#‘they’re gonna get cancelled over this’ ok. I guess this is just thinning out the people who were real fans and who where fake fans

[foxgloveinspace]

People jumping ship cause of the new masks is very ahhhh. Telling. Tbh.

#very much so #tell me you where only here cause of the looks without telling me your only here cause of the looks #listen. I miss the old masks already too. that’s not the point. #you can mourn for something without that taking away your joy for it. #‘it’s all moving so fast’ iii has been turning red since July. #‘they’re evolving too fast’ or we just got here later then others. #‘I can’t even listen anymore’ sucks to be you. the music that has been put out hasn’t changed so I don’t understand this one #‘they’re gonna get cancelled over this’ ok. I guess this is just thinning out the people who were real fans and who where fake fans #I’m gonna be a sleep token fan til the end. if this is the way they want their image to go? I’ll follow. if we get heavier music next? #sounds fucking amazing to me. (I listen to heavier stuff anyway). #idk I just think it’s so so so fucking telling. that if your jumping ship cause their Live Performance Aesthetic has changed… you didn’t #mean it when you said sleep token was important to you. #like I’m 100% MOURNING the old masks. I am BMO with Finn’s old hair sobbing about the old masks. #but I know this too shall pass #this is how I fucking felt about Vessel’s mask change #and to everyone going ‘what about Vessel and the Chior!’ #1). VESSEL HAD A MASK CHANGE EARLIER THIS YEAR!!! he isn’t gonna change masks again so fast those fuckers r expensive! #2). the choir did have a change?? they wherent wearing robes at all and where in body chains they looked amazing #I get we are all neurodiverse and hate change but take a deep breath before you renounce all your sleep token love #I’m guessing Vessel will get a new mask in April again. for the kick off show. #tonight was a closing show. and he didn’t FEEL GOOD. I wouldn’t be surprised that if he was gonna do something with a new mask #if he pushed it back because he didn’t feel good. #he performed a whole show while we could TELL his throat was hurting. fuck. #I want to wrap him up in a warm hug and give him hot water with honey in it. #idk I’m rambling. it’s just telling.

[i-write-newsies]

A/N:

(Y/N) - Your Name

(L/N) - Last Name

(N/N) - Nickname

(H/C) - Hair Color

(D/N) - DEEZ NUTS!! /j Deadname

(E/C) - Eye Color

(H/L) - Hair Length

(Y/A) - Your Age

Ships Included:

- Jack x Davey

- Spot x Race

- Finch x Smalls (Platonic)

- Albert x Elmer

-Katherine x Sarah

- Spot x Reader (Brotherly Platonic)

- Race x Reader (Brotherly Platonic)

Summary:

You have always dreamed of living in the world of your favorite characters, to escape from whatever rotten life you have and make friends with the people you love. One day, fate decides to give you a chance. But when you're not prepared to be rushed into that universe, it becomes a roller coaster of balancing good and bad emotions and events.

Good luck, Reader!

!!TW!!

~ SELF HARM

~ TRANSPHOBIA

~ MAJOR INJURY

~ ABUSE

~ ARGUING

(Y/N) POV:

I'm (Y/N) (L/N). I'm (Y/A) with (E/C) eyes and (H/L) (H/C) hair. At least it used to be (H/L). I cut it all off today. I can tell my mom just found out because of the loud cursing and stomping. "GODDAMMIT, (D/N)!!" she yells. What scares me the most about this situation is the fact that I'm kinda used to this. I hear her coming up the stairs to my room and rush to the door and lock it. As expected, the door handle starts rattling violently, "(D/N) YOU LET ME IN RIGHT NOW, YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE SH!T!" She starts banging on the door, stressing the lock.

I sigh. Today was one of the worse days. I slip on my noise-canceling headphones and press play on my musicals playlist, consisting of:

- Waving Through A Window

- On My Own

- A Little Fall Of Rain

- Angel of Music

and of course...

The entire Newsies soundtrack.

By the time I get to 'Seize the Day', it's twilight outside. I lift one of my headphones to check if my mom is gone. I hear nothing. I look out the window and don't see her car. Perfect.

Unplugging my headphones and letting the music play, I walk over to my dresser, open it up, and reach deep in the back. Aha!

I pull out some bandages (A/N: DO NOT ACTUALLY BIND LIKE THIS OK BYE). I take off my shirt and try not to look in my mirror, fearing what sort of feminine body I may see. I start wrapping my chest to the point that it gets a little hard to breathe. This kinda hurts, but my dysphoria is stronger than my need for comfort and, let's be honest, safety.

Slipping my shirt back on, I look into the mirror and smile, satisfied with my flat chest and somewhat choppy short, (H/C) hair. I jump onto my bed and plug my headphones back into my phone which is now playing Santa Fe. Santa Fe honestly makes me think. I'm only, what, (Y/A)? And I still go through all this BS. I need out. Somewhere my mom can't tell me I'm female. Somewhere like...Newsies. I mean, Race is canonically trans, right? Not to mention all of them are definitely fruity. They'd accept me. The fresh, bandaged cuts on my arms are the only things keeping me in reality right now

As the song ends, I realize that I've been crying. God, why am I stuck in this wretched place? The question as well as thoughts of Newsies reverberates in my skull, a sort of white noise until I fall into a much-needed sleep.

"Aye, kid! Watcha doin sleepin on the street?"

"Especially in a place this..."

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Jack POV:

I yawn, rubbing sleep from my eyes as the circulation bell drones on an' on. I let my eyes adjust to the view of the sunrise from my penthouse in the sky.

As I try to get up to get ready, a pair of arms drag me back down. "Jackieeee" a half-awake Davey groans, "come back down, it's freezing up here." "Dave, we gotta get to work. The boys can always count on me being at the gates early, so if you don't get up, I'm leaving you behind." This seems to wake him up a little more, "Alright, alright fine." he shivers as he gets up. I throw him his top shirt and vest and he desperately claws them on to gain warmth. Carefully, we climb down the ladder.

"What'd I tell ya, Dave? Even in the middle of summer, the night's always freezing." Davey rolls his eyes and does a little shiver "I know, Jackie, now c'mere and warm me up" I grin and move in closer, holding his hand, as we start walking to the gates. "Still not warm enough!" Davey said in a singsong-ish voice. I sigh and feign annoyance, leaning in to give a short but sweet peck on the lips. I think he's satisfied now. We're not usually this lovey-dovey, but I think we're both touch starved and subtly begging for a hug.

Davey, being the amazing boyfriend he is, stops by Jacobis to get us some breakfast. "Dave, you really don't hafta-" "I insist, Jack. After all, breakfast is the most important meal of the day," he says in an almost snobbish voice. I give him a small smile. That's my smartass Dave.

As we get to the gates, I notice a small figure leaned up against it. By now, the sun has come up some more over Manhattan 'n Dave 'n I don't have to walk as close to warm ourselves up. The figure seems to be sleeping, a newsies cap over their eyes. I think it's a kid. Maybe a new newsie looking for work?

I crouch down in front of him lift his hat, and start tapping his shoulder, "Aye, kid! Watcha doin sleepin on the street?" "Especially in a place this..." Davey notes. The kid seems to wake with a start. He rubs his eyes, and I chuckle a little "Whatsa matter? Ya look like youse seen a ghost." He doesn't seem to find this funny and repeatedly switches from looking at me then Davey with some confusion and shock in his eyes.

"I um-" he stutters over his words, "Aye, aye, kid, calm down, you ain't in trouble or nuttin." He takes a few deep breaths. "Okay... I'm (Y/N). I'm just freaking out because This isn't where I fell asleep, and- and I just- feel like I know you..." "Well, (Y/N) it sounds like you're one of da Newsies now," I say with a grin, "Now, we gots ta give you a nickname, we rarely eva call someone by their real name, 'cept Dave 'n Albert of course," The kid stays silent, clearly still shocked from waking up in a foreign place. "I feel like I know you.." he says, barely discernible. "Maybe ya do, maybe ya don't, Dave here's the only one good with faces." The kid looks up at Davey, who seems deep in thought, "(N/N)" he exclaims, "Ah, sorry, what I meant was your nickname should be (N/N)!" "I like it! But why (N/N) exactly?" I question, "Well, *insert reason why here*" "Well ain't you a clever boy, Dave!" I say, ruffling his hair. Davey shies away, "Jack! Now I have to fix my hair!" he complains, "Sorry, sorry." Davey then leaves to fix his hair in front of a shop window nearby, leaving me and (N/N) alone.

(N/N) seems to want to say something, but as soon as he opens his mouth, he shuts it just as quickly. I try to fill the awkward silence, "So, what's wit' da bandages, kiddo?" He freezes, "Nothing, just a ploy to get people to buy more papes..." he trails off. I have a feelin' he's not tellin' the truth, but I go along with it anyway, "Ha! What an idea, I wonder how I neva thought a' that before." he smiles, seeming satisfied with the praise. Davey returns from the shop window, "Alright! Ready to start the day?" (N/N) nods, and so do I.

Newsies start gathering, some glancing at (N/N) and some anxiously peering through the gates. I look at the headline for today: New Newsie Price! "Aye, Dave, you seein' this shit?" "Language- and yeah... what in the world was runnin' through Pulitzer's head when he thought of this??" I look at (N/N), whose mouth is a thin, pale line but whose (E/C) eyes are glinting with determination. "Heh, kid, what's that look for?" He looks at me, a little startled, but quickly regains that same tough expression, "I have a feeling that this ain't some silly little joke. And I'm worried 'bout the kids that may get hurt in the crossfire." I laugh, "Youse just bein dramatic! Surely, they wouldn't be as dumb as to underpay their own employees." I walk over to Weasel and slap down a penny "100 papes please!" "That's gonna be dime, Kelly."

My heart almost stops, and it takes all my strength not to break down in front of the boys. I fake a laugh, "Surely you're joking." "100 papes costs a dime, take a look at the headline." I hit the money box out of anger, "Then we'll just take our business to Brooklyn." Someone pipes up, "The same thing's happenin' there." "Then we'll go to Rushing!" Specs jogs over, seemingly out of breath, "I'll save ya the walk; it's the same everywhere."

Fuck.

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Y/N POV:

A sharp pain in my chest temporarily distracts me from the situation at hand. Ah. I almost forgot. I still have to bind. This sucks. I feel a pair of eyes on me and turn just in time to see Racetrack Higgins avert his eyes. I give him a confused look and turn back to Jack singing "The World Will Know" I forget all about his weird staring and get back into the determined beat from before.

Soon, the newsies and I make our way to Jacobis for some...water I guess? I do happen to have some extra money in my pocket so I think I can treat all the boys to some seltzer. I sit down on a hard wooden chair in a slouch. The room is buzzing with excited talk of the strike. I give a small, sad smile. These boys have no idea what they're getting themselves into. Crutchie sits next to me serving a wide smile just as Jacobi enters with a tray full of waters, "And here's one for you, and for you, and for you- who's the big spender that ordered everyone seltzer?" shyly, I raise my hand, "That's me, sir." "You know these cost a quarter each, right?" I pull out a handful of quarters with a cheeky smile "and I got more where that came from." The boys go wild, "Where did ya get all that money, kid??" Davey, being the concerned mom, asks "Please tell me you didn't steal that." I shake my head, "I used to live comfortably, but my mom kicked me out for...reasons." my grin falters for a second, but no one seems to notice.

"Well!" Jack stands on a table, "Here's to the strike! And, of course, (N/N)" He gestures towards me with a wink as everyone cheers. As Katherine enters, I start to zone out and stare at a speck of dust on the ground. After all, I know the plot all too well. I perk up, though, as soon as Jack asks who's goin' to Brooklyn. My hand shoots up, "I nominate me and Race!" I exclaim. I look over at Race, who's staring at me, blushing and jaw dropped a little. I grin at him and look back at Jack, who's a little shocked. "A-alright! Me and Dave'll take the Bronx, I guess."

*Timeskip to after the restaurant scene*

I walk down the Manhatten alleys blindly, no clue where I'm going, when I hear someone come up behind me. "Hey, (N/N)! It's me, Race." I smile weakly, "Oh, hey." "I always sell my papes at Sheepshead in Brooklyn, so I know where to go."

It's almost completely silent except for the clicking of our shoes on the paved roads. "So... how'd ya get here as a Newsie, (N/N)?" "Well, Jack 'n Davey found me sleepin' on the street just this mornin'" He laughs, "Wow! So you got used to the Newsie life real quick!" "Yeah, I did.." I let out a small chuckle as well. Race pulls out a cigar and clamps it between his lips and goes to light it but hesitates. "Uh- Wanna cigar?" "Wow, Racetrack Higgins giving me one of his own cigars? I'm flattered!" I joke, "But, yeah, I need smoke." He digs into his pocket and hands me another cigar, "You eva' smoked before?" he stares at me as I put the cigar in between my lips. I grin sheepishly, "No." "Okay, maybe we should stop for a second. Coughing while walking ain't the most fun thing in the woild."

We lean up against a wall as Race lights first his, then my cigar. I inhale and immediately spiral into a coughing fit. Race smacks my back, "You good, (N/N)? I ain't neva' seen a fella cough that hard on the first puff." I roll my tear-filled eyes and continue coughing.

Once my coughing fit subsides, I feel a wave of relaxation. "God I should do this more often." I groan, Race grins, "Yeah, once you get past the whole blowin'-your-brains-out part of smokin', it's real nice. Anyway, shall we continue?" he gestures to the streets ahead. I nod my head and take another puff, "Yeah, it's gettin' kinda late and we do NOT wanna wake up the Spot Conlon." Race nods in agreement and we hurry along. Even though I know Spot is kind of a softie, that doesn't stop me from being intimidated by his prowess.

We reach the Brooklyn lodging just as Race's cigar burned out. Race takes a deep breath and gives three solid knocks on the door. A kid younger than me answers the door, "State ya business" "I'm here to let Conlon know about some very important news." The kid squints his eyes but responds "I'll ask him if he's willing to meet with anyone right now. Who should I tell him is askin'?" "Race. Higgins." He says somewhat awkwardly.

The kid closes the door. Race and I stand quietly waiting for the OK to see Spot. Suddenly the door swings open to reveal Spot. "Ra-" he notices me and coughs, "I mean- Higgins, would you like to step in to discuss the important news?" I almost laugh at the way he went from totally in love to distinguished gentleman. I shoo them away, holding in laughter, "don't worry, I'll wait out here and give you lovebirds some space." (A/N: or should I say sprace) I see them both go tomato red.

I sigh as they head inside. I take a drag from the cigar and start thinking. How did I end up in the newsies universe and act this calm about it? This feels so surreal. But I want to stay here forever. Far away from my sh!tty mom and all my responsibilities.

