#idk I just think it’s so so so fucking telling. that if your jumping ship cause their Live Performance Aesthetic has changed… you didn’t

[foxgloveinspace]

People jumping ship cause of the new masks is very ahhhh. Telling. Tbh.

#very much so #tell me you where only here cause of the looks without telling me your only here cause of the looks #listen. I miss the old masks already too. that’s not the point. #you can mourn for something without that taking away your joy for it. #‘it’s all moving so fast’ iii has been turning red since July. #‘they’re evolving too fast’ or we just got here later then others. #‘I can’t even listen anymore’ sucks to be you. the music that has been put out hasn’t changed so I don’t understand this one #‘they’re gonna get cancelled over this’ ok. I guess this is just thinning out the people who were real fans and who where fake fans #I’m gonna be a sleep token fan til the end. if this is the way they want their image to go? I’ll follow. if we get heavier music next? #sounds fucking amazing to me. (I listen to heavier stuff anyway). #idk I just think it’s so so so fucking telling. that if your jumping ship cause their Live Performance Aesthetic has changed… you didn’t #mean it when you said sleep token was important to you. #like I’m 100% MOURNING the old masks. I am BMO with Finn’s old hair sobbing about the old masks. #but I know this too shall pass #this is how I fucking felt about Vessel’s mask change #and to everyone going ‘what about Vessel and the Chior!’ #1). VESSEL HAD A MASK CHANGE EARLIER THIS YEAR!!! he isn’t gonna change masks again so fast those fuckers r expensive! #2). the choir did have a change?? they wherent wearing robes at all and where in body chains they looked amazing #I get we are all neurodiverse and hate change but take a deep breath before you renounce all your sleep token love #I’m guessing Vessel will get a new mask in April again. for the kick off show. #tonight was a closing show. and he didn’t FEEL GOOD. I wouldn’t be surprised that if he was gonna do something with a new mask #if he pushed it back because he didn’t feel good. #he performed a whole show while we could TELL his throat was hurting. fuck. #I want to wrap him up in a warm hug and give him hot water with honey in it. #idk I’m rambling. it’s just telling.

[runningfrom2am]

leveling the playing field XI

summary: with nowhere else to go after getting caught cheating to help lucy gray, you both make some desperately stupid decisions.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 3.3k

tags/warnings: capitol brat!reader, maybe slightly ooc coryo, idk i tried my best. do they love each other or hate each other? who knows (we do, kind of). implications and mentions of abuse, so read with caution!! also a little bit of swearing but that's neither here nor there

masterlists // nav // requests

a/n: nothing much to say other than thank you guys and i hope you like it :)

next part

"You can't call me that here!" You hiss, taking the final steps out into the summer nights breeze.

"Never mind that, what are you doing here?" Coriolanus asks as soon as the door to the back of the building shuts behind you, leaving the two of you alone in the quiet alley behind the Hob.

You groan, dragging your hands over your face. "I had nowhere to go."

"Well, I... what happened?"

"Does it really matter?" You just shake your head looking up at him now, face red with anger. "If we're gonna talk, how about we talk about how you tried to drag me down to hell with you, huh? How about we talk about you showing up after trying to ruin my life and kissing me like I'm some kind of object to you! After all this time! Let's talk about that!"

Coryo takes a sharp breath in, chewing on the inside of his cheek. "You're not an object." He says, a hint of disgust in his voice, upset that you would even imply that he felt that way.

"Funnily enough, that is the bottom of my list of concerns right now!" You laugh dryly. "I thought we were friends! I thought you cared! And maybe that was stupid of me but don't come back now saying that you do." Your narrowed eyes are rimmed with tears now, and he can see that you're hurt despite you trying to shield it in anger.

"We are friends, I-"

"No, Coriolanus, we aren't, because friends don't do that!"

"Will you stop fucking interrupting me!" He shouts, making you jump. He's fed up with you always having to have the last word. "For once, just one time, will you let me explain?"

You just stare at him, jaw grit as you look up at him. You've never looked softer, your clothes and your hair are so loose and freeing and unlike you and you've somehow never looked more like yourself.

"I'm sorry. Okay?" He says, taking a hesitant step closer to you.

"Is that all you've got?" You scoff, nodding to yourself and pushing past him to walk back inside.

He can't let you go again, he just can't. He grabs your arm, stopping you in your tracks.

"Y/N, listen, I'm sorry. I regretted it the moment I said it, I shouldn't have pulled you into that but they already knew and I just wanted to be able to help you." Internally you roll your eyes, relaxing your arm so he knows you won't run. You'll hear him out. "All I wanted was for you to come with me, I thought they would ship us off together."

"Me? As a peacekeeper? Un-fucking-likely." You reply bitterly. "Did you think that through for even a second before you decided that I would be better off with you? Or were you just scared of being alone?"

The question makes him pause, which was enough hesitation for you to pull your arm away and start walking off toward the street. "Tigris wanted me to tell you they love you, by the way!" You call back over your shoulder, turning the corner and disappearing out of his view.

You walk around the building and back to the front entrance, hoping you could lose him in the crowd if he decides to follow you. You were no longer in any mood to dance, that's for sure, so you would just wait for the show to end in the back where you first talked to Lucy Gray again. You push through the abundance of people dancing, the music blaring in your ears. You make it to the desolate hallway, attempting to gather yourself before you really start to cry.

"Y/N?" You hear someone call from behind you, and you turn at the use of your real name. It didn't sound like Coryo, or any of the Covey band.

"Sejanus!" You squeal, running back toward him and tackling him in a hug. "God, I have never been happier to see your face in my life." You sigh, resting your chin on his shoulder.

"Likewise." He chuckles, rubbing your back. "I'm so glad you're okay."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm great." You grin, taking a step back to talk to him face-to-face instead.

"We have to find Coriolanus, he'll be thrilled to see you." He says, looking over his shoulder to see if he could spot the blonde anywhere in the crowd.

"Ugh." You groan, rolling your eyes. "No, I saw him."

He snaps his head back, looking at you confused. "You don't seem happy." He observes, stating the obvious.

"Tell me, Sejanus," You muse, resting a hand on your hip as you shift your weight. "If you had someone you perceived as more than a friend take the liberty of framing you for something that could cost you your whole life when they knew you were innocent, would you forgive them if their only apology was a kiss?" You ask, raising an eyebrow at him. You knew you were stretching the truth, but Coriolanus had done the same thing, clearly, so what was the harm in wanting Sejanus on your side?

"I... what? No, he didn't- he didn't tell me that." He looks shocked, looking back again to see if he could see him.

"Well. That's what just happened, weirdly enough." You laugh, shrugging to try and portray that you don't really care much more than that.

"I- um... We were told you were sick." He changes the subject now, something you're happy about because one more thought about Coryo and you might be in tears; or you might start throwing things.

"Sick? No." You shake your head. "I ran because if I hadn't, I'd be six feet under in the Capitol cemetery by now, no doubt. That or I'd be lacking a tongue."

"Oh, wow." He doesn't know what to say, so you just hum in agreement. "Coriolanus almost convinced me you were dead, but I knew better. They couldn't kill you if they tried, I don't think."

You chuckle, shrugging slightly. "Well, yeah. So that's been my life recently. Now I'm staying with Lucy Gray." You explain. "But what about you? You follow out here Coryo too?"

"More or less." He nods, a slight smile on his face. "Hey, uh, I've got to go, got some business to take care of but we'll get together again soon, okay? I'm really glad you're alive."

You nod, hugging him again. "Yeah, of course. I'm staying at this ugly, old grey house at the edge of the seam, past the end of the road. There's goats out back, you can't miss it. You'd think there's nothing out there, but trust me, we'll be there. Come by sometime when you're free, okay?"

"Will do." He agrees, hugging you back for just a moment. "I'll see you soon, Miss Sage." He teases, giving you a polite bow before turning to return to the party. You furrow your brow a bit as he almost directly approaches Billy Taupe, Lucy Gray's ex alongside one of his scummy friends, but you decide to mind your business. Sejanus was always too nice to everyone for his own good, anyway.

"Y/N's here." Coriolanus states, both him and Sejanus helping to carry their intoxicated bunkmates back to the barracks. "You see her?"

"I did, yeah, I talked to her." He nods, eyes straight ahead as their shoes crunch over the gravel.

"You talked to her? When?"

"A little after her performance, she was heading to this back room. Seemed awfully upset."

Coryo sighs. "What did she tell you?"

"That you betrayed her." Sejanus answers simply, adjusting his friend's arm over his shoulder. "That she was going to be killed or worse if she stayed."

"That's not-" Coryo thinks it over. "I didn't betray her, Sejanus. We know one baseline thing about Y/N Y/L/N and it's that she is, if nothing else, dramatic."

"Really? I wouldn't describe her that way." Sejanus argues subtly. "She's outspoken, maybe slightly obnoxious at times, but I feel like I am too. The one thing I know for sure about her is that she's not a liar, Coriolanus."

Coryo doesn't know if he's more angry about Sejanus calling you 'obnoxious' or framing it so nicely that you don't keep your mouth shut when you probably should. You were his girl, his. No one should talk about you like that but him- praise you or critique you all the same. You didn't know it yet, necessarily, but you were his to protect and to fix, if need be. You were rough around the edges, that's for certain, but you would mellow out eventually if you ever forgave him. "She wouldn't let me explain."

"Oh, was this before or after you kissed her as an apology?" Sejanus matches the heavy statement with a laugh and Coryo rolls his eyes at his response.

"I just, I needed her to know I did it because I care. I thought she was dead."

"Okay, well, she told me where she's staying. Told me to stop by on a day off." Sejanus admits. "Maybe you should come with me."

"Maybe." He agrees.

It was another week of torturous loneliness before Coriolanus was graced with a day off, and not even so much graced as he had to trade with one of his bunkmates to have the same day off as Sejanus. As soon as they ate they grabbed a couple bags of ice to bring with them to help you and your new friends beat the heat- a peace offering, of sorts.

The early August sun beat down on their backs as they walked through the Seam, a decrepit and rundown residential area that Coryo had no doubt had never seen a single air conditioner in all its days. There's no way you were happy here. Even with the lightness of his t-shirt and the early hour, he still had to fight the urge to remove it and instead drape it over his head to shade his skin from the sun.

"There's nothing down here. She lied to you." Coryo mutters as the already crumbled road falls into nothing more than a trail.

"Y/N said we had to keep going past the road." Sejanus says, looking back at him over his shoulder. "You want to hate her so bad, but you can't."

"I certainly can." Coryo grumbles in denial. "She's giving me the runaround. Obviously, she gave you fake directions-"

"Are you sure about that?" His friend replies smugly, looking through the overgrown trees ahead at a small grey house circled in by a white fence that hadn't seen a wash in years.

Coriolanus doesn't say anything, mentally rolling his eyes at being proven wrong. "Alright, go knock, then." He gestures for his friend to go ahead.

"This is your big plan to win her over? Hide in the bushes while I go in?"

"No. I'm just sure she lied and a local drunk is about to open the door with a gun pointed at your head."

"Suit yourself." Sejanus replies lightheartedly, practically skipping up to the door and giving it a few gentle knocks before taking a step back.

It's only a few moments and lots of chatter from inside before the door is swung open. "Hello there, what can we do ya' for?" Lucy Gray grins, and Sejanus looks pointedly over his shoulder at Coryo.

"Hi, I'm Sejanus, I'm a friend of Y/N's from back home." He explains and she smiles.

"Of course! I thought I recognized you, come on in, she's out in the back but you can just pass right through." She lets him in, looking at Coryo standing just outside of the fence line.

"You coming, Coriolanus?" She asks, raising an eyebrow as she holds the door, leaning against the frame.

He plasters on a smile, nodding and walking up to her on the porch that he's shocked doesn't collapse under his feet. "How are you?" She grins at him. "It's good to see you."

"You too." He nods. "I'm glad to see you made it home safe."

"Hey, well, welcome to the club." She chuckles, closing the door behind him. "Y/N's just out back." She points toward the back door. "But she's not too keen about seeing you, you know."

"So I've heard." Coryo sighs. "The feeling is mutual."

"Then why are you here?" She asks her previous mentor calmly. He's stumped by this, unsure how to respond. "Well, if it helps, I'm real glad you're here. I missed you." Lucy Gray promises, leading him to the back door and swinging it open.

Your head turns at the appearance of Coryo's silhouette on the back stairs. You internally groan, of course Sejanus would bring him. "And you brought Coriolanus." You smile bitterly at your friend, sliding an ice cube from the bag across your bare collarbones over the shirt you had now cut the sleeves off completely to turn into a tube top.

"Yeah, well, I figured you might want to actually talk." Sejanus offers, raising an eyebrow at you.

"We wanted to make sure you were doing okay here. Living up to your high standards." Coryo replies for you.

"Do I look uncomfortable to you?" You ask, placing a hand on your hip. "Well, now you've seen it all. Thanks for coming, Coriolanus, but I'm clearly happy here, so you can be on your way. Don't you have a rebel to shoot at?"

"Hey, woah-" Sejanus chuckles, holding his hands out to you in mock surrender. "Y/N, we just wanted to visit. I know I speak for both of us when I say that we've missed you."

You sigh, rolling your eyes slightly. You were nothing if not polite, raised to be a flawless hostess in your own home. "Alright. Sit." You gesture to the patch of grass next to you, by the little garden you're digging into to start some fall flowers. You've always wanted to try a garden, but your family paid people to do that and you didn't have the time, so why would you?

Lucy Gray and Sejanus do most of the talking, and you try to avoid looking up much from the dirt you're digging up and the small seeds you're planting. Coriolanus is sitting too close to Lucy Gray for your comfort, but you've been working on your temper, and until he showed back up it was going really well.

"Lucy Gray!" Billy Taupe calls from the front of the house, drawing all of your attention. You'd seen more of him than you have cared to since you've been here, he just won't leave her alone.

"Oh lord, here we go." She huffs, standing up and brushing off her skirt.

"I'll come with you." Sejanus offers quickly, standing as well. You're reminded of how, apparently, he and Billy Taupe know each other but you still can't understand why. The two of them disappear around the side of the house, and you're left alone with Coriolanus.

You keep a straight face, continuing with your cycle. Dig a hole, move the dirt, bury the seed, water it, repeat.

"What are you planting?" He decides to break the silence, moving a little closer to you and leaning back on his palms.

"Flowers, some fruit." You mumble back, keeping your focus on your hands.

"Isn't it a bit late in the season?" He asks, head tilted as he watches you.

"Raspberries are perennials." You reply plainly. "And roses bloom until late fall, do they not?"

"They do." He nods in confirmation, smiling a little to himself. Raspberries and roses together. He wonders if you even know what you're doing, or if this was a subconscious yearning you didn't know you had; to be with him in every form.

"Then there's no harm in planting them now." You say, stopping to take a quick break. You lean back on your calves where you were kneeling, grabbing the ice bag that is now mostly melted to drink out of. You hold it out to Coryo when you're done, shaking it when he hesitates to take it from your hand. "Drink. It's hot, you'll get dehydrated quickly even just sitting out here."

Coryo takes it at that, looking away quickly when he catches that glimpse of pity in your eyes, the same look that plagued him in the weeks leading up the the games and after he thought you died. He hated it until then, but now, maybe it wasn't so bad. At least you were looking at him, and it seemed like it was some kind of inherent need you had to take care of him. The thought of that made his stomach flip.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you." You say suddenly, catching him so off guard he almost spits out his water. District life really must have been changing you, and it was worse than he imagined. It wasn't just the loose-fitting clothes that were one stitch away from falling off of your frame, however breathtaking they may somehow look. Now, Y/N Y/L/N was in the business of issuing apologies? Someone call a doctor. "I shouldn't have said... that. It was cruel."

Coryo nods slightly, wiping the sweat from his forehead. "I figured you didn't mean it."

"You were lucky they had already decided my guilt. I would have torn your head off by now, otherwise." That's the Y/N I know.

"Sejanus told me they were going to execute you."

"Well, not necessarily." You sigh, pulling your skirt back out of the way before digging your hands back into the dirt. "It wasn't stated, but it was service that was suggested. Possibly nursing, probably under my father back home. When I climbed out my window, they were discussing the possibility of having me turned into an Avox. Highbottom said I knew too much, but I know my father would rather shamelessly bury me than have his oldest turned into a symbol of rebellion." You explain, now seeing no harm in telling him the full story.

"What do you know, anyway?" Coriolanus asks. It had been bothering him for a long time, and up until a week ago, he thought you took those secrets to the grave.

"That he and my father are proprietors of the largest drug ring Panem has ever seen." You answer simply, a smug smile taking over your features as you press some dirt carefully over a planted seed. "The main storage is in a secret room in our wine cellar, an old bunker from the war. I stumbled into it when I was thirteen-ish. I mean, you wouldn't believe everything they had down there. I haven't seen anything like it. Actual gallons upon gallons of morphling, other addictive crap that'll ruin your life, even weed." You giggle, sitting back again to gesture with your hand how big everything is.

Coriolanus can feel his eyes going wide at your confession, and he stammers. "I- wow, uh..."

"Come on," You chuckle, tilting your head at him like it was obvious. "Doctors don't have that much power unless they're a game maker Like Gaul, or have that money to start. They make money, sure, but not like that."

"Well," He swallows, nodding slightly at the intake of information. "That explains you being able to walk all over Highbottom for so long." He chuckles. It all makes so much sense now, how both you and Highbottom have a seemingly endless supply of morphling on you, and your father had a decently sized sought-after medical practice, but nothing that could add up to the amount of power and influence he possessed back home. "And the weed you brought to Livia's seventeenth birthday party."

You laugh. "No one even knew what to do with it- we were all so damn sheltered." You hum, matching his smile. "Still, don't tell anyone, okay?"

