head.
'stop, he's not here anymore, don't imagine things and pull yourself together y/n. he's gone.' you remind your self, trying so hard to not take a double look to check, but you couldn't hold your self so you looked. this time hoping he'd be there
you saw him.
again.
then the reality comes crashing down as you looked at him.
you froze. you stared at the blonde boy.
Newt.
your eyes locked at the sight your seeing. it's really him.
"Hey what's wrong?" Minho asked looking at you concerned.
You stood there, still frozen.
"Did you change your mind? do you not want to eat pancakes?" Minho asked
You finally found your words, and say what was holding your voice stuck in your throat. "that's... newt?"
his eyes fall to the direction your looking at. it took him a second to process it was really him as you both stood frozen.
Newt. The blonde boy. The love of your life. The one that died that night, is now running fast towards the two of you. He hugged you both tightly.
Thomas stared at him with surprise from afar, dropping his glass of water and run to our direction, hugging newt tightly as the corner of his eyes start to water.
Minho and Thomas asking him many 'how' questions as he replied "I'll answer all of your bloody questions later" his british accent ringing in your ears, making you cry. Is this really newt? but how?
"Newt.." the sound of your voice made him turn to you and smiled lovingly with tears in his eyes.
"Hey gorgeous" He opened his arms to hug you, you jump into his arm immediately feeling his warmth, solid and everything, He held you tightly against his chest.
You buried your head in his neck and your tears wetting your cheeks, tears drenching his shirt. you smiled a little. for the first time your truly smiled after you lost him. you hugged him tighter, still wanting to feel the warmth of his body and his touch as you feel him pressing his lips into your forehead and the smell of his body that you missed so much is enough to make you feel like you're home.
anywhere with him is home.
"Newt.."
"I'm here"
you finally pulled away, to look at him. those dark brown pair of eyes, his caramel colored hair that turned to a vibrant shade of gold when the sun hits his hair. oh how much you missed them.
it feels so unreal seeing him right now in front of you, you don't know if it was real or not.
he smiled at you again. that smile. the one you missed so much.
you hugged him again, this time with your head on his chest, he held your head in one hand and and your back in his other, pulling you closer and putting his head on top of yours gently.
you pulled away again, running your thumbs on his cheek and lips, realizing all the black veins, black eyes and popping veins we're gone. he's back to normal.
Minho spoke up, "But how? you..you we're stabbed and you died,"
"Yeah, we see you died that night in her arms, it doesn't make any sense" Thomas added.
"To be bloody honest, i don't know how myself. but i think y/n's blood touched my wound when we fought that night and it killed the virus and i survived, then i woke up surrounded by people, cured, and they led me here." he finished, looking at them.
"who we're those people?" thomas asked
"who ever those people are, I'm happy to have you back shuck face." minho laughed.
"and i'm happy to be back" newt smiled at us all, before whispering into my ear, "we've got a lot to talk about" he grinned.
Thomas glanced at minho, signalling to him to give you both time to talk. minho nods in response. "You must be hungry newt, let's make more food for them, and give them space to talk alone" Minho whispered the last few words and left with the others leaving you and newt alone.
"We'll meet you there later!" newt called back and turned to you, grinning.
he sit down at the sand, and pat the sand next to him, signalling you to sit next to him, so you did. he looked directly to you, breaking the silence.
"i miss you"
your eyes widened at the sudden confession, your eyes start to heat up and tears start to flood your eyes making your vision blurry.
"sorry, i didn't mean to make you cry" he looks at you softly and wipes your tears gently.
"you don't know how much i miss you and how hard it was losing you" you started. "it felt so weird without you here, it's like something's missing" you gazed at your lap
"i'm sorry for that night, i should've told you and try to work it out together like you said, but it was the best way to protect you" he started
you nodded as you understand the word 'that night' referring to the night you both argued because he hide the fact he was infected and you both broke up because of it.
"that night when i finally turned to a crank, i know i shouldn't have attacked you, but something in me is screaming for your blood, and in the end i hurt you, i'm sorry love." he whispered. your surprised at the last word, he used to call you that before you both broke up.
you forced a chuckle. you definitely missed being called that. you smiled at him "i understand and yes, i forgive you newtie. i always will."
he felt his heart skipped a beat at the familiar nickname you called him
newtie.
his words stuck in his throat as he tried to get him self to continue say the things he was planning to say but he failed miserable, after a second he finally forced out the words.
"and i know we had a bloody argument and we're not together anymore but i still love you y/n. i didn't mean the words i say when i told you i don't love you anymore and i don't need you caring about me, i still love you so freaking much and i really love it when your care for me, so..."
his voice getting quieter as he looks at you nervously, trying to observe your expression as his voice stuck in his throat for the second time. he lowered his head looking down at his lap, trying to find the perfect words to tell to you
'it's now or never'
"listen, the point of what i'm trying to say is, do you think it's too late to continue what we had?" he glanced at you and made eye contact with you
you chuckled at his nervousness. "so you're trying to say that you want to get back with me and continue our relationship?"
"if you still love me, well yeah" you chuckled
"i still love you newt"
"then, it's a yes?" he tilt his head and grinned at you, happy with your answer and now hoping you would agree to his offer
"why would i refuse?" you answered.
"bloody hell, come here" he smiled, he leans up, closer to you and kiss you. you kiss him back.
he hugs your body as your arms snaked its way to his neck and your fingers run to his hair, your fingers tangled in his hair. he pulled your body more closer, colliding yours with his until it you can feel his body warmth.
you both pulled away when minho suddenly yelled "Y/N, FOOD'S READY
you turn to newt. "You ready to meet everyone else?"
he nods. "yeah, let's go"
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
you walk in together, and you see the moment everybody's faces turn into shock except for minho and thomas, who was smiling widely at you both. you guessed that both of them haven't told the other's.
gally's eyes fall to yours, as if he's asking confirmations from you. you nod at him and smiled. gall's eyes widened and start to water.
"hey?" newt gives a little wave nervously as he watched the others exchanging glances with each other, and then gally, frypan and the other's moved, leaving the table they're sitting in and charged towards newt with a hug as newt happily hugs all of them tightly and didn't let go until thomas butt's in.
"alright everyone, let's eat as much as we want as a celebration AND STOP THE HUGGING SESSION, newt haven't eaten anything at all today"
they roared with laughter and finally pulled away from the hug.
standing beside you, minho chuckled and whispered, "you're happy aren't you?"
you smiled and nodded at him. "is it that obvious?"
"yes y/n, it's so obvious" you both laughed.
suddenly you feel someone hold your hand. you turned to see newt grinning before he pulls you into a sudden deep kiss as everybody else laughed. you both pulled away after everyone yells 'do it somewhere, you love birds!!' and your ears turn into a shade of red as newt's lips turn into a wide grin
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newtkive Β· 3 months
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pixels [newt x reader - modern text au]
ch. 4 - agoraphobia and burger king on 5th street
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summary: a personal experience provides a way for newt to connect to y/n.
warnings: strong language, mental health talk, depression, medication (its my literal prescription i mention oops this is like a self insert fr), mutual pining, none really.
βž₯ m.list
--
THE GLADE
[ 10:52 am ]
y/n: it’s official yall
drugs saved my life
tommy: huh??
minho: same
newt: wow, i’ve never seen your name on my screen before 12 pm
y/n: shut the hell up bitch
newt: ouch, touchy
minho: woah
touchy πŸ‘€
are yallll..?
y/n: you’re sick
tommy: are we going to ignore the drugs statement??
like hello are u ok ??
newt: you’re annoying minho
minho: yea <3 😊
notice how they didn’t say no
y/n: you guys just don’t understand how a girl like me needs beauty sleep..
and no we aren’t
gally: all that beauty sleep and ur still walking around with that mug.. yikes.
y/n: πŸ˜‘
i hate you i haete you i dhateoyifu
minho: great she’s having a fit
y/n: no one cares about me
and you think i’m ugly
this is so sick
and you don’t even care that i’m on drugs
☹️😭😭😭😭 done.
newt: no one said that love
gally that was rude
minho: BRUHHHHH
here she goes
tommy: I CAREE????????
DO I NEED TO COMEGET YOU????
y/n: yes 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
before i do something crazy πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ’£
minho: THE BOMB IS WILD
tommy: stay where you are
i have your location
newt: uhhh
y/n: pause what
minho: tommy why would you admit to that
tommy: im On my way! what’s the issue
sorry autocorrect
y/n: WHY DO YOU HAVE MY LOCATION????
gally: can you guys shut the fuck up
minho: the drama queen is here 😍
gally: stop
alby: I have it on Life360, I imagine Thomas does as well. In fact I have all of your locations.
y/n: oh
i forgot about that app..
minho: i didn’t. i get a notif that newt’s phone is at 5% all the goddamn time
even tho he said he deleted it
newt: just turn it off then
i redownloaded it don't track my app intake
minho: no it makes me feel less lonely
y/n: awwwww
idk how you do that newt
newt: do what?
y/n: not charge your phone
if my phone gets below like 15% then the monsters will get me
tommy: omg me tooo πŸ₯Ή
newt: i was about to say you sound like tommy.
tommy: don’t say that!
she’s on drugs i don’t want to sound like an addict πŸ˜”
newt: she isn’t on drugs thomas
tommy: she literally said she is newt :/
5 mins and i’m there y/n
y/n: are you actually fr
thomas..
we live very far away sweetie
newt: i mean
if you were in trouble you don’t think we’d come get you?
tommy: ^^
but life360 says you’re at the burger king on 5th
minho: no that’s me LOOOL
y/n: NEWTTT ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️
tommy: wtf
i’m the one who’s coming to get u
why does he get the credit
minho: no tommy you’re coming to get me
tommy: oh yippee i get to see my friend πŸ€—
newt: ewwwwww
y/n: EWWWWW
tommy: OH STOP IT
y/n: why burger king of all places min
minho: why drugs of all things y/n
gally: she’s not doing drugs are you guys fuckin insane
y/n: yes i am
it’s 10 mg of fluoxetine ����😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
ONCE A DAY!!!!!!
IM ADDICTED
newt: no you aren’t, 10 mg is the smallest dose
minho: told y’all she was on drugs
y/n: ???????
minho: over the year
you’re too hyper to not be on some crack shit
tommy: oh stop that’s not nice.
newt: it’s not drugs like that minho stop.
tommy: uhoh he brought out the . at the end
y/n: it’s just for anxiety cuz i can’t leave the house without going into a breakdown
minho: she got acrophobia
told y’all she was mental
newt: what the fuck are you talking about
tommy: oh i know that word
fear of spiders πŸ•·οΈ
minho: wtf no
fear of outside
y/n: i’m not afraid of outside
newt: that’s agoraphobia you fucking dumbass
y/n: 😍
i did NOT mean to send that lol oops
newt: ??
oh, okay
minho: when he’s a know it all 😍
when she’s agoraphobic 😍
y/n: when he’s at burger king on 5th because he has no food in his fridge and can only afford a $1.99 whopper with the coupons from the newspaper 😍😍😍😍
minho: πŸ˜’πŸ˜‘
newt: LMFAOOOO
GOOD THAT
minho: british people be so annoying
saying shit like gormless minger and good that be sooo real rn
newt: i have never said gormless minger in my whole 26 years of life.
y/n: you just did bro
newt: call me bro again
y/n: bro
brosive
brother
stepbro
minho: laughed until i saw the last msg :/
newt: πŸ˜‘
y/n: ok youre the perverts
minho: cant you take your prozac and turn back to normal now
y/n: so you DO know what it is..
gally: wym 'back to normal' like there was smth before this??
y/n: real i been like this for life
tommy: i got whopper and two large fries and mozzarella sticks
newt: wow
y/n: wow just call him a fatass newt.
newt: i would never, stop
y/n: 2 large fries is kinda crazy tho
tommy: i have to get enough to share with my friend
minho
gally: surprised you have friends
tommy: yeah you are not one.
gally: RUDE?
y/n: WELL LMFAO
minho: i literally already ate also gally ur not my friend either
newt: same
alby: same
gally: well why tf am i in here
y/n: well you're my friend!
gally: great.
y/n: not with that attitude..
tommy: y/n you're ok though right??
y/n: yes tommy im fine sweetie
go eat your food
tommy: okay i wish you could share these fries with me
y/n: me too :(
minho: i don't
big back would eat em all
y/n: i actually hate you
__
newt
[ 11:45 am ]
newt: hey
y/n: hiii :D whats up??
newt: idk why but this feels like secretly texting you across the room at a party
y/n: actually tho
picture me giving u a look from across the room
newt: you would blow our cover immediately
i just wanted to let you know if you needed any like,, advice or something with your new medicine i'm here for you. i take the same stuff on top of lexapro
y/n: oh really?
newt: yeah i do
y/n: newt :( thank you
i am a bit nervous to start it tbh
newt: i understand, i was too
but hopefully it'll change things for the better
y/n: i hope so
i didn't realize you dealt with anxiety n stuff
newt: more than you know
you aren't the only one and you aren't alone w it
y/n: you're sweet newt, thank you
newt: don't mention it :))
sorry the smiley was creepy
y/n: lmao no i like it
if you need to talk or anything too i’m always here
newt: yeah?
y/n: of course ): you’re my pookie
newt: one day you gotta let go of that word lmao
y/n: but you love it tho
newt: you tell yourself that
actually are you free rn?
y/n: yeah! i’m just about home what’s up?
newt: i’m bored so pick up the phone
y/n: NEWT LMAO
ok fine πŸ˜’
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incorrectanything Β· 2 months
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Bruce: Just do it, Y/N!
Y/N: Are you sure this is how people ask each other out?
Bruce: Yes!
Y/N: Alright then.