Lost in my own head, I barely notice as Racetrack storms out of the lodging, clearly pissed. "C'mon (N/N), we're leaving." he grabs my hand and angrily powerwalks to the next street over. Once we're there, he lets go of my hand and sighs harshly, walking slow. "I assume it didn't go well?" I ask, already knowing the answer. "Not. Well." "Wanna talk about it?" he shakes his head and starts walking "No, thanks. I think we's better get to bed before Jack gets worried." he stops. "Do you have a place to sleep?" I look down, "Not really..." "Well!" he grabs my hand again with a big grin, "Looks like youse bunkin' wit' me." I start to protest, but realize it'd get me nowhere with this stubborn SOB, so I let myself get dragged along. Oh, well. I might as well get rest for the strike tomorrow, goodness knows I need it.

As I settle down into the rough sheets, the gentle snoring rocks me to sleep with thoughts of the strike. One thought flashes through my mind before I fall asleep; God help us all.

I wake up to someone poking my face. My eyes flutter open and I almost fall off the bunk at the sight of Race's face right in front of mine. "JESUS CHRIST, RACE, YOU SCARED THE SH!T OUTTA ME!" He backs off, putting his hands up in surrender, "Sorry, sorry, it's just that Jack said you had to be up and out in 10 minutes so we can have an organized strike or whateva'" Race rolls his eyes, "I'm startin' ta think that Davey's rubbin' off on 'im a lil' too much."

I groan, tempted to slide back under the covers, but get up anyway. I slept with my clothes on so I don't have to do anything about that. As I look into an old, rusted mirror and comb my fingers through my now tangled hair, I feel another sharp pain in my chest, accompanied by a dull throbbing. I really should have taken off the bandages while I slept, but now it's too late. I take one last look in the mirror and, ignoring my eyebags, quickly head out the door to join the others. As I get to the gate, everyone's waiting with anticipation, faces grim but hopeful.

Everything happens in a blur. One moment we're striking, and the next we're beaten into a pulp. I manage to soak a Delancey in the eye when suddenly a familiar sharp pain fills my chest and wince, faltering. Morris takes this as an opportunity to knee me in the stomach, forcing me to the ground, where their take turns kicking my chest and body with those damn steel-toed boots of theirs until my clothes are torn and the cuts on my arms reopen. Suddenly, there's a small crack as my body swells up with pain and the taste of metal enters my mouth. I let out a blood-curdling scream as the pain registers in my brain. In my blurred vision, I see the Delancey's walk away, ready to torture their next victim; Crutchie.

I try to get up and reach out, try to scream at them not to hurt him, but all I can do is weakly move my hand in their direction and spit out blood. Suddenly, a small but rough hand reaches out and drags me into an alley. "Dammit, (N/N) what were you thinking?! Fighting in a gawddamn binder, and a makeshift one, no less!" "R-..Race..?" "Not now, (N/N) I have ta get youse to safety foist." I watch as he chews on his nails in thought, "Dammit! The only way back to tha lodge is through the Delancey's again!" He sighs. "Brooklyn it is..." He gingerly picks me up and carries me as fast as possible to Spot's turf.

Setting my feet on the ground and propping me up against him, he bangs on the door. "Spot!" Please! This is serious, I need your help!" I can hear the tears in his voice. Spot flings open the door, obviously very concerned. He's confused for a second, then looks at me and his eyes go wide. "GET THE MED KIT AND A COT OPEN, WESE GOT SOMETHING HORRIBLE THAT'S HAPPENED" he yells behind him. Race, now more calmed down, takes me in his arms again, but seems to refuse to look at Spot, who looks away as well, but more in shame.

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Race POV:

I watch as some of the Brooklyn newsies take (N/N) and lay him on a cot, anger surging through my veins. I take a deep breath "I'll take care of him. You guys don't have to worry about it." As they leave the room, I look down at (N/N) and can't help but feel guilty. Like this is my fault. I only got away with a black eye, but he got all this?

I regain my composure and start by taking (N/N) shirt off. I can already see the bruises starting to form and cringe. I take off his binding bandages and see his chest expand immediately. Poor kid. He must have been hurting in more way that just one. I take the gauze from the wooden box and gently wrap his torso with it. Maneuvering around his arms, I notice something. The bandages on him arms. When he was wearing them before, Jack said it was a marketing ploy, but now I see red bleeding through the white gauze.

I unwrap (N/N)'s arms and gasp. Hundreds of tiny, but deep cuts litter his forearms and wrists. F#ck. He was hurting so much more than I could have ever known. I wrap them with fresh gauze and treat the rest of his wounds, stepping back to admire my handiwork. That's when I start to cry. Full-on tears falling, face in hands crocodile tears. I turn my head with a start to see Spot, standing over me with a hand on my shoulder, looking apologetic "I'm so sorry..." Suddenly this sadness turns to rage. I grab him by the shirt collar and drag him outside to an empty alleyway. "SORRY?? SORRY, MY 4SS! (N/N) AND SO MANY OTHER 'HATTEN NEWSIES ALMOST DIED OUT THERE BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T WANT TO JOIN UNTIL YOU KNEW WE WOULDN'T "CAVE" WELL, WE DIDN'T CAVE, AND LOOK WHAT F#CKING HAPPENED! AND DONT YOU SAY SORRY TO ME AND EXPECT ME TO FORGIVE YOU JUST BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, THAT'S FOR CROW TO DECIDE." Spot seemed silent at first, but now I could see his anger building up; "WADDAYA THINK WOULD O' HAPPENED TO MY BOYS, HUH?? I WANTED TO WAIT TO SEE IF WE WOULD BE THE ONLY ONES FIGHTIN IN THIS BATTLE AGAINST PULITZER."

I open my mouth then close it. He has a fair point, but doesn't he trust me and the udda newsies not to bail in their hour of need? I sigh, pinching my nose. "I'm sorry Spot, I just-... I just wish you trusted me a bit more..." I look up at him to see tears in his eyes. "OH, SPOT HONEY, ITS OKAY, I'M NOT MAD, DON'T CRY, DON'T CRY" I shush him, pulling his head into my chest, which isn't tough considering his height.

As he lets go, the adrenaline rush from today dies down. God, I'm so tired. My knees nearly buckle and Spot notices, "Aye, aye! Tony, you doin' okay?" I nod at him, but the bags under my eyes are making them droop, "Race, honey, you need to get some sleep, okay?" I shake my head but soon fall into Spot's arms as my legs give way. "Fine..." I mumble. I can feel him grinning, "Good, we gots an extra bed for youse to sleep in." I sigh, grateful. I can feel Spot picking me up, the rhythm of his boots tapping along the ground, a pause and shift as he opens the lodging door and kicks it closed behind him as I fall asleep.

I wake up in a cold sweat. (N/N). I need to see (N/N). I need to check if he's okay. I climb out of the bed Spot laid me in and let my eyes adjust to the dark before maneuvering around all the other sleeping kids. I make my way as quietly as possible to where (N/N) is resting. I crouch down and take his hand in mine. How could I let this happen? And how did I not notice his suffering? I press the back of his hand to my forehead, closing my eyes. My body is so tired right now, but my mind is too tortured with guilt to let me sleep.

By the time my thoughts finally leave me alone, the sun is rising in the sky. I'm finally drifting when- "Race?" I turn my head to the voice, "Oh, jesus, you look horrible!" Spot exclaims, "did you even get any sleep last night?" I shrug, to be fair, I lost count of the hours. Spot sighs, "Race...go sleep. At least for a few more hours. I can watch (N/N) if that makes you happy," I nod, rubbing my eyes. I stumble back to my bed amongst all the Brooklyn newsies and fall asleep the moment my head hits the pillow.

My mind dreams of talkin' cigars and bloody bandages. I see Crow propped up against the wall, smokin' a cigar. "(N/N)! (N/N)! Oh my god, I'm so happy that you're okay!" (N/N) doesn't answer, I slowly starts walking towards him, "(N/N)...?" he starts laughing. Softly at first then roaring, and the laughing turns into a heavy coughing fit. As (N/N) coughs, red smoke pours out of his lungs and clouds my vision. I swipe at the air, trying to brush away the fog, "(N/N)?? (N/N), where did you go?!" suddenly, the smoke clears and I see (N/N) bruised, damaged, bleeding body at my feet, I gasp and step back. (N/N) slowly turns to face me, and in a painful, teary, almost sickly whisper asks, "Why did you let this happen?" Tears start spilling down my face, "I- I didn't me-" "You did this to me Race. Race. Race. Race! Race! RACE! RACE!--

Spot POV:

--RACE WAKE UP!" He wakes up with a gasp. He looks around wildly, tears dripping from his chin. I've never seen him like this. He must care for him like a brudda. To be honest, I'm worried as well, not only about (N/N) but now that we know 'Hatten isn't gonna back down and we join the fight, what's gonna happen to the newsies in general? Kids could get hoit. Bad.

"Spot?" Race starts sobbing, clinging to my shirt fabric, "Please...tell me it'll be okay..." I can't. Race, I don't know if it will. I almost start sobbing on the Spot ( A/N: heh...), but I hold my composure and smile at him, "It'll be okay, Tony...we're all gonna be fine" He seems to believe this, at least a little bit. "Now, don't you gotta meet up wit' da udda newsies?" He retracts his head from my chest, eyes wide. In a nasal voice, he goes "AW SHOOT, I 'MOST FORGOT" I watch him with a small smile as he rushes to get dressed like the goof he is. God, I love 'im.

Race POV:

Silence. I got there too early. Fuck. I can't just be alone with my thoughts, but at least I have some extra money to... I don't know? I walk up to the bar, where the owner of Jacobi's is cleaning out glasses. I sigh and sit down, "Got anything to help forget? At least for a little while...?"

"Ain't you a little too young for that, kid?" I give him a look and push my money over the counter to him. He quietly collects it, "So what can I get ya?" I'm silent for a bit "Fireball." I say with some demand in my voice. He disappears behind the counter and comes back with some shot glasses and a Fireball bottle, pouring it out into the glasses as I watch. I notice as he sighs, "Feel betta, kid." Can't promise that.

I pick up a shot glass, watching as the orange liquid spins around in it. I take in a breath of spicy cinnamon before letting the liquid slip down my throat, leaving a trail of a burning sensation. Soon, one turns into another, and another, and another and before I could comprehend it, the room starts to spin and blur. Eventually, the room fills with newsies, mumblin' 'bout how crappy the strike went. I do my very best to fit in and not act drunk, but the time zooms by and I find myself singin' 'bout bein' the king o' new york. At some point in the blurry memory, Katherine suggests getting drunk and I throw my hands up and cheer. More free Fireball! But then she clarifies that it was a metaphor, to which I am very disappointed.

The rest whizzes past me and soon I'm stumblin' my way to Brooklyn. I knock heavily on the lodging door, then lean on it. Unexpectedly, the door opens and I'm left to fall flat on my face at the feet of my boyfriend, Spot Conlon. "Race! Darlin', you okay? Youse fell flat on ya face!" He extends a hand that I receive and pulls me up. I giggle, "Ahhhh, my Spotty! Always carin' 'bout uddas. Pshht! Yeah, I'm fiiiine." I flop my hand down to wave off his concern. He wrinkles his nose, "You reek of cinnamon....and alcohol." He widens his eyes and I let out anudda giggle, "Race! Tell me you didn't jus' get drunk!" he whines, I grin, "Okey, 'you didn't jus' get drunk'" I imitate him in a deep voice and he sighs, "Jesus Christ, Racer.." he grabs my hand pulls me inside, eventually laying me on a bed, face red with a giggling fit. "Goodnight, my liege," I giggle some more, "and you my Prince," he gives a small smile before covering me with a blanket. I fall asleep before it's up over my shoulders.

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I wake up with my head feeling like it's going to explode.

Fuck Life.

I groan and sit up. "Mornin' Sleepin' Beauty" Spot smirks and hands me a cup of water, "Shut the fuck up" I whine and grab the glass, "Ooh feelin' feisty today, huh?" I shoot him a look that could rot a squash with one gaze. He holds up his hands in defense, "Alright, alright, my bad," He shrugs. I sigh and take a sip of water, which turns into me chugging the whole thing. "You betta get ova this hangover fast, hon" I groan, not ready to do anything at all today, "We gots the meetin' wit' Jack."

End my life.

"No, I don't think I will," "fuuuuck did I say that out loud?" I let out a small wail, and Spot chuckles a little, though you can tell there's somethin' on his mind still, "Yeah, ya did sweetheart." I grumble something incomprehensible and look down, red. He smiles, "Get dressed and drink as much water as possible, okay? We can't have you hungover for the big meeting, right?" I nod...which causes my head to hurt. Ow.

I sigh and decide to take my sweet time getting dressed. This sucks. "Spotty!" I call, then cringe after a new wave of pain hits, he pokes his head through the door "Yeah?". "I don't have the energy to deal wit' all dese gawddamn bandages. Help me?" He blushes a bit but agrees to help me bind. All I focus on is not hurting my head again. Spot ties the bandages and stands back to admire his handiwork but quickly notices my cringin'. "Do you want somethin' cold?" he asks gently, I nod as gingerly as possible.

*Timeskip to after the newsies meet n greet bcuz I'm power-finishing this at 12am and my mental health is steadily declining*

My hand shakes as I bring a fresh, unlit cigar to my lips.

Jack. That sellout, that traitor.

A sharp pain knocks me out of my angry thoughts. Ah. I burned myself.

I feel a hand on my shoulder, "Racer.." says a gentle voice, "You okay? that's your 3rd cigar in the past 2 hours or so." I look up to see Finch leaning over me as I sit on the ground, a concerned look on his face, "You're gonna run out all too soon" I give a bitter laugh, "Yeah, I guess I will." Finch can see that there's not much he can do to help me. He gives a weak smile and turns to walk away.

I see Davey run off somewhere. I wonder where they're going? I sigh and turn my head back down to the ground. Who cares? Without a leader, the strike'll just fall apart and Pulitzer'll win. Who was I kidding when I bragged abt being da "King o' New York"? I'm just some nobody kid without a nickel to my name. The bigger guys always win, so what's with me tryin'?

Jack POV:

I can't let any more kids get in this much danger. I visited (N/N) today. I found out about all his... injuries, as well as whatever he was born as. He's been through so much before all this, he doesn't deserve it.