"Wouldn't dream of it." He shakes his head.

"You sure? Because last I recall, you did snitch on me, Snow. And frame me, if I’m remembering correctly…"

Coryo sighs. "I know, I know... But I did mean what I said. I just- it was stupid, but I thought I could protect you. Genuinely."

You don't seem mad anymore, just smiling at him. "I know." You say, voice so sickly sweet and soft in a way he had only ever heard from you once before; when he was on the verge of a panic attack in the arena. You had told him that soon it would all be over, simultaneously you were right but you also couldn't have been more wrong.

You needed him to believe all was forgiven, and the small look of satisfaction on his face proves to you that it has worked. From here, the games were back on.

taglist: @totallynotkaibiased , @stelleduarte , @klplynn , @secretsicanthideanymore , @bejeweledreverie , @gloryekaterina , @andrewgarfieldsbitch , @queenofspades6 , @pepperonipastas , @ladybug0095 , @lunamothwrites , @sbrewer21 , @mus-tbe-a-weasley , @splxtscreen , @unclecrunkle , @karmaswitch , @coconut-dreamz , @nekee-lilac02 , @ooooglymoooogly , @riddlerloveb0t , @lovedbalances , @notyourwildestdream , @snowlandson-top , @too-lit-for-fanfic , @utopiakys , @deafeningballoonnacho , @roosterschanelslut , @chmpgneprblem , @cosmoetik , @lauravanderbooben20 , @dry0campa , @luclue , @lokidala , @urvampgfsworld , @carolanns-world @nan-nie , @shakespearseclipse , @iovemoonyy , @notyoursweetheart-honey ,  @xyzstar , @eatpizzasass, @slytherinholland , @queenofshinigamis , @elodiebeau , @soulessjourney

i've closed my taglist for coryo now!! sorry to everyone who wanted to be added, but unfortunately there was significantly more demand than i expected and i sadly just can't tag everyone. BUT! if you still want notifications when i post for this fic, please turn on my post notifs!!

#tbosas #tbosas x reader #tbosas fic #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #coriolanus x you #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus snow #coryo snow #the hunger games #thg series #thg #thg fanfic #thg fanfiction

[n0tangeliccc]

I have an idea! NSFW Jealous possesive top creek x reader, the asian girls start drawing reader with other ppl and the ships became very famous around town, tweek n craig have no other option than fuck reader until she can't think straight bc they're jealous as hell and they need to prove that reader belongs to them 💏💏💏💏

You’re ours

Craig x Fem!Reader x Tweek

(EVERYONE IS 18+)

Warning: Smut, unprotected sex, oral (m! + f! receiving), cum swallowing (it’s implied), threesome, fingering, degradation (the tiniest bit of praise), slight edging (?), semi-public sex (idk other people can hear you), uh i think that’s everything i don’t know how to tag these things😵‍💫(some parts might sound ooc im sorry!!)

A/N: I didn’t expect y’all to love the Creek stuff but here you go my loves🤭 (also this was not proofread please tell me of any misspellings!!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ✧˖°.

There stood your two lovers, Tweek and Craig, their hands shaking in rage as they looked at the huge mural of you and their close friend Clyde together. Ever since you started hanging out those same girls who once got them together have been shipping you and Clyde together and this made Tweek and Craig absolutely furious. “AcK- Craig can you believe this?” Tweek’s mind was racing with panicked thoughts of you leaving him and Craig “W-what if she leaves us for him aHh! This is too much!!” “Calm down honey” Craig rubs Tweek’s back trying to calm him down before sighing “I knew we should’ve just been open and told everyone we’re in a poly relationship now look at this shit!” He face palmed mentally. Craig knew you were well known around South Park it would have been only a matter of time before you started getting shipped with someone he just wished it was with him and Tweek, I mean they were your boyfriends for fucks sake! “T-That was too much pressure!!” Tweek was practically about to pull his hair out. “Don’t worry I’ve been thinking of a way to make it know” Craig smirks and Tweek gives him a confused look “Don’t worry honey I’ll tell you all about my plan on the way, now come on I’m sure Y/N’s waiting for us at the coffee shop”

As they walk to the shop they couldn’t help but notice something that only fueled their anger and jealousy even more, Clyde. Craig’s whole body tensed up and his grip on Tweek’s hand tightened causing the blonde to turn and look at what was happening.

You had been cleaning a bit while waiting for your lovers to arrive when Clyde had walked in and struck up a conversation. You’re body leaned against the counter as you and Clyde spoke when suddenly you heard the cafe door slam open. “So then I- What the hell??” Clyde jumped as Craig and Tweek walked in “Oh hey guys what’s up?” His smile fading quickly as his friends glared at him “Okay?..Anyways Y/N-“ “AH!-Actually WE need to t-talk to her right now” Tweek cut him off ‘Weird’ you thought, you’d never seen them act like this before “Well we can go into the back office, I’ll be right back Clyde!” You waved as the guys dragged you away from him.

You could feel the tension in the air as you walked in turning to look at your boyfriends. “So…What’s going on guys?” You asked awkwardly “What’s going on?? Seriously Y/N don’t you see what’s being spread around??” Craig answered back angrily “All these people are convinced you’re with Clyde!!” The jealousy pumping through his veins as he pulled you towards him and Tweek “You’re ours and I think it’s time we let people know” he growled in you ear. “I-In here?” You questioned as he grabbed you and sat you on the desk “People will hear guys” Craig smirked “I’m sure you’d like that considering how much of a whore you’ve been lately, don’t you think Tweek?” Tweek chuckled and nodded in agreement “B-better they hear and know”

He kissed down your neck as Craig untied your apron and unbuttoned your work shirt. Both men began leaving trails of hickies down your neck and breast switching sides so Tweek was now in front of you he continued to kiss down your torso, Craig removed your bra and began teasing your tits making you whimper. Tweek unzipped your pants and pulled them down to around your ankles before beginning to kiss your inner thighs running his hands painfully close to your aching core “Tweek..” you whimpered again making both men laugh. “What’s w-wrong baby? Feeling needy?” Tweek looked up at you with a sly grin, you rarely got to see this overly dominant side of him but when you did god did it make you wet. “Please Tweek” “I don’t know Tweek I think she’s been to much of a slut to deserve it” Craig smirked giving your breast a soft squeeze making you groan “So fucking slutty, bet you’re soaked just from us teasing aren’t you?” You hear Tweek chuckle as he pulled down your panties “Oh s-she is Craig” his fingers hovered over your clit teasingly making you shiver in anticipation “F-fucking whore” Tweek growled before sticking two of his fingers into your wet folds. You gasped loudly as he began sliding them in and out of you rapidly “F-Fuck Tweek!!” You moaned loudly “So loud, though you didn’t want anyone to hear this you slut” Craig grinned smugly as he undid his pants “Time to get that pretty mouth of yours to work” he said as he pulled cock out from his pants “Come on bitch you know you want it” You laid back on the desk as Tweek continued to ravish your pussy and Craig tapped his cock on your cheek “Go on, suck it whore” You wasted no time getting to work giving his tip kitten licks as you stoked the rest of his length. “Fuck…good whore” Craig groaned as you began to slowly began to sick your head down his shaft. Tweek smirked and flattered his tongue against your clit teasingly before harshly sucking on it making you moan around Craig cock “Yeah j-just like that baby” he removed his fingers from inside you switching to his tongue, he lapped your juices rapidly making moan even louder as you felt yourself getting closer to cumming. “A-Are you close?” Tweek asked as he pulled away, his thumb circling your clit as you pulled away from Craig and nodded desperately. “Switch?” He asked Craig “Switch” he grinned mischievously as they exchanged spots with Craig between your legs and Tweek in front of you face now. You quickly began to stroke Tweek’s dick before bringing it to your mouth as Craig teased your entrance with his cock making you whimper around Tweek. “G-gah!” Tweek moaned as your mouth did wonders on his cock. Craig slid into your wet folds a low groan escaping his lips as he began slowly began to thrust into you “That’s it take it like a good slut” he cooed in your ear as his thrust began to speed up. You’re moans we’re sending chills up Tweek’s spine as you sucked him off, he grabbed onto your hair pushing himself deeper into your throat “F-fuck- close!!” You continued even faster as you hear his breath quicken “Ngh! Y/N!!” He let out one last high pitched groan before he came in your mouth holding your head down on his cock. Craig chuckled and began thrusting even faster and harder that before as he felt your walls clenching around him “That’s it whore, cum for us” His animalistic thrust sent you over the edge and you came hard screaming out in pleasure “F-fuck” Craig grunted as his thrust became sloppier and he pushed himself into you on last time before he came.

By the next day everyone knew of your relationship with Tweek and Craig. Not because you guys announced it out loud but because poor Clyde heard the whole thing from outside the office and told everyone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ✧˖°.

Longest oneshot I’ve written (why it took me so damn long😭) also the dirtiest oml😮‍💨

#south park x reader #south park fanfiction #south park x y/n #south park x you #south park smut #craig tucker x reader #craig tucker x you #craig tucker x y/n #tweek tweak x reader #tweek tweak x you #tweek tweak x y/n #creek x reader

[netherfeildren]

The Cassandra Complex : Chapter VII : Hysminai

Series Masterlist : Moodboard

(Din Djarin x F!Reader)

A/N: Hello tin can man nation, happy Mando Monday and one million billion trillion apologies that it’s taken me a whole goddamn month to update. This has literally never happened to me with any of my stories before, and quite frankly, it feels terrible! All I can say is that like I said in my last note, after this the story changes drastically, and I was having a difficult time crossing the bridge between how we were and how we will be (oh I sounded so philosophical, are you impressed?) I needed to figure out how it was they’d be feeling in the in-between sort of place they’re at in this chapter. Apparently, that took me a whole month to do, sometimes I think I need to get a grip or something idk. 

Anyways, more canon divergence more timeline divergence. so yes, that’s all. Here it is — it’s a little idk — idk how I feel about the chapter after all that, but it is what it is, so tell me what you think!

Rating: Explicit 18+

Word Count: 8.0K

Read on AO3

CHAPTER VII : HYSMINAI

Where does unbelief begin?

Anne Carson, Glass, Irony and God

“My fucking back hurts,” he groans, flopping down on top of you. Dirty and sweaty and a little stinky from his unsuccessful hunt today, you push your hands up beneath his shirt, pulling it out from where it’s tucked in his pants to get at his skin, wrapping your legs around the tapered expanse of his strong waist.

A soft whine, as if he thinks he should argue or tell you no but can’t bring himself to. “I’m sweaty,” and then like a confession, or something frightening and shameful, “And tired, and I’m getting old,” he whispers, heavy helmet digging into the crook of your shoulder, crushing your collar bone.

“My poor baby,” you croon at him, one palm stroking the slope of his spine, the other digging beneath the layers of fabric around his neck to get at his tender nape. “You just need a bath, some rest, something to eat. It’ll all be okay after that.” And he groans, great beast that he is, rumbling through the modulator and rolling the curve of the helmet over your shoulder. You press the tips of your fingers into the thick slats of muscles along his spine, feel him jerk at a particularly sore spot, and then melt once you begin to soothe the hurt away gently. His bones seem to sag into you, the entire tremendous weight of him pressing you into the blankets until you feel like you can barely breathe. He’s a huge mass of sweltering, sweaty man, worked into exhaustion. 

To say that it had been difficult convincing him you’d be fine left on the Crest so that he could go out and hunt the bounty you’d come to Yavin 4 to retrieve, would be putting it lightly. First, he’d said you’d be coming with him, and you’d watched, patient and silent, as he’d worked himself into a knot, pacing back and forth, muttering to himself as he talked himself in and out of bringing you along several times over before he’d landed on the decision that no, you could absolutely not come out on a hunt with him – too dangerous. And so, okay, sure, whatever you say, Din. Now come sit and have some soup, and he’d grumbled and huffed and puffed the entire time while you’d stroked all the bare skin you could get at, trussed up in the armor as he was, soothing him back into calm. But then he’d come up with the brilliant plan that you’d simply return to Nevarro, jumping up to pace once again, and he’d tell Karga that he’d be unable to acquire the remaining bounties, return the pucks, and wash his hands of the Guild entirely. That idea had lasted a total of thirty seconds before you’d helpfully pointed out that the two of you still needed credits to live, fuel for the ship, food and supplies. Somehow, it seemed the practical necessity of money had slipped his mind in the midst of his stress. However, eventually, in the gentlest and most placating voice you could muster, you’d bade him to come sit with you, and crouching at your feet while you perched on your stool, fingers pressed to the tee of his vizor you’d told him that you’d learned your lesson, you weren’t going to be caught unawares again, and that he couldn’t abandon his work and his Guild because of what happened. Something about the words had felt, not necessarily like a lie, but like a falsity. There was something frightened and aware within you now. And you didn’t want to examine it closely enough to categorize it for what it truly was yet, but you knew it was there, that it’d been woken and stirred to restlessness with the appearance of the Thalassians and all they’d had to tell you about the whispers of you circulating the Outer Rim. 

And worst of all, you hadn’t told him anything of what they’d said. You hadn’t told him of the claim that there were rumors of the two of you, knowledge of what you are being passed between scheming mouths with cruel intentions. You didn’t want to worry him, you didn’t want to distract him from his work. The thought of him going out there to face unknown dangers while he left his mind here on the ship with you, worrying and fretting and not watching out for himself the way he needed to, with full attention – well, it just wasn’t a possibility. And anyways, you told yourself, liar, liar, liar, you could handle anything else that came your way. You could handle your own worry and your own fear and your own raging thoughts, what you could not handle, and this you knew with absolute certainty, was his worry and his fear. You needed him to be calm, focused, well and happy. Nothing else really mattered besides that, especially not you. 

He pulls you forward, pulling your wrists to wrap around his neck, needy, needy Mandalorian, “I’m sorry. I’m just–” a gruff sound of frustration, “Just worried.” Sometimes you think he’s the one with the ability to read minds, not you. “I’m taking you somewhere,” he says into the crook, “Once we’re done with this one.”

We. Always a we now. There is such togetherness here and now, between the two of you,

“Where?” And it’s a funny thing, always existing in the dark with him now, and you hadn’t thought about it or looked at it closely enough up until someone else, someone bad, had stepped into this comforting darkness the two of you had settled into with each other, made you realize that that's what you’ve been doing, living in the dark again. But now it’s everywhere, glaring and demanding your attention, and you can’t understand how it is that you ended up here again, a different sort of dark, surely, but still the same thing constructed in an altered form, nonetheless. Or perhaps, how or why it is that you’ve pulled him, someone that burns like a flame on their own, into your shadow. And you’ve watched him, and you know him now, so surely it must be that a man such as he could never be pulled or taken or turned into anything he didn't choose for himself because watching him is like watching a man be a god, and for a girl who’d been told all her life she was a god herself while she sat in the place of slave, it is exciting and erotic and so many things. But it is also confusing. 

And there are locked rooms inside of you: lust, grief, apathy. You would like to take a hammer to them all, but it seems that, perhaps, Din is the one taking that hammer to those doors and obliterating them for you. That help you’d always been so afraid of, he’s there to give it to you, and so the easy answer, the right answer, would seem to be for you to take that help… no? To accept what he gives you in whatever way he thinks is best because he only wants what is good for you, to help, to soften, to make things easier for you. To remove that interminable struggle you’ve found yourself in for so long, for your whole life. 

Sometimes it feels like I haven’t been happy my whole life. But I know I feel it with you.

“It’s a surprise.” Another reminder of happiness. 

It only takes him one more outing on Yavin 4, before he returns with the bounty slung over his broad shoulder. Grunts and curses as he wrestles with the heavy weight of it, stuffing it into the carbon freezer. His hair is getting too long, the rich curls peeking out beneath the lip of his helmet in the back, and the sight of them does something strange to you. A small thing like a vulnerability, a reminder that he’s only a man, only human beneath all of that beskar. That thing of fear that’s been roiling inside of you thumps and thumps and thumps, and you try and swallow it and push it down, kill it if you must, but it will not be silenced or settled. As he passes you on his way to the ladder you stop him with a small hand on his chest plate, small and seemingly insignificant in comparison to the great breadth of him – you’ve always liked that, the way that if no one knew you for what you really are, in comparison to his size and strength they’d never take you for the more dangerous one. There’s something comforting in that. You reach up to tuck the soft curls back beneath his helmet, you wish you could reach up to press a kiss to his mouth also. “Hair’s getting long,” you tell him instead. But again, he’d been distracted, worried, forgetting the small things he needed, forgetting to take care of himself. You can’t help the feeling of guilt this brings on, but then he’s gripping you around the waist and pulling you up towards himself, pressing the round of his helmet against your cheek, a hard metallic nuzzle, basically carrying you up the ladder to the cockpit with him, and you’re forced to abandon your guilt and worries for the moment. 

After a maintenance stop in Mos Eisley on the planet of Tatooine, he takes you to the terrestrial ice planet of Maldo Kreis where he tells you he’d once crash landed and come upon, believe it or not, hot springs. Nestled deep into a system of caves that run below the surface of the planet, there live a collection of hot baths. He said that the caves weren’t entirely without their threats, but that if one was careful, the baths he’d found were enough of a desolate little pocket of space that he could relax without fear of discovery. 

You’d told him that you loved water, and so he’d brought you to water he could share with you.