*Walks over to Charles*
Y/N: Charles, will you be the top to my bottom?
Charles: *starts choking*
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nessie-writes Β· 1 year
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Alone - Thomas Brodie Sangster
Summary: Thomas sees you a month after your break up.
Warnings: None
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It was a sunny autumn day in London. Thomas ran his fingers though his hair, releasing a sigh of disappointment as his eyes adjusted to the sunlight peaking though the crack in the curtains. His body felt cold despite the warmth radiating from the sun rays. The space left open besides him, only hurt him more. He closed his eyes, hoping to feel a similar sense to when you were laying by his side. As the memory faded, he pulled himself out of bed, reaching for his phone. 12:38pm. It was unlike him to sleep in. Blinding himself in the process, the blond separated the curtain, revealing the busy streets of London. The air was anything but fresh, filled by the typical city aromas. He decided anywhere but here would be better. After fully awaking up and preparing himself for the day, he left his home while also hoping to abandon the memory of you.
The sun was at its peak. Thomas decided to leave his coat inside the car, as his admired the view of the parks greens. The park included a small pathway decorated by many plants. At the end of the path, it greeted him with a large pond with ducks swimming around. Thomas starred enchanted by the vibrant colours layout messily on the ground. The weather was warm upon his face, but it still had a light breeze preventing it from being hot. He walked closer to the lake, his favourite setting in the park. He froze.
His body started to shake lightly, there you were. In another mans hands, despite it only being a month since the two of you separated. Thomas felt himself adore your smile, the sun perfectly displaying a light shine on your face. Your hair ran lightly with the breeze, you were well dressed, matching the colours surrounding you. Thomas felt a stray tears fall unpin his cheek, you looked so happy in the moment. The man you were stood with spoke up, your face lit up, your eyes creasing at whatever joke he had just told. Your smile was twice as wide as it had ever been with him. He noticed a bright colours faded. He assumed he was over you. Or at least thats was he hoped. Despite it being obvious, he told everyone he was over you.
Thomas was captivated by every moment you made. The way you hand lifted to your hair to brush it back, all the way to the way you lightly tapped the floor with your foot. You were everything he needed, everything he wanted, all that he would ever love. Yet here he stood alone, watching you.
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graciepasty Β· 3 months
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Newt. The Maze Runner (2014).
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islayhawkin Β· 3 months
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Savior
Jack dawkins x f!reader
Summery: you get hurt and jack does everything in his power to save you
Request: i loooooove your writing and i was wondering if you could do a htc with jack dawkins, maybe reader gets hurt and he had to operate & just them after xxx
A/N: ahh thank you so much! I'd never miss a chance to write angst and hurt/comfort 😌 Jack is one of the most unfamiliar characters for me right now so Iβ€˜m still trying to figure him out but Iβ€˜m happy that you guys seem to like it
Warnings!: blood, wounds, surgeries (basically everything that happens in the show too)
Angst, hurt/comfort
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It had been a usual work day at the hospital for jack. Almost boringly so. Nothing really seemed to happen. No surgeries were planned. Only patients with some problem or another. That was until you came falling into his arms in the evening. Literally.
You stumbled into the hospital door with a hand on your bleeding abdomen. Your breath was heavy and you tried to blink the nauseous feeling away but had to hold yourself up against the wall. It left a bloody print on it but you didnβ€˜t notice as you staggered over to Jacks room.
It wasn’t really logical to aim for Jacks room since he probably was still at work in the hospital but it was the first place you could think of. Lucky for you, Jack turned the corner into the hall and discovered you slumping against the wall.
His heart almost came to a stop at the sight before starting to bound out of control again. He ran over to your side with long strides and quickly wrapped his arm around your waist to holy you upright. His hands were shaking.
"What happened?" His accent was thicker than usual, panicked.
"Stabbed." You breathed out, barely getting the word out.
Jack cursed under his breath and quickly took action. He pulled his neckerchief from his neck and pressed it against the wound earning ragged breaths from you.
"Apologies. Press it." He ordered firmly. You had never seen him quite so stern with you. But Jack had no time for gentle words, he had to act quickly.
He swiftly picked you up bridal style with his hand in the crook of your knee and carried you over to the operation table. Meanwhile he screamed for Hetty or any nurse or help nearby for that matter.
You hang limply in his arms. Though you tried to follow his order to press the cloth against your abdomen, it was difficult to mentain the strength in your arm.
The feeling of your limp body against him didn't help Jacks panic. It wasn't as if the wound seemed so gruesome. He had seen and operated a lot more but this was different. It was you.
Usually he went into surgeries with ease. He put on a show for the audience, operate with steady hands and show off a bit. Now he wasn't even sure if he could do it.
It was his heart that looked at you not his brain. But he needed to push through and shut his heart off for a moment.
Jack pushed some things roughly from the operation table, which made a clattering sound as the stuff hit the floor.
At last Hetty rushed into the room too and her eyes widened at the sight before her. She knew what you meant to him.
Jack looked up briefly as she entered. "We need to check for any interanal demage immediately, then sew it close."
With quick fingers Jack pucked up his gear and sat it on the side table.
"Are you sure you are in a position to perform this surgery dr dawkins?" Hetty asked hesitantely.
"I have to." Jack snapped at her.
"Jack..." you whispered trying to catch his attention.
His eyes flew to yours and what he saw in them broke him. You were afraid. Terrified. He felt as if you were afraid of him. He was gonna cut you open, he was going to hurt you. But he needed to.
He swallowed. "It'll be okay love. I promise. I'm going to have to operate on you now but you will not feel anything." He tried to reassure you. Desperate to get that terrified look off of your face.
You searched him with your hand and gripped onto his pants. You needed some kind of closure to him. He understood and took your hand in his. Giving it a reassuring squeeze. There was blood smeared everywhere on your hands but that didn't matter.
He held a mask over your mouth with his other hand. "Just breathe. You'll feel nothing." He whispered.
That's the last thing you remembered before you slipped into a sweet sleep.
The moment you were out jack immediately went into action and took the scalpel from hettys hand. His hand trembled slightly and he pinched his fingers together in a attempt to get it under control.
It felt so wrong to hurt you. Of course he knew that he was just saving you. He did that on a daily basis. But your delicate form usually snuggled up against him, the one he was made to protect, to cut with a knife made him almost feel it on his own skin.
Hetty gave him a concerned look but didn't say anything else. He tried to focus on the task at hand and definately not look at your face. He had to take short breaks where he leaned on the desk and breathed deeply in and out but in the end the procedure went well.
After he had closed you up and checked for the 10th time if you still had pulse and were breathing, he picked you up in his arms gently and carried you to a free bed in a seperate room with ease. He'd get you positioned in his room later anyways.
It was dark already so he lit a candle on your bedside table.
He took a deep breath and gave himself permission to relax for the first time since you came stumbleing in. He got a blanket and gently draped it over you. He checked your pulse again and sat down on a chair next to your bed.
Jack slumped down and put his head in his hands. It had been terrible to witness, to do himself and it didn't leave him unscathered. The dried blood was still on his hands as he went through his hair.
He was distressed to say the least by this whole situation, not only felt he responsible for what happened to you, as if he should have protected you better, shouldn't have to cut you open, but also was this feeling terrifieingly new to him.
Jack was a street kid. He had grown up seeing gore and death. And he was a surgeon. He was living with death constantly. He had a living human under his hands daily. But with you it made him feel terrified.
He also wasn't very often terrified. His eyes moisted up. And he blinked hastily to get it away again.
So he engulfed your smaller hand in his big, calloused one. He had always loved the feeling of your hand in his. It made him feel like he was protecting you even though he failed so miserably in real.
You started to gain consciousness again as you blinked your eyes open slowly. The first thing you noticed was that everything hurt. The second was your hand resting in another and your gaze fluttered to jack on your side. He honestly looked a mess. Not that he looked less good because of it.
"You look like a mess." You muttered your thought out loud.
His head snapped up at the sound of your voice. "You're awake." He checked you over even though he knew excactly what state you were in.
Your hand softly squeezed his.
"How are you feeling? Are you feeling sick or dizzy?" He started to pepper you with questions.
"Feels horrible. Like I was hit by a horse." you croaked out.
Jack grimaced. "Yeah that's normal." He opened his mouth to start a sentence but clamped it shut again. Swallowing.
"I was really afraid." He whispered. His big brown eyes looking at yours sincerly.
You smiled weakly. "I was too. I'm glad you were there. Thank you."
He shook his head. "No that's not- I should've been there for you. I'll never forget that frightened look on your face...what happened excactly?"
You sighed and closed your eyes. "I was assaulted. Honestly I'm not sure what they wanted. Probably harass and rob me or something. Well I fought against them and it seemed they didn't like that very much. Stabbed me in the gut and left me on the street."
Jack ran a hand over his face. "I am so sorry. Still I'm glad that you at least weren't sexually assaulted... I shouldn't have let you gone outside alone. I told you it was too dangerous!" Jacks eyes started to wet again at the mental image.
"No. There is always a risk I know that. But i don't want you to- and I can't ask you to escort me everywhere I go. Just...thank you for saving me jack."
"Of course. I was bloody shaking doing that you know?" He gave you a small smile.
"You are the most chill person in a surgery." You stated confused.
"Well not when it's you under my scalpel."
He took the side of your face in his hands. Your skin was still pale. His eyes were switching between yours. "I don't want anything to happen to you ever again. I don't think I could bare it." He whispered. His face incredibly close to yours.
You layed your hand on to of his. "You're always there to save me if it should hapoen again doctor dawkins."
"I cannot fathom a life without you in it Y/N." He whispered.
You smiled lovingly up at him. "Will you join me in bed?"
He grinned widely. "Gladly darlin'. We have to be careful of your wounds though so no thigh cuddleing."
"Probably for the best." You groaned slightly as your attention turned back to the pain.
He got into bed next to you. It was a thigh fit but neither of you minded it at all. His movements were very careful and tender as he wrapped his arm around you.
You relaxed against him as he soothed the pain a bit away.
"I'll never let that happen again." He whispered rather to himself before a sweet slumber overcame you both.
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sailor-aviator Β· 2 months
Text
Two Birds Masterlist
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Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader x Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw
Summary: Growing up in the midwest meant that you weren't exposed to many of the dangers of the world, and it also meant that you missed out on some of what life had to offer. Taking a leap, you move to New York City with a few personal belongings and the little money you have left in your savings. You become good friends with your roommate and, by extension, the people at the club she works at. However, it isn't long until you catch the eye of not one, but two mafia bosses that rule the city with an iron grip. Will you stay out of their clutches, or will you give in and become another pawn in their wicked games? (Mafia!AU)
Series Warnings: Violence (Guns, Fists, Knives, etc.), Alcohol, Some dubious consent (reader is into it, but is coaxed into things), Sharing, Polygamy, Polyamory, Drugs, Threats (against others and at times the reader), Criminal Activity, Kidnapping, Torture, Murder, Cursing, Smut, Dom/Sub vibes, Fluff, Angst, Drama. Chapters will have their own individual warnings.
Just to be safe, though: DEAD DOVE, DO NOT EAT! Seriously, there will be some VERY dark themes in this fic. You have been warned.
All posts related to this story will be tagged with "TB" and "Two Birds".
Meet our heroine!
*Denotes smut!
Masterlist
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Series;
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two (Coming Soon)
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Drabbles;
Coming Soon...
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Want more Mafia!TGM? Check out:
By the Skin of Your Teeth by @goldenseresinretriever
Kingpin by @bobgasm
153 notes Β· View notes
redrum-alice Β· 9 months
Text
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Finished this commission πŸ˜­πŸ”πŸ£
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dreamypqulson Β· 11 months
Text
β€” my only sunshine
summary: you’ve been struggling in silence but it hasn’t gone unnoticed.
pairing: cordelia goode x reader
warnings: depression, anxiety, self-harm (pretty detailed, be careful)
word count: 2700
venting again lol
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Your leg shaking up and down was becoming excessive. You could see the girls next to you becoming annoyed, but you hardly realized that you were doing it. Tears pooled in your eyes and it burned so badly to hold them in. Why does Cordelia have to look at me so much? Why can't she just glance over me like everyone else and let me wallow away in the corner?
Everyone knew that you were Cordelia's special girl. You didn't think it had anything to do with your powers, she just liked you. And you liked her. But that was it; you were both too afraid to acknowledge it. What she wasn’t aware of was your history with mental health, which you tried so hard to conceal from her.
You don't think you were doing a very good job hiding it this time. How could you hide the fact that you don't want to live anymore?
Everyone knew you looked terrible lately. Madison had even pointed it out. Your eyes were dark, and hollow, and you just didn't look like yourself. Madison said you were just a freak that was too caught up in your studies to barely allow yourself some time to sleep, but Cordelia knew that wasn't true. Matter of fact, it was the complete opposite.
Cordelia dismissed yet another class that had completely gone through one ear and out the other. Spacing out is the one time that you actually feel safe and you so happen to be the best at it during class.
Everyone rushed out. You were a little slower because you were so exhausted and picking up your books felt like you were ripping open the cuts on your wrist. You thought you could feel like blood dripping down, but it might've just been your anxiety freaking you out.
"Oh, y/n, could you stay for a minute, love," Cordelia asked when you were by the doorway, ever so sweet but you still bit the inside of your mouth until you could taste blood.
You spun slowly on your heels. You loved Cordelia but you didn't want to stay. You were terrified of confrontation and you just wanted to throw yourself into your bed again.
You didn't respond and kept a great distance between you and Cordelia. She was so warm, she was your comfort, and you ached to have her hold you, but you just wanted the darkness right now.