It's my fault for being so ignorant. For not noticing anything was goin' on. My fault for inciting this stupid strike. For getting all these kids hoit. and Crutchie...poor Crutchie, locked up in that godawful place. I know he ain't helpless, 'e's a cheeky little bastard, I'll give him that, but the Refuge breaks down even the biggest of smiles and smothers the brightest of people. I will never forget that hell I went through. I went in a cheeky fightin' kid with a deep, strong flame, and came out with the embers barely glowing. It took years just to spark it up again. I'm terrified as to what'll happen to him.

I lean over the railing of my penthouse, not even noticing as it shakes and squeaks, making way for a young boy a little younger den me. "-Jack! JACK!" "Jesus Christ, yeah??? Oh, it's you, Dave..." I look away shamefully, he's probably here to chew me out and tell me we're done and gone. "What the hell was that?" I wince, I knew it. "Waddya mean 'what the hell was that?'?" "You know what I mean, JACK KELLY." I'm fucked. "YOU BETRAYED US FOR MONEY?!" "I WOULDN'T HAVE FELT PRESSURED TO IF I WADN'T DEALIN' WIT' A FLAKER!" Davey gives a bitter laugh and balls up the front of my shirt in his fist, tugging me towards him. "Ohoho! And if I wasn't your 'best friend' you'd be lookin' at me through one swollen eye!" "Oh, yeah? Well, don't let that stop ya, huh? Gimme your best shot!" something soft roughly pressing against my lips. The only thought at the moment is; 'Well, this is new... and passionate, 'specially from Dave' there's a heavy, awkward silence.

I back away from him, knocking over my drawings in the process. One specific drawing rolls out seemingly by fate. It taps on Davey's shoe and he looks down. His eyes widen a little as he reaches down to get it. "Is this.. the Refuge?" he puts a hand over his mouth, "weren't you stuck here once? Rats, cockroaches everywhere, 6 kids to a bunk? Holy fuc- I mean fudge." If the moment weren't this tense, I might've laughed. "Jack..." I feel a hand on my shoulder. "You don't have to tell me if you're not ready." I shake my head and he drops his arm understandingly. "Either way, we could use this. Heck..." Davey seems deep in thought before his face lights up, "We could make our own newspaper!" I look at him in disbelief, he notices, and speaks again "think about it, Jackie! Kath's a real talented writer! This art could change the perspective of hundreds! We could write to tell all the workin' boys to go on Strike tomorra'! And we could expose Snyder in the process!" Hey, that's not too bad..."But, Dave, how're we gonna print it?" His face falls, "I didn't think about it...we're banned from every printin' press in New York.."

Oh no. Ohhh no. "No. Noooo." I whine, Davey chuckles, amused "what?" "I know a printin' press that no one would ever think of!" Davey grins, "Then what are we waitin' for?" He puts my drawing back into the case, and slings it over his shoulder, getting ready to climb down. Suddenly, a thought strikes me, "Wait-" "Yeah?" "Dave- what are we exactly? Like I know how we act to each other n' everything, but we've never really said out loud what we are..." Davey giggles, "Jackie-" "No! Tell me right now, are we... in love? Boyfriends, I guess?? Or am I just something for your own experimentation?"

He cups my face in his hands, "Jackie..." he kisses my nose, "Of course I love you! And yes! We are in love! Dating! Boyfriends! Whichever way you want to define us!" Soon we're both grinning ear-to-ear and blushing. "Now!" he exclaims, hopping up, clearly on a high from the whole kiss and convo, "Let's get to it!" I laugh and stand up as well, following my over-enthusiastic boyfriend down the ladder. As Davey said; Let's get to it!

(Y/N) POV:

'My head hurts...' I think groggily. I try to open my eyes, but my vision is blurred and wonky. I sit up. Nevermind. Everything hurts. As my vision starts to clear, I see a very tired Spot Conlon sitting in a chair in the corner of whatever room I'm in rubbing sleep from his eyes. He fixates his eyes on me for a second, and I can see the sleepiness and confusion in his eyes turn into shock and joy. "(N/N)! Ohmygod! I'm so glad you'se awake!" I can see him go to wrap me in a bear hug before holdin' himself back after he remembers all my injuries. Wait. My injuries. "Does this mean you know about...?" I vaguely gesture to my arms and Spot nods sadly, "And..." I cringe and gesture to my chest, now only lightly bound with medical tape, but tighter than needed for a typical injury. I smile to myself. That must've been Race. He's like a perfect older brother, not only thinkin' about my physical health, but also my mental well-being.

Spot notices the look on my face and sees me lookin' down at my chest, he chuckles, "Yeah, Race decided on that. He wanted you to feel as comfortable as possible while you heal." I start grinning even harder. Spot spoke up again "Don't forget that even boys born seen as boys don't have perfectly flat chests, so binding as tight as you did wasn't necessary or safe, for that matter." I give him a look, is Spot really trying to be the cis savior right now? He gives me a look right back, "What? I know what I'm talking about." He lifts his shirt up to reveal two scars on his chest. I gasp, "But you're only *insert years/months* younger/older than me! How did you even know that this was an option, as well, how did you do it?" He smirks, pulling his shirt back down, "Thought so. Anyway, I don't really know. I needed them off desperately and randomly thought of it. As for the how, Buttons is AMAZING with scissors and blades. Like, scary amazing." He shivers. I blink. Damn.

He gives a shy grin "Do I really pass that well?" I look at him enviously "Of course! But... how do you look so...masculine?" "Well, I tried my best to copy the behavior of other boys I saw. And the whole working out didn't hurt." I nod, taking a mental note. Behavior, got it. Can't promise sticking to a workout, though. Spot scoots closer, taking my hand in his, "But the most important thing to understand is- behavior, body type, and a powerful reputation doesn't define being a true boy. What does is what's in here-" he taps my head, "-and here." he points to my heart. Spot looks me in my eyes, "You could wear dresses, skirts, use a 'girly' name, hell, even go by she! and you'd still be a boy in my eyes." I feel my eyes water, and Spot opens his arms to me with a sincere look. I fall into his arms and cry tears of joy. Spot and Race are the older brothers I never had, helping me at every fork in the road of my transition.

(A/N: I noticed that a big issue in trans fanfics was that the cis person was always the one to condescendingly teaching the helpless trans kid how to bind properly. I decided to make both of your mentors trans, had them both know what they're talking about, and made sure that you weren't completely useless or clueless, only that you needed guidance seeing as (Y/N) is a trans kid with no former knowledge about his transition. As well, I kinda wanted this fic to be of help to any newcomer trans men. Anyway, on to the last of the story!)

"So how are your ribs feeling?" Spot asks after we both calm down, "A little sore, but pretty much moveable. Is it really this painful to bind? I mean, the past few weeks I had the binding stuff on was my first time." "It shouldn't, I mean, lookit Race. He seems energetic and flexible even when he's binding." I think he sees my insecure face because he speaks again, "What I mean to say is- if you have more experience binding, you'll know how to mix mental and physical comfort. Either way, what fucked up your ribs wasn't the binding, it was the Delancey's. Not saying the way you were binding wasn't bad and wouldn't have caused lasting damage, of course."

I see Spot have a flicker of thought behind his eyes, he pulls out an obviously stolen silver pocket watch with the initials H.A. engraved on it to check the time. "Almost time..." he mutters. I give him a suspicious look, "Almost time for what...?" he looks sheepishly at the ground, "Nnnnnothing." I let out a noise halfway between a snort and a scoff, "Uh huh." "Fine." he sighs, "All the newsies and workin' boys is comin' together today. We'se hopin' ta finish up this strike Once And For All."

"Let me guess, I shouldn't go because I'm still healing." He nods, "Spot!! I need to do my part in this strike! I can't miss the most important day of my life." he gives me a weird look, "You don't even know what the outcome'll be, plus I promised Race that you wouldn't get hurt." "Please, I've been bedridden for WEEKS. And I won't get hurt" I protest stubbornly, he sighs exasperatedly "FINE, but I'm gettin' you right outta there at the foist sign o' danger, okay?" "Okay!" I say, content with the compromise. "We should prolly get you up and used to legs again before the strike--" my stomach rumbles harder than Les when he sees the chocolate croissants in the Pastry Shop window, and that's seriously saying somethin', "--and something to eat, too."

Spot holds my hands as I get out of bed and basically learn to walk again with wobbly legs. You could just paint my back with spots and call me a baby deer. Once I get my legs to work with me, Spot leads me to a tin tub. I give him a 'seriously?' look, "What am I doin', goin' ta church?" he laughs sarcastically, "Ha, ha. (N/N), you haven't cleaned yourself since the last time you were conscious. I also need to refresh your bandages since those haven't been touched since Race changed them in the foist place." "Fiiiine" I growl.

Spot unwraps my arm and chest bandages, but when it comes to me taking off the rest of my clothes, he looks away (not even for my privacy, but just because he is highly repulsed to the idea of naked bodies) I add enough soap suds on top of the water to cover my body so he's comfortable.

He grabs some soap and lathers up my hair with it, soon rinsing it. He also lathers and rinses my face, removing the built-up dirt, grease, and sweat, which accumulated surprisingly quickly for only spending a month, or was it two, here. Spot brings out a small piece of scrap fabric and a bottle of some liquid, then gently grabs my arms. "This might burn a little," he said empathetically. He dampened the cloth with what I am assuming is disinfectant and started pressing it against my healing cuts. I tried to hold in my pain but let out a small hiss when the cloth reached the deeper cuts on the backs of my arms. Spot stopped temporarily, letting my arms adjust to the sting a little, before continuing. Once he's finished, he hands me the soap and leaves the room to let me bathe myself in peace and picks up my dirty clothes and old bandages. "Holler if you need anything!" he yells on his way out.

I create a lather in my hands and stand up so I can actually wash my body. The air is chilly compared to the bathwater, so I do my best to be quick as I let my soap hands travel gingerly over my body. I look down, and for the first time in a long time, I don't feel ashamed. Spot words echo in my mind as I smile softly; 'You could wear dresses, skirts, use a 'girly' name, hell, even go by she! and you'd still be a boy in my eyes.' I guess, for now, I'm confident in my masculinity.

I sit back down, enjoying the warmth, and rinse myself off. I step out of the bath and look at the grey-ish brown-ish water. Ew, was I really that dirty? As the cold air envelops me once more, I realize I don't have a towel. Or clothes. "Spot!" I call out, "Yeah?" I hear a faint voice, "I need a towel and some clothes!" I answer. There's quiet, then a series of rustling sounds that slowly get closer. The door opens a crack and I see a tan, muscular hand slide a pile of clothes and a towel in my direction. I smile gratefully, "Thanks, Spotty!" "Aye! Only Race can call me dat..." "Okay, fine."

I dry my hair as much as possible, before continuing to my body. There's not much actual rubbing rather than patting because of my injuries, so when I get my pants on and slip my button-down onto my shoulders, they get a little damp. "Spot?" I call out again, "Do you think you could help me with my bandages?" "'Course!" He casually picks up the chest bandages and binds it pretty much perfectly- Tight enough to make a difference in my chest size, but loose enough to let my ribs heal. Spot then starts re-bandaging my arms, "Can I ask you a question, Spot?" "Sure, (N/N)" he says nonchalantly, "Why is it you are repulsed by fully naked bodies, but you're perfectly casual and fine about helping me bind my chest when I'm half-naked?" he clears his throat as if he was ready to spin a whole story, "Well, Race used to live with me and we started trusting each other a lot more than when we first met. He trusted me enough to teach him the best way to bind, and he trusted me enough to feel comfy without a top on when around the house, so I'm kinda desensitized. But when it comes to people being naked or bein' overly suggestive, I just..don't like it. At all."

'Asexual,' I think, 'Knew it."

"Anyway, you ready to fight off the bulls and get our rights back, (N/N)?" He stands up and offers a hand to help me up, which I receive. I catch my reflection in the dirty bathwater. I can see crystal clear, that I am dapper, strong, and ready to kick some Delancey ass.

But first, Lunch.

Ω~Ω~Ω~Ω~Ω~Ω~Ω~Ω~Ω~Ω~Ω~Ω~Ω~Ω~Ω~Ω~Ω~Ω~Ω

I arrive at the strike on Spot's shoulders, hyped for the happy ending they all worked so hard for. Spot sets me down gently and scans the crowd for someone. It seems he found them because his face lights up. I see Race run over to us. "(N/N)! Oh my god, I'm so fuckin' glad that you're awake! Especially today of all days!" however, his enthusiasm is soon replaced with concern, "But is ya sure yer okay? You must've woken up just today, so are you feeling good? Yer injuries don't hurt too bad, you're not dizzy, hungry, thirsty?" "Calm down, Tony, I gave him a bath, changed his bandages, gave him food n' water, even a pep talk, so you don't need to worry!" Race takes a few deep breaths, "Okay, okay, yeah I'm fine. But that's great!" He engulfs me in a firm, but gentle hug. I look around the crowd and see some familiar faces, Katherine seems to have brought another girl with her, who I'm assuming is Sarah, Davey's sister. I see Albert and Elmer tightly holding each other's hands. I see Finch and Smalls exchanging jokes as a form of distraction. I look back at Race and Spot, who are being so romantic, it's almost gross. Almost.

The adrenaline still hasn't left me so when people start getting as excited as me, it just hypes me up even more. We look up at the window of Pulitzer's office and see Jack and a few others standing there, waving. I wave back vigorously. Not too long after, Jack, Davey, Pulitzer, and The Governer appear on a balcony, Jack at the front. "Newsies of New York City..." cue the pause for dramatic effect, "WE WON!!" The crowd of newsies roars with joy. I watch as Crutchie limps out and beats Snyder's ass as the abuser is dragged away, I don't understand why so many people see him as an angel, it's obvious that he's a cheeky lil' rat bastard.

Suddenly, it's like everything is in slow motion. I look around once more and see Katherine and Sarah kissing, same with Albert and Elmer, Finch and Smalls are hugging each other tightly. I look back up at the balcony and see Davey and Jack gettin' it ON. I look once again to Spot and Race, who just finished kissing. Spot reaches down and hoists me onto his shoulders to cheer. And as I take in this momentous victory one sense at a time, I realize in a moment of pure bliss-

I finally found my true family.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Word Count: 8190

(A/N):

This took VERY LONG (approx. one month, I just finished after working from 9 pm to 5 am) I know it was supposed to be a simple one-shot, but since there was no one to help narrow down and shorten the plot for me, I got carried away. I am, however, pleased with the length of it. This may be the longest fic I've ever written. As well, I hope any underlying advice or tips mentioned in the story helped you to understand/realize something.

I would love it if you were to vote, give me some constructive criticism, and/or request something for me to write! Don't forget- I live to write that one fanfic you can never find.

Love y'all!