You watch the broad line of his shoulders as he lumbers through the icy snow, he’d wrapped you in all your layers and one of his thick capes over your own cloak so that he was sure you were as warm as possible during the short trek from the toasty interior of the Razor Crest to the cave he was familiar with. He pulls you along behind him, blaster in one hand, your fingers gripped tightly in the other, his tactical light swinging in a slow arc from side to side as the two of you make your careful progression through the dark, near silent caves. Nothing but your short, excited panting, the hollow crack of the all encompassing ice around the two of you, and his low murmurs to watch your step here and careful, cyare and step where I step; ever careful and ever cautious with you. And the cave, when he steps into the high domed cavern, the great echo of the drip, drip, dripping of the ice above melting in the rising steam, and the sight of the baths, like nothing you could have ever imagined. Nothing like the ones on Carosi XII you used to visit in your youth in the moments you found to sneak away. The bath is large, about six by ten meters in diameter and it glows. Suffused by some sort of bioluminescent light at the heart of its basin, some sort of unearthly blue light shining up from its core to alight the cavern and refract against the ice glittered walls. You stand there shocked for a moment, eyes slowly roving the large space, small and shivering and maybe even a little terrified, beside a man that on the surface would seem to the unknowing eye to be just as hard and just as frigid. “Do you like it, cyar’ika? Did I do well?” He asks you in a soft voice that holds something like boyish shyness, vulnerable uncertainty. You squeeze his arm tight, hugging it to your chest and squishing your cheek against the ice cold pauldron, burning the fine skin there. 

“Oh, Din,” you look up at him with that thing you can’t say out loud, but that you’re so entirely full of for him, “It’s so beautiful – let’s get in please. Is it safe? Please, let’s get in.” He makes an indulgent noise in his throat, extracting his arm from your tight hold to wrap it around your shoulders and urge you forward gently. 

“You get in. This is for you, little one.” And you want to argue, to say that it’s not the same without him, that it’s not worth it without him, but the water looks so lovely and warm and an azure so pure and crystalline it looks as though you’d be stepping into the heart of a diamond. He pulls his own cloak from around his shoulders and lays it on the snowy floor of the cave for you to stand on as he removes your clothes in quick, efficient movements, somehow keeping you wrapped in the layers of your own cloak and his extra cape he’d tucked you into so that you’re never entirely bared to the frigid air of the cave until he’s gently wrapping one large, gloved hand around your forearm, the other clasped at your waist to help you step into the warm bath. And that first moment of contact, submerging the tips of your toes in to your calves, knees, thighs, your hips and belly and finally your breasts, that first moment almost hurts, the shocking change from sharp cold to soothing heat burns, your skin going too tight stretched over your bones and then loose and relaxed, all strength seeming to seep from your muscles so that you’re sagging into the pool weakly with an airy moan. You float slowly out into the middle and then suddenly, remembering the most important part of the scene, you turn back to look at him, but he's still at the edge of the pool, slowly going to a crouch on his knees to watch you. He isn’t going to come in, and you try and swallow your disappointment, letting yourself sink down to the bottom, squeezing your eyes shut tightly so that all that remains is the blue glow of the pool’s luminescence. Your bare bottom settles at the base, the rocks hot against your skin, and wait there a moment, feeling as though your at the heart of a womb, nothing but a thought at the start of your life, and then pushing yourself back up, breaking the surface with a gasp, pushing the sluicing water out of your eyes, your lashes seeming to crackle and freeze at the contact with the frigid air once again. When you turn back to look at him with a wide smile, he’s slowly shaking his head at you, pissed off sound rumbling through the modulator at you staying below the surface for so long. 

You let yourself sink down until only your eyes remain above water. Stretching your toes to skim the bottom of the warm rocks at the base of the pool, and you watch him watch you, that intensity of his, so powerful it spears his visor, suffuses your entire body, moving through your limbs like electricity and pooling at the tips of your fingers and toes. You know he can see the distorted shimmer of your naked body beneath the surface of the water, the tips of your breasts, the line of your belly down to the apex of your thighs, your hair floats away from you in ghostlike fingers, as if they were reaching towards him. You suck in a tiny bit of the slightly brackish water, hold it on your tongue, and when you let your mouth break the surface you spit it towards him in a crystalline arc. “The water’s so lovely. Come hold me,” you flirt at him. He’s crouched at the edge of the pool like some metallic sentinel, entirely still, frozen in time and space. You’ll remember him like this always, you think, silent and riveted only on you. That silence of his that sometimes says so much, echoes in your mind like a shout. The helmet cocks slowly to one side, entirely predatory, and if you hadn’t come to know him as well as you have, you’d worry for a moment that he’d seem entirely unaffected, but you can make out the tiight grip of his fingers around the cap of his bent knee. The restraint in the lines of his limbs he holds himself with, and the tips of your breasts go tight and aching at the display of want, subtle and silent as it is. The stillness and the silence, he uses it as a weapon when he likes, and sometimes they hold him in reserve, but other times, they tell you so much. “Please, come join me. I won’t look. I’ll be good,” you whisper, mouth just above the surface of the water, and slowly start to tread closer to him. “I promise.”

The hand over his knee tightens, and he makes a pained, frustrated sound, spit through the modulator. He looks around the cave again, visor slowly scanning the dark crevices and passageways, and you know he’s scanning once more for heat signatures. “Turn around,” he says quietly, vizor finally coming back to you. You obey silently, treading water to the far end of the pool, as far from him as you can go, giving him space and time and privacy to divest himself of the protections of his Creed. Protections he’s ridding himself of for you. You reach the stone ledge on the opposite side of the hot spring and rest there, arms crossed over the edge and chin propped on your folded wrists, and you close your eyes and listen to the sound of him giving himself to you, the disengaging of the magnetics that hold his armor together, the hollow drop of a pauldron, another, chest plate, vambraces, the thigh and shin guards. Then the heavier thud of his helmet, and the sound of his naked sigh, your heart drops into your stomach. You bring your face down into the cove of your folded arms, hiding away, heart racing as fast as a small, hunted creature. Your water warmed arms and neck are steaming in the frozen chill of the surrounding cave, but your lower half is enveloped in all of the sensual heat of the pool. The warring sensations shiver through you, up and down the length of your spine like electricity, the back of your neck prickling and breaking out into gooseflesh. Your entire frame trembles in anticipation, everything inside going tight and hot as a flash fire, and then loose and shaky, wet and molten. You hear the rustle of clothing, his softly pained grunt and sigh from what must be him bending to shuck his boots and pants, his back hurts, and then the splash of disturbed water and a different sort of groan, one of pleasure as he submerges his sore body in all the heat of the pool. You can’t help the almost silent answering whimper that claws its way up your throat, he calls to you so strongly always, that string from rib bone to spine that you’re terrified of being without one day. Terrified of the sort of lost you’ll become if it were to ever be severed. His movements go still suddenly, all sound seeming to cut off from one moment to the next, a pressurized sort of silence so immediately jarring that for a single second of panic you’re tempted to turn around to make sure he’s still there, but then: the whisper soft pressure of a single finger dragging straight down the line of your spine. His hand unfurling to spread entirely at the small of your back, pressing you hard against the stone wall of the pool. The facade is jagged, but warmed by the volcanic heat source deep within the core of the planet, and the incongruous sensations have you breathing out a whimpered moan. “Hi,” he presses a kiss to the ball of your shoulder, the top of his dark head flashes in your peripheral vision and you snap your eyes shut quickly, and then the press of his long, hot body all along your back. His chest, his groin and the already hard cock there, the rounds of his knees at the backs of yours. He wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you away with him, lets your bodies float out into the middle of the pool. The heat is more concentrated here, as if the pool possessed its very own beating heart, warming the rest of its body, and the two of you float there, quiet, with him wrapped around you like this, the soft press of his plush mouth every once in a while, and the deep hums and rumbly sounds of his relaxed contentment. You lay your head back on his shoulder and sit in the quiet risk of this with him, but everything is so well and so peaceful that you let your mind close away that worry and that fear and that door that’d been opened inside your mind, just for now.  The galaxy is exceptionally still, here in this place with him. 

“You’re happy,” he reads your mind all the time now and amongst all the risk that surrounds the two of you, nothing bests that. “I did good. You’re happy.”

“You’re perfect,” you say in return, turning your face into his throat, hiding yourself away in his skin.

“Tell me something else that makes you happy,” he says, and a furious flush of heat floods your face, you, you want to say, you make me happier than anything, a swift frantic throbbing starting up at your throat, wrists, the backs of your knees. 

But you hold your tongue, think of another thing you’d once thought you couldn’t live without. “My blade, I think,” you say slowly. “I told you once that I, perhaps, should not have made another lightsaber.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know if I deserve it anymore. But… she’s beautiful and unique and comforting. And I wanted one. I wanted to be the bearer of a lightsaber, and so I forewent what I thought I should do, and did only what I wanted to at the time.”

“And now? Do you still think you don’t deserve it?” His voice is gentle and tentative, and you’re sure he knows these questions will only aggravate old wounds. But there is also a part of you that wants him to know anyway. Amongst all the things within you that you’d like to keep from him forever, there are others which you’d like him to understand about you, as well. Things no one else has ever or will ever know. 

“Yes, maybe more than ever.”

An admonishing click of his tongue. You know there are certain things you believe about yourself that he doesn’t agree with, you can sense it within him, and it’s the greatest gift he constantly gives you, the benefit of his doubt. “What else do you want?”

You lift your head from its hiding place in his neck, chew on the thought, peek down at his bare arms wrapped around your middle. Something about seeing them so out in the open, water strewn, the soft dark hair covering the golden brown skin and sinewy muscle feels like breaking a rule. You hold your palm hovering just beneath the surface of the water, let the tips of your fingers break the glass-like edge, the glowing light that burns beneath the rockbase of the pool suffuses between them,“Absolution, perhaps.” You.

“From what?”

“Everything.”

“From who?” You have no answer for that – a moment of shocked speechlessness. The entire galaxy. Him, above all, him. “Because you aren’t going to get it from me,” voice grave and sad and serious, gentle, as if he’s telling a very young child a very big thing. “I have nothing to absolve you of, and so I cannot give it to you.” A lie he does not know is a lie. 

I know, you breathe in the smallest voice you can. As if the quiet will prevent the words from going out into the world. Acknowledgement breathes life into a thing, and you do not, cannot, acknowledge this truth. That you have started to fear that even if he knew the truth of it all, that it would still not satiate your guilt, silence it. That, most terrifying of terrifying truths, you fear you are the only one who can give that to yourself. You wish, very badly indeed, that you had the courage to tell him the whole of it, every bad or terrible thing, the worst thing, that you could be yourself entirely. You want to ask him how he finds the courage to be so brave and so mighty all the time? You would like to say: This is me at my best. I am asking you to endure it. I know it is selfish, but it’s what I’d like anyway.

The sight of the heavy end of the Thalassian’s stick hurtling towards you flashes in your mind, the sound of your bone crunching beneath the weight. Years and years of beatings and darkness and horror. You shut your eyes to it, focus on the sound of his breaths, the drip of water, the luminescence of the pool’s hot stones glowing through the thin membrane of your eyelids, the electric blue seeping into your corneas. 

“What are you afraid of?” You ask instead. You suspect that the answer to your own courage does not necessarily lie with him, and so you alter the framing, cast it in a more revealing light. “What sorts of things worry you?” 

He thinks on it for a moment, lets his arms slip from around you to tread water, and then stillness, the sound of him cupping little pools in his palms and letting them trickle back into the bath. “I’m getting older. I worry about the day I realize I’m weaker, slower. What that’ll do to me, what it’ll feel like – to realize the tool… weapon, I’ve relied on for so long is failing me, my own body.”

“You’re not that old,” you laugh lightly, “Only the disposition of an old man.” He bumps his spine into yours, turned to face away from you now.

“Brat.” You love this game of questions. Your favorite of all the games you play together. 

“If you can look into my mind,” he says slowly, “Could you also erase my memories?” Your stomach churns with the change in direction.

“Perhaps. I… I’m not sure – I’ve never tried to do that.” You hum in nervous consideration, “I could rework them, maybe, change them. But it would be difficult to pick and choose without running the risk of wiping a mind completely, I would think.”

“Yeah… I guess that makes sense.” He’s quiet for a moment, and you listen to the rustle of the water, the lapping of his movement slicking up against your naked back. “What am I thinking about right now?” He asks suddenly, and a flush of angry heat sizzles across your face. 

“Don’t ask me those things. It’s not a game, Din.” A hypocrite in your own mind.

Another silent pause, and you can hear a smile in his voice that forces your annoyance away. “Play with me anyways,” and he bumps his back into yours again, then turns to pull you to his chest once more, drags you slowly bobbing through the water to the far end of the pool to rest on the ledge there. 

The two of you sit there back to back, and you wrap your arms around your bent knees, resting your chin against the dome of your joint and close your eyes. All of these games… But you let the Force wrap around the both of you slowly, a bubble made entirely of yourself, let it slink around him, snake up his ankle to his knee. Another up the curve of his back and over the hill of his shoulder, up the column of his neck and over his face, your power licking and tasting as it goes, feeding off of him. You listen to him gasp and can’t help but smile a little. You feel him everywhere, always, you wish – hope, he feels you like this always too. And then in, gentle as possible, like piercing the thin, delicate membrane of a piece of fruit skin, a transparent membrane, and it’s like you’re running your fingers over the contours of his present thought, held just there, tasting it off the tip of his tongue: it’s you. He’s thinking of you, and the sight of yourself within the space of his mind is jarring like a snapping bone, ragged edges of white ivory, blood red marrow. You want to jerk away immediately at the sight of yourself, but you pause, take in the sight of yourself asleep earlier on the Crest. He’d woken before you, and you’re naked and vulnerable, cheek smushed against your folded hands, hair a bedraggled mess. He drags the pad of his thumb over the swell of your breast, feels the smoothness of your skin, leans forward and crowns a fading bruise along the slope of your shoulder with a kiss by the same mouth that had placed it there earlier. You can almost taste the scent of yourself on his tongue, and you smell like him, like you belong to him. The thought that you do, that you’re his follows, charges in on the tail end of your mingled scent. Ownership so pure, so intrinsic over another being should seem wrong, no? But it’s merely fact here, as he looks upon you. And he lo– 

You pull yourself back, blinking away furious, overwhelmed, distraught tears. Tears of exaltation and such grief. This is how he sees me, you think. I am beautiful and good in his eyes. Perhaps, the greatest lie you’ve ever made him believe. 

The Thalassian crone’s voice cracks in your mind, worth nothing more than an invisible and illusory thing, The Force. He doesn’t see it yet, he still believes in the game, but fate is about to best the both of you, you’re certain of it. And you feel so fucking angry at the thought, at the reminder and memory. So frustrated that they’d found you, that they’d pierced the bubble of happiness the two of you had secluded yourselves in these past weeks together, that you were letting them disrupt it. That you couldn’t let go of the past. 

“What do you see, cyar’ika?” His voice is gentler than the water. 

“Me.” Your tears salt the pool. 

“That’s you,” he whispers, reaches back to grasp your hip. And you want to argue, to make him see the fallacy for what it is, but it’s such a lovely lie. You can’t bring yourself to ruin the dream. A sob breaks in your throat, spills out, and he turns in the water, hugs your back to himself. His face is right there, so close, out in the open. You can almost touch the dream. “Don’t cry, little one. I’m right here.”

“I’m sorry–” you gasp, press a hand over your mouth, swallow the horrible outpour back down.

“I’ve never resented my Creed more than I do right now.” He says it through clenched teeth, as if he knows he shouldn’t. “Not being able to look at your face, not being able to have you see me, to kiss you – I want to kiss you so badly.” Your heart drops down into your stomach. 

“Don’t. Don’t – you can’t. You don’t want that.”

He’s silent for a moment, stiff, and then slowly: “Why not?”

How to be honest without splitting yourself open? “You can’t give that to me, Din. I don’t– I don’t deserve it,” your voice ends on a shamed whisper. The idea of him trusting you with that last, most important thing, the sight of his face. It could never happen. Never.

“So many things you think you don’t deserve… It’s my choice, isn’t it?”

“It would be the wrong choice.”

“I’ve never done it, you know? No one has seen my face since I was a boy. The night you told me we ran the risk of you seeing me in my memory– sometimes I feel like I can’t even remember it myself. Like that isn’t even a possibility because the memory doesn’t exist. Like the face I occasionally glance at in the mirror isn’t actually me.” You could understand this so well, the phenomena of being wholly unrecognizable to yourself, and it was moments like these, when he said something that reminded you so entirely of yourself, that showed you how alike the two of you were in certain ways, that frightened you more than anything. That brought that keen sense of knowing into awareness. That made you awake to that thing you felt for him that you could not yet name or acknowledge. Acknowledging a thing brought it to life, after all. He presses another kiss over the bruise, intensifies it further with a pull of his mouth. “I never want anyone to know something about me that you don’t know. If I were ever to give it to anyone, it’d be to you.” As if he’s the one who possesses the power to read minds, not you, and you're pressing your hand over your eyes and turning in his embrace, blindly, madly shoving your face towards his and stumbling for his mouth. He grasps you around the waist, another hand to your jaw, squeezing so tight your bones feel set to burst, and with a snarl, he kisses you. Blindly, madly, like everything else this thing between the two of you has been, so full of risk. Your name in his mouth is a savage thing full of sharp teeth and want and violence, and you breathe a warbled moan into him as he pulls you further onto his lap so that you’re straddling him, aching cunt nestled against his hardness. “I never want anyone to know something about me that you don’t know,” he breathes again, licks the words onto the surface of your tongue, and you’re sure he’s trying to break you, to leave an imprint, a brand, a burn inside of you in the shape of him. Something that hurts worse than anything else ever has. It’s unfair, it is almost a cruelty, for Din– Din does not always know how a thing will end as you do. He’s absolved of such a curse, and so he must not suffer the certainty in which you’re sure there will come a time when there is a whole life of things about him which you’ll not bear witness to. It makes you cry harder, it makes you want to scream and rage and draw blood, to drink him down so that you might keep him forever. Please, please, let me keep him, let me keep him. You sob into his mouth, pull at his hair so hard he whimpers, subdues you with sharp teeth and pinching fingers. 