She still walked closer towards you and you almost started to cry from the nerves. You started scratching at your band-aid covered wrists. You don't know why you do that when your nervous, it just feels good in the moment.
She looked down at your arms, then back up at you. Does she know? Did your sleeve rise when you went to reach for something? "Relax, honey. You're not in trouble. I just want to check on you."
"I'm fine," it came out weak.
She raised an eyebrow at you and gave you that look. Anyone could tell that you weren't okay, it was just a matter of who would be there for you when you fall apart.
Your bottom lip started to tremble. A clear indication that you were ready to break down. Cordelia just watched, letting you control yourself before she made you explode completely.
"How about we take a walk outside, around the house, and get some fresh air, yeah?" You nodded and you were suddenly following her out the door. Anything someone says to you hasn't really been processing in your head. You truly just feel like a leaf being blown in every direction.
It was nice out, slightly chilly with a breeze, but it did not seem to snap you from your state of mind. It was quiet for a minute before Cordelia began talking to you again. You knew she was trying to distract you from your thoughts, but it's not really want you want right now.
"So what have you been up to, missy? Are you still writing?" She looked over at you, gently smiling. She loved reading all of your work, but it had been a few weeks since she had. She's been a little bit busy and you've been locking yourself in your room.
"Yeah, a little bit, I guess." It was a complete lie, but your didn't feel like getting into the fact that you could hardly bring yourself to even get out of bed, let alone write.
She wanted to have a full conversation with you, but you weren't having it. She just became silent as you both finished the walk around the building. She always takes you to walk around the city with her, but she had an inkling that you weren't going to want to leave the property.
Cordelia didn't want to let you go yet. She had a bad feeling and she knew something just wasn't right with you. She felt uneasy. But she couldn't hold you back when you told her you had to go study. You would never pass up hanging out with Cordelia to study, and she knew that, but she just let you go.
When you got to your room, it was all messy. Had you had the energy to keep it as tidy as you always did then maybe your anger levels wouldn't have increased when you walked in. You decided to ignore it and step over the pile of clothes and make your way into the bathroom.
There, you dug through your drawer, looking for the blade that you kept hidden in the back. It was the one place that nobody could accidentally stumble upon it.
You sat down on the closed toilet lid and pulled up your left sleeve. Ripping off the bandaids had not even hurt as much as they should, you didn’t even flinch. You began cutting any free skin on your inner arms that you could. You hated that there wasn't that much room anymore due to all the other cuts, but you just couldn't seem to stop.
Sometimes it made you feel crazy but it mostly made you get some release. You knew you should at least try to stop with summer approaching but getting clean is never your top priority in the moment. Not when your arms start aching for more.
You just sit there with a blank face and watch as drops of blood start pooling at the thin lines and then you start dabbing it away with a tissue and apply some pressure.
Your heart absolutely drops when you hear a knock on your bathroom door. You weren’t expecting a visitor at your room, but living in this busy house, you never really get alone time.
"Y/n, it's me darling. Dinners ready." How could you have been so in your head that you lost track of time. You hardly even had an appetite but you knew that Cordelia was already having suspicions about you. You just had to act like everything was alright.
"Okay I'll be right down." Instead of wrapping your arm up, you simply just ran it under water for a moment and then pulled your sleeve down. It definitely stung, but you were starting to enjoy it.
When you walked out of the bathroom, Cordelia was waiting on your bed for you. You were expecting her to already be downstairs with the other girls, but she clearly had other plans.
"You're always neat, sweetie. What's going on with you?" You shrugged again, and soon, you thought, she's going to forget what your voice even sounds like. You began to walk out your room, and you can hear her shuffling behind you before she finally catches up. "Not in the mood to talk today?"
You'd rather Cordelia just hold you and whisper sweet nothings in your ear without expecting an answer. But at the moment, she's completely worried and just wants you to open up. "Not really, Cordelia."
She lets you slide again, but she can't take her eyes off of you all throughout dinner. She's sitting at the head of the table and you're at the first seat next to her. When you reach for your plate, she notices something that she wishes she didn't. She wishes it wasn't even there.
Your sleeve slides up, only slightly, and she can see smeared crimson on your wrist. Her heart sink and she has to swallow down the lump in her throat. After that, she cannot even look at you, or anyone for that matter, for the rest of dinner. She wasn't angry or embarrassed of you. Just so, so upset over the fact that her girl was hurting so badly.
Dinner finishes fairly fast. You notice there's not much chatter, and it must be from Cordelia's lack of interest in any of the conversation. You start worry that you hurt her feelings. She's always catching up with you and the girls - mostly you - during dinner, but today she hadn't even said a word.
"Y/n, meet me in my room please," Cordelia says, and it sounds almost cold compared to her typical soft voice. She walks away and heads towards her bedroom and your heart completely sinks. You fidget with the hem of your shirt and make way towards her room.
The door is ajar and by the time you're there, Cordelia is sitting on her bed in tears. This is it; she's going to kick you out.
"Cordelia?" You say and gather her attention back to you. She quickly wipes away her tears like you weren't supposed to see that, but there's no hiding her red, puffy eyes.
"Sit down please," she hardly looks you in the eyes. It's terrifying.
"Iβ€”" you attempt to argue. She has no part in that.
"Just sit down, y/n."
You sit beside her and it's so close that you bunch up your sleeve in your hand. You're consistently terrified of it rising. "Show me your arm."
"Whatβ€”"
"Show me, y/n. I know what's going on. I know that you are hurting yourself."
You hug your arm closer to your body and can feel the sting like it's mocking you. Tears are instantly sprung to your eyes and it's clear that this situation isn't just a big misunderstanding.
"No! Leave me alone, Cordelia. What is wrong with you? Why would I ever do that." But you do do it and those words hurt so much. You wouldn't ever be so harsh to Cordelia, but you're not in the right mental state right now.
Cordelia's crying again and all you can think about is cutting up your arm for making her feel like that. You need to hurt yourself to pay for the faults you're causing and Cordelia can see right through that.
Her voice is very quiet and desperate as she speaks, "Baby, please. Please let me help you, I can't just pretend that it's not going on. I care about you too much."
This completely causes you to break down. You never had someone truly care about you. This is something that you've been yearning for forever.
You melt into Cordelia's body and she hugs you tightly, as if she let go, all of the pieces of you would just shatter everywhere. You can feel her tears start leaking through onto your shirt and you know she feels it too. "Please, y/n," she whispers, "I love you. Let me in, it's just me, it's only Cordelia."
You finally pull back and wipe away your tears. It doesn't stop another fresh batch of warm tears to roll down your face. You don't want to keep hiding this anymore. You need help. You need someone. You need her.
You take a deep breath and tug up your sleeve. You can't even bare to look at her face. Ashamed, and embarrassed, and scared. But you hear a sharp intake of breath from her. The bleeding from the cuts before dinner only made it look far worse on your fucked up skin.
"Oh, my baby," she sniffles and grabs your arm, gently. Your heart is too heavy. She's trying so hard to be strong for you. "Why," she looks up at you with watery eyes, waiting for an honest answer.
"Everything's just too much, Delia. I don't want to be me anymore. I hate being me, I hate living!" You started sobbing again and the crack in your voice doesn't go unnoticed. This is new and weird and you don't like it. You don't want to talk about yourself anymore. You can see her heart breaking in half from your words.
"My little sunshine...do you know I love you? I love the person that you say you hate so much." You don't have anything to say to that. Cordelia loves you. And you don't know how, but she does. You don't know how this whole could have any room for the broken half of you. β€œI couldn’t live without seeing your pretty smile and listening to you ramble to me about all the little things you love. So if you hate living so much, then let me love it for the both of us until you learn to.”
It’s silent for a couple moments that pass by until she looks back down at your arm again. It's a bloody mess and you don't want her to look anymore but she's still holding on. "Can I clean it? Can I do that for you?"
You nod and then you're being walked to her bathroom. It's bigger than yours and the entire room smells like her lavender shampoo that you always love taking in when she hugs you. She helps you to sit up on the counter. Your arm feels heavy from all the attention being on it but she so carefully cleans away the blood and it makes you feel a little bit better.
She covers it with bandaids. Not because she is disgusted by it. She's not at all. She just doesn't want anything infecting the fresh ones.
When she’s done, she lifts your arm up to her lips and, so delicately, kisses the covered cuts. A few tears start rolling down your face again. You’re too emotional for this. β€œDelia…”
β€œI love you,” she looks back up to you. Her words are so clear and genuine. β€œCome to me. I don’t care where we are or what time it is. Come to me whenever you feel like this.” You nod, your bottom lip trembling. She reaches her hand up and brushes her thumb over your lips. β€œIt’s not going to be easy but i’m going to help you. We can make a plan and safe alternatives, anything that’ll help.”
She leans in and kisses your forehead, slow and light and your heart beats a little bit faster. β€œI love you too, Cordelia,” you croak out and she gives you that little smile.
β€œCome on, my little sunshine, let’s get some rest, hm?” She grabs your hand and brings you to her own bed. You’ve never slept with Cordelia before but it all feels natural. You lay your head on her chest and her arms wrap around your body. For once, you feel a sliver of happiness that you’ve been deprived of for so long.
The room is silent besides her soft breaths and the sound of cars rushing by. You finally break that silence after a few minutes.
β€œDelia?”
β€œHm?” She peaks down a you and a small smile is present on her face again.
β€œWhy do you always call me your little sunshine?” You say it with a slight giggle in your voice. You love all the nicknames she has for you, but this one stands out and makes your heart warm.
β€œBecause, sweetie, I was in a very similar situation as you. But then you came into my life and suddenly there was light again.”
You looked up at her and bite your lip. You could’ve never imagined a woman like her feeling as terrible as you do. She’s too…perfect. But maybe, suddenly, you won’t feel so ashamed of your emotions anymore. You lean forward and place your sweet lips on hers. Just for a moment, for the first time in your life, you see a bit of sunlight shine through the cracks of your eyelids.
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the-fiction-witch Β· 25 days
Text
Mrs Dawkins P37 - 39
Media The Artful Dodger
Character Jack Dawkins
Couple Jack X Reader
Rating SMUT!
Series: Mrs Dawkins
P1 - P5 P6-P10 P11-13 P14-17 P18-22 P23-27 P28- 31 P32-P36
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My fears and my excitement thought a war in the bottom of my stomach who was winning I didn't know but I knew I couldn't dare ask him to stop. I wanted nothing more than for this night to be endless, for the sun to never rise, for my father to never return, to spend the rest of time within his arms. Our kisses were still hot and passion-filled, each of his warm lip movements against mine ripped the very air from my lungs, took the very shiver from my skin, goosebumps ran across every inch that he touched me, my heart raced in my chest and seemed to echo in my ears.Β 
He kissed down my neck and sternum but he stopped as he reached my breasts, "May I?" He whispered,Β 
I nodded and did my best to not gasp too fast,Β 
He took my breasts in his hands softly cupping them in the palms of his hands, his eyes slightly widened as he took his bottom lip between his teeth staring down at my breasts in his hands, he was gentle at first pushing them up and then releasing his grip slightly letting the weight of them fall back into his grip, he did this a good few times before his fingers began to tighten around the soft tender skin as he pushed them up giving my breasts a gentle squeeze, this continued and each time he squeezed he got a little tighter, a little harsher.
"Enjoying yourself my love?" I teased,
"Umm very much my darling," He grumbled as he laid kisses on my throat, "Aren't you?"
"It tickles," I giggled,Β 
"what about this?" He growled his right hand clasped my breast much firmer and his index finger circled my nipple slowly the rough texture of his fingertips against my smooth skin, he stroked in clockwise circles which tickled me and caused my breath to hitch, slowly but surely my nipple hardened from arousal. Once it reached a peak enough for his fingers to grasp his index finger sat above and his thumb below clamping my nipple between them and slowly rolling it back and forth between his fingers with a gentle pinch,
I whimpered and did my best not to whine as I looked up at the wooden canopy ceiling of my bed, the gentle twist and pinch felt strange but not unwelcomed, it made me want to clamp my thighs together and squirm against the sheets. He took notice of my reaction and hummed against my skin as he kissed down my throat and chest until he reached my hardened nipple he flicked it gently with his tongue forcing a pant out of me. He smiled smugly down at me as he continued to massage my breasts, letting his tongue circle as his fingertip had.Β 
I squirmed and pushed his head away, "Jack no..."
"No? You don't like it? or you don't want me to stop?" he asked kissing down under my breast to the very top of my stomach as his brown eyes kept eye contact with me,
"I uhh- I-" I stuttered, "I'm not sure,"
"I can't keep going if you want me too?"
"No, something else I think,"Β 
"Alright darling," He cooed kissing my lips, "How about I focus a little lower?" he encouraged his fingers trailing my stomach,Β 
I nodded and shifted a little up my bed to rest my head on my pillow, he chuckled and joined me leaning his shoulder on the pillow too. He had a sly smile as he noticed the string on my bedpost, his smile grew as he tugged on it causing the curtains on my canopy bed to close giving us a sweet privacy as if the bed was our own little place.Β 
"Just my hand for now?" He offered and I nodded, "Alright darling," He cooed as our lips met for a few slow and tender kisses his tongue slowly slipping through my lips, I allowed him and toyed with him a little as I felt his warm hand plant itself on my knee.Β 
His hand slowly slid up my thigh as we kissed, he was slow and cautious with me well aware of my inexperience, at that moment it briefly occurred to me...Β 
Jack is a doctor, so of course he KNOWS but... I'm not sure we had ever discussed how experienced he is. My mind began to spiral thinking about it, I'm sure he must be, he's a handsome man I can't be his first, and he was in the navy... likely visited a coastal girl on a docking day as any man would.Β 
"Are you alright?" He chuckled noticing how distant I had been all of a sudden and that I'd stopped kissing him,Β 
"hmmm ohh yeah sorry..." I shook my head out of it's foolishness,
"I'll stop if you want me to-"
"No, no, it's not that."