~ Race

#newsies #fanfiction #newsies fanfiction #reader insert #ftm #trans reader #javid #sprace #almer #crutchie morris #morris delancey #katherine x sarah #spot x race #jack x davey #elmer x albert #hyperfixation #fansies #broadway #newsies broadway #ships #no one x reader #oneshot #no sleep #long oneshot #fanfic request #requests #requests open #tumblr #gay #lesbian

[operationcavill]

Untangled - Part 3

Does Henry finally get Y/N number? Does Y/N remember to ask for his? Keep reading to find out!

Inspired by: Butterflies // Kacey Musgraves

Y/N - Your name

S/N - Sisters name

B/I/L - Brother-in-Law

Part 1 | Part 2

The über driver jumps when he hears someone shout as they slam his door, “You didn’t give him your number, AGAIN?”

“I panicked, S/N!” She puts her hand to her forehead, “He didn’t give me his number either.” The elevator to their room is silent, mostly due to the fact that her brother in law looks like he might lose his drinks any second.

Making sure they got in safely she hugs her and checks the time. Her sister has hit her needy buzzed phase of the night, “You sure you don’t wanna stay for a bit? We could watch Drag Race.

Not wanting to invade on them any longer she shakes her head, “Nah. I’m gonna head home and hopefully sleep through this storm. I really don’t want listen to B/I/N vomit again anyway.” She gives her sister a peck on the cheek as she shuts the door to their room. Y/N walks down the hall toward the elevator, praying she doesn’t get stuck inside of it if the power goes out.

The ding brings her back to reality, “Hello there.”

What is it about a man with an accent, “Oh, hi,” She bites her lip.

“I didn’t know you wanted to run into me so soon. You following me, Darling?”

The way he says, ’Darling’ puts her on her toes, “My sister is staying here. Are you following me?”

Henry crosses his toned arms, “Just a very nice coincidence.”

“I take it this isn’t your floor?” She enters the elevator, pressing the lobby button.

He lets the doors close, “No, but I don’t mind sharing a ride back down,” He takes note of the sound of her boots on the laminate floor.  He liked to see her in nothing but those boots. They were tall, black, cutting off at her knee and letting just enough room to show a bit of her thigh. They reminded him of something 60s, go go boots and all that. She was dressed very well but looked so comfortable. A simple dress with what she would later call ‘a fun cardigan, not a sweater,' “How’d you know it was gonna rain like that?”

She looks at him, smudged eyeliner making her look even more endearing somehow, “Hmm?”

“How’d you know it was gonna rain?”

She shrugs, “It’s just one of those weird things.” She taps her toes while the elevator beeps, still paranoid about getting stuck in the small space.

“Is it terribly forward of me to tell you how cute you are?”

“No,” She looks as if she’s embarrassed to be complimented, and he can’t understand why.

Henry moves closer, “Well, Y/N, I think you’re lovely.”

They approach the lobby, “I, um, need to catch my Uber.”

He licks his bottom lip, “What a shame. Can I wait with you?”

She tries to hide her smile but it quickly falls as she notices the rush of people coming from outdoors, “Ugh. Frickin’ rain."

“Don’t like storms?”

“I don’t mind them. I live in an older building so when it storms, we usually lose power for the night.”

“Ah, I certainly hope not. It’s surprisingly cold tonight.” He would love to keep her warm on a night like this.

“It is. Getting stuck in the rain didn’t seem to help,” Oh, what a playful look she gives him.

He laughs, “I admit I was wrong.”

“Shit.”

“Everything ok?”

“My ride cancelled on me.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” His hands find themselves in his pockets again, “Um, well I can give you a ride if you like.”

“Oh that’s super nice of you but the bus runs—“ He almost rolls his eyes, the bus?

Henry hates the idea of her riding a bus alone at night, and in this weather? She could get sick. He couldn’t have that, “Please, I insist.”

He receives a quizzical look, “Are you sure?”

“Of course,”

“Ok, well, I’m telling my sister you’re giving me a ride. You know, just in case you turn into a psychopath or something. No offense,” Y/N laughs nervously.

“None taken, car’s this way,” He returns the smile, hoping she’s not too bothered.

She follows him to the cold garage, “I hope you have heated seats. Should’ve worn jeans,” She wouldn’t say it out loud but the wind was making her butt so cold that she could have worn it was going numb.

Henry grins as he opens her door, “You’re in luck.”

“Thank you.” Her sweet smile.

“So, where am I headed?”

Y/N suddenly get a bit more animated, waving her hands about, “Outside Squirrel Hill, when you pull out, go left, “ She points, ”and pop on Irvine.”

“Alrighty.”

“And at the second light, make a right.” She zoned out on his hand on the gearshift, he has very nice hands. They look soft, but not too soft.

“So, how’s your legs?”

She was too preoccupied by his hand movements to hear what he said,“Hmm?”

“Your legs were cold?”

Thank god its dark in this car, she blushing and wants to jump right out of the car, “Oh, yeah, the heated seats, they’re fine. “

“Good, it is rather cold. I should’ve brought a jacket.”

“Extra cold for the beginning of October,” A loud clap of thunder makes her gasp, “Oh!

He jokes with her, “Not scared of storms, huh?”

She sighs, “Took me by surprise is all,” The rest of the ride is quiet, a soft song playing and the rain violently hitting the sun roof.

——————————

He parks in front of the brick building and gives a sympathetic groan, “Well, I’d say your electricity theory was correct.”

She sighs, “Listen, would you mind walking me up? There’s a creepy guy on the 3rd floor that I wouldn’t exactly like to meet in the dark.”

His stomach drops, is she safe here? “Of course. Are you ready to brave the rain?”

No.“Count of 3?”

“1-2-3,” They both open their doors and bolt.

“Uh,” Y/N feels the icy cold drops hit her thighs as she runs.

He grabs her hand and encourages her run faster, “Hurry!”

“Oh my god,” She’s shivering now, and she notices the thinness of his shirt once more and the body underneath it, and that he’s still hold her hand.

Regrettably, he lets go to shake the water off his arms, “I think we might make a puddle in the lobby.”

She shivers, “Right. Steps are over here.”

"What floor are you on?”

She groans, “I’m on 5.”

“Well, you know what they say. Never skip leg day.” Henry huffs and gets a head start leaving her to skip to catch up.

As they reaches the 3rd floor, the creepy guy is waiting just as Y/N thought he would, “Who’s ya friend?” She moves so that she’s walking beside Henry, “You gotta name?” They continue on, rightfully ignoring him.

He goes wide-eyed, “Jesus. He is creepy.”

Y/N sighs and shrugs, “He makes everyone uncomfortable.”

“I can see why. Those emergency hallway lights aren’t exactly doing him any favors either.”

“So, here I am.” She’s suddenly very aware of her lungs. Her chest feels tighten as she looks at him.

‘Here you are.” If she was in a movie, this is what they meant by calling men ‘Dreamy’. His thick eyelashes and soft lips, even his stupid scruff is beautiful.

“Thank you for the ride. And walking up here with me,”

“No problem, it was good to see you, again, so soon.”

Another loud boom of thunder rips through the night, “God!”

He tries not to laugh, “I think you might be a liar about hating storms.”

Her voice falls, showing her shyness all over again, “I think this one just has me particularly jumbled.”

“Oh really?” Henry moves closer, mere inches from her face.

She swallows, “Yes.”

He’s so close to her face that she could feel the warmth of his breath, “Why’s that?”

“You’re just—,” Y/N is distracted by movement in the corner of her eye, “GET OUT OF HERE!”

Henry watches the creepy man from the third floor descend the stairs and looks back toward Y/N, “Does he do that a lot?”

“No, I’ve never seen him up here, “ She looks startled and he instinctively walks back to her with large strides, briefly touching her arm, “Do you care to come in for a second? I don’t really want someone eavesdropping on me.” He nods, shuffling inside with her.

She eagerly shuts the door, locking it, but bumping into henry as soon as she turns back around, “Oh, sorry. It’s really dark.”

“It’s ok. I have some candles and stuff. You want some tea? The good thing about these old buildings is that they always have gas ranges.” The light from her phone helps her navigate and see Henry standing there with his wet clothes, looking ridiculously attractive. She awkwardly takes her boots off before kicking them to the side.

He can’t contain a chuckle, which earns awkward silence from her, “I don’t mean to laugh, you looked very cute struggling.”

“That’s a weird compliment, you know?” He shrugs with his hands in his pocket. She motions at him even though they can barely see, “Take off your shoes, please. With my luck, I’ll probably slip and fall on a single drop of water. Come on, let’s make that tea.”

Henry walks behind her very closely, making Y/N’s heart race in the best way, ”Thank you for letting me come in.”

“I guess knowing a superhero came in handy.” She laughs, “So, tea?”

“That’d be great.” He watches her look through drawers, sifting through things with her aid on her phone light.

“I think I put all the candles in the hallway,” She hums before speaking,“I don’t have anything warm to offer you besides the tea. Unless you want to wear a robe with little gold stars on it.”

His mind goes off with how adorable she must look about of the bath. Her skin all flush and warm bundled up in a robe, “Ohh, sounds very fashionable but I’m ok. Thank you, though.”

“I’m going to dry off and change before I turn into an ice cube. I’ll be right back.” Henry looks around her kitchen and tries to make out all her knickknacks from the barely there light of the small window above the sink. She returns in a sweater and leggings, and a towel in her hand. Soft. Y/N bumps into him a second time, “Sorry, I can’t really see. Got you a towel,” She clears her throat, “Got the candles.”

He would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy her body against his, “S’alright.”

She finds a lighter and joyfully announces, “Let there be light!”

“You are an exquisite hostess.” He rubs the towel in his hair, leaving it a curly mess.

“Thank you. I do try,” she searches her cabinet after filling the kettle, “black tea, green tea, or um, more black tea.

Henry looks offended, “I’m British.” He sits down in one of the wooden chairs in her small kitchen, somehow looking right at home.

Y/N puts on her best fake accent, “Oh, my mistake, Mr. Cavill.”

He attempts to wink, “Cheeky.”

“So, you’re in my kitchen and I barely know you. I’m either very stupid or very smart and pulled the hottest man in the world inside my apartment.”

“Should I say thank you?”

“Probably.”

“Thank you.”

Y/N plops the tea bags in the mugs, “Let me know if I’m keeping you. I didn’t really mean to just drag you in here. That guy is just such a weirdo,” She fills the cups, “I kind of panicked.”

“I don’t mind at all.”

“Sugar?” Sweet like her.

There goes those thoughts again, “Yes.”

“I, um, dont usually invite strange men into my house. So, I hope you’re not a complete crazy-pants.”

“Please, if you’re uncomfortable I can go. I don’t want to over stay my welcome, or make you think I’m a crazy-pants.”

“No, it’s ok. I actually like having someone here tonight. He’s never came up here before, and I like talking to you.”

“I like talking to you, too,” he sits up straight, “and I like your flat. Cozy, it feels like a home.”

“Thank you. I try to make it my little hideaway.”

“It’s nice. Especially in this storm.”  

“I can’t believe how bad it is. I don’t think it’s rained this hard since the beginning of summer.” A bolt of lightning and loud clap of thunder shakes her, “Jesus!”

“Whoa.”

A buzzing noise comes from the counter, “Well, my phone is on 3% and there’s a flood warning.”

It’s then that he remembers his phone is in his car, “That’s cheerful news,” he watches her in the dim light. She picks at her sweater, seemingly avoiding his gaze and the glow of the candles make her all too alluring. Even when she isn’t speaking, she says a lot. Y/N’s body talks, and he wants to answer. “Ok over there?” She grants him pleasant smile with a nod.

She grants him pleasant smile with a nod, “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” He can barely handle the few seconds of anticipation.

“Do you mind staying — would you want to stay here for a little bit?”  

He hates that he gets excited by these words, because maybe she’s too scared to be alone or maybe he’s misread the situation entirely, “What do you mean?”

“Well, I don’t like the thought of you driving in this, or being responsible for Superman’s death. I’d feel better if you’d stay until it lightens up. It looks like there’s a bit of a blackout, I can’t see really see anything out there.”

He smiles widely, “Well, I’ll stay and chat if you’ll have me.”

Before they know it, two and a half hours pass by. They share their favorite books and what music they like. They both agree that they could eat gnocchi for ever meal. He struggles with jet lag and Y/N has never been overseas. She misses her niece and mentions how she’s always loved to paint, too. Henry finds her passion for her craft and love for her family endearing, and it’s something he can understand. He always misses his family when he’s away, but his drive to work is practically unstoppable.

“What time is it,” she stretches, accidentally giving him a glimpse of her stomach. He wants to touch her skin.

He pulls up his sleeve to expose his no doubt expensive watch, “Oh, it’s just past 1,” He shrugs, “time flies when you’re having fun.”

She yawns, “It does.”

“You’re cute.”

“Stop it.” Y/N sits up straight, ready to argue for no reason. She’s bit grouchy when she’s sleepy and not even Henry’s good looks and charming accent can beak that seal.

“No.” He can tell she’s holding back a smile.

Ok, maybe Henry’s charm can break her out of it, “Yes.”

He shifts forward, resting his elbows on the table, “Your cute sweaters and your stupid cute mugs.”

She gasps, “They’re not stupid!”

“Yes, they are, they’ve got blue frogs on them. Your cute smile and your cute sleepy voice,” She leans back against the chair, arms crossed and brows furrowed.

They stare at each other, the candle light flickering between them.

“Do you always pout at compliments?” He enjoys that she cocks her said to the side, gearing up to return the banter.

“No, In fact-,” A knock at the door cuts her off.

He shares confused glance, “I take it you’re not expecting anyone?”

Y/N gets up but stops to grab his forearm, “Come with me.”

He doesn’t hesitate to grab a candle and guide her, but her hands are so cold he can’t help but clasp his hand over hers, “Your fingers are freezing!”

Y/N is too worried to appreciate the sweet gesture, “Shut up and see who it is!”

“It’s your apartment!” He guffaws and rolls his eyes.

“Henry! Just look through the thingie.” The way she’s said his name could leave him melting right in the narrow hallway.

“Fine.... I don’t see anyone?” He tries not to show his concern in order to save her from worrying even more.

She squeezes his arm, “What?

“No one is-,” Another knock comes from the hall.

[Tagged: If you’d like to be tagged, just shoot me a message!]