What is it? What is it, cyare? Tell me, and I’ll fix it for you. I cannot overcome your anguish. Your eyes are filled with darkness again, and I wish you wouldn’t cry. I know everything, and I’m still here.

You bury your face in his neck, mouth at the warm, damp salt of his skin, try and control your anguish. He doesn’t deserve these hysterics. He doesn’t deserve this. So many lies he doesn’t know you’ve embroiled him in, and you feel unfixable, like you’ll always disappoint him, like it’s inevitable. The Thalassians had been a savage reminder of this. Finally, the hiccuping cries settle, the ricocheting stone in your chest resting, and you prop your chin on his shoulder to look out at the dim surrounding cave. Steam rises off the surface of the warm pool, and the yawning mouths of the branching tributaries are pitch black holes descending into absolute darkness. You wonder, first, what it would be like to become lost in that maze of pure dark, you remember, second, that you already have been. 

“I haven’t been to a hot spring since before,” you murmur, unseeing, feel the ruffle of his overlong curls tickle your damp cheek. “I used to steal away to the ones on Carosi XII sometimes. I loved it–”

“Before…” He smoothes a large, rough paw up the sensitive line of your spine. Calluses catching at your skin, scraping and inciting. Drawing back down in a swoop to press at your tailbone, nestling his throbbing erection more snuggly between the lips of your sex. 

“My escape.” Quietly, as if speaking of it too loudly will undo the entire thing. 

“Ah.”

“It was so dark for so long,” you confess, voice full of air and ghosts.  

Both arms wrapped around your back now, he presses you tight as possible to himself, squeezes all the air and memories of the past out of your lungs. “What did it cost you? The dark, your freedom?” You wish he wouldn’t ask such things, you also want to tell him anyway. 

“Hard to define. My soul, I think. But I’m getting it back.” A soft hum, one that understands. “Have you ever felt like that… like you’d lost your soul?”

“Once or twice, maybe.” A bite to the line of muscle connecting your neck and shoulder, a slick slide of your hips ending in a jolt of pleasure. “A soul is a finicky thing to keep hold of constantly. Don’t you think?” You’ll never be happy anywhere else besides right here with him. Of this you’re absolutely certain.

“Undoubtedly. Slippery little fuckers – souls,” and his laughter is always such a gift, almost a benediction. You wrap your hand around his throat to feel the humming joy of it there, and it pulls your own from your heart, matches his happiness in the way he deserves. He deserves to have his joy reciprocated. To be with someone capable of such unadulterated happiness, that can give it to him and return it to him and amplify it ten fold. An illusory sort of thing… and Din, Din, Din deserves more than a non entity, more than something non existent. Your Mandalorian deserves so many things. You never thought it would be like this when the two of you first started this, that it would require so many things of you you’re not sure you can give. You press a soft kiss to the shell of his ear, eyes closed and safe, fingers twined through the damp curls at the back of his head. You wonder if they flop down over his forehead, if they’re laying slicked and soaking wet, pasted against his skin. You wonder what color his eyes are – dark, you think, dark and warm and rich like his hair. His scruff is grown out too, beard scratchy and a little scraggly. It leaves burns and raw marks on your skin that you press at when he’s away, not looking. The reminder of his mouth at your cunt and breasts. Another kiss to the rounding of bone behind his ear, the scrape of teeth over his jugular, the flavor of his collarbone. An entire sun inside the heart of a single man, and you wonder what that makes you. The dark sky that consumes him, perhaps? That steals the light? 

“What does your Creed cost you?”

“Everything,” he says, and your name shouts at you from his mind. The two of you are so alike in so many unknown ways again and again and again. And so many things frighten you, terrify you. You feel afraid of everything and weak and half made, only half a girl, half a creature. You don’t want him to be anything like you. You want him to be only himself full of all the greatness and goodness he possesses. 

He slides his palm between your thighs, rough fingers whispering and teasing, and then he’s pulling your hips back and notching the wide head at your entrance, wedging that thick cock inside of you, in, in, in, bumping at the mouth of your womb. No preamble, no warning, only claiming. You lay your head on his shoulder, so strong and broad, and watch your tears slide over the hill and down the valley of his back; your moan is ragged as you take him within you, and he burns inside of you like a fever. Or not like a fever, like a second heart, and there’s no reason to cry, you want to tell yourself, console yourself. He’s here, he’s as close to you as he can possibly be. And you’re happy, you are, but you are also aware. You are also yourself. You also know so many things about yourself and fate and destiny that he does not. 

“F–feel so– so fucking good, cyare.” You wrap both arms more tightly around his neck, bury your teeth in his skin, and he grips your ass with one hand, the other wrapped around your breast and pulls you harder onto his cock. “Always.”

“Din,” you whimper, clit grinding against the bone of his pelvis, little toes curling in pleasure as you moan for him.

“Yeah? Like that?” You feel him spread his knees wider beneath you, deepening the angle, and you brace your feel on the stone ledge behind him to leverage yourself better on his lap, ride him. “Fuck, yeah – just like that.” He wraps a fist in your hair, “Close your eyes. Let me see you – need to look at your face,” and he tugs your head back, chin tipped to the ceiling of the cave, throat bared, mouth hanging open. 

“Din, no– wait,” he takes too many risks. “You’re being careless–”

“Am I? I don’t give a fuck,” he grits. “I have to look at you, I have to. You can’t say no to me, you can’t tell me no.” He fucks up into you quicker, hitting that spine melting spot inside of you. “No one fucks this cunt like I do. No one,” he growls. 

No one, no one, no one. I have to look at you.

“Din, please–” you beg for something unknown. 

And he tells you that he knows and understands while he drags his fingers through your wet hair. “I know it’s so much,” and he pushes his hips up again, your cunt letting him in that little bit further, opening and blooming for him. He is changing – a changing sort of man. A phenomena of nature. He is changing you into something different. You can feel it like this hunger that cuts you in two. You fold yourself into the dream that soon your past self will be lost to you entirely if the two of you continue like this, but what worries you is that you are, in turn, changing him, as well. And you aren’t certain that whatever change wrought upon him by yourself would be something good, something that wouldn’t be damaging. 

But you… the sun could only ever change a dark thing for the better. And it was true that together you could do such incredible things, but you would not let yourself be destructive with him. You would not let yourself destroy him. “I’m not going to open my eyes,” you tell him. “I’m not going to open my eyes.”

And he begs: “Please,” but he does not say that which he’s begging for, and you won’t ask. He bends his head and pulls on the tip of your breast, sucks as much of the heavy weight of it as he can into his mouth, you’re so beautiful, he murmurs, fingertips gripping your bottom, slithering down to pet at the place where your cunt is stretched swollen around the thick root of him, wedges his fingers on either side to feel where he enters you. You rest your cheek on the crown of his head, wrapping your arms around him so that his face is buried in your breasts. The feel of his cock throbbing and swelling within you is maddening, and you’ve done this more times than you can count now, yet each time feels like there won’t be enough room within you to take him, that he’ll cleave you in two, cunt stretched to obscenity, to almost pain. The whole sun inside of a man like a god, inside of a girl who only ever wanted to be a god and failed. The whole sun illuminating the darkness into flame, and your cunt begins to pulse and flutter around him, pleasure like agony surging up your spine in electric sparks and pooling in your pelvis, tightening around him to rouse his own orgasm to spill forth and coat you from the inside. He groans savage and wanton and yours into the deep crevice of your breasts, you feel his tongue licking into the space between, tasting and branding, and you wrap around him like vines. 

Perhaps… one single moment of truth now. 

You realize you’ve never loved anything before in your entire life. You’ve never had anything to love. Din is the first. The memory of your parents, always too weak, too far removed to have ever been anything more than an acute yearning, but him, he is here, he is alive, he is with you, and you love him. 

And Din deserves so many things, but he does not deserve this. He does not deserve such a fate, such a damnation – the love of a creature such as you, a thing you’d not wish on your worst enemy. After all, it’s an impossible thing to swallow an entire sun, it’s an impossible thing to abscond entirely from the darkness. I’m sorry, you whisper as he stills within you, and he presses you so tight, as if he could squeeze out the very seed of wrongness that still lives within you.

You love him, and they will always come for you. As long as you’re alive, as long as the dark exists, as long as The Force exists they will always come for you. And one day they’ll go through him to get to you. Like some sort of grotesque chant in your mind, endlessly, without mercy, this is the only truth that remains. 

I’m sorry, you say again and again and again. 

“Cyare, I can’t help you if you won’t tell me what it is.”

And a lie to comfort can surely not be such a bad thing, if done with the right intention. Surely, it cannot be such a terrible thing. “It’s only that I’m so happy,” and you know, as soon as the words leave your mouth, that he won’t believe you, but he says nothing anyways, and it only makes you feel worse, for you know that his reticence only comes by way of his own fear. He's scared for you, scared of you, of the fact that he can feel that roiling shift within you, between you, and hasn’t yet managed to solve the riddle of it, of you. You realize that here and now, he’s scared of you. And the truth of it sears you, makes you feel worse than anything the Thalassians could have ever done to you, but this is the true mark, this is the scar forming, invisible above the injury. This is the true consequence, the worry and the apprehension and the seed of fear they’d planted between the both of you. 

“I believe in you above everything else,” you tell him in lieu of all the rest, in lieu of your love. 

He’s silent for a moment, the sound of his swallowed fear, “Why does it feel…sometimes, like all you’re doing is saying goodbye to me?”

Like a lancet through the throat, like dying, something worse than the darkside, but somehow, your voice is measured and even when you tell him, “I don’t think, even if the worst happened, that I’d ever really be able to say goodbye to you.”

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[twistedwonderlandshenanigans]

Playing Lethal Company With TWST Cast

idk I was feeling silly ig Heartslaybul

Riddle: - Invested in the lore - Hates mods - Dies more often to quicksand and teammates baiting the blind dogs to attack him - Hates his teammates (Ace) baiting the blind dogs to attack him

Trey: - Also invested in the lore - Likes the loot bugs - Mostly stays at the ship to monitor everyone and open doors/disable turrets - Tries to be responsible with the loot/money - Will kill his teammates if they're short quota and sell their bodies Cater: - Screams at the bracken and the giant worm more than anything - Loves the emote mods, poster mods, and skin mods - Will stand on a landmine just to wait for his teammates to get close and blow both of them up - Will not go back to get your body besties sorry - Always brings a sign in, always drops it so someone else has to beat the shit out of the monsters Deuce: - Gets eaten by the mimic doors...A Lot - Also dies via Ace baiting the blind dogs - Was also the one the find out about the bridge having a weight limit - Does not trust the teleporters because he always ends up in a locked room - Boomba is his worst enemy, he runs into landmines all by himself just fine he doesn't need one to run into him - Always goes back to get teammates bodies - The ghost girl targets him a lot - Has gotten really good at avoiding the coilheads because Ace always ditches him, but he can't jump on rails to save his life Ace: - Menace to his teammates (see above) - 1000000000 mods - Push mod is his favourite - Immediately finds the most annoying noisy item he can - He's fast at running but is always too slow at putting his metal items down when it's stormy out - Buys a jetpack and immediately destroys it - Buys a rifle and uses it on his teammates - Loves baiting the monsters to use the teleporters - Second loudest in the dorm after Cater, though Riddle is close too

Savannaclaw

Leona: - Will only play if push mod is enabled - Literally does nothing but kill his teammates because he thinks it's funny - The spore lizard thing is his favourite and he could not tell you why - On the last day, he ends up pulling through for his team because he wants to make quota - He will convince his teammates to ring the bell more than they should just to watch them get mauled - Loves the mod where he gets to be the monsters Ruggie: - Menace 2.0 but not in the same way Ace is - He immediately fucks with the light as soon as he can - Lies to his teammates about which emergency exits are safe - Loves the teleporters - He also loves when he can juke the turrets and stand on top of them - Also the first to run if he hears a thumper or spider - Calls the bracken his friend - Will lock people in rooms whenever possible, especially if there's a turret Jack: - Likes to stay at the ship and be dependable, will monitor and lead teammates through the map - Because of this he normally stays at full health so his teammates nominate him to go get a beehive right before they leave a moon - Buys the teleporter to get everyone's bodies back without risking loosing the loot - Doesn't know the maps from the inside very well so he will end up tailing someone the whole time if he chooses to go inside - Hates that the mimics can use voice clips from the players but it's also really funny for any dead teammates spectating - Thinks it's sad that the dogs are blind, but really appreciates the fact that the dogs and giants work together to hunt prey

Octavinelle

Azul: - Coward /affectionate - Wants to stay in the ship, but Floyd/Jade both inverse teleport him a lot lmao - Hates the SCP mod?? Map?? idk at this point - The ghost girl targets him so much it's hilarious - Tries to stay in charge of the money, Floyd usually intervenes - Dies to giants a lot - Thought the slots mod might be fun, until Floyd spent all their money - Gets used as bait a lot - The spiders hate him Jade: - Inverse teleports EVERYONE he thinks the unpredictability is Funny - Likes to sneak up on his teammates - Pretends to be a mimic a lot (Floyd panics and ends up hitting him with the shovel) - Teammates compare him to the bracken a lot (they mysteriously die shortly after) - If someone kills him he votes to return to the ship early to be petty - Loves the monster mod that lets him torture his friends - Adores the loot bugs so much they're his Little Guys - Compares Floyd to the Thumper a lot - Brings your body back to. right in front of the ship so when you're spectating you can watch them abandon you Floyd: - Menace 3.0 (uses All tactics mentioned above) - hates the backroom mod - Screams at all the monsters, mostly out of joy - Loves the twerking emote - The Jack in the Box is his favourite - He loves the nutcracker too because when he kills it he gets the rifle - He will proceed to use the rifle irresponsibly - Finds all the ways to die on Gordion - Carries the boombox around everywhere

Scarabia

Kalim: - Can't play it's too scary for him. Even the minecraft world mod. It's just not for him. When he tried playing he got struck by lightning. Jamil: - Has to play with the arachnophobia filter - Still screams with the millipedes/face huggers - Always has a shovel, flashlight and walkie so he doesn't get much loot - Likes putting the mimic mask on to terrify everyone else even if it means he dies - Also enjoys the boombox and jamming out with the slime

Pomefiore

Vil: - Gets super competitive - Actually loves the push mod but would never admit it - Loves beating the shit out of thumpers - Will kill his own teammates if they honk horns and shit he will NOT tolerate it - Ends up dying to the bracken a lot - Comments on how little sense the value of each thing is (especially the hair dryers) - Also makes up a lot of theories about the game and lore while he's playing but if you call him out on it he'll deny that he's That invested in the game (he will never look up the actual lore) Rook: - Literally only plays to try and kill the monsters he doesn't give a fuck about quota - Push mod is Funny - Dies to the slime a ridiculous amount of times because he's too busy beating the shit out of something else - Was the first one to die to a giants fart - Somehow always manages to get beehives with minimal damage - Tricks and/or "blackmails" people into trying fire exits out for him (he wants to see more of the mimic, but will leave all their loot on the ground) Epel: - Loves the high risk high reward moons - Teammates try to use him as bait, but he always uno reverses them - Blind dogs are his favourite and he likes to crouch walk with them and lowkey pretend they are his Friends - Loooooves the jetpack, he's half decent at flying with it - Has died to the ladder more than once (he did it to himself) - Also tries to send himself to the backrooms by charging things that should Not be charged - Runs into the bees by accident a lot

Ignihyde

Idia: - Literally so many fucking mods - He looses interest in Lethal Company pretty quickly - Trans cat stuffy is his baby - the cat mod is the reason he stays, but then he also refuses to sell them to the company - He sometimes lets Ortho control everything (like monsters spawning, how fast time passes in game, how many inventory slots he has, etc. etc.) and it makes it more engaging for him and fun for Ortho Ortho: - When he plays alone he only plays on the minecraft map mod - He likes collecting Steve - Otherwise he invades public lobbies and is a little menace to everyone - At least once in game he'll abandon everyone because he thinks their panicking is funny - If he dies early, he doesn't quite grasp that it's frustrating when he calls the ship to leave, so it happens pretty much whenever he dies early - Speed runner when he's by himself because he has....all the mods at his disposal

Diasomnia

Malleus: - He can't fix a tamagotchi, you think this man is playing a video game? - Sorry, you can play with him one on one to teach him the controls but you're not getting in the building Lilia: - Menace 4.0 - Grandpa is a little shit - Loves the coil heads and luring them towards his teammates, just to ditch them - Teleporters are his best friend - Dies to the elements more often than monsters (quicksand/Lightning/fall damage? Gravity) - Has also died via standing underneath the pod when it's delivering stuff - Loves the push mod - Calls the loot bugs his children - Will find a jar of pickles and defend it with a rifle, nobody is allowed to sell it Silver: - Dies to a lot of the monsters because Lilia told him there's a mod that lets him befriend them when there's not one installed - Has never died to a mimic door somehow - Has an amazing sense of direction in game, always knows where he is and how to get to the exit - Buys a rifle but tries to never use it - Mostly tails other teammates to make sure they're safe - If he stays in the ship he ends up falling asleep Sebek: - Dies to the blind dogs a lot - Also sustains damage from Lilia trolling him while he's trying to cross the bridge - Would rather play with no mods - Gets so proud when he brings back a lot of loot - Always tries to go back for more loot and ends up taking too long to get back to the ship

#v talks #twst #twisted wonderland #twst hcs #twst headcanons #feeling silly goofy #lethal company #riddle rosehearts #trey clover #cater diamond #deuce spade #ace trappola #leona kingscholar #ruggie bucchi #jack howl #azul ashengrotto #jade leech #floyd leech #kalim al asim #jamil viper #vil schoenheit #rook hunt #epel felmeir #idia shroud #ortho shroud #malleus draconia #lilia vanrouge #silver #sebek zigvolt #twst heartslaybul

[cicimunson]

What You Deserve

Author's Note: I'm easing back into writing, so this fic is super short but it's basically therapy for me rn. I do plan to resume all my series, gonna be on here much more.