"Then what?"Β 
"I just had a strange thought is all..." I blushed,Β 
"Oh? yeah, you do find our mind wonders sometimes even in the most intimate of moments," He chuckled, "I mean I'm so desensitized to surgery now days I did an amputation the other way while trying to remember if I did my laundry or not,"Β 
I couldn't hold back my giggles,
"What were you thinking about?"
"Ohh I uhh..."
"Y/n, you're to be my wife you know you can tell me anything," he cooed,Β 
"I was... thinking... this is far from your first isn't it?"
"It is far from my first," he admits, "I take it, not yours?"
"No, very much my first," I blushed,Β 
"Ahh... that would explain the not knowing what you want," he chuckled, "We can stop now, or later, or any other moment you wish. We don't have to do this tonight if you don't want to-"
"But your-"
"My desires. Can be quelled. I wouldn't feel never pleasure if I was hurting you,"Β 
I shook my head, "No, I want this. I want this night to be like our wedding night,"
"Okay," He nodded, "whatever you feel, tell me. I'll stop if every you need me to," he cooed as his fingers slid up my inner thigh,Β 
I blushed as his fingers slipped up my inner thigh, my breath hitched. Even just the feeling of his hand moving closer seemed to feel like a coil winding with tension in my stomach. Often we made eye contact which only sent more blood rushing to my cheeks, his hand massaged my thigh slipping higher and higher until he ran his rough fingers across my untouched soft skin.Β 
"Jack i-" I gasped,Β 
"I know," He cooed, "I've got you, darling," he purred putting his other arm around my back and his hand on my waist, he peppered my neck with small nibbly kisses which only made me giggle, as his hand stroked my lips and gently coated his fingers in the wetness of my flooding arousal, he stroked across my tender flesh before he murmured in my ear, "May I?"
"Yes," I croaked,
His smug look heightened as he gently moved letting his index and middle fingers glide across my clit in soft clockwise circles until it swelled with arousal, I gasped and my back arched a little off my bed my whole body tensing up at his touch, the coil tightening in my stomach. This seemed to amuse him and he continued to rub slightly harder and faster. His tone shifting, "You like that?"
"Yes..."Β 
"Umm... more?"
"Yes," I nodded quickly,
"uhh- you are making it hard to resist you, darling," he growled, he moved his hand and circled my entrance before he slowly and carefully pushed his middle finger to slip inside me,Β 
It felt strange feeling his finger inside me, he moved deeper until he was knuckle deep inside me and then back out again, it didn't hurt but it was a strange sensation, to say the least, but I rather enjoyed it, he moved back and forth a few more times and each time he did I enjoyed it more, feeling his skin rub against my insides was pleasurable, he keeps going forming a pace with his hand gradually speeding up.Β 
I did my best to not blush, not to gasp and moan but he saw through my attempts, his eyes watched me with a dark lustful smirk of pride, he loved what he was doing to me I could see it in his eyes. After a while, he added his index finger inside me too which felt even better being able to slightly squeeze myself on his stiff fingers,Β 
"uhhh! Jack..." I moaned trying to not be loud,Β 
"Yes my darling?" he growled moving slightly to have his thumb rub against my now very swollen clit while his fingers thrusted and massaged my inner walls knuckle deep inside me coated in my wetness,Β 
I moaned and squrimed holding his shoulders tightly, "My stomach it feels... like fire,"
"Fire? like a fire burning out of control?" he muttered,
"Yes,"
"Like a ache between your legs that you can't resist?" He growled,
"Yes..."
"Like a tight tension at the bottom of your cute little tummy?" he purred,
"Yes jack..."
"Humm," he chuckled, "That mean's your gonna cum y/n," he kissed my neck with sloppy kisses,Β 
"I want to..."
"You want to? Ummm f-fuck! again... please say it again..." he whined,
"I want to, I want to cum Jack."
"Ughh! uummmm let me, let me please you, let me pleasure you, let me make you cum darling,"
"Jack please..." I began to whine feeling breathless my eyes rolling back,Β 
he tugged me closer to my head was on his shoulder, "Kiss, bite, suck. all you want my darling." he cooed so I jumped and began to kiss his neck trying to find an escape from all this building pressure, "Uhh! You look so good like this darling, So needy, so desperate, watching my hand please your dripping cunt, God- you're so beautiful like this!" he purred his voice thick with desire, his next words so thick, so luscious I could hear his mouth salivating over these words, "I want to eat you out so bad,"Β 
"Jack!" I blushed latching onto his neck and sucking to conceal my moans, and suddenly a moan rose in my throat, my body trembled and pulsed towards his body as it felt like a damn burst inside me and this wave went over me, curling my toes, throwing back my head, rolling my eyes, making me squeeze my legs around his hand, my vision blurring a little.
"Oh- my god-" He muttered, "you look... so delectable," he growled as he slowed his hand, "There we go, nice and easy, that's my girl," he cooed as he slowed until he completely stopped and pulled his hand away, "How was that for your first?"
I gasped and struggled for breath doing my best to try and make words come out my mouth, "It uhh.... its ....uhh... very good... amazing... actually... thank you..."
he chuckled, "You're very welcome my darling," he smugly smiled before he gave my lips a soft kiss, "You don't have to thank me, but it's very cute," he chuckled,Β 
I couldn't help but giggle a little as we shared a few more soft kisses,
"Now, more? or do you need to rest a little darling?"Β 
"I... I'd like more," I blushed hard, "But, can I do something for you?"
His eyes widened and his eyebrow raised, "Uhh..." He stuttered, before he took my hands in his, "You don't have to do anything for me my darling,"Β 
"But I want to," I blushed, "Please, I'd really like to,"
"Well... okay, but you have to do as I say."Β 
"I will I promise,"Β 
"good girl," he cooed kissing my head,Β 
He blushed a little and I admit the heat rushed to my cheeks to think of what we were to do, or well… what I was to do. Jack shifted and shuffled a little getting us comfortable, a clear nervousness across his face. He squeezed my hand and gave my knuckles a soft kiss before he let my hand stroke down his bare chest his warm smooth skin fluttering against my fingers far smoother than any other part of him I had felt prior. I felt the urge to rest my head there to burrow my nose into his warm skin and sleep for all eternity, I continued to slip my hand down his breath hitching and blood rising to his cheeks. As I reached his stomach I found goosebumps across his skin, his fingers gripped my sheets and as I reached his brown trousers he took his bottom lip between his teeth. I slowly unbuttoned his trousers revealing his tight white undergarments,
"I- uhh-" I blushed,
"Yes Y/n?" he asked,
"I don't think I've ever seen a man's… before," I giggled nervously,
"Really?" He chuckled,
I nodded,
"You are so sweet," He cooed pulling me into a kiss, I happily kissed back and I slid my hand to the waistband of his undergarments,
"May I?" I whispered as I pulled back and met his eyes,
"You may," He nodded,
I moved my hand down and stroked across the soft white cotton as I did I could feel the stiffness below, as I ran my hand over it he quietly gasped, I slid the palm of my hand over the bulge and I felt him twitch up towards my hand, "Ohh- did I-"
"You're fine darling," he cooed, "That's how it tells you it wants you to touch it," He whispered kissing my neck softly and his hand moved to push down his trousers and his undergarments revealing himself to me,
I was a little shocked to see Jack like this, to see him truly exposed in front of me, I was fascinated immediately, to see his slender body, his pale skin, his thin waist, to see how the sweat slightly glistens on his skin, his stomach moving as he takes his breaths, and where my focus mostly was, on his cock. His shaft erected his head pressing to his stomach, the whole thing often twitching and moving slightly,
"May I?"
"Yeah, you can touch," he nodded, "Gently though remember,"
I nodded and moved my hand to slowly wrap my fingers around him without thinking I gave him a slight squeeze feeling the heat of him in my hand as well as feeling that all though he was hard he wasn't completely stiff there was still enough softness for me to squeeze but as soon as I did it stiffened even more getting harder so much so it was now completely stiff, I giggled a little and began to stroke my hand over him.
Jack gasped and tightened his grip on the sheets, his muscles in his stomach tightening,
"This okay?"
"You're fine darling…" He groaned,
I nodded and kept at my slow pace moving my hand from base to tip the longer this went on the more Jack squirmed and shifted, his breath getting more desperate and every so often groans and moans slipped from his lips, his cock throbbing in my hand, "Jack,"
"Yes, darling…"
"May I?" I blushed,
".. what?" He blushed a little,
I giggled but kissed his lips and continued to kiss down his stomach,
"Oh- Yes! Yes… yes, you may my darling,"
I nodded and gently took his cock into my mouth, I gently at first only took the tip and stroked with a pointed tongue around him gliding in clockwise circles, which forced a moan from him and his hips spasm towards my mouth, I pulled back and licked my lips to keep them slick before I parted my lips again and took the length of his shaft, at first I took the time to slowly get a pace moving my head back and forth as I gently sucked hollowing my cheeks around him, his eyes roll back and his head throws against my pillows.
Often I look up and make eye contact with him and he nods and smiles at me to let me know I'm doing alright, often when I moved down I felt his tip hitting the back of my throat which at times would make me gag a little but I just had to move back a little and return to my pace being careful to find my limit. which unfortunately meant I couldn't take all of him in my mouth but I kept my hand at his hilt to ensure that extra inch or two wasn't left out, my name and gentle groans fell from his lips like a waterfall his hips often buck and jolt towards me uncontrollably often with a moan to follow.
Once I got to a decent steady pace I moved my hands to his hips to gently hold him steady to prevent him from moving too much and gaging me by accident, and slowly increasing my speed and my sucking oftentimes ghosting my tongue over his desperate head, which made him moan louder.
I could tell each time we made eye contact he was getting closer, and struggling but still doing his best to conceal the sounds he so desperately wanted to scream, as our eyes met his hand brushed my hair from my face and slid his fingers into my hair looping it around them tightly.
until he clamped a hand over his mouth to muffle his loud moans as his hips bucked hard out of my grip on them making me gag a little my eyes watering from the sudden shock of it, his cock twitched in my mouth and his body quivered as he panted and his cum flooded my mouth with a warm slightly salty taste, as soon as he realised his cock went limp and his whole body relaxed against my sheets,
I moved away and slowly swallowed everything even if it was a strange taste and texture,
"uh…. thank you…" He gasped,
"You're welcome," I blushed, "you don't have to thank me,"
"Ohh I do," he nodded still struggling for breath as he wiped some saliva and cum off my chin and mouth, "Cause that was fucking amazing…"
"I did okay?"
"you did perfectly," he cooed, "trust me I will be Bolting home every night if there is even a chance my lovely wife is going to do that for me,"
"Really?" I blushed,
"Really." He smirked, "I think my lovely wife could get me do just about anything if she's going to be doing that,"
I giggled, "Well I'll be sure to remember,"
"I bet you will," He growled, "Now… I need to take care of my darling don't I?" He smirked grabbing my hips and flipping us over so I laid on my back he stroked my thighs and pushed them as far apart as possible, "Ummm I've wanted to do this for so long… I'm not waiting any longer darling,"
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imjustagirlinthisworlddd Β· 4 months
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Hello:))) been reading ur newt hcs and absolutely adored them YOU WRITE HIM SO SWEET. But i was wondering if you would do newt cuddling hcs with a f!reader please? (I haven’t requested for you before so if this isn't the type of thing you do just delete this lol)
thanks<3
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hello anon!! i'm happy you like those!! i think that newt is the type of person that treats their s/o gentle !! i hope you like this:))))
Newt who can't keep his hands to himself when you're both cuddling. Newt who would pull you into his chest with your back against him so he can kiss your neck. Newt who would put his arm around your waist just to touch you. Newt who would be crazy and rambles whenever he sees you wear his shirts to cuddle or sleep (and when you ask him why, he says "you look hot- i mean beautiful, wait i didn't mean it like your not hot, cause you are hot, i mean- your hot- wait that's not the point- but you look bloody amazing with my shirt"). Newt who can't sleep without you in his arms. Newt who would be very clingy and glued to you when both of you are alone (he's starved for your attention and affection). Newt who doesn't have a 'favourite cuddle position' but he loves it so much when you rest your head on his chest and just lay there. Newt who runs his fingers through your hair and leave a bunch of kisses all over your face whenever he gets the chance. Newt who sometimes wander his hands underneath your shirt (with consent of course) and he just trace circles all over your skin. Newt who sometimes would just lay in your arms tiredly because he’s exhaused from doing all work, helping around the glade, and having many meetings with Alby and the runners(he's a busy man). Newt who would smell a little more earthy when you guys are cuddling before shower. Newt who prefers to cuddle after shower because he thinks you'll like him more if he smells 'sweet like a candy' when you're both cuddling (he used your soap and shampoo because he said it made him "smell like sweets and vanilla" lol ). Newt who would sleep with you with hardly any space between each other. Newt who loves it when you bury your face in his neck and when you play with his hair. Newt who will always pull you back onto the bed and back into his arms if you try to leave or stop cuddling. ("Newt we have to get up! Alby will be mad at us-" "2 more minutes, please love? i'm sure Alby will be fine without me" "Newt, you said that 20 minutes ago."). Newt who doesn't mind being a big spoon or the little spoon when you're both cuddling. Newt who likes it when his arms are securely around your waist & his face in your hair when he's being the big spoon. Newt's arms will be the place you wake up every morning. Newt who would ask if he can play with your hair every time you're both cuddling (he wants to make sure you're giving him consent even tho you've reassured him that he doesn't need to ask that). Newt who would randomly compliment you when your almost asleep ("your so beautiful. like really bloody beautiful, love"). Newt who would sometimes talk in his sleeps because he gets nightmares when he's cuddling you ("please stay, please. don't go. stay with me." "i'm not going anywhere love"). Newt who would easily get sleepy when you run your hands through his hair. Newt who would fall asleep on top of you, then wakes up only to ask if you're okay, if he made you uncomfortable, and why didn’t you wake him up in his raspy sleepy voice.Β Newt who would have a staring contest with you and then make stupid faces so you laugh and he wins the contest (later on he tease you about it). Newt who would stay up with you and just have deep conversations as you both cuddle when you can't sleep ("why do people has to lose the person they love first, to realize they're bloody value and worth? doesn't make sense, what do you think?").