@igotkatiepowers​ @xxxkatxo​ @lunedelorient​ 

#my posts #text #my writing #henry cavill #henry x you #henry cavill x female reader #henry cavill x you #henry cavill blog #superman #dc #hc #henry cavill fan fiction

[wxy85]

People have no sense of reality, responsibility or commitment. They will adopt cute little pigs or ducklings or puppies and when their cutsy itsy baby animal turn into a grown ass swine or duck or dog, suddenly they’re not cute enough anymore to be worth the trouble. Guess what Linda, you should have thought of that before. It’s the same goddamn thing with the fitness implants, sure it’s tempting to hack yours, amp it up to the max and live your muscle growth fantasy. But who’s gonna wipe your butt when you’re too big to bend your arms? Who’s gonna feed you with that fucking funnel to get the bare minimal 10k calories you need to survive? Who’s gonna sponge bath you? Who’s gonna take care of every one of your fucking needs because you’ll be as helpless as a fucking potted plant? I got stories like that every month, they’re nothing special. They’re sadly common stories of abandonment, broken dreams and aborted love stories. Ever since we opened the Bullpen with a few other guys, we’ve been receiving hundreds of requests to take in boyfriend, husbands or sons that were a burden on their family due to their size. But we can’t take everyone in, as much as we want to help those overgrown bulls. Their care is expensive, and we had to make the Bullpen a sustainable space. We take in up to 50 Bulls max, 30 gay bulls 20 straights there is an overlap for bisexual ones. We feed them, take care of them in a five star complex. Each bull have a dedicated caretaker that see to his every need. A happy bull is a growing bull and a growing bull is a bankable bull. The facility is filled with camera and we sell subscriptions to channel broadcasting the feed to muscle fetishists all around the world. We sell bulls from time to time too. We make sure the people adopting them are able to take a decent care of them. That allows us to have new bulls over and so on. Oh come on! Cut that fucking outraged face,i don’t need a lecture on how this is prostitution and human trade, I know what we’re doing. I don’t care what you think, we’re actually helping those big morons because no one else would. I’ll tell you the story of Rafael, how we got him here, how we rescued him from of a fucking shithole and how much better he is now with us. Rafael application was sent in by his boyfriend Chad. There was a lot of pictures documenting their story and a long long letter from Chad explaining why we wanted his beloved bull gone from his life. Let me tell you that letter wasn’t a touching text about the man he loved, it was the cry for help of an asswipe that didn’t see the writing on the walls. They met in college they were both 20 years old, Chad was your all american closeted football player and Rafael was a brilliant exchange student from Mexico. They fell in love, thoug i suspect it was only skin deep but I’ll never know for sure. Chad a square jaw blond hair blue eyes and that thick body of a football player while Rafael was a model like young man with dark almond eyes jet black hair, full lips and a very open and joyful face. I knew right away he’d be a hit in the bullpen. After a year of relationship Chad had opened to Rafael about his muscle fantasies and talked his very enthusiast boyfriend into getting his fitness implant unlocked and amped to the max. Like always it was fun at first. Within the first few month Rafael had turned into a real fitness freak. One of those adonis you see all over your IG feed. But that was merely a temporary state as Rafael was just beginning his journey toward freakdom. Six month into it, Rafael was already a big as a pro heavyweight bodybuilder, his shape was incredible, thin waist, ripped body, massive arms and ass and legs. Chad didn’t mention anything about it but from Rafael’s bulge on the pics of that period, he was also growing down there. It was probably the best period for them. Chad paraded his trophee boy all over the place. The tipping point was when Rafael dropped out of college. One of the very bad side effects of amping up an implant is that it upset the hormonal balance so much that it slowly turn people into dumb obedient and totally dependent persons. Bulls if you want. As it started to affect Rafael, he tried doing odd jobs but couldn’t keep one because of his degrading emotional state and shears size and range of motion. And yet, he was still growing. As expected, one year into the process Rafael had left the realm of humanly possible. Bigger than any roidhead, he was turning into a dumb obedient bull in need of constant attention. It was a full time care that Chad couldn’t provide. What happens in that sort of situation? What wasn’t said in Chad’s application? I had a faint idea of course. Rafael growth chart had started to curb down but he was far from done. Remember what I said : a happy bull is a growing bull. I knew Rafael wasn’t receiving proper care, I just had no idea how much of a shitshow it really was. Rafael was to be my new protege. My former one had been sold to an rich entrepreneur from the United Arab Emirates (with the utmost discretion of course). And as I perused the various applications I saw potential in Rafael and decided to be his caretaker. I took the Bullpen truck and drove all the way to their place to pick Rafael up. Due to their size, Bulls don’t do well in planes or bus. The truck has been modified for their comfort and has some material for emergencies an unplanned events. Chad and Rafael lived in a small house on the outskirts of the town. An affordable place for a low income couple. I remember pulling in their driveway an early morning of june. I was greeted by a nervous Chad, waiting for me on the porch. He was a gorgeous man but he looked like shit. Dirty sweatpants and t-shirt, messy hair and bags under the eyes. He was a wreck, it almost sparked sympathy in me but I knew Rafael was sort of the real victim here. -”Hello, Chad. I’m Leigh. We talked on the phone, I’m here to pick Rafael up” I said forcing an ultra brite smile. Chad eyed me from top to bottom, I knew the man was checking me out. I had a perfectly configured fitness implant and I dare say my body was fitness magazine cover material. I was wearing worn out jeans and a tight t-shirt that did hug my body in the most flattering way and a very expensive pair of shades, but the display wasn’t intended for him. -” Yeah, he’s inside.” he said nervous. I could feel something wasn’t quite right. Most of the bulls are waiting to be picked up more impatiently than their carers are waiting to get rid of them. I decided to probe around a little. -”Is his stuff ready?” I asked. -”He doesn’t really have stuff to pack. He doesn’t fit into anything anymore.” He said growing more nervous. “...And he doesn’t know yet.” I felt my face crack on the spot. Chad froze, probably afraid I’d just cancel the pick up. -”You didn’t tell him? That's irresponsible” I snapped. -”It’s not easy ok?!” Chad said eyes watering. I took my sunglasses off and stared right into his eyes until he squirmed on the spot. -”Spare me that bullshit.” I said flatout. “Let’s get going.” I said pointing at the door. When we entered, the first thing that I took in was the smell. It was terrible. And the second thing was the mess. It was equally terrible. We entered the living room, there was several dirty mattress piled on the floor. It was a makeshift bed for Rafael. he was still sleeping. I felt my heart tighten, he was dirty, unkempt. I wanted to punch Chad for doing that to his boyfriend. I had never seen a bull left in such a terrible state. Chad walked to Rafael and shook his shoulder softly. It felt unnatural. -”Rafael, wake up.” he breathed “wake up.” Rafael stirred. He was incredibly large compared to his boyfriend I’d say around 6’6 and over 400lbs with a body fat in the singledigits. Yet that seemed smaller than what I expected. It dawned on my that he might be underfed. Rafael slowly woke up, asking Chad for a hug. Chad looked dead inside, he went along but I could tell he wanted nothing to do with Rafael. and then Rafael spotted me. -”Who’s that?” he said. I remained silent, letting Chad take responsibility. -”It’s Leigh, he’s here for you. He’s gonna take you to the Bullpen.” To those guys the Bullpen is a fucking Disneyland on roids. Getting accepted in is generally the best day of their lives. So I did not expect the reaction that followed. -”YOU’RE ABANDONING ME?!” Rafael cried. The whole fucking house shook. Chad almost pissed himself of fear. I stayed stolid, straight in my designer leather boots. Two things about bulls: first they’re submissive stay cool and they’ll obey. Second, they’re practically harmless overgrown teddy bears. So I while Chad was expecting him to go on a roid rage like rampage I knew Rafael would most likely just start wailing and sobbing. -”You can’t leave me! You said you’d take care of me. That you wanted it.” Rafael said. Chad couldn’t even look him in the eyes. -”Babe, you said you loved me. That we were in it together. You can’t give me up.” Rafael said between heavy sobs. Chad remained silent as Rafael was stuck on repeat. His hair was long and unkept. His tears flowing on his cheeks, leaving trails in the dirt. That was the last straw. I laid my hand on Chad’s shoulder and shoved him toward the door. -”Get out of here. Wait outside. You’re useless.” I said I turned to Rafael who was looking at me for the first time really. -”I wanna stay with Chad.” Rafael said still sobbing. I looked for a clean spot to sit but couldn’t find any so I stayed up. -”When was the last time you two had sex? or even some sort intimacy?” I asked. “When was the last time he took care of you? When did he cleaned you last time?” -”I don’t fit in the shower anymore…” -”There is a hose outside, he could wash you. He could clean the dump he makes you live in. Does he even feed you correctly?” Pregnant pause. -”Look, I can’t force you to come with me. But I’m pretty sure you’re not happy here… Can I at least give you a haircut and a shower. We’ll talk afterward. Rafael nodded. -”Good.” I breathed. “I’ll be right back.” I walked out to the truck. It had basic clothes and an first aid kit. I put some clean clothes, soap, shampoo, sponge and an oversized towel in a bucket and walked back to the house. Chad was out by the door, smoking and staring at me. I shot him a nasty look. -”don’t move from here till I’m done.” I said. Back in the living room Rafael was up. Trying to cover his nudity with hands but he was so wide, thick, muscular and hung he had troubles being decent. I smiled to him and gestured for him to move toward the backyard. I made him stay on the concrete terrace -”Sorry it’s gonna be cold.” I said I then splashed the big man with water, He shivered as the cold water hit his massive body. I drenched him and then cut the water I grabbed some soap and the sponge and started washing him. I love washing bulls. I love rubbing their massive muscles. I started with his back, Rafael was really a gorgeous one, sinewy and massive. He had a tapered waist that highlighted his insane V shaped torso and his huge round ass and legs. His proportions were insanely erotic. I was boning in my jeans as I felt his thick muscle, rubbing suds in worshiping manner. He was breathing slowly, definitely enjoying some much need attention. I moved to the front. He was even more impressive upfront, he had proper bull neck and massive traps. His pecs were gorgeous full slabs of muscle adorned with large large brown nipples. His abs were hard, defined and bulged in an obscene manner. Between his legs was a fat uncut cock, probably a 10 incher, all chubbed up by all the attention he was getting. I rolled off his foreskin to clean him thoroughly his dick hardened in my expert hands. I teased him just enough to get him almost fully hard and flustered but not enough to send him over the edge. With the grime gone, his skin had a warm light brown tone that highlighted his incredible physique. I noticed a few stretch marks on his shoulders and ass. Bulls grow so fast they need a good skin moisturizer or stretch marks happen. I had some nourishing oil to fade them, I made note to use it afterward. I noticed a few dark traces on his pecs that hadn't disappear. I got a closer look and my heart sank as I noticed those were bruises. -”How did you get those?” I asked afraid of the answer. -”It’s nothing.” He said deflectively. -”they’re not noting. They’re bruises, the are blueish so they’re a few days old already and they’re on a weird place.” -”It’s my fault… i didn’t even notice them.” -”how so?” -”I can’t stop my growth. Chad said I needed to but I can’t stop it. I couldn’t obey him… and…” Rafael stopped breaking down in tears again. I hugged him, getting my clothes drenched in the process. We stayed a few minutes, I hold him tight, rocking him softly until his sobbing stopped. -”I’ll come with you.” he said softly. -”That’s a relief... I wouldn’t have left you here anyway.” I said. “I’ll take of you and I’ll make sure you’re happy. You can count on me. Let’s get this over and tear out of here. Sit.” He obeyed and i proceed to wash his hair and then buzz it in a short neat fashion. His gorgeous face was finally in full view. He was looking tired but he still was that drop dead gorgeous young man from his college picture. I rinsed him one last time with the hose. I oiled his marks, put some ointment on his bruises and then helped put on shorts short and a string tank top made of soft light brushed cotton. I got him a pair of flip flop for his massive feet. His fat dick was leaving a major dick print in his grey shorts and his tank was hugging his massive frame. He was even more handsome than i expected. I put all the stuff back in the bucket and we went around the house to get to the truck. I stashed the bucket in the truck and got my tablet out. I prompted the contract on it and hold it out to Rafael. -”I need your signature on that contract. The bullpen will be your legal guardian. We’ll see to your every need and well being. In exchange we’ll monetize captions of your daily life in the bullpen.” I said. Rafael looked at me and then at Chad still on the porch of the house where he had been chain smoking out of stress and/or guilt. Rafael’s last glance was heartbreaking but brief. He pressed his thumb on the tablet to sign. Without a second glance he climbed in the truck. I looked at Chad, and decided to ignore him. I’m pretty sure sure I wouldn’t have been able to control myself and would have punched him in the throat. Instead I climbed in the truck and drove away from here. The trip’s only event was our stop midway. we stopped for food and coffee at a dinner in the middle of nowhere. Rafael was like a kid on Christmas when I told him to order everything he wanted. The waitress was shook by the amount of food he ordered and all the patrons were staring at the massive man taking up almost two seats of our booth while he shovelled crazy amounts of food in his mouth. He looked so happy, it was contagious. I can’t save every bull in the world but I try. One bull at a time. He was totally oblivious to the nasty stares he was getting and so was I. I delighted in watched him dig in his food and as I ate mine I booted my tablet to get some stuff done. -”What are you doing?” he asked between two mouthful. -”Don’t talk with a full mouth. I’m just taking care of some… paperwork… regarding Chad.” I heard him gulp and from the sudden silence coming from his side of the table, I noticed he had stopped eating. I raised my head to look at him look at me with a concerned face. -What?” I asked -”You’reporting him?” I breathed deeply. -”Yes. For domestic abuse and endangering the life of others.“ Rafael laid a thick hand on mine. -”Please don’t.” He said. “He’s had enough trouble.” I shot a hard look to Rafael. making it clear i disapproved his decision. Relationship with Bulls is not just bossing them around and stuffing them. There needs to be trust and respect between a caretaker and his bull. So I deleted the report i was about to send. -”Fine.” I said. “I don’t approve of it but I guess it is your decision to make.” -”Thanks.” he said with relief. Once we were done with lunch I paid the astronomical tab and we were back on the road. It was 10pm when we reached the Bullpen. We were both exhausted. I took Rafael straight to his room. It was a vast room with hardwood floor, white walls and ceiling, a massive bed with white sheets and a little furniture in clear would with discreet steel reinforcements. It had windows that took all of the far wall of the room and showed the forest encircling the bullpen. I gave him a tour of the room before closing the blinds. -”I’ll let you rest for tonight. I’ll give you a tour of the facility tomorrow morning.” I said. -”Leigh?” -”Yes?” -”I don’t wanna sleep alone.” -”Of course.” I said. “I’ll just grab a shower and go to sleep with you. -”I could use a shower too.” he said shyly I smiled and gestured him to the bathroom. I went to the dressing and retrieved two pair of soft loose boxers for us after the shower and went to bathroom where Rafael was struggling to get undressed. The bathroom was a large room in polished concrete with a large wooden reinforced stool that doubled as a stepladder and a storage for shower supplies. It was designed for bulls to sit on and for caretaker to climb on to clean their bull. Their was sprinklers heads on the ceiling to ensure an efficient use of water. I watched Rafael try to take off his tanktop before, it was a turn on watching big guys struggle and that would definitely please the watchers of our channels. They loved seeing big guys struggle with mundane tasks. Rafael ended up looking at me with a pleading look. -”Sit.” I said. He obeyed. I climbed on the stool and grabbed the bottom of his tanktop and lifted it off his massive frame. -”Stand up.” I grabbed the waist of his shorts and yanked them down. He gasped as his big dick flopped in the open. I went to a laundry box by the entrance of the bathroom and dumped the clothes in them. It then turned my back Rafael and undressed. I felt him watch me. I wanted him to watch me. Bulls have a crazy sex drive they need sex several times a day to be happy. And that bull hadn’t had sex in a while. It was my duty to make him happy… plus Rafael had got me sort of horny. I turned around as if i wasn’t naked, exposing my perfectly shaped body and decent cock, walked to the tap and unleashed a a warm rain in the room. Rafael was on the stool in the middle, he was beaming… I wondered when was the last time he had felt hot water on his skin. I washed both of us, he sat obediently on the stool while I took care of us. I wasn’t just cleaning him i was massaging his huge muscles, caressing his huge frame, exploring part of his body that hadn't been touch in a while. His pits, his crack, under his pecs or under his lemon sized balls. He was hard as a rock. I grabbed his fat dick and stroked it pretending to clean it. He was looking at me, waiting for me to make a move. I leaned against him and kissed his soft lips. He moaned in delight. We made out for a few minutes. We then sat next to each other and started masturbating each other. His temperature was rising, we would exchange kiss and caress as we pleasured each other. -”Get on your back. I know what my bull needs.” I said Rafael laid on his back on the stool, licking his lips in anticipation. He raised his legs in the air exposing his hole. I grabbed the lube in the shower supplies and used a generous amount on both my dick and his hole. I started teasing his hole with my cockhead. He was breathing hard, looking at me with lust, he begged me to fuck him. I went in slowly and gently. He was tight and hot around my dick. I’d go back and forth with the tip to loosen him. Sliding myself further in everytime. Until I had all my seven inches buried in him. He was slowly loosening around me and soon I was pounding him good. It felt amazing having his massive legs around my body as I pounded his huge ass. I grabbed his dick and wanked him as I fucked his brain out. The moment he came I allowed myself to pound him harder and fill him with seed. His whole body relaxed, shook by occasional spasm of the afterglow. After a little rest, I cleaned both of us again. After helping my bull in a sitting position I turned off the water, towelled us and helped him put on his boxer before going to bed. Rafael was just at the beginning of his conditioning as a bull and he was already doing so good. He’d be one of the best we had ever had here. I knew it. We laid on the massive bed and hugged each other to sleep. -”Leigh?” -”Yes.” I said half asleep. -”thanks.” -”My pleasure.” I chuckled. I heard him from afar as I was falling asleep. -”Please… tell me you won’t leave me.” -”I won’t. You’re mine now...” I said before blacking out.