Story Summary: You get your heart broken, and Eddie is there for you.

Ship: Eddie Munson x Female Reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: Reader is really fucking sad, there's a stabbing joke, idk if that would bother someone but just in case.

You burst into Eddie’s trailer without knocking, practically sprinting down the hall to his room and flinging open the door. He and his friends jump when you barge in, startled, Gareth practically falling off the bed.

“Jesus, Y/N do you knock-” Eddie trails off as he notices your tear streaked face. “Alright guys, out.” He says immediately, waving a hand dismissively.

Jeff groans. “You’re kicking us out? We’re in the middle of campaign plotting!”

“Out!” Eddie repeats, pushing them towards the door.

“Of course his girlfriend ranks above us guys, don’t act surprised.” Dustin teases, tugging on Jeff’s arm.

“She’s not my girlfriend, for the millionth time.” Eddie rolls his eyes. He wishes though.

“Mhmm, tell us that the next time you kick us out.” Gareth grumbles.

“You don’t…Eddie, never mind, I didn’t realize you were busy.” You manage to choke out.

Dustin whirls towards you when he hears the pain in your voice and realizes you’re sobbing. “Nah Y/N, it’s totally okay, we were pretty much done.” He smiles sympathetically before elbowing Jeff in the ribs.

“I’m sorry.” You mumble.

“It’s okay Y/N, we really were wrapping it up.” Jeff pats your arm as they leave.

As soon as they’re out the door, Eddie pulls you into his arms, hugging you tightly. “Sweets, what’s wrong? What happened?”

You start to sob again, burying your face in his shoulder. “He chose her. He told me he was moving on and he chose her.”

“Oh fuck. I’m so sorry. Fuck.” Eddie snuggles you closer, stroking your hair. “You deserved better than that fucking prick anyways.”

You sniffle. “Stop, he wasn’t a prick. He told me we’d never be together and I kept on deluding myself into thinking we would somehow.”

“He also told you he was in love with you knowing that you two could never be. He never should have told you. He should have left you alone.”

“Stop, you always blame other people when I’m upset. This was on me. I saw him pulling away and I knew he was trying to move on and I still held on to hope. It just hurts. I was so fucking stupid.”

“Don’t ever say that about yourself again.” Eddie says sternly, brushing tears from your face with his thumb.

“It’s true. Of course he chose her. She’s perfect. She’s skinny and beautiful and uncomplicated and everything I’m not. I knew. I fucking knew he was gonna choose her.”

“Stop it. You are fucking perfect and if he can’t see that, if he can move on like you’re nothing, he’s the fucking stupid one.”

Eddie’s heart is breaking for you. To see you sobbing and hysterical, to see you so fucking broken, it’s almost more than he can take. You were the most amazing person he’d ever known, and he hated the guy for making you doubt that.

“I want him to move on and be happy, he deserves it. But I didn’t know it was gonna hurt this badly. I know it’s selfish but I can’t help but think “What about me? What am I supposed to do?”

“It’s not selfish. You are allowed to feel whatever you feel. Your feelings are valid and fuck anyone that makes you feel otherwise.” Eddie insists, hugging you close again. “I’ve got you, okay? I’m here for you, always.”

“Can we lay down? Please? I’ve cried to the point of exhaustion.” You mumble. All you’d done the entire day was sob and your eyes were so swollen you could barely hold them open.

He pulls you onto the bed with him, shifting onto his back so that you can rest your head on his chest. “Anything you need, sweets. I’m right here.” He murmurs, kissing the top of your head.

“Thank you. I’m really sorry that I interrupted your stuff with your friends.”

“Don’t apologize. You needed me. I’d drop anything if you needed me.” Eddie admits, grateful that you can’t see the blush creeping up his neck.

“You’re so sweet. I don’t know what I would do without you.” You lean up and kiss his cheek. “I’m so lucky to have you.”

He blushes more. “You’ll always have me, Y/N.”

“Your face is red, are you hot?” You start to lean back but he tugs you against him again.

“I’m fine. Stay.” He insists.

You snuggle into his arms, reaching a hand up to twist a lock of his hair around your fingers. Your tears stop after awhile, your sniffles subside. Eddie rocks you in his arms, humming a song soothingly.

“He broke my heart, Eds.” You whisper after a bit. “And I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay again.”

“You will. In time you won’t even remember him. Someone will mention his name and you’ll draw a blank. I promise you.” 

“I don’t want to forget him. I just want the pain to stop.”

“It will, baby. Just give it time. And do whatever you need to do to feel better. Your feelings, your mental health, that’s what matters right now and fuck anyone that can’t see that.”

“You’re so insanely loyal, you know that? I could kill someone and you’d say it was their fault for running into my knife.”

“Shouldn’t have been running around sharp objects, totally their fault.” He quips, smoothing your hair as you look up at him. “Seriously, you will find happiness again. You don’t need anyone else to be happy. It comes from you, sweets.”

“You’re amazing, you know that, right?” You smile at him and realize it’s the first time you’ve smiled in days.

“There’s that gorgeous grin, I’ve missed that.” He can’t help but run his thumb over your bottom lip. Your breath hitches and your lips part as if they have a mind of their own.

Eddie groans softly, eyes fixated on your mouth. “Sweets…” His tone carries a warning.

You close off the space between the two of you and kiss him. Eddie returns the kiss, caught up in a moment of weakness. He should stop this. You’re not in the right mindset. But he indulges for a few more seconds before pulling away.

“We can’t.” He murmurs. “You need time and I understand that.”

You blush, starting to pull away from him. “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”

He tugs you back, shaking his head. “No, I’m glad you did. And I want to revisit this, when you’ve gotten over your heartbreak. I don’t want to be a rebound or a way to forget about him. I want to know that it’s real, Y/N, cause it’s real for me.”

“It is for me, too. But I agree, I need some time to process and move on from this.”

“Of course, sweets.”

~~~~~~~~~~

And Eddie does that. He gives you space and time, staying by your side to help you through your heartbreak. He holds your hand, he makes sure you eat and get some sleep, he listens to you cry and vent and scream and do everything you need to do to move on.

And one day someone brings up the guy you lost in conversation. Eddie’s eyes immediately flicker over to you, frowning.

But you’re okay. You barely register his name, your expression doesn’t change. You nod politely when someone tells you he’s engaged now, no trace of sadness or remorse on your face.

And that night, Eddie kisses you again for the first time in months. He cups your face and holds you close and tells you that he’s proud of you, that you’re amazing, and that you’re all his. Because after all, being happy with Eddie is what you deserve.

~~~~~~~~~~

Tag list: @cluz1babeabe @aunicornmademedoit @neewtmas @harrystylesandthegoobs @cancankiki @cal-is-not-on-branding @cltopp199999

#eddie x reader #eddie munson #stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson comfort #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x yn #eddie munson x you #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson reader insert #eddie munson x fem reader #eddie munson x y/n

[beanghostprincess]

I typed shuggy into tag and noticed you answering some stuff about them so I hope it’s alright to ask!!! I finished Netflix version like yesterday and I loved shuggy vibes and I told this on tw and some people came to me and told me it’s mid and there are better shanks ships, because he doesn’t really care about buggy I tried to look through wiki but it’s so many stuff there and it will take me ages to catch up Does he care about buggy?? I want someone to spoil me!! I actually really want to know this!

Some might prefer other ships and that is alright, but straight-up saying that Shanks doesn't care about Buggy is just... Not true at all. That being the main reason why some people seem to not ship them is just ridiculous. The short answer is: Yes, he does care about Buggy. Quite a lot, actually. The Netflix adaptation skipped their flashback for literally no reason (I am guessing we will see it... Someday?) but it shows Shanks cares a lot for him.

A lot of stuff happens between them but the missing flashback is more than enough to know, I think: They were on a pirate crew together and these two are shown to be always arguing about stupid things from a very young age. Like. Childhood best friends type of thing. And I find it funny how people say Shanks doesn't care about Buggy when he is shown to be the one approaching him all the time instead of Buggy doing so. Shanks actually seems more open to showing his care for Buggy than him. Constantly. Long story short, things™ happen and Buggy finds this map and this devil fruit and he wants to sail on his own to sell it and find the treasure on the map to form his own pirate crew. Again, things™ happen and Shanks appears out of nowhere, making Buggy eat the fruit suddenly and drop the map into the sea. And because Shuggy is desperate for a new life and to make a name for himself, he jumps into the sea to grab the map. Of course, he's drowning, and Shanks doesn't hesitate, not even for a damn second to save him. Idk about you, but that is peak romance to me.

That is one of the reasons why Buggy is resentful toward Shanks. Although I think the map and fruit thing is more of a metaphor/symbology than anything else for, like, the real reason why Buggy resents Shanks. But that's another story--

And, if you don't care about spoilers, I'll just tell you THE Shuggy moment for me that shows how much Shanks cares about Buggy: They were supposed to go to the last island together with their crew but Buggy suddenly got sick and was told not to go despite his begging to let him do so. And Shanks (WITHOUT ANYBODY TELLING HIM TO, BY THE WAY, THIS IS ALL HIM) stayed back with him instead of going with the rest of the crew. He took care of Buggy when he was sick. And stayed back because he clearly didn't want to achieve their dream if Buggy wasn't there too or at least he thought it was unfair to do so without him. He was heavily worried about him, too, like-- (Not to mention the parallelisms of this with the same thing happening between a canon romantic couple in the same episode... Oda you're not subtle about Shuggy).

Most people will say "but that's a thing from the PAST! He used to care about Buggy but not anymore" but they are wrong. You truly, genuinely think that SHANKS is going to stop caring for his old friend??? ??????? ????? SHANKS????????? That man values personal connections and friendships so fucking bad it is. One of the things he teaches Luffy???? Like- There is NO way he doesn't care about Buggy. Also the bubble speech theory... When they meet again at Marineford and he smiles at him so sweetly... Crying sobbing...

I hope this was enough to answer your question! People might like other ships and that is completely alright! But saying Shanks doesn't care about Buggy......................... I am side-eyeing them......

#imagine saying shanks doesn't care about buggy OF ALL THINGS #you gotta be kidding me i- this is actually really funny idk what type of show they've been watching #always found funny the 'shanks has better ships' bc.... i mean he does have great ships but the one with more emotional depth is shuggy #i don't trust people on twitter with opinions never #every time someone says shuggy is mid i start shaking with rage #and also !!!!! you can ask whatever you want anon it's totally alright #i am glad you liked the dynamic in OPLA!!! if you ever watch the show or read the manga i'm sure you'll love them even more #one piece #buggy the clown #red haired shanks #shuggy #ask-bean!

[mrs-monaghan]

Hi Shaz! I've read the 🔐 anon ask and damnnn the tea, in the answer I also see that you say that this person (probably) tell you something that is not ok to share and I was DAMN the tea with jikookers is always private 🤧 but it's ok in fact I wanted to say that I really appreciate that you and 🔐 don't share WHEN and WHERE and other infos

Shaz do u usually know a lot of stuff that u don't talk about?

Me? Of course not. I am Jon snow. Idk shit

😂😂😂😂

Not but seriously I'm an Army that lives in the UK what I'm I going to know?

But yeah let's not treat eo like idiots and pretend that people aren't sitting on gold in this fandom. First we got Kjikookers who have seen more than enough to never be insecure whenever Kookmin are MIA. To never be threatened by the vermin, ever. And to not care what V chooses to do or say when it comes to JK. Dk if y'all ever noticed but when V used to make Jikookers mad by name dropping JK it was never Kjikookers who cared. It was always I-Jikookers. And I think this is a big reason why.

Imagine... hypothetically speaking, of course... Hypothetically coz I have no way of knowing if this has ever happened and honestly don't think they could ever be this careless. But, imagine if you're an Army (so you know who BTS are) and are walking home at like 11:00pm at night then u see JK sitting on his motorcycle, waiting. Then Jimin walks up with a helmet in his hand and right before he puts in on, they say something to each other and exchange a quick peck right before they both put on their helmets and ride off.

Imagine if you witnessed something like that. You would watch tkkrs and laugh your ass off. You would see solos talking smack about Jikook and shake your head so hard going "if only they knew" That's how Kjikookers live. Aaaaah. How to be them.

Then of course we have Spanish Jikookers who always seem to know shit and lastly we have I-Jikookers who know that one Hybe cleaner's, sister's, grandma's, cousin's, uncle's dog.

So we know these people exist. And they look at asks getting sent to blogs like mine and they laugh their asses off wondering for how long people plan on being stupid. That sounds like such an amazing position to be in.... ngl. 😆

Of course there is always gonna be dumb asses who allow antis to get to them and so they leak something. Like the holding hands under the heart pic or the white day photo, trying to prove that Jikook is real. I get the moment of weakness n frustration that made u forget that you were putting Jikook at risk. But here's my thing;

If V and Jennie walking hand in hand in Paris didn't make people jump the Taekook ship, then nothing u show antis will ever fucking work. So take that kiss and take whatever sensitive info you may have and hold it close to your chest until the day Jikook come out. If they ever do. Until then, it is of no use to nobody.

Sure, I would love to know about it, I'm sure we all would, but this only breeds more stalkers who start sending JK food at his address and break into Jimin's house to try and prove they have something to hide. So whatever u got, keep that shit to yourself or strictly in that trust circle u got going on... but never post it for public consumption.

It ain't worth it.

Meanwhile, people like me are just gonna have to be happy with rosebowl and satellite Jeon because.... what else is there to do, right?

#ha ha ha haa #sad but true #ask shaz #bts ask #jikook #kookmin #minkook #jimin and jungkook #jikook is real

[fahbev]

Hi! Saw you jumped on the tim hate train, welcome to the club! Aplarently you're Damian fan, which is good bc hes also one of the characters who's hit by tim's..woobification? Victimization(???) while simultaneously being the bestest, most competent batfam member. You Damian fans honestly have my respect for the pure amount of shit Damian gets because of tim.

hi lmao. Thanks xD. I usually try to keep all my negativity off of the internet, but last night I was going the anti Tim drake tag bc my frustration was flaring up. At first i was collecting posts by liking them instead of rb, then I was replying, and then at some point... “Fuck it. I want this on my blog.”

(This is gonna be a ramble btw, I don’t care abt making a good post rn.)

I used to be fine with Tim! I think the whole thing was a lot less prominent in the dpxdc fandom bc DANNY was the fan favorite/community elected woobie, but then I kinda moved out and... well. It still took awhile for this issue to seep in bc those Tim fans (you know the ones) are certainly a minority, but I just don’t think you can be a Damian fan for longer than a few months without getting frustrated.

Nowadays I refuse to read anything tagged with any variation of “Tim Drake angst” that features the batfam. Timkon fics are usually just fine though.

Actually— recently? Shit’s been bothering me so bad that I don’t wanna risk reading fics that have Tim in the first relationship tag at all. He’s gotta at most be in the second one. Ship fics are again an exception, but I don’t tend to seek out ship fics much anyway.

But, like I said, I usually keep it to myself. Every time i catch myself venting in the tags I either screenshot the tags and delete, or I delete and retype them. I put them into a private notes document. I also journal in there a lot instead of posting it.

That document is pretty long.

I do wanna say that there’s nothing wrong with what tim fans are doing. It is fun to woobify your fave. It’s fun to prop them up and tear others down and make everything about your blorbo and it is harmless. I do it too (usually in my daydreams). It’s a fantasy, and that’s what fanfiction is for. People who act like it’s “problematic” are wrong. That doesn’t mean it’s not annoying. Because it is. It’s annoying as all fuck.

Also wanna mention that I once read a damian fic that like... started off with some delicious whump, but then it turned into a whole Damian pity party and it guilt tripped all his friends and family. Damian IS my blorbo and I couldn’t read that. I didn’t even know who Maps was at the time but it seemed so bizarre to throw her under the bus. Anyway I feel like that’s what a quite large portion of Tim fic is like except a bit less extreme.

I used to tell myself that “ohhh it’s just a rivalry. I’m sure Tim fans get the same shit in reverse all the time” but I literally NEVER see it in the other direction and spend the most of my time in Damian circles. The only time I see tim hate from damian fans is frustration at those particular fans in response to it or in response to favoritism of authors.

I mean i saw a good chunk of it last night, but what else can I expect from the anti tim drake tag?

It’s actually funny how most of the stuff in anti tags is polarized hate shitting on the character with a lot of bad takes, but in tims anti tag it was almost exclusively frustration from Damian and Jason fans, and usually pretty mild takes. Also people calling Tim boring.

Ngl, Idk much about Jason. I’m familiar with his fanon, but the only comic i’ve read that featured him in a major way was Gotham War. I don’t know him well, and I don’t have too much interest in him. However, I hate “Jason falls over in guilt and kisses Tim’s fingers begging for forgiveness” type posts in solidarity. It’s yucky.

Anyway, I didn’t even mean to get on this anti tim train you speak of, It just sorta leaked out of my vent doc. Don’t expect me to keep posting about it.

but also... don’t not expect it. It might happen.

Even so, my dms are absolutely open for Timothy Drake related frustration! I’m pretty tired of being nice to him.