I GOT SO CARRIED AWAY MAKING THIS, IT TURNED OUT SO LONGGGG. I'M SORRY IF THIS IS TOO LONG FOR YOU
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stargirlfics Β· 1 year
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The Gentleman Fic Series Masterlist
an Alfred Pennyworth x Black Dancer!Reader story
Series Summary: Two chance encounters turn into something quite unexpected the longer you spend around a certain Englishman
Series Warnings: 18+ ONLY, set after the events of The Batman film, age gap - reader is mid/late 20’s or 30’s (up to your preference), mentions of stalking/being followed, canon typical violence, death, protective!Alfred, fluff + angst, smut: PiV, oral (both receiving), light bondage later in series, Alfred is a soft dom in this! Light impact play, light choking kink and daddy kink later in series
*reader is written as and described as black in this but anyone is welcome and encouraged to read!
[Series Playlist]
Chapter One - The Gentleman
Chapter Two - Sugar Plum
Chapter Three - After Hours
Chapter Four - Do I Wanna Know?
Chapter Five - Γ‰closion
Chapter Six - Tremble
Chapter Seven - This Heart of Mine β€” coming soon!
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sinfulsalutations Β· 1 year
Text
π•ͺ𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕔𝕦π•₯𝕖 π•π•šπ•₯π•₯𝕝𝕖 π•žπ•¦π•π•₯π•šπ•₯π•’π•€π•œπ•–π•£ ⋆*ο½₯οΎŸπ•”π•π• π•Ÿπ•– π•₯𝕣𝕠𝕠𝕑𝕖𝕣 π•₯𝕖𝕔𝕙
➼ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ β˜† ꜰʟᴜꜰꜰʏ ꜰʟᴜꜰꜰ ꜰʟᴜꜰꜰ, α΄›α΄‡α΄„Κœ ʙᴇΙͺΙ΄Ι’ Κœα΄‡ΚŸΚŸα΄€ α΄€α΄…Κœα΄… (Ιͺᴍ α΄˜Κ€α΄α΄Šα΄‡α΄„α΄›ΙͺΙ΄Ι’ ꜱᴏ Κœα΄€Κ€α΄… κœ°Κ€κœ°Κ€)
⋆ β˜… Ιͺ ɒᴏᴛ α΄α΄€κœ±κœ±Ιͺᴠᴇ α΄›α΄‡α΄„Κœ Κ™Κ€α΄€ΙͺΙ΄ ʀᴏᴛ 24/7 ꜱᴏ ʟΙͺᴋᴇ α΄‘Κœα΄€α΄› α΄‡ΚŸκœ±α΄‡ α΄…Ιͺα΄… ʏ'α΄€ΚŸΚŸ ᴇxα΄˜α΄‡α΄„α΄› κœ°Κ€α΄α΄ ᴍᴇ? ᴍᴀʏ α΄›Κœα΄‡ κœ°α΄α΄œΚ€α΄›Κœ ʙᴇ α΄‘Ιͺα΄›Κœ ʏᴏᴜ!
⋆ β˜… ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴏɴ ᴀᴏ3 ⋆*ο½₯゚ α΄›α΄€Ι’ΚŸΙͺκœ±α΄› κœ°α΄Κ€α΄
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Tech is a hardcore nail-biter.Β 
A fiddler too.
If his other hand isn't preoccupied while one curls around his datapad or the wheel of the ship, it's by his mouth, absentmindedly tearing at his nails and the skin surrounding it.
The habit isn't due to anxiety; perhaps it did come to be from it when he was a young cadet still trying to navigate his role and purpose as a defective clone, but now it is just a simple habit he isn’t able to break.
You fuss about it all the time, the second you see him raise his fingers to his lips you slap them away.
β€œWhat was that for?” He asks softly yet critically.Β 
You click your tongue, flashing him a look of mutual understanding, but he still feigns confusion. You roll your eyes.
β€œYou know damn well it’s bad for you,” you say. β€œYou gotta break this habit."
He turns away, looking down at his datapad again, and responds rather nonchalantly,
β€œWhat else am I supposed to do while I work?”
You pout, shrugging as you lean in closer to his side where you both lie on the couch.
β€œI can get you some sort of toy to fiddle with. One of those little stress balls, magnets…”
β€œHm…” Tech hums, interrupting your train of thought. You gaze up at him in curiosity; his eyes still haven't strayed from his datapad. β€œPerhaps you could be my fiddle toy," he continues.
You're almost completely taken aback; your eyebrows raise and smile bewildered. What does he even mean by that?
β€œWhat?” You say under your breath.
β€œHere,” He says.
Quickly, the hand not holding his datapad wraps around your wrist, gently holding it up. While he’s still completely transfixed on whatever was so fascinating to him on the blue screen, you watch as he maneuvers the two of your hands around until they interlock softly.
"Like this," Tech tells you. His finger grazes offer the soft skin of your knuckles, softly rubbing patterns over it. Your heart swells and you lean into him closer, squirming in your spot ever-so-slightly as you're unable to contain your giddiness; you can't take your eyes off of the view. You really do have the cutest boyfriend.
"Now, is this more suitable?" He then asks you. You giggle into his solid arm and lower your hand to rest on your lap. As his head finally turns to look in your direction, you lean up and leave a soft kiss on his cheek, biting back a grin.
"Definitely."
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tags: @pb-jellybeans
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loserlvrss Β· 3 months
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κ’° π‚πˆππƒπ˜ π‹πŽπ” π–π‡πŽ κ’± μ†μ˜μž¬
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summary : you broke with eric a long time ago, and you thought you were over him until you saw him with another girl
genre : angst, eric x afab!reader, non-idol!au, bestfreind!chanhee, for plot purposes everyone mentioned is around the same ages of 23-25 tws : language, mentions of sex, depressive episode author notes : no happy endings with me β™‘ word count : 2.3k
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β€œchanhee, i didn’t even want to come.”
β€œwell, neither did i, y/n, but kevin said he’d send his attack-snake out on me. and i don’t want to find out what that even means.”
β€œhuh,” you said, shoulders motioning with your voice, β€œkinky.οΏ½οΏ½οΏ½
"of course you'd think that," your best friend of a couple years (but felt like a million, in a good way) started, rolling his sharp eyes, "you haven't fucked in β€”"
"alright!" you stopped him, taking the creese of his elbow, "i get it, i'm lonely. damn, what about you though, king? when was your last relationship? because if i'm remembering correctly, it ended before eri β€”"
"y/n!" running up to the pair of you was the host, a bright and inviting smile plastering his face. although, you weren't sure why you kept walking around like a knife was lodged between your shoulder blades still. "i'm so glad you could make it!" because the moment you saw a familiar stranger, a brunette clinging to his strong arm with a green cocktail between her manicured fingers, your heart suddenly was on the floor.
you don't know why the scene of the liquid covering her perfectly blown-out hair flashed through your head. or why you could imagine the little christmas tree decoration in it scratching the top of her mouth until it stung when she would talk. you could hear her musically-tuned laugh ring through the air at a joke you couldn't imagine was that funny.
"what the hell am i, chopped liver?" chanhee joked, oblivious to what you spaced out on, "you only wanted me to come because you knew i'd bring along my emotional support fish."
it seemed you were always on a one-way street you just couldn't turn off of, because no matter how many potholes you hit, you keep driving; and if your tires popped, you weren't sure the car would stop.
you shouldn't be allowed to be appalled by the sight of your ex having moved on, simply because you broke it off when he wanted to make it work. you dropped his heart when he let you hold it. and when he should've played his cards close to his chest, he let you join his team just to fold. you were making the ship sink, so how could you have the audacity to be mad when he jumped from it while you went down?
he loved you, but at the time you weren't sure what you wanted. sure, you blamed it on being 19, but it was because you were scared to commit to someone so committed to you. you didn't want to be, selfishly, tied down to one person β€” and now that you've purged it from you system, you, selfishly, wanted the same commitment he had given you 5 years ago.
now you stood in the foyer, two different faces from those kids, attached to another man, thinking about if he looked over, would he get the wrong idea? would it make him as jealous as you felt?
you've loved, had loss and even forgot it. but faced with the void you could never fill was more debilitating than you cared to admit. you wanted to be two β€˜i miss you's’ that just needed a push, but evidently only one of you felt that way, as the other was happily coupled up during cuffing season. but then again, you had no right after half a decade to think like that.
you just had to be brave and pretend like it doesn't bother you. you can do that. you can do a lot... right?
chanhee rammed into your side, his desperate attempt to get you back down on earth, instead of inside your never-not-on brain. "did you even hear what kevin just said?" he asked, and you looked to said man, "he said the bands getting back together." your bestfriend made a joke, which did cause you to loosen up and laugh. you thought that as long as he was there, you'd inevitably be okay.
"well not exactly, a couple people couldn't make it β€” which is fine, but most of our old friend group is here." kevin explained, lacing your free arm with his so you were sandwiched between the two of them. "it seems like you and chanhee were the only ones who really hung out like we all used to."
you reminisced the old times for a second. you remembered when your name was connected with eric's, when you hung out like old times with them and him. you remembered the stupid parties kevin's frat would throw freshman year, that eric would drag you to, just for you and him to have a great time. you remembered when you'd have quiet study sessions with jacob and younghoon in the school's library, or juhaknyeon and sunwoo's soccer games. it made you feel a little messy, because after you and him broke up, it's like you broke up with them all. you habitually stopped hanging out, only being dragged by chanhee who was attached to you since first introduction.
you actually owe your level-headedness all to him. he's the person who convinced you that you didn't need to have a run-of-the-mill to finally find something good. he's also unfortunately the reason you remember eric like it was yesterday, even if you don't front like it. you knew you had someone so devoted to you, yet you let him go and now you had the audacity to feel bad about it.
"well, is sunwoo coming?" you asked, which earned a nod from kevin, "and what about younghoon and juyeon?"
"juyeon got a girlfriend!" chanhee exclaimed excitedly, his voice lowering when sangyeon's attention was caught on the three of you, "like last month."
the oldest of your friend's face lit up, "y/n!" he said, making you force a smile though you were cringing; because just a couple feet away was the love of your adolescence, with the presumable love of his.
standing next to him was hyunjae, "how've you been, oh my gosh, it's been like years hasn't it?" you voiced, bringing him in for a hug, which he reciprocated before you moved to sangyeon to repeat the process. it had been years since you've last spoken to them other than a happy birthday or congratulations once in a blue moon β€” you honestly wouldn't be surprised if their numbers had changed and you'd been texting a random person.
"good, good," hyunjae replied, sipping a bright red cocktail, "i actually just finished my business degree, thinking of either opening my own or investing in some else's."
"and I just got engaged, though she wasn't able to make it here tonight β€” ceo stuff β€” she's getting ready to go international after fully getting elected as the heir."
you couldn't help but compare, sure you had your teaching license, but it wasn't as impressive as either one of them.
they were making it hard to believe that the world was spinning too fast, and that you weren't stuck watching the same film over and over again.
chanhee began talking in your place, forcing you down into the barstool between them all. kevin went over to younghoon and juyeon who had just made their way through the door: a synthetic blonde attached juyeon's arm.
"what's her name?" you blurted, the three boys looking down at you, "she's pretty."
hyunjae was nonchalant, pretending he didn't know exactly what you actually meant. however, sangyeon replied awkwardly, "w-who? kim minyeon? or jang nari?"
"juyeon's girlfriend, n-not eric's."
"o-oh! that's minyeon."
nari. the feminine name meaning lily; new beginnings and rebirth. just fucking perfect, wasn't it? pretty, perfect and delicate, just like the flower.
you sighed and excused yourself, disguising it as having to use the bathroom. in honesty, you weren't sure how much more torcher you could take, and it's barely been twenty minutes. you thought you'd be fine, as long as chanhee stayed by your side, but the longer you watched the pair through your peripherals, the more you just ached.
you cared more than you'd like to have admitted. and the worst part is you had no one to blame β€” to be mad at β€” because everyone had rightfully assumed you both were over it.
like you were supposed to be.
it was pathetic, the way you stared yourself down in the mirror. you found yourself resembling someone you've never met, or maybe someone you had just forgotten in all the growing pains. nevertheless, you found yourself disgusted by the fact that you were disgracing your mother's eyes, father's nose, and sister's cheekbones with the self-pity. there was nothing more selfish than crashing someone else's party with one of your own.
so you choked the tears back, the lump in your throat making it hard to breathe. you took a powder from the purse slung over your shoulder and fixed your creasing makeup. you reapplied a red lipstick, fixing your hair and outfit. you thought that if you couldn't have him, maybe you could make it wish he had you instead β€” god, you were letting the delusions look too good under the fluorescent light.
however, you stooped lower than throwing a pity party. you exited the bathroom with part of your dignity still intact, but the moment you sat against the plush-cushioned bench against the wall your phone was illuminated with pictures of the pretty brunette.
you couldn't get yourself to stop once you typed her name out. it's like you were boarding the gossip train all the way back in high school.
you scrolled like you were obsessed, brain blanking out everything around you. you saw her go through a cherry red hair phase sometime in 2022. you found out that her and eric had taken a vacation to hawaii back in 2021, multiple bikini pictures and perfectly sculpted bodies clinging together like models being the tell. you scrolled farther back, dead-set on finding the first picture she ever posted of him… that must've been close to when they met.
why do you even care? you know he was too caught up following you around like a puppy to even believe that he would entertain someone other than you. so, why were you obsessed? maybe you needed a reason to be mad at him. maybe you needed an excuse to shift the blame.
maybe it's everything you needed that he could live without β€”
"i didn't meet her that far back, y/n. we were still dating then."
your eyes shut, finger hitting the power button. you took a moment, hoping that it was just your cruel subconscious playing tricks with reality. "didn't think you'd cared that much," he took a seat on the complete opposite end of the bench, "it's been five years... and honestly i didn't think you cared back then either."
you were too embarrassed to say anything. and frankly, you didn't know what to reply with. i'm sorry? i did care about you, but just not enough? nothing seemed to suffice.