[evenstevensranked]

#27: Season 2, Episode 1 - “Starstruck”

Ruby desperately wants to win a radio contest to sit in on boyband BBMak’s recording session. Meanwhile, Louis finds an incredibly lucky penny and milks it for all it’s worth.

Wow, guys! Season 2 opens with the BBMak/Lucky Penny/Louis gets a makeover and looks smokin’ hot and Ruby develops a crush on him and I'm like "girl, same" episode!!! Let’s do this.

Alright, so within the first minute of this episode we learn that Ruby is absolutely obsessed with BBMak (a boyband that actually existed and is now unfortunately so irrelevant that some younger viewers of today assume they're a fictional band) and she’s trying to win a contest to go to their recording session when they come to Sacramento. She’s been listening to the radio on her pink, cheetah print walkman for hours on end trying to make sure she’s the lucky caller. Ren is concerned that her intense devotion may not be healthy.. but, Ruby insists she’s not obsessed with them. Her bedroom and behavior says otherwise: 

At school the next day, Louis ends up finding a lucky penny which leads him to experience the best few days in a row ever. It kicks off with him narrowly escaping death and his big history test being canceled due to their teacher’s monkey having babies. The usual. If you binge watch the show, like I’ve done more times than I care to admit, the first few seconds of this scene are shocking because Louis' voice is obviously deeper and he looks obviously older. Yet according to Disney logic we're supposed to believe he's still in 7th grade, lol nah. Maybe at least the second half of 7th grade... We've gone over this before.

Louis seconds away from potentially dying over a penny.

Like I've mentioned, Disney is notoriously bad at airing episodes out of order. So here, we get an episode featuring Ren’s old friend Nelson. The only issue is that this aired 6 episodes before Thin Ice, which is Nelson’s formal introduction. The only explanation I can think of for this is that the Disney execs thought the BBMak thing would make a stronger season opener and switched up the airing order after they were already shot sequentially. I guess they assumed, or hoped, no one would notice or care that there's a new character we've never seen before just chilling with the gang like BFFs lol. According to Wiki at least, Season 2 was aired horrifically out of order when you compare the production code to the number it aired in the season. Like, WOW. For example, this episode was shot as Episode 13. I think that says it all.

No wonder Louis seems so jarringly older in this episode. He’s totally younger in the episodes that were supposed to air during the front half of S2.

Anyway, both Ren and Nelson are concerned about Ruby’s wellbeing now. She has practically turned into a fanatic zombie. They approach her and she says “I haven’t slept. I haven’t eaten. Do you really think I wanna chat?” completely zoned out of her mind. Yeah, I’d be worried too. We also see that she’s not doing her schoolwork either. Her entire binder is full of BBMak, including this rather disturbing pop-up: 

Continuing his string of good luck, Louis gets to eat Principal Wexler’s extravagant birthday lunch for whatever reason and ends up winning a free fashion makeover courtesy of "Fruity Fruit Cocktail." ....ok. Tawny starts to get freaked out and Twitty simply says "I'm starting not to like you" which is understandable, because Louis is quickly slipping into another arrogant phase due to all of the luck he's been having.

Ren and Nelson give Ruby an intervention to stop her ridiculous obsession with BBMak and wanting to marry one of them. Why is this something that never goes out of relevancy? This is still happening today. It’s perhaps more relevant than ever with the rise of internet fandoms and socials like Tumblr. Teens are literally spiraling into genuine insanity over bands like never before. As long as there are teen idols, there will be teen idol fanatics. Can’t really go wrong with a plot-line like this. Ren tells her "You deserve a real life person who's gonna be perfect for you" - Ruby agrees and decides to turn over a new leaf.

The new and improved made-over Louis comes waltzing in, and just like that Ruby replaces her BBMak obsession with a Louis obsession. She’s just blown away by his beauty. Same, tbh. Y’all already know that I HAD THE BIGGEST CRUSH AND THIS EPISODE KILLED ME!!!! Now that I think about it, this very well might've been the episode that solidified my everlasting fondness for Shia LaBeouf.

This isn’t even overdramatic. Ruby is so me. 

Even Ren and Nelson tell Louis that he looks stunning! Well, “stunning” was Louis’ word, not theirs. They just agreed with his conceitedness, lol. Suddenly a bird comes flying into the house and lands on Louis’ shoulder. Of course, it happens to be Pecky -- a missing bird with a $50 reward. OF COURSE!

The next day, Ruby happily tells Ren that she has officially moved on from BBMak. There’s a new guy in her life! Ren is so excited until Ruby reveals the new object of her affection to her: 

Um, is this my room circa 2001 or Ruby’s? I honestly can’t tell. Also I would so buy that big’ol poster of Shia on her closet door. That thing has made a few appearances throughout the series. It’s kind of iconic looking, don’t you think? Maybe that’s just me... 

Just thought I’d mention: Ren asks her “How did you get these pictures?!” and Ruby explains “I downloaded them from the internet. Louis has a very interesting website.” Do I even want to know? Aside from the implied potentially disturbing content, part of me wishes Disney had some sort of interactive fake louisstevens.com website or something like Nickelodeon did with amandaplease.com! 

Tawny insists that Louis' lucky streak is nothing but “admittedly weird coincidences,” until Louis calls in to win the huge BBMak contest and......... wins. I love how he acts so blasé about it. The DJ is so excited and Louis is all "Eh.. What can I say? This whole charmed life thing is getting kinda old." Also, the DJ in this scene, who appears two more times in the series, was one of the many actors recycled for That’s So Raven. He played a news reporter on that show. Similar field. Huh. 

Ren believes that Ruby is simply rebounding with Louis and decides to show her his nasty bedroom to make her realize she doesn't actually like him. Ren also tells Ruby that he’s rotten and selfish, which... Is kinda true sometimes, oops. But at the same time, that scene always makes me a little sad inside. Louis is a good guy at heart, Ren!!

Just then, Louis appears in the doorway asking "What are you doing in my room?" and we get this incredible exchange:

(credit)

Louis then proceeds to very unselfishly invite Ruby to the BBMak recording session which only reinforces her crush on him. 

Okay. We finally make it to this darn recording session! Thank god. Louis might as well’ve brought his entire extended family because he brought four freaking people along with him like it’s some free for all. You usually don’t push your luck when you’re gifted something like that... but, oh yeah. Lucky penny. I freaking love this bit where Ren whispers to Ruby “Woo! He’s gorgeous...” referring to Christian from BBMak, and Ruby says “I know.......” in reference to Louis! LOL. 

Ren is so disgusted and once again Ruby is me.

Shia has been gorgeous in my eyes for nearly my entire life!!!!!!!!! Apparently I'm weird because I've seen so many memes about him that say things like "He was that ugly, weird kid on Even Stevens and then he magically became good looking" I'm just sitting here like??? Y'all are about 14 years late to the party.

Louis and Twitty get distracted by a table with free cheese on it, which honestly is the best part of any and every function or gathering. Not even gonna lie. While hanging around the cheese table, Twitty decides to seize the opportunity and give BBMak an Alan Twitty Project demo tape of “Sacramento Girl.” (YESSSSS!) They lie and say they’ll check it out — but immediately stuff it under a block of cheese. As a musician, I can confirm that this is too real. It’s impossible to get successful/established artists to take you seriously. I met Fall Out Boy at a local radio junket once and slipped Pete Wentz a demo. I never heard anything, sooo... It stings to know that he most likely hid it under some cheese the second I left. 

BBMak are looking for a ‘Sacramento sound’ (whatever that is) and encourage Louis to play some tambourine on their track! They tell him “If this works out, you could come on tour with us!” If only it was that easy to land a national gig in real life. Ruby mentions in passing that she needs to tell Louis how she feels, and TAWNY IS NOT HAVIN’ IT! Omg. She kinda gets jealous of Ruby’s crush and they start a small argument over him. Ren cannot believe what she's witnessing and I love it. Also, Christy looks fantastic here? Whoever did her hair and makeup: Good job!! wow!

Unfortunately, Ruby’s attraction to him is short-lived and comes to a screeching halt the second Louis loses his penny during his tambo solo, jumping around like a lunatic with no rhythm. (Again, HOW does he become a drummer later on? It’s a mystery.) It’s very subtle, but you can tell once Ruby starts finding Louis "odd and annoying," that Tawny is secretly happy about it and still obviously likes him unconditionally even though he's literally insane. Same, Tawny.

So, yeah. Louis loses his penny and his luck runs out. BBMak basically kick him out of the studio. I love how Louis asks them “What about the record and the touring?! What about BBMak-Stevens?!” as if the conversation ever went that far. It’s great. I might’ve spoke too soon about Shia being gorgeous because the faces he makes when he realizes the penny is missing from his pocket are the furthest thing from the adjective: 

It is hysterical, however. And that outweighs everything else here, so.

This episode ends on an AMAZING note: A super cringy music video for “Sacramento Girl”! What more could you ask for?!?! We get some Twitty-Stevens Connection action here and it’s something to behold. 😂  Be on the lookout for Shia doing his classic “shirt-over-the-head” thing he does, HAHA. You can tell some of the vocals were done by middle-aged men (probably Jim Wise) which makes it even more hilarious. My favorite lyric has got to be the Grammy award worthy: “Before I met the girl I had it made... Now she scores higher than the whole arcade. YEAH!” And of course, the episodes’ immortal last words "TAKE THAT, BBMAK!!!!" will go down in history.  

That’s it! I honestly don’t even know why I’m ranking this one “lower.” It’s probably one of my personal favorites but.. Idk man. There are simply other episodes that I like more, lol. This is a totally solid episode though! Super memorable, pretty strong humor (including music-related humor... which you know I love!), and two awesome plot-lines that blend really well! But, even with all of that.. something felt slightly flat about it when re-watching. It could possibly just be from me watching these episodes waaay too much, tbh. It also probably has something to do with it being a “special” episode with guest stars and whatnot. Episodes like that tend to feel like totally separate things to me. 

At this point, we’ve officially reached the REALLY REALLY GOOD part of the list, though. So I don’t feel too bad about placing it here. There are no “bad” episodes from here on out. Well, there are no bad episodes of Even Stevens in general really. But.. you guys know what I mean.

I’m probably gonna regret and rethink this entire list once I finish it anyway so, lol. 

Thanks for reading! 

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#rank #even stevens #season 2 #disney channel #shia labeouf #bbmak #louis stevens #ruby mendel #ren stevens #christy carlson romano #the twitty stevens connection #alan twitty #old school #old disney #throwback #aj trauth #the alan twitty project

[turtle-inserts]

3. Your First Christmas (Raph x reader)

The reader is a master of mixed martial arts, traveling around the world to train and learn different forms of martial arts with her father all while battling a severe illness in their lungs, but this is their first christmas home in a long time, will a certain turtle be able to keep her warm?

FIRST

NEXT

PREVIOUS

I was huddled in my winter jacket on my way to the lair, coffee in one hand and two boxes of pizza in the other. A strange combination in my opinion, but the guys loved pizza so I thought I'd surprise them with it! I had become good friends with the turtles by now and it wasn't hard to see their love for pizza was like an addiction to drugs.

Lifting the heavy manhole cover I climbed down, finally escaping the freezing cold snow previously blowing around me. I remember when I thought the sewer smelled horrible but over time I had gotten used to the smell of the place they called home and it doesn't bother me nearly as much.