#anti tim drake #ask #i may delete this later #i might also delete all my anti tim posts #i might also continue hating on him #depends on my mood #also lmao idr how much i rbed you but your blog was the source of so many of the anti tim posts

[you-cant-fuck-megaman]

so, as mentioned before, 30XX is a lot of fun. (i'm going to get back to updates soon, this game has simply siphoned my soul and now i am a child again experiencing the entire spectrum of megaman emotions at once.)

but one thing that's really starting to annoy me is the story. or rather, the complete lack of it. i guess it's true to the source material, given that the story in megaman isn't really all that great either, but at least it's straightforward before we hit the zero series. you know what you're doing, you're a little guy about three apples tall and there's a bad guy sending out robots you have to shoot. then you hit the zero series and it's just someone forgetting their meds and thinking Mechanical Violator Hakaider was a good movie (it was ok) then you hit ZX and fuck it we Kamen Rider now

point is, it's all pretty firmly straightforward shit. we know what's going on, there's an evil scientist destroying things with his robots. stop him. pls

30XX doesn't really tell you squat.

spoilers below, in case you're a moron like me and you're deeply emotionally invested in the story of megaman-alikes.

the opening tutorial cutscene features ace dying to wake up nina, who just says there's work to do. and then you hop out, shoot a robot, and end up in a space station base where a tiny lesbian tells you there's work to do. also ace is ok, you can jump into a capsule to turn into him. either that or nina is the fastest transitioning icon in media but go her i guess (go him??? idk how trans-ing works) you jump into the levels, shoot the bosses, and see a tall lesbian that tells you she's doing work and that you can't stop her work, and then the second largest cock i've seen comes out of the interdimensional hole and you mount it and you fight AU tiny lesbian and Alpha 1.0 pre-transition Nina and Ace in there.

what the fuck?

what am i doing? why am i here? what is happening? what the fuCK IS GOING ON???? WHAT AM I FIGHTING FOR?????????

the cursory idea is that you have to find the data terminals to learn what's going on in the world, but near as i can tell the tall lesbian isn't actually an evil scientist destroying things with her robots, because the world is already dying and so that's different because but it seems the more i get into things, the more lost i'm getting

characters will just randomly appear on the ship and i'm just expected to accept it. who is Delta, outside of being a dashing, charismatic, sexuality-threateningly handsome cool guy who likes a challenge? who is the scrap salvager, outside of maybe being Vika from 20XX? tiny lesbian says that if i vouched for them then they're all right to havE AROUND BUT I DIDN'T VOUCHE FOR THEM I HAVE NO CLUE WHO THEY UFCKING ARE!!!!!!!!!!

i suspect it's because of the expansion in scope in trying to make a bigger game. there's not really a lot of ways to really justify the plot of a roguelite, there's only so many methods you can explain away death and rebirth happening in-universe. last time i asked my doctor about the cycle of samsara he just told me "you have to wake up, the accident wasn't your fault". in 20XX, you're just a pair of flash-cloned experiments doing experimental runs. and that's really all the context you need; you have a setup, a goal, an antagonistic force, and a reason to do things there's the question about how the game world continues after you win the game and destroy everything and escape the space station, but i didn't say it was perfect. but it was good! it made sense!

meanwhile, 30XX seems to be about multiversal collapsing and each run is a separate world disparate from each other. there's too many worlds and each world is trying to share in the same place because the infinite universe is actually finite. and nina was demonized after 20XX because of her super-power because despite Sharp and Flat both being idiots they were actually, like, super-geniuses that made the strongest robots ever. (these are the same guys that mass-produced buzzsaw hamsters) oh, and everyone's already dead??? man this sure is some tonal dissonance from how fucking goofy everything is. not three minutes ago i saw the universe's second-largest cock plunge through time and space. midgard? more like midhard hah hah hah hahhhhhh

at the end of the day they're focused on the gameplay instead of the story. and that's perfectly fine. admirable, even, for a megaman-style project. a lot of megaman fanstuff creators (myself included) tend to masturbate text out with forces rivaling the niagara falls. oh baby, expand that wordcount. it's good to see something that just wants to focus on jumping and shooting instead of trying to write the next masterpiece exploring the nature of the human condition. but i'll admit it's a little underwhelming. i liked nina and ace and i cared about what they were doing, and 30xx doesn't seem to be willing to really flesh them out.

oh well, time for another run! 9/10 game tbh

#not megaman #megaman #30XX #20XX #inapplicable

[vacantgodling]

The sexuality/gender/otp headcanon ask game stuff for any oc of your choice? Bonus points if it's someone you haven't talked about in a while

thank you!!

i haven't talked about noh outside of the very very basics of his story and what's going on so let's talk about my favorite boyo.

here is he (cuz i found this picrew and i thought it was cute) -- the only thing that's off about it is that noh usually wears a mask over his face; he's completely mute and only uses sign language so in a way he views his mouth as "useless" so he doesn't like it being seen lol.

Sexuality: gay gay homosexual gay

Gender: noh is trans masc!

A ship I have with said character: so the main ship that i have with him is a space pirate named emerion jackson. technically speaking the two of them have known of each other since before noh had amnesia; noh and his team were actively trying to bring emerion in and though they never met in person the two of them were definitely :eye emojis: at each other because it was "oh, finally a challenge" type scenario. but then when noh disappeared off the face of the earth and started being plastered everywhere as a criminal, emerion got a little.... worried about him. it seems crazy and its not something that he would talk about to any of his crew because they would heckle him for it, but the fact that someone as formidable and determined as the mysterious (bc they'd never met face to face) noh bell; and how he's suddenly a criminal by the govt??? something is up.

the two of them end up meeting in person at a bar at the edge of a particular star system after noh is dropped off by the cargo crew that found him adrift in space. emerion recognizes noh immediately but doesn't say anything until someone else recognizes noh and a bar fight ensues bc they want to bring noh in for the money. emerion and his men jump in and end up helping him out and then he drags noh onto his ship.

at first, emerion isn't sure what to make of actually seeing noh face to face. coupled with the fact that noh doesn't remember that he was originally hunting him and his crew down its odd. but then he learns about the amnesia etc etc and emerion kind of feels guilt for not telling him everything up front. but part of him also likes the fact that noh doesn't remember anything and they end up beginning to form an actual bond and attachment to one another, which gets a BIT complicated as noh starts to learn his identity.

idk now that i'm writing all of this out fully i'm so in the mood to talk more about them; emerion is such a jackass and has a stick up it but at the same time he really cares about noh and hes SO INTIMATELY aware of HOW FUCKED he is lmaooo its kind of hilarious.

A BROTP I have with said character: noh has a really good circle of friends because they all grew up training together in the JACK and JILL program. the closest friend he has is amelia (who was his JACK so they know each other like the back of their own hands) but i think the cutest brotp/friendship he has is with neso.

neso is a very special JACK/JILL unit because she's a system with just one other alter and so she doesn't have a separate physical "body" that serves as her partner; its technically just within herself. the two of them are fully aware of each other and can switch back and forth though its not fully at will. she is the host and neon is her alter (and is essentially her older brother). neso can call neon to the front and he will show up occasionally but its not often because he doesn't really like people lol (though he is okay with the rest of their friend group). usually he shows up in dangerous situations because he's the JILL of their unit and in this universe they were able to engineer technology to change neso's eye color back and forth when she and neon switch fronting.

neso and noh are really alike and she can be somewhat childlike and cling to him. they use sign language with each other the most--especially in episodes where she's having a ptsd flashback or episode, he can help talk her down and taught her signs since she was young. they also tend to be the most quiet of their friend group and prefer to just vibe while the others (amelia, iodine, and ethan) are more personable and loud lol.

A NOTP I have with said character: this isn't a notp so much as like, its not canon anymore BUT it did used to be canon back in the day when i felt like i had to overcompensate with heterosexuality in all of my wips (i've had noh as an oc and this story for at least a decade so yknow). but before, noh and amelia were actually supposed to be the endgame couple, but at the end of the day i think they just work better together as best friends/found family. they know each other so well; to the point that its less like being with someone you're attracted to and more like being with the other half of their own brain so like... how am i gonna be attracted to myself energy. plus, amelia ends up with an engineer named claude and they're so sweet together i want to throw up <3

A random headcanon: noh is heavily inspired by my personal interpretation of link which is where his muteness stemmed from :)

General Opinion over said character: i love noh A LOT and i need to get over my fear of writing scifi because i've been wanting to tell his story for years. i project onto him a lil bit sure but he's such a fun character and i wanna figure out more about his storyline so i can be driven insane by it

since ive been talking about it so much, perhaps i might lol.

feel free to send me a character (mine or overwatch) and i'll do this for them :D

#s: noble

[crystallinestars]

Hello! I'm back for another rant :)

I was still thinking about Mihoyo's tendency to pair characters and play the ambiguity game to make more money and something I've noticed is that people will jump through sooo many hoops to defend the company. ''oh they can't be explicit because of censorship'', ''oh it's China, their culture is different!'' or even ''stupid entitled westerners always complaining about things they don't even try to understand smh 🙄''

Now, while I can agree that censorship and culture should be taken into account when talking about these games, I also feel like it's a bit disingenuous and lowkey patronising to chalk it all up to ''the Chinese are just all like that lol''

Like, why are we so vehemently defending a company that makes millions (if not billions) through ship teasing, as you've put before? Censorship does not change the fact that the development that characters get in these games (especially Genshin) goes out the window every other event or as soon as the main story is finished. And whenever I hear someone talk about censorship, I always think about Mo Dao Zu Shi (granted, the situation was different in its case so we should take it with a grain of salt) where its donghua and drama adaptations where indeed censored (but they were much more explicit than whatever's going on in Hoyoverse), yet the novel (the source material) had many MANY chapters with its two male leads going at it

I admit that I've been feeling a bit salty recently (because I feel like people only care about coding when it comes to the 'great' questions of ''OK but do these two men FUCK? How many times a day do they go at it and who's the woman in this ship??'' Meanwhile nobody ever talks about different dynamics, asexuality and aromanticism are seen as boring, and oh lord does bisexuality seem to be often treated as a trump card to say ''ok but this character is at least 50% gay'') and I also don't know that much about how everything works in China, but idk, I guess my point is that if they wanted to make ships canon, they WOULD (or could) find a way to do so

Anyway, your recent posts and asks also got me thinking and I guess I wanted to show you some support! I've seen your bio and I think it's a really smart move on your part to be clear on what you don't feel comfortable with from the get go. It can definitely be awkward when you have to tell someone that's just really excited to share their thoughts on something they enjoy that you're not interested and you'd rather not talk about this AT ALL. And it really does not help that popular ships tend to attract a lot of unhinged behaviour 😑 It's really refreshing to come across content creators like you, who are very clear in their boundaries and write such thoughtful fics

Once again, I hope you will be left to do your own thing in peace and that you'll keep finding ways and solutions for you to enjoy your favourite works without feeling alienated 💜

(And hopefully one day I will learn how to type short rants 😅)

Haha, short rants don't exist, Anon! It's perfectly okay to type long rants to me, I don't mind. If anything, I relish in them. As someone who rants and complains a lot myself, I welcome it when someone else does it. 😊 (I mean, just look at the length of my reply. I am not any better than you, dear Anon)

Lord, the "Mihoyo can't show explicit gay ships because of the CCP censorship" excuse grates on my nerves, as well. Censorship of homosexuality is definitely a thing in China, and it can sometimes be very horrible, but that's not what's stopping Mihoyo from making certain ships canon. They got way with a lot of lesbian ships in Honkai 3rd (though admittedly they had to tone it down once new laws were implemented, but the fact remains that at some point they were able to be blatant about their ships), and if we're talking actual coding, then Jeht being lesbian-coded is a thing that exists! If it was such a huge deal, I feel like Mihoyo would have either been way more subtle about it or not included these things at all.

It's just my personal opinion, but I'm certain that the reason Mihoyo doesn't make any ship canon is for the sake of making money. They need to sell characters, and the best way to do that is to allow players to enjoy characters the way they want. Assigning a specific sexuality or canon ship will crush the interpretations some players have about a character, and make that character unappealing. It would negatively impact their sales. Keeping things vague and only giving teases of the most popular ships seems to be the ideal marketing tactic for them. It panders to a lot more people this way and keeps most of them happy (however, the fact remains that they ignore a particular demographic of women, though that's a story for another time).

Regarding your reasons why people whip out the "coding" card... YOU ARE SO RIGHT! People only use sexuality coding as a way to "prove" their gay ship is canon and discredit any BG pairing. And they focus on things like one guy being muscular and the other more slender, and then assigning traditionally masculine and feminine traits to them, respectively. I could go on a whole separate rant about this topic, but I'll spare you the wall of text. Feminizing one of the guys in a gay ship is one of my biggest pet peeves, especially when it's OOC for the character.

One thing I noticed is that sexuality often gets used as a convenient tool to suit the needs of certain shippers instead of being used for actual diversity.

I can't tell you the amount of times I saw a sexuality tier list where the aromantic and asexual rows were treated as trash bins where people tossed the characters they didn't care about. There's no actual thought put into the sorting, and that's very unfair to actual aro and ace persons.

As for bisexuality... it's such a polarizing topic in fandoms. It's seen as a good thing when you have a canonical BG pairing, because then you can claim one or both are bi and therefore are also attracted to the same sex (as you said, they're "at last 50% gay" and can be shipped in gay pairings). However, if you have a non-canon BL or GL ship, saying one or both characters are bi is tantamount to treason. How dare you suggest they can be attracted to the opposite sex? That's erasing the gay representation!

Basically, bisexuality, much like the term "coding", gets treated like a tool that's allowed to exist only when it's convenient to a person, instead of as an actual sexuality real people have. I feel like bi, aroace, and pansexual people get shafted hard in fandoms in general.

Anyways, thank you for your support, Anon! I mentioned it in another post, but putting your likes and dislikes in the bio is a common practice in the Eastern part of the world, and I chose to copy that. I think it's a good way to meet people with similar interests while also letting those who have opposite interests avoid you. If the BL Anon had checked my bio first before following me, he could have spared himself some trouble haha. Sadly, it seems that many don't look at bios 😢

Thank you for your nice sentiments! I'm fairly confident that I won't be harassed, especially not in the reader-insert community, but I appreciate the thought! And hopefully I can find a way to combat the alienation... If not, then I'll simply uninstall both HSR and Genshin and find games that actually pander to me 😅

May you stay happy and free of harassment as well, dear Anon! 💚

#Lunaria answers #Hopefully the read more bar works properly this time

[our-death-means-flag]

idk if you take requests but izzy hands x male!reader who has cptsd. they aren’t dating yet and absolutely fucking hate each other. always at each others throats. one day, ed and stede decide to dock the ship at a certain place, presumably near australia to have drinks with some of eds old buds. as everyone’s moving to get off of the ship & enjoy the land, reader fucking freezes. no one really notices, thinking it to just be him taking in the good view of the town, but he’s having flashbacks. the town they were in was his hometown & he did not come from a good family— I’ll leave it at that. Izzy’s the last one to move off, having been securing some shit at the front & starts to chastise him for being so fuckin slow. he just says something rude as fuck about him just standing there & reader jumps up, clearly startled and tells him to fuck the hell off. izzys surprised at this because for some reason it just felt different— like he had crossed some type of invisible line. reader reluctantly walks to land, hands shaking. Izzy’s just concerned because he’s sort of like what the fuck why don’t they have their dagger against my fucking neck right now. eventually they all go on some type of nature hike, stede’s request, having lived on land majority of his adult life and wanting to explore the newfound territory with Ed. while there the crew (mostly Lucius) is confused as to why reader hasn’t said anything funny or snarky yet. usually he would be the one to make them laugh at shit, if not frenchie or just the ships usual antics. something was just off. the way y/ns eyes glazed over when he saw something vaguely familiar, the ever-so-slight tremble in his left hand. later, lucius says some shit like “are you alright?” And iz just fucking I don’t even know. he corners the reader and sort of passive aggressively orders him to tell him what the fucks going on. cue reader really really really hesitantly opening up after saying some snarky shit in resp to him. maybe it leads to them confessing to each other? or getting really drunk? or cuddling? maybe all three.

Will I Ever Get Out of This Town?

Ship: Izzy Hands x masc!Reader Summary: A visit to a familiar port brings back horrible memories for Y/N but an unexpected person tries to help. Notes: Per request, masc!reader!  I’m no expert on these topics and my personal experience is kinda lacking but I did my level best to write everything as respectfully as possible. Title from Walking Around a Sh*tty Old Town At Midnight by TheEggoMan (I might start using lyrics or quotes for all fic titles since i’m really bad at coming up with names Warnings: y/n being mean to himself, mentions of past abuse (physical and verbal), cptsd, panic attacks, vague traumatic flashbacks, Izzy being Izzy (he’s trying to help but he’s not great at it), drinking

It hadn’t changed a bit.

You stood on the deck, white knuckle gripping the railing, looking out onto the horribly familiar port town.

Your hometown hadn’t changed a bit.

You weren’t sure what you’d been expecting. 

Well aside from never coming back here. The day you’d left this place behind was the day you’d promised yourself that you’d never come back. And yet, here you were. 

It was pathetic. You were a goddamn adult. It had been years since you’d been here. So why was being here still fucking with you? The rational side of you remembered some of the stuff you’d heard about long lasting trauma but the much less rational and much much louder side of you, kept reminding you that you were still the same terrified kid you’d been all those years ago. That you hadn’t grown or changed at all.

You tightened your grip on the rails. You could distantly hear the chatter of the crew as they all set out on the “nature walk” Stede had insisted on. But your mind was elsewhere. Even as you tried to cling to the present your mind dragged you back into the past. 

Raised voices.

Bruises.

Things breaking.

You breaking.