"i met nari at work. she treats me β€”"
your vision was blurring over, but you couldn't find the courage to get up and walk away. you were just so damn pathetic, weren't you? you just thought that everything in this world belonged to you, peaking your freshman year of college in comparison to the people who still innocently call you a friend.
"better?"
"different, y/n. she's different than you."
you sighed, "that doesn't make it bet β€” i mean, it doesn't matter, eric. i'm sorry, i was just curious after not seeing you for so long." your eyes opened, but the scene was blurred over, almost like it was torrentially pouring while driving late at night. there were questions flashing behind your eyelids every time you tried to blink the tears away. you thought that you couldn't stoop lower, but for the past couple minutes you've done nothing but prove it wrong. "i'm so-sorry, i'm just gonna go."
you got to your feet, but his voice made you stop dead in your tracks.
"w-why does it bother you so much?"
you honestly felt like your heart was re-shattering, joining the dust on the floor at your feet. you thought the question would join the heaps of pathetic things you've said and done tonight.
you turned around, phone clenched between your fist. eric was still sat, dark hair styled so nicely you almost thought that it wasn't him β€” but her β€” outfit a matching shade to the dress you saw hugging her figure gracefully.
"do you honestly think i didn't care about you?" you asked, to which he raised his head at an alarming pace, "it's true, i know i fucked it up, eric, okay? i know what i did to you and i'm sorry. i-i'm sorry i waited so long to tell you that." clearing the air didn't feel like closure at all. the tears in his eyes didn't feel like hatred at all. and maybe he didn't mean it. maybe he only told himself that because you did break his heart so bad, still holding pieces he's afraid he'll never get back. "you can think whatever you want, hate me even, but please don't think for a second i didn't love you back then. i was naive and made a mistake, but it's too late to take it back. believe me, i've thought about it. but i always fucking cared about you, okay?"
you found it oddly satisfying, though knowing in the back of your head that he would curse you for saying these things while he's happily coupled up, you didn't regret it.
"i'll forever be sorry, so don't hold it over my head."
"i believed you didn't care about me... back when we were nineteen." he replied after a long pause, "but i haven't believe that for a long time. y/n, i've forgiven you."
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reblogs, likes and comments are greatly appreciated! thank u!
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enihk-writes Β· 3 months
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[at the end of a burnt wick]
pairing: tang bo x afab!she/her!reader
NOT exactly an x reader because i didn't want tang bo and reader's relationship to be romantic, tried to make them platonic / co-workers like ah-duo and the emperor from the apothecary diaries + implied tangchung because all roads lead to old men yaoi
summary: anthology of a married pair
content warning: archaic wedding practices mentioned (i.e. having to consummate a marriage against the will of both parties) // stillbirth and child loss (disconnect with traditional expectations of parenthood)
word count: 6.66k
author's note: my roman empire lately is about how i used to audition to nijisanji and only niji at least 3-4 times (didn't even pass the first stage lol) before i got really fixated with rotbb.... maybe one day i will try my hand at vtubing and streaming again... for now it's fanfiction time ragggghhh!!!!! fictional men 4ever!!!!
[PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION! I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY TRIGGERS CAUSED BEYOND THIS LINE]
═══════════════
FIRST MEETING
the first time the young tang bo met her, was when he was a little over fifteen.
she was also just as young as he β€” a wee lass that had yet to lose the childlike roundness of her cheeks, round eyes that seemed to sparkle in wonderment at all the grandeur around her. tang bo didn't understand what was so special about the surroundings, he'd grown up here all his life and had already seen most of anything money could buy. this girl was weird.
he didn't find out until much later that this was the first time she had ever left the four walls of her room, much less her own home.
he thinks that it was no wonder she had looked so amazed with everything she saw back then. he can't imagine a life where he had to live constrained to one place, going through the same routine everyday would have bored him to death.
he wasn't looking forward to future conversations with that girl β€” he was certain she would be utterly dull and boring.
═══════════════
ENGAGEMENT
tang bo was furious that the elders had went and signed off the engagement contract without even asking for his approval. he had been meeting with countless hopefuls for a few years by now, and he'd been able to fend them all off by acting in ways that had all these well-bred ladies huffing and puffing in indignation. crying to their fathers that they would rather die than marry a man like he.
so who was it that agreed to this!
tang bo mutters under his breath, teeth gritted, fists clenched. he had to see with his own two eyes the woman who was stupid or desperate enough to let herself be wed to the likes of him.
elder!
the young man throws open the doors to the main hall, not caring one bit about the guests sitting inside. the elders and the patriarch in question frowned at his behaviour, biting their tongues from chastising him in front of strangers.
his gaze lands on a familiar face, a little older and a lot less naive, but familiar nonetheless. he didn't know that a person's demeanour could change so drastically in a few years.
tang bo's hands fall to his sides, he shuffles towards the end of the table, plopping down on the empty spot across his soon-to-be betrothed. he eyes her figure, chewing on the inside of his mouth, trying to come up with something to insult her with.
tang boβ€”
the patriarch didn't even get the chance to finish his sentence when the young man scoffs at the girl's face, the corner of his mouth pulling up into a sneer.
really? her?
tang bo glances over at the heads of his family, finger pointing rudely in the girl's face. they all sigh, knowing what was about to come from the impudent boy. they could only hope this girl wouldn't take his jabs to heart.
hey you.
he juts his chin at her.
all my other candidates looked prettier than you. hey, did you even bother to put in any effort when coming to meet me?
she ignored him, sipping on her tea serenely. the girl's guardians shift in their seats nervously. ah, this young master has yet to face their mistress' infamous anger.
tang bo clicks his tongue.
oi, did you even β€” hey!
he didn't expect her to splash the remainder of her drink onto him. the warm liquid splatters across his face and drips down his now damp hair, even the front of his robes were now soiled from the tea.
he looks over to the elders of his family in surprise, hoping that they'd stand up for him but none met his eye. he felt betrayed when he catches some of them trying to hide the twitch of their mouths suppressing their laughs.
they all thought that it was about time someone put this boy in his place, talented and intelligent as he may be.
needless to say, the rest of the meeting went on smoothly. and it ended with the confirmation of the two's engagement. much to tang bo's despair and the girl's indifference.
═══════════════
FIRST 'DATE'
he really tried his best to drag his feet that day. the elders had arranged for an evening dinner in the newly established inn downtown with his bride-to-be and tang bo really did not want to go. he was kicking up a fuss with his clothes, this one was too dull, that one is too bright, it's too rough, it's too short... and so on. but when he finally ran out of excuses and the attendants tiredly managed to dress him appropriately β€” the sun was beginning to set.
tang bo perks up. perhaps he didn't have to go out with her after all!
he steps out of his room, surprised to see that there was no one in the courtyard. he shouldn't have felt a jolt of worry then, but he did, and he wondered if something was wrong.
where is she?
he asks to no one in particular, heading to her room three doors down from his, footfalls heavy on the lacquered wooden planks of the corridor. he hears panicked voices muffled behind the doors and throws the doors to her room open.
she sat in the middle of the room in nothing but her undergarments, surrounded by the tang estate's maids and piles of unworn clothes. she had her back facing him, and all he could see were the maids hurriedly hiding away the containers of makeup all shying away from his scrutinising gaze.
out.
the maids didn't have to be told twice. they all scurried out of her room like mice, tails between their legs and faces pursed in anxiety at being caught in the middle of something they probably shouldn't be doing. tang bo sighed heavily. to think the woman he was to marry was getting bullied, by mere maids too? he felt ashamed on her behalf. he didn't like people who were fine with others taking advantage and stepping all over them. he hated that they didn't have a backbone to stand up for themselves.
kicking off his shoes, he entered her room β€” nose scrunched up instinctively at the suffocating dust in the air. he looked around to see all the windows shut tightly, there were no gaps for even a sliver of light to shine inside.
how has this girl been living so far, for her to be fine with this treatment?
tang bo coughed, stumbling over to open the windows, lightheaded from the lack of breathable air. he waves his hands to chase the dust outside, coughing even harder when the little particles get all up in his face.
he hears her giggle. much to his growing annoyance, what was so funny anyway.
he sits in front of her, letting the pile of unworn clothes cushion him from the hard floor. under the orange glow of the setting sun, he sees her for the first time today, all dolled up in the most garish makeup that would have certainly humiliated her, and had he not barged in she would have had to go around in public like that.
you look uglier today.
she chuckled and hummed in response, she looks around in search of something. grabbing a rag from under the clothes, she proceeded to wipe off her painted face, only to have tang bo take it out of her hands with a soft, let me.
he holds her chin between his fingers, rubbing off the white powder that contrasted starkly against her skin, making her look sickly. he rubs off the crudely drawn-out eyebrows and the thick rouge that sat on her lips. he can't help but notice the way her lashes fluttered as she tried to keep her eyes closed. maybe his fiancee was a little cute.
with her face now bare, the girl lets out the breath she had been holding. but tang bo wasn't done yet.
where are you facing. turn back here.
he ordered pointedly, and she couldn't help but to go back into her prior position. lips and eyes squeezed shut, much like a puppy getting told off for misbehaving.
picking up a brush out of the many lying haphazardly over the vanity, tang bo dipped it's tip into the little porcelain jar left ajar. it was lipstick in a shade deep red, the type that would have looked lovely especially on her.
he holds the girl's now bare face in one hand, the brush in the other, outlining the shape of her lips with the new rouge. the feathery touch of the brush tip was ticklish, moreso with how tang bo had been holding it in an uncharacteristically gentle way as though he were a potter painting intricate patterns on a cup before he sent it off to the burning fires in a kiln.
he pinched the brush, smudging the tint against his fingers and drawing faint circles at the outer corner of her eyes.
tang bo leans back to admire his handiwork. he couldn't help but feel proud of the results. not only was he good at martial arts and medicine, he had an amazing eye for aesthetics too? where would anyone find a better husband then he?
the girl opens her eyes cautiously, her gaze meeting his. he looked pleased, boastful even.
hmph. you look more presentable now.
he hands her a mirror, and as she looks at her reflection against the shiny bronze surface, she had to agree. her fiance had done a good job with her face. maybe he wasn't all that awful.
thank you, young master tang.
the girl smiled, her eyes crinkling upwards in a smile. tang bo scoffs and looks out the window, hiding his embarrassment at her sincere words. thinking back now, this was the first he'd heard her speak, wasn't it? maybe he should pay more attention once in a while.
heh. of course you should be thanking me.
the sky and grown dark. lucky him, he didn't have to go out to that dinner with her after all.
═══════════════
THE FIRST REAL DATE
tang bo felt a little irked that she had been walking behind him even when he had slowed down to match her pace. it's almost like she had been deliberately hanging back.
you.
he grabs her wrist and pulls her towards him. she stumbled over her feet and falls over with a startled squeak.
you're my fiancee. so stand proud and walk beside me.
he declares with a hand on his hip, the grip on her wrist with his other not once loosening. he walks again, just as slow as he had been earlier, feeling a little happy that the girl no longer lagged behind.
he'd started to warm up to her, no longer seeing her as the stranger living in his house, one day to become his wife. she was more akin to a little sister he'd have to babysit.
no, actually she was more like an apprehensive kitten left on his doorstep that he'd grown to like taking care of.
buying her sweets and spoiling her with accessories she might not even have a chance to wear just because he thought she'd look cute in them has been one of his favourite hobbies these days.
why was he so anxious about getting engaged before? ever since she became his fiancee, he didn't have to go out and meet with any more annoying noble ladies clamouring over each other trying to win over his affection. the best part was that she kept to herself, and minded her own business unless it was time to visit the elders and the patriarch for afternoon tea β€” which he didn't mind since having her as his own personal walking event reminder has really saved him from getting scolded even more by the old farts.
ah! look! they're selling meat skewers over there! come on, let's go get some! i'm sure you'd like those too.
tang bo giggles and drags the girl over to another street vendor. ah, lucky him. he's hit the jackpot with the whole engagement game β€” a tolerable and cute wife-to-be, could a boy ask for anything more? guanyin-ma really was looking over him after all.