Punching in the code to open the lair, I walked in. None of the guys were around so I assumed they were training with Splinter. I set the pizza on the table, plugged in my headphones and listened to music to pass the time. I went and sat on the couch, closed my eyes and just zoned out, daydreaming about everything; specifically a certain turtle mutant and his muscular arms. Suddenly something wet hit me on the side of my face, effectively interrupting my daydreaming! I stared wide-eyed as I saw Mikey dying of laughter. He'd just hit me with a water balloon and now my hair was soaked!

I calmly took out my headphones and gave him the glare of death. He immediately stopped.  "I guess Mikey doesn't get pizza now. Oh well." I got up and he grabbed me into a hug.

"I'm so sorry (Y/n)! I swear I'll never do it again!" Laughing, I accepted his apology.

"So where's the pizza?" Raph asked.

"In the kitchen of course." I watched as the four boys sprinted to the kitchen. I snickered as I watched them before following them into the kitchen. They had immediately started chowing down on the pizza the second they opened the box! I was offered a slice but I declined, coffee and pizza don't taste good together. I noticed a member of our makeshift family was missing.

"Where's April?" Donnie answered my question.

"She's at the library doing research for a school project."

"Oh. Okay, cool.”

"Hey wait. Aren't you two in the same classes?" He pried further.

"Yea? What are you getting at?"

"You haven't done the project yet have you..."

"Of course not Donnie, I'm a procrastinator."

"I noticed."

"Don't worry; I'll get it done eventually." He shook his head and went back to his pizza, which was now missing because Mikey had eaten it.

"MIKEY!" He shouted at his brother who just shrugged.

"I was hungry."

Donnie just sighed, "I'm going to my room," he left the table. I got up as well he had reminded me I needed to do something.

"I should get going, I have homework and I need to get ready for my dad’s visit tomorrow."

"Do you want me to walk you home?" Raph asked me. I shook my head and smiled. It was sweet of him for asking, but I needed to get home quickly.

"Nah, I'm a big girl Raph. I can handle myself." I grabbed my jacket, slipped it on and left after saying goodbye.

                                                   Raphael’s P.O.V.

Once (y/n) left, Mikey and Leo looked at each other grinning.

"Can I walk you home?" Leo was trying not to laugh, "Honestly, you're worse than Donnie."

"Can it, Leo!" He just rolled his eyes, still having that shit-eating grin of his, and left.

Mikey looked at me, "Just ask her out dude. The worst she can do is say no."

Actually, she could do a lot worse, but I didn't say that. Crossing my arms I lied, "I don't like her like that. I was just being nice."

"Woah. Raph? Being nice? That's not normal." I tackled him.

                                               Normal P.O.V

The moment I stepped into my apartment, I sprinted to my medicine cabinet. Over the past few months, my condition has been worsening and showing no signs of ever improving. I got to the sink and began to cough and hack until blood finally came up. I had forgotten to take my medicine earlier and only remembered once Donnie had left, which is why I ran out in such a hurry. My dad wasn't even coming over tomorrow, I made that up, and my homework? I finished it all in class.

After what felt like forever, I finally stopped coughing up the blood trapped in my lungs. I took a shaky breath, took out my medicine, and swallowed two of those little blue pills. They'd take half an hour to kick in but in half an hour I'd be fine again. At least I hoped that would happen.

I groaned at my misfortune; stupid disease! Why'd you have to ruin my social life!? Now, why didn't I just tell them about my condition? Because I didn't want them to start treating me like some fragile doll, or as if I was made of a thin sheet of glass that could break at any moment. April doesn't know either, at least I've never told her. God, I hate this. I decided to take a shower to rinse off the blood on my face, also because I smelled a teeny bit like a sewer.

After my shower, I dried my hair so I would be ready for whatever tomorrow had in store for me. I looked at myself in the mirror. I was pathetic, pathetic and tired so I went to bed grateful I didn't have school in the morning. As soon as my body hit the mattress, I fell into a restless sleep.

*tap* *tap* *tap*

Who the hell was that and what time could it be to warrant a visit? I looked at my clock which told me it was only 8 am. Whoever it is, is gonna be dead meat. I looked towards the window and saw Raphael waiting. After opening the window, I let him come inside. "What are you doing here so early in the god damn morning...." I asked, rubbing my eyes sleepily.

He looked at me like I was crazy. "It’s 8 o'clock in the morning, what do you mean early?"

"Normally I'm still asleep until at least 10ish...."

"I haven't even gone to sleep yet."

I paused, "Why?"

"Night patrol?"

"Oh, that'd make sense."

"Yea ya dingus."

After a few moments of, awkward silence I spoke. "Soooo, is there a specific reason you're here instead of sleeping?" I asked him.

“ I thought I’d come help you set up for your dad." Shit. OK. I have two options, keep going with the lie or tell him he's not coming over anymore. I like option two, it’s less complicated in the long run.

Smiling sheepishly I lied through my teeth, "Well, actually, he canceled. Last night. When I got home."

"Oh,"

"Yea, sorry for making you come out here for nothing."

"It’s fine." His eyes lit up as if he'd gotten an idea. He  didn't look at me as he suggested, "We could hang out if you want to." Why not? It’s not like I had anything else planned today.

I smiled at him, "Sure! It’s been a little while hasn’t it?” It looked like relief washed over him for a second but that quickly disappeared and his normal confident look returned. "Can you get my allergy pills for me while I get dressed? They're in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, just above the sink." He nodded and left so I could change. It wasn't anything too fancy, just black leggings and a sweatshirt. I wasn't trying to impress anyone today. Well, there was Raph, but he's seen me look worse. Post workout sweat and grease is not a good luck for anyone.

As I brushed my hair out, Raph called me into the bathroom. "What? Couldn't find i-" I stopped when I noticed there was still blood in the sink from last night's "fun". I stared at the blood, shit shit shit SHIT.

He looked at me. "What's this from?" He asked.

"Good question," I lied. I knew he wasn't buying it so I lied to him yet again. "Fine. I was having lady problems and had to wash out something, okay?" This immediately shut him up, as I knew it would. Periods, they're good for two things. One, telling me I'm not pregnant and two, grossing most guys out. He turned bright red and left the bathroom.

Once I finished taking care of the sink I took a pill and walked back out. Raph was sitting on the couch flipping through a sketchbook. Oh no...

I saw his green eyes glance up at me and back to the book. "You're not a completely horrible artist." I think that was a compliment? Only April had seen my drawings so far. I never let anyone else look in my sketchbook, not even my dad. The fact that he had just grabbed my sketchbook irked me a little, but I wasn't about to make it a big deal.

"Thanks," Walking over to him, I peered over him to see which sketch it was. Thankfully it was just one of a forest in colored pencil. He flipped the page to the next one of a duckling. He went to flip again and I tried to take it back.

"What's your problem?" He put his hand on my face and pushed me away at arm’s length so I couldn't reach it. As he flipped he turned red. It was of him, a full body sketch in pencil. He dropped his hand from my face. I felt my face heat up again, he regained his composure and smirked. "Now who's this handsome turtle?"

"Shut up," I murmured as he handed me the sketchbook back. Two embarrassing moments in one day, jeez. I'm on a role today.

We spent the rest of the day chatting and joking around. I made us lunch and after clearing the living room of furniture and whatnot, we sparred for a bit. I'd like to say I won, but I didn’t. Raph ended up making me fall on my ass with a kick to the stomach. He went all out during the fight, he's definitely gotten better since the first time whereas I seem to have gotten worse, weird right? I still work out a lot, despite having school I find time.

After having my ass handed to me on a silver platter, he helped me up. I groaned as I cracked my back and stretched, "Jeez, you really went all out..." He simply smirked and shrugged knowing I could take it. "You've really improved since the last time we sparred though." The last time we sparred was a few says before my tournament in the middle of November. I thought I saw him blush but it was probably just my imagination.

"Oh," He saw the time, 3:24, and told me he had to go. "Before I go, Splinter said I could invite you over for Christmas. So, what do ya say, (Y/n)?"

I smiled "I’ll totally go! My dad’s out of town for Christmas this year, he has a special class to teach in California."

"Great, see you tomorrow then." After opening the window for him, I turned around to face him. I always made sure to tell him goodbye. After all, you never know when the last time you'll see someone is. I never got to say goodbye to my mom so I make a point to do it now. He almost looked nervous. I was about to ask him if he was okay when he suddenly leaned forward and got really close to my face.

There was a dusting of a blush on his face as we locked eyes. Our lips were so close. “Can I?” I didn’t know where this was coming from but I liked it. I nodded and he kissed me softly on the lips. I stared at him wide-eyed, speechless, and blushing hard. He simply smirked at my reaction and said, "See ya later." Then left me standing there, dumbfounded and staring at where he was just a few seconds ago. I put my hands to my lips. I've never been kissed before, not even on the cheek. Dammit, Raph! How dare you surprise kiss me!

                                            Raph’s P.O.V

Once I got back to the lair I lay down on the couch and closed my eyes, I'm tired. Tired and happy. She didn't slap me after I kissed her so that means she didn't hate it, right?

"What're you so happy about, Raph?" I opened my eyes and saw Leo standing over me.

"Yea, you're smiling with your eyes closed, it’s creeping me out dude,"  I glared at my youngest brother. Man, he really knew how to ruin a guys mood.

"He was probably hanging out with (Y/n)," Donnie commented as he walked in from his lab.

"As a matter a fact I was," crossing my arms in front of me.

"Ooooh," they said in a chorus.

"Probably making out with each other," Mikey said and the other two agreed, making kissing noises for emphasis.

"Shut up!" I yelled at them and they all laughed at my reaction. "It was only one kiss..." I murmured. They all stopped laughing and looked at me dumbfounded.

"You actually went for it?" Donnie asked.

"Yep," I said with a smirk.

"Why aren't you all beat up then?" Mikey asked.

"Maybe because she actually enjoyed it?" I told him annoyed. They laughed and I went to my room, pissed at them all.

                                                Normal P.O.V.

It’s Christmas and I'm headed over to the guy’s lair. It was cold and a snowing, the cold wind had turned my cheeks pink as I carried 6 boxes, I had gotten Christmas presents for the guys, April, and even Master Splinter. As I walked into the lair I saw a Christmas tree up and many other decorations as well. The guys were sitting on the couch with April. Leo, April, and Donnie were wearing Santa hats but Raph and Mikey wore reindeer antlers making Raph and Mikey look adorable. Mikey was smiling obviously happy to wear them, but Raph wasn't quite as excited as his brother about it.

Walking over to the tree I laid the presents down underneath it then walked up behind the couch. "Cute hats, guys!" Four green heads whipped around, plus one red one, to look at me.

"(Y/n) is here!" Mikey yelled and got up to hug me.

He placed a Santa hat on my head and I laughed, "Yea, I put the presents I got you all under the tree."

Mikey smiled, "Yes! You are awesome! Thank you!" He ran to the tree to see which one was his.

"Mikey, wait until it’s time to open them," Donnie told him.

He pouted, "I was just looking."

I sat down next to Raph. "You didn't have to buy us anything ya know."

"But I wanted to, you guys have been such good friends to me so, I thought I'd repay the favor." He looked like he was about to say something but I interrupted him, "And besides, friends get friends gifts for Christmas, right ?" He simply nodded and stayed quiet, not looking at me. Why not? Oh, was it because he kissed me? But why would that make him be quiet around me? I enjoyed it. As I thought about what happened the other night, I began to feel a blush make its way across my face. Raph looked at me confused for a moment but it quickly changed into one of his infamous shit-eating-grins. He’s probably remembering the same thing I did.

He whispered in my ear, "We can do that again if you want." I sat there quietly, not saying anything in response. God, I wanted to but Master Splinter walked out of his room.

"Merry Christmas my sons and friends."

"Merry Christmas Sensei!" We all chorused back. Soon everyone unwrapped the present I got them, I got Master Splinter a book on old Japanese fairy tales, in case he was feeling a little homesick, he was hard to shop for.... I made April a scrapbook of all the places I visited since she'd been dying to see them all since forever, and I promised that we'd go on an adventure together someday. Leo was easy to shop for since he was obsessed with Space Heroes, so I got him a set of action figures from the show and a complete disk set of the first season. Donnie was given a book on astrophysics and I got him other sciencey books. I wrote him a note telling him to man up and ask April out since I was 99% sure she liked him.

Mikey was also pretty easy to shop for as he was happy with basically anything, so I got him an iTunes card for music and a new video game he'd been asking for. It was funny watching their reactions, they were all so happy with their gifts, it gave me that good old warm fuzzy feeling inside. Raph's reaction was the best by far though.

I gave him a new colored pencil drawing of him, full body, which took me HOURS to finish so he better worship the damn drawing, and I gave him photos from our trip to the photo booth, He let me keep them but I figured he should have them. The last thing in his box was the note I wrote him.

Raph turned red while reading it since I basically called him out on his little crush on me. His brother noticed this and went to read over his shoulder.

"Oooooo! Raph got a love letter!" Mikey yelled. I could tell my face was beet red by now.

Raph shut the letter and put it back in the box, "No, it’s not!" The guys laughed and April asked me what it said.

I whispered, " I called him out on his crush on me and I just wrote I wouldn't mind if he kissed me again, that's all." She stared at me wide-eyed.

"So it is a love letter!" Mikey yelled. I didn't even notice him listening in.

"Shut up Mikey!" We both yelled at him he simply laughed at our reaction.

Time flew by as the guys teased Raph, he got annoyed but I calmed him down each time. I also played video games with Mikey, helped make dinner, and then did some of the dishes with Leo. When I had to go around 12:30 am Raph offered to walk me home. Of course I accepted, so here we are now, walking home. I'm wearing the antlers now though, Mikey stole my hat when I started making dinner and Raph gave me his antlers so I could still look, "festive". Now Raph's wearing my hat after he took it back from Mikey.

As we got home Raph asked me about the letter. "So what made you write that letter?"

"Well, um," I wouldn't look at him because I could feel my face heating up out of embarrassment. I wanted to tell him, so I just blurted it all out! "RaphiIreallylikeyouandIknowyoulikemeto." Great. It was jibberish.

He just stared at me and after a moment of processing what I said, he laughed! "That must've been a mouth full."

"S-shut up!" I told him red in the face.

Suddenly his face reddened too, he looked at me and said, "So, the feelings are mutual then?"

"Y-yea."

"You don't care I'm some freak? A mutant?"

"You're not a freak Raph."

He grinned a genuine grin of joy and, grabbing me by my waist, kissed me. He pulled away after what felt like forever and I was a little dizzy from the lack of oxygen. He still held my waist and all of a sudden a wolf whistle was let out by someone we couldn't see. We both whipped our heads around to see who it was. It turned out the who was a group of people.