Being trapped in a life that made the idea of working yourself to death on a pirate ship seem like an improvement.

It all came back. Everything you’d tried not to think about.

You hadn’t even noticed someone approaching until a hand grabbed your shoulder. The instincts you’d managed to train over years of piracy vanished and rather than snapping the offending wrist or pulling your knife, you cowered away, spinning so fast you were almost dizzy and all but slamming your back into the railing, arms desperately pulled up to protect yourself even though you knew full well that it wouldn’t do much.

Chest heaving from exertion your mind finally registered what was actually going on in the present. Izzy fucking Hands, crown prince of asshole himself,was right there looking at you with a confused expression, if he’d said anything you hadn’t heard it. Usually you’d push, make some snarky comments about him or whatever he’d been asking you to do. But you were still gripped tightly by the past so all you could manage was a weak “Fuck off.”

Desperate for a quick escape, you all but ran down the plank to catch up with the rest of the crew, leaving a rather confused Izzy behind.

Izzy had noticed almost immediately that something wasn’t quite right with you. He’d always run a tight ship and keeping an eye out for anyone acting off was part of that. And you’d been off ever since Ed had set out their next course. You’d been quieter than usual. That wasn’t good. A change like that…  It usually meant that mutiny was brewing.

But it didn’t seem to be a mutiny. You were just as polite and respectful as ever with the captain(s).

You just seemed… distracted. When he’d snapped at you for something you’d respond with a generic “fuck off” rather than the usual creative retorts you always managed to give. It was disconcerting.

You were a bastard and Izzy hated your guts but you were also one of few people on the ship with an actual functioning brain. If he gave you an actually important task, you’d tell him off but it would get done well. You were still working but you seemed off.

Your weird behavior had started when Ed had decided on the next port you all were stopping at so Izzy wondered if maybe you were planning on deserting. It was possible. More likely than a mutiny in your case. But that would also be a pain. Not only were you actually competent, but you could also rally the idiots to actually get work done. Losing you would be (as much as Izzy was loath to admit) a hit to the crew as a whole. (Besides Izzy would bet money that Bonnet was the kind of idiot to send a fucking search party of you didn’t come back)

Izzy’s plan had been to stay on top of your movements while at port and drag you back if needed. But contrary to what Izzy had expected, you didn’t jump at the chance to leave the ship, in fact you did the opposite…

You were just standing there, staring off into the distance. Izzy rolled his eyes. Seriously? You really were acting off if you were getting distracted so easily. “The fuck are you doing?” Izzy snarled, already anticipating your snarky response. He didn’t get one. Hell, he didn’t even get a response at all. You didn’t so much as twitch. Izzys irritation won over his concerns and he grabbed your arm. “If we needed something to just stand there motionless, we’d buy a fucking statue! Get fucking moving or-“

He was cut off but not the way he expected. Any other day he wouldn’t have been able to get close enough to grab you and if somehow he’d managed it, he’d end up with your knife at his throat. Instead you spun to face him, a look of abject fear on your face as you cowered behind your hands. You blinked, as if waking up from a dream and glared at him. He expected the usual snarky comment but instead all he got was a weak, shaky, “fuck off” and then you just ran off. More strange behavior. You telling him to fuck off wasnt all that unusual but you typically had more to say. 

But not this time.

Instead Izzy was left standing alone on deck as you all but ran to catch up with the rest of the crew.

Something was wrong.

Something was most certainly wrong. Your actions made it readily apparent. Or rather your lack of actions. 

Izzy had appointed himself as the unofficial watch for this stupid “nature hike” and was doing his damndest to keep the idiot brigade from getting themselves killed. But he couldn’t help but notice you. You usually had a slew of snarky comments about almost any situation. You weren’t too shy about voicing your thoughts. But not today. Aside from a few hums and a yes or no in response to a question, you hadn’t said a damn word. Izzy would be lying if he said he wasn’t kind of missing it. As much as you went along with Bonnet’s stupid schemes, you were much more of a real pirate than the rest and your commentary was annoyingly entertaining. He remembered having to bite his tongue to keep from chuckling at a few of your jabs. It was really off putting to see you so… placid. You just followed along and moved almost in a daze. At one point he'd seen Frenchie grab your arm to pull you over to see something and you’d gone stock stiff under the grip.  But what the fuck was he supposed to do about it? 

Though it seemed he wasn’t the only one… It had been a bit into the nature hike. (If Izzy had to listen to one more fucking dumbass bug and/or plant spiel from Stede Fockin’ Bonnet, he’d probably accept getting murdered by Ed just so he could kick Bonnet’s teeth in a little.) You had been conscripted by Edward to help him hunt down some kind of food and the rest of the idiots were lazing around waiting while Bonnet grabbed a few crewmembers to start a fire. Izzy was watching that trainwreck occur.

“What the hell did you do?” The harsh tone wasn’t all that surprising, what was surprising however was who it was coming from. Izzy glanced to see none other than Spriggs, standing arms crossed.

Izzy sighed. He was so incredibly not in the mood for this shit. “What?” He all but snarled the word. 

Just as before, Spriggs didn’t even waver. “You know what!” Izzy’s expression shifted from annoyed to annoyed and confused. “Y/N! What did you do to him?” 

That caught Izzy off guard. “What I did?”

That only seemed to piss Lucius off more. “Of course you! You’re always being such a fucking dick to him! I saw you yelling at him before we got off the ship and now he’s barely talking to anyone. What did you say?”

A part of Izzy felt a little vindicated to know that he wasn’t the only one who noticed. “I didn’t.” He seemed moments away from being interrupted when he added a curt “I didn’t say anything out of the ordinary. He’s been acting off for a while actually.” Lucius didn’t seem convinced. Izzy huffed a sigh. “The reason I was yelling at him earlier was because he was zoning out. He was just staring. He didn’t even notice me until I grabbed his shoulder. I doubt he even knows what I said.”

Lucius narrowed his eyes. Izzy resisted the urge to fidget under the scrutiny. After a long moment, Lucius finally spoke. “You really don’t know what’s bothering him do you?” Izzy simply shook his head. Spriggs furrowed his brow. “Huh.” 

Before either of them could say anything, Ed interrupted when he strolled back into the clearing, arms full of different fruit. “Hey-o! We didn’t find any snakes but you need to check out all this fruit Y/N found!” You lingered behind, tossing one fruit in your hand boredly, as the rest of the crew fussed over the fruits. Ed all but dumped the fruits into Roach’s arms (who was already rambling about flavors) and looped an arm around your shoulder. 

(Izzy had no idea how you’d managed to befriend his captain so damn fast but Ed seemed more comfortable around you than even some of the Queen Anne’s crew.) 

And usually, you’d have no trouble with Ed’s closeness but, in keeping with how you’d been acting off all day, this time you froze. It was clear you tensed just from the way that your nails dug into the skin of the fruit you were holding. Ed, seemingly noticing your odd behavior, let go and whispered something, his beard making lipreading impossible. You shook your head in response. Ed still seemed concerned but was quickly distracted by Stede, even though he gave you a thumbs up over his shoulder as he left 

The rest of the day went the same way. Izzy didn’t get involved in any of the crew's shenanigans, deciding just to stand back and keep watch. Yet, his focus kept drifting back to you. You were quiet and didn’t really interact much or make many comments. Despite Lucius’ attempts to get you to relax you seemed determined not to. As the day turned to night, you drifted away from the group. Just lingering on the outskirts of the clearing that the crew had chosen as a base, nursing the same drink for what seemed to be hours and just staring.  

Perhaps it was the strangeness of how you were acting or maybe it was the light buzz Izzy was feeling or maybe both, but he found himself walking over to you. Again you didn’t notice him approaching. Which was still very strange. Even if you had been drunk (which you definitely weren’t considering he hadn’t seen you grab another drink and the one you still held in your hand was only half empty) you’d always notice someone approaching you. 

Izzy tapped you on the shoulder, making you jump. You didn’t say anything. Shit. Izzy immediately realized he should have planned what to say but he had approached you rather impulsively. Instead of anything that made sense like a ‘what’s wrong’ or a ‘want to talk it through (ugh)’ what came out of Izzy’s mouth was “The fuck is your problem?”

He realized that was probably a bad move when you glared at him. Your glare wavered. “Fuck off.” You grumbled. “I’m not in the mood for any of your bullshit right now. Go piss off someone else.”

A part of Izzy wanted to back off. But the almost dead look on your face and the ever-so-slight tremble in your left hand, caused him to stay.

 “No, shit. fuck. I’m not… I-” He paused for a long moment as he tried to gather his thoughts. Usually you probably would have let him and waited for him to figure out what he wanted to say. But you were pissed. So with a huff, you moved to walk away. 

And Izzy did another stupid thing. He reached out and grabbed your arm. 

You yanked your arm out of his grip so forcefully that you stumbled backwards and nearly fell, instead your back hit a tree and you all but sank down it, all but cowering behind your arms, drink long dropped. Your arms shook as you stared wide eyed at him but clearly not actually seeing him. The commotion attracted the attention of the rest of the crew.

A beat.

You blinked, seemingly realized what was actually going on, jumped to your feet and, before anyone could do anything, booked it into the woods.

Every breath felt like it caught in your throat. 

You couldn’t believe you’d made such a fool of yourself.  In front of the whole entire crew no less. In front of Izzy.

Despite how long it had been, you still knew the path. Your legs moved almost numbly as you ran but your course was clear. 

You stumbled out onto the ever so familiar cliff side. Shoulders still heaving from the run and your anxiety, you looked out over the entire town, the ocean glimmering under the moon. The small town hadn’t changed.

The rock that you’d always used as a chair was still the same too. You sighed as you sat down. You pulled your legs up against your chest and rested your chin on your knees. You tried very very hard not to cry but, before you could stop yourself, tears were streaming down your cheeks.

 You knew it would be best to go back to the crew. They were probably confused about you running off and you didn’t want them to think you were deserting the ship. But you needed a minute. Even if the crew had decided to follow you for some reason, not only were you probably the most sober but you still knew these woods like the back of your hand. So you had time. 

Then you heard a crack of a branch. You almost missed it over your own heartbeat pounding in your head but being here, at the spot you always used to hide at, made you senses overwhelming.

“Lucius I-” You started as you frantically wiped your face and sat up to take a look at who you assumed to be the well-meaning scribe. Just as you were wondering how he’d managed to keep up, you locked eyes with Izzy Hands. You sighed. “Go on then, laugh it up.” You mumbled.

“What?” The man’s voice was softer than you’d ever heard it.

 You gave the man your best glare (not too effective with your teary eyes and curled posture). “Really? No need to play dumb. Look! Y/N L/N being pathetic. Enjoy the show, asshole!”

Izzy looked woefully uncomfortable. He glanced briefly over his shoulder as if wondering if anyone would swoop in and save him from the awkwardness. No one did. It seemed that (being as good on his feet and less drunk than the crew) he’d been the only one who’d managed to keep up. “I…” He gave another glance. Still no luck. “I wasn’t going to mock you.”

You rolled your eyes. “Then why are you here? Hell, why have you been bothering me all day?” Izzy gave you a confused look. “You yelled at me on deck. You’ve been staring at me all day. You talked to me. And then when I wanted to leave you grabbed me. Then you chased me all the way up here!” You counted off on your fingers as you spoke. If it wasn’t mockery then what? The only other option you could think of was an ass-backwards attempt at murder but it was much too underhanded for Izzy usually.

“I…” Izzy fumbled for words. You resisted the urge to snark at him again. “I thought that you were acting strange.”

“So you decided to bother me all day?”

“I wanted to help.” His voice was so soft you barely heard it. In fact, you immediately assumed that you’d heard incorrectly. 

“What…?”

“I wanted to help.” It was barely louder this time. “You’re competent. A valuable member of the crew. You’ve been acting odd since the captains decided to make port here. I wanted to fix it. I wanted to help.”

A part of you wanted to laugh. He wanted to help so he yelled at you and asked ‘what the fuck was going on?’ it was utterly ridiculous… and absolutely the sort of thing Izz would do. It was an actual attempt to help. You sighed, scooted over and patted the rock. “Come on. Sit down.”

Izzy did, noticeably sitting far enough away that his legs didn’t touch yours. He folded his hands awkwardly in his lap.

You sighed and before you could talk yourself out of it, you spoke. “I grew up here. Seems like I still know these woods as well as I used to.” That got Izzy’s attention. You could see him looking at you from the peripherals of your vision. But instead you stared out at the ocean. Looking at it from here it wasn’t surprising that you’d decided to go out to see and never look back, it glittered like a sea of gems. “I lived right down in that town.” You pointed. “My family…”  Your voice wavered and you paused.  Izzy just stayed silent and let you talk. “ They weren’t very good to me. Let’s just say that not all my scars are from pirating… I used to come up here a lot.  Sometimes sitting out here, even in the cold or the heat, was better than going home. I’d sit here and stare at the ocean and think of sailing away some day. That’s why I left. Why I became a pirate. Would you believe me if I said I think the pirate ship was safer? Sure I could have died but I’m damn sure if I stayed here, I’d already be dead.” You sighed and leaned your head back looking at the stars above you. “And the day I got on my first ship, I promised myself I’d never come back here. I guess that’s what's been bothering me.”

“I see.” Izzy mumbled out. 

“Yeah… They’re all gone by now probably. Nothing interesting I’m afraid.” You teased lightly. 

“No, that’s not what I meant…” He seemed to fumble for words for a long moment. You glanced over at him to see him clearly deep in thought. He’d listened to you ramble, the least you could do was give him the same courtesy. “Most people don’t choose to be pirates unless they don’t have anything left for them on land. I know a bit of how you feel… If I stayed on land, I’d be dead too. I was a street kid. Joined the navy, not completely by choice, then switched sides the first chance I got.” You nodded along. That made sense. Izzy’s precise fighting style made sense. “I’m sorry that happened to you.” He met your eyes somewhat nervously.

“Not much anyone can do to change the past.” 

Izzy shrugged. “I’m sorry all the same.”

You scooted closer to Izzy, letting your leg brush against his. He jumped but didn’t snap at you or pull away. You wrapped an arm around his shoulder and leaned against him. He noticeably relaxed under your touch. “Thanks Izzy. I appreciate you coming out here.”

“Honestly I don't think I helped much.” Izzy muttered. 

You chuckled. “Eh, you did pretty okay for your first try. Talking it through is much harder than it seems, eh?” Izzy grumbled in response but didn’t do much more than that. 

You looked back at the town below. “You know… The whole place looks much smaller now…” And it did. The same town that had felt like your entire world the last time you’d been here was just a tiny town. You could even see the Revenge from here. Your actual home.

As comfortable as it was leaning against Izzy, you knew you had to double back to the crew. You sighed and stood, gently pulling Izzy up with you. “We should probably get back to the crew… Otherwise they might think you killed me or something.” Your tone wasn’t right but it was closer to the kind of jabs you’d normally give. Izzy chuckled.

 Even once you two had stood up, you didn’t let go of Izzy, your arm still around his shoulder. You’d barely made it halfway back to the clearing where the rest of the crew was when a figure jumped out at you. Your knife was in your hands fast but then you realized who it was:  Jim had their knife pointed at Izzy.

“Bastardito! What did you do to him?” 

Before any blood could be shed you chimed in. “Jim! I’m okay. I’m right here. Izzy was helping.” Jim released Izzy and gave you a suspicious look. “Okay I’m not fine but Izzy didn’t do anything to me. He has nothing to do with why I ran off.”

Jim seemed to accept that as they leaned back and yelled “I found them!”

The moment you passed the threshold of the clearing almost the entire crew surrounded you. You were so overwhelmed by the whole crew around you that you almost missed Izzy pulling the two captains aside. 

“Y/N! Are you okay?”

“You had us so worried!”

Lucius was quick to make sure the crew didn’t crowd you too much.

“Alright then everyone! Let’s head back to the ship!” Stede’s chipper voice interrupted everyone. You raised a brow.

“I thought we were sleeping out here tonight?” The Swede asked, confused.

“Yes, well. Change in plans! The ship would be much better than this place! I mean the weather is positively atrocious! Think of the ambiance my good man!” 

Before anyone could ask Stede what the hell he was talking about (it was a clear night? and what was an “ambiance”?) Ed spoke up. “Come on everyone! You heard the captain.”

You spent the rest of the walk to the ship listening to Stede ramble about how most certainly this was not a place you all should be, Ed chiming in that you should pick the next port stop, and the rest of the crew making a point of trying to get you to laugh (succeeding a few times). 

You didn’t get another chance to talk to Izzy until the rest of the crew was asleep. You found him sitting on the mizzen top leaning against the mast, holding a bottle of some kind of alcohol. Without even hesitating you climbed up so you could sit next to him. After a moment of silence, “What did you tell the captains to get them to leave so quickly?”

“The truth. I said that you were uncomfortable here and that we should leave. Simple as that.” He responded.

You smiled. “Thanks Izzy.”

“Of course…” He fumbled for a moment as if trying to find something to say, then he simply offered the bottle in his hand. 

Getting drunk at that port was not something you wanted, but now that you could see it fading in the Revenge’s wake, you accepted. You took a swig and were surprised to find it tasted like good fancy rum. You looked at the bottle and then at Izzy.

“From my stash I took off the Anne. Don’t you dare tell the others, I am not sharing with them.” Izzy explained. 

You chuckled and took another swig before handing the bottle back. “Cross my little black heart.” You promised teasingly. “Although, first you help me out and now you’re sharing your fancy rum with me… I might get the idea that you don’t hate me.”

“I don’t.” Izzy mumbled. 

“What?” 

“I don’t hate you.” His words were almost slurred a little and you realized that the bottle had been half empty. “You’re a good pirate. And funny. I missed your jokes…” He almost whined.