═══════════════
FORTUNE TELLER
after two seasons of living under the same roof, the heads of the tang clan decide that it was time for the two to meet with the fortune teller. set up an auspicious date through the tung shing, and be wed on the right phase of the moon and the best placement of the stars in the sky.
the young master is lucky to have found someone this compatible. it is hard for children born in his year to find a suitable partner. they say snakes rarely get along with the other zodiacs.
says the old eccentric woman who proclaimed herself to be the best fortune teller in sichuan and the one who had been checking the birthdates of all the potential brides that had been introduced to tang bo thus far. the boy felt the urge to get up and fight that hack, respecting his elders be damned, so she was the one sending him all those insufferable girls his way.
he feels a hand grab at his arm. fingers digging into his flesh enough to keep him seated. he looks over at the girl sitting next to him, expression unchanging, her body angled to lean a little closer to his.
his hand reached over discreetly to peel her fingers off him, bringing her hand down to hold his under the table, fingers intertwined. she seemed to relax a little, tense shoulders falling ever gently, her jaw growing slightly more slack.
to the untrained eye, the girl's expressions were the same. but to him, he's watched her long enough, even if it wasn't every day, to spot the subtle changes whenever she expressed herself. tang bo pats himself on the back for being such an attentive fiance.
his attention shifted from the conversation between the fortune teller and the elders to the girl's hand. they were soft and smooth, as expected of a lady of noble birth. his on the other hand were calloused from training, the tips of his fingers were starting to turn darker from the constant exposure to poisons. shit, he might have to start wearing gloves.
the girl hadn't been paying attention to the conversation going on either, spacing out until the elders called on the two. stifling their startled gasp, the two youngins stared at their elders, a confused expression painted on their faces, not one bit guilty for ignoring everything that was being said.
ah, it's good they are getting along well.
the fortune teller chuckled with a knowing glint in her eye trying to suggest something, but both tang bo and the girl didn't seem to catch her drift, the old woman's point flying over their heads.
the elders soon turn back to their discussion, talking about the best days that would suit the two.
look here, since they are both born as snakes, their auspicious numbers are two, eight and nine. i'd suggest we hold the wedding...
tang bo nudges at the girl.
hey.
she looks up at him. he leaned down next to her ear, wanting to ask her about her birthday, too embarrassed to ask about it outright in front of the elders. he didn't want to seem like an incompetent fiance to his future bride.
she hides a growing grin. it was nice of him to start paying attention to her. little steps, little steps. she wriggles her hand out of his grasp and writes down the date with her finger on the surface of his palm.
good thing their hands were under the table, or people would know about the cause of the redness dusting the back of his ears.
the meeting dragged on until late in the evening. it ended with the agreement that they were to be wed on the eighth day of the eighth month on the eighth year of the emperor's reign.
truly the most auspicious day for a union.
═══════════════
A BRIDE-TO-BE'S DRESSING ROOM
the long-awaited day came by later than expected. the previous emperor passed before he even got close to the eighth year of his reign. not wanting to change the numbers of the date, the elders decided to push the event back until the current emperor had reached his eighth year.
by then, the two had grown into a man and a woman, a lot older than the common age to be wed. but it was no matter. who would dare speak up against the tang clan's young master and his wife-to-be?
the day, hell, even the night before had been hectic. tang bo slipped past his attendants to take a peak at what was going on in her room. traditions be damned, who cares about the groom not seeing his bride until they were at the altar? that was so outdated!
what are you doing here?
she had been left alone to rest from the non-stop preparations since before dawn. tang bo walks in, careful not to make too much noise as he slides the door shut behind him.
why? can't i visit my wife?
i am not your wife.
yet~
his teasing voice moved behind her. he picked up the brush to comb out the knots that were all tangled up β€” the maids had put on extensions to lengthen her hair. she hadn't been able to grow them to the expected length, much to the annoyance of the maids. they hadn't been nice when attaching the accessories, she could still feel the burning sensation on her scalp.
there was no need to kick up a fuss at this point. especially in front of tang bo. this guy would have kicked out all the attendants who had been treating her poorly, but that felt like too easy of a punishment. she wanted to deal with them herself when the time comes, sorry for that, young master tang.
the leather gloves he wore were cold, and the feeling of his fingertips scratching against her scalp was soothing, enough to draw out a quiet purr from the woman. much to her shocked embarassment.
oh?
she leans away from him.
...please ignore that.
but how could he?
my wife... how can you be so cute~!
i need you to shut up right now.
═══════════════
WORLD'S MOST BORING CEREMONY
if it was any consolation, the two had agreed that this whole affair was a pain in their ass.
wife, do you know when this will end?
what makes you think i have the answer to that?
tang bo thinks his bride was lucky to have that red veil over her face. if she wanted to shut her eyes and sleep, none of the guests nor elders would be any wiser. poor old him. they should have made a veil for the goom too, which smartass decided otherwise anyway? if he ever met that person, tang bo promised he would pummel the other to the ground.
wife.
she hums in acknowledgement, bowing her head at a guest who had come up to the front to pay their blessings to the pair.
wife.
tang bo called out again, his tone getting a little impatient. wincing when he felt her pinch the skin between his thumb and index finger. he tried to smile at the strangers passing them by, feeling drained and completely spent from the day's activities. it didn't help that the noisy chatter of everyone around them was making him feel worse.
wife, you should tell the elders that you're tired and want to rest for the night... i'm sure they'd listen to you.
why me? you go!
huh? me? nuh-uh, you go!
the back and forth lasted for a bit until they both agreed to ask the elders together. after all, having a partner-in-crime to take the fall together with you was way better than facing backlash alone.
perhaps the atmosphere of a wedding had put the elders in a carefree mood, perhaps it was the result of a dozen empty wine bottles. they think it might be both, but no matter, they received permission to get out of there.
the best news either had ever heard today.
scurring away quickly, the newlyweds giggle amongst each other like kids up to no good even as they were well into their twenties. the guests and elders cooed in amusement, talking about how nice it must be to be young and in love.
though that second part was so far from the truth, when the two talk about it again in their later years, it had grown into a funny story they liked to reminisce about over a midnight drink.
═══════════════
THE FIRST NIGHT
tang bo glanced over at his wife, carrying the same grimace as she did. it was hard not to cringe at the overtly crude decorations in their now shared room.
right. that was how it was in these parts. they were now husband and wife so the elders are probably expecting the results of the two carrying out their marital duties within the next year.
i don't want to do that...
me neither...
now sitting across each other on the floor, they discuss how to trick the maids who would certainly check the bedding the next morning. if nothing happened tonight then they would be under more scrutiny. but who's to say that there won't be any surveillance after? ugh! this was all so annoying!
tang bo watched as the woman before him let out a big sigh, dropping her head into her hands. he felt sorry for his wife, it must be hard living as the new daughter-in-law of his family.
should we get this done and over with?
he suggested finally, after exhausting all their options. his wife makes a face at that, but she can't argue.
awkwardly he hands over a vial, an all-purpose antidote of sorts, in case she gets accidentally poisoned while coming into contact with him. the head had passed it to him sometime during the ceremony earlier, tang bo had been hoping he didn't have to use it, at least he held himself back from throwing the whole vial at the wall when it was given.
he didn't say it at first, but he could hear the eyes and ears surrounding them grow careless every few moments, revealing their presence by accident with an unintentional movement or sound. how uncouth of them to be watching the two newlyweds like this. it seemed she'd also noticed their presence, with how she'd glance out the windows whenever a small rustle was heard.
i'm so sorry.
he murmured an apology as he kissed her cheek β€” he didn't have to look to know she had a faint look of disdain, directed to no one in particular yet still stung through his heart.
it's not your fault.
so she says. but it might as well be. to him at least.
the consummation wasn't a pleasant process. neither could look at the other in the eye. the knowledge that people were standing outside the room to listen in on the completion of their marriage made this whole ordeal so much worse.
wife...i...
tang bo feels his hips stutter, his face burns in shame as his hoarse voice tries to speak.
her hands reach out to brush his hair out of his face, fingertips lightly smooth out the crease of his furrowed brows. she'd resigned herself long ago, knowing this whole process was inevitable from the time she reached adolescence. to think her own husband did not...
she felt a slight twinge of pity. the young master tang was a lot more sheltered than she had thought.
when it was all over, they scrambled to get away from the other, each sitting at the furthest end of the bed β€” letting what had conspired sink in. how many more times would this have to happen in the future?
she was the first to collect herself. getting up, she shuffles over to tang bo, her hand reaching out for his.
my husband, we should go and clean up.
he nodded, taking her hand in his wordlessly as she led him to the tub hidden behind the partition. after dipping the dry towels in the now warm water to wipe their bodies clean, slipping into clean nightgowns and peeling off the soiled bedspreads to throw them aside, they finally crawl under the covers, yawning tiredly.
sleep came over easily, surprisingly enough.
═══════════════
DIAGNOSIS
the questions that hung around in the air at this time of the year were all about babies, children, the next generation. everyone wanted to know which of the wedded members would be expecting soon.
most eyes were turned on tang bo and his wife.
unfortunately.
their marriage had happened over five years ago, almost ten, and all this time their other relatives who had gotten married later than they were popping out one offspring after another β€” yet none were to be seen for the young lord and his lady. the elders often lamented on the silence of their side of the estate.
rumour has it that their relationship was on the rocks, with how neither shared a room nor did they spend a night together like all the tang spouses β€” save for the occasional times they'd go to visit the other's quarters every two to three months. to scratch an itch as one might say. after all, they were still young and quite healthy, so such urges were still common occurrences. might as well do it with someone familiar rather than do that with a stranger.
the relationship between tang bo and his wife was actually far more amicable than anyone could have guessed. it was hard to describe the solace they'd found in each other's unspoken commanderie within the household. they'd been living together long enough to know virtually everything about each other, yet there was always a line drawn between them to keep the distance.
today, she wasn't here for any of their usual arrangements. tang bo had came back to find his wife nursing a cup of tea in one hand, resting it on top of a propped-up leg. she had set out a game of weiqi on the table, next to a steaming teapot and array of snacks.
looks like someone's got news.
his teasing voice called out to the woman, settling down on the seat across her. he hums in thought, contemplating his move as she places down her white bead on the board.
your uncle came over to see why we weren't having kids yesterday. he's given me the results this morning, right after you left.
the woman holds out the folded paper, a little crumpled from being kept between the layers of her robes. tang bo takes it, opening it to read what his so-called uncle had diagnosed his wife with. talk about elder butting into a youngster's business for no good reason.
this...
he says that i'm barren.
she looks down with a small smile,and it looked a little bitter. of course, how could she not be? after all that had happened those few years back?
to say that she's unable to carry a child after all she had gone through back then was such a cruel prank from the heavens. he knows his wife wanted to be a mother more than anything, to give that little baby all her love in the world or along those sentiments β€” as did he. so if that's not going to happen... then, what now?
they were silent as they moved their beads across the game board. contemplating their next moves and what to say to the other.
there's crab stick snacks here, you should try some.
as always, she breaks the silence first. grabbing a few sticks of the salty treat to nibble on before handing the container over to her husband. tang bo reached for the food mindlessly, thinking about how nice it'd be to have these with some sweet wine.
ah, but his wife wasn't much of a drinker so that's a bummer.
═══════════════
ONLY CHILD
he should have heard the cries of the baby.
it was quiet inside, and out where he was waiting too. the nurses and maids walked out of the room with buckets of soiled, bloody rags with their heads down and mouths drawn into a thin line β€” something was wrong, something had gone terribly wrong.
tang bo felt his feet move, walking towards the bedroom where the doors were still shut tightly. he weaved past the attendants trying to hold him back, all telling their young master to go back and wait.
wait? why did he have to wait when he didn't know what was happening to his wife right then? she needed him. and she needed him right now.
the midwife slides the door open just as he was about to open it himself. they both take a step back in surprise.
young master... the lady is alive and well. she is waiting inside.
the older woman bowed and scurried away from the scene to join the others in the courtyard outside.
his wife lay on her back on top of fresh bedsheets and a clean nightgown. she had a sickly pallor, lips were chapped dry with red marks of blood from where the skin ripped open. hair that was riddled with sweat stuck onto the sides of her face, the untied tresses splayed over the top of the bed. her eyes were unfocused and blank, staring straight up at the wall, mind elsewhere. her cheeks were still stained with the remnants of her tears, the evidence of what transpired within these four walls.
wife...
tang bo called out cautiously. she didn't respond, barely even moved an inch to acknowledge his presence.
next to her on the bed was a small swaddle, the stillness of what was supposed to be alive unnerved him. the child's dull skin, probably in some shade of grey, eyes that were never to open, oh.
he sits by her bedside, back facing her. he too, did not know what to say to her at that moment. he was the last person that could have possibly comforted her. well, it was his child too but they were both not lovers so this was an offspring born out of necessity rather than a genuine want. and at this point in his life, tang bo wasn't actually too thrilled about the prospect of fatherhood. not that he would resent that kid, it's just he might not have loved them like he should.
his wife, she's mentioned her anticipation of motherhood but once in a while, he'd catch glimpses of the unreadable expression she had when no one was looking β€” all while she rubs her growing belly. it made him think that perhaps she wasn't always telling the truth.
once there was a patient who had came to the tang estate to treat the growing tumors in his intestines and since he was a rather important guest, most of the members of the main family, the two of them included, had dropped by to greet him and wish him well for recovery. tang bo could never forget the intensity of her absent gaze at the patient's stomach, her balled fist tightening over her shawl ever so slightly.
perhaps it's good that she's dead.
tang bo feels his eyebrows rise up in shock.
you're not too keen on fathering a child either, are you?
he shakes his head.
well, that makes the two of us. the heavens must be looking out for her, keeping her away from parents like us who can't give her the love she needs.
his wife sighed deeply. her tired face falling to the side to look at him, a lopsided smile making its way onto her lips as if to ease the heavy tension of her words away. she might be right. perhaps, it was better this way. tang bo closes her eyes with his palm, patting her to sleep the way one would with a feverish child.
their daughter would later be the two's first and only child.