April, Donnie, Mikey, and Leo all stood on a roof laughing, whooping and hollering while wearing scarves and hats. They all looked cozy. My face heated up when I realized they must've seen our kiss. Raph yelled at them but the group only laughed, besides April. She shook her head smiling, and ran off with them. Raph growled and I could tell he was going to follow them, I kissed him on the cheek before he left, "Merry Christmas, Raph." He gave a small smile, mumbled a goodbye, then ran off to chase after his brothers and April.

I walked happily into my apartment, enjoying my boldness a few seconds ago. After changing into my pajamas I fell asleep on my couch by my Christmas tree.

“Best Christmas ever.”

#Fun fact #this was the original first chapter. Like I had the plot planned out in my head #but I wrote this first for some reason #Tmnt 2k12 #Raph reader insert #raph x reader #raphael hamato #raphael #tmnt reader insert #tmnt x reader #tmnt #tmnt 2012 #tmnt raphael #tmnt leonardo #tmnt donatello #tmnt donnie #tmnt mikey #tmnt michelangelo #reader insert #x reader

[canaryatlaw]

alright, well today was ok. I slept in probably too long, woke up some time around 12:30 I think. I ate some breakfast (or lunch I guess) then got changed to trek down to the store to grab a few things. Started at the grocery store to grab milk and I ended up buying a bag of chex mix because I decided I wanted it lol. I had also needed shipping supplies but they didn’t have anything, so I walked over to the Walgreens across the street which had a good selection of supplies, so I found a box that was a good size and bought 8 of them along with some packing tape in case I run out of what I already have lol. Went home after that and first got started on some laundry I was way overdue for, then spent a while on my laptop looking up job listings and sending in applications while the laundry was going. I ended up getting 5 applications in, for jobs that I would potentially be okay with taking, but I still found the process to be kind of depressing. it’s just really frustrating when I know exactly what I want to be doing, but I can’t do it right now and I may have to settle for something that I’m not going to be happy with. A few of them were at least public interest which is good, and one was for a trial attorney position so that would be interesting at least. It’s just that like, my heart isn't in it, you know? it’s not where I want to be, and even the ones I think might be okay are hard to find among a million other listings for firms that sound incredibly boring. so yeah, despite getting the applications in I wasn’t feeling great about that, I just kinda feel like I’m trapped in this never ending waiting stage and like, the longer I wait the more I can feel my depression creeping in. Hopefully the holidays will be better with it at least, and I can see some friends at home, so hopefully that will help. Anyway. Once I finished that I decided to start counting and dividing up the caramels and cookies, so I counted all of those (the non-dipped in chocolate ones totaled at 117) and split them up in 8 portions (14 caramels each) then split up the cookies. I still have to split up the chocolate covered caramels that are in the fridge because they get melty very easily (probably because I added heavy cream to the chocolate to thin it out when I was dipping them) so I’m probably gonna put them in a separate plastic bag inside the larger plastic bag everything’s in. So yeah, tomorrow I’ll finish that up and put everything together and take it to the post office, which should be good. Jess was coming over after work and she had really wanted cornbread for some reason, so I made some from a box of mix I had in my pantry, then uber eats’ed us some Popeye’s because we wanted chicken. Shortly before she was going to walk over the email went out that HVFF was cancelling Portland, less than 3 weeks before the con, which was of course a major annoyance because while they were refunding tickets of course we still had to deal with plane tickets and the airbnb I had booked fucking yesterday. and it’s all super annoying because like, we booked the plane tickets not even a week ago but now we’re getting fucked over by it. so we’re not pleased with them to say the least. So when Jess got here she got on the phone with the airlines and managed to get the money we paid for the tickets put into a voucher for a future flight with the airlines (minus their fee of course, but I mean this was the best deal we were gonna get) so we did that which is kind of frustrating because I still lost money but at least we got a good deal of it refunded (I think the vouchers came out to like $340 each so that’ll get us pretty far towards another flight, as long as we can find one with this airline since it’s not very big). Meanwhile I set to work canceling the airbnb reservation, since we had just booked it less than 48 hours ago they let us cancel for a full refund (minus the “non-refundable” guest fee which was like $6 but whatever) so that’s at least taken care of, I felt bad canceling on the lady when we’d been messaging a bit about the trip over the past day or so. oh well. once we had that all sorted out we went to watch Kingsmen, which is a movie Jess really likes that she wanted to show me because when we’re in Ace in Phoenix next money the main reason she wanted to go is that the lead actor from it will be attending, so I needed to see it. I actually enjoyed it a great deal, it was all very British and had a distinct James Bond feel to it but had much better character development and attention to detail than a typical James Bond film would have (and trust me, I’ve watched a lot of James Bond movies). There was a great moment when they’re questioning the main guy as to why he named his dog JB and they’re like “James Bond?” and he’s like “No....Jack Bauer” and I actually screamed lol it was great. so that was fun. Portland was supposed to be the weekend before that con, so that’s the one we have to look forward to now. I’m planning on meeting Charlie Cox and maybe Krysten Ritter (though I’ve been told my a celeb I trust that she’s been really bitchy in the past so we’ll have to see) and I’ll probably be cosplaying Jessica Jones because it’s really easy and I already have the leather jacket that looks just like hers. Once we finished the movie Jess headed home, and I watched the last two episodes of the great british baking show season I’ve been watching, and I actually accidentally spoiled myself as to the result while watching the finale by looking up one of the contestants only for it to come up that he was the winner (whoops). But that was very enjoyable. Then I started getting ready for bed and had to put away all my laundry that I had spread out all over my bed so the things that didn’t fully dry in the dryer (ugh) would hopefully finish drying, but then of course I had to put it all away before I could sleep, so that took a while. Once I finished that though I started writing this post and now we’re here. Hopefully tomorrow will be productive as far as getting things mailed out and potentially more than that. Okay, it’s 2:35 am and I’m getting very sleepy, so I’m gonna call it a night now. Goodnight babes. Hope your Monday didn’t suck.

#daily journal #December 2018 #Jess tag

[lindyhunt]

Everything That Upset the Internet This Week

What is the web-o-sphere angry about this week? An accused abuser who expresses no shame, a catfishing-themed Netflix romcom and a fatphobic Lena Dunham sweater. Here’s everything you need to know.

Jian Ghomeshi pens essay for The New York Review of Books

THE STORY: In “Reflections of a Hashtag,” Jian Ghomeshi, the former CBC radio star who was charged with multiple counts of sexual assault and then acquitted in 2016, writes 3,400 words about his experience. At one point, he suggests that he should take credit for the #MeToo movement that took off in October of 2017: “One of my female friends quips that I should get some kind of public recognition as a MeToo pioneer,” he writes. “There are lots of guys more hated than me now. But I was the guy everyone hated first.”

THE REACTION:

OH LOOK IT'S ANOTHER MAN WHOSE BEEN ACCUSED OF SEXUALLY ASSAULTING MULTIPLE WOMEN FINDING REFUGE FROM HIS SO-CALLED "EXILE" IN THE PAGES OF WELL-RESPECTED NATIONAL PUBLICATION https://t.co/vmCWns2wzR

— Ruth Spencer (@ruths) September 14, 2018

Stunned that that New York Review of Books would commision Jian Ghomeshi for a cover story. Ghomeshi faced trial for 4 counts of sexual assault and 20+ women come forward w/ accounts of abuse, forcing a reckoning w/in Canadian music and media bc EVERYONE KNEW HE WAS A CREEP.

— Jessica Hopper (@jesshopp) September 13, 2018

@nybooks What a disappointment to see you might be printing Jian Ghomeshi He is a predator RT if you will boycot @nybooks if this goes forward.

— Amy Millan (@amymillan) September 14, 2018

RIGHTEOUSNESS OF THE RAGE: Ugh, gross. All 3,400 words of this piece are drenched in self-pity. This guy really doesn’t seem to get it: the #MeToo pioneers were not the men who have been made accountable for their actions, the #MeToo pioneers are the women who jeopardized everything to bravely share their stories of abuse. (And that’s just one problematic point of many.)

What’s particularly disappointing is that Ghomeshi was given a powerful platform to share his story. NYRB editor Ian Buruma gave an interview with Slate to explain his decision to feature the story, saying: “The exact nature of his behaviour—how much consent was involved—I have no idea, nor is it really my concern. My concern is what happens to somebody who has not been found guilty in any criminal sense but who perhaps deserves social opprobrium, but how long should that last, what form it should take, etc.”

To which the Internet  appropriately responded:

Wanna know how male abusers get their comebacks? By having sexist male editors feel bad for them! @ian_buruma characterizes Ghomeshi's behavior – accusations of sexual assault & punching – as "being a jerk", among other gems

— Jessica Valenti (@JessicaValenti) September 14, 2018

Sierra Burgess Is A Loser called out for problematic plot points

THE STORY: Netflix’s highly anticipated high school romcom, Sierra Burgess Is A Loser, has brought a wave of positive attention to its lead actors, Shannon Purser and Noah Centineo. Some of the plot points of the film, however—such as its catfishing premise, an unconsented kiss, a homophobic joke and a scene in which Sierra pretends to be deaf—have been called out by viewers as problematic. (You can read a round-up of the movie’s off-colour jokes here.)

THE REACTION:

sierra burgess is a loser was terrible written and had transphobic & homophobic jokes, as well as faking being deaf, & an unconsented kiss. the actors are all incredible but the plot sucked and the characters had potential but the writing ruined it.

— aya (@cvntineos) September 9, 2018

sierra burgess is a loser disappointed me. transphobic & homophobic jokes, catfishing and faking a disability is suddenly "ok". just because you've got a hard time fitting in doesn't mean being a straight up dick is fine and consent is not a thing anymore. would not recommend

— faria 🌻 (@coolfariaX2) September 7, 2018

So one of my close friends' deaf brother is in Sierra Burgess

When I learned, I was elated. Finally more deaf actors/representation & ASL inclusion in films

… Only to find out the deaf character was written and used for a terrible joke.

PS- pretending to be deaf is NOT ok.

— Nyle DiMarco (@NyleDiMarco) September 9, 2018

RIGHTEOUSNESS OF THE RAGE: I was hopeful that this seemingly body-positive, heartwarming romance film would shine—especially on the heels of Netflix’s oh-so-charming To All the Boys I Loved Before. Unfortunately, it just didn’t do it for me. Maybe it was the problematic plot points noted above, or maybe, I just couldn’t get over how uncomfortable the concept of catfishing made me.

That said, there are things about the movie that I liked: the female friendship formed between Sierra and Veronica is probably the most moving relationship of the film. And, the movie managed to stay away from the cliche (and toxic) makeover scene that suggests changing your appearance is the key to finding your happily ever after. Sierra Burgess doesn’t change herself, she simply lies and manipulates her love interest—which apparently still lands you the heartthrob in the end.

New LPA sweater reads: “being fat is not beautiful it’s an excuse”

THE STORY: A sweatshirt collab between LPA’s founder Pia Arribo and a series of celebs was released via retailer Revolve this week, with each sweater showcasing a comment made by an Internet troll. The “as said to” quotes from Lena Dunham, Paloma Elsesser, and Cara Delevingne are printed on grey pullovers with the recipient’s Instagram handle written underneath. Elsesser’s quote, “being fat is not beautiful it’s an excuse,” was the item in the collection that gained the most attention.

THE REACTION:

LOLLLLL @REVOLVE y’all are a mess. pic.twitter.com/CrzOkd5oE4

— Tess Holliday 🥀 (@Tess_Holliday) September 12, 2018

If I see thin women wearing this “being fat is an excuse” shirt from @REVOLVE …we’re gonna fight.

— Meghan Tonjes (@meghantonjes) September 12, 2018

I guess my biggest question for @lenadunham is, how can you say this was a collaboration meant to empower fat women if @REVOLVE doesn't fucking make plus size clothing?

— slayley (@haydigz) September 12, 2018

RIGHTEOUSNESS OF THE RAGE: I mean, I can see where this idea came from. (Other sweatshirts included quotes like, “Too Bony To Be Boned,” as reportedly said to Delevingne, and “Horrible Result Of Modern Feminism,” as reportedly said to Dunham.) But even within the context of combatting cyberbulling and reclaiming hateful words, it feels like this collab misses the mark. As many critics on Twitter pointed out, Revolve doesn’t actually carry clothes above a size XL. And so, instead of empowering women with a slogan, they’re really just reinforcing it.

Revolve released a statement to E! News on September 12th, which read: “The prematurely released images featured on Revolve.com was not only included without context of the overall campaign but regrettably featured one of the pieces on a model who’s size was not reflective of the piece’s commentary on body positivity. We at Revolve sincerely apologize to all those involved–particularly Lena, Emily, Cara, Suki and Paloma–our loyal customers, and the community as a whole for this error.”

The collection was canceled, but not before serial apologist Lena Dunham, who was the target of much of the Internet backlash, chimed in with her own hot take:

View this post on Instagram

For months I’ve been working on a collaboration with my friend Pia’s company LPA through parent company @revolve – sweatshirts that highlight quotes from prominent women who have experienced internet trolling & abuse. This is a cause very close to my heart and the proceeds were meant to benefit charities that help young women by empowering them to express themselves through writing and art. Without consulting me or any of the women involved, @revolve presented the sweatshirts on thin white women, never thinking about the fact that difference and individuality is what gets you punished on the Internet, or that lack of diversity in representation is a huge part of the problem (in fact, the problem itself.) As a result, I cannot support this collaboration or lend my name to it in any way. This isn’t meant to shame Pia or the great work she’s done with LPA. I am deeply disappointed in @revolve’s handling of a sensitive topic and a collaboration rooted in reclaiming the words of internet trolls to celebrate the beauty in diversity and bodies and experiences that aren’t the industry norm. *** I’d like to especially extend my love and support to @palomija, whose quote was the first to be promoted and mangled. She’s a hero of mine. Like me, she gave her quote in good faith and shared her vulnerability in order to support arts education and to spread her message of empowerment, and she wasn’t consulted in the marketing. Not an ounce of negativity should be sent her way. *** My only goal on this planet is to empower women through art and dialogue. I’m grateful to every woman who shared a quote and so disappointed that our words were not honored. As a result, I will be making a donation to the charity of every woman’s choice who was wronged with me and I hope that @revolve will join me with a contribution of their own. *** P.S. This Rubens painting makes me happy because it’s about women joining in love, but he didn’t recognize diversity at all- he just loved curvy butts. Problematic fave.

A post shared by Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) on Sep 12, 2018 at 11:47am PDT