You gently took the bottle back then took a swig for confidence. “I don’t hate you either. You may be an asshole but I can appreciate that.”

Izzy laughed and leaned against you, resting his head on your shoulder. You smiled and adjusted so you could loop an arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer. 

Since you only had one bottle, you couldn’t exactly cheers but you could raise the bottle while you and Izzy were both holding it. “To the future!”

Izzy laughed, his breath tickling your collarbone. “To the future! Fuck the past!”

You couldn’t help but laugh along. “Yeah! Fuck the past!” You held up a middle finger at the lingering lights of a port you’d been trapped in. The two of you continued that way, joking and yelling, until the port faded completely from view. Then you felt Izzy go completely limp against your side. You glanced over seeing he’d fallen asleep. With a small smile, you pulled the bottle from his hand and set it aside before curling up yourself.

As much as you could say “Fuck the past” the burden it left was still there. But as you sat on the mizzen top and watched that damn place disappear over the horizon, on a ship full of people who’d been worried about you, who had changed their plans to accommodate you, with Izzy Fucking Hands of all people asleep at your side, that burden had never felt lighter.

A/N: I did my best to stay true to the request but I made a few small changes, hope that’s okay!  Writing a reader with he/him pronouns was a little tricky. I’m so used to they/them readers.

#ofmd x reader #izzy hands x reader #israel hands x reader #ofmd izzy #ofmd #our flag means death #tw: past abuse #tw abuse mention #tw past abuse #I saw a few fics where Jim calls Izzy “Bastardito” which means little bastard and it’s perfect.

[disneybrandautism]

here are some taylor swift songs i think each of the sides would like! (with some explanation)

nobody asked for this but im doing this instead of my APUSH homework. i’m going to start with roman and go through all of them!

(some ships are mentioned but it’s only a couple times. i promise it’s not all the songs.)

(roman has the most because he would be the biggest swiftie leave me alone)

Roman

enchanted- you cannot tell me roman wouldn’t love the disney romcom vibes of this song. he would love how sweet it was. it’s like meeting your hero.

i bet you think about me - he’s so petty. he would eat this song up.

mirrorball - i feel like this is a given. he would relate an insane amount to this song.

hoax - “your faithless love is the only hoax i believe in” be so fr. this could apply to any of his friendships or relationships with the other sides. his blind faith in the other sides. yeah.

the archer - we all knew this was coming. he would sob listening to this song.

jump then fall - again with the hopeless romantic bit. he would just thing this song is really cute.

question…? - i just think he’d have fun with song. he’d like the beat and just how much of a bop it is.

tolerate it - do i really have to explain myself? come on. he tolerates all the insults. this is his like standing up for himself era.

king of my heart - king is literally in the title. he would again just have fun with this song. so disney prince of him.

champagne problems - feeling the bad guy and knowing you fucked up. it’s so him oh my god don’t even with me.

i could continue. i won’t. next up is logan!

Logan

say don’t go - i just feel like logan would really relate to needing to hear someone tell him not to leave when he gets into an argument.

innocent - i can’t explain this one i just feel like he would get it.

the lakes - he would love the lakes and just this idea of loving someone like this. “take me to the lakes where are all the poets went to die”. this is his song.

marjorie - i feel like he would appreciate that taylor used her grandmothers vocals for this. i feel like he’s more in it for the genius behind her lyrics.

delicate - he lacks understanding of social cues often. “i know that it’s delicate”. he would eat this song up.

glitch - he would get this song in ways i can’t even describe. he would love the beat. his vibes fr.

no body, no crime - a story based song. he would think about this all the time.

lover - idk a reason i just think he’d really enjoy this song.

Patton

never grow up - he’s like a dad. so. watching his kids grow up. it would destroy him.

invisible string - i feel like he would love the idea of the string of fate. he would like the idea that he was just supposed to know these people.

you’re on your own kid - he would feel the pressure of just being on his own and feeling the pressure of being the moral compass.

state of grace - he feels like everyone is the “worth while fight”. yeah you know what i’m saying.

ivy - “you pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand” THE CARETAKER AGAIN

Me! - listen i know it’s not everyone’s favorite but this makes so much sense. the bright colors. the message of the song. the whole thing screams patton.

long live - he would think it’s a really sweet song. he adores the whole message and just how sweet it is. the nostalgia aspect. yeah.

love story - if anyone was getting this song it would be patton. queue the scene of richie from the bear where he is singing this in the car. that’s pat.

Virgil

electric touch - this is so in your face obvious. of course virgil would love the song with fob on it.

clean - i feel like he would relate to this. he’s finally not an “other side” and he’s just virgil. but he sometimes still misses them.

today was a fairytale - i feel like he would be unapologetically a fearless fan. he’s more of a hopeless romantic than i’m willing to admit. it’s so prinxiety coded idk.

closure - idk just very like “other sides apologize” to virgil. (i believe firmly in sympathetic other sides but i think virgil would struggle for a bit to forgive them)

my tears ricochet - “an i can go anywhere i want, anywhere i want just not home.” home was confusing for a bit. where did he belong? yk?

afterglow - the bridge sounds like asking for reassurance during a panic attack. he would love this song.

the lucky one - he for a bit thought that he was the lucky one but realized that all the sides are messy and no one is perfect.

new year’s day - this is so analogince and it would remind him of his boyfriends. he would pick up bottles with them on new year’s day.

holy shit this is getting long. i’m sorry.

Janus

mastermind - he is so this song. he would love this song. he masterminds everything so i just know he would adore this song.

foolish one - i don’t know but i feel like he would love this song in a way no one can understand.

bigger than the whole sky - he probably feels remorse for all he did to roman. maybe he’s saying goodbye to the possibility of friendship? i don’t know but he would like this song.

you’re losing me - i really don’t have explanations for all these. i feel like janus angst always. he would like how this songs has a lot of self blaming.

bad blood - he has beef with a lot of people. i think he would enjoy this song ironically at first. then he didn’t.

so it goes - he is rocking out to this in his room. i just know it in my heart and soul and it makes me nuts.

dear reader - “if it feels like a trap, you’re already in one” this just feels like janus’ internal monologue. all the contradictions feels like deceit. yeah.

cowboy like me - he just wants someone to want the things he wants. he loves this song. it makes sense in his head.

Remus

cruel summer - he would love the beat. he could and would shake ass to this song.

getaway car - i think he’d endorse the message of this song and think it’s a lot of fun.

cardigan - he comes out when people are bored of roman. he definitely struggled being pushed aside so he likes cardigan a lot.

the way i loved you - he would love the idea that even after fighting with someone an insane amount you can still miss them.

i don’t have anything else for remus. i hope this makes sense. if not i apologize. if you think of anything else for remus let me know. i am just slightly nuts about taylor swift.

#i’m just nuts about taylor swift #roman sanders #tss roman #logan sanders #thomas sanders #sanders sides headcanons #taylor swift #tss logan #tss patton #tss remus #tss janus #all the sides

[horsetailcurlers2]

YET ANOTHER long and obnoxious stream of my thoughts while watching greys anatomy for the first time (S19 bc i’m finally caught up, babey!!!! (phew))

-i hope this new class of residents isn’t as one dimensional as the last one

-“you say please to bhokee!” hell yeah you do schmitt. (i love that she did say please he was just so ready to jump down her throat about it lmoa)

-DEREK’S NEPHEW ?????!!! WHICH SISTER? my money is on nancy bc i always thought she was the oldest so she would have the son old enough to be out of med school

-okay i’m too curious (for some reason i’ve always just been curious about the shepherds) so i’ve gone back to S15E21 (good shepherd) to see if i could get a better look at nancy’s wall of family photos. i see one of nancy with a young curly haired girl, kathleen with a light haired child, and two photos that are just groups of kids. my assumption is that these two are all of nancy’s kids because if she had photos of her nieces and nephews i feel like they would include their parents. both photos show two boys and two girls. it looks like the same four kids just at two different ages. the oldest (or at least the tallest) in both photos is a boy with dark hair. this may support my theory that nancy is lucas’s mother. the rest of the photos aren’t very clear. the only thing is that all of the kids look very fair and lucas is not. they also clearly wrote this episode way after they shot the scene with amelia looking at the photos so they may have not even bothered with details that were meant to be sort of irrelevant at the time.

-okay this is a very tragic story with (griffin??? griffith??) and makes her lateness and weirdness understandable but am i the only one who thinks it’s insanely bizarre to be sharing your tragic life story to your superior on your first day?

-idk about this season yet. i feel them trying to sort of mirror season one in some ways, focusing more on the interns (which i think i like), trying to connect back to old characters, but it feels a *little* forced so far

-i like mean and snappy teddy

-have we ever seen this library before?

-“i tried to implement similar changes at various times and was always met with resistance” ???? when did bailey try to implement those changes to the residency program? she implemented changes but they for sure weren’t these ones

-why is it better for them to think he’s sleeping with her????? jfc lucas

-ADDISON LOOKS SO HOT. i like this costuming for her. very reminiscent of her private practice wardrobe

-i really like baileys braids this season btw. and i like that she has a special scrub cap that can cover them all

-lucas’s dad is from barbados. idk what to do with that but it is another clue lmao. if nothing else, i’m hooked on this season just to find out who his mother is

-no comment on the dancing

-helm looks really cute as a bartender

-owen when teddy isn’t super happy and content with him after he fucked them over and put their children’s well-beings at risk: 😯

-addison and tom should have met

-oh my god just tell them you’re a nepo baby!! they think you’re fucking your aunt!

-it made complete sense to bring addison back for this storyline. i hope they explore it a little more and keep bringing her back.

-i’m so confused about lucas’s whole complex. wouldn’t he have grown up with his dad’s last name anyway? why has this been an issue “all his life”??? and until he went to med school i doubt anybody even knew the significance of him being a shepherd

-what planet is owen living on where he thinks they would let him be chief again rn

-i can see myself shipping mike chang and mary queen of scots once they develop their characters a bit more. simone and lucas i like in theory but idk about the chemistry

-“i am not going to beg you to love me” good meredith bc that didn’t work out so well the first time u did it

-intern house is back!!! i really like that actually

-a full time administrative assistant is completely reasonable. richard had patricia when he was chief

-looking very hot for having just been hit by a car

-winston definitely had a point at first but at this point he’s pissing me off. it’s reminding me of that big meredith and cristina fight in the sense that it feels like he’s deliberately taking everything she’s doing and saying in the worst possible way.

-richard and addison’s dynamic is so underrated

-this is incredibly random but it just popped into my head. it’s so weird that amelia has never brought up her friend michelle on greys. you know, her friend from pp that committed suicide bc she had huntingtons which ultimately kickstarted amelia’s relapse. i feel like it could have been relevant to a few cases

-pru is so fucking cute

-so many people keep leaving i don’t really have a reaction to it anymore. but i will very much miss maggie. ik a lot of people don’t like maggie (prob bc they thought she was trying to fill the spaces that lexi and cristina left behind) but i really liked her. i think i found her very relatable in a lot of ways. even/especially when she was a little annoying lol

-why is this guy specifically requesting bailey? (not that she’s not great at her job it just has suspicious vibes) is he one of the anti choice harassers? nervous for that especially since addison is here so i feel like it will be about that storyline

-jesus christ i knew it. bc it’s so “pro life” to threaten a child!!!!!! go kwan though. and teddy!

-JUJU!!!

-yasuda x helm <3

-cristina mention !!!!

-i really like that there’s no intern/attending relationships lately

-i’m doubling down on thinking lucas is nancy’s bc i think if he has adhd, kathleen likely would have noticed bc she’s a psychologist. obviously it’s possible she wouldn’t have, everyone has blind spots but i think this makes the most sense still. and ik he could still be liz’s but i’m still unsure on if the ages work out and i think they were banking on which actress would be more likely to make an appearance later on and neve campbell is less likely to come back than the others.

-uggh why do i HATE simone’s wedding dress.

-omg i’m a terrible person i didn’t realize it was her late mother’s. i’m so sorry the fit of it just looks off

-i wonder how they’re going to ruin/derail this wedding? they’ve already done leaving at the altar, objections, elopements. maybe the twist is that she actually goes through with it?? or they’ll just be boring and so the same thing they’ve done before

-i like that they still call it “joe’s” even though we never see joe anymore

-winston is getting on my nerves. he always starts off having a point and then he gets all immature and petty about it

-dude that is not how a DNR works

-aww yay for bailey

-side note amelia looks great

-TEDDY!!!

#greys anatomy #you guys this was a lot but i did it #i didn’t watch the latest ep of season 20 but other than that i’m all caught up #i’d like to thank my agoraphobia and my unemployment for making it possible for me to have watched this much television #on my knees praying to any deity that addison shows up in s20 but it seems unlikely #i don’t even like the shoe anymore i just don’t want to give up now lmao #meredith grey #teddy altman #addison montgomery #amelia shepherd #these are all tagged under #greys reactions

[spacelizzbian]

Ahsoka s1ep7

That guy be like: false Jedi? Witches?? Space whales??? In my star wars?¿?¿? Unheard of.

Respectfully, please stop wasting precious time from these last two eps on this new republic nonsense 😭

Omg please let it be an audio recording of Leia saying "fuck off" in pg way

Do you think Carrie Fisher would've been on this show as a cameo if she could? Would've loved to see her say fuck off (in a pg way)

You can tell Ahsoka hasn't put these recordings on in forever...the little bow?

She be healing 🥺

I also like the tone Ahsoka used in "he was a great master" cause you get the sense that she mourns for him.

Idk I think that's a neat way of her moving forward regarding her feelings on Anakin/Vader (though I still wish they acknowledged it more in ep 5 but I'm still chewing on my thoughts on that whole episode)

Ahsoka really out there pretending she doesn't give a shit if they're in the wrong galaxy lmaooo such a troll, I love her

NO ARE THEY SHOOTING THE WHALES?!?!

NO STOP NOOOOOO

IF I SEE A WHALE DIE I WILL CRY I LOVE WHALES SO MUCH

The relief I felt when they all jumped thank god

Poor Morgan, she's so aware of the nonsense the good guys get away with when defeating their foes but she comes off so paranoid in universe. Doomed by knowledge of star wars' silly narrative quirks 😔

"Put her on a path of her own choosing so that no matter what direction she takes, we'll always be one step ahead of her"

That makes no sense

Just cause Thrawn says it and it's briliantly acted does not mean that was sound logic 💀

Huyang is me, I too find it bs that they sensed Ahsoka coming for their asses via space whale

Love how Ahsoka and Thrawn are out here playing 3D chess while Sabine and Ezra are just vibing in these big pods lmao

"The emperor died" "that's what people say"

Ahaha don't remind me of that, I will start biting

Omg Sabine being so offended and Ezra being so confused has me in stictches haha

Same bro, wish they showed us how exactly that happened

Fellars, when she says "it's complicated" she means "I saw my master get murdered before my very eyes and disregarded the last thing she said to me all in a desperate move to find you"

WTF WAS THAT SHOT TO THE SCARY WITCH RIGHT AFTER AHSOKA IS LIKE "I SEE HER" 💀💀

Sabine upon seeing Shin and Baylan: "NYO" 😡

Baylan, tf do you mean Shin's path leads her in a different direction?!?! All I've gathered from the 5 lines of dialogue she was allowed is that she wants to be on top, secure.

She did not seem too keen on joining the witches and sees the Empire as a means to an end. What's stopping her from just outright joining the new republic if you leave her on her own?! Seemingly the only thing stopping her was her connection to you and your teachings, ya dingus.

I like this show, but this makes no sense for the characters they've set up, why wouldn't he take her with him so they can both wield the ancient superweapon?? 🙃

Wait. The raiders in this whole different galaxy shoot normal ass blasterfire?¿?¿?

Come on, that's so boring

(They do look cool if not like normal star wars bounty hunter types)

Huyang is such a little shit, honestly his banter with Ahsoka has been one of the highlights of this show for me. Especially now that Ahsoka seems to have regained some of her original snark spark

DEAD ASS

Ahsoka dropping out of that ship RIGHT where Baylan is, IS THE FUNNIEST SHIT 😭

He really be like "huh, was sure I killed you 🤔"

"The Force is my ally, it's all I need" very Jedi of him, Kanan would be so proud

That shot of the hermit alien headbutting a raider with a pot is my fav thing ever

Yooooooo, seeing the saber actually lose some of its form when being pushed back with the force was sick

That piano 👌

Did Huyang just know Ahsoka was in trouble and instinctively thought "guess I'll shoot flares at her" 💀

Ahsoka is riding a space wolf, Filoni can finally rest

Sabine getting flipped was such a funny shot

Fight choreo go weeeeeeeee

Ok this guy really embodies Ezra well, this is EXACTLY how he would bs his way outta this pickle lmao

Props to Shin, if I saw Ahsoka barreling in like that smirking like a real psycho I'd have noped the fucke outta there instantly

Did Ahsoka just kick a hand that was swinging a lightsaber at her?!?!?

Truely deranged behaviour, pop off queen 😌

Why did Thrawn have a whole ass ppt prepared 😂

Ah yes, time, the thing I feel like this whole show did not know how to spend correctly

I can feel this season ending on a cliffhanger, I don't even know if a second season was announced beforehand but ain't no way all of this is concluding satisfyingly in one more ep

Ahsoka seeing Shin looking like a wet stray cat and going pspspsps is so her

Not Ahsoka being 110% aware she must be immortal or smth and using that knowledge for trolling 😂💀

That was such a good hug omg

And the laugh?!? I dont think she's laughed since rebels 🥺😭

#ahsoka #ezra bridger #sabine wren #shin hati #baylan skoll #ashowka #ahsoka spoilers #ahsoka series spoilers #long post #sw #star wars