═══════════════
SWORDSMAN
the woman wondered how one-sided her husband's relationship with his friend was. the man was a rather expressionless fellow β€” his sentences were short, curt and straight to the point. her husband didn't seem to mind, with now he was almost always all over that man. ah well, she's just happy tang bo has an actual friend.
rather than worry that he was drunk off his rocker out on the streets past midnight doing who-knows-what in who-knows-where, at least now he's causing trouble with someone she could easily track. apperently, the man was a troublemaker in his own home too.
the first time she met the older sect brother of her husband's friend, they shared a look of silent understanding. ah, so you too have an oversized child to deal with.
watching tang bo come home staggering on his feet together with the man, leaning on the other for support used to riddle her with worry but now she just ushers them both into a spare room prepped with the necessary herbs to concoct a hangover remedy and hope for the best. her husband was a capable man, he would never let himself falter and die in a ditch.
in hindsight, she might have been too confident in his abilities.
the swordsman was the best thing to have happened to her husband. and it was not an exaggeration by any means. not when he looked at his happiest for the first time since she'd known him. even if they were both past their fifties and sixties.
how nice. she thinks to herself whenever she spots them together. to find your other half, your kindred spirit in this word before you died... it must be nice.
she can't find it in her to be bitter. really.
═══════════════
FIRST CHIPPING
if he were to look at what society deemed as a bastard husband, then that requisite would have had his face plastered as a prime example. the type of husband that any aspiring groom should not ever become.
though for those who were in the know, mainly his wife and himself, there was more to their marriage than what everyone saw. it didn't take long for either of them to recognise that this union had been a discreet way for them to hide away from what kids like them were supposed to act like in this rigid society.
they've stuck by each other as the only people who would have understood each other the best. so now that tang bo was finally finding the happiness he should have sought after all this time, he was always feeling the guilt of leaving her behind on her own in that house that had always been too big for just the two of them.
she has yet to utter a word of displeasure to him. that's how she was β€” the quiet one who kept to herself, letting things happen until the worst had passed over. it was one of the little things he detested about his wife.
he can't bring himself to really hate her. there was a time when he had opened up his heart and confided in her about some things he's been scared to come to terms with. the type of realisation one has from a very early age and has buried deep within themselves to fit into society and the expectations people had of him.
his wife had held onto his hand wordlessly, squeezing it ever so often to assure his nerves. he's never been this vulnerable before. he never thought things like this could be so frightening.
she had something to say too. but not right now. this was his moment, she's not so tactless to take it away. she can't stop thinking that if they'd been more honest earlier, then perhaps they wouldn't have hurt the other unknowingly all these years.
the walls they'd built between them were starting to come down a little β€” who would have thought they'd find out something new after decades of marriage.
═══════════════
COMING TO TERMS
she couldn't really understand why her husband was loudly crying into her shoulder. her good robes were getting wet from his tears and snot. how did this almost seventy-year-old man have no shred of shame β€” in front of the attendants no less?
she had given him her blessings earlier today, and he was now free to pursue the swordsman so why was he not going off to sweep his beloved off his feet and ride off into the sunset or whatever those romance novels say?
wife, you know you aren't obligated to be bound to me any more right? if you wish, you are also free to love someone else...
tang bo managed to say between sobs.
...thank you for your consideration.
she hesitated. what did he mean by her being free to love someone else? she can't think of a time when she'd ever felt that kind of emotion, at least not the one that every person around her was chasing after, even back when she was in her youth.
there was always a disconnect whenever the other wives she'd corresponded with ranted and raved about their husband's infidelities or little annoyances. they were always on the verge of hysteria, driven to that point out of love for their husbands they said. and she'd think about how foolish it was.
thank goodness her relationship with tang bo had not been built on a foundation that flimsy. rather, it was one based on mutual respect. which was far betterβ€”
ah but. he must have felt trapped in this marriage. not everyone in the world was like her. not everyone had been born with the inability to be like everyone else and it was unfair how they all just instinctively know what romance and lovers-love is. so to have held him back in this loveless situation for this long was a cruel thing.
the good wife, the understanding wife, the kindhearted wife. it's all that she's been the majority of her life. she doesn't know what else there was to her now that she's let-go of these titles. she's free to do what she wants. but what does a caged bird set free know?
she had packed lightly, the clothes on her back were lighter and less showy, the stark opposite of what she used to wear as the daughter-in-law of the tang family. there was not much hesitation as she donned the weimao β€” it's white veil falling past her knees. she looked at the darkened courtyard of their estate.
she's received enough goodwill in this lifetime. she prayed at the ancestral shrine one last time, asking them to look after everyone now that she's going off.
═══════════════
MORNING AFTER
tang bo awoke to the frantic bustle of the maids outside his room. turns out his wife had gone missing overnight without anyone noticing. he walked out of his room, wandering around the family estate until he reached the main halls where it was quieter. no one was allowed in here outside of events except for the elders and the main family.
he picks up the tattered note that had fluttered to his feet β€” eyes widening as he takes in the words written on it.
tch, that woman could still pull some tricks at her old age huh. he didn't think she'd still know how to surprise him. the paper was burned away on a candle flame. he wonders if he'd see his wandering wife on his travels with his taoist-hyung. would they all share a drink at the teahouse when they do? oh he hoped so. there's not much things to look forward to at this age, so at least give him some stories and a meal.
ah. he should let his taoist-hyung know about this too. before it slipped out of that old head of his.
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islayhawkin Β· 4 months
Text
Rescue
Jack dawkins x f!reader
Summery: jack is accused of thieving and you take the blame for him instead.
Request: Hello could I request a Jack Dawkins x reader? Where maybe reader knows he’s a thief and is fine with it and when he maybe gets caught for something she takes the blame for it? And fagin and Jack have to scramble to save her
A/N: honestly had problems coming up with this whole plot so idk how to feel about it but hope it is somewhat what you had in mind
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Jack wasn't particularly proud about his past and he tried to start a new life but it seems he couldn't escape it and it came back to haunt him. In the form of Fagin.
He had built a reputation around Port Victory town as a surgeon. And he met you. You were a great enrichment in his life as you brought your sweetness to his side. You were always there for him and he was for you. It was a unspoken promise.
Contrary to what he'd known since his childhood there was a good intention and softness behind everything you did. He relished the evenings with you in his room. Sometimes you came to watch his surgeries but you had to work hard to survive in the pottery factory too.
So naturally you understood that jack was a pickpocket back in the days. He was reluctant to tell you though- a part of him he wanted to leave desperately behind. You were okay with it. You reassured him that you understood that he needed to.
But something changed when Fagin came back into jacks life. You noticed immediately. He tried to hide things from you. He said you couldn't meet in his room anymore since he seemed to try and hold Fagin as far away from you as possible.
He wanted to keep you out of his mess and Fagin only did bring a mess everywhere he went. Jack was afraid you'd get caught up in it somehow. And as long as you wouln't get to see Fagin you wouldn't know what was going on. Or so he thought.
Of course you found out. At first you were angry with him. Especially for trying to hide it from you. But after you talked about it you let it be. You didn't like it. But it was okay.
Until that day were he got caught.
It was a quiet evening at the pub. Jack had his neckerchief loosely slung around his neck and a few drinks already drowned. Fagin sat across from him. A few high society families were seated near them. A girl came over to jack and sat in his lap with a smile. He shook his head politely and gestured for her to remove herself from him.
You saw them sitting at the table and joined them as you sat down in jacks lap yourself. Giving him a kiss on his temple in greeting. He hummed contently and pulled you close to him by the hip. "You had drinks already?" You questioned quietly.
"Yeah. Sorry. You want the rest?" He held the glass up for you to take.
"No thanks."
He sat the glass down on the table again and watched as Fagin got up and got another drink. A short moment later Fagin came back and patted jack on his vest before he sat down again.
The evening went on as you and jack enyojed eachothers company. He had a few more drinks and Fagin scrambled up a few times from the table.
Until a small shriek could be heard. "My pearls! They've been stolen!" A seemingly rich woman screamed histerically. Everyone looked around and started speaking incoherently. They started to search every man in the pub.
Your eyes twitched nervously around the room and you noticed jack to be particularly anxious as well. You were certain it couldn't be him since he was with you the whole time though.
As they came to your table and started to feel jacks clothes up and down they stilled at his pocket and gripped into it. A pearl necklace was fished out of jacks vest pocket.
Jack had a horrified expression on his face and started to stammer out excuses. Trying to deny his fault. A gasp went through the the crowd.
"Doctor Dawkins. Is this your doing? Our doctor is robbing the people of this town!" The people roared with shock.
He would be losing his job because of this. He'd be losing his life here.
"No sir I-" jack tried to reason but you interrupted him as you saw no better way out of this.
"It is my doing. I have to confess as I do not want doctor dawkins to be blamed innocently. He had no part in this. My conciousness can not lie to you anymore. I needed the money-" another gasp went through the room.
Jack turned his face to you. A look of fear in his eyes. He tried to grap your arm to stop you but you shook him off. He wouldn't be able to pull you both out of this so you took the chance to at least save him.
The man took you roughly by the arm. "You are accused and guilty of theft."
"No." Jack muttered shaking his head. But nobody paid any attention to him.
You glanced back at him as you were escorted outside and you could see a look of desperation in his eyes.
Jack couldn't believe it. You took the blame for his buggin' thievery. He knew it would get you in trouble if he got you involved and the one thing happened he was afraid of.
He turned around to grab Fagin by the collar and pushed him harshly against the wall in a quiet corner.
"I told you not to do anything when she's around! You should be escorted to prison. Couldn't even stand to your bloody action!" He roared into Fagins face. His eyes held pure fury in them.
Fagin held his hands up in surrender and looked sheepishly. "It was a good oportunity. I didn't know they'd notice so soon." Fagin shrugged.
"You got her buggin' imprisoned. She never did anythin' ." He pushed against Fagins chest again in frustration.
"That's her own doing."
"No it is not. It is your doing. Our. Mine." Jack pushed the words painfully out. He removed himself from Fagin and ran throught his hair with his hand.
His inability to stop with the thieving, with the gambeling, to leave his past behind got you into trouble and he'd never forgive himself for it. He never should have started with this. He should have kept you safe. Far away from the mess. Far away from him.
"How do we get her out of this?" Jack asked quietly.
Fagin was quiet for a moment before a smirk appeared on his face. "You're a doctor."
Jack frowned confused. "What has that to do with anythin' right now?"
"You're her doctor."
"You mean...I can't do that..." It dawned on jack and he shook his head.
"Do you want to free her or not?"
"I'd have to declare her insane. She'd be the talk of town. She'd have no job anywhere..." Jack closed his eyes and pinched his brows. Whatever he did it would come down to harm her life in some way. "I need to know what their doing to her." He whispered and dashed out of the door.
Fagin ran after him panting quite a bit. There was determined expression on Jacks face as he made his way across town to the police station.
Fagin complained a bit about the pace and that they should call a ride but jack ignored him.
Finally standing in front of the door he knocked. There was a moment of silence and no reaction. Jack sighed and walked around the building. Searching for any way in or at least see something. A small window with bars on it suggested a look into the cell at the back of the building.
Jack waved Fagin over and told him to give him a lift. Fagin grumbled but held his hands to the ground for jack to climb onto. He could barely see through the bars but he could clearly make out a form of a person pacing back and forth in the cell.
"Y/N?!" Jack whisper-shouted into the window.
You reeled around at the sudden voice and you saw his mop of blond hair pop up behind the bars.
"Jack?! What are you doing?" You looked up at him surprised.
"Trying to get you out of there obviously. Isn't there any bobby (name for police officers in victorian times) in there with you?"
"Uh..." you looked around the room to check again. "No. I think he left to gather more information or something."
""Y/N I need to testify as your doctor. They'll let it slide if I insist."
"Testify what? That it wasn't me? Then you're guilty."
"No." His head disapeared for a moment and Fagin seemed to grumble complaints. Then his head appeared again. "I have to testify as your doctor." He cleared his throat. "I'll have to come up with some sickness. One that is cureable."
You looked at him incredilous. "You want to declare me insane? That's your way of thinking about rescueing?" You scoffed.
"Sorry." His head disapeared again. You shook your head and sat down against the wall.
Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β Β  *** It was morning when the door to the building opened again and the bobby came in. Shortly after jack did too from what you could tell. You could hear them talk but couldn't make out coherent words until they came in your direction.
You sought jacks eyes for some kind of information or reassurence but there was none. The bobby unlocked your cell door and took you by the arm to pull in jacks direction.
"You have a close look on her. Something like this happens again I will not be so kind. She's your responsibility doctor."
"Of course sir. I will keep her in line until she's cured. Thank you." Jack gave the bobby a nod and he gave jack one back out of respect.
Jack hadn't even as much as glanced in your direction. He took you by the arm bow too to escort you outside. You stayed silent the whole time. Knowing your place.
As soon as you both walked around a corner jacks expression changed completely. He turned to you with his soft deep brown eyes. "What were you thinking taking the blame." He racked a hand through his hair.
You took his rough hand in yours. "I couldn't let you be blamed. You have way more to lose than me."
Jack opened his mouth and closed it again. "Wha- that's not the point. You had nothing to do with it. I didn't want you to be involved in that stuff. I should've never started again. It's my fault and I should own up for it too."
"I know. But I gladly did it okay? I just couldn't watch you loose everything you built."
He sighed. "Thank you. But you still shouldn't have done it. I feel so guilty. I was...afraid."
You pulled yourself against him. Wrapping your arms around his slender back. "Thank you for getting me out."
He buried his face in the crook of your neck. "I'm sorry."
"It's alright. I'd always stand up for you."
"I'd always rescue you. Whatever it'd take."
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